Critical Role - Into the Wilde | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 2 Part 1

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Part 1 of Episode 2 Gub Gub the Flying Pig has kidnapped Beau and Yasha and it's up to the feckless OLGA cabin to rescue their counselors... all before curfew! BEACONWe’re excited to bring you even MORE with a Beacon membership! Start your 7-day free trial today at https://beacon.tv/join and get unparalleled access to the shows you love completely ad-free! You’ll receive NEW Beacon exclusive series, instant access to VODs & podcasts, live event pre-sales, merch discounts, & a private Discord. YOUTUBE MEMBERS / TWITCH SUBSCRIBERSTwitch Subscribers and YouTube Members gain instant access to VODs of our shows, moderated live chats, and custom emojis & badges:https://www.youtube.com/criticalrole/joinhttps://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole   Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources

Hey there, Critical Role podcast listeners. We have a special new membership service at beacon.tv, where you can get early access to all new podcast episodes, including Critical Role for the first time ever. Beacon members also get things like event pre-sales, merch discounts, access to a private community Discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown, where we riff after the show.

Think of it as our digital Critical Role land. Head on over to beacon.tv to check it out for yourself and start a seven-day free trial. Thank you so, so much for your support, for being a podcast listener, and for being a part of our community. Hey there, critters. We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Exandria, The Re-Slayer's Take.

In this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Isilra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures. Here, the Slayer's Take is the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and re-slay these supernatural threats as the Re-Slayer's Take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria

battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast

including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux, and Jasmine Shion. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts, or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early and uninterrupted by ads. Hey there, campers! It's Game Master Sam Riegel, and welcome to our new miniseries, Wildmount Wildlings. In this three-part adventure, we're making our way

to Exandria's premier sleepaway camp for aspiring adventurers and following the antics of four angsty teen campers and their camp counselors, Beauregard Lionette and Yasha Nydorin. New episodes of Wildmount Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Pacific on Beacon, Twitch, and YouTube, with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following mondays at noon prefer your adventures in audio form well the podcast version arrives here on the critical role podcast network with a one-week delay from the original broadcast you're listening to part one of this episode right now and part two will be available this upcoming tuesday if you want instant access to podcast content and an ad-free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6 p.m. Pacific on Thursdays.

Plus, you can also check out our Beacon-exclusive show, Critical Role Cooldown, and experience the cast's post-show reactions to each episode. Well, that should cover it. Now let's wild out and get this adventure started. Hey, welcome back. It's me, Sam Riegel, and you're watching episode two of Wildemount Wildlings. It's so great to have you with us. And we're joined by our friends at the table, Ashley Johnson. Hello.

Brennan Lee Mulligan, Levi Barrere, Eden Riegel, Alex Lee, Marisha Ray, and some guys. I snuck on! But before we go into tonight's episode, I think there are some announcements to make. Someone took my, there it is. Marisha. Yes?

Oh, it's cheek to me. I think it's cheek to you. You have another announcement to make, I'm sorry. We just announced a new two-part underwater epic with 12-sided studios called Thresher. I'm very excited about this. This is a fresh new show that will feature Jasper William Cartwright as our game master,

as well as players Abubakar Selim. No way. Yeah, I know. Mark Sherlock Hulmes, aka Mara, Jane Douglas, Nashir Dalal, and Jacqueline Emerson. You can tune in to the first of this two-part mini-series on Thursday, April 24th at 7 p.m. Pacific on Beacon Twitch and YouTube. And in addition to that,

our Chicago live show is happening right now, as we speak. Now now? Yeah, now now. As this is airing, we'll be in Chicago. So we're in two places at once. So you can stay tuned to our programming schedule on CritRole.com to learn when you'll be able to watch at home. Liam, you've got something to say.

Liam! They let me sneak into camp just to tell you that Dear Cats and Prints and Other Xem'nian Tales is available right meow. This illustrated storybook is published with our friends at Insight Editions and was illustrated by Charlie Newt Borowski and written by me. Let me take a second to gush about Newt.

I know I wanted their art for this book years in advance. This is a gorgeous book. It contains Der Katzenprinz, Die Waldhexer, und never-before-seen story Himmelsschloss. You had me at Himmel. This is a work of passion for me. I'm very happy with it. I can't wait for you all to open the pages of this book. You can find it today wherever books are sold or learn more at insighteditions.com.

Cheek to you, Samuel. Okay. The cheeks are done. The announcements are finished. Ashley wants to see the book. I think we're ready to go. So let's dive into tonight's episode of A Critical Role. Okay. I need help next on this

maze. Like I said, our heroes are going to be lost in a very unusual maze. Like I said, our heroes are gonna be lost in a very unusual maze. Yes, Kestrel. What about for different people, if the maze appears differently? Sorry, what? For different people, the maze appears differently.

It appears differently for different people, okay. Maybe it could be like each person's favorite food? Each person's favorite food. That is very cool. I like that idea. Uh, favorite food? Each person's favorite food. That is very cool. I like that idea. If it is food, do you guys have some favorite foods that you can suggest that we can use? I prefer pasta.

You prefer pasta. Okay. Pha. That's very good. Yes. Pha. Pha? Oh, yeah.

Specifically used. It's made out of my wife's pha. Great. I love it. Yes. Alan, do you have a favorite food or dessert or something? No. You don't?

No, I don't. Whenever you're going in the wrong direction, a businessman pops up out of nowhere and lectures you about how you're doing the wrong thing in your business. I love the businessman. The businessman is going in the show. You're amazing. Okay, eyes on me. Here we go. Dream team.

Next, our heroes might come across a swarm of smaller beasts. These don't all have to be the same beast. They can be a bunch of different beasts. Yes. What do you have, Cass? What is this? What am I looking at? This is a possessed bunny. A possessed bunny doll?

Yeah. Okay. And does this possessed bunny doll have a name? Yeah. What is it? Half and half. Half and half? Does half and half have any special um does half and half any have any special powers

it can hypnotize it can hypnotize you okay with with its eyes yeah with its eyes with its eyes okay cool cool cool uh ronan did you have a monster that you want to present if you come across this bat thing it's sort of the monster but the bat one looks more like a bat. It's called a sonic scream. Sonic scream. You'll always come across one of these because that's the guard of a sonic scream. And it's like screaming really loudly. Yeah, they do.

Ah! Ah! Oh, God, that's so loud. Okay, I like this. Marlo, did you have something? A vikan, which is... I'm sorry? A vikan, which is like a lycanthrope and a vampire mixed together. So it's got like bat-like ears, so it can hear from like very far distances. And it's got bat wings.

And it can't really fly with the wings, but it's got wings. And how do you spell this? V-Y-C-A-N. V-Y-C-A-N. It's a half vampire, half werewolf. Yeah. Okay, I love it. Yes, Alan?

Okay, so we'll make it much less friendly, but what about like a group of sharks with legs? Sharks with legs, but unfriendly sharks with legs. Yeah, this one looks kind of nice. I don't mind a nice shark with legs. He could just be part of the gang and he doesn't have to attack or anything. Greta, did you have one?

Oh, a bad therapist. And his eyes really creep you out. A therapist is like a feelings doctor who helps you with your feelings. But this is amazing. So this is a bad therapist. And what do they do to you? His eyes really creep you out.

