Critical Role - C2E50 The Endless Burrows

Episode Date: February 1, 2019

The Mighty Nein follow the tunnels of the Krynn's burrowing worms, but find much more than caverns and rocks await them down in the underground...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hello, spellcasters, sages, and spectators. I'm Ashley Johnson, and you're listening to the Critical Role Podcast Network. Tap into our magical narrative by watching Critical Role as it airs on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can watch the video on demand right away, or you can catch it the following Monday on YouTube. As always, Critical Role will be available right here in podcast form on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. And now, let's scry into the story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we?

Welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Nice try. So, before we jump into tonight's game, we have some quick announcements to get through. First and foremost, we have our fantastic returning sponsor

for the second year now with this campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond! Hi. A little tickle in my throat. Sorry, hi guys. now with this campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond! Hi! A little tickle in my throat. Sorry, hi guys. As you all know, I am a bit of an amateur inventor. This is no news to you guys.

That's total news. Some of my most notable inventions have been the Pet Hot Air Balloon, the Smell Over Skype plugin, and of course, the Nintendo Virtual Boy. But this new one I invented for our friends at D&D Beyond. It's an invention that I made. Jesus. Oh god.

I call it the D&D Beyond Mer-Siri. It's all the organizational power of D&D Beyond in a tricked-out smart speaker with a helpful voice that some of you might recognize. I'll demonstrate it for you right now, guys. Merceri, what's the best way to organize your D&D characters and campaigns? That's simple. It's D&D Beyond. Hey, see, it works. Merciri, tell me about the halfling race. Standing three feet tall, halflings are adept at hiding,

avoiding conflict, and have remarkable luck. They are a typically happy race, sort of the opposite of goblins. Ew, goblins. Goblins are super gross. Okay, seriously. Okay, okay, okay. Merciri, cancel. Merciri, who's the best player on Critical Role?

Accessing data. The answer is Travis Willingham. Okay, okay. That's fine, that's fine.ceri, who's the smartest player on Critical Role? Taliesin Jaffe. He has 4,000 years of knowledge. That's true, that is true. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Merceri, who are the top three cast members on Critical Role by popularity? Number one, Travis Willingham. Sure.

Number two, a tie between Marisha Ray, Laura Bailey, Ashley Johnson, Liam O'Brien, Taliesin Jaffe, and Matthew Mercer. Number three, Maxwell James. Okay, wait a minute. He's not in the cast. There's some bugs. There's some bugs. Fine.

Merceri, could you please list the most handsome male cast members with a beard who are not Taliesin, Liam, or Sam? Will Wheaton, Corey Payton. Fuck you. Wait, can you do that list one more time, Merceri? Will Wheaton, Corey Payton, Will Friedle, Marisha Ray. Yeah, so she doesn't even have a beard, Merceri. It doesn't matter.

She's an amazing, talented woman, and she should be on every list. That's true. Respect. Okay, Merceri, roll a d20 for me. You rolled a one. Oh. Merceri, roll another d20 for me.

You rolled a one. Fuck you. Merceri, roll a d20. You rolled a 1. Fuck you! Merciri, roll a d20. You rolled a natural 20. Oh my fucking god! Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board, guys. Let's wrap this up. Merciri, could you tell the people

where they can find D&D Beyond? Just visit dndbeyond.com, or if you don't have a computer, just tweet your D&D-related question directly to Matthew Mercer's Twitter account. He promises to respond to you within three hours. Okay, thank you. Thank you, guys, look for this in stores soon.

Fabulous. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Merceri. That sounded just like Matt. It did. That's so weird. I'm a good inventor! Wow.

The virtual boy. Is this a FaceTime error? Is this? Oh my god. Wow. Smashed it all together. Thank you, Sam, and thank you, our friends at D&D Beyond. We kicked off our second season of Between the Sheets

this past week with our fantastic friend, Logic, Bobby. It was a great interview. You can check out the VOD at the youtube.com slash Critical Role. We'll be chatting next Monday with Q and Tran, which is our wonderful Sam Riegel's wife, amazing, accomplished director of photography for all of television and film, and a genuine badass. You'll watch it and be like, Sam? And you know what? He'll agree. True. Check it out at 7pm Pacific time at twitch.tv slash Critical Role. I'll be in the chat just saying, I know, right?

All right, Laura, you have some merch updates. Oh, do I, do I? You guys may have noticed, right here on one Sam Riegel, is a beautiful Whispered One. Ooh, look at those pets. I'll do the Travis thing, ready? I think the shirt enhances it. Oh man, I know it's perfect. Stand up a little.

Right in his sternum. Oh. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh. This is designed by Lauren Emerson, who also designed the cover on the art book, if you might have noticed. So that's in the store right now.

Well, I mean, is it in the store right now? Hold on. It's in the store right now! And you guys, in the UK, it's going.K. on February 21st, I think, or the end of February, something like that. Speaking of February 21st, the other thing I need to tell you about is our art prints that are on pre-order right now. Can we bring out Vox Machina? No, we have them here? Bring them out. This is our beautiful...

Whoa! I know! It's bigger than everyone. So these were designed by Matteo Scalera and Marino D'Inicio, and they're phenomenal. Is there another one? Yeah, yeah, well, there's also. Oh shit.

Wait for it. Be careful with it, be careful with it, don't rush it. This is the only one. Don't rush it. We have to only one. Don't rush it. We have to take this one. No, but this one is super, super. We're taking this one to Kinko's later to make copies. Oh!

The Mountain Dive! So you can order these for pre-order, and these kind and also signed versions are available as well. Those are being on pre-order until February 21st at midnight, 1159 PM, Pacific time. That's our time. I can see the taste.

Mateo is a mad genius. Yeah, he is. Fucking such an amazing. I mean, they're gorgeous. They really are. These are on really nice art paper. You guys may remember our David Mack art prints that we did. It's similar paper.

It's actually even nicer paper than it was before. It's slicky poster paper. It's like badass. Yeah. That's the texture. Yeah, I love you, and that's what's available in the store. Don't take it away! As well as other things, you know.

Did we get copies of that after the show? Maybe. Oh, and you can go to our US shop at shop.critrole.com and our UK shop, shop.critrole.co.uk. Nice! Nice job! Nothing else, that's it. Thank you, Laura.

Dot. All right, final announcement. This is an important final announcement. We're actually taking a week off from Critical Role next Thursday, February 7th, and Talks of Machina will also go dark that Tuesday, February 12th. We'll be back on Thursday, February 14th at 7 p.m. Pacific with Critical Role, so we'll see you guys then. I believe that's it in all as far as the announcements are concerned. No, I'm not ready.

So, with that being the case, it's time to jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends And the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames For the battles ahead Villains beware

Cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got fouchions and cunning They don't see over there, there's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice Roll the dice Can you answer the call?

Digging deep in your soul. As the legend unfolds. Now it's your turn. To roll. And welcome back. SAM and LAURA And welcome back. Oh, you're so good. Wow. I love it when you abandon it halfway through the word.

You are the laziest, laziest male. I salute you, Lord Baelor. Oh, that's the biggest set. We're not even 10 seconds. No? Trash and burn. Oh! So.

Last we left off, the Mighty Nein had found their way back from the Menagerie Coast to check in with some friends and the general chaos that seemed to be involved with Nott's history. You discovered that this apothecary that had burned to the ground belonged to a male halfling who has now gone missing, and discovered that Nott had a little boy. After learning about Nott's history, learned more than that,

you learn that Nott at one point was indeed a halfling, and through a vengeful plot by the goblins that stalk the southwestern or southeastern regions of the Empire's Marrow Valley, she managed to help her family escape, but was drowned and then reincarnated by some sort of a hooded power figure that had an alliance with these goblins, it seemed.

Brought back as a goblin and has been living as such for the better part of two years now. Upon asking around the city and getting some information, you discovered that the husband of Nott or Veth, if you will, has been apparently taken by the Kryn and had some involvement with his alchemical studies with the Cerberus Assembly and this study of Dunamis. You acquired a few objects

from a subterranean basement laboratory that was mostly trashed, apparently, in the raising of the city. You then decided to inspect ahead and inspect the tunnels where these Kryn emerged from. One of them apparently was still somewhat intact and deciding to not be balked by a sheer wall of stone and rock,

Jester proceeded to twice polymorph herself into a dire honey badger and burrow her way through hundreds of feet of rock, emerging on what appeared to be the rest of this uncollapsed, burrowed tunnel of a large worm creature they had used to attack without warning the city of Felderwin. As you, the Mighty Nein,

had made your way beyond that boundary and began to step into this subterranean cavern system, stalking and seeking the path that these individuals took here beneath the surface, we begin tonight's game. So, first off, how would you like to prepare? What is your marching order? Let me know what your plan is now

going into the sheer dark underground beneath the Marrow Valley. I love it when you can hear the DM's frustration and the retelling of the story. You guys are being really stupid. Not frustration. No! I would like to know which one of you is hitting the rotating knives first, is what he is. They're not knives.

Maybe it's not the smartest idea for us to do this. Maybe we should just leave. What do you think? Pack up and go? But my husband... Mm. Just kidding. We spent three months searching for your backstory.

But I'm good, so, you know. It was only a joke, Nott, sorry, terrible timing. We should push on. I hear in Xhorhas, they have a captain there who has lots of eyeballs that you can ingest into your body. Really? Yes. Lots of eyeballs?

Lots of golden eyeballs that you can just put in your belly. Sounds like a magic place. Yes. This fucker. I just figured that out. Okay. Not even kidding. All right, what are we preparing?

Well, first off, a marching order. The tunnels here can range between brief bits of cavern and open chambers to following this carved worm tunnel, which is about ten feet wide and is cylindrical. So you can have, at most, two people shoulder to shoulder going through each place. So I would like to know, for the majority of this journey,

and tell me when you want to change it up at any point, I want to know what your marching order is traveling through here. It's the best darkvision, I imagine. I put on my goggles, for sure. I got 60. I put 60 as well. Me too. But I'm not very perceptive.

I'm decently perceptive about you. I'm very perceptive, but I can't see in the dark. Oh no, really, Caduceus? And the two player eggs do not go shoulder to shoulder. No. We should probably keep a little bit of distance. I'll stand next to you, Fjord, in the front. Can octopuses see in the dark?

You do the face mask thing. That's not happening here. No? He's a cat. No, but I have this rag over one of my, it's dim, but maybe you and I can stand near the middle. I'll stick with you. All right.

All right, so we have Caleb and Caduceus towards the center. I guess I'll go up front. Well, you got shitty darkvision. Oh, but you got the goggles. And who are you with, Nott? No one's called a partner. Nugget! I'll go with you.

Okay. Also, we should probably have Yasha up front as well. Good call. Darkvision for Yasha? Probably not. Maybe? Go look. 60 feet. There you go.

All right, so Yasha and Beau at the front. Behind that, Caleb and Caduceus. Who's behind that? I think it was going to be me and F and Beau at the front. Behind that, Caleb and Caduceus. Who's behind that? I think it was going to be me and Fjord at the front. Are you perceptive? Decent. All right, so Fjord and Jester at the front. Nott, you're taking the back?

I'm with Marisha, I mean Beau, wherever she is. So then where's Yasha? Yasha can be at the back. Yasha's in the back. Okay. All right, there you go. Sorry, Matt. Don't apologize, it's okay, we, wherever she is. So then where's Yasha? Yasha can be at the back. Yasha's in the back. Okay. All right. There you go. Sorry, Matt. Don't apologize, it's okay, we're figuring this out. Will Nugget fit by Yasha?

Okay, yeah, if you would like to have taken your... Where else will I put him, you know? I don't know. I don't know, maybe outside of the tunnel? Back at the, I don't know, place where we were before? I don't have the mini on me at the moment. That's okay. I can do that at the break. However, as you've worked out your grouping

traveling through these tunnels, you go on for an hour, two hours. Those at the front, which would be you two. I'd like you both to make a perception check, please. I will give you advantage. All right, so you're helping. Helping, yeah. Okey dokey.

That would be 19. Okay. So keeping a watch as you guys progress, the faint perpetual decline decline goes deeper and deeper beneath the earth. The rushing sounds of the underground river that seems to be walking alongside this passageway slowly fades as you see the river now pass beneath stone. The cavern come to an end and you can see the entrance of the next portion of the tunnel where the worm creature had to burrow into this chamber.

So there are natural pockets of cavernous areas here, but a lot of them aren't connected except for by this particular burrowed tunnel. So that's probably going to be the path you're going to be looking for wherever you're traveling. Okay. Hey, I have a question, you guys. So I've got this, you know,

super secret dodecahedron thingy in my bag that Yussa specifically said that we should not be bringing near anything and stuff, and now we're taking it right to the source. Do you think that's a bad idea? Well, as a bit of clarification, I think we weren't supposed to use it, right? Anything that would activate it and send off energy.

I think as long as it's in the other dimension that is her bag, it's okay, right? Right, unless they capture me and flip my bag inside out and then they have it, yeah. We'd still be in a big metal case until they really... Yeah, but we need to weigh the risks we are facing and Nott's husband. Where would we put it otherwise?

I don't know. There are also people behind us, topside, who would kill us for this as well. Yep. Yeah. Where's the tripod and stuff right now? It's in my bag as well. So you know, I've got the whole setup going. You've got the gun and the clip.

Yeah. Well, but the only way they're going to grab it and turn it out is if most of us are dead, right? Right. And we're only fighting an entire army of soldiers, so it probably won't happen that we will die. We don't know that. It might be very nice there.

That's true, Yasha. You think it'll be nice? Yasha stares ahead for a moment and goes, Um, having been to places like the coast, it's not very nice. Let's just make sure you don't get captured and your bag doesn't get grabbed. No harm in focusing on the positive. That's right.

Nothing we can do about it. So we're going to come to a conclusion later, maybe? We're just looking on the bright side of things. Okay. We're optimists. We can't make a plan until we know what we're up against. Yep.

That's true. If we are lucky, we will overtake them before we return to their home. And if they're too much, then we'll just get what information we can, maybe sneak in while they're sleeping and scurry out with what we need with no harm, no problem. Yeah.

I have no idea what we're talking about. Let's push forward. It's okay. What's in this pocket or cavern? Anything cool? Lulling of perception. You don't see anything aside from the natural formations. There's the smell of hard water and wet earth

that permeates the entirety of this chamber and continuing on for quite some time. The natural chambers and pathways here, of this chamber and any continuing on for quite some time. The natural chambers and pathways here, like I said, are chained together by these tunnels, but within them, it doesn't look like, from anything you've seen so far, is lived in. You don't see signs of any other creatures

making homes or nests. You do see what looks to be bits of quartz-like crystal that is soon to be forming from just gathered minerals over time. I really like it. Yeah, it's pretty. A series of stalactites and stalagmites. Nice.

They find their way through the chamber and say, See? Thank you guys for your help. Tea. Top. Yes. Keep giving me suggestions. Mark this in your fucking up. It's not condescending at all. Just keep giving me suggestions. I want to really figure it out. Yeah. It's not condescending at all. What about, are there footprints on the ground? Make a Seraphic check.

We did find some earlier. Yeah, in the previous tunnel. 15? 15? Yeah, based on looking at the ground here, which is mostly packed dirt and general loose pieces of pebbles and things that were pushed and ground around by the creature that made its way through the area.

In its wake, you can see familiar footfalls similar to the shape that you had previously seen that didn't match the rest of the Crownscart and or the Righteous Brand that existed in the vicinity of Felderwin. So you do notice the trail, the tracks of what appear to be the Kryn warriors that had exited. It does lead and follow the burrowing path of the worm.

How big of a trail is the worm thing? Is it like this? Is it like this? It's about 10 feet wide, Like eight to 10 feet wide. Cool. Cool. So we're just fighting these guys and the giant worm creature that is 10 feet in width. So, you know, he's probably kind of long. Probably. And we've got lots of room to maneuver in these cabins.

Are you scared? I mean, I'm not going to lie, I am a little bit nervous. I think I would just be a little more confident if we had a vague idea of a plan. I'm not, don't get me wrong, super down to fly by the seat of my pants, that type of girl, but, you know, sneaking in, killing people

in the middle of the night, armies, fight, getting captured, these all sound like real big stories. I have a question for you, Jester. Do you know how you have just turned yourself into the oversized honey badger? Yeah. Could you do that to a giant worm,

but say turn it into a cow? Well, yeah, that's remember what I did to you. Oh, you weren't. Remember when I turned that dragon into that little thing? That's what I could do to a worm, I guess. I did that to the dragon before you came in, you know, when we almost died. It was a good time. Yeah.

But rather than trying to whack away at a gigantic worm, maybe you just make it harmless, but not so little that it loses its new form. Good call. Like a goat, maybe. Yeah, a goat. Yeah. Or a... Or something like a sparrow or something It's a new form. Good call. Like a goat, maybe. Yeah, a goat. Yeah. Or a...

Or something like a sparrow or something, so it will fly away, you know? So it won't be... I like that better. Goats are weird. It's queer people. Firefly, we can catch it. And keep it to each other.

I think something small is likely to get smacked and taken out of its newer form. It would need to be something that could take a bit of punishment. Like a dire honey badger. Like that. Oh. Cool.

Or a cow. See? Or. Look, Beau, we have a plan. Encounter Wyrm, turn into a cow. Profits. It's a good first sword. You know, dire honey badgers got claws and stuff. Maybe like a dire sheep.

Oh, that's good, I like that, Fjord. Anyway. They still have square pupils, but. It'll hit you in the moment. I got a feeling. Also, though, I can't do that until we sleep, but I don't think we're going to run into them today, right? Because they're probably really far ahead of us because they got a two week sort of leap.

Totally. Stop laughing, DM. That's not funny. No, roll a nature check. What, what, what? What did you roll for? Just roll a nature check, it's fine. Everybody's doing it. That's an eight. Eight. Because my nature sucks. You have no idea if sheep's pupils are square. Okay, thank you.

I didn't need a roll to know that. Okay. All right. We push on. You push on? Mm-hmm. Okay. So, what little light you have, shoving back the darkness via the dull orb

that Caleb is carrying in the center, the heart of your traveling troop, you leave that first winding cavern and begin to continue down the burrowed hallway created by the swarm. It stretches on for a mile, two miles, five miles. Can I keep a lookout to see if there's any markings on the walls, any signs of directional type of code or language, while we're walking. Traps. Traps?

No, they wouldn't think anyone would be following them. They covered up the thing with 200 feet of earth and rock. 19. 19, okay. Walking along, the things you do notice is the stone and earth seems fairly smooth, the way it's pushed through, but getting up close, you can see tiny little scrapes or hooks

where you gather is probably how the creature manages to break through and push its way through, through expanding and contracting muscles within its long body, and these spine or scale-like protrusions that dig in and pull it along rather quickly underground. Beyond figuring out the locomotion of this entity, this creature, you don't, along this part of the journey

at least yet, see any signs of markings or purposeful markings, essentially. Continuing on for the next five to six hours, still following this tunnel. Starting to get a little tired. At some point we do need to rest. Uh-huh. I wonder if there's another big pocket of cavern

coming up, or if we have to sleep in this little tunnel. I forget what time we entered into the tunnel. What time of day was it? If I recall, it was somewhere around midday, a little afternoon. I mean, we could push on for another hour or two, but we really should. Mr. Caleb, Caleb, what time is it?

Oh, right. Well, I will tell you. I'd say at this time, it's probably close to dusk on the surface. You fucking feet, dust feet. Your fucking feet. It's in the book. I know, it's in the book, it's in the book. We're just in the bored-out tunnel that the worm made, right? There's no water near us,

because we passed water on the way in. Yeah, you passed water the first cavern that you went through, which that lasted for maybe another, about a mile or so. Okay. The bulk of it weaving through, where a lot of the water passing through that river had carved through the rock over time,

but then eventually that trailed off and this burrow was the only other path to take. So you've been there for a number of hours now. Well, I mean, you know that thing where you've gone so far, you can't really, we can't turn around, can we? Feels like it would be a waste of a day. Got to keep going.

Absolutely. Mm-hmm. All've got to keep going. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. All right. So you keep pressing on. All right. A few more hours pass. People at the front, go ahead and roll perception checks for me, please. You again?

I'll help. I have a question for Caduceus. 17. 17, okay. Good to know. You had a question for Caduceus you said? Cad, do you have any idea how far underground we are? Nope. Okay. All right. So glad it's one I can answer.

You continue on for another hour or so. You do come to another chamber, but it's only about 30 by 20 feet wide, and it's a heavy geode. It looks like they're a locked piece, a pocket of old, stale air that was opened up as this worm burrowed through. You can see broken crystals of many beautiful colors, a lot of them milky white, quartz-like, a few that are almost a purple amethyst tint to it. I'm going to cast Light behind the crystal. It's a beautiful prism. As you see, the entire room is just a scattering of shades of purple, pink, and strangely, orange. It refracts the light in a way you haven't seen before,

and for the moment, this dark, ominous space becomes this beautiful disco. I couldn't help myself. Magical things live here, I bet. I've heard of fairy creatures. I'm listening very carefully to see if anything, any noise is coming up from the next room. Make a perception check.

With advantage. No, just perception check. Just perception check. I'm listening again. That is a 19. 19, you take a moment and listen to the quiet. No sound, no vibrations. Kill the light again. Kill it, why would you kill it?

We'll turn it back on, but like. It's so beautiful. We are going to rest, right? I mean, might as well take advantage of such a nice place. Well, let's sleep in here. Is the ground covered in crystal, too? Yes, on the edges of it. However, where the worm had burrowed through,

there's a part of the ground that's digging into a divot, and the interior of the geode's been carved out in that space. Is there any part of the wall that's digging into a divot and the interior of the geode's been carved out in that space. Is there any part of the wall that is still stone and not crystal? There are small bits, maybe two or three feet pockets, but a large portion of this little geode chamber is mostly covered in crystal.

