Critical Role - Tails of Equestria One-Shot

Episode Date: June 14, 2019

GM Mark Hulmes guides Ashley Johnson, Markeia McCarty, Julie Nathanson, Liam O'Brien, and Roger Craig Smith through a ridiculously wholesome My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria adventure!

Hello Critters, Liam O'Brien here. You're listening to a special one-shot episode of My Little Pony Tales of Equestria on the Critical Role Podcast Network. On today's episode, Mark Humes GMs our brigade of ponies through a magical and rather wholesome adventure with special guests Markeia McCarty, Julie Nathanson, Roger Craig Smith, Ashley Johnson, and myself. Hello, everybody. Welcome. Now, without further ado, assemble the ponies. Hello, everybody. Welcome. Welcome to Tales of Equestria, a My Little Pony, French of His Magic RPG one-shot here on Critical Role. I am your games master or pony master, as a certain player dubbed me earlier today. Mark Humes, also known as Sherlock Humes. I GM a show called High Rollers, which is the UK D&D show.

You may also know me as Kalyana from Critical Role. And after a dumb Twitter joke, I was asked to come on and do this. So here we are. I am joined by some very lovely players today. We'll start with Julie Nathanson. I'm making sure I'm pronouncing this correctly. You did it. You've done it. Your work here is done.

Thank you. My arch nemesis and rival from getting into the U.S., Liam O'Brien. Liam O'Brien. Makia McCarty. Thank you very much for joining us as well. Did I get that right? Yes.

Yes, you nailed it. No worries. I'm nervous. Ashley Johnson, the ever lovable. The easiest name to say. And then Mr. Roger Craig Smith. Thank you, Mork. Yes.

Thank you very much. Yeah, that's right. Mork, okay, it's Mork, right? Mork Hummels. Mork Hummels? Yeah, that's correct. Thank you. And we are going to be playing a game of Tales of Equestria today,

a little one-shot adventure. And I believe we have a little title graphic to play through as well. Have fun. So, where else we play? We're going to introduce you guys to the rules as we play, because a lot of these guys are going to be playing as well for the first time. So we'll go over the rules as it happens, but shall we start with you guys introducing your pony characters? Just to clarify, the only person who has an ongoing My Little Pony campaign is you,

Roger, right? Absolutely, yeah. Every Sunday. How many years? I don't know. If you don't know, it's like, I mean, clearly, you haven't seen, like, so we've got a Kickstarter for an animated, we're at $2.50. Oh, wow! Only another year and a half to go. We're going to hit that $2.50. Oh, wow. Only another year and a half to go. We're going to hit that $7.50.

You wait and see. It's going to be amazing. You'll get it. Yeah. I hear that's how it works. Well, as our residential expert, clearly, Roger, why don't you kick us off? Oh, gosh.

No, I honestly think that's just inappropriate. We have ladies first. Okay. And of all the people who just emulate pony magic. I can't decide whether to argue against chivalry because of feminism, or just go with it to save his ass. You go with it.

We'll just save it at this table. You go for it. All right. So I am Countess Pi, and Pi is spelled P-I because it is for the mathematical constant pi. If you haven't figured it out yet, I am a unicorn. Very magical, rather kind, and I have some very special powers when it comes to counting things and all sorts of talents when it comes to circles and numbers and circles. Oh, did I tell you about numbers? There are a lot of numbers.

Very good. So that's Countess Pi, the unicorn. Mr. Liam. Hi, my name is Tomy Time. Are we? We're telling all this stuff now? Sure, yeah. Well, I like books and I'm really good at studying.

I've been through every self-help program known to ponies. I kind of get hyper-fixated on things a little bit, because I love studying so damn much. I don't know how this game works. Perfect. Sounds a little familiar to me. I'm an earth pony, and I have burned no parents.

Yay! Good job! You did your best. Not a win in life. That's from a self-help book I got. Lesson number one, leave them alive. Ow. Markeia, please bring us some sanity back.

I'm Trixie Gadgets. I'm a unicorn and I love inventing gadgets in particular. I mean, I do have to take a lot of things apart to be able to get the gadgets that I do, but I also kind of have a super pony complex where I kind of want to be a caped, crusading super pony. Oh, very good.

I just want to help save everybody. You know, and along the way, invent the best gadgets ever. I like it. The beginnings of Pony Batman begins. I like it. Ashley. My name is Peach's Silversong, and I think this is the voice that I'm going with. I am a pegasus. I'm very big. I play the flute. I play for Princess Celestia, Princess Luna. I play in their courts and I'm just high demand. I don't have the best direction

sense when I'm flying around or needing to do things, but it's fine. And I can't tell a lie. I have to be honest. I have to tell everybody how I'm feeling, what's going on. That's my thing. So that's, I'm Peaches. Peaches. Peaches. I'm Whirlypoo! I was going for a play on Whirlpool Galaxy, because my cutie mark is a little galaxy, and I thought poo sounded better than pool. And of course I regret that now. There is a connotation there that is...

Yeah. I like to spin really fast and throw things really far. I'm very easily distracted by anything bright in the sky. And I love laughter. Yeah, that sounds about right. I like a lot of laughter. Okay. This shit is so cute I'm going to vomit. Yeah, that sounds about right. I like a lot of laughter. Okay.

This shit is so cute, I'm going to vomit. That was the original pitch that we can get to being super-secret. I love that tagline. Shit's so cute, dude, are you going to vomit? You can have that one, MLP! I'm sure they'll love it with the cursing as well. It'll be a sticker in four seconds. So before we fully get started, there's one more thing I need to give you guys.

So because this is a game all about friendship and the magic of friendship in particular, you guys are all going to get a friendship token. So these are, you get a number of friendship tokens equal to the number of players and the Games Master because I'm your friend too, which I thought was quite sweet. So you guys, I'm going to give these out.

I will have whatever color is left, so you can pass those around. Take one each. We each take one? Yep, you each take one. And these are, you can spend these through a couple of things in the game. So you can spend one token of friendship to re-roll a dice. You can spend two tokens of friendship to re-roll a dice and you get an upgrade. You get to roll a

d20 instead of your normal dice if you spend two. What? And then even better, you actually get, if you spend three tokens of friendship, it's an automatic success. You just succeed at whatever you're trying to do. But you only get these back when you level up. So if we all

collectively use three tokens together, then we... Yes. So you have to decide to spend them as a group. So a group, after all. And the idea is you describe how you're working together, and that's how you get your reroll or your boost and things like that, right? Okay. Okay. Luckily, I have terrible short-term memory, so it's built into my character that I'd have

no idea what you just said. I'm sure it will come up and we can go over things for Countess Pie's benefit as we get through. And I think we can just kick things off and we'll cover the rest of the mechanics as we play, right? Yeah. Okay. Let's do it. So, it is another bright and cheery day in Equestria, and ponies everywhere go about their business as normal,

from the breezy heights of Cloudsdale to the bustling streets of Cantaloupe. Five ponies in particular are busy at work. So what are you guys all doing on a regular day? What would your ponies be doing on a day-to-day basis? You mean for a job? Yeah, sure. Like what you might be doing at home, or how would you be spending a day in Equestria? Well, I work at the library

and I read a different self-help book every day and I'm just about finished with How to Win Foles and Influence Ponies. Very good. I'm rereading that one. That's not the one that I'm on right now, but I like to brush up on whatever in the past because you can never have too many tips for life.

Very good. So that's what Tony's doing. What about the rest of you? Who knows what they might be up to? I wake up every day, and what I do is I drink my fairy dust tea, and I practice my flute. I go through my scales.

And, you know, get ready for my performances every night. Okay, fantastic. You're practicing the flute. I practice my flute every day. What about Trixie Gadgets? What does Trixie Gadgets do? Trixie more than likely has been up since dawn. There's a lot of noise coming from her workshop.

Big plume of smoke happens a lot. Yeah. And just a whole lot of, ah, gadgets and bits. Very good. I like it. Pony cursing is the best. Okay, so you're in your workshop. What about Whirlypoo? There's a lot of poonies whirling.

No, I'm very, like, I love stargazing at night. Okay. During the day, I've learned that doesn't go so well when you stare at the Okay. During the day, I've learned that doesn't go so well when you stare at the nearest star during the day. But I guess she's going, wow, this is a bad idea!

So I've taken to using my binoculars, which are always around my neck, to provide a function to everyone here. I go to the highest place, and I just observe and make sure there's no danger coming to Ponyland. Ponyland is what I affectionately call it. Yeah, absolutely. Ponyland. One of the places you mentioned in that thing

that I wasn't listening to. Y'all are peeping pony. Look, it's a job, all right? Somebody's got to do it. It's a very important service he provides. I do have to go door to door and let everyone know that I live in their neighborhood, because there was a miscommunication with somebody who saw me out there once.

I'd ought to do it, guys. There we go. Never coming back. I'm observing! It was observing! You need to close your blinds at night, too. You might want to get that mole looked at as well. Yeah, so Countess Pie, what does Countess Pie do? Well, I have this very, very special talent where I am able to assess the quantity of anything and everything at all times. So I go from place to place. So let's see, for example, if someone might be making cupcakes,

I can tell the baker, well, you've made 3,475 cupcakes, and I move right on. So anything that needs to be counted, I do it lickety-split. Providing a service of counting to anybody, any pony in need. That's true. I just flit about.

OK. Everybody needs me. Not allowed in casinos, though. Yeah, those pony casinos, those Appaloosian casinos really don't like it when you come by. Well, that's what happens when I close my blinds. What? Well, as each of you go about your day, suspect or otherwise, you are startled by a sudden flash of purple magic as a delicate scroll appears out of thin air

and drops in front of your hooves, and it bears a royal seal. Unraveling the letter, which I sadly didn't have time to bring a physical copy of from home. What a ship. I know, I've let you down. But unfurling the scroll,

it reads in very elegant handwriting, My dear student, I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. I'm so sorry to disturb you, however, there is a delicate and urgent task at the royal castle of Canterlot, and my friends and I are unable to leave the Crystal Empire due to other business. You've shown me to be a capable and dependable pony, and I would be very grateful if you could assist the royal guard with the matter.

You'll be joined by several other students of mine, and I hope that working together on this task will give you all a chance to become good friends and teach each other a thing or two. When you arrive at the castle, speak with Captain Harvest Thunder and show them this letter. They'll be expecting you. Good luck. I have

the utmost faith in you. Princess Twilight Sparkle." Oh man, oh man, oh man. I was wondering where your accent went. It was like, I'm surrounded by voice actors, all right? Leave me alone, okay? I'm doing my best here. That's not what all Americans sound like, dude. I can't pull off Tara Strong, sadly. But yeah, you receive this letter, and it bears the royal seal.

And Canterlot is not too far from any of your locations to travel there. And do we all receive it together? You're all separate at this point, I think. Maybe some of you know each other, maybe some of you have met before, but on your general day-to-day business, you each receive an individual letter.

And you are expected at the castle of canterlot oh boy well i reread mine five or six times so i can commit it to memory and then i head off because this is a good chance to uh uh put how to stop worrying and start galloping to use you don't have a talent which is uh photographic memory or anything uh i'm an excellent study okay Okay, okay, so yeah, we'll keep that in. All right, fantastic. What about everyone else? Everyone else heads off as you are required? I make sure to finish all of my scales. Okay, good.

I put it in my little pouch that I wear, my flute, and off I go to the castle of Cantaloupe. Okay. I take a time out to do a hoof pump, because today's the day. I knew it would finally happen, and a whirl of hooves and a cloud of smoke putting together a bunch of gadgets

in my little utility belt, and then off. Off you go. Yeah, I go! Thanks, Rogan. I don't go! I reach a letter, I do what I'm told. I make sure that I have a real sense of how long the journey's going to be. So I've already calculated it's going to be 4,297 steps to the castle, and so I decide I'm going to two-hoof it,

and I'm going to make it a long stride so I can do that in half, which is approximately 2,242. I did not remember the number I said. Have you ever seen Rain Man? Rain Pony. I feel like, yeah, sorry, Rain Pony. You've got to get the language down, Roger. Yeah, sure. It's very important.

Yeah, so, okay, okay well everybody makes their way uh and it doesn't take long to reach the bustling city of cancelot this big capital of equestria uh there are white stone buildings with gilded arches beautifully embroidered awnings um twisted spires with flying pennants there are various happy ponies going about their business many unicorns fashionable boutiques. There's jewelry stores, fine bakeries. This is a land of culture and etiquette, and some of you may stand out a little bit more than others. But you are greeted warmly.

You make your way up to the top of the city, kind of very Minas Tirith style, built into the mountains, making your way up a winding path, and sit on a ledge that overlooks the land. You see the glorious castle, the Royal Palace of Canterlot, with its large gates and a drawbridge over a waterfall moat. And you can see that there are two Pegasus guards in full guard barding, so they're wearing armor, and they are standing in front of the gates watching you as you begin to approach. And you see each other for the first time as well. Some of you, again, may know each other. That's up to you. But if not, then you just see a bunch of other ponies

making their way alongside. Guard burning is such a cool term. Should we all meet up at the same time? Yeah, sure. You all basically arrive at the same time, because that's convenient. Yes? How's your, I like to call it,

reconnaissance been going? It's been going pretty good. I saw these guys way before anybody else. They're also shiny, I don't know if you noticed. They caught my eye. That bright star up there was shining off of them. Did you guys all get the same letter by any chance? Oh my gosh, I got a letter.

You got a letter, too? I received one as well. Yeah, purple scroll. Yeah. Came out of nowhere. This Captain Harvest Thunder, do you think that's his birth name, or? It is.

Okay. It is, I believe. Have I ever met him before? Yeah. You have, and you know it's actually a lady pony. It's a female pony. She is. I'm a chauvinist!

I am a misogynistic, horrible pony. Yeah, you've seen Captain Harvest Thunder before. She's a very powerfully built earth pony from southern Equestria. She wears full armored barding and is known to be very fierce. And she has a reputation that you definitely don't want to cross her.

Wow. Yeah, she's very, very fierce. Just be very nice, don't try any fast movement around her, because she'll put a stop to that. You think she likes music? She loves music. Just saying. Yeah, she does. I noticed the flute. Yeah. does. I noticed the flute.

Yeah, yeah. Notice the flute. It's what I do. It's a really, I'm really good at it. You're a delicate peach. Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to make a position for myself. Like, they don't have a court gadgeteer. Ooh. You could talk to them

about that. I think they would be responsive. Perhaps you should wait until after we give the letter. I wouldn't want it to cause any ruffled manes or anything. Oh, dear. Every way to prove myself. I'm a little nervous. We stick to letters and numbers, the two of us.

Are we summoned here for the rough stuff, do you think? We should go find out. I'm going behind you. Oh, okay. So Peaches, you're going to lead the group up to these two guards? I think that's not a good idea. Okay, so as you begin making your way.

I've been here many times, I'm here most nights. So as you get about halfway across the drawbridge, you can see these two Pegasus stand to attention, their wings pop out, and you can see these two Pegasus kind of stand to attention. Their wings kind of pop out. And you can see one of them is kind of snow white with a yellow mane, a female pony, kind of a bit more slender. The other one is like a dark, rusty kind of color

with a gray mane. They both appear to kind of snap to attention. And the white pony, she kind of calls out like, who are you guys? what are you doing here? It's okay, don't be alarmed, we got a letter, and we need to come in. The other pony looks over, and you can see he has a hoof near

a particularly large lever that connects to a chain that connects to the drawbridge. And he looks over like, eh, what are you saying about some sort of letter, huh? We are here because we were requested by Princess Sparkle and Harvest Thunder to come do some stuff. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, of course.

Princess Twilight Sparkle conjures up a bunch of ponies for no business. All right, sure. You can look at it yourself. We have five ponies of the same thing. I have one as well. Yeah, and he kind of like steps a couple of paces forward like, how do I know this ain't some sort of forgery here?

It's definitely not. These are real. It really isn't. If it helps you to know, this one can't lie. I can't tell a lie, all, so I've seen you here so many times before. You know I come here, I play for you guys. Oh, I recognize you, you're the float player, right?

Yes, that's me, I'm the flautist. He kind of brings up a hoof to scratch his chin. Why don't you, as peaches, give me a charm check? So we'll use this as a great way to kind of go over the rules of making checks. Okay, okay, okay. You're just trying to convince him that you're trustworthy. So you're gonna roll charm, which is a set dice

on your card sheet. What number did you get? I rolled a four. A four, okay. He looks you over and he nods his head. He's like, all right, yeah, peaches, right? Peaches, silver something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, listen, all right. Maybe you can come in. We know you. And the girl kind of looks over. But like the rest of you, how do we know you're not like changelings or something? They've been spotted around the castle before. You could be shapeshifters. Pictures, you're okay, though. I like your music, by the way.

Thank you so much. That's okay. Wait, what was your name again? Oh, my name's Snow Singer. Snow Singer, that's right. I also do a little bit of music on the side. I've heard you singing just a little bit in the bathroom. And I think you're great.

I think you should pursue it. Get a room. I'm being kind of like, thanks. Yeah, this one's right. Get a room, you two. Come on. All right, but yeah, how do we know you're not changing or nothing? Oh, man, this is a nightmare.

We finally get our chance to go to the biggly's and we can't even get in. I don't even know what a changeling is, Wiss. It's like a baby pony's smell. You got a changeling? No, it's like a bug. Your brain is getting a little mixed up. First of all, See if you can calm yourself. Don't you remember I caught you in the library one day? You were reading why, what is it? It's the Celestang Prophecy. That's what it was. See if you can do some mindfulness breathing. Well, you know, these days I'm on to quadratology.

I'm really working on going steer, so if I just breathe for a moment and and focus on my uh uh okay i'm gonna go equine i'm going equine as you uh to try and calm yourself liam why don't you give me a mind check but as you are using your uh particular talent of study and yes my study of quadratology yeah okay you can add your talent dice and whichever one rolls the highest that's a six and a six there's a six and a six. There's a one and a four. Okay, yeah, four's enough.

So you kind of manage to center yourself. You kind of feel yourself calming. And the male pony looks over. He's like, well, you couldn't possibly be a changing. A changing wouldn't have no sort of panic attack like that, I guess. All right. And also some sort of weird books you've been reading. I don't think changelings can even read. Guys, I think he's illiterate.

What? Nothing. I got loads of litter, I do littering all the time. Oh, I don't think that's what he means. Can I? He said you were illiterate. Illiterate, what is that, what is illiterate? It's kind of like a poem, but with literature.

Oh, I'm real, yeah, I'm good at poems. Good, good. Oh, okay. Could we hear one? You want to hear one right now? Yeah, we'd love to hear one. All right, okay, let's see here. My name's Gale. I like to sail.

It's a great Dale in the Vale. That was good! That was really good! All those words were in there. You're amazing! Gee, thanks, thanks guys, thanks. You just made my day. You know what, you guys are all right, you can come.

All right! I'll take you, where you guys going? Where you want to go in the castle? You want a tour or? Well, we gotta go to Harvest Thunder. Captain Harvest Thunder, please. Oh, you want to see the captain? Yeah, because we have to assist the royal guard

according to this letter, so, you know. Oh, right, okay, yeah, we need help really bad. We got no ponies around here, so any help you can provide, that's great, that's a good job. Yeah, well, we're ponified. All right, well, all right, you guys follow me then, and I'll take you to see the captain, but you gotta be on your best behavior, right?

You gotta, whoosh, you don't wanna mess with the office thunder. Any suggestions? Things that irritate her? Yeah, loud noises. All right, no loud noises. Incompetence. Yeah. Incompetence.

She doesn't like that one. She doesn't like that at all, okay. No, she don't like that. Not a camping fan. Oh, don't, you know, she likes brave ponies. People that really get to the action. We're the greatest ponies ever. Well, you're gonna be great.

You're gonna do great, kid. All right, we'll take you in to see. And with that, he turns and the doors swing open, and you guys make your way through the vaulted, beautiful palace hallways of the castle here in Canterlot. Wow. It's beautiful. It's so pretty.

It is, still. Well, you're used to it. Peaches is used to it. You've been here so many times before. I'm here all the time. All the time. Try not to get cheated. You know, you're showing around your friends,

you know, it's like, you've been here quite a lot of times, but they're excited to be here, so you don't want to kind of like, you know, play're showing around your friends. You know, it's like you've been here quite a lot of times, but they're excited to be here, so you don't want to kind of like, you know, play it up a little. And you are taken, eventually they lead you around the castle, and you're taken into the guest wing in the northern side of the castle. And at the base of an elegant grand staircase kind of leading up, spiraling up into the upper sections, you see this powerful female earth pony

who begins descending down, and every time her hoofs hit the stairs, there's this little kind of like a rumble of thunder, as it's like. There she is! Long mane braided into a plait that comes down her side, and then just covered in barding, covered in armor all the way down.

Oh, majestic. Little freckles over her face, and she kind of looks around you with this imperious kind of gaze. How's it going? Well, howdy there, friends. You must be the folks that Princess Twilight sent to meet, right? Yes.

Yes. Well, boy, howdy. It's so great to meet, right? Yes. Well, boy, howdy. It's so great to meet you. And she comes up and shakes your hoof, and shakes your hoof, and shakes your hoof, and shakes your hoof, and shakes your hoof. Well, it's Maul. Am I glad to see you.

We're so understaffed around here, and we sure do need some help. I'm just pleased to be as pleased as punch. What do you need help with? We have to get help in any way, shape, or form. You are awfully big. You have 112 stairs. She looks around like,

well, I guess we do now, sure. She's like Rainmare. Rainmare. Well done. I think I've seen that movie. It's so good, but I realize she counts. She looks down at Tomy-Tine like, I sure am.

Well, Rainmare and friends. But that's not her name, though. Oh, sorry, sorry. No, I'm sorry. What are your names? Pleased to meet you, I'm Countess Pie. Countess Pie, nice to meet you. What about you? I'm Tomy Time, but you can call me Tomy.

