Critical Role - The Nautilus Ark: A Johnson Corp Odyssey | Ashley's One-Shot
Episode Date: September 16, 2021When the last of humanity is in cryostasis on the Ark, it’s up to the intrepid crew of the Nautilus to ferry them to a fresh start on a new planet… If they can make it.The Nautilus Ark takes inspi...ration from many sci-fi survival horror films, and as such, contains darker themes of isolation, body horror, and self-harm. Practice self-care and use your best judgment to step away if needed. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResourcesThe Nautilus Ark: A Johnson Corp Odyssey is a homebrew mashup of Mothership by Tuesday Knight Games and Alien RPG by Free League with original goodness crafted by our team made special for this one-shot. Check the systems out below below:Mothership: https://www.mothershiprpg.comAlien RPG: https://www.alien-rpg.comThank you to all of the incredible Kickstarter backers who unlocked this adventure as part of The Legend of Vox Machina Kickstarter Campaign! For the latest updates on The Legend of Vox Machina, check out https://critrole.com/animated
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Welcome to the Nautilus Arc, a Johnson Corp. Odyssey.
This is Ashley Johnson, the GM of this sci-fi survival horror one-shot in space.
If you'd like a weekly heads-up on what content we have coming up over here at Critical Role Land,
be sure to check out our programming schedule posted to CritRole.com every Monday at 10 a.m. Pacific. Without further ado, let's set sail through the stars with The Nautilus Arc, a Johnson Corp. Odyssey.
Oh, hello, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role,
where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit here and play whatever this is going to be.
So tonight, we will be playing The Nautilus Ark.
The Nautilus Ark.
A Johnson Corp. Odyssey.
A homebrew sci-fi survival horror one-shot.
So just so you guys know,
I'm going off script here, guys, do not panic.
This is a bit of a love letter to all of the movies that I loved growing up.
So some of you may find some things that little things that you can pick from certain different little movies.
Anyway, announcements.
OK, for Ashley.
Here we go.
It's just me doing announcements.
It's hot.
So thank you so much for joining us live
on Twitch and YouTube,
and to join in our,
to join in our, in our live,
oh boy, this is going well,
and moderated community chat,
please head on over to our Twitch channel.
This one shot was unlocked as part of the Legend of Vox Machina
Kickstarter campaign.
So this is your fault.
Thank you all to the incredible backers who made this a reality.
For the most recent updates on the Legend of Vox Machina,
check out critrole.com slash animated.
And finally, this one shot is being prerecorded.
Thank God.
I'm sure all of you who have done this for the first time,
I would suggest not doing it on camera.
I'm sure you all can attest to this.
Previous.
Okay, anyway.
Hey, we're going to throw it to the future
for some announcements. Take it away, anyway. Hey, we're going to throw it to the future for some announcements.
Take it away, future.
Thank you, past Ashley.
Before we get into tonight's one shot, we have a very special announcement.
The Critical Role Foundation has partnered with Shanti Bhavan,
a wonderful school in India that's dedicated to building an enriched life for students
from India's lowest socioeconomic class to help break the cycles of generational poverty.
Our goal for this campaign is to raise $160,000, which will fund a brand new girls' dormitory
and finish funding the music program at Shanti Bhavan.
And since CRF is a 501c3 nonprofit, donations are 100% tax deductible in the United States.
You can join our campaign by donating directly at criticalrolefoundation.org,
share our campaign with your friends and family,
or by purchasing our brand new Critical Role Foundation merch,
which future Laura can tell you more about.
That's right, future Ashley.
We are thrilled to launch our first official Critical Role Foundation merchandise.
You can get your very own CRF t-shirt,
your very own CRF hat,
and enamel pin right now in any of our Critical Role stores.
Portions from your purchases are donated directly
to the Critical Role Foundation
to support our active campaigns,
like right now with Shanti Baupin,
or if we're between campaigns,
to be distributed amongst our core partners.
The exact donation amount varies by item and by store,
so be sure to check out the product pages
for more information.
Thank you so much for supporting our campaign
and sharing it with your friends and your family
and for helping us leave the world better than we found it.