That's horrifying. This is horrible. Wild! Mount! Wildlings! At Wild, Wild, Wildlings We learn adventuring Wizards and warlocks

Rangers and scouts In fields and rivers We go exploring And when it's boring We wild out We are the Wildlings Yes, the Wildlings, yes the Wildlings, getting in trouble every day. No we're not troubling, we are the Wildlings, and we don't give a what you say.

Wild out! Attention campers! It's the last day of camp, and congratulations to campers who graduated to higher ranks. Unfortunately, the Olga cabin has not earned a single merit badge the whole summer. Counselors Bo and Yasha have been on hand to whip them into shape in just one day so they won't get kicked out. They took part in three activities, including Pinecone Keepaway, the Pull of Peace, and Hide and Seek. Yeza was working on potions and accidentally got Counselor Yasha drunk with gray smoke. A massive pig arrived and kidnapped Counselor's bow

and Yasha and is currently on the loose inside the camp, and the Olgas are the only campers around to do anything about it. Lunch today is postponed indefinitely. Oh no! Wild out. No! End of announcements. Yes, Beau and Yasha have been swiped

by GubGub the Flying Pig. And it's currently up to you four, Skullcrusher, I'm sorry, Skye, Kai, Padmin, and Jessop to find and rescue them, which means, for Ashley and Marisha, you may leave the table. Your story is happening elsewhere. No! No! We will check in with you later.

I didn't get your guys' autographs. We will, I promise. I believe in you. We'll do our best. Scoochie over. Scoochie over. Which leaves just the four of you. No, the peeps! You can leave the peeps.

Leave the gun, take the peeps. I'm scared. Okay. Wow, you guys have so much more room. Wow. Smoke and screams, chaos and pudding. Not pudding. Everything else, though, is true.

Fully recovered from their smoke-induced depression, Skye and Jessop have been shouting at the top of their lungs to try to find their friends because Padmandénd and Kai are off at a different part of the camp. They're in the admin building doing God knows what. But all those shouts did not reach their ears. Instead, Yeza, Veth's husband, runs out of his lab

to see what all the commotion is about. What is going on out here? Giant monster pig swallowed. And we got so sad. We were so sad. We were crying. The counselors, they're gone! They were gone.

They're in the pig. Oh my god, he starts pacing back and forth, nervously twitching his hands and fingers. Oh my goodness, insurance does not cover this. Where are your other friends? The other two, the other Olgas? They were hiding and seeking, and they were seeking elsewhere.

They were seeking elsewhere? We don't know. We called for them, but I guess they didn't hear us. Oh, well, I'll go call for them. Just stand here, and I'll go use the String Can Network to try to reach them. Just hold on and, oh boy, oh boy! He runs off to make a phone call.

You guys are left there alone. You can see on the ground the signs of the scuffle, those big prints of cat and chicken paws that GubGub the the flying chicken, made. And they do go off in a direction you could try to find them, but right now there's currently no sign of them. As you wait there,

Yeza goes and gets on the String Can Network, which is a series of tin cans and strings that are strung all around the entire camp. And he's going to call out for the other two, Padman and Kai. And you two, who are at the admin building, you hear a muffled sound. Padman, Kai, please report to the supply shed immediately.

Padman and Kai, can you hear me? There is a can hanging there on the admin building, but he can't see you or anything like that. So you are currently in the admin building looking at file folders. What do you guys do? Hold on to some of those files. We might need them later.

If we leave the admin building with him, it's stealing. No, we're just borrowing them, just for a little bit. Great point. In the spell book. And we'll walk out after Kai. We'll leave the admin building. Okay, great. And you're heading back towards the supply shed?

Okay, great. Sure enough, a few moments later, the two of them, Padme and Kai, walk up. You are all four reunited over by the supply shed. And from now, all is calm. Are you guys all right? What happened? Did he see the pig chicken at all?

The what? There was a giant pig chicken. Delicious, but what can we do about that? What did it do? And it swallowed Yasha and Beau. That was the most important part of the story. What? I know.

Is pig chicken a code word for something? How big was this pig chicken? It was really big. It was enormous. And it was 14 feet off the ground. Off the ground? Yeah, it was flying. It can fly? It can fly, it's got wings. We did a really bad job telling the story,

but those are all the facts. So a monster just ate two members of the Bitey Diet. Yeah. Does this mean we get our badges early? Or is the whole day canceled? What does this mean? I think we have to find them. I think we technically haven't even won the hide and seek

because of the pig. Well, we're alone here at this. There's a monster. Have you considered that maybe they were hiding inside of the pig? No, the pig seemed to take them by force. It seemed pretty clear that it was a... There's only one thing for us to do.

I'm going to turn southeast and start running as fast as I can. Just away, away. Ah! We caught you, old man! Stop it! We caught you, pig! No! Get out of your room!

I mean, come to the camp, man! You were so good at all your spells earlier! That was a literal activity! That was literally a camp activity! How do you know this isn't a camp activity, too? Are you out of your mind? They did say at the beginning that there would be surprises and fun.

What did I, did I say that? I have no recollection. Somebody said that. It doesn't sound like something I'd say. I woke up and said there's going to be surprises and fun. Why would I anticipate that? Guys, listen, everyone get their head on screwed straight. What?

We need to focus. My head is screwed on extremely straight. Somewhere southeast of here is the Bedagery Coast, okay? My parents' villa. We're comfortable. It's there, locked, but I can figure out a way to get in. If I can throw my familiar through a plate glass window and go in and mend it up behind me, you don't get that reference.

You weren't there. Where did that happen? Archibald, unfortunately, took a fall and went through the window. Poor Archibald. He's immortal. It was a very bad fall. Padmin, please come back. We need your help.

You're talking... The Mighty Died went to another dimension and fought like a god. What are their friends as three different people? Okay? They have powers and abilities. They're the gods. They face down demons and dragons. If a pig ate two of them, we can't beat that pig! How many legs did that pig have?

We don't, so many. So many? I actually, I couldn't count. There were a lot. More than eight? Can I somehow convince Padménd to stay with us and help us? That's up to you.

If you're trying to think of details of the, are you trying to describe the pig? Is that right? I realized I don't remember anything about how this pig looks. Okay, roll a history check to see if you can recall details about the pig. That is a nine.

History is which? Yeah, history and I would go with arcana, maybe. Arcana plus four, so 13. Sure, sure. Yes, you get sketchy details in your memory, but yes, you recall that it had multiple legs, probably more than eight, you didn't count them, but some were cat paws and some were chicken feet. You remember that it was multiple legs, probably more than eight. You didn't count them, but some were cat paws and some were chicken feet.

You remember that it was 14 feet tall, that it was flying, that it had rows of teeth. You also remember, and both of you sort of remember this, that there was a strange warping effect around it, like light was being bent as if by heat, but it wasn't hot or anything, or at least you didn't feel heat radiating off around it. Like light was being bent as if by heat, but it wasn't hot or anything, or at least you didn't feel heat radiating off of it.

It was sort of like this energy that was, yeah, just warping and bending light a little bit and making everything feel like this grayish sort of tone around it. And that it hopped away. It couldn't take off because of the weight. So it hopped away deeper into the camp. Okay, guys, I got this.