All right, Tomy, lovely, pleasure, pleasure. What about you? I'm Trixie Gadgets. I put in an application to be the court gadgeteer, just saying that real quick, since I'm standing right here in front of you. Oh, you know what? We get it, we get a lot of applications for positions here at the

palace, and it's just been so busy with Princess Twilight traveling around. You know, they're stacking up in my office. I mean, maybe by the time you get back, I might have had time to get through it. If you can help us with this, I'll try and speed you right to the front. Great idea. That sounds great. Yeah. For sure.

Now, obviously, Peach is, I know you. Oh, Harvey, you know me. Oh, it's great to see you, pal. You're the best. I know, I'm very, very good to see you as always. You know, I keep hearing rumors that all these other guard ponies are kind of scared of me. That ain't true though, right? I think they're all scared of you very much.

What? Yeah. But I, really? Yeah, I think they just are scared of you very much. What? Yeah. But I, really? Yeah, I think they just are terrified of you, which I think is so strange, because I know you so well now, and you're very scary, I mean, in shape. Why don't they put it on the feedback management forms

I send out? I think they're too scared. That would make sense, all right. Not everybody can handle a big pony like you. Did y'all just say pig pony? Big, big, I heard big, I heard big! I heard big! She's so muscular.

Nearly heard big. Big or, anyway, what was your name, little fella? Well, one of your not-afraid guards mentioned you are not a fan of incontinence. So let's just go with my name's Whirly, and just Whirly. All right, I mean, I'm not a fan of incontinence, so I guess that is true, but nice to meet you, Whirly. So that's my name, is just Whirly.

Sure. Nothing after it. Well, why don't I take you upstairs to, we can talk a little bit on the way about what I need your help with. There's a little bit of a mission, a secret kind of quest, if you wanna call it that. But I wanna see how y'all handle a little situation first.

If you don't mind, think of it as a sort of test before we put you into the big leagues. You know? Give us a test. Lay it on us. Yep, all right. We will take on any mission. All right. How many questions are there?

How many questions? How many questions are there? Oh, this isn't that kind of test, sweetie. This is more of those kind of, what do you call them, teamwork problem solving kind of phase. You ever done any of those escape rooms? Well, yes, there was an escape stable that we were all playing in one day.

Good, you might have some kind of play on that. Just imagine that with, well, you'll see. And she leads you up the stairs and down a long corridor filled with beautiful tapestries and stained glass windows beaming with sunshine. And as you reach the end, you can see that outside of a doorway leading into a room, there are perhaps three or four royal guards, uh, earth ponies, Pegasus and unicorns. And one of them is just hunched up

on the floor, just trembling, just trembling and muttering something to himself. Another one is lying unconscious. Uh, and the other one is desperately kind of putting, like, wet flannels on his forehead. And as you draw closer and closer, the doors burst open, and a terrified-looking Pegasus comes running out. She slams the doors behind her just as a loud roar, this kind of echoes through the doorway. The guard slams the doors shut, presses herself against them and just is like,

it's no good. It's over. There's no way we can deal with that thing. She just starts weeping. What's in there? Is this the test? Yep. So, uh, why don't y'all just head in there

and see if you can handle what my guards don't seem to be able to. Are you going to wait out here for us? Sure, if things get too hairy, I'll step in, don't you worry. By too hairy, what do you mean? Very good question. Thank you. Sure is.

You'll see, Worley. Is this dangerous? Is it fuzzy? It's yep and yep. Okay. But you know, you guys, Princess Twilight Sparkle said you're dependable sorts, I think you'll be fine. Before we go in, I want to give the crying, it was a pegasus or?

Yeah, she's just like pressed up like. I have a magical cupcake dispenser and I'd love to go ahead and just take off two of those and different flavors and give that to her. Sure, why don't you make a mind test and roll your gadgets. Let's see if there's any malfunctions with your gadgets. A three and a two. A three is okay.

So you always take the highest. So you kind of watch as Trixie pulls out, what does it look like, this dispenser? I pull it out of my utility belt somehow. Somehow, yeah, of course. Somehow, because magic. And it's this giant, it's a cupcake funnel. So you just pour things in the top

and a cupcake comes out. And I just pour things into the top. And then at the bottom it comes out a perfectly made cupcake. Okay, yeah. And you go over and you offer it gently to this pegasus. She looks over with mascara. This is after having a bad day.

The worst day ever. Vamon just starts shoving the cupcake into her mouth. Like, there's a bear in there. Glad to make you feel better. A bear? Now it's an a bearable day. Oh! That's pretty good. Harvest Thunder just steps up to the door

and opens it with one hoof and gestures inside. You hear another like. Smash. Is it dark inside? No, it's light. It's light. We see the problem already. You can hear it, but it's not in the visible sign of peering through this doorway.

There used to be a large guest room behind. Okay, this is how we need to prove ourselves, right? Yep. May I suggest something? Yeah, please. You mentioned bright sunlight earlier? There was like... Yeah, yeah, there's windows,

and it's the middle of the day. What if, to distract this bear, or at least give us some time, I take my handy binoculars, turn them around, angle the sunlight through them, and shine it in the room, blind the bear. Just temporarily, not permanently. Temporarily blind the bear to buy us some time to find out

if it's a mean bear or if it's just misunderstood. So it's a bear test while we're being tested with the bear? Yeah. All right. You're adorable. I don't know, I mean, is this how? You can try saying it. Is this how we do this? I was like, no,, is this how we do this? I'm like, hey, everybody!

Don't listen to this for a second! Mr. Pony Master, please! I think it sounds good, lead the way, we're really close! Okay, so I'm going to step into the room. Okay. Hey, Mr. Bear! So you, go on. Can I help, since this is awesome, I'm also figuring some things out.

As a pegasus, I can control weather. Yes. So is it possible to maybe move some clouds around to make sure it's sunny as hell? Yeah, you can fly outside. You can go find an open window, fly outside, and then push some clouds around for sure. Yeah, I'll do that.

I'll help. Well, let's roll Peach's stuff first, and then I'll describe what Whirly sees, Whirly Poo sees. So one you give me, it will be a body and then flying, because you've got a talent of flying as a Pegasus. So you roll both dice. Flying is also a talent for me. Okay. That's a D6 for flying. Okay. A D8 for flying? A D6. A Dice. Flying is also a talent for me. Okay.

That's a D6 for flying. Okay. A D8 for flying? A D6. A D6. A D6. Two D6s. Okay, a three and a one, so we'll take the three.

Three and a one. So you fly outside and it's a bright sunny day. There's a couple of clouds in the air, but you're not one of the weather team Pegasus, so you're not really experienced with moving the clouds as well. And you're moving it, but not as much as you would have hoped to do. You're bucking the clouds, and they puff into other smaller clouds rather than completely disappearing.

I try to move them with my flute. You blow through the flute at them. Might I be able to help? Sure. I do have the power of telekinesis. Sure. Well, then what do I do now? Well, you tell me.

Thank you for finally asking! So it's basically, how are you gonna use your telekinesis? I would like to assist in the moving of the clouds. Okay, yeah, so you would make a mind and telekinesis. So you'd roll mind and then your telekinesis dice. Mind is a, well, it's a two. Okay. Oh, it's a two. And then your telekinesis is you roll mind and then your telekinesis dice. Mind is it really it's a two okay? Oh, it's a two and then your telekinesis is also a d6 so you can roll that as well Well, that's a one okay

So we see countless pie go up to the window the open window that peaches flew out and She kind of closes her eyes and the tip of a horn begins to glow and sparkle what could go wrong How could something go wrong with trying to control control the clouds of your telekinesis? Apparently, some of the power that comes from the tip of my horn up here, instead of moving the clouds, it actually summons some snow accidentally because of the cumulonimbus. I'll explain later. Perfect. And perhaps it begins to dust us with some extra snow

and I become very shivery. So you watch as this little spark of magic kind of pops off of her unicorn's horn and the cloud that Peaches is trying to like push away kind of begins to turn black and the snow begins to drift down. And it kind of drifts in front of the window, kind of obscuring some of the light coming through.

Who did that? So I'm hosed! So you step in and it's bright light for a moment. It's hosed! And you watch as you kind of step into the room and you see the sight that you see before you before you say anything, Roger. No, I'm listening. You see this large room

that was... That's how this game is played this is how it works this is how it works uh it probably was would have been a once really beautiful guest room but the the drapes have been shredded and torn there is dozens of broken plates and half-eaten cakes and sweets which have all been smeared around um the bed the large four-poster bed has been all the sheets have been ripped a pillow has been exploded all over the place and standing next to a large kind of pedestal with a vase is a very large very overweight grumpy looking bear and it's holding a paw next to the vase it kind of turns to see, and it just knocks it off

and smashes it. Is that like a cat? Yeah, it's just like, and smashes it right in front of you and then sees you. What would you like to do? Don't you do it. Trixie, Trixie is still near me? You stepped into the room.

Trixie is currently outside in the corridor, I think. So, and Peaches is outside and Countess Pony is by the way. Here's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, I love this, this is it. Mr. P Peaches is outside. Here's what I'm going to do. Countess Pie is by the window. Here's what I'm going to do. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I love this. This is it. Mr. Ponymaster! If that is your real name. It's not, but sure. Trixie! I need you to make one of those magical cupcakes stat! I can do that.

She starts making a cupcake. I begin spinning. Okay. Which is one of my talents. I'm spinning super fast. And you see as the bear starts barreling towards you. Okay, I'm spinning faster. She gets the cupcake. I get possession of it as I'm spinning.

I'm gonna hurl this cupcake at the overweight, possibly diabetic, angry bear. I'm gonna go right for his pie hole. So you're going to try and get it in the mouth. I'm going to give him this magical cupcake by hurling it, because my name is just Whirly. Okay, just Whirly. Yeah.

That's short. So that would be, I think we're going to make that a body. Body. With your special talent of spinning. With my, so what does that mean? So that's your D6. D6 as well. So these two. So you roll both, and you choose the highest.

No whammies. I got a six and a three. Six and a three. Six pretty good. A six pretty thing. Did I score the highest on one of these die? Not yet, because the D8 was a six, right? Or was the D6 a six?

No, the six. The six was a six. Okay, so this is a time to explain the exploding hoof rule, which is when you roll... Just early. I was warned about your farts at the beginning of this game. So when you roll... Cupcake.

So when you roll the highest number on a dice, you roll the next dice up, and you keep doing that as long as you keep rolling the highest. So you would now roll another d8. Another d8. Yep. And see what you get. Yep. See what you get on this one

i got a five a five so the six is still the highest so you don't you don't roll any more dice and you still keep the six as the highest dice okay so it's a way that you can potentially get higher and higher results if you keep getting really lucky okay it's a way that you can like get a an impossible result cool but you still you spin around uh trixie throws you the cupcake kind of like pumps it out throws it to to you, and then you grab it, and it hunk right into the bear's mouth, and he pauses, he skids to a hole right in front of you. And as he swallows, and as it hits his stomach,

you hear this, and he kind of clutches his stomach for a moment, and just barf, just comes hurtling out of his mouth, completely covering you in barf. Lovely! I feel very concerned for the bear, as one of my special qualities is kindness. And before we begin to attack the bear, no offense, with any more gadgets, cupcake or otherwise, or flutes,

I do believe that it would be good to see if the bear's injured. Perhaps sometimes something might be angry, so angry that it would just trash the hotel room and smash all the guitars. Yeah, absolutely. And may I just say, as one of your friends who's sitting there covered in barf,

I appreciate your concern for the bear in this moment. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's really nice. How did you get that stuff all over you? The bear barfed on me. Just cold. Just dripping with bear barf. That's fine. So I'm making my way back inside. So you start flying back inside.

So, Countess Pye, why don't you make a mind test for me? This is just going to be using your mind stacks. I don't think your talent's going to apply here. Five, wait, nope, wrong to apply here. Five. Wait. Nope. Wrong glasses. Six. Six.

That's the top one. That's the top one. So now roll a D8. So that's the next dice slide up. That's over here. Yep. See what you get on that one and if it's higher. No, that's seven.

Seven. Okay, so the seven's still the high number, so you keep the seven. Okay. And yeah, looking at this bear, and actually kind of looking at all the sweets and the cakes, he has eaten way too much sugar, and he has a terrible diet. He's probably got a terrible stomachache. Poor baby. That's made him very, very grumpy and very, very angry,

and he's just tearing the place apart. So, and you, yeah, you are 100% sure that that stomachache is the cause for this bear's discomfort. Poor baby. Tomi, Trixie, what would you guys like to do at this point? Well, maybe we should go in. It sounds like it's quieted down a little bit. Yeah, and I think that maybe all the barf

is already out of the bear, so no worries there. Yeah, I can second that. I can confirm all the barf is out of the bear. Creeping into the room and taking in the sight, Satyr, what's the bear's demeanor at this point? So he's just finished throwing up, and he lands on all fours, and he's like, and he's looking grumpy and miserable

and just looking around. Oh, hey, guy. Do you speak pony? He nods his head. It seems like you're having kind of a bad day. And he points at his stomach with a clawed hand. Yeah. Points at Whirly.

And like shoves him like. I deserve that. You know, I know that. Look, I've been there suffering from extreme anxiety and or rage. You look like you need some guidance. I pull out a little box with some wires on it. I really want to give you a pee reading. Is that okay? I start to try to attach the diodes of the pee meter onto the bear's wrist. Oh no!

Okay, I think this is going to have to be a charm to see if the bear's going to let you do this. It's Elrond Clyde, right? Elrond Clyde! Can I hide behind this jib? I rolled a one. So you take these little stick-on clippers or whatever it is. Right, right, a little stick. And then you go to grab it, and you get the nipples of this bear as you kind of wait. There's this pause of a moment.

Picks you up and goes to throw you. Definitely close the blinds now. So I need you to roll a body check for me to see if you can get out of this bear's grasp before he throws you across the room. Oh. One. So he picks you up over his head,

throws you, you sail through the open door into the corridor, land and skid down it along on your backside still holding the bee reader. It's okay! You weren't ready! And that's gonna be seven stamina you're going to lose. No, Tommy!

How many stamina do I have in the first place? So you're an earth pony, right? Yeah. Twelve, yes. So I'm down in five, it's okay. And stamina kind of represents, obviously you're not necessarily injured, but maybe you've had the wind knocked out of you

or you're a bit startled or a bit frightened of this bear that's just thrown you across the room. And as the kind of noise of Tomy hitting the floor and skidding echoes, you hear a voice coming from inside the room with the bear from inside a closet that appears to be closed.

And you just hear this voice of Oh dear, is Bawble still causing trouble out there? Oh, he's usually very sweet. I'm not sure what's wrong with him. Thirst in hell? Yep, don't know at this point. It's just a mysterious voice.

Interesting. So Trixie. Well, it's pretty obvious what's going on now. Trixie's a problem solver with things. Well, she's gonna talk to the voice and be like, how many cupcakes did you feed Bubbles? Oh, he's been eating them all ever since I arrived in Gantelot, he loves his sweets, my dear boy.

That's the problem, you can't just eat sweets, you have to balance things out. That would be like me using too many sprockets when I need to put badgets in there. I'm afraid I don't understand what you're saying. You can have sweets any time you like. They just serve them. You ask for a cake and they bring you one.

Why wouldn't you eat cake all the day? Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Oh, well, I guess I never thought of that. It's a shame B Bauble's a bear. He doesn't really understand. Trixie wants to go up to Bauble's. He's not holding it, he's covering his nipples now. Afraid, afraid.

Yeah. Smart man. Let's pause. Yeah, he's literally holding them like this. Bauble's, I'm not going to eat these. I just want to help you. There's something new that I've been trying out. It's a way to help people eat their vegetables

without even really knowing that they're eating their vegetables. Okay, so I pull out this other funnel. It's a pie and go. Okay. But it makes vegetable pies. Okay, sure, yeah. So you can make any pies, but you can just put vegetables in.

Exactly, so I put vegetable pies. So yeah, you hear Countess Pie from the other room, just like, hmm, like poking your head in. Yeah, sure. And you're going to stuff it full of veggies or something and make a vegetable pie? Yes, veggies and meats. Are all ponies vegetarians?

Or do they eat just about anything? I think they're vegetarian. They're vegetarian, yeah? I think in the show they eat things like hay and salads and things. Right, right. I'm trying to remember. It depends. I have a very advanced power.

Yeah, what does peaches go for? A steak filet mignon? Steak puffin. Puffin! That's going to be really awkward when you meet the cows of the neighboring kingdoms. You're the one that's been eating my kind. Whatever's there, I like to try it.

It's a delicacy, you know. It's going to be vegetable pie, and for sweetness, it's gonna be fruits that are in it. Okay, yeah. You need your fiber baubles. He groans. Give me a gadget test just to see if the gadget malfunction. So mind and then gadget.

Mind and gadget. Oh, one of them's a six. Okay, is that the D6? Yeah, so you can roll a D8 and see if you get any higher. No, that one's a one. Okay. Don't forget as well, you guys can spend your friendship tokens at any time if you want to automatically succeed or if you want to discard and re-roll dice and things like that. I have a friendship token!

And I throw it in from out in the hall. Is it an actual thing or is it metaphysical? It's metaphysical. So how is Tomy going to help Trixie with her gadget? I'm going to take the P-meter and clamp it onto her machine, and I'm just going to crank it as fast as I can. So it, like, increased the power. Sure, that works perfectly.

So now roll a D20 instead of the D8. So you get to roll a D20 for this test. All right. Oh, sorry, just re-roll it. Sorry, because you only spent the one, right? Yeah, just one. Just the one, so you just re-roll the D8. Oh, it's roll a d20 for this test. All right. Oh, sorry, just re-roll it. Sorry, because you only spent the one, right? Yeah, just one. Just the one. So you just re-roll the d8.

Oh, it's not a d20. Got it. That's my bad. No worries. Six. Six. So the same result. But it's still enough.

So with a six, it's still enough where you kind of crank this thing, and this pie kind of scoots over. And you can see Bulwark kind of like See? It's so good. Just like begins stuffing in his mouth but he kind of waits for a moment and he like pats his tummy and he kind of like picks you up and kind of like wraps like his big paws around you

and squishes you into his fur I'm so glad you like it. He's like and puts you down and he's like and puts you down. He's like. Oh, more? Oh, okay, but only so many. Your stomach is already so full. It's a lot of fiber.

You should probably wait until you poop it all out. Yeah, and then you can start again. I think that's the problem that you're having, you're overeating. Yeah, maybe you should go for a run around the castle, you know, just to sort of get it going through you. It would take you about 10,493 steps to get around the castle.

He just looks at you like. That'll help you get that dumper out. And it'll make you feel better. And he just takes off and runs out of the doorway and runs back down the stairs. There's a few kind of startled cries from the pony guards, but Harvest Thunder kind of trots in afterwards, claps her hooves together, which kind of plays.

Well done, friends. I was wondering how you'd deal with that grumpy bear. Who would have figured that he's been eating real bad these last few days? Must have been giving him an awful sort of stomach. Yeah, that's what happened. She just needed a little bit of life coaching. Yeah.

I'm covered in vomit. I like to use telekinesis and just remove that from him. So you tear off a piece of cloth and start wiping Wirly away. Yeah, I think like, there's no threat of anything going wrong, I feel, so you're just kind of wiping the telekinesis, with the telekinesis, wiping the vomit away.

But you're still kind of like, it's still that lingering smell. There's still a lingering smell for poor Whirly. Of course. But yeah, you kind of hear that. And Harvest Thunder turns and she's like, Marquise, Mar But yeah, you kind of hear that and Harvest Thunder turns and she's like, Marquise, Marquise, you can come out now.

He's being dealt with and from the closet these kind of doors open and a unicorn, a very kind of tall elegant looking male unicorn appears. He is, I believe he's got a pale blue coat

with a silvery mane. His cutie mark is a blue gemstone-tipped scepter. And as he emerges, he's like, oh, fantastic, what a lovely job you've all done. Bawble is a bit of a handful, honestly. Lovely, oh, good. Well, Captain, you've done a marvelous job. You earth ponies are so dependable, aren't you?

Trixie gets in his face. Hello, hello there, fellow unicorn. Pleasure to meet you. You cannot treat your sidekicks like this. What do you mean? Bawbler loves his sweeties. You're not doing it the right way. You have to take care of them.

What do you mean? And then they take care of them. What do you mean? And then they take care of you. They are your companion. But he loves it. He's so happy when I give him his cakeys. He'd also love the vegetable pie. He'd also probably love if you would get out of the castle with him and exercise. Oh, exercise.

I suppose I could. Oh, maybe the guards would take him for a run. I'm afraid I don't do a lot of running myself. I wouldn't be able to keep up with him. But that's a very good tip. Jolly good. Thank you so much. What's your name? I'm Trix don't do a lot of running myself. I wouldn't be able to keep up with him, but that's a very good tip. Jolly good. Thank you so much. What's your name?

I'm Trixie Gadgets. Oh, lovely to meet you. Soon to be court gadgeteer, possibly. It's very important to have an ambition, Trixie Gadgets. That's marvelous. You can call me Laz. That's what all my friends call me. Laz, what are you doing hiding in the closet?

It's Lapis Lazuli. Oh, sorry! Yes, yes. Technically it's Marquis Lapis Lazuli Starbolt, but you don't need to use my full title. Just Lord Lazuli or Sir Lazuli is quite acceptable. Yes. Oh, you have a very good job with the weather. Is that what you Pegasus here in Equestria do? It's what the Pegasus here do. That's not exactly my job, but I do dabble in it when we have an emergency, when people need help, I will do it.

Oh, very good. I play music. Oh, music? Yeah, I play music. Oh, you're like a court entertainer. Yeah. Oh, marvelous, marvelous, yes. Wait, why were you in the closet hiding from your pet?

Well, Boba was causing an awful mess and I didn't want him to ruin my bags before I head back home. You're the ones who will be escorting me, I take it. Oh, another unicorn, lovely to meet you, m'lady. Pleasure. Oh yes, what's your name? My name is Countess Pye. Oh, call me Laz, milady. Pleasure. Oh, yes, what's your name? My name is Countess Pye.

