Critical Role - C3E44 Bawdy Basement Belligerence

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

Trapped in the basement of a fugitive, Bells Hells turn to chaos in an effort to escape their hunters and learn more about who leads their adversaries... Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources Watch Critical Role Campaign 3 live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, watch the broadcast on our Twitch channel. "It's Thursday Night (Critical Role Theme Song)" by Peter Habib and Sam RiegelOriginal Music by Omar Fadel and Hexany Audio"Welcome to Marquet" Art Theme by Colm McGuinnessAdditional Music by Universal Production Music, Epidemic Sounds, and 5 AlarmCharacter Art by Hannah Friederichs Twitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and 4-Sided Dive. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & Google Podcasts following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges and the ability to post links in Twitch chat!

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story.

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We play Dungeons & Dragons! It's an oddly sallow table, but regardless, Happy New Year! We're back for 2023! We have a few folks waiting at the table for the minute. I think we're missing Taliesin for tonight, but we'll have him very, very soon, and we miss him terribly.

But in the interim, let's go ahead and run through some announcements here, beginning with our first new sponsor this week, Capital One Shopping. And I'm told... Seriously, okay, apparently we're going to a live feed from something called the Capital One Shopping Drift Track. Welcome one and all to the Capital One Shopping

Drift Track. Capital One Shopping is a browser extension that helps you save big online. It's free to use, saves you money, and makes searching for discounts and coupons a breeze. Wait, what does this have to do with racing? Not racing, Ashley, drifting. Capital One Shopping is so easy and simple to use,

you won't just walk to your browser, you'll drift there. This seems like a stretch. I mean, is this just an excuse to get us to race around like idiots just for your entertainment? No, not race around, Ashley, drift around. Here we go, on your marks. Wait, do we have to do this? Get set. Nice try, Reg marks, get set, and go! And the drift has begun. Watching

them speed around the track reminds me that you can forget digging for coupon codes that don't work and searching endlessly for deals without results, the free Capital One shopping browser add-on instantly searches for available coupons and automatically applies them to your card across thousands of sites. It's kinda genius. You tired? How many laps is this race?

I'm sorry, Travis, I don't understand the question. Ugh, how many laps is this drift? Thank you, this drift is 10 laps long. And you're falling behind, drift harder. Oh, they look so cute. While they shred the asphalt, you can avoid paying full price, whether you're a Capital One customer or not.

Why, I used the extension to save $50 on this microphone headset. Oh. Wait, ow, I'm getting a stupid leg cramp. Of course. Oh, what's giving you this leg cramp, Ashley? This racing. No, it's not.

This drift is giving you a stupid leg cramp. Why do you keep calling it a drift? Because it sounds cooler! Okay, he's right, it kind of does. Okay, this is it! The home stretch! The final lap! And the winner is... Oh!

Oh! The winner is you at home. Yes, you're the winner when you go to CapitalOneShopping.com slash Critical Role to install the extension today. Thanks guys. Matt, drift to you. Okay.

Well, welcome back. Nice drifting. Nice drifting. Nice drifting back in. Thank you. Wow. Thank you. How. Thank you. How'd you get changed so fast?

I just threw this on top of my jersey. Got it. You're so out of breath. Yeah, it's the... Tracksuit. I got the winter coat on. Yeah, sure. All righty. Sure. I think you have lines that aren't on the prom shirt.

I do? Okay, great. Yes. No, I said this in the thing. No, never mind the lines. Shouldn't have been on the script. Ah. Yeah. On that note, this episode is also also sponsored by our friends at D&D Beyond.

D&D Beyond! You can add 11 new Dragonlance monsters to your game with the Monstrous Compendium, Volume 2, available now to claim. These monsters are not found within any source book, and you can get them at no cost on your D&D Beyond account at dndbeyond.link slash crvol, as in Volume 2.

Go ahead and check it out now. Laura, you have some announcements. Make. I do. What are they? We have merch. get out now. Laura, you have some announcements. Make. I do. What are they? We have merch. We have merch. Hold on, this one?

Okay, okay, okay. I've been really excited about this. I'm not even going to give it to somebody else because I want to put it on. I want to do that. Yep. Oh! I know, let's look at those arms.

What? I had to touch it. I had to touch it. I've been waiting on this one. This is for our subtle want to rep the company, want to rep a CR without actually looking like you're repping CR. What an advertisement I'm giving right now.

Check out this amazing lighting! Whoa! And then wait, put your hand in the pocket. Is it warm? Is it warm? It's warm. Why? Oh, wow. It's got fleecy-lined pockets. Fleece-lined pockets?

Fleece-lined? Y'all, it's the extra step that makes this puffer jacket just the best. I want to feel a pocket. Here. Where is it? What the heck? We've had it. So we've been, this has been in the works.

It's, yes, and a little zipper pocket right here. For your cell phones, and it's also fleece-lined. Right there. I want to feel a pocket now. Well, too late. You should have done it before the show. Oh, well. Because this is mine now.

I'm going to take it off because it's going to make a lot of noise on camera. I want to blow your little cozy. But we also have this! Da-da-da! Hey! Aw! It's an MCG shirt.

It says, smiley date to you. Aw! That's so cute. Thanks, Jordan Torres. You're a great designer. Yay. Check it out. They're in the stores. I don't know which ones.

There you have it. Off to a great start this new year. Marisha, you have a quick announcement to make, too. You guys, our latest episode of Foresighted Dive, it's out, it's available. It's right now, right now on Twitch and YouTube. And more importantly, friend of mine, friend of mine,

we're going to be taking a break from Foresighted Dive next month because we are going to be bringing back our weekly watch-along watch party. A watch party of what? To celebrate season two of The Legend of Vox Machina. Yes!

It's going to be great. Come watch, and then we'll return with episode 11 of Foresighted Dive in March. Yay. It's so close. It is. It's so close. I can taste it. It is so close.

It's so close. Fantastic. It's almost here. Well, what is here is the end of the announcements. Which, last time mistaken, means it's time for us to go ahead and jump into tonight and 2023's first episode. Oh! 2023! Oh, that's no way. Could it be wrong?

Critical. Fast and easy. Critical. Fast and easy. It's Thursday night! One by one we climb until we reach the top. Two by two we fall. Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? Hold your breath and roll.

How do you want to do this? It's Thursday night! All ye critters come join us It's time to continue our plight There is magic and mystery Who knows what will happen He might But one thing's for sure We never give up on the fight.

From the healer to the renegade, we all share the same goal. Adding more allies, taking more chances, hold your breath and roll. You can certainly try. It's Thursday night. All ye crittersters come join us. It's time to continue our flight. It's Thursday night. There is magic and mystery from darkness.

Our friendship will rise. When one thing's for sure, we never give up on the fight. Oh, get ready, it's Thursday night! And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bell's Hell is here within the City of Eos, the City of Flowing Light, in search of information and individuals

that they have been sent towards that are prominent members of the Grim Verity. They may be able to provide some answers as to this growing, ruidous mystery. Upon searching them out, you also discovered that there are elements of the Vasselheim Temples that have sent sentries and adjudicators across the city searching for,

you presume, those who stole the secrets that the Grimverity currently hold. We don't got those. You also were assailed by a terrifying, necromantic bird that seemed to be the long legendary shithead that in the past had harried and chased this poor automaton. Necromantic.

After killing it and then watching it climb itself back up into the ground and then flying off into the distance, you begin to seek out where Ebonald Kai may have been, being told that he had not attended his classes and had abandoned his post as a professor for a number of months. You manage to ascertain the information by Charming,

literally magically Charming, one of the figures who works as a clerk at the seminary. They guided you to where he is supposedly set to live, but the house seemed to be closed up. Upon inspecting it, found that some elements of it were trapped and set up in a defensive way. Some of you masqueraded as gardeners for a while out front,

while the others stealthed their way in before letting you in. Excellent mind work. Upon searching the household, there was signs of life, but no individual to be found until you discovered a hidden passageway behind the kitchen wall that led to a basement

in which the figures within managed to try and escape, created an arcane circle and bamfed away. You gave chase and found yourself within the fire Elemental Plane. Actually, specifically within the home laboratory of Planerider Ryn, who you met along with Evan Old Kai and pretty much the current remaining members of the Grim Verity within the city that you know of.

Dr. Baron Vestishow as well. Here you discovered some unique tidbits of hidden lore surrounding Ruidus, surrounding its creation, and surrounding the gods that no longer exist. The two that vanished in the long-sealed tomes of Vasselheim and the entity responsible for devouring them, Predathos, the entity that supposedly was sealed away

when the moon was created as its prison and sent beyond the boundaries of Exandria, where it has slowly floated through the sky till this day. You also know that these strange machines, the one that you knew was being built within the Feywild long ago by a union between the Cerberus Assembly, Otohan Thul, and Iroendagoth, the Nightmare King,

apparently is but one of three, one that exists in the Shadow of Hell and one that exists here in Exandria within an excavation site that the seminary was currently overlooking before it was forced to cede control to the Assembly in recent months. Now, after discussing some possibilities

on how to tackle any of these challenges with just a little over a week left before the solstice itself occurs, you were sent back into the basement of Ebonold Kai. Before you could exit out to see your next wave of fortunes, you heard a heavy impact from the inside of the house above,

some footfalls and some words. It seems the house is being stalked by individuals who are seeking others. And that's where we left off. Hearing the creaking of wood above and hearing the footfalls, and the one voice saying, "'Did you see him?

"'You smell him? "'Find him.'" Another voice goes, "'Are you sure it knows what it's doing?' "'Course it is. I work with him all the time. "'Don't worry. It's in the market's rule.'" Who was that? What? What? Wait, what did he say? What did he say? I work with him all the time, don't worry. It's under my control. Who's that? Who's that?

What? What? Wait, what did he say? What did he say? Do we recognize either of those voices? I work with him all the time. Everything's under control. It's under my control. Did you say Ebonald? No, it's under my control.

Just a voice that you heard up there. Do you recognize either of those voices? You do not recognize the voices at all. Laudna, did you grab the rod of holding? I do. Can you put it in front of the door? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you grab the rod of holding? I do. Can you put it in front of the door? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Does the door open in?

It does, right? Yeah. Great. Very quietly, click, click. SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, FCG, shut the fuck up! I like to do sound effects for people. Dink, a-dink, a-dink, a-dink. I put it down. Oh wait, wait, wait! I like to do sound effects for people. But. I put it down.

Oh, wait, wait, wait! What? Wait. Didn't the door swing this way? It swung up. Like a DeLorean? Oh, up and out. But it would still be blocked. Up and in. Swinging up, right? No, it was like a DeLorean.

It was like a DeLorean. Oh, it came out. So it would not. Okay, wait, so let's discuss backup plans. Maybe if they come down here, we could act like we've all been attacked brutally. Like we all fuck each other up real quick and then we're like, oh, thank god you found us.

Or we all just start fucking. Wait, what? That would make them uncomfortable and they would leave. And we just act like we are glad to see them, that they've uncovered some crazy orgy. Be like, what's the password? Yep. Leave your keys in the bowl.

It's not like they're going to keep coming. I mean, maybe it's their bag and then we all win, but maybe they get awkward and leave. I think we still have all of our masks from the Masquerade, and you saw, if we wanted to put the masks on. Do a bit? Yeah, yeah, do a bit. I love a good bit.

I mean, you know. I could use my tongue. No! No! No! I hate it! It's not canon. What is this? Don't touch it! I don't like

how it feels at all. Don't touch it. I could use my tongue, because I don't like how it feels at all. Don't touch it. I can use my tongue because I don't have any reproductive organs. Or if people are feeling- Just use one of your attachments. Apprehensive, we can just fight each other. We can just attack each other. Would you rather me use the buzzsaw, the hammer?

I thought you had special attachments. Oh. We need to make you attachments. I don't think I have those yet, but I can build one. Are there any- Regardless what. Are there any fireplaces, any other exits out of this basement that we can see or where we're outside of the door? It is a simple storage basement.

You can see there's two tables. There's a smaller table with some chairs off to the side. Looks like this area has been both a meeting room as well as a transitional space in and out of the city. The smell in here, this is also the strong smell of sweat that you were smelling earlier. Some from the people, the Ebonold and Beren, but also just the room smells of being lived in

for a long time. Smells like old tubes. Yeah, kind of. This was definitely a holding spot to stay out of sight of people that are prying. Call me if I'm mad, I got nothing. I got no fire. I got no fire.

Hinge is on. Yeah, yeah. Are you still trying to figure out where to put it? If you put it at the top, then it can't, this part can't go in. Oh, that's a lot of, you're assuming a lot. I'm 100% assuming so much. But I'm going to do it anyway,

if it fails, then it fails. I'm going to put it at the very top and see if maybe it'll stop the jam. Like a garage door? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it jams it? Like at the very top crease. Some garage doors, they have to come in to go up.

Most doors, if you open it up, it has to come in a little bit. Yeah. Sure. Okay. But I'm just doing that to give us time to talk about the orgy we're going to stage. Wow, okay.

Or we could just fight for our lives. That seems, you know. I mean, I think that's the second step of the orgy, regardless. Well, Laudna, as you, having to go up the steps, I'd like you to roll a stealth check. Balls. Balls.

Can I just use my telekinesis? Natural 20. Ooh! So lit. It could have been on any other roll, but it's on this one, and I'm going to take it. Roll for Orgy. As you quickly dart up on the balls of your feet

up the roughly-hewn stone steps up to the backside of this hinged door that leads outward into the middle of the kitchen area. Grudge. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Scurrying up at the top, you can see there's two bolt hinges that hold it in place on the inside of where you are.

So that way it folds outward that way. Make a perception check for me. I've already used, it's 20. 10. 10, okay. You listen around, you can just hear some footsteps moving through the house. No, okay. You listen around, you can just hear some footsteps moving through the house.

No, 11. Okay. That's much better. You hear some footsteps going through the house here and there. There isn't an intent to be quiet. If anything, the steps are intentionally heavy. Occasionally, you hear a voice bay.

I don't hear anything. Not upstairs, at least, though. You sure you saw these people enter, right? Well, it's what it says it saw. It says it saw. So you're putting, how are you placing this rod? What are you? Okay. So you're putting, how are you placing this rod?

What are you? This stuff, there's no way this works. We're trying. Probably not, probably not. Is there a locking mechanism on it? You said it was, there's no locking mechanism from the inside, I'm guessing. No, it doesn't look like there is.

Is there a handle or? You said there's a handle. There is a handle. There's a handle on the side, I'm guessing. No, it doesn't look like there is. Is there a handle or? You said there's a handle. There is a handle. There's a handle on the side that you're at. Well,. Wait, there is a handle? You said there's a handle? Like if somebody were to try to hold it from this side or to pull it taut against the wall,

it can be tugged from the inside. Oh! It's big enough to slide. Yeah, can I slide in between the handle and the door? You could. I do that. Okay. Oh. that. Okay. Oh. Boom. Yeah.

SAM and LAURA, all over the place. Through the handle and against the wall next to the door, to where it's jammed? 60 pounds of weight. And not just through the handle on the door? Well, the end. You're changing how she's doing it? No, no, no, I'm just saying,

for clarification, for my visualization process. The handle's in the center of the door. The handle? Yeah. So you can't wedge it on the edge of the... Correct, it's meant to just pull it flush from the inside. Got it. All right. This door goes both ways.

I start taking clothes off. Is that for the one where we're beating up or the one where we're beating off? I don't know. I'm open to anything. I back down. Tickety tickety tickety. You hear a heavy impact.

It sounds like a piece of wooden furniture, tall, ends up being thrown onto the ground somewhere within the building. You hear various books and other kutraman and decor hitting and tumbling to the ground. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. They're definitely overturning the place. I'm going to Detect Thoughts.

Smart. I'm going to go towards the door as well and Detect Thoughts. Okay. Let me go ahead and confirm one thing about Detect Thoughts. Oh, he's got to confirm if gods have thoughts Let me go ahead and confirm one thing about the text. Oh, he's got to confirm if gods have thoughts,

because there are two gods up there. If you've been reading a little bit. No, there it is. Okay. You sense four presences within the house. Presences. That's half a house. Three of them are in immediate proximity,

and one of them is moving around rapidly. Like, you sense it upstairs, then over here, then upstairs, and back downstairs. Does it feel intelligent? It feels like it has an intelligence, yeah. Okay. Are there any

lines or, sorry. Easy. Frog. All right. Like gaps in the doorjamb to where a spider could crawl through, for example? On the very, very bottom, it looks like there could be a very small spot for that, yeah. All right.

I'm going to take out Pate. He can become a spider? He can, he has shape change. What? What? Yes, he does. Oh god, how cool. Varyn, I'm going to tell him. You have to be fucking quiet.

Okay. She won't do that. Really quiet. I need She won't do that. I will. Really quiet. I need you to go spider. Okay. Then crawl through, and I'm going to be your eyes, all right?

All right. I'm going to look through. Follow the action. I've never done this before, it's so cool. Break the action. The wings, the rib-like wings curl back and as the whole form swirls into this slight, almost black, mucusy bulb.

As it hits the ground, turns into smoke and vanishes, leaving right there in its space where it was, this tiny, dark spider with the easiest little bit of a bone-like head to it. It's fucking awesome. Thank you. He's so great.like head to her. That's fucking awesome. Thank you. He's so great. He's really cute.

He's so cute. He skitters out into the door and you begin to concentrate. Yes. I'm going to hold onto her back. Sorry. Can I detect the thoughts of any other people that I sensed? You have to see them to detect their thoughts.

You can sense them. Why does it say on the spell, once you detect a presence of a creature in this way, you can read its thoughts? Oh, that is the bottom one. Yeah. I'm assuming it's them. This spell, man, it's got a lot to it.

You're right. So, okay, so which one's? Whatever's closest to me. Okay. What were our operations here? So, spider's heading to the door. Mine's super quick. Orym is just positioning on the bottom of the stairs,

trained on the door, ready to fight. Hey, you have the Wild Nell shirt on! Wild Nell! Wild Nell! Sorry. Ready to be the first one to deal with a problem. You got to fuck it, Laura. I'm going to sympathetically, I'm going to bind myself to Laudna and Imogen.

I think, do I do three now? You may, I believe so, on your sheet, unless it says otherwise. And Orym. Okay, confirm that if you'd like to. You naked yet? Chet, look with your eyes. He's over there fluffing himself.

He's all alone in the corner, just kidding. Where are your hands, Chet? Oh, there they are. That's not bad. It's a plan, right? Okay. Okay. The one closest to you, just the surface feelings, the thoughts that come your way are, Spider-Man, I've been a waste of time.

I've been waiting too long for nothing. I'm getting sick of standing out here. All right. All right. All right. As the spider crawls out, you see one figure stepping into the kitchen. It appears to be a humanoid, at a quick glance, half-elf,

very thin in the face with a bit of a handlebar mustache that curls up into a stone wall beard, but well trimmed on the sides. Long, thin brown hair that frames the face, wearing bits of leather shoulder armor and these long, deep maroon and gray robes. They look like they're well-dressed.

And they're glancing in the kitchen with intent. They begin to curl down and look underneath the central table. Signal to Imogen. You can tell me. Takes a... With your brain powers. I tell Imogen with my brain powers what I see. Pulls a long, curved blade

and begins poking underneath the tables and the pieces of furniture in the kitchen. Roll a perception check for Pate. For Pate? Mm-hmm. Is that, I'm using his stuff? Mm-hmm. His wisdom? Yes. 16 total.

