Critical Role - C3E9 Thicker Grows the Meal and Plot

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

The group continues their search for Chetney's missing friend, even as their discoveries yield stranger and stranger reports about the man they're looking for...Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResourcesWatch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, watch the broadcast on our Twitch channel.

Hello, spellcasters, sages, and spectators. I'm Ashley Johnson, and you're listening to the Critical Role Podcast Network. Tap into our magical narrative by watching Critical Role as it airs on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can watch the video on demand right away, or you can catch it the following Monday on YouTube. As always, Critical Role will be available right here in podcast form on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. And now, let's scry into the story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we?

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're Dungeons & Dragons! Just like that. It is our first show back for the new year. Let's hope 2022 is a better one. But we start with our first sponsor of the evening,

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Just gotta boot up my Connect 4 and Yahtzee the Quirkle protocol. Nice try, you dairy farmer. But I eat Quirkle for bleep blue, which is hacker code for breakfast. Wanted to try and guess my identity, you boomer. Boomer? A Russian credit card scammer? That's so cringe.

A teenage anarchist in his mother's basement? Our fellow will know. Number two. Wait. Let's recompute this. What happened immediately before Robbie was infected? The fellow will know. Number two, wait. Let's recompute this. What happened immediately before Robbie was infected? Well, he plugged his generic tablet into the set and... Into the set?

You mean... You're a rootkit virus inside our brand new Critical Role set? Oh, ding, ding, ding. Late answer. You can call me SETI. And check it out, I'm not just a virus, baby! I'm shareware! This whole new set is my domain!

Ah ha ha ha ha! Aaaaaaah! What's up, trolls? It's me, Ashley Domson, and I hate oversized sweatshirts! Oh my god, it's not Ashley, you monster! Oh, hi dorks in dork land! Roleplaying is stupid! Actors are dumb! Shakespeare was as useless as a traffic light in GTA!

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There's no way you could have infected it. You did install NordVPN, right, Marisha? Well, you know, I mean... But it's so affordable, especially if you go to nordvpn.com slash criticalroll to get a two-year plan plus a bonus gift with a huge discount. I know, I know. It's been a lot going on, okay? And either it was about subscribing to NordVPN

or renewing our subscription to Matt Vesta the Month Club. So, um, I chose my husband. What? His vests are cool. Thank you. club, so I chose my husband. What? Is Vester cool? Yeah, I like him. Thank you. Negatory! Seti, you're saying? Affirmation. No.

Affirmation! You're stuck with me all campaign long. Okay, don't worry. I caused this, so I'll fix it. I'll find a solution. The next time NordVPN sponsors our show. Matt Vestu. Thanks, thanks, NordVPN.

What is happening? They have my spin. This episode is also sponsored by our friends at Ghostfire Gaming and their new episodic subscription service, Fables. Each Fable consists of six episodes released monthly, and in each of the episodes are four chapters, with each episode about 80 pages.

It also comes with digital maps, digital tokens, making this the perfect all-in-one adventure. And out now is the first episode, Grim Hollow Adventure, Citadel of the Unseen Sun, an adventure set within a world where the sun has vanished from the sky and vampires rule the land with an iron fist. That's right, Sam.

Check it out now at Ghostfiregaming.com slash fables hyphen Critical Role for a very reasonable 14.99 a month. Woo! Sir Ravis, you got something to shout about? Oh, I do! I get out of the Nordverse. In case you missed it, right before the holiday break,

we announced a brand new launch date for our upcoming series on Amazon Prime Video, The Legend of Mike's Market! If you missed it, our series will be making its debut an entire week early on Friday, January 28th. One week early, so don't miss it! We're so pumped. Fantastic.

Laura, you got announcements. I do. We have merchandise. They do. Ta-da! Ta-da! It's a beanie! That's actually awesome. This is an Azul'Kraus beanie.

It says, even we don't know what's here. Oh, that's cool. But in addition to our beautiful beanie, we got a beautiful scarf! Yay! Now you can wear both things, since it's still cold outside. So cute.

Look at that. Oh my god, I love it. Look. Oh, that looks really cute on you. It actually does, yeah. It's working cold outside. So cute. Look at that. Oh my god, I love it. Oh, that looks really cute on you. It actually does, yeah. It's working really well. It's Harvard colors. It's ador-sable. That's all I got to say about that. Awesome, thank you so much.

It's in our stores! There you go. I thought that was all you had to say. Thank you, Laura. You're welcome. And I believe with that, our announcements are over. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. We'll be right back. There is magic and mystery Who knows what will happen He might But one thing's for sure

We never give up on the fight From the healer to the renegade We all share the same goal Adding more allies. Taking more chances. Hold your breath and roll. You can certainly try. It's Thursday night.

All ye critters come join us. It's time to continue our play. It's Thursday night. There is magic and mystery from darkness our friendship will rise But one thing's for sure we never give up on the fight Oh get ready it's Thursday night Good night. And welcome back. So, last we left off, our heroes here who have been traversing the city of Drusar

had been on the trail of a few disappearances that have been happening in recent weeks at a theater. They managed to find out what was responsible and destroy this creature that had taken these creatures, these people's lives. So I'm very distracted to have myself on the screens. Thank you. But upon finishing this mystery,

a figure nearby overheard that you had completed this appointed, risky endeavor to find these missing people, an individual named Pockopi. Chetney Pockopi. Upon coming along with your band and asking for their help in finding a missing person that they themselves are seeking,

you began to search throughout the city, follow the path to where this individual, this Gurge, was currently staying temporarily within the city of Drusar. Upon inspecting the temporary abode, the hovel in which he was living, you found signs of a struggle. Apparently some sort of attack had transpired and you watched marks of a struggle. Apparently, some sort of attack transpired

and you watched marks of it being dragged away while also hearing of a terrible dire wolf attack in the city, fearing that this individual may have fallen into the same dire wolf. You spoke for information with the person who had rented them the space and followed the assumed intent that he had been arrested by the local wardens.

You had gone over to the nearby factory and spoke with these wardens to see where he may have been. Upon them, awkwardly, nervously almost, walking into the factory and locking the gates behind them, looks like Fearne decided to go ahead and inspect secretly in the form of a rat. Sneaking through the interior tunnels and heading into one of the side chambers

where it seemed the warden with more authority amongst the two you spoke with, were having a conversation, a bit shifty of them. Already in a place of mistrust with these wardens assigned to this factory, they turn to leave, just as you were there waiting out from underneath the door in the tight space, attempting to turn from where their footfall was, you failed to do so

and took just enough damage to pop you out of your rat form. And we come in just as Fearne has emerged, full-bodied in the middle of this small office chamber within the factory, staring now at these three wardens that look at you with surprise, confusion, and a slight shift towards whatever arms they have at their side. With that being said, what do you do, Fearne?

Oh my goodness. I... Okay, I was trying to come in to get to you, but you ran in so fast. There's a whole pack of direwolves out there, and it's bad. I was trying to come in to tell you, and you didn't hear me knocking on the door,

so I slipped right under, and here we are. Let's go. I go to open the door. Okay, roll a deception check. Come on. Oh god. How many? This is the whole thing. There's three of them, right?

There's three of them. There's three of them, yes. Okay, okay. Just natural 20. Okay. Just easy. Natural 20. Easy. Easy peasy. I assume you already rolled like Robbie. Two.

Okay, okay, let's go with this guy. Uh-oh. 11. 11. Oh boy. The one in front that initially had stepped and had his foot pressed back as he watched you come into your rat form before his eyes blinks for a second, his hand instinctively

going to the blade that's sheathed at the side and goes, What? What do you mean dire wolves? Now? Yes, they're the ones that's sheathed at the side and goes, What? What? What do you mean direwolves? Now? Yes, they're the ones that were killing people. There's blood all over their mouths. They all glance to each other. We need to go outside right now.

Looks back towards the one at the desk who's still sitting there looking forward. Miss. Fearne, what's your name? So one of the desks is still sitting there looking forward. Miss? Fearne, what's your name? As you put your hand forward, the one in front begins to pull the blade from the sheath. Just a hand. Why are you in my office?

I told you. I was trying to run after the two that came inside, that we were asking a question. We were out there for two seconds. This whole pack of direwolves came out and I was like, oh shit. So I ran in to get you guys because this is bad.

Right. This is very bad. You glance to the other two, says, Could you describe the coloration of these direwolves? Yes. There are many different types in the jungle. It would be important for us to know what we're up against. There were so many different types. There was a white fluffy one.

There was a brownish one. There was one. As you're saying this, the two other wardens are beginning to slowly flank to get between you and the door. Oh my god. Okay, okay. In my head, I'm going to say,

Oh, Imogen, I am not a rat anymore. And we have a problem. Oh, no. Inside. Are you okay? I think so, but maybe just be on alert, just in case. Okay. What's going on? Where are you?

I'm in an office. At this point, the two guards, one grabs your wrist on the left side and the other grabs your right wrist. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'd like to cast Charm Person on the head honcho. Okay, the guy you're looking at across the way.

Is there a somatic component to the spell? Oh no. Oh no. Oh, that's right. VSM? VM? VSM. VS. Okay, so verbal somatic. All right, so you don't need a material component, but you do need to speak the spell as you cast it,

and you do need to use your hands to do the somatic components of the spell. So yes, you can do it. Your hands are currently held by two guards. You'll have to break one of the hands free in order to finish the spell. Which guard do you choose? Okay, the one on the left.

One on the left, okay. Hey, whoa! Roll a strength check. Oh god. Let's go. You're strong. You're strong. Yeah, you're strong. You're strong. Strong. So strong. So strong. You're strong. Yeah, you're strong. You're strong. Strong. So strong. So strong.

What is it? It's a natural one. No! Minus two. Natural one. But she has minus two. If you have minus two, he's going to beat you. Oh!

Okay, it's okay. Dueling natural ones? I was like, this is, nope, nope. So you go to move your arm and it's held in place. You do not have the means to cast the spell at the moment. The guy across the table now stands up from his desk and goes, Miss.

Yes? We should have a conversation. Sit. Absolutely, absolutely. The two guards carry you along, forcefully holding your wrists and sitting you on. You don't have to. Calm down. I'm not going to do anything. Jeez Louise.

They sit you down, but they stay holding your wrists to your side. They're keeping you in place. It's hot. You just hear in your head, This connection's going to break soon. Fearne, is there anything we can do? Yes, I think they might try to kill me,

so maybe somebody come in? Huh. The man at the desk, before we get over to you, just says, strange that you are asking around about this Gurge fellow. Oh, yes. We didn't even get into that.

With you yet, I just wanted to make sure you guys were all safe. Why are you looking for him? Well, I didn't really want to disclose this, but... didn't really want to disclose this, but we were in a relationship. And he just took off on me. And he just took off on me.

And now we're just trying to put the pieces together of getting my life back. So I think we're just trying to find him because he stole a bunch of the stuff from me and he's just, he's not, I just, it's been really hard. Roll a deception check. Come on!

Ugh! Oh my god. Calm the fuck on. Goddamn it. Okay. Nine. You were in a relationship with the Wildman, the hermit on the outskirts of the city. Well, he was a wild man.

Right. Yeah. At this moment, coming back to you guys on the outside. What are you doing? Are you all right? You look stressed. Why are you stressed? Are you all right? They know she's in there. Do we kill everybody?

She said they might kill her! Oh, thank god, let's go. Yeah. What do we do? Wait, wait, wait, we can't just barge in? This is a police department? No, no, yes, we can't just barge in? This is a police department? No, no, yes, we can. Should we just banish them? Should we just really try to get their attention?

I've always been taught that slow and steady wins the rake. What? If you want to, some people need rakes. It's race. Is the door locked? Nope. I'm afraid not. Yes, there is a crossbar door at the front that she had slipped through before that is locked

as you go and try to pull on it. I'm going to. Get their attention. Go. I'm going to start banging on the door with the hammer. I'm going to break it fucking down. I'm ready to get these locks. Down too late. I hit it with a hammer. Okay.

Roll, go ahead and roll an attack. I should make that go away so I can see my stats. Stats. That's 17. It definitely hits the door. Go ahead and roll damage. These are so comf- Barbarians are so complicated. That's a a reverse math.

13. 13. You hit the door and the door budges slightly. Direwolves! Oh. There is a heavy impact sound as you hit the door and it echoes, the sound of metal on heavy weapons just kind of echoes through the factory halls behind you. You say, Direwolves.

You seem kind of... What was that noise? How am I supposed to know? You're doing it again? No, I'm just, I'm fine. Can I try mine now? Fucking shit, age before beauty. Can I get up there and start thinking?

Okay, go ahead and roll. Is this a sleight of hand? This would be adding your proficiency modifier in your dex save. This is the Thieves' Tools. Great. 12. 12. You know, this might've been an easier lock

if it hadn't already been somewhat wedged by a heavy impact the previous round by a weapon. You can see there's a slight gap where it is now pushed slightly out of its normal socket there, where the door is flush normally, but it has definitely fucked up the locking mechanism for the time being.

You know what? I actually might be able to just pop the hinges off over here. Go for it. Let me see. I'm going to take my Rot Chisel. Can I? Oh boy. Pop the hinges? Roll an intelligence check. All right.

Fucking doors. That's bad. It's real bad. Five. Yeah, you got this. Real fast. Like the terrible Trivium, Marisha just begins slowly working.

Sorry, Laudna begins slowly working on the outside of the hinge. Stop making that motion. If it helps. If it helps, DM, I did my math wrong. Okay. Stop making that motion. If it helps. If it helps, DM, I did my math wrong. Okay. It's actually 17. Oh shit! Still not enough.

Okay. Whoa! Really? Wow. Listen, I just, I really, I need you to give me some information. I can give you something as well, if that's how you like most transactions. Certainly. He looks over to one of the other guards

who releases your right hand and pulls his blade out and begins looking over to inspect the sound that just echoed through the hall behind. Dorian. Yes? You can blast that thing off at Sentius? I don't know, maybe. Am I the blasting guy? I suppose. Sometimes.

Like with a spell? Yeah. 10 more minutes. Meanwhile. All I ask, if you could just come out and talk to my friends and I. I don't mean anybody any harm. We really need to know where my love is, has gone.

Why are you looking for him? Be honest for once. It might adjust your sentence. The guy who's released your hand and has his weapon out is now starting to put his hand up against the door and is inspecting past the bars into the hall behind you. I'm worried about his safety.

I went to go see him and he wasn't there and it looks like he might've been hurt. And I'm really not trying to cause trouble, sir. I just, we just need some help. Roll a persuasion check with disadvantage. Oh god, disadvantage. 12. He seems unmoved and frustrated

with the fact that you're wasting his time. You do have a hand free, though. Oh. Oh. I'm going to cast her in person. Okay. He's about to speak up towards you. What's the DC on the spell? Oh boy. 15.

15. Ooh, that's good. That is really good. That is very close, but he does not succeed. Ooh. Oh, okay. 14 total on his part. He just missed it. He goes forward to give you a stern finger for talking to and goes,

Hmm. Well, my apologies. This was a major understanding. It's really, it's really okay. It's really okay. I accept your apology. What are you doing? Release her. It is fine. The guy goes, Um, sir? I said, release her.. The guy goes, Um, sir? I said, release her.

Wait, but before I leave, did you happen to know where Gurge is? The other guard behind is like, Um, what's happening? Would you let me go now? Where's the noise coming from? Can you guys call? Who's in charge here?

They both look at you incredulously, then look back at the main guy, and says, which guy's our point? Look. We were given a donation from an old friend. Do you know of Artana Vo? Artana Vo. That sure sounds familiar.

Would you refresh my memory, maybe? She's a female bounty hunter. Oh, yes, yes, yes. She works all throughout the lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. I know her from way back, and she had, on behalf of her employer, whoever it might have been, offered us a bit of coin to help her with the hunt.

This Gurg individual she was apparently hunting. Now. I'm going to try the Saw Through the Door, by the way. Okay, go for it. Roll a strength check. The metal saw through the metal door? Yes! 19. She loosened it for you, but...

It cuts through one of the hinges and you can see now, the door is one good hit away from giving in on one side. Don't worry, Fearne, we're coming for you. We're through the door. We're going to be there any second. Oh, oh, oh, okay. At this point, as this heavy sound hits,

the guy who's talking to you goes, What was that? Go look for it. The two guards pull their blades and start walking out the hallway to pursue the sound. Maintenance! Don't mind us! I'll come help. Or we'll finish your story.

I'm going to just sit on the side of the desk. All right. We need to make sure that everything is safe. There's a lot of commotion. It's fine. This is a factory. You guys are so loud here. Fair enough. So suppose that as she keeps talking, like, almost as though the two other guys

leaving the chamber. We knew from reputation that Gurge was some sort of strange wild man from what she said, but we were not prepared for what we encountered. He became a terrifying beast when assaulted. A violent melee ensued in the broad daylight and it took him, took me, Artana, and those two guards to subdue him.

And Artana left with the beast unconscious, and we assured the surrounding neighborhood of a wild dire wolf attack in the best of just keeping a smoke screen and minimize interest, but he's not dead. He's taken care of. He is fine. Okay. He is fine. Okay.

He is in Artana's custody, and whatever business he's gotten, wherever she may be, he's being taken to whatever debts he may have accrued. Why, a monster. That certainly would explain some of our wild nights. You are an interesting one. Who? You.

Sometimes. Explain how wild some of these nights could have been. Oh, just, I don't know if it's appropriate. We're just friends here in a room. Oh boy, it was lots of things that involved... Right there, we come back to you guys. Ashton, give it a whack! Come on, knock this thing down!

Oremus slashing the hinges that Laudna had been working on. Is everyone just going on it? Yeah, are we kicking it out? We're just working on it. Kick it out. I'm trying to pull at the top hinge, trying to just pull on it.

Just go ahead and, I think at this point, it's more about making a combined strength check between those who are working on it right now. So if you're pulling on it and you're helping out towards the hinges. I'm still working on it, lock. Listen. Something's never changed. 22 for strength. Oh wow.

Great, yeah. The door pulls away. Natural 20, wow. Great, yeah. The door pulls away. That's what's what, oh. Got it! Can't work! Dust. Once it's off the hand, it's like, I got it!

One for one! The dust kicks up around it and soot, just fills the air. You can't help but find yourself cough through instinct. As it begins to clear back, you can see there are a number of lights further down the hall and the stairways leading down to the chamber. It looks like some individuals

with headlamp circumstances are glancing over in your direction as two armed guards, the two that you originally encountered, come around the corner, weapons drawn, and look towards you. As they fall indoors, dust begins to settle. Somebody needs to fix those hinges. We just knocked on the door and it fell right on down.

Did you guys get all the dire wolves? I tried, the whole pack of them. As Fearne comes rushing around the corner. Who was that, Fearne? I, this whole time, I thought they were at the office door. Oh! They were further around the corner. Who was I running to? I, this whole time, I thought they were at the office door. Oh, no, they were further down the hallway. But if you want to leave the office

and follow up with them. No, no, no. So can we. Okay. So roll a deception check with disadvantage, girl. Yep. Whoa. Whoa, that's really good. I know, it's a double dice. Oh, is it? That thing is so cool. Nice and simple. What is that?

Oh, cool. So that's 20 with disadvantage. Very nice. Wow. The two guards standing there, the wardens clenching each other. Hold on, we just need to get our... Don't move. Don't move. We'll get this squared away. This has been really confusing here.

Real quickly, he looks over at the guards like, yeah, we just need to, boss? Boss? And as you both, he's leaning in at the table, hearing this in the background, he goes, oh, maple issues. I mean, that's why I just love maple syrup. So. Here's the thing, though.

I got to go. That's why I just love maple syrup. So. Here's the thing, though. I got to go. I need to figure out what my ridiculous men are up to, so I'll walk you out. I can figure it out. I'll walk you out. Oh, okay. He stands and walks along with you on the side as you both come around the corner. Oh, here. This is an oleander.

Oh. Put it in a glass of milk. Oh my goodness, thank you so much. And it'll just be lovely on your desk. Oh. I will do that and think of you later. Wait, what was your name? Oh, my name was Keledon. Keledon.

I am the head warden here in the factory. God, you're such a dear. Yeah. I try. Not as much of a dear as you, because, you know. Oh, well, I know. Oh, that was a cute joke. Thank you.

Watch his up! And zaps over to his men. So these people, the people we're talking about, they went through the door. They said it was broken. Yeah. Is it broken? Do we need to fix it?

He's like, wait, are these your friends? Yes, did you get the direwolves? The pack of direwolves that was outside that were just ravenous? Yes! Yes! Oh!

Okay, okay, okay. We sent them off of the side. They fell down the side of the spire. Yeah, heard. All right, let's go. One of the guards goes, But there wasn't any. Boss is like, Shh.

Well, we thank you for your service, but you are on private property. I need you to leave. We're going, we're going, we're going. All right. Hopefully see you again. I did, this was really fun. I think so, too.

