Critical Role - C2E58 Wood and Steel

Episode Date: April 18, 2019

The Mighty Nein explore Rosohna, the City of Perpetual Night, before embarking on a dangerous mission for Professor Waccoh...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole Support the stream by using the official digital companion for the world's greatest roleplaying game at http://dndbeyond.comTwitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Talks Machina, Between the Sheets, and All Work No Play. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on iTunes, Google Play & Podbean following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges (designed by our beloved Critter Arsequeef) and the ability to post links in Twitch chat!

Hello, spellcasters, sages, and spectators. I'm Ashley Johnson, and you're listening to the Critical Role Podcast Network. Tap into our magical narrative by watching Critical Role as it airs on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can watch the video on demand right away, or you can catch it the following Monday on YouTube. As always, Critical Role will be available right here in podcast form on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. And now, let's scry into the story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we?

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Woo! Yes! Yes! What even? Okay. First off, we have our wonderful Ashley Johnson back.

Hi! Hi! Hey! Hey! Hey! Woo-hoo! It's a wild Ashley at the table. We are complete. She appears.

Hello, D. So happy. Welcome back. Thank you. Ooh, that's hot. So that's our first announcement. Second announcement, our fantastic sponsors and our friends since the beginning of this campaign, D&D Beyond have returned this week. Sam, if you'll have a few words.

I don't have much to say. D&D Beyond, as many of you know, I am running for the president. D&D Beyond, as many of you know, I am running for the president of D&D Beyond, and the campaign continues. I think my campaign has been run great. I have a lot of attention and support from regular Americans and people all around the world,

and even better than regular people, celebrities have also endorsed me, as we saw. But I'm required by law to give equal time to my opponents, so tonight I'm going to turn it over to Liam O'Brien to see what he wants to talk about. Thank you, Sam. Matt, if I may. I have a vitally important announcement this evening.

Let's be frank, over the last several weeks, the political landscape around D&D Beyond has gotten a little clouded. In a race that should be about the issues, plain and simple. Well, again and again we see an election process lost in a haze, obscured by cheap gimmicks, third party candidates. And an overall, do not say that name,

an overall lack of focus. And while my overwhelming lead in the polls should be a comfort to us all. Well, the polls can be wrong. Make no mistake. The polls can be wrong. Unlike some, I take this election eminently serious. And to that end, in an effort to shine a light on corruption and illuminate any of you still

in doubt, it does me and the Everlight herself my great honor to formally announce, My running mate. On the rune. There's literally no one you could announce that would have any chance of beating me, but go on, go on. Come with me to D&D and beyond. Ashley Johnson. What? My running mate. What? No.

You all know where I stand. This is cheating. Ashley, welcome back. The tabletop is yours. Speech! You're just talking! She can't! She's not even! Equal time.

Thank you, Mr. President. Oh, it stinks! As a testament to Liam's character, and judge of thereof. He has chosen me as his vice president in this campaign. To say I'm honored would be an understatement of my own achievement, so I will just say you're welcome. As Liam's running mate, it is only fitting that I drop some running hate. What?

Oh. To the people of this great land, this man offers you not only himself, but also myself. And what is myself? Well, I can tell you what myself is not, and myself is not an alcoholic. Okay. Friends, people, voters,

we all watched this week's Talks Machina, where my running mate's opponent came out in favor of alcoholism. Alcoholism? What is this, 1956? What, do you go home and watch Mad Men at night and pretend that's how the world still is? Do you want a candidate with the lily-white hands of a man who has never worked a day in his life, or someone with hands so seasoned and robust, you both imagine them tucking you in at night and strangling your enemies at the same time. There are real issues on the table with this election. Are the people supposed to rally behind a guy who looks like a donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask? Or a tried and true man of the people with a smile that doesn't make you want to drown yourself in hot goat piss. Oh, and this third party candidate, Arsequeef, just wants to sleep with my fiance and my running mate. Right now, yes, we are ahead in the polls, but we

may not always have this delicious of a lead, but let's be honest, polls are meant to be ridden. Only one person, and that person's recently announced running mate can bring order and structure to the world once more. Those two people that I'm talking about are Liam and myself, just to be clear. So this year, hashtag vote with your Johnson and vote O'Brien for president. That is all I have to say. That's my vice president! I'm compelling, convincing. I feel my whole body hurts. I feel like I've been trampled by some sort of livestock.

That roast of Sam Riegel will be on Comedy Central at about 1 p.m. tonight. Oh wow. Yo, Jeff Goldblum mask. That is the best funeral dirge I ever heard. Wow. You know, it's good to be back. Oh, my head hurts.

My head hurts. Thanks, D&D Beyond. Be sure to subscribe at dndbeyond.com. Oh my god. I think I'm going to throw up now. Back to you, Matt. Thank you, Sam. I was distinctly less shark costume this week, and I think probably we'll all agree

a little better. It's okay, take your time. I felt the searing from here. Thank you, D&D Beyond, of course. Yesterday was the season finale of Pub Draw, if you hadn't had a chance to check it out. Pub Draw! From our fantastic friend and instructor, Babs Tarr, who's been helming this whole season. You'll be able to watch Marisha just catapult her way through. Catastrophic survivor. No, catapult was what I was going for. Catastrophically catapult her way through.

Yes, exactly, which is really on brand when you consider it. Sure, sure. Ragdoll her way. From a very awesome beginning to an incredible growth of skill this entire time, which has been amazing. You've all had a chance to see it.

They had me on as well to knock up some of my rust, and we all drew Gilmore, which was really exciting. You can't draw for shit, man, it's crazy. It was really sad to see. Total amateur hour, bro. But if you missed it, check it out. The VOD is here on our Twitch, or you can see it tomorrow on our YouTube,

so keep an eye out for that. Also, as a reminder, many of our shows, including Talks Machina and Critical Role, are available in podcast format on iTunes, Google, and Spotify. Look for the black Critical Role logo after searching in your favorite podcasting app. To check it out, you can go toRoll.com slash FAQ for more details. We also have one more week left of our Kickstarter. Seven days! Seven days left! Seven days. That's your favorite phrase, Travis.

I just wanted to keep it on the Kickstarter. Can we not make it about the ring? So yeah, on that note, speaking of which, Sam set the secret stretch goal that if we manage to hit 10 million by the end of this, we're going to put all in on filming Travis going through the hauntedest of houses. You have no idea. Do we get to go with him, or does he have to go by himself? There are no rules to this secret stretch goal, because it was invented on the fly.

Can we talk to them about us working the haunted house while he's going through it? I don't know if he wants to go have a mask. We know where it hurts. No, it's better if he doesn't know who's behind it. I've never struck, nor will I ever strike, a haunted house worker. I am too busy screaming, peeing myself,

and hiding in the corner. Pure entertainment. You have it coming, too. I'm so excited. It's achie myself, and hiding in the corner. Pure entertainment. You have it coming, too. It's achievable, this goal is achievable. Whenever the world gets a little dark and the weight on my shoulders in the morning gets a bit heavy, I stop and close my eyes and reminisce about the times at Halloween Horror Nights

that we let Travis go first. And it brightens my day immediately. We don't need to hit the list. It's like you have Freddie Mercury with you. Yeah. Hitting the Lodge. It brightens my day immediately. We don't need to hit the Lodge. Sounds like you have Freddie Mercury with you. Yeah. Hitting the high notes. It's so beautiful. Mariah Carey.

So yeah, anyway. Looking forward to hopefully that, and no worries if not, but excited to see this Kickstarter come to a close and for us to get cracking on this. Thank you, everybody, everybody who's put in their support to help this become a reality, let alone on the scale that it is. This is incredible.

We're still blown away by it. And as if that wasn't crazy enough, earlier today we announced that our special campaign end of stream party we're having next week after the game that night is happening with a very special guest, Joel Hodgson from Mystery Science Theater 2000. Joel Hodgson. Still not real.

Which is crazy. One, because they were previously the top film media Kickstarter, and they've been very, very supportive, and as we waved to them, as we barely crossed that line past, and so Joel's coming to support and be a part of this, which is incredible, and it's equally crazy

because I grew up watching him constantly, so this is really surreal for a lot of us. But he'll be here as part of that party after next week's show. For more details, go to critrole.com, and to join our campaign, critrole.com slash animated. And we have one merch update from you, Laura. Yes, I just wanted to let you guys know

to keep your eye, if you are wanting dice and you haven't been able to get our blue Wildemount die set, they should be going back in stock tomorrow. Oh, cool! So, woo! That's all. I just wanted to let you know. What's on your head? Oh, this old beanie? This is our prototype that we just got in for our Kickstarter, one of our swags. It just says Critical Role and Level.

I know! The Legend of Vox Machina. That's pretty legit. That's pretty hot. Yeah, so we wanted to wear it tonight. For a sewing show or something. It's cute. All right, I believe that brings us to the end of our announcements, so thank you for your patience. On that note, let's go ahead and bring us in to tonight's episode of Critical Role.

Critical Role! Let's have a critical role! Roll! Critical! Roll! Critical! Roll! Critical! The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends and the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair, they got falchions and cunning

They don't see over there, there's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice Roll the dice Critical Roll the dice Critical Roll the dice

Critical Roll the dice Critical Roll! Critical! Roll! Critical! Roll! Critical! Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll! Hello and welcome back. So, last we left off,

the Mighty Nein had discovered that an attack on Felderwin back in the Empire had ended with Yeza, the husband of Nott, from long before, absconded and dragged all the way to Xhorhas, to the city of Gordranas, the previous capital of the betrayer gods of the Calamity and now the center of the Kryn Dynasty.

Traversing the dangers along the way, you made your way across the wastes, under the actual crust of Exandria and through into the City of Beasts, doing deeds and making allies, eventually gaining a chance to have a conversation and gain some favor with the Bright Queen herself, the center of the Dynasty,

upon which, after a bit of a tussle and a moment of tension, you bequeathed onto her and thus the Dynasty, the dodecahedron, the beacon of which you've carried for oh so long, which seemingly is an extremely important religious relic within the society. In doing so, you gained quite a bit of favor with this side of the war.

You were given the freedom of Yeza and a few medallions to show your status as a friend to the Bright Queen as you are now traveling essentially in enemy lands from where you began and may run into a few situations where others might not be as excited about your presence. So with that, you were given a couple of leads for possible work or ways to continue

your positive climb within the Dynasty. You were given a place to stay within the Dim's Inn in the Galamafri district of the city. And you all, after getting some rooms and making some plans for the following day, took a night's rest. You all gradually wake up the following morning, well rested. Strange to you all that upon looking out the windows, the sky is still dark, though you still are fairly certain that it should be mid-morning.

You've both already gone downstairs as we left on last session, had your breakfast conversation and friendship bro hug. The rest of you, what would you like to do? I'm sleeping in? Yeah. We're all sleeping in. Oh, yeah. Not. Yeah.

All right, well, that was a good game, guys. I guess we should all go downstairs and talk at some point. I think it's time to have some breakfast and maybe head downstairs. Are you awake yet? I don't know. Hopefully I didn't keep you all up. No, I'm awake. You seem more alert than you've been in a while.

I do? How come? Well, I've been trying to give you more caffeine lately, maybe just to give you a little pick up. Yeah, I've really noticed. I think it makes a difference, you know, adding a little bit more caffeine. It's a heavy green tea. It's the heavy green tea. It's got a good pick up. Yeah, I like it a lot.

Do you want some breakfast? Yeah, I'm very hungry. Oh, let's go downstairs and... Fuck my dad. I'm going to take a little bit of time alone in the room since Beau is gone to just journal and draw some stuff and let the Traveler know exactly what we've been doing.

Okay. All right. Fjord. Yep. Anything in particular, or are you just going down to join the folks? Yep, going down for breakfast. Just the usual, probably some bacon.

Okay. Well, as some of you begin to head down the stairs, and you guys are finishing your conversation, you glance over and see that Gavin, the owner of the inn, the Dimms Inn, approaching the table with a wide-eyed and smiling through a bit of tense crinkles on the sides of his eyes. Terribly sorry to bother you.

Your beasts that were delivered are scaring awake the customers, if you could. Oh, where are they? Yeah, we should. And he points out there, and as soon as he points, you hear. Ooh, right, yeah, the moorbounders. We should probably do something about that.

I think we just let them off the leash, just have them at it. Let's bash it up a bit around here. No, wrong thing first in the morning? All right, I'm open to suggestions. Is there a place that you would recommend us putting them up so that they do not bother the people in the area, stable of some sort?

Your best bet would probably be the coronas, but I mean, keep them chained up, just not by the front, please. If you understand. If we were to keep them on the premises, is there a particular place that you would most like them to be hidden, if you had your pick of? The back, that would suffice. Well, we'll take them into the back, no problem. I'm just going to leave a gold coin on the table.

He snatches it up. That's fair. So at some point in the night, it seems that your moorbounders were delivered and chained to the front exterior of the tavern. The chain wrapped around some of the front porch load-bearing pillars that hold the second floor balcony, and two of them are starting to bow a bit from the tension,

and the three of them are just sitting there, curl up in the front, pulling at the chains, one of them's biting at the side of it, and people are keeping a very wide berth around your creatures. I don't know, maybe they should be paying us. It seems like extra security for me. Well, I mean, I don't know.

I can understand, like, it does create a certain selective clientele of people who feel comfortable coming within a certain distance of a carnivore such as this. Are they carnivores, or are they omnivores? One of them proceeds to relieve itself in a heaping worm pile right in front of you. He's comfortable here.

That giant horse panther is definitely a carnivore. I slam open the door from the top of the stairs. Do I smell Yarnball? Yeah, he's out front. Want to come say hi? Come on, Nugget, let's go! Nugget catches up, still recovering from the battle the previous day,

a little bruised and dinged up, but comes up and licks the back of your hand. Don't get too close to Yarnball, remember. She will eat you. Okay. Yeah, let's take them around back, why don't we? All right. Yeah.

Walk out front. Correct. Take them out of the chains. Those of you who are bonded to them, the rest of you, without the touch of their trained master, in the immediate proximity proximity and a slight pet to keep them calm, as soon as Fjord emerges, the one goes.

Yannick, halt dein Mund. Good. We spent so much money on something that's going to eat us one day. Yep. I don't think it was a good investment. Come. Speaking on the investment part,

going off of what Fjord was saying with security, maybe we could loan them to the local guard or something for a light fee while we're here. I just don't think Yon'Ball will listen to anyone that's mean. That's right, they eat people, that's right. I think maybe if they need people eating, we could lend them, but I think they probably have a system for that.

I'm overthinking it now. So what are we up to this morning? Well, we had some errands to run, if I recall. That's right, we were going to split up. Oh, we were going to talk to them. We were going to visit the library. Yeah, library, blacksmith, look for some general groceries.

Could use a diamond. We could use a diamond. Could use us in some of those roles. Raise your hand if you want to go seek knowledge and look at books and stuff. I guess. Yeah, okay. Oh, we're the only enthusiastic ones about this. No, I mean, that's fine. We're just deciding who goes where, right?

I mean. Yeah. Sure. I'm more of a shop browsing and a blacksmith, kind of. Before you guys leave, if you guys want us to buy diamonds, somebody help, because I don't think we have enough money to buy a bunch of diamonds and stuff. That is a good investment, yeah.

You want to give us all their money. Well, not all of them. Well, we can. It's a really good thing we're doing. It is, I mean, it's just better safe than sorry. We could also buy some candy and some pretty dresses if we want to with our money. We could. How much does your diamond need to cost?

300. Oh no, let's take a look. There's a bigger one, though, now. I place 20 platinum in Jester's hand. You didn't need that. We're about to go find books and stuff. Thank you, Caleb. Jester is going to take that.

If we are going to be exploring this country, we don't know what we're going to run into, so that is for the party. Paper and ink. I think they're all 500 GP, if I remember. Figure that out. 300 was Revivify. The size of the diamond? Revivify. Revivify, yeah, the size of the diamond.

Revivify is 300 gold worth of diamonds. 500 for the raised ed. I hand over 50 gold. That's 250 total. Okay. I'll hand over another 50, okay? Thank you. You're welcome. How much do you need total?

800? Eight would be nice, but that's also assuming we're going to find some diamonds. But we can also put some of our money in. Yeah, we got money ourselves, yeah. You going to give some money to? I'm coming with you.

Oh, that's fun. Here, I'll give you 100 gold. Thank you, Nott. Everyone's pitching in. It's a team effort. This is, again, assuming that we're going to find. True. Yeah, but I feel like there's got to be some nice things.

You saw the Bride Queen's armor. They've got that really cool stuff here. It was very pretty. I think there were opals on it. I like opals. They're so beautiful. They are the best. Should we meet up at a certain time and or place? Back at the inn?

Sure. Back at the inn and send a message. Just send a message if you decide that we should meet somewhere else. All right. You all are going, who's going with you? Is it you two? I'm going with me. And Fjord is coming, too.

Would you do me a favor? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're generally shopping as well? Sure. Would you do me a favor and also a... Look for some fucking paper? No, we'll take care of that, but a straight razor. Do you need a shave? Does he need a shave?

