Critical Role - C3E73 Kindling the Spirits

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

Bells Hells continue their journey through the fog-shrouded ocean of the Shattered Teeth with the skeletal crew of the Crimson Abyss, where surprising requests lead to surprising results... Twitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and 4-Sided Dive. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & Google Podcasts following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges and the ability to post links in Twitch chat! "It's Thursday Night (Critical Role Theme Song)" by Peter Habib and Sam RiegelOriginal Music by Omar Fadel and Hexany Audio"Welcome to Marquet" Art Theme by Colm McGuinnessAdditional Music by Universal Production Music, Epidemic Sounds, and 5 AlarmCharacter Art by Hannah Friederichs Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources

Hi there. This is Taliesin Jaffe, and welcome to the podcast version of The Critical Role Show. If you would like to watch the stream as it airs, you can tune in on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific at twitch.tv slash critical role or at youtube.com slash critical role. The video on demand versions are immediately available for our Twitch subscribers or on YouTube the following Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific. Podcast episodes are right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays one week after the initial broadcast. Now that you know all that, let's head into today's adventure. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Before we jump into our session for this evening, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor, which is Dragonair Silent Gods. Sam?

Dragonair Silent Gods is a new game that incorporates elements from tabletop classics like D&D featuring dice rolls, character creations, thank you, and thrilling dungeon duels. It's available now on PC, Mac, Epic, and mobile platforms with future plans to launch on Steam so everyone can start rolling in the Dragonair world. Do I have something on? No, you're good, you're good.

No, you're good now. It was like Styrofoam, it was weird. Oh, that tracks. Now, last time they sponsored the show, Matt and I had to audition to see who had the better voice to play the role of Sagamir, a character in the game. It was close. Matt barely squeaked out a victory, and to reward him, the folks from Dragonair sent him this fantastic custom-made Sagamir helmet. Matt, don thy helmet!

It's so tall! It's so tall! It's so tall. I think I'm a horse girl now. Where's the last bit? Now, Matt! Give us! You're cute! That's amazing!

Give us a little taste of Sagamere! The holiday decorations come out earlier and earlier. Dragoneer, suddenly, God says, a vast high fantasy world beckoning you to explore. Embark on a quest to uncover the secrets of Edenthea with companions by your side. Okay, good, that was fine.

That was fine. But let me add, the devs were so taken by my audition that they also custom made me an even bigger helmet. Oh. I'm on your vote! No, you're going here. Oh, oh god. Ah!

You hit it! Did I? Am I okay? Oh, we'll fix it. It's okay. No, wait, wait, wait, wait. They custom made you that? Yeah, I believe so. That large, ill-fitting helmet, did they even ask for your head measurements? I mean, they can approximate from photographs, I think.

You made that helmet yourself, didn't you, Sam? Oh, what? No. Why would I do that? Tell the truth, dammit. Fine, all right, I made it. I made the helmet. I should explore a sandbox open-world game filled with love, revenge, mystery, and bloodshed. I should be Sagamir! But you're not Sagamir. What are you really? I'm Sagamir!

You need to let this go. What are you? I'm Sagamir! What are you? Sagamir! What are you, Regal? I'm nobody! I'm nobody! I'm nobody, Matt! You're not nobody, Sam. You're a damn fine voice actor. One of the best. Top ten? Top 80, at least. But look, you didn't get this job. And it's not because I'm better than you, probably. Maybe it's because you're too good for this role. I really think so.

I bet this helmet on it. You're right. I am good. Dragonair! Silent Gods! To start rolling in the Dragonair world, head over to bit.ly slash Dragonair underscore Critical Role. I had no idea how to end the bit. Use promo code Critical Role to redeem limited edition gift packs in the game. It is I, Sagamir, saying... No, I'm Sagamir.

All right, Matt, back to you. All righty. Wow. They're so cute. I love a pit that doesn't overstay its well-resence. I'm your little horse boy. You're going to hurt somebody with that one. All right. Marisha.

Oh god. Next pit's you. This is dangerous. All right. Marisha! I'm stuck to the front. Next bit's you! This is dangerous. I'm just going to hear a. I know! Oh my god. You've got to get the hair off of it.

It's going to gross me out the whole game. It's like seven. We're going to have to stop down and readjust. It's fine. All right. Guys! Yes! Join us for episode two of Candela Obscura! Candela Obscura! The Circle of Needle and Thread, next Thursday. The face of these investigators are only becoming more entwined, and the stakes are rising to otherworldly heights. It all starts at 7 p.m. Pacific

on Twitch and YouTube. Shit's getting really good. Shit's getting real. Yeah, it's good shit. We've got a live show in London coming up! Yeah! Woo-hoo! The Mighty Nein reunion, Echoes of the Solstice, on October 25th. While we have sold out of arena tickets, we're excited to announce that we'll be bringing the live event to theaters! We're going to roll with it the very next day, on Thursday, October 26th at 7pm local time. Sure will be!

Yes. Now you'll be able to enjoy the live show energy together on the big screen and join the Mighty Nein as they deal with the effects of the Apogee Solstice. U.S. Critters can find tickets on sale now in select movie theaters nationwide at cinemark. U.S. Critters can find tickets on sale now in select movie theaters nationwide at cinemark.com, and if you're in Canada, you can find us at your local Cineplex theater. Head on over to cineplex.com to buy tickets and get all the details.

Otherwise, you'll still be able to watch the live show on our Twitch and YouTube channels on October 26th at 7 p.m. Pacific. Nice. Smash. Pow! Ha! All righty. Laura, you're up next. Yes! We have some.

I'm excited. God, I suck at this! Wow! Dun dun dun dun dun dun! We have a bunch of clothes. That's slick! That's actually cool. Have you ever wanted to show how big of a fan you are for CR, but not really show?

Yes. So many show, this is the article of clothing to wear. You can pair it with these retro joggers. If you guys have our other joggers that are so cozy-cos, these are the same material as our cozy-cos. Oh, it is? Yeah. They're comfy as- Oh my god. I'm going to wear nothing else. I got stripes! Yes, you can hug your whole body in CR. I love you, licking the store.

Did you say you love them licking the store? Or I love you licking the store. I love you licking the store. That sounds about right. You're pretty much just licking your own mouth, but. I'm stopping. Liam, you got something to talk about? Yes, I do. I have a whole buttload of exciting news from Dark Horse. Man, we have a lot of

graphic novel news. The final two installments of our Mighty Nein Origins series have been announced. Beauregard Lionet and Caduceus Clay are getting their graphic novels next year. Matt and Marisha join writer May Catt to unveil Beau's backstory with art by Guillermi Balbi, colors by Diana Sosa, and letters by Ariana Mar, with Balbi and Sosa illustrating the cover. And that guy Matt and Taliesin join Kendra Wells in writing the origin story of Caduceus with art by Selina Espiritu, colors by Erin Angelini, letters by Ariana Mar, and with cover art by Gus Allen and Angelini. Plus, starting in January 2024, get ready for the Tales of Exandria II, Artagan! The four-issue arc is gonna unveil a new story focused on Archfey Artagan, that fucker,

AKA the Traveler. The coolest guy in the entire Exandrian universe. He's pretty good. You know I love him. Written by Sam Maggs, illustrated by Aviv Orr, colored by Chris Peter, and lettered by Ariana Mar. The first issue will also feature a cover by Toby Sharp. That is a lot of books! We make a lot of comic books!

They're so good! They're so good! It's pretty critical. Read them. And I believe with that, that finishes our announcements. So, as Sagamir would say. Oh! So as Sagamere would say. Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. Critical. Critical. It's Thursday night.

One by one we climb until we reach the top Two by two we fall Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? Hold your breath and roll How do you want to do this? It's Thursday night All ye critters come join us It's time to continue our plight

There is magic and mystery, who knows what will happen, he might But one thing's for sure, we never give up on the fight From the healer to the renegade We all share the same goal Adding more allies, taking more chances Hold your breath and roll You can certainly try It's Thursday night

All ye critters come join us It's time to continue our fight There is magic and mystery from darkness, our friendship will rise But one thing's for sure, we never give up on the fight Oh, get ready, it's Thursday night! And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bell's Hells had been on a bender of gathering information about what they could possibly bring to bear against Ludinus D'leth, the Ruy Vanguard and the dangers that may be besetting the Red Moon Ruitous above. You uncovered a strange damaged contraption that seems

to be tied to the history and the longevity and innate power of Ludinus. Upon acquiring a few friendly tinkerers, some you saved as well, set that device on the path to being repaired and possibly bent to your use. Along this journey also, Ashton discovered a little bit about his essence, his past, the Hissari people of which he was once with, and one of the sole survivors of, and what seems to be the essence

of one of the ancient, long-destroyed Pomordial Titans that is buried and entwined with his physical essence, a possible dormant power that lies within. Upon seeking any sort of interesting information on this, you gathered that one entity of Entrevier, the great tree of atrophy that exists in the Shattered Teeth, was responsible for passing the shard of power

that created this incident of the Hishari onto the leader of that cult. And with that lead, you made your way to the Shattered Teeth, made friends with an older tortoise woman who had helped Keela through her grief many years ago, who led you on the path to the island of Calutha. You decided the best route to get there

involved summoning a ghost ship and parlaying with its captain. After a seemingly unbeatable continuation of undead ghost skeletons assaulting you, however, you sent them fleeing and made a deal with the Captain Novos that included giving over to him the intelligent legendary weapon that you had been keeping at your side.

This deal was accepted and as such, brought you passage across the seas to the island of your destination, where you currently now sit upon the oddly creaking ghost ship that floats, billowing out mist and fog across the waves, heading in a southeastern direction for the next two to three days. And it is on this journey that you can make your fortune.

Is there anything you wish to do while you are riding along on this journey? Is there anyone we need to... while you are riding along on this journey. Oh my god. Is there anyone we need to? Wow. Okay. How did Critical Role end? Do you see this? Do you see this? I missed the unveiling.

Jesus Christ. Is there a fight? I missed the unveiling. Jesus Christ. Such a basic Starbucks order. I know, it's a very normal order. So basic. I'm just glad I'm not in the crosshairs today. Is there anyone we need to communicate with? Interranged. For the podcast audience, Sam is wearing a shirt that has a screen capture from our company,

Slack, and Marisha that says, flat white with vanilla, please. I fucking... I feel the shirt. It won't stop. I don't know why it won't stop. His shirt matches your nails. You have really pretty nails. Is there anyone we need to try to cast Sending? Does Sending work? No. It just doesn't work. It just doesn't work.

How long have we been dealing with this now? Every time I try it, we get brain damage. All right. Scry? Do we need to scry on anyone? Oh yeah, that's the one I meant. I feel like that's what you meant. That is what I meant. Is there anyone we need to scry on?

It is odd that we can scry on people from far away, but we can't do sending. Why is that? I don't know what these... I don't know. Weird. What's with that? Are you going to do stand-up for Tia Bay? You know what's weird.

What the fuck is up with that? What is the deal with sending? We could do some scrying. I could scry on some bad guys. I could scry on, you can scry, too. I could scry on Dee again. Wait, you can't scry? I can't scry. Why did I think you could scry?

I don't know, you can scry, though. I can scry. Oh. I thought she could as well. I can scry! I. I can scry. Oh. I thought she could as well. I can scry! I believe I can scry. What about those two from Wildemount? Who, the what? The two that got captured?

The hot one and the red head. Oh, we... What's the other one? I didn't see them, I don't think I could. I saw them. I saw them. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Did you see them? You saw them. I don't know if I did. can. I saw them. I saw them. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Did you see them? You saw them. I don't know if I did. No, you saw them. They were being made a mockery of. Oh, that's right, that's right. I did see them from afar. Why don't we simul-scry? You can do the hot one and I'll do the...

You're going to simulcast? The dirt wizard. Oh yeah? I don't know. I don't know, what do we think? He's really clean to me. No, no. My optics are too in tuned to the...

My passive perception is 31. I got a really good look at him. Okay. I can't smell and I smelled him. Yeah. We've got Dee, we've got Otohan. We can simulscry on those two Wildemount folks. All right.

Want to do that first? Yeah. What do I do? If it's somebody I don't know. Wait, you never saw? You saw him, yeah. No, I saw her, but that's all it takes. I forget. I think so.

I've only done this a couple times. Yeah, she looks like this, and I'll use Minor Illusion to make her face. But she's like this. She had more abs. Jeepers creepers, okay. 24 pack. Yeah, it was a lot.

Yeah, it was a lot. Now she's got 24 abs. Just shredded. It just looks like a terrible hernia. Yeah. That's probably fair. She doesn't have long. We have to reach out.

Oh no, my d20's gone. Your d20 is gone? Yep. I have some. I have two. I have two, but the one that I use is gone, so I'll just use this one, I don't care. Nope.

What's it look like? It's a special one. It's a d20. Is that the good old guild eye in your hand? Don't show it, don't show it! Sneak peek? It's a sneak peek. This is not for me.

It's not for sale yet! Put it! Jesus, I should not have given that to you. Enhance. I am wondering what you were thinking. We'll just put a black bar over it. Yeah. Censor everything we roll.

Shut it down! Censor every time you roll. Shut up! We will never start tonight's session. Nope, nope, nope. Okay, okay. What are we rolling for? Come on! Simulscrot! I'm going, I'm just rolling something. Natural 20.

Hey! Wait, we're doing it at the same time? Yeah, silo scrap. Like the same circle? You've got to get a 20. Don't fuck it up. Well, okay. Get a 20. You can do it. Don't pick one of those little things. Yeah, no teeth.

Get a real one. That was a crazy roll. I feel like it doesn't count when it's even count. Wait, what am I? I'm sorry, I'm happy you. That's okay, that's okay. Hang on one second. What is she adding? Nothing, you don't roll for strength.

Yeah, I don't think we roll. They do. Eight years! Eight years! Who? Eight years! I thought the walk was in some sort of heaven. Oh my god.

You just let us hang ourselves. Okay. That was for me. We're just doing it. All right, so you both take a little bit of time to prepare your scry spells. You are focusing on the wizard fellow. The wizard man. And you are focusing on the badass fighter.

Great. Both of your scry spells are immediately canceled and sent back to you, and it seems like there's some sort of magical barrier that makes them impenetrable to distant seeing. That makes them. We've done scrying on other things, and it's just them that they're blocked.

It's because he's such a powerful wizard. They have him blocked off. Wizard shit. Is that how that works? I do, I do. Well, they block. Ludinus, we can't scry on him. We've tried it before and it didn't work,

so maybe he's got his same spells on them still. Oh yeah, all right. This whole thing is baffling. What about D? I can do D. Okay. You want to try for D? Sure, let's do it. I can do the D.

That's true. What's the spell DC? 15. 15, okay. Using the same circle that you drew to represent the initial scry ritual, you reuse most of the setup, scribing in the few elements of the circle that were destroyed and burned in the initial ritual. As you connect these arcane lines, if you will,

you close your eyes and focus, and your vision pulls out through the mist, and you feel like you're being plucked and pulled through an endless series of clouds, just this fog that continues to billow in front of you until eventually it separates. As it does, you see the outskirts of some sort of a coastal city.

You see beautiful, polished cobblestone streets. You see all manner of people walking around, enjoying the warm sunlight that comes from a bright blue sky You see all manner of people walking around, enjoying the warm sunlight that comes from a bright blue sky with a handful of dappled clouds. And you see the cart that's creaking over one sort of a large hillside on the upper portion of the city. And you see the cloaked figure that you,

believed to be Dee, walking alongside it as some sort of a three-legged automaton pulls the cart forward slowly, step by step. And do I get a sense of where in the world this man, this person, this robot is? Still somewhere along the coast that you previously saw, so Menagerie Coast is likely. You have not necessarily traveled, I believe, to-

Distinguishing features, cliffs that are very specific, or towers, or- It's tough, because the scry spell itself only really focuses within a short radius of the target. Go ahead and roll a perception check for me. You can do this, guys. I don't know, can you guide me? No.

Natural 20. Yeah, can I use the natural 20 from before? How about a one from this time? Somewhere nice. Somewhere very, very nice, you're sure. Don't look at me like you blame me for that, because I gave you that dice. This is you.

You don't care about that kind of stuff? What kind of stuff? Don't buy this. No! You're not worthy. Lost privileges. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That didn't work.

I'm sorry. But, you know, we know generally where they are. Anyone else you all want me to scry on I'm sorry, but we know generally where they are. Anyone else you all want me to scry on before we call it a day? I guess we got some sailing to do, so. Hey, letters. Letters. Weird question.

That woman who's in my head that you saw, Delilah. D? Another D. Uh-huh. What happens if you scry on her? Ooh! Have you tried? I am suddenly very invested in this. Ooh, ooh, butter, let's do it.

I don't know. I don't think so. Your head's going to explode. That'd be awesome. I can try. Well, you can try. Guidance. Oh, well, I do. I already used my fifth level to check on the hot one.

Got it. I used two fifth levels just now, too, but I can just rest and do it tomorrow. Okay. I'm trying again, then. Oh shit. I would love to... There was a tattoo artist downstairs.

There was a ghost tattoo artist. You want me to scry on them, too? Jesus. Where are they? What are they doing right now? Just walk down the stairs. I'm going to scry, which I'm going to go downstairs and stare. Are you going to get some ink? I don't know.

It's ghost ink. Ghost ink? Yeah, yeah. I mean, ghost ink. Let's go. I'm also made of... I just have a lot of questions. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is a tattoo for you just like chisel? I mean, technically. I have my rock hammer still.

Wait, like a chisel? Do you have skin? Well, it's hard. It is. But there's, ooh, I don't want to. That's the fine-tithing. I don't want to hurt you. Yeah, go ahead. It's fine. I mean. But there's, ooh, I don't want to. That's the fine-tithing. I don't want to hurt you. Yeah, go ahead, it's fine.

I mean, it gives a little bit. It does give. But it is a little more taut than normal. Sorry. Let's go get you some ghost ink. I'm tempted. I want to see what that would involve. Let's try. All right.

Fun. Wait, should we all get something? So I assume it's Vandala? Vandala, yeah. All right. Fun. Wait, should we all get something? So I assume it's Vandala? Vandala, yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm going to head downstairs and find Vandala. Okay. Vandalo. Vandalo. Yes. Vandalo.

As you continue back into the underneath, the ship's deck below, still even within the ship, the temperature itself is quite chilly, and as you step back down below, the ship's deck below. Still even within the ship, the temperature itself is quite chilly and as you step back down below, your breath becomes even more apparent in the low lantern light that hangs

and sways from the interior. The ghostly skeletal crew remains playing about their endless revelry in their afterlife curse. And as you step back into the chambers, they all stop for a second and glance over in your direction, just making sure that you understand the outsider presence that you bring to this

before they go back about their business. You can see Vandalo is currently over on the side. Looks like a piece of driftwood that they're currently in the process of carving in a very rudimentary way. Oh! Wits, wits, hi. Ah!

Hey. Hey. So, I've been looking. How much of the work on everybody is yours? Glancing around. And you can see that the work that's done on them is carved into bone. You know, it isn't an exterior skin tattoo.

There's no skin on this ghostly crew. So it is a carved series of shapes and designs. And Vandalkneau looks at you through the skeletal orcish features, the little flickering blue lights on the inside of the sunken sockets. If you could see and hear teeth and bone creaking into a grin. Leans forward.

I did all of it. It is what I do to pass the time. It's beautiful. Thank you. That's actually why I wanted to put a proposal in front of you. Did you do anything like this before you were? Ghost pirate, I guess?

It's funny you mention that. I always meant to dabble, but never had the time. Now, plenty of time. Well, that's a shame, because honestly, this work, it should be seen. Oh, you are too kind. It's a damn shame, honestly. Do you also do ink?

I've not tried it, really. Do you have ink? No. I do. There's ink. You have paint. What's the fucking difference? God. A tenth of our audience just gasping in pain.

Sorry. I was thinking, your stuff honestly should be off, exist off this ship. It's just not fair, really. And I was wondering, Your stuff honestly should be off, exist off this ship. It's just not fair, really. And I was wondering if you'd be doing a little work on, well, not a ghost.

How extensive are you thinking? I don't know, I've got some room on the back. I have no idea how much it's going to hurt. Probably a fuck-ton. I don't know. I've got some room on the back. I have no idea how much it's going to hurt. Probably a fuck-ton. I don't know either. But, uh. I forgot what it's like to be squishy. Pokes your shoulder a bit.

Well, I just think it's only reasonable. I mean, you're basically immortal at this point, I suppose. What do you give me? basically immortal at this point, I suppose. What do you give me? Well, I'm going to give you real immortality. Huh? You basically, at this point, don't exist out there. Everybody who's ever known you, anybody you ever knew, they're long gone.

They still fear us. They know about us. They fear you. They tell stories, they're our songs. We are scary! But you're an artist. These are not mutually exclusive. You can be scary and be an artist. But no one knows you're an artist.

No one's ever seen your work. No one ever will, other than the people on this boat. That would make me a sellout. That would make you immortal. Any of your art that manages to get off this boat is just that much more real life. Suddenly you have a name. Suddenly you have something on the outside world

that makes you you. People come and go. Art lasts forever. We do kind of kill the people we come across, usually here, and those that we don't kill, it's because they ran away screaming. Make a persuasion check for me. I'll give you advantage, because it's been helping him.