I walk over to Padman. Oh, he's walking. What is it? Listen, buddy, so like, those are the Mighty Nein, right? Yeah. Some big heroes that you're a fan of, right? Yeah. And so if we take this pig down and we rescue them,

what does that make you? The luckiest frog on the planet. You are the Mighty Ten. Wouldn't that be right? Died comes from the Zebby. I get it, I get it! The point is, if we save them, you will be a legend.

What do you think about that? Then we can make a card for you, and we can make it holographic. And with your signature on it? That card could easily go for 20 or 30 gold pieces. Absolutely, buddy. So what say you? All right.

This plan is just crazy enough to work. That's what I like to hear. We don't quite have a plan yet, but we do. This inclination is just crazy enough to work. Okay. You saw a pig with cat and chicken feet eat two of the most powerful adventurers on the planet and rush off into the woods.

But that's interesting. So it wasn't strong enough to fly. You'd think something 14 feet tall at the shoulder for a quadruped, and it doesn't have the strength to lift two humanoids. I would say, on the scale of creatures in our world, I would say the average humanoid is about medium size. Yeah.

Maybe the wings were just for show. I think that's accurate. I mean, you and me are small, but the medium size for them, for sure. Is there... Can I make an arcana check as well? I want to see if I've heard anything about a pig like this. If it has any weaknesses to exploit.

Sure, sure. Go ahead and say anything. What? Did it say anything? Make any noises? It went, it did. Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. Gub, gub.. Go ahead and roll. Did it say anything? What? Did it say anything? Make any noises? It went, it did. Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. Gub, gub. Gub, gub. Well, it's possible that that's the creature's name, although it'd be crazy to have a creature

that just said its own name all the time. Yeah, I don't know if that's believable to me. Crazier things have happened. That is a 10, Archon. Yeah, I mean, it sounds crazy. Nothing in your study, certainly nothing that you've learned at the camp, reminds you of such a creature.

Okay. Can I take a look around and see if there might be tracks leading in a certain direction? Go ahead and roll for either investigation or survival. You're looking for tracks. That's a 10. A nine. Okay.

I mean, yes, there are tracks. It's a huge creature, but you can't discern the direction that they lead in. There's just a bunch of them. A bunch of them, that's right, because they have so many legs. And they were all facing different directions on the creature.

It seems like we have two simultaneous problems. One is locating the creature. The other one is how the heck we get our camp counselors out of the stomach if we actually find the dang thing. I'm going to look up to the top of the curfew creature tower. Yes. I'm going to go, you know, I've never actually seen Vishi

because I have to go to bed super early. They didn't go. But theoretically, do we know when this creature's curfew is and if it would be in trouble for being out past creature's curfew is? And if it would be in trouble for being out past its own curfew? Or would we get in trouble for being out past curfew?

Yeah, I wonder if there's some way to convince the creature that we are absconding with this Gub-Gub, and that it would come searching after GubGub to find us. Meechee. Yeah, Meechee? Meechee, yeah. Meechee, yeah. That's just. Should we go talk to Meechee?

Yeah, we have to be slick, though. We have to use the, you have to speak to it in a way where after you're done talking, it does what you want it to. I know what this calls for. Like persuaded. I pull out my disguise kit and I put my two disguises on.

God. Amazing. Oh my god, they heard that guy! I walk up to, I want to go to the creature tower. Okay, so you guys are all going to together go over to Mishi. That's right. Okay, so Mishi's tower is just a few hundred feet away. It is a wooden lookout tower on big stilts, and up above it is that familiar blue and purple

furry creature looking down at you. It's Mishi the Curfew Creature. Would you like to try to get its attention, or? So first, I want to discuss amongst you guys. What exactly is the plan here? Are we trying to get info to see if Mishi maybe saw the creature and where it was going? Or are we just trying to make it so that we can

continue our adventures past curfew? So I'm definitely hustling on the camp counselor's got eaten problem. That's what I'm having. I agree, it would be sick to stay up late. Don't get me wrong. That would be rad as hell. But I think for me, just thinking,

look, if we found the tracks and we chased this creature down, it's going to eat us. Like, it's going to eat us. It's going to eat us. So we have to be smart. We have to do something. We either have to get some of, the only two things that occur to me are

Yeza's potions and getting some kind of like Ipecac or something that can make this thing barf. But what? That's a great idea, yeah. Get something that can make it throw up those adventurers and get an antidote. Why did they take that potion that made them so less powerful?

Just relax, we're kids. Just don't hit us literally as hard as you can. I do have concerns about if we do try to make the creature, if we do try to make the GubGub throw up, how toxic that might be, what we might be exposed to. Yeah. That might not. Sure, that's a good point. Do any of us have any kind of healing potion or spell?

I have healing hands. Okay, that could come in handy. I want to turn to Amishi and initiate a conversation. She's up the tower, so you just got to flag her down or make some noise or something. Hey! And sure enough, she sticks her head over the top of the tower, over the edge,

and she says to you, Hello, Daintyfeet. How can I help you? It's three hours and 30 minutes before curfew, by the way. I put on a voice and go, Daintyfeet, who's that? Oh. I'm sorry, I'm Jorb with

the Counselors League of Counselors. Oh, you're a counselor? I am, yes. Oh, where's your counselor uniform? Left it in the wash today. Didn't expect to be called here for an emergency, which this is what that is. Go ahead and roll a expect to be called here for an emergency, which this is what that is. Go ahead and roll a Deception check.

Deception check. That is, hold on. Oh, okay, not terrible, not terrible. That is a 14. Okay, pretty good, pretty good. She cocks her head at you and looks you up and down, and with a smile, says to you, Well, I know that that's not true,

but I can't fault you for trying. Other campers have tried many, many more deceptions on me, but you see, my job is to watch you, and I've seen you this entire time. I pull off my bottom mustache. Oh my goodness. It's only my top mustache. Oh wait, who am I talking to now? I mean, you know, it was just a test.

It's very, you know, customary. No, no. I'm actually Jorban from the Counselor's League. Can I roll one more deception? Go ahead, go ahead. Oh no, it's even worse! Oh no. 10.

Oh, I... Is your friend all right? He seems to be confused as to who he is. I take off my top set. Oh my goodness! I'm out of ideas. I applaud your efforts, but it's not my first day on the job.

If I'm not mistaken, my friend, you want to try to convince the pig creature that it's out past its curfew? Well. Are you guys talking about the pig creature? You know of GubGub, the pig creature. Oh, I mean, I saw it. I see everything.

Okay, if we knew that, where did it go? Do you happen to know where it went? There's two things I believe in more than anything. One is that curfew must be observed. The other is everyone's right to privacy. I'm sorry I can't reveal the whereabouts of the pig creature. Is it the, so I have a question

about your role at camp. You are, ostensibly curfew is a rule that exists to promote the safety and well-being of the camp. Yes, yes. So would you not say that the higher priority order is the safety and well-being of camp? I'm sure it is the higher priority for those that own and run the camp.

I'm neither. I only care about curfew. Okay. All right, well. I got one more idea. Now that I'm picking my head up from making my card game, I have to say, I have a lot of notes for how this camp is going. I have a lot of notes for how this camp is going.

I have a lot of thoughts that I will be submitting and writing at the end of the day. It was quite amusing to watch the creature bounce and hop across the camp. Padmin, I want you to look through your files that we took from Admin and see if there's any dirt on this Mishi there. Okay, I'll take a look. We stole files from Admin and see if there's any dirt on this Mishi there. Okay, I'll take a look.

