Critical Role - Dignity: An Adventure with Stephen Colbert to by Critical Role to Benefit Red Nose Day

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Help us at Critical Role Foundation and our friends at Red Nose Day to provide much needed assistance to children living below the poverty line. Donate and learn more: http://critrole.com/rednoseday Game Master Matthew Mercer guides an adventure shaped by your donations to CRF’s Red Nose Day fundraiser! Players Ashley Johnson, Marisha Ray, and Sam Riegel reprise Level 5 versions of their Mighty Nein characters (Yasha, Beau, and Nott respectively), alongside the one and only Stephen Colbert! MEET THE CASTSpecial Guest Stephen Colbert: https://twitter.com/StephenAtHomeGame Master Matthew Mercer: https://twitter.com/matthewmercerAshley Johnson: https://twitter.com/TheVulcanSaluteMarisha Ray: https://twitter.com/Marisha_RaySam Riegel: https://twitter.com/samriegel Character art by Kasia Brzezinska: https://twitter.com/avatarkasia Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources Twitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and 4-Sided Dive. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on Spotify, iTunes & Google Play following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges and the ability to post links in Twitch chat!

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Hello, Critters. This is Ashley Johnson,

president of the Critical Role Foundation, our 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission that might sound familiar. To leave the world better than we found it. We partner with other nonprofits to raise funds supporting causes that mean a lot to us. And we allocate 10% of all donations to an emergency relief fund that allows us to provide immediate assistance in the case of natural disasters or other unexpected emergencies that require quick action. To learn more about the Critical Role Foundation and to donate, visit criticalrolefoundation.org. And now, let's scry into the story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we?

For I am Lucky Jack! Keep your voice down! What are you doing? But you've got a camp. How could they not see that you're here? Well, that's a very good point. You have a fire going. So turn one, turn one, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. Oh! Oh!

What? This is amazing. What is happening? I actually really love that vest. Thank you. Like, I would legit wear that. I feel like I stole this outfit from, like, 1985 Billy Idol. There is nothing wrong with that. What I like is my character's name is Lucky Jack

and he's got this on his face. Oh yeah. What is unlucky? What was the unlucky option here? I guess we'll find out today. They put that on so fast. Can I leave this up here? Yes, yes.

We were not told that there was a costume option. Amy, would you get the other box? The other box? The other box? What did you do? The wooden box? The wooden box, thanks very much. This is a level of commitment.

I fight two-handed, right? Yeah, yeah. I got two swords. I brought two swords. One of them was a hand axe, but I didn't have a hand axe at home. That's okay. But I did have two swords at home.

I take this stuff seriously. I can tell. Good God, you're a method actor? I'm deeply into my character. He just sounds like me. Here we go. That's a healing potion. Oh, wow.

Wait, what is this gorgeous box? Are those pleather pants? You're wearing leather pants, too? You aren't? Not today. Oh, so you have both Narsil and Sting on the table. Oh, no way! It's Sting!

Yeah, that's not any Sting. Is that the Sting? That's one of four hero swords that were used in Lord of the Rings. No way. That's one of the Stings. Oh, no way. I got goosebumps right now. I do, too.

I do, too. And every time I hold it, I go, holy cow. Of course. I know, I kind of wanted to do it the other day. You'll notice that the handle's a little chipped and there is some blunts along the blade because I caught my sons many times playing with this and that.

I mean. Put it down right now. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you do. Sure. My goodness. Oh my god, that's now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you do. Sure. My goodness. Oh my god, that's heavy. Ooh!

Isn't that awesome? Oh my god. Please don't really brain us with that. It's really beautiful craftsmanship, too. Yeah, that's gorgeous. Yeah. Way to go, guys. Don't mess around. Nice. Awesome!

I never bring them out. Now's the time. What opportunity would you have? What scenario would anyone care other than you people? Well, you it-getters, I'm glad you brought them. Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited about this.

Thank you for coming back. Thanks for coming and bringing it. I know, yeah. Bringing all of this. Sam, Ashley, Marisha? Yes. Excellent. Nice. Matt, hell yeah. Let's do it. Good to see you, buddy.

All righty. Well, let's go ahead and get things going here for a second. First off, thank you all so much for joining us, and thank you for coming back for a wonderful celebration of Red Nose Day, an amazing charitable organization that helps combat childhood poverty world round. They do incredible work,

and we've already done incredible work now for a second time raising a lot of money for this, and which, while you're watching this, you can still donate to Red Nose Day and continue to make this an amazing endeavor. So as part of that, me and Steven got together online and made your own custom character for this. Go ahead and tell us a little bit about your character here,

about what's he look like, what's he got? His name is Lucky Jack, scar not withstanding. Fair enough. He is a, he's, you know, he's Joe Fighter. He's human. Background, he was an acolyte to Ariok, Duke of Chaos. Ooh. Anybody?

Okay, used to hang out with Coram. Big fan, big fan. Used to hang out with Coram. He's got a 16 armor class. He's moderately strong with a 16. He's fairly healthy. He's got, you know, okay dexterity at 15. He fights with a long sword and a hand axe.

He's ambidextrous. Well, my goodness. And he's lucky. He's got the ability for second wind, action surge, and luck. And I'm sure other things that hopefully our dungeon master will remind me of as we go along. Because we did this a few weeks ago. And basically, he's pretty basic. He's a fighter.

Yeah, but that's a good build. He's a level five fighter. Nothing too extreme. Nothing too talented. Wind-swept hair, I'm assuming? Sure. Sure. The ability to smolder. Wait, did you say the Duke of Chaos?

Or am I just making that up? Ariok, Duke of Chaos, yes. That's his title. No, that's who he's an acolyte to. He's an acolyte to Ariok, Duke of Chaos. On whom the Mab didn't crawl like lice. Come on. We don't have to tell you people about Michael Moorcock, right?

We don't have to get into the Eternal Champion. No. All right. Well, just as a reference point, if you want to hand that over, here is your miniature to keep of... Oh, is this Lucky Jack? What?

Oh my god! This is for you, this is Lucky Jack. Awesome. The keepsake for this. He's gonna go, I don't. But we'll get him. That is beautiful. Hang out there right there, buddy.

All righty. Look at him. Oh, look at his glasses. I know, I love it. Do you take notes? I do, I am a voracious note taker. And how does that help? You have to understand, I play Dungeons & Dragons notes? I do. I am a voracious note-taker. And how does that help?

You have to understand, I played Dungeons & Dragons with you three years ago? Two years ago? Before COVID. And before that, about 1983. But solidly from 77 to 83. Obsessively. So no one took notes.

And back then, AD&D was as good as you could get. Yeah, yeah. And how long ago, did people still play AD&D at all? People still do, yeah. To this day, they play every edition up to the current fifth edition, yeah.

Okay. Wait, was that first edition? No. The first edition was Dungeons & Dragons. It was just Dungeons & Dragons and it was like a pamphlet. And then that be called Beginners,

because then these three books came out called Men in Magic, Gods, Demigods, and Heroes. Yep. And then there was one other, I can't remember what the other three books were. And we only bought one copy of each. And then Roy Slotraver's dad

had a Xerox machine at his office. Yes, right. Don't tell Gary Gygax, butver's dad had a Xerox machine at his office. Don't tell Gary Gygax, but we would do the Xerox everything off of him. Yeah, restaffled it. Hey, that's the way to do it, man. We did that with my friends, but it was a well-known cookbook instead. Oh, well. On that note. Let's not get demonetized. No.

Let's go ahead and jump into, let's start here on your end. On the Exandrian continent of Wildemount, tensions rise between warring factions. Empire's posture and rumors of coming war cast a dark cloud over the central region, bisected by the Ashkeeper Peaks. You, Jack, had grown a strong and pious man,

a warrior alcoholite within the Temple of Arioch. You'd studied the intersection between drive and virtue and worked to display and teach your philosophies to those who needed guidance and protection as you saw fit within your philosophical endeavors in the city of Bladegarden. This life, quiet sometimes, tense at others, but kept you busy and content.

But conflict and tragedy was still looming beyond your doorstep. In the dark, rain-soaked night, mysterious figures swathed in shadowed leather stole into your temple, carving a trail of violence. As the cries of your compatriots shattered the evening stillness, you rushed to the temple atrium

to find your mentor, Lelia, already left slain, and the holy jeweled relic known as the Spirit of Virtue, or colloquially as Dignity, taken. You lost your dignity. You rushed out as the temple caught flame and caught up to the cackling leader of this murderous brigand group under the storm. The fiendish woman stood before you,

emerald of skin with long jet black hair, her gnarled curling horns and viper-like eyes. Looked towards you with a gleeful grin as she chuckled, otherworldly power brimming from her that made your skin and blood run cold. What delightful arrogance brings this pup before me? Delusions of vengeance, perhaps. I do love the bravery and ignorance of the faithful. Come then, show Madrak how loud you can scream.

