Critical Role - C3E56 By Goat or By Boat

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Bells Hells' Team Wildemount travel through the cursed Savalirwood as they attempt to locate the ruins of the corrupted city Molaesmyr... Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources Watch Critical Role Campaign 3 live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, watch the broadcast on our Twitch channel. Twitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and 4-Sided Dive. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & Google Podcasts following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges and the ability to post links in Twitch chat! "It's Thursday Night (Critical Role Theme Song)" by Peter Habib and Sam RiegelOriginal Music by Omar Fadel and Hexany Audio"Welcome to Marquet" Art Theme by Colm McGuinnessAdditional Music by Universal Production Music, Epidemic Sounds, and 5 AlarmCharacter Art by Hannah Friederichs

Hello, bees! This is Laura Bailey, here to welcome you to the Critical Role podcast. If you'd like to tune into the show as it airs, you can watch Critical Role Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. Our lovely Twitch subscribers can view the episode on demand right away. Or you can find it on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. And of course, for all you fantastic podcast listeners, Critical Role episodes hit feeds on Thursday mornings, a week after the episode first airs. With all that said, let's get into another episode of Critical Role. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role,

where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're the nerdy-ass voice actors! We are mostly around the table right now. Marisha, actually, when we were filming this, is getting ready to go fight. We don't know at the time of the filming whether she wins or loses, but either way, it was awesome, whatever it was. She won! She won! Totally. She won! Amazing fight. It was so good.

Lowest trade is on both sides. So proud. She won! She won! Totally. She totally won. It was so good. Lowest trade on both sides. And regardless of how it ended, we're proud of her. She won. But she won. But to that point, we do have some announcements to get through tonight, beginning with our first of the night sponsor, NordVPN.

NordVPN. Sam, where is all your hacker stuff? Oh, man, no, non, non, Matthew. For the new Nord sponsorship comes a brand new concept. No, no. Introducement, Nordo the Magnificent. No! C'est moi.

I am the second greatest magician in all ze monde. You're the second greatest. I will not talk about Twilight Charm. Okay, what does, but what, tell me, what does magic have to do with NordVPN, Sam? Because... I broke it already. Because NordVPN is magic. Say you are traveling to Montreal, for example. NordVPN encrypts your internet connection

and hides your IP address and location, giving you peace of mind to enjoy your vacation. Nordo will demonstrate. This is you without NordVPN. And this is you with NordVPN. Voila! So free! so unencumberment. I'm not sure I follow. Oh la la, NordVPN makes you safer

and more private online, almost as if... What? You disappear completely. Are we on Twin Peaks right now? I can still see the plane. It was under that green piece of paper. Later, when it airs, they'll remove it, digital-mon. We'll remove it, yeah.

Also, when you use NordVPN, if you use NordVPN when you're making your travel plans, you can actually save on holiday bookings. C'est vrai! This is a plane ticket. See this expensive plane ticket with NordVPN? The ticket price has been slashed to pieces. And the same goes for car rentals, hotels, et cetera.

You're sure the editors are going to take Kyle out of the game? Oui, oui, oui. That's the magic of Nordo the Magnificent. Try NordVPN risk-free for a 30-day money-back guarantee at nordvpn.com slash Critical Role and get an extra four months free on a new two-year plan. And now, I disappear.

Whoa. Matt, cognac to you! I am stuck with probably nothing! My body is screaming. Kyle! That was cool. Love you, Kyle. Second sponsor of the night, D&D Beyond. Track D&D Beyond subscription for 30 days now

and get the Dungeons & Dragons Honor Among Thieves character portrait frames unlocked in your account. Be sure to check out dndbeyond.link slash crsub in order to explore this deal further. Laura, we got some merch stuff to talk about, I believe. Yes, I do. We have a midst logo t-shirt! Oh, yes! Oh, my god! As well as a midst enamel pen.

Wet, wet, wet, wet. Ooh, it's so sparkly, check it out! In addition to that, also watch midst. Listen to it. Listen to it. Oh wait, did I put it? Yes, I put it here. Okay. We have, you guys, this has been in the works for a very long time, and I'm very excited to show you this Beauregard tiki mug. It's so cute. That's really cute. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I partnered with Beeline Creative on their popular line of Geeky Tiki's collectible drinkware. And it goes with our Borobar coasters and our Borobar magnet, if you guys remember those. That's cool, I love that. So. We're gonna send a Pixie Bells one.

A little coconut, and there's a rumble cusp on the back. Oh, come on, I love it. Check it out! Home of Traveler Con and the many hidden decks. In addition to that, I know who's gonna get the many hidden decks. In addition to that, I know who's going to get to take these home. In addition to that, we have these fabulous Jorhasian Dices.

It's our Jorhas dice set. Ooh, I want to see. By Jordan, Torrin. Wait, hold on, I'm opening it. What am I supposed to, what are you pointing at? Good job, Jordan, Torrin. Yes, I was saying it! Check them out! They are very heavy dice.

They're very heavy in their iridescent. Look at them online, because you probably can't see it with what I'm doing. Listen to how heavy they are. Ooh! That's got some heft to it. I should do it higher. Don't plus it in post, it's okay.

Now that was way softer. Trust me, they're heavy and they're pretty and anyway, check them out. Hell yeah. In addition to that, our official, Good job, Ashley. That one was heavy.

Natural 19. Slick. Natty 19? Our official Critical Role cookbook! Yay! Exquisite Exandria is coming August 29th. Ooh! I'm going to pass this to Sam to talk about. Oh, we do have a cookbook featuring 60 delicious dishes

from across Exandria, including Lord Eshteroshish maple ginger cookies, written by Liz Marsham, with recipes developed by Jesse Zefjec, Susan Vu, and Amanda Yee. I'm just realizing how weird it is that I passed it to you to do all of this because I think they didn't want me to. But also, no one showed me the pronunciations of anything ahead of time, but I'm going with it. It includes a foreword from Quian Tran and Sam Riegel. Ooh! I helped write the foreword? Styrofoam on your head.

Yeah, you want it on your hand. Cover illustration is by Kent Davis. Pre-order Exquisite Exandria and find the recipe for Lord Eshteross' maple ginger cookies. Is that them right there? Right there. Find those over at criticalrolebooks.com, a URL that we own.

Wow! This is a real book! It's really crazy that it exists. Would you like one, Matthew? I would love one. Oh my god. Oh my god, it's good! I'll have a bite. Eshteross, he knows what he's doing.

We're going to eat him throughout the whole game. We also, for those who weren't privy to or haven't had a chance to check it out yet, we dropped some really exciting announcements on our first-ever State of the Press today. Oh! The Tal'Dorei campaign setting, Reborn, is now available in French on DriveThruRPG and Roll20.

Mais oui! There you go. Oh no. Sorry! Darrington Press will also be at Gen Con this year. We're not doing a live show, but don't worry, you'll be able to find us on the showroom floor where you'll get a special look at a brand new game.

Wean by Midnight. Yeah! Which is an amazing board game. And it has a built-in clock tower that works and helps you play the game. It's really cool, you should check it out. It's designed by our very own Kyle Shire. Kyle Shire!

We walked out of the park. You might have seen Kyle earlier. It's really great! There you go. Just a floating head. Yeah. And you heard about two, that's right, two new RPG systems that we've had in the works

for quite some time, Daggerheart and Illuminated Worlds. Oh my god! It's all really freaking cool, and go check it out over right now at our YouTube channel. Check it out, check it out. Check it out, check it out. Check it out, check it out. It's really cool. Liam and Taliesin, you got something to talk about, too?

Jeez, that was a big announcement you just gave. Let's go back to the beginning. I think we're back to the beginning. I think we got to roll it back. Back to the start. We are announcing our upcoming Chronicles of Exandria art book. Let's go back to the beginning. I think we're back to the beginning. Back to the start. I think we gotta roll it back. Roll it back. We are announcing our upcoming Chronicles of Exandria art book. We are going back to the beginning and bringing out this segment. Oh!

It's our first baby and not our last. Curated by Lauren Ipsum, me, him, and featuring a whole host of wonderful artists from the worldwide Critter community. Love you all. Coming this May to CritRoll shops, Darrington Press Guild stores, and other friendly local game stores, this book is as beautiful as the day it was born.

Also, it doubles as a flotation device when you clutch it so close. Look at that Joe Mad art on the cover, Joe. All right, we love you. I've missed it so much. I'm so glad for people who've missed it the first time that it's coming back around. It's amazing. Yep. Yep.

Look at that. Look at the little giant impressive now. Where it all began. Oh boy. I love it. Bibby! And I think with that, that concludes our announcements. These are wonderful.

So. Yeah, these are. Let's go ahead and bring ourselves into tonight's episode of Critical Role. Critical. Critical. It's Thursday night. One by one we climb until we reach the top.

Two by two we climb until we reach the top Two by two we fall Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? Hold your breath and roll How do you want to do this? It's Thursday night All ye critters come join us It's time to continue our flight There is magic and mystery, who knows what will happen, he might

But one thing's for sure, we never give up on the fight From the healer to the renegade, we all share the same goal. Adding more allies, taking more chances, hold your breath and roll. You can certainly try. It's Thursday night. All ye critters come join us, it's time to continue our flight. It's Thursday night. All ye Critters, come join us, it's time to continue our flight! There is magic and mystery from darkness, our friendship will rise!

But one thing's for sure, we never give up on the fight! Oh, get ready, it's Thursday night! And welcome back. So, last we left off, half of Bell's Hells and some new companions have traversed the interior of Uthodurn, righted some challenges that arose in the reverberations caused by the Apogee Solstice and the events that occurred under Ludinus Deleuze Marquette. In doing so, you gained the favor of the Diarchy of Uthodurn. You dealt with some of Chetney's past

within the toy store that he once worked within. And upon learning a bit about, trying to learn some more about your histories as a Ormatans, and in doing so, found a common friendship and bond of emotion or beyond. Sacks. Me too. of emotion or beyond. Sex. Say the quiet part out loud. After speaking with the king and queen of Uthodurn

and asking about Ludinus, discovered that indeed Ludinus existed within the city of Molaesmyr, where most of the elves who lived within this city and joined the dwarves here in Uthodurn fled from in its destruction, as well as learning that within the ruins there, perhaps there may be remnants of his past within,

as he had within the city the Guildhollow Tower that he resided within before its destruction and fall. Since you have no means of escaping the continent at the moment, as nobody with the capabilities of teleportation has returned since the solstice began, you've gathered yourselves some flat-capped goats, and you've begun your trek towards Savalirwood in hopes of uncovering some information.

That goat has a cold. So we have Deanna atop the very fluffy Jerry. We have Chet upon his big boy muskie. We have FCG with a very pretty goat named Fabio. Imogen, a dove gray one named Belle. Frida has a scrawny, rough-looking goat named Patchwork. And Fearne has a round boy named Donny Boy. Donny Boy!

MATT and LAURA, with you being, I'm on the cold, hard ground. Waiting for it. Materials gathered. Trek begun. Trek begun. We're already begun. The gentle snowfall begins to drizzle upon

the Flockhead Alps, gather across the beautiful Whitecap Mountains around as you begin to head to the southwestern direction here. Hoping to skirt past the Crystal Sands tundra. He's going to kill us if we're going to calm down! Every third word is something. Oh, I'm making notes here, don't worry. No!

Well, at the record show, I've been very good. There's just more hit points to whatever the next thing you fight is. Oh! So about 200 miles southwest of Uthodurn is the ruins of Molaes Myr through the Savalirwood. You are three days via goat across the Alps. That's three days of travel across the mountains.

For each day, I would like somebody of your troop to go ahead and roll a d20. So for the first day of travel, who would like to make the fateful roll? Oh, ladies first. Oh no! Chivalry is the most important thing. If it's not another 20, okay, it's fine. We're going to be great. We're going to be great.

Is it 12? Beautiful. Okay, okay. The gentle snow remains gentle, and what little bit of clouds above that go ahead and gently shake down the white snow upon you, the blue sky creeping through in cracks. It is a beautiful and very effective day of travel as you traverse a good chunk of the Alps themselves

and then bed down within your encampment for an evening's rest. Unless anybody has anything they wish to do for the evening, we can go ahead and roll for the second day of travel, if we'd like. I will roll on my brand new Dogmite dice tray. Ooh! So beautiful, so beautiful.

Oh, what's the colors? I got a five. That's really cool. No! Yes! It's because you just dropped it. That's the kind of number I want. I just want to see if I can see the red moon. If I catch a glimpse of the red moon.

Make a perception check. Yeah. I call for you. Oh man, I'll use this one, that's fine. 28. 28. Jesus. You feel pretty confident

that if it was somewhere within the sky, you would see it, but it has not been visible in the sky since you began looking for it. You can still see the gentle trails of the colors of the ley lines drifting overhead, still locked in place many days after the solstice began, and long past the three-day window it was meant to be maintained.

But the fact that you cannot see it in the sky means that it must be elsewhere in the world. And the fact that you can't see it means that it's definitely a round world. There's just a limit to how far you can see before dust and clouds and stuff. Right, like a PS1 fog distance. Got it, yeah.

Did we pass a lake at any point while we were traveling? I want to prove that the world is round by showing him the curvature of the earth via tree. The Ivory Lake is ahead, but I don't know if we can see it yet. Maybe tomorrow? Coming around to the flat via trade. The Ivory Lake is ahead, but I don't know if we can see it yet. Ugh. Maybe tomorrow? All right. I'm coming around to the Flat Earth here.

No! No! He makes a lot of sense. Do not get degraded. The ties by the rope. I mean, it's, it's, it's, I get it, I get it. I've heard crazier things. We don't see the end of it.

You know, in every relationship, you want to give and take, and this is a way of Frida giving a little bit. You guys are just an inspo. Just like, so great. We're all equally supported. Are you drunk? Is this happening? I'm going to milk your goat.

I have. Yummy. Nice answer. You just had no hesitation. Straight up. Yes, and? You got a no, bud, a couple times. So second day's journey,

a little more harrowing, but overall doesn't slow you along the path. The snowfall gets a bit thicker, but nothing to actually impede the rate in which you are traversing the Alps themselves. Your second of your third day's journey across the mountain range comes to an end for an evening's encampment.

Unless somebody else has any business to do for the evening, we can roll for the third day. Who would like to take up the next roll? Frida. Okay, fine. Roll dead. It's just a lot of responsibility. You're doing so great. Oh no.

Did I do it? You did it, you did it, you did it. Why are you like that? Oh no. Okay, go ahead and roll a d6 for me, if you don't mind. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, Frida! Ancient White Dragon.

Ancient White Dragon. Please. Ancient White Dragon. Oh my gosh. One. I thought I just got to come back. Five. Five, okay. I thought you had to tap a button or a bug. You mean, Matthew, push a fucking button?

I'd like to take this moment to remind everyone that resurrection spells are not working. Stop it! Oh shit. The snowfall begins to thicken. I should have thought of that. And as you push in the direction you think you're traveling in directly,

your vision becomes harder and harder as the hefty elements of a coming blizzard begins to intersect with your journey. The wind grows heavier and howling. Eventually, you can't see more than just beyond a few hundred feet, and you have to buckle down for the storm to pass. Cold as you are, you do lose a day's worth of journey.

And as you lose the warmth of what little bit of sunlight is coming through the storm, you have to carve out an embankment to protect yourselves from the harshness of the elements as you attempt to rest through the night. I would like everybody to roll a constitution saving throw for me, please. Storm shelter. I did.

I have no apologies for you. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Constitution save? 20. Yep. All right, so I'll apologies for you. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. What's the t-shirt say? 20. All right, so we'll start over here. Imogen. I rolled a one, and you know, I'm going to say. You don't have to explain it. I'm going to say it,

because my new outfit, I designed with no pants. So I think I'm cold. You don't have any pants? I got shorts, I still got shorts. They're cute little shorts under a very sheer dress. You are Marquette ready. Yes, but look, see, here's the thing. I learned from Mica that if you're dressed hot,

you can't get cold. That's the truth. That is the very best vote. Hoes don't get cold. Hoes don't get cold. We don't get cold. So I think I should get advantage. We'll come back to you. We'll come back to you. Frida. 20. 20?

20. As an aramaton, and one who's been stalking the snowy wilderness surrounding Uthoderm for some time, no issue at all. You actually help the rest of the troop find and solidify a better shelter for the evening. I'll give my jacket to Imogen. All right.

Thank you, Frida. You're welcome. You look a little cold. I'm really not. I'm fine. I'm just going to wrap his coat around my legs. Perfect. It looks so good. It looks so good. It's totally worth it. Fearne. 21.

21. You as well. You come built in with your own fur patch. I have a full fur coat. You and the goats are shaking off the snow and getting ready to settle up for the evening. Drinking milk. Again! FCG, what is your roll?

21. 21. Your goat's name is Donny Boy. Double-letter. Yeah, you have to talk about it as a boy goat. I'm just going to, now that Frida... Now that Frida doesn't have a bear card at all, I'm going to take off my new coat and give it to Frida.

Okay. No! That's sweet. Thank you, I'm serious. Deanna. 14! 14. You also, as a hardy gnome who has lived in this area for quite some time, snow doesn't have much of an effect on you.

11. 11. You, however, whether it be just the excitement of the knowledge, you almost wanted to prove that you could bear these elements to that issue, though you've been away from them for quite some time, and the chill cuts through a little more than you expect. The rest of you rest well, but I will say,

both Imogen and Chetney over here take two points of exhaustion. Two points! Whoa! From the chill of this stark blizzard carving through the Alps. Oh my god. Dude, I got a little too deep V on my plunge.

I'll give it a little zip up, and I hate to hold back all this sweet chest hair, but. Exhaustion, two. Fearne! Yeah? Sit on me! Okay. Hoo! That's what it means.

Can you remind us what the second level of exhaustion means? I believe second level of exhaustion is... Feet half. And. You're like me now. And a bit of this, right? of exhaustion rate? I believe second level of exhaustion is... Speed halved. And abilities, right? You're like me now. Welcome to 15 feet of movement, motherfucker. It is speed halved. Does it stack? Speed halved. So is it also disadvantage on ability?

Yeah, that's the first one. You get both together. Oh shit. Oh, so speed halved and disadvantage. And disadvantage. Speed halved is the second point, and then disadvantage on ability checks is the first point.

Is it on here? Oh yeah. So is it a crazy idea to just take the day to sort of recuperate, or do we press on? We need to keep moving. Okay. Yeah. All right, thankfully, your goats travel for you, and they seem to be fine in this weather.

Good. Great. As long as we don't run into something tonight, we should be fine. So, what was the third day of travel is a lost cause, but now on your fourth day of travel and your last day across the mountain range, I would like somebody else to roll another d20 for this journey.

Would I be at disadvantage if I rolled? No, this isn't an ability check. This is just a general luck of the world around you along your journey. I've got good motivation to move fast, so. Oh no. We could have called that. Oh man.

I rolled another one. You did? You should just leave now! Oh no! This is ruthless! We're never going to make it to the woods! Hey, Laura. Roll a d6 for me.

No! No! You can only redeem yourself with another one. Stop it, stop it. Three. Three. I got so nervous. All right. Donny Boy comes over and he's like,

do you want some? Is Donny Boy the goat from the witch? Ferd's forgiving me, and I've played a sense of ego. What does the goat say in the witch? Wouldst thou like the taste of butter? Oh! That was too fast!

That was too fast! You guys are being attacked. Oh no! Did I say black bard? Black wizard? Oh my god. Black fiend. That was so fast. Oh no.

No, you are trekking down through the final descent of the final outside mountain range of the Flockhead Alps, as you begin to cruise down in a zigzag formation through an opening, like a half-valley that spills out into what now is the surrounding village landscape. By the way, I did find the map. It rolled over there, so you do have that.

Yay! Aw. That's beautiful. Doesn't matter, because we're lost. We're so lost. Going there. Fuck. And roll another d6. Lices.

Oh no. Oh boy. That's okay. Good thoughts. Cool. Three again. Three, all righty. Three is safe, that's good. What's your armor class, FCG?

It's actually improved recently, and I don't remember why. It's an 18. That's what sex does. It's an 18? 18. As you're all clumping through the snow, as it crunches beneath the hooves of the goats

as they descend, this little sound. This. Boom! You watch as FCG is just all of a sudden removed from the top of Fabio. You hear the sound of an impact, like a heavy crunch sound, as you just get flung about 20 or so feet.

Ah! You watch as the snow begins to build around FCG and whatever struck them. About 20 feet, you eventually come to a stop. You feel this intense impact on you as you take... What? Take...

18 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh! No! Giggly muggly. Okay. Ouch. Ow! Theogly moogly, okay. Ouch. Ow! The rest of you, seeing this happen, glance around and you can see on the two sides of this small valley carved through the mountain,

there are two large humanoid figures on the sides. One of them ducks down below, while the other one lifts up a massive rock and goes to fling it a second time. Oh shit. What do you do? Shoot, shoot, shoot. I cast, I cast,

hold on, I know what I have it. Shit ball, sorry. I forget how everything works. We're goats, we could probably outrun them. Yes, but I'm going to cast Telekinesis. You're all without me. Okay. I'm going to cast Telekinesis.

