Critical Role - Tag Team At The Teeth: The Misty Ascent | Critical Role Sydney Live Show 2025 Part 1

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Part 1 Check out our 2025 Sydney Live Show!When characters from both the Mighty Nein and Bells Hells find themselves mysteriously split across parallel realms in The Shattered Teeth, they must unite against a common threat.... Join Game Master Matthew Mercer and the cast of Critical Role as Jester Lavorre, Ashton Greymoore, Yasha Nydoorin, Caleb Widogast, Veth Brenatto, Chetney Pock O'Pea, and Laudna work together to uncover the truth behind their interdimensional separation in this unforgettable live adventure!" PROLOGUE DESCRIPTION:For some extra lore about our Tag Team at the Teeth Adventure, check out our official Tag Team At The Teeth Prologue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq8RYa0M5EkBells Hells have joined the Mighty Nein at sea in search of Ludinus Da'leth and his safe haven in the Shattered Teeth. As they approach one of the Teeth's mysterious islands, the Nein Hells suddenly find themselves split and separated in parallel realms… Get your Critical Role Live in Australia T-Shirt Now! Commemorate a couple epic adventures from down under with this dark green Live in Australia t-shirt featuring a tag-team inspired design of the heroes of Campaigns 2 and 3: The Mighty Nein and Bells Hells. The details of both Live in Australia shows are printed on the front with the official Critical Role 10-Year Anniversary logo on the back.Link to shop: https://shop.critrole.com.au/   Critical Role's 10-Year Anniversary Sydney Live Show took place on June 19th, 2025 at the ICC Sydney Theatre. BEACONWe’re excited to bring you even MORE with a Beacon membership! Start your 7-day free trial today at https://beacon.tv/join and get unparalleled access to the shows you love completely ad-free! You’ll receive NEW Beacon exclusive series, instant access to VODs & podcasts, live event pre-sales, merch discounts, & a private Discord.   Emceed by Tom Cardy || @TomCardy1"Paint that Lady," "Monster Truck," and "Mixed Messages" by Tom CardyCharacter Art by Hannah Friederichs || @agarthanguide

Hey there, Critter Podcast listeners. We have a special new membership service at Beacon.tv, where you get early access to all new podcast episodes, including Critical Role for the first time ever. Beacon members also get things like live event pre-sales, merch discounts, access to a private community discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown. Think of it as our digital Critical Role Land.

Head on over to Beacon.TV to check it out for yourself and start a seven-day free trial. Thank you so much for your support, for being a podcast listener, and for being part of our community. Hey there, Critters. This is Ashley Johnson. And Talison Jaffe.

And we're popping in here to talk about our new podcast on Beacon, Weird Kids. In this series, we're diving into our lives as former child actors, from unraveling our eccentric upbring to embracing all the delightfully odd interests we still have today. We're covering.

so many topics like antique toys, taxidermy, Japanese pop culture, and honestly, anything else we come up with. Weird Kids is available exclusively on Beacon. But good news, we're offering a one-month free trial on Beacon.tv so you can take a look before you become a member. Just use the code weirdos at beacon.tv to start the trial. You can also find fellow weirdos by following the series on our At the Weird Kids Pod Instagram and using the hashtag. So to all the misfits, outcasts, and weirdos out there, come take a seat at our table and celebrate all things unconventional, nostalgic, and wonderfully weird. Welcome to Weird Kids. New episodes release every Tuesday.

Hey there, it's Liam O'Brien, and welcome to the Critical Role Podcast Network. We're stoked you're here, and thanks for making our stories part of your day. You're listening to part one of this episode right now, and part two, will arrive this upcoming Tuesday. If you'd rather listen to the full episode right now and without any ads, consider becoming a Beacon member. You'll receive access to exclusive content, discounts at all our online critical role shops,

exclusive pre-sales for live events, and much more. Start your seven-day free trial today at Beacon.tv. Well, that should cover it. Now let's dive into the adventure. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Sydney, how are you feeling? You're going to have to do better than that. Cindy, how are you feeling?

Oh my God, D&D is the ICC. It rhymes so you know it's good. Guys, my name's Tom Cardi. I'm going to be your MC for tonight. I'm going to do some silly songs before some friends of... Thank you. Before I have some friends come out here, guys. Who the hell is excited for some critical role tonight?

Yeah, I thought so. I feel the same way. Guys, this first song is a song I wrote... I watched The Titanic. You've heard of that movie before? It's very good. It's a new movie. I got up to like half a movie.

Halfway through when like Jack was painting Rose and it's very sexy, you know. Like paint me like one of your French girls and I stopped it because it was too horny for me and I put it away. This song is called Paint That Lady and it's about my future wife. Thank you very much. Hit the track, thank you. It's serious, it's very sexy. Cross your legs guys. We like eyes from across the room and you say what's up. And I say, what's up?

And we know that it's good. Do you want to be my lady? I want to raise your baby. My only job is to pleasure you. But first I'm going to use my thumb to measure you. You know you're dealing with a gentleman when I got a one finger, mama. Lovely lady wants a gentleman's dick,

but first you get the acrylic. I'm going to paint you with my watercolors. We're going to have sex, but not just yet. First, I'm gonna paint you It's an aphrodisiac girl Get the Monet like Leo da Vinci I paint your clam like a Baticelli Before I let you get away with this dick

I get to painting and I make it erotic You can be my rose, I will be your jack But we're not on a boat We are out the back of my mother's house But the sexual tension is still Titanic I can't wait to please you when I'm finished Painting you in about five hours Hour three and you move your head slightly to the

left well I think I better start again hour eight and the sun's coming up and the light has changed so I think I better start again the sexual tension has been greatly magnified by the 12 hour Bob Ross Joyride I made you wait now I know what you want and I'm gonna give it to you Sydney I'm going to do you I'm gonna do you Cindy I'm gonna do you with my charcoal I'm gonna paint you with my charcoal we're gonna have sex definitely too nice but First, I want to get your head right. I'm going to pay you.

I'm definitely not stalling for time. No, I'm not definitely not, definitely not. No. I'm not stalling for time. I really do want to have sex. I'm not stuffed at a tolling. I'm not stuck on the tolling. No.

No, I'm not stalling. They never put the explosions there. I said, let's move the tables and just have explosions, but they wanted to play Dungeons of Dragons as well. This next song is very important to me, because I don't know if you guys know this, but Jacob Collier is coming here in December. You guys know Jacob Collier?

You heard of him before? He's like that English singer, who's an incredible singer, and he makes his audience, like, sing in harmony. And I thought it would be really cool. if we prank the fucker. So what we're going to do basically, and you have no choice in this, it was in the fine print of your tickets, I thought it would be really funny if he gets here in December.

He's like, oh yeah, I love the ICC. I can't wait. I'm going to do the very first, like, harmony choir of the audience. And some stage hand is going to be like, they did that in a Dungeons and Dragon Show six months ago, get the fuck out of here. So basically, just don't freak out, but halfway through this, I'm going to like divide you.

like divide you. This half, you're going to sing a little harmony. This half, you're going to sing a harmony, and you're going to make my dreams come true. This song is, thank you. This song is probably the most powerful song in the entire world at the moment. I wrote it when I was three and a half years old. It's called Don't Touch My Monster Truck. And it's about you not touching my monster truck. Thank you. Let's do it. Hit that. Michael's here for your sleepover. Please play nice. You can touch my Lego, you can touch my Pokemon cards, you can watch Njago or play with thought of Asgard, you can touch my fidget spinners.

My dad bought me 18, you can play with anything, but please don't touch my monster truck. You can play my Fortnite, you love Fortnite. You can touch my bike, or my kite, or my Spider-Man Light. You can touch my fucking slap bass. But if you touch my monster truck, I'll stab you in the face. You can touch the pills that my dad keeps in the bathroom. You can smell the things in my sister's bedroom.

You touch my Tonka truck? I couldn't give a fuck. What's the one thing I said? Don't touch my monster truck. If you touch my monster truck, I'll fucking bite you on your arm. And then my mama gonna call your mama and say, take your dumb ass kid back home.

And I know for a fact, you got no dunker roots, you got no fruit rollups in that two bedroom apartment. All you got is a marriage on the rocks and the feeling that you fucked up I touch in my monster truck. Sandy. Feeling that you fucked up,

I touch in my monster truck. I'm like a four-year-old right now. Imagine that. Feeling that you fucked up, I touch it. If you tell anyone at school that I cried when you touch to touch my monster twas. I'll tell everyone at school that you got no TV at your house and you shit yourself. My dad could beat up your dad. My dad is John Cena.

