Critical Role - C2E96 Family Shatters

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

The Mighty Nein, having arrived at the oasis menagerie, must now protect both themselves and the fragile garden denizens from the danger barreling toward them...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast, and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story. Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons Wow, there you go Welcome before we jump into tonight's session. We have a few announcements to get through

Including the first of our two fantastic sponsors tonight Two-point hospital Sam if you don't mind with whatever this is this week's episode is sponsored by the hit PC hospital management game, Two Point Hospital. Coming to PS4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch on February 25th, so now you can finally build, manage, and maintain your very own healthcare empire from the comfort of your couch, which got me thinking, what kind of doctor would I want to be? Oh my god.

Doctor! I need a doctor! Why hello, it's me, Dr. Raoul Amour, PhD. But you can call me Dr. Love. I studied at all the most prestigious international medical institutions. I'm an expert in emergency brain surgery, facial replacement surgery, and operating in war zones with no electricity.

Thank god, I feel really awful. Let me take a look. Your heart. Is something wrong? No, I've just never heard a more passionate soul before. I'm ready to make my diagnosis. You need 30 cc's of tender loving care, 20 seconds of smoldering looks,

and a kiss on the cheek from yours truly. Oh no. Looks like the patient wasn't ready for my medical grade handsomeness. No, you idiot, her appendix has ruptured, she needs antibiotics and surgery. What's your name? They call me Dr. Love.

What is wrong with you, Sam? And see. That's the whole bit. Okay. When you buy two... I'm sick, guys. In the head. When you buy Two-Point Hospital on console,

you also get two DLC expansions. You'll be doing that all night. No! Including Pebbly Island, where you can blaze a sterilized trail through a tropical island paradise, and the Bigfoot DLC, where you help local celebrity yeti, Bartholomew F. Yeti,

on his quest to improve the well-being of sickly locals. Sounds right. We'll be playing it when it launches next Tuesday in a special episode of Everything is Content. Oh, sweet, we already have it. Awesome. Go check it out. Go check out Two Point Hospital now

at bit.ly slash CR underscore hospital. Woo! Nice job, Jock. You can stay here the whole time. Even in digital worlds, you can build a better health care system than America has. Samy. Thanks, Sam. Thank you, Sam.

Thank you, Two-Way Hospital. Our follow-up sponsor tonight are our friends since the beginning of the campaign, D&D Beyond. There's an audience! You guys got a chance to check out their stuff? Yeah, D&D Beyond is a fantastic online digital tool for all your campaigns and character player elements to maintain, to expand upon, to customize,

all that fun stuff. We use it, it's awesome. Check it out at dndbeyond.link slash Critical Role, and thank you guys so much for continuing to support the show. A couple of announcements I got to get to. Issue number five of Vox Machina Origins is now available. Look at that beautiful bastard!

At your local favorite comic book store, as well as digitally at Comixology, Dark Horse Digital, and other fine places where comic books are available. Percy finally joins Vox Machina. It's so good. It's great. It's so good. Jodie Houser is so good at this. You know how there's some comic book series

where number one isn't the one, the collectible, it's the first appearance of blah, blah, blah? Yeah. This could be that one. It probably will be. Yeah. Thank you, Zip This could be that one. It probably will be. Yeah. Thank you, sir. That was good content. It's awesome. It could be this one.

It could be. Indeed. If you haven't seen all the- Spider-Man also makes an appearance in this one. Oh, okay, yeah. Can't confirm that. Can't confirm that at all. It's Spider-Man's first appearance in Critical Role. No, no, that's not true at all.

It's Spider-Man. Being what it is, it's an amazing cover art by our fan artist, a couple of kooks, at kooks000. They're an amazing artist. They did a great job with that cover art. So good. I mean, once again, Jodie Houser,

such an incredible writer. Levi Sampson's amazing. Everybody who was involved in this project did a great job. Hold it up again. Hold it up again. Gatorade is thirsty. I'm so good. It's so good.

That was a good game, by the way. I remember that game. That was a good game. That was a good session. That was a good game, by the way. I remember that game. That was a good game. It was a good session. That was a really good session. Also, we are heading to Chicago next week for C2E2. Chicago! Super excited. We have a very special live show coming up on that Thursday

that will be streaming live an hour earlier. For those who aren't familiar with the weird time scheduling changes between time zones. But we will be, this will be 6 p.m. Pacific next Thursday on Twitch, 8 p.m. Central. And if you're attending C2E2, be sure to check out our panel on Saturday at 11 a.m. on the main stage.

So excited for that, looking forward to meeting all the critters out there in Chicago, and it'll be awesome. Laura, you have some announcements. Oh, wow, yes I do! This week, we have put up for sale all of our merchandise from our 2019 live shows. Oh!

That, um... Why are you talking like that? You can't, that were unavailable before, except at the live shows. But I should let you, okay, so I'm going to tell you what they are. We have an oversized D20. Ooh!

We've got these beautiful metal dice. Ooh, they're so heavy! And then the Jester TV pin that was only available at the live show, so it actually says series number one, which is pretty cool, and it's got a little special glitter on it because it's Jester. Are these limited items? They are limited items, and they are probably going to sell out very soon,

because we only had a few left that we put in the store. So just so you guys know, once they're gone, they're gone. Oh my god. Oh, okay, that's it. The box looks cool. I know, it's so pretty, right? Ha-rah-rah-rah. We are on camera.

I love you so much, Ashley. Ha-rah-rah-rah. I just got a wee hour on camera. I love you so much, Ashley. I'm wrong, wrong. So I should say that the Chimmy pin, No, no, no, no. the art was by Jenny Park. Jenny Park, woo! Yes, we know. Shout out for Gabe Ransom. Ah!

Relax. Lean away. Stop looking at me. Just lean away. Stop looking at me! All righty. I believe then, without further ado, let us go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. The adventure begins They were always beside you

Your nerdy best friends And the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames For the battles ahead Villains beware Cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got falchions and cunning They don't see over there

There's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting Rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands Take a chance, roll the dice Roll the dice roll the dice Roll the dice Critical

Roll the dice Critical Roll the dice Critical Roll the dice Critical Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul

As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll Now it's your turn to roll! And welcome back. So. Oh shit. Last we left off, the Mighty Nein had made their way to the southern edge of Xhorhas, to the White Dawn Lagoon,

in search of what seemed to be the next destination in Caduceus' main journey, through his visions he had received from the Wild Mother in hopes of hopefully coming upon the rest of his family as they themselves have been traveling scattered a bit over time. You made your way through the jungles on the southwestern edge of the White Dawn Lagoon coast.

Through there, you encountered some dangerous creatures, had some revelations with the Traveler, and a unique series of conversations, a mild understanding of where both sides between you and him stand, and the impending gathering of Traveler followers in the weeks to come. Upon battling your way through the jungle and some odd creatures that didn't seem indigenous

to this specific region, you made your way to the oasis in question, a beautiful lake lying here in the center of this deep, dense jungle. It's deep red earth exposed against the clear waters and a collection of stone sculptures that peppered the entirety of the banks here, of all sorts of creatures and people, which upon closer look, seem to be a bit more detailed

than you anticipated. Upon inspecting a number of these entities. Jesus, a lot of them. I'm not good for my anxiety, thank you. A number of these entities, Caduceus recognized members of his family amongst these statues. And as you began to assess the scenery,

you heard the heavy hoofbeats of a creature charging from the treeeline in your direction. A medley armored bull-like entity, swollen with muscle, and it seemed to be these piercing barbs that pushed between its metal plates, emitting some sort of a greenish fume from between its various exposed underbellies, its giant carved horns pushing forward and hooked as it barreled towards you. You hear this large bellowing roar as its mouth opens up,

not like that of a bull's, but almost like a giant two-part scoop jaw. It is unnatural, it is mutated, and it is charging your direction. I need, first off, you all to place yourselves on this battlefield. Caduceus, you had just inspected two members of your family right there.

Cool. I'm near the waterline. I like that we don't get to know where this creature is. I know! We'll lose ourselves! Of course. Here I go. I'll go in.

Here. There you go. All right, Beauregard. I don't know. I'll be a little bit. Not there! No, from up a little bit from Caduceus. Here? Yeah, that sounds good. Okay. I remember that I said I was curious

about different kinds of animals, so let's put me by the moorbounder looking stuff. You got a moorbounder there? You got it? Yasha? Hmm. Okay, I feel like I'm going to go that way, but near the shoreline,

because I was peeking in here. Over this way? Right now. Over here? Yeah. Just because, why not be alone out there? Justy? Sorry, Chris. I'm going to say that I was near Fjord. So that'd be over in the Sea Region warehouse. I'm going to be checking out this little dude over here.

Okay, you got it. Is he going to come on the line? Nott? Nott would like to be in Boston at PAX East, where he can check out the Dwarven Forge booth at Elderwood Academy booth, where he can go check out Dwarven Forge and get a peek at their Kickstarter Wildlands.

Find out more at dwarvenforge.com. But Nott can't be there. So instead, Nott would like to go closer to that tree. What tree? Like where? Landed directly. Yeah, because it was like, you're not done with this. On the knot. Like here? Like up on top of the, here behind it?

Which direction are we moving in? You guys are moving up along this way. I would be not close to the water. That's true. So just like, yeah, where that hump is next to that tree. Right here? That'd be great, yeah. Okay, there you are. Vah-ha, vah-ha, vah-ha.

Someone would. Check it out. And thereabouts is where it's coming from. What? Ooh! That's the sound I imagine it makes. No! So, I need everyone to roll initiative, please. Oh my goodness.

Wait, did they plan that? Do we see it? Right there. Oh, sh. Wow. A rare high number for Caleb's initiative. Oh, a rare high number for Caleb at negative. Oh, a rare low number for Beau. Okay.

So 25 to 20. 20. All right, we have Caleb up front. What? 20 to 15. 17. 16. 18. Wow, guys, those are great rolls.

Who did what? What did you say, Asha? What did you say, Caduceus? 16. Up yet. Jester, you said you were 17? Yes, sir. All right, Caduceus. With a damage?

Yeah. 15 to 10. Oh, that's me. No, it's not. What is it? 11. 11, all right. This one goes to 11. Nice.

Not alone. Not alone. Sickness. 10 to five. It's not sickness. Eight. It's the leftover. I'm ashamed of myself. Wow, Nott, you rolled low, too.

Yeah. That's not a good move. All right. We reverse you this time. That is all. After you hear the low haunting like, , this weird, almost dire horn of a bellowing yell from this creature.

You see sand and red derping thrown up, the ground cracking beneath it as it barrels forward. These two hooked spiked horns to the front of it, its glowing green eyes and the fume that's spilling out from between its armored pieces. Up top, we have Caleb. What are you doing, buddy? So in that split-second moment,

Caleb sees Caduceus' look of recognition and realizes what is happening over here and sees this thing coming through the underbrush, so rattling through his bag, molasses along his hand, which he then spins in the air, and I will cast Slow on that. Slow on that? All righty, what is the save on that one? It is a 17.

No, what kind of save? Wisdom. Wisdom. It's a failure, it's going to use a Legendary Resistance. Oh! A Legendary Resistance. Yes, it does. Oh shit.

You've got one of those. As you attempt to reach out and weave this arcane net into its physicality to slow it down, it shrugs it off, no effect. It continues barreling forward. You still have a movement and a bonus action. Yeah, he will then just take a little shimmy to the side to stand behind this stone animal and yeah, that's right. And then maybe five feet diagonally that way as well,

backing away. There? No. There? There? There, yeah. All right. Should we toko pop? And then maybe five feet diagonally that way as well, backing away. There? No. There? There? There, yeah. All right. Okay. You got it. All done. All righty. Fjord, you're up.

Oh god, it is my turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Roll high, buddy. I like going first. I don't know. I'll go, ah, ah, metal pole! And I'll run this direction. Actually, I'll fire off three Eldritch Blasts.

As you remembered, yes. Then I'll take off running. All right, go for it. A one, a two, a three. The Eldritch Blast does a two. I know, apparently I get three now. Up, down, down, down. Level up a bit. Get to the center

of a glowing, mutated pool. That is a 16. 16 misses. Misses, second one. Natural one. Aw, natural one. Aw, come on. 22. 22 does hit.

Okay, great, one of three. The first one just glances off of its shoulders. The second one just goes wide into the trees. The third one does manage to pierce it in the side of its shoulder. Nice, 14 points of force of damage. Got it. I will run force of damage. Got it. I will run my 30 feet.

This way? Yeah, in the direction of Yasha and go, Jester, let's go! You got it. As they're splashing along the shoreline. Yeah. All righty, finishing Fjord's turn. Jester, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck.

Okay. I'm going to, just to see what it does, I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt at third level, straight at the dude. Right there? Right up the butt. Okay, it is from where you are right now, has half cover, so just be aware of that. Can I shim it over so I can see him?

So you go over to about there and it will lose its half cover. All right. Because it is larger than them. Okay, I'm going to roll. Perfect. Ooh! 29!

29 will work. All right. What extra? Seven, six. Wait, I should, I don't have my stuff organized. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. What level did you cast it at? That was a third level.

You got it, roll for it. Oh, balls! Eight, 10, 14, 16 points of radiant damage. 16 points of radiant damage. The next attack has advantage. It is now shining brightly from its current position. And then can I use the rest of my movement? You can, you have 15 more feet.

Can I back up into the water? Sure. And about there, that'll be the rest, because now that you're in the water, all you can breathe water from the spell that was cast, it's still half movement moving into it. So anything beyond that line right there is going to be about,

it's 10 feet of movement per square you move. Okay. Just be aware. 10 feet per square. Yes. Got it. Got it. Your speed is halved, essentially. All right, that finishes Jester's turn. At the end of Jester's turn. Can we set it?

At the end of Jester's turn, it's going to go ahead and use one of its legendary actions. One of its? At the end of Jester's turn. Can we set it? At the end of Jester's turn, it's going to use one of its legendary actions. One of its? To use Defensive Shift after being impacted, and it's going to move 15 feet. Oh, come on, Fafnir. Defensive Shift. All right. Caduceus, your turn.

First of all, da-ba-da-ba-da-ba, I'm going to, this thing doesn't look that smart. I'm going to use my bonus action to turn invisible for one round. All right, so you... Cahooses?

You're ridiculous. Green smoke, right? So we probably shouldn't let it get near us at all. I ridiculous. Green smoke, right? So we probably shouldn't let it get near us at all. I can... Green smoke? Yeah. Right? That's not right. Because if any of us go down, then I can't do anything, so I'd rather keep...

Pour it out of its nostrils and emanating from underneath where its arms meet its armor and through some of the gaps in it. I don't want to be a judge. No, I'd rather save options for when we go down. Commercials, they don't use green smoke. Coming from the armpits to be good things. I'm going to start moving in a diagonal direction

towards the water and about halfway there, when I've got three, when I've got Nott, Beau, and Jester. I've got Nott and Beau within, well. Yeah, it looks about equal. Yeah, Nott, Beau, and Jester, I'm going to cast, actually, not on you, I'm so sorry, on myself, Nott and Beau, I'm going to cast Bless. Mm-hmm. All right.

So Nott, Beau, and who else? Nott, Beau, and myself. Not me. Well, just that way I can keep it up because I get the extra d4 to the save. Selfish. That've got it. That's the definition of being a beast. 15 feet, you cast Bless, and you have 15 more feet if you want to move.

I'm going to head out and start getting into the water and keep moving away from my family. You can get right there. All righty. Probably, if I can hide. Okay. You were invisible, so you're hiding pretty well. That finishes Caduceus' turn.

It is now the creature's turn. No. Here we go. All right. It's going to move. First, it's going to go ahead and and it's going to move right up to Nott, who's closest to it. As it rushes towards you,

it's going to attempt to make a gore attack. No, can you use your reaction to jump away from it? Use my reaction to jump away from it, Matt. That doesn't work, sorry. That's a 21 to hit. Yes! Quick, do you have a red cape? All right, and because it moved

at least 20 feet straight ahead, you need to make a strength saving throw for me, if you don't mind. Sure. With an extra d4. Ooh, thank you. Ooh! That's helpful. 15.

15, fail. You are knocked prone. Okay. It trampled me. And for the first, as it gores you with its horns, you take, oh, it's cocked. Right at head level, too, so it made an extra gore.

Fantastic. 30 points of piercing damage. Uncanny dodge. All right, so you take 15. Do you uncanny dodge when you're prone? Yeah, it's just a reaction to make it happen. But it does get to make a hoof attack against you as a bonus action make it happen. But it does get to make a hoof attack against you as a bonus action.

Hoof. Grills. Yeah. That'll be 19 to hit? Hits. All righty. Then as it slams into you and you scrape onto the ground,

hurt, trying to duck, you manage to duck out of the way to miss it peering the middle of your torso and going after horrible organs, and then all of a sudden you look up and you see it slams down with its hooves onto you. You suffer. You suffer. In general.

All right. 19 points of bludgeoning damage. Damn. Hello. All right. 19 points of bludgeoning damage. Damn! This thing's really hard. Jeez! And with the rest of its movement, since you have four rounds, it's going to go ahead and shift this way with its movements. No, no!

Nine! Continue facing that right there. That ends its turn. Beauregard, you're up. Sorry, no, Yasha. Yasha's up, and then Beau in the knot. I just, I want to, I would like to rage. Okay.

And then I want to just start running as much as I can. I'll just take that as the whole turn. 30, 35, 40, what's your movement? Yes. It's going to be 40 feet? 40 feet, yeah. So that's your movement.

You could use your action to continue to run the rest of it. Yes. I would like to do that. Someone call Dr. Love. 35, so you are now right there. Do I have a bonus action attack or no? I wonder if I should do that, then. It's not a bonus action attack, unfortunately.

No. I'm just there. But you're there in front of it. I'm there in front of it. Okay. Yeah. That's good. You got it. Okay. Yeah. That's good. You got it. All righty. Yeah, that's good, because that gives both advantage.

Yeah, it gives both advantage. Yeah. Oh, that's good, that's really good. Well, you can be flanking with a technical. Okay. All right, at the end of your turn, no, it's going to, that's it. All right, cool, that's your turn?

Yes. Beauregard, you're up. What did it not do? It's made to, that's it. All right, cool, that's your turn? Yes. Beauregard, you're up. What did it not do? It's made of trexperiments, it's terrible. It's a pinata, guys, get candy. Okay, I'm going to run up to it and flank with Yasha. All righty. Go for it. Flank there.

All righty. Thing is going to fart on you both. I know. I'm going to try and stay up top. On my head. I'm going to avoid the spleen. Try to go for a half. You can see these odd, long quills

that seem to be pushing out of underneath where its body armor is. The armor's bending in awkward ways. I don't like him. It looks a little wrong in its design, but go for it, make your attacks. I'm going to go for what looks like the weak spots. Sure, between the metal.

Yeah. Do it, make your attacks. I'm doing that. So you got two attacks, two actions. You can add a d4 to both of those two. Which is good. It's your blessing. For that one and that one. Nice.

Okay, so 26. 26 hits. And then 15. 15 misses. Which I believe misses. So one of them you strike and it hits the middle plate and the other one you manage to pierce in between two of the plates and hits

a little more softer ground. Okay. Do I have advantage? Yeah, because you have flanked. You already got advantage because. Oh, I didn't. So that'd be your first attack, so roll for a second attack now. Okay, that's much better.

Roll another four. 25. Okay, both hit. So roll damage for each. Thank you. Okay, that's good. Guiding Bolt. Oh, Guiding Bolt. That's why I had advantage. Well, also you're flanking with Yasha. Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guiding Bolt is not now. So it's like tripling. You should really add before we have it. It's just natural. Yeah. 13 damage on the first one. And... Sorry.

11 damage on the second. Got it. So as you like, as each impact hits, you pull back and with each blow against its body, the sections between the metal plates emits that green gas that you saw trailing behind it. Nott, Yasha, and Beau, who are adjacent to it, you all suffer eight points of poison damage.

You don't, though. I can't be poisoned. Right, so you take no damage. Both of you guys take eight points of poison damage from the first attack. First. And the second attack deals six points of poison damage. Every time we attack it? Just melee attacks. If you're right next to it, right?

It didn't happen when the Eldritch Blast hit it? It didn't seem to hit with an Eldritch Blast. And how far, well, how far did it look like the gas? Just around it, immediately around it. Okay, okay, okay. You're going to this action? Yeah. Vagent Defense.

Okay, you got it. All right. That was a mature decision of Beau. All right. At the end of Beau's turn, it's going to go going to use two of its legendary actions. Two of them!