Okay, so you cast Telekinesis. On the rock. Okay, so the rock, it's about 120 feet from you at the moment. You and me on the rock. Then I'm going to use a sorcery point to double the distance. Okay. And they go ahead and

and you now see these are these massive humanoid figures. They look like people, but they have white, long, stringy hair, bits of patchwork armor on, a pale gray-blue skin, and they're massive. From what you can just see, the one that stands up, you can see the waist up, and they are, proportionally, it's hard to see for a moment,

but they look bigger than a person. Are they fucking giants? Could be. Oh god. About 120 feet from you. The other one's about 70 feet, the one that just threw it, about 60 feet, actually. This one, gives a big, bassy scream as they throw the rock,

and the rock just sits there and hangs in the air. Nice. Nice. I want to yell at that one. Go away! I'm making my way to Epsom. Should we run? Yeah! We're galloping. What are you doing?

Not good. 10! You see it now stands up at its full height and pulls this massive ax out of the side of some hanging leather holster. Oh, yeah! What's the distance? What's the distance?

You're going to throw it back at him. You're going to throw it back? At his head. At his head. At 120 feet. 120 feet. And it's closing quickly. We got to go! You go ahead and chuck at him? Chuck it at his head. Okay, so for that...

Chuck it. Should I chuck it at his head or his feet? Doesn't matter. You're the one! Chuck it at his feet! I want to try to trip him. Okay, I want to go ahead and roll a... Go ahead and roll an attack roll with disadvantage because you are exhausted. Aw, dang.

Wait, wait, wait. That should just be for ability checks, not attack rolls. That's true, actually. It is just ability checks. Because it's not ability check. I'm looking at it. So sad. Because technically,

this is a spell attack modifier, so you're correct. So yeah, so go ahead and roll. Regular roll with your spell attack modifier added to it. That shouldn't count, but it was a natural 20. Too bad, you already said it doesn't count. Roll again, roll again. What? No, 19 plus 12.

That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll 4d10 for me. Ooh! Wow, that's a lot. 4d10? Another reason why we should get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that's a lot of damage. One, two, three, four. That's not a d10, but that's, I'll say, no, hold on.

I'll roll the right thing. Great. Six plus 16. What was this on before it knocked it? I didn't see it. Six plus 16 is 12. Just roll it again. Yeah.

Okay. Six plus six is 12, plus 10 is 22. 22 plus your, so that's 27 points of damage. So one of these massive things, and as you see, it comes charging down the decline towards you. Axe rushed out. This big, massive, scraggly white beard.

You can almost immediately imagine the smell of its proximity. As it lifts its ax and begins going into this full charge, crack right in the face. The boulder that it threw that stopped reverses and hits it, and it falls lifts its ax and begins going into this full charge, crack right in the face. The boulder that stopped reverses and hits it and it falls on its back and begins to sled down in your direction. It certainly is. Must go faster! Must go faster! We got to go!

While that's been happening, I pick up FCG and make our way back to your goat. Okay. Eh, eh, eh. I'm going to try to hit the brown guy with the guiding bolt, just to double tap. Go. I'm going to try to hit the ground guy with a guiding bolt, just to double tap. Go for it.

So he is prone, technically, because he fell to the ground from the impact, so he has disadvantage on the attack roll. Yeah, that sucks. Could I? Nah, it's all good. We're fine. We're fine. That's fine. 16? 16 hits.

Cool. It's a big broadside of a bar in this fella. Yeah. Kind of tobogganing in your direction. 19 points. 19 points of damage, you got it. All right, so as you go ahead and turn around, as the goats are running,

trying to pick up all the goats, pick up speed and start clambering down the mountain as fast as they can, some of them pull their legs in and start sliding themselves. Oh, nice! You can watch as this is their instinctual way of getting away fast from predators.

One after another, they begin to buckle down and go into a sledding formation as well. So the one that you strike, starts glowing with bright light and is trying to stop himself from sliding out of control, but is starting to catch into the groove that you've set behind and has now become

the Indiana Jones boulder of a person behind you. Well, the other one is going to try and chuck another rock that it picked up. It's not giving chase at the moment yet. I still got it up, it lasts. All right, this is going to be, because if you're running with them? Yeah, I'm on the goat, going backwards.

I'll say go ahead and just roll a spell attack for me. Hit the glow boy, hit the glow boy. You have advantage if you hit the glow boy. Six plus 12 is what? 18. You're fine. Yeah, so the other rock flings it over in your direction. You get the sense that it's probably going to be going for you since you're the one that cast

the most visually bright impact on his friend. He has no idea that you attacked him. The rock came back and hit him. It's so weird. Throws the rock at you, and you watch as the rock floats in the air once more, as you're all just Down at the guy that's already on the ground. Down at the guy that's already on the ground. Okay, roll with advantage to strike him.

Imogen, I love you. Oh god. Oh! 20! Natural 20 or just? Natural 20! All right, so roll a 40, 10, and double it for me. Whoa! Wait, wait, wait, oh, real good.

Yeah. Okay, that's not bad. That's important to lose. You have a Patel bell. 18. 22 again. 22 times two is 44. 44 plus your spell time, that's 49 points of damage.

Damn. Holy crap. So the one that's sliding now behind you, he has his arms in front of him and is now, went from that fearful look to now using the sliding moment to catch up to you and leans forward a bit and starts putting his arms out to try and grab whoever's at the back. Right as he shifts in this position,

big old gnarly open mouth, missing jagged teeth in the bottom row of his jaw, gets hit from behind the back of the head by the rock as you catch it and slam it into him. The rock sets off into the snow and begins to slide slowly as well. You can, at this point from the impact here, the other giant is now trying to give chase

and is in the process of running behind. Throw something behind us or something. Like that tree! Jacks and oil slick, something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have some cow drops. The one that's sliding is skidding slowly and has really got his belt wrong on that second hit.

If it's been long enough, I can try to telekinesis on the other guy's feet. I got nothing to throw. I'm going to try to grab his feet and just hold him in place so he trips on his own feet. Okay, all right. You can indeed try and move our huge creature. So make an ability check.

With your spell cast, this is an advantage. Little Lessa bobsled. So that would be 15. 15. He rolled a four plus six, 10. Yes! That's a success. Sweet! So you, there's one that's sliding

that you just beam in the head with the rock. The other one is catching up as the goats are starting to pick up speed. The original slide isn't that fast, but you can see they'll gain, but unfortunately, at a double run with the gait of this massive frost giant, it's going to catch up to you quickly.

It does these lumbering leap, leap, leap, and just stays in the air. Incredible, incredible. Extremely confused and infuriated as you are just now holding it aloft. Whoa. Ten more touch! Ten more touch! Incredible. Extremely confused and infuriated as you are just now holding it aloft. Whoa. Ten more touch!

Ten more touch! Sook! Flying off! Does the full tossed raccoon? Kind of like, Yep, just his whole arm splayed. Off the side of the groove of this mountain range, out of sight, while the other sliding one

is still kind of falling behind, kind of watches this happen and looks confused. By about this point, the goats are picking up speed and are kind of matching the speed of the giant that's sliding behind you. So it's about 50 or so feet behind you, but still kind of keeping up with you just based on the descent down the mountain.

I'm going to throw a Calm Emotions at it. Maybe I can make it call off the hunt. Okay, that's a wisdom saving throw. It is. Charisma, 15. Charisma. That's a 14. Hey! Amazing. What does that do?

I suppress strong emotions in a group of people. That's just one. So I'm just going to say, hey, hey, it's okay. Just rest, relax. It's all good. Good in the hood. Okay.

So unfortunately, this guy is a giant, not a humanoid. I thought humanoid just means means two arms, two legs. Yeah, exactly! That's what I thought! All right! Shoulder, neck, you know? Human stuff. As you tell him to calm down, the striking icy blue eyes

that are starting to glare in the direction of you and your troop. Scorching Ray. Go ahead and roll. Okay. He's starting to stop from the slide and go into a lumbering run now that he's picked up his gravity at this point. 18. 18 hits? Yes.

So you have two more strikes. I'm a melee fighter, don't look at me. 13. 13 misses. And 21. That hits, so two hits. That's 4d6 fire damage. Okay.

The little teeth. Aw, I forgot about the teeth. They didn't roll very well this time. Okay, all right. 14 points of damage. 14 points of fire damage. Continues to run, but you can see, between the two rocks, you can see the blood

dripping down the front of its head and the back of its head from the two impacts. Now it has these giant scorch marks on the front of its chest armor, one on its neck. It's like, you can see it starting to look a little like, what am I doing? What? What?

What are you doing? What are you doing? I'll turn around on the goat and try and gain some, or try and lock aim on him, and I'm going to shoot at his knees, both of his knees. Okay, all right. You're riding backwards in the saddle? Yeah. I think what I'll do is

try and hold up on the goat and pull behind FCG and turn around. And spin around on the saddle? You got it. It's about, at this point, because it hasn't really been slowed down, it's kept at the gates about 60 or so feet from you. That's good.

It's like running down the mountain, almost like when you start running down the side of a sand dune at the beach. So this guy's probably going to catch up to you and then eat shit with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 20. 20 hits. You yeah. It's a double. 20. 20 hits.

You can roll damage on this. 2d8. How tall is this creature? We're going to say about, now that it's getting closer and you can see the height, close to 15, 16 feet. What does he put on his Tinder profile? Oh, like 20, too.

Yeah. 12 plus six. 30, 15, 16, 17, 18. 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage. And then I'll take the second shot. Go for it, take the second shot. At both knees. That hits, 17 plus lots, 12. Yeah, roll damage a second time.

Sorry, short king! 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. I'll Action Surge for a third shot. Fuck yeah! Okay. Woo! Destroy him! And I will burn a grip point

and make that a deadeye shot so that I have advantage on it. You got it, go for it. Let me just make sure that I mark this off. That's my hunk of metal. You got it, baby. Okay, here we go. Is this yours? This is advantage, right? Yes, indeed.

19-plus stuff. Yeah, it definitely hits. 2d8 plus six. Just like a. 10 points, another 10 points. Another 10 points damage, you got it. Yes! All right. So as it's charging,

you hear the blast of the gun go off and an echo through the nearby mountain. And with that one knee blasts in a flash of dark red. The giant falls to that one knee just as you blast the other one and falls back onto both of its knees, now leaving a trail of red in the snow. And the third one hits it in the chest.

You watch as it puts its hand out and begins to slow itself, digging into the rock and dirt behind. You begin to gain the lead on it as it slowly, as you leave it behind, it gets back up onto its feet. So it's lumbering back up the mountain where the other one just got back up and its feet. It starts lumbering back up the mountain where the other one just got back up and just goes,

. You feel bad for them? Well, they just wanted dinner. Fuck them. You're bad people and you should feel bad. Keep trying, you'll get there. Stop it! The goats continue their slide,

just arms and legs all curled up, just scooting down the side of the mountain before eventually coming to rest at the base of the mountain range. Don't do letters. Eh-eh. That's the face, too. This always has the head lift with it.

Yeah. You come and crest at the bottom, just on the outskirts of the Ivory Lake, and you can see the massive lake itself, the crystal waters surrounding the space there. A little bit of frost gathered at the edge, it looks like it's been in the process of a melt. The river continues in an eastern direction,

as well as in a southwestern direction, the direction you're going. And you can see it disappear into the mass gray, purple, relatively ominous-looking forest that consumes the majority of the southwest direction across the Grangwell Islands. Is the water flowing? The water is flowing in the direction you're traveling.

So we should lash the goats together and make a goat boat. Stop. Don't you think? I mean, that's a natural goat boat. I'm just going to pat you on the shoulder. I'll cast Cure Wounds, but. Oh, thank you. Can I swim?

I think goats can swim. We could make a little platform on top of them and have a stadium. On our map, the ruins of Molaesmyr, are they at this fork? Correct. What a nice map! So if we're here at the lake,

just to entertain the goat boat idea, we could roll down the river and it would take us straight to this fork, which is exactly where we're going. I don't know if the goats would survive or us, but. You can't float a goat. I'm going to talk to Donny Boy. Go ahead. Oh.

You can float a goat. I'm going to try to, whatever that would be. No, that's not animal handling. Speak with animals. Well, speak with animals is a spell or ability. Do you have that? I think a water. You're just making sign language up.

Yeah, I've done this before and I forget. Why would I not have speak with animals as my favorite thing that I wanted to do? Couldn't you wild shape into a goat and then talk to them? Well, also, if you've had a few days of travel, if you wanted to have taken the spell as one of your friends. Oh, yes, let's do that.

Also, I have to speak with animals if you want. Is it fun? Sure. Or maybe you could ask them if they'd be into it. I want you to have a conversation. FCG, are you okay? You took a bit of a tumble there. Deanna just healed me up, so I'm okay, but thank you for asking.

According to Google, some domestic goats love water play. Domestic? It doesn't say that they float. A turbulent river? That's freezing. This says, oh, this says, meandmygoats.com. Nope, nope. Whatever it is, you've got to stop.

Stop, please. Nope, nope. It says goats do float. Oh, all right, well maybe I don't need it. Alive? Let me try. Clarification. And if they float, they're a witch.

Goats float in the water. Their ancestors were able to swim across large bodies of water, and goats have retained this ability. Everyone was rude to me. A Paris vacation. Hey, Donny boy. Yeah?

We were thinking. No. Love him. We were thinking of possibly making a goat boat. Okay. So. Buddy! I think what that would entail is either tying you all together,

or you each bite the tail of the goat in front of you. Like a goat centipede? Yeah, just like that. Just like that. And then we just float down the river. I don't know if that's something you guys would be in. Can you swim? I fell into the water once,

and I was able to get out okay, yeah. I haven't done it as a group of them, but we can do that. We can do it? Okay. I think we can do it. I think we can do the goat boat. If you're down, the water might be cold, but you've got all the fluff, so.

I mean, yeah, as long as we don't get wet, I think we'll be all right. Oh, baby. Are there any logs around? We could put them. Maybe just have the goat stand on logs. Well, no, I was going to say, just put them on the sides of the goat boat.

If there's logs around, though, why don't we just use the logs? Well, but the goats can paint. Are there any traces of ice floating in the Ivory Lake? Little bits of ice that are there, they're very thin. It looks like most of the lake has been melted. There's just elements of frost and thin ice that still exists.

It's cold as fuck. They're goats! They live in the winter! No, they're not seals! They won't survive 30-degree water! Well, are there any trees laying around? Any logs or trees laying around? Not laying around, but there are trees, some that look like they're healthy,

some that look like maybe they've either fallen to disease or other means. There are bits of wood that can be fashioned with some time, yeah. With some time. Mr. Pock-a-pee? Yes? We want to see if maybe we can find some similarly measurable pieces of wood

and tie some things together. Boiled pieces of wood? Craft a raft together. Boy, pieces of wood. Craft a raft. Craft a raft. As opposed to the goat boat. Let me get to sniffing. And I'll look for pieces of wood and bark that I know are particularly buoyant,

given their composition and structure. I'll cast Guidance on you. And I'll follow his direction and help him out. We'll try and find some more. Okay. So go ahead and roll Survival for this. Oh, but I'm exhausted as fuck. Yeah, but he gives you advantage because he's helping, so it's just a straight roll.

Straight roll, baby! And you get Guidance. What does that mean? Plus d4. Listen, I don't play this game. So am I, so am I. I never get to cast Guidance because everyone here has it.

18! Yeah! Good. Should we tell your entire group has silvery barbs and it be... 17 plus one for 18 survival. I've been on your side of that. So is the total?

18 total. 18 total. All right, yeah. You've been a connoisseur of driftwood and other wayward bits of fallen tree that could be reconstituted into something useful. So indeed, you find along the outside of the lake, not far from where you initially touched down from your chase, a number of trees that have either fallen

or could be rather rapidly fallen and then made into some buoyant, small-scale raft with some hours to spare. Amazing, Frida. If you do me a favor, that tree, that tree, that tree, if you could just timber those, that would be great. Sure, and I will do my best to do so. I will help with a saw blade arm that I have.

You do have quite the attachment for this. I'll move the logs with my ring. Okay, once we come down. I can lift some heavy logs. Great, so with a few hours, you go ahead and fell a couple of trees that were already in process, and you don't want anything too fresh, necessarily, as well as gather some things.

If some of you have materials for wood or ways to fashion them together, you could create a raft. I got some rope. Okay, all right. So who's helming the creation of this raft? Who's engineering its construction? I feel like Chetney should. Yeah, I'll be making.

He's at a disadvantage on everything. Well, he can direct us and we can do the heavy lifting. He's still rolling the engineering of it. What would it be? Like, what would it be? Just feel it out. This seems dexterity. Or survival? What would it be? What would it be? Just feel it out. This seems dexterity.

Or survival? This would likely be survival or intelligence. Oh. My survival's good. What's your survival? Okay, this is mine, too, so you should be helping. No, you do it. Oh, because you're also retired, yeah.

Yeah. I'll do it. All right, so Dan, you're helping this. All right, so, Dan, you're helming this. All right, as they're gathering the materials. Thank you! As they're cutting down the trees and Fearne's over here gathering them with her ring, you begin to see them laid into place

and start directing them on where to put them and what material's going to be needed. It's still only mid-afternoon at this point. You have a number of hours. You'll probably finish by the time the sun goes down, but you'll be pretty, hopefully, confident in your construction. So go ahead and make a roll. You still got it, girl.

Hey! Exhaustion, I know. Oh! Oh no. Guidance. Wait, did you? Oh, you did. With the Guidance, it's a six? Because the Guidance was a four. Wait, plus your survival. Okay, plus a five.

11! Hey! That's way better than a seven. That's not good. Can I? It's over 10. Have advantage. It doesn't work. Yeah, it may not look great, but I think this works.

Just dang it. We're sailing on this thing, whether you made it right or not. No one was helping the engineer, so that's a straight roll. What? It takes you a little longer at the end. You were helping.

Yeah, I was going to drill holes for the rope to go through and stuff like that. Okay. I'll allow advantage on that, then. I have an idea in there. Merciful, merciful. Thank you so much. Okay.

Well, it also is fun to have the two X-Flings working together to engineer this. Okay, now it's a 22. That's better. So much better. I was so hoping we'd get partway down the river and just. It's true.

Everyone pick a line! If only there was a door, we could both fit! A few hours go by. You all are starting to reach the point of exhaustion those already haven't. And right before you cross that boundary to a point where you yourselves might be feeling a bit spent for the day,

the final bits of rope are fastened. And tell me, how large a raft have you constructed with these materials? Oh, I think, because we're not leaving the goats, because I love them. So let's go 10 by 10 and it's cozy. 10 by 10 with all of you and your goats?

Yeah. All right. It's cozy. I love it. That's real cozy. Yeah. How big is this table? What, do you want me to make it bigger? 10 by 10. It's funnier. It's funnier if it's real little. Let's do it.

See, the larger you make it, the higher the DC is, and we're not going to let you know if it surpasses what you rolled, so. What are we going to say? You can squeeze. We'll squeeze. Right on top of me. This is huge for me. I'm a little guy. It's also very cold,

so the closer together, the better. Stacked. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to shake so all the frost comes off my fur. Before we get on the raft, though, I'd like to just pull Deanna aside and say, based on what we learned, I don't know if you'll feel comfortable with this,

but you didn't do the, to me this morning, totally okay, but I think maybe you should put it on FCG. We need everyone who can heal, and it's important that he stays around. Is that what you want? Absolutely, yes. Without a doubt. Is it just because he's a healer? Honestly, no.

But it is the primary reason. Okay. For you. primary reason. Okay, for you. Thank you. Okay. I'm going to go over with my biggest big sister energy from a little guy. Come here. What?

What are your intentions with my friend? What are you? What do you mean intentions? You guys have gotten awfully close. Here, help me tie this rope for this very small thing. Go away real quick, I have to interrogate LCG. What'd you say? Yeah.

You guys have gotten very close, and it's very nice, but if you are just dallying about because you just zoom in and break hearts, I'll break your neck. You think that I could be a heartbreaker? I think if you wanted to, you could. Wow, that's the nicest thing out there. Why are you being so nice?

Oh man, imagine me as a heartbreaker, just leaving a trail of sad romances behind me. Yeah, and one tire track. And one tire track. Perfect. Oh, no. Your friend, Frida, makes me feel so special in a way that I've never felt before. And my intentions are to make sure

that they are happy and healthy and warm at night, and that's it. God, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Why? What? What's their intention? Nothing, no, nothing. Did they say anything? Oh my god, no! They did ask if you wouldn't mind if I could put a death ward on you,

just to keep you safe. But don't you normally do that on Frida? Yeah. I accept. That's an honor. All right, where do you want it? How about just slap you on the back? Oh! Oh!

The energy courses through the back of your shoulders and you can feel the symbol of the Dawnfather emblazoned on the back of your armor. Now, I might just ask you the same. Are you here to enact romantic revenge on my friend, Yetni? Oh, oh. Are you going to love him and leave him?

Are you going to bed him and dead him? Are you going to? One more. Are you going to fuck him and chuck him? I think Deanna just lays down on that one. No, no. It's very good seeing Chet again. But if I have it right, I think there's something going on with him and Fearne.