Okay, next time, next time. Okay. You want to get that door up for the direwolves? Yes. Oh, okay. You want to get that door up for the dire wolves? Yes. Oh, yes. As you all walk out, there's silence and awkward cough in the distance. It's just a super tense exit as you all scuffle out into the main street and take a breath and exhale.

I thought you said you were going to die. Well, I thought for a second, but then, but then he changed his mind, I guess. I just, you know, just did a little, you know, I'm not the one you're looking for type of a thing. So. Wow. I didn't know you could do that. Did you invent that?

Yeah. Wow. I didn't know you could do that. Did you invent that? Yeah. Wow. This is not the faun you're looking for. That was very well handled, I have to say. I mean, the door, it's a little concerning, given how many of you there are, but the three guards, no violence. Well, you know, maybe in the future,

we'll start with you on doors. I don't want to presume, but it could be a good idea. It would've been nice to know. I feel like it would've been nice to know, just saying. I didn't really know your skill set beyond toys. Oh, sorry, I should be more vocal with that. Yeah, I'm real good with locks and I got quick hands and sometimes people don't see me very much.

That makes sense. Yeah, I remain undetected. What about his friend Gurrn? Was he in there? Gurrn? Gurge. We got some information on Gurrge. Gurrge was in there? Gurrge was not in there.

Gurrge? Gurrge was not in there. He is currently being held, arrested at the Artanavo. Why are you reading off of him? I was in her head. Oh, okay. She was in my head. I was just really tuned into Keledon.

Mind notepad. But Gurge is elsewhere. Gurge is elsewhere, and he seems to be alive and well. Oh! But also turns into things. What do you mean, like you? What do you mean, turns into things? Yeah, he was just saying that

he was turning into a beast of some sort. Oh. Well, maybe he's like you. Maybe he's like a druid or something. He could be. What kind of beast? He didn't say. But he said periodically,

not just one transformation, right? He did, didn't he? I'm asking, no. I really don't remember. He did. It was not all the time, but I think just when he needs to. So he's unlike the creatures that we saw, or the other guy that we found in the wall

who had slowly turned into a monster? It's not him, right? Or it's not that kind of transformation, right? Well, in his house, we saw the claw marks. And they looked quite big. And they're sure that he turned into this creature or someone turned him into a creature. That's an excellent point.

Where is he now? There was a woman involved. Artaneveau. Artaneveau was her name. That wasn't the place that he was at. Do we recognize that name? For those who have been in this city for more than a year, which I think is just you, roll a history check.

Here we go, baby. Come on, baby! you. Yeah. Roll a history check. Here we go, baby. Come on, baby! 13. 13. You have heard the name before. You know that Artana is a name that's hushed by those that work in criminal circles, as almost like a boogeyman in places. Kind of a mercenary for hire who is known for hunting

those that are hard to find and bringing them back in one piece, if wanted in one piece. That's best that you can recall. From what I know, Artanovo's bounty hunter mercenary, expensive, way above my fucking pay grade. No one, I don't think I've ever met anyone who hasn't just heard a story from somebody else. It's never crossed my path.

So your Gourge was a bounty for one of the most badass hunters in the city. And when you put it like that, that's really fucked up. I mean, he did say that people were always keeping tabs on him, but I thought he might've just been paranoid. But you know,

did they say that they took him to Artanavo and now he's in custody or what's? No, I think I... To clarify. I forgot who Gurge was. I'm sorry. I'm just about to think. It's fine.

We were just honestly having such a good conversation. I forgot it all. Artanavo tossed them some coin to help her in apprehending him, which they did, and then she left with him unconscious. So she's a bounty hunter. So she's obviously taken him to someone else, someone with a lot of money.

So do we find out who put out the bounty? We could try that. Do you know where we would find Artana? No, but if you want to find out what sort of shit rich people are up to, you talk to rich people. And we have one. We do?

Oh, we do. We do. Oh, that's right. We should introduce you. For sure. I know you're fancy. Are you the rich one? No, no, no, no. We have a patron of sorts that we work with on occasion. Yes. Oh shit, you're sponsored.

Mm. Mm. Is that what it sponsored? That's nice. It's been a bit since we checked in, too. You might have learned a little bit more. How long has it been since we've been here? One or two days, hasn't it? It's been a bit since we checked in, too. You might have learned a little bit more. How long has it been since we've been in here? One or two days, hasn't it? It's been a couple days.

Yeah, we should check in with him. Perhaps we can find the root of who has the bounty out on your brother. What? What's wrong? What? Why do you keep looking at him? Because it's so fucking pretty over here. It is, it is very. Yes, you are very handsome. I wonder, mm, that's a noise.

I was wondering, how are your manners? How would you feel about meeting a lord with a short temper? Do you feel like you could be on your best behavior or? No. But I'm all for it. This is great. I mean, you can't tell me that going on his best behavior.

This is... It's not as bad as it looks. Did you see them rush the door? Oh man! All right, let's go. You've convinced me. Don't wait there. I could also remain out of sight

if it compromises your relationship. I don't want to put you out of any more coin. We're still in a relationship, too. This is the first I've heard that we were sponsored. I mean, he did give us money to do things. I guess that's true. Although, when you accept sponsorships, isn't that sort of selling out a little bit?

I don't know, it kind of depends. Are you a group of individuals or do you have a thing? What do you mean, a thing? I don't know. Yeah, you'll figure it out. I don't have time to put you through business school. Fuck.

What's at the road? Yeah. Sorry. Eshteross? Eshteroshosh. Westereross? Eshteroshosh? Worcestershire. Eshteross. Eshteross. Eshteross.

This is my vengeance for Purvan and every other town you fuck up the NPC before. I just don't know where the SH sound goes. Eshterosh? Eshteross. Eshteross. Eshteross. Eshteross.

Yes. It's Eshteross. God damn it. It's not Fulgrom. It's fucking Dexteross. Eshteross. Eshteross. Yes. For sure it's Eshteross. God damn it. It's not Fulgrum. Fucking dick. Eshteross. Eshteross. That's okay. Can you feel it?

Okay, so yes, you will be taking a cable car back, so do mark off one silver each. Do they have passes for this? I know! Do you have a fast pass? Do you have fast passes? No. No. Take it up at the like a fast pass. You want to do a fast pass or something? No.

Take it up at the Quorum, guys. Man. Yeah, we'll bring it up at the next City Council meeting. I'm going to role play the fuck out of that. It's your story, man. Tell me where you want to go. Roll for City Council. I've got some changes around here.

Oh no. Was there anything else we needed to do in the Smolder's Mound? Imogen? The worst. Imogen, hey, Imogen, do me a favor. Do me a favor. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes and just tell me what your happy place is. That way you won't think about what's around you. Just say it out loud. What's your, where do you think of when you think of just a happy place? A big field full of flowers and my horse standing next to me.

Your horse? What's the horse's name? Flora. And is it a big mare or a stallion? I don't know anything about that. She's a mare. Okay. And look, we're there! Oh!

With a heavy impact and a mild swing, you do come to base. Fillies, they're called fillies. Sure. She's a filly. She's a fucking filly. I know this. Being a horse girl. Being a horse girl. Just like I hear some people named Fjord

knew everything about sailing. Oh yeah. I know everything about horses. I like her. You're actually 100% download of real-world education. Probably would need someone who knew a lot about horses that you could ask. One or three people. As you travel to a familiar space in the Core Aspire,

you come to the exterior of Sir Eshterosh's estate. Eshterosh. Eshterosh Manor. A state. Strong, strong, historic manor. There, Evelyn greets you and leads you into his study where he is currently set partially facing towards the fire, which is in a low rumble at this point and is in the process of going through a book before you hear him slam it closed,

stand up and set it over one of the nearby desks and turn around. You see, for the first time, this imposing figure of a broad-shouldered, older orc man in his later years, but carry with him a very, a sense of purpose and honor and intensity. As he turns, you can see the spectacles

at the end of his nose as he removes them and places them in a small pocket. Welcome. And who is this one? New friend. Just made him. Did I speak? How do I be rude? This is Chetney.

Chetney Pock-opee. Chetney, I am Eryx Estoross. Eryx Estoross. Estoross. Estoross. That is fine. Chetney came to us with a request to help find his friend,

who has the ridiculous name of Gurge, and- What? He is quite ridiculous, isn't it? We set about to do that and discovered that Gurge has been taken hostage by. A ton of us. Yeah. We don't have a way of figuring out

where that came from. We thought you might know a way of figuring out where that might've come from, because that's a lot of money. We're following a lot of threads and starting to feel a little out of sorts. Tangled, a little tangled. It is the nature of cities such as this.

Did we also update Lord Eshteross on what happened with the wall and all that? Have we been back here? No. It's been a long time. You have not. No. Okay, so there was also a wall and stuff happened there. Oh my god.

More inanimate objects. It's a fucking thing. And the theater and... Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, the wall came to life. It was this big monster with tentacles that came out of it. We almost died.

But that was the source of the disappearing folk that you had us go investigate, so mission accomplished. And we found out they were connected to this family. The Treshies. Yeah, and I pull out the little thing that I took from the side of it, a little orby thing. This is part of the thing that brought it to life.

I don't know. Well, I do not know what this device specifically is purposed for. The Kreshis are one of the more influential Mahaan houses of the city. He clasps in his hand for a second and thinks. So the Chandaekorum, which is responsible for the governance of this city,

has eight anonymous members amongst the multitude of Mournhouses and guild masters and other individuals that may be on this council. But their membership is unknown, aside from one who speaks as their mouthpiece. It has been long assumed, at least on my part, that the Threshis have at least one member within those midst. If you believe in strong proof

that they are involved with these, we'll be careful about spreading this information before we have some means of, a path of taking them to task. Definitely. How likely would it be that one guild or faction within the Trashy House could operate autonomously from the rest?

Would you assume that they would all be in bed together? Could this just be one outlier, or would you imagine it's the whole family? Both are very viable options. Obviously, I do not have a lot of face time with the other families of the city, but now that I have a place to begin asking around about, I see what I can muster.

There is a ball of some kind in the near future. I do believe I have an invitation, though I cautiously turn it down every year. Maybe it's time to make a fashionable appearance. Can we, yo? His eyes narrow, intensely looking at you. It just sounds fun, never been to a ball. I can ask.

Why do you turn it down every year, your lordship? You're doing great. Thank you. Walks over towards you and stands, lording over you, arms crossed, looking down. Get up. Get up, get up, yep. Mm-mm. Dump, dump.

No need to grovel at my feet, please. It makes me uncomfortable. Sorry. He's normally a lot more... Opinionated. Than this. Yeah, that's a good word for it. We just met. That's pretty presumptuous, I think. Is it?

Yeah! You were doing so good. I'm trying to do the best I'm able here! You were doing great. You were doing great. Thank you. What kind of ball is it? Is it a celebration of some sort of day?

A holiday or remembrance or something? Not a specific holiday. It is meant to be an annual social greet for the upper crust of the city. It is a place for business and guilds to meet those who have come into power, to talk of those who have vanished from power, and to consolidate the interests of the coming year.

All right. It is. Wow. Pretty high for Luton. Yeah. Sounds like a racket. Hmm. I hate such events, but this is too curious a thread not to tug. By the way, I have heard back from Bellumas House

and with a bit of a... They are too of lead time upon it. The anger will need to deal. Oh. Oh, excellent. I appreciate you making the effort for me. Now, you said Artanva, yes? Yeah.

He turns around and walks up to one of the separate shelves on the other side of the room and begins to pick through before pulling the book down and begins flipping through pages. I keep tabs on persons of interest in this city. Your Gorge is not unknown to me. Oh.

It is hard not to be aware of an individual that walks with such superstition surrounding them. Superstitions? A wild man hunter that lives on the outskirts of the city by himself, known to be a great hunter of beasts and comes into town to trade his wares.

Often, the people in the steps below think highly of him. Those in the city itself stay wary. With Artana, while I do not know where they stay, they have a sister. Her name is Preyo Medali. Wait, what's that again? Preyo Medalli. P-R-E-Y-O?

P-R-E-I-O. Yes. Preyo Madonna. Medalli. Medalli. Preyo Medalli. She is one of the partial owners and common purveyor and manager of the Suttonswill Tavern.

Oh, the Suttonswill. We heard about that. That's in the Smolder Spire. That is correct. Oh, we were just there. Oh, we do. We're going to have to pay another damn toll. It costs so much money to get around. Hey, you should tell the Shantae Corps to have a fast pass type of situation

or some sort of locals pass. Or at least a tent pack. Like some sort of token you can put on your shirt that shows that you're good to go without having to pay. Tone style, maybe. Yeah, that. I saw them with to pay. Turnstile, maybe. Yeah, that. I saw with the hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If this upcoming event manages to transpire and I'm able to get any of you in as a compatriot, maybe you can present it yourself. That could be her business presentation. Oh yeah, that's good. Do we have to think about attire for this event? Or are we good at that? Wait until I have any confirmation.

Probably only gets a plus one, so. Yeah, I doubt he can bring everyone, right? Yeah, I doubt it. You probably couldn't swing that, huh? That'd probably be really difficult to get a whole group in. Yeah. I have not been.

I can try. Your whole, just bring a whole entourage with you. We can all do something for you. We can pretend that we're working for you in different ways, you know? That's a good idea. All dressed in a uniform. Entourage.

Or imagine you could wear, or no, Fearne could wear a big, hoopy-type skirt and me and Chetney and Orym could all fit underneath. That's true. Oh, great! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could stack on each other's shoulders and wear a big coat. You're just describing the Nutcracker.

I mean, I did get that dress from the theater. Oh, that's true. Do you trust the people at this mall? I mean, are there any associates of yours that you put faith in? I have allies in the city, yes. There are good people at the top. I just do not make a habit of being seen in public.

Well, if it was of interest to you, it doesn't have to be entirely a favor. I mean, some of us could sneak around, maybe eavesdrop for you, see what's being said. This is going to be a challenge to get approval for eight people who have been unseen, unintroduced, and do not have much to bring to this event.

I wouldn't need approval. I just need your say-so. What is your skill set, if I might ask, Smoke, sir? I like to skirt in here and there without detection. And I just hear what I can hear. Sometimes people don't pay attention to the little folk. You know what?

I think he's selling himself a little short. He's also a master woodworker, and around here at this establishment of yours, you might have some projects for him that you might want him to take a look at. That is true. Do I forget? No. I do love working with wood.

Well, I shall keep this in mind the next time I require furniture. When it comes to this event, I will do my best. In the meantime, I wish I had more information on this Hartana individual, but as you said, they do carry a high price, so my curiosity has certainly peaked. Do you have any idea what they look like?

Goes back to the Telmenglances a bit. They are Hunya, Elf, Orc. Piercing light brown eyes is the only note I have here. Oh, I love it. Beautiful. At the Soot and Swill. Soot and Swill. The sister is at the Soot and Swill. Oh, I thought it was Soot and Swill, too.

I thought it was Soot and Swill. It's not Soot and Swill? Soot and Swill. Soot and Swill. I apologize I thought it was Sit and Swill. It's not Sit and Swill? Sit and Swill. Sit and Swill. Well, it's a tower. I think so. We need a feast for the half-wore cacoph. She works the bar. Oh, that's it.

Okay. Half-wore cacoph. Okay. If you eat, you can sit, and then drink. And, Dee, I'm sorry, back a bit. Yes. Did Iryx, for the family, did he say a family name?

Yeah, the Lumas. Lumas, thank you. Oh, for? Yes, for the anger. Yeah, he was hired by the Lumas, the twins that were supposedly attacked. And the meeting was being worked on. Yes, he just needs a day or two heads up so they can arrange it. It's not like a drop-in type circumstance, but with enough heads up, you can have it arranged. Do you want to give him a day or two heads up so they can arrange it. It's not like a drop-in type circumstance,

but with enough heads up, you can have it arranged. Do you want to give him a break? When's this ball? It's a little over a week from now. Oh, I don't want to wait until after that. I guess at their earliest convenience, if that's all right. Certainly. I will go ahead and set something up

and let you know when it's confirmed. Is it all right if I bring my friends, or? You may have to take that up with the, I don't remember. The family? The family who remains in it. At least whoever is stewarding the family for now. Understood. Could I ask one more question?

Just because you hear rumors and stuff. Yes, small sir. Gert, you said he goes out into the wild. You wouldn't happen to know where or whereabouts, maybe? Not specifically, no. Oh, okay. Thank you. My apologies. I also have a question.

Yes, Gary One. Who puts out bounties? Like, who controls that? Is that the Wilders, or is that the Quorum, or is that families? Who does that? Honestly, all of the above. Bounties are placed from all different sources.

Some are business-related, some are personal. Some of it is from the wealthy elite, some of it is from the everyday individual with vengeance on the mind or a particular business interest that might suit them. Some bounties are placed openly in various places of gathering. Others are placed through whisper networks.

Others are shared amongst the Elder's Post and other such spaces. The more dubious members of the city often frequent. It can vary. For someone like Artana, they were likely requested directly. And what about the Treshis? I'm certain they have put up many bounties in the past.

Well, they have the influence and funds to put up a bounty, an exorbitant bounty, say, 20,000 gold. Easily. They have three guilds under their house name. They have quite a bit in their coffers, I'm certain. Is that high for a bounty? Or is that about average?

Do you know? Whoever it is has certainly made someone very angry, but I've heard of higher. Well, it being the time of day that it is, maybe we can scoot back over to the Sitt'n's Will? Or unless it's one o'clock in the morning and I just don't know. No, no, no, no. It's like mid-afternoon, I'd say,

between Travel To and From and Asking Around and the previous encounter at the Smolder Spire, yeah. Hi. That's a good use of time. One last question before we go, I'm sorry. The substance we gave you from our encounter with Dagger, did you happen to find any more information on that by any chance? I believe so.

I haven't heard anything yet. I have an occasional associate I work with who is an accomplished alchemist, who is at least confirmed that he's indeed Brumestone, as suspected, though such things, such small array is very rare and often nearly exclusively controlled by the Ostfaran Union out of Ank'arel, so.

That was the dust. Yes. But what about the, didn't we give you a vial of the slime, too? Mm. That was what I meant. Oh, my apologies. My apologies. Nothing back on that yet. Our apologies. Everyone's so sorry.

So about the gist of it. Nothing back yet. Thank you. Anyway, you're back. That's my new one. She's weak. Thank you for your time. Do you require anything else of me?

Do you require anything of us? Those that you sponsor? Well, I mean... Sponsor. I don't know, I'm just tossing it out. Hmm. Well, we'll see how the coming times ahead do. But so far, you've driven quite the capable allies. Now, stay safe.

Don't get in too deep. Thank you. Do we walk backwards first a few steps, and then turn? Okay. Thank you! I'm sorry. As everyone else is leaving.

I'm sorry. Yes. I just remembered, have you had a chance to talk to the Starlight Academy? Have you sent a letter already? I just didn't want to go there and they not know that we're. Thank you for the reminder. I'll get on that immediately. Thank you. the reminder. I will get on that immediately. Thank you.

Not to worry. My apologies, things have been a bit busy. Hectic. Yeah. Evelyn sees you back out, and the city is yours. Holy shit! You guys are into some stuff. I heard about families,

and you're after some guy named The Hanger, and you want to go to the Starlight Academy? Well, I don't want to go there. We would like to visit there, and they don't allow outsiders to look at their library. Oh, I've been in there. What? Oh.

I'll fuck with you now. You don't have to, I'm lying! Fucking lying. This is crazy. Who's the hangry? The hangry, the anger is someone who is a warrior here in the city who has some information.

Yeah, you had a little, just a little chart. They just fall out, these bats in these caves. Boy, the bacon's the worst. The ones that hurt. Yeah, the sharp ones. Yeah. Makes the eyes water. Save me.

He's a friend of a friend of a friend from overseas. I'm trying to find him. Oh. We all, most of us weren't together a week ago, so you're a new arrival to a new group. Well, I feel very lucky. It is true, though. We have, as you said, wandered into some shit, or however you put it. It is true, though, we have, as you said,

wandered into some shit, or however you put it. So I know we're trying to help you, but you might be in for it, too, if you stick with us. Yeah, I could be of service. I'm capable. Just watch me get into a fight. Ooh! Do you really want to find the Scourge.

Yeah. That's still the priority? Oh yeah, otherwise I'm just here. Did you know anything about him being beastly at times? He was a mess. Woof! Like, the odor on him. Oh my god. Like, my hair had a a good vibrant color to it.

Now it's just white. It's not at all because I'm 200 and up. 200 and up? I don't know. I stopped counting after 101. Because what's the point? I'm still so confused. The nature of your relationship with this Gurdjieff. Who is he to you?

A master craftsman. Well, at least someone with the hookup. To a master craftsman. Yeah. He didn't have a lot of nice stuff in his place, so I got a little suspicious of that part, but he seemed to be in the know. But he's a hunter.

