Critical Role - Critical Role: Jester and Fjord’s Wedding: Live from Radio City Music Hall Part 1

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Part 1 Join us for an unforgettable evening of love and peril at the legendary Radio City Music Hall in New York City, as two of our Mighty Nein lovebirds, Jester and Fjord, embark on their greatest adventure yet: marriage! Captured live from Radio City Music Hall in New York City on October 7, 2025 CREDITSSet design by Shaun EllisSet fabricated by Flannel & HammerJester Processional Composed, written, and performed by Taylor Ash and Lindsay Dills. Duology Music House LLCCostumes by Jennifer NewmanLollipop Bouquet designed by Abbie StrausserLollipop Bouquet fabricated by Manzi DeYoungFjord and Jester artwork by frostbite.studiosAdditional Characrer art by Adelle KincelLead Make Up Artist: Dre Ronayne BEACONWe’re excited to bring you even MORE with a Beacon membership! Start your 7-day free trial today at https://beacon.tv/join and get unparalleled access to the shows you love completely ad-free! You’ll receive NEW Beacon exclusive series, instant access to VODs & podcasts, live event pre-sales, merch discounts, & a private Discord. YOUTUBE MEMBERS / TWITCH SUBSCRIBERSTwitch Subscribers and YouTube Members gain instant access to VODs of our shows, moderated live chats, and custom emojis & badges:https://www.youtube.com/criticalrole/https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole Follow us!Website: https://www.critrole.com  Newsletter: https://critrole.com/newsletter  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/criticalroleTwitter: https://x.com/criticalroleInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/critical_roleTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@criticalrole  Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey there, it's Liam O'Brien, and welcome to the Critical Role Podcast Network. We're stoked you're here, and thanks for making our stories part of your day. You're listening to Part 1 of this episode right now, and Part 2 will arrive this upcoming Tuesday. If you'd rather listen to the full episode right now and without any ads, consider becoming a beacon member. You'll receive access to exclusive content, discounts at all our online Critical Role shops, exclusive pre-sales for live events, and much more. Start your seven-day free trial today at beacon.tv. Well, that should cover it.

Now let's dive into the adventure. Radio City, please welcome the cast of Critical Role! And Regal! Liam O'Brien! Brian! Talison! Talies and Jaffe! Marisha Ray!

Ashley Johnson! Travis Willingham! And your dungeon master, Matthew Mercer! Welcome, Welcome friends. We are a down one member of our group, it looks like. Well, here, let us all remain seated so that everyone can receive

the bride to be of this evening, Laura Bailey. Thank you. Oh! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Well, now that we're all finally here, now that we're all finally here. Hello, everybody, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role. Let's go! Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around at Radio City Music Hall with you playing the dragon. Sure. That makes sense. But we're so happy to have you all here with us for this very special occasion.

Yes. Hello, everybody. Hello, New York City. Yeah! Yeah! As you all may realize, you are the very lucky, privileged few to get to see this web. getting live as it happens in real time. In real time. So that means don't be a dick. Don't post spoilers of this online.

Because everybody else will just have to wait and see. So enjoy your time. Take your photos, share your experiences. Just don't spoil anything that happens in the story. Yeah? All right. Or else, right? Or else.

I don't know what else, but or else. She will or else you. She will. Well, my friends, I believe that concludes our announcements for this live show. Oh. So with that, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's live show episode of Critical Role. Oh, we're done. Oh!

Oh! Oh! The adventure! The adventure! They were always beside you. You're nearer. And the deem to guide you. And they rise from the flames.

flames for the battles ahead. Villains be weird as you're about to be dead. They got magic and flare. They got factual coming. They'll see over there. There's a monster in coming. Inspiration is waiting. Rise up, don't think twice.

But you're fading your hands take a chance for the dice. Can you answer the call? Run! Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul. As the legend unfolds, now it's your turn to roll. Hey, remember when that was a cool little animated thing, and now we're actually coming out with a full animated thing soon?

Anyway, an age has ended. The rise of the cult known as the Ruby Vanguard has locked the Red Moon of Ill Omen Ruudis into their plot, and the world did rise up to stop them. The existential threat to the gods themselves was rebuffed, binding them to the cycle of mortality. And Exandria now meets a new era with uncertainty. But in the midst of these struggles, a simple moment shined above many to bring renewed hope. A request to unite two heroic souls in matrimony. When Ford, pumped full of adrenaline,

asked Jester to be his bride, and she gratefully said yes. Now, some time later, the very air around Nicodranus is a buzz with the imminent celebration. celebration. Horses, carriages, ships arrive to the gorgeous coastal port city from all over the world to gather for these nuptials. The lavish chateau itself is lively with employees redecorating the entire interior to host the evening reception to come while the wedding parties

finished sleeping off an eventful evening before. Ford, would you please describe to me? Yeah. Got ya. Ford, if you would mind describing the chamber and the condition in which we find here in the early morning of the wedding day? Yes, yes, of course. It's not exactly a chamber. You see, it's outdoors.

I seem to have found my way with one arm still in the trough of the backside of the stables that I'm in. I think I came here hydration at some point. I also smell a little bit like vomit and alcohol. I'm missing a sleeve for some reason. It's just a sleeve. Don't ask me why. And nearby I can hear people drinking in the clatter of silverware and plates, but I sort of start to sit up and oh, God, could the sun be any brighter? Where? Bo!

You look like, shit. Like, real shit. You left me out here with the pigs? No, I slept right beside you, man. I wasn't going to do that. Hang on, wait, where's Caleb? I kind of like poke at a bale of hay. Caleb sits up, hair akimbo, sticking totally up on one side. What time is it?

Wait a minute, why do I not know exactly what time is it? Where are we? What? Yeah, we just had a little bottle service by way of Beauregard Lionette, so... But look, I planned for this. I knew this was going to happen, and I pull out of my suit coat, out of my pocket, three little, like, tiny bottles of lighter registration potions. Okay. Just a little, like, you know, a little liquid IV.

Just take the edge off. Yeah, a little... The next morning. Electrolites, and I hand it over to them. Oh, you're a lifesaver. This is absolutely amazing. Before anyone quops a potion, a completely manicured in place

to the nines, Caleb pops his head in the doorway of his place. Oh, are you all awake now? Is everyone good? What? What? Oh, yeah, remember? No, I don't. That's our DD.

What did double... Double, double, what? Well, you said you wanted to steal a boat, and I didn't think that we should have everyone be completely for schnickered, so I withstained while Caleb Prime enjoyed himself, and I've been standing guard

outside all night, but is my nightmare over? It is probably the lionette liquor still in my veins. Did he say we wanted to steal a boat? We did steal a boat. Yeah, not wanted, my friend. Succeeded.

Of course. Of course we did, my chums. We stole the boat. Yes, we did. Look, we delivered it back home. The guy will never know. Caleb 1 says, I don't remember any of that. Caleb 2 says, oh, you had quite a time of it.

You are running around the deck, throwing fire in the L, yelling, Eldridge Blast, Eldridge Blast all night long. For 67 minutes it went on. before you passed out. Sometimes that's all you've got. Do you remember what we named the boat? It was awesome. It was a great idea. I had a good idea.

Yeah, we'll say this name at the same time. Yeah, okay, ready? One, two, three. Four's last mistake. Did you say four skin? No, why would you hear that? It's not a bad name for a boat. Hear what you want to hear.

I'm glad we got it back in its owner's hands. that's very responsible of us. Yes. Did anyone die? No, it came close. We managed to jump aboard the ship from about 500 yards away. We took it out for a bit.

Bo entreated me to put giant neon script on the side of the ship. So I'm pretty sure the government and the constabulary here are looking for us still because there was pyrotechnics in the middle of the harbor. And also... We were surrounded by water.

Caleb, you also molded a rock out in the middle of the harbor into a naked pirate man with a tusk tooth on the butt. Oh, that's right. Chester's going to kill me. To tell me we got away, Scott free, no one saw our faces, it went much better than the first time. Yeah. It's fine.

It's fine. Meanwhile. Elsewhere in Nicodranus, the morning after, after her Bachelorette evening shenan. Jester, if you wouldn't mind describing where we find you and in what condition? Oh, you find me in my bed at the Lavish Chateau.

Silk, fluffy pillows. And around me are all of my friends. We have Vath, Yasha, Kingsley, Essek. and fern. Yeah. Hi. And we are all in matching silk pajamas. And just as beautiful as could be.

In fact, flying in the door right now or a bunch of little hamster unicorns carrying trays of water and pastries and refreshments. That was such a wonderful. wonderful night, you guys. It was. It's crazy how well rested I feel. Yeah. Yeah.

I thought we would have stayed out later, but I guess, as your matron of honor, I just assumed you would have liked the place a little bit more that I chose. Well. I mean, Nicodranus' only all Minotaur Review strip show. Hot to trot. Yeah. Where you can always be horny on Maine.

It is a really great establishment, you know. I thought that you would like it more, but, but, you know, I, maybe that's a me thing. Yeah. No. You know, when you climbed the last Minotaur and started riding his horns, you know, I thought it was really funny, but the manager didn't, and they kind of kicked us out. Yeah, we didn't even. I don't know if you remembered. Oh, I remember everything.

