Critical Role - Exandria Unlimited Episode 3: A Glorious Return

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

The group must return to Emon to seek the expertise of a powerful runechild, but the seeming simplicity of this task is made more complicated by the Nameless Ones' relentless pursuit...Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResourcesWatch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, please head over to our Twitch channel.

This is Liam O'Brien, and I am thrilled to welcome you to Exandria Unlimited on the Critical Role Podcast Network. As a reminder, Exandria Unlimited airs Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on Twitch and YouTube. If you'd like to watch the VOD, it's available immediately for Twitch channel subscribers and is uploaded to YouTube on Mondays at noon. Exandria Unlimited is, of course, also available in podcast form on Thursdays, a week after the original broadcast, right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network. Now, I think Exandria has waited long enough. Let's roll. Hello, and welcome to episode three of Exandria Unlimited.

I am your GM, Abria Iyengar, and with me are the coolest kids ever. I will let them introduce themselves. Let's start with Robbie. Cool. That's a lot of pressure. Look at that hat, though. I know. I'm a lady. I did it. I quit. I did it. My name is Robbie Damond, and I am playing

the Air Genasi Bard, Dorian Storm. Hi, I am Liam O'Brien, and I am playing the Air Genasi Bard Dorian Storm. Hi, I am Liam O'Brien, and I am playing the halfling I was always meant to be, Orym of the Air Ashari. Commence with pitch shifting. I am Ashley Johnson, and I am playing a faun druid named Fearne Calloway. Yeah, you are. Yeah! Hi, I'm Matthew Mercer.

I am playing the dwarf sorcerer named Dariax. Hi, I'm Amy Carrero, and I'm playing Opal, the one named Hexblade Warlock. No last name. Get into it. Amazing. There you go. Get into it. Amazing. And because these episodes are pre-taped, we're going to throw it to our good, good

friend Comfy Matt in the future for any relevant announcements. Take it away, Comfy Matt! Thank you, Abrea. Now this episode is sponsored by our friends at Ravensburger and the new Taco Bell Party Pack card game. This fast, easy to learn game is perfect

for a casual game night with family, friends, and puppers, and comes in a fun party pack style box with an easy carrying handle. Make a Taco Bell run and gather crunchy tacos, bean burritos, and more to feed your crew, supreme super fans, happier hour heroes, drive-thru divas, and more. Check out this fun game now

at bit.ly slash Taco Bell game, and thanks to Robinsburger for supporting the show. And as always, you can visit Robinsburger's Twitter page, at RobinsburgerNA, for a chance to win a copy of the game and a Taco Bell gift card. Isn't that right, Omar? This episode is also sponsored by Idol Champions of the Forgotten Realms, the strategy management video game uniting iconic characters from novels, campaigns, and popular shows into one epic adventure.

You start with characters like Bruner Battlehammer from R.A. Salvatore's Forgotten Realms novels and unlock additional champions through adventures and events like Drizzt O'Urden, your favorite character, Omar. Idle Champions is available now for PC and Mac on Steam, Epic Games Store, Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Nintendo Switch, iOS, and all Android devices. Find out more and download the game right now for free at idlechampions.com slash Critical Role. I love you, buddy. And enter the code deke-inko-bold

in the in-game shop to unlock Deacon Scaleslinger, the famous kobold bard of the Neverwinter Nights games. He's so excited, he's jumping out of his outfit. Thank you so much for joining us live on Twitch and YouTube. To join in our live and moderated community chat, please head over to our Twitch channel. Also, our latest episode of Crit Recap Animated

covering the Mighty Nein's adventures between Campaign 2 episodes 26 to 35 is available now on YouTube, narrated by our very own Lorekeeper. If you missed it, be sure to check it out right here during the break tonight. I think Omar's done. And that's it. Back to you, Abrea.

Wow, Matt, you sure do look comfy and those braids look amazing on you. You should keep it around. I like it. Anyway, with all that said, I think we're ready to dive into the next part of our story. So let's begin tonight's episode of Exandria Unlimited. Thank you. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room.

SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room.

SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. SAM and LAURA say a few words to the people in the room. So we begin again. So, we begin again. Pockets full to bursting with loot, first pilfered at the behest of, and then from an organization

known only as the Nameless Ones. You all manage through violence and a frankly upsetting amount of sexual charisma from Opal to make it out of the southern gates of the city and make your way to the southeast, to the Scar of the Cinder King and the Flamereach Outpost. There you met with Lorkathar, a fire ashari known to you, Orym. You were able to reconnect, ask some questions,

get literally zero answers. And before anything else could happen, a massive earthquake hit. And a ash-blown mesa rose up out of the ground, dominated the skyline. And you, along with some of the other fire tamers, went to explore what new landscape there was. At the center of it all, you found a massive burning sigil that I just remembered exactly right now that you all named an ash hole.

Got real sad about. I forgot that. I forgot, and I didn't see it coming, so that's on me. I found a sea. Found it. Had a little bit of a scuffle with your boy, Mister, but he's okay now, and you made your way back to the Flamereach Outpost, where you're able to sleep off your sundry levels of exhaustion. Lorgathar has asked you to find out

the meaning of that sigil to the person that she knows would have the best chance of knowing what that rune could possibly mean. And she has asked you to return to the dangers of the city in order to find her good friend and rune child, Sean Gilmore. So, it's a new day and getting colder. What do you all want to do? So we're on the edge of where we met the Ashari?

Yep. Okay. Well, we don't need to burn any daylight, do we? So we're going back, back into the city after I left someone tied up. We're just going to do that. I mean, good news is it's a pretty big city. So we just enter from a different gate. Different gate.

Should we change our hair? You know what I mean? Like, just have a little different type of a look. Yeah. Throw them off. I'm down for an updo. Yeah. Oh yeah, that would look great on you.

Maybe a little, thank you. You look very different. Thank you. Just to get creative with me. A little more business oriented. All right, yeah, I can pull that off. Respectful. First order of the day, everyone change their hair.

This is my perfect game, thank you. Opal does a nice French braid. Ooh. I'll do a nice sloppy man bun right on. Yeah, good. Real messy, real messy. This bun? Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, I'm pretty close.

Oh. I don't know, guys. Yeah. I mean, I can wet it, push it down to one side, it's less than an inch long, so. I could cut some of mine off and we could put it on top of your head. Nice wig. That's true.

What would that look like? Let's find out. Probably look beautiful. Do you think that would be more conspicuous or less? Less. Yeah. All right. I trust you. Okay. Oh boy, I don't know if I have any scissors.

Don't worry, I'll make you roll the second for me. I'll try to just trim. Or you can use one of my daggers. There we go. Here, can you trim some more? You can have scissors. I will give you scissors. Wait, I'm going to ask trim. Or you can use one of my daggers. There we go. Here, can you trim some more? You can have scissors. I will give you scissors. Wait, I'm going to ask for something in a second,

so just hold that. Okay, thank you. That's all me, baby bird. Go ahead. May Opal have some hair glue or glue already? What? I don't know. She might have some. She's got to lay this hair down. Hold on. Now we have to get into this.

What is Opal's hair care regimen? Does she have some gel for her edges? Baby hair. Yeah, okay. You know what? But it's very sticky, so it could act as a hair glue situation. I'll allow it. She knows what baby hairs are.

Great. 15 minutes. Great. Yeah, stay sober. Don't sweat. Opal pulls out a very stinky hair product. Smells like anybody who's ever smelled hair glue knows. It's called sovereign glue, but it's spelled differently. So it's not the actual.

Smells like ash hole. Yes. And just maybe like, I don't know, just like. Pepper it on. Peppers it on. There's like long hair. How much of your hair did you cut off? Just like an inch.

I mean, it's so long. Yeah, it's just a little. Just a trim. Just extra, a trim. A little trim. And now it's like, you have like a sea foam green, minty sort of, Opal did a wonderful job. I have got to get a performance check.

Can I assist? Yeah, roll with advantage! Okay. Oh. Yee! 17. I'm okay if it doesn't look great, though. I'm okay with that.

Oh, good. Because I'm picturing like a... No, okay, you just paint me a word picture of what it looks like and I will change one detail. Have you ever seen anyone who has a fresh hair transplant? Like plugs or the good stuff? I don't know the difference. Well, if it's the good stuff,

you don't know you're seeing it. That's true. That's true. Okay, plugs, bad plugs. Bad plugs, but Opal thinks it looks great. So it's like some of it's longer than the, you know, she's not, she can do her own hair, but it's something else doing someone else's hair.

Okay, it's pretty good. Like, unless someone like gets in, like, if you keep moving a little bit, you're all right. Yeah. So my less than an inch long hair, my almost a crew cut now has seafoam colored hair. I think it's like a seafoam, like it's like a minty wave situation.

How long is it now? An inch. Right? An extra inch? Yeah. Okay. So you frothed my teeth. Yes, correct. Correct. Think like 1998.

Oh yeah, Sugar Ray. For sure. Sugar Ray. Oh no. Am I the halfling Sugar Ray? Yes! Oh, that's great. Oh no. It looks great.

I don't think it even has brightening mirrors, but trust us, it's fantastic. It looks really good. But it's not quite right, so it's more like Narc McGrath. Like, you're just not quite right. Narc McGrath! Don't get dropped like Narc McGrath. Like, you're just not quite. Narc McGrath! Don't be dropped around Narc McGrath! You'll tell!

Oh my god. Okay, so you're looking funky fresh. Are the rest of you just, you have a braid. Do you think that's enough to pass unnoticed? I mean, she thinks so. Tight, I love it. Okay. Lorkathar comes into the room in this encampment

that's been designated for your group, gives you all. It's us. Yeah. Bet you couldn't tell. Yeah. He looks very different. I don't know, I'm just with him.

Please make an insight check. That is a 10. You, having grown up around druids, know that their intense command of their emotions, she's just holding it. She's holding in the biggest, meanest bark of a laugh, but you can see it in her eyes and you can just see this like,

I'm doing it for you and I'm not. I just gingerly feel the connection point. And I use my single druid cantrip druidcraft to create a thin little ivy wreath, almost like you would see in an ancient Roman piece of art, to mask the sub-part joining area. That's great. We love hiding a hairline.

That's good. Like the LeBron, like. Inspiration. And she gives you a little nod. Okay, if there's nothing else you need from me, good luck getting back into the city and give Sean my regards. And she just stops making eye contact with you

at that point. Thank you very much for your help and good luck with your ash hole. And as she coughs and tries to bury her laughter, she walks out. To clarify, just to remind me, I'm sorry. Yeah. We didn't fix anything up there, right?

Nothing's fixed, no. For as far as we know, the sigil's still up there. There's still raining ash. There's still this bizarre plateau on the horizon. Hundo P. Heroes. Okay. Heroes, got it. So basically, Lorkathar is the highest-ranked druid

in the group and is like, I have no idea what that is. Please go find someone that's smarter than me and let them know what's up. Yeah, I was just trying to remember if our interaction's up there. Actually, it didn't, you think, then? Yeah. Okay, got it. We tinkered with it, things happened.

We gained no understanding. Right, yeah. I'm a good DM. We're doing that. Keep going. All right, anything else we need? I don't think so. Oh, Dorian, thank you so much for talking Mister off of the edge. I was really nervous to lose him.

I know. It was more of a Mister whisper, but I did my best. I'm glad he's back with you. I know you care about him deeply. I do, and it means a lot that you did that. Well, thank you for saying thank you. You're welcome. We do know we're probably going to be murdered

as soon as we walk into the city, right? Yeah, no, I mean, I'm very upfront with all of you about that variable fact. So let's just stick to open streets. Maybe we'll luck out at another gate, like you said. I think that's a good idea. Open streets is the way to go. Broad daylight.

Yeah. Broad daylight. Broad daylight. Try not to get too lost in a crowd, maybe. Kind of easy to, you know. Yeah. Should be in the side. Dariax, do you still have the cloak? Oh yeah, no, I got this.

What if, just assuming that your beautiful wig and my bun and your braid and your fur aren't enough, what if we created a distraction? Ooh. What if you dressed as something that distracted them and draw their attention away from us? I got, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know just the thing.

I knew you would. What have you got in mind? I'll show you when we get there. Boy, it'd be so helpful to know in advance. There's so much fun in that. Trust me, she's very distracting. I dated her for a while, it'll work out great. Okay. Oh, wow. And on that amazing note,

yeah, you guys take off and head back, and we're just going to elide that trip. Nothing bad happens, and you are standing outside. Okay, so let me just break down Emon a little bit for you. You left out of the Southern Gate, and you know that Abdar's Promenade is on the eastern side of the city. So the Southern Gate, and you know that Abdar's Promenade is on the eastern side of the city. So the Eastern Gate will lead you

right into the southern tip of it. Do you want to head for the shortest possible path to get to Gilmore's Glorious Goods, or do you want to try to enter some other part of the city? Well, my knowledge of the city isn't great, so I wouldn't know what would be saving us from more trouble or not, other than repeating, going to the same place we left from.

Yeah, to that degree, I guess, from what little bit I've dabbled in some of the seedier elements of the city, would I have an idea of which areas were probably the most hit or patrolled, at the very least, outside of where we exited? Yeah, so Abdar's prompt, you know what, I'll make you roll for it. Give me a history check.

Oh, perfect. Yeah! First roll of the night. That's a zero. Oh, what? Wait, what? How? Minus one. Oh, wow.

Forget I said anything. I love this gameus one. Oh, wow. Forget I said anything. I love this game so much. Oh! I don't even know what to do with this. It's such a gift. This game, you can drop the most grandiloquent speech and then just hear that. You go back and think about everything

you know about the city, and you know, like you know, that going through the Eastern Gate has got to be the safest way because you don't go through the slums, and the slums is usually where thieves would hang out, so. No, it's a valid point, folks, trust me. As your local specialist on all things sort of, you know, under the belt, if you know what I mean. Of course. That came things sort of, you know,

under the belt, if you know what I mean. Of course. That came out wrong, but you know what I mean. I understand. Let's go to Eastgate. Eastgate, we'll be good. We'll be good. Distraction now, distraction later?

What are we doing? I think maybe, yeah, we, not when we're in the city, but we go in separate, and whatever you're gonna do, I assume is gonna make a big stink and draw in all the attention that eyes would have there. And we go in quick and nondescript while that's going on. Does it got to stink too? Does it have to stink as well? Well, I have more glue. You see Mister is like reaching behind him, ready to help.

Mister can help with the stink. It can smell however you want, Dariax. Yeah. Yeah. Mister's giving you a look. Not today, Mister, not today. Hands up. Just give a slow nod. Yeah. He holsters his poo. He hol a slow nod. Yeah.

He holsters his poo. He holsters his poo. He's ready. A tumbleweed just rolls by you. Yes! All right, so. My boy. Before we go into this, I know we haven't been, you know,

all up in the planning thing so much, but we're getting into some weeds now. So I think it's important we come in there with some semblance of a close plan together. That's how we stay alive when dealing with people that are really good at planning. Okay. Okay.

Or the streetwise one, we'll follow your lead. Exactly. So what are we planning? Okay. Well, we're supposed to meet Sean Gilmore. Right, we're going to Gilmore. Okay, that's first. Correct. So on the way to Gil, to get to Gilmore? Right, we're going to Gilmore. Okay, that's first. Correct.