I don't want to get in the way of that. I mean, I, you know, no judgment. I think that both Fearne and I don't want to get in the way of that. I mean, I, you know, no judgment. I think that both Fearne and Chetney have had dalliances before where they haven't really meant much. Again, no judgment. I think it could happen, but I don't think that there's love there.

But I've seen him look at you. It's like the way he looks at a piece of birch. Honestly, I get that completely. With admiration. Yeah. Oh, that's really nice. I've always wanted to be that birch. Be that birch. Well, thank you for the intel.

I will not break his heart. I have to go and finish the raft so we don't die. All right. Thank you for your time! Finish too loudly and walk away. Okay. With the raft seemingly completed and the light of the day beginning to fade,

do you wish to camp for the evening here along the banks of the Ivory Lake, or do you wish to camp for the evening here along the banks of the Ivory Lake, or do you wish to begin travel through the Savalir World? Well, usually near banks, there's coves. Are there any coves so we're not exposed on the bank, on the roof front? You can make a survival or a perception check. I'll assist you with the perception, baby.

Guidance! What were you going to say? Oh, you just assisted. Okay, so with that bank? By both of us, baby. Guidance! What were we going to say? Oh, you just assisted. Okay, so with that back? By both of us, yeah. Okay. And I got to do Guidance, finally. Yeah, you did, I'm so proud of you!

That's a d4, right? You got it. Oh, that's good perception, right? 15 plus 11, 26. Nice! And two, 28. Nice! You decide to bring the raft down a bit

and anchor it onto the side where you do find one cove. It's about a half cove. This lake doesn't have very high banks to where it would be a sizable cavern to hide within, but there is definitely a place that you can stay low, light a fire, and be as safe as you think you can be along the banks of the lake, yes.

And we're sure that with snow runoff and everything, the height of this river doesn't go up. It's not going to flood this cove, right? I mean, you don't see there being a flash melt anytime soon. Yeah, it's a snowpack season. We want to get you warmer. Well, I think I found a cove. I'm not sure it's big enough for everyone,

but, DM, with my 26, do I see a tree that I can perch in? Yeah, you have moved further down, so the lumber that you've cut down does not impede you at this moment. There is a cluster of four trees nearby that just sits. Most of them are small, but there's one

that towers over the others. It's the oldest of that troop, and you can definitely use that. I think whoever wants to take shelter in the cove, this is probably a great spot, and I'll take the higher ground and make sure nothing sneaks up on us. Great. Sounds great.

Depending on where the wind is coming from, can I give a, just to see if there's anything around that might've been watching us? Make a perception check. Guidance. I just wanted to say it. Damn it! Disadvantage. We have advantage because it's a scent-based thing,

so it's a single roll. Oh, amazing! 19. 24! 24. It's clean air. Nothing catches your scent other than the familiar scent of the banks of a lake. There's a little bit of that very earthy, damp smell

as well as a bit of, not even a low tide, but some crustaceans do wash up on the side and die, and it gives a little bit of that smell you pick up. Most people wouldn't even pick up on that, but you're attuned to those sort of things. But nothing that catches your attention in a way that worries you. Got it.

But you go ahead and build a fire and bed down for the evening with you keeping watch. I'm going to sleep. I'm going to burn my fifth-level spell slot to cast Creator Restoration on Imogen to get rid of one level of exhaustion. You've got it. Now, what does it cost to do that?

What do you mean? What do you mean? Cost? Cost? What do you mean, cost? It says no components, Matt. You mean the diamond dust worth a thousand gold, or a hundred gold, which the spell consumes? Aw, shoot! Oh, we're playing with stuff.

We're playing with stuff! I got some diamond dust when we left town. Do you want mine? Don't waste it on me. It's not a waste. Yeah, save it for Revivify. Seriously, dog. You're right. All of my Revivify magic will come in handy later.

Okay, well, that just stressed me out way more than I thought it would. I do nothing and go to bed. Everyone just sleep really good tonight. I'm going to use Prestidigitation to just warm up one little square where my butt is while we sit. Okay.

Now, if you'd like to, you can say that you had a couple hundred gold of diamond dust on you before you left for the journey as part of your preparation. Yeah. Can we do that? We had a bunch of money. Oh no, I gave it all away. Never mind. That's okay. I like having that stuff.

I have a bunch of molten sapphires, but they're not just for this, if you want it. We're just traveling right now. Let's save it for if it's really important later. Thank you. Okay, okay. You go ahead and warm your butt as you sit down. Ah.

I can't tell if I pooped my pants or if it just is warm right here. I think it's just warm. Either way, you win. Roll a constitution saving throw. With disadvantage. Incredible. I've read Pile of the Two.

All right. Before we go to bed, sorry, Matt. Sorry, sorry, too. All right. Before we go to bed, sorry, Matt. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, it's okay. It's not as cold here at the base of the mountain, so the evening's rest will come well. I'm going to try. I don't think it's going to work, but I will also burn a 5th-level spell

and I will cast Commune. Oh. What does he do? Commune. Oh! What is this? I will try to contact the change-brainer. Oh, Commune. Oh. Commune. You made it the cult way.

Yeah, I was like, what is this culty thing we're doing? We're doing a little midsumma. Back and forth. You always do it backwards first. No, I was doing the. Yeah. I know, I know.

I was doing it. Okay, you ready? That's a six-level spell. Okay. How do you prepare your commune? This is the first time you are attempting to commune with a deity of which you've had No contact. No contact with.

I'm curious, how does FCG prepare for this ritual? The only connection I have with this thing, besides every piece of advice being perfect that I've received from her, is this coin that I was given, which now, in my new outfit, is right here on my chest. So, you know, I'll just touch the coin and...

I don't know. So I don't know how to reach out to this being. So other than casting the spell and touching the coin, I'll just say, Changebringer, I need you. Can you hear me? You close your eyes for a second.

The wind drifts by, the cold, early onset evening wind. You glance the path you took behind you after opening them, not really sensing anything. You glance in the direction of the river where you're going and you watch as the river disappears into the forest ahead. And you watch as the river seems to almost shift, like it bends, like something moved it ever so faintly.

Oh, that's a sign. Just look around, no one's around me. Okay. I'll ask the river a question, I guess. I'll say, there's been a lot of debate about whether the gods are good or bad, whether we need them or not, whether they need us.

But right now, I just want to know, are you real? The wind begins to pick up around you, whipping past you in the direction of the flow of the river. You can feel leaves and bits of dust and snow whip past you, and you swear you can see almost like tendrils of hair whipping past you. As you notice this, the color of the vicinity around you

begins to shift, like an odd change of color. You turn around and it's odd. You glance and can see the horizon, the horizon line beyond the mountains to the east, and you can see a figure standing an impossible number of miles away, yet somehow their hair is traveling this far and is just drifting around you,

whipping with the wind as it does. Present, but distant. Oh, wow. I... I guess that's a yes. Have you been watching me? The wind picks up and whips around and the chain that your coin,

or sorry, the coin that you placed on your chest, it tears from your grasp and lands heads up in the snow in front of you. Whoa! Amazing. I think I get one more question. Well, first I'll say, thank you for finding me and being with me. It's meant a lot, and you've helped me already.

I guess the only other thing I really want to know is, do you need help? I guess the only other thing I really want to know is, do you need help? There is a long pause in the horizon where the extended, tendril-like mass of hair that seems to whip around you, never quite striking you, just dancing around the proximity of your person. You then watch the figure begin to pull back and lift up off the horizon, the hair stretching with it,

like strands of rope being tethered hundreds of miles, just slightly bowing at that distance, anchored to this shape. As it does, you feel... can only be described as not quite fear, but they acknowledge and confirm with cold emotion

what you can interpret to be a yes. But as you do, she also pulls away. Make a perception check for me. Good. Not very good. 13. 13. I don't think I can guide myself.

You can guide yourself. You can guide yourself. All right. 16. As the figure begins to pull away, you watch as the tendrils of hair begin to drift back, and the figure seems to lift and vanish beyond, almost like a fog beyond where they were standing.

And once again, the perspective is so odd on this and the figures seem to lift and vanish beyond, almost like a fog beyond where they were standing. Once again, the perspective is so odd on this to where it seems close, but yet also infinitesimally distant, like a sunrise that you can't tell if it's 10 feet away or the other side of the world. For a second, you see within that fog other shapes, like it's joining others

before the color begins to drift from that ethereal glow back to that setting sun. And for the first time since you've began this odd trek into what some might call faith, began this odd trek into what some might call faith. You've felt seen. Not like a sign, but truly seen by something

immense, ancient, more powerful and unknowable than even you were prepared for, and even just this small moment, you felt simultaneously like the most important you've ever been and the most small and unnecessary. I'll pick up the coin and put it back on my chest.

And is anyone else around or is everybody asleep? The rest of the group is getting ready for bed. They've set up the fires, now crackling on the alcove on the outside of the banks of the lake. Frida's up in the tree, currently perched to keep watch as the last bit of the day's light begins to disappear beyond the mountainous horizon. Chetney's cuddling some wood.

Image is just checking her butt. You're good. No poop. No poop. Deanna. Yeah? I think I saw the change bringer. Wait. Where? Like in a vision.

Oh. But I got the feeling that the gods might really need us to help them. It was amazing. But also, she answered another question that I had without even asking it. What question? I saw her so far away, but I could still see her

because there is no curvature. Sure, sure. She was hundreds and hundreds of miles away, but there was just a straight shot and I could see her. But didn't you say it was a vision, No curvature. Sure, sure. She was hundreds and hundreds of miles away, but there was just a straight shot, and I could see her. But didn't you say it was a vision, so that wasn't what was happening? Yeah, but it was clear

that she was just thousands of miles straight ahead. You know what? Fuck it. World's flat. Gods are in trouble? Because my gods are in trouble. I don't know, but we just got to keep moving tomorrow. That's all.

Okay. You're a faithful person, too, right? Yeah. Are you, though? You seem sort of cynical about the whole thing. I put my stock a little more in people than I do in the gods. I thank the Dawnfather for giving me the tools to keep all of you alive forever.

But beyond that, I trust people. People are great. You're great. Yeah. I just feel like there's, if you're connected to the Dawnfather, Right? Yeah. I just feel like there's... If you're connected to the Dawnfather, maybe there's... I guess I need that connection more than you. No.

No. How did you... You came to the Changebringer because you were looking for something. Yeah. But maybe you you were looking for something. Yeah. But maybe you're not looking for something because you're happy with yourself and content. I'm a mess!

But thank you so much for making me feel. You seem great. You seem confident. You're always cracking wise. Yeah, because I'm nervous all the time. No. I died and came back, and then everything was different, and my best friend in the whole world kind of has a death wish sometimes.

Wait, is that Frida? Yeah, kind of. Death wish? No, like you. Oh. You do that, too. You were like, let's go be friends with the bull, and then ran it. Oh, that worked. Fair.

I don't know if it's like an Aor Matan thing, but I'm scared all the time. And I don't know if it was good that I came back. But, I choose to put my faith in this world a little more than the gods. That doesn't mean I don't want to help them. Sure, sure.

That makes sense. Well, I'm glad you came back. And I know Chetney is, too. Thanks. I'm very happy to have met you. You too. Changebringer. Well, don't mock the change bringer.

No, you said she was the one true god. Yeah, I know, but. Yeah, did she say anything? Because you literally have a mark of my god on your body. What's she like? Oh, what's that? She was just cool. Oh, she's very chill.

She's just chill, yeah. Sure. Okay. She's vibing. She was vibing. She was vibing. I want a cool vibing god. The Dawnfather's like, ugh, he's really intense. He's kind of a... She's got gray hair.

Great, great hair. She's got gray hair? Great hair. Aw. She sounds really nice. Okay. Did you see anything else? Nope, that's it. Oh shit, okay, bye.

Bye. Hey, Frida, what you doing? Just scoping the surroundings. Why are you yelling? Okay, I'm going to go to bed now. All right. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay.

Is there any imaging, any dreaming you should do to try to reach out to Laudna or anything? I mean, I can give it a shot. But didn't you? Did we try that? We tried that once and it went crazy. Yeah, but was it trying to get to Laudna

or were we trying to see? Your mama. Yeah, so maybe this time I can try to see Laudna. Okay. It's certainly worth it. I grab some wood and start whittling away from place. Is there any way we can support from here? I just don't even think so.

Yeah, I can give it a try and see if that works. I don't know. I don't even, I can try. Do you want me to do the thing, or do you want a solo trip? Well, what if I try to see Laudna, and then instead I just get sucked back to Ruidus, and then I almost go up to Ruidus like last time? That happened last time.

That's right, but maybe we shouldn't do that. What are you talking about? That sounds incredible. What if you go up to Rudas, you land on it, and then it's like solo mission to destroy the moon by yourself? That could be fun. What if I get sucked up to Rudas

and then I turn into one of those red walkers? Also interesting. Yeah. As long as you get to be our red walker type of a thing. Just hang out, like, and just float above us. Yeah. As long as you get to be our Red Walker type of a thing. You just float above us. It's up to you. You feeling good?

I mean, I'm feeling a little exhausted still, but I can give it a try. That's right. Would I get disadvantage in a dream? Yeah. Oh! Any ability it checks, yeah. I mean, you're exhausted and going to sleep. You're still exhausted in a dream. Yeah. Oh! Any ability it checks, yeah. You're exhausted and going to sleep.

You're still exhausted in your sleep. Maybe tonight's not. Maybe we skip tonight. No, it's not going to be tonight. We can do it tomorrow. Let's do it after the night. Let's do it after the river. After we get down there.

Okay. We'll see, we'll see. I do want to find, obviously, I want to find Laudna, desperately. Imogen, don't worry. Tonight, in my dreams, I will find Laudna. Thank you, plane walker Chet. They don't know about that.

Let's just keep it on the low. Yeah, did you? He's a plane walker. You got to go on. What? He's a plane walker. We haven't seen it. Plane rider, I'm really sorry. A plane rider. What's a plane rider? I learned a lot of skills in the 200 that you were out of,

so, you know. Okay. I just kind of diversified my skill set. What planes have you been to? All of them. Well, the passport got so full. Oh. Yeah, they all kind of blend together.

We went in a fire plane. You've been in a fire plane. I didn't want to state the obvious one. All right. Okay. Mm-hmm. In the Fey Realm. If Frida's in there,

she'll be becoming increasingly nervous. I don't know what's going to happen. All right, are we going to take turns? Take watches, I mean? Yeah. Yep, okay. All right. Where do we going to take turns? Take watches, I mean? Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right. Where do we need to? Are we okay?

Okay. Well, the 2A1 Matans could do it, because we only need four hours, right? Six hours. Six hours. Oh, great. Yeah, we can take first watch. Fearne's already out. We could just. I want a big spoon behind Fearne's already out. We would just.

I want a big spoon behind Fearne. Can we keep a little farther in the cove and it wouldn't be seen? It wouldn't be seen from above. It's from across the lake, it would be visible. But I have a clear view of whatever's across the lake. Okay. Fuck. All right.

Okay, so first watch. Go ahead and roll a perception check for me, Frida. I cast Sleep Guidance. 17 plus 11, so a lot. Okay. Your watch goes by relatively unbentfully. You see a couple of nocturnal birds out hunting, unable to quite make out the size or scope.

You're a little nervous, but nothing seems to get too close to the point of worrying your currently sleeping troop until eventually your watch comes to an end and you can pass it over to FCG. Oh, sure. I'll go up to FCG and just rouse him a little bit. Uh. Uh. You okay?

Yeah. Look at your tongue. Okay. Sleep tight. Thank you. If you need anything, just wake me up. Please let me roll to this. Yeah. Sleep tight. If you need anything. Wake me up. Please let me roll this. You just sleep.

No, you're sleeping. But I'm so nosy! What's your passive perception? Or, yeah, passive perception. This could be so bad. Passive perception is 19. Hey, that's not bad. It's higher than mine.

No, it's not. Smooth. Like, I'm attuned to smooches. They weren't trying to be too stealthy. You may, I'll allow it. I just hear a little tink. Yep. Ping!

I go like this, like, I knew it. Perception check, I give to Jyn. 12 plus seven, 19. 19 is pretty solid. Slowly, the sun begins to rise in the sky as morning comes about, and an uneventful evening here comes to a close as the day is before you.

One by one, you begin to rouse from your slumber. Those of you who had exhaustion points, you can remove one from your total. Yay! Still disability, disadvantage on ability check, man. Well, I could do an old man roll. Oh my god!

Come on, come on, come on. What's the number? 100. No, it wasn't. No, no, no, 33. Oh, okay, okay. 100's bad. Don't you die on my roll?

If you roll 100, you say your chet dies? Is that really what it is? Yeah. Really? Yeah, I mean, he's 400-plus years old. Night is our greatest enemy. That's incredible. I'm here for it. In the morning, I want to cast Death Ward again,

but try very hard to, instead of just that Dawnfather symbol, just carve out the silhouette of a woman with really long hair in front of it. Oh. Oh, good. Done and done. You gather your things. The raft is still anchored. I'm going to mage buff myself.

Mage armor. Mage armor, you got it. Mage buff. Mage buff! I'm so mage buff, you guys. I'm a fucking sorcerer. Damn right. All right.

The goats have excitedly begun their restless motions to carry on with the day. They've all begun to be at the ready for whatever you have before them. The 10 by 10 raft still lays anchored at the edge of the lake, and the river stream the current is carrying in the direction. What would you like to do?

Okay, we doing this? Yeah, you're going to have to do a little weight distribution here. Okay, we're going to go in on each corner. Just rip your sword, right? Oh my god. Save yourself a few more. All right, well, someone should stand in the middle, and then we can put them on the... You know what I mean?

And then we place them... We're the raft pods on the shore. The one person does the shove-off and hops on. Okay. Who's doing the shove-off? You should do the shove-off, Chet, because you're the smallest, so you'll... Excuse me, I believe she is the smallest. I thought you were just a little bit shorter than her.

What the fuck? No. No, look, it's a hunch, but gravity can't hold me down. His bones make him a little littler. Oh, all right. Well, all right, then. Osteo is. Deanna, if you want to be the last one on,

that way it rocks the raft the least. Okay. Right? Sure. Okay, I'm going to get on. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, cl? Okay. Sure. Should I get, okay, I'm going to get on. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. She's going to get up, and it takes a moment for Donny Boy to be like, .

Kind of catches, it shakes a bit. And it's at this moment you realize, I mean, these goats are, they're riding goats. They take up a good amount of space. Using Titanic logic. Yeah. I like a baby. Yeah. I like a baby. Yes.

You could, in theory, squeeze all the goats onto this raft. You are uncertain as to how long they'll stay there, but we can give it a shot. Yes. Oh no. Can you calm the goats? I don't want to lose the goats. Are they humanoids?

They have two legs and two arms. And a neck. That's all it takes. I can speak with animals. Oh good. But I don't know. Are they considered small beasts? Yeah. No, they're considered large beasts.

Aw, jeez. I can speak with them for 10 minutes. Okay, that's a good idea. But if we leave them here, then something might get them. Yeah, we're either riding them in or we're taking the river. Okay, we can knock all the goats unconscious.

Do we have a big hole? No. Who has the highest intelligence here? I do. Which is fucking terrifying. Roll an intelligence modifier for me, please. Okay. Oh no. Intelligence check. But this is a disadvantage,

because I still have one point of attack. Are you? Two plus three, five! You got nothing. Shit! So we should be fine. So we knock out all the ghosts. We get them on the raft, knock them out. I cast Spare the Die, so they don't die.

That was a good suggestion. I fucked it up. Here's an idea. We can tie them together, and we'll stay close to the bank, to the shore, and they will move with us as we float. They can just... Maybe one of us can ride alongside the raft.

If this doesn't make any sense, why didn't we just take the... That is true. Put the goats in the center of the raft and we'll be on the outside to prevent them from jumping ship in the water. We can all take a corner. Do the goats have any kind of collar or anything,

or just free goats? Well, they all have, you've got them with saddles and harnesses. I mean, we could kind of try and tie them all chin in in like a circle so they're all facing inward. I mean, it doesn't mean they won't panic and move. Like a star of goat? Yeah, they won't.

I blind all the goats. And then they'll just lay down. Yeah, they're like, listen, they can't really, it's like their perception. They can't see past the area that they're. Sure, goats love being face to face with each other. They're not at all territorial creatures. They're going to smack into each other

and start grabbing each other as they. Okay. Let's just go for it. This is a 10-foot by 10-foot raft, and you're essentially trying to fit approximately five horses on it. They're as big as horses? They're riding goats.

I just thought they were cuter little goats. No, they're riding goats. I'm going to be honest, I did forget that they were big goats. I didn't realize that they were that big. Yeah, I was thinking they were all riding on little goats. They're riding goats! We can stack them.

We're not stacking goats. I think that's worked in a different way. I don't know if we need all of the goats. You what? I don't know if we need all of the goats. I don't know if we need all of the goats, because we're both little. We could share a goat. We reduced our rat by one. I hold my hand like a gun and kill my goat.

No! Deanna. What? Not. I kill Jerry immediately. Do you really? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Oh, wait, we killed them? Just leave them behind!

Leave them behind! I'm fine! Leave them behind! I'm gonna chase them! I guess we gotta get to Harvest Inn. We can't make it. No way! No! Oh my god! I'm cheering. I'm cheering Jerry.