With fury in your eyes, you rushed into the duel, only to be briskly cut down, your leg tendons cut, your symbol of Ariok broken, and left for dead. As darkness took you, you recall her maniacal laughter as she and her cutthroats left with both dignity and your dignity. Your will endured, and once recovered from your wounds, you began a path towards recovering

both that were lost and perhaps a taste of vengeance on your lips. Many others claimed the attack was carried out by the Kryn dynasty. The foreign faction mired in growing conflict, but you know what you saw. And those murderers were not of the Kryn. They moved and killed with infernal blessing.

And spending many months training and researching where this Madrak might be, you manage to uncover rumors of her band taking up residence within a tower deep into the blasted badlands of Xhorhas, a broken wasteland of rock and scars from the ancient cataclysm known as the Calamity. Is there anything you wish to prepare

before you left for this journey? Any particular odd objects, or are you feeling confident with what you have? Cool. Look at you taking notes. What? I know! I have no idea what I'm going to do with these.

That's the point. I'm writing down every word I don't recognize and trying to understand whether I might need to remember them later. You definitely won't. That's why I was asking you. All right, well, good, because I was never very good at school.

Perfect. I did this instead. You set out with a compatriot that you made through your training who also helped you in your recovery, a brave bee named Eric II, warrior of his father's name and a valiant seeker of justice.

This tiny bee with his own little set of armor, as well as a holy relic of your order. Oddly, this relic, which you have to you there, it's called the Battle Axe of the Gentle Path. It is the little card to your right. It is a powerful magical weapon. It is also alive and has some opinions on its use for violence.

So while it does some good damage, it doesn't really want to hurt things. And when you roll to attack with it, if you choose to do so, you roll twice and take the lower number. But if you hit, it can do some serious damage. Okay. It also talks, by the way, if you ever want to consult it.

Got it. I can't wait to hear Gilbert. Do I know where I got it? It was a relic of your temple. Relic of the temple. You pulled it from the wreckage and went, this will help me in my journey. And it was like, please, I don't want to hurt anyone.

Don't take me with you. We're fine. You can leave me here. Maybe give me a way to like some nice kids to play with. It'll be great. I can't, I say a weapon that doesn't actually want to be used sometimes is one of the most chaotic things I can imagine. That's in the temple.

Beautiful. Okay. Beautiful. You took to this dangerous region of Xhorhas for weeks, narrowly avoiding the wild moorbounders and fiendish beasts that stalk the valley, until finally you walked upon the long, abandoned, jagged, rust-colored Tower of Desolace as clouds gather.

In a small camp that sits outside its entrance, a tiny fire freeing a wispy cloud of ominous smoke. What do you do? Is there anyone in the camp? You see a few figures in the distance. They don't notice you. Am I alone? It's you and your bee, and your battle axe. Can I send the bee to do reconnaissance? You can, indeed.

Send the bee into the camp. Send Eric into the camp. Eric wanders off and returns. Says there's a few rough-looking figures and a goblin. And we're by a tower. You're looking now, a flight from the nearby bush, at the dark tower of Desolace. But there's a camp around.

There's a camp right at the base of it. They don't notice you, though, it seems. Can I go around them to get into the tower? They are near the entrance, unfortunately. I go into the camp. Okay, carefully, or do you stroll right in? No, carefully. I creep up to the edge of the camp and to listen. Perfect, so go ahead and roll a stealth check.

Roll a d20 and add your stealth skill on your character sheet. First roll! First roll! This is everything. Let's go! Here we go! This is the world! Do not mess this up. Stealth plus two.

Great. 17. Plus two? Wait, is that a? 19. 19. 17. Plus two, wait, is that a? 19. 19. 19, okay. You feel pretty confident that you're not being noticed, and as you creep up from the nearby bush,

you can see one figure stands there clutching a large sword. You can't make out too many details, but it looks like a dangerous weapon, an implement of war. The figure closest to you that you don't notice is this hooded goblin creature. You see long ears poking from behind a dark hood. What do you do?

I don't necessarily know that these people are foes, is the issue. Can I throw something across the camp to see how they react to a sound? Sure. Okay. So I find a pebble or something like that or a small stone,

and I... Can I whip it at the back of... Who's farthest away? Farthest away would be, you see, a small, muscular female figure with short, dark hair, wraps on her hands, who's in the process of warming her hands in the fire. Whip it at her and see. Just whip it. I'm not looking to do damage. I'm looking just to get her attention. Okay.

Which, what do I? Roll a d20 and just add your strength modifier. Strength modifier's plus six. Great, go for it. 21. Dude. A pebble hits you right between the eyes. Ow! What happened?

Ow! Are you okay? What happened? You messing with me? That was you, wasn't it? That wasn't me this time, I swear! What are you throwing things at her for? I didn't do anything! If I wanted to play a prank, you would know I would play a prank. This was not me.

Hang on, shut up, shut up for a minute. Do I hear anything? What's your passive perception? 13. No, you do not. A rock didn't fall in the sky. Well, how do you know? Yeah, I know, that doesn't make any sense.

Fair point, fair point. She's saying we're being watched. I draw my crossbow and start scanning the perimeter for any danger. I pull out my sword. Make a perception check. Okay. Whoa, it's terrible.

Five. I think we're safe. You watch as the goblin whips around and maybe a few feet from you and is aiming well over your head. You are completely unseen. Totally clear over here! Without revealing my location,

without standing up, let's say, is it my turn? It is. And while standing up, I say, hello. The forest speaks. Ghosts. Who is there? A Traveler.

Who do you serve? Oh, that's a good question. I feel like we've just only served ourselves. Yeah, I'll handle this. All right. We serve no man. Do you serve a woman with horns? Sounds very specific.

No, no, say no, say no. Is he talking about Jester? We know a woman with horns, but she's really cute. She eats a lot of pastries, but no, we serve no one. We are harmless. Lower your weapons. We have you surrounded. We?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I think we better, I think we better listen. Why? Because it's a clear, it's an invisible, I have such good perception, I didn't see anything. They're invisible. My sword is lowered. My staff is raised.

I will lower my crossbow. And is he closest to me? All right, I stand up and reveal myself, and say, hold, hold. Hold. I have no problem with any of you. I am looking for what I perceive to be a witch or a sorceress named Madrak. Do you know who this is?

Do we know who this is? You do. This is actually a figure that you yourselves have been chasing for some time after hearing about some terrible encounters that people nearby and in the local outskirts of the Empire have been dealt terrible tragedies because of. This is so wild.

Because we actually have also been looking for this madrak. You got it. Yeah. You may be surprised that we are looking for the same people, but I am not, for I am Lucky Jack! Keep your voice down! What are you doing?

Is there someone around here we should be worried about? But there's a tower right there! But you've got a camp. How could they not see that you're here in the camp? Also fair point. Well, that's a very good point. So, you have a fire going. Yep.

In the loud bursts of self-proclaimed title shouting here at the base of the tower, you hear the grinding of stone as two perched gargoyle-like creatures that you perceived previously to be just part of the entryway of the twisted metal gate that leads into this tower begin to shift. Oh, we've got it now.

And you watch as they both leap down. You see they're both clutching a spear in one hand and they have these gnarled claws in the other before they rush towards you. Everyone, please roll initiative. Oh! D20, plus initiative.

They rolled a natural one on that. That's bad. Hold on. The worst. Ooh! Where's my? Initiative would be top center-ish. Top center, okay, there you go. Oh no! Three!

You still beat them! Wow, they rolled a- I got two. Oh! Okay. You are lucky. Okay, Beau? I rolled an 18. Okay. Okay, Beau? I rolled an 18. Okay.

I, 21. Ooh, dang. Dang, all right, Yasha, you're up first. Big surprise. Which, if you want to go ahead and do a quick description of what Lucky Jack sees as you rush into battle. What you see is an extremely tall, quietly intimidating, Aasimar barbarian.

Black roots, white hair coming down at the bottom, very pale skin, one blue eye, one purple eye. Scars everywhere. Very, very tough and scary. Okay.