Yasha can do it. He always needs to shave. I can always give you another shave again. That's good, you know, for fun once in a while, but I don't want to trouble you constantly. No, it's really no trouble. I actually really like doing it,

but I understand if you want to have something a little bit more portable. I mean, you're very portable. You can walk yourself anywhere you need to go. That's true. We will do that later tonight. Still, please look for the razor for me. Okay, straight razor, got it.

Okay. You know what, Caleb, if it's all right with you, I think I'll go with the shopping party as well, because Yeza might need some new clothes and stuff, and I can take him along as well. Of course, and you have enough. Some shoes might be good, too.

Yeah, we'll just go shopping. Do you have enough coin? Yes, I'm fine, thank you. What about you, Beau, you want to come with the shopping party and make the flip-flop complete, and Caleb out there by himself? I mean, as humorous as that is to me, I'm interested in books.

Man, crap. It would be best not to send anybody solo anywhere. It's always good to have a buddy. Someone to be responsible to. Buddy system! Buddy system. Buddy system. Buddy system.

Before they leave, though, I want to talk to you, Beau. Oh, yeah. I have a really important thing I need to ask of you. Do we need to step away? Are we good? Yeah, let's step away. You step away. Step away. When you're in the library,

I need you to do something for me. Okay. I need you to draw a couple dicks in the books, okay? Okay, okay. Make sure it happens, because couple dicks in the books, okay? Oh, okay. Okay. Make sure it happens, because I won't be there to do it for myself, and it's really important. Is this part of Traveler Con? You mentioned that slightly.

Sure, yeah, let's say that, sure. It's definitely for that. Also, if you want to draw some people like naked in there or like. I'll look for the ass trumpeters that are sometimes in the margins. And then it'll just blend right in. Oh my gosh, that would be so wonderful. It'd be great.

Thank you. Oh. I just got that reference, Gary. All right, so it's the two of you heading towards the conservatory? Yeah. Marble Tomes? Yeah, Marble Tomes.

And the rest of you are defined. Back at the inn at what time? High 12 o'clock. You've got your medallions, right? You're two humans on your own. You've got your medallions of protection, right? That's a really good point. The medallions that the Bright Queen gave us.

Okay, if anyone gives you trouble, have that at the ready. Not in a back pocket. Are you listening? Yeah. Have that in your front pocket, ready to flash it. All right, Veth, we have it. Let me see it.

Okay. You pass. Beau? That's a stick. You pass. Beau? That's a stick. Oh fuck. Sorry, I haven't showered in a while. What are you doing with a random ass stick in your armpit? Look, we went down a well. You know what, I fought Dairon in the woods.

Mm-hmm. Kevin, there's lots happened. I think you should probably bathe soon. Is it bad? I think you're fine. I don't smell anything, actually. I don't smell a single thing.

Yeah, I don't smell anything. Okay, let's break. Okay. Ready, break. Oh. We're dead. Well-oiled machine. All righty.

Level nine! Level nine! Level nine! All righty, so. You guys part into Rosohna. Where are you guys heading first? What are you looking for? I'm trying to find a fine blacksmith,

because I'm still trying to find somebody who can do something with this. Roll an investigation check. Oh boy. Can I get some help with this? Yeah, you can do it. So you're going to each roll independently? Yes.

My investigation is sad. 20. Oh. Five. Okay, well, be glad that Fjord helped. Half the journey is you taking Caduceus and going, I think it's this way. It smells so good over there.

That's just pottery shop. Okay. But eventually, you come upon... Oh my god. They're so big now. You could drown in that. Oh my god. You know that gif of Will Ferrell trying to drink wine while he's in the moving bed and it's spilling everywhere?

One of these days. I'll see what it says on the ground later, on Monday. Oh my god. That's a special boy. So after. That's all he orders, actually. It sure is. After what could have been a bit of a meandering

bit of travel through your keen eye, you guys manage to come upon a place called the Hammered Call. It's not robust in its size, but it seems well-built and sturdy, and you can smell the burning materials that are used to maintain the forge. You don't hear any hammering, necessarily, at the moment, but it does seem to be a fairly well-constructed smithy.

As you approach the front door, there's nobody currently in there doing business, but you do see in the back corner, in the middle of eating, what looks like some sort of gray-brown material out of a small satchel, a tall and built half-orc. You see a thick chin beard of tough, coarse black hair, bald head, arms covered in tattoos from mid-bicep

right down to the wrist, wearing thick leather apron, trousers, no shirt under the vest, and is just sweating on the very edges. The interior temperature itself as the forge was only probably recently put to use before he stopped to take this break, so it's pretty warm on the inside. Seeming to have taken a big mouthful

of whatever he's eating and stops, continues to chew and just looks at you all with these very focused eyes. Excuse me, friend. Yeah? Are you the artisan that operates these amazing devices? Takes this little feed satchel off

and sets it on the side and stands up. Standing up, he's pushing about seven foot. He's a very tall bugger, so he's about as tall as you are, eye to eye. This guy's been doing a forge for a long time. The immediate comparison of half-orc him to half-orc Fjord is, it's a Laurel and Hardy sketch. His neck has a six pack kind of thing.

Yeah. I don't think I'm familiar with your kind. Oh, we'd, honestly, my family, we don't travel that often. We had to stay where we are. I haven't seen any fur bogs at all since I've come to this city. Welcome. Thank you.

Thanks for coming around. Oh, it's a pleasure. We've been having a lovely time. So I work here, what you need? Well, I have a bit of a conundrum, really. I have this blade that I came across in sort of, shall we say, spectacular circumstances. I've been trying, hoping, as we've traveled across

the land, and we have traveled very far, to find someone who would know how to bring it back to life. It's something I've been knowing that I will find eventually. They have a know. Yeah. Tattoos are beautiful and intricate. Recognize anything on them? Make a perception check.

That I can do. No better than that. Oh my god, my number's now 19. 19, nice. What looks to be just a series of lines that wrap around each other, almost like a soft maze-type design. As he reaches out and takes the blade,

you look underneath the forearm, and it looks like there is an actual, there's a jaggedness to it at times that seems intentional, like it's a shape of something. It's not just the design. It's capturing some sort of ungeomet, not geometric shape. I have a friend who's trying to learn how to tattoo right now.

That's some spectacular work you have there. Thank you, I appreciate that. If things go well, I may send her around. If you are all right with that, I think she would be most impressed. Certainly, it's a little look, but not something that can really teach. These are important to my hometown,

so wouldn't recommend her giving them out. Oh no, I just think she would really enjoy seeing them. Your hometown? Yeah. Where are you from? He gives you a look over, make a persuasion check. Yeah. That's cocked. Cocked.

23. Ooh! He looks you over and grins and goes, You're inquisitive, runt. I like it. These tattoos are from a place in the Great Wildlands where I grew up. The Maraftkra. It's a village out in the Rhyme Plains.

Maraftkra. Yeah. Left home when I felt an urge to travel south, learn more of my craft, you know. Found the Dynasty, and well, here we are. So these are designs of the nearby Dunrock on the north side where our village and our hunting grounds were.

Thank you. That's very interesting. This is actually our first day, if you can call it that, in the city, we've never been here before. Yeah, you're a... Where are you all from? You're asking me my background, I'm real curious now. Oh, we're from everywhere, all of us, different places. I'm from a very, very small temple

that's deep in the forests north of the Empire. Very far north. That's kind of where I'm from. What forest are you from? Well, I mean, I don't know if you've ever been there before, but have you ever heard of the Blooming Grove? Blooming Grove? Can't say I have, sorry. The Grame Wildlands, any of that?

The Grame Wildlands is where I'm from. Oh. But there's only really... You've never heard of the Blooming Grove before? Oh, wait, wait. The Bone Orchard? That sounds familiar. I thought that might. I never got used to that one.

Are you saying that there's Savalirwood? Yeah, I recall that's what people said. that they're Savalirwood? Yeah, I recall that's what people said. You live in Savalirwood? If I recall. You're a crazy motherfucker. That's what some people have said, that's fair. All right, all right. You're so vertically challenged.

Everyone like you from the Marathgra Marathcra? The same, you know, stature? Generally, yeah. We're big. I used to see the full-blooded orcs up there. Plenty of them, and they're a little bigger. Well, one of the clans, anyway. Yeah, not as huge down in the Menagerie Coast

from Port Damali. Oh, you went and grown up in some of their human territory. Yeah, not too many of us. Explains a lot. Yep, well, you do the best with what you got. Don't be ashamed of that, son. No, I ain't ashamed.

Now look at you, you're mobile. Me, I hit things real hard, but it's almost my day in here where it's bothering me with the heat. You've been from the Menagerie Coast. I imagine you've seen it quite a bit, too, in your days. It doesn't bother me so much. Good.

Mr. Fjord has saved my life on a couple of vacations, actually. Yeah, it's true. He can carry a barrel with only just a little bit of assistance from one of our ladies. You know, disregard my little goblin friend over here. She's excited by big, muscular types. I've seen it, sir.

He can lift almost all the arrows by himself. Unaided. Almost one, yeah. He's stopped paying attention at this point and is looking over the handle and the hills and the edges, the very bottom part of the broken blade. It's intriguing. I mean, the technique used in the construction of this thing

is definitely, while we're on the topic, from up north. It's what people have told me. I just keep hoping that I'm going to find somebody who knows what to do with it. It's Uthodurnian. You have to probably take it there. Luthagurnian? Uthodurnian.

Luthodurnian, sorry. Short ears. It's where all them dwarves and elves live together. Oh. No. I keep, you know. I guess so. That's a place that eventually I hope to go to then, or at least find somebody from.

All right, well, if you do, careful on the Rhyme Plains. I mean, my folks from my village are just hunting, surviving, getting by. The Northern orcs and those that begin to push into the Alps, they're a little more bloodthirsty. Any advice, one wanderer to another, if we ever come across your people,

of the best way to keep ourselves properly ingratiated? Square your shoulders and don't bow. I can do that. Okay. Absolute pleasure. Anything else I can help you with Okay. Absolute pleasure. Anything else I can help you with? Any other questions you got? You wouldn't happen to know where to get a jewel or a diamond, we're looking to buy some jewels,

if you would know if there's someone around town for that. There's probably Faden's gems, haven't been in there. Not really a gem-we wearing person, to be honest. Most of the finer weaponry with such adornments generally are handled by the Dynasty internally, so I generally do stuff. You know, I'm trained, but I'm not, you know, a master craftsman, if you will.

They don't let us in all the finer forges. You got jewelry wearings for softer folk. I'm just going to get you a wine. Well, we appreciate your time, and appreciate you taking a moment of your day for that. I come in from outside. Yeah. What's taking so long? Holy moly.

My friend, who I was speaking of. You're really big. Yeah, you're really blue friend, who I was speaking of. You're really big. You're really blue. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. I like your tattoos, those are really cool. Thank you kindly. He's the one, she's the one that he was talking about,

about she does the great tattoos. I do really good tattoos, do you want me to do one for you? I'm fine, but thank you. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. He's really good tattoos. Do you want me to do one for you? I'm fine, but thank you. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. He's really good. He really does. Do you know where to find me? We're staying at the Dim's Inn or something. All right.

I showed him the galleon. We're friends of the Dynasty. We're really cool and stuff. Thanks, Neon. I missed you, dude. All righty, well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of such whatever the word is for your people. All righty, well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of such, whatever the word is for your people. Yeah, don't judge a book by its cover, friend.

You've been more than helpful. I'm actually going to just tip a gold piece. Yeah. Time is always valuable. Yeah, I appreciate that. Keep me company here in this blasting heat. He puts a foot down on the bellows and the forge flares up a bit.

The orange glow fills the chamber a bit and the temperature jumps for a moment. When we have a need, you'll be the first we find. Thank you, Fearne. Wait, what was your name again? Name. Wursh. Wursh. Wursh the Tapper. Thank you.

Wursh. I actually don't think we got the Tapper. Thank you. Wursh. I actually don't think we got your name at all, so I'm sorry. No, I'm not. Wursh. I'm Jester. Yeah, I'm Jester. Hi. Caduceus. Clay. Love the clays.

Anyway, we should be heading off. What's your name? Aleve. Ooh. Ooh. Shit. All right. His name's Fjord. Fjord.

Yeah, Fjord Tuff. Then he kind of. Have you heard of him or something? No, he just. I'm watching this. He walks towards the edge and looks out the door and goes, Hey. Come here a second. I want to talk to you. What is happening?

What do you need? So you said you grew up in the Menagerie Coast, right? Right. Around hoity-toity human folk? Yep. You walk around like you got something to prove? Is that what it looks like? From where I'm standing, yeah.

So let me tell you something. They don't matter. Yeah, we got a history. Some of us, we don't let that blood rule us, huh? I know you feel the anger there every now and then, but don't let them define you. What blood you talking about? What?

This blood, and it scratches the side of his shoulder and bleeds a bit from his fingernails. They're grimy, and you can see the coal and dirt and stuff that's under them. The blood that we came from. Don't be ashamed of that. They don't look unkindly on our kind, where you come from?

Don't get too many human folk up north. Why'd you come here, anyway? Well, I had an apprenticeship up north. Why'd you come here, anyway? Well, I had an apprenticeship up north. I was trying to go for it, but they... It's a bit dangerous in the Alps to get to the sanctum, so I headed south. Dangerous for someone your size? When you're traveling solo, yeah. If you had the right folk heading up that way,

would you consider heading up there again? He looks around the shop. Maybe. Making easy money here, not too bad. Feeling a little, I don't know, stifled by all this night. But, you know, I'm learning, I'm training. Look, I don't want to take too much of your time.

I'm just saying. You're walking everywhere with your pelvis forward like that and looking to start a fight with anybody that calls you on, well, that attitude, you're going to end up shivved. I appreciate you looking out. I'm just saying. Don't let any of that I appreciate you looking out. Just saying. Don't let any of that bullshit affect you.

Just be confident in who you are. Don't try and prove anything. I'm trying not to let the heat get to you in here. I'm sure we'll see each other again, Warsh. Maybe, Fjord. Maybe. I reach out my hand. It goes, turn stops, and goes like. His fingers wrap around my fucking.

Yeah, it's like a. He sheds out an inside and shoulders past you all. Whoa. I don't know how he did that. That was amazing. Did you see how many abs he had? I mean, even his advice had abs. That was crazy. It just broke through layers of walls with that guy.

It was just never interesting. How did that happen? Cool tattoos, huh? Really cool tattoos. Super cool tattoos. They were very impressive. I mean, huh? Really cool tattoos. Super cool tattoos. They were very impressive. And he's pretty cool. Yeah.

He seemed like a super nice guy. He seemed really nice. Yeah. What else do we need? Shoes for my husband! Yes, please. And some diamonds. Sundries and gems.

Yeah. Do you have any shoes and glasses so that I can have them? Let's find some sundries as I was like. As we walk, I pat Fjord's shoulder, and I say, don't worry, Fjord, you have really good abs, too, I felt them. Just you don't have to make me feel better about my abs.

You're taller than me, you're really tall in comparison to me. I sure am. That was just a very large gentleman in there. Yeah, he's pretty big, but sometimes that's not a good thing, you know? Sometimes being a normal size is good, too. What's a normal size?

Yeah, like me, that's a good thing, and then somebody that's even bigger than normal like you are is really good, too. It's a nice thing. Shit, help me, Yasha. No, it's okay. You look great. I look up at Yasha. Yes, you're so close to me in size.

Wait, is some of your family as big as him? I don't know who my family is, so I don't think so. Insight check. Make an insight check. I'll make an insight check. Aggressive nod. I have been waiting for something. That's a 22.

22? I don't know my family. Cool, all right. You've never known your family? Nope, I'm an orphan. Really? Mm-mm. So that guy could have been your cousin or something, you don't know. I mean, I don't see the resemblance, but.

He did have an accent similar to yours. He did. Uh-huh. A little bit of a, you know, difference. Just in the height. Yeah. But you know, you looked pretty similar in the teeth. Nope, your teeth, I don't, they really didn't look alike,

but you had similar accents. Trying to treat him that way. The accents was a good tell, yeah, it's true. What? Who raised you, then? The kids around me, I guess. Just learned from being around other orphans. Wow.

Yeah, it wasn't a great place. Driftwood Asylum was very... Asylum? Like an orphanage? Yeah. Driftwood Asylum is very... Asylum? Like an orphanage? Yeah. Driftwood Asylum? And you didn't even have your muscles to protect you. So you had to rely on wits and cleverness.

I mean, to be fair, I actually was a bit bigger than other kids when I was younger. Half orcs tend to grow a bit faster, but yeah. I just tend to get picked on a lot. Only one of them being around. Driftwood Asylum? Yeah. Someone named an orphanage after wood

that needs to be somewhere else, or really just wants to go somewhere else? It's also wood that if you find it, you know, it's nice sometimes, they can make art out of it. I didn't say it was a great place. Wow. Yeah. You have layers. I feel like I just learn something new every day. I didn't say it was a great place. Wow. You have layers.

I feel like I just learn something new every day. Yeah. We're two, captain. My husband has been walking around barefoot all day. To be fair, barefoot is a rather common way that I walk around, but where we come from, it's generally a lot grassier. We've got many, many rocks.

