Critical Role - Exandria Unlimited Episode 5: A Test of Worth
Episode Date: July 29, 2021As the adventurers make their way into the jungles of the Rifenmist, inner and outer conflicts begin to surface among the members of the party...Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG... content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResourcesWatch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, please head over to our Twitch channel.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Exandria Unlimited on the Critical Role Podcast Network.
I'm Matthew Mercer, Game Master of Critical Role and player of EXU.
Exandria Unlimited airs Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on Twitch and YouTube.
If you'd like to watch the VOD, it's available immediately for Twitch channel subscribers
and is uploaded to YouTube on Mondays at noon.
Exandria Unlimited is of course also available in podcast form on Thursdays,
a week after the original broadcast, right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network.
All right, let's get to the adventure.
Hello, and welcome to Exandria Unlimited.
I am your GM, Aabria Iyengar, and with me are the coolest kids that don't have a group name.
Putting y'all on blast up top.
We love that for you.
Oh, cool. So before we get into it, yeah? We'll work on it. Yep, cool, cool,'all on blast up top. We love that for you. Oh, cool.
So before we get into it, yeah?
We'll work on it.
Cool, cool, cool.
I have some ideas.
So let's do a round of introductions
before we get into it.
Robbie.
I am Robbie.
Robbie Damon, that is.
And I am playing Dorian Storm,
the Air Genasi bard, here to rock your world.
Where's the facial hair?
Come on.
Oh, that's what's different, right?
I was like, what is going on here?
Amazing.
Face hair.
It's gone. Yeah.
Liam.
Hi, I'm Liam O'Brien.
I am Orym of the Arishari,
the canonically shortest member
of the to-be-named party of EXU. Mister has some objections to that, but will allow it.
He's more of a sidekick or a pet or a different target.
Hey, Dariax, how does it feel to have that target
completely off your back there?
Orym likes it. Oh yeah.
I want it back.
All right, all right.
That's not going to go well for you.
You got to always have one cast member
who hates the animal.
Well, never. Yeah.
I never stopped, but.
Yeah.
I know, you softened last time.
Yeah, you did. Softened, yes.
It's called a character arc, Liam, come on.
All right.
Hi, I'm Ashley Johnson.
I play Fearne Calloway, the satyr druid of the Faerom.
Yes. Ah, it's your hat. Sparkle. I play Fearne Calloway, the satyr druid of the Faerom.
Yes! Ah, it's your hat. Sparkle.
Hello!
I do not talk like this.
I don't know why I just did.
And take two.
Hi, I'm Anjali Bhimani, and I play Fy'ra Rai,
the fire genasi monk of indeterminate background.
That was spicy and I liked it.
Matt, follow that.
Just like me, I'm spicy.
Okay. Hi, I'm Matthew Mercer.
I play Dariax, the dwarf sorcerer.
And that's not how he sounds at all.
But yeah, go ahead.
Hi, I'm Amy Carrero.
Hi, I'm Amy Carrero. Hi, I'm Amy Carrero.
I play Opal, a Hexblade warlock,
who's went through it last time.
She's back from the dead and ready to flirt.
Or from being unconscious.
Almost dead. Almost dead.
There's always this week. I'm not dead.
That's mostly dead.
She is mostly dead, but now she's back
at the Gump and Grunt. It's mostly dead. She's mostly dead, but now she's back. It's going to be great.
It's fine.
Nothing bad will ever happen to her again.
Anyway, these episodes are pre-taped,
so we're going to throw it to future cozy comfy Matt
for some announcements.
Take it away, comfy Matt.
Thank you, Aabria.
Now, this episode is sponsored by our friends
over at Hit Point Press and their new Cubamajigs campaign.
Cubamajigs are reusable gaming packs
for trading card games like Magic the Gathering and Pokemon
that recreate the experience
of opening a sealed pack of cards.
Additionally, they've launched the Potamajig,
a storage box made for cube commander and card collections.
Now Potamajigs have a capacity
for over a thousand double-sleeved cards
and can also hold nine double-sleeved commander decks with spare room for tokens. Go to cubeTCG.com
to check out Cube of Majigs today.
Also thank you so much for joining us live on Twitch and YouTube. To join in our live
and moderated community chat, please head on over to our Twitch channel.
We're delighted to announce our newest Darrington Press project, the Tal'Dorei campaign setting, Reborn. Coming soon! The original campaign setting, which has been out of print for
quite a while, brought the continent of Tal'Dorei to 5th edition, and now we're excited for it to be
Reborn. Tal'Dorei campaign setting Reborn revises and significantly expands upon the original with
writing by Hannah Rose, James Haick, and myself. It contains tons of new content, including four all-new subclasses
and a slew of updated subclasses for play in Exandria and beyond.
Stat blocks for each member of Vox Machina,
and over 100 new illustrations and maps.
For more information on Tal'Dorei Reborn and other Darington Press projects,
visit daringtonpress.com.
And back to you, Aabria. Matthew, I didn't think that you would be able to pull off
like a stiletto manicure like that,
but it looks so good on you.
And the art was so detailed and intricate.
It was really nice.
I love that look.
I love that for you.
Super into it.
Super jealous of Comfymat.
I can't wait to meet him and his great tips.
I loved all the hand motions, like this.
There's a lot of grabbing.
Thank you. Thanks for sponsoring us.
We love it.
A lot of gesticulation.
Some might say too much, but I thought it was perfect.
I think you were just on the right side of it.
Look, I pained for the back row,
so it's going to be fine.
And you certainly did this time.
And we love that for you.
I hate this.
Yay! I love it so much.
And with Matt's utter embarrassment under our belt,
we can begin tonight's episode of Exandria Unlimited. unlimited Thank you. Cool. south from Emon, and you, led by Fearne's instincts,
ended up at the portal that she used
to cross from the Feywild into Exandria proper.
While you were there, the portal began to shimmer,
and things began to move and come through.
And before a true fight could break out,
you were intercepted by a strange woman
of flame and great purpose named Fiora Rai,
who believed with her entire being
that she was meant to be with you
and to lead you wherever you need to go
y'all fought some shit you beat it and you met some elves from syngorn that
had taken it upon themselves to try to drain the world of this excess energy using these large
spikes run through with channels of residuum.
You continued on your path farther south and made it to Opal's hometown of Byroden,
just in time for a festival and maybe the most amazing pageant that this little town
by the side of the road at the edge of the world has ever seen.
You crushed it.
You cooperated.
You made some new friends
and Opal was able to shine once more
for not only her hometown, but for everyone.
Do you get a crown?
Yeah, you got a crown.
You got a crown.
Okay.
Put that in my inventory?
Yes.
Tiara.
We got a cheap. Tiara.
We got a cheap gold tiara.
Do me a favor.
Roll a d20 for me.
Does it require attunement?
15.
15 of the little gems have fallen out
just in the time to do that.
You can stick them back in,
but those prongs are just like,
get them back in there, it's not great.
Does anybody have glue?
They glue around here.
If you move fast, no one will see the gaps.
You're fine. Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
I feel like she's still wearing it,
whatever we're doing now.
Yeah. Speaking of whatever you're doing now,
I will bring you back up to speed in Byroden.
So you know the road lays ahead of you.
And this is the last bit of civilization
before you hit the Mournset countryside
and then the Rife in Mist Peninsula proper.
So what do you want to do?
Hey, Fear,
so we were talking a while back there in the forest,
and when you mentioned the ruins of Kunira,
right, it's the thing that we're supposed to be doing.
I wasn't really paying attention,
but it seems important.
You seem like you recognize something.
Like, is there a thing here we should know about?
Is it made of fire? Is it super dangerous?
Is it where you were born? Is it a castle?
I haven't been this far south, so I'm a little confused.
Well, in fairness, you seem to be
a little confused much of the time.
You're not wrong.
But I will say this.
Gnyera is a very special set of ruins.
And it will want to know what you want of it. And it will want to know what you want of it.
So set your mind, set your intention, set it clearly,
and all will become clear to you as we get closer.
I missed the last part there.
And she just pulls her cloak over her fire hair
and turns and moves away.
Ooh, what's over there?
Wait, a little crown housekeeping.
I left it, I left the crown on Ted's side of the bed.
That's right. Okay.
Okay.
So she's not wearing the crown, but she's missing it.
Her head misses it. Yeah.
Okay.
Wherever it is, 15 stones fell.
Yeah.
She might've pocketed one of the stones before she left.
Are we, so we're actively,
this is the next day and we are actively on our way.
I just wanted to give you the opportunity
if there's anyone you wanted to say goodbye to.
I don't know what you guys got up to,
and some of y'all were extraordinarily cute last time,
so I'm just trying to give you an option
if you're trying to hit.
I'm not getting in your way.
I do feel like Fy'ra would be,
I'm checking on everyone, like the Momma Wolf that I am,
but I'm also very aware that
I've enjoyed that they all had a good time.
Aw.
I think I had about 14 whiskies and milk.
Ooh.
Yeah.
But I feel fine.
You are a wonder.
Thank you.
Can I say that I dropped, like, 10 gold
on just stocking up on pies?
Yes. All right, all right.
100%. No more.
10 gold's worth of pie is...
No more. How much pie?
No more.
I'm just filling bags with them.
I'm like, all right, we got food for the road
for at least three days.
Three days? Or a week.
I mean, I don't know how all you eat.
I know you're a hungry one, so we got this.
He just gets up and walks out
and starts practicing again outside.
For an hour straight,
because I know we're about to go off the grid.
I know, is there anything else that we should get?
Opal.
Yeah?
I'm very proud of you
and what you did last night for your people.
Thank you.
Is there anything you need to do for you?
I don't know.
I mean, I left my crown to my sister, wherever she is.
I said bye to everybody I need to say bye to.
No, I think I'm ready to go.
Why, is there something you feel like in the magic
I need to do?
Because like, do you get a sense?
I mean, you know about this stuff.
The only sense I get is that I understand siblings.
And there is something more to you than just my sister,
wherever she is.
So.
Well, here's the thing.
I mean, it's kind of, like, complicated, but I don't know.
I just don't know what she wants, you know? Like, I don't know what she wants from me, and I'm just, like, sick, but I don't know. I just don't know what she wants, you know?
Like, I don't know what she wants from me,
and I'm just, like, sick of it.
But also, like, I know she's, like, helping,
so, like, I don't want to make her mad,
but at the same time, I also, like,
want her to get her own life,
and it sounds like she has.
She got out, so, like, yay.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Okay. Hmm. Hmm.
Okay.
Well, I, for one, know I'm going to miss your town. Charming, hospitable.
And I'm going to miss this.
And he's clutching his chiffon,
his outfit from the other night.
He's got his regular adventuring gear back on.
And I'm going to,
is there somewhere I should return this to?
No, you should just keep it.
You're part of the winning team.
I feel like you should just keep it.
No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I know what you're doing. Okay, well, thank you.
And then he just puts it back into his bag.
I wish we could have met some of your family.
Yeah, there are a lot.
I mean, if you guys are interested,
I mean, I could probably get my dad to come say bye, but.
Make a charisma saving throw for me.
That is a 13.
With a 13, you don't notice it as you're talking. Everyone else, you see that the little opal
in the hand pendant at her neck begins to glow and pulse
with just a little bit of light.
But honestly, my dad is kind of a lot.
You know what I mean? It's just a lot.
I don't know if that's what you would want.
Oh, but the clasp breaks.
Oh my god. And the necklace falls
from your throat.
Oh my god.
That's my necklace.
Well, I have to get it fixed, right?
It's glowing.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
I mean, sometimes it's like Ted
trying to say something to me,
but she's just usually so annoying
that she'll just pop up, but like, Dad!
Does she talk to you through there?
I guess so.
Dad.
Dariax takes his pen in and goes like,
Whoa!
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Do you have a sibling in there as well?
18.
You lean in really close
and you hit just that right angle
that you can hear your own stomach growl.
Stomach.
Pies, I got it.
Do you feel like I should get it fixed?
I don't know.
Dairy acts are pretty handy.
Do you think you could fix it?
I mean, my experience with jewelry usually involved
just taking it, so I don't know if I'd be helpful
for this circumstance.
I mean, you know your town better than we do.
If you got somebody who's a jeweler,
maybe you can repair it a bit.
I have an idea.
Yeah?
If you don't mind.
Oh, here.
I'll take it and on each end, I'll just
tie a little bit of a ribbon on each side and a pink one.
That's a little iridescent.
Thank you.
Make an arcana check while you're fiddling with it.
Ooh.
Okay.
That is a 21.
Oh my goodness.
You are very focused on the clasp and the top of this,
and eventually your hand slips down
and touches the pendant at some point,
and you're immediately hit with this burst of warmth.
It feels like a hug from your Nana,
that sense of covering and protecting and warmth.
This is such a wonderful piece of jewelry.
It's so loving and so happy and...
Yeah, it can be sometimes.
Well, here. Thanks.
And you put it back on your neck
and the stone has gone cold, petulantly.
Yeah, warm.
It gets a little colder.
Oh.
I feel like Opal is just really resistant
to any kind of real talk about her family.
But a part of her is worried, like, where is my sister?
She's not here.
But I don't know if she would say that
to the group out loud.
Can I do a perception check?
Yeah, absolutely.
What are you trying to figure out?
I'm trying to figure out if I need to tell her
to have this conversation.
Make it an insight check instead.
Well, either way, that's the same number, so.
23.
Yeah.
It's a twin thing, I guess.
There's just something about that faded pair
and you see the thread connecting.
You envision it in your own sense of insight,
your own connection to your sister,
and you see that same struggle, that static.
And as I see that, I begin to rub my forearm.
Opal?
Yeah?
I don't know much about you and your sister,
but I do know if there is anything you have to do
or anything you have to say,
you don't know how long this life is
or how short.
But do it now.
In front of everybody?
You don't have to, if you would like to.
We can step away.
Yeah, I got some business to take care of.
No, no, it's fine.
She taps it.
Hey, Ted.
Look, I know I was a bitch last time, but...
Bless you.
I hope you're not sick.
Was that you?
It feels just a little sticky for some reason.
Well, look, I hope you're not sick.
Also, thanks for the powers and for giving them back
and for being forgiving, and also,
where are you?
Make an arcana check for me.
Ooh.
That is a three.
You speak out and reach out in that way
that has always connected you to
whatever is the bond between you.
And though you don't feel barred from her, there really isn't an answer right now.
You're not sure why.
Okay, if you're giving me the silent treatment,
that's really petty, but if you're not
and you're in danger, let me know,
because actually I've gotten pretty good at my daggers
and I think I've gotten pretty good at my magic, too.
And I've got some great friends that can maybe help.
So just let me know.
But if you are giving me the silent treatment,
just know that I hate it.
But I love you.
Bye.
The stone warms up in your hands,
and you're not sure if that was a sign from Ted
or just how body heat works.
Okay, but a different sign, like thunder or something.
Okay, bye.
It's a pretty special thing you have.
Yeah.
A lot of us have family or friends
or people we care about where we're from,
but out here we're all alone,
and you have something that connects you to someone special.
I know I should feel that way,
but sometimes it, doesn't it feel good to be alone?
Make your own way?
Yes. Yeah.
No.
No?
No.
On that note, I think I'm going to sweep you all back together
and put you on the road south
through the Mournset countryside,
where Farmway gives way to wild land.
And Fy'ra,
I'm assuming you're taking point on this.
There's still roads.
There's no sense of the road down through
to where you know they need to go,
but you can keep the glitter shitter for now.
And continue to head south.
I'm assuming the diaper's still on it?
Oh, did I diaper it?
Yeah, I'm going to make it part of our road trip routine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Feels like a good move. Man, though.
If the curtain was the shit, I'm going to miss it.
Yeah.
Now that would have been a good time
to use the glitter shitter within your pageant.
Oh my, why didn't we think of that?
Next year, we're all using the glitter sugar.
We're doing this again.
This is an annual thing.
Yes.
Yeah.
As we are riding, was that, were you?
Yeah, keep going.
As we are riding, I just very gently,
not like full tilt, but just very gently
lower my eyelids a little bit
and raise my eyes underneath them.
Make a wisdom saving throw for me.
Five.
I mean, it's my first shit roll, I think.
Yeah, that's true.
Yay me.
So true.
I feel good about that.
I just not the timing.
There's some time, don't worry.
Just not the timing of it.
You close your eyes
and you try to reach out for that place
to discover some extra bit of insight
to have an affirmation of your path.
And the wheels of the wagon
lurch over a massive stone in the
what passes for a road at this point.
Whoa!
And you can't quite give yourself over.
But that little bit in you
that before you knew what your instinct was,
before you knew what that capital G Gift was,
you always trusted it.
And it knows, you know, that you're on the right path,
but it's going to get harder.
I also know that I'm preoccupied after the Opal
and her sister and thinking of my own
and how that is.
Do any of you guys have any siblings?
Did I already ask you this? I can't remember.
It's all that whiskey and milk.
I know, fuzzy. We talked a bit whiskey and milk. I know, fuzzy.
We talked a bit about our families.
I don't.
You do not.
No.
I have a brother.
You have a brother, that's right.
Older or younger?
Older.
Yeah, me too.
Wow. Really?
Yeah, Tarros, yeah.
He's a bit of a dick, but you know,
we get along all right, I guess.
Dariax, I don't think you've ever talked
about anything personal ever.
Yeah, no, it's about right.
Well, tell us about your brother.
Oh, yeah, no, he's about two inches taller than me.