Okay. I think he's better at it than Frumpkin was. Cool. Pâté also picks up this occasional sound from upstairs. This and then suddenly, there's this rush of air and you see this somewhat corporeal form

you can just barely make out through his eyesight and hear the sound of it, like this sudden cluster of a centralized, located whirlwind just sits there and rests for a second. You can almost see the bulky humanoid form made entirely of swirling air stand at the middle of the entryway into the kitchen.

Can I see shit? You see this sense of a face and it like... I gesture to, let's go down the stairs. I guide her down, because you're blind, right? Oh god, I'm going to try to guide her down very stealthily up the steps. Okay. This is stealth.

I'd like for you to roll a stealth check. I need to beat a 19. I'm going to, can I? Oh, it's a bonus action, forget it. Guidance. Can you, but you have to touch me for guidance. I am. Do you want to roll a stealth check to get to her?

Do I want to what? You have to roll a stealth check to get to her. You have to walk up the stairs and then bang your mouse. I can give her a boost remotely, but I think it's a bonus action, so it's not a reaction. Nine. A nine, okay. Uh-oh.

Okay, so you slowly begin to descend the steps. You immediately begin to hear the metallic ching-ching-ching of hanging silverware and weapon or knives and cookware clinging into each other, and the sound of air beginning to pick up within the kitchen, and you hear a voice go,

How'd you see something? You smell something. Where you smell it, boy? Show us. Oh, Jesus. It's very loud and you can see dust beginning to push through the bottom of the doorway. There's a change of air pressure between the two rooms.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. I have Paté make an athletics check using the spider's physical strength. Oh no. Using the spider's physical? Yes. Use those grippy feet, buddy.

Roll a d20 and do minus five. Oh fuck. Negative two. Yeah. You have this brief moment where as the wind begins to pick up, this hulking mass of swirling wind sits in the center of the kitchen.

All of the various implements and contained spices and other things that you would see normally in a kitchen are rattling and moving around, many of them being pulled off and swirling within it and scattering off. You see blades to the side of the walls after it gets pulled in and flung out.

And Pate is grasping the side of the table best he can, his little spider body going, . Six legs in the air. And gets whipped up into the whirlwind and is just swirling around inside. Just. Whoa, whoa.

Yeah, it's very disorienting you for a second. But he's all right. So far. He's all right. Do you maintain your concentration? Yes. Make a constitution saving throw for me. Oh god. Don't bar throw for me. Oh god. Don't barf on me.

Because of the menage. Jesus, this is. The vertigo of swirling around. Just straight con save. That's a bad VR game, dude. Oh, the worst. Cocked. Ooh.

Can I give her a little boost? A little bonded blessing? If you want to, yeah. I'll give her a bonded blessing. What does that mean? You get a d6, it's like a little inspiration. Oh. You can spend it now if you like.

Oh good. I just waste my fucking thing. Yeah, immediately. Eight. Eight. Oh no. You just, you just, you just, Just a tiny little bit. Just a little upchuck and you,

the more you concentrate, Pate is on a whirlwind ride indefinitely. I'm sorry. Is it just dust? In your head, yeah. It's all right, I'll clean it. I got it. I take my little scarf off

and start cleaning up her mouth. You're still just out of it, right? You're still, I can break it. I'll break it. I'll break it because I can always check back in. You break it as you're cleaning her up and going down the steps. The wind, the heavy wind of the room,

gets a little quieter and calmer. I think this is when we start fucking. The wall. Still holding it. Are we playing dead already? Oh shit. Oh god. Maybe both. Oh fuck.

We're fucked, guys. That's us. Fighting against the current rob there. The dust picks up underneath the door a bit. That was a low stealth roll, I'm so sorry. No. Are we dead or are we fucking? What if one of us is a distraction? I could just take off and run and make them chase me.

You guys can get away. How are you going to get past that? This is a doorway. You got to get away. I'm a fucking werewolf. What do you think? What if they just want to talk? They don't want to talk. Everyone needs to talk.

It can help your insides and your outsides. Talk or run or fight, what do you think? Run. Run. Run? Okay. You're going to be a two-star. Through the full doorway? I'll run. The dust begins to heavily push out as the wind presses beneath the gap

at the bottom of the door. Oh no, we're fucking! We're fucking! We're fucking? We're fucking? All right. Here at the top of the stairway, you watch as I cast Light and Spotlight on him.

Yeah. Oh no! So close. You're stripping? Hold on. What's happening? No, I'm not! Uh-oh. Yes, I've burned takes off her dress. You wear clothes!

I even have legs. Okay. As an eight and a half, nine foot air elemental apparates from underneath the door and fills the entirety of the chamber. With a little pet take. On the inside. You included?

Huh? Included? Came in for the ride? I rub my blouse off. I'm panicking. I'm shining spotlights everywhere. I'm running up the stairs. I'm running up the stairs, and halfway up the stairs, I'm going to turn into a werewolf.

You run out to the stairs, and this entity is right there. Panic take on the ship. We're going to have to go on initiative. Oh! Oh, this combat is brought to you by WizKids Minis. The Vox Machina box set is available for pre-order. Find these and many more Critical Role Minis

at wizkids.io slash CRminis and your local game store. All that plant talk with a bunch of bullshit. So we fart a nice titties around? I can't believe that. I thought we were going to be in a fight with our tits out. Maybe this is a super horny era, Elemental. Yeah.

You guys are all in here, I guess? No, Orym's at the bottom of the stairs. We'd be at the stairs. Yeah, you were at the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs. Were you lowering yourself down, you said? Because you were descending. We were still coming down the stairs, yeah. Right.

So as this thing was coming through, were you then leaving the chamber or you were staying on the stairs? I think we were at the bottom of the stairs, weren't we? Yeah. Yeah. Orym would have the stairs. I think we were at the bottom of the stairs, weren't we? Yeah. I, yeah. Orym would have navigated. I'll be in between Imogen and Fearne.

Orym would have navigated around them as Wheezy is because I was waiting for this at the bottom of the stairs. So he lets them by. So I'll be in the front until Chet busts past, buck naked. Okay, so you're going to be right there and Chetney,

move his head away just for the ease of viewing. Fuck. busts past, fuck naked. Okay, so you're going to be right there, and Chetney, move this out of the way just for the ease of viewing. So that's rushing by. You fuckers. I reach to Fearne, underlighting her underboob. Okay. Lighting, good lighting, good lighting. Okay, and there's Laudna rushing to.

Just the scariest lighting. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh! As you're transforming, you said? the scariest lighting. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh! As you're transforming, you say? Like a scary story flashlight. All righty. Oh god.

All right. Oh boy. It's cramped. It is cramped, it's a basement. Oh no. So big. You see its eyes almost glow with this dull, angry,

furious, elemental arcane power. As the rest of you rush down inside, Orym, you're right there with a shield and sword at the ready. You're about to leap as the transforming, partially nude. Okay, I got my briefs on. Okay, there you go. Chetney comes rushing by,

rushing up at the top for initiative on this. Okay. Has it been more than a minute since all this started? Probably, right? Since all this started, yeah. You guys have all been quietly listening and taking some time with it. 25 to 20.

24. Oh, wow. Nice. Is it? 20 to 15. Uh-oh. 15 to 10. Oh no! Come on.

Started off right. Whatever you do, we'll follow. 10 to five. Nine. Eight. All right, so. Who's got a higher dex? Laudna or Imogen? I think I've got a higher dex, but I'm not sure. My dex is 14.

Plus two. Mine is plus two as well. So roll A's. Roll A's. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Jesus. Oh, wow. It's too bad that was so close. Because it's a person. Oh! You wasted it on a rollies?

Natural 20. I never waste it when it's on a rollie. Okay, so Imogen, then Laudna, then Chetney. Yep. Seven for me. What were you? I've got a two. Oh, okay. Oh my god.

And Fearne, what's your dexterity? Mine is... My dexterity is a plus two. It's a 14. Okay, so two are going before you. Some are going before me? The wind men? Yes. And then two.

Taliesin, we miss you! I know. Oh god. Well, Orym, you're up first. As you see, the woven form of Chetney begin to emerge as it tries to rush past you up the stairs. You are there standing, shield with a ready blade, and this creature, while it was in an investigatory mode, now begins to see that there is something below here

and is preparing itself to hold the line. What are you going to do? There's no way by, right? The door is still there, immovable, rotted shut. The door is still there, immovable, rotted shut. The door is still there, immovable, rotted shut currently, yes. Oh shit. And what's the demeanor of this thing?

Is it just hovering, waiting, or? It's just now, like formed out. And it's just noticing you there, and you see its eyes begin to flash in intensity as it begins to recognize that indeed, it's found what it thought it was smelling. Okay, then at the moment when I'm- It's not too late for plan fucking.

Or fighting, or whatever. Plan fucking? You want to fuck in initiative order. I'll hold my turn. 20-20-20, guys! 20-20-20! I'm going to take a couple of steps I'll hold my turn. 20-20-20, guys! 20-20-20! I'm going to take a couple of steps up the stairs past Chetney,

hold an attack and say, I'm going to hold an attack, if it gets within range, attacking me, and I'm going to look up and say, Invite only. Ooh, yeah, yeah, that's good. Oh my god! Oh, I have my knee!

Oh my god! Oh god! Yes! Oh, it hurts! Oh, but it's so funny. I'm holding an attack. You're holding an attack, ready, and saying Invite Only.

Invite Only. Okay. So that's going to be your turn. Yep. Next up is Imogen with Laudna on deck. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Our son will see this one day. Don't say that. No, I won't, it's too many hours.

No, they'll live in it. I have a wind sound I can put on't. It's too many hours. No, they'll play the sound I can put on here. It's like a moment. What was the sound, boys? We're just getting started. Aw, yeah! Four. We're fully committed to fucking. We are? Yeah.

Wait, wait. Repeat for Ashley what you just said. What was the sound up there, boys? We're just getting started. Oh. What was the sound up there, boys? We're just getting started. Oh! Oh man, Matt, thanks for preparing all that deep lore last game. It's so rich and deep.

Yep. We'll see how deep it gets before the episode's done. Oh wow! All right, so. Club the depths. I will say, make a deception check. Okay. Just for the hell of it.

Do I give her advantage because of the invite only? And because our titties are out? No, because you're standing in an aggressive way with weapons out. No, I'm acting like the guard for the orgy. I'm the doorman. Clearly. Okay. Clearly. Duh! Okay, got you. Okay, I would like you to make a deception check as well.

Okay. Oh, great. Both of you. I rolled a 24. Yeah! 24. I rolled a five. Okay, so then I'm counting these up. I wanted to give you advantage.

Okay, so that's your own action. You're going to shout that phrase out, and that's your turn. Hold on, let me look at, just one little second. Yes, and I'll Star Time Button my vest. Okay. Oh my god. Just a small town girl.

Laudna, your turn. Ashley. Never miss me in the hole. I pull out the trashy scryball and I toss it to FCG and I say, Oh my god. Good day, I'll do it.

We have to hurry. We're late for our session. What? What does that even mean? I don't know, but I'm going to roll with it. Hit it. Yes, I am. What the fuck?

She's webcamming a bit. It's great. I'm going to hold it and aim it towards her. And shine the lights on her. Oh! Oh! For her only heroes? Uh-huh.

Okay, go ahead and roll. I'm sorry. Go ahead and roll a deception check. Woo! I love you so much. Because this is a context everyone in this world understands. Yeah, oh yes. Don't fuck me, Gil.

Natural one. Oh no! All right, that's two in that court. Yeah. I'm pretty sure this is all just confusing. Yeah. So Imogen, is that your turn? Are you going to stay put?

That's Laudna. Wow. Sorry, Laudna. Sorry. I don't know why it happens. I do. Sorry. I do, too. I don't know why. It's punishable right now. I don't know why. Brainwashed. My apologies.

Crossing. Yes, stay. Yeah, yeah. That's my turn. All righty. I don't know what else to do. Oh god. Okay, Chetney. I'm going to hold my attack

and I'm going to turn halfway up the staircase and prepare to descend and say, Wait, wait, wait. It wasn't a one. What was it, a seven? No, it was a 19. Wait, what? I saw it wrong. I think, right?

That's a 19. I don't think I touched it. Wait, how did you go? Now I don't know. How That's a 19, because that was... I don't think I touched it. How did you think it was a one? Now I don't know, never mind. Just move on. It's too late now, move on. Fuck. How did you think it was a one if it was a 19?

Because it's too hard to see with the reflection. They're very hard to read on the gildai, so that was the first gildai ever. It's also the first, that's a strategy. The challenge here is the 19 is next to the one. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know. You don't know. I don't know. We'll go with the one.

So that was what was initially there. Okay. Regardless, Chetney. I'll hold my attack in case an enemy comes near and I'll turn around on the stairs and face down and I'll say, Okay, I'm waiting for my action. Let me know when to enter the scene. I'm here to fix your pool.

Is that my cue? Make a deception check. Oh god. Come on! The voice goes out. You. Make a deception check. Oh god. Come on! The voice goes out. 17, 18. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. It is now the air elemental's turn. Okay. A voice from behind the wall, as the wall's now being knocked back and forth against the strain of the rod, voice goes, What do you see?

What's down there? I'm hearing voices. Open it up, open it up. From the doors impacting, the elemental like If a creature without a neck could tilt its head confused, its arms go behind it and it darts at an arc and with a little bit of space there,

it seems to stretch, almost like the abyss, liquid head, but made of air, over the top of you, over the top of Chet, to into this chamber and is floating up right towards the ceiling and this edge taking in the vicinity. The wind, by the way, in this room is starting to whip around it.

Bits of dust and scraps of burlap and old dried grains and dust and rocks are just being cast upon this small cloud in the room around it as it does and just sits there. I don't know, we rented a wind machine for this one. Oh. I'm a big, bright, shining star.

I'm a big, bright, shining star. It's not attacking yet. It looks like it is, one, trying to ascertain what the fuck this is. And two, is asserting dominance within the chamber. We had three arguably better plans and this was the one? Fearne, you're up.

You're going to Deception, right? And you're naked. I'm just full naked. My Deception's fine. I am going to... I'm going to produce flame and I'm just going to rave dance. Just like, you know, like.

SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA. Are you acknowledging the giant wind creature that just? Not at all. Okay. I'm just lighting, dancing. Like those burlesque performances? Yes, dancing around Laudna, giving her the light, behind her, interpretive dancing, shimmying.

This is the most unique initiative. Don't know what's happening. Okay. But I will hold an action if he attacks. Okay, what are you holding? I'm holding my... I'm holding my Caleb's Produce Flame.

So if he does something, I'm going to foof it at him. You can paint this, Larry Elmore. All right. Just dance it. Yes, please. Make a deception check. Okay, Dance-ception. Oh, she's going to another rack of dice. Come here. 15.

15, okay. The creature seems confused. Okay, then our work is done. That's right. I thought that. FCG. I'm going to scoot forward, scoot back a little, and be like,

I'm rolling. Yes. Oh. Yes. Told the truth. Then I'll say, Hey, Windy Boy, you're ruining my shot. Can you do that in the back corner, please,

to get the hair of the girls going? I'm going to just point him to the back of the... Oh, the pool boy's here? Is that the line? Not yet. Make a deception check. I'm inclined for disadvantage based on the pun, but no. I also rolled a one.

No! That was it. The creature stands there, looming down upon all of you. You hear the heavy impact of the door jammed against the movable rod that you've placed. Before you begin to hear the sound of some heavy weighted instrument or weapon

The sound of some heavy weighted instrument or weapon is carving through the wooden door false wall. As it's happening, this entity, this creature, just seemed to be standing there, and it just shifts around and is, untrustingly so, just staying nearby. Okay. Okay. Oh god.

It's just placing itself immediately. Immediately in the proximity, large hammer fists that loom off the side of swirling, impacting air. Eventually, the door splinters through and you watch, especially the two of you who are still by the steps unless you want to move. No.

No. We're taking this all the way to the bank. All the way. Commit. As it splinters through and someone pushes by, and you can see the rod is holding itself there, but now the door is broken partially around it and they push past and pull it back in with splinters through and someone pushes by. You can see the rod is holding itself there, but now the door is broken partially around it. They push past and pull it back in with splinters as they yank it backward.

While this is happening, what do you all do? Well, we get more stuff. Is there anything else you want to change? I'm going to wiggle myself to the bottom of the stairs. I'm going to cast Mage Armor on myself. Okay. As you begin to wiggle towards the stairs, the creature puts its windy arm out and prevents you from moving.

No touch, no touch, no touch, no touch! Are you the intimacy coordinator? I just said something. Are you the intimacy coordinator? Yeah. You see both of you are at the top of the steps. As a splinter of the wooden board gets pulled away and torn to the side, you see a figure begin to look through. It looks to be this half-elven, thin man

with the long, thin man with the long, thin hair and the dark crimson and gray robes with the leather armor. Looks by. What's going on down here? What's this? Private party. Can I help you?

He moves past and you see another figure standing behind him that begins to approach. I need an invitation if you're going to come through here. You got one? I don't need an invitation, Ryo. Look, get inside, up against the wall. I've got some questions. Who can I say is calling?

Interested parties as to the owner of this house. Can't let you in here. interested parties as to the owner of this house. Can't let you in here. I'm not going to leave without answers. Well, I'm right here. All right. Zanz, you're there in that transformed form. Are we holding the roll? Still rolling, back to one.

Is he still outside the door? Or is he trying to pass it? There's a slight gap where he's able to squeeze past. He's now standing at the top of the stairs, looking down. The wind's still whipping from inside the chamber outward. The rest of you being held down by this entity, just consuming that center of the entryway there, preventing anyone from leaving without being poked by it.

If you could just wait until the scene is over. I get performance anxiety. Who are you? Why are you here? You can walk or you can fight. I didn't put the rules forward, so that's on you. Whip out Grasping Vine and pull the fucker down the stairs. Okay, so now we are back at the top

of the initiative order, which you are at the top of the initiative order. Okay. So the figure. We're just the porn production company. Oh shit. Yes, that's it, that's the end of it. Hockapie Industries. We're about to diversify.

We could just also be filming a porn while we fight. Oh, a fight porn. The entity is a dexterity saving throw? Yep. Correct. That is not going to succeed. That is a two. We'll check one thing here. We're just close to succeeding.

We were so close. There was just some rough rolls there. I don't, it was a hard sell, but it was possible for something weird. Fails the saving throw and immediately gets pulled down the steps right up into your face. With Seedling waiting. Okay. So go ahead.

So I'll just catch him on the first. Looking for us. That is a... We got this through Film LA. Yes. Come on, D&D Beyond, come on. We have a permit. That is, D&D Beyond is not cooperating.

That's a 20 to hit. 20 to hit does indeed hit. Ah, and I'm going to make that a, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, a trip attack. So they have to make a strength save and beat a 16. No, that is a 13. Okay, so they're going down with this one. It gets pulled towards you, you sweep with the strike

and knock the legs out from under them as they hit onto the steps. All right, so that's 12 damage on that slash. So I yank him down, catch him on the blade, and then kick into his shin to bring him down to face plant on the stairs. And as soon as he's down, he's prone at advantage. Bring it into his, not lethal,

but into the side gut, and that definitely hits. That is a 24. 24, that hits, yeah. Yeah, and we'll make this a... Nope, we'll just make it an attack. So that is, jeez, four plus, that's 10 damage. 10 damage you got. I'm just going to hold.