Yeah, there's a lot of them. Let's get you some shoes. I hate being there for my dad. Super, super, this is rocks. Maybe your mom or your dad was a halfling or something. Oh, that the average? Yeah. Oh boy.

Do I know where the... Morath, is it Morathka? No, Borathkra. Borathkra. What is it? Borathkra. Yeah, I'll get the spelling later. Do I know where that is?

In relation to the stuff that I know? Make a history check. Do I know where that is? In relation to the stuff that I know? Make a history check. Oh my god. Roll big, roll big. That's a six. Never heard of it. Too bad.

Would've been better. All right. All right, so where are you guys off to next? We need to find a clothing store and then we'll look for a jeweler, someone that will sell jewels. Sundries and jewels. Okay, cool.

While that's happening, I'm going to go ahead and jump over to these guys here. Okay, Empire Kids. So Empire Kids. Yeah. So you end up traveling back to the Firmaments and heading to the Marble Tomes Conservatory, which you had previously seen as you passed by the beautiful exterior,

the various gray and marble stone halls, the towers, and the central complex of the building there. As you approach, you can still see the dull green, sometimes orange glows that seem to flicker and alternate in various areas in the interior. As you approach, you do immediately notice that there are a few of the Aurora Watch, the guards and soldiers of the Dynasty,

keeping a fairly tight perimeter around the inner courtyard and the approach to the central complex and building. Let's watch for a second. Yeah. Just hang back and watch people come and go for a second. Not many initially seem to be coming and going. It seems like whoever is there is there. About five minutes wait, and you do see two drow

begin to round the corner, and as they walk by, they both look at you guys and slow their gait and just inspect you very carefully, and then continue walking. They make their way to the front, and they both stop under the Aurora Watch and begin talking to them. One of them looks back at you guys, and they both enter.

That guard goes and grabs three other ones, and now four of our watch begin to walk towards you. Did they show any type of credentials or do anything when they went in? Nope. Well, I'm pulling mine out from my cloak, and I'm just waiting, holding it up like my driver's license. Well, let's just go up and let's just act confident

and talk to them. I am very confident with this, let's go talk. Yeah. All right, so you guys begin to meet them partway? Yeah. All right. In that way, when you know a cop is walking towards you and you're like, I'm going to show that this is.

Show that. That I'm cool. Okay, okay. I am excited to learn. Walks towards you. How to show a cop you're cool. Okay, okay. I am excited to learn. Walk towards you. I know where you're coming from. Yeah, I'm nothing to hide. I have nothing to hide, walk.

All right, nothing to hide, walk. All right. So as you begin to meet them partway, the guards put their hands on the side of where their blades are sheathed, but the one that was originally approached puts a hand up and tells you to stop and goes, Hale, what is your business?

Yeah, hello. I understand this must be a very rare sight in this neck of the woods. Strange as it may seem, we are very welcome guests of the Umavi herself. That can be checked out, of course. Step forward and let me see. Goes and takes it and.

That's Elona. We're just here to do a little research by request of the queen. We are here to see Professor Wokko and to peruse the stacks. Make a persuasion check. With like assistance or each or? You're both talking, so you'd rather both go for it.

Just look them over at... 22. Okay. CX. So they're not buying what you're offering, but you manage to smooth it over. They look confused, but they can't really refute the symbols you guys carry, hands it back over. All right.

Well, welcome to the Marble Tomes Conservatory. Thank you, and I can see that this makes you slightly nervous. I encourage you to do your homework, go check it out. This is for real. Well, I will have to escort you within, so do please walk ahead of me. I will guide your path to the professor.

Danke schon. We follow. Mm-hmm. All right, so, to the professor. Danke schon. Can we follow him? Mm-hmm. All right. So as you guys walk towards the front, there is about 40 shallow steps that lead towards the front of this main conservatory entrance.

You can see these double doors, which are open currently, these very heavy, 10-foot-tall stone doors that are pushed outward. You can see on the outskirts of it these beautiful carvings of some sort of design you can't really see from this angle based on where they're open,

but as you enter the main area, your footfalls hit the smooth marble floors and echo within the interior. It's a very warm, welcoming space on the inside. High ceilings, domed. There is what looks to be a central chandelier-type arrangement that is dangling from the top of the 25-foot high domed ceiling

that is a circle of those same similar green baubles that you see glowing within the lantern throughout the city, but they are arranged in that circle. In the center, there is one that is designed to look like a beacon, but itself is green and glowing from the inside. It's interesting, the green light here is not a sickly green, it's a warm green.

It's hard to describe. The nuances in the color doesn't set you off like a lot of green coloration would. But as you enter the main chamber, there is a semicircle desk. There is a dark elf woman there in robes who is eyes closed currently, looks to be meditating or quietly thinking.

You're uncertain. Eyes open, looks forward. Her hair is pulled back and bund tightly. She looks forward, confused, and the Aurora Watchguard behind puts a hand up and, They are guests of the Bright Queen. They are looking for the professor. I am to escort them.

She just nods. You guys don't see her lips move, but you hear a voice in your head go, better than continue. Ow, that was a hard hit. Caleb strides ahead. All right. So the one guard is with you, there's a secondary guard now, who's behind you guys,

and the other one has moved up alongside you and a little bit ahead to guide you through the area that you're not familiar with. Towards the left hallway, you continue through this bit that goes back out into the courtyard. It's a long, maybe 80-foot hallway. It's about 10 feet across, 20 feet high. And it's got some beautiful paintings,

like mural-like work on the walls, but the center, about eye level, of about five feet or so, is just open glass. And you can see out into the courtyard around you, and it's like walking through a hall that's in the middle of this beautiful garden under darkness. As you're brought to the end of this hallway, there is a spiral staircase to the right and a double door ahead of you. The guard brings you into the spiral staircase and leads you up to what appears to be the interior of some sort of a tower or another smaller building beyond the central chamber

that you were led to here in the Marble Tomes. You get up to the second floor, and this one section has three doors. The one to the left of you is open, and the smell gets you. When you come inside, it has this very nice, soft incense-type smell, like a jasmine or lavender, very subtle.

On the secondary floor, the smells that get to you are immediately more pungent. They are citrusy and metallic and carbon-burned, a whole mixture, and they seem to shift by the moment. You hear some shuffling around, and the guard leads you to this open doorway. Professor, you have guests who have arrived looking for you.

Just as a note, they are human, but they have credentials, so you will be outside if you need us. His voice goes, Okay. So let him in. The guard steps aside and gestures to both of you to enter the chamber.

Do you want to, should I go first? Or do you want to? I walk into the room. Okay. Hello? So as you step inside, it's this beautiful oval-shaped den, or a study. There are some shelves with books around it. You can see there are other shelves

that have numerous glass containers that are connected to other tubes and other glass containers, and coils of various brass-colored metals and small burners. You can see there is a large circle on the opposite end that is drawn on the floor that has different gems on pedestals

at different heights around it. You can see little pieces of paper, like scrawled notes that are left everywhere. It is in disarray. It's beautiful, but a complete scattered sense that almost like this once beautiful chamber was well organized and somebody came in and just tore it apart. Immediately, as you step into this

and look around you, the smells you were getting are much stronger, and immediately your nose crinkles you, the smells you were getting are much stronger. Immediately, your nose crinkles back. The burning, you can feel your nose hairs singeing slightly from whatever thick air or gaseous material is dissipating throughout the chamber. You see, turn around as you say hello, a female orc,

middle-aged, rotund in robes and a heavy shawl on, crazy, wild lion mane of hair that covers most of her face, maybe get in front of her eyes. She has what looks to be some sort of long eyepiece, like an eye patch almost, but it's a long tube

with a reddish-orange glass on the tip. Her jaw is a little bit forward-set, and you can see one heavy tusk that seems to have curled up and begun to at least pierce or push into this part of the upper lip where now the skin is pushed in. But turns around and looks at you, the one eye here, and lifts up the other piece

and it slips down a bit, and she has to readjust it, and it slips down a bit and then goes takes it off and sets it on the desk nearby. Bunch of papers to the ground as she does it. Turns back. Hey, so sorry, so sorry. So, um. Hi, what's, um.

Hi. What's going on? You've, uh, hi. Undoubtedly strange, of course. What are we doing here? A bit, yeah, wow, no, step forward, please. I have not really had a chance to... Okay, okay. Do you want to?

Yeah, all right. She leans forward, takes your chin, and is looking, like inspecting a horse you're about to purchase, opening your mouth and looking at your teeth and your ears, and is like, fascinating. Sometimes she does bite. Okay. I hate that sound.

I like it. Lifts your arm and moves the wrist. I flex a little. They come so taut, I didn't know that. All right. Ferdinand Taut, ropey. I like to keep it safe. Okay, all right, interesting. Okay, and what age would you put yourself at?

Oh, I'm 24. All right, okay, so still in the prime. You, you are? I have no such muscles, I do not bite. He grabs your chin, lifts up a bit. It's okay. Hygiene's an issue. Not that I mind horribly,

but is there a specific point to this? Just let it happen. Curiosity. He looks inside the jacket a bit and says, oh, what are these? And grabs one of the tomes and the pocket. Here, look at this one. I pull out my spell book and hand it over. This one's a little more private.

Interesting. Practicer of the arcane or just a hobbyist? A little bit of both. Interesting. In fact, hoping to possibly, it's not our main purpose for being here today, but further the hobby, always, every day, hoping to possibly, it's not our main purpose for being here today, but further the hobby. Always, every day, hoping to further the hobby. Interesting.

Now, ah, I'm sorry, you were here looking for the professor, right? Is that you? Are you not she? I am the professor. I just hadn't introduced myself yet. I thought it was important that I cross that threshold, as you are a guest in my chamber here. So.

So we're two and two together. Fair enough. I am Professor Tas Wako. Tas Wako? Mm-hmm. I've been one of the top researchers, specifically in development of engineering, and most recently, one of the head designers of the conflict's war machines.

Oh. So, I'm real curious what a couple of humans are doing here in the center of the Dynasty. Where are you both from, and what are you doing here? That is the question, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it's a very unique question that I'd like you both to answer very honestly. Do you have any weapons on you?

You're going to slit our throats? You want us dead? No. Well, that's not going to happen because we have these, of course. But I understand the question and I am happy to accommodate. Yes, umavi.

Yes, yeah, no, that's great, that's wonderful. No, but seriously, answer my question. I'm really interested. We're from the Empire. Yeah. We are from the heart of the Empire. Right, right. Isn't that weird? That's very strange, yeah, very. You could say, you know, we're dynasty enthusiasts.

Oh, dabbling. You've come to dabble in the Dynasty. Yeah. Interesting. We like walking lines and sometimes crossing them. Okay. Love lost with the Dynasty? Have you given up? Are you defectors? Are you just? Have we given up on the Empire? Yes, yes.

We're here to maybe gain a little bit more favor of the Bright Queen. I think she might want to utilize us as her own war machines, if you get what I'm saying. Oh, double agent, huh? You don't have to say it out loud. It's super, like. No, that's exactly what a double agent for the Empire would do as well.

So I'm just curious. Just checking all the boxes, you know, looking for all the angles. I've been here for a while, and I've gotten where I am today by being very curious, so I'm very curious. That's why I'm asking questions. Are you familiar with any of the people

who hang with the Bright Queen in her chambers? I know of the dents, yeah. No, I don't belong to them, but I'm important. I'm doing good work for them, so let me do my thing. Understood. So, ah. I like your curiosity. We're curious as well.

I can imagine to come all this way after being with the Empire. That's a lot of some strong curiosity. It's very dangerous. Well, we are not entirely, uh. Would you like something to drink? Yeah. Me too. She walks over and opens up this cabinet,

and you can see there's a bunch of dark glass bottles and pulls one out and a couple of glasses and seems to be some sort of brackish liquor and pours in a few glasses and sets it over. Here, here, to new curiosities. I don't drink it. I drink it. Strong, but nice, smooth.

Burns a little, puts it down. So... Yeah, our allegiances are a little fluid. It's true. Okay, so you're looking for me? Well, we're looking for a couple of things. One, the Bright Queen herself asked that we see you. We understand you are looking for a little bit of?

Assistance. Muscle? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I do. What is it? Is it personal? No, it's, there are layers. There are layers involved. Nothing you need to worry about. Oh, you can be honest with us, Wokka.

Okay. If you're looking for work, you're looking for things to be useful, maybe, there's money to be had, and I could write you some more favorable things, because this job would really be a great service to what we're doing against the Empire. Well, we are trying to fit in.

This would be a great way to show your support. That's what we are attempting to do, and trying to learn a bit about our new digs, I suppose. Great, great, great, great, okay. So I've been designing a couple of new, some fun weapons of fairly intense destruction. So the last batch went out, heading westward,

and we were going into this new design over at the Steelworks, not far from here, up to the northeast, where the Vermaloc meets the Penumbra Range. And there's a place called the Deep River Mining Camp where the Vermaloc meets the Penumbra Range. There's a place called the Deep River Mining Camp that's part of the Steelworks. The Steelworks were built around it, actually, when the war began.

It's a long story. What was the name again? Deep River Mining? The Deep River Mining Camp, and it's the Icazran Steelworks, is primarily where I'm going to be needing some help up there. There's, it's been on lockdown. It's a troop of these giants kind of stormed in

and smashed up the place and killed a bunch of our people and most of them had to flee to the east outside of the Vermaloc and they're just kind of in a holding pattern, so we. Common or expected? No, it's the first time it's ever happened. Things have been great. This doesn't make any sense why they would do this. The giants live up in the mountains.

I don't know why they're sitting pretty in the middle of the forest, sitting right squat in the middle of the work that I need them to finish. So they, thankfully, had already moved the last batch and the last war body out, so at least the bloodshed was minimal and we didn't lose too much of my work, so that was good. What is the nature of these war machines?

There's nothing for you to worry about. Just say that they're very useful. So the mine that's attached there is a vast iron-bearing mine, but also copper, which is pretty rare in these parts The mine that's attached there is a vast iron-bearing mine, but also copper, which is pretty rare in these parts and essential to a lot of mine designs. So now that that's come to an end, that's problematic.

There's also, well, the foreman, Bodo, he's a right prick. Foreman who? The foreman, Bodo. Bodo. Bodo. He runs the steelworks there. We work together because we have to, He's a right prick. And the foreman, Bod-O. Bod-O. He runs the steelworks there. We work together because we have to, but he's... He's a right bloody thorn in my ass. So I'm sure he's doing his best to try

and get this whole situation taken care of, but one, I don't trust him, and two, the last thing I want is for him to pull this off. So if you're looking for work, I would love... Just the two of you? No. We got friends. Big friends. High places. Strong friends. Mm-hmm.

Go and take down some giants' friends? Definitely. Yeah. Okay. She gets in real close again and looks at you. I lift up my abs, Jersey Shore style. She's just like, just, all right, all right, all right, yeah, all right.

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, so you got friends, you got giant killing friends, great. Okay. So I need you guys to take your friends. I need you to go to these steelworks. Maybe go talk to whoever's still around, if you probably have an encampment outside of the Vermaloc,

not far from there, and just, whatever you do, tell that foreman to fuck off, get the work done, and allow us all the capabilities to gloat that we succeeded where we failed. Understood, that sounds very doable. Great, wonderful. Be a woman who likes coming out on top. Oh, always. That's what I feel.

Why does this foreman not want to work with you? Is he not? No, we work together. Oh, always. That's what I find. Why does this foreman not want to work with you? Is he not? No, we work together. Oh, okay. Is he not sympathetic towards the war effort? Oh, we're both working for the war. Look, you can still work together and still find them a fucking asshole, right?

That's the fucking truth. See, exactly, exactly. So it's just, let's consider it a little business competition. You know? Yeah, sure, he can build stuff. I design it, who's better, right? Well, I don't want to overstep my bounds,

but I mean, feels like you need someone to build it for you. I need it, but could he build it if I wasn't designing it? No. No, but see, you guys, it's a cycle. You lean on it, it's fine, we'll go kill your giants. Yeah, you know your business better than we do. I would rather speak about recompense, if that is all right with you.

Oh yes, of course, of course, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Okay. Yeah, right, and she turns around and there's a chest on the side and she gets down below and turn around. Turn around. Okay. Turn around.

You hear some rustling, a couple of footsteps over somewhere, something falls, ah, shit. I check the peak of my force. Make a perception check with disadvantage. Okay. It's not good, it's not good across the board. 10.

10. You manage to glance over and you unfortunately missed most of what happened. All you see is her returning to the chest with what looks to be a small set of keys. Okay. She unlocks it, opens it up, and starts pulling things out.

She's like, starts pulling out small boxes, pulls out like a- You got a bag of holding over there? What is happening? I'm pulling out some things that might be useful for a couple of Vex Empire kids that like to go kill giants and shit. You're like,

there's a couple things in the ground, scattering of knickknacks, and she pulls out a few things. All right, so I got a... let me see. She dumps out a bag onto the table and a bunch of gems scatter out in a pile. Sapphires, emeralds, rubies, all sorts of precious gems, some rough, some well-cut. She looks at it and goes, and she grabs that eyepiece and puts it on again. In a matter of seconds, seems to do counting in her head, puts both hands down, scoops half of it into her bag,

and grabs two more. All right, 6,650 gold, sorry, 8,650 gold worth of gems, pulls it taut on the table, puts the rest over into a little satchel and throws it back into the side there. It scoots next to the other pile of knickknacks. Or, or you can grab a couple of these

interesting, fine things. That would be. Yep. I know a few of them. I just collect things. Are they items? Are they magical items? Make a perception check.