And now, without further ado, let us throw it back to Past Ashley for some retro sci-fi goodness.
Past Ashley, take it away.
How about those announcements?
I think it's time to jump in to this episode
that I have prepared.
I'm not drunk yet.
Working on it.
But let's jump in to the Nautilus Ark.
The Nautilus Ark. The Nautilus Ark. Thank you. In the year 3051 PD,
the moon was hit by a meteor,
splitting it in half.
The planet slowly started to become The moon was hit by a meteor, splitting it in half.
The planet slowly started to become an inhabitable home.
Life as we know it could not continue to exist in these conditions, but we had time to prepare.
We asked ourselves as a species,
are we worth it?
Is this simply the end of our life cycle?
Many species have fallen and perhaps it is our turn.
If we can't evolve through this,
do we deserve to keep going?
The answer was yes.
It took 10 years of planning.
Every nation worked together to create a mass migration
to a planet that seemed to once hold life
in a system far, far away.
It has everything we would need to sustain life.
Water, oxygen, nitrogen.
The Johnson Corporation,
a multi-trillion dollar conglomerate
known for renewable energy, cybernetics,
and their technological advancements in space exploration,
won the bid for the design and the build of the Ark.
Its CEO, Ash Johnson,
an eccentric, garish, moody, controversial inventor,
entrepreneur, and chief engineer.
Conniving.
Hated for her power and wealth.
And unconventional methods in politics.
J-Corp was celebrated for their contributions for moving the human race forward,
or in this case, helping it survive completely.
Sometimes we have to turn to the people we need,
not the people that we want.
The choice.
How do we choose?
There is no way to take everyone.
How do we decide who goes and who stays?
The final decision?
A worldwide lottery.
You win, you have a ticket for migration.
A 30-year trek in a stasis pod
hurtling across the universe.
You lose, you stay on the planet,
awaiting the inevitable that will surely come.
We start our story aboard the Nautilus Ark TSS-193,
life support mission.
The payload, the last of humanity.
A spaceship careening towards us in complete silence.
Cool.
Cool!
Ashley fucking Jester.
Isn't it so cool?
Okay, let me get back in.
So, this is our arc.
What the fuck?
Oh my god, we're carrying humans?
Holding our precious cargo.
Nice.
Our centrifuge providing gravity,
and last, but certainly not least, the Nautilus,
where our crew has been kept alive
in Stasis Pod in the Cryo Chambers.
This crew is the best at what they do,
the best in their fields of studies,
each chosen for their specific skill sets.
Brilliant, strong, wise, insightful, and perceptive.
They were chosen for this incredible, inconceivable task,
and if they fail, we are truly lost forever.
Let's meet our crew.
Oh, it's me first.
Okay, it's me.
I am. Sorry, I didn't mean
to put you on the spot. No, it's great.
I am up for the challenge, which is why I am here.
I am Nomen El-Freno, Doctor Nomen El-Freno.
Dr. Wiser has empowered me to use that moniker.
You know, it's a small step for mankind,
but a large leap for frogkind,
and just excited to be here.
Oh, and I'm an astrobiologist.
Yeah.
Dr. Wiser, you should speak now. Thank you. Yeah. Just, yeah.
Dr. Wiser, you should speak now.
Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah, hello, my name is Dr. Ramsey Wiser.
I'm a computer engineer, software engineer.
I help maintain the systems on board,
make sure everything works smoothly,
and problem solve as we go.
We are venturing into the unknown
and new problems arise all the time.
You, what's your name?
Feel free.
Hold on, I'm writing down what you do, smartass biologist.
No. Yes!
You're the biologist, software engineer.
Astrobiologist.
A biologist. I went through four years
of school for the astro part.
You can call me Gunnery Sergeant Cameron Garrett.
Cam, Cameron?
Cameron Garrett.
Cameron Garrett.
Sergeant Garrett, if you must.
I'm a Marine.
I'm here to babysit all you eggheads and number humpers.
Make sure that this ship runs tight.
Keep strict security in detail.
I've earned this cush position because I made my name on the front lines.
Watched many men fall, but I remained.