Maintains concentration. All right, so you just strike twice, knocking them onto the side of the steps. As they roll down, you slash a second time, catching them off guard as they're on the steps and trying to get back to their knee. Does the Grasping Vine, it says until the spell ends,

and it's up to a minute, you can direct the vine. So it's coming out of my shield hand or sword hand? Your sword hand. And I've got it, right? So it's there for a minute? Yes. Okay, thank you. Yeah, now it pulls towards you and then releases. It doesn't restrain or anything. But I still have it, right? But you still have it.

Okay. As long as you maintain concentration. Yep. All right, you stay put? No, I'll bop down the steps by Chetney. Okay. So you go ahead and shift down to the bottom of the steps next to Chetney there? Yep. All right, so with that, Chetney,

you're situated right there, but however, there are two other figures that are pushing through that are next in initiative. One of the figures begins to squeeze through. You see a woman in a similar garb, less robed, more dark red and gray, studded leather armor, half cloak to the back, and two blades that are being drawn

as she deftly squeezes through, rushes down the steps and vaults over the friend of hers, the ally that is now on the ground, and pulling out of the vine, leaps down towards the two of hers, the ally that is now on the ground and pulling out of the vine, leaps down towards the two of you, blades out, and as she lands over here, gets right into the melee range of both of you. Goddamn.

They're not even looking for us. We're going to fight these people. He's going to take two strikes, one with each blade, one towards each of you. One towards each. That is going to be a 25 against you, Chetney? Hits.

For? For sure. Actually, no, sorry. That would be five. 10 points of slashing damage reduced to five. Thank you. Then against you, Orym, a natural 20. Ooh. Okay. That's going to be nine points of slashing damage

rolled shitty on the damage die. Okay. I don't know what's going on here, but it's freaking weird. He looks past the two of you to the rest of the group on the inside by the elemental, and with a confused look on her face, raises a heavy brow and then steals herself.

With that, the next individual is going to go ahead and dart down, squeezing through and is going to hold ahead and dart down, squeezing through and is going to hold the top of the steps right there. It's packed. Mm-hmm. Made a pincer point there. As they rush through, actually, no,

they're going to stay at the top of the steps instead. They squeeze through at the very top point there, pull a heavy crossbow out from behind, and aim downward, and it's going to go ahead and take a volley. Then and fires multiple heavy crossbow bolts. It's going to be in the 10 feet of a point.

So it's going to take a shot at the three of you right there. One against each. One against Orym, Chetney, and you, Imogen. So it's going to be a 12 against you. Okay, that's a minus. Natural one against you, Imogen. Nice. And then a natural 20 against you, Chetney.

Yeah. That's going to be... rolling really bad. That's eight points of piercing damage to you, reduced to four. Thank you. Okay. All right. Just stealing it from behind, the figure on the ground hasn't gone yet,

but is currently in the process of trying to get up. Get up! Okay. Fuck, we're just fighting. Are we doing this? Are we sure we want to fight in a basement? Well, they're fighting us. I mean, what else are we going to do? Well, we could say we've rented the basement.

We don't live here looking for the owners of the house. Yeah, that's my plan. Me too, I'm committing to the bid. We're committing? Committing to the bid? Fully committed. No, no, no. We're not committed yet. It's one attack and a bunch of them.

Okay, so next up in line is Imogen. Not from either. I'm going to... Ah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Are you the owners? We didn't see anybody come in for such a long time. We thought the house was empty. I'm so sorry.

As the bolt into the ground right before you and the figure that entered here, currently pulling the vines off of its body that retract back to the blade that Orym is holding, gets up and starts glancing over in your direction. It's just so hard to find a place to do this kind of stuff, you know? Make a directed deception check

against a non-elemental entity that has some societal context as to what you're referring to. You kept the creature at bay from immediately going aggressive as it was waiting for its associates to arrive, but now you're talking to an intellectual individual. Roll a deception check for me.

Come on. Goddamn it. No, come on! She's laughing because- The dice gods just really didn't want us to do this bit. I'm really good at deception. Okay, so you say this as you rush forward and the figurine sits down and goes,

for a second glances over at this scene and goes, And then this is a very strange and misunderstanding. I didn't. And then sees you with your partially open shirt and looks at you and your arms and your wrists. What are those markings? Take them now! I'm going to bonus action.

Okay. Misty Step. Okay, where are you Misty Stepping? Top of the steps. Top of the steps. Okay. Misty Step. Okay, where are you Misty Stepping? Top of the steps. Top of the steps. Okay. And now we're running. So now, let me get the other belt.

Oh! Are we now running? Are we now running? This continued WizKids combat cam is brought to you by WizKids. Oh! Oh, guys! What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Beautiful.

WizKids.io slash CRMinis, where you can get minis like these. This is the basement. Why is this so big? Oh my god. So with that, you miss D-Step, and you are apparating now. This door is busted open into the kitchen.

Cool. You appear on the opposite side in the kitchen, glancing into the steps that lead below. Okay. This actually has been overturned to onto the ground. Oh, that was the piece of furniture. So that's your bonus action and your action. You still have your movement, if you like.

Okay, I'm going to move and run out the kitchen and hide behind the wall on the other side. Okay, so about 40 guys. We'll put you out there at the top of the steps. It's 5, 15, 20, 25, 30. That's about as far as you can get for the rest of your movement. I can't hide behind the wall.

Unfortunately, no, it gets you just past that point. Okay. That's where you are. All right. All right. And Imogen's turn, that now brings us to Laudna. You watch Imogen just as the leader now has definitely made up their mind as to whether or not this ruse is effective. What are you going to do?

My same partner! And then I transform a dread. That is- Naked Laudna, form of dreads. Ooh. Oh god. Yes. Saggy titties,

falling in the wind. What have you done? That's some Wicked City shit right there, is what that is. And then, as my neck cranes and then my shoulder blades rupture out of my body, I am going to then cast Spider Climb on myself and I'm going to leap onto the ceiling

and Spider Climb out after Imogen. Okay. As you do that, the elemental is going to take a slam attack at you as you leave its attack range. That's not great. That is going to be a... I have a mirror image up. Yep, that's going to be a 10 to hit.

Miss. It goes, and rolled a two. It swings wide as you leap up out of its grasp and they just skitter across. As you head out towards the top, the two other entities see you, who didn't see you, they're at the top of the stairs. The only one that glanced at you

would be the one that got tripped by you, but even then, it was more focusing on you vanishing and looking over its shoulder as you disappeared into the hall behind as it heard your footsteps leave through the kitchen. It looks back just as you skitter across the ceiling. You hear all the municen go, Naaah!

This is a smallish area, so you will be cruising over them. They will get attacks of opportunity as they move past, at least not the one that's on the ground, so the one that's in the robes will not be able to strike you, but the one at the top, or both the other two get one strike at you as you go by.

The one with the two blades that's next to Chetney and Orym is going to strike at you for, that is, 16. Hits, except it doesn't. Mariam makes one down. There's multiples of you now skittering across the ceiling. One of them filters out. The one at the top is holding the crossbow. It's turned, so it can't actually make one because it's still holding the heavy crossbow. It doesn't have its weapon drawn, so it leans out of the way

as you get her passed out into the kitchen. This is why you should support sex workers! That'll put you right here at the top of there, and you are, we'll say you're on the ceiling, so you're about there. Oh god. At the top. All right, that finishes your go.

This got really weird really fast. Oh yeah. Jenny, you're up. Yes, it did. Man. Yes, it did. Yeah. So we're all scattering, right? I guess. I don't know! Getting out of the basement.

At least getting out of the basement. Oh, is there someone else up there? Fuck! What? There's other people! No. Oh, that's a thing. That's a statue. That's a statue. What, right here? Yes. Who's that over there? Fuck! There's other people! No. Oh, that's a thing. That's a statue. What, right here? Yes. Who's that over there?

We don't know. We're not there. Oh, that's Imogen. All right, oh, and that's a statue. All right, good, good, good, good, good. As far as we know, look at this. That's adjudicated. We don't know, we don't know! We don't know, we don't know.

Is there anybody on the ground floor of the basement below the wind monster? I can't see. No, there's nobody near the wind monster that's an enemy in this circumstance. Okay. The three that you can see are pretty much on the stairs or the one that's right by you at the bottom of the stairs.

They're all in this small hallway. It's very cramped and cluttered. Okay, I'll run up to the top of the stairs as a fucking giant werewolf. And is one of them grasped to the ground or just prone? Just prone, getting up. There is one at the top of the steps that is currently blocking the way.

You'll have to try and, in your wolf form, try and make an acrobatics trick to get by. Can I try a shove? Yeah, you can. Can I try and shove him off the top of the stairs down? Yes, you can. Okay. So you run past, up the stairs, leaping over the prone one towards the one that's

currently dropping the crossbow and going for a blade, now that it's seeing the situation within here. The one that has the two blades out now already uses reaction to attack her, so doesn't get an opportunity to attack. As you rush towards, you make a contested athletics check against the one at the top who is pulling his blade out and goes, as you reach out and grab towards it. I get advantage because of hybrid strength. You do indeed. Okay. 17 plus three for 20. Oh, easily.

You grab the front of the armor and goes falling down to the bottom of the steps and is not prone at the base. Amazing. And you, running at this five, 10, 15, 20 feet will get you right up at the top there. Oh my god, everyone's leaving me. Yeah, I'll use the, if that's 20 or 25,

I'll use the rest of the 15 just to go into the kitchen a little bit more and open up the doorway so I'm not clogging up the words. Okay, you got it. You're now in the center of the kitchen. That finishes your turn. It is now the elemental's turn. The elemental, which

is going to dart, stretching itself out, and whips through at an incredible speed. Oh wow. To move 90 feet. Fly speed as it cruises through. Wow. Holy shit. Woo speed as it cruises through. 90? Wow! Holy shit! Woo! That's a blow job. Oh.

80. Shit. What the fuck? It gets about there. Why are you looking for an agent? Now, because it did swoop through the area, shh, Fern, Orym, Chetney, everyone except for FCG gets an attack of opportunity if they want to take it. Oh, cool. All of us?

I'm more of a manager. I'm more of a manager. Those are just regular basic attacks, right? Yeah, unless you have a... 19 for me. Like War Caster. 24 to hit. 24 hits. No, 20 for me, excuse me. Like Warcaster. 24 to hit. 24 hits.

No, 20 from me, excuse me. 20 hits. That's fixed, but I don't have any rights up. That falls. Six. No. Eight points of slashing damage. I guess I'll just, why not?

I'm going to make mine a goading attack, too, so it has to beat a wisdom save. I'm fine. Okay. It's 10 points of slashing damage. 10 points. Excuse me, a whopping. That's okay. 10. No, no, 100%.

It rolls a 15 on its wisdom saving throw. Fail. It fails. Fails, so attacks on anybody else, disadvantage, and it takes 15 points of slashing damage unless it's got the same speed. You got it, okay. So now it off the other side, lands there, taking a couple of hits in the way. Imogen, as you rush into the chamber,

looking over your shoulder, you hear the and the wind picks up and it coasts overhead and this stream of wind reforms into the entity there, as it's going to attempt to slam you twice with its fists. Disadvantage. That's going to be a 21 to hit. Is that disadvantage?

Oh, disadvantage, right. Thank god. All right, so that brings it to 14. I got Mage Armor up. Yay! So now, first of all, this is? Shut up. And a 13. That goading attack is saving you.

Yeah! It's distracted momentarily, looking past you while it swings at you. One would hit you, but that arcane field manages to strike up and push it away in time. No impact actually finding your body. Finishing its turn, the elementalist over here is going to get up.

That's an elemental? Elementalist. Oh, elementalist. He's controlling it. Cool. Angrily gets up and goes, What is even happening down here? Art! Agreed.

Is going to... Physical expression. Let's see. They are going to... Going to step past here. Like stepping over its friends, scoot past its ally to the back wall, looking into this space. Get down this way before they escape!

Bringing its hand forward, it pulls this orb from inside its robe. As it brings it forward, Two-camera shoot! The somewhat cloudy crystal begins to turn a bright blue. As it does, you watch as the air around it begin to immediately form these icicles off the base of it. As it holds it before it spins it,

and then blows into the sphere. A massive blast of freezing energy. It's going to us. Whoa. Out into the chamber. There. I need FCG. FCG, Fearne, and you want them

to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, my shit! There! Ooh, I rolled a one, so I'm rerolling. Much better. What do I do with constitution? Constitution save. I have advantage against spells and other magical effects?

You do have advantage in this, yeah. Thank god. There we go. Oh my god. Not good. 10! 26 points of cold damage. 13? You rolled really bad. 26 points of cold damage. 13? He rolled really bad.

26 points of cold damage. 21. And you take 13 points of cold damage. Okay. As immediately, this is- Are there other effects other than? No, he rolled really bad on damage. Great. He's like, one, one, one, fuck.

So suddenly the entire interior of this room is flash frozen around you. The ground itself is covered in crystalline ice, and there are chunks of moisture in the air that have become rocky protrusions of sharp crystal just around the ceiling and the area within. Your skin goes numb instantly, those of you who have skin. As it retracts, the orb goes,

ah, shit, and shakes it a little bit. That finishes its turn. That brings us to Fearne and FCG. Fearne, you're up first. FCG on deck. Can you do that? That's to be a Kona-Kola piece? It was, yeah. It just rolled really bad for damage.

We're done, we're done. We're done with the bit? I think that's a cut. Okay. We're moving locations. We're moving locations, okay. Hi. Face camera moves. I'm just going to start wiggling,

and I'm going to turn myself into a Clydesdale. A Clydesdale? An interior Clydesdale. That's the best kind. That's a massive animal. How are you going to get out? We'll find out. Well, I mean, it says a war horse, so I'm going to turn into a Clydesdale.

It's turning into a Budweiser commercial. It sure is. Let's go. Just in, maybe. Okay, I'll say for the purposes of this, the closest I have, well, no. This works for your visual presentation. Oh, yes. Yeah. Ice cold brood.

Knocking back the nearby table. Amazing. As you. Ice cold brood. Knocking back the nearby table. Amazing. As you. I'm getting on! Yeah! Oh wait, you're not in here. No. I'm going to take off running.

60 feet. Wait for me! Okay, so you take off running. Yeah. Well. And also, a trampling charge. She looked at you and off-run and went, well, fuck you, though. I mean, she's dumb as a horse. What's it say for a trampling charge?

Trampling charge, if the horse moves at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hits it with his hooves, attack on the, with a hooves attack on the same turn. That target, this is written so weird. There's a period, there's so many typos in this. That target must succeed on a DC 14 strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

Okay, so there are two of them standing right now. There's one that fell to the bottom of the steps after being pulled down by Chetney and it's on its face. There's one standing just over that has two blades out after being pulled down by Chetney and it's on its face. There's one standing just over that has two blades out. It's a female, roguish figure. There's the one that's robed

that just now unleashed this coldness holding the crystal orb in its hand. The only one that you can probably get as you're trying to dart forward the 20 feet to get up to that space is going to be the one with the two blades. So you charge towards it. This is going to be... So wait, is it. So you charge towards it. This is going to be...

So wait, is it an action to transform? Look at that fucking focus. It's an action to transform. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, okay. So technically, you wouldn't have it. It's an action you can magically transform, but if the target is... Oh.

So you have to make an attack, I believe, to do that? Is that true? I think it is very true. So unfortunately. I'm running. I am just taking off like a racehorse. Like a war horse. Like a draft horse. Like, Playa Tales are known for their speed.

Watch that. So here's the thing. This is a very tight space here. As you go charging up the steps, you are pretty much the entire size of this room, and you're not galloping. These are weird stone steps. I don't know if you've seen a horse go up vertical stairs.

It's like. Then you get to the door that's still mostly there, except for the side of it that's been carved through and splintered. I'm just envisioning the Phil Collins here. That's going to be your turn. If you want to, next turn, you can try and burst through the door,

but right now, that's your action, that's your movement, and you're now wedged right in the middle of this whole thing. That's a very small door. I didn't fully think this through. She zazzes in her head. Yeah. I understand what I should have done. I can't get out now.

All right, FCG, it's your go. It's my turn. I'm stuck down here with a bunch of bad guys. There's a big old horse's ass in front of me. Laudna, as you're up on the ceiling, hanging down, you hear, and you look and you see the nose of a horse just shining through the door

for a second before pulling back. They didn't say we'd be working with live animals! All right. I'm also going to do one of those, you know when a horse lifts their tail and they fart? Yeah. It's just like a. I'm going to do that, too. Oh boy.

Why not? Because I'm stressed. There's a free action on that one. Well, I'm stuck in here. So, SCG, what are you doing? All right. Quattro. Bonus action. Quattro. Oh, am I?

I'm more than 30 feet away from Imogen. Yeah. But Orym's still here, but he's not a trusted ally. Right? In fact, I don't even think you are. I got ally, trusted companion. I don't want to think you're. I don't really think you are. I got ally, trusted companion. I don't think you're, I only think they're my trusted companion,

so I couldn't even do that to her. Anyway, I'll give... You bonded to three people, including Orym at the... Oh, I did bond to you? Yeah. Okay, then I will give you a bonded blessing. So you have an extra d6 on something. D6 for something, okay, okay. Okay, that's bonus action.

Oh boy. There's nowhere to go. I will look at the, there's three bad guys in front of me, is that right? There are, yeah. There's two that are standing up that are just directly engaged with the space around Orym. There's one that's currently in the process

of getting back to its place. I will cast a level three command. Okay. On all three of them. Command? I will cast a level three command on all three of them. All right. What do you command them to do? Fat. Oh no.

Oh. You know, I thought about setting the tone in the New Year, Matt. About setting the tone to clear your agenda. I can change it. I can do something else. Players make the creative choices they wish. I'm not going to deny that.

Do you wish to command them to fap? It lasts for a round. Six seconds. Oh, and so does my arms. I don't want to subject our audience to that imagery. Well, I did. Exactly. So I'll change it. I'm going to command them. It's a little heady.

Oh, this one's heady? Command. They have to command other people things. That's their command. You command them to command. Yes, correct. All right. It's a little heavy. The one on the ground that's getting back up.

That is going to be an 18. That succeeds. The one with the two blades out, she rolls a 14. Where did it all go wrong, you guys? We started making our enemies fat. Ah, but she gets advantage on wisdom saving throws, actually.

Oh yeah, so 14? 14. Oh, it's your spell DC? Yeah. 14, so succeed. Damn! Then the one that's the robed figure with the orb. Natural one. Imagine, though, if you'd have just said fat,

then just one of them would have started. Just vigorous masturbation. Vigorous wanking. Just furious. What's the matter with you, Gary? I could go back to that. I could go back to that. Ah! Okay. So two of them shrug off the influence,

while the one with the orb goes, Go forth! I told you to do something now! The Fing, go! Which one was it? The one with the orb? The caster? Yeah, the caster. Does he seem like the leader?

I don't know. So dumb. So that's your action and bonus action. And I guess I'm going to move. Are you moving at all? If I can, I'll get at least to the foot of the stairs, if I can. Can you go under Fearne's legs? I'm going to try to widen my legs. Horse's legs.

Yeah, I'm going to try to widen my legs. With your speed of 30 feet? For what? To let you through. Oh. Through the door. Your speed is 30 feet? Yeah what? To let you through. Oh. Through the door. Your speed is 30 feet? Yeah, I don't think I can even get out of there. You can get to the base of the steps. There's one of them that's not prone

to the top of the steps, but you would be occupying the same space as them, so you can get right to the base of the steps. That's fine. That's your scene there. I feel like I can climb the steps anyway. Oh, what the hell? Top of the combat, Orym. Shit, I can't leave you here?

