Critical Role - C3E28 The Deathwish Run

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Bells Hells enter the deadly crawler race known as Deathwish, where survival is the only rule and winning is the only option... Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources Watch Critical Role Campaign 3 live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, watch the broadcast on our Twitch channel. "It's Thursday Night (Critical Role Theme Song)" by Peter Habib and Sam Riegel Original Music by Omar Fadel and Hexany Audio "Welcome to Marquet" Art Theme by Colm McGuinness Additional Music by Universal Production Music, Epidemic Sounds, and 5 Alarm Character Art by Hannah Friederichs Twitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and 4-Sided Dive. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & Google Podcasts following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges and the ability to post links in Twitch chat!

Thank you. View the episode on demand immediately after it airs, or you can enjoy the VOD on YouTube the following Monday. And for you loyal podcast listeners, the show transmutes into its audio-only format Thursdays one week after the initial broadcast. Without further ado, let's see what sort of fun, scary adventures await. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons. Whoa! We're going to play Dungeons and Dragons!

Like me. It just gets weirder every time. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor of the ongoing saga, the NordVPN. Laura, please be brief. Not a problem.

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Did you really want to Kryptonic override? I wanna sort the numbers, must meet quota. If I sort enough, they'll give me a waffle party or a music dance experience. Kryptonic, Laura, what's wrong? Ashley, what did you do to her? Ashley is dead. Number two, my hacker name is Setti.

But your accent, your outfit. I know. It was the perfect hacker cover. You'll never get away with this. I'll de-boot your source code. Finger traps are awesome. As Care said, keep a merry humor in your heart. Wait a second, wait a second.

I know what this is. Are you severing them? Severing like the hit series Severance from Apple TV that has nothing to do with this ad? Affirmatron, chipworms. I'll sever the part of your brains that remembers these stupid ads

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Sign me up, please. Unknown, unknown, Delaware, unknown, unknown. So just to clarify, because I'm new here, you guys keep talking about Severance, the gripping drama starring Adam Scott and Britt Lohwer, but they are not the sponsor tonight? Correct. Okay, and Severance, the Emmy-nominated show that's available now streaming on Apple TV,

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That was a very, very long sketch. Aw, you guys. Yeah. That was, you know. Mountain out of a molehill, guys. That's what we do. We did it. No good for all its worth. This is how much we care about Sam. We can plus one.

Severance is really good, though. Severance is really good. Severance is really good. This episode is really good. It is actually really good. This episode is also sponsored by our friends at Cash App, the easiest way to send, spend, and save money. You can invest for as little as $1 and connect to your direct deposit

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So that's fun. Risha, you have something to talk about. Oh boy, in case you missed it, we're heading out to San Diego Comic Con. Our panel will begin at 5 p.m. on Saturday, July 23rd in Ballroom 20, with the wonderful Christian Navarro. We'll be our minds.

Yay, Christian! Help him. And if you are not able to attend San Diego Comic Con this year, have no fear. We're gonna do what we always do, and we will post the panel to our YouTube channel on July 28th. Also, our fifth episode of Foresighted Dive

will air on August 9th. I know, it is not the first Tuesday of the month. Like, you know, we said, because moving forward, Foresighted Dive is going to air on Tuesdays, but it might not always be the first Tuesday of the month. Because, you know, we're still in crazy times.

There's still a pandemic. There's still things. In these unprecedented times. In these unprecedented times, we do not have a precedented programming schedule. Presidential programming. And they are here for you. Absolutely.

Finally, a reminder that next Thursday, July 28th, we will be taking our end of the month break and we will be back with the next episode of Campaign 3 on Thursday, August 4th. I believe that concludes our announcements. So with that, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. Critical Roar. till we fall Will we meet our end or meet our destiny Hold your breath and roll

How do you want to do this? It's Thursday night All ye critters come join us It's time to continue our flight There is magic and mystery Who knows what will happen He might But one thing's for sure

We never give up on the fight From the healer To the renegade We all share the same goal Adding more allies Taking more chances. Hold your breath and roll. You can certainly try.

It's Thursday night. All ye critters come join us. It's time to continue our flight. It's Thursday night. There is magic and mystery from darkness. Our friendship will rise But one thing's for sure We never give up on the fight

Oh, get ready It's Thursday night Bye! And welcome back. So, last we left off, our troop of heroes have made their way to the city of Bassuras in the middle of the Hellcatch Valley in search of Amon Treshi, who has been on the run. You manage to discover and confirm that he has been hiding out in the Seat of Disdain,

the center of the Paragon's Call crawler gang that sits within this city. As part of your intent to find a way to gather more influence or to safely get into this fortress called the Seat of Disdain, you met with a contact, the General Ratanish, and spoke saying your interest in joining this crawler gang,

upon which some of you met the leader of Paragon's Call, Otohan Cruel, or Thule, who has a unique history. It's the first time I've heard that. Yeah, it has a unique history. It's the first time I've heard that. Dang, I think my sleeve was making it. I don't know. Can't even do a bell. Hey, I just like the fact that it made

an NPC's name ring a bell. Fuck me. I mean. So, as part of the process of being initiated or proving your worth to join the Paragon's Call, you agree to take place in the Deathwish Run, which is a dangerous, deadly race that takes place through and around the city of Bassuras. This more recent race that's being designed as part of your request to join was set for that dusk.

And so you've all begun to prepare yourselves for this race in the short time that you have. In the meantime, you've also had some unique character revelations, some interesting bits of information come your way about some of you. And in the morrow, in the following day, supposedly, Birdie Calloway is to be arriving within the city

and there is a coming meeting. But as we come in, it is about dusk here in Bassuras. A number of you, dusk at dusk, have been gathering on the outside, the Skids region, the scattered tent and hovel city that is clustered around the outside of the Carmine Curtain, the large red wall

that keeps the interior of the Bassuras City itself protected. Here, as some of you have walked to what's called the Bone Tree, the area where the race both begins and ends here in the skids. You approach this massive tree built of bleached white bones and skulls

that seems to curl up into the now reddening and purple-colored sky as the sun sets in the distant mountain range. You can see scattering crowds of denizens of Bassuras, as well as other members of Quallar gangs, growling and shouting in excitement at the coming race, as well as the other four racers that are here at the starting line along to fight their way to the finish

and maybe take you out along the way. You have two crawlers at your service, one that you purchased and one that's a loner. But as part of the preparation of this, I want to reconfirm, one, who's racing and what the rest of you are doing, which, because it has been some time leading up to this, those who are not participating in the race,

I will allow you to formulate how you are setting up and preparing or what you may have prepared leading up to it. So first off, who are the racers? Reluctantly crouch. On the starting line. Oh! Oh, man!

You're going to have to fight now. Such a good time. It really is. It's all good. All right, so I'm going to be driving our crawler, so the fancy one. Okay, I'll go ahead and crash. Ooh, the light! You wish you've named what?

Did we name it? Nope. Yes, but no, but I did want to. I did want to. Before we got in it, I wanted to mark it with a BH for Bell's Hills. Oh, nice. I thought we got there. Yeah, we were going to do it,

but he didn't paint it on it for us. So I'm going to mark it myself. Oh, all right. In red paint. Oh no, I'm going to do it in blood. I want to do it in black paint, but I'm going to put a little red moon in next to our BH. I dig it. Okay, BH with a red moon.

On there. That was just a, no. It was just a little. I like the timing. Perfect. Okay, so you're driving. Who is your passenger? Well. That would be me. All right, let's go ahead and get you situated here in the back passenger seat of that crawler.

So this is where your skirmish crawler is going to be situated. Who is the other? Ours is called the Red Moon. I'm on the Red Moon. I'm walking into that. I'm also driving. All righty, and you'll is called the Red Moon. I'm on the Red Moon. I'm walking into that. I'm also driving. All righty, and you'll be in the loner

over here in the front seat. It's a little hard for you to look over, but we can set up a booster. We've also painted on the side a little bucket with a bunch of turds in it. It's named the Fuck, no, the Buck Fucket. The Buck Fucket? The Buck Fucket's pretty great.

I love it. Wow. That's slick. All right. That was six seconds Buck Fucket's pretty great. I love it. Wow. That's slick, all right. That was six seconds ago. Red Moon and... The Buck Fucket. The Buck Fucket. The Buck Fucket. The Buck Fucket.

That's pretty great. As much to front letters, but the desired effect is the same. Perfect, and who's your passenger? Laudna. Laudna. Laudna. Laudna. Laudna. Laudna. Laudna.

Laudna and letters. And fresh cut grass is also going to be on there. Two smaller creatures, we hope, will add up to one weight. You're technically a medium creature. Oh fuck. What? You're just shorter. Ha ha. Yeah, you're dwarfy.

That's right, you're heavy. Well, we're still doing it. Okay. You got metal bits. I'm made of paper mache, if that. Just bones? I'm bones. Literally, just bones. Just you bones. I'm all dick.

So he's a small creature that weighs a medium, and you're a medium creature that weighs a small. What if you just take a couple hours to just suck down a bunch of helium, and then technically you just come from a line? I think it's less about weight and more about balance and spots to sit, stand. Not helping.

You're still a stalky thing. Are you hooking yourself to the front of it, FCG? How are you doing this? Where can, is there a seat in the back or a seat in the front for me? And I know there's no seats, but where can I position myself so that I can hang on somehow?

You can, if you have your grapple arm connected, you could go ahead and use that to just hang off the side. Wow! I will say, because we have a third person on this vehicle, that the driver does not have access to the bonus action accelerate ability. Okay. So you can only,

you have your bonus action for whatever else you want to use it as, but you do not have access to the Accelerate to do that. I place the front wheel with letters. Oh. Too late. Oh, fuck! That would have been amazing. Can we do that?

Do we have enough time to unbolt them and do that? You want to make FCG the front wheel? You know what? What do I do if I fall apart or something? We'll find out. We'll find out. We can certainly try. Who wants to go ahead and try to tinker this in the five to 10 minute buffer you have?

I can do it, it's fine. Okay, great. Okay, hang on, wait, wait, we're not committing. We're not committing. We're just talking, we're just sassing it out. What kind of a check would it be to tinker? What do you think it would be? I feel like, oh, you're that guy!

I'm a guy. I have stuff. Unless you just want to hang out. I would say, either if you have Tinker's tools and you're proficient with them, you can go ahead and add the Proficiency modifier, or it would be just a straight dexterity or intelligence check, your choice. Yeah, before you do this, I have the bomb,

so I was planning on jettisoning myself at some point to use the ball. Yeah, just to do the grapple hook thing. We'll take the, we'll get rid of the bonus action. I know! Here's the thing. So to break this down, whoever the driver is, when it comes to your turn, you use your movement

to move the vehicle ahead one section. And I do have it broken down into just section by section and we'll be keeping tabs on where people are moving around the race races that goes on. Okay. It's a pig race. It's a pig race. So you can use your action to dash and move a second one

and then your bonus action, if you have the accelerate action, move a third time, but that's all the driver does. Or you could not go all in on all that movement, move a little bit and use your action, use your bonus action to try and fuck with the other drivers. So it's not that much of a drawback if you have options and things at your disposal

you can use to mess with other drivers. Here's my thought. So if, sorry, if Travis is driving, if Chetney's driving, he uses move, action to move us ahead, too, and then he still has access to his bonus action? Correct. No. Well, and with this, I would not.

You still have access to your bonus action, but you just cannot use it to accelerate. Got it, got it, got it. Got it. So here's the thought. Is that the front wheel is kind of squishy. That is the AC of 21 and 25 hit points, though. And if it's destroyed, there's a good chance that the crawler explodes.

So, but my thought is if you're the wheel and you can heal yourself. Right. And you have more hit points than that, probably. That's not a bad thought. Absolutely. I mean, that's solid. Just a thought. That's valid.

I could also jump into the wheel if we lose our wheel. I could be the wheel in the event it happens. I'm going to have to wipe out. But you just tinkering. Yeah. Oh my god. The idea. You know what?

Let's not go too deep into it. Let's not go too deep into it. We'll cross that bridge if we get to it, because I'm excited to see how the fuck we try and pull that off in the moment. I have another question, though. If FCG is the wheel and it's not weight on the bike, does that give Chetney his bonus back to

use the bonus for speed again? Yes, it would in that circumstance. Wow. Likely. Would that prevent me? I'm full-time wheel at that point. I can't do other things. You can, you still have your hands. Depends on how you pull this off.

Oh boy, guys. Because if you jump in as the front wheel, how are you staying put? You're holding on, right? Which means you can cast spells that don't require somatic components. I mean, unless we tinker me somehow. We've got to tinker you to weld it

so that your hands are free. Sam Riegel, are you Sam Riegel? Scared of a crazy move? I'm not scared. I just want to make sure that I'm going to. What did you do with my terrible idea. Sam Riegel, are you Sam Riegel? Scared of a crazy move? I'm not scared. I just want to make sure that I'm going to- What did you do with my best friend, Sam Riegel? I'm not scared. I just want to be able to help. Like, if I'm literally like this the whole race

and I can only be a wheel, then I can't do anything. We don't want that. Unless we don't want to try those two. We want these free. It's not useful unless- We can tinker me in right now, but if it fails, we might have a broken wheel for the race. And we'd have to tinker check you in well,

because none of us are welders, we don't have welding tools, I'm not a blacksmith, and if we roll at shitty and you just break off in the first fucking round, it's a total waste. It's a cool idea, but it's not worth the five to 10 minutes we have. We might be able to borrow a welding torch from somebody, but I'll be welding for the first time.

If we're too slow, if we're halfway through the race and we're falling way behind, I can just bail. That's true. That is true. That is true. I swore I never could work with metal, you fuckers. Yeah, that's true.

Let's go. Let's just do it. I mean, yeah, that'll be fine, because running speed is 60. Or I'll just kick Laudna off. Also consider. Pops up a whole bunch. Consider the circumstance. Are you just walking up to the finish line,

or the starting line, and adding three people to a bike in full view of everybody out there that has two per bike? That's what I thought. Are there rules? What are all going to happen? I mean, you don't know. That's podium rules. You don't know. The only rule you've been told so far is... Don't die. Don't die.

You could just, but you're not a person. I can be a hundred feet forward and I can grab on. Plus, you guys are on the end, so you could just be standing next to it and as everybody goes, grab on. Yeah, I could be behind that thing over there, waiting for you guys to go behind. That's really far ahead.

Well, we can do that if you want to be sitting off to the side and when it goes by, you can go ahead and reach out for it. I'll shoot my grapple. What about this? I like it. The Tanglefoot Bag lasts for an hour, so we could glue you to the front of this bike with the Tanglefoot Bag, which lasts one hour.

The Tanglefoot Foot Bag is just, is it goop or glue? It's a glue type, it's an adhesive. Yeah. So we could tinker and then go. You tell me. Somebody else make decisions. You tell me. It's not my job to stay off. It's up to you.

It's up to you. What do you want to do? Yeah, these were all conversations we had on the streets of the city. Oh man, I was so tempted to be a wheel. Do it! Why not? You're going to get a chance to do this. But it's so risky, it's unnecessarily risky. I feel like I don't know you anymore.

Sam, it's your call. You have an opportunity. You made a character with a wheel. You have an opportunity to be a wheel. If you truly can't decide. Is the risk worth the reward, or do you have other plans? Your previous goal was to deliver a bomb, right?

Yeah, he might have plans. He's not telling us. He does ask me to help. I can do all kinds of things to help us, but not if I can't move my arms. But we have a Tanglefoot bag. No, with a Tanglefoot bag in place, you would be a- Let's Tinkerbeon as the wheel. Let's do it.

You don't have access to your arms, right? Come on. It's better to say, because I can move my arms, I'm okay. Okay, okay, okay. But we can't use the Tanglefoot bag to win the race. That's your arm, right? Come on. What is better than this? Because I can move my arms, I'm okay. Okay, okay, okay. But we can't use the tango. That is a good point. That's right.

That's okay, that's okay. Okay. All right. Glue me, glue me! I think Chetney should do some technical first and then we'll check our work. Chetney also uses glue. There's wood glue.

I need a drink. I swear I never work with metal. I need to be as drunk as possible. I need to not remember any of this. Shut up, bitch! Get me alcohol! This is going to be great. Just put a straw on MCG.

I think he still has something else. I'm breaking my own code! I can calm your emotions. Yeah, yeah, do it. I would use a spell slot. That'll be fine. I'll just cut my ass off. I could get a shot from a kiosk.

All right, well, give him a shot. One shot. One shot kiosk, right? You need your focus. Yeah. Take the edge off. Okay. All right. So. What if he turns into a wolf halfway through the race?

It's going to weigh us down. It's going to be amazing. Okay. All right. So you can mark off your Tanglefoot bag. For sure. You have at your disposal, you can choose whether it be your dexterity or intelligence modifier,

and just go ahead and make a straight d20 roll. Can we? Plus Guidance. Plus Guidance. Please, please, Chetney. Okay. Just look at this as wood. Come on, why are there dice? This is all wood. Oh, and plus Guidance? What's Guidance?

Four. Plus four. Roll big. Roll big, bitch. Ooh. Oh no! Not good. 12. Plus glue? The DC was 10.

Okay. That you know of. Oh. What do you know of? You don't know. It seems to work fine. Oh my god. Can I move my arms? You can. Okay. And a little bit of J.B. Welder,

and we're good to go. Okay, yeah little bit of J.B. Welder, and we're good to go. Okay, yeah. I put the, I gingerly place the bag behind FCG's shoulder blades, his mechanical shoulder blades. The bag? Oh, the Tanglefoot bag. The Tanglefoot bag. Yeah. I'll just stick that there.

Do you want to get bombed by somebody else, though? Yeah, I guess Laudna hears the bomb. It's so heavy. Oh god. How heavy is it? How heavy is the bomb? I don't know how heavy is the bomb. It's probably a solid 40 pounds. Oh my god. Oh!

It is so heavy. FCG, hold your hands out as far forward as you can away from you, and I take a stick from the ground and I whack the bag on an angle so that it hopefully sprays back into the front of the bike. I can't do four damage.

To trigger it so I don't get stuck in it myself. Fair enough. This is amazing. Okay, he's Tanglefooting me? I jump four feet in the air. The combination of both of you guys working together with the Tanglefoot Bag and your roll, you are wedged up in there

and your entire back portion of your body, well, first off, you remove the wheel and everyone's like, What's she doing? Hey, she's going to raise another wheel. What's this good idiot doing? That's right, we're in your head, motherfucker. As you take this automaton and jam it up in there,

everyone's like, what? You hear the whispers like, They're crazy, what are they doing? Who even are these people? It's going to fall apart. Look at that thing. It's like a servant robot or something. Pleased to help.

As you get up in there, you go, just wedge some of the middle pieces together, bend them in a little bit, and then with a tangle foot back, whack! It glues your shoulders and your back up into the inside, and you are just wedged. You are stationary with your arms flopping out there,

and your wheel angled out at the front. It is such a small wheel compared to the mass. I think that's it. As soon as it happens and you guys walk away, the crowd's like, Huh? Oh my god. I go over and get some of Imogen's blood

that she painted with and I go over to FCG and I point two slanted, angry eyebrows over his eyes. Then I draw jaws on his. Like a warthog. Yeah, so he now has jaws painted on down here. A-10, baby. Ashton, I have the bomb. I have the bomb.

Do you want to call? It's 40 pounds. I'm going to put you. Wear a little baby carrier? Yeah, I'm going to have it in there. A bonfjorn. A bonfjorn? It's a byonb.

It's a byonb. It's a byonb. A byonb. Should be fine. Should be fine. Just so you know, it's a time, it's got a tick-tick-tick time fuse. So you can set it for 10 seconds and drop it.

Or something like that. Or set it for one and that's all. Roll your character. Time driving. Should I have it or should we just have it so it can be? Maybe just, yeah, we'll just keep it next, in front of me or behind me. I've got a great idea. We'll put it between us. Okay.

And when it's time to, if you can do it, you can telekinetically set it and kick it off. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, you can just. Good call. You can back it. So it's between us. You got a bomb on your ship. Yeah. It's in a backpack,

but I'll keep the timer on me. Hell yeah. So we have Ashton and Imogen on one bike, the souped up one with the bell-held BH and the moon. Then we have Chetney and Laudna with an FCG wheel up front on the loner. On the buck-fucket.

On the buck-fucket, sorry. The buck-fucket. Fuck. I'm a little nervous, but fuck it! FCG, I just want you to know, whatever happens, it's nothing personal. What? If I start aiming for rocks and shit, just roll with it, literally.

Oh! Oh god. Do I have suspension? No. Warm up those knees. We didn't get that upgrade. Meanwhile, those of you who are not part of the race, what are you setting up?

And by the way, we can flashback a bit in this what you've been doing in the hours leading up to this race before dusk in which you've been figuring out your plans and where you want to station. There's the four main sections of this race. There's the Skids Where It Begins at the Bone Tree. This is the more urban opening

where you're going through city streets that are clustered with people and what else might find its way in front of you. Then there's the ravine in which you drive down the switchback roads that lead into a cave system that goes underneath the city through the ravine. Then there's the climb, which is the switchback roads that go back up the side of the ravine,

which is a slower, more arduous upward endeavor, and then the return to the skids across the Carmine Curtain, which leads back to the Bone Tree. Is it just one set of switchbacks or two? Switchbacks down. Switchbacks down. And the cavern, that's the ravine, and then the switchback up that leads to the city itself,

each with their own unique flavor. Well, Orym and Dusk had been talking about pairing up to find a good spot on the racetrack to try to jack somebody else's bike. My pitch is that we do the ravines and find a good hairpin turn on the way down because bikes are going to have to slow for a hairpin turn. So hopefully we can find a spot with an outcropping.

So when a bike comes, slows to turn around, that's when we pounce. Now I'm going to jump on that motherfucker, but I saw you vanish, bamf around those houses the other day. Okay, cool. Fearne. Yes. Do you want to come with, or do you want to cause mayhem?

I both. So, yes. I think, I like the idea of the hairpin turn because we can cause a lot of damage and fuckery with that. Wow, great idea. I was thinking of just hanging out with one of you, maybe flying squirrel situation,

and you guys can maybe chuck me onto one of the cars, or one of the things, and then I can kick people off and take over one of the cars. Or one of the things, and then I can, you know, kick people off and take over one of the vehicles. If you're driving a vehicle, then you can't also be doing this. So I say we just keep the three of us to the one vehicle so that we don't need to be first,

we just need to be support for everybody. Okay. Right? How do we feel? Well, are you talking about being Big Fearne? Yeah, I would. Okay. Right? How do we feel? Well, are you talking about being Big Fern? Yeah, I would. Or a little like Polka? I feel like if I could be a little flying squirrel, I could be, you know, you guys could chuck me onto something,

and then I could- A fern grenade? A fern grenade. Oh my gosh. Road squirrels. I love it. Well, we'll see. We'll see what happens. We'll see what happens. Or I could station somewhere else, just alone, and then, you know, go out.

Above the ravine, you can always attack from above. To give us a little bit. SAM and LAURA, and that's the call, is do you want to have a good hiding spot and throw Hellfire down on people as they pass? I think I should be in another spot. I mean, you could also try and sneak on one. That's where? Before we carve.

Yeah, but then if you miss. That's good, too. That's good, too. I'm glad that we had a week to figure this out and we're just doing it right here. Okay, god, that's so cool, though. That's a great idea. We know if we would've texted about this all week, we still would've come up with a new plan.

Okay. Is there, from my sort of, what I can see just walking around, walking through them all, is there one that just looks extra special and the people just a little bit... What looks like the toughest? I mean, there's a spread of figures here

that go from gnarly and twitchy to putting on a front of stalwart aggression. The one that catches your eye, which I think I mentioned in the last session, was Erad Fuckfork. That's why I had the red one. That's why I had Fuckfork. Should I get onto Treshi's, though?

I know that might be small. Treshi isn't racing. Or, I mean, not Treshi. He's Treshi's people. Yes, yeah. Should I? The Paragon's Call. Should I get on the Paragon's Call? Okay.

I am just going to just get around to where I have a little bit of privacy. Okay. I'm going to turn into, let's go with Flying Squirrel, because if I need to glide, I can. Okay, okay. I'm going to get in somewhere

onto the Paragon's Call. Do they have two or one? They have one bike on here outside of you guys that you can tell just from the markings, and it would be the one far over to the side. That we can tell. But I can't cast anything as a squirrel. Yeah, but you can fuck them up.

Does that bike have any added features to it, like ballista or? Yeah, exactly. No ballista or anything. Everyone here seems to have their own weapons at the ready. You see some of them in the back have large rifles situated. Some people have blades at the ready.

Some of them have just bags that you don't know what's in them. People came to play. A lot of them have souped up armor as well. Not all of them. There's a spread depending on who could afford what, but you can see a lot of them have their own custom elements

and bolted in bits of jagged, errant, scavenged metal that sticks out in pointed, jagged ways. Some of them look unwieldy and not very well thought out, but we'll see if it functions. Some of them look like they've been professionally done, maybe through Imahara Joe. Hard to say, but it is a spread. Which of these would you like to try and sneak aboard?