Oh, call me Laz, Countess. Lovely to be in the presence of other nobility as well. Lovely to be in the presence of a lord. Oh, well, thank you very much. And you earth ponies, you'll be joining with us as well? Does a bear shit in the woods? Don't mind him. Yes?

He reads a lot. Hopefully. Well, he'll probably do it in the castle? Don't mind him. Yes? He reads a lot. Hopefully. I believe, well, he'll probably do it in the castle, I imagine. Where does he find out where the acrobobbles shits? Actually, a bear pukes in a room. I can, you know, somebody can say. My dear unicorns, because,

good little opening, would you mind just going to the washroom, you're very smelly. I smell. You're very terrible. And when it dries? I mean, I know that you're. Your weather thing is a little humid now, so it gets a little, yeah, a little humid. You work the land.

There's not a lot of opportunities for bathing and things, I understand, for earth ponies. Yeah, I'm figuring that out the hard way. Yes, well, yes, if you wouldn't mind, good chap. Sure thing, so to the washroom I go. There's a bathroom in here, yes. Please, if you wouldn't mind, good chap. Sure thing, so to the washroom I go? There's a bathroom in here, yes, please help yourself. All right, I go to the washroom, and it's got one of those air, it's got one of those,

do I make it to the washroom? Let's find out! Let's find out, Roger, why don't you roll a mine for me? Something's gonna happen on my way to the washroom? Roll a mine dice for me. I'm gonna roll a mine dice, thanks Something's going to happen on my way to the washroom? Roll a mine dice for me. Roll a mine dice. Thanks, frickin' Tommy. What the hell? When it's up like that,

it's just a pointy. It's a four. It's a four. I guess it's always going to be that, so it's the number that's at the top. It's the number at the top, yeah. Oh, it's the same on all three sides. I rolled a four. Four, yeah. This is a thing that GMs like to do, which is just making players roll dice for no real reason. Yeah, you make your way to the bathroom. Yeah, this is a thing that GMs like to do which is just making players roll dice for no Real reason yeah, yeah, you you make your way to the bathroom

I'm entertaining the pony master by mocking the very nature of what we're doing Yeah, you make your way to the bathroom and you clean yourself up clean myself up and it's like damn it They've got one of those air blade things. Yeah, so you gotta like do like one in two sides Wind blades, yeah Wind blades, air blades. So it takes me a little while, and I can't get my whole body. So only all four of my legs are dry at this point.

The rest of the mane and everything, it's still kind of gross. It's not a good look. It's not a good look. Not a good look. After Whirlypoo returns, Harvest Thunder is like, well, if you haven't figured by the Marquise, we need you to escort him back to his home country.

There are lots of guards. We've got people on maneuvers. There's people attending to Princess Twilight Sparkle up in the Crystal Empire. We just don't have the pony power to give him a suitable escort back home. Now, the trip should be fairly easy. You're going to take the Canterlot Express train out to the west. You're going to go through the Whitetail Woods on the train. There's a station called Pewter Point.

You're going to get off there, and then it's about a three-day hike through the mountains. And then you'll reach the Marquis' homeland, Gelderland. Gelderland. Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, my little pony friends are going to love it, love it. My father, I'm sure he'll have a big celebration when I come home. I can make sure, oh, Countess Pie and Trixie Gadgets will make sure you get some lovely jewelry and souvenirs to bring home.

My country is very famed for its jewels and gemstones. I do enjoy my shinies. I do enjoy the spectrums that jewels have when I shine light through them. Yes, certainly light through spectrums. He has no idea what you're talking about. It's gonna be the five of us, but Harvest, you're not able to come along for the journey?

Sadly not, friends. I mean, with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna here, I have to remain, so this is why, but this is why Princess Twilight, she said that you were all very dependable, and that, well, that maybe, maybe you can help teach a few things or two along the way. There's a reason. Is this also a test? Is this a continuation of the test,

or are we done with the test? We're done with the test. Okay. Now, we'll make sure Bobble gets to the train, and we'll get him hitched up in there, but I just wanted to see how you solve problems. Interesting. I think we did a mighty good job. You did a fantastic job, Bobble.

Well, thank you so much. Stop it now. So we got three days to get up to Gilderland? Yeah, well, you'll travel on the train. Okay. That'll take about a day, but that should be nice and easy. Just get on the Cannellon Express, make your way straight there, and then it's a three day

hike through the mountains to Gelderland. Wait, why do we need to escort him? Well, and you can see, she's like, Marquis, why don't you go get your things and just make sure you've got everything ready to go. He's like, oh yes, very good, excellent, yes. He begins trying his way back over to the closet, and Harvest Thunder leans in. Well, if you hadn't told,

he's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, and also he's the son of the Duke Zircon who rules Gelderland, so we need to make sure he gets back safe and sound. If he comes to any harm or gets in any trouble, it's going to cause all sorts of problems for Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight

Sparkle. It's like a VIP escort. Very much so. Now he can be a little... He's a very nice fella, but he is born from privilege, so you may need to work around him in some ways.

He's used to a different kind of culture out in Gilderland. Sure, sure, sure. I believe I might be able to speak his language. I do appreciate the finer things. Mm, mm. Well, if you need anything before your trip, the castle's happy to provide. We've got little packs for all of you with some supplies.

And I've had our alchemist brew up some pony bombs, which will make sure if you're feeling tired, it'll give you some of your energy back. Oh, bombs! Bombs! Not a bomb! Pony bombs. Sometimes I slur

my words a little. It's a little hard to get out. A lot of folks don't think I sound like I'm from Southern Equestria, but I am. So sometimes I don't, you know, people can't understand the accent. There's a lot of layers there. Yeah, yeah. And also, if you need to borrow anything from the Royal Guards, you're more than welcome to. We have barred in if that's something you'd be interested in. Or if you need anything that you're going to, you know, equipment or anything like that,

we're happy to provide it. I do need some basic ingredients if we're going to be going on at least a three-day hike. Of course, Trixie, yeah. We'll be happy to provide you with a number of any kind of little supplies you need, cogs, gizmo springs, any of that stuff. Oh, you speak my language. Yeah, well, we've heard of you, so we know. We've had to attend to a couple of your workshop fires

before. Oh, yeah. There are many of those. Request A, deodorant. B, armor for all of my friends. Myself and all my friends for our journey. We can provide that. It should be noted that, especially for some of the

pegasi and the unicorns, armor does interfere with flying and magic a little, so that's up to you if you want to take it, but you earth ponies. You and I, we might, yeah. Is it waterproof? Nope. Asking for a friend.

Nope. I'm having a really bad day, you guys. Now, would y'all be looking for kind of more lightweight Barden or heavy like mine? Because you need to be pretty strong if you want to be, and she kind of stamps her hoof a couple of times. Well, sometimes I like to take a lot of vitamins

and jump on a trampoline, so I should probably stick with really light armor if you have it. All right, I can make sure we get you a nice little set of light barden, if that's what you're after. What about you, Mr. Spins? We'll go heavy. All right, all right, I think we've got something in our sights.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Hoorah. Yeah. All right. Bro, do you even lift? Oh, I lift.

You lift? I lift. You wanna go? We can go. No, I don't, I don't, I don't. We are a bunch of yay-sayers, not nay-sayers. We are very good. Say yes. Say yes.

Say yes. Yes and, I like it. How about, you know, I don't know if we'll need it, but weapons? Yeah, if you would like to take, we have a couple of spears that you can help yourself to, royal guard spears. I'll take a spear.

I don't, look, they have them in the show. I don't know how they work, but they can have them. Rock, paper, scissors! Shit! Rock again! I already have a spear on the top of my head. Oh, I'm sure you unicorns would be fine. Obviously, thank you for understanding.

But I was wondering, sometimes I do have a little difficulty remembering things. For example, where are we? I was thinking if I could have something to write things down. Of course. Or something to record. So that if there's something I have to remember, I won't forget. Of course you can.

Could I also have something to write things down or record? Yes, ma'am. We will make sure you have something to write stuff down. Thank you so much. We'll make sure you have something to write stuff down. Thank you so much. We'll make sure you have something to write stuff down. You took the words right out of my mouth. I thought so. This is where the game turns into memento.

Pai just has loads of scrollings while he roams. Who is the Marquis? He parks everywhere. Lapis. Well, you guys provided everything you asked for, so. I have one more request. Of course. I know that you have private libraries here,

and I don't know much about the land of Gelderland, so I was wondering if I could take a look at some of your stacks here. Of course you can. And learn what I can about their customs and ways. So smart. Of course you can. Certainly would be happy to provide.

I can have that delivered to the train so you can read it on the way. Ooh. Yes. That's a yes. I wasn't sure it sounded like a good noise, but all right. Well, thank you.

Thank you, Pony, so much. This is a huge help for the Royal Guard and for the princesses especially. But please, you've got to make sure that Lapis reaches Gelderland unharmed and make sure you take him to see his father in Zirconia. That's their capital city. It's a three-day hike from the mountains.

Duke Zircon from Zirconia. Exactly. I see. I had already written that down with my new implements. So Zirconia is in Gelderland. It is, it's the capital. It's the capital. I actually know that because I've done

some weekend tours there. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's a cover, we travel as a cover band. Well, you'll be a perfect navigator when they get into the mountains. I will. All right. It's a genre.

We're a cover band of Chicago. You know that band? Um. I'm familiar. They did, that was their lead singer actually played the flute. That's pretty good. That doesn't make any sense.

Well. He sang through the flute. He sang through it. He played two instruments at once, his voice. What did that sound like when he sang through the flute? Wait, what's the Chicago sound? Something, oh, Chicago. Yeah, there you go. I'm going to get it wrong with Boston.

All I'm thinking of is Africa, but that's totally. Yeah, I can't, God, it's all dirty. It's just a small town, honey. They blast the rains down in Gal-o-land. Dude, that's Weezer. So, you are all escorted down to the Cantaloupe Express, They bless the rains down in Galvaland. Do that wheezer. So you are all escorted down to the Cantaloupe Express, a train that runs across Equestria. You pass a carriage at the back where Bawble is being loaded in with lots of fruit and vegetables upon Trixie's recommendation.

Marquis Lampis-Langelie, he emerges from his closet with several bags, but he kind of just gestures them towards Tomy and Whirly. It's like, oh, gentlemen, if you wouldn't mind, please. It's going to be like that, huh? Thank you so much. Oh, lovely. Wonderful. You look so spiffy. Oh, yeah. So with the heavy body, the bags is very tiring. Okay. Doing anything body, the bags is very tiring. Okay. Doing anything physical is going to be very tiring. It's leg day.

It's all four leg days. It's leg day. It's all four leg days. So you make your way down to the train. You notice that his bags are full of souvenirs from Equestria, really tacky souvenirs, kind of like T-shirts, little banners, symbol, like little model versions of the castle. And he tells you endlessly how their gifts are his friends,

his unicorn friends back in Gelderland. He goes through each one. It's very tiring. But you make your way to the train. He loads up into a private carriage, which is this beautifully decorated private train carriage. There is a television. There is a television, there is a bar, there are comfortable seats.

Oh, Trixie and Pi, you're more than welcome to join me up in here. I'm going to watch a marathon of my favorite show on the way. This is a lovely television. Yes, it's

the Pride of Gelderland. What's your favorite show? You want to know? I don't know if you have it here in Equestria, Mane of Thrones. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Waka waka!

Waka waka, yes. I just hope it ends very well. You know, I'm very excited about it. I think it will. I hear they're really just on the right path. Sometimes it's hard to stick the landing. I better get a petition going for how we want that show to end.

I think that's a good idea, because then it will end the way you want it to. Because I'm owed things for my entertainment. Yes, of course. But yeah, the invitation for his private carriage only extends to Trixie and Countess By. He's kind of like, oh, yes, well, we'll see you at the station then, good folk, yes?

Oh, you guys are just gonna go, you're gonna go on your own? I feel awesome. I mean, it's my carriage. I mean, I suppose you'd be welcome to, you know, but if any other folk from Gelderland, like, when we stop, you might need to go in the other

carriage. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I see, I see. Where's the bear at this point? Yeah, he's in a separate carriage. I'll ride with a bear. Oh, yes, you can keep bauble company. Wonderful. What was your name? Timmy? Yeah, that's Timmy.

Timmy. Timmy Teens. Timmy Teens. Yes, now I remember. What a lovely chap. Thank you so much for looking after bauble. It's very kind of you. Okay. Yes, yes. We're good friends. I feel concerned about our group splitting up right now, and while I am torn, I do like the finer things in life and would like to be in the special shiny bobble car, not with bobble, but with the things that are shiny, but I'm a little nervous about

Tommy going off on his own, since we're all friends. Well, we can watch him. I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I just thought you were all different ponies brought together. I didn't realize you were friends. Well, once ponies are brought together, we're always friends. Oh, you were questioning ponies is so funny. That's very nice, isn't it?

You get along so well. Well, of course, yes, come in, come in. Everyone come in, why not? It's fine, you know what I prefer? I'm just going to read to the bear on the way, all right? Actually, I need to air out, so I'm going to go up top, and I'm going to keep an eye. On top of the train?

Yeah, right on top, keep an eye, make sure that where we're going is safe. What a brave, how terribly brave of you. What was your name again? Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I was just going to, what was your name again? Now that we're away from Captain Thunderpants, it's Whirlypoo.

Whirlypoo? Yes, the L is for that one. Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! I know, it's a great name, right? It's a great name, what did you know? You're so funny. Thanks, man. So I'm going to toss these great spins,

these little zoomies. Whirlies. He spins around. Yeah, I got the roost off. It's swirly. But I'm going to go up top and observe so that I know what's coming down the track. All this time in the background, Trixie has been taking the TV apart.

I like the idea that Trixie takes it apart, puts the frame back together again, but all the insides are taken out, and Lazuli is just like, oh dear, the TV seems to be broken. It's not coming on. Oh no, that's horrible. Pops, they took it off the air because of a cup? I hope not. Oh dear. Well, I guess board games, anyone? Yes! You're on the top of the train.

Sure. What?! Welcome to the world of consequences, Roger. This is why books are superior. Awaken the Stallion Within by Pony Robbins, chapter one. Oh, wow. You had these chambered. He's been working on these since he emailed me about the character. I'm just going to yell out every now and then, everything's fine! You just do your thing, PM! The train just chugs away.

The wheels begin spinning up. You hear a blast of steam, and the pony express makes its way out west towards and through the Whitetail Woods. These kind of big, thick, dense forests on either side of the tracks. You occasionally glimpse these kind of ancient rock formations with moss and kind of ruins scattered amongst the forest themselves.

You occasionally see, like, wild animals running around. And about halfway through the day, there is a moment where, I guess, Countess Pie, Trixie, Lapis Lazuli, and, I guess guess Peaches, who was still in the main character. You're playing Pony Monopoly or something. Ponypony!

Ponypony, thank you, Roger. Come on, man, it's low-hanging fruit. Look, okay, I'm not an improv actor, okay, Roger? Give me a break. If you don't mind, I prefer Monopoly. Monopoly. Oh, wow. Monopoly. Schooled.

Schooled. And whilst Tomy is reading to the bear, pretty much most of the way through. And in conclusion, don't take my word for it, you have to plant the first hoof. The bear just nods along like engrossed. And Whirly, while you're on the top, you see it first.

You see the ground beginning to shake, and an earthquake rumbles down the tracks, this earthquake around the whole area. Make a body test for me, would you please, Whirly, as you are currently in very heavy barding on top of a moving train as an earthquake hits. Earthquake hits, and I need to warn my friends. Sure. So, oh man.

Like a body test? Yeah, yeah, unless you can think of something that you want to do. If you can think of anything, like, if not, you're just gonna roll that body test on its own. No! Here's what I'm going to do. Okay, so an earthquake's not so good for a train. I got all this heavy armor on, which I'm regretting. So here's my body test. I'm going to spin super fast and fling off the armor

on the front of the train. It's going to hit the tracks and stop the train before the earthquake hits us. Oh my god. So it's an emergency stop of the train with the white armor, which I need to get off anyway. Just so you know, Roger, I'm not your enemy. It feels contentious!

It feels contentious, okay? Here's your body test. We're working together on this, buddy. You're not going to catch me, man. No, we're going to work together, so yeah. You've had it out for me since early on in the game. So body and your talent. Body and talent.

Both of them together. So I got to do? D8 and D6. You trying to stop me from winning my pony? What are you doing, man? Do you have a pony bro? Did you have a pony bro? All right, both.

Oh boy, I got a one and a three. You got a one on the six. And a three. So you begin spinning, and some parts of the armor come flying off. Okay. But you don't have the aim to get them in front of the track,

and one of the boots kind of gets stuck, and you can't quite throw it off. And by the time the earthquake hits, you're kind of shaken, and you kind of like fall off the side. You're going to take three points of stamina. Dang it! And the rest of you, the carriage is just shaken apart.

The game goes flying. You and Bawble are kind of thrown around together. And the train kind of gets not derailed, but it comes to a grinding halt as some of the track gets messed up in front of you. And this earthquake just kind of obliterates the area. You can see all the earth has been churned up. Some of the rock formations in the forest have been split open and these big caves leading down into the ground. Whoa!

Uh-oh. Is everybody okay? Oh, my goodness! What on earth was that? What was it? I'm going to go outside and investigate. There was an earthquake! I can tell you from up here.

Oh no! Yeah, you see, like, stuck his head in the ground with like his little legs kind of sticking up. Oh dear, your little Wally friend, he's stuck in the ground. What's up, O.B.I.C., Whirlypoo? We're going to get you out of here! I'm going to try to pull him out.

Yeah, you just step off the train. Yeah, you just pull him out, thump, and he comes flying up. Oh, thanks. Are you okay? Is anybody injured? I think everybody's all right. I'm all right. Oh yes, I'm terribly fine, awful.

Although they did break my Monopoly set, oh dear. Thank you for going with my turn. Well, I didn't hear the other one. I don't know if there was somewhere else. Monopoly was the other one. Oh, yes, yes, yes, he came up with one, didn't hear the other one. I don't know if there was somewhere else. Monopoly was the other one. Oh, yes, yes, yes, he came up with one, didn't he? Yeah, the chambers were surprisingly cushioned. They were.

So yes, you put them up. So we're not going anywhere now. The train tracks seem to have all been broken up, but they're fixable, and the engineer pony, this big older pony with a big gray mustache comes out. Well, it looks like these tracks need to be getting a good fixing going on here. It's going to take me a bit of time,

so I hope everybody gets a comfortable. Yeah, well, if you need it. Did you all hear me? How long, how much time do you think you need? Oh, it's going to be a few hours, I reckon. Whoa. Unless some puns break out there. She's very good at this type of thing.

I could definitely help. Oh, I'd welcome the help, little unicorn. That'd be mighty fine. Excellent, just show me where the break is. All right. I'll see if I have a gadget that can help cut down some of that time. That sounds good. I got some tools up in my carriage in the front, too.

And he kind of leads you to the thing. And yeah, you look at the tracks, and you can see that they've kind of been twisted and bent a little bit. With some of your gadgets, you might be able to kind of write them, maybe bend them back into shape and things like that using gadgetry and gizmos. But for the rest of you, while Trixie goes to do that,

from one of these rock formations where this cave is kind of opened up and split, Whirly, you see it first. Shiny. Yeah, you see something glitters for a second. And then the glittering blinks. Precious! And then a couple more shinies poke out, and a few more.

And then scurrying out of this rock cave come these little rock dogs, and they're all different breeds. So you get, like, little Pomeranian rocks. You get a couple of, like, husky rocks, a couple of St. Bernard rocks, these bigger dogs, and they come out. Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar. And they begin barking and howling at everybody around, and they're harassing you guys as you're around.

So how are you going to deal with this? It looks like they're going to start nipping at you guys. It's so cute, it's so cute! They are cute, they are also barking at us. Before we get close to them and pet them unintelligently, perhaps we should use the power of telekinesis and take some of those rocks and build a wall in front of all the puppies.

Yeah, sure. You can absolutely do that. Like a dog run. Give it a pin. Yeah, I'd say mind and telekinesis. All right. So I'll do mind first. You can roll them both at the same time as well if you want to. I could, but I did not. That's a six for man. Okay, so see if you get another six just in case.

And I got a three. Okay, well, because you rolled the maximum dice, you get to roll the d8 and see if you get another six just in case. And I got a three. Okay, well, because you rolled the maximum dice, you get to roll the d8 and see if you get a higher result. Just kidding. Oh, I'm done. You're prettiest. That's very important for this game, I feel. It really is.

Drum roll. Four. A four, so the six was the highest. What, six was the highest? Yeah, so you begin piling up rocks, and it blocks off maybe, say, three or four of the smaller rock dogs, but a couple of ones, like a big Doberman rock dog and a Greyhound rock dog and a Supernod just leap over.

And as they land, they kind of start snarling. And you can see their kind of rocky forms begin chipping away and kind of grating on each other with stone. And when they see Marquis Lazuli, they get very aggressive and they start like moving towards him. Roar, roar, roar, barking to each other. What are you doing?

Oh, Baubles, Baubles, we need you out here. The pie maker, your pie giver is gonna be eaten up, come on. So you're gonna try and call Baubles to try and help? Okay, give me a charm text. Baubles, ba-ba. That's a four. charm text, see if you feel like I'm going. I'm gonna release the bear! That's a four. Yeah, so you hear this kind of like, slovenly like, and he pulls himself free, but he's such a big bear,

his form kind of gets stuck in the doorway of the carriage side door, and he's like, Oh, jeez. And he's trying to crawl his way out, so he's gonna need someone to help him to get it. Okay, I'm gonna start tugging on him to pull his body out. I'll help, to need someone to help him. I'm going to start tugging on him. I'll help. I'll help, too. Come on, Earth.

I'm helping. Well, so do you guys want to, you can either spend a friendship token, if you all did it, then you could use that, or you could make a test together. What do you want to do? How do you make a test again? So, yeah, so all of you would make a body test, and all three of you would make it at the same time, and whoever gets the highest will use that result, basically.

Yeah. I'm pretty busy. I like that. Mm-hmm. All right. Now, you can spend that to re-roll it, Roger. If you get a bad roll, you can spend that to re-roll. No, I'm working.