To tighten its armor. To tighten? So now you watch as the plates around its body seize up and condense. The quills themselves bending back, and it looks like it almost hurts it to do so, but it seems to be a little more fortified for the time being. Does it look like the plates are part of it?

Like they're part of the body? They look like they've grown out of it naturally, but also weirdly, I don't know. You haven't quite seen a creature like this before. That finishes Beauregard's turn. Nott, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck. Shit. I will use half movement to stand up.

All right. And sort of brush the hoof marks off of me. It's right next to me, so I guess I should bonus action disengage. If you'd like to. Yes, I would like to. Okay. And then, shit.

How do I not get killed by this thing? Can you run up a tree? That's a good question. I can run up a tree. If you'd like to. How tall is that tree? That tree's about, I'd say, 20, 25 feet. But the lower branches are about 10 feet off the ground. But how much movement?

I only have half movement, so I have... You have 15 feet left. I'm like 10 feet away from it. Well, I'll say 20, because your meat speed's 35, right? 35, yeah. I'll say 15 to 20. But it's 10 feet to get to the tree, at least, right? That's about, yeah.

You might be able to get to the bottom branch. I might, I might. Instead, I will run that way. This way? 15 feet. At a diagonal? Yeah, and then cast Levitate and go 20 feet up. Oh shit.

Okay, so you lift him off the ground? Yeah. Whoa. I bite double into the air. Okay, so you lift him off the ground? Yeah. Whoa. Like, double into the air. Okay. Beau, how hard is it to extract aspects at some point? Archangel Tristan. Oh, okay. I had to do Flurry of Blows, but I didn't want to give them for a point.

That's pretty cool, actually. But yeah, I'm just curious. Ah. Hmm, this. I was just curious. Ah. Hmm. This is nerve-wracking. Levitate from which one? Oh, I don't know what I'm doing. What'd you say? Levitate at? Oh, at the only level I have, level two.

The only level I have. Don't do that, that's all I got. Do you have level two? I got it, it's on my list. It was an option for me on D&D Beyond, a company I love. That's true, double checking. D&D Beyond, a company I love. That's true. Double checking. D&D!

D&D Beyond. D&D! You got a husky, sexy voice tonight. You got the perfect warlock. Uh-oh. Nott's criticizing my spell choice. Each of these spells must be enchantment or illusion. That's, oh, it does say transmutation.

It offered it to me. Did not know that I couldn't have it. Oh no! The spells you learn at 8th, 14th, and 20th level can be from any school of magic, so that's why we chose it. So you're good. Just double checking, double checking. You're good, you're good. That's goodth, and 20th level can be from any school of magic, so that's why we chose it. So you're good. Just double checking, double checking.

You're good, you're good. That's good enough. Oh man. Just to be sure. That is one of the three rules of Dungeons & Dragons. There's three. Yep, that's right. That's right. Perfect, so as you rush off to the side, you cast a spell and lift up off the ground.

You're not floating in the air above, looking down at this creature, your friends pincering it from that side, and the scattering statues that sit amongst the beach side of the oasis in the red earth. It's really nice up here, guys. All right, Nott, that's your turn. Caleb, you're up. Fjord, you're on deck.

Caleb, very frustrated to have his first foray shrugged off, is going to move forward. I want to put him here. Right there? Here, let's say here. I need a clear line of sight. He digs into his bag and pulls out a lodestone, which he palms in his hand and drags some minerals

and dust up his entire arm and points his finger, and I cast Disintegrate at this thing. At this thing? Deck save. A deck save. Oh, it's cocked. No! That is an eight. Go ahead and roll some damage on that.

Hey! Thank you, Salem. There's 68 points of force damage. Whoa! Fuck! He'd be castrated. And then I, ooh. As you blast it with the rag,

you watch some of the metal just rust away on its body, exposing parts of its flesh, this grayish musculature underneath, but where that burns away, you can see where the fume is coming from, this bright green, almost neon liquid. You would almost assume it's blood. And then I'm just going to dance my last 10 feet

diagonally back towards the water and away from Caduceus's family. All right, you got it. Vos just turns over her shoulder with a little bit of hair burning. All right, at the end of Caleb's turn, it's going to use its last legendary action to use Defensive Shift.

One, two, three. Shit. All right. Does Yasha move? Yeah, do we get a little bit of an attack? No, because it moves without triggering opportunity attacks when it does that. What is it about a game of dice

that is making you literally handshake? It's just dice. It's so nerve-wracking! The stakes are very high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you move diagonally? Is it like this? Bump, bump, bump? Yeah.

Can I move diagonally in his direction 30 feet? 30, right there. Okay, does that put me within? He's still at a range, isn't he? He's more than 30 feet away. I'll fire three more Eldritch Blasts in his direction. Go for it. Pew pew.

Pew pew. God fucking anus, 11. 11 misses. 23. 23 misses. What? And the last one's a miss, too. Oh, because he did the tightening move, motherfucker. All three miss, all three miss.

Two of them hit, and then no impact, no damage. Just a little dark scuff of the eldritch power, leaving residual nothing. Fuck you! That is some bull shit. All right, that finishes your turn. Jester, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck. Okay.

Jeez Louise! So you don't roll like... Or do things that don't involve AC. Yeah. Magic. Which is not what I do. That's true. That's not what I'm doing. I'm going to use my movement to climb up the rock. Can I climb up the rock next?

Yeah, I can definitely allow that, definitely. That'll be... Make an athletics check for me. Well, you know what? Yeah, just make an athletics check. Natural 20. Ooh. Oh, you're fine. Wish I would've been rolling something else. Okay.

And I'm going to cast... Jeez. That's the level seven. Aw, jeez. Oh, that's, yes, I'm, okay. I'm sorry. This is so much harder now that I know that he's hard to hit.

He's lost two legendary resistances. He's lost one. He's lost one legendary. Wait, okay, okay, okay, okay. There was a two? He's got legendary actions. Legendary actions, which is different than legendary resistances. I understand, that is correct.

I'm going to use Invoke Duplicity. Okay. As an action. Thank you. So you go ahead and place your Jester duplicate where? I'm going to go as far away from me as I can towards the... What's the range you can have on that? Yes. 30 feet, within 30 feet of me.

20, 30, that would be the furthest you can get it. And then for my bonus action, I'm going to cast Healing Word at a lame-o, first level on Nott. Okay. What's the range on that? 60 feet. Yeah, Nott's within range. You guys are eye level now, actually, because you're up on this tall, spire-like rock,

and Nott's just floating in the air. Wee! Okay. So that's eight points of healing. That's not bad. Thank you. That's not bad. A rare healing order. Did I finish the jester? Yeah, that's all I can do.

You're up. Thing's hard to hit right now. Okay. Five, two, one. 23 doesn't hit! 30. I'm now visible again. That's right.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. I mean, we can fight. It's just probably hard to hit. You rolled an average of 20, you'll hit it. All righty, buddy. I'm going to get as close to within 30, I'm going to get within 30 feet to try and,

as close as I can to throw something at him before I can back off again. Okay, which way do you want to go for that? I'm like directly towards him and then I'm going to like scoot back. Five. That's 30 feet. Oh yeah, we're way, yeah, we're.

Like right there. Yeah, that's 30 feet, right. Okay, and I'm going to cast, I'm going to do something, I'm going to have this sit and do something. I'm going to have this sit and do something. I'm going to use Channel Divinity Okay. to do Path to the Grave.

Path to the Grave, which, so the next time one of my allies hits the creature with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all the attack's damage. You got it. All right, cool. And now I'm backing the fuck off. All right. Preferably behind the trees. Like over there? Yeah. Okay, cool. And now I'm backing the fuck off. All right. Preferably behind the trees.

Yeah, like, yeah. Over there? There, yeah. Okay, cool. In between here and there. That finishes your turn. All right. Trying to be a good cleric. I don't want to be a good cleric.

I want to hit him. That's why I asked. All right, on this turn. Inhales as his armor extends once more, gets all of its legendary actions left. You watch the armor plates splitting as it begins to inhale, and that fume that was spilling out stops getting out, and then it unleashes a torrent of it.

Ooh. Out this way. Oh no, not at the bridge. At the bridge. We'll see here. We'll see. You do get an added d4 to your save, though. Everybody freeze. Everybody freeze!

It may be poison. It's pretty tight there, let me see. I'll stick my back to the edge. Go from there. A punk. It's pretty tight there, let me see. I'll just go back through there. Go from there. A punk. It's pretty close. I'll take it, it's fine, it's fun, it's a game. It's pretty close.

It's out, it ain't within? It's fine! I feel like if the tip is there. Give me the damage! It's falling over the square. Okay. Well, just on the edge, I need not Beauregard and Yasha to roll a constitution saving throw this week.

With a plus four? Yeah, you and Beau get a plus four. This is a cat. Fine, guys. Natural 20. Nice. Yeah! Natural one. Ooh. With your d4? 23.

23. It's poison? It's not poison. No, it's stone, man. You are restrained by Regard as you find your body suddenly beginning to lock up in places, your skin turning slightly gray on the edges of your elbows. And is directly in front of her and can smash her. Oh no, no.

Paralysis takes a little minute to fully kick in though, right? You don't know. I don't know, okay. Oh no. We're restrained. We don't know, okay. Who knew? Restrained. We didn't know. You are restrained at the moment. She's restrained. Do we see a physical change in her body?

She's turned gray? She's turned gray. Yeah. You just hear me start going, fuck, fuck. Yep. And with that, I'm just going to go ahead and... I'll change his stuff. Fucking god.

Thank you. You're not gray yet, though. No. You rush up towards Caleb. You do get an attack opportunity against it. Get out of the water! You're at a disadvantage because you are restrained. But with a d4. Huh? But what?

You're at a disadvantage because you are restrained. With a d4. You have roll again, disadvantage. So the number with a d4. Okay, okay, come on. Come on, 25. 25 hits. Yay! As it tries to rush towards Caleb,

you go ahead and sweep out its front leg and it skids into the dirt. Its back leg is kicked up for a second and it has to right itself and shake the dust off its face. Sentinel! Yep. Oh, is that what you were describing? Yeah, that's what I was describing, with you tripping it up. So yes, you're right. What shake the dust off its face. Sentinel! Yep. Oh, is that what you were describing? Yeah, that's what I was describing with you tripping it up.

So yes, you're right. What's the damage on that? 10. Double, nice, double. He was sat in place. 10 double. That's right, 20 points of damage. Well, why?

Because I cast a spell that doubled the damage. Cool. All righty. Angrily spins back in this direction, glaring at you. I look at my arm that's slowly petrifying, and I'm like, All righty, that finishes the turn. Yasha, you're up. Beau, you're on deck.

Okay, so I would like to start with, I'm going to unleash a battle cry so that everybody has advantage on your attack rolls and saving throws. For this round. For this round. Attack rolls and saving throws? Yes, for this round. Anybody in the interior? Anybody, yeah, within 60 feet.

So I think everybody's within 60 feet? Yeah, that's everybody. Yeah, that's everybody. So I would like to go up to him. Okay. If I can flank with... 30, 35. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, and then I would...

So proud of everybody. Any openings I can see, I want to try to get in there. Sure, go for it. Okay. It's cocked, I'm really sorry. But I get advantage. You do. Okay. Ugh, I don't know if this will hit.

Shit. 20 total. 20 just hits. Ooh! Good enough. So his thing isn't still in defense mode or whatever? That lasts until its next turn. I'm going to roll a savage attack, so that's a seven. Reckless, savage. That's a little better.

I don't know, 19 points of damage for the first hit. Yeah, come on. Okay. As the gas expands from its body, as soon as you impact it into you and you cough it off, you take six points of poison damage. Okay. Damn. You're fine, you're fine. Every time, this is a tank.

All right, I'll go again. Brush it off, that's nothing. With advantage, don't forget. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. That would be 22. 22 hits, go roll damage. Sorry. Okay, six, I'm trying again.

Poison damage is a lot on that one. Okay, that was better. You evil lapping with croissant is like... 14 points of damage. 14? Nice! You take 11 points of poison damage from that impact. 11 points just from that one or total? Just from that one.

Okay. So with each of these impacts, the poison sprays onto your skin and burns into the flesh and you're like, having to pull back, your eyes are squinting because it's starting to burn your eyes as you pull away. But you manage to take some decent hits at it. You can see big sections of its back are gashed

and the metal plates are bent in and bleeding that green ooze out of it. Okay. That finishes your turn? Yep. Beauregard, you're up. Nott, you're on deck. Trying to take advantage of the fact that I'm slowly losing feeling of my right arm. I'm just like, right haymaker, right haymaker, and crack into this guy.

Go for it. Oh, disadvantage. You have disadvantage, but you're technically flanked with Yasha, so it's a single attack. So both of those are your two attacks. So both of those are my rolls, which is what I was going for. Natural 20 on the first one.

Nice! And I have a d4. This is, I still, oh, maybe it will. 21. Yes! It makes it, it just makes it. Last max. Rolled an eight. So the first roll of damage for the further crit. Okay, okay.

Is Beauregard visibly stoning? I mean, you don't see anything yet. It's more, it's just starting to like her, she's starting to feel the physicality changing. I mean, where we are. Do you hear sirens? No, okay, no, no, no, it's fine. Damage on the first one? 18.

18, nice. Well, that's good, too. 13. 13. Damage on the second. Great, Yasha, you take nine points of poison damage. Sorry. And five points of poison damage. Sorry.

So 14 total. Are you okay? She's like. She just dropped under 100. Don't tell her secrets. Oh, I mean, okay, all right. Flurry of Bluffs. Go for it.

I mean, she's looking fine. Okay, okay, if she looks fine, then Flurry of Bluffs. So a single roll for each of these. I have no brain right now. Pop up. Still with the d4s, come on. Okay, d4 for the seven. Uh-huh.

21 again. 21 hits. And for this one, I don't think it makes it 19. 19 misses. The third one doesn't. But, okay, 10 damage. 10 damage, Yasha, you take 12 points of poison damage. He's throwing a d12.

And extract Aspect. Indeed, so as you pummel it, your one hand, going into a blade-type strike, slips into its body, and your ki connects with its body's life force. In that moment, you realize, as part of its physical interior, it is immune to poison, but it also cannot be frightened,

cannot be petrified, and cannot be stunned. It is a wall of angry, mutated beast. You didn't say charmed, though, right? No. Can be charmed. Okay. I just yell out, can't stun this one, which really fucking blows.

Make a constitution saving throw for me. Ugh. With a d4. With advantage and a d4. Because everything stacks, everything stacks. Seven players, everything stacks. Constitution, you said? Yeah. That's good, 18 plus three, 21. 21, yeah, you resist the effect.

Shake it off. Yes. I shook it off completely? Shake it off, you're not restrained. Yes. Oh, wow. It didn't turn into a statue. Okay, okay, okay. So you manage to just do physicality, shrugs off the effect.

Damn, that's great. The grip begins to fade, you shake off the elements of crackled dirt and stone that began to gather, you're fine. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. That was my turn.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Is that the Nickelodeon song? Well, because he did it, but I was like, that's not like Nickelodeon. This is nerves. So many nerves. All right, end of your turn. It's going to go ahead and use one Legendary Action.

No, don't. To go ahead and defensive shift. No! Five, 10, 15. We get to, we don't get to. Can I do the thing? No. Because he did the thing. Oh right, we can't.

Yeah, there's no opportunity to attack. So basically it barrels through and you try and go to swing and it just managed to push out before you even got a chance to swing at it. All righty, that finishes Beauregard's turn. Nott, you're up, Caleb, you're on deck. Okay. While levitating, I will get into the prone position

to steady my shot. Okay. I love all of the speed. Yep, air swimming. Yep, and I will fire at the bull. Go for it. With a d4. With a d4.

And you have advantage. And I have advantage, yeah. 26. That hits, go ahead and roll damage. Oh shit, it's not next to anything. Nope, no sneak attack. Think I can hide up here? No.

I'm going to say probably not. Shit, all right, so it'll just- But you had advantage, does that, that doesn't matter? No, no. Do you get sneak attack? You wouldn't have had advantage on that. Why did I have advantage? Because of Battlecry.

Oh! If you had advantage on the attack, I believe it would allow a sneak attack. I think it does. Are you sure it does, then? Battle Cry, I couldn't remember. Couldn't remember Battle Cry. Guys, I remembered something!

Yeah, yeah. Welcome back. I'm starting to look out of my DC. No, you got it, you got it. Yeah, whenever you have an attack that has advantage, that's one of the criteria for getting a sneak attack. Thank you. Actually, I'm normal.

Oh man, that's so much better. Oh wow. That's really good. Okay. 10, 20, 30. Oh wow. Plus 636. I'll do Fury of the Small, making it 47. 47 points of damage.

That's some damage. Wow. 47 points of damage. Holy shit! The bolt sinks into the top of its head and. It's angry. It's real pissed. Oh my god. Seeing that it's angry, I'll float down five feet closer to it. Okay.

And fire again. Okay. Float down. I don't have advantage on this. You do, all attacks. All attacks this round have advantage. Let's see if I get enough. Okay, so it's more, it's like 29 to hit.

Yeah. I don't get sneak attack twice. No, you only get it once per turn. Ooh, this is only eight more points of damage. All righty. And then I will float back up 15 feet higher. All right, we'll put you at, this is now 30 feet.

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Bye-bye! All right, finishing Nott's turn brings us to Caleb, Fjord, you're on deck. Okay, Caleb does not even move, he's going math brain and seeing where Caduceus' family are, sees where Beauregard is.

Actually, at the end of Nott's turn, it's going to go ahead and use... Calm your shit. It's going to use Legendary Action to go ahead and defensive shift. We don't care about family here. 10, 15, 20. All of it. No! No! Watch that statue! No. 10, 15, 20. No!

Is that a statue? No! Wait, what? Wait, did you take out a statue? We did. What statue was it? Matthew's got statue bits. Statue crumbles? Statue bits.

No, I pulled bits and pieces. Oh, Matthew. As that statue just explodes and pieces and chunks of it land on the battlefield. Sick bastard. Where it once was. What was it? Who was that? Oh no, that one, too!

You don't know yet? I didn't see. Was that your family? Oh, good dearest ass! Wait, was that who you were looking at? No, no, there were two over there, but I don't know who that was. Caleb, it's your turn.

Okay, change this thing slightly then, so he sees he had an idea, but he's got an altar. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. He runs over here. 25, 30, unfortunately, now you're getting enough into the water there where it's starting to lower your speed. That's as far as you can move there.

Okay. All right. Did you just Baywatch run over there? Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, that's what I was imagining. Except a filthy hobo. No, he's got his purple coat on, he's not filthy.

He washed a long time ago now. Yeah. He gets dirty a lot. Shit. Small duty, to be fair. Shit. Okay, I'm going to do it anyway. Pulls out the cat's cradle and just slams it.

Is it water where I'm standing? You're in water, yes. Balls, Ted. Can't do that then. I thought I would make it farther, so instead I get to do something completely different. I'm going to cast, shit, I'm going to cast Slow again. Okay. That's a...

That's wisdom. Wisdom. Ooh, 19 plus one, 20. Saves. All right, sorry. Goddamn it! That move changed everything. Good. All right, that finishes your turn? Yep.

All righty, that brings us to Fjord. Yeah, I'm going to run. Eat advantage. Uh-huh, I'm going to run 30 feet back on this diagonal. Oh boy. Okay. We attack you. 30, that gets you right there. You run past those two statues there.

It does get an attack of opportunity on you. That's a natural 20. That went as poorly as it could have. You are? Close. I've as poorly as it could have. You are... Close. I've been 35 feet away from it. I'm 35 feet away from Fjord? Yeah.

Yeah, because it's five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. Motherfucker. Okay, never mind. So. Sorry. That was a gamble, and it didn't pay off. Nope. Sometimes it does. Not today.

Not today. What did he say to the does. Not today. Not today. What did he say to the corpse? Not today. This is an utter disaster. Oh boy. I milked that one. 54 points of piercing damage. Oh, that sounds good.

How much? 54. As you go to run away, and it just gores you in the back with its horn, you see Fjord get impaled on it, it swings its head side to side, shaking him before he gets thrown off of it. He rolls across the edge,

barely getting back to his feet, and you can feel the puncture wound in your back bleeding profusely. Should I steer it clear? Oh, wow. This is really... Oh, it hurts. Heart times are good.

All right. It sucked. I'm going to send all three Eldritch Blasts towards it with advantage. Go for it. That's a 21 to hit. That hits. Okay, second one is a 25.

That hits. Third one is a 25. That hits. Third one is a 20. That hits. I did it! There we go. 11 points of forced damage. That is seven points of forced damage. 18 and 12. So 30. Nice. 30 points of force damage.