I'm allowed to drink Coke. You've got a weird dick. My mum says that your dad is a cup. All right, it's happening now. They're tough. We're going to do it, all right? Monster Chuck, Monster Chuck, Mim-M-A-M-M-A-M-A-M-T-T-R

Repeat it now. Monster Chuck and Monster Chuck Keep doing that, it's up, ready? Monster Chuck and Monster Chuck, M-M-M-A-M-M-A-Munster Chuck All together? Oh, So, I am a little shit

The kind of kid that you'd love to hear it But you can't, because hit shit is wrong So you're settled for watching me get hit by my mom in a A crowded supermarket A crowded supermarket And take the opportunity while I'm stuck To kick the shit out of my monster chuck You kick the shit out of my monster truck

I dropped my thing You want to kick the shit out of my monster truck Oh Sidney Kick the shit out of my monster truck Take your dumb and get back. You want to kick the shit out of my monster chuck. Explosions. I'm going to have a word.

It was on my rider. 17,000 explosions. That was kind of cool. Halfway through that, I became a DJ. You see that? Thank you. I love you too, Tom. Thank you.

I think it's kind of cool to think about just then. And we have some, like, Americans watching, right? That's what the cameras are here for. How cool is it? That there's, like, D and D here, but D and D there as well. It blows my fucking mind, guys. So I thought it would just be a cool opportunity because I think Americans are quite interested in the things that we say, right?

Like the little kind of funny, little buggery, get a dog up your kind of things that we say. So I just thought in that, I use a lot of Australianisms in my music. And I just wanted to, like, clear, in that song, this is for you beautiful Americans at home, and some who are backstage eating vegamide. In that song, I said dunkeroo's, which in Australia, yeah, yeah. In Australia, a dunkeroo is a sex act.

A chocolate dunkeroo will cost you extra, am I right, guys? This is my final song, you've been so beautiful. Thank you so much. This song, that's it. This song is either about sending mixed messages to someone you like or punching someone's dad in the dick. I don't know. Let's do it.

Hit the song. It's Sunday night and you're at home all alone. Last night was great. It was our very first date, so now it's time to pull out my phone. I'm going to send you something real quick. It ain't going to be a dick pick. No, no. Romance needs clarity, but baby, that don't work for me.

I'm sending. Mix messages. I send the first text in a cute. cute way and then I don't reply for seven fucking days yeah mixed messages or you text me what night am I free and I reply yes full stop I send you a little smiley face so you send me a back a little smiley face and then I say hey and you write back hey and I say hey what you say you said hey first and I say okay chrysont emoji fuck you

It makes me a little bit. One second I say, you're very pretty, and then I show up at your house and I kick your dog, yeah. It's a Shih Tzu. I pay for the dog's veterinary bill, but then I punch your dad in the dick, ha ha ha. Now we're going to a hospital. Just me, you and your dad in the back of an ambulance. And even with your dad's broken dick, the air is thick with...

Sexual tension. I'm really sorry for punching your dad in the dick. I won't do it again. You make me shake his hand and promise, but as I do, I ball up my other fist, and I Put your dad in the dick again. Yeah, I punch your dad in his broken dick again. You think I'm sexy because I'm mysterious, sending you these mixed messages. Stop punching my dad's dick.

Okay, but then I wink. Grab both of my hands quick, stopping my third attempt to punch your dad's dick. Oh baby, you've played this game before, but I've played more. You got both my hands, so I use my head. my head. A head butt your dad's pants in the back of an ambulance. And between the headbutt our eyes lock because we're holding hands. We can't help but kiss over your dad's not once. Twice, thrice, broken dick. It makes messages. I say I love you in a cute way and then I punch your dad's dick every day. Tell your dad that I'm sorry but then punch him in his dick again.

Explosions! Guys, thank you so much. Now I've done my little song, are we ready for some friggin' D&D? Yes! You're going to have to do better than that! Are you ready for Critical Role? Let's bring them out! First up, let's make some noise.

The one, the only Laura Bailey! Keep not going for Marisha Ray! Up next we have Liam O'Brien. Keep that going for number four in the roster, Talas and Jaffe. Keep that going for number four in the roster, Talas and Jaffe. Next up Ashley Johnson Travis Willingham. Keep it going for Sam Rangel!

And your Game Master for tonight and forever Matthew Massa! Thank you. Well, hello, everyone. And welcome to tonight's wonderful Critical Role live show here in Sydney, Australia. Yeah! Go ahead! Oh boy. It sounds like thunder.

Like thunder. Yeah, no pressure. Thank you all so much for joining us here in person. And those of you abroad or later, whatever may be, but the energy in here is already palpable and terrifying in the best way. Wow. Oh, boy. But thank you all so much for joining us.

Before we jump into our episode tonight, we do have a few announcements. to get through. Marisha, you have a quick announcement to make, too. My favorite part was how the front row was actually concerned and not having it. They were like, no, no. We saw your faces. I could see you. No one said there was

a splash zone. It was very yeah. We're sorry, Australia. But before we get into that, just a friendly reminder to please not post spoilers of tonight's episode online. Not just yet. Did you know? You're the

first ones to see this. So other people will have a chance to see this. Share photos. Talk about how great of a time you had. But just don't post spoilers. Don't be a dick. Thank you so much.

That is the golden rule. I believe that concludes our announcements. Oh, man. Oh, shit. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's live episode of Critical Role. All right. All right.

All right, friends. Sit down. It's hard being crocodile person. Valid. After the strange creeping of some odd, sourseless spectral mist began to rob your troop of friends and members. After a mysterious and sudden surge of color, only a few remain here on the deck of the nine heroes.

Jester, Caleb, Yasha, Ashton Chetney, and Veth. Chilled to the bone and lost in the mist, it is but yourselves that remain upon this done. It's the crocodile. You did this, you are. You did this. Children. These waters are filled with beasts.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, thank you. She's found me again. You can bring it out of the intermission. Children. The looming shadow of the fast approaching island itself growing closer and closer. As the midst of the chaos, the anchor was not yet placed Before, boom, you feel the ship lurch as it runs aground.

You glance over the side to see the dark, sandy beach that greets you. Like an endless display of grains of long-tumbled obsidian, the black beaches of the island have met you. Your mind and your wits just click in to realize You're not sure what happened and where your friends are, but you've arrived. Bo? Where is everybody? Himigen?

Himigen. Hot Minotaur! Hot Minotaur! I'm going to send a message to Ford. All right. Are you going to say his name? twice. It just feels like we were all doing that. Ford?

Ford. Yes. All right, good. All right, I'm going to send a message. Ford. Ford. Okay. Where did you go?

We are at the island, but you disappeared with everyone else, and I'm really worried. Did you go home? Are you in the water? Do I have more? As the words leave your mind and your lips, the magical essence of the sending spell flings your cries out into the ether.

You hear nothing in return. But hope they found the ears of your lover wherever he may be. Don't worry if you're feeling lonely, you know, I happen to be... I happen to be an excellent cuddler. I believe you. She is engaged to be married,

and some of us take marriage very seriously. Now, where is your hot minotaur friend? Welcome to the shattered teeth. Do you think we're ghosts? I'd be so excited, honestly. I don't feel like that would be much of a departure for you. This is very different than what we had last time. That...

Does this even look like the same island? Glancing around what little bit of the beach you can see, there's nothing about it that seems familiar. Wait, when you guys were here before, did people disappear on you? No! There were some pirates and skeletons, and there was some tattooing,

but I don't think that that really... Tattooing? And a sword. I got a whole thing on the... Do you want some more? I mean, look, I'm really distraught right now. I could use a good distraction. I would take one if it...

Well, yes, I've already given you some. If you can figure out how to tattoo solid stone, honestly, that's a story I get to keep, so yes. Caleb runs over to Miss Apocopy and kneels down quickly. Let me see your hands. Are they whole? I have any broken fingers.

Are you well? Can you still work? Oh, Jesus. Another fan boy. It only took 400 years for them to recognize my greatness, but now it's my turn, bitches. My fingers are fine. So you can still make toys?

I can make toys. Any kind of toys? I rip one of the wooden columns out of the edge of the ship and had it to him. I mean, I can make a toy or I can make. There are other things to worry about right now, Caleb. A toy? With that banister piece, it feels like that would be a hefty, double-sided implement of some sort. It's a bit splintery.

Here you go. Okay. Half the work is done already. For her pleasure, I'll get right on it. We should really focus, though. Yes, yes. We lost half our team. You lost half your team.