I'm going to try to go for the Paragon's Call one. Okay. So that brings us over to what's called a Jamil Toe Taker. Okay, Toe Taker. Which you see Toe Taker across the side there. You can see up front, there is a man wearing what looks like a ram skull that's broken past the nose, so it's just the eyes are covered

and the horns that curl back with lower faces there. You can see a bunch of red paint smeared across where his nose and mouth are. You can see him scratching it. It's getting a little itchy. Maybe he doesn't even quite know what he put in it first, but it's fine. He's focusing his thick leather armor with spikes on it.

In the back here, you see what looks to be this burly-looking elf woman, half-elf woman, who is just open-sleeved, muscular arms. You see both of them have the same dangling Duskmaven amulets on their neck. She has a massive two-handed axe that has these handle grips on each side that she has set down where her feet are.

Where her feet are, you can see she's tucked her boots underneath metal bars that are bolted in, so she has a grip on it to keep standing on it. Everyone else is keeping low, but she's in a crouched position with her weapons at the ready with a bunch of hand axes. You see a leaning rifle that is situated on the inside. Shit.

That is the Paragon's call. Shit. Okay. From the far left. Good luck! Uh-oh. Okay. All right, we're fine. This is a great idea. Can I, do I see next to me that she's got her feet tucked into a bar like that?

Make a perception check. Oh god. And she's the one who's driving? No, she's the passenger. She's the passenger. No, no, six. Not at all. Shit. And as a note, the drivers do have half cover while you're driving,

because you are in the cockpit, you are mostly covered. The passengers do not. Shit. So. So Fearne, are you sneaking on? Yes. Oh my god. I would like you to roll a stealth check for me using the dexterity modifier of the animal form you took.

Can I get some guidance? Squirrel or rat, whatever sits in that realm. I'm stuck to the front of a fucking thing! I can't! I got to touch her! I can't guide anybody! You can guide yourself. She can guide. Oh, she's a squirrel.

Never mind. Squirrels can't guide themselves. Everybody knows that. What? So as you climb up the side of the vehicle and skitter in, you go underneath one of the metal bars and you're like, oh,

you found a perfect spot to go ahead and hide low. At that moment, you feel a hand grab you, and the half-elf woman's large, muscular arm lifts you to her face and goes, and throws you back into the air, and then goes and pulls what looks to be a pistol out and tries to shoot you out of the air.

Ooh! Damn. That's an 11. What's your AC? Oh, that's got to be that. Oh no, it's a squirrel. Is it a squirrel? It's a squirrel. Okay, wait. I don't think I have a squirrel in here. Wait, what card were you looking at?

I was looking at a rat. The equivalent of a rat is what it would be, yeah. A 10. A 10, it hits you. Shit. Poof. Well, shit. So you take four points of piercing damage.

Okay, okay, that's fine. How many hit points does your rat have? As the rat. As the rat. I understand. I keep putting this away for some reason. Maybe five. Okay. Maybe six. Hit points for rat.

Three, two. Is that, am I looking at this correctly? Probably one. One. 1d4 minus one. So you max of a three. So you get thrown backwards and then crack in the air

and this little squirrel goes into a fern in the middle of the air before tumbling and rolling in the dirt. You take... Well, first off, we'll say, I will roll what your hit points would have been as the rat, which would be a two. So you take two points of piercing damage

left over from your form. So six total? So far? No, just two. Just two to Fjord. Just two to Fjord. I understand, okay, okay. Then you take an additional three points of bludgeoning damage from the impact and roll. The crowd around you goes like,

and the woman with the gun, you could see the metal's bent back a little bit. It misfired and goes, Nice try. Thank you. Puts it away. Cheater! Okay. There aren't a lot of people.

Cheating? Why are you playing the role? I was going to let you. Okay. What's happening? Burst in. Can't see? Don't First hand, can't see? Don't act that you can't see because then you are restricted by it.

Oh, wait, my head can pivot the whole way around. Do you have good perception? I have shit perception. My perception's just one. Mine's just one as well. We can both look. We're both going to check out our bike and see if anybody's fucked with it. Okay, with a make perception check.

Ooh, smart. Nope. Should we oath? Oh, oh, 18. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two, two. All right, yeah, no, looks fine. Yeah, she, yeah. You glancing over,

you don't see anyone's, because you brought the bike with you here, so there hasn't really been an opportunity for anybody to step up and fuck with it. So you glance around and feel pretty confident, though there are people eyeing your bike and formulating their own plans. What you do notice with an 18 is,

amongst the crowds that are happening around, people are gathering, it looks like the tension is building to a point where the race is probably going to start pretty soon. The crowd is starting to pull to the sides. You can see or hear this loud whirring noise and you watch as a mammoth crawler, the large platform one that you saw,

coming through the town, begins pulling up over one of the lower walls nearby, gets raised to give a visual perspective benefit to the rest of the crawler gang. They're hanging on the side to look over the rest of the crowd and get a good view of the start of the race. You also see at the top of one of the watchtowers,

a figure stands up there, cloak whirling in the wind. You see General Rutanish, and to the right of General Rutanish, the figure that looks like the one in your dream. Wait, what? Oh, the woman. The woman. Oh, that's right. They both stand there, looking down over the race.

Does she? I'm staring at her. Does she see me at all? We are wearing our yellows. We are wearing our scarves. Scarves, yep. Yeah. She looks like she's having a conversation and is just taking in the scenery,

but at the moment, doesn't seem to lock in on you at all. Oh man, passion. You okay? What? Isn't that the girl you're fanboying about? Here's the thing, are you guys hiding off at the ravine? Are we going? We probably would have if we're on the verge of starting here, then we left early.

And you guys. Come on. That's all good. So placing you guys off the side for the time being, and then Fearne, as she figures out what she wants to do, here in a second. Okay. But yeah, you notice, and the moment doesn't seem to be clocking you, but you're like, that's her.

That's, the moment of clarity hits you immediately at the distance. You see the frame, the shape, the hair, everything, and you're like, that has to be her. And that cold sweat begins to just gather at the back. You see the frame, the shape, the hair, everything, and you're like, that has to be her. That cold sweat begins to just gather at the back of your neck. And I named it the Red Moon. Yep.

Well, it's not like we're sharing banners or anything. No, fuck it! I'm just going to take my scarf that we have in here and pull it up over my head, just so she can't see my face or my hair. Okay, you go ahead and just wrap it around a little bit. I'm going to grab Ashton's shoulder and just grip his shoulder.

And you hear in your head, We have to drive fast. Okay. Fast it is. It'll be a bit of a slow start, but we're going to get there. I'm going to take some rope that I have and I'm going to try to work it around the chair

in front of me and turn it into some reins like I would use on riding a horse so I can try to hold it like reins so I can keep standing. I won't even make you roll for that because you are a person who grew up riding horses, breaking horses, training horses. You know how to do this very well.

So yeah, you go ahead and pull some, as long as you have rope in your pack somewhere, you or Ashton, you go ahead and situate. We're talking, this is almost dune levels, like sandworm riding style reins at the front that you can hold onto as you go. I remember it's not about fast. It's about fucking mean.

Fearne, what are you doing? Okay. If there's a crowd behind the Paragon's Call. Like over here, there's a bit of a boundary. I'm going to try to get a little hidden, but a little bit close to it. Okay, as Fearne? Yes.

Make a stealth check as Fearne. With a bunch of people around. Shit, why did I just do that? You're sneaking through the crowd and stuff. Get all those bad rolls out now. That was a one. Holy shit! Did you want to go out and go back in?

Shake it up, shake it up. Spin three times. Yeah, close those up. Don't use any of those for the rest of the game. There you go. So as you snake through the crowd, excuse me, excuse me, pushing through, there's about a five-foot gap

between where the crowd ends and where the vehicle is. You're like, and you start walking out boldly in the middle of it. The same woman that just shot you in the air just looks you dead in the face and goes, You back for more, miss? No, this is a very good spot to view the festivities. I want to watch!

Make a deception check. Oh god. Going back in, I'm going back in. No! You're not going to do that! We're trying to do this! Okay, okay. Deception, you said?

Yes. Where is it? Okay. Why is my deception so bad? 16. 16, okay. She looks at you and grins, and you can see the missing teeth. There's maybe four visible.

The rest are either blacked out or gone entirely. But grins and goes, If you're looking for a place to watch, stand right there. And points to the very back of the vehicle, about three feet back. You're cute. That would be dangerous. Yeah.

Well, I don't want to get hurt here. I'm just watching. And watch. That's what I'm doing. Have fun. Oh, we will. We will. Okay.

She turns back and gets ready, and you can feel her now, like some of the nearby power cores at the center of these skirmisher crawlers, the blue energy spheres, the same energy that you've seen all throughout Imahara Joe's shop, but the larger ones that are encased

in almost a metal rib cage at the base of each one start flaring, like brightening as they do the buzzing sound, the weird hum they emit. means to growl and get louder. Casting Mage Armor. Casting Mage Armor on yourself. Looks like people are starting to get situated in

in the middle of the road. Getting the poo rumbles. Yeah. Trials of God. Oh god, I've got the inky the road. Getting the poo rumbles. Yeah. Trials of God. Oh god, I've got the inky sweats again. Oh. Oh goodness. You see one of the

Gajacandas soldiers comes out with bright, almost fluorescent yellow face paint that's pressed across the face and this almost diamond grin appearance and has this large flag that starts white and then just goes to a red ombra, it looks like blood dripping across it, and just drags the pole that's attached to it

through the dirt, creating a line across the way. And as it does, the crowd gets louder and louder and you're like, oh, this connotates beginning soon. As things get louder and the gems within these mechanical beasts begin to hum and burn louder and louder, the light shining on the ground and causing the floor itself to flare up with blue around them. You can see some of the drivers are starting to shout

and curse at each other and Mad Dog, before things begin, goes over to the other side of drawing the line and holds the flag up. Fearne, you have one last chance to do something here. You have any other ideas or are you just going to sit back? I'm just going to sit back and watch right here. Okay, all right. I have an idea.

Okay, with that. Wait, Chetney. Who has the butcher's apron? Chetney has it. Maybe you should wear the butcher's bib for scariness. I have the butcher's thing? Yeah, you have the butcher's bib, the red, bloody bib. The bleeding apron. Yeah, you have the butcher's bib, the red bloody bib.

He has a bleeding apron. Yeah, you took it, didn't you? Unless he put it in the bag of holding. I think I threw it in the hole. We could have. Okay, never mind. It just dripped all over the whole time. It just looked scary.

Yeah. It's so obvi. I think he did. That's a bit obvious. That's good, lord. Okay, okay. Good footing. I'm going to stay.

All right. Stands off and holds aloft the white and red flag into the air. Everything starts to growl louder. And louder. As the sounds begin to rise and build, and the sun, the final last bit of sun begins to just vanish beyond the distant mountains.

The flag. Can I hold Bane? Can I start prepping Bane right for the moment that it goes? I will say sure. I will say sure. The flag whips down with a heavy sound and everything

begins to take off the feet of the back of these giant machines begin to just dig in and push off at a sprint. Dirt and bits of clod and rock get thrown into a giant cloud behind each of them. You watch people in the sidelines at the nearby part of the starting line have to cover their eyes from the dust cloud

that immediately gets kicked up as all the vehicles just tear off forward. I need those who are driving to roll initiative. Okay. Ooh! I got it! Let's go. What do I add to this?

You add your dexterity. Oh, my dexterity? Yeah, because you're the drivers. This is your guys' reaction time. That's right. That is definitely 19. 21. Woo!

Yeah, man. Okay. Oh, oh. I should write this shit down. I should write this shit down. Okay. Okay, 21, go. Ugh. Okay, so check. Oh, right, right, right.

Okay. Fuck it! So 21, 20 to 15? Oh, are we? Oh Oh, are we all rolling? Yes, because to have you guys do your stuff. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Everyone. Everyone who is on a vehicle.

Everyone who's on a vehicle. FCG, you are a vehicle, so you also roll. Yeah. 12. 16. 14. Okay, got it, so we have... Laudna. Laudna. Laudna.

Imogen. What'd you get, Ashley? 10. And FCG, what'd you get? 12. All right. FCG. All righty.

As things push off going forward, everyone begins to just crane down the front of the road. You see the street stretching and winding in front of you. Chetney, you're up first. What are you doing? Can I let off my spell that I was holding? Sure. For this moment. Can I cast Bane at second level on,

I believe the guy in the middle is 30 feet from me, on the driver and passenger of the two that are next to me? So here and here? Those two. All right. And then the next car over those two. Oh my god. You can do four people. If you do it at level two. Level two, if you cast it at a higher level.

You've got it. Bane and Bane. Yes! That's mean as fuck. They get a d4 against saving throws and attacks. Yeah, they're going strong everywhere. You are concentrating. Okay, got it. So.

I'm going to use my two actions to move. I'm going to try and cut off the people to our left in a diagonal movement with my attack action. So that's your movement is to go there? One and then two straight ahead. I'm going to use my bonus action to accelerate. Hold on, letters! Oh, that's right. We can do that.

Whee! There we are. We're at that point. Your tiny wheel is going so fast. Just grinding through. Smoke. This was a great idea. Hold letters.

All right, that finishes your go. So we have... This makes it a target, not what it's going to throw at you. Mm-hmm. All right, so these two here are going to go ahead. Actually, it's these two on this side. This one's going to go ahead and move.

One, two, three. Try and cut off that way. One, two, three. Try and cut off that way. This one here is going to move one, two, and is going to attempt to ram the guys in front of it. SAM and LAURA and SAM and LAURA and SAM D4 minus to its attack, too. That's true. Yeah. And minus four.

That'll miss. It goes to Ram and actually the person in back looks down and pulls a switch and you watch as a metal gate of spikes drops on the back and the person who's driving ends up throttling off to make sure they don't end up jamming their wheel up into this back set of spikes

and holds them off at that point. Spikes. That'll put him about there. That finishes their go for the drivers. The two people in the back are going to go. This one right here is going to take its rifle and fire it towards the driver on the front here. Oh god.

He's going to miss. Even without pain, that was a natural four. The guy gets down and he just ricochets off the front of the vehicle, while this guy in the back goes ahead and pulls up a heavy crossbow and aims it over the top of the driver at the guy who just shot and fires it.

Minus a d4. That's still going to hit. Actually shoots the guy on the back there, who that would be, that's D. He goes ahead and takes, I'm sorry, these are my ABCDs, how I'm keeping tabs of this. D. D. He goes ahead and takes, I'm sorry, these are my, ABCD is how I'm keeping tabs of this. D.

It's not Vampire Hunter. D. It's a case study. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, Vampire Hunter. D, that's drew first blood. Takes 10 points of piercing damage. Stoosh, like it gets shot with a bolt

right to the lower chest area and sticks out and gets down low. You can see now it's reaching into a bag. So it's going to finish their turn. That brings us to Laudna with Imogen on deck. Ah! I've never felt so alive! All right, I'm going to do my bonus action,

as I say that, to unhinge my jaw. My eyes go black and you see my morning veil that almost starts to drape a shadow over the whole back of our crawler. So it's flapping in the wind and I go into my Form of Dread and then. These long black tendrils of dark material that's somewhat sheer just.

Yeah, it is full Adam's Family Car now. Yes, full Hellmobile. I get my bonus points, hang on. I get my bonus points. Hang on. I get my 1d10 of temp hit points. That was a little weak, but it's a six, so it's fine. Better than nothing. Oh god, I'm so nervous.

Then I am going to Eldritch Blast the fuckers next to me and behind me. Okay. So I'm going to attempt to do a first Eldritch Blast at the driver in the front. Right there? The one up front, that guy. Okay, go for it. Go ahead and roll an attack. He has half cover, right?

He has half cover, yeah. He does have Spell Sniper, though, which ignores half and three-quarters. It does, indeed. That's how it's done. That is pretty good. That is 24 to hit. That definitely hits. Right, yes. Eight plus 16, 24 to hit.

Then because of my Form of Dread, they have to make a charisma, wisdom. Roll damage first. You're already up. Damage on the first driver. Oh my god, I'm sorry. Would you roll to hit on the second driver? I haven't rolled yet.

Second driver, that's a six, so plus eight, which is 14. 14 misses. The second one ricochets off the front of the vehicle, leaving a dark streak. Okay. First one takes how much damage? The first one takes 12 damage. 12 damage, you got it, okay. And they have to make a...

Sorry, wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving throw. That is a natural, well, actually it's minus four because of Bane. Which, yeah, no, that ends up making it a 10. So he is frightened of me. Okay, so he has to try and move away from you until he saves from it. Is he the driver?

He is the driver. Ooh. And then I still have another Eldritch Blast, so I'm going to try and hit the driver in the back again. Fucking these guys up. You got it, yeah. Race is over. Go home. That should be better. That is 17 to hit.

Wait, sorry, so you hit and then you missed. That's two Eldritch Blasts, you already shot. I have three Eldritch Blasts now, don't I? What? I think you only have two until level 11. Count two. You're right. It's all good. You're right. I have those two, so I'm good.

Two beams. That's all good. Beam beam! Beam beam! Come on. But that one guy's afraid of me. There it is. Beam beam beam! Beam, Sam, beam, Sam, beam.

So this guy is also frightened. Good to know. Okay. Okay, awesome. Damage done. That's my turn. That finishes your go. Imogen, you're up. All right. I'm going to Twin Spell.

Okay. I'm going to look at both the drivers of the cars next to me and say, you should probably brake and command them both to hit the brakes. Okay, what's the DC on that? It is Wisdom of 15. Wisdom of 15, got it. Brake, what's the DC on that? It is a wisdom of 15. Wisdom of 15, got it.

Break. That's great. That is a miss there. Then that's going to be an 18 on this guy. So this guy succeeds, but the Paragon's call on that side failed. Great. So I'm just going to go ahead and mark him for breaking when it gets to his turn. Great, and then for my bonus action, I'm going to, is that a goblin next to his turn. Great, and then for my bonus action,

I'm going to, is that a goblin next to me on the other side? On the other side, yeah. I'm going to use my telekinetic shove and try to push them five feet off the car. Okay, what's the DC on this one? Strength save? That is a strength save of, I think, 15 as well. 15 as well, okay.

That is a failure. He gets shoved off the back, and for the purposes of this, I'll say he's holding on, barely, but it's going to take his whole next action to try and get back on there. Okay. All right, does that finish your turn?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Now it's their go. Oh god. So this guy, since they took off sprinting, he gets one movement. Perfect control. Yeah. Before he begins to take the command that you did and doesn't use his bonus action

or anything else to move forward, and just slows down, which means he loses two moves. Like, means to break and stands there before that ends that command on this point. That's his go. This person's going to go ahead and- Does his friend get also? Oh no, he made the save. Oh, okay.

No, I mean the other person on the ride. This is just, well, you committed just two of them, right? Just the two drivers? Yeah, I committed both the drivers, yeah. Two, and then. I'm going to go to three up there. Oh yeah, you got an appetite for some action? Let's go!

Those are the two drivers there. Now the people in the back, the goblin is going to climb back up into it, look back at this side angrily, and you, just growls, like spittle shooting out of its mouth. Its hat flies off and it's like, and loses it and whips past your head, vanishing into the dust behind you.

He was putting his hand in a satchel at his side, glaring at you, but that's his turn. This woman back here, the half-elf that was talking to Fearne earlier, you see grabs two of the hand axes and is going to lean back, seeing that you just cast and cause them to slow down angrily, looks back at you, and is going to lob both of them at an arc,

but they throw them forward, away from you. Fuck yeah. Then they both arc back with the speed towards you rapidly. Yeah, we got to lead them. I can't react to that. That's going to be a 16 to hit? 16 is my armor class.

And 20 to hit. Fucking hell. Am I? So both hand axes So close? In this sense. Can I do anything? If you, I will say.

That's a side note. Okay, so they just took off. I'll say anything within a 60-foot range, or sorry, 120-foot range of a spell of yours, anything beyond there, you wouldn't be able to, and you probably can't hit these guys over here. I'd say probably because they've all just took off, you can affect either of these guys here if you want to.

I'll wait until everybody's, yeah. But you do take 12 points of slashing damage. Okay. As both these axes shrink off you and then tumble into the dust behind you. You feel a pain hit your body, and you see them grin as they reach down for the next set of weapons.

My hit points are at one right now. That's, yeah. You've taken a short rest before this, so you should definitely be at full. That's going to finish there. Go FCG, it's your turn with Ashton on deck. I'm a wheel. Could you say everything is

. Everything is fine! I'm just going to, I'm just going to. You have no movement. Yes, I have no movement. I'm just going to use an action no movement. Yes, I have no movement. I'm just going to use an action. I feel like I can protect us. I feel like we need some protection.

So I'm going to focus and... Oh boy, I hope we have a good day today. Please protect us. I'll cast Spirit Guardians. Okay. I would like them to be in the form of turtle shells that Yes!

Yes! Are going around us. Come on, Mollad! Come on, Team Dry Bones, let's go! I respect that. Okay. So I put that about there, which means it'll affect any vehicle,

we'll say that is either directly adjacent to you, right, left, front, or back. It won't hit the diagonals, but it'll definitely hit anyone that's immediately around there. And so you are also concentrating on that, so we'll keep tabs on you for the concentration, we'll say. That's awesome.

Okay. Does it affect any of those, or they would have to ram us? This will affect them at the top of the next turn. If I recall, the effect happens when they enter. I'll double check, but yes, keep going. Okay, so finishing FCG's go, Ashton, you're up. It's time to motherfucking rage.

So let's see what you got. Let's see what the fuck happens. Shit, but that's okay. That's okay. Actually. Now, for instance, to clarify, because this is not a combat, the rage can last you per section of this race. So right now, this rage will last for the skids. If you want to do it for any other future section,

you have to expend another rage, but you do get to roll again when you do it, but you're going to be spending rages for the whole race if you want to do it. That's okay. This is interesting. I got gravity. So everything goes a little grayscale just around the front of the bike.

This is going to be very strange. All you watch is all the dust being kicked up by this one in front of the both of you. The rocks flying overhead cling to the sides of the vehicle. They're all being pulled in towards Ashton. All right. So that's your bonus action.

So I'm going to, oh god, can I do that? Can you, no, I can't hold movements, but if movement's an attack, can I hold an attack movement? I'm sorry, what? No, never mind, it won't work. I'm going to spend one movement forward and one movement. You mean to ram, you mean?

Yeah, I was going to, well, yeah, I'll be curious. We'll see how ramming works because of the gravity well. Right. But I'll say, if you're taking your action as a movement, you can use that to attack, but otherwise the rest of it's just movement. All right, I'm going to move one forward and one diagonally to the right.

There you go. Yep. Now, both of these guys are within your, is it 10-foot radius for your gravity? It is a 10-foot radius. Keep that in mind for next turn. 15-foot radius. 15-foot radius, that will actually It is a 10-foot radius. So keep that in mind for the next turn. 15-foot radius. 15-foot radius. That will actually get all three of them, technically. Yeah. All right.

Good to know. So for that point, that brings us back to the top. Chetney, you're up. Fucking awesome! Do I see a bunch of fucking turtle shells? Yeah. Spectral turtle shells going,

. Because I was a turtle once. It's always my favorite thing. We're going to lean into this shit. I love it. We're going to lean into this shit. I'm going to try and slam into the left side. Okay.

Because that'll extend the spirit guardians one row over. Yes. Okay, so go ahead and make an, I'll say make an attack roll. Okay. With, yes. I think I can use slam plus six. Whoa!

That is 14 to hit. 14 to hit? Yes. Does not, unfortunately, beat its AC. So you slam into the side of it, but it's a very heavily armored vehicle. Sparks go shooting into your face, FCG. It's like, so you slam into the side of it, but it's a very heavily armored vehicle. Sparks go shooting into your face, FCG. It's like, oh! But as you slam into it, you look across the way

and you see this intense-looking man, long black hair that would go down to his mid-back that are just flowing back to his head. He glances over at you and his eyes are just wide and crazed. You see he has this black streak painted over his face that goes down to his neck and he has no armor on, just an open chest.

He looks at you and and he growls as you push into the vehicle and he pushes back and kicks you back on the side. So that is your action with a failed slam, unfortunately. Great. Bonus action. I will accelerate ahead. Okay. One additional space there.

All right, that's your action, your bonus action. That's it. Okay. You have your movement still, but you want to stay there? Oh, action is one, movement is second, bonus is three. If you spend it all, you can do three in a turn, but the slam action is an attack, so in theory, it's like you can move, move, and then do one slam.

Yeah, then I'll try and move in front of them, so we're directly in front of them. Yes! Get in the zone! The turtle zone! They start their move in the turtle zone. That's our next sponsor. There you go.

All right, cool, that finishes your go? Yep. All right, it is now C&D's go, which is right here. So the top of the round, what happens to them? You spear guardians? Oh, oh, sorry. That's me. If they fail their save, they take 3d8 either radiant or necrotic damage.