So on the way to Gil, to get to Gilmore's place, I'm creating a distraction. What are you doing? Maybe we just walk right in behind you. Like a posse? You create the distraction, and then we'll just walk right in, and I'm sure your distraction will be glorious,

and we will just waltz right past. Yeah, it's all on you. Mm-hmm. I don't know, is that a bad plan? No, I like it. No, that sounds good. No, I mean, I think we wait for sort of like medium traffic going into the city. If there were a cart going in,

maybe we could walk alongside and you angle off on your own a little bit and then just go big or go home, you know? Yeah. You'll cut hide. All righty, all righty. Let's see what else I probably need for this. Anybody have any streamers? Ribbons?

I have all of the ribbons. I start untying some ribbons from my ankles, from my everywhere. Ribbons in here. Roll 2d10 for me. Okay. What does the 10 look like? Oh, yeah. Okay, seven total. She's got a good seven meters of ribbon.

You don't know how, just coming off just everywhere. All right, all right, perfect, perfect. No, this will work great. It's not quite as shiny as the original, but it'll work for what we need. All right, perfect, thank you. You still got those scissors?

Yes. We use the daggers. Did we use daggers, scissors? Yeah, you told me not to give you scissors. Well, I wouldn't. Sorry. Well, I've got my daggers. Did we use daggers, scissors? Yeah, you told me not to give you scissors. Well, I wouldn't do it. Sorry. Well, I've got my daggers. It's very sharp, it'll work. Mind if I?

All righty. Do you mind if I trim a little? No, go for it. I have much more where that came from. Just go ahead and cut the ribbon into two. The moment you touch the dagger, can you give me a quick arcana check? Sure. Cool.

That would be five. They're so sparkly. Continue. This is gorgeous. Like, fine make. It's got some decent balance to it. I love the kind of, you know, pearlescent handle to it. Where'd you get this done?

Well, I had it made special. And, you know, I used a little bit of my, like, inheritance for it. My sister was kind of mad at me. But anyway, it's so cute. Worth it. Dariax, you hear a little bit of my inheritance for it. My sister was kind of mad at me, but anyway, it's so cute, worth it. Dariax, you hear a little and it sounds as though it's over your shoulder. Ooh, you should really clean your ears. I really have never, so I should.

Here, I'm going to go ahead and cut the ribbon. Thank you. Thank you very much. All right, let me know when we're ready to go. Okay. I guess we'll chill by a tree for a bit and wait for like a, I don't know, a caravan to go in and just sort of walk along. Yeah. On the outside of it.

You probably don't wait more than 10 minutes before a big group of covered wagons come in and you can fall into step with what looks like a solid dozen people. Crossing into the city, the gates open immediately. There's no guard interaction, other than the fact that you see four guards up on the towers,

and then two that are standing by the doors, ushering people in. Okay, is it time? Yeah, let's move. As we go in, keeping one eye on Dariax, I'm also going to just look around the city streets and see if there's anybody eyeballing us. Perfect, give me a perception check.

Nine. With a nine, the moment you look into the city square past the gates, it's just a miasma of humanity, and you're not able to see anything in particular that would give you pause, but there are plenty of cloaked figures and people that are bundled up.

It's chilly and getting chillier, so. Big city. Mm-hmm. Okay, just pretend I said something funny. Do the thing. Oh yeah? I quickly tie the ribbons to my wrists while they're laughing, a lot longer than they intended to, probably to try and cover me up.

I'm sorry about it. to go ahead and take the cloak and whisk it around me. And where once you saw Dariax, as the cloak shimmers around and dissipates, you see a voluptuous half-elf girl, about five, five and a half feet tall, blonde hair that is pulled up and drifts off the top in an I Dream of Jeannie-type style,

a jacket of just glittering silver sparkles to a bell sleeve outlet where the ribbons now hang off of. You see these very pointed shoulder pads off to the side there, very late 80s, Delta Burke style. Yeah! Delta Burke. With all of these very glittering silks

that drift off, midriff showing, has almost like a belly dancer or burlesque visual vibe to it, but just this extremely loud outfit with makeup that is just done up to the nines. We're talking, it is hard not to be drawn to it out of beauty or confusion. And as that transition happens, looks over, hi.

And the first person to meet your eyes is the caravan you've fallen in step with as a salted meat trader just looks at you. Even if you stay here. And literally stops in his tracks. Oh my god, you're so nice. Thank you so much. All right, everyone, let's go.

Just so I can fully appreciate the wonder of this moment, are we hearing Dariax's voice doing this? Yes. Yeah. I appreciate the wonder of this moment. Are we hearing Dariax's voice doing this? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was hoping for. I just wanted to be sure. He's not a great impressionist. Yeah, hold on.

Performance check. Or we'll find out. Seven. I just want to be sure there was no magical masking. Yeah, there is no magical masking. Having said that, you do see a leaf, the trees that you were hovering behind before you fell in with the caravan, a single tiny green leaf drifts across

and lands on her shoulder that's much higher than Dariax's shoulder. That's the trick of this cloak, that the object interaction is there, though the vocal masking isn't. So you can still kind of hear Dariax, but there's a lot happening, and you're kind of getting into it and getting lost in it.

Okay, this is crazy, but I feel like I've seen you perform before. Were you in Byroden at any point in the last 10 years? I mean, she probably was at some point. She kind of, she moved on. I feel like I've seen her before. Tharla Star, we were a thing for a while. in the last 10 years? I mean, she probably was at some point. She moved on. I feel like I've seen her before. Tharla Starr, we were a thing for a while.

Tharla Starr? Yeah, incredible burlesque dancer. She toured mostly through Western, Tal'Dorei. We had a couple months that were wild, but then it just didn't work out. She's lovely. She's a lot. I'm good at Starstruck. Trix! What?

Go through! Yes, thank you, Orym, thank you! Start walking with the ribbons like this and just doing twirls and making this just a whole display. The guards are gone off-necked as you just walk in and eyes are on you. Give me a...

What do I want this check to be? Persuasion? I just want to see how much attention you can command. You got it, which I can technically use my Thaumaturgy to make my voice boom three times. So have you ever heard a vocal fry at three times volume? No! Passed by the guards like,

oh my god, hi. That hi, like rumbles pebbles on the ground. Oh god! Persuasion, you said? Yeah. Oh my god, hi. That hi, like rumbles pebbles on the ground. Persuasion, you said? Yeah. Oh my god. There we go. I'll give you advantage because you're seeing Thaumaturgy. I don't know what's happening anymore.

And that like, hi, echoes through. And you see a solid two thirds of this square just turns and snaps in your direction. There are easily like 150 people just staring at you right now, riveted. Too much distraction! Too much distraction! Rivets.

The streamers. Just going to streamers like, A figure eight. Oh my god, your city is so cute. All of you, thank you for having me. I see Opal just transfixed on the road and I just tug her by, like, at the knee of her pants. I'm like, come on, come on, come on, come on.

We're splitting off. Wait, no, but I want to see her perform. We can have him do it later. Okay, fuck. Okay, so with that, I want everyone to give me, not you, give me a stealth check with advantage to try to peel off in the opposite direction of Dariax. Dariax, please take inspiration.

That's wild. Just hi, Lady Gaga, just rolled into the game, and I'm here for it. I rolled once because I have disadvantage on stealth. Yep. So yeah, one time. Always? Five total.

Always? I have disadvantage on stealth. Yeah. Oop. Okay. Like times. Yeah. I mean, I'm like a large horse.

Okay. Five. 22. Eight. 19. All right. I'll make sure to be real quiet. Orym, you grab Opal and you guys disappear into the crowd opposite of Dariax's distraction.

And then you turn around and look and see that, unfortunately, Dorian and Fearne are just caught in the eye ray of everyone staring at Dariax's distraction right now. They don't really have a sense. Too short, do you see them? Yeah, they're just stuck there. What if I dance? if I... dance?

That seems like two distractions. Oh, you're right. Ah. What if I... Dorian! What? Fjord! We, uh, I mean,

we left. We're leaving. Who are you yelling? Should we try to? Oh, we're leaving. Who are you yelling? Should we try to? Oh, we're stuck, we're stuck. Here, and I am going to unclip my flute from my axe, toss it to Fearne, pull out my lute, and say, come on,

and we're going to go over to our dancing friend and back them up. Back her up? Yeah, yeah, we're going to back her up. Which I, wait. My thing didn't work. I don't know what you're saying. What?

Nancy! We're leaving! You will scream your way out of a scenario eventually. Eyes are now turning to both of you and Orym, sort of in the corner. I've lost my toddler, eventually. Eyes are now turning to both of you and Orym, sort of in the corner. I've lost my toddler, Nancy. Have you seen her? And an older woman that's bundled up against the cold

and has a massive wrapped pack on her shoulder goes like, Oh my god, oh my god. I know, her name is Nancy. She's four. Excuse me, this woman is looking for her child, Nancy! And now, in a rippling wave, eyes are turning onto you two. Oh, we need to help her find Nancy. Oh, there she is!

But you, okay, let me get a performance check for, oh god. Fearne and Dorian backing up Dariax. Does Fearne play the flute? Are you asking me? I don't know. I guess we're going to find out. Hey, Fearne, do you play the flute?

I've never played. Tight. Feels like some weird, fawn stereotype. I do play the dulcimer. That's not where I was going. The dulcimer? I do play the dulcimer, but this is not a dulcimer. That's not where I was going. I do play the dulcimer, but this is not a dulcimer. Okay.

Let's give it a go. All right, give me a performance check with disadvantage. You can have your normal check. This is beautiful. I'm imagining a high school band TikTok. Oh wow, okay. Yes. A cappella.

21. That's with disadvantage? I rolled an 18 and a 20. Oh my god, I was gonna say you play like hot cross buns, but nah, you get it. 14. Yeah. So I'm strumming along. You're golden. And I'm feeling it,

and I'm playing this sort of song out of nowhere. I'm stomping my hooves. I'm just like going down on this flute. Astounded. I'm like, Fer, you are killing it! Thank you, I'm just feeling it, you know? This is great! I love music. Mister has managed to get over to some young boy

wearing a hat and steals it and starts running around trying to get money. Oh my god. I love that. Mister knows what's up. He's like, okay, okay, okay. Oh, it's perfect. All right, so how do you want to deal with what you have brought?

Nancy! She looks at Orym. Where have you been? Mother. No. No, absolutely not. Why'd you do this? Oh god. Why did I do this? Deception disadvantage,

because that's the grown man. Damn it, that's a natural 20. Yeah, absolutely. A total natural 20s. What? Let's go! Yes! Look, look, look, look, look. I see it, I see it! You see it.

I believe you with my whole heart. Orym quickly throws a rag over the sword hilt jutting up over his shoulder. Nothing to see here. Come here! Four-year-old named Nancy. Are we going to do that shopping we talked about? Yeah!

Does anyone know where Sean Gilmore's shop is? Nancy really needs to go there. Boy, this day did not go the way I imagined it. And the woman who's been the ringleader and trying to ask the crowd, looking for a name. Oh, you found Nancy! Oh, sweet. And she runs over without looking at you too much.

She pulls you into her ample bosom and brings you over. You can't run away like that. And she's got you mushed into her meat while she's talking to Opal. Now, what did you say you were looking for? How can we get to Sean Gilmore's shop? Oh, Gilmore's Glorious Goods. You're going to want to go down this street.

Great. Third down, you're going to see a big red, and don't you run away. Don't run away. There's a little goat area, and I know how much kids love, when you see the goat path, make a left, then you're going to go down three more avenues.

One more left. Can't miss it. Covered with streamers, it's beautiful. It's a whole thing. Great, she'll love it. She finally looks down at you. She's so darling. And ushers you over to your mother, Opal. Come here, baby.

Opal's the least maternal person you've ever seen. But in Naturals 20, this woman does it. Just do the little toddler hug of the leg to hide my face from as many people as possible. Come on, Nancy! The incredible musculature of your back. Yeah, the shield, the sword. The sword is lost on this group.

She's still on the bottle. As their eyes glaze over. A grown, armed man. No, no, there's a cloth over it. Oh, oh, oh. It's totally hidden. Great. Yep. And I cannot believe that worked.

Yes. My god. Okay, so the two of you now know where to head, and the three of you are performing in the town square. Can I get... Yeah, give me perception checks from the three of you. All right, let's start with our own band, guys. Oh. Oh. Natural one.

You are lost in the sauce making music right now. I am just feeling it, eyes closed. Vibing. I'm just vibing, hips going. Zero. Another naturaling. I'm just vibing, hips going. Zero. Another natural one. No! Man, this is the best day of my life. Honestly, maybe I unlocked something in myself today.

Dariax is feeling it with the music behind him. I'm sure he's not looking like he's dancing great, but he's feeling it. We are just in the zone. Yeah. I get it in the zone. Yeah. Like, I get it now. Wow. Amazing. I hope an 11 saves this scenario.

You don't see, eyes are on you, but even as you're playing and looking around, you don't see anyone. There's no one popping out of the crowd to accost you. You don't see any weapons leveled at you. Okay. And can we see Opal and Baby? I'll give you that.

Opal and Nancy with that 11, you can see. If that's not a spinoff, I don't know what is. Opal and Nancy. They are going to make it. Sort of beginning to move to the right. And I don't think they've left, but they're sort of circumnavigating this opening that you've created. Totally lost in the sauce.

Absolutely. It's going to take effort to get them back on track because y'all are killing it right now. People are laughing and clapping along. Like, Mister's just body rolls. Yes! Mister! Yeah! Let's go!

Mister stays ready. All right, I'm playing the guitar and I'm looking around and feeling very uncomfortable because I know we could be in trouble. And as I'm playing, I'm going to sneak over, smiling to these two and go, When the song ends, make a break for Orm and, Orm and, y'all, dang it!

Con! Con! Now I understand! Yeah, it hurt! And I heard what you renamed yourself, and I was like,. I'm going to say, make your way over to Orym and Opal, okay? Okay. I believe it's Opal and Nancy, but yes.

Okay. And I'm going to follow in the last eight bars of the song as they're just going for it, going to town. And on the very last strum, as I break my way away from them a little bit, on the last drum, I'm going to cast, just for a little extra flair, cast Thunderclap and make a big, monstrous noise

to finish the number. Amazing! Like, everyone just freezes, and then you just hear as the crowd loses their minds. My god, you're so gorge, all of you. Thank you for coming. How should we go? Go!

Mister waddles back over to you with a heavy hat. Roll a d12 for me. Four. You've made four golds worth of tips, but in coppers and silvers. So you've got two pounds of coins, but in coppers and silvers. So you've got two pounds of coins and Mister's just like,

he's still vibing a little bit. You can see him bopping. Good job, little Mister. We need to do this more often. What should we call our band? Let's workshop it. We need to go find the rest of our team. Yeah? Yeah. All right.

Or should we perform some more? I mean, I'm always down, but we should probably find them. We should probably find them. We should probably find them. Okay, okay, okay. The moment you break from the sort of empty circle that you've created and get back to the crowd,

Dariax, you feel your arm is grabbed very strongly. Hi. What do I see? You see a tall, extremely dark, almost black-skinned, tiefling man with a white goatee and white, close-cropped hair. Kind of gives you a little nod, just says, I'm sorry, what was your name again?