After getting up, you turn around and just fan the hammer over towards it. That's how much it's taking. Yeah, you can see how the hits it's taking. It's starting to show wear and tear. Like, it's hurt. It's not limping, but it's, you guys have done a fair amount of damage, too,

and it's starting to really show. That finishes Fjord's turn. Jester, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck. All right, for my bonus action, I'm going to have my duplicate run forward, take a flying leap into the air, do a double flip, and land on its back. Ooh!

Like, with one hand holding a horn and the other hand going. Yeah! You got it. Mm-hmm. So you're going to take damage other hand going. Yeah! You got it. Mm-hmm. It's a fake damage to your bones. Okay. And the duplicate jester Just reflect off of your...

is going to try to cast Inflict Wounds at 5th-level. Go for it. Roll for an attack. Woof. Thank god it was an advantage. 23. 23 hits. Yes. Yeah, it's not woof. Moof!

Okay, so that is... Like a cow's point. How many? 7d10. Goddamn, you guys. Dang. Wait, did you say 7d10? 7d10, yeah. Woo!

Fifth level of Inflict Bones. I'm just going to use the Perceptive. What a good move! Thank you. There it is, there it is. That was the one. How many is that? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I'm bovine proud of you.

Nope, nope. I'm going to work that one. No, how about I'm very proud of you. Oh! Show me a button. 26 is 19, 21, 26, 28. Okay, I'll turn back.

I'll get there. Yeah. That was shitty. 28 points. 28 points of chronic damage to it as the illusory jester strikes down and he watches a brief burst of black necrotic energy swirls around and digs into its body.

Something you see these black smearing tendrils of terrible, tearing arcane energy begin to pull through its body. It's. It's angry. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That finishes your turn? It does. It's going. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That finishes your turn? It does.

It's going to use its last action. Letting her action to move forward, which this gives your illusion that physical matter. Yeah, she just stays there, like, oh no! Yeah, it falls off a bit. But she's still floating in the air. Five, 10, 15. You're mean.

Oh no, another statue! No! Aunt Janice. What if you knew that one? That's entirely possible. We'll never know. I watched you run and was like, oh well. Oh no. Maybe we can still find their face,

like Ariel with Prince Eric. That doesn't work. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Eric. And then bring them back to horrific life. All right. Caduceus. Oh, Eric. And then bring them back to horrific life. All right. Caduceus, you're up. Why am I just a face?

Am I within 30 feet of that? You are, it's just within 30 feet of you now. I'm going to do the same thing I did last time. I'm going to... Channel divinity again? Channel divinity again, and then I'm going to pull back behind the tree. Over here? Yeah.

All righty, there you go. Finishes Caduceus' turn? Yep. Okay. At the end of your turn. It's actually going to back up a bit. Whoa! Oh my god. After it moves forward, it smashes through the one statue, it looks at you. It's going to rush towards you.

Ooh! Get out the way! That's a 21 to hit. That hits. All right. I need you to make a strength saving throw. Okay, not with advantage, right? I don strength saving throw. Okay, not with advantage, right? I don't think so.

Yeah, still with advantage, because of Battlecry. You do, yeah. Yeah. Seven. You are knocked for a win. Four and a five. Oh no. Oh no. Sorry, that is 28 points of piercing damage. Cool, cool, cool.

Here, let me roll a d8. It takes, aye! No, six points of radiation. Six points of radiation. And as a bonus action, it's going to go ahead and now rear up onto its tine links. Four points, right? Yeah. And come down with its hooves on top of you. Because you are prone, it has advantage on that attack.

28. Natural 20. That had advantage has advantage on that attack. 28. Natural 20. That had advantage. Suck a lot. Nope, nope, nope. Can't do anything about that. So on the hoof action. Oh boy.

It's okay, it's okay. Okay, that is... 34 points of bludgeoning damage as its hooves come down and slam into your chest. You guys see water and wet red earth splatter out as it puts the force of its body down onto Fjord's chest. So it knocks me unconscious, but my relentless endurance will

So you're back to one hit point. Yep, to one hit point. That's true. Okay. That's true, okay. Oh, and I also get to see if it gets its, ooh, yeah, gets its petrifying breath back, okay. Okay. That's true, okay. Oh, and I also get to see if it gets its, ooh, yeah, gets its Petrifying Breath back, okay. Fuck. All righty, that ends its turn.

Yasha, you're up, Beau, you're on deck. I'm so far away from him. All right, I'll just take my whole turn. Dash into her mind. What's the other turn? It takes a whopping six points of radio damage. 10, 15, 20, 25. 30, right there, you mean?

Oh, I guess I get there? You do, but it takes your full action to get there. Yeah, okay. Wait, how many points? Far, you got it. Far. No, it all adds up, man. It's hurt.

Yeah, you can go more. Yep, that's my turn. Oh no. Okay. That's all I can do. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. We need some throwing stars. Actually, can I go a little further to Fjord or no? You'd be able to, let's see, you were right, Carter.

You have Fjord, you can't get quite to Fjord. So I can't touch him? We used his turn. You can't get quite to Fjord. So I can't touch him? Not yet, no. Okay. And even then, it would take an action to do your thing. Yeah, oh yeah, what am I thinking? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Beauregard, you're up, Nott, you're on deck.

All right. I'm going to run and I'm going to Step of the Wind. Okay. As my bonus to dash. I'm on the Step of the Wind. Okay. As my bonus to dash. I'm on a tip of the wind. The tree's in the wind. Tay in the wind. Got me right.

All right, where are you going? I will... Well, I... Sorry, we evoked now. I'm like a wave. It's really amazing. Wow. Okay, you can pretty much go anywhere you want to with Step of the wave. I'm like a. Really amazing. Wow. Okay, you can pretty much go anywhere you want to with Step of the Wind. Right, because I have 100 feet.

Am I able to flank Yasha? Unfortunately, that's where Fjord is. I can't straddle Fjord and fight over his legs? Oh god. Just kill him. I'll stand on his chest, I don't care. Can I do that? I will say no, he's occupying it.

My face is in the surf. What are you, fucking crazy? You'll be fine. Whoa! Turn over! Oh, you can breathe it anyway. Oh, that's true. Oh, okay.

I am going to, after seeing Jester's duplicate get flown off, I'm going to flip forward and I'm going to jump on top of him. I'm going to have after seeing Jester's duplicate get flown off, I'm going to flip forward and I'm going to jump on top of him. I'm going to have a saddle ranch moment. And I'm going to just start right behind. Make an athletics check. An athletic, not an athletic. See if you can hold on to it as you leap onto its back.

Do I have advantage or anything, or no? What? Natural 20. Yes, you do. You run, leap in the air, vaulting off of the back of its hindquarters, land onto it, grab on. There's two of these large spines that stick out of the back of its armor,

and you just grab one, and you're holding this, just trying to buck you off, and you got this. I use my reaction to write 10 on a piece of paper and hold it up on the rock. 10 seconds, 10 seconds. It's a good night at the ranch, you guys. I've had one daiquiri, but not enough to like, just enough to fill.

And then I, no it does not. And I'm just going to go for right at that plate behind his neck. Go for it. Like where the picadors? I'm not having advantage, no, just a single attack. Okay, okay, do I have a Bless still? Mm-hmm.

Okay, so for this 14. But you hit the, you got the natural 20, right, or? That was for the, to hold on. We just hit it. 26. To hit, all right. Yep, and 28.

Yeah, 28 to hit. All right, cool, so the first hit is how much damage? Oh, is this going to be bad? It's fine. It's fine. So the first hit is how much damage? It's doubled because Caduceus used that ability on it last. Damage is doubled? Yeah.

I'm going to do it. Good night at the ranch. That's what happens when you go to the center. An 11 is a bad night at the ranch. That's what happens when you go to the center. An 11 is a bad night at the ranch. 22 points of damage, all right. Fjord, you take eight points of poison damage. Look at the cautious again. Roll damage for the next attack.

Hey-ho! I think that is a two. And one point, yeah, that's eight points of damage. I think that is a two. That's eight points of damage. Eight points of damage. Yeah. Fjord, you take 12 points of poison damage. It's one failed death saving throw.

I think it's two because I'm unconscious. Well, no, it's a critical attack that gives you two death saves. So it's just a one. You have your bonus action. Good times. Realizing that my friend is unconscious and drowning. Oh, and Yasha, you also took 12 points.

Yeah, yeah. And eight points. So you check with a total of 20 points of poison damage. With a moment of clarity of seeing Fjord just lap in the waves, I'm going to stop and get off the pool. and that's my turn. Yep, just like in Night of the Rat. Just like that. Started so well,

and you realize your friend died, and you have to get off the bull. Which way are you getting off, this way or this way? That way's good, yeah, not in the water. Okay. Caleb! You fucked your friend, and you had to get off a lot. Oh shit! Oh no.

Oh fuck! My boyfriend was hearing everything! Okay, that finishes your turn. At the end of your turn, it's going to use one of its return legendary actions. You got a healing arrow, right? No. Right? Sure. Should be with a total annual time healing arrow, right? Sure.

Should be with a first aid. 15, 20? That's bad. Nott, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck. Nott, you're up? Oh, great. Oh, oh, oh, he's coming for you. Do I still have advantage? No. No, advantage is over. Damn.

It's been over since Yasha's turn. Sorry, boo. I'll just keep shooting. I'll lower 20 feet and take a shot. Are you going to go back up 20 feet? No, lower. I want to be 20 feet off the ground so that I can get to the ground on a single turn

if I have to. Okay, there you go. I will do a long-range shot. Go for it. With an explosive arrow. Sure. Do I still have less? You still have less. Okay, 23 to hit. That hits.

Great. That'll be 10 plus, what's the explosive arrow again? Let me look. I only have two of these. I was like, yeah, jump on it. Where is it? Did I write it down? I'm looking. How much would you have made my explosive bolt add?

It'll be an additional 2d6 fire damage. 2d6. An extra seven points of damage. Got it, nice. All right, you have a bonus action still. Oh yes, I will use it to shoot. Reload, fire, terrible, natural one, miss. You take d6 damage. Oh yes.

I finally damaged you this round, you motherfucker! Two points. Two points of your. Fuck! And I'm floating like. The momentum of the hit if you're like. And I'm floating, like. The momentum of the hit gives you, like, gyroscoping. I love it.

All right, now it turns into Caleb, you're up. Fjord, you're on deck. Okay, so Caleb sees all of this mess here and looks quickly down to the left and sees them, doesn't want to be near them, so he's going to slosh out of the water to this. Is that 10 feet of movement to go here? Yes. Okay, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

I'll hide a little bit behind that bush. That bush you got. And slap the cat's cradle down into the dry earth here and send Widogast's Web of Fire specifically at that. All righty. Okay. It's a dex save? That is a dex save. That is a fail. It's going to use Legendary Resistance to succeed.

Here we go. That's a lot of ones. Ooh. Two. Two, that was two. Two, six, 12, 14, 25, 20, 29. 29 points of fire damage reduced by half to 14.

So as you come on the ground, you hit the ground with your hands and watch as all of a sudden these multiple piercing, burning fuses of arcane fire snake through the red ground before they vanish below. There's a pause before it explodes beneath like this giant pillar of fire. It lifts off the ground and lands

and turns in your direction. Oh no. And I lower four inches down into the bush. Okay, you got it. All righty, that brings us to Fjord's turn. I need you to make a death saving throw, buddy. Oh. Here we go. All right.

No problem. Just better than a 10, right? Yep, better than a 10. That's tiny. 10. What's that? Is that? I think it's 10 or above, yeah. So that's a success.

It's nine or lower. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. I am not taking it. Sweating. Yep, yep. Sticking hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sticking hands. All righty.

He's still alive. At the end of Fjord's turn, it's going to go ahead and use another legendary action to go ahead and shift forward. No! Oh no, oh no! Right up to there. Don't gore my wizard! Jester, Caduceus, your turns.

And I gore the wizard. Okay, I am going to have my duplicate step forward and cast Toll the Dead so a giant bell is going to appear over him and just ring his bell. He's made of metal, so I'm hoping it'll hurt extra, extra bad, and it's a wisdom save. Wisdom save, it's a failure.

That's 3d12, because he's already taken some damage. And that'll do. That's 3d12, because he's already taken some damage. Ooh, 12 plus eight is 20, plus 11! Holy moly. That's 31 points. Not bad, yeah. That's amazing. Fucking tall to dig. Good cancer when it hits, man.

All right, and then I'm going to Fuck! At third level, I'm going, my person, actual Jester, is going to shoot her hand over and look at Fjord and say, Get up, man. And she's going to cast Healing Word. You got it. The third time.

In the whole campaign. That's third level, so that's three, four. Wow. Ooh, that was crazy, wasn't it? It was. Five, eight, plus five. Any is good. Nine.

Five, eight, plus five? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Eight plus five. 13, I'll take it. There you go. All right, to finish this, Jester's go, Caduceus, you're up. Wow, that changed things.

So I'm going to start heading back up that way a bit. Whereabouts? Heading in that direction, it's 30 feet, and while I'm rocking, I'm going to cast Blight on this thing. There? Whereabouts? Oh no, straight towards the bowl. All right, cool, right there? Yeah, as far as I can get.

See that? There's as far as you can get. And while I'm running, I'm going to cast Blight on the bull. On the bull? All righty. So that's a, what is that, that's a? You give it mad cow disease? Yep. Constitution saving throw?

Mm-hmm. That is a 17, 18. Fuck. Okay, so it takes half damage, I think? Yeah. All right, and that's how many dice is that one? 8d8. 8d8?

Yeah, Blades is no joke, man. Fuck. So I'll just do this twice. I'll just, or I'll do it twice. Oh my god, that's terrible. Yeah. Eight, 10, 13. Ooh, this guy is pretty good.

13, 16, 19. 23 points of damage. 23 points of damage halved. 23 points of damage halved? 11, 12? Well? 11, 12? 12. 11, 12? There we go. 11 points of knockdown damage.

Parts of it exposed, flesh withering. You see it take the impact. It's angry. It's still alive. Before, it was nothing. No, it's been angry. Okay. Oh no. All right, it's been angry. Okay. Oh no.

All right, so finish your turn. That's all I can do, is just as long as I moved as far that way as I could, so. He doesn't like this. Okay. All right, since you moved, it comes right in front of you, hails up and takes the impact of Blight, looks back at you, hears Jester shout back at Fjord

and Fjord starts getting up and turns around. What? What? Yes. He's that vengeful? Well, yeah, you had two targets and one of them went away. I mean, more useful for him to go. Oh, can I get a spell attack of opportunity?

You do. Yeah. Yeah. I will just hit him with another. Another point, actually. With that given the point, because I thought you could do that, he'll use his last legendary action at the end of Caduceus' turn to shift out of that space without giving him the attack of opportunity.

What? I can't trick you with stuff? I give you guys leeway all the time and shit like that. True, true, true, true. True says never. Okay. I'll take mine. All right, and so we'll go ahead and move in right in that space where the three of you are in that statue.

Oh no. Oh no. And unleash a blast. I think you got this, Fjord. I'll just shove my head in the sand underwater. I need Yasha, Beauregard and Caduceus, oh, sorry, and Fjord to go ahead and make constitution saving throws, please.

And Beau has a d4 for this. You still blaze? Constitution saves? Correct. 16. 16, nice. 25. Woo! Nice. 12. 12, okay. You both succeed, because everyone rolls

really fucking high on the things I want to try and do. Beauregard does not. Beauregard is restrained once again. No, Beau. Wow. Did we lose this? Does that cause any damage, or? Nope. It just restrains her. Restrain for now and then. You guys have some fucking luck on your side,

I swear to god. I feel like it. You get some good tactics and some luck. All righty, that brings us to, gets his legendary actions back. End of his turn. Yasha, you're up. Okay, I'm going to attack.

Okay. Okay. 26. 26 hits. Okay. First attack. I'm shaking. Kill him! Wait, I'm going to roll it again. Savage attack. You can do that. 10. That's better.

15, 18. 28 points of damage for the first hit. 28? Yeah. Nice! Yeah, still good? Yeah, still standing. Okay. Fuck. Come on.

I can't count right now. 21. 21 hits. Yes, okay. Roll again. That's better. Six, okay. Roll again. That's better. Six, eight, uh, uh, eight. Nine, 10, 11, 12, 13. 14 points of damage.

14 points of damage, all right. Still going. All right, so you swing twice across it. You can see one of its eyes is starting to close a bit on one side. Oh, come on. You're getting rough, you're getting rough. You do take seven points of poison damage and 11 points of poison damage.

18. Both of those strikes. Ooh. All right, end of your turn. Hey, if we're still alive after this, let's go to sleep. As a bonus action, I'm going to If we can. Healing Hands on myself.

Is it a bonus action or is it an action? No, it's not. I am lying. I'm not doing that. Sorry. I'm not doing anything. I'm standing there looking at the bowl. End of your turn, it's going to use a legendary action to do a hoove attack on you. Okay. No.

Okay. 18 to hit, is that it? Yeah. Okay. Might have damage that it? Yeah. Okay. Might have damage if it's bludgeoning. So... 20 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to 10 because you're raging. Yep. All righty.

That finishes its turn. Beauregard, you're up. You are restrained, so you cannot move. Am I within 20 feet of him? You are within 20 feet, yeah. All right, I shouldn't do this, but maybe we'll sleep. I'm going to Attack four.

Punch the waves beneath me as my feet are starting to become fused with the sand, and I'm going to use that kinetic energy of the wave to ignite my fists, my lightning gloves. Awesome. Is it a bonus action to trigger those? Or is it a... It's... It's...

Been one week. At the start of your turn, you can channel atmospheric electric energy. You got it, all right, you got it. To extend my reach for one minute. So that's what I am doing. right, you got it. To extend my reach for one minute. So that's what I am doing. Okay, go for it. Pop pop. Belt.

Natural 20. Yeah! Nice! Am I still blessed? I don't know if it matters because it's 23. Plus 27. Yeah. Okay. You're really fuckers. I think, do I?

I got to get real creative with talking to you guys over in the future. Yeah, I do. This is slain the damage. This does not feel good, and I feel like bad things are already happening. No, I'm learning with each progressive battle. My face is in the ocean.

First and second attack damage. That's good. 12. 12, okay. And then 11. Does one of those doubled? With the critical, was the first one? Oh, yes, 12, 20, so 18.

18 on the first hit, okay. And then 11. Okay. Okay, so both those impacts, it's still standing. No, you don't. Okay. We're not going to get a how do you want to do this?

How do you go? I'll do it every night. Flurry of Blows! MATT and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA You do not take a force of damage because she's hitting it with lightning damage, technically, right? It is lightning damage. Yes, it's lightning instead of bludgeoning. Which I should have done this whole time

if I would have known. Well, that's how you figure it out. Pop pop. Oh, by the way, I'm sorry. You also have disadvantage on all these attacks because you are restrained. I forgot about that. So that 20. So that 20, what was that first roll?

Was it 20 and, so the first roll still hit. This is technically your second hit. Can't forget that. But you should re-roll them because you're going to. All right, all right. Actually, that was the cock one, so it should be that one. A single roll, right? Well, the first two she rolled were like,

it was like the first two hit, which means I'll count that as one hit. So it would have been the first damage, it would have been 11, so. Damage. And then this one would be, you said disadvantage? Yes. So it's 21 total? Hits.

So roll damage for the second hit. Almost forgot, for Restrain, puts you at disadvantage with a 10. When does she get to roll to break the Restrain? At the end of her turn. Okay. 11 again, wait, six plus seven is 12. All right. 13.

13? All right, and you have your Intimidating Flurry of Blows. Huh? Flurry of Blows. All right, that's the first one, so that's 13. Well, no, those are your first two attacks. Oh, those are my first two attacks. Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, the retroactive. Second one, so that's 13. No, those are your first two attacks. Oh, those are my first two attacks. Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, the retroactive. Second one, pop pop.

Okay. Well, I'm going to take that eight. 21. 21 hits. I'm just going to do damage, so I don't get confused-ed. 13 again, seven plus six. All righty. Good, good. And last attack. God, jeez!

And then one last attack. Jesus Christ. What are these punches? They're lightning punches. I don't think that's going to make it. 17. 17 misses. Okay. Okay. You should make a constitution saving throw for me.

Beauregard. With a d4. I feel like that one really is. Is that Megan's? Wow. Is that cocked? No. It was a journey. It don't matter. It's a natural one. Oh!

No! What happened? What happened? I've got to be a statue, right? Is she petrified? Am I petrified? Petrified! No! Oh my god, we become petrified? Am I petrified? Petrified! Yes! Oh my god, we become petrified and then he breaks us. He gores us and we're dead to him.

