Critical Role - The Mighty Nein Reunion: Echoes of the Solstice | Live from London!

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

In the wake of the chaos after the Apogee Solstice, The Mighty Nein join forces yet again to deal with the rolling dangers suddenly unleashed… Twitch subscribers gain instant access to VODs of our shows like Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and 4-Sided Dive. But don't worry: Twitch broadcasts will be uploaded to YouTube about 36 hours after airing live, with audio-only podcast versions of select shows on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & Google Podcasts following a week after the initial air date. Twitch subscribers also gain access to our official custom emote set and subscriber badges and the ability to post links in Twitch chat! Introductions by Daniel Sloss Music by Colm McGuinness Mighty Nein Opening Title animated by Kamille Areopagita and Kevin Areopagita Character Art by Hannah Friederichs Danial Sloss’s character art is by Eren https://twitter.com/ErenAngiolini Mini sculpting by Daniel Ehrli and WizKids Mini designs by Tyler Walpole Mini paints by Iron Tusk and The 8 Paints “Your Turn To Roll (Critical Role Theme)” Written by Sam Riegel and Jason Charles Miller Original Music by Omar Fadel and Hexany Audio "Welcome to Wildemount” Art reel theme by Colm McGuinness Additional Music by Universal Production Music, Epidemic Sounds, and 5 Alarm Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story. Fucking hello, Wembley!

Fuck yeah! How are you, Critters? You good? For those of you that don't know who I am, I'm also devastated that I'm not Sam Riegel. I promise you, they're all back there. They're all waiting. They can all hear you. So let them fucking know. Congratulations.

You just made Ashley Johnson shit her pants. Man, it is a pleasure to be here. I'm only here for fucking 15 minutes. I'll do 10 because I want to see the show too, okay? I'm here to warm you up, which I'm very aware you do not need warmed up. You're wet as fuck. I can see it in you. Man. I've had

the great privilege. I'm a critter myself. I watch the fucking show. I've not caught up. I'm halfway through season two so there are going to be a lot of spoilers for me this evening. A lot of spoilers. Because, give me a cheer if you're still catching up on this. I fucking see you guys.

It's really hard. It's really hard. It's like catching up on the news. Every week, my wife is like, how many episodes did you watch? I'm like, ten episodes. What the fuck? Oh! Hey! Got to tell you, mixed feelings knowing this is the only time I'll ever play Wembley. The only reason I agreed to do the show

is because this was the only way I could get fucking tickets. Who'd have thought a bunch of nerds would be really good at using the internet fast? I tell you what, the staff at Box Park has never seen a crowd like this. The poor people, the serving in the bar over there, they are used to England fans drunkenly coming out of Wembley Stadium, singing, dancing, punching, cheering.

They've never had some cunt dressed as an elf. Walk in, be like, Hello, milady, a pint of your finest grog. Roll for a tip. Unlucky. This is all the bar staff like, who the, what team is this?

I don't know, but none of them make eye contact. Super fucking exciting, man. It's nice to get to see the crew enjoy Britain, to come over and get to share it with them. A lot of the cast are like, Jesus Christ, you guys, you Brits, you do swear a lot. And I'm like, yeah, it's because we're fucking good at it. The reason, and before I go into this little routine,

give me a cheer, any Americans? Fucking mad respect, no idea if you came to see the show or just fleeing your country. Ah. Fucking mad respect. No idea if you came to see the show or just fleeing your country. What a time it is to be alive when you can see Americans humble about where they're from. And I know this is being streamed at home over in America, but none of you can get me from here. No gun goes that far.

I'm absolutely fucking safe. Look, here's the problem. Americans, the reason they don't swear is because they're just not good at it. It's not for them. Swearing is designed for guttural accents. Scottish, Irish, Australian. And as much as it pays me to admit it, you English are pretty fucking good at it too. The reason we are good at swearing is because our vowels are short. Short vowels are crucial to swearing. Fuck, shit, cunt, listen to that. Three swear words in under a second. It's impressive. My swear words never dominate a sentence When we swear, it's like spicing up the conversation

Swearing as a British person Is just like having a drum kit backing up your rant Which is Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck Motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker, piss Pissing bastard, pissing bastard, shit, shit, fuck Cunt, cunt, pissucking, motherfucking piss. Pissing bastard, pissing bastard, shit shit fuck, cunt cunt piss. It's musical and it's rhythmic and...

It adds a certain... to the conversation, whereas Americans, they don't shorten down their vowels. They elongate their vowels because they sing everything, because they're happy, because they're... Oh, fuck, I forgot that was there. Fuck, everyone saw. That's why they say, why don't you fuck off, asshole? You're being a bastard. Could you stop being such a twat? What the fuck did you just call me? I called you a twat.

On behalf of all... Where's the fucking camera that the Americans can see back home? On behalf of the English-speaking world who gave you your fucking language and you're welcome. Hey, they beat us in a war. It's only fair. On behalf of all English-speaking countries, it is twat. It's twat. It rhymes with hat. It rhymes with cat. Twat. Twat is not a swear word. Twat is a rejected deli tubby and I have no idea why he's being brought up in conversation. I love the versatility of British swear words. Right, let's go back to twat.

Twat, by my last count, had three separate meanings. Right? You could have a twat, if you're a lady, that's that. You can be a twat, that's a stupid or annoying person, exhibit A. It's also a verb. You can twat someone. In this country, the sentence, I twatted the twat in the twat,

grammatically makes sense. Fucking, I swear to you, it's very surreal to have this definitely be the biggest gig of my career. And even I'm just waiting to see what Sam Riegel's wearing. And if I get my way by the end of the night, it'll be fucking nothing. We gotta see it. If there's ever a time for him to get his cock out,

it's the live show, right? It's the live show. We can stick a kilt on him, then it's cultural. A couple of ground rules, obviously. Please don't film the fucking show. That's what those cameras are for, and they're better than whatever you have in your pocket. Please don't shout out rules.

You're not a better dungeon master than Matthew fucking Mercer. Do not shout out jokes. You're not funnier than Laura Bailey. If there's a fire, we're not funnier than Laura Bailey. If there's a fire, we're all going to die. And we can blame Caleb. Obviously

there's merch out there. I've seen you all queuing for hours and hours and hours out there to get your merch. I'm not really sure. Look, here's the thing. I just have to get the energy up enough to know that all of the TED had put out very good, so a bit premature, but I respect it.

Happens to the best of us, not me. But this is the first live show of Critical Role since 2020. It is the first it is the first live show in Europe and we have a fucking point to prove, ladies and gentlemen, critics in general. I have spent the past two days... Every time you laugh at something,

I assume Liam O'Brien is just doing something right there. I have spent the past two days desperately trying to convince them all to make sure that they come back, and when they do come back, I will drag them all to make sure that they come back and when they do come back I will drag them up to Scotland to be part of this incredible milestone in critical role history and to be fair I think it's still going to go up and up and up, like they're so excited

they're so nervous, they can't believe they're at this stage and I'm just there with them being like, this isn't ending anytime soon motherfuckers. Like do you think these psychos are going anywhere? No. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, and others, sorry very important, sorry, critters, critters, my Ladies and gentlemen and others

sorry very important sorry critters critters my bad sorry sorry one last round and I want

don't start I'm going to fucking big you up I want this to take the roof off the venue I want to make sure that they understand

that British audiences are better than American fucking audiences. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dimension 20 Live. Um... LAUGHTER Alright! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dimension 20 Live! Let's do it, let's start, happy for me to go, fucking thrilled. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Ashley Johnson! Liam O'Brien! Taliesin Jaffe Mariska Redd! Yeah!

Laura Bailey Travis Wellingham! Sam Riegel! And that's it, that's everyone, that's no one else. No, ladies and gentlemen, Matthew Marshal! Oh, okay. Cool. Oh my goodness. All righty. Just a normal day. Oh my goodness. Alrighty, just a normal day. Oh no.

Well, hello everyone. And welcome to Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. This time in London! So, that's cool. Wow. Thank you all so much for joining us. This is absolutely surreal. My soul returned to my body as the rest of ours, maybe in different bodies by the time we get there, by the end of the night. But before we get into our wonderful live show here in London, we do have some quick announcements to get through. Oh boy. To that point, our sponsor for the night is Thorum.

Sam? Thorum! Oh, hello? Dad, my sleeves are in the way. Guys, Thorum handcrafts unique wedding bands out of everything from dinosaur bone to whiskey barrel to World War II rifle stocks. And now Thorum makes minimalist watches right here on my arm.

Featuring meteorite, Hawaiian Koa, and California Redwood. With free worldwide shipping and a lifetime warranty. Whether you need a wedding ring, anniversary ring, or just want a ring that looks great. Head to Thorum.com and use code CRITICALROLL for 20% off. And feel like a rock star. Now, speaking of rock stars, in honor of Thorum, I thought we'd do a little call and response. Now, this isn't Wembley Stadium, but it's the closest I'm ever going to get. And I'm not Freddie Mercury, but I've got a mustache.

So the word is Thorum. I want you to sing it with me. Thorum. Thorum. Thorum Thorum Thorum Thorum Thorum Thorum

Thorum Thorum! Thorum! Thorum! Thorum! Thorum! Thorum! Alright! Back to you, Matt. Thank you, Sam.

Thank you, Thorne. And I apologize to everyone in the front row. All right. For our next announcement, Ashley, if you want to take this away. Of course. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Okay, okay, okay. Oh, my God. I'm very emotional. Yeah. This is amazing. Okay. Of course, I never have announcements, and one lands in a live show, so that's hilarious.

Okay. Okay, so this Giving Tuesday, we have joined forces yet again with the incredible people at Comic Relief U.S. and Red Nose Day to create another special one-shot shaped by your votes through the donation polls and created with love by all of us here at Critical Role. So we have a really fun guest cast, legendary comedians and actors, Sam Richardson and Tony Hale. So they will be joining our table for the first time alongside, we have Laura Bailey.

We have Atalys and Jaffe. We have Allium O'Brien. And guess who's GMing it? Matthew Mercer. Voting is open right now at this very moment and we'll close at midnight Pacific.

I don't know if that means anything to you. Friday, November 3rd, you can vote on which class each of our players will play as, as well as a few fun game-shaping options that are dictated by Mr. Matthew Mercer himself. Don't mess it up too much, please. This very special one-shot will air on Giving Tuesday, which is November 28th at 5 p.m. Pacific on Twitch and YouTube at 5 p.m. Pacific with VOD available on YouTube the very next day. Yes. So cast your vote now at critrole.com slash rednoseday. I love you guys.

Holy moly. You did great. Can I ask, before we move on, would everyone who's in cosplay tonight please rise so we can appreciate you? Oh! Yes! Yeah! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, man, so many sprinkles.

Let me down. I see you. Okay. No. I believe now that the adrenaline has spiked more than it's ever had in any of our bodies, the liquid in our forms have evacuated entirely. Catheters are in. We're good. That brings us to the end of our announcements, which means... Let's go ahead and jump into of Critical Role. Yes! Woo! Are you doing an opening title? Yeah!

Opening title? Yeah. Is it going? Sing along! The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends And the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames For the battles ahead

Villains beware Cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got fouchions and cunning They don't see over there There's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting Rise up, don't think twice

Put your fate in your hands Take a chance, roll the dice Can you answer the call Digging deep in your soul As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll To run Oh my god! I've had this dream! Thank you all so much for the trauma.

That will haunt me whenever I close my eyes. Horrifying. Oh, shit. It has been roughly seven years since peace was brokered between the Dwindalian Empire and the Kareem Dynasty, ending the War Nein, this found family, had slightly scattered across Wild Mountain and beyond to pursue their individual goals and happiness, all while keeping in contact through less turbulent times. While some follow their call to sail the seas in meaning of adventure, some raise a family and others caretake their existing one. in meaning of adventure. Some raise a family,

and others caretake their existing one. The individuals known as Beauregard Lionette and Caleb Widogast continue their partnership in justice under the unifying mistrust of authority and need to weed out the shadow that lurks deep within the Cerberus Assembly. Many slippery years later, numerous frustrations colored with a handful of victories leave them ever closer to unraveling the machinations of the Assembly's deep, clever, long-scheming

leader, Martinet Ludinus de Lethe. In following his plotting, Bo and Caleb found themselves at ground zero of a dangerous event. Engineered to tether the red moon Ruidus to Exandria and create a bridge to the entity that slumbers within it, Rodothos, the god-eater.

Infiltrating the site of Ludinus' plan, these two attempt to stop him with the aid of some unlikely heroes. Unfortunately, Ludinus was prepared for them. Seizing the mind of Bo and silencing the spellcraft of Caleb, they are forced to watch as the Malleus Key harnesses the power of the Apogee Solstice and unleashes untold magical chaos across the world, shunting these two elsewhere in the blink of an eye. Turn that volume down on the music just a little bit.

Now Beauregard, Caleb. In the midst of this grand white flash, as the key fires a red energy beam high into the stratosphere over the city, over the entirety of Exandria, the flash of light grows until it encompasses every part of your senses. You feel your bodies vibrate and hum, and then are almost pulled asunder before you both fall to the ground,

breathing heavy. The light fades and you take in the shaded surroundings. Tracks. That's right. Sound effects, I guess, are part of the thing, too. As the high-pitched whine finally dies down from your inner ear.

You see yourself sitting within a ravine, deep within a graveyard battlefield that you recognize from your travels as the Encanter's Rest, within the region known classically as the Miskath Strand, or to others, Blightshore. The sky is marked with multicolored threads

of magical energy, the ley lines of the world laid visible via the solstice. You're alone as the cold wind blows by. With your thoughts, you, the collar of the mage hunter golem still affixed to your throat, and you just regaining your faculties. What the fuck just happened? Are you okay?

You can talk, right? It just blocks magic? I can't remember. Do you try and talk? Yeah. Your voice comes out clearly. It's been a while. It's been a while. Been a while! And you said that we are, sorry, GM, you said that we are where on the globe?

You are to the eastern banks of Far East Wildemount, a land long sundered by dark magics. But that doesn't immediately consume your thoughts, as this device on your neck is designed to keep all spellcraft and speech from happening. But it seems in the wake of the solstice and whatever blast of chaotic energies were released, the enchantment that held your voice is now dispelled and gone. I spent so much time working on this. That's okay. I'll save it for another day.

Do you want to punch this off my neck? You want me to punch the collar off your neck? It'd be better to take off your head. You are highly trained. We have worked together for years. I trust you will not break my windpipe. Some misplaced trust right there.

All right. First and foremost, Matt, can I look at this thing? Is there an easier way to maybe take this thing off other than punching it off? It's not the first time it's been removed. You've seen with delicate finger work, such a device could be removed with the right tools. Uh-huh. You know, your wife has shaved me with a greatsword. I don't think this should be too challenging

for you. Okay. Okay. This should not work. Nothing about this feels like it should work. Matt, it's cold here? Is it cold? It's quite chilly, yes. Am I able to almost... Oh shit, no, that makes no sense. I can't freeze this thing. Punching it off it is. Actually, hold, hold, hold, hold. What? Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold.

I am questioning my decision-making abilities. We've been through a lot. This collar is made of silver iron? I mean, it's made of multiple materials, but the primary construction of it appears to be of a smooth stone with a metallic structure on the outside, almost like an exoskeleton of forged iron and metal. Okay, okay.

I am going to use my low-level wizard spell of Minor Alchemy to... It'll take me 10 or 15 minutes to slowly turn this whole thing to wood. What? No, I want her to punch you! I'm sitting next to her. It's going to happen. Uh, okay. I guess we don't have a choice. Let's see if you can even do this. Maybe.

Well, I know I can do it. Okay. Yeah. Just go sit down and cool your heels for a moment. And I will take 10 or 15 minutes to try to turn the entirety of this thing into balsa wood. All right. Ah.

Can you make it scented, too? Does it smell nice? We'll go for cedar. Good call. Thank you. As you sit and concentrate on the molecular structure of this material, utilizing your well-mastered magical arts, you begin to alter and change its bindings

from the tiniest scale inside. As Beauregard, you keep an eye out on the horizon. You can see the dark and very painfully jagged-looking mountains to the west. Can I see Ruedas from here? You cannot. Okay. But as the time goes by

and your slow incantation and focus, Caleb, begins to take hold and you feel the rigid structure of this collar begin to slightly give, begin to bend and show that transition into its new form, a terrifying thought crosses your mind. If this collar was disenchanted and destroyed, is there a chance that others have been similarly affected. Okay, that sounds like a tomorrow problem.

Not a today problem. I hope. No? Nein. I am not. But it slowly turns into water. It does complete its transition. Okay. Okay, I don't think...

I was curious to see what would happen if you punched toward my windpipe, but maybe you could just use your pythons to snap this off. Yeah. Dude, what the hell happened back there? I don't know. I saw... You saw, we saw that cloaked figure appear.

And a bunch of weirdos. There was a dead lady and a little guy. And two people with pink hair. You know, the girl with purple hair, she was kind of cute. Hey! Hey. Whoa.

Careful. Don't cross the streams. I'm just saying, I just, from, I appreciate her beauty. Yes. Agreed. Valid. Could you take this off my neck, please? Okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do just that.

I'm going to just try and snap it. Make a strength check for me. Strength check? Yes! That's a low-ass number. Yeah. Level 20, come on. It's not been my thing ever.

You got this. Just straight, straight. You got it. You're going to be great. All right, all right, all right. First roll. 14 total. Somewhere between cedar and balsa, the wood begins to crack under the pull of your knuckles

until eventually it splinters outward. For a brief moment, Caleb, you hear the snap and just momentarily worry if it was you or the caller. Until she pulls away the front of it into a shattering pile of splinters and it falls from your throat. Well, it

served me well. But on to the next. Okay. We've got to get to Yasha. Who knows what happened to everybody else Yeah, we need to talk to We need to brainstorm this I don't know what it means

Yet And I don't think we want to give We can brainstorm after I get to Yasha Sure, let's go Hold my hands Alright, I think she was with Caduceus. All right. At this stage in my life,

I have a small bit of stone that chipped off of a gravestone that I picked up years ago, so I can always return to the Blooming Grove without a problem. And here we go. Gathering hands here in the middle of this shadowed space, you worry how much of the world

may have been affected in similar ways. You close your eyes, complete the incantation, and both of you are whisked away, your feet touching down into softer ground. The mossy and grass-covered floor of the center of the blooming grove appears before you. Your eyes focus and glance around, and the grove has never been healthier to memory. You can see it's creeping back towards its original borders since before the encroachment of the surrounding salvalier wood. New stones adorn the surrounding gardens, odd and beautiful abstract shapes.

Some have small enchanted waterfalls that trickle down between them. In the far corner of the grove are a couple of still living trees that have grown into the shape of a long half-circled bench with a beautiful sunset view. As you both kind of gather your bearings here in this space, you hear a familiar voice turn

as Calliope Clay approaches, carrying what looks like a bundle of potatoes under her arm. Um, can I help you? Calliope, no, no time. Wait, did you, wait, no, wait, a little bit of time. Did you see, did something weird happen? It is the solstice, yes. Did you see the moon fall from the fucking sky?

No, the moon's not even on this side of Exandria. What are you talking about? Where's Yasha? Doesn't matter. Is your brother around? Is Yasha around? Yeah, yeah, hold on just a second. Let me go find him. You know what, Come with me. She readjusts the potato satchel and begins walking over towards the quaint stone home that marks the center of the blooming grove. Now, Yasha, you've been on edge knowing what they were going off to do.

