Critical Role - C3E18 A Hungry Jungle

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

While traveling to the Heartmoor Hamlet, Bells Hells find their night's rest interrupted by an enormous fey plant creature intent on devouring them whole... Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources Watch Critical Role Campaign 3 live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, watch the broadcast on our Twitch channel.

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast, and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story.

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. God damn it. Liam O'Brien. You taught it to me! I did. You learned it from watching me. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through,

beginning with our first sponsor of the night, Hit Point Press, Sam. This episode is sponsored by our friends at Hit Point Press and their brand new FableMakers Animated Tarot Deck, which combines tarot and role-playing games with a third magical element, animation. These beautifully animated cards, which I don't have,

will help you bring your own adventure to life. You can also use them with our hardcover tarot guidebook from Hit Point Press to combine the world of RPG storytelling and the practice of tarot. Pre-order the FableMakers Animated Tarot Deck today and get the PDF version of the book and cards for free at AnimatedTarot.com. Now, inspired by this super cool deck, which I also remind you I do not have, I decided to get into the spirit by giving my castmates a quick tarot reading.

Tarot. Who wants a tarot reading? Who, me, me, me! Oh, oh! Tell me a fortune of love. Okay, all right, Liam, I think you're supposed to cut the deck or something. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how this works. Nice. I'm lying, I do. What about those?

Yeah, you want to do the cut? No, no, no. Those are the cut ones. What if that's where the love is? Those are the uncut traps. Let me. Let me do the reading, please. Okay, you got the Empress, the Lovers, and Temperance. Ooh!

Yeah, that's pretty good. The fates have spoken, Liam. Your future is revealed. and temperance. Ooh! That's pretty good. The fates have spoken, Liam. Your future is revealed. In a short time, you will eat lunch at a Golden Corral in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. During the lunch, you will use the bathroom, just in number one, no big deal.

But when you leave the bathroom, a man will stop you and say, hey pal, you didn't wash your hands. You'll say, I did wash my hands, you just didn't see. He'll say, No, I was here the whole time. You went number one and you didn't wash your hands. You'll say, I didn't need to wash my hands, okay? They're clean.

He'll say, But you went number one, that's gross. You'll say, I didn't actually touch anything. I used my pants to aim. He'll say, Wait, what? Your pants? You'll say, It's this? Your pants? You'll say, It's this thing that I do when I go number ones. I hold my belt loops and use my pants to aim so I don't touch anything. Awesome.

He'll say, You use your pants to aim? You'll say, Yeah, they're special pants, all right? They're special pants I found for aiming your number ones. He'll say, Where'd you get these pants? You'll say, From my doctor. They're not weird. They're from a real doctor with an office and everything. And he'll repeat kind of incredulously, your doctor? And you'll say, it's totally normal, all right? That's why I don't wash my hands, because it's normal and I don't need to, because I aim with my pants. And he'll say, okay, but how did you flush? You had to touch the urinal to flush, right? And then you'll panic, and you'll start to hyperventilate, and you'll run out the door,

but then you'll realize you can't run too fast because of your special pants, the loops, the aiming loops for your number ones. They're big, and they slow you down when you run. Your doctor didn't tell you that when he gave you the special pants. Then you... I'm saving them.

Stop. Is this a story about you? Yes! Yes, it is. Anyway, thanks to Hit Point Press for continuing to support our show. Go check out the new FableMakers animated tarot deck. Matt, back to you.

That's why I told you guys love is real. I love that you can see the line where, what we're required to say ends, and then it's just the wasteland beyond. Somewhere, Tim Robbins is proud of you, Sam. Oh, ow. Oh god. Thank you, Hit Point Press, and I'm so, so deeply sorry.

Our second sponsor tonight is our friends at 2K Games and their highly anticipated release, Tiny Tina's Wonderland. Same! In the game, players roll a multi-class hero to loot, shoot, slash, and cast their way throughout landish monsters and loot-filled dungeons on a quest to stop the tyrannical dragon lord,

all while exploring a vast overworld spanning majestic cities, dank mushroom forests, foreboding fortresses, and more. You can enjoy the game solo or start a party up with three friends in seamless online multiplayer or local split screen. The game is available on the Epic Games Store. Head over to playwonderlands.com for more info.

Also, wanted to make a quick announcement. We are so thrilled to welcome our friends at Fandom Tabletop and D&D Beyond back to the show! D&D Beyond! Those of you who might not know, we use D&D Beyond every night here on the show and have done so for quite a while now. You can expect to see them here on a regular basis again

as our official digital toolset. So during tonight's break, you can see the final game trailer for their game, Tales of Zaddiya, an RPG set in the world of Netflix's The Dragon Prince. What was that song again, Ashley? You got the perfect warlock. There you go.

Put it in your shoes. Stay deep. We'll get right on the new intro, recording immediately. Thank you. Marisha, you got some programming announcements. I do. Speaking of Tiny Tina's Wonderlands,

we have a Tiny Tina's Wonderlands one-shot! One-shot! I know! Sponsored by 2K, of course. It airs this Monday, March 28th at 7 p.m. Pacific on Twitch and YouTube. It has an amazing cast of your Bunker Master, Ashley Burch. Oh!

Uh-huh, Tiny Tina herself. And players Laura Bailey, Ashley Johnson, Travis Willingham, Robbie Damon, and Ify Waterway. Woo! And then, Exandria Unlimited, Kymal is coming up, the two-part special with our amazing cast.

Aabria Iyengar as your game master. Yes, yes. Robbie Damon. Let's go! Returning as Dorian Storm. Matthew Mercer as Dariax. What's up, yeah? Amy Carrero as Opal. Anjali Bhimani as Fy'ra Rai.

Yes. And a new player is joining the table. Erika Lindbeck, y'all. Yes! So tune in to meet her. She's lovely. And then. Oh my god, there's more.

Oh my gosh. Breath, big breath. This is a big one. It's a big one, it's a big one. It's going to be Dive. Our new talk show, Foresighted Dive. Got it. It's going to be monthly.

Yep, got it. Foresighted Dive. Get it? It's going to be monthly. Yep, Foresighted Dive. Will air monthly on Tuesday. The first one. Yep. Sorry, first one is premiering on Tuesday, April 5th at 7 p.m. Pacific on Twitch and YouTube. The first people on that episode is going to be Matthew Mercer, Travis Willingham, Robbie Damien. Robbie Damien! He's in everything!

He better be. And me! Yay! If you have any evergreen questions, submit them at critworld.com slash tower in order to maybe get your question on the Tower of Inquiry. Ooh, that seems like a new feature of the show. It is.

Ooh. Yeah. Little Changa tower that we pull from. Can't wait to now watch the show. You'll be on it someday. Submit your headshot resume. That's now Trump Bones up right there. Yeah, it's a lot of programming.

It's a lot of shit coming up, you guys. We got shit, man! We got so much shit. We got shit coming out of us all. Hey! Allura. Laura, you're up. We have some shit!

Check it out! It's a tote bag! Yay! Market Market! Market Market! Isn't it so cute? I love it so much. We originally made these for live shows, and then guess what, guys? We liked it. We didn't have live shows.

Yeah. So we have them, and I was like, wait, can we sell them? So now we're going to sell them. Yay! They're cool. They're so cute. Mark it, Mark it. Do you spice?

Oh, is that what it says? It says. Awesome. You can also use it as a bib at Krabby Krab. Come on, Bob. At Krabby Krab? Yeah. Krabby Krab. That's amazing. It's a real place. Is Krabby Krab a real place? Yeah, it's like those places where you get

like a plastic bag with sausage and crab. And you can use it as a bib, Travis. Krabby and stuff. At there. Well, just high on the cultural in it. It's okay, we'll bring you one, Dax. Get your fingersfish and stuff. At their. Well, just highly agricultural. It's okay, we'll bring you one, Dangle. Get your fingers nice and greasy. Power of imagination and crab, Travis. It's going to be a weird year.

I believe that concludes our announcements. Oh, I should say, they're available in the U.S. and U.K. Critical Role shops, go check it out. Yes. Now that concludes our announcements. Good timing. And so let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role Programming. Critical.

Thursday. Critical. Thursday. Critical. It's Thursday night. One by one we climb until we reach the top. Two by two we fall. Will we meet our end or meet our destiny?

Hold your breath and roll. How do you want to do this? It's Thursday night. All ye critters come join us. It's time to continue our flight. There is magic and mystery who knows what will happen in life

but one thing's for sure we never give up on the fight from the healer to the renegade we all share the same goal adding more allies taking more chances To the renegade, we all share the same goal. Adding more allies, taking more chances.

Hold your breath and roll. You can certainly try. It's Thursday night. All ye critters come join us. It's time to continue our flight. There is magic and mystery from darkness. Our friendship will rise. When one thing's for sure, we never give up on the fight. Oh, get ready.

It's Thursday night! And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bell's Hells, following a handful of threads that led them away from the city of Druesar and northward through the jungles towards the Heartmoor, the swampy bog region on the northern part of the Odyran Wilds where the Heartmoor Hamlet exists. Whereas there, you had hoped to, one,

find information that seemed to pertain to the death of the Loomis twins in the path of your particular interest, as well as deal with a possible job set by Jiana Hexum that could cancel some of your outlasting debt and issues that you carry as baggage. Ashton, gathering your materials, purchasing some horses,

and trudging on for a handful of days, keeping predominantly to the roads through the jungle. You had a handful of odd encounters with some creatures in the vicinity, some errant weather effects, gathered a couple of small magical items through some careful planning, some careful reflexes and pursuits,

and some relatively uneventful evenings of camping off the road, where some conversations were had, some bonding was mounted. And then about a day out from the Heartmoor, in the middle of the night, something seemed to be glowing in the nearby jungle, near the ridge of where you had set up camp. A strange little, faintly glimmering fairy,

small, tiny creature that led some of you curiously to look in its direction, Fearne specifically pursuing it out of frustration. Upon which. Just going to kick it out of frustration. Upon which. Just going to kick it out of the way, but. Which is a valid option, and most fairies deserve it. But this seemed to not really be a fairy, as instead the presence of it drew you

mindlessly forward into the darkness. Ashton, you were quick to follow and find Fearne staring, stunned, mindless, into the darkness. There, this fairy creature was tethered to this long, winding vine that seemed to be protruding from, up into this point, a well-hidden, gargantuan, fanged plant creature

that began to rise out of the brush in shadow before opening its large mouth. That's where we're going to go ahead and begin. I need everyone to roll initiative. Yes, let's do it! I'm ready! I'm awake! Everyone who's awake, roll initiative. Those who are still asleep will get to that.

So it's just a glowing dollar on a string being pulled through the jungle. It was Laudna, Imogen, Fearne, and Ashton with the only one that's awake. That's a lot of people. I've had so many around. Whoa! This looks awesome!

What are those horses? Our horses! Where's our horses? Look, it's racing up there. Where's your campfire? Where's Rabbit? Get a good look at them now while they're still there. Just whap them on the butt.

Let's send them straight towards the Maw of Justice. No! That's great. Inevitability. All righty. That's great. Out of the gate. So. Why do you have to bring a separate gate? Because our minis got packed up.

Oh, no, good. All right, so we have, over here, Fearne would be right about there. Just right out in the open, ready to go. With Ashton to the side, and this will say, Laudna, you're awake, right? Uh-huh. The trees are cool. I was when I started waking up.

That's so cool. Imogen, you're awake. Mm-hmm. Right about on the side of the campfire. It'll say, you were asleep. Hong Shui. I'm definitely up against a tree.

I get myself as close to wood whenever I can. I respect that. There you go. I'll leave you here. Stupid. And fresh cut. Commune. You just predator back into it. Exactly.

Perfect. So if I could have those that are conscious, go ahead and roll initiative if you haven't already. Conscious? Oh, conscious. All right. That's my life. 25 to 20? Out of the gate. 20 to 15?

15. 15. Thank god. Wow, guys, wow. Imogen is at 15. Yeah. Wow. 15 to 10. 10. Wow. 15 to 10. 10.

10, all right. All right. Uh-oh. 10 to five. Six. Damn! Oh. Good thing it's only a big fanged thing with a fairy tale. That sounded weird.

Laudna, what'd you get? I rolled a natural one. Oh no. For a total of? Three. All righty. So, top of this round. Top of the round! Top of the round to you.

All right. Imogen. That's me! It's you. You watch as two of your friends go off into the distance, the light from the campfire just barely keeping them lit as Ashton goes to inspect Fearne, who stands there, and you hear this very faint,

you don't even see anything in the dark, all you hear is. What are you doing? Shit! In. You see this faintly glowing fairy creature just chilling right there. In Orym's head, he gets a shouted, Wake up! Does that work?

Sure. As I... Oh god, I don't know if I want to run down. I run a few steps forward. It's just your life, don't worry about it. Down the hill here, or? Yeah, I just want to stay elevated, but not fully down.

Like here or over here? Yeah, that's great. Okay, cool. Little piece of chewing gum. I'm going to send... Oh god. What do I have? What's going on? There you go.

I'm going to send Dancing Lights down into the fray so I can see what the fuck is going on. Okay, cool. Thank you. Seeing as how I used a Dancing Light to represent the fairy, I'll just use this cluster of Dancing Lights to just create the space around there. As soon as your lights flicker off into the space,

giving this faint purplish energy, you see what looks to be a small tree, except it begins to move as soon as the light touches it, and you instead see this massive creature that is a twisting mass of vines and roots that tighten and pull across each other. This tattered underbrush that acts almost like a lion's mane

around its heavily toothed, open beak-like mouth, eyeless, with small vines that seem to wrap around and whip, is now visible. Right as I see it, as my bonus action, I'm going to telepathically or telekinetically pull Fearne five feet towards me to get her farther away from me. You got it.

Okay. Smart. That finishes your go. Yes. So you are now coming to consciousness. I will say, go ahead and roll an initiative check for me. Okay. I'm not going to use my advantage because I'm just waking up.

You're just waking up, but it's going to be disadvantage. I did roll advantage anyway. I'm just going to roll one. I don't even know what I rolled. That's a real low. That is nine for me. Nine for you. It's higher than it was.

Just after Fearne. Yep. All right. You were six after Fearne. Yep. All right. You were six, Ashton? Yeah. Mm-hmm. All right, so that brings us to, that finishes your go, Imogen. The rest of you are still asleep. Okay.

It is now the creature's turn. Yep. So first, the bulb is drifting there. It's going to go ahead and shift out. Out this way. As it moves past your shoulder, you glance as it moves past, and then it seems to pulse with a bright glow,

almost like a lantern light that suddenly flickers bright and off. I need both Ashton and Fearne once again to make wisdom saving throws for me. Okay. 20 total. Nope. Nope. Okay, so you manage to resist the effect

and begin to shrug off that strange influence that had caused your brain to essentially shut down into this low, noisy, warm light. You felt like you were almost bathing in a lit bath and enjoying that expanse. Suddenly, you pull out of it and you're in the middle of a dark jungle once again, and you see this creature shifting in front of you,

like part of the jungle has come to life and you realize where you are. Ashton, you, however, your mind begins to pull away from your consciousness and this fuzzy sense of static takes over your mind as you Into the bed. Move. Oh no! Step up towards

the creature there. No, what are you doing? Not on my turn? No, you are incapacitated. Okay. I'm fully incapacitated. Okay. It fully incapacitated. Yeah. Great. Half your walking speed, which would have been 20 for you.

No problem. You're incapacitated until the end of its next turn. I'm just not noticing the creature because he was perfectly blocked by this tree. Ah, and camouflaged. God, very well camouflaged. Part of his thing. It will also, following that up,

with a Hungry Jaws attack. Oh no! We're incapacitated. Hungry jaws. That's going to be 24 to hit. That hits, surprisingly. You are incapacitated, so it is an automatic crit on you.

No! Open up and there it goes. Oh shit. That's bad. Automatic crit if you're incapacitated. Don't worry, you're actually asleep. 32 points of piercing damage to you. Wow. Wow.

They're hefty. And you all watch as Ashton, weapon out to the side, suddenly this pulse hits. Ashton drops the hammer and drags it on the ground behind them. As they step forward towards the creature, the creature turns what you imagine its head to be to the hammer and drags it on the ground behind them. As they step forward towards the creature, the creature turns what you imagine its head to be

to the side and then swallows him. Ashton's gone? Help. It's again? It's again. It's fucking again. Again. Oh shit, guys.

Uh-oh. It's going to slowly, oh dear. No, no, no, no, shit, guys. Uh-oh. And it's going to slowly... Oh dear. No, no. No, no, no, no. Shift its way this way. All right. It's very large. That finishes its turn. Now it brings us to Fearne with Orym on deck.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Okay, that was a... That changes things. Didn't, though. It didn't. It did not. Okay. That's not going to work. Fuck. Oh goodness gracious. Okay.

I am going to shit. You can do that. I'm going to shit. Isn't that cool? Does a fern shit in the woods? Well. All right.

I am going to rub my palms together and and cast Poison Spray. You're going to cast Poison Spray. You want to cast Poison Spray? Yes. Mm-hmm. Okay. And it is a Constitution saving throw.

Poison Spray. Huh? You can get poison with that. Uh-huh, good. Okay, that is a 14. 16. All right, so it does not succeed. So...

It's a five-doll So? It's D12. Suspension of dispel. Okay. Okay, 18. 18, okay. Points of poison damage? Poison damage. So as you expel this cloud of poison and gas towards it,

it seems to react and suffer some discomfort at it, but this creature's biology doesn't seem quite as influenced by toxins. Woo! Damn. Okay, so. It is a plant. It is a plant. It is a plant. That was a cantrip. Yeah, but it's a poison bleach spray.