Okay, so everybody make a body test, all of you that are helping. Body test, yay. I'm not helping at all. I got a one. One, one. Two. I rolled a six. A, one. Two. Two. I rolled a six.

A six? Nice! Okay, so the three of you together, with Tomy kind of taking the lead, having spent time with Bawble, and then using the bulk of peaches and the bulk of whirlypoo, you, and with this kind of like, like the bear kind of slides out,

you kind of tumble into a ball together, and then he kind of lands Just as the rock dogs begin advancing on land July and you can see they're barking really angrily at him And then bauble seeing his his master and friend in trouble Barrels forward and that's knocking the rock dogs out the way sending them flying Yeah, you kind of hear like and the grating of stone on each other and they begin like you know circling around and they make their way back towards the hole that they came from while this has been going on tricks did you wanna roll

and see if you can have fix the train yeah I'd say this would be I'd say body and gadgets, because there's some physicality in this. Like, you're trying to, like, you know, leverage your way through. Okay, I got a three in body and a two in gadgets. Okay, so with the engineer's help, it's going to take you a few hours,

but you can still help repair the whole thing. And, yeah, you basically spend some time repairing the thing. The Marquis kind of like looks around. He's like, oh, oh, there were what frightful little creatures. Thank you all so much, my friends. Oh, it's... Lord Lars, can you think of any reason why those puppies were after you? No, goodness me, no.

I've never seen anything like that in my life. Have you ever kicked a puppy? No, I would never do such a thing. I just had to ask. No, terribly not. No, I mean, the only thing I can think of is some of the miners and the earth ponies in my country did have mentioned

that they've seen similar creatures in the mines back in my homeland, but I've never seen one like that, and they've certainly never seen me. What else do you hear about them? Oh, just they're there they're usually they're not very harmful the miners think they're quite sweet really What are they mining for? Oh gemstones, that's everything, you know Gelderland is famed for its gemstones

The unicorns is tradition. We use our magic to locate mineral deposits and veins of ores. And then the earth ponies, who are naturally better at work and digging and things like that, they dig up the gemstones and they give them to the unicorns and we sell them to other countries and then we give some of the earth ponies

some supplies and money back. Is there any additional details on these crystal dogs in the books that I read on Gelderling Land? Gelderlands, yeah, I think there would have been. So they're commonly referred to as rock dogs, and they're generally found very deep in the earth, in Gelderland, they're found very deep, and what are you laughing at, Geely?

I was just thinking about rock gnomes. Deep, deep gnomes. Yeah. So the dogs themselves, they're found deep down in the earth, and they normally protect mineral deposits, but the Gelderland

ponies have kind of come up with a relationship with them. As long as they don't take the bigger gemstones, the rock dogs don't seem to mind um um and and yeah the miners have found a way to kind of like some of them keep them as pets and things like that um but yeah it doesn't seem that laz knows anything about them so uh and yes it's just like yes i know that the miners uh encounter them sometimes but i mean i've never been down in the mines myself so i've never seen them before um i've heard seen them before. I've heard of them.

Is it possible to befriend one of these little things? I think so. Domesticate, if you will. Looking at those things, they were vicious. They were coming straight for me. Well, you also have a bear as a pet, so. Well, yes, he's been my childhood friend. I've had him since he was a little cubby. What's your hand?

Never mind. And all the dogs are in. You haven't been treating him very well. Well, I've done my best. I've given him everything he wants. That's what father does with me. Is that not right? There are times when it is not the best thing to do.

Really? Oh. Can I try to pet some? They've scampered back into the hole, and they've made their way back down into the earth at this point, being scared off by Borbler, who's kind of like thrown them away, sadly. Too much for that. In the background, somehow, there's another explosion.

Yeah, you hear like a... Ah, fidgety-gidgets, this is going to take a while. Yeah, but it does it well, with nothing else to do, with no other threats. Trixie and the engineer manage to fix the tracks, and you carry back on your way on the train, having spent a bit more time. Is there anything anybody would like to do on the train?

Anything you guys would like to talk about? Is there anything else to take apart? The train? The train? The train itself. Keep an eye on Trixie. You could be going and stealing all the light bulbs from all the garages or, I don't know,

maybe like a phonogram, like a music player and things like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you start pilfering parts from that. You can wipe down TV parts and phonogram parts. Who knows if they'll come in handy. Trixie, You are very talented. This is amazing what you could do.

I can't believe you fixed up this train and now we're on our way. Oh, well, the engineer helped a lot. I actually, I'm not that great at mechanic stuff. I'm more good at inventing things, so I don't really use normal tools. I just use the ones that I make up in my lab. That's so cool.

Okay. I did have a question. Tell me, when y'all were going through some of those books, did you see anything about perhaps how the earth ponies are treated? Because there was something about the way our lass was talking, made me wonder if they were being treated as, I don't know, less than.

I mean, everyone knows royalty is royalty, but there is something about everypony mattering. Well, he does seem a little overly pampered, and yeah, he gave me and Whirlypoo a bit of the shifty eye. Was there anything in the books about that? So, you read through the books. Gelderland has, Equestria had a particular history where the three pony types came together to work together to solve a problem. And Gelderland never had that problem. They never had to deal with the, I can't remember what they're called. But there was a threat, a magical threat that bound the ponies of Equestria together. And Gelderland never really had that.

Instead, it's been a very prosperous nation because it's so rich with gemstones and gold and things like that. The land of Gelderland is split into lords and ladies who own land. And then the Pegasi are generally the knights. They serve as knights who protect the unicorns. And then the earth ponies work the land to provide food. And in exchange exchange they're given rights to live on the land and basically uh you know get supplies and things like that it's a bit of a feudal system very feudal very uh very middle ages england kind of thing the earth ponies are seen as kind of the serfs um and then the pegasi are the knights and then the unicorns are the lords and ladies of the land um and in the history books you've read, it's never really been that bad. It was always kind of like there was a fair share of things being done.

It was just kind of a, you know, this is the way that things are and everyone seemed happy. But certainly, yeah, that's not how things are done in Equestria. You just don't have an upward probability. So, you know, you kind of get your lot in life and that's where you are. Some of us have wings. Some of us are stuck on the ground. It's okay.

Yeah. You're a little more optimistic than I am. It's a messed up situation, bro. Your last name is Pooh. You know this. It's actually part of my full name. Well, you have to see it to be it. Yeah.

You are gonna lead a terrible cult in Equestria one day. He's going to be at the top of a scheme, going all the way down. Just the worst of every self-help program that was ever created. Hey, man, you see what you aim for? If it is to be, it is up to me. So the rest of the trip on the train goes without problems. You guys make your way to a station called Pewter Point, which is a little tiny station in the middle of nowhere,

and it leads into a valley, a mountain hike trail that leads into the Western Mountains, which head towards Gelderland. And for this bit, as you guys are going to be hiking through the woods, I would like, for each day of travel, you guys are going to need to tell me who is going to be your navigator, who is going to be your guide, and who's going to provide moral support to make the day go easily. Well, you've got binoculars.

I know, but that's not necessary for navigating. That's more like a, I don't know. What are they? It was a navigator, who will actually figure out where you're going and make sure you don't get lost. The guide will be much more physical, making sure they clear boulders out of the way, or make sure that there's a path for you to follow, things like that, and then moral support

is basically to make sure that it keeps your spirits up along the trip. Well, you know, navigating is not my specialty, but I could definitely help. That flute is pretty motivational. It sure is. I could help with some moral support, some vibe, that type of a thing. Okay.

Kind of like a bard pony. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I could help with that on some days. Okay. Kind of like a bard pony. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I could help with that on some days. Okay. Any plans? I'm all fine with using the binocs. You know, the binoxes, they say. Sure.

That's the lingo. Yeah, exactly. Bro. To get us where we need to go, but I don't know, because you're, I mean, all that pie stuff, you could pretty much make sure we stay on course to get us where we need to go, but I don't know, because you're, I mean, all that pie stuff, you could pretty much make sure we stay on course

using stars and the- Like Magitude and Magituri. I do believe I might be of some help there. And you can fly. Can't you? I can fly. You can fly, see, that's okay. So you might be really great with navigation and moral support since we have three days of travel. I might be good, I think with the moral support, I have an idea with that with some gadgets.

And even as a guide, it says, you know, it's more of a physical thing, but I might have some gadgets that might be able to clear the way. So I might be able to help with either of those. All right. It sounds like you guys have got some vague ideas of who you want to lead on the hike and through the mountains. Well, I don't know. Yeah, I guess, so, guide for the gadgetry is what we're thinking.

Tripsy guide, guys. I could do that for the first day. Okay. Yeah. Oh, we get, we assign each day? Yeah, it's gonna be three days. It's gonna be one each day. So why don't we take a break? Math, man!

Yeah, why don't we? A lot of math! We could take a break now, and then when we come back, we'll go through the hike, and then you guys can have a think about who you wanna do what on the break as well. Right. I dig it. And also, we'll level you guys up

during the break as well, because it's a one-shot. Yeah, you guys can have a level. Yeah! You guys have overcome a bear and an earthquake on a train, and you've been better friends, and that's how we trap you all. And we're gonna Google Chicago Shops! We're gonna Google Chicago Shops. and an earthquake on a train and you've been better friends. And that's how we track you on. We're going to Google Chicago Shots. We're going to Google Chicago Shots.

Oh man, you guys, friendship is magic. Friendship is magic. We're going to take a break. We'll be back very, very soon to finish off Tales of Equestria. Woo! You're listening to the Tales of Equestria one-shot on the Critical Role Podcast Network.

If you're enjoying the mayhem and would like to dive deeper behind our Critical Role episodes, check out our official talk show, Talks Machina. Live Tuesday nights on our Twitch channel and in podcast format right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network. Now, back to the show. Welcome back to Tales of Equestria, my little pony RPG, with all of these wonderful players and all of our terrible horse puns. I believe we left things off with you guys about to hike through the mountains

to lead to Gelderland, the home of Marquis Lapis Lazuli Starbolt. What a name. And we were picking who was going to be the navigator, the guide, and the moral sport. So this is something you have to pick each day. So it's just a quick thing. So just nominate somebody or somebody nominate themselves. We're gonna talk all about this

and we didn't do it at all. Okay. Guide. With the gadgets. I'll do a guide with the gadgets for day one. Okay, so guide. I'm happy to be a navigator. Navigator and then moral support. I'll be moral support.

Cloutus, Cloutus. Okay, so navigator. Clout it up. You are gonna make a Navigator, you are going to make a mind test for me, please. And Guide, you are going to make a body test for me. I am going to be using my gadgets and my telekinesis, because I am not a strong unicorn, but I am a smart one with my gadgetry. Okay, so you're still going to roll body, but you can choose to add one of your talents. So either telekinesis or your gadgets. Gadgets.

Okay, so you roll body plus your talent. Did you want to try and get your talent in to give you some sort of benefit for being a navigator? Well, absolutely. I do believe that when I'm navigating, I'd like to be able to use the power of numbers and counting and perhaps the circumference divided by the diameter. So you're to be able to use the power of numbers and counting, and perhaps the circumference divided by the diameter.

So you're looking at the mountain range, and you're figuring out by the curvature of Equestria that it will approximately take this, and this is the shortest route, and if we take this path, it's shorter than anything. I'm pretty sure Equestria's flat, you guys. I mean, come on, right? Have you been listening to Tomy too much? I'm not sure. What's up, dude? I mean, short, so you can't see.

I preemptively roll for mind, and it is only two. Well, you can add in your thing, excuse me. My talent. Well, that is a three. And then moral support, it's charm, and you're going to be playing your flute. Yes, I'm going to be, I just realized, remembered one of the favorite songs

when we play in our band is You're the Inspiration. Yeah. So I'm going to... So I'm going to roll charm. Plus your talent for flute playing. Your beautiful flute playing. I mean, there's also inspiration in the song. And it was just baritone, too. That was really impressive. Choose a bass.

I love it. So charm? Baritone, flute. And then flute. Okay. Whichever one's the highest. Ooh, roll the two, whichever one's the highest. Ooh, roll the two and that's the highest. So two highest for moral support.

What do we get on navigation for highest? Yeah, I know. Three for highest. Three for highest. Four for highest on. That was on my body rolls, that was the top one for body. That was the top, so you get to roll a d6.

You get to get the exploding hoof. Moral support. Nope, so four. A four. Okay, so. She just plays tabs on the flute for morals. Now I'm going to play hard to say I'm sorry, because it was so bad.

Well, I. We can change because we leveled up. Oh, I didn't know. We can change because we leveled up. We were going to level up, that's right. Let's do that, let's do that. So I believe, when you level up, I completely forgot that we were going to do that. I had my writing in for me, so I remember.

No, that was very good. So I believe when you level up, I've got to try and find the section. With leveling up, did that help with the flute? Maybe, it might do. Fluting. Flouting. She plays Brick by Ben Folds Five.

Just to inspire us. One, I'm a two! It's a horrible song! Have you listened to the lyrics? I'm so impressed! I'm glad I can just leave you guys to entertain yourselves while I'm desperately trying to find rules. Hold music while leveling up some. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you for holding. Your call is extremely important to us. Please stay on the line, and a customer representative will be with you shortly. Hi, this is Level Up Services. How may I help you? Right, so you can now gain a new level, update your character, increase your level by one. You can upgrade one of the die values among your three traits, so body, mind, or charm,

and increase it by one step. This is for everybody. So you choose one of your stats, and it boosts to the next die size up. So if it's a D6, it becomes a D8. If it's a D8, it becomes a D10. Yes. One of your stats can become one.

Just one. Yes, just one. So damn charming now. Can I ask you, what is the purpose of stamina? Is that like life? It's hit points, yes. So when I go down to zero, I'm dead? You're not dead.

I go to pony heaven! It's not possible to die in my little pony. I go to pony heaven! Pony heaven can be your special place that you go to. But it's generally, yeah, you get, like, knocked out, or you become too scared to keep going on, or your friends have to do something to, like, encourage you back or something like that. I'm a nightwalker.

So we're swapping out one of our die right now, right? You boost it up, yeah, so you increase it by one side. And it's just main stats right now. You can't do it for talent? Well, we're going to out one of our die right now right for you boost it up. Yes, you increase it by one side That's right. Not you can't do it for talent. Well, we're gonna get to those I think so Oh my goodness Julie Okay, so the it's your stamina is equal to your mind and your body dice, the maximum values added up. So if you had like a D6 and a D4, it was 10. If you've got your body to a D10 and your mind is a D4, it'd be 14.

So it's the highest of the values. Body and mind did not increase. Neither did stamina. Neither did stamina. And if it did? So your stamina is equal to the maximum amount of your mind and your body dice

rolled. Combined? Oh, rolled. Yes. Oh, wait, rolled, so not the maximum amount? Yeah, maximum amount of each dice, sorry, I'm phrasing this in a weird way. Maximum amount of each of those. Yes. So I have a six for body, a four for mind, so I put those together, make ten. Make ten, that's your stamina.

And that's your map stamina, or that's where your stamina is now? You keep stamina, you keep it at 10. I'm so sorry. It stays the same. Oh, it's only if you add one of the die to the. So if you increase your body or your mind, then it would go up by two points, I think. Oh, really, for now?

Yes. So even though I got a hit of three earlier in the game, when it took me down to nine, I go two up, I'm at 11 now. Yeah, and your maximum increases as well. I'm so good at this game! Sorry, that was a really confusing way of explaining it. And am I still the same place I was after getting wrapped up by the bear? We'll heal you up.

Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh good! Well, since Toonie also leveled up, do they get their friendship token back? Yep, everybody gets their friendship token back. So I would, in fact, I'm actually gonna, bleh. What?

And then, Ash, I'm gonna give you mine just because I'm gonna forget about that I have it. So you can hold onto that, and you can choose when you want to spend it. And then you upgrade all talents you used in the adventure. So for example, like I know Trixie, did Trixie use her telekinesis? I don't think she did.

I don't think she did. So you don't upgrade that, but your gadgets would increase. So any talent you used, you increase it by one die size. Oh. Okay, well that's an eight now. And since you were saying that with certain things, if we were to roll the talent combined, it was a d6. So it'd go up to a d8.

D8. Yes. So if you used your talent increases. Use the things. And then you get to upgrade one talent of your choice, or you can come up with a new talent that you've learned along the way. We can choose any other... Yep, so any of your existence. So you can upgrade one of your other talents, or you could gain a new talent if you want as well.

I am going to be an amateur flautist now, after spending so much time with Peaches. So you've been practicing a little bit on Peaches' flute. No, I asked Tricky to make me an improvised flute out of piping and gears and stuff. Oh, definitely do that. I've got some really great parts. You gain a flute of a d4. It comes in as a d4. I'm not very good. Yeah. So you can either gain a new talent or upgrade an existing one. I'm a backup flautist.

In Chicago. Replacing the former talent. No. Gain a new talent. Yeah, yeah. Gain or upgrade. So like, for example, for Whirlypoo, maybe wearing the armor and meeting Harvest Thunder

has like made you, you know, you've gained durability or something, like you're used to wearing armor. I no longer skip leg day. Yeah, sure. So you could get like a new talent of, you know, I don't know, armor expertise or something like that, so you're used to wearing your armor. Oh, I was just thinking extra strength. Or just swole.

Just talent of swole. I'm swole AF, bro! Swole talent. So there you go. I like to game. I wanna see a doctor back there. Since I have a spear, I wanna game talent with the spear. Spear, I like it, sure.

It's gonna get dangerous. It's gonna get dangerous. Since I helped with actual mechanics, I want to have a talent in that. So not inventing gadgets, but actually fixing things that are already, yeah, engineering. Perfect, so yeah, so it's all D4 for these new talents. And then what about you, Julie? I was thinking that because I was useful

in the concept of empathy and sort of like checking in with like, hey, how's the bear feeling? Maybe he's sick or like, whoa, let's contain the puppies before we try to kill them and you know, hey, how are the earth ponies doing or are they being mistreated? So maybe like some kind of empathy.

Empathy, I just think empathy, it could be. So I didn't have to keep talking? You could either have it as like a spell. Sorry, I missed. No, it was me babbling. It's fine. I think you could either have it as a spell where it's kind of like, you know,

Jean Grey style, you know, feeling emotions, or you could have it as just a natural, you're very good at talking to people and getting people to open up. I like option two. Yeah, sure. Go for it. So empathy, talent of empathy.

And you said that's D4? D4 for all the new talents. So did anybody change the dice that they rolled just now for the navigation and stuff? Oh, God. Yeah. Sure, let's just re-roll them. Let's just re-roll them.

Reset, hard reset. These things happen. These things happen in RPG games. So, yeah, so it was, we had charm, body with gadgetry, and then mind with counting talent. Okay, I rolled a seven out of an eight. Okay, good, so that's the highest? That's the, oh, and then I roll.

The flute as well, d6. Or d8 now, I think, actually. Yeah, I'm gonna guess that. Yeah, that's the highest. Okay. Still got a four. Still got a four? Still got a four.

What about Countess Pye? Countess Pye seems to have achieved a five for mind, and for the counting ability, actually an eight, out of eight. So that's the max? That is the max. So you get to roll a d10, the ten-sided dice. I would enjoy that, thank you. So if you get any higher.

Let's see if, oh, mother of... Easy! You gotta find the dice. Mother of Pearl. Who's this? Oh, I remember this guy, never mind. Mother of Celestia. Yeah?

Nope. No. That's 12. Oh, mother of this guy. It's that guy, yeah. Never used a d10 before. Seven. Seven, so seven, eight was Never used a d10 before. Seven. Seven, so seven, eight was the highest.

Eight was still the highest. Okay, with those checks, you guys make incredibly good time hiking through the mountains. You cut through the mountain passes. The only problem that you encounter is during the day, Lazuli reveals he's terribly afraid of heights, as you're making your way through the things. But with the moral support of Peaches, you encourage him enough that he has the bravery to make his way through.

I'm playing... I was going to say, a Chicago song is about air. And it's really inspirational. Yeah. He reaches up and goes, I'm so lovely, I just do it, I don't know what to say. And yeah, you guys make your way through the first day. With you accompanying in the background now, of course. Yeah, yeah.

And occasionally going, mad world. Peering up from a book, like, yeah. Yeah, for the second day, you guys are going to switch people in roles. Okay, who's going to take the roles this time? Whirly? Navigator! Okay. I will do the inspiration.

Moral support. Moral support. Okay, and then out of the three remaining, who wants to be the guide? I'll be guide. You're gonna go guide? I'll go guide. Okay, make those checks for me. So we have body for peaches. C10. Oh, no.

Charm for... Charm for navigator? Charm for, oh, your navigator, that's mind. Mind! That's my... And charm now for? Moral support. Moral support. Yes.

Can I use my studying and learning? I am going to read from my quadratology handbook. What are you reading? My quadratology handbook! Give us the lesson. Oh dear goodness gracious. Now you've done it. Now I've done it. Be the horse you want to be.

Control Ponywood with your mind. I don't know what they do. Make the check, Leia. Six. Can I use studying and learning along with it? Sure. Better come up with something to study and learn. Six. Okay, so did you get a maximum on the d6?

D6 max. Then you get to roll and see if you get any higher on a d8. On a d8? The exploding hoof. Okay. This is a three. Okay, so six is the highest. Okay.

Okay, so that was for moral support, and then we've got Guide with body. I rolled a five out of a six. Okay, so, and you moral support. And then we've got guide with body. I rolled a five out of a six. Okay, so... Can I also help? Oh, no, that wouldn't work. Because that's... Never mind.

I rolled a five. Yeah, that's it. You're just going to go straight with the body. Okay, nice. And then for navigation. So for mind, right? Like, I'm just... I'm going to...

You're trying to map out, like, the best course. Here's the thing. Like, is it daytime or nighttime? So I think for the second day, you're actually making your way along. I actually wrote down, like Here's the thing. Like, is it daytime or nighttime? So I think for the second day, you're actually making your way along. I actually wrote down like a little thing. On the second day, you're actually following a very fast-flowing river

that flows through the mountains that has lots of different branches. So you're trying to find the, you're trying to track the source. Yeah, but what time of the day? I mean, it's the whole day, so it would be like, you know. Do we do this at night?