There we go. I take your meat. Just two insane noes. Imogen is just sobbing and screaming. What the fuck? This can't be the worst thing you've seen. Your dreams are bad. Where's the hole?

We got a hole right here. Wait, did you also kill a goat? I was harvesting all the pieces. But there's just one goat down, right? Yeah. What, are you going to just carry a bunch of meat with you now? It's not in the hole, it's freezing out here.

We don't have a hole. We don't have a hole, but may I suggest I can make a stew! We can make a little baggie. Oh, and hang it over the side. Hang it over the side. It'll stay nice and cold, though. It'll stay very cold.

In the water? Yeah. Meat in the water. Come on! It'll be in a bag. I'm going to try to calm the other goats, which are probably screaming and freaking the fuck out at this point. They're definitely all backing away

from this. Donny boy, Donny boy. It's a kind of calm one. Donny boy's the biggest one! Donny boy? Don't! Donny boy next. Donny boy would be the most buoyant. Donny boy, if he, we've talked about it,

he can go in the water if he needs to. We'll be fine. I'm going to try to pick up Downy Boy. The world is cruel. Roll a strength check for me, please. I just want to see how heavy he is. Someone has to make a card choice. Strength check?

We just lost our ASPCA thing at the end of the episode. Four. He's just real big. So to reiterate, to reiterate, I apologize if I wasn't clear about this at the beginning of this game. No, you're good. I just forgot.

To ride a beast, it has to be of a certain size to carry your weight and travel faster than you would on foot. That makes sense. So these goats each weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 to 1,200 pounds. Oh my god, they're huge! So yeah, there's no way we could've taken the goats. The goats are off.

I mean, maybe a bit much. It's closer to 700 to 900. It doesn't matter. Sounds like we all need to catch up with us. Easily on time. Just wipe some blood across the body. They are buoyant. There's no reason to kill them, Deanna.

There's no reason. We need meat. What are you talking about? We've survived this entire time without goat meat. Food. But even with one goat down, there is a ton of goatage on this 10 by 10 foot ramp. I'm saying we leave them. Jesus.

We kill them all. Chainsbringer, be with us. We leave the fucking goats and we don't take them. It's better to leave them here. Leave them in pieces, I agree. Than to just kill them. And tell them to head back to town. We know the way.

They've gotten us as far as we needed to over the mountains. I am not leaving Donnybuoy out here! This is a what-court. We'll take Donnybuoy. We can take one. We can take one. We can take one. Tell you what, Fearne. Why don't you and I just ride the goats alongside the raft? Okay.

We should. We should have something fresh. We should have some on shore. We should have some on shore. We should do in the dust. No, no, no. Just to clarify, it is four days of travel through the Savalirwood by foot or mount, and about two and a half days down the Boreal Omen River. It's worth it.

Because the river runs faster than traveling. Can you just tell Donnyboy to keep the remaining goats here, and then when we come back, we'll pick them up and go back. And then just convey my condolences about Jerry. Okay. I think you could buy that. The goats really were just to get down the mountainside.

We did that part. All think you could buy it. The goats really were just to get down the mountainside. We did that part. All right. Donny boy. Hey. Hey. Are you there? Hey is for horses, Fjord. Yeah. Sorry about what happened. It's okay.

Would you want to just hang out around here, like you and the gang, just hanging out in the cove? What happened to Jerry? Oh gosh. He had, well, what had happened was we thought that we were all going to- He exploded. He did. He did explode.

I don't know. We were all going to try to get on the raft. Is that going to happen to me? Fear. Fear will keep them here. Well, it could if you leave the cove. So I think you guys should stay in that spot. Okay. Or do you know how to get home from here?

Yeah. We know the area pretty well. You do, right? Yeah. Yeah, you do. The Joanns. The Joanns? The Joanns.

Oh, the Joanns. I was like, wait, who's Joann? You can stay, though, because if we come back, it'll take us so long. We need to ride again. Okay. Stay in the cove. There's plenty of meat for you. Plenty of food.

Oh my god! I'm burned. What? The organ's really rich in iron and stuff. She's right. Just stay in that little cove. Look over. Patchwork is already eating parts of Jerry. Patchwork slaps. Yeah, I mean, you do what you have parts of Jerry. Patchwork slaps.

Yeah, I mean, you do what you have to to survive. There's your food. Stay over here and just be safe. Make an animal handling check. Okay. There's two issues. God. That failed.

Okay. Oh, all right. A well-handled animal. Okay. What's myled animal. Okay. What's my animal? 25. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. We'll go ahead and rest over by the bank

and I guess just wait for you to come back. Yeah, and then if we don't, in like, well, you don't, can you tell time, days, and things like that? What is time? That's a good question. All right, we'll just stay here, and then, just stay here, but don't die.

If you get hungry or you feel like you're going to, just withering away, go back home. Yeah, I know that. All right, all right, all right. We're going to stay and eat cherry! Oh! Okay. My portable square eyeballs are emoting.

All right, well, have a good time. You, too. Okay. Well, see, look, they're eating. It's perfect, this was good. Yeah, yeah, that was a good, yeah, they have food now, they're eating. It's perfect, this was good. Yeah, yeah, that was a good, yeah, they have food now and they're here. We're going to get burned

for a race of cannibalistic mountain goats. All right, hop back on the raft. Flockett goes, definitely omnivorous. Yeah. I climb back on the raft. All right. Thank you. I'm going to climb to the opposite side of the raft. All right. Thank you. I'm going to climb to the opposite side of the raft than Dana.

Sorry. I'm going to go to the back of the raft, attach my propeller attachment. Oh, nice. Digging into the water behind. I'm going to use my staff to try to guide. Great, great. So with that, you all step atop

the relatively well-made raft that can comfortably house you six. So much room. Probably no more than another goat. Anything else would have been disaster, you realize, as you begin to float down the river. I'll just watch till Donny Boy just gets real. And you do. They all gather and drag the

expertly separated carcass of Jerry over to their alcove waiting point. And as the thankful, comparative warmth of the day begins to greet you, as opposed to the blizzards and snow that kept you at the Alps, you begin to feel the current draw you closer and closer to the mouth and entrance of the Savalirwood.

As you approach, you can see the massive canopy, the twisted tops of this forest themselves, a collection of knotted, entangled branches and purple, brown, red leaves that all just pull into each other and seem to create an elevated bramble mess that encompasses a massive section of this part of the continent.

Eventually, you begin to get closer and closer until the river itself enters the forest proper and the light of the day in the sky above immediately falls into shadow. It is here in the darkened space that the ominous sense of the wood begins to creep in. that the ominous sense of the wood begins to creep in. Immediately, you can see the low fog

that settles amongst the bases of the trees around you. You can't even see the floor of the Savalirwood. You just see that hanging mist here in the midday. You can sense the tumble and drop of condensed rain You can sense the tumble and drop of condensed rain You can sense the tumble and drop of condensed rain and melting snow from a recent snowfall that blew through as the rush of the river carries you further and further down.

Now, for your first day of travel here, across the water, what are you doing to prepare yourself for what comes ahead? Stay hidden or to maintain the journey? You're trying to, who's keeping an eye out for any dangers along the river ahead of you? I can hear you. Okay. I'd love to.

Go ahead and roll either perception or survival for me. Okay. 17. Okay, 17. Keeping an eye out as the river winds further, carrying you down the occasional drifting point and then comes to rest again. There are a few rocks in the waters ahead of you,

and noting to Fearne, you can get your staff ahead and push a little bit out of the way as you come close. At times it's quick, at times it's slow, but it definitely carries a much better pace than traveling through this clustered network of trees. You can look around you and see that there are sections of the wood that are extremely dense, where you cannot see more than 20 or so feet

beyond the banks of the forest until it becomes tangled roots and clusters of low-hanging branches that just merge into each other. What are the branches? Is there vegetation, or is it dead branches? Oh, there's vegetation. There are heavy, dense clusters of these long,

almost jagged-edged leaves on a number of the trees. And there are many different types of trees. You can see the variations in the bark coloration and the shapes of the canopy and the height in which the actual foliage begins to build off of the tree itself, but they all seem to carry a continuous pattern of dark purple, dark grays, dark blues,

and dark reds in color. And it has this immediate clarity as to why they call it the Cursed Wood. And you, having traversed these spaces before, you are quite familiar with the dangers of this interior. You've seen a few terrifying creatures in here, beyond just corrupted dire beasts and massive wolves. You haven't gotten too close to the ruins,

but you've run into a few creatures that seem to be a little altered by the expanse here. You once came upon a massive warthog, but as opposed to a set of eyes, a singular central eye, and where its legs protruded, it was just one single long, almost like bending finger of a leg in the front and one in the back.

It seemed to continuously rush and leap, almost like a deer, but in mid-hunt for something else. Make a roller blade warthog? One leg in front and one leg in back? Yep, just leaping between the trees. You just quietly kept to the side as it dashed back,

making this horrible sound as it burbled and vanished into the woods. Burbled. I tried to stick to the edge, typically. So we should be good because we're on the water, which is its own kind of edge. Are there creatures in the water? You want to look over in the water?

Make perception check for me. I have a question. Guidance! Other than the sounds of the snowfall and the runoff from the water, is it the kind of ambiance where, if we speak too loudly, it would crack the air and anything would hear it? You really only hear the rush of the water

during the day. That's about it. You really only hear the rush of the water during the day. That's about it. The rest is just still and quiet. You don't even hear bird calls or the chittering of woodland. You've been in forests before. There is an odd silence that seems to permeate this wilderness

that makes you uneasy. I think I'll just tune into that as we move along and pay special attention to any sounds that are not us and the raft. Okay. Rolled a 12, looking over the side. Okay. I mean, the water's clear,

but you can see into the waters below the lack of light. It's challenging to make out much detail. You have no idea what may or may not be lurking beneath the waves. Why is this place like this? Oh, I mean, it's all legend and folk tale and stuff, but there was a great event that happened that ruined the woods and so if you can teleport from you know kind of the middle of the empire wild mount um

up to uthadur and you typically would and if you had to travel the woods out of necessity like i did it's not really um recommended to the edges or in groups. Help your number, but yeah. I don't know, I would hear people talking about it, but usually it's one of those places people would adventure into boldly and then never show the fuck up ever again. How did you survive on your own, Mr. Poggeby?

I was very crafty. I'm very good at trapping. I'm good at living off of the land. And I also killed a werewolf. Yeah, that helped. Is that how you were affected by It? Yes, yeah, I got that motherfucker, but not before he bit me.

And so here I am. Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry. It bit you. Yeah! And then you turned into that. Yep. But also, it was like a werewolf in this area, so it's probably a little different.

But he bit me. He's never bit you. Okay. Yes. Am I... Sorry? You remember you bit me, right? Remember? It's a little hazy in those moments, plus a natural moon transformation.

It doesn't happen very often for me, so if you say I bit you, I believe you? Could that have affected Frida? I'm not an expert on Eor Matan, you know. But from your perspective? Yes. How do you know?

How does it work exactly? Because I don't have... There was a moment when we were play fighting where you... It looked like you were smelling me, and you didn't like what you smelled, and I imagine that's because I don't have blood. But have you anyway? You did, yes. That's curious. Huh.

How would you? Why are you smiling about it, Chet? What? You made a promise not to turn anyone else. I did, no, I did. I mean, the wolf's a different thing, but. Is it a blood thing, like a disease, or a curse thing? Yes, that one.

It's actually, it's a curse. I was giving clear instructions not to spread it, you know? Wait, have you ever turned anybody before? No. I can't remember if we've talked about this. You might have with Frida. That's an interesting point. Because you've had control of your transformations

in the moon for some time. It's the intensity of the solstice that brought it to a point where you lost control. And you've not been in that situation for a long time. It's pretty rare for me. Why are you scratching your face, Frida? I'm nervous all of a sudden. Not because you got hair growing or anything, right?

No, do I? I don't know, do you? I don't know, do I? I don't see any hair, I just see metal. I have to focus on my surroundings. Maybe we can talk more about it later. Yeah, for sure. I mean, this is, that would be quite a thing, wouldn't it?

Are you sure you haven't turned anyone else? Yes, yep, very aware. They're all dead. But how would you know? I don't know how to respond to that. Yeah, because you said you didn't know that you bit him. You didn't even know you bit him. So how would you even know? Well, usually.

How's the mopping going? Did you go out? No, I'm moving out of the way. No, the mopping work is so good. I know. I am doing my space work. Didn't you fight Orym when we were on the ship? Orym?

Yes. Did you bite him? Nott just gave him the old claws. The old claws? The swipeity swipe. Sure, sure. Whoosh! They're a bitch by themselves. I contact with Imogen and just ask

so that only you and I can hear, am I going to be okay? I mean, I think so. I don't really, You can't hear it. I definitely can't. You're really getting in my brain. Bet your ass. I mean, I don't know how aomatons work.

But if you say you don't have blood, and it's a blood curse, maybe it won't take. But we'll keep an eye on you, all right? Just don't let me hurt Deanna. blood and it's a blood curse. Maybe it won't take, but we'll keep an eye on you, all right? Just don't let me hurt Deanna. If it's a curse, it can be cured. You know, Chet really likes turning into a wolf. That's the only reason he's stuck with it.

I bet there's a solution. Not that you need a solution. He can't hear us. Roll for hearing. Guidance. Disadvantage. Roll to hear telepathic communication. I'm pretty fucking sure.

I've heard people think real hard. I'll just rub Frida's back. I look at Deanna like she's... I'm just giving you a look like I don't trust you for a little bit. So interesting. Cool, cool, cool. In your head, you hear,

have you ever seen her do something like that? Just straight up kill an animal for no fucking reason? I got to be honest with you, I haven't, and it alarmed me a little bit. It alarmed me. I think we are a bad influence. I don't know if you know, but I like horses, I like goats. I like animals, too,

and I think they're a bad influence on each other. I think so, too. Yes, I'm glad we're on the same page. All right. It was so fun killing that goat. The blood coating on her forearms? I don't want to wash it off. That feels good. I know. It just feels like, oh, thank you.

I'm going to press a Digitation and it's going to disappear. No! Your eyes disappear! It's so cute. So rosy. I think I'm going to make my way to FCG because I'm a little scared. Okay. If you're using the back one. I think I'm going to make my way to FCG because I'm a little scared. Okay. Get to using the back one. This is like a spirit.

I'll just sit next to you. You take one step. You made it, bud. I'm still rubbing your back. It's going to be all right. If you're afflicted, we'll get you through it somehow. I just don't want to hurt anybody. Yeah, I know that feeling.

What does give you some solace is at least, it'll be a number of weeks before the next full moon. And with that, I go back to. Don't you stop now. No, no, it's great. Don't keep going. Pay attention.

I go back to watching. I want an arm workout. All righty. So I would like someone to roll for your first day. You have to. Don't. You have to do it. I hate doing it.

Look. Do it. I'll, don't. I hate doing it. You did all of that object work. Do it. All of us. You got it. What? Oh no. He's getting ready. This air is on 420. Oh good.

Uh-oh. What was it again that I'm rolling? No, just what'd you roll? A two. You want a two? This is why I don't. You rolled a two? I rolled a two. Roll a d8 for me.

A d8? No! Roll an eight. Oh no. Here it comes. What is it going to be? Look at the dice. Someone's going to come out and break the... Where's my dat gum? Actually, I think you're wrong.

Where's my dat gum? I need a four. It's a four. Dang! Power's are spreading. Blood go! Blood go! Black belt.

What does he say? He says, Doesn't he say black belt? Doesn't he go, What does he do in the ear? The little girl, though, what does she do when she goes like, Black belt. No, she doesn't.

She says something in somebody's ear. Doesn't he mean black pita? I think she just something in somebody's ear. Does it say Black Peter? I think she just bars in the ear. What are you guys talking about? The wish of the way of knowing which direction we are going. As Fearne begins to sing and half cackle to herself, the light of day fades as the night begins to greet you,

and it's with the fall of the sunlight that the sounds of the Savalir Wood truly come to life. You begin to hear distant cracks of something heavy moving through the woods at a distance you can't make out. Just the occasional or something moving through the wood, you also hear the occasional heavy of owls in the woods, crickets,

and every now and then, as you hit a bank or a splash, birds that scatter off. The Savalirwood is alive. Are we making much sound? Beyond Fearne singing and the sound of a propeller smashing into the wood behind you. No, you're fine. Right. Maybe we should turn off the propeller for a bit.

What? Kill the engine. Kill the engine. Okay. Kill the engine. Kill the engine. Kill the engine. Kill, okay. Why was that somehow noisy? That is how the horror movie starts. Yeah. Kill the motor!

Now with the motor off, Blackfell, you're now drifting along the water. It is at a fairly decent speed. You also have no light source as the last of the light vanishes. Should I cast Light? You cast Light. And we die.

As this beacon of brightness now alights the nearby wood. And whereas there was a fear of the shadow around you, as you brighten the space, the darkness now gives way to all of the branches that just move by, like hundreds of reaching, thin fingers that just scrape by, grabbing nothing. I'm going to light up my little dancing orbs

and I'm going to send them out so they float along the sides so it lights up the branches instead of just us. Okay. And so as your centered light vanishes and the orbs permeate, you watch as they scatter out and drift along with you. Well, Viz, good job, guys.

I thought she was going to leave hers up. This is really good, yeah. You know what? You also see, now that your eyes begin to focus on the passing of these orbs, pale blue lights that seem to drift amongst the fog all throughout the wood. You don't see anything that resembles a source of them,

but you can just see drifting little motes of blue light that just appear and vanish. Just don't make creepy shit. Continuing on a bit. You hear a sound, a heavy, wet slap sound. You all glance over as the raft bumps against the side of the river a bit

and begins to cruise down a slight decline before hitting past that little bit of rapids. You hear a sound that follows it. Another slap. You glance over in the direction of where you can see it, and not far from the bank, a little ways ahead to the right, just a little bit of your light beginning to show, you can see these little, not the blue motes that you saw distant in the forest,

but these small, little glowing motes of white light that just drift. They drift and move and then stop. Then drift and move and stop. Hunter's B and move and stop. Hunter's Bane. 60 feet. Hunter's Bane. I am freaking out. Go ahead and make a perception check. Look at this.

With advantage for me, please. Oh, thank god for that. Nine. I'm hot and I'm cold. 17. 17. You smell the air and between your senses, for me, please. Oh, thank god for that. No. I'm hot and I'm cold. 17. 17. You smell the air and between your senses to the energies around you, and indeed, those 100 or so feet ahead,

you glance out and you recognize those are small, but they're fey sources. Fae? There is fey energy, or fey life in that direction. As you begin to drift further down the raft, bumping every now and then against the sides of the river as you drift along with the rapids, your orbs begin to come into a light,

the shape of what these things are. You can see tiny wings. These little pixie-like creatures. There's three of them that are all moving around. Then you hear, once again, that, that heavy, wet slap. As you see something arc and smack, and you see that they're on something.

They're moving around and avoiding being slapped or crushed by a larger host entity that is currently lumbering through the wood, about 15 or 20 feet beyond the embankment. Is this the one thing that we saw before that looked like it was a pretend fairy? That's your first thought, but these are free-flying, and the creature that they're around seems to be just relatively annoyed by their presence,

almost like a cow's tail whacking the flies off of its back. But you can't really make out much of the shape of this creature. It just looks like a shifting mound on occasion. The size of it? Bigger than the fucking ox that we released? Uh, yeah, about that size, maybe. Okay.

But it's on land and we're on the water, right? Correct. Fortnite. Ah! Is it tentacled? You saw some sort of arm or pseudopod move fast and slap the side of its own body to try and knock one of these pixies free

as it dodged and then perched somewhere else along its form. But that's all you can make out at the distant glow of your lights. You do see the pixies lift up and all seem to shift and turn towards the glowing purple orbs that you have drifting along the space that you are.

Can I go faster through this part? This seems bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Control water. Fire picket. Oh! Control water. Oh. Okay. Pick up your staff!

So you are now pushing forward the flow of this river. Yeah. Okay, as it begins to rise, the rapids begin to rush quickly. The sound begins to push, and the raft, which is moving in tandem, but a little ways away, begins to pick up on the wave that's carrying it down the river.

As this is happening, your orbs begin to push into view, and you can see now this creature, this massive, almost like a bog mound. It is covered in moss and vines and all sorts of odd natural growths. You can see a multitude of tendrils, almost like long tentacles that emerge from its body in place of some that drag behind it, some that slap in front of it as it pulls itself forward. You can see these thick, almost elephant-like limbs that lumber forward as it goes. It's almost clumsy in the way it shifts and moves,

occasionally trying to slap the pixies away. And you watch from beneath its canopy, a singular, almost like an eye stalk, emerge and glance in the direction of the light as you begin to coast by. Can I take my lights and put them right in front of the eye so that it's blinded and dazzled by the orbs instead of being able to see the condom?

You can certainly try. I would like you to go ahead and make a, just make a charisma check for me. This is going to be versus its perception to see if it. Good guidance. 17. 17. That was so important to me.