Yeah, seems like it. I don't want him, man. So if you don't find him, you're trying to find a master craftsman to work for, to apprentice for? I would peddle my skills, but anything to survive. Survival of the fittest in this world. Got to do whatever it takes. Well, I've heard it, but it sounds like

you really want to survive by woodworking. Sure. I love working with wood. Should we get you some wood? I pull out a little twig. I got this one. I was just whittling on it while we were taking the cable car thingy. What's your favorite type of wood to work with?

Well, oak is very strong, but it's not very pliant. I like cherry wood. What's that going to be? This one? This is not preview night, okay, Orym? No sneak peeks. Well, we want to get a peek of something. No, you got to wait!

You got to earn these things! We haven't even given him our toilet. There's no patience these days. He is not an actual child. Instant gratification. Two inches taller than you. Hey, you said you're 200 and up, and then 101, how? He said he stopped counting after 101.

Yeah, hundo plus. How old do you feel? Oh, I don't know. Sometimes I feel older than time itself, and other times I just feel like everything's so new. Could be in my younger 20s. That's wonderful. Yeah. Time is something that, you know,

it's a construct that man uses to define change. So be whatever age you want, I guess. Is time different in the Fey Realm? Maybe. I don't really know. Oh. I think it just is what it is. Oh.

I heard stories. What'd you hear? I just heard stories about, you know, you can't ever tell what time of day it is, and things happen when you come and go from there. You know, years have gone by, and it only feels like a couple minutes for you. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god! Look at the pic. Wurthering Heights. Oh my god. The pic is in Wurthers. Unapproved. Blur it. Hashtag not a sponsor.

Yet. Yet. Did it have glue on it? Did you take it off and it had glue? It's not toxic. Roll to send a telegram. Oh, well, yes. I think that can happen. Sometimes I get a little bit confused with time

because maybe it's just where I'm from, but... I don't know. Just take things day by day. So do you know how old you are in Exandrian years? 112. Wow! Mm-hmm. That's amazing. You know, it's, yes, 112,

and that's my age, but I feel... I feel about 732. Whoa. It's like the opposite. Wiser, you feel. Wiser, of course, but also sometimes younger, sometimes. I guess everybody feels that way, though, sometimes.

Yeah. I don't even know why I care, but how old is the monkey? Oh. Mister? How old are you? Let's say. That landed on my, okay. Oh dear. That was better than what I was expecting, I'll be honest. Let's say he, how old do you want to be?

He's pretty smart. Mister, Mister, do you remember when... Mister, Mister. Do you remember... I bet you missed him. Do you remember when you were birthed out of the ground? Do you remember when Fearne delivered you into this world? Oh, hey, hey!

Okay, okay. So how old are you? Can you tap it out? Yeah, here we go. Yeah. Like the counting horse. Did you see Star Wars in a theater? That's always the best measurement for age.

Curls off of her, gets on the ground, takes up a hand and looks at you, and goes to Nott and goes, Did you get that? I understood absolutely nothing. It's All right. Oh, tell me. He tells you, since you found me, essentially. Okay, so since we found him,

but he was probably already who he was before this, somewhere else, maybe, so let's make you, let's make you, let's make you 42. That's a great number. Younger, older. I'm going to make you younger. Let's make you,

let's make you seven. He likes that. He's seven years seven. He likes that. He's seven years old. That works. I've been giving out ages. Curls back under your hair. Screechies, screechies. So where are you heading to?

Oh, right. I've already taken that silver out of my pocket. Another silver from all of you. Why? Why? Death by a pound. You know what? Just exposure. Just a nickel. Just going to have a nickel on you. Look, the Quorum's got to make its money somehow.

Yeah. I'm going to be a master at this after. Yeah, you're doing it again and again. Oh no. Oh no. What's that? The cars are moving. Oh no. What's that? The cars are moving. Oh god. Can you shame a Fear of Heights out of somebody?

I'm so fucking curious. We'll see. Well, the question you were talking about, I think you were talking about your brother, right? Asking about the bounties. Are you worried that if we find Artanavo,eh-Voh of Prey-O-Midali, Midala? Midali. Midali.

Midali. Midali. That they might recognize your face and take you as collateral? Oh, what if it's the same bounty hunter? Chetney, I actually hadn't thought of that. It's very smart. I thought of that, either. Can we disguise you?

We could maim you. No, thank you. I think you'll find, I think you're going to find the vibe here to be a little more chill than that. If it comes to things, this is the sort of place that gets resolved in a brawl. I don't think it's really going to be

that big of a problem. I really like that. It's a nice place. I don't think it's really going to be that big of a problem. I really like that. It's a nice place. Well, no, it's not. It's my kind of nice place. It's my kind of nice place. When was the last time you've been? I don't know. I got kicked out for something. Oh! Oh!

I don't remember. I was very drunk at the time, but I did get kicked out, but it didn't seem personal. I don't think so. I don't remember. It wasn't personal. We still have to dive into whatever is going on with you. Oh! I'll come to rest

at the bottom of the cable. Exiting once more into the smolder, Spiler, the Spiler. Sorry, I've been day drinking over here while you've been role-playing. Spiler. The familiar smell of the somewhat soot-dappled air greets you as you step out into the open afternoon sky.

The faint mist is still lingering over the city from the cold morning, and you can see what looks to be a bit of a darkened, possible storm front is on its way in the distance. But you go ahead and follow your genasi friend here to the Soot and Swill Tavern. The outside of it, you can see, it looks to definitely be a tavern,

though it looks like it's in a bit disrepair. And the wood, while it looks like it's definitely modeled to have a dark, almost burnt umber to black wood coloration. The closer you get, you realize it's just, over time, been turned to a blackish color from just the surrounding atmosphere. There's actually almost a charcoal scent

to the air surrounding it. Perhaps it may have burned at some point and was salvaged, but as you begin to make your way towards the front of it, just wait a minute. Ooh. Oh my gosh.

First of the year. There it is, yeah. You can already hear a low, rhythmic drum beat just coming from the inside. Someone is just playing a low undertone of music throughout the chamber as you hear laughter and the clinking of metallic implements of eating and drinking.

You can hear banter and shouts and the occasional grumble. And there, across the way, you can see the circular edge of the bar where a couple of patrons are currently leaning over and talking amongst themselves as they gather their drinks by whoever is serving them. As you step inside, the smell in here is strong of old stained wood, ale, charcoal,

and ancient burned interior, and just an undercurrent of faintly bathed individuals that have come in here during their work break or a day off. You can see most of the folks in here look like they're standard working class folk. Some of them maybe have come off of a mining shift and you can see the bit of soot and dark black dust that is gathered around their fingers and elbows

and the outside of their face where their masks had come off. And they're all just enjoying a bit of late afternoon merriment before they go to rest, go to work, or go home. Looks like it's happy hour. I make my way straight to the bar. Thank you. I'm going to stay by the door.

Okay. Stay in the work. The rest of you staying back with Imogen? I'll hang with Ashton, if that's all right. Okay. I'm going to hang back with Imogen. Yeah. Okay. So it's just the two of you, or is anybody going with them? I'll go up with them. Okay.

I'll stick with my mansion. And I'll stick with Imogen. Okay, got it. So the three of you begin to travel through the center. Some people glance over and give you that look of like, I've seen this guy around here once or twice. The two of you definitely draw some stares as you step through here.

Some of the folks stop their conversations and glance over, most of the eyes on you as you come rolling through. Someone leans forward with an intense look and takes a deep swig Someone leans forward with an intense look and takes a deep swig before setting the drink back down. I just once again do my thing where I poke into their vision.

It's trailing behind them and the person goes about their business and quickly ignores what they're doing. My new favorite thing. Okay. The three of you head over towards the bar. You can see the semicircle that is open on each side, and behind it, there is a large offset series of shelves

for all sort of dark glass bottles and tankards and glasses, some of them dirtier than others. You can see a whole stack of kegs and taps all set up at the side. And there in the middle of the people that are chatting at the edge of it leaning onto the point, you can see the purveyor of it

is a female hunia in her 30s or so. You can see dark brown hair that in places has streaks of a deep red. It comes forward down heavily in the front over this side of the face, and then on the back, it's just pulled over the ear and tied. They're in the process of having a lively conversation

with another patron as they go ahead and start filling a few glasses. And as soon as they begin going into a roaring laughter, she glances over towards you and goes, You back again, huh? Yeah. How bad was it last time? Wasn't great.

How expensive of a bottle would I need to buy to make it great? Checks under the counter for something. That one points over to one of the shelves and you can see there is a finer, almost like a stack of smooth baubles that create a singular little wine bottle of sorts. Though it is not wine.

There are elements of gold filigree around it and it looks of elvish make, imported, definitely. Fuck me. Oh. Come on, Norton. How much is it? 85. I have just the thing.

I have just the thing, actually. Do you? Hi, by the way, who are you? You're adorable. Oh, hi, I'm Fearne. Fearne, what are you having to drink? That bottle. I'm going to reach over. Oh god. Put my hand on the small of Ashton's back,

and I'm going to unclip the Allhammer earring that he stole from me. Oh! Ha ha ha ha! Okay. Let's roll. All right, so perception check. Mm-hmm. Sleight of hand check.

Roll A's. Roll A's! Roll A's! Even one's important. No, no, no, no, no. Let's go. I'm going to perception check this, too. Want to do this on the count of three? She already rolled.

I rolled two. Want to say on the count of three? Yeah. One, two, three. Nine. Oh! It is yours. This is... Should be... Should suffice, I think. Or is? This is, should be,

should suffice, I think. It's from the Allhammer. It was from my great-great-great-great-grandfather. Oh my god. Make a deception check. Oh shit. Great-great-great-grandfather. That's some record keeping you got there. 15. 15.

15, okay. I mean, this is well worth, this is worth much more than the bottle, but I don't want to carry it around, it's big. Your great-grandfather was a Pachydon. Mm-hmm. Who am I to question it? This is a very fine piece.

However, if we're in the business of pawning here, I'm just going to say there is a level of a take on this. I'll knock off half the price, but say another 40 gold and we're square. I'm going to give 50 gold. I might be a little more annoying before the night is over. I just want to start the apology now.

That's fine, I got plenty more bottles for you to buy before the night's done. Fuck me. Shifts it forward towards you. Better be fucking great. It's all right. We're going to have a great evening here tonight, Miss. By the way, my name is Fresh Cut Grass.

Smile of the day to you. Your name for next time we need a refill was... Whose is this? They're their own. I've been making some friends and I know. I'm aware of what that. You made friends! I'm aware of how that sounds. I'll see how long that lasts for the rest of you, but sure.

But wait. I haven't seen them in talks before. Yeah, they just do what they're going to do. I just start spinning around in a circle. They're doing that right now. Ah, that's it! Other patrons circle. They're doing that right now. Other patrons being like, oh, oh, oh, it's great. They're throwing some copper on the ground around you.

Thank you. Oh, copper. Oh. They're professionally likable. I don't know what else to say. Oh, at least one of you is. Two of you. My apologies. Oh, it's really fine. No, go, no, go.

I mean, I was just, I wanted to know your name so we could be sure to flag you down to Tipmore later. I'm Preyo. This is my establishment. You got a few tables that are open. Just don't, well, don't do anything he tells you. They're not wrong. All right. Thank you, Cali. Taking the bottle, taking some glasses.

What, does it drink, too? No. Well, kind of, no. I'll show you later if things go well. It's actually pretty entertaining. Yeah, you know where to find me. Just spin the other way. Yeah if things go well. It's actually pretty entertaining. Yeah, you don't want to find me. Just spin the other way. Yeah.

And go away. All right, what can I get you? I mean, it's like dealing with another customer that's walked in since your conversation. Do we see all that happen? From a distance. Yeah, okay. From a distance. From a distance. Awful.

So we're going to, much like a shitty day at Disneyland, we're going to claim a table as quickly as possible. Sure, sure. Whatever things. Hey, mission accomplished. We already found her. So I've done my best to smooth over

any previous engagements, so we're at a neutral point now. Broke even? More or less. I tried to start things so that when things inevitably go poorly, we have somewhere to go. But yeah, have a drink when you're ready.

Somebody who she doesn't already hate should go over there and have a conversation. Why don't we send her a shot of this? You know, lubricate her. Toast with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can all raise a glass and she can raise it, and then she can get drunk and we can ask her questions.

I can bring it over to her if she seemed enamored by me. Mm. Yeah, in my experience, people that work at bars have really strong constitutions. They can just drink and drink and drink with all the assholes late into the morning. It'd be just fine. That's true. Can confirm.

But it's a good gesture. Yeah, it would be nice either way. Yeah, it'd make her like us a little bit more, right? And this is expensive shit. How often does she get to drink this? It's true. Why am I cussing so much with y'all? Okay, I got to try this shit.

I want to see what I bought. Why am I cussing? Why am I c. Okay, I got to try this shit. I want to see what I bought. What am I cussing? What am I cussing? I have that effect on people. It's sweeter than what you like, usually, but it's not bad. It's definitely stronger than you were expecting, at least from what the bottle seems to let on.

It'll definitely get the job done if maybe, you know, spike your sugar intake for the evening. This is the worst money I've ever spent. Yeah, give her some. I am super curious. I know. For me, a glass? Is there markings on this or anything

so we can see what it is? Do you read Elvish? No. There are markings on it. Actually, I can read it. You can? I can. Just drink me. What does it say?

It says, and you see Laudna's eyes go like white with a greenish, glowish tint to it. Never going to get fucking over that. That's the fucking best. I said read it. Use your cross-eye. It is a... It's been a while since I've seen that.

It is an elf-based, like a deep plum wine liquor that is based out of the Glade Pools of Tal'Dorei. Oh, the Glade Pools. Plum wine from Tal'Dorei. Fancy. I'll just pour a little. Drinks for everyone around the town. Thank you.

Sweet. Hey, who paid for this? This is not a cheap. Is that you, Ashton? Ashton did. I did. People, right? Ashton had a little bit of help, though, over here from Fearne.

I actually didn't pay anything. Oh, really? You gave a trinket, didn't you? Oh yeah, but I don't think that's worth anything. A trinket? Oh, is that what you reached for on his back? Yeah. I'll bring, I'm going over.

All right. That's what happens when glucose gets you. Preyo, pardon me. Oh, hey there, yeah. Hi. Compliments of our table. We wanted you to have this little taster. Oh goodness, look at that. Thank you so much.

That's sweet, that's really sweet. I don't know if you're allowed to enjoy on duty. You are, you are. Killing it. No problem. How is it? Woof. I mean, it's... Probably does better when you have a cough, but I'm doing all right for now.

Oh, it's like syrupy or something? I think it'll help with the cough, that's what I mean. It was good. I'm not trying to talk to him. I appreciate the offer. It's a very sweet gesture. Excellent. Can I get you anything? Oh no, I don't consume any beverages. We're just here. We're just here. We're just here.

We're looking for somebody. Oh. Who are you looking for, little man? Oh, well, we were, oh boy. We were, you know what? I'll just cut to the chase and be honest with you, if that's all right, because, you know, yeah. We were actually trying to find

a relative of yours, a relation. Oh? Yeah. I think her name is Artana? Yeah, I don't know where Artana is these days. Oh, Artana Vo. Yeah. Yeah, yeahana Vo. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, you know, she gets around. Not a relative of mine,

but I haven't seen her around in a while. Not a relative of yours? Huh. No, no, no. I'm not, Medali's my name. Artana Vo is different. Oh. Okay, okay. Well, because we had just heard that we had just heard that she was your sister,

and so I guess the fellow who told us that sort of led us astray? Is that right? It seems to be, yeah. You know, people get things wrong all the time, and just because we're both Unia doesn't mean we're necessarily related. Sure, yeah.

I guess we should just, we should never assume, huh? Yeah, for the best. Because when you assume, you make an um of asses. That's how it goes, that one, yeah. assume you're making an um of asses. That's how it goes. That one, yeah. All right. Well, if you find out where she is, let us know. We'll be over there drinking.

Of course, yeah. No worries. If I see her around. Okay. Nice. Your passive insight is pretty decent. And as you're asking these questions, the first time it comes up, and then later when it comes up, you can't help but catch Preyo

just quickly looking over towards the kitchen and then back to you. And then back to the kitchen and back to you. Then just, you know, definitely seems to be a little tight in the physical position than when you first approached. Okay. Before relaxing once more as you head off.

Well, she liked the drink. Oh good. Then I asked her about her sister and she claimed. Straight up, just like that? Yeah, well, I panicked, so I just did it. She doesn't know where she is and claimed not to be related to her. And you believed her?

No, not exactly. I got a little something. She kept looking over to the kitchen. Now, either she's really hungry or there's someone in the kitchen that maybe she's worried about us seeing. Side glance to the kitchen. Do I see anyone in the kitchen? Side glance.

You can see the kitchen door, which is, if the bar is on the far left-hand corner as you enter, the kitchen door is on the right-hand side on the far back wall, same space where the bar is, but it's partially ajar. Is it one of those swinging doors, like a back and forth, for heavy traffic, people going in and out?

No, it looks like it closes. It's a normal door. Can I see anybody moving on the other side if it's partially open? Make a perception check. Oh! 14. 14. 14. Not too bad.

Looking in, you don't see anybody, but you can occasionally, through the din of the interior chamber here, hear the sound of a pan. Something breaks. You hear. But there's a person in there at the very least. Okay.

Chetney. Yeah? Do you think you could make it into that door without anyone seeing you? Oh, no problem. Do you want me to get in there and see which what? Not my choice to make, but. I mean, just remember, there could be a very skilled bounty hunter

on the other side of the door, so. What do I look like? I don't know, are you a skilled bounty hunter? You don't know. I've lived lifetimes. That's true. Here's another idea, though, just in case this ghost hits up.

We could always just put a bounty out on Ashton and make them come to us. Oh yeah. You mean like talk to the barkeep and say that we want- We need somebody found. Mm-hmm. And then we lie and wait. You want to use our friend Ashton as bait?

Well, I'm pretty good at reading people. It seems like they're down for pretty much fucking anything. Well, now I'm pretty good at reading people, and it seems like they're down for pretty much fucking anything. Now I'm conflicted. Fuck. It's a good tease, huh? I was about to be really angry about that. Anyway, you want to go to this room? Right now, just right now? Well, yeah.

We can get a little demonstration of Chetney's skills. I go invisible. Oh, oh shit! He watches Chetney just vanishes before your eyes in an instant. Fun! Peace out, bitches! And I slap Dorian in the face.

Don't you become un-invisible when you attack? It's like a caress. It's a caress. I'm going to walk to the bar then and get up and try and get some attention. What do you want? That was an apology bottle. Now I need something I can actually drink. Noted, all right.

Something, yeah, what do you, something with some burn. That was, I can't get the plum out of my fucking mouth. Fair enough, fair enough. He goes ahead and starts going through, looking back over the shoulder at you, seeing what would be considered your type, but also, it looks like you came into some money recently,

at least the way you brazenly walked in here. I'll find you something proper. All right. He's glancing through while you're doing that. Yeah. Roll a stealth check with advantage. 17. 17.

You skirt across the floor. You can see some individuals stand up and start making their way towards the exit. You cross past and dodge out of the way, darting through behind where Ashton is, the bar over to the edge of the far right corner of the back part of the chamber. There, you see the door partially ajar,

and you scoot in. Immediately, the room is about 10 degrees warmer. You can see above you, there are counters and tabletops. There is what looks to be a stone slab across one way. You can hear the sizzling of some sort of meat cooking. There are numerous pan handles you can see off the side. In the far edge of the room, you see a hunched, nine-foot-tall ogre

who is currently wearing a long cap that passed down their back to about mid-back. No shirt, some sort of a heavy leather apron on, and you can see grease smattered on their arms, and they're in the process of juggling different pans and filling a plate. Yeah. Does he have thick glasses?

Well. Okay, so we've got to cook. Are there any other windows or doors out of this kitchen? Make a perception or investigation check. Ooh, my choice, huh? 21. Okay, the first thing you hear is this gentle .

The ogre is whistling to himself as he's getting his work done. At one point, you see Hobbes, this large, cooked piece of ham, and half catches it, and the pot before it hits the Gjallarthor. Puts it back up in there and keeps cooking it. That's a cook.

Looking through the room, you can see all manner of utensils hanging from different hooks that are jammed up into the ceiling. You can see hanging locks of garlic and other dried herbs that have been partially carved away and utilized. To the far left, there is a table that has wheels on the bottom of one side and stoppers in the other. It looks like it's a small, almost like a serving cart

that's being used just for general storage, but it's pushed a little further away and you can just see along the wall beside it, it looks like there is a door that is meant to blend in with the rest of the room that has just enough of it pushed away from the wall where you can just see the outline of it. You do not see, at this glance,

a place to pull it open necessarily, but you do see the outline of a door that otherwise would be difficult to spot. Flat, flat, plain, no knob or anything. Just no purchase, just a crack between that and the other wall? From what you can see, there's just that heavy rack is placed up against it

and it helps blend it in there and is either holding it closed or hiding what is used to open it, but that is what you see to your left. Does it look like it's slightly ajar, like a sliding thing? It looks like it's, it doesn't look like it's sliding. It looks like it's just ever so faintly pushed away

from where its resting space is, where there's just a very faint lip of it that you see is exposed. Got it. So it's just a thin amount, so I couldn't even get through it. I have to move this fucking bookcase. You would, yeah.