That's it. Mm-hmm. Can you stand it? Yep. Don't you get me, Matthew Mercer! Oh man, oh man, shit just got fucking rich. I wonder if I would've fucking killed it. That finishes Beau's turn. It's going to use... I'm not missed.

It's going to use another legendary action to move back. Move back. Bitch, I'm a cow. Bitch, I'm a cow. To about, we'll say there, starting to gauge its Does he realize that Jester Duplicate is an illusion?

I don't know. Okay. We'll see. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Oh man. All righty, so at the end of that, it comes to Nott's turn. That was such a journey.

It says, with levitate, if you are, you can change the target's altitude by up to 20 feet. If you are the target, you can move up or down as part of your move. Correct. Does that mean it's my movement to move? Yeah, it's your speed. So you can go 20 feet down, 20 feet up. Hmm.

But it's not fly, you can't move. No, no, no. How far am I from Beauregard? From Beauregard, you are about 40, 45 feet. How far is Mage Hand? Well, she's not going to die this round. Mm. It's only a few moves before I can go in.

I can go in. Okay. But if you use this magic, there is no way. I was also going to say, can you move far enough to move this round? Bitch, I got a duplicate. She can move really fucking far. Oh, fair.

Okay, is it engaged with anyone? No. I was going to say, I don't know this shit. It's not engaged with anyone. I wouldn't get an advantage. No, it is not. I can see a ring. Fucking shit.

This is tricky. Tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. Good boy. This is a puzzle. Got to get over there, but I don't think I can make it in time to really help. But maybe it'll be dead before then. Kill it! Just try to kill it!

It's got to be close. All right, let me shoot it. I'll just shoot it. It's really hurt. Got to be close. I'm so mad I didn't get that last me shoot it. I'll just shoot it. It's really hurt. Got to be close. I'm so mad I didn't get that last hit. Okay, I'll just shoot it once. Add the d4.

With the d4. That's 23 to hit. 23 hits. It's just a single thing. Come on, come on, come on. Eight points of damage. Eight points of damage, all righty. Oh god.

Not enough. Not enough. Do it again, do it again. Not enough. All right, I'll shoot it again. Okay. I guess. Yeah, so that'll hit with 25.

25 hits, roll damage. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage, all right. Oh god. You guys are rolling continuously high tonight to a point where it's spooky and frustrating for me. Oh! It's good to know.

Yeah, I'm glad it's just a one-sided table thing. We feel totally calm. And I guess I will shit. You're going to shit. I guess I will shit. You're going to shit. I guess I will one, two. And it falls over there. If I just dropped levitation, I would fall 20 feet. You would, yes.

And probably be prone? Unless you manage to catch yourself. But could I drop it and also run my movement? It's possible. But if you are not prone, it's half your movement. Yeah, and I would take some damage. Yep. What's 20 feet drop? Well, let's try it. I'm going to drop.

Okay. Roll an acrobatics check. With a d4, ridiculously. I think, yeah, no, actually, no, it's never mind, no d4. 14 plus. Acrobatics. Oh yeah, 23. 23, yeah, you're fine. You still take damage as you fall.

You take nine points of bludgeoning damage as the body just cracks into you as you land. You also landed on a rock under the sand. That gets you. You wear your kneecap, you're like, oh! Yeah. And then I will use my movement to run around the bull towards Beau.

It does extra damage because you're expecting sand. You know? 30, 35. 35. 35, yeah. All right. That's it, that's it. All right. That brings us, at the end of your turn,

it's going to be this last final legendary action to go ahead and... Yeah, fucking hates this cleric shit. I've hit it once. Oops. I hate bliss. I know. It's such bullshit. Two clerics in the party, it's such bullshit.

What a stain! All right, Caleb, you're up. Okay, I go scrabbling up that little mound there, trying to get its attention, shouting, You cow! Arschloch! And I will slap the cat's cradle down, no, I'll go to the top.

Oh, to the very top over here? Yeah, and I will slap the cat's Cradle down, no, I'll go to the top. Oh, to the very top over here? Yeah, and I will slap the Cat's Cradle down on the stone and send it again towards the one single target down in front of me. You got it. At fifth level. It's going to take its third legendary save to succeed. 33. 33. Take it to six. No total. 33.

Take it to six. No, need more. Eight. Plus 10, what did I say? 43 total. Plus that 10? Plus 10, yeah. Plus, and I did a fifth level? So 48 total. 48 total? Yeah.

How do you want to do it? Oh my god! I will send the fire burning down the stone into the earth again and let it gather and hold and hold my hands down and then rip the hands up and then from underneath and burn up through the, burn up into the hole that the disintegrate left

and then scorch inside and burn it from within. You watch as it burns up on the inside. The middle of its torso is incinerated in a circular pillar as it bursts through the top. The metal armor plate's bending backward in heated orange. The earth and the sand that gets shot up as part of this explosion suddenly solidifies

into points of glass from the extreme heat and it's caught in midair, dead, pierced by all these shards of immediately solidified glass from the blast. That's how you make a statue. Yeah. And they stake. Well done. What happens to the petrification?

I am immediately going to leap off the rock into the water and run towards Beau. As am I. I am, is this dead? It is very dead. I'm running immediately to my family members. Okay. To Icy. All right.

You rush on over towards, and you see over on that side, what looks to be constant, actually no, with those right there, dragging it over there would be Calliope and Cornelius. Cornelius dragging Calliope. Okay, immediate greater respiration on both of them.

On both of them? Yep. Burning my fifth and sixth. Okay. What are you guys doing? I think Nott and I get to bow around the same time. Right as I'm about to cast Greater Restoration. I whip out my oil, my, what is it called? It's called something.

Beau, Beau! I got it, I got it, don't worry! What do you have? I bought this shit. It's called Will. Beau, Beau! I got it, I got it, don't worry. What is it, what do you have? I bought this shit. It's called Willow Shade Oil, and it un-petrifies people. Beau, let Bucky do it! What part of our body should I rub it on?

Her tattoo, do it on her tattoo, because it's special. Okay, so I'll go around her back, and I just give her a little neck massage with some oil and see if it starts to work. Okay. As you apply the oil, because it has been within one minute of the petrification,

slowly the gray, hardened shape of Beauregard's stone form begins to relax into your hands. You begin to warm until eventually Beauregard begins to return to her normal state. You got a little knot here. On your back. On your back. As you finish casting Greater Restoration,

you can see Cornelius dragging first Calliope backward before you cast it on her. He's like, come on. you can see Cornelius dragging first Calliope backward before you cast it on her. He's like, come on. I have to. What? One moment. Caduceus, what?

I'll explain. And as you touch Calliope, slowly, she begins to return back to her normal self, her arm in mid-swing with what looks to be a heavy mace, and she goes, Son of a! And falls on the ground as Cornelius drops it. Calliope looks up to you and goes,

Gooses. It's been so long. Caduceus? Hi. Are there any other family members here? Flipe stands up. I don't know. I'm going to run around,

look for anybody that looks like Caduceus. Okay, and there's this scattering of people. How's Fjord? I'm going to run over to Fjord, help him up out of the water, and touch him and cast Healing Hands. So you're just going to touch him where? Just his hand.

Just pulling him up out of the water. Cool. Thank you. Tight, tight thing. Not my thing. Crap, buddy. Yeah, so. 11 points of healing. 11? Great.

I'll take it. Thank you. Caleb is going to walk up to the cow and start to examine it, understand what it is, maybe. Okay, make an arcana or history check, your choice. That is a 19. A 19? Yeah. Okay.

Looking at the way it's, like, you acknowledge that this is a form of a gorgon, which is a type of terrible entity, a monstrosity that has had uses throughout the ages as trained guardians of vaults of mages, been known to be some holy sites of some... Some systems of belief would have one of these creatures

possibly that are protected. They've also been weaponized in the past. But this one's heavily twisted, mutated, in ways that remind you of tales of wide corruption that was once utilized by agents of Xhorhas back during the Calamity to the Far East. Nature's denizens were usually found and twisted to assail their homelands and spread destruction

and used as implements of war on the front lines in those age-old times. Does it look like there's anything salvageable or of use on these creatures? That's the way you killed it. All right. But you do notice, the front of its face Is there anything salvageable or of use on this creature's? That's the way you killed it. I know. But you do notice, the front of its face

resembles a classic bull-like head, but it's a bit swollen at the front, and as opposed to a normal jaw, its mouth opens up into two parts like this big scoop shovel, and there's no teeth. Ooh, weird. He eats plankton. Just sucks down krill.

Just all right. Um, Cornelius goes, How did you get here? What happened? I see you managed to deal with that thing right over there. Thank you for that. I assume these are your friends. Hi, I'm Cornelius.

I'm Caduceus's father. And you see this large, older fear ball, similar in appearance to Caduceus, though a bit thicker, a bit portlier, gray hair, braided in two sides down the front. Dangling these little tufts at the bottom that have a bit of jewelry. This is Calliope. It's Caduceus's younger sister.

You see she's wearing a similar chest plate to Caduceus's, actually, the same coloration and design. It's funny, of the two of them, which look very much what you'd assume Caduceus' appearance being what it is, his father, a little more cartoony variation of that, Calliope looks stoic and a badass. She looks up to the rest of you,

holding her mace at her side. It's a pleasure to meet you, Caduceus. Thank you. You were both gone a very long time. It's a pleasure to meet you, Caduceus. Thank you. You were both gone a very long time. I waited, and no one returned. And I know I wasn't supposed to leave, but I left. Is anybody else here? I mean,

I think I, somewhere around here, I saw your mother, and he looks over, and you can see just beyond the tree, one of the standing bodies is indeed Constance. Oh good. Am I near Constance? You're between Jessica and Caleb. Right there.

Yeah, I'm going to run over to her and cast Greater Restoration. Okay. As she, in the middle of her mid-battle form, like, like, Whoa, what? Ooh. I don't know.

Don't worry, you're safe. Just drops her weapon and runs towards Caduceus and gives a huge hug and picks him up a little bit. Mm. And she has this, it's short on the sides, and then has a soft mohawk that braids into a single long braid down the back.

She's wearing these gray travel robes, just a little bit of leather armor underneath. She picks up and says, I'm so happy to see you. I was so worried. I, that thing. Where's Corrin? I came here with Corrin. She turns back and looks in the direction of the

shattered statue that was right at her side. Oh no. You see she takes a couple steps forward. Takes a couple more steps forward. He leans down and picks up one piece that looks like the shoulders and head of the statue, chipped and broken itself, its face recoiling in surprise. Also, if you're bald.

How small are the pieces? I mean, there are probably six or seven larger pieces and a few dozen smaller elements that have been scattered a bit. It wasn't enough of an impact to pulverize. It just nudged and broke it as it went through. It wasn't at a full run, thankfully, but it's a lot of pieces.

If it's not totally awkward, I'm going to try to get the pieces together and try to reassemble the body as best I can. Okay, as you reach down and start doing this, you can see Constance is holding the head, aghast. You feel Caduceus, your father's hand, come onto your shoulder. And in that focused,

or that unfocused state of your mother, Jester begins to sift through and suddenly her eyes catch yours and ah, ah, and she gets down and starts trying to help. I go over and I help as well. Okay, go ahead and make an investigation check, Jester. I'm going to go help. Okay, so do it with advantage, yes.

With advantage. Because Nott is helping. Okay. Okay, okay. I'm just going to scan for it. 19? 19, okay. You pull together what you think is the majority of the stone body. It's too hard to tell at this moment.

Okay. I'm scanning for anybody else. I'm not really moving yet. I'm just looking to see if I see. Make a perception check. I'm going to bless myself, which I don't normally do for this, but I am in that state.

Maybe you can do one piece at a time. I think it'll work to do this. 26. 26? You do not see any other fear bulgs I don't think it'll work to do this. 26. 26. You do not see any other fearbolgs in the vicinity of where you're standing. You do see, out of some of the individuals here, and a lot of them, at a glance,

their arms are broken off. Some of them have already taken a lot of hits over time, whether it be by this creature or just wear and tear for how long they've been in this open space and nature has taken its toll on their stone forms. You do see some figures. One nearby that is an elf that is dressed in very

pious robes and carries what looks to be a symbol of Avandra around their neck, hand-reaching forward like a stop, don't expression, locked in stone. But nobody of your family. So Constance and Cornelius are fine. Calliope's fine. Calliope's fine.

Corrin's been broken. You have not found Clarabelle or Colton? No, no Colton, no Clarabelle. Correct. Just broken Corrin. Okay. I have a brother and sister still somewhere here. Here? Maybe. Was Corrin a sister?

Corrin's my aunt. I start looking at the ones pulverized near me. I'll come check out these. Okay, you got it. Looking at all the bodies, some of them look to be travelers. They're dressed for a long journey. They all appear to be in the midst of either running,

defending themselves, or absolute abject terror. You see some that are dragonborn, you see some that are dwarven, and it's a diverse array here, whether they be pilgrims or adventurers or members of the actual circle here in the cave that you were walking towards. You can't tell right now,

because they're all made of stone. The cave is that direction? Further this direction, yes. Would it be possible, I'm going to try using mending on each individual piece together. Do you have the mending cantrip? Yes. It's as long as the breaker tears no longer

than one foot in any way, but if I'm going one piece at a time using mending, I don't know if that's going to make a difference. A lot of casting. A lot of casting. It's going to take a long time because it takes a minute each time. Yeah. And maybe there is a chunk of glue

just without one piece. Exactly. Yeah, the smaller pieces, maybe try mending on it, and then we also have a glue that covers a square foot. You do. Try to combine. You can certainly try. I will say, with the pieces you found, go ahead and make a medicine check to try and understand where they might land within its body.

This is an understanding of the physical body. Caleb pulls out the pearl and places it on Jester's head and mutters for a while and little patterns. Tap you as I walk by, because I'm going to go to the other broken statue. And I'm there sorting the broken statue. Can you give you guidance? Guidance?

Okay. I'm going to just, and one reroll. Okay. Reroll. Reroll it. I'm just going to grab Calliope and walk to the other statue. That is a, ooh, and a four.

Oh, good. Okay, so that's 29. Jesus Christ, you guys are level 11? We've had some bad luck. There's been some good rolls and then some shit. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. All right, okay. You take a moment to inspect all the pieces of the body

and quickly begin to assemble and jigsaw them where they fit both. I spent a lot of time with puzzles. This is very, apparently, yes, you have. Well, not just that, but studying physiology in the prisons where your mother's a work office person. 3D, yeah, is it 3D human body? 3D puzzles with 3D Jigsaw, human body?

There you go. Doing a puzzle at the beach? This is so nice. Technically, best vacation ever. Technically. Please don't break my aunt. You cast Mending as best as you can across the pieces once they're situated in there and they all fit together.

The impact across the chest aside and the waist there, there's a triangular crack where it hit the impact initially, is longer than a foot. Okay. So those parts are not mended. Okay. So you can fit it together, and most of it can clear, but there is still a large rift here

and a large rift here. What if we combine the glue with the mending? What if we put some glue and then mend it to where the glue keeps it together fully, and then I mend it? In like as much as I can. This wouldn't be a mending thing, this would be hoping the glue is enough to do it for you.

Okay. This is the, this is which glue? This is the... I mean, that's the other thing. Not to be cheap with your dead relatives or anything, but this glue is like the most powerful glue in existence. Yeah, I know. This glue is like the most powerful glue in existence. Yeah, I know.

If we could maybe get some regular glue later and try this. I'm so glad I'm not listening to you right now. Yeah, I could save your work for now. And we could take them out of here and wait till we have everything perfect rather than risk it. You're going to shove them in the haversack?

Is that what we're doing? No, no, no, no, no. Caleb starts placing pieces of amber in a circle on the ground and begins to ritually cast Widowgast's Vault of Amber with the statue. Dude, I don't have to finish this, but I can, and they will be safe.

I'm okay. Yeah. That's, yeah, we... Constance, is that all right? I mean, whatever you think is best. Her eyes are still wide. She's still swallowing hard, but she's holding strong. Dad, go talk to Mom, and I'm going to grab.

Yeah, you're right. I'm going to grab Calliope and head over to the other broken one. Okay. You head to the other broken piece in the ground, and you look through it, and this one looks to be maybe mid-20s or so dragonborn. You have no idea the scale,

coloration as it is still stone. They are dressed simply, normal traveler's clothes, the heavy cloak and a sack. They are broken into many pieces. Just going to try and gather them up a bit. I'm going to help him. You know this person? No. Oh.

Can't even plant them. You know this person? No. Oh. Can't even plant them. No, but do you want to keep gathering them? I don't know. Should we? Let's take everybody who's injured to the cave. And whoever's feeling strong, do a walk around and see who else is here.

Calliope. Just let's make sure Mom and Dad go to the cave with Fjord. Just because we're here and there's so many different petrified creatures, I'm going to walk into the water until my head goes under the surface and look. Fjord?

I'm going to look and see if there are any other petrified statue things within view. Okay, make a perception check. Underwater. 10. 10? I'll bet. 10? It's hard to tell. It's clear water. I will say you do see what looks to be a hand

sticking up out of the soot, maybe five feet ahead of you. Out of the soot? Yeah. Like a stone hand doing that. I'll walk over to it. Can I try and clear the silt around the hand? As you clear it away, the arms goes as you realize it's just an arm. That's unfortunate.

Wait, what? What? Oh. I just found a piece of an arm underneath the water. Bring it up if you wouldn't mind. No problem. Okay, so I feel a little guilty. So Caleb, can you give us the pieces back, please? I'm going to try this glue.

Let's wait, we'll wait, we'll wait. Are you sure? I also have an idea. If we can get to Umagorn, or... Uthodurn? His son, what was the son's name? Who reforged the sword for us. Oh, gotcha, I'm sorry, yes.

Did I get his name wrong? No, I think you may have got it right. I missed it. To do what? If we can pour carefully, which is why I suggest him, because he is so skilled, the correct amount of molten silver into the cracks. I can turn them to stone.

She could pour paint into the cracks and turn it to stone. I cannot turn paint to stone. She can turn it to stone. Can you paint in stone? Of course I can paint stone. Hmm, the only thing is, is I can't paint things connected to each other, so. I could connect them with glue.

I think I can just use some glue. Don't make any decisions till we get back, and I'm going to just start walking with Calliope and anyone else who cares to join. I'll follow behind, but give them their space. I have enough. I can do another Greater Restoration if you find somebody. At which point, Cornelius goes,

Well, we were, I was talking with Eramis, one of the keepers here of the Circle. Oh no. And points over and you can see that elf that you noticed earlier with the Evandra symbol. I mean, they're probably pretty helpful. Okay, I'll go over to that person. Okay.

Cornelius walks up next to you and goes like, Oh buddy, I'm so sorry. Pat, pat, pat. Pat, pat, pat, greater restoration on the pet. Wake up now. He watches the elf still in it. Oh. Oh, that's strange.

What is? Oh no. And he looks around at the array. This has gotten worse. I found a hand. Oh, hello. Hello. You must be Stone. I'm Eram! Oh, hello. Hello. You must be Stone.

I'm Eramis Stone, yes. I assume you belong to the Clay family. This is really funny. It's your service. Well, glad it seems more of you have made it. Oh, this is a big mess. Looks over at the creature, now suspended in the shards of glass,

like reddish dark glass spire, piercing out of the ground and holding it aloft, just bleeding slowly on the. Oh, well, that is good news. That is great news. Dude did this? Group effort, yes. But he did the glass part.

That's impressive, truly. What is it? It appears to be some kind of gorgon. I have my theories, but I have a few friends I need to ask questions of. They're back in the cave, if you'd come with me. Are you sure they're in the cave? What year is it?

826? How far away is that from our year? 10 years ago. Like 10 years ago. Oof! They might not be in the cave. A bit of time has passed since then. 200 years. Make a deception check.

17. Don't, don't. 10, 10-ish. See, it's not as bad now, isn't it? Because you thought. She made you feel better. Thank you. You're welcome.

Let's, okay, I'll hold and let's go to the cave. A few more out here. Do you need to see if any of your compatriots are amongst? We check the rest. All right, and as you guys begin to look through, you can see Aramis begins to go to a few faces and be like, mid-ledge, going, don't know them.

Don't know them. Don't know them. Oh goodness me, and then recognizes somebody and goes up and grabs someone's face and goes, this is Dara. You see this really older human woman, maybe in her 70s or so, adorned similarly to Eramis,

and also finds what looks to be another large dragonborn figure that is wearing a heavy piece of armor and is currently with shield in the front trying to pull back. He goes, ah, this is Megatoth. Megatoth. Are they also of the stone?