Oh my god, my name's Tharla Starr. It's so nice to meet you. What's your name? And he pulls a little card out of his jacket and passes to you. It's jet black with gold embossing on it. He says, my name is Eduard, and if you are looking for somewhere to perform,

come and see me. Oh my god, Eduard, look at your card, it's so cute. More than my card is cute. Okay, maybe I'll think about it. Well, does the card have any information on it? Yeah, you just see that it's, sorry. We're just lost. Transfixed. You see that it's the black swan in the erudite corner.

Okay. So, like, do I just come by and ask for you, or? Oh, I'll make sure people are keeping an eye out for you. And this is that really creepy guy thing of, like, pushing some of your hair behind your ear. How much do you charge for performances? How much do you pay your talent? Oh, are you her manager? No.

Are you looking for work also? Are you a group? I just want to make sure that my friend, who is extremely talented, gets properly paid for what they do. Well, we begin at five gold a performance per night, but that's always up for negotiation. I'm a very good negotiator. Okay, well, that's a great place to start. I'm going to begin negotiations by first asking you to not touch me anymore, please.

Apologies. Just out of respect. Of course. Is there also a fee that you get from the door as well? A percentage? We can. And he gets a little stiffer, like, uh-oh, we're talking about actual business.

That can, of course, be negotiated based on what I saw here today. Cut of the door, cut of the bar, not off the table. Great. Over his shoulder in the distance, you see Orym climbing up onto an apple box or a crate, and you see him go, What are you doing? And then hop back down behind him. Perception check.

Oops. Ah, that's a one. Oh my god! 13. You notice, Orym, you are busy in negotiations and you're winning right now. Yes. You can see a little bead of sweat,

just a little trickle of black on Jet Black's skin goes down the side of his forehead. Edwardi, I'm really thankful that you took notice and maybe we'll come by and maybe talk some business later. But for the time being, Tharla's just arrived in Emon and we have other people to also hear offers from. So just like relax a bit and maybe we'll swing by. Well, I'm looking forward to it.

And he pulls a little handkerchief out, kind of dabs himself, fans himself, and then fades back into the crowd. I lean over, like, number one, thanks, number two, he's kind of creepy, huh? He's very creepy, but listen, we have a job if we want it.

Plan B. I mean, sometimes people see me and think I'm creepy. I'm not going to judge a book by its cover. Dorian, what are you doing during this? I am gobsmacked waiting for a moment to get my friends out of here. I cannot see them because they're negotiating a music contract.

Yo! We should go, we should go. I'm going to offer you freely that you saw Orym pop up. Yeah, I rolled a 12, I guess. Yeah, we'll count it. All right, get him on. So I'm going to insert myself into this, looking for a moment, and I'm going to say,

thank you very much. Eduard? Eduard? Was it? Mm-hmm. Yeah, thank you. Are you a part of this, too? Yes. Are you her manager? No, we're like a trio. Anyway. It's like a co-op.

Yes. That's okay. But as my friend said, we have other offers to field and other people to see. Very important people that we've been discussing going to see for quite a while, so maybe we should go see them. Yes, we should. We should go.

We should go. Yeah. But thanks. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to try to usher them away. As you usher them away, he gives a little formal bow and heads off in the other direction. I'm going to lean towards Dorian's.

What are their offers? Oh my god! I think it was a ruse. Actually, Mister's holding up little sheets of paper with addresses from people that dropped in. Oh, okay. I'll keep these, actually. We'll revisit this. He takes one, looks at it, gives it to a little friend and puts it in his mouth and just immediately gets immolated.

One. I don't like that guy. Okay. So yeah, Tharla was a bad idea. But you can see also why Tharla was a good idea for a short time. But let's go find the rest of our friends and figure out this Gilmore guys deal. As they walk ahead, I'm going to mutter to myself,

two months of playing gigs in this city and not a single invite to the Black Swan. Oh! Yes! Amazing. Did you say her name was Tharla or Thyla? Tharla. I thought it was Farla. I read that wrong.

Tharla Star? Tharla Star. One R or two R was Farla. I read that wrong. Tharla Star? Tharla Star. Yeah, one R or two R's. Like Farla, but with a T-H? No, two R's on the Star. Two R's? Okay. Tharla Star. I wrote down two R's on the Star.

Oh yeah? Yeah, you have to! You have to. I heard the two R's. I did. It needs it. It needs it. Tharla Star.

As they were, oh, go ahead. You go ahead. you go ahead. No, nothing. I was just gonna, I'm still like in character, like holding your hand, like Nancy. Stop climbing things. So I didn't jump down. Mom tugged me down.

Yeah. Get me out of here. We have to go. You should, don't mouth your mother. My mother is a very long way away from here. She's alive and well. Where are they? Where are they? Hi, sorry, sorry, we had to perform.

I realized that was not stealthy, and we made, definitely, instead of not bringing attention to ourselves, we, or wait, yes, we brought attention to ourselves. That was what we wanted to not do. As they roll up, Orym shoots Dorian, the kind of look that a spouse gives to a spouse. Sorry, I gave him the lead and this is what happened.

Don't be mad at him. Look, your disguise is man bun and your disguise is flute player. I think we go under the assumption that we have been clocked by multiple people. So just stay quiet, but be ready. I've got to admit, so man bun and flute player is pretty good.

Another spinoff. That's what I was thinking. Did I mess up? It was a great idea. I think that it just suffered from too many additional layers. I think the core idea was strong. Okay.

Dorian, give me a perception check. Shit. I take off the shoulders. One plus. You come back. That's one less. No, you have three points. I know.

Much more subtle. You 100%, how many is that? That's a lot of ones in one game. Oh my god. Get them out now. Switch them out, switch them out. So good. Switch it out. And the rest of you have previously rolled so bad

that none of you heard it, but you feel it, Fearne, as a tiny little dart sticks in the back of your tricep. Shit. Oh! Oh, uh-oh. Please make a constitution saving throw for me. I feel like darts are never good. Uh-oh, what a...

Uh-oh. Is this a spell or a magical effect? Nope. Okay. That would be a 10 total. You feel your heartbeat quicken as you are poked by this tiny thing. You only take one point of damage, but as your heartbeat quickens, you feel different.

And you have that sort of vertigo pan. You are now suffering from the poison condition. Whoa. Okay. Where'd it hit your body? We also, question, side note, do we still have not? You've rested off all of your exhaustion. We did. Yeah.

Are we up to max? Yeah. Okay, okay. You've had a few days travels back and forth. That's right, that's right. You had some days travel and you were allowed to rest as long as you needed to, to not be like sick and hacking on the road. I forgot to ask that point.

Sorry, I meant to say that. It's been hacking on the road. I forgot to ask that point. Sorry, I meant to say that. No, I've- It's been an amount of time. It's been a little time. It can't be. Okay. But it's okay. Now you're poisoned all over again, which is so exciting. Ah, yay!

I feel a little bit funny. Immediately case the space around us for where that may have come from. Yeah, I'm squatting a little lower even than I normally am. Sweet, give me perception checks, or investigation, whichever one you're better at. All of us, or just them?

Yeah, no, all of you are on high alert. Terrible. Ooh. Oh, for fuck's sake. Use my inspiration. Yeah, good call. Oh, I have inspiration, too. 14. Oh, yeah. Shit. Goddamn it.

That's a 10. 20. Damn, yeah. Shit. Goddamn it. That's a 10. 20. Damn, okay. Both Dariax and Dorian, you see a hand dropping and a cloak closing, and you make eye contact with a person wearing a deep black hood and robes as they look at you and then look over at Fearne and then slink back into the shadows. How far away is this person?

Probably like 40 feet. Ooh, 40 feet. And are we intermingled with the crowd at this point? Yeah, we're back in the crowd. And I'm sorry, I'm going to give you some extra info. With that 20, with the dirty 20, you see that they looked off and made eye contact with someone back in the crowd, and I'm sorry, I'm going to give you some extra info. With that 20, with the dirty 20, you see that they looked off and made eye contact with someone else in the crowd

as they slunk back to go away. They are not alone. No more fun and games. We have to move. And I'm going to go straight to Fearne, since she's the biggest draw of all of us beside our pop star friend here. Did I see her get poked?

Yeah, you're all aware of it. I think you turned and said something, yeah? I did. I kind of want to put my arm around her and bring her down into me and make her duck down into the crowd and also help her at the same time. Okay, how do you want to help her?

Just by giving her support. I see that she's feeling woozy, so I want to support her, but also duck her away from possibly getting poked again. Okay. Thank you. Come on. What do we do? I think we just, jeez, I don't know.

Should we go for the shop, or should we go get the things? We should go to Gilmore's. Let's just beeline it. Yeah, we have to move. Okay, let's go. Okay. Making a break for it, are you trying to... I want you to roll for this.

So I want you to tell me what you're trying to do. Are you just trying to get there as fast as possible? Are you trying to get there sneakily as possible? What do you want to accomplish? I think we're going to... I recommend we stick to crowds and Orym's going to try to like wield, weave us through groups that are there.

No empty, open holes of the crowd. try to weave us through groups that are there. No empty, open holes of the crowd. Okay, then give me stealth checks, everyone. Come on, man. Okay. 16. Rollin' balls. Sweet. You already have disadvantage on stealth,

so that doesn't really affect you very much. Should I get disadvantage for my illusion? Or I may, actually, given the circumstances, if we're following your lead, I'm going to go ahead and drop the illusion. Ooh, okay. And just. Yeah, perfect, then you're good. Okay. 18.

Nice. Nice. Okay. 11. My inspiration. Yeah, use it. I can't give it to you again until you use it. Stealth? Yep. Seven. Oop. 16.

12. Okay. You are struggling a little bit, being as sneaky as you want to be, because you are trying to bring someone that's a little bit taller, I think, than you are, kind of down and sneaky. I'm sorry, I don't know. Thanks. Relative height, that's okay.

How tall are you? I think of 6'1", but you've got horns and- I'm I'm sorry, I don't know. Relative height. How tall are you? I think of 6'1", but you've got horns and... I'm just about that, yeah, probably. Okay. Yeah, thank you. Sweet. So you're weaving in through the crowds. Very good call.

As you're going through, you can hear in the distance behind you, like, you're staying to crowds and these are busy streets on, like, a busy day. And you can still hear, even above the din of just normal doing business, that sort of, like, jostling of people probably 20 feet behind you

as people are trying to stay with you. They don't have a clear shot, so there's nothing coming for you. But yes, you haven't lost your tail at all, but they're not openly attacking. I need, it's got to be Opal. Mom, go ahead and give me a survival check to get those directions right.

That's a 12. You heard two. Yeah, Nancy, did you remember what they said? Go ahead and roll with advantage if Nancy assists in navigation. Sure. Oh, for fuck's sake. That's still, what did I say? 12. That was still 12.

I mean, this was worse, so 12. You're going, like, the problem here is you remember the exact right streets, but you know that occasionally turning left would give you an empty alley. She was trying to give you shortcuts, and because you are staying to busy crowds, you get a little turned around,

and it's going to take you probably 20, 25 minutes to make your way through the crowds, but eventually you spot it, like the fluttering of blue and purple banners in the noonday sun, and you have a very good idea that you've made it. I think we've made it. Why don't we overshoot it and turn into an alley

and turn around and deal with whatever's following us? I don't think we should drag this into the shop. It's not on his head. I like that. All right. Okay. Yeah. After 20 minutes, how fucked up is Fearne at this point? The poison condition remains, but she's not worsening. She's not worse. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Okay, so I'm going to push two city blocks past this place and keep an eye for any thin little alley and hook in. Yeah, you're able to find just between two tall tenement buildings, a very deep, super shadowy alley that you guys can duck into. Probably three or four people wide.

It's pretty narrow. Find a spot, get down. Either they pass us or we're doing something here. I'm gonna let them go a little deeper in and I'm gonna take up position behind like a little box at the entrance of the alley. So if there's an entrance, I'm gonna be on point, but hidden. I'll stay up there with you, other side of the alley.

Okay. Beautiful. Okay, give me one more round of stealth checks to see if you can shake your tail when you duck into the alley. Oh, you mother! Good, bad. Opal. Bounce bounce. 30, 20.

Ooh. Oh, nice. 11. Okay. Eight. 15. I'm so little. Just so nice. 11. Okay. Eight. 15. I'm so little. I'm Nancy. Nancy!

You guys. The hair is poking out. It's the tips! It's like the little, it's the box with the plume. It's like a little wheatgrass dot. Yep. Yes! That's what it is. Like the tennis ball poking out of the middle of the grass. Yeah. Yes.

Teal wheatgrass. Yes! That's what it is. Like the tennis ball poking out of the middle of the grass? Yes. Teal wheat grass. You duck in around the corner, and as you all just wait, holding your breath, to hear, you hear three sets of footsteps come up, and they slow down and stop just before the alley. And they're going to turn in your direction. If you are, oh, go ahead.

I was thinking, this is happening because the cloak, it's at will. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and transform myself into an extremely grody-looking, just an older dwarf individual. Like, we're looking like a man, probably in his later years,

big scraggly beard, wearing completely soiled robes and a hood. He's just been really down on his luck for a long time. He belongs in this alley. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to step out of my very high stealth role and just start coughing.

Oh. They stop and they turn and they all look at you. And one hooded figure comes up to you and gives you a little push. Hey, keep your hands off me. Unless you're going to pay for it. Old-timer. You know what? I can offer you some coin.

Have you seen an interesting group of five people come down this way? Oh. Well, there's been a lot of people coming through around these parts. You have to be a little more specific. And you see he turns and looks over his shoulder, and they exchange a quick look,

and he turns and pulls three silver, drops it into your hands. Younger dwarf, human girl, some kind of big satyr, little guy, J'Nasi. Yeah, yeah, I just ran through here. Hit me in the shoulder, a bunch of ingrates. Ran down and climbed up to that roof that way. Saw him disappear over the ledge.

Make a deception check with advantage. Sorry. Come on, you slippery bastard. Thank god for the advantage, can I roll the natural one? Oh my god! Joke! But with that.

I love that you have that cloak. Dirty 20. Love it. The dirty 20. The figure nods and they look down the alley. And if they had walked in a little further, they would pass the boxes and see you all there hiding. But they look and then lean

and start conferring between themselves. They go, okay, we can catch them on the other side of the building. And they all three turn and back out of the alley. Nice to be a patronage! One of them just spits in your direction and then runs off and away, and they all leave. Outside the alley, right? They double back out.

Yeah, they double back out of the alley and they're trying to catch where they think you're going by going around, like block and a block. Once they leave, I'm going to reveal myself and look at Dariax and go, now that's a distraction. Ha ha. That was amazing.

Not really all that great at killing, stabbing, or stealing, but I'm real good at convincing people otherwise. Maybe you should be an actor, like a traveling actor. I don't know, I've hung out with a lot of actors and they're kind of terrible people. I've heard that, too. The few that I've met, I just hate them. During that whole conversation,

Orym crept to the edge and looked both ways to watch them go, and then has looked the other way and is looking for anybody, backup or anything. Smart. Perception check with advantage. Thank you. That is a 22. You see a person on the roofs that was following this little trio.

They're kind of peeking out and away, a crossbow leveled, then they drop it in order to try to go and catch up. They move, too. Yeah. It takes them another minute or so to move, though. So I just throw up a, they're still talking. It's fine. Yeah. You've got time. That was old Jerry, one of my drinking bros

back over in Stilvan. I thought it must be somebody that you know, because it was just so convincing. They say the best characters are bad impressions. I'm bad at impressions, so it works out great. The sniper leaves. Psst! Oh.