Mm. Should've specified that. Pesticide. I would like, can I also take an attack? So that was a cantrip. It was an action to cast the cantrip. Oh, that's right, that's right. So you have bonus action and a movement still. Okay, so what I'm going to do is...

I'm going to try to step away, but I think you'll get an attack of opportunity. If you move away from his combat range, yeah. How far do you want to move? Okay, I'm going to try to move a little closer to up that way. And, and. This way? Yes. Okay, how many feet?

Um, let's see. What's your movement speed? 35, yeah. Yeah, because if he moves away from you, then you get to hit him. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to stay, because there's something I might try if it ends up working. Okay.

I'm going to stay. Are you going to use your bonus action for anything? I'll just, I'm going to scream at everyone. Wake up! Wake up! I was wrong! Everybody wake up! All right, I'll say with that, the remaining members to go ahead and roll initiative.

Yep, yep. Come on, Bone Decks, roll low, motherfuckers. Gah! Oh no. 10. Seven. I knew I should have brought the sage. All right. I'm next to Fearne.

I'm probably lower dex than you, though. Yeah, so you've... Plus two. Roll ace! Roll ace. Oh shoot. Regular roll ace? Nine. So, well, you've... Plus two. You too. Rollies? Rollies! Rollies. Oh shoot. Regular rollies? Nine. 11. You got it.

No! Ah! So wait, what did you roll? There's other kinds of rollies. So here's the thing. If you had rolled a high initiative in this instance, you technically would, in this particular circumstance, I'm using it as if you had rolled high,

then you wouldn't be until the next initiative count. You're technically next with Fearne, so you actually, and this is one of the weird circumstances where I'm allowing the low initiative on that roll to have been beneficial. So now you get to immediately take your turn after her. Oh shit. Same Fearne. Pressure.

All right. Okay. So you come out of consciousness, you are prone on the ground, waking up, looking off to the side, there's a fire crackling towards your feet, keeping your footsies warm. Across the way, you see the bright purplish light

in the middle of the jungle, and this creature that's now slithering through. What do you do? Shit. So am I over here? Yeah, you're right there. Oh, the brain of the wood. It's imprinted in my face.

Can I wake up and run this way? Okay, you're getting up, which is half your movement. Can I just run away? Can I just run away? Well, yeah, fuck you guys. Well, it's half your movement. Oh, that is, right. To get up from prone.

Okay, so 12 feet. I'll use another 12 feet. So 10-ish. 10, yeah. So you're going this way? Yeah, I'll come to the edge. That's a bed. Yeah, back a little towards you, yeah. That's a bed. That's where you can get there. Okay, great.

And I'll come one square. You can stay there if you want to get near the tree. That's great, yeah. Okay, there you go. That's your movement. Uh, boy, I really can't do jack shit. With my bonus action, I'll say, sleeves are bullshit, and I'll dig my fingers into my arms

and I'll rip the skin off of my arms. Yes! With my hairy, hairy, muscled arms underneath. and I'll dig my fingers into my arms and I'll rip the skin off of my arms. Yes! Oh! Hairy, hairy, muscled arms underneath. Just putting that in there. Oh, that's true. You could dash if you want to. Yeah, let's get some movement here. So I'll keep coming in the direction I was moving. I want to stay wide. 10, 15, leaping down.

Yeah. 20 to there. You can go 25. Yeah, perfect, that's exactly what I was thinking. You got it. All right, so you jumped off the edge and you're circling around this way. Right. You got it. That finishes your go. Thanks. the edge and you're circling around this way. Right. You got it. That finishes your go. Thanks.

Orym, you're up with FCG on deck. Okay, so Orym comes to, grabs a shield and sword off the ground next to him, pops up groggily, and sees Fearne with this thing lumbering over her. I can't tell where Ashton is on the board. Ashton is inside there. Inside. Ashton, you don't know that.

Where's Ashton? You just don't see Ashton. So I'm going to curve around the fire with the other half of my movement. Then I'm using my action to leap through the air to land behind Fearne. Okay, so you're right. I'm using my movement to get to the edge. Half movement to get up. Yep. Other half movement to get to the edge. Half movement to get up. Yep.

Other half movement to get to the edge of the rock there. And then you're going to use my action to go pew. And just like Flea Dash over here. Flea Dash, land behind Fearne. 25, 30, that would get you just there. Make an acrobatics check for me. Can I land behind her specifically? Oh, you can land behind her this way.

Yeah, that can be allowed. Okay. Do an acrobatics check for me. Okay, you got it her this way. Yeah. Yeah, that can be allowed. Okay. Doing an acrobatics check for me. Okay, you got it. Acrobatics. 20. 20, yeah. You actually grab onto her shoulder

to help cushion your fall and then land, blade off to the side, shield over the shoulder, then pull the shield back out, and you are at your ready. Then Fearne, like a secret door, you find yourself revolved like you're in Young Frankenstein, away from the creature, and I'm there, bait and switch. I'll take the AC. Come on! Okay, got that.

And now I will Action Surge and attack this thing. Hell yeah, okay, go in. Action Surge. First is pretty low. That is a 14 to hit. 14, unfortunately, misses. Okay, and is pretty low. That is a 14 to hit. 14, unfortunately, misses. Okay, and then slash again. And that is a 20 to hit.

20 hits. Goating attack. Okay. Has to make a wisdom save. That is an eight, so. An eight? An eight, yeah. So it has disadvantage, attacks anything that doesn't include you, correct? So very little damage, eight points of damage, and then yeah, anything it tries to attack

other than me, disadvantage. You got it. Okay, that finish your go? Yeah. All right, FCG, you're up. You all right? Great turns. As I open my ocular receptors

and look around, I see in the dead of night, right, my friends in danger danger and I say, oh, it's happening again. Oh no! Oh no! Layers. That's horrible.

And I don't really know what's going on, so I'll just move forward. Okay. To the edge of that little platform there. Okay. And not knowing what that little platform there. Okay. Not knowing what's going on, I will... Is everybody okay? I'll do Sympathetic Binding as my action.

I will bind myself to Imogen. I don't see Ashton. You don't see Ashton. Nope. I don't have to see them to bind to them, but if I didn't see them, I wouldn't know where they were. So I'll do Fearne instead. Okay, so Imogen and Fearne. Yes. You got it.

So keep tabs on that, and that's your roll. And then bonus action. How is my relationship with Imogen? I think we'd call her an ally or trusted companion. I'd say she's- I mean, we did mind meld. Yeah, with the role-playing bonds that you guys have built and over time as of letting you be upgraded into a trusted companion.

Okay. You've LARPed together. Yes. Then I will, as my bonus action, I will give you a bonded blessing where you now get Guidance, a d6 that you can add to anything. A d6? Yeah, because she and I talked, motherfuckers. So anyone else who wants to.

That's what therapy does, it gets you results. Is this what you're shouting to us as you roll through the jungle? In your turn? That's great. It's like an inspiration dice, basically. That's a fatso. Damn. Awesome. Does that finish your turn? That's it.

All right, finishing your go. That brings us to Ashton. Fuck. So Ashton. You went from this odd staticky sensation to a horrible, sharp pain across your torso on both sides. And then darkness and constraint, and you are currently restrained.

Also, you feel this horrible, acidic burning sensation as you are digested from the inside. That's a lot of dice. That is, that is. Are you Bane? Oh yeah. That is 19 points of acid damage. Wowzers.

It's your turn. What can I do? You can do anything you want to, you just restrain, which means your speed zero, and any attacks you make are at disadvantage. Okay, I'm going to rage like a motherfucker, because what else am I going to fucking do? Maybe you'll, like... No. Maybe you'll, like...

Yeah, it certainly could, that'll do. That's really nice, okay, so. Can you phase through his body? I know, that's what I mean, don't you have one that phases into a location? It That's really nice. Okay, so. Can he phase through his body? I know, that's what I mean. Doesn't he have one that phases into a location? It doesn't quite work that way, sadly. So not that anyone can see,

but there is a fucking light show going on inside this thing. Maybe there's just a weird little, like a bad discotheque happening in there. Oh, look, it's a mountain. Yep. Oh, it's a party monster. About to shit another fairy.

Fuck. That's how another fairy. Fuck. That's how fairies are made. I am going to... My only chance of fucking surviving this is getting the fuck out of this thing, I assume. Okay. So I am going to just grab the hammer, and I'm just going to start stabbing

with the bottom of the hammer, just seeing if I can cut myself out of this. So you're trying to force your way out of it? Yes. Okay. I'm going to do damage to it to try and get out. Okay, so go ahead and. Is there a difference between trying to get out and? There's two different ways you could try and get out.

You could either try and do enough damage to eventually possibly be coughed up, or you could attempt to make a contested strength check to break free. Depends on whichever you're feeling more comfortable with. That's a big mind. That's a big, big mind. You're just dumb dumb. I've been rolling like shit.

Do I, that is a tough call. You might also, it might give you disadvantage or something, because you can't move. No, you can't move. No. Yeah, I would actually, that's right, I have disadvantage anyway. So I guess a contested strength check,

because my strength's okay. Okay. Well, you are right, I have disadvantage anyway. So I guess I contested a strength check because my strength's okay. Okay. Well, you are raging, which does give you advantage on your strength check. You could go reckless, right? Or you could go reckless attacks and make a baseline attack. Baseline attack. It's up to you. I'm going to do the strength check.

You got it. That's pretty good. Trying to read that because it's hard to read. Okay. It's the middle of the night. Just strength check, not safe. Correct. 18. 18?

18 is exactly the DC that he rolled. Fuck god! So you do manage to like, yeah, 18 is, to hit the DC that he rolled, the contestant, you basically begin to take the hammer and jam it and jam it into the side, and you find, the first couple times you're trying to take the handle of it and pierce,

it's hitting hard, petrified stone or old, old, heavy wood, and then you find one patch that splinters and pushes through, and you see that you've punctured the side of it. You use that momentum to push through, and all of a sudden you see this emerging light show of Ashton essentially be birthed at the sight of this weird tree creature.

Oh, nice. You're out? I am out. I am fucked. You're prone, but you're out. I am fucked right now. I am not looking good. You still have your movement, but you are prone. I'm going to use my movement to get up and circle towards Fresh Cut Grass,

I suppose, going. Okay. I'm not going to leave. I know it's got about 10 feet, yeah. It's about as far as you can get right there. How close am I to the fairy thing? You're right next to it. I don't want to be right next to that shit.

Never mind, I'm so sorry. I can't see it from here. I'm going to circle the other direction. Towards Fearne? Fearne's on the other side. Yeah, towards Fearne. Okay, there you go. Just five more feet away from all that shit, yeah. Okay.

I'm really fucked up, please help. Fuck, ow, fuck, ow, ow! I'm really fucked up. All right, that finishes your go, Ashton. Laudna, you're up with Imogen on deck. Seeing a fresh cut grass just wake up and look a little confused, I go, FCG, it just ate and then shat out Ashton.

Oh shit. Its metabolism is off the fucking charts. I can never sleep again. Then I take a little bit of the swampy muck from the bottom. It starts to bubble and surface. It's just that nasty mud at the bottom of a pond. It just slathers all over top of him

and gives an oil slick sheen to him. I cast Hex. Okay. Yeah! All righty. When it was doing that strength check, that strength roll just now, would that be an ability check? That would be.

Then I will give him disadvantage on strength checks with my Hex. Good looking out. Yes! All righty. In the end, I'm going to take that muck and you see ice shards come out of it, frozen pond muck, and I'm going to do Ray of Frost. Ew. Shards of muck?

Okay, Ray of Frost. Yeah, you've ever seen frozen mud? Yeah, of course. I don't like it. Oh, okay, okay. That's better. Okay. 20, 21. 21. 21 hits.

Great. And that's 2d8. Shit. 2d8 plus 1d6. Yeah, you're right, it's a hex. That's so much damage to him. Holy shit. Yeah, dude. Holy shit. Jeez Louise.

Two, four, six. Two, four, five damage. Yikes. Two, four, five damage. Yikes. Two, four, five damage. All righty. But his speed is minus 10 feet now because of the Ray of Frost. That's great. He's a little frosty. Okay, that finishes your go.

All right, is it your turn, Laudna? Yes, I think so for right now. Imogen, you're up. Okay. Imogen. All right, I'm going to look around and with my telekinetic abilities, I'm going to pick up, I'm going to use a sorcery point to split this spell.

I'm going to pick up two large boulders and send them at the creature. Cool. To catapult Spells. Whoa. Okay, so you're twinning spell. It's a, yes, twinning spell, yes. Does it say you can target the same creature

or does it have to be separate creatures? It's two different objects that I'm targeting with Catapult, so I'm not targeting a creature with the Catapult, I'm targeting the object. Okay. Catapult can be used not as an attack, so you're not targeting a creature. I'm sending it.

No, that's valid. You can use it to launch a creature, though. Like a third. No, that's valid. It's valid because you're targeting, this is... Look at you, lawyer, right now. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll allow it, I'll allow it.

Thanks, thanks, thanks. I love that so much. So I'm casting this at third level and I'm sending two large stones at the creature. Sure, yeah. All right. I technically can roll a Wild Magic since I met a magic on it. If you wanted to. Do it. Wild Magic?

What? Just because? Just because. Wait you wanted to. Do it! Wild magic? What? Just because? Just because. Wait, does that take the place of a spell? No, no, no, it just adds an effect to whatever I just do. Go ahead and roll a d100. 23. 23.

Okay. Your skin suddenly begins to shift tone as you finish casting the spell. You don't realize that, but everyone else is looking over at Imogen. You watch as her skin suddenly begins to take on this sickly bluish hue. So continue.

All right, so two large boulders sent at the creature from two opposing directions, so it has to roll Dexterity Saving Throw. Dexterity Saving Throw, you got it. That is an 11. Yes! Do I roll twice? Do you not know why snow was hit?

That doesn't make any sense. Oh, no. Okay. It must have been the effect of this creature. Wild magic! I think my phone accidentally hit it. That's my wild magic, I guess. Snow. There you go. Does it roll twice for the two objects coming in?

It will, yes. And a five. It failed on both. Okay, great. So that's 5d8 twice. Ooh! Oh my god. 5d8 twice. Get it, baby! Metapult? Yeah, yeah.

It does target. It targets an object over a creature. Oh, amazing! 40-ish damage. 12, 13 plus 14. I will do that. It's bringing the heavy fog that usually rolls into the jungle during the shower.

13 plus 14? Yeah. That's 27. 27. Okay, 27 on the first boulder. Dang. There you go. 27. Okay, 27 on the first boulder. Dang. There you go. 27! That is awesome.

16, 22, 28, Way above average. 32. Woo! Dang! These two large parts of rock that have been covered with vines and heavy root that aren't even visible,

suddenly tear free and rise up. Just floating in space, slowly rotating as you watch Imogen's skin go from that light sickly blue to a steadily darker and darker, almost navy coloration. Then both rocks slam into both sides of the creature with a heavy impact. You see whatever plant-like lifeblood viscera would exist inside suddenly get spattered out

from the impact as it seems to buckle and fold for a second, taking a heavy hit. Both rocks into the ground right next to Orym, one almost on the ground next to you. They got Ashton gun out of there. Yeah. Honestly, probably. I wouldn't have done it if he was in there.

True enough. I'm going to back up if I can. How long are you going to back up? As much as I can. Five, 10, 15, 25, 30. Yeah. A little odd. Yeah. That was amazing.

Here you are now. What is happening? Blue? Yes. A little bit. You're Smurfy. Are you feeling okay? Can you calm it down? It's her blue period. All right, so.

That finish your turn? Yes. So moody. Now the creature's turn. Okay. So moody. Now the creature's turn. Okay. So first, yeah? I'm going to use my bonus action to shove Ashton further away from it. Okay.

Before I move. What's the range on that? Well, can I say I did it before I moved? Just have used my bonus action to shove Ashton. Right, what's the range on it? Teleconnect shove. Teleconnect shove is... SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, 30 feet? 30 feet.

He was 35 feet away from you. Okay, good. Which means, if you want to do that, you can move towards and then away. It would mean you're a little bit closer, but your call. Yeah, I'll do that. Okay. I want to get him further from the creature. They don't get an attack of opportunity on it if he's out of the range.

No. All right, so you shove him back and then climb back up onto the top and get right next to the fire, where now you and Laudna are both flanking the side to the fire. Now it's the creature's turn. Its vine slithers up, up to the top here,

and the fairy's up to the top, gives off this light pulse. Oh, what? That will get all of you up top. I need Laudna, Imogen, and Fresh Cut Grass to all make wisdom saving throws for me. Yeah. Which one? Don't fuck me, Gil.

19. 19, you're fine. 10! Nine. So you, concentrating on your weirdly colored, unexpectedly-hued skin, feel this influence on your mind as the pulse hits and you cover your eyes and you're used

to resisting influence because it's constantly pressing on your brain, so this is second nature to you. As soon as you push it off, you look back and watch as Fresh Cut Grass and Laudna walk forward off the edge. Oh my god. To there, and Laudna, you step off the side and catch yourself stopping right there.

Oh no. Can't have that cleric being messed up. All right. I mean, Laudna, too, but whatever. That's good. The entity, which previously was in a soft hunting mode, now seems to be Soft hunting mode?

seems to be getting more enraged as it's suddenly crushed by an extreme amount of pain. No. Just a soft boy. It is going to, let's see, it's going to go ahead and first unleash, well, as a follow-up to that,

it's going to unleash three Vineswipe attacks, which only have a 15-foot range, so it can't get you. That's going to go ahead and get Laudna, Fearne, and you, Orym. All right, disadvantage on them. Does it say to anybody that does, that's not you, or to any attack that doesn't include you? No, the three separate attacks, you're right.