Vroom, vroom. I feel like he's perceived. I had to take a bite first before I cut up. The lights shift up to it, and as the lights arrive, the shape seems to vanish. Shit. There's a sudden shift in movement,

and it's just no longer there. The pixies shift, almost like they've been left askew and begin to circle again into space, looking forward. I'm watching the water. I have a feeling this thing is amphibious and that's why it's a little bit clumsy on land. So I'm going to watch the water

and see if there's any movement. Uh-oh. You wait and pause here. A giant splash into the water ahead of you as it leapt into the air and lands right in the center of the river that is now picking up and is now pushing your entire raft in the direction of this entity. As it spins around, four or five of these tendrils

spinning in the air like multiple ice stocks pushing through as a massive mouth opens before you and we're going to go to break. No! Aw, man, I was just going to make a joke and Karina's like, look at all that bad stuff. We're not going to deal with it. Just make a joke as we go.

Maybe it won't see us. It might still help you out. You can still control the water you're on. So we'll come back to that here in a little bit. We'll see you shortly. We interrupt this Critical Role Podcast Network broadcast to bring you news of dangerous treasures that lie sealed within the Critical Role shops.

Only the heartiest of adventurers should dare seek them out. In all seriousness, though, I'm Matthew Mercer, and we've made some very cool things that we really like and hope you will, too. If you'd like to support the show, please consider visiting any of our Critical Role online shops through the shop tab at critrole.com and see if anything catches your eye. Okay, back to the show. Welcome back. And you killed Travis, so. With that, let's go ahead and roll initiative. Oh no!

No! Oh god, oh god. We're already in it. Ready your paints. The newest set of pre-primed miniatures from WizKids is available now at your local game store. Check out the entire Critical Role collection at wizkids.io slash CRminis. Oh, man!

Criminies! Whoa! It's so cool! Oh my god. Here. Is our teeny weenie. Is your raft. Teeny weenie.

Teeny weenie. Here are the pixies. Oh boy, I love that band. I wonder if they'll help us. Yes. We fight. Oh! No!

That is huge. That is so much bigger. That is my, I'm using a froggy myth as a proxy for my creatures. He's a fun one. Anyway, for that initiative. Okay. Goat at it.

It only has the one eye right now. It has multiple eye stalks that are piercing out of its weird, shambling hide. Right. All right, so 25 to 20. 22. 22, we got to check here. Sorry, natural 20, I took it.

That was the best out. 20 to 15. 15. 18. Did you Sorry, natural 20, I took it. That was a messed up. 20 to 15. 15. 18. Could you roll a natural 20? Yeah. Okay. That gives me a boon. I'll take it. Well, I rolled a natural 20 earlier, too.

No, only if I roll it. I just had to pull a cookie into my mouth. Chet, Fern, Imogen, right? Yes. All right, 15 to 10. 10, five. Nine. All right.

Chetfer and Imogen. You did this. You did this. Yeah. I got stupid lucky with these rolls. Whoa! Okay. Oh, holy moly. Three, four.

All righty. It's good, clerics go last. We can heal everybody. Yeah. God bless y'all. I'm so impressed. All right, so now with your control water active, and each side's out there as you're now pushing

the wave up the river. We're going towards it? Well, that's, yeah. It jumped, that's not on me. Okay, okay. Yeah, just in the river there. So the turn begins, and it carries it down a little bit

along the river there. Oh boy. The top of each round. Top is Chetney. Yup. Sure is, with my bonus action. I'm going to take out the scythe. Utter the magic word.

And they're yummy. And I'm going to draw it up my calf. And you'll see flames dance up the side of the scythe. I'm going to hold my attack until I come within range. You got it. Okay, that finishes your go. It is now the creature's turn. Natural 18 on its initiative there.

Oh no! How far away did you say it was? Currently? Currently? Currently, it's about 40 feet from you. It's going to go ahead and block the path in the middle there. It's actually going to move a little bit closer there, and it's going to make two tentacle strikes,

one towards Frida and one towards Fearne, the very front, against Frida. That's going to be a 23 to hit. It hits. All right. You take 22 points of bludgeoning damage, and you are grappled. What? Okay. 22 points of bludgeoning damage and you are grappled. What? Okay.

22 points. Matthew, that's too many. Then against Fearne, that's going to be a 26 to hit. That does hit. You take 18 points of bludgeoning damage. Fearne is within five feet of me, so I'm going to impose disadvantage on that.

Okay. Oh! That's going to bring it to 17. It just hits. Okay. Shoot. Okay, so 18. 18 points of bludgeoning damage, and you are also grappled.

Okay. So both of you are wrapped around by the tentacles that it has. I have to be ready to get off this raft. So you're both held there for a second, and then... Let's see, five, 10, 15, 20. Yeah, it's going to lash its tongue out at you. The weird jagged mouth opens,

and this long, protruding black tendril whips out towards you for a 19 to hit. That hits. That hits. Actually, no, you have to make a strength saving throw for me, if you don't mind. Yes, okay, not too bad here, not too bad. That is a 16 plus five, so 21.

21, the tongue goes and strikes you, and you see it pulling, trying to pull you towards its body, and you manage to reach out and shove it off of you and pull it free. You're still grappled by the tendril, but the weird tongue extension pulls back into its mouth.

That's going to end its turn, bringing us to Fearne. You're up with a midget on deck. Can I elect to... I will not. I was going to ask if I can elect to fail. You can, if you want to. Why not? I will elect to fail.

Okay. So you reach over and grab it and pull it free, and then succumb to it. Smart. Get pulled forward right into the water. Your legs are now dangling, the water splashing past your legs as it's now brought you to the front of it

and it's starting to withdraw you towards its mouth. But that finishes its turn. Fearne, you're up. Imogen, undyne. All right, Scorch and Ray into the mouth. Go for it. So three strikes, three attacks. But I grappled, so does that, am I? Grappling means you can't move currently.

Nobody tongues Frida except for me! First 19. 19 hits. That's a natural 19, so 29. Hits. And 16. Hits, all three hit. So that's 6d6 fire damage. You would consider this a humanoid, right?

Yeah, absolutely! Okay, cool. Calm those emotions. Look at that neck. Yes. That's a strong neck. I see a neck-like thing. Two arms, two legs, a neck. Okay.

18 points of damage. 18 points of damage. The three columns of fire blast into it. You see it burns, but the somewhat moist and waterlogged exterior of it seems to dampen the impact of the flames. It still takes damage, but not as much as you would hope. Okay.

I will also bamf out Mister. Okay. Mister is now currently up on your back, just coasting by. Oh god! Screaming over to him, just coasting by. Ah! Ah! Oh god. Screaming over to him. Sorry, that's a lot. Buddy!

I know it's a lot. All righty, that finishes your go for it? Yes, that finishes my go. Your turn with Frida on deck. All right. I am... Sorry. I don't want to hit Frida,

so I'm trying to figure out something. How far out are we now that it's closer? Is it within 30 feet? From you, about 30 feet. All right. I am going to use a... Where did my spell? You tell me, girl.

Where is it? Is it here? Oh, there it is, okay. Okay, I am going to use a sorcery point to double the distance of Inflict's Wounds, and I'm going to cast it at 4th-level. Ooh! So that would put it at, if it's 3d10, 2nd-level or higher,

that means 4d10, 5d10, 6d10. 6d10, yeah. 6d10 of damage. Dang! Max damage, baby! Let's roll to see if you hit. Right. Which I'm sure you're going to.

Stop! That's a 22. Roll to see if you hit. Right. Which I'm sure you're going to. Stop! That's a 22. 22 hits. Okay, okay, okay. Roll that 6d10 necrotic damage. Let's go! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Where's all my 10s that I had earlier?

One, two, three, four, five, six. Right? Yes. Right? Wait. Yes. Wait, what? Yes. plus three is 15, plus 10 is 25, plus 15 is 40. 40 points. Let's go! Damn it. As you concentrate and focus the energy

of this gift that you carry within you outward, you see this small, little, slow-arching spark of black energy, almost like when you see lightning in slow motion. It travels through the air, connects with this creature, and then creates this connecting tether of black energy that shoots forth and slams into it as it hits the front of its, what you could assume its face would be, though the stalks seem to shift and move, and even its facial features seem to be somewhat amorphous. It hits and blackens the area around it, like this cracking spray of black

veins across its surface, and it holds back. Angrily, its tongue still attached to Frida, who's now being swung around in front of it. Where normally you would see Imogen's eyes flare white, when she casts something higher level, in this instance, it's almost like a cloudy black starts coming over her eye. Ooh. Ooh. All righty. That's cute. Got to kill it.

That's a hefty hit on that one. You stay put on your turn? What does that mean? Yes. Meaning stay on the raft? Yeah. Move 30 feet forward. Shpoof! Yeah, I'm... I suppose I will stay on the raft.

All righty, finishes your go, Imogen. Frida, you're up. It's being thrashed around. I see and feel that impact, and I'm going to change the hand into the blunderbuss. I will impose Sharpshooter and take the first shot. Crossbow Expert negates disadvantage. Negates disadvantage, yeah, it does.

There we go. Nice. Let's go. Kaboom. That is, that's a nine. Nine plus, well, minus, but nine plus 12 minus five, so nine plus 16. So, so, nine plus 12 so nine plus 16. So, so, nine plus 12 minus seven, so 16. 16 still hits.

All right! Let's go! Plus 10 to damage. 2d8 plus six. 12 plus 10. 22. That's 22 points of damage. Nice! Bonus action, reload, action, shoot again. Sharp shooter.

Are you aiming for its face or inside the mouth? I'm aiming for inside the mouth, as it was pulled back. So the rest of you suddenly watch in this dark space, just a little bit of floating bit of purple energy out there and the flash of dark necrotic bolt. You suddenly see this this flash from the inside of its mouth and for a split second, it's like looking at a jack-o'-lantern.

You see the inside of its jaws lit up against the dark exterior. Take your next shot. Sharpshooter. Sharpshooter! You get caught up in the sharpshooter! Six plus 12 is 18. 18 minus five is 13. 13 just misses.

As it's withdrawing from the pain of the first shot, it slashes you around a bit and your shot goes wide and flashes into the nearby ward. No impact. I will smack the gun, action surge, and take one more. Yes! Reload and then your final attack to fire again.

Okay. So it sharpshoots you. Indeed. You got it. Yes! That does it. 18 plus 10 minus four, so that hits. That indeed hits. Go ahead and roll damage on this. 2d8 plus six.

What the hell is that number? That's a seven, right? Let me see. Yeah, that's a seven. 14 plus 10. 24. Dang! 46 points of damage in one round.

Dang! As one goes wide, the tongue begins to pull you in towards the mouth. You put one leg up to hold the side of the lip, jam the blunderbuss into its mouth, and once more, fire blasts the smoke off of the outside of the gun's barrel, and the rest of you see a secondary flash as bits of some sort of liquid

go spraying out of the inside of its mouth. 14 plus 10? Yes, ma'am. 24. But don't you add anything to your attack? Plus six, 30. Whoa! Good. There you go. Thank you.

52 points of damage on that. Ha ha! And none of you would know because you're behind me, but it knows that I'm smiling. Yeah! That's rad. All right, does that finish your turn? That finishes my turn, yes.

All right, now the pixies go. What?! The what? Yay, pixies! They're just, they're just, no, no, they're, no. But they're on our side, yeah? They're helping us. Homies.

No, they're not. Oh no. Maybe they are. Maybe they are. This one here saw where that streak of dark energy comes from, and it glides up. You can see that little bit of a white energy that surrounds it, and it gives this little cooing sound.

I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me. No! No! My puppy does the same thing and then it attacks. Guidance? Unfortunately, no. I figured. That's why I lose a question. Wisdom, 12.

12. 12. You finish blasting this forward, see this pixie out of the corner of your eye and turn to try and focus your will, but you only barely catch it in a split second. The darkness around you and the thrashing of the- Is this being charmed? Am I being charmed?

No. Damn it. You got to ask, you got to ask. But good looking out, as you are polymorphed into a fox. Oh! That's the funniest thing in the world. Clutching onto this raft now,

being thrashed around as a fox. What's wrong with the fox mane? What's wrong with the fox mane? There it is. They do try to trick us. They do try to trick us. Yeah, all right, well. Okay.

Once I get that one, concentrating on that. Oh. No, I'm just thinking out loud, sorry. Aw. I'll undo that. Yeah. This one over here, looking at Fearne's grapple, doesn't feel too bad, it's going to go ahead

and look over at, let's say,, doesn't feel too bad. It's going to look over at, let's say, Deanna. Hi. No. It's going to cast... It's going to cast Polymorph on you as well, make another wisdom saving throw for you. Oh, I have advantage. I want to save. Natural 20.

Boom! There it is! Resisted the magical effect, but he. What are you doing? Go home! Go on, get! That one looks deeply frustrated. While the one back here is going to go ahead and is going to go ahead and cast...

Hmm. It is going to go ahead and cast... Hmm. It's cookie time. It is cookie time. Yeah. This one's going to go ahead and cast... It's cookie time. Confusion. Oh, the cookie monster has the big dad. On you, Fearne. Cookie time. Joke's on the pixie.

Fearne's always confused. Oh yeah! I'm neutral, so you didn't have to. He's going to Confusion. Make a wisdom saving throw for me, please, Fearne. Me? Okay. You're good'm neutral, so you didn't hear. He's going to confuse you. Make a wisdom saving throw for me, please, Fearne. Me? Okay. You're good, you're good, you're good. Who?

Who? Me. The spread rate of high is 3.1%. You got it. That's all I got. Wait, I have advantage against spells and other magical effects. Correct. So is this not?

You have advantage, right? I have advantage on it? Yeah. Good, I'm going to use another dice. Okay. That's worse. Okay. 14. No, no, no, I'm so sorry. 18. 18. You shrug off.

You're familiar with polymorph magic, and the minute that you can feel it trying to work its way into your body. No! You shout, no! And the spell just dissipates, no effect. Two frustrated pixies glimmer on the side of the river, preparing their next round.

However, that finishing their go, Deanna, you're up with FCG on deck. I got it! Sorry, what's happening? You're up. Oh, great. It's your turn. Okay. For my action, we're going to use Control Water. Bring us even closer faster.

No. We're going to use flood on this one. Nice. Which, when cast in a body of water, creates a 20-foot wave. Ooh! I want it to go from this side to that side, 20 feet high, so it should actually hit those pixies.

Damn! Okay. It doesn't cause damage, but it can capsize boats. So you're just sending the water here into the river or what you're on? Not trying to capsize us, yeah. Creating a wall, starting at the bad guy and going that way.

Yeah. Okay. So we'll say as this wave pushes through and it is definitely high enough, all the pixies flittering. This wall of water slams into them. You can't see their light. You just see the river swell and then slam into the side. I'm going to make a concentration check

for the one who's holding Polymorph. That is going to be, what's your spell, DC? 17. 17. Loses concentration. There we go. And with that, you are no longer a fox, and you are back to engine. And they're all pushed.

Actually, let me roll some strength saving throws here. Pixies, no further strength. Yeah. It says throw. Nope! 10, two, six. I said get. You don't even see the pixies right now.

You just see water wash them away. You don't see them. Whoa. Their wings are wet. Do I count that? They're just on the ground like, ah! Nah. Bad guy's pretty well anchored at this point.

He gets pushed. I'll say he gets pushed five feet this way. Ooh, you know what? I'll take it. I just like to feel effective. Bonus action, Spiritual Weapon, giant mace of I'll take it. I just like to feel effective. Bonus action, spiritual weapon, giant mace of the Dawnfather comes out. Nice. Does a hit.

I'll say, here, Dawnfather, I'm going to go with this big old glowing mace dude right here. Thank you. Big old hammer. 24 to hit. On the side here, behind him? What's the range on it? 60 feet? 60 feet.

So yeah, you can put it behind him if you wanted. Yeah, let's put it behind him. Okay. Tap him on the back of the head. You got it. Go ahead and roll for the attack. 24 to hit. And... That definitely hits. Nine points.

Nine points of damage. It takes the hit, and one of the eyestalks looks behind. Doesn't feel like it's distracted, but it definitely took a hit. Sweet. I'm just yelling, Let Frida out! All righty, finishing your go, FCG, you're up.

So Frida's in the mouth? Frida is in front of it, but it has this weird tongue pseudopod that's attached to Frida and it's trying to pull it into its mouth. And it probably will on the next turn. Maybe. Don't manifest that. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Mabu is a real turn. Maybe. Don't manifest that.

Yeah, that's what you're going to do. My boo is a realist, okay. Okay, so we're using head names and stuff now. Okay, okay, okay. Frida, Frida, Frida. How do I help Frida? I don't have anything that can cut. Buzz up. I mean, I do, but it's on me.

Throw it. I'll throw me at him. How far are we from the beast? You are about 25 feet from him. 25 feet. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll roll to the front of the ship. What are you seeing, Gilligan's Island?

What's going on over there? No, it's giving me the Ultros battle theme, because it's pretty much the same. I can't let Frida go. I can't! I can't! That's the thing that killed me. Thank you. Yep, yep.

I can't! I will fire my grapple cannon at the creature's toothy maw. All right, roll for an attack. Two. That didn't work! Hey, maybe don't call the shot before you do. Because that's an expectation. Oh boy, that didn't work at all.

That's your action. That is my action! Well, that changes a lot. I will then, following Deanna's lead, I will also summon a spiritual weapon at level four. Nice, all righty. Right next to Deanna's. All righty.

You had a Mace of the Dawnfather? I'm going to have a slightly bigger Mace of the Changebringer. Interesting, okay. My god, it's better than yours. It is a competition, and mine's better than yours. It is a competition. All right, okay. And mine's better than yours. That's so interesting. Okay, I'll use this one, because it looks wilder.

It does look a little bit better. It looks a little better, yeah. It's a little better. All right, and I will roll to hit. It's not about the size of the mace. Oh, wait! I had advantage from Chetney on that last one. Yeah, so you advantage on his attack roll. The second one was a 19,

so the Grapple Cannon would have shot, would have hit! Okay, so you want to do that instead? Uh-huh. All right. That does hit. The Grapple Cannon strikes. You roll damage for it. Yeah, the Grapple Cannon does what now? It gets a, either a d6 or a d8. It should be on the eight. It's not very much.

No, it's not a damaging weapon. Oh, one d8 plus three. Hey, six points of damage. Six points of damage is nothing. But also, it brings me closer to it. Indeed. You are now one up against it. So here's the thing, when I was saying earlier,

all the robots have a death wish, and I was like, maybe I'm being reductive. I heard you. But no! You idiots get back on the boat! Heard you. Is this really a boat? Can you call it a boat? It was a goat boat for a little bit.

So now that I'm with him, how can I help him? What's he going to need to do? To break a grapple? Is this a grapple? I just want it. I don't want it to be broken, but it is. You're going to go in there?

I can shoot it from inside. All right, then I'll, oh boy. Oh boy, you're crazy. Crazy in love. Crazy in love. I swear to god, if you all kiss. I'll give you a big kiss. I cast Flood and Drown myself. I guess as a bonus action, since that was a...

I'll cast Shield on Frida. The Shield of? Oh, sorry, Shield of Help. Shield of Help, you got it. All righty, so that gives you a plus two to your AC, I believe. Cool, thank you, thank you, and I kiss you back. All'll have, yeah. All righty. So that gives you a plus two to your AC, I believe. Cool, thank you. Thank you, and I kiss you back.

All right, you got that concert in there. All righty. So, that finish your turn, FCG? Yep, that's it. All right. At the end of the round, are we, is Chetney within 60 feet of this? Well, here's the thing. Oh.

Uh-oh. It strikes into them and then begins to spin this way. It's blocking the path and gets about there. So the creature's now sitting in the middle of the river. It gets moved a little bit. The raft cracks into it and begins to shift this way as the water's carrying it around it. You're still 10 feet from it.

Oh yeah, could I move on the raft to get up within melee? I'll allow it. Oh, from my previous round attack! Wait, oh. I'll allow it, just because it's a small enough space and this is all happening here. It literally is just a step and you're already readying an attack.

Okay. You're so generous. You say that. 21 to hit. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Seven, five, 11, plus three points, which I took. It's 14 points of slashing damage.

14 points of slashing damage. Then it also takes a 1d8. Thund... Thunder! Thunder. You have a Thunder. One point of. Thunder. Feel the thunder. One point of thunder, too. All right.

And a second hit. Thunder. Is it 12 plus 10? 22 to hit. 22 to hit. Let's go. Eight plus five, 13 plus three. 16 plus six!

22 points! 22 points of damage. Crack-a-doom! All right, that's the top of the round. Oh, it's me again? Now it's your turn again. Let's go! Yay, Jett! Let's go, Mr. Pock-a-pee!

That's really cute. Go, Jettie. Is that a, what is that? Is it a fuzz or a spider? Oh my god, is it a spider? Descending? It's fuzz. No! I'll take two more swings.

Go for it. With a scythe, because we're farming for hits. Natural attire! Yeah! Roll that dice. How exciting. That's how we do.

FCG. He's holding extra 20, so you. All right. Got it right there. It's a reminder. I'm glad you're happy. 15. 15 plus, no, plus three.

Eight. Plus. Jesus! You're a mess. 20 points Stand there. 20 points of damage. 20 points of damage. Strike, nice. Five, no. Ah!