Okay. Oh, why? Fucking bullshit. What? 12. You can see there's a couple of broken idols made of stone. A lot of it's just general knickknacks and shit.

But in the mix there, she walks over and starts pulling some things out. She picks up one of the boxes, opens it, and, little ring here. I've been told this is quite potent. She sets it aside. She goes and takes a broken sword blade. She goes and grabs a little bauble and rolls it off. She goes and grabs a thick bundle of cloth and goes, ha, ha, ha, this.

You can see this dark brown robe with red and gold trim. This also, I'll have to go ahead and recheck to see what this does, but it's supposedly enchanted. Useful. Sets it up on the table. Do you mind if I check these? Oh yeah, you could do that, yeah, but I should probably check, too,

so we can both be on the same page, right? Sure. She takes her little thing down the eyepiece. I cast Detect Magic. All right. The ring, the robe both give off a magical pattern. What about the broken sword blade? We rolled a damage of...

A very, very, very faint magical essence in the broken sword blade. There is also a staff, a twisting staff that spirals. At the end of it, it looks like it's a grasping hand. The fingers claw inward, but it's all wood. That gives off a strong magical aura as well. It's a ringed staff, faint on the broken sword, and a robe. Yes.

As she pulls her eyepiece down, she focuses for a second, and you see this little flash of orange light in the middle of it, and she glances back and goes, Right, all right, so this ring, it's a ring of evasion. It helps you avoid dangerous things if perhaps you weren't as nimble

to get out of the way in time. That's useful. This is a robe of far patterns. If it's initiated, one, it helps you defend yourself a little bit more, kind of withstand some of the blows and cuts that might come upon your journeys in these dangerous lands. But also on the inside, a little peek, little peek, and she opens up the robe. Oh, it's just cloth. I guess you have to initiate it, but I guess if someone gets in your way, you can give them a little glimpse of places far and dark

and might spook their brain a bit. Nice. No, they're not supposed to have all that fun stuff. You'll know all about that eventually, won't you, wizard boy? Ah. So. And this staff here, yeah, this is a Staff of Withering.

This thing's pretty fun. It can hit something, and if initiated, ooh, it can suck some of that life out of the thing it hit, it's great. And did you cover the ring? I can't remember. The ring was evasion. The ring was evasion.

So ring, robe, broken sword. We don't know yet. We don't know. It's like very faint, it's barely there. Okay, and a question to you. Are you offering a pick of one of these, or all of these, or what is the deal we're talking about? If you have picked two of these,

nor you can take the gems. May I discuss this with you? Or one and a half, I suppose, if that's what you're feeling. May we have a moment? Yes, please, take your time. Could you turn around, please? It's my room, I'm not going to do that, but thank you.

But you can go. Oh, here, this will help, this will help. Do you know that cantrip? Yeah, I can cast it an unlimited amount. I am very tempted by the things she is showing me, but I find it hard to go back to our group with no coin and these. What if we do, like, take the gems as a down payment, and then we come back for an item?

Didn't seem like the deal she was offering us. I'm counter-offering, I'm negotiating, man. Okay. What are you saying? Because we got to come back and report that we've done things, right? So we can do halves and halves, and then maybe we can figure out what we want,

or we can just take items. She said two items? Yeah, yeah, that robe and that ring are very tempting to me, but... I mean, I think Caduceus would love that staff. I don't know, I've had trouble convincing you that I am not an asshole, and to go back to our party with nothing in hand

for the rest of them does not seem wise to me. Well, we're coming back in hand with a job. Pro bono. If I come back with stuff. Well, we know where the stuff is. Can take the gems now, because we know gems are good. Potentially come back for stuff at a later time.

Does that make sense? A simple plan, sure. What are you, I don't know. No, I mean, I want the stuff, but it just doesn't seem wise. Let's take the gems. We take the gems. Okay. Take the stuff! Take the stuff, it just, I want the stuff, but it just isn't some wise. Let's take the gems. We take the gems. Okay.

Take the stuff. Take the stuff, it just, it may be. You don't keep the stuff, maybe. Maybe show everybody in the group all the stuff. And we decide who gets it later. Fucking pigeons out here, crazy. Shoo, shoo, shoo. Hi, sorry about that.

So. Maybe we should ask about the down payment thing. Sure, shoo! Sorry about that. So. Maybe we should ask about the down payment thing. Sure, we have a couple of questions. My associate will start. I will wait. We are very intrigued by your menagerie of offerings. However, it is hard to make an educated decision based on the current amount of knowledge that we have.

So would you be my fair lady? Interest, would you, professor woman of deep knowledge? How about Professor Wokko? Be interested in a down payment of some gems and then maybe we come back for an item of our choice in the future or trade more work for more of those items. Make a persuasion check. Super might strong point.

Eventually it's got to roll well. This is a one. Get that 20. Get that 20. Get that 20. You saw it again! You witness it every time. It was almost a 19, but instead it's a two. No, it's a three.

Oh, we got it. Three? Six? She goes, You see, there's this thing where I just met you and you're humans and already in a strange place with me, personally. So giving you things before you've completed a job puts me in an uncomfortable position.

So if that's something you want to do, that's possible, but we'll have to add a few more fiddly aspects of this deal, if you understand. Are we not walking away with these? Tell us more about that robe, please. Oh, the robe. Unfortunately, I got to attune it to even show you, I think, but if you were to, like,

and she takes it and throws it over her shoulders and opens it up, and on the inside, you can see it's a dark black velvet, but in a way that consumes all the light, like a Vantablack type of a thing where it looks like absolute darkness. If someone were to come at me with a punch, not that don't actually hit me, I'll kick your ass, but try to...

Wait, mixed signals. Do you want me to come after you? Pretend you're going to come at me like an attacker. Okay, I pretend in a very basic drills, karate 101 kind of way. Here comes the punch. And. She lifts the coat vampire-wise, and nothing happens. But if you're attuned to this,

something will happen and it'll scare them off, maybe. Scare them off? Yeah. Okay. Give them a glimpse into mind-bending realms where shapes are strange. Maybe there is a middle ground here. How would you feel about, say, Shapes are strange. Maybe there is a middle ground here. How would you feel about, say, doing a third

of your gems there on one of these items? I'm sure it's doing half the gems on one item. That sounds like a great deal, I can take that. No, no, he doesn't, he's confused on Xhorhasian math. You know, we're still, you guys are on metric system and we're not there yet on the Empire. So. So what's that half an hour?

Yes. Okay. But are we making this deal now, and then we're going to come back for it later? I'm thinking on Marisha to the DM for a second. You're making this deal at the moment. But are we making the deal, and then we're going to go complete it, and then this is the reward

we get when we come back? Correct, yes. So you don't have to choose now. Do we have to choose now? Don't send Nott and Jester in. They're the worst at this. Yeah, we know. We almost all died. You're doing pretty good, considering. You're doing great.

You're doing great. Keep it up. I thought we were doing half, from Marisha to the DM. I thought we were doing a down payment thing. There could have been persuasion. Right, had I not rolled a three! I know, I know, it's okay. It happens.

I will fucking pimp slap you. It was him! It was Taliesin! Oh, jeez! I'm just over here minding my business, worrying about my doomed campaign. I'm sorry, the shade is just normally from you. Who shades with your dice? It wasn't you.

The offer still stands. She will still pimp-flap you. You deserved it at some point in your time. For sure. Absolutely. Oh my god. We'll figure this out later. Can we decide when we come back with the rest of our team? Sure, sure. Cool.

Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. Step forward a little bit. So, um... If you're having a hard time deciding, I'll throw a little something extra in. If you can creatively figure out a way to embarrass the shit out of the foreman. For me? Oh, we have a ringer for that.

Uh-huh. Okay. Just a little addendum, not necessary. Job's not dependent on it, but if you do this for me, I'll look favorably on the reward. Public embarrassment? Oh, preferably. Okay. Deal. Hey.

Can I borrow one of your books for a second? Why? I just want to demonstrate the public embarrassment. Okay, yeah. Like empty, or do you want? Whatever. Oh, well, just, sure. You have a pen.

I have ink. Here. I draw a dick and a margin. Mm-hmm. That's a... But think on a bigger scale. Mm-hmm. Yeah, preferably something more involved than that.

I don't see how that would necessarily embarrass him. Just an appetizer, just an appetizer. But on a related note, I have another question. Yes. I was led to believe by our patron, the queen herself, that we would be able to peruse the stacks here at the Marble Tomes. Is that possible? We are trying to learn a little more about our new home

and better understand our footing here and what we are doing for the Dynasty. It was discussed, and I'm not getting that sense at the moment. I'm sure it was discussed. I'm... How about sense at the moment. I'm sure it was disgust. I'm... How about when we come back? Do some good deeds. Show me that you can be trusted,

and do this fine thing for the goodwill of our conflict, and then we can discuss maybe. Just understand, there is a wide variety of various bits of information that is kept here, some of which is very, very classified. So can't just let you walk and run, grab what you want, but perhaps there can be approvals that can be put through, depending on what you want to research.

Very high places. Of course, no, and as do I. So we can, yeah, we can talk later. Understood. All right, well, we have a deal. A deal is done, great, and as do I. So we can, yeah, we can talk later. Understood. All right, well, we have a deal. A deal is done, great, thank you. Reaches out and grabs her. Her fingers are long and bony and cold to the touch, but she's smiling the whole way,

that one big tusk pushing up into the cheek. Oh. I have a good feeling about this relationship. Mm-hmm. I hope so, I hope so. Good luck, good luck, good luck. Go! Fuck Voto. That's right! I like you.

Jury's out. I like you. All right, great. Go, um, go do stuff. Thank you. And go draw some dicks. Let's do this. I did it, though. I got into the dick. Do you think Jester to draw some dicks, let's do this. I did it, though. I got in the dick. Do you think Jester will be proud?

Yeah, that's a start. As you guys walk out, you hear the door like, staring through the corner, the one eye peeking through, closes. There are watchmen there. Did you get everything that you need? We got a taste, we'll be back, thank you. Of course.

What was your name? Desmond. Nice to meet you, Desmond. Okay, bye. I think he has to walk us back through all those hallways again. Would you lead the way, please? Right this way. Yeah.

Leads you back where you came, eventually escorting you back to the outside of the main courtyard of the Marble Tomes Conservatory. All right, well, that went about as well as I expected. Yeah. Let's go find the other assholes. Mm-hmm. Coming back to you guys.

So, we'll say for the sake of the ease of shopping for clothing and shoes, for a meager price of five silver, you manage to acquire a fine heavy set, or a heavy pair of shoes that sit well on Yeza's feet, a nice cloak and coat that seems to definitely be an upgrade from the tattered outfit that he's kept since he was imprisoned.

Is there a particular fashion here? Do the style of clothing look different than they do in the Empire? Yeah, as far as the Dynasty and the drow, there's definitely hints of elvish elegance, but a lot of the cuts seem to be more geometric, hard angles, and it's interesting. Elements of it almost remind you of how angular

some dwarven designs are, but they go from curves into angles, so it's unique. That's for the drow. As you guys are traveling around, you also notice beyond the dark owls that you see, which is still the majority of the populace here in the center, and the other goblinoids and ogres and beasts and the occasional giant you see

that comes through, like a hill giant that wanders, you only see one as you're traveling through the Gallimaufry. You also see a as you're traveling through the Gallimaufry. You also see a couple of dwarves, but not the typical dwarves. These are gray-skinned, either dark jet black or a bright red, auburn-type hair,

pale eyes. It's unique, you've not quite seen dwarves like this. You only see two in the streets as you wander through. Rare, in comparison to a lot of the other folk here. Yeah, I see. It's different than I've ever seen before. Everything here is a bit different, yes. You pass by a place called Termin's Tinctures and Tonics,

right next to Fadden's Gems, which is where you're heading. Eee. Terman's Tinctures? Terman's Tinctures and Tonics. It's day time. Were we supposed to get Caleb some paper or something? No, no, he's going to get it himself.

No, Caleb said he was going to take care of that himself. All right, get your gem. We need gems. So you come in barreling. It's a small chamber. It's maybe eight foot by ten foot. There is an elaborate need to show off many gems, and even so, most of the interior, while it is comfortable, it's stained woods.

It's the general purple wood that you've seen used primarily through most of the things in Jorahas, but it's stained even darker. Grooves are cut into it, and it looks like gold cord is pressed into the grooves to give this nice trim around the different pieces of furniture. There are two long glass cases that have all these different cut gems and pieces of jewelry that are set and on display with a faint series of small glass globes about the size of a gold piece that are set inside, giving an inset glow. On the opposite end, you do see one woman, dark elf, who seems to be napping at the moment, or at least is eyes somewhat closed,

leaning back in a chair. You see her hair is a little tangled and long, but really nice robe, looks to be a little older. You enjoy waking people up, I figure you can. Mm-hmm, I go up and I tickle on the urchin. Okay, as your hand goes up, hand catches yours. I do not mistake this for sleep, darling.

Oh, were you not sleeping? No. Can I help you? Yes, I would very much like some gems, please. Okay. That's, please. Okay. As my hands cut. What kind of gems? She's still holding onto your wrist.

Like, you know, pretty ones, like diamonds and stuff. Mm. Diamonds? Diamonds. Diamonds, specifically diamonds. Well, we have a few. As you let go of it. It bats you away. She begins to show off these small diamonds

inset into amulets and rings. There's an actual tea saucer that has gems. It's a beautiful porcelain. It's a very upper scale. That seems extra. It's like a beautiful porcelain. It's like a very upper scale. That seems extravagant. Yeah. I don't know. We actually don't need like. Settings.

Yeah, we just need the loose gems. How many? Like 800 gold worth of them. Oh, they need to be one solid one? A 500 and a 300-ish? In about that clarity. Something nice, you know. If you have anything.

Double check here. It could be a princess cut. It doesn't have to be a single one. Really, it can be just diamonds worth. It could be a handful of little shitty ones. It could be whatever you really think. It's raised dead has to be a diamond worth at least 500. But for revivify, it can be a grouping.

So one 500 gold piece diamond, and then maybe 300 gold pieces worth of assorted. Very well, I will look. She turns around, but keeps an eye on the rest of you. Also, if you're trying to cut your diamonds and stuff, and one shatters because you cut it wrong or something, and it turns into dust, do you have anything like that, maybe? No.

Okay, just wondering. I'm very careful with my cuts. Okay. Anyway. She produces a fairly decent-sized, well-cut, clear diamond. It's about that big or so. Whoa!

It would be the equivalent of 500 to 600 gold, just looking at it, or this is how she presents it. That's really nice. Is that giving me the feeling that that'll do what's necessary? It's thin, but it's a wide piece there. It's not like a CZ or something, you're not trying to fuck us over, right?

What are those words? It's a cubic zirconia. A CZ. A seesaw? Oh my god. Make a perception check with your vast knowledge of diamonds and jewelcraft. Yes, yes.

Eight. I mean, it's a diamond. It's really mean, it's a diamond. It's really pretty, it's a good diamond. It's very pretty, it's got a lot of sparkle. There's a scattering of a few others, and she goes, all right, so for these together, that would be 850 gold. Cool, cool, cool.

This is the, the Bright Queen gave us this, where she likes us a lot. I can see that, yes. Jesus. If you happen to, you know, treat us nicely, we could tell her that you're pretty cool and stuff, we have a good line. Make a persuasion check with advantage. Advantage?

Because of? That's advantage, because Laura is so charming. Oh! Oh! You are being punished. Yeah, eight plus five is? 13. 13, double eight. Double eight. She shoots eight plus five is? 13. 13.

Double eight. Double eight. It's just exploding arrows at the dying friends. Well, you see, I've already cut quite a few gems for a number of the den. Everybody is hating on me. Oh, buddy, no! It's okay. You're just on me. Oh, buddy, no! You're just starting. You suck.

I feel my sympathy vote shifting now. Oh, true. Hey, that was my turn. Clever pull-up. Oh shit! Don't be fooled by the donkey and the Jeff Goldblum mask. I have done quite a few jewelry settings for the Bright Queen in many dens at the top.

I hope him's not. So I have the pull I require, but thank you. The deal is as it stands. Okay. 850 then as it stands. Okay. 850 then, that works for me. Here you go, then. Thank you. Do you have all the money?

Yeah, I guess, I guess so. I like that the word fuck just fell into your dice. Somebody mark off what you spent. Fuck just fell into the dice, too. Literally. Fuck. Literally. Fuck. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Mm, yes, 850. All right, so you have your diamonds. Should I toss in 250 to help? Oh, you're going, I thought, yes. You want to give, like, no, it's a whole letter. I think we're fine. What a journey. We's a whole other level. I think we're, what a journey.

We have 400 from other people, so if you want to give 100. Sure. And then I'll give 100. And I'll give 100. That brings us to 700. All right. And then you already gave some.