We only had milk shots, so. I know, they're so good, aren't it? They are. My stomach is a little queasy. Well, some had chocolates, some had strawberry. So good. Yeah, it was. And then we were home by 9 o'clock. Yeah.

And then we did each other's makeup. It was so wonderful. Essek, you look beautiful. Thank you, kindly. He's currently, like, trying to wipe the eye shadow out of his eyes before looking in the mirror and going, Why did nobody tell me I look like a raccoon? But, honestly, a very interesting menagerie cultural experience.

Do you do this for every wedding? We haven't had a lot of weddings. No, not too many. You should do this for every wedding, especially Chadwick. Oh, Chadwick, aka Thunderhoves. A very talented young man. Yes. Oh, my God.

Yes, did you go to the private room for a little while? No, I would never. Oh, okay, because you disappeared for a bit. Maybe that's your magic. I had to go deal with some things. Steal? But I am not... What did you have to do?

I just had to steal myself. Are you lactose intolerant? Yes, I'm extreme... It seemed like you were pretty steely. I can assure you. He was not in the private room at any time. There is a specific shade of lavender blush that takes his face.

He says, I am a devoted partner. But as we've both agreed, it's okay to look. What happens in Nicodranus stays in Nicodranus? I've never heard that before. I made it up just now. I was wondering. Oh, yes, do you smell Pace? because they're in here.

Did you want one? We have blueberry. We have raspberry. These ones have mango. What is mango? Give it a rot. Like he goes, floats in the middle air and slowly lowers. Way too ostentatious, this sort of glyph circle

that surrounds the pastry as he glides it into his mouth and takes a little nibble. Ah. I like your friendship. Wait, where's Caduceus? Caduceus. He was here. Well, that's right. He was driving the cart, wasn't he? That was the last time I saw him.

Caduceus! About this time, downstairs within the actual Lava Chateau proper, within the main entertaining region of this massive, beautiful abode. You see the hanging massive iron chandeliers have been completely redecorated with ribbons of cream and pink of all shades, bows and flowers set upon in this beautiful, almost tent-like tapestry above. There are all manner of small glowing globes that kind of sparkle and give little bursts of color

being set up as various stools and step ladders are set up all around. The entire workforce here is darting back and forth to try and get things finished in time. As you can see, Marion herself, Jester's mother, currently wrapped in this beautiful, like feather boa-curled, robe is currently shouting directions to her various employees.

Right behind them in the corner, you see an elven woman, look to be kind of the human equivalent of 50s or so, long blonde hair, sit in a small booth currently next to Caduceus. Her eyes kind of bloodshot, like she hasn't slept all night. This is Deferad Collios, the hired wedding planner for the event, who is currently has a heavy ledger and a stack of papers looks like three broken quills

and caduce this to their side goes are we done with our business Mr. Clay? No, there's only just about four more things I wanted to bring up. I know that the flowers right now, it's the right shade of pink. Don't get me wrong. It's the beautiful shade of pink. It's going to be a little while, though. And as you know, flowers start to go. By the time that the actual ceremony starts, this is going to be like maybe an

I don't know if you've really... Has anyone actually thought this through? Mr. Clay, we have gone through all of the specifications with Chester and her family. Everything has been triple approved. I assure you if the bride had any issues with it, I would have been notified. Would you please just leave me alone? Of course. Of course.

Is that really how you fold napkins? That seems a little too... I have to speak with my partner and gets up and steps away, at which point the doors kind of hit the sides heavily as Ford, Beauregard and Caleb entered the establishment here in the late morning of the day. What's up, Bridal Biddle bitches? You look around the chamber, and all you see

is the various workers of the chateau and Caduceus. Did you... Oh. Where's the bridal party? At this point in time, you begin to hear the clop, clop, clop, clop, clop of most sets of feet, one gliding. As the bridal party all wrapped up. and they're silk robes, they're matching silk robes, descend from the staircase of the second floor at the chateau.

Oh, hello. Did you all party hard? So hard. Yeah, it was real hard. Wait, I've never had so much milk. Oh, oh. I wish that was a euphemism, it's really not. Yeah, no.

Ah, you're seeing each other. No, you're not supposed to see each other. Oh, I turned Jester Invisible. No one's dressed yet. Why can't we see each other? Isn't that a thing? I think it's when you're dressed up, right? I don't know. I'm just really on edge.

It's been a lot being the matron of honor for this one over here. Everything has to be monogrammed. I haven't slept in days. I'm sorry. You see, this is what happens when there's not enough organization. People start to freak out. It's no good for anybody. Of course. I mean, so much stress. That's why people go out and commit illegal acts the night before they get married, you know? Understandable. I'm sure you all are being chased by city guards as well, yes?

Illegal acts, that's so weird. What are you talking about? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Your sister joke, honey. Caleb turns to Caleb and says, I've put you through enough. Good night. And he collapses in a pile of water on the floor.

Aw, I was just about to invoke duplicity. That would have been so much fun. Maybe at the wedding, dear. Where are you, by the way? Oh, I'm here. And I flick his ear. Asa glides over to Caleb and says, Looks like you had quite an evening there, boy.

We did all right, a little bit of vandalism, a little bit of arson, you know. Typical Friday night. How did you fare? Pretty well. Went to bed early. broken some beasts of burden. Jesus. Oh my God.

Holy crap. Essex a freak. Esse goes hard. You will. You will have to regale me later. By the way, I really like this smoky look. Oh, thank you kindly. Don't worry. I have an idea for our next date night.

True Polymorph. Yeah. Yeah. You've all been a bad influence on this boy. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Oh, you look so hot in this robe.

Thank you. I really like silk. Yeah, it kind of... Turns out. It lays well on my muscles. Yes, it does. How was your night? Oh, my God, it was so good.

Got into so much trouble. It was awesome. I missed you a lot. I missed you too. And I wish we would have been together because I felt like I was kind of like at an eight-year-old's birthday. But listen, I love kids, so, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a lot of experience with kids. Yeah, well, maybe we'll have a do-over. Maybe after the ceremony. Yeah. Maybe just you and me? Yeah. Some grand larceny.

Yeah. Sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. What's Fern up to right now? Oh, that's right. I forgot Fern was here. You know what's totally crazy, though? Is Fern is not technically in the wedding party?

But we ran into her at Hot Trot. Yeah, I was just there. She's a regular. Yeah, I have one of those, like, subscription cards. Oh, geez. And I've had, like, five of them, and I just stamp right through them. Ten left dances. Isn't it great there?

Big fan of Chadwick. Does this mean the rest of your partier with you here in town for the wedding? Um, I don't know. I just, I wanted to have like a night on the town of my own, you know? I did invite them though. They, hopefully they will come. Essek. I think they will. Neat, Bokope.

I look forward to it. You have said so much about this strange noddle. This strange nautil'd man is so cool. He is pretty cool. Is he? He has his moments. He can turn into a wolf. Interesting.

Noted. Cannon, Essek, furry. Laura Bailey, you stop. You stop. It's her wedding day. She can do whatever she does that. The nearby doors open as Marian re-enters the chambers. And I was like, all right, I need my daughter's wedding to be perfect.

We have to have the chocolate fountain installed on the far side there. Pumont is going to bring it in the next hour or so. It has been thoroughly enchanted. My beautiful sapphire, it runs up and takes you in her arms and just holds you tightly and picks you up. I cannot believe the day. It's coming. You are getting married today. Today? To that guy! Ruby, it is a pleasure as always to see you. You look radiant.

Oh, I know. Oh, I guess I dropped to invisibility. Ah! Hi, hi, hi. I'm not invisible anymore. I'm so sorry. This is your mother. Oh, yes. Fern? This is my mother? Marion Levor. My God. My god.

You are amazing. Do you have perhaps background in dancing at all? Yes, I used to be a professional dancing. Oh, jeez. If I could get your contact information, dear, I would love to get you in contact with our talent agent. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yes. Oh, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

I could perform here. That would be amazing. Oh, my God. We have to try her out at least. We have still have auditions. Oh, no, she'll be great. I'll be great. I'll be great.

You don't even have to have an audition. Just give me a night and I'll show up and kill it. I appreciate her. You're silverware. A pleasure to meet you, Fern. Q as well. Dear. Yeah.

The planner's been a bit anxious this morning. Why? Because people walk up a little later that they're anticipated. And the events of the day are quickly coming up. upon us. Oh, okay. I'm going to handle things here. I need to get ready as well. I have my own. I know it's your wedding, but your mother has to look her best.

Always. And nothing will run. Well, you still do my makeup, though, later, right? Of course. Okay. I wouldn't dream of missing it, my love. Okay. I'll take care of that wedding planner. No problem. I'm going to go finally. Right now, make sure that they're on it. I'll see all.

Thank you, Caduceus. At this moment, Deborah Ag, goes like, oh, hello everybody. Good morning. We've had some great conversations, but we've finished all that we need to discuss. So we have a number of things to do with today. We have the ceremony. It's going to happen before sunset. So eat up, gather your event companions.