Unless it's cheap wood, and I hate cheap wood. Call of Zerus. Fair enough. Is it a backless bookcase? Really cheap wood. You got that shitty board on the back. Hardcore. It's not a bitch, it's leaning. What is the Tal'Dorei Ikea?

Are there any vegetables up on the counter that I can just reach up and snag, like a turnip or a radish? What do they use to cut? Oh yeah. What cross? Oh yeah. Parsley. Yes, actually.

There are a, what's your passive perception? Passive perception! Hold on, I know what this is. It's right here, it's 11. 11, yeah. I mean, dancing around, you can see there are a number of, some carved, some still waiting to be cooked,

tomatoes and looks like radishes, potatoes and other things that are easy to grab if with a little bit of a leap from where you're standing. I'll take a radish and a tomato, one hard, one soft. While the ogre cook does not notice, they both just vanish from the counter. Nice. This one's for the theater. How to get in?

Do I just handle this all myself? Show these bitches how it's done? Or do I exercise teamwork? And who am I talking to? Are you saying something to me? Oh! No! No!

Stop! How do I sever this connection? Hello? You don't hear anything? I have more power than I thought. I will make my way back towards the kitchen door, but I'll take the radish and I'll roll it along the floor behind the ogre's feet,

kind of loudly, and see what kind of a reaction it gets. Okay. You roll it. It's in the process of holding two various cooking implements before . Oh shit. He gets his foot back and starts kicking it over to where he is, sets one down and picks it up.

Begins setting it on the counter. Okay. I'm going to creep my way back out like a mongoose. I make my way back to like a mongoose. I make my way back to the rest of the group. All right, as you all are slowly sipping your imported elvish wine. Plum wine slash liqueur. It's in that in-between space.

You're not sure which one it is. Hey! Don't act. Act normal. It's me. It's Chetney. No, yes. What did you find? I found in the kitchen an ogre.

Then he's whispering into the side of my thigh, right? Yeah. Oh my god! Oh, you're on me! His shirt's just going to fall down on his thigh. Okay, here's the dealio. There's an ogre about nine feet tall, real big, making food.

Don't eat the food. But there's a door hidden behind a bookcase. I would have done it myself, but I'm the one paying you people. So I just wanted to come back and report this. I can stay like this for a while, so I'm still of use. I'm done. I'm done talking.

Do you need a distraction? I think it's going to do it. Oh, that would be a great idea. I could probably help with that. Okay, did you want to elaborate or? I was cutting you out of the show. Should I? I don't know. What happens during the distraction?

It's usually distraction and then something else happens. What's the something else? Oh, well, I say, you know, if he's cooking at the stove, maybe I could have the stove burst into flame, like it's just gotten out of control and pops in his face a little bit. Oh. Am I back yet?

Yeah, if you feel confident that you've distracted long enough. I definitely am. Okay, then yeah, you've strolled back just as this conversation is going. How much do I owe from the bottle? That would be... Oh, I thought he was back.

That would be 12. All right. That'll do. Chetney will use the distraction to sneak through the door. And still just go by himself? What'd I miss? I'm just curious. Is anyone passing out food? Fuck.

Or just act normal? When? How? Oh, he went into the kitchen and he saw me. No, act normal. I don't know how that. Oh, right. I know you went into the fucking kitchen. Oh. I was just wondering who delivers the food.

Oh, have we seen any waiters or anything? I've seen a lot of delicious ham walk by. Oh, you don't want to eat the ham. No, the ham, okay. You have seen there are two bar hands that both bring drinks to tables and occasionally go into the kitchen when you hear a, It's up!

No specification, just it's up. Then they both look at each other and one of them heads back to check to see what is up and then emerges with various portions of meals and delivers them about the chamber. Why can't we eat the food? Well. Wait, can I see you eat? It's filthy back there.

Listen, if you just want to take out these, you know, people handing out food, then they'll be short-staffed and then somebody else will have to leave the kitchen to deliver the food. How would we take them out? Yes. Kill them? Murder? Boy, that's a lot of interpretation on your part. I just would we take them out? Yes. Kill them? Murder?

Boy, that's a lot of interpretation on your part. I just said take them out. You would be for a drink. You also just wanted to set the cook's face on fire as the other idea so. Oh, don't get me wrong. I wasn't being judgmental. I'm here for it if it calls for murder.

We're going to die. Yeah. I could try to take, sort of, with a spell, wherever you are, I could try to influence them to do something other than their duties, like leave. Oh! I also need some muscle because, like I said, there's a bookcase in the kitchen.

It has to move. I can do that, I'm just very visible here. Very visible and even normal. Yeah, we just have to find a way to get him out of the kitchen. I'm not that strong, though. I'm just fast. Is this place open all the time? What gets a cook out of the kitchen? I know.

What? You know when you go to a restaurant and you're like, I would really love to give my compliments to the chef. They bring them out. Excellent, excellent. Yes. That's a good idea. And then he'll come out. I can give him all the,

I'll eat the food, guys. I'll eat anything. So if I order the food and I'm like, oh my goodness, this is amazing. And then you guys can go in there. It's not a bad idea. Yeah, some people could go in. Some of us would still have to distract Preyo.

Preyo. I'm really interested in you, so maybe you can continue to showboat. Oh, that's right. Maybe you could put on a performance or something. Maybe the Tiny Tots can handle it. I mean, I've got guns for days. I just need one other person to help me push.

What are you laughing at? Who's the sneaky one besides, is anyone sneaky? I think we're all terribly unsneaky. We shouldn't need to sneak if it's only the chef in the kitchen. You're right, you're right. Well, so let's start by ordering a ham. Okay.

Ashton, do you think you and I can handle a bookcase with? We can get back there without being seen, sure. All right. Okay. We go up to the bar. All right, so you go ahead and approach Preyo. You finish your serving two drinks. Hey, honey, what can I do for you?

Hi, what do you have? What's on the menu? Is there a chef's special today or something of the sort? Yeah, you want a meal? We got a meal. What do you have? Whatever's in the meal for the day.

That sounds great. Okay. All right, I'll get it out to you. Another meal! So loud. It's not a happy meal, it's not an unhappy meal. It's right in the middle. Oh wow. It's not a happy meal, it's not an unhappy meal. It's right in the middle. Another meal. It's just another meal.

No maids on the box, no word scramble. It will be a toy. You can hear the sizzling commence of a fresh whatever being prepared. Just comes to the ball again. A number of minutes later, you hear a voice in the kitchen go, It's up! You see one of the servers, who's a very short goblin,

who's been darting around between the different tables and took a little break on the corner. You can see has a small bit of tobacco they just finished rolling as they're about to head outside to break a... Heads and treks back to the kitchen. Returns with a platter and you can see on it, it has, there are definitely portions in this.

There are different colors. There is a gray something. There is a brown series of somethings. And what looks like it might've been a soft rice comes over. It does smell like it was cooked and may have some flavor or enjoyment to it, but it is definitely a little nondescript

when placed upon the table. All right, here you go. Oh, thank you very much. Do you have utensils? Thank you very much. All right. Look at the neutral tones. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this.

I mean, this looks delicious to me. Don't you smell this? It smells pretty good. Should we case the perimeter while you're eating the food, just see if there's a back door or anything? Did you see a back door back there? I was inside, so no.

So you didn't see a back door into the kitchen? No, there's a door in the kitchen behind the bookcase. Was there another door? No. I'll look. I go and I look. Oh, outside the bookcase. Was there another door? No. I'll look. I go and I look. Oh, outside the?

Uh-huh. Okay. Go walk around the back. Okay. You go ahead and walk the outside perimeter and there is a very thin space to glance on the side and as you get to where the back is, there is no back alley. This is actually built partially into the spire itself.

No back door. No cellar, nothing on the sides. Not from the outside, it seems. As you begin to carve through this, oh, there is cooked ham, there is beans, there is an actual meal. It's just all covered with a loose gravy that tends to give a muted coloration

to everything on there, which in itself is quite delicious, but yes. That sounds good. It's not bad. Excuse me? Yes. Yeah, yeah? Come here, please. Is there something wrong with it? What did he do? No.

This? What is this? What all is this? It's a meal. This is one of the best meals I've ever had. Really? I just, it's all so just tasty. Do you, could you bring out the chef? What? I would love to give

my compliments to the chef. Okay. This really is award-winning stuff. As I'm hearing this, I motion to Ashton to make our way over toward where we could get to the door. I'm going to try to just eat as much as I can. It is greasy, but it, I mean, it's the southern shit I grew up with and love.

Yeah, it sounds good shit. Yeah, this is some late night Waffle House shit. It's great. Ham I grew up with and love. Yeah, it's the good shit. I'm horrible all the day drinking. Yeah, this is some late night Waffle House shit. It's great. Amity sounds fucking good. Yeah. Distract the liver. The goblin server rushes off and goes into the kitchen.

Who's doing what at this point? I'm hanging on you as we go over there with the bottle. I'm rolling in the deep. Okay, because the visibility lasts for an hour. An hour? Yeah. So you're still holding onto that. I've just got eyes on Preyo. Preyo?

I'm on distract her duty if she walks away or anything. Preyo's currently just in the process of now cleaning down the space. A few patrons have left and there's a little bit of a lull. She's back at the bar? Yeah. Okay, I'll zoom over. Fresh, fresh. Bottle trick, if you need to.

Bottle trick? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, good idea, good idea. That is. Hey there, honey. You going to shoot anything else? Oh, I just had a bottle trick I wanted to show you. Okay, show me a bottle trick.

Well, it's a work in progress. I just thought maybe you could give me some pointers, having run an establishment like this for quite some time. Sure. I'll put the bottle on my head. Okay. That's an interesting take on the bottle trick. Well, there's more to this trick.

You just hold on because it's pretty impressive. I will try to zoom forward and zoom back with just balancing it on my head. The bottle. That wasn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. First, make a dexterity saving throw.

That's a natural 20. Yes! At first, it looks like it's about to tip back and you compensate. Then at this point, it begins to lean in the other direction and you compensate. As opposed to just keeping it in place, you are continuously keeping it right about to fall,

which builds this perpetual tension and everyone around the bar on the edges start going like, Whoa, whoa, whoa! All of a sudden, people start joining in. Whoa, whoa! People are, the stupid-ass trick somehow is gaining attention.

Killing it, I'm not mine! And Fade-O's just on the edge going like, I don't know what I was expecting, but sure. While this is happening. It's a Boston Dynamics video. Towards the other side of the joint, so that we're in place for when the chef exits. Right at this moment, as this is happening,

the goblin comes rushing out. Who wants to see me? Jesus. Oh, wow. Me. Pfft, pfft. It's wow. Me. Pfft, pfft. It's just battling over. People are scooting out of the way on the table.

She'll pull back, it's like, off the wood across the way. Big smile on the face. You can see the lower, under-body of the ogre peering beneath this giant grin. The grease and sweat across the face and that one long hat dangling and swaying to and fro as it bounds over towards you.

At that moment, Preyo glances over and then everyone focuses, you roll a natural 20, it focuses back on you. Is it okay? I have to tell you, this is one of the best meals that I've ever had. She just tears being rolled up in his eyes. Oh!

I love him. What's your name? Oh! I love him. Oh, yeah. It's you. What's your name? My name. Pretty. Pretty? Pretty? Pretty or Brady? Pretty.

Pretty? Oh, so pretty. Oh my god. I just have to ask you, what are the ingredients that you use? Is there cinnamon in this? Yeah. I thought so.

What else? What else? This is an old family recipe, isn't it? Oh. Sure. Tell me everything, isn't it? Oh. Sure. Tell me everything that's in it, please. Well. Okay. First, I cook a lot of meat fat. Okay.

Then I mix it with the oil. Oh, great. You know what? Hold on, I got to write this down. Oh, it's a secret recipe. Oh, that's true. You shouldn't take all the secrets. I'm kidding. Okay, okay. I don't have to.

I have a tissue. Yeah. Here, have some plum. Here. Have some plum wine. Have some of our liqueur. Oh, he's going to get sloppy. It's very sweet. It's really good. So I need to start going on about this.

You guys are, what are you doing? Are we doing this? You're doing it! Yeah, pass without a trace. Ooh, thank you. All right, so I would like those who are heading towards the kitchen to roll a stealth check, please.

You with advantage. For our little mom. For our little mom. All has pass without a trace. These four? Yeah. Thank god. mom. Ball has passed without a trace. These four? Yeah! Thank god. 20. Oh, pass without a trace? 32!

Dirty 20 with plus 10. Plus 10. 30. Dirty 30. 15. 18. Plus 10? Oh yeah, plus 10 rolled up. 18. 18, okay. Still pretty decent across the board. There is some heavy distractions

between the kitchen chef being left outside and lightly blubbering in a public space, which is a very rare sight in this establishment, let alone the oddest of circus acts transpiring in the center of this dive bar, which is not usually this lively at this hour. But you all trek around, skirting the crowd, blending in, and then pass through

the open door into the kitchen, where you are met with the smells of cooking oils and meats and garlic and other delightful, hefty meal bits. And here you are. Let's do this. I quickly walk over to the bookcase and I tap it, because you can't see me.

Then I'll look in the little bit of the door that's seen. Do I see any kind of traps or any contraptions that might set off an alarm? Investigation check. The rest of you see, well, maybe a bookcase to Chetney is just a serving cart with the wheels on one side. Oh my god.

Is your perspective just that limited? Yeah. It's about three and a half feet up, almost like four feet up at the chest, like there. Chetney, Chetney, where's the bookcase? I can't quite see above this. You've got to get your instruction, but it's here. I don't see it.

Everyone, get back! There are three! Where in the room are you? You can hear the sound. What'd you roll? 25. Oh my god. 25. The door, as you glance past, you can now get a good look behind the small gap.

It looks like there is a single metal ring that rests as bolted into the door that is pretty flush with the cart placement to keep it hidden. You do also see a small keyhole beneath it. Oh! Hold on, I got to work. Can I reach the keyhole from where I am,

or is it through the? You can. It's a little rough if you don't move it out of the way. Help me move this gargantuan. Orym. Please. You want help moving? Yeah.

It's no longer in your way. My gods. You are a man of unparalleled strength. The Glamor Lock! All right, go ahead and roll a pick locks check with your, once again, dexterity and proficiency modifier. Ugh. That is a 12.

A 12. Not great. That was really low. It's not given. It's not given. Shit. Oh no. Oh shit. What's the... Goddamn it. What's a thieves' Tools roll again? If you're proficient with them.

They're on my, I believe so, it's under my tools, so I would just do my- It's under your tools, but it's under proficiencies. Oh, where are my proficiencies? Uh. It just says languages, it doesn't say proficien- Oh, wait, there you are. Yeah, it's proficiencies, tools,

it's Disguise Kit, Thieves' Tools. Yeah, it's proficiencies, tools. It's Disguise Cat Thieves tools. Yeah, then yeah, go ahead and roll your proficiency bonus and your dexterity bonus. Okay. Dexterity save. Dexterity bonus. Bonus. Yeah. Oh, so, all right. First time I really got that. Modify.

That's hot. Bing! That's worse, but that's okay. Both of the things that could have been. Uh, the boo boo boo boo boo boo. 11. This lock is not moving for you. It doesn't look like it's a complicated lock, but for some reason, it's eluding both of your minds

and your tools at the moment. You can hear the sizzling of food that's now in the cook's absence. It's beginning to maybe get close to burning. I'm going to hop over and flip it. Okay. Oh, nice. Is Pretty making a lot of noise still now with the group?

You glance throughout the area, you can see Pretty is on his knees in the ground, holding Fearne's hand in his, and you can see intense conversation the two of them as right now, he's like, Then when it's close to being done, then you just slather it with all the gravy. That's how you do it.

And you let it sit for two, three minutes so it just congeals. Okay. Oh, good stuff. All right, so what are you doing? Checking you need to hurry up. Cannot possibly take that long to describe what this is. There you go. I'm trying, I'm trying. Fucking hurry.

Yeah, okay. Can I try one more time at a higher DC or something? I don't know. If you want to try one more time, but I will say, you've both failed doing this once, which means not only is your DC extremely high, but you're at risk of breaking your tools if you fail. We could just force it. Yeah. You failed doing this once, which means not only is your DC extremely high, but you're at risk of breaking your tools if you fail.

We could just force it. Yeah. Okay, we can't get it open. Keep yelling at each other. What are you doing? Through the fucking doors. What are you doing? I want to try and force it. Shh.

That would be better. I'm still cooking. Okay, do it. Okay. Let me try one more time and then you can just fucking wreck it. Yep. Maybe we'll get lucky. It was burning. I'll just try one more time and then you could just fucking wreck it. Yep. Maybe we'll get lucky. It was burning. I'll just try one more time.

Oh! That's a 26. Oh! 25 was the DC. Oh! After all that. So at a moment, you feel one of the picks beginning to bend and you're like,

oh no, no, that's not good. And you just managed to slip the second tool underneath and it manages the pressure that's bending it to give. The final tumbler goes and it pulls slightly away from the wall. No problem, let's move. All right. All right, so who's doing what?

Are we all going? I'm going in. It is, and it's a swing or it's a slide? It's a swing. Swing, got it, okay. It just pulls a little bit further away from the wall. It's not fully open. Visit the old man, you first. Okay, I'll go. All right, who's after you? Me.

Okay, then after you? Yeah, I'll go after Orym. Okay, so as you rush in, followed by Orym and the rest of you. Hurtful guys. Hurtful guys. You guys stuttered sometimes. You all immediately dart into this room that is low-lit. You can see that there is one oil lantern

that's set on a table that's dimly lighting the space. The room is about 10 foot by 15 feet. It is a small room. You can immediately, glancing around, you can see all sorts of storage crates and boxes and looks like burlap bags filled with grain or rice. This is a kitchen storage area.

You also see a cot. And on this table where there is the lantern, you see a figure that is sitting there currently in the low light. You can see a woman, maybe late 20s or so, who is Unia. You can see the elven ears and the orcish features giving her this unique, almost strikingly beautiful combination of both features.

Very slender build and dark leather armor and a cloak that is dark green, nearly black. Heavy belt with a number of pouches and tools around it. You can see there are black gauntlets that are resting on the table, along what looks to be a mostly empty plate. As soon as you all step in and glance and see them, they immediately look up,

and reach over and grab a heavy crossbow and aim it right towards you, who the first that walked in, as you all gather in, the three of you are right there. SAM and SAM and SAM and she goes to aim and we're going to go to break. You, who are the first that walked in, as you all kind of gather in. The three of you are right there. And she goes to aim, and we're going to go to break. Because we're there. We'll pick up at this spot here in a few minutes.

We'll see you guys here shortly. Oh, hey there. Laura Bailey here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories. Our stores are filled with the basics like character inspired T-shirts, dice sets and pins, as well as more specialty items like fancy jackets, puzzles featuring gorgeous artwork, the comfiest joggers and pajamas ever, and much, much more. There's also a few special items that support charity efforts, like our dedicated Critical Role Foundation merch. You can check out all of our regional online stores by visiting the Shop tab on CritRole.com, or head straight to the U.S. store at shop.critrole.com. Every purchase helps support our shows and the stories we tell. Speaking of which, let's get back to the story.

And welcome back. So, as we left off. Oh god, that's right. While many of you are running distractions in the Soot and Swill Tavern, our troop of an invisible Chetney, a Dorian Storm, an Orm of the Ereshari, and an Ashton. Oh shit.

What do you mean? Are rushing into the back hidden chamber that is affixed next to the kitchen. As you dart in in the darklit room, you're immediately faced with a figure, cloaked, standing up and pulling a heavy crossbow on you all, finger on the trigger, tension held in the air.

Please don't shoot. What? Whoa. Definitely don't want to fight. Why should I not? You see the other hand reaches back for a blade. Just want to talk, looking for Artanevo. Make a persuasion check. Come on.

Big money. Invisible. I can't see it. It looks real low, though. And my roughly much. How do you roll such a tiny die? My nondescript tablet is turned off. Oh no. It's real low, though. Let's just cut. Super low.

Take it back. Trash just cut. Super low. Take it back, trash it. Total of four. Scarbage. Total of four. Oh no. That's what the rolls are doing, right? They're bad, right? I don't know what you're talking about. Does a 19 hit you? Uh, just.