Where the fuck is she? Where? It's been too long. She's been gone too long. Baby! You hear her voice. Baby! Baby! As you both rush out to reunion. Oh my god.

Are you okay? Are you okay? I touch her everywhere and make sure she's fine. I mean, not everywhere. Maybe later. Okay. We'll put a pin in that one. I'm good. I mean, not everywhere. Maybe later. Okay. No, we're gonna put in that one. I'm good. I'm a little subject to the desert. It has dried

my face out so bad. We'll get you some cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. That's fine. It's fine. You look great. You look so good. I miss you so much. I give her a big fatty kiss. I do too when I grab a little bit of her tush. Where's Caduceus?

I have seen this 500 times, often just when they've been apart for two hours. Sorry, we love each other. Deal with it. Those were my inside thoughts. Proceed. It's about this time you see the familiar, somewhat long-eared, wide smile and vibrant pink hair of the familiar Caduceus Clay step into the doorway behind her.

Well, I don't believe it. Whoa! Oh, wow. And, uh, Caleb, you have that... One of the nearby snakes begins to slither off into the shadows, spooked by the sudden arrival of unfamiliar individuals. That is an ill omen, Caduceus. We need to talk immediately. You have that look.

I was about to go pack a bag, and I figured that's... You don't have any tea ready, do you? I've got so much tea. I have new tea. Hold on. Let's get everything together. Is Clarabelle around?

Somebody said... I'll get Clarabelle. Clamp, he walks off. Have her pack a bag. What happened? Sit down. We pack a bag. For me. What happened? Sit down. We have a bench. We made it to the Malleus

Key like we planned, but nothing ended as we planned. Daleth brought down the champion of the Matron into the heart of the dig site and he did something. I can't even explain it to you.

Our vision went white. Everyone around us disappeared. We woke up in a different part of the world. Long story short, everything's fucked. Look, this is bad. Cerberus Assembly is up to their shit

again. From what we could figure out, I don't know. I think we need to rally the troops. Let's have that cup of tea and I will explain all of it to you. Get that bag packed, We have to go. Putting it together, here we go again. Oh boy.

As you all gather within the homestead here in the middle of the Blooming Grove, the smell teas and gentle wisps of various flower-like floral imbibables and cooked gentle vegetarian meals are being set in the back kitchen. Briefly, Constance Clay wanders out. Oh, hi. It's been

a while. Glad you could join us. Am I making food for everyone? For the moment, I think just, I don't know, biscuits. We have some bread and tea. We're going to be moving soon. Tea, water. Our skin is very dry. A quick meal, I'll get right to it. She goes back into the kitchen as Claribel comes out. I got a bag. What do you want in the bag?

I'll take everything in the emergency trunk. I'll take that lovely new armor. I suppose it's time. Let's just... I'll put the oh no, I have to leave in a hurry kit together. I know we've talked about this.

Okay, I'll get right to it. You're not going anywhere spooky, are you? You'll be round two if it goes poorly, I promise. I'll hold you to that. That's dark, but okay. And she darts back off

to gather the rest of the supplies. She's gotten even weirder. She's getting at that age. I had a really bad dream. What's your dream? I dreamed that you fell in love with somebody else. I mean, very beautiful. Very beautiful, but like...

Wonderful. She seemed beautiful, but like, wonderful. She seemed great, but... Babe, you know you don't have to worry about this. I know that dream beau can be an asshole sometimes. God, I hate it, and then it feels so real, and then I get mad. I'm sorry, look, I only have eyes for you. But if you wanted to talk about exploring... Oh. Oh.

We can, you know, open things up. Listen, I didn't know that was on the table. Well, you know, I feel like we have to have a long talk about boundaries. Yes, of course, of course. And before we do anything like that. We've been together for so long. So, you know, only if you're into it. This is not important right now.

No, no, no, not important, but it is. You have to find the right people. It can be tricky. Which brings you momentarily back to fonder memories. Of younger memories. And of some of the darkest memories of your past. The return

to the man who took so much from you. A man that was put away. And may no longer be. The mystery hangs in your mind as they talk. I don't know. We have to go. We have to get the nine back together. You know, I just...

Yes, we should. I know that Chester and Ford will 100% be down. Beth. Ford will 100% be down. Veth, I mean, you know, she's like a full mom right now. I feel like we need her, though. Yeah, you are correct. I think we should get Ford and Jester first

because Jester has always been able to convince Veth of anything. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that will be our next stop. Take us there. The detective agency, they'll be interested. Okay. Yeah.

Are we ready? Are we ready? I'm in a mild manic panic. I just go in and start shoving things off of the shelves into the bag. That's not... No, we might need it. You don the bag. That's not, oh, that's just. No, we might need it. You don't know.

That's baking soda. I don't, okay. That's fine. I down a hot tea. Heist, heist, heist, heist, heist, heist. Constance leans out of the kitchen. Oh, you're taking my patterns? It's important.

Hey, I'm just happy you've picked up stitching. And we better go before this gets any more awkward. Okay. Goliath, hey, Clarabelle, if you do not hear from me in, oh, it's them two weeks, I guess. You know what to do. The next one's out. Two weeks, I'll keep tabs. Quirrell Bell's like, two weeks. And those friends you've been making really worry me, dear.

I just, okay, that's... We'll be back. Oh, boy. Yeah, okay, I have done this many times before, and I go rifling through all of my pockets and pouches, and I pull out a splinter from the ship of the nine heroes. Hold my hand, be careful of the splinter. Entschuldigung, and here we go. In a brief burst of arcane power you feel yourselves

transported between realms pushed through an immediate wind tunnel for but a split second as the shadow and crackling pass by and you both find your feet hit the wooden deck of the nine heroes still makes me nauseous

for look around immediately and while you hear waves crashing it's no heavy That makes me nauseous. Ford! Jess! You look around immediately, and while you hear waves crashing, it's no heavy rocking of the boat. In fact, what you expected to be a wide mid-sea journey, the boat appears to be docked. Docked in a familiar city,

the coastal city of Nicodranas. Well, that is what they call a twofer. Do you see them? You don't see them, but Ford, you definitely hear your name being shouted from above. What are you in the middle of doing right now? Oh, what the fuck? Oh.

Oh, damn it. We're not doing anything. Oh, you call this nothing? How did we start this so horny? What the hell? It's the Mighty Nein! These are the best repairs I could make to the ship with my own hands. It's the best I could do. It looks really good, Fjord.

Thank you. I'm really working on it. Did you hear someone above deck? Fjord! Jester? No, no, no, no, no, no. No. I go take him off. I run, I run, I run. He watches Jester emerge from below deck, immediately wide-eyed and happy to see you. Oh, surprise! Good job, everyone! I wish you all the best! Welcome to our ship!

Oh, big message. I'm so glad you guys are here. I have the worst headache. I've been trying to call you all day, and for some reason, I keep getting a headache every time I do it. I don't know what's going on. You've been trying to call us? Well, yeah, like my normal morning, you know, hello.

Wait, you're saying it hasn't been working? You just keep talking, though. The whole... Well, I keep thinking maybe this next time. Maybe this next time. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep. Yeah, there is something going on with the solstice. We have so much to explain.

You can't talk to anybody. Not right now. I haven't been able to. You mean, like, anybody in person even? Or do we need to anybody, not right now. I haven't been able to. You mean like anybody in person even? Or do we need to be like... Well, you are talking to me right now and I'm registering what you are saying. Are we able to see Ruidus in the sky?

Have we seen anything? Make a perception check. Oh, fuck that. Nine. Nine. Net. A lot of fog on the horizon. Well, north is that way. So it should rise there.

That's incredible. I'm sure you're all here for pleasant news, yes? Good tidings? Verudas got sucked out of the sky. What? And it's tethered to Exandria. What? And I think they're trying to unleash

a god-eater named Predathos. Sure, yep. That sounds about I think they're trying to unleash a God eater named Pridathos. Sure. Yep. That sounds about right. Look, man, it's been a really stressful few days. Don't fuck with me. Oh my God. We just bought a bunch of new ships.

Sorry, that was. The nearby boat horns of other arriving ships coming in the dock. Announce their presence. Talk as you like. The city never stops bustling. All we know is that Ludinus is up to some fuckery. Oh, but he's so nice. Why would he do anything? Only his hair.

And I have reason to believe that we need to fear all of the Assembly, all of the Assembly. All of them fought. Oh. Oh. What, what? Oh, you mean all of the Assembly living only, I hope. Yes, please say yes.

So far as we know. But Trent, I have questions about Trent. Oh no. Wait, so if a guard gets eaten, do you think like that the traveler... Jester! Well, what? This is not the time to be opportunistic. I'm just saying, like, he would be really powerful if there was, like, nobody else around.

Well, he's sort of a... He's sort of a fringe case. It's hard to tell which way that would fall. He would be fine. He'd be fine. He'd be fine. So it all sounds terrible. We just bought three new ships.

We need to at least make sure that they're on their way to harbor so that I'm sure we can go tackle all this horrible shit. We have the wayward accent, we have the rumble cusp express, and we have the sapphire of the sea, which is of course yours. It's a beautiful ship, you guys. So lovely. That's wonderful. Shipping's on hold. Well, we need to move quickly forward, so what do you need to do for your company to

make sure they're all... Oh, fuck it. Let's just go. It'll be fine. We need Veth. We need Veth. Yeah. Is she nearby? Yeah, there's a apartment over here. Let's all just lead the way. Okay.

Heading down into the streets of Nicodranas, you yourselves only arrived in the past day or so, and heard some ruckus further towards the center of the city, though didn't pay too much mind as you were focused on the repairs of your ship, right? Yes, the repairs. But as you begin to head through the outside of the docks, you can see in the streets there's a larger presence of the Clovis Concord Guard. You can see that some of the townsfolk are kind of out and looking about. You can see that there are signs of some sort of a struggle in parts of the streets.

And not too far from the central marketplace that splinters off into the multiple districts, you can see there is a large sea beast of some kind, like this thick, blubbery-looking, almost like a paleosaur-type being that has been stabbed multiple times and is no longer moving. The crownstards have circled it. Other townsfolks are wandering out to keep an eye on it and ask what's going on. You having your own private battle over here? It's huge! It's the biggest fly I've ever seen! It's a very big boy. Get him, Matt.

That might be someone we know. Oh! That was awesome. None of us will do anything that cool the rest of the night. Interrupt my story, why don't you? Oh my gosh. But it seems even moments of recent chaos have taken to the streets of Nicodranas in the wake of this celestial event.

Mama. Oh, yeah, how is your mom? Is she doing good? Well, yeah, but what if she... I mean, is she going to be okay? Yes, of course. She's got the best protection of anyone. I'm sure she's fine. Blood is wonderful. Okay. Yeah, no one fucks with blood.

Okay. Are you continuings with Blued. Okay. Are you continuing to Veth's abode, or are you heading to anywhere else? We should get Veth. Yeah. I feel like time might be important right now. I'm going to try to send a message to Mama. Oh, boy. Okay. What do you say?

Mama, something's going on. I don't know what it is, but the Brutus is stuck to the earth and... Do we call it earth? I don't know. Do you mean Exandria? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. The planet you lived on?

Stay inside. Don't do anything. How? I wasn't looking. You're done. That's it. That's the entire message. Perfect. Go ahead and roll a d100 for me.

Damn it, every time. Come on, we die. That's the first time for everything? Oh, wait. What is that? You gotta roll one other. That's more than a hundred. I understand. Hold on. One moment, please.

48. 48. You take... What? 14 points of psychic damage. Whoa! But she heard me. She definitely heard me.

Does she respond? No response. Is your head okay? No, Caduceus, I need help. I'm on, like, death's door right now with how many times I've been doing this. Yeah, just let's... Oh, I guess I could heal myself. But would you? Let's be honest. Heal me may help me.

Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, cure wounds, number one. I don't know why I bothered. All righty. Continuing onward towards the outskirts of the Market District where Veth Bernardo's home is, you do catch a view of Blud, who's walking by with a massive hammer over his shoulders,

and looks like he's helping drag one of these beasts from... Blud, Blud, Blud, Blud. Jester, hurry! Make sure Mama stays inside. There's weird things going on. I don't know if she just got my message, but I tried to tell her there's weird stuff. Rude is stuck to Exandria.

Don't let her go outside, because, I don't know, there's crazy mages that apparently have broken free and stuff, and I don't know. Yeah, that's honestly accurate. Tell her as much as I can remember. Okay, take care of her. Something spooked a bunch of sea beasts to wander into this city, and a few of us kind of home-guarding folks

went ahead and helped the Crownsguard for a moment. But as far as I know, your mother is safe. I'll check for you. Okay. Spook some secrets? I'll explain. That explains the... Okay, yeah, I was wondering about the big...

Okay, yeah. What? Hi, everyone. It's been a while. Yeah, yeah. Hi, Blued. Hi, Sup. Oh, Veth is going to be so sad she missed you. Let's keep going. Yeah.

Eventually, coming to the outside of the Bernardo residence, you can see, while the door is closed, there are a number of small boots that are currently sitting on the outside of the front door. Hold on. Standing at the front door, I will try to hold a reed and send a message. Beth, hello. Ha ha, guess what?

We are coming for a visit, all of us. Beth, you hear this while you've gathered the wildlings that are nearby. The shorter range ones seem to be okay. In the midst of all this chaos, to keep them protected, you hear suddenly the voice of Caleb in your mind. Am I home? You're home. Okay.

Ah! Ah! I assume I can reply to this message. Please do. We're home. Door's unlocked. Come on in. It's a mess. Forgive the mess.

Just come in. Come in. Okay, we are at the front door. We are coming in. It's all of us. Hello, family. Hello. What's up? mess just come in come in okay we are at the front door we are coming in it's all of us hello family everything is very stressful right now the world has been turned upside down wait wait what what's happening here? Do you know? I have a fucking teenager. He's a monster. He only thinks about himself. He's trying to grow this stupid mustache, but he can't, he can't do it. And he's just on my case all the time

slamming doors and I lock him in his room. He unlocks the door because I taught him how to pick locks. Take it from me that it's not good to lock your child in a room. Well, I know, but he keeps Hi. Hi, everyone. Hi. You look great.

Oh, thank you. I just was it's a long day. Honey, what's all the commotion? Oh, hi, everyone. Hi. You look great. Oh, thank you. I just was... It's a long day, but... Honey, what's all the commotion? Oh, hi, everyone. I didn't realize we had company coming, but the other wildlings are safe. I'm holding onto them. Their parents come and pick them up.

Yeah, we've had some campers. You know, the camp that I run, Wild Mount Wildlings, wild out? Wild out! Some of the campers were almost ready for a break, but they were still there, and all sorts of magic went haywire, and I thought I'd better bring them here just for safety.

So they're staying here for a few days, and Luke has gotten it in his head that he wants to be part of the solution. He wants to go fight these sea creatures and form an adventuring party and I've grounded him for a month. How old is he now again? You know, he's a, let's not. Halflings mature a little bit faster. We're saying that halflings mature a little bit faster,

and so he's, you know, teenagers, you can never really tell. Just don't question it. Don't ask about it. You can't be teenagers, you can't, but calendars, you can. The years just fly by. Yeah, and also, I took him to the Fey Realm once, and time got a little wonky.

What? Let's just say that. So he's a teenager. 16, 17, 15, 13. Just, you know, whatever feels right. That's a spread. Well, Beth, I don't know if it is good or bad for you, but we do have something to talk about that will distract you from the everyday. Oh, all right. what is it, Caleb? Yeza, you're welcome to join us. Maybe we should all sit down and discuss a few things.

Sure, sure, I'll, uh, I'll gather some benches and leans over and whispers in your ear, shh, that's how old he is. Oh. Oh. I, to, to be fair, I was drunk for most of his childhood. Benji's gathered. The Mighty Nein. I pull some food out of my bag and set it out for everyone.

Fair enough. A quick little snacking circle is presented here in the ramshackle teenager chaos that is the Bernardo residence. I'll just state I'm fine, but anybody else? No. Oh, good. That's nice. I feel good about that.

If you had taken more, I would have felt a little put off. That's fine. This is all very pleasant, but we've been assembled for unpleasant reasons. You should really just get on with it. Okay, uh, Cerberus Assembly, Global Fuckery,

uh, Moon not where it's supposed to be, Magic Gone Haywire, Trent Icathon possibly still in prison. I imagine that was a montage sequence. Oh, yes. And we're getting the nine back together to try to deal with it.

How are we going to deal with that? What, are we trying to, like, shove the moon back up? I don't understand. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So if, if, if... If Trent is possibly free... What, what about everyone else that... Does that mean everybody is now just free? Well, we probably have to inquire

if the inmates are out of the asylum. And what's the general plan? Are we heading back to where you were? Is there a coalition gathering? Are we gathering our forces to attack en masse? It's all happened so fast. It has literally been one hour for Beauregard and I. If Trent is the most dangerous target, should we... does scrying still work?

We can try. Certainly? We can try. Certainly. We can certainly try. Yeah. Honestly, though... Believe it or not, Ludinus Delef might be our biggest target right now. But he's so nice! I don't understand! No, he's a douche. Well, yeah, but I

mean, he's like, kind of stupid, kind of sweet. You know what I mean. Do you know who we're talking about? Yeah, he's the one with the long hair, right? Oh, yeah. But he likes me. Oh. He captured Caleb and I, and he

put Caleb in one of those collars that we put Trent in. Oh. What a douche, I hate him. Yes. She's getting it. I don't know, I am struggling for an answer myself. Perhaps we need to go home. What's home?

Wreck Centrum for me and Beauregard and Yasha. Back to the Assembly? Well, we can see if anything has changed. Put your mind at ease first. See if Trent is where you left him. Maybe all is well. Jester, are you still able to scry?

Uh, I don't know if I have it prepared today. I could... I'm ready to heal again. It's okay. I've got... I've got this new ability. The Traveler taught it to me. Don't worry. I will remember very quickly how to scry.

Are you using... Flash recall. Flash recall, okay. Yes, I am. Okay, yes, so I'm going to scry. That's a fifth level spell, correct? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Hold on. Yeah, use the fifth level. I'm sure nothing bad will happen today. Wait. We're fine. Nicodranas, it's a party. The bed is drying. I'm just going to unprepare mask your wounds. All right, I'm ready. Let's do it.

Hold on. I got to get all my dicks out. Oh my god, they've gotten... Man, you've really improved. I know, they're really beautiful. They're just gorgeous. I have one made out of jasper now. Hold on, let me show you. Yeah, there's a lot of new ones.

She's very proud. You got it. Never mind, I'll tell you later. Okay. I'm going to... She's very proud. You guys, never mind. I'll tell you later. Okay. I'm going to... Who am I thinking about, Trent? Uh-huh. Okay.

Okay. Salo. Wait, Trent or Ludinus? Trent. Trent. Okay. All right. You remember him.

He tried to kill us on the ground. He's the old one with the ugly... Jaundice. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and he was like, okay, I remember. Ruined by life, you remember the one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He fired at my house, yeah. Okay. Oof. Oh, traveler. ruined by life you remember the one fire in my house yeah okay oh traveler come to me right now so that I can see Trent the rest of you watch as Jester sits within her haphazardly,

but curly and somewhat beautifully doodled scry circle, whereas in your mind's eye, Jester, you feel the robed arms of the Traveler grab yours and place them in the center of the circle, and the voice comes into your ear. Well, let's see if we can have a look-see. Okay. You feel your consciousness pull from your mind

and then shunt it right back into where you are, and the Traveler goes, well, sorry, I got to run. Ow! What a stupid flash recall. It didn't work. It didn't work? Why did it work? Oh, well, it didn't work. It didn't work? Oh, well, it didn't work. I think we're probably just going to have to go there.