They are, yes. Yeah. I don't suppose what you've helped us with, you could help them with as well? I can once I sleep. Not today, but. All right. Not today. Well, not today. What about all the other people that are here

that you don't know? We should probably heal them, too. They have lives. I agree. I think Gaima should be able to help. Hopefully they're back in the cave. We can go ahead and talk to him. Do we see any of my other, on the short run around the lake,

do we see any of the other family members? As you continue to walk, you do not see any of your family along the way. Okay, that's fine. I take the dragonborn head from over here that I've been holding around and just chuck it in the ocean. Spoosh.

What was that? In that rock. Oh. Uh-huh. Eventually, you guys crest around the north side of the oasis, making your way towards where the softer red earth turns into hardened red rock. The grass and thick vines

that have grown over the top of it as it almost pierces outward like a shelf over the water, and beneath it, the opening into the cavern that goes darkly into Exandria below. Oh god. As you step into the cold cavern, as it continues downward at the outer edge of the pool,

you can see the bright red rock on the inside become smooth, hand-chiseled, as you progress downward. Further in, as your eyes adjust, you pick up dozens of shifting, beautiful reflections as rich, exposed veins of pure gold wind through the walls and reflect the torchlight that you see Eramis now lighting and holding out to guide you as you head downward,

along with another statue. Another statue. Another statue. Continuing further down, you see the pattern of these veins are like this endless, splintering lightning bolt of shining dawn that's just carved through the rock on all sides and above. It's beautiful. It's contrasted with the horror of seeing more and more

of visitors or the Stone family themselves encased in these moments of terror. So then. Holy shit. We took this guy out and nobody else could. That's pretty impressive, you guys. It's pretty good. Oh. We work well together. You okay there?

Yep. Fjord Stone, you okay? Yep, doing all right. We need to take a rest. Fjord is looking really rough. The hall widens now into a domed oval-shaped cavern of ruddy rock formations splattered with the same gold veins. Numerous small huts and structures of humble stone and dried thatch

mark the perimeter of the inside of this cave. The center of the large base is home to a formidable multi-part shrine of rising pillars, arches, and beautiful temple structures that house the stone family in the interior of the Cave of Remembrance. You can see social spaces for worship and work, and you can see the many denizens, all frozen in stone.

That's where we'll take our break. Oh shit. Oh. This gorgon just ran in and ran around, or do you think something else did it? Well, we'll see, but I have a theory, and my theory is this was a burial that went wrong, but we'll see.

A burial that went wrong? Yeah, a burial that went wrong. They are still there. Mostly regular folk, probably, so you can't handle a big magic bull. Just a theory. That's a lot for one bull. It's a pretty bad one.

It was over a period of time, too. That's true. 10 fucking years. Woo, that'll get you. It's the Flight of the Navigator shit right there. A lot of pilgrims coming in and realizing too late. Fun. Compliance. We'll be back here shortly. We'll pick up the latter half of the session here, guys.

In the meantime, we do have our Wyrmwood giveaway for tonight. The Cherry Dice Vault from our friends at Wyrmwood. Ooh! It's so lovely. You smell it tonight. It looks so nice. Oh, it's beautiful. It is. One lucky winner in the chat will win this piece. Tonight's keyword is Oasis.

Oasis. O-A-S-I-S. Put it into the chatroom once, and only once, more than once, to be disqualified. And once again, giveaway rules for people in the U.S. and Canada only, more than once, we'll be disqualified. And once again, give away rules for people in the U.S. and Canada only, excluding Quebec. And because of stupid laws.

And we'll be back here shortly. We'll see you guys in a little bit. Oh, hey there. Laura Bailey here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories. Our stores are filled with the basics, like character-inspired T-shirts, dice sets, and pins, as well as more specialty items

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Go with the simple, classic Sam. I like it. So, first, we have a winner, as we enter the air break. The winner of our one-word giveaway is Cookie2259. Cookie2259. Cookie2259, congratulations. We'll get that dice vault sent to you ASAP.

I heard. I think it's my first time calling this one. Fine arts. So. Ooh! It's my favorite. It's my favorite. This is a fine art. So. As you all enter the interior of the cave, you look around the faint pieces of glowing crystal that alight the interior. There are pools of water beneath a lot of these

that cause the reflecting shimmer that dances across the cavern walls and catches elements of the gold veins that swirl and swarm throughout the red rock. It's beautiful, it's serene, and it is silent. You can see Eramis looking around, a sorrowful look on his face going, I guess things have indeed changed. Let me see, I might be able to...

I don't know how long things have been, who went when. Do you know how long it's been like this? I don't. How long have your parents been stoned? I don't know. It was... It was quite a while when they first left.

I don't know when you arrived. When did you arrive? When did you? Cornelius goes, I mean, I don't really know how long I've been here either, if we're going to be really honest about it. What year did you get here, do you think? Uh...

That's a really- That's a rough question for us, to be fair. We're not really calendar people. What was the last time you saw them? Constance, what year? And she goes, Well, me and my sister left, I think it would have been

827? Is it before? That was nine years ago. How long did it take you to get here? Quite a few months. Wow. Me and Corrin, and she gets a little soft moment, me and Corrin.

They were the first to leave. We made our way to meet with the Dusts and didn't meet with the dust. And didn't meet with much success there. We thought maybe we would encounter this glass that was asked of us, perhaps it's in this location. But upon arrival, found that this creature had already ravaged the outside of this cave,

and well, then we ran into you. I ran into you. We're going to heal her, okay? We will do what we can. We're... We're stalwart. We'll be fine, whatever happens. Loss is not an unfamiliar concept to our family, but I appreciate you extending your empathy.

I met the dusts. Did you? I'm going to take out the crystals. It's been a long time. You step forward and Cornelia steps forward and they both put their hands under yours and Calliope approaches to look at them, but still has her hand on her side and,

wow, I'm very impressed. Caduceus, this is, I mean, he reaches in his pocket and pulls out all these shards of green glass. He's like, I think I got confused. Me too, a couple times.

Oh. Honestly, I thought Calliope was going to be the one to do it. Calliope reaches in her pocket and pulls out a piece of similar crystal. Oh shit. I would have beaten you, brother, I'm just saying. Would you have?

It would have been very close. Maybe. Did you also get that at the dusts? I did. Good for you. Thank did. Good for you. Thank you. What's your name? Oh, I'm Beauregard. I'm not important. Very well.

I'm Yasha. I'm very important. It's true. Just kidding. Get it. Very well. Fuck you. Savage. Calliope. Very well. Yeah. Fucking savage. Calliope. Calliope Clay. Actually, I don't think we've done a full introduction

of your friends here, if you want to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow. We can do it for you. Everybody, please go ahead. Jester, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Hi, I'm Nott. We've been hanging with your son,

and he's really great. Super, super, super powerful. Nudges Constance by the side, and she gives a knowing look. Yeah, you have raised him well. My name is Caleb Widogast, hello. And Beauregard, you already said, so. Expositor with a Cobalt Reserve.

I have no idea what that means. Yeah, that checks. Sounds really nice, though. Not important, though. Okay. And you are? Fjord Stone. No relation.

Your son has been a great friend. He's totally related. I'm not. It's not. No, this is not. No, but he is a stone. No, I'm not. I think he might be related. Stone Coldfox.

Not stone. Yeah. So wait, you're not stone? I'm not stone. You're not a stone. He is a stone. He is a brave. And I'm not important. Hold on, hold on, hold on. She's not the brave. Third base. Restart.

How has this never happened before? A mild nosebleed appears at the mouth. He was a dust after all. This is a recent child of the Wild Mother as well. And then Erebus steps forward. Interesting, the Wild Mother and your name is Stone? Yes. Yeah, he could have been a child of the Traveler,

but he chose the Wild Mother, so it's got to mean something. There's Stone part. What? Yes. Have you been through here before, then? Here, the Menagerie? No, it's my first time. Same for most of us. But he is from the Menagerie? No, it's my first time. Same for most of us.

But he is from the Menagerie Coast. What, another coincidence? Port Damali, not really, I mean, yes. In the Menagerie Coast, though. He also has memory gaps. Not true. Well, do you remember being born? Oh, if not, he said it's true.

No, I can't write. Well, do you remember being born? Oh, if not, he said it's true. No, I can't write. Cornelius looks over towards you and goes, Aye, you've made some friends. I'm aware, that's a lot. But thank you, thank you all for your. But we killed a thing, and we brought you back from being a statue, so we are something.

That is very true. Yeah. Eramis, what's with the statues? What's with this? He's looking around and he goes, I'm looking to see if I can find Gaima. If she's still here. He walks off towards the large central structure

with the large stone arches where the majority of the refracting, I just need to watch this happen right now. Wow, she made a cupcake sandwich. I don't know that I've seen you do that before. Oh my god, you did. I'm so jealous. That's beautiful. That looks so good. How do you do it without getting the icing

all over your mouth? I didn't know that that was a thing. It's called a Bailey sandwich. That's beautiful. How do you do it without getting the icing all over your mouth? I didn't know that that was a thing. It's such a good idea. It's called a Bailey sandwich. That's cool. It is now. Damn it. It looks so good. This is the D&D you turned in for. Are all of these stones elves?

No, they're a smattering of different races, actually. I'd say, interestingly enough, about a quarter of them are dragonborn. Okay. Wow. And then the others are, do they have tails? You see two with tails and many without. Okay. There are elves, human.

You don't see much in the way of orc or half-orc representation specifically here. You see maybe two dwarves, but it is an eclectic gathering. You can see Eramis, after going into the temple, goes, I think I found her. If any of you can. Not until the morning, but if we sleep.

Oh, wait. No, I used it, I used it. All right, well, we do have beds if you need to rest. Are they made of stone? No, they're made of wood. Oh, okay, cool. If you prefer stone placed in stone. No, I'll take wood. All right, all right.

Do you mean here in this cave? I feel like we're a bit unprotected here. Oh, right. Well, I mean, as far as I know, you destroyed the most significant threat to everything here. That was just the one. That I've seen, at least, yes.

Is that, do you know where it came from? I have my theories. I'd like to ask Gimer for more guidance and specifics, but it's not... Hmm. Our oasis, depending on how much you and your family know of our history, it draws many beasts to come and live and take up the soil

and eat of the interred and the delightful gifts that are granted by the surrounding jungle. A part of this cycle is the warship that we bring between the Wildmother and Evandra. It is an occasional occurrence where entities and creatures are drawn from beyond the Penumbra Range to the Far East, from the Miskath Strand,

a land that in itself is blighted. I believe some call it, refer to it as Blightshore. A very, a very necessary place to avoid, from what I've read. But creatures that come from there don't come in their normal state. It's a place of twisted things. I'm sorry, did you say eat of the interred? Yes.

Dead people, it's a grave, it's a Caduceus thing. But you eat them? We do not eat them, but the animals that come and are part of this oasis eat of the bodies as they are interred and return them to the earth. They poop them out. They poop the bodies out. Yes.

I mean, we've drank dead people tea. Dranken? Dranken. Dranken. Is there another way to say it? As a colloquialism from? Crunk. We've crunked dead people, too. Have you partaken in, perhaps,

a roast or a piece of well-prepared animal meat? Yeah. I'm a vegan. I've roasted Fjord a bunch of times. Is this why you don't eat meat? No. Oh. No, I do eat meat.

Then you yourself are part of this same cycle. We just have many creatures that do it as well, as part of the worship. What of the lake? Could you tell us more about it? The lake, it seems, was placed here long ago, we believe as a beacon from the Wild Mother, and the shrine was built as a connection

between the Wild Mother of Ondra with the essence of the Raven Queen sending the families out to find a place to lay the champion here. We took but one piece of the champion, and with that, the Stone family set this place of worship and begun the cycle of interment. Huh.

This must be very interesting for you and your burgeoning faith. Yeah, it is a bit all of a history lesson. Where's the champion? Oh, the body of the champion? Yeah. Oh, it's long been devoured and cast out into the sands and earth around you by the creatures

who've lived long before us. Long before I did, at least. Yep. Didn't the champion leave any artifacts behind? No. No? Just the body was scattered. Who's the current champion? I have no idea.

It was just a champion. This was a millennia ago. Myth and legend. Is that a self-proclaimed title? I don't know, I'm just asking. Have I not told you this story before? Yeah, the Champions of Dust, Clay, and Stone and all that.

You protect the body of the champion. We don't protect the body. We gave it back. We were tasked, the three families were tasked. Oh, right, and you separated their bodies and then you put them across in other areas. So you are teaching them as you go. Super macabre and kind of fucked up.

That's right, though. Hey, that's mighty judgmental of you. I'm just saying. What would you? That's her. What would we do with you, then? Clivey's like, I kind of like you. When you die, what's to be done with you? I think it really depends on how I go, right?

It's an important question, and something you should think about at an early point in your life, because it comes at you fast. I mean, you don't normally have a choice. Those who are lucky have a choice, though. Right, but if you have a choice early, then aren't you lucky?

Oh my gosh, can you guys bake me into a cupcake or something and then eat me? What? Are you asking us to eat you if you want to? That would probably require the kiln, so it would be up north. We could talk to the Dust family. I'm sure that could be done.

We are surrounded by statues of people. At which point, you hear Constance go, People and statues. I think I found them. All right, I'm. Around the exterior of the shrine, you can see there, one trying to protect the other, the petrified bodies of Colton and Clarabelle,

your elder brother and sister. How do they look? Intact, just petrified. Okay. After we go to sleep, we can bring back, I can bring back three people. I can bring back three people. Okay.

Eramis goes, and we do have a number of individuals of the stone family that probably could take care of this problem over time. We just have to bring them back. Okay. One of which is Gaima, who I've mentioned. We'll bring back Gaima for sure tomorrow.

Yeah, maybe first. Yeah. That he, she, couldn't help with the others. And who is Gaima? Gaima Stone is a partner to Dera and the head of the Guardian of the Shrine. Oh, that sounds important. Also probably Fjord's, like, mom?

Yeah. Is Gaima an orc? No, half giant. That's kind of like. Wow. You're really reaching on this one. I think it's the same. Let's, uh...

We're three feet tall, yeah. Maybe we rest. What time is it? I don't even. It's later in the day. You guys were approaching the oasis in the mid to late afternoon. So at this point, it's probably starting, getting pretty close to dusk.

That's my last question before we, how does your ritual work with the menagerie? What is done with those who are interred here? Well, with the bodies that we have, there is a series of rites that we speak over the body as it's placed within the center of the temple shrine. It is prepared with all sorts of salts and other minerals that begin the process of decomposition,

as well as preserving elements on the surface. It is then, based on this ritual, we take a sign or a vision from either it be the Luck Brear or the Wildmother as to which creatures of the menagerie should be granted the body. Then we find them and we converse, and if it is accepted, then it is given to the creature to be

buried. Here within the cave, or outside the cave? Outside the cave. All right. That's beautiful. Buried? Consumed and then interned. You said this area draws animals from outside.

Is there any way that we might camouflage the entrance to this cave? I only, something we did attracted that gorgon towards us. I would hate to think that more were on the way and that we tried to sleep. I know we may be able to be inside the dome, but. Not all of us. Right.

How large is the entrance of the cave? The entrance is probably about 15 feet tall by 20 feet wide. You don't have to sleep in there. Eramis, is there any other entrances to this cave? Not to the outside. Well, we do have two two relatively disused escapes,

but they just vanish into the jungle. They're sealed, though. Sealed with stone, or? Sealed with metal and key. Oh, actual doors. If we had a watch. We have doors, and you see, Naramis points out to the edges of the chamber, and you can see beyond some of these small buildings

and huts, there are doors, and there are stairs made of the same stone material that blended in. You were so taken in by the structures in the center of the building, in the center of the chamber, and looking at the architecture around it, now that you focus a bit on the outskirts, there is a very intricately carved series

of stairs and shelves and things on the outskirts. You can see, similar to the dust family, though on a much smaller scale, there are other side chambers and rooms. This was, this place could probably house close to 60 or so people. Is there anyone else not petrified? Are we alone?

From what you see right now, you are the only ones unpetrified. Wow. We should go up some stairs and into a chamber, because I don't think fools can climb stairs. I can set up an alarm at the cave entrance. Yes. To start, but only nine of us can fit.

I can sleep outside of the dome. Yeah, you should have Caduceus' family sleep in the dome. Yeah, a few of us can sleep on the outside, or I can find a hut. Kind of excited to find someone's hut. I'm fine sleeping outside, I don't need the dome. I'm fine. That's why. It's kind of invigorating sleeping

in someone else's house. I think that Jester's going to want to sort of arrange the stone bodies into sort of weird and embarrassing positions, so that when they come back to life, they... That's why. Why didn't I think of that? Nott! I just sort of assumed. They break while you're moving.

Yeah, you don't want to. Make a good follower of the Traveler mod. Oh my gosh. That's true. But if you made some sort of weird pile on where the- Take one of her. It's, you know. No take backs. So let's not do that. Yeah. What?

Because if you accidentally drop one, then... We just had this conversation, harmless pranks to potentially lethal, un- And you've killed my sister, and then, you know. That's weird. You know what, draw a dick on somebody, because that is impermanent. And it's a dick.

Yeah, draw a stone dick on one of the statues. They just got one sticking out of their shoulder. I could paint a penis on a shoulder or something, and then when they brought back blood, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really smart, Fjord. They hit it to knock it off, but that just makes it harder. Oh god.

Let's... We've all forgotten. Let's knock somebody's, let's, let's not. Turn somebody into a beholder. Let's maybe not do that, but if you do do it, do it to Colton. Pretty sure that's not how it works. If you do it, don't do it, but if you do it, do it to Colton.

Family and heartbreak, dick statues. If you guys liked it, you could find an evening here to rest and prepare for the next day. Yeah, I honestly don't think we need the dome for once. I think a tripwire on the cave entrance and some distance from that entrance is enough. Agreed. It's a great time.

All of us, yeah. Okay. You guys eventually find some chambers that are relatively empty. You do find a handful of other piles of relatively pulverized rock and dust from individuals that managed to get in the way of this creature when it may be first,

or at some point in which it was rummaging through this cave. Yaramis takes moments to pray and gather what pieces he can. It's a very solemn climb to the end of the night, but also an experience that seems not unfamiliar to an individual, that their purpose, their family is to bring those to a close of their journey.

But you guys go ahead and rest. If there's anything you want to accomplish before the night's over, otherwise we will go into a long rest. I'll meditate a little bit. Wait, before you go into that, this is a lot of god talk. God talk? A lot of god talk here.

It's a bit above. I'm not following most of it. Are you a follower of the Traveler yet? Not yet. I'm curious to see what the meeting's about. Very curious, very curious. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to commit to following that fellow.

I understand your reservation. She has done great things. Oh, yes. With his aid. Yes, he... I have seen him do great work through her as well, but I've also seen you do quite amazing things and without any holy power at all. If you think about it, it's all about scale.

Okay. The Raven Queen, the Wild Mother, the things that you can do and I can do are not as great as what the Wild Mother can do, and this, this other, this ginger elf man thing, he can do things even greater than you and I, this ginger elf man thing. He can do things even greater than you and I, but not as great as the gods reaching into our world.

But, you know, it's just math and scale. And he helps her. He does. I do like him for that. He's a little creepy, but. Well, I mean, if you're really being honest, so is she sometimes. But in the sweetest way.

If I am being honest, she is occasionally creepy. Yeah. But in the best possible way. I've seen her do things with an ax that would make even me blanch, and I am a twisted individual. But, pales in comparison to everything else.

What am I talking about? Where is your head at? Well, I mean, I've been thinking about it quite some, quite a lot, and I must say, seeing Caduceus reunited with his mother was, it was wonderful. It was nice. I'd like that again, for me.

You don't want to be a goblin. I don't. No, no. But what's going on in here has nothing to do with what's out here, you know? So if you turn yourself back to your old you, you know, wherever you are in your journey and your outlook,

the outside is going to have no bearing on it. Yeah, I... You still have to make the same decisions, even if you are back to yourself. Self, what is self? I do think... I do think your physical appearance, it doesn't matter, I mean, it's not everything.

Well, it is a reality, you must admit. Yes, it has an effect on your life. And I don't know how much it's had an effect on mine, but I guess there's only really one way to find out. And if you change back, do you know where you're going to go, home? Or to your family? I think I've decided.

I think I've made a decision. But that's two decisions. I've made the first. I think I'm ready to change back. But what happens afterwards, I won't know until I get there, I think. I support whatever you choose, but I will miss you if you go.

