Critical Role - C2E93 Misery Loves Company

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

The Mighty Nein find themselves on the hunt for the entity responsible for Nott's predicament, but neither the journey nor the quarry are quite what they expected. Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole.

Hello, bees! This is Laura Bailey, here to welcome you to the Critical Role podcast. If you'd like to tune into the show as it airs, you can watch Critical Role Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. Our lovely Twitch subscribers can view the episode on demand right away. Or you can find it on YouTube Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific. And of course, for all you fantastic podcast listeners, Critical Role episodes hit feeds on Thursday mornings, a week after the episode first airs. With all that said, let's get into another episode of Critical Role. Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy

ass boys out there sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We play Dungeons & Dragons! Dungeons! That was a thinner one this week. People bailed on me. Yeah, your friends abandoned you on that. I was with you. Thank you.

So before we get into tonight's session, we have some announcements to get through, beginning with two sponsors for the evening. First up, we have a new sponsor for the show, specifically Pen and Paper, Knights of Pen and Paper 2. Sam. Raze rise up, for it is I, Dracar Noir,

from the Fantasy Ranch. You may have seen me on Travis Willingham's Yeehaw Game Ranch, where I survived the cabbage stench of that ill-bred yeasty canker sore Brian Foster. But tonight, I shall raise rise up for our sponsor, the critically acclaimed turn-based pixel art adventure game, Knights of Pen and Paper 2. Woo! Knights of Pen and Paper 2. In Fantasy Ranch, we are addicted to this retro-style game, which simulates the classic pen and paper role-playing experience with satire and humor, and feels like you're sitting at the table with friends.

And now, I will sing its praises literally with a song our finest bards composed for the occasion. Oh, yes. Yeah. A little bit of an intro. Knights of Pen and Paper is its name. An exciting, majestic RPG game. Test your skills and test your luck. And remember that Brian Foster sucks.

It's free to play and it's not a dream. Available on iOS, Android and Steam. Follow the link and start your download and remember Brian Foster's a chode. Fie die die, bo do bo do po do, fie fiddle

dee do, fie die die. Fie die die, bo do bo do po do, fie fiddle dee do pa dee. Yes, Knights of Pen and Paper 2. Matt and Marisha played the game on Everything Is Content a while ago, and you can check it out on our YouTube channel. Otherwise, learn more at bit.ly slash knightscr. Raise Rise Up and download it today! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo it today! Oh! Oh! Oh! Wow. I love him. Oh my god. I think it's the best facet of Sam we could ever enjoy. Thank you, Sam, and thank you,

no, it's a pen and paper, too. That was amazing. Our second sponsor tonight, our returning sponsor for campaign two since the beginning, our dear friends pen and paper, too. That was amazing. Our second sponsor tonight, our returning sponsor for campaign two since the beginning, our dear friends at D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond! For those of you who haven't heard us sing their praises before, D&D Beyond is a fantastic online digital tool for keeping track of your characters, your campaigns,

and all facets of D&D. It's great stuff. If you haven't yet, I recommend you check it out, because it's super helpful. All right, we have some other announcements, or if you guys haven't checked out, dndbeyond out, because it's super helpful. All right, we have some other announcements, or if you guys haven't checked out, dandbeyond.link slash Critical Role

for more specific detail. Let me be thorough in my announcement there. Not Thoreau, though. No. Oh, way to pull in the game. Nice. I can't get it, put it in the air! Shh!

Bring it down. But yeah, thank you guys at D&D Beyond for continuing to support the show. We have a couple of announcements. Earlier this week, if you guys haven't seen it, we announced our live show in Chicago. Oh, yay! Shut down! Leading into our appearance at C2E2

at the end of next month, the Thursday, February 27th at the Auditorium Theater in Chicago, we're going to have a live, in-canon episode for anyone who's in the region who wants to come see. Tickets are on sale. VIP tickets will go on sale Wednesday and February 5th at 10 a.m. Central.

The regular tickets will be on sale. And then, oh, sorry. Let me get that back. The sentence was, VIP tickets will be on sale Wednesday, February 5th at 10 a.m. Central. There we go. And regular tickets will be on sale Wednesday, February 5th at 10 a.m. Central. There we go. And regular tickets will be on sale Thursday, February 6th at 10 a.m. Central.

So day after day. I should read the right order in the sentences there. But if you can't attend our show, that's totally fine. Our broadcast on the 27th will start an hour earlier because we'll be doing it live from there. So it'll be 6 p.m. as opposed to 7 p.m. Pacific that Thursday. So be ready for that. Put in your calendar for those who want to be 6 p.m. as opposed to 7 p.m. Pacific that Thursday. So be ready for that. Put it in your calendar for those who want to be there for it live.

And for all additional details, go ahead and check out critrole.com slash events. It's a really pretty theater, you guys. Nice to see it. Yeah, it is a really pretty theater. The Stork? Historic! Historic! Also, the Stork. I was like, what a strange name for a theater.

It's a mascot, stork. You're going to show? Once you have a baby. I'll leave. A lot of nooks and crannies at the stork. A lot of dark corners. I can drink. Yeah.

All righty. In case you also missed the news earlier today, we have a nonfiction book coming out now. There you go! If we get announced. Where are you? Our friends at Penguin Random House. Penguin Random, I can't talk today, it's small.

Our friends at Penguin Random House. I have a problem with Penguin, apparently, just like Benedict. Just say Perpetual Advantage. Perpetual Advantage. Perpetual Advantage. Yes. Got it. Does that count? Nailed it!

Hell yeah! All game. I'm not the DM yet. Perpetual advantage. Yes! Got it. Is that Cal? Nailed it! Hell yeah! All game. I'm not the DM yet. I'm doing announcements. But yes, we have a nonfiction book called World of Critical Role that they've been working on for a while now with us that just goes over, as opposed to in canon, stories and art books and such,

this is a deep narrative about how all this happened. It's a bunch of really personal interviews about us, point to point, the entire weird reality that has led us here and beyond. And it's already looking really cool. So I believe it's coming out September in bookstores. Local bookstores all over, but it is available for pre-order now if you're interested.

And for those of you in the U.S., Penguin Random House is also offering a chance to get your name printed in the book, apparently, which is kind of cool. So for all the details, head to CritRoll.com to check out more about it. Marisha, you have an announcement. Oh, man.

This Tuesday, all work, no play. It's coming back! Get in here, Eagle! Wow! Whoa, look where she's come! It's really coming back! It in here, Eagle! Wow! Whoa, look where she's come! It's really coming back! It's really coming back! Wow!

At 4 p.m. on our Twitch channel, the first episode, the boys dive into some chainsaw art. Oh, is that what we start with? That's your starting with chainsaw art with Julie Nathanson. We have all our digits still. Is this a set up to a bit, or is it really coming back? No, it's really coming back.

It's really, really. I know. I'll believe it when I see it. What is chainsaw art? Like with ice? You'll have to find out this Tuesday. Do you know what penis art is? Absolutely. It's kind of the same thing. Or pee it.

Have you never been to my house? A lot of bedazzling. A lot of bedazzling. A lot of bedazzling. If you missed the live broadcast, as always, VODs immediately on our Twitch, and then all work, no play will be up on YouTube on Thursdays. Whew.

Tight. Coming at you. I'm so excited. I am, too. Number one fan in the house. That's right, you are. I got a new hat and shirt and everything. It's funny. I'm so excited. I am, too. Number one fan in the house. That's right, you are. I got a new hat and shirt and everything. It's funny. I made a sign. It's funny.

Studio audience for this show? He literally just wears it at home. You're just going to stand on the corner, aren't you, with the sign, right? Woo! There's a thing in the break, right, Kyle? Yeah. Yeah, there's a thing in the break. Like a thing in the break. A teaser.

Cool. Your runes actually say all works in place. Back to the Shazelle. By the way, my favorite puppet penis I saw at Ashley's is the Medusa. Yeah, that's great. Not to be missed. You bedazzled it. I did, that was a fun afternoon.

It was a fun afternoon. That was a fun afternoon. Yeah. Really carries the whole scale effect to a whole different level. It wasn't hard. Well, not originally. So. Look at it. You turned it. So. It's really like an optical illusion.

You know when you take a pencil and you go like this? It follows you around the road, no matter where you go. All right. All right. All right. Oh no. So. Oh boy.

Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. No! The adventure begins, they were always beside you Your nerdy best friends and the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware cause you're about to be dead. They got magic and flair. They got falchions and cunning. They don't see over there.

There's a monster incoming. Inspiration is waiting. Rise up, don't think twice. Put your fate in your hands. Take a chance, roll the dice Roll, critical, roll, critical Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul As the legend unfolds

Now it's your turn To roll It's your turn to roll! Welcome back. So, last we left off, the Mighty Nein, upon watching and aiding Caleb, finally finish his design, completing what Halas once had attempted to complete, designing a spell in which you could transmogrify

another person into a different body of their choosing. The ritual attempted, but failing at the realization that a curse still remained on Nott that prevented any sort of shift or change. Trailing the source back, it seems, to the individual responsible for cursing her with the goblin body in the first place, you returned to Zadash to research

this possible individual. Coming to find it might be this Asharnai, the Prism Sage, an individual that lives north of Kamorda in the Bromkin Hills within the Sirius Mountains near Mount Mentiri. After this moment, you realized you had to travel west from Zadash to Kamorda, and wanting to clarify the possible link of this sage that had originally done this terrible deed

to Nott at the request of the goblins that had killed her. You met the Lionett family. A tense reunion, long held back, ensued, at which point it was confirmed The tense reunion, long held back, ensued, at which point it was confirmed that it seems this same sage that helped bring her family's fortune and had put a black cloud over her name and life since she was born may indeed be the same one

that is responsible for Nott's predicament. With this tense reunion complete, you all stepped outside into the evening rain and gave Beau a hug of support after the emotional, exhausting interaction. And that's where we left off. As you all pull away outside of the Lionette estate, the darkened sky above,

the cold rain pattering around you on the muddy streets, the smell of sulfur and minerals still strong in the air, what would you like to do? We just left the Lionette house? Correct. Are we finding somewhere to stay here, or are we heading straight out? What time is it?

At this point, I'd say it's close to 8 o'clock. It's not terribly late. But it's around 10 o'clock. P.M. Yeah. It's an estate, right? It's not a town, was it? It is a town. It is a town?

Mm-hmm. It is a town at the bottom of the hill. But up here, it's just a vineyard and then a few miles over, another vineyard, or have you had neighbors? There's a tavern not too far, sorry. Choked up from that meeting? A little flimsy from that,

but it's not. Yeah, there's a dive bar with a few beds not far. Right? Let's do that. Yeah, you can go in there. Yeah. Okay. Wait, are we going to run into your old crew there? You're going to see a bunch of old high school dropouts or anything?

Are you going to do fights before we go to the real fight? Is your name going to be written on the bathroom wall by six different hands? That maybe, yeah. We have to go. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see.

Oirgar, I stole this from your dad's house. It's just a little statue of a rabbit made of jade. Do you want it? No, you keep it. I just thought, I don't know, fuck that guy, right? I'm, yeah, I'm, um... I'm working it out.

How about a drink? That sounds fucking fantastic. Did you steal anything else? I mean, just the hearts of America, but. Where? What? Sorry, I blacked out for a second. I haven't been there. But I haven't been a lot of places.

Oh, it's a place. Look, we would totally lead the way, but this is your fucking stomping ground, so's a place. Mm. Look, we would totally lead the way, but this is your fucking stomping ground, so, you know. Yeah, follow me. Lead the way. What is the name of that bar? I feel like I read something. Jem'dhearth Inn. It's called an inn, loosely.

Yeah. Oh! As you recall, it has three rooms. Yeah. That are repurposed storage chambers, Oh, that's good. As you recall, it has three rooms that are repurposed storage chambers, and mostly people that crash there do so because they've had too much to drink and just need a place to crash,

or are too drunk to ask for a place to crash, and they're placed there anyway and then charged the following morning. But it's been a while since you've traveled to this space. Yeah, I was waiting for it as soon as I said it. Have we finally found the D&D equivalent of a hostel? Have we finally found a hostel? Kind of, yeah. All right.

Oh shit, are the beds in the open spaces? No, there's walls. There's walls. Two walls, apparently, separating three spaces. What a thrill. One of the defining features. All righty. So gathering your things,

you still have your horses with you. They were hitched outside of the estate, so you go ahead and take their leads and walk them through the not quite as busied streets now that the sun is down. You can see there are lanterns that have been placed out since the sunset. These large poles with hooks on them

and where at night these lanterns are placed for people that are heading back from work and individuals that are trying to find their way through the darkened evening roads. Eventually finding your way to the exterior of the Gem to Earth Inn. You look at it from the outside and you wouldn't be able to tell it's an inn.

It looks like a warehouse. It looks like a storage facility. It's very simple, bland woods. The mud across the ground, you can see, has been spattered and dried and spattered and dried to the point where it just repeatedly caked across the baseboards at the exterior about a foot and a half to two feet up, where it looks almost like it's slowly being pulled into the earth. It might be. Who knows? But the door is partially a jar, and as you step up to the

interior, the wood creaks beneath your weight with each step, and the warm interior greets you along with the combined smell, it seems, of burned meat, strong, spilled, soured alcohol, possibly a bit of bile, who knows?

It's a delightful interior. There's five tables, of which only one of them has a patron at the moment. You see a very, very, very old, almost folded face of a man. He's missing all of his teeth and his jaw, and he scoops forward and overlaps the front a bit. He's holding a really heavy tankard in front

with both hands, and he's just looking into it. Looks like he's in the process of either falling asleep or having the deepest thought you could possibly imagine. Across the table in the back, you see what looks to be a well-polished bar. It doesn't match the rest of it. In fact, you get the sense maybe you've had acquired this curved bar recently

and just has nothing else to update the interior. It stands out how well polished it is, whether he saved up and bought it or another place closed and he got it in an auction, who knows? But behind it, you see the rather rotund heavyset figure of a gruff man with strong stubble across his heavy square jaw.

His hair is receding in the way, in the back, like a fire-tuck-type bald spot where he has a bit of a bowl cut around the sides. He has a series of scars across one side of his face, minor scars, and one discolored eye on that side, on his right side. But he glances up for a bit, so you can finish polishing the countertop

more than it needs to be polished, and looks up. Hello, can I help you? Yeah, hello. It has been a shit of a day, and we could all use a drink. And Caleb places a gold on the countertop. This should cover around here? Yeah, yeah, it'll cover around, no worries. Is it all wine here, because of the proximity

to the estate, or? Well, if you want wine, that's a whole different ballgame, sorry. Whiskey, please. Goatball, you know, you've seen it around. It's a big, popular thing with the goliaths. Goatball, you know, you've seen it around. It's a big, popular thing with the Goliaths. Goatball. Cannon.

It is from Campaign One. Oh my god. I just assumed you were looking for ale, maybe, but if you want wine, that's a press you want. No, no, no, no, no. Nothing in between. You don't have anything stronger than ale, perhaps. Whiskey, scotch. Oh, liquor! Yeah.

That's, yeah, but probably how much you want, like just a shot each or a full thing? A bottle, maybe two. You're going to need to put a few more gold on it. Add a platinum. Ooh! We also want rooms and stuff. Keep it coming.

Yeah, can we have all the rooms? Do you have any more rooms? I got three rooms. If you don't mind sharing, I can go and get you a bottle and get you rooms for the night. We'll take all the rooms. All right, and he reaches over and scoots the coin across and happily tucks it into a pocket, buttons it shut,

heads off the back, and for a moment, leaves you alone, just your troop and that one old guy who's been awfully quiet in a darkened chamber. What's up, Grandad? How are things? No response, he doesn't acknowledge. What's up, Grandad?

I can't speak with dead, I'm just not. Maybe he's just sleeping. Maybe he's hard of hearing. Maybe he's left alone. Maybe he's not a grandfather. He's having a really bad day, too. You said it could be you, so all right. I walk over to him.

I do the slow, lean in, field of vision. Hey! That explains the whole thing. How are you? No, please don't do anything! Okay, no, it's not like that. Enjoy your old beverage. I am! You want to read a story, baby? What can he do?

I'm a little confused by that exchange. He just chose not to listen. Maybe he read your lips. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe he's a lip reader. Do you read lips? What? Okay. That's a mystery solved there.

You just went up and scared the poor man. Yeah. I have that effect, Yasha, I don't know if you know. I guess you're very, very scary and intimidating. Terrifying. Yeah. What is the news here in town? Oh boy. The noose. The noose?