We stole files from Admin, but I guess you don't give a shit about that either, huh? You're only creepy, right? No, it sounds great. You definitely took files about yourself and about Kai, correct? Yeah, and I think Jessop and Sky as well. Do you think that you grabbed something about Mishi as well?

Sure, I'll roll for it as if I did. All right, great, yes, let's see if you did. Go ahead and roll a, I don't know, a history, no. Boy. My investigation, history, and arcana are all the same. Great, investigation then. It's only a 10.

You definitely grabbed files about yourself and about Kai and maybe the ladies, but there's nothing. However, I will say, everybody roll just an insight check or a history check. You've had interactions with Mishi before. This is not your first day in camp.

16. Okay. Is it insight or history? Can we pick? You can pick. Okay, then seven. 16, 12. Okay. You guys have. 16s over here?

Yeah, you both know that Mishi is very good at her job. She makes sure that everyone gets home by curfew. You also know that she has some vices. She's greedy because she's not paid by the camp, so she gets money wherever she can. She's also a little bit vain. She stays up there most of the day with a mirror, just looking at herself and combing things out of her hair.

But that's all you know about her, are just her personality quirks. But she definitely knows where these folks went. Just doesn't want to give up the info. I put my hand on Mishi's shoulder. Mishi's up in the tower. You want to try to climb up there to do it? Yeah, I'm going to climb up there to do it.

Okay, great. Sure enough, easy enough. You climb up there. Hello. Can I put my hand on your shoulder? I don't see why not. Okay, I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder, all right? That's nice. Now, Mishi, here's the deal. Two of the Mighty Nein just got taken captive.

I know, I saw. By a flying pig creature. Uh-huh. You see that little frog guy down there? See him? Yes, I do. He has a bright future ahead of him. He has this incredible card game. He's developing right now. It's awesome. I've seen all the art. The art is amazing, by the way.

Is it like, is it a betting game? No, no, no, no. It's like a... It's tactical! Yeah, it's like a tactical card game. Are some of the cards like energy cards that fuel spells and abilities, or is it like a... Yes, yes, we have all that. Precisely! Not to get into the details, but here's the deal, right? Now, once he saves and rescues those two camp counselors,

I'm pretty sure they're going to reward us with an autograph on these limited edition cards. Wow. And once that happens, you'll be the first one, if you decide to help us, that gets a hold of one of these cards. So here's my deal to you, right? How much do you think they're worth? Oh easily With the signatures on them and once we get it holographic Easily, I don't know anywhere from two to five thousand gold coins

Insanely rare collector's item right now? I'll sweeten the pot for you. I can make some calls and get you your own card. Wow. Yes. So you're offering me a rare card that doesn't exist yet. Not yet, but it will. For a game that doesn't exist. Not yet, but it will. And you're assigning it a value that you are just basing on arbitrary guesses?

No, we have a focus group and a test group and we've run the numbers and it seems to be up there. Why don't you roll a deception check? 19. Okay. Oh, wow. Oh, a focus group. All right. Well, that does plus six. So that changes things. 25, 25.

Well, I would need to see one of these cards. What sort of mana are you most interested in? Mana, is that the energy that fuels the moves in this? We're workshopping other things. We might just go with energy. Spell fuel is another term that feels a little clinical to me, but. Just give her one of the cards.

Give her one of the cards. Can I use a Minor Illusion to make one of these cards appear? You sure can. What do you want it to look like? I want it to look like exactly the most valuable card that he was just describing. Okay. Okay, with a hologram feature on it?

Yeah, with a hologram feature. I think Minor Illusion has a 30-foot range, so you could make it appear up near her, if you're prepared to. All right. What is your spell DC? Let's see if she can see through the illusion. Hold on, I can look for you,

because I know you're new to this. Your spell DC is 13, so she has to roll to see if she believes that this card exists. So this card pops up in front of her. Are you presenting it to her? Yeah, I flick it out like this. Oh. Oh! There it is.

She inspects it. Okay. Wow. Can I see the back of it, please? Yeah. So you're acting like you're holding the card? Uh-huh. Okay. So you're moving your Minor Illusion with his hand

to make it seem like it's a physical thing? I'm doing it with my little monocle. Okay. So you're moving your Minor Illusion with his hand to make it seem like it's a physical thing? I'm doing it with my little monocle. Okay. All right, just roll a performance check to see if the illusion is convincing enough. 11 plus what? Performance, so down. Performance plus three.

Oh, that's very good. 14. All right, the illusion is maintaining. It looks like you're actually holding this thing. Well, I mean, if they're already in production, I suppose I could. All right, I'll take the card. Give it to me. Sorry, but this is a prototype.

It's very valuable right now, and we need to hang onto it for mass reproduction. So you will get your fair share once everything is done. Plus, listen to this, listen to this. Remember the offer where I said that we can get you your own card? Think of this. That means that you have the right to sign autographs.

Therefore, you're making passive income. Well, it's not really passive, but you know, you're making steady income from the card. So if I sign an autograph on the card, someone's going to sell these or distribute them for me? How does this work? Who knows what they'll do with it? But the point is that I don't know.

They will pay you and they can either keep it for themselves or sell it online. Or I mean, via the trade network. You mean various merchant guilds? Various merchant guilds connected via a web of merchant guilds. Listen, also, time is of the essence because if they die. I can barely hear you down there, darling.

What are you saying? Time is of the essence, because if they die, that card becomes less valuable. That's right. So if you give us that information, we can find them, and that card becomes so much more valuable. We're going to put the card away.

They need to be able to sign it. They won't be able to sign it for you. This sounds so convincing, and yet a bit far-fetched. Every great idea of this generation is far-fetched. Every great idea of this generation is far-fetched. I think that Mishi clearly doesn't want to work with us, which is a shame because I had actually just finished the prototype of Mishi's card.

But Mishi's not interested. I'm sorry, what was that? No, no, no, no, it's okay. We needed the most powerful card in the game, so we... I remember their work for it. Oh, you have the prototype, right? I do, I have the prototype. I want to give a help action on a performance check.

Okay, go ahead. Are you going to do another Minor Illusion? I can do another Minor Illusion. Okay, so that card has disappeared. A new card, please describe this card that is now appearing before Mishi. It is Mishi 6.0. Mishi is the most handsome, or the most beautiful version of herself. Her hair is flowing, she's holographic.

And it's gold foil. And it's gold foil. She looks like the ideal version of herself. She's never looked more beautiful in her life before. All right, roll a performance check with advantage, since you've got help with Padménd over here. 10. 10. 17. Plus three is dirty 20. Ooh. You see the ruffles of her fur

sort of go up for a second, as if she suddenly got goosebumps. Oh my goodness gracious. It's my very own card. Well, since you don't want to do it, I guess we'll just have to rip this up. I can reconsider. I just wanted to see how good quality these cards were.

And if you say that there's an elegant rule set that goes with them. It's deeply intuitive. Yes, complicated enough for the people who love crunching numbers. A minute alert, a lifetime to master. But also easy enough to pick up on your first try. Yeah, it's actually a game that's great for everybody, and everybody should buy it. It leaves no one out. 100% bargain appeal.