Oh no. Just. Just, wow, okay. Take it, take it. You take eight points of piercing damage as you have your shield up and the bolt releases from the heavy crossbow. It hits the shield, arcs up, and catches you on the side of the chin

and then sticks into the wall behind you. Believe it or not, still don't want to fight. Still, still don't want to fight. I step in front. At this point, you watch the heavy crossbow fall to the side, the hand catches another bolt, spins it around, and in one movement, turning it around, pulls it back, has it at the ready,

and has now geared it over towards you, Dorian. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. We just want to talk. I got a bolt in my chin. I'm not swinging, we just want to talk. I got a bolt in my chin. I'm not swinging. We just want to talk. Then talk, quickly.

We're looking for Artanavo. That you? Maybe. What do you want with her? Chet? Still here? Whatever you say. It had better be good.

I'm such a dick. All right. We need to clean. Oh! So gross. Does a 14 hit you? It does not. You watch as she fires, but slightly to the left, the bolt into the wall next to you.

It was a warning shot. I missed it. Oh. Gurge. Gurge. Oh, for fuck's sake. We're looking for, for fuck's sake, we're looking for a friend, a friend of a friend who went missing.

We're just trying to help a buddy out. There's a lot of weird shit going on and we just need a little bit of fucking help. Gurge. We're just trying to help a buddy out. There's a lot of weird shit going on and we just need a little bit of fucking help. Gurge. We're trying to find Gurge. Gurge. Fuck. His name. Crossbow still pointed at Dorian.

You're not going to find Gurge here. I know that. We need help! What do you have to offer? Fuck, I don't know that. Hold on. We haven't gotten that far. What do you need? What do you want? Why don't you fucking talk, you asshole? We have money!

I'm closer to her and to the left. I've just kept going. Oh. Yeah. With disadvantage, because you are invisible. Ooh, that's going to be another 14 hit. Missus! Oh, you got me!

Let it drop. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've had this affliction my whole life. Listen, I'm looking for Gurge. He's a friend. I'm just trying to find him so I can get some work. Please, we don't want to bother you very much. We can give you money.

We don't want to bother you anymore. Just if you could point us in the direction of where. Put it on the table. How much? What have you got? It's kind of an open-ended question. How about 25 gold? He points it back over towards you.

30, 30, 30 gold! I have more gold as well. Put it on the table. All right. You see 30 gold appear I have more gold as well. Put it on the table. All right. You see 30 gold just appear on the table. Bling! I swear to fuck, Chetney, if I find out you have more money than that.

How about you, big boy? You're going to be dead in like 10 years. Just fucking put it there. I've got that. I could at least match it. I think, I think. And may I? Match it. Okay. Walk slowly over and pull out 30 gold,

set it next to Chetney's. All right. You also see a small wooden rocking horse appear on the table. Thanks. Still drawn, grabs the chair, drags it back towards the back of the chamber, so her back is towards the cot,

goes and slowly sits in the chair, but keeps the heavy crossbow aimed at you across her lap, and just keeps eyes darting amongst all of you. I was hired to find them and I did it. He's not with me anymore. Where'd you take them? My client has privileged information.

She glances back at the table. I can tell you I was told he was a threat the minute he entered the city. Apparently word got around. Wildman Gurge was returned to the civilized streets. My client paid me very well and emphasized to be brought back alive. 15 more gold appears on the table

and does the poker chip to form a new tower. I'm still trying to decide how much I like this motherfucker. Please! I'll put another 100 down if you can tell us where we can lock onto them. What are you at? Make a persuasion check with advantage.

Hey. Come on. Natural 20. Oh! Plus? Plus nothing. Okay. I'm going to let you guys die. What?

Fuck. Aw. Holy fuck. to do a first die. What? Fuck. Aw. Holy fuck. Show me what you got. Sick. Shield and sword down, and slowly pull out a sack, and I count out 50 for me,

and put in 103 gold on the table. My client was Vali Dertrana. Vali's the business commissioner of the Mirror Towers in the Core Aspire. Works out of the Moon Tower. Oh god. I haven't done much for him before, but when a client is shifty about details, especially when they can get me killed, I hold no loyalty.

So there you have it. Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Vali Detrana, over at the Moon Tower. She was at what? We were obviously never here. Side question, if we ever needed your services, what would that run us? Depends what services you're looking for.

Yeah, yeah. How much would it cost to bring in Gurge? Gurge here? Well, knowing what I know now, eight Gs. It's not a typical mark, that one, and if you're looking for them, you best be careful.

Okay, okay. Well, we'll table the collaboration. Is that extra 100 worth any advice or tips? I don't deal with people like him often. In fact, only once before. Just don't get bitten. Okay. Gang, are we good?

Is there anything in the room on the tables away from where Artana is of any value or interest? Roll a perception check. Oh my. Roll that check. Got two kleptos now. Oh wow. 17. You're so shiny. You see around Artana,

both on the table, on the belt, and on the edge of the cot, there are all manner of strange tools and knives and hooks. It looks like they could be torture implements, they could be hunting implements, they could be hunting implements, they could be used for cleaning creatures, skinning creatures, or making someone yell in pain if they need to.

You're uncertain as to the purpose. Not too dissimilar to a lot of your chiseling tools, just a little nastier looking. Beyond that, it's hard to tell in this low light. Most of the rest of the chamber appears to be storage for all manner of cookable goods. I start slowly backing out of the room. It looks like you work with your hands.

I respect it. Dorian, you got something you want to say? You want to ask? As long as you don't shoot me, is that fair? Have you heard of a large bounty, 20,000, on a security detail that went wrong? Something perhaps put up by the Treshi family? Yeah. detail that went wrong. Something perhaps put up by the Trashee family. Yeah?

You do kind of match a certain description that came across my path. And does it seem to be a popular bounty in the bounty hunting community? Message points. Chalene's forehead gives you a good, hard look from tip of head to bottom feet. Real familiar description.

Oh. Hi. No. We wouldn't be asking if that was the thing. Yeah, no. That would be some crazy shit. Strange things have happened. Meal tickets walking into my lap.

We all have family, right? And we want to protect our family, don't we? I have nine friends here who I consider family. Make a persuasion check. Here's that I have 50. Eight. Math is hard. Oh, 50, does that help? Does that help?

The silent Bertrand Bell. As he looks over you. He's in my pocket in a greasy bone mask. That's true, yeah. I roll a persuasion check. All right. 50 gold, I got an extra 50 gold. Yeah.

Oh, wait, oh no, no. That's a 12. Oh, thank god, yes. 15. 15. That's why I'm there. Yeah, I'd be pretty brazen for a mark familiar with their own bounty to walk in here against me. But you say family.

I take it you're related to this mark? Oh, in a very broad sense, yes. I'll bet you tell your friend. Sorry, your friend, sorry, your family, to get her to town real quick, if he's still here. I'm not the only hunter on the loose, and I don't know, it seems like this is the first lead I've got.

She's reading your face intently. If he's still here. It wouldn't pan out the way you think. We appreciate your candor. All right, then. Hope we don't meet again. Pleasure would definitely not be mine. Out.

Some of your tools need sharpening. Try the meal when you get a minute. I'll close the door. Close the door behind you. Anyway, I'm sorry. I got to get back to work. It's just that it's been such a pleasure to spend time with you.

It really, truly has. You too. Thank you very much. Look. Yes? I may be called pretty, but you are. Oh, pretty. You just have, your heart is as big as you are.

It's very swollen. I just can tell. Yeah. Yeah. He's just. I just can tell. Meow. He's just. Have we seen our friends come out of the kitchen yet? Not yet. The rest of you step out of the room and at that point, you hear the heavy footfalls

approaching the kitchen of the cook. Do something. Brady! Yeah? What are you doing later? Oh no. Working and then sleeping. What time do you get off?

He's back over to his boss. That's not happening. He looks back over at his boss. He's like, I know you might hear that. Two hours after sundown. Two hours after sundown. Pretty? A few hours after sundown. Pretty. Do you want to go on a date?

With you? Anybody at this table. What? I mean, whoever you want to go. I don't know. We could all go. It could be an unmet tribal. Just make it a full group hang. I just didn't type of thing. It says, you know, the three of us are sitting at the table still, right?

It's the three of us. He goes back and gives a big old thumbs up to his boss at the tavern front. Brayen goes, They like the meal. I mean, go get it, buddy. He gives you a chur. We'll meet you out front.

It's a date. Have they come out yet? They're now. I think you guys can do a stealth check if you want to be unseen as you exit. Pass without a trace to look? It's still, how long does it last? 10 minutes, right?

No, it passed without a trace. Is it 10 minutes or an hour? One of the two. I don't know, which one was that? It's been a while. One hour. One hour, there you go. Concentration. I didn't get shot. That's true, you're good.

31. Whoa. 32. 20. I roll real bad. Plus 10. Fuck, natural one. Plus four, plus 10, four, oh, okay, 15. Natural one. Natural one. Doesn't matter, right?

I love watching you caress the dice. It is a group check. You rolled a 20, you said? Mm-hmm. Let me see. I'm going to, sorry. 32 and a 31. 32 and a 31, that was two successes, two failures. Whoa! On a a 31, that was two successes. Two failures.

Whoa! On a natural one, it's two failures. Then you're on the cusp, we'll see. But Fresh Cut Grass is still doing his bottle trick. Yeah, and you know what? All the time! No disrespect to you, the charm's worn off a little. Folks are going back about their business.

It's just not kept warm. At a certain point, it just doesn't grasp the same attention. I went side to side for a while, now diagonal. Yep. But that's all I got. Second verse, I am the first. As you all scoot out of the kitchen

and back into the riffraff of the chamber, looking across to your friends, as, stepping aside, a big hand palms the side of your shoulder and pushes you during out of the way. Move aside, shift got to finish. And he charges back into the kitchen with a renewed vigor. It does not seem like there is a lot of eyes

noticing your return, luckily. But as you reconvene at the table, you see your friends finally return. Let her go. That was expensive. You're bleeding. Oh, you totally have an arrow in your chin. Oh, wow. It wasn't sticking in your chin or...

The whole time, just... Centimeters from your jugular. I'm like, whoa! It's okay. I forgot. I'm going to wander over to Fresh Cut Grass and grab my bottle. All right, thank you. I can stop that now?

Oh yeah, well done. Good job. Good job. We could go if we want to. We found out what we needed. Who's saying that? No, we got a lead. We. We found out what we needed. Who's saying that? We got a lead. We should probably get out of here soon. Okay, we just have to be back in two hours.

What? What? We have a date. With? All of them are going on a date with the cook. Pretty is his name. He's very sweet. He was so nice. So nice. He was very, very nice. Yeah. Okay. Wasn't the outcome I was expecting.

What did you guys get? A shot, mostly. A name, location. For good old Gurge. You can't see me. Oh, right. Did you just say that out loud? Yes. I take an elbow

to wherever I heard that coming from. Ah! Asshole! Damn it. Well, let's go. Yeah, let's get out of here. Are you all right? Hmm? You look very... Distracted.

Pensive. Distracted. I just thought we had the drop on them, and they ended up getting the drop on us. Walked right into it. I think all things considered, we did all right. Vicki, but we really need to be back here in two hours? Yeah. We can't stand him up. He's too nice.

Absolutely. He's got a good soul. He really did. Would chasing him? He's just an outcast, and I know, I mean, we all know what that's like, and that would be just so mean. God's love of Kirk.

It's two hours past sunset. Sunset's probably about three hours off, so. Three hours away. Oh, great. Five hours, technically. Five hours away. Two hours past sunset, three till sunset, so five hours. Got it, got it, got it. Nine friends plus three sunsets equals math.

Yeah, five hours. Got it. One adventuring party leaves at 60 miles an hour, you know. I hated those. I'd say go shopping, but all of the shops down here fucking suck. Yeah. I mean, they're here, but they suck.

Where was the lead? Oh yeah, where did she send you guys to? Moon Tower and the Core Spire. Core Spire. Core Spire. Core Spire. All right. Which is how, is there a connection to the Core Spire from the Smolder Spire?

Correct, yeah. All the different spires connect to the Core Spire and a handful of them have premium contacts between them. That costs more, but they all connect to the Core Spire and that's when it uses a junction point between all of them. That's where the theater was. Yeah, the Core Spire's got all the shit.

Yeah. Also, let's not forget, we have to go back to the theater to pick up our memberships. Oh, that's right. We had to make up the card. Had to sign for that. The dance card is so weird fucking weird. It's true. Maybe we have time to catch a show card. Oh. Had to sign for that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The dance card is so weird fucking way. It's true.

Maybe we have time to catch a show between our date. I don't think so. Maybe you could take them there on the date. Oh! Oh, that would be so cute. That's a brilliant idea. That would be really sweet. Yes. Five birds, two stones, I don't know. Are you still in the?

We're heading to the Core Spire. All right. Everyone mark off a silver piece for the return trip. Someone spot my wand off. Did you just say that? Oh. I'm paying for an SDG. Okay, never mind. I was just going to take another hit.

That's okay. You've got so much money. That was almost half of what I have. You're very generous. Was that almost half of what you have? Yeah! Insight check. 13. Yeah!

Nice. Just making sure, you're weird. All right. As we're leaving, getting called out Just making sure, you're weird. As we're leaving, getting called out on being distracted, and they're chit-chatting about their date, all Dorian can think about is that woman in a fucking dark corner, realizing he just gave information about himself and his brother,

and every instinct in him wants to go back there and just fuck her up, but he doesn't. He stays with his friends for now. Okay. Just focusing and staring forward as you all continue your return gondola trip to the Core Spire, shaking slightly along the way. Oh no!

Oh my! We should probably relay some of the stuff that was said. I mean, Artana said some messed up shit. You did? No, the bounty hunter. What, what, what, what? Do you want to relay it all?

Oh shit. Well, I'll relay it all, but there was, I mean, she said, as long as you don't get bit. What does that, what do you mean? By what? Bit by what? By the beast. Yeah, Gurge. By Gurge. What is?

Oh! Is he? Like he's got, you know, some sort of infectious. Direwolves? He said, someone said, he's a wild person, wild man? Yeah, he either was turned into a beast or becomes a beast. Maybe he becomes.

Did you ever see him turn into anything? No, no. By the light of a full moon? No. He smelled terrible, though. Like werewolves and stuff like that? You only have the information you've been given. I know, but would there be lore of werewolves or something?

There's definitely folktales about it. You've never encountered one, but people speak of distant stories. Occasionally in Marquet, there are tales of people that transform into beasts the light of a full moon. Some that go wild and just end up murdering folks. Some that end up being hunted down as destroyers of villages,

but they all seem old and you assume used to scare the children. You could have been a gnome werewolf, Travis. You blew it. Shit! Reset, back to one. Wait, you said he smelled, what does he smell like?

Like urine. I don't know if I know what that is. A little fecal matter? A little fecal? Oh, oh. Pee and poo. Yeah, and just be oh. I think he was one of those au naturel people. Doesn't like to offset the natural musk.

Sure. But I just figured that's from the wilderness stuff now that I'm putting it together like a jigsaw puzzle, one piece at a time. The picture becomes clearer. Dinky. together like a jigsaw puzzle, one piece at a time. The picture becomes clearer. Dinky. And this bounty hunter said that he was, Gurge was delivered to the Moon Tower, is that right?

Yeah, the full name was Vali, what was that? Vali De... DeTrona? DeTrona. DeTrona. And that's who ordered the hit or the capture? Correct. Delivered alive. They're the business commissioner of the Mirror Towers.

Business commissioner. Head of business. Moon tower? Within the Moon Tower of the Mirror Towers. Is it Mirror Towers or Mirror? It's the Mirror Towers. Now, that's a space that you know of and you may have heard of,

but none of you have really been to. It's further towards the top of the Core Spire, which you get closer to the Quorum Grounds. And while a number of, I'd say close to a majority of the Mahon houses live on the Lucent Spire, a number of them do reside and do their business, as well as a number of the guilds

up towards the top of the Core Spire, overlooking the rest of Druesar and the surrounding jungle. Is the Core Spire the tallest? It is the second tallest. The Aerie Spire, which is where the Conservatory and the Skyport is, is the tallest, but it's also a lot thinner,

and most of its construction is towards the top of it, as opposed to the Core Spire, which is almost throughout the entire spire itself. So who knows anything about the Moon Tower? Ashton? I've never fucking been there, I don't know. The Aery Spire? We're going there now? No, we're going to the Core Spire.

Oh, there we are. To the Mirror Tower of the Core Spire. Of the Moon Towers. No, we're going to the Core Spire. Oh, okay, we're going there. To the Mirror Tower of the Core Spire. Of the Moon Towers. No, the Moon Tower of the Mirror Towers. Of the Core Spire. Oh my gosh. You've been here in August, but you haven't gone there because why?

Is it fancy or something? What do we know anything about if it's fancy? You would know that a number of guilds actually carry the core of their business within, what you've heard are the Mirror Towers. You've never been there. You're not quite sure what a Moon Tower is. You've generally not wandered that far up

because you haven't had a reason to, but you know that apparently it's a place of guild business and that's about it. Do you want to roll a history check for any additional info, just in case? I wonder if we're going to get kicked out. They're really particular about people they let wander into these places. No.

That was just in case I'm wrong. We got to sneak in and get Gurge for Chetney, right? Or else we don't get right? They said they can. Or else we don't get toys. They took him alive. All right. Which is interesting. Why wouldn't you put it like that? Because, I mean, Business Commissioner makes sense.

She wants to take him out if she's afraid that he's going to cause any panic or scare and detract from local business. She wanted him alive. But she wanted him alive, right? Why not just take him out? I mean, Chetney, is this guy a real bad guy? Is he a criminal? Has he killed people?

Are we trying to let a killer free? Yeah, we're talking about now going to bust out a werewolf man from an ivory tower so that he can recommend you for an apprentice carpenter job? I mean. Is that what's happening? This is a bit absurd at this point. Yeah, I mean, you could just slum it with us.

And I say that as someone who just dumped 100 gold for you. Yeah. But still. I could pay you back half of that. I just want my wooden toy. I guess we're just curious if there's another route to the same outcome. Or another layer that perhaps you haven't revealed

to us yet about the importance of this gentleman. I don't know enough about him. I didn't know he killed anybody, and I didn't know he was a beast or a wolf or bear, lion, whatever the hell he is. I just, I don't know. Maybe we can find out a little bit more, but you're kind of right.

It's all a little frustrating. Aw. Was he a friend to you? Yes, why are you so dedicated to this cause? Well, when I left Uthodurn, I left all the years of work that I had done behind and a bit of a career, all just up in smoke.

I thought that might be the end of my crafting days. I suppose it could be again, but it makes me real happy. And he seemed to understand that I had skills that are rare, and the people that pointed me in his direction said that he was the key to higher clientele. I took it on faith.

I'm sorry I don't have more answers. That's really all I have, but it sounded pretty good at the time. Oh no, it's nice to be believed in. Sometimes it's very special when it comes around. Can I roll an inside check? Sure. Shifty carpenter, man.

13. 13. Can I roll a deception check? You may, if you'd like. Wait, what is it? It's just fucking one of the rest. Travis is just, man. 13. 13. Can I roll a deception check? You may, if you'd like. Wait, what is it here? Travis is just fucking with us. 21! It's all lies, Imogen. It seems. I want to wear your skin for a hat.

You can just ask me! I say that in my head. She has nice skin, honestly. I said that in my head. Oh, the skin part honestly. I said that in my head. Oh, the skin part? Yep. Thought it was that. Did you just blurt out,

she has nice skin out of nowhere? Because I'm like, what the fuck? Lock up now! Shit! She has nice skin. It's just a note. In your head, you hear. In the ether.

There's got to be more to this, Chetney. Out loud, you hear, I'm sure there is. I don't to be more to this, Chetney. Out loud, you hear, I'm sure there is. I don't know any more than that. That's literally all I have. Truly. We can just leave it. I don't want anybody getting hurt

and I don't want you being out more money. Well, in this beast's defense, we have heard that the people down below think highly of him, which doesn't jive with him being a crazed murderer. Tell you what, the ladies have a date in three or four hours. Why don't we just visit, look around? What's the worst that could happen?

We don't need to go invading a tower tonight. That would be most generous of you. I would take you up on that. I mean, if that's okay with the ladies. What? Nothing. Nothing at all. Are you going to go on a little boy date while we have our date?

You don't want to come with? I mean. Oh, wait, what? What? I was distracted. It's like four hours away, your date, right? Yeah. I was just saying maybe we all go have a look around. Yeah. Oh, all right. Up at the top of this fire.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go. Not invade a tower tonight, but just get laid in the land. What is the Moon Tower? Isn't it weird that they have a gurn tower? Is there a sun tower and a moon tower? Maybe that's the mirrors.

Maybe the moon makes them come alive. I think that's a good point. Let's go find out. Yeah. Yeah, let's go find out. So you have spent most of your time within the Core Spire, in the central mid-range

of its spiraling main streets. Following where you know it's supposed to be, you begin to head further and further up. As you do, you cross by beautiful gardens, these tree-covered, constructed elements of the most beautiful aspects of the surrounding jungle cultivated to be a welcoming presence here in the middle of the industrial city.