19 to hit on the second one. That still hits? Okay, cool. 10 plus five, 15, plus eight is 18. 18 plus four, 22! 22 points on the second one. Nice. Both strikes with your scythe carving into the side 18 plus four, 22! 22 points on the second one. Nice.

Both strikes with your scythe carving into the side of this weird bog-wretch beast. Does that finish your turn? It's seven. You make me giggle, the giggles hurt. I'll just take this way more seriously. What? Yeah, that's an inventory.

All right. It's now the Boggrich's turn. No. No! First, we'll go ahead and take a bite attack against you. I'm going to move up onto land. I'm going to get up over. You're going to move up onto land? I jump up there, I can get up here, yeah.

Okay. There you go. All right. So the bite attack against up here, yeah. Okay. There you go. All right. So the bite attack against Frida is going to be... We are totally good. I could jump off. Okay. 26 to hit. We're all just going to stack that.

Even with the shield? Crisp, man. Just hits, man. All right, just making sure. Just making sure. That is going to be... 19 points of piercing damage. I'll take half of it.

All right, so that's nine points to you, 10 to you, Frida. Okay. And Frida is swallowed by the creature and vanishes into the dark. No! Just like we planned! Mr. Pock-a-pee knows. It can't be happening!

Oh my god. All right. Then also, it's going to go ahead and strike with two more of its tentacles. One's going to go ahead and be towards you, Deanna, and the other one towards you. Me? Yep. Little old me? Yep.

Oh, my. That's going to be 18 to hit. Miss. Misses. Nice. Off of your shield, you deflect it and keep it low to the ground. Against you, that's going to be a 22 to hit. 22 to hit. You too. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Take on me. 17 points of bludgeoning damage. Yeah.

Take on me. A dual grapple. Oh no. Take on me. Then its tongue, now finishing having swallowed Frida, is going to lash out towards you, Deanna, since you dodged the one tentacle. I need you to make a strength saving throw for me, please.

Oh, great. So who's grappled? Oh great, 19. I'm grappled. 19. It hits your shield, and as it pulls away, you yank the shield back and you hear the tearing sound as the adhesive at the end of its tongue pulls off the shield, not dragging it closer to you.

I'm keeping it! Your tongue goes a little numb. All right, with that, it's going to go ahead and leap. Lick a toad. Whoa! Lick a toad. Back of it here. Howl in your bus. To try and block its path this direction and get a little closer to you.

Do we get some attacks of opportunity? The only one that would would be Fearne and FCG. Well, that's somebody. Oh no! And me. Fearne and FCG, if you want to, you have attacks of opportunity on the creature if it leaps backwards. Yes! Are you peeling off narrative cards?

Yeah. I don't know how it started, so it's not supposed to be. And you grappled with the creature still? Yeah. So you get dragged along with it. Oh shit. I probably can't do it at any opportunity then.

Nope, you're still next to it. Am I pulled forward on the raft if I'm grappled too? Currently, the tentacle that holds you as it leaps in the air, it has slack, and it pulls taut as it lands. Okay. So not yet. So yeah, you're pulled towards it. So Fearne, if you want to take an attack opportunity,

you can. Yes, I will. I'll shoot an're pulled towards it. So Fearne, if you want to take an attack opportunity, you can. Yes, I will. I'll shoot an ice knife at it. Well, their opportunity has to be with a weapon. Okay. Unless you have your Warcaster, you can do it. No. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.

I'll just try to scrape it with my sickle, then. Go for it. Shoop! All right. I don't think I've ever actually used this. You are up after this, too, Fearne. Say again? You do this, and then it's your turn after it.

You could do this as a rapid succession. All right. That would be... Matt, would you say I'm in melee with him now? Probably not yet. You are within his melee, he is not within yours. Oh, because he's a. That was a six.

That misses, but it is now your turn. What do you want to do? All right. So what I'm going to do is, I am going to cast Entangle on the creature and try to take vines from that side to try to pull him onto the bank. Yes. Okay, okay. Not again.

Strength saving throw of 18. 18? 18. Nice. All right, you got it. Has a pretty decent strength, but then rolled a natural five, so that's a failure on its point. So the creature is restrained by the plants, and we'll say it's currently being

essentially held up against the bank here. Cool. It's like pulled up against the side of vines and chunks of heavy roots from the base of that tree are now wrapping around it and pulling it towards the side. All right, and I know fire doesn't do much, but. FCG gets pulled along.

Oh! Mister's going to throw some flaming shit. Where's my light? Dan-oo, doo-doo. Does Mister want to move at all? Here's my light. All right. Do do do do do. Does Mister want to move it all? Um. Where's he at right now?

He's right here. Yeah, up a little closer next to me. Yeah, keep him next to me. You got it? Oh, that's not great. 12. 12 misses, unfortunately. Lobs a flaming turd that arks off into the wood.

He has, he has, he has. How dare you. All right, that's my turn. All right, finishing your go. Yes. Imogen, you're up with Frida on deck. Okay. Twigs, twigs.

Twigs, twigs. If I, yeah, if, I mean, I assume that if I did something that would do telepathic damage in an area, that Frida would also be affected. If it hits everything within a radius? Yeah. Yes. Okay.

Okay. Don't let that deter you. In that case, I don't want to do that much damage. Because it's telepathic, yes. If it was physical, then it has total coverage. No, it's fine. I'll just, I'm going to do what I did before, and since the, is it a tentacle or a tongue that's wrapped around me?

Right now, it's a tentacle. I'm going to grab ahold of the tentacle and I'm going to inflict wounds again. Okay. Nice. Go ahead and roll a tentacle. It's funny to me. Do I have advantage because I have two hands on it? No, it's still a melee strike.

It may pull the tentacle away. The haggle. But I appreciate the haggle. I mean, it's right here, you know? It's not like I'm trying to hit it. It's wrapped around me. Right. Yeah, I was just wondering.

16. 16 hits. Yeah! It doesn't have a super high AC because it is broad and easy to grasp. Yeah. Okay. All right. 12, 15,

29. Nice. 29 points of damage. Ooh, he's looking hard. He's looking rough. He's looking real rough. This creature, as you reach out and now grab the tentacle, the black energy instills within it

and you watch as the tentacle itself begins to crack and darken along the way. The once weird, slimy striations of its skin now begins to become rigid and paper-like. The tentacle, while still holding onto you, you can feel the strength waning. Okay. All right, does that finish your turn?

I don't know if this is... No, stop it! There's no way this is going to work, but I'm going to try to shove it away from me with Telepathic Shove. Okay, that's a strength save. It fails, man, this guy's rolling real bad. Incredible. It's pushed back five feet, drags FCG with it.

I'll say I'll pull you with it, since you are technically grappled. I thought maybe it would let go. And Fearne pulled, actually, Fearne's about the right distance. You shoved it, you went with it. Ow, okay, well, that's dumb. That's very accidentally.

All right, with that, Frida, you're up. Oh boy, I will... You are currently blind and restrained. You are held within its body. Ain't nothing. The acidic chemicals within its body will begin to digest you shortly. Bring it on.

I'm going to bonus action Second Wind. Okay. Which is how many? I think it's 1d10 plus six, is that right? Sorry, let me just make sure. You know, you could just do whatever else with your bonus action. That's absolutely true. You know. You know what's going on. Yeah. I will bonus action reload. Okay. Let's go.

I'm inside the dark. I'll aim straight up and Sharpshooter, take a shot at it. Go for it. Now, you are restrained, so you have disadvantage on the strike. Cool. So you're aware. Disadvantage, give me a 20. 20, where are you? No, I don't like that.

Natural 20 and a nine. So that's a nine plus 12, minus five, which hits. That would hit, yep. So still from the inside, you strike, picking a direction and you see this brief blast. All the rest of you see the top of its head go.

Oh, and the cheeks. Yep, smoke pops out of the center of its mouth. 29 points of damage. Yes! Wow. Dude, your one hit is equal to a fourth of a missile. That's really amazing. But I only got the gun it bails its constitution save

and vomits you out into the water. Sploosh. You immediately fall into the current and about to be swept in the river. He's made of metal! Do I have any movement? You are currently prone in the water, so you can attempt to swim for half your distance,

if you'd like. How far am I from the bank, from where Mr. Pocky is? 10 feet. Okay, so it'll take me half my movement to get to the surface of the water, is that the deal? Essentially, yeah. So yeah, so I'll 15 feet up,

and then 15 feet to the bank. Okay, so you just get back onto the bank with the rest of your movement, and there you are. Can I see Mr. Pocky? He's right up on the rock above you. Frida! I'll just give Hibucky. Frida! I'll just give you a wink, Mr. Pocky. Oh, I can see what MCG likes about you.

That's my chief. All right, with that, the water that cast this way has passed over and the three pixies get back up and fly back to where they were, being pushed 30 feet away. Unhappy. One of them is going to cast...

I said, look nothing. It's going to cast Sleep on you. Okay. What? Okay, nope, yep, that doesn't matter. So let's go ahead and roll this and see what we can do. That is... Freeze. Here's the thing.

Do you have more than 20 hit points? Yes. The spell has no effect on you. Wow. You feel a bit of your consciousness begin to wane, like your body is suddenly starting to go into its shutoff mode, and you shrug it off. You hear a pixie go,

Hey, I said get! Another one is going to cast Phantasmal Force. Ooh. Uh-oh. That's a good one. I would like an intelligence saving throw from you, Chani. Ah!

Too bad, you stupid pixies. I'm a smu- Do I still have disadvantage? I do, don't I? It's a magical effect, though. With an advantage on it, so just a straight roll. This is an ability. This is an ability, this is a saving throw.

So you have advantage on it because you're a gnome. Ah, maybe. Natural 20! You're fine, shrug off the effect. Pish posh, pie is 3.14759876. And the third fairy, seeing all this, is going to go ahead and just turn invisible. Yeah, good call.

Nope! Just vanishes from sight. We weren't messing with you! I exploded. You didn't have to do magic! Just leave! That finishes their go. With that, it brings us to Deanna's turn with FCG on dash.

All right, let's get a Mass Cure Wounds in the club. Yo! Whoop! So everybody, yeah, everyone in the area is going to take, okay, that's a pretty good roll. Hold on. Who's ever known how a spell has ever worked?

And I ruined the Sunday one, so I got to get it right this time. 14, this one is 18. 30 points. Whoa! Slick. I thought I made a touchdown. That'll do. Yeah. 30 points and then bonus action, spiritual weapon.

Smack him in the side of the head. All right, can I try to target the tentacle, connecting it to FCG? FCG is not connected by a tentacle. FCG is connected by his own grappling hook. Oh, okay, well, that's silly. By choice. Then image it. That's silly.

Sure, we'll move it up here so we can try and smash the one that's on here. If you can do more than 12 points of damage. I didn't hit it, so don't worry about it. It's okay. Okay. I said 12. 12 does not hit, yeah. Yeah. So.

We can just move on with our day. Okay, no worries. I did healing! You did healing, which is great. All righty, from there, FCG, you're up. Can I, for the grapple hook that is embedded in the flesh of this behemoth. Yes.

Do I have to wrestle it free? Do I just retract it? You can just choose to retract it if you like. Okay. But if I do, I will fall into the water. Yes. Cool. Does it instantly retract?

Could I retract it and then shoot it again real quick, or do I have to reel it in, reset? Because you've already reeled yourself into it, you're pretty proximity, you're pretty much pulled into it right now. Okay. So, I thought you could. Well, then I will retract. You're about to fall back into the water.

And I will shoot it to the shoreline. Where everyone else is? Yes. Towards that tree right there? Yeah, trying to hit the tree. Go ahead and roll for an attack with it. Oh, but I get an advantage because of good old Chutney again. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

19. That hits. Plus four or something. So as you're falling back, it flickers off, pulls Todd against the tree, and right as you hit the water, you pull yourself upward and free. Amazing, nice. Right up into and past this right here. Woo hoo!

Kind of swinging by it and then landing. You're on your attack on Titan. And then bonus action, now I will do the slightly better mace attack. Okay. What level are you setting? Fourth level, yes. Rolling to hit.

10 plus, what is it? That'd be good. Is it? 14 to hit. You're good. Oh, it's only a 14 to hit? Oh, then yeah, 17 to hit. 17 hits, go ahead and roll damage. At 4th-level? At 4th-level, I think it's 2d8.

It is, thank you. Every two levels. Yes, you're right. 2d8, six, seven, that's 13, plus three, 16. 16 points of damage on it. Oof, it's looking real rough right now. The eye socks are starting to flick around, and now you can see four of them

have emerged in different places, and they're all starting to look a bit panicked. It looks like it might be going for a run. That finish your turn, FCG? Yes, please. All right, top of the round. This raft now continues to cruise down, slams into it, and then glides. Oh my god!

You're about to die. This way. Who's on the raft still? Imogen. Yep. And Deanna? And Deanna. And Deanna. The ladies.

It's a ladies' boat, and the feeling's throat. Kill the goat. Chetney, you're up. Oh, what a boat. Okay. Oh, what a boat. It's good.

Oh, what a boat. I'm going to take the scythe and I'm going to swing it over my head and I'm going to arc it towards the wretch and I'm going to take the scythe and I'm going to swing it over my head and I'm going to arc it towards the wretch and I'm going to cast Shatter, but it's going to hit in between the tree and the creature, but only five feet from the tree so that it'll hopefully not just hit it, but also the tree trunk and see if I get that bitch to fall. So blasting it from here, what's the radius on it?

60 feet, 10 feet, 10-foot sphere. 10-foot sphere, so yeah, you can definitely get both without hitting your friends in the center, like right around here, essentially hitting it and blasting it there. Yeah. All right, go ahead and roll damage. It's a constitution save.

Uh. Fuck, this guy has a plus nine con save, but I keep rolling shitty fucking saving throws. Oh man. No, it's fine. There are rounds where I wreck you guys, so it I keep rolling shitty fucking saving throws. Oh, man. No, it's fine. There are rounds where I wreck you guys. It's a 16. 16, he rolled a 14.

Amazing. 15, nine, 24, 24 points of thunder damage. 24 points of thunder damage. Oh, that's a loud one. Ooh. This massive explosion rings out throughout the middle of the night air here.

The splintering of wood and the blasting of water, just as you watch as the reverberations of the impact causes the surface of the lake to spray mist for a second. You also hear the tree tumble down, roll 2d8, bludgeoning in the air. Let's go! Max damage, max damage. Uh, 11. 11.

Nice. That's so cool. Oh! That's so rad. Falls into the water. How do you want to do this? Yeah! I'll just look at him and go, Timber, motherfucker.

It falls forward, and as it does, you watch as the creature backs away and tries to go to run for it as the tree collapses on top of it. As it does, it holds it down into the water, and you watch as something about this tree, even while cut, seems to almost reach out and pierce this creature,

almost like it's trying to take the life from it. Dang. The creature's trying to take the life from it. Dang! The creature's trying to crawl its way forward into the water, and as it does, the branches seem, as the tree itself is carved and dying in its own right, is still grasping and piercing into its body until it comes to rest,

halfway stabbed into this creature, the creature itself, the bog wretch, slowly crawling forward before it flumps down into the water, no longer moving. Nice. With the rest of that turn, can I call the FCG and go, Follow me!

I'm going to hop up on the leaned over bark of the tree and try and run across it to the raft. Sure, yeah. There's just enough space. That's so cool. Now, this would be a very precarious bumper pool-type bounce around here if you weren't still concentrating on control water. Boom! So what would be a series of saving throws

to not be knocked into the river and lose control, you'll be able to completely ignore because of control water. Nice. So you immediately right the raft and squeeze it to this tiny space between the fallen tree and the massive corpse of this waterlogged creature. As you slow down the water just enough

for your friends to start running up the tree, and all leap atop and land safely onto the raft and continue your journey down the road. Quick question. Wow. As I'm preparing to get on there, can I just quickly see if there's any wood from that tree that fell off that I can grab? Well, there's plenty of splintered pieces.

I'll pick up a bunch of pieces. Okay, you just grab an armful of wood and dart over with what looks like firewood-ready timber. I'm going to send one more tidal wave of water towards those pixies, just in case they didn't get the get the fuck out scoot. Your guy's dead, go home. And they just get. Guarded back off into the wood.

Ants and stuff by the side of the pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out of here. You got it. Take that. Hit! All right. That was dope. Read the river. That's great. Fun. Read the river.

That was incredible. You were incredible. Thank you. Oh my god. Wow. Is everyone okay? Are you okay? I'm fine, yes, thank you. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. This is the most fun I've had in a long time.

Why are you like this, Mr. Shit? I attribute our success to the blood of the goat. Oh yeah. Oh, the happy brain. Praise the goat. Mr. Puckabee, the happy place. Place of ghosts. Mr. Puckaby, this looks like good wood. Oh! I'll make excellent. Is it moving?

It's slightly shifting in your direction. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It stopped moving. I'll make good use of this. Is everyone okay?

Does anyone need healing? No, you took care of that during the fight. That was awesome. You're just still rolling. Back to it. I have one job. It might be stupid. You can wait for, I'm going to say, eight more minutes,

because I still got the spell up. So why don't you take a little- I was wondering why it seemed so much lighter. Yeah, no, it's mostly you. Oh yeah, it's teamwork. It's between the two. Got so much stronger after the fight. Is it late at night now?

It's mid-evening. You'd probably imagine somewhere in the neighborhood between 8 and 10 p.m., maybe. Are we just going to keep going through the night on the raft, or do we park it on the side? It's scary out there. It is scary out there. We don't really have a way to track how far down the river we are. Until we get to that fork, that's all there is. Oh yeah, I'll bring the lights.

Is that dumb? I don't know. If we can hold the makeshift boat, I can climb a tree and see how far we are from. Stop the boat. Oh yeah. And I'll make my way to a tree and climb up and see how far that fork is. I'll be looking for what Mr. Pocket P says is the fork. That was two and a half days by boat.

Two and a half days by boat. You can go half days by boat. What have you been going for? 30 minutes. Well, a little more than that. I'm right there! I can see it! A couple hours. How far is the goat? I can see it!

You can climb the nearest tree, and as you get to the canopy of here, one, just the upward area of the branches smells of a musty decay, smells of a musty decay, like a fungal decay, but there's no fungus present across the top of this tree. You also note that beyond the starlight and when a little bit of moonlight hits the forest,

there is no other light source in this deep, dark forest. You can roll a perception check if you'd like. I'm just curious, is my sense of smell different? Oh my god. Roll a perception check. I'm fucking stressed out about this. You made a robot wolf. I haven't done anything yet.

It's common. Six plus 11. A way or a m haven't done anything yet. It's common. Six plus 11. A way or a moth. A 17. You don't notice anything, but you also can't see anything. It's too dark and you're too far from your destination. All you see is just this endless expanse of

rolling forest top and just what faint bit you can make out from the bit of moonlight that is still being presented by Catha. That's about all you can make out from the bit of moonlight that is still being presented by Catha. That's about all you can make out. I'll fall from the tree. Okay, I don't see much, but I think we should probably keep the light sources

to a minimum because we are the only light out here right now besides that. What if I bring the lights into the water in front of us? So it keeps it, just so we can see what we're doing, but it keeps the light at a much more diluted. And as for stopping to make camp, we can sleep on the boat, right? So we should just keep going.

As long as there's nothing in the river that's attracted to the light. Stop, you know there is. Like Savalirwood Anglerfish. Well, maybe that'll make... Others wouldn't be attracted to light. Whatever an anglerfish would want to eat will be attracted to light.

Okay, okay. He said it, and now I'm freaked out again. As it is now getting later in the evening, the fog that has taken the majority of the forest grows thicker and colder, and now begins to spread into the water itself. You begin to lose visibility deep across the river, maybe about 15, 20 feet ahead

before the fog consumes the majority. You're just now, you have the rush of the water around you, the shapes of the bank moving along, and the occasional branch or extended tree that breaks through the mist. This is not smart. This is not smart. This is not smart. It's just as foggy on the bank.

Yeah, but what if we have a giant waterfall ahead of us? We wouldn't even know. That's true. Are there waterfalls? Is that a thing? Is there a thing? I don't know.

You have not forded this river. Nope. And the map does not indicate any such feature. Well, I'm checking with my staff a foot ahead, so. Okay. I'd be able to see. Oop-a! Hey, guys!

Can you talk to the fish or anything? Or be a fish? I mean, sure. I don't see why not. I've never been one before, but I could try. But what am I doing in there? Just asking about any waterfalls coming up. Are there even animals around?

Like, normal animals, or is it all just monstrous beings and fairies? You want to look in the water to see if there's any fish? Stop. Well, I have the light in there. Yeah, make a perception check. Can anybody help me? I suck at this. I'll look with you.

I cast Guidance. Thank you. Nice. That's okay, well. It's true.. Thank you. Nice. That's okay, well. It's true. I'm killing it. Yeah. Oh wait, I'm still exhausted. You are.

Oh, I figured. I'm just going to roll again. I'm saying I'm pretty cool. Yeah. I'm rolling perception, 18. 18. Oh, that's pretty good. Takes about a good five to 10 minutes or so, but you do see a few fish beneath the water,

fat catfish-looking fish, these dark shapes that are swimming along, not quite as quickly as your raft at the moment, but then occasionally speed up and continue out of sight. But there are things that live in the water below. All right. Yeah? There's fish. All right.