And people who don't even like these cards are going to want to buy the most beautiful cards for aesthetic purposes, because they're works of art. I heard some people just buy them for their coffee table to be a conversation place. And what is, one last question, I swear. What is the game called? We're workshopping the name right now, so. It's either going to be called Battle Cards of Wildemount.

Pretty good. Or Poker. Hmm. I've never heard of either. Listen, I believe in the right to privacy. I can't tell you where they went, but they didn't go that way to the Gross. They didn't go that way to the Gross. They didn't go that way to the Trail.

They didn't go that way to the Counselor's Cabins. So I guess that leaves, and she coyly nods in the direction of the Camper's Cabins. Ah! But remember, you didn't hear it from me. We will protect your identity from anyone who would be mad that you helped us find the monster. Thank you so much, Mishi.

Oh, you're welcome. Remember, curfew's in three hours and 15 minutes. You got it. Yes, yes. Yes, thank you, Mishi. We'll be asleep by then. Does that curfew apply to just campers or does it apply to everybody? Like monsters, for example.

Oh, everyone at the camp needs to obey the same curfew. Fascinating. Fascinating. Keep that in the back of your mind. Right. All right, let's go to these campers' cabins. And you do. You follow the path towards the campers' cabins. You know them very well,

and as you walk that direction, searching for Beau and Yasha, now would be a good time to check in on Beau and Yasha. So we're going to cut away to them right now. Oh no, what is happening? Why are we tied? Thank you, Sam. Ah!

Actually kind of got me. Beau, Yasha, being carried away in the mouth of a giant pork creature did not harm you, at least not physically. It did harm your pride, being two legendary members of the Mighty Nein and being defeated so easily by a giant piggy bank. So easily, just straight in the mouth. Was a bit shameful, but. easily, just straight in the mouth. Was a bit shameful, but... You don't have to keep rubbing. Yeah, you don't have to, we got it. Your physical bodies were not harmed.

However, hi. Yeah. Hi. Hi. However, something happened to you. You both were hypnotized in a way. You both blacked out. I don't know if it was the rocking motion

of this animal carrying you around in the darkness, or if there was some sort of tranquilizing agent in its poisonous saliva, but you both passed out. It was very warm in there, too. Yeah, it was very warm. It was like a womb again. It really was. Being in the womb.

It was kind of cozy. But now you've woken up, like we are, in a very dimly lit room. You can't really make out the features of the room. Your eyes are still adjusting and you're waking up. You're groggy. Your vision is a little bit blurry. I can't see.

Yep, that's what I just said. I can't. I'm feeling it out. But you've woken up tied to two chairs and tied to each other with some sort of chain. No, not a chain, a rope, but it's an unusual rope. It's not of a material that you're familiar with. You're still sort of getting your bearings.

What is this material? What is this? It's so strange. Why don't you roll a perception check to find out? Oh, wow, okay. You've got to drop it down a little. Thank you. When you move, I move. It's bad. It's a four, right? I think my perception is a plus six or something.

I can't really do this that well. Will you move this out of the way? Anthony? Okay, yeah, it's a strange material that you can't quite understand, but you do get the sense that it is animal in nature. In fact, this might be a finely woven rope of cat fur, which is very unusual.

Huh? Oh no, no, I'm allergic. I know, I'm sorry. Oh, this is the worst day. What would you like to do? Okay. I have a lot of questions. I feel like there's a lot to unpack here. Yes, which is why I don't understand how this ended up happening. How did this happen? Do pigs have opposable thumbs? And chicken feet? And chicken feet? How did we were sleeping in there and then we woke up and we were tied to this chair like, did a pig do it?

But also, you were drunk! I was not. That wasn't what happened. You said... There was like a poof of smoke and I got a little, felt a little drunk. Okay. But I don't know why. We don't need to argue about this right now.

No, no, no. We need to work together as a team, babe. Look, how are you feeling? You still feel like that fucking potion is still like... Why did we do that? Why did we do that? I've only punched like two, maybe three kids in the past. Yeah, maybe three.

And that's not a lot of... That's not a lot. You could have punched so many more kids and you didn't. And they don't trust me. Because you chose it. They don't trust me to not punch kids. This is unreal. Well, I'm gonna try to like, get my muscles really, really, I'm gonna try to,

really gotta flex. Okay, as you both flex, your rippling awesome muscles, the ropes stretch and poof! Okay, as you both flex your rippling awesome muscles, the ropes stretch and poof! An explosion of some sort of mist comes out of the ropes themselves. Oh no, what? They flash with a shimmer of light and a mist shoots out of them. Please roll a charisma saving throw.

What? With disadvantage, you, because you're still drunk. Oh no! That's an eight. I don't know if it's gonna be. Where's the next? Just kidding, it's worse. Pretty bad, seven. And then you. Come on, Bodai.

What is the one? Bed! Four. Bed! Why is it emitting a, it's poofing. Why is it poofing? It's getting on its- This mist flies into your nostrils. It is some sort of enchanted cat dander. And you are both instantly poisoned by it.

Do you know how cats mark their territory? Yes. And isn't it like cats, their pee or their poo? It squirts. It squirts. Is that what this is? It gets in your nose and then you become crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not pee or poo. It squirts. Is that what this is? It gets in your nose, and then you become crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not pee or poo. It's cat dander. I think this is pee or poo. Yeah, but even the dander, the dander is what makes. It can fuck with your brain. Tactile plasticity. It's 100% not pee or poo. It is cat dander, but it is mystical,

and you both suffer now the poisoned effect, so all rolls will be made at disadvantage disadvantage and because your eyes are puffy, you're itchy, you're not feeling comfortable, you feel like you're being hugged, an uncomfortable hug and all of your strength rolls will be at negative five. What, what? Why? I wasn't strong to begin with.

You guys are mighty legendary heroes. You've suffered traps like this before. And we're becoming undone by cat dander? Oh, I never wanted to be a cat lady! You know that magic like this doesn't last forever. You can probably wait out the effects, but it might take a while. And until then, I'll leave you to it.

Well, what are we supposed to do now? I don't know. This is every minute that goes by, we're leaving the kids unattended. What if there's other creatures out there that they get eaten or killed and it's on our watch? That is, there is a non-zero chance. That is very actually likely to happen. We're gonna get in so much trouble. We're gonna get in so much trouble and they're good kids i really actually kind of like them i do too for like four hours but i actually really like them me too i was a little nervous at first but but yeah you know like they're all so interesting and different i was afraid they were gonna smell weird yeah i was a little afraid they kind of do do. You know how kids have, like, they do.

But it's not bad. It's not bad. Kids have, like, a smell, you know? They have a dander, too. They do have a dander. There's kid dander, and now we're dealing with cat dander. They kind of throw, like, wet socks all the time. Yeah.

You know, it's like they're, they're, they're. We've got Skye, who's like, she's so, she's buff as fuck. I know. I really wish she would, like, lean into who she is. Yeah, lean into it, but also, like, wants to practice magic. Which, you know, I can't fault her for. I love, you know, broadening her horizons. I love it. Like, if I

could do magic, I would be so happy. Yeah, you can do a little magic. Yeah, I can do a little. You have magic wings. Yeah. Yeah, I mean do a little magic. Yeah, I can do a little. You have magic wings. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I sometimes secretly wish that I could cast something. Yeah. Like something, like a fireball coming out of my hand. I mean, I guess I can talk to Caleb.