Did I mark everything? You did. You did get everything. Yeah, give me another 50, Fjord. And I'll give another 50 as well, so I'll give 150. All righty. Is that all that you require? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I think so.

Unless you got straight razors here or something. Yeah. No. Did you make the Bright Queen's awesome armor? There were opals on it. Were there opals on it? I saw them. Those were not mine.

Oh. Oh. It's too bad, because it was pretty cool. Thank you for your patronage. You may leave. We're making friends. Yeah. You have a very soft chin.

I say as I leave. Wow, we now know who the big bad of this season's going to be. Yeah. Marking that down. That's a tough check, now. Dungeon Master will remember this. Yeah, other than trying to find a razor, just general razor and potions, I guess,

but that's just, I mean. That's next door, probably. Yeah. You can check. Yeah, while they're in there, me and Yasha will go next door and see if there's any potions. Are you with us, Fjordy? No, I'm with him. Okay.

We'll go next door and check the potions. So the two of you head into Terman's Tinctures and Tonics. You can see the wooden sign outside is dangling, and as you push through, the front door hits a bell that like. You look inside, a whole series of very strong Sephora-like smells competing.

There is two rows on each side. It's a long building. It's maybe 10 feet wide and about 20 feet down the way. There are all sorts of dried herbs and plants and roots and things that are hanging up there that are probably creating a lot of the scent, but even then, it seems very strong for things that maybe have been dried out this long. There are small dishes that contain oils in them that also are emitting strong smells. You can see all sorts of vials

that are crystal and glass that are all arranged with little labels in front of them. To the back of the chamber, you see, standing there, arms crossed, you see another one of these dwarf figures with the even gray skin, a permanent scowl on the face, these almost pupilless white eyes looking towards you. The hair itself is a deep-set red maroon color. It's parted in the center, and this puff of red for a beard.

He looks at us, So, whatcha looking for? We're here looking for some potions. This is, we're new to the city, but we're excited to meet its locals. This is my husband, he's never been here before. Pokes out from his... Hi.

Do you have any healing potions or any other useful potions for adventurers? Oh, we've got all sorts of useful potions. Look about the side this way. We've got ones for virility. If you say I got your husband. We've got ones that give you strength of spirit. We've got ones that virility, as you say, I got your husband. We've got ones that give you strength of spirit. We've got ones that give you better dreams,

some with shiny hair. Yeza goes up and starts inspecting one, he goes like, these are pretty poorly made. What's your distilling process, just out of curiosity? Whoa. Useful. Alchemy shade. Yeah. He's like, I think we're looking for more

of the advanced potions. Well, these aren't advanced, what you thinking? I just think. That just seems a little tame for what we're looking for. Yes, not sort of meta medicine, but actual medicine. All right, I know what you're talking,

come this way, come this way. We're behind the counter, Shade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all right, I know what you're talking about. Come this way, come this way. We're behind the counter, shit. Yeah, behind the counter stuff, yes. He pulls out these two little tiny, tiny glass vials that each have a chain on the end with a piece of leather that looks like it could be wrapped around a belt loop or something. It's like, something a little more wild, you said, right?

Now, these here, these will give you the drive of a fucking rhinoceros, if you know what I'm saying. Bless you. I'm sorry, I was laughing, I just didn't see his tongue. I got a little sprained. First three rows, man. I was trying to catch it. There was a warning on the door. I'm sorry.

The drive of a rhinoceros? The drive of a rhinoceros? The drive of a rhinoceros? You want more wild, you said, right? Yes, please. Right, yeah. So what happens when you have that? Well, it gets you all worked up, and you just go on, I love.

Oh, it's specifically for fucking? Or is it for anything? Is it not what you're asking of me? Oh, no, I mean, we're adventurers, but not that kind. I think I steered you. I think I might have steered you in the wrong direction. We're not on a sexual journey of awakening or anything. We fight things.

But what's the other one? Just since we're on the subject, because I'm curious about what the other one was. That's insane, this. It's just what the other one was. That's insane. It's just two of them. Double shot. Yeah, you don't want one of the partners to have it. Yeah, because otherwise it would be just like,

ah! Yesod goes, can I see one of those real fast? Oh, yeah, I'll give him my magnifying glass. He goes, ah! He grabs it and like, Three hours! He goes, He grabs and like, Three hours! He goes like, Thank you.

What is it? It's Petal Tonic, it's water. Ah! I love this guy. He's the best. No, thank you, Turmin, I assume? That's me, I'm Turmin. No, thank you.

Do you have anything that could heal someone? Thank you, Terman, I assume, I presume? That's me, I'm Terman. No, thank you. Do you have anything that could heal someone? We got some healing potions. You've got special powers, perhaps? Yeah, of course, what do you think me for? Not just sex power. We've got some. What you got?

Fucking goblin. I've got a chemist with me, so no fucking around anymore. What you got? Fucking goblin's a sweat. I got a chemist with me, so no fucking around anymore. Oh, you got a chemist! He glances over and just gets behind you and hides. He's like, I'll take care of you, baby. He's not a halfling. Maybe.

And a goblin. Yeah? Kinky. No! Yes, he just goes, I don't like you. Do a few things here already. He goes and handles up here. Okay.

Oh, good stuff. You haven't seen these. No. These are healing potions. What? Matt made them himself. No way. He has no life.

Got four of these basic ones here and one of these greater types here Where has the wife gone? Got four of these basic ones here and one of these greater types here for sale if you're interested. And I've got a, no, you wouldn't want that. Hey, you're looking at a goblin with a halfling over here. We'll want anything you got.

Well, maybe in case any of you are feeling a bit ill. He pulls up this other vial that has this weird, swirling, deep teal color to it. This here will kill what ails you. Immediately cleanse the body. Of, like, poison, disease? Poisons! Whatever's locked up your muscles.

All sorts of fun stuff. Like it will restore you, sort of a thing? Something, something flashes in your face and you lose your eyesight, brings it right back. Got it. Yeza? Can you just look at it real quick? Yeza, do you think?

I don't mean to intrude upon your place of business. I just see that watch as Terman leans forward. Go ahead, check, little one. As it goes forward, uncorks each of the healing potions. The greater one swirls it around. Takes a look. As it puts him down. Thank you, Termin, Mr. Termin. He gets behind you and whispers in your ear.

They all seem pretty legitimate. Thank you. How much for everything? You want the whole package, you see? Well, let's see here. Looks a bit... It'll be a thousand gold. Oh, fuck!

For the elixir of health. For just the one? For that one. For the teal one? Aye. Well, we probably don't need that then. What about the rest of them? You're going to be real sad when suddenly

you find yourself turning to stone, maybe. Or paralyzed or blind or... I don't know what's the thing. So what if, what if, what if? He just leans in your ear. I don't think it cures petrification. Oh, thank you. What about for everything?

The whole? If we got, you know, all of these things. If we're just feeling a little crazy. That would be 1,700 gold pieces. 1,700 gold pieces. 700 for all the healing potions. Including the greater one? Including the greater one.

Okay, and 1,000 for the teal. For the elixir of health. I mean, I don't really have any money. Even a greater one. Okay. And 1,000 for the two. 1,000 for the extra health. I mean, I don't really have any money. I haven't been here to collect. What? I don't have any money. Well, I know I do have money. Yeah, you got a little money.

You got a little money. You got a little money. We could, if we wanted to, we could buy them all, but we'll just take one of the smaller and one of the greater's and that's it. He watches, the boisterous grin fades, a bit deflates. Right, okay. How much is that?

That'll be 550. 550 just for one of that and one of that? Aye. That's 500. Wait. Does that break down correctly? It doesn't! The math is terrible!

It's just your hussy and math is so weird. These are 50 each. Oh, there are only 50 and that's 500? Aye. Wow. Maybe the math does break down. What if we just pay 500 for both of those? Make a persuasion check.

Okay. Hey. Hey, it's my first roll! Woo! Welcome back. Welcome back. Oh, oh, okay, hold on. Oh shit, it's minus two.

15. Tormund, where are you from? From here. Where are we? Yeah. What specifically, if I may ask. Here. I grew up here. You grew up here?

Well, I grew up in the Shadow Shire, and then eventually came. What's that? What's that Shadow Shire? What is that? What does that mean? Are you not from around here? I am, but my husband's not. Apparently. He wants to know, and he's too shy to ask.

He's too shy to ask. He's too shy to ask. I think that's near where they were keeping me. Oh, it's down under? Right. Are there many more of you down there? Is that a whole civilization? Are you going to take it or go? Did you say it was 500 for the both?

It was until your friend started peeping. Oh no. The best. It's rain on Sam night. It's all right. I have the comfort of my imaginary husband. You feel a hand squeeze your shoulder. I have the comfort of my imaginary husband. You feel a hand squeeze your shoulder. Thank you, baby. At least you still care for me.

It only took four years. Okay, we'll take the greater and we'll do the- You want the greater? No, should we just get a bunch of the smaller ones? All the littles? We're we should get all the littles. We're going to get all the little ones. Ignore the big. Sorry! All the littles. Fine, fine.

200. 200, cool. I got this, Yasha. You don't have any money? I do have some, actually. I have more than I thought I did. I'll put in 100. Hey, that's great. Perfect. Should we distribute these accordingly?

Who needs one? I need two. No. A lot of people don't have one at all. I don't. Oh my god, these are great. Aren't they great? Aren't they cool? Yeah.

You get one. I don't think you should have one at all. Did that one? Danny Caduceus. Patti? I still have one. You doing it? Yeah, I think we're done. Yes, I think we're done. Thank you so much, Turmin.

Oh, wait! These herbs up here, are any of them? While she says that, I'm going to steal some. Yeah, these ones over here, are they good for tea? Oh. Over here, this way. Yeah. What are you going to steal?

What do I got? What's my options? All right, all right. What's my options? He's pulled, he's taken the Greater Potion away and he's putting that away. There is the Potion of Health, the 1,000 gold one, but that is literally right in the middle,

so it's possible, but it's going to be a high DC. Four, yes. It's really high, though. Around the chamber, there's all the various vials that are labeled for. Bullshit vials. I mean, you don't know what they do, necessarily. Some of them might be, some of them might not be. Get some dick juice, go for it.

It's up to you. Get the dream one. He's going for a win. Yeah, I'll try for the dream one if it's around, if he had indicated which one it is. It's a few feet behind, but you could begin to meander that way as you're leaving and try for it. It's up to you.

I'm going to do something right now while he's distracted. All right, well, you have the two small crystal vials of the- Of rhinosex? Rhinosex, sure. I'll go for those. Go ahead and make a dexterity check with your proficiency modifier.

With proficiency, wait, with sleight of hand? Sleight of hand, oh sorry, sleight of hand. 27. 27. Both of them, gone. Okay, okay. So fast, he doesn't even remember they're there. Sure, sure.

He's like, I wouldn't lick him enough for tea. No, okay. I'll burn through and you'll probably pump out Mr. Insides from your arse. Ah, I wouldn't lick him in that for tea. No, okay. No, I'll burn through and you'll probably pump out most of your insides from your arse. Ah, I don't want that. Do you also happen to have a... What is this called? Straight razor. A straight razor.

Why, are you buying? Yeah. I could tell you that. How much? Two gold. One gold. Wow. Deal. Oh!

Wow. 50% discount? Amazing! A straight razor is one gold. Right, it's $300. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. He leaves and goes, leaves for a second. About a minute passes, and then he comes back

after rummaging, and produces a straight razor and hands it down. Thank you very much. Thank you. Let's get out of here. We're going to go. Goodbye, Terman. Goodbye. All right, we're going to find you fuckers. We have all had a day.

Wow. Pick up paper on the way, I guess? You want paper? Yeah, I want paper. I thought we were going to get some at the library. I thought I could work that angle, but it did not come up. Let's get some paper.

We'll save the purposes of ease. You're able to pick a paper that you need to. High quality paper. Yeah, you can find. High quality paper. Yeah, you can find some high quality paper and ink. Probably not, no, you can probably in the firmaments, not far from Marble Tomes Conservatory, you can find some. So as much paper as you're willing to purchase,

of high quality that you need, you can do that. Okay. I'm going to do 200. 200 gold, go for it. They all flopped up here. All righty. So, as you guys gather up to reconvene, to discuss what you've done, what you need, and what the next plotting and plan is for your venture,

we'll go ahead and take a break. Since we're pushing 9 o'clock. Exciting action. Shopping episode. Shopping episode. You guys want to do some shopping? Got right on six. Just came back right in time.

Yep. Welcome to the shopping episode. I was like, what would this guy have? Then I remember walking into 7-Elevens and they have all the five hour, or the pills for like, really? I'm like, this guy probably had those. Pills for grave power. Yep.

All right, so we'll be back here in a few minutes, but before we leave, we do have our Wyrmwood giveaway. Tonight is the cherry tabletop dice tray, this beautiful little piece here with leather on the inside. That, we will go on to one of our lucky winners. The keyword tonight is reunion. Reunion. So enter the keyword once into the chat.

More than once, you'll be disqualified, and once again, only in the U.S. and Canada, excluding Quebec, but we'll come back with the winner soon when we come back. So see you in a second. We interrupt this Critical Role Podcast Network broadcast to bring you news of dangerous treasures that lie sealed within the Critical Role shops.

Only the heartiest of adventurers should dare seek them out. In all seriousness, though, I'm Matthew Mercer, and we've made some very cool things that we really like and hope you will, too. If you'd like to support the show, please consider visiting any of our Critical Role online shops through the Shop tab at critrole.com and see if anything catches your eye. Okay, back to the show.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back. First, before we get into anything, we have our winner of the giveaway, and the winner is Hitman UPS. Yay! Congratulations, Hitman UPS. We! Congratulations, Hitman UPS. We'll get that Wyrmwood to you ASAP. Wait, speaking of Wyrmwood, can I just point out the fucking dice that they made for me?

That's pretty cool. It says something on the bottom. That's custom made for Laura Bailey? It is, and they put the Bailey Brig on the bottom. Put him in a Bailey Brig. This is. All right, Edgar. That's the Bailey Brig. This is so great. Is that so cool? The Bailey Brig.

Man. I know, it's nice. Yeah, it already has. Is that pretty? Yeah, it's the one that's on the floor. That's the one that I originally wanted for them. Shiny. Yeah. That's awesome.

It's so pretty. All right then, guys. So, as you all make your way back to the Dimms Inn to convene and discuss what has transpired, one by one, you all found your way back to it. You can hear the occasional growl and low guttural bark from the back alleyway and somebody walking by looks in and continues onward.

Not used to seeing moorbounders this far into the city, probably, if at all. But nevertheless, you all find yourselves together at the Dimson. That's amazing, what you just told us about your encounter at the library. Right? I told you you'd love it. Wow! And you drew the dick, too? I drew a dick. I only got one dick in.

You're going to have a lot of time. That's all we can ever hope for. Maybe someday you'll get far. Hey, I got a straight razor for you. Caleb. She's been carrying that straight razor around in her pocket. Yeah.

Pass them on. Thank you. Oh, that is sharp and not real. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Perfect. But you are still going to give me one more traditional shave? Yes. For old time's sake.

I would love to. All right. Yeah. But now you can just spruce it up in between with your sharp shaver. So which of the items do you think we'll take? Well, yeah, I don't know. We had the staff seemed fancy for someone like Caduceus, the robes seemed fancy for someone like A'Caleb,

and the ring seemed fancy for anyone. Anyone? Yeah. Wow. Do we have to decide now? No. No. What, we have to go on this mission? She wants us to kill some giants.

Kill some giants and humiliate a rival. Fourmen Bodo. How many giants? Fourmen Bodo. She didn't really specify how many giants. I think it's going to take a bit of a stake out. Wait, what was the other item, though? You said there was a fork?

There was a robe, a ring, a staff with a withered claw at the top. There was a broken sword, which we don't with a withered claw at the top, there was a broken sword, which we don't know anything about. That's it. Okay. And it would put us in better favor with the Dynasty. But it would also ensure that a lot more Empire people would die, right?

Why so? Because she's making war machines. Well, so is the competitor. Yeah. It is true. But it would unlock knowledge, right? We were told that she and the library contain knowledge about the Dynasty.

The library looks like it contains a lot of really awesome information. That we could use. We're in a new ecosystem and we have to adapt. She understandably didn't fully trust us. So far, our best option, well, our most powerful ally potentially is this Bright Queen. Yes, war is going to be made regardless,

with or without us, and the hope is to use what we learn here on our new friends to enact some sort of change at home. Well, then we have to keep playing this game. We have to kill some fucking giants. Yeah. What kind of giants? Fiery ones, like the ones we saw on the ground? Because those were serious, you guys. I don't think we could kill those.

She mentioned them normally staying up in the mountains and in the hills. So hill giants. I think so, and that for some reason they're in the middle of this forest where their thing is. What is it called? Mining camp.

What's it called? It's like a mining thing. Deep River Mining Camp. You're the note person. No, it's like a shaft, mining shaft. It's the shaft. Mm-hmm. It's a deep river mining shaft. You're the note person. No, it's like a shaft, mining shaft. It's the shaft. Mm-hmm. It's the shaft. The deep river mining shaft.