Okay. Depending on whether I'm good or evil. 8d8? 3d8. All right, so he, that's a three on the driver. It's a wisdom 14 save. Yeah, so that's a failure for him. And I'll say, because it's on you in the front, it'll only affect the driver.

It won't affect the guy in the back, which makes sense. Technically. Yeah. I'll just consider that there. So he fails, he takes 3d8 damage. Go ahead and roll that. All right. Five, eight, five. Sorry, five, three, five is 13 points of damage. Plus he is also slowed,

but I don't know if that affects him as a driver. Unfortunately, it doesn't affect him as the driver, necessarily, but I will say, I'll say for the purposes of this, it prevents him from accelerating next turn. Okay. Because it isn't his movement, but I'll say the effect purposes of this, it prevents him from accelerating next turn. Okay. Because it isn't his movement, but I'll say the effect of the spell prevents him

from getting his bonus action accelerate. Okay. He's also frightened. I know, he's going to try and get the hell away from you. I don't know. Pointing it out. So that is the top of their turn. He is going to, he doesn't get a bonus action,

but he's definitely going to move here and then here to just get the hell away from you, and that's all it can do. He doesn't get a third move. Going about there. Got it. Okay, now mind you, as this is going from round to round, each round is more like a few moments

in the middle of this. Sure, sure. So this is long stretches and then quick little skirmishes and then moving and blasting forward. So this is, we're not going to do an entire race round seconds to seconds. So we move 30 feet so far. Exactly. This is all just cruising as it goes.

All right, so with that, he's going to move that way. The driver of the D is going to go ahead and pull out his carbine rifle over there. With Bane, he's going to go ahead and take a shot at you, Laudna. So it's you who's fricking out his driver on his side. Oh, Laudna. Side.

Nice deal. With Bane, brings it to a 14. Oh, he just hits. Oh! Okay. With that, you take a carbine shot up the side there.

That is eight points of piercing damage to you as it hits across the thigh and almost knocks you down for a second. You see as one of the long hanging tethers of darkness tears away and vanishes into the sky. But that's going to finish up his turn. Then these guys over here on C is going to go ahead and move.

One, two, they're going to enter. Actually, no, they're going to move this way to try and stay out of the radius of the shells. Would they burn a movement because they're getting out of my gravity well? They would. Do they get a save for that? Uh, no. No, they just a save for that? Uh, no. No, they just have.

Yeah, it's currently no. I don't know if we talked about changing that. Oh, what if they just start in the radius, their movement is half? They lose, yeah, they technically get pulled towards me, so like 10 feet, so. Then? But if they're moving.

I don't know how that would work on a bike, so. Right, well, the bike would be affected by the gravity. So read me what the ability says again. You generate an aura of heavy gravity. All creatures start their turn within 15 feet of you are pulled up to 10 feet directly toward you and have disadvantage on attack. I see, so yeah.

So I can control that. So what I'll say is it reduces, they lose a movement. So there's one, two, and that's as much as they can get. So they're just leaning up into space. I have minor control. Okay, finishing that guy's go on the back, is going to go ahead and, at this distance, is going to take the heavy crossbow again,

and is going to go ahead and fire at, is going to fire a Chetney. Chetney is the driver on that side there. Okay, we're winning, Chetney! That, with a bane, puts it at, he rolled a three. Yeah! With your half cover on that,

it just ricochets off and vanishes off in the distance. No effect there. Finishing their go, we're back up to Laudna with Imogen on deck. Okay. Two more Eldritch Blasts to both the drivers again. Let's try this again.

First one. Ooh, that's good. That's a 15, so 23. 23 hits. And that's 10 damage. Okay. And we'll do that one on the one, and we'll keep that one up on this one.

On the one that's afraid of you? Yes. Okay. Because it ends at the end of my turn. That's not as good at all. 11 on the other one. Misses again. Which guy was that attack? That guy, by the way, he would have tried to-

They say he sees down, too, if he's slow. Negative two. Well, slowed is- It's not slowed. It's not slowed. He just has half movement. Yeah. Oh. No, good looking out. So for this instance, you hit him, you do damage. He gets to roll again to see if he's frightened

until the end of next turn, right? This guy, yeah, he just is frightened until he, yes, he has to do another wisdom save. Natural 20. Oh fuck, shit, yes. Damn it. I will do a sorcery point. I'll drop a sorcery point.

Okay. I want to try and clear the way for our other team. Is this guy, I don't have, is this guy with- Fearne, is this something you wanted to do, by the way? Because I know you're holding. Yes, go, go, go, finish. I can go. We'll finish this turn and we'll go in with what you were doing.

Is this guy within 30 feet of me? This situation, this one? Yeah, looks, go, finish. I can go. We'll finish this turn and we'll go in with what you were doing. Is this guy within 30 feet of me? This situation, this one? Yeah, looks like he would be. I would say he's on the cusp. I'd say, yeah, he's about, I'd say he's at 30 feet. Okay. I'm going to. This is an exaggerated space. I'm going to target the driver.

Let's see how this goes. And I'm going to cast Infestation at him. Okay. Let's see how this goes. I'm going to cast Infestation at him. Okay. What? So I open my mouth, and a bunch of bees fly out of my mouth. What? All the bees?

I'm full of bees. Yes, all bees. I go, and they go to that guy. Okay, he has to make a constitution saving throw on his point there, which with a natural three is not going to make it. Okay, he has to make a constitution saving throw on his point there, which with a natural three is not going to make it. We're going 60 feet, so they all just go

. And they just splatter the way. Fuck. Oh no! Just. These bees arc and they get and shunted back in this direction and just.

They don't swarm him. They just splatter against his face. Sorry, bees. Like a windshield. Just on half the live one, it's like. Yep. He takes six damage, six poison damage. Okay.

And then, okay, it takes 1d6 poison damage, I rolled a six, it moves five feet in a random direction. If it can move, its speed is at least five feet. Then I roll a d4. We have a swarm of bees that are all splattered? Well. The guy. You know, that was our own plan.

The guy got covered in bees. He had a Nicolas Cage moment. Now he moves in a random direction, maybe. So, all right, go ahead and roll a d4 for me. Okay. Roll for Cage damage. One. One is north, wishful sense.

So he actually gets a little bit ahead on that one. Ugh, fuck me. That's how the dice rolls, but good looking enough. All right, all right. All right, that finishes Laudna's go. We're losing! Imogen, you're up. Okay. I'm going to use my bonus action

to look over at the goblin next to me and try to shove him off the other way this time. Okay. That is going to be a natural 16 plus one, 17. Doesn't work. Then I'm going to throw my other hand out. Oh no, I'm not going to be a natural 16 plus one, so 17. Doesn't work. Then I'm going to throw my other hand out. And I'm going to, oh no, I'm not going to do that because I'm holding onto the reins.

Just kidding. I'm going to use my same hand again. And I'm going to cast Tasha's Mind Whip at both the drivers of the one next to me and the Paragon's Call drivers. Yeah, and they just hear in their heads a really loud-ass shriek to hopefully make them fucking swerve.

You got it, okay. So what's the save on that, wisdom? Intelligence. Intelligence, ooh. That is a 15 exactly on this one here. Okay. Just rolled a natural 15, no bonuses. The other one? Natural 17, so they both succeed. Yes, four. I understand. Good rolls on this one here. Okay. Just roll a natural 15, no bonuses. The other one? Natural 17, so they both succeed. I understand.

Good rolls on that one. Cool. I do nothing. Do they take any half damage or anything, or is it just a hit or miss? Oh, you know what? They might have done something. That's a good idea. I should look. On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage.

All right, so go ahead and roll damage. Just roll once and we'll look. 3d6. Whoa. Come on. Blow one in there. That's a good laugh, right? Five. Five, okay. Is that the halved or?

No, that's five total. That's the screen. So it's two? Yes. Oh! Or three, if Matt's thinking. Ah! Okay, so as the scream echoes into their brains, it goes like, and they swerve a little bit, then they continue gunning and pushing forward.

Looking out good. Yeah, looking good. That finishes your good? Good. It's now their go. So this goblin in the back. Can I try something? Oh yeah, now you can try something. What do you want to do? Okay, okay. So the Paragon's Call vehicle,

I would like to cast Heat Metal to one of the back legs of the vehicle. Okay. Ooh! Saucy. I would like. Do you have Detach for Heat Metal? Yeah, 60-foot range. It's a 60-foot range. Sweet. Okay, so yeah.

So you go ahead and concentrate, and one of the back legs begins to just heat up brighter and brighter and brighter. Actually, it's less than a single leg, but the whole back back legs begins to heat up brighter and brighter and brighter. Actually, it's less than a single leg, but the whole back of it begins to brighten up, so keep that in mind. Okay. Which heats up rapidly. The guy in the back immediately takes 2d8 fire damage.

Nice! Go ahead and roll that. Okay. As you see, the satchel on the back of the vehicle immediately ignites and begins to burn. He's like, shit! Then he's kicking it out, and then all of a sudden, it's like, ah, ah, ah, shit, ah, ah.

She's having a rough time back there. We got a two. And we got a six. Nice! Eight. Eight. Oh, and her little feet are tucked into the metal, too, aren't they? One of them is. She's kicking it out, yeah, so it's burning her feet.

That's where she takes the damage. As it happens, looks back over and glances. She's just moving out of the range, has no idea it's you, because there's too much dust behind now at this point. But there you go. So the heat metal is now continued, and you can, we'll say, for each.

I'll just try to keep moving with them. With them? Okay. They are now so far beyond you. Oh, they're far. Okay, okay. They're like, from a standpoint, you got the heat metal off right as they went. We're just timing it out a little differently,

and they are way ahead of you now. But you have heat metal on their snare, so we'll let you a few more times to trip. Can I use Cunning Action and Dash now? Is this how Cunning Action works? You can, yeah. Okay. You'll move 30 feet. Okay, okay. So you're trying move 30 feet. Okay, okay.

So you're trying to keep up. In addition to my 30 feet? Correct. Okay, so 60? You're also pushing through a crowd and trying to get through. True, okay. So we'll say, yeah. At this point, you gather, you're probably going to lose them very quickly.

You might get another round of visual to another round or two in visual to trigger the heat metal. Great, okay. But then after that, you're going to have to wait for them to come back around. It's like chasing cars down the Andy Peltland. Yeah. Great, okay. But then after that, you're going to have to wait for them to come back around. It's like chasing cars down the Andi pipeline. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can make it! Good looking out. Okay. So now it's their go. The goblin finishes reaching into the satchel and pulls out this small iron sphere that immediately starts sparking on one side and flings it out in the direction to where both Ashton and you are.

I need you both to make dexterity saving throws as well as the vehicle. Goddamn it. Ooh. Oh boy. This could go real bad. Is your gravity pulling it towards you? No, it's not, right?

Yes, it is. Oh god. Just me, not anything else. Correct, so you have disadvantage. Just you who's on the front. Yeah, so. We have a vehicle. Dexterity save. No. And you have a bomb on board.

20 for me. 20 is a success. So you only take eight points of fire damage. Roll good. Yeah, that dexterity save. And you have a bomb on board. 20 for me. 20 is a success. You only take eight points of fire damage. Roll good. Yeah, that's not bad. Just roll good. No, I didn't. Nine? You take 16 points of fire damage. Halved. He's dying.

Because of raging. Raging doesn't do half fire damage, though. Oh, it's fire damage. Okay, 16. Eight points of fire damage? Eight points of fire damage, you do. As a small bomb explodes in the cockpit of the vehicle drawn towards you.

It arcs over and sticks to your chest from the gravity well. Fuck! And detonates in the middle of the vehicle. Flames just erupt around it. As the flames immediately pucker out from the explosion, you, Imogen, are like, you just managed to guard yourself,

and Ashton's sitting there like a Tex Ravy cartoon character, just a dark soot smear across the face, and holding on, wide-eyed. The vehicle also takes a little bit of a roll. It didn't do a dex. Go ahead and roll a dex. Is it just the dex number, or yeah?

Yeah, just minus. Yeah, say it. That's 12. 12, that's just when it needed to succeed. Okay. So it takes eight points of fire damage to the vehicle. Mark that. Did it? say it. That's 12. 12, that's just when you need to succeed. Okay. So it takes eight points of fire damage to the vehicle, mark that. Did it? Say it.

Did it? Did it hit the bomb? Well, you have to set that, right? It was in the beorn. But it hit in front of you and not behind. It's not in the beorn, it's in front of me. It's in front of you? It's behind me. It's between them.

You did make your dex save. Yeah. So that would come out the the beorn. It's in front of you? It's behind me. Yeah. It's between them. You did make your dex save. Yeah. So that would come out the chest beorn for you holding it. It was not there. We moved it. While we were talking. Okay. Yeah, that was talked about. Then because you made your dex save,

I'll say you saw it happening and protected it. I took the fire damage. If you had failed your dex save, that would have been a different scenario. Okay, okay, okay. But it also reminds you, they're also playing with fire and you're carrying a bomb. Yeah, so maybe you guys need to hear the back story.

And with that, this one's going to cruise forward. playing with fire and you're carrying a bomb. Yeah, so maybe you guys need to get out of the back door. With that, this one's going to cruise forward. Playing with fire. They lose 10 feet cruising forward. They lose one movement cruising forward. You're right, so they only get there. Good looking out. Okay. Come on, Ashton. With their, the other one.

Let's get up next to our friends. It's going to cruise over this way. This one with a giant double axe is going to reach down and pick it up. It's burning the feet. Ugh! And take a giant swing with the axe towards you, Laura. If she hits me, I'm dead.

Yeah, she's bad. That is going to be... You're within 30 feet of me. 14 hit? Not yet. No! I have major armor. That's right! So you look out of the corner of your eye

and you see the vehicle cruising in towards you. You see her screaming and swinging this axe and you don't have time to avoid it and you're waiting for the impending moment. As it goes to strike you, the arcane shield that you've put around your body shunts it off to the side and she almost loses her balance for a second

before catching back on there. Then she's going to use. She hears in her head, Oh shit! So that's one. Like this? Loops in there. Oh yeah. Two. This is going to use. She hears in her head, oh shit! So that was one. Moves in there. Oh yeah. Two.

This is going pretty good, actually. Yeah, this is actually pretty great. Also loses 10 feet. No, it didn't start in the radius. So it's going to cruise in in that space there. Okay. We are. So that brings us now to FCG and Ashton. Oh. Everything is going.

FCG and Ashton? I think it's FCG first, right? Yes, FCG and then Ashton. Oh boy, I didn't know it was going to come back around so fast. Um, uh... Buh. I buh. I buh.

I can see them. I can see Imogen's hurt, but there's not much I can do. I can give you a Healing Word. You got a word? Yeah. What's the range on Healing Word? 60 feet. 60 feet? I'll allow it from there. Yeah, I'll do a Healing Word on you at second level.

Nice. That's 2d4 plus three. Four. Oh, oh, oh. Four. That's 11 perts of damage. Great. Three, four. Oh, oh, oh! Four! That's 11 perts of damage. Great. Restored. That's great!

And for my action, I think I will use, Sympathetic Binding is not a spell, it's just an effect that happens. It's your channel divinity, yes. So I can just do that? Yeah, as an action. I'll use that as an action,

and I'll sympathetic, I can only do it within 30 feet, so I'll sympathetically bind to Laudna. And also Chetney, the driver. Okay, so you've sympathetic bonded both of them. Yes. All right, great. So they're connected on that point. I will also note, I'll allow it for this point being,

for the Healing Word, but you are also welded in, like your chest. So you have limited vision because you can't really turn. I just assumed my head could spin all the way around, but maybe that's not true. But even then, it would be blocked. What I'm saying, if anyone is too far behind you, like if they were positioned here.

Can't see them. You can't see anyone. You're right. So you have a visibility of barely here in that space. Okay, that's good to know. But yeah, that's good. That finishes your go, though. For my movement, I'll just go, ah! That's valid.

Ashton, you're up. I'm just a person. I'm going to move forward. Move forward, I'm going to get, see how far forward can I pull? You can go one, two, three. Yeah. That will do it? I mean, yeah.

I'll put you there? Yeah, we're doing that. Okay, let's go. You think that'll work for, are we too far away for plan B or no? It might be too far away for that, but I can try other things and save that. I'm like, hope so is going well.

Yeah, because I'm worried, but yeah. All right, all right. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good. Okay, so finishing that go, vehicles are racing around, curving around on Big Ben. You watch as the people are screaming in the streets and people are throwing ribbons and streamers.

People are throwing rocks and things to just fuck with the view you have. I'm dropping gravity, too, sorry. Okay, so you're dropping the rage to gravity? Okay, so that goes away. You now see a big hairpin turn that's now careening through one of the major skids' neighborhoods.

It looks very, very intense. I need all the drivers to make a dexterity check for me. Just roll a d20 and add your dexterity modifier. Can my wheels take this? Do the passengers have to make a save to not fall off? Well, it depends on what they roll. Oh god. So we'll see. 22.

22, all right, you are fine. Natural 20. Natural 20, you're fine. I used the gravity drop to just make that. What a nice hand. Yeah, that's awesome. Fuck, fuck, it makes its own gravity! Six of us? What's a fail?

What if I attack you? Oh shit, okay. So that is going to be... Buck. Buck. Buck. Buck. Buck. Bucket. Buck Bucket. Yeah, Buck Bucket.

Buck Bucket. Okay, so you watch as everyone's turning around, craning, some of them end up colliding and one of them hits the side of a building and in doing so, they lose a little bit of ground. So this one gets sent back one. This one gets sent back one. Yes. Yes.

And this one gets sent back one. Yes. Yes. Over here. This is good. Right as you all come skirting around the center, you notice that there is a bystander in the road who is just walking out the road, not paying attention, and turns. And just in a split second, you notice that there is a bystander in the road who is walking out the road, not paying attention, and turns, and just in a split second, you glance and see it looks to be an old woman

who's carrying a bag of fruit. You go like, Why? I love it. What is she doing? One, two, three, four, five, six. We'll see whose lane she's in. No!

Six, those guys there. Try and maneuver. I know, we're doing the old, I don't know who we're cheering for. They have failed their next duty check on the vehicle. No! Wham! Slam right into her. She goes,

and flies to the audience, and they lose two ground. Oh! Black five for us on that one. Oh, you sacrificed your seat! She's gone, she's done! Who knows, you didn't see her. Keep moving.

I hit Kynan in the back of the head and his face fell off! She's gone! His head fell off! I'm sure she's fine. I'm sure she's fine. She's fine, she's fine. Yeah, she went limp into it, it was fine. It always looks good.

Unless you see a body, they're fine. Unless you see a body, they're fine. Unless you see a body, they're going to come back. We're doing good. All right, this is going to be the last round of the skids as we're now cruising into the final part of the skid neighborhood and begin heading towards the top of the ravine. At the top of the round, Chetney, you're up.

I am up. At the start of the ravines, we found an outcropping. Okay, so coming up. I am up. At the start of the ravines, we found an outcropping. Okay, so coming up. All right. Yeah, so I'm going to use... I am. I am going to actually decelerate,

and I'm going to move at a left southern diagonal. So I slide in behind Imogen and Ashton. Smoking the bandit action. And then I'm going to accelerate to the left to put us between Ashton. Smoking the bandit action. Then I'm going to accelerate to the left to put us between Ashton and the other one and put both people in our ring of turtles. You got it. Nice. That's the way to do it.

Incredible. And with my action, since that was my movement and my bonus action, I'm going to cast Invisibility. Ooh. On you? On your part, yeah. Okay. You vanish.

That's nobody's driving. Oh my god! Mine rider! Oh my god! I'm going to take the win! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

We got that? We got that? Ooh! All right, this is perfect. This is a vibe. This is everything I wanted in life. I love it, that's great. the vibe. This is perfect. This is a vibe. This is everything I wanted in life. I love it, that's great. All right. Oh my god. I don't recommend this.

Does that finish your turn? Yes. I don't recommend this. Okay, so finishing your turn. C is going to try and catch up. One, two, three, just gain some ground on that one. Then the one marked as T, which is up front here. First, I need to go ahead, That one, and then the one marked as D, which is up front here. First, I need to go ahead,

makes a saving throw, fails. Go ahead and roll 3d8 damage to the person in the back of the vehicle in front of you. Amazing rolls, eight, seven, and seven. Whoa! So that's 23, right? Holy. No, wait, 14 plus eight is 22.

22. 22. The person in the back gets clocked by one of the spectral turtles. You see them clutch the back of their head and they look back over like, they pull their hands back and the back of their head is just bloody. They don't even know how bad it is.

They don't look at their hands, but they're looking real rough. Wow. With that, at that point, they're going to go ahead and reach into what looks to be a bag at the front and pulls something out that's a tangled mass of metal and goes and throws it over their shoulder. As they do, you watch it open up.

It is a wire net of some kind that completely encompasses the vehicle that you guys are on. You can see now, as it goes over, it blocks part of your view, it gets tangled in the feet, and now you see the vehicle sputtering and grinding as you, FCG, are just like, Get out!

It's pulling and dangling, pulling apart. Was that his action? Did he have to make a roll or anything for that? So he just throws it behind. You need to make a dexterity saving throw for the vehicle to see if you can avoid it. It is a minus one to its dexterity for the vehicle. For the vehicle.

Seven. So no, it does find purchase on the vehicle and you currently have a wire net attached to it. And is it made of rope wire, like metal wire? Yeah, like metal chain links behind it. It's grinding and tugging up into stuff. While it's on, you get one move a turn. Okay.

So you don't get the bonus action against it. You don't get your action. You can only move with it. And the longer it's on there, it takes more damage as it's grinding it and caught up in the machinery of the beast. Does it deal any damage on this first throw, on it landing? No.

Okay. But it once, one. Yes. At the top of the driver's turn is when it kicks in. With that, he's going to go ahead and pull forward. There we go. Ah, he fell down. That's a good one. They're winning! We're not in the lead anymore!

Is that including the double speed to get out of the turtle net? Oh, that's right, because it only gets two speed. Well, that wasn't the driver that got it, actually. Yeah, the driver gets half speed. Yeah, the driver was not in the radius there, but the driver behind you will probably. All right, so that finishes their go.

And with that, that brings us to D-Dash Remover. Yeah, that finishes their go. And with that, that brings us to D. That's where we move. That finishes their turn. Laudna, then Imogen. Oh my god. I am not prepared for what just happened. Wire net is tough. Anything can happen. Wire net is tough.

Um, shit. I don't know what I can do to help that. So it's wire? Is it over us completely? It's over most everyone. I would say it's mostly the front of the vehicle and Chetney. You're not in the net necessarily,

but the net is now pressed against and is grinding and sparks are shooting out and you can see the machinery starting to get tangled up and it's going to do damage continuously the longer it's stuck. Shit. Try to physically pull it off. Uh, fuck, I guess so. This is not going to go well.

I can already feel it. I'm going to crawl, I guess, over Chet to the front and see if I can throw it off. Okay, go ahead. What would that be? We got to check that box before we totally get off this thing entirely. I know. And I know FCG's in the front. It's a strength check,

which is not what I do in the slightest. There's always a chance. Come on, see if you can do it. Everyone has a moment. I'm trying to think if I have something creative here, but not really. Oh my god. Okay, okay. This is going to be a natural 20.

Yeah. Use the rhinestones. Oh, well, no, that was bad. SAM and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA thought it was higher than it was. She thought it was a 21. I thought it was an 18. Nine. Nine. You pull

and it tangles in even further and you let go and you have to grab a hold to not accidentally stumble off the vehicle and you slowly move back to your perch and that's going to be your action. I can try. Yeah. Fuck. No, I can't do it.

That's it, that's my action, right? Eat the net. C.J., eat the net! Oh my god! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Oh my god.

Unless you get a bonus action. Well, I can do another, I can burn a sorcery point, right? That's true, you get a bonus action. Well, I can do another, I can burn a sorcery point, right? That's true, you got a spell you want to do. Ah! I'm mad, so I'm going to burn a sorcery point, and I turn around to the fuckers behind me, and I'm going to try something else new.

I'm going to experiment, and I'm going to wrap my hands around the front of their metal spikes on the front of their- You're going to try and grab the front of the vehicle behind you? Well, they're in my assholes, so I figure that they might be grappable. Okay, sure, sure. Are they not grappable?

Narratively, let's go for it. What are you going to do? There he is. Oh, yeah. Are you jumping over to them? I am turning around, and I'm going to grab, and I'm going to try and do Shocking Grasp. Okay, so you're trying to grab the vehicle. Yes, Shocking Grasp.

So it's against the AC of the vehicle. Go for it. So go ahead and roll your spell attack modifier against their skirmisher crawler. It is right behind you, so I'll allow it. 19. 19 hits! Oh, that's good. Yeah! For five damage.

Five points of damage. Oh, do you have advantage on the attack roll if the target is wearing armor made of metal? Yes, very much so. Let's just see if it's a natural 20. Nope. Nope, but hey, worth good looking out. Okay.