I can grapple. Fuck! You can grapple. I can get him combat, Orym. Shit, I can't leave you here. I can grapple. Fuck! You can grapple. I can get him out, it's fine. I'll just grapple the back of the horse and I'll ride it. Like an old Western. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to lay into this caster. That's the first thing I'm going to do. All right. He's got the commands, he's out of it. He can't fight back. He can when he wakes up. Is it a he or a she, the caster?

The caster's a he. A he? So the caster's commanding, there's one person down, and the rogue is, or the roguish character that I already attacked is there, right? Correct. I'm going to attack them. Okay, the rogue? Yeah. That is a 17 to hit. 17 for them just hits.

Okay. That is a nine. I'm going to attack again. That is 17 again. Mm-hmm. So that's 10 action surge. All right. I keep going. So I'm just, action surge. All right. Keep going. So I'm just slashing the rogue back against the wall,

just doing some princess bride action. Trying to parry to the side and just barely missing before the blade gets guided into the arm. Next one's a 19 to hit for the third. That hits. That is seven, and then I will... No, I'll just finish off, keep going. That is a 21.

Okay, nice round. That is 10 points of damage. They're up still? Yeah. Damn it. They're looking a little hurt, but they're still up. A little. Shite. And then I'm going to leap Shit.

And then I'm going to leap and use my movement to kick off of their chest and land on the steps. So here, so boom, if I have to. Make an acrobatics check for me. Sure, sure, sure. We work for this guy. That's a one, which I get to reroll. That is a 24.

24, so. Kick off, land on the steps, bait and switch, trade places with FCG, yank them up the stairs. All righty. Give them a head under looking. An additional one to your AC. There you go. Hey, it all helps. And I will stand my ground against this rogue

and the not-fapping caster. You've got it. The not-fapping caster. That should be the name of our movie. A Critical Role Novel. In FC or FCG? Roll! So, finishing your turn, Orym, Roll!

So, finishing your turn, Orym, that brings us to the roguish figure, who, after taking a few slices, just looks at you and the caster next to them is going, Do the thing I said! Go now! Quickly! Before things happen! Do it! You're like, I don't understand what, fine. Looks up after these two switch places, gets a bit confused, and is less concerned

about the immediate combat and more about the rest of them fleeing, and goes ahead and gives you a look, and then darts up the stairs and is going to attempt to flip over you. Flip me over or flip over me? Flip over you. Okay. This is the rogue? This is the rogue.

I'll take an attack of opportunity. Yes, you may. Unless, no, this is brand new, yeah. So that is a shitty roll. That is 13. 13 misses. You swipe over, rolled pretty high acrobatics right as you get pushed up the stairs by Orym.

You're like, great! You look back, landing right in frontrym. You're like, great. You look back. Landing right in front of you is the roguish female. She looks at you for a second and then turns around and keeps running. You get an attack of opportunity. All right. You get an attack of opportunity as well? How is she going to get

through the horse pipe? Hooves? We'll find out. I will buzzsaw her as she goes. Oh, that was crazy. 11-plus things. 75% of a door on the way. Oh wait, it's not, okay. 15 to hit.

15 misses through the air, no impact. Darts up the stairs towards you. You have your hands out. As you look down, you just see the rogue dart towards you. I'm going to kick with my back hoof. up the stairs towards you. You have your hands out. As you look down, you just see the rogue dart towards you. I'm going to kick with my back hoof. Okay, and it's going to attempt to tumble beneath your large Glidesdale legs.

I will say, go ahead and make an athletics check for me. It's going to make an acrobatics check using the horse's strength. So just roll and add your horse's strength. He's a majestic animal. 10. 21. So you kick out with the legs

and you hit air and a bit of the stone of the low sloped ceiling that descends into the stairs as you miss, and right as you bring your legs back down, your head, which has been face downward, follows as it tumbles through the legs out through the middle of the kitchen and has now emerged here to catch up to you, Chetney. Right there.

Oh my god. And is going to strike at you twice. Woof! Doesn't even notice you, because you're up on the ceiling right now. That's going to be two strikes against you. I don't have to do that. Actually, no, That's going to be two strikes against you. Actually, no, it's going to go ahead and, as it lands,

it gives you this keen look over. I need you to make a deception check, please. Oh. Deception check. Yes, it's eyeing you up and down for a moment, gauging. Nine. Nine, and right as you glance back at it, as you're rushing through, it smiles with a wink and goes for a particular strike towards what it sees as a weakness in your defense.

Ooh. Oh. That's a natural 20. Ooh! Silvery bombs. Silvery, okay. Ooh! You can do that on a melee, is that? That is not a natural 20.

That still becomes a 22 to hit, but it does not. So with that. No, no, no, no. It's an 80-20 roll. So strikes you for, oh, there we go. 10 points of slashing damage, hold on. But they get sneak attack on you

because they managed to peek insightfully into your defense. I'm also going to give that advantage to Chetney since he's facing off against this. You got it. Ooh, okay. Thank god you took away the natural 20 on that sneak attack. That would have been ghastly. So that's a total of 28 points of piercing damage to you,

reduced to 14. 14. All right. Reduced to 14? Because you're a werewolf? I'm a werewolf. And they're going to Action Surge. Gosh. And strike you twice.

You're like a fighter rogue? A fighter rogue. Yep. An Action Surge rogue? Next attack roll ability check. Enemies can multiclass, too. No, they can't. That is a really smart idea. Pretty sure that's not allowed.

Tag attack, but it's not a smitten attack. The first strike, however, is only 12 to hit. Misses. The second one is going to is only 12 to hit. Misses. The second one is going to be a 16 to hit. Misses! Now you've got that one little bit of your defense. The blade got through to a pretty tight bit, and then now that that's there,

you're at the ready now, no longer in the moment fleeing, and then it should just claw the blades to the side, nothing quite finding purchase on your flesh. Ouch! That's going to finish their go. Then now it's going to be this guy who's going to get up for half his movement onto the ground, draws the blade free,

and is going to glance over to the caster and go, I'm not sure you're asking, but they're running! I'll try and stop them! Do the thing! Do it now! Lifts its shield back up off the ground that had tumbled and is going to draw its longsword out and is going to take two strikes at you, FCG, from behind.

But I'm just a sweet little cinematographer. That's going to be 13 to hit. It does not hit. The second strike is's going to be 13 to hit. It does not hit. The second strike is going to be a 20 to hit. That does hit. All right, second strike does hit you four. Shitty rolls. Eight points of slashing damage. Great.

And it's going to use the Hordebreaker ability to make a different attack within five feet of the original target, which is you. So it's going to make one Hordebreaker ability to make a different attack within five feet of the original target, which is you. So he's going to make one strike misses, one hits you, and then takes the shield back to push you back and then try and strike throw to you for, oh, that's going to be a 24 to hit. That definitely hits.

You take 11 points of slashing damage. Okay. Finishing their turn, as they're just going to have their movements up there, I'll say, now you've already taken attacks of opportunity, so it's going to attempt to push past you, FCG, with an acrobatics check as well,

which it rolls pretty dang high. Do you want to make an athletics check to try and push it to bay? I can do that? I'm going to contest it as it tries to roll past you, or tries to push past you in this small, tight space. Sure, I'll try to grapple it back. Or just make an athletics check

to see if you can muscle it from moving past you. Sure. 13 plus anything? Plus your strength or athletic skill. 14. 14, okay. It's still not quite enough. It can't move too far, because half of its movement, it lost trying to get up,

but it does push 10 feet past you up to the stairs and is now shield in front, blade out at the ready, and is now trying to occupy as much of the space. But as it moves up and turns around, it hears the and looks over at your shoulder, and hadn't noticed until this point, in the middle of the focus,

the horse that is back of its legs are about five feet from its shoulders. Just queefing. No! Imogen, you're up with Laudna on deck. Oh god. It's a mighty steed. Okay.

I'm going to look at the giant thing in front of me and glance back at the baddie that just came running up the stairs. And I'm going to put my hands up to my head and close my eyes and then shoot my hands out and I'm going to psychic glance both of them with Twin Spell. Both? With Twin Spell, all right.

Guys, this went tits out and then it went tits out. So that is one, two, three, four used, and then Intelligent Saving Throw, right? Intelligent Saving Throw, correct. All right, so the elemental has a natural 20 on its wisdom save for the elemental, but for the other figure, that is going to be, this is intelligence, not wisdom.

So it does not get advantage on its wisdom saving throw. Oh, good. So that rolled a natural five, it fails. Okay, great. The rogue takes the full damage. And then the wind thing got a natural 20 on the intelligence saving throw? Okay. So it takes half damage by blue, right?

Yes, it does half damage and it is not incapacitated, but the rogue is incapacitated. Until the end of your next turn, right? Yes. So that is 7d6. One, two, three, four, five. 7d6? So the rogue itself suddenly grasps the sides of its head

and like,. The blade's tingled to the ground right below and it begins to reach for them to try and make sure it gets them back within its grasp, but its eyes are full-tightly closed. That's a really shitty roll. 19 damage. 19 damage to the roguish figure.

The worst. Four ones. Nine damage to the elemental. What is going on? 20, 23. This is going to be great. Okay. But that rogue is incapacitated until the end of your next turn. That's something.

That's great. All righty, so that being the case, is that the rest of your turn? You want to stay put, or do you want to try and move? I don't want to be in a line, so I'm going to move over to the side, at least of this door. Or if I move, he's going to move over to the side, at least, of this door. Or if I move, he's going to take a swipe at me.

You can move too far from him. Yeah, I'll do that. Okay, so move over to that side. You're stepping onto the now busted door. It's stuck into that weird tar-like substance that that first trap set off is still congealed on the floor. That's not good. All right, that finishes your turn.

Laudna, you're up with Chetney on deck. I reach down and I grab my immovable rod. Okay. Is that a free action? Can I just reach down and grab it real quick? It's still in the door. They just cut through the edge, so you can reach down and grab it. So yeah, I mean, is activating it and pulling it out,

I'd say that'd be your action to do so if you want to grab it now. Because you have to climb through, grab, So yeah, I mean, is activating it and pulling it out, I'd say that'd be your action to do so if you want to grab it now. Because you have to climb through, grab, hit the button, pull it back, and then withdraw. I'll do that because we're running. I'll grab it and I'm going to Quicken a spell and I'm going to do Bane on all of them.

The three, the two dudes, the two. Okay, so you're casting this while standing at the hole in the door so you have eye line to all of them, right? Yes. And the wind. And the wind. So which one? So these two and the wind,

you're leaving the rogue alone or the rogue as well? Oh, right, oh. Because Bane has only three targets. There's four targets. But I can also cast it at a higher level, right? And get another one? If you want to. Yeah. I cast Bane! I three targets. There's four targets. But I can also cast it at a higher level, right? And get another one? If you want to. Yeah. I'll do all of them.

All right. Second-level Bane. Oh god. Yes! Oh god. Oh! Burdurn! And a burdurn. Some gravity has betrayed you.

There we go. Then I'm going to keep spider climbing. No, spider climbing falls from casting Bane. So I drop and run. You land onto the ground. Yep. This area now is pretty cluttered right here. While they are incapacitated,

they're still holding the space. You'd have to get up and over the stove area to get past where Chetney is, which is just an acrobatics check, if you want to take it. Sure, sure. Sorry, excuse me. Excuse me, coming through. It's not a high DC.

Oh, really? Really? Well, it's not. 10 is what you have to get minimum. Five! Okay. So you can't really get past. You try and, in all this chaos, you cast the spell and turn around

and the rogue is flailing. They're screaming and clutching their face. They're grabbing a blade and they're just swinging around wildly around them. In doing so, you're like, ah, this is a bit dangerous. You can't quite get past and you're stuck in that spot at the moment.

So you can't, unfortunately, move through that space. Tight areas. Yes, yes, yes. All right. Is that a finished turn? Yes. Okay. Now it is Chetney's go. That's the episode title, guys.

Tight spots. Tight areas. Tight areas. Tight, tight, tight. I'll reach back and pull out Turmoil and Whisper, or not whisper, and it extends into the scythe. Ooh, cool. I'll drag it up.

I'll drag it up me cough. And you see ice, no, no, I'm sorry, fire come off of the sickle with non-bonding action. And that hurts me. Three points. Ooh, that's a one. Okay. And I'll take my first attack against the rogue

in the kitchen with me. Okay, the rogue is incapacitated, which I believe gives you advantage on the attack rolls. Oh, and sneak attacks, right? Technically, yeah. Okay. As long as you have advantage. I'll double check real fast. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's passed it.

He does. All right, let me take just a moment here. No, no, no, take your time, my love. Take your time. Pass it. No, actually, it's just a regular attack. Regular attack. You just can't take his time. Pass it. No, actually, it's just a regular attack. Regular attack. You just can't take actions or reactions.

Got it. It can still move on its turn. Well, that's good. That's 26 for the first one. That hits, yeah. Second one is 17. 17 hits. Nice. Something just hits.

First one is, oh! Double one. That's a lot of youth. Five. Five. Eight. Seven. It does 15 points of damage. Seven of that is thunder damage as it hits.

Okay. And the second one is, that's better. 12 plus 15. 15 plus six, 21 points of damage. Six of that is thunder. 21 points of damage. Oh, they are looking real rough. That's on the roguish?

That's on the roguish one, yeah. You strike twice. Oh, sneak attack. Yeah, sneak attack. Four points. Additional four damage. And five, so five total. Sorry, there was an additional sneak attack damage on this one because you didn't have an ally.

Well, no, actually, you do with you and Millie, yeah. So you do. Nice. Yeah. On both or just the first one? Just the one, you only get sneak attack damage. So just the one. There's no four. Okay. Okay. Oh my god.

Why? Are they fully propelloring? So you strike twice so that blood across the walls on each side of the Kiri kitchen, the stone has this crimson span on each side, and the rogue is still clutching the side of her head, eyes partially open, looks up at you,

see blood crunching out of the corner of her mouth, eyes going open, looks up at you, see blood crunch looking out the corner of her mouth, eyes going wide, looking around, and you see that panic, that look of, I got to get out of here. All right, that finishes your turn, Chetney, you want to move or stay put? I'm going to stay put. Okay.

Finishing your go, it is now the air elemental's turn. The air elemental. The air elemental. The air elemental. Shifts over and now occupies the broken open doorway of the front of the chamber. As it does, it's going to go ahead and go into a multi-attack against you,

as you're the one that's currently closest to it. Yeah, dude. It watches its arms pull into its body and it turns into this large tornado torrent and both of its arms begin to extrude from the sides like a spinning blast of hammers. It's baned. It is baned, yeah.

It rolled pretty well, but with that still set. It's a 23 to hit. You still have it for a minute. But yes. That's going to be a 19 to hit. You still have it for a minute. And that's going to be a 19 to hit. Okay, so both hit you. The first hit slams you heavily in the side of your shoulder and head

as you try and prepare for the impact. For 14 points of bludgeoning damage. Crack! The other 20 points of bludgeoning damage. Crack! The other, 20 points of bludgeoning damage. Big damage. You feel like you just got hit by

what you imagine eventually a freight train would be if it would be invented in Exandria. Like you were sideslammed by a Clydesdale. Mm-hmm. Wow. That's happened and it didn't feel good. Mm-mm. It's happening, it didn't feel good. Mm-mm. It's just sitting there in the space, looming large, its torso puffing up.

It's occupying as much space as possible to try and create a blockade in this area. That's going to finish its turn as it stands there, and with that, the Elementalist is going to go. The Elementalist, it doesn't take an action, it's just commanding, Keep on doing it! Great job!

Go after the thing! Whatever I said, do it now! And is going to go ahead and run to try and catch up. And is going to try and push past you after the rest of his party is just now abandoning this chamber. Make him make another athletics check

to try and keep it at bay, if you'd like. Get back here, you! That's a 16. 16, it can't get past you. Yeah! You hold it back at this point, and it's like, Ah! Now, come on! Keep going!

Don't stop! You're doing great. I told you! Now! You can see now this muttering of frustration, and then all of a sudden, the spell finally fades. This spindly, thin, handlebar, stonewall facial hair, now close up. It's thin and patchy, and this figure is not your favorite,

you've encountered this close up. Oh boy. But I'm going to say that they spend their action finishing the commands. Amazing. So that's going to finish their they spent their action finishing the commands. Amazing. So that's going to finish their turn. No, because that was their action. They'd have a bonus action still. They can Misty Step.

Counterspell. I don't have it. I was like, I don't have it. I don't have Counterspell. So with that, it, you know what? I'm going to make a perception check

because it has to look past a Clydesdale. Nice. So with that, it, you know what? I'm going to make a perception check because it has to look past a Clydesdale. Nice. Actually, no, okay, okay. So it does. In the Clydesdale. Up onto this barrel here. Oh no! Like, oh god!

And appears, lands sitting on a barrel right next to you. You're there, the rogue is right there. There's the horse face pushing through the door, and in the middle of it is this werewolf with a giant flaming face. The mage goes, What the fuck is going on?

Who are you? That's their turn. With that, Fearne, you're up with FCG on deck. All right, I'm going to try to get through the door. Okay. There's no way I can just walk through? Well, you took the rod. The rod's gone. The rod's gone. You can if you want to.

So you nuzzle the door and the door it's now opening, the rod has been removed. It is a very crowded area. There's about five, 10 feet behind you for the person who's to your back. I'm going to fly through the door and just fucking run. Okay. There isn't a lot of room here to do this.

Like almost none, because the person's behind you. You can try and kick them down the stairs to give yourself more room, or you can just try and push. Yeah, I'll do one of those where both back legs go up. Boom! All right, go ahead and make an athletics check. As your back slams into the doorframe. Ow!

Ow! Big bruise on the back. Okay. What am I doing again? This is an athletics check, so roll a d20, add the strength or athletics of your horse form. Okay. Roll for horse form.

Roll for horse form. Okay. I'm doing mine. No. No. The strength of your horse, which is much better than... 10. 10? Their athletics roll was an eight. So the shield's still up.

You don't do any damage. They pull the shield up, seeing the legs, and go, oh shit! Put the shield up. Boom! The back of their helmet scrapes the back of the stone. It's like, tumble back. You, FCG, watch them tumble in your direction.

I like to make a dexterity saving throw. Is this us? 12 plus nothing. Nah. They tumble into you. Both you and this entity fall back to the bottom of the stairs, interlock prone. This is a clusterfuck.

Yeah. It would have made it, but the bane removed a d4 from its save. Nice, nice. Nice. So now, what's the speed of your horse? 60 feet. 60 feet, you can back up 15, 20 feet, and then go into a full charge towards the door.

You come blasting through the door. Be-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. Boom! He comes blasting through the door, slams open. That's everybody. Everyone in the middle of the kitchen goes, like they're in the middle of the chaos, and they just hear up the stairs as it's clomping as fast as it can. The door slams open.

The mage, the rogue, you, Laudna, are all going to have to make dexterity saving throws. Am I just far enough away? I don't have to? Mage fails, mage is knocked prone. All right. The rogue succeeds, manages to barely dodge out of the way.

Rogue shit. And what'd you get, Laudna? 18. 18. You managed to move out of the way. So the ma And what'd you get, Laudna? 18. 18. You manage to move out of the way. So the mage is not just not prone, but is probably thrown back. And is stuck now up into the kitchen area. What? Hot soup?