It's a big one. Yeah. Did she say what forest? The Vermaloc. Is that the lake? Like lock, like lake? Vermaloc and the Penumbra meet. That's where all of the purple wood comes from. Really? Yeah.

I'd like to see that. The purple wood, that we see around here so much? Yeah. Comes from those forests. Purple wood. Well, should we set out? What time of day is it? At this point, if you guys are going to travel, you gather it's probably early afternoon

from all your shopping, though it is still dark. I wonder if it's dark over by the forest, or if it's like we would leave the pocket of night. You would know. I don't know that I would. Yasha might know. Looking at the giant bubble of darkness around here. You're not sure.

I know what time it is, but I don't know the properties of what they're doing. Correct, it looks night. Well, if we're going to be taken off, I would recommend then that if what would possibly be the right thing to do is to load up some travel, travel some food, water, some basics, maybe some slightly less conspicuous clothing

and something warm. You could buy some new dresses. And leave first thing early in the... I miss the sun. Once we've slept, yeah. Once we've slept. I feel like it's only dark here. I've never been here before, but I heard that this place was always dark, but just here.

Yeah. Nearby design. Yeah. By design. Yeah. Well, that's what we'll do. What Caduceus has suggested, unless anyone has any objections, we can make sure that we are ready in all the ways that we need to be, and sleep a predetermined amount of time.

Pack, sleep, and head out first thing in the morning. Get your dresses, go to bed. Let's go buy some clothes. We don't have to play it out, but we just have to buy some clothes. back to sleep and head out first thing in the morning. Get your dresses, go to bed. Go shopping! We don't have to play it out, but we just have to buy some cool clothes. Yeah, we do it. All right, yeah, you guys can go ahead and purchase for each of you a outfit of the Dynasty,

a general piece of clothing, unless you want to spend a little extra. The general outfit will cost each of you, given your status and the object you carry, the medallion, I'd say about a gold piece each. And how about for the extra? For the extra? Yeah.

Three. I'll go extra. I'll go extra. Why even bother? And then just some sundries so that we don't have to have food spells up all the time. Yeah, you can get supplies. Like I said, the food here is heartier and less colorful, but you know how to spice and flavor things of a vegetative nature.

So if I buy everything we need, for how long of a travel, how much travel is this going to be? I also, just to remind you all, I have this jar from inside the Happy Fun Ball that is full of these little bobas, and these will feed you for a day. We have a jar of boba? They're beads of nourishment.

Oh. Good to have it. There's a lot, it's like a gumball machine. What's a gumball machine? And the bobas will feed us for a whole day? Yes. One boba? Yeah. Wow. What else do we have that we've forgotten about?

Probably a lot. Manacles, I have some very special manacles. Special? Okay. Yes. For the purple wood. Let's, let me know, I can't help it, goddammit. How much to just get enough provisions for like maybe 10 days worth of, if that seems reasonable.

Yeah, 10 days with provisions for the entire group. So I can keep everyone well fed. We have Boba. If we want something other than boba. How much boba is in it? Who doesn't like boba? Let's say that's 400 boba. Whoever guesses the correct amount of boba.

That's a rest. For all of you, it takes about two gold to feed the group per day on just modest meal costs. For the entire group? Not each, for the entire group. Oh, oh, oh, oh. So for 10 days, put yourself at about 20 gold. I'll just put it at 25 for slightly better stuff. Just higher quality, just to have it.

Sure, yeah, I'll allow that. For Shuto. For Shuto. Yeah, well. Prosciutto. Prosciutto. Yeah, well. Some brie. Brie? Sharpie. Aw, I just flashbacked to our brunch hit. I know, I wanted so bad.

Got it. There's nothing preventing you from having brunch together. No, but, no D&D brunches. D&D brunch. We should just have some brunch. For one of our games, we should have lox and bagels at the show.

Talk about pajamas and do a Thursday night brunch. A throwback. That'd be pretty fun. Throwback night. I'd like that. I'd like that. Pajamas. Pajamas.

Pajamas. We could wear our nerdy headgear that we sometimes did. Or I did. We'll have a throwback. We'll do a throwback. We'll do a throwback. All right, a throwback. We'll do a throwback. All right, we're going to rest, shop for awesome outfits. Cool, you go ahead and you get yourself some food.

You're taking a more nice rest? Yeah, I think leave in the morning. Yeah, leave in the morning. Okay. Outfits are purchased, food is purchased, you guys have your provisions, and the things you believe are necessary for this journey. If you want to ask around to get an idea of the distance you're traveling, it's a little over a 60-mile journey. If you want to ask around to get an idea of the distance you're traveling,

it's a little over a 60-mile journey. Ooh. That's not bad. That's not bad. You get these moorbounders. Moorbounders. Not bad. So with the moorbounders, traveling at max pace, it'll take you just over a day. So a day and change of travel to get there,

which isn't too bad. Max pace might be, let's take a, let's be gentle. I want to, stop it. What are you doing, my man? Unless the Dynasty had a transportation circle they wanted to let us use or something. But we have more founders.

I want to take a look at the surrounding area. I would like to get a sense of where we are and what this place looks like. Cool. We can ride Yarnball. You can ride with me, Fjord. Yeza, I think you should stay here. I am, uh...

You see he looks conflicted for a minute. He goes like, I'm... I don't know where you're going, and it sounds dangerous, and I'm definitely not, uh, I'm not as skilled as you with these things and your friends. I also really hate being alone right now. Aw.

So I don't know what to do. What if you had some pets? Would that be different or the same? Oh. Yeah, I have pets. Well, I do have Nugget. Can I? Of course you can, he's very friendly. Reaches out to pet Nugget, and Nugget's like,

and Banish, he's like, and then appears next to him and is licking his hand. He's like, oh. Oh god. Oh, that helps, yeah. Good working. She has a weasel as well. Why are you offering up all of my awesome pets?

It's my husband! He's lonely, give him your weasel! Oh. Oh. Sprinkle. This is a ferret. No, it's a weasel. It's the same thing.

You have to keep him next to you all the time. You have to keep him on your neck, because he needs it for warmth. Okay, I can try that. And feed him whatever you're eating. He likes the crumbs of all sorts of things. Hi. Sprinkle.

Yeah. I mean, whoa, whoa, oh! He pees on you, be careful. Oh yeah, I see that. Okay, well, that's better. We'll check in, too. Yeah, don't let Nugget blink away too much, okay? He needs to stay near you.

How do I do that? You say... She's not trained at all. You might want to train him a little bit. Basically, Fjallraven. I forget what my- Maybe that could be a project for you. Maybe, I think I said, I think I told him

to poof or something. I can't remember what I told him to make him blink. Blink, maybe I said? It was a magic word. Nope. I'll see what I can do. Try stuff that sounds like blinking. He'll figure it out.

One thing in months. Okay. I've never had a pet before, so. I have to look through my journal and I don't. I'll send you a message if I remember, okay? Okay, yeah. That's great. Okay. Okay. I'm not okay over here.

Here, take this dagger. I have a second dagger. Put that under your pillow, just in case. Don't, yes, yes, don't leave this room. I'll have food sent up here. Okay. Real quick before we go, can you please just call the old lady Edith and just make sure our son is okay? Of course, I wish you would have had me do it last night, but cool. Sorry. Yeah, I'll do it.

I don't know how magic works. Yes, you do. Yes, you do! I do. Okay, I'm going to send Old Lady. Why can't I just send it to Luc? I don't want her to be scared. I could sound really nice.

You'll say something that's just like, hey, me and your mom are going to go fight a giant. I won't say that. All right, go straight to Luc then. Really? Sure. Be nice. Okay. Don't say holla.

Okay. Are you with me on this? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's traditional Zen. Hey Luc. It's the blue lady you met that one time. I'm with your mom and your dad. They love you, they're cool, and okay.

Are you okay? Are you okay? Two, though. Yeah, I think that was a good amount of good. Are you okay, too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. I don't know where this is coming from, but I... Wow. Hello?

I don't hear you anymore. Oh no. Are you there? Oh god. Oh no. Hello? What is happening Oh no. Hello? What is happening tonight? Blue Lady? Blue Lady, I can't hear you any.

The image just cuts off. He sounds like he's pretty good. Okay. It's just like the kid who opened this closet that one time and there's a fucking troll in there, close and run, the rest of his life. He knows something happened even though it was gone when he went to check again.

Never okay again. I'm not saying that happens. Totally alive and he sounded really healthy and stuff. Okay, just going for life now. All right, don't die, stay here, stay safe. We'll be back in three days. Maybe four. Three, one to travel, one to kill,

and one to come home. Two to travel, two to kill, two to get home. Oh. It's just paddle water. I know. Well, good luck, guys. Be careful. I'll take care, oh, it's tickling.

I'll take care of your pets, Miss Jester. Oh. And I'll let you guys take care of yourselves. I'll take care of Veth. We'll make sure nothing happens to her. Thank you. Oh, these knives are pretty cool. Living with a bit of money, too, I assume.

Sure, sure, sure, here, take 20 platinum. Ah! What have you? Sorry, 10 platinum. I'm in the wrong line of work. Okay, well, goodbye. Let's go. Okay.

Beth. Be careful, okay? I'll take care of them. Love you. I love you, too. He closes the door. Aw. Did you always not say I love you very loud, guys? I just don't want to say it in front of you guys,

because you make fun of me. What if we die when we're out and you never said it again? I said it! I just coughed it. You should go back in there and see how much you loved him. We could go away. Go on in there right now. I love you! No!

You hear the daggers, from the ground. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. I feel better, I feel better. Look at you, you sensitive lot. Just beautiful. This is beautiful. This is good. Let's go kill something.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, you gather up your moorbounders, calm them down, take the chains off. They are still prepped for writing. What's the writing arrangement here? We got Clarabelle, anybody who's feeling pretty confident. She's a little all over the place, but all right.

I'll give it a try. All right. Yeah. Yeah. You're with me. Okay. Yannick is angry and likes to kill. I'll be on Yannick. I'll go with Yarnball. Yeah, I'll stick with Yarnball, too.

That sounds fun. Okay. Yeah, I'll stick with Yarnball, too. That sounds fun. Yeah. Okay. All righty. So, as you all mount up, where are you going? To? Did she tell us where to go? She didn't. Fuck.

I thought, okay. She said northwest towards where the Penumbra Wildlands hits the, where the Penumbra Range hits the Vermaloc. Oh my god, we're going to have to go through the Ghostlands. Oh no, do you have to go through the Ghostlands? You ask around and you do. But there are two roads. There are two roads that are well guarded that exit,

one that heads northwest, one that heads northeast. So you'd want to take the one that goes to the northwest. We'll take the one we just traveled. Are we jumping past clothes was bought already? We're saying that already happened? Do you have some specific clothes? No. We'll figure that out later. What?

You don't want to describe your clothes? I just bought a cloak. You just bought a cloak? A cloak to cover clothes I already have. I bought a fucking dress. As did I. Not squirting a dress? Took off all that shit. I don't need that shit around here.

What about your mask? No, I don't need that here. Oh my god. Around these parts, I'm fucking beautiful. We've got to do this, then. That trick you used to make I need that here. Oh my god. Around these parts, I'm fucking beautiful. Oh, well. We've got to do this, then. That trick you use to make windows open and close,

you do all kinds of things with it. Can you make this lather? Can you lather this? It's not like that sort of thing. I can make it sound like you've got bugs in your beard? Does anyone, Caduceus, do you have any soap? I do not have any soap. Well, actually, hold on, I haven't looked in my bag in a while.

I mean, technically, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I take one of the bobas out of that jar and I mash it up. Sure. I'm going to just. Actually, I have enough of a tea set that I can probably turn that into a lather with it. My beard is already full of boba.

Never mind, that's beautiful. Yasha. That's so nourishing. If you would, please. Yes, would you like me to use? Would you shave me, please? With the sword? With the sword, or do you want me to try with the? No, do the sword.

Oh, you want to do a little razor? I've never done it. I feel more comfortable with the sword. I know, I think we should do it with the sword. Yeah, okay. One last time. One last time. Time to cure wounds on the ready.

Okay. Ready? Lay down. I go to town. Okay. Ready? Lay down. I go to town. Okay. Once again, I'll remind you, it is a greatsword. It is heavy. Just go slow.

Slow. And so it lacks the, you can get towards the tip and by holding it, jamming in the nooks and crannies. I will ask you to go ahead and roll a dexterity check for me. Okay. Okay. Uh-oh.

Wait, hold on, I feel like I have advantage on dex for something. You're dex saving throws, but not dex checks. This is not a saving throw. Eight. Okay. Ooh. I'm going to Tuskhole. Remember Van Gogh. There is a...

At first, it's a little scary, but you've been here before, and it's comfortable. There is a... At first, it's a little scary, but you've been here before, and it's comfortable. Then there's the first. Oh, that hurt, but it's going to happen. Go, go! Go! Oh, that's warm, that's warm. Oh god.

There's bleeding. You nicked him right in the ear, and there's about an inch long gash that's bleeding. Yeah, you know, maybe the straight razor is the way to go. I think the straight razor's the best. You do take a point of damage. Okay. Oh fuck.

I'm feeling a little faint, I'll be right back, and I stumble off towards the water closet. And I do my best to stop the bleeding. 10 minutes goes by before you see me again. Before I come back, I take out the straight razor, and it hurts, but slowly shave away the entire beard clean. Yeah. You take the time for it, you manage to do so.

Okay. But you got half of it, you manage to do so. Okay. But you got half of it, I mean, that's good. Yeah, I got a good amount. I also unwrap my arms and take those and throw them on the ground and rejoin the group. Okay. I remember and I rush into the room with Yeza. Hom! What? That's the net, that's what you tell, I remember and I rush into the room with Yeza.

Home! What? That's what you tell Nugget. Okay. Link. Home? Home. Home. Home. Nugget. He's home.

Just for now. Make an animal handling check. Yeah, sure, sure, that's fine. About as good, 11. 11, okay. Oh, you're so cute, I love it. Oh, you're so cute, I love you. Yeza really tried to do something with this dog. Why haven't you trained him better already? I've literally just got the weasel from biting my ear.

It's big. Door closes as you leave. All right. Freshly shaven, freshly perturbed Yeza. You guys freshly hit volume. You gather atop your moorbounders and and you're used to horseback, where it's a steady thing.

This is. It's a very unique process of heavy bobs and impacts. It leaps and runs like a panther from edge to edge. It's a lot of springing and catching, springing and catching with respect to the roads and streets. It makes its way through the Gallimaufry, watches buildings and lights, the green glows,

the red glows, everything just whooshing by. These creatures are not common to this part of Xhorhas, and so people in the streets turn around and watch you just whiz by. Or our watch look out and go, what? And you guys just cruise past.

Eventually, heading further and further north, you make your way out of the Gallimaufry into the Coronas. The Coronas, you now see, are the poorer area of the city and where a lot more of the non-drow seem to live, or at least are coming towards. You can see large, heavy stacks upon stacks of goblin domiciles that look rickety and ready to fall over any minute.

You can see heavy mud clay homes that are built for ogres and other such goblinoids that have found a place here. You can see the exterior walls that mark the barrier between the Coronas and the Ghostlands. As you skirt around to the left to find the nearest pathway out, eventually you come across the first main gate that exits, what you assume to be the road that exits

to the direction you need to travel. Heading to the front gate, as you bound up into the front area, looks to be 10 or a watch are there, just keeping the gate closed at the moment. As you all begin to approach, they all some pull out weapons, like swords, or have spears at the ready, and they just raise a hand in defense and say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

One of them looks out and tells you, What is your business? Where are you going? We're running an errand for Professor Wacco. You're heading out this way. We're going to, where are we going to? The Deep River Mining Camp. Is that this way?

All right. Up on the top, what you didn't see at the top of the wall, there are two folks on each side that have these large, heavy winches. They begin to hear the chains, get taut, and begin to grind upwards towards Unseen Gears, and the doors begin to open outward.

At this point, the first thing you see before you is this nice, solid, hard-packed earth road, maybe 20 feet across side to side. As it continues forward, beyond that, you can see what seems like an endless horizon of broken ruins. Structures and buildings and towers and other walls and hooked spires all crumbled and broken and burned and charred.

Everything seems to have a layer of black carbon dust across it. You can see twisted bits of metal that are mostly covered It seems to have a layer of black carbon dust across it. You can see twisted bits of metal that are mostly covered by ash and soot that still rest amongst. This is an ancient warground that has long since been slowly overtaken by the falling of rain and mud

and other weather that has come through and rusted or eroded what remains. You can see along the way, pairs of aroar watch just patrolling the edges of the road. Right beyond the wall, as you step out, on the outskirts of it, pressed up against the wall, you can see collections of tents and stick huts and what looks to be folks that either haven't made their way into the Coronas or are trying to find

their way outward to build a homestead on the outskirts. But as the gates open, you can see about half dozen or so goblin children rush out to seek. They watch quietly as you all make your way out before the gates close behind you. Cold wind picks up, pushing your hair back a bit. Chills run down your spine. You can feel the goosebumps across your skin. Looking out, even though it would be

a mid-afternoon, looks like it's the pitchest dark midnight with a faint hue of white moonlight gently causing the outline rim of these structures to be visible from your standpoint. The road continues on what seems like an endless path into the horizon. The moorbounders take off, picking up speed, and you can hear the heavy

with each leap and footfall, the dust and dirt collecting behind it. Those, probably Clarabelle will be in the back. Occasionally, the clouds of dust and ash that kicked up rush past you and you have to guard yourself and it gets in your eyes a bit and you have to wince and clear it out.