So I am going to... Here's what I'm going to do. I am going to... Here's what I'm going to do. I am going to bamf out my skeletal wings and show my necrotic shroud so that the gargoyles will be frightened. Okay. I'm a failure of friends. I'm not going to watch you or turn you.

Deal extra necrotic damage. Okay. Got it. So they both are very much caught off guard by this display of dark, angelic bloodline that you carry within you. And both of these stone creatures, as they come forward, begin to hold a line. They went from full aggression to uncertain.

That is your action, I believe, right? That is my action, because that is a full... Yeah. That's an action. All right. So you held the line, but you have your two-handed sword. I have my magician's judge ready to go. All righty, fantastic.

Finishing your go, Beau, you're up with Jack. You're on deck, so. So you see a very buff woman, short, dark hair, kind of tied up in a bow with an undercut, striking blue eyes. She's got wraps wrapped around her and is wielding a bow staff

with long, draping, kind of teal and dark blue robes over top of it. Definitely write down the word teal. Teal. That's the important takeaway And undercut She looks good She looks like a badass And I just turn to you and I say

Time to show us what you're worth Jack And I bolt in And I'm gonna go to the gargoyle on the right You got it Give my bo staff a twirl Coming at it with a big swinging blow and I'm gonna go to the gargoyle on the right. You got it. Give my bo staff a twirl. Coming at it with a big swinging blow.

Go for it. First attack, 18. 18 hits. Ooh, yeah, that's good. 11 damage. 11 points of damage. Crack with a heavy resounding impact. He watches the stone, cracks a bit,

and its shoulder almost seems to drop. It's still holding onto the spear, but you can see it's taking a heavy hit. St impact. He watches the stone, cracks a bit, and its shoulder almost seems to drop. It's still holding onto the spear, but you can see it's taking a heavy hit. Stunning strike. All right. That is a 15. Saves. Okay.

And I'm going to go ahead and take my bonus action to do my flurry of blows. You do get two attacks, too, as your main action. That's right, but bonus, oh right. Yeah, two strikes. And that is good. 15. 15 still hits. Yay! They're big creatures and they're not too quick.

Nine damage. Nine damage, all righty. And a pop pop. Oh, those are terrible. That was horrible. 13 for the first one. 13 just barely hits. What?

And then the other one was a natural one. Yeah, misses entirely. Okay, yeah, not too shabby. Nine damage. Nine damage, okay. So that one crumbles under the multitude of rapid impact blows that you land upon it.

You watch as it begins to break. It takes its spear back, about to stab you, and your final impact hits it on the side of the head, and you watch as the head cracks open, sending bits of shale and pebbles across the ground. It folds on itself and collapses, whatever sort of magical incantation that held it together now dispersed.

So there's only one standing. I'm just going to throw my bangs out of my face and just look over at Jack. All right, well, I can't let that stand. Okay, okay, it's your turn. So not only am I gonna do my two-weapon fighting, but I'm also gonna use my action surge so I get four attacks, right?

Oh my god. Yes, you do. Whoa. Well, can I elect halfway through whether I need the action surge? You can, and hold on to that, because you only get one action surge this entire adventure. Well, can I elect halfway through whether I need the action surge? You can, and hold on to that, because you only get one action surge this entire adventure.

That's what I mean. That's why I'm gonna... You can do your two attacks and then decide then if you want to. Because I feel fairly guilty here because I'm the one who got the attention of the gargoyles. But I assume that there wasn't anything immediately at hand,

because again, you pitched a camp right in front of the tower. It was a quiet camp. I saw it. It doesn't make any sense. This world doesn't make a lot of sense. So the gargoyles respond to sound, not sight, is what I'm figuring out.

It seems that's the case. So first, I'm going with my long sword first. Long sword first. You got it. So that's... This is Alan Grant. What do I, how do I adjust based on strength? Is it a plus three?

It should be next to the plus three. In the middle of your sheet, it says long sword. There should be a plus seven or something. A plus seven. There you go, baby. There you go. Oh, damn. Lucky Jack.

Nine. A total of nine. Two. It's like... Just warming up. Yeah. Just warming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just warming up. All that is.

There you go. The first strike just, it impacts, but it glances off. The creature hasn't even paid attention to you yet. It's still focused on her wings. Okay. A little embarrassing. And then a hand axe. Hand axe.

Go for it. 20. Natural 20? 27. Natural 20. That's a critical hit, so you get to double the dice on that. Okay, so it's eight, right? For the handaxe, it's a D6.

D6. Four plus, is there anything? Plus the other dice? No, no, that's together. It's two and two. Four plus whatever the damage bonus is on the handaxe, which should be three, I think. Six.

No, no, that's no, it's three. Got it. So six, then, because one be three, I think. Six. No, no, that's no, it's three. Got it, all right. So six then, because one for every die, right? Yeah, so you go ahead and hit with the handaxe. You strike with the longsword, it goes wide. The handaxe cracks in with a heavy, resounding thunk at the base of the creature's head, and now you have its attention.

It turns towards you, and there's vacant gaps where the eyes would be, and you do pick up from this point that their statue elements are based more on sound than not. Now that you've hit them, they turn over, attention to your direction, the mouth cracks open. You still have one more attack with your longsword, if you'd like to, because you attack twice with one hand, and then you do your two-handed whiting with your arm.

Dang, fighters are so cool. Fighters are good. Dope. Five plus seven is 12. 12 actually is their armor class, so that does barely hit. Wow, okay. And one die, eight. One die, eight. Four, is that four?

No, that's seven. Seven plus four. Seven plus four, all right, that's 13 under that. That, it's looking real hurt. That second sword blow cracks into it, and you watch as it lurches and cracks her, appearing across its body. It takes its spear back,

and it's about to go for your belly. Is that the end of your turn? That's the end of my turn. Okay, that brings us to you. They rolled a one on their initiative, so. Gotcha. What you see before you is a small female goblin form, green skin, big yellow eyes, jagged teeth, clad in gray rags, looks very jittery,

also clutches, in addition to the crossbow, a flask of booze, which you see her take a big swig of to kind of psych herself up for the battle. And she charges into the fray, taking a lead from you, saying, by the way, my name is Not the Brave! And I will charge into battle, and I'm going to pounce on the face of this creature

and deliver a shocking grasp to it, injecting some electric energy into it. Go for it. It's a good roll for the attack on that. Natural 20. Oh, yay! The table's hot! Apparently.

We got two crits in the opening battle. Okay, seven doubled, so 14 electric lightning damage. 14, how do you want to do this? Oh my goodness! I pounced on its face, sort of covering it with my whole tiny goblin body, and right before I deliver the electric charge, I glance over to Lucky Jack with a cocky grin, saying,

This is how we do it! And I'll just release the energy exploding its head, if possible. Yeah, as you're pulling on the two empty eye sockets backwards, the crack down the center of its face, it starts to scream, and as you pull away, what would normally be just the dark shadow interior of this statue-like creature

is filled with this bright blue sparkling energy. As you pull it apart, it's a blast of energy that immediately goes dark as it crumples into a pile of shale. I take a big swig of booze. And that's why they call me Lucky Jack. Well, quite impressive. Yes.

Pretty handy. You three seem pretty fierce yourselves. I'm a bow, by the way. You're a beau? I'm a beau. I know. I use a beau staff. It's not meant to be cute.

I don't like talking about it. That's Yasha. Hello. Hello. Very nice to meet you. I really like the whole ensemble that you have on. Thank you, I made it myself. Wow.

Yeah. You're a very wonderful seamstress as well. It was part of the training at the temple. We had to make our own outfits. What temple? We didn't call them outfits, we called them vestments. I called them outfits,

my own vestments. What temple? The temple of Duke Ariok of Chaos. Whoa. Did we write it down? Yes, we did. I wrote the temple, it was the. Oh boy.

Hold on. Ash Mountains. The Temple of Notebook. Of Blackguard, of Blakeguard. The Temple of Blakeguard, is that what it is? Bladegarden is the city that the temple resides in. The attack that Lelia, is that Lelia? Who's Lelia?

Lelia is the priestess who died? Yeah. Okay, so the Temple of Ariok. Temple. Okay, so the Temple of Ariok. Temple of Ariok. The Temple of Ariok. Duke of Chaos. We've heard of this place. It has been destroyed by Madrak.

This is why I seek her. This is why you are here. For revenge. And for my dignity. And for the talisman, the spirit of virtue that we call dignity. Oh. Oh, wait, so there are two dignities?