Continuing further upward, you pass a massive waterfall that cascades from the top of the industrial city. Continuing further upward, you pass a massive waterfall that cascades from the top of the spire, which is odd given the fact that there is nothing feeding a waterfall from that far up in a spire this thin. But it cascades down the side of the spire and spreads into a series of rivers that scatter across and then spill off the side of the spire,

down, turning into mist waterfalls below. And you begin to realize that there are certain portions of the Core Spire Street below where there's perpetual mist flow, and you now know its source. It's from this upper portion. There are bridges that lead over each of these small rivers. Continuing onward and keeping an eye bound,

you do eventually find, rising against the stone spire wall to your left, a heavy gate that surrounds a guarded courtyard that holds up four beautiful polished towers of marble and limestone that climb to a droplet-like peak, each of them at different heights. Heavy vine cover climbs up the sides of each tower,

the peripheral edges carefully manicured to frame the warmly lit arched windows that adorn these towers in different ways. You can see the base of each tower expands into almost a small compound with its own interior set of chambers. You can see sets of stone archways that dot the courtyard, where different pillars and statues mark waypoints

and paths between them, set with nearby benches. This is a beautiful space, cultivated, gated. And you can see there's probably four wardens that are just keeping perimeter or standing watch at the front gates that lead into the interior of this space that glancing about, you get the sense this is likely the Mirror Towers, as the bit of now starting to press into sunset lighting

is gleaming off of their polished exteriors strongly and catching the surrounding neighborhood in bright flickering lights that occasionally shift and shimmer, almost like you're underwater. Do any of them obviously look like it would be the Moon Tower? Not from this distance. And you said they're laid out in a geometric kind of?

There's two of them that are the closest, and then there are two more behind and further apart that are not quite up against the spire itself, a little bit further away from it to allow green courtyard to surround it. There are trees and bits of jungle brush that have been carefully manicured as well, similar to the gardens you've passed by.

You can see the stone pathways between and through these arches that creates this interior space. There's probably about a dozen or so people. You can see some that are sitting and talking in elements of this courtyard, others that are walking from one tower to another. You see one set that exits from the front gate and give a nod to the guard as they head further up

the spire into buildings above. Are there some mergs around or anything patrolling? There are, glancing around, actually make a perception check for me. Ooh. Mm-mm, nine. Nine. At a glance, you see maybe two or three

that are in the sky, not directly scanning overhead, but three that are in the sky, not directly scanning overhead, but three that are at a quick glance around within 300 or 400 feet of your location, just glancing over the city. Excuse me, ma'am. We're visiting and everyone is set to come get a look at these towers.

I'm sorry to intrude, what can you tell me about them? They're beautiful. This older woman with what looks to be a soft monocle that sits over the bridge of the nose with a chain that links to her earring. You can see her hair is heavily curled and then held underneath with a pin to where it gives this almost almost braid bob look to it.

She has a high V-collar coat that goes over the rest of her outfit. She looks very well-dressed and a lot of jewelry. Her dark tan skin and this creased smile peeks up. Oh, of course. These are indeed the Mirror Towers. This is where a number of the guilds do their business and where the Quorum occasionally holds meetings

outside of their main halls at the peak of the spire. Where are you from? Well, we're old friends, but we're from all over. Some of us live here, but some are coming from overseas, even. Hmm. Well, welcome to Druesaur, those of you who are from afar, from here,

and I hope you enjoy your stay in our beautiful city. Oh, thank you. Do they do the same thing in all four of these? Oh, different business. It shifts from time to time. It is often a place where diplomats and visitors on official business will come and stay and have their meets. Oh, so they each have their own purpose.

Yes, but even that varies based on what is available and what is needed at the time. What's this one called? Make a persuasion check. Oh no! It's three. How long can the country room? Yeah. I am terribly sorry,

but we are on our way for an evening's rest. But good luck. I hope you enjoy your stay. All of you. Can I? I love your glasses, your monocle. Oh, thank you. Where did you get it?

It was a gift many years ago. Oh, I love it. Can I have it? No. Okay. She turns to leave. Okay. Swing and a miss. Good try, though, good try.

Should we ask how to get in through the gate? Or do you need a pass or something? Make an appointment? Are there guards? There's guards. There's guards. There are two guards posted at the entry gate, or do you need a pass or something? Make an appointment? Are there guards? There's guards. There are two guards posted at the entry gate, and you can see there are two separate wardens that are slowly working their way across the perimeter. And it is like an

oval courtyard path of the gates, meaning it doesn't completely connect in the back. It meets the back portion of the spire. You can see built into the rock behind it, there are a few open windows, almost like there is an interior structure of some kind. And as you get up to this part, you can start seeing more windows and platforms

and balconies built into the spire that overlook different elements of the city that aren't necessarily part of this courtyard and the towers themselves. You don't have any close view of them necessarily. There probably aren't any symbols or identifying iconography on the outside of the towers or anything. Make a perception check.

Ooh, 14. 14? From this distance, you can make out the front tower to the left. Along its base, you can see there is an arched doorway that leads into the bottom of the tower and about 10 feet above it, in a darkly colored, similar limestone material.

Right there, you would see... Sorry, I'm double-checking here the different types there are. Okay. You see what looks to be a circle with a series of diamond shapes that emerge from it in a continued pattern around its perimeter. The sun?

Feels like it. Or that's the Snowflake Tower. I'm not wrong. Snowflake Tower, Sun Tower, Moon Tower. Rain Tower. Rain Tower. Yeah. That's the one that's to the front left? Front left, yes.

All right, well, let's just keep strolling. Can I just go up to one of the guards? You sure can. I mean, maybe they do guided tours. You going on another date? Before you walk up, can I just cast Guidance on you?

Sure. Okay. You got this. Okay. As you approach, you see the two wardens that are at the front. There is one that appears to be a younger human, muscular, handsome, with a bit of curl dark hair that comes from underneath the helmet that he's wearing.

The other looks to be a bronze-scale dragonborn, probably a little older, with what looks to be, you can't quite tell if it's facial hair or an actual facial trait, but part of the chin comes to a long point that seems to almost curl inward at the edge, but they're both armored and just holding their position.

As you approach, they glance over, not aggressively, but definitely in a curious wariness. Hi. All right, so I was sent here. I'm from Jelvon. Have you heard of the city? The two look at each other and the dragonborn pipes up.

Yes, we are aware of the location. Wonderful. So Master Faramore has asked if I would come and talk to someone about opening a business here. And he said that the person to talk to was the business commissioner, but I think he said her name was... Oh gosh, what was it?

Vali? Vali Dertrana, I think it was? About getting a license or something. I think he was looking for a way to... Make a deception check. Come on. Let's go. I think you have a d4 on that, too. You do have a d4, yes. I have a d4. Come on. Let's go. I think you have a d4 on that, too. You do have a d4, yes. Okay, d4.

Lemon drop. Ooh! Do I get advantage? Nope. Okay, cool. That's a natural one, so I don't think that a four is going to do anything. Doesn't matter on that. Unfortunately, lest you have

previously set a meeting with the commissioner, you may be out of luck. Oh. Perhaps I would submit something in writing. That makes sense. You know, of course. I think he sent a letter ahead of time, but it probably hasn't arrived yet.

So. What is your name? I could pass it along inside. Uh, Imogen. Of the Faramore residence. Also, did he send it to the correct tower? Now, he thought it was the Moon Tower, but I see there are four,

and now I'm wondering if maybe we sent it to the wrong one. I don't know. This is like writing on the notes, haphazardly goes like, Well, it was the commissioner. It's likely the Moon Tower. Moon Tower, yeah. And which one was that? Oh gosh, they all look the same.

I mean, it's the point towards the, well, from your perspective, would be the back right portion before the other guard takes a spear and hits their foot. Ah, somewhere on the premises. Right, sorry. All right, well, keep an eye out.

Oh, is there a mailbox or someone that it should be delivered? Oh gosh, I just don't. I will pass this within. Try back again tomorrow morning. Thank you so much. Of course. You've been so helpful. What was your name? It does not matter.

Have a good day. Thank you. How'd you do? I don't know where the Moon Tower is. I don't know. That was fucking great. Okay, I mean, I don't know which one the Moon Tower is. Yeah, but I don't know how we're going to get in there.

Maybe this is something we can get Eshteross' help with, like some sort of a written pass. That's true, that's true. Introduction. He's got so many ends. I feel like. So many ends. Yeah. Anything he writes on paper is gold. Is it just the one entrance?

Pick and choose. Looking about, there is the main gate in the front and the rest of it is a large wall that surrounds the courtyard that is about seven and a half feet tall. of it is a large wall that surrounds the courtyard that is about 7 1⁄2 feet tall, and you can see has metallic pikes along the way about every half foot or so. That's primarily what you can see.

You said the back towers are close or up against the spire itself? They're not up against it, but they're maybe 20, 30 up against the spire itself? They're not up against it, but they're maybe 20, 30 feet from the spire wall to allow more of the courtyard to still fill the space behind them with green and bush. And that spire behind those two towers, how high does that go?

The spire is the central rock core of the entire city spire, and that climbs up for, I'd say, five, 600 feet more. I could toss you over the wall. I know you can. I could go invisible with Ashton again, and we could just rock rock.

I'm not doing that with you again. What do you mean? We're synced up. No, I don't really think we are. Oh. No. I could go invisible with Orym again. No, just kidding. Man.

By the way, you owe me drinks for the next two months. Yeah. For the rest of your life, whatever comes first. It's a long life. Things always tend to go sideways when we sneak in somewhere we're not supposed to be. I know, I feel like we got to find a way to just get in.

I know, I feel like we resort to the B&E route quite a bit and maybe we should mix it up. Twice today. The letter's a good idea. I mean, you guys have a hookup, right? Yeah, we should talk to him. Yeah, for sure. He could get us something official.

Maybe there's a pass, like a fast pass, like the trolleys should have. Yeah, they really do need a pass here. They need a pass. Some sort. Maybe one. I don't know if they use those anymore, though. They might be gone. What? What is this? You need some sort of membership?

This is the Haunted One background built all around Fastpass. Oh. Fastpass. Well, are we deciding we're not getting in tonight? We're not going to try to... I think we're just going to take a look at it. We're going to try to do your fancy stuff to get to this?

I mean, I could just see if I walk in. Or be a bird or something. All you have to do is just say no. Oh, I guess I could. What? Do you have flight unlocked currently in your? No, I can't fly yet. Oh, that's a thing? You could be a bird that doesn't fly.

You could be like a penguin. At a certain level, she will be able to fly, but not quite there. No flying speed yet. So it looks like this whole area is fortified from the front-facing side. Correct. And then built into this.

Correct, it's a large oval wall that holds in the courtyard, and the towers are within this central courtyard. Yeah. So if you're doing sneaky-sneaky, you got the gates, you got the wall, you got mountain climbing. There's a lot of sneaking.

There are a number of hedges and large bushes and archways all throughout the courtyard. It's not an open field. Everyone get a hedge. We pretend to be snakes. I mean, work for Snake? Yeah. Wait, so also. He never did a hedge,

but he should have. Are there people constantly coming in and out of these gates? Not too often. In fact, since you've arrived, you saw the two that were leaving as you approached, and you've probably been looking around, just walking in the space in a very nonchalant,

not attention-drawing way for about 10, 15 minutes, and you haven't seen anybody else exiting. I feel like if it's a place of business, then people would be coming in and out all the time. Might be the hour. I was going to ask, how intricate are the wardens' outfits? They're no more or less intricate

than the other wardens you've seen around the city. Are they the same? Everyone's uniform is the same? For the wardens, are generally the same. You see small details, like beyond them personalizing themselves or occasionally seeing some with shoulder pauldrons and other symbols of higher station

and having some authority amongst other wardens, but continuously you see a through line in the general attire they wear, yes. You having a thought? Well, yeah, I'm just trying to think, you know, some of y'all could blend in as a warden and walk some of the other ones in, maybe. If we got, we have a fabric place that we've been to.

That is true. Costumes. None of us blend very well. That's the one thing that I keep noticing. This is not a... This is not a... I can't think when you're doing that. It's okay, it's okay. Doing what? Nothing.

Just making eye contact. Trying to be polite. Keep at it. A dead lady standing next to a robot. Why do you know what the fuck you mean? If you put a Spock on us, we could be cops, right? We're totally not cops. I'm a warden.

I've got sunglasses. Freeze! Rush hour three. Let's try to get a letter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If that fails, we could, you know. Break it in two. Yeah. Think it that fails, we could, you know. Break it in two. Yeah.

Think it'll go well. Or decide if that's what we want to do. Being very generous, again. This looks pretty, it looks a little more heavy duty than the kitchen and the tavern. Yeah. It feels like an official weigh-in would be better.

Yeah. I'm honestly pretty infested, though. I kind of want to meet this coach. You're infested? I do. I mean, yes, but infested. Oh. But even if we got inside, how do we know where to look?

Well, yeah. I think we need to be shown to Vali. Yeah, we don't want to raid a whole tower. If Artana got in by bringing in a bounty and this family is looking for bounties, who's to say we can't find our own? Oh, hmm. Oh shit. Well, you'd like that.

Well, you kind of look like a bounty. No, no, no, that's not what I meant. No, no, no. I thought that's what you were suggesting. Excuse me, no, no, no. This is a struggle of genius. that's not what I meant. No, no, no. I thought that's what you were suggesting. No, no, no. This is a struggle of genius. I thought we could actually find a legitimate bounty and then... How? Can you look closer to your brother?

Just put a hood on him. I don't even believe this is the same family that is looking for... No, it's not. No. But maybe they would be interested in finding one that another family is after. Well, and also, if all the guilds do business here, that means that the treacherous families

might be in there. Yeah, then the treacherous families might be in there. I'm just not certain. I want to bring more. Quit pretending like you're your brother. Yeah, put these manacles on. Fuck! Why do you have manacles? What?

You got to hold wood still sometimes. You make do with what you got. You don't have manacles? Well? You got to hold wood still sometimes. You make do with what you got. You don't have manacles? Well, actually, to be fair, I've seen a lot of wood trying to escape lately, so I can't actually. I don't know about this. I don't like it. Take it off.

Yeah, I just feel like what's- I don't think that I can. Try. They come right out. Oh! I just handled the locking mechanism. Oh, these toy handcuffs? Yeah, you got to lock them closed, otherwise they just shut. Thank you, Trevor.

What the fuck, you think I'm crazy? I could, sure. I... I think that would be a better idea after we got your brother out of town. I don't want to bring any extra attention to him. Yeah. I'm sorry, Jenny.

Should we try and get him out of town? I'm speaking of. I think we should try and get him the fuck out of town. Ugh. He's. This would be a good idea if your brother was out of town. All right.

But we got to do something about that. It's family. You got to take care of fucking family. Well, where else were you going with that idea, though? Where else were you going with that idea, Caleb? Oh, I just thought we could find our own legitimate bounty. Maybe something a little lower budget, nine of us. It shouldn't be hard to go track someone down

and take them out and bring them here. And that not only would give us access to the Moon Tower, it would also probably walk us into wherever they keep their bounties, which, after all, is what we're looking for. I don't think everybody is the same bounty order, though. This particular one came from Vali, but.

Could we find one that came? Do we know who the bounties come from? Do they post on walls and shit? Yeah. Occasionally. You would know this more than anyone. It's rare that a bounty goes on a public board somewhere because they don't want a bunch of fuckheads

who see the coin number to go and hunt someone down. True. So it's usually gone through Whisper networks. Yeah, Whisper networks and recommendations. number to go and hunt someone down. So it's usually gone through whisper networks and recommendations. This is not the sort of information we would be privy to, and anyone who would have it to give it to us

wouldn't want to, because it's their money, not ours. What about, speaking of boards, though, what about this? Paper. What is this? It's talking about the Paragon's Call. It says, you know, demand skilled hands to protect us, demand Quorum approval.

You know, didn't they say that the Quorum did meetings here? They did. Maybe we want to be a part of Paragon's Call. I don't even know if Paragon's Call exists right now. I think Paragon's Call is against the Quorum. Yeah, I think, right? Demand Quorum approval and authority for the Paragon's Call.

These were the angry rich people that were like, oh, we want to have. Special force of... Against the crime. Swords for hire. Thank you. Yeah, I can read. Get the fuck out of here.

What if we take that letter up to the guards? Oh yeah, no, I hate that. I think that's a really fucking bad idea. That's a really bad idea. Maybe we wait until there's new guards. It's more like a political flyer than a letter. I honestly really liked Imogen's idea. I think it's solid.

Which is get a letter? Yeah. See Estrasse. I believe that was my idea. I just feel like I have to put that out there. Yes, I just need to know. Respect, respect. Thank you. I think we should get the letter.

I think we should get the letter. Okay. Well, we'll go get the letter, then. Good idea, Laudna. Thank you. I used a cheekskin when it happened, but yeah. All right, so you were heading back to Eshteross. I guess so. I saved my praise for the living. Ew!

It's expensive to move between these spires. Same spire, thankfully. Oh, it's the same spire. I just hook up a rope and rappel down this edge. That is an option. Oh, really? Yeah, roll some acrobatics, man. How far is one level beneath the one that we're currently on?

A few hundred feet. Few hundred feet! You know, I'm good. I'm cool. All right. So heading down to the familiar space, more in the central part of the Core Spire, you return to the Eshteross Manor.

Evelyn leads you back to the same study, where you can see a few more books have been pulled out, and there is a tray with tea that may have been resting for a while. You put the books to the side, and sitting in the same chair by the fire, you see Lord Eric's Eshteross finishing chewing on a cookie

before turning and standing up. Return. All ready. You sick of us yet? Not possible. He's so wonderful. He's wonderful. Are those cookies you baked? Your latest and greatest?

I'm trying a new recipe. Do you want to try some? He lifts up the tray and holds it out. Would I be to say no? What are they? Maple. But different. You daring boy.

As you take a bite, he goes, I added ginger. Hmm. Spicy yet sweet. Oh my god. And? It's so soft. And is that...

Is that turmeric? Fantastic. Inflammatory as well. Mm-hmm. Fantastic. And inflammatory as well. Mm-hmm. Wow. Good for the throat. You have made me quite happy this night. Thank you for your insight.

Just returning the pleasure. Do you hear that, Evelyn? She likes it. Ginger snaps cannon. She said dead more than life. Anyway, I do not think you were here to just try my bait goods. Unless you were, but.

No, so we were trying to get into the Moon Tower of the Mirror Towers. Hmm. And they wouldn't let us in. Not surprising. Not at all. So I said that I knew a guy that was trying to open up a business.

That didn't work too well, but we thought maybe if we had a letter that showed that we had actual business there, then we could potentially get in. Potentially. Do you have a specific cover you would request for this? Well, in the town that I'm from, actually,

the man I worked for owns a lot of shops. Name of this individual? Master Fjärmoor. for, owns a lot of shops. Name of this individual? Master Fjärmoor. Master Fjärmoor. He walks aside and you can see, he takes up a stack of paper that are within a drawer of a nearby desk, pulls two of them out, gets an ink and quill,

and begins to write down. Yeah, I don't believe he has a shop in Jusar already, but he has them all over Marquet. Understood. That's world, that's world. Reaches over the top of the desk and takes what looks like a small stick of red coloration, holds it over one of the candles, lets it drip upon the sheet,

reaches it in a pocket and pulls out something on a long chain, presses it into it, rolls it up, and hands it to you. Whoa. It should be enough to get you where you need. Thank you. Thank you. Wow.

You make it look so easy. Don't be ungrateful. Um. So easy. Don't be ungrateful. Oh, I mean, that seems like two rewards, really. This is delicious. Even if trade was fair. That is really good. Not you. You don't get one. I'm kidding, of course you could.

Not that this is necessarily your problem, but we're trying to get somebody out of town extremely quiet. I'm getting them out quietly, not the person's actually a little irritatingly. They talk a lot, but we need to get someone out of town alive. What have you done in the past few hours

since we last spoke? It took a lot to figure out where this guy was being held. We had to deal with some very, very shady, shady people. Right. And it would be easier to move around the city if we had fewer things to worry about. Family in peril can make people do foolish things. And what is it you ask of me, then?

Either if you're capable of getting somebody quietly out of town, or if you might know somebody who could. And? I could likely do so, if this individual will be willing to come to me, as I think me or any of my associates reaching out will be met with mistrust, understandably.

And you would owe me a favor. I don't think it would be my favor, but I would recommend that when it comes to family, it's worth paying some fucking debts. I'll take the favor. You've paid my debts and I don't owe him anything yet. Seems only fair. I'm trying. This is acceptable.