You can do it at night if you want to. So if I was to use my mind to look at the stars to navigate to the other place in the world? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. You could basically wait until night time. Take that for your body test, Mark. Yeah, sure. It's still a mind, it's still a mind,

but you can roll your talent as well. Four. Four? Yeah. Okay. Out of four. It's the talent of aggro at some point. Oh, sorry.

If you've got the maximum dice, then you get to roll the D6. Very aggressive, okay, Jules? Very aggressive. Okay, guys, I'm Steve, right? We got Swallow, remember? So a four out of four, right? So you get to roll a d6 and see if you can get a d6.

I got my d6 right here. Yeah, so when you roll a maximum dice. I got a four, again. Okay, so four was the highest. Oh, watch this out, okay. Yeah, you make your way through the beautiful mountains, kind of the river winds its way through the mountains. This kind of fast-flowing river weaves its way through.

But, you know, with the navigation from Whirlypool, it waits until nighttime. Whirlypoo. I keep saying it. I keep saying the wrong words. I spent four years in poo school not to be called Whirlypoo, okay? Whirlypool. Aren't you the master of poo? Do you feel how contentious it is between us?

I just can't. I just can't. Hey, Marge, thanks for coming all the way out here, bud. It's okay. Thank you, Roger. Exactly! Sorry. How is this my fault, Liam?

With Whirlypoo's navigation at nighttime, you do manage to kind of make your way through taking these small valleys and dips and kind of keeping the stars in mind and making sure you're traveling in the right direction, not getting lost in all the different crags and gorges of the whole place. What did you get on the guide?

Five out of six. Five out of six? So yeah, so there's a couple of times where the way is blocked by large rocks that have slid down a landslide, What did you get on the guide, sorry, Ashley? Five out of six. Five out of six? So yeah, so there's a couple of times where the way is blocked by large rocks that have slid down in a landslide, you manage to push those out of the way, or use the leverage of a spear and leverage them in. Probably not gonna use the flute, I'm guessing.

No, I'm gonna save, I gotta save the flute. Yeah. I gotta save, make sure it doesn't get any bends or dents. Bro. But I'll use the spear to help move things. So you're kind of wedging it out of the way and you're rolling the rocks out of the way so you can make the path.

And then for Tomy, reading from his book, what did you get again, remind me? I rolled a six on a six. So the life lessons imparted by quadrology? Quadratology. Quadratology. I read up to the chapter for Equine Level 4. Okay.

Many of you probably don't really know what Tomi's talking about, but it sounds great. It sounds really nice and affirmative. Upbeat manner. Yeah. Positive attitude. Yeah. It sounds great.

And then you all feel a good vibe. As you get through the day, one, another thing, as you're making your way maybe late at night with Whirly's navigation, another earthquake erupts through the valley, causing loads of rocks to slide down behind you. And you can see more of these critters kind of patrolling around these rock dogs up on the the high ridges um right dogs right rock dogs yeah and and the earthquake was longer and and stronger this time like it actually kind of causes the mountains to shake um you can see more and more of these these rock dogs patrolling the upper ridges howling into the night um at the moon uh and last july kind of it like, I don't understand. These earthquakes, we've never had this sort of thing

going on in Gunderland before. How strange. Is there any way anybody has the power to find out if there is a force trying to stop us from going where we're going? Like if this is some kind of magic? Does anyone have that? You don't think that's possible, do you?

Why would somebody try to be stopping me from getting home? I can't possibly imagine, but some of those deep rot puppies. Is there anything important that you have to do as soon as you get home? Like maybe a bill that has to be signed or something along those lines? Any enemies? Enemies?

No, I'm beloved, I'm the Marquis, everyone loves me. This from the guy who stuffs a bear full of cupcakes, so I'm just saying, I don't know. But he wanted the cupcakes. I think we've already established he was a puppy kicker, right? What? No, really? It was just a question. This is slanderous, absolutely slanderous.

No, I can't think of anything that had any harm or there's no bills. I mean, I'm not really in charge. It's my father who is. As far as I know, he's just busy trying to dig up some big gemstone back home. What's the big gemstone all about? Oh, I don't know. I left a few weeks ago, but apparently the miners had discovered this large fire ruby deep down in one of the gorges nearby. And he was ecstatic over the moon,

over Princess Luna's moon he was. But you yourself said that the rock dogs don't like it when you take their big stones. Well, I don't think, hmm. Did you not mention, or maybe it was the PM that actually told us that? Right, that's a little out of the ordinary, such a big gem like those. We have a good relationship with these things that as long as we. That's a little out of the ordinary, such a big gem like yours.

We have a good relationship with these things and as long as we're picking out the little ones, the minors, as long as they leave the big ones alone. That's a good point. So your father, you have daddy issues. But surely these little fellas couldn't be causing such a big earthquake, could they?

They're little pint-sized things. Well, these might be puppies, which means that there's going to be bigger rock dogs. Ooh. That doesn't sound very good at all. If they're underground, it could be affecting fault lines and, you know. Yes, lines underground. Fault lines. Should we perhaps go venture underground and lurk? Well, we could certainly.

It'd be awfully scary out there and these earthquakes and these holes in the ground. What if we get stuck? We'd never get out. We'd be trapped alive. It's okay, it's okay. He starts freaking out, his eyes go wide. Do you have any sort of thing to calm him down?

Well, I do know some breathing techniques from... Like an injection? No, no, no. You're talking about my breathing is absolutely fine. No, just a little bit of Zen Buddhism, actually, is where I started, so just breathe with me, okay? Diglett's name, Booly. You, the Enya, start playing Enya on your flute. Do,, feel right, feel right.

Well, I definitely feel calmer, I feel a bit nauseated from where I am. Listen, I feel like we're almost there. Maybe we should get there, and maybe figure out what the problem is from there? You should speak to Father. If you think it might be attracting these creatures, we should speak to him.

We should go to the source. The Pegasus Knights could deal with these creatures. They'll be safe once we reach Gelderland. They're very talented. I always dreamed of being a knight when I was a little filly. Oh, very good. What happened? Well, you know, I'm the Marquess, I'm the Duke's son.

I'm supposed to take over ruling. And my cutie mark is of, you know, I'm supposed to, I'm the Marquis, I'm the Duke's son, I'm supposed to take over ruling, and my cutie mark is of, you know, I'm very good at delegation, I'm very good at handing out tasks to others, but I always dreamed of being in the jousts. It's a favorite little sport in Gelderland. Sounds like this cat system is a blessing and a curse. I don't know what you mean. Gelderland's marvelous. It's fantastic. As long as you're in the right. Right. is a blessing and a curse. I don't know what you mean. Gelderland's marvelous, it's fantastic. As long as you're in the right.

Right. You know, I'm sitting here. Spoiler alert. No, no, no, no. Everybody's happy. It's good to be you. No, no, everyone's happy in Gelderland. It could be you, maybe not.

Me corn. No, that's good. You're over, man. Well, think about it, Les. You spent time in Equestria. Yes. We seemed very happy there, right? Oh, you did, yes.

And we let anybody, you know, be at any level. You know, that's very sweet. It's very sweet how you, you know, everybody can do everything. It's very nice, you know. I thought that that was very sweet. But I think that maybe, well, I was always told that, you know, the earth ponies, they like working in the fields and the mud and the mines and things like that. We don't want to take that away from them.

When was the last time you asked one of them? Oh, well, I'm, well, they're not allowed up to the castle. You go to them. Have you ever met an earth pony before us? Well, I do have, well, yes, I have an earth pony friend of mine, actually, yes, he's marvelous. Thank you. Did your father run on the we're going to make

Gilderland great again port? Well, it was, his campaign was very much about, you know, more mining, more money. Yeah. Very good. Drain the Gilderland swamps, huh? There's no swamps in Gelderland. It's a euphemism.

Oh, I see. You should get that checked out immediately. Doctor ponies are very good. Make Gelderland great again. Well, unless you wish to keep it, there's still another day of travel before you reach the borders of Gelderland. Yeah, I'm good for traveling. Yeah? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, so Navigator, Guide, and Moral Support.

Who's going to take on the roles? So my Navigator's only D4, so if there's someone who's going to hire... So Moral Support is Charm, Navigator is Mind, navigator is mind. And guide is body. My mind is up to a d8, which seemed to be helpful in the first leg of the journey. I'll guide us through. I looked at an awful lot of maps in the reading I did about Gelderland,

Landlin. So guiding or navigating? Guiding. Guiding. So guide, navigator? And moral support. Moral support, okay. What are you guys gonna do for your, keeping things exciting and happy,

and how are you gonna navigate, and how are you gonna guide? Well, I read all about the topography here, and the landscape, and the flora and the fauna, so I can steer us away from anything that is potentially dangerous, and lead us down the correct path. Like a ranger, if you would.

Okay, perfect, so you're gonna kind of combine a little bit of physical athleticism with your studious, yeah, perfect, so yeah, you can roll, it'll be body plus your talent for study. Oh, good. And you're actually traveling through woods, there's a very dense mountainside forest that you're currently traveling through.

So avoiding flora and fauna is definitely gonna be a big part of it. Three for the body, and for my talent, six. Six, okay. All right, and then who wants to go next? So, for moral support, Trixie has used the TV parts and the phonograph parts to make little pony, like little robotic ponies of everybody in the party.

Aw. So, but with all the things they want to do. So with Whirlypoo, there's a little Whirlypoo that has really cool armor on, and these giant binoculars. Extendable ones, like you push a button, and it's like, there you go. Enhance!

Enhance! Computer, enhance! And for Peaches, with the phonograph parts, you twist the little cutie mark, and then it makes a little . Oh, yeah. A little music box, that's cute.

Thank you. And Toomey has a giant book and very distinguished demeanor, and looks like going like this. No. Yeah. To the max. Max around. Yeah. No. To the max.

Max around, yeah. And for Countess Pie, David. it looks like it's just normal, and then you have to put in numbers on the side, and then it just, the entire thing turns into numbers that you can count. And for Laz, it's him as a pegasus knight.

You made one for me? Well, you're one of our friends. You're part of the party. Earth ponies, Pegasus, and, you know, the ones I like. He is absolutely taken aback by that. Nobody's ever made a little gift for me before. I mean, I've had many presents from Father,

but I've never had one from another pony before. This is marvelous. I'm going to treasure this. Thank you, Trixie. Oh, that's marvelous. Oh, oh, isn't this lovely? All traveling together. Oh, yes, very good.

Oh, I can't wait to get back now. I'll take you to all my favorite spots. We'll go see a joust together. Oh, it'll be fantastic. Are we allowed to go to these spots? I will make sure that you're allowed. Well, they can't deny me. I'm the Marquis.

Whoever I want to bring with me, I can bring with me. How about that? What would Father say? Well, that's very true. Maybe, well, we'll just, I'll make, I'll pay everyone so they don't tell Father. Yes, yes, I'll use my money to pay them to not tell Father, yes.

What did, what? Well? Well, he'd be very cross. Perhaps he might be cross, but. Sometimes you have to do things that you might not want to do, but it turns out better in the end. Why would you, on Earth, would you, why on Equestria would you ever want to do something

you don't want to do? Well, you don't want to confront and talk to your dad, but. Absolutely not. If you don't, then maybe he would be angry at Earth Ponies wanting to go to the jousting also. That's why we won't let him find out. But then nothing ever changes. Oh, I suppose you're right.

He gets quiet and starts thinking a little bit as you make your way through the forest. I'd like to navigate just a tiny bit. Let's get the numbers. It was a one and a two. So I'm gonna use them. I'm gonna spend my friendship token to allow you to reroll it,

because that was definitely great for Laz. Yeah, that was definitely great. So you can reroll it, or if somebody wants to chip in another one, you can roll it with a bow. Well, if you spend three, it's just a success. Oh, that's great. Success.

Yeah, so you're gonna spend three? Pass this back to me. It doesn't really, you all spend three, it's just a success. Oh, that's great. Success? Yeah, so you're going to spend three? Okay. It doesn't really, you all share them, so. All right. That was definitely not a fluke. Definitely not. I'm really skilled. 18 dexterity over here.

Fantastic. Yeah, well, with the success, yeah, it's just, I'm not going to have you, like, well, tell us what you're going to do to navigate, with the success, yeah, it's just, I'm not going to have you, like, well, tell us what you're going to do to navigate, but the journey goes without problem. Oh, I just wanted everyone to know that I've counted every single tree in the entire forest, and I was able to map out perfectly the exact way to get through the trees so that you don't touch any pony ivy on the sides, and no pony oak on the sides, and no Pony Oak on the sides,

and we just get through very swiftly. So I like the idea that you've counted every single tree, and in your mind there's like a UI-overlaid map of optimal kind of like par thing. Numbers. Yeah, exactly. Matrix. Yeah, it's kind of like spiraling around.

That's great. Yeah, and with the friendship tokens, you don't need to roll because you're just going to succeed at this task because you're working together. And I think also, Laz will actually be like, why don't you let me take the bags for a little bit?

He's like, he'll take his bags. Yeah, he's going to take the bags for a little bit. That's like his contribution to the team to help making it. The hoof you say. The hoof you say. I can't believe you laughed at that It was awful I think Liam's laughed at every pun

just because It was more of a dead inside kind of laugh That's all I can hope for Liam So this is what rock bottom looks like That's a very Matt Mercer thing to do I feel like He does the You exit through the forest On the side of the mountains

And stretching before you On the other side of this thick mountain range That you've been traveling through for three days You see a very beautiful landscape Rolling grassy hills and stretching before you on the other side of this thick mountain range that you've been traveling through for three days, you see a very beautiful landscape. Rolling grassy hills, slow, meandering, perfect rivers, big open farms full of wheat fields and stacks of corn stretching out for miles. And as you begin hitting the traveling roads,

you see signposts pointing towards Zirconia, and you begin making your way um as you begin to see the other ponies of the area though you notice that there is a considerable change in dress uh they many of the ponies wear kind of very loose uh surcoats around them kind of like traditional like uh you know like you see on horses like medieval horses like the colored kind of like uh coat around them um The earth ponies, the ones are made from hemp and look quite tattered and stained with mud or dirt and things like that. The pegasi that you see are all armored. They all wear armor and they carry these lances kind of hooked into their hooves as well. And they kind of patrol the skies in these groups of knights.

And you don't actually see any unicorns on the roads. You just don't encounter any. You only see the other ponies. But the knights will have this very beautiful heraldry and bright colors on their coats as well. And each one seems to be individualized. And they have these same kind of marks of heraldry around. So indicating some sort of loyalty to a certain lord or lady pony that they happen to serve. Do they see us?

Yeah, I think the earth ponies, whenever you pass an earth pony, if they're traveling on the road, as soon as they see the three unicorns and Lajulai, they're immediately bowing like, Good day, my lords. Welcome. Safe travels on the road. Nod their heads, pass, and then they turn to the others like, Hey, buddy. You two be safe out there. Nod their heads, kind of pass, and then they turn to the others like, Hey, buddy. You should be safe out there. Oh, thank you very much, friends.

You're equestrian ponies, right? Yeah. Yes, you certainly are. For sure. Oh, my lady. And he, like, bobs his head. Oh, there's no need for that. Did you lose something on the ground?

No, no, no. I'm just showing me respect, Mom. Forgive me. Unicorns around here, they tend to be lords and ladies. We need to show the proper respect for your magical powers. Well, if you don't mind, I would like to show you respect as well. He freezes up, he looks around. You killed him! He'll be fine.

Thank you, milady, but I need to go. Have a great day! Don't work too hard! Yeah! He trots off. And when the knights see you, there's a couple, they fly down there's about three of these knights one of them is a

she's a pegasus with kind of a white body, flowing pink mane her cutie mark is actually of a lance covered in like a spiral of flowers like kind of flowers winding around the lance and she kind of lands down her armor kind of chinking and she's like

ah, you must you must be the escort from Equestria, I assume, bringing back the Marquis? Yep, we are indeed. That's us! What's your name, m'lady? Oh, no, no, please, it's Sir Meadowbreeze. I'm a knight of the Breeze lands. I don't really know if Whirly and I should be doing any talking around here.

You're from Equestria. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where everyone is equal. So Meadow Breeze, these are my friends. They will be accompanying me to Zirconia. I would ask would you be escorting us along the way? Well, I would, my lord, but there have been a lot of spotting of creatures, rock creatures. The rock dogs

have been acting up of late, so myself and many of the other knights have been patrolling. I do believe that your father's eagerly awaiting you to return. He's very excited that the Fire Ruby has been unearthed and is intending to holster Joust in its honor. Obviously, some of us haven't been invited to Joust, unfortunately, but there will be many fine champions around.

Well, hey, so we saw some of those. Hi. We saw some of those rock dogs out there on our travels. Oh, you did? But also earthquakes. What was that about? Was that from the mining and the fire ruby? Earth ruby? Dynamite?

Fire ruby? Fire ruby? Fire earth ruby. And have there been any earthquakes here at home? There have been some seismic disturbances around the area, but the official word is that, of course, these are passing trouble. Fake news.

What? Mm-hmm. There is. Did you see what happened after you guys found this fire ruby? The timing of which is supposed to be inconsequential, but yes, the earthquakes did begin afterwards. After the fire ruby was excavated.

Indeed, indeed. What weird time. I could not possibly speak, and she's looking at Lazuli as she's speaking, who is just like, yes, it is awfully inconvenient, isn't it? I mean, imagine that. We unearthed the ruby, and these earthquakes begin. How very strange.

So do we, I mean, as friends, Laz. Yes? Pony to pony. I've never been called Laz by an earth pony before, but yes, whirly. Can I call you Whirl? Call me Dubs. Dubs? Call me Dubs. Dubs.

Warts and Ws. I like it. Dubs. Youubs? Call me Dubs. Dubs. It's a W, it's Dubs. I like it, Dubs. You're getting on the level here. Dubs. Dubs and Laz. It's quite possible that your dad Yes? is causing these earthquakes.

He's just a unicorn, he can't cause earthquakes. Because he wants to get that fire ruby and as soon as he got it, he's angered all these rock dogs and it's possible that they're helping control the earthquakes to some degree. You think? You think that they're controlling the earthquakes? It's possible. A lot of evidence points towards

it, Laz. Maybe we should go speak to the Duke. Yes. You should speak to my father about it and inform him of this, what you've learned. I agree. Why don you better come with us. I will come with you, but I am not very good at speaking to Papa.

He's very intimidating, and he's always, well, he's always not been, well, he's always said that I'm not very good at what I do, and that my dreams of being a knight are quite silly. That's ridiculous. You told us that you would like to be jousting someday, and there's going to be a big joust. I didn't hear your name called.

Perhaps we could advocate for you if you advocate for us. Well, I mean, I would love to joust, but it's really supposed to only be Pegasus that can, because it's, you know, it's up in the air. I can't fly. What if I hold you? Mm-hmm. I could be your wings.

Oh my god, I'm sure I could come up with something that would help you float. What could you be? You're the wind beneath my wings. Did you mean, peaches, really? Well, I can figure it out, I mean. Well, I don't think there's ever been a precedence, but well, if, hmm, we might, Really? Well, I can figure it out. I mean... Well, I don't think there's ever been a precedence, but...

Well, if... Hmm. We might... Maybe we need to disguise you somehow or something, or... Or perhaps, yes. We should speak to the historians, see if there's any sort of precedent for this thing in Gelderland before. I think we should make history today. Yes.

Yes, well... Oh. Well, well, Sir Meadowbreeze, you're quite... I've heard that you're quite the jouster, right? I mean, I've never learnt to joust before. I'll need some training. But would you be willing to train us, Medabreeze? She's like, well, I am forbidden from jousting by my lord.

He seems to be out of favour with Dirk Zircon, so if I can help you joust Marquis, then perhaps that's something I can do. Maybe you could carry him, or maybe some sort of jetpack. I could do something to help him float and propel him forward. Well, perhaps if you could make something to help me fly,

and then Peaches, you can teach me about flight, and then so Menno Breeze can teach me about jousting. Well, maybe, maybe I could do it. Oh, I've always dreamed of it. I feel a training montage coming on. Should we do it before we arrive in the city? I mean, there's still a few hours before, before I'm expected to arrive.

What if we get you prepped and ready to go to impress Papa? Do you think, do you think? It could be part of the conversation. You could show him what you've learned in Equestria. Yes, yes, that's why I was sent there, you know, to be a bit of a diplomat, to learn a few things. Oh, marvelous, yes, I think this is a spoofing idea.

Jolly good. I'm in. Well, why don't we go first? Well, what do we do, yes? Let's teach this kid how to fly, how to become a knight. Yay! Hoops in! Hoops in!

We jump and freeze frame. Yeah! Yeah! So yeah, how are you going to teach Lance to joust and fly, how is this going to work? Head to the castle. They have to have a private courtyard somewhere that we could utilize.

Yeah, if you want to do that, you can head there. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, do you need any kind of laboratory, or are you good on the go? Well, it would help me out a lot. Do you have any kind of workshops, laboratories in the castle? Well, we have a few engineers, yes,

who make a few things, but most folks don't do it. But yes, we can do that. I have an idea. Yeah. I'm going to spin super fast. Right. I'm going to spread out all over the kingdom. I'm going to call for all the earth ponies to band together and build whatever you need to help train.

What? And then secretly, I'm going to say, you guys got to go on strike, so that we can get our seats in the arena. What was that? What? No. What dumb stuff? I didn't hear you. Dude, Laz, chill!

Okay, yes. No, but literally, I think you'll be very impressed, and your father will see what a great jouster you are, and he'll also be impressed with how much the Earth Ponies got together to help his own son out. Yes, yes. And maybe they'll get a chance to actually go to the show. Oh, yes, yes. Oh, we should definitely invite everybody.