Let's go, come on. Back to the shop. I can't wait to meet the Sean. Me, too. Is this alley that we're in, is the adjoining the shop? No, you guys went a couple blocks past it. We overshot it. Yeah.

To not draw attention to the place. Cool. And then carefully tread back towards the store. Yeah. You guys come back around. You're once again in crowds, so you're able to make your way and you get to it. You find yourself sort of in front of a single story building that's draped

with these bright blue, unbleached by the sun, blue and purple banners that sort of just flutter in the breeze. And at the center of this elaborately carved marble and wood frontispiece, you actually see the words, Gilmore's Glorious Goods, carved into it. Most of you see it in Common, but if any of you have a different first language,

you see it written there in that language. And all of that is above a beaded entrance. Halfling shop. It's a sylvan shop. Wonder what the inside's like. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You move inside and you see not one, but three stories. It's much bigger on the inside

of a lavishly appointed storefront there's like velvet walls with murals of flowers and the walls themselves actually smell like lilac and jasmine and gardenia and there's like these like plush satin settee benches that are like flanking the outside and you see that this place is like three stories full to bursting of like items that are both like mundane and magical. You see rows of potions, you see like racks of weapons and like a lot of clothing, a lot of clothing. Oh, my God. And in between all of these aisles, you see like these little purple clad clerks kind of bopping around and following and assisting like the dozen or so patrons of this place. At the very front, you see a woman sitting behind

this massive, ornately carved teak desk to check out. She's a tawny little half-elf with oversized glasses that's just reading a book. And you are inside Gilmore's Glorious Goods. I saw that look and it made my heart just a little bit. What do you want to do? I just start crying. Well, Opal's never, she has no context.

She's never been in this, a store like this before. It's just sensory overload. She's rubbing herself on the wall. They haven't had showers in a while. And just picking up an armful of clothes. As you hug the clothes, you just hear a little and you look over and see this very ruddy, gnomish woman with bright red,

she's bright red at the cheeks and elbows and at her hands, and she's got lavender wavy hair, and she goes, Please, don't hug the merchandise unless, would you like to try any of it? Yes, I would. Okay. Oh, okay.

And she takes whatever you were grabbing and puts in a little purple basket that she's holding. So great. My name is Inanna. If there's anything I could get for you, or- Nanna? Inanna. Inanna. Oh, I love that.

I'm Opal. So nice to meet you. If there's anything you need from me, I am here to assist you. Yes. Maybe this in, do you have this in pink? I can go check the back. Before we get too heavily into some shopping, we can get to that. I'm not talking about to discuss based on the friend of our friend. It's a long story.

Is Sean Gilmore in? Oh, Mr. Gilmore is, unfortunately, he's in Marquette dealing with one of the other franchises. Shit. Right now. Oh. Well, it's worth a shot. Well, we should still, is there anyone here who could be able to get in touch with him or speak on his behalf? It's rather urgent.

It's beyond shopping. Make a persuasion check for me. Okay. 17. Mr. Gilmore is a very popular man and lots of people want to talk to him. I don't... I'll let you speak to my manager.

And she does a little bit of that, like she was going to grab and usher you in. She goes, if you'll follow me. Yeah. Great. Don't forget the pink. Do you guys have any spears, by the way? There's a whole section over. I can take you that too.

I'll wait while you speak. After. We'll do all that. Well, we can wait. And she leads you back up to the front where that tawny half-elf was sitting. And as she sort of deposits you there, Inanna swings off to the side

and just waits patiently. And you see her rearranging the cloaks that you had picked up and making a little note to herself in a ledger about looking for pink ones in the back. And this half-elf does not look up. I take a couple steps back so that she can see me over the large desk that she's at. Great call.

Hi, sorry to intrude on your time. We had come here looking for the proprietor, but since he's not here, we were told we could talk to you, perhaps? Mr. Gilmore isn't in? My name is Sherry, how can I help you? Well, my friends and I have traveled from a little bit outside of the city. We've just come from the Fire Ashari

and camped off in the distance. You guys are probably aware? Hmm. I would guess. And she actually sort of subtly closes the book and readjusts her posture. You now have her attention. The Ashari there, Lorkathar in particular, who heads up that particular group,

we're hoping that Mr. Gilmore would be able to help with an issue they're having there. There's a- Something doesn't look right with their asshole. I don't know what that could possibly mean. Technically true. They're having a bit of an elemental issue and trouble deciphering runes.

And they're thinking of starting a franchise. There. In the ash hole. It's like a destination and... I didn't hear that part of the conversation. There. In the ash hole. It's like a destination and... I didn't hear that part of the conversation. They who? They want to start a franchise of the store

and they need to talk to the big boss about it. Look, if you're just a bunch of would-be adventurers here to ogle at Mr. Gilmore. He is not available, but I'll let him know. Well, we are would-be adventurers. You've got us dead to rights, but the Ashari out there really are having a tough time of it,

and I know they've been helping out in the city. And I have some idea of Mr. Gilmore's stature in the city, and I think he would care. That's probably presumptuous of me, but I do. So if you could just pass on the message. Yeah. It's apparently a pretty dangerous looking rune thing. And they said he'd be the one to know something about it

if anybody did. They've made a big mountain out of nowhere. It seems pretty dangerous. And she sort of slides off of her chair and turns and consults one of the massive volumes behind her, like on these shelves and pulls out like a big green leather bound tome, slaps it on the desk in front of her

and just opens it up to the center and you see a bunch of runes. Describe what the rune looks like. I feel like Opal drew it out right. Yes. We can do you one better. And who had it? I have it.

You have it. I drew it. Show it. Pulls out a thing. Show me. Oh, oh, sure. Mine work. Yeah. Hey. Show me. Oh, oh, sure. My mark. And she snatches it out of your hand

and then starts flipping through massive sections of the book, and she takes a solid 10 minutes looking through. None of this matches anything in my books. Maybe. I will say this once and only once. If you are wasting Mr. Gilmore's time, I'm worse than he is.

What's he like? And she slides off of the chair once more and you see her crossing the room. As she begins to cross the room, she looks over her shoulder at all of you to see if you follow or not. Yeah. To follow.

You go up to the second floor, where you see a bunch of scattered, strange, magical artifacts. A lot of them are on fire or bubbling or stirring. It's lots of kinetic motion here. And she walks over to a burning red candle with a red flame, and she pulls out and produces a small sheet of paper and whips out this massive feather.

It's this big, ostentatious purple feather with a gold nib that is honestly kind of embarrassing in her hand. Opal loves it. She sees that you like it and just writes out a little message and holds it over the candle where it immolates. And then she takes a step back

and looks up to the third floor. And after about 30 seconds, you all more, less than hear, but more just sort of feel like a pulse as something extremely magical happens over your head. And then you see over the railing a man with bronze

skin, dark black hair pulled back into a ponytail, like a really cool long black beard that's like braided with like little gold beads in it that end at like a small amethyst coin tied to the very end. Ample, he's jolly.

He's in his late 60s, but fine as hell. And he leans over and goes, You called for me. What do you need? Are these them? And Sherry just gives a little, You can take it from here. She gives you all a very dirty look

and then looks at you. Right. You have music instruments on your person, yes? Like visible? Yeah. I have my lutes on my back and did you ever give him my flute back or do you still have it?

Yeah. Oh no! I feel around with it, give her a look. Okay, but yeah, I've got my loot on my back. You never give ferns some, because you're probably not going to get any. Yay! Deep in that fern somewhere right now.

Yep. And Sherry looks at you, clocks the loot on your back, and takes a little jump back. She's, are you a bard? Yes. Newly acquired job, but yes. And you see her go a little flushed red at the cheeks and the throat and at the tip of her ears.

I'll leave you to it. She just takes off, lost in her own memory of something long ago and scurries away. And Ed Gilmore's booming voice comes back down again. Well, come up here. You called me from Marquette. Come on. Is that, do we know him? None of us know him.

Do you want to make a history check to see if you've heard of him? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. History check. We just met like Jesus Santa Claus Rockstar. I want to know if history check to see if he's hurt? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. History check. We just met like Jesus Santa Claus Rockstar. I want to know if I know him. I know, though.

You said history? Yes. 14. Five. 15. Seven. 16, baby. 23.

Whoa! Of course you know, Sean. I want to flirt with Mr. Gilmore! Everyone but Fearne and Dorian, you've heard of Gilmore. Sean Gilmore is heralded as one of the great heroes of the generation before you in stories about dangers in Emon, the chroma conclave the battles of vox

machina his name is inexorably there tied to all of it and then even when vox machina moved on and they kind of split up and some went to whitestone and some went back to the ashari and as they all went their separate ways gilmore stayed in immon. He helped rebuild it. And he is a very important part of the city. Who got over a 20? You've heard in your time here rumors that not only is Gilmore a wildly successful merchant, but potentially one of the secret council members of Emon. Hmm.

So we trundle up to the third floor where he is. Wait, like on the Tal'Dorei Council? Correct. Do we already know this? No. No. We don't know anything. We're stupid. Just spilled the tea. Oh shit! I'm the DM! I get to say things and they're true!

I just got goosebumps. I was like, wait! Yeah. Opal like, sprints herself with her perfume. She grabbed a fur from downstairs, puts it on. And as we're walking up, I'm going to go over to Orym, because I feel like he's got this sense of recognition. Yeah. Orym, is that?

He's kind of a BFD here. The guy? That's our man. The Gilmore guy? Mm-hmm. Wow. He's legendary. He's legendary. He's beautiful. He's so hot.

Thank you, my dear. And you have excellent taste. Ah! And you're like, Oh! And he 100% does not drop a beat. Kisses your hand. Harder. Your hair is lovely.

As are all of you. What could have possibly pulled me from my business abroad? What is this, lovely young people? Mr. Gilmore, he says as he stands there, could have possibly pulled me from my business abroad. What is this, lovely young people? Mr. Gilmore, he says, as he starts pulling the tufts of green out of his own hair. Oh, that's a nightmare.

And you see he waves his hand, and his eyes, they're deep and brown and rich, but they seem to be reflecting a bright violet glow that you don't see anywhere in the room. And it flares up a little bit as he just sort of moves his fingers and prestidigitates and the hair all disappears before it even hits the ground. Much appreciated.

Nightmare, hour-long nightmare, now over. The things we do for beauty. We try. It's an honor, quite frankly, to meet you, sir. Thank you. You have me at a disadvantage. Why? You know my name, and I have no idea

who any of you are. Oh, no, no, us. Right, right, yeah, no, you should totally do that. Well, I'm Orym. My name is Orym of the Air Ashari. Pleasure. I'm Opal of Byroden. It's a small town. Far away. And it's lovely.

You've been. I've been everywhere. He's been. He's been. Hey, I'm Dariax. Just lay about. I have a mind. Not much to talk about, but happy to be in here. This place is beautiful. I haven't stepped in. I honestly looked a little out of my price range, so it's nice to actually see from the inside.

And you are, well, the words don't do you justice. Flattery will get you literally everywhere. Thank you. And you. Ah, and you. Hello, my name is Fearne Calloway, and I'm from the Feywild. Yes, you are. Interesting. Dorian's also swept up in his presence

and stammers a little and he goes, I'm a bra- Dorian! Dorian Storm. Nice to meet you. Insight check. Yeah. That's on you, so hold up.

Ooh. 18. Ooh. That's totally freaking him out. I'm going to say, oof. Let's call this, I'm going to say this is an opposed insight check to see it just roll inside. Roll against it? Yeah. Okay.

18. Plus one, 19. Oh! Just by one! Oh, man! You caught something there, but in the amount of time that it takes Gilmore to effusively say something nice in your direction, you regain yourself and there's nothing to be caught.

But you know, there was a little slip there. Something. Yeah. Well, Sherry, my guard dog, would not have summoned me for nothing. Orym of the Ereshar, yes? We, well, we found this really strange ash hole, is what we've been calling it.

And there was a large rune on it that none of us have been able to decipher. You know the Fire Ashari who've been helping in town? Yes, I consider Logotha a good friend. She sent us. Oh. Oh, we should have led with that, actually. Yeah.

We should also have maybe led with the fact that this rune was on the top of a giant plateau covered in an ash storm that wasn't there a couple days ago. Yeah, it just erupted out of the earth and we- Wait, the rune did? No, New Mountain. Brand New Mountain. Mesa, to be exact.

Rune on top. And he sweeps past you to the edge of the railing and yells down, Sherry, was there an earthquake? And she looks up, pushes her glasses so slowly, just gives a little nod. I love Sherry. Yeah. It's been a while.

Goes back to her book. He sweeps around in his robe, sort of billow and move, and then they settle and he goes, Well, that confirms it. A new plateau with a massive runic ash hole on it is deserving of my attention. Oh! Oh my god. Oh, oh!

Are you, do you? It's been a day. Huh. And it's only 11 o'clock. Yeah, someone shot a poison dart at me. Yeah, we should probably look at that. I'm sorry, what? You, once again, burying the lead here. I've, yeah.

I don't know why, we were just outside. I think someone's, I think someone's probably after us. It's been a rowdy party recently. People have been crazy in the streets, but we've probably been followed. I tied someone up. We should also mention we murdered many people

and might have made mortal enemies with the Thieves' Guild. Anyway, I have a picture of the ash hole. Murder's a strong word. We've done so much. It's a strong word. When you break it down like that, holy moly. I can't say we don't get stuff done, I guess, as a group, but. That's true.

Does the name, the Nameless Ones mean anything to you? It's funny when you put it that way, because. Make an insight check. He micro-expresses and then regains himself. It's really low. I'll give you advantage if you give me a good reason. I know how connected he is to the history of this city.

And he micro-expresses and catches you watching him in that moment. And instead of fully regaining it, he lets the concern sit and stay and drops the facade of carelessness. What'd you get on the second roll? Total of 13. The 13 kind of nods. The 13 kind of nods.

First things first. May I do magic on you? Consent's a weird thing with spells, but I can have you taken care of. I always have my full consent. Okay. And you see a little purple sigil begins to light up in his forehead

and his eyes flare again with that violet light and his fingertips, especially like right at the edge of the nail, begin to glow purple and he casts Lesser Restoration on you. So you are wiped of the poison condition. And as the glow sort of goes down, the sigil in his forehead remains

and the glow in his pupils remain. Wow. Okay. Rune or Nameless Ones first? I think we should start at the beginning. This feels like it's going to be a long story. It's a short story with complex parts. I'm an old man and I'm not going to stand.

And he turns and walks through a beaded curtain. I love him. I love him so much! And when you follow him through this wide, red, beaded curtain, he's sitting. Through the beaded curtain, even? Yeah! Hey!

There's a big, tufted area, and he's sitting behind this giant, backed chair that's red with mahogany and just the most, it's the most, it smells like incense in here, and there's a beautiful silver tea service in the most. It's the most. It smells like incense in here, and there's a beautiful silver tea service in the center. Is there anything I can? Sit, sit. Now explain.

In the interest of time, Orym, with the help of everyone, recounts the party, the crater. At the party, he just says, Oh, that ended a few days ago. Big fire in the area. Do we know about the fire?

We should mention, we've been companions for a few weeks now, but there are pieces that are missing. Right. Yeah. Well, the Namelsons were talking about taking care of the houses of lords and individuals that were maybe pushing to that district. Maybe the fire is in. Did we lose?