Does it drop its sphere? Hmm? Does it drop its sphere? No, the sphere was placed within a satchel that it keeps in the side for it. But it is up and jammed onto the cabinets in the top of the counter and is prone. Everyone else is okay, and you can try and rush through. How far can I? I'm just booking it.

You're just booking it. So that was just the door opening. So you go ahead and roll a strength check with the horse again. There's a lot going on here and you're pushing through a very tight space. This is challenging. Tight spaces. It's possible. Awesome.

Okay, that is 22. 22, okay. Laudna, are you going prone intentionally to let her go by? Can I just? I need to go prone? To let her go by? Can I just? Do I need to go prone? To let her go by, you will need to. This is a big horse. Can you hop on?

Can I hop on? If you had held your action to do so, I would have allowed it, but unfortunately right now, this is all happening so fast, you're like, this is all reactionary. Fuck that horse. So. Fuck the horse. What?

I said take it like it's yours. If you just let yourself go prone, she can go back. All right, I'll go. I'll go prone. We need to get the fuck out of here. Are you going prone to let her go by? No.

Clydesdale runs her kitchen. Okay. Small kitchen. Kitchenette. Listen, there are some things you just don't count out. That's 19. Wait, does she move a little forward a bit? The rogue does manage to shift over this way,

out of the side, quickly dodging out of the way to not be in the charging space of this. You need to go ahead and make an athletics check with advantage to try and contest the horse. Happy 2023, you guys. This is so weird. 24. 24. 24.

You're rushing through. Laudna goes prone to let you run over. The mage gets knocked deeper into the kitchen. Hit point what? With that, you dart forward and Chetney, how do you stop the horse? Do I stop it or do I just get knocked aside by it? Well, no, because you rolled a total of a 22.

You rolled a 23. Punch the face. Punch the horse face. So you are resisting the horse now. How do you want to shoot it? Yeah, it comes up. It comes running for it and I just. What? Headbutt the horse. There's a heavy sound of cracking stone on stone,

bone on bone, this heavy, sickening impact. Immediately, you see this werewolf and this Clydesdale just dazed in the middle of the kitchen. Like both of our heads went in, asses came up a little bit. Yeah, and then it came right back down. So that does finish your movement,

but you are now in the kitchen, standing over a prone Laudna. Laudna, you are on the ground with a horse who is around you as you're dodging out of the way. It's just like a horse. So that's my move pick. Well, move it in action,

because you knocked the guy back to get the running space. So if there is a target that is knocked prone, The fan artist everywhere. the horse can make another attack with its hooves against as a bonus action. I don't care. That's true.

So you can make an attack against the mage if you want. Yes. I'll say that you can spin around and kick towards the mage as he's climbing off of the cabinet. Just going to start doing that thing that horses just kick their back legs and just going crazy in the kitchen.

Just smashing everything around. All right, roll an attack with advantage because it is prone. Have you seen the end of Suspiria? What the fuck is this? Smashing everything around. All right, roll an attack with advantage because it is prone. Have you seen the Suspiria? How the fuck is this? Water's thirst. Oh yes.

Okay, let me see. Water's thirst. Coughed again. Coughed a fucking again. Okay, the other one was better. That is 25. 25 definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage for your trample damage.

26 plus both. All right. 12. 12 points of damage, yeah. Okay. Maintains concentration. It doesn't maintain concentration, but it takes a heavy kick to the back of the shoulders

and the arms popped out of the socket. And so they're going like, as they're standing on top of the cabinet, just barely getting up onto one knee. Shit. Ah! Oh god. All right, that finishes your turn, I believe.

Yes. So furring the horse is still the bottleneck in front of the door? Yes. Now it's kicking. Now it's kicking wildly. FCG are up with Orym on deck. We are. Downstairs.

Oh! The last three rounds, I was imagining going out that door. Hey, hey! Downstairs is me, Orym, and one dude? Yes. And the dude is on top of me? Pretty much. They're both on the ground.

Shield is leaned onto you. You're both prone. You can use half your movement to get up. Oh, I don't have to pry him off of me or anything? No, no, no. Oh. Is he looking rough? He actually hasn't taken any damage yet. He's just been piece of the cake.

SAM and LAURA, LAURA, and SAM, and SAM, and SAM, and SAM. Okay. What?! Fourth level. Yeah! Get off of me! Get off of me! Wisdom save? Yes. A charisma save.

A charisma save. 14. Oh, even better. Oh no, that's an 11. Get off of me! As you push him off, he goes like, 14. Oh, even better. Oh no, that's an 11. Oh! I'm all in! You push him off, he goes like, and it's just gone. You hear this faint sucking sound.

Do I choose? Don't you choose? No, it sends it to the Astral. It sends them to their, I'll double check again. Of origin, unless you're in their dimension. I would assume he's in his origins. It's native to the planet, but since you're on your bench target to a harmless demi-plane, so they just vanish their dimension. I would assume. He's in his origins. It's native to the plane of existence.

You're on your bench target to a harmless demi-plane. So they just vanish. Harmless demi-plane. But if they're from another plane, then they get sent back to their round of life. And then they can't come back. Otherwise, he comes back within a minute. Okay. Right.

So he has this little confusion on the face and it's like, sound and they're just gone. I will get up, see the bucking bronco at the top of the stairs. Clydesdale? Sorry. Get a treasure chest. I don't mean to misgender.

Miss Spears? You're about to die. Miss Breeze? Miss Breeze? There you go. You are concentrating on the banishment. I sure am. What's your point? I don't want to go up them stairs, Orym! There's a horse up there!

You hear the splintering of wood, the falling of metal pans. Is there a banister? Is this to code? Yeah. Damn it. It's to code. I will try to use the rest of my movement to hop up a few of the stairs to get a little closer.

Okay. And... I think you're about there. I'm not through that threshold yet. Can I see anything through the doorway? Anyone that I recognize? Oh yeah, the door is splintered. It's like bits of it are hanging

from the area where it's affixed to the ceiling there. You can see on the ground, a partially nude Laudna is rolling around trying to avoid the clomping of hooves as this horse is just kicking and destroying the kitchen. That's about all you can see. You see, just beyond that, occasionally, you see one of the aggressive mages sitting there going,

to their arm out of the socket. Maybe our Roneo bucking Bronco in the kitchen. I can't remember, Matthew. Still my former friend, too. I don't think that I am super close with her yet, right? I'm only just barely friends with her. Emotionally? Emotionally? I think so.

I will say, through the journey of bringing her back to life, I will say, since I didn't clarify at the time, this would make her more of a trusted. Yes! All right, I'll give you one of them d6s again. Yeah. All right. I'll give you one of them d6s. I would say that the process of going into

that whole ordeal to bring her back is definitely a bonding experience. That's my move. And also. Just take a note of what your status is for you. Oh yeah, no. I'm starting to get the jitters a little bit. Oh.

Oh, really? Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Oh, okay. This is wigging me out, guys. I don't like this. Oh boy. Do you say that out loud to us?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Use the mood board. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think I'm crossing into the red. I want that to exist inside a panel, FCG. If you just open it up and just go, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Have it installed.

All right, that finish your turn? Yep. All right, Orym, you're up. Okay, here's what I'd like to try to do. He watches FCG bump up the stairs after the dude vanished, says, man, if we survive this long, I know the gods are watching, and I'll use a bonus action to shoot Grasping Vine

into the doorjamb above Letter's head, and Spider-Man yank myself up through the air, and just free fall underneath the Clydesdales' legs. I can run under people's legs, so she's larger. Indeed. I'm going to roll, roll, roll under the people's legs, so she's larger. Indeed. And I'm going to roll, roll, roll under the horse's legs, hopefully not get trampled, under the rogue's leg,

and then swing around to deal with the rogue. Okay, so go ahead and roll an athletics check to try and get through all that. Athletics or not acrobatics? Sorry, acrobatics. 16. 16. She's still kicking at 22,

so you do not beat her, unfortunately. So you try and go and dart through, and the way that she's thrashing, it's just, it's too much. You're getting battered around a bit as you try and rush through and kick back. The shield is keeping you from taking any hits, but this area is too chaotic for even you

to try and tumble through. It's also tornado, give her a hand, Vos! Do I take damage but get through, or don't get through? You don't get through. It's also Tornado, give her half a vote! Do I take damage but get through or don't get through? You don't get through. Because the rules for halflings, they can go under creatures larger than themselves. Actually, let me double check. This is more of a specific racial thing.

I haven't had a halfling here, so let me double check. I've been running under the ladies' legs all campaign. Right, right. It's also for allies and chaos there. Let me go ahead and just double check what that is. This is going well. Features and truths. This is going, this is going.

This massive map, and we've been on two, four inches. You moved to the space building, which is a size difference. You know what, yeah, no, it is an actual racial ability. So yeah, no, you don't even have to roll for this. Anybody else will have to push through, but you just dart through, push around the space here with the rest of your movement. That does get you up on the side of the table there.

Somehow underneath me while just thrashing? Yep. Yeah. Just. Kind of leap over Laudna underneath the horse, then tumbling through the legs of the rogue and then manage to get out the opposite side. You'd be right next to Chetney, essentially. Okay, and then I swing around low

and slice at the rogue's ankle and try to bring her down with a trip attack. Okay, you got it. Trip attack. That is a 20 to hit. That hits. And it's a 16 to beat strength. 16 to beat strength?

No, natural two. Down, okay, so... 11 plus... I'll know she's... 16 points of damage for the first hit. How do you want to do this? Oh yeah! There we go.

There we go. Okay, so... Your choice, if it's, you know, flies with any hit, you want to do this? No, I'll slide under the horse's legs, under her legs, come around, whap, to bring her down, just to fap to bring her down.

And then bring up the pommel of seedling to bring it down to knock her out and then hold, seeing that she's out. On the ground, just out cold. Yeah. Your production is shut down. Yes. It's been 20.

And if you'll per, where am I? I'm on the... You are right here next to it. You move through everybody on the opposite side and just whack, with the momentum, knocked the rogue completely cold. And I have five or 10 movement left probably, and I will run towards the front room.

Okay. Down there. Money shot. Yeah, 10, 15, 25, 30. Yeah, that gets you right there. Okay, that finishes your go, Orym? Yes. Oh no. All righty.

It is now the mages go, pop! Ah! Ah! Ah! Like screams, tumbles off of the side. Onto the ground between you, Orym, and Chetney, and goes like, ah!

Notices this fencer. Shit! Looks over and sees the rogue on the ground. Shit! We have to go! Go! I'm doing actual command this time! And what can I do here?

I don't remember. They're in a tight spot. Damn. Tight spot. Where are we from again? Oberoth or Arthas. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they're going to do what they can. Take a chance.

I am a Thapperdam. Still holding their arm, they pull back and take the orb out from inside the satchel, the other arm hanging limply there and like, . As they put the orb forward, previously you saw that dull blue glow. It becomes a bright, vibrant glow,

and energy arcs around the bulb before outward a bolt of lightning. No! Hits Chetney, hits the Clydesdale, and hits you, Laudna, and you, because you're right at the top. I need all of you to make dexterity saving throws. Shit.

This is the air elemental. No, this is the orb that the mage is holding. Is it one? The orb. The... Does one harm? I got a natural 20. Oh! Okay. Well.

Balance? Balance. That is an insane lightning bolt roll. So, what was that? 20 for me, one for her. Yep. Okay, so that's going to be 38 points of lightning damage to you, Laudna.

Do I, what did you say? 38 points of lightning damage. Hang on, hang on. Does my mirror image work on this one? No, this is a spell, it's not an attack. Okay, okay. Each time a creature targets you with an attack. Okay.

32? 38. Wowzers. Yeah. Wow. And so, let me see. Itzers. Yeah. Wow. And so, let me see. It would be 19, yeah. So 19 points of lightning damage to you.

F-C-D. I rolled a... Am I taking my dex or? Horses' dex. Horses' dex. The physical. That is 16. 38 points of lightning damage. Okay, Horses gone. Because if I go under, then I'm...

Correct. You go under and then you take the horsey. 16 was exactly the DC, so you take half that. I'm sorry. So you take 19. No, uh... Yeah, it was 19. 19 is half of 38. It was 38, okay. So 19 is the horse. So you're back at full hot, or gaboosh.

You're full advantage. You don't take any additional damage on top of that, but you're now standing in the middle of the kitchen. Still make it. Still make it. Oh jeez. 17 points. Over Laudna. You take 19 points of damage. Roll them in.

I'm just rolling. Dang. Can't un-step on me. and goes, Roll them in. Roll them in. Can't un-step on me. Can't un-step on me. And for half of their movement, they're like, with the orb still there, because you're small, and they're looking desperate. They're going to turn and run towards the step,

and it's going to try and leap through the window. Nice. Attack of opportunity. Yeah, and I'll make it a trip attack. Go for it. You go first. They want to crash into the window? They're jumping towards the window.

I did not know there was a window in the kitchen. Yep. Well, then you got to have some nice fresh air and some nice natural light. And that is, oh, it's not a good roll. That's a five plus. You have a plus six you can always use. 14, yeah, I'm going to use it.

Should've used it before. That's a 16 total. 16, the armor cost is 17. Oh! Miss. Sorry. Oh! You go wide. 23. 23 does hit.

Nine plus four is 13. 13 plus three is 16. 16 plus four is 20. 20 points, four of which is thunder damage. Nice, that's a heavy hit. As they leap through the air, putting their foot up onto the side of the table, you strike the back, cutting through part of the robe.

You can immediately see there's fresh blood on the blade. As they tumble forward, they were going for a heavy push and shoulder shove, but now they're just falling into the window now. Just. End up going through, onto the ground. The glass shatters, and they're now outside an alleyway, prone on the ground.

And no, they maintain concentration with the natural 19. Wow. It's. Air lumen? Ah! Ah! You just hear a voice. It's just the shattered window.

What do we hear? What is the concentration for? Do we know? You don't know. But that's going to finish their turn. With that, that brings us to the guy who's vanished and gone. He's somewhere. Is that the side of the house?

Is that the alley in between the houses or the main street? This is the alleyway between the houses. Okay. So finishing that go, Imogen, you're up with Laudna on deck. Sorry about that. I don't even know what to start, That's it.

What you got, Imogen? Hmm. All right. He's really big and strong, isn't he? Could be. Might have had a win. Certainly hitting you hard. Ah! Ah, fuck it. I'm going to reach my hands up

and put my hands into him and say, You don't control me. I am the storm. And I'm going to inflict wounds into his body. Oh shit, okay. Holy dang. That is awesome. All righty. Time for your storm.

Fourth-level inflict wounds on a wind creature. I don't know if that works. Go for it. All right, so go ahead and roll an attack. Does it even work on a wind creature? We'll find out. That's a 23 to hit. So out of curiosity, the Flick the Wounds is from? That is from Shadow Touched.

So I don't know exactly where this power is coming from. I think it's just the damage there. Well, first off, so the... Oh no, you can cast this. Oh yeah, you're good, fourth level. Let's do it. You can cast it using your own spell slots. That's awesome. All right, so what was the roll for that total?

23. 23? Yeah, definitely is. So that is 6d10. 6d10 necrotic damage. Come on. Oh, because you've got a bigger spell slot. Holy shit. Yeah, if you don't have spell slots,

it just is a base level, first level. One, two, three, four, five. Not at all. I don't know what I'm doing. No, no, that's fine. level, first level. One, two, three, four, five. Not at all. Is it wrong, man? No, no, that's fine. Woman knows her role. Okay. 13, 14, 17,

18, and... Oh, while you were gone, we went back to doing the porn thing. Okay. Yeah. Wait, sorry. 10, 18 you were gone, we went back to doing the porn thing. Okay. Yeah. Wait, sorry. 10, 18, yes. Imogen's upside down with the wind element. 26 points.

26 points, okay. And... That didn't, does he look, how does he look? As you release this burst of necrotic energy into the body, the wind fluctuates for a second, and the form, you watch as burst of necrotic energy into the body, the wind fluctuates for a second. In the form, you watch as some of the things that are inside of its body suddenly drop, almost like the intensity of the wind

for a moment begins to fade. And you watch bits of stone, papers, books, a small spider go. Oh, he's gone now? Yeah, he's got ejected from the body. Fuck, I was going to do something with him! Okay, okay. As it happens, my eyes. Just on the side next to it.

I start to struggle a little bit and my eyes are going to flash red. I'm going to pump two more Yates of psychic damage into him. What? Two more what? You're going to do what? Pump two more what?

Nine more points of psychic damage into it. Oh, we're talking about this later. You can't give a little look like that. Two more yeets? Yeets? Yeets. Yeet that's psychic damage. Does she have a yeet power? Yeet, yeet.

So that pulse of energy hits and you see it's looking, as far as an air elemental itself looks, you can see it's now looking like it's been knocked around a bit. Fafnir Deet. All righty. Leave.

You're still holding it in space there. You're both standing off, both looking battered, so it's not feeling the need to run yet. All right. Does that finish your turn, Imogen? You want to stay put? It does. I don't want it to hit me. Yes, I'm going to stay right where I am. Okay. Laudna, you're up.

Oh! You're back. Ah! So you get back up. All right. I'm thinking about it, but I'm also worried about her. I'm up, and can I position myself to where I can see the elemental?

Oh god. You can if you'd like to, you can move past your friends here. 25, there you can see the elemental. That's good. Oh, this is a good idea. Pettay, back in the elemental! Milispeda goes.

Like Charlotte's webs, like. Picked up back into the wind, creates a little web parachute. Yeah! Newtation! What? Very fucking terrific. Newtation.

Just cop back up inside of it and? All right, I'm going to cast Through Him. Okay. Shock and Grasp. Yes! Just a touch spell. All righty. So go ahead and roll for an attack. I can add this. I can add this?

To an attack, I believe so, yes. Is it just play, but then my hands are still in his body? Until you roll. I'm not going to. See, am I getting shocked, too, in this process? Can I add it after I know? You can say as you watch the energy, you can pull it out. Do we know if 18 hits this thing?

That seems like it would. I feel like it would. I don't remember. I don't remember. 18? Does 18 hit? I don't know. I don't want to. All right, that definitely hits. That's 16 plus seven.

Definitely hits. You can go ahead and roll damage for the shock and grasp. Okay. Choose 2d what? 2d8. 2d8. Okay, 10 damage. 10 lightning damage.

10 damage, good. You see this, you, up close now, looking at this windy form around it, you watch this slight shadow glow. As this tiny spider goes, puts its legs out, and there comes this dark shadow outline of a spider before, this energy bursts from within, and the elemental.

Whoa! It's starting to just, you see the elements at the outside of its body, the wind starting to drift off and hit sideways things. It's having a hard time keeping itself together. All right, that's your action and your movement. I don't think I can do, also, I hit it.

It has to make a wisdom saving throw. I would be able to go this far, actually, given your movement. It does. It has to make a wisdom saving throw or be afraid of me. No, that is definitely a failure. Yes, it doesn't give us a way. It's afraid of, it can't get closer to me. And while she's in eyesight to it,

it attacks her at disadvantage. Okay, well, that's good. That's good. So you shock it and it looks in your direction. Them titties. Does that finish your turn? I guess so. Okay, now it brings us to Chetney's go.