No, you're right. Laudna goes over and she picks up a glass and just throws it against a wall. What was that for? If we're ghosts, that's what ghosts do. Oh! I don't think we're ghosts. Wait, wait.

Chetney runs towards the wall. We're definitely not ghosts. We're, can someone remind me what we were looking for in the first place? Are you serious? One miniature, one miniature, and apparently this is what two weeks on the ocean has been. Really?

No, I actually forgot as well, which is not a surprise. We were looking. Just a reminder wouldn't hurt. We played the exposition five minutes ago. I know, but it wasn't piped backstage, stage. For some reason I could not hear it? Sending is still a little off.

Yeah. The most dangerous mage in Exandria is hiding in the mist. He's not that bad, but okay. You weren't there. Ludeness. Ludeness. We're looking for him. He escaped or something.

And clearly he knows we're coming because he split us up. Do you think it was him? I don't know. I thought the shattered teeth were just like this weird place that sometimes did weird crazy thing. Was it lewdness? If he were trying to actually deal with this, why would he split us up, though?

I don't even necessarily think he knows we're here. I think, I mean, this doesn't feel like his the kind of thing he would do. Can we look around and see if the sky is the same? Does it look like a technical or dream code? Does it look like the same space we were in? Go ahead and make a perception check for me, check. Oh, shit.

First roll. First roll. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Uh, 19. We're going to live. Not that.

Glancing in the immediate vicinity, the mists themselves are thick, and that odd spectral mist that swooped in and took your allies away is no longer present. Just the still-cold, ever-thick fog that completely swallows this island. What you can see through the mists at this proximity is the shadowed, still mostly obscured shape

of the massive monolithic mountain. that consumes the center of this island landmass. However, with the 19, you can tell a few things. One, you can see the faint edges of a jungle line, roughly 60 to 100 feet beyond the black sands that are at the edge of your ship. And secondly, this is not just a solid, mountainous mass. It looks like the mountain itself has shattered,

like it had detonated from within. You can see massive cracks and pieces of the mountain expanded outward and just locked in the air, like it was frozen mid-destruction. You can see dark shapes, ribbons of parts of the landmass winding around and corkscrewing like this incredible, terrifying monolith had been sundered and locked.

Oh, shit. You can't even see the peak but the clouds swallow it partway up. You can just see large boulders and chunks of it slowly rotating and shifting with the wind around it, just barely visible, the outer shadow line of their presence visible. I'm going to jump off the side of the boat. What? Does she do that?

I'm going to find my wife. I'm with that one. This is stupid. We're out in the open. Let's see if anything happens to her first. No, I'm... Really? I'm fine.

Does she survive? You leap off the side of the boat. Hitting like the black fan, your feet dig in. Your dense heft of musculature pushes you a few inches into the beach. You stand up strong, your broad shoulders holding your blade at bay, and the jungle line ahead of you. Hey, look how many friends it takes to jump off a boat for me, and I'm going. I'm fine. I'll go, too.

Thank you. Look at him go. You're either out in the open or we head towards the jungle. If we're getting off the boat, I'm getting off this boat. Are we getting off? I think we're here. We should get off the boat. All right. I got you.

I don't. I will leap into Yasha's awaiting arms. Perfect. Oh, no. One by when you all step off the boat under the black sands and begin heading in towards the jungle. It only takes a few steps of Yasha leading this charge before you feel something tug at your boot, Yasha.

Something's tugging at my boot. From beneath the black sands that begin to emerge and billow outward, you see these strange hook-like claws latch onto the back of her boot as some sort of odd segmented beachworm. Massive and terrifying. Seems to claw up and they get to dig into her heel. And you watch the sand shifts around you, immediately, you've stepped into some sort of a feeding zone

for massive, terrifying beach entities. I need you all to roll initiative. See, I told you! You're right, we should have stayed on the boat. That would have been great. Yeah, no, totally. Shit, this is so early. I get to kill them.

Oh, balls. Oh, I'm real good. Oh, no. Wow, no. 13. 25 to 20. Oh, no. 21. Oh, no.

Yes, exactly. Oh, no. 20 to 15. Oh, fuck. Oh, my heart. 15 to 10? 14. 14.

Oh, 12. Rollies. Rollies, Roles. Jester and Yasha are rolliesing. 19. Eight. All right. Jester, Yasha.

And Chet with a 12, bitch. And then Ashton with a 10. Ashton, all right. What did you get Caleb and Veth? eight, seven. What? Oh boy. All right.

So, Lodna, you begin to see these creatures, these odd segmented, like, claw-faced beech worms that most of their body is submerged or at least not visible behind. As Yash begins to step forward, you watch its body get pulled out of the sand. You have no idea how long it is.

But even, like, the five, six feet that gets pulled free is a terrifying inclination of how much more might reside beneath the sand as it pulls at her, But you have initiative. What do you want to do, Lovina? Icky. Icky. Wow, I hate this. Let her die and run.

Okay, first and foremost, I will use my bonus action to go into my form of dread. No, no, no, no, no. What form does your form of dread take? Well, look, you know, I've been inspired by the ocean and being on a boat, so it's like, you know, a little pirate winchy, but make it spooky. So your hair turns in like clumps of black seaweed hanging from a pirate hat sort of. Oh, that's cool. That's even better. Yes, that's great. That's great. That's great. Incredible. And then from there, I'm going to go ahead and cast Bain.

Oh! There it is. There it is. I'm like a sand work. That classic bane line. Yeah. It's the best one. So you cast it on the one that slashed on Yasha's ankle?

Yes. All right, it feels like. Wait, how many are there? You just see one emerging at the moment, but you see sand shifting around other people. Can I try? If you want to hold your action for others to a pop, you can do that. I will hold my action. Fair.

You prepare your bane spell for more to arrive. Yasha, run, stir up the sand. She says that as the entity, its mouth and jaws open wider, almost like its head splits a little further down, and you can see just multitudes of weird, thick, viscous saliva-covered teeth that begin to latch onto your leg. It's going to attempt to attack you, Yasha. Okay.

That's going to be 17 to hit. No. No. It chews on your boot but cannot find purchase in you. However... Oh, sweet thing. Five other ones emerge around the others that are standing along the ground and making an attack against each of you.

Have you left the boat yet? I mean, you said we all hopped off. Well, you were the one that hadn't confirmed. I'll give you the opportunity to stay, or would you have joined everybody? I would have joined me. Then six of them arrive and attack all of you. So for, oh, that's a natural 20 against you, Veth. Oh, me!

But I'm just a cute little thing. All right, Veth, that's going to be... Hold on a set. Actually, you know, you do get the bane going now. I do get the bane. It won't change the critical, but it will affect the other attacks. I'm going to do it at third level so I can get four. All of them, you got it.

That's a fail. That's a fail. That's six fail. Seven fail. Even with a 14, it's a fail because you're high DC. Oh, okay. 18? 18 is my DC.

Okay, so I'll say the one that's attacking Chetney succeeded, What the fuck? What the fuck? Two plus. Two plus. It's because I got money now, isn't it? Is this what this is about? Yeah.

42 points of piercing damage on you, Veth. Can I uncanny dodge? If you'd like to, yeah. I will. And 34 points of acid damage. Whoa! Whoa! What?

As it wrap? What? You're level 20 and 17. What am I supposed to do here? That is so much more. These terrifying corrupted worms begin chewing up your leg, and one of them just kind of devours you halfway up, like Andy Circus in that weird King Kong movie.

The rest of you can at least see the upper half of Veth as she has been half swallowed by one of these beach worms. So you can have such as... It's 76 halved is 38 or something? Yeah, so there you go with that. So there's 38 points damage to you, against... Caleb, minus a D4. Oh, it rolled really low.

That's going to miss you. Against Jester, oh, that's going to be 21. Minus D4, minus 1, 20. Oh, that's my armor class. All right. And so with that, minus D4, you said?

Bain. Yeah. Bain. Yep. Okay. All right, so it's going to be 14 points of piercing damage and 20 points of acid damage.

We gotta get off this beach. We need a healer somehow. I don't know. With a minus D4 on you. Yes. That's going to be a 17 to hit you, Lodna? Shield. Misses you entirely. Ashton, that's also going to be, well,

yeah, same thing. 17 against you, Ashton. I'm fine, yeah. All right. And Chetney is not bained, but against you, that's going to, same role again. So that's going to be 19 against you, Chetney.

Fuck, it's my AC. Perfect. Everything is going according to. Oh, no, your hands. Oh, no. Whatever will you do? Anything about my hands. He needs that for me.