I think we have all of them here. Don't know who you are. We have to be a little hasted. Things take longer than anticipated in this sort of plan. can welcome the guests while they begin to arrive for the actual ceremony while the bride gets ready. Oh, yes, of course. I can handle that. We have chamber set within the actual lighthouse itself for makeup and getting dressed, and then we will have the actual ceremony. We've had a number of your guests arrive over the past day or two that have been keeping to themselves,

and the majority are going to be arriving this afternoon. We will be keeping as many as we can here as well as sending them off to various inns and establishments that I still have to finish organizing. So, um, get ready. You're doing great. Thanks. And she runs out of the chamber. She is so messed up. Yes, very high. High strong. Very stress. Do you need any help before we go out and people wrangle?

No, you look sweaty. Are you okay? I'm a little dehydrated. Do you need some water? I can get it, yes. We just had the best night. Ford? Did you get super wastey pants?

I had lesser restoration potions. It's fine, it's fine. Oh, okay, okay. It's been a lot of money on them. The prairie oysters are still setting in, give him another couple. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a great time, though. Yeah?

Wonderful, yes. Okay, good. Inside check. First roll of the night. All right, Beth, insight, Ford. Persuasion or deception, based on what your answer was. Just a 12. 13.

Something's not right about him, but I can't figure out what. I had a fucking awesome time last night. No trouble at all. Thank you very much. Insight check. 24. 22. As it glides about an inch higher off the ground

and gives you a full bottom-to-top glare and goes, it seems they did have some fun. Thank you. Beau and Caleb and I will head towards the lighthouse immediately. We will make sure that everyone knows exactly where they're going after I brush my teeth, and we get cleaned up. Make a shower. You smell like a pig's eye. You do kind of stink a little bit, but I think you are still great, but definitely take a shower. You look beautiful, by the way.

Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. I'll see you in a bit. Okay. What do I do? What does the best man do at a wedding? Do you help me get dressed and clean, and then you make sure all the clothes are there? You have the rings?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got them. I got them. I got them. I'm not touching your balls, so you can wash those. I didn't. Okay, it's fine. About this time, you begin to gather your things and head out to your respective responsibilities in preparation for the coming event,

And you can already hear in the city, like people that even aren't invited to this wedding are whispering about it. People are asking questions. Some folks who'd heard about it and are trying to figure out how best they can get a view of the nothing. They can totally come. Do they want to come?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think it's full. Yeah. I just don't want anybody to feel like they didn't get invited if they want to be there. What's the point of having a guest list if you can't tell a few people they can't come? Caduceus.

Wow. I'm seeing a new side of you through all. this. It's just if we had a good flow chart, none of this would, wouldn't have someone running around not knowing what to do with the flower arrangements and those napkins. Caduce's can low key be a catty bee. You hear the heavy footfalls from approaching galloping horse and a cloaked shape. Stops up on the side of one of the nearby inns and you see the cloak,

thrust back and you see a cloud of fluffy white hair as two snow-blind eyes and a leather-wrapped figure. Chikostis steps off the horse and turns around throwing the cloak over the shoulder. You made it. Hey, baby, how you doing? Oh my God. I wasn't going to miss this for the world.

I thought you might come to me yesterday or something, but I'm so glad to see you now. Happy to see you too, dear. Everything's going on inside. You can totally go in, start partying, if you want. Already. There's going to be a chocolate fountain. I've never had a chocolate fountain. Princess? The hummingbird darts inside the chateau as he kind of enters the interior and goes,

hmm, that smells lovely, and kind of vanishes into the inside. You also notice just around the corner, there's like a plant where, like, a small family is in the process of kind of working through a garden and setting things up, and there's a familiar voice that's kind of teaching you could hear. It's like, well, you see, out there's a funny thing about putting things into the ground. You have to give a time to grow. And you kind of glance over as you see the, like, sea-weathered, aged eyes and gray hair of the bearded Vandran as he looks up straight over to you for it.

Wow. My man never thought I'd see the day. Captain, you're looking very well. Well, excuse me, son. I'll be right back. I just got to deal with another son. Comes up and gives massive back clapping hug and pulls you in tight. I don't know if I'd ever really said it true before, because it's not really a thing that was ever said.

and my times as much, but real proud of you. That means more than I can say. I didn't know if you were going to make it, but I don't have much in the way of family and you being here means everything. Wait you see, Jester, she is absolutely beaming. I don't think I've ever seen her otherwise. Fair point

But I'm excited I'm just hoping I don't rot the rest of my teeth With some of these sweets I've been seeing on the outskirts But You're getting things ready I'll see you at the ceremony Let me go ahead and help Timothy here Learn how to properly set a garden

One thing And I reach in my pockets And I take out a little metal pin That I've pressed It's got a little A seal with an anchor in the wreath of the wild mother around it. And it's something that I'm giving to the best man

and Caleb on my side. And I want you to have this. Please, wear it. He opens up his heavily calloused and scarred palm and kind of accepts it before his fingers close around it. His, like, meady hand. And so small and delicate, but the symbol in that grip,

he holds it so tight. He kind of just looks down at it. Thank you. Thank you for being there. when it mattered. Thank you for learning from my mistakes. Well said. Friends?

Turns back to the garden that's down with the boy and says, Now, you see, you've got to till the lamb. If you don't turn over the dirt, it's not going to get the nutrients to it. The little boy's just a... He's going to be doing that for the next few hours, I think. Anyone that will listen. Eventually, you all begin to head southward through the city,

past the beautiful arches themselves now nearly completed in their decoration in the colors and themes of the nuptials this later afternoon. Other folks can't help but glance out now that words got around over the recent weeks of who is getting married and the type of people that are starting to show up from around the world here to be a part of it. So you can see, like, even little, you know, like street gutter kids who, you know,

I'd love to go out there and play in the dirt when their parents aren't looking are kind of leaving up to the side and watching you with wide eyes as you walk by. A little girl kind of sneezes and looks at you afraid that she may have caught your attention. Catches your glance. And then red thirts off down the way. You can hear the gulls beginning to through the airs, the smell of the sea and the kind of salt. see, briny wind begins to blow past the looming, towering shape of the lighthouse

of Nicodranus guides you all to the southern cliffside of the city. There you see the massive stone-sculpted shape of the Wild Mother, looking out to the ocean, her robes flowing around her base, the beautiful symbol of land and the land. and see and what it means to feel protected. Even without her direct influence on Exandria at this moment, the history there has weight. And indeed, the surroundings are already massively bustling. There are no less than five, maybe six long tables

that have all manner of three, four-tiered plates that are yet waiting to receive their bounty of various baked goods, cookies, and treats. You could see beautiful white, pink peach and cream-colored flowers and rose bushes have been set in, brought to this location and planted around the base of the towering lighthouse. You can see trees that didn't exist before and don't normally grow in this part of the land, this part of the world, are now fully... present, like they've always been here, with blooms of beautiful white and pink leaves.

You see not far off the side, a woman kind of wiping her brow of sweat, having finished growing one of these trees rapidly through magical means, her red hair and large antlers curling upward, takes a small cloth and wipes her brow as a small cloth and wipes her brow as Another woman with similar dark hair walks out and pads on their shoulder and says, Why don't you take a rest, dear? You've been working all morning. No, you don't understand. These wedding trees have to be perfect. Say they don't even exist. I just made them up. I don't even know what a wedding tree is, but I made a pink tree. That's a true act of creation, dear. And that's incredible.

I know. I know. It might upset the ecology of the coastline. Don't do this to me right now. Okay. I'll get rid of them afterwards, okay? I'm not trying to create an invasive species or anything. It'll be fine. I understand, but as your mother, it's important to me to let you know just to be aware of the responsibility of the impact you have around you. Okay, Mom.

Thanks. Look, it's just, you know, Mighty Nine, they did a lot. They've saved the world not once, but like kind of twice. And, you know, they've earned this. Oh, they brought us back together, so I owe them everything as well. Yeah. This has to be special.

And it's at that moment over your shoulder. You see Jester and Ford and the wedding parties arriving. Trees! Oh my gosh! Do you like them? I tried, I got the color swatches from your wedding planner. Yeah, yeah, they're amazing. She seems like a very stressed woman.

But I tried to really, like, capture, you know, the light pink and the salmon, even. But you never want to go to salmon. Salmon can kind of turn off. No, yeah, I totally get it. It's the perfect shade of pink. These trees are beautiful. I hope they stay here forever. Okay.

All right, well. This is very important. Did the tree stay here forever? We'll talk about it afterwards. Maybe I can put them in a pot. Does anyone have a pot? What a beautiful wedding present? Keeleth.

And then every time we come down to the beach, people will remember this. wedding. Where's to, tell Deborah, tell the wedding planner to get pots, big pots. It'd be good. It'll be great. I love you. Thank you. You look beautiful.

You're not even like fully in again. I'm not even dressed. I, you know, this is just a robe. I can't believe we walk through the city in our rob. This is so exciting. Well, you have the glow of a woman in love. I am. Good.

I am. You do too. Thank you. What else gonna do? Oh, wait, oh, wait, don't touch the dahlias. Get away from the dolly. I go over and, like, shoo off some kids. Everybody's doing so good.

Around this time, Deferod shows up again. Good, you've all arrived, wonderful. I'll show you to your very arrangements, to your dressing chambers that we've set within the lighthouse, where you can prepare yourselves four-inch pulls at a pocket watch. Oh, goodness. We need to get you dressed. I take the robe of my, the sleeve of my robe,

and I start dabbing the forehead. Withdraws a bit. It's like, oh, no, you just calm down. Everything's going to be fine. Kind of just, like, looks at you for a minute, kind of sighs. You're right. You're absolutely right. Just take.