He was the workhorse on the farm,
very much the one stepping in the same family path.
Overall, kind of a good guy.
We just got into scuffles here and there, you know.
I guess I was kind of a troublemaker growing up,
and you kind of had to put out a lot of fires that I set,
figuratively, literally.
Yeah, we haven't talked in a while
since I left the Turst Fields, you know,
just bouncing around Tal'Dorei and such,
but we're cool.
He's just, I don't know.
If he was the tree that stayed there,
I'm the rock that people keep throwing.
So our paths just diverged.
That was a weird analogy, but yeah, you get the gist of it.
I liked it because it was very visual
and I understood it.
Oh, great, yeah, see?
Same page. Yes, same page.
Much better with pictures. Who's throwing the rock?
Yeah, no, it was a bad analogy, you're right.
No, no, no. People, you guys are throwing the rock,
I guess. If I'm the rock, you're throwing me.
You know, around, physically sometimes.
I throw myself forward,
probably to a problematic level,
but, you know, gets me to fun places
like here at you guys, near a big, scary jungle.
So it worked out okay in the end.
Yeah.
Speaking of which, how much farther do we have to go?
Are you all right? Survival check.
Survival check. Survival check.
21. Yee!
If you're lucky, it'll take a month.
Oh!
Well, maybe we should talk about,
what are we going to call ourselves?
Well.
Call yourselves.
Yeah, like a girl. Are you not called Opal?
Oh, no. Yes.
I mean, together, like a band.
A band of adventurers.
Are we that far along?
Yes.
Maybe we are.
No? Is there a time limit or?
No, whenever. I don't know.
I've never been part of a band.
Might be fun. That's kind of cool, yeah.
Is that a thing we do?
You're the Bard guy, you've been in bands.
So do you name the band?
It's sort of like a branding thing, sure.
Yeah, I think we should brand ourselves.
We've stumbled our way along this,
but if we ever wanted to go beyond this,
and, I don't know, market ourselves
as a swashbuckling adventure team,
a name wouldn't be bad.
So you probably need a theme or...
Yes. What's our theme?
Or some sort of unifying quality?
What is that for us?
Well, we're all pretty attractive.
That is true.
So hot.
Oh, oh.
Hot, hot, hot.
Hot pie biters.
Hot pie biters?
He finishes the last piece of pie.
And they're like,
Mm-hmm.
You ate three days' worth of pie?
Well, I'm rationing it.
No, there's plenty of it here.
Oh, okay.
A month is going to be a little longer
than I anticipated, so we just got to
ration it a little bit, be respectful.
I ate a lot of them already, I'm sorry. A month is going to be a little longer than I anticipated, so we just got to ration it a little bit, be respectful.
I ate a lot of them already, I'm sorry. Hot.
Sexy six.
Are you staying with us, by the way?
Yeah, you should stay.
You're pretty cool.
Are you the leader?
I don't know if she's the leader yet.
Are you the leader?
The band's got to have a leader, right?
Oh yeah.
Oh.
Do they?
Isn't there something that you all sort of share
in governing things?
We could be a choir.
Like an ensemble.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hot ensemble.
Hot ensemble.
Homsamble. Ho ensemble. Hom-semble.
Ho-semble.
Mm, mm.
We'll workshop it.
We got a month to work on this.
We got a month to work on this.
TBD, TBD.
It's not like this will stick with us forever or anything.
Tempted to go with the arseholes.
I mean, it matches a little bit with the shits, you know?
We'll think about it. Glitter shit.
Here's the deal.
If anyone thinks the glitter shits?
Yeah.
Hmm, maybe we should, for branding purposes,
maybe not shit. Yeah, maybe that'll turn off
a certain crowd, you know, like the money crowd.
We want the money crowd to be like, we want that.
Just think of the next month,
it's an incentive to think of something
better than the arseholes.
Because if we don't think of anything, that's what it is.
So think of something.
All right.
Well, on that note, I'm definitely making
the first night hit.
We got to put you all on the clock.
Yeah!
So you cross into the jungle
and everything is different now.
The world without and the world within has changed.
You all have changed in the weeks
that you've been together.
And as the first night comes,
Dariax. Yeah?
I need you to make a wisdom saving throw
while you're asleep.
Nice, okay.
That's going to be minus one.
Two.
It's a gift every time.
What's up?
You awake from your sleep
into twilight.
And what little bit of the clouds you can see
behind this roiling charcoal cloud cover
is indigo and full of stars
that have this sickly,
almost like phosphorescent green tint to them.
And every couple seconds,
an arc of purple lightning streaks the sky,
but doesn't seem to scatter or cast any light down onto you
on this torched earth alone.
What do you do?
I look around and see if anybody else is awake.
You're not where you fell asleep.
Oh.
That's a problem.
And not uncommon, honestly.
That wouldn't be the first time.
Yeah.
Okay, where am I?
He cries into the night.
Fuck! Okay, where am I? He cries into the night. Come on!
You look around you and you don't see any signs of life
or your friends or your camp.
Just this blasted terrain with a storm
that looks like it's about to break overhead,
but it never quite does.
It hangs in suspense.
Hello?
Dorian?
Anybody?
Below you, you hear the ground begin to rip open
a little bit, like an earthquake, but without the rumble.
I step back.
And as you are just a witness
to whatever is happening here,
you see a dark gray, mud and ash-covered hand
claw its way out of the ground.
And clutched in its hand is this long line of bramble.
And you see another hand come out.
And though you know that there is a body
between these two arms,
you have no sense of the physicality of it.
I'm going to keep backing up
and I'm going to hold my spear in front of me
and just keep a close eye on it and be like,
Ah!
Anyone?
Please?
Burn!
The louder you get, the more arcs of lightning
and rumbles of thunder seem to raise and match you
and begin to drown you out.
I run.
Just turn around and run.
Yeah, okay.
Give me a, let's call this an acrobatics check.
All right, all right.
That's the whole ass stat.
That feels fine.
That's a 17.
Yeah.
You turn and you sprint and you run flat out, dead out.
You can feel the earth turning under your feet.
And yet, every time you look over your shoulder,
that jagged bit of earth with those two hands
clutching those brambles is at the same distance from you,
about 40 feet away.
And now you see that the two hands are just winding
these brambles into a circular pattern,
and it's ripping up the flesh of its hand
and down the forearm and around its elbow
as it's curving whatever these thorny, dark bits are
into a circle.
I'm going to try and hide.
Am I running through trees?
Am I still in the jungle?
Is there anything nearby I can hide from?
It's just flat, but you see out ahead of you
a bit of upturned rock as now
everything underfoot is beginning to shift
a little more, too,
and you sprint and throw yourself behind it.
Just listen.
It's still silent?
You wait.
And as you are silent, the sky is quiet.
There's no rumble, no flashes.
And after a long moment that keeps stretching out
in front and behind you,
you hear a voice, low and feminine.
Why are you running?
My curiosity is too strong.
I peeked around the rock.
You look around and you see those same hands
continuing to wind, but no face, no figure.
And maybe a little closer to the ear.
So you're looking over your left shoulder
and in your right ear, you just hear,
I'm not there either.
Why are you scared?
I mean, there's a multitude of reasons. Where are my friends?
You're asleep.
They're beside you.
You're a sl-
Oh, right.
What do you want from me? Who are you?
You know who I am.
And you know what I want.
I want you to stop running from it.
Why? It seems bad.
Why do you care that it's bad?
What is bad?
It's interesting.
It's powerful.
Yeah, but I don't know.
I'm traveling with some better people now
and I just don't want to disappoint them.
Really?
I guess so.
But you took it.
You kept it.
I'm so close.
And you're just going to what? Hold me in a bag.
For now.
Boring.
You are boring.
That's hurtful.
What will happen when they become bored of you two?
Looking around to see if there's any sign
of where the voice is coming from.
Make a perception check for me.
That is a one.
Dirty one.
You look around,
and at every point where your eyes fix on something,
you hear the voice issuing from there.
It travels with you.
Stop looking around.
You're not going to find anyone to tell you what to do,
how to be better.
It's just you and me.
Not good on my own.
Not good on my own.
No.
That's why I picked you.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what I was getting into.
This is...
This is...
This is a little much.
I want to wake up now. Can I wake up now? Is that really what you want?
Yeah, yeah.
Fine.
And you feel the world,
that there was a sound that was building behind her voice,
that sort of negative, like a very slow, very low rip stops.
And if you look back over your shoulder at the stone,
the hands have stopped rapping.
And there is just this long, painful circle of brambles.
The thing that you know will, at some point,
become that circlet of barbed vision,
but it's not quite there yet.
And you can walk away.
And as your consciousness moves from this place back into the world,
Dariax, you are different now.
You've gotten stronger, not just like a strength of will,
though that's probably true, too.
Maybe if she had talked to you sooner,
you would be different.
But just the strength of you has changed
and you feel it in your fingertips.
You feel yourself choosing to push through the weave.
Whatever the Spider Queen has set here,
you are moving away.
And you wake up and your friends are beside you.
The camp is silent and calm.
And you are stronger for it.
Look up at the sky, the weather.
It's hard to see over the extremely dense canopy.
Yeah.
But if you give yourself a couple seconds to listen,
you don't hear that rumble of thunder.
It's just a quiet night full of normal animal sounds
in a jungle.
We'll add those in post.
That's fine.
Ah!
Woo!
Playing with voice actors is great.
Just saved us some money in the back end.
All right, I look around.
And then I quietly tiptoe over towards
where Dorian is sleeping.
I just push him awake a little bit.
Dorian.
Dariax, is everything all right?
I just had a really weird dream.
Was it the one about the, you know,
giant dwarf lady again?
No, no, I mean, that was before that.
This is the dream after that.
Oh, okay.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
It just kind of spooked me a little bit.
Was it spooky or was it something more?
It was pretty spooky.
I had hands clawing out of the ground and some scary lightning and stuff.
All right.
Anyway, I'm just a little spooked.
I just want to hang a little closer to my friends,
if that's okay, just for comfort.
Not that I'm scared or anything, I just, you know.
You know, protect each other, back to back, just kind of a.
You want to go back to back?
Sure, whatever. I mean, I don't know.
Just say you want to go back. I don't want to go back to back, if that's okay. mean, I don't know. Just say you want to go back.
I want to go back to back, if that's okay.
All right, tell me.
So I'm going to sit up out of my bunk
and dust off the spot for him.
It's like lower back to shoulder blade, I guess.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm comfortable for me.
Yeah, this pose of the Dariax feels very much like
one of those ergonomic chairs
that you put in your office.
It has the Swedish wedge.
The one where I'm like,
That's great. Good lower back support.
Oh, I'm really late.
All right, I'm going to...
Better?
Weirdly, yeah.
Weirdly, yeah. Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
We're in the jungle, right?
Yeah. Okay.
So Orym's on watch in a tree.
Of course.
Watching Dariax go over on all fours
and then watch them scoot next to each other and stuff.
She doesn't say anything, just clocks out
and continues to watch.
Nice.
Dorian, the moment he makes physical contact with you,
make an arcana check for me.
I'm making these dice compete for my love tonight.
Who's it going to be?
You.
16.
Oh wait, and I have, I'm sorry, 18.
Never apologize.
Good job. And let the others learn from that moment. Yeah. I'm sorry. 18. Never apologize. Good job.
And let the others learn from that moment.
Yeah. You learn.
The moment you make contact,
you feel this little thrill of electricity.
It makes the center of your back go numb
for a good 30 seconds.
Dariax, you don't have any poison darts
or anything in your pack, do you?
I don't think so.
I'm going to pull my pack aside and look through it.
I don't think I have any poison darts.
No. No.
No. No. No, no darts.
I got some blueberry and some pecan.
Thank you.
Are you still wearing this circlet?
I'm not wearing it, but I mean, I keep it close.
Yeah, I'm supposed to be.
In the satchel on your back?
Yeah.
That's back to back with my back.
Oh, is that?
I'm sorry.
Oh, totally right.
It makes you feel gross.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
I'm going to go ahead and move it,
and I put it in my front like a little papoose.
Just kind of like this.
Thank you.
I prefer not to be numb from the waist down.
No, good looking out, good looking out.
My apologies.
As he shifts it to the front of him,
and it's a little farther away from you,
you feel that pins and needles begin to subside.
It's not completely gone, though, but it's easy enough to ignore from there.
It's a dream of yours.
You sure it was just scary sounds and clawing hands?
Well, I mean, I heard the voice of the Spider Queen
and stuff give me power, but you know,
I don't think it's anything to worry about.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What did you just say? me power, but you know, I don't think there's anything to worry about. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What did you just say?
Like the Spider Queen.
The voice. Yeah.
Of the ancient god, the Spider Queen.
Well, it's a dream.
Spoke to you in the dream,
and you're holding her favorite piece of jewelry.
Shh, people are trying to sleep.
Yeah, I'm going to need a perception check.
Exactly, come on. I don't sleep that deep. I'm going to need a perception check. Exactly. Come on.
I don't sleep that deep.
And you just have heard all of that.
18. Yeah.
Orym, yeah.
18? Yeah.
Okay, I will leave that to you
if you would like to wake up.
You guys.
Sorry. Sorry.
Some of us.
Fy'ra, how'd you do?
16.
As I hear the yelling voices,
I immediately just come up and immediately look around
to see if there's danger
and realize it's just the two of them.
I just stretch.
Is it morning?
Not yet, sorry.
Sorry, Fearne.
It's a bad dream.
Are you fighting?
No. Are you in danger?
No.
Maybe.
It was a dream.
I've had a lot of things talk to me in my dreams.
Whole spectrum of weird things.
Dariax had the Spider Queen talk to him in his dreams.
Oh!
Was she nice?
No.
No, no, not at all.
Actually, she was just intense.
This Spider Queen, is this someone you have met before?
No, but I had a vision once.
Yeah.
Orym drops out of the tree.
What did she say exactly?
That was wild and very cool.
I'm not going to make you roll about it.
I'm just imagining a walk forward.
Nancy, you're such a good jumper.
Like, yes, of course.
She was just asking me why I was running,
and then, you know,
essentially just told me there's no use to running away.
That's comforting.
But we're not running.
I put my hand on the nearest vine,
or piece of jungle, and immediately flick my eyes up
hard behind my eyelids.
Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw with advantage.
19.
The moment you sort of like,
it's not even the eye flick that does it,
it is that hard grasp on this very real plant
and the connection to what you know is Mor.
You leave yourself entirely.
What do you want, Fy'ra?
I want to know if this,
what is their connection to the Spider Queen?
And is she coming for them or us now?
Is this an imminent danger?
And how can I protect them?
And as you feel your consciousness pull back
and away and up from your position,
you can feel these hot points,
like a pan that doesn't heat evenly.
And one of them is centered very close to Dariax.
And everything you're being given right now is,
it's a strong sense of potential.
There are sources of great strength here
that anyone could tap into,
but the potential in the five people
sitting in front of you right now dwarfs all of it.
And you feel a warm breeze circle around you,
that you recognize is very specifically of here and now,
and a little sigh.
And it lets you, your instinct here,
you don't hear any words.
This is not a place that speaks to you,
but a sense of hold and watch.
There is no threat here,
even though you are even more attenuated to
sussing out and hitting a threat before it can become unreasonable.
But it's about the decisions that are being made
in this moment right now.
I loosen my grasp on the vine and open my eyes
and pull my hand down it and say,
thank you, my friend.
My biggest apologies, guys. I didn't mean to wake everybody up. You were still up, and say, thank you, my friend. My biggest apologies, guys.
I didn't mean to wake everybody up.
You were still up, so no apology to you,
but the rest of you guys, I feel bad about.
Orym wheels around on Dorian.
This is a problem.
You're not the first person to say that,
and I understand, and I apologize,
and if you want me to correct any of my previous behavior,
just bring it up with me, and I'm happy to. It doesn't I understand, and I apologize. And if you want me to correct any of my previous behavior, just bring it up with me and I'm happy to.
It doesn't mean you, Dariax.
Varying degree.
This was going to be hard enough without this thing.
And now it's strapped to us.
We can't leave it. We can't go back.
This is a problem.
I don't know.
What thing?
None of your business.
Excuse me.
It's something that happened before you came along and something my friend possesses,
and that's all we need to know.
Dorian, make a wisdom saving throw.
Go up.
Sorry. No, you're good.
11.
That buzzing between,
oh, it was your lower back, so not your shoulder blades.
That buzzing in the center of your back thrums out
and you become uncomfortable, not just physically,
but with this interrogation from her.
Who is she?
And why does she keep looking at you like that?
What?
What? We met you not even a week ago.
We've been companions for a while.
Why? Why should we tell you everything about us?
Secrets, things that are important to us.
I'm sorry.
I trust all of you.
Why am I being put on the spot?
I think what he's trying to say, ma'am,
is we appreciate your help,
but we don't really know why you're helping us.
That is a fair and respectful answer.
I do know this place.
I know this jungle.
I know this land.
And I know that there is something very special
about all of you.
I know that you are meant to be here.
And I know that I, whether you like it or not,
am meant to protect you.
But what's in it for you?
She ain't straightforward.
Is she being straightforward?
Make an insight check.
Ooh, halfling luck.
Aw, I rolled a one and then a two.
Aw, bummer!
Where are you standing right now?
I'm in the middle of the group,
looking up at everybody and gauging
whether or not to start talking or not,
and just trying to let things play out
and not cause any fires.