Yeah. Yeah. There hasn't been a hanging in about four years! Saw that coming. Yeah. Yeah. There hasn't been a hanging in about four years! Saw that coming. I don't think he would have heard it anyway. The noose. The noose. The noose. Do you come here often? I'm going to not talk to him because I think

we'll leave it to you guys. Ask him his name. What's your name? What? Your name? Dharmen. Dharmen. What's your name?

My name is Yasha. Okay. He goes back to drinking. That was great. You really got through to him quickly. I did, he gave me his name. Usually people don't offer that until the next morning. Hey!

Just kidding. Yes, But. Eventually, a large glass bottle, dark brown in color, no label, just hands it over. All right, there you are. Here's your keys. Welcome to the Gem Hearth. You look familiar.

Nah. All right. Turns right down and goes back to the bar. Did he bring out glass with that bottle, or is it just the bottle? No, just the bottle. Just the bottle. Well, if that's a friend of yours, you should find out what the scuttlebutt is around here.

Why? We have friends, dude. Well, I would assume if anyone was your friend, it was the purveyor of whiskeys. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's the same old guy who's been here for the past 10 years. 10 years, right, so he's known you since you were a little bitty? Well, ever since I started sneaking in here, yeah.

You snuck in here, underage, to grab a drink? Have you seen this place? What am I supposed to do? Yeah, it's true. You could draw. You could draw. Or... Did you ever steal or get arrested here?

Did you get kicked? Have you been kicked out of this establishment before? Actually, it was back behind this place where we were doing the deal that I got busted when I was doing the handoff of my family's wine. We are on hallowed ground. Yeah. Is there any art on the wall, anything interesting,

like pictures, not photographs, obviously, but like anything, any carvings, any? No carvings. The walls are surprisingly bare, except for one piece of what appears to be like a knitted tapestry that's slightly off-center. Probably someone's first attempt at knitting. The lines are imperfect, and you look at it,

and you find your head tilting to the side to try and make a balance to it, and it's just, no, it's just poorly made. If I unfocus my eyes, do I get a 3D picture? You get a 3D something. It hurts you to try and contemplate and make sense of the shape. Jester, I want to consult the history stacks of this place.

You take the ladies' room, I'll take the men's room. You got it. All right. We go and we look in the restroom for it. One bathroom. There is a singular restroom that is just a hole in a plank of wood in an attached outhouse. This is unexpected.

Is Beauregard's name still in there? This is much smaller than I expected it to be in here. The smell is incredible. Also, yes, it's very stinky. Is there writing on the wall? Make a perception check. Are you guys in there together, alone? Are you trying to get me alone, Fjord?

Because if you are, this is probably not the best place to do it. 11. You don't see any major carvings. There are some gashes in the wood, like a fight probably went down here at some point. Oh. That's about all you can find.

Okay. Yeah. There's no come here for a good time type messages left, unfortunately. We could shut the door. You could what? We shut the door. Shut the door? Oh, like get out and shut the door?

Are you still? Yes! Okay, do it! All right. Hey guys, back so soon. How was it being alone together in whatever room you were in? We were in the Privy.

It was stinky. Single occupant. I'm really large. Ooh. I know. I'll let my imagination run wild. Are you going to christen that bottle or what? Oh yeah, here, cheers. With no glasses.

Oh. Yeah, pass it around! Pass it around. Rough day, Beauregard boar. Yeah, pass it around! Pass it around. Rough day, Boragod Lionett. Yeah. Yeah? A day. Nope. It is drawn and it gets the job done.

You get the sense that liquor is not their specialty here, and this particular abode doesn't have a wide selection. We're always drinking. I'm going to pour some in a little potion, The regular abode doesn't have a wide selection. Why are we drinking lemon? Just wipe it off. I'm going to pour some in a little potion bottle. Okay. Are you going to feed that to Sprinkle later? No, I think it'll make a good paint dinner.

Can't say no. That's a clever idea. Yeah, that's a bit rough. Woof. I actually used to remove nail polish with the liquor that I got here. See? That's what I'm talking about. It was great.

I can feel the temperature rising. I'm going to go keep behind that tapestry on the wall. Okay. Secret, secret. Anything? There's a portion of the wall that appears darker in color. Mm. Black mold. You get the sense that sometimes moisture

has been held in this tapestry that has affected the wall behind it, and the dust from the interior of the room has lightened the wood around it, but beyond that, there's no apparent hidden doorway. It's just an old, shitty tapestry. Going to carve a dick? There's only one person to stop you,

and he is old and looking at his cup still. No. I'm sure we're not. Then I'm going to make this guy. Has the barkeep not come back yet? So much planned, and we're like, I'm going to sniff the shooter, and I'm going to yell at an old man. D&D!

You're right. We've got a long trip ahead of us. We should rest. I'm going to go at an old man. D&D! You're right, we've got a long trip ahead of us. We should rest. I'm going to go up to the bar and, hey, friend, I'm sorry, what was your name again? Oh, uh... You shut your green mouth. I know, I don't know if we actually asked.

I don't think he has actually asked that yet, hold on. It's not easy being weird. Carry. Carry. Carry. Yeah. Can I get something, do you have anything like just some juice or something without alcohol in it? Let me look. All right. Get some for me, Caduceus.

Get two or whatever you find. Okay, I'll be right back. He goes and leaves for a second and then comes back a moment later with a glass, it looks almost like a jar, like a large mason jar with a little bottleneck at the top, filled with a milk-like substance. I got some goat milk.

Oh, yeah. That'll do it. Okay. Just head and pour us it out for you. How long have you been here for? How long has milk been here for? How long has the milk been here for? Hey, that's funny. We're in Comorda. Yeah. I grew up here. Really?

Yeah. You know from around here, I can recognize that already. Oh, first time we... We, we. We were looking to... Just doing a little digging around. What do you know about the Lionett family, out of curiosity? Oh, they're one of them rich types living up here on the mountainside, the cliffside there.

I know, I just got pricks if you ask me, but that's far for the course for any of the folks living in that area. Well, just had my first meeting with them, and yeah, it was a bit rough. Looking for work, are you? I was looking for a little work, sure. All right, what skill sets you got? Well, we do a lot of things, to be honest.

We're on a job right now, but in general. You good with a shovel? Actually, yes, I am. All right, I got a brother who runs a livery out there, and he's selling the Shovel to Horse ship and it's been hard to fill the space. It's got a lot of horses. I mean, there's a lot you can do with that.

Has he ever thought about the resale value of clean manure? Especially if you're trying to grow crops and not to throw that off to the side anyway. Growing crops here can be a problem if you're not one of the particular enclosed farming arrangements in Kamordah, and they already have their input. But, I mean, we've asked, but they seem to be,

you're pretty taken care of in that department. Oh, that's a shame. Why is everything in this bar about poop? Everything in Kamordah is about poop. Yeah, we were, yeah, sadly, I don't think it worked out, but we'll be moving on pretty soon. I was just sort of curious after we had a bit of a weird conversation with them.

Yeah, I mean, if they're not going to hire anyone, then they're lost, really. Bunch of write-up type pricks. Bit superstitious, too, I think. That's my goat's milk. Come on. That's just going to curdle with what you put in it. I wouldn't suggest putting the two together.

Why did they put them in the same jug? You're going to have a cheese dream because of that. That's not a good thing. What's a cheese dream? It's dreams you have when you're a kid. I don't know if I want to know. We should go to sleep. This is almost as good as penis puppets. Cheese dreams.

I've heard of these. It's true. You already learned the dangers of whiskey milk, so. Yeah. Are you okay, Beauregard? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Surprisingly better than I thought, actually.

Do you need, will you share a room tonight? Oh yeah, we're going to have to. These are like four by eights. They're horrible. Yeah. There's three rooms, right? Yeah. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Sure. I'll just keep coming up with stuff.

I don't know how that helps. All right, we're going to go to sleep then. Right. Okay. You head to your respective chambers. They are disappointing. Each contains two cots that would roughly assemble, if put next to each other, to a standard-in bed. Whoa.

The cushions that are placed upon them, upon sitting down, are stuffed with possibly cotton, possibly elements of hay. Depending on how you prepare it, there are lumpy and hard bits on the inside. It's a little bit of a rough space here. No windows, so very enclosed, but functional. And the locks do work,

which I think is the important thing. Mm-hmm. After finally putting the thread all the way around the room, Caleb just grabs some of the hay And the locks do work, which I think is the important thing. After finally putting the thread all the way around the room, Caleb just grabs some of the hay and throws it on the ground and lies down to bed down on the floor, saying, just like the old days. Yeah, I'll do the same.

Okay. I'm not going to lie, I kind of miss this. It's kind of nice being back in this. Had some good times in these shitboxes. Wow. Yeah. Oh. I'm going to... What do you?

I can sleep on the floor. It's, I'm used to it anyway. Honestly, it's probably safer than the mattresses. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, for me, it's weird sleeping on something that, you know, I don't think I'm enough. I'm too tall for that bed. I'm immune to poison and disease,

so I'll take the mattresses. Good call. You're used to sleeping on a floor. I'll lean up against a wall in the corner and try to follow Cleave sitting up. Okay. Best reason to be a monk. Get that.

All of you find sleep, though, at different intervals due to levels of comfort within the rooms that you've rented for the night. But nevertheless, sleep does come. You take your long rest and in the morning begin to awaken as the heat, the trapped heat from the interior of these rooms begins to get a little musky. No one knows, I bet it's so rank in these rooms.

I bet it's like a giant gym sock. Yeah, it's not great. Gross. You get the sense they're somewhat cleaned between people who stay there, but being there for a night, you can immediately pick up the Gentle History. Ooh.

When Caleb arises, he cantrips a little bit of flame in his hand and just burns away with it. Perfect. Caduceus, do you have any Shage? Shage? You got any Shage? What's your Shage? The importance of cleansing the realm of spirits. It's sage for the Sneeshnake.

We got stuff that smells nice in here that you can burn, yeah. Why don't we just get out? Why don't we just hang out in the stinger rooms? Let's go. Pronto. All right. Are we going to the lady's place? Yeah.

The witch's house or whatever she is? Old, messy area. We're going to go fuck up a witch? Yeah, my dad said pretty much directly north of here, and then when we start seeing the bramble, thorny patches, that we're getting close. Very much have a conversation, at the very least. No, we need to kill her.

I'm sure. We could do that, too. That might not help, but we could do that, too. Oh. We have to hold her down and make her break the curse, or can we just kill her and make it break the curse? Maybe as we walk or ride, we're riding as far as we can,

maybe we should come up with a plan. Are we trying to kill her? Or is the thing to try to convince her to remove the curse first? Or? I think diplomacy is always smart, but I also think our setting will determine our strategy, right?

Yes, we are going into unknown territory. We don't know the lay of the land around her home, so she knows we're coming. That's true. I mean, didn't your father say he made a deal? Mm-hmm. She more or less takes appointments. She'll bargain with people. Talking is certainly an option. Oh, that's true.

Maybe we can bargain with her to make her drop the curse. Okay, what can we have to offer? What do we have to offer? Oh, so many things. Money? Maybe she wants a performance. You know, she hasn't got entertainment for a long time offer? Oh, so many things. Money? Maybe she wants a performance. You know, she hasn't got entertainment for a long time, I bet, so.

Like a little performance from the Orphan Makers. Yeah. I have a feeling she doesn't want money, you know? Yeah, she's right. You live up in the woods like that. You got everything you want like that. What do you mean? if not money, what? My father always claimed that he

gambled a part of his fortune away. Money? No, like his soul, yeah. Oh, maybe that's why he's slightly soulless. Maybe. Maybe he was normal and cool and stuff before that, and then he became a dick. I wonder what my dad was like before that.

Or maybe she hasn't collected yet? Or not. I don't know. Oh, we'll find out. Are we talking about all this stuff on the horses? Yeah, we're moving at a quickened pace. For the longest time, I thought it was just your everyday run-of-the-mill scam artist.

Another fortune teller just trying to manipulate someone into giving them a glimpse into their future. They are far more common than the genuine article. Plus, I mean, everything my dad did was so interpretive. That's ridiculous. I might not, you know, maybe I shouldn't be the one who talks to this person, because I don't know that I could just bargain with her.

I mean, she's awful. I might just want to, you know. Yeah, but I mean, if this is the same woman that made you like that, we at least need to see if she recognizes you. Why? Well, I don't know. If we just kill her,

then we're obviously limiting our options almost right away. We could shackle her with these, the mystical shackles that we've had for a long time. This is a large cucumber. It's been a while. It's been a while. This is a Shake Weight. The darkest of vestiges. I think I got these tens right here.

Oh my god. Yeah, we could go in. She knows that we are coming. We could try to weaken her a bit, and once she looks like she has been bled some, if that can happen, we can, one of our speedier types can get up close and Yeah. And then we can question her, I'll swear and djinn her.

Man, we're all just nailing it. Yeah, yep. We have a carbon monoxide detector in the studio. I certainly hope we do. We are rehearsed to a T. Good news is, if it goes real bad, we have a lot of people who can call paramedics. That's true.

No, they're not two. I was just saying they're all one. No, he's dirt. Fuck! If we just start passing out one at a time on the stream, how long would it take the audience to figure out? As long as we're complete fuckheads, by the way,

your shirt is total madness. I can't look at it. How many letters? It's giving me Big Bear vibes. No, like, some faces, when they twist, look kind of funny. This is legitimately the most nightmare fuel I've seen in a while.

And this one. Your eyeballs are real. That was a nightmare. Oh god. Yeah. Okay. All right. As you guys continue leaving Camorda and begin following into the sidewinding trails that head up the cliffside at the base of the Sirius Mountains, heading northward.

The rain itself still falling around you, not as heavy as yesterday, but still cold, and soaking through what you are wearing. You continue going up the somewhat slick and sometimes steep walkways until eventually you crest past the first ridge. As you hit the top and look to where the next element continues down into one of the many valleys that lie ahead,

you can see miles and miles of deep forest that coats the mountain sides and completely fills the interior, boldened valley before you. You can see more mountains rising up all around you as the Sirius mountain range itself just continues to climb. You can see a little bit to the northwest of where you are, one mountain that rises above the rest

of the deep red-orange color that you know to be Mount Mentiri, that is largely believed to be the mountain where the source of a lot of the geothermal activity comes from. As you all continue to path downward, who is leading this? Who is at the front of the pack? Who is the one who is watching the paths

and guiding you, hopefully, in finding the way to your quarry? We're not burning that six level spell, are we? Well, how long of a travel is it to get there? It's about a day or two. Depending on your means of locomotion. You know, your father went by foot and took him, you're guessing about a day and a half, two days.

Okay. Morse. As far as we can go on it. I can try it and then I just won't have a big wuddle. Let's wait for a minute, I think. Okay. I can, you know what I can do? If we want to take 10 minutes. What?

I can try to ask the Traveler if he can point us in the right direction. I mean, isn't he busy getting ready for TC? TCOM? Yeah, but I can travel. Travco? Okay, yeah. I have such an intimate relationship with him. Well, maybe he's seen the switch.

Maybe. I haven't asked him. Have I? Don't believe you have. I haven't asked him. Go ahead. All right. Whoa. You're.

I hop down off of the horse. Okay. And I set up all my statues that I've made of him. You can build a little makeshift altar right there on the side of the pathway. There's a little alcove on the side of the rock where you can easily set them up and it looks like it was intentional

and probably has been there for a while. This is nice. All right, cool, cool, cool. I'm going to try to Commune. All right, you're casting Commune, got it. Okay. I get three questions? Mm-hmm, you do.

Another, yeah. As you finish arranging them in the circle, you sit down, finish, part of the spell setup is you even arranging them in a circle, you sit down, finish. Part of the spell setup is you even arranging them in a way that is both ascending in size and geometrically placed that is pleasing to the eye. But as you finish the final bits of your incantation, you feel your smile grow, and you close your eyes

and think very, very hard in the way that you do prayer loudly and all of you guys hear what she thinks might be your inside voice, but she speaks loudly around you. Dallor, okay, so we are here and I need to talk to you and I miss you. Can you come? Will it be a question if I ask if you can come talk to me? Just come talk to me, please, okay?

That's not a question. We're communing now. As the rain continues to fall around you, the vicinity that you're sitting has been getting slightly drier, or at least the vicinity around this little ritual you've set up seems to have no longer fallen under the rainfall. And there's a momentary reprieve from it.

As you open your eyes and look up, you can see a green cloak blocking the rain from touching you. You see the dark hood shaded over you, and... Are you all watching her do this ritual? Yeah. Mm-hmm. You see emerge from the stone a figure in a green cloak step from outside of the mountain

and protect her from the rain. Looking down towards you, you can see just a faint bit of the chin from what bit of light is coming through from bouncing off the ground, and you see a smile. It seems you called me, my dear. Yeah, I hope that's okay. I tried to talk to you before, and you didn't come, so I thought maybe what would be better

is if I actually really set it up. I've been very busy setting up for our coming event. I know, I'm so excited about that. I'm going to need your help here soon enough. I bought so much fabric, we can make, you know, cloaks and outfits for everybody. Wonderful. Right? Divine Sense. Okay. What? Divine Sense?