So you're good. Any attack that's not against me is a disadvantage. Correct, yeah. So this will be against Fearne. Still a disadvantage, that is a 17. Just hits. Okay, gotcha. So you take... 14 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay.

And it yanks you closer to it. The vine pulls you in against Orym. That is going to be a natural two. Pretty sure that misses you with a 10. Oh yeah. Yeah. So the vine comes whipping towards you and you bash it away with the shield. The one coming towards you, Laudna, at disadvantage.

That'll be 15? Shield. Yes! You're currently incapacitated. No! So you cannot take an action, unfortunately. Hits. So you take, because you are incapacitated, it is considered an auto crit. This is fucking trouble.

You take 20 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. And you are pulled adjacent to it as the vine smacks you, you're no longer, you now are back in control of yourself and your It hurt, but it's all right. Yeah. All right, that's going to finish its go. Fearne, you're up with you. Chetney on deck.

All blue eyes? Chetney. Okay, so I'm like this. I have, am I, can I do anything? You're not restrained, you're just pulled in and you push out of it, but you're just right next to it now. Okay, I am going to produce a flame blade in my hand

and try to stab it. All right, so as a bonus action, what level are you casting flame blade? I'm going to do a third level. Third level. You all watch as this large, arcing scimitar of fire just emerges out of one hand of Fearne's. Go ahead and make an attack with it.

Okay. You can spell attack mode fire. Ooh, nice. Okay, 28. 28 definitely hits. Holy shit. Okay. More flame blade.

Get it, get it, get it, get it. No shit. Wow. I got my teeth. Okay, wait. Dampenny. It's usually three or something. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Four.

Wait, so it doesn't go up if I cast it at third level? It doesn't give me an extra d6? Stand by. Oh. Looking up spells, because that's what we do. Because it's very hard to remember all the weird shit you have. Oh, so I guess it's the same.

At third, it doesn't add an extra d6. Oh, you're right, at fourth level it goes up. So you just take a second level. Okay, sorry, so it's a second, okay. That's okay, so it's just 3d6. Ah! Okay. 13 points of damage. 13 points of damage.

13 points of damage, all right. As your blade carves into its side, this hardy creature that previously, when you had released this poison spray on it, and it seemed to shrug off a majority of what you had hoped would be an impactful attack upon the creature, your blade carves through it like hot butter.

As it cuts through entirely, there's no resistance. You see where the burn mark was. It is extremely unhappy, and you hear this subtle shriek deep inside as it seems to not like fire. Okay. Okay. Dope. I should have tried to get out of this.

Can I try to, with movement, try to get out of it? How far do you want to go? Well. I'm going to try to, well, I just want to try to get out of his arms. He doesn't have you held, necessarily. You pushed away. It just hits you and pulls you in and then lets you go.

Oh, okay. Then I'm going to... So you can move if you want to. But he'll get an attack of opportunity. Depending on how far you move. Because I was going to try to go over by Ashton. Up to you. Let's do it. Okay.

You're going over here? Yeah. Like there? Yeah. Okay. So as you dart past, one of its vines whips out towards you. That is going to be a 16 to hit. Doesn't hit? Doesn't hit.

Nice. You just duck underneath. No impact. Okay, great. All right, that's my turn. Okay. Finishing your turn, now that it's angry. Now that it's angry? What do you mean, now that it's angry? It's going to use two of his legendary actions.

Oh! I'm sorry! Man, wait, wait, wait. What? This is a legend. I don't feel good about this. Time out, time out. Okay, okay. Hold on. Legendary actions don't mean it's a legendary creature.

Legendary actions just means powerful creatures have some sort of an attack economy against seven players that can make it dangerous as a solo entity. Who gave it a miracle drop? Just be mindful. Hold on just a minute! Well, it's going to Hungry Jaws on you, Laudra.

I'm going to die. Hungry Jaws? What, Hungry Jaws? Hungry Jaws? Disadvantage. Hungry Jaws. Because? Technically an attack?

Well, it is. Still the same round. That's true, because he's not back here. So yeah, it is disadvantage Still the same round. That's true, because there's not back to you. So yeah, it is disadvantage. It's still pretty high. That would be a... You can use your action, right? 19?

It's out of my shield range. That would only give me an 18. I have to roll one less. 19 with disadvantage? But fuck this motherfucker. Hellish Rebuke. Let's go with the Hellish Rebuke! If you're going to eat me,

I'm going to fucking rip your jaws off as I'm going in. Yes! Okay. So yeah, is it a dexterity saving throw for it? Yep. It is a 14 on its side. Fail. All right, so it takes full damage from your Hellish Rebuke.

Oh my god. You. Oh, plus I have big money. Big money, big money. Oh god. Okay. Yeah, yeah, get her away. It's okay. 15 total damage.

15 damage, which you take 12 points of piercing as its mouth bites and begins to pull you into its strange plant monster gullet. While you are being swallowed, you angrily unleash your Hellish Rebuke and you watch as the inside of its mouth lights up with a burst of dark energy and flame before Laudna disappears.

Yeah, you ever see a kid accidentally eat a pen and the pen bursts in their mouth and just like, that's what it looks like. I've seen a kid. Much better read describing it. We all speak from personal experience. Yeah. All righty.

That will go ahead and finish Fearne's turn. I don't have time to make a new character. Yeah. The wolf just charges in, straight in for melee. You were like a twig. All righty. And with my bonus action, I'm going to use my Crimson. Make a concentration check for Hex, too.

Right. Disadvantage on the strength. Constitution saving throw. Yes. Wait, what'd you say? Just do your roll. No. Sorry, don't let him. What'd you roll? Two. Two, yeah. Hex vanishes.

So it no longer has disadvantage on strength. Fuck! Which you gave it. Well, I mean, your strength is. I couldn't have done it. Couldn't have done it anyway. All right. What's the matter? Poof! So, anything we do, Terry? This is getting dicey. I couldn't have done it. Couldn't have done it anyway. All right. Doesn't matter. Poof!

So, anything we do, Terry? This is getting dicey. I'm going to use my bonus action to ignite my Crimson Rite, so you see the claws in my hand start to extend, and as they do, blood drips out of my fingertips and ignites into fire. That's fucking cool.

Yeah, they just and I'll take two strikes against him, but I'm going to use my predatory strike, which is attack, attack, and then a third attack with just claws, no weapons. Well, a third attack requires a bonus action. Oh, is it? Okay. Which you use to use your rites.

Fair enough, so I'll do that. Next round, you can do that. The next time around, okay. Two strikes against it. That's a 23 to hit. That hits. And the second one is a 22 to hit. That hits. And the second one is a 22 to hit. 22 hits, yeah. Slice.

Because we can slice together. Two, so that's eight. You can buck around. 17 plus, and I take this damage, five. 17 plus, and I take this damage, five. You got your 17 plus. 22 points of slashing and fire damage. Nice. So carving through, how much was the fire damage total?

Oh, actually, it's five, so it's actually 10 points of fire damage total, and instead of 22, it should be 27 total. I only added it the first time. Right, so seven points of slashing damage? Sorry, 10 points of fire and then 17 points of slashing? Yes. Got it. Correct.

10 points of fire, 17 of slashing. So the flames on your claws burn into its plant body and leave these large, carving black claw marks across its exterior. You can see wherever you carve in, it's almost like instinctual plant muscles pulling away from the wound, trying to hide from the burning sensation.

Ooh! Do a little more damage on that than you expected. All right, does that finish your go? Oh no, yeah, it does. Slick. All right, now it's Orym's go with FCG on deck, but at the end of your turn, it's going tom's go with FCG on deck, but at the end of your turn,

it's going to use its last legendary action to go ahead and Vineswipe, let's say, it's going to Vineswipe you, FCG. Oh! On the prior one, I failed a wisdom save. Am I still incapacitated, or does that wear off? You're incapacitated until the end of its next turn, or until you get hit.

In the end of its next turn? Correct. Okay get hit. In the end of its next turn? Correct. You would miss your next turn otherwise. Gotcha. It's still a disadvantage for attacking exegetes. It is, yes. Natural 19. 19 on the low roll. It hits. Hits for sure.

All right. Sheesh. So it's an auto crit. It's an auto crit. Oh boy. This is at 14 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. Wow, I just got fucked on my own. You're already adjacent to it, so you're not pulled any closer to it,

but you're knocked out of it. I'm now no longer incapacitated. No longer incapacitated, but you took a heavy hit on that one. That's great. All right, now if that brings us to Orym with FCG on deck. I'm going to Eyeball Chetney

and then move around and come into flanking position opposite from the creature. Okay. FCG, cut me a pizza hole in there! I'm going to ready my blade and hope that he can make me a target to hack through. Okay, you got it. All right, that finishes your go, so you're holding your action for that. FC Okay, you got it. All right, that finishes your go, so you're holding your action for that.

FCG, you're up. What's a pizza? Okay, I'll put on my saw blade, which I can do now as a bonus action, is that right? A free action. That's part of your action if you're going to attack. Oh, free action, amazing. I will

whir it up and I'm going to try to aim for a spot where I think maybe Laudna will fall out if we get through in just the right way. I don't know. Okay. Are you doing it from where you're standing? I'm going to rock around to where Orym was. All right, so moving ship to there.

Yeah, like. Got it. I think we're aiming for a spot that maybe we see a little lumpy, bony elbow sticking out or something. Okay. And I'll just cut away and see what happens. Roll for an attack. Come on, work. Nope.

Shit. Two plus four, six. Oh no! You go and it just stops. It gets an inch into it, and then gets caught, and you're like, shit, shit. You pull it free, but there's no momentum on the blade,

and it's a little gummed up. I didn't do what I wanted it to, or I'm sorry. Unfortunately, no. Distraction. Shit on us, and I spring at that shitty spot that he barely nicked. Okay, go for it. Okay. I'm going to use a, nope, I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to attack.

I should still be in flanking. You are, with Chetney. Yeah, with Chet. So that is balls. That's a 15. 15 chest misses. Oh! And then I rolled two 18s for that, so that is a goading attack again.

All righty. That'll be, damn it, six plus. Okay, that's 13 total. Has to make a wisdom save. Not bad. That's a six, so no, it is still goaded and looking towards you, where you imagine its eyes might look

if it had eyes that were visible. Plant dick! Dot com. Dot com! Don't get there. Don't go to plant dick. I apologize in advance. It is on you. I don't even know if that's on you. It is. It will be in a week, if not this.

All right, so that finishes your reaction on that. FCG, you still have a bonus action and a little bit of movement if you want. Ah. Is that good? Oh, you. I can't see her, right? You cannot see her.

You just saw her vanish within the creature. Actually, you wouldn't even see them because you were incapacitated at the time. You were like, for a moment, you weren't even present, and suddenly Laudna's gone, and you're just trying to follow Orym's lead. Shit. You can assume that's likely what happened.

Got it. But. Well, then I can't do anything for her, I'm sorry to say. So yeah, I guess I'll bonus action, Healing Word, Ashton. Thank you. Sure. I mean, let's just get into double digits, would be really nice. I'll do second level Healing Word.

Okay, 2d4 plus three. Oh, terrible. Six points. The whole total? Yeah. The whole thing that you hold? Okay. I'm in double digits. Yay! Good to know.

No! Not by much, but I'm there. Fair enough. Low dose. That's it. That's your turn? Okay, that brings us to you, Ashton. Fuck! I'm running up. I'm going to smash the fucker. Is there anywhere I can go where I'm flanking?

From there. Without too much of a... With FCG, you can flank there. How much movement was that just there? That would have been 20. Perfect. Actually, five, 10, 15 feet. Even better. Betrayal. It's coffee.

All right, since I'm flanking, first attack is... If I swing for caffeine, maybe I'll... Fuck yes, that's what I wanted. That's a natural 20. Woo! Yay! What the ho! I was going to do it anyway, but now I'm even happier.

I'm putting a Chaos Burst into that. Hit that slot machine! Come on, number three. Come on, number three. Ah, that'll do. So let's do a da-da-da-da. Is that right? So damage on that is...

Da-la-la-la. No. Awful. No! Wow. Four thunder damage, upped to eight. Yes! And...

After Dicer doubled, 14 points of just standard damage. You got it. Okay. Smashing. Heady. Let's do this together. Crack with the first attack on the side. There's an impact where you see hardened exterior bark-like armor splinter upon the impact of the hammer.

That's your first strike. Here we go again. Here we go. Here we go. Just all I hear around here, gaga is, here we go. How is this possible that I'm rolling so low? A seven. 16. 16 just in.

Jesus. This gets rolled so high at the start of the game. That's true. There is balance to the force here. Another fucking chaos burst in there because I really want this to be over. Psychic damage, cool. Here we go. So that's three points of psychic damage.

It is plenty. Plus... 14 points of bludgeoning damage to try and get it to throw the motherfucker up. Okay. Any... He did. You didn't know that, mother. Has no intention of vomiting this woman up, does it?

Let's see. It was over 30. You did over 30 with your strikes, too. So actually, that'd be two constitution saving throws. I forgot to do that earlier. 27 total for me if I was not over 30. Well, no, because the fire damage did that more. Right.

Uh-huh. No one does a constitution saving throw at this point. Yeah, so it would have retained its constitution saving throw with you. You did over 30 in one round, so it does make another one. That is a natural 20. So yeah, unfortunately, it's still holding on. Chlor-4 is chained.

However, that second hit, as it cracks between the flame strikes that have carved through it, it's starting to show some wear and tear. Previously, there was a little bit of wounding here and there, but you're like, okay, you're starting to see some real damage show on this entity. I'm going to back off 20 feet into that tree. Into this tree? Yeah.

Here? Yep. Okay. As you back away from there. It's already used its reaction. On Fearne, it did. Yeah. Correct, yeah. Paying attention. Yep, you're good. Nice job. All right, finishing action's go. Laudna, you're up at the top attention. Yep, you're good. Nice job.

All right, finishing Ashton's go. Laudna, you're up at the top of your turn. Oh noes. Oh boy. Fuck. Don't die, dead girl. I tried, I tried. So many dice! I made it. So many dice. That doesn't really matter.

No. Literally doesn't matter at all. No. That is 24 points of acid damage to you. Oh, you're okay. Yeah, that's the end of that. It's not an to you. Oh, you're okay. Yeah. It's not an instant death. It just literally made my eye twitch.

All right, okay. I'm down. Okay. Could have auto killed her. It got close. It could have auto killed her. It got close-ish. It got close. Oops.

Oops. I'm done now. Pop! Campaign three is different, you guys! All bets are off, motherfucker! Okay, hang on. Hang on, hang on, hang on. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

When damage isn't already in your hand, quickly reduce the damage. It clearly isn't, though, so. With the damage taken, there's no way. We've been beating the fuck out of it. A new success, you said. Hitting you with a sword. So I could attempt to roll a natural 20

for showing the grave. You could. I rolled a... Attempted. I rolled an exactly what I needed last time. Come on, natural 20, manifest it. Easy. No! Rolled a 14. Okay, well, at least that's good. That's not a fail.

It's not. It was my ability to stay alive. Yeah, unfortunately. So's not a fail. It was my ability to stay alive. Yeah, unfortunately. So you are a zero. So it brings you to the end of your turn. At the top of the turn, you take a death save and throw out some of it. So don't worry about this turn, necessarily. I hate it, I hate it!

I hate all of it. She's going to acid. Oh my god! So at the top of her turn, she just rolled damage, but the death save would be after. Well, actually, this is interesting, because death saves happen at the start of the turn, but just rolled damage, but the death save would be after. She'll roll two. Would be before that. Actually, this is interesting, because death saves happen at the start of the turn, but the damage you take from this

also at the start of the target's turn. So what if I... I'll say roll a d6 for me. Wait, all of us? Oh. Why? Come on, big dog. Roll a d6. Let's go. On a one to three,

the damage hits before the death save, which means you will take one this turn, and you have to roll. Otherwise, it'll be till next turn. So go ahead and roll. You want a four through six. No big. Come on. I want a four through six. Roll a death save. No, no, no, I hate it.

The next turn, that's an auto-critish. It's three fills. Melee's are auto-carries. This is just acid damage. It's just. It's just acid damage. It's just slowly being digested. It's fine. Come on.

Cling to life. It will be two saves on the next roll. Cling to life. Let's go. What is that? Rolled a 16, which means. Right! No, sorry, that's an 18. What does that mean?

I get a hit point back. You do? What? Because I'm an undead motherfucking bitch. Yes! I am hard to kill. I am made of paper, but I'm technically hard to kill, so I have one hit point again. So you come to consciousness,

you still have your round now. Oh my god! That's fucking crazy, okay. That looks awesome. Whoa. What? awesome. Whoa. What? Whoa. I have two things that help me to keep me from dying. That's great, I love it.

Doesn't mean I can't die, but all right, all right. Here's a half-dissolved woman's corpse. Okay. Yes. Sliding around. Yeah, oh my god. So as I can feel my consciousness waning and I check out for a minute, and I come back and no one could see it,

but if they could, my eyes start glowing green as I can hear Delilah's voice rattling around in my brain. Not yet. There's still much to do. Ooh. Then I'm going to take my Form of Dread as my bonus action. Okay. And start snapping and cracking once again inside.

Maybe you just see bones. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, okay, okay, okay. My d10 for my... No, that sucks! I get three temporary hit points. Wait, three? Hang on, hang on. Wait, you get more hit points?

I get two temporary hit points from my Form of Dread. Form of D on. Wait, you got more hit points? I get to roll temporary hit points from my, um. Form of Dread? Form of Dread. Five, five hit points. Do you also see visions of Whitestone Andy pass before your eyes? Okay. No, Whitestone Andy. No jokes. And then.

So that's your bonus action. See that. Next roll over. Hey, this is me, Whitestone Andy. How you doing? Did you guys see Whitestone Andy's cameo in Legend of Ice and Ice? Yeah, it was the next rope over.