Your head is, you're in this defensive stance,
so it's taking away your ability to really inspect
and interrogate her beyond, is she a threat?
But you recognize the look in her eyes,
which is this similar protective sense.
And though you can't really dig in
and see how straightforward she's being,
she believes what she's saying with her entire heart.
You ask what's in it for me.
Yeah.
Let me tell you a story about sisters.
I do have a sister, my younger twin.
Her name is Fy'ra Kai.
We both left our home at the same time,
but she was a freer spirit than I.
Powerful, but willful. I free her spirit, then I.
Powerful, but willful.
I didn't want to separate.
I always knew, even if we were simply separated by minutes,
that I was here to be by her side,
to be with her, to guide her, to protect her.
But she wanted to explore this world,
this world that gave birth to our mother.
So I let her go.
It was a short time later that I heard of her perishing.
Oh, sorry.
And it was as if a part of me had died.
Wow.
I never want to feel that again
about someone who is as special to me.
Now, I can't tell you why,
but I can tell you that I know
that all of you,
there is something about you,
including you, little brother.
There is something very special.
And if I have to give my life to protect it, I will.
Because I couldn't for my sister.
That is what is in it for me.
Okay.
It's a Vestige of Divergence.
We stumbled upon it.
Ah.
And where is this vestige?
Go on.
Do not touch it!
I've already touched it. It's not like it's going to do anything worse
than it's already done.
Yeah.
It's between, just moving on.
Challenge accepted, wisdom save.
Oh no.
I'm moving the pies first. I got to. Yeah, just the pies. Just accepted, wisdom save. Oh no! I'm moving the pies first.
I got to.
Yeah, just the pies.
Just pies.
It's a wisdom save to eat pie.
I have wedged the Vestige of Divergence
between multiple pies, guys.
As I see him throwing things out of his bag,
I grab both of his hands with all of my strength.
Just tell me where it is.
It's in my bag.
Put the pies back.
Okay.
To be fair, it's the same miming motion.
Yeah, it looks like it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Crashing pies.
I silently grab a quick bite of the pie.
Take a whole pie.
I can just sleep here to enjoy a midnight snack.
Just fell on the ground. I didn't want to waste it.
The crust is the best part.
No, I respect that. Sorry.
That's a very good point.
I'm sure in your olden time,
you will tell me exactly how you came upon this vestige.
It really was an accident.
I mean, we stumbled onto it
and have been trying to shake it off
and have been having trouble doing that.
Hmm.
But now we're in the middle of nowhere
and we can't leave it.
No. Can't bring it back, so
just have to deal with it.
I hope from now on you can trust me enough to share
if you have any more surprises.
Hmm.
I would say we have a myriad problems.
Does anybody else have anything
they want to put on the table here?
Believe me, there is nothing that will surprise me.
We're being hunted by a guild of thieves and murderers.
Right, yeah, no, that's true.
Yeah.
We, the little crown thing
was in a scary boat that a bunch of these thieves were after
that we were working for.
Well, we were working for, but then we offered a job
and then we stole from them.
And then we went to a big mountain hole thing,
but then the thieves were still after us
when we went back to the town.
So we're also being hunted.
Lady named Poshka.
If you wrote this, nobody'd believe it.
Dorian, make a wisdom saving throw for me.
Betrayal.
Betrayal.
You're going to take two points of psychic damage.
What? Oh, why?
And your nose begins to bleed.
As my what?
Your nose begins to bleed.
Oof.
You okay?
Allergies.
Bleeding allergies.
That happens to me once a month.
It's very dry in the jungle.
None of that surprises me.
If I am being completely honest,
none of this is news to me.
I have been watching you for a little bit longer
than you had met me.
That's a little creepy.
I had to see if you needed my help
a little sooner than perhaps you thought.
But you surprise me with your resourcefulness.
One of you, I cannot tell which,
seems to have saved you from Pashka, no?
I probably put that on Fearne there.
Fearne!
What did I do?
You were awesome, yeah.
Well, we just got out of there.
Mm. I think.
You did.
You are surprisingly more capable
than you allow yourselves to seem.
Very backhanded compliment.
Thank you very much.
I am debating, but I am not sharing.
Medha!
I am debating whether I have to relieve him
of said vestige at any given point for his own safety.
Can I make a roll to make that decision?
While she ponders this, I am picking my nose.
Yeah, respect.
Now, rolls are like,
meta conversation, rolls are where a decision and the universe
may disagree on a course of action.
We don't disagree because you haven't made a choice.
So do what you think you need to do.
I'm just going to keep my thoughts on it and wait.
Keep my eyes open. Vibes.
Take one more point of psychic damage.
Oh my god.
Dariax, would you like me to carry it for a little bit?
Yeah, sure, totally.
Dorian.
What is happening?
I don't know.
I don't feel so well all of a sudden.
I throw him a kerchief.
Am I cool to pass this on to Fearne?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes, please.
We could take turns.
I mean, it doesn't make me sick.
Yeah, we can take turns.
Great.
It's okay, man.
Not all of us got a hearty self, you know?
I just got sick a lot when I was a kid, too,
so it's all good.
I usually don't get sick.
I'm going to walk closer to him
and hold up my hand and say, may I?
Every time you take a step closer,
a ringing in your ears seems to increase.
If you don't mind, just some space, please.
Gift.
I'm going gift! Yeah!
No. Not going gift!
Not going gift.
Going jift. Going jift.
Don't you dare.
It's not nothing. We love failing forward.
But you go to check your intuition
and you have this sense of a dark spot,
a thing you can't see,
or even really wrap your mind around to think about,
and it's standing in front of you.
I pull back further.
The ringing dies down.
Thank you.
You all right, buddy?
Need, I'm just going to cast Cure Wounds on him.
Yeah.
Thank you!
Yeah.
I'm bleeding out the room. Before you roll that, I do need you,
let's call this, make an arcana check with disadvantage.
Oh, hell yeah.
I'll be great at this.
Five.
Whatever healing you've rolled
is going to be only half as effective.
And you're going to feel it as you try to cast it.
It feels like there's a bottleneck.
I think the meat pies are bad by now.
You healed four points.
Who has the circlet? Thank you.
Fearne. I have it.
You have it. Yeah.
I don't understand why this is happening to you.
I think I'm all right now. And that did fully heal me,
so I'll give you your kerchief back.
I think it's pretty obvious what's happening to you.
Why?
Why, do you know?
Well, these two snuggled up earlier tonight
and that thing had a bad effect on you and on me.
And you just sidled up against it again.
I don't know.
What's different? This guy had a nightmare.
Know this? I know this.
I didn't know.
I didn't have the nightmare.
Can I try something?
Sure.
I just go and stand up next to him pretty close.
Do you feel anything?
Make a wisdom saving throw with disadvantage.
Hmm. Eight.
The moment she steps closer to you,
that ringing that was dying down as Fy'ra backed away,
you begin to feel a little better.
And then once she's right in front of you,
that buzzing, whatever part of your body
is closest to her in this moment,
pins and needles, and it immediately begins to go numb.
When Fearne comes to me?
Yeah.
Bad, bad?
Okay, okay.
It's got to be the circlet.
I mean, I know it already makes you sick, but it's...
It doesn't make any sense.
You're not holding the circlet.
I am now. I am.
Yeah, I grabbed it.
Oh, did she?
Yeah. Oh shit.
She has my pie bag.
Oh, I didn't know. I forgot.
Just keep it away from me, just for a minute.
Yeah, you know, maybe 20 paces for a day.
Yeah. Whoever's got it, just for a minute. Yeah, you know, maybe 20 paces for a day. Yeah.
Whoever's got it, either of you two.
Is there any reason that you have to keep it near you
or with you, other than
keeping it out of anyone else's hands?
Is this a, is this,
does someone here have some kind of connection to it?
Do you need it?
Well, no, but if we don't have it,
who's going to have it?
Fearne, make a wisdom saving throw.
15.
You notice as you're under this massive canopy,
as a single little spider
has dropped down onto your shoulder.
And all of you see the moment this thing makes contact,
it wasn't trying to be secretive.
Fearne, your fingertips begin to go black.
You don't feel any different.
That's an, oh.
Orym is just fucking kicking himself.
I feel like Opal would just be like,
and swipe the, I'm just going to put the spider.
Make an attack roll.
Fuck. Oh no.
Oh no.
I think I just.
You inserted yourself in this problem.
Good.
No.
No.
You hit it.
I just want to save my friend.
It's a spider.
It's not wearing armor.
You hit it.
As you knock it out of the air,
you look down and there are two spiders
running at your forearm.
Ha!
Can I, I'm going to try it.
Cast Druidcraft and create some sort of like wind,
little wind that I don't have to touch it
to get them off of me.
Just trying it out.
Yeah. Okay.
So that happens.
Hands are gone.
Make a perception check.
15.
You got two of them.
There was only two.
How many were there?
You could look around and find out.
Okay, she looks around, finds them out.
No, there's no more on you.
But if you look back behind you on your bag,
there's two little spiders that are making a web across
the flappy part.
I know the anatomy of a backpack.
The opening of your bag.
Okay, okay.
Okay, they're just multiplying, so what do we do?
Should I keep holding onto it then?
I don't know, is it?
Maybe.
Maybe I just liked being with you better.
I just step away from Dorian.
The moment you touch it, you hear a giggle in your ear.
I could do this all night.
I think we're good now.
Fuck you.
Natural to whiney.
Yeah!
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, yeah!
12.
We got a big problem here.
We got a real big problem. We got a real big problem.
We are in the middle of nowhere.
What do we do with this thing?
Maybe we should just talk about it in the morning.
We're all kind of tired,
and I genuinely feel really bad
for waking everyone up now,
because this became a thing, and sorry.
Well, I'm not going back to sleep.
There's spiders in my bag.
And we aren't exactly in the middle of nowhere,
but we are in the middle of a jungle.
It is a special place.
Orym, make a nature or perception check.
Let's make it nature.
Oh!
Advantage on perception now.
Sorry.
Okay.
Not going to make you do the one thing you're good at.
Well, it's a 19.
That was mean.
Oh, well, it's still a 19.
Oh no.
I apologize for being mean.
Also, that was a very good roll.
All right, step on me.
Basic inspiration for making me forget
what I was going to say for a solid five seconds.
Ah!
Yeah.
As you hear that this is a special place,
you're suddenly hit with a warm breeze
that swirls around you,
and it carries the scent of
not just the tropical, wet fern and foliage that's here,
but pine and cold water that runs off of snow.
This place smells like nature,
but not just the nature that's here.
All of it.
Was that last word?
All of it. All of it.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
It's strange, but not,
I mean, I'm not going to tell you how you feel about strange, but not, I mean,
I'm not going to tell you how you feel about it,
but it doesn't seem threatening, just strange.
Okay.
Are the spiders gone, Opal?
I mean, one of them finishes
and then skitters off into the night.
Yeah, one of them left,
the other one's still working on this shitty web.
I don't know what to do about this,
but we do need to sleep.
So maybe we put it in the middle by the fire
and we all back off of it
and keep watching it through the night,
just to get a little space from it.
Are my fingers still black?
Okay.
I mean, is this something that we should
just destroy?
If we could.
From what little I know about vestiges,
they're... Flammable?
I don't think so. Ah, shit.
Oh, I mean, it's taken her this long to, like,
get into our dreams.
So I would imagine that if we destroyed it,
she'd be pretty pissed off.
So, but we can't leave it here.
So maybe we just wait for her to call us again.
Well, how is she a queen if she doesn't have her crown?
That's a valid point.
Is she like the Spider Lady now?
I don't.
Does it work that way?
I don't know that it does. I don't know.
I mean, I have a few titles, you know,
like Missed by Rodan and so, I mean, I'm still Missed by,
I don't have my crown, but I still.
That's a very good one. Right, no one can take that away from you.
No one can take it away.
Orym, I concur with your decision as well.
Thank you.
Perhaps we watch.
It's just a stopgap measure.
I don't know what to do,
but I know that thing is beyond us.
I've known it for a while.
You look at me again.
We found it together.
I'm not the one who used our magical transporting book
to send a message.
You just gotta be careful with it.
That's all I want.
Yeah.
It doesn't seem to be affecting Dariax.
I'm good.
I'll finish my watch.
Orym, rest.
I'm wide awake.
You take your rest.
Okay.
Back to back?
Back to back.
As I sit down with you, I'm like,
is she actually your sister?
What's that?
Fy'ra.
My sister, where did you get that?
She got, never mind, I misunderstood.
We're good.
Good night.
Good night.
Is he still wearing it?
No, she has it now.
We put it in the middle.
I just want to know where this fucking thing is.
Right, right. Apparently I can't track it.
It is many feet.
It is many feet.
It is many feet away from you.
And as I'm keeping watch,
I keep one hand on a vine nearby.
The vine.
You're just holding it and idly messing with it.
And it's not till everyone that is going to doze off
really commits to doing so that you feel
just the slightest curl of the vine around your hand
in a return of a gesture.
Aw.
It is good to see you too, friend.
And just a little warm gust of wind
runs over your right shoulder
in Dorian's direction as he falls asleep.
Dorian.
I'll sleep inside.
Oh, so good!
I was so immersed.
Can you make a arcana check for me?
Yes.
As you awake into darkness.
No, why?
Yeah, because we're doing it.
It's like a whole thing we're doing.
I noticed.
Oh, that'd be 11.
Yeah.
You wake up into darkness
and your body bolts upright
in the direction of Fy'ra.
And you see her standing in front of you
in the dark,
and slowly starting at the edges of your vision,
the night begins to populate with little points of light,
like multicolored stars
that seem to stretch out endlessly in every direction,
and she keeps staring at you
with those eyes that recognize you,
but they're pleading.
They're different somehow.
What do you do?
Do I have an idea that this is a dream right away?
What?
Give me just a general intelligence check.
That's a lot.
One plus one is two.
Oh, baby!
Oh, baby!
Baby!
No, you pretty!
You're so pretty!
You're so pretty!
You are not in a dream.
You know that for certain.
There's no confusion about it.
That's not quite what this space is.
And it's confusing, and as you evaluate yourself,
as well as your surroundings,
your heart is racing right now.
What do you want from me?
She doesn't respond.
She's just looking at you, waving you away
as this world of darkness closes in around her
and grabs her and pushes you from her.
Ah.
Can I push against the push?
You can certainly try.
I'm going to try to go for her.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't like her,
but I'm not going to let her get enveloped by the fucking darkness.
Go ahead and make an athletics check for me.
All right.
Aha!
17.
You push forward
and everything begins to stutter in this moment.
That's not the way that this went. That's not the way that this went.
That's not the way this is supposed to go.
You're doing something different.
It's different than what you remember.
And yet you push forward.
You can close the distance to her
and you see tendrils of black
wrapping themselves around her,
not strangling her or hurting her,
but enveloping her.
What do you do?
I am going to,
not at her, since she won't respond,
I'm just going to yell out into the darkness,
Stop!
Let her go!
Make a wisdom saving throw for me.
Make a wisdom saving throw for me.
Poo poo, four.
Oh, I'm going to get up.
Nothing replies.
And now that you're closer to Fy'ra,
you see her mouthing words, but you can't hear them.
What do you want from us?
Please.
And a voice, low, feminine.
Just.
What do you mean, what do I want?
Why are you doing this?
Because I'm bored.
Tormenting my companions and I because you're bored?
Yeah.
Duh.
Why her?
Why Fy'ra?
Why show me this?
You?
You don't remember this, do you?
A tidy little blink You don't remember this, do you?
A tidy little blank
in that perfect little head of yours.
I can see it all right here.
A legion on your memory.
Can you take it away? Do you want me to?
Ask nicely.
Please.
Please, I want to remember, please.
What will you give me?
Almost anything.
Oh, you have my interest now.
I want a champion.
Champion.
Is that why you've taken her? Is that why you're trying to take?
No, I don't give a fuck about her.
I can't touch her.
She's wrapped up in other things,
older things,
meaner things than me, I promise.
But there are others, not you, but others.
It could be you.
No one from our group.
Okay. Then who?
I like Poska.
Give me a Poska.
Poska?
Mm-hmm.
If I brought you Poska,
would you leave my friends and I alone?
Make a persuasion check for me.
Am I making a deal with the fucking devil right now?
Ah! Oh fuck, that'd be a one.
No!
Oh no!
Hurts.
Would you do it?
Would you really do it?
And you feel that like buzz,
that pins and needles of a limb falling asleep,
but it is all over you.
Yeah.
Swarmed in moral darkness.
I mean, don't lie to me.
Would you do it?
To save your friends?
Yes. I'm going to ask you above game.
Are you telling the truth right now?
Is Dorian telling the truth right now?
Yeah. Above game?
Yeah. Oh.
I don't know.
If I'm telling the truth?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd give him Posca.
I'd give her Posca.
Okay.
It's the truth.
And it gets really quiet.
And then the buzzing stops.
Oh my god.
You know what she would do.
And yet you would sacrifice all of the people of Emon to spare your friends.
Dorian, your alignment is what?
I know.
Chaotic good.
It is now chaotic neutral.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's good enough for me.
Okay.
You don't have to bring me Poska.
She's looking.
It'll take her too long to get here.
But, glad to have you on the team.
Good night.
And you feel that sense,
that presence over your shoulder
and in front of your face leaves.
And you are back in this memory,
the missing week that you back in this memory.
The missing week that you spent with this group before your adventures in Emon really started
is returned to you.
You met Fy'ra Rai before.