There are two dignities. My dignity, because she defeated me. Okay, sure. And then there's, and she defeated me while I was trying to get back from her a talisman of virtue, the spirit of virtue called dignity. Lucky Jack, may I ask you a question

before we proceed further? Because I think we would like to join your cause and combine forces, if that's all right with you. I would be grateful for your help. My name is Nott, by the way. Nott. And my one question to you is, is there a Lucky Jill, a Mrs. Lucky Jack?

No, we take a vow of celib Mrs. Lucky Jack? No. We take a vow of celibacy. So you're single then? Yes. But again, a vow of celibacy. I'm not familiar with that. Celibacy means you don't have physical contact. You don't have romantic entanglements with other creatures.

But come on, just a little bit? We do a little because it's a temple of chaos. Oh, okay. That much, but it's in the book. It's in the book, so we have to, we have to at least lip service to it. Sure. Okay, so wait, wait. So Nott, Beau, and?

Yasha. Yasha. Jack, you can call me Jack. LJ? Sure, LJ. The storm grows ever thicker. There was a storm? Indeed.

Clouds gathering ahead as a soft rain begins to hit that reminds you of the night of your previous failure. Flashes of dark energy and faintly purplish lightning begin to strike and gather above the tower. Time grows short. Does it seem to be emanating from the tower? It seems to be definitely focusing

around the space above the tower. You seek Madrak, I seek Madrak, and why are you guys seeking her again? Because she sucks. Right? Yes. Anything to add to that? She's just, yeah, she's the worst. No fight here here and you know

we do love a mission of vengeance is she in the tower do you know if she's in the tower is this her tower we were told that she was here and we tracked her to this how do you guys feel

about going inside I say we go inside how many entrances are there can we see any other entrance than the one in front of us make a perception check roll a d20 add add your perception modifier. Uh-huh.

Perception. Plus one, not great. Six. Six. Just those big twisted iron gates in the front. Hmm. Okay. We only arrived and haven't scouted the place yet.

Do you think we should go through the front door or try to scale it or what's looking good? Windows are for cheaters. Oh. Wait, who said that? Windows are for cheaters? A bard from an alternate universe I went to once. Winners use the door.

Okay. Okay. Let's do it. I don't know, I like window, I don't, feels aggressive towards windows, but let's do it. Let's do a go through the door. Okay. Let's do it. I don't know, I like window, I don't, feels aggressive towards windows, but let's do it. Let's do a go through the gate. I'm gonna walk up to the gate and see if it's unlocked. You're just gonna try it? Well, I don't know.

Okay, okay, go. They're twisted, why would they still be locked? This is true. Jiggy there. They are quite bent and wrecked, but you do see a heavy chain that wraps around the center of the two main gate bars that holds it shut. Is there a lock?

You can see what looks to be a dangling, heavy old iron lock on it, yeah. I could try to pick this lock and get us through, or we could try to bash it, I suppose. I mean, if you can pick it, that saves a little shortage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not getting there. I will blow on my fingers and cast Mage Hand, making a spectral hand going up, holding my thieves tools,

and I will try to pick the lock remotely in case it blows up or something. Go for it. Oh, this dice was a journey. 17 plus, what's my, it's like dex, right? Mm-hmm. Plus four is like 21. 21, okay.

As the spectral hands finish placing the final bits of the lockpick past the final tumbler, it clicks and hangs open, and the chains fall in. Oh. Good job. Yeah, that's great. Thank you. Good job. What's your profession? and hangs open, and the chains fall in. Oh. Good job. Thank you. Good job. What's your profession? My profession?

Are you a thief? I'm a bit of a thief, a bit of a rogue. I have a little bit of magic, too. Why do you ask? I'm just curious. I haven't asked what everybody does for a living. I'm a fighter. That's my calling.

I was one of the people who was supposed to defend the temple, which is why I lost my dignity. Not only an acolyte of Arioch, but I was there to defend the priests and the other acolytes. You failed. And I completely failed, hence my dignity's gone. What is your training?

My training, I am a fighter, essentially, as well. I'm a sword for hire, not a gun for hire. I don't know what a gun is essentially, as well. I'm a sword for hire. Not a gun for hire. I don't know what a gun is. Okay, great. Sure. Yes, and yourself? Also, you know, a bit of a martial class as well,

but I like using my fists, like getting up close and personal. Were you trained in a temple of some kind? Yeah, so this group, they're more like librarian monks. Okay. Yeah. And hey, I want to tell you, man,

I think you're being too hard on yourself. I don't think I'm being hard enough. We've all suffered losses and defeats. Not like mine! Shh. Quiet. Don't upset me. I'm sorry.

Oh, oh. All right. Are you causing this? Is this you? I think so. Wow, your rage is meteorological. But I don't know what that means,

but let's go inside. Okay, okay. Let's do it. Okay, okay. You step up to the freshly broken chains, pull them aside and open the gates. And as your group steps past the threshold, suddenly a series of runes begin to glow

on the ground around you. A surging blast of infernal energy begins to fill the space. I need everyone to make dexterity saving throws. Oh no! So go ahead and roll a d20, add your dexterity saving throw. Should be on the upper left. Ooh, yucky.

14. 14, that's a success. 15. Success. Nine. 12. Okay, so Lucky Jack and Yasha, you both only take 12 points of fire damage.

Okay. The rest of you take 24 points of fire damage. Can I uncanny dodge this, or is it a magical effect or area? You can, so you take half that. Okay. Do you have uncanny dodge? It's an ability.

I do. Yeah, then yeah. I do, yes. So yeah, so you go ahead and you take the 12. Okay. So you manage to just dive out of the way in time. You and I took 12? Took 12.

Looks like some sort of an infernal trap had been set there at the base of the tower that you unfortunately set off, but it is now dormant, and you look a little scarred, a little burned, but here into the entry foyer of this partially ruined tower. You can already see within the space here, surprisingly well-maintained.

The dusty floor covers, and rough-hewn walls harbor two curving staircases that climb upward into a secondary floor above. A large eight by eight foot grate sits across the room on the floor. I mean, it feels like we should go up the stairs, right? I'd like to see what's in that grate. All right.

Do we have a light source? Well, I don't get to make the decision here. Because when I said let's go in, I assumed we were going to do go more cautiously, and I feel a little responsible for the fire damage, you guys. Everybody took, so... How do you feel about checking the grate? Honestly, I think we just

took your name as being sort of a good omen, but maybe it's not, so... But you survived whatever that was, so. Yes, yes, but I lost my dignity. So this is, you got this at the temple. I got this scar from Andrakis. Yes. Okay, let's check up. She really sucks.

She sucks. She's the worst. Do we have any light sources? I have light. So I forgot I had this. Oh. So I... Oh. I forgot I had this. I don't think you've ever used that. I don't think I ever used it in the game. So I take out my hand and poof,

the light comes out. All right. All right. A globe of light begins to apparate from her hand and fill the space with a warm, soft, soft white-yellow light. As it does, a shape skitters off into the corner of the room and clutches against the wall. You all glance over towards it,

and you see what looks to be maybe a two and a half, three foot tall, thin-looking humanoid creature with large, leathery, bat-like wings. It clusters to the wall, looks back, the light bouncing off of its eyes, and that creepy of like creepy flashlight against a cat at night type of a look

and it kind of, no, no friends? No, no friends? How exciting, I like no friends. Guests who wish to talk, yes? You wish to talk? Yes, yes, we mean you no harm, yet. It leaps off the wall and lands onto the ground

about 10 feet from you, right by where the grate is. You see as it glances at you, its jaw's kind of off-kilter to the side, jagged, broken teeth. It looks like it's seen some rough days, but definitely has kind of a deep maroon-brown, fiendish coloration to it that has almost a scaly texture.

It resembles in some ways some of the devil creatures that wander the Wastes of Xhorhas, but its eyes are wide and it glances towards you with a very pitiful expression. Please, this hour is lonely, it's cruel. Cruel men taking the upper floors. I just need friends to be friends. What?

You said that cruel men have taken the upstairs? Yes, cruel, cruel men. Any of them women as well, named Marga? You're right. It is unfair for me to lump both sexes, all sexes into a singular phrase. The people have taken the tower. That is on me. My apologies.

Is anyone, does any of them have green skin and horns? Yes, yes. One big nasty one. Hurt me lots. So this was your tower originally? This and other ruins. Places I call home.

Stay quiet, stay away. Not many friends. Do you have a name? I am called Bosun. Bosun? Are you Bosun's friend? We can be. We're not Bosun's enemies.

Yes. How about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good start. Can we agree on that? That's a good start. Bosun, what's in the grate? What's in there Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good start. We agree on that? That's a good start. Bozen, what's in the grate? What's in there?