Yeah, fair. What if he has... What if Trent already broke out and he has one of the things? One of the necklaces. One of these, and I just hold it up. Yeah, one of our necklaces. One of these, and I just hold it up. Yeah, one of our necklaces. One of these, and I hold mine up. Do we need to give this to one of our own,

in case he's clocking a certain member of our group? Oh, Caleb, do you still have one on? Let him come. Okay. Confidence, I like it. I've got to just say, there's a lot going on, apparently. There's big things moving. There's clearly going to be battles ahead.

This is perfect for us we have a thing that we can fix we can get together we know it this is this is what you do in a crisis you find the thing you can fix even if it's not the big problem we're not

really necessarily big problem people but are you saying we're not going to push the moon back into space? I think maybe we can work up to it. I'm not against it, but this is someone we know. This is a threat we know. This is someone that we've dealt with, and I feel a little responsible.

No, maybe you're right. For years, Caleb and I have been relentlessly tracking and studying the server's assemblies every step. But this is big. So maybe we should just start with what we can fix. He's dangerous on his own. Joined with lewdness, I don't even like to think about it, so... Let's start with Ikithon. We can play whack-a-mole later. Alright, Rex and Troom, yeah? Alright. Veth? Uh, uh, yeah, yes?

No presh. Oh! But... you would be very welcome with. You see, the thing is, Caleb, I've got, it's not just Luke who is a nightmare. It's these other kids too. I can't, there's sea beasts that are coming to our shores. And I owe it to these people's, these children's parents to take care of them, and I...

You can have them stay with Mama. They'll only see like one or two. I don't know if our insurance covers sending children to a whorehouse. Um... I'm sorry, brothel. The Lava Chateau is not... Sending children to a whorehouse. I'm sorry, brothel. The Lava Chateau is not... A brothel. Speak easy with benefits. Yeah, that's better. Besides, I'm such...

It's THE whorehouse, thank you. You know... Yes, it was always so nice about letting me... letting me go, but it's different now. I've got... I've got... I've got responsibilities here, and I... I just don't think I can go. Poof! A door slams open and you hear a voice go, Mom, don't be a coward! You see emerging from one of the nearby doors, lockpick still in hand, a now older Luke, his hair dark with a colored streak in it, makeup under his eyes, a real nasty mustache, kind of starting the peach fuzz grow in with his cool street clothes.

And he's like, Mom, you do this every time. You have to be an adventurer for everyone. That's our calling. Sometimes being an adult means saying no to something. And you're... If I leave, you're going to run away again. And your father will

go mad with worry. And I need to watch out for you. And I need to watch out for these children. And sometimes that is the right decision. And you're just going to let your friends go out there and possibly get beaten by moon things? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

They're very strong and capable. Well, five of them are. He's gotten really strong, Beth. He's gotten really strong, Beth. He's gotten so strong. Are those implants? Yes. Look, you can ground me all you want, but I learned it from watching you, okay?

You're not going to go out there and help save the world when I want to do the same. I want to learn the same things you did, that you taught me. I want to change the world around me. I want to go with my friends, and I want to do good things. Young man, you do not take your mother's love for granted.

Oh. You understand me? Listen to your Uncle Caleb. I can't believe you are. He just runs back into his room and slams the door. I go over and I put a lock on it and I lock it. I go over to the door and knock on it

and say, your mustache looks really cute though. Don't encourage him. It is. It's looking so much better. He's also, he's done this thing where he like... Is he tattooing? It's not real, though. I'll give you a tattoo, Luke. No, don't give him a tattoo.

Not until he's 18, which is in a few years. At least one. I'm sorry, you can see that things are just not, they're not right right now, and I can't, I just can't leave this, but, you know, I'll catch you on the next one, I guess. Well, my friend, we understand, of course. But do know that without you, we do not add up to nine. But of course we understand. And we will miss you.

If you... You can't reach out, can you? No! Have you tried? Yes! Try again right now, just in case. Okay. I'll try again.

Who am I reaching out to? Just me, just across the room. All right. I'll cover my ears. Okay, okay, okay. Did you say something? Yes, I'm... Beth, I'm talking to you right now. Can you hear me? Are you say something? Yes, I'm... Beth, I'm talking to you right now.

Can you hear me? Are you talking yet? We want you to come. Stop doing that. Are you speaking yet? Yes, and you can hear me. Can you hear me? I mean, I can...

Oh, fuck. I can hear you. There's a massive flaw in this experiment. Oh, oh, 19. You take eight points of psychic damage And Beth you did not hear anything Just tell me when you're starting This is the worst day of my life Jester it's alright

There's a million other things you can do. You're so capable. How am I going to call everybody? Kingsley's probably worried sick. I talk to him all the time. I saw Kingsley recently. He came back and helped us track down Luke when he ran away from home.

Got all the way to Allfield. Wow. Damn. Your son is dope. Please, just don't. He's probably listening at the door. You're dope, Luke. No!

Anyway, just go before I cry, alright? You're sure? I'm sure. Alright. But you're wearing this sparkly dress. It's spicy. Alright, yeah. We respect your decision.

I don't. Yasha, you don't have to say the inside part out loud. I'm sorry, but everybody else is thinking it. You're going to pick a bunch of kids over us? A bunch of... I don't agree. I don't agree. Sorry. Just go. I just can't...

I can't look at you. Yes, come here and kiss me. Okay. Just rub my shoulders to take my mind off it. All right, I got you. Oh, God, go fast. Make the circle fast. Fast. Awkwardly start to draw a chalk circle on the floor.

He's going lower, he's going lower, quick. You can take it outside if you like. This takes a minute. Are we drawing a circle? Let's let them finish their work. I'll give you a massage. Okay, just two or three more chalk strokes and we are done. I love you that I love you so much. We don't die You're not gonna die. You're the I hope you don't die because of you

Hi Oh fuck you! Wow. Come on, honey. Yeza goes and helps you into the back room and kind of looks over his shoulder at the rest of you and mouths, Good luck. Closes the door.

What the shit? Did that seem encouraging or sarcastic, that last one? I'm kind of having a moment there. Good. Yeah, no, okay. Good. Okay, so, to the Cobalt Soul in Rexxentrum. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hopefully their teleportation circles are still open. We are about to find out. All right. Three. Oh, wait, I was supposed to give him a heads up. Oh, no. You can, but can we? Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. All right, everybody get ready to run in here. As you hit the final mark, the runes glow in a circle. This brilliant light begins to emanate and thrum from the center, and you know for a brief moment you have the opportunity to teleport through the circle. One by one, you all run through, Caleb being the last one. We'll see you soon, friend.

And the moment that he travels through, he watches a lock disengage from a room, slams open, and Luke, with a pack over his shoulder, goes running to the circle. Oh my god. Blue, blue, blue. Peach fuzz! As you arrive at the opposite side,

you return to the familiar interior transition chamber in one of the many basements of the Rextra Trim Archive of the Cobalt Soul. Here in this large marble room, beautiful smooth pillars, two of the Cobalt Soul guardians sit there immediately jumping to consciousness as if they were in the

middle of a nap, or at least one of them was lost in the moment. Stand up. One of them, you see a massive orc gentleman in long, Kobalt Soul robes, immediately going into a defensive stance before recognizing amongst you what he refers to as, Ah, High Monk Beauregard. I did not realize you were here with my friends. Where's Eudala Fon? High Monk Beauregard, I did not realize you were here with my friends. Where's Eudolaphan? She's currently up at the crown in the castle of Ungebach. They're trying to deal with the chaos abound.

Who is this? And points back as you all turn to look and see the snotty teenager, Bernardo. Oh my gods, your mother is going to kill me, and I don't mean that figuratively. She could kill me in my sleep. What are you doing here, Luke? Chill. Oh my god. I pop a vein in my forehead and produce a flame in my hand.

Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. Uncle K. No, no. No. Oh, my God. No. She is going to kill you. So what?

She's not going to kill me. I'm fine. Guys, I mean, you've been teaching me magic for years. I've been learning at that stupid camp and counseling other kids for years. I'm a senior counselor. I can do this. Yes, yes, you're very talented. I have told you many times, but you're what? Seven, eleven, sixteen years old? Age is just a number.

He is a senior counselor, Caleb. I teach stealth. I teach beginner spellcraft. Caleb. I teach stealth. I teach beginner spellcraft. No. I teach beginner alchemy. I'm pretty sure I can do what you guys are doing. Hit me. Hit me. Do it.

Yeah, hit her. Let me see what you got. You should do what she says. If I hit you, Aunt Bo's going to hit me back. No, no, no. She won't. She won't. She won't. Let me see what you got. If I hit you, Aunt Bo's gonna hit me back. No, no, no, she won't, she won't, she won't. Let's go. Hit me. Let me see what you got. Really? Yeah.

Oh. Okay. I'm gonna see if you can join the Mighty Nein, Luke. Okay. Yeah, just watch out, because I'm coming in hot. Oh, I'm so scared. All right, all right. I do sort of like this wind-up with my left hand, but then strike with my right.

Go ahead and roll an unarmed strike against Yasha. 18. Should I roll? Are you going against your armor class? Are you just trying to take it and dodge, or are you trying to capture his fist? I'm trying to capture his fist. Yeah, you go ahead and roll an unarmed attack roll.

Okay, okay, okay. Ooh, that's going to be very high. Okay. That is going to be a... Uh, 22. How do you catch Luke's fist? I just don't even look and I catch his fist. Oh!

Oh! I'm not even doing anything Luke I just gotta pull it back turn around you don't understand okay okay okay look maybe you know hand to hand isn't your forte. Why don't you try one of those spells that Caleb has been working on you? Why don't you hit me with something? With a spell?

Yeah. Sure. Yeah, hit Bo. All right. I got something here. Oh, boy. All right, um, I got something here. Oh, boy. I'll use one of Uncle Caleb's spells.

All right. I'll use Caleb's Produce Flame. Okay. Luke, Luke, Luke, don't you have anything more powerful than that? I sort of draw a symbol on my hand. I take out a little incense and rub it down my wrist. Oh, wow. It takes a long time to draw the specific runes. I mutter something in Zemnian.

I'll cover my eyes to make it more fair. I counterspell it and put him in a wall of force in the shape of a sphere. You are grounded. I was right there. Your mother said it. We are dealing with people who could murder you in an eye blink.

You are not ready for what we are talking about, Luke. You are skilled. I am proud of you. You need time. Time to grow your mustache a little better. I know. But... Look, I know I'm not... Obviously obviously I'm not as strong as you guys. And I'm probably not strong enough to do what you're about to do, but I'm also not, I'm not a kid who plays with dinosaur toys anymore.

I can be something in the world. And when you all started out you were nothing I mean you started as nothing and you had each other to rely on and you had a dream to be something better for the world I know that you guys normally do things for justice and because it's right and because you're called on it, but sometimes sometimes you got to do something for yourself. Caleb, why'd you teach me all these spells if I can't use them? And Aunt Bo, you can't tell me that you didn't feel the same way as I did

when you were a teenager. Aunt Yasha. Don't you Aunt Yasha. I know for a fact that you did not listen to your mother. That she died. I did. Weren't you like five? You're like four years old.

I don't even know how old you are now. Aunt Chester. Yeah? Without my mom here, aren't you kind of missing one of the members of the Chaos Crew? Oh. He makes such a good point, he should totally come with us. Uncle Ford. Oh, I'm rooting for you, kid. Go ahead.

Look, he likes you so much, he started talking with his old accent. Oh! He only does it when it's really special. My mom always calls you weak, inept, Slow, stupid. She says that you only think Counterspell is a spell that helps you do math. But I know that you're a great man who can do great things. You had a captain who inspired you,

and I need the same thing. Holy shit. I really like this kid. He's got game. I won't lie, he has game. He always has. Beth is going to kill us. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. We haven't heard

from the wisest of all of us, Caduceus. What do you think? Oh, no, the glasses are off. I think we could all learn something today. We don't have time. Everyone needs to help. We'll do our best to take care of him. You will do your best not to be reckless.

Not to try and be a hero. Let life decide what you need to be. And if things went wrong, well, we would have to save everyone anyway he's here Luke, not the reckless that would look pretty cool right here I agree, I will totally put that on your shoulder like cool, like cursive all right you listen to me if you come with us i reserve the right to send my godson back at any time we are just doing some fact finding to begin here and if i feel like it is too dangerous Ja. Ja, mein Onkel. Sehr gut.

Oh, this is going to be interesting. I cast Death Ward just now. I'm going to start right now. No. Let's just burn that. All right. With this new component to our situation, I recommend we take some time in the tower tonight.

Rest up, prepare, even before sniffing around. Because if that lunatic is free, we need to be ready. Agreed. Yeah? You, at this point, recognize that there is a berobed,

mid-level ranking official of the Cobalt Soul that, Beauregard, you recognize as Ovedo, a half-elf with a very, very short hair, except for a rat tail on the back that has just been watching this whole thing from the doorway. Still rocking the rat tail?

Yes, it's a statement about how I want to express myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's so cool. Beauregard, I was told you and your friends had arrived, and things have been a bit strange. Are you, do things have been a bit strange. Are you... Do you have a moment? Yeah. Right. So, we've had the archive doors

closed to the public since this event happened. Numerous wards and enchantments across the city have been ruined. We... Kind of leans into you a bit. We've discovered wards on the masked vault were recently dispelled

and the vault was possibly infiltrated. And Belitha has been unable to get past any of the newly set wards and has not seen anyone get in or out. It seems amongst these walls there are now new traps that have arrived,

and we require some assistance. The Curator is still with the King's Council. Would you be able to take a look at us? For us. Yeah. All right. This is bad. These are vaults that literally house a ton of things that can just destroy

Exandria and the existence that we know it, so we should probably roll. Whoa! An alarm goes off throughout the full vault's soul archive. What is that? Shit. I'll look to it. Look, go ahead to the Vellum basement, where the Master Vault's entrance is. Talk to Velitha. Velitha and Jumon should be there. They'll go ahead and take you. I'll see what this fuss is about. Follow me.

Do you dispel the words around him? I wait for Luc to give a push or two. Yeah, I go to follow you guys, and I just slam into the side of the wall. Oh! Just so you don't forget. And it clears, and we follow after Beauregard. We'll take care of you, Luke.

I'll take care of you. I know you will. Oh, you. I'll take care of you. I know you will. Oh, you at least walk in front of me. Oh, okay. Go. Oh, okay. I am out. I am heading to the vellum. All right.

All of you following behind Beauregard through the archive, and you can see that the energy here, which is usually very controlled and calm, is definitely anxious. There's just a tension that hangs in the air, and you're uncertain if the energy here, which is usually very controlled and calm, is definitely anxious. There's just a tension that hangs in the air, and you're uncertain if that is just the archive or the city itself at large. You follow Beauregard through one of the long hallways

behind one of the kind of large storage chambers that sits, and there is a doorway with a staircase that descends below that turns into kind of like a bean-shaped chamber. Down there, you can see in this room, there are rows of high shelves that fit into the curvature of the room, cabinets that fill the center and line the walls. And there are two of these soul guardians

kind of keeping vigil nervously. As you step down, you can see Valithr, who is another half-elf, with a long, black mane that goes to their mid-back that's bounded multiple places to give almost like a swinging drape-like look to it

that's been tethered in four different joined places. Turns to you. I, Boragard, I am happy you have come. And with your companions as well. I saw no one enter. I saw no one leave. I only noticed in the past hour or so that the cabinet had been shifted.

And they point over, and you can see one of the cabinets is slight, like pushed an inch away where a hidden hinge currently holds the entryway to the chamber beyond. You see there's a male Icefura, kind of a small feathered fellow with a deep red that goes to black at the tips, plumage across his body, who kind of looks over. I saw nothing, saw nothing, nothing wrong like any normal day except all the not normal things happening outside. Uh,

you know, six years in the shift without an issue. Inside check. Make an inside check. Nineteen. Nineteen. Pretty decent. Uh, you get the sense he's telling the truth and is just really, really nervous about

what's gonna come down on him from upon high. I'm hoping to take care of this before the High Curator comes back. I sent in an old friend to help already. Who? An investigator. Helped me on a personal problem I had, a little pinch in the past. Dyron?

No, no, no. Aggie. It's a little rough around the edges, but he speaks many tales of his past exploits. So maybe go help Aggie. Do I remember an Aggie? You have never met an Aggie in your life. What? All right.

Fine, whoever did this, and keep me out of trouble. Beauregard, I mean, you were once... Just move. Okay, fine. The two then move over and... Like that, basically. Nice.

Shift the large cabinet and shelf set apart from the wall, and you can see there's a stone wall behind it and just a very tight doorway that kind of curves at about a six-foot apex. It just goes into a long, lightless tunnel.

What would be your marching order? Uh, what? Oh, shit. I'll go first. No, no, no. Bo is definitely leading the way. I turn around with a pearl in hand to Luke and using

my spell mastery of fortune's favor, I place it to Luke's head, cast it, pattern swirls around the forehead, and you have one luck for the moment. Luck? One reroll.

Alright, so it's Beauregard and who else? My mom always said that... It's kind of lame. Are you going to listen to your mom now? You're right. If she doesn't like it, then I'm hardcore luck.

Make it make sense, kid. All right, who's after Beauregard? I, oh. All right, we got a Yasha. Who's after Yasha? I'll be behind Yasha. I'll follow Jester We got a Yasha. Who's that for Yasha? I'll be behind Yasha. I'll follow Jester. Yeah, you will.

Then. I'll go next so we can put Luke between the two of us. So I'm there if anything goes really wrong. Then Caleb. Oh, we really think I should be taking up the rear? Okay. No. Do you want to switch with me, Caleb?

Do you feel safer in front of Ford? He's very powerful. I feel Luke and I would be safer between any of you. Or, you know, Yasha could feel a little less worried about things and maybe, like, let go of some issues and go to the back of the line for once. I've been listening for a week. Thank you.

You come stand in front of me. Very well. Go. You come stand in front of me. Very well. Right. Progressing single file into this long hallway, it continues like slightly winding back and forth for about 60, 70 feet until it comes to a heavy adamantine reinforced door covered in deep carved runes.

And these are runes that were previously there? They were previously there and they previously were part of the magic that sealed this vault door outside of very specific keys were presented. Usually upon approach, they begin to glow a dull blue as a reminder as to not to fuck with it.

But as you approach, they are cold and lightless. Shit. All right, you said the door is open? It's currently closed in front of you, but you don't see any of the runes functional. I'm going to see if I can open the door. Slowly, quietly.

Okay. It opens ever so slowly to the left. As it continues to shift, you enter a storage chamber. It's a wide, oval chamber, 50 feet across that appears mostly empty, with central areas and some edges filled with crates and cases, some heavily chained and reinforced. Small lecterns hold chain-bound tomes, and a central chandelier of magical glowing orbs hangs overhead.

The only three of its eight orbs are functioning with an occasional flicker. Also, as the door opens, in the stone floor in the center of the chamber, you watch as it begins to shift into the shape of a tooth-filled grin, and a voice emerges. Welcome, Brynn. You are nothing if not reliable. It feels good to be free. I've had so much time to ponder. Another mouth emerges from one of the nearby stone walls as that one vanishes.