Okay, Divine Sense. Shit. On the giant green cloak that just came out of the rock! As an action, you can detect good and evil until the end of your next turn. You can sense anything affected by the house bell or another location of any celestial fiend undead within 60 feet that is not behind total cover.

Okay. Sitting this, right? Beau saw him. Gotcha. You do not sense anything. Do not sense anything? You do not sense anything. Not a celestial fiend undead.

That's good. Not good or evil? Or affected by the Hallows spell. It's just divine sense. Let me check the Hallows spell real fast, just to double check. I don't know Hallows. I don't remember the specifics of it,

so I want to make sure. Wait, does it sense good or evil? No, it's just specific types. Detect good and evil. The closest maybe would be a celestial, but really, if he is a deity, as Liam talking, he's something other than. Wait, so isn't anything that?

It says you can sense anything affected by the Hallows spell. I don't know what that is. Okay. You do sense something. What does that mean? What does that even mean? What does that mean? What's a Hallows spell. I don't know what that is. Okay. You do sense something. What does that mean? What does that even mean? What does that mean? What's a Hallows spell? I don't know. What is that?

I don't know what that is. What? What's a Hallows spell? You sense a presence that clicks into your attention. That's your question. Okay, so we are on our way up north. You go see this witch lady who's super, super creepy,

and she put a curse on Nott. That's terrible. I know! And she also fucked with Beau's dad. And so basically, we want to know if you know the best way to get rid of that curse. Should we talk to her? Should we attack her? As is the nature of such mysteries, I need you to ask me the right kind of question. Hmm.

This is getting so specific. Well? Okay. I'm bound by incantations. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, this is not the way I should talk to you then, because I don't like you being bound. Just ask me a proper question, please. What should I ask him? How should I ask this?

I'm not there. Do we hear him speaking, or is it just her? You guys don't hear any conversation, just her side of it. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. To break the curse, do we need to kill her? Which curse? She has several curses. To break the curse, do we need to kill her? Which curse? She has several curses. He knows what curse I'm talking about.

I don't know what curse you're talking about. The you curse. Okay. That is a method. Okay. Best I can ascertain. I haven't met the woman. Okay, I'm glad you told me that, because that was going to be one of my questions.

But such curses, there can be many ways. Really? Don't answer that. Jadon laughs, like, Hiya! Hiya! What is the shortest route to get to her? The hood curls up a bit, and you see, puts her finger up in the direction,

and looking across the path to all of you, and gives a nod to the group as the attention passes over you, and points and goes, I think that might be the path you want to take, and points. From where you're standing, you can see it switch backs a bit and it does split at some point

halfway down the mountain as the trees begin to grow more and more dense. The direction he's pointing ends up going a little further northwest. Okay. Is there anything we can do to help prepare ourselves to meet her? Yes. Aw.

It's been wonderful. Oh! And he pinches the edge of your chin. Now, I've got to get back to my work. Oh. And he vanishes, and you guys watch as the cloak swirls, and then this dull flash of greenish-blue light is gone.

Caleb, keen mind, memorizes the exact path in relation to the direction north. Fair enough. Jester, we saw everything. He's real. I know he's real. But we heard him also, that's not, that's. Well, it's you, you didn't.

No, we didn't. We heard nothing, but we saw so much. It felt like we heard him. Did you see his mouth moving? Did Beau see something in Asarius? I'm trying to remember. Is Beau the only one who's also actually seen Traveler stuff? I think so, yeah.

I think so, okay. In the room. That's right. Remember when we saw that acolyte guy? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. And I was like, I don't know. I will say this. He's very handsome. Well. He was a floating cloak.

You also can't see his face very much, but you can tell from his posture. And did you see the bottom of his chin? I saw his chin at times. He held himself with confidence, the way he sort of pointed and gestured like a ballerina. I know, he was very graceful. And there's this one point where he went like this.

He's not that handsome. You're just attracted to mystery or something. I mean, you barely saw his face. Who is attracted to mystery? I mean, yes, of course I am. I'm not, no, I like very upfront delivery of goods. Delivery of goods? No, no, no shady biz.

I'll say this about you. You were a lot more handsome and attractive before we knew everything about you. When you were a mysterious orphan with mysterious ties to a strange water god, that was sexy. Now you're just some creeper who just, well. I think it was more the accent, really.

That, too. This accent is so plain. This might be the worst thing everyone's ever said to me. That's not plain. It's insanely harsh on us, too. I grew up in an orphanage, yeah. I think your accent now is wonderful. So do I, but I have never heard it.

I had heard that other accent plenty, Fjord, and I like this one more. Well, maybe it's the menagerie coach. Have you ever seen his face? But just you see it's like a thorn. It still doesn't change that much. It's not that attractive. Fjord, you're very handsome.

Not everyone can be a centaur or whatever. Okay. It was not a centaur, it was a minotaur. I got what she meant. I saw his face when I was younger, but that was when he looked younger. Then as he started to get older, he stopped showing his face as much,

so I only know what he looked like as a kid. He was a kid when you met him? Well, yeah. Huh. He was a couple years older than me. Well, you said he was whatever you needed at the time, right? Like, his appearance changes?

Is that what you said? Old stories are filled with tales of the gods taking on whatever form they want, so. I thought you said something like that. Or maybe I just thought that when you were telling us about him. Maybe that's what it is. I don't know.

Either way, super cool and mysterious. We know you got a direction. Yeah. That way. Anything else? You know, he's tricky. He told me that killing her would definitely take care of the curse. He also made it seem like maybe there were other ways

to take care of the curse. But killing her, solid. Then I tried to ask another question and it just fucked me over. So wait, is he so tricky and trickstery that if he said, she's that way, he was tricking you? No, no, no. Okay, okay. No.

Okay. Whatever on you you are saying. Ew. You know, that's the first time that, like, I mean, I've tried that spell before, but that's the first time you're really stuck to it. Maybe he's becoming more powerful and he doesn't have time for little spells. Well, let's proceed on.

Okay. Gather your... Oh, I leave one on the rock, so anybody else that comes along can pray to him as well. All right. I can make so many more, I have a lot of paint. Hyah! Getting back on your horse, you make your way down the pathway

over the next few hours until eventually you see where the path splits and the trees grow more and more dense and taller. Taking the path that you were guided to in the northwest direction by the Traveler, you begin to make your way underneath the darkened canopy of the forest that claims this valley. We're moving slower now, right?

Because we're on the routes. You have to, yeah. Okay. You're moving faster than a walking pace, but not at a full horseback riding pace, because the pathway itself moves and there are trees in the way. I'm going to send Frumpkin the Raven up into the treetops to go from branch to branch,

occasionally look down at myself to make sure I'm not going to fall off, but stay ahead and try to peer ahead a little bit. Who is at the front of this? Who is guiding, essentially, the party through the dangers of the wood? Is it survival or perception? Generally, I would say either or.

The DC is easier for survival. Frumpkin will assist whoever is searching. My survival's okay. It's okay, mine's okay. I'm drinking. Oh, oh, god. I got knocked off. I would say Frumpkin would be its own separate role, because it is not actually with them looking ahead.

I'll assist, then. Okay. Oh god, I feel vaguely responsible. Okay, you're going Perception or Survival? Survival. Okay. So we're essentially beginning what is a traveling skill challenge.

So you're taking survival as the first part of the skill challenge. You have advantage, though. There are, as part of this journey, you require four victories. Four victories out of how many tries? We don't know. As many tries as you want. But four victories to complete your journey.

For every failure, I roll here to see what you encounter. Oh! Yes! I don't want to complicate this. Frumpkin comes in and I roll. Roll bad. I know. Go grab her, girl! Go put this up for us, Marisha! Goddamn you!

I got a natural 20, I'm so sorry. I have a d4. Oh, plus four. Oh wait, plus my d4. Wait, she got a 20. I got a natural 20. Oh! Yeah sorry. Add a d4. Oh, plus four. Oh wait, plus my d4. Wait, she got a 20. I got a natural 20. Oh! Yeah, but we got to see what she got. 25 total. Ah, she got a natural 20. 25. Oh, that's bad.

Because we want love, so we have to fight a monster. Oh! I want the astral dream now to come out and be like, you were inside me! All righty. So as you continue forward. Beautiful death. Let's see, dark wizard music here in sound.

Pushing forward for the first leg of this journey, deep into the overgrowth and dense forest that claim the middle of this valley, Beauregard keeps a keen eye with Caduceus holding up the rear. Both eyes ahead, you watch as the path curls and turns, and there is one element where the path itself seems to become a bit difficult to follow.

The overgrowth has claimed a lot of it, but your keen eyes combine and manages to find the remnants of it. After about another hour of travel, keeping a very close eye on where you're going, the tree owl picks up once more, and you prevent yourselves from being lost. Oh shit.

Who would like to take the next leg? With whatever skill you think would be appropriate to apply to this journey. Oh, so you would say change off from survival to something else? You can do survival again, but the DC will be higher this time. Oh, so you keep doing the same skill, but it gets higher.

I'll take the perception, just since we're going to hit everything, I'll do a, or actually, you know what, I'll do animal handling. I'm going to talk to my horse and let them know, hey, we're, trail's getting a little rough, so I need you to keep very, very, very close eye on things. Things are, might get a little rough. All right, so leaning into the horse's instincts

to guide you in the proper path away from danger. You go ahead and speak to it, pat it gently, and hope that it knows the way. Go ahead and. Is anyone assisting, or am I just going? With fucking animal handling? I'm going to assist. I'll pat my horse, too, and go,

hey, you hear? I don't know if you do manage. Do you hear all the dishes it's talking to? Okay, I mean. and I'm giving myself guidance because what the heck. Okay. I fell my horse. Go the right way! It's not too good. That's good. Actually, okay, so.

That's not bad. 19. 19's good. 19, okay. Not terrible. This deep into the valley, the horse confidently begins to pick up a trot. Ow, ow, ow, ow. ow. You guys keep up behind it. Oh, no, no, no.

The density of the forest grows darker and darker, and you can feel your horse getting nervous. It begins to give exclamations of and start getting a little strange, and so it begins to dart off the path a little bit towards a clearing where it feels more comfortable. As you guys follow suit, you come into an open clearing here

in the middle of the day, the still clouded sky above, but it's a welcome opening to this space. And as you step out into it. Caduceus, is this right? This is pretty. Are you all right? Caduceus knows the forest. Slow for a second a bit and look around.

The whole clearing is empty of any sort of wooden creatures. Do we hear any bugs? Hear anything? Make a perception check. I'm going to. Nope, don't hear shit. 14. 14.

14. You pick up one quick sound. Just in the last minute, you glance up and you can see a branch and a tree not far from you bow slightly. And at the end of the branch, you see what looks to be a bird perched. Mostly a bird, kind of a bird.

You see bird legs grabbing onto it. You see wings that have folded bird perched. Mostly a bird, kind of a bird. You see bird legs grabbing onto it. You see wings that have folded and you see the feathers are black and matted, like they have oil through them. They have this shine to them, like they had pulled themselves out of a tar pit. You can see elements dripping off the wings

as they fold and shake and go back into place. But where the torso is, you see what looks to be a gray-skinned female humanoid figure with long, tattered red wild hair that goes down to about the mid-back, this mane that pulls to the side, and you can see these yellow eyes peering down as it grins.

It's about 15 feet above you, and it just stays there and looks at you. Didn't harpies kill our horses? Harpies ate our horses when they were back in Mothman. No! As you glance and make eye contact, it goes, You lost flesh. I ask you for a piss.

Despair makes flesh tasty. Well, it's good that we're so happy then. We're very content, yes. Where do you go? We're looking for mushrooms in the woods for our papa. Papa. For dinner, for supper, he sent us looking for mushrooms in the woods.

And starts laughing, you hear laughter. Fuck! Oh shit. And the trees around him, you glance up and notice now there are numerous of these creatures that were perched in the trees that were just waiting, resting, hunting, who knows, but they're there now.

We have a meeting with the witch, Sharni. Do you know her? We know of her. Mean witch. Mean witch. Mean witch. She's a witch. Mean, mean. What does she mean?

You'll find out. Or maybe not. As she says that, her jaw hangs open a little longer than it should, and you see the tongue lull out, and as it does, this darkened spittle flings outward and spatters into the ground about three feet from you. The horse backs up a bit.

Your horse, this horse led us here. I'm going to turn invisible. You wouldn't mind if we had a grievance with her? Perhaps there is something we could trade to come through? Trade, maybe. What you have to trade? Many things. Yeah, Nott, offer yourself up.

I'm invisible! Nott, offer yourself up. I'm invisible! Nott's saddle is empty. Hang on, I pull my horse back. Nott, get on my horse. Oh, okay. I will stealthily switch horses. What? Tate! Caleb holds up a big glass jar full of boba

and says, perhaps you are hungry for something sweet? And I trot up with the horse and add the horse to the offering. The horse is the sweet part and this is for nutritional value. What is in? This is enough to fill your belly for a day and you needn't savage anything.

You see all the other harpies in the trees kind of flap down a few branches. They're still above, but they're much closer and kind of circling in a bit as the one that you're talking to, who you can plainly see is larger than the others and seems to hold a position of power or leadership within this cluster,

and fly down in your direction. Right towards you. Is that yeas? Yeas or nays? No, sorry, keep going, keep going, sorry. And then lands on the ground in front of you. Walks up right up to the front and unclogs it. The smell is terrible.

You've dealt with seafaring harpies. These are larger and more grotesque, both in their hygiene and... These are terrifying harpies. The teeth themselves are much sharper and jagged, reminiscent of some of the worst goblin jaws you've seen. And it seems that their sweat in itself is a thick oil that both protects and seeps into their feathers.

That's why they have that kind of glistening shine to them. And the sweat itself has almost like a dark brown coloration to it, where it looks like they had just been doused in oil or blood of some kind, and it's just stayed. Caleb is going to lean down and place the jar into one of the saddlebags of the free horse, and gives it a little nudge on the tuchus. She goes ahead and heads up to it.

You leave it open? Yeah. That's like nine days worth. Make a persuasion check. Come on, Caleb. I don't want to fail it, I don't want to fight. Natural 20. It's a one. Oh, is it one? Why would you say that as you're rolling?

Got what I wanted. Just spits them out and they onto the ground and spatter. Everyone needs to roll an eight. Yay! Guys, this much needed combat is powered by Dwarven Forge. Everything you need to know, everything you need to know in life

is at dwarvenforge.com. Oh boy, here come the maps. Get out the map! Get out the map! I like this map. Let's see if I have enough horses at the table here. Here come the bots. Oh! Dwarven horses! I like that. Let's see if I have enough vintage indigo girls. Horses at the table here. Fear, Coulter, Butz. Ooh! Two more horses!

They're going to get fucked up. No! Are her heartbeats going to get, are her horses going to get hurt? Are your heartbeats? Ha ha ha! They're going to get heartbeats. Let's try to save them.

Totally didn't have quite as many horses here, but I got a couple wolves that we'll just consider to be. Sure. Technically not as a pony. They're like babies. So these will be there as well. We've got lots of horses. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

Beauregard, you're there. Nott in the back of that one. Their hair's moving because they're running. This is the one that was awkward. Where are the rest of you guys? Which horses are yours? I'll be on that black one in the middle. All righty.

I'll be on that one on the left. Yeah, go ahead. I can be on that one on the left here. Your right. White horses. We'll rip a bit back there. You got it? I'll be by the one on the back there. Over here? Yeahbek. Yeah. You got it? I'll be by the one on the back there.

Over here? Yeah. All right, step forward, then I'll put you there. Your white horses. You got it, all right. Oh boy. The Matron is backed up here and is actually, at this point now,

flown up to that point in the sky. Just getting it going, getting it going. Getting some proper battle music in here. SAM and LAURA and SAM and LAURA and SAM and SAM. Hey, hey, little door, don't break it. We then have up in here, I think there's some other. Oh, no's new.

That looks like something out of the Return of Oz movie. Oh, we were just talking about that. Oh shit, we'd be surrounded by some eagle flamingos. Wake up in the Florida. Yee-da-da-doo. Spring break! Oh boy. I hate all of it.

Ah! We'll set the course a little bit. That one will be up here. How many are there? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Then we'll stay up here. All right. Cool, cool, cool, cool.

I'm sure it's fine, guys. All right. Mm-hmm. Up here. Mm-hmm. Oh boy, here we go, here we go, here we go. So initiative here. We haven't done this in a minute. Yep, in a while.