We should invite absolutely everybody to come and watch the tournament. Totally. I'm praising. Oh, marvelous. Yay! What? You are mocking J.P. What? I don't know. All right, off we go. All right, let's find a private place in the castle to start working on that.

You do your workshop. Get all the earth ponies together and we'll build this guy a proper training facility. Okay. I'm going to talk to you to, I'm going to talk to you to, I'm going to talk to Laz about flight, how the weather works, you know, with your wings, wind, how to flap, how to move, groove, that whole thing.

I would like to do a little studying of the stats of the other jousters, so I can start to do a little mathematical finesse so that we can have you understand what your opponents are up to, and then you can just get in there and slay everyone. Oh, yes, yes. I can probably help with that.

I know all of the other knights. I know every knight in the kingdom. I'll point them out, the ones that are expected to be at Tawny. Oh, yes, certainly. Yes, we can do that. What about you, Tomy? What are you going to do?

Oh, well, I'm going to dig through all the books that I got on Gelderland and see if there's any precedent for non-Pegasi for jousting in the past to see if there's any loopholes that we can manage. Yes, absolutely, you should look it up at the Royal Library. We've got one in my castle, my father's castle. Oh. Yes, excellent, all right. A horse of every color.

All right. So you guys make your way and head off towards Zirconia, the capital of Gelderland. When you arrive, you begin to see more and more of the buildings. It starts off as kind of like little stone-thatched cottages, and then it builds up into this great walled city, very similar to Cancelot, these kind of beautiful buildings, elegant boutiques, lots and lots of jewelry stores, lots of places with this beautiful engraved jewelry covered

in gemstones. And you see that the unicorns here wear these flowing, the ladies dress in beautiful dresses with pointed kind of hats with silks. It's very Ren Faire, right? Like you've got like a very kind of Middle Ages England vibe going on. All the male ponies wear these surcoats they have uh you know spears like for the the pegasi knights and beautiful colors all in grade uh jewels are kind of wound into their manes and in their beards as they move around the city

itself outside of the city just as you're kind of making your way in you also see there is this huge gorge and there's all this scaffolding being built around as earth ponies mine and chip away and at the center of it you can see this huge ruby uh probably about the size of uh you know a 10 feet 12 feet tall ruby kind of sticking out of the ground and they're oh huge it's massive and they're slowly chipping it away and kind of crumbling the rock around it to kind of excavate it and unearth it. And you can see that there are lots of Pegasi knights kind of watching the earth ponies at work, making sure they're digging this out.

You look like you had a question. No, no, I'm just, I'm taken away by the storytelling and the size of the ruby. Right in the middle of the city. Yeah, it's in this gorge, which is just outside the city basically, and they're lifting it up out onto like a scaffolding, they're using

pulleys and ropes to hurl this huge ruby up onto this kind of wagon that they are leading into the center of the city itself It's a big ruby It's like the Ark of the Covenant Very Ark of the Covenant vibe, like pulling it up out of the earth and then loading it in,

and then the earth ponies begin dragging it away. As you are making your way through the city itself, just before you reach the castle, you hear a commotion, and you see a bunch of masked earth ponies with masks covering the front of their face and hoods. They smash their way out of the jewelry store like the window kind of like smashes and they've got tons and tons of necklaces and and crowns and rings spilling out of their saddlebags

and they are running for the mountains they're they're kind of scooting through the city they're being chased by pegasus knights um Stop! Thieves! Come back here! This bloody rebellion! And they're kind of calling out as the masked ponies are running. Go ahead. I throw a bunch of my gloober stoppers at them. At the thieves? At the thieves.

Great, yeah. She'll make a body because you're kind of throwing it with accuracy, and then the gadgets as well. So you can make a test with both of your talents there. Four and a four, but four on the body, so I'll roll a d6. Okay, yeah, so your body's your lowest, so yeah, you get to roll a d6.

Four! Okay, so four, four, and four. Okay, Ash, did you have something? So you're kind of like... Did the Pegasus run away, the night Pegasus, did a lot of them run away from the ruby? Yes, I think that... Is the ruby a bit vulnerable? Yeah, well, the earth ponies, the earth pony kind of miners are still pulling it towards the castle,

but the knights see this commotion, and they swerve off, chasing after the thieves. I'm going to start trotting alongside the ruby. Okay. You got a four, did you say, Markay, on the thing? So the earth ponies kind of turn to you, and one of them, who's got this kind of scar down the side of his face, kind of glares at you, sees you throwing the things in the ground,

and as he's running, he quickly grabs a table from a restaurant with his mouth and throws it so it lands on the goober stoppers. And he jumps on it and then jumps off. And as he passes, he's just like, you hear a sort of like, do the unicorns, don't try and stop us. And then he runs off and the gang kind of follow him behind. Well, I'm going to chuck my heaviest book, Titer Buns in 30 Days, at that main pony's head and see if I can't knock him out.

Sure, that's a body check, I think. I don't think you can really pull off studying because it's just throwing the book rather than using it. Yeah, it's just heaving a book. Okay. Five. So as you fling the book, you see him turn. He kind of falls into a roll on the side as the book sails past.

It lands in a unicorn pony's soup, and his monocle pops out, oh my goodness, as the soup splashes over. But the other pony kind of rolls over, and he looks over and he's like, mate, what do you think you're doing? Don't help them! And he starts running off again. No! For the last warfare!

For the last possible thing before they get out, I use my telekinesis to put one of my trackers on them. Sure, yeah, okay. So, yeah, body and telekinesis, I think. Because, again, it's like trying to... Oh, actually, no, it'd be mind, because it's a spell. So mind and telekinesis.

Tracker! Oh, eight. I got eight out of the... Okay, so you can roll it and see if you get higher. Okay, so eight. Yeah, this is going to be a flat difficulty. That eight. Eight.

Yeah, that didn't help. I think eight's going to be enough. I think, yeah, eight is extremely hard in trying to fling this tracker onto a very agile pony. You kind of flick with your horn and this little tiny bug. What does it look like? Do you have a particular how it looks? It looks like a little spider.

Yeah. So it catches onto his dull gray tail, and it just clamps onto his mane, and he doesn't seem to notice, and he runs off towards the mountains. The guards call after him, stop, stop, and they start chasing off. One of them does stop, and is like, oh, thank you for your assistance, visitors. It's very kind of you to try and stop these rebels who have been causing all sorts of trouble around the city. I am curious. Oh, my lady. Thank you.

And to you. What sort of trouble are you talking about? Sounds like they're trying to make a point about something. Do you have any idea what the point is? The only point they're trying to make is that, well, they don't feel that they're getting what they deserve. They've been stealing supplies, trying to take you, stealing gemstones,

trying to disrupt the guards and the unicorns. Well, do they have anything to begin with? Are they stealing because the people here aren't giving them enough? Well, of course they are, m'lady. I mean, Duke Zircon makes sure that everybody gets, you know, a fair share of what's earned appropriate to the work that they do. But some of these earth ponies, they feel that, you know, they deserve more than what they have.

And, you know, unlike the civilized folk where they've tried to petition for it, these thieves have done nothing but break the law and cause trouble. I'd very much like to speak with one of these thieves at some point. Oh, you shouldn't tangle with them, my lady. They've been known to do all sorts of things, throwing milkshakes over unicorns. Oh, that's delicious! All sorts of terrible. I don't mind that at all. At this point, the ruby's still kind of vulnerable.

Yeah, so you two have been plotting something while this has been going on. Yeah, because I'm thinking we've something while this has been going on. Yeah, because I'm thinking we gotta talk to some of these earth ponies. Yep. And say, maybe we buy a little bit of good faith gesture with the duke if we as the earth ponies, who are still working around this thing,

decide to just go take it back and put it back in the ground and stop all the earthquakes. Okay, that's what you guys want to try. What do you think? Is there an area where the ponies are taking the cart with the, like, that's a little bit darker, an alleyway that we can sort of? I think that they're taking it down the main street,

but there are alleyways alongside it, so you could try and divert it down. Like, you could try and cause something so they have to turn off. We could just trot alongside them and talk to them. That's what I'm thinking. All right, we'll each take a side and trot alongside. Okay.

So whilst the other three are dealing with these thieves and speaking to the guard, you begin trotting alongside these earth ponies who you look over. They look over to Whirlypoo and they're like, all right, mate. And then they look at you and like, oh, sure. Oh, oh, you don't have to do any of that.

Oh, you're not a knight? Uh. I'm guessing no. Well, of sorts. Oh. I dabble in a lot of things. Where I'm from, we're allowed to do whatever we want. Really?

Listen, we had some things that we wanted to discuss with you guys. Mm-hmm. You have some things you want to tell them? Guys! As an earth pony? Listen. Yeah?

I feel for you right now. Why? Because this isn't fair. What's not fair? This whole system that you guys are being oppressed by, it just doesn't work. I mean, look at me. My name's Whirlypoo. You look cool. That's not fair. This whole system that you guys are being oppressed by, it just doesn't work. I mean, look at me.

My name's Whirlypoo. You look cool. Thank you very much. Very cool. Yeah? Yeah. And where I'm from, everybody gets a fair chance, everybody gets a fair shake, and I want that for you as well.

So here's what we're thinking. What, you want me to come and move to where you're from? No, no. One day, but wait, where are you taking this thing? We're taking it up to the Duke's castle. He's going to have it mounted for the tournament grounds. It's great, he's inviting everyone to come and watch. Has the Duke been complaining about these earthquakes?

Is he kind of like messing up the stucco on his really nice place? No, no, he's had all the earth ponies making sure he gets repaired as soon as anything breaks. Exactly, but those earth ponies could be doing other things to help out everybody in the castle, right? Instead of just fixing his earthquake damage stuff. Do you know what his plan for the ruby is?

He's going to give it away to whoever wins the joust. He's going to be like a champion of the realm. Oh, are you? Whatever you mean. Of course, the duke's champion has won every year. He's won every tournament ever since. Who? The duke's champion. Do we know who the duke Champion has won every year. He's won every tournament ever since. Who? The Duke's Champion.

Do we know who the Duke's Champion is this year? Oh, I don't know, he picks it every year differently. He does, listen. Carry on. All right, I will. But we're going to see it any time you want to come to Equestria. Here's my number, I'll hook you up

with whoever you want to see, whatever you want to come to Equestria, here's my number. I'll hook you up with whoever you want to see, whatever you want to do, whatever you want to eat. Do you know that Princess one? We hear about her all the time. I do. Really? Yep. Oh, wow.

She's one of my pretty good friends. Really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. You must be a famous Pegas yeah. That's pretty good friends. You must be a famous Pegasus. I'm pretty famous. Wow!

You know, I'm pretty famous. I play music, I tour. I've played cafes here, actually. She opened up for Boston. I opened up for Boston. I don't know who they are, but that sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty great, but you know what?

I'm sure we'll see you guys here pretty soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man, me and Doug, we'll come and see you. Isn't that right, Doug? Please. Yeah, man. That's right. Got a place for you to stay, everything. Is that an earth pony named Doug?

Doug. Yeah, Doug. Doug. Doug. I'm Dig, that's Doug. That's Doug. Dig and Doug. Yeah. What's your name? Rurly Poo. It's got poo in it. It does!

I don't know, man, if you find it, you're the only one who got it. These are the types of things you can do in Equestria. You can have a name like Rurly Poo. That's great. Do you not chuckle every time he says the name Duke? That's funny. Don't get it.

I don't either. All right. I don't know what's going for us. Bye, then! Bye! Say bye, Doug. Bye. You should say bye, Doug.

They just trot off towards the castle. Let's see. You guys sink back up. Yeah. Laz is giving a statement to the knights. It was terrible. I saw those ponies jump through the window with dashing off with a sinister look in their eye.

But, but, my great friends from Equestria were quick to leap to the kingdom of Gondolin's defense. And he begins regaling all those who can hear the story of the three of you desperately trying to assist. Yeah, yeah, we're a pretty cracked team from Equestria. who can hear the story of the three of you desperately trying to assist. Yeah, yeah, we're a pretty crack team from Equestria. We get shit done. They've been escorting me here. They're very brave ponies, you know.

I'm privileged to have them with me as well. Are we done? We should leave before those brigands come back. Oh, is that what you're worried about? Well, let's go. What's the matter? So, listen, we learned some things. We talked to the Amazing Earth ponies, Digg and Dugg. They were taking the ruby,

and whoever wins the tournament wins the fire ruby. Well, Laz could win the tournament. So Laz, you could win the fire ruby. Well, Laz could win the tournament. So Laz, you could win the fire ruby. Yes, and then, you know what? We could put it back and I will stop the earthquakes, if you think that that's what's causing them. But then I could also, we could maybe, technically I could bequeath it to the earth ponies,

as a statement, like a, yes, we're all friends, like I'm going to give this to them and they should get a share of something, or something like that, maybe, yes. The winner of the tournament gets this kind of latitude? Well, I think so, well, I think it's more of a case of, you know, if the ruby comes to me, I can do what I want with it, can't I? Like, it's like, I'd own it, so.

I think so. Yes, we could just put it back in the ground, but maybe we could make a garden around it, and it'll be a Marquis Lazuli's garden for earth ponies or something. And then it could be shared for everyone? Yes, marvelous. But never taken out of the ground again.

Yes, yes, we'll make that, we'll have guards so it doesn't get taken. Yeah, you put it on a plaque, that'll take care of it. Who wouldn't do what a plaque says? That's what I say. You know who? Brigands. Oh, that's true. Well, maybe a good faith gesture like this would change the brigands' minds.

I think you're right. I think you're right. I think that it's like you said. Things are done differently here than they are in Equestria. We should bring some Equestrian know-how to Gelderland. Hear, hear! Yay! You seem conflicted. Yeah, because it sounds like you're just trying

to stick all the earth ponies in one other part of the land. No, no, you know, to go and visit and look at, oh, it's nice, isn't it lovely? Isn't it for everyone? Okay. That's what I thought, but it's like a park for the earth ponies. No, no, I meant in name. That's what I thought, but he was like, you know, it's like a park for the earth pony. I don't know, I've been like in the name. Let's keep an eye on all of them over here

in this little park that they're building for him. One trot at a time, little steps. We still have to get to training, and I still have to build a, let's not put the joust before the horse here. Should we go talk to your dad? You should train first. We should train first. We want him to be able to show how wonderful he is first.

He doesn't need to know I'm back right away. Maybe I've got important business I need to take care of. Let's go sequester ourselves off somewhere. Let's do it. Get you in a tournament shape. Yes, well, if we could go to the Tawny Grounds, if they're still preparing for the tournament, they should be fairly quiet.

Let's do it. You can practice in the environment that you'll be. Yay! Now, do you all know how a joust works? It's clapping. Not when you do it in advance! I've been to a lot of run fairs. Yes, so you understand the rules of joust.

I've seen Maid of Thrones. All right, good, okay. What about the rest of you, you all understand the rules of Joust? I've seen Maid of Thrones. All right, good, okay. What about the rest of you, you all understand the rules? I spend a lot of time indoors, but I think I get the gist of it. All right, so it's very- The gist of the Joust? The gist of the Joust!

Oh, you're all so funny, I love it. Oh, what friends. Well, it's very simple tricks here, all right? So it's the best of three lances. Both pegs start at opposite ends of the run, and then as you hurtle down, you are attempting to strike the other pony and either send them plummeting to the ground

or to break lances on their shield or armor. Nobody gets hurt in this scenario. No, the lances are made of wood that breaks very easily. I mean, you need to be sturdy and tough. You know easily. I mean, you need to be sturdy and tough. You know, it's not, you need to be sturdy and strong, like a true knight. We always give you one that would hurt someone. No, no, I wouldn't want to do that.

No, these are fine, noble champions. Okay. I mean, I, oh, I'd never thought of that before. You don't think somebody would try and do that to somebody else, do you? Well, no, I'd like to think that.. You don't think somebody would try and do that to somebody else, do you? Well, no, I wouldn't think that. I mean, if I thought of it. Well, anyway.

It's okay. It's something we should consider. Here it's more of a martial art with an emphasis on the art. Do I understand? Yes, it's a show of honor and sportsmanship to determine who is sturdy and strong of heart and brave and true. That's why I've always wanted to be a knight. I think that's the best thing you can be, isn't it?

Well, let's quit horsing around and get to work. Yes. Well, so you know, it's best of three lances. Best of three lances. You get one point for breaking a lance on a pony's shield. One point. One point for breaking a lance on a pony's shield. You get two points for breaking a lance on a pony's body, on their barding.

Okay. And if you knock a pony out of the air, you win automatically. And you get a share of their land's gemstones for a year. Wow. So it's very, very... So the lords and ladies, the other unicorns, will only send their best knights to a joust like this. Makes sense. There's a lot on the line. Okay, I'm going to need the workshop. It's all right. I've got lots of gems to spare.

Let's get you in shape. I've got a bunch of my heavy books in an old-timey school, because you used to carry them in a belt, right? And I hand these over to Laz. You can start pumping pages. Pumping pages, I like it. The little bits of armor that I've got. Oh yes! Montage!

So we see the montage built around. I give you my armor. So okay, so we'll go around and you can all describe how you're going to help Laz in his training montage and what you're doing to build him up. And for every success, we'll give him a bonus when he comes to do the joust, when he starts jousting.

Because we'll assume that Trixie has enough time to build some sort of flying machine. How well it works, we'll make some checks for. But he'll definitely have some ability to fly. But now it's going to determine how well you train him. So we're going to start with Tomy, who's going to give him the books and help him train. Right, so I'm going to have him, I'm going to

toughen him up. So he's going to lift, and I have another book, and I'm going to hit him right in his flank until he doesn't react anymore. Okay. Because he's hard as stone. Okay. So I guess this would be a use of body and your books

because you're picking out the heaviest books for him to lift. Sure. Sure. Study. I'll give it to you. Thank you. It's a one shot. A five and then for study, a six. Okay, let me write these down so we can

kind of get a list. So we had a six. You. Let me write these down so we can kind of get like a list So you had a six in the game Alright, let's go. Let's do it again. Come on. He's like lifting the books as he goes. He runs up some steps, drinks rum. Look at him! I'm ready! So, that was Tomy's little segment. We see a clip of that. Candice Pye, do you have something? Or just, yeah, feel free to jump in if somebody has an idea. Well, as

I said before, I've been studying all of your opponents. Yes. And I have a way for you to understand when another opponent is coming at you, and you can block it appropriately, or turn because of the angle. So you're gonna watch their, you're gonna kind of study the other knights

and figure out their weaknesses and things using the power of math. Okay, mind, and then your counting talent, I think. Okay. Mind is a seven. And counting talent is a five. Okay, so the seven's gonna be the highest one there. Okay, anybody else?

Yeah. Okay, go on. All the little bits of armor that I had left, I'm gonna give it to them, okay? It's heavy duty armor, remember that. Yeah, it's heavy body. Heavy armor, and then I'm to give him the binoculars. Okay. So that as they're squaring off from far away, he can see over it. It's like a poker tell.

Okay. He can already see, like, oh, this guy favors his left side. That means with all the angular math data that I'm getting, and with all the kidney punches I've been taking. Hard learning. Hard learning. I'm going to be able to, right off the bat, know, been taking. Hard learning. Hard learning. I'm going to be able to, like, right off the bat, know, like, okay, that's that guy's weakness. It's going to be like a whole iron pony thing.

Yeah. So you're going to help, Trixie's going to help build, like, a helmet with the binoculars built in. Robot pony. Okay. But you're going to give him the armor. Yep.

And the binoculars. Okay, so I'm not going to have you roll, but I'm going to just give him a flat bonus because you're giving something, you're giving your thing that you love, your binoculars away. You're going to give them to him. So we're not going to have you roll, but I'm going to just give him a flat bonus because you're giving your thing that you love, your binoculars, away. You're going to give them to him. So we're not going to have you roll. So there's a crappy idea,

and I don't get to roll for it. No, that's not true. You only roll when there's a chance you might fail at something. You can't fail at giving something to him. So I'm just going to make a note, and we'll give probably, when Trixie comes to build her suit,

we'll give Trixie Gadgets a bonus. Okay, cool. Yeah, because you're giving up your things to help make it, so we'll give Trixie a bonus. I'm fine! Fine! Peaches, do you have an idea? Well, I was going to wait to help.

Ponybrow? Dude. Once Trixie gets the wings on him, I'm going to show him how to get in flight. Okay, perfect. so do you wanna build some sort of flying machine? Yes. Do you have an idea of how you're gonna do it? It has to be in three parts.

It has to be the part that connects to Lass, there has to be the floating mechanism, and then there has to be a decorative aspect for it because he is the son of the Duke. Okay. The Duke. Okay, sure, so let's do three rolls then. So the mechanism that kind of just, like, is attached to his body is less of a gadget.

It's probably going to be more of the engineering because it's, like, actually just kind of making a harness for him as opposed to, like, invention. So we'll do, like, an engineering plus mind for that one. Engineering plus mind? Yeah, and then we'll have his iron pony suit. Okay. He's such a whiz.

Uh, five. Okay, five. Okay, good to know. And then four. Okay, so when you're going to actually make the mechanism to help it fly and incorporate the binoculars so he's got an easier time, upgrade your gadgets by one dice size.

So just for this one roll, thanks to Whirlypoo. See, it was good. It was great. At least I can do. No. Yeah! Up top, up top. Come on.

Okay, so that'll be Invent's gadgets and mine again? And mine, yes, absolutely. You're using your. Thank you so much for not leaving me hanging because I deserve to be left hanging there. Oh, eight. I got an eight on the eight. Yep, you can roll and see if you get...

Roll a 10. See if you get any higher. No, that was a three. Okay, so eight. That's really good, though. And then the last one is the decorative element. Right. So I think this is...

You're going to use your charm here, but you're still going to use your invention gadget. Is there a way? I could do my telekinesis for this. How are you going to use it? The telekinesis because I'm magic. So I've already made the

frame work with everything. I have to put these very thinly sliced gemstones into the decorative aspects to set it. There you go. So you can roll telekinesis then, sure? Telekinesis. I'm convinced.