Don't fuck it up, okay? That's my girl. We have to get the pillars installed and turns and starts calling over some of the nearby... You see Blued is off to the side and is currently helping a few of their figures. Like they're pulling these massive stone pillars over. They're rolling them and then setting it up

to kind of frame a path that leads towards the cliffside. And what you do notice at a quick glance, From this distance, where the trees were set up beyond that, there is a platform, a dais with stairs that lead up. Stone cobbled and ivy overgrown. And there, seemingly grown out of the stone itself, a beautiful arch of twisting vines and flowers that resembles the traveler's gateway.

Two chandeliers are set to the sides of it. Candles not yet set or lit. You can see streamers being set up. The pillars are being locked from side to side, beautiful bushes. Oh, my gosh. Cool. You can already see, in just the short time you've been, this is going to be an event to remember. What?

What? That's cool. Do we have to get dressed? Is it time? Oh, I don't know. Caduceus. Do we have to get dressed? You should have been dressed five minutes ago. Really, we're all running behind me. Okay, I'll cast...

You have to ask. I'll cast haste on Jester. Oh! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Good technique. I don't know why I'm so excited right now. Let's go. You all go get ready, okay?

Because I know I'm not in the party, but I'm going to go help your mom get undressed. You want to be in the party? Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, it's okay. It's okay. Sorry.

Sorry. And I'll wait for everybody to get here, But Chester, I love you so much. I love you, Farn. Thank you so much for coming out with us last night. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you're here. Me too.

Bye, everybody. Hey, why am I missing, like, my money pouch? I must have lost it last night. You went hard. You all? Caleb nudges forward quietly says, Hey, do you see that dark speck out on the water? about a half a mile that way.

I do, yes, why? That's a naked statue of you with your doodle out. Try not to look at it when you're saying your bow. It's got a tusk tooth tattoo in its ass, it's awesome. It doesn't go away after like an hour? Not today. Wait, should we all get matching tusk tooth tattoos after this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no. That could be awesome. No, more chaos, no. I bet Chester would be into it. I'm just saying it could be great. Did I hear tattoos? Yeah, yeah. You know, here's the thing.

For a wedding present, I haven't given you guys anything yet. I was thinking I could give everyone tattoos. You know, because I've been wanting to tattoo all of you guys over and over and over again. I'm going to be honest. I've always been very curious about this tattoo thing. Maybe it, I don't know, gives me more of a bad boy edge. Yeah, I could definitely give you something.

I look at Caleb. What have you done to him? Turned him out. Is this the gift-giving part of the day? Have we reached that point? I don't know. Caduceus, is this the gift-giving part of the day yet? At this point, I would just assume that the 25 minutes that we put aside for it later on after the cake is gone now. So might as well get to it.

Should we get dressed first? I don't know. Caleb eyeballs Essek really quick. Do you have it, dear? Right. Yours? I can get that for you. Okay. I'm just going to do this now.

Huh. This is something that and Caleb drags Veth into the side that Essek and I and Veth have been, Bo helped too. I picked out the box and I told Caleb it was a great idea. We have been working on this for 382 days. about an hour a day. I have been, I did the designs, I shaped them myself,

I picked the gems for them, and I'd just like to give these to you before the day gets too crazy. We've been working on this since before we were even engaged? I guess that math, yeah. Yeah, he has foresight. Don't I though? At any rate,

At any rate, and Essek pulls out of his robes a small silver and platinum amulet, a medallion that looks like a very stylized, thin spin on the traveler gate symbol. And Caleb pulls out of his clothes what looks like the same material, very pale platinum and silver gems of an anchor encrusted in a floral design. and Caleb walks up to Ford and Essex purchased you Jester and we start to place these two amulets over your neck. These are, well, I've called them the Hidden Haven amulets and we have made them for you together

and they will keep you safe. I tied the bows on the strings. I've been real busy at work. Boregard was crucial. piece of yours. So they will keep you safer, but also they are going to give you a place to celebrate tonight after the ceremony and every night. And if you join the two amulets together, if the anchor is placed within the arch, it completes

an arcane script that wraps around the entire combination. And if you merely say the words and they have to be together and you have to be holding it. If you say, mine herds, mine heirs, mine heaths, which means my heart, my home, but I thought it would be funnier if I made you speak in Zemian.

And you will call into being a doorway that will lead you into your own fraction of a tower. A honeymoon suite. A honeymoon suite. To be used once a day, and one of you

has to be holding it, and however you imagine it to be, so it would be. Caleb, this is incredible. Thank you, Essex. Only from minds of you and you. Three wizards, three wizards. You did this too bad? And also Beau.

We've been enchanting for a long time. Yeah, it's pretty hard work, but every once in a while, Caleb would stop time to give us an extra day or two. There was a quota every day. I think the bows are my favorite part. And the room is always full of cats, Ford. They're full of what? It's always full of cats.

That is no but, not yes and, no but. There are no cats in there. There are no cats in this room. Thank you. This is incredible. That is so thoughtful. I can't wait the bone inside of it. Jester! What?

Speaking of, Jess, just curious, do you know what to do in that department? Okay. I mean, as your matron of honor, I'm supposed to prepare you for this wedding night. And if you haven't done it yet, I could show you some techniques or just give you some points. That's sort of why we went to the place last night. I wanted you to get a... I saw you doing a lot of moves. Yeah, yeah. You can use all of those.

Okay. To be fair, she's been keeping it fresh for a very long time. It's true. You know what, Vett, I will always take advice from you if you want to give it. But for this, I don't understand what that means. Well, for the finest, we've done it before, and it's really good if you know what I'm. But you're not married yet. But you're not married yet.

We've lived together. On a ship. On a ship. Nights at sea, the motion of the ocean. Oh my God, I've got to take another fucking minute of this. Yeah, it's maritime law. Yeah. Sometimes all you have to do is ride.

That's right. And the waves, they just take you. It's super fun. You did this. Right now, you're the one who made them talk. But no, please, all the advice you can spare. I'm sure I know things that you don't. I'm sure that's true. Well, I'm proud of you for being a little vixing. I can't believe she thought I hadn't done it yet.

Oh, where am I supposed to be putting this chocolate fountain? As around the corner, you see Pumat Sol and two other Pumats all dressed in long, kind of light green and silver robes, kind of just form a attire, all carrying a large stone, multi-tiered fountain. Where are we supposed to put this? I'm not sure, but probably right near the beach. That's a hundred-foot cliff. Oh.

It goes right beside the beach. It goes right beside the first dessert table, right in between. Here, let me help, let me help it. All right, no, thank you very much. Caduceus tries to find a place to help to hold, but it's just getting in the way of everything. All right, no. It's over in this direction.

All right, Pumet, Pumad, carried over there. No worries, we got it. We'll lift up. Say it on right, Pumet, you got it? Yeah, don't worry, Pumat, I got it. All right, ready? On three, three, three. We're all going.

They all kind of lift and set it over to the side. Like, are we bringing this to the reception two later? Did no one reach the plan? I think, yes, it's supposed to be the reception, actually, from the get-go. I don't know if it was supposed to be here. But you can start it here and move it. You could, you know what? If you want to, you could put it over on the beach,

and that way we can get a little strawberry action before we go up to the altar. Chocolate fondue does not typically do well with high tide. Or it sounds a little weird with sand as well. You know, leave it here, and then we can take it to reception after. Are really ignoring the 100-foot cliff part? That was a big deal. Everything else doesn't matter.

You've got to go down a hundred feet. Are you afraid of falling off a cliff? Wow. Tell you what, we'll just go ahead and take it back to the chateau. But, uh, hey. Huh? Congrats you too. Thank you.

You know, first day I saw you both, I looked over and was like, ah, you could just tell the puppy love, ain't that right, Pumatch? Oh yeah, you can tell from the way they looked at each other, they were just destined to be together. That's so strange. It seems like we were about to die the first time we were in his shop, yeah. Or is that too, but you know, sometimes you need to be reminded of your mortality to really figure out who's important to you.

For just the best relationships, am I right? You're coming to the wedding, right? Of course. Okay. And you are and you are? Oh, yeah. We're supposed to be here, right? Yeah.

No, that's the whole point. Other Pumet's still holding the shop for us while we're out here. A lot of stuff on back order. Wait, wait, three seats? Do we need, you need three. If that's a problem, some of us can stand. No, no, no, I'll figure it out. Nope, we'll figure out.

You seem really put off by this, good. No, no. Don't mean it has a problem. This was, no, this was not you. This was not you. You're fine. Let's go over the math together. Respectfully, we'll go ahead and take this back to the chateau. He watches Pum out, suddenly hulks out.

His body swelling with magical power so he can lift the fountain all by himself on one shoulder and goes, you do take a break, see if they need any help. He just kind of lumberes back towards the rest of the interior of Nicodranus. Did that turn you on, Beth? I mean, the Minotaur, I've seen a ton of them in the last 44 hours, but yes, it did. I'm a simple woman. We really shouldn't be surprised that she wants to pass on her secrets.