Thank you, Chetney. Yeah, whatever. Well, that's all if your brother even wants to go. Better fucking go. Seems as if a city. This individual is my brother, and I have to know, these bounties that we discussed earlier,

what's their reach? Jrusar? Marquet? How far do these things travel? Well, if the amount is right and it's been around long enough, it could reach every shore on Marquet. But it depends bounty to bounty. Well.

Out of town is good. If you think he's smart enough to fucking keep low, keep his head down, and it's still going to be your problem. Some moron's going to think that you're him. Erase the bounty is better. It is better. More expensive the bounty is better. It is better. More expensive, but not better. How much is this bounty?

A lot. 20,000 gold. As you can tell, we are in several situations above our station. Then if I were to escort your brother out of this city, he would not do anything about the bounty. Do you wish this bounty paid off? We'll have to hide him from now, for now.

Do you have 20,000 gold extra, just lying around? Lying around, no buts. Can I just say, getting him off the X is pretty good if 20k feels a little steep. Moving is the next best thing. It worked really well for me, I'm just telling you. Maybe we can get him on an airship. Is there a such thing as canceling a bounty?

There is, if the reason for the bounty has been made in equal share. What has your brother done? Vague. He was part of a protection party. Things went awry and he was the fall man. Something was stolen, we don't know what. Obviously important. The burdens fell on him.

Oh yeah, they mentioned a golem. Mm-hmm. An automaton would be quite an expensive thing to be taken. I imagine if such a thing were returned to those who set the bounty, that would cancel the debt with enough influence and goodwill. So it was stolen from the Treshies?

Was there any markings on it? I can't remember. Was there something that, I don't know. Do we have any markings on it? I can't remember. Was there something that, I don't know. Do we have any leads on that? There was a, there was initials on the trunk. There were? Initials on the trunk, Ashton.

What were they? J-H, I think? J-H. I don't remember. Is that right? Did that ring anything? Jerry... High-five. Jerry high-five. Ashton, does that ring any bells?

J-H? I may have a thing. I'll try and dig it up. Jah. Wouldn't make sense for him. Jah. Jahana. Juh. Jimmy Hoffa.

Maybe it's. Jimmy Hoffa! We found him! Boy, we are scraping the NPC names at this point. Well, we have a letter, so we have one actionable item. Yeah. All right. Then a lot to think about with your brother.

Is it time for our date? Oh. What time of day is it? Right now, it's about close to sunset in the next 30, 40 minutes, so you probably have a little over two hours, two and a half hours. We've still got time.

Should we freshen up? I think I'm covered in blood still, I'm not sure. I mean, yeah, we haven't bathed since... Weeks. It's been a while. We're fine. It's been a while. What do you ladies like to do on dates? Like, what's your ideal date?

What everybody does, I think. Which is what? I don't really know. Dancing and eating and so many things. Dancing and eating. How about you, Imogen? Oh. Have you been on a date before?

Oh shit. Oh, no? No. Oh. Oh, are you bashful about that? No, about bashful about not being on a date? Or just, you know, going on a date? Um, you know, no. It's just, like, you know, it's hard to find someone who,

you know, if you're on a date, it's just that one person, and you're reading their mind, and you know all the things that you're doing wrong. Oh, you can hear. It gets really uncomfortable, you know? Plus, you know, people think you're weird, and then they don't.

That's why I've never been on a date. Because people think you're weird, and then they don't. That's why I've never been on a date. Because people think you're weird? Mm-hmm. What about before you died? You know, when I was a young girl, of course, I was still the freak of the town, but I was a crush on a young boy that I went to school with, and...

Yeah, I feel like he threw dirt in my face at one point. What was the boy's name? Hmm. Andy. No. No. No. No.

Not, not, not Whitestone Andy, really? Have you been reading my fucking notes? Whitestone Andy? You can read all about Whitestone Andy and the Tal'Drainer Burlingame. I was fishing for Percy and I didn't get what I wanted. High fantasy. She did not know fucking Percy.

Just toss that one back in. No. Picture. not know fucking Percy. Just toss that one back in. No. Take a picture. Blasting Griffith. Oh my god. Oh, Andy. Scant. Oh man. Oh, I heard a whistle.

Whistle broke. Seen Vaughn Musil from Husky to Roll the Pond. And Andy. Oh, Andy. Ha! Oh my god. Okay,. Oh, Andy. Yeah! Oh my god. Okay, all right, all right. So yeah, that's what you do on dates.

You go dancing and you eat. I'm so excited. I mean, I didn't, yeah, you go dancing, you eat. Sweet, is the theater a wrong choice? Is that bad? Asking me? I don't know. I think a theater would be great. We should take him for a walk in a graveyard.

Okay. That actually sounds really pleasant. Yeah. Sounds really peaceful. This is extremely riveting, I must tell you. Oh my goodness. We're still here. Can I have a- You have not left. May I have?

There's two left. Oh, excellent. Dorian, do you want one? Share? No, you have your own cookie. You can't have both. Oh, I'll take it. Well, I have both. That's a polite thing to do to share sometimes, Chetney. It's worth it. It's really fair.

Okay, fine. I gave you the bigger one. Well, thank you. Well, good luck and stay safe. Don't do too long, that is dated, so. Oh, would it be prudent to go in the morning? Or today, do you think? With a little convincing, tomorrow should be fine,

but we're sooner the better, rightly. All right, thank you. I mean, we could go right now. It's true, is it weird that it's after hours? Oh, you mean go up to the tower again? We could. We've got an hour and a half before the date. Seems more important than a date

with an ogre kitchen guy. Thank you. The cook man was nice, but. I mean, are y'all really, truly? He was very sweet. You didn't spend a lot of time talking to him. The whole time you were back there, we were having a conversation.

Are you really? You're thinking you might've found your soulmate? All three of you in the open? No! It's about company and being kind. Can we make it a speed date? If you're not careful, you just slowly will get banned from every single bar within the towers,

just because you'll get awkward with a cook in one, you'll get awkward with a bartender in another, you'll start a fight in another, you will accidentally start making out with somebody's sister. Things get weird. You might as well just take a deal with it now, go on the fucking date so we can go back there

and drink at some point in the near fucking future. Yeah, but what if we fall head over hooves with him? What if it's a terrible date? Two of you have never actually been on one before. And there's also three of you. Well, that's more to love, I guess. You're the very... Are you going to fuck this kid?

What the fuck are you talking about? You don't know what you do on a date? What the fuck, Grass? What? What have you, Grass? What? What have you been reading? I just don't want anyone to be led on. He seemed like he had a pure heart, and you know, you don't want to.

He did, it was a very pure, big heart, swollen turgid. Yes, it's a turgid. Excuse me? It's a turgid? Thank you for turgid. Oh boy. There were no expectations placed on this. I think it's just a good time for everybody for a love. Honestly, it's highly likely he's going to die from clogged arteries at any moment

from the amount of grease that he serves everyone and himself, so. What time of? Give him some glorious last days. The days of? All right. I'd say it's 25 minutes till sunset. Sunset?

We've got 25 minutes! Oh no, wait, two hours. Two hours and 25 minutes. But it's the end of the, it's maybe the end of the workday. So now's the time to go visit her. Because she'll be wanting to get done with everything, and then we can jump in, and she'll try to, you know,

fine, let's talk really fast, and she might give something away. All right, let's go. So we'll just quickly rattle the information out of her, find this person, wrap it up quick before your date. Well, I'm sure we'll be done in time. Yes, it sounds like such a great, solid plan that will definitely go very smoothly.

So we're going in as business people, and we're going to make our way into the Moon Tower. Yes. And talk to someone about Gurge. Yes. And we get him? Oh, I think that's still TPT. TPT.

Okay. Yeah. I don't think he's there, personally. No, I do not think Gurge is going to be in that Moon Tower. I think Gurge is going to be at a different location, personally. Probably. Maybe. Probably. What if he's in a room?

Those towers definitely have dungeons. Yeah, or he's in a room where the ceiling is open and then they just wait for the moon to come out and he's like, Ooh! That's what's in the moon tower. Who? Fearne, that's brilliant.

Well, there's a lot more where that came from. That's not a reference. Is that Andy's last name, Gandalf? Do we know if it's a full moon? White Stone. Oh yeah, do we know? Would we hear? No one's likely to make a nature check if they'd like to lead that charge.

Okay. Nature or survival, your choice. Can I, is it okay if I check as well? Yeah, it's fine. Go on, go on, go on. Oh, go, go, go, go, go. 11. 11, okay.

14. 14. Katha's actually been waiting for some time and is off to the western side of the sky. Ruidus has been drifting overhead and it's Ruidus's time of year. So not a full moon in the classic sense. Is there ever a time that they're both full?

Yeah, Ruidus doesn't wax and wane. It just stays this dull red color in the sky and it moves in a much slower trajectory through Exandria than Catha does. Occasionally, it seems to almost glow or flash in the sky at odd times. There are many theories, and usually when a night in which it is

seemingly brighter than others and those that are born beneath it are considered set for lives of ill fate. It's covered often, though, too. Yeah, depending on the weather, whether or not you can see it or not. Wow. All right. Let's try it.

We're going up? All right. And who's going in? All of us? We get briefcases. Have we left his presence yet? I assume you guys have begun trekking towards your next destination,

wherever that might be. Okay, I'm just going to send him as, I'm just going to talk to him. All right. Is this letter for all of us or just a couple of us? This was to give all of you entry, I understood. Thank you, that's all I needed to know. I'm sorry to disturb you.

It is fine, I am used to it now. Okay, so you are heading to the same place. Myrta, at least? That's it. Okay. Returning to the upper regions of the spire, you come to the familiar courtyard

that previously you could not quite enter. The same guards are posted. Good news. Yes. Takes it, pulls out a small blade Sure. The same guards are posted. Good news. Yes? Takes it, pulls out a small blade and cuts the seal, but looks at the seal for a second. Just a moment, I need to confirm legitimacy. Steps through the gate,

and you see it vanish in the courtyard. An awkward five minutes passes. The other guard looks at you all, spear to the side. Hi. How's your night going? Okay. Cool. Do you like working here? Mm. Does it pay well?

Eh. What are the hours? Long. Do you get hours like? Long. Do you get bathroom breaks? Yeah. Have you ever seen some shit? Some shit go down? Maybe. Do you get along with the other guy? Okay.

Is it a fence to keep people in or keep people out? Both. Oh. Ever punch someone in the face? Once. Whoa. Cool. Do you have your own armor, or is there just a locker full of them that fit everybody?

That. Yes. Would you like a wooden coin? Sure. I produce a small copper-looking wooden coin. Thanks. It's at that point that the Dragonborn guard returns. So are we out of everything that just happened.

You have been cleared to enter. Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much. Gate opens and you enter the courtyard. If he flips that. That was it, that was it. I'm sorry to hear this. Gosh, can you imagine? We would've gone through all this effort, we would've snuck in,

we would've come up with some stupid thing when all we had to do was go to Lord Eshra. At about this time, the sun has entirely set. Thank you so much. And a gentle mist begins to slowly gather across elements of the spire, even reaching this high, which you begin to notice as the storm that you saw in the distance begins to close in.

The gray sky shows that rain may be imminent, which you begin to notice as the storm that you saw in the distance begins to close in. The gray sky shows that rain may be imminent, any minute now, but for the time being, the change in weather, the change in temperature has caused the fog to rise higher than it normally does, and even this high up in the spire, there's a faint mist that's beginning to fill the space. But here you are now in this

torch-lit interior of the courtyard. You can see various small stone pillars that carry sconces that burn and give this beautiful, gentle flickering throughout the various regions of cultivated garden and bush. You can see the archway you step through and there is a central portion of the courtyard where there are a number of benches around

and there is a series of set marble that gives a star-like spiral out in the center, and paths split off and separate, heading to the various towers around. You can see the arches, even in this space, have symbols upon them. You can see one that resembles the sun going in the direction of the first tower that you saw.

You can see one that resembles a simple four stars that goes off to the one to the far left. You can see off to the right, there is one towards the front that has just a clear space with a water-like pattern of waves pushing through. There is one that has a crescent katha set upon it that heads to the far back right.

I think that's the way we go. Yeah. Okay. As we're walking, I'm just going to slowly press a Digitation, everyone, to make us as clean as possible. Fair enough. You do pass one individual you can see is leaving the Moon Tower.

An older man, looks to be elven in appearance. His hair is, it would be thinning if not for the elven blood, but it is pulled tight against his head and slicked back to the middle of his back with tendrils that rest in front of his ears and drift to the center of his chest. He is wearing fine yellow gold robes

and is currently holding a small stack of tomes under one arm and scoots past and gives a nod. He continues on to the courtyard. You continue onward to the Moon Tower. There you see, as you approach it, it is a beautiful central tower that rises probably six, seven stories. It is a thick tower like the others

and still ends into an almost teardrop point at the top where you can see a gem of some kind is refracting a little bit of distant Catha moonlight that is beginning to push through the gathering clouds before the rain for the evening takes it entirely. At the base of it, you can see it widens out into a series of structures, a small compound that rests around the base of the tower.

And a small rise of about seven or eight steps leads to the open entryway, where you can see a warm light from the inside. Stepping up into that space, small droplets begin to fall from above, and you sense a very faint bit of rain beginning to fall upon the city. Now, you all quickly step

within the interior. Within the Moon Tower, you can see there is a young assistant of dark bluish-purple-gray skin, Elven, Dark Elf in particular, looks maybe in his late teens, early 20s, very young to a visual perspective, who is wearing these stark white and silver robes.

He is currently taking a number of leather-bound books and setting them upon these dozens of locked shelves around the interior of the chamber. You can see each of these books has a chain that is affixed to the front, where there's a loop on the binding, and they are locked within these spaces. They're labeled, though a bit far

from where your eyes can see. As you step in, the sound of rain splashing upon the stonework outside, he stops and looks back. Sorry, I'll be right with you. Places it to where it finishes locking it and almost loses its balance before catching himself. Okay.

Closes that shelf and you can see a whole set of bars comes down and locks and he places a lock in there, sets his keys to the side, steps down from his shiftable stepping tower, pushes it to the side. Right, can I help you? Yes.

I'm going to pull out the letter and read it to make sure I know exactly what Lord Eshteross said in it. In not so many words, it breaks down that under the intent and power within the Bredaj Textiles business and the house of Lord Eryx Eshteross, the bearer of this end has written your name in full and the seven companions you see before you

are to be granted audience when available within their schedule companions you see before you are to be granted audience when available within their schedule to specifically Vali, and it breaks down Vali de Tarana and a number of titles thereafter. The Business Commissioner of the Mirror Towers, Liaison between Mahon houses.

It just goes in. It's a very, very formal presentation, but it does seem to be thorough. All right. All right. I think he's... Let me check. Excuse me just a moment.

Double checks all the locks on the shelves and then heads down the hall and you see to the curve around the right. Like beyond what would have been the tower base and further into where the base compound is to the back of the tower and to the right and then vanishes around the corner. Assassinate.

Oh. I'm going to wrap my fingers and watch some of the books. Yeah, I want to see what the books are. Okay. I'm going to mark you. You're such a thief. Interestingly enough, they are numbered, but there are no titles.

Fearne, I would like you to make a constitution saving throw for me, please. Ooh! Electric fence. Why? Okay. Ooh, that's good. Oh.

Is this a magical effect? It would be considered, yes. They have advantage on that. Okay, roll again. Come on, now. Roll again? Yeah. That was not good. That's not any better.

Oh. Six. Six. Roll on it. Okay. We're rolling ass tonight. You take seven points of lightning damage. And you are blinded. All of a sudden, your vision goes to white,

as your body shudders at the burst of arcane electrical energy, and you all watch as Fearne's hair just stands out on end for a moment and just stays there, and she pulls away, eyes wide. Oh, do not touch those books. Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine. I just was, it's like when you put your finger in a socket. You're like, what's this? Why are your eyes doing that? What's wrong, what are they doing? They're just pointing all over. Fuck, fuck. Nope, you're failing.

I'm going to gently grab her and move her away from the books. I'd also like to pickpocket her. Oh shit! Okay, go ahead. Make a side of hand check. Her sense is heightened. I feel like with advantage, no, it's okay. No, given the circumstances,

it would be with advantage against, yeah, go for it. Oh my god. You roll perception with disadvantage, because. I'm going to do that again. Okay. It ain't happening. Perception, you said? Yes, with disadvantage. Okay.

Okay, 15. 20. Okay. Okay, 15. 20. Ooh! Okay. Boy, this is big. I was going for an interesting object, not money. Let me see what I have. What would be an interesting object

that you would think would be likely pilfered in your current state? Stand by. Oh, now the old motherfucker. Yeah! Who's the other one, Jorah? Yeah. I love her. Well. It's the Mist.

Exactly what I think you should grab is my very important chamber pot that I got from Tucker. How big is it? It's like a soup bowl. Actually, how many random objects do you have on you right now? So many. I just riddled with them. I'll tell you what, I'm going to roll a d6.

Okay. And just like, we'll go down the list and whatever number of the first six. Yes. It's only fair. Ready? Let's do it. Three. That's literally the chamber pot.

Rollies! Verifying hand picking. It's a nice portable chamber pot. It's about that big. It has a flower in it from Orym. It has a flower in it? It's like a, yeah. Just sitting in the dried piss at the bottom.

All right. It has a little rope around the lip of it that she has to fix to her side, so it just dangles as she walks. It's dangling around mine now. There you go. Your vision does begin to slowly return just as the young Dark Elf returns.

Terribly sorry. I think he's indisposed. He's not coming to the door of his office, so he's probably busy. Oh. Come back tomorrow, maybe. Is he all right? Are you sure? Or is he taking a nap?

Right, it is a long meeting. I understand, but he's indisposed. My apologies. Of course. But you just went up to see him, right? Well, I knocked on the door. He's not currently answering, but he's probably in a meeting.

What if he's dead? I mean, are you sure he's okay? I don't think he's dead. How would you know? You were gone and back so quick. He must be in a meeting. What if he's dead? I mean, are you sure he's okay? I don't think he's dead. How would you know? You were gone and back so quick. He must be a night nearby. I'm a little worried. Yeah, me too.

Should we go check on him? I've got this, I've got this. I'll go check again. I'm going to press a little bit, up-slim a little bit, and just walk toward that space. Oh my gosh! Just give me a moment.

I'm going to go check, all right? Okay, okay. I'm just very prudent. Yeah, I'm just so nervous. It's very prudent. No, it's fine, it's fine. He fumbles and pulls at his keychain and wanders back down the hall onto the right. I'm so stressed.

I think we should follow this gentleman. You know, if you want to. We'll just come with you to just make sure. He's already down the hall and he's left around the corner. He's slowly walked down the hallway. He just kept sight of him. You do hear echoing

from the hall, like, What did you say? Hello? Echoing, going invisible, once again. Hello, Master Vali? Ah, I don't know. As you guys all step down the hall and turn the corner, you can see him locking the door behind you.

He's like, ah, sorry. I don't know, he's apparently not here, so he might be gone. Might have left for the day, I didn't see him He's apparently not here, so he might be gone. Might have left for the day. I didn't see him. Oh. So my apologies. Was that his office or his bedroom? This is his office. Oh, that would make sense.

But I think he might have gone. Oh, all right. My apologies. That's strange, and you didn't see him go? I didn't, but I've been busy. You know, it's possible. Yeah. Just went around. Talk about tomorrow. Of course.

Do you know, does he live close by? I don't know, to be honest. Oh, really? What time does he normally come in in the morning? Well, normally, he comes in, I haven't been much attention. A lot of people come in in the morning. I've seen them. As he's distracted

with these questions, I'm slowly just shuffling chutney behind my cape. Oh! And I'm going to pull my little eyelash and that gum out. I'm going to tink. I'm going to cast Invisibility on him. Okay.

Make a, is Invisibility verbal and somatic? It is. Yeah. Material? Maybe not. I would like you to make a steady hand check. You make a steady hand check. I am very good at this. You got this.

Very good. That would be a 24. Woo! Woo! Carefully muttering under your breath and motioning and gesturing just out of the periphery sight of this individual, you sense the arcane energy leave your fingers and Chetney, you vanish from sight.

Go get him. I'll actually say, since we're here, I actually have some questions. Has any of these books actually ever escaped? I mean, you really got them locked up there. Like, do they leave? Like on their own? Well, I mean, that's a lot, clearly.

We saw furniture come to life just recently. It's been a thing. It's actually a thing. Yeah. While they're talking, I just start going. Roll a stealth check with advantage. Come on. Oh! Oh!

I saw it, I saw it, I saw it, I saw it. That's not possible. Oh, okay. Jesus Christ. I saw a one and a one, but that's an old dice. It's a one and a 16. So 20, dirty 20. Okay. Christ.

I was like, that can't happen. You gingerly move around and seemingly unnoticed are to the exterior of the door. Exterior of the door? You just finish locking the door behind him before you, right as you guys arrive. The distance from his desk and book area to the hallway and the door is?