15 points of piercing damage. 15 points of piercing damage. 1.5. Yep. And that's going to be. 19 points of acid damage. Damn! Ow!

As they all, you watch, as you all begin to pull back out of the way, you have your hand up? Can I hellish rebuke? Can I hellish rebuke? You can indeed. Bring it, Constitution save on them, or dexterity on that one?

I don't dexterity. Oh, massive failure. Yes, that's 3D10. Let's go. All right. Ooh, 16 plus 5, 21. points of cold damage. One point of cold damage.

As your rebuke hits, you watch as the icy rays of your energy burst and tear through this creature. It kind of shrieks and pulls back a little bit, but still kind of tries to reach for you. It looks fairly hurt, but still holding its gaze to try and rush towards you. So finishing their turn now, that brings us to the end of their go.

Next up in the initiative order is Jester with Yasha on deck. What do you want to do? You said it looks fairly hurt. Yes. I did 21 points of damage. Yeah, at least like I took her head. Hmm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. All right. I'm going to cast. I'm going to cast spiritual guardians. At fourth level.

All right. Should I do more? This level. Okay, in fifth level, I'm going to catch spiritual guardians. And, you know, fifth level, spiritual guardian unicorns are, like, tougher than... So I'm kind of looking at Ashton as I cast this, and all of my spiritual unicorns are, like, super punk as they come out. They're all like this and, like, sticking their tongues out, and they've got spiked up. moha. Are they, like, their fingers coming out of the hoof or something?

Oh, yes. Okay. My spiritual, these ones have hands. Just for this, porpoise. Hams? They're hamster unicorns. They have little tiny fingers. Ah, all right. That's a better picture. Beautiful. As they emerge out there, swirling around the space, some of these creatures are going to curl back away, prepared for what's waiting them the next time they have their turn. But your guardians are up.

At the end of your turn, it brings us to Yasha. Hello. All right, I am going to Rage. And fuck it, let's go reckless. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah! It's cocked, which is appropriate for my first role. I'm okay, I'm not going to start with that one.

I'm really sorry. Okay. Oh, that's not the best, but that's okay. All right. That'll be, actually, that's not that bad. 24. Oh, 24 definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that. So, uh... That would have been a crit in Daggerheart. Wow. All right. So we got... Oh, yes, and it hits, so Divine Fury. Okay. So we got... Eight, and turn, uh, twenty-nine points of damage. Ooh, a hefty first hit on the, as your blade carves through a large chunk of it kind of shears off, exposing it's like somewhat dark, purple, black innards as the outer armor gets cloven off and it kind of shrieks back and it's still trying to hold on to you. You can take your second attack, if you like.

Taking my second hit, reckless again. Go for it. Much better. Okay, so, not that it needed it is. 17 plus 15. That hits, yeah. You can go roll damage. That is, ooh. All right.

Jet lag and math is really fun. 21 points of damage. 21 points of damage. You cleave it a second time by setting it just in the back of where its head and clawed face would be, As you carve free, it lets go, and you watch as it falls to the ground, twitches before going still.

You've slaughtered it where it's still. All right. What I would like to do is reach my hand for it in the sand and pick up some of it and pick it up. Dinner! And I'm going to sling it over my shoulder. That's gross. You got it.

All right, as you say dinner, and you shout this out of the rest of the group, you see a shape emerging from the tree line to the jungle. rushing, foot over foot, sprinting in your direction. If we can please have Tom Cardi come to the table. Oh! Let's go! Hello! Hello!

Thank you. If you wouldn't mind, Tom, describing what they see emerging from the mist and shadow rushing across the beach in their direction. Yes, baby. You see like a seven and a half foot blue man with just like kind of white hair kind of like bouncy, kind of like cloud-like,

and he's just belting as fast as he can with like a gold leaf sort of loot slapping across his back very awkwardly. And he's kind of trying to shout to you, but you don't quite maybe hear him. But he looks super excited, but he looks super excited, super excited, but also incredibly terrified at the same time. And he says, there's worms in the sand.

Are you a ghost? What, maybe? Ghosts. Are you ghosts? And then he stops for a second. You know, it remains to be seen. We got to get the fuck out of here. I wouldn't stand there.

There's worms in the sand. Oh, now you're, I'm aware of the worms, okay. Okay, I'm fully aware of the worm situation in the sand. Where, where do we go? Just get off the bloody sand for first of all. All right, let's go, let's go. Yeah, we take off running towards it. Start squishing.

All right, I would like your whole group at this point. We'll say for the purpose of this to make a dexterity saving throw each of you. To try and dart away from the grasp of these worms to try and rush away from the beach. A group decks check? Natural 20. This is a check or a save? This is the deck saving for us. Say it.

Okay. Deck save. Okay. Hmm. 25. Yeah. Fantastic. 17.

17. Barely succeeds. You need to be 15. Come on, widow gas. Well, I got a six, but I will use my ring of evasion to help me juke to the left. Fantastic. All right. Ladna. 16. 16. Success. Ashton. 15. 15 just barely makes it.

26. Get off me. After the one had been sundered and sent bloodied and scattered across the black sands, the others were kind of taken aback by it and all lurched for your team as you pushed off towards this strange cloud-haired blue fellow that is shouting to you from the tree line. As we dart away, can I just stand still for just a minute so that my... spiritual guardians feel like they did something? Well, the spiritual guard, yeah. So although the rest of them run away, you instead start doing like a dance in the sand

to keep them from biting your feet with a natural 20. Yes, you can totally, you're like avoiding and like pirouetting around them, jumping off. It's almost like a music video, like you're pushing off their face. And as try as they might, you're just too cute to be hurt by them. As the guardian, suddenly these punk unicorns just, and tear into them.

A bloody frenzy surrounds you. My beautiful minions! There's something wrong with her, isn't there? Yes, yes, there is. Just a little. As Caleb streaks through, he grabs three to five of them out of the air and shoves them in his coat and keeps going. One by one, you all rush away from the immediate danger of these beachworms

that begin to recoil back into the black sands, themselves still staying to the places they were buried and not giving pursuit into the nearby jungle. And there, you take a minute, take a breath, and look upon your strange visitor here on the outskirts of the island. Hi, who are you? Wait, no, I think this is their friend, Dorian. He just got super big and buff.

I think he's been eating steroids or something. My characters are blurring together. You don't eat steroids. You can. You put them up here. No, it's true. You don't eat them up. You do put them up.

Not that I'm taking it, of course. But that is the appropriate way of doing it. You've met Dorian. This is not Dorian. Everybody looks big to me, baby. Well. What's your name? Thank you for warning us about the black sand

that we were already dying in. That's okay, but I also think it's kind of rude to talk about someone else right in front of someone when they're standing in front of you. Yeah, that's fair. It's fair. Okay. Yeah.

You're very handsome. Okay. All right. I don't know if I can blush, but let me try. Oh, he's purple. I'm just saying, we're very happy you're here. Thank you. May I...

Oh, you were real. Okay, okay. I thought you were illusions for a second. I thought you were just this island playing another stupid joke on me. Okay. How long have you been here? Can I just touch everyone's shoulder first? This is kind of a thing I have to do.

I appreciate that you ask, but now. Okay. Wait, wait, how long have you been here? How long have I... That's a good question. Oh, easier one. Why is the island stupid? Why is the island? Look around, dude.

You just got eaten by almost big worms in the sand. We have a weird life. Worms in the sand kind of happen on occasion. That might have just been us. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. You don't remember how long you've been here. It's kind of complicated.

I know it wasn't recent, but... It feels like a long time. There's something in me that feels like, I grew up here. You know when you, like, think that you grew up somewhere, but you also can't remember anything about your entire existence? No. I don't know. I was trying to connect with you guys.

All right, I fucked up. You know when you're seven and a half feet tall and blue? Does anyone... Yes. No, but I have a friend who does. Can I touch your shoulder? Yeah, all right. I try and pickpockered.

Wait, what's your name? This is a little. long hug, but I appreciate it. So go ahead and roll sleight a hand, Ashton, and if you wouldn't mind rolling a perception check for me. That rolled really bad. Roll poorly. Yeah, uh, 13.

15. What does he find when he rummages through your pockets? A bunch of sand and shells. I keep a shell. I'd just like to know I could pull it off. Thank you. Fantastic. I'm drawing it. My name is, my name's Ethel. That's crazy to say out loud.

I feel like I haven't talked to anyone. Ethel River Gold, and he kind of shows his flute on the other side, and he's like, and it's inscribed with a little bit of gold. He's like, yeah. That's beautiful. That's amazing. Did you come here with anyone, or did you actually grow up here? No, I've always, I've always been here.