I mean, have you seen Yazza? He walks with a limp now. She is a machine. Limp and a smile. As you all head into your wrist, respective chambers outfitted in the inside of the Wild Mother's Lighthouse. The beautiful interior has an enchanted music box that sets continuous violin music bound that kind of gives this jovial event-filled beautiful sound as you all begin to gather your clothing, gather your accessories, gather your Kutraman, and get the rest of your

troop prepared for the event. As you all separate into your bride and groom elements of this lighthouse, you begin to hear outside, the sound of the crowd begin to grow. You take glances out the windows at parts of the lighthouse and looking down, you can see a number of figures kind of talking in the corner. You see a half-scaled face in a beautiful dark green dress as Callianna is having a conversation with Orly, who is dressed in this custom massive jacket put over his shell, holes cut in the back for his massive pipes that kind of push out the side with little bows on them. He's got a formal eye patch on that has a little tusk tooth embroidered into it.

Yes. I'm talking on one end. You can see it down Yussa and Kegg are currently having a conversation while they're pulling strawberries from a platter of creamed fruit. You can see now they're starting to put out all manner of cream puffs. You can see there's beautiful little little. little treat sandwiches and chocolate rolls and donuts. So many donuts, varieties.

Many had not seen from all around Exandria, imported and brought beyond. You glance over and you can see Kilith and Villia have finished up with the final tree that is now blooming and blossoming. This is a beautiful sight, and everyone has pulled together to make this a memorable event. You see, Yeza has sat down and is having a conversation. with Nila, who was there with her family. Even just a glance off to the side, you can see Alura and Kima have just arrived,

and they rush up to give Keelith and Villia a big hug. There's a knock at your door jester as you're in the middle of getting dressed. Hello, come in. Unless you're Ford. Don't come in. Don't come in. Don't come in.

Well, answer out the door for. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yes, yes, yes. Veth will go over and open the door. Who is it? You open the door and you see a tricorned figure in a long, dark coat, kind of a scarf around the neck. But you see a glint of a smile across a dark blue face

and a glimmer of sweat, perpetually dripping from his brow. Oh, shit. Hi, I'm here to see my daughter if that's all. Oh, my God. Oh, Jester, you have a visitor, but before you go in there, here, I'll give him a towel.

You might just want to clean up first. It's good to see you, too. And he takes the towel, dabbles his brow, and puts it into your hand. Thank you, kind. He steps in. Hi!

Jester, my dear, you look radiant, even unfinished. Yeah, it's gonna be so much more pretty once everything is on. I'm sure. I have to keep a low profile for reasons, but I just want you to know I'm going to be here. You're coming? I wouldn't miss it for the world. Mama's going to be so happy.

I hope so. Oh my gosh, her dress? Her dress. You know, I mean, she always looks good, but her dress is beautiful today. I'm very excited to be present. Do you have a present for me? He goes to me? My presence is a present.

Oh, yeah. But if indeed it is material wealth you require. I mean I don't require it. How soon is the event this afternoon? Two hours? Yeah, just before sunset. Let me see what strings I can pool. I still have a few contacts that haven't gone completely underground here in Nicodontas.

Comes up, it takes your hand. As complicated as life has been and continues to be in some regards, I just want to say that I've watched you grow these recent years, and while I'm still sad that I've missed so much of who you were and who you've become to have the opportunity now to see who you will ever continue to blossom into is a gift to us all. And I hope to one day make you as proud of you as proud

as you make me. I give him a hug. I'm so, so grateful that I found you. And I can't wait to see what adventures we find together. Hopefully, without quite as much of a rap sheet on yours. Wow, yeah, it'd be good. But, you know, I'm turning many leaves And have been for some time

And a few amends to still make Maybe in time Maybe in time I'll be able to show my face proudly But for now, shh So you're not going to walk her down the aisle? I assumed your mother would be the one to have the honor Yeah, well, I know you have to keep secret Plus, Mama raised me, really, even though you're great and all.

That it's not untrue. But hey, maybe if I renew my vows, you can do it the second time, right? If you're going to be around more. It's going to be a third wedding? Oh, God. I look forward to that, whether it be to the same or some other lucky gentleman. But the next celebration, I'll work to be there. All right, I'll see you soon.

Very well. You give me my present. I'm on it, and he darts out into the hallway. His face kind of shimmering past, and you see the coloration of his skin kind of go instead to a readier pinkish color, and he kind of disappears down the stairs and out into the rest of the celebratory grounds. I can't believe he showed up. up. He could be in so much trouble.

I can't believe that both your parents are that hot. I know, right? How do you think I got so attractive? Honestly, I assumed it was a spell that just never dropped. Oh. Speaking of, we need to get you dressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you all got your outfits, right?

They picked them out especially for you guys. Yes. Yes, it's so comfortable. Yes, it's so simple and plain. Yeah. I love it, I do, I really do. You really thought of everything. Yeah, I did.

Hey, you guys, I haven't written my vows yet. That's a big deal. I know. Can you? I know. Caduceus has been quietly humming in the corner and you just hear that, mm-hmm, what, what?

What rhymes with Ford? Do they have to rhyme? I don't know. Ford. No, I can't say that. Sword. Sword? Sword? Boyd. I'll figure out something.

Fjord. Meanwhile, on the other side of the lighthouse, the groomsmen are finishing getting their. Preparations completed. God, these pants are so tight riding up my butt. You'll be fine. Just don't bend over or squat down or lean forward or really do anything. Just don't move or either will split it down your ass. Yeah, besides, it's really working for you.

He's right. Bo goes over and she pulls like a hot iron out of the fire and is kind of like pressing his coat a little bit. You never know. In the tension of that moment, you hear a faintly. scratching on wood from outside of the door. Divine sense. Which allows you to pick up...

Bay fiend or undead. You catch up a faint fay signature. Galis Fah! Star Racer comes out. Bo, take the hard corner. Well, just open it over, don't open over. Fire in my hand. I go over to the door. I go over to the door.

Who is it? An unexpected force slams into your chest as you get pushed back about four feet and a slobbering tongue begins to rake itself across your face as Nuggett the blink dog has pounced you onto the ground

and it's just... No! No! No! Nuggett! Your well-coffed hair is now torn to Kimbo. The wrong room! She's not in here. Get off of me! I don't think it's the wrong room. I think he meant for this. Hey, hey, buddy.

I got him as gritchie. Very glad to see you, too, Nugget. Don't we have, like, a treat something we could give him? Oh, yeah, pull out some pocket bacon. Take it, and just kind of, like, get his attention and then kind of throw it out of the room to get him a go. He just disappears from sight. Ah, shit.

I'm sure he's fine. How do I look? Pretty good. I kind of dab off some of the slobber, and then I come and I take his captain's coat and drape it over his shoulders, get him in the coat. It just hit. It just hit. It just hit. It just hit. This is good, right? This is a good thing. I mean, your gesture deserves the best, and I can, I can. If you weren't nervous, I would be concerned. That's fair. All right.

Jester does deserve the best. And you are the best for Jester. You're going to do just fine. Thank you. D.M., how far are we from the ceremony timeline? I was just about to tell you, as you're having this conversation, you're glancing past one of the glass windows that overlooks the cliff side on the kind of western edge out of town. The beautiful, clear blue sky with like wisps of white cloud

kind of trailing through, like ethereal ribbons, begin to turn ever so faintly towards the beginning of sunset. Within the next 30 minutes or so, everyone's going to be seated, and the ceremony will begin. Now, I know that you are not going to fuck up your vows, however, and I pull out a pearl and place it against his forehead. Don't fuck up your vows, and I cast Fortune's favor on board. Fair.

Oh, thank you for that. I wrote them down. Yeah, I'll see how it goes. Okay. The smell of the ocean breeze grows stronger as the rest of the day begins to meet the golden hour. The long benches that splinter out from the central archway begin to fill with guests and beyond. As clusters of standing folk from all

parts of your lives and lives beyond your lives have all begun to excitedly prepare for these nuptials. You glance out and you can see Rini has filled a plate with all manner of donuts and goes and sits next to Twiggy, who has dressed up in what looks to probably be a stolen somewhat larger than their size coat that they're kind of folding over their top and that both of them are kind of picking apart from the plate as they're giggling to each other, excited for the celebration to come. Both of you separately kind of glance out with your respective wedding parties and take in the sheer volume of people who've touched your lives

and whose lives you've touched? Jester really did invite all of Exandria, didn't she? Three campaigns worth. Yeah. Damn. It's around this time that Deferad bursts into your chamber, and goes, Hey, what about to begin shortly?

About 15 minutes. Are you ready? Okay, calm the fuck down, bro. It's a wedding. We're not fighting a dragon, all right. Are we ready? Are we ready? Are we ready? Are we ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're ready. You're ready. You're ready. We're ready. Ready. Are you?

Always. Where'd you find this one? I don't know. Just to hire him. This is, um, we are ready and waiting for your signal. Then, head downstairs and begin to greet those as they arrive. Wait. at the outskirts of the pathway. And when the music begins, your, um,

Caduce's friend will calmly and respectfully guide the ceremony. That sounds good. We can do that. We can do that. We'll be down very shortly. Very well. Darts off. He heads over towards the bride's side of the lighthouse. It is about that time. How are we looking? Are we on time? Have you seen Artie?