We should check on Lothar's home, just in case. We did kind of renege pretty hard on that agreement. Agreement with? case. We did kind of renege pretty hard on that agreement. Agreement with? Oh, there was a lady named Poska, who's from the nameless one folk. Seemed dangerous, she made a deal. That's how the people got killed, murdered. Not really.

It was less of an agreement and more of an opportunity that was presented to us that we took upon a different route. A moral high ground. With murder. Yay! We kind of just kept tripping into trouble for a couple of days. We've lost, collectively, some memories.

We've made some. Yes. Today included. And forgot to even mention that we found something that I'm pretty confident we should talk to you about as well. I was going to ask everybody if we should, yeah. We've been offered a music deal. Congratulations.

At the Black Swan. But I don't know how I feel about this Edwardi guy. He's a little... Big, dark tiefling? Yeah, he's very touchy-feely. Like, didn't ask first. He is that way. He's a little weird. He's very good. Good business head.

Right. Falls in love easy. As the story progresses, Opal just gets closer and closer to Mr. Gilmore, just sitting at his feet, just total admiration. Not going to say I'm not enjoying this. Hmm? You really been there before, to my town? Oh.

It's well-named. It's by the road. So yes, we stopped through on our ways. East, I've been all over Tal'Dorei. All over. So Sherry, is Sherry your wife or something? Oh! No, she is not.

Bless her heart, but I unfortunately am married. Did you say, wait, you said you're, you are, what did you just say, you're married? I'm married, yes. My husband is following, continuing my affairs in Marquet. Do you know Darius? No.

He's lovely. I hope if you don't die from whatever you're caught up in, you have the opportunity to meet him. Speaking of which, so Party Crater accidentally got entangled with the Nameless Ones, unintentionally. Fights were had.

Were you involved in the boat incident down at the harbor? Oh yeah, yes. Oh, you heard about this. I look to Dariax for all things thievery considered, and I give him a look, and I also want to express, continue to express my reluctance at talking about this item that we possess. Actually, this is a valid question.

Has my entirely black eyes faded at this point? Oh my god. No. They have not. No. They absolutely have not. I was like, yeah. He's trying not to be judgmental. Opal cannot control herself around this man.

She will tell him anything he wants to know. So like, if you guys want to keep her away from him, if you want to keep anything secret. It doesn't matter what any of you want, because Orym knows the character of this man. Yes. And says, take the crown out.

Take it out. Oh. Take it out. Go on, Dariax. Take it out. Oh my goodness. Go ahead and kind of unwrap and kind of hold the crown out with my hand. Oh shit.

And you see his hands go out and like a purple shadowy mage hand goes out and grabs the crown from you. And his eyes stay locked with yours. So you were touching it. Oh my god, I forgot. Well, yeah, I mean, like, that's how you move things.

But what's weird is, when he touched it, his eyes just stayed that color. That would happen. Wait, what happened? When he touched it, his eyes just stayed that color. That would happen, yes. It would happen? You just, I figured, I figured maybe that's just something that you do, but. Daria, have you looked in a mirror in the last three days? Your eyes are blocked.

I turn him towards a mirror in the room. Yeah! You know he has several mirrors. A full-length mirror in the room. Yeah! You know he has several mirrors. A full-length mirror in the room. Yep. Sorry. And you look in the mirror at Dariax. No, no, no, you don't have to roll for this.

As you see yourself and you see your full black eyes and you see the reflection of your friends and you see a single spider skitters out across every person's face. You see it kind of crawl out of Gilmore's slightly agape mouth and crawls down into his beard and disappears behind the little amethyst at the bottom. You see it crawling out of Fern's ear and across her nose. You see it coming out of Opal's nostril, getting lost in her hair. It comes out of everyone,

and only you are aware of it. They seem to not notice. Looking in the mirror, which is the first time he's looked in the mirror in a while, I'd say. He doesn't focus too much on this. He's like a, all right, so. Last I checked, they were just like a nice brown,

like a nice dreamy brown color. Now they're just this. That's a little weird. It's a little strange, it's kind of cool in some ways, but yeah, I can see it being a problem. Also, you got a lot of, you got an infestation issue going around here. It's a lot of,

don't want to make it weird, but the, He checks his beard. Gilmore looks the most concerned immediately. Checks himself. I'm fine. What? I'm perfectly put together. I don't know what he's talking about.

Are you okay? Yeah. Ah, the feel! I was going to say something. He's been creeping us out for a couple of days. I just let it happen. Yes, he said it, he said the thing. Covering spiders, everyone's covering spiders.

There's just spiders all over the place. Oh my god, where? Right there, right there, right there! Ah! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it! Get it! Ah! Make an attack roll.

Oh fuck. That would be eight. He just smacks you on the shoulder. There was nothing there. Well, there was nothing there. This is not my fur. This is not. Yeah. Are there spiders all around?

No. There was a second ago. I meant to tell you, but I forgot. Have you put the crown on? No, should I? No, no, no, no. And he takes the sort of Maytan and puts it behind his back and just readjusts himself to try to keep it out of your eyeline.

I know this is going to sound like bullshit, but we really just kind of lucked, unlucked. It was an accident. We were trying to back out of a bad situation with these guys, ended up on that boat, found that,

knew that it was better not to leave it for someone else to have. And then we've just been looking, I've been looking for somebody trustworthy to dump it on, and that person might be you. Opal had a vision about the crown. You know, it was the first time I ever saw the ocean.

Aw, that's nice. Your eyes are kind of like the ocean. Oh my god, you are just the most, and he leans in and gets on your eye level and is just lost in you right now. I love everything that's happening here. This is great. You want to hear about my vision?

I would love. And he grabs your hands and takes it into his and his hands are soft and warm. Opal just starts sweating profusely from her palms. He clocks it and you see him just, it's fine. I would love to hear anything you'd be willing to tell me. Okay, well, there's the spider queen.

And it was really scary. But that's it. That's it. A spider queen. Did she just speak to you? And she had one, no, she had like one leg really close to my face and it was not cute, but that's it.

And he doesn't let go of your hand. He just like kind of opens it up to let air out a little bit. Just, you know, favors. No, you're fine. I have a sweaty palm. Hey, you're fine. It's all natural. This is a vestige of divergence,

one specifically attenuated to the Betrayer God known as the Spider Queen. This is a circlet of barbed vision. Now, the Spider Queen herself is dark, is evil, but the vestige is simply power. And it is whatever you make it into. Power simply is.

So, You all, I applaud your honesty in coming to me and trusting me with your truth. Anytime. I am happy to take the circlet off of your hands. It will be safe with me. But I do recognize that it is not mine to take from you. So what would you like to happen?

Trade. I can pay you. There we go. I will be happy to trade, let's call it 5,000 gold of store credit for the circle. Does that feel fair? Yeah. I think feel fair? Yeah. I think we should keep it.

What? I kind of want to keep it. I appreciate your offer, my friends do too, and I'm not speaking for you, I just think we should keep it. What are you going to do with it? It's turning everybody into black eyes. It means you won't grow up. What are you going to do with it? It's turning everybody into black eyes. It means you won't grow up.

What if you try it on? Just in front of Sean, and if something goes awry, you could probably help. I don't know why. If you love it so much, might as well keep it. It's not from me.

It's just we found it. Together. We did. And now I can find a bunch of cool things in here that we could have together. And, I mean, if I'm just going to be honest here, while it did make me feel sick, it's a little creepy. Not going to lie. And if we're trying to keep it safe, right? Like, away from bad people? I mean, we thought we were going to get jumped in the street 20 minutes ago, and we're carrying that thing around.

Yeah. By the Nameless Ones? Yes. A couple blocks away. Which, by the way, you heard about this boat thing you mentioned earlier, right? So was it like, caper storms the front of the water as the ship is beset by master thieves,

leaving nothing but destruction and mystery in their wake. Yeah, what did you hear? Yeah, that exactly. Heck yeah, I told you. There's nothing officially reported on the galleon from Issylra, but it is my job to know about these things. So I know. And the problem of Poska and her Nameless Ones

has been on my radar for quite some time. She is very dangerous, but I know you know that. Oh wow, I think we assumed she was lower level. Mm-mm. Was that Poska's ship? No, but the Vestige was bound to make its way to Tal'Dorei for research reasons further inland. What could Poska want with it?

It's a very powerful magical item. Which is why I would like to keep it. So, sorry. It's a very powerful magical item. Which is why I would like to keep it. So, sorry. The circlet was meant to go to where again? A friend of mine, a very powerful mage. For study and protection. Oh, so it will either go to your friend or we keep it?

Money hasn't changed hands. And the truth of the vestiges is that they go in some small way where they are meant to be. And I'm not here to pressure you either way. If you think that you are good stewards of this artifact, I will trust it with you. I think, I mean, I'm looking to Dorian and what Dorian's asking for,

and while I want to trust Gilmore, do I feel any sort of sinister undertones or anything that? Ooh, give me an insight check. Ooh! I'll give you advantage for just a very meta reason. The universe is bending inward. Yeah. That would be a 14.

There's nothing sinister to Gilmore, but he's seen a lot of things in his years. He's perfect. And he knows better than to get in the way of fate. And he doesn't necessarily trust you all to protect something that people would easily kill for, that things bigger than groups of people would kill for. But you see something in his smile, a little upturn that almost feels like warm recognition

of recognizing a pattern of something beginning again. And it's not malicious, but he's willing to see what happens. Hmm. Kind of look long and hard over at Dorian, and glance at the rest of the crew. You want to keep it? I want to keep it, but I can't carry it. Only you can.

But you can carry me. And he just laughs. Mr. Frodo. Mr. Frodo! But I can't carry you! That's not the accent. Oh, we'll not dwell on that. But if I'm the only one that wants to keep it, then. No, no, if you want to keep it, I want to keep it.

Okay. I mean, I also do want to keep it, too, because I'm just a little curious. Opal? I can offer you this. And he slowly gets up. He's a little thicker than we may have remembered him before.

He's lived a good life. I'm still holding his hand. Oh, yeah, he's going to let that go. He's standing up, you'm still holding his hand. Oh, yeah, he's going to let that go. He's standing up. Sliding five inches along. Yeah. Does his hair. Gets up and leaves back through the beaded curtains and

comes back two minutes later with essentially a wooden cigar box that looks like it's just enough for the circlet to fit in. And it's carved all over with, does anyone here speak Celestial? Nah.

Nah. Nah. Cool. With writing you don't recognize. I wonder what that says. It's a spell. And he's just flipping it around, this intense magic artifact, and offers it to you. If at any point the circlet becomes too much to bear,

put it in here and it'll come back to me. One trip, one chance. So you can either return the circlet or, you know, like times when you were available to grab a drink. May I ask you a question? Mm. You just let that roll right off of you and I'm kind of proud of it. Oh shit, I did!

No, it's totally fine. Am I that oblivious? Is Dorian that oblivious? You see him look in the mirror like, what? Oh, no, it's not me. It's him. Oh, damn it, Opal. Always falling for unavailable guys. I know it!

Oh man, business before sex, Dory. Yo, respect! Not for Gilmore. Yeah. A little bit of both. Sweet Allah. Keeps me young. Best ones are always taken.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nottoria's embarrassed. Oh, you're blushing. Like a blue man blush. Nice shade of purple. Purple. It matches the outfit, yeah. Actually, so merry.

You like seeing him play with his ring. Like, all right. Can I ask, does the box work both ways? Nope, I did say one way. So, so if we gave it to you and we wanted it back. You would have to come visit me at one of my many fine establishments.

So the box only goes one way. To him. It doesn't go both ways. Got to find the right box, anyway. Let me be completely clear. Maybe that's back. I am a powerful crafter of magical items, and my items go any way. This box just goes the one way, though.

We'll take the box. Opal's confused. Yeah! But nodding. Really pretend like she gets it. I like you all a lot. I'm just going to say that out loud. Hey, mutual.

Hey. Please spend money in my shop. I do have a question, though. Why is it that when some of us touch the circlet, we get sick? Is it just because it's... It's a vestige of an evil god. Oh. And those whose moral fortitudes

lean more in the upstanding and good direction would find little use for it. So if you don't get sick, what does that mean? That you're a terrible person. Oh. Nice. Okay. Don't get too caught up over who can and can't use it. Okay.

The gods are fickle and don't worry too much about what they have decided. Any person can or should be. You are what you would like to be. Well, to bring it back, do we want to do the crown thing? The box, we're good? We got the box?

Yeah, I took the box from you. Yeah, yeah, okay. All right. And did we take the crown as well? Oh, yes. You've been hiding it, yeah. I know it's been behind your back, this whole conversation. Clever, clever. And he uses Mage Hand to offer it back out to you.

I'm going to point it. Toss me the box? Is there something within? If you put it in the box. Oh, it goes immediately. It goes back to me. I misunderstood. You keep the box. I'll keep the box. You keep it in the purse. I'll just grab it out of the air. Please stop touching it with your hand.

I already did it. Was it worse or something? No. If he promises not to touch it with his hands again for a while, can you fix his creepiness? Are you just going to touch it again? No. And he just sighs. And you see the, no, don't worry about it.

He didn't believe you and he doesn't care. Yeah, I figured. Abria's like, mm-mm. My table. And he just sort of smirks. And behind his teeth, you actually see a bit of that violet glow and he says, fine.

And the word fine sort of resonates. You feel it hit your chest as something breaks away from you, and your eyes return to normal. And then you're holding it, and you see him straining, like, please just, thank god. God.

Much obliged. Mm-hmm. So the other thing. He's just, oh, thank god. God. Much obliged. So the other thing. Oh my god, I forgot there's more. We're going to need some food in here. Yes? Food! Oh, I do that. It works sometimes. I learned it from watching you.

I learned it from watching you! You see Inanna scurries up and pokes her head in through the beads. Can I help you? Mr. Gilmore said he was famished. And she looks over at Gilmore, and he shrugs, and she's like, I guess I'll go see what's in the back.

And she disappears again. There's no protocol for this. She works in the store, but she will find some sort of food and bring back whatever she can find. You old vending machine. Yeah, right? Vending machine feast.

Love that delayed K on the end of back. V, the back. That was the eluding, I will figure out a solution for this problem. Yep. So there's a new mountain. Yes. Oh my god, the Ash Bowl. With an ash hole.

And there's a, you got the thing? I got the thing, and also my sister took away my power. What? New thing, that's a new thing. We're going to put it in the queue. Okay. What are we doing? Let's deal with the rune.

And you see his hand was clear, especially after holding yours for a little bit, and he just flicks it, and the piece of paper that you handed him just reappears. And he opens it up and looks down. Oh. And you're sure this is what it looked like?

Mm-hmm. Do you recognize the language or the symbol? In a way. And he puts his hand over the sigil on his forehead and he begins to chant, and it's just ritual casting a very you all especially arcane casters in the group can kind of feel the pressure and smell the ozone of extremely high level casting happening and he's like summoning all these energies you don't see it go off in any

like meaningful way but in that time hit like the back of hand, another sigil forms, and as it moves over the one on his forehead, they mix together and make this incredibly detailed series of overlapping circles and vector lines. And though it is not the same as the rune that you saw on the mesa, it is of the same type, foreign and unrecognizable. And he releases the spell. I'm what they call a rune child. This is the kind of magic that was,

it's within me, but this magic is older than any tome that we have about it. And I hate to say that it's as foreign to me as it is to you. But I have a thought, if you are willing. There are some books downstairs guarded by Sherry, so don't go get them. You will pull back a dub.