I'll miss all of you if I go. I'll miss you most of all. Our time together has been so dangerous and deadly and incredible, and it's been wonderful saving your life again and again. I appreciate it. I know you're going to use your life to do godlike things,

and I hope I'm there to see it. Can I admit something to you? Go ahead. It is a blessing to have family again. I mean that in the realest sense of the word, it has been a blessing to me, and I am so grateful for your presence next to me on the road. I feel the same.

I don't know what what our family is. Work in progress, Fafnir. Yeah, you're not my... Well, the baby steps, I suppose. Sometimes words ruin it. And I don't want to make anybody shovel 50 pounds of clay while we're here, so.

Soon. Soon? Soon. And you'll be there for it? I will absolutely be there for it. All right. Well, maybe for the last time, good night, Caleb. Good night, Nott, the Brave. Oh.

You two still up? So much going on, Caduceus. I'm still up. Hi. Jester. I got a thing I need to do. Ignore anything you hear in the next five minutes, it's fine. What are you doing? It's just a thing.

What are you doing? Why don't you just tell us? You're going to do it in front of us. Nope, I'm going to wander off and find Calliope. Jester. What? We have a rare gift upon us right now. In what way?

An empty town with a bunch of unlocked doors. In no consequences. Oh my god. We could get into every single one of these huts. You can learn so much about people. Uh-huh. I can put dildos over everybody's bed. Yep.

We should do it. It's going to be a great night. Canon. But, but, we do need to get some rest, because I do have to do some major healing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just wake up in hours. Okay, yeah, I know.

You think anyone else wants to come? Maybe not. Yeah. Maybe Yasha? Okay. Maybe Fjord. I feel like Fjord's going to say no, but we can ask him.

Just don't let him talk us out of it. No. He's really good. He's really noble. Yeah, okay. Should we not ask him? Is he going to be a buzzkill? We should ask him. Okay, okay, okay. Let's just ask everybody.

I mean, that's everybody, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone who's not preoccupied. Yeah. Anyone want to go in a bunch of huts? Huh? What? Hey, you asleep? Clearly not preoccupied. Yeah. Anyone want to go in a bunch of huts? Huh, what? Hey, you asleep? Clearly not, no.

Hey. What, what, you just said hey. Empty town, man, empty town. All us, it's like time has frozen. Haven't you ever had this fantasy, dude? The people are frozen, go on. But, like, think about it. We've got the stars.

No one, come on. You want to go for a walk? I'm still totally foggy on what the fuck you're talking about. Oh my god, I have a really good idea. Why, why, why? What if, over every single door, we put a water pail, and so as soon as they come back

and they go back to get into their house, yeah, they get everybody. Flam out! Are you talking about sabotaging the homes of these frozen, petrified people? No, we're talking about going for a walk. That doesn't sound at all what Jester's talking about. But it's not like it's going to hurt them,

it's just going to cover them with water. And maybe get a bruise, or split their forehead. Yeah, it's no big deal. So the first time they go home in potentially 10 years. They won't know it's been 10 years, it's not going to feel like 10 years for them. It's like they're going to go home, it's all. And didn't you hear Eramis say,

don't keep track of calendars, it doesn't matter. Somehow responsible for that. Sure, let's do it. Okay, get up! Yasha! Caleb! What? Let's go! I am curious about people's homes. Chaos group! Chaos group!

Yay, temple defiling. Oh no. I'm going to try to find some pine cones or large nuts from a fruit tree or something, and I'm going to try to put a pine cone in everybody's hand who's frozen, just so when they all wake up, they'll be like, what the fuck am I holding a pine cone in my hand for?

That's really good. Yeah, that's good. Oh my god, that's so good! I don't want to put them through any more pain than they're already going through. I'm not going to participate. Yeah, okay, okay. In the meantime.

I'm going to, like...'m not going to participate. Yeah, okay, okay. In the meantime. I'm going to, like. How long, how long? Set a time limit, because I'm really fucking broke. Just like one hour. One hour we're coming home. Street lamps come on, you're back home. Like one-ish hours. Sun down. One-ish.

You know, if we get caught up in something, you know, maybe it'll distract us. But roughly 60-ish minutes. Yeah. Maybe 90 minutes. And then I'm going to pick one guy to have a sack of pine cones. This is how weird bank holidays get started. Yep.

All righty. So while you guys are having this conversation. I'm going to take everyone's mail, and I just want to steal some, but also rearrange others. Got it. Yeah. Cool. We'll get to all this after we finish Caduceus' scene.

Blow your Mauritius to showing up this thing. The person is actually very heavily focused. No, it's okay, it's okay. I appreciate this. It's going to make this weirder. I know, and we'll come back to it. Very quietly, I want to see if, I'm very gently going to try and find where Calliope is sleeping

and just to see if she's asleep, which very quietly. You go and walk across the area, keeping an eye out, and you pass by the exterior of the central temple structure, and you see a figure sitting on the edge of the water. You look closely, and you can tell from this distance,

which isn't too far, and with the glow from the water, the temple base water itself appears to be Kalai be sitting along the edge, toes dipped into the pool, just looking into it. As quietly as I can. I'm going to very, very gently, quietly walk up to her without disturbing her. Okay. You approach and you can see she's sitting there

just holding this single crystal in her hand, and she's looking at the water and looking at the crystal, looking at the structure above her, sighs very heavily. There's no one else around? At the moment, no, other than no one who's not petrified, at least. I very quietly, so slowly,

get as close as I can, and remove the bone flute from my pocket. Roll a stealth check for me, Caduceus. I'm so proud of you. I've been waiting so long for this. The dice decides. 19. Move.

You're not the most quiet individual in your life. You've tried at times, and with distraction, you've been helpful. And in this moment, this soft smile of the Wild Mother looks upon you. As your feet touch soft red earth, just enough carried on the bottom that when you touch the stone of the interior of the temple, nary a sound is made,

and Calliope is none the wiser of your presence as you approach, but a foot and a half behind her, she sits there, her toe curling in the water. You can hear her. She begins to whisper a silent prayer. She just falls into the pool of the tentacles. I don't think she drops the crystal. Oh yeah, no, the crystal goes in.

She immediately goes like. Caduceus! She takes the crystal that fell in the water and throws it at you. I run. She gets out of the pool and she chases you. I got you something. I'll stop at the front of the cave

because I definitely know she cannot run. Okay. Make an athletics check. Oh boy. Oh, my favorite. Nine. Nope, she knocks your ass to the ground. She full-on, like, tackle charges you.

You fall on the ground, you both tumble a bit. You fall onto your back and she stands up and puts her foot on your chest, wet, just her hair soaked down in front of her, her face going. I've been carrying that thing for so long. I was going to thank you. Was. You would have enjoyed that.

It's coming back to you. It's all coming back to you. We'll see. I hold it up. The crystal? No, I hold up, I actually hold up the Bone Flute. Oh, the Bone Flute? She takes it.

Where the hell did you get this? All around. It's mine now. Until you earn it back. Be a shame if something happens to Colton tomorrow. And I start to get up, pick up the crystal. Just saying. Make a strength saving throw. Ooh.

I'm going to do it. 12. 12. She sweeps your legs out from under you and you fall right to the ground again. This is going to hit your hip and you're like, oh! Oh man, I've missed you. She reaches down and puts her hand out and picks you up.

I missed you, too. Hug. She gives you a hug back, not a side hug, but gives into it. You're such a you. I think I've gotten weirder. That's not even possible. I know, right?

What have your friends done to you? They're very strange, especially the blue one. Well, maybe some family time will do you good. Oh. Actually, you were right about a lot of things. I've been out there, I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot.

I don't entirely know who I am anymore. This has passed however long. Leaving home changes you. Yeah, I know. I'm surprised it took you long enough to step out for a bit. I wasn't going to be the one. I was supposed to stay so that the rest of you could leave. I'm glad that you overcame your need to stay

and got a little stir crazy. I may not be done. I don't know what to tell Mom and Dad yet. She stops for a second and looks at your hand where you're holding the crystal. You can see the crystal itself, the exact same coloration, that deepish purple color,

as to the ones that you had formulated within the fires of Kravaraad, within the kiln. At the edges of it, you can see these little spikes protruding, just ever so slightly, almost like little tack points pushing out in four or five different places. She takes it and looks at it,

looks back at the temple, and she starts walking back to the fallen center of the temple. She starts walking back to the fallen center of the structure. They both walk up to the edge of the water, herself still dripping and leaving this trail to the edge of the pool. She holds it and throws it back into the water. You see it slowly sink to the bottom.

That odd, undulating glow shifting back and forth from the structure around it. It's lit from underneath by the stone build and whatever enchantment holds the bottom of the temple pool floor. From those points, they seem to continue to extend. As these long, thin, crooked, almost pseudopod-like extensions

begin to grow out of them like roots, like a potato that's been left in a pantry too long and begins to just expand. You begin to recall elements, the visions that you had of these crystals taking root, eventually at their final destination. She goes, I feel like I remember something like that.

Me too. You said you found some of these? Yeah. Here, you think? I mean, you throw the handful of crystals that you had refined, and as they all slowly settle down, you watch as one by one, they all begin to expand in the same way.

These points jutting out, another slower, almost like branches beginning to grow from the crystal. They become these odd, small hearts with veins extruding to find points. It's very, very odd, but weirdly beautiful, and they extend just a little ways out from what was once a thin crystal

to no further than that, and they stop. Like partially germinated seeds. It's time to take them home. I guess so. I don't know if I can go home yet. I owe such a debt, and I don't... I don't know if... I don't know if I'm ready to plant.

Well, uh. Soon. You could always keep them on you when you come back and you're ready. Just don't take too long. I mean, we... I was going to send them with you, but... With me? Are you going home?

If you're not, someone has to. I got to protect the rest of these knuckleheads, and she points over her shoulder. Maybe talk about it in the morning, but I'd appreciate it. I don't know how to talk to Mom and Dad yet. Edgarn, I mean, Corrin. Corrin would. And Garn might not be in. Corrin would be a help, but we'll see.

Well, hopefully in the morning. But if you want me to take these back and we can plant them in your stead, hopefully you'll come home to a safer homestead. Then you can leave. Yeah. You've wanted it longer than I have.

Get some sleep. Well, someone's got to pull this out first, then she pushes you into the pool. Just. And watches over. So pick them up. I put all three up on the ledge. I make a grab for the hand.

Go ahead and make a, this would be... Dex? We'll say you grab her, this is a strength check to see if you can manage to over pull, so. Okay, I would have been thinking about it, so here we go. Oh! Nope. Ooh. You grab her, her hand slips out

and she puts her foot forward, not painfully, but just pushes into your face, and much like the Santa Claus and Christmas story, just slowly pushes you back into the pool. I'm looking up. I bob back up. Later, then. You still have matter breathing.

It's gone now. It lasted for 24 hours. She grabs the crystals and puts them into the satchel and turns around and leaves. I'm going to soggy my way back to this place. Float to the bottom like Beaumar in Rushmore. Yeah. As you walk past, you can't help but,

being the high perception caduceus you are, watch as a faint, almost Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies track of music echoes to the cavern as the rest of your group begins to just dart from hut to hut to hut, exploring the weirdly disturbing ghost town of this cave as everyone is still stoned and locked in various phases of fear or anger

as you begin to peruse their personal belongings. What are you doing, guys? What are you doing? I'm going to rearrange the furniture. Sure, yeah. So I'm thinking like a couch. Come on, it's harmless. A couch in the kitchen, and then put the dining room chairs and table

in the bedroom. Rearranging. Can we stack them in weird ways? Yes. Poltergeist shit. Yep, I like it. No human would stack chairs like this. A caveat, Caleb didn't go. He's doing something utility back with Caduceus' stone family.

You got it. You got it. Utilities. I'm just going to... I'm going to look for underwear. Are you all defiling the petrified temple of the Wild Mother right now? It's not temples, it's their huts!

We're just doing the houses. These beds that people definitely masturbate in are not fucking temples. They're cloisters in the Temple of the Wild. What's a cloister? It's a place where you masturbate. Not arguing with that. Nope, not arguing with that.

So it's okay, then? I feel like at least if we watch, then it's sanctioned or something. I'm disappointed the least in you. Thank you. I walk back to the desk. I pass Jester a bottle of wine. Where did you find that? I swiped it from my parents, obviously. Would you want me to do that?

You drink from it. Oh, Beau, that's really sweet of you. I like to prank completely sober, though, so I don't let it go too far. Yeah. Your body is a temple. My body is a temple. Nott? Your body is a temple. My body is a temple. Nott? Your body is a cloister.

Yeah, I was thinking it was just about. I better obtain. I better obtain. You're going to obtain. Oh! Yeah! Oh, wow! That is a tax return. That is a joke. Wow. That's a good one.

He's like joking. I said it to the audience. Wow! Only eight people know what that means. I knew that was good. You see? Woo! Marisha doesn't know how to spell sometimes. Yeah. Oh, good job. I'm going to take underwear that I find. I'm fine.

And just leave it in weird places in the house. I respect that. Okay, make an investigation check. Help me, Traveler, guide me! Oh, a little 10. Okay. But it's underwear. Right. 10-year-old underwear. A subterranean temple to the Wildmother,

the south end of Wildemount, you gather within a short time of searching, the people here probably not that into underwear. There's just none. They're probably free-balling. They're free-balling? Because I'm free! Caduceus! The stone family goes commando.

Caduceus. Do you, does your family wear underwear? I don't know what that means. That's right. Oh! Yep. What's underwear? It's just one layer of clothes between him and you. All these people with no undies, you?

Not, nope. You? Of course. What, of course? I'm not answering this question. Do you wear underwear that you wear boxes over you? Tidy whities? I'm not answering you. Are they like huggers? I bet they're huggers.

I'm going to imagine huggers. Yeah, me too. How white are tidy whities in medieval times? Let's be honest. Deep maroon, I would imagine. A hugger is a set of underwear that really hug. All the good parts. All hugs.

With testicles? Or any, you know, whatever parts you have. I think he has testicles, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Yasha, if she wanted to wear huggers, you know, it would hug her booty. I don't need to wear huggers. If you wanted to.

Do you rock a camo? I don't understand. Did you say camo? I have pants on. Yeah, why would you need pants under the pants? What do you need an extra piece for? That's not a really good question, I don't know. For when you peep your pants?

Like an extra pair of underpants? Pants underneath? I mean, that's technically what they are, yeah. Already back to Caleb. This is so not so pinpoint the exact moment I lost control of this. Maybe you put underwear on all of them. Some multiple points. Five years ago.

Yeah, true, true. It's been an hour. Okay, I hope you've done your best work. It's getting dark outside. I've got the pails going. You got some pails, you've arranged some furniture. I have definitely. Pine cones! Pine cones. Or lard nuts.

It's just pineapples. Whatever pine nuts. Make a stealth check. A stealth check. Because you went outside for this. Oh. Natural 20. There's lots of conifers in the jungle. You avoid a whole shit ton of very dangerous creatures that are nocturnal and peruse the elements of this jungle

that you only realize as you're heading your way out. We're talking feral owlbears and all sorts of other creatures that peruse this element of the jungle. There are no owlbears and all sorts of other creatures that peruse this element of the jungle. And there are no pinecones, but you find large, weird nuts, acorn-like creatures, objects you were looking for. Soggy, tuber-like things that you can find that have taken root on the exterior of the lake. A whole bunch of weird things.

It's almost like a firmer sea cucumber. Oh, great. It's awful. But you come back with a satchel of this odd collection and you, very much like the oddest Santa Claus, it's twice we've referenced the Santa Claus in this sequence. Go around and just leave little presents at everyone's hands.

With one just draped across their shoulder. Sure, sure. And then if there's any left, I'll give Gima a little bag full of a bunch of them. Like, that's ridiculous. There you go. That's really good. I'm going to Watch Nott do all of this. And I'm going to take out my paints.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And draw a dick arm? No, I'm going to draw a tiny little statue of the Traveler, about this big, and I've realized if I draw it just right. I've seen it. Yes. With the hood and the cape,

you can make a nice. I've seen it. Yes, with the hood and the cape, you can make a nice little dick out of it. The silhouette. The silhouette of a dick. And then with the cape, I'm going to make it open up just a little bit at the bottom, so it looks like the road going up, and I'm going to make the archway engraved. I'm going to make it look really beautiful.

A really pretty dick statue of the Traveler. Yeah. And with a little. Parents watch this show. And. With a little loop on the top so that it can be worn as a pendant or whatever. Right.

Tell your parents to send us a map of the area or something now. Yes. And then I'm going to. You do stuff. Yes, go up to Nott. Oh my goodness. I don't think I've ever met anyone in my entire life that would be as good of a follower of the Traveler as you.

You're everything he looks for. Are you asking me to join your cult? Well, I'm asking you to open your heart to chaos. All right. I will. You know what? When I assume my new form, my old form. Or whatever you want it to be, really.

You don't have to go back to your old form. You could be anything you want. That's true. But I will... I will be born again with your faith in my heart, and we'll see what happens. with your faith in my heart. And we'll see what happens. Can't promise everything because I don't know how I'll be.

Totally. And also, I don't think you can promise chaos. No, and yeah, if you're not feeling it, that's okay. I walk by and I slap the dick out of Nog's hand. Ha ha ha! That's good. Hey! Ditto! I got to make another fucking necklace.

Yeah, you do. I'll make another fucking necklace and give it to Beau. What? See this? What? There's chaos in your heart, I can feel it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Join us.

What? You know, if you want to hang out with the Traveler, too, I'm just saying that you make a really good follower of the Traveler, you can, you know, or if you, whatever, you're chaotic and I love you, there you go. You're very attractive right now. Thank you. Yeah. I walk away.

Okay. Get some sleep, Hela. We may I walk away. Okay. Get some sleep, Caleb. We may need to teleport, morning. Oh, okay, I'll prepare that one, but I'm busy right now. Caleb, what are you working on? I cast Fortune's Favor on myself and I have been trying to figure out

how to control or adjust or use this collar from within the Archmage's bane to figure out how to control or adjust or use this collar from within the archmage's bane that got locked around his neck, because I want to be able to use it still. Okay, roll an arcana check for me. Fortune's Favor. Fortune's Favor.

Two 16s, 26. 26, okay. These collars themselves, they aren't self-powered. They are connected intrinsically to the energies that are harnessed in the center tower, the machine tower of Halas's realm. So this has no power source. It could be experimented with,

or another power source that could be attached to it to attempt to have it function, but you're not entirely certain what could function for that in the moment. It could be experimented with, but you do ascertain with that roll that that's really all that it's missing is a power source that's strong enough to keep it going.

I understand something that I did not before. Yes. Excellent. It's a high roll, is how you're able to look at it and be like, oh, this can totally be powered again. I can see how this can be rooted in here and how the actual enchantment itself functions. But yeah, I mean, there are a number of things that could be utilized

and you have none of those things at your disposal at the moment? So once I've decided on that, I just stare at it for 10 to 15 minutes. And that's it. Okay. You said you were going to find Caleb? I'm just letting him know and then I'm passing out. Okay. I know that you still need

some sort of 1.21 gigahertz power source. You want to leave tomorrow? Would it be possible to get my family back home and then? Home, home? To your home? Could we teleport there? Well, I cannot do that. I could get us to our friend who can,

or it might take an extra step. We can't go direct. The closest you can get them is Zadash. Yeah. Or Rexxentrum. Feeling good? Get them close enough that it's an easy journey for them, and then we can get on our way

to back to the Menagerie Coast. I have an idea to help your family member. The one who's in pieces still, I'm sorry. It's okay. But I don't think it's a lost cause. Thank you. I appreciate that. All the same,

not that I understand much, but congratulations on making it this far. Thank you. See you in the morning. Yeah, good night. I fall asleep wet. Okay. I'm immediately like look the lower view.

All right. Come on. A long rest comes to you all. Oh god. Ooh! Crack it. Rough. In the morning, since you guys went to bed later than others, there's already been activity

within the Cave of Remembrance. As you awaken, you can smell a simple breakfast has been prepared, and the majority of your family that has been restored, as well as Eramis, await your arrival. You can see they've moved two figures into a central area, one of which was the Ghaima figure,

and as it looks to be, Mechatoth stone as well. I am mechatoth. It was pulled from the outside. They're going to. But as you guys awaken and gather in, Eramis greets us, Ah, good morning.

I hope rest was what you were looking for. Who's the one capable of, ah, yes, either one, whoever, please, if you could tend to Kymah. You do one, I'll do the other. That's fair. One, two, three, go. Let's see who does it faster. I think I got it faster. You definitely did.