It did. Oh! That's so terrible! Weird thing. Jeez. I know where Ashton popped out. Delilah brought me back, too. Hey!

I saw him. Yeah. I'm supposed to do a minute. Can I? Because it's all smoky and stuff. Can I? You can make a strength check to try it. Can I? But I'm not good at it.

Can I just feel for the hole that he already created and start seeing if I can pry my bony ass out of it? I will say, given this circumstance and the preset hole that you've created in escaping, this can be either an athletics or acrobatics check. All right. Because you've pre-opened that one. Yes, I have. I'll allow that choice.

I made a lot more room than you're going to need. I will definitely take acrobatics because my athletics is minus three. Oh. That'd be fine. Straight roll. Come on, come on, son of a bitch. 14. 14. Natural five plus 6, 11.

So that's good. That's success. So. So you get out? So what you see is a lot in a full form of dread, glowing green eyes. First, you see a wispy smoke and black ichor start pouring out of its wound

before you just see my head. Ace Ventura, if you're right over there. As I claw my way out of it. Oh god. For you, baby! Kill it, kill it! Ah! Ah!

Ah! I'm so fucked up! I died again! Fearne, before I get to know. That's my turn. Do I, can I move? You can move. You're prone, because you come out of it prone, so you can get up and move half your movement if you want.

Oh, I'm going to, can I stay prone, but I flip over? And I do that weird spider climb backwards? Oh yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes! You can definitely do that, because crawling is half movement,

so you can crawl 15 feet away from it on your back. Yes. Oh, yes. You got it. Good spot. Yeah. Before I forget, Fearne, because you did take the damage earlier

and you were concentrating on Flameblade, just make a constitution saving throw. Do you have Warcaster? No. No? Then just roll a de-vex to do so. Great. So add your constitution saving throw. Holy fuck.

Uh, 15? 15, you're fine. So you maintain concentration. All right, so that brings us back to the top. Imogen, you're up. All right, so you maintain concentration. All right, so that brings us back to the top. Imogen, you're up. God, I need a nap. I haven't seen Laudna just... I was going to use a really horrible term.

Just come on out of it. I'm going to circle around the fire and get lined up with the fairy light. I'm going to line up the fairy light with the creature. Right there, you mean? No, to where I've got a straight line fairy light. Oh, I see it right there. Yes, yes, yes. Good call. Through the campfire.

Yeah, through the campfire, I'm eyeing Beau to get him even. I'm going to shoot my hand forward. My eyes are going to flash white. Everything floops up, including the flames on the fire. It starts to flare up a little bit. I'm going to shoot a lightning bolt. Oh shit! Through it all

and try to get both the tail and the creature. Let's go! Let's go. Easy enough to do. I don't have to measure, but it's fun to just visualize. Just barely goes by Laudna. Yeah, the chute behind it as well. Yeah, about 10 feet over Laudna's head,

just as this extremely bright streak of crawling lightning, this snake-like, instant winding of pure energy just strikes through. Both, though the creature, the lure as well, technically can't make a saving throw, so it just takes full damage. So go ahead and roll damage on that. It makes a dex save at our natural one. Yes! So full lightning damage. So go ahead and roll damage on that. It makes a dex save on our natural one.

Yes! So full lightning damage. So that's 8d6. Fuck yourself. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Yep. Dang. Ooh, a lot of sixes.

Ooh! Hmm, 10. 21. 21. 27, 28, 32. 32 points of damage. Of lightning, then. Yeah. Arcs pass, and you see on the far end,

it arc as it ends up disseminating its energy throughout the ground and the floor around. I'm going to just push Laudna five feet away from it, if I can. Oh, I'm too far. You're too far away, yeah, unfortunately. Ooh, can I push anybody else? Would it help, FCG, if I pushed you away?

You don't need that, do you? It has a very long reach. It has a long reach. It doesn't do nothing. We'll say the lure at the end does wither from the- Oh, that's great! Yes! Okay, that's great. It curls and turns to dust on the ground. Yeah, you were going to be the next one.

Yeah, all right. Oh, that's clutch. Your turn. It's real ridiculous. It is now the creature's turn. We'll see if it regrows a lure. Damn! It does not regrow its lure. Okay.

Regrow? You see the vine-like tendril that it carried, it whipped back to the body, and there you see the end of it beginning to create a new bulb, but it's not yet ready. That's free! From where it's standing now, it's going to go ahead and, well, it can't use its Lure Pulse attack,

so it's going to go ahead and use its Hungry Jaws on you. Every time. So it is an attack, so it has disadvantage. Yep. Dick! 15 and a 16 natural. So that's going to be a 23 to hit you. That's fine, that's fine.

So that is 15 points of bludgeoning damage to you, Oshkosh Grass, and you. Oh, am I swallowed? Oh, come on, bitch! That's all right, we got points. I can only have one swallowed at a time, but you guys keep knocking them out, so it's like, I'm going to eat something else.

I'm just trying to get some food in here. Right? It's hungry. Just really hungry. Do the hungry jaws have a huge reach, too, or is it a five feet reach on the hungry jaws? Five feet reach on the jaws. So I could have shoved FCG farther away. It would have helped.

Yeah, I guess it would have. You could have moved five feet and done it. That's true. Just move my chicken to the east. But that's all it can take in its turn, because it's not doing its vine attacks, instead deciding to swallow one of you. Okay, okay. It will...

You know what? Yeah, it's going to shift here a little bit, which means you both get attacks of opportunity out. Who do? Me do it? Who do that? Who do that? Both of you do it. Who do that? Fire Claws, baby! 20 for me.

That hits. 17. 17 hits. Okay, great. This is 12. 12 for me. 20 for me. That hits. 17. 17 hits. Okay, great. This is 12. 12 for me. 12 for you. Five plus five is 10, plus four. So 10 points of slashing damage

and four points of fire or eight, if it's doubled. You got it, it is doubled. Great, decent reaction strikes on it. As it slithers its way across the ground now trying to find a centralized position amongst the cluster of you over there. Uh-oh, why? All right, that finishes its go. That brings us to Fearne.

You're up with you, Chetney, on deck. Everybody run. Okay. Shit. He just centered himself. All right. He doesn't like fire. I am going to cast Scorching Ray at 3rd-level. Yes! Okay. Nice.

And shoot out three Scorching Rays. Like little Spider-Man. I know. Roll the blaster action. All righty, so roll three attacks, adding your spell attack modifier. Oh, it just happens. It happens, but you have to still roll to hit,

so you roll the spell attack modifier to see if you hit the creature three times. That's okay, that's fine. Natural 20 for one. Ooh! Okay, so one of them's doubled. Keep that in mind. Let's roll. Yep. Oh, that's hot. Oh no, that might, oh wow.

Or a one. One of them's a one. Okay. That makes up for the miss. I uncocked it by moving the thing, but that's fine. And the other one doesn't hit. So one natural 20. Okay. Okay.

So go ahead and roll two, it's a third level. Three, 3d6. So you create an additional ray for each level of a second, so roll for an additional ray. So I have one crit, two failures, and then one additional ray. So I get to try again, okay.

No, it's a 10. 10 is aww. All right, so one crit. Let's go 3d6. 2d6, technically. Sorry, two. Oh, balls. Did you drop a grain of sand?

I know. These are terrible. Just little rice kernels. So six. Piece of pepper. No, four. Seven total. On the dice? Doubled? Doubled.

Double! So 14. So 14 fire damage. Yeah. Okay. Which is doubled. It's 28.bled. Double! So 14. So 14 fire damage, right? Which is doubled. 28. Oh, okay, so great. Well, no, I rolled seven. That's not 28, it's 32. Yeah, you rolled a seven,

but you rolled a 20 to hit, so it doubles. So it's 14 and he's vulnerable to fire. Got it. So it's 32. I understand. 28. 17? Wait. Plus 14, 14 is 20. Sorry, I was thinking 16, my brain. That's totally on me. All right, so 28 points of fire damage to it. Okay. Sorry, 14, I was thinking 16, my brain. That's totally on me.

All right, so 28 points of fire damage to it. Okay. Nice! No, no, it's 32, man. It's 32. It's fine, thank you for that. That could have been so fun. For some reason, my brain, I was thinking 16. Hey, for one out of four hitting and still doing 28 points of fire damage,

that's pretty slick. Yeah, true, true, true. Okay, I'm not going to do that. It's looking rough. Okay, so that's your action to go ahead and cast that. Is there anything else you'd like to do on your turn? Just thought I'd do that. Ugh. Can I?

No, I can't answer that. Can I? Every time in my life? I don't know. I'm having a problem today. Could I try to get to Laudna and try to pull her back? Pull her which direction?

To pull her away, like go over and under the armpits and try to just wiggle into the- I can say you can wiggle her with the rest of your movement that far. Okay, what's that thing that we're next to? That's my light. That's her light. Okay, good, we're good, we're good. Okay.

That finishes your go. That's my turn, that's my turn. All right, and if it's her turn, it's going to go ahead and use the legendary action to do a vine swipe. This one is going to be... I don't want to go back in. Not like this. Not like this.

No, you're the one who's immediately hit by a twist, you just struck it. She's still down and I'm fine. She does disadvantage to that. That'll be a 15 to hit? No. Wow. I disadvantage help.

Oh man, goading it back. All right, as that finishes your go, that brings us to your turn, Chetney. Come on. Rushes up. That's only 17 to hit? 17 hits. Okay. Second one, natural one, balls. And 18, 24 to hit. That hits, so two hits. Two hits. Oh, great.

10 plus, oh, five. So 10 slashing, five fire, or 20 total. We should go with the 10 fire. Great, 20 on the one strike. Second one is another five, so 10. And three, so 16 total. Which goes to 10 fire. Great. 20 of them. Second one is another five, so 10 and three. So 16 total, three fire. That's added in there, sorry, I should clarify. That's okay, no worries.

The last one is, oh! It was one hit, right? It was, that was it. Sorry, there were two hits on that. Just the two. Still, that's great. 36 damage and two strikes there. That's enough damage in one round

to make a constitution saving throw. Puke! That's a four. Yeah, no, it fails. It pukes up. Yes! Before you even take acid, you're playing D.Va. Drops you onto the ground next to Chetney, just covered in this molasses-type,

dark brown digestive fluid. Foul. I was a plant! Whoa, thanks, I was a plant, briefly. All righty, does that finish your turn, Chet? It does. All right, that brings us to Orym with FCG on deck. All right, the best thing you can do.

At the end of your turn, it's going to go ahead and use another Legendary Action to go ahead and Vineswipe. This one is going to be, it's going to be you, Orym. That is a natural 20. Oh! Okay. Nose. It is angry.

It does not like. It's heat. It's so hungry. We all get a turn on the water slide. 20 points of bludgeoning damage to you. Yeah, yeah. And you are pulled adjacent to it. Pulled adjacent? Yeah. Right next to it. How much points of bludgeoning damage to you. Yeah, yeah. And you are pulled adjacent to it. Pulled adjacent?

Yeah. That's about right. Right next to it. How much points of bludgeoning? 20. 20? I'll take half of that, please. Okay. Oh boy. Absorb half. So you take 10,

and then you take 10 temporary hit points. Yes. Nice. Okay. Because you're coming up. Yes. Okay. Hope I can use them. Because that would not be good. Okay, so the best thing I can do is keep this thing distracting,

so I'm going to continue to maneuver opposite Chetney. I'm going to use a bonus action to do Second Wind. Get some of that back. Eight. His farts are much smaller, though. Of course. I got that hyper much smaller, though. Of course. I got that hyper-routine shake out. Yeah.

I'm going to jump out and punt up into the air and slash it across the face. It's like, leave us the fuck alone, spinach dick. That is... You got more specific which type of dick he is. That's a 26. That definitely hits. And the second one is a 20, so they both hit.

Both hit. And we'll make the first one a goading attack. This is the one. Goading attack, all right. That's going to be an 11, it fails. 11 total from that one. Nice. Then eight for the second.

All righty, so striking both twice. You're cutting through and you're watching chunks of vine and heavy root bark, armored pieces fall off and crack from your blows as you pull back, shield at the ready. It's looking to hurt. It also does no damage, but I kick it one time. That's it.

Good on you, for good measure. All out as a free action. Okay, finishes your turn? Yes, all done. Your turn's going to use its last legendary action. This one's going to go for you again. Okay. That is going to be a 20 to hit.

Yeah, that hits. Ooh. Okay, that is 12 points of bludgeon a 20 to hit. Yeah, that hits. Okay. Ooh. Okay, that is 12 points of bludgeoning damage to you. Got it then. And you're already adjacent to it. Okay. All right, that finishes your go. FCG, you are up with Ashton on deck.

All right, I'm going to try to end this. I'll fire up the old buzzsaw. Vroom, vroom, vroom! And I will... Do you want to get up? It's like a Dremel. Yeah. Yeah. Woo!

You are lying on your back on the ground. Oh, I got to get up. I got to get up. There you go. To get down. Whoop! Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. You know that, Diesel?

I'm going to try to chop down the tree. Go for it. Go ahead and roll an attack. Come on! You can do it. 16 plus six. That hits. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Come on. All right. Oh, 16 plus four. Plus four. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Come on. All right. Oh, 16 plus four. Plus four, 20 still hits, yeah.

30-dirty dirt! I can't believe this. It's six points plus the 10 that I absorbed. 16 points of damage? 16 points of damage. Wow. Hell yeah. How do you want to do this? Yeah!

Right on the cross. No! Lower! Ooh! Lumber! Lumber! Lumber! It's funny because I was just watching lumber sports with my kids. Showing them how ridiculous it is. But yeah, I'll put it in overdrive so a little smoke starts going out. And I'll say,

oh, all life is precious, but not a weed! I'll just chop it down. And try to just chop down the tree, yeah. So as you push into it, you carve through, you can see where the sections where previous friends of yours had carved through or pushed through have greatly reduced its central integrity,

never mind being crushed rapidly by two giant boulders and then being blasted with a bolt of electricity. As you carve through, you find every tether that's holding most of its upper torso aloft and just. Yes! We're talking like Judge Doom hitting the chains at the end of the log. Yeah!

You just come all the way through and you watch as it I don't know which way it's going to fall. It tumbles off. You know what? Let's go ahead and roll the C. No, no, no, no, no! Okay. Let's go ahead and... Ashton Lott and Berth Canal got started

and the exegete finished. It fell this way. Hey! So you guys are fine. So as you're spattered with this heavy brown sap-like life liquid of the creature, as it falls to the ground, and you see its vines are still writhing and moving,

even though the creature itself is very plainly dead or on the cusp of expiring, a lot of its appendages haven't quite gotten the notification and are still moving and curling. Gross. That's gross. You got mail. That was cool. You did. I didn't know.

I walk over to where Fearne is. I'm like, are you all right? Jesus. Oh, I'm just fine. Fire. Fire. How are you? Fire. Oh, like to burn it up? Burn it, burn it all.

I'm fucking done. Oh yeah, just slashing at it with the claws then. Fire, fire, fire. I just send a... Leave no trace. Use my Mage Hand to send the flames down to the creature and set it on fire from our campfire. You're pushing your campfire down? Pushing the campfire down.

That's cool. I set it on fire. That is rad. Okay. And as I do that, I'm just going to leap down and run towards Laudna. Okay. As you all begin to press into carving into it, and as you burn through, you see that there is an aspect of its body that is trying to re-tether.

You see part of it is attempting to regrow, but as you are flaming claws and yourself beginning to push all this flame and magical fire towards its body, it prevents that process until you find the heart of where it is. It's this hard, baseball-sized acorn-like center of it. You pull it forth and crush it in your flaming claws.

As you do, you remove all the hanging tethers off of it and the whole thing immediately seems to turn to a grayish color. All the extremities that were still twitching go lax. Are there any fairy nubs on the outside? Make an investigation check. Fairy nubs. Oh, what a good idea.

We have little bulbs? Yeah. That's a 10. 10? Yeah. You find the one that was trying, but it's way too underdeveloped. That looks like a potato. Very sorry. one that was trying, but it's way too underdeveloped. Ah, that looks like a potato.

Very sorry, I definitely misjudged that situation. What do you mean? Very much. We were just asleep and it attacked us, right? Oh, you guys were asleep while we woke up because we thought there was a fairy. So I went to go get rid of it, and then it turned into something else. Or it was something else the whole time, rather. Well, you got to trust your instincts.

I don't know if I should. You should trust your instincts. I'm going to give two peck scritchies. This with the fur. Oh. Wait, did you say peck? Peck Screechies. Peck Screechies. She said, peck Screechies.

Oh, big boy. Fight it. Be cool. How's everybody doing? FCG, can you help Laudna? Well, she's already dead. I'm just kidding. Yeah, of course. What do you need?

You need some healing? I guess I can heal everybody a little bit, right? Do you have that, you can sit down for a minute. I do. I mean, are we going to, how deep were we in this sleep? About what time of day is it? Oh, this is still very dark out. It is.

That was the first watch, wasn't it? Yeah, it was the end of the first watch. So you're still pushing right at about... I thought it was the third watch. No. I'm trying to remember from last time. It's probably the third. I thought so, too.

So compromise and call it second watch. Well, in any case, can we just take a long rest? It's still finishing up the watches for the night. Yeah. But I mean, can we add to our long rest and just start it over again? I don't think we'd start it over, it would be finishing out the long rest.

How does that work? I would say with the exertion that's happened here, it would have to be more or less a reset of the long watch. Second watch? Okay. So we'll say it would be sleeping in a bit for the morning. Because you guys did go to bed a little early last evening, so it was probably going to be at the cusp of dawn,

waking up. Now you can push a few more hours past that and still get your long rest. Great. Yes. So do you need some healing, or? Oh, I think I'll be all right. All right. You were amazing.