I just don't know how long. Do you guys, you guys live here? No, we just took a ship that ran aground here after half of our crews got sucked into nothing. Oh, my God. Okay, this is actually real, okay, this sounds like a bad thing, but it's actually, let's just put our bright smiles on. This could be a really good thing, guys. How so? Let's all touch shoulders, I'll tell you. Come on. There's a lot of shoulders.

Okay, okay. Wait, wait, are you able to leave here? Have you ever tried? No, no, not at all. Are we stock here? No, we have a ship. Oh, I forgot. Ethel, we're looking for someone, a very powerful mage. named lewdness.

Luddness. We heard they might have a dwelling way up in the mountain. Do you know anything about a lewdness? It's a silver-haired A very sweet old man. Will not shut up. Ever.

He also did some really bad things. Terrible shit. Smooth talker. He's kind of good looking. He sounds charismatic. He's not. Okay. You seem conflicted over this

in your own parties. Look, I got to say I haven't really heard of this really hot old dude that you're talking about but I don't know when you just mentioned the mountain like I've checked everywhere on this island trying to get off here

and try and understand what's going on how have you tried to get off I'm sorry don't fucking do it don't we're in another country we're in another country

I mean that was teed up well wait wait Has the mountain always been a little explodey like this? To be honest, that's why I'm kind of excited that you guys are here, because I've checked everything on this island. There's worms everywhere, number one. But every time I try and go up that mountain, I just...

I basically fall asleep and then wake up, back down on the sand. You fall asleep. I just forget what I'm doing. It's weird. And then I walk down, I'm like, oh, you know when you walk into a room and you're like, oh, there was something I was supposed to do in here. Yeah, yes. It's me and walking up in the house.

Yes, yes, I touch his shoulder, inside check. Oh. It's a natural one. Can you grab my knee? I sure do. What was I doing? Wait, do you have family here? I don't know.

I think so. Oh, boy. I got those, and I kind of point, like, over in the jungle. There's these big statues. There's these huge things that they, I mean, they kind of look like me, so I imagine, yeah. Oh. Uh-oh. What?

Maybe there was his family that got turned to stone. Maybe he was a statue that got turned alive. Do these statues, I'm going to very carefully walk over, not super close. Do they look like a monument or somebody who unfortunately became? Well, he points into the jungle, but you don't see them present. You'd have to presumably travel in the direction of his point. All right. So I'm the world's greatest toy maker now,

so I'm going to try this on a human and I never have before. Can I reach out and grab his knee and I'm going to use grim psychometry? Just to try and understand the story of where this blue beauty came from. Interesting. Go ahead, if you don't mind.

I don't. Go ahead and roll for that. I feel Chetney's hand meet mine on his knee and say, it is a pleasure to watch your work, Apocopoe. What are you guys saying down there? Nothing important.

They're just talking about wood. As I grasp his knee and feel Caleb Widow Gass's middle fingers start to rub mine. 19. Oh. 19. As you try and connect with whatever dark history might be present with this entity, known as Ethel. The vision hits you a little bit up the thigh.

There it is. You see a flash of the island's shape but in deep black silhouette against like a red sky, like some sort of artistic interpretation of a historical moment, just barely visible to your mind's eye. You watch it crue.

crack open. You see a black shape emerge from the center of a massive crevasse that seems to tear as it stops in place. You see masses of jungle around this shattered island mountain shiver and suddenly hold in place like themselves, still kind of taking in the quake of this destruction before time holds them locked. Wind begins to pick up and swirl about. And you see, masses of people. You can't make up the details, hiking up the mountain, holding tight before this detonation locks in place. And that's as much as you can make. That's a strong leg, if I've ever felt one. It was a massive eruption, cathartic even. Are you talking? Are you talking about the leg? In my pants. In my pants, yes.

I'm sorry, Ethel, your family is dead. What? You could tell that? You could tell that? It's true, I felt it in my heart. You're all alone here, so you better stick tight with this kid. Listen, rich little child. Very expensive little chihuahua boy. I've never experienced therapy before, but I just, I saw that so vividly.

And he swings his lie around and he says, Rich little child, don't you cry. You've helped me on the by the bye. And then it'll kiss on the forehead and he gives you a little D12 just for your future. It puts up, all Bartik inspiration. Yeah. Yeah.

It was beautiful. It was good. New favorite person. favorite person. He just made up a song on the spot and inspired someone. That was I've never seen anything like. It was so good.

Whoever can do that is a genius. Okay. Okay. Come on. Okay. All right. Don't encourage him. Stop. Yes. It's clear. We have to get to that mountain.

Our answers lie above. I mean, it is like a giant mountain villain speech. Like, look at that thing. As you glance up towards the massive shadow apex that itself is lost in the thick cloud above, you feel the temperature drop around you.

You hear the shaking of thousands of trees at once in the distance get louder and louder, like some sort of shockwave is coming close. And suddenly the light of the light of, of the mid-afternoon, shrouded in fog as it is, grows dim before this wave of darkness emerges and washes over you. You all feel like some unseen dark force

just pushes through your very spirit in a flash communally. You all lose four hit dice. Whoa. What? Whoa. What? I don't know how to mark that down.

Well... Fuck this place. You have... To remind you how to play Dungeons and Dragons. You have a number of hit dice equal to your character level, divided amongst your classes. Sure. So if you're level 20, like some of you are, you're now down to 16 hit dice. Okay.

But you only use hit dice to heal during rest, right? That's fine. Yeah, we're not going to rest. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Speaking of, I was a little bit hurt back there. Jesse, do you mind giving me a little bit of a... How'll hurt? I mean, probably not enough to warrant using any...

It's fine. I'm fine. I'll just suck it up. I feel guilty for asking now. I'm bleeding from my ears. But it's okay. a healing word or something, hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. No, no, no, no, no, let me look. Look, I haven't fully chosen my spells yet.

Are any of them healing spells? No, Matt didn't hear that. Matt didn't hear that. You've chosen everything. You're good. I'm sorry to spring this live show on you, Laura. Love you. I can take a healing spell.

You're so generous. Yeah. Give me a second. Okay, okay. In the meantime, Ethel, Ethel, are you, when you trek up the mountain or the remains of the mountain, is anything familiar to you?

Do you know why you want to go up there? Is it just a sense? Look, really, it's just everything else on this island wants to kill me. When I go up there, it feels like something doesn't want me up there. And then when you return to the lowlands, to the beach, are you brought there or do you just sort of sleepwalk back? I just kind of sleep. It's kind of like, it's like sleepwalking, yeah. It's not a great time, guys. Also, I just got reminded my family's dead, so that's kind of a bummer.

Well, maybe not, maybe they're just frozen as statues. Yeah, and plus, if you go back up, when you come back down, you'll forget again. So, okay. Well, that's true. And I guess in a way, I've got a new family now, right guys? Oh, oh, I don't know. Touchy, touchy, shoulder, shoulder. We're still trying to negotiate a new marriage between two preexisting groups.

Let's take it a step at a time. You're welcome to join us. Yeah, we're pretty sure one of these groups is going to die and then you can stay with the other one, so we'll just get friendly. You have like a D100 to roll, by the way? Yes, oh shit. Okay, you're welcome. Die, die.

Die. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. Fuck! Oh. I love you. All right, you don't have to heal me. No, it's fine. I'll be okay.

I already had cure wounds, apparently. Accidentally? I just didn't. Look, look. You know, Venn. I'm going to heal you. Even if you didn't tell me you were a mother, I know at this point.

You know that, right. You're fine. You don't need anything. Oh, because I take the weight of the world on my shoulders to just provide life and happiness to others. There we go. Yes. Yeah.

That's true. Me, like all other mothers, are saints. us the way. Okay, and I point at the top of the mountain when I start walking. This seems like a solid plan. Well, hang on a second. We're looking for our friends. Do we think our friends are at the top of the mountain? Look, if your friends are anywhere, they're not literally, I've checked everywhere here. All right. Sure, let's go to the top of the mountain. DM, can I use Hunter's Bain to sense for any Faye Fiends or Undead in this general area as we're moving?

Sure. Go ahead and make perception and check with advantage for me, please. Oh, advantage, he says. Wow. That was just balls and ass, two fours. You're keeping your eyes field and you're confident and you're keeping your friends safe. No problem.

As you cross beyond the boundaries of the Black Sand Beach and enter the jungle, the trees that surround you thick with overgrowth, the palms and leaves themselves a deep verdant green marbled with striations of black and gray.