So I'll make sure that everything stays safe
so you can do your jobs.
What about you, Ears?
Ears?
Well, I don't know about that.
My name is Forrest Corman.
Basically the ship mechanic.
Dr. Wiser handles the software.
I'm more of the hardware expert on the ship mechanic. Dr. Wiser handles the software. I'm more of the hardware expert on the ship.
I'm a systems engineer, astronautics engineering.
I make sure that everything is working on board.
I'm also up for a game of Scrabble or Monopoly,
if anyone wants to spend some time at the end of the day,
or just talk.
I'm very good at Scrabble.
I'm also very, very good at Scrabble.
I'm better at him than Scrabble.
Scrabble it is. Yeah.
All right.
Captain Glass, as you all know.
Captain.
Sergeant.
Not going to lie, when Johnson Corp asked me to
take charge of this mission, I was unaware we'd be
hauling such precious cargo, but you know what?
I'm here to get the job done
and make sure every one of you is safe.
Fuck.
Good speech. Thanks. Good speech. Thanks.
Good speech.
What a wonderful crew.
You wake with an alarm,
blaring.
You're still in the cryo tubes,
I should have told you that, but thank you so much for,
that was amazing RP.
You're already jumping right in.
Boo!
So, technically, we met each other beforehand.
That was all before we met.
That was all, yeah.
Boo! On the tubes.
Right.
So the breathing tube.
I'm not kidding these things.
The glass is inches above your face.
I need you all to make a body save.
Oh, that fucking face.
Okay. Here we go, first roll.
Bloop.
No. Nope.
Nope.
Yes! Yes?
Yes! Roll the tube.
You, whoever succeeded,
you are able to get the tube out.
You get out of your pod.
Ugh.
You're fine.
Did anybody fail?
You're panicking.
You're feeling claustrophobic.
You are not able to remove the tube
and you can't seem to find the evacuation button
on the interior of your pod.
So you're going to take an extra point of stress.
It's getting real.
Do we see their panic?
Yeah, are we out? Can we get out?
You are all out of the pod.
Are we in our Sunday best?
You absolutely are.
Fuck yeah.
Taking stock, everybody.
Seeing who's got what. Fuck yeah. Taking stock, everybody. Seeing who's got what.
All right.
I'm going to run over to Forrest here
and try to get his machine open.
I'll run over to Dr. Wiser's.
Okay.
Sergeant, find out what that alarm is for.
Yes, ma'am.
You see a...
In the room. It's a, in the room,
it's just as you left it,
just as you went to sleep 30 years ago.
The pods are all in a circle
and you all have clothing at the base of your pod
if you wish to put them on.
You don't have to.
There's a touchpad on the wall.
I don't want to deprive anybody of the joy of this,
but I'll start putting my clothes on.
But I'm not going to get dressed
before I try to get my crew out of their pods.
Yeah, do that.
As ordered by the captain,
I'll make my way over to the touchpad
and see if I can figure out what the problem is.
Great.
You both, you know how to get somebody out of these pods.
You've been on ships like this many times.
You are able- The code is 6969.
That can't be right.
Try it.
It's 6868, right?
Nice.
You are both released out of your cryotube.
Thank you, Captain.
You're welcome.
I say as I start putting my clothes on.
Thank you. Yeah.
Sergeant Gunner...
Sergeant Garrett.
Sergeant Garrett.
Gunnery Sergeant Cameron Garrett.
You get to the touchpad panel.
Yep.
It comes on, and you hear the ship's AI.
Mother.
Good morning, Nautilus crew.
Apologies for the abrupt awakening.
We have reached our destination,
but we have taken some damage when entering the solar system.
We passed through a meteor shower,
and the starboard side of the ship above the science lab seems to have been breached,
and we are currently leaking oxygen.
I have sealed the science lab doors
to ensure depressurization does not happen.
I have also sealed off the Ark from our oxygen supply
to make sure that they are kept safe.
Oh shit.
That was fucking awesome.
Yeah, that was pretty cool.
So I was so blown away by what just happened.
The science lab is where the breach is?
Yes.