By the way, immaculate. That's like throwing the boulders around? Incredible. Thankfully no one was inside when that happened. What was it like? In there? Dark. Slimy.

Prickly. Smell a little like eucalyptus, actually. Yeah, a little bit. Very comforting, though. Actually, you just felt all warm and wrapped up and safe. Getting out was odd. There was a whole pressure that like, oh. Takes a move of it off. Does it burn when I touch it?

It gives a tingling sensation, but you get the sense that it's a combination of mixture between whatever digestive fluids were inside of it and whatever blood-like fluid has been sprayed around its vicinity. So whatever extremely dangerous escecda property has been greatly diminished in that mixture. It definitely burned a little bit.

Yeah, no, it definitely burned. You don't want to keep any of this then? In a vial or whatever? Well, I don't think it would hurt, just in case. Yeah, I'll just scoop some off of FCG. Mm-hmm. Keep it. Then I'll just press a Digitation and clean them up and get some of that goo off of everybody that was inside, if you don't mind.

Nope, nope, don't mind at all. Your skin. Oh my god, that's right. Oh, she's still blue? Oh yeah, she is deep navy nightcrawler blue. All over? Or just? Just the skin. Just my skin, but my hair's still purple.

There still is your purple lavender coloration. I mean, it looks very cool. Yeah, but I mean, what, how did, why did that happen? I don't know, I just cast a spell and then that's never happened before. Oh no, are you losing your magic? Because we left the city and now you've lost your powers.

I don't think that's true. If anything, this is more powers. Power to turn blue. How big were those boulders that she picked up? Just your powers. I don't think that's... If anything, it's more powers. Power to turn blue. How big were those boulders that she picked up? Were they like Orym size or larger? No, they would have been less than Orym size. They probably would have been about 15 to 20 pounds. Yeah. Okay.

Each. So about a good solid, you know, like a heavy shock put, if not a... Damn. Big-ass kettlebell? Yeah, big-ass kettlebell, actually. It'd be a good reference. Can you do anything? Do we do anything?

I don't know. I don't. Does it hurt? I don't feel any different. I'm just... Blue. When weird shit happens to me, I just go to sleep and hope that it goes away in the morning. I mean, it never does, but I hope that it goes away in the morning. I mean, it never does, but I just hope it goes away.

I mean, I don't know how it could get worse. I mean. It could get worse. Oh god. Oh no, are you turning into a werewolf? Yes. Look, you're beautiful on the inside, just as you are on the outside, no matter what.

It would be weird if you turned into a werewolf, though. That would be weird. That would be weird. Why? Well, it's just, you know, it's a lot of, it's not that you're, it would just be unexpected. And then it's a two werewolf group, and then it's just, I mean.

Right, the balance would be thrown off. Okay. You got to let your thing be your thing. Thank you. You're welcome. Maybe it'll go away after a good night's sleep. And if not, I'm sure we can find somebody in the next town to undo this, unless you decide you really like it next time you see it.

It's a vibe. I guess I'd like to see it in a mirror, and I don't really know what I look like. I mean, do you? It's a vibe. This has never happened before. Never. That's a vibe. This has never happened before. Never. That's for sure. The rock thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I've done that before. I mean, never with two at once. Maybe it was overkill? No, I mean the weird purple. Oh, the rock thing! The crystal. The rock. Oh my god. Or was it this one? Is it the one?

You have one in your head? I've got so many weird rocks on me! What are you getting all these rocks? Did I miss one? We got one from the bunny rabbit. Yeah, that's the one in my hair. And then we got another one from the thing. The creature.

What creature? The big mother. The shade mother. Oh, I didn't know that one of the thing. From the creature. What creature? The big mother. The Shade Mother. Oh, you know what that does? No, we haven't checked it out yet. It transforms it. Yeah, that's right. It transforms you! Into what?

I don't know. It's part of that fey stone or something. You're dying. I don't smell you. I don't smell. You don't smell moldy like she did. Do you need me to identify it for you? Identify me?

No! Oh, well, maybe I should. You already identified this. I did, okay. And you already identified this. So we're good. We're good. I'm as identified as, could you identify me? Uh-huh. Would that work? Here, look at me. Okay, I'll put down my lens

and try to magically glean what is Imogen. Look, you've already mind-melded. You don't glean any additional information. I'm just me. My lens magnifies the pores on your skin. Oh god, stop it. Well, it's just, you should probably exfoliate. Really?

Just a little bit. Really, letters? There's a few blackheads. I don't mind, I don't mind. Don't. No, I'm walking away from that. Okay, what? Walking away from that. You got a violent accident. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Oh wow, that was a good one. That felt good, yeah. It felt better. Thank you. I'm so sorry. Whoever you you. I'm so sorry. Whoever you are, I am so sorry. I hate it. God. It just feels so, it's so bleh.

You want to be a cleaner? Oh! Open. Not okay. Rotten butter. Just the white coming out of the blue skin. Stop! So who's taking watch?

I will, just to get away from this. Okay. I'm like,. Well, that's in there now, fuck. So you have about an hour in this form still, right? So yeah, so you take that. 55 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Last thing I think of before I die, thank you. All right. So we'll continue this. We'll say this is a continuation of second watch. So if you want to go ahead and roll a perception check. Oh yeah. With advantage, because you're smelling for the air. 14. 14, okay.

The rest of you more exhausted folk immediately get some sleep. Yes, I face plant in the dirt and immediately pass out. I leave a little halo of flowers around Laudna's head as she passes out to get rid of some of the decomposition smell. Oh, well, that's always there. It's a constant. I know.

You get used to it. How long did it take? I don't even smell it anymore. I don't know. I smell it. I like it. It's earthy. It's musky. Yeah. It's from the earth. It's like fallen leaves. Have of like it. It's everything. It's musky. Yeah. It's from the earth. It's like fallen leaves.

Have some more flowers. All right, who would like to take the third watch for the evening? I can do it. As you revert back. I'll do it, too. Okay, both of you. Both of you make perception checks, please,

while you go ahead and walk around the circle three times before you finally her asleep. Ooh. Funny. Ooh. Four. Four? 12. 12, okay.

You both carry on for the third watch, feeling pretty confident that you've been keeping an eye out here. The mists have grown thick. The temperature has grown coldest it gets before the dawn hits. We already killed everything in the area that would come to get us here, so I think we're safe.

Unless the noise called creatures from further around and now they're on their way. Oh. That's possible. But I'm looking and I don't see shit, so I think we're fine. Yeah, I think we're fine. I don't see anything. Yeah.

Yeah. Never be seen again. First hour into your watch, you notice the surrounding jungle beginning to grow slightly brighter and brighter. As the sun begins to be gone. There it was. As you are sleeping further into the day,

you do take the first few hours of your final watch here as the morning light does greet the jungle. Still choked by the thickened canopy above, but nevertheless, you do have some visual presentation around you as you begin to prepare yourselves for the journey ahead. Until eventually the rest of you begin to come to consciousness,

you can all take your long rest. Yay! Oh my god. Thank you! Never again. Thank you for coming! Who am I kidding? Ah. Okay. I wake up just a little bit earlier than everybody else.

I'm already working furiously. A pile of wood chips nearby. It's small, exquisite, mysterious. May I do a little quick look around for any herbs? Sure, go ahead and make a nature or medicine check. Would you like some help with that? I would love some. All right, I'll just help her.

Okay, so you have advantage on the roll. Okay. I'm going to put that one away because it hasn't been rolling well. That's not much better. What was it? Nature or medicine? Nature or medicine, your choice. Eight.

Eight. Eight. It's a weird area. I try. You walk around a bit and you kind of, it's tough in this area, because a lot of the plants around here are more like larger, pardon the term, ferns, and other things that lack any sort of medicinal quality. larger, pardon the term, ferns,

and other things that lack any medicinal quality. You do find one odd clump of destroyed vegetation that has this unique, almost like a sap, like a dark brown sticky sap coming out of it. And as you go toward it, touch it, it tingles the end of your fingers. And as you go up to check and see what she's found, you realize, oh, this is just the body of the thing you killed last night,

and that this is useful. Oh, oh, oh, I thought it was something. Okay. It did look weird. It did, it did. The horses are getting somewhat restless. You hear the not too far. Am I still blue in the morning?

You are still blue. Oh no. Why? Well. Clear pores. Wow. Well. Clear Pore Stone. Do you need me to... I don't know if I can do anything today, but if this persists, maybe tomorrow I could do something,

some sort of spell to restore you in a lesser way to your former self, maybe? I don't know. Yeah. It's quite a vibe, honestly. I know, I don't know. Yeah. It's quite a vibe, honestly. I know, I don't mind it horribly, but I mean, it doesn't hurt at all. But yeah, I mean, if it starts to affect me in some other way, I certainly...

Okay. Yeah. Did the creature do anything to you? Not that I know of. Wow. What? It's just, you're very of. Wow. What? It's just, you're very blue. Well.

It kind of reminds me of those, remember when we were walking through the street and we were in the red light district and we saw those tiefling women who were doing the little burlesque dances? And they had the beautiful full skin and red little titty tassels? Oh, should I get some titty tassels? You should red, little titty tassels. Those are great. Oh, should I get

some titty tassels? You should totally get some titty tassels. So what? It's a vibe, sure. Yes. It's a vibe, it's a vibe. I like it. Yeah. I like it. Maybe when we're in the next town, I can look at some titty tassels.

All right. All right. But I can make some. Yeah. Got this red yard. I mean, if we're going full crafting, we are literally surrounded by trees and leaves. They're basically nature's titty tassels at that point. This is like my lumber yard, so you just say it

and you'll have some wood tassel. Wooden titty tassels. Well, if you can carve two little hearts, you know, and then Imogen could add, Laudna could add some flair. Oh, yes. I was about to say that it was like having Dorian around, but all coherent thought left about 30 seconds ago.

Yeah. Can I go? Yeah. I'll pick up some horse crap pieces of wood that are around the campsite and just tuck them back behind my harness. And as I wander just a little bit over, on the map, is that little toadstool house anything,

or is it just something that made it onto the map, or is that a secret thing that we should explore? This here? Yeah, that thing. Yeah, so you go over and approach that. You walk up towards it and you've seen something like this far off in the jungle, but this is the closest you've been to one. You see this cluster of large fungus

that grow to about three feet tall, so just a little below your height. The center of it, you can see this dull, grayish coloration striated as it goes up, and where the cap is, it has this odd, dark, dark purple coloration to it. Does it smell like fungi?

You can make a medicine or nature check if you'd like to try and identify it. All you've managed is my nature check. I'm not looking. 14. 14. You're not entirely certain what this is, but it's definitely of a fungal variety.

Poke? of a fungal variety. Poke. Does it do anything? You poke it? With the wood chisel. Okay. Yep. You poke it and you watch as the cap retracts in slightly. A cloud of spores

showers around you. I need you to make a constitution saving throw. Oh shit! Jett, are you coming? 14. 14, okay. Make a death save. You only take eight points of poison damage. No! Oh!

Holy shit! And your senses go fuzzy for a second, almost like you're instantaneously drunk. Like you're four cubs deep in a tavern and you shake it off. You still feel a little woozy and a little nauseous, but you feel like you're glad you're heartier than maybe some other folk,

and you stumble away for a moment. So those years. You all right? Are you okay? Yep, there's a cap of fungus over there. Don't touch them. They go poof! Good trip or bad trip? Bad, good.

I don't know, it depends on how you feel when you're like this. Do you feel bad or good? You would know. Yes. Oh, I You would know. Yes. I don't know. I'll get back to you in an hour. Everything's moving. Y'all need to quit tipping the earth. Oh.

How about we get in on the con? The earth, it's flat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. That's true. No! What is that? Is there a stone or something in front of a tree?

That right there is a piece of ruined terrain. Do you want to investigate it? Yeah! Oh, really? Guys, you're going to start paying attention. We should pay attention to these guys. Go ahead and make an investigation check. We'll check out every piece of the forest. Matt!

What the fuck? I'll assist on that. Anybody want to help? Yeah, you want to help me? I'm interested. Oh, you're doing it? What are we investigating? No. What are you looking for? I'm investigating. I will Guidance you.

Oh, great. We don't. Jesus. Add a d4? It doesn't even matter. With advantage. With fucking advantage. It's a rock.

Nine. Good night, set stone. You inspect it and there's not much to find here. You can see what looks to be elements of a long toppled structure, whether it is nearby or was jettisoned here, you're uncertain. Looking around, it stands out a little odd

in the vicinity of what is a very, very heavily wooded, dense jungle area. It looks old. Does anyone know anything about ruins in this area? Have y'all heard anything about it? Is anyone here proficient with history? I am. Go ahead and make a history check. I will about it? Is anyone here proficient with history? I am. Go ahead and make a history check.

I will say, even though you're proficient with it, I'll say disadvantage because you are not familiar with Marquesian history as much. I'm proficient as well, but historical events, legendary people, or ancient kingdoms. I rolled, wow. You would have advantage when it comes to specifically pertaining to a certain type of creature.

Got it. This is fascinating. Oh, that's it. Ooh! I rolled two 19s. Whoa! Dang. So that's a 26. Whoa! 26. You don't know specifically anything about what this might pertain to,

but even looking at elements of it, you do recognize that there are elements of old elvish architecture visible in some of the curvatures of the stones, some of the details and markings that are on the merge points where what looks to be a pillar, some sort of a load-bearing pillar.

It's at an angle which tells you that it didn't crumble, but it landed at an odd angle. The cracking of it means that it probably landed with a heavy impact. And it's just a piece of wall or structure with that carving design. Correct. It's like a stone? It is stone.

It is elvish in nature, and it looks, based on just the level elements of erosion here, it is very old, like pre-calamity old. Whoa. I'll do a 360 and see if there's any more to be seen. Make a perception check. Are there words or anything on it?

Is there writing on it that you saw? Elven, I don't speak, and it's... There's no language there across it. He just recognized the architecture based on his history check. That's a 20. 20 for perception? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Looking around here in the early morning, you do not see any other signs of similar architecture. Well, I let them know that. You didn't. I will say, with a high enough history check, you do know that, at least in Marquet, there were some climactic elements that happened during the Calamity

that scarred the landscape heavily. You do recall that what is now the Rumadam Desert was not a desert, but a jungle itself. And at one point, there was a flourishing elf and orcish society in the desert that was essentially wiped off of Exandria in one fell strike by a Betrayer God. And your mind tells you,

The whole city just like, The whole city in the jungle that's now a desert. Whoa. This is debris? Mm-hmm. Looks real old. Mrs. Dupree. Oh, Dupree, yeah. I was like, who's Dupree?

You'll find out soon. I got to pick up some notes, you guys. Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I think we're looking at history. Just go up and touch it. Yeah. Just never been and touch it. Yeah. Just never been around anything this ancient before. It's very pretty.

Well, horses are going to Nancy. Yeah, yeah, we need to go. Oh god, are all the horses there? You go and check on the horses from the night before. Oh god. And they're all counted for your fire. That's unheard of. Is there any part of the ruin that can be broken off?

Anything we can take with us from the ruin? Maintain some sort of. Or will I want to take a piece of it with me? You're going to take a piece of history. Well, it's just sitting here in the middle of a jungle. Yeah, it's not going to go. Well, what else is it going to do? If it was part of a museum, I certainly wouldn't try.

Yeah. Yeah, you can go ahead. If you have the tools, or somebody has the tools, like a hammer and chisel. Laudna, can I borrow your hair? Oh! She has a hair loss. Just rip out a piece of hair. Not actually your hair, I meant the hammer at you.

Oh, that! Oh, it's real. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah. Okay. It takes you a little bit of time, but it looks like, I will say for the purposes of this,

just go ahead and roll a d20 and add either your strength or dexterity modifier. Every archaeologist in our inner I know, well, I just wanted to get it looked at. I'm not yet. No, it's great. I'm trying to. This is not a real place. We're fine. Ooh, okay. Should we leave him out?

Just take some photographs. What is it, a strength or dexterity modifier? 19. Okay, even so. It's a little rough. Anything that would be easy to pick off has already eroded over time. So everything that still remains

and still holds its place here is fairly solid. So you have to go ahead and check at which angles the existing details, the long eroded details of it might give you a point that you could hammer at the right angle and cause part of it to crack off and still be identifiable, that carry some semblance of the architecture with you.

And you manage to do so. It takes you a good 15 or 20 minutes, especially with some help of your friends, to gauge it. And you get a piece about this big that you can see carries in it part of the arch, carries in some of the scrolling, and as best as you could feel comfortable carrying,

that would possibly survive the trek, as long as you have something to keep it in. Okay. Should we leave a note? No, I think we should just head out. Okay. What would you say in the note? Dear...

Dear... Ancient civilization. Or no, I was just going to say, dear explorer who's studying history, if this piece that we've taken could solve the riddles of history, you can contact us at... Lord Eshteross.

At Lord Eshteross' house in J'zar. I'm going to start carving this right into the wall. No! No! We're doing it more! Let's go, let's go! All right, let's go. Mount up! All right. You gather your supplies and one by one,

take to the backs of your horses once more, beginning to carefully trot back towards the main road, leading you northward. I give some nose nuzzies to surf floppers. Just good boy. Got lip bites at your cheek a little bit. On top of heart, you just hear, barracuda.

Oh. Yeah! Yeah. Imogen sings to herself, trotting off. Deeply blue. Somebody had a night. Indeed. Go get it!

Indeed. You look like a vinyl album. I'm feeling it. Yep. It's amazing. Trekking back towards the safer roads to complete what is hopefully to be your final day of travel towards Heartmoor Hamlet.