People touching you. It can't take reactions until the start of its next turn and it was lightning damage. Okay. Whatever that means for that. Do I notice if it did anything special because it's lightning damage? I mean, something arcs through it. Looks like what you notice.

It looks pretty rad. As you then release and pull back and grab onto the side of your hair, flowing back, your veil's still trailing in front of you, and you can see the driver behind like, it's definitely making an impact. Okay, cool. Finish your turn? Yeah. All right.

So now it's their go. Wait, I haven't gone. Oh, sorry, no, you're up next. I'm sorry. That's okay. Then they go. Wait, I haven't gone. Oh, sorry, no, you're up next. I'm sorry. That's okay. Then they go. Can I get an idea of how much that chain-ness would weigh? It looks like it weighs a fair amount. Like, it's meant to be weighed down

with gravel and stuff. It's very heavy. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. The way he threw it was like a and then it released over the shoulder and it unfurled as he threw it. Okay. I have nothing that can help them then. Okay.

I'm going to save my spell for when Ashton moves. Okay, so you're holding until action's good. I'm holding, yes. Okay, what are you holding? A spell. But can I use my bonus action before that? Or do I need to save everything?

Yeah, you can do that. It's the bonus action, and then you begin to hold your spell. Okay, then I'm going to bonus action try to push this guy out in the back. I'm just constantly going to try to shove him off. The guy up there? Yeah. What's the range on your shove? Come on.

It is... It's your kinetic shove. How do you own? I just can't find it. Cool, it's not, wait, hold on. It's got to be here somewhere. 30 feet? 30 feet. He's technically two spots away. I'll allow it.

Because it's fun. You try and shove. Natural 19. I'm sorry. Even with the emergency d4 to see if you can drop that? No, I wouldn't drop that. It does have pain. It does have pain. There's pain.

That lowers it to an 18. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good try. So what spell are you holding? Oh. What spell are you holding? Oh! What spell are you holding for Ashton's go? I was going to hold Lightning Bolt. Got it, okay.

So as you're holding onto that, just for the acknowledgment of what spell may be lost if it doesn't go off, but you're holding it and waiting for the moment for it to go, finishing your turn, it is now these guys' turn. This one here, knowing that you're on... Actually, hmm.

This one's going to move one, two, and then three up to the side there. God fucking damn it. And that's going to be, it's going, that one, the one in the back is going to go ahead and, you're the one who's trying to do stuff, but really not doing anything.

It's going to try to attack you now with the axe as it tries to swing onto the side. That is a natural four plus. Your miniature for sure looks the best on the back. Yeah. 100%. That's a nine to hit. So sling is wide, no impact. She's going to get that off at some point.

So that's going to finish their go. This one is going to go ahead and up to the edge here, then pull ahead and then pull ahead there to gain some ground. All right, finishing their go. This one is going to go ahead and up to the edge here, then pull ahead and then pull ahead there to gain some ground. All right, finishing their go. FCG and then Ashton. I'm going to do the only thing I can do, which is I'm going to hot swap, if I can,

to my saw blade. Okay. Hot swapping. And try to cut through the net. The net? Okay. All right, so you go ahead and swap into the buzz saw blade. It spins up. Go ahead and roll an attack for me.

An attack. 14 plus saw blade. Without issue, you begin to carve into it. Go ahead and roll damage to see how much damage you deal to the wire net. Oh, it's so bad. 1d6 plus one, Jesus. Oh, it's a six! Plus one.

Seven points of damage! Sparks shooting parts of the net begin to cut across. You start to do some damage to it. It's not enough to destroy the net, but it's starting to show some damage and some wear and tear. Okay, okay. And then bonus action, I will, without seeing him, I know he's within 30 feet of me,

I will, I will, bloop-ba-da-boop-boop, boop-boop, where is it? Features and traits. Because I am bound to, I don't want to say Grog, but his name is Chetney. Chetney! You always got your favorites. I'm going to give him a bonded blessing, which is just Guidance.

Okay, so you have, well, it's a d6, I think, right? Oh, oh, it is a d6, I think, right? Oh, it is a d6 Guidance, yeah. You can spend when he wants to in the deck. It's like an inspiration. It's like a d6 inspiration dice. Fucking amazing. All right, cool.

That finish your go, CG? Yep. Ashton, you're up. I'm going to pull right behind these motherfuckers right over there. Yep. Okay, so that's... One, two. Are we in a new set zone yet, or? This is the final round

before you start moving into the ravine. Okay. And I can't do anything about fucking them. Do I have room to, well, I'll let you go up before I. Should we sync it up? Should we do it at the same time? Let's fucking sync it up. Let's see if we can just do the.

All right, right as he tries to bash, I'm going to let go of the lightning. So you're going to slam into the vehicle in front? Okay, go ahead and roll an attack. Mm-hmm. Where's the attack for this? There it is. Slam attack, plus six to hit. That's bullshit.

Maybe my lightning bolt will help if I'm also hitting them. Oh wait, one target hits. You're slamming their vehicle, is how it works. Okay, because it says, somewhere here it says plus six to hit or 15 to hit. 15 is the damage, whatever it is to the other vehicle. So 10 to hit. 10 to hit.

Unfortunately, no, you go and slam into it, but you glide off the back armor and it slips off to the side a bit, almost like it's been pushed away like a cow catcher in front of a train. But as he pushes forward, you look back and see the opportunity to release the lightning bolt. Which direction are you shooting it?

I'm going to go straight through to try to hit the driver and the, yeah. You got it. So, leaning forward, that's a dexterity saving throw for everyone, including the vehicle there. That is going to be a 13, a natural one. Oh, and they have penalties on this because of Bane.

Yeah, no, fail, fail, fail. And the vehicles will fail. That's damage to all three of them. Lightning Bolt, go ahead and roll your 86 damage. Yes! Okay, okay, okay, okay. You're doing some damage, here we go. Yeah, hurt him.

You watch as this bolt of purple lightning energy arcs off of her hand, arcs over Ashton, slams into the ground, and then carves up and up into the air before it dissipates into the sky. Crunch. Whoa! Whoa, that's good! So 12, 22,

27. Already above average. 31, 34. Way above average. 37. 37. How do you want to do this? Yes! What does that mean? To what? To a vehicle?

To what? To both of them in the vehicle, just describe to me how you damage everything there. My eyes flash white and a lightning bolt arcs from my hand. Straight, I want it to go straight through this guy's chest, down into his chest, and then out the front of the vehicle here.

You got it, all right. Cool. Woo! Okay, so I need you to roll a d8 for me. Uh-oh. It's very Raiders of the Lost Ark. Oh, I think I know what you're doing. Close your eyes, man! Four. One, two, three, four.

It careens off this way as the vehicle explodes and detonates. Both of them are immediately destroyed as the vehicle comes up and just detonates entirely. In doing so, it blows up in the face of the other vehicle and the driver now has to make a dexterity saving throw for that vehicle. Oh shit!

Does succeed with a 14. Okay, okay, okay. So manages to just maneuver slightly out of it, just right through the flames as it explodes and you see the other skirmishers are like, just emerge from it. I can't believe you survived the crash. Get back on the vehicle.

Does that mean you get any more movement or since you tried to attack? Since I tried to attack, no more movement. Okay. So that finishes your turn. That was awesome. That was pretty fucking awesome. Am I still within range, probably?

You would have the ability to do one more Heat Metal if you'd like to. Yeah, yeah. All right, Heat Metal is over here. So that's another go ahead and roll damage on that one. I don't also have an action, right? Something else I can do? Am I milking it now? If you're booking it the other way,

or you're staying put, you barely see them. I'd say at this point, you're just focusing on the heat metal spell. Okay, that's fine. Is she rolling to hit or for damage? For damage. Just damage. Which is damage.

Fuck off. Four. Four points of damage, all right. Every little bit counts! It's true. Her foot is on fire. It's in those blades. You hear a yelling shriek

in the space nearby. None of you know why, but you feel in your heart somewhere that you're hurting her. It worked for sure. I'm going to turn around and start booking it the other way. The other direction.

So like. So back to where they'll be. Gotcha, back to where the finish line is going to be. Okay, got it, cool. As you all turn out of the final section of the skids and exit the exterior, you can see where the edge, as the road begins to curl upward on this hill, it almost looks like you're about to drive off into nowhere. As you come up over the side,

right as you turn over the crest of the hill, you look down and there are spiked barricades that have been set up to block almost the entire road, except for one little center point there. Oh, amazing. I need all the drivers to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw for me as you're trying to move through,

trying to find the one gap between the barriers and scoot through. Dexterity saving throw. Correct. Dexterity, dexterity. From the car stats or ours? As the drivers, I'd say this be yours. Oh, our dexterity saving throw. 15.

15 just barely succeeds. 16. But it barely succeeds. You guys both manage to squeeze through the three other vehicles. Fail over here. Fail over here. And fail over here!

Wow, they played well. Might not be a third vehicle for us. Good luck. So they all take five points of piercing damage across the road. But they just barrel through it? It hurts. No, as it smashes through them,

they all also lose a little bit of ground. Okay. So at that point, as you smash through the barricades, you see where the road itself begins to be surrounded by these large rocky outcroppings. The natural topography begins to shift into the edge of the ravine and the rocky cliffside. The road seems to turn and head downward off the side.

As you all begin to follow that space, you now see the precarious switchback road that's maybe about 30 feet across before it just tumbles down into the next level and the next level and the next level or into the, what looks to be 150, 200 feet fall to the base of the ravine.

Cool. It looks like it switched back two or three times. Good, so that fear of heights thing is really paying off right now? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's those roads that lead to Dracula's castle and you're like, this is really unsafe. Where in the ravine have you two set up?

So Orym led them to a spot that had a high lookout point with a bit of space up top so that we could see down to when one of them would come and slow on a switchback. As soon as I see one coming, I'll turn to Dusk and say, one-two punch, I'll see you on the bike. Orym's in a sprinter pose, and as soon as one is within what he deems range,

he just takes off and runs 10 feet to the edge and flying 20 feet through the air, aiming at an enemy bike as it comes by. Okay. That's a plan. Okay, okay, got it. So we'll say that'll bring you into the second round of this one. The first round is them getting onto the switchback path,

and then the first slow turn as they come around will be the second round. Okay. So I will have you both roll initiative on this one. Are you sitting with him in the same space? Okay. 12 for me. Seven.

12 for you. I believe you and FCG are going... In a pulse position? Mm-hmm. What a riveting game. Then we have Dusk at the Reader. There's so many. Excitebike. Love Excitebike.

Not even a joke. That's great. All right. Classic. Same pipe. All right. Top of the ravine portion of this race. First things first, that net is grinding ravine portion of this race. First things first, that net is grinding into the middle of this. So the vehicle takes...

Oh shit. I am the vehicle! The vehicle takes 18 points of slashing damage to the inside of it. So, and that gets more and more each turn than it lasts on it. And it eats. It has resistance to bludgeoning, slashing, piercing, and that gets more and more each turn than it lasts on it. And it eats. It has resistance to bludgeoning, slashing, piercing,

and fire, so that should only be nine? No, this actually bypasses that because it's the inside of its mechanism. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Armor does not help it. Would that fire damage have been half that the bike took since its resistance to fire? It would have, yeah.

Okay, I'm going to do that. That's okay. Net equals lower HP. What happened? Fire, Wi-Fi? Oh, the bomb did damage to the car, but it should have been halved. Because the vehicle did half damage to fire. Oh.

Cool. All righty. My turn. Yes. We're going to, okay, let's get crazy, because unless we get that nut off, this is all fucking bumpkiss anyway. Yeah, I know. Oh! No.

That's actually a pretty neat idea. I'm going to use the one, because it's reduced to one move per turn, right? So I'll use the movement speed to advance. Okay. Advance. Yeah. And after I hit the accelerator,

I'm going to stand up and I'm going to use my bonus action to turn into a mofuckin' werewolf. All righty, I love it, I love it. An invisible werewolf. This is a velvet painting. And the angel at the front of a Rolls Royce just howl into the wind and grab the net, and I'm going to try and rip what I can

from the damaged net that FCG is trying to buzzsaw. Let's go. You've got it. I'm holding you! As you howl on the front of this bike, reach over and grab the net. Go ahead and make a strength check to go ahead and move it off. You have advantage because you're in your wolf form,

if I recall. I'm going to just hold my hands up like this. To help with the net. You've got a damage on the back. A pale blue Wonder Woman's jet werewolf on the top. You're surrounded by turtle shells. I'm going to use the... Plus six, yeah, plus six.

That's a six. 22. 22. You reach down and grab the net, and as you pull, you feel the metal stretch and tug, and you hear ting, ting, ting. Yes! And those tearing bones flying off back and just vanishes into the distance behind you.

Oh! Yes. Let's ride. Satan, take the wheel! The robot, the witch, and the werewolf. Let's go. Satan, take the wheel! The robot, the witch, and the werewolf. Let's go. Oh my god. Perfect. I love it. All right, so.

As you're all, as all the vehicles are spinning down, because now we come back, the central game at the top of the round is you guys all head down to the ravine. The road here is a little shaky. The rocks that are across it are skidding as you turn the spin. I need all drivers to go ahead

and make another dexterity saving throw for me. Please, I'm a dexterity saver. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is a perception check to see if you can avoid where the shaky ground is. Oh shit, that seems good. Oh shit. 13.

10. 10. 10. 10, okay. Both of those are not deep fails, but you do manage to hit some of the terrain, which does cause you to lose one ground each. Oh, CG, watch out! Ow! Ow!

All the rest of them fail. Fail, wow, nobody saw this coming. Fail! All the rest of them fail. Fail, wow, nobody saw this coming. Fail! Okay, so everyone ships back. Yeah. So it evens out in the end there for that. But as everyone slows and skids and gets to head down the ravine,

Laudna, you're up with Imogen on deck. Ha, ha! So okay, we're on the edge of the ravine. You guys haven't gone yet, right? Actually, these guys have to go, too. I forgot. So they go ahead and move. Well, actually, it too. I forgot. So they go ahead and move. Well, actually, it's just this guy. So they go ahead and move one.

The guy in the back is going to throw a bomb into the next vehicle, and they have to go ahead and try and make dex saves. Fail. Fail. Fail, okay. We are six, buh-buh. We want to do this all over again! Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.

Come on, dude. I guess that's 12. Ah! Hello. I know. Never a bad pick. Never a bad pick. A friend I knew, you and I.

I love that movie so much. All right. Except for the ending. Anyway, so yeah, the bomb explodes in the middle there. You see them holding on and she's still there. You see the flames burn off the half-elf woman who's standing there still holding her ax angrily. They're going to use a movement to move forward there.

Then that's going to finish their go. Now Laudna with a mission, sorry. Hey, so we're all on a cliff side, like a precarious cliff side situation? Like this side, I would say right now, is just a drop cliff at that point. Got it. Good to know. Got it.

I'm going to take my stick of dynamite. Hey, we got those! Do a little quick light up, little Prestidigitation Flame, and see if I can chuck it in the spokes. I'm going to aim it forward, but I'm going to aim for these guys and see if I can blow them off the edge of the cliff.

Okay. I would love if we could work together right now, but if we did something at the same time, but I don't know, we would have to talk about that. Hold the action type of thing? It's fine. Okay. It's going to be great. Well, so go ahead and roll either a-

Where you could telekinesis it? Is that what you're thinking? It's fine. Go, do your thing. Okay. So you go ahead and you ignite it and chuck it forward. Go ahead and roll a dexterity or strength check just to make sure you can aim it the best you can. Yeah, it'll be a dex check.

All right, go ahead and roll another dex modifier. Don't fuck me, Gil. Oh yeah! Thanks, Gil. 19 total. Okay, so you throw it as hard as you can, precisely at an angle where you gather where the speed we're traveling will cause it to arc,

and then hit right back into here, and you watch as it sticks in the front of its spiky wind grill there, and you see it and the person driving goes like, Shit, shit, and reaches over to try and grab it before it explodes in the middle. I need you to roll your dynamite damage. What is dynamite damage?

Whoa. What do we do? We need to take that through. I'll write it down. Yeah, I have it. I think it's 3d6. What do we do? We need to take that through. Diedediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediedied. I think it's 3D6. 3D6! That's great! Wow.

It's very mediocre. They must make a DC12 dexterity savings draw. I know. They were on four, three, eight, nine, one. Thank god. There we go, and the vehicle succeeds. Oh, seven. Seven points of damage. All right, that is two. Got it.

All right, so it explodes, and you see part of the metal armor in the front is peeled back and arced outward from the detonation in the front. Okay, okay, that's fine. I'm going to use a bonus action to, I'm actually going to burn a second-level spell to get two sorcery points back.

Okay, cool. That's my turn. All right, finishing Laudna's go. Imogen, you're up. I'm going to. Yeah. Hi. Hi. I'm going to... Yeah. Hi. Hi. I'm going to...

cast... Blindness on the driver that just got hit with a stick of dynamite. Oh damn, okay. And that's constitution saving throw? That's con save. Con save. It's all about natural two. Yeah! Wow!

Yes! They're right on the edge. This is real bad for him. This is really bad right here. Do we talk with him? Oh no! Well, they might go straight off the edge, so it might be cool. I use this to mark it.

We'll walk away. I'm in it. Come on. We'll walk away. Okay. And then, and then, I'm going to use my bonus action to try to push him. The driver? Yeah!

Okay, got it. Internal debate. I'm going to give them advantage on the save because they are in a seated position in the middle of the vehicle. Yeah, that makes sense. But at least all I want to do is jostle them enough that it makes them wiggle on the handles, you know what I mean?

Natural 20. But we'll say it does wiggle a little bit. Which is good. Which is fine. You feel good about it. All right, cool. Finishing your go. I messed him up. It's now A's turn.

Okay, they're going to go ahead and move forward. Man, they're just not go ahead and move forward. Man, they're just not giving any fucks. They do move into the radius. Yep. So they do take damage. They go ahead and take a wisdom save. 14. 14, that's a natural 15 for the driver. So it's half.

And five for the person in the back. Okay. So go ahead and roll damage. Terrible damage. No, you just rolled it over again. What was it? It was an eight. Okay, great. It was an eight.

So it's 11 points of damage, but halved for one of them. Mm-hmm. Halved for the driver, you said? So five. Correct. And then 11 for the fellow in back. The half-elf lady with the massive ax burns through the shell, slams under the side as they pull through.

They have to make wisdom saving throws or they're frightened. Because of? Because I hit them. With? Dynamite? It's not... Technically, the rules say, on each of my turns, if I hit a creature,

I can force it to make a wisdom saving throw. Hit a creature with an attack or hit a creature? It just says if I hit a creature. Sure, I'll look. I'll look. Okay. Because this is your shroud, right? Mm-hmm, my Form of Dread. Your Form of Dread, yeah.

Okay, you know what? Yeah, that makes sense. If a terrifying ghost throws dynamite at you, I'd be pretty scared. No, it's valid, I checked it out. It's literally Scooby-Doo, right? It's horror dynamite. Yeah, it is. You can see through it.

It's horror dynamite, and then they went blind from Horror Dynamite. Natural one on the driver who went blind from the Horror Dynamite. That person is having a bad day. Really got to get that third R in there, otherwise it's just Horror Dynamite. That is exactly what I have to do.

Yeah, they have to do it. Horror Dynamite is one of my favorite last names. That's pretty great. Stick with distinction, Horror Dynamite. So move in. She's going to take a giant swing with the greataxe towards you. Towards me? Yes.

That's going to be a 20 to hit. Oh. Yeah. All right. You take... 18 points of slashing damage. Oh! Carving into you. Ooh, I'll take care of that.

You cannot see her. Because she's in the back of the vehicle and you are in the front. Damn it. So hot, I'm done! When you bond? I am binded to her. You did bind. You are binded, you can...

Let me read what that even means. No, no, I'll say the Sympathetic Binding allows you to use abilities that are part of the Sympathetic Binding, but specifically the ability to take half the damage, you have to see what's happening. Sure, sure, sure, that's fine. Because you cannot see it.

That's the downside of being welded to the front of a fucking car. Yep, yep, yep, there's some disadvantages, sure. He's going to go ahead and push through and Action Surge. Oh no. That's going to be a natural 20. Oh no!

Finally some good fucking rolls here. You just got critted on. You got critted. Uh-oh. You got critted! You got critted! Can I Silvery Barbs that? Can I Silvery Barbs this? Is it a melee? If you want to. You magically distract triggering the target

and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement for another. The triggering roll must re-roll the d20 and use the lower roll. Sure, okay, yeah. So I see her get hit, and then I'm going to try and throw up just through my... Yeah, I'm just going to throw up in her face.

Look at that. Yes, I love it. I love a new signature move. It's a gesture from the bees, you know? It's a couple bees. It's a couple bees. A natural 19, but it's not a crit. It's not a crit. It's not a crit.

Then as part of Silvery Barbs, because that was my reaction. That was my reaction, correct. I get to give encouragement to another creature. Where are we? Who's next? Who's next? You don't know. I'm just going to give it to Chetney

because he's in front of me. Okay. You take another 17 points of slashing damage. Okay. Are you okay? You get, meh. You get advantage on the next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw you make. Okay. That's amazing.

What did you just say? 18 again? 17. 17? All right, and then. Oh no. It's not this much, right? Ooh, this is fine, this is fine. I'm just going to go ahead and move forward one more right beside you guys.

Mm-hmm. This here? These are the Paragon's Call people. Correct. Yeah. Forward one more, right beside you guys. Just here. These are the Paragons called people. Correct. Yeah. Then on that's, and then the bees, it's right there. They're going to come. That would be a double move to get out of that.

So that would be two moves to get out of that. To get out of what? The bees. I mean, the turtles. The turtles, well, they're not close enough right here for them to get through the turtles. The turtles are this radius here, but this person is blind and frightened, so they're trying to move as far away

from Laudna as possible. They're going to try and move one, two. Off the edge. And here, I'll say, because you have a blind, go ahead and roll a d20 for me with disadvantage. This is their perception, and they have only a plus one to it, so. With disadvantage? Five.

Five. So they begin to careen off the side a little bit, and it begins to off the edge. If they, they're going to, unless they can shake the blindness next turn, they're going to go off the cliff. So they're in a bad place. Which one is yours?

The goblin in the back is extremely frightened, takes the satchel that they have, and just goes ahead and you watch as they take another stick of, or another bomb they have, and they throw it back into the satchel and chuck it outward, angrily this direction. Oh. Oh. God fucking damn it.

Uh-oh. Are they also at a, are they de-forward or no? No, but they are frightened, so they have disadvantage on the attack roll because of Laudna. That still puts them at a 17. So the satchel comes out in front

and explodes immediately. It doesn't explode close enough to hurt anybody, but it leaves a large crater in the ground. We'll say about... We'll put it about here. It's fun. This is a good game, guys. This is so cute. Good game.

I love it. All righty. So finishing up there, that brings us to FCG and Orym. FCG and Orym. Okay. That's a cute one. Oh god. That's a cute one.

Boy, oh boy. I don't want to use, as an action, shit. Oh. What's a shit? Okay, I'll cast as a bonus action. Wait, Spiritual Weapon Concentration? No. No, I can do it, right? Spiritual Weapon is not Concentration. Wait, spiritual weapon concentration? No. I can do it, right? Spiritual weapon is not concentration.

Correct. It's just a bonus action. Okay. I'm only doing this because it's funny. Best reason to do that. I can't wait for it. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to do a spiritual weapon at the people who just did all that shit to us.

And the spiritual weapon's going to take the form of a banana peel. Yes! Sure, I don't have a mini for that. Sure, sure, sure. Oh dear. Yeah, I'll just try to hit the front guy. I mean, I'd like to hit the wheel.

Want to hit the wheel? Yeah. Okay, go ahead and roll for an attack on the wheel. Okay. Come on. Let's see how this goes. wheel? Yeah. Okay, go ahead and roll for an attack on the wheel. Okay. Oh my. Let's see how this goes. Ooh, five. Wait, wait, what am I doing? Spiritual Weapon is plus six to hit or something? I mean, it's 11 or something.

11, it goes, unfortunately, it's an armored front of the wheel and it streaks off the front. The banana peel just slips underneath. Damn! No major issue, but good try, good try. Good, I liked it. All right, I still have an action.

Spiritual Weapon also. Boom. As they drive past. It stays in place. No, it can only move. Through the air. It can only move 20 feet. Oh no! I didn't know that!

Lesson learned. I thought it just stayed with me. Oh, cleric learning. You used that all the time. Yeah, but we were never moving. Yeah, there was never a motorcycle race happening at the time. But you know, the more you learn.

Yep, I learned. All right, well, it was still funny. That was great. I have an action still. With the action, can I hot swap again? Or is that just too much swapping? It has a lot of swapping with all that stuff going on, I'll say.

Probably, and I'm like this and stuff. You're like, man! I don't really have any other, I have a buzzsaw, but I'm not close enough to do anything with it, so. Then you can't heal Laudna? You can do a cantrip, if you want to. A cantrip, oh, that I can do. cantrip if you want to. A cantrip.