And the starboard said,
Or you're right.
So on the outside of the ship,
maybe from the meteor shower,
there's a breach in the hull.
So Mother sealed that room to make sure
that the rest of the ship didn't get depressurized.
Can we ask Mother a question?
Yeah, can we ask Mother questions?
Sure.
Mother.
What's the oxygen level in the rest of the ship?
Look, I have one job on this ship.
It's stupid! It's stupid!
But I have one job.
We are currently at 60%.
Oh.
That's lower than I thought.
Yeah.
That's significant.
Do we know how to get our oxygen levels stable?
Is everything stable?
I think so.
Mother, is the damage to the science lab
repairable or beyond?
It seems to be repairable.
Mother, what is the rate in which we are losing oxygen?
It seems to be pretty fast.
Do you have like a percentage, like a metric, or like a ratio?
Oh my god, I always get that question.
I mean, it would just be nice to have like a little bit of a time limit, you know?
I use the keypad and I open the cryo chamber door to the main hallway.
Where is the cryo chambers?
We need to make our way, is anybody injured?
We need to make our way over to the science lab, then.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm actually just going to,
the life support systems are just on the other side
of this door, right?
Yeah. Yes, they are.
There's no terminal in there.
I'm going to try and use the cryo chamber terminal
to check the life support systems
to see if this is a engineering issue
or something more complicated.
You, being the computer genius
and scientist that you are,
you are able to determine that it is fixable,
but it needs to be fixed from the outside.
So we have a problem
and we're going to need someone to get into a suit.
What kind of a suit?
An outside suit.
Oh.
The issue on the outside of the science lab? What kind of a suit? An outside suit. Oh.
The issue on the outside of the science lab?
The issue is on the outside of the science lab.
There will be no access to what we need to get to in here.
I'm going to go to my quarters.
Mother, how soon before our scheduled wake up did this alarm happen?
This happened about two hours ago.
How long have we been traveling?
30 years, my love.
Oh.
I just remembered.
I left Virgil in the science lab
in his own little tiny snake cryo chamber.
Wait.
For hibernation.
You have a snake?
Yeah.
He's my best friend.
He's a garter snake.
His name is Virgil.
A garter snake?
Yeah.
I'm not real familiar with snakes.
Is that one of them big fuckers?
He's a little tinier. Kind of skinny. Okay. Snake? Yeah. I'm not real familiar with snakes. Is that one of them big fuckers?
He's a little tinier, kind of skinny.
Okay.
He's black and he's got electric blue stripes down him.
Just to set the tone for this also,
I'm sure you all remember the structure of this ship,
but our airlocks on the outside are on the opposite side
of the science lab.
And GM, not mother, GM,
as the repairman for the ship
and knowing the general layout,
where are the suits for exiting the ship located?
So you would know.
You guys all know this ship very well.
Your suits and any materials,
any things that you would need to do a spacewalk,
if you needed to, would be in the cargo bay.
Okay.
It'd be in the cargo bay.
Okay.
Well, good, because that's where we need to go to get out.
I'll volunteer.
More than one would probably be wise, though.
I'll open the door to the hallway.
You make your way out of the hallway and
you know the ship very well.
You know there's a med bay across the way.
If you go to the left, there's the galley where if you're hungry, if you want some coffee,
it's all there.
You've got your crew quarters
and an arms locker in the galley.
If you go up the ship, that takes you to the bridge
where your main command center
and your main computer system is.
I'm going to head towards the galley
and start brewing my good coffee.
That's in my private quarters.
Hold on a second, Doc.
Everything in this hallway looked like it did
30 years ago.
Everything looks the same.
All right. My god.
Sergeant, we ran into a meteor,
not an army.
My apologies, Captain.
My years of experience come back to haunt me.
Yeah, I'm going to need coffee
if I'm going to be dealing with this right now, excuse me.
Is there a, if we make our way to the galley.
Make our way, make our way to the galley.
Now it's real. Yeah.
Are the doors on the ship,
do they have windows on them or are they solid metal?
Each of the rooms, the med bay, the science lab,
they all do have little windows, minus the engine room.