I was confused. Okay. Okay. We'll say you head to Mekatoth, which is the dragonborn figure that's been brought inside. As the stone fades away, it reveals green scales, these beautiful, vibrant green scales. It's very thin, almost lithe dragonborn with a long tail that comes up from under the robe

as it restores, goes, Ugh. Ugh. Welcome back from the Clay family. It's been a long time. What's happening? This is weird. Oh no. What happened to everybody?

Oh no. Megatop. Megatop. Oh, this is a problem. Oh no, What happened to everybody? Oh no. Megatop. Oh, this is a problem. Oh no, Steve Bloom. On helium. It's been a while and there's much work to do. Questions will be answered later. Definitely say that again. The Clay Family, you said.

Where many of us are here. Sounds just like Fjord. Welcome, Clay family. To the, at which point Jester has finished restoring Gaima, this massive goliath, half giant, middle-aged, hair completely shorn, with these beautiful tattoos of curling vines that come up from underneath the neck

and wrap around and frame the eyes and go up to the top and then spiral to the back of the head. She has this heavy fur around the collar and this sleeveless vest that drags to the ground, these thick bracers and a staff. As she's restored, there's this moment of recognition. Oh.

I do not know you, but I am thankful for this gift of renewal. Welcome back to the world of the living. Oh my god! This is why you should have gotten eight hours sleep. No, I know, we could have. You have been missed greatly.

Well, I thank you, and she takes your hand. What is your name? Jester. Jester, may the mother keep you. And may she always give you plenty of milk. What the fuck? Traditional Chinese. Thank you. You're welcome.

Did I say that right? Is that something that's in there? Both of you turn away to the other end, and Cammy's like, I've never heard anyone Is that something that you did? Both of you turn away to the other end, and he's like, I've never heard anyone say any of that before. All right. Eramis is, yes, we've had a bit of a miscath Gorgon problem, but these individuals have kindly eliminated the creature

and are aiding us in restoring our fine cave and its denizens. Oh, well, thank you, everyone. You can see behind, Megatop's like, Yeah, looks like we got our work cut out for us. I guess I'll start with the front side of the cave. He hobbles over, this large gait from these longer-than-natural legs

shifting into the back. You get this sense that the Clay family is an odd mixture. The Stone family, also an odd mixture of personalities. I'm going to go over and tap Colton and Clarabelle. Clarabelle and Colton, in that order. Okay. Just to get everyone other than. Who else should I hit?

Do we need? Maybe I'll ask Gaima that. Do we need Jester for your plan? For a... What? Well, we are still working on that. I'm thinking of Caduceus' on my own, Clawra. Yeah. We should save one spell for... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was thinking about it also. Okay, so I can bring one person back, but also, I think I'm, well, I want to try something if you think it would work. I don't know what you're thinking. I'm not sure if it would work. Well, okay. I was thinking about what spells I have, right?

Uh-huh. And we can shape stone. I don't know if that would work. What if we put them together and then we stone-shaped? I can't stone-shape today, but. I can, because I thought about it. If you want to try. What do you think, Caleb?

Do you think that would work? I am not an expert on this. I'm not sure that my idea is foolproof, so. Nothing's foolproof. I think it will. Really? I have the faith of the Traveler behind me. Hey!

Wait, what, is that true? So do you, Beau. So do you. Wait, did I say something last night? Wait, you became a follower of the Traveler after meeting him, the guy? No, no, it's more of a favor to Jester. What?

For now. I'll take it. I'm going to go wake up my siblings. As you go over to Clarabelle, who is, you can see visibly younger than Caduceus. Looks to be probably in the mid-teens. Bright-eyed, stringy, long hair that goes past the shoulders.

Even at first glance, it's the wild child of the family. Ironically, we were making Nell references earlier. This is definitely one of the unkempt, unkempt wild kid of the family. As soon as she restored, she goes, Caduceus? Hey, hey, hey, hey, Belle, hi. Whoa.

Hey, Belle? Oh god. Looks around, Sibberti Stone. I'm confused. Mom and Dad will fill you in. It's been a weird decade. Hold on, let me deal with this guy. Does he look super old compared to how you remember him?

I mean... Hair's a little stringy, that's really good. Yeah, it's lost a lot of its color, too. How old are you now? 200 years old. You see Claire, carefully. Literally grabs Jester. And just pulls. Very gently.

Nott's been about 10 years, apparently, eight years or seven since you left. Maybe six. It's been 10 years since Mom left, so it's been a while. It's been a while. Let's hold on. I got to do this, and I'm going to wake up Colton.

All right, so Colton, who has his hand back and is in a protective position for Clarabelle, immediately goes like, Stay back. Hello? Welcome back. Everything's okay. Mom and dad are in the other room.

It's been a while. Aw. I love you guys. You too. Did you save me? Sure. Damn it. Yep.

He looks back and sees a clerical opening. You okay? Yeah, Caduceus saved me. Think about that. I'm going to turn and head back to where we're figuring out Corrin. I'm sure they're coming. Yeah, they follow behind and they start scattering

to go find your parents off as well. Slowly, other people start coming back and you get the sense that with Mekatoth and Gai'ma revived, over time, weeks and weeks on, they can probably work towards restoring the entirety of the oasis itself. Let's see what we can do for Corrin.

Let's ask Gai'ma. Corrin. Let's ask Gaima. Maybe she has an idea for, you know. I can ask her if she thinks, Gaima? As you approach, you can see Gaima is now working with a couple of other figures that she's restored, and they're currently gathering the broken pieces of some of the individuals that were found shattered,

and they're just saying quiet prayers as they gather them up into piles. Oh. Jensrath? Yes, you asked for me. Yeah, well, it has to do with... Do you think that when they're broken, they can't be mended?

At a certain point, it's a bit beyond our capabilities. But if you put all the pieces back together and... She looks down at the hundreds of shattered pieces in this pile and goes, There are a good many things I am quite capable of. Puzzles are not my forte. I'm really good at puzzles. Would you like to give it a try?

How many people are in these piles? I don't know. That makes it difficult. What if I had a puzzle that I knew was just one person? Well, you'd probably have an easier time, that's for sure. Do you think all we would have to do is stick this stone back together and then we could bring them back?

I've not attempted such a ritual before. I would hope that if you do it just perfectly right, but this is new territory for myself as well. Hey, Caleb? Yeah? What if we bring her back and her organs are wrong and she's in a lot of pain? Well, she feels nothing at the moment.

We should try something. Yeah. The alternative is the Void. True. I can try Stone Shape. Should I give it a go? Maybe have Caduceus nearby to do healing immediately if you start screaming horribly.

Yeah, that's a good idea, right? I'll be there. Are you going to Stone Shape her form together, or are we sprinkling little stones in? I was thinking we can sprinkle in some little stones and seal it up. That's not going to work, I don't think.

It's not real stone. Well. Well, it is real stone. It's petrified. It's a petrified body that's... Just in the petrified people's. It's different. I don't know. My idea is to, with help,

I am not a worker of metals, but to try to fill the seam seamlessly, and I can turn that to stone, but again, no guarantees, nothing is foolproof, but we should try something, because I don't know if putting something that isn't her Maybe I can just try putting it back together with the body as is, and I don't add any extra weird stuff.

Maybe you could just use your stone shaping to sort of smooth the edges. Seal it up. Just kind of like tuck them together. Well, let's give that a go. We're going to try that, then. So what if, so? Well, I have to bring it out,

so he sets his five pieces of amber into a trough. I believe as well. Circle on the ground. 10 minutes later, he mutters the word Una, and suddenly the circle flashes, and all the parts, as assembled, are there in this circle. Okay. The rest of the Clay family steps up

and puts hands on each other's shoulders, looking down to watch. I will levitate the body up just at your waist level. Oh, so I can see it on all sides. That's smart, that's smart. Okay, and then I'm going to cast Stone Shape. Okay.

To try to heal the stone together. Okay. Are you an artist. Go ahead and make a medicine check for me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't rush in. Place the pearl in front of her head. Very carefully, Jester.

Okay. Very carefully. Kindness. Both. Oh, that's a one. Better. Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

25. What the fuck? Medicine's real high. I got good medicine. Natural one would've been real bad. Yeah. Okay. As you focus, the portions of the body

kind of levitating, you push them all together and you begin to concentrate. The body rotates continuously as you mold over and smooth each element of the fractured elements, the body, there are pieces missing. You attempt to fill those gaps with the existing material. I don't want to do it too much. Right, but finding it in ways where you think

at the very least it should have a cohesive, continuous body. Carefully doing so, like a mystical surgeon, you just move your fingers across each of these lines as it rotates and you watch as they seal and seal and seal and seal past, like you're smoothing fresh pottery. The crowd gathers of those who have been restored

around to watch as you finish the final details on it. With that, the body is seemingly solid. Okay, Nott, you should lower her back down. All right. Set her down gently. Okay. Face down. No, no, no.

Then I'm going to use my second fifth level and cast Greater Restoration on the body. Get ready to heal, Caduceus. Okay. You put your hands onto Corrin's stone form, and you feel the warm pulse of the divine energy granted to you by the Traveler pass into the stone body. From the points of contact where her fingers touch, you can see the gray drift into colored fabric and skin.

The body is restored to a flesh form. There's a moment of pause. As you can see, Corrin was in a mid-battle pose. Now the arms go lax for a second, she goes, 48. Just because I'm curious. 10, 15, 18, 23 instant. Okay. 15, 18, 23 instant, okay. You'd be very careful. You've had a rough decade.

Some of your muscles might not be connected all the way. Allie, what is this? It's just getting healed. I'm so curious if I'll be scarring. Not out loud. I said it out loud. We're fine. You can't creep us out. Could this help me?

There you go. Wow. You see, as Corrin stands up, You can't creep us out. Could you just help me? There you go. Wow. You see, as Corrin stands up, and you see this is kind of all the family of the Clay family you've seen. The eldest, the sister of Constance, his aunt, if you will. The hair itself, the fading pink, not quite as faded as yours, has come. A lot of them, you see there's similar shades

of that pinkish skin tone. Some of it's been altered. You can see that Clarabelle has stained it all, a variety of different colors. As she stands up, Cormorant's like, Oh, the breath is shallow, but... She looks around and takes in the other unrestored people, the folks around them, the broken stone and the ground and body parts,

and you can see her connecting all the dots and goes, Ah, well, whatever you did, thank you. Everyone's fine. We're all here. Apparently. The clays stay together once more. And we have other good news. Goliath B steps forward and goes,

We've gotten what we came for. She presents the stones from the night before themselves, expanding into the crystal and roots. You can see the rest of them looks around. According to this, Knuff goes forward and takes one and goes, What would you look at that? We did something right. He pats you in the head and ruffles your hair a bit. My friends, one of them can

get us closer to home quickly. Not quite to home, but close. That would be great, that was a long walk. My feet are really sore. Have you ever been to Rexxentrum? What's a Rexxentrum? Oh, this will be interesting. Corrin.

Have you ever been to? This is to Corrin. Yeah. I've heard of the capital city of the Empire, but I've avoided major cities. We tend to get strange looks, and I don't care for the food, to be honest. Can we get anywhere closer? Or maybe with the co-op, with the...

Maybe we can go to Zadash. Which is a little less heavy. But it's farther. It is, but it's a rural road. A rural road. We maybe talk to a... We could go incognito once we are there. Would you be all right?

Would everybody be all right if we just made a quick pop? Yeah. Sure. It's easy enough to get to the Menagerie Coast from there. You get a little bit of a glimpse. Corrin is definitely restored to life. There is definitely a, what you gather, a fusing of some kind, some elements of where those wounds were

that are now extremely stiff and fused. Like having multiple vertebrae fused together in a back surgery, Corrin is locked in a specific position, but is alive. You pulled it off. Excellent surgery, Doctor. Thank you.

Really? I just heard she couldn't move. No, no, she can move. She's just a little sort of... Is this like when you sleep badly? It happens at my age anyway, don't worry. That was a great gesture. Yeah. You see Constance comes over

and touches her armpit and goes, Well, we're a family again, and we've done what we came for. I mean, that's incredible. Everyone, thank you, brother. Cool. And everyone looks at him and goes, Thanks, Caduceus, thanks, Caduceus, thanks, Caduceus.

They're all begrudgingly giving in, except for Clarabelle, who's like, Thank you, Caduceus. Missed you. So much. They all come in and give this big family hug around him. So what happens now?

You plant the little crystal dudes and? You see Cornelius pulls back and goes, I have no idea. Okay. Well, I hope he knows what to do. I do. She takes it from her father, puts it with the rest of them in there.

Would you be willing to, if we're all ready? Of course. Yeah, don't worry, we'll just do all this ourselves. Thanks for coming in here and leaving the work. No, seriously, we've got it, it's fine, it's wonderful. You should, you've been here for 10 years. You've got lots of time to make up for it. Yeah, no, totally.

We got it all handled, don't worry. You can't tell if he's being sarcastic. No, I'm being completely serious. Is there a chip missing from his throat? Did we revive that? I think he popped out a little bit. No, he's always been as prickly. But he means well.

I can hear you. Not true, but thank you. I'll try and return. Caleb starts drawing on the floor. Okay. Are we all going? If you wouldn't mind. Just stop doing it. If you wouldn't mind.

Yeah, of course. Can we fit everybody? Anybody can get there in six seconds, which would be quite a bit. Yeah, go ahead and try them. Okay, okay. Just make sure we're good. Should we tell them we're coming first, or do we just go?

Oh, Jester! Zadash, Cobalt, Sol, do you have a minute? We're going to Zadash? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whichever is the most. You do have an Uthodurn Circle, which is a hell of a lot closer. Let's do that one. There you go. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you guys paid quite a bit for it. What kind of a note taker are you? Oof-a-durn. Go ahead, Jester. Yeah, it was a different. Okay, I'm going to send a message to, who should I tell? Hold on, hold on. The senior glass blade? No.

Luh-no. Ava, Uwagurn Smeltborn? No. No. Rainy? No. No. Uwagurn Smeltborn? No. No. Rainy? No. No. No, that's, that's, that's Rickson. The Scribe Borden? Tell Rainy we're coming.

Tell him to carve. Archivist Sunlash, at the Cobalt Soul. He's a gnome, or she. Wow. Is that Uthodurn? No. Uthodurn. Wow. Uthodurn. Wow.

That's who I'm going to send a message to. Archivist Sunlash. Archivist Sunlash. All righty, and what do you say? Sort of remember. Hey, you remember us, it's the Mighty Nein. We're coming to see you, along with some other folks. They're all big.

Singing telegrams? to see you along with some other folks, they're all big. Singing telegrams is really great, actually. That lifted my spirits a little. Maybe they have pink hair, maybe they don't. Hey! All righty. Okay. Oh, wait. Is that the right person?

No, I think it's, hang on. The response is, the response is, Oh, I'm not there anymore. My studies have shifted. Wait, wait. But good luck! Vrysia Uvasik? They said, we are good to go, let's head out.

Is that right? I think it's wrong! And in we go. Do you finish the circle? No, I'm waiting for confirmation that we know that we're welcome. Are we welcome? Yep. Because you fixed it? Yeah, they said that we're okay to go.

Oh, hey, Clay family, please line up. They're okay to go. I have it. I have it. I have it. Oh, it's Dmynn! It's Dmynn Schmidt! Schmidt-schmellash? Fuck it.

He's a male gnome! Schmidt-schmellash? Dmynn Schmellash! Shabbat shalom! Archivist Dmynn. I think we fucked it up, it's fine. Dmynn Swanlash. Swimlash.

Dimid Sunlash is who you just messaged. Oh! Okay, okay, okay. Good. That is the wrong person. Samsonite. Oh wait, wait, is he the wrong person? No, we messaged wrong. Caleb's just

holding a piece of chalk, going, Just go, Caleb! We're good. Everybody ready? Play family, are you ready to run? That's exactly who you mentioned. Yeah. Oh! Okay.

Oh, we did. I'm ready, ready, ready, ready to run. Oh no, we did. That's fine. Beauregard, we are going. Eins, zwei, drei. Whoops! You circle, something brightly lights up and you all start running in.

The whole Clay family is like, vanishing through. You feel yourselves pulled and transported, thrust through a doorway, and you all emerge in the middle of a cluttered library in the subterranean city of Uthodurn, piling out, knocking into a table, sending books scattering across the ground.

You can see a candelabra topples. The lit candles rolling across the ground, catching what looks to be the edge of a book on fire. You can see the Bush of arguments around like, what the, ah, ah! People start freaking out. Guards start putting their spears in front of them as glass blades start getting.

We run over and put the book out. Which fuckbook is on me? Sorry. Not me. Sorry. You see an elven woman approach, a familiar figure, you see with short platinum pompadour-like hair approach. You recognize the scribe warden, Reysi Uvisek. He goes,

Too little, too late. What is this? Okay, here's the thing, we put a four instead of a five in the code when we were trying to call. I sent a message to Sunlash. Yeah, to Midge. He's been gone for weeks. Yeah, well, we didn't know that

because we also have been gone for a while, so. Get out. Okay. Now. Fair. Leaving. Yeah. Hey. He's like, wow, this is an amazing place.

Nice to meet everybody. I'm Cornelius Clay. Don't touch anything. This is my wife, Constance. Don't. Oh, okay, sorry. We're going. Just don't. It's a beautiful place you have. I really like it, I know. Clay's, this is a walk and talk.

The rest of you guys all slowly push through. People start putting the table back up and trying to get the candelabra back in place. Sorry about the books. My help on the way out. Sorry about that. You guys eventually emerge to the exterior of the Vellum Steeple here

within the Liberation Disk of Uthodurn. You're catching a lot of attention. This is a gathering of relatively colorful fear bogs, which aren't a familiar sight in this area, as well as yourselves amongst the populace here in the middle of Uthodurn, but here you are. The rest of the Cleofam is looking about and taking in the atmosphere.

This is a place that some of them haven't been. Corrin goes, It's been some time since I've visited this place. See, food here, much better than the Empire. That's true, I do remember that. Sorry. Well, it's nothing personal. It's just... It's bland.

I wasn't going to say it. The wood here is exceptionally good, though, I mean. To each their own. We're close to home from here. How far? It's a few days' journey, I think. Then we make it to the Savalirwood, which I think all of us together,

we should be able to traverse safely if we're careful. Beau, would you be willing to maybe get some cobalt? Protection? Protection, or, I don't know, just someone to... I don't know, just someone to... I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Just to the,

to the garden and back. We can see if Reani's around, maybe she would go. That's kind of what I was thinking, too. Yeah, there's no Cobalt Soul Archive here. This is not part of their network. You met an individual who belonged to it, who was here for research, and that's who Sunlash was, but there is no actual installed.

Actually, isn't this in Reani's place? Where is it? Yeah, this is where you met Reani, yes. It's her town. It's her town. No, no, but where's the circle? Which one? The one we just came through.

It's in the Veelam Temple. In the Veelam Temple. Yeah, the... In a while. The research center here in Uthodurn. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I guess we can try and find Reani. Sure.

Message Reani, maybe, see if she's... Yeah, I'll send a message to Reani. Ask her if she'd be willing to accompany my family. Okay. On a mission to get them to the garden. They're good people, right? Very, the best. Hi, Reani! Most of them.

We are in your town. Can you do, do you want to help go on a mission to keep Caduceus' family safe? Mm-hmm. Let me know. And he responds with, I'm finishing up a run to the Savalirwood, but I could.

Oh. Oh, I wonder when she'll be back. She's finishing up a run to the Savalirwood. I could meet them somewhere. Oh, yeah, that's good. That'll do. She can meet them somewhere. Where should they meet her so I can tell her? Ask her to pick a point to meet.

And then when? As soon as possible. Okay. Ask her. What if she, and then I waste another fucking spell. What if I just tell her where to go? Ah. I suppose meet at the edge of town,

or we had an inn, didn't we? We had the map, too. The Gringwog. Yeah. Where's that map? Where's the map? Hey, man, come in here. Nope. Nope. Nope. So many maps.

There, that's the one. Hey. Where's Utha? We're here. Where's Savalir Woods down? Savalir Woods, which is huge. Oh yeah. Is there an inn at the lake or along the river?

An inn? You're being really helpful, Travis. Is there a big... Can they meet at the lake? That's huge fucking huge. Is there a famous bridge or something to traverse the river? I would just have her meet them in the city.

Maybe they just wait here. They just wait here. Yeah, they just wait here. Ask her if we can let them into their house. That's weird. No. But we could rent them rooms. Yeah, let's rent them some rooms at an inn here. I'm just being thrifty.

Sure, sure. What's it, where's the inn? We know an inn here, we stayed at an inn. Yeah, you know a few. Go to the inn that we stayed at last. Yeah, what's the name of it? It was the? Definitely.