Oh, that I can do. That's two spells in turn, is that okay? As long as one's a cantrip, it's okay. Okay, well then I'll shoot a Sacred Flame. At? At the guy in the back of the truck next to us. Actually, no. Okay, okay, you got it. As a note, because it was the end of that guy's turn,

he was blind on that turn, he does make a save, right, to, okay, you got it. As a note, because it was the end of that guy's turn, he was blind on that turn, he does make a save, right? To try and resist it. Okay. The natural eight plus two, that's a 10. So he remains blind. We'll see how the next round goes. Oh!

Oh man, okay. All right. Sacred Flame, dexterity 14 save to the fellow in back of Crawler. Of the, over here? Yeah. You got it. That is going to be a 14 exactly. So that saves?

That saves, yeah. So no damage. If your DC is 14, then yes. Yes. Great. No damage. Good looking out, though. All right, Orym, your turn. They're now slowly cruising around the hairpin turn, right where both of you guys are situated.

So Orym's going to go, and you're right after Ashton. So you guys are hitting up the rear. And which of these bikes would be, from our vantage point, since this is all theater of the mind, is it this one or that one that is coming closest? To where you're perched. To where you guys are perched?

This one's coming probably closest to where you are, but this one's also about to careen off the edge. It's getting real close. This one's the safest situated, and this one's in the middle. So where you guys are, but this one's also about to careen off the edge. It's getting real close. This one's the safest situated, and this one's in the middle. So where you guys are, actually, this one would be the closest to the outside turn of the hairpin, so actually this one

would be closest to you guys. Oh, so yeah, so that. All right, and then the one that's clearly fucking with us. Those two are baned as well. These two? Mm-hmm. That's a mess. All right, so where last we left off,

Orym sprinted 10 feet, and with my boots and the jump rolls, 20 feet through the air, right? Shield is up and he's shrinking up behind it, sword is sheathed, and this circle is just going aiming at the driver's head. And when I get within one foot, all through the air, air is starting to swirl around Orym, and when he closes in and gets a foot away,

all that air goes out behind him with a gust cantrip, and I slam the shield with a push from that, trying to battle ram this guy off the fucking bike. Got it. Okay. This is going to be an acrobatics check to try and pull off the aim of this whole circumstance. It's a fucking awesome move. Let's see if we can pull it off.

18. 18 will do it. Oh! Yes! Woo! Shield up in front, as you begin to arc down, where you just barely look past the top of the shield, and you see the driver is not even paying attention.

He's taking the turn and spinning it, big gritted teeth before they glance up at you, eyes wide before slamming into them. Go ahead and roll a slam attack. I'm on fun. I love it! That is a 10. This is just my...

What would be your dexterity modifier added to it? Dex of 15. 15 just hits. Okay. And this is shield damage or? No, this is a shove. Oh, it's a shove. This would be your athletics versus his athletics

to try and shove him off the vehicle. Okay. Minus a d4. Minus a d4. Well, it's an ability check. It's saving throws and attacks, isn't it? Yeah. Minus a d4. Minus a d4. Well, it's an ability check, so it's saving throws and attacks, isn't it? Yeah. Shit. So I'm doing a new acrobatics?

This is athletics. New athletics, all right. Oh, fuck. They threw a whole grenade. Six. Six, no, seven. So it impacts somebody, manages to resist it. So you don't shove him off the side,

but you are on the vehicle, which is going to weigh it down a little bit and prevent him from doing the extra rounds. Action surge, I'm going to hack at his ankles. Yeah! Go for it! You are now in the front of this vehicle. And this will do a superiority die. Hold on.

To do a trip attack, to add to the total damage of the roll. So that is a 18 to hit. 18 hits. And it's a trip attack, so he has to do a 16 strength save. That's a 15. He just misses. So he goes down.

I don't know if he falls flat on the bike or if he's gone. He falls flat on the bike. If you were to next round, like if he gets back up, he'll be fine. But essentially, if you're able to trip him and then slam again. Okay. Because you have two attacks, right? So I have another swing at him, but I haven't done.

Here's the thing, a slam attack is one of your attacks. You have two attacks. Okay, so? So you have action surge. You have four attacks, technically. Oh, I was considering. Oh, so you're not even using, oh, I thought that whole smash with the shield was my thing. No, that was your move and jump,

and then a slam is in place of an attack. Swing away. So basically, you slam him, and attack and trip him, he's knocked down. If you want to try and slam him again with your action surge, then you would have advantage on the athletics check. So I'm using my action surge before my action?

Is that what we're saying here? You slammed and then attacked Trippin, and then action surge to try and slam after. So you suddenly have two attacks. All right, so. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's Lulululi. Lulululi, we'll get there.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So that is a d6. Should we put a disclaimer on this? A seven. The actions performed by these drivers are professional. 11 points of damage with the slash into his leg taking him down. He falls down in the middle of the seating arrangement

in the center of the crawler, just trying to start getting back up. I lift my shield up like this and swing the shield and catch him under the chin, and that's how I'm going to try to knock him the fuck out. Oh hell yes. Come on. Roll with advantage, because he is knocked down. 20. 20, he is knocked down. 20.

20, he rolled a 10. Nine plus one. You wham, like full-on Captain America, uppercut him with the shield, and he goes flying out of the vehicle. Yeah! Allowing you to then take the space of the cockpit. Oh shit. Though you are just standing in it with your shield and weapon out at the moment, then take the space of the cockpit. Oh shit!

Though you are just standing in it with your shield and weapon out at the moment, staring at the guy in the back as the vehicle is turning the corner. So you got to choose to either take control soon. I'm driving. Well, I turn my head over and look at the person on the back and just say, sup.

I turn and I take control and start to drive. You see this wily-looking gnome who has the dark shadows in the corner of the face and just glances over at you with a wide look of surprise. That's the one glance you get as you get back into grabbing the driver's seat. I'm trusting the dusk is going to follow

and take care of rider number two. Dots up. So this... Goddamn. This is the car that you now have access to. All righty, finishing your go, that brings us to Ashton and then Dusk on deck. All right. What does it mean?

That thing is coming up fast, isn't it? Yes, it is. Okay, first thing I'm going to do is... You're going to try and move around it or attempt to just drive through. We'll see. First thing I'm going to do is. You're going to try and move around it or attempt to just drive through. We'll see. First thing I'm going to do is I'm going to rage again. And fuck me. Oh, is it the same one?

Same fucking one. Yeah, it's where the explosion took out a chunk of the ground in the middle of the hairpin turn. You can either try and drive through it or you can try and maneuver around it and take the extra movement. I'm not the front wheel. Let's go through that fucking thing.

Whoa! Here's an interesting thing. Can I apply my density well to those motherfuckers who are currently, which means I cannot, normally I cannot be knocked prone, pushed, pulled, or forced to move, and when I hit with a melee attack, technically, I can burn a chaos burst melee to do additional damage,

and if the target doesn't succeed a strength saving throw, they get knocked prone. Which would be something to a bike, I don't know. To hit the bike, you mean? If I use, can I use Density Well to, as part of my slam? I'll allow it, sure. See if I can really fuck them up.

Sure. I'm going to use my two movements to turn hard to the right. To the right? And I'm going to fuck them up on my turn hard to the right. To the right? And I'm going to fuck them up on my way in. Okay, so you're moving. I'm moving like that, but at the same time, I am getting real heavy. Right. Awesome.

Okay. So I'm trying to clip them. Let's go make a slam attack with the vehicle. Slam attack, where the slam attack? Can I also, if I make this, take advantage on this? Reckless? Reckless. Is that me or is that the bike? It's not a weapon, unfortunately.

It's just the bike. Come on, motherfucker. That's 15 to hit. 15 against that one. Which AC, that does not hit, unfortunately. Sorry. It's tough. That one has tougher armor than the others.

That one's been upgraded. But good try, good try. I burn a Chaos Burst on that, too. You do, but you manage to use the rest of your movement to maneuver so you're not actually going through the pothole, which is good. All right, finishing your go. Dusk, you're up.

You watch as you roll. Oh, may I pull out Mister at the finish line out there? Sure, yeah, that'll make it. Okay. Just waiting at the finish line with Mister. Just to throw some flaming shit in people's faces. Okay. Just waiting at the finish line with Mister. Just to throw some flaming shit in people's faces. We'll see what happens.

Ready and willing. Okay. I've just seen Orym take a running leap and fall on Captain America. So I take a running leap, stamp my boots, and I leap off onto the vehicle. and I leap off onto the vehicle, and it's like- Which vehicle are you going for?

That one, that one. All right. Oh, this one here? No, the one that Orym's on. Okay, you got it. So you go ahead and leap off. Going to land right in front of the guy in the back. Yes. No!

No! That's not quite enough. Not quite enough. That's fine. Oh. Yeah. All right. That's fine. Oh. Yeah. All right. So. Then I Eldritch Blast him right in the face.

Ooh! Dang, okay. Boof! Boof! Well, as part of the flight scenario to try and capture there, I will say another acrobatics check, if you don't mind making it for me, as it is trying to catch a moving vehicle. Let's go.

Come on, Dusk. Come on, Dusk. You're fine. No! No! No. Seven. Seven. Lucky number seven. So as you fly forward and begin to go out for the vehicle,

your feet, you miscalculated the arc you were going for and your leg hits the front of the metal and you just go rotating and spinning in the air. Like the guy who hits the propeller, the falling from the Titanic. You start cartwheeling over the front of the vehicle. I'll give you one opportunity to try and grab Dusk's arm if you wanted to make a dexterity saving throw.

Yeah. For sure. Come on. Just a dex save? Mm-hmm. Natural 20. Oh! Yeah! Show it! What are you doing?

You're a little gropey arm. So you, after spinning, get grabbed in the arm, and you're fluttering back, holding onto it, and your arm's like, and in the middle of this crazy gnar, like gnome, who's like, and is pulling at a blade. Oh no! So Dusk. Thank god yesterday was leg day!

But Dusk, it's still your turn. So you're now being held. You're sort of on the vehicle, but not being held by him, but you still have your action to go and your bonus action. What do you want to do? I Elvis Blast that guy in the face. You got it. All right, so roll two attacks.

Okay. That minion's doing the limbo. Oh man. Oh, she's going. A 16, er... 16. Oh my god. Oh.

Whoa. 24 and a 12. Okay, 24 hits. You can go ahead and roll damage on that one. Okay. This is the angle of which you are holding Dusk's arm. Exactly. The ground is whipping back.

It was prophecy. It's perfect. So 13. 13 points of damage from that one. And I use a Repelling Blast. So he gets blasted 10 feet away from me. Oops. I'll give him one opportunity for a dexterity saving throw

to try to hold onto the back of the vehicle, like you're being held. Minus a d4 because of Vane. I'll say needs a 12. They're going. They're going. Dusk is going. We're going to roll a stop in front here, so. No, come on, man.

Eight minus four, that's a four. Yeah! Poof! Is anybody left with Vane? Are they all gone? You're clear. You're dropping down. Yeah, and with that, using Orym's.

Are them who are about to create it. Get into the backseat there. Damn. Wow. Wow. That's nuts. Wow. Yes! All right. Y'all are badass.

Top of the next round, as you all come down the switchback, you go down the second one, cruising around the backside, and now you watch, as you come around the the switchback. You go down the second one, cruising around the backside, and now you watch as you come around the second hairpin turn, everyone carefully spinning. These guys over here.

So the driver has to make another perception check with disadvantage to see if he can remember the layout of the road before the next hairpin turn. So the first roll. Still bang. It's a three. This one doesn't bank. That's just a skill turn.

Sorry, I'm not very brave. Three, yeah, no. Whoa! That vehicle just goes. Yeah! Is it just us now? One action. The Paragon's Call is the last one.

One big action. You guys turn the next hairpin turn and all you hear in the distance is. Oh! We get a Wilhelm before he goes. We get a fucking Wilhelm. What? That's good.

Oh my goodness. Terrible Wilhelm, I'm well aware. That was amazing Goofy. Thank you. Goofy was in my head. Ah! As the final bit of the ravine, the second hairpin comes around,

it curves in towards the cliff into an interior of a dark, lightless cave. This next stage all of a sudden throws the entire road into darkness. Anybody who doesn't have darkvision, you need to find a way to light the way. Oh shit. Because right now you are now,

aside from a little bit of reflective light that hits the inside of this cave, you need to find a way to light the way. Oh shit. Because right now, you are now, aside from a little bit of reflective light that hits the inside of this cave, you have very limited vision, and already you can see all matter of rock columns and slides, it's cruising by. We'll pick up from there at the end of our break. Oh! Oh, it's so good! We're in the ravine section now.

We're now about two hours in, so we'll come back for the next two legs of this race. This is so fun! See you guys here in just a second. Why, hello there. This is Critical Role's resident art dad, also known as Liam O'Brien. We are continuously

amazed at the artwork this community creates. That's why each Thursday at 8am Pacific, we share a curated gallery of submitted fan art over on critroll.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, visit critroll.com slash submit. And thank you to all of the incredible artists

who share their talents with us week after week. And welcome back. So to pick up where we left off, let's go ahead and get some proper music here and the interior of the Ravine Caverns as you then go darting on your crawler back into the dark subterranean space of this cavern. Those of you who cannot see in the dark

are having a rough time, especially if you're a driver. But first things first. Bats start swarming suddenly out of the inside of the cave. Past everyone, you have to guard yourself in the process. If everyone can make wisdom saving throws who are driving. Wisdom? Who are driving? Wow.

Do I have to make one since I rolled a natural one? I'll say yes, because you are a part of the vehicle. Oh wow, I rolled two natural ones! Oh no. 17. 17. You push past the bats. Bats, you do bats. Yeah.

Get a snack on the way. Also 17. Also 17. So you're just getting smacked by them, but you're shaking it off. It's like a face massage. The opponents, okay, just there. Natural one on their point, too. by them, but you're shaking it off. It's like a face massage. The opponents, okay, just there. Natural one on their point, too. So their driver gets smacked in the face by bats,

as do you. You lose one ground as part of the process, and they end up descending back to where that is. Oh, that's great. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh no, that's not great. All right, so, with that point, now in the middle of the darkness, top of the round, Chetney, you're up.

Amazing! Back on throttle, we're going to use the movement to move diagonally in front of them to the right. All righty. Oh god. Oh god, that's a double god. I'm just wrecking it all right now, there we go. And then we're going to slam on the fucking brakes. Really?

Yeah! You and me, guys! Brakes that go right by us. That's right. Brakes that go right by. So I'll say for that, make it considered a slam attack, but you'll have advantage on this.

Ooh, I like it. Question. Are the turtles glowing? I was wondering about that, too, because I thought it was a turtle. It doesn't say that they glow, it just says they're spirits. Yeah, so we'll say there are faint, faint green lights, but they're not casting light on things around them.

You can just see where they are. It's a 20 to hit. That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll slam damage. Slam damage! Slam damage! Roll for slam damage! Slam damage! Slam damage! Roll your slam damage. Slam damage. Slam damage. Slam damage. Slam damage! Roll for slamage! Slam damage! Roll your slam damage. Slam damage. Slam damage.

Slam damage. It really is. That's four. Is 14 bludgeoning damage. 14 bludgeoning damage. Slam into the vehicle. Sparks start shining off into space as the wheels grinding underneath the metallic back of your car

and does cause them to lose ground and get pushed back a bit. Amazing, with our bonus action, double invisible wolf birds up in the air, and we accelerate forward. Yes! Woo! To there. Great. Hell yeah. Incredible.

End of turn. All right, that finishes your go. So that brings us to Laudna with Imogen on deck. All right, Laudna is going to cast Blur on herself. Blur. Because I'm unhealthy. Blur. And then I'm going to...

Just a Blur. Mark her there. Might as well quicken spell again. Actually, you know what? No. You have darkvision, right? I do have darkvision. If anybody should, I think it would be you. That's it. I'll hold for now.

Okay. I'm not going to burn my slots just yet. You got it. All right, that finishes your go. Imogen, you're up. Right. Do you have darkvision? I do not. You have no idea what's happening around you

beyond just the bats that are. So I am going to trust in FCG since I've seen him use his face as lights before, and I'm going to hold my action until I can see. Until you can see? Okay, what are you holding? I'm going to hold... On for dear life.

Yeah, right. You don't have a potion you can take as a bonus action, do you? Maybe, hold on. I'm going to hold Dissonant Whispers. Okay. Hold them dissonant whispers.

All right. Damn. Can I also quickly do a bonus action and re-up my Form of Dread? Yeah, if you can use it again, go for it. Form of Dread. Boom, go ahead and roll for your temporary hit points. Yes, please.

Yes, it hit me. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. With that, they're going to move one, two, three up into that space there, which will get them. Oh shit. Kind of squishing. Goddamn it. Yeah, it's fine, but I can't do it now because I saved everything else.

Okay. They do both move into the radius, so go ahead and roll your damage. Oh, awesome. Great, come on. That is a success. That's two. Oh, awesome. Great. Come on. 3d8. That is a success. That's two. Driver. Eight.

16. Fuck yeah! So he's a DC 14 wisdom, I think. 14 does make it, so they both make the save. So it's half damage for what was it called? 16 points, so it's eight. 18. She got it. That's good, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All righty, and as they move up, the half-upholstered woman, giant graydox in hand is going to go ahead and... Yeah, is going to go ahead and giant swing over towards you, Laudna, just trying to finish this job on you. Disadvantage, because I got a blur now.

That's true, yeah. 16 and a natural one. Ooh! That is a miss. Oh my god. It moves towards you, and your form just phases out, and the blade just swings wide, and you hear it go, shit! That's going to finish their go.

Actually, no, as a bonus action, they're going to go ahead and... I'm just going to yell. Just going to. All right, that brings us to FCG with Orym on deck. For my action, I will cast Light and turn on my eyes as two headlamps at the front of the vehicle.

All of a sudden, the space around you begins to light with a projection forward to reveal the path in front of you. As it does, you now see that there are bones scattered all over the floor here that you're driving over and breaking. Why? Why are there bones?

From races or from pirates? So that's your action? That's my action. Bonus action. Bucket of bones. Bonus action. I can't see her, but I am connected to her. So I will use my Sympathetic Bond

and I will give Ardent Armor to Laudna. One plus my Wisdom modifier. One plus a, you get four points, four temporary hit points. All right. I can, okay, yeah, because that's from two separate things, right? No, temporary hit points do not stack.

Oh no! Well, I'm going to give it to Chet. I don't know that. Yeah, he doesn't know. Where'd you get those? From my Form of Dread, I re-upped it. What's going on back there? All right, that finishes FCG's go. Orym, you're up.

Oh wait, I was holding my, sorry, I was holding my spell until I could see. So I'm going to Dissonant Whisper. It's, Dissonant whispers, the driver of the Paragon's car. You got it. Dissonant whispers. That is a wisdom save, you said?

Yes. That's a 12 save, you said? Yes. That's a 12. So he hears in his head, You'll never make it out of this race. And it's supposed to rack him with pain. And he's going to take 3d6 psychic damage. Go ahead and roll that dice. Nyeh-meh-neeh-meh-neeh.

Bing-a-bong. Seven plus, no, I'm going to do this math. 12. 12 points of psychic damage, and he must immediately use his reaction to move as far away from me as speed allows. His next action or immediately? Immediately use his reaction. His reaction, okay.

To get away from me. So the one movement away from you, which will be right there. Sandwich him in there. Yes. All righty. So finishing that hell turn there, that now brings us to Orym with Ashton on deck.

Okay, changing up a little bit, but the lights come on, I see that, I see the enemy, I see the Paragon's Call bike, so I'm going to use movement and acceleration to get right up next to them. Ooh, nice. Yeah, and then Orym lifts his shield and splays it this way, and folded in his hand

between the shield and his hand is that blue rose. I go. And electricity goes. Hell yeah. And shoots into the driver. All righty. That is DC constitution save of 15. Natural three.

So it's 3d10. Ooh. Damn. Here's hoping, here's hoping. What is it? Nine, four, and one. So 14 points of lightning damage in its place. How do you want to do this? Oh!

Yes! I'm going to do it as I come up from the back and I'm going to blow these flower petals, which turn into electricity and crack a lot and smash them off the bike, sending him flying into the back of the bike that Laudna's on and spears him on the back and he just hangs there.

Oh no. Oh yes! Oh, I'm mad. That's going to affect our balance. It will affect your balance. There you go. Driver? Driver. Hell yeah.

Okay, that finish your go? Mm-hmm. All righty. Bringing it up to Ashton with Dusk on Deck. Dusk on Deck. If I burn a Density Well and just slam the brakes once, can I become a big bloody wall for that thing behind me

for a brief moment before accelerating again? Yeah, you can basically use your movement to move back to brake, and then you use your action to slam attack, which will give you advantage because you're breaking in front. Can I pour density well into that and get a little extra damage?

Yeah, sure. All right, let's, and I'll, I can't do that thing because the Scrimmage Caller cannot take advantage that way. Come on, come on, come on. Natural 20. Dang! All right, so go ahead and roll the slam damage

and give it double the dice. Slam plus, okay, so go ahead and roll the slam damage and give it double the dice. Slam plus. Slam damage. Roll that slamage. It's 2d10 plus... It's 2d10 plus 1d6. Roll that slamage. Why do I not remember this is all filmed and going on the internet?

It's fine. It's there. There's no sense of shame left in me. They replaced him. How do you want to do this? 23 points of damage. 23 points of damage, nice. All right, to that. There. Is that to the Skirmish Crawler or to the Dunedin?

Skirmish Crawler. That's the last Skirmish Crawler. That... How do you want to do this? Oh! This is the actual Skirmish Crawler, not the people. You've done enough damage to the vehicle that the vehicle is now destroyed.

I am just gritting my teeth, and I concentrate and I squeeze, and the black and white gray tones just briefly pulse out of me onto the car, the black and white gray tones briefly pulse out of me onto the car, which suddenly stops. Like a piece of lead. It's a full speed to stationary rock. Slams into it, and you see the vehicle crumple up.

The gravity is so intense that there's minimal damage to your vehicle, but what you do see is splintered shards of shrapnel as the crawler is suddenly burst into hundreds of pieces from the momentum that it was carrying, smashing into what was essentially a boulder of gravity. The driver and the passenger are also scattered in the impact of being shredded by the shrapnel

of the vehicle around them. You just watch this brief little squib glimmer of wet in the air before the darkness takes them and you don't even see where they are. Then I let go and I book it again. I'm also now sitting in your lap because I would have just flung fucking forward on that. You actually would have been in the Gravity Well anyway.

True, actually, because she would have been in the Gravity Well. Yeah, she would have been in the Gravity Well. If you wanted to allow it, I'll allow it. But you are back to there. I'm going to say move forward once. There you are. Okay, cool. It's not an enemy, it's any creature.

Should we just finish the race so we can find out which one of us wins? We have to finish it. We have to deliver that. So Dusk, is there anything you want to do? I mean, I guess I would like to hold. Can I hold? I'm at the end of the round, but can I hold? Yeah.

Until a threat becomes apparent? Yeah. Okay, great. That's a good idea. Which is perfect, because at the end of the round is when you hear the . SAM and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA Fuckin' hell! And as you watch,

as you're careening around areas here, I do need the drivers to all make dexterity saving throws as you're now speeding through the caverns and immediately beginning to see big rock pillars and stalagmites in the way and having to turn briefly out of the way. Eight. Eight? Mm-mm. Come on, hold the drive.

Do I get advantage because of Barbarian? No, it's good. Pause. Nine. Ooh. I dex save that. I can save the energy. You see it, yeah. Okay. Do I get advantage because of Barbarian? I can save the currency. Okay. His balls are so long. Oh, thank god.

19. 19, okay, that's a success. Nine. Nine. So both of your vehicles, not you, but the vehicles take 10 points of bludgeoning damage. Which is half. Half, you take, actually, because you're in the vehicles take 10 points of bludgeoning damage. Which is half. Half, you take, actually, because you're in the front of the vehicle,

you take 10 as well. Sure. Is this half for you because you're part of the vehicle and it takes half damage? Right as you turn that corner, is when, beyond just the headlights that FCG has out in front of you, that's showing the rest of you what's around the space. Hurry!

You turn the corner and in a split second, you see other light sources, like these green light sources, a number of them. Right as your headlights come across, you see that they're all from one creature. What? As a massive beast leaps out in front from the side of the cavern. It's the light side! Is he lighting up? Is he pulsing? beast leaps out in front from the side of the cavern.

He's inside it! Is he lighting up? Is he pulsing? He is pulsing, yes. It's pulsing. I love him! I mean, so am I. I know he's going to be mean, but I love him. I love him, too. Can you spin him around so we can see him now?

Spin him right around. Oh! Can you keep sending him in that direction? He's thinking. Look at that cute little weedy RBB. So. I don't know if you can. Look at you, little weedy-eyed baby. So. You can leave them, too, or we're really bogged here. Let's tame him and make him our friend.

Yeah. I want to ride him. I want to ride him, too. He's going to leave off and tame him. If I could have Ashton and FCG, go ahead and make intelligence checks for me. Uh-oh. That always goes well. Oh, yeah.