I haven't seen him today. I have not. But if you are indeed close, I assume he would be present. Okay. A lot... He already hasn't showed up. It's just... A lot of people have been arriving here

in even just the past half an hour. So may very well be amongst many of the others. I'm still trying to get everybody checked in, but I'm certain they will. Okay. If you're worried, do you want to send him a message? Yes, I will send him a message. I'm just writing my vows.

Oh, shoot, that's right, the vows. I just want to let Ford know how romantic he is and how sweet he is. Just speak from the heart. It'll be fine. I can send Artie a message. Oh, okay. Yeah. Go forward at Yasha. Artie, where are you? We are waiting here at the wedding of Jester, Jester Lovore, and Ford.

All right. You better get here soon. Okay, bye-bye. It's about this moment that a hand touches your shoulder, Jessica. And you turn back to see... It never worked. In beautiful light and dark green robes fitting. of an incredible, ancient, terrifying, and gorgeous archfay, his billowing mane of red curls,

his elongated ears and his brow that will not stop. Artagin takes you by the shoulder and spins you on, my dear, all you had to do was have a rask. She is an incredibly powerful psychic entity. I know. I'd be careful, honestly. I don't know what otherworldly beings you might contact with too much concentration. Dangerous territory, are you.

Wow. Okay. I just, I didn't, I didn't even. You showed up immediately. Even then, you're giving me a headache. Okay, sorry. This is Jester's Day? Not about me. We'll talk later because this... You can do great many things with this power. Oh, boy. He looks back at you in winks.

I would miss this at all. I just had to bring all the pamphlets. Oh, yeah. Well, wait a minute. Why are you in green? Why I'm always in green? No, but it's a pink wedding. It's not my wedding.

Artie. What? You're lucky that green goes with pink so well, okay? Of course it does. Look, you've got leaves and things. It's green. There's green in this. Of course I'm green.

I'm always green. I pick some of the pink flowers from around the room and I tuck it into his ropes. You have to have a little something. The flowers turn green. Oh, come. Look, you're going to stand out, and I'm going to stand out just a little.

What? You're not going to get all the attention on your wedding. Do you like my dress? He looks down and goes, It's very pretty. Thank you. No. He goes and, like, claps his hands together. And as he brings his fingers apart, you see these, like, golden thread, like sparkles.

And as he sets them down towards your direction, the dress begins to lift ever so faintly. Like a Disney princess or a sailor moon transformation, you begin to rise up into the air and watch as the bows extend. You watch as the embroidery begins to expand and glisten with a magical light. you feel empowered in this moment as Artagin enchance your dress to where it just kind of gently floats around you. Wow.

Wow, right there. Yes. That is the best wedding present you could have given. Oh, I also brought some bushes, and he points outside, and you watch as some of the exterior bush lines begin to expand and grow with all manner of strange fay flowers

that begin to blossom, And as they do, they begin to sing this endless chorus of beautiful harmonizing voices. Keelith just goes, no, no, no, no, no. What the fuck? What if I, did I do this? Shut, shut up, shut up. They sound so beautiful. And don't worry. I brought the requested help.

Thank you. And as he kind of waves his hand, as Keelis having her chaotic moment, you watch out of the ether nearby as people are beginning to settle in a veritable army of floating pink ethereal hamster unicorns with little collars on and little cuffs begin to dart around and rushing and picking up plates

and gathering various goodies and snares. and leading people by the arm to their seats. Suddenly, this is a bustling, magical event more than it ever was before. And they're talking, right? They were supposed to talk. You're listening close in the distance. You can hear some.

I mean, like, right this way, friend, please sit down. The one goes, by the way, that looks, by the way, that's amazing. Come, come, we're supposed to sit on the side. It's so happy. I told you, this is your special day. You know, they said all the gods were killed, but you're special. Please don't tell anyone that.

And he hands you one of the pamphlets he's passing around, and it's very similar to the ones that you've created in the past, but it does break down specifically in the pamphlet. It says, The traveler, worship him, a wondrous kind of power. Not a god. Just a really, really powerful guy who's a good guy who occasionally helps you with your troubles, but on a whim and only if it seems fun.

Good disclaimer. I like especially the part where you say, don't pray to me, but worship me. Look, it's important to put your boundaries up front, right? I'm learning about self-k. Regardless, I'm going to go ahead and find my place to say, I believe it's about that time. He goes and takes your hand for a second and squeezes his, it goes.

Show them why you will be the prettiest bride and any bride who attempts to rise up to seize your crown will cry and lament. And be crushed beneath my heel. Have fun, kids. Jester, you look amazing.

Look, this is so sparkling now. Oh, my gosh. I think you're ready. Do you have your vows? Yeah. You know what? I'm going to cast intellect fortress on you. Just in case you get nervous up there and stumble over a word or something,

you'll be steady in your delivery and... Like you were saying, just speak from the heart. You'll be fine. Okay. You, for some reason, love him. That's all you need to say. For some reason. Yeah.

I love you. Yeah, for some reason I love you. Okay. We might not understand it. It might not make any sense, but does love ever? I do. I don't know. I'm working, we're shopping. Okay, okay, okay. I'll get something like that. I'll make sure he goes first so you have a chance to top him no matter what, so.

Okay. Yeah, no, that way you know where the bar is. You just have to clear it. Oh, gosh, what if he's really good, though? Well, then you can just undermine him, you know. Okay. You do it anyway. Oh, thanks, Cadiz. You're my favorite.

Ford. Groomsman. As you are saying your final hello's to everyone, a hush begins to fall over the crowd. As the golden hour is nigh, and Caduceus begins to step from the lighthouse. If you don't mind, Caduceus. And if we could please have the podium to the stage.

Oh, my God. It's happening. It's happening. As everyone hushes, and music begins to gently swell. Caduce's steps slowly along the pink carpet to the archway. And it is there that everyone looks up to this. Beautiful cleric. And cue the flower girl.

You watch as a near teenager girl in black feathers. Yes. Her raven-like beak. Kiri begins to walk down with a basket, releasing clusters of white and pink rose petals along the walkway. Slowly leading the procession behind Caduceus before stepping off and sitting on the side. She is very sweet. From there, Bowen Caleb enters groomsmen. As they finish.

As they finish, stepping to the archway, Ford, the groom himself. He merges. to meet his fellows behind them, the companions to the bride, Veth, Yasha, Essek, and Kingsley, all step up to flink and leave space. Now, we respectfully ask you all to rise for the bride. I'll close it, but... Mm. Thank you.

Oh. Meal. Wow. Usually when I cast that, only one person rises. That's... Nailed it. Ha ha, yeah. I'm used to presiding over endings.

So to officiate a beginning is a unique privilege. Thank you both. When I met Jester and Ford, I thought I was on a holy mission to guide them and show them a path forward, and I quickly realized that that was the arrogant opinion of a sheltered young man, Ford. I had so little true wisdom to offer someone who was building by hand something that I had been given at birth. And while I had thought that you were searching for someone to be, the truth was you were for forging a path towards the best version of the man you already were.

Thank you, Captain, for allowing me to sail under your command. Jester. Your attitude towards life was a mystery to me. The ignorant would have called it childishness and did. But when the world would challenge you, really, really challenge you, and I saw it time and time again, you displayed a maturity and wisdom that burned in you like a star. I realized that what it was was romance

it was a sense of romance and not just not just the romance of another person but a romance with everything around you and when I try to look upon the world the way that I see you look upon the world I see poetry everywhere

and a delight that is always within reach. I love you both and in the time I've spent in your company I have never felt lost. When we're together I feel like a traveler. You're welcome Artie. You feel a hand grab your left knuckles and a voice in your ear goes, oh, I appreciate the idea. Ford, I believe you have prepared some words. Caduceus, you notice Deferad, the organizer is at the front looking at you, directly eyes, and it's going like, she kind of darts up real fast.

Goes to whisper in your ear. It's about that moment that a wave of nausea, echoes instantly through each and every one of you. Time seems to slow to a crawl and brought a beef moment as you all watch the sky rapidly go from a beautiful pink and orange to a terrifying, dark, purple, black nightmare scape. Everyone stands up to look towards you.

friends grasping what they can to run or to run towards you before they all vanish. You see Essek and Kingsley, off to the side, all of these hidden, invisible ruins, ancient, forgotten, jagged glyphs, alight around the entirety of this wedding space, across the pillars, from under the ground, all facing inward here to the central altar and archway. Tight enough space where suddenly, you see Kingsley and Essek vanish with the rest of them. And here, the rest of you stand

in this unfamiliar, terrifying, black space, this mirrored shard of where this wedding was to be. The grass now overgrown with vine and leaf, gnarled root creaking as it twists and grows unnaturally around you. The trees seem to sink the colors of the banners and the flowers muted to pale grays and white. I need all of you to sit back down and roll a Constitution saving throw for me. What?

It's fine. We're still having a wedding. You do. Oh, boy. Thank you. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. A constitution saving throw from everybody, please.

Fucking Mercer. Never invite Matt to a wedding. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Starting on this side. Oh, 13. 13, failure. 24. Failure.

Two one. Failure. Yasha. 25? Failure. What? Natural 20. Success.