You met her outside of the gates
and you went into a puddle,
a place like a stopping over point between here and the Feywild.
And in that place, you fought.
And she traded herself to let all of you leave.
You were the last to go.
You fought then, like you fight now.
But at the end of the day, she was a woman of her word.
She saw your purpose and made a value judgment
and it's all there and back
and that look in her eye in this memory
in this moment frozen
you see it again
and you remember sitting around the campfire
you know that she knows
that she remembers it too
do I have the sense that it was returned to her at the same time you know that she knows, that she remembers it, too.
Do I have the sense that it was returned to her at the same time, or has she known this whole time?
She's known the whole time.
Oh fuck.
All right. And you wake up.
If you want to, you can go back to sleep.
Is she awake and still on watch?
Yep.
The sun is beginning to rise.
I'm going to look over at her.
There is still time to sleep, little brother.
I suggest you take it.
I'm just going to turn away from her
and put my head down, but I'm not going to go back to sleep.
Yeah. Yeah.
Where did you put the circlet?
My sweet, special... Where was it again?
Just remind me.
By the fire,
equidistant from all of us,
ringed around it.
Yeah.
There.
It's on,
you set it on one of the little rocks
that you use to ring the campfire,
and it's fallen off of its little plinth.
Just hasn't rolled anywhere.
It just sort of dropped off in Dorian's direction.
That's all.
Have I seen, I mean, I've been on watch.
Did I see that? Yeah, you saw it
just sort of slip down a little bit.
It's a very innocuous movement.
You can read into it as much or as little as you want.
And I'm still holding onto my vine.
Yeah.
The vine curls and wraps around back,
and gives a little squeeze.
I think it's time you showed them.
Don't you?
And the vine, from where you're holding it, as if burnt, turns black and charred
and withers and falls away.
And it's dramatic, but you know,
sometimes jungles are dramatic,
and you know that means yes.
I pushed it too far.
No, it was good. It means yes.
It was a yes, it was a yes.
It was a very dramatic yes.
You're like a fire lady.
It's trying to match your vibe.
Oh, fire.
Yeah.
Fair.
Fair.
And as the sun finally gets high enough in the sky
to break through the canopy
and for light to hit you all, you awaken.
I need a perception check from everyone in the group.
14.
Okay.
All right, welcome to Double Deed's session.
I'm a rat!
Oh crap, you!
Come on, I got me some breakfast pie.
I am easy for all grown up.
Nine.
23.
19.
14.
15.
Still the lowest, though, it's fine, it's fine.
Oh.
No, there's a nine over here. Okay, yeah. I feel better.
You're good.
Thanks, Dorian.
Dorian, you are so caught up
in the realization that you've made
that you don't really sense the difference.
For the rest of you, there's a pressure,
almost like humidity in the air,
and the jungle seems different now
as you pack up and head farther south.
And you only are on the road for maybe 30 minutes
before the way becomes impassable
and you're going to have to leave the wagon behind
and go by foot.
Not Gilmore's Glory glitter-shitter wagon.
Sorry, Gilmore.
It will be safe here.
And maybe it's for the better, you know?
Because this is pretty visible.
Right.
Just out of general curiosity,
you seem to know the jungle okay.
Is the jungle going to eat the horses?
Probably.
I don't know who to believe.
I think if we learn anything about Gilboa,
it's possible that his horses
would know their way back home.
I look at the horses.
I look at them and go,
can you folks find your way back home?
The horses, hmm.
Make an arcana check for me.
You are determining if these horses are magic or not.
My discerning experience
with the arcane arts at a 10.
All right. Oh boy.
Still a double digit.
Yeah, I will count the double digit.
Honestly, that's very high for you.
We're grading on a curve.
Yeah, fair, everybody gets a medal, come on!
The horses are just,
they look really blandly at you.
And then a couple seconds pass
and you see a glimmer of intelligence
and a ruse dropped a little bit
as their shoulders straighten up
and they look at you.
And you get a little headbutt from the one on the left.
And they just, of their own volition,
start backing the wagon up and turning it
and heading out of the jungle.
Oh, what do you know about that?
Best grab anything that you need out of there.
Yeah, I don't know if you unpacked.
Are we all scrambling to get our shit out? Yeah.
I'm running behind it, trying to get my glitter diaper
off the bat. Covered in glitter!
Jesus!
Look how pretty you look.
You're covered in five minutes' worth of glitter.
As they ride away, there's a single tear down
on Dariax's cheek. He's like,
Oh.
I had a connection for a second there.
I saw that. That was beautiful.
Yeah, I don't know what it means.
I've never touched a horse before.
Anyone have anything for this humidity?
I mean, my hair just has never looked worse.
I'm sorry.
You're not wrong.
It's just very large now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She puts it in a braid.
I'm afraid that I can't help you with this hair.
Lucky.
Dorian.
You look a little different. Dorian. Hm? You look a little different.
Glitter.
It's not the glitter.
Did you sleep okay?
I slept all right.
No more Spider Woman dreams or anything?
No.
Good.
That does beg the question, who grabbed the circlet?
We're still there, right?
We haven't left.
No, you guys are going for a little bit.
We're just retconning.
It's 30 minutes later, but we're.
I'd probably grab it,
just because I've been the one who's been holding it.
Nice.
You have the mule.
Noted.
Put it back and sandwich it between two.
We've only got two pies left, guys.
I'm sorry, I thought I bought more for a longer journey,
but we're all hungry hippos over here, so.
I feel like these pies have seen their better days.
These are good for at least two weeks.
Oh no.
Mm, wow. I don't think so.
Dariax? Yeah?
May I try a pie?
And I'm going to approach him.
Oh, totally. I got a...
Actually, I don't remember what these are.
One of them's probably chicken. Ugh. Ugh. I got a... Actually, I don't remember what these are. One of them's probably chicken.
Ugh. Ugh.
I'm not interested in pie.
Nothing happened. How do I feel?
Fine. Fuck.
All right.
I'll take a fish.
Did you get one of the fish ones?
Oh. No, no.
Weirdly enough, those don't last quite as long,
so I got rid of those yesterday.
But the other one I have down there is a current,
kind of like a, come on, give me,
and it kind of like falls apart in my hand.
I'm like, I don't know.
Just, thank you.
It's fine.
Do we notice?
Oh, that's not, I'm not going to make you roll for that.
You can decide.
I'm leaning towards yes,
but if you want to play it dumb, that's.
Okay.
All you, baby.
Okay.
I see it. I'm not going to say anything.
Is there a physical change in him,
or is it just a feeling?
Just a feeling. Oh.
You just don't see him reacting, obviously,
negatively to being in proximity.
He used to vomit black.
Yeah, and sometimes the juices come out of his body.
So big, huh?
I don't see anything.
Let's go, buddy!
Yeah!
Unbothered!
Wow.
So you're not sick or anything?
Huh.
No.
Maybe we don't have as much to worry about
as we thought we did.
Yeah.
Good night's sleep does a solid good job.
Maybe just some space from it.
Maybe that's what it took.
Yeah, but he's eating something that was touching it,
so I don't think so.
I don't know what the rules are for pie.
That's true.
And ultimate corruption.
Pie's pretty powerful.
Yeah.
Fear, you know this jungle.
You want to point us in the right direction?
We're already moving in the right direction.
Oh, perfect, great.
We're not moving yet. Are we moving?
We are now. Okay, let's move.
I was assuming a Sorkin walk and talk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vibe.
Apologies, that was so not yes and.
I really should have been that. No! Bye. Apologies, that was so not yes and. I really should have been there.
No, no.
I like to imagine it's funnier
that they've been walking this whole time,
but he's been so in his head that Dariax didn't realize
with this moment that they've been walking this whole time.
He's like, oh, you're right, yeah, we have been walking.
Wow.
We've not been walking in circles, at least.
So, you know this jungle?
We're on a boat.
This is not a jungle, it's an airplane!
Okay.
It is.
Yes, indeed, I'm so good at improv.
I know, yeah.
All right, Fy'ra, normally a survival check
is for the leader to see if they can discern
the right way to go, But you know better than anyone else
that that's not the point of this next stretch.
So I need everyone to make a survival check.
You survived.
Easy.
Let me know if you get below a five
and thank you in advance if you do.
No. No.
No, just barely.
13.
Okay.
Seven. Okay.
10. 18.
11.
Six.
Ooh!
Yay!
Yes!
Still with us?
Woo!
Pew, pew, pew.
Just got a little bit of dysentery.
Oh no, Mary Jean got cholera.
Everybody gets it?
No, we all got it. Oh yeah.
We are the Oregon Trojan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh!
We were all in the computer lab together.
Absolutely.
Green pixels.
You cock your wagon and float it.
You shot four tons of meat.
So you all walk for some time
and the jungle becomes more and more impassable before you,
and you're now climbing on all fours,
navigating the brush.
And you all remember why you're here, right?
What you're looking for?
I feel like Opal has forgotten, to be honest.
Looking for a Rosetta stone.
The thing is, Rune?
The ruins?
Ruin or Rune?
We need to find the Rosetta.
Something to help us understand
what was back with the Fire Ashari.
Yeah. Oh god,
that seems like 400 years ago.
Glad we reminded the group
because you hit a clearing,
and in front of you, a strange pile of rock and rubble.
Unnatural, manmade, with a singular column
on top of it, natural, manmade, with a singular column
on top of it, carved intricately in runes that you cannot read.
And that's where we're going to take our break.
Ooh!
Yeah, okay.
Ooh!
Yay! Yay!
It's time for a challenge!
It's time for a challenge! It's time for a challenge!
All right, we will be back in just a moment.
Don't go away.
This is Matthew Mercer.
If you're enjoying the adventures of Exandria Unlimited
and want to support the show,
be sure to check out merchandise on the Critical Role shops.
Links to all of our regional online stores
can be found at critrole.com.
And we return back to it.
You all have been traveling through the jungles of the Rife and Mist Peninsula now for who can say how long.
But as Fiorai correctly beseeched the jungle, it was time. And so you find yourselves here at the first clearing
in this heavily wooded jungle
that you've seen in days on foot.
Before you, a rocky plinth, and on top of it,
a shard, an obelisk flat, carved with runes
that you don't recognize.
You can't read, but you certainly recognize.
So what do you want to do?
Is this it?
You tell me.
Am I supposed to tell you?
Looks like it. Sure looks like it.
I believe you have been looking for something, no?
We're trying to find anything that can help us decipher.
Is it similarly marked up
to what we saw back with the fire show?
Make a perception check for me.
That is a 17.
Yes, there's a size to these runes.
They're fat and intricate,
and you see several of them written down the front.
We saw something like this.
I don't know what this is.
Can any of you make heads or tails of it?
No.
Did you write down the...
This may have nothing to do with this,
but I think you wrote down the rune?
Yes, so I pull out the thing,
and it's, is it a rubbing?
I don't remember, or maybe I just drew it.
It was rubbing, yeah.
But does it, I don't know, does it look like it?
Same language?
How many symbols, roughly, are on this obelisk?
You're pretty far away,
but you can see at least a dozen down the front
in very big lettering,
and you can't tell if there's more written on it.
And look, go ahead.
Let me have a look.
They look the same?
The expert.
Amazing.
Can you make just a general intelligence roll for me,
my good dude?
Seven.
Yeah.
Same shape, but not quite the same.
Like, same letter family,
but there's no immediate match.
Yeah, I'm sorry to report,
it's different.
Thanks.
Should we try to get closer
and maybe write these down as well?
One sec.
Orym starts to curve to the right
and move like 40 feet away from it,
a perimeter around and see if there's anything
that we haven't seen already on different sides or.
Vibes.
I'm not going to sit here and count up a little bit,
because this is a visual representation.
But as you start to circumnavigate it,
can you make a nature check from me?
It's a natural 20.
Ooh! Oh!
Oh, hi.
Better than normal, you begin to slide over,
and this clearing, there's something about it,
and you're so deeply, you're not a druid,
but when you're raised, you know,
it's nature versus nurture.
Nope, that didn't come out right.
But as you go around,
there's something unnatural about all of this.
And then as you slide towards one of these
very big fern-looking plants,
you see it twitches just a little bit in your direction.
Do you continue to walk?
Not towards anything that's twitching.
Yeah.
Dang, natural twitching are fun.
The plants here, those very big ferns,
have you ever heard of a man trap in your times
studying and traveling the world, Orym?
I spent a lot of time amongst druids, so yeah.
You recognize that this pattern
of the way that they're outlaid
and circling this very specific plinth
with what you believe is the exact thing you need.
It's just, it's hitting every red flag
and you've been traveling with a bunch of red flags
the whole time.
So the fact that it's rising above the noise floor
is pretty impressive.
Is there anything else you would like to know
I'd want to offer you?
No, but I will stage whisper to the group,
don't touch anything willy-nilly.
I think that the plants are dangerous.
What, like poisonous?
I thought you said there's nothing
to worry about in the jungle.
And I went to speak when I heard him say that,
and then she just kept her mouth shut.
Is she telling the truth?
Has she been lying to us this whole time?
More like mobile.
I'm sorry.
I don't like being perceived.
I know we've been traveling for a long time to get here,
but can someone remind me what the hell we're here for?
I mean, I know we're supposed to use this as a decoder,
but for what?
For the rune that was on top of the mountain
and the ash hole.
Oh, the ash hole.
Yes.
I need to translate the ash hole.
I think that's why we should get closer
and try to write down what's on this obelisk.
Okay.
Shing.
Oh.
I'm going to take Orm's lead,
except I'm going to go on the,
like a crescent moon mirror him on the other side.
Okay?
And as he pulls out his sword,
I just watch him, slightly concerned, but say nothing. Okay. And as he pulls out his sword, I just watch him, slightly concerned, but say nothing.
Okay.
Give me a nature check
and go ahead and make...
I just keep making you do wisdom saves the whole time,
because that's all I know.
Make a religion check for me.
11.
Oh.
13.
With an 11, you start to move in the other direction
and you heard a general warning about the plants,
but you're not necessarily sure about which ones
to look out for until you get within about 30 feet
of one of these big open ferns
and a cloud of pollen shoots up into the air.
Need you to make a dexterity saving throw.
Sure.
Oh, thank god, something okay, 14.
Something okay.
The moment you see it happen,
that triggers that right sense
and you immediately back up.
Okay.
Which plant was that?
Or are we not just any plant?
Something in my field of view.
Oh, okay, okay.
As he typically is, Orym's right.
Careful, they're spewing something into the air.
Fy'ra, while they're talking
and investigating the situation,
you hear a voice.
There's nothing to reach out for,
just a warm breeze circling this place,
moving towards you, and
it's time.
I need to know if they can pass
and see the truth or not.
They may not show it as clearly as some,
but these are not,
these are good-hearted ones,
and they will do right by you,
and they will do right by this world.
We'll see.
And the breeze goes a little cold.
My friends, set your intentions wisely in this place.
How do you mean? What do you mean?
Whatever is in your heart,
this place will know.
I cannot tell you more.
I think I don't know what to do.
Should we just?
Maybe make a rubbing of this as well.
It's a lot of rubbing.
Don't have anything to write on.
Oh, you have your paper.
We'll just let.
Sure. Maybe if you don't want it. I'm going to continue on. Oh, you have your paper. We'll just let... Sure. I mean, if you don't want it.
I'm going to continue on my path,
but sort of circumvent the spewing thing
and try to get close enough to like,
make out at least 50% of the obelisk.
So you're getting closer?
Much closer, yeah.
All right.
I want it like close enough to where I can,
I don't know how big the runes are.
What's my eyesight like?
Do I need glasses?
Close enough to where I can, I don't know how big the runes are. What's my eyesight like? Do I need glasses?
Close enough to where I can make out the writing or that's what I'm attempting to do.
Okay. I'm going to say just sort of
in ominous D&D language,
you got to get within about 30 feet to see it.
Fuck.
I'm making my way there.
All right.
Make your way back.
How far are we from the thing in feet?
Oh, this is a general approximation.
I'm just trying to give you a visual cue.
If it becomes a thing that we need to adjudicate,
you'll know.
Yeah.
After?
No, after it's happening. I try to do some shit.
Okay.
Wait.
I was going to do something, but. I got a plan.
Okay, what's the plan?
So these things seem to know
when you're getting close, right?
That's why I went and spewed the dust stuff?
I've never encountered them before.
Are these plants evil, Fevervac?
Don't lie to me, I'll know.
My friend,
there is nothing good or evil here.
Good enough. Other than.
All right.
Oh my.
I'm going to go ahead. Let her finish.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think I've just been mansplained in my own place.
Mantraps do do that.
Sorry.
So they're not good or even, what are they then?
Just? Hungry?
Oh.
So you got stuff for this rubbing?
I have stuff.
I'm going to write it down.
I cannot rub an entire 10-foot obelisk.
But maybe.
I could try. Never say never.
This is a big mistake. I could certainly try.
If anyone's up to the task.
I didn't mean for it to be this way.
Do we ever, though?
Does it ever really start with what we mean for it to be?
The rubblisk.
Look, look, just trust me.
I don't.
I'll help you.
I'll help you go get this rubbing.
All right.
Just let me touch you.
All right.
And I cast Invisibility on him.
Oh!
Okay. Interesting.
All right.
Well, one good turn deserves another.
Oh no.
And I cast Invisibility on you.
Thus breaking your invisibility.
No! You don't know how to use it!
Ah!
Fuck! You don't know how to use it! Fuck!