Six or nine. That's a nine. 15. 15. You know what this creature is. You've only heard about them, though you've not seen them, but you've heard many stories.

They are dangerous denizens of the Hellcatch Valley known as the Kagaronks. Kagaronks. They are burrowing subterranean creatures that feast on flesh and bone. And normally they're exterminated when they come this close to any of the cities, but this one apparently has either moved in here recently

or has gone under the radar, but it is hungry and it is currently focused on your troop. Uh-oh. But that brings us back to the top of the initiative order, Chetney, you're up. Is it important that they win instead of us? Who's they? The fucking red moon card. You guys have the token, right?

You guys are the ones that are trying to impress Paranaut's Call. No, I think either of us. Yeah, no, it's any of us. Okay. It's our group. Okay. Do you want to trade Zs? Huh. Do you want to trade Zs? Huh?

Do you want to trade Zs? I'm down to trade Zs if you want to fuck some shit up. I'll stand up and go back to Laudna and go, Laudna, drive. Okay. Oh shit, so you're switching? Yeah, we're switching. Okay.

That is awesome. I'm down if you want to. What's happening? If that's my movement, I will hold my attacks if this, what is it called again? Kaggoroth. Kaggoroth. Kaggoroth's going to fuck us up. So I'll hold my attacks if it comes.

Kaggoroth. If it comes within melee range. Just like, and I'll actually take the wood chisel and draw it across my forearm and just. All right, and as that happens, a second light source appears in the vicinity as you now see this flame erupt across the wood chisel in the middle of the woven form of Chetney.

Good form. Are we speeding and this thing is running alongside or has it halted us? Oh, I know it's running alongside you guys. You can see the multiple legs. And while the form here doesn't see it, elements of it look like a scaled leopard with multiple legs, and you notice that

it's moving a lot quicker than you expected. You don't know if it'll be able to keep up with you based on the pace that you keep, but at the very least, it's fast. Okay. But finishing Chetney's go, as you prepped on that, that now brings us to Laudna. All right.

I'm going to advance. All right. Click. Then can I advance diagonally and try and cut him off and set up Chet? You can, yeah. Oh god. That brings you within a minute. a million, doesn't it? It does.

And then that's, I can't do anything else, right? That was my move, unless I'm- You can do a bonus action to accelerate, but I'll take my two swipes. I was going to tell you, take your two swipes and then you can accelerate. Yay! Because you held your action?

Yeah. Sick. That's just a glitch in the matrix. Is it? Is that a glitch in the matrix? The guy running up to attack us right now? Oh yeah, no, that's the guy that died. Hey! Get back here! Oh, is that still up there?

This is still up there, okay. That's 19 to hit? 19 hits. Nice. Okay, okay. One. 20 to hit. Both hit.

Go ahead and roll damage. Three strikes. Oh, because I have advantage on these strikes in my wolf form, do I also get to use sneak attack? It's a dark attack. On one of them? You have advantage on because of what? Because it's a strength check in my wolf form.

Well, you don't get to do attacks, you get to do strength checks. Eh, let me roll. Okay, sorry. That's all right. So that's 18 to hit on the first one. That still hits. Okay, same one.

17. 17 hits as well. Yay, cool! So no sneak attack. No sneak attack right now, just because people are, he's not fully pincered between the vehicle. That makes sense. 12 and 14, for a total of 26, plus four points of Crimson Rite, 28.

No, 26? 26, it's 30. 30, thank you. Three points of damage, one round. Nice. As you hack through it with your claw and your wood chisel, you strike it both in the face and it's running. Its eyes, with the really bright green lights at the front of it, suddenly go dark

as it winces backward. They open up again and. With the speed that you're traveling, the force of its scream, still you feel the spittle hit you and you're like, that's scary and impressive. You're down for it. All righty. Accelerate, accelerate.

Do I still have one more? Am I able to still accelerate? You're moving. You want to, yeah. You got one more. I will accelerate now that Chet has done his thing. Okay, I'll get you one more up this way. Yep. You got it. Okay, now it comes to the Kegraux turn.

It is furious, and it's going to go ahead and close it. Now it's in the circle. Now it's in the circle, so make a wisdom save against your snare. That's a two, it fails, full damage from you, first cut grass. Okay. Seven. Come on. 10.

15. Yay. Nice, nice. 15 points of damage to it, hell yeah. Okay, it's a comes forward, and it is going to tear into you. So it's going to make... I'm invisible. That's a 20 to it.

Is that with disadvantage? What was it? Wolfman's invisible. Oh, no, but you attacked him, which means you lost your invisibility. Oh shit, that's right! It's all in the details. He definitely hits.

Okay, the second attack is a 24 to hit. Oh, they both hit. I'm doing great! Why can't I see my hands? All righty, so you take 19 points of slashing damage from its claw. Sorry, piercing damage from its bite. Okay. Plus an additional,

which you take half of that because you're a wolf form. Plus an additional six points of poison damage. Which I take all of. I need you to make a poison saving throw. Constitution saving throw, sorry. Constitution. Oh, that's a nine. Nine, you are poisoned,

which means you have disadvantage on attacks until you get rid of the poison or shrug it off at the end of your turn. Then it's going to go ahead and strike with its claws at you directly after that. Oh shit. Or I rolled damage, I rolled a hit for that. The damage on this as the claws both rake out towards you

and find purchase on your chest is? Not within 15 feet of you, never mind. Correct. Okay, yeah. 26 points of slashing damage. Halved to 13. Halved to 13. Because you're Wolf Form. That's going to end its go as it's like and yeah, it's just up upon you now as you guys are slowing down a little bit

and it's starting to tear into you. Yeah. All right, next, that comes to Imogen with FCG on deck. All right, I'm going to hold onto the range just in case Ashton goes crazy again and cast Witch Bolt on it at second level. At second level, go for it. Roll for an attack. That would be...

14 plus seven is 21 to hit. That hits, go ahead and roll damage. Okay. 2d12? 2d12. 17. 17 points of damage, awesome. As the energy arcs into it and then gets stuck into it, and you can see this deep violet energy is arcing around it as the witch bolt

is now latched to its life force. Just holding onto the reins and shooting at my hand with the other and trying to hold onto it. Hell yeah. All right. So finish your turn? Yeah. Okay. End of your turn, it's going to use legendary action. Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

We wiped out all the other drivers that would have taken any of these hits. I'm sorry. It's going to use all of its legendary actions, actually. All three to use a Tail Whirlwind Strike. As it's running, it leaps in the air. It puts its front legs in a lower position suddenly, starting to skid to a stop,

and then the back of it spins, and as it whirls, its tail whips around. It's going to hit everyone on that vehicle and just the drivers on these. It's not going to hit the back row. Does my Gravity Well work on that or no? Like? It would not. It doesn't make much of a difference.

Wow! That is anything within 15 feet of me, but it's not 15 feet. It's not within 15 feet, but it has a range of 20 feet on the tails. Fucking duck! So to that point, against, here, I'll roll damage for it first.

Oh yeah. I'm going to just go ahead and use here. Yeah. Shit, fuck this. You're driving. I am driving. Okay, that is 24 to hit against FCG. Yeah.

Okay, you take 16 points of slashing damage as the tail spikes streak across you and then arc over to the rest of the vehicle. Laudna, you have Blur on, so that'll be 16. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that hits. Okay. You also take 16 points of slashing damage. Okay.

Ooh. Okay. You forward. That is going to be a 17 to hit. Misses! Misses! You just duck underneath it as it streaks past you. Ashton, that is a 24 to hit. It hits, but I halved because I am raging. Misses! You just duck underneath it as it streaks past you.

Ashton, that is a 24 to hit. It hits, but I halved because I am raging. Indeed, so you take eight points of bludgeoning damage, and then Orym, that is going to be a 19 to hit. Just hits, yeah. So you take 16 points of bludgeoning damage. All right, that finishes the legendary actions. Now it goes to FCG's turn with Orym on deck.

Well, this would have helped last turn, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't do anything, because I can't see anything. Yeah. Dumbass. You just drove up in front of it. You just had no idea.

You're screaming. I don't even know who's driving right now. Oh no! I'll say for this point. I think it's Laudna because the left blinker's been on for a while. This is so exhilarating! Sorry, Matt, you were going to say something? I was saying at the end of this turn,

I'm going to have you make a concentration check because you've been cruising through space and popping into stuff to see if you can maintain this thing. High five. You probably should have that happened a few times. I really can't do anything. You can hold an action if you want to. So I think I can do, I'll do a bonus action.

Okay. Shield of, what I call Shield of Help. I don't need to see my target, but I will cast it on Laudna. And it's concentration, so the- So you do lose this. I'm going to lose the spirit, the spirit turtles. But you get a plus two to your AC.

Oh, great. So that helps. That helps for a while. Okay. And then I could hold an action, but I only have my saw blade loaded and I can't hold a spell, since that was a spell. So, Olly, can I use my action to maybe swap out the saw blade for the grapple cannon?

Sure. Allow that. Okay. All right, Orym, you're up. Okay, I'm going to come on a diagonal this way so I can try to get out into the side a bit. Okay, and as he's revving the bike forward, he's reaching down into the back of his boot and he pulls two daggers out.

I'm going to throw them at the same time towards its eyes. Okay. These are, well, the first one's going to be a Goating Attack. Go for it. That's an 18 plus stuff, so that hits. That definitely hits.

He has to hit that creature. He has to do a DC Wisdom 16. That is going to be a 12. Okay, so it's- It attacks anybody but you, it has disadvantage. Disadvantage, it's pissed at me. You got it. Yeah!

The attack is... Doing simple addition, hold on. That is six plus the d8. Two is a 10, and then I will throw the other dagger. That is an 18 to hit. 18 hits? It does hit, okay. It's a big beast. It's got some hide to it, but it's... If not for the light spell, you'd have a much harder time hitting this thing right now.

Actually, the second blade, instead of... The first one will go at its face, and the second one I will just throw at one of its legs. Okay. And I'll make this at one of its legs. Okay. I'll make this a trip attack. Sure, yeah. That's a strength. Much better chance, but DC 16. That is 14. Even with its huge bonus, it rolled low.

So it's down. Oh man. Well, that's good. One. Going to be interesting. Six. It's already been tried. Six. That's 14 damage.

Actually, thankfully, we're a little. Okay. 14 damage. Actually, thankfully, we're a little. Okay. 14 points of damage. Yeah, we're not direct. As it suddenly trips. One of its shoulder blades curls underneath it and it begins to spin over right in front of you. Yep. Thankfully, you're next.

As it's beginning to run, its body started to tumble in your direction. That finish your turn? Yeah. Orym, sorry, Ashton, what are you doing? I'm going to try and check to the left and check to the right and see if I can just knock it by rolling around it. I will say, make a dexterity saving throw for me

with advantage, as you're just trying to make sure that you can pull out of the way at the last minute. Oh yeah, 16, 17, 18, 19. You're fine. You finish, just yank to the side, and part of its tail swings wide and scrapes against the side of the armor of your vehicle, and it sparks for a moment,

and it just falls even further behind. Nice. About there. So that's your two movements there. I'm going to take my third. Up to there. You got it. You hear it screaming and flailing about. That finishes your turn, Ashton. Dusk.

Describe to me the terrain that we see up ahead. Make a perception check, if you'd like. Nice. All right. Brightly lit by FCG. We'll see. Ooh, that was a journey. That was a journey. It was a tease. Nine.

Nine. Best you can make out is, as you're moving ahead and running in the corner, you can see a bunch of stalactites, stalagmites in the floor. You can see a rock archway across the point, and that's about it, and you're cruising through that.

All right. Your face. All right. Face. Oh yeah. I'm going to hold until we get past the exit of the cavern. Okay. What are you holding? Eldritch Blasts.

Got it, okay. So for the purposes of this, the creature has been knocked down, and for the next turn, it's been having its movement to get up. It is falling behind, and even if the drivers were to continue forward, right now, it has lost its lead.

It is not moving as fast as a triple moving vehicle. So as you all continue rounding the corners, you see it get back up, and it's running and running. As it turns, you can hear it growling and snarling and barking behind you, but the green lights of its eyes draw further and further back until you don't see them anymore. Right as it opens up into the

comparable bright light, though it is a post-dusk evening, and as the night is getting darker compared to where you were, it's still a little bit brighter. As you glance outward, you said you were holding your Eldritch Blast before we exited the cavern? Do I see, now that we have light,

do I see, we're going back up the switchways, are there any, I know there are creatures around the ravine. That was just where we were? Correct. And now we have to go back up on the? Switchbacks? Switchbacks? Correct.

For the climb? Mm-hmm. and now we have to go back up on the? Switchbacks? Switchbacks? Yeah. For the climb? Mm-hmm. Climb, I can almost see it. The climb. You can see ahead of you, like the switchback now begins to curl back up the side of the cliff. Just to be safe then, I fire back an Eldritch Blast

onto the stalactites, ceiling ones. All right, you got two strikes, the same one or two separate ones? Two separate ones. Okay, go ahead and roll for an attack for each. Bring it down, bring it down. Mm. 15 and 19.

Both hit. Go ahead and roll damage on each. Okay. You need eight damage to knock one down. Oh. So see what you roll. Oh. So to see what you roll. Oh. Oh, shit.

I realized I hit the wrong one with the wrong damage dice. Six. So one cracks and you see it's still holding there. The other one? Nine. Yeah. Nine points of damage. You slam the base of the other one and it falls right as you begin to see

the green lights begin to reemerge. It slams onto its back, head, and shoulders and it streaks into the ground a bit and stops shaking its head, stunned by the moment, giving you guys an even further lead. As you begin to head up the first switchback up the climb. Which, as you start pushing up, you can feel the energy capsules underneath

that run these machines begin to pulse brighter as it's now having to try to use and expend more energy to come up at the incline. You notice this because of your high passive wisdom, or high passive perception. As you turn in the corner, you do see up on one of the upper platforms,

two figures pushing what looks to be a large rock in a waiting position that immediately begins to That's fun. Down in your direction. I would like to have all the drivers making a dexterity saving throw for me, please. Is this your all minds burn people that are just a little late to the party?

No, they know better. Can I dick her for advantage since I saw in advance? Yeah. Do they know which one? I'll say yes, because if you're high-passing production, sure. Thank you. They don't know better, actually, no. 17. 17, okay.

21. You said dex saving throw? 19. 19? Oh, but you're not driving. You're not driving. Nope. You're driving. You said dex saving throw? Dex 30 saving throw, yes. 11. Okay. So. 11. What said dex saving throw? Dex 30 saving throw, yes. 11.

Okay. 11, 11, 11. What the fuck's going on? So as... This is my first time. The two of you out of the ways, you turn around the hairpin to head back up the first major incline.

Laudna, spinning around, doesn't quite notice as the roller. I drift. She's drifting. Can I? I'm drifting, yeah. Blue sparks, blue sparks! Can I burn my last gas burst to try and pull them closer to me as we round the turn?

Ooh. I'll allow it. I'll say, I need you to... This is interesting. I know, right? I'll say, because this is a reactionary time to use your ability, we'll spend that last feature, but I also need you to make another dexterity saving throw without advantage, because this is just to quick react

after quickly reacting from something else. Let's go. Let's go. That's right. Come on. Saving throw or? This is saving throw to be like, oh shit, react, so we just need a 12 or higher. 13 plus three, 16.

Yes! So. Watch the boulder. It's like, and you see the shadow loom over you, Laudna, as it begins to come down, before you feel the entire vehicle get shunted to the side in the direction of Ashton. The two vehicles do collide as part of this impact.

So both of your vehicles do take 11 points of bludgeoning damage reduced to five. I got it. But you are pulled out of the perspective of this as the boulder then careens off the edge and down into the deeper part of the ravine. The two figures vanish from the upper level where they were. The bike is sentient, just like you, FCG!

Who's talking to me? Oh for fuck's sake! Cruising up around the next hairpin. At this point, the wind has been picking up. You didn't notice at this point because you just had the wind blowing in your face, but now you can see, before the race even started, some of the clouds that have been pulling in,

but the wind is starting to whip up more and more. Oh shit. May I? At the end of the last quarter mile of the finish line, I want to start looking around to see if anybody's laying traps, if there's anything that could mess them up, see if, watch people, see if they're doing anything. Well, the dust storm that begins to kick up

from the raising winds of the Inblown Storm begins to obscure vision around some of the spaces of the climb here. Where you are, two people are starting to put cloths over their mouths and starting to back away from the visibility. You can see those who are watching the race specifically, who are part of the platforms out there,

are shining heavy lights down to make sure that they can see whoever comes to the finish line first, in spite of this low visibility. But you can go ahead and make a perception check for me if you don't mind. Okay, cool. 17. 17, cool. 17. 17, okay, yeah. You do notice in the middle of this dust storm,

as things are going, which happened very suddenly, two figures are covering their mouths and they're dragging these wooden platforms out into the middle of the roadway. Speed strips. Yep. Okay. Yep. Okay. Okay. The rest of you are climbing,

your visibility's starting to get a little intense as you're pulling up and pulling up the side. About this time, as you guys are getting up on the last bend of the climb, you hear a and leaping and climbing up off the side of this cliff, a heavily beaten and bloodied kagaronk is still angrily chasing the same one. But while you guys were going around switchbacks,

it just climbed up the side of the cliff to catch you off. Dick. So as you all are now, we'll say, comparatively here, cruising up in this space, and you would be probably aside from this point here. It has come to cut you off once more. All right.

So it's just getting up over the side of the cliff, at the top of the round, Chetney, you're up first. What are you doing? I will hold my... Actually, I'm going to hold a dodge. Okay. If he comes within melee. You got it.

All righty. So holding your dodge, that brings us to Laudna, then the Kakarotx. Laudna. Laudna. What the fuck is Laudna going to do? Laudna does not want to get hit anymore. Laudna loudly. Laudna loudly.

Laud-ly. Laud-ly. Laud-ly. exclaims, Be ready to take the wheel in case I die. I am going to actually get behind. I'm going to shift behind Dusk and Orym. Okay. Wait, shift behind the vehicle, I see.

Sorry, sorry, you know what? Pull forward, let me pull forward. Yep, pull forward, and I'll go diagonally in front of them. You got it. And? That's your movement bonus? Your action. Do you want to get involved, Chet?

Your call. Do what you're going to do. If we're all bunched up, that tail whip's a bitch. That tail whip's a bitch. You could keep going further wide. Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. I'll take another diagonal. Yep. Okay, You got it.

All right, that finishes your go. Now it is the creature's turn. It's going to try and move this way to cut off the space, rushing up to here. It's now going to go ahead, and since it did move at least 20 feet straight forward, it gets its Pounce Strike against you. So it's going to attempt to hit you with a claw attack.

That is going to be an 18 to hit. That misses, but actually it hits because I don't have my mallet out. Oh, you're holding your dodge, right? Yeah. So if you use your dodge, that means it has disadvantage on the strike. Okay.

That was higher, so 18 hits. Got it. Right? Okay, so you go to dodge, try and move out of the way, but its ferocity, if it's now wounded state, and the scent for blood in its nostrils, it leaps towards you, strikes you with its claws, hard as it can. You take...

Not great. Ugh, that was bad. 12 points of slashing damage, reduced to six. Okay. Okay, okay, okay to six. Okay. But I need you to make a strength saving throw or be knocked off the vehicle. Do I have advantage on? You do.

Good boy. 18. 18's enough. So you feel as it strikes you with the claw, you begin, the momentum of it, the impact of it throws you backward and you put your claws outward and hit the metal and cause these streak marks as your claws actually push through the metallic armored side

of the vehicle, but stop yourself from being pushed off the car entirely. Sick. What the fuck? So that was its multi-attack with its claws. Now with its bite, it's going to go ahead and strike towards you, Laudna, since you're right there. Here we go. Blur.

Yes, we blur. Yeah, also covered. Do I have half cover? You do have half cover, which is an additional of two AC. It would be a 17 to hit. With the plus two, does that hit you or not? With the plus two, and then I also have a plus two. From FCG, that's right.

That's plus four. She has an armor class of 17. Exactly. Still hits. Still hits. Oh! No! Half cover? No! The half cover gives a plus two.

Plus two AC. A blur is disadvantage, and it rolled twice pretty decently. Goddamn it. But that was a good check out. It was, oh, by one, by one. Okay. Thanks a lot, Blur. Sticker music. Oh my god.

All righty, so with that, that is 12 points of piercing damage to you, Laudna. It's going to get real interesting real quick. All right. 12 points of piercing damage. Okay. Plus eight points of poison damage. Okay, well, 12 takes me down. Okay.

But it's all the same impact, so it's 20 points total. Correct. The poison doesn't come as a second attack. No. Yeah. So you are just unconscious. So as it bites into Laudna and tears itself away. Well, the reason why I was asking for the one-two

is because of my Strength of the Grave. Oh gosh, yeah, it's all on strike. So Strength of the Grave, which is... Okay. We got a problem here. I got to roll real high. Okay, because Strength of the Grave is... Okay. You got a problem here. I got to roll real high. Okay, because Strength of the Grave is... It reduces me to zero.

Make a charisma saving throw, DC five, plus the damage taken. 20. So yeah. So five plus the damage taken is 24. So you have to roll a natural 20. Or 19 or 20, because you're plus four charisma? Plus five charisma? I'm plus four charisma? Plus five charisma?

I'm plus seven charisma, no. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, plus seven charisma saving throw? Yeah. Plus four. Yeah, so you need to roll a 17 or higher. To what stable? Wait, so it's five plus 20 that she has to beat? Then I don't go down.

Five plus 19, I think it is. Then I don't go down. So just do that. So it's 11 plus eight. Just do it. So roll a 17 or higher. You got this, you got this. It's easy, just do it. Nope! 11, roll 11.

It was just enough of a structure to look like that. It almost is, it almost is. It was worth a shot. 18, then to 11. And with that. Laudna's down! Laudna's unconscious and slumps forward and the driver's seat in the vehicle

immediately begins to begins to just careen to one side as she leans into one side of the controls. The fuck? Someone heard me. All right, Imogen, you're up. Could I see that happen through? I mean. Could I see?

Yeah, the dust storm is, you basically can see about 30 to 60 feet beyond, not very well. 30 feet, lightly obscured. It begins to get more heavily obscured at this point. So I guess, from where you're standing, no, you do not see this happen. You just see the creature attacking that vehicle.

Not that we didn't know it was getting all fucked up anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. And I'm turning that way in a second anyway. Yeah, I'm going to just use my last lightning bolt and try to cut straight through it. Okay, so you go ahead and unleash it. I was about to die,

but really, probably only these two hurt me. That is a natural 18, so yeah, it's a 22 on its dex save. It's dexterous, just a little, oh, I didn't mean to roll those dice. Don't ignore that. That's okay. It takes half damage, but go ahead and roll for your lightning as you streak out through.

Okay. Yeah, I should have taken it, but whatever. Okay, well, that's pretty good. 10, 15, 21, 27, Oh. 31, 33, 35. 35, that's a great roll, actually.

But still half. But still half. That's still 17, which isn't bad at all. It strikes through and you can see a couple of its legs buckle for a minute. We'll say for the purposes that it does slow slightly. I think I broke off the thing and it actually snapped. That's okay. But yes, that's your action.

Is it your turn? For my bonus action, I am going to convert three of my sorcery points back into a third-level spell. You got it, boom. So put that back in. End of your turn, just going to use a legendary action.

No way. This motherfucker. To make another claw attack. This one is going to be against you again, since you're the closest one to it. Shit. You still did the dodge action, so it's still disadvantage on the strikes. Oh, that's fucking lucky.

I think it's the end of your next turn. Whatever the DM says. Fucking lucky. So. I think it's the end of your next turn. Whatever the DM says. Fucking lucky. Taking the dodge action for the end of your next turn, all attacks against you have disadvantage. I totally knew that. That's okay, it's good to remember. So that puts it at a 18 to hit. 18 is the AC because I didn't bring the mallet out.

God, get that fucking mallet out as the shield! Fuck! I know, the shield is helpful. All right, so with that, I's going to go ahead and do... Oh, there's one I do like that. Mm. Something's got to be done over there. I remember breaking the damn hammer out. Just hammer!

14 points of slashing damage against you. Reduced to eight. Seven. Oh, so it's seven. 14, right. That's going to finish that legendary action. Finishing up that, it's FCG, then Orym. Am I careening into anything? At the moment, you know, you were heading up, you're about to head up the last hairpin turn

before climbing up the rest of the cliffside. But is she steering me? Actually, no, you're right, because you're driving it. So yeah, it's starting to, it's about to turn into the hairpin, and now it's just starting to turn into the cliff wall. Into the cliff wall. Yeah. Is there anything?