That talk about a very old civilization in the south, lost in the jungles of the Rife and Mist Peninsula. Oh, that's close to me. Wait, where again? Where again? South of Byroden. South of Byroden. That's good, that's good. On Tal'Dorei, but off the map, as it were.

If you can find the ruins of the Cunyirah, if you can find something that could act as a translator, that old runic writing, the only thing I can imagine is that it's of that people, a culture that rose and fell years before the Calamity. They are ancient by the longest stretches of time that we understand. If you can find something within the ruins, I can translate it.

So the room we saw outside of Emon is that old? Yes. The people of the Quinceañera. He's going to touch the crown again. I understand that. Probably. No, I'm not. Don't you lie to me, you beautiful boy.

I'll try not to. Shuffling his feet. You let me know if and when that one attunes to it or other people. I'll be keeping track. This word, Kinera, that you said, the runes, is that something that? Make a history check. Anyone can make it if you want.

I'll make it, too. I'll make it two. I'll make it two because maybe I know something since I'm from close to there. Instant error, that's all I'm thinking about. I hate. Sorry. No. I hate that I didn't think of that

in the list of ways that this will be turned into something stupid. Look. If it's there, we'll find it. It's me after years of suffering under this to flex it back, and I'm sorry. My soul looks into yours, and I see you. My love language as well right now.

It's all good, yep. Yes, it's our love language to you. You got to pay it forward, Matt. Yep, pay it forward. It's all good. Opal's like, I had a quinceañera. For sure. For sure. 100%. Yes. All right, did anyone get over a 15?

Nope. Nope. 16. Anyone else? Just you? Wild. Opal. Now, it's not because you were in by Rodan, but you know what? Maybe you didn't care that much about school,

but despite your best efforts, some knowledge swam its way on into your brain. And when learning about ancient civilizations, maybe it is because of the proximity of Byroden to the vast, unknowable jungle of the Rife in Mist Peninsula, that yes, the Kynera, much like ancient Egyptians,

if we want to give it a good analog, a culture that was ancient even to other ancient civilizations that you heard of, that were wildly neutral about the sources of magic. They didn't care for the difference between good gods and betrayer gods wildly neutral about the sources of magic. They didn't care for the difference between good gods and betrayer gods, and nature, and humanoid rot magic.

They respected and honored it all. And were lost when the Calamity hit. That's all you know. That's a lot. Yeah. Wow. Well, my dad did try to hike in there and then didn't make it. He came back. He was scared.

Wait, but he made it back. Yeah, he made it back, naked and afraid. Wow. He was naked and very scared? Yeah. What made him afraid and what made him naked? I don't, this was before I was born. I also want to know the answer to this. You just keep going.

It's dangerous and a lurking jungle. Ah! You stay here, I'm going to go in the jungle. So many reveals today. That's how he met my mom. Does the jungle just rip off your clothes? I don't know, I just, yes. You know when people get really cold

and they get hot because they're so cold? So cold. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like science. The worst part is she's completely correct, but it's wild the way she's saying it. Okay!

Yeah. It's kind of the best part. Something's trickled into Opal's pearlescent brain. So I guess I tell them, she tells them that. Yep. Okay. And. That's impressive. Yeah. Impressive.

The Kunira? Mm-hmm. Kunira. With a Q, just because. With a Q, because? Because I hate you. Quneera? Find me a bit of their runic writing.

Hopefully with something a little more recognizable to help translate it. All right. And I will pay you dearly for this. You are doing a service to all of Tal'Dorei, but I understand that fledgling adventurers, if you don't mind me saying, require a bit more support in their early years.

Oh yeah, and we have no idea what we're doing. Oh god. Don't die no idea what we're doing. Oh god. Don't die. Nah, we're fine. Orym just stares at the box hanging off of Oh god. her axe's belt. I don't suppose you have any transport

you could recommend here in town? I have some friends. I think they can get you down at least as far as Byroden. That'd be excellent. And maybe if we could do that surreptitiously. That's right. You're trying to avoid Poska. Yeah.

Do you have maybe a cart we could hide in? Like full of hay or something? You know. If not hay, like niceions, some memory foam. I don't know. Do you want to come? I appreciate that you think. I am so old.

I don't want to. I had my mentors. It's nothing but a number. You're damn right about that. Make a persuasion check with advantage. Yes. Shoot. Man. Bring a level 20 character.

Oh. Yeah. I don't throw game balance off at all. Just murder it. That's my problem, not yours. 11. Look, my time, at least out there, I'm not saying that I'm about to die or anything.

I have decades of shenanigans left within me, but this level of roughing it is, it's for young folks. I don't feel like I'm that young. How old are you? I'm 112. Oh, you don't look a day over 20. What? You're 112?

Wow. I need to know your skin care regimen right now. Yeah, I live very long. Sorry, I'm going to focus, but I will be getting that from you before I leave. I can set you up with a cart, do my best to get you to the edge of town. They tend to not mess with me directly for reasons.

And maybe like young adventurers that need support discount on your wares? Make a persuasion check. Come on. Let's go. Ah, all right, all right. 22. Oh! Shopping spree!

Yeah, I was just like, I could never resist a pretty face, and I won't start today. Friends discount. Yeah! I'm sure you looted some nice Isildurian coin from that ship, and I would love to get it back from you. Was that your ship?

No, I just want you to spend money in my. Oh yeah, yeah, support local business. Let's go shopping! Yay, shopping! Let's go shopping. How much money did we get there? We had a bit. Platinum and split it.

Wait, we had a lot. Should we each have 125? You can treat that. 500 platinum. Yeah, you can treat that how you want. You can split it as 125 each. You can treat it as a group pot. That's on you. I think 125 each.

No, wait, my math is horrible. Why did I say that? 500 split five ways is just. Yeah, that's a point. It's 100. It's 100. 100 platinum. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm an idiot. It's all good. Bad math. Good try, though. I know, I tried. I was still five ways is just. Yeah, that's a point. Just 100. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm an idiot. It's all good. Bad math.

Good try, though. I know, I tried. I was still so confident with it. Yeah, respect. I'm eyeing this beautiful silver tea set that has been set in front of us. That's mine. Well, no, I just.

It's not for sale. I just think this is the most beautiful teacup I've ever seen, and I like to collect things. I was just going to steal it, but I thought I would be honest and tell you, may I have it? I was just going to steal it. That's really very nice of you. And, oh god, it's so adorable,

the way her ears lay down. You could take it. I can have it? Yes. Okay. But that means you have to come back and have tea with me. I will any time. I am looking incredibly forward to it.

Me too. Now go spend money outside of this room, because this is just my shit. Ah! You got it. That way. You got it. Noted, noted. All right. And as you are all unleashed on the store, we'll take our little break.

Yeah! I'm literally shopping right now. Yeah, I see you! We need to do a clothing montage with Opal to What a Girl Wants. Yep, yep. I was thinking that. A clothing montage with Opal to What a Girl Wants. Yeah. I was thinking that. Yes.

So as we prepare for our pretty woman montage. Yes. We'll take a little break. So we'll see you in a few minutes. Stick around. Greetings, adventurer. This is Liam O'Brien. If you'd like to support the show,

consider checking out our sweet, sweet Exandria Unlimited merch in the Critical Role shops. Links to all of our regional online stores can be found at critrole.com. Welcome back. Where we left off was deep in the sauce in Gilmore's Glorious Goods. You guys just had a wonderful conversation with Sean Gilmore himself, where you revealed some, but not all, of your secrets and resolved to keep the incredibly powerful, incredibly evil Vestige of Divergence. So that's just in your pocket or whatever, as you've been unleashed into a store. It's a shopping episode, y'all!

As you leave the Beaded Curtains, Inanna's standing there. She's holding just, it's not charcuterie. It is a Lunchable of sundry meats and crackers. It was the best she could do. And she just offers you. She brought it from home. Yeah, she's like,

this is for lunch, I'll get another one later. And is offering you tiny little napkins of it as you leave the beaded curtains and enter into the store proper. I'll take a handful of those dubious square American cheese slices. If they get hot, they don't. No.

What can I do for you? Are you done? Are you you? Are you done? Are you leaving? Are you? I found it in pink. Oh, I'll take it. I mean, I'll try it on. And she hands off.

This is a really pretty crushed velvet cloak in pink. But then she also found some matching little arm situation. Like a little dress. like a little mini dress. There's a whole outfit. She's like, you were in there for a while, so I just kept pulling things. Oh, it's so great. Okay, so is there anything I can do for any of you?

Are you shopping? Yeah, yeah. Do you wear shopping? Do you have a music section by any chance? Music? Like instruments? Oh yeah, that's on level two. CDs. Okay. And I'm a music section by any chance? Music? Like instruments? Oh yeah, that's on level two. Okay. And I'm going to walk up to level two and start.

Down. Down, oh. You're on the same level. Oh, okay. I'll start creeping the music section. Got to check the CDs. Yeah. Yeah.

My brain was like, I don't think that. What does that taste? Do you have any Jimmy Wilson? We're not for an era now, guys. Yeah. Oh man. Goody's got it. God, what is this?

How much for this pink fur coat? That would be... So the coat you're wearing, like there's, you describe what the coat looks like and I'll give you the price. Okay. Well, it is getting chilly out. It is. And all I have is a sateen coat.

It's not even satin. So I just, I think it's like a, kind of like a cropped situation. Not too much fur. Very warm. Sort of like a bolero, but long sleeve.

Yeah. That would be 10 gold. Add it to the bag. Oh, okay. Perfect. And she like writes in her little ledger, and you see a little puff of pink magical effect as she writes it down.

Okay. Thank you. Anything else? You see Diri actually jumping down on the floor just from place to place to pace. Oh, God. Figuring his stuff out. I'll catch up with him in a minute.

Is there anything I can do for either of you? Orym, Liam was laughing like fucking hell in the Gilmore section, but Orym kind of went quiet and just started listening and watching his friends. And coming out here, he is just,

all of this stuff confuses him. This is way beyond his ken, so he's, he gravitates to what, like what weaponry he sees in here and is just looking at swords, which look way too expensive for him, and armor and shields and stuff, and also looking at the group and just kind of watching and watching Dariax go by

and just looking at that thing hanging off his belt. Inanna kind of slides up next to you and she's a little bit shorter than you, being a gnome. And she gives you a little shoulder check. Do you want some water? Water? Sure, yeah, always. And she produces a little flask of it.

So here you go. You seem a little... It has that effect on people. It's been a couple of, oh, he's... Exceeds description. Is there anything I can do for you? It's okay if not. I'm not actually trying to. We don't get paid off of a commission or anything.

Orym sizes up a small shield on the wall with an eye engraved on it and dings it. Ding, ding. What's this? This is a sentinel shield. It's very good. It was actually made a couple of years ago by Gilmore himself.

Highly recommend. It's the last one of its kind in the store. Sure, sure. So you know it's going to, it'll go fast. There's other people looking at it. Can I afford it is the question. It's gorgeous. Well, this shield normally goes for 1,000 gold,

but Mr. Gilmore did say that you are given the friends and family discount, so 800. Deal. Okay. Thank you. Sweet. She reaches up. Can't quite reach it. She goes, hold, please. And runs back and then comes back with a big hook.

Right, I reach and I can't get it either. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actually, I'm wearing boots of Striding and Springing, so I leap and pull it off and then land and feel the weight of it. I put my hand in. It's a little heavier than my other one, but. Then I pull out the other one,

which has a lot of sentimental value. Can I ask you a favor? Okay. I guess the shop in general. This is such a weird request. Do you think you guys could hold onto this one for me? Oh, absolutely. You're a friend of Mr. Gilmore. Yeah, I'll take it for you.

I want it back. I don't have a home. But, you know, I mean to, but I don't have one. Anyway, I don't want to part with it, and I don't think I could carry two. Would you like, I don't know him super well myself, but if you are interested, I can ask Mr. Gilmore, do you want your shield enchanted with something?

And then maybe it could be like a trade thing. I don't know. I don't speak for, I just, I'm hourly, but I just, you look. Are you saying that you guys can make this do the same? Yeah, it's just like, he made that shield into a magic thing. He could make your shield into a magic thing. I gently prop the new one,

or the new-to-me one, just against the wall, gingerly. I mean, I don't know magic. If you can do that, that would be amazing. Oh, yeah. Actually, would you mind coming with me? Sure, sure. I don't want to carry both. That's the only reason. Hold on.

I pick it back up. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, follow me. All right, I start walking with two shields after. She sprints at a Dariax-level speed back up to the third floor, and then goes to Beaded Curtain and knocks on the wall.

Next. Mr. Gilmore, could you please, we could use your help with some quick enchantment. And while she's stammering quietly into the curtain, the beaded curtains, he pops his head through, two feet over her head and just looks down. You're back. What do you need?

Hi. I was looking at your wares down below. Wonderful. And this was recommended. And I'm a little torn, I have this one, which is, you know, it's from home. I understand. But we were talking about... I'm also sentimental, and I'm running out of time.

And he just grabs both, and doesn't wait for you to disengage your arm from either of them and drags you bodily through, and is going to take you over to a big, long table that has lots of different vials filled with different levels of powdered green rock, which I know you understand now is residuum. And residuum is a catalyst for enchanting magical items

and powerful magical effects. And he kind of looks at you and says, so you want this on your home shield, yes? Basically. Okay, I'm going to ring you up for- If I can afford it, I don't want to get in debt or anything. How much money do you have? Around 1,100 gold.

I could do it for 1,100. I could do it for a little cheaper. 800 gold. I'm at your discretion. And he gives you a little look and quirks his eyebrow, and then just gives a little sigh. You're a little green at this. Eventually, you'll learn to negotiate.

800 of this! And then pushes you out and away and starts dumping out residuum on the table and is getting to the work of enchanting your shield. All right, he just whistles away and goes to find some healing potions. Perfect. I'll step back for now.

All right. What are you up to, Dorian? So I've worked my way, I've just perusing all the levels I've spent. I got what I came from, from the music area, and I've been walking around, and I come back down, and I have an armful of just what looks like just random shit.

And I want to just sort of flump it all out onto the table. Do you want me to put it in a basket for you? Like you're just putting it on a table? I want to just sort of flump it all out onto the table. Do you want me to put it in a basket for you? Like you're just putting it on a table? If I can afford it all, I'll just throw it in my pack after I've bought it. Okay, well, what am I looking at? And she starts sorting through your stuff.

What'd you grab? I grabbed a half a dozen potions of healing. And then the garbage stuff is, I grabbed a bag of caltrops, I grabbed a bag of caltrops, I grabbed a bag of ball bearings, and I grabbed about half a dozen smoke grenades. And they all seem to be pretty cheap. Yeah. I was looking at them.

I also grabbed a pan flute from the instrument section. And, but the thing that stands out the most on the table and the thing that I'm sort of eyeing, if you'll notice, it's in the thing, is an immovable rod. Ooh. And she begins to tally in her head, which says, okay,

It could be. The normal items will come out to about 25 gold. Each one of the potions of healing that you grabbed are 250 gold for a total of 1500 gold, and the immovable rods another 1000 gold for a total of, what is that? 2,525 gold. Friend discount?