Has any of the crystal been broken away by the Wyrm's Passage for you? Yes, quite a bit of it has been cracked and broken. Does any of it look of value as a rare? Make a nature check for me. Nature check. You could tattoo with it. Yeah, maybe.

16. 16. A lot of this appears to be natural crystal. It's not a particular gemstone or anything really precious, per se. You're sure you could probably, there are uses for it. Some people like to use them as focuses for healing and for just general decor,

or just simple, cheap jewelry can be made from this as well. Vivid dreams, man. Yeah, there you go. I'm going to scoop up just a handful of them. Me too, me too, it's pretty. Me three. Okay, you're not sure what the worth is.

You haven't delved in the realm of selling or purchasing crystals in the street before, but you imagine, depending on the person, you could probably get a little bit of coin for it. So I can carve out a chunk of wall if we want to put your little dome inside. The same color as the crystals that are here, and then I can also set an alarm around us.

It's see-through on the inside, right? For us, yeah, but not from the outside. Oh, so in that case, that's pretty cool then. I'll camouflage it to match this room. Yeah, make it so. Once you build it, I'll use Stone Shape to cover it then. Ooh.

So you can give it a little bit of a shell. Yeah, yeah, so it's not such a perfect round surface. So you can keep the lights on? Once he puts up the dome, the shack, I'm going to use Stone Shape to just sort of cover it really quickly with a thin layer of rock to make it look... To make it look... Earthen.

Earthen. It's not like five feet thick of rock, but a couple inches just to blanket it. Yeah, you couldn't cover the entire dome, but you could definitely create a portion of it. Yeah, it's going to have a faux fur. Hopefully leave an area where we can pop our heads out if need be. Yes, oh yeah, it's going to be an opening. Did you say you were going to have a faux front. Hopefully leave an area where we can pop our heads out if need be. Yes, oh yeah, it's going to be an opening.

Did you say you were going to carve a hole to put it inside of, or should I just make it against this side of the chamber? Probably put it against so we can see what's behind. I mean, I don't know, what do you think? Rocks against the wall are always safe. This is true. I agree with Fjord.

Okay. I'm going Fjord. Okay. I'm going to pull the rock that I used for that front from the wall, and I'm just going to give us a couple feet in, if that's possible, just to like, just push something. Okay. I'll allow it. I've been looking at stun shape and what it'll do.

Yeah. So you essentially diffuse element of that rock away from it to create the shell on the opposite side. Totally doable. You create a hut. I take out my book and I slap it down on the stone surface of this chamber we're in. I take about ten minutes, and then there is a hemisphere that is the same color as the chamber around us. As soon as that is done, I then take out the silver thread and I start making a little white picket fence

that's not actually a picket fence in front of that. All right. You guys go ahead and take your evening's rest. Wait. I'm going to use sending. Okay. I'm going to send a message to Yussa. And I'm going to say,

shit, I didn't have time to write it out? Hello, it's Jester. We are bringing that dodecahedron with us. We're on our way to... I can't remember the name of it. Xhorhas. Xhorhas. Do you think it's dangerous? Should we not?

Is that it? Well. Please respond to this message. Wow. Getting good at this. Yeah, right? There's a pause, and the voice comes through. Well, I would say it is

not advised to give it up, to pull it out of your bag, but who am I to keep you from taking an artifact into the heart of danger. I think he's cool with it. We're making the right choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is 100%. What we're supposed to be doing here?

You have a high enough wisdom to know that there was a hint of biting sarcasm to his statement, but interpret that as you will. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Confirmation. We're doing good. Now, is everyone taking a comfortable evening's rest

within the hut? I will... Do we want to take watches? I mean, we're pretty safe, right? No watch needed. No watch needed, man. I mean, unless somebody wants to keep a watch and make sure nothing comes by.

But that's what the threat, the threat will wake us if it. You do have a pretty decent setup between the tiny hut and the alarm threat. Let's all try it. Everybody sleep. Good night's sleep. All right. Can you put the nightlight on, though? Because it's really pretty.

All right. I also send Frumpkin out of the hut to sit in the shadows of the chamber and tell him to come in and wake me up if he hears anything coming further than the perimeter of the alarm. Okay. You guys all find yourself to rest here,

deep beneath the surface of Exandria. For some of you, dreams come. For some of you, no. It's a clean sleep-to-wake experience. Until eventually you slowly come to consciousness, feeling rested, though strange to not have a day or night cycle. Nothing has changed from your experience.

You feel like you've rested, but have you? Could have been an hour, could have been eight hours. Being this far beneath the surface for an extended period of time is going to be a little strange for those of you who have not had that experience, which is all of you. Will it?

Legitimate question, because I don't want to dick with the story you're weaving, but does Keen Mind cut through that? You would know, that's a good question. Let me look it up real fast. God. I know. Sexy. It really is. It's an okay creature.

They made a beautiful book. You always know the number of hours left before the next sunrise or sunset, so I'd say, yeah, you'd be able to tell everyone. But even just informing everyone of the time, it's still just like. It won't mean anything to them, they'll be. You can say it and be like,

oh yeah, guys, it's nine in the morning, cool. But no issues, nothing has changed. Frumpkin did not notice anything out of the ordinary. And as the hut comes to a close and you step out from behind the somewhat created stone shell placed by Caduceus, the tunnel is yours. Lighting it up again, because it's just nice. On we go. Yep.

Frumpkin also skips up Nott's back and snuggles in, grips her clothing with his claws, damn my original cat, and scarfs around Nott's neck. You got it. As Frumpkin keeps you warm in the throat region, you all continue onward. Same order? All right. Those helming the charge at the front, go ahead and either each take an individual reception check or you may help for advantage. Okay, okay, okay. Great job.

Great job, Regan. Good call. 19 again. Nice, all right. A few more miles of winding tunnel continue before you, and it's a very trying, monotonous experience where it's just lengths of time and travel, where there's no real change in topography. Slight variations as it winds in this

natural shifting with the physicality of the creature that burrowed it, but it's just this cylindrical of stone and earth for hours and hours until you catch the next first glimpse of another chamber opening before you. You catch the next first glimpse of another chamber opening before you. Does it, do I see any movement in it? You do not see any movement. As you get a little closer,

you can begin to see the interior of the chamber, near where it opens up inside. The air here is already pretty chilly here beneath the surface. The air has more moisture to it than the tunnel you've been traveling through. You can smell a bit of that heavy mineral subterranean water scent. You listen in for a second and you can hear what sounds like the subtle dripping of condensation, probably from the ceiling, which means there's probably a nearby water source somewhere in the vicinity. But there is a chamber that opens up ahead of you.

There's a chamber ahead of us. Oh my god. It sounds wet, Nott. No! I know. I know. I didn't think we'd have to deal with a water issue down here. What, you said it just sounds wet?

Yeah. What does that even mean? There could be an underground river, I don't know. Or it could just be wet. Or, yeah, it could be that. Or it could be a water monster. Or Fjord could just be dicking around with his cheek trick. No, maybe that's all I'm hearing.

You mean a broad shit? I'm going to cast Pass the Dutty Trace on all of us and we'll approach it stealthily. What do you guys think about that? Yes, yes, yes, good idea. Okay. We're approaching it stealthily. That hurt.

All right. We'll stealth check, can we please? Stealth check! Stealth check! Oh, stealth check. Don't fuck me, yeah. Natural 20. Ooh!

10 out of 10. 30. Pass Without a Trace, cool. Oh, what? Is everybody going? Yeah, we already did it. 30. 21. 31.

24. 30. 30. Did you roll for Yasha as well? All balls and anus, here you go. 22, no? Plus 10? 24.

All righty. Moving into the chamber, as it opens in, you can see this area has quite a heavy clustering of stalagmites and stalactites all across the interior of this chamber. It opens up maybe 40 or so feet wide, and it seems to curve around this large bend. Elements of it rise, and while you do not see a river,

looking up at where the water is dripping from, you get the sense that there might be a large body of water not that far above. Elements of the groundwater are trickling through, and elements are gathering to create the interior of this chamber. I did not prepare for that. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

What would be above us? Oh, you know, a river, pond. What was the thing? There was a river. Underwater? Yeah, where are we? We would know, we could figure out where we are. Where's the map? It's right here. We've been traveling for miles. Yeah, but we know which direction we're going. That's true, I know which way is north's the map? It's right here. We've been traveling for miles. Yeah, but we know which direction we're going.

That's true, I know which way is north. It's that way. Yes, you know where north is. Under the big river, that means. You don't have a GPS, per se, but you know where north is. No, but the whole time we've been walking, I've been conscious of which direction it is. Right, so you have a vague idea.

So you've been traveling for a day from Felderwin, right? So it's about, say about 24 miles in a day. You'd be about there. Oh jeez. So this vicinity here, so you're right in this vicinity. Yep, big-ass body of water. Big enough to show up on a map. There are the heavy stalagmites and rock protrusions from the ground that litter the

interior of the chamber as it curves off to the side. Well, that's a good sign. That means that this is at least a natural cavern, which means it's been here for a long time and whatever's above hasn't disturbed it. Good point. That's good, that's a good sign.

And from where we are, I don't know if I can, because I can only see from this little bit of dim light, but where from this chamber the worm just continued on straight through? You cannot see where the worm went through. You can't see the other side? You can't see the other side, and it looks like the worm, when it entered this chamber,

you don't see in your vicinity where it may have continued to burrow. Got it, yes. You get the sense that maybe this creature and the people that were steering it were leading it through whatever open chambers were possible and then only burrowing when there was no continuation. Maybe give it a run around in here

like a dog in a dog park. Yeah, you know. I guess we should search around and see if we can find a hole in the wall. Yeah, I'm going to have a little light and see if I can find any tracks or anything for this thing or any other footprints. Make a survival check.

Survival check. A survival check. Can I see if there's any signs of life? Any humans that have been here before, people? You're looking for? Signs of life or signs of people who've been here before? Like, a path or something? Yeah, like, campfires. Okay, so both of you are looking for

essentially signs of things. And we look for a hole in the wall. Okay, perception check and then survival checks from each of you. I got a 21. 21, okay. 11. You don't got this. Nine!

Wait, plus 14! Oh! Not bad. All right, so looking around, you continue to see the footfalls, the footprints along the patches of ground where it seems like dirt and dust has been settled in there. It's a little bit wet from the moisture of the air. You can see some of these grimy recesses in the muck and the dirt that is similar to the footfalls you've already seen in previous chambers of the cream. You can see some of the stone formations in the ground.

Two of them appear to be broken and pushed over, where it looks like the creature may have shoved its way through. It goes around the edge and then curves up out of sight. You can try and continue to look that direction, but from what you can see in the vicinity, that's the path it's taking. You are looking for holes in the wall. All right. Looking around the vicinity, you don't see any holes in the wall. You do see there are elements in the rock where there are cracks, and you can see where small bits of water is slowly dribbling through and then .

I bet the rock formations in this room are amazing. They're pretty decent. That one looks like a fried egg, look at that. Do you see it? I do. It looks like egg on the top, do you see? I do, and it's even a little bit yellow. You should probably paint a dick on it.

I probably should. I mean, you could tag this whole place. Oh my god, I should make this a temple to the Traveler. Yes. Well, Jester, aren't temples better served by heavy foot traffic? Yeah, but think about how cool it would be if somebody came down here and they were like, what's going on?

And then they find like... It's a speakeasy, but it's like a pray easy. And then if they find it, they're going to be like, dirt is so important. I must definitely worship this guy and it will at least get one person added to it. You could be the bouncer. Yeah, but how much time do you need to dig up this cave?

I don't, I'm just going to paint a really nice picture of the Traveler, and then I'm going to use my special paint, and I'm going to make a nice little figurine of the Traveler, and I'm going to sit it on top of the best-looking rock formation that looks like it's definitely for him. I'm going to paint pretty things around him, like sparkles and shit. Perfect. So you paint a little figure of the entrance and exit.

All right. So you're watching the entrance. I'll go over to where we think, from Beau's notes, the creature seems to have gone. Yeah, as you walk over there, there is an area where it curves and rises up a little bit. To the left, you can see what looks to be a small pool of water, where a lot of smithages is gathered and created this little, tucked in the side pool, maybe five foot by 15 feet. It smells clean. Is it clear? Go ahead and get close to it. It looks clear. Can you see the bottom?

You can see the bottom. It looks to be no more than maybe five, six feet deep. But you can see where it continues up off to that side. As Jester finishes painting the statue, you look around for somewhere to place it. There's a number of these larger rock formations, five, ten feet tall, eight foot tall, little squat ones. What do you want? I'm going to put down the little squat one, but then I'm going to put some of the crystals that I got in my pocket around it. Then on the tall formation, I'm going to write, The travelers, the tits, worship him. Nice. Like, vertically. Perfect. All right, the tits, worship him. Nice.

Like, vertically. Perfect, all right, so just writing that down. And you're at the front? And who's watching the back? I'm keeping an eye on the back. All right, perception check, both of you guys, just to make sure you keep them watch. I'm just looking over his shoulder.

Thanks. 20, 20, no, 21. 21? 24. 24, all right. You watch the distant path, the dark that continues curving up off to the side, and you look over there. No movement, you're looking towards the tunnel where you guys came from.

No movement, you hear the chuckles and look back at what they're doing, and you see one of the stalagmites, these tendrils. Oh no. You need to roll initiative, guys. No! Actually, you roll initiative, because they. They? They?

It? They. Yay. You get a surprise wrap. Oh no. We all took feats that make us immune to surprise, right? Yeah, we all took luck, right? We all took luck?

Yeah. 18's pretty good. I'm assuming I have no initiative bonus. You have no initiative bonus? No. What's wrong with you? I don't know. Half orcs, I don't know. Why am I rolling these weird dice? I could've taken a feat that would've given me,

but I have none of it. Oh, see? Think about how, like, oh! What is this thing? This is a great map! What are those things? What is that sadistic Japanese traffic cone? So wait, where are we putting the travelers? These things suck. Do they?

They really suck. There's a little tiny squat one. Oh my gosh. Oh, it's so cool. Oh, we are fucking, we are in the kill zone right now. We're over on this side here, looking off this way. Oh, fucking balls. What is that? Were you helping them out?

No, I was hanging out with Beau, wherever Beau is. Beau was right there. Yeah, we were with them. Watching his worker magic. I am not noticing. Caleb, where were you? I would be by the largest grouping of people, because I'm scared of everything. Oh no.

What the fuck is that? Whoa. All righty. It's just Zerubbaz, Zerubbaz. Is it? Is it? Well, you don't know, I don't know. You don't know. So, initiative orders, 25 to 20.

Oh. Oh, I didn't know. Roll some, I just said roll initiative. I know, but I thought you said don't because you got a surprise. That means you die. Just so we have it. Oh no, six. Normally.

So 25 to 20. 19. That's not 25 to 20. It's not, but no one else spoke up. It's fine. 18 for Fjord. All right. 15 to 10.

Yasha got a 14. 12 for Caleb. 12 for me as well. 12 for me as well. 12 for me as well. Lots of 12s. So Cad, 12 for Caleb. 12 for me as well. 12 for me as well. 12 for me as well. Wow. So Cad, Caleb. Nott.

No. This is going to be easy. No. I had a screamer earlier. And then we have Jester at the bottom. Right. I'm really distracted, you know, because I'm definitely painting a beautiful.

So Fjord, you go first. I do. You're the only one who noticed them in this scenario, because you were the one who was closest to the action while Caduceus is facing on the backside of the chamber. So what are you doing? Well, I have a short moment of freak out as a rock formation grows fucking tentacles.

Yep. Two of them. You look at that one and go, shit, shit. You see them both. And since the rest of the group doesn't seem to have noticed them, I will charge up two Eldritch Blasts and send one in each direction. Try to point both of them out. Go for it. It's one attacks for each. I will do it. That is 16 to hit. 16 to hit. It just dissipates without effect across its rocky armored surface.

Not good. Can I bonus action hex the second one? Sure. Before the other attack? Which one, this one? Yeah. All right. That'll at least help a little bit. 17. 17? No effect, you watch as the Eldritch Energy,

the green bursts, just scatters across its rocky exterior. No impact. Big trouble! What? And I will use 17, 17 hit. I'll come up on top of the platform and take a little bit of cover behind that. Yeah, this right there's good. I don't know what the fuck they do.

Did we see these attacks fail? You guys, you just all of a sudden heard and you heard him shout. You turn around and saw Fjord shout, big trouble, and then just vanish behind a nearby rock, like a hero. Fjord More tactician? I know. All right, so in this moment of realization of what's happening, you watch as these two large stalagmites suddenly have a single eye that opens in the center, this burning red-orange-ish eye with a vertical slit as the center of it opens up to this large, gaping mouth of sharpened teeth and a liquid tongue on the inside that's slamming around. These four tendrils unravel, so it's now their turn.

Oh, ten. Shit, I'll move fast. You watch as they shift. It looks almost like they're gliding, but there's thousands of tiny cilia underneath that cause them to glide across the ground. This one on this end is going to go ahead and make three attacks. Okay, each can make four tendril attacks. Four? Yes. Oh my god, we're going to die.

Oh, we might. So, Jester, that is a 21 to hit. Look, we're level eight now. That hits me. All right, you are grappled. Oh no. While you're grappled, you are restrained and have disadvantage on strength checks.

Balls and asses. There's one now to Beau that is going to be a 14 to hit. Miss. Against Beau again, that's going to be a 25 to hit. Oh, yeah. So you are, as you're watching this. Just grappled? Yep.

Oh, okay, they don't hurt. Maybe the next turn they will swallow its balls. I don't think so. You are so optimistic. All right, so we'll say you're grappled. Beau? We're also grappled, but I'm putting a restraining word there just to keep a reminder,

because you are technically restrained as well. Against Nott? What, me? Yep. As it out that way. That one's going to be 17. Miss. Misses.

You just duck underneath. The fourth one's going to swing out towards you as well. That's going to be a 20. Hit. You are also grappled. Oh my god. Wait, was that all just one creature attacking us? Correct. There's no save against this grapple. You can try and escape it. It's an action to try and escape from the ground. You can still attack while you're restrained, so you have disadvantage on your attacks.

Strength check versus their strength check, if I remember correctly. Generally. It's your athletics or acrobatics. You choose. Now it's going to make a bite attack against Jester, because you're the closest one to it. Since you're restrained, it has advantage on the attack. It's a natural 20. Oh fuck. Hi! Since you're restrained, it has advantage on the attack. It's a natural 20. Oh! And a three. So a natural 20. Fucking too far, goddammit.

So that's going to be... Ooh. Oh no. If I go unconscious right away. It was a great game. This was really fun, guys. Stop rolling too many dice. I went out doing what I love.

Painting decks? 34 points of piercing damage from the critical hit as its tendril pulls you in towards its mouth, shoves your shoulder and the side of your neck into it, and it grinds down onto you. The armor pulls in and you can feel it piercing the back of your neck. Sharp pain arcs through your body.

Maybe we get the fuck out of here. That's a big hit. This one here is going to go ahead and go for Caleb for an attack. That's going to be 14 to hit. Shield. Shield. It actually almost grabs you, and the last minute you throw your hand up an arcane barrier, flashes in front and the tentacle gets knocked off limply. Yes? Can I use my Hallows' Rebuke? Yes, you may.

Okay. I'll let you go for the, is it okay? Go for it, go for it. Okay, okay, okay! She's got three more tendril attacks. Oh god! Three more? Yeah.

Each round they get four each. Okay, okay, oh. And a bite. Yep. What if they, how about they fought in the last week and one of them is missing one? Haven't encountered adventures in a while. Yep. What if they fought in the last week and one of them is missing one? Haven't encountered adventures in a while, buddy. Like sharks in the wild, and they've got battle damage, you know?

I admire your creativity. Okay. One day, maybe you'll find one. 3d10 damage. As it bites into you, it angrily focus. Ooh! 19 points of cold damage. And what's its save? Oh, it's a dex save.

Dex save. A two. Yes! All righty. The damage definitely takes. It watches these ice crystals suddenly apparate around its mouth where it bit into Jester, and it seems to pull back a bit. Its eye closes and winces at the impact. Now for the other attacks. The second attack against you, Caleb. That's going to be an 18 to hit. Does not hit.

Because his shield's still up. Yeah. Deflects the second attack. Thank god. Third one's going to go for Caduceus. Is it close enough? It has a 50-foot range on the table. Oh my god!

Get out of here! Reaches out, that is going to be 21. That hits. All right. That's terrible! What is this? Okay, good to know. No, this is good, so we're not going to waste time

trying to be safe from these things. You are also grappled. Again, what does grappled mean? It means I can't move. You're considered grappled, Again, what does grappled mean? It means I can't move? You're considered grappled, but while you're grappled, you are restrained, which means you have disadvantage on attacks. You also have disadvantage on strength checks and saving throws. Okay, and I can't move? You cannot move, yes. Your speed is zero.

That'll do. It's fourth and final tendril. It's going to go ahead and shoot for Caleb again. Natural 20. What?! He's within 30 feet of me, isn't he? Yeah. All right, I'm canceling the natural 20. Well, it still hits, but it doesn't... Yeah, but the critical does not take.

Right, it doesn't do any damage. Oh. The tendril is just a... Oh, it's not a damage. Oh, never mind. So it doesn't get any special damage. It gets one bite attack per turn, but it grapples each of you. So you probably won't want to hold onto that. Okay, I know, if it's not doing anything, that's no point.