While he's doing that, can I get eyes on the driftwood that he was rudimentarily carving? Sure, yeah. Is it a shape of anything? Does it look like he was trying to form it into something? Make a perception check.

17. 17? Right now, it looks like an oblong bowl. But it could almost be a ship's shape. Okay. I'm medley. 12. 12? You think I'm not going to get drunk

and tell everyone I ever meet who did this piece of work on me on a ghost pirate ship? On one condition. Hello? Yeah. If your hearts make noise. Oh. Nice. Honestly, if I don't make noise,

that's really your fault, isn't it? As you grasp the bone, it almost freezes your fingers to the touch, and you can feel the heat immediately escape your fingers to the point where the hand almost immediately goes numb before you release it. And when you pull away, there's this cracking sensation, almost like your fingers had frozen to the bone

before you managed to pull away and sever that slight little layer of ice that had begun to form. We got a taste. Tell me what you want. I put it on you. I am so excited. Did Fearne come down for this? Fearne, did you come down for this?

Uh... I don't know, was it? Except for you guys, you can decide who came down. I was down in the belly of the ship. Don't take anything. Please don't steal from the ghost pirates. Why? Why would you? I'm just saying, I can see you,

and I know you're clocking this space, but let's just please make it one day before we start jacking stuff. But just what are they going to do with it? Hey, you guys. I mean, the artist. I'm sorry. They do have a working tattoo artist. We're on a ship full of ghosts

and we have an endgame of who knows what. I really think that we should get a tattoo. Oh. Okay. I don't know what. What should we get? Do they have ink? Oh, like a group tattoo? Sort of. Yeah.

Like a matching group tattoo? I mean, Ash is doing something extra, but. Okay. I feel like, I just feel like... Do they have ink? When the hell is this ever going to happen again? It's true. I have a bottle of ink.

Oh, just like, ink, ink, ink? Yeah. All right. I'm done. It's probably as poisonous as the pain is. We'll probably be dead before it turns into a blob on us anyway. Seriously. Doing something with it.

What could we get? I'll have a vial of scarath poison if we want to go harsh. A little bell. A little bell on fire. That want to go hard. Oh, just a little bell. A little bell on fire. That's cute. It's not bad. Flaming bell.

I don't hate it. I actually don't hate it for myself. Yeah. I wonder how well he does it. Let's do it. With faces. We just get Bertrand's face. Oh god.

That's the back tattoo of Bertrand. Bertrand's face. I'll do the back crowd. Like the Steve-O tattoo. Just meet me at the back. I spell that Bertrand. We can each get one letter of Bertrand. Maybe they can etch it into the metal,

because usually they cut into the bone here. Are we getting bone tattoos? No, no, no, no, no. I mean, you could if you want to, but. Wait, like honor bones or tattoos of bones? No, I mean the crew here, they have tattoos, but there's no flesh, so. Oh, I mean.

They want a bone? I mean, I'm sure they haven't boned in a long time. They might. If they can etch it on me, I'm down. It's, I mean, it feels like the very nature is boning. Yeah. I mean, none of us have said this out loud yet, but we're kind of family now, yeah?

You're either brazen or stupid. You all look over the shoulder and you see about five feet behind you is Cerillia, the Navigator, the one-eyed fire genasi skeleton that has a cloak over the shoulder, and you see about five feet behind you is Cerillia, the Navigator, the one-eyed, fire genasi skeleton that has a cloak over one shoulder that's smoldering beneath a faint bit of smoke that drifts out from under,

looking at the rest of you with her one burning good eye. She was in the sniper's nest, right? Yes. Yeah. Of course. Never bet Brazen that was smart. Why are we brazen or stupid? You're not scared. Of what? Of a tattoo?

Of us. Oh. Have you seen our... I mean, to be honest, I'm a little on edge, but yeah, I mean. We made a deal. I'm used to it. Why? It's just not normal.

Hey, we've been around enough to know that things aren't always what they seem. I don't judge based on appearances. Do you want us to be scared of you? Are you scared of us? No, we are. Just watching carefully. She backs away.

The cloak spins as she steps back up to the upper deck. She's so cool. She's very cool. I was actually thinking the same thing. Wait, are we cut? Do you want to cut a scene? They just expect us to be scared of them. And I don't know, it just seems like it's a cry for help.

Don't you get any cry for help from that? I think maybe they want it. It might be an expectation, like a desire. Like it's easier to have people be scared of you so you don't have to get close to them and put them in relationships. That's what I'm saying. That's really good analysis. Whoa. Perhaps we're awakening something in them

that they did not know was there. Just saying. Wow. And I don't know that they're content they're being something in them that they did not know was there. Just saying. Wow. I don't know that they're content they're being held in this world instead of passing on. They seem to like their captain, though. Do they?

Wait, were we going to try to cause mutiny between them all? Is that something we stopped at? What? What? Wait, no, I thought this is not a thing, right? Were we doing that? I think it's been running through Ashton's head. Okay.

I feel like we've talked to Ashton. I mean, not start one, necessarily, but I don't think they've really had a conversation about their lot in life in a very long time. Well, the life part is lacking. Yeah. All I'm saying is, I mean, this seems a little dull, doesn't it?

Yeah, but I mean, I imagine they're cursed until he isn't, right? So they're all on board with helping him find all of his items, and then they get released. They finally get to be free. And he made a deal, right? This was part of a bargain he made, so it's not like a, I guess it's a deal, right? Like, this was part of a bargain he made, so it's not like a...

I guess it's a curse, but kind of down to clown. Is it a curse? Because if it is, you know, I have this magical spell that could maybe remove a curse, but it probably isn't powerful enough to remove that. Seems like some serious shit. Also, the boat is kind is bound by him, right? Maybe.

So if we remove the curse, the boat goes right. Yeah. We got to game out a mutiny real carefully. I remove your curse. Go-bloop. Fuck! I'm not even suggesting necessarily that anything happen while we're on board.

I'm just putting something out there, putting something into the ship. There's a lot of means of production out there. I'd just be ashamed if someone seized it. Just saying. I mean, his deal seems pretty intense, right? Beyond just a regular curse. Like, you saw intense, right? Beyond just a regular curse. Like, you saw it, right?

You can make an arcana check if you want to. Sure, I'll roll my new die. Can I assist him? Sure. You could either roll yourself or you could help him roll twice. How's your arcana? Terrible. Then I'll roll myself.

Oh, I rolled 22. You rolled? Yeah. Oh. Oh, Hunter's 22. You rolled? Yeah. Oh. Roll. Oh. Hunter's Bane stuff. Ooh. Also 22. Yeah.

Yeah, you imprinted on me. You both know this information, but you also have an extensive knowledge of curses. You fought them, you used them, and you exist in that space peripherally fairly strongly. In ways that you understand, and in some that you're still grasping. But what you used them, and you exist in that space peripherally fairly strongly. In ways that you understand, and in some that you're still grasping. But what you do know,

especially you and your proximity to dark magics as well, that there are many curses in this world. Some that are simple, some are complex. There are ways to break curses that go by the rules and laws in which they were bound. And there are magical ways to undo them outside of their contract. Even the most powerful curses are

vulnerable in the right ways, but it's extremely difficult. Not impossible, but very difficult. Yeah, this seems like some next level shit. Yeah, I assumed so. Yeah. Still? Besides, I assume so. Yeah. Still? Besides, I want to talk to them. They seem, you know,

I would just love to take a little bit of time to get their perspectives, because they all seem very comfortable in their situations. Just across the way behind you, there's one of them holding the cards, looks over and goes, . They look so happy. They know who they are. Yes. holding the cards, looks over and goes,.

They look so happy! They know who they are! Yes! That's amazing! They've self-actualized. It's actually really refreshing to see. You know, yes, and if I might be somewhat cursed, Chetney might be. I mean, honestly, Chetney,

you're also quite the inspiration, because you're very comfortable and have accepted your situation. Oh, thriving! I mean, I'm next level. Yes. It is a problem that it's a curse, though. You see, I don't know.

I've told Imogen this. I think Delilah's still in my head. So maybe, I don't know if I can classify it, I mean, I guess in a way, but, you know, maybe I just need to embrace it. I'll fix it. I take one werewolf plug. I thought we killed her, Kildare. I thought she was gone.

I thought so, too, but here recently, she's been like, You can't get rid of me. Does she seem as present or strong as she used to? No, very dormant. Very dormant, but you see, I kind of, when I lost control with Bordor, and I resorted to a thing

that I was trying to keep at bay when I sucked his life force out, and I think that's... I think she was there. I don't think she was gone. I think she was just like a seed frozen in the tundra. And it gave her a little bit of warmth. Almost like she lurks in the darkest parts of your subconscious or something, and when those parts show themselves,

she gets a little bit further freed. That and when I eat the souls of people. When you what? Feeds her. The children, the souls. Eating children? Yes. Becca, this was when we separated, right? Yes. And then the eating the souls of children part,

what did you mean by that? Hyperbole, I'm sure. Oh, I didn't say children. I think that she's a children. I was just saying because she was eating the souls and I was looking at the children. I was just trying to make a children's mind. But she didn't actually eat a child?

No, no. Oh, okay. I don't know if I'm actually eating their souls, but it's like this ravaging hunger comes over me. And it's this necromantic drawl, and I can feel their heartbeat, their life force pulsing through me, and it's honestly exhilarating. But I think it's problematic.

Wait, this has been something that's been going on the entire time? Well, so, so, yes. So it's, okay. When Imogen and I were fighting, because I touched her rock, and the rock, I think, had a little bit of a life force,

and then it shattered. And then I suddenly, and then I felt Delilah, and she was like, Marr! And then I realized I had this new ability to reach in and grasp and excise people's beings from them. And every time I do it, when I lose control, she shows her

pretty little face in my head. But I've tried not to do it. I haven't done it for a really long time. Maybe you should. Maybe you should just embrace the shadow, embrace the dark side, and confront it and own it like these pirates do. Oh, good. Oh, that's good advice.

Embracing the shadow is literally what came up. Thank you. I didn't realize that. Excuse me? You all turn, and away from all the rest of them, away from the card games and the social corners of the deck, there's one kind of- Are they like rollies right now? Yeah, they're mad rollies right now.

They've forgotten the rest of the card game. One of the smaller skeletons goes, Sorry, I couldn't help but overhearing what you're talking about, and I just. Who's talking to us, which one? You recognize the one who was referred to as Keith? The little miniature from the battle? Oh, I wrote down Kyle. I did, too.

You wrote down Kyle as well. I think it was Kyle. No, no. It was Keith, and he was, oh, his name's Kyle, but the captain referred to him as Keith. Oh, that's right. Kyle, not Keith. Yeah. For a skeleton, he looks demure, for as much as a fleshless, bone-husk ghost ship can be.

He puts a hand up and places it on your shoulder. Hi, Kevin. for as much as a fleshless, bone-husked ghost ship can be. He puts a hand up and places it on your shoulder. Hi, Kevin. That's okay. You're new here. Look, before I was a ghost skeleton thing, I struggled with some challenges of my own in my old life um i gave in very intensely to uh the the drink and uh it had a hold on a lot of my life and um you know at times i tried to hold it back and times i gave into it and i came to realise you can't get rid of it it's always there

and it's more about learning to live with it and just let it not rule you um when once you're an addict you're always an addict uh and it's just learning how to better deal with those impulses and relying on those around you who have your best interests at heart and listening to them when they're very loud and aggressively telling you to put it down. It's very insightful.

Yes. It's very insightful. Thank you. Seeing the one-for-one allegory. I mean, that feels kind of like what the werewolves told you. I am a werewolf. Oh, sorry.

I might have exposed some personal- I, too, feel the desire for blood and meat and sometimes sinewy fatty bits, but I feel you. Once an addict, always an addict. Hmm. I mean, I didn't really make the choice to have her in my brain,

but I see what you mean. Yeah, anyway, I'm going to go keep cleaning up. Hey, wait, Keith, have you ever? It's Kyle. Oh, see, well, he had a close call. Oh, he did. He really did. I was just curious, you thought so well earlier. Have you ever known the captain to not keep his word?

No, a captain's a good man. He keeps his word. He's, you know, he's a big, strong, sort of forthright man. Insight check. Make an insight check. That's so good. Very aggressive.

What number is it? Ooh! All right. Sorry. 19 plus 13. That's a lot. That's a million. 32. 32. Whoa! Whispers?

I got nothing to say. This is not for whispers. 32, you crass. 13, 13 insight. Guys, we've got a live show coming up. Might be in theaters. Might not. Also, other stuff. Graphic novels, Dark Horse,

sweatpants. Sweatpants, hoodies. Sagamere. Marisha, do you need a coffee of some kind? No. That seemed like an aggressive question. Do I, do I, do I, well, are you talking to me? I should drop a lot of that. I said Marisha,

I didn't say Vodna. Yeah. Does she seem tired? I didn't think you seemed tired. No, I just thought she might like a flat white with vanilla. Oh. I can't believe I didn't see that coming. Yes, I am tired. I am so tired, Liam. You're not treading around in that space for a while.

I wasn't asking her that! So, Captain Ovos is a very strong leader. He's helped us carve our way into history, and everyone in the islands fears us, both host and the wonderment, and everyone in between. We are endlessly instilling fear across the Seas of the Shattered Teeth,

and until the day that we finally acquire all of his missing gains, then we can rest. Doesn't it frustrate you a little bit that people around here can't even remember your name? What's your name? Kevin? Cameron. It's Kyle. It's Kyle. It is Kyle. It's just Kyle.

None of the other names, I'm so sorry. I forgot what the other names were. It's just Kyle. It's just Kyle. I've been trying to get him, just to learn one for so long, I forgot the rest. But anyway, it's fine. He looks over his shoulder

towards the other crew members, and you see his eyeline goes straight to the very, very back room where the stairs lead up to the deck. And sitting on the stool right next to the captain's quarters, you can see Cerulea sitting right there, just watching all of you having this conversation

at the other side of the deck. The hawk's nest. Anyway, I got to get back to cleaning. It's just something to do. It doesn't really get dirty here, and it doesn't really get clean. We're just going through the motions. Thanks, Ken. Yeah.

Let's go. Let's go! That was very insightful, by the way. It was, it was. Why is fucking Connor a better therapist than me? I mean. I didn't know you were actually taking souls. I thought you were doing a bit,

and so I was adding onto it about the children part. This is, this is good. Well, I can't confirm or deny that they're souls, like I'm collecting them, like a phylactery, or at least I think, you know, I don't know. I don't really know what happens. I think Kyle made a good point that it's never a good thing to give into it,

although that does contradict your advice, FCG. Well, I wasn't saying maybe give into it, I was just saying acknowledge it. No, you said give into it, give yourself over to it. I did, I did. But I think every time you do, I mean, based on the fact that you've give into it, give yourself over to it. I did. But I think every time you do, I mean, based on the fact that you've heard her again, she gets stronger.

You provide her with that power when you pull it into yourself, right? Yes. It feeds her. Yes, but then she feeds me, right? I mean, yeah, you do get stronger. It's just, do we want feeds me, right? I mean, yeah, you do get stronger. It's just a... Do we want her to get stronger?

We want you to. What if she gets strong enough, she just... She'll fully take over. What if it's like... I hear that thought. But also, we're going into such extreme and uncertain circumstances. It feels like we're going to need all the firepower we can get.

So maybe it's a necessary evil? I think it's important to realize what we're fighting for, and that's us. So it's not worth it if we're going to lose somebody. I feel like we all have to accept, or at least be aware that that is a possibility, though. Right? Sacrifice. You all have had this thought, right?

I believe in sacrifices and not casualties. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're all going to get out of this. We're all going to be alive. We're going to be so happy, and everything is going to be aces. I think about it a lot. You do?

What Ashton said. I don't want to die, but I'm willing to sacrifice. And we're kidding ourselves if we don't think that we're not marching into the lion's den. I wouldn't stand by and let you be taken. If that happens, I hope it doesn't. I want you at our side, not her. All right. No, this is good. It's good to hear everyone's thoughts. Maybe tomorrow you can still scry.

Sure. Might be telling. Maybe she's gone. Maybe she's gone. I don't know if she's gone. If you could make a deal with her or something. But I guess that's what's happening. What's happening, actually.

Now that I think about it. Can we rewind one second? Did you sense anything from young Connor? I did. He was very sweet. It's Kyle. And he just, you know, he thinks the captain is fine,

but he's just a lonely little guy, you know? And no one's really taking him seriously or even remembering his name. That's sad to hear. I know. I'm a malaise on this ship. Should we make him a little name tag? That's a great idea.

Will it stay on a ghost? He could be in a two-legged skeleton. I'm not here to crush a dream. I'm not here to crush a dream. Etch it under the ribs. You can chisel one or paint one. A wooden name tag to pin to his bone chest? Yeah, like a little necklace situation.

Yeah. Like a little wooden doctor. My name is Kyle, you fucks. Yeah, I like that. Let's do it. Yeah, he's a sweet boy. And then to rewind just a bit further, are we now getting tattoos?

Who, right? Yes. Good Jesus, God. Flaming bells. I like it. Flaming bells is great. Yeah, it is kind of cute. Specific spot. I got mine moved out. On your butt cheek, Orym.

It's already filled up. The butt cheek? Uh-huh. Oh man, not just a blank canvas. You'll see. I'll hold it taut for the artist. Oh, it's firmer than you think. I'll paint some pictures. Very scrotal. Well, I would put a flaming bell on my butt for all of you.

All right, well, let's go do it. All right, so. It's going to take so long, this many people. It's a small one. It's a small one. It depends on how elaborate your piece needs to be over the next two to three days. Whoever's going first is going to suffer, though.

All right, so I guess to that point. Mine will be very small. All right, what are you plotting then, those who know what your tattoos will be? It's all the same other than me. It's a bell. I'm the only one that's getting shot in my pocket. A bell with fire around it?

It's real cool. Okay. One cheek. I'm not getting it on my butt. Are you getting it? Wherever we want it. Wherever we want it. Wherever we want it. I don't have a butt. That looks like a Taco Bell bell.

Oh my god! That's fine, we've committed to it. Taco Bell doesn't exist in this world. We invented it, it's canon. You guys, live moss. No! Live moss and check your Gmail. We really don't know. Wait, is that don't know. Is it a flaming bell?

No, it's just a bell. I think it's just a bell. We got to re-pink the bell. It just can't be the Taco Bell bell. We'll make it work. We'll go with Del Taco instead. Anyway. What are you plotting, Ashton? I just want a shoulder-back wing piece, not too big, and very much in his style.

And in Primordial, I just want a piece that says, from the earth of the earth to the earth. Okay. Yeah. All right. You sketch it out for him, since he does not speak Primordial. Sure, I sketch the letters and I'm like, give me the vibe. And it is. Everyone else will be ink, but for you,

it's a scarring. Yeah. It's a heavy series of hits across your back, which creates a heavy pockmarked scarring in the shape and the design of the Primordial you requested. It's really cool how it just looks like a neat, multi-tiered design that flares out across the back of the shoulders. But those who can read Primordial or look close enough, you can see the continuation of each piece to the next that creates the frays upon the frays upon the frays.

It thins down with the lats, the middle of the small back. It takes a good full day. And as per the request of your artist and based on your own experience, it is a very painful, very loud experience. For the rest of you in the midst of this, over the next day or so in which this takes place,

is there anything you're doing to either stay present and watch or escape to get away from the yelling? Just hanging out. In the next couple of days, I might scry on Delilah, but other than that, just hanging out and... J, you want to try and scry on Delilah? Sure. All righty.

All right, your first attempt. You feel as the scrying ritual begins to reach out for something, it almost seems to unravel the moment that it reaches beyond the circle you create and the runes filter out. Okay, that didn't work. How about I could ask the change bringer about her?

Or I could go into your dreams. Do you dream about her? We could certainly try. I mean, she's like a daydream all the time. Then maybe I could just do it any time. All right. Or maybe, hey, Fearne? Yes? Do you still have those little incense and kind of... Yes. Yes. Do you want me to set up just a little...

A little nap space? Yes. A little meditation space? Yes. Yes. Do you want me to set up just a little? A little nap space? Yes. A little meditation space? Yes. Imagine if you stayed with me? Of course. It might help if you can thank horrible thoughts to bring her out.

Because you were saying it's the darkest parts of you that activate her? All right. I don't know. Maybe. I'm going to set everything up nice with some fabrics and some incense, crush up a little lavender and a little blue lotus, sprinkle it around you. Do you want to try to suck out some of my soul? Yeah. Whoa.

No. You would just give up your soul like that? Well, I don't imagine she'd take all of it. It might spark Delilah. Let's try the more mild approach first. Conservative. Yes, yes. Conservative. Yes. Yes. Okay.

But I'll lay my head in Imogen's lap and just get myself to that half asleep, half awake deep meditative space and just focus and meditate on Delilah. Okay. Okay, okay. And you're casting Share Dream? Okay. Go ahead and roll a d20

and add your wisdom modifier, please. Can I, at the same time, I want to cast Detect Thoughts, but I'm going to try to focus through Laudna's thoughts and see if I can find another. Ooh. Okay. 17.

17, okay. This is weird. Nice. Wait, can I help you out in any way, since I'm setting up a little space. Huh? Well? Can I help you out in any way, setting up a little space? I don't know.