2,200 gold. Friend discount? 2,200 gold. Friend discount. Oh, I need to be super clear. I'm not your friend. All right. I start to look at my thing and I- Do you want to try to persuade her? You're going to have to try harder. The one that flirted with you has gone to work.

Yeah. Come on, baby blue. All right. Little boy blue. And it's... And I'm going to take my bun out a little bit. Sort of shake my ombre locks and say, is he nearby, by the way?

Do you say that out loud or are you asking me? I'm asking you. Oh, he's back on the third floor and you don't know what he's doing, but he's back in the room. You don't see him walking around. Sean! Please don't yell for my boss.

Sean! What is happening? Please stop! Sean, can you peek down here for a second? And you just see that Inanna begins to flop sweat and Sherry on the first floor is staring up at you with curiosity. And eventually, after about a minute, Sean, lightly sweaty, peeks out over the railing.

Hello? Hi, Sean. Do you remember when you- Gilmore. Sure. Gilmore. Mm-hmm. I'm so sorry. I was just swept away by your magnetism.

Do you remember when you said we could have a friend discount at the store? I have made everyone here abundantly clear what percentage of discount to give you. What was it again? The exact percentage. Why do you need to know? I'm broke.

Well, then maybe don't get six potions of healing. Do you get hurt that often? Yes. You might as well hire a cleric. All right. Thanks, Sean. Make a persuasion check. I'm giving up, though.

No, I know. There's a sad dog thing happening. It'd be pathetically adorable. Yeah. That would be 19. And as you are a little crestfallen, you hear a slight tinkle as he adjusts himself and the little bells on his robes and in his hair sway.

Inanna, knock off at least one of the potions. Thank you. I'm busy! He goes back in, continues to work. And Inanna is just staring daggers at you. Friend discount. 2,000 gold. I guess I, do I have it? How much is platinum again?

It's 10 to one. 10 to one. Yeah. So I only have 1,000. I only have 1,100 bucks. Damn. I am going to sheepishly... This is triggering for me. I've been poor before.

Oh my god. I've been in this scenario at the supermarket in college. I am going to embarrassingly scoot all but one of the potions of healing to the side, because I think that's, I think if the math is right, that's all I can afford. Yeah.

And as she goes to pick up the five that you left behind. Yeah, I'm sorry, I can hold. No! I've got it. And she puts two back down, and then gets up and runs away. And I'll... Notated! It's noted in the book.

And then she runs away from you. Orym quietly walks by and yoinks one of the discard potions, takes it to Kashia, ring it up. Theriac grabs the other and adds it to his pile of watching what Dorian's doing. That's. Then Eventually comes back over. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh god, why? There's two dozen objects, and he just pushes most of them away. All right, so. There's this cool circlet thing here. What's it do? Okay, hold on. And she grabs it and looks closely at it. A circlet thing here. What's it do? Okay, hold on. And she grabs it and looks closely at it.

A circlet of blasting? Okay, that's 1,000 gold. What else? All right, it's got these cool fingerless glove-looking things here. Got some cool shiny bits on them. What do you do? Those are gloves of thievery.

Those would probably be another 500 gold. 500, 500, all righty. And then there's, I found this weird glass vial thing, kind of reddish thing, kind of, I don't know, resonated when I walked by. What's that one do? Bloodwell vial. Sure.

Okay, that would be another 250 gold. 250, all right, all right. And you're holding a potion of healing that I was going to be putting away, yeah? Yeah, how much does this one be? So that would be 2,000 gold total. 1,000 gold total, oh. How about if I, and he reaches over

and grabs just a general spear, puts it on the counter. How about if I take just this normal, pretty sure it's normal, right? It's this magical spear. Well, that one's a plus one spear, but there's normal ones behind it. I'll take one of those. I mean.

And the gloves. Okay. And the v gloves. Okay. And the vial. Okay. How much we got? For a normal spear, gloves and the vial is 752 gold. With the discount, right? Okay.

For you, I could take off another like 150 gold. All right. Damn. 900 gold it is, you got it. So he goes ahead and counts out the platinum and the gold and passes it over. It's a pleasure doing business with you. Make a persuasion check for me. No, it's just a general charisma. No, let's make it a persuasion.

Okay, 14. She looks at you, just utterly bewildered. Okay, first thing, you don't pay me directly. You have to go to Sherry at the front. Oh, sorry. But also, hold on, hold on, hold on. And she pushes, you paid her too much. And she's like, 600.

You drive a hard bargain. Deal. What is hap-? Do you require an adult? Can someone else with, what's your name? Dariax. Can someone that's here with Dariax please assist him? Oh, I can come help. I'll go talk to him.

Oh, do you do fine. Okay, please help him. What do you need? So sweet. He's very sweet. You're very tall and very pretty. Thank you. Can I help with anything?

And then you help him. Oh, I'm still browsing. Okay. But I do have a question, actually. Do you have anything for pets? We carry collars and barding and food and snacks. Are you looking for anything for your... Oh, it's for your mummy, yeah?

This is little mister. Oh, hello, Mister. And she's only a little bit taller than Mister, and Mister does a little bow. You've taken the money that you made out of the hat, and he just kept the hat. So he has a two floppy hat over his head, and he takes it off.

Oh, sir. She goes, oh my goodness, he's so cute. He's very cute. What would you like for Mister? I'm assuming you don't want to mount and ride him, so I will say probably not barding. Maybe that's not what I want, actually. I forgot he already had a hat.

It's a very nice hat. I was thinking of getting a hat for him. Well, we have hats that would fit him. There's a ring that I'm looking at. There's a couple here. One of them, it's an unknown rarity. It's called Stonky's Ring.

Stonky? Yes. You heard me. I was eyeballing Stonky's Ring. Yeah, I was like, what is this? I was eyeballing Stonky's ring? Stonky? Yes. You heard me. I was eyeballing Stonky's ring. Yeah, I was like, what is this? I was eyeballing Stonky's ring. There's no, there's no, it just looks interesting. That is such an Ashley Johnson sounding ring.

Yeah. There's a Stonky. That's wild that it's just on there like that. I don't know what that is. And I was. And you pull it out and hand it to her, and she grabs it. I've never seen this before in my life. And you see that her eyes go over and cloud over with a misty pinkness

as she starts to identify it. She goes, Oh, okay, telekinesis with an interesting set of circumstances, but, um... God, those doe eyes are just very disarming. We didn't make this, but I'm very happy to sell it to you. How much is it? Oh boy.

600 gold? 600 gold, okay. And then I'm looking at this one here. It's the Ring of Truth-telling. Ring of Truth-telling. Did you just lick it? I did. Does it taste good?

No, wouldn't recommend it. Okay. It's electroplated, so whatever's underneath tastes pretty tellable. What was it? What was the second? The Ring of Truth-telling. All right. And then she holds it up.

Oh, okay. This is definitely one of ours. So this would be 500 gold. Okay, 500 gold. I feel like I should charge you more for Stonkeys, but honestly, probably someone just left it. But you know, if you walk out with it, you have a bill of sale.

That's our problem, not yours. We got any thieves' stalls? Yeah, on the first floor, up by the cash register, because everyone needs new ones. How much? For you, one gold. Damn. Got it. You're the best.

And whoever is standing next to her right now, you smell a little poof of bubblegum around her as she turns bright pink. Oh. Oh, not her. Okay, well, I'm definitely going to get the Ring of Truth-telling. Okay.

Stonky's Ring is interesting, but there's so much we don't know about it. But who cares? I mean, smoke them if you got them, you know? Okay, would anyone else like to go? Because I'm still browsing a bit. Excuse me, miss, is there anything else I can help you with? Oh, yeah.

And then Opal just dumps a bunch of stuff. Okay. Shopping, amazing. I'm not sure if I can afford all this. But okay, so we got the pink fur for 10. A potion of healing. 250. 250.

Is it reusable? No. I mean. 200 for friends. 175. Persuasion check. Is Dariax still standing by? Or not Dariax, oh my god, I did it to myself! Oh my god!

Yeah! Torture! Yeah! Torture! 13. You hate to see it. Am I close enough to hear her give the discount on the potions? Yeah. Oh, fuck that.

You snitched to her boss right away instead of working with her. 13. 190. Okay. Only because I like you. Okay, and then how about... It's a whip.

What kind of whip? A vicious whip. I mean, I don't know. I would not know what to do with this, but you know, it just called for me. Shit, I can't find it. Give me a second. Yeah, I pulled it up too, hold on.

Vichar Sweep. It might be too expensive for me. There's so many options. All right, of course, this is the one that's like, do you mean like a thousand different monsters and not this whip you're asking for? Oh. Oh, where'd it go?

Oh yeah, it's under, it's blue. It's just weapon? Under weapon. Oh yeah, that's my problem. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That would be a thousand gold. No. Is there a cheaper whip? I got extra if you need me to help out.

Oh, that's so sweet. Isn't he sweet? Isn't he just the sweetest guy? You know, we could share the whip. We could share it. I never use the whip. I'm sure she could teach you how to use the whip. You know how to use the whip?

600 gold, please leave me alone! Okay, 600 gold, perfect. Did you see this cool whip over here? Just holds up a little tub. You know. I debated it for like 30 seconds, and I was like, fuck it, I'm safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a different kind of whip. Sometimes you could use the two together. Anyway. Yes. Woo! Indeed. And then, you know, so I think I'm going to just put this right here.

I think at this point I'm at 890. So I'm just going to peruse your ring section and see what I can find, and I'll be right back. She is no longer able to be perceived as she is just blushing and crying mildly in the corner with a little nosebleed. Great. I'll be back! I'm going to walk over to Dariax.

Dariax, what did you say to her? How are you getting all these deals? I'm broke, I have no money. Look, I'm not going to... How do I say this lightly? I'm the handsome one of the group. And sometimes you just got to, you know, some people just have a little bit of luck

when it comes to interpersonal conversation, you know? I mean, if you want to hang around and watch, I could give you some tips. You literally still have shit in your beard. And yet, I still got a discount. Damn it. I have one more question. You have bank-based money in a bag.

There is a very cool weapon here, this moonsickle. What's the price on this piece? One second. I want ice cream now. And she slowly gets up from her, just wee meltdown. Just moves slowly towards you, looks up at you, nose begins to bleed a little more.

She just grabs the weapon. What level of rarity did you grab? Come back here. V. I type it back in. V. Uncommon. As she holds it, a single drop of blood hits it,

and she blinks one eye at a time. 500 gold. 500 gold, okay. Thank you. You're all a lot. Yes, we are very much. I've got to go take a nap. And she just starts eating some of the leftover Lunchable meat.

She's on the side, she sits down. On one of the little settees in the corner and flags over a different clerk to finish you guys up. And just a human guy comes over like, what? I don't. Okay, I'm wrapping up what Inanna began. Okay. I'm Cuthbert. Hi, Cuthbert. Hi.

I'm going to take a moonsickle. Okay. And... Two Otter Pops. Yeah. One chocolate And... Two otter pops. Yeah. One chocolate taco. We do have those, made with real otter. Oh no! Did you see a tiny little lollipop

that just looks like a little otter on its back? It's enchanted to look like a little otter. Just like, out of the way. What's the price on those? Those are five silver each. They're just, they're normal lollipops. They're just shaped like an otter. I'll take five of those.

Oh, okay, okay. And one moonsickle and the stonky's ring. A stonky ring? And then you just hear sort of weakly, 600 gold, I don't know what it is. And he goes, oh, okay, sure. Yeah. Okay. Here's the thing.

I am not going to keep recalculating prices in my brain because like. I got it. Yeah. I got it. You're good. If y'all are coming in under like where your numbers are, the numbers are set. We're good. I trust you to finish these transactions

because this is not the fun part of this game anymore. Like, can we please leave? God, I was like, I can't keep doing four-digit math. We're haggling, let's go! If you want to keep haggling, that's fine, but when you get a set price that you're good with, just deduct it. Done. Channeled Travis Willingham for a minute there.

Yeah, I know. I love shopping, and I felt myself reach the end of shopping. Mm-hmm. It was right there. And scene. Yep, and okay. Okay, okay. Hi. Hi! So I've... Simply ignored my social cues, you're good, go ahead.

So, I've got 110 gold left. What spell gem can I buy with that? So, I've got 110 gold left. What spell gem can I buy with that? What's the most powerful thing that can be bought for 116 gold? Yes. I am not Rodney Carrero's daughter if I didn't try! My god. Yes!

Called for Google. And thrown a free Bluetooth. It's a real thing my dad used to do. What animal? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. This is gems. She said Bluetooth. I was responding to that.

Oh. Oh! Wow. That was deep. That was responding to that. Oh! Oh! That was deep. Take inspiration, because you're the only one that understands. Okay. He turns to you and says, I can give you an amber gem for 200 gold. Okay!

That's great. I'll take it. Yeah, amber is good. Okay, great. All right, I'm all set. Ready to check out, baby. Thank god. Have you considered saving any of your money? No. Cool, okay.

Well, that's me, I'm Cuthbert. I'm leaving now. Goodbye. Goodbye, Cuthbert. And as you all go and check out the front with Sherry, right before you leave, Orym, you feel a little tap on your shoulder. Nope, at your height.

It's Inanna. She's got just a tissue jammed up her nose. She looks real tired, a little peaked, and she's holding a big shield wrapped up in purple taffeta. Wow. Here you go. This is it? holding a big shield wrapped up in purple taffeta. Wow. Here you go. This is it? Yeah.

I'm really sorry, but I unwrap it. Oh, that's fair. Give her the taffeta. Oh, okay, all right. She huffs it over her shoulder. I slip a hand through and feel the weight and look at it. Fatua wraps the knuckle. Look at that.

Thanks. It looks really good on you. I hope it protects you well. Mm. Yeah, they're a lot, huh? Deep breaths. A deck of many things? And Sherry reaches out of the scene

and just grabs it and drags it back away from you. I'll come back for that. I feel like this shouldn't be in the glass counter in the front. Yeah, yeah. My mistake is she just swallows the cards whole and removes them from play. Power move.

Yeah. Yep, yep. I've seen that mistake before. Oh yeah. And as you guys are leaving, Orym, you hear just, you're cute too, as the beads close behind you. Just hold the shield a little tighter. Walk out the door. Aw, Nancy.

Dariax is already out in front of the store, just like Star Wars, kidding with his new spear. Just. What does that do? It stabs things from a distance. Oh, wow. Yeah. Was it just me, or was Inanna horny for everyone else but me?

She was horny? Not me. None of you picked up on that? You were laying it on a little thick. I was unfair, unfair. No? Why didn't you get the discount? I don't know. Maybe I'm not her type.

Did you get no discount? No, I spent all of my money. I got a free potion. You got two free potions. I got two free potions. Hey, that's more free potions than I got. I got all of my stuff for free. What? What?

I didn't, I'm kidding. Speaking of which, my flute. I know you liked it. I know you enjoyed playing it. And if it's all right, it's sort of a family heirloom, and I'm going to reach into my bag full of shit and pull out the pan flute that I bought at the store and say, tradesies?

Aw. I didn't realize I still had it on me. Yes, you did. I did. This is a pan flute. Is that a special pan? No, just a $16 basic pan flute. Okay.