Success. 26. Failure. 28. Success. What the fuck. As the rest of you feel your bodies locked into a terrifying arcane embrace, like the cold slither of a hundred serpents just coasting beneath your skin, your muscles are frozen.

and you cannot move. You can barely utter a muttered phrase. You are all considered paralyzed who failed. What? What? I don't like this. This demiplane echo, this in-between space, this mockery of your wedded environment

looks around you, devoid of life or friendship. And just in front of you, you see Deferad looking up at you all. I knew it. Oh, this bitch. I knew it. It has taken me years to wrestle with it all. She grins towards you, Jester. Watching you from a distance, waiting for the right time.

One shoulder swells. swells. Her eyes, never leaving yours, her grin tears wide into her mouth. You watch as her torso grows three, four times its size. This illusion of mist and silver swirls around her as her arms begin to extend and grow an extra joint. But Bo is just going to kind of slowly walk and kind of get between her and Jester. You watch as this dark hulking form that emerges from the shell of illusion that was Deferad.

Now it's hunched, black tattered robe and magical cord-wrapped body, the long, blackish, dark, oily hair hanging from the wrinkled, elongated head. the extended gnarled nose, as there before you. No! Carrying two large, odd-looking wicker bags on her back stands Ashah Nye the Prism Sage. Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh shit! Oh, shit! Oh, no. She walks forward towards you all. Little Chester, heart of chaos. Your spirit hides endless generosity. A depth of affection and fellowship.

You gave me the nun. One had, something that gave me one of unrecognized. But with time, I could feel this truth, you gave me fate, unravel. This truth, this magical deception. You scarred on my blackened soul. I peeled away. And even in my clarity, I clung to this lie like a fading dream. I earned for you.

you, the longer the dream had faded, the more it left this void. And the void filled with enmity with lived. Hey yeah, cool speech. Are you on the guest list? Well, listen, technically, technically you are. I invited you. Do you... Was that the mistake? Jester, this is why Caduceus said you need a guest list.

This is why... She, like, brings a finger like this. Beauregard, can you make a Christmas saving throw for me, please? Oh, my God. You got this, you got this, you got this, you got this, you got this, you got this. You gotta, got it, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got it. As a part, I would just want to say, it's where Diamond Solic can re-roll safe, so let's see how this is.

I'm gonna spin a key point to re-roll this. safe. All right. Okay, uh, uh, it's probably not gonna work, 22. Beauregard, as you step in front, you vanish from sight. Oh! The rest of you, for a brief second, watch as Beauregard's body just shimmers away and vanishes. Listen, listen, listen, listen, I'm really sorry. Are any of you trying to break free of this? paralysis?

Yes. Everybody is. All right. Now, what do you do to try and break free of this? I'll ask the first one here, the prominent member Ford. Your body does not move. What do you do to try and push through this enchantment? Get away from her, you bitch.

Can I cast hex if I'm paralyzed with intention or does it take a movement? Does it, so this is the hex spell? Yes. The hex spell does it say? Verbal semantic. Yeah, verbal semantic. You cannot cast this, yeah. I would try in misty step just in front of Jester.

as one of my feats. That is a verbal component. You can speak falteringly. So I'll say you, you do Misty step next to her. You barely utter the word and appear next to her. And Asharni's head

twists over in your direction. Just the amulet. The amulet. She looks up towards you. It says, no, you, you are mine. I have been waiting for your perfect moment, so I can strip everything that matters away from you piece by piece until all that's left is me.

And a large thumb kind of curls your... Cheek. I need you to make a charisma saving throw for me. Fuck. That's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. That was 14. Except you have advantage with intellect fortress. That is a 25. That is a 25.

25 is a success. Hey! Listen, I really did like you. I don't. I don't. No, why you got so mad at me? I've been sending you cupcakes every year. I...

I... I... Covet your friendship. You can have it. And I will. But I want it all. No, I'm marrying Ford. She pulls this chain from inside her robe,

this long, darkened metal glass, like chain ends in a glass amulet, like kind of this black, jagged-looking stone that semi-translucid towards its base. This chain is... This chain is almost five feet in length that sort of pulls out and goes, I understand.

But you've heard me. Heard me deeper than anyone has. I, I want to take from you which you took from me, which is the truth. the truth that someone actually cared. No. And as she puts the amulet outward with a flash,

she closes the distance, as her arm suddenly unfolds and unveils with an unseen speed, and the amulet touches your forehead. I need you, Jester, to make another Christmas apron throw. Oh, my God. I think it's ongoing. Still with advantage?

I think it's ongoing for an hour. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Her attempt to direct paralysis failed. That's not going to do it, 18. I need you to roll 1D8 for me if you don't mind Jester. Roll high. Four? Four.

That's four. As it touches your forehead, your eyes go wide and your mind wanders to. to the wastes of Jorhas, a broken woman with broken wings, blade dragged behind her, given hope, given love, given family. She's been with you as you fought to save the world. She's been with you since you nursed her from her trauma with the rest of your friends. You've been with her till she stood beside you in your wedding. And as your eyes come back, you look in that direction, and you do not recognize her face.

Your memories of Yasha have been taken from you. Oh. That's cool. Oh, shit. What? Who is that? Oh, I can't tell. You're paralyzed. What? Ford, how is that woman?

What do you mean? It's yours. I really got to unfreeze you. Wake up. I don't have a spell to help you. No, no, no. Ford falls back. On to the ground of... Listen, I don't know what you just did. But can you unfreeze my friends, please?

We need to finish our conversation. Then I'll send them back without an issue. I don't hate them. You hate me? You hate me? I love you and I hate you. What? Ishaun I?

It doesn't have to be like this. Make a persuasion rule for me. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Why is my persuasion so low? Is it always low for James? Yeah. Oh, man.

Natural 20! Okay, okay, okay. Good night, everybody. This Sharna kind of steps forward and looks at you, her bulbous face, her eyes going a bit soft as she steps in her whole body almost, not just towering over you, but almost encircling you like a parent would envelop a child

child, her hands kind of reaching down towards your shoulders, the amulets still kind of dangling from her hands, goes, I... I've just been so lost. Lost. And I don't like being made a fool. I understand. A second voice peeks out. from nowhere. That goes, Sage, you fool, what are you doing? We come all this way and you're just going to stop talking. And you see as one of the two wicker baskets that's affixed to her shoulders kind of shifts into place

and within it you see a figure bound in magical chains. A fay elf-looking. creature, feminine, old-weathered, her vibrant orange hair itself, framing a massive set of curving bull-like horns, armor of leather and leaves and numerous tattoos that emblazoned her flesh, her eyes burning red, and a metal clasp around her throat that glows with pulsing runes, a prisoner of some kind in one of these baskets that speaks out with familiarity. Do not let this creature manipulate you again. Another voice creeps up as cold air begins to breathe forth from it, the secondary wicker basket revealing a frail, wafish, pale, feminine figure,

your long white hair, colorless skin, sunken, white eyes, corpse-like, in a sleeveless kind of of death shroud dress that's pulled tight against the body, also bound in chains with the same sort of throat clasp. Two-packed companion to this hag as the other pipes in. All you've done is talk of her. And when the time comes, you cannot finish it. How sad. How disappointing is Sharnai? The Sharnah kind of, shut up!

Shut up! Who are they? Their old friend. Oh, they seem nice. Walk with me, dear. Okay. She puts her hand out, her weird double elbowed arm kind of reaching out, and her fingers curl around your arm as you both begin to walk away from the rest of your paralyzed. Are you my way, you're going to unfreeze them, though?

Walk with me, dear. Okay. Okay, I'm a little nervous now. How will you welcome me back into your life? How will you make room for me? Um, have you ever been on a boat? No. Listen, my husband to be, he's really dashing, super nice. He, um, he's an admiral, technically.

He has a lot of ships, and we are always looking for people to join us on our, you know, crazy times. I think you and your little basket friends would be great additions. Clutching your hand, she kind of stops the walk about 30 feet from the rest of your friends and says, Do you love him? I'm afraid they're going to do something bad if I say I do. Do you love him? Um... She looks back at him, on the ground, frozen still.

I do. Do you? How much? Not as much as you. I tell you that much. Make another persuasion check. Or deception, I mean. Oh no!

No! Oh! Oh, no! She looks at you a smile that curls and tears across her long face. long face, the teeth overlapping and protruding in different angles, the scent of rotting vegetation emanating from her breath as she curls in. Again, you... And she jams the amulet to your forehead once more. Make another Christmas saving throw for me. You got this, you got this. Just another not 20.

You have advantage. Mathematical statistics are in your favor. Those are double-19s. So that puts me at 28. 28. That's a success. You feel the enchantment, try and push into your mind, but the bonds of familial love and friendship that you carry rebukes this magical probe.

Oh, wait, I didn't my math wrong. Why, why, what? 19 plus 8 is 27. That's still... Oh, thank God. Oh, okay. As she withdraws to aiming at... No, there will be room for only me.

As this rebuke happens with a flicker, and all of you feel this hold on you seem to almost lose strength for a moment. And you feel this force, this push and pull of memory, this push and pull of dynamic relationship, that flicker, you feel like the flood of fractures of memories through your times together kind of sparks in your mind and then fades for a moment. This enchantment that holds you at bay is a strange, old Faye enchantment, prepped as it was and seems to have odd ways to challenge it.