But all of them have little windows to,
you can peek in and out of just to see who's in there.
Are there port windows to the outside
in any of the rooms other than the bridge?
Or does the bridge even not have a port window?
The bridge has a very large window
that you can see all of space.
As the doc is heading out to get his coffee,
I'm going to make my way to the Arms Locker.
Absolutely.
You know, just to run an inventory, nothing else.
Absolutely.
You get into the Arms Locker,
once you get into the galley,
and you find...
Speak to me.
Sing it.
A combat shotgun. Oh, yeah. Sing it.
A combat shotgun. Oh, yeah. Betsy.
A flamethrower.
Yep, Gertrude.
A pulse rifle.
Sally.
A smart rifle.
Rick.
And a revolver.
Rifle with a PhD? Does it have an app?
It's an app. It's an app.
Revolver. It's just an app.
Let me give you the numbers for these.
Combat shotgun is 21 in your deck of cards.
Flamethrower is 22.
Your pulse rifle is 25.
Your revolver, 26.
And your smart rifle, 27.
If you need me to say that again, I will.
21, combat shotgun, 22, flamethrower,
25, pulse rifle, 27, smart rifle, 26 revolver.
I'm going to rely on you, Sergeant,
to dole out the weapons anybody needs.
Well, I'm sorry, Captain.
I thought there was just an asteroid impact
on the exterior.
Seems extraneous to me.
It's just we're dealing with a hull breach,
not with a mecha attack, right?
So I'm going to head over to the cargo bay
and start gearing up.
All right.
Can somebody run an ops?
Can somebody get on a computer and find out
if there's damage to any other area of the ship
other than just the science lab that we don't know about?
I've got my coffee. I'm heading to the bridge.
And I'm going to go over to the science lab
and look through the bridge. And I'm going to go over to the science lab and look through the window.
You look through the window and...
Virgil?
Virgil?
You can see...
the motion sensor lights are not activated.
So you can't see anything.
But you do,
you think that you hear a clicking noise.
I don't have ears, so I put my ear hole up to the door.
Do I hear anything better?
The clicking gets a little louder.
But from what you can see,
you can't quite see any damage,
but mostly because the motion sensor lights
are not activated.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
I'm going to ask Mother to turn off the lights in the galley
and hopefully we'll be able to see better
into the science lab.
That's a good idea.
Shine a flash. Does that work?
You can't shine a flashlight through a glass.
Sure, you can do a flashlight.
Sure. Do we have flashlights?
I'm going to go into my crew quarters,
my captain's quarters, and see if I got a flashlight in there.
Yeah.
Are you turning the lights off for a particular reason?
So that we can see better into the science lab.
The lights are reflecting on the glass.
Okay.
Are there any flashlights in the armory?
You do. There happens to be a flashlight in the pantry.
Oh.
Right in the galley, ready for you to use.
Great.
Go over and get that flashlight.
Mother turns off the lights at your request.
And you shine your light into the window
and you can't see anything.
Everything seems to be normal,
but you do notice the breach in the hull.
How big is it?
It's small.
Maybe the size of a bagel.
Eh, it's a bagel hole. No big.
Unless there's any kind of threat or issue in the cargo bay,
I'm gone in search of gear, toolkit, blowtorch,
the things that I would need to jury rig a patch
in Science Lab.
Most of the equipment that you have found,
at least in the galley.
Oh wait, were you guys in the cargo bay?
No, he was going to the cargo bay.
You were going to the cargo bay.
On my own, yeah.
You get to the cargo bay. On my own, yeah. You get to the cargo bay and
you find
a first aid kit,
which is number six on your index cards.
I'll scoop that up, yeah.
You find a hand welder, number eight.
Definitely scoop that.
Long range comms. Definitely scoop that. Long-range comms.
Ooh. Yep.
That's clutch. Yeah, that is.
Number 12.
Okay. Yeah.
Mag boots.
Number 13.
Also important.
An oxygen tank.
Number 16.
Mm-hmm.
So there's just one of each of these items?
There's one of each. Okay.
And you find two vac suits.
Number 31.
31.