Don't bleed, please stop. And then it's a disaffect, yeah. I am panicking just a little. That's okay. You were also grappled there, Caleb. And restraint. I'm okay. It was so pretty when we slept in a geode.

That was awesome. Remember that. Yeah, draw that. Is it time to start having the flashbacks? Are we at flashback point? It's going to go ahead and use Reel. What do you mean, Reel? Which pulls.

These attacks are real! Into it. And Caleb into it. Okay, that's going to be interesting. I lose all the close men in my life! It's going to make an attack against you. As you are restrained, attack rolls against you have advantage. Two and a one. Motherfucker! Yeah! All right, so it goes towards to bite you, and the shield is still holding. It's pulling you in

towards its mouth, but you see the barrier pressing and bits of its rocky exterior are cracking, being pressed up against this shield. Caleb says, All right, surprise round's done. Top of the round, Beau, you're up first. Okay. Shit. Can I get closer to the roper?

You are currently grappled and restrained. You have no movement. I was hoping he would do the real thing, but to me, because I'd love to get real. Well, technically you are adjacent to it, because you're both right there, and it's in this space there. So you and Jester are both adjacent to it.

So I can hit him? Yes, you can hit him. It did not reel you in that turn. That's fine. Because I forgot that it can do, you can hit it. It did not reel you in that turn. That's fine. I forgot that it can do the reel as part of its action. Well, I don't know what else to do but to wail on this motherfucker. Go for it. So first attack, it's real bad. It's a natural two. Next attack, not that much better, 20 total.

All right. Your attacks have disadvantage, by the way, because you are restrained. Okay, then I will reroll that one with a natural one. So that's cool. You miss. So that's two attacks so far? That's two attacks so far. The first attack, you can't quite get your hand free. You manage to get it free for a second attack, and it just hits the rock. No impact. Fuck. She rolled a bonus action.

She punched and there was nothing. Well, I rolled a two and then a one, technically, but you rolled disadvantage. Again. Does disengage count if you're grappled? I don't know what these things are. You can disengage, but you still have no movement. You have to escape from it to gain your movement speed back.

Right now, you're wrapped up by its tendril and you can't go anywhere. So disengage wouldn't help me escape from it? No, disengage prevents attacks of opportunity, but you cannot get away from it to even trigger one. Right. Could you use your action if she hadn't already? Yeah, I'll show it after that. Right. Whoa. Could you use your action if she hadn't already? With Yasha after that. Okay.

You could use your action to try and break free. But I already used my action to it. Well, Flurry of Blows. There you go, Flurry of Blows. Get two more strikes on it, each with a disadvantage. Two disadvantages on the first one. Nope, that's two again. Second one. Oh my god. It's a natural 20, and then a 12, bringing me to a 20 total. 20 just hit.

Oh fucking shit. So the first one, the first time you get out, the second one hits the rock and hurts. Get your other arm free and into the stone again. This time you look down as the eye opens up and you see the eye go whack right into the center of its giant glowing eye. Go ahead and roll damage on that one. It's terrible, too! Seven damage. Seven points of damage. I just turn to everybody and go, I think I broke my wrist. And then that's it.

That's the end of your turn? Yeah. All right. Yeah. points of damage. I just turn to everybody and I go, I think I broke my wrist. And then that's it. That's the end of your turn? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Okay, cool. That brings us to four. Yeah, I'll use my 30 feet and I will come around that cover and I will run down to the yoke.

Can I do the thing? No, I have to hit twice. Never mind, nope, nope. You're studying strike if you want to, but that's up to you. Oh, can I do that? Yeah, even when you attack on your Flurry of Blows, as long as you hit with an attack, you can do that. Studying strike! All right, let's go ahead and spend another ki point.

Yep. And as Constitution says, it's a natural one. Motherfucker. There is a god. Okay, okay. That's my turn. All right. And she's smiling. So.

Yes, she is. We'll go ahead and take this thing. Hey, all right. Stunned token and put it on this one. Whoa. That is a lot. What is the other purple thing on him? Hexed.

He's hexed. Correct. So now, Fjord, you can take your turn. Yeah, I'll run up. As you take your turn, you look over and watch as Beau just plunges her fist into the eye of this living stalagmite and you watch as it suddenly starts wriggling in place. It looks like it's having a rough time.

Amazing. I will run up and take two swings with the Summer's Dance falchion against the stunned. Summer's Dance! Your attacks have advantage on it. They do. Because it is stunned, yes. That's amazing, okay. That is a 29 to hit.

That hits. The second one is not as great. That is only a 19. Gotcha. Okay. 19 just barely misses, unfortunately. Okay. 1d8, 1d6. 8, 12. Oh, 1d6 for Hex. 15 points of slashing damage. Slashing! You rush up with one attack, carve across it with the scimitar, and you expect it to just completely deflect the blow,

but the blade does cut through the rock, and you can see where it splits where the blade was. There is a muscly, fleshy interior. This creature's heavily armored by the shell that it's created around itself, but it is definitely mortal. Awesome. Awesome.

Your second strike, however, just glides against the outside of its rocky shell and makes no damage. I am going to use my bonus action and use Misty Step on the falchion to back up on the platform. All right. Right there? Yep. All right. And that is my turn.

You want to be 50 feet away from it? There's no way to get 50. I would say you, because you can only, Misty Step to a place you can see, so you can go there, but you have five feet of movement left. So you can go there anyway. Just as a point of reference. Okay, great. All right, that ends Fjord's turn. Yasha's up.

Yasha would like to rage! And she will rush the traffic cone from hell that is attacking Caduceus and Caleb and take two strikes with her magician's judge. Go for it. Reckless attacks, please. All righty. and take two strikes with her magician's judge. Go for it. Reckless attacks, please. All righty.

That is a natural 20. Oh! Okay. For the first one, and the second one is only a 10. Wow, so that first hit, all the impact and might just smashes into this creature's face. Then she pulls back and, oh, that's all I had. Love barbarians so much.

Oh yeah. Six plus three, that is five, six. I know, nine, 13. 13 times three is 39, right? Yeah, 39 points of slashing damage. Times two, you mean? 13, oh, oh, times two, sorry. 13 times two. 26, yeah.

Not times three, times two. 26. 26, can you add your bonuses on top of that? That's it, yeah. You got it? Oh, no, sorry, rage is three, 26. It's like squared when you're in crits. 29.

There we go. 29 points of damage from that first strike as the Magician's Edge carves down through it. One of the tentacles gets damaged and you see it still holding tight, but it's starting to wear this thing down. Still looking okay, though. That finishes Yasha's turn?

It does. All right. Is that all the 12s? What's that? Is that all the 12s in a row? 12s are next. They're after the Ropers. They're right before you guys.

They're squeezed right between Yasha and your trio's turn. This is the worst episode of Three's Company. This one here is going to go ahead and reel in Nott. Now you get pulled. Wait, they can do that even though they're stunned? That one's stunned, so it can't. Never mind. Yeah! Nice!

That one's turned its over. That one right there is going to attempt to ensnare with one of its free tendrils Yasha. That is going to be a 15 to hit. That hits. It hits. She is also now grappled and restrained. It's going to make a bite attack against Caleb. So hitting it doesn't make them drop the grapple. You have to break free. I was hoping that might be the case. That's another natural 20.

Canceled. All right. Reaction from Caduceus to go ahead and what's the ability called again? It's called Sentinel Divinity. It's actually not a Sentinel Divinity. It's called Sentinel Channel Divinity. It's actually not a Channel Divinity. It's called, no, it's called, where is it? Sentinel Death's Door. So. Was it once per short rest? No, it's five times per long rest.

Ooh. Five times? As long as I'm within 30 feet of somebody who suffers a critical hit, you can turn that hit into a normal hit. Any effect triggered by a critical hit is canceled. That's awesome, I love you. Five times per long rest.

Well, be thankful he reduced that critical. I am. Bye. No. 28 points of piercing damage. That's enough. As it jams your entire arm into its mouth. It's starting to pull you in from the torso up.

The other one is stunned and does not get its turn. Holy! So that brings us to the trio. One-handed, Caleb gets the molasses out and starts smearing it and casting. He's already on it. He's already on it. Too late, and I cast Slow on both of them.

All righty. If I got in Bane, that would have been negative. What's the save? 16. 16, what was it, wisdom? Wisdom, yeah. All right.. If I got in vain, that would have been negative. What's the save? 16. 16, what was it, wisdom? Wisdom, yeah. All right. Damn it.

There. 14. He is slow. He gets, he can do one thing per round now. Oh, that's a, yeah, just brought all those tentacles down to one thing per round. And then that guy is a 15. That's huge.

Fails. They're both slow. 15. That's huge. Fails. They're both slow. Okay. It's about to get worse for them. Those circles are so great. They're so awesome. A fan sent those, actually. That's awesome.

Amazing. Negative two penalty to AC and dexterity saving throws. Can't use reactions. It can use either an action or a bonus action, not both. You got it. All righty. So Caleb, that's your go. Just casting frantically with the offhand.

You watch as they're whipping tendrils that are wrapping around you, all of a sudden you go, Nnno! And it's chewing on Caleb, it's like. Oh no. I'm getting the molasses everywhere! Jester's still partway in, like, oh god! Slow choose. All right, Nott or Caduceus, just go ahead.

Go. Slow down, cowboy. I'm casting Bane on these two. All right, what's the save? The save is a 16 charisma. Charisma, oh, they are not charismatic. Yep, I didn't think they would be. There is a 12. He's got something.

And a zero. So that means that you have to take a negative d4 to attack rolls and saving throws. Yeah. You got it. On both of them. I'm going to then spend my bonus action and I'm going to call a swarm of insects

and I'm going to drop it on the... Let's get one of these out of the way first. Let's get the one that's far away from me. I'm going to drop it right the... Let's get one of these out of the way first. Let's get the one that's far away from me. I'm going to drop it right on him. That swarm of insects is going to take a bite. So you watch as Caduceus is pulled in, manages to curse them both with his divine power, pulled from the Wild Mother's

darker side of nature, and then holds the staff up through and a burst of insects, beetles, fly out of it. Clouding around, this central slag might begin to assault the opposite side of the creature. Hard to hit. Let's see if I can actually hit, because my two hit is... It is still stunned, so you have advantage on the attack. Oh, wow. All right. That's exciting. It's stunned until...

18 is the highest hit. 18 just hits because of the slow stop. Oh my god! Very soon it's just bite two. So that's, this is a bite attack, which is 44. Hit 10, 44 piercing damage? Yeah. So it's 10 plus 44, I believe.

I think it's just 44. It's 44. Yeah, why does it say 10? I don't know. I think it's 44. Oh, 10 is, why does it say 10? I don't know. 10 is the average. Oh. So that's a six. 49.

79, that's 10. 10 points of damage. The beetles are now biting into the side of this entity. Yep. That finish your turn, Jax? That finishes my turn. All right. I will not try to leave the grapple.

Instead, I will fire a crossbow bolt at this one that has me grappled. You got it. With advantage? Because it's stunned? It is stunned, yes. Oh, not good. Both of them not good. 15. 15 misses. It ricochets off of its rock-like hide. The bolt goes scattered off into the shadow somewhere.

Bonus action fire again? Go for it. Anvil's made of rock as well? Oh, that's weird. They appear to be of similar material, but they have a similar look to them, but they're flexible, so they're probably not as. 28.

28 does hit. Kill it! And it is adjacent, well, it's stunned anyway, so you do get your sneak attack damage on it. Yeah! All the dice. Oh, there's a couple ones. Aw. Okay. Yeah! All the dice. Oh, there's a couple ones.

Okay. Okay, 22. 22? Plus I'll do Fury of the Small, that's another eight, that's 30 points of damage. Boom! 30 points of damage, nice. So as the first bolt ricochets, you see a spark

as the rock-like exterior shoots it off. As it's sitting there, falling with its one eye open, its jaw still chewing on Jester, Jester manages to wedge herself out of its mouth just in time for you to aim the bolt into its throat and it begins to cough a bit of its own blood. That one's looking pretty hurt. Oh, good, good, good, good, good, good. All right, that ends your turn now? That's all I got. Jester, you're up.

Okay, I'm going to cast, I'm going to turn, since that one's letting me go, and I'm going to put my hand towards the other one, and I'm going to say, get the fuck out of my temple, and I'm going to cast Banishment. Oh! Banishment? Banishment? Yeah. You, what?

That's a charisma save. Ooh. Yes. She might be charismatic. Rolled a natural 16. Minus two. So it's a 14. You need a 16 save, so.

All right, so you watch as this guy just vanishes. The tendrils are no longer around you, so none of them are Vanishment! Thank god you didn't take anybody with him. Well, you wouldn't have done that either. You also release from it and the creature's just not there. He'll only be gone for a little bit. We should probably get out of here and also kill this guy, huh? I turn back to the dude that's in front of me.

Because you're still wrapped up by its tendril. Yeah. I can't do anything else, I don't think. That was amazing. Yeah, that's all I can do. All right, Beau, you're up. Yeah, da-bah! That's all I do! It is done until the end of your next turn, I believe, right?

That's the way it works. So you still have advantage on the attacks. Pop. You have disadvantage because you're restrained, so it's just a straight roll for you. I'm still restrained. Cobalt fighting style. I'm going to start with my stick and try and jab it into his eyeball.

Go for it. So wait, straight roll? Yeah, straight roll. I'm going to get rid of all those. Never happen. I don't think it worked. Nope, nope. It's like a 14. 14 misses. OK, OK. You're punching a rock, and it's hurting,

but you're going to get through. Looking for those soft spots. Second attack. Ooh, it was almost a one, and then it was better. And now it's a 19, so it definitely hits. Yes, it hits. OK. That was with my staff, I said.

So it's a d8. Mm-hmm. It's, why? Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage, all right. And do another, and I'm going to re-stun it. Can I do that? Okay, you can.

Stunning Strike. That is an 18. Okay. So it resists. Oh, yeah. All right. Wait, and also, is there anything else it gets from slow for saving throws?

Negative two, a C, and dex save on this. That's minus two to it, so it's a 16. What's your DC for? 14. Yeah, so that resists it. Yeah. Flurry of Blows! Flurry of Blows!

Wait, why do I keep rolling twice? I keep thinking I need to roll twice. Just once! Natural 20! It's so manic, but it's true. I saw it. Doubling the dice. That's a three, plus a six, so that's 11. 11 points of damage on that strike. You jam the staff into the middle of its mouth and prying it open. You get down and see where its eye is trying to keep closed, and the moment it flicks open to be aware of its environment, you're like,. Just poking it right there. Just going for the uvula. Last one. 18.

18 just hits because of the slow spell. Oh yeah! For this one, I'm going to try and grab onto its tongue, because I know a lot of blood vessels in the tongue, and just start trying to rip it off. On its own teeth. Another 11 damage. 11 points of damage.

This thing is not having a great moment. Just say, drop it, drop, drop it. All right, Fjord, you're up. I'll run back up and take two swipes with the Summer's Dance falchion. I really hope you guys kill it before it gets back to its turn. Yeah, me too. First one is a 28, and the second one is a 29. Both hit. Damn, nice. It is no longer stun. That is a ten.

Just straight. Good, because it's no longer stunned, so you do not have advantage in the attack. Nice. Ten plus four is 14 points of slashing damage with four points of necrotic in there from the hex. The second one is eight plus six, 14, 14, plus five points of necrotic for 19 points of damage. How do you want to do this? Yeah! Like a hero.

I run up behind it and take inspiration from a bro, and I go. Du-ba! You see Fjord just holding the pose there for a second. As Beau's holding his tongue, and the tongue comes out. You look past and watch as its eye goes limp, and you watch as it shifts off into three separate pieces. Yeah.

Hey, Fjord. Thank you. You're welcome. We should leave. How long? Not long at all, probably another minute or so, so run. Okay, let's go, let's go. Yeah, let's book. Wait, who's, yeah, we'll heal on the way. Yeah.

All right, so you guys just book it? Do we need to loot the bodies? There's not, it's rocks. Actually, Yasha will run up to Caleb as we're running, and she will do Healing Touch, because she never does that shit to Caleb and put, what is it? Healing Hands, seven points of healing, seven points. She never wastes an action on that. Ropers.

Ropers, man. Is that what they're called? Yep. Yes. We on the move, yeah? Yeah, we're on the move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop. Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

Caleb, do you have any use for this? Come on, Nogget. Nod. What is that? Roper tongue? I'll take that. Just take it out. You can add a roper tongue to your inventory.

To my belly. There you go. That's the other inventory. It's like beef jerky? It's pretty tough. Snap into a Slim Jim. Like octopus. Strangely salty. Z-minerals.

But yeah, so as you guys are rushing up around the edge, you come to, the cavern ends about another 50 or 60 feet up front. Oh. It just ends. Oh, what? This is not the right way. Oh.

Shit. Let's go back and check that water. But if we go back, the thing won't be back. Why don't we just all prepare? I haven't put my insects away, and we can just kill this thing off. Has it been a minute yet? Jester, make a perception check. Oh jeez. I still have a problem with insects.

Yeah, it could be a fucking illusion. I'm, for the moment, going to keep my insects down there, just in case. 12. 12? Okay. You're looking around, and the path, the tracks that you noticed earlier, you guys had figured out, you guys pick up on and see that it is still traveling this direction. You can glance the area, though. The wall itself is this surface of loose rock and stone formations there. Yeah, can I walk up and touch it and see if any of it moves or is different? Following the tracks, there is an area

where it looks like the stones are just loosely there. Part of the wall fell in and covered the interior, but you can pull stones out of it. Yeah, we'll start doing that. Are we going to keep my eyes behind us where we just ran away from? Yeah, same. I'm guilty. So you start pulling stones out and passing them off.

Some are pretty heavy. Yasha's helping. You guys are pulling out one by one. You get a small section of opening available to you. It wasn't a huge collapse. It looks like when it was passing through, it might have bumped into the wall and caused a portion of it to fall in. It's only just the lack of light in here

that's really making it hard to originally even notice this exit. But you get halfway through it before you hear in the room behind you. There's an insect bite. Oh, it's back. Oh, it's back. Is it back to exactly where it was before? Yes. It you. There's an insect bite. Oh, it's back. Is it back to exactly where it was before? Yes.

It's immediately attacked by an insect swarm. Go for it. Okay. Yes. It moves very slow. You glance back in the area and you watch as it goes. It goes 10 feet around, and you're about 100 feet from it around that way.

Good. But it's got a 50-foot reach. It's got about another minute before it gets to the range. 22. 22. 22. 22? That hits. All right. Technically, it's still, no, it's not slowed anymore, because slowed is worn off. It's a minute or a duration.

It's been banished. Right, it's been banished for a minute. Okay. I'm ranged. Magic missiles. Yeah. Go for it. Oh yeah, that's right. We can shoot that.

You can still attack it from a distance. It's about 100, now it's 90 feet from you. 10 points of damage. I'll do the same thing. I'll throw some Eldritch Blast. Go for it. I'm still throwing rocks. I'll shoot an arrow. Yasha and Beau are just moving rocks. Make an athletics check for me. Yasha. Yeah, she's good.

I'll move my hex over onto it. Okay. 11. Okay, so you guys are moving a little fewer out. I'm also going to throw Sacred Flame at it. It hits. It's not within range of Sacred Flame. Oh, it is 60 feet? Okay, I'll just wait.

It's 90 feet from you. 16 points of Eldritch damage. Nice. All right. 12 points of bolt damage. Nice. Guiding bolt. Guiding bolt, go to roll for attack.

Oh no, it's getting closer. I back up a little. Another five feet. All right, that's as far as you can get. You're up against the wall now. 13 points. Oh wait, I didn't roll to attack. I'm an idiot. Yeah, roll to attack for that.

Oh, that definitely hits. 19 plus eight. Yeah, that hits. And then so that was 13 points. 13 points of raid damage, and it's also glowing. The next attack on it has advantage. It moves forward again. It's now 70 feet from you.

I said magic missiles, but I don't have to prepare it, so I'm just going to throw a firebolt at it. All right. Two more elvish blasts. That's an advantage. Two more elvish blasts, go for it. Natural 20. Oh, fuck. Come on. Kill it with cantrips.

That's the way to do it. 18 for me. 21 damage for you, and 18 for me. No, sorry, 21 to hit. 21 to hit, yeah. And 18 damage? 18 total. All right. It's just taking hits and just slowly moving towards you.

It feels like the, was it the old 1950s sci-fi movie with the weird carrot-looking creatures that these are loosely based on visually. This is just a dude in a suit trying to scoot it forward. That's basically, they don't chase very well, ropers. I'm going to carefully aim and fire a gun at it. Nice. I love my pistol.

Okay, go for it. 40 fires, 19 points of damage for necrotic. You got it. Say goodnight, Grimace. This is disadvantage, because it's longer than 30 feet away, right? But it's advantage because the... Nope. No.

Well, no, because you already used the Guiding Bolt, right? So it would be a... Not great. Like 13. 13. There's the burst of powder smoke. You've never fired a firearm. It's still a relatively new technology for most people outside of the main military, and even then, you've never fired a firearm, it's still a relatively new technology

for most people outside of the main military, and even then, they've only been produced in the Metapopperdoop for the past 10 years, so your first time really using this, and yeah, the ringing's in your ears, your hand feels numb from the blowback. Super deft, yeah. Oh, not great. Super deft.

And you watch this ping off the front of it. I don't know what that is, but I don't think you should use it no more. Reload! Is it within 60 feet of us yet? When does the insects get another attack? Not practical at all. Now it's 60 feet.

Toll the dead. Toll the dead. Everybody's just in a line, shaking their heads. Two more elephants blessed. Go for it. Spare the dying. Oh, natural 20! Sorry, Sacred Flame.