As you just begin to see the edges of the jungle give way to rising bogland, wetland, and the trees that dot the marsh of the Heartmoor itself. And we're going to take a break. Yay! We'll be back here shortly to pick up from that point. But yeah, thank you for chilling with us. We'll see you shortly.

Yes! Oh, hey there. Laura Bailey here to tell you all about from that point. Um, but yeah, thank you for chilling with us. We'll see you shortly. Yes. Oh, Hey there, Laura Bailey here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories. Our stores are filled with the basics like character inspired t-shirts, dice sets, and pins, as well as more specialty items like fancy jackets,

puzzles featuring gorgeous artwork, the comfiest joggers and pajamas ever, and much, much more. There's also a few special items that support charity efforts, like our dedicated Critical Role Foundation merch. You can check out all of our regional online stores by visiting the shop tab on critrole.com or head straight to the U.S. store at shop.critrole.com. Every purchase helps support our shows and the stories we tell. Speaking of which, let's get back to the story. And welcome back.

So, as you all trek away from your evening of not quite as restful sleep as you would have hoped, you get back onto your horseback and head towards the main road

and begin to lead your way towards the Heartmoor itself. Beginning to transition from the thick jungles that you've been familiar with here in the Ardeeeran Wilds, you watch as the marshlands progressing deeper, deeper into these wetlands. The tall, robust jungle trees begin to give way to curled, draping behemoths and towering, tangled mangroves that rule this sodden, oddly beautiful landscape

and its comparably dreary atmosphere. You see vibrant, deep greens mingle with the masses of gray moss to present a uniquely earthy patchwork of colors and textures along the bog-swallowed hills that surround you. Now, the main road and path, it looks like it has been continuously filled

with gravel and dirt to maintain an elevated road, but even at times, to the immediate right and left, it drops off into marsh water. You can see the occasional root growing through. There are all manner of hills that rise up beyond, but the heavy fog, which I should hit here, does choke the vision. Don't make me make you make constitution saving throws

with the cold. Chokes the far distant visibility beyond about 300 or 400 feet, where you can just see the shadows of distant swamp trees. Pushing forward, though, you do see this is a well-worn trek, and even maybe the first hour of your journey into the marshlands here in the Heartmoor,

you can hear the distant sound of horse hooves, as a small grouping of four horses and two carts begin to pull up alongside you. You set off to the side and you can see a group of footed figures nod as they pass on, heading southward into the wilds from where you once came. Pushing on about halfway through your day of travel.

Do they look heavily armed or anything? Make a perception check. Come on, we just got to let them go by, that's all right. At least tell them, watch out for fairies. No. No? Just do one roll. 15. That's not what it was.

Great, 20. There were no fairies. They don't look any more armed than people that are traversing dangerous terrain. You do not see heavy armor. You do not see mercenary attire. You see standard clothing with general travel protection, leathers, leather armor, but from what you can tell,

it does not appear to be scuffed or scarred. The weapons are sheathed and are there just as a protective mechanism, but you do not get the sense that they are, you know. Crazy. Armed. Yeah, they're out here with dubious intent. Did they look like they were traveling or were they protecting cargo?

The two carts that you can see traveling behind them, both were covered and you can see thick tarps were placed over them and tied down with ropes at different rivets along the way. Differing levels. You couldn't probably tell it was being carried in them, but it looks like they were bringing with themselves

some sort of materials, whether it be for trade or transport. Excuse me. Anything to note from the direction you're coming from? Any dangers to be wary of? You're shouting this as they're passing you, like this. Yeah. Look back and look over at you.

Stay on the road. You too. The fairies aren't real. He looks over and keeps going. That was good. Keep an element of mystery. Can't do it all for him, you know. I don't know. A few hours of additional travel from there,

the swamp lands around you definitely start carrying more unique color. You can see maroon undertones in patches of moss and clusters of fungus that begin to show up at the edges of some of these hills. You can see small cliffs that begin to rise up where swamp trees twist upward and then bend down, leaving these long, draping vines and boughs

that leave these grayish, almost lavender-colored, moss-like leaves that drift down and actually touch the surface of the water and go below. You can watch as the water itself is often disturbed by fish or other things that lurk beneath, just ripples shifting outward. You, Orym, notice a little ways up ahead, there is a small, lazy trail of smoke.

This little plume that is drifting a little ways off the left-hand side of the road. So veered away from the line of the road that we're on. All right. Maybe some people stopped off in that direction. You see that? Can I see anything? As you guys get slowly closer, you begin to see,

because the pathway where the road itself is on, sometimes it's very thin, and they've actually had to carve out and maintain a pockmarked, perpetually challenging portion of roadway that is fighting erosion and falling into the swamp. You can see there's older, packed dirt versus newer, fresher dirt and gravel that's constantly being put on to maintain it. Other areas widen up and become comfortable,

where it looks like either a hill has been somewhat shaved or you actually follow the road up over towards a top hill where there is small gatherings of trees and a semblance of more natural forest and jungle land around here before it descends back into the swamp. This area rises up slightly, and as you glance off the side of the path,

you see maybe about 30 or feet off what looks to be an often stopped at resting point. You can see there's an area where a few trees have been cleared. You can see there are four or five spots where it looks like small stone circles have been placed, where there is blackened charcoal left behind and dirt. Looks like many camping spots are maintained in this region.

There you see a handful of horses and a small group of five figures that are currently picking up their camp. You see one of them is currently throwing dirt onto the fire, but the road continues onward in the direction you've been traveling. How much farther to the Heartmoor?

Orym stands up. You see a female silver-scaled dragonborn. Most dragonborn you've seen are broader, but this one has a very thin, almost snake-like lithe physicality to them. Her neck is tall and the head itself comes to this very striking point. These very bright golden eyes

that peer through these side slits as the bundled hood that sits around the shoulders pushes back as she stands up. You have maybe about three hours this way. Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much. Of course. Do they at all look like they were dressed

anything remotely cloaked or anything like the people that we saw previously? Make a perception check. Could I use advantage for perception because I'm looking and smelling at all sorts of stuff. You could try it. You can say if you want to smell, if they smell similar to them,

but you get that advantage only as your sense of keen sense. Okay, fine. Just a 12. Yeah. They smell like they've been traveling for a long time and probably need a bath. Where are you all coming from? We are traveling from the south.

Are we traveling to Zapdos? I know. Better day for travel. Did we come from the south? So far, it seems, the weather has been helpful. She smiles, the toothy grin that curls across the face, holding her hand out to gesture the lack of rain. But indeed.

What about your companions? Where do you come from? Recently, Jussar. Very well. Good luck. Stay safe. Avoid the fairies. They're not real. Even those who are real should probably be avoided.

Starts going back to. Wait, what's your name? What's your name? My name is Hutchin. Hutchin? These are my companions. She turns back over her shoulder and you get a closer view. The other ones are keeping a little huddle away.

They're a little, you get immediately the sense that some of them are not very trustful and one of them is not even paying attention. You see what looks to be a male Qatari, but of an Egyptian cat variety, hairless, with just this heavily wrinkled gray skin across the head, big pointed ears off to the sides, and bright yellow wide eyes,

and small pursed cat-like nose in the front. Themselves wearing a big thick leather mantle and another bundled cloak, similar coloration as to the one that Hutchin is wearing. You can see them putting a hunter's bow over their shoulder and is just staring at you as their eyes narrow, inspecting each of you as they go. You see a human female who has a drum

tucked under the side of their travel garb, just general travel clothing. You see them put together a hunting knife away. You can now notice that one of the things that they're currently wrapping up looks to be a mostly cooked, partially eaten body of some sort of a jungle cat that has been skinned, cleaned, and has been prepared for travel.

So you get the sense of a hunting aspect of this troop. You do see a small male goblin as well that has a small upturned nose that's wide and pressed against the center of the face. And these almost like a light pinkish color, almost red eyes that you think are bloodshot at first, but it's just the coloration they have that contrasts against the faint yellow-green coloration.

They're just staring and picking up equipment quietly before they turn away. You see, to the very back, currently grabbing the horses and petting them, and hasn't even noticed your arrival here, you see a tall female firbolg with a big, bushy black mane of hair that comes out of her head and pours past the shoulders

and it completely, for the most part, covers her eyes. You do not see the eyes, you just see the nose and mouth poking out from underneath and she's currently brushing one of the horse's manes. At this point, Tatran looks over at the rest of you. And you are? Oh, my name is Fearne.

Fearne, yeah. We're Bell's Hells, rather than introducing all of us individually. We're just traveling through. You have a name. What sort of work do you do to have a name? We're multi-talented. It really depends on the situation where, you know.

Performers? Oh, well, not particularly. Yeah, sometimes. If the job calls for it, we could be diplomats. We could be mercenaries. Freelance life. Anything you want. We could be diplomats. We could be mercenaries. Freelance life. Anything you want.

Jacks of all trades. That is useful. There's always a chance one of us knows how to solve a problem. You are working within the Wilds, heading to the Hamlet, I presume, seeing as how you're traveling along the Daldel Road. I'm going to throw a quick Detect Thoughts

on maybe the Qatari? On the Qatari? Yeah. Okay. So you wheel up closer. So as with any, so the components of the spell are? Oh boy. A copper piece. I got, I eat those for breakfast.

So there's no verbal? Oh, verbal, somatic, and yeah, it's everything. Well, I get to be good to you. That's why. It's infantile. That's how I cast spells. When you're imagining me, that's how I do it. I give her, I give her. So given the fact that you are,

it is all very much like no other people within visual distance in the middle of Ascender Road, in the deep portion of this solitary bog, a group of hunters that are keeping a very close eye on your troop, and you're going to begin casting this spell. I didn't realize it was all of those things, but I've already committed. Oh no. Okay.

Yes. As you begin to cast the Dragonborn, Hutchings goes, and what is this one doing? Performing. Who knows? Be careful, he might break into a song. He does that sometimes.

Make a deception check. Deception check? All right. Might go easier if you actually start singing. Can we give him advantage since we gave him the lie? Nope. Oh! Nine! Nine. Can FCG get an advantage if they sing,

actually sing right now, sing something entertaining? If it was anyone but Sam, I'd say yes. Yeah, I know. That's too easy. I was trying to make it work. Never mind. The dragonborn continues to smile, but the eyes do narrow for a second, but you do finish completing casting the spell. So you get some surface thoughts.

Surface thoughts are, interesting, but don't trust us. We should get moving. Look after the things and get moving. It's more like a protective, defensive mistrust. Do you want to go deeper, or are you going to keep it at that? It lasts for a while, right?

Yeah. A minute. And they know if you dig deeper, right? That's right. Yep. So maybe I'll just wait until we're leaving before I dig deeper. Oh my god. Yes. Okay. What do you all do?

We are travelers who wander these paths, taking work where able, selling what we find as we go. Not quite as prolific as the array of skills that you have acquired, but you know, we find work where we can within the wilds. What's your destination today? Us? I believe we are heading the same direction, actually.

We come to the Yharnamor not terribly often, but when the work calls us here, yes. We've had trouble on the road. I don't know if you'd mind, but it's certainly safer to travel together in larger numbers. I don't know if that'd sit right with you. Make a persuasion check. 12, 12 plus nothing.

12 plus nothing. I'll tell you what, and I mean this with no disrespect, you look and glances over at your hammer, glances over at the whatever this is. Up and walk. Mm-hmm. It's not that we feel uncomfortable in the presence of mercenaries, but there is benefits in at least watching

each other's back. How about we travel in tandem? A bit of distance, but we can, if one or the other needs help, we can call for aid. But just for our own notification and knowledge of how dubious some travelers can be without earned trust, keep enough distance to be comfortably apart.

I think we'd find that amenable. Prudent but helpful. Very nice. Very well. Is that all right? Do you have anything fun for sale? Her definition of fun gets very fascinating, am I right? Well, we predominantly work out of Vishi, but we do travel as far south as the Cannock Gulf

within the Hellcatch Valley and up to here and all points in between. So we do occasionally find all sorts of interesting things. You can see a glimmer in her dragon-like eyes, the gold shimmering with anticipation. What is it you find fun? Oh boy. Well, so many things.

So many things, I don't think I could even pick one. I think I just, if you had any trinkets or shiny things or smelly things or... Tejana. She shuts off and the fear bog who's currently in the process of brushing the horse stops and goes,

Yeah, what's going on? Could you bring that bracelet that we found not long ago? Okay, yeah. I'll get that bracelet for you, hold on. I can't get it off my hand. Would you like me to help? Yeah, if you could help me with the bracelet. Orym is trying to catch Fearne's eyes

and is silently trying to communicate, please don't steal anything. Let me help you. In Fearne's head, you hear, please don't steal him. So as the firbolg walks up to you, hunched forward, but even so, still standing at a good six foot eight, even with a slight head hunch,

so looming over you, the black hair just matted. You cannot see the eyes beneath, just a little poof poking through with a big smile, goes, I should get help. Help me with a little poof poking through with a big smile, goes, Hi, yeah, should we get help? Help me with this. You can see as she produces her wrist, there is this beautiful cluster of beads and gems that are embedded in this double wrap bracelet

around the wrist. As you work towards it, Hutchin goes, You need... You seem to have got this, and just stands there beside the two of you at the ready. I can do it. Yeah. Go ahead and make a dexterity check for me.

Seven. Seven, okay. So you both fiddle with it back and forth. There's a little bit of an odd, awkward tug-of-war. Do you need a little bit of grease, oil? Maybe. The rest of the group finishes packing stuff up. All the two of them stand there next to you.

Your effects order nails in. Yeah, my nails are just so long. Here, we'll get that for you. You can see now, Hutchin reaches forward and very deftly, like, puts it off, unwraps it. That's one way to tie down a group. This was procured on the outskirts of Avicii.

It belonged to a very well-trained craftswoman who gathered all sorts of strange glass beadware and intricate, small, imperfect gems who believed that the imperfections is where true beauty is found. As she gathered these from jewelers who wandered far and wide to craft this one piece that reminded her, or whoever carried it

from that point forward, that there is beauty in that which is unrefined and uncut. Jams. Oh my goodness. How many uncut jams are on there? Seven. Probably cut by candlelight. That's so well done.

We just officially dated this episode. Yeah. Some jokes stand the test of time. Not this one. No, this joke was old weeks ago. Weeks ago. We're just reviving it. Well, it's quite beautiful.

Well, it'll run you about 20 gold pieces. Oof. Well. It'd be worth much more if you were to get them cut, but also, you would be breaking the poor woman's heart who made them. Well, I don't know her. Are you thinking about that? Well, no, I just wanted to see

what things you were selling. I'll buy it. Very well. 20 gold pieces. Spent the best charm bracelet. things you were selling. I'll buy it. Very well. Twins can go. It is very much a charm bracelet. Now, it's been a minute, but when, I think, yeah, when Hutchins said that they were heading our way,

could I try and make an insight check to see if she was telling the truth or just deciding to follow us wherever we go next? Yeah, make an insight check to see if she was telling the truth or just deciding to follow us wherever we go? Yeah, make an insight check. Oh, good call. Yeah, they seem like they're making a deal. 16. 16.

Good luck for that. Ooh, a little whisper. Guys, D&D Beyond. Oh shit. D&D Beyond's back. Did you know that? Mm. They're doing a sponsor again.

This is Uncut Gems. I'm an Uncut Gem. I am. I am an Uncut Gem. Wow, this is a long way to fuck me. We're in trouble. We're in big trouble. We're in trouble? We what? Oh, Jesus, fuck off!

That was a good Travis Gullible-less. Oh, that's like five minutes away from full heart attacks, thank you. Of course, perhaps when we complete some of our trade in the Hamlet, we might have some more fun trick hits to bring to you to sell. Always a fan. Well, would you prefer that we lead the way, or?

I think so. You seem to be a bit more armed for the occasion. We're all right. La-di-va. Collect our things, I believe. What about, Reti? Dishonored, if you don't mind. I'm almost done. I just got to go ahead and get the saddle off.

Do you need some help? I'm going. Yeah, sure, help me. Sure. Thank you. I'm going to yeah, sure, help me. Thank you. I'm going to help get the last saddle on the horse. Two big women. Working on a horse. I've never put a saddle on a horse, so I have no idea.

The genre is like, no, you're supposed to, you need... That's wonderful. That's wonderful. Thank you for your help. And then crisscross under the belly, right? I've got it. With the scraps? Handle the rest of this.

You're just a sweet little thing. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, okay. Oh no. I'm not going to push any further with the detect thoughts, but can I just glance at all of their shoes and footwear just to see like. their shoes and footwear?

Just to see like. If they're from Kentucky? If the footwear is super sturdy and probably noisy on floors, or if it's more soft and creepy, like sneaky burglar type. Sure, make a perception check. First of all, wooden duck feet. Yeah.

Perception check? Yeah. 23. 23, that a perception check. I do. Forest of All Wooden Duck Feet. Oh my god. Perception check? Yeah. 23. 23, that's really good. No, they are wearing travel boots. They are rough, they are muddy. They have been, they have seen the same weather you have on this journey and probably other journeys beyond.

So these are definitely rough-looking boots. Okay. Kinky boots. Kinky boots. Kinky boots. Kinky boots, got it. Keep your eyes peeled for fairies. Okay. Are they going the same way? Yeah. You all gather up, get back on your horses and trek,

and they keep about a 50 or 60 foot distance behind you, but do travel in tandem with you along the road. You continue on for a few more hours. No major issue, no challenges, though the temperature begins to get a little warmer and muggier as the day presses on. The humidity in this area definitely surpasses that which you've experienced in some of the other regions

of the O'Deeran Wilds. The insects are growing more intense. The mosquitoes are starting to become a serious frustration. And while the, you know the fogs usually burn away midday? Here, the mists just settle, where in the early morning, in this region, they are the densest,

but as the day progresses, they just subside slightly and then hang. But within a short time, you see the shapes of structures in the distance. As you approach one large bowing bridge that curves from the end of one hilltop to another over a 45, 50-foot channel of water that travels beneath and separates into two larger,

open small lakes of bog water. You can see an arched gate and small walls that surround what would be the Southern Gate Ridge of the Heartmoor Hamlet. Southern Gate Ridge. Southern Gate Ridge. All right. I'm going to write that down for some reason.