Oh, a good maybe 70 or more feet. I'm going to, well, let me look around. Is there anything else down the hallway or is this the end of the hallway? You're right behind. He's still in the hall, but he's starting to usher the rest of you back. We'll start walking him.

Right, okay. Furniture, I thought, wait, I heard something about that happened. You did? That was us. Well, you were there for that. Oh yeah, we ended up taking care of it. This whole city is going to shite. Have you ever heard of anything like that happening before?

Go for it, go ahead and roll. Come on, come on. I mean, I know about, there's all manner of enchanted and animated items, but they're not running wild in the city. Are you kidding me? What's your idea of a good date, by the way? I don't know, like, maybe

like going a little ride to the Eyrie? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know, I like it. 21. 21. The lock is a bit too complicated for you at the moment.

Oh no! Yep. I got some guidance. Fuck. It's a... Guidance, invisible weirdo? It's a tough entry on that one. That's fair, that's fair.

But I'm not going to be thwarted. Is it just this desk in the hallway? Is there another way? Do I see stairs in any way? Other doors? Anything there another way? Do I see stairs in any way? Other doors? Anything that leads up? I mean, there is a staircase in the central area where his desk is, and it spirals upward

to the actual tower itself. But nothing that's behind him besides this. This office does feel like this is on the outside of the compound. So it is the furthest portion of this base area around the town. It's like a lobby. Right.

Good luck. So the office of Olly is against the outside of the building. Got it, got it, got it, got it. So none of these books could have made this happen, then? This is not some sort of weird magic collection? I don't know. I mean, you lock these books up

and you don't know what's in them? No, it's not my job to know what's in them. I'm just told to lock them up. You don't take a little peek. Imogen. No! How's he doing? No, I mean, clearly. Clearly. I appreciate your coming, buddy.

I really do. Come back tomorrow, and maybe we'll be back in then, and we can go ahead and get this enhanced paperwork back to you. Will you be working on this tomorrow morning or will it be somebody else? Tomorrow, likely someone else. Chetney Poppins. I'm off for the next two days.

I'm at the end of the ship, so. Have you made it into the office? No, just dirty luck. I should try, just stop working. As he's ushering us out, I'm going to touch the books. You're going to touch the? I'm going to touch the book. Good. You're going to touch the... I'm going to touch the book. Although the books are behind a bar.

Okay, make a constitution check. 12, I don't know. 16, actually. 16, okay. You take four points of lightning damage. Take one. And are not blinded. I'm going to just spaz out and go,

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, she's like, No, no, no, no, you're not supposed to! Stop that, that's a chip! Oh god, please don't do it! I'm sorry, I just, ah! I don't know what happened. Sometimes things happen.

Okay, hold on, I'm sorry. Don't touch this. None of you touch it! It's specifically designed not to be touched. What happened? Okay, I got you, I got you. Hold on, hold on. You can see at the way, there are some of the other patrol wardens are starting to, like, hearing this noise.

And you can hear, wait, what's going on? And distance, they'll be here shortly. This man hurt our friend. He's very expensive. I didn't know, what? It's all right, sometimes they get buggy. They get buggy, it's very expensive. I didn't know, what? It's all right. Sometimes he, they get buggy, they get buggy. It's all right.

He just needs a tune-up. We're literally just playing with, okay. Chetney, what are you doing? I'll try one more before we just call it off. Chetney! Oh boy. Oh my god. Do you have a good nephew-hating bra? It's a 26, but I don't know if that's enough.

I think that might've been before. Yeah. 25 was the threshold to first roll. This brought it up higher. Sorry. I can't do it! I can't do it! Just come back. We can try again in the morning. I'm a failure. No, you are. do it. Just come back. We can try again in the morning. I'm a failure.

No, you are. I add nothing to the team. Chetney, nobody else can be, well, I guess somebody else could be invisible. I guess Dorian could do that to anyone now. You know, no one else can, Chetney, just get back here. Okay. I was enjoying the pep talk, though.

The wardens approach, like, what's going on over here? Oh. This automaton touched the side of the books and went haywire. Are we all right? Are we all right? I cannot feel anything anymore. I am entering malfunction mode.

Oh no! I didn't know. This is my fault, I'm going to take. I just, I got to take him home and do a thing. It's okay, it's not, nothing you did, nothing you did. We'll just, come on, come on, we're good. Help it up. The apple computer boot noise.

Do it, do it, I want to hear it. I don't know. Boom. I don't know. Boom. Yeah. God, we're old. You're old.

Come on. All right, we're leaving. Yeah, you're old. You're old. Come on. All right, we're leaving. Yeah. You guys. You don't know what time we should head back here in the morning. I wouldn't go any later to like, oh, any earlier than nine, probably. You know, is it possible to leave a note

slotted under the door or something so that he knows what to expect? Maybe we could probably do that. The warden's like, and they wander off and continue their walk throughout the grounds. Please. It's the least you could do.

I am hurt. I can leave a note. Yeah, just give it to me. Okay, yeah. And then please, I'm not. Super appreciative. Yeah. That's really cool. I need to close soon, so. Do you have a piece of paper I can write? I can get that for you, yeah. And he wanders off and goes Yeah. I need to close soon, so. Do you have a piece of paper?

I can get that for you. And he wanders off and goes in the desk and starts getting a piece of paper out. But how do you touch the books? How is that a thing? That? 20% less. He turns to you like, Well, um.

Running into the wall. That is information I should not be sharing. That's part of my job. Like a Roomba. That's a Roomba. So, do, do, do, do, do. That's part of my job. That's a rumor. That's a doo-doo-doo-doo. That whole letter. First of such, a tug on Dorian's cape. I'm here.

I'm here! I know. Okay, here's the letter. Come here. Under. There you go. All right, I'll make sure it's left in the office. So sorry.

Sorry about your friend. You have destroyed me. Oh god. You know, maybe you shouldn't just slide it under the door because now I'm worried that he's going to come in and he's not even going to see it's under the door. Can you leave it on his desk or something? I'm just freaking out. All right, I'll do it.

Chetney, follow him. I picked up on it. That was the last part. Where are we going to go, boy? But nevertheless, get out, get out. And he ushers the rest of you out. Thank you, have a shiny day. Closes the doors behind you. I'm still inside.

Still inside. Looks at the sheet. For the love of gods. Why did this day get so weird? And he starts walking down the sheet. For the love of gods. Ah. Why does this day get so weird? He starts walking down the hall. Make a stealth check with advantage. Come on. Come on. Get in that room.

We're doing good, we're doing good. 17. 17. 17. That's not great. Okay. Terrible. Continues walking down the path, pulls out the key ring, finds the right key, turns to the right,

heads down the hall, comes to the door, opens up inside. It's shady inside, but it looks like there is a blue orb that just sits above a small pillar, floating about an inch above it that gives this dull blue glow throughout the interior of this office. Stepping inside, you can see there is

a large, dark wooden desk. You can see there are shelves. There is a liquor cabinet off to the side. There's a bunch of papers and stuff on the main desk area. There is a large stained glass window that looks out into the courtyard. Time is a plus. But the figure, young Darkov,

because everyone sets the paper on the desk, goes and then leaves the room, closes behind and locks it. You are now locked within the office. What are you going to do? I count to 10. I don't even breathe. I say to Imogen,

I'm in. Great. I say to Imogen, I'm in. Great. What do you see? What are you doing? There's a big blue ball, a stained glass window, these enormous bookcases. I'm afraid to move.

Is there a door in there anywhere? Can you get? Is there a door anywhere? Outside of the one that? You can make a perception and investigation check up to you to look within the darkly lit room. Do you have darkvision? I do, 60 feet.

Okay, yeah, yeah. 22. 22. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. So first, the stained glass window that overlooks the outside, you can see it creates a colorful rose represented in a rainbow tapestry of panes

that gives this symbol there. Some are larger, some are smaller. Just beyond it, you can see some of the distant lights in the courtyard. Looking around the sizable office, the decor is mildly gaudy. You can see there are paintings of little quaint cottages at golden hour. Oh boy.

Kinkades? Yeah, just filled with kinkades. Oh my god. No. Hey, those are fun puzzles. Fuck this guy. Fun puzzles. Burn it down. Burn it down. His name is Kinkade, and he's a painter of suns. You can see tapestries of odd blocky patterns

and clashing colors throughout the room. Definitely a lot of money put into this. There is a heavy Vermaloc bookcase that sits against the wall behind the large slab of the wooden desk there that you see with multitudes of intricate drawers that are visible on the chair side of it. Vermaloc.

Yeah, Vermaloc is actually pretty rare and you recognize it immediately. Deep purple coloration. Ooh. Mm. Mm. Mm. So good.

I can't hear this in my head. Wood porn. Hashtag horny for wood. Yeah. Please let me be alone in here. In fact, I'll close my eyes and just use my senses. Do I hear, smell, or feel anything that might be off? Something that could be illusory,

or arcane in nature. Not what it seems. Illusory. Just another physical presence in the room or something that is hidden. Nothing to that. Well, well, what'd you roll for investigation before?

22. 22. 21. 21. 21, yeah. I will say, within the sense there... 23. Well, glancing around the space in here, first off, you do see there are just numerous blank paper stacked on the desk. There is a large, what looks to be a trader

or trade route map of the Oderan Wilds spread across one half of the desk. That's a trade routes marked and all the paths of the actual jungle around. You can see there are, once again, all the drawers that you can see, there are locks on the drawers. There's three on each side, to a total of six.

After your previous experience in the day, you glance back at the bookcase on the wall behind you. You're like, these fucking bookcases. You head over to it and look at where it meets the wall. You sense the faintest of noise from behind the bookcase? You're shitting me. Huh.

Oh, baby. Okay. I look at the blue orb. Make a little move. Anything? Reaction? Flare up? Nothing. Fuck yeah, I'm free. All right. I'm going to go up and look at the trade map.

I'm going to scroll that piece of shit up, scroll that away. Okay. Ooh! This is the biggest item! I want to carry it! Oh! Get the hair! Get the hair! Get the hair! Oh! Oh! Oh my god!

Wow! That's hot. Oh my god. Yes! Gulch for the trail. Fucking brilliant. That's it. That's it. The Gulch is here. Fucking brilliant.

That's fucking hot. Oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wolf! Okay. Wolf! Uh, okay. Whew! The locked drawers are very tempting, but I've learned. Doors. That door. I don't need anyone else for this.

I'm going to put my back up against the, is it a bookcase or is it another fucking tea cart? No, this is an actual bookcase. Goddamn it! I'm not afraid! Wait. I'm going to look at either sides of the bookcase to see if there are any sorts of traps or why.

Is there anything that might? Make an investigation check. Okay. 16. 16. You don't sense any traps, but you do get the sense this bookcase is on a mechanism, but one you do not see the presence of around the bookcase. I go over to the desk.

I've made these kind of things before. I look under the desk for a button or a switch. Where is it, you fuck? You look underneath the desk and it looks to be just smooth wood underneath where the chair is set. Goddamn it. From my vantage point, can I look under other things

for some sort of a switch that only someone under four feet would see? Nothing in that space. Shit! There's just the drawers. I know it's here somewhere. Are there candlestick holders? No, there's just the orb in the center of the room that's giving the single source of light

beyond the faint bit of light that's coming through. Actually, no, at this point, any sort of external light has been covered in the rainy sky. So other than the distant torchlight, there's not much making it from the outside. Is there a drawer with a lock that has more wear on the outside of the lock than the others? Make an investigation check for me.

23. Damn! 23. On the left-hand top side, you can see where the keyhole is. There was much more wear on the wood surrounding where the metal entry point is. Let's go to work on that one. Go ahead and roll for me, please.

Come on, Jack. Come on, old man. Yeah, much better. 24. 24. Messing with it there, the door opens up slightly. As it opens up slightly, I look.

Glancing inside, you can see there is a small iron chest about that large, like a small, almost like a scroll case, but it is chest in its design with a flip top that is immediately visible there. And it looks to be a small leather-bound book about that big. Looks to be a small, leather-bound book about that big.

No, no, no, no. So it's an iron chest that's open or a leather? It's closed currently. I open it. Okay. You open it. On the inside, you see 100 platinum pieces. Oh! That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money.

That's a lot of money. And for that one there. We're going to Dalek's Closet. From there, there's also, say, six gold pieces. And that's all that's within that one, yes. Fuck. And there's a book, too? There's a book, yeah. There's a small Leather Mountain book,

yeah, about that big. And I'll do just a, do I see anything on the first couple of pages before I thumb it? There's only, it looks to be 20 pages in there. Only the first two are filled with any sort of text and writing. A lot of them seem to be shorthand notes.

Roll an intelligence check for me. Okay. Man, I don't remember the last time I rolled a fucking intelligence check. Ugh, 17. That's good. 17's pretty damn good. Oh, okay.

I don't know! We're so in one. 21 and 26 are far apart. Fair enough. The shorthand breaks into elements like pay, maid, order, dream set. The next one, and all the other ones are talking about

different connections to unions. Other one is talking about times that are set. It doesn't quite make up the details. And the one, another one that catches your eye says, Requested by Nightmare King. Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's make that one big. Whoa! Bring Alive.

Uh-oh. Oh boy. Oh boy. Bring Alive. What the fuck does that mean? Oh no. Nightmare King Bring him. Fuck, what's that? Oh no. Nightmare King. What's that? That's fine. Yeah, that sounds... Everything's okay.

That's on the top of the six drawers. One is on the other. Nightmare King. Are they all equal size, or is it that thing where the top ones are kind of smaller and the bottom ones are hefty? Actually, on this one, the top ones are larger and the bottom ones are thinner. Okay, I'll go to the top right one and see if...

Actually, I'll run back to the door and put my ear. Any sound? Nothing from the other one, no. I'll go back and try the upper. Chetney. What? We're going to lose connection soon. What do you mean? There's a time limit on this? There's a time limit on this.

How much longer? How you doing? Like a minute. I found a bunch of money in a trade route map. You don't have to yell. I can hear you. Oh, in a trade route map. Hell don't have to yell, I can hear you. Oh, in a trade route map. Hell. There's a door behind a bookcase. Oh, another one?

Yeah, but a real bookcase, and there's a mechanism. I'm trying to find it, but it wasn't under the desk. Maybe it's in one of the drawers of the desk. Let me look, and I'll try the upper right hand. The right hand? Go ahead and roll and see if you can unlock it. Come on, come on.

Yeah, 27. Yeah. Holy shit, you killer. Thank god Travis is rolling. God, it's good. Sometimes. I know. So you go ahead and hit the lock on the top right. Let's go. It opens up a bit.

You see there is a heavy velvet sack that is currently taut and tied, and... Crown Royale. That's all you see in there? It's full of Crown Royale. Tiny werewolf. Heavy velvet sack. Without opening it, can I feel the contents?

Does anything feel like a key or anything? No keys, but certainly a lot of coin. Oh shit, okay. How much time do we have left? I don't want to get stuck in here. Like a minute, I don't know, not long. Check the inside of the drawers. Could there be a button or something?

There's six drawers unlocked, too. Yeah, but have you touched all the inside of the drawers that you've unlocked? Oh, no. Look for a mechanism within them. I stick my hand in and reach around. On the one on the right? Yeah. You stick it in. You hit something.

And you hear behind you. Oh! Oh my god! Yes! Oh my god. I owe you my body when I get out. Okay. And I turn around. You turn around and you can see body when I get out. Okay. And I turn around. You turn around and you can see

where the bookcase was. There is an open area carved a little bit smaller than the size of the bookcase. And there is just a darkened staircase that distends. Uh-oh, uh-oh, you can't go alone. Uh-oh, what do you mean? You built your ass. We came for one thing and one thing only. Beast man, I'm going in.

Ooh. You go in? Yeah. Okay, roll a stealth check. Oh, no! Oh, god. Well, I mean, how the fuck are we going to get back here? Did you take all the money? Yeah, I got all the money. Okay. Should I not?

Last 20 seconds. Shit, shit! If you'd like to make a call. Please hang on. I mean, I really want to come back, but how the fuck are we going to do this? Hell yeah, you do, do you. I'm going, I'm going. Okay, roll a stealth check for me, please. Goddamn. I'm so excited

for your next character. Does he get advantage because he's invisible? I hate this. As invisible, he gets advantage on stealth, yes. Oh, I do get advantage on stealth? Because you're invisible, yeah. I hate this. Ooh. 16.

Is that bad? It's not great, it's not terrible. Terrible. Advantage. Okay. Yeah, the other one was a little bad. Yeah, that one was bad. As you begin heading down the stairs, you hear voices. One that, as you pick up the conversation, says, Our patron is pushing for legislation in the coming weeks,

so whatever you plot must be quickened. Another voice follows up. Your dullard mind fails to grasp the beautiful pattern I've already constructed across the city. Ira, I'm serious. Let us get this over with so that I might never deal with your cruel arrogance again.

Then bring me some river from the steppes. People no one would miss. And maybe a Mahon child just to spice things up. This next wave will. I will most certainly not bring you a child, you freak. I endure only a short time longer. Finish your work and be gone from my life. Of course.

Once my work is done, I shall leave. Footsteps begin to approach you. I back up. I go to the inside of the drawer and I click the button. You go and click the button. It's not closing. I shut the doors and I try and open the door and get out of the office.

The door is locked. There's no inside, Nick! Not that you've seen, huh? Oh god. I'm trying to do the lockpicking. Go ahead and roll for lockp no. Oh god. I'm trying to do the lockpicking. Go ahead and roll for lockpicking. Oh god! That's one. Chetney!

Now I'm going to ask you this again. What's giving you, are you rolling two d20s? Yes. New roll. Because? Next character has to be even older. No, not on this one. On this one, no, roll one. That's a 16.

Door's not budging. Fuck. I shut the drawers and I run across the office and I just put myself in the corner. Are you still invisible? I am. But I make myself small and tiny in the corner. Okay. Stepping into the room,

you see a, what looks to be a elven, half-elven man, light blonde hair, coiffed in the front a bit. He has sideburns that come to a point. He's wearing some nice clothing and he steps in. Goes ahead and reaches behind one of the nearby portraits you see hanging next to it and presses something and the bookcase shifts back into place.

Cool. Pulls the chair back and sits. Steps up and one of the ornaments you see on the wall, He steps up, and one of the ornaments you see on the wall, which is this sheathed saber, pulls free, and begins walking through the room. Looks out the window.

Looks underneath, small futon, slashes. Where are you? In the corner of us. Like, if you come in the door and the bookshelf's on the right, I'm in the far corner opposite of where the desk is. Okay. Slowly begins to make his way through the room,

swashing, cutting through the air. Oh god. But you're very short, so maybe he's cutting above you. Old man smell. Old smell. Old smell. Smells like bento. Slowly creeping closer to where you're currently resting. About five feet away. Three feet.

Right next to you. I run. Where? I run up, I jump on whatever bed or shelf is next to the window, and I'm going through that motherfucker. Yes! Through the window?

Yes! I don't know what's on the other side! I'm on the other bed! Gross, gross. Come on! The stained glass shatters as you fall and tumble out into the rain below. The rain's pouring on your face. Your head always goes,

What the? Rushes up, blade ready. You can see the elven man standing there looking out about. I take the tomato from the kitchen. I toss it. Towards him? Yeah! Okay, roll an attack. No, no, no, no! No, no!

Not an attack, I'm just tossing a tomato at him. Okay. Just in the direction? Yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? Diggity-diggity-diggity-diggity-diggity! Sonic the Hedgehog. As you rush off into the rainy evening, You're kidding me! Sarkajog. As you rush off into the rainy evening in the courtyard,

eyes peeled for your friends, the rest of you looking at each other, panicked, as the last conversation you had with Chetney, you seem to be lost within the office until you hear the shattering of glass in the distance and the shouting of voices. As you glance over into the now harder falling rain, we'll pick up the next one. Oh my god!

Oh my god! What a caper! Epic! What a caper! What a caper! Let's go! Oh my god! You got all the good shit on you, too. That's got to be a record for the show. We did three clusterfuck break-ins.

Oh, man. Bro! What a joke! That was insane! Oh, man. Fuck! My fucking wrists are throbbing. Did you get in your steps?

Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. Just from this game. You achieved your goal. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can feel the heartbeat in my eyes. All righty. You did though, you did. That's the way to go. Oh my god!

I can pay you back! So much money, I wonder how much you left back! He has it all. We're still in the gates. Not over yet. Oh shit. We'll pick up there next week. Welcome to the new year. Yeah, 2022! to the new year. Yeah, 2022!

Yay! Oh boy. Legend of Oaxacan on January 28th. That's right, yes! Soon! Oh! Mere days away. Oh my goodness.

Thank you all so much for joining us for this chaos. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Yay! Yeah! Good night. Bye-bye! Thank you for listening to this episode of Critical Role. If you've enjoyed this ever-weaving story, please consider rating and reviewing our podcast. You might just inspire someone new to hop on the wagon for the journey.

We have plenty more stories to tell. Stay tuned, and we'll see you next time.