You ever talk to a fish before? I don't think so. No time, like the present. Will you tell us if they're being mean to you? And we'll kill them. Okay, I will. All right, like the present. Will you tell us if they're being mean to you? And we'll kill them. Okay, I will. All right, here I go. Oh god!

You're just going in the water. Are you just going? Yeah, yeah, well. Wait, am I swimming or am I just the head? No, just stick your head, don't go in the water. Do you want us to hold you? So only my head is going to turn into a fish? Oh!

Wait, am I turning into a fish? It's up to you, you're the druid. We could just, you could be a fish and we could just hold you in there. Well, oh, I understand, okay. I could use my grapple line and you could like. Hold your ass, Finn. Okay. It's a identical term.

All right, so what I'm going to do is, I'm going to turn into a, like a, like a, hang on, give me just a second. You? All right, I'm going to turn into a fish. Oh no. This is going to come back on. This is ruin me specifically.

There's only two of them, I have no idea. All right, so I'll turn into a fish. Is this what I'm doing? What are you doing? You're the druid! Okay, I'm turning into a fish. Are you trying to speak with fish? Yeah. Do you have a spell that lets you do that?

I mean, speak with animals? If you want to cast that in advance, you can do that. Yeah, I'll cast that in advance. And then, you know, wait, why am I shaking? Why don't I just put my head underwater? All right, I'm just going to like. We'll hold you. Stick my, yeah. Okay, great.

I'm just going to sit on her legs. Oh, that's smart. Should we give her some air? Should we give her air, like with a hose or something? She'll just pull her head back up if she needs to breathe. She'll just into the freezing cold water of the Boreal Human River. It's good for your system.

It's a major metabolism. Yeah. You travel for a short time before eventually you do see one of these thick black fish that just swimming through the water. Hello! You watch as it glances in your direction. You do not see eyes on it.

It is eyeless. It slithers and recognizes your presence and keeps slithering. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Swimming. Swimming. Hey, can you come here for just a second? Make a persuasion. You got this.

I cast Guidance. I see her tail wagging. I'm not going to allow Guidance with this because you can't hear her talk fish. You don't know that! All right, Guidance? Okay, okay. No Guidance. No Guidance? 22. 22.

Woohoo, let's go! It swims over, up near your head under the water. The thing is probably about this long, head to tail, it's thick. No eyes, a black scale bit to it, and where its fins are, you can see that it gives these long, almost ribbon-like tethers that drift from the sides of its fins and its tail. It's a feta. It swims up next to you.

Hi. So we're trying to go to the... Shit, I don't even know what I was supposed to ask. I'm burning. You're kidding me right now. You're perfect. Where is the... We're supposed to go to the Savalir Wood.

Isn't that what this is? We're supposed to go... Are there waterfalls around here? No. Hang on just two seconds. What am I... What was I saying? Just ask me about waterfalls or hazards.

Okay. If there's something weird with it. Are there waterfalls, you know, things that are dangerous coming up in our path? Are we going to? No waterfalls. No waterfalls? Danger, yeah. What kind?

What kind is danger? Be specific. No waterfalls, but there's danger ahead. Like what kind? Like danger to a fish or danger to a boat? I asked him and he just said all kinds. Well, like animal dangers or? Did you mean like animal danger or?

Yep. Like big ones? Yep. I feel like this is not helpful. Okay. What's your name? I don't know. Oh, do you have family?

It opens its mouth and you see this long, nasty-looking secondary mouth that emerges, grins in your direction. The other mouth now talks. I love it. It's like Nandamori. Yeah. You are so cute.

You're okay. Come on, man! So basically, there's no waterfalls, but there's just danger of all kinds ahead? I think, yeah. Is there any way you could be a little bit more specific? Like, what should we prepare for? I mean, avoid the Wolf King.

The Wolf King? Yes! Why does the fish know about the Wolf King? The Wolf King?! Yes! Why does the fish know about the Wolf King? Let me write it down! Yeah, write that shit down. Wolf King! What is, what, who's that? She can hold her breath.

It's the Wolf King. Okay. He's just the Wolf King? I haven't seen him, I guess. Let's talk to Keepaway. You just hear about him from under here? Yeah, under the beach. Yeah.

From where I hit him. Oh. Where does he live? Just around? Like this. Okay. This guy's great. What does he eat?

He's so old. I know. This fish snorts. What does he eat? Probably dick. All right, I think I just... You're good. I just... Um, I don't know.

He said look out for a wolf king. What the fuck is that? I don't know. I think that's it. That's great, though. That's good intel. Should we not be on the raft at night? Maybe ask if the trees are going to eat us, too. Hey, hey, hey! Yeah.

Maybe it's wandering off, swimming and comes back. One more thing, one more thing. Is it okay, we have a raft up here, and we were going to just stay up here during the night instead of staying on the land? Is that right? Is that better? I don't know.

I've only been in the water. We got some extra goat meat up here if he wants to run a patrol for us. Does he know if the trees eat us? Oh, and I forgot about the trees. The trees, will the trees eat us? What eats a tree? I had a feeling. All right, I'm going to grab some little goats, maybe. Yeah, here you go.

Do you want? It immediately latches on your arm and swallows up to your mid-forearm. Sweet, you're officially a little bow. It's like oaky noodling. It's like catfish. Yep. You watch as Fearne pulls up and there's this catfish. Yep. You watch as Fearne pulls up, and there's this massive fish that's like. I try to throw him. Make a strength check for me, please.

Okay. Oh, I forgot. Minus two, okay. Minus two? 13. 13, you fling it off. And it swims off into the river. Bye! Wow. All right.

So. That was superb. I didn't get a lot of information, but there is a Wolf King. That was a lot of information. No waterfalls is great. No waterfalls is great, so, you know, we're safe to sleep on this, I think. According to some random fish, we're going to be fine.

And a wolf king? You said a wolf king? I guess my legend precedes me. Ba-bang! I left an impression. Last time I was here, here. Beat you to that bitch. What if that is who bit you?

No, didn't you kill the guy that bit you? I did. I think you did. No, I did. I totally opened him up. Was it here? Was it in this wood? Yeah. Maybe it's his son. The wolf prince.

Oh no. Chet, what if you are the Wolf King? What if I have a claim to the throne? A battle for succession? We could rule this land. Start chiseling yourself a crown. I already have. Un petit crown.

Don't you have a crown tattooed? Uh-huh. Yeah, what does that? Prophecy. RTA? Yeah, recognize the alpha. There's one in all of us, Deanna. Okay. In all of us.

I'm still weirdly turned on by that. Oh. See how it works? It's the goat blood. Yeah. It's two things. It's the goat blood. If you ever want to talk about why you're like this.

Yeah, thank you. The nature's aphrodisiac, goat blood. Goat blood! All right, we'll continue on. All right. Are we? Yeah, we just. On the raft? Yeah, because there's no goat.

I think it's a safe test. I asked him about maybe sleeping on land, but he didn't really know that meant. Okay, just be careful. Okay. All right. Who's the two Eomitons keeping watch for the evening again? That's okay. Unless they need extra rest for some reason?

No, I don't. All right. But I can turn on, should I turn on some lights so we can see? I'm going to turn on my lights. Oof. It is like a fog light. The entire fog in front of you is lit in this bright, diffused glow,

and you can still only, you actually have a shorter visual distance now with the lights on. Yeah, that's true. It's like, Crash the grass. You want to take the first watch or the second watch? I'll take first. All right. And I'll touch the power off,

but I'll hold his hand as well. Okay. And whoever is keeping watch also has to be acting as the runner. So it's your turn to do space work. Okay. Oh, yeah. I will Guidance myself. I mean, shit.

Oh, that's a natural one. Okay. You keep the lights on and it is not helping, but you don't know that. The rest of you sleep for the first watch. At one point, it begins to speed up and you realize there is a rapid decline. As some of you begin to wake up a bit

and you're feeling the because the raft itself is moving around before it rushes and splashes into a heavy bit of white water before it eventually evens out. You all come up, wake up for a second. Buddy check, buddy check, buddy check. Everybody here? Everyone down here?

You're all good. You're all good. Sorry, sorry, I didn't see that. But that is the most eventful moment of your watch. You can go ahead and take your roll as well, if you'd like. I'm going to keep watch with Fria. Okay. Oh, 19 plus 11, so 30. 30, okay.

Well, the rest of you rest and you stay up. Through the fog, you do see the occasional distant blue glow drifting in different distance points. You also hear echoing distant snarls. You swear you hear occasionally a voice by the side of your ear, and you turn and there's nothing there. Just a,

like a breath, and you turn and there's nothing there. And just the sense of this wood and the oppressive dark power that seems to permeate it seems to be pushing closer and closer as the night gets colder and colder. The sound of the rapids, just one little continuous sense to hold onto through this dark and alone period of the early morning hours.

Right up. Hey, you're awake? Yeah. No, I'm going to be more specific. Do you want to be a werewolf? You're very excited. Well, I don't not want to be. Mr. Pockopi looks like he has a lot of fun.

Fair, but he was also really scared and ashamed when he came back and thought he hurt you. That's true. I think I'm just taking it day by day. As for being scared, I'm always scared. But I think that's part of life. I'm scared that something will happen to you. Now I'm scared something will happen to Fresh Cut Grass.

I'll look over at Fresh Cut Grass. And everyone else here. They're good people. Okay. If it ever feels like it's too much, I think I can get rid of it if you want. But only if you want. You know what I want?

I would like... How do you pray, Deanna? Oh, what a fun question. When was the last time you prayed to the Dawnfather? Oh my god. I think shortly before meeting you. I haven't felt the need to since. Do I just speak to him? I think so. Do you mind just praying with me?

Of course. And I come over, and I'm going to cast, shielded under my hands and a little bit under my clothing, just a little bit of light that's that very specific pale yellow of the first rays of dawn. Go for it. Um, Dawnfather, I don't know if you're listening. I hope you're okay. Um, I know I've had my differences with you, and I can't really figure out why I'm here. But I just feel like I have to say thank you for bringing these people to us

and for bringing fresh-cut grass to me. And if someone is trying to hurt you, you can let us know and we'll do our best to stop it. Thank you. Okay, you're good. Okay. And I'll just sort of inspect myself and feel,

you know, do I feel different? I don't know. I don't know if that worked or not, but thanks for being here. I think it worked. If, um, if something's, you know, attacking or threatening them, I didn't really care about it until we met these guys.

Yeah. But I don't think we should let it happen, right? No. Look, we've had many an argument about how good the gods are, but I think these guys are doing the right thing. I think we just have to help them get as far as they can. As far as they can. Do you mind if I go sit with Fresh Cut Grass? Okay. I love you. I love you. I'll sit with Fresh Cut Grass? Okay. I love you. I love you.

I'll give you a kiss on the cheek. My red eyes open. Fucking bring it! Okay. Terminate. The rest of the evening, thankfully, is an eventful along the water itself. While in some cases,

a bit of a sitting duck in these dark evening moments, it seems to be a safer space to traverse the dangers of these woods, especially with minimal light. But eventually, slowly, the sky, from what you can see, begins to lighten and the rest begin to waken once more. Those of you who previously had exhaustion,

you heal into the point. Oh, man, are we back? We're coming! I need someone to roll another d20 for the next day of travel along this river. I'll do it, I'll do it. Don't miss it. Don I'll do it, I'll do it. Don't mess up.

Don't worry about it! 17. 17. Wow. This day, the fog begins to pull back until it just once again covers the floor of the Savalirwood. The dark shadow still concerning as it chokes the majority of your periphery. With the help of your watching eyes and Fearne's stick,

you avoid any dangerous, heavy rock embankments or sudden shifts in the river ahead of you that can't be forded safely, especially when you can control the waters momentarily. The majority of this day seems to go by without a major issue. A handful of moments where you see a large shadow moving just beyond the treeline,

and you all carefully keep low and quiet. At this distance, and the sound of the river being what it is, it seems to blanket you from gathering notice of some of the more dangerous denizens this close to the river. Just as we're passing Hunter's Bane, it was previously fey with that particular creature encounter.

Has that feeling changed at all as we've moved into this new section of the forest and river? I mean, you've been through the Salvalirwood before. It ranges. There are fey entities that were twisted by whatever through the Salvalirwood before. It ranges. There are fey entities that were twisted by whatever twisted the Salvalirwood, and there are other beasts and monstrosities that themselves have become swollen and changed over time.

Hundreds of years of it being the way it is has given rise to all new forms of terrible life. I didn't know if there were territories that one might pass through that might be more undead or fiendish or feyish or different flavors of. I'll note that you're keeping a nose out for that. I'm going to mage buff myself. All right, there you go.

Mage buff, you're up. But this day goes by without an issue, and that comes to the close of your second day. You have a half day more of travel before you are expecting to come upon the Fork here in the Boreal Omen River. The woods grow ever denser, ever darker. The trees grow taller and seem to choke away your view of the sky with each passing hour.

The smells begin to shift and alter. Occasionally, you catch widths of a heavy iron smell. Other times, the smell of deep decay, like rotting flesh and meat. It is a continuously changing cavalcade of senses, and the water itself seems to grow murkier and more clouded the further in you go. I need someone to roll the final d20

for this last leg of the journey, to see if it is eventful or not. Bye. 20 for this last leg of the journey to see if it is eventful or not. Five. Five? Roll a d8 for me, please. Oh. Huh, what? Roll a d8 for me. I don't want to.

That's cool, you're going to watch it. Seven. Five. I'm consistent. Okay. On Forge. On Forge. On Forge. You begin to notice, the further in you get

along this way, some of the embankments along the river, occasionally, there's almost like a smoke or something that rises from it. And you, how much time did you spend in the Savalirwood? Uh, maybe almost a month, just under it. How much time did you spend in the Savalirwood? Uh, maybe almost a month, just under it. Okay. You recognize some of these. They're more towards the center of the Savalirwood,

but there are these small cracks in the ground, almost like exposed curse geysers, if you will. They emit dark energy, and the smell itself almost like exposed curse geysers, if you will. They emit dark energy and the smell itself is a mixture of a metallic sulfurous scent. You've just instinctually avoided getting close to any of them. The curiosity was not that strong and something about, especially once you had undergone some, although this would have been before your training

or the early, early days of it. So you have just avoided these out of a necessity to survive, but these exude a miasma that many attribute to be an extension of what caused the initial corruption of these woods. And as soon as that smell begins to come to you again, those memories, those fearful days that you tried to exist traveling through these perpetually extensive woods

when you're on foot, the anxiety begins to creep up the back of your neck. You can warn the rest of the troop here. Right as you're about to open your mouth, one of the nearby embankments, you can see the rock seems to crumble away and one of these geysers sprays this black miasma, like smoke,

across the front of the river and your raft. All of you suddenly are immersed in this black, almost like black, purple, and red fog that seems to just pass you. I need everybody to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, cool, cool, purple, and red fog that seems to pass you. I need everybody to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool. Is this charmed or frightened or anything? It's charmed or frightened.

. This would be a magical effect. Okay. Would this be charmed or frightened? No. Good looking out. He got another natural 20? Natural 20 for a 22. Dang.

Deanna. Nine. Okay. 16. Okay. Hang on, hang on. I want another go. The first one was better. 11.

11, okay. 20. Okay. 22. 22, okay. Fearne and Deanna. Hey, bud. Hey, okay. 20. Okay. 22. 22, okay. Fearne and Deanna. Hey, bud. Hey, baby. The rest of you keep low and try and resist this curse. The two of you see this happen too late,

and it seems to almost stick to you. It feels almost like you're being pulled through a curtain of freezing cold silk that is tugging at your body, and you feel almost like this miasma-like fog is going to pull you back and off the side of the raft. Almost like it's drawing you with the gravity and a pull that is unlike any of the rest of the mist that you pass through.

You catch yourself, and as it pulls through your body, and I mean through, you feel the inside of your rib cage, you feel the inside of your rib cage, you feel the organs of your torso just go ice for a moment as it pulls through. You both take points of exhaustion, so a point each. And your hit points, the maximum hit points are reduced by five. Damn.

Yo. Unforged. Be careful of the my has-been. Shut up. Well, thank you. Thanks, Fjord. So good to know. Oh, my beauties.

It's a little bit late. Oh yeah, I've been faster. Curse my old age. Nandamore, let's make a deal! Wait, how long does it stay? Does your max HP change just until your exhaustion's done? We don't know. We don't know. Forever.

You know I have no HP, right? It's worse. Now you have worse. Yes, it's worse here. Should roll the fire. Am I getting exhausted? Let's hope I don't trip. Make a dexterity saving throw. No. Let's hope I don't trip. Make a dexterity saving throw. No, okay.

Let's go. Sick. As we sail this day, I'm going to be cooking something up in my belly. Okay. Gross. Both of you are now very aware of this miasma. The smell seems to be terrible.

That was weird. That felt awful. Did you feel it in your bones? Yeah, I felt like it was just bouncing around in there. I don't like it. I don't like it. A few more hours beyond that unfortunate encounter, you begin to see something along the canopy that is not tree-like, but like the peak of a tower

and a structure of some kind. Mr. Puckabee? Yes? Dancing up, you can see something that is just like some sort of, just a shadow outline of something that looks rigid and far larger than any of the trees you've seen. It doesn't seem to carry a silhouette that looks natural.

Any kind of a fork in the distance, or it looks like the river just continues? From where you can see, the river's snaking around a bit. You're uncertain. We should stop and investigate. This could help us. I agree. Should we make it to one side of the riverbank?

Tie up? Do you think this could be the... This could be where we're aiming for, right? Could be. Could be a watchtower. It could yield some sort of clue when we actually get to where Molaes Myr was. We should take advantage.

I like the shelter and I like the high ground. All right, we're going to pull up over there? Yeah. Okay. I'll produce my thorn whip and I'll wrap it around the tree. Nice. Okay, so you wrap it around. You all, helping hold onto Fearne

and ford this over onto the side of the bank. Eventually, it hits the side of one of the heavier roots. With everyone's help, you can go ahead and pull the raft up onto the side and drag it. Eventually, it hits the side of one of the heavier roots. With everyone's help, you can go ahead and pull the raft up onto the side and drag it out of the river itself and set it at an angle on the side of the bank. Hey, Deanna, you want to hop on my shoulders?

Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Can I hold them while the hand holds? Can I hop on your shoulders? Sure, yeah. I'm fine, I'm fine. No, you don't have to. No, do it. Do it. I just feel like, I don't know if you can hold me.

Worth a shot. All right, let's see. I've put little BMX pegs on the side of my stuff. Oh, those things are better things, right? Yes! That's sick! How far away is the tower? Same way?

You're not sure. You just saw the shape and you pulled off to the side. So you know the direction it is, but from where you get off the bank, you can't really see where it is. Do you think it'd be, I mean, we could try to fly to it, as opposed to... How far? All of those miles?

I mean, see how many people can I fly? I think we can fly. Yeah, because I can. You can fly people? Yeah, she made me fly when we were looking for you, when you were walking. I mean, I could cast Fly on three people. And then I could turn into a big bird and carry somebody. It would use up my highest level spell.

Sure. That's the only thing. We have no gauge of how far that tower was. You can't see it at the moment. It was just a brief glimpse of it while you were moving along the river. It's far. Hard to tell. Roll a perception check for me.

Oh, I love those. Used to be to gauge the distance. Seven plus 11, so 18. 18? Roll a perception check for me. Oh, I love those. Used to be to gauge the distance. Seven plus 11, so 18. 18? It's probably a mile or two off. Oh, that's not that bad. Yeah, maybe let's try,

especially because it's light right now. Maybe if it starts to get darker, then we can try to fly above, because I don't trust this place. Or if something hops out, it might be a good escape plan. Yeah. Yeah. Good idea.

All right. Okay. All right, here. I cooked these along the way. They're savory muffins made with goat's blood. It's a new recipe that I worked on. I don't know if they're going to be any good. Viking blood bread, that was the thing.

Just give it a real unique. That's good. That's... It's... awful, not awful, but I like it. Okay. It's got a, it's such an interesting little taste. The texture is confusing.

I like it. These are not reviews that I'm used to hearing that are good. No, this is great. I'm having a bad day. So you have a plus four temporary hit points. Oh, thank you. You guys want them, too? Oh, I would.

You know? It's got goat's blood in it. I'll take it. There you go. Thanks. Do you have extra? I think I can make three. Oh, yeah. It's got a little splint to it. That's what it is.

I haven't had this before. I don't need it. It's fine. Oh, I can make four. So there is an extra one for you. You really should get down on this. You've never had organs before. You're missing out. Look me in the eye. This one's got a little sinew.

Great. Oh, it's the texture. No, don't look away. You have to look at me. Mm-hmm. From your head, you hear, Drank you. A little prosciutto muffin. Because they're real happy. You're welcome!

How about even telepathically, you can hear her mouth is full. That's important. Huh? You know? I mean, I'm not hungry. I don't know. I don't know what that is, really. Well, sometimes when I see Deanna eat, it feels good to eat, too. What, do you just pop a coin or something?

No, I have rubies. I'll pull out, well, this is a crude-looking sapphire. And I'll hand you one. Well, I don't want to take your whole sapphire. No, I don't know if you should eat these. This is horrible. There's so much magic I could do. No, I'm not.