I can now see how solitude forged you. I now know the greatness that can come from endless quiet and conjecture. Another one above the door as you walk in

forms. At the edges of my mind, many seek me in silence. I wonder if any partnership would meet my standards. I have much to thank you for, my exemplary pupil. I close the door. Well, fuck. Was he in there? Was he really in there?

I don't think so, no. Well, then how was he able to talk? Because I want that. I think he just left a message for us. Okay. All right. We might need to hear the rest of that message. I crack the door. The message continues.

It is only fitting you have not taught me. And I return renewed. I must confirm my theories, for they keep many secrets beneath this library. You are welcome to learn what I have, Bran. And the mouth vanishes back into the stone. You also, glancing past into this chamber,

see a section of the floor is cleared by what looks like a localized explosion. The floor itself scorched black and nearby chests destroyed around it. The ground coated in splinters and errant iron. A hunched

figure crouches beyond, kind of looking confused by the recent sound. Daniel, if you wouldn't mind joining us at the table real fast. What? What? You sneaky! You sneaky!

You suck! Oh! What a fucking demon! Who knew? Who knew? You. So, what do I see? Well, actually, if you wouldn't mind describing what it is they see. You see a short, slightly grey-haired, long-haired dwarf.

He was... There's a look that he used to be an adventurer back in his day but he's sort of let himself go. He is wearing a blue kilt which is which is low enough to hide his decency, but it does swing low. He, his beer gut is sort of going over the top of it, and underneath that is his sporen, which you can very rarely get to. He has no weapons that you can see, but in his holsters,

there are two green bottles of red tonic wine. And none of them get it. None of them get the reference. And they're both half-drank, and he seems to be professional professional but having a fun day. How far away is he from me? He's about 20, 25 feet from you. I quickly close the distance and grab him and slam him to the floor.

I would like you both to make contested strength checks, please. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh, icky. Oh, good. Good. I am 14. Ooh. Ooh, icky. Oh, good, good. I am 14. Six.

Fuck yeah! Here we go. With unexpected fervor, this stranger, in the midst of a very, very heavily guarded part of the Cobalt Soul Archive, spins around and prevents you from grasping. When I'm behind Beau, I uncork one of the bottles and I go, Drink! Nice try, but drink!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is fucking foul what you drink. It is. It is real bad. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you the guy? Are you the guy they sent in to investigate this shit? I could be any guy you want me to be.

Are you Aggie? Aye. Aye, that's me. Oh, my reputation precedes me. Unbelievable. Without being too rude, who the living fuck are you? I am a tenured expositor of the cobalt soul, a high monk, Beauregard Lionette.

Fuck you. I'll drink to that. I can't see back here. What's going on? All right, come in, come in, come in, come in. Oh, fuck, there's more. Yes. And, uh, is that a little boy? I don't trust this guy.

He looks over 30. So, what, um, sort of creche is this? What's a creche? Oh, is that a British word British word did I fuck up? Oh, no, it's it's a babe It's a babysitting thing for small children Hey, yeah Don't don't insult me then explain it to me I'm part of the mighty fucking nine, all right? No. Well, no.

I don't know. He doesn't have the tattoo yet, but it's coming. Thank you. In that case, I walk up to the little boy, I uncork my other bottle, and I give him a drink. Nine. Nine. I. Nine.

I'm sorry. You? I will try it, though. Culturally insensitive, but fine. Not what I was expecting. None of us were. All right, they sent you in to investigate ahead of us, so what have you found?

What have I found? Yeah, like... Yeah, what have you found? Question for Matthew, what have I found? Indeed. There's signs of an explosion. Right, something big went fucking boom, there.

Yeah. And it wasn't me. It was not me. I was here after that. However, you do notice that nothing seems to be out of place or taken. The dust that sits in this chamber seems to have been, other than the explosion, undisturbed, and there's

no other exit out of here. If I were to hazard a guess, unattended baggage was here. If I were to hazard a guess, unattended baggage was here. And a city. Oh boy.

Whatever was here and pardon my Zemnian fucking isn't it? Yeah, I get that too. Can I summon the Star Razor? What the fuck? Well, you

don't have one of those. And can I cast See Invisibility and look around the room and see if there's anything that... Indeed you can. As the magical sword apparates in your grasp and the runes glow along it, also a familiar glow meets your eyes

as you glance across the chamber. And there are no real magical artifacts through in the room, though some of the chains themselves are enchanted and magically locked, you do get a slight shimmer behind one of the

tapestries that kind of sits on the far left part of the wall. You get a faint little, looks like a piece of metal that wasn't there before. Just having summoned the sword, I give Bo and Caleb a very familiar look, a piece of metal that wasn't there before. Just having summoned the sword, I give Beau and Caleb a very familiar look, a nod of the head,

and then I will throw an Eldritch Blast towards the Shimmer. Don't attack for me. This did not go well in Hamlet. No balls. That's a 15. 15 hits the edge of the wall. The outside of the tapestry blows back and part of it gets torn.

It impacts the metal. You can see it leaves a black blasted mark across the stone. But it looks like there is a metal handle that was previously obscured and made invisible that nobody else can see. The rest of you just watched Ford attack a wall. Ha ha! Fuck your handle!

I, seeing him attack the wall, I then, not knowing what's going on, also attack the same part of the wall. Okay. Just to help. Just with your fists? No, no, I headbutt it. You headbutt it?

Yeah. Okay. You rush up to the part of the wall that's there, and go ahead and roll an attack roll for me. Uh, 15? 15. All right. You go ahead and strike where he aimed true with this shot

and slam it with your head. You feel something metallic that wasn't there previously that kind of hinges upon impact, and the back of the stone wall shifts open before you. Now that's confronting a problem head on. That was really good. That was really good. Thank you. As you're congratulating your new friend over there,

I also need you to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, I am so beyond excited to get to say this. Nine. Fuck yeah! That's better than a nat 20, baby! Okay.

The rest of you watch the grin of accomplishment come across Aggie's face as a dark... A dark rune begins to appear on the ground where he was standing before this doorway, and you watch as it suddenly bursts in a cloud of dark shadow that takes the form of a skull. Oh, no. Oh, I have an aura of protection, so you have an actual plus five to that.

Ooh, then it would have been a 14. 14 still fails. Fuck! You do take 38 points of necrotic damage. Oh! And find yourself instinctively falling to your knees and vomiting onto the ground. I slowly push Luke behind me.

No, no, I want to see this! Caduceus, help him! I'm trying to figure out what happened. How do you feel right now? Oh, um... Um, I am sorry if this is offensive, but are you a horse? You can just say nay.

I was about to say. I've gotten that before and I was told that's what you're supposed to say to it. So, nay. No. Are you going to throw up or anything? No more than you. I'll be fine. I noticed the kid looking at me and I brushed myself off.

I am really injured, but I'm playing it cool. Okay, we're going to just do a little... I look like a very small, fat John Wick, by the way. I'm just going to do a little Cure Wounds at level 2 just to bring this back. Go for it. This is silly at this point. Go ahead and roll that.

That's 18, just to bring this back. Go for it. This is silly. Go ahead and roll that. That's 18, just to bring that back. 18 hit points yield to you, Aggie. Thank you kindly, mystery creature. Now that all that has happened, what do we see down this hole? Beyond this, you can see the hallway continues beyond this open entryway for about ten feet before it opens up into what looks like a balcony,

like a fifteen foot across balcony, with rails on both sides, except for in the middle where it's broken and just kind of vanishes off into darkness. And you can see there's a faint bit of firelight crackling out of sight that is just alighting the edges of this balcony ever so faintly. You first.

All right. I fucking walk right in. All right. You walk through the door, and as you do, another strange mouth appears from the stonework throughout this chamber. It says, We have all done terrible things, Bren,

and we all must be punished for them. I still pay the price, and so too shall he. The Shadowhand must step into his own right. I will tell the Bright Queen of his betrayal. In this, he shall be made free to follow your path of pain. It is only through suffering are we made, Paragon. I shall make you better. You will be my proudest achievement.

He always was an absolute brick of shit. Perhaps we were too easy on him. Well, we'll have to kill him this time. Who just fucking said that? Did everyone else hear that? Yeah. More or less. All right.

Where is he? Imagine far from here at this point. Yeah, but he had to have left something behind for us. Anything else in that room with sea and visibility up? As you follow in behind Aggie at the top, this initial, like, 15-foot balcony area, it's like a circular platform that is part of a long chamber where the ceiling of it is only about 15 feet high, and the entrance continues outward. And you can see that break in the railing is actually where stairs descend onto a second lower balcony, about 20 feet ahead of that and below, where there's another railing and then another set of stairs that leads to a third and final

platform below, a descent into an area. From what you can tell, there is no immediate scene visibility in the space around you except beyond the edge of that room below you can see there are dozens if not a hundred or so of these small lockbox like doorways

embedded in the stone on that base floor and you can see from your invisible sight there are protective runes across most of them floor, and you can see from your invisible sight, there are protective runes across most of them. Oh, shit. It's a veritable trove of horrible stuff. Every box

is alight, and there is a protective ward over each of them. Any idea where we begin, Beau? Do I have any idea where we begin? I mean, you can descend the stairs. I do it. There we go. Okay.

Watch for invisible runes on the ground. I do not. I very confidently pick a rune that I see and I go up to inspect it because headbutting worked the last time, so... Okay. Stick with what you know. Yes. If anything, the headbutt made the last time, so... Okay. Stick with what you know. Yes.

If anything, the headbutt made me smarter, I feel. With Aggie descending the stairs before anybody else, kind of heading down to the secondary balcony, Ford, you kind of glance over the edge with your invisible sight and catch now what looks to be two more runic glyphs that are embedded in the stairs partway down as Aggie

just steps right on. No, don't do that! What? Huh? Aggie, I need you to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw for me, please. Plus five, plus five! There you go, shooter! Oh, 23! 23!

Fantastic! You watch as one of the runes on the ground begins to Oh, 23. 23. Fantastic. You watch as one of the runes on the ground begins to brightly light up and then explodes into another blast of concussive force. You just barely tumble forward and it hits you kind of in the back end of your calves and your ass, sending you tumbling down the stairs. Me kilt! No, me kilt! The rest of you get an ass-over-tea-kettle show

of Aggie's best and worst parts as you take 15 points of force damage. Okay. Tumbling to the bottom of the staircase to where the second invisible rune is. Wait, wait, wait, there's another, there's another! I need you to make another dexterity saving throw. But this does not have the bonus

because you've tumbled away from the floor. Say it, say it! Natural 20. Woo! Hell yes. As you tumble at the bottom of the stairs, beneath you, another glyph begins to alight with a deep crimson red,

and it's almost like a massive ethereal demon face seems to apparate to try and bite down on you, and you just leap out, kicking off of its briefly physical jaws and then land behind it as it dissipates the glyph itself becoming inert I'm just sucking the dice god's deck. Thank you for your mercy, oh wonderful god. I brush myself off.

I realize most of the dirt was there to begin with anyway. And I just saunter on as if... No, Aggie, stop walking. No, no, he's really quite good at this. It's pretty remarkable. My friends used to call me the Roomba. Wow.

I am filled with tonic wine and confidence and I'm desperately trying to impress these new... I keep fucking going. Great. Alright. We are now at the bottom of the staircase and you see now this third lower area is much wider than the others, about 20. Well, you're now at the bottom of the staircase, and you see now this third lower area is much wider than the others,

about 20 feet from end to end, and probably about 12 feet from floor to ceiling are just all of these various doors, these tiny little cubbies almost, like lockbox entranceways that are all... Many of them are chained and locked with different lock and key inputs. Like safe deposit box stuff?

Kind of, yeah. I stay with him. I stay right behind his shoulder just to be there in case he needs it. I stick my... If there's any hole in the wall, I stick my hand in the wall.

First box I see. I'm looking for clues here, man. Make a perception check. Bo, this is fantastic. He knows what he's doing. Wow! Say it. One! I've had the full experience! Quick, punch me in the face!

See Luke, this is what we call just a learning experience right here. This is just pay attention. It's a cautionary tale. Take notes. I'm young, but I'm not stupid. You're going to be great. As this mighty sailor man sits behind you, hand on your shoulder, you glance around and see what looks to be a partially ajar lockbox that is intricate and beautiful. There is all manner of carvings to it.

It draws your attention and must be important. Headbutt. Okay, roll an attack roll for me. Eleven. Okay. Your head slams into it because it's stationary. But as you do, all those beautiful, intricate carvings

begin to fill with, like, a dull, green, arcane power. Oh, shit! I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. No! They will literally let anyone into the Coral Soul these days. Plus five?

Oh, plus five. Oh, yeah, so... Come on, Daniel, do it. 19, 19. 19. Fjord, as you're holding his shoulders, this come on, 19, 19. 19. Ford, as you're holding his shoulders, this light appears and then bursts out right into the chest of Aggie. You take...

Oh, yeah. I'm not sure he knows what he's doing. Oh, say the number already. 76 points of force damage from the trap you set off. Oh, boy. You want to keep going? Because I am smithereens. That brings you to zero hit points? I am not only zero,

I am close to double damage, instant kill dead day. Well the problem with the disintegration trap Like the war of the worlds feature with Tom Cruise Ford you are suddenly dusted with what was once Aggie. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Amazing. How do the ashes taste like red tonic wine? This is precisely the thing I am talking to you about. What's going on? I'm still back here and I can't see. Wait, wait, he's going to be okay, right? Oh, I just now understand why there's messed up books behind us he's gonna be okay right if you have a scarf or some other cloth

please put it over your mouth and nose I kind of walk out from where he was. I'm like... Are you drunk? No, no. Oh, Admiral, are you okay? Yes, of course. I can handle anything, my love. What did she just call you? I don't know. I just go with it.

I don't know. No, you guys, we own, like, several ships. That makes him an admiral now. Yeah, he's the coolest. Oh, yes. Admiral. Admiral Tusktooth. Ah. Ah.

Name any four parts of the ship. I feel so bad for Aggie! All right, well, that happened. I would like to avoid the rune-covered drawers and sift through the dust on the ground and see if I can find any trace left by my former mentor. Ooh, good call. Make a perception check.

No, but Aggie's just, like, dead now. I don't know what else to do with... There was really not left with anything to work with there. I... Really, it's... That is a dirty 20. A dirty 20, all right. As you descend the stairs carefully... Literally, it's dirty.

You look across the floor and you notice... The first thing you notice is indeed there are footsteps in the dust that had gathered here. Fresher ones, not left by Aggie and his chaos. This microphone is making for fun percussives. But glancing through, you see a separate set of calm footsteps that have come before.

You also see what looks to be an empty vial of chiseled oblivion, the size of a champagne flute that lays on its side. Empty, but a few drops of black silver oil. You see, with that dirty twenty as well, not too far above it, one of the lockboxes that looks slightly ajar. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

Want me to check for traps? No. Well, hold on a second. Your mother taught you how to fiddle with things from a distance, yeah? Yeah, of course. Let's get back and maybe see if that is safe to open. All right. I'll cast Mage Hand.

All right, I'll cast Mage Hand. All right. And remember, dust in the wind. Just kidding. Good luck. Wow. Oh, oh! Guidance. Guidance. I take off my wild mount wildlings signature backpack and I reach in I pull out my thieves

tool I put them on my mage hand and I just say to everybody everybody get behind me stand back 30 feet and I try to, am I checking for traps or picking a lot? Checking for traps. Check for traps. Check for traps. Name. Neil is a side.

Investigation check. That's not very good. With a D4. No, that's okay. 15. 15, not too bad. There are a number of traps all throughout this wall. The adjacent cupboard that you had noticed initially does not appear to be trapped.

Our target, you're saying? Well, the first thing that you notice beneath this vial, at least. Right, with the drawer open. Yeah. A smidge. So, safe to open. Why don't you try to tug that open from here? Okay, I will give it a little tug.

Guidance. I'm a teenager. I know how to tug that open from here. Okay, I will give it a little tug. Guidance. I'm a teenager, I know how to tug. I was there. Oh no. I'm sure you've had that talk with your father. I'm the uncle, I do not need to have that one. They're very sex positive. We know.

As the entryway to this small storage opening slowly pulls open, the interior looks empty but for a small rolled up piece of paper. I'll bring the paper back and hand it to Caleb.

As you draw the paper out, another magic mouth appears on the outside of the door. That's it. Motherfucker. To bleed is to scab. To break is to mend stronger. To hurt is to learn.

But recklessness will only leave you dead and forgotten. I was called here to take of its blessing and release one of its forgotten nightmares. Arrogance thinks it can use me, but I am the master here. I am he who feeds on ambition. I am he who drinks of promise and leaves nothing unearned.

You also notice now, with your perception, and your passive perception in lower guard, which is crazy as well, not far from that, there is another adjacent box entryway that looks to be partially open. Over there. Yeah, rinse, repeat, Luke.

Check for traps? Go ahead. Yeah. Rinse, repeat, Luke. Check for traps? Go ahead. Okay. That's a guidance, and I hit you. Ow. Investigation? Investigation. 17.

17. It looks like there may have been a trap around it, but it has been either dispelled or removed previously. We're clear. You pull it open, and as you do, the voice trickles in once more, this arrogant fuck loving the idea of you having to hear his voice.

Let us take our spoils to where you began, sweet Bren. Where you were reborn into something beautiful. Dinner will be waiting. Speaking of bugging it. And as you look into this cubby, you see this small illusory image of a farmhouse. Just slowly floating and rotating before it burns in flames. Oh.

And all you can hear in your head is, to know we'll be waiting. Shit. Shit. Are you okay, Caleb? Hey. Hey. Look at me.

You've worked really hard to overcome all of this. You're beyond this. You're above this. Don't let him get in your head. I don't care that he taunts me. You're right. But he doesn't need to be breathing anymore. You know we're walking into a trap, right?

Not Tullish. Doesn't change anything. We should go to my tower. Discuss, rest. Get ready. Okay. I am not convinced about this.

By the way... He was looking at you, right? Not at me? I... Like I said, I'm young, but I'm not stupid. I didn't come just with nothing. I, I might, I might've swiped some stuff from, from the old man and the old lady. I pull out mom's weapon, the Aeorian Security Cannon. Holy shit.

I also pull out a bomb. Whoa! Whoa! Yes! Whoa! Fluffernutter! Love or not, I'll die! And I pull out one more potion. Now, I don't entirely know what this thing does, but Dad's been working on it for about a year.

He said that it would, he was making it for Mom to help her in battle if there was something that was ever like super bad, it would give her like a lot of strength. I don't know quite how much, but if it works, I could be totally yoked. Like Uncle Ford is. The kid stays.

Yeah, well, you and I alone will have a talk. Yes, sir, Uncle Caleb. Do we notice anything else? Is that the final... Make a perception check. Guidance. Actually, since we're here, I'll assist as well.

Alright, that is an advantage as you glance around the chamber. Just before you do, I'm gonna just reach into my pocket, take a little bit of dust, and just blow it into your eyes. I think you've experienced this before. So enjoy some true seeing for a little while. Bro, you could have given me a heads up.

I was just very excited to finally use this again. It's been a very long time. I've had a sitting there. It was going to go bad eventually. Perception? Yes. Natural 20. Oh!

Plus three, plus my perception, bringing us to a total of 27. Did you roll your d4? Yes, I did. Okay. Okay. So, first thing, much like how Ford had noticed from a distance, but now up close as you glance around,

you can see each one of these doors has a hidden, arcane title to it. The true name of what's held within itself has now become revealed to you, and you can see all manner of strange names and artifact numbers scratched in next to them. It's all kind of the hidden parts of this archive deep within the vault. The two that were ajar that you inspected, one reads, it seemed right above the empty vial,

it reads, Adrenas Sap. Adrenas Sap? Adrenas Sap. Adrenas Sap? The one that contained the illusory farmhouse is titled Aftiri Menthol. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Aftiri Menthol. Menthol? Menthol.