You hang out here. What's down there? At this water-filled dungeon, many floating bodies, old kept things, bones and pieces and items left behind. Items? I like items. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Did you see Madrak drop anything in there when she came in here? Did she fight you, by the way? Bosun does not fight. Bosun takes hits. Oh. Well, after you took the hits, did you see her drop anything in there? They brought in person, made angry Jelstorts, killed and dropped them within before climbing to tower. Make ritual. Ritual? Ooh, this sounds tower. Make ritual. Ritual?

Made ritual with the dead body? Brought part of it up, yes. The heart? Maybe. Do you know where her heart is? No. What part? Was it from around here? Did they cut this part out?

Yeah, carved into boobie. Let's not get technical here. So you don't know what a heart is, but you're cool on boobies. I only read what I find around here. Sure, sure, sure. Strange magazines left in wild places. They have foldouts. Kind of stuck together, yeah.

My brother found them in the woods. Yes? Ah, yes, many do, many do. Maybe we can find some of those down in the grate. Should we investigate to see if there's anything down there useful to us? Well, though it's in the water, can any of us swim? I'm in armor. I could probably, yeah, we could probably do it.

You hold the light and look over the grate, and the grate looks a little flimsy. You can probably climb in carefully. The water, as you kind of hold your light and look over the grate, and the grate looks a little flimsy. You can probably climb in carefully. The water, as you hold your light over it, looks maybe about two feet deep, not two kilometers. Okay, we can stand in there. Sure. I'm going to start looking around,

seeing if there's anything that sort of matches the description of the spirit of the virtue. How big is the spirit of the virtue. How big is the spirit of virtue? It is about the size of a crown. Okay. It is a jeweled relic, like a reliquary that contains ashes of previous acolytes

of the Duke of Chaos. Got it. I'll hop in and assist Yasha. All right. You're both going down? Yeah. Okay. Sploosh, sploosh. Are you following or staying up top? I'm staying up top. Okay.

I'll stay with Lucky Jack. Just you and me up here, huh? I know, I'm aware. I can count. You may both make investigation checks if you'd like to. Hopefully it's not a bad idea to jump in here. Let's see, let's see. Let's see. The smell of mildew, old still water,

and rot hits your senses. Natural 19 for 24 total. Ooh! 11. Okay. Oh, okay. You kick through a few, looks like some bloated rat corpses and some elements of fungus that have begun to settle

on the top of elements of the hard water. You do find what looks to be a number of corpses that were recently kept within some cells that have since been left open and floated out. Some that are fresher, some that are much older. But what you do see within the first one, it looks to be a scroll box of some kind floating by its body, partially covered by it. It's a piece of nice, smooth metal that's got a little bit of mildew and mold on one side. Yoink.

And then I just poke one of the bodies with my staff, just poke it with a stick a little. Okay, okay, let's go, let's go. All right, so to keep them coming close to watch, things seem fine. You two compatriots rise back up with this somewhat waterlogged scroll case. Check it out.

Are you trained in the arcane? Can you identify what that is by any chance? I don't know that I am. I'm a fighter. I'm a simple man. Well, you studied at a temple. I didn't know if you were a fighter. I did, but I studied fighting at the temple.

Oh. I don't think I have any- No, I don't seem to have anything. Does anyone have any training in the arcana? I know a little bit of arcana. Just a nut? I'll examine it and see if I can discern what it is. All right.

19 plus something, plus three in Arcana. So looking at it, you can see there are these two latches on the sides. This is less about the Arcana, this is more about just you being an accomplished rogue. You hit the two buttons and it flips open. On the inside, you do see a wrapped up scroll of vellum. And even just taking out and getting a quick look,

you can see this is indeed an enchanted scroll, a single-use spell that may come in handy at some point if you feel necessary. It is a scroll of Dispel Magic. Okay. That's good. Cool. Good find. Well, okay. Bozen.

Yes? Is there anything you want? Okay. We've got it. Bozen. Yes? Is there anything you want? Just help friends. Eric's on your shoulder like, seems kind of angry and frustrated with this new compatriot. What's up, Eric? Does Eric talk?

What? Eric doesn't trust? I try to swat away. No, no, no, no, this is my friend Eric. Eric the second. This is Eric the second. What happened to Eric the first? It's too sad of a story for me to remember.

Blotches. Blotches. Yeah, that's one of the reasons why I went to the temple, was for healing. I'm so sorry. Yeah, and then I was taken in, taken in as an acolyte, trained. Your sadness is sort of attractive.

It is? A little bit, yeah. You're a cheap date. So, can I communicate with Eric? Yeah. Okay, why is Eric upset? Eric, in your ear, and you get the gist that two flying compatriots seems a little much.

And also, I don't know, it's a dark tower, weird guy. Just be careful. Okay. What do you guys want to do? Well, we've gone down. We might as well go upstairs, yeah. Bozen, do you think you could be our guide and lead us to Modric and the other baddies?

Yes, come, come, follow me. Dining chamber above, this way. Hey, you stab us in the back. There's going to be consequences. Nothing to stab! And it kind of floats up the right-hand side of the chamber, the right staircase, as opposed to the left. It floats, doesn't touch the stairs. Indeed.

Do we get any sort of sense that this creature might be lying to us or truthful or? Those who want to try and discern its words can make an insight check, if you'd like. Two of you, okay. Roll and add your insight skill. 13. 13?

I had a 19. 19, okay. Both of you get the sense that there's just something not right about this little imp. Elements of it seem like it's trying too hard to put on an air of pitifulness, and it's eager to drag you upward. How do you feel?

I mean, we have to go up, right? We do, we do. Are there any other doors out of this room other than the stairs? Is there any entrance or exit other than up those stairs? We investigated the grate. Looking around this space, it looks like any other door there might have been, which would have been

in the far back wall, the stone has fallen in somewhat and blocked it. And even just understanding the shape of the tower, that one probably just leads outward from the tower, a secondary entrance that you hadn't previously perceived. And are there two stairs going up? Or just one? Two staircases that go upward that go to the secondary floor.

Is Bosun leading us toward one? Bosun is going up the right-hand side. Not on it, but floating above. We'll take the left instead. I'm down with that. Okay. I'm going to the right hand side. Not on it, but floating above it. We'll take the left instead. I'm down with that. Okay. I'm gonna go with Bozen. You go with Bozen?

Yeah. Okay, cool. Can you fly with your wings? Your skeletal wings? No. You can't? But in the future, I am being able to fly.

In this moment in time, no. It just scares people. It's kind of time, no. It just scares people. It's kind of a dumb thing. Like Balrogs. Yeah. So as the three of you clamber up the left-hand side of the staircase, carefully but diligently, keeping awareness of the space around you,

you climb into the secondary floor, and within this room, you're met with an oddly beautiful dining chamber amidst what looks like a torture room. You see racks of wicked weaponry and hooks that line the walls, and in the center, a long table of dark wood with seven high-backed chairs that host tableware and remnants of a meal. There remains fresh fruit and breads and cheeses, almost, and what looks to be juices of a previous dish left upon the platters that currently are set out. You see some odd dark runes that are set across the floor that appear to be burned with charcoal into the stone ground.

Six in all of these runes. And another staircase that continues up even further. There is one door that leads to another chamber beyond this on the same floor. And right as you're all taking this in, the rest of you watch as Bozen comes flying up, looks at the three of you and goes, Oh, getting a wander curious, I suppose. Right as you hear,

make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, dang it. Come on now. I had to do it.. Oh, dang it. Come on, now. I had to do it, I had to do it, I'm sorry. Just got to poke the bear. Oh, oh, natural 20. Woo hoo! Nice! Okay. Okay, plus two.

So you only take 18 points of lightning damage. Oh! Why did I do this? I could have been a killer. 18. Woo, boy! And the sound of this flash, Why did I do this? I could have been a killer. 18. That would have killed me. And at the sound of this flash, this smell of burnt ozone kicks into the air.

You see bright light and the yell of Yasha's pain from below, and Bosun spins around, and you can't even help but hear a little escape. This guy. Yeah. What, did you do that, or was it the staircase? That was staircase. Bosun can't do things, or was it the staircase? That was staircase. Bosun can't do things like that too small.

I don't believe this. I don't believe you. What value is this guy serving at this point? Helping, helping, helping you to stop this odd green-skinned bad lady. How are you helping us? Why didn't you tell me about the staircase? I told you to follow. I was not aware. I don't stow on stairs. I'm a flying one.