Oh. Oh, okay. 25 to 20. Oh, I didn't even roll, sorry, sorry. 23. Nice. Nope. Rolled away.

21. 21, all right. 22! Yeah! That's actually well. Yasha, Jester, Beau, right? Beau, Yasha, Jester. 20 to 15.

15. No, no, no, no, 19. 19. I rolled a 23. What'd you say? 22. 15 to 10. 14. Is that 14 for...

I lost you. No, no, no, I can't. I'm already checked out. I lost you. No, no, no, no, 19. And then Fjord at 12. 12, got it. All right, so, beginning of the round, Beau, you're up first with Yasha on deck. You can see them now all ready to leap off the trees and swarm in.

So none in range? At the moment, no. All you hear is the chorus of screeches all around you. No! I slap Water Closet and I say, be free and give him a slap on the ass. All right. Taking Nott with it.

And I, no, no, Nott was on mine. Oh, you're slapping the one in front. The free one that I was offering. Oh, I see, I see. All right, no, Nott was on mine. Oh, you're slapping the one in front. The free one that I was offering. Oh, I see, I see. All right, and what you are invisible, so I'm going to put that on Marca there. Yeah, that's what I wanted. Sorry.

Okay, it'll be your action to do that, just as a heads up. Oh. So like, reach forward, because you're on a horseback, to reach forward and slap it enough to send it off, that'll be your action. Bonus action, patient defense.

That's what I was going to do. Okay, got it. I'll say as part of that, the horse runs off. Bonus action, patient defense. That's what I was going to do. Okay, got it. I'll say as part of that, the horse runs off. Hopefully he's a distraction. This thing's there. We'll just say at the top, so it just swoops and continues galloping away at the moment. Patience defense for that bonus action.

Yasha, you're up first. Jester, you're on deck. Okay. Okay. I would like to rage. Yeah! You got it. Okay, so. Beautiful. It's like a dot com. Dot com. Okay, so could I jump off my horse?

And I mean, will that be considered an action if I jump off the horse? No, jumping off would be a happier movement. All right, I'm going to jump off the horse and start running towards this bish over here. Here? Yeah. Two, three. You can get right underneath it.

Great. It's not within range, though. Not within range. No. Okay. It's about 10 feet up. Fuck. Okay, so I will just... Just rage and... You can hold your action if you want to. I'll tell it to come down when it's in range.

Okay, so when it comes within range, you'll make an attack. Yes. You got it. All right, that finishes your go. Jester, you're up. I'm going to cast Spiritual Guardians.

Spiritual Guardians, okay. At 5th level. Oh damn, what's the radius on that again? That is 15 feet around me. 15 feet around you. All right, we'll go ahead and put it. So just an array of really buff-looking, pink flying unicorns.

They're really muscly because they're 5th-level. So some of them have two horns. Nice, nice. And razor claws for their hooves. Okay, so with that situated in place. Anything that enters within the 15th radius of me gets, that I don't designate. Anybody that's a friend doesn't get it, but.

Correct. They'll take. Dead! No. 5d8. Who by that rule? You guys would be dead a long time ago. There. All right. So you have that situator, are you going to stay place, or are you going to try and kick your horse

to move somewhere? I'm going to try to stay within range of everybody around me to try to give them protection, since I'm in the middle here. Okay. So I'm going to stay in the middle as much as I can. Okay, you probably want to move forward a little bit. Probably be the best way to handle that.

So you move forward to there on horseback. Sure. All right. And that will say, we'll put pretty much everybody within the radius with you on top of the horse. Cool. Got it. Does that finish your turn, Jester? Yeah, because my bonus is,

I don't think I have much of anything. All righty, it is now the Gorefeather Harpies' turn. Fuck. Gorefeather. Gorefeather. Gorefeather. The Gorefeather Harpie invented the internet. This one swoops down here. This one swoops down here. This one swoops down here to pincer attack Fjord just outside of the radius of the unicorns.

Sorry. Unicorns? This one here is going to Oh, sorry, I thought we were also fighting unicorns. to go ahead and attack you, Caduceus. This one is going to go swoop down towards you, Yasha. This one's going to head in towards Beau. Stay right there.

The ones going after Beau, I think, will just touch the radius. Awesome. Most likely. So is it a wisdom save? Let me see. Wisdom save, yes. That is going to be a 10.

Woo, fail! So that is 5d8. Roll damage on that. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know why, but never mind. 11, 12, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know why I bought the card.

Um, 11, 12, 13, 14. 14, 20, one, 25, 26, 32. Damn. Ooh! As it swoops in, its claws up in the air, going in towards Beauregard, it immediately gets slammed with four of these muscular, screaming unicorns that just rush into it,

stabbing it with its horns, and you see it pull back a bit. It's blood everywhere. Mixing with whatever its oil is, it's hurt pretty bad. I rolled 8d8 instead of 5d8. Okay. So I'll take the 14, which was the first four numbers,

then I'm just going to roll the second one again. Okay. That's cool for our fight. Okay, so that's 18 damage. Still hurt, but not as bad as you thought. I just look over my shoulder at Jester. All right. The one that's going towards Caduceus, it lands and it gives out a horrifying screech. That echoes out into all of you, piercing your ears.

Everybody make a wisdom saving throw for Caduceus. Oh no, oh noes. Oh noes. 23. Natural 20. Nice. 17. Nice. natural 20. Nice. 17. Nice. Natural 20. Nice.

Natural one? Natural one. Whoa! Nott, you are frightened. The universe demands balance, man. You are frightened of the one over here, Caduceus. Okay. One, you are also frightened.

Caduceus? 25. One. You are also frightened. Gooses? 25. 16. 16, all right. The rest of you manage to resist the effect. Those two immediately, filled with fear as it screeches, tends to pierce your mind and your sense of confidence. Knowing it's there and you're being surrounded, you could feel the adrenaline pumping in your system and the urge to just run.

That's that one. There are two against you, Fjord, that both have you flanked. They're going to get advantage on their attacks. Okay. The first one. Okay, that's a 13. That misses. Yeah. It went to advantage, it was a one and a seven.

The other one, on the opposite end, that's a little better. That'll be a 24 to hit. That hits. That one deals oof. That is 10 points of slashing damage to you. Okay. Then the one attacking you, Beauregard,

has disadvantage on the strike because you didn't pay your defense. That is going to be another 13 to hit. Misses, we duck out of the way on that one. There's the one that's- Praetor natural counter.. Predator natural counter. Predator natural counter. Predator nature.

Right. Predator natural. Predator nature. Predator, predator natural. Predator natural counter. Predator natural. Predator. Predator natural. I think the effect takes place

after you've marked something or analyzed it. You just have to pee on it. Fuck. But. Pee on stuff. But next time you do that, you can totally do that. Goddamn it! I know. Then there's the one attacking you, Yasha. Natural one, they are rolling terrible.

Well. All right, so that's their turn. Nott, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck. All right. Because I'm frightened, I have disadvantage on attack rolls? Correct, and you cannot move closer. Against everything or just against that one creature? While you're within sight of it, or you can see it,

you have disadvantage on attack rolls. Okay. So that negates sneak attack. Yes, unless they're adjacent to somebody. Okay. You cannot move closer to that one. That is the source of your fear. Then I will yelp and run away from it

towards the mother harpy. Two stars. All righty. How much do you want to move through? One, two, three. Like right under the mother harpy? Yeah, because you are invisible, doesn't get an attack opportunity, doesn't even know you're there.

Okay. I can still attack things, just not that one. Correct. Oh, okay. Technically, Yasha also would've gotten an attack since she was holding. That's right. Oh, oh, yes. Let's go ahead and roll your attack on that guy. Okay.

And you're raging. 15. 15 hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Yes, okay. Get all my paces. Ooh, okay. 23 points of damage. You take a hearty chunk out of that. It swoops down and strikes towards you.

You duck out of the way and spin around with momentum and slam your blade into the side of its back. It stumbles to the ground and limps forward a few steps more. It starts getting back up. It's hurt. Finishing your turn, Nott? I will take out my crossbow and aim it, but I find I'm shaking so much, I can't get a true aim,

so I will spend my action and bonus action consuming alcohol. Okay, fair enough. So action and bonus action, six seconds of straight chugging. That'll make you drunk. Okay. So you shrug off the fear,

but you're also now drunk. Is that because you were afraid or it does something to add to your fighting? Huh? It's an effect trait, I think. It's a character choice, Tripp. I am now immune to fright. All right, Caduceus, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck.

Yeah. You just get one thing. Nice. Are you immune to fear? It's great. Yeah, it's great. Okay. Oh, I'm up, okay. Best way to describe these,

except for the one that Yasha hit, I think most of these are technically still partially in the air, is kind of how they're striking from up and adjacent. Except for the one that Yasha's doing, they're knocking the ground. Okay, I'm, I kind of like what you did, Jester,

that was kind of cool, so I'm also going to cast Spirit Guardians at level four. Damn, all righty. People be liking them guardians. People be liking them guardians. True. What do yours look like?

Mine are little iridescent beetles and little flying insects. It's just that look and the little dragonfly. Are they a complementary color to gesture? Well, yeah. Oh yeah, they're all, it's all that nice, like, iridescent oil slick kind of look. All righty, so they are also swirling around 15 feet.

I imagine there's at least one red dragonfly, though. Oh, I would hope so. Okay, good. My god. Two clerics in the party, I now need two 15-foot ones. Let me see if I got fly them. Oh, I would hope so. Okay, good. My god. Two clerics in the party, I now need two 15-foot ones. Let me see if I got something here. Dump, dup, dup, dup. Dirty dump. Here.

Since you said that you were distant. Oh yeah. I'll go ahead and use this rainbow circle to mark that one. Woohoo! Yay! There we go. It's everything I've ever wanted. There you go. All right. Oh, good.

So I'm just, and I'm going to just, I guess, use my bonus action just to tell all the horses to stay in the circle. All of you stay in the circle, should be okay. A couple of the horses' heads are going to look back at you, acknowledging. Yeah, since that's my action and my bonus action, I'm not, yeah, I don't want to step out

with that one that's next to me, so. Okay. Yeah, I've got good coverage right now, so. You got it. All right, finishing Caduceus' turn. Do they take, the two that are in there take damage immediately, right? Doesn't it say they take it immediately,

or do they take it on top of their turn? They take it on the top of their turn, when they enter the circle, or when they start. Affected creature's speed is halved in this area, by the way. Correct. But I think they take damage. Yeah, enters in the first time or starts his turn there. Right, so next time in their turn, they'll take it.

Yeah. All right, Caleb, you're up. Caleb is rummaging through his pockets as he backs up away from the main harpy into the horses, bumps into Jester and says, oh, are you okay? Instantly turns around and slaps batshit and Sulfur together and the fireball flies up out of the air and explodes up and behind the main harpy there, level four.

All right. Explodes the entire vicinity of this open glade, brightly lights up as fire bursts in the air, engulfing this harpy matron. You see it now fall about 10 feet before having to catch herself back up in the space she was. That is going to be, ooh, 50-bad roll. That is a nine on the dex save.

Total of 26. 26 damage. Ooh! Still holding herself in the air. Burn and charred smoke emerging and some of the feathers have curled back. The edges of them glowing orange like cinders from the fireball,

but still standing there angrily now staring in your direction. I will crouch six inches lower amongst the horses and take my turn. Okay, fair enough. It is now the matron's turn. Oh no. Perfect. Angrily, it's going to go ahead and swoop in and keep that same height against you.

We'll save it for the purposes of this. Does it take 5d8? It does. Makes its wisdom save as it comes into the range. That is going to be 14. Fails. Does not succeed. Ooh, that's good.

15, 21, 25. 29. 29. That was a much better one. Oh yeah. Swoops in and gets assaulted by the barrage of super, super, super buff tiny unicorns. Yeah! Piercing and scrimming past, it takes the damage,

but continues to push through, eyes on the prize towards Mr. Caleb there. It's going to make two attacks with its claws on you. First strike, it's going to be a 17 to hit. Shield. Shield, all righty. Shield goes up and deflects the first volley of claws, the second attack, it's a natural 20.

No! Dispelled. Yes! Because you can do that with your reaction, yep. Oh! Whoa! So you suffered nine points of slashing damage, Caleb. Yeah, okay.

That's so much worse. All righty. You now see all the unicorns swirling and battering, and it's just right above Caleb, taking the hits, but wanting to look intent to try and grab and yank out of that space. That brings us to Fjord's turn. Fjord, what are you doing?

I am going to cast Omen of Agathys on myself. Okay, there you go. That is, as you, looking around, the harpies to each side of you, scraping and clawing at you, and you're trying to shrug them off and use the blade to deflect it,

you put your hand up, touch the front of your chest, and watch as this heavy set of jagged spiked ice encases the front of his torso. You can see freezing mist drifting off of his upper torso as the spell takes effect. Fifth level. Ooh! Yeah, fifth level, so we have 25 temporary hit points. Oh! Dang.

Ah, yes, and that is it. All right, finishing your turn, top of the round. Beau, you're up, Yasha, you're on deck. All right, I'm going to go after the one that's right in front of me. I'm just going to grab it by its beaky face and just pop, pop. Go for it, take your strikes.

Bob, Bob. Bob, Bob. Bob, Bob. Bob one and Bob two. Ooh, oh my god, those are both 18s, natural 18. So 28 for both of them. Both of them hit. Bob has a punch. Which means, Yeah, those are both 18s, natural 18, so 28 for both of them. Both of them hit. Bob has the points. Which means... Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Bob Bob Buran? Bob Bob Bob. Bob Bob Buran. Bob Bob Bob. The first one is 12 total. The second one is 14 total. 14 is the first two hits. You see it pulls back. You see the first hit hits in the torso.

The second one actually strikes in the jaw and some of the jagged, spiked teeth go flying off from the side. It withdraws for a moment and then you see it going back in angrily, about to retort, you still have your bonus action. This one was getting close after the death unicorns, right?

This one didn't quite make it into the death unicorns. It was the one that Caduceus did. This one is just out of the range from where she was standing. Are the death unicorns still going? Yeah. They're still going. Can I grab it by its neck and thrust it into the? That would have been your action to attempt that.

It's unfortunate. Fuck, titties, ass. Bonus action you still got, but yeah, that would have been a full action to try and do that. Ass, ass, and titties. DJ Assault. I will. Thinking of you. Cheers.

Okay, question. If I extract aspects on one of these heart pieces, does it extract those aspects? Does it affect them all? Does it affect them all? And. Does it affect them all? And then I can Prune or Natural Counter any of them? Yep, any future ones you encounter. He makes the names.

I know. Just say, Blah Blah Blah. I feel like you need to apologize to a few countries. Looking at him. What does customization have to do with this? Flurry of Bows. Go for it. Flurry of bows.

Never gets old. That one's cocked. All right. Oh, both are bad. 16 and 13. 16 both hit. Oh! Really? Not a super high AC. These general gorefeather harpies, not a high AC.

These basic beeches? Yes, if you will. If you will. 12 for the first one, nope. I'm glad that we both went to Spiritual Guardian. Nope, sorry, 10 for the first one. All righty. And 13.

Five, six, yeah, 13 for the second one. Okay, so. It extracts those aspects. So after the two first hits, you pull back as one of its claws goes by your face. You grab the back of its leg, and with your fist, slam it into its back and hold onto its spine, and you let your ki

pass into it for a second, and as you do, you immediately understand a lot of its physical weaknesses and where the interior of it is. They are resistant to necrotic damage. Okay. With that, you pull your hand back and also realize, oh man, that spine's pretty brittle. You punch a second time in there,

and you feel it snap, and it just goes limp in your grasp and falls to the ground. As I'm holding the dead turkey, can I turn to the group and say, don't use death magic! You got it. All right. That's a bad day.

Put the pencil down. Did that finish your turn, Beau? Yeah. Yasha, you're up. Just do your own death. All right. I'm going to keep attacking the one that's right next to me. Mm-hmm. Fuck it up! It's cocked.

Ooh, okay. 22. 22 hits. Okay. Get better than done, done, done. First hit. 22 for the first attack. 22 points of damage, all righty.

Second attack. That might not hit. Oh no, 14. 14 hits. Yeah! No damage to that guy. Okay. You know what? I'm going to try this this other thing that I have.

Where did it go? Savage Attacker, where you can reroll the damage it go? Savage attacker, where you can once per turn where you can reroll the damage, but you can use either total. Correct. So let me see if I can roll back on that. Yes, that was much better. Okay.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Certainly couldn't be worse. 20 total. 20 total. All right, so after it struck down towards you and you dodged it and then sliced it once last round and it fell to the ground, it begins getting itself back up.