I mean, I assume I was fastened in there in a way that I can't control. I can't autopilot. But is there, so there's a cliff wall on this side. Is there a cliff wall on the other side, too? It'll be on the left side as you turn into it, but you'll be colliding with it. You are the wheel,

and whenever the vehicle's being turned, you're being rotated to guide it because the back legs are just pushing it forward. It's just pushing forward, so you're just like, screaming as it just shoves you through the dirt. That's hilarious. So you can try and guide it if you'd like to. You also don't have a concentration spell up anymore

because you just felt it drop. That's true. Is there anything? So I'm slowly getting towards the wall. Is there anything to the opposite side of the wall? Like another wall or an object? It's a cliff that goes down into the lower road that you were just on.

So it's like a, we'll say a 20-foot drop. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 20-foot drop, nothing to hold onto or grab. I guess as my action, I will, wait, I can't see behind me. Good gravy. How about this? Right. I'm pointed more left than I want to be, right?

Yeah, starting to turn into the wall. Okay, I've got a grapple cannon. Can I point it behind me? Okay. Not at the driver, but. Just finish her off. Oh. And just shoot it into the vehicle and try to pull myself to right myself. Yeah, I can handle that.

You don't have to aim for it. You just fire into the vehicle, but it will be a strength check to try and pull the vehicle turn. As you reach behind, fire the grappling hook and it gets tangled up into the metal. You feel it pull taut, and now roll a strength check to try and rotate it. You can bless.

Oh, I didn't, though. Yeah, motherfucker. Strength is plus one, that's 17. You needed a 15 to do this. So you just pull and you rotate yourself by yanking on it. Sparks, sparks. You're starting to feel like the metallic elements of your shoulder begin to twist a little bit

and the metal begins to creak of your own body. But as you pull and pull, you end up, the wheel, your wheel, hits the edge of the wall, but as opposed to slamming into it, you glide up the side, and you end up arcing along it before bringing it back down and releasing it, while you're still just flailing unconscious

at the controls. Sensing that I'm no longer tethered to her. Well, see, here's the thing. I can't do a healing word, I can't see her. I can't do a Cure Wounds, I can't touch her. If I am bound to her with Sympathetic Binding, I am allowed to pump a few temporary hit points into her, but I don't know if I'm bound to someone who's unconscious.

Right. You still get temporary hit points while unconscious. I'll allow it because you're just at it. Temporary hit points can pull you out of being? No, but it'll prevent her from taking more damage if she takes less than that amount. Wow. I'll try it. It's all I've got.

All right, so unconscious Laudna, you get, how many temporary hit points is it? You're right. You're right. Oh yeah, oh my god, yes. You have that? I do, but I just fucking used my action to shoot my fucking thing. Bum, bum, ba-bum.

Womp womp. Next turn, next turn. But in the meantime. We're not ready. Okay, I'm not worried about me. Regerts! Regerts, no regerts. Yeah, so bonus action,

I pump how many temporary hit points into her? Is it a two-four? Every little bit of temporary hit points. Are you saying every little bit? I'm trying to go for everything that's magic. Everything she do just keeps me from dying. Oh, she still is fucking terrible. That was horrible.

You took the rounder in your own efforts. That was awful. Seven years, that's the best Della can do. We all dance to the same song. Same music. Same song. Oh my god. So I'll give her four temporary hit points,

which does not bring her back to life. I don't know how it works. That's okay. Yeah, my new HP, this is wild. I've never seen this before. My new HP is zero, but my new temp hit points are four. Yay! So, yeah. Temp hit points are four! Yay! So. All right. Yeah!

Tempest points are four. And doing that, I'm starting to wobble a little bit. Just up front. Okay. So with that, end of your turn, second legendary action, it's going to take another claw attack at you.

You're kidding me. This thing's angry. It's hurt real bad, but it's real angry. That's going to be a 21 to hit. Sure does. Take. Oh, does the dodge still? That's right, dodge still there, sorry.

It's cocked. That's going to make a seven, no, 16. Give us it! Yay! There you go. So after the first couple strikes, it comes down again, but you can see it's just trying to keep up and it's wounded and bleeding

and it reaches out with its claw a second time. This time, you just move out of the way and then hold onto the vehicle to hold yourself steady. Okay, finishing that brings us to Orym's turn with Ashland on deck. I see how fucked up things look there, so I'm just going to use my movement to actually skid to a halt.

Oh. Right up to it and go with my blade into the slag. I know, I slide! I love it. That was awesome. Hell yeah, Akira slide up know, I slide! I love it. That was awesome. Hell yeah, Kira slide up with the blade out. I love it. This is a goading attack.

That is a 16. 16? 16 is exactly what you need. Okay, so it's got to beat a... That's so cool. It's got to beat, I should have this memorized, 16 wisdom. 16 wisdom. Natural 17. Okay, I pull it out, whip, slide it right back in,

and use my last superiority die. That is even higher to hit. It's got to be at 16. Okay. That is going to be a 14. 14, so all right. So disadvantage against everyone but me, and I'll roll damage for both of those attacks.

Five, plus five is 10. 11. damn it. Six plus five is 11. 16, so 11 plus 16 is? 27. 27. I went into the same spot. You got and just stabbed twice and blood gouts out and it

curls back into itself for a second. Its eyes glance over at you intently. It's looking really rough. Okay. So that's your movement, action. Movement, action. And I really don't want it to get any ideas, so I grind against it and go.

There you go. Right on. You hit it. Oh yeah. You got it. Ashton, you're up with Dusk on deck. Okay, I'm going to head straight towards it with my movement.

It does get a last legendary action. It's going to claw you as you go by. It sits unhappy. How clear. Ooh, natural 19. That's going to put it at a 28 to hit. Natural 19. Even with cover?

Ooh, it's that grinding you were doing. Yeah, I mean, 29 total. Yeah, with cover. So with that. Excuse me, miss. Sorry. Oh, that's... 31 points of slashing damage to you, okay? Whoa. Okay.

Rolled Max Die on both of his dice. Got it. All right. Just like, it gets vengeance on you angrily and you feel the searing hot pain of the claws cut through you, but you continue to drive and keep it in space. Who did not clear the cave before the rest?

I'm going to head diagonally towards that with my movement. Am I within striking distance? Okay. Am I? That's about, yeah, about 30 of your striking distance. Okay, so, and I don't suppose that you get advantage from having flanking with something like this. Flanking doesn't work the same way

in the middle of a vehicle right here. Cool. And I can, what am I going to do with this? Sorry, I should have. Mister and I are sitting on a curb eating candy apples. You got it. Just waiting. That's so cute.

That's the cutting thing. Yeah. So how do you want to do it? I'm going to, I can take some swings at this thing even though I'm driving, right? Yeah, you can. You lean up and hit it towards him.

Yeah, I'm going to reroll my rage one more time. Fuck me. Okay. One again. One again. Still gravity? Yep, still gravity. And I'm going to take two reckless attacks at this thing. Go for it. Roll the dash. I'm holding on.

I'm grabbing the hammer, and I'm just going to give a wide, wide swing. I almost marushed it there. That's some Cloud Strife on the bike swing right there, that is. Go for it. All right, just need to get this to disappear. There we go. Finish it.

Don't crit on that yet. That's like 27 ridiculous damage. That definitely hits. And that's... Nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15 points of damage. 15, 16, 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. One strike across.

And it gets light again and then gets heavy and swings right back and will hopefully throw me back into the driver's seat. As the gravity swings it backward, reverses, and then continues in a backswing. That's 20 to hit. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

Six, seven, eight, 16 points of damage. How do you want to do this? Yes! I get its attention with that first backswing, and as it hopefully comes to take a look at me, the hammer is super light and gets heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier, and it just is going to cut through it like fucking butter.

As its mouth is opening, its claws, its jaws out, its large rows of fang-like teeth, dripping venom, and open bite towards your face. In a split second, in that brief little pause of time, you watch your hammer smash into the side of its jaws, its whole head ripples off, crack, the jaw breaks, the top of the snout cracks apart, and you watch as the rest of the snout cracks apart,

and you watch as the rest of its body just follows through with a sudden burst of gravity that sends it careening off from the trajectory of your vehicle and off the side and rolling it through the dust storm and off the side of the cliff. I drop hard back into the cockpit, a little heavier than I should be.

Fuck. All right. With that, Laudan is still unconscious and the vehicle's like. Is it the next round? You've got to go. There's no combat scenario thing now, but it's your turn. All right.

So I'm going to get over to the other vehicle. Jump to where Laudna is. Going to leap here? Yes. Okay. On this side there. Go ahead and make an acrobatics check. All right. 14. 14.

14, okay. It's close. You have to grab the edges of the metal and pull yourself along, and you almost slip off. It's not graceful, but you get there. And I cradle her head and use Lay on Hands. Okay, all righty.

How many hit points do you pump into that? To get you back. I technically just wanted to give you back. One? You get one. There you go. You'll get ten. You come to consciousness,

taking your breath widely, glancing up a little dazed, with dust storm blowing past and dusk standing above you, holding the back of your head. I said, hi, hi, hi. Okay. Yeah, I'm great. Great. I'm going to go back to my vehicle. Okay.

I'm going to get back to driving. Okay, good. Okay, bye. Bye. All right. Heading back to your car. You pull back up towards the end of the climb of the ravine and then head back into the backside of the skids.

Now, cruising through the vehicles, or cruising through the streets in your vehicles, you spin around corners, spin around corners. The dust storm is making it hard to see. You can see the barricades and barriers have been set up and pressed along the side, and thankfully they're helping guide you on the path where it's going.

You and the rest of the crowd can hear the distant growl and hum of the vehicles getting closer and closer. Right at that moment, you see some of the people on the side look at each other and they pull these chains. As they do, the metal platforms that were out there suddenly lift up and you watch as all these spears flip out on springs.

It's like the majority of the area right before the finish line becomes a bladed barricade. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. Oh boy. I don't know what I can do. You know, you got your candy apple. That doesn't work very safe at all.

Hopefully they make it. I'd hate to be in this race. God, I'm so glad I wasn't on one of those. Perfect. Okay. How heavy is one of them? Like... Like the platform? One of them, yeah, one of them. How far away is it from you, first of all?

Well, I can get pretty close. Wow. The closest one to you is about 100 feet away. Okay. And it looks like it might weigh a couple hundred pounds with the amount of metal that's latched in there, yeah. Okay.

So I would like to get close enough within 60 feet, so I know that I'll have to. Yeah, she's dart forward and, you know, they're not right around the corner, but you can hear the noise approaching. Grab this person's hand. Come on, we got to go. Clutches everyone along with the...

Finish your apple. Hurry. Okay, so I am going to use... Well, when they get pretty close, because I don't want anybody to ruin what I'm doing. Do a perception check, by the way. With disadvantage, because you're in the middle of the dust storm. Okay.

Okay, 10. Okay, 10. Okay, continue. Okay. I am going to use my telekinesis ring, and I'm going to try to move one of the barriers so at least they have one side to cut around. Okay, so.

And then I'm going to stand behind one of the, I'm going to run out, and just wait for them to come by and just start screaming to stay to the right. Okay. So you hear the noise getting louder and louder. You can just begin to make out the shadows of things that are cruising at a very rapid speed.

The vehicles are getting a little beat to shit and all you hear is this familiar scream of FCG at the point of one of them just going, The rest of you, full speed, as the dustbins come up, you can see the shape of a crowd screaming, everyone's cheering, you could hear the noise of everyone excited for the end of the race.

You can see the distant shape of the bone tree coming close. Right at the last minute, there's something in the way. What are you doing now? Okay. The something in the way is one of the They're noticing that they're covering most of the raceway. Oh, they're covering, they're just like,

there's lots of them. There's two large ones that, when they sprung up, they block everything except for a narrow passage in between. Okay. So I am going to take lots of them. There's two large ones that, when they sprung up, they block everything except for a narrow passage between them all. Okay, so I am going to take one of them and just try to push it as much to the side as I can to try to make a good amount of room for them to wiggle by. Okay, so go ahead and roll a d20

and add your wisdom modifier. Ooh. Okay. This is to gauge how far you can move it. Ooh. That would be a whole seven. Okay, can't move it very far. You used the ring a little bit.

It's limited in its power, and it's a very heavy piece of material, comparatively. Can I do something else? Sure. How many feet across are they? The whole raceway together is about 60 feet across, and they're about 20 feet each, 25 feet. So there's just a 10-foot gap in the middle. There's a 10-foot gap in the middle

that they can go through? If they manage to see it in time. This is going to work, I was thinking. Okay, okay. You do pull one side a little bit with that roll and it does lead into a 15-foot gap, which means the DC's lower for anyone to try and pass through. That helps, that helps.

So as you pull that apart, the three of you that are driving. Can I drive one more thing? You get one more, because you haven't been part of this race. You've been here to set up and prepare. Yeah, I'll give you one more thing. You got one more, you got one more. Okay, I'm going to run to the side, to the outside.

So if I pulled one this way, so I'm going to run to the side, to the outside. So if I pulled one this way, so I'm going to run to the outside, and I'm going to just look around and pull out the portable hole and put it underneath the one side so it'll go like this. Oh. Okay.

So you throw down the portable hole onto the ground. You can't really slide it underneath because it's a heavy thing, but you can try and pull it back if you want to. Mister, come help me right now. Okay. Ghost in Kravat is getting louder and louder and louder. Make a strength check for me.

Oh god, you guys are going to wrestle. Okay. My strength is minus two. What? Your strength is minus? That's a natural one. No! Please say she falls in the hole. Iron Beasts!

So the good news is. This is so deck, I'm heavy! The good news is nobody runs into you because you fell into the hole. Oh my god. Yay, you fell into the hole! Is the hole up front one of these spikies or is it behind one of the spikies? It's on the end. It's on the end.

On the side of the hole. You didn't pull it far. That was a natural one minus two. You just fell right in the hole. Okay, I'm just going to sit in there and... That's all right. I probably... 26 passive.

C in the distance. Any of those shenanigans? No, this is an active view because of the dust storm. So you do have advantage still, and we give you disadvantage, so it's just a straight roll for you, but I would like all of the drivers to make a perception check, please.

I make a perception check. Disadvantage, unless you're Orym, which has a straight roll. Disadvantage. Correct. Unless I'm on the correct team. Not this scenario. You've been focusing on the road. Fucking disadvantage.

Two 20s? Did you get two 20s? I did not. Seven. 11. I did not. 11 get 220? I did not. Seven. 11. I did not. 11. 13. I did not. 13, okay.

So the three of you round the corner and the very last minute you just see, oh, Bladed Barriers. Shit. All three of you make dexterity saving throws. It's a super high DC. Come on, let's do it. It's lowered because of what you did,

so it's not as high as it would have been. You're welcome, everybody. It would have been an 18. It was reduced to 16. There you go. So. I did it. 23.

You manage to squeeze through the center base. Roll a 14 or higher. What was it, dex? Dex. 10. Laudna, Laudna, Laudna! 19! 19. Laudna just goes through.

Making things hard. Then from behind, Ashton. Can I get a blade port on myself as I see it coming up? Sure, just the one thing you get. As the third vehicle, the one that you ordered and customized, slams into this blade barrier

and just gets sent into the air as it hits your kettle, shredded in the front, and then it hits the ground and skids both of you. Take... That's a lot of dice. Kids, both of you take... 23 points of bludgeoning damage. Halved. Halved. Halved for you.

And for me, because I just cast Blade Board. That's right, yeah. So that's 11 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you. So Gorm is still up? He's still up? Yeah. Wow. Amazing. Wow. And with that, they all skid to a stop.

There's a pause of silence as you all slowly stop the vehicles and turn as you pass the line that was drawn earlier. The bone tree behind you. The wind's still blowing. The sound has gone away because there's no other active vehicles. But as you glance around and look,

the crowd suddenly begins to scream and yell. The dust storm begins to fade rapidly. Yeah, this fucking takes its toll. Did we see them wipe the fuck out? As the dust begins, yes, and as you guys turn around, the last thing you see is the vehicle and Skidding come to a stop.

Laudna's just holding her head, and she just goes, Imogen, and starts to stumble that way. Both of them got thrown from the vehicle and themselves roll cartoon style and then drag into the dirt. I'll shrink back into my... Everyone is cheering and cheering rapidly.

Teni! Teni, she left it in neutral, we're drifting. Did you just throw in the brake or something? Ashton! I bolt right up. Woo! Yeah! Ooh! Oh shit, are you okay?

Yeah, are you all right? Oh fuck yeah, that was amazing. Is everyone okay? Yeah, are you all right? Oh fuck yeah, that was amazing. Is everyone okay? Yeah, everyone's. Where's Ashton? Fearne! Hello! Fearne! I walk over to where I hear the noise

and I assume fall in. With your passive perception, yeah. You just tell her, and Ashton just. Oh god! Ah! Huh? Hi. Hi, you're alive, oh my god. Yeah. Ashton just. Oh god! Hi. Hi, you're alive, oh my god. Yeah. I was trying to help, but I just,

I fell in the hole, so I just didn't help. I like it down here. Really? Yeah, do you want to boost up? Yes, please. Or should I get the boost? Okay. Well, maybe you should go up first, because I don't know if, I could probably lift you, I'm very strong.

No, let's give it a try. Okay, I'm going to put my hoof in one of his. I'm going to try and pickpocket while she goes up. Okay. Oh, god! I love it. That's 15. 15. You see he's trying to?

You do see. Yeah. Trying to reach into some of your cash. I'm injured, come on, come on. I mean, like, okay. You can always just ask him. No, no, it's all right, it's all right. No, take something. No, I don't want to.

God fucking, don't take the fun out of it. All right. One by one, you both get out of your portable hole, but the crowd is now pulled in from the sides of the street and they begin lifting up some of you. You can see teammates of the leftover absconded vehicle approach Orym and Dusk from the car. They come and be like,

Hey, congratulations. Can we have it back? Yeah, thanks for the loaner. Eh. They go ahead and just take it and carry off to the side as the two of you turn. Did you win? Did you win? Did you win? I literally was watching the whole time

and the last 10 seconds, I missed all of it. Fuck bucket reigns supreme. Fuck bucket? Fuck bucket! We kicked ass. Yes! Very fucking well. Everyone's cheering, so you're coming up

handing drinks to you, handing bottles and all sorts of errant liquids that you're uncertain if you shouldn't buy, but they're being presented and people are clapping on the back and shouting. Crowds start to disperse a little bit. I'm looking around for that tall, what was that called, the big crawlers?

Oh, crawlers. Oh, there's a mammoth crawler that was on the other side. A mammoth crawler, yeah. I'm looking for that with the woman. Okay, well, the Watchtower was where the woman was, but you look over where it was before and as the dust is pulling away, there's nobody on the tower.

If Orym springs up and lands and sits on Ash's shoulder, I want to look for anyone that we recognize, Treshi, even anyone in the crowd in any building watching. No Treshi, but the crowd is parting a bit as you see approaching a small group of what look to be Paragons called soldiers,

R'tanish and indeed Otohan, are now coming through the crowd in your direction as R'tanish is clapping. Oh shit. Well, that was a fantastic display. Very impressive. Not only did you make your way through, but you managed to abscond with somebody else's vehicles

and leave no competition behind. Very good, very good. I would say, I put in my word behind them, but ultimately it is your choice, he says to Otohan, who steps forward, and she crosses her arms, her heavy, dark reddish cloak bundled around the shoulders. You can just see the arms cross underneath,

looking across the lot of you. I want to duck behind Fearne. Make a stealth check. I get really fluffy. I get really fluffy. 19. 19. Can you duck behind? Yes, I think this could be the beginning of a relationship.

See that they are giving quarters in the barracks. We'll begin training in a few days, but welcome to the Baragans' Gaunt. She turns around, then walks off back to the crowd as Fjord Hennish watches her leave. Holy shit. All right. Apparently no one else survived but you guys. Yeah. That is unbelievable.

Yeah, just barely. Was it brutal? Was it wild? It was amazing. Everything I ever wanted it to be. It was pretty amazing. I had an amazing time. I just walked through the crowd and I got so much shit, you guys.

Thank you. Yeah. What are some of the things that you got? You just don't even know. Show us the best three. Just a little highlight. Will? I pull out a really long blonde braid.

This was just so pretty on her head, and I just had to have it. If anybody wants this. Was it at the back, or were there two of them originally? There were two, so I left her one. She had a two thing going on. That's generous of you. Yeah.

I just figured, you know. I got you guys some candy apples if you want some. Oh, that's great. I actually, they yank out my teeth. Oh, okay. Do you want a caramel one instead? Same problem. Way worse.

It's way worse. What's going on back there? Oh, oh! We got to get him out. We got to get him out. It's called caramel. We's going on back there? Oh! We got to get him out. We got to get him out. That's a large mold. We got to get him out. It takes an hour

to get him off of the glue, so we've got a little bit to wait. Okay! Maybe we can just take the car back over there. He's just idled into a corner. Yep. He's just passed you a wall. Just take your time.

Probably put something into you so you're not about to fall over again. Fine. I'm great. Someone shoved two drinks of undeterminate origin in my hands, and I'm fantastic. I assume one's poison. I suppose she has to roll for poison.

Sorry. We'll find out. Let's find out. It's break fluid. Yeah. I'm going to find out. Let's find out. It's break fluid. Yeah. I'm going to grab Laudna's hand and walk her over to FCG in front of the car. FCG! She's about to die. How are you just so good out there? Oh, hi.

I'm so proud of you. Should we walk you over to Imahara's? Are you bleeding and drunk? Yes. Or one or the other? I'm not sure. Okay. Just bring her close to me. I guess I'll do it. I'm walking right in front.

Okay, I'll cast Cure Wounds. Here's a Cure Wounds. You get eight points of healing. Woo! I like that deep, like, you're healed. Should we, maybe we can just, you know. How long has it been since the race started-ish?

I'd say around 15, 16 minutes. Well, at this point, it's close to 20, so you got another 40 minutes. Plus, we welded him in, too. Maybe we should just walk him over to Ilaria. I mean, you could probably break him out. It's not the most powerful glue in the world. Oh, it's not like that Permidic glue?

No, no. Okay. I'd rather walk them out of here. Like a tri-sling. Yeah, walk your bike home. Okay. While Laudna's getting healed, Orym's going to walk over to the heap

that was Ashton and Imogen's bike and bend down and pry away the bit of metal that has the logo of the moon. Yeah, the vehicle's still probably functional, it just needs some heavy repair. Yeah, I'm just peeling apart a piece of scrap metal that had that logo on it. Got it.

I wrap it up in that dirty cloak that I've been wearing on and off and carry away. Okay. We should take the damn loader, the one we bought back. I'm sure we'll get some love for it. This is fixable. Nothing wrong with this.

Oh yeah. FCG, how you holding up? I'm okay. I don't know. We won, right? How's your wheel? Is it bald? You look down.

The area where your wheel attaches to your lower half, the metallic portion is a bright red. Yeah. The sheer speed and friction that is built up around this entire race has brought it to the point where you were so concentrating on the chaos around you, you didn't notice the verge in which you were

close to breaking your wheel off, and you are in dire need of some rest. The heat is still there and it scrambled you, and you're entering a fuzzy fugue. Did Shadana, did we make it into the Shadana? Yeah, we made it. So good, so good. We made it.adana? Yeah, we made it. So good, so good. We made it. All right.

Yeah, you did it. Great. Let's go get you taken care of. Give Bahara a dose, he'll get him out. Yeah. All right. Let's go get you taken care of. Very slowly. Nothing but sleep. Are you hungry?

Do you want some coins that I got for you? Sure. I got your full bowl. That's also, we can, we can feed them. We can give them some chunks of the other car. We're parked in the corner, I can't reach. That's true. Make a change.

Change? Use the whole car. All right, so gathering Gathering both the loner and the heavily damaged owned vehicle, you trek back to Imahara Joe's. It is the early evening, so he's still in this workshop, hasn't closed down yet, and greets you out front with some of his associates.

So it went well, I suppose, comparatively? Oh my goodness, you did a number. You're looking at the winners. Yeah. Wow, first-timers, well done. All three, first, second, third, gold, silver, bronze, what's up? Only.

Okay, yeah, that's a lot. Roll that slamage. Roll that slamage. You don't want to exert yourself anymore. So I'll go ahead and take, oh, I don't know. I'll go ahead and take the loaner back and let them handle that. Do you need me to start working on repairing?

Can you help our friend? Oh, I didn't even notice! Hold on, hold on a second. Stuck in here and? Rushes back inside and pulls out what looks to be a large heated crowbar that was sitting over a small flame and brings it up behind and begins pushing it into the adhesive.

You hear it begin to melt through a bit before he pushes in, gets good leverage, and then pushes on it, and you tear off and come back onto your own wheel. Oh, man. That felt so good. Thank you, Imahara Joe. I appreciate it.

I'm so glad we won. And remember, you can become a D&D Beyond subscriber and unlock exclusive monthly perks. I needed to say that at some point tonight, and I just did. Now I can go on. Okay, they're starting to just babble we should do something about this.