Spare the dying. Sacred Flame. Make it live! That is a 15. Nope, 16, so yeah, it's good roll damage. Natural 20 and a 20. Ooh, so both hits, one with a crit. That first attack's a crit.

That crit was a one? Yeah, one plus five. 15 points of damage. All right. That's the worst. Get a crit. It's getting really close. It's going to be able to grapple us again very soon.

Yeah. Very next round. 13 points of Eldritch Blast on the first one, and three, five, eight. 13 points on the second one. Man, that's weird. Okay. Mighty Nein, how do you want to do this?

With vague interest. You Man, that's weird. Okay. Mighty Nein, how do you want to do this? With vague interest. You watch, it's starting to loom forward. No! No! Drop it! Drop it! It just goes blip. It gets really tense for a second, and then really sad.

You're just like, okay. Now that it's dead. I'm now fine. Now that that's dead, I'm going to start doing a ten minute heal for whoever, who needs a heal. I need a heal! I'm going to start a ten minute while you guys dig.

Yeah, she's pulling rocks, Fjord's pulling rocks. I think they were a couple, you guys. I think they were a couple. I think they were married. I think they've been living with me for a long time. They were this wonderful couple. Should we look for their babies? The flintstones. Little rock babies.

Maybe that's why they were mad. Maybe the crystals we took were their rock babies. What if it was their giant baby nest and we broke their babies out? How's that tunnel coming? Not fast enough. Do we have something to help us? At this point in time, you can see Beau and Yasha

have managed to pull enough rocks out of that tunnel to make it large enough for each of you, and Fjord, to squeeze through. You can step through, each of you, and eventually find yourself on the other side, and the burrowed tunnel continues ahead of you into darkness. Who needs healing, by the way?

Okay, so just you two? I think we're the only two that got hurt. Needed a lot, so let's just. Beau, did you get hurt? No. No. What are you doing over there? No, I don't care. 12 points of healing.

Did I mention I'm a monk? I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself as well, at the second level. Hmm. Well, we only have about another two weeks of walking before we get to the house. Yeah, no joke. Unless you make us a wagon with paint,

and also horses. And pavement. Because? Yeah, no joke. Unless you make us like a wagon with paint and also horses. And pavement. And pavement. What about bicycles? You could paint eight bicycles. Nobody knows what that is. It's a weird dream I have.

Strange gnomish engineering that's still in the early development stages. The double unicycle. I don't think there's anything that would really help us down here that we could take. We could do one of you magic-y people have some way of, next time we see a monster, instead of killing it,

we could command it to carry us or something. We could command it to carry us. We could ask it politely to carry us. Yeah, I actually do have the ability to command things, but they have to be able to understand me. And I just, you know, I didn't think that those rock things probably spoke our language. We never use the magic words to be fair.

You know, we could've said pretty please. Please, thank you, it gets you so far. You don't know. I could try it. Next time. Next time. Okay. On we go. You press forward, okay.

Continuing down the familiar, monotonous carved tunnel. You go ahead and, if you're keeping, same order, go ahead and make your perception checks, just keeping a watch out front. Dancing light is up. Ooh! Okay. 24. 24, nice. You move on for the remainder of the day

before getting to a point where you're starting to get a little tired, and you figure either a rest, you can continue to push on if you want to, but you'll begin to push into possible exhaustion territory. But you've now hit what would be a full day's worth of travel, and this Barrowed Tunnel continues on. You've found one chamber and then passed it, so at least you know there's probably more to come in the level you are currently traveling in, but this day's travel after that last encounter, you have not found another chamber. I haven't seen any form of writing,

no offshoots, nothing like that? Nope. But the good news is, as long as you have this tunnel, you know at least you're probably on the right track. So if you want, I can stone shape, I can push us in. Yeah, same. I'm going to carve a hole for about the size of what we need, so that we can be pressed into the wall.

Okay. And the width of that is? Oh, it's, hold on a second. How big is that? Let me tell you. It might be too big for me to carve. I think it might be a bit long to carve the whole thing. I can't remember. Almost there.

That might be, I could probably. 10-foot radius, yeah. 10-foot radius, yeah. So you can carve part of it. Yeah. And it'll still be partially exposed, but he can color it as he wants, and with the stone, it'll help somewhat camouflage it.

Nothing can get to Rick anyway. Got it. All right. We'll repeat everything, and I will send Frumpkin up ahead of us 50 feet to stay up all night. All right. He's got to come run back in. Another long rest.

So you guys go ahead and spend the evening, another long rest, go ahead and roll perception for Frumpkin for the evening, if you don't mind. I'm going to cast Sending. Okay. I'm going to cast Sending for Yeza. And I'm going to say, it's me again. Can you let us know if you've been on the move?

Or if you're staying in the same place? Out of the tunnel. Are you in the tunnel still? Are you in the tunnel? Okay. There's a brief pause. Nala, they just have me in a room. We haven't been traveling underground since we got out.

But they have me in the city now. Why'd you say shit? What's going on? He's already in the city. We're not going to be able to ambush them, you guys. Okay, well, we'll come up with another plan. You guys are smart. Yeah, and there wasn't much of an ambush we could do anyway. It's one way in, one way out. It'll be fine. It's more information, which is always good.

Yeah. Let's go to sleep so we can start early in the morning. Perception for Frumpkin? 17. 17, good enough. The evening goes by. Frumpkin does notice, throughout the evening, some movement through the tunnel. A strange creature similar to the,

what seemed to be the stalagmite-type roper creatures you had fought before, but a little smaller, scooting along the ceiling. It made it through the tunnel, over top of you guys, and then just continued on without noticing or caring about the location where you had placed and camouflaged your evening's rest. Nice.

Next morning comes two. You continue traveling. All right. Giving a watch out. Laura, go ahead and please, just roll your perception check. It's a long subterranean journey for me doing day-to-day here, I'm sorry. Oof. Barf. Wow.

That's a bad one. Eight. Eight, okay. You've got a keen eye out there in front of you. Sorry, guys. I don't know really well the answer to that, though. This day is the hardest so far, because it is an entire eight-plus hours of just winding tunnel. Once again, that continuous pace. It seems to dip at times, then it picks up. It has its own organic shifting to it in small bits, but it is just a day of travel of that same 10-foot wide continuous tunnel. It is maddening. 66 bottles of beer on the wall, 66 bottles of beer.

Take one down, pass it around, 65 bottles of beer on the wall, 21 bottles of beer on the wall. Also, all throughout the day, once an hour, Caleb says, It's two o'clock. Shut up! And he goes, Bye'clock. Shut up! And he goes by. Perfect.

Shut up! It's three o'clock. No. You know, if you're going to do those, maybe put some chimes behind it so you can be like a bell tower. I use my cryptometry every time he says it to make the bing bong noise.

An hour later. Ding dong, ding dong. It's four o'clock. All right. That day's travel goes by uneventful. So day three's done. Do you guys set up camp once more here in the tunnel? Same deal. Yep, same.

I'm going to send a message to Yeza. Okay. Smeaghan. Smee, one word, S apostrophe, Amy? For sure. S's me again. Is me one word, S apostrophe, in me? Yeah, for sure. It's me again. I think so. How long were you in these tunnels, do you know? How do you feel?

We're on the way. Your wife misses you a lot. She loves you. She loves. Shit. Not that man I used to. I had three left. Shit, she loves. She does. She loves. She loves a lot. I'm roughly counting. It's hard to do. All you hear is, I can't.

Oh no. What's the oh no? What is that? That's even worse than Oh no. What was that? What's the oh no? What is that? That's even worse than no shit. What is that? I just think somebody was, he wasn't alone this time and he couldn't respond as well. Was he okay? Yeah, he just said, I can't, and so I was like,

oh, okay, that's all. I can't breathe, I can't live anymore? No, he's like, I can't talk to you. He basically said, I can't talk to you right now, I'm busy. I can't floss. There's all sorts of things people can't do to you. He basically said, I can't talk to you right now. I'm busy. I can't floss. There's all sorts of things people can't do. I think he was in the middle of dinner.

Oh yeah, I can't do all sorts of things in a meeting. Yeah. It'll be okay, Nott. It'll be okay. I know, I know. We'll find him. Nott, I have to say, I've been feeling pretty bad hearing that you drowned previously.

I want to apologize for making you face your fear over and over again. No, I've been giving you some shit, and as someone who has experienced the same thing, I commend you for your bravery. Experienced the same thing, you've drowned? Yeah. Oh, that's right. That's cool, don't worry about it, yeah.

Well, you didn't know, how would you have known? No, but thank you all the same. You took a lot of courage to go in. I was not very helpful in that regard, either. And you did not tell us what was going on, why would you? And you still went in for a long time, so sorry. No, no, it's all right. I'm sorry that I wasn't more helpful

in that earlier fight when I sort of panicked and didn't go in the water. But, you know, it's not so bad if you're down in the water with your friends. Oh. It's nine o'clock. Fuck you! Your people did this to us! So you settle in for your third evening here underground. Oh shit.

So you settle in for your third evening here underground. Ooh, I'm going to use a spell. I assume they've been making food for us and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would hope so, because your provisions are going to run out pretty quickly otherwise. Sure, maybe. Yeah, no, I had a bit of a taste.

Sweet mac and cheese. Sure. Divine mac and cheese. Sure. Divine mac and cheese. Mm-hmm. Fucking lumbus bread. Yeah, it doesn't taste divine, just is divine. Yeah. I can't do the spell I was going to do

because I forgot I don't have a repair, but maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow. All right. So same setup. Evening's rest, Frumpkin's keeping watch. Go ahead and roll a perception check for Frumpkin. Six. Six, okay, good to know. So as the evening goes on, Frumpkin doesn't notice anything.

That's a good cat. You wake up. That was cute. Your fourth day begins. You gather your things and continue to trek even further into this single, perpetual tunnel. Hey, hey, guys. Just saying, if we're going to be underground in a blank, boring, shithole tunnel for a whole nother day.

I still have some of these mushrooms left over from Mollymauk. You're past the time. I just don't make it fun. Wow, really? Now? I'm real bored. It's super dark. Lives could be in jeopardy at any moment,

and you want a trip? Yeah, it's true. If those conehead thingies come out again, I don't want any of you not being aware of what's happening. I'm just so bored. Yeah. You're bored? Yeah. Really?

Look at this. And Frumpkin gets up onto hind legs and does a little. Oh, but you know what we could do? Here, take this. I'm going to give her the smutty book that you gave me just recently. Wait, wait, wait! Read it out loud.

Okay. Why do you do these things? Now we can all have entertainment while we're walking. It's like listening to a podcast when you drive to work. And it already starts good, you guys. Support for this book. It was a glistening night. Oh crap. A glistening night.

The snow fell on the winding paths. Just like the paths we're on. It was chilly. She could feel her nipples getting hard. It starts so soon, it starts so soon! I mean, it really, normally it doesn't take, but this one. Constitution saving throw! That's just an overall penalty to stealth.

I keep reading. Is there anything on the ceiling as I awkwardly stare up at it? You and Jester both make perception checks. Oh, I was kidding. As she felt the warmth of the fire, she could feel his warm touch. Shut up, it was good.

I'm paying attention, though. Around what? Around her waist? 17. What the fuck's what? As his strong, burly, hairy arms wraps around his waist, she can feel her breath leaving her bodice. This is so good, Jester. I know! Thank you, Caleb.

Yes. So Fjord, at this point, trying to ignore that and facing Fjord as you continue in, the path, this protracted tunnel, you begin to notice smaller tunnels intersecting with it. Like on the sides or up higher? Like one on the side, one a little higher.

Up in front of us? I'm going to, while I'm listening to Beau, I'm going to fold my arms so no one can see the shape of my nipples right now. All right. You know, you are a very good reader. You give it a lot of character. Thanks.

As she reached down to the pillow. Man, I hate to interrupt. You know, we have some divergent pathways ahead. How big are they? You look up and you can see they're maybe about two, three feet wide each. From what you can see, the entrance to them, to the first one on the right,

that's on the right side, a lot of dirt and rock has been pushed into it. It's closed off. You walk up to the second one, it's a little more up on the left, higher range of it, and you can see there are bits of stone and dirt that have fallen out and created a small pile

on the ground beneath it. Yeah. Do they bear any resemblance to the giant hole that we were following? No, no. You want to send that cat of yours about 50 feet behind us? Oh, behind us? Yeah, just in case. Caduceus can take the front. You, who have been so distracted by the reading of the book, hear nothing.

Looks like two of those had stuff pushed into it. That one looks like something came out of it. Wouldn't maybe, if you were traveling these caves, you would have capped them because of things that kept popping out of the wall. Caleb, looking at this, you figure these tunnels existed before this burrowing happened. It looks like when this worm came through, it tore through whatever these tunnels were and pushed shit into them and wrecked

a little bit of this tunnel structure. That one came into this one, though, after the big guy came through. What? That's funny, that was exactly what was about to happen. I'm going to, I bookmarked it. Caduceus, go look up front! Jesus, god.

He can't see in the dark. I've got a light. Does it look like these were, I'm going to go up to one and examine it. Do I hear anything? Do I see any scrapings in the inside? Make a perception check. Eh, it's 15.

15? Listening in, looking up there, you don't see anything. On the right, you don't see anything, you don't hear anything. These markings on the interior of it? You do notice some markings, little quick cuts in the dirt or stone, hand or claw marks dragged across bits of it. Small. Something burrowed.

You see the pile of rocks and dirt that have fallen on the top, and you glance over and you can see what looks to be something somewhat shiny that's somewhat picking up the light from your globe. I'm going to just clean it off a bit? It looks like a hammer. But it's not well taken care of, per se. You pick up your nose, speaks up a little bit of the air here. It smells somewhat rancid a little bit, just a faint hint of rot. Anything behind us? I'm worried about the things around us.

How high off of the ground is that hole? It's about ten feet up. Just ten feet? The whole tunnel is one big ten-foot, side to side. I'm going to clear away a little bit more. Is the hammer, is there a body underneath this pile? No body. Just a hammer? Yeah, just a discarded tool.

Take a look at the hammer. It's a hammer? Yeah, just a discarded tool. Take a look at the hammer. It's a hammer. It looks like it's seen a lot of use. The metal's wrecked a little bit in places and bludgeoned and misused. I think someone got grabbed. Are the rocks around here dug out like someone was digging? Go ahead and make an investigation check.

28. 28. They have been dug, and you see signs that they were dug out by hand and dug out by shovel, or some sort of a tool used for digging. From above, or from? From above on the side. You get the sense that one that opens up here. Was the entry?

Connected to the other one. This tunnel was burrowed in the middle and took out that connecting point. I have a crazy idea. What, that we could be under the Ashkeeper Peaks and these are mining tunnels? Well, no. That's great. He just wanted to play Parcheesi. and these are mining tunnels? Well, no, that's really, that's great. He just wanted to play Parcheesi. What were you thinking, Caduceus? I think that this was some sort of pathway,

and maybe this closed off pathway here is possibly the way to go, I don't know. I feel like this is maybe, we might have found a way of sneaking into where we're going. Is there any remnants of precious metals, holes, things that would be mined? Looking around here, most of it just appears to be carved stone and dirt.

If anyone doesn't mind, I can just pull out my shovel and start working on this. I think we're dead under this mountain peak, right? One, two, three, four, five. I mean, we're like this blocked off path that just got bisected. So we could go up to get out if we wanted to get out. Or we could go down this way,

because I don't think there's that much dirt in this. Well, someone continues, also. Yeah. So it's up to you guys. So we can bail if we wanted to, perhaps. Would I know the exact kind of boundary line of Xhorhas between the Empire? Do they use the mountains? I mean, the Ashkeeper Peaks are what divides the two,

sides of eastern and western Rhinandir, yeah. See the light? Might as well see where this thing goes. We can keep going. We could just go see the sun for a couple hours, get some vitamin D, and then come back downtown. If we're under the mountains, it could be a long way up,

and we don't know what those mountains look like. I mean, I don't know. It also could be fall and temperate and beautiful. There could be pigeons on the mountaintop. Edible pigeons? Is there another kind? No. I read scary books when I was little about these creatures that lived in the mountains that were see-through because they lived underground for so long, but they had really long

claws and they would snatch up babies. Not helping. I'm going to start trotting to see how deep this cap on this bottom one goes. It's a couple feet deep, and the rest of the tunnel goes beyond. For you, Caduceus, it's a tight squeeze. We're talking like Bishop and aliens getting through the tunnel. I'm taking a look in there. Do I feel any wind, anything? No. It's just stagnant air.

Yeah, there's no breeze in here, no. If we go up topside, what are the possible benefits of doing that? Well, not going to Xhorhas and getting murdered by far greater forces, but I think we're going to Xhorhas. We could go up and maybe find a horse or something and coax it down here to take us faster. A horse on the top of the mountain?

I don't know if this miner fellow who was eaten alive left a couple horses tied up there. Why would he leave horses on top of a mountain? Why would you bring them into the mountain? You would leave them tied up on top. What if it's not a miner from the top? What if it's one of the creatures that I was talking about and this is his hammer

and the title actually- The worm's hammer? No, what if it's a of the creatures that I was talking about and this is his hammer and the tunnel actually. The worm's hammer? No, what if it's like a creature that lives in the mountain and he's got the hammer and you know, one of these tunnels just leads to his village under the mountain and it's a whole village of scary people that's going to attack us as soon as we. Caduceus, cast Talk to Objects. Ask the hammer.

There is really only one reason. There is only one reason to use the side tunnels. Who is your owner? To leave. You can do that anywhere. The hammer is very obstinate, but I would imagine that's expected of a hammer. I'm not going to say it wasn't worth a try. I would have been surprised, but I would have been delighted as well. Do we have any real positives for going up? I honestly can't think of any. Only if we wanted to give up, which we're not doing.

I missed the sun, but I can live. Here's the other thing, though. Sorry, I'm dying at the hammer. This is arguably going to lead to a nexus, right? Like an entry point? Yeah. So what's on the other side? to lead to a nexus, right? Like an entry point? Yeah. So what's on the other side?

Did they build a military base around the entrance to this tunnel system, and is that what we're about to walk into? Or do we want to try one of these smaller tunnels that nobody cares about? If we keep following this, is it going to lead us? There's no way to know. There's no way to know. Yeah, no, I know. I was just throwing it out there.

How far can Frumpkin go? Actually, that's a good idea. Can we send Frumpkin down one of these tiny tunnels? Quite a ways, but if he gets too far away, I no longer have the ability to communicate with him. How about just to that edge, then? Yeah, okay. Cool, cool. I no longer have the ability to communicate with him. How about just to that edge, then? Yeah, okay. Cool, cool. Okay, so you send Frumpkin ahead?

Sure. All right, roll a perception check for Frumpkin. Okay. In the dark. Right, so disadvantage on the... Yeah, but advantage with smell if there's anything stinky. Okay, good. Wait, wait, wait.

I have an idea. What's your idea? What if I cast daylight, we could tie a ribbon around Frumpkin's neck, I cast daylight on his neck, on the ribbon, and then he can see wherever he goes. I can just cast light on the ribbon, too, so you don't have to burn his head. Hey, that's better than that. Cast light on something tied to Frumpkin's neck. Pick a ribbon off my horn and wrap it around Frumpkin's neck. That's a good idea.

But put the ribbon on the back side so it's not, like, you know, right in his eyes. Okay, so you tie the ribbon around Frumpkin's neck. You cast Light, and now the ribbon gives off this torchlight glow from the back of Frumpkin. For the first 10 seconds, Frumpkin just goes. Get it off, get it off, get it off.

Back out of it, back away. Get it off. But gets used to it. Right. And then trots off. All right, so now roll a straight perception roll for Frumpkin. Well, I did, I rolled twice, so it was a 16 perception.

16, okay. So Frumpkin continues on. 50 feet. 50 feet. 80 feet. Boop. About another 100 feet or so, there's another tunnel intersection that gets breached by this carving path. Then about 130 feet or so, another chamber opens up. This chamber is about 40 foot by 80

foot, and the smell here is strong. Frumpkin picks up on it. It smells of rot, mildew, feces. It's not a pleasant smell. There are piles of refuse and furs and utensils and belts and odd objects that are thrown into piles here. You can see a number of other tunnels that all intersect into this area. Is there any immediate reaction to a glowing cat entering to this big chamber?

Nope. Nope. Maybe roll back and try one of these smaller tunnels also just to quickly see what's a few feet down, maybe? I can't hear anybody. I mean, it seems like the thing to do. He can't hear us. What? Oh, Caduceus. Yeah. He can't hear us. What? Oh, Caduceus. Yeah. He can't hear us when he's doing these things.

Really? How many chambers? Is it just you or anything? What looks to be maybe 10 or so different tunnels that lead into this chamber. All ranging between two feet wide to about three feet wide. I'm just watching. I can no longer send commands. I can only go onto the ride to watch.

Am I seeing anything like send commands, I can only go onto the ride to watch. Am I seeing anything like mining equipment? You see what looks to be a small broken shovel. You can see there are piles of dirt, bones, coins. Looks like a lot of things that have been gathered. You can see worked pieces of wood that are partially whittled and then abandoned in the moment. Stacks of... It looks like a bunch of junk.

Okay, so... Frumpkin hears what looks to be a small growl. And looks, and in the far right corner, there's a small cage. In the cage, it looks like there's some sort of a furred creature, no more than that big or so, that's missing tufts of fur. It's just in the cage going.

Okay, I leave him there and come out of it. What's it? Well, it's a good walk a ways, and then there is a larger chamber with many different exits to it, and my good boy saw some sort of creature in a cage. Like how big of a creature? Well. Did it seem, like, cute?