As that happens, you take the blade, spin it around, and jam it into its abdomen, and it's still there holding it, both of its wings folding on it from the impact. You take your foot, press down on its own foot on the ground, and then arc the blade up and carve it right in half from the belly up and it spreads down the middle and flops on the ground, and then arc the blade up and carve it right in half from the belly up and spreads down the middle

and flops onto the ground. I need lessons. Give me lessons. Did you say tuna? Tuna! Oh. Tuna! Tuna! Tuna!

Tuna! Tuna! It's a dope battle cry. Sorry, I'm going to start a new battle cry. She's taking a lot of hits. Tuna! So good! She's still reeling from hits. Selvam! Selvam! She's still reeling from that pit fight.

Yeah. All right, so there are two right there that are beginning their turn in the circle of Caduceus's, one, actually, one that's in both of your guys' radius, and one that's just in Caduceus's. So go ahead and roll your damage, Jester. Blow for him! I'm not a donkey!

Seven, 11, 16, 18. Ooh! Oh! 26. 26, it did roll a natural 19. Okay, so half that. So it took half that, so it's 13 damage to it. And then the reduces, how much damage did you roll?

19, 22. 22. 22. Okay, both of them failed their saves. 22. The one that's been assaulting you, it gets pummeled with a bunch of unicorns stabbing at its side and, nay, as they rush into its side, it rears around

and tries to scrape them away with its claws as a swirling mass of beetles curls over its body and begins. It's like the 90s mommy movie. Yeah, it completely obfuscates its torso. You hear it screeching within, and as the bugs pull away, there's just bones where the torso once was. It collapses to the ground.

I got way too excited about that. Tuna! Grunt of tuna! Yeah. Yeah, collapses to the ground. I got way too excited about that. Tuna! We're the tuna! Yeah! It's the best. Two now, focusing on you. Oh, yeah, the other one took the damage, too. It did, yeah. Both to the advantage.

The first one is taking two strikes. Ooh! Holy shit. Two natural 20s. Oh! No joke. They get to go before me. They do get to go before me. Oh, it was your turn. That's right, I messed up on that.

It's okay, because I was. You keep those twice. Yeah, you keep them. Depends on the stance, sorry. So I wanted to move that direction towards the ones attacking Fjord to get them within my 15 feet. Okay.

Okay. I will allow that. Cool, cool, cool. And then, am I still frightened? That one's dead. That one's dead, so you are no longer frightened. Okay, or wait, but it, would it have been after my turn that it would have died? So I am still frightened.

So you are still frightened. So you have to move adjacent to go there. Cool, cool, cool, so I'll go that direction, and then spell attacks, I would still get disadvantage on a spell attack? Mm-hmm. Okay, so instead of doing a spell, I'm going to do a Sacred Flame at the matron.

Nice. Okay. That is a... That's a dexterity save. Oh, it's a dexterity. Oh, that's a 17. 17 is what she needed. Damn it. Yeah, so she darts out of the way. All right, so now we go to the Harpy's turn. Yes.

Your fear is gone now because it has died. Those two are there. Both get to roll to see if they get hit by your element. Okay. That would be... Oh wait, I wouldn't know again. 17 and a 15. The 17 saves.

Okay. 15 fails. Yes, and that was what I rolled before, I'm assuming. Do you want to just use the damage that I did the first time? That was a 28. Oh. 26. 26, yes. We are alive and covered.

This all makes perfect sense. Got it. They're both really hurt. Then there's the one that attacked you twice. Dual critical, they're still on my tray if you want to see them. I still don't have my reaction back, so there's nothing I can do. Now, you've already taken damage, correct? Mm-hmm.

Okay, so their Smell of Blood ability kicks in, so they do an additional bit of damage for each strike. The first one is going to be 25 points of slashing damage for the first strike. Okay, he takes 25 points of cold damage off of that strike. Yep. And as the ice bursts, it entirely freezes the harpy. As it strikes you, you go

falls back and shatters into the ground, T-1000 style. All the unicorns around him go, Yay! The others, and actually it would have gotten a second attack. Because it took away the second attack. There's two attacks each for this one. I just say happy.

So the second attack doesn't happen. Another one attacks. No, the 18, the happy unicorn. Yeah. 23 and 19. They both hit. Okay. First one does

eight points of slashing damage. Okay. And it takes? 25 points. It also dies. Yes! Oh my god, so cool. Oh, snap. Wow.

So. But that is the end of the armor of Agathys. Gotcha. Yep. Okay, so both of them, as they both strike you, approximately at the same time, you feel the impact, and as soon as that hits, the spell ricochets back as all the ice off your body just sprays, shooting hundreds of shards of icicle-like blades of ice

into both of them, and they fall to the ground and shatter into a million pieces. Whoa! That finishes their go. Nott, you're up. The only standing one right now is the matron that's been harrying. I will attack her with my crossbow. All righty.

Not the greatest attack. Shit. Always an accurate description. Only a 16. Hits. Oh! I assume sneak attack? Yes. Shit. Always in that character's description. Only a 16. Hits. Oh! I assume sneak attack? Yes. A rogue.

Whoa. He means. Rogues. Yeah. 24 plus six is 30, plus I'll do Fury of the Small, 41. How do you want to do this? Yeah! Pass and change.

In my drunken state, I will stumble, fall down, and then will accidentally shoot. Perfect. As you do so, the invisibility fades right as you're mid-fall. Ah! As you do,, the invisibility fades right as you're mid-fall. As you do, it takes off. The gorefeather harpy matron, who's currently in the process of about to sink its claws

into the eyes of Caleb, who's rushing and looking behind just as it swoops down. Large heaping claws ready to carve into its face. Here's the glances over the shoulder, and from a perspective of the bolt, you see the, and just goes right under the jaw

and emerges most of the way through the other side of the head. It's a unicorn. Yeah, this eye gets pushed a little out of the socket from the pressure behind the bolt. It's a puzzle, three. Yeah. It instinctually tries to fly.

Gets about five feet before it arcs and then tumbles onto the ground. Like an off-balance kite. No, no, no! Instinct! Did I hit it? Yay! I mean.

Like a fail video from Texas. Whoa! Poo-poo-ting! That went pretty well, right? Yeah, come back, WC, everything's okay. I think it's all done, we're good. Does the horse stop? The horse eventually does stop. It takes a moment.

A moment to find the horse, but you do manage to retreat from it. All right. All right. How many successes did we get before? Just two? No, that was a failure. One success and one failure.

Oh, fuck. Oh god. So your horse is regathered and pushing forward into the next length of this journey. You're now in the middle of the first valley and making your way up the next path in the northwestern direction over the next mountain ridge. Who's helming this next leg of the journey?

I'll do it. Okay. How would you like to help and aid the travel at this portion? I'm assuming sleight of hand and medicine don't really help much. If you can come up with a very creative way, you can attempt with a very high DC. Nope, I'm just going to use perception.

Okay. You don't need me, you can do your own. I'm going to guide myself, but does anyone want to help me keep an eye out? Anyone? I don't know. Okay. All right. All right.

Gentle giant. Oh,. Gentle giant. Cool. Oh, good, good. Hey! Uh, that is 21 plus. Green giant. What are the four? Thank you. 21 plus four, 25. 25, all right, that's a second success. Yes.

Leading yourself up through this portion of the forest, you eventually, with Jester's guidance, find your way up to the next mountain crest. This one getting slowly closer towards Mount Mentiri. As you hit the edge, you can see the bright red mountain a little ways ahead. This next valley below that you'll have to traverse that is the safest route you can take

is much wider than the one you just went through and will eventually lead towards the base of Mount Mentiri. The forest here is spotted from this distance, you can see from the daylight. You still have your about mid-afternoon at this point. You can see there are elements where the canopies break, and it's hard to see what's below them. And the tree colors and the various elements

of the foliage seems to transition. You also notice that a heavy fog is settled over elements of the mountains the further down you head into it, and the very, very tops of some of the trees at the base of the valley are mostly obscured by this fog. You're able to just make out the distant, dark shadows of where the treetops are.

So you continue down, slowly making your way through the next element of the dense forest. Who's helming this next leg of the journey? I'll do it. Okay. I will send Frumpkin into the air to fly low, out a good quarter of a mile ahead of us to see if there's anything dangerous.

Okay, so Frumpkin is utilizing perception, if that's right? Okay, so as you guys are following Frumpkin's lead, heading down this trail and path deep into the forest, go ahead and roll perception. I can't guidance you on the Frumpkin roll. Unfortunately, no. Be a good roll for once. No, that's two.

It's a three. Wait, don't you need assistance? Not with Frumpkin. Frumpkin is your assistant. You guys continue. It's foggy. It is foggy. As you head into the next leg of this dense forest, the fog itself begins to make it difficult

to see more than 20 or so feet ahead of you beyond just the shapes of trees slowly emerging from the mist. Following Frumpkin's lead and the communication you guys have whenever Frumpkin circles back over in your path, you continue pushing forward. The smell begins to change, has that really strong, earthy dirt scent that mingles with that familiar sulfurous smell

that a lot of Kamordas' atmosphere holds and it lingers. It's on your clothes, and you can smell it since you left the town. It just sticks to your clothes, but now it's all around you once more. And as you're watching Thumpkin fly overhead, you hear a... And you look down down and there is

what looks to be an open spring or a jet of a hot spring right next to you guys that sprays a massive geyser of scalding hot mineral water all over the entirety of your party. I need everybody to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw, please. Caleb was blind and deaf when that happened.

So probably not a good save. No. Dexterity. Oh, I can see that. 10. He doesn't. 22. Okay. So for a 10,

the mineral water splashes on you. And it's not mineral water. Not only is it hot, it begins to eat away at your skin. You take 15 points of acid damage. Beauregard? You take six points of acid damage, or seven points of acid damage. Ouch.

I rolled an eight, but the Ring of Evasion saves my bacon. Okay, so you're? Using a slot from it, yeah. Okay, so you. Can I evade? If I succeed, can I evade? For half damage? Run me the warding on that. Success, no damage.

If you fail, it's half damage. Right. Am I allowed to evade here? Yeah, so you would take none. Okay. You would. So Caleb, you go ahead and take seven points of acid damage. Nott, what'd you get? 12. 12.

But I will also evade. But evade, you fail, so you take half damage. Sure. So you take seven points of acid damage. Okay. I roll 18. 18, you take seven points of acid damage. Okay. I roll 18. 18, you take seven points of acid damage. Eight.

You take 15 points of acid damage. 23. 23, you take seven points of acid damage. Let me roll for the horses. Oh no, the horses! Not cool. Like a Western, I lean over to the side and shield the horse with my body.

SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, With the sprays, three of the horses fall. No! Plamed by the horrible liquid that spewed forth from this jet. Four horses! So you have four horses remaining. It is getting denser as you travel forward.

We should probably not have the horses anymore. But I don't want to send them back. What if there's more harpies? Caleb, can you do a spell and we can just send them to one of the libraries? Whoa, whoa. That's not big. Whoa. I don't. Ah!

Shh, I actually do not have that prepared. We can, you know, just if we just leave them here, by the time we come back, they'll disappear anyway. That's awful. Yes, go look that way. I will totally, totally magic them away. We can put them, we can put them, try and leave them somewhere safe.

Oh, there's definitely going to be creatures in this forest that will come eat them. Listen, they knew this was a one-night ticket. We did notice those long embraces before they left. This'll be it. All right, hey, Caduceus. We'll have to double up. Can you talk to them

and tell them to go back safely? I can. It's getting harder for them to travel anyway. Tell them to get back recklessly. It's going to be rough going from here, kids. Why don't we pack it in? Do you all remember the way back? They all loosely look in the direction

of where you traveled from. I think we'll take what's packed and we'll let you all head back then. They look at each other like, all right. We could also have them stay here. Oh. Caleb waves his hands in the air for a moment, and suddenly all the horses look like moorbounders. Ooh.

They look like moorbounders? Yeah, yeah. That's cool. Wow. That's likely to be a tag. Just go, all right? We didn't lock you anywhere, let's go! So. Morebounders.

Locking up Francie. Please, please, I know what you're rolling. One of the horses looks extremely spooked by suddenly being surrounded by other morebounders, but the other ones acknowledge that this was an illusory shift, but that one is still kind of, Oh, this is not real, it's not real, it's just a thing. You know what you can do.

You have to look at yourself! Make a handling check. Make a handling check, okay. It is dead. Oh, thank god, 10. 10. 10. You just manage to slowly calm it down. This is just to keep other things away.

It's all just to keep you safe. You manage to calm it and the four of them, with their new illusory presence, begin to make their way back in the direction from where you guys came. Eight hours. Nice job, you guys. Critical Role does not have the ASPCA logo. No, no.

You guys have been responsible over the years for many a mountain death. That will be the final boss, we'll just be the reanimated horse. Yeah. And workhorse. Sprinkle. Oh, Sprinkle's the leader. So much ass.

The Whispered Weasel. Yeah, he's a constellation now. All righty, so Horseless, you guys begin to press on further into the next leg of your journey as the hard ground of this element of the swamp begins to slowly soften, and with footfalls around you, you begin to hear this familiar slush of wet mud beneath your feet.

This slight sucking sensation of you having to pull your boots from the muck. You're beginning to helm into what seems to be mild marshland. Who's helming this next leg of the journey? Oh god. Yasha. Yeah. You're used to marsh. I'm used to this terrain.

I'll take the lead. Okay. What skill would you like to present for this one? Performance. With a soft shoe. Real soft shoe in the swamp. I'm singing it. Let's do, can I do athletics?

Because I'm moving through it just so smoothly. Because you guys are on foot, you can attempt to use your athletics to help find routes outside of the swamp and through boughs and trees, leaving from branch and finding the sun. It's going to be a high DC, but it's possible. Okay.

Oh, I'm going to give you Guidance. Okay. Come on, that's cocked. Oh boy. Oh, okay, good. A natural 20. Oh! I rolled a one and a natural 20.

So that would be 28. Well, Guidance is not advantage. Nevermind, so I roll the one. Guidance adds a d4. Okay. And then add your athletic skill. And that's 26. And we still...

Mercer giveth and Mercer taketh away. Can I borrow a d4, I'm sorry? Yasha doesn't use it. Cool. Oh no! Okay, that's a one. Oh, good. Okay, 10. 10, okay. Yasha, you're used to the-

Sorry, I thought you said, sorry. My bad, sorry. It's all good. You're used to the swamplands of Xhorhas where you've traveled through and grew near the Sorrow Seep, and the moorlands where you spent a lot of your life. These are different kinds of swamp, and the trees themselves are not as strong

as you would have thought. Some of them appear to be petrified, and some have died a long time ago. As you begin to leap from branch to finding the right trees in the various places where the ground is higher than the heavy water that tends to sit in a lot of the spaces, a lot of them are soft and bend or break, and that's a fail. Oh my god.

Nothing terrible happens, but the physical action of you guys following this path, the heavy mist that's around you, and the just physical exertion that has come to all of you, I need you all to make constitution saving throws for me, please. Oh boy. Mm-hmm. What the fuck, natural one.

Natural one. You take a point of exhaustion. 11. Point of exhaustion. Caleb? Un momento. 15. 15. You manage to pull through.

13. 13, you have a point of exhaustion. So is that two points of exhaustion? I'm drunk as well, which you said is disadvantage on ability checks? Correct, it's not two points of exhaustion. It's just double. Double disadvantage? You just have disadvantage.

You're disadvantaged with that. But as opposed to where that was just dexterity ability checks? No, that's everything. Then the exhaustion is everything, yeah. No, I mean, I was already disadvantaged on every ability check. So now do I have more disadvantage?

No. Okay, you're still on. Okay, good. Does not stand. Just 19. 19, you're fine. Caduceus? Nine. Nine. Point of exhaustion. Wow. Yasha? 17. 19, you're fine. Caduceus? Nine. Nine. Point of exhaustion. Wow. Yasha? 17.

17, you're fine. What is the disadvantage on life? Disadvantage on ability checks, just in general. Just a disadvantage in life. But you've made yourself partway into the swamp and you're getting close to the very base center of this valley. The water in places is creeping up the close to the very base center of this valley. The water in places is creeping up the knee to the thigh,

and some of them you have to push through waist-high, keeping your equipment and bags above you as you slowly push through this swamp. We still have to get two successes? Yep. We got this. We're all at disadvantage now. Two and two, right? We're two for two? Oh, you have two victories.

You need two more successes. Two and two, right? We're two for two? Oh, you have two victories. You need two more successes. Two more victories. We've got a lot more failures to victory. Caleb is going to pause for a moment and pull out a piece of obsidian and hold it to his chest and start casting in front of him, and a dark mirror image of Caleb comes into existence, casting Resonant Echo.