I guess we could talk to Caleb. He's not busy. Oh, Caleb was part of the reason! Fucking Caleb! Ugh! I swear to god. Okay, wait, I got an idea. What if...what if we... This hurts my pride.

What if we yell for help? I mean, I don't hate it. Okay. It's an option. I mean, maybe the kids are close by or somebody. Maybe they're close by. They gotta rescue us. This is a test, right? They gotta do it. They gotta do it. Yeah, maybe this is a test. Maybe this was set up. Okay.

Help! Help! Hey! Beth! Kids! Kai! Children! Penman!

Jessa! As you guys yell and struggle futilely, we will fly back to the world of Skye, Kai, Jessup, and Padmin and check in on how they're doing. Get me out of here! Kids! Kids! And we're back with the Olgas. You four round a bend and are on your way to the camper's cabins

and are met with a jaw-dropping sight. It's the camper's cabins, you know them well. There's Rooster's Roost, where the bards bunk. Lion Lodge for warriors, fighters, and paladins. The Pigpen for rangers and their beast companions. Compass Keep, Unicorn haven, the foxhole, the nest up the boughs of a tree, but all of these cabins are covered

in the most amazing food you've ever seen. Stairs and bridges of stacked stakes lead to pasta pathways and blueberry pie cobblestones underfoot. There's a fountain of pho in the courtyard in the middle. The best way to describe this is a maze of yums. In fact, I would love to paint a picture for you, but strangely, you all see a slightly different set of meals.

Kai, what is your favorite food? A big steak, a big ol' steak. Yes, and so most of the cabins you see are just covered in red meat. Big ol' slabs of Kobe beef and beautiful T-bones and all kinds of hamburger meat dripping down the sides of the walls. That can be good.

Skye? Shepherd's pie? Shepherd's pie, it's the most beautiful shepherd's pie you've ever seen. There's an archway made out of it, the big hole in the middle with the dripping peas and carrots coming through it. Sounds disgusting, and also I'm hungry. Jessop, what do you see?

I love kimchi for the probiotics. Okay. Or the pungent aroma of kimchi is in the air. Tangy and zesty, and yes, indeed, there's windows made of very thinly sliced kimchi that you can see through in a disgusting, beautiful way. Cadmium, do you have a favorite food?

Shoofly pie. Shoofly pie. I'm unaware what that is. What is that? Shoofly pie in the real world is made of molasses, but in Exandria, it's made with real flies. And the flies are buzzing. There seems to be, well, actually, everybody roll a perception check

to just see what you see. 23. Oh my god. It's a one, so I'm going to roll again. God, I hate that. 13. Because I have no morals. You just said perception? Yes. 10. Okay.

Between the group, you all get a sense for what this place is. Everything about the place seems off. The smells don't match up to the sights you're seeing. Beef smells like matcha tea, candy smells like dog food, but you do see a big main gateway, which is an archway made out of pepperoni pizza. But you, whoever rolled above a 15,

also notice that the entire maze shimmers with a faint warping. Again, that strange light bending effect as if being viewed through heat. But there is an archway that leads into it, and that's all you see. Should we go in? I'm going to look around.

Have I ever seen this much food at camp before? No, no, never. I mean, there's definitely healthy portions of breakfast and lunch and dinner at the groves. Phyllis, the chef, makes a fine, fine sloppy joe, but never this much. I'm going to look and see beautiful molasses filled with deep-fried flies

oozing out of a giant slice of pie and go, that's my mom's special recipe. She would never make time to come here. Oh. This is fake. This is not real. This is illusory. We are the victims of an illusion.

Oh, I get it now. For sure, it's an illusion. The four of you are smart enough to know that this isn't real, but it sure looks real and something or someone or some effect made this. And it seems to be surrounding the entire campers' cabins. I think we have to check it out. Can I go up and touch it, at least?

Sure, you go up and touch it. The food that you liked, again, was shepherd's pie. Yes, it feels and looks like shepherd's pie. Be careful, don't eat it. It might be dangerous. I was just going to say, try to bite. If anyone will, it should be me. Because I have a terrific constitution.

I think if anyone... well, that's interesting, because eating it probably won't have a biological effect if it's illusory, but it might have a mental one. Ah. I have a terrible constitution. It definitely shouldn't be me. Well, I'm literally immune to poison. Ooh.

And I have a- And you are very hungry. You're going to taste? Yeah, I'll taste it. Okay. Let us see what happens. You taste something very wonderful. Roll a d4, if you can. Three! if you can. Three. You instantly get a bite

of your mom's shoo-fi pie in your mouth. It's delicious. You gain three temporary hit points. Oh! The illusion is perfect. Now roll a wisdom saving throw. Three temporary hit points. Not great.

That is going to be, on a wisdom save, that's going to be an eight. Okay. You had to beat a 10, you didn't, but because you gained three temporary hit points, you actually had to beat a 13. So you did fail. All of a sudden, you're overcome

with that feeling of homesickness, of tasting your mother's cooking. You got to go in there, and you got to just taste more. Home is in there. You got to go in. I'll take a bite and I'll be like, Bob, and I'll walk in the door.

You go inside. There are tunnels made of this stuff going right and left. In fact, you walk about 10 feet in and there's a branch, right or left. You guys can do whatever you want as well. You can try to stop him or you can just watch him go in. No, this is obviously going to hurt you more. What? It's delicious pie.

It made me feel incredible. Too much of a good thing is not that good of a thing. I've had one bite, Kai. There's too much here. I know you're going to have more than one bite. Are we all aware that he's taken damage from eating this thing? He hasn't taken damage. He actually feels better now.

Oh, I see. You guys got to eat your Bob's food. I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this. No, listen. I took one bite and I realized we don't have to do what we were doing before. We just have to run into as many tunnels as we can. How many tunnels are there in Farfetch'd right now? I mean, it looks like a complicated,

almost like a treehouse. Oh no! Robinson Crusoe treehouse of different branching pathways that go up and down. Brennan, Padme, you do recall what you were trying to find, which was this pig creature, and you hear faintly down one of the halls,

gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. I hear the gub, gub! Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. It's down there! Maybe it's got my bomb! And I'm going to start running. Wait, it might be another illusion. So you're gone. You're running down the,

which way did you go, left or right? I assume I heard it down the left? Yes. Oh, it's down the left. Okay, so you're off down the left. What are you guys going to do? You guys made me take the right. I'm going to go see if this guy's okay. You're going to go right?

I'm going to go left. Oh, you're going to're going to go right? I'm going to go left. Oh, you're going to go left, okay. Wait, and just to be clear, so he feels better, but he took hit points? So he took temporary hit points, which means he's actually got more hit points now than when he started. I'm tougher than I used to be.

Oh, so he's doing better. Yes, he's doing better. He's feeling right. We should all eat the food. Oh, I don't know. That's up to you. I'm just here. I see that seems risky, but it's... I'm not touching that thing.

My eyes get really big. Everyone do it, too! Do it, too! All right. Yeah, I think there must be something fishy about this. Cadman convinced me to eat mushrooms once. Not a good time, so I'm not doing this again. That's the only way to build a beauty.