You're invisible now.
And I just look down and take my hand.
Sorry, I didn't know that's how it worked.
You have the spell, right?
Fuck! You are responsible
for that information, my dude.
Goddamn it. All right.
Oh my god.
So now I'm no longer,
you're not invisible because of the cast.
Hit me with your stuff, hit me with your stuff.
It's the first time I've ever done that, Dariax.
Me too!
Oh my, do you think you are capable?
Oh, totally.
Of writing down these letters?
Probably.
Oh god. All right.
Opal, give him the paper and pen.
Do you want me to do it?
No, he's already invisible.
Okay, here.
Well, where are you?
Here, down there.
Okay, fine.
And now since I wasn't holding him at the time, I'll just, there. Okay, fine.
And now since I wasn't holding him at the time,
there's just a floating
bit of paper in writing.
No! Amazing.
I'm just looking up.
So you're just making your way downtown?
I'm making my way.
Like, straight shot?
Well, I mean, yeah.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Hate it.
Don't worry, I got this.
Don't step on any plants.
All right, I'm going to offer you,
no, no, no, no, just make a,
just an intelli, nah, nope.
You just walk forward.
Yeah.
And you see as two man traps give up their pollen
because they don't need to see you,
because they're plants.
Right, no, I get it. Do not have eyes.
Yeah, I know!
I'm just explaining for anyone
that's going to get at me in the comments
with why this went badly. No, no, fair enough.
All you hear is Jarek's go, well, that's going to get at me in the comments with why this went badly. No, no, fair enough. All you hear is Darius go,
well, that's not fair!
Please make a wisdom saving throw for me.
For each of them or just the one?
Yeah, for two of them.
All right, and...
Hell yeah.
Nine and 11.
Oh my god.
Well, one of them you just
and shrug off, but the one to your right, the smell of it,
I can only describe it like fruity pebbles
or a Froot Loop, just the most delicious non-fruit
you've ever smelled, perhaps in lotion form,
and you make a beeline toward it.
You watch as the floating pad just goes like,
carefully, right to one of the plants.
Would anyone like to do anything
as he is in a full sprint towards a big plant?
We don't see him, right?
You see the bouncing paper.
I run straight at him while dodging any plants
and kick him, jump with the long starter boots
and just plant my feet into his chest and kick him down.
Okay.
You know what?
Where's my chest?
I don't know!
I crushed my butt!
I'm going to say this has to be an acrobatics check.
I'm going to make the DC pretty high for you to avoid,
can you get a leap out before hitting that barrier
which the plants would clock you to.
Okay.
So go ahead and make an acrobatics check for me.
That is a 22.
Well, well dang.
Well dang. Yeah.
You little flea just bloop
outside of its range and sphere.
And go ahead and make an attack roll for me,
with disadvantage.
Because, I mean, you kind of know where he is,
but you don't know if he's running with it behind him.
He would, too.
Not if they're running. Up in the air.
Is this an unarmed strike?
This is an unarmed strike.
Good.
I rolled real high.
That is 23 to hit.
Oh my god.
Does that meet your armor class?
Yeah, I'm going to say you can get him center mass,
like dead in the chest.
Yeah, I see a paper going like this,
and I aim for that, and my foot plants against the paper,
goes against the solid surface,
and then he bounces back and lands six feet away.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You okay?
Fy'ra just looks down and chuckles.
Go ahead and make another wisdom saving throw for me.
Natural 20.
Oh my god!
Baby!
That's some sense into me.
Yes! You paced the sternum.
The logic into his sternum,
and it resonated within you
to not head for the Fruity Pebble plant.
As I say, by the way, avoid the Fruity Pebble plants.
But it's still Fruity Pebbles.
It's so good.
All right, sorry, distraction.
Pick up my things.
Yeah. Get closer.
There's more of them.
But I know what they're about now.
So I'm going to be very stealthy.
Okay.
Go ahead, make a stealth check.
Okay.
Do I get advantage because I'm invisible?
Sure, yeah, okay, okay.
Barely helped.
Nine. Okay.
Back at it. All right.
Guys, I got this covered, don't you worry.
Are we all just watching this transpire?
I've got to say, if anyone,
Peanut Gallery, please make just a general intelligence check for me.
I want to do something.
Ooh!
Oh, great.
Wait, where's intelligence?
11. Little old seven.
Oh, okay. 14.
14.
That's a 21.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Both Dorian and Opal,
you've been watching and trying to figure out what to do.
And then it doms on you.
These things don't have eyes!
He can't, there's no sneak!
Okay, no sneaking!
What? He's going.
No sneaking!
Wait, can I try something?
Yeah, what do you want to do?
I want to try to,
can I form a cloud with Dreadcraft?
With rain that rains?
That's a bit intense for a cantrip.
Well, maybe just a cloud above the one he's close to.
Make an arcana check for me.
It's a stretch, but I kind of like it.
Why not? It's a spicy flex.
20. Yeah, I'll give that to you.
You make a little rain cloud.
Okay, I make a rain cloud.
Oh, I got it. A little foot-sized rain little rain cloud. Okay, I make a rain cloud. Oh, I got it. A little foot-sized rain cloud.
How about this?
I make a rain cloud.
Opal, this is going to fuck you up,
but it's going to save your life.
So I'm going to make a rain cloud over Dariax, over him.
So wherever he goes, it's raining.
So maybe the pollen can't get to him.
That's what Opal's thinking.
It may not work, but that's what she's thinking.
You hear me say,
Opal, they can see where I am now!
They know where you are!
Yeah, I know, thanks! No, but they don't have sense,
because no, they just know.
Okay, it was an idea.
It was an idea. It might help if the pollen come.
Washes it away?
Yeah, washes the pollen away.
I'm almost there, hold on.
You keep moving forward.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
But it is raining over him.
It is raining over him.
11. Okay.
You keep moving forward and you get within 30 feet
of those plants surrounding the plants
and they don't go off,
but you do hear a voice in your head.
There's been a lot of voices in your head lately.
This place is full of ladies with opinions and questions.
What do you want?
To draw a picture of the Thing on the Rock. Why?
Because we have, there's a big mountain with a big,
it's hard to explain.
We met a cool guy back in the city who needed to know
if this could help him understand a picture
of another rune thing that was on a mountain
that we need to know to help our friend
who is trying to get help from the Fire Friends.
I'm not sure why I lost the thread of that
as you were talking.
We're not going to do anything.
We're not breaking any stone. We're not going to do anything.
We're not breaking any stone.
We're not hurting any plants.
We just need to draw a picture real fast.
Is he speaking?
Is he speaking out loud? He is responding out loud.
Okay, and now I am extremely engaged in watching.
And what if I told you no?
What would you do then?
I mean, I'd be sad and disappointed, to be honest.
We came all this way and we've been through a lot of trouble
and we're not stopping or being a problem to anybody, you know?
You could go farther.
Like, go farther?
What if I told you that there was more?
More than this.
A place of knowledge
that has been lost for so long.
Would you keep going or would you stop here?
I look back at the rest of the group.
Don't see me looking back.
The rain cloud shifts just a little bit.
Would it help them?
I think so.
Yeah, probably keep going.
Okay.
Then keep going.
But can I also draw the picture of this thing while I'm here?
Yeah, if you really want to.
Okay, cool. I'm going to do that. Thank you.
And you keep moving forward,
and you can get up to the plinth.
Okay.
And you all see him step onto this,
and what you are standing in front of is, yes, like a 10-foot thing.
It's covered in this ancient runic writing.
You can write down as much as you want.
Take a rubbing if you really want to.
I hate saying it out loud.
But you don't see any writing in any other language.
Just whatever this is.
All right, all right. Well, give me just a second.
All right, I'm at the stone.
What do you see?
A lot of writing.
Did you write it all down?
I'm working on it.
It's a lot of writing.
I haven't written this much probably ever. Hold on.
Be sure to get it in the right order.
Fearne, what do you want?
Hmm?
Mister just sort of is looking up at you
and tugs on your shirt and just gestures around.
Oh.
Oh.
What do I want?
Well, I want lots of things.
Are you talking big picture or small?
Why are you here?
Well, um, I guess we're looking for a translator of sorts.
Um, we're looking for the Rosetta Stone.
Um.
That's not it.
It's not it.
It's not? No.
There is more.
Where is it?
Farther.
What is this?
A piece.
A lie.
To protect the truth that I hide here.
Oh.
That's very smart.
Would you,
would you let us pass so we could see it?
Perhaps.
What if I, what will you do if I...
What will you do if I don't let you through?
Well, I guess there's not much we could do
because I don't know where you are.
And I guess all we could do is just take the information from this stone that's, I guess, is a lie.
The stone's not a lie.
The ruins are a lie.
Oh.
So what we're seeing is not what's real?
It's not what's left.
There is more.
But I have to know if you're worthy of it.
So why are you here?
Why are you here?
You've traveled so far.
I'm here because we're just trying to
help people, I guess.
There's lots of problems going on in the world.
I don't know if you know.
So we're just trying to help, I guess.
I'm sure many in this group are worthy,
so we don't all have to go.
I will ask.
Thank you.
Dorian, why are you here?
Get away from that plant.
Oh my god. Sorry, sorry.
My friend is here,
and we're copying the runes?
Is that wrong?
No.
Is it enough?
I don't know.
Then why are you here?
It's where we were told to go.
I believe.
If I stop you here, if I turn you back,
what will you do?
What will I do?
Would we have what we need?
I suppose I wouldn't care. Would we have what we need?
Suppose I wouldn't care.
But if you tried to stop us
from what we were set out to do,
I don't think we'd allow it.
You feel a breeze ruffle your clothing.
It's a little playful and a little mean, and I need you to make a strength saving throw.
Good thing I'm super strong.
Deuce is strong!
30, 20. Oh yeah.
You feel that it would have been enough
to push you off of your feet
if you hadn't been so tensed up during this interaction.
And it's specifically wind?
Yeah, just a little breeze.
Almost done, Dariax.
Still rubbing.
Working on it, it's coming on.
It's a lot of writing.
It's a very big stone.
It looks a lot bigger up close.
It's far away, it's very small.
Up close, very big stone.
Got it, got it.
All right.
Opal.
Ted?
No. Oh. Opal. Ted? No.
Oh.
Yes?
Why are you both here?
Both?
Who?
You and Ted.
Oh, Ted's not here.
No, I look just like Ted, but it is,
well, I'm prettier than Ted, but she's not here.
No, it's just me.
No, that's not true.
I mean, is she here?
Ted!
Don't yell. You don't have to yell.
This is like a peaceful moment.
Oh, sorry.
Lady and a god. Wild. Tight.
Oh, sorry.
No, you're good.
I don't know what plant you're smoking,
but Ted's not here.
I... Okay.
What did you ask me?
Why are you both here?
Okay, again, it's just me, and I'm here.
Again, I'm a fucking goddess, so.
Oh my god, you're a goddess?
Yeah, I'm the Wild Mother. What? Did you not goddess, so. Oh my god, you're a goddess?
Yeah, I'm the Wild Mother.
What? Did you not figure that out?
What?
Ugh. Stop.
Yeah, what?
Okay, I have questions.
Where is Ted?
If I answer your question, will you finally answer mine?
What was your question?
Why are you here?
I'm here because it's an assignment.
We're on a mission.
I'm getting that answer a lot.
It meant on a spiritual level.
Oh, because I want to make a name for myself.
Just you?
Yeah.
Well, in the squad, we don't have a name yet, but we will.
Where do you think Ted is right now? I don't know, probably in a library somewhere.
That's not true.
That's not what you think.
Where do you think Ted is right now?
I don't know.
Maybe that's what I'm scared of.
I don't know.
Make a religion check.
And 10.
You look down and the grasses that you're standing in,
sort of at the far edge of this clearing,
there's dew on it and it seems to sparkle brightly.
And as it glints up at you in your eye,
there's a moment where you leave yourself
and your vision turns inward
and you see for just half a heartbeat, Ted standing there,
staring at someone that's staring at her.
And then you come back.
Goddess?
Mm-hmm? Did I swallow Ted?
It's honestly an easier way to explain it, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Get her out!
I can't, I can't!
No, no, don't barf in me!
I don't want Ted in here.
I don't want her in here.
The whole point of this is so that I could have my own life.
You're at the beginning of something
even more dangerous than where you are now.
But you have to keep going to see it through,
to see her again.
Well, I just saw her. To get what you want.
It was a vision.
I gave you a vision for a second.
Wow, wild.
Girl, you good?
No, I swallowed my twin.
That's not quite, okay.
That's fair. It's a little jarring.
Yeah.
So what are we going to do about it?
I mean, you're a goddess, so tell us.
I'm not the one that created this.
And I cannot solve it for you.
The rune?
We're just trying to get some answers.
Yeah, I know.
Okay. But there's even more answers. Yeah, I know. Okay.
But there's even more answers if you just keep going.
Okay, well, we're going to keep going.
We'll just, you know, he'll do his thing
and we'll keep going.
What direction?
In.
Okay.
Orym of the Air Ashari, why are you here?
And this is just pervading our entire consciousness
when this happens?
You specifically, give me a wisdom saving throw.
17.
You look forward and you're looking out
across the clearing and you see at the far edge the wind
picks up bits of detritus, moss
and leaves and swirls
it up and it almost
looks like a humanoid
figure staring out across
at you. And the voice is
in your ear, yes, but your eye is drawn
there and the little beam of sunlight
that illuminates it
across the glade.
A few reasons.
You've traveled so far.
Maybe.
You've never looked back.
I haven't figured it out yet.
That's good.
The world is big and wide and terrifying and bright,
and you're never going to figure it all out.
All you can do is take one foot,
put it in front of the other and keep going.
Or am I of so much,
I would have you see.
Will you keep going?
For him, I will.
For them, I will.
The leaves overhead begin to fall The leaves overhead begin to fall
and they gather on the hilt of your sword
and just settle there.
They don't fall away and you feel something warm there.
What do you do?
I think he's just overcome part of the beauty of it.
A breeze, light and pleasant,
sort of swirls around you,
carrying that weird Froot Loop smell.
I put that in the world.
And it just sort of holds you there in this moment.
Keep going, Orym.
Okay.
And you're simply held in that as Dariax.
Yeah, you go ahead and make a intelligence check for me.
Let's see how good you did.
You have advantage because I gave you plenty of time
as I interrogated the group.
14. 14.
Okay.
There were hundreds of symbols.
I paraphrased.
Respect. You got the big ones in the center.
Yeah, the ones that looked important.
Yeah, you got all the big kids there.
Up, down, down, left, right, left, right?
Yeah.
B-A-B.A. start.
And you pull it back, realizing that you have this large piece of runes,
but no real answers.
But the way is open to you.
And you look back and you can see Fy'ra.
What are you doing right now?
I've been clocking as each one of them,
I've seen them talking quietly,
whether I've been hearing their conversations or not,
depending on the distance,
I've been just clocking their own personal reactions.
Smiling. Little bit concerned with that one's snark.
And now I'm back on him.
My invisible floating pad.
All right, I did it.
Solved the riddle.
Head on back.
All right.
Can you do the...
I'm still invisible, if you want to.
As you step down off of it,
make a perception check for me.
Me? Mm-hmm.
All right.
Four.
I don't know why I gasped.
I know what's coming.
You step down off of the rocks and near the man traps.
These two don't immediately poof up with pollen,
but they seem to close in on themselves a little bit.
And then you hear her voice one more time.
Attest.
Keep going.
And from around the back
of this big plinth,
a massive mossy crocodile,
giant fey with rows upon rows of shark-like teeth
sort of waddles around and looks at you.
Do you drop your invisibility?
Have you asked me to do it yet?
I think I was like, yeah, drop the thing.
And do I see this crocodile come behind him?
Yeah, I'm going to say that's pretty big
and everyone can see it.
But do I see it with a four?
Nope.
So I'm just like, I finished it!
And you still asked me to drop it?
I was like, I don't think you want me
to drop the invisibility right now!
I finished the job.
Turn around!
Oh, it's too late, man.
And with a big snap at you,
I need everyone to roll initiative.
Yay!
They're screaming and everything.
All right, I'll put you roughly right.
Oh no!
Too late.
I'm the worst. I'm going to say
you're actually about here.
Make that come up.
You said you were supposed to go this way.
Oh, right, I have initiative.
Advantage. I'm going to clutch something.
I'm going to give you, like, anything.
Anything?
Yeah.
Crocodile.
Cockadoo.
Cockadoo. It's fine.
I got it.
I got it.
Ooh. You did great. Not a problem. I'm going to go be here. Cockadoo. It's fine. I got it. I got it.
You did great.
Cockadoo.
You're the cockadoo.
Can I say, as I,
Oh god.
as we've all seen this crocodile business?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As it waddles around, I'm like,
oh, did he do that badly?
Yeah, everybody but that reacts.
And you hear a little sigh.
No.
All right, anyone?
Ooh, hold on, let me roll a nine.
Fives.
All right, 21 to 25.
Ooh.
No, sorry, sorry, sorry, 20, 20, 20.
All right, I'll give the 20.
That's fine, that's fine, that's fine.
Okay.
Anyone? I can never do this math.
15 to 19.
Oh yes, 19.
17.
15.
I like this dance
I got a little initiative
Wait who got a 17?
I did
Nice
10 to 14
Oh
He's like pooping behind a bush or something
Yeah I was busy.
Yeah, how you doing?
What you up to, Fearne?
I got four.