The air itself has like an odd fume to it, this kind of like an accurate, almost oil-like smell to the air as you enter. The ground itself, it's soft with each footstep. And you glance around, even the nearby trunks of trees have an odd kind of jagged texture to them beyond any jungle you've passed in before. Who is leading this pathway into the jungle? Are you all following Ethel?

Maybe I'll just join Ethel and give a little as we're going. Thanks for sniffing me, big fella. It'll make sense later, I swear, but I have a great sense of smell. All right, so are you helping him, or is... I'll help Ethel. All right, Ethel, I'd like you to go ahead and roll a D20, with advantage because of its help and add your survival or wisdom. Very glad that it wasn't.

Okay. Yep, that's 18. 18. Not too bad. As you move through the thickened jungle, and you feel a connection to this land, a historical connection, something that is ancient and real, and you, even though you've been through this jungle a hundred times, it still feels fresh in some ways, but something in your mind guides you, like your feet know before your mind does, and you guide this troop from path to path. You see marked trees. You see branches that hang small bubbles and what looks like carving, small stones. on long bits of leather cord that are denoting landmarks throughout here, remnants of a culture that calls this place home.

And you follow these marks and leading them deeper and deeper in further towards this jungle. You do come across the first of these carved statues, a beautiful-looking monument itself, about 12 feet tall, not dissimilar to the shape of Ethel as far as physicality, humanoid,

but broad-shouldered itself, looking like it's carved to be some sort of warrior. Elements of a carved texture that denotes a shoulder fur and a bow and arrow in its hand. And you see it almost like it's a symbol of mythology that sits here either as a marker, a warning, or a bit of history to the people that call this island home. So it doesn't look like a terrified victim.

It looks like a carved relic. Looks like a carved relic. Does it have any... writing on it or ruins or? Make an investigation check for me if you don't. Okay. I'm gonna be doing prayer of healing while we're here.

Ritually? I don't have that. I'm gonna just pray. So it's not actually gonna help, it's just. No, it's helping. Oh, okay, okay. It's helping, I'm gonna do it at third level so you get 3D8 healing after 10 minutes.

after 10 minutes. 33. Yes. Geez, Louise. There are markings on it, not of language, but you see it's a series of symbols that with a 33 you can ascertain speaks of a heroic figure.

There are markers that speak of a figure that was beloved by the people of this island who saw an entire generation through the dangers and challenges of the wilds and tamed them and is a representation of survival and health and is a sign that you're taking the proper path. That's what you get from the shapes and symbols that adornate's base.

We're going the right way. Lordner will just sort of shimmy up. Can I use eyes of the roomkeeper to see if I can discern anything else? I just looked. Do you speak shapes in wingdings? Because I do. I speak comic sands.

Papyrus? Never! I really love font humor. That does feel like Yasha's speed. Caleb quit. Mid-Ritual casting of Copperhand language. It's like, well, fuck it then. As Caleb storms off into the nearby brush,

glancing at these same symbols that Veth had realized, you gather a name, Vashan. Vashan. You say this instinctually out loud, and it triggers a memory in your mind, Ethel. Vichan... My dad used to tell a story. Oh, my God, yes.

Vashan. This is incredible. I'll give a little kiss. to the traditional thing that we do. Oh, should we all need to do? If you want. Yeah, I'll go do that.

All right. As this memory washes over you, Ethel, you recall, like, the youthfulness of childhood and many other children of this island around, the stories being told generation to generation, memory might be yours, might be someone else's. It's a bit blurred in the space, but you feel that vacancy,

that hollow bit in your chest that you can't shake off, that sense that something's not right, something's not here, something is missing from you. And the rest of you watch as the smile fades from Ethel's face as he looks towards the statue and this kind of vacant, cold, almost fearful, lonely look washes across his expression. See those markings on the arm, those stripes coming down?

Yeah. He puts his arm up. It's been so long since I've seen someone with those, like me. That's terrible. Do you guys want to get a bunch of tattoos? I feel like I already said yes to that earlier, so yeah, sure. Jester does tattoos. Yeah, right there.

Hi, if you need one, I'm here for you. Sounds like a good bonding experience. Also, I can heal you if it hurts. The tats will be fine. Yeah. And anybody that is hurt, even though not hardly anybody else is, can take 26 points of healing. Oh! I'll take some.

All right. I'm fine. Guys, I feel like you've been sent here for me. Is that crazy? Yeah, we were sent here for someone else, really. You were not. Okay. I'll tell you what, Ethel.

I'll get the arm markings, just because I feel like now we're connected. if you get a couple letters and a crown on your shoulder. And we'll start a new franchise, bitches. Chetney, as you stare off into the distant jungle with that smile on your face, the jungle seems to pull away, like a focus itself is pushing into the darkened shadow. And the sound of the nearby critters in your eyes,

your ears shifts into the familiar, dark, creepy sounds of the fay. You hear a distant cackle and a reminder. that what you have as a master was gifted. And one day that debt will come for you. As the cackle fades, you return to your vision, and the rest of you see a faint bit of sweat upon Chetney's brow. Are you all right, Master Pocopoepe? Yeah, yeah.

Just a reminder of my own mortality, and my limits is an hardest. It's fine. It's fine. I think we should keep. moving. You've got a deal, Ethel, tattoos. Exchanged. Do you want me to do it right now, or do you want to keep moving? No, we got to keep moving. Okay, I can do it while we walk. Let's do it while we walk. That sounds like it's going to be really neat and

that sounds like a great idea. I get my stuff out. Hold on. I can't, I think, Caleb, I'm new to wizardry, but is it one of the uses of prestigitation to instantaneously create a mark that lasts for an hour? Yes, it's probably very painful, but yeah. Oh, it can be like a template. Or a temporary tattoo. And don't sell yourself short.

Hurt the man. Oh. All right, I can try to magic. Who am I tattooing? Wait, no. Oh, you're going to do it? You're going to do it? All right, all right.

You do it. I have my stuff out and everything. Everything. Okay, great. Then you go. You go. It's going to look really good. While we're walking. It's going to look great. I look around for archmages. Hold your arm. This is really good. You do this often?

Yeah, all the time. What am I doing exactly as I start putting like a smiley face on this? The letters R-T-A and a little crown above it. Oh, like yours? Yeah, like going. I cast haste on Jester. With that, just a good. Could you please roll a dexterity check with advantage?

Oh, advantage. Because of the haze. A check? Yes. Uh-huh. Yes. That is 13. So it hurts a little bit.

But she is rapid, confident. As she threw some odd contraption and her focus, you almost for a second see. like a spectral hand across hers, some green-like hand that's guiding her iconography across your arm. And as it completes, you look down to what looks like a G. It could be an R, could be a G.

It's a little wobbly. Those don't look anything alive. Nope. I have very different letters. I was in the middle of putting a tusk tooth, and then he said it was supposed to be an R, so I just shimmied it. It's like when you're writing a check and you underline, you're like, write the letter a few times in a row

because you fucked it up the first time, and now it's just a lost cards. It's beautiful. Do you like it? I love it. Good. Was this supposed to be like significant to your ancestry or something? Oh, shit.

Just call it to ruin. No one will know the difference. And now you're going to get your tattoo, right? Yeah, deal's a deal. Hit me, Veth. Oh, me. Yeah, make it hurt. What am I tattooing on this?

Lines. What? Just lines? Yeah, four long lines that run, it's the same as that is on this giant kind of like statue. Four long lines that run down from the shoulder to the elbow. You'll just have to perfectly split my biceps and my triceps.

All right, I will take a drop of mercury and put it in my palm and smash it with bat guano and some spice and pepper and smash it around and cast prestiditation. Caleb's hand reaches in with a pearl at the last time, and as a spell mastery, I cast fortune's favor and a little bit of dunomancy shines out of Vett's head for this temporary tattoo. Great. So are you doing this temporary or are you doing the permanent tattoo, but using the Presiditation. I'll try permanent.

You're going to be dead soon anyway. So roll dexterity check with advantage, and you can re-roll one of those dice if you'd like. I never re-roll dice, Matthew. Dexterity check? Yes. So that's just plus my, okay, 23. 23.

A fantastic representation of these, these cultural natural lines upon Ethel's arm and this statue you see carved here in the midst of the jungle. Rapid and quite well made. Does it hurt? It's so fast you can't tell at first until suddenly... B... Ah! It looks good!

That's good. That's the same sound I made when I got mine at the age of three. Wait, your memories, they're coming back! They are coming back. That scream was exactly what I dated. It's odd. Yeah. Because you recall that, but at different ages and different entities.