Menthol. Menthol is Chetney. Wrong story. Wrong story. I'm sure we're spelling that right. Yes. We'll confer in a bit. But nevertheless, if you'd like to make an arcana check

to see if you know what these mean. Oh, me? All of us? Yeah. Need a bit of help, Beauregard. Can I get assistance from Caleb? Perhaps you'd like to assist me. I've got a plus 16 to my arcana.

Oh, damn. Whoa. Hobolds all months, yo. Yeah. Are you assisting me, then? Yeah, let's just take it. Okay. 30.

Ooh! Ooh! So, you've been busy researching for many reasons for many years. Even since you were a teenager, you were buried in books even though it didn't befit your somewhat tough exterior. But Adrena Sap, you recall, is

an extremely rare and powerful ichor, unholy, distilled from the darkest of abyssal primordial fluids. It's used in rituals... Stop it! It's used in rituals to temporarily bind high worshippers of abyssal lords

to the latent powers of their dark realm, or to craft terrifying constructions from the realm of undeath and fiendish power. Shit. Now, the Aftirimental is a large arcanum binding stone of pale silver color used to capture extremely powerful beings for study, siphoning, or imprisonment.

Fragile and extremely rare, the few that are known usually bear some ancient entity from the Calamity Orb before. The process of creating one is long lost. Okay. So wait, we're gonna fight Trent and a thing? I think we're going to fight Trent bound to a thing. Or a thing bound to Trent.

Yeah. Fuck. What kind of thing? Would I have any recollection of nightmare, creature, abyssal, undeath, calamity? Would any of this? Go ahead and roll a religion check for me. Yeah. Okay. Huh.

29. 29. 29. I mean, there are many abyssal lords and terrifying abyssal creatures. Abyssal lords would be beyond the ceiling of such a device, but there is Kythora, the terror from the west. There is Omentus, Skyon of Ruin. There is Teyshtaval, the great unending fire.

There are numerous beings that come from the abyssal realms There is the Scion of Ruin, there is Teyrstavall, the Great Unending Fire, there are numerous beings that come from the Abyssal Realms that are terrifying creations throughout history. Many thought destroyed, bound, or forgotten. Who knows? I miss them. Okay. Probably the fire one, right? Yes. We're talking about something old, dark, old magic.

Uh... I don't know. Could be any number of things, but it's bad. Oh, no. Cool, cool, cool, cool. All right, well, the plan does not change. What, we just go back to your home where he's

Expecting us Clearly an ambush in wait What are you thinking We know more than he thinks we do He's gonna want to talk He loves to talk And if I don't go to him, he will eventually come to me. And he's going to hurt Essek.

I don't think we have much time. A day or two, I'm nervous to wait longer. I can make us all a really nice meal tonight. With Caduceus' help of course, you're a much better cook than I am. I hadn't volunteered but now, well done. Yeah, I'm... You did it. Okay. Well, start thinking about it. To figure out some kind of approach. Should we head back to my house

and set up shop? By your house, you mean the tower? Well, it's, uh, transportable. Your place or mine. Can you still bamf us to your house? And maybe that way we can rest there?

Recover that, um, magical energy? Uh, you want me to jump us to my childhood home, you're saying? No! Not yet! From the tower? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. We throw the tower up, we rest there tonight, and in the morning we head out. Alright. I didn't set up the tower in my

office. I've got a corner office. It's real great. A lot of mahogany. Yes, it's very highly polished. As you ascend the stairs to backtrack from where you came to prepare yourselves for what may lie ahead. Caleb, you can't help but glance over your shoulder once last time at that empty opening. As you all slowly return to the tower of Wyddergast

to plot and plan at dawn. We're going to go ahead and take a break here. Quick 15-20 minute intermission. Thank you all so much. We'll see you back here shortly. Hello, Critters.

This is Ashley Johnson, president of the Critical Role Foundation, our 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission that might sound familiar, to leave the world better than we found it. We partner with other nonprofits to raise funds supporting causes that mean a lot to us. And we allocate 10% of all donations to an emergency relief fund that allows us to provide immediate assistance in the case of natural disasters or other unexpected emergencies that require quick action. To learn more about the Critical Role Foundation and to donate, visit criticalrolefoundation.org. And we're back.

In the tense evening's rest in the Widogast Tower, knowing what awaits you the following day, what do you plot? Hero's Feast! Can I just do that right now? Sure, yeah. We're preparing. Yeah, we're cooking that right now.

Yeah, it's a joint Hero's Feast effort here. You guys are going to be so strong after that. What's the mechanical benefits? Remind us. It's been a while. I don't remember. Hold on. You are.

Okay, wait. Hold on. You all are cured of all diseases and poison. Aaron, have you diseased? Okay. You become immune to poison. You're immune to being frightened. You have all wisdom saving throws at advantage.

All saving throws. Huge. Your hit point maximum also increases by 2d10. So roll that for us right now. You roll. So you're going to roll for all of us? Yep. Come on, no pressure. I'll that for us right now. You roll. So you're gonna roll for all of us? Yep.

Come on, no pressure. I'll abandon it. Roll big. Double 10, double 10, double 10. Well, it's pretty, it's out. Nine! As it was written. So max HP goes up now?

By nine points, yes, yes, yes. All right, so consuming your hero's feast in the tense evening before your night's rest. Anybody else doing anything the night before? Ja, ja. Okay, so... Sorry, continue. Yeah, so I pull Luke up into the top of the tower.

Listen to me. You are going to stay close at hand. You take this, okay? This is a stone I have been carrying for a decade. It will bring you luck, all right? Attune that shit. So that's first of all. So you're giving him your luck stone?

Yeah, I'm handing over my luck stone to Luke, which is a plus one on everything. Thank you for passing the stone. I will replace it for myself with my ring of evasion. And also, I know we have so much to do. I am going to sit on the floor at the top of the tower with Luke

and reality bends around me for a moment and geometric shapes fill the air, and seems to split, and two, and in three to four seconds, you see a Caleb, and a Caleb, as I use Wish... To cast 5th level spell Simulacrum. Is that... Yeah. Hot.

I told you that I will have eyes on you, and I will. Yeah, I will. Yeah, he will. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, no. Very quickly, we need to share our components, okay? So we'll just divvy them up. Okay. Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf.

Okay, that should cover you. That will cover me. Okay, good. He is with you the whole time. Also, this last thing I'm going to give to you is a custom-made harness and saddle that I have made for Beauregard. Sometimes she rides me when I am a large thing

other than myself. Whoa, whoa, what? You're not here. Go away, Metapigeon. There's no riding going on. Except on me. I'm so sorry. So if this guy, yeah, if me, yeah, if this guy changes into something other than himself,

you will use this to hang on, okay? I can't thank you enough, Uncle Caleb. This has already been amazing, and... The other counselors at the camp are gonna just... They're gonna frickin' shit when I get back. I mean, there's this one counselor. Her name's Beth. I've been really trying to impress her lately.

And I mean, if I survive, I think she's going to really see me in a new light. You know, in some ways, you remind me of me when I was younger. Not all, in some ways, you remind me of me when I was younger. Not all, but some. And I can't help but think if I had a little bit better guidance, it would have turned out better. Well, unlike you, I have a really great teacher. And I give him a big hug.

Okay, keep that luck stone. And I cast Mind Blank on myself and go to bed. Alrighty. Anybody else? I go to Bo's bedroom and we have a great night like it's our last night on Exandria. Let's go, baby. I bust out a good bottle of wine. Very nice.

Does that conclude our evening's prep? Oh, dear. Well, me and Ford also do it. There's a lot of boning happening in this tower, okay? That's all. No one more competitive than Laura Bailey. In every way, apparently. I sleep soundly because the sounds of sex coming from the next room is just like home. So bad. Oh, no.

Horrible. I pray to the Wild Mother for earplugs at this point. All right. We're ready. An evening's rest, to certain degrees for some of you, finds its way as the... While you have no morning light to gauge, you sense at the end of your rest

the coming tension of the encounter that awaits you in the outside village of Blumenthal. Oh, jeez. Oh, God, oh, God. Hey, you're going to be cool, right? You're not going to lose your head in all this? Your brain? Don't lose either.

I will not lose my head, and I also will not lose my head. Twice as insufferable. Did you know I have keen mind? Did you know I have keen mind? Okay. All right. All right, so this is a very small town that I am from, so there's not much to walk through to get to what was my home. All right. All right, so this is a very small town that I am from, so there's not much to walk through to get to what was my home.

Huh? Oh, we're going in? This is it? Unless anyone has a grand idea. Oh, well, then I will drink this weird potion that I stole from my dad. As you chug the viscous liquid, it burns the esophagus, and it is only because you're being watched by all these people you look up to that you manage to finish it without vomiting.

But immediately, a wave of regret crawls over your mind as you feel that that singeing feeling become a boiling within your stomach. Suddenly you feel like your skin is hot and on fire. Uh-oh. And then

a coolness washes over you entirely like your insides are made of iron. You look down and you watch as your fingers now seem to move and wiggle with a speed and an experience beyond that which you've had before. You have this senseless lack of self-preservation. As you feel like you could make your mother proud lack of self-preservation as you feel like you could make your mother proud

with the amount of strength, knowledge, and capability that now buzzes at the tips of your fingers. Confidence has never really been your keen suit outside of arguing with your mother and before your friends, but in this moment,

amongst people you know from the tales have saved this world in ways that very few know, you might be the best of them. My dad's gonna kill me. But he can't. Let's go. If we're going to make our approach,

I'll say a prayer to the Wild Mother and I will use marine layer to disperse fog in 20 feet in every direction to obscure our approach. Oh, yeah, and I will cast Pass Without a Trace. You've got it. Also, the two widow guests spread out with pearls to each of you and touch it to all of your foreheads and use fortune's favor on all of you. So that is one reroll. Each of you have one d20 reroll to utilize.

Wow, cool. That's huge. And we're putting that death ward back on you, kid. And on ourselves. Oh, and yes, Fullard. Admiral. back on you, kid. And on themselves. Oh, and yes, Fuller. Admiral, here's a death word for you as well. Thank you,

my love, and I pull you and give you a big smooch. That's good. He's gonna need it. That's really, that was very smart right there. He's not looking good. He is so cool. Also, after that kiss, I will cast Crown of Stars, and you will start to see viper dogfish

circling seven of them around my head as they glow and emanate. The next hour. That's some level-up shit. What? Also, last thing, let's say that Widow Gas Number Two polymorphs himself into a saber-toothed tiger. The orange and black stripes and walks along

next to the boy. Very well. Cool? It's okay. So, how are you getting to Blumenthal from your tower? I will teleport us to a tree on a hill about a quarter mile away that I am familiar with. Very well.

So, Magrath Spassla? Ja, sorry. As you all appear now in the early morning light, the sun is just barely creeping over the mountains at this level. The dark purples and kind of fading twilight guides you as just the beautiful, humble village is slowly being unveiled over time before you.

You can see the cold evening brought a mist that kind of still hangs, but is slowly burning off as the light creeps through. And while the rest of you take in the sights and surroundings for the first time, for some of you, you immediately beeline your vision to the site where you grew up. As the marine layer cloud fog forms around all of you,

blending in with the mists that still remain and hang in this space, you begin to carefully march in the direction of this abode as Caleb guides you. How about group stealth check, please? As everyone's rolling, I will just add in that

Caleb has come to terms with all of this. But even today, there is a ghost of loss. What the fuck? I don't know. Stealth check? Oh, no. Uh-oh. What did we do?

Somebody's pooping their pants over here. All right. 19. 19? Did you add 10? Did you add 10? I did! Oh, shit. Wow. Oh? Did you add 10? Did you add 10? I did! Oh, shit.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Before you say what roll it was. I already know you roll like shit. But okay, I won't do it on her because I don't know what she rolled like. Can I give it to somebody else? Sure. I'm going to give it to Yasha. Blessing of the trickster.

So you get advantage on your roll. I get advantage? Okay. All right. Did you roll really well? I did Motherfuck But thank you

Alright, Beauregard Natural one Fuck Alright, Caleb 14 Alright, Yasha 32 I don't think I've ever rolled an eye for stealth.

Caduceus. 31. Chester. 17. 17. I know. And you. 35.

Oh! Look at that. Luke. Where's Luke? Luke coming in. Luke balance us. That's my boy? Luke balance us. That's my boy. Luke balance us.

As you slowly approach, returning to the area of Caleb's old home, the building that stands there, exactly as you remember it, humble, warm, and foreboding, you watched it burn down, and since a new, different home, built by a different family, stood in its place. Yet this is exactly as you remember it growing up.

The windows are closed with curtains drawn. What do you do? Well, I stare like this for a good 20 seconds. Caleb? Um, I will use... I will use my ring of telepathy. And think... Hello. and think, hello, old teacher.

I am here. A bit later than expected, but I'm so glad you could join us. Won't you join us for what would now be breakfast, old brain? Your parents miss you so. They've just been telling me how proud of you they are. Shut up. I am glad I am here today. We have a lesson for you.

You will learn it. Then teach me. I won't say anything further, but I will cast Detect Magic on the home the entire home is faintly magical in the sense that it seems to be reconstructed via magic not an illusion per se

but what was there once has been reformed by Arcana to take on this familiar shape. I will reach out and grab gently Beauregard by the forearm. I have done what I needed to do in this world. What are you talking about right now? If I do not walk from here Get that boy to safety I need you to shut the fuck up right now We're gonna walk from this

No regrets, old friend No regrets I start to walk towards the door. You reach out for the familiar handle, cold in your grasp. You turn it, and open, and a warmly lit familiar interior greets you, with the immediate smell of freshly cooked eggs and bread. Like so many mornings before, memories flood back. Are the books still on the shelves?

They seem to be, yeah. I walk over to the wall and run my thumb along a very worn copy of Da Katzenprinz on the shelf. You hear laughter in the next room. A familiar chuckle. The set of laughter you haven't heard in a long time. Una, your mother. Followed by a hearty laugh by Eliothric mingled with the laughter of Master Trent Icithon. Well, I stride in the room.

Everyone else doing anything? As Caleb goes inside the house, can I use divine sense to sense any celestial fiend undead within 60 feet? Anything as he goes in? Yes, you may. And indeed, you sense two undead presences within the home. Kirby. That's fucked.

Cuckoo. Mom and dad are home, I think. Sorry, insensitive. Sorry. Not if it's true. We're going in with him, right? No. In tactics, you can't bunch up.

There has to be a partition. Otherwise, one thing could happen to one instead of everyone. Someone should go with him, though. I'll go. All right. him though I'll go all right well we all go you know just said no no no partitions and stuff mm-hmm trust your instincts Yasha do you want to maybe go around back we can flank this building yeah yeah. Yeah. Caleb? Caleb?

I'm in the room with my parents and Trent Ikethon. I follow. Okay. So Caleb is inside the home. Jester? Who else goes in after him? Ford, do you go in the room?

So you go on back, right? I'll go in, too. You'll go in, too? Yep. All right, so we have Jester and Ford entering behind Caleb. Who else? Oh, jeez. You're being watched by another Caleb.

Yes, by a cat. Caduceus? Yasha? Beau? Yasha, is there like a back door to this cottage or any windows in the back? You can go ahead and wander around if you like to check. You want to come with me? Yeah, I'll come with you.

Okay, so Beau and Yasha heading around the back. Luke, what are you doing? I guess I'm staying with Saber Caleb. Okay. Outside, is Caduceus going in? I'm going to just... Uncle Deuce, are you going in? Wow, I had forgotten about that.

It's been a stressful day. I think we're just going to sit right here, watch through the window, and not hide. I mean, that's cool. I would have gone in if, you know, I could go in, you know, if... Sit down. Okay, thanks. It's really scary. Yes. Yes. All right.

So you're both waiting outside? Right out front. Right out front, got it. Caleb. Yes? You enter and step to the right-hand side of the entryway where you know it leads to the central kind of dining area of this humble home.

And there you see the long table where a number of small breakfast foods are arranged. There are seven empty chairs cluttered around the table. And at the other end of the head, sitting, you see an older, far gaunter, Trent Ikithon, the collar still affixed around his throat. Robes that seem to have been somewhat tattered and dirtied. And as he sits, his laughter halting as he looks

towards you, to his right and left, you see the African Una, unchanged since the last day you saw them, looking back at you. And they smile. Bren, come sit with me in your parents.

We have to discuss a familiar conversation about your parents. We have to discuss a familiar conversation about your future. Take a seat at the table across the length of it from my former teacher. I'm just going to stand behind

to one side of Caleb. We'll flank him. All right. Father. Bren. It's good to see you. It's been some time. It is good to lay eyes on you as well. Mutter.

She smiles and cocks her head at you. It's been close to 20 years since we all sat together like this. Ja. It's been too long. But maybe we can start again. Motta, don't you think it's strange that you haven't changed one iota? Not at all.

He's been so kind in gifting us a second chance. They both looked at Trent. He was just looking straight at you. Do they seem in charge of their own faculties? Make an insight check. 16. 16. It's hard to pinpoint,

but there's something about their reactions that are delayed. They're dead. And there's something about their stares that are slightly vacant or look past you. And the chill that runs up your back as you know deep inside that whatever these are, they are not the parents you remember. What game are we playing at here, Trent? The game is what we started 20 years ago, Bren.

To better each other. I found you. I built you. And look at you. I've never been so proud. Both your parents go, so proud, so proud. I'm going to lean down and whisper in Caleb's ear, I'm so sorry.

And I'm going to look at Trent in the eye. And I'm going to turn undead. Woo! Yeah! in the eye. And I'm gonna turn undead. Alright. Wisdom save, correct? Uh, yes. Uh, first one is going to be a 13. Fail. The second is gonna be a 13. Fail. The second is going to be a 12.

In this instant, both of Caleb's parents recoil as a soft blast of strange, like, pale, almost pastel green energy just kind of whirls around you and spreads out into the chamber. As they both fall back and recoil, you see Trent's grin fall to a stoic stare. This is unkind when you are a guest. You're unkind. Perhaps the lesson should begin with me, then.

At which point you hear this high-pitched whine before the table. Explodes the entire house. Everyone outside looking in. The entirety of the farmstead home just detonates in a massive flaming fireball, an inferno that rises 30 feet into the air. Stone and wood, charred, go flying in all directions. Most of the roof either has collapsed inward or is thrown from side to side. Stone and broken furniture goes flying out of the sides. I need everyone who is inside to make a dexterity saving throw. Good. Whoa.

Okay. You are within ten feet of me, so plus five to your saving throw. Oh, I love you. I know. 30. Oh, ha love you. I know. 30. Okay, 30. You only take 34 points of fire damage. Jesus! Wait, Ford!

No, I gave you something special. You have fire resistance. Oh, my God! Resistance. To be clear, it's the blast scepter. Yes, it is. My girl got that ring. Don't worry about it. Thank you. All right.

So 34 brings it to 16 instead? No, 17. 17. 17 points of fire damage. I rolled 27. 27. You take 34 points of fire damage. I rolled 27. 27. You take 34 points of fire damage, but you have the ring. Except I'm wearing that ring, baby. 17.