You got four? Yeah.
Okay.
I'm a nine.
Woo, buddy!
Okay.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Just a giant crocodile.
Oh my god.
Being from Florida, I have seen,
well, alligators, not quite the same, but.
Yeah, a little bit different.
Also being from Florida. Super different.
Little, little, little, little.
Little different.
Also being from Florida. Just flip them over.
They're the worst. They're the worst.
So is Florida.
Sorry. I know.
Can confirm?
Okay, Fy'ra, you're up first.
Yes, so I am going to run up to
and over the shoulder of Dariax,
just behind him.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, Fy'ra.
And one hand on his-
Whoa, careful, the plants might-
One hand on his back, and I say,
remember what was told to you.
Seek in your heart, follow your plans.
And I just hold, and I'm going to hold,
and if the crocodile makes any action,
I've got my hand on his back to yank him
or move him or adjust him.
Well, let me be very, very clear.
The crocodile is going to do an action.
Oh, I know. Okay.
But I can hold and like,
I want to see how he does. I'm saying you're going to hold.
Yeah, all right. You know what I mean?
I want to protect him without,
I want to protect him without hurting it.
Okay. Without involving myself.
The plant that had been holding back
before all of this started releases a poof of pollen
and I need both of you to make wisdom saving throws.
All right.
Yep.
Is it not being rained on? 17.
Does that help?
Okay, you're good.
I feel like that should help.
Two of them, you said? Or just one? No, just one.
Just one?
Dirty one.
Booty!
All right, so as I see that happen,
can I use my action as I see that happen?
Yeah, because he's going to do a lean.
As I see that happen, and he's, yeah,
I just see the paper starting to go
in the wrong direction and the poof,
and I was like, nevermind, I have you.
And I'm going to grab him and literally just toss him
out of the way, as far away from those plants as possible.
I'm gonna toss you.
All right, go ahead.
I'm gonna do a little tossing.
Yeah, it do be that way sometimes.
Go ahead and make a athletics check.
Are you gonna let this happen?
I'm not gonna say no to her.
All right, you can fight it if you want.
I know better than that.
13 plus six is 19. All right, so as you are leaning in,
yeah, you're able to pick him up
and move him bodily.
I don't think you've got a good throw in,
but you can get him to the other side of the aisle.
Just enough to get him away from the spores.
Yeah, absolutely.
Sweet, what else do you want to do?
What else do I have?
That's an action, and that's my movement and my action,
or what I have, right?
So I have a bonus action.
Can I hold my bonus action and use later?
Nope.
Nope, all right.
In that case, I say it out loud,
don't make me do this, In that case, I say it out loud,
don't make me do this,
and I just punch the crocodile.
Yeah, make an attack roll, let's go.
Punch the crocodile.
Punch it on its snute.
Pop, pop. Pop, pop.
17.
17 hits.
Roll your damage.
Ugh!
You did it!
Bottle crew, right!
Wait.
Two plus three, five.
Okay.
I'm a little thrown by having to punch a crocodile.
That happens. So you just punched it with your hands?
I just punched it with my, I don't have my staff.
I have no, I'm not taking out my weapons.
Sweet. All right.
It recoils like.
Dang.
I know, I know.
Doesn't seem off put by, he's not a shark,
even though he has a lot of teeth.
I know, I know. And it's going to be fun
in a second. Okay.
That's you. Opal, you're up.
Okay, I'm going to scream at everyone.
Get it on its back!
I know what to do with crocodiles.
They can't turn over!
And then...
Hold on, roll a deception check on me.
Is that true? That's true!
I'm from Florida, I know these things.
That is a, what'd you say?
Deception. That's a 13.
I don't believe you, but we'll see how it goes.
Google it! Tight, tight, tight.
Okay, so, okay.
Are you sure that's not a turtle?
You got it! Yeah, I know.
I feel like you're so.
If this is true, I love you so even more
than I already do. Someone leave that.
She's Googling.
Yeah, okay.
Get it on the back and you get less.
Ashley, inspiration for actually looking this up.
Thank you.
They get docile when you do that.
Oh yeah. They do.
That's a puppy!
Girl, just wait.
Okay.
Wait, all right.
Hold on, you keep doing your action.
Well, I was going to wait to see if that's true.
Okay, we'll wait on this.
Come back around.
First thing that comes up is fainting gators.
Okay, all right.
What? I'm going to assume
that that's true because of my knowledge of living,
you know, around these things. And I am going to, that that's true because of my knowledge of living, you know, around these things.
And I am going to, do I have a clear shot anywhere?
Well, how about this? You have a perfect shot.
Oh, perfect shot.
I'm going to get it. Not wrong.
Not wrong! I hate it.
Hate to have learned it. I see alligator.
I see alligator, but if you put it on its back,
after 15, 20 seconds, the alligator goes limp
and becomes unresponsive.
There you go.
So four rounds. Keep it on its back for four rounds.
You have a mission.
Okay. Tonic immobility.
There you go.
So widespread in the animal kingdom,
we know surprisingly little about it.
Thank you, Melora.
Wild!
Bah-bah!
The Wild Mother's like,
I am freaking out right now.
This is nuts.
Okay, so I'm going to cast Hexblade's Curse on it first.
And then I'm going to also cast, can I do this?
Eldritch Blast at one of its feet
so that it could flip over.
Like when you go for a tire so that the car flips.
Yeah, this is a disaster, but Opal thinks this way.
So yeah. Vibes.
Go ahead and make a, yeah, make an attack roll.
Okay.
Oh, wait, do I have a special thing here?
Yes, 18.
Yeah, an 18 hits.
Great.
And now.
Go ahead and roll your damage.
I mean, hello.
Oh, here we go.
It's rolling. A 13. I mean, hello? Oh, here we go. It's rolling.
A 13.
All right.
13 points of damage as you hit it in the leg
and it buckles because it's not a tire.
And turns and snaps in your direction,
but keeps moving forward
in order to do a crunch on Dariax.
Damn it.
Sorry, Dariax. Anything else?
I don't think I can do anything else. That's good.
Do you want to move anywhere?
No. Do you want to get in range
of one of these very cool plants that I have?
No, thanks. You sure?
Yeah. All right, Vibes.
That's fine.
All right, my big boy is going to come up
and attempt to do a pair of crunches.
One on Fira, one on Dariax.
Did you drop the invisibility on me or did you keep it up? a pair of cronches, one on Fy'ra, one on Dariax.
I can roll into it. Did you drop the invisibility on me
or did you keep it up?
I still got it up for now.
Oh, then it's going to be with disadvantage.
Yeah. All right.
Perfect.
It's not going to get worse than a natural one.
Sorry, I just wanted to see if it would.
It didn't. Okay.
All right, so a 19?
Yep. Cool.
And a natural one, it just it just snaps generally towards the paper.
Right. I've hit the ground after she threw me out of there.
I'm like, ow, I don't, what was that?
Ah!
As it just snaps right next to you
and then turns at you.
Does a big crunch and bites right into your shoulder.
And I need you to make a constitution saving throw.
He got dirty teeth?
He got those dirty teeth!
I knew it.
That's a real alligator.
You're going to take three points of piercing damage.
21.
Oh, you feel the beginnings of something.
It stings and burns as it comes through,
but you're able to shrug it off for now.
For now. Mm-hmm.
Now this thing is leveled into you as it comes back
and is preparing.
It's going to lunge and try to do some,
but that's all. That's all it's got for now.
Dorian, you're up.
Orym, you're on deck.
All right.
How far am I?
Okay, I can get there.
I'm going to say,
All right, Dariax, you're in the game now!
And I'm going to break the concentration
and so he becomes visible.
Vibes.
And I'm going to make my way into the fray
and I'll come up right to the left of him.
Okay, so you move through
and this plant that had been
sort of docile and open to you,
it's going to get off a little poof as you cross through.
So go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw for me.
Hey, 20.
Oh yeah, you're fine.
Yay.
You cross through uninterrupted.
Do you want to be in melee range with the Chomper?
Yes, I'm ready. All right, perfect.
And I will, yeah, I'll take a swing at him
with my scimitar. Yes!
Ooh.
Eight. Oh god.
No.
Big fat whiff, I suppose.
And you string out and strike it,
and you catch it in what you thought was
its rugged carapace, and you just knock away
these ferns that were living on it.
So you give it a little bit of a hedge clip and...
Mm. Mm.
Shit.
All right, so I'm going to flip the moss off.
I'll pop out my hand axe, my flute axe,
and I'll take another swipe at him with my off hand
for my bonus action. Get him.
Ooh, let's go with...
Oh, 18.
Yeah, and 18 absolutely hits.
Cool.
So, alligator fact.
God, if y'all hit me with alligator facts the whole time,
I will turn him over onto his back myself.
The top of their head's got this really hard armor plating,
but they've got about a half dollar-sized spot
where their brain is empty, so I'm gonna aim for,
where they don't have that plating,
so I'm gonna aim for that, I'm gonna take my handaxe
and just swing down right in the top of his dome.
With, one, two, three,
plus two, ha ha!
Ooh, it's so savage for three!
Oh, three points of damage!
Yes!
You catch it in its little baby soft spot
at the top of its head, and it gets stuck in there,
and it roars and whips you around,
and it's starting to pull you into its orbit.
But you did some good, good damage.
I will let you know, though,
you didn't cast another spell,
so you didn't have to drop invisibility
unless you wanted to.
I thought when I took the,
oh, so even if I take an action, it does that as a break?
Oh, it's if the person that it's cast on.
Right.
As long as your concentration remains
until you cast another spell that requires concentration
or you take enough damage to drop it.
Yeah.
So.
So I just want to put that on the table.
Like, if you want to, keep it up.
You're out here on these streets.
Sorry, buddy.
On the streets! Totally, let's do it.
I fucked this up from the beginning.
I'm going to keep on fucking it.
Hooray!
It works, it's okay!
Beautiful!
Orym, you're up.
Okay, I counted the squares.
I should be out of range, however,
I have just enough to run up behind Fy'ra Rai.
Okay, okay, okay.
That's 30 feet to get right behind her,
and if I use a superiority die and use Bait and Switch,
I can switch positions with her.
So Orym comes running up, dives and rolls under her legs
and stabs into the gator while pushing back with a shield
and nudging her back five feet.
Amazing.
You are the other end, the superiority die,
I get to add to my AC, which I will totally do
since I'm in front of a gator.
Heck yeah.
Oh, that is a shitty roll.
I did not hit.
How do you know?
Well, let me add this to the,
I'll use my Superiority die.
Yeah.
Nine.
Okay, no. No.
But I get to add the Superior to Die to my,
Superior to die to my AC.
So I'm now up higher.
Okay, good. Brilliant.
Actually, action surge.
Yeah, let's go!
That is, oh, I didn't add anything to the previous,
two plus seven is nine.
Actually, sorry, that should have been 15.
Hits! Okay, so the first one hits,
and that is...
seven. Yeah!
We'll still take that second attack
from the action surge. We love it, we love it.
Which is a 13.
13 just misses.
Okay, good, good to go.
Okay, paint me a word picture.
What that cool slash, you did a cool thing,
I want to know about it.
Tell me about it, sir.
Well, the first one hit, so he came,
dove under her legs, came up,
and stuck right into the inside upper part of its mouth,
pushing Fy'ra'ai back, pulled it out,
and then tried to get it in,
but glanced off of teeth, I think.
Ooh, I love that.
And is now just there in a bad spot.
Nice.
Dang, we're in a tight spot.
Dang it.
Okay, your turn. You're up. All right, so. Nice. Dang, we're in a tight spot. Dang it.
Okay, your turn.
Fearne, you're up.
All right, so like. Fearne, you're on deck.
After falling on my ass, I was like,
then they all rush in and start attacking it.
Then all of a sudden he rolls in and stabs it.
He's going to get up and hold.
Sounds like Mister.
Yeah, just continuous scream.
The spear in one hand pulls off the necklace
with the compass rose in the other
and holds it in front and she goes,
and is going to go ahead and release
a Burning Hands torrent at level two.
Yes!
Forward in a cone to just skimp past the front faces
of both Dorian and Orym.
Oh, amazing.
So that'll be...
46 plus, yeah, 46.
That's pretty good.
I'm going to use a Sorcery point
on that to do Empowered Spell
so I can reroll up to three dice.
That's not fun.
We want that for you.
One more time.
All right, got it.
So that is 19 points of fire damage
to the creature.
As a spinning torrent,
this small cone of intense flame just
erupts from the front of that necklace
in the front of the Spear,
and she's just going.
And it just misses us? Yeah, like, so like. What's my spell save? that necklace in the front of the Spear, he's just going.
And it just misses us?
Yeah, so like.
What's my spell save?
Just a nose hair.
Spell save on that.
Yeah.
Is 14.
Okay, I rolled a 13, so.
Yes!
Anywhere. Anywhere.
So 19 points? Vexed and vexed.
Yes. Pretty much.
Oh my god. Oh yeah.
You send forth this cone of burning
and all of that foliage and plant life and moss
that was on it and in it and of it burns away
and you're left with this massive,
sort of fey-looking crocodile
with big holes in its hide
where those plants were growing out
and it looks toasty and pissed.
Tight tight tight. Thanks, you die.
Fearne.
Okay.
So I'm going to take my movement to get as close as I can
around to...
Is your move 30?
35.
35.
Those long go legs.
Seven. You can get all the way up to behind Dariax.
There's these? Okay. So I will, you know what,
I'll go around the other side
so I have a little bit of an opening.
I mean, unless I can peek through.
Yeah, that's perfect. I'll do that.
And do I recognize that he's a fey crocodile?
I mean, you have a strong sense
that this is not a normal, actually, no, no.
Make a nature check for me.
Okay.
18.
You remember seeing a lot of,
like this is what gators look like at home.
Okay. So it's a pretty good guess
that these are not these ones.
Okay. Excuse you.
You're being very rude.
So what I will do is,
I am going to cast Entangle.
And try to send up some weeds and vines and things
from the ground and try to just up some weeds and vines and things
from the ground and try to just entangle him. Okay, okay.
I rolled a natural one.
Okay.
Ha!
Oh!
There it goes.
It be that way sometimes. Bye-bye.
Thank you, bye! Thank you, bye!
Love you, bye!
Perfect.
Okay, so he's entangled.
Okay, beautiful.
And I didn't want to hurt him too bad
because he's from home,
but I just wanted to make sure that he's...
He's all locked up.
Yeah.
What do you want to do?
Bonus action, anything else?
Bonus action? Did else? Bonus action?
Did Mister come up with you?
Mister did come up with me. Okay, cool.
He's just chilling in the back, like,
nah, you got this. Yep, yep, yep.
Good job, Mom.
Bonus action.
I'm going to just stop there.
I'm just going to entangle and keep him there,
because I don't want to do anything too terrible
to this very nice woman's house that was talking to us.
Amazing. Okay.
Fy'ra, you're up. Opal, you're on deck.
Mm-hmm.
So I've been pushed back by Orym.
Yep.
And I'm just going to say again out loud,
this is not my test to have.
Do I have to help finish him?
Do what you will.
It's fine.
It's fun.
All right, then let's get in the game.
She slides past Orym, she pulls out her staff.
Do you want to be between everyone or on the side?
Mm, I don't want to be near that plant.
The plant has gone off.
Oh, gotcha. I'm not going to trigger this plant.
Awesome, awesome.
So I'm going to come around his right side.
And actually, you know what?
Yeah.
I am going to use Flurry of Blows.
Okay.
And I am going to pull out my telescoping staff,
take one hit and two bonus hits.
Beautiful. Let's go.
Two bonus actions.
Can I forget, is that advantage because it's tangled?
Or no?
Well, it's a 19 to start with,
so I think I hit it, though, right?
Oh yeah, you absolutely do.
Okay, great.
So that's one of them.
And then do I roll damage first
and then go the other two hits, yes?
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Word.
Which is 1d8 plus three.
You guys, you guys, you guys.
I'm restrained, absolutely.
Let's go. D8, D8.
D8.
Thanks, Liam, for making me look up the spell.
11 points of damage with my first strike.
Beautiful.
So that first strike, I land right in that soft,
that little soft spot that was so-
We were just putting weird stuff on it.
That I saw was-
Well played.
We've got him upside down, yeah.
We're not in the clear. We're almost there!
We're not in the clear. That's all right.
And then I am going to
telescope it around for two.
19 plus six, so that's a 25.
Hits.
And an 11.
I mean, you still have advantage.
I still have advantage. Yeah.
Right, because it's a restrained.
Yeah. 18.
Oh my god.
Yeah, so.
Where is it?
All right, well, that's just four.
And that's eight.
Four and eight, so 12.
Total of 12? Another 12?
Oh my god.
12 and 11.
The first one was 11, I believe.
He's looking real bad
as he's just bound up and getting hit.
He doesn't seem to be crying out in pain.
His massive mouth is just worrying
at the vines on the ground.
He's trying to get back in the fight.
And make a...
Make an arcana check for me.
Jesus, that was a natural one.
Plus two, so three.
Oh, cool, thanks.
It's a big gator and it's fine.
It's a big gator.
But I am going to say,
I'm sorry, my friend.
She's asked me to.
Yeah.
The thing I will give you is that this thing
is not quite behaving like a normal animal
that would probably react a little differently
to being caged and surrounded.
And just still doing its job.
Yeah. All right.
Is that you?
It's talking in bonus actions and actions.
So yeah, I think we're good.