This is where I come from. Satyrs or fauns are very good at the pan flute. Do you want to give it a try? Sure. Ooh, I wonder. Um, satyrs or fauns are very good at the pan flute. Do you want to give it a try? Sure. Ooh, I want to. You know, here they call those Canadian bacon, but there they just call it ham. I got her good. Go ahead and make a performance check for me, baby.

I'll give you advantage, because you are a satyr holding a pan flute, and like, that's wild. I know, that's what I was like, come on! We're just going to do it? If she skips, I riot. Okay. I'm going to Google pan flute.

21. Let's go, Jethro. Let's go. Yeah, you go and you're like, ah, this feels right and natural. And you just go off. Nice. Just Aqualope. And you just go off. Just Aqualope. This is just a really well-made pan flute.

We unlocked your hidden talent. Oh, there's lots more. Wow, you're really musical. He's an actor. You can play a little girl. And you are talented. And what's my talent? You're our people person. You are talented, and what's my talent?

You're our people person. Yeah. It factor. Yeah. Thanks. Really good shopper. Thanks! Okay. And it's right at that time that a cart covered, that's got emblazoned on both sides, Gilmore's Glorious Goods in purple. There's a little unicorn that's frolicking

on the side of it. And there's a little trail of glitter that follows it. It's just the most thing. You give us the company car. Yeah! And Cuthbert gets really put out, sitting in the front, driving the two pristine white horses. I'm supposed to be giving you a lift somewhere?

Oh yes. South. Jungles of the... Why don't we stop by Byroden first? Sure, Byroden. Yes. Sorry. Am I taking you? GM, wasn't it, this was to go somewhere in town to then get transport?

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I don't think this goes that far. Oh. But we'll take it. I'm... Unless you want to take us. Yeah. This is just the start, guys. Well, I'm not going to leave the city. Byroden's very far.

Really? Yes. Yeah. Pretty far far. Really? Yes. Yeah. Pretty far. Yeah, he knows. I can take you to the gate. Is that okay? I mean, okay. It'll get us out of the city safely. But honk the horn.

Well, we do need transport. What about, yeah, we were hoping to pick up a ride that is going further. Yeah, at the Southern Gate, I can take you over to, you can hire horses. Okay, yep, don't want to be greedy, absolutely. Okay. Hop in the back, Mr. Gilmore says to keep the shut.

Am I going to die? Are you in trouble and I'm about to die? back, Mr. Gilmore says to keep the shut. Am I going to die? Are you in trouble and I'm about to die? No. No. We kind of are in trouble, but we're definitely not going to die. I have a whip. It's great. I'm still on the clock, so I'm not going to interact with that.

Orym springs in. Yep. Yeah. Wee! Thank you, sir. And he just pops the back again, like, please get in and just let me know when you're in. We're in. We're in. Okay. And takes off and is going to cross town.

Well, I've never been in a cage before. Who's going to be my lucky? Who feels lucky rolling? Because we need to see if a thing happens. If my game today is underneath anything, it's me. Yes! Do it. It's a one.

You got all your ones out of the way. That's true. Come on. Just roll a d20 for me. We'll see how we do. Hell yeah. Three. No! You idiot! Oh my god.

You idiot! God damn it! You know what I did. You had all our good will. I know. Put had all our good will! I know. Put the crown on. No reason, just put the crown on. Hang on! All right. The parents of the End of Time bandits,

don't touch it, it's evil. All right. Uh-oh, it's raining. No! Is it savory or sweet? Sweet or savory? Is it sweet or savory? You guys ride for probably a good 25 minutes down through Ap'Dar's Promenade. Sort of like, it's slower going over here

because a lot of it's foot traffic. And you know that it should probably take about 45 minutes to get to the gate. And maybe about half an hour in, you stop for a little bit. And probably two minutes pass. Can I get a perception check from everyone? I will make a perception check at advantage

with my new enchanted shield. Ooh, your shield is cool morn stuff. One! Oh my god! One! Wow! Sir! Sir! It's going to happen eventually. The DM plays a character,

a player, dice catch up with him. His shit beard got infected or something. Yeah, yeah. Shit beard. Shit beard. That's my pirate name. Yeah. Shit beard. Shit beard.

There needs to be Quaken in the presence of shit beard. You got a little wheat in your beard. Oh god. 10 for me. That's a 10 for me, too. 20. Oh, you were waiting on that. I Oh god. 10 for me. That's a 10 for me, too. 20. Oh, you were waiting on that, I like that.

19. 19. How do you do, Opal? 10. Okay. Dummies. Fearne and Orym, you hear voices sort of raised, arguing, but not from the front, like outside of the door.

And then they go quiet. And then you feel someone stepping back up and driving the cart again. Are there windows in this thing? Yeah, there's a little front window and side, like, yeah, front, sides, and back, and the front window would look basically at the butt of the driver. It's like a passenger's carriage. Yeah, like, yeah. Front, sides, and back, and the front window would look basically at the butt of the driver.

It's like a passenger's carriage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to catch hold of Fearne's staff and use it to hold myself as I lean out the window and try to see back there. You can lean all the way out. I hold on tight. Don't lean all the way out.

You lean all the way out of the window. My head pops out, yeah. Of which window? It's real small. The side. Nancy, get me! Left or right? Left. You stick your head out of the window and you catch just a little flash

of a red leather coat from the driver's seat. I need you to make a dexterity saving. From the driver's seat? That close? Oh shit! She took over. Fuck! A dex save, you say? Mm-hmm. 22.

Woo! And you're able to duck in just as you notice and see it and a crossbow bolt, like, you hear the whistle of it and you're able to duck back inside. So she, or whoever, she fired from the driver. That wasn't her. Someone was firing from her. You have an escort.

Okay. So what do you want to do? But the red coat was... So yeah, I'll just give it to you. Poska is driving. Right, that's what I just want to do. Yeah, Poska is driving and you are flanked by other nameless ones.

We have a problem? Problem. What? I don't know where we're going, but it's not where we want. Poska's driving this carriage. Poska? Our Poska? Our Poska. Should we hop out?

We're caught. We're caught. This is a cage? We're caught. We're caught. This is a cage. We're caught. I'm sorry. Get ready to rumble. Should we hop out? If it's a cage, we can't just hop out. We got to find a way to break the lock.

Wait, so are we surrounded? I think we were, at least on one side, probably both. Are we moving? I mean, you all see the crossbow bolt that's poked in. Oh, fuck. Mm-hmm. Not a literal cage, Dariax. See, I was confused,

because I thought we were in a carriage. It's okay, we are. Okay. And then, so you said a window left, right, and the rear? Yeah, there's a little one. But nothing at the front, right? At the front, you would just be seeing the back of her jacket. Wait, wait, wait.

But there is a communication space there? Mm-hmm. Okay, I know this is- I just point at her butt while Fearne talks. I see her butt. Okay. I know her butt. Okay. I know it's a little early and we wanted to keep it, but I think she wants the circlet.

Should we send it to Gilmore in the box? I mean, she's going to think we have it either way. Even if we send it, she's going to think we have it. Plus, I hate to say it, but we might need to use it. What if, what if you stab her in the butt? Butt stab? Butt stab. Butt stab, okay. Butt stab.

Orym, butt stab! What does that get us? A head start. You be ready to get to him. All right, all right. Get to him to do what? I've got the box. Butt stab. No, no, I'll take care of the butt stab.

He's going to butt stab. No butt stab. We're going to swap boxes. You know I can hear you. If he butt stabs and it goes bad, we swap boxes. You know I can hear you, right? It's not like a magically concealed wooden box. Can I do something fucking crazy? Is there a hole? How big is the hole?

You didn't wait for me to answer. So what? How big is the hole? Probably a foot long and six inches tall. Goddamn. So much. Okay, well, I guess this is... We either take or... Which is it?

Are we going to have a conversation or are you going to attempt to murder me? Where are we going? Good question. Home. Where's home? Where's home? Got that ring working? Oh shit. I totally forgot.

No, I didn't get the fucking ring. She didn't get the stinky thing. Going home, she said? Yeah, she has not. Why did I? I knew I should've gotten the other one. Your home? Mm-hmm. What you got in mind?

Because this could get messy in the streets. Look, I think I speak for all of us when I say we don't want to have any unfortunate civilians getting brought in on this, do we? You have some things that belong to me, do you not? No! What would we even have that's yours?

Are you really going to make me say it? Say it. You have my residuum. And you have my circlet. Oh. What circlet? We sold them. You want to make drugs?

All of this for drugs? Hold on. You did what? We sold them at Gilmore's. Yep. Make a deception check on me. Can I hype man this by going, Heck yeah.

Yeah! That'll get it! Do I get disadvantage for that? No, I would say you get a plus two to your roll. It's not worth a full advantage. Just a little yeet, yeet, yeet. Yep. Oh, plus two?

Mm-hmm. Oh my god. Come on, man. I can't even see it. Come on. Is that a 13 or an 18? Pick it up. You can touch or die. 15. Wait, wait, wait, to what? Oh, persuasion?

Deception. Oh, deception. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so plus three, 13, 16, plus two, 18. It's okay. 18. The cart stops. You sold it to Gilmore. All of it.

The residuum, too. Oh yeah. But you know full well that that wasn't yours to sell. So why did you go back on our deal? Answer carefully. Because it wasn't yours either. Does she speak for you? Yeah. Yes.

She's not wrong. Actually, it wasn't yours, so. I don't think at any point in time I was anything other than very honest about how much we are a thieves fucking guild. That's a good point. So you got to respect being thieved from. Yeah.

Right? I mean, if you steal, and then someone manages to steal from you when you're professional stealing people, that's impressive, right? Thief recognize Thieve. Ah. So that leaves me in a bit of an awkward position.

So what do you think I should do as the leader of another Thieves Guild? With the lot of you? Take the L and go. I don't have the L yet. I have all of you. Well, we've proven that we're good thieves, so you could hire us to find the people

that stole it for you. That hurt my brain so much. I genuinely don't know what to do. I'm going to need someone else inside of that cot to speak. Because these two are going to get you killed. I don't think there's any getting around this. So it's a fight to the death then, is it? You're not taking it.

Not from Gilmore. Not from anyone. Look, Gilmore thinks he's un-fucking-touchable because he's on the council, but everybody sleeps. So don't you worry. I will get my items back. One way or another. I, um...

You won't be around to see it, though. He was real nice to us. I don't want to get him killed because he helped us. He was real nice to us. I don't want to get us killed either. He's very powerful. Yeah. How many people are surrounding?

Because we're not moving, right? No, you've stopped moving. We've stopped. You only saw the one person that was shooting at you. You have no sense. I would have known the direction. There's one other carriage, or? No, it was just a person. Just a person on the street.

Yeah. But I don't think you have a strong, like, you know you don't have a strong sense. We have no idea how outnumbered or not we are. Yeah, so whatever's going on outside the cart could be anything. Yeah. I'm going to cast Charm Person. Oh.

That's the stuff. Okay. What's the DC? 14 wisdom. I rolled a 13. She beat you. She beat me? No. No.

Isn't it a match? No, you said 14. Oh, I thought you said 13. I just missed one. Yeah, no, no, no. Amazing. Yeah. You feel the spell take effect. She doesn't speak. Voska?

Yeah. Here's the thing. We have something very important that we need to go do, and you're getting in the way right now. So I think you should step aside or else we'll kill you. But I think that's a pretty good deal. And it's really quiet for a very long moment at the front of the carriage.

And then you feel that little familiar rock as she stands up and steps down from it. And it's just quiet. What do you do? Okay. Can I see if I can get out of the carriage? It was never locked. Okay, I'm going to hop out.

Thank you, Poska. She stands. You see now that she's gathered around and still looking around at other members that have faded, that were flanking you. But some of them are old women, young boys that look like children, old men, guards. And she calls over to her 25 people that were flanking you and walking along with your cart.

And you see something in her eyes that the charm that you have on her is a thin layer. And you see her eyes burning at you from it. But she has followed what you've asked and has called them away. So what do you do next? I lean in. I lean in. Really quick. Say again.

I lean out to you. Yes. Take the heat off Gilmore. I put my hand on her cheek. Poska, you have to leave Gilmore alone, okay? If he has, what's mine, or what I would make mine, how could you ask me to do

or be anything other than what I am? If he does have what's yours, then you can do what you want with him. But we have to go. I'm going to give her a kiss on the cheek. But we have to go. I'm going to give her a kiss on the cheek, and then I'm going to get on the cart and take us out of town. Yes!

As we are, as we're just out of eye shot of the group, I take it Poska's still looking over. I'm going to lean out the window over to you and be like, Uh, count to five and then pick up the pace pretty significantly. Yeah? Yeah. Okay.

You're doing great, sweetie. Okay. I look back to Poska. You see a single tear rolling down her cheek, and her jaw is just set with frustration. Poska! Gotcha. And they get back in the cart.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! And the scream you hear rip from her chest will follow you all the way across town as you get to the edge of the city. And by the time that that charm is up, an hour later, you feel something in that connection between you and her, a tearing and a severing

and an anger that will burn Emon alive. But you made it to the gates. In that time, Orym scrubbed some parchment from Dorian and scribbled out a feverish note to Gilmore, letting them know that that guild was tilted in his direction, and we shove it in the box and send it.

I was so hoping you were going to fucking say that. Yes! Do it! Smart! But my GM question, I guess, remind me, was that a one-use box? One-use box. Did we? Okay. Yep. Now we got the crown.

And no choice. We stab me. And no choice. Yep. Nice. So I take the parchment and the box and I say, you know what this means, right? I hate it. Yes, send it. And it disappears. And as you all are still hitting the exit,

and now that you're at the outside of town, and the cart's yours, you can just keep it. So you can ride it out of town. Nice, nondescript. Nice! Ah! We did it! We did it!

We did it! We did it! Good job! Let's go! Oh my god. That was dicey. Yeah. And the last thing, as you guys break from the city and move back into the green expanse

of the world below Emon as you head south, Orym, maybe five minutes after you send off the missive, you see a burst of red in front of your eyes, like you've been hit really hard in the back of the head, but there's no attendant pain, and just a voice in your ear from Gilmore says, Thank you, friend. Be safe.

Sorry, we couldn't do more. Unfortunately, this version of sending is a one use. Still says it. Yeah. It says it. On those last words, you all head into the green and head south. And that is where we're going to end tonight's episode of Exandria Unlimited.

That was such a tense game of Uno in the last 10 minutes. Oh my god! Yes, it was! Boom, let's go. Oh my goodness. I'm not ready for today. I mean, no. This is the next one and I'll make it worse. Y'all, oh my god!

Cool. That Charm Person! I was on the verge of butt stab for so long. I was thinking of Charm Person, but I don't have any magic! Because of my damn sister. I was like, maybe this? Oh!

You're still magic-less. Good deal. Oh, don't make me cast. Don't make me cast. Don't make me cast. Don't make me cast. Don't make me cast. Don't make me cast.

Well, that's it, and the adventure officially begins from here. So until next week. Good night. And is it Thursday yet? This is Liam O'Brien with a hearty thank you for joining us on this episode of Exandria Unlimited on the Critical Role Podcast Network. If you've enjoyed the show, please leave us a review on the podcast app of your choice. Who knows?

Maybe your review might just lead a new critter to embarking on this wild ride. There are unlimited stories to be told, and we can't wait to keep telling them. Until next time. Is it Thursday yet?