It's like seeing other people that you grew up with around you and hearing that scream. You remember the culture. You remember the people, like generationally. There was, people have been here for a long time in this island and you among them. And you remember, you're not, that's where you're taking them. to the mountain, but you're not too far from it. And it's only a short distance beyond where you had stopped at the statue

before you begin to see the outskirts of a community. You see a village here in the midst of this jungle, an incredible, abandoned village of grand scale. Housing built for tall, broad folk. You see the use of stone carving, earth sculpting, and weaving the jungle itself. into the homesteads around here. A beautiful patchwork of community.

You can see equipment for tanners and hunters and fishmongers. You don't see any people in here, but a handful of other large statues and dozens of other small ones scattered throughout. You can see areas for other communal occupations. And it's just quiet. It's just silent. Does it look

abandoned or does it look like everything came out in a rush? Does it seem like things were just dropped where they were? Does it seem like it was an organized? Make a perception or an investigation check? Cool. Those go great for me. Can I assist him? Sure, if you'd like to. Oh, bless you.

Use that thingy. The thing you have. To see the memories. I already did it once. You're limited? It also only works on legs. Knees. And toes.

Oh, there's a not 20 in there, so that's cool. Yeah. 21 investigation. Looking around, it looks like there wasn't a rush, there wasn't a panic. There's no destruction to things around this village. Okay, a few things, the National 20. I love you. One, you look amongst the various statues that sit throughout this environment.

There's about 10 of them that match the size and scope of the one that you would encounter in the jungle. And here you can see there are other hunters and looks like armored figures that are stalwart and striking poses that speak to guardianship and honor. They are beings that seem to either. things that seem to either be cultural or mythological that represent facets of maybe what people looked up to for protection or for inspiration in this village and are placed towards central crossroads as a reminder of either those that came before who they want to be in the day ahead of them. Now, the other dozens of individuals are incredibly detailed, and they all look like

their surprise. You see some of them look to be just walking with children in their hand. You can see others that are gearing up, others that are gathering their family and rushing to one side of their homestead, some within homes themselves, others that look like they're rushing to the outskirts, but all of them are looking towards the mountain. You also see throughout the houses, everything that they were going about their day. As with this investigation, you realize that these are not carvings. These are the denizens of this island themselves locked in a fateful moment of realization and terror and concern. But the rest of their lives remain left where they were. Dust, heavy and gathered. Bits of scrolls and kind of denoted bits

of materials just abandoned as the people here were turned to the very stone that carves this island amongst the sea. Being as familiar with the Cerberus Assembly and Ludinus Dallath as Widogast and the group is, does this seem to Caleb like his M.O.? Oddly no. You know that archmajors are capable of many terrible things, but there's nothing here that speaks to you as like a call sign. His and the Cerberus Assembly's work in the past generally, how do I put it, clean up after themselves.

This feels like something a little more unexpected and seismic. Just to let you know when I grabbed his very powerful, knee. It seemed like there was something that erupted from the ground, which is where the mountain is now, and it shot everything into the air, and it froze in place. So I think whatever happened was something on a more cataclysmic scale than maybe the doings of one individual. Well, what if, like, he had his clone or something, like, buried deep within the mountain, and it was triggered to erupt when, like, Ludinus himself actually died or something? And all these other people had, like, built a community around it, but as soon as, you know, Ludinus

died, this, like, centuries-old thing, like, exploded out of the mountain, and that's what it was. Maybe. Sure. I'm just saying, I look up in the sky. Is he up there above the mountain? No, but what you can see breaking through the canopy of the dense jungle that sits above this village, you can see a heavy wind that is blowing. the mists and fog rapidly. There is almost like a mass speedy,

continuous wind above the trees that encircles this time-frozen mountain. You can see wisps of cloud and a bit of strange fume just moving by quickly. And while it's relatively still here in the jungle floor, the very tops of the trees themselves, you can see them shaking with just the baseline of that wind before it picks up on the mountain itself.

And when I spied on Ludinus in the past, he was sitting in a cloud, basically. Above the cloud. High above, yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to take any chances. I'm going to burn my ninth level spell slug right now. What? Okay.

Fireball? It's the only way to be sure. I finally end Chetney's suffering. A look of. Starry Nebula appears all around Caleb as I cast foresight and I begin to see this entire party echoes of them moving a few feet ahead of them and behind them so it is a bit like I am tripping balls and seeing just the immediate future for everyone present goes up and just goes like, ooh.

Does it look weird? Lautner, lautna, please. Yes. You're making me dizzy. I'll say, given that it's a ninth level spell and his foresight, is glancing about those brief glimpses of time before current time, you see scatterings of searching.

And while you had pointed out, noticed, like, there are bits of materials. There are, like, scrolls kept in some of these buildings. It looks like there was a very functional and learned culture here, as isolated as much of the shattered teeth is, that kept record. And your keen mind can't forget that information is always an important thing to a math. Books, books, Caleb, books. I'm worried that our old friend might be waiting up at the peak. But there's always time for literature. Just to double-check it.

Are there any, like, claw marks or tracks in the sand of things? Creatures that I would know have the ability to petrify the people, basilics, behears, anything like that, any large footprints around? Make a perception check for me, if you don't mind. Can I look around and see if there's any troves of... of material of scrolls, like not just scattered about, but centralized into one location? Sure. Make an investigation check for us. Sixteen. Sixteen. Glancing about, thankfully, you don't see anything present and threatening, nor do you see anything that seems

to fit the bill of what you're inquiring about. You see claw marks and footprints of all sorts of strange clawed creatures who may have moved through here in the past or recently. It is a very active jungle just from the distant sounds of clicking and screeches that echo through some far distance. Nothing close enough to where you immediately feel in danger, but enough to know this is a place where nature thrives in the shadow of this mountain. There's no chaos in their movement. They're all seem to be running in one direction from something else, like a wave overtook them rather than...

All the statues? Yeah, they're not... That doesn't seem like they're being picked off one at a time. It looks like they're all looking towards the mountain, and then it happened. Damn. Can I just take a look at the scrolls before you, as you resolve that, and see if I can discern, like, how old they might be, how long ago this was? Sure, go ahead and make, I'd say for that.

You also make an investigation check. All right. I rolled one, but. But, reliable talent, 25. That's the rogue shit. Definitely don't re-roll to see if you crit as a halfling. Don't do it. Nope.

All right. So you do gather up a number of these. It looks like some of them been pulled apart and kind of eaten by some of the nearby creatures. They've been around long enough to where some of the nature is crept in. You can see, like, vines have grown. own, elements of the island have begun to retake the landscape. While all this is happening, Ethel, a couple of names come into your mind. Utazo. This village was called Utazo, and it

thrived for many, many generations. You've been here. You know this place. You were here. Utazzo was home. The island was home, but this was the home to the culture here. And you glance of the island, of the island mountain, and the name that comes to your mind and the proximity here, in a home base, amongst people that their presence seems to almost clarify more of your grounding here. Karun Pamina, that's this mountain,

the heart and the home of this island. Say that again. Karun Pamina, what you didn't catch it the first time? Karoon Pamina. Patina. That's close enough. Right. This was a very important place.

But, guys, I'm kind of... I've just realized something. I'm looking at the frozen people. Why am I the only one that's not frozen like this? Yeah, I was just wondering that too. That was a very good question. Maybe you were, like, out swimming

when everything happened? I can't swim. Oh. Have you checked? Are you sure? Well, maybe... Have I checked if I can swim? Yeah. Maybe you just forgot.

Maybe you forgot you could. Yeah. Maybe you were pooping. It's not, I wasn't pooping. I mean, I could have been. I can, yeah, that's actually a fair point. I was about to say I can't poop, but I can poop. Maybe, maybe music protected you somehow.

Like a song? I don't know. You seemed pretty good at it and you carry that lute or liar. I've heard both. Yeah, yeah. It changes, I suppose. You think like, okay, and I pull it. And I pull it across and I play some sweet chords

into the ear of one of the closest statues. And I just hum, but nicer than that. Wow, that sounds nicer. As you play and as you hum, the music seems to find resonance in the air around you. You all watch as it's almost like the music causes the landscape to brighten with color, like the saturation of the surroundings,

landing land seems to come more vibrantly to life. As the song of the hum vibrates from your closed throat, the vocal cords seem to shift the air to a warmer coloration, a warmer temperature. There is a magic tier song that resonates with this land, with the surrounding village, with the natural greenery that encompasses this jungle. And it's a magnificent sight to Watch this connection. As this continues outward, you feel that loneliness, crawl through you once more as the music feels like it's one of a two-part harmony, a note that needs another to complete, and that hollow sensation hits you once more, and you see a flash in your mind of a shadow pulled away.