So you're all, all, break it in half and give you half. It tastes great. Mm-hmm. I'm good. Does it worth it? I'm good. Salty. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Does that miasma that hit Fearne and myself, does that feel like a magical effect? It was magical in nature, I guess. Yeah, fuck it, I'll burn the slot. Can I attempt a Dispel Magic on Fearne? Just to see if that goes away. Does it work? I spend it.

It does not seem to have an effect, unfortunately. This, while magical effect, sits more in the realm of a curse. Damn it. Shit, I got to wake. I'll fix it. Okay, well, thank you for trying, though. Sorry. It's okay, it's okay.

We didn't know. Nobody warned us that there was miasma that would be shooting out at us. We never would have known. Someone that was like, oh, I'm the fucking Wolf King, could maybe mention the weird ass geysers. You know, it's fine. Hey Chet, did you roll your d100 today?

Are you dead, did you die today? Huh? Did you die today? Of old age? God, the settings here are just so tranquil. Oh, I didn't roll it. What if he did die? What if he died? 41.

Oh, shit. I got so nervous. Like, holy Jesus. What if we tell an old man to die? Birch kills Taliesin. You're coming here. Are we flying? Did we say we're flying?

I think we just came up. No, we're walking because it's only a mile and a half. Okay, great. Let's go. All right, who's guiding the path through the Savalir Wood? All right, someone. My expertise. And you. All right, roll survival, please.

It's a survival check. Guidance. You have a survival check. I gave him everything. Okay. Guidance, does that kiss you on the back of the head? Yep, guidance is allowed. So I have advantage? You have advantage on this as a survival check.

Plus a d4. Since you didn't notice it earlier, you are the best person to know the direction you're possibly traveling. I don't know if that's true. 10 plus three, 13. 13, okay. It takes you a little bit.

You get lost at one point, but you do eventually circle back. The woods here grow so dense that it places you following a path you think, and then the path just closes. And it's like the trees have closed it off, like the end of a maze. Like, that's not good.

And you back away, and you swear you can hear the wood creaking, like it's shifting, almost like the wood itself is trying to move, to close off your paths as you maneuver through. You step into some soft embankments of rotting vegetation and the heavy base of some of these trees.

As you do, you feel like it gives way and you plumb up to your knee and have to pull yourself free, afraid that something beneath the surface is trying to eat at your foot. The nerves and anxiety begin to build through you, and for a moment, you feel like you've lost your way. The dark purple and reds of this central part

of the Savalirwood giving an alien and unwelcome sensation the deeper and deeper in you move. It's here in the heart of this corrupted forest that you eventually get a glimpse once more of that massive tower. And it looks like it probably stands now with a better point of perspective, 10 or so stories up.

What? Wow. This is so stupid. One. And as you begin to look, there are other towers, though not all at proper angles. I said it took a little longer than it should have, I'm sorry, but I think we're... We don't have a frame of reference, so you did great. Yeah, it was.

It's really confusing in here. Yeah, it's not good here. Are there windows on the tower? You don't quite see at this distance. There's not quite enough light from where you are. It's almost like it's backlit, so you can't make a too much of the details against the sky.

So the towers are slanted like they've They're like these long, thin, needle-like towers like they've slightly shifted to one side and are at a leaning angle. Leaning towers. They're all leaning one way, or are they leaning into each other? They're leaning at different angles,

almost like the ground itself has begun to sink or shift over time. We were looking for the Guild Hollow Tower? The Guild Hollow Tower. And that was described to us as one tower? One tower on the northwestern side of the city. Well, let's head there. Okay.

If this is the city. I mean, there's head there. If this is the city. I mean, there's towers. Yes, what a beauty. Does any of this look familiar to you, Mr. Buckley? No, no, I did not come through here. This is all new. Having been in parts of the Empire, does the architecture or structure mimic any other towers

in well-known places in Wildemount? You probably have to get a bit closer to get a better look, but from what you can immediately tell, it doesn't look Dondalian. Okay. As you push a little closer to the ominous site, you begin to see the remnants of walls,

now deeply overgrown and mostly reclaimed by the surrounding wood. Massive, tangled bramble-like vines, some three to five feet thick, that wrap onto each other and over the top of these walls that now crack and crumble by the slow-pulling weight of the vegetation, reclaiming it to the corrupted earth below.

You can see breaks in these walls between the trees that could be clambered over, and beyond that, numerous other structures amongst the purple and red vegetation. The deep-sunken bits of gray themselves almost giving a dotted pepper look to the surrounding wood. You look beyond this tangle

and can see the mason work and craft now notably distinctly elven, though deeply retaken by this wood. You can see delicate carvings and organic shapes that are being swallowed by the imposing gloom and thorn of the Savalirwood. You see brambles and continued vine stretch that's now consuming homesteads and walkways.

You can see where paths and thoroughfares and alleys once swam through the city, but the ground has shifted and hills seem to push up. Cracks have emerged where you see that miasma slowly drifts out of it. And what looks to be rubble and all sorts of odd vegetation and fungus has propped up in different places.

That's the best you can see from these outskirts. vegetation and fungus has propped up in different places. That's the best you can see from these outskirts, except for maybe textures like clusters of webs that seem to have taken parts of this ruin. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Almost like abandoned nests that seem to be situated up at the tops of some of these trees and some of the upper parts of these exposed buildings and smaller towers where parts of Crumpleton have fallen in

and you can see where they've been cracked open and left there. You hear the sound of something heavy hitting something else heavy, almost like hard wood hitting hard wood. The scraping sound. Uncertain where specifically it's coming from, but deeper within the ruin. Where the sun is, can we tell northwest, east, south?

You can make a survival check. Who wants to make a survival check? I can do it. Oh, okay, you can do it. I know. Guidance! Okay, I'll guidance. I just okay, you can do it. I can do it. Guidance. Okay, I'll Guidance. I just like yelling it now. Okay. Did you roll that with disadvantage?

Because we're both tired. Yep. Oh, shit. Sorry. Oh, okay, that's okay. 23. Oh, great. 23. 23? Incredible.

Disadvantage. Glancing up from what you can see of the sky, the current time of day, the position of the sunlight. Right. The wind. Shh. You are encroaching from what you expect to be the eastern side of the city ruin.

Like the eastern, a little bit to the northeast side of it. And we're aiming for the northwest? It was what you were told, yes. From what we can see, does it look like we're sort of, is there a central road? There are many roads, and there is a central main road that seems to carve through the ruin. You can see this part of it,

but you're uncertain how wide this ruin is and how sprawling it is. It is a massive city, and you're only seeing a section of it right now. It's been overtaking the last of us on crack. Yeah. I think we can, I think if we move through it centrally,

we will be sitting ducks, shooting fish in a barrel. But we might be able to draw whatever could be out there and get a sense of where it is somehow. Well. Let me see. You know we have to go west? I could, I could summon one of those red creatures. And I could send it up to 180 feet from us.

Will that hurt you? I mean, no. Okay. And it'll do whatever you say? It's an ally. Will it do whatever you say? It's an ally. It takes its turn, Amelia. It obeys my verbal commands. Yeah. Send out a decoy. Yeah.

Send out a decoy. Right. Send it right through the middle of this thing. I think I'll find the tallest structure around and just follow it and track it, and then see if there's any movement, see where it's coming from. Would it be a fence? Okay.

The tallest structure you see is the one that caught your attention. It is a massive central tower that sits in the middle of the city. Oh no, I mean like a tree or something, just so I can be up higher and get a, is there any trees around? Oh yeah, is there any trees?

There are so many trees. There's like two trees. Oh yeah, I'll find the tallest tree near us, and as it goes out, when she sends it, I'll just track it. You clamber up the tree a bit. Quiet as you are, as soon as you get to a certain branch, suddenly about two dozen black birds just scatter out of the tree.

Off into the sky. It spooks you for a second, but you think you're okay. We should hide, just in case. Let's go make a group stealth check for me, please. Oh no! Oh boy. Buh. Buh. I'm invisible.

Pass without a trace. Are you doing it? Yeah, you can do that. Yes. Oh, thank you. All right, all right. Pass without a trace is cast doing it? Yeah, you can do that. Yes. All right, pass without a trace is cast. So as long as you stay near Fearne. Natural 20. Nice. Ooh!

All righty. Houston. So what's the total of that? That would be a 32. 32. Damn. 35. 35. Fearne? 29.

29. 20. 20. 16. 29. 20. 20. 16. 16. 29. 29. I had this in me. You all hide amongst the trees and the shadows on the outskirts of the broken part of the wall

where you can see over it a bit. There isn't a straight shot through. You can see a four-foot-high area where you can glance and see part of the city from beyond there. You all hide amongst the trees. As you get close to the tree, at times you almost feel like the branches

are reaching for your shoulders and you shrug it off, but it must be your mind playing tricks on you. You climb up there and keep an eye out. And what are you doing? Am I still on your back? I'm going to use a sorcery point to double my distance. All right, so you're up there with Frida.

So I'm doubling my distance, that this music is creeping me out, and I'm going to summon a thought eater, crimson shade, 180 feet from me, and send a thought into its head. I'm going to change the lights here, since we're close to the center of the city. Let's go ahead and have a better creepy visual Send a thought into its head. I'm going to change the lights here, since we're close to the center of the city,

let's go ahead and have a better creepy visual for the center of the ruins of Molaesmyr. They didn't know of us. I'm just going to hover behind Imogen, just grabbing distance. Hover. Hover. I don't need to stick up on Granger. Oh, that's creepy.

Aw, this is so dope! Ooh, and they're moving. I don't like that they move. It's scary here. Props, props, dude, props. Incredible. Fy'ra. In its head, I'm just going to communicate

telepathically with it. So you summon a crimson shade. Yeah, 180 feet from me. The rest of you watch as, in the center of this partially open walkway that is covered in rubble of stone and twisted vines that wind and sew their way through the city.

It's not got this, it's rude as shit, so I'm not sure about that. This little bead of red light appears, like a tiny little orb of red that glows and drifts there in space before it suddenly opens up into a circular gateway. And then as it closes immediately, you see a humanoid figure drifting there,

partially ephemeral, partially physical, like of red energy. It looks humanoid, its legs drifting into a mist towards where the knees go below. Long arms, long fingers that lead into like claws. The body looks humanoid, though the shoulders themselves are broader and almost come to a point. The neck is long, and where the head is, it's almost stretched. Along to the back, you do not see any features. There's just this pale glow where the eyes would be, and it appears and drifts there.

You communicate to it. Make your way north through the city. I don't know where. Is there a range on the radius to you? No, I summon it within 90 feet, and then I think it. Yep, then it can follow its instructions. It drifts off, floating through the city.

You can see the low fog that sits across the entirety of the streets. It drifts through. You hear the That scraping sound just continues on. It doesn't make any noise as it moves. Ugh. Can I tell it to make noise?

If you want to. Make some noise. You hear this high-pitched whine. This It's a streaking sound, almost like it emits a call that echoes. What? It's a lot of noise. Yeah. That's good.

Just one little burst of it, and it says they're still gliding. These heavy cavalcade of clacking sounds begin to get louder and louder, and you watch from charging out of one of the nearby alleyways off to the side from where you didn't even see, some massive form just comes charging through and slams into the creature you summoned.

It looks like some sort of a massive elk being, but its horns at the front of its head are far more extended and separating, almost like a capillary network of horns that spreads up and sprouts from its head that tangle and knot. It slams them into this creature. What is its AC?

11 plus the level of the spell, so that would be 15. 15, okay, so that hits. Does the elk-like creature have a neck? It does. I'll get more detail here in a minute. You just see it move rapidly. Calm that motherfucker down so easy. Takes 42 points of piercing damage

and charge damage. Is it round anymore? No, it instantly is out. It had 40 hit points. Oh god. It was the horns plus the charge. and charge damage. Is it round anymore? No, it instantly is out. It had 40 hit points. Oh god. It was the horns plus the charge. But we saw it, right?

At least we could see what it was. It slams and you hear this sound that echoes through. You now see it is a massive elk-like beast, probably standing from ground to shoulders about 10 feet tall. Damn! It's nodded at horns, standing outward, and as it gives out its war cry

at the destruction of this entity that it struck, it shifts and turns, and you see it is featureless. Its face is smooth, aside from its protracted snout. What if it's one of the defenders, like? Does it look like Umidora? You also now notice that it has about, what'd you guess, eight, nine, 10 elk legs? That's true. 10?

Oh, it's like a spider elk? Almost like a spider elk, as it curls forward, and two other thick limbs that drag behind it. What do you mean drag behind it? Two large limbs that protrude from the shoulders that drag on the drag behind it. What do you mean? What do you mean drag behind it? Two large limbs that protrude from the star of its shoulders that drag on the ground behind it.

Damn! Starry does not roll like this. They are not rolling. Ew! What, what? You see, like, and the horns shift around, and you see weird scattering of glints across the end of the horns.

Based on what we saw, is it, because it doesn't have eyes or mouth or nose. It's featureless. Oh god. But it responded to the sound and hit it dead on? Mm-hmm. You watch as it clatters out a little bit more. It begins to walk further into the city. You can see the limbs that it's dragging behind. One

and it's this massive human-like arm that grabs one of the nearby ruins. Shut up, absolutely not! Another one. What do you mean? It begins to pull its way through some of the alleyways of the building, using these massive, elongated, stretched humanoid arms to lift it forward as they drag behind it.

Oh my god. Yeah. 10 layers, and it's like. Hey, Frida, show me your gun real quick. Sablear does some fucked up shit to creatures. Did you roll for this thing? That's fucking... Unarm now! Holy weapon.

Dude, I mean, maybe we should fly above it. I think it reacts to sound, so if we can distract it and send it in a different direction, maybe we can just... It's now wandering deeper into the city. It's not coming towards you. It was drawn towards that creature.

The creature's destroyed now. It just seems like it's back to... Flying's pretty good. As long as we're absolutely silent. You can get past that trace. Oh, wow, okay. Thank you. Yeah, but if somebody rolls shitty, that's...

You're done. If somebody rolls shitty, then we instantly fly up. Yeah, let's do that. What if we all get in the trees? It can't fly, right? Yeah, but we also can't Yeah. What if we all get in trees? It can't fly, right? Yeah, but we also can't walk over it if we all get in. I mean, it could probably bash a tree and knock it down really easy.

Does it look like it's the- And I think it could climb a tree. Did you see those fucking arms? Oh, it would climb a tower, no problem. Does it look like that's the only one of its kind around with all the commotion it made with its calls? It's the only thing that appeared and reacted to the sound in the moment.

Jesus. Reacted to the sound. This doesn't look like a wolf king to me. I can give us the ability to, well, you can also do this on a one-on-one, but I can make us all able to talk to each other telepathically. Can you do that also? I can. Oh, well, fuck.

But no, you should do it because if I'm using my- We have a lot of crossover in abilities, it's okay. If I'm using my face levels fly, then I wouldn't be able to do that. Give us throat mics, man, that, fuck. But no, you should do it because if I'm using my If I'm using my first levels fly, then I wouldn't be able to do that. Give us throat mics, man, that's awesome. Let's do it. Okay. I'll cast Telepathic Bond on all of us. So you can all silently talk amongst yourselves.

But before you talk, you have to go. Yep. 100%. Roger, roger. We're moving towards the tower. Copy that. This is stupid. I like it.

Can we have code names? Over. Ooh! Rose Goldout. What's your code name? Rose Gold. Rose Goldout. Of course it is. Yeah, that's really cool.

So what's the plan? What is the plan? We're just going to go stealth. We're going to fly, right? No, no, we're going to go stealth as far as we can, but if we get made, then we go. If we make some noise, then we shoot up. Okay, cool.

So you have to go turn into a bird. You have to turn into a big bird, and I have to cast Fly on a few of them. I'll turn into a big bird and then. Pick up. We should know immediately. Who am I grabbing? Yeah. Me.

Me. Yeah, you should grab the little ones so that you can, and I'll cast Fly on the three of us. That sounds good. Do we still have your stealth? No. Yeah. What? I couldn't hear you. Yes, I had to say it.

I couldn't hear you. Yes. No. Yeah. What? I couldn't hear you. I couldn't hear you. Chh, chh. Yes. Okay. Sorry. How long does Pestle of Trace last? About an hour? 10 minutes? You got to do it, too. I'm sorry, we can't.

I think so, I think so. You can't hear me. Give me two seconds. Chh, how long does Pestle of Trace last? There we go, now I know. Who else is on the line? It is... This frequency's been compromised.

Yeah, up to an hour. An hour, okay, so you have one hour of this. Do we have to stay within 30 feet of Fearne, though? Yes, you have to stay very close to Fearne to do this. Okay, let's go. Just follow his ass. All right. Now that you're emerging from your hiding spots,

I need a group stealth check to begin to enter the ruins of Malleus Myr. Oh my god. Scene Oracle. Oh my god, dude, we're here. This shit is famous. Bad thing, though? He's abandoned, right?

Ooh, I got nervous. Yes, for you. All right, Midget. 20. 20, all righty. Frida. 26. 26?

We still get the plus 10, right? Yes. Okay, okay. 16. 16, okay. 16. 26? We still get the plus 10, right? Yes. Okay, okay. 16. 16, okay. 16. 26? 32. Okay. 32, okay.

That's fine. So picking up the stack where you can, you all stay close together and begin to clamber over that one lowered gap in the wall. One by one, you help each other over and you can see the mist rolling out. The cold is too cold for midday, and you can still hear the distant

clack beginning to fade of whatever entity you just saw. Occasionally, you hear other birds fly overhead and the distant caw of some sort of creature. Bird. It's chilly. Moving through this ghost city, you can see the multitudes of beautiful buildings and domed structures and elven homesteads

that were built into the sides of trees that protrude from the center of the city. Some of them fallen and crumbled, others reconsumed by the trees that they were built upon, only elements of them protruding from their bark-covered cocoons. You can see those bits of web and elements of residue left by creatures that once called this home

or might still elsewhere. Most of the streets themselves are heavily broken in places from roots that have grown in from the ground and broken through and shattered the bits of stone and fine polished marble that once marked the central walkways. You can see there are cables that were hung and strung

from different buildings where flags once hung for celebrations that now have become clusters of long, broken egg sacks that hang with shredded bits of hanging material. Didn't have to be yucky. You also swear, occasionally, in the nearby mist in the distance, you see someone walking through the fog

and you glance and there's nobody there. Creepy. Did you all see that? I did. Okay. I didn't see anything, but it feels fucked in here. Over. Do I get a feeling of undead?

Shh. You get the sense that many ghosts walk this place. Fuck. Hey, buddy, you got to be more specific. Remember the last time we got sprayed with bullshit? Just so you know, I get a feeling of undead entities in the space.

Oh, I'm not worried about that. I'm a fucking cleric. Everybody, back on your feet. I got sucked into the ground last time. You got sucked into the ground? When I was dragging, I got pushed in, so just watch your step. You know, okay, here's the thing, though.

We can only hear each other in each other's heads, so we don't have to whisper. She's right. Just watch your step, everybody. in each other's heads, so we don't have to whisper. Shh. She's right. Shh. Shh. Shh. Just watch your step, everybody. Shh. The air of the city.

This is the ruins of Molaesmar? Yeah. I think you said it is the city. Yeah, we did, yeah. Okay, okay. The further you step through it, the larger these ruins are. And there is no other city of Yeah, we did, yeah. Okay, okay. We made it. The further you step through it, the larger these ruins are. There is no other city of this size and scope, nor of this historical tragedy

that could mirror what you see before you, other than likely the ruins of Molaesmyr. The air itself smells of humid compost and hard water. Every few steps, another scattering of birds darts off. The moody, obscured sky above begins to open up underneath some elements where the canopy has given way to the occasional needle-like towers that pierces through or living structures that just slightly push

against the canopy, though many of them, trees have grown into and through over time. Some may have been built upon them, others just taken. You also see amongst these sometimes thick and winding bramble clusters and heavy vines with large spikes and thorns that protrude from them. Bones. Bodies.

Many, many ancient bodies lay tangled, buried, or held aloft, woven into the slowly growing vegetation and vine. The remnants of the fleeing families that were unable to escape the expanding miasma and curse of this wood, now adorning the sides of the trees and growing vegetation like a nightmarish Christmas tree.

As you plunge deeper into just these mild outskirts of the ruins, uncertain of what lies before you, we're going to go ahead and call our episode for tonight. No! No! You just gave us a nightmarish Christmas tree! Why? Because we're almost at the four hour mark, and... I know, but we have to see,

we have to get to there. And we will next time, because I have to catch a flight to go support my wife getting in a fight. Me too, me too, me too! Which, as you know, has already happened. It's going to be great. So we'll pick up here as you step into

the Ruins of Molaes Myr and see what you find there. Next time, thank you all for joining us. We're here to ruin Molaes Myr! Thank you! You! Dang it. Dang it. Thank you all so much for joining us

and is it Thursday yet? Yeah! Yeah! Oh hey! Ashley Johnson here and I sure do hope you're enjoying the adventure. Remember when you first found out about Critical Role? Was it through a friend or a family

member or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast? Many listeners Thank you for joining us on this adventure and until next time let us try to leave the world a little better than we found it