Trying to make this calming, or are we trying to make this uncomfortable? I'm not sure. Huh? What? Do we want a calm space? Is that what we want? It's a calm space. I mean, that's what I was going for. As calm as it can be with you screaming in the background.

I'm not. I'm taking a break right now. Just finished the background. I'm not, I'm taking a break right now. Just finish the outline. Does it hurt? Yes. A lot. All right. You concentrate and focus. And as you try and bring the image of Delilah

into your mind, it's like you have a hard time remembering what she looks like. You know who she is, you've seen her before, but when you go into your subconscious, it's just a shadow, it's just an outline. Like she's perpetually backlit by a faint purple light and you can't see her face. It's hard to focus. Like every single time you try and directly look towards it, especially backlit by a faint purple light, and you can't see her face.

It's hard to focus. Every single time you try and directly look towards it, your attention drifts off to something in the background. Can I try to help her focus? You would have if you were successful in delving in for any consciousness beyond hers, but unfortunately, you can see what she's seeing, but you don't sense another consciousness

that you can connect with around or within her at the moment. You share in the space and you can see from her, as Laudna is stepping through this calm field of purple orchids this calm field of purple orchids and other funeral light flowers. You can see trees and the distant shadow of a city. Kind of familiar to the shadow realm

that you fought, Delilah, not long before, though also unfocused and blurred in places and amorphous and changing. You see as she walks, there's that shadow of a woman that walks in front of her. And even you trying to focus on it, your attention keeps looking off into other surrounding details.

And the daydream just fades as you hear the sound of creaking and the cheers of six or seven skeletal crew off to the side as a four-way game of rollies came to a climactic, multi-tiered stage conclusion. That's about as much as you can glean. I'm sorry, I failed you. What did you see?

Just blurry purple shapes and nothing. All right, maybe that's a good sign. Do you feel any different? Do I feel any different? Sadly, no. Not really. Oh, rested. Hey, that's great. Lavender is nice.

Yes, it's always a little nice. Oh well. Next time, suck my soul. Kind of hot. That's a pretty hot Chili Peppers song. I just made a tattoo. Suck my soul. I think it would actually work.

Next time it happens, maybe I'll. I smell like a soul, I smell like a soul. Is the double doors to the captain's quarters? Yes. Is it just kind of, is Cerelia at the door? Or is it just? At the moment, no. The captain has gone to the upper deck and Cerelia followed behind door, or is it just? At the moment, no. The captain has gone to the upper deck, and Cerelia followed behind about 15, 20 feet.

I'm just going to walk around. I'm not really sure where anything is, and I'm just going to walk into the captain's quarters. The door is very locked as you go for the handle and. Shit. I'm going to try to open it. Go ahead and make a sleight of hand check. Okay.

10. 10. You glance around, get down to where the keyhole is, and it is an elaborate keyhole. It looks almost like an intersectional plus-like gap amongst normal keyhole itself. And as you try and figure out how to use your lock picks,

you get two pieces in, and the tumblers are odd. You've not encountered a lock like this, and you quickly realize within about a minute or so that there is no way you're getting through this. There's no way I'm getting through this door. I'll just knock. I know he's upstairs, but just in case. You knock.

There's no answer, but a number of the crew who are down into the lower chamber glance over at the sound of a gentle knock. And up on the deck, you glance up and can hear heavy footfalls begin to approach. I'll just start walking down the hall. Okay. Where's the...

Descending, you hear a voice go, Oh, I know, I know. You know where the bathroom is? You see the captain, Nervous, descending the steps, sheathing his new blade as he steps down into the shadow below. Can I help you? Yes.

I need to pee. Is this, I need to pee. Is this, I don't know if someone's already peeing in there. Gestures up to the deck. Like the rest of us used to. Overboard. How does that work? Or pick a bucket. Oh, oh, oh, okay. This is your area where you sleep?

Aye. And if I see you too close again, we'll kill all of you and make you one of the crew. Oh. I just, I... Do you have extra bed space in there? Just like, I'm so tired. I'm so tired and I just want a nice place to lay down

and I can, I can, I won't even be in your way. Just a little nap would be so, so, so nice right now, you don't even know. He looks up at you, because he is still a dwarven skeleton, and you stand a full two and a half, three feet taller than him,

though he still holds a presence that looms large in the middle of this tight hallway. I am very cuddly and very cozy, just putting that out there. I'm sorry. Are you suggesting that you, a flesh and blood horned beast as yourself, wants to come and lay down in the captain's quarters

just to get a nice little bit of wink-eye? Yes. Make a persuasion check. Come on. This is the most important roll of the campaign. Get that wink eye. Yeah. Get it.

Fearne's like, can I take a nap in your RV? 21. 21? Yeah. If not, I really, I understand. I totally know it's such a forward thing to ask. I just, I was just checking.

No harm in asking, right? No harm. Well, when the moon's up tonight, you can rest. See, that's funny, because I feel like the moon is not going to come up tonight, because I don't think you guys see it out here, so I think you're telling me that I cannot come up here and sleep. Right?

I'll let you know. Okay, okay. I'm going to go. I'm getting a tattoo. As you step past, the captain sits there for a second. You see his head, just look at the ground for a minute. Like if you'd ever see a skeletal ghost captain process

quietly to himself for a good minute. If you ever see a skeletal ghost captain process quietly to himself for a good minute. Did that just happen? Before he shakes his head a bit and steps back up to the deck. Okay, okay, we're getting somewhere. We're getting somewhere. You're going to fuck this guy. A couple minutes pass.

But I have other plans, maybe not just that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think I am? This is harder than the rest of us. A few moments pass, and as you look around a bit, almost out of nowhere, what's your passive perception? It's over here.

19. 19. Whoa. 19. Out of nowhere, a voice creeps into your left ear. What's he doing with the captain? Oh, it's Cerulea. You glance, and right there is Cerulea, the navigator, uncomfortably close. You can feel the heat emanating

from her smoldering bones at this proximity. Smoldering bones. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to step on your toes if this is your thing. I wasn't even trying to do a thing. I was trying to get a comfy bed. I'm sorry. Don't sleep with the captain. Because it's not great? What do you mean? with the captain. Because it's not great? What do you mean? And she just steps back.

Just swaps away. All right, all right. Wow. Let's see what we can do. How's it going? What were you up to? We're working on our tattoos. Yes, how many of us have done the thing? You finished your back piece,

and we'll say, moving to the table, Orym, you probably were the most eager to get yours done next. And one other person, and for the next half day's journey or so, the rest of you will be able to be finished up. Where are you getting yours? I don't know, I can't decide.

I was thinking maybe back of the shoulder kind of thing, maybe? Uh-huh, oh, that would look good. I don't know. I also am very curious how this is going to work on my flesh. Me, too. Yeah. I mean, it's basically parchment. It should just take five.

Yeah, I could just draw on it when it's the end of the whole thing. That's true. Yeah, what about you, Laedris? How is this going to work? I don't know. I don't know how this is going to work. We'll do the same thing we did with me.

We'll just tap it in. Etch it in. That's really funny. Which is exactly what it sounds like. That's really true. Which is exactly what it sounds like. That's really annoying. But on the final evening of the journey, as the rest of you are watching the sky turn into a dark, dark, lightless expanse,

the faint blue glow of the various lanterns that hang in swing with the ship as it rocks into the ocean waves, the faint bit of of the various lanterns that hang in swing with the ship as it rocks into the ocean waves. The faint bit of glow that gives off to the heavy fog that vanishes into nothing. Eventually, the captain, who spent a majority of the day just walking and looking out over the waters and occasionally pulling out his new sword

and looking at it for an extended period of time before putting it back. He's obsessed. He's obsessed with the thing. Comes back and finds you. The moon's home. Have you dressed? Now's the time.

Yes, yes, of course. Steps back to his quarters, and within the cloak, pulls out this wicked-looking, kind of thin skeleton key. It's almost bladed at the edge into multiple blades and puts it back in its coat and opens the door. What is that sound? You're on a ghost ship. That shit's creepy.

Oh, it's just a creepy sound? No, I don't know what that is. And a little unit of false sense of security. What do I see in there? On the inside, well, the door's open and it's pitch black in there. You can just see this faint bit of what looks to be almost like a bay glass window

on the opposite side of the chamber that looks out into the almost completely dark seascape beyond in the mist that is faintly lit by the exterior lanterns. And on the inside of it, as the doors open, interior lanterns delight the chamber with a dull white-blue flame. You can see there is a desk

and there are shelves in the sides. There is a small collection of trinkets, though many of the shelves are bare. And you can see there is a canopy bed that is settled on the left-hand side of the chamber, as well as a sitting couch, almost like a fainting couch on the right-hand side. It's very well furnished.

I can absolutely take the fainting couch to nap on. It's totally fine. Up to you. Okay, I'll take the bed. Are you sleeping now, too? I was just going to take a nap. We don't sleep. Oh. So you're not going to go to sleep? No. Okay. Are you going to sail a boat? The boat sails itself.

Okay. That's a cool thing. She's part of my deal. That's part of your deal. So what's that about? It's over once you get all your stuff? Your curse? Maybe. I just need my things back and vengeance complete. Then we can do what we like. So you get your things, and then vengeance is complete.

What does that entail? Finding those who wronged us, and then the bloodline. Oh. That feels like a lot of work. It's good work. if you can get it. So when this whole thing is done for you, is everybody else on the ship just free to go?

I don't know. We'll find out when we get there. So are they going to sleep? It might take me a minute to fall asleep, but yes. So the moon is showing? Mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Okay. All right, I'm going to go to the canopy bed

and just lay down. In the last night? This would be the last evening on the ship, yeah. Okay. The bed is chilly. The sheets that remain there, they've been untouched in a very long time. There's a layer of dust that sets upon the entirety of it,

and as you open the sheets a bit and pull back the blanket. They're very nice. A couple of crimson splashes stained across the exterior. Look at this. But it looks comfortable. All right. I'm just going to lay down and just try to act like I'm falling asleep. Okay.

A few moments pass before you hear the captain's voice a little close. You're very warm. Ooh. Oh, you. Make a deception check. Take one for the tea. Remember that conversation about sacrifices?

Give me a full pen's answer. 12. 12? Oh. You're warm and you're awake. You can lie next to me and get some warmth if you'd like. Maybe you'll get a little nappy in. You offer some of your warmth? Oh!

Fearne gonna fuck a bone. Or die. Is that? I know, what if she gets cursed? Or what if it's the best sex of her life? What if? What if? What if?

Any one way to find out. But that sounds so ominous. Like I'm going to give you some of my warmth, am I giving it to you forever? My apologies, but everything I say comes out ominous. I wish I could control it. It comes with the territory. Yeah.

All right, well, hop in, hop in. He doesn't kill you so really at will. I know, she's a little bit. He scoots up onto the edge of the bed. And it's funny, this captain who is given this intense presence on the ship, in this moment seems almost, I don't want to say sheepish, but careful.

Aww. I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to do anything. So, that I... That was supposed to be for me. And I know in this deal, you know, we made you a deal for that sword, but I was wondering if there's anything else that maybe we could get. Listen, I know that's part of the deal. I just, I, if for some reason you have it this whole trip and you're just over it, I will take it off of your hands.

He steps up from the bed a little bit and takes a few steps away from you, looking out through the glass window. You can, now it looked like it once had this faint bluish glow from the dark interior of when you first entered the captain's quarters. The interior light now makes it a black void beyond the windows. It pulls the blade out and looks at it. You can see it's still a massive, thick, cross-hilted sword. It looks too large, almost, probably end-to-end, nearly as

tall as he is, but he still holds it off like it's paper in his hand as it glistens and glances back over his shoulder at you, a blue flame crackling in his skull sockets. It's quite a deal that was made for this sword. You're the first we've had on ship since we started. It was a fair trade. And it's now one of my things. Okay. Can I just say goodbye to it? Make a persuasion check.

Mm. That's cocked. I don't know. That's cocked. I don't know. That's good. Okay. 26. No, I'm so sorry. Why am I bad at math right now? 15 plus, you said persuasion?

Yes. All the time. 26, 26. 26, okay, got it, got it. And looks at the blade for a second. For a moment. Okay. Then, can I have some of your warmth? Yes, yes, absolutely, absolutely. Just like the little dainties. Don't take it away from me, but I will. Okay.

He hands you the blade. It touches your grasp. Your fingers clasp around it, the cold metal in your fingers. You feel this flickering light that seems to burgeon in your palm, and a voice comes to your mind. You, class of the Fey Realm. Ah, you hold within you a great power. A power that was once taken from me. But you burn like a beacon. The path you walk in life has such purpose.

You've been chosen, and together we can do great many things. Did it say something to you? No. No! It didn't? Give it back. No. No! I did it. Give it back.

Do you want to stay with him? Oh, yeah, where are you going? Where are you going to go? Buffering, buffering. Oh boy, action chances. You broke the game. Color wheel. I'm sorry. You walk many paths,

dance across the plains, the lands. There is much corruption in the world, and we can snuff it out. We can snuff it out. We can snuff it out. Okay. All right, I'm going to give this back to you, but I'm going to miss it. All right, get in the bed.

Get in the bed. Amelia looks nervous for a skeleton. What? Skeletal? Take a quick shower. It's been a while. My little musky. It's been a long time since I have, um... Spooned?

Aye. Come, come, come, come, come, come. Come, come, come. The crackling of his bones against themselves and the inside of his cloak as he ends up with his jacket wrinkling heavily. The damp leather squeaking across the wood eventually curls up.

Am I spooning you? No, no, no, no, no. Well, you're going to go in front of me and I'm going to spoon you with my warmth. I've never been spooned before. It's the best. I'm going to wrap around him, put a leg over, and just try to make him go to sleep.

As you curl up around the dread Captain Novus in his quarters, scourge of the seas that surround the Shattered Teeth. Oh my god. Big spoon to hit little. He doesn't breathe, but he sighs with the contentment that you can see the cold breath emanate

from beyond the back of his skull, now outside the mouth you cannot see. It's been some time. Yeah, it's been... It's been a long time since you felt the warmth of the woman's touch. Where am I going with this? You're doing great.

You're doing great. I'm just going to stay here as long as you need and I'll just keep giving you my warmth. Okay. He rests for a good few hours. Okay. I'm going to try to look around the room and try to just take in the room and see

what's around, if there's anything exciting. Make a perception check. Is there a list? Yes. Anything I can find in there. Can I go on the double dare, twice the rust run? Investigation. Or perception, either or. Perception? Okay, okay. 23.

23. Glancing back from where you are, I mean, the desk definitely has drawers that are closed. You can see on the shelves, there are some areas that are cluttered and some areas that are empty. There is a modicum of a collection that appears to be missing pieces of what you can see. It looks like there is a ring

that is placed upon a stone or wooden hand that's carved just on display. The hand that's on it, the carving looks like it's been cleft in two to the point where it's almost broken apart into two pieces, but it still holds itself there. There's just this wide gap in the middle of the hand. You can see there's a small

porcelain statue that looks somewhat chipped in places. It looks like a baby elephant that's been painted over. You can see that there is a chest that has a heavy lock on it that sits shoved off to the side of that fainting couch area and it has a musky doily thrown over it that has a mildewed twinge to it. Musky doily. Yeah. That's a good band-aid. I have a band-aid.

I'm just grabbing his back. The job begins. Roll a constitution saving throw for me. Oh. Oh boy. Holy. I want some of your warmth. Advantage to get spells and other magical effects? This would be a magical effect.

Okay. Okay, 18. 18. In the time that you're there, as you're looking about, you exhale and have a moment where you're like, almost like you forget how to inhale for a moment. Your body temperature seems to drop and you feel this chilled essence begin to combat the fire that burns within your spirit.

Do you relinquish the promised warmth? You've managed to, you've brought it from a compulsion to a choice. Do you relinquish the warmth you promised? Yes. Yes! Can I always get it back? Yes, I have words! Can I always get it back from your demon boyfriend?

Yes! Yes. You said share. Yes. Listen, I'm all a quid pro quo here. I'll give a little. Wait, no. Wait, that's not what it is. I mean, yeah, but if it's your choice,

it's your power, sure, okay. Oh yeah, that can usually be, nevermind. Let's scrap that. The flame that ever smolders in your spirit dims ever so faintly as you feel that warmth leave you and the cold, long-dead captain seem to have a moment of color return.

The bone not pale, blanched white, stone-like gray, but almost like a bit of sunlight hits the exterior of his bones. Do things. I'll talk to you at break about one of them. Oh! Your hit points are permanently reduced by five. Permanently?

Yeah, yeah, of course. Okay. Oh shit. We'll talk about the other part at break. Oh my god. Stay up to class. Okay. Oh shit. Then as that leaves, the captain, you hear go,

Ah. I like those who keep up their end of bargain. It's what we live by. And I thank you for letting me know what it's like to be the small spoon. Anyway, I haven't left the ship to its devices this long before. I should get back to the deck.

He sits up from the edge of the bed and steps off of it, just his jacket. You can see the ice that seems to have gathered on the inside of his jacket. Some of it has melted, and there's actually a damp puddle on the ground. Oh, ah, that's never happened before. SAM and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA

Road spot. It's fine. You're just getting a little warmth. That's never happened before. He leads you briskly out of the chamber. As soon as you leave the captain's chambers, he goes, and closes the doors behind, and you hear a lock. Okay. All right, I'm going to walk back to everybody. Well, hey, Fearne, how you doing? Hi. All right, how are you? Did you want to check your surroundings

as you leave the quarters? I know, so I really know what she's been doing this whole time. It's been hours, right? It's been a couple hours, yeah. The rest of you leave the quarters? I know, Cerulea, what's she been doing this whole time? It's been hours, right? It's been a couple hours, yeah. The rest of you are doing what? I've been on deck the whole time. Okay.

And I know that I've seen Cerulea come and go. You've seen Cerulea has been keeping up on, as you're keeping an eye, wherever the captain goes, Cerulea seems to shadow about 20 or 30 feet behind. Like a bodyguard that's always keeping watch. Sometimes visibly, sometimes skulking, but you're pretty perceptive and keep a bead. And did that happen when Fearne went down below to the quarters? Make a perception check for me.

Yeah. Down below? In the captain's quarters. Oh, that's a cocked natural 20. The other one's a 19, though, so it's probably going to roll it again. Okay, so 30. Oh. Bummer.

What? As the two of them vanish into the captain's quarters, as soon as they started conversing, you can see Cerulea leaps up from the crow's nest and is peering down. And when they both vanish from view, Cerulea, in an almost panicked sprint, clambers down the mast and rushes to the top of the stairs,

stops to look at the doorway, glances around with her one eye, frantically runs off to the top of the deck and seems to climb over the edge and vanish from view. Excellent. Side of the ship. Because when that happens, Orym climbs up to the crow's nest, and I remember Cerulea taking out a spyglass,

using it, and putting it away. I want to find that. Okay. Easy enough to find in the crow's nest. There's a small leather pouch that's affixed to the side of the mast itself that has within it crossbow bolts. It has extremely old bread. It's just dust at this point with elements of dried crust from god knows how many decades past. And indeed the spyglass that you saw.

All right, take it. Okay. Then I leave. Okay. You're the one that's going to get us first. I thought it was going to be fair. All right. Second stolen spyglass of this campaign.

It's a theme. Yeah. It's not the captain's. About an hour or two goes by before you hear the doors close, an hour or two goes by before you hear the doors close, the captain's chambers, and Fearne begins to gather with the rest of the folk. You've been on the deck this whole time?

Yeah. Or you got it on below? Yeah, because I know I'm super on edge after having stolen the thing, and so I probably just act casual and look out over into the fog. Okay. You do not see Cerulea anywhere. But Fearne.

Yes? The first moment that you're not directly conversing with your compatriots, you turn around The first moment that you're not directly conversing with your compatriots, you turn around and Suruli is right there in front of you. Now, the heat you sense from her ever-charred skeleton is intense.

You worry your eyebrows may be curling back or gone entirely. As the skeleton steps towards you, What were you doing? Spooning. Don't ever touch the captain. I'm sorry, I wasn't stepping on your toes or anything. I don't know if there's already a situation

going on between you two. I will end you if you touch him again. Fair enough. I have to protect him. Okay, I didn't do anything to him. He's totally fine. I won't do anything to him.

I don't need to touch him, man. I don't need to touch him. Didn't. I didn't? You didn't. You didn't cuddle, did you? Oh. It was more of like a passing some warmth. You gave him warmth!

Oh boy. All of the veins of red flame inside the skeleton brighten to an orange-yellow, and the cold of the underdecks becomes like a sauna in an instant. Are we seeing this? Those of you who are below decks are definitely seeing this and feeling it. You above deck see steam begin to rise out from the staircase below. Can I try just calm emotions on Cerulea? Certainly. Okay, I'm going to try it.

Unfortunately, because she's beyond the status of a humanoid at this point, the spell does not find purchase. Fucking hell. She takes a step towards you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't, I didn't, I don't want him. The captain's...

I don't want to hurt him. My charge. He is my boyfriend! I apologize. He only talked about you, okay? I'll make a deception check. He only talked about you! Yes, yes, AJ, let's go!

Oh boy. Call that your name. 14. Defcon name. 14. Defcon 2. 14. Yeah. You did? Mm-hmm. What did he say?

He has been waiting for you to knock on his door at night, so you just need to gain a little bit of courage, okay? Do you mind if I touch you for two seconds? Make another deception check. I swear I'm going to do something nice. Cacked. Cacked.