I mean, he's definitely trying to kill us, but he's so adorable. He is really cute. It's making me feel very conflicted inside. Leave him be for now? I guess so. So we've got the door in the back. The door in the back and the staircase that curves up to the next floor. So you got the lightning damage,

the electrical damage, but you made it all the way up. Are you okay? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm still standing. I got a question. I got a question. The regaining hit points, do you still call them hit points? Yeah. Regaining hit points. There, you can have a second, I can do a second win to get them back.

Yeah, if you want to. And the second one gives you how much possible recovery? It's 1d10 plus five. What did we lose? We lost 12. We lost 12. I guess I'll wait until I can't possibly get. I don't know.

You also each have one healing potion on you that you can use if you'd like. And this restores between one and eight? I mean, two and eight? That would be between four and 10. You just go ahead and pour that out, and then add two to it. Oh, I see, I see.

We are at a dining room table. We could all take a shot and eat some dinner real quick. I'm not sure if I want to eat. I don't think I want to eat. I'm not sure if I want to eat. It looks delicious, but... He said, almost like cheese. Yeah.

And something about... Which I found very amusing. Almost like... Or almost as if cheese. Or you said something like that. This is almost as if cheeses. And I just love the idea. That's such an appealing... Would you like something that's almost as if cheese is. And I just love the idea. That's such an appealing.

Would you like something that's almost as if a cheese? Don't you like a good almost cheese plate after a nice meal? I'll take my healing potion. Yeah, I'm gonna take mine as well. All right, I'm gonna chug. Shot, shot, shot. Oh, come on.

Seven. Six. Plus two, you said? Plus two to the dice roll. Yep. All right, so your healing potions are expended, but you'll heal back some health. That's good.

Good. So. Oh, yes. What's your plan? You have the rising staircase? Or the door. Or the door. And the table.

And the table. There's a table to be investigated here. Almost cheese. Oh, yeah. We should give it. Do we divide and conquer? Do we focus? Let's check it out. I'm going to check out the table

with Jack. I'll inspect the door. Would you like to ask me if I'd like to come with you later? I'm really sorry. I thought you were already doing it. I just mentioned the table. I'm going to the table. Would you like to look at the table with me? Yes, I would. Okay. Which is nice to be asked. I know. I should ask. Sorry. Yes, we should check out the table?

We'll check out the table. We'll check out the table. We'll see what it's like. We'll investigate the surface of the table. You're with me, no questions. I don't even have to ask. I would say you make an investigation check. You make a religion check.

Ooh. And just d20, add your religion skill. This is your knowledge about religions and rights. 15. 15, rites. 15. 15, very good. 13. 13, okay. Between the two of you, you do discover that it looks like the remnants of the meals that are here, beyond the occasional remaining side dish, very meat-centric. The things

that are almost cheese-like upon looking at it, the consistency's a little off. It has almost like an animal fat-type sponginess to it. You, who have lived in the wilds and have dined on many beasts and raw flesh, know that this definitely has a human-scented texture to it. There you go. You, Jack, pick up that this meal is indeed a twisted mockery of a sacrament that would initiate an extensive ritual. The runes on the floor are primarily used to bind something large.

It's only missing salt. Salt is a strong catalyst for binding and unbinding. But you do know that this table represents essentially a middle finger to sacrament. All right. represents essentially a middle finger to sacrament. All right. So there's something big in this building that's been bound by a spell. Perhaps not sufficiently if there's no salt here. That would be how I would perceive that.

Could very well be. This sounds like chaos. A beast big, how big was, how big is, what, Modok, Madrak? Big, but still humanoid, right? Still humanoid, yeah. So something bigger than that, perhaps. Okay.

Hey, Bozen. Yes, yes, you called me. Okay, so there's no separation between this first floor and the second floor. There's no door or anything that kept us from coming up here. All you do is you could just fly up here anytime you wanted, right? I do, yes. Was there something else big up in this room that was bound? Because you must have perceived what happened up in this room.

What was up here other than Madrak and her followers? I don't know, stay down below. Too scared to hurt, don't go too far up. Did you hear anything? I heard chanting, speaking, might hear it now. You listen and you can just barely hear the sound above of voices in unison. .

I'm gonna reach out and I'm gonna grab Bosun. of voices in unison. Dream of Santa Day So for our chance I'm gonna reach out and I'm gonna grab Bosun. Why you had Bosun more? You need to tell us

the truth. Make an intimidation check. Come on. Barbarian realness. Okay. Okay. 17. 17. Right. Okay, okay.

17. Okay, 17. Right, okay. So, sorry. Working for Green Lady. Just trying to help her out. Get nice prize. But help you now,

because you're scarier, weirdly. Upstairs, having ritual, bringing big scary demon thing through. Might want to stop it soon. Bringing it through. Bringing it through. Through what? Through a portal or something? Through Skye!

Oh, no. Let Bosun free? It's not out yet, though. Maybe if we hurry, we could stop it. All right, let's go. Let's go. Let's charge this. There's a stairs?

Yeah, up the stairs, Bosun. Or through the door. Upstairs? The door is just sold. Is there anywhere else we're going to get hurt? I don't know. Probably upstairs. What's through that other door?

Storage. Storage of what? What's being stored there? Weapons and goods and what they made the mule from. All right. Go upstairs. It's people. Should we try to not get hit by a trap on the stairs this time? Can we perceive a trap? If you want to go ahead and investigate, yeah.

Yeah. All right, so two of you make investigation checks. Okay. Oh, I got no plus on investigation. Come on, baby. Come on, Lucky Jack. 12. 12?

Okay, I rolled a 13 plus 6. Okay. So as you're, like, stepping up, you go ahead and look forward. Seems pretty decent, clear to go, and as you begin to rush, your foot up about to hit a step, not stops you, and you glance down, you can see that the step itself has a pendulum weight element beneath it. I move Lucky Jack's leg back,

but also feel the shape of the calf muscle, just to kind of see how lithe or how buff. I don't blame you. It's pretty nice. I'm a dancer's leg. Watch yourself! Let's skip this step, and I will hop over to the next. All right, no issue.

And as you follow suit over that step, you all safely continue to traverse the staircase upward. The chanting gets louder. . And as you step up, the wind begins to hit your face, and the sound of thunder gets louder as you realize the top of this tower, long ruined, now stands like a jagged piece of an old spire's memory.

You see bits of broken stone and various staircases and raised platforms, almost like long-forgotten, leftover, what's the word? I'm feeling good to you right in the middle of that. It looks awesome! It looks really cool. There we go. No, like broken scaffolding.

It all just kind of sits over itself with different layers. In the middle of this room, you can see there's a large circular rune that is drawn on the ground, deeply layered and intricate itself, like pulsing with an odd orangish-red glow. On these different elements

of the rosen and broken platforms, you can see these cultists in dark robes currently holding blades out in front of them, and they're looking upward. At the top of this, you see the familiar sight of the green-skinned, long-horned, angry individual responsible for your terrible year. She stands out, holding arms to the sky,

enchanting as well, and above, you see this strange Terran reality. The dark shadows are gathering and swirling. You can see now, it's beginning to break apart, and there is this dull heartbeat, the sound. Oof, oof, oof, oof. I can see it. It's getting louder and louder.

This is all around a central rune on the floor? Yes, and there. Are there acolytes with her, or is it just her? It's her and what looks to be four acolytes that are all, they don't notice you at the moment. You do also see up with their hands up in her grasp a familiar jeweled reliquary. Oh, she's using it. I take out my sword very quietly.

And you said the acolytes are standing on this scaffolding? Yeah, the large broken parts of different staircases and upper platforms and daisies that have partially fallen. Don't strike the reliquary. Oh, what will happen? I will be upset.

Oh, it's not going to explode or anything? No, no. I'm not aware that it has any power other than the symbolic power, other than what she's using to summon the demon. But still, you being upset would not be good. But I'm not aware that it has any power other than the symbolic power, other than what she's using to summon. But still, you being upset would not, that would not be good. But I'm here to recover it for my temple. We've heard you explode, you know,

metaphorically with your rage before, and I wouldn't want that again. All right, great. Good, we're all understanding each other. This is all whisper, we all whisper. Indeed. But Bosun is kind of near your shoulder, like still kind of in your grasp, and he's like,

So, Bozen friend, you set free, let free? Not yet. Help! Help me, help! He starts screaming out into the wind. Bozen! The chanting all of a sudden halts, and all the figures turn their attention down

towards your group. You see as the bosun starts screaming, Mistress, Mistress, I have learned the beautiful punishment as you asked. She looks down. I will admit when I am surprised. So well done. Perhaps you aren't as useless as I originally anticipated.