Opal, you're a man almost ready to fucking go.
Yeah.
She's going to flip this bitch!
She's going to flip this bitch!
Okay, so she's going to sprint her whole movement,
which I think is 30 feet, and then, hold on,
before she lands, she's going to Misty Step.
Hey!
On top of the gator, or the croc?
Can we do that? Yeah!
Okay. Do it!
Get on top of the croc!
So now we're on top of the crocodile.
We're on a croc.
And here's what I don't know if I could do,
but I really want to.
God, I want to let this happen.
I want to take my Vicious Whip,
and I want to, I know it's already bound, right? It's already, but I want to, I want to like,
you know, I'm on top of it.
I would like to just kind of like wrap it around it.
Hold on, I need way more.
Oh my God.
Keep going. I'll get you there.
Don't you worry, baby bird.
I love it so much.
Okay, so I want to wrap the vicious whip
around this crocodile and just, above all hope,
swinging her weight just to see
if this crocodile will just turn.
And so she's going to, so it's wrapped around.
This is so disrespectful.
She's really committed to this idea that it will.
Which way are you trying to roll the gator?
I'm going to go this way, but.
What does that mean?
You know I don't, that doesn't mean.
You're pointing at a screen.
Clockwise or counterclockwise?
If the Croc's mouth is here, we're going right.
Okay, cool.
So, so.
Get that 20.
But, but, hold on.
She's going to jump, but she's going to jump far enough
that it's not a roll, it's a jump off of the gator
and pulling all of her weight.
Yes!
I worked so hard to get you on the gator,
you jump off the gator.
No! No, no, no.
She's bullshitting with her. She's going to jump down.
This is some Laura Bailey-level haggling.
This is psychotic. I love it.
I am honored.
Yeah, that's what I'd like to do.
I don't know if you're going to let me.
I mean, I am so deeply invested on
if the dice want this to happen.
So please make an athletics check.
Come on, baby. Come on, mama.
Come on.
Don't embarrass me.
Oh, what did you say? Athletics?
Yeah.
19. No, sorry, 17.
That's a minus one.
17.
Another natural one.
Ooh. No! Yay! 17, no, sorry, 17, that's a minus one. 17. Another natural one.
Ooh!
And that was literally the scenario you needed.
Yes!
Opal, please describe how you flip the gator.
So Opal has never believed in anything more than this.
She so rarely has insight on this kind of thing,
because she's so new and young and to the world,
but she knows about these fucking crocs.
She heard it somewhere.
So she's got this whip, right?
You're up on my road and you hear things.
that has somehow magically gone around,
and she's going to take all of her might
and jump as far as she can.
But he's tied already.
He's been hurt. That should be harder!
Yeah.
But she knows where her center of balance is.
And also, Hexblade's curse.
I love his love. What does that even mean?
I don't know! Does that mean he's fucked?
And so she's going to just jump,
and the most serious face you have ever seen on Opal,
she's just going to jump, what is that, 10 feet?
I don't know.
And land spectacularly on her feet
while our croc just flips over with a thunk
and its legs go like this.
Oh my god. And that's it.
I hate this so much.
And she just stands there,
like, gloriously, like,
I've seen this happen.
And under the vines that you've entangled,
you just see this thing does a tiny little,
like, crocodiles and alligators are known
for their death roll, but you did it to the cr-
It's wild, as this thing just hits its back,
looks as stunned as I do in this goddamn moment,
and it's just on its back, still restrained,
and just like,
You don't want to hurt you, stop!
Ah!
And I'm going to say it's also stunned for this round,
because wow, I need everyone to make a perception check for me
in this literally unbelievable moment.
I've never been betrayed so hard by.
16.
14.
19.
Natural 20.
Dirty 20.
Four.
Oh my god.
If anything reliable, okay?
And you, Dariax, are just staring down the barrel
of this massive beast that's flipped right in front of you.
But the rest of you see, as Opal jumps off,
something happens, like your vision blurs for a second,
and you're not quite looking at Opal.
It's her, but it's also another version of her
with darker hair and a wider set and muscles
that are straining with the effort of rolling her,
of rolling this big, stupid crocodile.
And as Opal hits and rights herself,
you see the two images sort of shudder over each other and it resolves back up to just Opal hits and rights herself, you see the two images shudder over each other
and it resolves back up to just Opal in front of you.
You didn't notice it because you're busy
just living that life.
You're in the streets.
Amazing.
Okay.
He's going to spend his turn attempting to do anything
about what just happened to him.
And with a four,
is just, all right, that's one round of him
just laying on, he's having tummy time, and I respect it.
Dorian, you're up. Orym, you're on deck.
And this entire encounter has gotten away from me.
I just want to say that up top.
Oh my god.
I cannot fucking believe that worked.
It totally worked.
I am going to approach
the flailing, slightly stunned crocodile.
I'm going to rub the bottom of its little jaw right here.
What is happening?
Slowly close its mouth
and pull out my hempen rope out of my bag
and hogtie his mouth up.
All right, I'm still going to say
that this is an opposed strength check
because I got to give him a chance for this
to not be the most done.
Oh no.
What do I add to this?
Please let the man's power I don't want to kill.
All right, you have to be a 14.
We'll see.
That would be a natural 20.
Woo!
Yeah, go, go, go!
My merciful warriors!
I'm not going to keep fighting.
The encounter is over!
Yeah!
We're done here, what do I do to that?
Wait, yeah.
Hog tied him up, and his jaws are closed, upside down.
Wow!
Okay.
You were totally right.
You know what?
One time we went on a field trip.
Not here, but another place where there are, like,
gators and crocodiles, and I saw a guy do it,
and I was like, wow.
That was so impressive, my goodness.
Thanks.
I'm just going to check my shoulder and see how bad it is.
Is anything happening?
Like, am I feeling worse?
Am I?
You see the beginnings of dark green veins from those puncture points, but they are held at bay.
Okay. Here, let me help you with that.
I'll go ahead and cast Cure Wounds on you.
Try and shore that up a bit.
You heal six points.
Wow. Thank you.
I don't even remember how many I took.
How many did I take?
Are you asking me?
Yeah, I'm asking you.
I'm not taking care of 11 other things.
I'm going to pretend that I took double that
because I deserve it.
There you go.
Oh, that's hurtful.
I deserve it. I deserve it.
You healed how many?
Six.
Okay, so I'm going to leave.
I'm going to say that I took 12
and that you healed six of them because that feels like I deserve it. That feels like a lot. All right, then I'll say I healed. I'm going to say that I took 12 and that you healed six of them
because that feels like I deserve it.
That feels like a lot.
All right, then I'll say I healed other heads.
No, go for it. Six it is.
All right. Yeah. Okay.
All right.
I'm still lost in the sauce on this entire encounter.
It's okay.
It's fine.
So I thank you.
Hey, no worries.
That was, um.
And I look up and I say,
So?
How have they fared?
The sound you hear
is the shaking of leaves in the trees
and birds chirping loudly,
like songbirds of the morning and ones of the evening, all crying out at once.
And it sounds like laughter.
And the massive crocodile has just given up
and is just waiting and watching,
hasn't gone away, is no longer attacking,
and is just left in this moment.
What do you do?
Melora is well pleased.
Yes. Dariax pets the throat for a second.
Sorry about the, you know, thing.
You're not too bad when you're sleepy.
I smile at all of them and I say,
Mm-hmm.
You have done well by yourselves.
You have done well by me.
Orym reaches out and just starts rubbing
the gator's belly.
Go to sleep.
And actually, at this point,
after being petted by two different people,
you hear this strange sound in the middle of its throat
as it begins to purr.
Aw.
He's fine with this.
Goddess?
Goddess?
Right, so you heard that, too?
Oh, yeah.
So it's not just me anymore.
Spider Queen, a lot nicer today.
No, that was a different one.
This is a goddess, not a queen.
There's too many voices in our heads.
This is a problem.
Queen is a goddess, too.
What, like a bad goddess? What would that be like? A bod- A bodice. Like a bod many voices in our heads. This is a problem. Queen is a goddess, too. What, like a bad god?
What would that be like?
A bod- goddess?
Like a bodice. A bodice.
Friends.
Where's the goddess?
She said there was more to do, right?
There was a different, more to go?
Oh, ouch!
I'm going to go grab the paper.
Oh, yes, let me see.
There you go.
And I'm going to take the paper and look at it,
and I'm going to go-
You're going to go check his work? I'm going to go check his work.
Yeah, respect.
Go ahead and make an intelligence check for me.
Good thing I'm pretty.
Eight.
You're going and you're kind of comparing the marks
and it looks like he got them mostly correct,
but the longer you stare at them,
you're smart. you're smart.
This is fairly inscrutable.
You just wrote down a pile of shapes.
They don't really have a sense of meaning,
and the more you look back and forth between the two,
the more you realize that, yeah, he got it down,
but what do you do with it?
Did you ever touch the obelisk?
No, should I?
Should you?
I go for it.
If he tells me that, I'm going.
Give it to Dariax, he'll try anything.
Yeah, he will.
I was not baiting you, to be clear.
You were not very clear to him.
No!
Amazing. So you go up and touch it.
I need you to make an intelligence saving throw.
You got it.
Okay.
I am going to use my favored by the gods feature.
Melora's like, oh, thank god.
See, he is favored by the gods.
There you go.
Go ahead and add. Please, please, sir.
That's better.
It's kind of, well, it's 4d1d4.
I'll reroll it.
How do you cock a 1d4, but I managed to.
That was weird.
Okay, so that brings it to a 14.
With a 14, while your hand is placed on this,
it's not that you are reading another language,
but you realize that the runes are closer to pictograms than they are to letters.
And the meaning is clear to you as you're sort of looking between your fingers and up and down at it.
And you see lists upon lists of grains, things being stored,
a census being taken.
Like, this is a massive piece of bureaucracy
for a city that no longer exists here.
I just walk back.
What was it?
Boring. What do you mean? How so? How boring? What. What was it? Boring.
What do you mean?
How so? How boring? What's wrong about it?
Oh, it's like a bunch of clerical paperwork
for some ancient place.
Wait, how do you know that?
I just touched it, you saw me do it.
You touched it yourself.
You can see how boring it is. We're going deeper, right? We told, that's what I was going to do. You're coming,, you saw me do it. You can touch it yourself. You can see how boring it is.
We're going deeper, right?
We told, that's what I was going to do.
You're coming.
Are you coming?
That's why I was calling the goddess.
She didn't come.
I'm going to go touch it, too.
Yeah.
Then make an intelligence saving throw for me.
Oh, 17.
What's the largest,
is Emon the largest city you've ever been in?
Oh, for certain, yes.
As you learn a little bit more
about the lists on here,
you realize that the sheer scale
of what's being discussed here,
this feeds a population not of 100,000,
but tenfold that.
Dariax is right.
This isn't a cipher.
This isn't a way to figure out
what the rune we were looking for meant.
It's just a list.
Yeah.
A laundry list of supplies.
Tip of the iceberg, maybe.
Or just a tip of nothing.
It's a lot of people, right? It's a lot of people.
It's a big city.
How long ago was this?
Oh man, I haven't heard of a lot of stuff, I guess, but like.
Well, they're not here anymore, that's for sure.
Well, this is the first thing we're hitting.
If we keep going, there's got to be more.
As they're discussing this,
I am walking around the plinth, the obelisk,
you know, around that platform of it,
and do a quick gift check.
Yeah.
Make your roll.
Yes, and I want to find out
how much do they need me to help?
Yeah.
What was it again? Insight?
Perception? Wisdom.
Wisdom.
That'll be a three. Yeah. That would be a three.
Yeah, it'd be a three.
It's good timing. Good timing for that roll.
Very good timing for that roll.
I am known for nothing if not good timing.
Yeah.
You go and you can feel it,
even as you're walking around
and they're beginning to speak
truth and understanding.
And that thrill of excitement,
you're not quite sure if it is internal to you
or coming from somewhere else,
someplace that is excited.
I just really want to.
Yeah.
And in that burst of excitement and adrenaline
and serotonin and dopamine and all of those good emotions
as like, they're so close.
You don't have a sense of where you fall into place here,
but you hear the same thing that you've heard
on the lips of everyone in your group.
Keep going.
And you know that
the trial was offered and passed beyond
even Melora's expectation.
I'm proud like a fucking mama.
Yeah.
So proud of these motherfuckers.
Tide the mouth!
And even as you're walking around the back,
you see the way through here
is orders of magnitude clearer and less obstructed
than the way in.
So as I see that,
I can't contain myself.
And I just go,
Everyone ready?
Oh yeah.
Can we take him with us?
No. Okay.
Then yeah, let's go.
Yeah, let's go.
I think he's asleep anyway.
Yeah, he's snoring very loudly.
How long does entangle last?
Let's see.
I have it pulled up.
I don't know why I'm even asking. Entangle lasts.
That's one minute, yeah.
He's sleeping? Yeah.
I'm going to go get my rope back.
Oh, up to one minute.
Yeah, go get the minute. I'm going to go take my rope.
Yeah, go get the rope.
So yeah, as you see the vines
sort of slacken across it,
he's asleep and just sprawled out.
And even as you get that final bit of hempen rope,
his mouth opens up, tongue lolls out,
continues snoring.
Cutie.
Like a boo-boo.
One last little rub.
Thank you.
Okay, I'm ready.
Anyone else? Are you ready to go?
I believe one of you might want to take lead.
All right.
Survival check!
Before anyone can jump, interfere.
18.
Ooh! Shit! Minus one, it was a 19 naturally. 18. Ooh! Shit!
Minus one, it was a 19 naturally.
Oh my god!
Wow.
Broken clock, y'all, broken clock.
And with this preternatural sense,
you walk around the plinth
and exit out of the back of this glade.
And it's not as difficult terrain
as it was before, but it's still rough going,
and you're able to continue and make your way through.
And with one last look over your shoulder,
as you leave the clearing, you see that big mound
where this big old boy once was is now a massive,
loamy pile with little baby ferns
beginning to bud out of it.
All right, friends, follow my lead.
I guess we're going deeper in.
Okay.
I'm just smiling with,
I've gotten very cocky on their behalf.
All right, I will give you one more day.
So you're able to travel for the rest of the day.
And as night begins to fall,
the trees get dark so much earlier
than the actual sky does,
but once you see those beautiful, deep blues
as the sun actually leaves the sky,
a little pocket, a little clearing
is open to you to set up camp.
Look at that. Convenience.
Even all the way out here, I love it.
I'll start a fire.
I like this newfound confidence of his
that is actually warranted.
What's that? Hmm?
Okay.
You have one more evening.
What do you want to do with it?
That was fun.
So any name ideas?
A few. I had them in the back of my head. Can't land on one, though.
Tell us.
I've been trying to work hot in, but.
It's hard.
The tummy rubbers.
Good.
Doesn't invoke fear.
Yeah, you're right, not really.
Respect.
Although it does seem to go along with a group of people
who travel in a glitter shitter.
The glitter shooters.
Come on, Orym.
Yeah. I'm just with them.
You shy?
I got a couple.
I don't know if they're winners.
We're an odd lot, so.
The odd lot.
Like it? Odd lot's not too bad. Yeah. We're an odd lot, so the odd lot.
Like it. Odd lot's not too bad.
We've so far come in contact with
The Hod-not-lot?
three gods, so I thought maybe God's Folly.
Or the Irregulars.
Oh.
That's pretty fun.
I like the Irregulars. I don't know. fun. I like the irregulars.
I don't know. No?
I eat pretty well. I'm pretty regular.
Yeah, that.
I'm digging the odd lot, to be honest.
I've been called odd most of my life.
I mean, we could work in hot in that.
I'm just saying, just spitballing.
The odd lot? The hot odd lot.
Odd hot lot. Or the odd hot lot.
The hot odd lot thoughts?
That's a mouthful. How about The hot, odd lot thoughts? I think that's a mouthful.
How about it's the odd lot
and the rest is just implied?
Or is that in secret of the people we really trust?
Okay. Like, we're the odd lot.
Odd, odd lot. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Or the arseholes is out?
The hot arsehole?
I think we know.
That's our real night.
That sounds like a rough name.
The way it works, I think,
is that we know where the asshole's.
We know where it is, yes.
But when we talk to other people, it's the odd lot.
Yeah.
Or the hot lot.
Still really pitching the hot thing off.
Yeah.
Hot machina.
Wow. That's not even a word. Too close? Wow. What's a machina. It's not even a word.
Too close?
Wow.
What's a machina?
I don't know.
It's some sort of dance.
Machine?
Even the jungle goes quiet on that one.
As they're- And one cricket just-
Cricket kick!
Okay, as they're having this conversation,
I'm just shaking my head and laughing in the corner,
and Fy'ra's eyes start to well up,
and she just says under her breath,
You would like them, Fy'ra Kai.
You would like them so much.
Aw.
Sweet.
Well, how about this?
The odd lot for tonight,
if we'll consider it our front runner,
and if we think of anything better along the way,
that's not like we're taking up brochures yet or anything.
I got an idea.
Keep running into gators
and we want to go with the tummy tuggers or whatever.
Tummy tuggers?
Wait, Fearne, didn't you say you had an idea?
I don't think I did.
Oh, okay.
But there's not a lot going on up here.
You had an idea, Dariax?
Honest.
I don't know.
I know we said there's not much of a leader, but like,
you know, some of us has to be
the front person when communicating.
If it's a fully democratic experience
when we're conversing with folks,
that can be a bit, well, confusing, as I've been told.