Cacked. Ow. Cacked. Just get rid of that one. Packed and tied. Seven. Seven. Okay.

I was going to give you a little guidance. You're lying. I swear I was not. I swear I was not. I just want to help you have a little bit more confidence because I'm, you know, overflowing with it. So you just need to go knock. You just need to knock on the door at night and be like,

let's go lay down in that bed, okay? I... Rest well. Enjoy your warmth while you can. He steps back, steps back, steps back, and you hear beneath the cloak a crossbow locking in before they step back and vanish onto the deck. You know, if you need companions, I try. The rest of the crew is just quiet, watching this whole thing happen. After a beep. So roll again, roll again. Yeah. She's got a pad. She's got a bed.

Wow. She's got a bed. That's so bad. I mean, I think for your sake, we need to hook them up or else she's going to try to kill us. I really was just trying to check out his cabin. I didn't realize it made such a mess. What was that thing about warmth? I don't know.

We were just like, I was spooning him, and then I felt a little queasy for a little bit, and then it went away. Okay. But he felt warm, and he had a little bit of life. A little afterglow? Yeah, he had a little afterglow. So I was like, you know what?

I'm doing a great thing here. Yeah. Yeah, you had a little afterglow. So it's like, you know what? I'm doing a great thing here. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. Hey. None of that seems weird at all. She was in a mood. She was in a mood. She really is. Yeah. She's like somebody who took one of her things.

I know. I didn't take any, well, I did not take anything from her. I didn't take anything from her or him. Not really specific. Orym, your forehead tattoo looks so good. Finally stopped hurting. Save your blade! It's on my eyelids. SAM and LAURA laugh.

All right. Anything else we should do before the evening draws to a close? I think we've done everything in Dungeons & Dragons. Only Fearne has done everything. Yeah. So proud.

Oh man. So you find your way to rest for what you believe to be your final evening of journey aboard the Crimson Abyss. As the sun first begins to rise and a bit of light begins to push its way. Push its way? As best as it can,

disseminated through the heavy fogs that consume these seas. You can hear the waves crashing against the ghostly ship. As one by one, you return to the conscious world, still cold, still riding this odd, ever-cursed ship. Fearne, as you awaken, not far off, sitting in a stool, looking at you is the captain, sitting. Oh.

Good morning. Good morning. You and your compatriots have almost gotten to your destination. Do you have any more of that warmth to give? I feel like it made me feel a little sick. I don't know what you did, but I don't know if I can give you any more. You have to, maybe you have to work through the nausea, you know, and then it gets good a little after.

Oh. I've been told that a few times. Oh, word. Yeah. I mean, I feel like, I feel like if there's any more warmth being given here, there's got to be a better end of the deal here for me, because I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of this. You don't get anything out of this.

No. What do I give? What do I get by giving you warmth? You and your friends are still alive. You're the only folks to ever ride along with my crew and live to tell the tale for now. You've gotten quite a bit out of this arrangement. And you were kind to taking up and offer me a bit of your warmth.

If you want to make another deal, we can. I don't know if I'm feeling kind anymore. My apologies, I'm not used to this. Oh no! The mouth! Sometimes I beat like that. Just take it over. I'll be in my quarters. When he gets up and shuffles off. All right.

And right as he passes by and the doors close, you see in the shadow, step forward. Cerulea just glaring at you with her one burning eye. The blue flame almost takes a purple coloration as the flames begin to grow more intense. Now's your chance. Yeah. And Cerulea's head she hears, I mean, you are warm. him to grow more intense. Now's your chance. Yeah. In Cerulea's head, she hears, I mean, you are warm. What was that?

Who told me that? Who told me that? The crossbow comes out of the cloak. I'm going to say, offer your warmth. Ah, ah! Chaos. The angle on this, are you genuinely trying to convince her,

or are you trying to trick her? I'm trying to convince her to go. Make a persuasion check. But I'm trying to deceive her that it's not me doing it. I want her to think it's just like a greater than voice. This would be a deception check in that case, then. 14. 14. 14.

Looks back at you. And begins to walk towards you from across the room. Okay. With an aggressive lurch. As she steps, the ghost wood, you could only assume that make up the space, almost seemed to blacken with each of her footfalls. Now she approaches, the bones glow brighter and more angry.

The flame in her good socket burns more intensely and flickers up past the skull almost. What did you tell him? What are you talking about? What did I tell you? No, there's no need. There's no need. There's really no need for that. You just... I didn't tell him anything. I didn't tell him anything. I have no feelings for this man. I just...

You need to go in there, you know, get your little flare going in your body, the heat, and then just, like, have a nice time. I promise you. I... I... I... I, I'm... I can help you.

Make a persuasion check. Because of past failures, this is not going to be super easy. It will be for her. Come on. That would be a 30. Oh my god. Jeez. What? A 30. Oh my god! Jeez. What?! The intensity of the flame dies down for a moment as her aggressive, seething,

ready-to-strangle-the-life-out-of-you stance, her angry hunch that seems to have pushed you into the corner almost reverts. My head. The crossbow under the ground. She stands up a little straighter, clasps her hip to one side. Yes. Yes.

There's no hair. It's all just beneath the hood. Did the horns come out of the skull? She doesn't have a fire genasi. Yes, fire genasi. Oh, she has a fire genasi. Yes, fire genasi. You are a queen, and I want you to go in there, and I want you to go take what you want, okay? You're amazing. I am amazing.

You got this. Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Turns around. The rest of the crew has got up and is all on the side of the walls. It's a full-on crew hallway, just tensely holding their breath, even though they don't breathe. As she steps down the hall.

Put those hips into it. Steps up to the door. Ken? Come on, come on! The door opens. Fearne, I... Ooh! Celia.

Why are you? And her hand goes right onto the front of the captain's coat, and you can see flames up the bones. Oh. This is amazing. She's reaching down to the captain, clutching the front of the coat. You can see the air around her is shifting

from the heat that's emanating from her skeleton. Word is, you're looking for warmth? Maybe. Oh. I love that he's having to do both sides of this. I know. We're so invested. Captain.

Perhaps we stop dancing around our rooms and make a fire. Oh yeah. She pushes him into the room as the door closes behind her. Yeah! And we'll go to break. Yay!

You can't get stories like this anywhere else! Oh my god! They have a little happy dance! You guys did an amazing thing for this crew. We're basically two Wong Fu things for everything but for this show. So fucking great. I'm so happy about this. Minus my five minutes. Incredible.

It's fine. But you're going to get something else during break. And whatever else there is. That was like a 25 DC on that final, because all because of the failures, like the progressive mistrust that she was building. I was like, that's going to be a tough one. Fucking 30. I love it.

All right, well, we'll come back here in a few minutes and we'll pick up for where this journey takes us as we approach the island of Galutha. See you all in a few minutes. Amazing. We interrupt this Critical Role Podcast Network broadcast to bring you news of dangerous treasures that lie sealed within the Critical Role shops.

Only the heartiest of adventurers should dare seek them out. In all seriousness, though, I'm Matthew Mercer, and we've made some very cool things that we really like and hope you will, too. If you'd like to support the show, please consider visiting any of our Critical Role online shops through the Shop tab at critrole.com and see if anything catches your eye. Okay, back to the show. And welcome back. So, here, the final leg of your journey.

What did we just do? The mist's out before you. The captain goes unseen for a while. Wow, for a while? Is there steam coming out of the captain's quarters under the door? Do you want to go look? Yeah. Of course I do.

Good, because as you rush over there, so did the rest of the crew. What do you think? All of you just, I got five dollars, I got five dollars. Anybody got ten? Ten for that action? Two for one, two for one ounce. I want the dewits to get the fuck out of my way. There's a quiet period of time.

No, no, no. But indeed, here's the thing. It is very cold temperature in this ship, but indeed, steam begins to pour out from underneath the slight gap in the captain's pervert's doors. Wait, wait, wait, wait. And Celia, she was looking through portholes, right?

Oh! You can do a spider climb. Well? Well? I could look through Pat Tay. I can send him around. Didn't we do this in campaign two? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was on one of our own. I'm doing it again.

I'm telling Pat Tay to go invisible. Back all the classics. Hey, what am I supposed to do? Okay, there should be little porthole windows looking into this room, and I want you to go fly over there and look in. I'm going to look through your eyes, and I want to see what's, I want to see.

What am I supposed to be looking for? Full moon. The captain. In full moon. Boning. Boning. I'll give road a two-way. Go invisible! And look through his eyes. Look through his eyes and over the side of the ship,

off to the back end of it. There are no portholes. There is a large, almost like a gable, segmented window on the back of the captain's quarters. Look at the window. It's a square window. He attaches to the side and crawls over to it. It's like staring into a sauna.

You don't see anything, except for shapes moving occasionally through it and the steam shifting in place. You got the Kate Winslet hand. Yeah. A skeletal hand smearing down a non-smoldering one. Oh!

Oh, favorite. Wow, it's so steamy, literally steamy. You see figures. It's like looking at a burlesque performance in a shadow box. You need me to get closer in. Yes. Wow.

How would you do that? Do you see anything? I don't know. You're the person who tells me what to do. No, no, I think it's okay. I think it's good. Okay. I know! All the disappointment.

I know! But? Good work, Fearne. I mean, I feel so good. You know what? I feel like this is one of the best things you've ever done. You primed that pump. I did.

Yeah, I did prime that pump. Look at everybody, they're so happy. Chetney. Before we go, we have to make a little name tag for Kyle. That's important. Yeah. Yeah, I made fucking Kyle, right? That's what it said?

Which is, I was- It's Kyle, right? Yes, I'm Kyle, you fucking idiots, or whatever it was. And then, you know, which, no, your answers are correct. What'd you write? It says, I'm fucking Kyle. I'm fucking Kyle. Yeah. Is there a comma?

Are you? There's a G on the end of it, so I'm fucking Kyle, which could be taken a couple of ways. No, just two. I'll get to work. Two ways. Let's graph that sentence before we go. I just feel like we've just done wonders for this crew and this ship.

You know, we introduced them to a lovely new game. We gave, you were like a muse to the title. A tattoo artist. I feel changed, literally. A few burning lantern lights throughout the entire ship begin to shift from that dull pale white and blue into more of a soft orangish red color. Did we Pleasantville this ship?

He's back! I know! He's back! He's back! Oh my god! Oh my god! It just gets color. Either that or there's a new captain.

Great reference. You know what? Captain's getting peg-legged right now. This is a... Oh my god. Yo ho ho. Captain's getting... Wow.

Oh wow. This should be episode 69. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Nice. I just feel like this is probably our last night on the boat, so maybe we can like, We can drum.

We can... What if we have a little dance party on the deck? We like, you know, we just, maybe we can get out some of our fabrics and we can decorate a little bit. Maybe we can have some sort of feast. Maybe you can bake some ghost cookies. I still have those drug brownies.

We got the drug brownies! I don't think they can be. Ash can make lights. I can do that. Yeah, in theory, yeah. I just, you know, they've been such lovely hosts. They really have. And I feel like we've been so amazing to them that we should just have one final hoorah.

I love this. I love this. Look at all the good we're doing in the world. It really is amazing. It feels good to be effective, because the past several months, it's been a bit dire. It doesn't feel that way. No. Feels like zero control over our lives

and literally anything else. Yeah. I'll take that win. Yes. The steam has subsided enough that the crew goes, and they all start scattering, going about their business like they weren't paying attention and all crammed in this tiny hallway, listening for any possible signs.

And eventually, the door opens steam, pours out from the inside, and you watch as Cerulea exits, still standing tall, and walks across the room, picks up her crossbow, gives you a nod, and then steps back up the stairs with a gentle, confident waltz as the captain eventually emerges. Her coloration, her smolder has cooled a bit, and the veins that were once a bright burning red within her skeletal bones now sit at a gentle purple to almost a dull gray. As the captain emerges from the last bit of steam that rolls off, you can see the fiery blue flames that burn within his skull now themselves also have a purplish, cooler tint. And he himself stands with a bit of confidence and a bit of a limp.

SAM and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA and LAURA That was rough. Yes. That's fair. Ow. What the fuck? Crew, we're still on course. Keep to your business. Me and the navigator are very important meeting.

First back up on the deck. Wow. Holy dead. Wow. Holy crap. Wow. Wow. That was great. Love is love. Un-Lives changed right there. Not lives changed, obviously, but un-lives have been changed.

Matchmaking, it just feels really good. It feels really good. Ghost It's okay, you guys. Are we still in a tremendous amount of fog? Is it a marine layer day, night? It's late into the evening, probably early morning at this point, and it is extremely thick. As we've been journeying for days.

Did we sleep? Yeah, we just slept a bunch, but did we pass any other landmasses on the way? You haven't seen anything. You've put your hopes in with this crew, that they know where they're going and they're going to get you there, because all you've seen is maybe 20 to 30 feet

of mist beyond the outside of the ship. The hint of the waters that you can hear below, splashing in waves, crashing the occasional sea spray that hits over the ship, the hint of the waters that you can hear below splashing in waves, crashing the occasional sea spray that hits over the deck, but you cannot actually clearly see the surface of the ocean. But thankfully, the weather has been kind and there hasn't been any heavy storms that have blown past.

But kind of a nautical Silent Hill experience heading this leg of the journey. Do you rest for the evening? Any other business you wish to attend for the night? I mean, did you want a dance party? Tomorrow. I think we're done tomorrow. We're exiting the boat tomorrow.

Ooh. I'll take some time to reattune to the scythe. Okay, go for it. Turmoil and also the butcher's bib. to the scythe, turmoil, and also the butcher's bib. You got it. Do we have one more night, or is this like? It says two to three days of travel.

This is your second evening. So you assume some point tomorrow or late tomorrow, unless something else occurs that could lengthen it, you're likely to hit land tomorrow, is what you've been told. All right, so let's rest and we'll do... We'll rest maybe a breakfast brunch-y type of a party. Yeah, that sounds good.

Brunch. Okay. A brunch dance party. It's just dark and moody all the time, so you know. Sure. We can have a little light. Yeah. Like those gospel brunches. Okay. Fruity, scary skeleton.

All right, you all find your evening's rest. You can take your long rest. And as you awaken to your third and final day of this trek across the seas, the captain has a spring in his bony step. And walks below deck, blade sheathed, and greets all of you. Goldenboggin, looks like this will be

the end of your journey. Oh no, say it ain't so. We never get enough time. Oh, we still might need to get back. It's true. We're really good at locating things, too. It just feels like you're, you know, a little limited in your view.

Maybe we could keep an eye out for some of your other items that you're seeking, if you gave us a list. Oh, yeah. Maybe. I don't know if there's anywhere you're going, but you can certainly keep an eye out. End in here. But if you want return passage,

that's another deal to strike. Understood. Hey. Kind of looks over his shoulder at the crew that's not paying attention. But from the heart, I used to have. Stopping too bad having some guests on the board. You made friends.

Anyway, enough of that. You, where they livin', livers? Because you're livin'. It's been terrible having you on the shoot. I can't wait to be rid of you. Can't wait to leave. Really can't. I'm here, my god.

The flame winks. She's appropriately scared. Yep, very scared. How much time do you estimate? His flames flare for a second before they rescind. Oh, about four hours till we make landfall, Kallusha. Perfect, that's enough talking. Great.

We have a little surprise for cooking up, but I don't want to spoil anything. His blade pulls out and is at your throat. Oh, don't make surprises. Dude, oh my goodness, this is such an overreaction. Calm down, it's all good things. You can't threaten me, I'm not going to spoil it. I don't like how easily you dismiss my aggression.

But I respect it. That's... Very well. Surprise me. Oh. It's going to be great. Just everyone go in your room, go downstairs, and then we'll call when we're ready. And you don't look at the main deck area.

Just look forward or behind you. Are we going to decorate, too? Yes! We have to decorate, man. Paint? We have paint. Do we have some dead bodies still in the... No, we got rid of those. Bones and ghouls!

Our guests are preparing themselves some sort of a surprise. Why, what better idea? It's bad. It's over. So no one goes above deck, except you, of course, Riley. She's in the back, and goes like. continues going about their board business, but they're all also looking over at you as you're talking and trying to like,

the look of children that know you've hidden presence in the house somewhere, and they're hoping to figure out some way to spoil it. I'm going to set up a caricature station. Oh, okay. That's great. Where I take little flanks of wood and I do portraits for one bone each. But I'm going to really fuck up the proportions,

really make a mockery of all of them. It's going to be great. But in a fun way, not like in a... No promises. This might be our death. As long as you have like... Like a small head, very big body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or vice versa.

Or vice versa. Everybody's got freckles. See what we've got. Hold on. You're riding on skateboard. What are you doing? Eating ice cream. Yes.

I can't do lights. I've got dancing lights. That'll do it then. Okay, great. I can't do lots of my own things. I've got dancing nuts. That'll do it then. Okay, great. I can take some of my red ribbon. I've collected a lot of bones from dead corpses, and we can take some of that leftover fabric that we've stolen from the gods and stuff

and make little garland. I love ice. You can play instruments, right? Yes, I can. Well, because Frida did this thing where they were able to record audio and play it back. I might be able to do that myself. So if you played some sound,

I could take it and remix it. Oh no! Do you have to do this to make it happen? I can do it! What are you doing with your saw blade? Oh, the saw blade! The saw blade! Jiggy jiggy jiggy!

I love this idea so much. And what are you going to bake? Oh, I've already started. I've got four pot brownies. Not pot brownies, what is the drug that I have in my inventory? It's the all- Hold on, I've got it here. I just wrote down drugs. Yeah.

Is it all mines burn stuff? It's all mines burn stuff. Oh, you don't want to do... No, that might be a bad idea. You don't want those. They're dead! They're dead! That could get weird.

We'll do small bits. We'll do small bits get weird. Nobody eats those brownies. We'll do small bits. No, nobody. Nobody eats those brownies. It could get weird. Right. It could get weird. We could give fantasy drunk brownies to a bunch of dead pirates. That might get weird. Are you going to put them out on display?

Like on a platter? Oh, sure. Yeah, I'll need a platter or something. Is it all mines burn stuff, or do we have some left after this? I don't know how much you gave me, but I put in an appropriate amount for four brownies. Okay.

I'm going to use Seedling to send a vine from the mast to the railing to make a limbo vine. Oh no! Solid. Wait, they can't eat, right? I don't know, but maybe, I don't know how drugs work. Who knows? It's okay.

You wouldn't think they could shtup either, but that worked out. That's true. I don't know how that worked. I can't do that. What will you add to this rave experience? I'm making little banners out of bones. Banners, bones. And my ribbon and the fabric.

Also contributed. And Aeogen, do you have a thing? I'm doing dancing lights. Oh, you're doing the dancing lights. I'm doing rave lights, but I could, if I could set up as a fortune teller or something and just read their minds and try to give them fortunes. Oh my god.

I think we got some stuff. We got some stuff in the hole for this. Clearly there'll be a Rollies tailing. There's clearly a Rollies tailing. Clearly. Classic. Can have bedding. Do we have surprises?

What's in the hole? What's in the hole? Yeah, there's a lot of, other than cooking supplies and food. Is it still corpses? No, we threw them over. You put them over to see, yeah. What a shame. We have clothing and fucking...

I have a disguise kit so I could do face painting. Yes. Fuck's sake. Right, maybe they could get caricatures and face painting. I have lots of things that I could give out for prizes. It's more of a relief. It's a relief. Oh my gosh, you do.

You have so many prizes. I really have lots of things I could give out for prizes. It's more of a relief. It's a relief. Oh my gosh, you do. You have so many prizes. I really have lots of things I could give out for prizes. Yeah, so just in case. All right. All right, we get to work. After a brief bit of work, I'd say it takes you all together about a good solid hour, hour and a half to get to the point where you're comfortable

and ready to present. And with the musical remix that you've... I'll take out my dulcimer and then my pan flute, but have it like how people have like, like how people have Bob Dylan with his harmonica, but I have it with my pan flute, so I can just like. And I tap it.

Words on my thing. Words on my thing. Like, move far? Yeah. And I'm just your, I'm loop pedals for you. So you can loop one sound and then loop another sound. This is great. Wawa pedal. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. That makes me feel good.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Pfft. All righty. And the crew begins to ascend to the deck one by one. The banners you've placed and decorated around brings a bit of vibrancy and life to a long dead, long stalking image of forever torture and endless fear upon the high seas

of the Shattered Teeth. There's still bones dangling from each of them. Tales and songs that have long spoke of bloodshed and torment on the blackened waves, the promise of death and desolation bloodshed and torment on the blackened waves, the promise of death and desolation from the long-cursed and ever-hungry crew of the Crimson Abyss is now a quinceañera!

And one by one, these spectral skeleton crew step on with toothy grins. Give us some dance music, Matt. Give us some bokeh lighting. I need it. Yeah, my dance and lights are a mix of colors. Yes. It's not just like... Bokeh lighting?

I have some celebration tavern music in right now. It's a little low. One by one, they begin to pick up a bit of a jaunty step to their feet. Some begin to line up and prepare themselves for the limbo. Others begin to chat. You notice after a while that no one's really gone towards the brownies yet.