So yeah, so charm and telekinesis. Okay. Because the charm is like the, you know, knowing how to make it look good. You know, it's kind of like, you know, knowing beauty and everything else. What is going to be stylish? Three.

Three's the highest? I spend a lot of time by myself. I'm going to re-roll. You're going to spend it? Yeah. Okay, yeah. So's the highest? I spend a lot of time by myself. I'm going to reroll. You're going to spend it? Yeah. Okay, yeah, so throw that this way. Oh, that was excellent. That was kind of amazing, actually.

That was the best throw ever. Noemis. Six. Yes. Six. Okay. So, do I do a exploding hook on that one? Oh, is it the highest?

Yeah, absolutely. If it's the highest dice, yeah. Yes. Okay. So, d8. d8. See if you get the highest? Yeah, absolutely. If it's the highest dice, yeah. Yes. Okay. So D8. Eight. See if you get any higher. Seven.

Seven. Yes. Even better. Okay. Okay. So what does this suit, like, finally look like? Is it like a harness around his waist? What's the flotation device like?

Okay. So it is like a cradle. Okay. So it's like this mesh that goes over all of his body because it gets out of the way of the spear and the josting. The flotation device itself is that it uses a gravitational pull to push him away from the earth. Okay.

But it is calibrated to not give him any advantages more than other Pegasus have. So it's not like he's super turbo powered. It's that he has the same amount as anybody else. Unless. That's the definition of equity. It's actually just pushing up to that level. Yeah, so he can.

I love it. Yeah, and that adjusts just with him doing his hooves to get to the level that he wants to do. A queen, yeah. A queen. All right. And then the style, as you said, thinly sliced gemstones kind of pattern around it.

Yeah, so it's kind of like, yeah, pattern around it and a little bit of a cape thing because he is a son of a duke. Okay. Duke. Okay. All right. Okay.

Look. I don't know. If that was me, I was just making notes. I definitely wasn't disappointed. It's just Liam's being judgmental. Oh, Liam's being judgmental. Liam, you make puns. Are you not edutain? Are you not edutain? More horse puns, the better. So, from a shed attached to the stable grounds, the tournament grounds,

you hear kind of whirling and clanking and banging and explosions. And then the doors burst open and there is a kind of puff of steam and smoke and in this kind of like metal mesh suit made from armor, yeah, like this kind of... gleaming his kind of silver mane flowing behind him his pale blue kind of body still showing through

on parts of it emerges this kind of robo pony jousting machine with these kind of like gizmos and gadgets all over him the visor has got the binoculars and they kind of zoom out a little bit. And he comes up.

So how do I look? Wow! Yes, it looks good! It looks amazing! Y'all look fantastic! That is great work, Trixie. Thank you! This is the best thing I've ever invented!

This is incredible, Trixie! If Celestia won't have you as a gadget maker in the courts, certainly we'll have you here in Gelderland. This is incredible. Wow! Job offer! This is incredible. I don't know what to say, friends. Without all of you, I never thought I'd have a chance

to joust and fly and participate in a tourney like this. I couldn't have done this without all of you. We're going to make this happen and it will be a night like no other. Yes. Wow. It will. I think the tournament's That's the name of my high school prom night.

Oh, I think the tournament is during the day though, Tomy. It's not as night. Oh, well. Maybe Kate and I, G-H-T. There goes my pine. That's what it was. Oh, nice!

Yes, good night, everyone! Oh! Wonderful. So much less funny if you have to explain it. Those are the best jokes. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. No, it's fine, friends explain jokes to each other all the time.

Yes, very good! Spiffing! And he's like, right, well, I guess now I need to practice flying, don't I? Let's do it. All right, okay. And is there a certain way that he activates his flight, or does he just kind of like... He's literally just pushing up from the ground, and then just keep doing this. All right.

Until you get to the level that you want. Okay, here we go. Yeah! And he kind of pushes up, and he's like, I'm doing it! And I'm... Whoa! And he kind of spins around a little bit, and he has to reorientate himself and spin around. it, I'm, whoa, and he spins around a little bit and he has to reorientate himself and spin around.

Fly around him beside him and help him out a little bit. Okay, yeah, so he's like, oh, thank you, peaches, thank you, right. You're getting it, you're getting it. Oh, I forgot my lance, hang on. And he goes back down and he uses his telekinesis to pick up one of these training lances and he holds that and a shield and he's like, right, okay.

I'm gonna have my spear. Oh right, yes, I should block your strike. I'm gonna help you practice with that, because now that that's another talent is my spear, I'm gonna help you learn how to fly. About being able to see, perceive ahead of time where she might be going. I'm going to watch very carefully.

Right, you go to the far end, and I'll go to this end. He wobbles his way over, and he gets in position. The amateurish flute sounds of Eye of the Tiger start watching across the view. Just the occasional duff note. You're really good with that, to me. He floats up into position. He's like, all right, peaches, come at me. Come at me, and he's got his shield ready, peaches, come at me. Come at me.

And he's got his shield ready. Start flying towards him. Okay. Here we go. But I have the spear at the butt end. Okay, so you can use the flat end. So you're going to make the body. And I guess you're using both flying and the spear.

So roll both talents, I guess. Like, yeah, this is kind of perfect for you. This is a great setup. Ooh. I rolled a two on my d6 and then a d4, one on the d4. Okay. And what about the, is it body or flying? Is it the other d6?

Body, oh, flying. That should be d6, I think, for Pegasus. That is. So see what you get. Ooh, I rolled a six. Six, so see if that's the highest. So roll a d8, see think, for Pegasus. That is. So see what you get. Ooh, I rolled a six. Six, so see if you, that's the highest, so roll a d8, see if you get any higher. Okay.

Get the exploding hoof. Ooh! Eight! I'll roll the knight. Roll a d10. Yes! Exploding hoof! So this is, and it keeps getting bigger

and bigger and bigger, so if you roll a d10, it goes to a d12, if you get a 12, it goes to a d10. Roll a d10. Roll a d10. All right. I rolled a 10. Let her ride. I rolled a 10. 10! Roll a d12.

Roll a d12, man. Come on, Johnson. Seven. What was that? Faven. Seven. So the 10 is the highest. 10 is the highest.

So you come speeding towards him, and this is like just multiple attempts, right? You may not know how to joust, but you know how to fly, and that's the thing he needs to learn the most. He knows jousting. He's watched it. So you tailor the training for that. You hit him, but you constantly try to

knock him off balance until he gets better at righting himself, and then you swap and you have him charge you, and you'll dodge out of the way so he misses, but then he keeps repeating it, repeating it, repeating it until he's accurately coming down, and he can fly in a straight line, he can strike, and then he can

return and spin around. He's nailed it. He's got it down 100%. You're doing fantastic! You're doing so great! Countess, thank you, yes. I couldn't have, this is fantastic. I feel ready. I feel pumped.

I'm a knight. I'm a warrior. I'm going to rule the world! I'm going to be really good to other people and make a great time of everything. That one's better. Talk to your father! No, absolutely not. No, I'm going to go hide in the shed now.

He floats down. I would like to use my power of empathy to try to connect with Lord Laz here, to try to get him to reconsider. Charm and deform, what are you going to say to him? Great. Right now or roll first? You can say now.

Okay. Lord Laz, I certainly understand that you have never stood up to your father before, and that is understandable because y'all have such a system here, a hierarchy. But you have your own power, and now you have the power of all our friendship. And I believe you have family in your friends. And we'd be happy to help you talk to your father. We believe that your father will see how wonderful you are. And you'll be able to put the ruby back in the ground.

And then all the crazy bad, bad things will stop happening. And then the earth will stop, the non-earth will stop shaking. And everything will be better. And then gadgets over here will have gadgets and everything will be happy. You gotta be in it to win it. What he said. You gotta shake it to break it.

You gotta flounce it to pounce it. Five for charm. Can you come up with any more? They're very helpful. So it's a five? Five for charm, oh and then empathy's actually the default. But remember, if you get the max, you get to roll an extra one. Okay, well, hold on. That's a three. Okay, so five was the default. Yeah, empathy is the default. But remember, if you get the max, you get to roll an extra one. Okay, well, hold on.

That's a three. Okay, so five was the highest? Yeah. Okay. Let me, I'm going to roll it against his mind to see if his fear is going to be stronger. So, he looks at, he's listening to Tomy, and then when you finish speaking, he's like,

you're right, you're right, Pi. It's time that I go and face him, and I'm going to tell him that I'm jousting, and that I've made wonderful friends in Equestria, of all pony types, and that it's time for him to acknowledge me as the stallion that I am. Let's go. Let's do it now. Come on,

come with me. I'm in. Time to strike. You begin making your way towards the castle. And you can see it's far more utilitarian. It's this bleak kind of stone gray parapets with Pegasine Knights patrolling them. A big angry drawbridge. And you can see gems have been encrusted into the walls. It's ostentatious but also a little bit intimidating. It's kind of got this

big imposing tower rising high up into the air, and you can see the Pegasus Knights, as Marquis Lajulai approaches, they bow their heads and open the doors, and they go to stop the rest of you, and he's like, No! They're with me! They're coming with me to see my father.

Right? That's right! They're coming with me! Yes, they're coming with me to see my father. Right? That's right! Yes, yes, they're coming with me. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, they're coming with me. And the knights are like, Of course, my lord, if that's what you wish. On your way.

And you make your way through the castle, and it leads into a large, long corridor with a big red velvet carpet that runs all the way down to a throne. And sat on the throne is a very, he would have once been quite, you know, a bulky kind of like, you know, very strong looking unicorn,

but he has this big gut kind of like hanging out that actually touches the ground. And he's kind of got like really kind of greasy looking mane. He's got like a thin mustache over his lips and he's, he's hovering a big goblet of, of juice that he's like, very good. He's being fed.

And there's a, there's an earth pony there who stood there with a tray on his head and it's got like glasses and he's just looking very sad. And there are Pegasi nights on either side. And as, as you begin making your way down the uh the fellow at the end is like oh well my boy you've returned i see oh welcome welcome address the marquis lapis lazuli starbolt my son here he comes and uh some trumpeteer earth ponies appear from, like, side bits, and they kind of go... And he's like,

Ah, useless! Go on, clear off! So, how's Equestria, my boy? I hope they've not put any silly ideas in your head. Who would give them those ideas? What? What is this? What is this? You've brought some rabble with you. Rabble? No, we're

all part of the elite escort, the guard that brought your son here in the first place. Oh, forgive me, lady. What's your name? Trixie Gadgets. Lady Gadgets? Ah, my apologies. I didn't realize that you were sent by the princesses to escort my son.

What a strange little bunch to send. Did she not have enough pegasi to send with him? Oh, she had plenty, but she chose those of us who had the heart and the mind and the generosity and all the love in the world to be able to bring your son back to you in one piece. He kind of sneers and you hear from behind you, halfway down the corridor, Yes, father! They've come with me! Friends! Come, Lord Laz! Closer!

Laz, you've got this! He kind of trots up behind you and he's doing his best to stand straight. I quietly start playing the flute behind him, an inspirational tune. Give me a charm and flute roll. Sure. Can I support her? Sure, yeah, you guys can do what you want. You want to roll charm and flute as well? I'll do the harmony. Yeah.

I rolled a six out of an eight. Okay, and then your, is that just for the charm, or is that for flute? That's just for the charm, so let me roll the flute as well. What'd you get? Five. Yeah, roll your end. Charm is a three, and then a five for my amateur,

oh no, would I do a four for my new talent? Yes, a d4 for the new talent. Oh, so we'll say five for my amateur, oh no, would I do a four for my new talent? Yes, a d4 for the new talent. Oh, so we'll say five for the charm, and four for the. So, roll a d6, because exploding hoof. Explode further! Two. So four. Eight is five.

Eight and a five, wow, so with the eight, yeah, you kind of, what'd you play? I play that song. Mm-hmm. The Eye of the Tiger. Eye of the Tiger, I keep playing that. Which is really quietly. And as it builds, and you can see

Duke Zircon looking behind like, what's that noise? What's going on? And he's like, Theme music. Father, I have come back from Equestria, and I have met these wonderful equestrian ponies, who I've become close friends with, and they will not be spoken to in that regard. Not only that, but this tournament you are hosting, this gemstone, it doesn't belong here, it belongs in the ground. causing fractal plates, what was it? Earthquakes! Earthquakes!

Tectonic plates! The tectonic plots are broken, and you should put it back, and I'm going to win the joust. And he just looks for a moment, and that's final. Wow! That was amazing!

Yeah, you did it, buddy! Thanks, everybody! Very nicely done. Thank you. This is the most terrified I've ever been in my life. Yeah, your dad's going to kill you. Y'all have never been more attractive to me. You see, oh my.

His eyes spark a little, and you just hear a... You made friends! Well, that's marvelous. And you want to joust, my son? Well, of course. Of course. Obviously, you'd need to be able to fly to do that. I can fly.

I can fly right now. Show him, Laz. He gets about two feet off the ground. See? And he kind of hovers in the air for a second. What magic is this? What are you? see? And he kind of hovers in the air for a second. What magic is this? What are you? It's a mixture of magic and

gadgetry. Trixie Gadgets is my name and it's also part of my cutie mark. As you can see it's three gadgets spinning around. Yes, I see that. I see that you're questioning. But well, you're not

a knight you can't be in the joust he's like well my friend Tomey has been researching our history and you did find a precedent in the centuries past plus if you guys are running the show why can't

you make your own rules if If you're so powerful. I suppose, but I could just decree that he could joust. Fine, fine, fine. You can joust. You can joust. You're not going to win anyway. I'm certainly not going to have you as champion. You've barely jousted in your life before. No, no, no. Sir Topaz will be my champion and you'll get a scolding when you're done, boy.

What happens if he wins? If he does win, then I suppose that the Fire Ruby would go to him and he'd be proclaimed champion in front of all of Gilderland. Well, that's what's gonna happen. Well, we'll see about that, won't we?

We'll see about that, Sir Duke. We will, Duke! Trixie Gadgets. Wow. This is getting heated. This is getting, this is escalating. When is this tournament happening? It will happen tomorrow morning.

Okay. Well. Good. We will see you morning. Okay. Well. Good. We will see you there. Fine, we will. We're going. Good. We will definitely go. You should go. We're done here. We will go.

You are done. I'm going to eat first. No, good, leave. Just go then. We are leaving. This is my throne, you leave. This is your throne, we are leaving. We are leaving. Is there any food around on any platters or anything? Yeah, there's like the earth pony

who's just been standing there the whole time. He looks over and he's like, please help. I'm going to go over and I'm going to take the tray. Oh, thank you. We're famished, we're taking this with us. You're welcome for bringing your son home safely. Thank you for this food. Fine, I don't need it.

I've got plenty of food anyway. Go get me more food! Take one of the little pieces of food there and just give it to the earth pony who's been really hungry. Thank you, thank you. I'm so starving, he eats all of it. I'm really trying not to fling poo right now,

I'll be honest. Yeah! He was on the table the whole time! No, bad call, definitely not. Dubs, you're going to help me out here, man. Dude, Lash, your dad's a dick! You got to quit when you're ahead. I feel like we're riding on high.

We should help. Let's fight. We're going to win, we're going to win, we're going to be the best. Yeah, fine. We're going to be the best around. We need a team name. Oh. Team...

Ducanators. Team Ducanators. Team Ducanator. Team... Something with a question? Team Ducanators. Team Ducanators. Team Ducanator. Team Laz. Something with a question. Laz. Laz. Laz.

Team Laz. Team Laz. Team Laz. Team Pony. Team Laz Chance. Team Laz Chance. Team Laz Chance, let's move. Team Laz Chance.

Yay! Wrench of his magic, peace out! And you guys make your way out. I will have you given, you will have the finest quarters in the castle ready to prepare for tomorrow. Is that for you, Boney? Well, no, I will, no, you will have quarters as well. Dubs?

We have quarters for realsies? No, you'll have your own rooms. Really? Yes. All right. No, let's all bunk in my room. We can have a sleepover. Creepy.

I love sleepovers. Creepy. I love sleepovers. Sleepover, yay! Yay! I love sleepovers. I mean, Oscar. I mean, that's creepy. Okay.

I'm on top. Okay. So you retire for the evening. So any stamina you've taken, you can heal back up. You can have all your stamina. During the night, however, as Laz goes to gather food or something,

he leaves the room temporarily, probably claiming to go and fetch some drinks and some snacks for your sleepover, as well as blankets and things. There is a knock at the door. And we're all in bunkers. It's in Laz's princely quarters.

You can see that he has a table with a kind of fake battlefield with lots of little miniature ponies with lances and swords and shields and a lot of dice, and there's a collection of board games underneath it as well. And he has a big, large four-poster bed with a Game of... Mane of Thrones poster. I knew there was something I liked about this guy. Um, and yeah, there is a,

there is a knock at the door. Um, occupied! With these, um, we're, we're Laz's friends. He's not here. We're fine. How are you? Oh, that's all right. Uh, sorry, hang on. That's, uh, that's okay, friends. I'm just here to, I'm just here to speak.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, I'm here, I'm actually here to speak with all of you. What? What are you? Well, we should open the door, then, yeah. Break the door, yeah. Who are you? Hang on, I'm trying to get my voice as well.

I'm not as good as doing this on the fly, because I had a certain voice I wanted to do from. Who is the celebrity archetype? It's Sean Bean, he's played by. So it's like, oh, it's lovely to see you all. And you see this kind of older, grizzled, kind of dark brown pony. He has a beard speckled with gray, and he's wearing a surcoat, but a little bit better.

He's an earth pony, but his surcoat seems to be in a slightly better condition than most. And he glances around, and he pulls down a hood from around his mane and he's like, I'm so glad that I got to speak to you before the joust tomorrow. I was hoping that we could have a quiet moment. I've come to understand that you've become friends with the Marquis. Yeah, Laz. He's tight. Our buddy Laz. Totally. He's our friend.

You must forgive me. Gelderland has struggled with Duke Zircon for quite some time, and I expected his son to be somewhat similar. Are you saying that you've made friends with him? Oh, he's a good pony. He appears to have changed. It's good to hear. My name is Rocky Mountain.

I'm one of the... I'm a head miner down in the gorge. I've been working with several earth ponies and pegasus for some time. There's been some talk, people are becoming very unhappy with how things are being run in the kingdom. Rocky Mountain, are you high? I'm off top one more.

That's pretty good. I mean, I'm on the same ground as you. It's a thing in a question. Oh, my apologies, you're the same. If you were a question, you'd be laughing, I know. I'm sure I would. Are you guessing what an actor's a worker? The currency in our land is largely based

on musical puns and stuff, so. Ah, I see, I'm afraid there's no room for that sort of thing here, but it's lovely to have the foreign influence, if nothing else. What are they unhappy about? Like, what's the deal with like, Duke Zircon, why are we? Sorry.

One more, one more, you'll break them again, do it again, do it again. Duke Zircon? Why? Well, ever since he discovered that large fire ruby, he's been pushing the earth ponies to work harder and harder. Things have always been, we've been getting less and less shares

of the gemstones we dig up. Several years ago, it wasn't like this. We used to get a fair share of everything we found, but with the duke and several of his crony unicorns, they've been taking more and more. Crony-cornies? Did you come to us tonight so we would kill him? What?!

No. It does sound ominous. No, he needs to be made a lesson of. There are some in the rebellion. Oh lord, I just misunderstood him. Well, that would teach him a lesson. There are some ponies who would like to see all unicorns imprisoned in Gelderland, forced back into the mines like they were. But I don't believe that's the right way.

Yeah, that doesn't really help anything, you know, to stick your hoof in someone else's eye. They plan on doing something drastic during the tournament tomorrow. And I was hoping that maybe you could help me prevent that. What is it that they're planning? They intend on stealing the fire ruby and taking it to the far south to sell it and raise money to rival that of the unicorns. No, we have to put it back into the ground, otherwise the earthquakes won't stop.

You think that it's connected? Definitely, I mean, it's too much of a coincidence. Confirms what I believe as well. The rock dogs have become more aggressive. They've been attacking ponies throughout the mines. And there's something else, a deep rumbling in the dark. Not that kind of rumble. Something deep in the earth is stirring.

Any theories? Afraid not. There are some old legends, but I don't usually pay them much mind. Just for fun, could you tell us the legends? Just in case they're pertinent or something. Well, they say that before we came to this land, there were creatures that lived underground, the rock dogs.

But there's one that they call Master, a creature of rock and shadow and flame, the Baldog. Oh boy. The what dog? It's the Baldog. It's said to lurk deep, deep in the earth. That was awesome. There it is. But it's a myth. There's no way something like that

could stay dormant for so long. Until something giant got taken out of the ground. Possibly. So. Possibly. These earthquakes started happening after? We discovered the fire ruby a few weeks ago. We started excavating it, but when the duke saw it for himself, he ordered, he commanded that the earth ponies begin chipping away,

getting it out as quickly as we could. So we had to expand the mining operation drastically. Huge swathes of land have been carved up and dug out to get at it. They began the round then, but ever since we've excavated it fully, they've been getting worse, and the rock dogs have become much more aggravated. Almost like they're under a spell? A little, perhaps.

We just thought it might be because, you know, we've uncovered this, we've taken it away, we thought that they may just be protective of it, but if the legends of the bow dog are true, it might be that he's commanding them. And that ghast? You've got a lot of forces at play here. Yeah. So if we get that ruby back down to the Bal-Dog, you think he'll be a good dog? I don't know, honestly.

He'll be a good boy? I don't know, but I know that it's under heavy guard by the Duke, and he's not willing to let it out of his sight. Unless, of course, someone wins the joust. Well, this is what I wish to speak to you about. There are several Pegasists that I know who'd be willing to enter the joust on our behalf. Good, honorable knights that want to work with us.

If you think you could lend them your support. So you're not talking about throwing the joust, you're talking about bringing, can you speak again about what you're saying? Yes, of course. She forgets everything. That's fine. I have a few knights, Pegasists, that would be, if they were to win the tournament tomorrow, they'd ensure that the fire ruby goes back into the earth and we could appease the creatures

and hopefully stop the earthquakes. But so would Lord Laz. That's what Laz is saying, he's going to do two again. That's what we understand. That's what his plan is. We're already doing this. I would have been scared. If we have everyone who's involved in the joust, even, I'm not trying to.