I don't want to do that again. You know what? I've been really scared and I've been really nervous and that's held me back. And so, you know what? I'm going to take a chance and I'm going to eat some of that kimchi. Oh my god, you're going in. Because it also looks really good.

Okay, you take a handful, roll a d4. That's the triangle-looking one. How do I tell what it is? Three. That's the one on the upper one. You add three temporary extra hit points to your total. Cool. Now roll a wisdom save. That's...

not great. Oof. Five plus two, seven. Yeah, something about that left passageway is calling to you. Not great. Oof. Five plus two, seven. Yeah, something about that left passageway is calling to you. You have to go. You have to go right now.

I have to go. I have to go right now. So you've just watched two of your friends dart down this hallway. Are you going to follow, or are you going to do something else? I still feel pretty full from that jerky before, but I definitely think we should follow them

and see if they found anything down there. I mean, yeah, I guess so, but I'm not eating that. Let's just go after them and see what happens. You tear in, you're both going to go in after them? Yes. All right. You follow down the hallway. You can hear their footsteps up ahead. You're running down the hall to meet them.

Hmm, how do I want to do this? Okay, for all of you, you rejoin each other at another one of these splits. One hallway goes right, one hallway goes left. Someone decide which way you guys are going to go. Can I make... What would it be? Would it be insight or investigation?

You can, if it's investigation, what are you looking for? And if it's insight, what are you trying to discern? I'm trying to hear if I can catch any more gub-gubs. Okay, great. Perception check. Perception, okay. Perception, that would be 13. You do hear a faint gub-gub-gub-gub-gub down the right path.

Well, should we go after it? Do you hear something? Can I make the same perception check? Sure, go ahead. Just to make the same perception check? Sure, go ahead. Do the same thing. 13. Also down the same path, yes. All right, here we go. All right, you guys go.

Everybody roll a dexterity saving throw. The floor falls out from under you. Damn. Dexterity. Where's that one? Okay. So I got a 21. Where's that one? Okay. So I got a 21. Amazing. That's great. 14.

Great. I got a 10. Okay, so the two of you, our friends who have taken a bite of the forbidden fruit, fall. You find yourself suddenly falling and you land with a thud in a pit about 15 feet down below.

The two of you manage to avoid this trap door that has just opened up from under them. You're still up top in the tunnel. This is my sick wimp. Yes, in fact, Skye was about to fall, but you were so deft that you grabbed Skye and pulled her back just at the last minute.

You guys are at the bottom of a pit. The walls are smooth. There's no rope or ladder, only darkness and silence. You guys okay down there? What happened? Oh no. Are you hurt? Can you see anything? Oh, there's no gum gum down here. I'm okay.

Do you need help getting out? The walls feel like they're closing in a little bit. Closing in? I can hear that my friend is starting to get panicked. Uh-huh, of course. And so I use my Marvelous Pigments to draw a painting of a rope. Okay.

And I'm going to lower it down for her. Okay, that's going to take you a second to do. So as you start to paint with these pigments, you're trying to paint the image of a rope. Amazing, that's going to take you just a second. And while it's happening, for the two of you, a flash of bright gray light temporarily blinds you. Please roll an intelligence saving throw.

What is going on? This is so weird. 10. Okay. Uh... And saving throws are right here. 17. That's really great.

For you, Padménd, this light that temporarily blinds you, it doesn't last long, but for a moment, the world around you goes blurry, loses a bit of its color, and when your eyes readjust to the new visuals, you find yourself in a memory, a flashback. This is a pivotal moment in your life, a moment of realization or decision or regret. It could be when you were very young,

it could be at the camp, but it was a pivotal moment in Jessup, not in Jessup's life, in Padman's life. Can you describe to me what this moment was? There was a moment prior to Padman's dad is not comfortable.

He's filthy fucking rich and is a merchant and a sailor. And there was a moment when I was very little, when I first started coming to the camp, I overheard a conversation between my mom and my dad about splitting this summer because I said that I didn't want to go to camp for the whole summer because now that I was old enough to go to camp, I'd also be old enough to work on my dad's ship. I overheard my dad talking to my mom

about finding a way for me to not go, because he thought I'd be a liability. So the next morning, I said that I'd changed my mind and I wanted to go to camp for the whole summer. Ooh. This memory floods back so realistically. It's like you were there reliving it, reliving all the emotions of it,

and it distracts you. It distracts you so much that you don't see the four small pipes open on the side of the pit and molten lava start to slowly bubble out of the pipes. Good lord. What? Pooling around your feet. You resisted the flash of light. And so this effect does not affect you.

So you definitely see that there is lava spilling out around your feet right now. You have a few seconds to react and you see your friend Padman here staring into the wall, lost in thought, unable to move or do anything. You're still painting. It's going to maybe take you another few seconds. What's everybody doing?

Why are you painting? I have a rope in my back. I take my rope and I'm going to toss my rope down. Great, great. And I yell out, Jessup, catch! My clumsy hands grab onto it. And yes, sure enough, you take hold of it. You've got it. What would you like to do?

I, am I strong enough to grab him? Oh boy. I mean, you're a medium creature or a small? You're a small creature, okay. But you're not very strong, are you, Jassup? Let me look at your strength. Negative one to strength. This is going to be a tough lift,

but you can try because just pulling yourself is hard enough. Now you're going to have to pull another dude. Let's see if you can do it. Let's roll for strength and see if you can carry both of you guys up the rope. 14. 14. 14.

Not quite great. Just shy. You do start to make it up a little bit, but it's a really hard pull because of his weight, the extra weight. He's still down there. The lava is getting closer. In fact, I would say it's licking at Padmin's feet.

And Padmin is going to take one point of damage. Do I snap out of my reverie? You can roll to see if you do. Go ahead. This is an intelligence save. 12. Still not good enough, I'm so sorry. Do I snap out of my reverie? You can roll to see if you do. Go ahead. This is an intelligence save. 12. Still not good enough, I'm so sorry.

Oh no! Can I snap him out of his reverie? How would you like to do that? Question, if I do that, would he be able to possibly pull himself up? If he's out of his trance, why not? I want to try to send a firebolt, not at him, but next to him.

Amazing. Okay, great. You're going to shoot fire at the lava? Great, let's do it. First, flip a coin to see if you can get your wizard act together. Come on, come on. It's heads!

Okay, so a firebolt indeed originates from your hand, face, feet? Yeah, I swirl it and I say, I- I swirl it. I swirl it. I do a swirling motion and I say the words as I remember them. I'm a bit stressed, but they do come to me.

Okay, great. The firebolt flashes right in front of your face. It's a bright light and go ahead and roll again to see if you can break out of this reverie. That's an eight. Still not there. I wonder, is there a way in which I can use my panic, my wild magic panic, possibly in my favor

by seeing if I can get a spell favor by panicking and seeing if I can get a spell that could possibly help us. Okay, you're just going to cast a spell and hope that it's random? Yeah. Great, I love it. Go ahead and first roll your d6. I'd say you're at level two of panic now, unless you think that you're even more.

I'm pretty panicked right now. Yeah, I'm level two. Level two sounds good. Okay, so roll a d6 and see if you... d6? It's the square one. d6 is the normal one. Right. Tell me what you land on. Six.