The guy that dove through the window, I'll walk up to the window and just stick my head out. Is it very busy outside? Can I go up on the steps? At the moment, no. You don't, at the moment, see anybody at the other edge of the alleyway. You just see the person on the ground like,

Ah! I'll through the window. Yeah. And I will just take two swipes at him while he's proned out. You got it. Advantage on both. Which means sneak attack on both as well, right?

Yep, for the first one. Okay. Or whatever attack hits. Great. Oh, why wasn't I wearing the fucking butcher's bib? Beer. The butcher's beer! The butcher's beer. That's going to, I'm sorry, 19's bib. Beer bib. The butcher's beer. The butcher's beer. That's going to, I'm sorry, 19 plus eight is a 27.

That definitely hits. Amazing, that is nine plus four is 13. 13 plus three is 16 plus, 16 plus two, 18 plus sneak attack, 21 points of damage. 21 points of damage. Oh! On the second one. That is a 25 to hit.

Definitely hits. That's four plus four is eight. Eight for thunder is 11, plus three. 14. Sneak attack, one. 14, 14 points of damage. How do you want to do that?

Ah! He jumps over to the side and says, Hold still. And on the second one, I just stick it in his back and do the He's like,. Then I pick him up, I look around and go, and throw him back in through the window.

Oh my god! So there's a moment where he watches Chet and he leaps out. Oh god! Onto the ground. Is he dead? I mean. He's unconscious. Okay.

Very, very much on death's door, no longer in the fray. There wasn't. He's bleeding out. That one will bleed out. Very much bleeding out very quickly. He is just when unconscious, but this guy's bleeding out. That was the mage. The mage concentration is not kept on that.

I don't like to see people die. The elemental, who previously is now holding itself together, gets this wild look in its eyes. Previously, it had this focused element, and now it's just out of control. Yeah. Uh-oh. All right.

Does that finish your turn? I have a little bit of movement. You have 10 more feet of movement. I'm just inside the hall. No, you have quite a bit of movement. Yeah, I'll make sure I hop back inside. Okay, do it. Back up onto the table.

I'll probably just stay there. I'll stay out of the way, because I think I only have like five more feet. Okay, you got it. All right. I see Elemental's gone now. The Elemental, who is now unleashed without focus, is going to go ahead and

move into the center. Can you get close to Laudna? It can't move closer to me. No, it's moving to the side, technically. All right. It's trying to get out of eyesight to you. Perpendicular. Like, move to the side.

Actually, no, it's moving to the side there. It's going to move out of range of you. Yeah, its reach is only five feet on that, so it's going to stay put. It's going to stay put. It's locked in there. It's going to stay put. It's going to stay put. It's locked in there. It's going to go ahead and... It's going to go into a whirlwind.

It's going to whip around into this massive tornado in the middle of the room. All the books, all the bits of just tossed, broken furniture begin to pull up into it. As it does... No? No. It can't, because you need to be in its space, but you can't do it in a gulf because it can't get closer

because it's afraid of Laudna. So instead, it's going to take two strikes with disadvantage at you. Or we'll say the tornado picks up as the whirlwind goes and the arms once again flip out to try and hit you. That's going to be with disadvantage and Vane on it. Deuce. Nice, Laudna. Oh, it's a natural one.

The first one just. You're just easy to dodge. You can see it's flailing now, and previously its wildness was difficult to see, but now it's starting to just strike out in all directions. The second one with disadvantage. That's better. Okay, that is still with a minus three to that. With Bane, which is minus three on it. That puts better. Okay, that is still minus three to that.

With Bane, which is minus three on it. That puts it at a 16 to hit still. 15. Oh! Oh! She's so right on the edge. With that, you take... I'm on the edge!

I'm dying! 16 points of bludgeoning damage. Can I go unconscious? So the one goes wide wide and the confidence hits you as you pull back, and then one wayward hit slams you flying up into the air at a high arc before slamming into the table.

Can I Silvery Barbs that second one? Can I Silvery Barbs it? The second one? Yep, Silvery Barbs. It has disadvantage already. Because it sees you. Oh yeah. I can't disadvantage the disadvantage. Double disadvantage. Double disadvantage.

Well, actually, let's look at what the rules say. Double disadvantage. Stampy. Hold on. The spells say disadvantage, or if it's roll an additional dice. I'm on disadvantage. It says.

Disadvantage. Must reroll the d20 and use the lower roll. So it doesn't say disadvantage. So yeah, it does. It's not an advantage. So yes, we can. So what you think at first is this impact that blasts into Imogen, knocking her unconscious. No!

After you throw out the silvery barbs, Imogen catches herself on the table and you realize that was her rapidly dodging out of the way just in time and then catching herself on the table. Oh, don't sprain your back. Going wide, and then it's going to flee because it's afraid of you.

Shush! And that's an 80-foot, 90-foot fly speed. It just takes off way out that way. Pâté! Oh no! Tell Pâté to poop and come back. Tell my story! Okay.

You don't see anything, you just shout out into the wind. That's true, I could. Okay. With the elemental gone. If I might, I'm going to try, if we're out of initiative? Well, it depends. Okay, no problem.

Someone is still bleeding out heavily. Okay. Do you want to? I would love to spare the dying on that young depends. Okay, no problem. Someone of them is still bleeding out heavily. Okay. Do you want to? I would love to spare the dying on that young man. Okay. Or woman. Yeah. You go ahead and reach out and cast Spare the Dying. The bleeding, profusely bleeding wounds

of this half of a mage as he's on the ground, going. They begin to slow in bleeding, and then the wounds stop. Begins to just breathe heavily, and in that moment, there's an odd quiet as you all catch your breath and think, what the fuck happened?

And you're in a residential neighborhood making a lot of noise. We need to get out of here. That's where we're going to go to break. Oh! Be back here in a few minutes to see the aftermath of this insanity. That did not go well.

Could have gone worse. Could have gone better. I got it all. I got it. I was filming the whole time. I got it all, guys. Great footage. We'll be back here in just a moment.

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shows and the stories we tell. Speaking of which, let's get back to the story. Sorry. And welcome back. So, Bell's Hell's cooling down from a rather intense encounter with two figures unconscious and one banished and quick to return. As the air elemental fires off into the midday chaos of the city, what do you do?

Ah! Ah! We could be there when he returns. Yeah, you want to go pilot, like everybody hits him at once? Yep. Everybody down in the basement! Or do we run, because more guards are going to be coming to this house?

But these guys, they could tell us what we need to know why they came here and looked for it. We know why they came here. They're looking for the people who stole the tomes. Why don't we just take one of them with us? Yeah, I was going to say. Can we do that? Put them in the hole.

Who's the one who would know the most? Does anyone have proficiency in religion? I should. I'm a fucking cleric, but no. No. I'm not a religious cleric. No, I'm not. I should have chosen it, though. No one I'm not a religious guy right now. No, I'm not. I should have chosen it, though. No one has proficiency in religion?

Nope. Wow. Bind the ringleader and let's get out of here. That made it feel like it was the cast, right? There was one guy who was giving a lot of orders. Yes, he was. The guy in the rose, right? He's the one I stabilized, right?

Yes. Okay. All right, grab him. He's unconscious. Who can carry him? We're all tiny and weak. Wait, you can! We're strong! I'm going to take the orb away from him just so he can't do any of that stuff again. Okay. After tying him up

and tying hands together like this. Okay, while you're tying the hands, remember, there's one minute before we return to Banishment. You spent 30 seconds discussing this. Okay. It's going to take about a half a minute to properly tie up the hands and bind it. Like, let's take a minute and then at least get out.

Okay. No time? No time, we're just going. I'll skip it since we're rushed. All right, so what are you doing? What's the plan? Throw him in the bag. In the hole. In the hole.

Yep. And then go. Where's the hole? Wait, does Ashley have the hole? You've been carrying the hole, haven't you? Confirmed. No, I feel like it got taken away from me because I kept. No, it did get taken away.

We don't have any of our stuff? I don't know if I have the hole or if Ashton has the hole. We're going to say right now, Ashton has it. Darn! Why would you do that? Because it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's true.

Okay, am I picking him up? Am I picking him up and then we're leaving? Can he be a horse again? You were such a big horse for no reason. Time has taken! All right, let's go. Go, go, go. Just like a regular horse? A regular horse, that's nice.

Okay. Now we're out. She shoves on that outside. We're still inside. We're late. Clomping over the broken furniture. I'm going to rip a curtain down off of one of the windows, if there is one.

There's many curtains. I throw it over the body on top of Fearne's back to make it look, I don't know, less like a fucking body being carried down the street. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Here we go. So you're grabbing the mage figure, throwing it over the horse, covering it.

The one that was banished has, at this point in time, you know, you recognize it's returned into the basement. What do you do? We're gone. We're gone. We run, we run. Okay, you guys charge out into the main courtyard area where the gate is still partially open,

beyond the grass. Glancing around, you do not see the element. It is gone. The front door itself is busted inward. One of the doors is off the hinges in the ground. You, glancing around, you do not immediately see any guards, but you gather there has been enough noise that it won't be long before they follow up.

We should just make distance right now, get out of this neighborhood. Which direction? Hmm. We don't know the city. You're in the northern ring of the city, specifically. So we'll head to the middle ring. Okay.

Okay. Is the guy from downstairs coming up, or are we clear? Are you waiting around? If you guys are pushing out there. He's not chasing after us or anything? Make a perception check. I will make a perception check. I will also. Scan everything.

21. 25. Mine is better. Because it was first. Sam logic. You do see the figure who is shield and sword, going to hear the sound of their footfalls entering the kitchen area as you exit.

You do know that they've arrived, they've returned, and they're frantically looking for what the hell happened and who's around. But you head off, exiting where you came from in the neighborhood. Did Pate successfully come back to me when someone called him? That was crazy!

Shut up! And I'll take us, I'm going to lead us on, the first right or left we can take so that we are not in direct line of the door, I will take. No worries. So you guys are going to head more in the alley, off to the side?

Sure. Between the buildings? Okay. I'll have a group stealth check as you travel through this neighborhood to try and ensure that you don't draw unwanted attention as the guards do begin to gather towards the chaos. Let's come around the table here, Orym. 23.

23, okay. What the fuck? That's two failures there. Fuck this here. That's fuck? So that's two failures there. Fuck this here. That's even, we're evens. 19. Okay. Four. 16.

Okay, this is the deciding roll. 26. Hey! We're so stealthy. Woo! You guys! You guys. You guys.

All righty. So while you begin to hear the shuffling of various wardens of the city rushing towards that direction, you begin to maneuver around, spread out a little bit, so you're not just one immediate cluster of individuals, and through this somewhat disparate but watchful positioning,

you get to incorporate yourselves into the nearby folks that are wandering about the city, walking along the side of the horse for some of you, others pairing off and just keeping a distance until eventually you begin to head back out into the main thoroughfare here in the Dominion Ring. Now, there hasn't been a lot of absurdity and chaos beyond just that section of the neighborhood as you pass beyond the exterior walls

and back into the main portion of the Dominion Ring, where you can see the various high statues that line the sides of the main cobblestone road. You can see the disparate towers from the palace to the far northern side, as well as the nearby college and many of the other businesses, the marble amphitheater. Everything is around you and you have an unconscious body covered in a blanket side as well as the nearby college and many of the other businesses, the Marvel Amphitheater. Everything is around you,

and you have an unconscious body covered in a blanket on the back of a horse. I don't know, Fearne. I really don't. Good girl. So you're heading towards the central endeavoring. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. Following. Mm-hmm. Following.

I'm sorry, can you remind us, or me, because I don't remember. Yeah. The three rings are layered like stairs, almost, right? Correct. The northernmost, which is the tallest, is the Venture Ring. So sorry, sorry, sorry.

The northernmost, which is the tallest, is the Dominion Ring, and that's the political center. It's where the palace is, where the Court of the Lambent Path resides. It's where the seminary is, and it's the neighborhood where you were exists. The central middle one is the Endeavor Ring, and this is the center of the mercantile,

where a lot of the business warehouse districts and many of the side ports are stationed. It's the bustling heartbeat of commerce in the city. Then the southernmost area, which is the smallest, or the one that's the furthest down towards the final path of the waterfalls is the Venture Ring. That is the largest portion of the port aspects of the city

and where it heads towards the outlet that goes to the Southern Barrel Sea. Okay. While we have been riding to this point so far, can I, if Imogen hasn't already, go through this person's pockets and pull out any kind of magical shit I find? I was trying to wait until we were no longer visible.

He's like, you know. Are we in alleys or are we now in the thoroughfare? You're now out. The alleys you made quickly to in the thoroughfare? You're now out. The alleys you made quickly to get through. So that was just the very beginning? Yes. Okay. You're now out in the major city and blending in with the crowds to, you know,

find your way without finding people's prying eyes. You could attempt a sleight of hand check to try and start searching him. We're in the middle of Manhattan. Yeah. Okay. Well, where are you heading? You don't have a guide. You do not to try and start searching him. Nah. We're in the middle of Manhattan. Yeah. Okay. Well, where are you heading? You don't have a guide. You do not know where Ashton is.

The only place you've really been was the Lake Cap Skyport and Lounge, which you can see from where you're standing, as well as areas of the Tribridge Plaza that you had introduced to you by Landon. What about city parks? City parks? Yes, actually. They're more common in the Dominion Ring where you were,

so that's the more beautification area, but there are a handful of small public gardens that sit central to some of the busiest elements of commerce. Actually, on the western side, just outside of the Tribage Plaza, you can immediately see what looks to be a modest-sized, half-garden cluster ring of trees that connotates the exterior of this area.

There's some benches and some stone sculptures that are set up. As you see in the distance, it's not terribly crowded and folks just wander past it. There's a little facet of beautification here in the middle of the city. Seems open. What about the dock areas on the outskirts?

Does every level have its own dock level? Every level has multiple docks because they have multiple means in which different ships and boats can disseminate the various levels of the lake that surrounds them. Where did I leave? Find a warehouse. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, like an empty warehouse,

something where they unload the docks, you know? Where did we leave Landon Krishal? We left him. We just told him to go take off. Yeah, you parted ways at the base of the seminary. And did we have a way of contacting him? Did we? Yeah, he went and sold us out. Or did he?

No. He was a sweetheart. You're all thinking it. No. You think he sold us out? He's a sweetheart. I don't think so. We should call him up. Maybe he can help us. He's our guide.

We can send a message to him, say, where should we go? Can we look for a warehouse first? A warehouse? Sure, we can walk around with a horse and a dead body and say, hey, any warehouses around here? We can call a guide and say, hey, any empty warehouses so we can look at a dead body? Yeah.

You can do it. It's not dead, technically. You got the same spell I do. I could. For a period of time. Would You got the same spell I do. I could. For a period of time. Would you like me to? For a period of time. He's stabilized. Stabilized, but not bound. No.

Are we wanting to question this guy or just get the shit out of his pockets? Question. A cast her. Yeah. Cool. I got mana colds. Want to call Lamin? No. I have mana colds. I know mana colds. Want to call Laman? No. I have mana colds.

All right, who's helming the investigation to find a warehouse space that could temporarily be utilized? When I, hmm, that was at night. When I flew up over the town and I wouldn't have known. You wouldn't have been looking for warehouses at the time. It was more of just a beautiful view of the evening city skyline. Who wants to ask around and start looking for

what would be a- I can ask around, I guess, if you want. Go ahead and make an investigation check for me. All right. Excuse me. I rolled badly. Investigation? Ooh, that's bad. Seven. Seven.

Most folks seem to be caught off guard, not in an unpleasant way, but with this unique, jovial automaton coming up and talking with them. And the conversation seems to steer from, oh, well, where are you coming from? I don't think. All right, all right.

Just have a nice day. Pardon me. Yes? Can you point me to the nearest docks? Sorry, I'm new to town. Oh, yeah, there's the eastward dock district to the eastern side. Just follow this road a little bit around

the outskirts of the plaza, over to where the water is. It'd be hard to miss it. There's many of them there. Thank you, sir. You're welcome. Head that way. You're rubbing it in. You're rubbing it in. How far is it? Eh, it can't be that far. We're surrounded by water.

I'm going to look. I want to, from my perch on Fearne's rump, I want to turn and just look for anybody who might be stealthily trailing us. Okay. Roll a perception check. That is... Five minutes.

I'm going to guess, I believe. 24? 24. Nobody trailing you, but the figure underneath the curtains is starting to rouse. Okay. And move. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Don't kill him. Crack. No longer moving. Poor guy. I'll cast Spare the Dying again. Just to be safe, okay. Just in case. Please don't die.

A short walk later, pushing through the center of the chaotic center ring of the city, you come upon what looks to be three primary docks that hit here, just alongside flanking the Easter Bridge. It is this massive, long sister bridge to the northern one that you remember flying over as you approach the city around sunset the night before. Looking beyond that, you can see all manner of carriages

and horses and other beasts of burden that are at different distances heading from and to the city across that way, and probably close to 30 or 40 boats scattered across the waters, and about, let's say, seven or eight of them in the docks. And when I say boats, these aren't massive galleons. Some of them are just small fisherman's boats.

Some of them are fairly sized transport boats, cargo boats. And you have a better look now of some of the arcane elevation elements, where you can see one ship is being lifted out of the water. The water's pouring off the side as a large, multi-tiered stone platform glows and lifts out of the water to bring a ship up onto the upper area of the lake. It takes off and continues northward towards that section of the lake. But these dogs are busy.

It doesn't look like they're in the process of dealing with a mass influx. Most people just going about their business. There are some small buildings where you imagine storage might occur, if not small merchants setting up whatever form of business they find to their interest. If you're looking for any particular kind of warehouse.

Something shadowy and abandoned-y. All right. Shitty. It takes a... It takes you a little bit to find one that seems comfortable enough to what you're doing. You also notice the body moving again. On my, okay. Body moving.

I'm just going to say into his head, if you know what's best for you, you'll stop moving. Make an intimidation check. He's a caster, too, right? His hands are bound? No. Is his mouth gagged? No. What the fuck are we doing?

24. I'm going to do that. 24. Doesn't seem to be moving. Okay. We've got to get this guy back real quick. Can we knock him out again? He's going to have permanent brain damage.

Oh well. Won't be able to cast spells at us in our face. You find, within another two to three minute period of time past that brief bit of internal intimidation, a small storage space that is partway open. Two young orcish men are in the process of loading a series of small boxes and baskets

into the back of a cart. It looks to be a jungle cat of some kind. Not quite like the Twilight Tigers that you encountered earlier, but a similar panther-like visual to them. You can see they're currently holding some sort of barding on them and are strapped in to pull the cart behind it.

As the two orcs are finishing loading the cart, they go ahead and pull down this large, heavy door that unfolds as they finish it, hits the ground, a bit of dust rests in the ground. One of them goes ahead and locks it tight with this heavy old lock, checks it, get it up into the cart,

and then one of them takes a small stick and pats the side of the panther-like cat, who then begins to parade forward and drags the cart behind it. Jenny. I got it. Are they going towards us, past us, away from us? They're heading towards the far dock or the beginning of the bridge.

I'm not sure which. I head over to the door with the lock. As soon as they're out of eyeshot. Yeah. Okay. I will attempt to pick said very large locks. Okay. I will say the nature of this, because while the place is a little out of the way,

it is unlocking a lock that is along a walkway. It's not a terribly, super difficult stealth check, but I need you to roll a stealth and a sleight of hand to do this well and do it in a very stealthy manner. Can we maneuver Fearne so she's blocking the view? Yeah, I assume you guys are defending in this to allow the opportunity, but. 25 on stealth.