Hard to tell. You said there was a lot of entrances and exits to this place? Yeah. Somewhere. Did it seem cute? A hot hotel. You said there was a lot of entrances and exits to this place? Yeah. The platform is like, the topography of the inside, it's not just a perfectly oval thing. It has a bunch of pieces of rock and stone and levels where these tunnels are emerging and appearing.

We know that the Kreeks have been making many attacks, so maybe this is where they go, this is Grand Central, and then they shoot off to different places to attack. Well, this is an old abandoned place. You know, I don't know what the right thing to do is, because if we keep following this tunnel, we are going to just, we could roll right up into their backyard where they ended their journey,

walk right into them. However, if we don't really know where this place is going, we don't know how far it is from where your husband is going to be, we don't know what dangers are above us, however, we could come in and try to find him not walking directly into their line of sight, right into their face, or their butt, or what have you. I don't know what the right thing to do is.

I don't either. My two cents. They, I think, think they did a pretty good job of closing up these tunnels, right? Made it so that the average Joe or even someone able-bodied would be unable to follow them. I think this is probably the last place they think someone would come from.

Above ground, pretty sure they're covered. Makes sense. That's a good point. That's a good point. I just wish we knew what these things were. I would've loved to explore some of these. They're small, right? They're small tunnels. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're already dealing

with a two-body width tunnel as it is. I don't want to shrink it down any lower and really be fucked. My thought is we could send the cat up and down really quick and just take a look. Send the cat? We have a cat, we can just send down the smaller tunnel really quick.

I don't know why we don't just. We did. That is what we're doing. We sent the cat through down the big tunnel. Yeah, the cat continued down the big tunnel and found that other chamber. We didn't check the timing. The tunnel continues past that chamber. I thought the cat went up the small.

Me too. I had a funny feeling. No, no, no, this was Frumpkin going ahead on the tunnel you guys were traveling and found that other chamber, and the tunnel continues on the other side of that chamber. We didn't take the side. Just confusion, that's fine.

Yeah, I said about the small one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking. Well, he knows to come back in five minutes if he does not hear from me, so we have to wait. Yep, Funkin returns. I'd say the downward one, just a quick look, not too far down, top one, quick look, not too far up. Yeah, go to the little ones.

Okay. Funkin heads into the small side tunnel, curves around about 20 or so feet, and then it opens up into another small chamber. What Frumpkin sees is a 10 by 15 foot opening area with a pile of matted material, like cloth.

It may have been at one point, but it's kind of soiled. And you see two figures kind of sitting there. One of them is in the process of fitting something together or pulling something apart. And the other is currently gnawing on what looks to be some sort of a long, dried bone. They're tiny humanoid, longer snout, tails, scaly skin,

kind of, I would say, lizard, or almost dragon-like, but very tiny. They're both sitting in their spears set to the side. Yeah, about how far away from you has Frumpkin gone at this point? About 30 or so feet. Pull him back. I don't know if they saw him or not. He is glowing. Mm-hmm. Last thing Frumpkin sees is them go. Little lizard people turn that way, and they saw my cat. You can go. Little lizard people come that way, and they saw my cat.

I'd rather them see us now. I'll run up and push myself up against the wall, against where the tunnel is, just in case they decide to come out that way. I will take the other side of it and do the same thing. Okay, you guys all head and split at the sides. Do we hear any movement coming from the tunnel? You hear like a.

You see a spearhead slowly emerge from the tunnel, and its head poked out ever so slightly. Make stealth checks, guys, by the way, because this is not going to see it. Can I pass out a treasure to all of us when we were hiding? Is that okay? I'll say a straight stealth check on this one. This happened too quickly.

May I use my cloak? Yeah, your cloak affects any stealth check you make for the most part. Yasha rolled a six. Cool. Fjord rolled a 15. 17. All right.

Caleb? 17. 21. Eight. 20. Okay. I don't think it spells a lot. It pokes its head out. It looks right over towards Fjord and goes,

I'm out. I reach down and grab this bear naked out of its hands. What are you? The one behind it looks at him and goes, and turns around and runs down the hall. I pull out a small little stone pyramid in my hand and mutter a few words and then cast Tongues and speak to this little thing.

All right, well, as you're casting the spell, you hear the one that ran back and all of them go like, Oh no. Oh jeez. You begin to hear this echoing sound of lots of claws scurrying their way through the nearby tunnel. No, no. And that's where we're going to take a break.

Oh no! We got to get both out of them. Talk to him, tell him we're friends. Stop that. So we'll come back here in just a moment to pick up from there. Did I hear something like, We've got to get both out of them. Talk to him, tell him we're friends. So we'll come back here in just a moment to pick up from there. Did I hear something like,

Lord, get these motherfuckers out of here! As you were casting the spell, the sound happens, so it's finished, and when we come back, I'll begin to give you the idea of what you're beginning to hear. So we'll be back here in a few minutes from break. As part of our giveaway, we have these really, really cool custom Valentine's Day dice vaults

here. You can pick up your own special vault, which are customized with five wood and inlay options, and your own message is translated in Elvish, which you can see there. They'll arrive before Valentine's Day if you order before February 7th, so we've got to get to that soon. We're giving away these two tonight, two lucky winners. The keyword for this is underground. One word, underground. So come on over to the Critical Role Twitch chat, that's twitch.tv slash Critical Role.

Enter the word underground once, more than once you'll be disqualified, and we'll come back with winners. This is only good, of course, in the United States and Canada, excluding Quebec. But yeah, we'll see you guys here in a few minutes. We interrupt this Critical Role Podcast Network broadcast to bring you news of dangerous treasures that lie sealed within the Critical Role shops.

Only the heartiest of adventurers should dare seek them out. In all seriousness, though, I'm Matthew Mercer, and we've made some very cool things that we really like and hope you will, too. If you'd like to support the show, please consider visiting any of our Critical Role online shops through the Shop tab at critrole.com and see if anything catches your eye. Okay, back to the show. Hello, everyone, and welcome back.

So we have our two winners for the two dice vaults. We have the first winner is Rikimaru! Rikimaru! Yeah, Rikimaru! The second one appears to be 2R0, M0C0. Congratulations, you. Username. We'll get you guys your successful wins soon. Before I forget, I was going to mention it beforehand,

but I totally forgot. For those who don't know, there's a Rick and Morty versus the Endless and Dragons comic book. Yes! They just released the fourth and final issue. It's written by our friend of the show, Rattric Rothfuss. I remember from campaign one.

Rattric Rothfuss. Patrick Rothfuss. Patrick Rothfuss. Extraordinaire. Yeah. Draw my Jims up. It's a great team and a number of people from the community make little cameos in it.

Our friend and love of all D&D, Chris Perkins is in it, Satine's in it. Apparently I'm in this issue? Which is kind of nuts. Yeah. So yeah, it's pretty awesome. You should check it out if you have the opportunity. All right. It's pretty great. It's pretty awesome. Gary Gygax's ghost says a fun phrase. Same's pretty great. It's pretty awesome.

Gary Gygax's ghost says a fun phrase. Same page as you. Indeed. So, anyway, getting back into the insanity, you had just grabbed the spear from a nearby kobold as the other one rushed off. I would like for you to make a strength check, please. Oh, good.

This is my forte these days. You were just lifting so many pebbles, you'll be great. My, yeah. 11. Woo! I guessed a tiny little thing. No.

You grab its spear and it goes and pulls it back from you. As you hear the mounting skittering of numerous creatures now coming from behind where you were. Mother. And from the nearby tunnels. What are you guys doing? Wait, just specify, from up where Frumpkin just was,

from that direction or multiple directions? Multiple directions, like behind me. They're in the honeycombs in the ceiling, right? Apparently. Yeah. I cast Disguise Elven, made myself look like a giant, one of them. Aw, man, not again. We should run, we should go.

Let's head to the top of the main room. Just run forward. What? All right, so as you're casting the spell and transforming into a larger kobold, you start rushing forward. Are you guys all heading forward with Fjord? I will head forward, but power walking like a badass,

kind of strolling behind, in case I want to deck some kobolds in the face. Okay. So as you guys charge forward around the corner into the next chamber, that chamber has about 20 or so kobolds that have emerged from, or in the process of emerging from the different tunnels,

that are all facing your direction with small, looked up dinged blades, and crossbows that look like they might work, spears, and small leather and wood shields, and they're all just filled the chamber in front of you going. They're holding the line. What are you doing?

We have come to speak. I say in whatever language I now understand and speak. I'm going to augment that. I act like I'm saying it. I made it very clear and held my hand. Yeah, so there's definitely a confused vision and attention here. They're like. World of magic and mystery.

I can hear you. We have come through to chase a large serpent through these caves and eradicate it. The ones behind Beau, as you're strolling up and he's shouting this out, there are about 10 or so kobolds that begin to rush up from behind and they see you're strolling up and he's shouting this out, there are about 10 or so kobolds that begin to rush up from behind, and they see you, and they slow their step

and start taking their spears and prodding you to join the rest of the people. Also tell them that I'm their god. Tell them that I'm their god. Easy. There's one in the center. You can see of all of them that are there, there's one that is covered in cages

and boxes and leather straps. There's another that has heavy pieces of armor, almost weighing him down. You see others that look like skirmishers that are all gathered around, and they all have this growling, barking energy. You can see they look a bit hungry, a bit sallow. The one that's in the full armor steps forward

towards you and you, and is looking back and forth and gives you this curious look. We are here, looking for a scourge in these mountains. Oh boy. We mean you no harm? We wish to pass through? You hear him saying, draconic, Come forth, loud meal. Nice. Draconic.

Oh god, I was trying to make it look like I was talking, Caleb. There are a number that are staring at you in half awe. Deity. And Draconic saying, but well, through the spell, I am one meal, but my friends can make more food than me. I am. Do you approach? I take two steps forward. All right, make a dexterity saving throw. Okay.

What, why, though? That's two steps forward, that's an 11. 11. As you're saying this with intensity and force, you guys watch as suddenly there's a cloud of dust around his ankles, and a rope loop of some kind wraps and pulls your legs together and hoists you up, and you're now dangling

off the ground, about three, four feet off the ground. I only take this as a minor setback. You can feel it. At which point, all the kobolds, this large wave of cackles. The one raises his hand up, and they all get quiet. And goes, That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny.

You! Round fog! Points to the rest of you. You're a pest! Yep, as your hair's dripping there, you slowly coat up. Yep. Just following you with this nasty-looking short sword that looks like Just coat up. Yes. Yeah. Looks like his arms.

Following you with this nasty-looking short sword that looks like the edges of it are grimed up with black oil or something. You do not want to tangle with the spirits I command, and I snap my fingers and Frumpkin appears, and four globules of light float in a circle around Frumpkin. Takes a step back, make an intimidation check.

Upside down. You had the spirit of the Maine Coon. Intimidation, that's a 19. A 19. He who summoned Kitty Spirit. You will be cursed for decades. We already cursed! What does it take?

You in not position. You in that position. So you give one to feed or trade for food? Well. He's looking at you like he's making this challenge to you, but is definitely keeping a distance and has taken a step back from where he was standing so confidently in your direction.

You expect me to hand over one of my own? Yes! This cat will burn you, burn you all. He sounds very intimidating. I heard that, right? Yeah, you'd be like, I'm going to. No, it's, well, I don't know.

I'm speaking through a spell, so. Looking at the specifics of tongues. Tongues. Any creature that knows at least one language can hear and understand it. So it's not so much that you're speaking Draconic, but any creature that knows language can understand you. So we're all on the same page.

Oh, that's excellent. We can make food. We can understand them, but we can understand you. Actually, strangely enough, it's speaking in broken common. Oh. Well, I mean, we can make some food, I suppose, or we can let the cat have his way. Is there any way I can just add a thaumaturgy effect to the cat really quickly? How so? What do you want to enhance? I want the ground around the cat to shake gently

and start having a minor earthquake effect. Okay. Frumpkin stands and does that little. As Frumpkin does that and the rocks shake and tumble around, the small quaking noise, about six of the nearby kobolds go and start skidding away from it, holding their weapons at bay, two of them in the tunnels.

All of a sudden go and just climb up in the tunnels and vanish. We have food, though. Yes, little me's, we have food for you. Worship me. I am your leader. Make a deception check. I am your leader. Oh lord. 12. I am your leader. Oh lord. 12!

You see two of them begin to reach towards you. Yes! The one in the full armor goes, no, pay attention! And slaps him with his spear and they. How about the food? We bring food for you. Tate! We'll need containers. Do you have a pot, a couple pots? Big containers.

Zymu! He points to one in the area, and you see this one kobold that's covered in rags. It looks like the Collector Lady from Labyrinth, and just pulls out what looks to be this large, billowing leather sack that's stained of all sorts of colors around its base. It holds it up, its jaws slightly dislodged on one side and gives it this crooked grin to its face. Holds it open. Do you have one more? I can do two, if you've got two. I can do water also. Do you care about water? I can do water. We have water!

That's fair. Feel food! Okay, I'm going to take a little piece of fungus off the stick and I'm going to put it in there and I'm going to start casting Create Food and Water and it's going to suddenly become 45 pounds of food. The thing all of a sudden slams into the ground. The heavy weight from the summoned meal just hitting the heavy rock floor. As soon as that, Kobold leans forward,

pulled off of his feet, and manages to stumble into it and look inside. He needs to shovel it. The leader goes, stop! Wait! It's good. That's good. That's good. Two may pass.

More food for trade rest. The Fae King is growing angry with you. And the globules of light start to spin a little quicker. A little more thunder. Two and the Faeaking can also pass! What about the leader? Your leader, can I go? The others are nervously looking towards the other, and you see him feeling really intimidated by your presence. There's this idea of him being the head of this sect and you

storming in here, and he's just this jealous intensity as it stares towards you and goes, Do not listen! Why are you coming? I came because I'm a really good friend of yours. I'm a leader here. Also, I just wanted to go through with my friends. False leader may go as well! Yes! We have two gator skins in the Bag of Holding.

What? A gator? Yeah, are you interested in gator? It's like real tough leather. I bet you could use it as some I don't think they'd be interested. It's way too nice for them. I don't think that they're really interested. You can see four of their mouths just watering as you're describing. That's so expensive and difficult to come by in this part of the world. It's so rare.

Maybe it's better we just hold on. We certainly don't want to give it up. Give us gator skin! Well, well. I could maybe part with one for the rest of us. No! All of it! Well, all right.

Pull out two gator skins. My friends will have to be able to go on their way. Mr. Fjord, are you sure? I mean, I hate to. They're worth a fortune, and boy, the protection that they yield. Mmm, doggie. I kill you. Okay. Puts it over the side pouch of one of the other ones, carries it. Is that both of them?

Yep. That's all of us then, huh? We can go then? Yep, there was the two, and then the other two, and then the king and the leader. And then the leader, and then we had the friends with the... I'm only a half, really. I'm a half. And then the guy that's hanging, that's important to... I think that's half of the next person

who comes through at that point. Definitely. One of them sits forward and goes, I think that is a. I'm making number! I can also offer you this. I have a pouch of smoking tobacco. You could smoke this and it will make you forget your troubles.

It leans forward towards you, giving a look, goes, Goblin! Yes. Make a persuasion check. 17. Wow. Takes the 17. Hmm. Wow. Takes the pouch from you.

No, no, don't eat it. It's for smoking, really. You can eat it. You can eat it. Accept it. All right. Takes him places in the pouch. Yeah. When he sees it, shouts, you being able to recognize, saying, All right, let them pass!

I jump down and take out one of my shurikens and chop Caleb free. Like a sack of potatoes. Is that 1d6? From that height, yeah. That would be four points of bludgeoning damage. Oh jeez. I'm just making sure nobody's tried to, I've been trying to keep an eye out. Yeah, I don't want them ganking our stuff. Nobody's tried to gank anything, right?

I've got my hands on our stuff the whole time. Okay. You're keeping watch, and if you do get close, and they're definitely eyeing the various trinkets that dangle from your belts, but as any of them start getting close, you grab it and pull back. The leader goes like, Go! Follow path of big worm! Make big mess! Go! Nugget, come on! Wait, a path of big one? Make big mess? Oh yeah, question about that. Did you see how many of them there were with the big worm? Just looking at you angrily. The guys that with the big worm?

Just looking at you angrily. The guys that made the big mess? Big mess moved through. No longer here. How long ago, do you know? Nice weeks. Did it seem like a lot of people? Very loud. Ruin tunnel! How big was the worm?

Very big. They're very small, though, so in relation to them. Destruits. Ask them if they've been all the way to the end of the... You can ask them. They understand us. Have you been all the way to the end of Big Mask Tunnel? No, no go.

Why not? Stay here, huh? Get food from you. That is fair. Do you know who is caged up away down this tunnel? What? He points over to the small cage,

the little creature, you mean? Oh, it's in this room? Yeah, because we ran forward. You ran forward in that chamber. Oh, I see, got it. Yeah, what is in the cage? Who is this one? What's up? It's food. No That chamber, got it. Yeah, what is in the cage? Who is this one?

It's food! No, don't eat it! Is it cute or not? It's pretty ragged. What is it? Are we going to pass judgment on this thing? Come on! Let's just keep going, this turn is why not.

Is it locked or is it just shut? From this distance, it looks closed. If you rescued this thing, could it be cute ever? With a little TLC, maybe. I mean, we shouldn't let it just die. You're not even sure what kind of creature it is. It resembles a squirrel, resembles a small dog, but it's greasy and ratty.

Trade your dog for it. I'm not going to trade Trade your dog for it. I'm not going to trade Nugget for it, no. No. Are we going to be walking within 30 feet of that cage? No. Most likely, yeah. Okay, cool.

I tell you what. What are you up to? Do you want this, Kujo? I mean, I don't want to suffer in a cage, Caleb. I will make one last offering to you. I will give you the Fey King in exchange for this creature here. The cat? No, you can't!

Make a deception check. I know where you're going with this. Deception, you said? Yes. 16. 16. I'm going to be running, you said? Yes. 16. 16. I'm going to be running the rest of this trip. You can give, viking. He will bring blessings to your people. Take food, keep king.

Okay. Take the food, okay. Okay. Okay, so telepathically, I tell Frumpkin, I'll bring you back in one day, buddy, in my head. And he trots forward. Okay. Kicks up the fake king from the scruff of the neck, goes like, You, I eat king power bigger than that one, false leader. Let go! All of them pull back and begin to disappear into the tunnels behind. You guys are given a path through. And we have food?

The creature in the cage? The cage is just right there. So pick it up. Let's open it up. All right. To the old cage. To the old cage. Once the cage is within 30 feet, I'm just going to pop it open with Amaterji. Okay.

The creature immediately jumps out and just darts off down the tunnel. I'm rabies! Yay, it's alive! Thanks, Caleb! Bye, buddy. This thing is going to die in ten more feet from something else. It's going to be like one of those YouTube videos

where they let the mouse go in the forest and just the hot knee, like ten feet. So you guys continue on the path? Uh-huh. As you're leaving, Caduceus, you notice that the leader leans over to two other kobolds and whispers something to them.

What do I hear? You hear a low muttering, but not a language you understand. That's interesting. Can your cat hear what they're talking about? Sure, but I'm not zooming into him right now. No, I'm going to walk by you and be like, they're talking about something.

I don't know if we want to keep an ear out for what they're up to. So what was that? Oh, I just jumped into the Fey King really quick, just to see if anything was happening. After you guys leave, everyone scatters into the chambers, but stays behind and watches,

and you watch as two of the kobolds slowly begin to follow behind the group in the tunnel after you. Yeah. Cool, cool. Okay. That's what I'm doing for a little bit. You see one of them is the one that's covered

in all the different boxes and pouches and it's a staff and it has an actual small cage, like the one that you just opened on its side, but something inside it. The other one looks to be a small spear holding scout and they're both being quiet as they can, but the one carrying everything isn't very quiet. Okay, I'm not there.

Caduceus, you can hear the gentle clanging of various accessories of this kobold trying to be quiet, pursuing you down the tunnel. As long as they're keeping some distance. Want me to take them out? Or at least disarm them? Not yet. Let's lead them away from the pack. They might have useful information.

They're so cute. I don't think that's accurate. They both have weapons? Well, one of them's just covered in random shit. The other one looks to be a spear. But you travel for about an hour or so away from that, the tunnel continuing before you. They're still staying back by about 60 or so feet.

Oh, so they're not even being secretive about it. They think they are. They think they are. They're watching us leave, they're escorting us out. I think at some point, when's the point where it's time to bed down, are we getting to that point? I'd say you're probably within another hour or so of that. I think at some point we're going to bed down, are we getting to that point? I'd say you're probably within another hour or so of that. I think at some point we're going to bed down.

Mm-hmm. Mm-mm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think that's a great idea. Yeah, and then we'll go to sleep. And then we'll go to sleep. Go to sleep.

Mm-mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Good idea. All right. So you guys eventually reach that point, and you begin to bed down. What do you do? I'm just going to, I think we should... Put on a show.

I think they need some entertainment. Mm. Yeah. You mean like as in... Hey, we should go to sleep. Yes! Ugh! I'm feeling so tired. My feet, they hurt. Also, I'm not a giant lizard anymore. I'm not a big kobold. I'm me again. Because you're a god.

That's right. I can take any form I want! I'm glad to see your true form, mistress! Yes! I'm glad everyone worships me like they should. While they're shouting at each other, I'm going to turn invisible. Okay, there you go. And I'm going to sneak back there. I'm giving him a shout. Back towards them. Do you go. I'm going to sneak back there. Okay. Back towards them.

Do you guys lay down? Like, what do you do? I walk around dramatically. Why don't we walk around and lay down for a bit? Is the dome out? Are we summoning the whole thing? I don't know, is the dome out? No, I have not done that yet.