Are the vac suits known as the Deathwalker's Ward?
Yes, they are.
Oh, you also find a hazard suit,
which is number 30.
30.
Is there a dolly or a carton here?
I just start bringing, I bring it back in two handfuls,
two armfuls. Great.
But I keep the mag boots specifically,
and the blow torch, the hand welder.
and the blow torch, the hand welder.
Great.
Ooh, my medikit.
Here you go.
Yep.
I hand it off.
I'm going to head up to the bridge
and make sure that we're clear of the asteroid field.
Great.
So you both have made your way to the bridge.
As you walk in, you see
the planet below you
through this expansive window.
It's beautiful.
Swirls of blue and green,
and you see a moon and its hole.
This planet, as far as you can tell, looks perfect. and green, and you see a moon and its hole.
This planet, as far as you can tell, looks perfect.
Wow. Just like home.
I mean, I imagine that's what home looked like.
I never saw anything that blue before.
Well, GM, question. Might've missed it in the beautiful opening narration.
How long before we took off 30 years ago?
Like how long was the moon broken and the Ark left?
10 years.
So those of us on this ship lived on Earth
before calamity happened.
You did. You did.
It's a slow and awful process
of the Earth slowly breaking down
because of the separation of the moon.
I imagine even before that moon broke apart,
our Earth would be pretty fucked.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
It was starting to get bad.
Yeah.
Real bad.
Mother?
Yes?
Do we have footage
from the two minutes before the damage
was taken in the science lab, either interior or exterior.
Let me check the files.
I love her.
You see on some of the computers,
which are here, all of these little purple, pink
squares are your terminals, your computers,
anything you would need to access,
Mother, anything else.
Okay.
You move me to the terminal?
That would be it. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, let me get you guys out of the-
Oh yeah, I'm up at the terminal, too.
I'm in the bridge. Okay.
Oh, this is so cool. I'm in the bridge. Okay.
This is so cool. I'm in the galley.
You're in the galley.
Forest is in the galley as well?
Yeah. Yes, currently, yeah.
And I've given Dr. Frenno the med kit.
I'm actually in my crew quarters
because I got to get a fresh fucking stogie.
This one's 30 years old.
Been sitting in my mouth.
It's an antique. You're in there.
The whole time in the cryo chamber.
You're just crouching with a cigar in your mouth.
It's fused with the inside of his mouth.
Wall.
Technology is fucking amazing.
You're in there, you're sitting on the toilet,
and it's an amazing piece of machinery.
The toilet is? Oh yeah. It's one of those ones that gives you a. The toilet is? Oh yeah.
It's one of those ones that gives you
a wash off afterwards?
Oh yeah. Do you have a good book
or a magazine to read while you're in there?
I do, Armory Weekly.
All your highest calibers and longest shots.
You're perv.
It hasn't been updated in 30 years.
It's a 30-year-old copy.
You might as well be in the dentist's office at that point.
Oh my god.
Very well-armed dentist.
The world's passed my back.
But there were no new issues.
That's true.
Is anything happening as I sit on the toilet
since it's been 30 years,
or is it just a bunch of toots,
like you're in elevation?
You're busting some toots, for sure.
Toot.
And they are real long ones.
Yep.
Some that are just like.
Those are freeze-dried parts.
It's a lot of liquid.
You had a lot of liquid in your body from the cryo tube.
So it's a liquidy shit.
And the only tube we had in us
was down the old flapper trap?
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
Mother is able to pull up the video
from the cameras that are on top of the ship.
You do see a meteor shower,
and it's beautiful.
But you only see one small little speck
that seems to pass through the hull.
A shield should have protected us from this.
Yeah, that's weird.
Also, in theory, there might still be matter
from the meteor shower in the science lab.
Most definitely.
Mother.
Yes?
I know that we can't open the doors
to the science lab now.
That would endanger the rest of the ship.
Can we, if suited up,
can we open the stopgap measures
between galley and science lab
in the ventilation system to access it?
You could certainly try.
And GM, just a question.
Because Mother is speaking,
can we hear her in the respective parts of the ship
that we're in, or only in the one
where the question is being asked?