Hey! It finally did something. Alright. Beau and Yasha, you are outside. Alright. Caleb? Well, I got a 15, which I'm sure fails. However, I re-equipped the Ring of Evasion last night after giving the Luck Stone to Luke,

so I auto-succeed. Fair enough. 34 points of fire damage. As the flames subside, you feel raining down upon you the burning remnants of this household, whether it be yours, your family's, or whoever else lived here previously.

As the smoke and flames begin to clear, you see the sky above and the smoke rising. This house is just blasted open now. And before you, you see Trent Ikithon kind of floating up in the air. And where your two parents stood, you see two burned, twisted, on fire, ghoul-like undead corpses that gnash at you with sharp blackened teeth,

clawed fingers and strips of flesh and cloth that are just immediately burning and sending flickers of flames behind them. I need to go ahead and pull in the map, if you don't mind. Oh! And I need everyone to roll initiative. Let's go. Guys, this combat is brought to you by WizKids Minis.

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to delving into Aeor. The Mighty Nein box set offers high quality painted versions of the group decked out in their most iconic gear. Our order today at wizkids.io slash mighty dash nine. And Matthew, I don't know what their level was,

but I did turn on dead, so they could be destroyed, potentially? They're not destroyed, but they are currently afraid of you and cannot get closer. Okay. Which is good to know. I would also like to add, Matthew, that this is super fucked. Yeah. And I love you.

Yeah. Alright, 25 to 20. Oh, we're rolling? We're rolling? Initiative, y'all. Yay. Oh, shit. A lot of panic, a lot of panic, a lot of panic. I rolled a 23, which is wild. I rolled a 25.

Did you really? Jester, Yasha. All right, Jester, Yasha, 20 to 15. 18. 18, Beauregard. 17. All right. All right. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Alright. Alright.

What's your dex? What's who? Ford's dex? Oh dex. Uh, zero! Okay, actually. Rollies! Rollies! Rollies! Rollies! Nine! Sure, let's do it. Let's do it. Roll.

Nine! Nineteen? Nine. Nine? Sixteen. All right. Oh. It's okay. It was worth a shot.

So wait, we got bow, then four, then... No, we have a bow, then a baddie, then four. All right, and then 15 to 10? Twelve! Twelve for Luke. 13 for me. All right. 13 for you?

Oh, wait. Caleb is 13 and Luke is 12. Fucking hell, you guys. All right. And then we have... And that's Caleb Prime and Caleb II. Correct. And Caduceus?

Four. All right. Fantastic. All right. With that gesture, you are up first. Oh, well, first things first. Invoke duplicity! Alright. Where do you want them?

Oh, God, I can't see. I can't, I can't. Can you, yeah, maybe the tree? This tree has been shifted. The whole thing about this terrain is you can just... Oh, I see. There you go. Okay, in that case... Oh, God.

Hold on, I'm just going to get up. Easy. Come look. I'm not looking at behind anything. I'm not looking at... I know, I know, I know. That's Mimi. That's you there.

Okay, I'm going to... Where's Trent? Trent is right there. They're immediately going to just, like, all of them are going to split out from me. So one is going to run in this corner. Two are going to run towards Trent. Oh, my God.

So two on Trent. Two in this corner or by this... Like, the... Yeah. Sure. And then one is going to. All righty. Perfect. Got it. That's your action? You And then for my bonus action, I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon. All righty. Who are you putting it on? At mid-level, obviously right next to Trent.

And it's going to swing at him. Let's do it. Go ahead and roll your attack against Trent. 22. 22 does indeed hit. Great. So that would be, let's see, spiritual weapon, that's 3d8.

3d8, go for it. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Really? Yasha, you're not dead. Nine plus five, so 14 points. 14 points of damage. You see it swing and Trent just seems to avoid it like it's nothing. Wait, I thought I, no, I hit him.

I know. Motherfuck. All right. Does that finish your turn? All right. Oh, no, okay, okay, okay, okay. Real me. Yes.

Is going to, at the same time that all the other duplicates ran all the other directions, real me is going to kind of run out the door. Out this way? Yeah. All right, you. Just like, boop, there I am. That's about as far as you can get. That's fine.

With all the rough terrain. Okay, it finishes your go. Yasha, you're up with Bo on deck. What are you doing, Yasha? Okay. Okay. I would like to rage. Yeah.

That's my baby! Ah! And that was my bonus action. Duh. And then what I would like to do is... Shit, where did it go? Come back to me. Okay, I would like to banf out to me. Okay, I would like to... Bantz out my wings. Okay, Radiant Soul?

Yeah. Radiant Soul. All right. Your feathered wings emerge, outstretching side to side. You now have your flying speed and your bonus damage if you do hit. Okay, and then I'm going to make my way inside. Make my way! All right, you're flying up in the air

or are you staying on the ground? I'm going to stay on the ground for now. Okay, so you charge in right up to where essentially Trent and the duplicates are. Yes. From your mind, it's just more gestures, but you've seen this before. Yes.

All right, that finishes the Ashiko. Beau, you're up. Did I see jester kind of attack, but biff it? Did I see any of that? You watched Trent just kind of like dodge to the side, and it looks like it should have hit him, but he just flipped out of the way. Okay.

Very spry for an old guy. Weird. I'm going to 70 feet of movement. That's my walking speed. Power walking champion. That's what Bo does in her spare time now. Prancer size. Prancer size.

Easy enough to catch up to. Are you heading towards Trent? Towards Trent. Okay, got it. Well, wait, where's his parents? There and there. These terrifying, smoking, incinerated corpses. Mutter und Vater.

All right. I'm going to try and hit a pop pop. Go for it. Let's go. Okay. 30 total on the's go. Okay. 30 total on the first one? Whoa. 30 total.

You go and punch him right in the back of the head, and you watch the fist should have impacted, but he seems to duck out of the way. Fuck. Why? And he just starts laughing. I'm going to turn to everybody. I don't think he's here.

And I can also punch ghosts. So if he's a ghost... I know. He's dodging your attacks. All right. Fuck. I'm going to Step of the Wind. Can I continue my movement?

If you want to. I'm going to continue my movement to Crispy Daddy. You have plenty of movement to get to him. All righty. My second attack. 25. He's afraid, so you have an advantage on your strikes, actually, because of your turn undead.

27. 27 definitely hits. Ew, icky. That's going to be eight damage. Eight damage. Stunning strike. Okay, you also take five points of fire damage as you punch and realize there are flames

burning through its corpse. Fine. Stunning Strike? Correct. Natural 20 on its point, it resists the stun. I am burnt, Daddy. Okay. I'll burn my shit out.

I am going to Flurry of Flurr. Flurry of Flurry of We already know. We know he's an undead crispy daddy. I'm going to bonus action patient defense. Okay. But I'm going to tell everybody else

Trin's not here. Look for where he is. All right, that finishes your go? Yeah. Trent is going to go ahead and fly up into the air, roughly 30, we'll say about 30, 35 feet, floating up above everyone, shifting off to the space. And begins to continue to chuckle under his breath.

As he does, he lifts his arms up to the sky. And you watch as up in the clouds above, this tear rips open in four different places. You see the stars and cosmos swirling as these massive flaming stones rocket down from above. No, no, no, no! Slamming as a meteor swarm into the center of this battlefield. I need everyone to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw, please.

By the way, Matt, earlier I forgot my coat that I stole from fucking Trent Ikathon gives me advantage on saving throws. So can I roll that second die for the fire? That's a 19 plus two is a 21. 21 fails. 21 fails? Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Wow. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Please! Wow! Well, for dex. And this one is dex as well? This is dex, yes. There's... yeah. All right, so starting over here. Anyone within ten feet of me, you get plus five natural 20 for a 26. Woo! You're supposed to... So that's 70 fire damage.

Resistant. Right, right. 35. Correct. I rolled natural 20 for 26. So for a total of? 70, 35 for resistance. Yeah, you're fine.

So you take, so 70 reduced to 35, reduced a half from your fire resistance, which brings you to a 17. Wow. And then you also take 35 points of bludgeoning damage. All right. Beauregard. I rolled a natural one.

However, I used Diamond Soul to use one key to reroll my save to give me a 20 total. 20 total, still fails. Evasion. Indeed, so you take half damage from this, which would mean you would take 37 and 35. Holy shit. 35 was the full bludgeoning damage, though?

Correct. So would that be half as well? No, no, the full damage was 71. Oh. The full bludgeoning damage was 71? Correct. 75 fire damage, 71 bludgeoning damage. This is why some people stay out of the house.

All right, and we got Caleb's on that one. So because I am close to four and I get that plus five, my total is a 23. 23 would succeed. But I take 70-something total. You do. Yeah, I'm fucked up. All right, Yasha.

70 how much? 23. 23 succeeds. Soasha. 70 how much? 23. 23 succeeds. So you take half the fire damage. You take 37 points of fire damage. Whoa. Okay. And you take...

It would be 35 bludgeoning, but you are resistant to bludgeoning while raging, so that brings it to only a... 17. 17. 17? Yeah, there you go. It must begeoning while raging, so that brings it to only a... 17. 17. So 17. Yeah, there you go. It was supposed to be 71, so 35, yeah. 35 plus 17, okay. You got it.

Caduceus. 34. 20. 20, that's a fail. You take 75 points of fire damage, 71 points of bludgeoning damage. 75 points of fire damage, 70... One points of bludgeoning.

Oh, wow, that's what that does. Jester? 22. 22 just does. 22. 22 just succeeds. Shit. So that's 75 fire reduced to half to 37, reduced to six, 35, sorry my breath. That's 17.

17 and a half. Oh, this is 18. No, 18 total. 18 points of fire damage. Okay. And that's 35 points of bludgeoning damage. Luke? I rolled a 17, but I get arcane deflection to add four, making it 21. 21 fails.

Oh! But I'm just a little boy, Matt. Do you have evasion? I do not. You don't have evasion? I do not. You don't have evasion? I don't think so. Well, with the potion, it would have increased your level temporarily to now include it. Oh.

So. Then I do. You would have evasion. So you take half damage from both. Oh. I'm invincible. So 37 points of fire damage yeah

and then 35 points of bludgeoning damage what were you saying Caduceus? I thought I had a thing, I do not that's okay, with that it's going to finish Trent's turn, Fjord you're up with my bonus action as I'm running underneath him I will draw

water out of the air and point my hand up and cast Hexblade's Curse on Trent. And with my action, I will unleash four Eldritch Blasts. Hell yeah. Let's go. All righty.

Well, fuck that! That's not terrible. Okay, first one is a 25. These are a trend? All four trends. All four trends. This 25 blasts into him, and you watch him just kind of like almost glitch to the side,

and it goes wide. He's not there. He's not there. It's not him. Do I see the mom and dad in the room? Are they like turned back? Indeed. Both of them are getting up from being blasted with the meteor swarm.

They both look like they took a heavy hit, but they're still going. I'll send the second one, which is balls. It's like a 15 to the dad. To the dad? All right. Go ahead and roll. It's a 15. 15?

15. Misses. Misses. Third one I'll send towards the dad as well. That's a 23. That hits. Okay, and the fourth one is a 21. That hits as well.

Both those hit the father. The father. 11, 22. This is messed up. I'm sorry, guys. Not really. 33. That was not.

That's 33 points of Eldritch Blast damage. 33 points of force damage to the father corpse. The blast, poof, poof, knock him back against the wall, and you see the fear in the eyes still present. It looks like it's currently trying to fight through the divine sense of fight or flight that's kicking in, and it is wanting to lash forward, but can't find itself able to do so,

at least not towards the source of it. When I use my Hexblade's Curse against Trent, does it grab onto anything? Do I feel that connection, or does it just do nothing? It is lost in the ether. Understood. Okay. Alright. Where is he? Where is he?

Now both of these folks go. They are going to get further away from Jester. This one's going to rush towards Caleb, but you do get an attack of opportunity if you'd like. Beauregard? Oh, yeah, 100%.

And this one is going to rush towards... No, it can't get closer. Yeah, 30 total. Yeah, it can't quite get there. It'll dash outward and immediately engage with Caduceus. That's dashed through the rough terrain, so it just gets right up to all of you. Watch as it comes out.

30 total on the one who is leaving me, Sentinel. That definitely hits, so with Sentinel, it stays a put. That is 16 damage. 16 damage. Oh, Papa's looking real rough. It's a great folk song. You do take... You take 12 points of fire damage from the impact, though.

Fine. All right, that finishes... Now, that one's gonna... I mean, it's still gonna turn around and attack you, because you're the only one that it can get to. So it's gonna be two attacks with disadvantage against you, because it can see Jester. That's going to be a 19. You're talking to me?

To you. Miss. Miss. And 13. Miss. It just strikes out with these gnarled claws that are flaming at the tips, and both of them, you're just like, paring off to the side. No worries yet. This is Daddy? This is Daddy.

This is Daddy, yeah. I'm going to buy another reaction with Mind of Mercury. Okay. To attack again. You got it. Go ahead and roll an attack. Yes, we did. Yes, that is 21.

21 hits. Yeah, 17. Okay, you take seven points of fire damage. Fine. And how do you want to do this? Hey! I can't help but look over my shoulder to Caleb as I'm about to kill his daddy again,

and with his already crispy flesh, I do a series of blows right to his neck, which more or less severs his flesh and just rips it right down the center of his chest. Sundered and put to rest. All right. At the end of, does that finish, that finishes the creature All right. At the end of... Does that finish the creature's turn? At the end of that, it's going to be Trent.

It's going to use two legendary actions. How can he use them when he's not here? Strange. To use rapid cast. Yeah. Rapid cast. He's going to go ahead and cast Chain Lightning. Oh, boy.

So, I need... 30 feet of each other. I will say I would have been further away from it. I need Jester, Ford, Caleb, and Yasha, and Jester, Ford, Beau, Caleb, Yasha to all make Dexterity saving throws for me Well, maybe I'll Maybe I'll counterspell it instead

Oh! Come on Come on You do not see the floating Trent casting anything And as you release a counterspell It doesn't find purchase anywhere Where is he?

Jester, behind your shoulders, a glow of bright energy suddenly unleashes, and you see a spark of lightning strike out from near where that tree is as it arcs through and goes to hit all three of you. So, for that point, we'll come over here to

forward first. 22. 22? Oh, what, are we rolling dexterity? You only take 22 points of lightning damage. I'm also resistant to lightning and fire so 11. So 11 for you. Nice. Alright. Thanks, baby. 22?

22, that just succeeds. So you take no damage because of your evasion, right? Evasion. That's awesome. Caleb? I have a question. I'm about to be downed here, but you react with a counterspell when you see someone casting, so I counterspell towards a moving image that did nothing?

That just kind of stood there. And just took it. Okay, got it. So I fail, and I'm assumed down. That is 44 points of lightning damage. Down. You watch the blast go through. As both of you dodge out of the way,

you glance over your shoulder and watch as Caleb falls into the ground, smoke smoldering off his chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. All right, that brings us to Yasha. No, it brings us to Caleb, number two, who turns into a fucking T-Rex! Yes! Okay, okay, okay. Oh my god. Yes, yes.

Let's go. All right. Does my guy have movement? Well, we're still going through the rest of Chainlink. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain.

I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain.

I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go with the chain. I'm going to go. All right. Does my guy have movement? Well, we're still going through the rest of Chain Lightning. Oh, sorry. No worries.

Yasha. Seven. 44 points of lightning damage. Okay. And that. Jester. 22. 22.

You take 22 points of lightning damage. All righty. Now that brings us to... Well, Caleb goes after your turn, right? Caleb Prime downed. Correct. So now it's his turn to make a death save, I assume? Well, it's not Caleb's turn yet.

Okay. So we have Ford. Oh, no, no. That was the... Trent wins. No, you're right. No, you are next. Yes.

Caleb won, who's down, which means death save. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a three. All right, first fail death save. Wait, are you left? And now T-Rex, Caleb. Which now, Luke, you are riding a T-Rex.

Oh, this is not like playing with dinosaur toys anymore. Oh, God, this is so real! Um, I can see the mom? Or... Below, yes. Though TRS Caleb can go first. But doesn't have an action because the action is too fast. Oh, that's right, we have to cast it. But I have movement, yeah?

Uh, yes. So I'm going to, uh... Stomp over the dead thing through the wall into the house. Are you damaging the... As close to Trent Illusion as I can get. Got it. All right, the entity does get an attack of opportunity from you,

and we'll say this destroys the front wall, which is ruined from the impact. Attack of opportunity against you with disadvantage because of Chester, that's gonna be a 18 against the T-Rex. Oh, against the T-Rex? Oh, shite, where's the T-Rex? I have him, I have him here on paper. High quality paper.

Sorry, what was the save? Oh, this is just, it was a, what's it, AC? Oh, AC is a 13. Oh, it totally hits the T-Rex as it runs past. So with that, it takes 15 points of slashing damage and eight points of fire damage from its claws. Okay. All right, the T-Rex is going to...

I don't have an action. That's right, because you just moved. I have a question. Yes. When I saw the flash of light behind me, did I see anything that was causing the flash of light? You looked behind and seen nothing. Okay, but I did see a flash.

You did see a flash. Like, the source of lightning, as you looked over, as it hit in you, it seemed to apparate from the tree or near it, but you saw no source of it. Okay. All right. Finishing that, though, Luke, you're up with Caduceus on deck. Oh, man.

I don't know what's going on. I don't think that this guy's really here, so I'm going to take some talcum powder in my hand and smoosh it around and try to remember the words that Caleb taught me, and I'm gonna cast See Invisibility. Yes! Okay!

Yes! Awesome. Okay. That was what we needed. Ooh, with a line. Just shout it out, bish. With that, you can now see, while the image of our friend Trent remains there,

behind this tree, you can now see, thanks to the open air of the house and the line of sight you have, another old frail man looking just like the one that was present seems to be crouching down behind the tree like a little creep. Like a little bitch. That's accurate. Just like the rest of you, I also hate old people.

There's a really weird-looking guy under that tree on the west side of the house. I will use my bonus action to hide. On the T-Rex, go ahead and roll stealth check. Side saddle. Oh, I get an advantage because I stole Mom's cloak. 18.

18, all right. So you believe you are hidden on the back of this T-Rex. Okay. All right, that finishes your go. Caduceus, you're up. Jester on deck. I am not doing well. So can I see everybody from where I am, or how close am I to just... From where you are, you can just barely see Jester.

She has three-quarters cover over here. Everyone else is visible, including the unconscious Caleb. Okay. As long as everyone's within sight and everyone's within... Yeah. I'm aware. Okay. I've just decided none of this is going to do, so I'm casting Mass Heal. Mass Heal.

That's 100 each, unless anyone needs less than 100, and then we can give that to other people. I need 90. I need 80. I need 90. I could use more. I think I can do less than that. That's already an extra 40 to you.

How much more do you need, Caleb? My total is shite. Yes, we know. Yeah, yeah. Shit, how do I make the death saves go away? You heal yourself. Just go to healing. Where?

You healed now. Where? What do you mean? Where? No, he clicked the wrong button. He's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 140.

140. Go on without me. That's 1,500. 140. 140. Go on without me. That's 1,500. It's not going to go that high. The total is 120. My total is 124. All right, so that's only 386 in all of you in Jester up front. So that's pretty much everyone to follow.

I'm going to heal an extra point so that I'm up to level. I'm going to say, actually, is there anything left? Because I still need a lot because I got my ass kicked. Yeah, that's 386 used between the four of them. Yasha, did you need any? I can go without. No, you can't. We have 700.

They die. I need 72. Take that 72. Great. What are we at? That still brings us at 538. Everybody's to fall. Oh, so we're fine.