It would mean a lot more if Lord Laz, if Marquis Laz was to win. That would send a great sign to the people. Maybe with the pegasus that you were going to offer, maybe they can help guard the ruby from, you know, other earth ponies that are trying to take it away. I mean, I assume they know each other.

If they know each other, they say like, hey, no, wait, give this a chance. Yes, I think Sir Meadow Breeze and her knights would definitely be willing to do that. Sounds like a win-win. All right. Win the tournament, change the country. Yes, thank you for your help, ponies.

Change the country, change the world. Change the world, Change the universe. No, I'm not going to translate that. Thank you, Equestrian ponies. This has been troubling our lands for a few years now. It's why we were hoping that Lord Laz would speak with Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight, and hoping to bring some of the culture of Equestria back to Gelderland. I know that you have things differently there. I think that would do wonders for Gelderland. I know that you have things differently there. I think that would do wonders for Gelderland's future.

So thank you. I'm glad that I came to speak with you, but you should be quiet and careful. Zircon has many eyes and ears around here. Do you know anything about earth ponies stealing jewelry and running off? I put a tracker on one and. Yes, that will be Gloomglow.

He's an earth pony miner that is very disenfranchised. He's the one who's asking for the unicorns to be imprisoned and forced to work on their behalf. He lost, he was injured in an accident in the mines once. He's kind of held a grudge ever since. He's the one I'm worried about. What kind of injury does he have? A rock collapse.

It was trapped under the rocks for some time, injured one of his hooves. He's had it replaced with a wooden one. That explains that sound. He had a weird, you know, it's a Norwedge, anyway. Yes, I agree. I spin really fast. Very good, that's lovely.

You're pretty good about it. You do a great job. I'm very observant. Yes, absolutely. We're working with Laz, and we feel like he's got what it takes. All right. A little more tutelage.

Okay. Pin in this this and fix this deal. Can we get out of here, support? We could have the Pegasus Knights, who I know are entering. We could ask them to lose on purpose. Oh! We don't set the thing about throwing the dice. I was, you know, ahead of the game.

I was used to just stabbing it off, Laz. That would make you feel bad. Laz isn't here. Laz isn't there. Yeah, Laz isn't here. You go to your turn to him. Here's the problem I see with that. While I was concerned when I said it earlier,

the reason is that it's important to Lass to know that he won, for real. He needs the confidence, he needs the self-esteem. Well, he doesn't have to know. But we would know when it gets out. You're an honesty pony! Yeah. I...

That is your element. True, true. True, true. Hey. I forgot. You don't always have to, like, sometimes going against your element is a thing. So.

Corruption. Well, I will leave that decision in your hoofs. If you give me a signal tomorrow, I will have that decision in your hoofs. If you give me a signal tomorrow, I will have the knights lose on purpose. Perhaps you can wave a colored cloth, a white cloth towards me, I'll be in the stands. We won't need it, but thank you.

All right, well I'll leave this to you. Good luck, and I hope that we can set things straight today. He gives you a nod. Wait, just before you leave. Yes. Do us a favor. Uh-huh? Get some of your friends together to cheer for Laers tomorrow.

It might increase his confidence and help him win. Oh, definitely. That's true. That's a good idea. I'll see it done. He pulls the hood up. Keep it secret. Keep it safe. Leave.

Pulls the door closed. If he is a Sean Bean pony, he's going to be dead by morning. Or is he? Or is he? Yeah, he shuts the door, and you get a lovely night's sleep. Is there anything you want to quickly do or wait for Lance to come back and say anything to him, or you just want to jump straight into this tawny? I want to check the tracker to see where Glimglow is. Yeah, so he is, you can check your tracker

on your little device, your pony pad or something, and you can see that he is just outside the city in the gorge and seems to be staying there for now. Has Laz come back yet to sleep? He can come back whenever. I want to make sure he sleeps beautifully tonight, so I would like to bore him with a bunch of numbers. Okay.

I'm going to recite a whole bunch of digits of pi at him. 3.14159265358979323846264338327550288 4197163. Very seven one six three very good whoa whoa whoa i would like to is there any way that i can upgrade or like give him a bonus to any rolls for tomorrow with like if i you can make a tinkering check yeah i'll let you make a mind with gadgetry okay um obviously that runs the risk of of if you fail then you can make it worse yeah but you can leave that up to everybody should i just let it make it worse. Yeah, but you know it's everybody Should I just let it be to you? It's your it's your skills totally up to you That's why I like when players take I got an eight on one hey

So yeah, this is gonna be amazing Okay, so six foot I'm sorry the'm sorry, the eight was... Eight was the highest? Was the highest. Okay, I'll add that to his... So he has, like, a bunch of scores, which I'm going to use in the joust already. So, like, your training with him and then the gadgetry that you've built,

basically his opponents will have to beat those numbers. So, like, the eight you had and then the numbers from before are basically going to be his skill in the joust. The joust begins with a fanfare. You can see that dozens of ponies, earth ponies, Pegasus, unicorns. The unicorns are all up in like a beautiful stand inside the castle, like built onto the walls, like, you know, stands with like pennants and banners, little booths. The earth ponies are all kind of crowded around on, like, a large central ring down on the bottom of the track.

And then the pegasi are all watching from the clouds, kind of, like, perched on the clouds, kind of watching independently. And then the run is being held by two long poles, which kind of stretch up into the air. And then the pegasi knights are kind of crossing up in the air itself. Oh, Quidditch. Very, yeah, it's got a real Quidditch kind of vibe. Yeah.

Love it. And you take your place alongside Laz in the knight's kind of preparation area. And there are a couple of bouts that go ahead, and you see some of the knights are making their way, and it gets time for Laz's first joust, which is against a formidable-looking Pegasi. His armor is bedazzled in topazes, and his lance, yeah, this is Sir Topaz, his father's

champion. And you see, in fact, Anthony Whirlpool, like, you're so observant of things, you see him speaking with a unicorn just before the match begins and the unicorn's horn glows for a second with like a kind of purple glimmer and the lance seems to like get stronger like it seems to become more solid magic cheating

cheating magic seems to be but Laz is like alright I can do this I think I'm ready are we good team is there anything I can do this, I think I'm ready. Are we a good team? Is there anything I can do to counteract? Cheating? You can see it happening in the distance.

If you can think of a way to try and do something, by all means. Well, we both have the power of telekinesis. What if we both use it together to try to deflect the power that's coming from the unicorn and stop all the things from happening that we don't want to have happen. Yeah, you could try and telekinesis like. Can I also get involved in their little scheme?

So they're gonna use their telekinesis, which obviously only unicorns can use, so how would you try and help them in what they're trying to do? I'm gonna blind them with my binoculars in the sun again, that's my trick. The binoculars are currently in Lanzarote. Oh, that's right, damn it!

Can we deflect the power in some way so that it just... You can try and, like, basically use... It won't be a telekinesis. We'll just have you do a magic with mind. Okay. But you're going to try and whatever spell this unicorn is casting on Topaz's lance, you're going to try and, like, counteract it. Yeah.

So if you both make... Who's got the higher mind out of the two of you guys? I have a D8. I have a D8. Okay. So one of you can make the check, but upgrade it to a D10. Do you wanna go on a tryout?

That's okay. I just did like, I don't know if my rolls are gonna work for me. Okay, so Julie, you roll a D10, so upgrade the dice, because you're getting help from Trixie. Right, just kidding, that was this one, right? For which one?

What are you looking for? D10. D10 is, where'd you put it? Did I put it back over here? You got it. Liam's got it. Oh, okay, look at that. Well, that's a three.

Three. That's no good. Somebody could spend a friendship table for your reroll. Can I use my own? Yeah, and if, well, you've got one last one, right? You could both spend them and then you get to upgrade it to a d20. I'll spend it.

Real good idea. Yep, let's do it. So that's the last of the friendship tokens. I got that one. Okay. Oh god. There you go. Well, hi.

It's a four. Oh! That's okay, that's okay. So you try and you're focusing and you're focusing and Peaches comes along and plays the flute to kind of give you like a boost, like trying to match the tone. And you're focusing but your horn begins to spark

and fizzle and the other unicorn seems to look around as if he's aware of somebody's trying to mess with his spell and just kind of like grins and like focuses and your horns just go out of magic, like, ah, the spell, you can't counteract it. So, Laz doesn't seem to have noticed any of this, and he's like, right, it's time. I'm going to do my best.

You're gonna be great. For Gelderland and for all of you. Laz? Yes? You've heard me say a lot. I've read crazy books to your bear. I don't understand most of it. I threw platitudes at you. Yes, but I love it. The truth is, the secret, the secret is,

the strength comes from inside you. The books are just a sham. It starts with you. With me? Yes. Starts with me. Yes. New future begins today.

The last chance. Last chance. The last chance. Last chance. You are the last unicorn. Yeah. The last unicorn. I don't get it, but I like it. Thank you, my friend. Yeah, do you want to make a charm for me? You're not going to interact. I just want to see what you get. I moved up to a six for that one, yeah?

A three. I'm just gonna like, this one little, like, a last line of defense. And he's like, right, well, thank you my friends. And he sails up and the joust begins. I hope he doesn't die. So I will roll.

So he, Topaz has a d10 for his jousting ability. And so for the first lance, it's the best of three lances. The first lance. In fact, why don't one of you guys roll for Laz for me? Who wants to roll for? Let's have Roger roll. Oh, boy.

So a d10. D10? Yeah, you got that one? Yep. So you roll that for me. There's no pressure here. Come on, Laz. You can do it. See how well he strikes the arm. Five. Five? That's good. That's good. Okay. Yeah, no, that one? Yep. So you roll that for me. Jeez, no pressure here. Come on, Laz. You can do it.

See how well he strikes the other. Five. Five? That's good, that's good. Okay, yeah, no, a five's fine. So you watch as the first bout goes, and they both strike each other's shields. Laz kind of like waits for a moment,

and with it, you see the binoculars, vrk, and then he hits the shield with the lance, but Sir Topaz's one hits Lapis in his armor and in his shield, and he spins a little bit, like, oh, and he kind of stumbles, but then he flies back up. And so they each score a point each, right? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

All right. On the second time, they sync up again for the second lance. Two. Anyone have any friendship thingies? Can I start fluting? You want to flute? I want to flute.

And what will your flute to answer accomplish? Are you trying to inspire or are you trying to distract? I'm trying to inspire. Okay. No, I'm going to distract. You're going to distract? I'm going to distract. I'm going to try to distract Mr. Topaz.

Mr. Topaz, yes. I'm going to try to make him intensely sad, and I'm going to go over in his area and start... Sir MacLachlan. Yes, Sir MacLachlan. In the arms of the Alika ones. SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, Sad pony eyes. Yes. Sad pony eyes.

Two more minutes. SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, I just want to actually keep doing it. So charm plus flute. Roll them at the same time. I got to take my earrings off. These are hurting. It's getting real! It's getting real!

Hold my beer! I would like to flute. Okay, five for charm. Uh-huh, charm. One for flute. Okay, five. I'll give him a d6 for his mind. Okay, okay, okay.

Six. So you try and distract him. But obviously he's a big Salthoof McLachlan. I can't think of a Sarah Pung. Oh, that's pretty good. Salthoof McLachlan. He's a big fan,

and so he kind of grins. And as his lance slams into Laz, Lazulize, and Laz actually gets knocked out of the air. I rolled a 10. I rolled a 10. And you watch as he begins spiraling down. That knocked out of the air is an immediate

winning. Well, I'm going to give him one chance to kind of recover. Am I rolling again for Laz? Yeah, you roll for Laz. Roll a d8 for me, though, because this is going to be just his... Four, I suck. So you watch as he's like... He's kind of spinning out,

but now you see the earth ponies and Rocky Mountain, they begin chanting and they begin cheering. Less, less, less, less, less, less. I'm going to have it so that the crowd is gonna spend effectively another friendship token to allow a re-roll a Laz chance

so Roger give me that d8 come on guys come on 7 7 you watch as just before he hits the ground Come on, guys, come on, come on! You can do it! Come on, Laz! Seven! Seven. We'll take it. You watch as just before he hits the ground, he flips over, Laz puts his arms out and tricks

his gravitational pulses, and the dust spills, and you look and there's about an inch before he actually touches the ground. The mission impossible, I think. And the crowd just goes crazy. We all do it. Yeah! And you see the token flags indicating the points. Topaz still scored two points, because he hit him on the body, but he's not out.

That's a two-one. Yeah, and Laz flies over to you and is like, I've got to knock him out of the air or that's it, we're done. I hope I can do it. I don't want to let you all down. Laz, you've got this. Yeah, I'll do it. All right, I'll do it.

Reign this bastard in. Yeah, and here in the crowd, we're all rooting for you. Yes, they're all rooting. We can do it. And he flies up there and they watch as they begin hurtling towards each other don't roll roger

because as they're just about to hit one more earthquake shakes the whole thing the stands begin collapsing the ponies go scattering around everywhere and you hear this terrible crack and this thunderous ponies begin screaming and crying out and from appearing behind the walls of the city you see this giant Doberman face drooling molten lava

as it places a big hoof up onto the walls and you can see its flame it kind of flows between its rocky joints as it places a big hoof up onto the walls and you can see its flame it kind of flows between its rocky joints uh as it's like it begins like barking and roaring and each one sends waves of sound pulsing through the crowd um and you see duke zircon just panic uh he just looks up he's like i don't believe it the The Balrog, the Baldog. It's real. And he begins like eyeing up towards the sky and everybody begins panicking and running around.

What are you guys going to do? Where's the ruby? You can see it's right in the middle underneath the jousting area in like a collected, like a wagon. We need to get it. Yes, yes. Let's get the ruby back to the place in the earth.

And you watch as the, I've actually, what are the belldog stats, I think he has like. Big boy! Well how are you gonna try and get it, because one pony cannot pull this alone. This wagon is very heavy. But earth ponies have a ton of strength, don't they? They do.

We've gotta band all the earth ponies have a ton of strength, don't they? They do. We've got to ban all the earth ponies together. All right, now I'm going to try to help nudge it. Are we taking it, Tommy? Okay, so you watch as the bow dog, one of its big paws smashes the walls of the castle down and it goes scattering and tumbling everywhere and several of the big rocks knock the ruby on its side and the wagon tips over.

So what was the plan? We got to get the fire ruby away from ponies. You know, let's take it back to where it is, so then the bow dog will follow it. We got to get it out of here. You see the pegasus knights start beginning trying to attack it, and they're kind of like, their lances are just bouncing off of its rocky hide. The earth ponies are kind of panicking, don't know what to do, and the lances are just bouncing off of its rocky hide. The earth

ponies are kind of panicked and don't know what to do, and the unicorns are fleeing towards the castle. Not there yet, but they seem to just be fleeing. But if everybody works together, which is everybody has different power, we might be able to move it as quickly as possible. There's got to be a book for this. There's got to be some weird inspirational quote that'll get all the earth bunnies together. There was a legend of a cat, a giant cat, centuries ago that came up out of the earth

and they threw a giant fish into the ocean and the cat chased it. So we give the dog what it wants. A bone! Lasagna? The ruby! Fetch, we're going to play fetch! Fetch!

Okay. Lance flies down to all like, what's going to play fetch! Fetch! Okay. Lance flies down to you all like, what's going on, what are we doing? What can I do? You're going to help us catapult this fire ruby into the air and away from here. Is that what you're? He's got his ability to fly up and like.

I could delegate to the other ponies. Exactly, that's a racial problem. I'm very good at delegating. Exactly. All right, well I'll come on then. What should I have them do? You've got to incentivize them, though. Okay.

You've got to let them know that when they do this, when everything is saved, they get to have equality. All right, done. Okay. Well, I just want to help. What should I tell them to do? I can get the unicorns, the earth ponies, and the pegasi. What should I have them do? I'm not very good at ideas, you're all so clever.

Have all the unicorns together, lift it with the, they all have the kinesis, lift it to make it lighter, have the earth ponies pull as much as they can, and the unicorns, I'm sorry, and the pegasus fly up and distract the bald dog. That's a perfect idea, Countess Pike. Should I do that? Yes! Yes, all right. I start flying up.

Yes, he's like, yes, come with me, peaches. You can use your flute to give me a nice soundtrack. Yep, yep, yep, yep. So he flies up and you begin playing some sort of jam. Yep. Jethro Tull! And he looks down. I feel like it's smooth jazz at this point.

Jethro Tull, pow, pow, pow, rock and roll! He flies up and he's like, Unicorns, Earth Ponies, Pegasi, listen to me, listen to your marquee, we must work together. Unicorns, you shall lift up the ruby with your magic. Earth Ponies, throw your ropes, use your wagons and your mining equipment to drag it back towards the gorge, we must return it.

Pegasi Knights, distract it. Peaches, lead the Pegasi knights. Trixie Gadget, counter-spy, you shall help the unicorns consolidate their efforts. Tomey time. Whirlypoo. I'm Whirlypoo! Throw it at that! Yes, blind it! Blind it, Whirlypoo! Don't you love poo? Tomey, use your excellent influence of people.

We shall not go quietly into the night! And with those coordinated efforts, with Lazuli leading things, it works exactly as intended. So the ponies, the unicorns, you lift it up with your magic. Everybody's horns all glowing in unison. The rubies lift it up into the air. The earth ponies begin swooping ropes over it

and hauling it up onto wagons and begin dragging it through the city towards the gorge. Whilst the bow dog turns to try and chase it, the pegasi knights all fly in its vision. Peaches, you're leading them with your spear in hand, kind of swinging past. Wally Poo stands before this almighty beast and just spins and feces begin flying up into its face.

That's you, Mike. As it desperately tries to get away, confused by the smell. Tomy, you lead them all. Who's a good dog? Who's a good dog? You are! Fetch me!

Its tail begins wagging as it bounds after the fire ruby. And as you lead it into the gorge itself, as it settles back into where it was, the bow dog kind of encapsulates around it, biting down and wrapping around it around a favorite toy. And his form begins to solidify

and return back to the earth, filling up the space that was once the gorge. And it completely solidifies. Duke Zircon vanishes without a trace. Vanishes? Vanishes. Seems to have fled in fear or terror. And as the

returning efforts, the reconstruction efforts begin, people begin sort of things. You see Laz, you see Lazulai coordinating things, working around. Look at you go. Yeah. And it's just in time

because within a few, the next day, there is another royal visitor as Princess Twilight Spyhawk herself. She's here! She descends, flying with her friends,

following her behind. Guys, I got actual chills! What's happening? I actually have chills! She arrives with her friends in tow. Yeah, and she. Hey, Twi! Hey, hey, hey, Twi!

Hey, Peaches, it's great to see you. Look what we did! I heard something terrible. I heard something terrible happened. Yeah, it did, but thankfully we were here, and it's good to see you, Twi. It's great to see you all as well, my faithful students. Tell me, what happened?

What did you, did you learn anything? What happened? We used the power of friendship. I knew you would. This is why I sent you here. I knew that Gelderland had had some problems recently, and having met Marquis last July, I knew that he had a good heart inside, but he needed somebody to show him the way, so I couldn't think of any better students to send with him.

Thank you all so much for doing what you did. And with that, we're going to wrap out the episode, I think. Unless you have parting words. Parting words from any of you guys. I still have my application in to be the court gadgeteer. I was promised that. I will make sure application in to be the court gadgeteer. I was promised that. I will make sure that that is seen immediately, Trixie. Excellent.

Oh, you're more than welcome to stay here in my kingdom, if you wish. I know I'm not as magnificent as Princess Twilight, but you'd be most welcome here. He's hitting on you. Well, I'm good with community. I would never dream of such a thing. Sounds like a good position.

I can't really turn that up. I'd be honored to have you. Thank you, I accept. We'll miss you, Trixie. We'll miss you, Trixie. I'll visit. That's wonderful. Yeah, friends never say die.

Wow. Wow. I think that's what they say. Yeah. Friends never say die. Wow. Wow. I think that's what they say. Yeah. Friends never say die. Friends never say die. Friends never die. Anything else, anybody else?

Duke. Is that just his joke? Just Duke. It's still funny. It's still funny. You know, technically, technically without my father, I'd become Duke. I'd be Duke Lazuli.

Duke Laz. I still don Duke Lazuli. Duke Laz. I still don't get it. The Laz Duke. Just promise us that you'll rule with kindness and that you will give power to other people. You're very good at delegating. I will, I have learned everything from you and I will see that Gelderland becomes a great kingdom

once again with everybody working together. Marvelous, absolutely. and I'd be honored to have you all stay whenever you wish. Yay! Thanks, lads! Thanks, peaches! Friendship is magic. Friendship is magic. Hoof claps!

Yep, hoof claps. Good job, Wark! There we go, well thank you guys. Good job, Wark! There's no other way to end it. I love that. Drop the gumdrops down on the floor. Well, thank you guys so much for playing this ridiculously wholesome sugary sweet game with me. What are you talking about?

Did you guys have fun? We tainted it a little bit. A little bit, but just the right amount, I feel. Just the right amount. Full speed through. You guys have fun? Yes! That was a blast. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much, I feel. Just the right amount. Full speed through. You guys have fun? Yes! Excellent. That was a blast.

Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much, Mark. No, my pleasure. Thank you, Critical Roleful, for having me on the show as well. Yeah, well, thanks very much for watching, guys. I hope you enjoyed Tales of Equestria. You can check out the game,

and if you want to have your own pony adventures, you can play. Yeah, bye, I guess. Bye! Bye! Thank you for listening to Tales of Equestria on the Critical Role Podcast Network. A special thank you to our wonderful GM for the episode,

Mark Humes from High Rollers, for taking us on that ridiculous journey. If you enjoyed our pony adventure, please leave us a review on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, or whatever podcasting app you're using. It'll help your fellow Critter find our channel. To learn more about all that's going on here at Critical Role Land, visit us at critrole.com.

And remember, it's almost Thursday.