Something important to you, gone on the other side. My dad taught me that song. Oh, is that you were murmuring some lyrics about punching a dad and a dick. That was that your dad? That's, it was some kind of, he wrote about some else. You should have seen my father. He was incredible. Everyone liked his songs. And they even shared his songs a lot.

Often. I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to sing that again. Properly, that song about punching Dad's Image. You have to. It's too good to let it die. It's true. I don't even remember the words. I was always only able to hum it. Well, did you see the landscape change as soon as you were singing? You have to keep going.

Maybe if we help you, we can all remember the lyrics. By improvising a musical lyrics. Sort of like a bad rap. Oh, no. Do you recognize any of these statues? Do you know any of them? The ones that look like they're my friends or the other ones that are... Honestly, both?

But do I recognize any of the... As you begin to focus, the one that's nearest to you, You see an older, stout-looking giant kin who has a big satchel over his shoulder that itself is also stone. You see that square jaw with a slight confused head tilt. And you know this one. His name was Giorio. And he was a mentor and a guide to the youth of this part of the village. And you glance over at a matronly-looking figure that is protecting two children.

by nearby building. And you remember her. She's Flora. And her two children, Kieran and Lodon. And you start looking at these statues, and you remember you knew all of them. They're all family.

This whole village is family. That mist gets pushed from your mind for a second. And you feel a sense of connection with this village that breaks through your sense of loneliness and fugue, fog in your brain, and you don't realize the tears that begin to billow in your eye at this forgotten sense of belonging.

I don't think you can understand how hard it is to be a Goliath who plays music. Look at this guy. Look how strong this giant buff fighter, but everyone was really nice to me when I put down the sword and I picked up the loot or liar and I played some like you can't imagine how supportive these people were and now

they're just they're gone so wait you remember it now yes yes I remember it so how long ago did it happen? I don't remember well I only asked because like you know if you had to pick one

we never used this shit but I have a vial of cleansing flame what's that Which, if you throw it a creature within 30 feet, the target is briefly engulfed in white fire, taking 2D6 fire damage, but then the creature can then end any or all

of the following conditions afflicting it, blinded, charm, deafened, paralyzed, petrified, or poisoned. So maybe one of these people could come back if you want to. But just one. Wait, so. Choose the form of your destruction. Destroyer. Back it up just a moment, or are you saying that when they come back, they're on fire?

Look, it's not perfect, okay? Maybe not one of the kids. They might not have enough hit points. Wow. Only one way to find out. Are you sure you want to use that on me? I mean, we made it through a whole campaign and we never used that shit. It means a lot.

that you'd set one of my petrified family members on fire. Thank you. If I had to choose anyone, it would be Joyo. He's... I mean, yes. He actually made this loot. He made the loot. Is that a final answer? You've already popped to the top of that.

Oh, wow. Let's go. Yes, yes. Let's go. You watch as Chetney chucks this vial. It shatters across the stone form of... Chorio as it impacts bright, vibrant white flames. Reith the figure, like some sort of strange, mystical vision.

The fire itself moving with a lively shift. The shape that was once still, frozen begins to move. You watch this strong, older figure begin to lurch forward. Oh shit Oh shit! Kayla! What about? Do we have water?

Roll damage for that, please. Oh, no! 2D6. 2D6. I'll tell you this. He has 10 hit points. No. No.

Nine. I'll finish. I'll finish him all. The flames burn away, and there, sweet mentor Lee Joreo lays on the ground. What strange flame has nearly taken me? Back to the spirits of this land. Who are you? Why would you do this to me? Jorio, Jorio, it's me.

It's Ethel. I... Who? Oh, shit. Uh-oh. It's Ethel, it's me, it's Ethel. It's good fired, Jorio. Why are you acting so weird? Oh.

Just take a short rest. You'll feel so much better. Wow. It's dark. Wow. On fire and short rest? The skin, it leaves my hands. Why do you leave me in so much pain?

Oh, fine. I'll get cure wounds on you. All right, roll your cure wounds. level do you cast, though? He doesn't... He's only got 10 hit points. He also doesn't recognize Ethel at all? Oh, that's a 10. That's eight. That's great. The burns scars for sin. Wait, no plus five. That's still pretty good. Great. He's a fully healed. Yeah, that's wonderful. Quick, set him on fire again. It was a winner. Thank you.

Strange Blue Vision Lady. You're welcome. Hi. The traveler, be with him. What happened here? The village, he walks up to the woman and touches her face in the children. No, no, what?

Oh, now we're causing emotional damage. This is great. Just all the trauma. Don't worry. They'll come back eventually. We're going to find a way to do it. You know, if I'm here long enough, I could day by day help out a couple of people. But they'd have to stay for a really long time, and I'd have to choose that spell. Listen, we're sorry to bring you back amongst such dire circumstances, but we're trying to figure out what happened here. Do you remember anything before you were turned to stow? Yes, the coracle was telling us, the coracle, and he points back, and you watch his face drop as in the middle of the village, you see this beautiful garden, this like multi-tiered circular garden in the center, about maybe 300 feet from where you stand.

You recognize this as one of the kind of the social congregation grounds of the village of you. And there in the center, you see a robed Goliath figure standing, arm outstretched in the direction of the mountain, others around, and he's mid-word, but himself also locked in stone with the rest. And he goes, we had visitors, strangers from outside the island, a ship-born folk belonging to, they called themselves of the Wandermen. We were moving away from other host villages that we traded with and were low on supplies, and they brought much here for us,

but they were fleeing malignant forces beyond our understanding, and they asked for safety. They asked to stay here for a time. There was discussion of trust, but they kept away from the village, and they brought goods. They brought beautiful oars and gifts of tools that were enchanted beyond our ability. And there was a time where things worked well, if distant. They brought their ships within the mountain caves on the northern, northeastern side. But then the coracle began to have dreams, bad dreams, and he looks up of that, of the mountain shedding, of something dormant.

He said they would, and his eyes go wide as you feel that cold sensation washed through the village again. Oh no, oh no. As a dark wave of energy shoots through once more. I jump behind Ashton. Fair. You all lose six hit dice. What?

Listen, bro. The wave washes by and that sense of cold hits your body, and as it does, a communal vision shocks through your mind. imagery of something deep within the rock, something old and dead and angry and betrayed, a shred, a forbidden, an ancient elemental life, scattered, broken, alone, released,

and tearing through the mountain with a scream, a hellish, ancient, deep scream. As you all return to your vision now, Here, on your knees, the breath pulled from you. Ice gathered around your noses, and your eyes and your ears. That pluck of your life shunted from you, from that wave. This weird and necrotic burst from the center of this broken, frozen mountain. And you see, Giorio, midward, now return to stone.

Oh! So he had one hit die and lost it and his stone. If we keep losing, we are going to turn the stone. We got to hurry. We got to hurry. I think we are taking too much time here. We gotta get out of here. Daddy's got five left.

Yes. Oh, good. I got to get out of here. It's not good. Wait, wait. How do you know how many you have total? You look in your short rest thing. No, but like from a role play perspective, how do you... I look at my arm.

Oh, it's withering. Five. That makes sense. That makes sense. I'll buy that. Oh, my gosh, we have to hurry. All right. You, Ethel, you can't shake.

the experience of looking into the eyes of someone you knew, like all these people of the village, who look back at you with a look of recognition, but not you. They didn't know who you were. And as lonely as you felt previously, this hits a darker shadow in you, and that you know now something

You're only half of yourself here. We have to go up that mountain now. But what if you forget everything again? You guys could just push me or carry me or something. It's about this moment that you hear in the surrounding dark canopy of this jungle. How do you make that fucking sound? Ah, gnar.

The canopy shakes in places, leaves begin to tumble. shapes plummet from the trees above, strange furry bears with clawed hands and red. Wait, are you doing drop bears? You're not doing drop bears. It's a drop bear. What's a drop bear? It's a drop bear. It's a joke. Drop from the jungle canopy above.

Predatory drop bears! It's a lot bear! That's what! It's an Australian thing! And that's where we go to break. We'll see you all here after an admission. That's a wrap for part one of this podcast episode. Part two will land here this upcoming Tuesday at 5 a.m. Pacific,

and we'll pick up this story right where we left off. Until next time, and we'll be back in this. adventure before you know it.