Regardless, we're too close now to let you stop this." She still clutches the reliquary in one hand and pulls from her side this large, dark blade. It's like a shimmering black metal that almost seems to vibrate and sing with the draw. Roll initiative. Oh! Here we go. Ooh. Oh boy, this seems like a battle. All righty. So we have, what's your initiative?

I hit 14. 14, okay. Yasha? Seven. Okay. Whoops. 14. Okay. Yasha? Seven. Okay. Whoops. 14. 14. All right. Beau? 13.

Okay. I had to think about it. So Madrak is going first. She begins to cackle. You watch as she raises up the reliquary in one hand, and you can see where that tear is in the sky. These red eyes begin to burn, and a massive, dark, red arm begins to emerge, black, hooked claws on it. It just reaches out and seems to almost find purchase

in the air, like it's grasping reality and using it to weight itself and anchor itself here. She looks down upon the rest of you and goes, But perhaps it's best you fight amongst yourselves. No. I need Yasha to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh! Come on, Yasha! It's not a librarian!

Come on, roll high. Negative one. Ooh no, that's an eight. Yasha, clutching her blade, looking up towards this, all of a sudden shakes her head, opens her eyes, and they themselves burn with a familiar orange glow. Oh man. As she begins to turn her attention towards the three of you. No. Oh no!

I'm going to... Nott and Jack, you guys are up. Okay. I will engage in a disarming attack. Okay. Against her. All right, so go ahead and roll an attack. 17 plus three. Plus, yeah.

Isn't that right, strength plus three? Yeah, oh yeah, it should be. So 20. 20, all right, and what's your armor class? 14. Okay, and so you're using your disarming attack. Go ahead and roll a d8 for your battlemaster maneuver die. One.

This is fine, you're doing less damage against her, so for an ally, that's a good thing. Okay. That's true. So you go ahead and swing forward. I need you to go ahead and make a strength saving throw. Oh no. That would be eight.

Eight? Yes. That's a failure, which means in that brief moment, you rush up, Jack, pulling your blade out. You grasp the side of her blade and strike it from her hands. Magician's Judge goes scattering to the ground and down a few more steps, almost teetering into the secondary floor.

You are now weaponless. That's your- You're welcome. Yes, lucky Jack. That's one attack. You still have a secondary attack with your long sword and your off hand if you want, and that battleaxe is screaming in your back pocket.

Can I throw the battle ax? If you want to. I throw it at Madrak. Oh my god. As you pull the battle ax, Madrak goes like, no, but seriously, you don't have to do this. We can be cool. We're doing it.

No! Go ahead and roll two d20s. Screaming as it goes. Choosing the lower number. Choosing the lower number. Yeah, and adding seven to it. 10, five, 12. So it's five as the lower number, adding seven to it. Okay, 12.

You watch as Madrat just sidesteps in the battle. He goes like, thank goodness! And vanishes off the side of the tower. Well, it's been great. It's been great. It's worked out. You still have your handaxe attack, if you'd like. Handaxe attack at Madrak.

Okay, are you throwing it, or are you getting up, trying to get close to it? Getting up close. Okay, so you go ahead and start jumping on the different parts of the stone platforms to get up there. Two of the cultists do get free strikes at you as you rush by. That is going to be one hits with an 18 plus. The other, what's your armor class? 16. 16, that misses with a 14.

So one of them does strike out with a short sword towards you, oops, for six points of damage against you, but you do manage to get right up to Madrak, and you go ahead and roll your handaxe attack. 18 plus three, 21. 21, that's great. Okay. And then handaxe is one die six?

One die six, yeah. One. Oh no, Steven. Plus three, so that's four. Uh-huh. Do you want to do any maneuvers with that, or are you good with that? Any maneuvers?

Yeah, you have your ability maneuvers as a fighter in the middle of your sheet. Precision attack? What does that do? Precision helps you hit. If you really want to make sure you strike, this arm means you can knock something out of somebody's hand,

and then the other one is, if someone hits you or misses you, you can go ahead and get an attack on them as a reaction. So you can't choose where you're hitting somebody with a precision attack. I can't say, yeah, I only did a little bit of damage, but I want to see if there's a possibility that it hit a specific spot on her. You know, on your next turn,

we can maybe try something for that. Okay, but that's an option if you plan it. Sure. No, I got no other. Okay, gotcha. Nott, what you got? Should I try this on Yasha, this Dispel Magic scroll? Oh, damn.

Oh, damn. You might be able to end the summoning, chop off that thing's arm. Okay, I will unfurl the scroll. Beau, you'll attack, right? Because I need a second. I got you. I'll read the scroll, start reading it, realize it's upside down, and then start again

and try to dispel magic. Okay, roll a d20 for me, please. Okay. Terrible six. Terrible six, unfortunately, is not enough. As you read the Dispel Magic scroll, it burns. It was the upside down, the first time was right, I was wrong!

Suck. Well, then I will run away from Yasha, because she scares me. So I'll run across the room and use my bonus action, if I still have one, to hide. Okay, roll a stealth check for me. Beau, you're up. Actually, no, the cultist is Scope, and then it's Beau.

No, sorry, they're after you. A million points to hide, 24. You're no longer in the story. You have stealth so hard. Okay. Jack disarmed Yasha. Yeah. And we're all running away from Yasha.

I think I'm going to do the same with the summoning situation. Does it look like there's any props or ingredients that I can just mess up? Make a perception check. Okay. Oh, terrible! Six.

Six? I mean, there's a rune on the ground and Muddark's holding a reliquary. Nothing else you see that really catches your attention? All right, above my pay grade. I'm ignoring that and I'm going to run and I'm going to start targeting the cultists on the side to maybe help slow down this.

So I want to kind of do some dope monk shit, jump up and parkour on the edges of the scaffolding, and see if I can just start grabbing them by the ankles and yanking them down. Oh, cool. Okay. Make an acrobatics check for me. Acrobatics checks.

That one's failing me. Oh, that's good. That's good. 24. Deftly, you begin leaping from section to section. For each attack, you can try and pull and grab one of the cultists down. It's like an attack roll?

Okay, first one. You blew it all on your parkour. It's super impressive looking. Whoosh, whoosh, and I roll a one. Yeah, you go to grab the ankle, but instead you get like a Christmas story, Santa Claus, ho, ho, boot to the face. For the first one, that one's still up there. You can dart to the next one, because you still rolled pretty well. So your second attack can try for the next one.

Okay, I'll go for the next one. That one's too aware of me now. Okay. 15. 15? Okay. No? they managed to resist it. You go and pull. These are some cultists, not so great. Okay, can I do Flurry of Blows and try again? Sure, go for it. Okay. You got two more. Using a ki point.

And Jack, you do have that one-use spell card over there to the right of your sheet that was decided upon by the community, if you want to use that as well. First one definitely misses with a three. The second one is 26. 26?

You do manage to grab one and pull it off the edge and they fall down and impact into the center of the rune. They look dazed and they're on their hands and knees in the middle of the rune. They look dazed and they're on their hands and knees in the middle of the rune. Okay, I'm going to just get up and I think that's my turn. I'm going to just start scanning and watching for the next person.

All right, now that brings us to the cultists. The one that's in the middle of the rune starts screaming as you watch the blood being pulled from his body. It begins to draw outward and swirl in the air, being drawn up towards that tear in the sky above. As you see the blood being drawn into it, a second arm begins to emerge. Oh, wait. The one that was tossed to the middle of the chamber, the rune itself seemed to be hurting it? Yeah, just drawing the blood out of them and committing it to the ritual.

Did I make it worse? I think you helped. I think this is and committing it to the ritual. Did I make it worse? But you also... I think you helped. Yeah, you helped. I think this is what was going to happen anyway. Yeah, I just expedited it. Yeah. The other three cultists begin to rush down,

taking strikes at you and you, and two at you, because you're the one who's holding the center stage on this. Oh no, you're hidden, so actually that's all three on you. Because that one just left you there. That is a 12 to hit, which does not hit your armor class, I believe. That is a 14. So all the strikes hit you, but they streak off your armor with these dull sparks and shing sounds as they all run past. You can get one attack of opportunity if you want to

on one of the cultists as they pass you. I'll do it. Go for it. So strike with your longsword. 16 plus three, 19. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Two. 16 plus three, 19. That hits, go ahead and roll damage. Two, is that also plus three? No, it's two plus four. Two plus four, six.