I'll try to look for firewood, but I'm so exhausted. It's going to be so hard to find wood down here in the tunnels. Point of clarification, are we traveling through Worm Tunnel at this point? Yes, you are. Okay. Which is how wide again? 10 feet. 10 feet across, yeah.

It's always been 10 feet. Yeah, yeah, thank you. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at the dirt. I don't think we need to pull up the dome right now. Not yet, no. Okay. You guys. Am I nearing them?

As you're invisible, you're walking back towards their direction, okay? You see the two of them around the bend are both looking, and the one with the spear is looking eager, the one with all the shit on it is looking a little apprehensive, and they're both just watching and talking back and forth. Is Nott out of our sight?

Yeah, Nott vanished a few minutes ago. I'm going to try to sneak up on the one with the spear. All right. And get close to he or she. Yeah. And grab the spear out of their hand. Okay. Go ahead and make, I would say with advantage,

make an athletics check to try and... 20. Seven. The spear vanishes from its hand. Throw it the opposite direction, down the tunnel. Away from it. Away from it. Yeah.

Looks confused and rubs his wrist and starts walking back towards the spear on the opposite side. And then while the other one, while he's, or she is going to get their spear, I'm going to try to grapple the cage, the weird one, the one that's all weird and shit. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

Oh, not advantage. I would say advantage because it doesn't know you're there. Oh, you shouldn't have. Okay, 19. 19, okay. If you'd like to describe your kobold. Oh my god! What? What?

What? You son of a bitch! You slow-playing son of a bitch! Playing the long game. The long con! I move over to Alicent. Am I moving over? Okay. Oh my god!

What is this? How do we right now? Oh my god, long con! That was good. Wow, we didn't make it. That was good. How? That was so good.

That was so good. That was bullshit. Holy shit. There we go. Let me make some room here. Welcome, Chris. Thank you very much. What?

Wow. We were specifically told not to let you in. Not letting you in. Just visiting. Aeros is a house of lies. Oh my god. No peeking. No peeking, no peeking. So suddenly, out of nowhere,

it apparates in the nervous energy of the moment, the small goblin creature that you could've been eyeing nervously as the group wandered through, and it just reaches out and grabs ahold of you. Mommy, Mommy! Yeah, I'm your mommy! Yeah, deal with it! So this kobold has flasks hanging off him by ropes, and you can see that these flasks are

basically just stoppered gourds, and they're clattering and banging together. He's got a basket of swarming centipedes slung over his back. Open? No, it's almost like a closed-off net of centipedes with a rope attached to it. Then there is a clay pot hanging from that that has an acrid smell rising from it. Shit down. And another clay pot tied to a rope that's lashed around his shoulders. His weapon is a staff with a living scorpion tied at the top of it. Caduceus, where are you? I need you!

Its little tail just jabbing at the air. The cage holds a creature that you recognize as a skunk. This is chemical warfare, man. The worst is, tied to this stick with the scorpion on it, is a bag that is buzzing loudly, like it's full of hornets. Babies. So as you hear this sudden clattering commotion and both this kobold voice screaming out, mommy, and Nott going,

Yeah, Mommy! The other cobalt, Delamay goes, What the fuck, and runs off to grab the spear. You guys hear this noise. What are you two doing? You two meaning me and Chris? Yeah, what's your reaction? I am trying to take my stick and hit him with the scorpion. Go ahead and make an attempt. Scorping it off the end of the stick. Holy jeez.

Little scorpion. Oh, boy. Please hit. That is a, what is that? That, I believe, is in fact a, A natural 20? I think that's a natural 20. Shit.

Yeah, that is. Oh my god. All right. That's your old Keyleth die, too, and I've never seen it roll out of my life. Holy shit. So it stings you on your eyelid. It hits! Best place! You take one piercing damage and have to make a constitution saving

throw. So two piercing damage with the crit. Oh, sure. Yeah, two. Com save 21. Okay, you succeed and take half of this amount of damage, which is? 79. Technically, the dice damage is doubled because it's a crit, too, so it's just the damage. Oh, right, yeah, double poison damage, shit.

So that would be seven points of poison damage on your dice. The eye immediately swells up from the impact and you're like, Just spinning around in a circle. The one with the spear rushes up like, can't quite figure out where to go. What are you guys doing? I'm going to get up. I'm going to get up. I've got one! I've got one! You rush around the corner and you see this whirling whirlwind of clattering pots and cage and goblin and kobold screaming.

Anyone doing anything or are you just watching? I'm going to cast Command. All right. At second level. And try to get both of them and say, stop it! You're commanding me, too? No, both of them and say, Stop it! You're commanding me, too? No, both of them. Gotcha.

Are you commending me for keeping that high close? The second one went off down the hall a bit. Yeah, but it's still within range. All right, so it's wisdom saving throws? Yes, wisdom saving throw. Make a wisdom saving throw, if you don't mind. And simultaneously, I am casting Enlarge on Not the Brave. Okay!

Shit! So. I rolled a 14 minus two, is 12. 12, 17 minus two, which is 15. They both have to stop it! So immediately, the one holding the spear kind of looks at you, and you find yourself, all of a sudden, stop struggling,

and weapon freezes in place. At the same time, the tiny goblin arms around you suddenly hulk out and you find yourself lifted off the ground, your legs dangling a few inches off the floor of the cavern. Don't make Mommy mad. Oh, shit. Oh, come on.

I mean. Who are you? Yeah. What do you want? I'm Spurt. Spurt? I'm Bex. Spurt and Bex? Yeah. We're supposed to follow you to make sure you don't drop any food!

Oh. We don't have any food. We already gave you all the food. Oh! Also, I'm supposed to stick a bunch of Rot Grumps in your mouth while you're sleeping! What? Stick a bunch of what?

Don't have to tell them this. He's really big! Okay. Sorry! You guys. What the fuck are you doing? I mean, I just feel bad, really, at this point. I mean, you're so cute and stuff,

but don't attack us, we're really big. Jester, are you killing them or what? Yeah, no, I'm going to kill them, for sure. Don't, I'm not going to kill you. Run. If you let us go, I'll let you play with our centipote. What's a centipote? What? I'm interested.

You don't want to play with that? No, no, I feel like we should hear this out. Your centipote? Yeah, yeah, it's an invention. What does it do? It throws centipedes real far. That's awesome! Show us a demonstration,

and we will induct you to the Mighty Nein. Tell Mommy to let me go. Oh my god. Well. All right. Mommy? Underpants. Show us a centipold.

But not on us, don't attack us, okay? There's only one other target in the chamber. Right, yes, exactly. So I will take off my green slime pot, and I will take off my rock grub pot, and I'll lay down my scorpion stick and my skunk in a cage, and my wasp in a bag. I like it.

And then I'll begin assembling my centipold out of other oddities that I have on me. I'm going to open my sketchbook and draw all of it. Learning the cutting edge kobold technology. Maybe we should set up some sort of target for the young man. I'll use him!

What'd he say? He's going to shoot centipedes at you. The Lord will heal you. I'm like, is that a good thing, to shoot centipedes over here? No, that's exactly what he said. Then you hear this sound. Do you have bug allergies?

Oh, oh no. Oh, oh, oh! Oh! Have you been stung by just- Leeches! Fjord comes running down the hallway. The kobold right in front of you goes, and screams at you as you slam into it. The spear goes clattering to the ground. That's really neat. That's really neat.

That's really cool. It works! It's amazing. Aw, man. That's a genius. At which! It's amazing. Aw, man. That's a genius. At which point, the enlarged elf fades. Wow. That was fucking terrible.

Wanna see my skunk? Hey, skunk. Hold it up by the tail. Oh no, no, no! Is that alive? Oh yeah. Hey, hi, nice skunk. As he holds up the skunk, the nervous energy around it, the skunk just instinctually.

No! Oh! Dexterity saving throw for Jester and Nott. Ah! Hey! Come on. Dodge those juices. No, no, no. 18. Damn it.

All right, you've managed to just barely escape out of the way, is it? No! Pepe! I got beat up by the little snake. No, don't beat it! Poor Pepe. The other kobold has fled. It saw the running Fjord centipede nightmare and just left. As fun as that was, instead of killing this adorable little guy, maybe we could enlist him as a scout or guide? Do you know these tunnels at all? Have you explored since the worm came through?

Yeah! What was that? What did you explored since the worm came through? Yeah! What was that? What did you just do? What was that? I'm still hitting the skunk. Stop, stop, no way, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop hitting it.

Okay. Don't beat your skunk. Put it back in its box. Yeah, I have a question for you, my little friend. Do you eat enough under your current leadership? Because we will keep your belly full. If you travel with us, you will have never eaten so much in your life.

But we do need a guide down here, and you could be that guide. I'm very quiet! Slink it over. My hornets. You got my hornets. I am back to my staff. If it gets us where we need to be,

I'd be willing to drop another spell. Mm. Yeah. You can keep it all to yourself. Another 45 pounds, whatever we don't need of that 45 pounds, which is an awful lot of food. I think you'll have no trouble finding your way back. How far down this tunnel have you ventured before, Spurt? I point back the way we came, about 60 feet.

Oh shit. Brave New World. That is less appealing. we came about 60 feet. Oh shit. Brave new world. Oh, that is less appealing. But you're quiet and you can stealth, right? You snuck off on us very well. Is that a bag of bees you've got over there? Oh, hello. I got plus zero, is that high?

Sure, sure. Here are my bees! Hi, bees. Oh, hi bees. Not my bees! Hi, bees. Oh, hi, bees. Not the bees, not the bees. I mean. Hey, Spurt, how long have you lived down here? 11 days!

11 days? How long do kobolds live? 11 days! Oh god, this is it. And in your 11 days, what is the worst thing you've ever seen down here? Ah! My brother got eaten by a green slime! Oh, that's really hard.

Wait, like the green slime you have right there? Yeah, that's the one! Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Do you like it down here? Do you want to come with us? Where else is there? There's other places. Really? Yes, there's light. There's light and other terrain.

Would you like to follow us towards the light at the end of the tunnel? Oh my god! other terrain. Would you like to follow us towards the light at the end of the tunnel? Oh my god! Okay! Except we're leading him to a really scary place, yo. We don't know that. It would be really peaceful in there. We don't know. Jorhas might love kobolds. Plus, he's near the end of his life. We might as well show him great things.

Yeah, that's true. Going to eat better than he ever has. Yeah, yeah. We could let him look at the Dodecahedron. We shouldn't pull that shit out. Or leave it in the bag. I'm just kidding, forget it. That's a bad idea.

That could be a really bad idea, Caleb. It's funny, but it's not wise. So we should keep going. Yeah, you want to come with us? Yeah! Very well. Hey, this kid thinks he's our mom. That's super duper sad right now. We're going to bring the whole room down.

No, I'm fine! I am fine. T and D, happiness and sadness tied together. All right, so what's the marching order? Spurt 30 feet ahead. All right. I lost my staff out, so Stingy is actually in the lead. Got you, so you're leading with your scorpion, perfect.

All right, so, Spurt continues forward. Do you guys follow? Spurt ahead. All right. Of course. All right, Spurt, go ahead and roll a perception check for me as you are. Somebody around here stinky!

This is the best, This is the best. Wow! Okay. No, it's another one. Hey, it's dark down here! All right. Yeah, this is going to be great. So.

It's dark down here. So. Not good, Not good. Continuing on for the next few hours, getting slowly used to the smell of kobolds, especially moving hoarder of a kobold. The tunnel continues to curve and it goes down a little further and it evens out and then goes down a little further, and it evens out, and it goes down a little further, then it evens out. You get pretty late into the day before you begin to notice the rock and stone having some slight changes. The general bits of materials that you've been used to seeing down here, the heavy gray and brown rocks. Occasionally, you see flecks and glimmers

that your passing light puts a shine across. You go over and inspect it, and it is like a black glass-like substance. Oh. It's obsidian. It's obsidian. Oh. You continue moving forward, and there's more sections of it.

You can see where bits of it are broken and flaked off, like where the worm was burrowing through and it battered through a section of obsidian that had then shattered. If there's anywhere to shoot about. Yeah, definitely you can gather a bunch of obsidian shards, it's broken and brittle, but there are some larger bits you can find that are pretty jagged, really.

You can see them first, so you can gather what you want. I'm too busy eating the poop out of my skunk's cage. There you go. Good berries. Hey, guys, kobolds have ecology down. It goes to waste! Like a dune suit, man, you can't let that shit go to waste. Exactly! Dudes reuse, recycle, man, you can't let that shit go to waste. Exactly!

Reduce, reuse, recycle. Stop, I just got better. I'm just saying, none of you guys have a weapon that feeds you. The air gets steadily warmer, and warmer as the hours pass, and the floor itself begins to give way from the softer dirt and dust with loose pebbles to become a harder,

more porous rock. The obsidian begins to become more apparent, more consistent. Uspert begins to see a dull light ahead. A dull, low red light. Perception zero. Yeah. Light! I see the light! I run toward it. All right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we see what it is? It looks to be the tunnel coming to an end for some sort of a chamber. You're too far away to make out any details, but it looks like there is just a room beyond it that has a dull red glow to it. I'm going to spurt, don't run! All right, so you head towards the edge, you just run out?

Yeah. Okay. So you guys see Spurt run out into what looks to be... Spurt gives us all TP. And the temperature here is getting warmer and warmer as you progress. You're starting to find yourself sweat uncomfortably. You rush out into what looks to be an open field of rock, like hewn, carved rock floor, like a courtyard, if you will. It's about 100 feet or so across at first glance. You can see across the way there is a wall, or portions of what looks to be a stone wall built into parts of an obsidian and stone, almost like a cliff face, or the interior of a cavern. You look to the inside, and this brief instant that you take in the vicinity, through your kobold

eyes, this large chamber that continues on far to your left. To the right is a very, very steep incline, an obsidian wall, where a pouring river of molten magma is coming down into a trough that goes across this open chamber, this river of lava, with a bridge that goes across it to the opposite side. To the left, there is a very interesting, massive black iron citadel that sits maybe a quarter mile to the left of you. You can see at the peak of it, and this is a very, very large chamber, dozens of thick, heavy black chains affixed to its peak drape off and

connect to the odd corners of this large cavern. This is far to your left. You're almost in a small side courtyard on this side as you stop and look around. Ooh. No, no, no. Not like this, not like this. Hilariously, unnoticed by what appears to be the two massive fire giants that are currently playing Sentinel. There's one across the way, leaned against the wall, standing about roughly 18 to 20 feet tall, dark gray skin, a little bit of red hair you see peeking from underneath its armored helmet as it's wearing heavy, dark armor covered in spikes, metallic thorns. You can see one hand is holding what looks to be a tower shield roughly its full height, also covered in spikes in the front,

with another shield just like that that's leaning to the wall. It looks like it's currently spacing out for a moment, looking back towards the Citadel. To the immediate left of you, on this side of that molten river, you see what looks to be a female fire giant wielding a giant maul who is in the process of picking her teeth with some sort of a pointed bone, and neither have noticed you.

Strangely, they rolled really shitty. You said Citadel. We are seeing a fortress down here? You guys aren't seeing this. Well, okay, but. You just see the kobold rush out. Okay. This is huge. So what do you do, spurt?

He spurts. And how far away is the closest one to me? The closest one to you is about 20 feet to your left. I throw my wasp nest in a bag at it. Okay! Yes! Go ahead and roll for attack on it. Okay! Yes! Go ahead and roll for attack on it. Or is it a saving throw on everybody?

Okay, so I throw the bag into a five-foot square within 20 feet of me. Okay. And it just bursts open into a swarm of wasps with 11 hit points. All right, so you watch as Sve fur runs out, turns and. Oh no. Please add some real armor. All right, 22 to hit against you. Okay.

You take... Remember that number, kids. 28 points of bludgeoning damage. I win! You watch us for turns after throwing this, and then a giant hammer just. Gallagher's spurt across the stone floor of this open way. No! Run to the side of the cavern wall and lean up against it and shrink down.

A little green slime seeps out underneath the hammer. The hammer lifts up. The stringy mess that was one spurt detaching from the hammer. Oh lord! Oh my god! Everyone make a stealth check here. Caleb starts walking slowly back

through the entire walking thing. Yes! Oh my god! Holy fuck. Caleb starts walking so way back through the entire walking thing. Yeah! Oh my god! Holy fuck! Died as he lived. As a spurt. Thank you, Chris.

Oh my god. What are we rolling, stealth? We fulfilled the stealth check. We fulfilled the bargain, I feel okay. That happened. That spurt was quick, but potent. No, Pass Without Trace was not cast. We're stealthing?

Oh my god. Oh, right. Stealthing. Natural 20. Natural 20. Oh! Well, fuck y'all, because I rolled a two. That's a...

23. 23. Four for me. 23, natural 20, 19, Yasha rolled an 11. All right. I rolled an 11. Natural 20. Oh wow, okay. Should I be rolling stealth checks for Nugget?

Is that Danny? Is that Danny? Is that Danny breaking the other room? The leader yet should head to the lobby. I love it. That is the best. All right. Is that the quickest we've ever had

a player character come in and die? Oh, oh yeah. So as you guys all pull to the sides, you hear a hand reaches down and rubs it through the smear that was once the kobold and then rises up. A couple of pieces into the stonework. Then you watch as the light goes dark, as the giant's head bends down and one giant eye

peeks through the tunnel in your direction. As it's on its way down into the tunnel. How big is this tunnel again? The tunnel is 10 feet wide. The giant is going to have a hard time. It can probably get in there if it crawled. But right now, it's just leaning down and looking inside. Lights are dimmed by the light.

Yeah, we're pressed flush. It glances around inside, bends its head inside, and it's completely engulfing the entire exit. Backs out of the tunnel and then steps to the side. It just, you guys just barely fucking made that. Yeah, thank you, two natural 20s. You hear it shout something in giant. Do any of you guys speak giant? Yeah. Not anymore.

Yeah. You do, that's right. Hey! Because of your what? Because of your what? Because of his background, his race, that's right. Hey! Because of your what? Because of his background, his race, his whole secret. Because he's so awesome! It's not a secret, it's actually one of those languages

that you get as a... It's secrets. Sure enough. I was once a giant. Here we go. There you go. So what you hear is, Oh shit.

Oh, poor toy! You recognize it as, be careful, looks like we got rodents. And you guys hear on the opposite side, the one that was laying with the shields sits up for a second and takes the shield, walks over to the river of lava, and scoops up some of it

and pours it across the top of the shield. It's like a pachinko machine. The lava fills the front of it. On the inside, there's a pocket. You watch where once it was just dark iron shield and now it's heating up. The shields now have a fiery exterior to them. After it fills both the shields, it holds both of them, gets back to its position, and they're both looking around. Does Caduceus see that, or everybody? holds both of them, gets back to his position, and they're both looking around. Does Caduceus see that, or everybody? You guys who are off to the side,

you can glance over and watch this happen. He sees across the way, you have no idea what the other giant's doing, but this one is across the way and is visible from your position. I think there are more kobolds coming at the moment. How are we going to get out of here? Where are we going to get out of here? Where are we?

Do we see into the chamber, across, on the other side of the... It's not a chamber, it's huge, right? It looks, you would guess, probably a hundred or more feet across to the other side. But there is a wall there. Make a perception check. I'm terrible at this. Five. Five. It's hard to see from this distance. Caleb, you ever read about anything like this? Have I ever read? I've read a lot. About fire giants under the earth? Yes.

Yeah, crazy dark. Oh, you have? Yeah, my grandmother used to keep me up late at night reading me stories about things like this. No, I don't know anything. I don't know what's going on. Dark citadels, I mean, what the fuck? This is an accident, right? This isn't where we were trying to go. I know about the history of the country I grew up in,

not about underground fortresses. You know what we should do? We should mark this on the map. Let's put a pin in that and get back to it later. Yeah, we'll get back to that. Should we mark this on the map, then, with a pin? I was speaking in metaphor. Oh yeah, I like those. What do we do?

We can sneak in. We can create a diversion. We could create a diversion. We could create a diversion. Hold on, let me see what kind of spells I have. But then to what end? We're going to run in there and do what? How far from the opening of the tunnel Hold on, let me see what kind of spells I have. But then to what end? We're going to run in there and do what? How far from the opening of the tunnel that we're at,

off to the left, are both of the fire giants? Go ahead and make a perception check for me to take in the details of the scenery. Natural 20. No shit. Okay, so not only as you lean forward and poke through, really assess the scene, I'll just pull out the map to show you, because you rolled a natural 20. I'll be right back.

Nice. Got to love those critical roll dice. So attractive. Copper finish. Perkins! You, too, can roll a critical roll. You are such a fun player. Jeez. You chaotic motherfucker roll a critical roll. You are such a fun player. 20 natural 20. Jeez.

You chaotic motherfucker. Yes, yes. How much shit can I throw at one person? Such a 180 from Shale when you were here the last time. So. What? So, you're fucked. Here's where you guys are.

This is the tunnel. Oh fuck. And there's the X-Men. And because you rolled a natural 20, you can see on the other side a continuation. You gather that when the Kree traveled through, they probably had to make their way through this chamber. You gather from the surrounding and the vicinity,

the obsidian was probably a difficult thing to pass through for this worm, and probably why it was forced to briefly make its way through this courtyard. What is this? Where the fuck are we? Do we think that the Kryn just went through and were allowed to pass? No, I bet that these people are posted here because the Kryn came through. Oh. yeah. That's an interesting observation.

Yeah. I'm really wise. I think diplomacy will be our best tactic. Let's use words. Let's offer them some food. Yeah, it worked well before. And the other fire giant? The splatter of dead spurt?

Yeah, that's for spurt medicine. Here lies spurt. And the second fire giant is on this side of the Molten River of Death. Right there. Uh-huh, one. And that's the other one on the opposite side. What?