The Plexus Post? Nope. Nope. The Tumbled Tankards? The Broken Stool. Hang on. Where? We went to that bakery, the soft. Wait, Tumbled Tankards?

Is that what you said? Tumbled Tankards is a dive bar. Yeah. I don't think you've been there. Plexish Post is, I think that's a selling point. Plexish Post is a collector's guild, something involving Master Ava. Yeah, the Plexus Post was good. The Broken Stool?

I would say you could probably garnish a room at the Tumble Tankards. Wait, what's the Tumble Carves? Oh wait, is that different? Did I? This is gripping. Yep. In Broken Stool or the Tumbled Tankards, you could probably get a room at.

Okay, let's do that. Yeah, that or somewhere nicer. As soon as I know what inn, I'm going to tell Reani to meet them at that inn. Tumbled Tank! They're getting a room! Tumbled Tankards is a lot shiftier. Broken Stool!

Broken Stool's a little more rowdier. Broken Stools. Wait, what? Shifty versus rowdy? Yeah, welcome to Uthodon. Let's do rowdy. They can handle rowdy. Rowdy's better than shifty. Excuse me, young lady.

Just a random young lady, or? Yeah, I'm sorry, can you point us to a respectable inn, a nicer one, you know, high end in the city? So you just grab a random woman walking by, all right, this dwarf woman turns to you and goes like, Um, respectable? On the nicer end, a place where we can put up a fair number of people.

Like, nothing with an inn. You know, like family members that you're trying to impress. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You're going to take them to the Phantom later. How much are you looking to spend? How many family? Quite a few family, but you know,

not too much money, because we don't have a lot of money. I don't mind, I'll have money. I've got it, yeah. money. I don't have any money. I've got nothing. We have the gold to spend. You can probably try the Yandereist in the grand disc down below. That's usually reserved for like, you know, visiting family of any noble-born folk

or individuals that are traveling from a long journey in the ice on Christ's day? Troubled tankers. Broken stool. Broken stool. That's the rally one. Okay, broken stool. Yeah, let's just go with broken stool. We're chiefing out with Caduceus' newly alive family. They're not nobles. They wouldn't even know what to do with that.

Exactly. You're the least I know to tell. What about a happy medium? Not like a dive bar, but not the nicest. God! Something rustic. It's probably looking for the Broken Stool. Broken Stool it is!

Everyone's talking about it, let's go. All right. Fucking Dwendalian. He stumbles up. I'm going to send him at the Shireenie. We're putting Caduceus' family at the Broken Stool. As soon as you get back, will you meet them here, and then they'll go to the Savalirwood?

Yeah, I guess. I mean, probably should be fine. I've been there for a while. I think we'll be good. They're nice people, right? They're good. They're nice people, right? They're good? Use another spell. Oh my gosh, Nene, they're so good.

You're going to really like them. They're cool. Also, I'm going to get you some cupcakes. I love you. Cool. That's it. Okay. Yeah's it. Okay. Yeah, okay.

I'm going to get her some cupcakes. All right. I'm going to get me some cupcakes. You set everybody up. I'm going to get an extra dozen cupcakes in addition to those two dozen cupcakes, so I'm getting three dozen cupcakes. That's a lot of cupcakes. Isn't this where you get those black moss?

That's what I'm fucking here for! Get those, I've been craving those! Yeah. All righty, I'd say between, for all those batches that'll cost you, I'll surmise five silver. They're not that expensive. I'll pay for whatever rooms we have.

It's fine for as long as it needs. All righty. Beau goes up we have, it's fine. For as long as it needs. All righty. Beau goes up to Fjord while Jester's checking out. Hey. How you doing? Good. Yeah? Yeah. How you feeling about things?

This is a weird time to have this conversation. I feel like we have five minutes before Jester comes out. We're like... What things? I don't know, I just want to check in. I feel fine. Yeah. How do you feel about this Traveler thing?

Are you a little concerned? Yeah. Not particularly sold. I think it's weird that Nott's just jumping in. Hmm. Why didn't you want to go with the Traveler? I mean, aside from all of the obvious reasons that I know why you didn't go with the Traveler.

But like. You mean other than him revealing himself and saying, I'm not a god? Yeah, I mean, that's huge. Right, that's a big one. Yeah. I mean, it's been shifty from the beginning, right? Yeah, a little bit.

I also prefer a little bit more stability in my deities. Yeah. I was just you know, prefer a little bit more stability in my deities. Yeah. I'm just wondering if we should be concerned with her safety, or if, like, this guy is taking advantage of her? 100%. He absolutely is, right? Yeah, that's not a question.

Should we kick his ass? No! Okay. No, not yet. Yeah, not yet. No, you tame that, and then we see where it goes. I mean, Jester's done a fantastic job. She pieced a person together. Yeah, that was insane.

I thought that was going to be a fucking nightmare. Me too, I thought it was going to be like. Yeah, no, I thought he was going to be like. Like from his seams. I thought so too, yeah, but no. I mean, she really pulled it off. I think she might be more of a god than this fuckhead is.

Jester? Yeah. A god. Well, no, I'm not saying she's a god. I'm just saying, because she's always like, oh, you know, the Traveler, he's so powerful, and she doesn't know that maybe she's more powerful than he is. Hmm.

I mean, do you think? Or am I just like blindsided by bias? Yes, a little bit of that. Also, I don't really know. He just seems to appear out of nowhere. None of us can do that. But as long as she's not being hurt, then I guess I'm okay.

She's doing great things with it. The dick's everywhere, not, you know, hmm. And you know, just creating people's beds that haven't been in them in 10 years. All the best. Yeah, yeah, okay. But you know, again, no one's really been in there, so it's okay.

No, I mean, fuck those people. Whatever. How do you feel about the Traveler? You want to kick his ass. Yeah, I mean, he has a face I want to punch. Like, his curly fucking red hair, and he's like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm like, I hate you.

I'm giving you permission. Go ahead and punch him. No, you're setting me a fucking failure. I mean, yes, but I think you should do it. I mean, how are we going to know how he's going to react unless someone does it? I could try and punch him, but I'd just embarrass myself. Wait, so you want me to do it?

Yes, it's better than me. Yeah. All right, we'll see how this shit plays out. You'll punch him the next time you see him, right? Of course. From this one. Yeah. Excellent. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah.

Jester, hey! How many cupcakes did you get? Copycakes, two dozen copycakes. Hell yeah, give me one of those now. You go ahead and set up a number of rooms at the Broken Stool. How long do you want to pay these? I'll have it paid, I don't know how long it's going to take,

but just in case, I'll just put, what is it, two weeks? Just to, that seems... Okay, two weeks, we'll say about three rooms for them. That's a gold and a half per day. Mm-hmm. So... 400 gold. That was an intense J and Silent Bob energy.

11, 32. It's about 20 gold-ish. Wait, I thought you said a gold and a half a day. For two weeks, yeah. Oh, two weeks. Yeah. I was saying three weeks. So 14 days. 20 gold. All right. Okay.

As you get the room situated in this rowdy place, there's shouting and laughter, and even as you guys walk through, some folks notice they don't really care. They've been already at this point preparing for the day's work with a quick drink and a quick song and a laugh and a boisterous exit. Make yourself up to the rooms,

and the Clay family divvy out to the spaces amongst their, you know. The siblings all here are older, but there's a sweet innocence to the fact that their relationships and interactions are almost never developed beyond that adolescent relationship that they had with their parents and their parents with their kids.

That's what happens when you're homeschooled. Okay, no, it's okay. But as they all go about the rooms and you guys let them know about the plan. I'm going to go find my parents and my aunt. Yeah, they're all situated and turn back in. Oh, hi. Gruces, my boy.

It's been 10 years. Constance is four. Feels like more. I was alone for a very long time. I'm so sorry we left you, honey. Have you? There's no blame and no... I chose to be the last to stay.

I thought that was what I was supposed to do, but I was wrong. I was not the last to stay. But if you weren't the last to stay, you wouldn't have met these people you've traveled with. You were there with them at that moment because that's where you were supposed to be. That was where she brought you.

And because of that, we're all together again. Please, don't carry the weight of our mistakes upon your shoulders. I don't. I've... I had no idea what it was like past those walls, really. It's...

testing. That it is. I'm not done. With it, I miss home, but I owe such a debt, and not a... Even to the Wild Mother herself, I owe... I owe it to these people to see them through.

Not to the end of everything, but I don't feel equal to what they've given yet. And I think I can. And I think some of them especially still need me. I'm so sorry. Don't be. Caduceus, don't be. Sincerely. And we always kind of

took comfort in knowing that no matter how excitable and wanderlust filled your brothers and sisters were, you were always the one that stayed with us at home. But we knew that wasn't going to last forever. And... I mean, look at you. I don't think I've ever seen you stand so tall before. Yeah.

You got scars. Yeah. Yeah, quite a few. Yeah, where'd that one come from? Oh. It's like a spider web kind of scar. It's an impressive one. Thank you.

That was a spider. God, there's been so many. So many. Well, I'll tell you what. Each of us and your aunt, we've had our experiences in the world, and we've had our own tales to tell when we were going to come home.

And we get to go home now, thanks to you. When you do come home, bring your stories, too. I think we all want to hear about them. I will. I, uh, these people, I can't wait to share them with you. They're very weird.

Ah. Like us. I will admit, I hope that some of them choose to come back when it's time. I would love to see what grows. Well. I know I can say that to you, but I'd never say that to them.

If the winds are strong, maybe they'll carry them back to us, at the very least for a visit. We got plenty of tea. I'm going to say goodbye to the idiots and I'll be home soon. Come here.

I'm proud of you. I've got a friend who's coming to take you guys home. She'll be good. She also kind of weird. Graze. I'm excited. You'll like her. A lot. Constance goes,

Take care of yourself, sweetie, okay? Thank you. Don't tell your siblings, but Thank you. Don't tell your siblings, but... I think you're the only one who could have done this. Thank you. She means you're her favorite right now. I did not say that. I know, and it's going to be so hard not to tell them.

I did not say that. I know, and it's going to be so hard not to tell them. I did not say that. Oh. Corden, penalty, and sitting goes, I'll make sure they get back fine in one piece as well. I trust you. Thank you. For everything.

Oh. Thank that Jester girl for me, if you don't mind. From what it seems, she's the only reason I'm here. She is so much. I will. As you exit out, the rest of your family are all in the process of catching up a little bit and telling stories, and as you enter the room,

you all stop and turn. You can see Calliope sit up and give you a respectful nod. Colton is still shoulder-sunken a bit. Feels like you've known him to be the one that wanted to be the hero of the family, and he's been taken down a few pegs by this whole experience. feels like you've known him to be the one that wanted to be the hero of the family, and he's been taken down a few pegs

by this whole experience, and wears it like a shamed dog. Then there's Clarabelle, who's in the process of collecting the odd bugs in the corner of the room and putting them in a small jar, look towards you. You're, you got to look like you're leaving. Yeah. I'm not going home just yet.

I got a little bit more to do. It's going to be a rough road, and I've only got one friend who's going to be a rough road, and I've only got one friend who's going to be seeing everybody home. Trusting you to all take care of Auntie and Mom and Dad. Colton stands up. I got it, don't worry. I'll protect him, keep him safe.

I think Calliope will back me up on that. Calliope's like, yeah, sure, I'll back him up. I give my brother the pat hug. Yep. Yeah. Calliope just gives you the... I walk over and give Calliope a big hug. She's like, ah.

Whisper in her ear. The whistle tonight. For me. You see her grin curl up on the side, and she looks over towards Colton. And... Clarabelle. Clarabelle's already there in front of you,

waiting next in line, and gives you this big hug right around your waist and holds you for a second, backs up and goes, I got you something. She hands you the jar. It's filled with all sorts of insects. They're all just curled up. It's a big jar. It's filled with all sorts of insects. I'm going to let them crawl up into the staff and in my back, just let them go everywhere in my view.

I got to use something. What'd you give me? I'm going to get the big straw hat on the back of my, just bury her in it. Pulls it up a little bit, so you can just see her eyes peeking underneath you. Smells weird. Thank you.

I like it. It's been around. Keep you incognito on your travel. Incognito. Pulls it back over her eyes again, turns and walks into her sister. I'll be home soon. Thank you. I love you all very much. You see Claripo goes by, turns around and goes,

Love you, Caduceus. Clivey goes, Love you, Caduceus. Clivey goes, Love you, brother. And Colton just goes, You too. And I close the door and walk back downstairs. All right. You have a lot of siblings, dude.

Big family. Your parents fuck. It's true. It was a small house. Oh, wait. You're going to impact that later. Yeah. There's nothing weird about that. I don't know what...

No, we'll impact that later. Leave it, leave it, leave it. What's next? What is next? Oh, well, I have one thing. What? I want to cast a six-level spell. Sure. Okay, what are you casting? Oh, well, I have one thing. What? I want to cast a six-level spell.

Sure. Okay, what are you casting? Planar Ally. Ooh. I'm going to beseech the Traveler for a person that can help me out. Okay. A very mobile messenger, if you will. Okay.

I kill these. Somebody that can get around really fast. Doesn't have to be a fighter, just something that can travel. So you're spending 10 minutes summoning a planar ally in the middle of the Broken Stool. I'm going to go maybe into one of the rooms that Caduceus rented while he's talking to all his family.

I'll go into another one of the rooms. Okay. All right. You beseech the Traveler, and what are you requesting? I'm going to say, hey man, I got special, oops, a special favor that I would like. Okay, if you know a creature that can like, you know like my flying unicorns,

you know how they're really cool and maybe something that can move around really fast, maybe something that can teleport. They don't take me, something that can just move around really fast. I'm just wondering if you can help me out. It could be you, if it's not too big of a deal. I mean, I know you're really busy and stuff,

but this is super important, so. All right, give me a second. One, two, three. Better luck pulling this up on the D&D Beyond. Because I can actually search by type there. You can talk amongst yourselves. We'll figure this out. Guys. This is a bit of a...

Oh, no, Sam. No, no. I don't get it all. Check out the Elderwood Academy booth, where Dwarven Forge will be displaying their next Kickstarter Wildlands. Boston, right? It's in Boston? In Baston.

In Baston. Hey, you guys, we're going to do a live show this week. Oh my gosh. Oh boy. Oh my gosh. Yeah. We have a new comic book out. It's pretty good. Hot cover.

Hot. Got that D'Arrollo action there. Hot D'Arrollo action. Yep. Somebody that can bamf a lot, maybe go like, No. Transport via plants, do something crazy, something that can move, you know?

What do you doing? Something not tied to this. Does anyone see a tricester? Trying to search. For the fastest creature in D&D? Or just, you know, the Traveler. It could be the Traveler. A cheetah shows up.

He's got to know some sort of other fey-tastic creature that can move through plants. I figure. Good job. Something. Okay. I think I got something. Okay.

You're grinning. Oh no. As you focus for a second and the words go out, the voice responds with, Hello, dear. Hi. It's a bit, I'm preoccupied at the moment, but I think I've got an idea of someone that could help you. Oh, great. Just give me a moment.

And you hear this. So you look over and this tiny doorway opens next to you, very reminiscent of the holy symbol of the Traveler. You see this interesting verdant green turquoise color filter in the outer space, and you see emerge from it this three-foot, weirdly elf-goblin hybrid is the best way you can really describe it.

The creature itself is lithe, long limbs, pointed ears, a dull gray skin. It's about, I'd say two or so, two and a half feet tall. Its physical form itself, as it looks at you, has no hair. Its eyes are mostly white with a very, very faint pupil. It looks kind of creepy, honestly, but also weirdly pretty in some ways.

It's wearing a very faint bit of tattered clothing on it. As it emerges, it goes, I have been sent to help you. Wow. What's your name? Trevas. Trevas. I'm Jester, nice to meet you. He's already right there grabbing your hand.

He shakes it and his hand blurs a little bit. Okay, so I need a favor. Can you just, can you bounce between planes or worlds or plants, or can you just walk around really fast? More of the latter. Oh, wow. Okay, well, I've got the favor. Maybe I could have done this in a closer location.

That would have been smart. Okay, so, and I pull out my dozen cupcakes that I just got. Yeah. In a little bag, I wrap it up and put it have been smart. Okay, so, and I pull out my dozen cupcakes that I just got. Yeah. In a little bag, I wrap it up and put it around their shoulder. Okay, and I'm going to draw a map to the hag. I want them, I'm going to tell three of us, to deliver it. You don't have to go up to the hut, trust me.

Don't go up to the hut, okay? Just get past the brambles and then leave it, okay? Okay. All right. Here's the map. All right. You are really cool, and I believe in you, and do you want anything to help you on your journey? Are you good? Are you safe? Are you okay?

Can I have one? Here, let me give you one. I don't want you to take anything from this dozen, but here, have one? Here, let me give you, I don't want you to take anything from this dozen, but here, have one of these. You don't even see the hand moving. It's like popping into the mouth, and it's like all over the somewhat knife-looking teeth. What do you think?

Pretty good, huh? Whoa. You know, come back after you deliver those, and I'll give you some more. All right. And just is gone out of the room. Wow. Thank you!

That was cool. He's cool. I want to see where he came from. I want to see some more of those someday. Okay. Gather everyone downstairs. Well? It's time that we were moving. Mm-hmm.

Where are we in our timetable? I'd say, traveling through the city, I think it's probably midday. That's the early afternoon. I think he meant grand scale. How many days until the meeting at sea? Traveler Con. Let me check specifically. We can get to the boat today if we wanted.

That's true, we could vamp to Nicodranas, yeah? It's one of our only options, really. It's the way to go. You are approximately four weeks away. From Traveler Con? From the meeting. From Traveler Con, from the meeting. It's like three weeks. We're only like...

About three weeks out. Three weeks out, okay. But it's going to take some time on the sea, so. Let's get on that boat. Get to Nicodranas and sail out, yeah? Is Erly meeting us in Nicodranas? He is, right? Yeah. We told him to wait there. I think so. Yeah, you didn't give him any sort of additional messages

to send him anywhere else. Ho, ho, ho, Dick and Tartars! I'll be coming with everyone, so. Yeah? Yes, let's go! I am... Yeah, I know I'm loved at home, but I feel that I'm needed here.

Yeah, you are. Wait, were you questioning that? Don't question that, that's dumb. Come with us. I'm not done yet. Yeah. No. Thank you all. I get to return home one way or another to...

To home restored. We will just be grateful for the Wildmother to lend you to us for a bit more time. I think that is definitely her plan. All right, well, I'm not going to do it in the common room here. Let's take a walk. Yeah, let's, in typical Mighty Nein fashion,

we will go find an alleyway. Okay. I will draw it up on the floor, on the ground. You manage to guard it off like an impromptu bouncer. The friend's trying to keep a chill, but also prevent anyone from going through. Nott. What?

You're going to stay, perfect. Keep the crew together. Yeah, I'm coming with you guys, yeah. Yeah. Just, you know. Yeah, who would willingly offer to split off from the party by themselves? Yeah, that's so stupid.

What a dumb idea. Yeah. Super lame. All of us together. We all have to be high priests, y'all. It's important. Love, wait, what? Sorry? Let's go. Let's go! I will stop the spell.

11 minutes later. All righty. All righty. You guys all gather together, stepping through the circle in the middle of the alleyway, here in Uthodurn, the subterranean warmer temperature immediately giving way from the darkness beneath to the bright, open blue sky

of the sunset at Nicodranas. The orange horizon greets you with dappled bits of distant, wispy clouds, the smell of ocean and clear, soon-to-arrive evening air. You hear music and see the warm lanterns now alit along the rows of the streets here as you guys have arrived in Nicodranas,

within the interior of Yussa's tower. Oh shit. Yeah, man. Why do we keep forgetting this? It's our thing now. Fuck. So you'll get to experience that stuff once you step outside of the tower, but we'll be picking that up next week at our live show,

so we'll see where it goes there, now that's happening. Chicago. The Windy City on the high seas. The City by the Bay. So nice, they named it twice. Nope. No, that's not. They're two different.

I think they just named it once. Big Ben. Jesus. Yeah, we'll pick up fresh in the Menagerie Coast, probably gathering the Ball Eater and whatever you guys want to take it from there to the Lucidian Ocean towards the negotiation between the two warring nations.

Oh boy. And the looming promise of Traveler Con. We'll see you guys live next week at 6 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m. Central, I think it is. Or those we see at the live show at C2E2. Until then, have a wonderful week. Yes.

We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Woo-hoo! Good night. Good night. Thank you for listening to this episode of Critical Role. If you've enjoyed this ever-weaving story, please consider rating and reviewing our podcast.

You might just inspire someone new to hop on the wagon for the journey. We have plenty more stories to tell. Stay tuned, and we'll see you next time.