Okay, your spell works. So what spell were you casting? I have no spell that helps us here. No! She wanted it to not work! I guess... Yes, I guess. Yes, charm person. Or can I Sorcerer's Burst to blow a hole

in the thing that we're working on? Sure. So it's like you're at the bottom of a well. It's round and there's some pipes sticking out that lava is bubbling through. So you could try to blast the pipes so that they would stop or something. You don't really know what's on the other side of this wall.

Can I try and blast it so that a wall breaks down so I see what's on the other side? Go ahead and fire away. Roll to hit, I guess. Usually, when lava's coming from somewhere, there's more lava behind that thing. I don't know, this might be the best. 11. Plus, I don't know, this might be the right thing. 11.

Plus, I think, three, right? Plus three. Sure, that hits. Then just roll for damage, I suppose. That's a d8 to see how much damage you caused to the wall. Right there, you got it. Two. Okay. And you're aiming at just the wall? Yep. Okay, it you're aiming at just the wall. Yep.

Okay, it's a pretty solid wall. Your sorceress burst hits into the side and ricochets around all over the place, causing cracks and stuff to the wall. Doesn't cause a whole bunch of damage, but it's so loud and startling that, once again, you get to roll an intelligence saving throw. This is the one. This is the one.

You got this. Nope. Nine. Oh no! You take another two points of damage. I'm out of temp HP. Okay. But surely to mercy, my rope is ready by now,

and I can lower myself down to grab him. Oh sure, your rope is 100% ready. You surely to mercy, my rope is ready by now, and I can lower myself down to grab it. Oh, sure, your rope is 100% ready. You guys watch as, well, you watch as her paint solidifies and becomes a solid rope made by the finest, what's a rope maker called? A luthier. Thank you. I knew you were going to say that. A luthier is a violin maker.

Is that right? Yes, what's a mercer? What do they make? Oh, it's wool, right? Okay. Anyway, your rope is awesome. You tie it off against Kai. Hold this!

All right. And you slide yourself down. I look at the other rope in my hand and this one. Hold them both! Okay. You slide down. You are in the pit. What do you want to do? I want to try to use my muscles

to grab the scruff of his neck. Yes, you are very strong. Throw him out of there. You're channeling your inner barbarian instincts to grab him and use your strength to pull him up. Yeah. You're not going into a rage, are you? No, certainly not. Certainly not, okay.

So this'll just be a clean strength roll, go ahead. A mercer is a dealer in textile fabrics. Thank you, I knew it. I knew it was something weird. It's only a five. If only you had been raging. Oh dear. And for strength, that's a plus two, it's a seven?

You can't quite get him, but maybe together you could on the next round, but for right now, you're going to take three points of lava damage. The lava is pooling up higher and higher. Oh no. So what's the situation? We have three people down there now?

You're holding two ropes. I'm holding two ropes and three people are down there. What is Catatonic? I'm really panicking again. I'm really wondering if I, maybe I try and cast another spell. Go for it. What spell are you trying to cast?

I'm trying to cast perhaps an infestation that a bunch of birds come from below and lift us up. Sure, yeah, why not? Go ahead and roll your d6. I'd say you're at a three stress at this point. Well, three does something different. Okay, then we'll just say two. Right.

Two. Okay, your spell does not work. Instead, your nervousness makes it fire off in a crazy way. Roll a d100 and tell me what you get. Oh my god, it has to be anything. 24. Mm-hmm.

Describe yourself again. You don't have to look, I got you. Oh, I'm 5'11", and tall and thin and hunched over. And what color is your skin? Blue. Okay, your skin turns blue. Is that all?

It's a vibrant shade of blue. Wow. It's a slightly different shade of blue. Did you just change your skin to a slightly different shade of blue. Wow. It's a slightly different shade of blue. Did you just change your skin to a slightly different shade of blue? What are you guys doing there? A nice tan, a nice suntan. I'm panicking so bad!

Okay, you guys are both down there. Kai, if you want to try anything, now's your chance. Okay. So, I'm going to jump down there, too. Oh my god! I jump down there. We're holding the ropes! I jump down there. We're holding the ropes! I jump down there. And I do have. I'm living for this.

I'm living for this. Let's walk Sam slowly into a full kid camp TPK on camera. How many of you lie? And I say, don't worry, guys. I got this under control. Okay. So you land deftly right next to, everybody's really crammed in down there. It's not a large hole.

You land in a puddle of lava. Oh dear. Ouch. You take one point of damage. Okay. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to throw her out of there. Yes! Whenever you get a chance. And I'm going to grab Padmin,

and I have my Ring of Jumping. Oh, you do. And I'm going to try to jump out of here. Okay, great. Sky, are you going to throw her out? Not when I have a spell that I can use. Great, okay. So let's see how this throw works.

You loft Padmin into your hands and throw. No, I'm going to jump. Oh, jump, that's right. It just happens. You just jump. That's right. It's an easy jump for you as you activate your, what is it, ring of jump?

My ring of jump. Okay, you easily jump Padmin and yourself out of the hole. You are free, you are both clear, and you come back to your senses, confused at what just happened. Oh my god, our friends! I jump back in the hole. Is that true?

I have a 21 strength and a standing leap of 15 feet. Well, now you're conscious. And a climb speed. So I come out and I go, huh, what are you doing? And I jump out of the hole. And I will grab my friends. I think with the 21 strength, I can have to burn them.

Easily, however, on landing, you take another two points of damage. Ow! Ow! And with the strength of your amphibian leg muscles, you leap both of your friends out of the... I would say that you have to do them one at a time. They're large. They're large.

So who would you like to take first? Who acts next in initiative? We didn't roll initiative, but probably Eden was about to do something. Eden, I know that you can get yourself out just fine because you're very strong. I'm going to grab J. You can get yourself out just fine because you're very strong. I'm going to grab Jessup and get you out of there. Okay, Jessup.

So everybody is clear except for Sky. What are you going to do? In fact, while you're thinking about it, you take four points of damage. Oh my lord. And do I put this in there? You can. You can also keep track of it on your page. Is that HP damage?

I can go down four points? Yeah. Wow. Oh, but it didn't save. Well, I'll figure that out. All right, well. All right. All right. I could, can I, can I climb out without using a spell?

You can. It's a perfectly smooth pit. The stone is perfectly smooth, or it was before your shot. Your shot caused a whole bunch of cracks to form all around that you could use to climb out. There's also the rope. Is there still the rope? I thought you dropped the rope.

I didn't drop it. I jumped down there, but the ropes are still up there. I guess. I thought you were holding the rope and then you just dropped them. I think you jumped down while you were holding the rope. Sorry, I misremembered. The ropes are gone. Did you throw the rope?

No, the ropes are gone. The ropes are down there with you. I'm going to try to use my jump spell. You have a jump spell? I have a jump spell. Okay, great. Go ahead and cast it with your barbarian wizard ability. First roll to see if this spell even works.

It works. And sure enough, you cast this spell on yourself and feel invigorated to jump as high as you'd like to. Boop. You're out! You made it! You guys did it! Good job! You didn't die in a pit. That was chaotic. That's a wrap for part one of this podcast episode. Part two is heading your way this upcoming Tuesday at 5 a.m. Pacific,

and we'll pick up this adventure right where we left off. Until next time, we'll be back at Camp Wildemount before you know it.