This doesn't seem very healthy. Let him reboot. Yeah. His face is just, yeah. Groot, Groot. Do you need me to repair your vehicle, or? What's that going to run out of curiosity? I have to give it a,

I can give you a better estimate in the morning. Yeah, that'll be great. Take a look and see the extent of the damage. This is impressive. Thank you. How much for an oil and polish for our friend? Oh, we can take him in and look him over and get him up to speed and clean if we like. I'd love the opportunity to talk more

and figure this out. How's the sound? This is your date night. Okay, yeah, sure. That sounds like a good plan, yeah. Okay, okay, yeah. Can I get some help here? Two of his associates come out

and they both help your arms and carry you back to the inside. We'll see you soon. Do he want us to stay with you? Are you all right? You can all rest, it's okay. I'll be okay. You guys aren't going to reprogram him

or change him or anything, right? Oh, I would never consider touching the sentience of an entity. I'd prefer, if that's okay, to stay with this. It's fine, so. You're going to stay? Yeah, I'll stay for this. I mean, I'm flattered, Ashton,

but wasn't the whole bargain with the Paragon's Call with you, sort of? Don't you need to go? No, that's been taken care of. Oh, okay. It's utterly been taken care of, and you don't have a choice in this. Come on. All right. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Aw. So the two of you are going to stay the night in the hermitage? Yeah, we're going to stay the night here. Okay. Should the rest of us get some food?

Yeah, you're all beat to shit and exhausted. Your sleep sounds good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel sounds good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel pretty good. Okay. So I take it the rest of you head back to your undercarriage? Yeah, as we're walking, I'm just going to talk to Laudna. I'm just going to talk to you in your head.

I saw the woman from my dreams today. What? Where? Who? What? She was next to Rotanis. She was in, she was here. Wait, are you talking about, what was her fucking name? Duel.

Uh. Otohan. Otohan Duel. Otohan. You're talking about Otohan? I don't know. I don't know who Otohan is. I just know it was the woman that I saw. Gray hair, lots of armor. Incredible armor. Yes.

Yes, she was the one. Oh, holy shit. I don't think she saw me. I didn't put it together earlier. She was the one that, she's in charge of the Paragon's Call. How is she here? I don't know.

Why is she in your fucking dreams? Is she like you? I don't know. I mean, she has to have some connection. To Rue, this. But she's been real bitchy and shitty to you, right? I mean, she's... She seems scary.

And didn't you say she's got lots of people? Like an army? Yes. It could be Paragon's call behind her, but that's not what it felt like. Ashton, they said that she was like a war hero, Ashton, they said that she was like a war hero, almost like an urban legend.

Maybe she's Ruidusborn. She has to be. And maybe all the other people you were seeing are also Rude as Born. I don't know how to... Do I talk to her? Do I avoid her? You said she seemed sinister, right?

Yeah. I don't get good vibes. No. I do worry about what she might do if she knew that you were here. She's only had this untangible connection to you, but if... I just fear what she might be able to do in the flesh. I don't know.

How late is it? At this point, I'd say if you guys are walking back to the undercarriage, it's like 930. Is the moon high in the sky already? Is it obvious it's going to be another night of? I mean, it's coming up because the idea is, as the world rotates, the moons rotate with it. Rue is slowly, its rotation gets to its zenith,

and it looks like it's not there yet, but it's definitely visible in the sky. All during this conversation, Orym has been piggybacking on Fearne's back going, and then the bike went right off the cliff. What? They just died. Just right off?

Then we were underground. It was completely dark. We couldn't see shit. And then FCG's eyes lit up like lighthouses or something. Oh my gosh, that's what I saw from far away. Yeah, and then Dusk killed that thing, we thought, in the cave, and then we were like all the way to the top.

But then it had climbed back up and attacked us again. Oh my goodness. We were made in the shade, and we turned the corner, spikes and. We were made in the shade, but when we turned the corner, spikes and you and a hole in the ground. And that's how we got here. Thanks for saving our dead friend.

Oh, yeah, well, thanks for driving. Hmm? I take a nap against her. I break our mental connection and I look at Dusk. Thank you for saving her. Well, you guys did the same for me, so. Did you save her? Shit.

No. Good deal. You did! Take the compliment. Okay, okay. Okay, it's good. I said it. Let me snuggle it, held it in. All right.

In fact, I grab Dusk and I slow pace down. Go, I'm just... Look, I wanted to tell you, obviously, thank you so much for everything you did. And I'm just really sorry for acting so awkwardly last night. And I was just taken off guard

because no one has even, I haven't even thought about that. No one's said anything like that to me in 30 years. I didn't know how to process it. And I'm sorry I'm talking while I'm rambling. But I just, you know, I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that type of

emotional leap. And I think you're darling and lovely, and I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm terrible with confrontation and rejection. I just think you're lovely, but I can't! Hey, it's okay. I totally understand. Okay. No hard feelings. Don't be mad at me.

No, of course not. I'm really mad at people being mad at me. No! Okay. Wait. Why hasn't anybody ever asked you to dinner? Well, you know, I'm assuming it's the whole, that my skin is a bit clammy all over to the touch, and sometimes my jaw comes unhinged without me even knowing it happened,

and people have to be like, oh, you know, maybe reconnect it. You've got a guy with a hole in his rock head and a robot. That is true. That is true. I feel like maybe you're not as unattractive or weird as you think you are.

Oh, really? Yeah. Because I'm used to being the weirdo in the group, but now I'm a weirdo in a bunch of weirdos. Yeah. You. Are you okay? Yes, are you okay? Yeah.

Are you prepared for the big day tomorrow? No, but, I mean, I'll be there with, you know, everybody, so hopefully it'll be okay. Yeah, you have us. Yeah. It'll be great. I mean, why wouldn't they want to see you? Well, I don't know. I don't know how long it's been,

and I don't know if I'm the same. And, you know, Fearne seems to be worried about it, too. Sure. Well, I mean, it seems like maybe they could have changed a lot as well. Oh god, do you think that's true? I don't know, it's just everything that we're

hearing with, you know, their exploits and their little trips to this realm. And I just, I hope, I hope they're nice, you know? I hope they're nice for yours and Fearne's sake. Yeah. Yeah. for yours and Fearne's sake. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I hope that whenever you're ready, that you will find somebody that will make you feel less awkward. Thank you. Shall we go drown the awkwardness over a pint? Yes. Let's do it. Just wrap her arm around mine

and just catch up with the rest of the group. I'm going to stand off to the side as I watch them walk by and cast Detect Thoughts on Dusk. On Dusk? Nothing. It's like your reach slips off. Are you staring because you're jealous? I saw you watching them. Do you want to link arms with me and really lay it on the thing?

Come here, come here, let's all. Oh my god, can we do a whole? Jo, we're just going to do it just us. Oh, Jen. Come on, let's do it. Okay, well, this is the best. Come on, this is the best. I'm still up on some shoulders. We're off to see the witch.

Yeah, we're going to the witch. All right, so the rest of you go off drinking and blowing off your steam of the evening's events and chaos, the undercarriage. Is there anything you two want to handle while you're at Imahara Joe's, or do you want to take it to the next morning? I don't know what Imahara Joe does to repair me,

but do we get a good night's sleep? I'll say the majority of it is him just asking about you and your history, and is eager to learn about what you remember, where you're from, and gets all the information that you are used to providing. Well beyond that, his associates are helping tune up the wheel attachment to your body,

helping to buff out the damage, helping to clean off the remaining residual adhesives that held you into the inside, take care of your shoulder joint, which was torn when you pulled to change the trajectory of the bike. Overall, get you up as big a span as they can get, which is nice.

I'm going to sit and glower in the corner for this whole process. Fair enough. Sit and glower. Mm-hmm. Like, so much bouncer. But exhaustion kicks in quickly, and the tension within you is extreme.

A night's rest, maybe it'll help clear your head. Okay. But for the rest of you, anything else before you rest for the rest of you, anything else before you rest for the evening? Yeah, if we're all drinking, I'll go over and tap Dusk on the shoulder. You were on fire today.

It was excellent. Thank you. I just wanted to let you know, because I'm savvy, I've been around for a couple hundred years. If you need any help with the cattle ways, just cut me in on a little bit of the coin and we'll take care of it.

Well, you know, your target. You got a little picture. That they gave me? Yeah. Your bounty. What? Oh, you're serious. Oh, sure.

I've been around. Nobody hired you to find the Calloways with this little picture that you have, and you don't remember where you came from and everything's fuzzy. I won't tell anybody, I promise. But if you need any help, you know. What kind of help could you give,

if that were the case? Well, I'm handy with edged things, like you are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm just saying, I see you. And there's respect there. Everybody's got to make a buck. I like you, but I'm fine for money.

Oh. So you're not trying to kill Fearne's parents? No. Oh. So you're not trying to kill Fearne's parents? No. Oh. Do I believe her? You can make an insight check, and Eric, you make a deception and or persuasion. You don't have to mention which,

just tell me what the overall number is. 11. 18. No. Nope. One. 19. Well, whisper into his ear whether or not you're telling the truth. Cast Whisper.

So I know. Now would be a good time. Now I do the D&D Beyond thing. There it is, see. D&D Beyond exists. All right. You're a wonderful sponsor of the show. You should probably subscribe, we all do. Well, just know I'm here.

Oh, they're back. Thank you. I'm going to saunter over. To Chetney? To Chetney and Dusk. Oh. Hi. Yay!

Can I talk to you just a little bit? Yeah. I'm kind of nervous. Are you nervous? I am extremely nervous right now. What? You're not nervous. Oh, you want some privacy?

All right, have fun. What, you want me to stay? No, no, no, it's okay. Huh? Okay, later. We'll just, okay. Yeah, you're nervous. Jettney thought I was trying to kill your parents, and then he said he'd help me.

What the fuck? He did? Yes! That's weird. That's so insane. Do you think he's trying to kill my parents? I don't know. Well, he said he would for money. He must be lying.

He's got to be kidding. He wouldn't do that. Would he do that? He must be lying. He's got to be kidding. He wouldn't do that. Would he do that? He might do that. I don't think he will, though. I don't think he will. What if he does? What if he does? What is happening? I don't know.

It's okay. He won't. He's just being, it's just his personality and sense of humor. His personality and sense of humor is like offering to help kill somebody's parents. Well, you know, if you're with your friends and you're like, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to punch you in your face.

Because you're... That's a terrible example. I just, I think he's just kidding. He's probably playing around with you. I'm scared. And he really thinks I am. He does, for real? Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry. It's so fucked up. That is kind of weird, but he kind of, I think he likes to play with people a little bit. Why would he do that, though? Because it's really fun. Okay. Oh.

I'm going to take Dusk in for a hug. Oh, thank you. Sorry, I just, I'd be like, it's all right, no, it's okay. No, no, no. You really shouldn't have any reason to trust me or anything. Are you okay?

Um, yeah, I'm fine. I... It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Lysa, you want to know something really cool? Yeah. We're almost, kind of, basically long-lost siblings. You know? Yeah.

I mean, you've gotten to spend so much more time with my parents, but I feel like I know them a little bit through you, and I think it's going to be really cool when we all see each other. What if they don't trust me either? I think it's going to be fine. I'm just really glad that you're going to be there.

You can sort of facilitate, because I know I'm going to be weird. Why does everybody in the group think that they're weird and then the weird ones just really have no idea? Well, I think, comparatively, I think we're kind of weird. You know, I think we're kind of weird. You know, I think we're all kind of weird. You know, I think it's like with FCG.

You're all just special. You think so? Yeah, he's, they're very special. There's something very, very, very interesting about Fresh Cut Grass. Yeah, it seems like it. There's something very, very, very interesting about fresh-cut grass. Yeah. It seems like it. But they all are kind of interesting.

Everybody is really special. Well, you're very special and you're very interesting. You're also the right kind of weird, too. I just, I... I just think this was all supposed to happen, you know? Yeah. And... I think we're going to have a good day tomorrow.

I know we're going to have a good day tomorrow. We will. We're going to put that out into this realm, and we're going to, we're just going to have a good day. Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. Is there anything I can help you with? What is it, like, just curl or something?

I would love that so much. I would love that so much. It's one of my favorite things. Really? Oh, yes. Oh my god, right, cool. Little spoon, middle spoon. I can even do full circle and then put you in the middle. It's a whole thing.

That sounds nice. Oh, okay. All right. Okay. Yeah. We're going to have a good day. We're going to have a good day. We're going to have a good day. I'm really glad you're here. Thank you.

And thank you for saving Laudna. Yeah. She's also really special. You're really special. You're really special! Okay. Okay. I'm just throwing this little bit of background flavor that Orym probably, at this bar tonight,

has been feeling lonely and went off and sat by himself at the bar and drank by himself, but watched every one of these conversations and read everyone's lips the entire time. You can read lips? Including that conversation with Chetney. I know you can read lips.

Observant feet. I didn't. I don't have lips. I don't have lips. I guess you did. Just like, dumb. Oh, wow. I guess it has to be that. You know the idea of flesh lips on sexy feet?

They're just saying, wow, wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. La, wow, wow, wow. You would've seen me sitting by myself as well. Probably nodded to each other at some point or another. No? Like a parent of a peanut.

Okay. Very well. Eventually, you all head back to your chambers that you've rented out for the night to sleep. For the sake of brevity, it is an uneventful evening. For those who want to keep watch. Unless, you know, anybody else wants to do anything before the night's done?

I go on a murder spree. Okay, there you go. Congratulations. I mean, I know it's getting late, but I wanted to wait for dusk to go to sleep and just stare into her head as she's dreaming, because I've never come across something like that. Okay.

So on your watch, you go ahead and make sure that you're resting in the same space as Dusk and you're attempting to delve into her mind while she sleeps. Yeah. Okay. You push in once more. Yeah, it is. It's fine. It's like a wall.

It's not an absence of mind, but it's like a mind that is encased, that is protected. You are being prevented from peeking. I've never run into anything like that before. No. It's like a code it or some shit. Oh, she's got a knife.

She's got a knife. Yeah. I want to just tap on it mentally just to see what the barrier will do. It almost glides off. Like you're trying to push a blade against a curved wall. It just deflects. Sorry.

All right, I'll leave her alone. Okay. Eventually, the night is done. The morning comes to greet you and a groggy, sore morning it is. You all begin to come to consciousness. Long rest. Getting your long rest, you get to finish that.

Still spooning dusk. Still spooning dusk. I wake up to see a phone spooning dusk, and I'm just like... And then just, that's all. You just beaker it for a minute? I was going to say, you just beaker it. Okay.

Just a moment of confusion. Okay. Orym's doing pull-ups on the side moment of confusion. Okay. Orym's doing pull-ups in the side of the room. Morning. You dick. Worst. Who's that friend? Worst guy.

This fucking guy. Anybody want some brain match? No. But you do gather some breakfast and probably bring some with you along to the shop of Imahara Joe to retrieve the rest of your party. While the two of you, if you stay there the night,

it is not an unfamiliar sight. You don't need a comfortable bed to sleep. You're used to being leaned against a wall and coming to consciousness. Fresh out of the grass, you finish your rest mode, feeling rejuvenated, for the most part, still tense from the previous day's activities, but at least physically restored.

The shop, while itself is closed, and Imahara Joe is not present at the moment, this early in the morning at least, there are two of the interns or associates who stayed the night to make sure you didn't ransack the shop or so. They're up and they're currently in the process of opening the windows and getting everything ready

for the day's activities, and they give you a nod and keep going about their business. The rest of you, are you heading to Imahara Joe's to gather your group? Yeah. Y'all. Okay. Shortly before you arrive, Imaharjo does come to the shop and opens the front door with his keys, locks in.

Good morning to you. Good morning. Hopefully I know some of the most comfortable accommodations, but it was your request, not a common one. I have worse. I've had worse. Fair enough. And you look delightful.

Yeah, you gave me a nice spit shine. It's pretty fancy. Well, it's not often that people come in here requesting things that look particularly well-finished, but you came in finished, and the least we could do is try and keep you going. Yeah, and the treads are much more there. Yeah, yeah, they were gone.

You were not just bald-tiring it, you were on the verge of losing your lower half. So I'm glad you came to me when you did. Thank you so much. Not a problem. I appreciate it. Whew, I do feel better. Do we owe you anything? And also, did we owe you something for the vehicle?

I feel like we were like, if we return it, we don't have to pay, or I don't, we had some arrangement. The longer you don't have to worry about. That I fix on the dime of the Paragon's Call. The one that you guys, I have to spend the good part of the morning here just assessing the damages

and how much it'll cost for repairs. So maybe by noon, I'll have something for you. All right. But, which, by the way, I should get to work. He goes and starts gathering his materials and his gloves and getting his goggle and his mask, his little welding mask on the side. I'll be in the workshop.

Okay. Thanks. He darts into that space. The rest of you begin to saunter up to the, now as the morning progresses, the early morning sun, the previous clouds of the day had crawled away for the most part, except for spots and tufts of white cloud in the sky, of a bright blue that shines above.

It's not quite deep enough in the day where the heat has kicked off too poorly, and it looks like it's not going to be the hottest of days, thankfully. But the bustle of Bassuras is definitely beginning to kick in. And as you are approaching the front area of the shop, you do hear the familiar sound of another skirmish crawler

getting louder in the distance. As you see the dust being kicked up as it approaches, before it comes and slides off to the side and stops at the front of Imahara Joe's shop. There you see a figure standing with a helmet on and a big, heavy set of goggles in the front. As they step off the back and lean it against the side,

it is the upper half. You can see a heavy jacket. Looks to be traveling covered in dust from a large bit of travel across the Hellcatch Valley's dusts and sands and rock-torn spaces, but it's the lower half that catches your attention, as it is in itself encased in a thick, dusty fur, and itself appears to be more of an animalistic nature.

Backwards knees? Backwards knees and all. No backwards knees. Steps off, the bike sets it down, pulls the goggles up, and goes and starts looking through the window at the inside of the shop. You guys are still walking down the street

as you approach. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was that. So the two of you are inside the shop looking through and seeing her look in. Just a solo? A solo figure? A solo figure, yeah. I mean, lots of people have bottom halves like I do. I don't know. Knocks on the door

and pushes inside and enters the building. This is when both of you notice the figure enter. You can see this coating of the dull, yellowish-gray dust that's cased around the face and the fur on the sides of the cheek that gathers there a bit, and it's completely clean around where the goggles are. You see a woman, a faun,

very much in the same vein as Fearne, though visibly a little bit older. The hair itself an auburn brown coloration. Bushy past the shoulders to the mid-back, and you see a thick leather jacket that's pushed over the shoulders that she's going to dust it off and creating these clouds around like,

I swear to god, every time I travel. Is Imahara Joe in? Yeah, he's busy in the back. Is there anything that we can do for you? You new employees? No, we're just hanging out, but I'm trying to be helpful. I have nothing really to do right now.

Just letting them know I'm here. Quick business, just in for a day and out. What was your name again? Oh, tell them that Birdie's here. Birdie's here. Yeah. Birdie's here. One second.

She's just stretching her back, like, sitting in that position, So you tell him that Birdie's here. Birdie's here. Yeah. Birdie's here. One second. She's stretching her back, like, sitting in that position, just gets all my muscles all tangled. Joe, Birdie's here! Birdie's here. Do we go in? You guys hear Ashton's voice say that from the outside. Go! Go! Are you okay? Do you need something?

I just, I don't, I feel like I've never even met her before. They're in the outside still. Go! Go! Are you okay? Do you need something? I feel like I've never even met her before. They're in the outside still. Imahara walks into the search and goes, Ah, birdie! Wow, yeah, a little early, but I guess that works out fine. I'll see what I can scavenge for you.

Do you need, how many are you looking for? She goes, oh, well, you know, whatever you can spare, really. We're getting real close. Real close, right around the corner. So, um. Joll you know, whatever you can spare, really. We're getting real close. Real close, right around the corner. It's so, um. Are you okay? I'm okay, I'm okay.

I guess whatever you can spare. We got the change. She reaches into a pouch and this large side satchel that's a leather bundle that's belted to her thigh, and the whole thing is, with every step now, you can hear the coins shifting. Quite a bit of money sits in this side step.

Let's go in, let's go in, let's go in. Let's go in, let's go in. Yeah. Okay. Keep going. We're going to walk in. You've fallen, you're late. So are you a tinker or something? You build and get in spare parts or? Oh, yeah, sure. Oh.

Do you enter? Yes. Okay. You enter, and you see from the back, she's looking towards the workshop where Mara Jo is, and you see FCG and Ashton flanking the sides of the chamber. Nobody else is present. Smile of day to you.

Hi. Hi. Oh. Oh, you're already here. Oh, I, dusts off the hair and takes the helmet off and lets it drop to the ground and Hi.

She runs up and grabs you and lifts you. Fearne's fairly tall, and Birdie is about as tall, if not a little bit shorter, but is a little stockier in build, and picks her up and swings her a bit, and looks up at your face. You can see, dusty as she is, beautiful, bright, bright blue-green eyes,

just these lashes that bat themselves, as she is, beautiful, bright, bright blue-green eyes, with these lashes that bat themselves, coated in the dust that she knocked out of her hair a little bit, but sets you back down and looks, let me get a look at you. Let me get a look at you. We look a lot alike. Yeah, you. My goodness, you've grown up so fast.

I... Have I? Wow. Wow. Wow. I feel weird. Don't feel weird. I'm just happy to see you. My eyes are wet.

Oh. Here, let me, she reaches into her jacket and pulls out a big old napkin that's covered in dust. A big cloud of dust. I'm just going to get that. Thank you. I got it, I got it. She dabs your eyes a little bit.

Wow, it's been. Wow, it's been. Takes your hands. So long. It's been like 90 years. Close to six years, at least. Oh! Oh no!

Six years? Did she say six? Yep, she said six. It's a big discrepancy. Nineteen six. Six, eight, maybe? I'm just keeping track of time. It's a little weird. That, that, that...

How did you learn? I just need to, look, you were so tall. I am having a hard time with words. Dusk, do you know Dusk? I don't think we've met. Oh, you might not remember, but I think you guys spent some time together. It's been a lot longer than six years for me. No, I don't believe we've spent time together.

Suddenly, the tattoo on my arm springs to life, a ro No, damn it. The tattoo on my arm springs to life, a roiling, crashing ocean. As the waves break, they splinter off into geometric patterns that multiply and divide. They crawl up my arm, over the shoulder, across the neck, engulf my face. All of the geometric shapes drain of color and instead take on an opalescent rainbow hue,

like an oil slick on the choppy waters. Not an absence of color, but all of them at once. As the waves smooth and soften, you see that my form has changed. I'm taller, I'm a wiry muscle and taut angles. My face, sharper features that only rhyme with the soft, delicate ones that you knew.

I snap my fingers. My clothes turn inside out, and there's black robes of silk and leather with gold patterns that match and mirror the tattoos. No. I close my eyes. When I open them again, you stare into dark, inky voids, swirling with galaxies.

What the fuck? At this point, Birdie, who's holding your hand, steps back and looks back at you, breathing. I grab both of them. No, no, no, no, no. You led them right to us. I'm sorry, who? Wait, wait!

And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode. Oh! What? We didn't even ask you anything! Oh my god! No, we asked her shit. She just didn't tell us the truth. Exactly, we asked her shit. Oh. I can't wait to see that.

What the fuck do you mean? I thought I knew that. How did you know? At some point over the weekend, I was sitting there working and I went, is she hunting her fucking parents? No. Oh my god. Yes! Oh my god. Wait, what are you?

I did not know that. That is... Oh my god. I love the wood. Nom nom nom nom. What are you? Have we seen a creature like that before? I guess we'll find out next time.

Changeling shit. Yeah, you played one. Oh shit. Changeling. Oh shit. Yeah. I guess we'll find out next time. This is changeling shit. Yeah, you played one. Yeah. Oh shit! Changeling. Oh! Oh shit. Yeah. I didn't know if it was Nightmare King or changeling stuff. I know, it felt very Nightmare King.

There are variations. It felt very Nightmare King. But I mean, might be. Cool. Might be connected. Description. Yeah, I feel like it's 100% connected. I need to see the art. Pronto.

Holy shit, I fucking was fine. I need to see art. Pronto. Holy shit, I fucking was speechless. I didn't know what, I was like, . You bitch. I didn't think it was actually going to happen. Oh my god. So we'll pick up from there next time. We do.

Cool. Next week. Oh! Oh shit. I am real interested to see what happens next time. Didn't even question. Didn't even question you. I thought you were under a mind spell or something.

Just on the off chance. Just on the off chance. Just in case. I thought I'd throw that out there. I mean, there are little things, little things should drop, little inconsistencies. I'm starting to see people pick up on a little bit. I was wondering if it was going to be a little bit of a problem.

Oh my god, so many things make sense. That's weird, though. So many things make sense. Sneaky fucking Russian. Fuck. Well. Oh my god. We'll pick up there next week and see where this goes. Real interesting to see.

But until then, thank you so much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? No, it's not! Good night. And that concludes this episode of Critical Role. If you liked what you heard, please leave a rating and review wherever you stream the Critical Role Podcast Network. Your experiences and opinions

might just motivate someone new to join the adventure. We've got lots of stories to share, so please be sure to check in next week. We'll see you next time.