Sure, go for it. No real reason to, but sure. You don't know. What color do I want to write it? Every time I go to say Heartmoor Hamlet, my brain says Hamburger Helper. Me too. Yeah. I heard Hamlet.

Southern Gate what? Southern Gate Bridge. Ridge. You approach the front and the gates themselves are not closed, they're open, but you do see there is stationed there a pair of wilders wearing familiar garb from what you're used to seeing in Jrusar, but you can see there's a little less upkeep on them.

They're a little thicker, and they seem to be more interested in just ensuring that something isn't following you from behind in the nearby block. But as you approach, one of them looks up. Let's take your business, please. Afternoon. We've been traveling for several days

by way of Jressar, and are just looking for a place to settle in for a few. Yeah. It looks like. She's with us. Yeah, not like a prisoner or anything. She's legit. She had a really rough trip.

Went off the road. Bad idea, never go off the road. I turned blue. Make a group persuasion check. DC 25. All of us? I'll talk to all of you. Bingo, bango. A group persuasion check.

This is a general presentation to the guard. Natural one. Ooh. Woo-hoo! 17 guard. Natural one. Ooh. Ooh. 17. 17. 15. 16.

19. Eight. Okay, pretty good overall. Overall, not too bad. This wasn't a very terrible high to see. This was less of a whether you get in or not, more of like, if they have you tracked or not. Mm-hmm.

Looks you all over. All right, well, welcome to the Hamlet. if they have you tracked or not. Looks you all over. All right, well, welcome to the Hamlet. There are a few places to stay for the night if you're looking to put your horses up. There is the Dried Dog Stables over that way. Please enter. Kind of just ushers for you all to continue inward. Dried dog stables or dried dog?

Dried dog. That's the only place to stay in town? No, those are the stables. Those are the stables. Oh, stables. Is there any news of the Hamlet that we should know upon our entry? I would need to know more specifics on what kind of news you're searching for.

Just any dangers or general warnings for the population, things that we should be aware of. Rules, local customs, laws, greetings. I mean, the same laws of the Chandei Quorum are maintained here. Just do not travel beyond the walls unless you are accompanied by someone who can defend you or themselves.

Sounds like a good deal of us. Yeah, good. Any place to stay that you can recommend? Well, probably the easiest place for you to look for would be within Ytan Square. It is the central region of the Hamlet. There you could find the Soddengrange Inn. Awesome.

How would you spell Etan, sir? E-T-A-N, apostrophe S, Etan's Square. Etan's. Oh, Etan's, okay. Etan's Square. Grange Inn. Soddengrange Inn. Soddengrange Inn. Mm-hmm, got it. Okay. That'shmm. Okay.

That's it. What about the museum in town, I see? The Twilight Mirror. Indeed, if you are here to see the Twilight Mirror Museum, you will find that also in the town square on the northwestern side. Why do you not like the museum? Enjoy. I'm sure it will be extremely

informing. Isn't Estonia here? It's probably like when all the tourists come and buy fireworks and try things. The exhibits all suck. Check the horses in. I always like a pamphlet. If you go to the right place,

they've got the wall of pamphlets. Those pamphlets are always fucking great. Sure. You learn a lot. Is there a mirror? I mean, maybe. I just want to ask if there's an area of learning in this town? In regards, I mean,

there are many people who can teach trades. Book people. Are there book people around here? People who read books? Read book readers. There are some people who own books and read them, yes. Do they congregate? I don't know.

I have not met many. You need better friends, I don't know. We're overcomplicating this. He gestures around and goes, If you are looking for a book repository, we're in a fucking swamp. The books that are here are not long for Exandria. Stable this way? Fair. Thank you. Oh, and also, the folks behind us,

they're okay, let them run in, they're with us. I mean, they're not with us. They're with us. They're not really with us. They discarded our backs as we were coming into town. They were also irritated. All right. Stay safe. Me too.

Satan needs radical words. Radicals much. Yeah. My bad. We never know if we're halfway through the joke. We get there. I think know. We never know. We're always out on the joke. We can't say that. I think Sater needs a double jointed. Oh.

Ruins. I'm just, oh my god. It's a massive drinking can. I mean, it's absurd. Oh my god. Oh god. High fantasy to the stables. Yeah, to the stables.

That's dry dock. All right. By the way, we didn't keep these horses alive, did we? We did, so far. Trick is getting them back. Exactly, it's about the round trip. You can get there. Just getting them back's a really hard part.

It's not too hard to find out where the stables are. It's the only visible livery within this portion of the city. It's built specifically to be relatively close to the southern gates, which is the primary entrance from the main road to the hamlet. You can see already there's maybe

I'd say a four-chamber structure with the central stable area being the raised upper roof area. There's no exterior open front staples, but there is a fenced-off portion in the back that is partially undercover. You can see maybe three horses that are currently in there just chewing whatever recent meal has been given to them

in small troughs. On the outside, you see, as one person is currently leaving with a horse, a small goblin, maybe about your size or so, a woman with strong, is it strong? Long, stringy, dark black hair

with gray and white streaks through it. It looks like it's been pulled into three different ponytail bumps as it goes down to just past the lower back. Works shirt on, and she ends up waving to the person who leaves, turning to the rest of you. Do you need your horses put somewhere?

Yes, yes, please. All right. For how long? Maybe up to a week. I assume. Yeah, we're not exactly sure how long it could take. Probably a week. For keeping feed here,

it is one silver per horse per night. Wonderful. Okay, we can scrape that together for you. That seems reasonable. Very well, I will keep them here and you will maintain a record and you just pay upon receipt or your beast. 25 silver?

35 silver? Five times five is? Five times seven. Oh, seven, a week. I was thinking of a business week. Yeah, business week. Horse business. Oh no.

Because there's horses selling. Yeah, business week. These are our business horses. Right. Because there's horses all the way. I was thinking, yeah, business days. These are our business horses. Yeah, we have weekend horses. Sounds good, we're good for it. All right. They go around and gather all the different bridles and take your name down, as well as the horse names,

and to their ledger and prep them for being kept safely within the stables there for the week that you intend to. Though if you need to take it earlier, they can be cut earlier. But your horses are taken care of and the rest of the hamlet is now at your disposal. Be nice, Escargot. The horse gives that bright,

wide horse eye on the side of like, I love you. Escargot's never going to be the same. I heard, be nice, Escargot, and I was wondering what you were planning, but that makes a lot more sense. I pet Heart's head and just whisper, These dreams go on when you close your eyes.

And I'm in love with you. My god. I love Heart, too. I love Heart I love her, too. I love her. I do, too. Okay, so we got a couple things we got to do here. Sure. Now, if we go to the Twilight Museum, doesn't that start the clock?

I think just checking in would be reasonable, letting them know we're here. We don't have to start immediately. It's just, we're in town, we're going to get ourselves settled and then we'll figure out what the fuck the rules are, what the whole deal is. What if it starts the clock immediately

as soon as we get there? That seems insane. What if we just book a room, ask about the people we're looking for, and go from there? We could send a message to Yvonne and let him know that we're here. Instead of actually just showing up,

we could just send a message. Oh, sure, yeah. Yeah, we'll just write in, we're in town. Okay. Write, write? Yeah. Send a, I got people who walk to other places and let you know things. I mean, it's literally right across the street from the inn, but.

Yeah, she was just worried that there was a, I don't know what this is, this isn't a thing that exists in this world. It means start. This is a. Thumb war. Thumb war. This could start the Thumb War, is what she was worried about. I just don't want, you know,

us to do this and then it all goes south and then the Loom of Swanzistani is not here when we finish with it or something. I don't know. I was going to let them know that we're here. We're not ready to start yet, but we just got into town. Okay. So that seems to be the prudent thing to do.

All right, we're going to head towards the inn. We're going to head towards the museum. Maybe we'll even split the party. Oh, maybe that's what we do. Yeah, actually. Well, that's not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay.

Who's heading to the inn? Who's heading to the museum? What do the people that are not going to the inn need to do? We need to find Estani, who is a professor, or a scholar. Boring as fuck, okay, keep going. What else? Cool, I'm going to the inn.

Who's coming with? We also have to get word to the museum, but I guess we do that from the inn. It's all in the same square. It's all in the same square. Let's just go to the square and then see where we can. Easy-weasy. Yeah.

How many rooms? I don't know. I'll take care of it. Don't worry. Someone please go with Chetney. Yeah, no, we're going to get four rooms. Four rooms. Good movie. Mm.

That's so true. Four rooms. Sure. Four rooms. Uh-huh. Yeah. We did fine with three the other night, I just wanted to point out. Three rooms. There we rooms. Sure. Four rooms. Uh-huh. Yeah. We did fine with three the other night, I just want to point out. Three rooms. There we go. Sure. Sure.

All right. So Chetney is just getting us rooms. I'll walk with you to the square, but I'll take care of the accommodations. I'll come to the inn, too, because I don't even know where to start to find the Stani. Right, I thought we were all going to the inn.

Yeah, the barkeep. We're splitting the party, and both splits are going to the inn. Right. You can definitely buy the rooms for us. That would be much appreciated. Just do one at a time, that's all I ask. It's like, get them there, then get us there

at the same time. Trying to keep a more presentory... Yes, very much so. Working on it. Pull my knit beanie down a little tighter. Swampy. All right, so we're going to the Sodden Grains. Sideburns.

Okay. So walking beyond the South Gate Ridge through the somewhat moss-stappled, bog-centric structures and homesteads you see. The darkened wood themselves perpetually damp with the moisture that hangs in the air. You can see the green growth that gives everything this faint verdant coloration,

regardless of what materials they were originally built with. The stone bases and stone structures themselves also giving way to these earthen tones coloration, regardless of what materials they were originally built with. The stone bases and stone structures themselves also giving way to these earthen tones as weather and nature takes the exterior of it over time. Pushing through the somewhat muddy, trekked streets and the semblance of stone that was placed here long before the descent's been slowly recaptured

or sunk slightly enough into the ground where the liquid moss water and mud has seeped in and reclaimed the majority of it. You pass to the other edge of this hill. In this point, you begin to realize that much of this village are these various sized hills that have been cleared off or themselves have been built upon at a higher place

and they are connected through small bridges that hang down or have land bridges that are built up to connect them. The central area you see labeled by two of the small signs at different points being pointed to as Eton Square. Here you can see what happens to be a large center for business and commerce, obviously. There are dozens of large warehouses and shops that line the mighty streets,

one with numerous scattered street carts and benches where farmers and crafters sell to nearby passersby or each other. There's no one excitedly barking. This isn't such a lively town as places of Dru Sarr. Even though you see the accommodations here, there is definitely a more casual energy to those who live here.

A lot of smaller town foot traffic? Not a lot at this hour, but you do see there's maybe a dozen or so people out in the open right now that are walking past. You can see in this small gathering space the number of stone tables set out, and you can see two older folk are there in the process of playing some sort of

a chess-like board game while they're bantering back and forth and arguing over current events or history or whatever else you might think they'll find reason to banter over. But you feel this is the comfortable, social heart of the Hamlet from what you've seen so far. Right about now.

A little bit. Glancing a little bit around, you do eventually see the sign of the Soddengrange Inn, which is placed to the northeastern side to the front of the central square here, the actual Laetan Square, trying to make sure that it has enough frontage to draw in any people like yourselves

who are traveling from out of town. As you approach this, it's a respectable-looking inn. Doesn't have quite the grandiose presentation of the Spires by Fire, but definitely holds a little bit of a stronger and welcoming exterior aesthetic than some of the more rough and tumble places you've stayed on lower parts of the spires in the city

you just traveled from. As you step up to the front doors, you do see they do swing, they as you step inward. Immediately, you're met with familiar smells, dried beers and alcohols on old wood. What smells like wet leather that has been dried and re-wet. You catch hints of tobacco smoke,

and you do see there's an old, old, old, rough-looking fellow sitting at a table with both of his feet up on there, who's in the process of lighting up this heavy, dark mahogany pipe that you can see has blackened the edges from excessive use for years. His big, bushy, gray beard that swallows the bottom part of his face, holding the flame so close,

you can't help but be a little anxious, but he obviously knows what he's doing. As you glance, as you step inward, the man finishes, puffing a bit and turns around. This man, as it turns, the perspective he was at made him look a lot bigger than he was because now that he turns, you see, this is just a halfling fella.

His legs are facing away and he turns and they're just a little shorter than you expect. He steps off the stool a bit, still holding the pipe. His large ears, the hair curling out the sides, takes an additional pop off the stool a bit, still holding the pipe. His large ears, the hair curling out the sides. Takes an additional pop off the pipe and looks towards the rest of you. Well, hello, you certainly new here. You have the eyes and the look of individuals

who've been traveling from afar and probably need a place to stay, am I correct in my assumption? Ooh. Very, very observant. See, that's how you keep a business going. So how many rooms are you looking for and for how long? I believe we said three for a week.

Three for a week. Two beds per room. Three rooms for a week. So that was a lot of questions. How many beds are typically in a room? We have rooms with one bed and rooms with two beds. Amazing. We'll take four rooms. Four rooms, very well. That'll be one silver piece per room, per night.

Amazing. So four silver for a week of seven. That'll be 28. I got it. We have cheaper stay than the horses? Bargain. That's an excellent point. The horses are also being fed and tended to.

Yeah, that's part of that package. The Saddened Grange, is that right? Saddened Grange, is it one level, two levels? It's single level. Single level. In fact, you see a lot of the buildings here, you don't see many that are multiple levels. There's a handful, but most everything here

is just one floor and is spread out a bit. You get the sense it's probably because anything too heavy on the somewhat soft earth of these hills is likely to sink. The mistake has probably been made more than once in the past. I cough up 28 silver. Thank you kindly for your patronage.

Let me get your keys for you. Brings out this key ring and slowly unhooks it and sets down four keys in the table and points you over to the four rooms. They're not right next to each other. They're a bit scattered, but this inn is surprisingly robust the further back you go.

It has a series of winding hallways and altogether, it probably has 16 rooms. You get the sense, just at the size of Etan's Square, that this inn probably takes a sizable chunk of real estate here on the square itself. What is your name, sir? My name is Dobby. Dobby Kingsman.

Are you the owner of this establishment? I am. Me and my granddaughter take ten to it. Dobby Kinsman? I imagine you see everyone about town. Do they come here often? Some do from out of town, yes. Within town, they have their own homes to get to,

but some do come in for a good drink and some socializing. I love it. I just want to hang out. Yeah. Close to here. Please, we have a friend in town named Isha Sabonis. Is she staying here? Sorry, Sabonis would not stay here. Oh.

Well, what do you know of them? She is a very wealthy individual. I have not met her myself. Okay. Do you know of someone named Estani? Old Estani, yes, yes. Are they staying here? Or do they live here? No, no, they live here, actually.

They have their homestead is over in the Blue Herald's Hill. Is that far from here? The Mosslight Manor is not far, maybe about a 15, 20 minute walk. Oh, wonderful. And you said the Mosslight? Mosslight Manor. It gives you a description.

It's like it's a somewhat rickety, unkept house. Decent size, needs some maintenance. Vines and moss, gray-brown wood coloration. Some fungus clouding on it. Kind of hard to miss. Thank you very much. So sorry, was it Blue Light Hill and Moss Light? Blue Herald's Hill and Moss Light's Hill. And Moss Light Manor.

And Moss Light Manor? Moss Light Manor. Blue Herald Hill. Blue Herald's Hill. Blue Herald's Hill. Any tips or tricks for folk who are new in town? I would say, for most folk here, don't be too strong in making friends.

People tend to come through here with a little more, they want to earn trust, you understand. Of course. And we're far enough out in the middle of nowhere here that some individuals think it's a bit beyond the laws of the Quorum. So don't take it to heart.

Our folks seem a bit distant and untrusting. What's the population like here? Yeah. Oh, probably in just a few thousand. If we wanted to send a note over to someone, can you arrange that? I was figuring just walking over at this point, it seems a little silly not to.

A couple questions, yeah. Twilight Mirror Museum. Yes. Why is it weird? We're going to go there. How close is that, and what's your impression of that place, and possibly its owner?

It's not terribly far. You leave the inn, immediately turn right after exiting and follow the edge of the square and continue on the road that path. You'll see it. I had a funny feeling. It's also the post office. Don't tell me you came here for the museum.

Not directly, no. Not to see it, just to do a little work. Okay. I suppose would be the balance. Just wanted to make sure that you didn't make the trek for nothing. Oh no. No, but while we're here, we should probably check it out, right?

I mean, it's an attraction. Dora's destination? We're being installed. It is very much. What one considered Dory's destination. Avon is curious, eccentric, but if that's what you're into, as being a speaking automaton,

and whatever you are, I'm certain this is maybe up your alley. I apologize and I do not mean to judge. This is exactly the sort of local opinion that we were looking for, to be fair. This is nothing but charming. I would love to have a quick, strong drink, personally, and I'm happy to get around for anybody else

who needs a quick, strong drink. That was a long time on the road. And I don't know what you're smoking, but that is wonderful. Oh, thank you. Grow and dry it myself. How's your feeling? There's a lot of folks around here,

grow and dry what they can find. It's what the Hardmoor is known for. As nasty as it might look to outsiders, it tends to be home to harbor much vibrancy in the various herbs and plants that wouldn't find life and home in other places here in Marquet. Well, if you find yourself with a little extra,

I'd love to grab a little sample at some point. If you have a little extra, happily pay for it. Tell you what, if you have your own pipe. Happily pay for it. Tell you what. If you have your own pipe, and he pulls out his bag and tucks out a little handful and he puts it to you. Not with me, but definitely. Find yourself one.