Oh, they don't want to eat. Maybe I'll pass the hors d'oeuvres. No, turn back. I have an interesting idea. I'm going to try something. I'm going to go in and get my flask of truly, intensely noxious whiskey that I have, and I'm going to open it up and it's like,

I know no one can drink, but if you want to take a whiff and remember the good times, it is sitting right here. You set it there, and some of the crew looks over at each other, and you see Kyle in the back goes, Oh, good. Oh, yeah, no. No, Kyle, no. You can spell the brownies. Smell the brownies.

Order? Oh wait, maybe not! No, no, no, no, no, shit! Put it back, put it back. Just a tiny nibble. It's okay, Kyle. You're so young, Kyle. No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay.

No, FCG, no. What? It's fine. No, no. Don, no, FCG, no. What? It's fine. No, no. Don't give in. Don't let him give in. He's sober. Just go ahead and do the limbo. Do the limbo, do the limbo. Get his paper. Wait, wait, wait.

Straight edge? We have a present for you. Okay. We actually have a present just for you. It was an attic. Oh, oh yeah. No, this is. Why, they got a present for Kyle!

And he goes, you said my name. Oh. Oh, him! I thought the other Kyle! Laughter goes about. That's Bean! That's Bean, his name is Kyle. You guys know this.

Kyle, this is from all of us, with love and admiration, and also so you can get some damn respect. I did the best I could on the opposite side of the page. It says, I'm Kyle, you fucks. There it is. I hand it to him. It's got a little bit of black trim on the paint

and then a red background with white in the letters. Beautiful. Oh my goodness, this is so nice. Yeah, and I also give him a little character painting that has him standing on top of Bruda and Vandalo, and it says Boss on his shirt. You see that? My name's Coil, you fucks!

Yeah! That's all you need. Get that alpha. I actually love it. Oh, I greatly appreciate that. Thank you, thank you. And I appreciate that you made those, but I think I'll pass as well.

Good for you, Fy'al. Good for you. He goes over and tears a bit of material off of his side hang, a short coat that he's wearing, puts it around these nails that he puts to the back and wears it on his neck, the name tag, like a door sign.

Yes. You've made a difference. Look at that. Ghost with commitment. Other members begin to reach out. You see Sanjay, the musician, reach out and grab one of the brownies and go, and just tumbles through.

And you go, Cookie. You know it's going to be a full-cooked monster. Very good. Thank you. I'm glad at him. Cookie! You know it's going to be a full Cookie Monster. Very good. Thank you. I'm glad you like it. I call that out. It's not good.

It's not good. Others try and follow suit, and some of them chew a bit, and then it tumbles through again, and they're all like, . That's very nice of them. I think they're really stoned.

That's great. The captain just sits at the very, very front of the ship, kneeling in the classic pirate pose, just holding his blade in his hand and looking out past the mists, and occasionally glancing up towards the crow's nest. Then you can see Cirillia is up there leaning over, occasionally looking down at him.

And then pulling out and reaching over to the side and going, uh-oh. Goddamn it. I thought the sex would have sufficed. Uh-oh. Oh no. You can see him looking down at the captain and that intensity immediately deflates.

Oh, you lucky bastard. I'm going to go over to Laudna and grab her hands. There's not any pirates dancing yet. So I'm going to go out into the middle of the ship and start dancing and spinning around. You can see as the music begins to swell and fill the silent stillness of the morning mists,

some of the skeletons watching, you hear this clack, clack, clack, clack. One of them's not even realizing that his leg is catching the beat and looks over at Sanjay, and Sanjay pulls out his fiddle, and Megan's fiddling with it. And you can see some more of them.

Megan will also hit their knees a bit. And then eventually some of them start jumping into a jig, and they start whirling into a spinning array of very base dances. They're not trained dancers. It looks very rough, but it makes this fun cacophony of clattered bones hitting at joints and edges of the ship. It sounds like a really slow rain stick at times.

Orym gathers up the shyest skeletons that are not dancing and starts to run a cardio, ballet, breakdancing class in the corner and run through some moves. Odo and Vandalo definitely begin to pay attention and try and engage him with that. I give it to Ashton. How's this for your mutiny?

This is everything I could have ever wanted more. Fantastic. This is fucking perfection. The first mate goes, All right, everyone! So we're going to land out shortly! Right? You see this really, like,

Ah, yes, right. The captain turns around. All right, all you sorry lot. I need you all to stop your revelry now. The music immediately comes to a halt and all the pirates stop. It gets cold and quiet, the wind blowing through. They all begin to slowly approach

and encircle your troop. Closing around, the captain, blade still out, dragging on the wood as he steps from the bow of the ship to approach as well. No. You've all been privy to a singular experience. Something not even I could have foreseen. seen. If any of you tells a single soul that you've danced with the crew of the Crimson Abyss, your bloodlines will be on my list as well. There was no dancing. There was no laughter.

There was no limbo. Orym subtly retracts the vine into a seedling. You were scared the entire time. Terrifying. So scared. The threats will haunt you till the end of your days. And if anybody crosses our path, they won't be as lucky. Right?

All right, all right. That's a tale too tall to tell. Right? All right, all right. That's a tale too tall to tell. I honestly say I screamed for over a day. Great, all right, fantastic. Thank you all so much for coming. This has been an unexpected, memorable experience.

Now, unfortunately, we're at your destination. Oh, oh. We've kept a bar into the bargain, as have you. And then some. Kind of gives a wink over to you. So, can't get too close to shore with the ship, necessarily, so we might get a bit damp on the way down,

but shallow enough to swim and walk. Might be a bit chilly. One more thing, one more thing. Thank you. Now go. Quick! Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

I walk over and I just hand the last caricature to the captain. If he unrolls it, it's him draped over. It's really a strider dolphin jumping through the ocean and shooting a crossbow through a big heart. No! Yes. Shuts it immediately, puts it in his mouth. Oh, so terrifying!

Thank you for lighting a slip! It's a fine likeness. Thank you. His blue flames, now purple flames, burn bright. Carry on the echoes of the terrible dangers you've seen here. Spread the word that all shall fear our crew.

Can we keep the balance? Of course. Oh my gosh. I'm so honored. Great. Go, go, go! All right, all right, all right. Hopefully we see you again. Was there anything you. Great, go, go, shoot, shoot, shoot. Hopefully we see you again. Was there anything you wanted to just keep an eye out for? Oryna?

Oh, right. Anything, no. Oh, and he goes and retrieves a small folded up piece of tanned leather and like, here's a few that might be within your grasp. The others I'm enjoying hot war. Pass the tea.

The sword, the sword. No? Okay. Just when you're done with it. I thought I was going to catch you off guard. When you're done with it, you know how to talk. When I'm done with it, I'll bring it back. Thank you, Thank you.

I give it one to Cerulea. I got it! Are we just jumping in the water? Yeah. The whole crew is gathering as you're jumping off on my wand, like, good boy, good boy, good boy! Hi, good boy, that's fun. Cerulea steps down as you're about to leap

and touches your shoulder. Hey, I just wanted to say thank you. I think I've been a bit too shy for two of them. Been a... Listen, we all have those times, you know? Sometimes you just need... A shit stirrer. Yeah, a shit stirrer and a little fire under your ass.

I take her hand, her bony hand, and I give it a kiss. You're lovely. It burns your lips just a little bit, but not in a way that you don't like it. Yeah. Have fun. I think I will.

Bye now. As you all leap down into the freezing cold waters. Ha! Take off your fucking heels. Oh god. It doesn't take too long for your feet to finally catch an under-the-water, pebbled beach surface,

and you begin to go from not knowing which way is up to eventually discovering what would be the edge of the coastline. As quickly as you all catch your breath and get your bearings, you turn back and the ship is gone. Get the fuck out. How's that possible? That was awesome.

Did it really happen? Was it all a dream? Yes, it absolutely happened. We're missing a bunch of stuff that we left there for their party, I guarantee you. There's nothing in this hole anymore. Rub my sore ass cheek where the bell tattoo is. It happened, baby. Do our tattoos look normal

now that the ghost shape has gone away? Okay, that's a good point. Wrong plate and heels was it. Yeah. The area's still red and irritated from the fresh tattooing. The ink, while not perfect for the job, was functionally applied.

Could use maybe a touch-up in a few months. Probably not very good that we jump in the ocean right afterwards, but. It stinks a lot. The water's good. For the next artist to try. My carving is absolutely perfect. Yeah. Looks great. Thank you.

You all eventually begin to step out of the waters onto the black pebbled beach. I'm so sorry. What is your first sight of the island of Calutha? Calutha! We here. Calutha, Calutha. This mist. Jesus fucker.

This misframed lagoon that you step into is buttressed by and leads up into a tall, steep cliff face of dark basalt columns of endless hexagonal patterns that rise up in wildly uniform striations at varying heights. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Patches of vibrant yellow and green vegetation

spring from breaks in the cliff and break up the graphite coloration of the island rock itself. Rolling waves as you look down now and get a sense of the coloration, a bright teal ocean water that is perfectly clear and flows up onto this beach. Here within the lagoon,

the only way to reach this beach would have to be by ship or by swimming, but it is very rocky and dangerous beyond this lagoon itself. You get the sense ships would only really be chairing. You're not sure if many do, but you all step out and kind of shake off a water you can, a bit waterlogged from the sea salt.

And the cliff that's before you is about 80 to 100 feet tall. The long, thin, almost continuous striation stretches of that hexagonal basalt pattern leave some semblance of climbability, though you're uncertain at what angle the steepness is this far below.

At a quick glance, Orym, looking around this beach, you can see there are signs of what may have been a campsite or some sort of a place where some tent and or fire had been set up. You can see there's some driftwood that's just come up under the shore and it's been slowly sinking into the Black Pebbled Beach, but you can see there are some elements of structure

that have collapsed and almost like hanging strips of canvas that has just been weathered by time in the elements. How close to the water? About 15 feet in. The beach itself is about 35, 40 feet of a lagoon before it reaches the base of the Basalt Cliff. I wouldn't think, being close to the ocean, that something could last too long,

but how old does it seem? Why don't you make an investigation check. Yes, I will do that. Not good at this. 30. 18. 18. The tide looks like it doesn't come close enough to pull this away into the ocean.

In fact, looking at the shape of how the beach is set, it's not too far. It's about halfway to high tide. And at full tide, the beach would probably come close to, but not up to where that site was. From what you can see, the way it's weathered, might be a few years old. Any personal effects lying about or in it? From what you can see, no.

It's mainly just a forgotten structure that just eventually collapsed to time and disuse. What you do see, however, in this lagoon as well, is there are two openings to the basalt cliff now that you've approached, and the mist pulls away a little further in proximity. You can see there's one cavern about 10, 15 or so feet in diameter at the base of the lagoon.

There's another one about the same size. It's about 40 feet up the cliff. Find all that out. Like caves? It looks like a cave. Looks like caves, yeah. Like natural lava tubes that emerge at this point. Bless you. Insanity.

That's what he's you up, dog. That sneeze. Oh yeah, dog, that was a good hit. That was a good hit. Wow, never seen her sneeze and only part of her come back. That was... Going hard.

Your shirt came up. Hey, shit, I hope you weren't a crop top. I shirt came up. It did. My hair cropped up. I don't know. You fucking with those brownies? I know. Just eating my head. So there's caves, but we're looking for the tree, right? Right. Yeah.

But maybe the, I don't know. I just want to peek into the cave. And where we are, there's no accessing, like there's no going around to find other parts of the island? Is this walled? You can if you want to peek into the cave. And where we are, there's no accessing, like there's no going around to find other parts of the island? Is this sort of like walled? You can if you want to, but you're not sure. Everything else is just seaside cliffs

that are at the same height, if not higher. You just got dropped at this lagoon that breaks in and it's the one beachable area here, but that also ends at cliffs that climb up for about 80 to 100 feet. Ashton? Lower high. Anything seem familiar? Oh yeah.

I don't know. I'm going to walk up towards the cliffs near where the, are the two caverns almost parallel, or are there a little? No, they're offset. Yeah. How high up is the second one? Second one's about 40 feet up.

I'm going to sit down and try and dig my hands in and just try and breathe and get quiet, if that's even possible. Okay. You breathe for a bit. You sense your essence. Both of your essences, really, since you are a being in conflict at all times. You feel that buzzing in your head,

and you feel that perpetual drum-like vibration that sits in your chest of your elemental nature. This place is new to you. You can't shake the sense that there's something oddly familiar about it. You know you've never seen it, but you still feel compelled by it,

and you don't know why. I don't know. We're in the right place. You okay? Yeah. This is... This is right. Good. This is very right. Let's check out these caverns.

Do we want to try and get up there? I don't know. One low, one high. It's the same batte for a quick scout. Oh yeah. Not a bad idea. Save us the climb. New beach, new spot. Can I grab a hand scoop of pebbles and sand,

and also is there any wood, driftwood, or otherwise lying around? There are a number of chunks of driftwood. Some of it looks like it. Some of it looks like jungle tree some of it looks like jungle tree that may have fallen off a cliff and has since been stripped and blanched with time. There are other pieces that may have belonged to a boat,

but have since been rounded and smoothed by the elements and warped. From both back of hold. There you go. And both. Back of hold. Big. And some pebbles. Okay. You're sending Pate? I'll make him go invisible again.

All right, you got it. All right, try that top cave up there first. Be quiet. Go ahead and make a perception check for Pat's head. It's, whoa, do I? No, you don't do that. D-Guide. D-Guide.

Can I look for a pretty seashell? A tail. Are there any pretty seashells on it? Actually, not all right. Make an investigation check. Investigation perception, your hand's an option. Is it my perception through him? Oh! I always get my hands.

It's his perception. He has darkvision. 23. 23. The pebbles here range from dime-sized to twice the size of a grain of sand. It's not quite a full sand texture. It is like a pebble beach. Pulverized stone and shell.

Exactly. And because of that nature and the water that comes out, you get the sense that a lot of shells don't survive and eventually get ground down into dust or calcium and then are lost to the waters. But you do find one shell that looks like it was sturdy enough and it survived, at least in recent times. It looks like it was once a hermit crab shell

that was abandoned, and the outside looks like bright white bleached bone, but the inside of it is this beautiful rainbow-like pearlescence. The smooth interior that, even just looking in with light, is beautiful, and if it were to be bisected and polished, it could be an all manner of beautiful keepsakes. What's your paper color?

18. 18. Nice. As he flies up to the upper cavern, there is a... I always forget what your pronunciation of this is. Sigl. Pitten. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, like a...

Yeah, climbing materials that are driven into the rock. You can see there's two of them at the base. Elements of an old rusted chain that hangs to one of them. The other one looks fresher, less rusted, but still withered with time. It looks like people have climbed up and utilized this cavern.

Okay, but in the cavern. He goes into the cavern as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks around. This winds a bit and seems to curl a bit, probably about a good 80 or so feet back. Then it comes to a fork, like a spherical chamber,

like an airburst of this lava tube, where it's pitch black in here, but it looks like there's also a pile of refuse or some sort of other materials of leftover encampment that have since been abandoned. It's hard to make out too many details in here. And there are two other tunnels that branch off in upward directions out of sight.

Go left. Okay. Flies down that and it curves for another 120 or so feet. At some point, it seems to dip and then it shoots up. Then steadily, light begins to show. And then eventually, how long does the distance go for the? I feel like it's like 500 feet or something like that. I feel like it's 2,000 feet.

Frumpkin's was. Was what? A million, I think. Oh, is it? It's far, right? It's far enough. Forever feet. Um. Forever feet. Oh, it's right? It's far enough. Forever feet. Um. Oh, it's 100 feet to deliver a spell, but.

Pipe for the change. I want to be forever feet. I thought you'd been better. I'm surprised. That's a pretty show. I think it's a pretty decent distance and it's not going far enough to break it. Okay.

But eventually emerges from the shadow into a little more of the daylight. Nespate emerges from this tunnel. The mist-covered island surface presents itself. You can see from his perspective as he adjusts, the mists aren't as strong in a southeastern direction from where he is. You can see this dense, beautiful jungle

that tangles through, opens in places, and the basalt rock almost punches through in columns at odd angles in different places. Some of them stretch really far and bend and form almost odd arches and land bridges that punch through the top of the jungle and arc over, some of them ending prematurely, like a bridge to nowhere that just drops off dozens of feet above the jungle canopy, giving this very alien landscape vibe to it. As the mist takes the jungle, you can make out the barest shapes of its texture.

Roll a perception check for Pâté for me. Come on, come on, Pâté. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. 11. 11. And that's the extent of what he can see from his position. All right.

It's pretty good, though. We definitely go right. Best time he's ever had. Going to go right. I relay all of that. Looks like it's a little lava tube or a cave. I didn't catch any type of predators or monsters, but not to say they're not in there. But it'll get us up.

But it could get us up in there. Unless we want to try and see what this ground-level cave is. I'm already walking towards the ground-level cave, just looking into it, and put my hand on the wall. And, as imprimordial, I'm just going to say, I'm here.

I'm looking for you. And I'm just going to slowly start walking, just taking a look in the lower cave. Okay. You watch as Ashton vanishes into the shadow of the lower cavern. I'm not going to let him go on. Ashton's gone.

I'll trail behind 15 or 20 feet. You walk about 35 or so feet, as it does a left, slow turn before you reach the end of this cavern. It widens slightly into maybe a 20-foot width, and you can sense the moisture that gathers and occasionally drops from the inside of this cavern. But it is a,

it's just the end of a cave. Interesting. Here, the pebbled beach sands begin to give way to rougher basalt volcanic rock, as well as crumbled elements of dust. And you do see signs of another encampment here, also long abandoned. This one's in a little better state than the previous one.

You can see two tents, one of which has somewhat fallen against the cave side. You can see some scorch marks of where a fire once sat. But it looks like this was also used as a shelter by a person or people. Any identifiers of who might have been there? Make an investigation check. This'll go great.

Always does. I'll help you. Oh, thank you. Your investigation is possibly better than mine, but I'll call it over. Yeah, that's fine. Different from perception. Oh, then. Hey, actually, okay.

That's 17. 17, not bad. You do find a handful of tools, some that are broken. Will look like things for either building or repairing. Hammer, crowbar. Sharpening, like a whetstone, for whether it be weapons or a bladed instrument that'd be used for cutting or shaping.

You can see there's a flint present, probably like you used in starting the fire. But no other signs of life or movement. There's no bodies. There's no signs of a struggle or a fight. Just whoever used it moved on. I grab anything that looks like it's still usable. Okay. I know it's old. Yeah, so you have a flint and steel,

you have a hammer, whetstone. Mm. Chet might be able to use that whetstone. This is odd. I mean, how many encampments here? One on the beach. For some reason, they didn't use the cave.

One in the cave. I don't know. Are they together or are they apart? I don't know. Actually, I will say with what you rolled, too, the construction of the cavern encampment and what you saw on the beach appear to be of different materials and designs.

Okay. Multiple attempts. That's something. Maybe different people trying to come and find this tree? Yeah. If we wanted to get to the upper cavern, do we fly or climb? Is it climbable with a hexagonal column?

It's only 40 feet out. It's climbable. We could definitely get out there. It's not extremely easy. And it has the pitons. Piton. Piton. We just need a rope. We must have a rope, right? We got to have a rope.

Okay. Should we go up or just go up? Just go back. Oh, it. Okay. Should we go up or just? I'm going to come back. Oh, yes. Yes. Ghost on back and emerges. Whee! Returns to you.

Is there anything else in the cavern down below that we need to investigate? Any? No, just some tools. Chet, do you need a whetstone? No, I'm always sharp. Oh, boy. I said that on my list.

It's okay. I thought you were going to say something. Were there two caves on the bottom? Just one, and it was another 40 feet up. Mm-hmm. Other than that, the only other way is to go around in the weird. To either swim around in, there's jagged rocks,

which you can swim past, but it's its own danger depending on when the tide's going in or it's coming out. You're not sure. Coming in or going out. I'm climbing, I'm climbing hexagonal columns. All right, make an athletics check for me. I'm going to climb 10 feet and then just misty step up the rest of the way.

Okay. Make an athletics check for me. Athletics? Yeah. 11. 11? You get stuck about 20 feet up. You get to a point where you grab onto one column and you step up, and where your foot and handholds are,

you're able to sustain your height, but there's nothing to grab and pull within your grasp at the moment, and you're there. Help! Come on, young blood! Is there anywhere I can tie off a rope in here? You appear up at the blue pebbles. Yeah, I mean, they're the-

All right, I'm going to tie off an end of the rope and then drop it down. Thank you. You need some help? Yep, yep. Okay. After you poof up there and drop the rope down, and how long is the rope? Was it 50 feet of rope?

Yes. Yeah, then with that, the rope dangles down to the base of the beach, and each of you can make your path up the side of the cliff. For that, let's just go ahead and make, for those who haven't rolled yet, a group athletics check.

Because of the rope, it is a super low DC. This is a 10 across the board. So coming across here. I somehow got a one. Oh no. Okay. Fearne? 14. 14, all righty. Athletics.

Three. All righty. Three. 13. What the fuck? That tracks. 14. All living hell. Okay, and what did you roll for your original one?

Hand just stays in the room. I didn't roll because I was running. I said roll for the 10 feet climb to go up there. That is so embarrassing. And that's in athletics? Yes. Six. What? We started out so well. Oh boy.

Oh, we have a rope. The slick mists that have made the surface of this cliff a bit precarious, combined with the realization of this cliff a bit precarious, combined with the realization that the cliff face is not something you climb at a gradual incline, it is actually outward. And you're climbing. Decline.