Jannik, schnell. As you guys continue to, moving forward, eventually coming to an even ground, you'll be traveling alongside each other, same pace. You catch off in the distance, you swear a couple times, you glance over towards the ruins, and you see the faint lights just spark. Eyes of the Grave.

What's the range on that one? 60 feet. 60 feet. Too far away, unfortunately, initially, but you see just a light and it's gone. You're like, that was strange. You look off this way and you see another. There's a lot around us. You continue on, continue on. Keeping your eyes peeled, you focus forward, but are tending all of your brain power towards your peripheral, looking for any other sign

of shifting or movement. You do see some creatures over to the right of you, and you look and you can see what looks to be a group of about a dozen or so, a mix of mostly bugbears and a handful of goblins. You see them rummaging through some of the leftover ruins, and they have a little cart, and they're throwing things onto it.

Looks like they're scavenging, essentially, what they can find in the vicinity. Moving on just a moment later, and you see, emerging out of some of the ruin here, a pale blue glow in what looks to be a female figure that drifts out of the ground. Before it, there's a ghost. Where? Over there.

You glance over and you straight up see what looks to be a spectral female that is drifting through a stone wall. Nope, no, that is a humanoid jellyfish. It was really pretty. Keep your eyes forward. That's so sad. Why?

It's just here and unconnected. It's sad to be unconnected. Hmm. Wish I could do something. A little ways ahead, about a quarter mile or so, you see another faint glow, and you can see some of the patrols are rushing towards it. As you get closer and closer, as you catch up quickly, it looks like one of these entities has wandered into the road, and the guards have come forward with what could be silvered spears or some sort of

weapon designed specifically for the protection of this trek, and they manage to pierce its ethereal shell, and you watch as it dissipates. Is that one of the floating lights, or a form like a humanoid form? This one, just as you can, it looks to be a more humanoid form before it dissipates.

Does it dissipate, do what I know, if they're banishing it, or is it gone forever? Like, are they just, is it just? Roll a religion check. That I can do. 15. 15? You're not sure the nature, some undead, it's temporary,

some it is a permanent dissip sure of the nature. Some undead, it's temporary. Some, it is a permanent anticipation of the spirit. You were unable to really tell for this one. It could be either. You do know that it is possible. There's weird stuff going on around here. Can we just slow down enough to ask the guards, what kind of spears do you use for the ghosts? These are anointed.

Oh. Keeps them at bay, off of the path. We're travelers, and I hope you don't mind the question. What happened here? Do you not know the history of this land? Not this part of the history, no. This is one of the final battlegrounds when the gods still walk the earth.

This is one of the places the betrayers were brought to their knees and vanished. And these spirits? These were the many, many, many, many thousands, tens, thousands, millions, I don't know, that were destroyed in the culmination of that battle. What are you doing to them? Keeping them from harrying you as you travel.

Wandering too close to the city. I'm surprised the city hasn't expanded this far out yet, or tried to do something to retake this land. The city was once much smaller, but it's slowly building out, but it is a process. Are they still building out, or? As they go, yes.

They said it's been a while since they added a new gate or a wall or anything. Oh. Do you know how long it's been since they've built a new wall? Not off the top of my head, no. I just run the street patrol. Well, thank you so much for keeping us safe. Look.

We're traveling up to Deep River. It's a ways, can we expect guards like you along the way the entire time? Only until you get out of the Ghostlands. Our patrol only goes to the perimeter and back. All right. Thank you. Of course.

He turns around, a strange glance towards the clean-shaven human, not a common sight that passes them by on these main roads this far east. Continuing your journey, bounding further down the road, still seeing the occasional. For an instant, you think you see a large one loom up, a figure that's fainter than others you've seen, but the shape is larger.

It seems to resemble a slow-moving wave, like a hand or something that curls over a ruin before it dissipates in the mist. The mist is heavy the further out you go. You can see the tops of the ruins, but a lot of the area seems to be fully encompassed by this low-hanging fog that obscures most of the floor. About, let's say,

six or seven hours of travel, the ruins give way. You find yourself, it's just an open field now. Still black? Still dark, and now it should be dark. You have officially hit nighttime, so no idea if the transition has occurred yet, or if it will, but you're now mid-evening, pushing, let's say, 10 o'clock-ish.

You're making your way further down the road, heading in that direction. You push on until about midnight or so. You've now been going for, I'd say, about close to eight hours. Your moorbounders are starting to slow a bit. You can hear the of fatigue. You round Yannick about and stop the group.

This is quite a ways camp for the night. Are we out of the Ghostlands? You seem to, from a visual standpoint, to be most we out of the Ghostlands? You seem to, from a visual standpoint, to be most likely out of the Ghostlands. Just want to make sure that Yarnball is safe when we're in our little tent thing. I think Yarnball can take care of Yarnball. He's pretty sweet.

I think they'll be all right. I'll do a little check to make sure everything's okay. How long are the moorbounders from end to end? End to end, I'd say, from the tail, they're about 16 feet, maybe? 16 feet.

Like 14 to 16 feet, yeah. Okay. Big boys. They're not coming here. Just big boys. No. Okay. Big boys. They're not coming here. They're big boys. No, no. Big boys. Yeah, they're like riding bison, kind of. Like slick, lean bison.

Should we camp, is there a place around here with wreckage or rubble or something that we can camp around, or is it just all open? Currently, from where you're standing on the road, it is open. It is just cracked, packed dirt and rock, occasional bits of dried brush and scrub bushes around. While there is definitely the low fog and mist seems to have permeated the vicinity

based on the temperature and time of night. Added an element of moisture, the ground itself does not appear to be slick or muddy. It's pretty dry here. Why don't I set up the dome a little bit off of the road? Yeah. Sure.

More bounders can sleep around it. Mm-hmm. Okay. Works. can sleep around it. Mm-hmm. It works. I'm going to push another Eyes of the Grave just while we're walking around. I'm just going to see if anything pings. Okay. Concentrate, focus around you.

Seems to be pretty safe. Okay. Okay. You guys manage to set up camp that evening, using your hut to keep yourselves safe. The more bounders can hold a perimeter, and you take a night's rest. Uneventful, off the road.

When the morning comes, it is light. Ooh. Yes. The sky itself is still clouded. There is no direct sunlight. It is still a fairly gray sky, but it is a lighter sky. It is a day, and it's been a little bit.

The dome is somewhat filled with the sound of Frumpkin purring heavily, making biscuits in Jester's clothes, in her sleeping foam. Psst. Hi. I screech the ears. Don't tell Caleb. And then I give a little bit of pastry to Frumpkin. Yeah.

Cool. Caleb, can I keep Rumpkin forever? Yeah. Yes! Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Morning!

Good morning, everyone. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Was there any more specifics about where this giant was? I think we're going to talk to people at the mines, I imagine. Are there people at the mines? There are people at the mines.

Oh, okay. It's a chilly morning. Little bits of nearby dried brush have a faint layer of frost across the top of them, giving them a slight grayish-white hue. Ooh, I bring out that little rod of hand warming that we got in the... Does anybody need a little hand warming? I'll never say no to that. That's good.

Does it do feet, too? Mm-hmm. You can hold on to it. It warms your hands up. It's nice. Oh, that's good. Pass it around. Mm. Mm. More bounders.

Good, thank you. As they're waiting, there appears to be mostly picked clean carcass of what looked to be a large wolf that is mostly just blood-slick bones and some torn fur. All the moorbounders at the front of their mouths are caked with red,

and they're just their eyes bugging out the side. Just. Nice! Good job, buds! Got a snack? Who's a good apex predator? Let's see if I can leave us a little patch of something growing in whatever's left. Easily enough to do, so go ahead and use your cantrip to decompose and you watch as even the moisture

from the morning especially makes it easy to be conducive to this as a faint bit of soft reddish moss begins to grow around the areas where the visible wounds are across the flesh. No, when we come back. Oh, good call. All right, let's make Haywell the sunshines, shall we? Woohoo! All right, let's make Hayworld a sunshines, shall we? Woohoo!

All right, you continue on the path. No more guard. The morning air is welcome. As it rushes past, it is still cold, though, and at this pace you're going, it's having to pull the hood up and try not to immediately frost the front of your face, but it does get warmer as the morning progresses.

Eventually, you see what you assume to be the Vermaloc, the edges of it, as the Penumbra Range, which is a dark, gray-black mountain range, begins to, to the left of you, give way to dense canopy of deep reds, maroons, oranges. It's a forest of perpetual fall. The leaves themselves, vibrant red earth tones.

What bits you can see as you get closer and closer to it, the trees themselves, the ones you can see on the tree line, about 12 feet up to the canopy's beginning, but even thin on the outside of the tree line, the actual trees themselves are smooth purple bark. Is this the trees you were talking about, Yasha? Yes. Beautiful.

Yeah, it's beautiful. Have you seen these kind of trees before? Yes, I have. I have. But just the end of this forest. I've never been up this high. But you lived kind of close? Ah, close enough. Were you an arborist?

I don't know if I know what that is. I know what that is. A tree scientist? Well, if I don't know what it is, I would. Okay, then, no. I wish I were, that sounds very cool. But you lived right around here? Not around here, no.

Further south. This is your home. I put my hood up and just tuck. That's beautiful. I put my hood up and just tuck. That's beautiful. You guys get closer and closer until eventually you pick up first, because you led. Actually, Jester, Caleb, Beauregard, and Caduceus all can see there's some lazy trails of smoke that break the gray skyline ahead of you. Above, following those down, you can see there's some lazy trails of smoke that break the gray skyline ahead of you.

Above, following those down, you can see it looks to be a cluster of tents or cloth abodes of some kind. You can see little elements that look like small temporary domiciles. It's clean smoke, not, oh god, something just caught fire. It's clean smoke, not, oh god, something just caught fire. It's clean smoke.

Yeah, it's like white and gray. Could be the mine. Could be the mine, at the very least. The mine! At the very least, it's somewhere to rest for a spell. As you get closer, you begin to make out the details of it to see what appears to be a host of tents,

workers, and soldiers. Ooh. They're settled haphazardly upon the hard rocky floor of this valley. The somewhat disheveled folk pile their tools on one end and their weapons on the other. You can see the presence of a war watch soldiers is minimal. As you get closer, you can see maybe amongst

about 14 or so soldiers with 100 plus, looks like miners, smelters, forge workers, and other worker folk. So, do you approach? Hmm? Why don't you introduce us? To the miners? Yeah, we need to know where these giants are.

Someone's got to ask. All right. Do we spot a more sizable tent amongst them? Make a perception check. 13. 13. Yeah, as you begin to approach, more boundaries slowing down a bit. There are definitely people glancing off

and seeing you approach. Once again, more boundaries aren't common this far east, and so people stop what they're doing, like, what is going on? It's still a commotion, but you do see one tenth that is larger than the rest. It looks a little damaged. It looks like part of it is shredded

and then it's been stitched shut. Quick patchwork job, but it is larger than most. You guys approach on moorbound or back. One of the Aurora Watchguards looks out and sees you, begin to approach and darts towards the tent, and then comes back out with two of the other Aurora guards, and you see an older drow, he's male, with shoulder-length hair, and a goatee that looks a little scraggly.

He has hard facial features, he's a bit plump. You can see dirt and sweat dappled around the corners of the face of the otherwise well-kept and cleaned. He's dressed in a standard tunic, nice pants, and seems to be wearing quite a bit of jewelry compared to the rest of the folk here. But as he approaches with the rest of these Aurora Watchguards, he looks over and goes,

Can I help you, any of you, please? Tell me what you're doing here. We're here to see the foreman. You found the foreman? Oh. What is your business here? Good for you. We've been sent here on behalf of Professor Wacko.

Oh, really? By the professor? Yep. Well, that is fantastic. Wonderful, even. I love your enthusiasm. Why did she send you here? Apparently you have a giant problem. Well, there is a problem, but I do not know if it's necessarily one that you seven could necessarily.

We're giant killers. We've killed giants before, we can kill this one. So many giants. Really? That's our specialty. That is very difficult to believe. I mean, no offense, but. Jester, pull out the heart. Oh boy.

And what am I looking at? See this sludgy heart? I see it, yes, you brought it and put it in front of me. It's pretty big, isn't it? It's from a giant monster. I put it back in the bag. Make an intimidate check. Don't look at it too long. It's real sludgy.

God dang it! Oh boy. Oh, he goes, Very scary, that monster you killed, I guess, maybe. How do you intend to kill these giants, if I might be so curious? How many are there? Are you the leader?

He is, he's our captain. He's our really strong, really smart captain. For someone who's on the chopping block, you ask a lot of questions of the privileged favorites of the Bright Queen. Chopping block, not at all. We are merely awaiting. We? I'm talking about you, friend. favorites of the Bright Queen. Chopping block, not at all. We are merely awaiting.

We? I'm talking about you, friend. You have not done a very good job out here. We're here to fix it for you. I deserve. I would stop talking if I were you. How many giants have you seen in the past month? Make an intimidation check. Roll better.

27. Oh shit! I love you. I love you so much. A little bit. The guards actually look over like, oh shit, and he's like, well, there was an unfortunate incursion of what we count to be about seven or eight giants.

They came down from the mountain without warning, stormed into the middle of our mining encampment, as well as the steelworks, and began to just toss and destroy. We fought back valiantly, lost many men, and escaped with our lives and a good amount of our equipment. And what are you up to show for this encounter?

We have sent word to Rosohna. How many did you kill? We have not killed any yet, because we are awaiting reinforcements. You are wearing a lot of jewelry for someone that does not. I have earned this! If you raise your voice one more time,

we might just have to take you back with us. You don't get to talk anymore. Anybody else point us in the direction of these giants so we can help you keep your job? Yeah, they're guards looking at each other like, uh. Captain Fjord. Yes. Perhaps also if there's some witnesses

to the actual event who were of sound mind to perhaps see what kind of giants these were and if they were armed or otherwise if they seem to be interested in something in the mine. Foreman, did you manage to keep any of your workers alive? Yes, there are many. You told him not to talk anymore. You can point.

He points to the rest of the entire grouping of people around. Tell you what, since my lieutenant over here is tired of hearing you speak, why don't you go find someone that can give us a firsthand account of what happened now? He turns around and walks away. I feel like that counts. He turns around and walks away.

I feel like that counts. The three of our watch are standing there, taken aback by this and looking at you. Eventually, he returns with another one of the workers in the vicinity. Younger, you see, looks to be an orc, maybe in his late teens, early 20s. Has a bit of a wound on his shoulder that's currently bandaged up, and he looks a bit bruised. Hair's long and over one eye, and just dirty, and he approaches and goes, Um, hi, what, is there a question? How you doing, son?

Answer the men. Could you tell us what happened to you? Yeah, we were all just working as we normally do, and then there was this loud crushing, grinding noise, and over the wall, these big gray giants started storming past the outskirts of the outpost, and they started just yelling, and we tried to fight them back,

and they started stomping, and they hurt and killed a few people and hurt a couple of them, but they were, we just grabbed our things and ran. They've been there for well over seven days, eight days now and we're just supposedly, right? Looks over to the foreman, waiting on more soldier reinforcements.

That is correct, and had we not sent most of our recently nearby forces west to the front lines, we would have more available to help in this endeavor, but I'm certain they're coming. Thank you. Orcran turns around and heads back. So you did not fight them, you ran? There was fighting, but we had, we have soldiers intended to help keep things at bay,

like the spiders and the other creatures that exist in the forest. We weren't expecting that many giants out of nowhere to attack. We didn't have the means to defend ourselves. Well. You say you were sent by the professor, correct? It's...

She thinks you can handle this better than we could, and I'll tell you what, if you manage to do this and make it under the banner of Den Aikosrin, bring me along when you return and tell her that to her face and I'll beat her off with an additional 20%, whatever she's paying. I like what you're wearing around your neck.

I'll have that. Do we have a deal? I said, I'll have that. Make another Tuneation check. 16. 17. 18, sick. Thaumaturgy in the eyes.

They start to go a little cloudy. Mine do? Yeah. Hassle. He grasps at his necklace and is like, I don't know where the professor found such thugs, but you do not want to mess with Den Haakonsrin. All right, I'm offering you a chance to make more money. Now, based on how you've arrived, it appears to me that you are sellswords, yes?

Sure. I can pay you more. Yannick strides slowly up next to this man's big tent, and Caleb leans over and says, Piss. Oh god. Yannick's back leg comes up, and a stream of urine starts running

down the side of his tent. You've been out here for an awful long while. You seem to think that you're still in good favor with your den. Is that appropriate? Make a deception check. Oh. 19.

19? Such a long way. Information can get lost so easily. No, you're bluffing. You're bluffing. You're bluffing. No. 25%. The necklace. You'll need it.