You need a pipe? Ooh. God. Give me a minute. That's some fine wheeling you've got there. Don't distract me. He's a minute. That's some fine wheeling you've got there. Don't distract me. He's a talent. Yeah, and drinks all around, Fearne.

Let me know what it is. He might also wield. Drinks will be down, of course. I got the impression he was interested in wood carving as well. I don't know. What's that? I would love to head on over to Estani's.

I mean, if that's not something you're. Yeah, I have nothing else to do in town except that, and then help out Ashton. So no time like the present. Are we swinging by the museum first? I do want to see this place now that they've talked about it so much. I think we just pop in and tell them we're here.

It's built up a lot. It really has. Yeah. Yeah. Just get a look at it, touch base. Let them know we're here. I'm sure they got to call everybody in to start this thing. Sure. So we'll just let touch base. Let them know we're here. I'm sure they got to call everybody in to start this thing. So we'll just let them know that we're in town. And then we'll take care of your stuff.

Perfect. So what's the plan? We're going to go to the weird place. Big drink. What do I owe for the drinks, by the way? Twilight Mirror Museum. The drinks across the table, we'll say, we'll say two silver.

I want one. Economies in D&D are so strange. There we are. Indeed. Didn't we go to the Austin Weird Museum or something? Yes, we did. Oh yeah. Museum of Weird? Yeah. We've got three of them in town, too, of weird ass curiosity.

Wait, Imogen, did you need to go anywhere? No, I just really want to see Estani's Oak. There's three of them in town, too, of weird-ass curiosity. Wait, Imogen, did you need to go anywhere? Are you all right? No, I just really want to see Estani's Oak. We can go there first. No, no, no, no, I mean, we're in the square. What's wrong? I'm fine. Gee, you look a little blue. I'm just trying to cheer you up.

Wow, that was impressive. Well, we'll be back later this evening. Thank you very much. Of course, I'm always here. And if I'm not here, my granddaughter is, and she can help you. What's her name, just so we know? Oh, her name is Parmi.

Pardon? Pardon me? What was it? Parmi? Parmi Kinsman. Parmi. Parmi. Parmi. All right. Kinsman. Par me. Par me. Par me. All right. Kinsmen. Checking out boxes.

Either way, Ash? I assume we're walking towards the most gaudy, ridiculous Venice Beach curiosity shop in the direction that he pointed as humanly possible. You're not entirely wrong. I had a funny feeling. Following the path along here, you go past the multitude of shops

that range from probably once beautiful in presentation that eventually have just been maintained enough to function, but the moss and mildew just builds up and generally, all bright colors are pulled back to a universally muted variation to some very, very simple locations, some homesteads and abodes and hovels that are crammed between.

There are some, on the outskirts of some of the roads, you can see clusters of neighborhoods of simple thatched-roof buildings, and you can see families gathering out and going to gather food and whatever supplies they need for the coming days or weeks. Heading down the northwestern road, which is what you were directed towards,

the pathway shows it's a bit tight initially, and you can see other structures and warehouses and buildings that you're uncertain as to what their purpose is. But to the left, you see a section where the consistent buildings stop, and there is a very tall metallic gate, or a fence line that comes around to a gate

with metal separation pillars that are situated about every five feet between. They come to these very tall, thin pikes, and you can see a small courtyard that is wrapped around a almost cylindrical estate. As opposed to some of the other generally standard square or rectangular buildings, this has a continuation in its curvatures.

At the corners, what would be considered the corners of the structure, the walls themselves are somewhat curved, and at each corner lot, there is a small tower or a parapet that rises up above it, where everything has this curved, organic sense to its build. It was once beautiful, but you can see itself

is also starting to give in to the greenery as nature slowly claims all elements of stone in this vicinity. The front yard, what little yard there is from gate to actual front of building, which is about 15 feet or so, is wildly overgrown with all number of plants, some that look indigenous to this area, some that definitely are not, and are either thriving

or have long been dead and have not been weeded. You can see this spectrum of textures and colors of all manner of plant life that just create this visual representation of the best scary Halloween house at the end of the neighborhood yard. The shit that the Goonies ran from when they were scared. This house definitely stands out like a sore thumb.

Is that what we're looking for? I mean, yeah. Let's find out. Sure. You walk up into the front gate of it, and you can see there is an elevated placard that is based in bronze, and on the sides of each, there's a small glowing gem that pulses with this faint purplish hue that goes to blue,

and then back to purple. In the middle, you see across it, Twilight Mirror Museum, Hydroga Emporium and Estate. An iron gate sits heavily at the direct front. Jeez, I thought Giana was gaudy. All right, I'm going to push it open to see what happens. Or knock, at least, I guess. It is a metallic gate that is affixed

with a series of bars. You can see through it. You can try and knock on the metal, and you go look over, and there is a hanging metallic bell, it looks like, and you lift it up and bang it against the metal gate itself and like, It's a little awkward, but it makes a unique sound at least.

A moment passes. Just like us. A few moments pass, and you, Orym, Fearne, Laudna, and Fresh Cut Grass, you all notice that, first you notice all the windows are, curtains are closed on them. And there are windows all throughout this odd rising estate.

This is one of the few buildings, it's not just two stories, but it's three stories. And it looks like it's trying to be a small castle. It has very putt golf vibes to it in some ways, but is a respectable size of an estate, especially compared to other buildings. But all the windows are shuttered curtains and you see one curtain in the upper left-hand side

open and a figure looks out and then it shuts closed. Oh. I think someone's home. You have another 60 seconds. I deal with a lot of eccentrics. Sometimes it takes them a minute. I'm going to ring a couple more times. I'm going to make it, oh, never mind.

About 60 seconds later, the front door opens, and you see, emerging from the interior, two guards that look like they're in the process of putting their armor on emerge as they push past. And you see as a male elf emerges, his body tall and spider-like in its thin way fishness,

wearing what looks to be this bright, flamboyant red and gold coloration to it, the mantle itself extending in this wide, raised neck mantle that comes to Doctor Strange-type points, but almost beyond the shoulders themselves. It gives him this very tapered V, like a martini glass of a figure, looking at it. It is beautifully kept.

And this elf, as you get closer, probably more half-elf, as you get a glance at the features, as they look like they're taking to age not quite as gracefully as many elves do. You can see the gray heavily set in within the long, intricately manicured sideburns that go just to the bottom of the chin.

You can see this carefully, very thinly kept mustache that comes out in a John Waters-esque pencil stache that then curls into a thin Hogan, if you will. The brows themselves are thick and pulled up into points on each side to a thin Hogan, if you will. The brows themselves are thick and pulled up into points on each side to almost match the points of the neck piece. You see all manner of jewelry and gems and rings encrusted around the fingers and necklaces

and upon necklaces upon necklaces. As he steps down the stairs, looking over you all with this smile crooked on the side. Then the cloak goes out and you can see beneath the robe itself, this extremely bright silver robe that almost seems to glitter in what light is coming through in the somewhat cloudy day. He stands out like the sorest of thumbs

against the vicinity of this entire town. But as you stand there watching and he approaches his arms out, Welcome, everyone, to the Twilight Museum. So, are you wanting a half-day pass or are you looking for the full presentation? Well, actually, funny enough, Do you want a half day pass, or are you looking for the full presentation?

Well, actually, funny enough, we were sent here by your dear friend, Gianna Hexum. Oh! You're who she sent. Well, she's an eccentric, and she likes her representatives to be the same. Curious. Well, unfortunately, that means you're not here

for the tour. Not yet. Perhaps later? Maybe after this, though, if you do your job properly and succeed, maybe you'll have carved your own tour of the premises. Take a fucking tour of the premises. Yeah, we might want to take the tour regardless,

especially before everything starts. We've had a very long journey. Oh no, you're not to see the interior. If you're going to shoop, shoop, and shoos the guards off, and they just finished getting their armor on, like, oh fuck. They go back inside. That's right.

If you are to be part of this incursion, this competition, if you will, then you have to go in blind. Have they gotten the tour? Who? The others. They haven't arrived yet. How do you know? Because they would have made themselves known.

What if they, have you had any tour groups? Always, constantly, but. Is he lying? Insight check. Insight check. Four. 15. Come on. Oh, I get a whisper out of him. Oh shit.. 15. Come on. Oh, I get a whisper out of him. Oh shit.

Whisper. I wonder if we've met the other group. Oh wait, Sam's getting a whisper. Tarot cards. Oh, we're terrible. D&D Beyond guys. Dibbidibbidon. You got the D&D Beyond whisper.

You got your perfect warlock. Warlock. The buzz of Matt's beautiful voice in the mirror is just so comforting. It's nice. Me! Well, now I wish we would have lied. I really feel bad about that now.

You're a bad liar. I am, to be fair, a really bad liar. It's true. You do it a lot, though. I enjoy it, I'm just not very good at it. Regardless, it is good to know that you've checked in. Yes. Well, I do believe they are supposed to be arriving not too far behind the rest of you,

if the missives have been consistent. So once they've checked in, where are you staying? We're over at the Sodden Grange. Very well, I'll go ahead and send a notification when all has been situated, and then we will progress this little interesting event the midnight of the day thereafter. Oh, it sounds perfect.

We have a little bit of work to do in town. We want to do some shopping and otherwise see the sights. Very well. What item are we allowed to know what will be? It'll be discussed before things are to begin. The preparation is meant to be maintained in mystery. So we'll get on our way, I suppose, at this point. Just let us know, and on a personal note,

Mr. Hytroga, I believe, is that it? Mr. Hytroga. Mr. Hytroga. Evon Hytroga. Do you prefer Evon? Mr. Evon Hytroga. Mr. Evon Hytroga. It's been fabulous meeting you, and I love all that. That's a lot of fun. Thank you.

You have quite a delightful ensemble there. What is your name? Ashton. Ashton? Ashton Greymoore. Ashton Greymoore. Very well. I do wish you luck. Exciting.

Do you have any tips? Yes. Walk carefully. Be careful. Be safe. And if something scares you, run. Oh boy.

This is going to be fun! Oh, I'm so excited. I'm excited. I am, too. All right, well, I think we just want to rest up. Well, let's go see if we can find a stay. My apologies, before you leave here. And I don't mean to presume, but when I had heard

of a recent unfortunate break-in with a mutual friend, I was told that one of these burglars had fallen and taken quite the hit on the head. But I'm sorry, I don't mean to presume. Oh no, I'm just always curious where that sort of rumor starts. It's always fascinating. Indeed.

I may inquire where you heard that at some point after we have impressed you. Good, I like being impressed. Well, now, shoo, you're not paying customers. I'll let you know when the rest of this arrangement has arrived, and we'll take it from there. Well, looking forward to stealing from you. How is it you are speaking?

You know, I don't actually honestly know. Fashion, are you? How much for your automaton? What is he saying? We've established my worth, right? Wasn't it like 20,000 or something? What's the usual price? Oh.

Well, I would want to ask what the asking price is from you. So far, it's 20. Was it 20? He's not for sale. The other one was 20. I would want to ask what the asking price is from you. Was it 20? He's not for sale. The other one was 20. He's priceless to me. He couldn't talk. Good for you. Yes.

Let's go. We'll see how well you do in this game to come. Maybe I'll be inspired. How much do you cost? Oh, you could not afford me, honey. All right. Anyway. Good luck.

Rest well. Thank you. Inside. Damn, that was the best presentation. Oh my god. SAM and LAURA, LAURA and LAURA, and MATT, and MATT, I just want to get out of there. Yep. Okay, so we are looking for the Mosslight Manor, correct?

Okay, so we are looking for the Mosslight Manor, correct? We're looking for it, Ashtami? Yes, and Blue Herald's Hill. All righty. Doesn't take too long to gather some directions from locals and guide you to the Blue Herald's Hill. It's nestled on the eastern edge of the Hamlet, so you have to backtrack a bit

and then head to the east side of the city, which from your guys' perspective would be this way. But you come to the Herald's Hill, which is a wider neighborhood of smaller networked roads and densely packed homes that surround a squat hill that harbors a number of modest temples. There's an open garden of odd plant life also gathered from regions beyond the O'Deeran Wilds

and even just beyond the Heartmoor that are all kept well here in contrast to the grounds surrounding the Twilight Mirror Museum. But you do see an outdoor amphitheater, some rare flowers. Stop it. Gesundheit. I love that so much. So mean.

Damn it. We're going to get to a live show one day, somebody's going to sneeze and the whole place is going to go, Stop it! I hope so. I love you guys. Y'all are amazing. Is anyone proficient in nature? No.

Are you? No way. You really don't? I have negative. All right. Then you continue your journey past the theater. Nobody knows nature. So pretty, these flowers. You do see a lot of blue flowers everywhere.

So blue. Were they like the blue flower that we took from the? The guy on my belt? Yeah. No, quite different. Softer, more of a sky blue coloration to them. But they grow quite abundance here in this region of the city. In fact, in the garden area here near the amphitheater,

there's many clusters of them. It gives this very beautiful, almost some, you know, this area doesn't belong within this town, yet here it remains. And you can see why this is an area where a lot of folks tend to turn them into more of a residential space.

But eventually you do come upon, indeed, the manor that was described to you. The house itself is a little ramshackle, but still cozy. You can see it needs some work. A lot of the wood is starting to bow and split in places. The roof structure itself, one of the roof corners appears to be slightly listing to one side a bit, or at least is starting to bow over.

And you get the sense of whoever lives here doesn't have much of an interest in maintaining the architecture, at the very least from an external standpoint. You can see the windows that are here are clouded with fungus. It has this very clouded gray-white aesthetic to it,

and at the very edges of it, where the glass itself is separate, you can see that same coloration turns into a brown-gray mold that continues around the window sill that surrounds it. This is an older building. This has been here for a long time. But there are two newer doors that appear to have aged

better than the rest, or at least have been in more recent entry, that have a reddish coloration to them, a stain. But you can see the moisture has caused the stain to run a bit, so the whole door has those streaks across it, and the color seems to shift and change, giving this subtle striped visual to it. There is a metal knocker on the door. Imogen, darling.

King, king, king. Orym's got it. Do you need any help in there? You all right? Yeah, I just... This person might have, you know, the pages possibly that talk about my mother. I don't know, I just felt so overwhelmed

as soon as we got into town. I'm so sorry. No, no, don't apologize. It might be very emotional. This is also the Loomis twins and... Yeah. You know, you've always been quite the empath, so I just want to make sure

that you're taking care of yourself. Thank you. All right. I'm just going to hold her hand for a second and cast Enhance Ability and give her Eagle Splendor. What? Advantage on charisma checks. She has blue feathers now.

It doesn't take too long before the sound of multiple locks undo on the door. And it opens up and you can see the locking mechanisms on here and the doors are new. And the mechanisms are new, like they've been installed recently. Behind the door, peering through carefully, you see an older man,

probably in venerable years older even than the gentleman you were renting your inn from. You can see balding with long wisps of fine silver hair drift beyond the edges of the scalp. You can see the skin itself is a blue-gray tint and the skin weathered with age and travel. They appear immediately to be Unia of orc and elvish heritage.

The long pointed ears, the very defined orcish nose, thinner and more fine bone structure. It's a very graceful age that the Unia find at this point, this beautiful combination of the two, orc and elf physicality. You see a warm smile creep across their face

as their one clouded cataract eye sits next to the striking, deep emerald green of the other. You see them pulled together in this warm, if somewhat dirty robe that they keep clutched around their neck. Might I help you? Hello.

We've come a very long way. We're just in from Jrusar today, in fact, and we've come looking for Estani. You wouldn't by any chance be him, would you? I am indeed Estani, yes. Excellent. We're here at the behest of Oshad Breshio. His face drops, grim,

and you can see in but a moment that a lot of memory and emotion strikes behind those eyes. Before they close, there's a nod, and then the smile returns. Then you are indeed friends. Whatever journey you took to get here, I imagine was not easy, so come in. I will make some tea,

and let's get to know each other. That would be amazing. Turns and opens the door and you can now see the warm, cluttered, not quite hoarder interior, but definitely an individual who collects a lot of things and doesn't quite know where to put them or how to put them back.

An organized chaos through this room. And to play off of what you heard from Davi earlier, or not Davi, sorry, the guard you spoke to, this is probably one of the places where many of the town's books are kept, as you see piles and piles and piles of them. Come, come, it's warmer and drier within. Thank you. We'll all file in.

You all step into the warm interior to have this conversation with Istani. Thoughts and questions gathered. We'll go ahead and stop there tonight. No! We'll pick up there next time. But Laura wanted to talk to you. No. Let's have some time to write down our questions

and figure out. Give you some time to think on it, too, between episodes to really, because this could be a sizable conversation, could be a short conversation, and we're also presumably going into a... Battle? Yes, you're going to fight the old guy.

If there's anything we've done, we know that you guys like battling old people. But to go into a possible burglary, a little bit of time to think and pep on that. We'll pick up from this entry in conversation next time. Woo! So, yeah. This is fun.

We can do it again. Exciting, indeed. Thank you so much for joining us. We'll see you guys next week. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. Woo! Woo!

Oh hey, Ashley Johnson here, and I sure do hope you're enjoying the adventure. Remember when you first found out about Critical Role? Was it through a friend or a family member or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast? Many listeners find our show through word of mouth and recommendations. So please consider rating and reviewing our podcast, because each review makes an impression that may just inspire someone new to give our show a try, and that, more than anything, helps to support us.

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