Without an issue. You are unseen. Sleight of hand. Come on, come on. Oh yeah. 25. No, 27. Deftly.

A certain half-elf in Rogue would be proud. You pick the lock, definitely remove it, and it is at your disposal. You could leave it there, you could take it with you. It's your choice. You don't have the keys for it. All righty. It lifts up and within, you can look inside.

It's not massively sized, maybe 20 by 30 feet, and a lot of it is just filled with all manner of boxes. It looks like rolled up heavy burlap or sail material. You can see what looks to be metal ratchets and bindings. There's heavy rope. At first glance, this looks like there's a lot of, I want to say, shipyard naval gear,

as well as other things you can't quite recognize at first glance, but it's not half full. Something for his mouth, something for his hands. Let's get him inside. I'm already tying his hands. As soon as we're in, I'm going to get the hands like this and wrap around and around. Well, here's the thing. Yeah?

It doesn't have hands. They're not there. The minute you pull the sheet off, as the door is closing, he immediately begins to mutter something under his breath. What do you do? Grasp McVine in his face. Grasp McVine in his face. He's going to attempt to roll out of the way

off the side of the horse, taking his opportunity. Natural 20 on his dexterity saving throw. Silver barbs. Can I cast Silence? You can. I will say, for the sake of the speed on this, because you all are waiting for this to happen if you had to reach for it. I will have this be a general dexterity check.

Actually, no, initiative roll, so it'll be between the two of you. Both terrible. No problem. Rollies. Worst roll ever. Four. Four. Rollies.

That's rollies, we got to do it. Rollies. We got to do it. Come on. Five. Nine. Right as you're about to cast Silence. You roll like this. He goes,

Say five. Silence! Misty steps just off the horse and is now about 30 feet out in the main road. Well, we have the door shut, right? The door's closing as he does this. It's a bonus action that happened so fast. So he's out in the middle of the road,

onto one knee and just starts going into a run. Can I Misty Step? I'll roll and slide under. You can do that, too. I'm going to run after him. Okay, you all run. He has a 30-feet movement. You Misty Step gets you right next to him.

Mm-hmm, and I'm going to immediately command him. Okay, what are you commanding him? Stop. It's a natural five. He goes. At that point. Drag his ass back in. His shoulders just slump.

Grab his shoulders and push him back inside. Manacles, tie him up, something. I stab him in the neck. Yeah, that was his old, he only had two uses of Misty Step for the day, Manacles? Tie him up, something? I stab him in the neck. Yeah, that was his old, he only had two uses of Misty Step for the day, so he's now just accepting the bindings. And this way, with hands clasped from the center. Well, isn't this a fine how-do-you-do?

Interesting hobbies you all seem to carry. I assume you're talking about our professional occupations. What were you after today? Let's just say we've had interest on a few individuals for some time What were you after today? Let's just say we've had interest on a few individuals for some time and not a lot of movement from the abode until you all manage to begin to prune the lawn.

Oh yeah, well, it's a porn gardening business. It's kind of a double thing. It's very nice for them to employ us, honestly. Trimmed bush productions. You're far too... Defined and well-practiced, versatile skills in magic and martial prowess to be considered simple entertainers.

And seeing as how he found you in the basement of Ebonai, Ebonald's homestead, I assume that you're also in league with the Verity, is this correct? What is that? Do with me as you will. I won't answer your questions. It's already too late. Too late.

I start chewing on his hair. What is, what, why? You are so strange! Too late for what? For us to get our security deposit back? Yes. I start rooting through Castor's pockets and bags

to see if I find any, even like, I don't know, credentials, anything. Okay. Make an investigation check. Oh, that'll go well. Four. Four, okay. Where are his pockets? You rummage through the robes a bit.

You find six platinum and probably 65 gold pieces, a few silver. You find a pouch of spell components. He has his glass orb, as well as the satchel that it hangs in, which he snaps over almost like a- You got the glass orb. I did. Yeah, but the satchel he has currently.

No spell book. Make it lower somehow. Yeah, that's about the majority of what you find in a quick pat down. Well, I'll take the components away. Too late for what? I can't figure it out. Oh, charisma saving throw.

For the things in motion. Please, we genuinely don't know what's going on. That's even better. I'm going to bane him. You see him wince as the shadows crawl even deeper towards the crooks of his eyes and the sides. And I'll cast Fast Friends on him. Cast Fast Friends on him.

I guess that's better than me slowly picking his fingernails off. You can do that, too. That fails. You just got to get a little leverage. Oh god. Yeah, you leave it right near the nail bed so it can flap and catch on something.

Oh! Travis. Then I bet he answers your question. Minus a d4. Right, that's Bane, yeah? Yeah. Right. Puts it at a 12. That's below 14.

Yay! Yeah. Okay. Bane makes the difference. Up, ah, but... No, no, that doesn't. He doesn't get it. No, that was the other one that got the advantage on it. Up, up, up.

I'm also having a really rough day. I can really feel your pain. I'm sorry that we put you through that, but we could really use some help. I don't know what help I could be to any of you. If you're truly outside of this and I've misjudged your intent, then it's best that you just walk away.

Why? Are we in danger? Of course you are. You're getting tangled in with things far beyond your purview, especially a bunch of perverts like you. Not judging. No, well, of course not. We are sexual deviants, it's true. That's our LLC name.

But maybe we could change our ways if we just knew what was going on in the world. You're from, who do you work for? Who are you? I am a member of the Ruby Vanguard. Ruby Vanguard. Like the Ruby of the Sea? Mm-hmm. It's not a Ruby of the Sea pop troupe.

Ruby Vanguard, got it. What is a Ruby Vanguard? That sounds important. We have not heard this, actually. No? Is it a violent organization? A military group? It is a group that wishes to ensure a better future for all Exandria.

Where are you? We heard of some folks from Vasselheim. Is that where you're from? No, no, no. But I assume we are not aligned, but not necessarily opposing in our interest either with the Grim Verity.

Our eventual goals couldn't be more diametrically opposed. Oh. You're trying to let him out. Who? The thing upstairs? Up there in the... Up there? You're literally dressed in the colors of the moon. It's right in the name.

Red is a common color for decor. Sure. Tell us what you know about Ruidus. Make a persuasion check. Okay, okay, okay. Friendly doesn't mean they answer that. Sure, sure, sure. I drop wild.

23. 23. Nice roll. That's the only one I got. Kind of gives a close look across the entirety of your personages. You don't seem as the godly types. Am I to make a proper assessment,

especially given the circumstances in which we met? Not the most pious of introductions, I assume. No. Do gods not like sex? I think some of them do. Yes, right? Hmm. There are many gears in motion to free ye.

Free the chains that abound every mortal life since the beginning of time on this planet innumerable. Chains that bind life on this planet? We walk in the shadows of the supposed creators and have since the very beginning. Imagine, imagine if we all had the freedom to walk as we wish, undriven by fate, untethered by the wheels of things

that came far before we did, and have lost the right to call themselves gods. So you're not the religious type? No. Like a fresh start for all of living things? Yes. That sounds really nice. It really does.

How do you do that? How do you make a fresh start? From as we've understood and been working towards for some time under him, everything that's ever existed is part of some cycle of life, an ecology. To the smallest scales of the tiniest insects,

to the mightiest beasts, there is prey and there is predator. The gods, we have been told from the beginning, are the top of all life. But where did they come from? If they founded this world, they came from somewhere. And wherever they came from, they aren't the only ones.

Everything can have a predator that hunts it. I tell this. When you said under him, who were you? The leader of our organization. Is that a person or is that? It is. Oh. The one who founded many of these beliefs and the one who has been integral in orchestrating

a very long, intricate way to do what must be done. Not more than a little over a week's time. We'll all be free. They'll all be free? We'll all be free. He sounds like a very wise person, or at least forward-thinking. Where can we find him or talk to him

or hear of his teachings? You'll know of him soon enough once this is done. He's very busy right now. Just maybe we could help the cause if we knew. Or at least benefit from it. You know, we're all, we all chose this life of sexual idolatry because of things in our past.

I mean, everybody has things in their past that they want to get rid of, and us, too. It's a bit close to the 11th hour to allow any sort of loose ends into a very intricately plotted, engineered moment, So I apologize if I don't find comfort in welcoming you into our respective troops so soon, but soon enough, everyone will know the change to come. You want us to be free.

You want a clean slate. Don't you? Are you talking about wiping out the gods? We're not going to. We're only letting nature run its course. By setting free a natural predator. Are you working with Thul? Thul has been,

and you'd like the look in his eyes, not trusting so much to the rest of you, but definitely leaning into some facets of this conversation, both with a comfortable arrogance, a predilection towards maybe finding some semblance of common cause, and an attempt to implore you to stay out of it. But when you say Thule's name,

there is a glimmer of surprise and curiosity in their eyes. Thule has been rather instrumental to our organization. And he's part of it? Yes. Okay. Is Thul also working under him? We all are. Is him here on Exandria, or?

He moves around quite a bit. Many things to be attentive to. Many final T's to cross and I's in the days to come. It's quite accomplished. Have you ever met him? I have. What does he look like? Is he hot?

Detect thoughts. Detect thoughts. The first immediate glance, you get quick flashes of thoughts that sit upon, they're asking too many questions. Maybe it's time to close this loop. Find a way out of here. Find a way out.

Maybe there's common cause, but it's best they don't know. And that's the surface thoughts you acquire. I, Rowinda Goth, dig deeper. Oh yeah. You dig deeper? Fuck yes. When I say that out loud,

I don't see if that tosses anything around. With a bane, that puts wisdom at 14. 17. Oh! Yes. I never at 14. 17. Oh! Yes. I never got told. You said, Irwenda Gothis. I'm extremely curious

how happenstance our meeting really was. You are quite knowledgeable of very many things. Yes, you're very bright. You push past and the deeper thoughts you hear are, Ira's been a loose thread for too long. If they know Ira, maybe they're on Ira's side. I'll have to let him know. He may be around here still.

Maybe he hasn't left yet. If I can get out of here and let him know that Ira's still out and about. And you see flashes of an older, handsome, stoic, elvish man with long silver hair. Yeah, 100%. You see him. Who?

Where is he? You see him? Who? Who? Who? Where is he? Oh. You say into his head. Mm-hmm. Says out loud in response, I don't know where he is. I'm not his keeper. He's probably handling the keys.

There's just many things to do. What keys? You'll know in time. Oh, yes, yes. It's interesting, for all the chaos, there's this confident calm that seems to have come over him now, as he's spoken a bit.

Well, it's a beautiful thing, knowing that you aren't from Vasselheim. He's got his hands all bound up, right? Yep. Yeah. I run his pockets. I run everything. Why is he confident? I'm just patting him down the whole thing. We haven't even successfully done that yet.

Patting him down. The confidence you're piercing into his head, the confidence comes from a zealotry and a belief in the cause. This isn't a sellsword. This isn't an ally. This isn't an opportunist.

This is somebody that fully believes in whatever they're doing. And fully believes in him. I say, because you're probing, when he says keys and you ask him what keys, there are flashes in his mind of a large machine, a strange, extended, slightly familiar build, similar to what you saw in the Calloway layaway.

Mm-hmm. Okay. So that's the servers assembly controlled one that they've taken over. How many keys are there? And where are the, where, does he need more? Maybe we can help him find them. Make a persuasion check.

That's right, because you're still his friend. Terrible, awful. Seven. Stop rolling so fast. Seven says, No matter. Enough. It's taken many years to set them right. The last one's finished.

As he's saying that, because you're peering into his mind still. Three. In his mind, you see flashes. You see one surrounded in dark green twilight. You see one surrounded in deep shadow and craggy black obsidian ground, broken and jagged, and one, one deep in a dust and sand recess,

a hole in the ground amongst ruins and crumbled arches and structures, surrounded by torchlight and hard workers building. I don't believe this. I only imagine nothing about this. And nothing in the pockets, right? Nothing on him, no objects, no spheres, standing stones, coins.

No, the spheres he has, the coins he's already taken. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. I thought he couldn't find his pockets. Component pouch. You do find... You bound them quickly, but as you're glancing over and feeling it up, beneath the rope, there is a band

that sits around each wrist. There's a very, very fine gold inlaid band with these circular inscribings, these glyph-like inscribings around it. What are these? Anybody seen these before? I can look at it real quick. Do you want me to do it now, or?

I think I still have to. We'll break Fast Friends if you. Yeah, yeah, look. Fast Friends is concentration? Yeah. Are you talking is concentration. Yeah. Are you talking about identify? Yeah. Identify is not concentration.

Is it like a thin gold chain? Yeah, identify is just instantaneous. It's like a band. I'll just look at it. Yeah, indeed, these are enchanted. They are bracers of defense. Oh. Oh.

All right, we should take those. Swipe those. Once you have to unbind them to do so. Yeah. Well, that'll be easy to do once we kill him. I mean, we're going to have to kill him, right? There's no way. Wait, what were you doing at, what did you come to the house again for?

Did we already talk about this? Oh, not really. I mean. We had Janomia stationed up to keep an eye on the residence in case anyone came in and out. We've been searching for Ebonold Kai for quite some time. I believe you know this individual. There's no other reason you'd be present

with all the knowledge you have. Now, at this point, I can only assume you're either part of the Grim Verity or at least loosely connected. I assure you, these are very intelligent researchers, but they lack the vision to know what needs to be done. What needs to be done?

To free us all. We have been their toys since we were given purpose. The minute one of us ascended to their position, they've quaked and feared us. We are not their beautiful children. We are their food. We are their power. Last time the gods were pressed, millions died.

You think it's going to be quick and clean, what you're talking about? That was us rising against them. But we're not fighting them. We're just unchaining the hound they fear. This is one of the few things that makes the gods quake. Once he devours the gods, what makes you think he'll be satiated?

It only feeds on divinity of that scale. How do you know? Because he speaks with it. That's a pretty big trust fall. I believe in him. He knows much. trust for. I believe in him. Longs for you. He knows much. Has sacrificed much.

We're part of something grand. And we will change the future for the better. No longer under the thumb of these temples, these ancient rites, these books that hold altered history in the favor of these gods. Do you know the lies that we've lived under for millennium? Do you know why

this city now teams with the hunters of the temples to silence you, to silence us? Anybody who would rise against the words of the gods, because anyone who would argue or challenge what they say is truth, disappears. Oh, the Judicators. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You might be happy to live under their imposed will. I'm not. We are not.

He's not. But do not worry. Whether you believe in me or this or him, soon you'll be free to. And why do you trust him? Because I do. So just to, you know, put this out there, you're saying that you're going to sort of

release the hound, and the hound is going to eat the gods, and then all of us will be free to be gods, too, or just be free to be us? Like, what do you mean? To live our lives untangled in their whims. Hmm. Why do you feel like you have to live

your life under them now? As we said earlier, we don't really consider ourselves a religious bunch. Why not do whatever you want? Who cares? He just grows a bit quiet with a smug smile. You'll know in time. Or maybe you won't. I mean, I think I understand what he's saying a little bit.

I mean, even though we're not religious, a lot of us have been influenced one way or another by gods or people who serve them. You know, the Matron of Ravens or people that Orm's people follow or... Doesn't the Matron guide souls after they die? What happens to people that die? If the gods aren't around, is it possible to die?

We'll find out. What's interesting is you are basically doing his bidding, so you still are following a god and doing what he's telling you to do. He's not a god. Sounds like he fancies himself one. He's a liberator.

So he devours the other gods. Nobody can fight him. And he's free to do whatever he wants. We are. And he is. What did Zephyr have to do with any of this? He looks at you with a curious glance. Insight check. Make an insight check.

In his head, am I just hearing, what? That means something. 22. 22. A whisper. Whispers. Oh man. From hardcore porn to hardcore lore. You know what Pardathos wants? from hardcore porn to hardcore lore.

You know what Predathos wants? The freedom to make his own home adult entertainment. Absolutely, yes. Unrestricted. Would I have heard it? Vivian. It was in his head. I can read it, but you can also get going.

So you've met him, you've spent time with him. You've seen him in the flesh. You've seen what he looks like? He is the one who guides our organization, yes. The architect of all that we are accomplishing to free this predator. So you basically worship that ol' fuck. Not the hound. There's a hound and then there's a person.

The god and then the guy who ate us. And which we have the only image of Nose so far. And the God Eater. We've seen him, right? The old elven man, have we seen him? We've been told about him. You've been told about him. Oh, okay. Secondhand information. I only have one question.

I mean, you seem really confident in all this, which is great. Congratulations. That's a heck of a thing to have the inside track on. What if this hound, to use your brilliant terminologies, let loose, consumes all the gods, and we are free!

Woo, tits out! If we are free, and this entity just starts feeding, what if he doesn't stop and just continues with all the life on the planet as well? Yeah, that's what I asked him. Yeah. He'll stop before that, right, It Will? It only feeds on divinity of that string.

And there are others beyond this world that it seeks thereafter. That sounds like not a terrible deal, is all I'm saying. Well, you better be right. Yeah, better be sure. Pretty big coin flip. And you're willing to die for this, right?

When the shark finishes eating the fish, it doesn't go after the plankton. That was pretty slick. That was actually good. I bet he's heard that from someone else. That's been recited to him before. It's probably on the inside of that gold bracelet. If I may, just on a practical sense, one moment.

What do we need for our next step? I think we need to know the exact location of those keys. Those contraptions. The ones that? The one in the desert. Do we have the exact location of it? We know three locations where it could be, but we have narrowed it down to an area. Okay, great.

But. North of Eos, and then Feywild, and then Shadowfell. Yeah. Yeah, I think they have the exact location. All we know is Hellcatch Valley. But I think the people that we were talking to before, they do actually have a location. But in the Fey Realm, that's a big place, right?

Sure, but I don't know if this guy would know the exact location. Because her parents thwarted and stole the crown from the one. So we do have that one. So we do have a connection of one. It's the one in the Shadowfell that we don't really know exactly where it is. So we're thinking that there's three keys.

Two of them are already sort of complete, and the one here is almost complete? They're working real hard, you said. Two of them are already sort of complete, and the one here is almost complete. They're working real hard, he said. Well, and we already learned last game that the one here is the most scrappy, that they took over and they've been rushing the building. But the other ones are less guarded. Because they're mostly done.

Yeah. So does it behoove us to go to one of them and fuck with it? That's what we were trying to figure out, yeah. Because Grandma was a part of that. We got to figure out that. That's why I called her current. Also, it sounds like.

Is there anything that we need from this guy to verify that that is the way to go or information to do that? I mean, I guess we could push further if it is. I'd love if we're really having this conversation just in front of him. No, no, no, not the tabletop. Yeah, it's not the tabletop.

Not using our voices. I mean, I guess we could push and ask him about the Cerberus Assembly being involved, since we knew that the Cerberus Assembly stamp was on the crates that we stole from Otohan at Paragon's Call. Yeah, we know they're all over that, the one that's on this Plane of Existence.

Right, if his dude is part of the Cerberus Assembly, and then that would give us that confirmation if it is the same long silver hair elf. But we know already. Yeah, we do, but we're metagaming our characters. We would never. Don't. We can't remember. He looks right at the camera.

Also, I don't want to mess with Leedness, if that's who this person is, but he's in town. Leibniz is in town, but, oh god. Is he in town? I mean, he's around. He's around. He said if he's still here. Is Thull around? I have no idea. I've not seen her since then.

When was the last time you saw her? Oh. A little over a week or two ago. A week or two ago. A week or two. You all have been, you've been doing work with the Unseelie Corps or something like that? I have not been part of that portion of the work. Okay.