So there is now a darker, shadier Caleb walking with Caleb. It's made mostly of, it looks almost immaterial shadow or black smoke in a form that is very reminiscent of Caleb in almost every way, other than the fact that you can see through it. He looks at one and goes,

and the other one goes, and they start walking. Fjord, take note. Super mysterious. No idea what he's doing. He looks a little gothic and cool. Just a note. Is that how cool I look when I invoke duplicity? Well, I mean, that thing is dark and brooding.

The thing that you make is just so sweet. I mean, it looks cool, it just doesn't look like dark. All right. I think Jester's very mysterious. Jester's the best. Just not very dark. I will helm this next leg of the journey. All righty.

How would you like to aid your party in traveling through the swamp? I will investigate Okay. the areas of the swamp, trying to glean from markings and things which direction animals have gone to circumvent dangers. Okay.

That's good. Go ahead and make a check. Hey! The Traveler believes in you. Oh wait, disadvantage. Plus a d4. Plus four. Okay. Ooh!

This is investigation? Yes. 29! Whoa! Wow. Jeez. That'll be your third success. You do actually, keeping track of watching the various birds that travel through, markings for woodland creatures,

and sometimes larger than woodland creatures, you can see different patterns across the bark of the trees and elements of the stone and exposed earth outside of the water that show you the often-traveled paths of the denizens of this swamp, which one, helps you stay in the safer route from any sort of natural hazards around you. Two, helps you avoid crossing paths

where some of the more predatory denizens might be. So with that, you push through a majority of the swamp, exiting where the deepest parts of the waters are, and begin to make your way up the incline towards the base of Mount Mentiri. You grow close to the end of this journey towards where, at least you assume, the home of this sage might be.

Who wants to handle this next leg of the journey? Should we sleep? Should we take a short rest? It's been a half hour. At this point, you've been traveling Who wants to handle this next leg of the journey? Should we sleep? Should we take a short rest? It's been a half hour. Yeah, at this point, you've been traveling since very early in the day when you guys left. You gather you're probably about two hours out from dusk.

I feel like if we can just get a little bit further, we'll be better off. What if we get a little bit further and the hut's right there, and then the witch knows of everything that's within range of her, and then she comes in and attacks us in the night, and then we all die because we're exhausted.

I could use a short rest. A short rest? But if you short rest, then it's going to be nighttime. I say we press on until we get closer. Okay. I could helm this last bit. There's nowhere to... Do it, Fjord. This is not a good stopping point, I assume.

It doesn't seem to be a... Yeah, it's not a happy, fun place. You can camp in the middle of a swamp, sure. Yeah, let's just get to high ground. I will use Mask of Many Faces to make myself look like an undead harpy that we just killed. Cool.

And I will try and deceive my way through the swamp, acting like I know where I'm going. You guys, see what I'm saying? Yeah! He's going to make swamp sounds. We're going to let Fjord go about 20 feet. Yeah. That's a good call.

He's method acting his way there. I'm going to guide him, guidance him in some way. I'm totally connected to this territory. I believe in you. What inspires hearts? How do they move? All right, if you're going to inspire on this, I will say that will put you adjacent to the undead harpy

because you only have six seconds for Guidance to laugh. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Can I assist? Guidance is fine. If you want to walk ahead with him? I'll walk ahead with him. Okay. So you have one undead harpy and a Yasha Mm-hmm. If you want to walk ahead with him. I'll walk ahead with him. Okay.

So you have one undead harpy and a yasha, both hobbling through the last elements of the swamp. Roll. A disadvantage, right? Or is it a straight roll? Well, it's disadvantage if you have a point of exhaustion. I do. So it's just a single roll. Disappear.

And it's a real high DC. A rock skips him up in one bite. Natural 20. Did you give me Guidance? No, I didn't. No. Oh, well, that would have helped. 16. 16.

Mm. The mists around you don't seem to bear any sort of emotional connection to an undead harpy or a wandering Aesimar barbarian. The shadows in these mists are different from the ones you've passed through naturally. As your proximity grows closer to Mount Mentiri and perhaps some of the things that call its base

and mountainsides home, something sinister curls from the surrounding fog. It enwraps you to the point where you find yourself coughing it out of breath for a moment, as do you, as do all of you. I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw, please. Everyone? Constitution saving throw at a...

13. 13. Is that dice? Does it manage? You manage to resist it. Nine. Nine. I rolled a shitty, so you take three points of necrotic damage, and your max HP is reduced by three. Ooh.

24. 24, you're fine. 11. 11. 11, you take three points of narcotic damage and your max HP is reduced by three. 20. 20, you are fine, Caduceus. 10. 10, take three points of narcotic damage and your max HP is reduced by three.

11. 11, you as well. Is that a poison that we're inhaling? There is something within the mist that has a dark ghostly energy. Then once it seems to have feasted on your life essence, it vanishes off into the fog, satiated and hard to trace. I'll drop the Undead Arb. Okay.

You're growing close still, and you can see heavy brambles ahead. In fact, there is a series of tangled, heavy bramble vines that will very soon probably begin to prevent you from traversing, unless anyone's particularly clever. You can see these heavy, almost root-like twists and knots that are covered in these varying-sized natural points

and pikes that emerge from the wood themselves, like rose thorns the size of short swords and daggers. Yasha, cut through them with your strength! I can try. What are you going to do? I'll wait till we have 10 minutes to stop and then, because it takes 10 minutes. It could take 10 minutes.

Just to give everybody a little buff. Prayer feeling? Prayer feeling. So what do we get for that? I think we should take 10 minutes. Yeah, take 10 minutes. Okay. Take 10 minutes. As you've emerged from the swamp waters and make your way towards the cusp of this bramble wall

around the forest, you stop for ten minutes and go ahead and cast Pair of Healing, and that heals everyone for you. That heals, actually, not quite everybody. Six targets? Six targets, so. One, two, three, four, five, every one with a bow, so four. Is bow not needed at all? I'm down by my max healing, so I'm going to get a heal pass

anyway, I'm good. So everyone gets, this is right here. Oh. I did it at second level, so yeah. Or I did it at third level, so that's 3d8. 17 points. Wow. Oh, yeah. I did it at third level, so that's 38. That's a lot. 17 points. Wow. All righty.

Does everyone else heal 17 hit points? You finish the rest of your walk up towards the edge of this heavy bramble wall. Hmm. Well, I could sort of... Use, like, Light and Ten. I could get through it with my sort of stealthy skills, or you could flip your way through the briar patch.

Just fireball that one. Yasha could cut her way through it. Is there a Canopy of Trees still here, or are we more in... There is. Rage through it. Sacred Flame on the brambles and see. Sure. I'm going to try it? On the brambles and see. Sure.

I'm going to try Sacred Flame on the brambles and see if I can set some of it on fire to try to clear it out. Okay. You cast Sacred Flame and the radiant energy surrounds and focuses one area. You can see elements of the bramble blacken. They are very moist and the fire doesn't catch.

Sacred Flame is not a superheated flame as much as it is a radiant blast, so it doesn't seem to have a strong effect on the brambles. As long as we've gone that far, Caleb will follow up and hit the same spot with literal fire. Just a firebolt. Just a firebolt? Yeah. It hits, and you see the brambles darken,

there's a little bit of a glow. It's burnable, but it would take a vast amount of fire. It could be more brittle, though. I'll try to cut through it. In that same spot? You're going to rage through it? Yeah. So you're going to attempt to carve through the brambles?

Yeah. Just the brittly? Yeah. Okay. So go ahead and make a strength ability check. I'll give you a d4 if you're going into that. Goddamn it. Natural 20. Never mind, yeah. Do you have a point of exhaustion, or did you resist that?

I resisted it. Correct. And you have an advantage on your strength check? Are you raging in advance a bit, or? Oh no, it was just cocked when she rolled the first time. Oh, got you. Yeah. So natural 20. Natural 20. Okay. Whew!

So that little part of the bramble twist there that you guys had slightly damaged a bit, Yasha, building which blade of your choice? Skingorger. Skingorger. This really terrifying-looking, dual-handed, front-edged blade of rust and jagged edge just carves through the bramble, collapses inward.

And a second strike, and a third strike. And one after another, you begin to carve your way through this bramble forest. It's slow going, and it continues on for another 60 or so feet. Whoa. But with the size of the blade and the sheer immensity of your strength

with a natural 20, you begin to carve a path through that is safe enough for you to travel single file without taking any damage. Nice! Javu turns to his Javu and says, After you. The shadow walks in and he walks. All right.

You guys follow Yasha's lead until eventually you get to that final element to the bramble and you cut through and as you slice that last bit and it falls away, you can see now that large bramble wall begins to fall away. You can see the brush and the hill rise up. You can see more of the trees ahead, some of them still petrified,

though the gray coloration of their branches growing more and more present as you get closer to Mount Mintyri. You can smell that sulfurous scent, but something else hits your nose as well. A heavy, almost asphalt smell. As you begin to look ahead, you can see small patches in the ground where a black tar-like substance

seems to be pushing through the floor. Little black puddles, thick, and regions. Continuing forward, you can see the stone and the earth of the area beginning to turn more deep red of the mountain. Some areas are almost yellow, like a dust has gathered on them. And there are a couple of small little steam vents

that are releasing this lazy trail of heated moisture that dissipates and joins the rest of the mist around you. The fog itself is not as strong and as intense as it was deep in the swamp, but there is a low-lying fog that coasts about a foot and a half off the ground universally over this space. As you push forward, the trees thin a bit, and you can see there are a few little elements

of the ground where the elevation shifts a bit, and ahead, there is one mild hill where through the fog and mist, you can see a frame. You can see almost a porch of a home, no more than maybe 15, 20 foot end to end. A heavy thatched top to it that is green, brightly green with moss and mold and other sorts of natural growth that has taken root in it.

It's like a cabin put together from numerous thin, tall trees. You see hanging from the outside of it, from elements of chain and rope look to be hooks, whether they be for lanterns or tools or implements. Who knows? There is a wooden rack off to the side of the porch that contains a handful of leathers

that are stretched out. What kind of leathers? I can't really tell from this distance. There is a door that is partially ajar and there is a warm light from the inside. And that's where we're going to go. Oh! You bastard.

Mm-hmm. We're going to turn here in a few minutes to see what this house is. What is this house? Could this be somebody's house? Probably. In the interim, we do have our Wyrmwood giveaway at the break.

We have the Black Poisonwood Dice Vault here. Ooh. It opens up, it's nice, smells nice. What we do is we smell Wyrmwood. It has mild hallucinating properties. That's not true, do not quote me on that. But one lucky winner will have this. When we come back from the break, tonight's chat,

keyword is superstition. Superstition. Superstition. Riding on the wall. Put the word once into chat. Any more than once, you'll be disqualified. And once again, people in the U.S. and Canada only, including Quebec, because of stupid laws. We'll be back here in a few minutes with the winner and the next leg of our journey.

See you guys in a minute. Why, hello there. This is Critical Role's resident art dad, also known as Liam O'Brien. We are continuously amazed at the artwork this community creates. That's why each Thursday at 8 a.m. Pacific, we share a curated gallery of submitted fan art over on critroll.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, visit critroll.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, visit critroll.com slash submit. And thank you to all of the incredible artists

who share their talents with us week after week. Hello everyone, welcome back. Before we jump into the next half of our session, we do have one winner of our one-minute giveaway. The winner is SRVfan32688. Woo, I love you, SRV! winner is SRVfan32688. Woo, I love me some SRV! Congratulations, SRVfan32688.

We'll get that sent to you ASAP. Move along. All righty. So. As you guys have trekked your way up towards the base of the mountain, looking through the mountain, looking through the mist, you can see the rickety

cabin-like abode that rests before you amongst the rocky and forest-covered hill. What would you like to do? Should we rest now? This is dumb, it's time to rest right here, right? In view of our shack? Like an actual rest? Like sleep? Like go to sleep

in front of her house? There's no way. There's no way! She's going to come up in the middle of the night and kill us off. How many feet, roughly, are we from this home? You're about 60 or so feet. Let's start putting out the wire. We'll say about 100 and so feet

before the mist reveals the shape and you begin to see what's ahead of you. So we split into two parties and we wrap around the house and meet on the backside. Do a scout. Why? To see what's around the house. Yeah, get the perimeters, man.

Why don't we just send Frumpkin over there and see? Sure. He can't see anything. That, too. Let's try that first. Well, I just don't want to separate, just because this lady's really powerful, and I have a feeling she'd... I think you have the right idea. I mean, we're not sending him to solve a mystery.

We just want to see the other side of the home, yeah? And Frumpkin goes up and just starts to circle above the home, yeah? Now... Frumpkin goes up and just starts to circle above the home. Okay, perception check from Frumpkin. Come on, you dumb fucking cat bird. That's cocked, right? That is hella cocked. Super cocked. Super cocked, that's good for Frumpkin. Oh, good job, Frumpkin.

That's a 15. Aw, boy. 15. Passed out, right? I think Frumpkin does pass. Frumpkin does a pass of the area. You can see a number of the treetops around. There are trees in this area that aren't as closely knitted as a lot of the previous forest you've traversed on your way here.

You do see the little hut. You can see the remnants of a stone chimney. Frumpkin looks around and doesn't see anything moving on the outside. From the back, there's a small barrel on one side and what looks like a cluster of small boxes on the other. Beyond that, pardon me, no signs of movement.

It looked like there was a back door. Yeah. No back door. No back door. Just the front entrance. What the fuck are you doing? We're listening to Matt. Good. About to die by ag. You're like the third row in the minivan.

Hell of a far back. Caleb can't hear anything, but he's muttering to Beauregard the things that he sees. Those boxes, I don't know what's in them. I don't see a door. Yeah. This cat is good for something. This cat is fucking shitbag.

That cat is a bird. That cat sucks. Can he hear us? Can he hear us? The cat's right there. He's only there. He can feel if you tug. Yeah.

I've been, I've been. I'm not as stoic as Caleb. You're way psyched. Yeah, okay. Your cat's great. This is the best cat. Yeah. I wish Your cat's great. This is the best cat. Yeah. I wish he would come back.

Where do you find anything? Yeah, there's a back area and a bunch of shit piled up outside the door. There is no door, I'm sorry, piled up in the back. There wasn't any, was it walled in in any way when I looked back there, or does it just keep stretching on into wilderness behind it? It just continues on into wilderness.

Okay. So one entrance that we know of. Just the front door. What about windows? Were there windows? Were there windows? No windows, just the front entrance. No.

That's a creepy house. Who would design a house without any windows or natural light? Probably a witch. Mm-hmm. Maybe just go knock? Yeah. I'm kind of into that.

Yeah. Should we leave some people as a reserve outside or something? No. If we all go in, we all go in. What? Yeah, Jester already said don't split the party. Yeah.

I think any attempt at deceit would end poorly. This lady saw me scrying on her. She's, like, super observant, you know? She's been watching our every move coming here, right? I'm assuming so. Right now. Hi. Are you just calling out 60 feet away?

Yeah. Yeah. It's 60 feet, how little bit? 100 feet. Hi. Laudra. What the fuck? She's probably here. She knows, right?

Let's just watch. You know, do I hear anything? Do I feel anything? Do I feel special? Do I feel special? While you're a D&D character. 18. You feel very special. I feel very special? But you don a D&D character. 18. So, yeah. You feel very special.

I feel very special? But you don't hear anything. Ugh, you're right. Yasha, shall we? Let's go. All right, Yasha and I start walking up to the door. I follow. I follow. Jester!

Ah, come on. Okay. Caleb. Caleb's double branches away from the group and goes to the corner of the house to the side, and then just stays at the front, peeking around the front as the group goes up. Am I right? What?

We're all going. I'm going to go invisible. I'm going invisible. But she, it's fine. She'll still be able to see you, but if you feel more comfortable, whatever. She can't do everything. She can see things like that.

You don't know anything about her. I know. And Frumpkin is still just cycling. I'm doing this, but I'm invisible. We know. Shit! So who's doing what, then? You've...

Smoothie Mickey over here. There were firsties. Yasha and Nair are at the door. Yep, so you guys approach. It is a bit of a climb. There's a bit of a rocky incline that you head up to the front of this small abode. In the base of it, you see heavy roots emerging from it,

almost like the house itself is rooted into the ground. Literally going to discuss you. I don't know how visibility is. Your name is going to instantly come up. So the two of you make your way up to the pouch, the pouch, the porch, and looking upon the porch in front of you, you can see the fronts lift about waist high

with these dividers. There's the opening on the inside, onto the porch, then there is the partially-ajar door and the warmly-lit interior of the hut. This is so stupid. Knock or just open the door? We should knock. Can you see in through the doorway?