All right, let's get started. Let's go. Good luck. You don't need to be wishing us good luck. And we walk away. As you guys turn the corner, you can see about another 20 or so of the nearby folk who've just been waiting around. They're not working, they can't do anything here, so they're just sitting and talking and biding their time, have all gathered nearby to watch these last few moments

of involvement. As soon as you guys meander around the corner, you hear a voice go, What are you doing? Scatter! And some muttering in voices. That was impressive work. Very impressive. That was the most intimidating I've ever seen you be.

That was very nice. But how do we kill seven giants? Yeah. Oh, we're still doing that part? I think we have to, though. I was just focusing on the embarrassing him part. You did that perfectly. Well, that's just the cherry on top.

We do have to take care of the giants. Let's take a look at the situation. Also, gray giants? I don't know what kind of giants. Yeah, I mean, probably should have gotten more details and all of that. I think that's what we were going to get. Yeah, but you put on a very good show back there.

I don't think we want to jiggle that. Yeah, we can scout and just watch for a minute. Yeah. Maybe we can talk to the giants and make them hate each other, and then they'll fight each other. So they might want something specific that we could help them get, I don't know.

They also might be dumb as rocks, we'll have to find out. Do the gray giants sound familiar to me at all? You've not encountered them in your time, you haven't spent much time in the vicinity of a place that might house these. You've spent most of your life in the Moorlands, the Iothiel Moorlands, far south of here,

and you've not encountered a gray giant, necessarily. Yeah, I don't know what the hell that is. Okay. We're going to need some intel, some proper intel. We need to take a look at these things firsthand, maybe get a sense of how big they are. I don't know what they want. Do these moorbounders track scent? Yarnball. Do you track scent? I can ask. We don't have any? Yarnball. Do you track?

I can ask. We don't have any? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Yarnball. I know, weird. So if you smell something that we're looking for, like a creature, could you tell where the creature was just by smelling it? Do you, yeah, he seems pretty positive about that. We don't have anything that smells like the creature was just by smelling it. He seems pretty positive about that. We don't have anything that smells like the creature

that we want. So we're going to be hunting some very dangerous things, but we'll, yeah. We'll make sure that you get a taste of something. Can you fight? You want to fight giants with us? Ah, I think that's a yes. They don't actually know what you're saying.

They have no idea what you're saying? Oh, ask if they want to fight giants with us. Oh. Want to fight some giants? They don't know what giants mean. I've seen one before. Oh, wow. They have no context.

Do we want to head over to the direction of maybe some destruction and try and pick up a giant scent? Let's do it! Or at the very least, also see if we can get a look at these things. Yeah, let's go there. I'm ready to kill. All right, first off, what's the marching order here?

Oh jeez. Yarnball's in the front. Yarnball in the front, Fjord in the front, I'm right behind Fjord and then. That's Fjord, Jester, and Nott on Yarnball in the front. We'll be in the middle. Caduceus and Yasha in the middle. And I'll be keeping my eyes fucking peeled.

Guess we'll take the rear. and I'll be keeping my eyes fucking peeled. Hi. Guess we'll take the rear. Yeah. All righty. That seems very reasonable. So, as you guys begin to skirt around the outside of this cluster of displaced workers and miners, which apparently, based on what just happened,

you can see a number of them are following the perimeter and watching you guys leave, both just curious and some being like, oh shit. Eventually, you break the tree line heading westward into the Vermaloc. Now, Jensen is? I just had a thought.

Do we want a guide? Do we want a miner who maybe knows the mines to just quickly maybe show us if there's anything we're going to miss? They can send them back before this fighting starts. Sure. Just before we leave camp. Should you be ready?

Oh, I'll do the sweetsman. Before we head off, is there anyone who's feeling particularly brave? There might be a little coin in it for you. We don't need a fighter, we just would love somebody who has a particular understanding of the territory, maybe somebody who really feels like they know the mines. We're not going to ask you to guide,

we're not going to try and keep you out of the way, we would love somebody who really feels like they know the mines. We're not going to ask you to guide, we're not going to try and keep you out of the way, we just would love somebody who really knows the land. This motley crew of characters look amongst each other. A lot of them seem relatively shell-shocked, or at least not interested in going back to whatever transpired. One of them steps forward, you see a hobgoblin.

I would say, from your experience, a unique orcish in stature and the fact that it is tall and broad, but a wide nose, a deep reddish brown skin, darker red hair, pulled into a loose ponytail in the back, and general clothes, steps forward and goes, I'll help for coin. Sure. Everybody, just out of curiosity to the group,

you all feel that this, what's your name, friend? Dormin. Dormin. Dormin is a fine representation of the best of what makes a fine miner in this community. Seeing if everyone seems like they like the guy. They all laugh, he's like, Yeah, there's coin involved, and we'll try and keep you out of...

I ain't no dummy. Oh no, you're very fair. How does, let's say, this is dangerous, I suppose, four gold now and four more on completion. Deal. All right. Am I riding on one of your beasts? Yeah.

We have room in the back. How about the middle one? Maybe ride with him and her? Yeah, come on. You can get in the middle of us. I'll walk. We're get in the middle of us. I'll walk. Okay. We're going to be fast.

Who's guiding you? We're going to be kind of slow. Lead on. He goes and grabs a satchel. It's kind of ballsy for a worker here. I'm into it. Throws it over his shoulder and begins to lead you guys into the Vermaloc.

A slower pace than you were hoping for, but nevertheless, that's what happens when you have a guide that apparently doesn't want to ride with you. This is certainly unlike any forest you've seen. The thick leaves and canopy place about 10, 12 feet off the compost, heavy forest floors comprised of a vibrant net of deep reds and oranges and maroon leaves sprouting from smooth

bark trees of purplewood. Heavy roots bulk at the base of the tree about four feet off the ground and spring outward, some leaving tiny entrances to small hollows that are shaded within and below the tree. It's like hidden chambers. The foliage and the tall brown red ferns that clutter the vicinity of the space are occasionally broken by bright yellow flowers that poke through in these large clusters. You can see jutting rock formations occasionally,

like somebody had punched a section of the earth beneath and sticking up so many large, heavy monoliths that are naturally formed. The air itself is a strange mix of fermenting mulch and a sweet perfume. and it's eerily quiet and beautiful. Yasha, you've been in this forest before, though on the other side of the Penumbra Range and the farthest southern area. Your memory of this forest generally at this point isn't as clean.

It's usually more web-tattered. So you're like, oh, this is nice that it's a little more clear, especially if you're going a little deeper and deeper. Quietly, your hobgoblin guide begins to continue leading you through. I would like all of the moorbounders to go ahead and make stealth checks for me, please,

since they're the ones who are actually journeying forward. I'm throwing up mage armor, too. Okay. Oh, really? Everything. Does the warden and bounder get an extra bonus to stealth? It should, on the sheet that I gave to one of you, the more bounder stat should have it.

Yeah, dexterity plus zero. So just a straight roll. Okay. I don't have the roll. Well, that's better than it could have been. 14. Nine. 17. Nine. 17.

Okay. So universally, it balanced out, to be fair. You continue to push forward for about 25 minutes or so at this pace, 30 minutes, until eventually the hobgoblin stops. Going to the side of this path, glancing past one of the trees, goes, Yeah, up ahead.

You turn in the corner, you can see there's a bit of a clearing that's been carved in the center of the Vermaloc here. The canopy gives way and sunlight itself is coming down through the lush red top. You see the outside of what looks like a fort. You see tall, purple wooden planks that are set vertically, side to side, roped together,

sharpened to a point towards the top. You see a gate. You see this long wall that encompasses and fills the entirety of this clearing. You see, from this perspective, one tower that's prominently towards the front to the left of the gate, and one that's a little further back,

just the top of it peeking, these watchtowers that are part of the exterior of this, what seems to be the entrance to the steelworks, as he points out. You can see it's a bit in disarray. There's a couple of packs that are strewn and left on the ground, scattered on the outside of the gate near you.

You can see some rocks that are sitting on top and looks like there's sections at the very, very top of the wall where the wood's broken a bit, like it suffered some damage from something. Make a perception check, Caduceus, Jester, and Caleb, if you don't mind. Come on, Laura Bailey.

Ugh. Whoa. Oh, that's on, Laura Bailey. Ugh. Whoa. Oh, that's already! Thank god. Yes. 11, nine. Okay. So while you guys are all glancing forward, this is this roll.

So you notice, one, you can see the errant batches of logs and tools left outside. You glance up over the perimeter way, the gate that doesn't permit entry. You see two heavy gray stones just floating past the top of the fence, gently bobbing. Then one of them bobs out of view, floating past the top of the fence, gently bobbing. One of them bobs out of view,

and then one lifts up over the edge, and you see a pair of eyes glance over. You realize at this point, this is one of these giants just looking over at the perimeter, glancing around. You're guessing at this distance. You don't quite know how tall the wall is, but it looks like it stands and can look over the wall. All of you hold your breath as Jester points this out.

The moorbounders giant scans the nearby tree line. Scans past you guys again. Fingers come off of the edge and turns around and dissipates behind from the vanishing point over the top of the wall, you can no longer see them. But you see there apparently at least two at this immediate juncture are visible within the interior.

There's a gate, but it's not open or anything? There is a double gate, maybe about 10 feet tall, five feet wide, to each door side that is currently closed to you. 10 feet tall, all right. Six or seven, wow. You do see some heavy rocks and stones that are either the fort was built around

or replaced there, that push up against some of the wall. They were really big. Two of them, right? We promised to kill them all, and we told everyone we were giant killers. What's our play here? We're going to need a little more information from our friend, possibly.

We want to sort the entire perimeter of this place. Remember Lorenzo's hideout? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's that, but with giants. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that means you would float. One at a time, lure them out.

Try not to take them all at once. Maybe we should make one of them work for us. Can we do that? Can you do that? Maybe more than one. Mm-hmm. Think you can take those two? Have them get us deeper inside?

If I had to guess, these two are patrol, watching the borders and the boundaries. There are more on the inside. Let's come into the treeline a little bit closer, just so we're not quite as close. We also have to assume, why are they here? Do they have a leader? Is there a king, troll, giant, whatever?

Who's on the inside? I think that we should make an effort to go around this entire place and see if we spot any more. Let's do that. I like your idea, I could also turn one into a skunk, if need be. Oh, hey, I could do that, too.

That's a really good idea, Caleb. They are probably not that bright. Real quick, friend, if you could do me a favor, and I grab a stick off the ground. You think it's possible to draw a little map of what it's like in there? As you can see, he's visibly shaken by the proximity of the giants.

I'm going to back him away from that end of the forest a bit. His eyes are peering in that direction, his mouth's slightly agape. Takes the stick and draws, and you can see there can see on the nearest side to you, he points out, is the steelworks. The shape of the steelworks is almost like an open hexagon that is carved,

the top of it is carved out of. He says, the steelworks were built onto the mining encampment. It was affixed to it when the fighting began with the Empire. Originally, it was just a mining camp, so it's tapped on. Gotcha. Then he draws the actual mining camp,

which resembles a large trapezoid, evens off, and he says there's a perimeter fence around the mining encampment, which is further west of here, and then this steelworks here is a partial perimeter fence that meets two different sides of the mining encampment. Is this the only way in, or is there any other way? This gate is the front gate, but the rest of the wall is closed off.

There is one other gate on another side, but. I could make a gate for us anywhere we want. That's true. If you could just magically step through the gate anywhere, where would be, is there anywhere that you would recommend people appear? If you wanted to be sneaky. I, there would be maybe.

On this thing you've drawn on the ground, if we were going to sneak in, and if the fence was no object. There is a, there is a blacksmith installation a little ways south, further on the way, that has about a 10-foot space between the wall and the actual building that would maybe

allow you a bit of a quiet entry. I'm excited by this plan. Let's go over here. That is up to you. Can you just put a little X on this crude thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marks it a bit. From this point here, this blacksmith to that spot there where we're seeing these two gentlemen with their stones, well, how far apart are those two points, would you guess?

A few hundred feet. A few hundred feet, okay. I feel pretty confident about everything we've gotten. Do we do a circuit first and then go there? Yeah. Should we do a two-party circuit? Do a crazy stealthy though, because those giants, man, they can see over the wall.

Do we do it on foot? Yeah, leave them. If you wouldn't mind, well, no, you can't take care of the Warbinders. Let's bring the Warbinders a little further into the forest, maybe. Oh yeah, yeah, away from, yeah. I think that you've done plenty.

I do, too, and I'm good, I'm done. Here's five for you, thank you. We really appreciate it. Thank you. As soon as he gets to the goal, he turns around and quietly begins walking back where he came. Only if it's a headshot. All right, let's split up and go around.

Who, how do we want to split the? I'll go right. We and go around. Who, how do we want to split the? I'll go right. We'll go left. We'll go right down the middle. No. No, wait, not with you. We'll go right. On the left. So. Oh boy.

Where are you, right or left? Maybe I should go right, you go left, so that we split the clerics. As long as we split the clerics, everyone should be fine. All right. All right, so who's going left? Okay, and then you're going right?

Okay. Stealth rolls for your beasts, please. Oh, we're leaving them. Right, so stealth rolls for the troop. Super, the most cocked of any I have ever rolled. Oh, we're leaving them to the foes. Right, so stealth rolls for the troop. Oh boy. Super cocked. The most cocked of any die I have ever rolled. Finally, a good roll.

13. 27. 12. 32. 17. Oh no. Five. Come on, Ashley.

Just saying, it's so terrible. Come on. It's your specialty. It's your specialty. I on, Ashley. It's belt check, come on. It's your specialty. I rolled a one. She's back. Okay, so you guys begin to disperse. As you guys are quietly stepping forward, what you didn't notice, Yasha, was eating in the hollow by one of these trees as you're stepping by

appears to be a small, gangly, possibly diseased beaver or wolverine-type creature. You step on its tail and it attacks your ankle and you kick it off off that side. You look back at the rest of the group. You just hear Hide, hide, hide, get down, hide, get down.

Just their half of the party, right? Mm-hmm. This is like a minute after you guys split, so you're a little ways away, but not that far. Split in front. Yeah, you guys heard this. Is there anything that we can all duck and cover nearby? Like nearby tree line?

Yeah, you all think you've ducked and covered. Right, it's the stealth rolls already happened. Stealth rolls already happened. So you all go into hide and you watch as two of them look over. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. One of them

turns around and walks back. The other one goes. How far away is it? And the head ducks down. How far away? From where you head ducks down. How far away? From where you are right now, I'd say eyeballing about 60 feet. I'm getting ready to run because I know what's coming. They're both about 60 feet away?

No, the other one's further back. I'm ready for it. It chucks a large stone that is heading right for Yasha. Welcome back, Ashley Jones. Yay! That is going to be a 24 to hit. Oh yeah, that definitely hits.

Okay. So as this large stone hits the ground before you, dirt sprays in your direction as you try to pull back, it rolls and slams into you, sending you 10 feet back. Your head is ringing from the impact. This is going to be... 25 points of bludgeoning damage,

and you have to make a strength saving throw for me. Okay, do I have resistance to bludgeoning damage, and you have to make a strength saving throw for me. Okay, do I have resistance to bludgeoning? You're not raging, so you don't. That's right, okay. What did you just say to do? Sorry. Make a strength saving throw for me, please. Make a strength saving throw. Oh, yay.

That's cocked. Natural 20. Natural 20. Natural 20. It hits you, and as opposed to falling onto your back, you dig in your heels and grinding back about three feet, you manage to stop the rolling of the boulder in place. It comes to rest. That hurt, and you can feel the blood rushing from your nose. It might be broken. As you look up over the edge, you can see the giant looking right at you, and its fingers curl back,

and it backs into the fort. It knows you're here. That's where we're going to go. Oh my god. We'll pick up on this next week. Jesus. So much for stealth mode. Sometimes you can get around it, sometimes you can't.

Damn it. It's all good. Welcome back! Welcome back, Ash-Ole! Yay! Yay! Yay! Oh man, all right, we're jumping right into it next week. Oh my god.

I am so excited. Oh man. Well, yeah, well, we're going to jump into this for the end of our Kickstarter campaign, yeah. Oh. Next week? Yeah. Oh man.

I'm ready. We know nothing. Are we doing a brunch next week or no? I don't know. I mean, should we? I mean. We can, because whatever we're wearing, we have to wear it for the after party.

Oh! That's right. Wow, right. That'd be interesting. Sure. Travis is not. Maybe we shouldn't have mimosas before the end. Let's save the brunch for another day.

We'll save the brunch for something else, yeah. We'll do it for something, another one-shotty thing. Have fun with it. Sounds good. Well, thank you guys. Ashley, welcome back. We missed you. Thank you. Yay! So glad to be back.

Oh my god. We'll be back next Thursday to pick up where we left off and close out the Kickstarter campaign. Oh my gosh. Oh man, in the interim, thank you guys so much for coming along with us tonight as we play. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Yeah.

Good night. Thank you for listening to this episode of Critical Role. If you've enjoyed this ever-weaving story, please consider rating and reviewing our podcast. You might just inspire someone new to hop on the wagon for the journey. We have plenty more stories to tell. Stay tuned, and we'll see you next time.