You ask so many questions that I'm so curious. We're so fascinated by this. It really does sound like a good deal. Yeah. I'm serious. You know, having all of our obligations and sins wiped away and starting fresh, it's not terrible. Yeah, I don't hate it, honestly. If we wanted to maybe go and talk to your person,

master, boss, man. Where would we go? In the Hillcatch Valley, right? Make a persuasion check. Come on! I'm terrible at these. Someone got me. Can I give him assistance? Persuasion? No, because it's his spell.

Ah, okay. 24. Nice. He's fine. 24? Yeah, there we go. There we go. There it is. Hell yeah, that's good. What is that, an 18? That's fine. 24? Yeah, there we go. There we go. He's done it. There it is. Hell yeah, that's good. What is that, an 18? That's good. Plus six. Oh. Oh, plus five.

23. He can be hard to pin down in the time coming to the looming event. Unfortunately, now would be a challenge, but within time, I think you'll know. Oh, he's not that close to him. You're just like a peon.

Because you have a manager. Oh, that's so sad. We think we're getting something, but yeah, he's actually low on the key. He's probably an up-and-comer, though. There is, immediately looking into his mind, a deep sense of fury, self-consciousness, and a longing to be appreciated within his organization

that bubbles up from underneath. It's okay, just keep doing the tapes. You'll reach a higher level. If it was more important, he would be in the Feywild or the Shadowfell. Hey, don't be mean to our new friend, whose name is what? Taldis.

Taldis. Taldis, it's not your fault if you don't know where this guy is. I just don't need to share the information. He's tall and he's got silver hair. What was his name? Make another intimidation. This is a variation of bullying here on Intimidation.

Give us a name. 19. 19. Mr. Deleath would despise someone of such terrible public decorum. I suggest if indeed you wish to be brought into the new future ahead of us with some semblance of esteem, you learn some manners in the face of a genius.

I'm so sorry. He's not going to know that you're saying all this about him, just so you know. Genius. I happen to know him quite well. Oh yeah? Where is he, then? I told you, he's busy. Yeah, so busy.

You're not privy to this information anyway. You can pry around all you want. My mind is well guarded. I'm going to just look and see if he knows where I am. I'm going to just look. Shit! I'm going to push you. His brain jumps around of like, I've seen him this place once and this place once, and we shook hands a couple of months back, and he told me I was doing a good job,

but he's around. He jumps around. He can be everywhere he wants to. Man, you probably thought you were getting quite the score by busting in on us in the house. He really doesn't know. No, did you think coming into Ebonald's house just... Oh, been like a promotion?

Been a promotion, exactly. Your moment to shine. Exactly. Look, I don't think he's going to give us anything else. Well, what if we give you something to take back to him to help you with that promotion? You have terrible taste in friends, you know this. I don't.

I think you just have to get to know them. Yeah, you don't have to know everybody. Biblically. You just have to get to know them. They're really sweet. I feel like he's sex-shaming us. Some of them are very sweet, and some of them are just very honest.

Listen, we've all got our problems. You probably have some problems, too. That's why you joined up with this club that you're in. Little ragtag group of Seekers. As that's happening, you start seeing, looking into the face of his new metallic friend, the discussion of traumas, you begin to feel emotional wounds

from inside, flashes of being punished for lack of piety, of being bound to an altar and forced to pray for hours. You see a childhood of persecution for a lack of religious focus. Is there anything you want to get off your chest? These ropes. They're on your wrists. I'm holding it to my,

I need this figure of speech. Damn it, now I feel guilty. Why? Did try to kill us. Checking with Im in on her head. Guilty. This guy's a shit, obviously. I wanted to end him.

Now I see he's got all this trauma. It was a fucked up childhood. There's a reason he hates gods. We all have trauma. What do you think? This lake is probably real deep. Yeah. I mean,

we could leave him tied up in here, take all of his shit. I don't think anyone's going to be okay with just leaving him alive, though, as I glance at Chetney. Could check in with Ashton, see if we can get him, get the hole. Just put him in the hole. What are we going to do with him?

Just carry around a random dude? I don't know. I don't know. Do you have any family? Like kids or husband, wife? I'm just asking you as a friend, a true friend. We all have family.

Some black, some chosen. Totally get that. Totally get that. Who's got the hole right now? Ashton. Ashton. Oh fuck. I said Ashton. All right, well, what do we do with this guy?

Do we turn him over to the authorities at this place so he gets locked up? Should we take him to the star point, something or other, and turn him in? I could, I could, no. What? I could message, I'm going to say in your head, I could now. What? I could message, I'm going to say in your head,

I could message Rin. Oh, and have him brought to the fire plane? The Grim Verity, yeah. I mean. That's not a bad idea. You should at least see if Rin has a goal for them before we, you know, decide. Because I mean, I don't think anyone. That's a good idea.

I don't think anyone in his group is good idea. I don't think anyone in his group is going to care if he lives or dies. Let the Grimthirity out. Let's do it. Let them figure it out. Yeah. All right. I'm sure they have lots of questions.

I have no idea how to tell Ryn where we are. Go look at the address outside. Is there an address? We're Eastport. Eastport area. Of what? Of Eos. Yeah, but what?

We're in the middle ring? We're in the middle? No. Is there an address? No. We were in the Venture. Endeavor. The Endeavor Ring. Endeavor Ring. Yeah. Hmm.

You said ducks. Okay. This is so stupid. Woo! I'm going to send a message to Wrynn. All right. We could also meet at a place that we know. There's this Drogon statue

and there's Traverse rarities in the past. Yeah, we got a report from the Ruby Vanguard. Do they want to do anything with him? Yeah, that's on the map. We open him up like a can of beans. All right. We've captured a member of the Ruby Vanguard. Do you want him?

If so, come and get him. Otherwise, we'll end it. Oh, oh, interesting. No, please, yes. That would be quite helpful. Where are you? Goddamn it. It's okay.

I will use my remaining. I'll quickly go out and see if there's any identifying markers or, you know, anything on the front. Yeah, yeah, I mean, the dock that you're not too far from, you can see has one of the multicolored, there are multicolored lighthouses around the outside, though it is not currently lit, but this one has bands around the bases,

the base and the top of where the lighthouse itself turns for the evening when the light is actually on, that has a deep, deep navy blue coloration to it, to the bands. All right. And the warehouse that you're at has a faded brick color to it, and what looks to be a flagpole that stands up, but there's no flag affixed to it.

Most of the places here that have flagpoles, almost everyone has flagpoles. This one just doesn't have one. I had to tell her, a faded brick warehouse on the east, well, we're west, right? We're east. The eastern side of the city. East, in the endeavoring by the blue. Faded by the blue lighthouse.

We could put a ribbon or something on the flagpole so they see it, get Chetney up there. The, the, the, she'll figure it out. All right. I'm going to use my last remaining There. She'll figure it out. All right. I... So you can convey the information. Yes, I will do that. I'm going to use my last remaining sorcery points

to get my third level back and convey all that. You got it. Rin responds, Oh, fantastic, fantastic. Just a moment. I think I know what you're talking about. Oh! That's so cool.

So great. Oh, what? What? Come on, Roboblain. I'm right walking. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is it? Hello? Oh.

It's Ryn. Open the door, I'm messing with you. That was a good idea! All right. You open the door and you see Rin immediately with a long, curved crown of horns and rubs, ushers in real fast, cloak muscled around. So who is this? Oh.

Let's take his stuff, though, before you take him. I want those bracers. Hell yeah, I got those bracers. Fantastic. Why don't you give it to them? She moves her finger in the air and he goes, Of course, I'd be happy to. He rolls his hands out.

Anything else of value on you? You took it all. Great. Wrynn. He's just odd, spacey looking. Yeah. Perfect, perfect. Oh, you'll be fun to pull apart, won't you?

Yes? His name's Taldis, that's it. I was just going to say. Oh, Taldis. He's very helpful. He's a sweetheart. Is he? He was just trying to get ahead and do what he a little dis. And he's very helpful. He's a sweetheart. Is he? He was just trying to get ahead and do what he thought was right.

All right. And he works for someone named Mr. Delef. I forget as much, based on the vanguard's entry points. So does anyone else know about this? Your involvement? Anyone? He was with a couple of other fighters. We escaped from them, but they were left at the house. Yeah, we smeared them.

Well, we didn't exactly smear them. They were unconscious and one had just bamfed back from. It was also a windy one. Like a windy situation. All right, then. I would recommend keeping a low profile for the most part. Oh, and the house is trashed. Ebonald's house, super trashed.

Probably shouldn't go back. Probably should have told you on the way out to be mindful of your exit. Ebonald's been followed for quite some time. Yes. It's the Vanguard been followed for quite some time. Yes. It's the Vanguard folk. That's on me. I take responsibility for part of that.

Nevertheless. We plane riders can't be perfect all the time. Oh boy. Well, we'll take you back. What are you all off to, then? Trying to figure that out now. We desperately need to decide which one of these keys we're going to try to

destroy or at least take out of commission. Yeah, they seem to be working on a timetable. Less than a week. Talking about a week. The keys. Yeah. That's what he called the observatory. The machines, the keys. They're called keys?

She moves her finger towards me and goes, Ah, yes, the Malleus Keys. Malleus Keys. Damn. We really should have just put a time saver. What's a Malleus Key? I mean, why is it called that? Who, is that a person? You asking him the question? Yeah.

He goes, I don't know. I've just heard them referred to that as the Malleus Keys. Malleus Keys. Malleus Keys. The wind narrows her eyes. Huh. Well, your next maneuver, I guess, is what? Just so we don't overlap or concordinate.

Time is running thin, and I have a lot of things to do as well. Well, there is a location to the north of Eos here. Right. One in the Shadowfell, one in the Fae. Right. I guess we're wondering, maybe you could ask our new friend,

what's the softest target? What's the most important? Actually, that's a valid question. Was it Toldus? Yes, Toldus. Toldus, friend, lover, absolute family member of this fine troupe, if you would be so kind as to say,

which of these Malya's keys might be the most shaky? I don't know, the one that requires the most attention. As far as I know, the one here is near completion, but it's also the one that is the most attended. The first one built is the Fey one, but there's been some growing tension

between the Assembly and the court, and the vanguard's been working hard to maintain that before the event. Hmm. And the shadow one? Oh, I don't travel there. It sounds scary. Hmm. Okay.

Can they perform their trick with less than three? I don't know. I'm not the architect or the engineer. Can they perform their trick with less than three? I don't know. I'm not the architect or the engineer. To be perfectly honest, I'm a little out of my depth when it comes to the details of this. I'm just following the lead of Ludinus and others. If you could put in a good word for me, I'd really appreciate it. I want to try and impress them

on my way up the lattice. I'll do my best, you sweet, sweet darling. What a fucking idiot. Oh no! More Rin! Yeah. Rin is the best. Well, Rin, we were already debating and considering going to the Feywild first,

since we have a few contacts there. Unless you were thinking. You think they'd want to send us? Great. If you could maybe get us there? The challenge comes in my inability to, I'm the plane rider, of course I can get you there. It's my focus. It's what I do.

It's so funny. I'm a bit... Tapped. Not completely tapped for the evening. I can get us there today, have to rest for the night, and then I have to jet as soon as I finish resting. We do have a plus one we need to pick up.

Oh, we can't leave! Ashton! Maybe we do that tomorrow. Can we meet tomorrow to do that? Oh gosh, we're running out of time. We've got to find Ashton first, right? Should we message him? Of course. I'm out of messages. Oh. Oh!

I didn't take that spell today. I bet they're back. Oh, that's why you were being... I don't know how that's spelled today. Well, I would recommend find your friend rather quickly, and then let's get this on the road. I would be, and normally I'm a very patient person, but yeah, it's all still snapping faster and faster. So we need to get moving.

Would this have counted as a short rest while we have been in here? No. No, because I was detecting a box. No, this has been like casting spells and active DI. You could take an hour to do that, if you'd like. With an hour, I could get my sorcery points back and I could message Ashton.

Well, how about this? You take an hour break. You go ahead and figure out your friend. I will take that time to have myself an Yosin cheesesteak. It's been many years. I figure while I'm in town, at least I can indulge a moment

if there's anything else that can be done. Anyone else like a cheesesteak? Yes. I'll take one. That sounds delightful, actually. All right, I will grab a cheesesteak. All the cheese. Are you mad he's intolerant? I just don't want to get bloated.

Oh, no. I'll take one, too. All right. Adventurous. I'm curious to see what happens there. All right, you know what? I'll just get around for everyone. If you don't want it, I'll finish what's left. It's been a bit, and it's so delightfully greasy.

Gives me the chills. Yeah, I understand that. Protein. Yeah. Also a big risk there. Everything, really. Youin. Yeah. Also a big risk there. Everything, really. You just sit there for a bit and be a kind friend, don't you? Yes, of course, I'll just have a seat here

and stare at the wall for a moment. He just sits there and looks at the wall. Aw, they're so cute. And they're dumb. Anyway, lifts her arm into the air and the whole side of the warehouse door just goes, See you in an hour.

And turns about and just darts off into the city. She is really, really cool. Oh my god, she's something else. All right. What a morning. So we just sit and chill for an hour. We assassinate Ludinus, then we find Ashton. You think we can do that in an hour?

Yeah, how long would it take? I don't know. Fuck! Bitch! I'm always done to try. I love your tenacity, Chetney. Thanks. You're so admirable. Aim high. Yes. So Daleth is trying to...

Been sitting here on death. Yeah. Are we taking a short rest? Yes. Yes. Because I am a little bit of a mess, too, actually. I'm not feeling too good today, by the way. What do you mean? I'm just not doing so great.

I've been jittery all day. Do you need a massage? Are we going to? That would definitely help, like a deep tissue. Yeah, where's the camera? Are you feeling edgy like that one day? I am. I would maybe stay away from me for a while, just in case. Will a rest help you, or do you need to sleep?

I'll, but are we going straight into another plane of existence, our third of the day? Today. Nothing else we need to do here? We have to find Ashton. Well, yeah. That's really it. So I guess we don't know if we're leaving yet.

Because what if we call Ashton and he's like, I've got plans. They might. I'll be back. They might be doing something. And Eos, what are they doing? I don't know, you know Ashton. So enigmatic. Just gambling.

Probably. They just had the casino gambling this whole time. I also feel like they have friends everywhere. Yeah. I wish I had that many friends. But I just have you guys. Just? That's a lot. That's what I'm saying, that's all I need.

Aw. That's all I need. I don't need anybody else. I hope not. Although's all I need. I don't need anybody else. I hope not. Although the contacts seem handy. Short rest. All right. All right. Short rest! Hail to shitload.

I'll do one. Short rest. Feel like I'm a boo-boo. Boom! How are you doing? Mm. So. Also with your... You've got the blood vial, yeah?

Yes, I know. That's why I can recover the hit, the sorcery points. Oh yeah. That's great. Holy shit. Never do that. Six, seven. Five. Six, seven. Should we go back and close the loop on the lad in the house?

What? Nothing. Why am I rolling so many ones today? Wait, that's just 12. 16. 18, 15, 16, 17, 18. One, one. Oh, plus 16.

Exciting stuff happening right now. Yeah. Isn't it? Everybody's rolling hit dice. Yeah. This't it? Everybody's rolling the hit dice. Yeah. This is great. One unconscious dude in the kitchen, the other one in the basement was coming back from banishment.

So he definitely picked up his pal. Logic says likely neither of them are there right now. For a multitude of reasons. Beep, beep, beep. I get all of my Maybe you guys should go to the Fae without me. Why? Well, because there's like, we're so close to,

like, there's people here who can pop me open and find out who I am and where I came from and what I do and stuff like that. I'm so close. I feel like I can't be helpful to you if I don't know what I'm capable of or what I have done. Ooh! Gesundheit. Letters, the Cerberus Assembly

seems to be trying to outdo the age of Arcanum. You might not have a chance in a week. But... So close. We can come back. Yeah. All right. Do you want to go tonight?

Just do like a, be taken? What time of day is it, roughly? I'd say at this point, it's early afternoon, mid-afternoon, since you woke up, did the tour, went to the seminary, which is where you found the information about that professor that might be able to talk to you a bit.

You then went and staked out the house, broke in, had the fight, rushed off, and then got back to Osea. It's like mid-afternoon. What a day. This is a day. So when was the professor going to be back that you could?

I don't know. Professor, you were just given directions to where they were. Oh, so we could just go. Yeah, you might be catching them at the end of the day. Maybe they're feeling inquisitive. We got to find Ashton first, or at least know where they are. Sure.

Well, if it's been an hour, then I can send a message to Ashton. Okay. As you feel the restoration of that series of notes of arcane power within your body restored, the spell makes itself available to you. All right, I'm going to send a message to Alistair. Shit is going down. Where in the hell are you?

We need to meet up. Stat. We got to leave town. Stat. Stat. All I wanted to do was start that message with Ashton! It's so hard. It's me. It's me. The spell finds its hook in the mind of Ashton Graymoore and the response,

as we all pick up on the next session. Oh! Because then he can respond and we can pick up from whatever he's been off to at the time. I don't like it. I don't like it. Good! Ashton is lewdness-elect.

Fucking Cerberus Assembly trying to do a redo. Fucking destroyed the world and you want to go again? You know who I blame for this? Yeah. The Mighty Nein. Yeah. For not finishing the job when they had the chance. Unless we've got wrong information about what is actually going on with the man.

Well, it all tracks. He wanted the beacon. Remember the Mr. X, right? There have been many times where we were going after something like the Angel of Irons and it wasn't that shit at all. No. Matt would never do that to us. Great way to get a lot of zealous people to be like, kill the gods, set your destinies free, work with us. Also, Thule is doing stuff

not in line with the dipshit here. Not the party line. Well, Thule is doing, like what? in line with the dipshit here. Not the party line. Well, the oldest dude, like what? This guy didn't even trust Ira, right? Oh, yeah. No one trusts Ira. No one trusts Ira. Who's Ira?

Just a chaos agent. Yeah, he's just a free chaos agent. That can do shit, like really cool shit. But I mean, all this stuff that Ludinus and the servers assembly the Assembly were up to in campaign two, fascinated by the beacon. The beacon was all pre-divergence and shit like that. Pre, it was from the founding.

The beacon was pre-founding. Pre-founding. So it's pre-goss. According to their religion, the Luxon happened. How many trammels did we need against the Whispered One? 69. If I recall, the three was what was forged. I'll have to look into it again. It's been a few years.

That's just a comedy rule of threes. You know, it's deep lore dives like this that you can get on Foresighted Dive. Not this one. The most recent one is out right now. Yeah, check it out on YouTube. And of course, check out Current Recap by Danny Carr.

Also check out that Legend of Vox Machina season two trailer. Oh shit! Check it out. The actual episode. What else can we plug? We got a new puffy jacket. Yep.

Hey! Oh my god, let's get out of here. Let's leave, let's go home. Thank you all so much for joining us. We'll see you next time. Happy New Year! We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.

Oh hey, Ashley Johnson here, and I sure do hope you're enjoying the adventure. Remember when you first found out about Critical Role? Was it through a friend or a family member or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast? Many listeners find our show through word of mouth and recommendations. So please consider rating and reviewing our podcast because each review makes an impression that may just inspire someone new to give our show a try and that more than anything helps to support us thank you for joining us on this adventure and until next time let us try to leave the world a little better than we found it