You can hear her throughout.
Nice.
And can we hear them ask the question
or just the response?
Just the response.
I'll do that.
I go up to find the captain.
Captain Glass?
Yes?
If we need to get into the science lab,
we could close off.
If a few of us got into suits,
we could close off oxygen to the galley only temporarily,
go in through vents, open up ventilation to Science Lab
and enter that way.
Or go around the outside.
It might be easier to do it from the inside?
Sure.
I'm pretty sure Mother said the only way to fix the hole,
though, is on the outside.
I did help design the ship.
That's true.
Oh.
I mean, if you think that we'll be able
to get through the ventilation,
I thought they were all sealed off out of safety measures.
Well, they open and close.
Since I heard Mother say,
you can certainly try, I finish my business
and I'll make my way up to the bridge
to see what the fuck she's responding to.
How many oxygen suits do we have on the ship?
You have the two vac suits
and two oxygen tanks.
All right.
So two of us could go into the science lab
and everybody else would have to stay separated.
Exiting the galley and the, well, science lab.
Yeah.
Galley for the moment, but it's your call.
It will absolutely work to go around,
just in the interest of time, I thought, maybe.
So you want to use the vents
like a decompression chamber, is that the idea?
Yeah, between each chamber on the ship,
there is sort of an iris that can seal and open
and stop oxygen flow.
So we could, in theory, have a couple of us,
one or two of us, suit up, wait in the galley,
close off air to every other chamber of the ship, enter.
I feel like I should point out,
although this is not my specialty here,
is that the galley is an awful lot of oxygen.
So if this doesn't go well,
we are losing a lot of environment.
I'm going to let you guys figure it out.
I'm just going to do a little perimeter check
and I'll leave the bridge and start working
in a clockwise fashion down through the other rooms
just to make sure Mother hasn't missed something.
Since I can't contribute to this discussion much.
I tend to agree with Dr. Wiseman on this.
I don't think it's worth the risk
of losing the amount of oxygen.
We're already at 60%.
Dr. Wiser, yeah, okay.
How, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How long will it take to get from one side of the ship
to the other on the hull?
From the cargo bay, exiting the airlock.
It's going to take about 30 minutes.
Ooh.
That is a lot of time.
30 minutes there, however long it takes to fix it, and 30 minutes back.
30 minutes, oh god.
I think it's worth the risk.
Mother.
That's a lot of oxygen to lose.
Yes?
Would it be easier to patch the current hull damage
if we did have access to the science lab?
Theoretically.
I believe it would be easier to fix it from the outside
so we would not lose any more oxygen on the interior.
We are currently at 45%.
Oh shit, we got currently at 45%.
Oh shit, we got to go.
Let's, if you can download a manual or otherwise
for this procedure that we can give to Mr. Forest.
Coming your way.
While they're doing that and having this discussion,
I'm in the galley and I'm going to check this
computer console and see if there,
I'm going to scan for any other life forms on the ship.
Great.
Your snake has run away.
Let's get you suited up.
Virgil?
Virgil.
You are
scanning on your terminal.
And you know the makeup of every life form that is aboard.
But there's something else.
You, being a biologist know that
it almost looks as if this is
an endoparasite feeding off of the oxygen.
All right, doc, I'm going to make my way to Medbay.
Just let me know if you need anything.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Surgeon? Just let me know if you need anything. Wait, wait, wait. Sergeant?
I think your gut instinct, as they say, might've been a little bit more correct.
Mine?
That's just from gutting all the chaw after years.
Oh. Gives you iron stomach.
No, meaning I think you were right
that there might be something larger at play here.
What do you mean?
An army, Sergeant.
An army of tiny little parasites.
I'm going to need you to elaborate a little bit.
Keep it simple, will you? Okay, yeah.
Let's go talk to the others real quick.
Here, just come with me.
So I go grab Betsy.
Combat shotgun.
Great. Ooh, yeah.
I think by this point,
Forrest and I would have made our way to the galley
because we're getting him suited up.
Oh, so you make your way to us.
Yeah. Oh!
We're all converging.