Yeah. It's open. Well, I feel like we shouldn't. Oh, there's no door? The door is there, but it's partially open. Yeah, we will go open. Okay. You knock on the parsley drawer and it opens ever so slightly more.

You can see a little bit on the inside. The house appears to be empty. Or at the very least, there's nobody inside of it. Within, you can see the insides both warm and muggy. The smell intensely reminiscent of strong mildew and herbs, almost. It's not too terribly large.

Now that you've gotten close to it, you can see it's about 18 or so feet, end to end, maybe 20 or so feet, and about 15 feet wide or deep. From what you can see, there's a table in the middle of the room that has a lantern, a single lantern on it that's glowing, and it's where the light source is emanating from. There are a smattering of all sorts of strange collectibles

and piles in the corners shoved into the side, chaotically organized, intently placed, but in a somewhat messy way. Glancing along the ceiling on the inside between where the wooden boards hold up the thatch, you can see hanging from chains and rope and twine cages of different sizes, all dangling. Some, the largest, they're about that big.

Some are smaller, and they're carried at different heights. She's going to shrink us down and put us in cages like a man. She's a trapper, I'll cast See Invisibility. Cast See Invisibility? Yes. You cast See Invisibility, and you look inside the home.

You don't see anything. She doesn't appear to be home. We certainly don't want to be in her house when she comes home. Does someone want to come in and investigate quickly while the rest of us wait out front? Oh fuck. Okay.

Go. Okay. Nott, I'll do a quick scan. Nott, you take left, I'll take right. We will all step out except for Nott and Beau. We'll stand in front of the door. On the ground, yeah. I do a quick quick. Off the porch.

Yeah. Okay, so you guys are all stepping off the porch and staying away while they're going inside? Okay. So Beau and Nott. Should we check for traps or anything first? That makes me nervous. I'm going to stand between in the threshold.

Okay, so you stand in the threshold of the room. I'm going to stick my head in really quick and cast Detect Magic. Wow. Okay, well, let's handle this one at a time here. So you guys enter the room I'm going to stick my head in really quick and cast Detect Magic. Wow. Okay. Well, let's handle this one at a time here. So you guys enter the room and start investigating. You cast Detect Magic.

You sense a number of faint magical auras. Sure. Up in the roof region. Think a handful of things and what you can see on a shelf as you go through the door and look on the opposite side of the door as you guys investigate as well. There are two shelves that are just lined with all manner of jars, all different sizes.

Some of them have bits of rope tied to the top with some sort of rubber-like substance capping the top. Some are sealed shut, some is leather wrapped around it, and they are different colors and colorations. Some are sealed shut, some is leather wrapped around it, and they are different colors and colorations. Some are just different colored glass, some are stained from the inside of whatever they're containing,

but there are dozens and dozens of this strange collection of all sorts of things. So that's what you detect in the vicinity. Gotcha. Bits and pieces of it. All right, back out. The rest of you guys are outside? Mm-hmm. Okay. What are you guys investigating?

You said those jars are on the left or the right, or both? They're both on the left-hand side, against the wall in the back. It's my side. Shit. I'm going to go for those jars and investigate them. Roll an investigation check. I will use my Reliable Talent.

Oh wait, this is a disadvantage roll. Yes, I will still use my Reliable Talent to get a 20, 21. Yeah, okay. There's nothing hidden on this side of the room. It's just a bit cluttered, but you have all of these jars and small glass objects that contain all manner of things,

as well as the cages as you look around. Within the jars, there are all sorts of herbs and materials. You, as an alchemist, would recognize a few of them. Without even having to roll, there's mugwort, there's wormwood, there's blackroot, there's a little bit of powdered silver in a small pouch. You can see there's hindergale and gallorine mushroom and a collection of snake venom in one.

There's a gnarled hand in one jar that's gray and withered, and it's kept in a liquid that just shakes. You can see up in the cages above, there are creatures that you hear shift in one of the cages, and you glance up and you can see what looks to be a bat of some kind that's hanging in one cage upside down.

You can see another one there, there's a blue tail of a lizard that's poking out. So there are creatures up in those cages, but you don't have quite the full vantage point, you just noticed a few of them in there. Okay. Beauregard? I'll just whisper over to Beauregard, some animals and some magic components, that's it.

What you got? I throw it over to Beauregard. Some animals and some magic components, that's it. What you got? I'm looking with disadvantage, right? Mm-hmm. 24. 24, okay, you guys are good. Glancing on the opposite end, looking at the table, you can see the table has been recently cleared, other than the lantern that's set there in the middle that's lighting the room. There are stains across the front of the table, you can see the table has been recently cleared, other than the lantern that's set there in the middle that's lighting the room.

There are stains across the front of the table itself, where various brackish liquids have been spilled and left to sit and as such stain the wood on top. There are grooves and scratches across it of all different sizes and lengths. I feel so compelled to be honest. It was 23, sorry, keep going. Okay, no worries.

I was thinking, keep going. It's not going to make a huge difference, it's fine. But you do notice that it looks like things were moved from here recently. You can see areas where dust had gathered and things were placed in areas of that corner of the room where there are circles and different shapes on the ground and on another shelf that the dust is not there. So some things have been moved.

You also see all manner of small wooden platforms that emerge from parts of the wood that have melted wax just dripping down the sides. Like candles, over time, have been replaced, replaced, replaced, and looking around the side, there's dozens and dozens of these long, slowly building on themselves, frozen waterfalls of wax that drip down the side, there's dozens and dozens of these long, slowly building on themselves, frozen waterfalls of wax that drip down the walls.

Probably about 14 or so of these throughout the room at different heights and locations. You were too focused on the jars to notice them originally, but you both see it's surrounding the entire interior chamber. Is there anything on the ground in there? No. Don't have any sword? Normal stuff. I mean, yeah. anything on the ground in there? No. Don't we have any sword?

Normal stuff. I mean, yeah. Take a look. Anything on the ground? Can we assist each other as we both crawl to the middle? Yeah, you looked underneath the table. It's pretty clear beneath the table. Like I said, it looks like some things have been removed from the base.

She's grabbed stuff here recently. While they're doing that, can we check the tree lines outside? Sure. Yeah, keep an eye out. we check the tree lines outside? Sure. Yep. So it's getting dark now. Dusk is hitting. There's a bit of a sunset now.

While you still have a cloudy sky, you can see the coloration shifting a little more to a purple, and it is getting visibly darker. So you probably have another 20 or so minutes before you start really losing light. As you guys walk out past the porch and head down the pathway and look over the tree line, Fjord, as you glance back towards the house,

you see on the roof, crouched and looming over the front of it, arms trailing, cloak and hood up, perched a massive female humanoid form that is just knees up beneath the robe, weird, unnaturally long arms curled over the edge, just sitting and smiling and watching. Right. I sure am.

The creature's arms unfurl a bit and grab. Make a perception check. Huh. 11. 11. As the arms move back and grasp the front edges of the roof, there's something very unnatural in the way the arms move, almost like each arm has two elbows,

where it seems to almost bend and then unbend as it grabs. Do I see her yet? Nope, none of you see her. Well, I was with Fjord. Right. Whoa. You see Fjord say this. To something in the air.

She's invisible. As soon as you said that name, the head looks right to you. You can see from the tattered lengths of black, oily hair that spill from underneath the hood and the long, pointed jaw where the jowls hang a bit to the back, but the high cheekbones themselves pull in

an almost mockery of elvish features, the deep-set green eyes almost glowing from within the shaded hood piercing right towards you. We come seeking a conversation. Would you say that she looks like the ring girl, only old? Old, swollen, and six foot five hunched. Sweet. Interesting.

You all hear this now. While she speaks, it's almost vibrating around you sourcelessly, even within the house. It feels like it's coming from the walls, but you all turn and you can sense the source a bit coming from the house, but you cannot see anything. Which of you visited me from afar these past days. I would like to see the face that held the prying eye.

Are you guys actually going to look at me right now? You're looking at me! Nope. Look at that man! Gulp. What you guys see is suddenly there is a cracking shift of wood and thatch, and you see dust and moss fall from the roof as you watch her leap into the air, and you feel on the ground next to you as dust dissipates out.

You send some presence immediately to your left. You watch her leap 15 feet in the air, and with an impact, slam into the ground next to Jester and then come back to her full hunched height, looming over her. What's her posture like? From the robes that you can tell, and there are a number of, from what you can see close up,

the gray-brown coloring of the stained cloak that goes over the darker beneath robes, there's ratty gold twine that's wrapped around parts of the arms and the wrists, holding it and clutching it in places to the body and crossing around the chest, almost like it's holding the billowing robe close to the form for movement. The body itself is curved backward in an S formation,

where the front of the torso pulls back like a serpent, and then the shoulders slouch forward and the head itself emerges from the shoulders in the center in a very heavy hunch. And even in that form, stands about six and a half feet tall. You imagine if she were able to stand straight, would be pushing probably seven and a half feet.

I'll say her name again and look very directly in her direction and say, Sharni, we've done much to seek an audience with you. We hope we might be able to converse peacefully. You can hear the loud sniffing sound and the warmth of breath on your cheek, Jester. Then takes a step back, another step back

towards the house a bit, getting between you and the house, but still back towards the trees. There's nobody behind her. As the invisibility fades and the rest of you begin to now see the physical form of Ishani there in the fading light of the late afternoon. It is rare to have so many visitors, let alone all at once at my own.

You come here, survive the trial of the trick, and I assume it's because you're driven by the need for strong answers. Yes. What is it that drives you then? Come. Come, we can talk. One at a time.

One at a time? That's some sleepover shit. Yeah. Those of you who are inside the house, as you're glancing through and seeing this, the head darts in an unnatural speed in your direction and the arm emerges and goes. I just grab Nott by the hand.

Is Nott still invisible? I am. Do you leave the house? Yeah, I guess so. Do I see any shit running down Nott's legs? Does it? Just a little shit. A little shit. I'd like to. Oh, he's like, it's a villain.

Yeah. A little bit, a little trickle. The rest of us just see rabbit pellets appear. Yasha, do you walk with them? Mm-mm. Because you're at the threshold. Yep. Okay. You watch as she makes these long, lumbering strides

towards the house, the arms swaying unnaturally from side to side. As she reaches the base of the rock, there's a pause, and then she skitters up the side like a spider before getting to the top. I don't like it, I don't like it. That's bad, you're bad. Steps inside the house, leaving the door open.

You see her spin from the inside and rest, sitting on what looks almost like on a stool, but you see her pull a large box, one of the crates that was empty on the side as a chair, scoots it up and sits on the opposite side of the table and arranges it in front of her, takes the lantern, sets it on a hook. Who is this drunk dog?

Gross. Well, two of you are here for a reason. All of us can get our palms read. Would you prefer if someone else went first? Yes. Yes, I don't know what to expect, yes. Someone with lower stakes. Sure, I'll go.

Well, I mean, if somebody has to go, I'll talk. So you enter the house? Okay. Speed by yourself. You step into the room, and it's tight quarters with the two of you in there. You're about five feet from her, comfortably. And as you step into the chamber,

the door closes behind you on its own. You guys lose all sight of Fjord. The chamber is just closed and the interior light is not visible. We can't even look through the windows. There are no windows. Can you hear anything?

No, there is a door. Okay. The lantern marked ahead lights the room, but the shadows still cast across the upper half of the face, and you can see the piercing and a faint glow of green eyes from underneath looking right at you. The arms themselves spread out akimbo

and grasping the sides of her knees as she stares towards you. So. Oh, you're waiting for me to speak. I assume you came with a reason. I did. Forgive me, the words fall a bit short when you're in the room of something as revered and mysterious as yourself.

We've actually done quite a bit of research. Flattery. I like it. Happy to please. I suppose my question would start with, it seems one of our party was affected by something that you might have done with her. It is of great interest to us if we might be able

to discuss a way to lift your effect. I take it you mean the goblin among you. There is not much that escapes your view. Well, that was quite the favor I had repaid that day. Favor? Repaid? I am a woman of my word.

It takes a lot to ask me to break of my promises. Not to ask me to break of my promises. I have a reputation to maintain. You've done a beautiful job. Might I ask, you said a favor was repaid. I can't imagine someone of your ilk is in need of services very often. Not often, no.

Circumstances can sometimes be strange. I understand. We happen to be a group of individuals that often find ourselves in strange circumstances. Perhaps we could be of use to you. Make a persuasion check. Oh my god, yes. She can, I bet she can.

With disadvantage, right? Mm-hmm. Oh! That was a 22, and that's a 10. That was so good. A 10? Yeah. Do I need a 40?

No favors. I thrive on my connections. One could trade, perhaps. Trade? You seem to know all. Is there anything that you have a particular interest in? I've seen many lifetimes. And I...

You hear this heavy crack as the net snaps in an unnatural way. No. Incorrect. I enjoy being tethered to misery. I enjoy being tethered to misery. It feeds me. And your friend has been a delicious drip.

I'm sure you can understand I don't want to speak for any of the other members of our group, but there may be more misery amongst us. Existing misery is paltry. New misery. Ah.

That is lasting. I care very much for these people. If I am not one to offer you what you would seek, I'm sure there is someone in our group that may be able to satisfy it, but is there anything, as you see through me, that interests you? For this transaction, perhaps not,

but if you seek other enlightenment, shifting one's fortunes, a change in the backhand of fate, if you will, I could turn that around a bit. You paint an alluring picture. But no, I thank you for your time, and I turn and I leave. The door's already open for you.

Wow. That was very good. No response beyond that. I walk up. What happened? Are you okay? I'm afraid. Oh no, no, no, no! Fuck, the humidity change is so dramatic.

She's a dealmaker. She's attracted by misery, not existing, but perhaps new. It seems we'll have to give something in order to have your curse lifted. I walk in. Oh! Come on. Caleb, as soon as you're done, fireball the whole way up. You step in and the door closes behind you.

Okay, why wait? New misery. What's this about new misery? What now? Yeah, okay. You have a familiar scent on you. I can sense we are already tethered in some way. Tell me. A familiar taste.

Familiar, so... not new? familiar, so. Not new. Not new. But I can take new. What more could you take from me that you haven't already? You have an imagination, don't you? Quite a lot. You have an imagination, don't you?

Quite a lot. What would you give me? Why don't you start by telling me what you've taken? From you? From me and mine. I have given. I have granted what was asked of me. Yeah.

And yet you smell of misery. You ask a question you already know the answer to. Nothing's given freely. Ever. So... So. If I already smell of misery, not new misery, what more could you want? She shifts her demeanor towards you, thinking. It's not about specifically taking.

What I want is to be given something that you know you would not want to lose. And then what do I get? I release you, friend. But the scales have to weigh evilly. I don't know to lose. I'll... I'll walk away from all of it. Everything that I've worked really hard to get.

This family. Family? It's in the air. It's not your fault. It's all of us. This family. My old family. My new brother.

My position. MATT and LAURA say a few words. She only is interested in listening intently. I've achieved more than I thought I ever would. Richer than I ever thought I would. More skilled than I ever thought I would. I don't know what's left past this anyway. Maybe I've peeked, you know? Chosen exile.

You see her eyes seeming to almost look beyond the walls of this chamber towards the individuals that await you outside. From this, that is no misery. Where would I be exiled to? My choice, yeah. But where would I be? The inspiration will find you.

Do you accept this transaction? What of my family? My blood family? What of my father and his current deal? His deal continues until it comes to its fruition. This is a new deal for a new misery. Think about it if you're uncertain. But you've come this far, have you not?

Be ashamed to walk away empty-handed. I leave. Beauregard exits. What did you say? What'd you do? What happened? What just happened? Go talk to her. Me? Yeah. Beau, what did you do? She knows your hand, dog.

I'm invisible. What did you do? I didn't do anything. She knows. Not yet. All right, I'll go in. Okay. You muster the courage. I'll take a little more sip. Okay.

It's been quite a while since you drank, so you're not drunk anymore. You're on the cusp of a mild headache. I'm told. But you enter the chamber and it closes behind you. The woman is currently looming over the table, looking towards you and is just filling most of your vision at that point before she sits into a resting position.

Leans in on the table, looking down at you, arms crossing, and you see once again the dual joints bending before folding. It's been some time, halfling girl. So you remember me? I remember everything. Have you done this to other people? Not quite this way,

but you're not the first punishment I've been asked to enforce. Might I ask why? You said a debt, but what debt? Let's just say those goblins once did me quite the favor with something I couldn't achieve myself. And they did this favor for you in exchange for a repayment? For a favor to them.

Then one day they came and called that debt in. I felt it was maybe a bit small-minded, but I respect those in the throes of anger and vengeful fury. That's a powerful thing. Just hypothetically, if they didn't exist anymore, would that debt need be honored? Oh.