That's a fire giant? I thought that was the Citadel. No, the Citadel's way that way. Like, there is a whole. Those are shields? How intense is that? Oh yeah, you can't see the actual figure. There's a guy behind it.

Yeah, that's a dude, double fisting, full on. This is the worst American Gladiators course ever. He's right next to where we need to go. Just the big problem. Pugil sticks. Oh my god. There's laser and target, and you get to fight fucked. You need to go. That's the big problem. Pugil sticks. Oh my god. There's laser and target, and you get to fight fucked.

Yeah, fire shield. Magma shield. So potentially, okay, what if I have an idea? Okay. What if, Caleb, you make your bubble, and then one of us just yells out to the fire giants, hey, we just want to pass through. We don't want to have anything to do with you.

We're just chasing down these dicks that pass through your land, that's it. Then we hide in your bubble so that they can't attack us. Then they know we're here. Well, yeah, but what are we going to do? We can't all be invisible, and they're right here. What happens after they attack us in the bubble? Bubble can, how much can the bubble take What happens after they attack us in the bubble? Bubble can...

How much can the bubble take? They can't get us through the bubble. Maybe they will go to sleep eventually. Maybe we can come back a little later. You don't think they're going to have other sentries posted when they leave their post? Yeah, I don't know about the bubble thing. I can throw my voice if we have to.

What if it breaks? What about when it expires? I'm just saying in the tunnel, it's just an extra bonus of being in the tunnel next for protection. We can have it there in case we need to retreat. Yeah, if we are crazy enough to start a fight with these two.

Which I thought we'd do. But if we do, the bubble is a good idea, although I have to stay in the bubble for the bubble to be in effect. Non-fighting options. I can take one person with me 90 feet in a single direction. I can also make my voice, I believe, come from wherever I like. I can use a distraction, get them looking somewhere else. Just to have a conversation with these guys, see if they're willing to make a deal.

Jester can get across the entire span. Yes, I could do it. I can turn invisible. I to make a deal. Jester can get across the entire span. Yes, I could do it. I can turn invisible. I could create a diversion. I'm a great sprinter. Like, real good, 100-meter dash. Sure.

Right, just saying. I could get across, too. I could create a false diversion that's a massive beast in the opposite direction of us, or I could make a real beast. Yeah, can you make it look like it comes from the cave and then run off so that it doesn't just appear out of nowhere?

Which cave? Ours. Or the other cave, maybe, no. I don't know. Or just emerge from the lava. Or just come out of the lava. Ooh. Lava monster. What about this?

What if Fjord does that distraction you talked about across the fire, and you banished that stone creature? I know how to do that as well. If you and I both take a shot at the one on our side, one of us maybe will succeed. If I hit it with Bane beforehand, it would also have a slightly harder time doing that.

But it could also succeed against us, and then we'll have to fight the giant. I think it would be better if, you know, I could Dimension Door with you, Caleb, over to the other side. And? And then we just keep going. We never engage with these fucks.

Wait, what about us? What about the rest of us? You're just going to leave us? Well, he's going to make a big distraction, then we all run. I, hmm, I have a sneaking suspicion that, I have a sneaking suspicion that there's probably, these giants are fast.

Faster than we are. Probably with some range. Would I know anything about giants reading up on them? They've got long legs. Go ahead and roll a history check for me. Cobalt. 19. Go ahead and roll a history check for me. Cobalt. 19. 19.

They generally live beneath mountain ranges and areas of heavy volcanic activity. They are considered the crafters, like artisan crafters and forgers of giantkin and the Ordning. They have... They're evil. No, no, that's a giant. Probably not amicable or prone to negotiation?

They can be, if it suits them well. They enjoy free labor, so they like to take slaves to force the take to do the menial tasks. And they craft things so they're not stupid. No, no, they're intelligent, like an average being would be. Okay. Okay, averagely smart. So there's also a bridge. From what you've heard, you don't have a whole lot of knowledge necessarily,

you just know, you haven't heard of tales of the great crafty intelligence, but nevertheless, they still built this entire underground city. I read this tome once in the library, but I was a little distracted when reading it, because the monks had also drawn a bunch of dicks and dudes putting horns up their butts in the margins. Oh shit. Wait, which library was this?

Oh, in the Cobalt Soul. Focus! Wait, which library was this? Oh, in the Cobalt Soul. Focus, focus. I have a suggestion. I could make a manticore appear, run from the cave, and leap slash fly over the river and carry off in the direction that is opposite of where we need to go. Yeah, and then we all run. Yeah, but do we have everything? Is this a real manticore or just an image of one? It sounds and looks like a real manticore,

but if you make contact with it, it's just an illusion. While they are all debating this, I channel a little bit of transmutive energy from my stone into my stone and change its focus from constitution to fire resistance for myself. Okay. So you can go invisible, you can go the entire distance. You're fast as balls.

Go the distance. Caleb's fast as balls. Nope. I can straightly go invisible, but not for the whole run. I can take one person with me. We studied that last night. Can you get that far, too?

With one person. Okay. Caleb. Mr. Caleb is the way to go. Somebody take Caleb. Yasha. I'll take Yasha. Caleb is the way to go. Somebody take Caleb. Yasha. I'll take Yasha. You can't take Yasha. Why? You can take Yasha. She's bigger than you.

Well, it's just. They're both medium size. She's not, like, large. Who's the odd man out? Who doesn't have a way to get over there real quick? I can run and I'm invisible. Mm-hmm. Ov-Hus, can you run? You're pretty fast. Who doesn't have a way to get over there real quick? I can run and I'm invisible. Mm-hmm. Ofhus, can you run?

You're pretty fast. Yeah, it's you two. You are the quickest. I can be invisible for one, yeah, I can be invisible for one run. For one action. How long is your speed? That would be, I could get 60 feet.

I could Blessing of the Trickster you here, and that way you're a little more stealthy as you're going. Oh, I mean, I'll be invisible until invisible, so. Nott, how do you feel about... I could Polymorph someone! Into what? Into something that, you know. Dragonfly.

Yeah, can get across. I could Polymorph, I could polymorph you, and I could Dimension Dormy and Yasha. Sure, okay. You hear this heavy smacking sound as the fire giant on your side of this courtyard is putting to bed the rest of the bees that have been harrowing its kneecap.

Caleb, do you have a plan? A plan? To get across? I'm the odd man out. I'm asking. No, I deny. There are many things that I could do, but I did not do my homework last night that would facilitate those things. You're bamf with him? Why don't you get a Dimension 2?

One of us needs to take Yasha, one of us needs to take Caleb. I'm taking Caleb. I'll take Yasha. You're running balls. You're invisible. How far can you go? 90 feet. That is not across the way. Nope. That is just Yasha. You're running balls. You're invisible. How far can you go? 90 feet. That is not across the way. Nope.

That is just to the other side of the bridge, maybe. How could you go farther than that? It'll be pretty close. We're going to send both of them in the opposite direction. Are we dashing partners, me and you? Yeah. We don't do any of this until they fucking move away from where we need to go, ready?

I like it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How about I take Caleb the entire distance, you and Yasha, Banff 90 feet, and run? Because Caleb is squishy. Sure, sounds good. I like it. Should I be visible at the beginning or at the end? Do you want to be polymorphed? I can be invisible for 60 feet. Okay, well I won't be able to polymorph you once you're out.

Why don't you just polymorph? Oh, polymorph then, I guess. Do you keep your intelligence if you're polymorphed? Here's the order. You're going to polymorph Caduceus. You're going to go invisible and get started. I'm going to set the diversion, and then we start going. And then we're going to go. Okay.

Do you need me to do anything to make the diversion look even more realistic? I don't think so. Because I could have a second, open it up so that Beauregard can focus on the mote of possibility. Is that bad? It's going to send stuff through. Don't take it out, Jester.

It's just like huffing gasoline. Are you huffing glue right now? I do the back. Huffing paint. All right, you take a moment and focus on the dodecahedron. You are doing that? Yeah, but it's staying in the bag. You take your Fragment of Possibility.

Vorekoth's face goes into another dimension for a moment. Yep. You've got silver paint all over you. Witness me! Okay. Okay. Ready? Okay, do I need to, I'm going to Blessing of the Trickster you. So you're such a stealthy, I don't think it matters.

Jester. What? It was so wonderful having Nugget around. Nugget's going to just run out and he's going to blink and blink and blink and blink as far as he can. He's going to be fine. Yeah, he's going to just run out and he's going to blink and blink and blink as far as he can. He's going to be fine. I'm also going to add resistance to you, so you can add a d4 to any saving throw for the next 60 seconds, just in case.

It just gives you advantage on stealth checks. You can add a d4 to any saving throw. All right. I turn to Yasha and I say, when I give you the signal, you and I are going to run towards the River of Magma and hold on tight. Oh boy. You guys over on this side here.

Since you can figure out. This is going to go so good. This is a great plan. Mighty Nein, we have to do this for the memory of Spurt. For Spurt! He's so cute. The kobold who was just introduced to us and killed. Oh.

Okay, when you're, what should I make you? What do you want to be? I don't know, man, there's so many options. What would be fun? I don't know. A dragonfly could be a real good one. I mean, dragonflies are pretty there's so many options. What would be fun? I don't know. A dragonfly could be really cool. I mean, dragonflies are pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Will you remember, if you're a dragonfly, will you remember what you're supposed to do? Well, I don't know, but to be fair, I'm not sure if I remember what I'm supposed to do anyway. You guys are working out, you're supposed to be able to grab something fast.

Oh! Do you guys know? Keep talking amongst yourselves. If you cast Polymorph on, like, if I were to be casting on myself, I would remember that as well. Yes, you keep all your thoughts. Okay, okay. I'm actually, am I just sitting on something?

Look, there's the creative lead of Dungeons and Dragons over there. Who would be like, um, actually. You take all the stat adjustments except for your brains in there, so all your decision making is the same. Yeah. But like, dexterity saves and stuff,

that's the creature stats, right? Creatively. Yeah, but Nugget's in your pocket, right? No, no, no, Sprinkle's in my pocket. Doesn't everyone have the creative lead of D&D next to them when they play a game? What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?

You got the limited edition from your local story. I actually have a question, Matt. When I Dimension Door, I can take another creature. Yes. Does that mean I can't have Sprinkle on me or else I won't be able to take Caleb? Correct. Okay, I'm going to take Sprinkle off,

out of my hood. Holy shit. Okay, Beau. Uh-huh? Take care of Sprinkle. Okay. It's on you. Don't, no, it's okay, Sprinkle. Just hold onto him while you run, okay? Don't let him get left behind. Can't he do like a, he's more magical than I am.

It's Sprinkle, he's my weasel. I'm literally. Oh! Just imagine if Jester had teleported away and went with Sprinkle and Gale was just going, uh-oh. I love it. I love it. As long as it's going to blank, blank, blank, blank, blank.

I'm going to be, yeah, I'm going to hide it probably in your pocket while this, or I'm going to hide it on you as a dragonfly while this happens. I'm a one-woman petting zoo, let's go. Two. Dragonfly. One.

Polymorph. Go. Invisible! So what order are we doing this, guys? Polymorph. Invisible! Mm-hmm. All right, so you're polymorphing Caduceus.

Yeah. Into what? A dragonfly. Get your head start, both of you. So I'll say, for the purposes of that, sure. We'll say this is you. I'm going to be, yeah, I'm going to start, both of you. So I'll say, for the purposes of that, say this is you. I'm going to be, yeah, I'm going to be hitching a ride on you.

All right, so the dragonfly jumps onto Beau. Beau is now in the position to hold. You're not just going to fly across the room by yourself? She's faster. Beauregard is now Noah's Ark. Yes. You are the mighty menagerie. Beau, I'm going to give you 15 seconds

before we start this. We're starting? Yeah. Just a state fair, putting you to sleep. I think you should start with the monster. It's your call. Because if I go out there and trip, the jig is up. Are you going to trip?

Don't be tricky. Plus, it's expecting something to come out the door. All right, fine. I will use, oh, mother of god. Do it, Minnie. I will use Major Image, and I will cast the image of a manticore climbing out of the magma river on this side of the bank, roaring at the fire giant,

and then leapflying over to the other side. Okay. That's a great setup. That's epic. All righty. Jar of peanut butter, get ready for a dick. All right, so out of the molten rock, Digbybeam!

Wings. The manticore begins to rise. Both of the giants look confused towards it and at each other. The one with the shields braces the shields in front. The other one, looking off to the side, goes and reaches off to one of the boulders off to the side and grabs it as it picks it up. Those at the front can see the rock seems to heat up. There are veins of heat in the inside as it grips it. You create the effect. This is major image, right? Major image. Visuals and sounds. Visuals and sounds. Yes. All right, they're both going to look forward towards it to see what the hell it is. Watching a manacle rise out of magma is insane.

Very heavy metal. Yeah, he comes out here, roars, and then jumps over. Correct. So the guy with the shields, he's attempting to ascertain with this investigation as to what the fuck is going on. He rolled a natural 19. Minus one, that's an 18. What's your spell, DC? I think it's a 16. Oh no. Shit.

That is monocle. Where the hell is that on this thing? Perfect plan. Foiled on the first step. Do I know where that is? Your spell, sir, have you seen it? Yeah, where is it? It's right at the top of you. If you hit spells, it'll say at the top, modify your spell.

16, yeah. So the one with the shields goes like, just looks confused as it takes off. The other one. Bing. What is it? What is it? What is it?

No, it literally rolled two 19s in a row. Ah. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm not. So as the manticore takes off, the one holding the rock is like... It twists the rock with the other hand and reaches over to the side and grabs a chain and starts ringing this loud bell. It's echoing through the chamber. They're both confused as this thing flies off. They look

at each other like, shit. Are they looking at each other? Yeah, they're looking at each other. So what's up next? Should we run? Plan still can? It's such a great idea! It's rolled really high.

Any other thingies? Is invisibility, it's concentration. I can't do anything else. I still have bottle rockets. That's all I got. Who's doing what? Hold on! They're clanging?

If we run out of here, how far is his melee, 10 feet? Oh, so far. You don't know. I would say 20. It's massive. No, probably 10 or 15. Okay. You can imagine it has larger reach than an average creature.

Yeah. Being a giant. Well. Wow, that went really poorly. Should we just wait? Until it dies down and then go? Nope. Hey, I'll do it.

Caleb leans out the passageway and casts Polymorph on the giant. On the giant? Okay, what's the save on that? It is 16, I believe. 16 wisdom? 16 wisdom. You got it. So for that one? Nope, can't cast spells. Five.

It's a cow. All right. I don't have a cow mini on me at the moment. My god, man. How dare you? I know. How fucking dare I? I'll use this horse. Call yourself a dungeon master? Jesus. I'm going to fire the fire giant suddenly. Go, go, go!

We break out, Yasha and I. All right, this guy, the one over here goes like, and looks confused at that. Everyone needs to roll initiative on this, because you've entered officially combat. Don't fuck me, girl. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? Well, wait, no, there's no natural ones in initiative. It's a three. Natural 20. Hey! All righty, so 25 to 20. 20. Plus 24. 26.

Damn, Beau. I'm burning my boots. Beau! All right. I'm burning my boots. Beau! All right. 20 to 15. 18. 19. Nice. If anyone attacks the cow, I'm going to beat you up in the lobby tonight.

Beau. Don't do it. Who will attack the cow? All right. 15 to 10? Yasha hates cows. No one 15 to 10? A cow killed my wife. That's okay. What did Yasha roll?

Nine. All right, so Yasha's at nine. Seven. All right. Hey, Caleb. The polymorph is really so you can do it. All right. Caleb at three.

Oh, you're at the bottom. Yeah. All right. That's concentration. All right, Beau, you're up first. I am hauling ass across the bridge. All right. 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.

Step of the wind. Step above the wind, step above the wind. 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. Oh god, Beau. I get to move 45 feet is my movement, so add 10 more to both of those. No! You just love your action. No, I don't want to get close to that guy. I'm going to parkour.

Parkour. And then action to run again. Oh man, that's our tag. But I'm going to swing a little more. I don't want to fuck with this guy. 15. 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45. Beau just goes and is already on the opposite side.

The giant with the shields goes like and goes to go for a shove and just watches her advantage and goes like and looks back at the tunnel on the other side and completely just skid off, no effect. Usain Bolt just comes. I'm also unpolymorphed over there. When we get to the other side, I just smack Caduceus. Just squeeze, that's all you got. Okay.

Caduceus suddenly apparates next to you, almost collapsing you from the weight of his much larger body. All right. I'll kick it off. You got it. All right, that finishes your go. Jester, you're up.

Okay, I'm going to run out, grab Caleb, and dimension door to the other side. All right. And the other side of the tunnel. It's just us. All right, that finishes Jester's go. Fjord, you're up. I need Yasha. Nugget's going to run and start running out and blinking. Oh no!

There we go. Cool got me all hoarse. What is happening? All right, so Nugget comes out. Holy god. Oh no, he's so cute! He's got a movement of 40, so that's five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. It's going to do action to run as well. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty.

Then it's going to use its teleport ability, which is to teleport 40 feet. It gets right there. Over the side. Oh my god! All righty, that finishes your go. Fjords, what are you doing? Fjord's going to run out and hug to the right, and he's going to head in this direction towards the magma river and go, Yasha, come on! All right. 30 feet.

There you go, that's your turn. Awesome. I will hold Thunder Step until Yasha is next to me. You got it. All righty. Okay, okay, okay. That ends your turn? It does.

She's next, right? Caduceus, you're up. I'm going to poke my head out and cast Blindness on the giant. Ooh! Five, 10, 15. Yep, you get there to cast it. All right, what's the DC on that?

Sixteen constitution. Constitution. Twenty-six. Ooh. They got a lot of constitution, these fireflies. Oh, yeah, that was a good thought. Sorry. That's all right.

No, it was worth the thought. It was. I've got a bonus action, I suppose, still. You do. What have I got? I got my bonus actions. Yeah, let's do it just for fun. Let's just give him some more bees. I suppose, still. Do you? What have I got? I got my bonus actions. Yeah, let's do a, just for fun,

let's just give him some more bees. So, wake up again, guys. And I'm going to cast the swarm right in his face. Isn't it once per long rest, though? We took a long rest since the last time I used that. Oh, we did. We did, I believe. All right, yeah, that's right. All righty. It's been a while. The beetles scatter and go, I think it We did, I believe. All right, yeah, that's right. All righty.

It's been a while. The beetles scatter and go. I think it's been a long run. It has been, yeah, yeah. I was thinking of the kobolds, but no, it was early before that. 45? So yeah, that's a swarm of insects,

and I think they're going to attack. Go for it. All right. 30 feet. 30 feet. No, no, I'll be short. Definitely. Oh god, that's terrible. It's eight I'll be short 30 feet. 30 feet? No, no, I'll be short. That's, oh god, that's terrible.

It's eight, nine, 10, 11. That's 11 to hit. They are attacking the shield. Okay. Oh, it's beetles. And it's burning up the beetles. Yeah. Because it's a play.

Well, I was going to try and get them on the face, but. Right, they couldn't quite get there. There's too much shield for it to get to. All right. Popping. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm going to pop back in, How far do I get there? There's too much shield for it to get to. All right. Yeah, and I'm going to pop back in, all the way, as far as I can. Against the wall.

You popped out, and then this is the wall here. It's like this is the tunnel. Okay, yeah. For better appearance here. There, that's the tunnel. All righty. Finishtkuz's turn is now the fire giant's turn. Yeah.

Sticking forward there. Five, ten, oh, sorry. That would be five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty. Well, that's lava. You can't walk in there. He just goes straight through the lava? But there's a bridge! Fuck bridges. He doesn't know if he's going to have enough range for it. He's going to attempt his shield charge. Shield charge.

Nah. Actually, it's going to instead cruise up by 30, 30, up to that point. It's going to grab a rock off the ground and chuck it straight at you. Like a rock or like a rock? Like a rock. It's about the size of your torso. It reaches off the side and it's been sitting next to the lava and it's orange on one side from the heat. Picks it up, drops the shield for a second, picks it up and lobs it right towards you. Princess Bride moment. Ooh, that's going to be...

33? 32, 32 to hit. To hit? Shit. Oh no. Miss. Fjord just explodes. Just powder. The second splat on the fucking ground. You can't tell where Fjord ends and where it begins.

Oh fuck. There's symmetry on the sides of the bridge. Oh fuck. All right, that is 34 points of bludgeoning damage. I need you to make a concentration check. What? Because you are currently holding your spell. It's Polymorph. No, not polymorph.

He's holding, like when you begin casting your thunder step. Yeah. Wow. Constitution check or saving throw? It's constitution saving throw. So when you have to, at half a 34, it puts it at 17. So you have to, yeah, it's a DC of 17 you have to beat to maintain concentration.

It's a DC of 17, you have to beat to maintain concentration. It's a 20. Oh! That was going to be a plan ruiner. Yeah. For the second time. The boulder slams into you, and for a minute, your lights just go white. Your eyes just go to complete and utter absence of image. Just the color white, the pain streaks through you. You can feel the burning scrape of when it impacted your forehead., the pain streaks through you, you can feel the burning

scrape of when it impacted your forehead. As soon as you write to yourself, you look down and the spell begins to fade from your fingertips and you just barely hold on to it. It's like rocketing in your hands. You can see the energy and the thunderous power beginning to build in your palm. Oh my god. That finishes that giant's turn. The cow is going to move. It's going to move? Move, oh god. All right, I don't have movement for a cow here. Probably a bison, buffalo, sheep.