It's a decline from where you're heading upward, and it is a difficult hold. The rope just hangs down, and it's less of you using the cliff to get up there, and more having to use your whole body to just climb a rope, which is not easy for all of you. Some of us. You get there.

But for those of you that rolled under a 10, you take a point of exhaustion. Oh! Darn! For 10 feet? For 10? Darn! Actually, no, because you teleport. I mean, you used your spell, so you're fine, but everyone else did the full climb.

Can I spider climb? You can if you want to. Instead. Once I realize how hard it is, yeah, I'll spider climb. This is hard. Okay, back, back. This is for your sword, Dread Captain. Oh yeah, sorry, mine again. Mine, Fezzerwitch. I'm sorry. I tried.

I was going to steal the flag, but that felt a little scary and rude. All righty. You all eventually, carefully, some of you, a little tiredly, come to the mouth of the cave, and you see the smooth lava tube interior of this cavern as it begins to snake inward, deeper into the cliff face and head towards where you saw.

Are we going to the left? So the left, we know, goes up and out. Unless we want to be exploratory. I could check out the right. Yeah, why not? Push report back at darkvision. I'll be back in a second. You're going alone?

And I'm smelling as I go in. Okay. Go ahead and make a perception check for me. Fuck! That's not terrible. 12. 12, okay. As you skitter into the cavern, heading down the snaking hallway, the smell gets a little, I can say sweeter. Ooh! Like there's almost like a... There's like a citrus, like a grapefruit or citrus-type smell.

Oh, jackpot. It fills the cavern itself. You come to the large spherical chamber that branches off into the multiple paths, and you can see there's that pile of the old encampment or so in the center. You have darkvision as a gnome, right? So glance around, you see the pile,

you see the two different tunnels that snake off. What do you want to do? Does this come to the same place? Is this a middle spot? I don't know. This is where it forks. Oh. This is the forky. Forks left and right. Okay. Oh, the OG fork.

The OG fork. Yeah, there's a spherical chamber where now two of the tunnels break off. Okay, that's where you go. That's where I want to go, right. Because Bratia went left. We all join him in the spherical thing. Okay. All right. So in the spherical thing. Okay.

All right, so you dart through and head over. That sweet smell is extremely strong as you head through the center of this space. Citrusy, but not decay-y, right? Yeah, like fermented. Ah! As you move through the center of the chamber, that hint of fermented putrescens

underlines it ever so faintly. You're like, it's not bad. It's for scavengers. It is a swan song of- It's a college mini-fridge. So we're all in this chamber now, or is it just- It's just him. He ran off. Let's see if you guys are following.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. You head over towards the right entryway and hear this ever so faint sound of some rocks moving. And a the sound of a thousand metallic armor scales just gently brushing against rock.

I freeze and go invisible. But if it's doing this, then it's probably also doing that. Uh-huh, uh-huh. You stand there for a second, holding your breath frozen in place here in the lightless chamber, as that weird slithering sound gets louder. And you see, out of the right-hand corner of your eye,

something large slither past you. I mean, about four or five feet in diameter, about that wide in places, but it's tapered towards the front. And you can see at the front of it, it looks like a worm of a very thick hide. As it moves, you immediately clock that sound you're hearing is the texture of its hide

gripping the rocks and pushing itself along. As it moves around and seems to curl around on itself, almost forming a loop and a knot around its own body, you realize it's encircling you. The hunter becomes the hunted. I reach quietly into my bag of holding. Take out the Horn of Silent Love.

Make a sleight of hand check for me. Oh my god. Oh my goodness. Natural 20. Yes! We all hear that he's like, Oh fuck, yeah. So do you need to see the individuals for that horn

or just think of them? That's a good question. I'm trying to remember how this works. Yes, yes, yes, thank you. I've only used it in seriousness once. Horn of Silent Alarm. Four charges, use an action to blow one creature you can hear the horn.

600 feet of the horn and not deafened. Of my choice. Yeah, so yeah. So you, who do you pick? Just one person or? One creature, right? Yeah, one creature. I you, who do you pick? Just one person or? One creature, right? Yeah, one creature. I'll send it to Imogen. Imogen, you hear the horn just blasting into your head.

You all right? Chet's in trouble. Oh no! Well, damn shame. As you stand there, the horn's still in your hand, that slithering sound, you see it's formless. There's no legs. It's just moved around and almost knotted into itself

and the front of this odd... Sicilian is the term for these creatures that have no... Sicilian. Spelled differently. Inevitable. Are you sure? Inevitable. You you sure? Inevitable. You watch as the front of it

that you saw sneaking formless seems to unfold a bit. As it unfolds, these two heads pump out. No eyes, but you see these mandibles that are tucked in at the front of each of them as they both and they're looking in your direction. They know you're there. They're just pinpointing, playing. You're not sure.

What are the rest of you doing? We're heading in. we're running in. Yeah, like full force or are we going stealthy? We're just going to run in. What do we do? You doubled over in pain and said Chetney's in trouble. Yeah. I start running.

Yeah, I would run in and start going. Okay. I got Spider Climb up, so I'm going to skitter along the walls. You got it. Mage Armor as I'm heading. As we go, I'm going to just tap Ashton on the back and give him a, what do you call it?

Spare the dying? No, that's not it. Death Ward. Death Ward? Death Ward. You got it. Don't die. This is your thing. Mirror image.

All right, you all go. I'm also going to give Ashton a slap and give him some guidance. For the next minute. him some guidance for the. Sure, yeah. Guidance. The next minute. Just doing it for a slap. All right, did Mister out or are you leaving Mister? Did Mister out or are you leaving?

Yes, Mister is out. All right. You all go charging down this tunnel quickly. You hear the sounds of the footfalls and your friends rapidly approaching. One of the heads, and the mandible's. You see as the mandible's opened slightly, and the inside, it's just this cylindrical rows of teeth

that vanish into it. And that head vault looks off, the other one's still training on you. SAM and LAURA, in your own way. How far away from these heads of happiness am I? 10 feet. I'm going to learn from my past mistakes How far away from these heads of happiness am I? 10 feet. I'm going to learn from my past mistakes and I'm going to cover my mouth

and bonus action, hybrid transformation into a werewolf. I'm like. Roll a stealth check for me. Ah!. SAM and LAURA laugh. Cool. Roll a stealth check for me. Oh man. Oh, oh, oh, 19! 19. 19?

Double up time. Oh my god. You. . I can hear the. Yep. And at the last minute, you go. And both heads immediately back to you.

Mandibles open up, and I need you to roll initiative. This combat is brought to you by WizKids Minis. Gather the Crown Keepers as they travel the lands of Tal'Dorei. From friendly contests on the rooftops of Emon to traveling the rife and mist jungles, capture some of your favorite moments with this band of misfits in miniature form. There's a nest!

There it is. That's a pile of stuff in there. And many more Critical Role miniatures at whizkids.io slash crminis, or your local game store. Do we all roll initiative or just chat right now? All of you will. Also, my minis are not at the table. Oh no! No!

Your minis were stolen by WizzKids. I'll use the popcorn kernels for now. WizzKids.io slash CRMinis to replace your stolen minis. Now put them together. They might be up here. Oh, I hear running. Yeah. This little one. They're be up here. Oh, I hear running. Yeah. This little one?

La la la la la! See your minis! All right. That WizKids.io slash see our minis. You'll never lose yours if you get them at your local ginseng. I should have looked for those before. We started tonight, that's on me.

It'll help. Well, in the interim. They are going to get something. Should we go through initiatives? Yeah, give me. We could use, we could use. I need my minis. I don't know where they are.

I've got two hands. You've got an FCG. We've got a third hand. We've got an FCG right here. We've got an action, we can do this. Everybody offer. We can also just go get them. We've got a Laudna book.

This could be Laudna. It says Laudna on it. Well, in the interim, regardless, let's go ahead and do initiative over there. So... Okay. 25 to 20. Natural 20 gets me to 25. Damn!

Natural 20 gets me to 23. Oh yeah, look at you both. All right, 20 to 15? 18. Okay, so it's Orym. Ashton, Fearne. 15 to 10? 12!

13. Okay. 12. Patrick is hunting down the last two. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Hey, look at that. Ah, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Hey, look at that! A well-oiled machine.

That's weird, because you had that one that you were showing me earlier. That was not part of those. It was the player minis, that was the last one. So you all are back in this chamber here. We're far. Not that far. That's not terrible.

I've got a wheel! You're back a bit that far. That's not terrible. I've got a wheel. You're back a bit that way. I would have taken off running as soon as I heard the. Same. Yeah. Yeah. But Ashton also has a faster running speed. Okay.

I'll fast. Ashton's better than I am. Yeah, well, yes. Just in general. All right, so Chetney and then FCG? Yes. That was 50 to 10. And then, correct.

Ammo. Ammo. I got six. Mojin. Nine. Oh no. Who got nine? Me. 69. Nice.

Nice. Nice. So last two are? I'm last. Nice. Nice. Nice. So the last two are? I'm last. Oh. Okay, well, until it shows up, I'm going to say this is you. Oh, that's good.

That's great. It's close enough for now. Why does it have three heads? Two heads? The mini has three, but it has two. Oh god, okay, just two for now. You bastard. Yeah. Best I could find that orb for what I needed.

So. I don't even have a orb in the mini at the moment. Oh my god. You can use my Ruidus Dive. That's fine. This is the worst episode. This is on me. You want to use Sprinkle. Oh yeah, that's the right side.

Use Sprinkle. Oh, that's good. There we go. Sprinkle it is. on me. You want to use Sprinkle. Oh yeah, that's the right size. Use Sprinkle. Oh, that's good. There we go. Sprinkle it is. Kill me. I am on my back. All right. Aw, I missed him. All right.

He's so cute. I frustrate hell. I'll use my back there. I'll use this ring to add Slunna. There we go. Yay for proxying. All right, so, Orym, you're up first. I just run, run all out,

and I'll use my action to dash. All right, so. So 60 feet. Why have you avoided me, eternal sleep? Watch me go! There you are. Fuck, that's so go! There you are. That's so good. There you are. All right, finishing your word, go.

Ashton, you're up. I'll run 40 feet, and then I will see what I'm going to see. Okay, Roger. Roger! Sasha A. Sasha A. How much? 40 feet? 40 feet would be here.

Okay, can I see what the, I can get a view of that then. Do you have darkvision? Actually, no, I don't think I do. Do you have darkvision? I don't think so. Both of you go running into pitch black darkness and you have no idea where you are. As you're running, you're bumping into the walls

and having to push past. I have faith in emo gen. Yeah. Alison, grab that. Open that up and bring him in. Grab and open. Oh wow, we're opening a new set. Dragonbat literally brought to you by a group of kids. Literally brought to you by WizKids.

I don't know. I don't either. It'll work. It'll work fine. I have fear. That's good, that's good. I'm just not going to show the back. This is why we have money, that's on me. Yeah, I'm going to run in. I'm going to rage, I suppose.

Let's see what the fuck is going on. Put your arm in here. Maybe that'll be just enough light to have a vague idea of what the fuck's going on. Cool. No, that doesn't cause even the slightest bit of light. You're so slow. Come at you, you're like.

There is Urum, great. How far, well, I can't see anything yet, can I? I found a fuck. Oh, he said, I found a fuck. All right, there you go. Oh, Sprinkles! He's fine. Treat him with respect.

His lips are worse. He just biffs it. Put me back under the ground. Thank you, crew, you's fine. His lips are worse. He just biffs it. I broke my back onto the ground. Thank you, crew, you're amazing. Thank you. All right. I've hit a rage, but no one can see it anyway, so there's no, yeah, it hasn't changed anything.

It doesn't give off light? No, it's one of the ones that does not give off light. All right, so you rush in there. You don't hear anything, and it's just darkness, and you have no idea what's happening. So you go into a rage, and you still have your action. Oh, I'm going to use my action to start moving around the wall.

To my love. You don't know there's a wall there because you can't see anything. Oh, okay, I thought I would. So I'm going to say from this point, as you- Oh, it's my action? You've moved through the tunnel and felt your way through, rushing into darkness,

and now you're here. You can move forward, but I'm going to say it's difficult terrain. Okay, I'm just going to, since it opens up and you don't know where it is. Come through and open up about 20 feet. All right. To the bitty's left, so.

Left here? Yeah, to there. There? Okay, all right. Finishing your go, Fearne, you're up with Chet on deck. All right, I have a 35-foot movement speed, so I'm going to run up as far as I can go. 30, 35, 40 puts you there. You're still in this tunnel.

Do you have darkvision? No. You're also feeling against the walls with no light source. Um. Would I be able to cast daylight? Yeah. Just try to push it in there and try,

whatever I think is the ceiling, try to just push something forward? Yeah. Okay. Cast it. I'll say, from this standpoint, you, feeling through, there's a little bit of flame of Mister as he approaches that gives enough light to show you that this tunnel opens up into a room

and you don't know what's in that room. Okay. And so you just? I just throw up daylight. Throw daylight into that space. The room suddenly brightens up as if it was mid-afternoon in the center of this darkened chamber. And the three of you can immediately see

this large, coilediled worm-like creature that is tangled into itself and closed off part of the exit for the now wovenly transformed Chetney. You see two of these extended heads without eyes, mandibles snapping, and at the end of the tail, a massive, weird-looking, curved stinger that seems to whip behind it as it does. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

So that's your action and your movement? That is my action and my movement, and Mister is going to throw some flaming shit. How far can he move? He can move. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. 30 feet. 30 feet, he gets about there.

Oh. He can make the attack. What's the range on it? 60 feet. 60 feet. Let's see if it's in range. That's close, that's close. He throws it and it arcs. Landing on the ground before it even reaches the creature.

I love it. That's fine. Continue to burn. The smolder's important. Okay. All right, that finishes your go. Yes. All right, finishing burn's go. Chetney, you're up with FCG on deck.

It's FCG on deck. Holy shit! It's FCG on deck. I'll take the Turmoil cane out and utter the word, You done! And it'll unfurl into a scythe. I'll use my bonus action to slice it up my quad and flames erupt along the blade. And I will take a swipe at the approach and take a swipe at the heads.

Go for it. That's a 28 to hit for the first strike, natural 18. 18 does hit. Come on, Butcher's Blade. No, a dirty 20 on the second one. Both of those hit. Okay, great. I should roll the Crimson Rite. That's two points of damage for me, but that adds two, and this is four. One.

Ten. Twelve points of damage for the first one. Two of those are flame. Good to know. And then nine points of damage on the first one. Two of those are flame. Good to know. Then nine points of damage on the second one, too, also. Great. You carve twice into this creature, these large gash marks opening across its thick, slithering, almost now you can see somewhat shiny hide. It has a viscous excretion that surrounds the exterior of its body.

As you cut, its blood sprays outward and you prepare yourself with a grin of like, okay, if it bleeds, we can kill it. What's that burning sensation? You take 12 points of acid damage. Oh! Just from it splattering on me? Oh, wow. You're not sure if it's the blood or whatever it secretes, but each time you struck it, you of acid damage. Just from it splattering on me? Oh, wow.

You're not sure if it's the blood or whatever it secretes, but each time you struck it, you took acid damage. Acid damage, okay. Okay. Keep away. Good to know, good to know. By the way, I lived after the log rest. Good to know.

All right, finishing your turn. Chetna, you done? Cholesterol, done! Drop is dead of a hard one. FCG, you're up. I need to retcon that I died 30 feet ago. Okay. How many days do we travel? I think I will start by rolling 30 feet, as far as I can roll.

It's not very far. 30, I get you right behind Fearne. You have no view of the inside of the chamber from here. As far as I can roll, it's not very far. 30, I get you right behind Fearne. You have no view of the inside of the chamber from here. You just see light coming through, and you watch Fearne cast the spell, and Mister throw this flaming turd into a chamber that you have no particular view on,

but you know you hear combat happening in there. Can I, boy, I don't know, I've never done this spell before, but can I activate the Staff of Dark Odyssey with one charge and use Misty Step to bonus action step into this room I've never been into before? Yeah, you can.

Misty die. You should do it. You. You take damage every time you use that spell. You do? Yeah, you take damage every time you use that spell. 1d4, I think, for? Each charge spent. Okay.

I take three points of damage. Yeah, we're not scared! Now that I can see what's going on in here, oh my god. Boy, it's far. I'm going to to use my action to sympathetically bind myself to Chetney, Ashton, and whoever else is near me.

Orym. Orym, yes. All right, so Chetney, Ashton, Orym, you're all sympathetically bound to FCG. We're in this together! Want some pot brownies? All right, that finishes your go. Can you add four additional hit points? I only rolled one d6.

Oh yeah, got it. I just rolled. Thanks. You got it. All right, cool. It is now the Basalt Sicilian's turn. The creature now, seeing the others appearing, the bright light, not affecting it, it has no eyes, but it seems to notice the arrival and the footfalls of your companions.

It slithers around this way, back onto the top of its mound there. It's going to take two jagged mandible attacks. Is that a nest of bones? It looks like it. Oh god. Let's see, if it's full, we'll get there. It's about 10 foot range. There you go.

One head lashes out at you, the other's going to go for FCG. Against you, a natural one. Oh, thank goodness. As you've gashed it with the scythe before, it tries to lash out towards you and your scythe is already in the place and instead it bites the blade of your scythe

and you just pull it free. As it uses its momentum, it whips around, the other mandibles are going to strike towards you, FCG. No! That is going to be a 20 to hit. Yes! All right. You...

Take on me. Come on, take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. 22 points, take on me. Take me on. I'll take on you. 22 points of slashing damage. Oh! Plus seven points of acid damage. Oh wait, why?

Oh, man. Okay. And it's going to use its Extend Stomach effect. Extend stomach? So the two heads that are snatching, you see where the two of them meet, something, almost like an opening, opens up between that fork.

Hot pocket. It seems like the middle of its body seems to swell for a second, and then suddenly, this mass of pale, colorless, white, almost capillary-like flesh extends and stretches out. Oh, that's fucking terrible. I've seen those creatures before. That is fucking awful.

In a 30-foot. They are so, so creepy. Like a gecko's tongue or something? No, it protrudes out of the worm and it does. It looks like capillaries. It looks like they extend. I've seen those, too. They can't see, they just sort of like.

Yeah! You know those little rubber doll toys, you squeeze them and the eyes go. Yeah. I feel like I need to look it up. Yeah, you really do. We should look it up. It's Ashton, FCG, and Orym.

I need you all to make a dexterity saving throw for me. Okay, okay. Me too? No, not you. Okay. This is when we should have used... You all just rolled a bunch of natural 20s. Oh, not with Guidance, right? Not yet.

No, I have, what is Guidance? You do have Guidance, F3-4. It's an extra d4? Yeah, extra d4, you also have? Bomb, Slick Shimmer. Yeah, yeah, no, I've got that word. Cleansing Flare. It's actually F3-4. Yeah, F3-4, you also have? Bum, slick shimmer. Yeah, yeah, no, I've got that word. Cleansing. I'm going to spend a superiority die

and use Zephron Heart to add to my low roll. This is dex? Dex. Save. 14. 14, you take 34 points of acid damage. 34? Whoa.

Uh-huh. Your maximum hit points are reduced by 10. Oh shit! Whoa, Matt! Hey, hey, buddy! You're also pulled 10 feet to it as the stomach extension wraps around you and seems to begin the digestion process

and yanks you as it pulls all of its extended stomach back into that hole. It's pulling all of you in that area towards it. So you get so far away from it. 17. 17, that's a success. You take half the damage. I said it was 34.

34, you take 16 points of acid damage and you're not pulled. 16. I just sent you guys a link. 16 just barely makes it. So you also take 16 points of acid damage and you are not pulled. Oh my god. sent you guys a link. 16 just barely makes it. You also take 16 points of acid damage and you are not pulled. Oh my god. Five feet towards it

or 10 feet towards it? He was pulled 10 feet towards it. 10 feet. But he only had 10 feet to go. Okay. Yeah, I've done it. That's disgusting. He's in it? He's in it? Why would you do that?

He's not in it. He's just brought to it. What the fuck is that? That's going to finish its turn. Laudna, you're up. Imogen, you're on deck. Oh, I'm up. Okay, okay, okay. Guys? That's awful. I love nature. Isn't that disgusting? I hate it.

I hate it. Why is that shit on the outside? Why does it exist? Yeah, it's taking its energy. Does it go back in? It's like a shark that can vomit out its stomach and then suck it back in. It doesn't feel as gross for some reason.

Yeah, it's this. I'm climbing against the wall. It's a little wall. Hug to this side, up. 30, I'll put you about there. 30, can I see it now? We're on this bend. I've got dark vision. If you drop down, you can see it from the ceiling.

The opening, it doesn't give you enough of a view to actually see it from the inside, but if you drop to the ground, you'll be able to see it. Okay, I'll do that. You guys, you drop right in front of Fearne, off the wall. I am not. Now you can see it over there, and you watch as that extended capillary network

of its organ has already been placed out, and then withdraws back in. FCG gets dragged along with it. Ah! Ah! Dude, what the hell? What the hell is correct? I'm going to go ahead and bonus action.

Oh, I guess you also would have noticed, too, the wounds that you left on it seem to be in the process of sealing themselves up. Oh no, the wounds are starting to self-heal a little. Here's a line. I'm sick of this dude. I got stuff for that. I don't like him. I got stuff for that. Let me turn you on deck.