How about Dorian Storm and his Blades of Fury?
And we're the Blades of Fury.
Oh.
Right?
What if it was
Dariax and his dashing backup dancers?
Oh, I hate that.
Weirdly, I kind of hate it, too.
Maybe when we get back to the Black Swan and Emon
for a whole different sort of performance,
but for the purposes of adventuring on the road,
the Odd Lot, outwardly,
the hot ash holes internally,
and to decide Dorian Storm and his Blades of Fury.
Featuring Darlestar?
Oh!
Tharlestar. Oh! Tharlestar.
Oh, Tharlestar.
And I don't want to think about her at the end, well.
I think we need to, you know,
see if something comes up organically.
I do love these. I love the odd lot.
But, um.
I don't think anyone's married to anything right now.
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
You all show great heart,
great courage, and great mercy.
I have to admit,
I did not expect you to be as...
as much of what you are
as you proved to be at every turn.
I'm in awe of you.
And I'm in awe of the forces that brought us together.
Thank you for allowing me to travel with you.
Please make a wisdom saving throw.
Yeah.
13.
The moment you say that,
there's a little heartbeat,
and you feel on that zoomed out map and you feel on that zoomed out map
that you travel the world based on,
a new spot begins to ping.
You're not quite done here, but you know what comes next.
Our time together may be short.
There are large forces in the world,
and you are a part of them, and I am a part of them,
and this place is a part of them.
Our journeys may not continue together,
but I will always be connected to you.
I want you to remember that.
Thank you.
Sounds to me like you're leaving.
I will not leave until,
until something makes me.
That I can promise.
As you all make camp, oh, sorry, go ahead.
I was just staring at my pie. Do you want some?
Oh, please.
Is that the chicken?
No, no, this is the currant.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
Oh shit, we got that crown in here. It could be the crown keepers. Okay. That's pretty good. Oh shit, we got that crown in here.
It could be the crown keepers.
Oh!
Crown keepers.
Not bad.
Speaking of which, are you doing all right?
Would you like me to carry the crown for a while?
Ah.
Ah, you're sweet.
For you to carry it?
No, no, just to take the load.
He's been carrying it the whole time.
You know what they say, ignorance is bliss.
That's true. He's good.
Yeah, if you don't mind.
He catches it. Oh, that's not what I.
No.
What? Barehanded.
No reaction.
How'd you do that?
Feeling nauseous?
No, I feel fine, actually.
I get up and walk right up to him face to face, close,
not confrontationally, but just looking at him.
And I'm immediately taken back
to that same moment that he saw in his dream.
And I'd like to roll for the gift
to see what does that mean, that nothing is happening.
Roll for the gift, but I want it to be an insight check.
18.
The sort of cool way he regards you,
there is a glimmer of recognition there.
Something's changed within him.
You can see it by the fact that he is holding onto it,
but something has grown inside of him.
And you see that now.
And if you are asking the gift what that means,
your mind drifts back to what may have been a week earlier
when you were camping,
when you first thought to the wells of power,
these gravitational forces within the group,
as it gets just a little bit wider,
as the potential opens up just a little bit farther.
And he is a part of it now.
Anything could happen.
Dariax leans into Opal
as this kind of moment's happening and goes,
see, an adaptability is the strength of a true leader.
Whoa, where'd you learn that word?
I think I heard it back in Emon.
He's so cool.
Yeah, he's pretty cool.
I'm just casually packing the crown into my own pack
and cinching it up without really saying anything.
You don't really want to carry that.
It was my decision to keep it.
You supported me.
We can't have Dariax bear the load the entire time.
Yes, it was your decision. It was our decision. We can't have Dariax bear the load the entire time. Yes, it was your decision.
It was our decision.
We make decisions together.
We're a group.
The five of us are a group.
The five of us are a group.
If you don't hand that back to the dwarf,
we're going to have a problem.
Sure.
Am I missing something, Auron?
Make a charisma saving throw for me, Dorian.
Actually, he meant six.
Six of us are a group.
What do I do if it's sideways?
Oh, it's cocked. You can reroll it.
Worse.
Charisma?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, plus four.
16.
You feel a, like,
reflexive rush of defensiveness at Orym's words.
And your cheeks get a little warm
and you get a little hot,
but you are aware of that feeling.
Sounds like a threat, Orym.
That's what it was.
What?
Orym?
We got to rely on each other out here.
And after the last several days,
I'm not going to feel comfortable doing that with you carrying it.
Well, that hurts my feelings.
I'm sorry.
Fine.
I care about you more than this.
It does not bother me to hold it or not hold it. I care about you more than this.
It does not bother me to hold it or not hold it.
Fine, fine, fine.
We can make issues of all sorts of things, can't we?
You know what we could do right now?
We could put it in the box and send it back.
But we can't, can we?
I'll take it out and I'll throw it back to Darian. It comes at you even faster than he flings it
as the wind has gotten cold and pretty fierce
in your campsite.
Thank you, Dorian.
Welcome home. Thank you, Dorian. Welcome, Orym.
Orym, make a perception check for me.
23.
As he pulls his hand back and goes about whatever you continue to do,
you catch it, just the faintest glimmer of spider silk
across the back of his hand.
Don't say anything.
Just mark it and sit down and try to
deflate the situation a little.
I step back away from him and I say,
Well, that was a turn.
I could always take it and I can just put it on.
That was a joke.
I suppose the five of you should go get some rest.
And I'm going to turn away and go keep watch from about 20 feet away.
Okay, I'll come back to you.
Is there anything else you want to do before bedding down?
I just go up the door and be like,
you all right, buddy?
Yes, fine.
I fix up numbers, too, all the time.
Sure.
And I'm going to
bed down.
Dorian, make a perception check for me.
Or, Dariax.
Damn it, I hate your names!
Yeah!
I hate! Yes!
I hate, Yes! Hate. Hate!
13.
With a 13, while you're close to him,
you see, before he turns away,
a little glint of spider silk across his right eye.
Hey.
Back to back?
Back to back, back to back. All right.
I'm going to go tuck the pouch into my front again
and lean up into his back
and then just hold that defensive position
before eventually finding sleep.
Same.
As I'm keeping watch and watching them all bed down,
I'm just watching Dorian with concern,
and I say not to,
I don't know whether I'm speaking to the jungle,
whether I'm speaking to my sister, whether I'm speaking to my sister,
whether I'm speaking to the gift,
but I just say, please,
I know he has changed.
I know he will not make the same decision twice.
Please keep him safe.
And I will do anything, again,
to keep it that way.
Your not-that-silent prayer goes out
and your hair flares up bright in the night and reflects off of what you can see are hundreds of spiderwebs
up in the trees.
And that's all the answer you were given.
Then I will stay as long as you are here.
And as long as he is here,
I will watch for you.
Do the rest of you bed down for the night?
I think Opal's trying to see if Ted
is really inside of her body.
I don't know how she's working that through,
but just like...
She feels like herself, but.
Just trying to get that one burp up
that's not quite making its way.
I'm going to work it. It's not going that way.
God knows, I'm like, I really couldn't.
Who knows? Who knows where she's coming out?
Make an arcana check for me.
What's that?
Oh, that's a natural 20.
Hey!
But it's shaped like a butterfly.
It's got like a little butterfly. Oh, yay, that's great!
So as you settle down for the night,
and you're wiggling, trying to figure out
how to check for Ted, like a little soul maraca.
Yeah. You begin to doze.
And in that strange liminal space
between being awake and being asleep,
you're sitting, then you feel a hand cover your hand.
You look to the right and you see Ted.
Ted.
Are you dead?
What? Are you dead?
What? Are you dead?
No, I heard you. I am shocked. No.
Oh, then what are you doing here?
I mean, you're fucking looking for me.
I'm here. I don't understand.
I'll go. No, no, I didn't say to go. I'm here. I don't understand. I'll go.
No, no, I didn't say to go.
I was just saying someone said that you were in my body
and I'm like, well, where's her body then?
Oh, no, that's true.
What?
Yeah.
Why?
I said I was in sight.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you? Yeah.
And I am, too.
I mean, have you met anyone fun, wherever you are?
I'm here with you, and I met...
You're really going with the odd lot?
No, I don't like the odd lot.
I like the irregulars, but no one likes that.
How about we call it the irregulars?
We'll call it the irregulars.
But don't read my thoughts.
That's weird.
It's kind of part.
No, no, no, no, no, don't do it.
Don't do it.
You're not going to like it there, Ted.
No, I already know how mean you are
about everyone and me, which is rude.
And I'm sorry for earlier and Byroden.
I just, I didn't want you to drag dad into this.
Okay.
Okay, just, where's your body, though?
I'm worried about that.
Is she just lying around somewhere?
Super, well, now that you put it that way, I'm worried about that. Is she just lying around somewhere? Super... Well, now that you put
it that way, I'm worried about it.
Yeah, you should be. I don't know. It might be
in trouble.
So if you need to go visit it
once in a while.
I don't
really know
where it is.
Or
if I'm being super honest,
really what I was doing
before I was here. What?
No, I'm your sister, like, I know.
Did you get drunk?
What? Did you get drunk?
I don't think I, no.
No, no.
Okay, just be cool.
Rude.
I'm literally the source of your arcane powers in this world.
I know, I know, but I'm the one who wrestled
like crocodile.
Yeah.
What was that, by the way?
Smart.
You're welcome.
Resourceful.
That wasn't magic.
That was body weight, honey.
That was body weight.
You have none of it because you don't eat carbs.
Excuse me.
Strength doesn't come from carbs.
Strength comes from...
What?
Finish that sentence.
Finish it.
Finish something in your life.
And I feel like Opal just laughs with her sister
in a rare moment of like...
I need you to make a strength saving throw
as you are tackled by a hug.
I'm going to flip you like a croc.
Ooh, that's a nine.
And you immediately get tackled down to the side
as your sister glomps you with a hug.
Okay, this is what I mean about me not being cool.
This is what I mean about me being stronger than you,
and also I love you. Okay, well, what I mean about me not being cool. This is what I mean about me being stronger than you, and also I love you.
Okay, well, just go to bed.
I love you, too.
Okay.
Hey, do you see her, too?
Who?
The woman in purple.
No.
No, bitch, who?
And your sister's on top of you, holding you,
and you feel her face and her attention shift
somewhere out past your campfire, past your camp,
into the darkness.
Is there a ghost in here, too?
I don't know.
But if there is, I'll protect you.
I'll protect you. I'll protect you.
And you just fall asleep.
All of you just saw Opal sitting
and the two fall asleep on her side.
Chet.
Fearne.
Fearne is going to
sort of walk around the group and
kiss everybody on the top of the head.
Oh.
And look out at Fy'ra Rai,
give her a smile,
and sort of sit near Dorian and
take out the pan flute
and just play a little bit of a nighttime lullaby
of Hot Cross Buns.
Teal.
Let me play you the song of my people.
Make a performance check for me,
since I haven't asked you to roll a die in a while.
Okay.
Oh no.
That is 11.
Wait, you had given me inspiration at one point.
I absolutely have.
Let me try just one more time.
Oh, okay, that's good.
Oh, that's great, actually.
21. Oh, yeah.
Much better. Much better.
Now you guys might actually be able to sleep.
It starts off a little...
Yeah.
It's a little proggy for hot cross buns.
You said you didn't know how to play.
Very hot cross buns.
The hottest, crossest buns.
That's it for the hot cross buns!
Let's go!
There you go. That's it!
Oh god, yes!
I was like, mm-hmm.
HCB. The HCB!
Oh god.
That's the dream, to be the DM of the Hot Crossbys.
Thanks, Melora.
You play and, yeah,
it's softer
than you would expect
as the wind kind of picks up
and buffets the sound
out and you can feel the breeze sort of
pushing it out in a way
past this little like campfire
as the wild mother
is sharing your music
with the jungle around you
how long do you stay up? The Wild Mother is sharing your music with the jungle around you.
That's sweet. How long do you stay up?
I wait till everybody's asleep.
Orym, do you go to sleep?
No, I pretend to.
Okay.
And listen to Opal's entire conversation from behind me.
And I listen to Hot Cross Buns.
I'm watching Dorian sleep,
and probably an hour and a half
after the whole camp goes quiet,
if anyone's still awake, they hear,
it's going to be the Ash ash holes, I know it.
Gee. Where do hot cross buns get made?
In an ash hole.
Ugh.
Oh, me.
I'm sad I contributed to this.
Fair point, fair point.
At some point, I do fall asleep,
sort of just starfish,
the pan flute is out of the side and just full.
Mister is on top of you. Equally starfish.
At some point, I'm probably, like,
I'm not going to stay up all night
keeping watch all night, so.
I want to make sure I get rest, because I got to.
Yeah, I'll get, yeah.
You are able to absolutely swap
and someone will take another watch.
But Fearne, when you fall asleep,
can you make a wisdom saving throw for me?
Everyone gets one. Let's go.
Oh!
That is, let me just make sure that's not a seven.
No, it's a one.
Oh no.
And you just used your inspiration
on the hot cross buns, right? I did. Damn it. That's what it's there for. That's what it's. No, it's a one. Oh no! And you just used your inspiration
on the hot cross buns, right? I did.
I did. Damn it.
That's what it's there for.
Yeah.
And you fall asleep.
Oh, I have inspiration.
And the camp has gone quiet at this point.
So no one notices as one more little,
almost imperceptible spider drops onto your shoulder as you lose consciousness.
And you wake up in the darkness, but this dark is hot
and it's full of pressure and movement and flow
that you can't perceive because it's so dark down here.
And you push forward until you're standing
in front of a dark mirror.
You only know it because you can see
just the faintest shimmer in front of you.
You are alone.
What do you do?
I go up a little bit closer to the mirror
just to see what it is.
As you fully resolve to stand in front of it,
you see a reflection of yourself,
confused, bewildered,
and then the ash settles in, of yourself, confused, bewildered.
And then the ash settles in.
The soot fills your hair and your clothing and darkness from your fingertips spreading up your body.
And in very short order, you look exactly like that Friar Laren,
that dark, corrupted satyr that you fought weeks ago,
save for one important accessory.
She smiles back at you.
I don't understand.
Don't you?
You're so close So much power
So
I did put it on
The circlet?
You could.
You haven't.
You may.
You must.
And when she opens her mouth,
you see that little bit of flame
and a set of eyes looking back at you
from its depths.
So what?
How powerful, though?
Indescribable.
You.
We.
I will burn the world if I want to.
It's everywhere.
It pours out.
We could do whatever we want.
You could find them, bring them home.
How would I do that?
I just put it on and then
they're there?
No.
But you will have strength enough
to endure what it will take to find them.
I miss them so bad.
I know. No one knows more than I do.
Well,
I don't know if I like you very much.
You'll see in time.
They'll leave.
You'll be alone.
That's nothing new for me.
It will hurt more.
Well,
I think I'd like to wake up because
I only want there to be one of me and I like this version better.
For now.
For now.
You'll just have to work on changing my mind, I guess.
And you hear that raspy cough,
and somewhere behind it, another laugh
doubled on itself.
Make another wisdom saving throw for me.
Yeah.
Okay.
18.
You feel the lucidity of this dream.
How do you choose to exit it?
I sit in front of the mirror. I'm going to take off my cape,
and I know this is something that my grandmother would do,
and I'm going to put it over the mirror,
and I'm going to try to go back to sleep.
and I'm going to try to go back to sleep.
As you lay down, curled in front of the mirror
covered by your cape,
your last thought as you drift off
in the dream within the dream
is the soft flump of your cape hitting the ground
as the mirror disappears
and you fall into true, restful sleep.
Clarum, what are you up to?
After watching for a while?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I think he would have just tried to stay up
later than he should have,
but would eventually have to give in to sleep.
And it seems like,
unless you're going to try to kill us all.
That's what helped carry the bag, man.
If he didn't see anything eventually,
he would have let himself pass out.
And as you fall asleep, you take your gear off
and you have a passing,
that last important thought before you fall asleep
and you hope that you remember it in the morning,
which was as your hand passed over the pommel of your sword,
the grip felt a little different, warm somehow.
And you go to sleep as the sound of ferns,
very jazzy, hot cross buns, somehow echoes miles away,
but still you're able to hear it very jazzy, hot cross buns somehow echoes miles away,
but still you're able to hear it and you're all able to get sleep.
And that's where we will wrap for tonight.
Yeah.
Yes!
Ooh!
Woo! Everything's going to be fine.
Everything's fine!
It's going to work.
Yeah.
In the back. Fantastic.
Literally. Bye! How are you working? Yeah. In the back. Fantastic.
Literally.
Guys, what a good time it is.
Welcome to the jungle!
Well, thank you so much for joining us.
We'll be back next week with another episode,
and until then, I love you so, so much.
Have a good week.
And is it Thursday yet?
Ding!
Abrea!
Woo!
Let's go!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo! Marada Nizalor moves through the jungle.
She is battered, broken, bloodied, but undeterred.
Lives have been lost against this shifting, shrieking terrain.
But what's one more life when there is so much to be gained?
Eyes forward, she moves her purple cloak to the side and pulls out another residuum spike. And the entire jungle,
Melora's sacred place,
shudders. Unlimited on the Critical Role Podcast Network. If you've enjoyed the show, please leave us a review on the podcast app of your
choice. Your review might inspire
someone to give this adventure a listen.
There are unlimited stories to be
told, and we can't wait to keep
telling them. Is it Thursday yet?