Everyone just take it. Everyone just go max. Yeah, yeah, take it. Wow. Now that yeah, take it. Wow. Now that's a cleric. And as a bonus action, I turn, I touch my new fancy chest plate. I mean, it's a big deal. And I give it a little tap, and it starts to just have a little pulse.

And I now have five temporary hit points. I swear it's a little cooler than that, but only a little. Every little bit helps. And I'm going to just, I think, step inside now that I know that there's something behind me and curl around and take a little cover. Okay. It is not going to attack Arbiterity because it already took one. Yes, it did. Move in and get him for some cover. That finishes your go. Chester, you're up with Yasha on deck. Okay. It is not going to attack Arbitrary because it already took one.

Get him for some cover. That finishes your go. Chester, you're up with the Ashan deck. Okay. I'm going to turn around based on what Luke just told us and I'm going to run forward and hope that I run into a dude. You do not. You're by the tree.

Can I use my bonus action to kick around and see if I can feel anything? Sure. Also make an investigation check for me. This is to kick some dust up around you, Ricky O style. Those of you who know, know. Okay, okay, okay, okay. If I use my, okay, if I use my fortune's favor,

do I have to take it, or is it just in case it can be better? You choose the higher roll? Fortune's favor, you can roll and then choose. Choose the higher? Okay, I'm going to choose that. I'm going to do that. All right. Okay, so that is 15.

15. 15. You kick the dust around, and you see it kind of lays in some areas. You know the general direction, but you don't have a specific target. So if you have something that doesn't require a target, you can try for it. But if it's just like a line or a cone, you can try and blast it in space. Okay, I'm going to hope. Jesus! I'm going to hope I'm within ten feet.

Okay. And I'm gonna... cast Anti-Magic Field. Yeah! Fucking chef's kiss. Yes! Chef. All right.

Immediately, operating behind this tree, this frail old man, who, holding the side of the tree, cackling to himself, goes, You! I want to reach for it, and try to hold on to him. Okay, well, you spend your action passing this bell.

He's here! Yasha, you're up. And the anti-magic lives there, right? It lives by me. It lives around her. By you. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Oh, grab him! Luke, did you say where... You can see him. He's visible now. I can see him. I can see him.

I can see him. Okay. I'm going to fly over to him. Okay. What's your flying speed? My flying speed is... Just a minute. 30 feet.

30 feet. Not extremely far. No. Far enough, far enough. But far enough. Oh, it's going to make it. A little under halfway there. Shit.

Are you sure it's 30? It's not 60? Can you dash? Can you dash to him? Can you dash to him? And then... You can use your action to dash. Yeah, but then for the reaction, if he moves away, she can sentinel him.

Okay. It's true. Yes, true. I will true. Yes, true. I will dash. No, bitches! Okay, what's your movement without flying? Without flying, it's 50. Do you want to keep flying, or do you want to jump down and take it on foot?

I'll fucking jump down, then! Wait, if I just do 50 feet, can I get there without flying? We'll find out. I can't tell you. That's part of the challenge of eyeballing this. Okay, okay, okay. Do it, do it, do it, do it. Okay.

Let's go. So you leap down. I can't tell you. That's part of the challenge of eyeballing this. Okay, okay, okay. Do it, do it, do it. Okay. So you leap down. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five. Over the gate. Thirty, thirty-five, forty. Gets you into... Daily! Daily! Huh?

That's you just walking over. Walking over. Okay, great. All right, all right. That's flying the 30 feet and then walking Did I have any movement left, by the way? If you're just walking, there's too much rough terrain You probably won't make it, but you can give it a shot Let's give it a shot

Alright Wait, had I had any I had movement left before my turn ended, right? So I could have at least stood next to him Within 5 feet of him Just, you know 50 feet, you said? left before my turn ended, right? So I could have at least stood next to him. Within five feet of him. Just, you know. Fifty feet, you said?

Fifty feet will get you right at the window there. Shit. Okay, let's go back to what we did before. Okay. Fine. Alright, alright, alright. And then, um... I'm within five feet. I'm within five feet of him. I use the rest of my movement to get within five feet of him. Okay. Uh, uh, all right.

Shit. Now I can't attack. That's okay. What I'm going to do is... I'm going to... Yasha, hit him! Well, I can't now because I ran. And now I'm just standing in front of him like a doofus. Alright. But as a bonus

action, I am going to cast Zealous Presence and I'm going to let out a battle cry. Alright. Is it, wait, is that a magic effect? Oh, it won't.

What does it say? Once prolonged rest is a bonus action, you unleash a battle cry, and up to ten other creatures... No, it's just an inspiring effect. It doesn't say anything magical about it. Okay, so everybody within 60 feet, you have advantage on attack rolls and saving throws.

Until the end of my next turn. All righty. Finishing Yasha's go. Beauregard, you're up. Yep, I see my baby head out to the west side of the house, and I'm going to follow 70 feet of movement, and I've got the mobile feet, so I don't suffer from rough terrain.

Yeah, you're there. Yes! Damn. Damn. Damn. I spin my staff, give it a little lightsaber twirl, and I'm going to swing like I'm about to behead this motherfucker. That's a shit roll! 15!

Okay. 15 does not hit. Yeah, that makes sense. You have advantage on it, by the way. Don't forget you have that from your battle cry. Oh, because my, oh, my girl. The natural one. What about fortune?

But it's okay. Fortune's favor, fortune's favor, fortune's favor. I'm going to hold the what? No. No, I got two attacks. I'm going to do it again. Okay, okay, okay. Stupid pigeon. Jesus, okay, okay. Stupid pigeon!

Jesus fucking Christ. Wow! Did you take advantage on that, too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I did. You look really good, though. Thank you so much. Oh my god! Um, okay.

Man, do I do fortune's favor here? Yeah, because he can't get away. If he leaves this field, we're fucked. Don't let him get away, Bo. But I can lock him down with sentinel. Yeah. No, what's most important is Flurry of Blows. So I do two big swipes with my staff.

I'm a little frazzled, I missed, but I'm going to just put it away and use an elbow and an uppercut right to his jaw. Pop, pop. Yeah, baby. Okay, that is a 24 to hit. That hits. Yes.

And 32 to hit. Yes. That hits. Yes. First one. Yep, that's good. Eight plus six. Math.

What's eight plus six? 14. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. It's a intrinsic attack. Stunning strike. That is going to be a natural 20. Caduceus. Sorry.

Dirty 20, natural 17. Oh. That's being attacked from him. Okay, okay, okay. Next hit. Yeah. 17 damage. 17 damage already.

Yes. Stunning Strike. Stunning Strike. That is a natural one. Yay! Eddie! He's going to use Legendary Resistance. Ready? He's going to use legendary resistance. Oh, come on.

Shit. But there you go. How many is there? All right. One. One legend. That was the first one, right? Yeah.

That finishes. Extract aspects. What's up? Extract aspects. Extract aspects. Extract aspects. He. What's up? Extract Aspects. Extract Aspects. Extract Aspects. He is resistance to all spells. Wait, how? She takes half damage from all spell damage.

How, though? Because is it from, like, a magical robe he's wearing or something? You don't know? Well, if it's a magical robe, it doesn't work. I'm not going to do any spells to try and hit him either. I'm just saying. I know. So with the uppercut that I nail on his chin

and I feel the reverberation in his skull, which gives me a sense of his fucking brain, and that tells me he's resistant to magic, which I shout out to the rest of the crew. He's good against magic, y'all. That finishes a go.

Oh, all my duplicates are gone, because I cast anti-magic field. Yeah, that finishes my go. All righty. They sure looked pretty while they were there, though. They sing as they leave. This also fades. Oh god, oh there, though. They sing as they leave. This also fades. Oh god, oh god, ha.

Alrighty, to that point, Beauregard, does that finish your turn? Yes. All right, it is now Trent Ikithon's turn. Surrounded here, looking feeble, he looks around. I figured this would be what happens. That's why the intelligence prepare. He reaches in his robe and pulls forth this strange,

like webbed, egg-looking artifact in his grips. As he looks at it, Omentis, let us set you free. And he breaks it in his grasp. Pulling it open, black energy begins to pour out because the anti-magic field does not suppress artifacts. Right. You watch it sink into his chest and begin to weave into his torso.

His eyes rolled over black. The force begins to emit from him, pushing you all back. I need the three of you that are near him to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw for me. Cool. Do we have advantage on that, Yasha? You do. Ah, yes. Guys, we're fighting

Trent Ickathon in Wembley Stadium. Ah! In Wembley Stadium. Same thing. Same thing, same thing. Wembley Stadium. Same thing. Same thing, same thing. Lovely Stadium, same thing. So that is 30, how much is that? What'd you get?

You're... 23. 23. That would be 35 points of force damage reduced to... Evasion. 17 to nothing. Yasha? Dirty 20. What kind of damage is this?

Force damage. Okay, never mind. Alright, so you take a full 35 points of force damage. Oh. And Jester? 24. 24, that is barely a success on this. So you take 17 points of force damage. Okay. As you are all blasted back along with this house itself,

it begins to shake, and you're all pushed back as what remains standing crumbles and falls away in this blast of dark shadow power. As you all are kind of thrust back, kind of catching your breath, the air itself grows cold and ill. You look up, and the space where the tree was and where Trent was standing, this

orb of black shadow is just swelling outward, outward, 10, 15, 20, 30 feet. And as it emits this horrible, acrid smell, this sense of doom just swells over each and every one of you. As the shadow fades, you see emerge this massive, 35-foot-tall, strange entity made of black and purple swirling darkness. What? Four extended, live limbs with clawed hands seem to emerge from it as tethers of swirling, screaming black power just end up sifting through it and pouring out.

Two massive horns curl back as red glowing eyes in the center of its face emit this bright glow and it begins to just walk towards Blumenthal. Let's go ahead and bring out the second map, I don't mean. What? The second map? The second map. You're gonna fuck with my whole hometown?

Yeah. Round here. Thank you. It's got the word flower in the name I know It's a beautiful flower for now Oh my That's even bigger

Matthew No Oh look they're just citizens going about their day Oh no They don't know that Godzilla is coming Oh my god Holy shit We have kaiju

We have kaiju, oh no With its movement it steps forward into the nearby city streets as it shifts just far enough to get into view steps forward into the nearby city streets. As it shifts just far enough to get into view, you watch as different townsfolk scream and turn to run, and just the very essence of it around siphons the life from them as they fall and turn into a husk on the ground.

Cool! I think my anti-magic field should have totally worked on that. Yeah, nah. Unfortunately, no. Fjord, you're up. Oh, I'm up? Okay, great. Watching that horrible shit happen, the Star Razor in my hand will glow and I'll say,

and I'll cast Fly and shoot into the air. Yes! Okay. And as I chase after this kaiju, I will now try Hexblade's Curse again, knowing I have Master of Hexes, so even if I miss the first time, I can shift it to a new enemy.

You got it. All right, so full movement on flight, which is 60 feet, right, will get you to right about there, since you were a little further back in the battlefield, and you do actually hit it with your hex, so that is hexed at the moment. That's really cute. That was the smallest indicator ever.

Oh, my God, that's my turn. All right, that finishes your go forward. Caleb, you're conscious on the ground, and as you've been kind of woken up, you hear the sound, and you glance up from the rubble of the home as it blasts again. As the smoke and dust settles, you see this entity walking into your home village, and you just hear the screams in the distance. What do you do? I actually don't stand up right away.

I just place one palm on the ground and another palm on the ground, and both hands swell and grow and you watch as Caleb transforms into a perfect image of Galadon, the nightmare in ivory. You! Oh, wow. He had it?

I'll say that'll make you not prone. What's the fly speed on Gelidon? 80. 80? From where you were, which is not far from our 40s, you can get up to... About this. Yeah, you can get into melee with it if you want.

But I have no action. Indeed. Do I have fear in this moment? The fear presence? Or is that also part of it? That is part of your action. Then I will just let the largest kaiju scream this region of Wildemount has ever heard.

Godzilla roar. Perfect. Guys, I think I just heard my mom. Luke, it's your turn. On the back of a T-Rex, you look over, watch this massive, terrifying nightmare. No, it's Caleb II. That's right. And in a mirroring cry,

the T-Rex begins to bound after. What's its ground speed? It is, ground speed is 50 feet. 50 feet, okay. It can rush over, and if it does a double dash, it can get up into melee with this, or you can stay back, up to you. I am going to stay back. Up to you. I am going to stay back.

Okay. And keep the boy a little ways away. You got it. Behind Uncle Ford, who he loves so much. Luke, you're up with Caduceus on deck. I mean, it feels like causing 3d6 damage isn't gonna do a whole lot, right?

If this is a kaiju battle, let's make it one. I will cast Enlarge on the T-Rex that I'm riding. Awesome. That is so fun. What the fuck? What the fuck? Yeah! What the fuck? What the fuck? Yes! What the fuck?

Put him on a box, Matt. Oh, my God. Ridiculous. Can we get an apple box for the T-Rex? I don't have a larger T-Rex, unfortunately. But we can all use, weirdly enough, our imagination. As the T-Rex bounding up matches near the size of Gelidon, actually.

And the people of the town that were already running and screaming are now running and screaming even harder. This is the worst morning this little sleepy village has ever seen. All right. That's your action. Are you moving? Are you staying on your massive T-Rex? I'll stay on the massive T-Rex.

I'll continue in my hiding position. And I'll just cast... Oh, I can't cast anything else. So that's all I'll do. I'm done. I'm just... This is so freaking cool, you guys! All right. That brings us to Caduceus' go. Actually, at the end of

Luke's turn, it's going to go ahead and use a legendary action to use an Abyssal Tendril. You watch as it doesn't even look forward, at the end of Luke's turn, it's going to go ahead and use a legendary action to use an abyssal tendril. You watch, as it doesn't even look forward, there's the glowing red in its face, and one of these strange whipping tendrils reaches out and tries to pierce forward, who is flying in their direction.

Keep your hentai out of this. That's going to be a 34 to hit. Yeah, it is! All righty. And that'll be, uh... 36 points of slashing damage. I'm gonna roll a d6 for Armor of Hexes to see if it'll miss. All right.

Four misses! Yeah! You've just kind of... You dogfight out of the way as you're... No! The shadow around you, the water, like the dark water that spills around you from the Wild Mother's Blessing

just kind of coasts it off of you, no impact. All right, Caduceus, your turn. Where am I on this map? You're way over here, actually. Where is Yasha? Yasha's still kind of right behind where the T-Rex is. Can I make it to Yasha, or is that not possible? You moved a little into the house.

You could get to her if you do double movement, but you will not have an action. You know, I into the house. You could get to her if you do double movement, but you will not have an action. You know, I'll take it. I'm going to take my whole thing to run to Yasha. Okay. So you both get... We'll put you over here just off the map. Thankfully, though, Holy Weapon is a bonus action. Oh!

Yep. So just tap you on the back. Go fuck it up. Just go fuck it up, please. So, just tap you on the back. Go fuck it up. Just go fuck it up, please. And we are, you have an extra 2d8 radiant on every weapon. There you go, Yasha. Yes! As your upgraded Scald Saber now begins to glow,

not just with a burning, fiery, burning cinder-like flame, but now has a bright, glowing, divine power on its edge. Alright. Does that finish your turn, Caduceus? Yes. Alright, that brings us to Jester up top of Yasha on deck. How far away am I? You are right over by where Yasha and Caduceus are. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to raise my hands up into the air and say, Artie, if there was ever a time I needed you, it's now. And I'm going to swirl my hands around and cast Gate. And I'm going to pull Artagan through the gate.

Let's fucking go! Yes! It has a range of 60 feet. Where are you placing it? Sure! 60 feet? I don't know, like right in the little alleyway. I don't fucking, if I could put him in front of the creature

just for shits and giggles. You can put him in front of the creature? Why not? All right, that's a 60-foot range there. Nice. You put him right over here, essentially. Okay. So as you concentrate, this blooming portal of leaves and vines suddenly apparates in the air, and from it, you watch this cloak unfurl, and a bright orange halo of hair appears.

He goes, don't worry, Jester, I've got you. What have you brought me into? Really? Really? All right. So he's going to go after you, I'll say. Okay. How do you harm something like this?

I don't entirely know, but let's mix it up a bit. Let's go ahead and he's going to go ahead and cast Chain Lightning on this thing out of the gate. It fails its save, actually. Yes! Yes, it is. Let's do some damage. All right, that's going to be... Destroy it, Dorothy!

That's going to be 38 points of lightning damage to it. Okay. Okay. And you watch as part of it tries to arc off towards one of the running civilians, and Hardy goes like, mm-mm, and, like, carves his finger, and it, like, darts off and hits a stone. And you see him, like, smile at you and look up at it

and be like, didn't seem to do too much. What's going on? That's going to finish his go. Yasha, you're up with Bow on deck. All right. I'm going to run over to him. Can I make it 50 feet? 50 feet. You can indeed run over to him. Can I make it? 50 feet? 50 feet, you can indeed run over.

Yes! Let me attack him! 25, 30, 35, 40 gets you right next to Arty. Okay, okay, here we go. Ooh! Okay, that would be... 25? 25 does it. Yes! Okay, so we got a lot going on here.

Okay, so we got 3D6. We have 3D8s. All the numbers. Okay, okay. All right, okay. Here we go. I brought a calculator. Oh, okay.

This isn't bad. This isn't bad. All right. All right. What do you got? I think it's... Four. That's a four. That's another four.

Two. Smarter, not harder. Okay. Okay. All right. So we've got... We've got rage damage. We got divine fury.

Holy weapon. Additional 10. And we got radiant soul. Another 20. Holy moly. Am I forgetting anything else? That's 101 points of damage. 101 points of damage in one hit.

Yeah! What? That's 101 points of damage. 101 points of damage in one hit. Nice! Oh, that feels good! All right! Oh, Yasha! Yasha! Yasha! Those are some very good damage rolls. Okay, and now I'm going to hit it again. Do it.

All right, come on. That's cocked. Why do you still use that dice? Because I love it. Oh, this is why. Okay, okay. Okay, there you go. 31.

31 hits. All right. So less damage in the second strike. Second hit. We got two of these. And do I do Holy Weapon again? Holy Weapon. All right.

And then this again. Okay. Damn. Damn. Ooh, okay. All right. So we got... 19 plus whatever your bonus is.

19. Okay. 19. Plus 20. Plus, that's it. So, uh, 59 points of damage. Oh, shit! Fuck it! Both strikes cutting through its mass swabs. You see, like, it leaves almost like a faded arc of divine energy

in the air that takes a moment to fade. It's like before they vanish. And as you cut through, it just keeps walking. It's taking the hits, but it's not even shrugging. RT, did you see what Yasha did? Yes, I did, and it's quite impressive. It doesn't seem to care much. Are the people running?

Yeah. Okay. They're running. All right, finishing your go, Beauregard, you're up. Let's go, bad bitch. I had a massive plan. Where is Trent, though? Oh, Trent's in it.

Trent is in it. Fuck. Can we get Trent? It doesn't matter. I'm going to stick with the plan. I'm going to rush up 70 feet of movement Alright yeah You get up to it easily

Alongside Yasha If you'd like Hey babe Hi baby I'm so good How are you I think it's ass Yeah alright

A pop pop Natural 20 Yes Yes Yes And a 14. 14 misses. No, sorry, 14 plus 13, which is 27.

27 hits, okay. Okay. Starting with a natural 20. Yes! Bam says 12 plus 7 is 19. 19 damage on the first one. And then, yeah, nine plus seven, 16. Thank God I have you all.