How high are the ceilings in here? In this room, about 20, 25 feet. Not terribly high. Okay. I'll go ahead and bonus action. Hexen? Actually no, I said it's somewhat spherical, so it'd be closer to 30, 40 feet. Okay. And the creature is how big?

It's more of a dome, I guess you would say, or an egg shape. And how big is the creature? The creature, I mean, it takes up a four by four square, but it's like 80, 90 feet long, just coiled up. Huge. Huge. Huge. Huge. Do I want to do that?

No, I don't do that. Not right now, not yet. I will go ahead and bonus action Form a Dread. Okay. I'll roll my 10. Balls, Matt! That real quick. Seven, eight, okay, 10.

All right, and then I will, if you don't want to turn it, I can't. Okay, I will... If you don't want to do it anyway, I can't. Okay. I will Chill Touch it. Okay. Are you rolling to attack on that, or is it a dex save or constitution save from him? I...

On a hit, I rolled a hit. Okay, go for it. Okay, sorry, sorry. Come on, dice. Ooh, 17? 17 just hits. Ooh! Okay.

Let's get a no, 17, this is AC. Two, six damage, six necrotic damage. So not great, but it cannot regain hit points. Until the end of its next turn? Until the end of its next turn. That's good to know. All righty. Oh boy. Solid.

All right, as the Chill Touch image shifts out as you extend your claw and it digs its way into its body, you can see the wounds that were closing almost seem to freeze over with magical ice and are no longer healing. Nice. Is that your turn? That's my turn.

All right, finishing up your go. Imogen, you're up with Orym on deck. Okay. Laura Bailey. Okay. LaBat. I am going to... Oh, I'm going to come forward, so I'm close.

25, 30 gets you right next to where Fearne is. Okay. And Laudna. And that's within 90 feet of it. It is. It does have, from where you're standing, half cover because of the nature of the cavern there. I can't regain hit points until the start of my next turn. Gotcha. That's how it works.

Good enough. So nice. Okay. Okay. I am going to reach my hand out, and from the ground, it's going to start shaking and breaking open, and these giant tendrils of dark energy are going to reach up and around the creature,

and I'm going to cast Hungry Torrent. All right. Hungry what? That's a concentration? This is a concentration. And what's the size of the radius? It's a 20-foot sphere. All right.

A 20-foot square? 20-foot square? Yeah. Hungry, excuse me? Hungry Tor Yeah. Hungry, excuse me? Hungry tauren. Hungry, hungry tauren. Open up in the records. Oh, wow. There we go.

We'll put this right about there, so it doesn't hit you. Okay, great. There we go. All right, and what does that have to roll? When a creature enters the area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, it has to roll a dexterity save.

Cool, we'll come to that on its turn. Great. Nice. These dark energy tendrils of a deep reddish-purple rise up, and you can see as they shift, it's not organic, they almost glitch and shift with the magical energy and these flashes of almost like an arcane electricity that mingles with this atmospheric dark smoke

that swirls around them. That finish your turn? All righty. That brings us to Orym with Ashlyn on deck. Man, this thing is disgusting as shit. I'll hop up onto that little divider there, 510. Right here? Yes, and I will slash seedling to the air twice

and cut the air and slice it from a distance. Go for it. Natural 20. Woo-hoo! And that's balls. That is a 13, so that doesn't hit. Second one doesn't hit, but the first one is dead on with a crit.

And I'm going to make it a goading attack. Sure. Six and six is 12, plus the bonus. I thought everybody would be keeping distance. Okay, but I thought people would be keeping distance. That's why I did it. So 14 dice rolled goes up to 28. 28 damage. Nice.

No, that's not right. That's not right. That's not all the dice. It's six, so 14 plus... It's 20. 20 total is what that is. 20 total? Okay. 20 points of damage on that crit strike. And? Crit strike. Crit strike. And it's a wisdom save?

Goading attack, DC, yes, wisdom. 15. It got a 15? You got a 15. Fail. All right, so yeah, so any attack that doesn't include you is a disadvantage. Yeah, and I think I'm going to use, with my boots, I'm just going to spring to that column there

and go another 10 to 15, and I think I have five more feet to jump behind it. Over here? Back, out of view. Hard to get to and keep that disadvantage up. Except for that crevasse. Crevasse! You got it.

All right, Ashton, you're up with Fearne on deck. All right, I see what's going on here, so I'm going to keep running towards me. I'm going to get a little distance and then back up. Not quite into the corner, but one to the right. Yeah, right back there. Yeah. I've got a good line of sight on this thing,

and I'm going to take the little- Move up against the wall. Against the wall, which you can see very clearly through the hole in my head. Yeah. So I'm just going to figure out the right line. I'm going to take the hammer. I'm going to give it a nice, good throw,

and it's going to hit him right behind his head. Oh, he's got space. He takes his massive hammer and swings it and releases it, it just vanishes in the air, and the creature all of a sudden behind it, the hammer pops out of nowhere as a small wormhole opens and it emerges with an arc. Go ahead and roll for the attack.

Natural 20. Ooh! Nice! Let's go! That's, yeah, this is going to be fun. So just knowing, double-strike, that means all attacks against this creature are made with advantage until the start of my next turn.

Nice! All attacks? All attacks against this, yeah, hold on. Say it again. It's a disadvantage and we're at advantage? Attack rolls against that creature are made with advantage until the start of your next turn. Yeah! Nice!

So now I'm going to... Come on, come on, come on. This motherfucker, what have I got? Matt, you're going to be a fan. That's fun. He has to roll with some saving shots. I forgot about that. Actually, God, I'm just going to do math.

Natural 19. Okay. 38 points of damage. Woo-hoo! Some of that force damage. No worries, thank you. Catching back. That went rather well. I'm going to take another angle

and I'm going to throw another one. Go for it. I'm going to hit him over in a slightly different thing coming, apparently, from the roof. All right. God, we're everywhere. It's almost like you see him swing and nothing. It disappears, then he catches on the other side, and then swings and it vanishes,

and it comes down from the top towards the creature. Good luck. Come on, come on, no whammies. Oh, actually, I have advantage, don't I? You do now. That was cocked. Kick. That was kicked. For his 24. 24 hits, card roll damage. All right, I'm taking that.

Not quite as good, that's fine. 22 points of damage. Nice! Nice. Wow. All righty. 56 points of damage. That's awesome. Barbarian.

You remember, Josh. Trying not to talk, trying not to breathe. I'm so proud. All right, does that finish your turn? That's my turn. All right, does that finish your turn? That's my turn. All right, so, that's a layer action. Uh-oh. Layer action?

No! The creature, which is currently now starting to freak out a bit, you watch as it lifts its heads up and its mandibles open, and they seem to chatter, but no sound comes out. Shit. Oh no! Are you thinking about this?

Even for my wolf ears hear nothing? For your wolf ears, you hear this very faint, high-pitched, horrid, shrilling sound. This piercing sound. Did you hear that? Probably. It's coming out of the bathtub. A bunch of unseen little pods in the ceiling

just begin popping as tiny little larval things fall from the ground. It's a nightmare, yes, it's a nightmare. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time. Everyone within the room, they hit and just impact and burst. So everyone in the room takes...

Now there's so many holes up there. Four points of acid damage. Everybody takes four points of acid damage? Who's in the room, which would be Orym, Ashton, FCG, and Chetney. Got it. That brings us to Fearne with Chetney on deck. I have to remember about yourself.

This gives me the willies. Okay. I'm going to try to stay in cover back there, but I want to be able to throw some Scorching Marisha Rays. Okay. Now mind you, if you're in cover, he's in cover as well, so he has half cover, which means he gets plus two to his armor class

against any of your attack rolls. So if you want to move out of cover to do it, that would be good. Yeah, I'll move out of cover to do it. I'll move out of cover to do it, that would be good. Yeah, I'll move out of cover to do it. I'll move out of cover to do it. Five, 10, 15, 20. We'll get you about there. Perfect. And then I can always pop back in.

You have advantage on the attacks. Okay, great. So advantage on all three? Let me see the ability again, just to check. That makes sense. Anything that can make advantage on dexterity checks. Dexterity checks? Yeah.

I can double check it. Saves, saves. This is from the, oh, it's from your crusher, right? I believe so. Wesley. Pulling it up. No, I actually have Brutal Critical,

which I haven't written down, so that would be another d6, that's okay. I was going to say, Critical, you need to do another d6. Yeah, but that's okay. No worries, we'll go to it later. But yeah, these are with advantage, then. All three? Okay, great. You can look up what the source

of that critical ability is, just so I have that. Yeah, try to find it. First hit. First hit. First hit is 23. 23 hits. Okay. It's not, it's Crusher. When you score the critical hit that deals bludgeoning damage to a creature, which I did,

attack rolls against that creature are made with advantage until the start of your next turn. That's what I thought, that's great. All right. 25. 25 hits, yeah. Fuck yeah. That's awesome. That's a count. Got to remember that I have 26.

Yeah, 27. All right, so that's three hits. That's 6d6 fire damage. 6d6 fire damage. Plus I get my extra d8 because of Mr. Zan. Okay. Okay. Wow, that's a lot of wands. Damn it.

19, 18. Can you remember the next 26? You can roll it. I don't understand how it works. Does it get doubled or no? It's just a two-digit number. I rolled it and landed on a seven! I know, right out there, I rolled a, I didn't know how to do it.

Okay, wait. What did I say? Oh yeah, 18, 18, 20. 20, 20 points of damage. Wow, that's great. All three rays blast on the side of it, lighting up the room even more. You see the body sem chemistry and the mandibles

chatter and pull away from its weird, unheard screeching sound, almost recoiling from the flame, not knowing where the source is, as both heads are looking around for what's making the sound or making the motion. That's your action and 20 feet of your movement. Okay, I'm going to tuck back in.

All right, how much more movement do you have? I have 35 feet, so. So you can move, let's see, 10. The space you would go is currently taken by Laudna, but you can pull back, which still gives you half cover from it there. Great, all right. Mister is going to shoot some shit.

Okay. Literally. Literally. Now, the guy also, he still has half cover, unless Mister wants to move out of the room. Mister can move out a little bit. And I'll let him go actually a little bit forward. Yeah, he can be out there. And we...

Get it, Mister! Go get it! Come on! Come on! Just my big boy! Doves fly, slow motion. He gets advantage, too. All attacks.

Okay, amazing. 25 to hit. That hits. Okay, let's go. Doing a little teethies. Teeths! Teeth. Thank you. Okay. Seven points of damage.

Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage. All righty. You finish your turn, Fearne? That's my turn. Jutton, you're up. FCG, you're on deck. Oh my god. Can I move towards the other doorway and I'll just get underneath the arch

and from there, I will send, I will expend the Shatter spell from the scythe. You got it. At him. As you rear back and you swing the scythe upward, you watch as the shockwave, like a blade of force power, coasts along the ground. Very anime shockwave blast that cuts and detonates across the backside of this creature.

Some rocks flying everywhere. Oh, it's just area effect, there's nothing to hit. Okay, so 4d8. detonates across the backside of this creature. ROCKS FLYING EVERYWHERE IN THE TREES. ROCKS FLYING EVERYWHERE IN THE TREES. ROCKS FLYING EVERYWHERE IN THE TREES. Oh, it's a staring effect. There's nothing to hit. Okay, so 4d8. He gets a constitution saving throw? He does. That is going to be 17. Yes, he makes a save.

4d8. He's not faster with all the status effects. 9, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18. 18 points of thunder damage. You got it. Looks like it's sending a big, creamy poo. Poo. And with my bonus action,

can I cast Blood Curse, Bloated Agony on him? Yes, you can. So you go ahead and. Consider yourself cursed with a Blood Curse. All right. That means he has a disadvantage on strength and dex checks. Correct. If he makes more than one attack,

he'll take 1d8 necrotic, that's my turn. Got it, all right, cool. Finishing your go. FCG, you're up. Actually, can I amplify it? Yeah, you can. Two points. So that's one minute, so it'll last for a minute.

But you can make the con save every time. No worries. Nice. I think I am in a dangerous situation. So... Unnecessary abbreviation. I am in a dangerous situation. So. A necessary abbreviation. I will. Nobody's around it, right? Just you at the moment. Just me.

Okay, I will use another bonus action. If I use the staff, that's not a spell. The staff's casting a spell. Still, you considered casting a spell through the staff, so's not a spell. The staff's casting a spell. It's still you considered casting a spell through the staff, so it does count against your spell. Your one spell per turn. But I want to cast more than one spell per turn. Yeah, I know.

That would be really cool. Yeah, it would be that cool. Hmm. Well, poop, then. If I stay here, it will kill me. If I run away, it will swipe at me and kill me. I could use my stuff to get away from it, but then I wouldn't be able to do anything on my turn.

This is the conundrum with the dungeons and the dragons. It's quite the conundrum. Welcome to cleric life. It'd be good to have you alive. I know, I know. I guess I will use my, I will use that same thing I just did, Misty Step, and I'll bonus action Misty Step away from it.

Which direction do you want to go? Just away from other people. It can probably still get to me, but like, I don't know, if I go back in the hallway, we're all bunched up there, that's bad. What if I go that way? All right, so five, 10, 15, 20. All by yourself. 25, 30, can Misty Step there if you want to?

Maybe. Yep, sure. You take 1d4 points of damage from the staff. It's blind if you don't make any noise, then. 1d4 points of damage from the staff. It's blind if you don't make any noise, then. That's one point of damage. All right. It won't even know you're there.

Yeah, there's no sound to that. You shift over there and the creature doesn't seem to have followed you. Or at least where its attentive mandibles are. Having a very bad day. Then I can shoot at it, but then it'll know where I am and it won't cause any damage. So I guess I'll just use my action to hide.

You can buff other people. There are options. I can't. It's all bonus action buffs. Oh, okay. Let me see here. And I can't cast a spell either. Oh, well, there you are. I'm done. I'll hide. Roll a stealth check for me.

Okay. Do I get advantage? 16, that's it, 16. 16, so your version of stealth up here is landing and just holding as still as you possibly can. Perfect, all right, finishing your go, it is now the Sicilian's turn. It only sees movement.

Beginning of its turn, it is affected by your torrent. Yes. What does it save? Dexterity? Dexterity's saved. All righty. That is going to be a 25. Wow. Guess it's a little dexterous. Natural 19, sorry. Wow. So it, wow.

So it still takes half damage. Indeed. What else does that do? Well, it doesn't do shit if he saves. Gotcha. So five points of psychic damage. All righty. No, of lightning damage.

Got you. So the tendrils whip around. So there's outpass. Let's see if it does get it back. Okay. It will slither out this way. Oh.

For. Is it fully out of the? It is not. Okay. And is that magical effect a hazard for everybody? Actually, first for everybody. Well, yes, it is. It's going to slither up

since you're moved over to that side. Can we go in, or just if you can? If you go in, if you enter it. I mean, it's been here a bunch of times since I moved. I know, but it felt where you moved. It moves forward first to try and move for where you would be, but there's nothing there. So it just keeps shifting over in your direction.

So I'm going to make two jagged mandible attacks against you, which are at disadvantage because of your goading attack. So the first one. This is how we do it in Sicily. Goddamn it. First one's 16. That misses, I just stay perfectly still.

It slashes out and hits the rock behind you. You said it wasn't spelled the same, but I spelled it Sicilian. I get it. Yeah, I get it, too. When I checked the pronunciation, I was like, please don't be Sicilian, and it was, and I was like, all right. All right.

Where's the gobbledygook? That's going to be a 22 on the side. Hence, I'm going to use Erratic Defense. Okay, two. I'm going to... One. I'm going to use one. So, let's see. The attack damage is halved

and you have resistance against the attack. In addition, the attacker is pushed 30 feet directly away from you by the force of the attack. Yes! Towards me! Boom! Go back into the tentacles. I'll take my hit. You just clubbed a massive millipede

against a cavern wall. 22 points of slashing damage. Is that before or after reduction? That is before reduction. Okay. Reduced to 11, then reduced to five. Mm-hmm. Oh, you weren't dead.

And then 13 points of acid damage. Reduced to six, reduced to three. So eight points of damage. Yes. Well, you have reduction because of your... Is the reduction part of that from your rage? No, none of that. What's happening, your resistance?

Okay, no, it's not. That's not what the resistance, so it's four points. Well. No. No, but you already have resistance against it. Oh yeah. But it does give you resistance against the acid, so that's good to know. And 30 feet away? So that should be, yeah, 30 feet directly away from me,

like the big graviton. Just slams into the wall there. Is it still in the? Yeah, it's still in. It is. It has a lot of movement. It's going to shift over this way. All the blasts are, and it's going to and extend its stomach into the tunnel

where all the blasts have been coming from on that side. Witches! All of you. In that room, including Mister. Those bitches be witches! I need you all to make dexterity saving throws for me. Roll for Ashley. Does my mirror image work against Ashley? I'll roll for Ashley.

No, you don't get to roll for Ashley. I'm going to roll her weird dice that never get a dexterity saving throw. You don't get to, well, it's a 17. Hey, I rolled a 17! This is going to be bad. Okay. 10.

36 points of acid damage. Dang! Oh! Dang! 20. You take... Roll a dexterity save, unless you want to use the 17. 17 points of acid damage. Is this how it would have?

Sorry. You get a roll. I roll a dexterity. Dexterity. 18. Or is that 18? Sorry, 18 points of acid damage for you. 18? What'd you tell me, 17? Yeah.

Eight. Just went to Nero there. Okay, 36 points of acid damage. Oh, okay. Both Laudna and Fearne, your maximum hit points are reduced by 10 for the time being. Okay, okay.

And both of you, as the stomach extends out, it pulls you both out of the chamber and into range with it there. Oh shit. Roll for Mister as well. Oh yeah. Okay. Mister. Mister, Mister, Mister Dex.

Who does it follow on the initiative? It follows? Oh, FCG. Got it. And then Laudna, Imogen. Wyrm. Wait, how do I know what his dex is? Can he hear or does he sense?

I think it's, yeah. I think it's hearing. How many hit points does he have? A little bit. 60? Tremor. Oh, good. Oh, maybe tremor. How do I know his dex? It should be in his stat sheet.

No. It's just whatever his dex modifier is. That's right. I know. I remember that. That's okay. 16. 16. Just succeeds, so he takes 18 points of acid damage

and is not pulled. All righty. That's going to finish that turn there. Laudna, you're up with Imogen on deck. I'm not grappled, right? I can get away? Yeah, not grappled. It just pulled you all towards it. Okay.

Gross. I am going to blight him. Blight, all righty. Constitution save? Blight him! Yeah. Natural one. Oh yeah!

Okay. AD8. That's a lot of the eight. It's a lot of the eight and it's a 10. Did he make more than one attack on his turn? He didn't, so he takes it. How many did he do total? Was it two attacks or three?

It was two attacks. Okay, so just one. That's great. Two pierces against me and then the stomach. Extended stomach is technically a third attack. You see that. 15 points of damage. They're crotic, if you bet.

No, 31. Yep, 31, and then it's up to you. Two more. Damn. Yeah, that's great. So wait, that was 31. This one is 39. 45 blight damage. Woo!

That's necrotic, right? Necrotic. All right. Is that good or bad? Seems to be good. As you reach out and grasp your arm into it. I'm wrapped, since it wrapped its stomach around me, I just grip it for a minute and blight its stomach. You watch as the bright white, colorless,

pale extension of its internals that you've grasped go from blanched white to a deep, sickly black green. It's almost like you extend your own essence through into it, and as you do, you watch as both the heads pull back and shake mandibles wide open, and immediately withdraws it from the inside before it lands, and you can see the heads

looking a bit panicked. And then I'm going to quicken the spell. Does that make a save against your spell? Yes. Wisdom. That is going to quicken a spell. Does that have to make a save against your spell? Yes. Wisdom. That is going to be a 12. Fail, so he is afraid of me. He is very much frightened,

and the creature is looking very spooked and very like... You get the sense it's starting to curl up and it's starting to try and find some sort of egress. And then once again, I'm going to slam my hand into the wall and I'm going to quicken a spell and do Chill Touch again. Nice. And the bone nest from under it's hand forms

out of the bone nest and smashes it in its head. Go ahead and roll for an attack. 18, very close. Great. We should have advantage on this, right? Because of Ashton. Ooh, that's right. Still a bad. Just in case I get a nat 20. Oh, nat 20!

Oh shit! Just in case. Sure. Always wrong to say you're nice. I watched that shit happen in real time. I usually don't have that good of a view of the dice box to watch that shit. That was time. I usually don't have that good of a view of the dice box to watch that shit. That was awesome. That's so funny.

I will keep this dice roll because it's good. So that's 20 damage. 20 points of damage. 20. 20! And then I still have my spider climb up, so I'm going to skitter up on the wall and hang upside down and just panic for a slight second.

All righty. So you're up on the ceiling-ish in this area. Yeah, tucked if I can hide from it a little bit, I guess. Just do camp. Oh god. Oh yeah. Okay, that's my turn. All righty, finishing your go. Laudna, that puts us at Imogen, and then Orym.

Right as Laudna skitters up, I'm going to step right in where Laudna had been standing. I put my hands on the side of my head and shoot forward a lance with such force that all my hair shoots forward and my dress shoots forward, too. That's awesome. So yeah, a psychic lance.