Speed, 40 feet? No way! Cows can move. Hold on, cow. I mean, yeah. There it is, large beast, 30 feet. What does the cow say? Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

The cow's going to go ahead and attempt to attack you? Just let it happen. Just let it happen. Bitch slap a cow. 21 to hit, what's your armor class? That hits. Cow gets you. With what?

What's a cow? It's a cow. You take eight points of piercing damage as the cow gores you with its horn, and you should make another constitution saving throw. Another constitution saving throw? Correct. It's a cool cow.

It's DC 10, it's DC 10. All right, come on, come on, come on. Natural 20. Oh my god! Yes! Damn it. You took 30 points of cow damage. Next time you specify dairy cow.

This has been too much. Yasha's turn. Hey, man. Yasha will use 40 feet of movement to run past the cow to come into contact with Fjord. Does the cow get an attack of cow-portunity? The cow is going to probably turn back and do a giant when they move. She just barely makes it around with her 40 feet of movement to get to you. The cow now blocking that space that she was going to run through.

Does the cow get an attack of opportunity? No, she hasn't left the cow's melee range. I understand. Yasha runs up to you and? Fjord summons the falchion and stabs it into the ground, casting Thunder Step. It will go 90 feet in the direction of the tunnel. Thunder Step. How many times have we said cow in the past 30 seconds?

You guys appear already in the tunnel. Across the way. That didn't damage the cow at all, did it? It does. It does. 3d10 thunder damage. Low damage. Low damage to the cow. I forgot about that. No, three ones, three ones.

Nott. Two. Nott. Nott. Oh no. 20 points of thunder damage. Is there a save? Oh no.

Is the cow super dexy? Constitution 16. Constitution 16. 13, fail, takes 20 damage. Actually, it takes 22 damage. All right. No! The cow form is sundered as the thunder blast destroys its polymorph form and then

emerging from it, the second fire giant, pissed off, real angry. But that does carry over seven points of thunder damage to that fire giant. Hey, all right. What a big deal. All right. That finishes Yasha's turn. Nott, you're up. What the fuck?

What? That's the only one? Super invisible, right? You're invisible. Yeah, yeah. And I blessed you. Sure, what does that do again? It gives you advantage on stealth.

That just means you're going to bilbo baggins your way across this bridge, motherfucker. Just take your time. Your time. I will stealthily, one minute, I will stealthily emerge. So you've already cast Invisibility on yourself? Yes, it's probably been one round now. So there you go.

You have to get across that bridge, right? There's no other way? Great stealth. Your speed is now 35 because you took the halfling feat. I will stealthily make my way to the bridge, just sort of around the... So if you're moving at full speed, the stealth rules, looking this up right here. As you're invisible, it's possible to see the creature's location can be detected by any noise it makes. You need to

select the stealth check, but you have advantage on the stealth check. If you're moving at full speed, it's disadvantage on stealth? I'm trying to remember. But with Blessing of the Trickster, it might be balanced out, because you get advantage on it. If you have disadvantage and advantage, it just cancels out, no matter how much you have of each. Right, yeah.

Yeah, so it'd be just a straight roll. I'll put it there, that's fine. So go ahead and make a stealth check. 15. 15. Not great. Oh wait, no, just, I mean, I also get, I have the hood, the cloak, but it's all canceled out. So, five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

That's your movement. Oh my god! As you come through quietly, the giant that just appeared goes and looks over. Passive perceptions are 15 and 16. Both giants look and they see footsteps and they're both like. They still don't know,

they know the general vicinity of where you are. Anything against you still has disadvantage, but it's still your turn. You still have your bonus action and your attack. Uh-huh, uh-huh, sure. Yeah, I'll just kill them both. Yeah, but it's still your turn. You still have your bonus action and your attack. Uh-huh, sure. I'll just kill them both. Yeah, do it. I'm going to... I can use an action to dash?

Yeah. Okay. I'll action dash, but not up the bridge, around the side closest to me. This way? Uh-huh. All right, so five, ten. As soon as the footsteps start happening, it makes an attack of opportunity in your general Closest to me. This way? Uh-huh. All right, so five, ten. As soon as the footsteps start happening, it makes an attack of opportunity in your general direction.

Sure. It has disadvantage on the attack. Yeah. So for this here, this is with its giant maul. That is a 20 to hit. Sure, that hits. Okay. So it's just a giant hammer that's large enough that it sweeps through the general area and just catches you in the back.

Oh fuck. You take... Oh wow, that was well rolling. Does that drop your invisibility onto your head? Oh yeah, I think so. Don't kill my goblin, Matthew. 28 points of bludgeoning damage. I'll do whatever you call it to halve that.

Okay, so use your reaction. So that makes it a 14. Go ahead and make a constitution saving throw, DC 10, to try and maintain concentration on invisibility. Oh, it doesn't just automatically drop? No. What kind of thing? Constitution saving throw.

10. You just barely maintained concentration. That saving throw. 10. You just barely maintained concentration. That was the base DC. You maintained? Yeah, he's still invisible. She's still invisible. 15, 20, 25.

You still have 10 more feet of movement there. Under the bridge. Okay. And... I'm coming for you, spirit! Okay, okay, okay. You're under the bridge now. Then I will press my body to the bridge in bonus action and just hide.

Go for it. Go ahead and make a stealth check. This is with advantage. Oh, thank Jesus. Terrible. This is stealth? Yes. 18. 18, okay. Just wait, just wait. don't do anything yet. They both saw where you went, but they don't know exactly where you are. That finishes your turn. That brings us Caleb. You're up if you want to do anything.

Yeah, I'm going to lean out. I am going to extend my middle finger to the giant on the bridge, mutter a few arcane words around my hand, and cast Banishment. Okay, what's the save on that? 16 charisma. 16 charisma. Components are an item distasteful to the target. Gotcha. Natural 19 plus five.

I'm rolling really fucking good for these guys. That's good. You really are. That is ridiculous. Big fire giants, they are. They are. That's a plus five. This is vengeance for the traffic cone, guys. There you go. For my movement, I am going to take a step, not back in, but to the side.

There. Actually, and I will walk to the other side of the dog. There? Yeah, right there. walk now to the other side of the dog. There? Yeah, right there. Okay, is that your turn? Yeah, and I'm just looking for Nott. You got it. That finishes your go. The top, Beau, anything? I am going to peek around the corner.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. And I'm going to hold my action to run and grab Nott if I see her. To what? Run and grab Nott if I see her. Okay, you got it. That's her action. I'm going to hold, though. Jester, your turn. You doing anything? Sure, sure. Yes, I am.

Go back in the tunnel so you have to move out to really get a good view. Yeah, I'm going to just pop my head out and see what's happening. And I am going to cast, I'm going to cast Jesus. Fjord, you're on deck. Cast Jesus.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay, I'm not concentrating anymore. I'm going to Invoke Duplicity. Okay. Where are you placing your? I'm going to send my duplicates 30 feet in front of me. Right there. I'm going to make her run out and leap over the lava and land on the other side. As it is an illusory duplicate, it does not need to make a check. It just appears to leap and land. Then she's going to act like she's readying for the fight and getting ready to cast something. Okay. I will say make a deception check.

Come on, La. Come on. God fucking damn it. Seven. Okay. I think it worked. That finish your turn, Jester? Our deceptions are so deceptive.

Fjord, you're up. Yeah, I don't want to draw any more attention to the cave, because that's where he's got to go. You haven't found me yet. I'm going to do nothing. That's my turn. All righty. Caduceus. I am definitely not 30 feet away from that big mo with the... Nope.

I would have to get way out there to be 30 feet. You'd have to get a lot closer than you are, yes. I am 60 feet on the way from Nott, however, correct? You are actually further than 60 feet from Nott. But getting 60 feet from Nott is not... Not too bad. You can move like 15 feet and get pretty good. And then hop back in.

You could do that. All right. I'm going to hop out and... I don't know where Nott went. Oh, that's right, I don't know where Nott is, do I? Nott's invisible to us. You walk out and go, oh, then I would've, okay, I would've just, yeah, yeah, I got it.

You going to join me on the nope train? I'm going to be on the nope train. All right, do you move back in? Yeah, I'm fact of anything. You could prep a healing for when you see nothing. Yeah, I'm going to hold a healing spell for, yeah. What spell? Oh, just Cure Wounds.

Cure Wounds? Just the bonus action one. You got it, all right, now it's their turn. The Dreadnaught is going to step off. There. It's going to use its shield charge against the bridge. Stepping forward and slamming into the stone there. My fake mana core is still flying around.

It is, and there's a lot of people really confused by that citadel. What is that citadel? Ah! We should attack the citadel. Skagoosh! Ooh. Fuck our culture.

Skagoosh! Skagoosh! The whole bridge comes crashing down into the lava there. This bridge part collapses. Nott, I need you to make a dexterity check. Go saving throw, please. Oh my god.

It's burning. Saving throw, saving throw. 19. 19. You avoid some of the damage. You manage to just skitter out of the way. So you take half. That puts you at, it would be 14 down to seven points of bludgeoning damage.

If you would've rolled a one, would she be in the lava? Yeah. It pushes into this area, knocks the bridge over, continues the movement into that point there. This one here is going to move forward. Do I have to make a concentration check? You do, yes. 18. 18, you're fine. You're fine. It's going to use its action to try and perceive you. There's no idea who you are. That is total... You rolled an 18, right?

I believe so. Still cannot see you. What's your jumping distance? All right, Yasha's turn. Anything? Negative. And Yasha's staying put. Nope, train.

Nott, your turn. I close my eyes and imagine my beautiful husband waiting for me, needing me, and I run across the lava with my ring of water walking. Okay, you can do it. You can. You run across. Not right at the giant. I'll go around in a... Can you leap on the crumbled bridge parts? Sure, I'll try to leap on some rocks.

On some crumbled bridge parts to lessen the... It's up to you. Are you going to try and leap across? Are there chunks in the water? Yes, there's one chunk here that is just splashing and hasn't sunk in yet. All right, I'll do that. All right. Go ahead and make an athletics check, we'll say, just to try and...

Just a check? Yep. 10. 10, that's fine, that's the base you needed. Make it across this way. As you're moving, as you rush across, though, the movement catches attention and gets an attack of opportunity on you.

However, it's a disadvantage on the attack. So that would be 17 to hit. My armor class as of today is 18. Is it a level up? Yeah. Oh my god. As soon as you rush out and leap in the air, it sees the push off of rocks and backhands with the hammer and it swings out.

You pull your legs up and it barely misses from beneath your feet as you tuck them closer towards your chest and land on that rock piece there. So that's five, 10, 15, 25, 30, you can attempt one more jump. Absolutely. Athletics check. Bless, it's nine. Nine.

Nine! So the good news is you don't into it, because lava doesn't really work that way. However, it's a lot of fire damage. Yeah, I'm trying to remember where that is. You have to keep moving, though, right? Maybe? This is what happened the last time we went to the Underdog. Yeah! Yeah, it is. Man.

You had to regrow a leg. Yep. That's right. Oh my god, it's going to happen again! Okay. Pardon me here. What is that citadel? This is just where these people live.

It's not in that book. Probably a player's handbook. Of their beautiful book? But they are really gorgeous to look at. They are really pretty. Chris Perkins, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, hats off. Great books.

Book designer. Lead book designer. A lot of fire damage is what you're looking at right now? It's all good. Thank you, Google. I remember this being ludicrously horrible. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad.

It's going to be fine. It took several days of Pike 44. Giving me good mojo. And that was before we did the full lot of damage. Page 249 of the Dungeon Master's Guide. Holy shit. Did Chris just say that?

Yeah. Bless you, monster. I got a plan. This is going to hurt. I got a better plan. There we go. Yeah, I got a better plan. Well, I got a plan. Everything's going to be fine.

Sure. I got a plan. Do you have the ability to roll back time? Yeah. It's working. If ability to roll back time? Yeah. If I could turn back time. If I could find the way. That is, as your foot hits the edge

and just skips, you fall back and land and hit the lava on your back and legs. The ring keeps you from sinking into it, so I'm not giving you full submerged damage. So you don't take the full 18d10. Oh! Shit! Did you take my goblin mom away?

9d10. You should do it. Yeah, it says 9d10. It is. It's ones! If he lets the one out of all of them, I'll be okay. Yes, yes or no?

Ones! Do you have, are you full health? It's going to be around 45. He's counting. Because you got baseball bat. Yeah. He's counting. That's a full HP.

I'm not at full HP. Oh, shit. It's got to be low, then, to survive that. It goes. 48 points of fire damage. Can I use my, whatever it's called, uncanny dodge? It's not an attack, unfortunately. Here's the thing, though.

It's an effect. You can't dodge the fire. Here's the thing, is I'm holding a healing spell for the second I see him. A Cure Wounds, which has to be up next to him. No, a healing word, I'm so sorry. You said Cure Wounds earlier. I meant the 60 foot, because I was trying

for the 60 foot range. I'm so sorry, I said the wrong thing, but it was like, I was not running out there, I was going for the 60 foot range. You did say, I'm within 60 feet of Nott. I'll allow it, thank you. So, I need you to make a constitution saving throw, please. Oh god. I mean, I'm dead, so.

You're unconscious. I'm unconscious. Oh, you're unconscious? Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, okay. So the second I see falls. You see a burst of fire, and Nott's unconscious body is currently in flames. I cured him. The second Nott's visible, is currently in flames. I cured him.

The second Nott's visible, I cast Cure Wound. I cast Healing Word, I'm so sorry. All right, so go ahead and roll that. I don't have to roll it. That's right, because you are a grade player. Oh yeah. At 17 points, you're 17 points up. Oh, you're also on fire.

Oh great. 18d10, what is the matter with you, Perkins? What? Didn't you know this moment was coming? You made those rules? Blame Perkins for everything? All right, I get it. Caleb, your turn. So what I did last time did not work, so I'm going to change tactics and I'm going to cast instead Polymorph on the same giant.

Okay, on the big one? Yeah. What are you Polymorphing them into? A giant octopus. Okay. So that is a, what's it? 16 wisdom. 16 wisdom.

That is a 15. The large giant suddenly turns into a large octopus. He has a movement of 10. I will say, for the purposes of having a giant octopus thing, we'll just use that for now. That's actually pretty close. It's aquatic in nature. It's like and it's like

now trying to pull itself forward on its new cephalopod body. So that's your action, Caleb. I'm going to move it back into the, Caleb. I'm going to move back into the... Nope, I'm going to stay right there. Okay. That ends your turn, Beau, you're up. I was holding my action to go run and grab Nott.

So as soon as that happened, you're like, five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. So you move up with your action. You haven't grabbed yet, because you're holding your dash. I'm going to grab Flaming Nott. So you reach down and the flames are burning your hand. The heat is causing the skin on your face and arms to begin to bubble from just the sheer intensity of it.

As you reach down and pull Nott's flaming body up from the lava. Yeah, yeah. Nott, your eyes come open at that moment and you realize you're on fire, but Beau is holding you. Through the flames! All right, and you're going to go ahead and... Dash back, step of the wind.

Well, you still have a movement and your bonus, because it was just your action to pick up. It's half speed to drag somebody with you. So you move 20 feet. So five, 10, 15, 20. Then you can move five, 10, 15, and you manage to get Nott into the tunnel. Then I stop, drop, and roll with Nott.

Okay, that'll be next turn. Oh god. That's all your next turns is. That was a lot. That was a lot. That was funny. Yeah, what are you talking about? Jester, your turn. Uh, well.

You see Beau suddenly rush in and drop to the ground, and Nott is on fire. Are we both on fire? But there are then the- Nott currently is the only one on fire. And then you guys ran away. But you did take five points of fire damage just from the proximity of reaching in

and grabbing Nott's body. Sure. Okay. Caleb's standing like a doofus because he didn't want to leave Nott, so he's still out there. Kill that fire giant with your duplicity. Yeah, I'm going to run up with my duplicate.

All right. And cast Inflict Wounds at third level. Go for it. Just kick him. Just make the shit. Go for it. Just kick him. Just make it matter. Go for it, roll for an attack. Yes.

Come on, yes. This is not a bad idea. You are their god. Keep it occupied, that octopus is going nowhere. 17 plus eight, 25. That hits, go ahead and roll damage. Five d10. Woo. Wow. Got to learn the names. Oh, damn it! 5d10!

Woo! Wow. Gotta learn the names. Oh, 30, 32. Wow! Plus four, 36 points. 36 points of fire damage as the duplicate rushes forward and reaches out and grabs the knee right in front of the storming fire giant. You watch as the surge of divine energy goes from a blue to a green to a black, and as it pierces the kneecap and shoots

up the leg, the giant just howls in extreme pain. While it was currently focused and reaching down for another boulder while watching Beau carry Nott away, it suddenly drops the rock, grabs its hammer, and looks down at your duplicate, furious. Ooh, meniscus tear. All right. That finishes your turn, Jester. Is that your turn? Yeah, that's all I can do. All right, Fjord. Fjord, anything?

No, that was my action. What was your action? Grab Caleb. I don't know. Caleb can walk as happy as it's, I don't want to give up. No, Fjord's doing nothing. Let's bounce. Fjord's doing nothing. Nothing? All right.

Caduceus. Team nothing. I'm going to put the fire out or something. You guys can put the fire out on Nott at least. No. I'll run over and pat the fire out on him. Okay, use your action to put the fire out on Nott at least. You still think you put it out? No. Oh, wait, I'll run over and pat the fire out on him. Okay, use your action to put the fire out on Nott. I'm sorry, I thought it was on him.

I am holding this thing here like shit. I am holding this thing. Oh, yeah. You got this. Looks fine to me. All right. I'm holding Stone Shape. You got it. All right, that brings us to their turn.

Where the fuck is the dog? This one here is going to- Ten feet of movement. Ten feet of movement! You know, it goes up there and then dashes. What? Yes! It's still no and none range, but it's curling over the ruins of the bridge. That one gets down.

It doesn't know what the fuck is going on. Your blink dog gets into your space there. Oh yeah. All right. Now at the end of Polymorph, it doesn't get a saving throw, right? I don't think so. No, it's just that. It's just that, unless it gets hit. Yeah, that's what I thought it was. Okay. All righty.

Last for the duration or until the target drops to zero hit points or dies. That's right, yeah, it's just concentration. That's right. Cool. All right. Then the other fire giant is going to... Yeah, no, it does not discern that this is an illusion and just spends its turn with two giant hammer swings towards your illusory jester. Just threw it with no effect, angrily swings again, no effect. Definitely knows it's an illusion now, but wasted its entire turn doing that. That being the case, it's going to go ahead and move. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty. The thing sinks into the lava and its feet into it.

Doesn't matter. Honeybutter's not going to give a shit. It's now starting to step out of the lava. That's one leg up and it's hammer-ready, and it's steaming towards you like an angry freight train. That ends their turn, moving forward. Yasha's up. Anything? Yasha will put her hand on Fjord and hit Healing Hands, giving him seven hit points, and yell to Caleb, Caleb!

All righty. Nott's turn. Am I on fire? No. Okay. Yeah, Fjord has put the fire out. Then I will stick my head through the door and shoot a crossbow bolt at that giant that's stalking my friend Caleb. Not great. 16.

16 misses, or it hits, but it hits the plate armor on its chest and ricochets off. I'll shoot him again. Bonus action. Not great. 17. 17. Actually, it hits the armor and gets stuck, but it didn't pierce enough to actually hurt the giant. Okay, that's it. All right, that finishes your go. Caleb, your turn. For an action, I will disengage. I'll go and juke left, right, and then run into the hole.

That's the trick. The second Caleb has to do a hole, I and then run into the hole. That's the trick. The second Caleb is through the hole, I'm the stone the ceiling. I'm making that entire door is gone, it's just rock again. The entire wall closes off with five feet of stone. Nice. Five feet is not enough, we must be running.

You guys, as soon as that happens, you're like, awesome, all right, let's go, and you hear. On the back, you can see the stone's already like. Must go faster. All right, you guys go running, awesome, all right, let's go. You hear. On the back, you can see the stones already. Must go faster. All right, you guys go running and running and running and running. You hear the impacts from behind get more and more distant as you feel like you've managed to safely make your way

beyond this strange encounter from the outskirts of this unknown fire giant. Thing went wrong. Citadeladel. That's going to finish tonight's episode. Yes! Chris, join us at the table in the last minute. Come on in, buddy. Holy shit. Oh my goodness.

What a blast. Somebody wrote a poem for me. Oh yeah. Oh! Here lay the chunks of a kobold named Spurt. He beat his skunks so they wouldn't squirt. He fearted no foes and snacked on scat, but against the giant's blows, he soon went splat. Yes! Nice! Who sent that? That was Dusty Patron of Hags.

Aw. I love that. Well done. Amazing. Well, thank you guys. Thank you so much, Chris, for jumping in. Yeah! Yay! That was such a surprise. Fuck you and your magma damage.

18d8, oh my god! All right, so. Come on, yep, just to remind everyone, we are taking a week off from Critical Role next Thursday, and Tox will be off on Tuesday the 12th, so we'll be back the 14th at 7pm here. Woo! We have awesome posters and prints in the store now, art prints. I'm still talking like Jester. Oh, the shirt. But Tox is going to be on this Tuesday? We have awesome posters and prints in the store now, art prints, I'm still talking like Jester. And we still have our awesome shirt. But Tox is going to be on this Tuesday? Yeah, this Tuesday, but the Tuesday after.

But yeah, we'll see you soon enough. Until then, we love you guys, have a wonderful week, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. Oh my god. And this concludes the current chapter of Critical Role. Your essays on the history and impact of the various ages and epochs of Exandria are eagerly anticipated. Just kidding. No homework for you, but if you are inspired to do some writing, please leave us a review.

Your words can really help new folks find our show and encourage them to give it a try. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. Until next time.