My word is my bind. Whether or not they're around, I cannot just discard my promises, reputation, and all that. And to undo it, you would need some sort of payment from me. Or a equal misery in turn. What if... Does the misery have to affect me or my friends?

Can it be anyone? It can be a misery offered, but it has to be given freely. It's hard to take something like that. The willingness is what makes it so ripe. The willingness. Willingness is what makes it so ripe. The willingness.

So another life, another body, something like that? What about... I've got two options here. How about the life of a weasel? Not big enough, right? You're amusing, little one. I've been drinking a lot today. I'm not promising anything, but what if two warring nations were about to form a lasting peace and that peace just sort of went away?

Sick. Fucking sick. That would cause misery for thousands, tens of thousands of people. Ah, but I am not tethered to that misery. Misery for thousands, tens of thousands of people. Ah, but I am not tethered to that misery. Unless you tether it for me. The eyes are growing brighter. How does that work?

Without looking, the hand reaches over and extends all the way to the shelf from her sitting position on the opposite end of the room. Between the fingers, you can see, crasping what looks like four different jars and vials and pulling them over. I have ways, tinctures,

that can bear the connection. That I would have to take, swallow, apply? Apply. Have them swallow themselves of me. Swallow. I won't be able to do it today, obviously. But if you do this, then I will remove happily this hex

I hold on your sword. And I'll go back to being the way I was? With the right magic, yes. I could help with that, though the process is a bit painful, if familiar. Yes. What does that do? It just connects you to that person's soul?

It's difficult to explain. But sure. Close enough. Do I have to leave a deposit or something? Or can I just take one? Or do you agree to my transaction? I don't know if it's possible, even. Oh boy.

I better go talk to my friends. The glasses clink together as she places them, not back on the shelf, but to the floor, the side, in a holding position. The other hand gives a gesture as the door opens behind you. Just back out of the room. Just one more question before I go.

Yeah? Did you enjoy doing this to me? Didn't enjoy doing it to you. I've enjoyed everything since. All right, I'll leave. Not much happened in there. I want to kill her, but I feel like that's going to be super hard. I actually agree with you,

only because I can't imagine any of us would be able to give anything that wouldn't shift our lives or the lives of those around us without getting what we want. What did she tell you? She told me that she could help. Help? Why? What did you offer?

Things that don't really affect us, though. Like what? Just other people. Other people? You offered to torture other people? I didn't offer to torture anyone. I just, I would make sure that none of us were harmed or sacrificed in any way. That's a dark note.

I don't know what you're talking about. Well, I mean, there's a lot of evil people out there. These people who have been waging war against each other, and they're not innocent. They've been doing this to each other now for years, and they could have stopped at any time. And you singled out specific people? No, I mean...

Are we talking about the Assembly, or? What did you offer? I didn't make any deals, I mean. Are we talking about the Assembly, or? What did you offer? I didn't, I mean, I didn't make any deals. I just said that. I already had a conversation with her. Okay. What did you offer? I just know whatever she wants, it's got to be substantial.

So what did you offer? Just to maybe tether her to one of the souls of, you know, Emperor Dwendal, maybe? How? Pick a pill? I mean, he's easy. That doesn't sound very doable.

Well, I mean, we can do a lot of things. Like kill this lady? I think it's easier to get Dwendal to swallow a pill than it is to kill this lady. Dwendal is surrounded by hundreds of loyal subjects. Yes, but we'll be right next to him. Right next to her.

Plus, it's most certainly not as cut and dry as that. There's always ripples. Exactly. Wait, so she wants a sacrifice? I don't understand. She said she wanted the scales to be even, so for the gesture, for lifting the curse from Nott, whatever the exchange is has to be equally monumental,

devastating, with misery attached to it. What was... What was it worth to turn you into this? What did they pay? For her? Yeah. It's a favor, it's a debt to these goblins, to my old clan.

I offered to make our services available and she declined. I offered to kill the goblins and she said that wouldn't be enough. What did you offer Beau? She wants new misery, right? Mm-hmm. What if I just go in and offer to cut off my hand or something, do you think that's enough?

No. But I really like my hand. Both. Both my hands? And probably several other people's. You have to no longer be able to paint. What did you offer, Beau? I offered war. I think TJ, my little brother, and Luke could be best friends.

Did you offer to kill them? No. What do you mean? I'm good at being a loner. I'm used to it. I'm comfortable there. What does that mean? You would... You would be isolated or something?

The things we've done together? I'm never going to top that. And you're right. We have to fix you because you have a son. You have a little boy to raise. And all of us are eventually going to find our own way. It's not going to last. And all of us... We're eventually gonna find our own way. It's not gonna last...

Forever. And, you know, maybe... Or maybe this is what it was all... Leading to, you know? Molly's lessons that he taught me, and this weird connection between me and you and this fucking hag, and, well. What are you talking about? Are you saying you're going to kill yourself?

Are you saying what are you saying? No, no. She's saying she'll leave all this. You're going to leave us? You all are the greatest family I could ever ask for. Again, I can't top this, you know? Then don't offer that. Don't offer that at all.

But, but, think about it. No, she's right, I mean. I walk in. It's, oh. Okay, the door closes behind you. Damn it. They were saying you want misery, and I have it in spades. What are you looking for? You walk with heavy scars already. I don't know if you could offer me a fair trade.

It's hard to feed from those who already wallow at the bottom. But I can turn that around for you if you'd like. How? Well, what is it you dream of? What is it that eludes your grasp? What is something that you wish for on a night's cloudy sky. I don't know if you could give me what I want. Perhaps I can. I can do many things, but I have even high limitations.

Can you bring people back from the dead? It is difficult, but not impossible. So if you did it, if you could bring this person back. No, I... We're here for one thing. I don't need anything from you. But I could give you something that would cause me a lot of misery to give you. Yeah. I take out

my book from Molly. I have been collecting things for someone to bring to them. These were for my wife. I pull out a flower from Molly. I don't want to give these things away, but I can. Roll a persuasion check with disadvantage. Okay. Roll a persuasion check with disadvantage. Persuasion's already pretty low.

That's a cock. Okay. I rolled't want. That's a nice bug. Yeah. A good thought, but not equal. Not all journeys come to a resolution. I know one resolution,

but I don't think it would end very well for you. You watch as the shoulders pull back a bit and you swear, you swear for an instant, her body seems to almost swell and grow as the shadows grow across the walls behind her. She sits a little higher in the seat. Do tell. Oh, I just meant I would kill you.

And then maybe all of this would be resolved. You guys can hear the laughter emitting from the inside of the house. Oh, I don't like that. It's not good, it's not good. I feel like, I don't know, maybe you should hear what everyone else has to offer

before we get to that place. Smart of you, child of the Wastes. The door opens up. She's all yours, who wants to go in there? I go in. One by one, okay. Oh, Jester. Let's just fuck.

Hi. You're the one that found me? I did, I did, I'm really sorry about it. You know, we just really needed to see who you were going to come to see, and I didn't know that it would bother you. You know, I didn't even think about the fact that it's like, you know.

In the future, if you ever want to scry on us, I wouldn't blame you, you know, because I did it to you before. I wish that from anti-misery. Take some, take some. Right. Two seconds. Mm-hmm. What is it you see?

Oh, I'm just looking for a way to break that curse that, you know, you gave to my friend. I don't want her to be a goblin anymore, because she doesn't want to be a goblin, so. Right? Yeah. Well, have you an offering for Trey? Oh, something that would make me so miserable, right?

That's what you want? Yes. Let's see. that would make me so miserable, right? That's what you want? Yeah. Let's see. I'm a pretty happy person. I can see that. And I said I could offer, like offer to give you a hand, like literally, if I cut my hand off or something. Or something.

Um. Those are artistic hands. Yeah, I paint, I draw. I also play piano. Do you want me to play something for you? I'm fine, thank you. You know, I bet you don't get a lot of entertainment out here, right?

What if in exchange, we play you a concert, I could paint your portrait? You don't have any mirrors, you know? I could show you what you look like. Back to what you said before. Are you offering your artistic expression? You like my ability to draw?

It is something I see brings you much joy. It does, it does, it really does. You see saliva gathering at the edges of her mouth. One single string on the table. If you give me your hands. Like literally my hands? how will I eat? You know? Like, what if it's just, you know, my ability

to draw? You have friends who can feed you. You're right. Oh, man. That's gonna suck real bad to not have any hands at all. Does it negate it if I go and I grow them back or something?

I think you know how... intense and lasting these bargains can be. Oh, right, I wouldn't be able to grow them back. Both of my hands. That just seems so stupid. Oh. She flicks a finger and you see one of the empty cages and the wall, about the right size for two hands.

No! Kill her. That's going to make things so difficult! No hands! You're the one who offered it. Individuals make do all the time. You're the one who offered it. Individuals make do all the time. Wait, wait, what about when the gas smells, like with my fingers, is it like Doctor Strange,

where like, I can still do it? That would be a conversation between you and whatever entity. His name is the Traveler. He's a really powerful god. I bet he's here right now looking over me. Right. Have we a deal?

As he leans forward, seeming to consume the interior of the chamber, looming over and down upon you, the one lengthy hand reaching out like this. Well, hold on. Maybe before we make the deal, I can eat one last cupcake, you know, since I won't be able to do it.

Okay. I'm going to pull out my last blueberry cupcake. I am. How long has this been now? I'm going to. It's been this long. Oh man.

But it took forever. I'm going to walk up and just. You're not in there. I'm walking up to the front door. I'm in the middle of talking! It's not a different thing! Will you split this cupcake with me? Have you ever had a blueberry cupcake?

I don't believe I have. See, I'm using my fingers to break it in half. Oh my god. Make a persuasion check. 24. She reaches out and grabs the other half of the cupcake. It's so small, and her long, curly fingers. Kind of. That was sprinkled with the dust of deliciousness.

Okay. Remind me what that is, Nott. That is a dust that makes food taste much better. And it also gives you a disadvantage on wisdom checks and wisdom saving throws. Okay. And I'm going to cast Modify Memory. Oh my god. Modify memory.

Oh my god! Hold on. Hold on. My stomach hurts. Oh god. Okay. Oh no. Okay. And I'm going to see if it works.

Come on, come on, come on. I mean, it doesn't matter. It does. If I, no, it doesn't. It just affects how long ago I could do it. This is within the last 24 hours, so fifth level is when I need to cast it. It is here.

Okay, there we go. Yes, yes we go. Yes, yes, yes. Oh god. Okay. Oh god, what? Okay. Okay. Did I succeed? Yep.

What?! I'm going to make her believe that she enjoyed my company so very much that she agreed to end Nott's curse because she liked hanging out so much. And she hasn't had good company in a very long time. Laura fucking Bailey. Oh god. Oh.

Just going through the details of the spell here. Oh, how did that happen? Did you deliver it back in time or not? I'm going to go to the other side. Vortex. Okay. So as you complete your incantation, the minute of describing this shift in time, you... The minute of describing this shift in time, you, uh... I get done with telling her that and I just start going,

Oh my god, you are so funny. It has been quite a while since I've taken just a moment to relax, I suppose. I know, right? Everybody needs that. Strange day. I know, but thank you so much. It means a lot. You caught me in a good mood. Well.

Should you come across any more of those cupcakes? I will send them your way. Do not be afraid to come visit again. I will definitely do that. You know, they make some that are called black moss cupcakes. I will let you know, because, yeah. Well. The night grows late. Yeah, as it is, it's getting dark outside. The night grows late.

Yeah, as it is, it's getting dark outside. Is there anything else I can help you with? Something that you've always wanted? Just your company, you know. Thank you. Should I send my friend not in, or is it just, does it, do you need to see her? Oh, it's fine. You see the hand wave past,

and the shadows of the room grow extremely dark. The lantern fights to maintain a flame, and then it slowly expands back out. A deal is a deal. This has been fun. Well, it's a long journey back, I guess. I guess we should head out, huh? Thank you so much.

See you later. See you later. See you sometime. Okay. Does the door do the thing? Right. She seems very distracted and is trying to piece together incongruent events, but waves a hand and the door closes behind.

Oh! We got to go. You're good. Let's go. What? Let's go. Okay. Let's go. What do you mean? Let's get the fuck out of here. I need to get the teacher. No, you don't.

Your curse is broken. Deal has been made. Everything's fine. What did you give her? What do you mean it's been broken? broken. Deal has been made. Everything's fine. What did you give her? What do you mean it's been broken? I gave her something very precious. Let's get the fuck out of here. Your hands are still there.

I know. You know what? What did you give her? She ended up being a really nice lady. We got the long road. Just a, are you sure? Everything's fine. Then let's go. I am so serious. Let's walk. Let's walk. Oh, okay.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Does not look the same. Yeah, that looks the same. Yeah. Does Nott look the same? Yeah, Nott looks the same. Yeah, it's just the curse has been gone. We can try that spell again. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's keep going. Let's just go. Gather your things and rapidly follow the very insistent jester back into now the night shadows of the swamp ahead of you. Still exhausted, still recovering from the initial journey, you briskly vanish into the shadows of night.

200 feet behind them, a shadow Caleb's going. As you make your way into the deep mists, we're going to end tonight's session there. Fucking beast! You fucking beast! That was amazing. Oh my god, what a troll! I can't even begin to digest the dust. The loving!

That was such a boss move. The dust of deliciousness on the cookie. I've been holding on to fucking dust for so long! I have forgotten about that fucking item. And it's still good for five more servings. So obviously, in the moment, a legendary moment of this game. Holy fuck! Fun point of order.

The fucking swing. Fun point of order. The first roll I rolled was a two, and then I was like, oh, she's disadvantage. Well, no, but she has advantage on magic resistance. So it's just the roll. So it's just the roll and still the fail. That's what your face journey was. It was a complicated one.

It was like, fuck, wait, no, but disadvantage, disadvantage, fuck! You completely fucking reddled his Hansel. Yes! Oh my god, you fed a witch a baked good. How? For every inflict wounds that has failed, that your dice have failed your roll.

Oh god, that was the greatest. It was payback. That was a major moment. I would have started a war again. I know! Beau was about to just walk away from everything. I would have sacrificed a thousand lives. You have some dark,

Dalien-mother-fucked-you-sacrificed-a You have some dark. Nope, made up my mind. You sacrificed a cupcake. Yeah. Jesus. Half a cupcake. You were already moldy. Oh my god. World War III or a hostess cupcake. It's not a fun memory for me.

Yes. Yeah. It's permanent. Gets it out of you. It's permanent. She will forever. It's permanent. Somebody gets it out of them. Yep, it's permanent. What? She will forever. It's permanent until greater restoration or a move curse is cast. And if they don't know that anything happened,

then why would they ever ask for that? Yeah, it will only undo if something. She just seemed to be dealing with the incongruent elements of her day's events. Yeah, there's a fair chance we Rakshasa'd this shit, but. You know what, we, uh, we moved. A very long living, very intelligent

and conniving individual that has made their living feeding off the misery of other people that she's tricked them into. Oh my god. Yep. We'll pick this up next Thursday! Oh! Oh! Cannot believe.

Holy shit. I am so proud of you, Laura Bane. That was amazing. That was so clutch. Some goddamn walk-off ninth inning Grand Slam World Series. As a dungeon master, that was one of the more frustrating moments. Like, as a person that's built to an intense

encounter like this, I'm one of the most proud I've been of a player outsmarting me. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Wow. It was cool, though, because we could see your vague disappointment of like, no, this is my big, no, I'm leaning into this.

There is a hidden map over there behind a special curtain that we're never going to see. Maybe. Maybe. Until, well, we'll see. You don't know. You can walk into the swamp and hear a scream. Yep. That's true.

But nevertheless, that's the end of our session tonight. We'll be back with this next Thursday. Fudge, wow. I'm so happy. I'm going to have to just chew on that one tonight. Holy fuck, Laura. Wow, creepy as fuck in each one of those, what do we call them, interviews?

I mean. What a session. What are these long-fingered creatures that we've encountered? Double elbows? For some, well, like, Keona the Keen just happened to be a character you went to. This one's been playing for a long time. Oh my god. I thought you were going to go, like,

give her a tarot card reading or something. I was like, it's going to do something weird. See, I need, I've been waiting. I got, like, two more in there. Yeah, I got, like, three more. That was so cool. Now I can turn my phone again. My tactics ogre cards there,

just in case somebody wanted to go ahead and get a reading based on them wanting something and making an exchange like Thoreau did. Oh yeah. Cool. Oh man, all righty, well, nevertheless. Fuck! Thank you guys so much for joining us.

We'll pick it up next Thursday. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. Another week! What the fuck? or a family member, or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast. Many listeners find our show through word of mouth and recommendations. So please consider rating and reviewing our podcast, because each review makes an impression that may just inspire someone new to give our show a try.

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