This is great. Floria blows. Go for it. Yes. Yes. A little bit more icky. Okay. 20 total?

20? Yep. That's the hit? Misses. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, no, I already went. Never mind. I thought you were still at advantage.

My bad. 20 misses. 20 misses. Okay, and the other one definitely misses, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to spend three key points to do debilitating barrage. Okay.

So as I run up, I'm going to scrape the hide of Caleb's white dragon as I take my nails and shunt it into his thigh, making it vulnerable to ice damage. All right. Yes. As you bludgeon it, kind of marking its essence with your ki and shifting its physicality,

this strange ancient alien thing, you feel fright go through your body, and its normal resistance to cold becomes a standard damage on the next time it takes hold. Nice. Okay. All righty. But Trent is still resistant to spells, I think? Trent is still resistant to spells inside of him?

You don't know? We don't know yet. That brings us to Omentus, the Scion of Ruins. Omentus! At the beginning of the turn, a pulse of necroc energy filters out for 60 feet in all directions. You watch as everyone around in the city screams and crawls, crumbles, trying to escape, and are taken out by the proximity of this terrifying entity. The village of Blumenthal is falling around, just around it.

Everyone else takes... That's everybody else, because everybody else is in the radius. There's no saves or anything for this? No. Okay, gotcha. You take 31 points of necrotic damage from being within its void hunger. I'm resistant to necrotic? Within its voidid Hunger.

Yes. It is going to, looking down, kind of look over its shoulder and kind of lean towards the direction of... I'm going to say... Hmm. Yeah, it's going to look down at you, Yasha. Bring it, bitch. It's going to use...

It's going to use ire of oblivion. Okay, maybe not. I need you to... JK, JK, JK! It glances down, you watch its eyes begin to glow bright or red, and this, like, weird symbol in the middle of its forehead begins to... bring up energy as it... just blasts this concentrated

beam of burning red pink energy into Megadexterity saving throw. Is it counterspellable? Is this also a sentinel attackable? Because it's attacking something other than me. That would be a natural fucking 20. Yeah!

That's great. So you take half damage. You only take 75 points of force damage. And it's not a spell? It is not a spell. Okay. Can I make a reaction attack? Yes, you may.

Let me hit it with my stick. Okay, 23. 23, just misses. 24. 24 is the magic number. What's your passive perception, Caleb and Beauregard? 21 for me. Passive perception is 19.

Okay. Miss you, Beauregard. No. Yeah, yes. Caleb, as you were in the point of the dragon, kind of glancing up at it, as it turns around and fires the steam into Yasha, you can see where all the shadows are swirling around it. In its chest, where its clavicle and sternum would meet,

you see that strange webbed egg that was shattered by Tread Eggathon still visible, like pulsing out the shadow energy from the center of its chest. Finishing that, it's going to go ahead and move forward. And you call that information out to all of us, right? Right? I will take a bite as he goes. Yasha?

As a reaction. Yes, you can take an attack of opportunity. What about Artie? Does he take an attack of opportunity. What about Artie? Does he get an attack of opportunity? Sure. Let's go ahead and roll for Artie.

Natural one. Alrighty. That's going to be a 20 on Artagan, so no effect. He's like, well, shit. 23 for the Nightmare

in Ivory. It just misses. Oh! Wait, is it moving out of her range? 23 for the nightmare in ivory. It just misses. Oh! Wait, is it moving out of our range? It has moved 60 feet. 25. 30. 44. 60, yeah.

So it starts just moving up into the city. I'll buy an extra reaction if I can. Sure, go for it. Yeah, sentinel. Uh, no. Jesus, 22. You got luck. You got No. Jesus, 22. You got luck. You got luck.

No, wait. I do have luck. This is important. I'm going to burn my one reroll. Come on. Natural 20! Yeah! Roll damage.

Jesus Christ. Okay. That is 15 damage. Sentinel, he does not move. Yes! Please tell me how Sentinel stops this creature. Fair.

Are you being patronizing? I don't know. What do you mean? Yes, I am. It is not stopped by Sentinel. I'm sorry. Oh. But it was a natural 20. I know, and it did some damage.

I wish I could say that, but logically, I'm going to say no. Did it trip? Did it at least give him a little trip? Did he, like, trip a little bit? Yeah, he tripped a little bit. It was like... Okay, good. It looked like a little sheepish and embarrassed

it was like I hope they didn't see and then it just kept going turns to everybody goes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that finishes that turn now Ford you're up with Caleb on deck I'll fly forward 60 feet. How close does that get me? 60 feet from there. 50. 55 will get you up into its back. Is that in melee? Yes. Amazing.

I will take two swipes with the star razor. Do it. What? Oh, that was so close. That is a 25 to hit and a 30 to hit. Both hit. 10, 32, 42. That's 42 points of damage.

And on the second hit, I will dump a third level Divine Smite into it. Slick. It is considered undead, so you get an additional d8 on that. Come on. Alright. Uh, 16 points. 16 points of damage. Alrighty.

Uh, that's my turn. Alrighty. Uh, at the end of your turn, it's going to go ahead and use another legendary, or use a legendary action to void claw you from behind. One of its four arms suddenly rakes you from behind. No, no, no, no, no. That's going to be 34 to hit. Sorry, 24 to hit. Definitely hits.

Let me roll this damn armor of hexes. Please, four to six. Six! Yes! Yes! I'm going to hit the brakes. He's going to fly right by. Great.

You slash it twice, do heavy hits on it, and it's just shrugging it off like it's nothing. You can feel the life force being pulled from your skin, like every pore is seeping. You're very sore at the proximity of this darkness. Caleb, it's your turn. When I use Relentless Hex to bamf to it, can I slide in front of it at least

so that I'm in its way? Oh, sure, yeah. Oh, no! You're now like floating in front of it. Now you can see its gaze as it moves forward, the trails of red as it shifts, and you watch as its vision focuses on you as it continues looming forward.

Where are you going? Caleb, you're up. All right, I have some ideas, but I'm not going to let Beau's work go to waste. The ancient white dragon takes to the sky, arches over and slams down, crushing that wagon right next to Ford. So there is a massive ancient dragon's head right next to you and I am going to vomit ice into its

face. I remember a time where this would have seemed weird. I'll grind your bones to make my bread! That's a 23. DC 22, Khan.

Okay, so it succeeds, but takes full damage. Okay. Yeah, that's good, that's good. Six, hold, please. Hold. Hold. Come on, baby. 77. Nice. 77 points of damage as you blast into it.

You watch as some of the shadow freezes over. Ice shards cover its whole body, and the nearby rooftops behind just... You see it kind of holds for a second, and pushes out, and you see it break and shatter, and the entire ground is filled with a cacophony of shattering glass-sounding ice all around, something you have to instinctually cover your eyes, and the creature just keeps lumbering forward.

And a question, I believe that my frightful presence gets to follow along with an action. If it says that, yeah. Because it's for a multi-attack, it's frightful presence gets to follow along with an action. If it says that, yeah. Because it's for a multi-attack. It's frightful presence, then attacks. So more to save the people behind me. I just let out a wave of dread all around. That is fear 16.

These are people of the town. They've been like frozen in fear just watching this approach and your roar knocks them out of it. They begin shouting at each other and begin going into a run. Nice. Alrighty. Their turn was

next, so... Does that finish your go? I will just whisper to Fjord, We got this! Alright. Luke, you're up with Caduceus on deck. whisper to Ford, we got this. All right. Luke, you're up with Caduceus on deck. I think Caleb's T-Rex-a-trix. It does.

That's true, yeah. It comes like a massive, I think it's as big as the ancient dragon now, like a giant Velociraptor. Velociraptor? It's a T-Rex. I said like a Velociraptor. I was making an analogy. Yeah, but it's like a T-Rex. This said like a Velociraptor. I was making an analogy.

Yeah, but it's like a T-Rex. This is valid. Go to your mind palace and I'll be in mine. It bites its ass. Go for it. Okay, so that is... 18, which don't do nothing. Multi-attack.

One with its bite and two with its claws. Okay, here come the claws. Next one is a 26 to hit. 26 hits. And even higher. So both the claws shred it. Go for it. Okay.

So that's an added D4. Yes. Four versus 10. 13. The first one is 21. And the second is not as good. Three, six, fourteen. Fourteen.

You got it. All right. As that comes around to that. Dundun. Move forward. All righty. Finishing your go, Luke, you're up. Do I see that egg thing? Make a perception check for me. Okay. Come on Finishing your go, Luke, you're up. Do I see that egg thing?

Make a perception check for me. Okay. Come on, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did anyone call it out? Perception. There's an egg. 23.

You do see as it shifts and moves as they come through, as it spins and its claws rake towards the massive dragon that flew down and it's kind of reacting to the space around it. You do see that kind of pulsing flicker in its chest where the artifact is embedded. Okay, bonus action. I'll cast my mom's spell. Bernardo's Voltaic Bolt.

And then I'll shoot her gun into the egg. All right. Okay, that's a 28 to hit. 28 to hit. That's with the cult shot at that point. Oh, that hits, yeah. That's a really high roll. Okay.

Oh, my God. And I get sneak attack because people are base to base with it. You do indeed. Get it, Luke. It's D8. Jeez, I haven't done this in so long. Okay. Oh, D6.

Sorry, sorry. Okay, okay, sorry. D3. Okay. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Twenty-six points of damage? Twenty-six points of damage straight to this artifact. Yes.

As you strike it, you watch as the impact causes it to shudder, and it seems like for a minute the being's shadow that keeps it solid seems to flicker and have to regain itself. That was good. Yeah. Guys! I think I did a thing you gotta hit the egg

the egg thing is the thing oh shit alright Luke did I finish your turn? yeah that's all I got hi okay let's do this then I'm going to

I'm going to pray to my deity. I had an interesting thought. I actually saw this thing earlier. I wonder, it might be easier if this ichor were clear, like ice. I think, if possible, I would like the ichor to become clear and translucent so I can see everything inside of it. All right. You watch as a cold breeze,

colder than the atmosphere of the shadow around it, blows in, and the ground, now covered in frost from the blast of your breath, begins to turn into ice shards that climb up its body. You watch as a cloud forms ahead. You swear for a moment. It looks like a benevolent woman's face that almost seems to look down in disapproval.

The ice begins to climb up into its body, but seems to embed within the shadow, and the black shadow becomes to temporarily become somewhat translucent, and you can see throughout its body, there are all of these like veins of shadow that swarm throughout with runes that glow amongst them and there's a shadow in the center of its chest

that looks like a withered old man that's just kind of hanging there like a puppet. Oh, that's perfect. And I'm so sorry about this, Yasha. I snap my fingers for bonus action and I make Holy Weapon go away. So anything I see within 30 feet of that Holy Weapon now will take 48 radiant damage.

Ooh! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Ooh! That's really good. Is that right, is that 28 points of damage? Yeah. 8, 16, 24, 5, 6... 27 points of radiant damage to both of them. And if they survive, they have to roll for blindness.

This burst of light blasts off of your blade, and as it cascades out, you watch the shadow seems to burn for a moment. The whole thing shimmers for a second, and the weird broken egg in its chest seems to spark and flare. It seems to be reacting to it. Ikithon, also really quick, should roll for blindness. Ikithon is currently not home.

Never mind. Okay, carry on. And it is immune to blind, but good enough. That is 28. Correct. I'm sorry, 28. Carry on. Jester, you're up. Okay. I'm going to run forward as much as I can.

And I'm going to look at Artie. And I'm going to say, you know, I'm so glad that you're here. I want to do this together. I mean, it would be an absolute pleasure. I was hoping to maybe put a little less effort into this, but if it is what you want, my dear, how could I say no? Radiant, radiant, radiant. And I'm going to hold my spell,

and I want to do a spell with Artie. Is this part of... You're going to try and hold the spell together? Okay. With Artie. I'm going to a spell with Artie. Is this part of, you're gonna try and hold the spell together, okay? With Artie, I'm gonna hold Guiding Bolt. Okay, Guiding Bolt. He is going to go ahead and enhance your Guiding Bolt as a reaction. So go ahead and roll an attack.

Okay. Come on, come on, come on. You got this. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Do I add anything to this? Well, he's enhancing it. You have advantage on the attack, sorry. Oh, fuck. Fortune's favor.

No, I rolled a 14. 14, unfortunately, misses. It goes wide. Our tag is like, no, you need to aim it this way. I did. Sorry. That's sometimes how the fake cookie crumbles. All right, that finishes. Sorry. That's sometimes how the fake cookie crumbles. All right, I finished.

No, I know. I rolled a three twice in a row. That's rough. Yasha, you're up. I'm sorry, you all. All right, I'm going to try to attack. I love you. Back to the chest. Okay, you're going to fly up to it.

Fly up. Okay. First hit. That going to fly up to it. Fly up. Okay. First hit. That'll get you up to there. It's cocked. There it is. Okay, 25. I know I suck at D&D.

25 misses. 25 misses? Because you're going directly for that part in the chest that has a higher AC. All right. I'll just hit him. Go for it. Oh. That's so boring.

It's now or never. Reckless. Great Weapon Master. And I'm going to go for the chest again. Come on. Come on. I don't know. I didn't try it. I should have done it. for the chest again. Come on, come on. I don't know, I didn't try it.

I should have done it! Fuck! 25 again. Shit! Misses, unfortunately. Shit! Going wide, Beau, you're up. I got 24 hits. This is against the thing in its chest, which is a higher AC.

Ashley, don't you have your fortune's favor? Oh, oh! Yes! Did you already use it? Okay. So does that mean I roll it? You roll one more time. You can do it, you can do it, oh! Yes! Did you already use it? Okay. So does that mean I roll it? You roll one more time. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it!

Oh no, I'm scared! Okay, okay, okay. Oh man, oh man, come on. Oh no, that's real bad, everybody. Didn't make it. Where's the shot? That's okay, Beauregard, you're up. Hey, you and me, baby!

Okay. Son of a bitch. I'm gonna, okay, with my unarmored movement, I can, like, run up walls. Can I run up this thing? Can I park more? Make an acrobatics check. You can punch ghosts. I think you can leap off of tendrils.

All right. Yeah. Okay. 25. 25 to hit it in general? No, for acrobatics. Oh, for acrobatics. That's right. Yeah, you managed to jump off the rooftop of the

nearby building and leap up in the air towards it. What are you doing? Uh, Jesus. Okay, can I reach into its chest and try and rip this fucker out? Yes. You can, yeah. You can certainly try.

What do I do? You reach up and grab onto it, and you're hanging in the air. It's cold and burning in your fingertips. Make a strength check. Oh, strength. Strength? You're ripping something free. I don't know what else to tell you about it.

Arcana? Witness me. You're ripping something free. I don't know what else to tell you about it. Alright. Witness me. Say it! Natural 20! Witness me! Yes! Wow. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Woo! Wow!

Beauregard Lionett. Wow! All right. How do you want to do this? Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Wow. All right. How do you want to do this? Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh my win. So, I'm going to rip it from its chest. And I'm going to look at Gelidon, at Caleb White Dragon, and everybody else. And I'm going to say, open wide. I'm gonna just, yes! Toss it into the White Dragon's mouth.

As you pull the egg from the chest of this entity, all of the shadows begin to swirl around you, wind begins to build up, and you watch it be pulled into the quickly reforming egg. As it begins to pull in, you see a hint of Trent Ikithon himself be left there in space before the tendrils hook him and pull him screaming into the egg as well. Oh!

Lob it into the air and into the mouth of Gelidon if you choose to swallow it. I will... Why did you have to say it like that? If we're in how do you want to do this territory, I will launch at it and vomit up more ice and

catch it in the air and then just turn wrestler style and suplex it and catch it in the air, and then just turn wrestler style and suplex it, smash it into the earth, and shatter it into a thousand. And then the other T-Rex will run up Galadon's body with Luke on top, and kaiju scream into the air! No! As the dust... No!

As the dust from the crater subsides, the screech of the T-Rex echoing throughout Blumenthal. The people of the village grow quiet. The first bit of sunlight crests over the distant mountains. And though a handful have fallen, many more have been saved this morning. As you revert back from your dragon form

and you inspect the crater left behind from the impact, the egg remains intact. But resealed, and you inspect the crater left behind from the impact. The egg remains intact, but resealed and captured. People begin to cheer and clap. There's a lot of people in your hometown. Oh my God, I can't believe you saved the day, RT! Thank you so much for everything! I don't think we could have done it without you.

Seriously. Seriously. Well, I mean, I was obviously the most important part of this entire battle. I know, you really were. It was literally the very least I could have done. Please always have more of a favor in your back pocket if you ever need me, of course. Once a week, I mean, I make you get me coffee. All the time, it's extremely frustrating. But for my favorite, my favorite wonderful little playwrightic I am ever at your disposal.

Anyway, pleasure to see you all. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Divine intervention. Yes, Jester, how can I help you? For this week, I would like for you to just kind of hang out with us for a while while we, you know, take care of the city and stuff and clean up. Thanks. For you, anything. All right, chums, what are we doing? This town looks like it could use a good party. What did you ask him to do? What did you ask him to do?

Just hang around. As people in the town continue to cheer and clap, Artagan raises his hands and you watch the flowers begin to bloom even more vibrant. Vines begin to climb up buildings and for a brief moment, like a hint of the Feywild, creeps into Blumenthal to match the mood of cheer and salvation.

The two massive kaiju that remain in creeps into Blumenthal to match the mood of cheer and salvation. The two massive kaiju that remain in the center of Blumenthal both shrink down into identical Caleb's with Luke standing between them. Caleb II slides his hand up the air behind him and a doorway to

a familiar hall with nine sides opens up as I cast Demiplane and Caleb Prime uses telepathy to push the egg into the room and shut the door. Neat trick. Welcome to the Mighty

Nine, kid. neat trick welcome to the mighty nine kid Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke

Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke he's still grounded though right there's a grounding coming with all of this clearly you're grounded

this was so cool and so scary. I think I want to go home. But can I maybe come out with you guys again sometime? Two weeks. Nine days a year. I love you guys. Thanks. I'm going to throw up now.

You would have made your parents proud. We'll be sure not to tell them most of this. Yeah. Thanks. You're so cool, Ford. You're so cool, Ford. You're so cool, Ford. Well. You are pretty cool.

Bitch, I know. But, uh, I think we should get Luke home after we party tonight. Yeah? Agreed. party tonight. Yeah? Agreed. Jester? Will you marry me? What? What?

You motherfucker. Oh, Admiral Tusktooth. Yes, I will. Oh! Big kiss. You watch a wreath of vines and flowers bloom around the ground and kind of curl up around the Mazar Tagin, just kind of swirling his fingers. Can I leave now?

No, we're partying first. No, stay. All right, I just was asking. I've got things to do, but I'll get to it later. It's totally fine. This calls for a celebration, and I take a moment to throw up the nine-sided tower,

and the cats begin to cook a feast to feed all of Blumenthal and the Mighty Nein. And our junior ranger. Wild out, kid. Wild out! Wild out. As you're swarmed by surviving townsfolk and the day celebration of life

and your protection begins to rise, we look up past the now still-blossoming sun rays that bring a fresh morning to Blumenthal, and the sky that still holds the woven threads of the ley lines left aloft by the apogee solstice. For while this was a singular victory, this is still the beginning of much work to be done. And that's where we're going to go ahead and finish this.

One shot. Thank you all so very much for joining us. We love you very much and is it Thursday yet? Good night. Oh yeah. Thank you. To be continued...