Six, okay, so you strike him. He's hurt, but he keeps running. They all rush down to the circle, and you watch as they all give themselves to the ritual. Oh no! The blood being pulled out of them. Sure. The tear begins to open wider and wider,

and now you can see these two heavy, massive horns emerge with burning eyes. Something is coming through soon, and you can just see Madrak just laughing, holding the reliquary up. You can see the energy swirling between her and the rune and the symbol. That brings us now to Yasha's go.

Yasha. Okay. Is she still chanting? Is she still doing an action? Is she still doing something? She is still chanting between the laughter. Got it, got it, got it. She's paying attention to you guys,

but is more focused on whatever's about to come through. Got it. Okay, so I, since I am a barbarian, I'm going to rage. Yes! And boy, oh boy, I do not have a weapon. So I am going to start making my way to my sword. Okay. So you rush to your blade, you grab, you pick it up. The only one that's closest to you making my way to my sword. Okay, so you rush to your blade, you grab, and you pick it up.

The only one who's closest to you is Beau. Doesn't her range like her? Oh no! Do you need to jam or something? Hers does not. But we'll say for the purposes of this, it takes you a moment to get there and get to her. That's going to be your turn, so you have to dash there.

Okay, okay. We're running low on time, so. Okay. Hi! Hi, babe! So turn, so you have to dash there. Okay, okay. We're running low on time. Okay. Hi, babe. So that brings us back around to the top. It is now Madrak's turn. You watch as she begins to draw more of this energy. The reliquary itself is now starting to rust in turn, and she begins chanting louder and louder as this creature is pouring through. That brings us back to Jack and Nott's turn. What are you doing? What about Eric over here?

Eric's? Eric the bee. He's angrily waiting. Does Eric have any ideas? Or do I give Eric his ideas? Well, if you want to ask. Eric, can you go sting her on the eyeball? Shh! Go ahead and roll an attack. Two.

Eric gets swatted. But has better armor this time and survives the attack. Okay. It seems familiar. All right. Nott, you got any thoughts? Was that your whole attack? No, no, that was Eric's turn. Okay, I'm going to try to interrupt her spell by,

oh boy, this is a terrible idea. I'm going to cast a spell. I by, oh boy, this is a terrible idea. I'm going to cast a spell. I have a spell called Hideous Laughter. I'm going to tell her a joke to make her laugh uncontrollably. Maybe that will interrupt the spell casting. I will yell from my hidden position, hey, did you hear about the cultist

who lost her left arm and her left leg? She's all right now. With a natural four on that, she fails her saving throw. And what was once the chanting and the cackling laughter goes, and just starts pointing and laughing ridiculously at this truly atrocious joke. And in doing so, you can see the reliquary in her hand is getting loose. pointing and laughing ridiculously at this truly atrocious joke. And in doing so, you can see the reliquary in her hand is getting loose.

Her grip on it is starting to lessen. Come on, Jack! Can I jump for it? Can I jump for the reliquary to grab it from her hands? Come on. So you go ahead and leap, go ahead and roll a strength check. So roll and add your strength bonus on this.

This is going to be contested with hers. Seven plus three, 10. Aren't you lucky? Doesn't luck do something? You can spend a luck point to re-roll if you want. Let's do it. Now's the time, baby! 17 plus three, 20.

20, okay. So she rolled a 16. You tear the Reliquary from her hand, and as you do, the tether of blood itself begins to dissipate and scatter. You watch as the beast that's pulling itself through, the tear begins to shimmer and crack and pull back in. The screams of the bodies fall as all the cultists turn to dust,

and the rune itself begins to fade. She looks down at you. What? How could you? Right as the large, meaty hand of this beast grabs her, and she screams, she's pulled into the space. Whatever beast this is being drawn back into its realm, dragging her back into it. The last thing you hear before the hole closes

and the storm comes to rest is her go, No! A little piece of some infernal material hits the ground, and there in your hand, you watch as the rust gives way. And you have in your hand your dignity and dignity. I got you. Is she free of her spell? Her eyes still glowing orange.

She blinks, her eyes come back. We should kill her anyway. Just in case. Wait, wait. Just in case. No, no. No, that's not how this works. What do I do? What do I do?

Did I hurt anybody? You checked out for a minute. Yeah, and I hurt you slightly to take your sword away. That was a good idea, because I probably could have hurt you all pretty badly. You got it? I have... Where is Bozen at this point?

Oh, yeah. Bozen is nowhere to be where is Bozen at this point? Oh yeah. Bozen is nowhere to be seen. Bozen. Wow. I have achieved my quest. How can I thank you for your help? I can think of something.

Is there anything else? Would you, do you guys have a god to serve? Would you like to serve Ariok, Duke of Chaos? We kind of already serve the chaos inside of ourselves. You know what, I'm fond of trinkets and baubles, shiny things, objects, anything like that that you might have. This is it, this is it.

Unless I have something else, do I have something else? Not that I know of, no. Cool, cool. You know, I would like a tour at some point of the Temple of Ariok. Oh yeah, that's a great idea. Well, here's my card. Okay, great. Here's my card. Yeah.

Just distribute that. You can just write it down for the rest of the day. You know what, you don't have more than one card. I only have one. I only have, I keep meaning to make more. As the storm slowly dissipates, as the four of you walk away, trading contact information and ensuring

that you have the opportunity to visit the reconstructed Temple of Arioch, making your way westward back into the safer lands of Wildemount, we close our adventure there of Lucky Jack and his newfound compatriots. Yeah! Praise be to Ariok!

Thank you, Ariok! Let's go! Wow. That was fantastic. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm so glad. Really enjoyed getting a little warm-up run here, because I already told you this, but my 40th high school reunion is coming up

in about a month, and the guys I played Dungeons & Dragons with, starting in 1977, Tomb of Horrors, which was the first module we ever did, we're gonna get back together, and we're gonna play, all those original guys are gonna get together, we're gonna play Tomb of Horrors and we have not played it since 77. How many years is it, 45 years? Oh my god. 45 years,

we're gonna play that again. Whoa. Oh my god. So excited, very excited. Are you gonna use this table and like? It's like nine people or something like that. Who's gonna run the game? The guy who originally introduced me to D&D, an old friend of mine. That is so cool.

That's so cool. He wasn't the original Dungeon Master. The guy who was the Dungeon Master when we were all 13, 12, something like that, he doesn't want to be the DM. So this other guy's taking over. He says he's going to make it hell on us. Tomb of Horrors is still brutal. What are you, what class?

Have you played Tomb of Horrors? I have dabbled in Tomb of Horrors. What, are you gonna be Lucky Jack? I'm just, no, we have assigned characters. We basically, there were 20 characters, pick one of these. So, but I'm very hack and chop, as you can tell. Yeah. I'm like, you know, I'm Leroy Jenkins all the way.

Yes! I just like, you know, I'm Leroy Jenkins all the way. Yes! I just like a fighter. You know, my favorite character of all time was, I had a witch. I had a witch, which was a magic user variant from the Dragon Magazine. Yeah, yeah. Like in like 78 or 79 or something like that. So I had like a 10th level witch, which was pretty cool.

She could do a dance of seduction. Ooh! Yeah. See, now I can pick up a thing or two. Yeah. This was a blast. Thanks so much. Ooh! See, Nott can pick up a thing or two. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. This was a blast, thanks so much. Thank you for joining us.

Really love to meet you guys. Matt, good to see you again. Good to see you again as well, buddy. Enjoy your game with your friends back in high school. I will. Thank you for showing off this. I know, it's so cool. I thought maybe everybody would be in costume.

We didn't get the memo! I wish, and we could've. We could've. I know you, I've seen. You know, my character just wears a black cardigan. You're kind of always in costume. Yeah, I got to know. The hair always kind of gives you like, Right, there's no escape of it.

You know, fifth level mage. Well, if we ever get around to doing this again for the Ren-No's Day, then we'll bring our outfits as well. All right, good. We'll match up. We'll go hard. Well, then I'll kick it up. Fantastic. It's an arms race, yeah. Thank you so much for joining us, Steven. Thank you for your incredible donations

and generosity for making this happen. Thank you to Red Nose Day for partnering with Critical Role Foundation again to make this a reality. You can still donate right now at critrole.com slash rednoseday and help them and us all together fight childhood poverty. Thank you all so very much. We love you, and is it Thursday yet?

Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. To help new listeners discover the show, please give us a rating and review on whatever podcasting app you're listening on. Until next time, is it Thursday yet?