I see three shots from different angles as you quietly scream. That's an intelligent saving throw. Intelligent saving throw. This creature, not intelligent. It rolled really high. Natural 17. Minus five to a 12. Nice.

Wow, minus five. I'm glad I didn't do that other spell then. I wouldn't have been able to do it. It's a worm. Yeah, it is not an intelligent creature. Great, so that's 7d6 damage. Woo! And it is incapacitated.

Oh, nice. What does that mean? Like, it's just there? I can't move or take an action. Oh, okay. Big money, big money. 23. Oh, okay. 23, that's okay.

12. That's huge. Yeah, it can't move, can't speak, and is unaware of its surroundings. Wow. Unaware of its surroundings. 25. Unaware of its surroundings. 25. We can just leave. Yeah, we can just move on. That's unconscious.

Sorry, incapacitated. That was a different thing, I looked up there. So incapacitated. Is that on a beat? Can't move, can dance. It can take actions or reactions, that's it. So you can still move. Oh, okay. So I looked it up, and the first thing was like,

unconscious, and I'm like, no, that's too much. See, I just can't take actions or reactions. I can still move. But only away from you. Does that mean that layer actions can happen? Layer actions are separate from the creature's actual action. I don't think it's the layer doing it.

How long does that last, your turn? That lasts until the start of my next turn. Awesome. All right, does that finish your turn? That's 25 points of psychic damage. 25 points? Woo! It's looking rough.

All righty. I will... It has to move away from her, right? It can't move towards me. Can't move closer. Does that mean it's going to step into the... Is it already still in the... It is still within your radius, yes. Okay, great.

It is so large that it has been unable to leave it based on its placement in this room. Great, then I will... Oh, did you roll concentration, by the way, from the damage you took? Oh. On its turn? Yeah. Just to see if it maintains. Yeah, I'm great.

Okay, good. I will Quicken a spell, and right afterwards, I'm going to hit it with a Mind Sliver as well. Dude. Mind Sliver the cantrip? Yes. You got it. Yes. Roll the natural two to resist against your curse,

by the way, so it's still there. Okay. So that's 2d6 if it fails, an intelligence saving throw again. I'm sure it'll be fine. That is a negative two. Passing. So one additional 36.

Seven more points of psychic damage. You got it, all righty. So finish turn. And subtract 1d4 from the next saving throw you make. That's good to know, all righty. I'll go ahead and mark that here to be at the ready. All right, that finishes Mijin's go. Are you going to move or are you going to stay put?

Can't take any reactions, so. I'll step back, then. Okay. You move up there and you'll be fine. All right, cool. One D4 from the next save. Orym, you're up. Ashton, you're on deck. Okay. So I'm going to leap up to the top of that column

with my boots. See the thing looks flailing about or? It's flailing and looks like it's trying, looks like it's getting ready to run. Uh-oh. Okay. It's weird, you've never seen a massive worm creature look scared, but you can feel its instinctual fight or flight is kicked in

and it's leaning more on the flight. But we don't know where it's going to go, and I don't know that it's been afeared. I'm going to spring on top of it and start stabbing it. All right. Right. So, on it. On it.

All righty. Take the damage. Is it acid damage, Orym? Is it sploogian acid out of every pore? Yes. Good. Yes, it is. Pore sploogian. And it's at advantage because of your...

Sploogian. Okay. And it's advantage because of your... Okay. So that's a 29. That definitely hits. I'll make a goading attack just so I can give it damage. 10 plus. That's 15 total. And it has to make a wisdom save.

15. Which would be nine minus four, so that is a five. Okay, so. Big failure. Anyway, just wanted to get that in there, and I will... Do I have enough movement to fall off between it and the wall there? Here you can. Yeah.

Yeah, you can do that. Okay. And then I'm going to look for... That was your one attack, right? That was one. Right, looking for a vital spot. I'm going to wait until its head whips around. As soon as I see one of its large circular mouths come, stab right into it.

You do take six acid damage. Okay. Strike with the first blow, and as you carve through, you get splashed with some of its... You're not sure if it's the blood or just the secretion that surrounds its body, but it burns into your skin as it hits you. That's a 20 to hit.

20 hits? Okay. I'm going to make a pushing attack. Okay. You take nine points of acid damage. All right. That's a 12. That's 18 total damage that time. And it has to make a strength save now versus 17.

Minus a d4. Well, it's for the whole next turn or just for the next one? Oh, he only did it once. Yeah, he already did it for the last one. So that would be a 21. Oh, I'm totally examined. Are you rolling with advantage for your skill? Yes.

No, I'll action surge. Okay. Hold on, let me just make sure I don't lose track of daughter sweating. And one more time, I'm going to make a pushing attack again. So this is at advantage. That's a 26 to hit. 26 definitely hits.

You take nine points of acid damage. Oh, okay, 11 plus... Oh, that's 14 points of damage. It has to make that strength save one more time. Indeed. Disadvantage. With disadvantage, right? Blow the dagger. Yeah. What's that? Ability checks, not saves.

Oh yeah, just dex and strength checks, you're right. Correct. That would be, I would put it at 16? Fails. Pushes him 15 feet into the Imogen's mess in the middle. Yass! So I'm a little guy, but I stab it right in the middle of that circle of teeth

to wound it and get it to draw back. Which is what it does. You hit in just a place where this thing has not been making any noise internally. All of its sounds, it seems to be emitting are probably beyond your hearing in just borderline years. This strike is the first time you all hear like this recoiling guttural screech

as it pulls back and slithers into the central space, spraying some sort of liquid from its body as it does that damages you, but nobody else in the vicinity. And it looks like it's cornered and scared. And I had one more attack, but I'm out of movement. Oh, no, I will cut the wind once. You have one more, right? So you got three times, right?

Yeah, three times. This is the last one. 27 to hit. You do not take acid damage because of the distance. 11 points of damage. 11 points of damage, all righty. Ashton, you're up. I've got a good look at this. I see where everything's going.

I think I'm just fucking trying and give this a nice run. I'm going to do another Chaos Burst attack. I'm going to do another Wormhole Strike. Okay. Reckless. Yeah. Can't get any further. That's 26 to hit.

All righty, that definitely hits. Tax law, the state of. That's five. Fabulous. 21 points of damage. 21 points of damage. 21 points of damage. Damn, still standing. It's looking real hurt.

Taking another. Come on! One more again. Squish it. Squish it. That's 23 to hit. Channel, your inner. And that's, ah, there we go. 10, 16, 18, 28 points of damage. How do you want to do that?

Oh! I'm going to take a run up, I'm going to swing, 10, 16, 18, 28 points of damage. How do you want to do that? Yeah! I'm going to take a run up, I'm going to swing, and I'm going to actually hop through my own portal and come jumping over it, hitting it on the way back. Since I get that from killing it. Boom! And then just right over the damn thing. As you teleport in the opposite side,

full momentum rushing towards it, and then hit it from behind like a freight train. The creature's, one of its heads detonates across the far wall as it splatters against the basalt rock on this end where nobody is. The rock , some of it burns, and the pockmarks you can see barely settling in before it slowly neutralizes. The other head shrieksks and it begins to try and pull away, but it bleeds out and slowly, as it begins to escape towards this tunnel where you are,

and as it approaches you, it's like, and its tail twitches and squirrels a bit before it eventually comes to rest. You did it, Chetney! No problem. Wow. That was amazing. That was fun.

Where's Pate? I'm going to strangle him for not seeing that thing. Well, you went down the left path. This is the right. I went down this way. Well, technically, this was the right path. Or this is the left path, this is the right path. This was the left path, this is the right path, this was the center chamber, he just didn't see it.

He just didn't see it. Then I pull out Pate and I give him the image and. What was that? You got to keep your eyes open, buddy. I don't have eyes. SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA,

SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA going to hit it again and again. Shpoof! Fucker! Yeah, I'll take some damage for that. You do, you take another 16 points of damage.

Is it not twitching anymore? It is no longer twitching. God fucker! Ah! Duh! It was fucking moving! Ew. I believe you.

Ew. I'm not a fan of this pussy, sploochy situation. I want to see what the fuck's in there. I don't like it at all. I'm going to drop the Hungry Torrent so people can look at the nest. Oh, it vanishes. A flash of light and the slightly torn open portal vanishes.

That's a new thing you did. Yeah, I really like it. That was very cool. I was taking inspiration from you a little bit. Yeah, I can see that. I was going to say, it was fantastic. I love it. That was very cool. I was taking inspiration from you a little bit. Yeah, I can see that. This is fantastic. I love it. My face is burning.

Oh no, are you okay? It doesn't feel good, no. Oh yeah, who needs some healing? Walking towards that right fork is more of that sickly sweet citrusy smell coming from that direction with the big wolf nose? No. Or any light or anything like that? It's coming from the creature

and this nest area in the room. It's the scent that either it gives off, the pile of refuse that it made into its nest gives off, or the combination of the two. Got it. We know that there's light to the left where Patrick went. Correct. Is there anything in the first 60 feet

with darkvision into that right area that looks like it might be? You need to go stealthy? Yeah. Stealth check for me. Are you going to go stealth for me? Yeah. Stealth check for me. Currently daylight's still up, right? It's mommy's. The witch is, oh my god.

I'll fuck right off. The witches loot the nest. All right, we'll get to that in just a second. 21. Okay. You slowly coil down the right-hand chamber as you shift down this one, curves downward and to the right side for a bit before

it evens out. You hear a noise. They're like, You come up to the point where it just ends and there's an opening. You look down and you can see that there is a small chasm beneath you, where there looks like there is a lightless passage where ocean water is flowing beneath the island and filling in this area. The sound you're hearing is bits of the tide that are pushing through and creating this odd tidal shift within this ocean river that's carved into the subterranean island rock. Awesome. Sweet. If there are no bones, remains, or anything like that to search, or signs of

life, long dead life, I'll walk back towards the middle area. Okay. So the witches are searching the refuse pile? Hoping to make sure that all the acid meat is out of the way. Okay, so two of you can make an investigation check, or one of you can do it with advantage, your choice. Huh? Who's got good investigation?

I have shit investigation. I have pretty shit. Oh, I have a four. I have a minus, too. I have a one, so we'll give you advantage. Okay. Go for it. Guards. Guiding me!'ll give you advantage. Okay. Go for it. Guiding me!

I'm guiding you. Guide me, guide me. Oh, I'm going to use this thing. Ooh. Okay, well. Jesus. You guided me. And you have advantage or no? What did we say? Yeah, she has advantage.

Ooh, okay, that's good. 18. 18. 18. 18 was the DC on this. Okay, great. So as you search through this area, there is, it looks like gathered bits of

partially crunched and destroyed into pulp, driftwood and tree bark that has been used to create this nest, almost like it's been swallowed and then exuded to create a wall space around it. There are many, many bones that are clean. You get the sense that whatever this creature devours, anything that's not digested by its enzymes, which seems to be bones, is pushed back out and made into further of this nest. You get

the sense now, as you look around, the rock and everything that's on the ground, most of the floor of this chamber is bone. There's a layer of it that elements of dirt and rock and the elements have coated it with color and shale. As you pull through, though, you do pick up a couple of things that catch your eye. There are a number of weapons in here. What looks to be some broken longbows of a unique design you're unfamiliar with. What looks to be a longsword, but it is thin

with a slight curve to it that comes to a tipped point at a slight angle. There is an odd texture to it, almost like a Damascus-type acid scar texture to it. There is a ceremonial wrapping to the base, but it looks like the handle has sustained some damage over time. Good question.

The shatter does thunder damage, right? It does. It does? If you break something, it'll break items in the area. Or it can hit items in the area. I think it was 18 points of damage. Indeed. All right, so you find one of these blades intact. You find a piece of chest armor of the same material intact, and you find another one of the blades that has been shattered. Not like it's been broken off at an angle or it sustained a wound,

like, almost like the vein of strength that holds it through just stopped holding it together and it just broke into 100 pieces. Non-magical objects take the damage. If they're magical in any way, they're... Correct. Is anyone here proficient with history? Yep.

Want to go ahead and roll for me? You could just shatter people's clothes off. Guy. Oh no! Seen it all. I've seen it. Did I get guided? Yeah. My dress just broke into 100 pieces.

18. 18? Another baseline you needed. You've heard of this, though you're, you're. I feel like I've read that romance novel. You're starting to put the pieces together. You've heard different tales and learned bits of history that were just interesting trivia bits,

but now you're starting to be like, oh wait, this all can apply to this experience of where you are. This material is referred to as Woe Steel. Whoa. W-O-E. W-O-E Steel. Whoa. It was an-E. W-O-E steel. Whoa.

It was an alloy metal that was created in the destruction of Dominus. It is very rare to find, only within the Shattered Teeth, and is considered sacred to the Ascended Host, one of the factions that maintains and protects both their culture and the memory of the islands within the Shattered Teeth.

We'll be grateful to have that return. Woe steel, we'll say from a mechanical standpoint, acts as a natural plus one weapon. Without magical, it has plus one to attack and damage. But whenever thunder damage is sustained, it has a 30% chance of breaking. Oh, it's just prone to thunder damage is sustained, it has a 30% chance of breaking. Oh, it's just prone to thunder damage? Ha ha.

Cable Damascus. Way to go, Chetney. Sorry. You also find the only other thing in there that hasn't been destroyed by the proximity of the acidic nature of the creature that made its nest, is a unique charm hanging on a broken chain. A palm-sized, woe-steel cage

affixed to this dangling necklace charm. And it encases a smooth, reddish-brown stone of unknown origin that bears what looks like carved language written across its surface in multiple lines. Is the language familiar to any of us? I don't believe so. If you'd like to make another history check.

Yeah, I would. Thanks. Thank you. If you'd like to make another history check. Yeah, I would. Alliance. Thank you. We're good, probably. Is 26. Okay. I read a lot. The train of thought that brought you

to recall the Woe Steal also is bringing you to some elements of the Shadowteeth you'd heard about, read about. It's interesting. This is a part of your, not just your training, I mean, your schooling growing up, but also just your general curiosity about Exandria and the world about you, and you'd forgotten about this.

This is referred to as a Raito charm. The Raito Charm. The Raito Charm is of the Ashisho, or Ashio culture here in Calutha. One of the many communities that make up the Ascended Host across the Shattered Teeth. What was the name of the Raito Charm? Raito Charm, R-A-I-T-O. It's the Ashio culture, A-I-S-H-I-O.

Or is that the? I don't know. I can't remember. What? A-I-S-H-I-O. I-O, Aishio. Got it, thank you. Aishio culture. Letters, what do you make of this?

Do you want me to identify it? I might need a short rest to do that. I'm happy to take a short rest, if anyone. I'm a little exhausted. Why don't we get out of this cave? Yeah, we'll get some fresh air in a second. If we bear to the right, it's just a nice gradual drop. Yeah, you know,

none of you understand the language that's scrawled on there. Yeah, I was just thinking maybe with this, with their lens, maybe we should rest here, because things know not to come in here. This does seem like a safe place, now that this creature's been here. As long as the postules don't pop anymore.

Oh yeah. Are there pus buckets up on the roof still? You see a handful that are up there, but they don't seem to be reacting to your presence. Yet. Maybe they go off of vibration or sound. ROAR! I think I'm...

Nothing. That's not a knock against the sound or the force with which I howled. It's just that we've killed this host. All right, fuck it, let's rest. Okay. All right, we're going to take a short rest here. Short rest.

Are we able to... Are docked temporary? Oh yeah, temporary hit point things. Are just docked until long rest. Until your long rest. Ooh. Ooh. Except for the five that you lost with the captain, those are permanent, so.

Yeah, except for me. I'm in it. But the 10 you've lost, if you lost them during that battle from its extended stomach ability, those you get back at a long rest. Okay. Fuck yeah.

So should we gather up some of the steel then? The woe steel, yeah. And I replenish my collection of bones. Plenty to pull from. Great. All manner of creatures, some humanoid, some non-beasts. Roll a nature check for me.

I'll assist you. Okay. Okay. I'll just bang it in a little bit. 13. Not great. 13. Average. A lot of odd bone shapes and sizes around here. You can't pick out a lot from them.

Some of the skull pieces with large tusks look hog-like, but large. Like look hog-like, but large. A hog with this skull would probably be about eight to 10 feet end to end. Unless its head is massive and the rest of its body is tiny. There are other bones of other creatures you can identify that are also large and many small ones as well.

This is just a collection of whatever was either hunted or unfortunately found its way in here by accident. Did you say that the ten points, or the five points from the worm that we got, that goes away? At a long rest. At a long rest. That's right, that's right. I did hear you say that, sorry.

Can I attune during this short rest? Yeah, for short rest you can, yeah. Okay, I'll attune to the lens and I'll identify that thing. Okay. This indeed is a rite-o-charm. The rite-o-charm, they are relics of deep personal importance

to the Aishio people. Let me see what the spell tells you real fast. It's not magical. A lot of hit points, too. Woo-hoo! Okay. It is magical, but it doesn't identify all the details of its history and its purpose.

You just know that it's important to these people. It seems to have protective magics about it. There is an abjuration quality to it. And it definitely, the script on it holds importance to its purpose. Okay. Abjuration, meaning protective work? Protective work magic.

Okay, while we're rested. Yes, they make their swords very strong. Wait. We got bones? To the surface. To the surface. To the surface. I guess one thing you would know from that, technically, is it's not attunable by you

or anyone. It is designed for a particular person. One person in particular. All right. Interesting. Could I use my Grim Psychometry? Could I use my Grim Psychometry? You certainly can. Feature here, like standing in the nest and maybe even coming over and looking at FCG holding that

and see what I can tune into. Go ahead and roll and add either your intelligence or wisdom modifier based on the build that you chose. Your spell is intelligence-based? Let me take a look. Your Hemicraft is? Yeah, Grimpsed Psychometry is a history check.

Recalling history. Right, history. So go ahead and roll history for me. Okay. It says I have advantage when it it's crime psychometry, so. Oh, 16 plus three, 19. 19, okay. As you reach over and take it,

gingerly from FCG's hands and focus on it, you feel this warm rush of blood of the back of your neck into your head. And then you have this sudden headache that causes your eyes to blink, and as you do, your vision goes red. In that red vision, when you open your eyes once more, you see an older man in his 50s or so,

long salt and pepper hair that's pulled into a very, very tight, large ball of a bun in the back of the head that has ribbons dangling from it with beads and other decorations that dangle from it. You see a heavy cloak that he wears that looks like it has textured moss, or at least moss-like texture on it to blend in with the surrounding jungles of greens and yellows and oranges. You see him with this very charm around his neck, the chain affixing it there, and it looks like he's leading a hunting party.

You see him quietly motioning for a few other compatriots to follow, and then one of them vanishes. He goes over to witness where they are, and it looks like there is an opening in the ground that they hadn't noticed. He goes in to investigate. In that shadow, in that darkness, he goes to light a torch. As the flame ignites, he looks up into the glistening, snatching mandibles of a familiar beast as it immediately wraps around him. In that scuffle, the flames snuff, his scream silent,

as his existence falls to shadow. God. Oh no, he's awake, alive. Shit. This was a personal effect of someone that was here before. How old do you think it is? I don't know. These visions I'm granted.

I'm not privy to win in time. Only that the gift is a singular one that I treasure. Are you about to planeswalk? What? Not again. I'm still on my sabbatical. So we should find who these relics belong to. Yes. We should take the pieces of the metal. Let's do it. Yeah.

And let's get up to the surface. Okay. I'm sick of this dark-ass, stanky cape. Let's have some fresh air. Stanky. I trip Imogen and shove her in the slot. No! Gross.

There's the Digitation! Stop it. All right. As you all step up on the left path previously watched and confirmed to be seemingly the safe one. Good path there.

You eventually watch as the daylight breaks through and you emerge from the depths of that seaside cavern to the lush jungle edge that encompasses the Creeping Valley of Calutha. that encompasses the Creeping Valley of Calutha. You can see what you had once seen through his vision, the sprawling tethered jungle of vibrant greens and verdant, pale yellows, oranges,

this patchwork of unique jungle colors broken up by these massive pillars of basalt rock that defy necessary unified path. You can see some that seem to stretch on for hundreds and hundreds of feet through the air, gradually curving over into numerous archways that give almost a broken bridge-like arena around the entirety of this jungle.

The mist is not as strong here when it's further away from the sea, but it still grows thick towards the center of this jungle, where you can see the hills rise and fall the further away it gets from you. You can see the shadow of the three massive mountaintops that mark the center of this island, many miles away.

What bit of that dark, looming shape that resides there. You're not quite sure how far it is to get there, the perspective challenging at this distance. But you do recall being told that somewhere near the base of those mountains lies a tree. And with that tree lies answers. And that's for one tonight's episode. Aw! Best booking ever! Thank you, Dread Pirate! Boo!

Thanks for all the ghost fucking. Yeah, give it up for Fearne Calloway for seducing a dead guy. Yeah! Yeah! Thank you! Not at all the directions I was expecting for that. Little more.

This story is very Hex positive. So happy to finally get the shadow teeth of the author abyss. Oh, cool! All right, we'll pick up there next week and see where it takes us. And thank you all so much for joining us. We love you very much.

And is it Thursday yet? Good night. Oh, hey. Ashley Johnson here, and I sure do hope you're enjoying the adventure. Remember when you first found out about Critical Role? Was it through a friend or a family member or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast? Many listeners find our show

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