Would any of you like to attempt something? What would you like to do, Kayla? Earlier I had the same idea. I will teleport is verbal only. I will mutter, if I can, the words to blink out of this reality and in in a different location. And to just wink out so that I'm out of that power and then back in, and hopefully that will

free me of the hold. I'll allow it. I will ask you to roll a D-100 because you are attempting this in technically an unfamiliar place but you have seen it and you are doing it under the duress

of limited verbosity. 53. Chetney just died. All right. 53. You vanish from the space, the enchantment dropping from around you. And suddenly you stand in the middle of some strange fay forest with a clearing that ends at a cliffside

and some sort of strange, churning purple ocean below. the purple ocean below. You have no idea where you are. Looking out at the vista under my breath, I just say, which is Coven, just like the books. The rest of you, would you like to attempt anything?

Am I still missed? You, now come to you. You have been floating somewhere In an endless sky, there are distant, slow-spinning rocks or islands of material, and you have been just falling endlessly into a slightly darkened blue expanse. Oh, fuck. Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... rest of you. I can't. Wait, wait, wait. With my cloak, I can dimension door. You can dimension door within 500 feet that you can see. Come back to me.

All right. I don't know what to do. You want to go? Sure. Just trying to shape. We're still sort of semi-paralyzed? Yeah. Your bodies cannot move.

You can falteringly speak. I'm going to attempt, I don't know if it's going to work, I'm going to attempt to shake myself out of this. I heard the name Asharnai. This is the hag who condemned me to goblinhood for several years. Overcome with fury at her for robbing me of those years, I'm going to try to shake myself out of this paralysis by giving myself shocking grasp. Here's what happens. As you begin to delve into the emotional memory of what this entity has done to you, that fury, that vengeful rage that you had long put aside and locked in a box far within has been unlatched.

And that fire within begins to burn and grow. And as it does, you feel it. push against these ancient binds, that emotional memory itself challenging this old fay magic. You can make your saving throw once more, your Constitution saving throw. However, you can choose to either sacrifice a spell slot and gain plus one per level of the spell sacrificed, or you can sacrifice hit points at a plus one per 15 hit points taken. How much do you love Jester? So much.

I'll sacrifice 45 hit points. Oh my gosh. I'll sacrifice 45 hit points. Let's see what that does. Okay. That's a plus three. Oh yeah. 31. With that, the slow, red-pulsing runes and sigils that sit beneath and around you on this arched altar, shatter with a resounding sound of breaking glass. And Veth, you get your body back.

Come on, old girl, let's go do some damage. The rest of you? You see Yasha's eyes start to glimmer and I'm going to try to push out my wings.

You concentrate and reach into that divine bloodline, that touch of the gods that has carried you through your trauma that has brought you to strength, to victory, to love, and those wings shoot out.

You see images of Zawala, your love once lost. See images of your current love, currently lost. He's losing everything. Got to put an apple tag on that. What does this make you feel? Deep sadness and loss and regret. As your wings slowly unfurl, you can make another Constitution saving throw. You can decide to get any bonuses you'd like at a plus one per 15 hit points taken.

What was the other one? Plus one for 15 hit points or... Or sacrifice a spell slot at a plus one. one per level of the spell slot sacrificed. Oh, my gosh. You can do both, technically, if you're feeling lucky. All right, so I will do, it's one plus one per 15. Okay, so I will do, I'll do 60.

All right, take that plus four bonus. Oh, gosh. Oh, no, which one do I roll? Okay, I'm gonna go with this one. All right. Okay, how many, four? Four. Okay, that is 26.

That's a success. You feel that heartbreak and you scream out a A fury and a profound sense of regret that you haven't let to take over in some time as you do. Your wings fully feathered, extend, and your body is yours once more. Okay. The Sharnay glances back at the wrist and says, Your friends are frustrating. At which point, one of the witch-like entities in her back says,

Well, of course they are. She keeps friends, you know, treating them well. As the shorni goes, shut your teeth, erythonia. That sounds proud. And you see she snaps her finger and suddenly there is a glowing squiggle of magical arcana that is currently holding her mouth shut. A squidgel? A squiddle, if you will. It's pronounced squiggle.

What would you like to do, Jester? Oh gosh. try. She's still right next to me. Oh, yeah. Could I grab, okay, her amulet. Is it in her hand or is it hanging from her wrist? It's on a long chain that is around her neck. Oh. And it's like just she's pulled a large part of the chain out from under her robes and she's clutching it in her hand.

Okay. That's different. Um, I'm going going to look her in the eyes and say, okay, so I don't love you more than Ford, but that's because I want to marry him and be with him forever. But you, I could totally see being one of my very good friends. You know, if you had ever responded to one of my messages, you could have been in the bridal party at least.

And I'm going to Well, say sorry, and as I say sorry, I'm going to cast divine word. Now, I don't know where we are exactly. Are we? Where are we? I should have asked that. Well... Are we in her plane? You are in a plane that is a dark mirror image of the wedding ceremony space. Okay.

It feels crafted. Sort of in between. Okay. All right. So as you cast that, she's going to make a charisma saving throw. That's going to be a 14 plus. 23. Now here's the thing.

Yeah? Yes. Wait. Hold on. La la la la la la. This is, regardless of lull-l-l-l-l-l. You succeeded. So, describe to me how you cast this spell and it fails.

It's just verbal, so I'm going to boop her on the nose and say, sorry. And that's all that she'll think I did. You boop her, and there's a... Her eyes catch your finger. your finger, and for a second, as invisible as you thought your casting was, you see the shapes of your casting still kind of a drift in the air before they fade. In a flash, the amulet strikes your forehead again. Make another charisma saving throw for me. Listen.

Beauregard? Yep. You appear back on the ground. Your banishment now has faded. Oh, I just did so much research for no reason. Great. I'll save that astral projection for another time, I guess. All right, cool. Sorry.

That's 20. I'd like to roll a D8 for me, please. Oh, no. Roll low. Well, you might be number one. Oh, no. Eight. Oh, no.

Growing up in the chateau, you couldn't help but be spellbound by her beauty, her confidence. You monster. Her grace and the love that she gave you. Your monster. Her red skin and hair, the talk of Exandria, her strength and endurance in raising you and showing you all the wonders and colors of the world, so you could step where she could not. But her face is hard to grasp.

What were you thinking about? You can't remember. I can give them back. Give who back? What are you doing? What does that thing you do? I'm just making space for your forever friend. You? You are my forever. Am I going to be in the basket? Am I going to be a basket friend?

Mr. Don't listen. I'm not paralyzed, right? No. Yeah, fuck this shit. I'm running up. Pop, pop. Fuck these. Fucking falling in the fucking plane of air or some shit for 20 minutes. Let's go. They've been falling for 30 minutes. All right, let's go.

Let's go. Two pops, two pops. Oh, okay. Big research, big research. Big research. Okay, well, the first one will be a 20. That misses. Then the other one also misses.

Shit. Um, bonus action, I'm gonna do it again. Yeah. Gloria blows. Let's go. Up, pop. Uh, okay, okay. Uh, let's start with the eight, so 21 probably also misses. That misses.

How about, wait, did I do that right? And three, nine, 20, eight, two, yeah, 21. And then the next one will definitely be, 31. Whoa! That hits. Okay, let's just start.

That was my unarmed strike, so... Okay, that is going to be 11 hit points, stunning strike. All right. No effect. Bitch is immune, bitch is immune. Okay, last thing, since I hit her with my Floria blows, extract aspects. As you expand your spiritual energy into her form and that impact, you read facets of this ancient soul. You do acknowledge it is, she is, resistant to cold, fire and psychic damage.

She also is immune to being blinded, charmed, frightened, and paralyzed and stunned, though there's an odd flicker to that resilience. Hmm. Okay. I turn around to my party and go, guys, she's got resistance to coal fire inside. And she's in me, yeah, they're all still really fucked.

Everybody's messed up. Everyone's really messed up. Who is that lady over there? Yasha? Is Sharnay at this point? Taking the impact, spins, and looks at you Beauregard, looks at the rest of you, pushing and resisting against this ancient enchantment, and brings her hands together.

Fine. I could just erase their memories, but I could also erase their very life. their very lives. You did this to me, Chester. She is so obsessed. Yeah. Gross. I want to make a run for her.

I'm going to cast Divine Intervention. You go charging in. What are you asking for, Caduceus? We need to be free, and we need to be able to run, please. Here in this shadow realm, where everything is given a twisted, warped visual memory of the space of great joy you just left, there is this blackened, towering shape. This shadow nightmare of the lighthouse above itself curved and in an instant color spills around it. And for a moment here in this in-between plain, you see unveiled the true

lighthouse of the Wild Mother. And as it glows across the way, Asharnite kind of seems to duck out from the moment while the rest of you feel the binds of this ancient enchantment shatter. And your bodies are yours once more. As Yasha's charging in and the rest of you gather yourselves, Caleb, somewhere in some other section of these woods, we're going to go to break. Oh, man. You monster. This is the worst wedding ever.

We're a good wedding. We'll see you all here in a few minutes. Oh, my God. That concludes part one of this podcast episode. Part two will land here this upcoming Tuesday at 5 a.m. Pacific and we'll pick up this story right where we left off. Thanks again for listening and we'll be back on this adventure in no time.