I'm starting the whole systems diagnostic.
Great, okay.
I can hear, though.
So I had a little bit of an idea I'm starting the whole systems diagnostic. Great, okay. I can hear, though. So.
I had a little bit of an idea after you all were like,
oh, maybe the rock, the meteor is still inside the lab.
And I was like, ooh, that could be a really great
opportunity to test for alien life forms in astrobiology.
They might have hitched a ride on it.
Anyway, and I was also curious,
because it seems like the oxygen level
has been bleeding a lot.
You think there's an army of parasites on the ship?
I think there is something else on the ship.
I don't think, I kind of know,
pretty like 98% confirmed
that there is an oxygen absorbing parasite on board.
They probably feed off of the oxygen
and turn it into something toxic like carbon monoxide
or something like that.
Can I go over to the terminal
and see if there's any way to get the security cameras
active in the science lab?
You turn on the security cameras in the science lab
and again, it's dark in there.
It's dark in there. It's dark in there.
We got to get it fixed.
Do you think you can override the lights
and maybe get some lights on?
Is that something you can do?
If they're broken, they're broken,
but let me see what I can do.
I think I would be suited up by now.
What would that be?
Would that be mechanical repair? That would be, I'm trying to do it with software. I think I would be suited up by now. What would that be? Would that be mechanical repair?
That would be, I'm trying to do it with software.
I'm just, I'm at the terminal.
Mother, how many of these spacesuits
do we have available to us? We have two of them.
Just two.
And a bio suit.
Okay, make a,
an intellect, a mechanical repair roll.
Intellect, mechanical repair?
I succeed.
The lights are able to turn on in the science lab.
We're back up.
You see slight movement, Ha ha ha! We're back up.
You see
slight movement, but mostly that's because there's
a hole in the hull.
So there's some things that are flying around.
You do notice that Virgil is not in his cage anymore.
Virgil is not in his cage anymore. Virgil?
Can you zoom in on the hole breach?
You zoom in on the hole breach,
and
you can see next to the hole that there is
You can see next to the hole that there is
a black ichor that is dripping
from the ceiling.
That's not normal.
Oh. Did you say it was an endomorphic oxygen parasite?
Is that what you said?
An endo-parasite.
An endo-parasite.
What's an endo-parasite?
Well, you see, my concern is,
with the rate that it is absorbing oxygen,
it wouldn't be absorbing oxygen that fast
unless it was metabolizing it into energy
or carbon-based material,
meaning I think it's growing very fast.
Can we kill it?
I walk swiftly to the arms locker
and I grab the flamethrower.
I'd like a weapon, too.
Oh, I read your end doc file.. I'd like a weapon, too.
Oh, I read your enddoc file.
I know this is your favorite, Captain. It's free.
I'll take something, if you have something.
A weapon?
Yes, a weapon.
Can you shoot?
Somewhat.
Does it matter?
Yeah.
We're on a pressurized vehicle in the middle of fucking space.
I'd say it matters.
Why'd they put all these guns here
if it's a pressure problem?
Because they're meant for people like me, doc.
Don't worry, I'll give you something.
Let's get you suited up.
Are you suited up?
I'm suited up by now.
Regardless, we have an oxygen problem.
So while you guys deal with inside,
I should just start making my way out there.
Let's get him a weapon.
Can you shoot a weapon in space?
Can you shoot rifles in space?
These are energy rounds.
They are the pump action.
It doesn't have an explosive ignitive.
They're magnets to project through.
It's pulse energy.
It gives out an efficient rounding without the kickback.
These are kinetic rounds,
so you're not going to pierce through the ship.
Oh, good.
They made them scientist-friendly.
They made them scientist-friendly.
That's what I should take. Well, here's They made them scientist-friendly. They made them scientist-friendly. That's what I should take.
Well, here's the other thing
about combat shotgun. If I'm reading this
correctly, it
beeps when non-friendlies
are within 30 feet.
Ooh!
I love it.
We got to get you on the
outside. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
I give the captain
Is there enough long-range comms for the entire team, or just for... Yes. We got to get you on the outside. Let's go, let's go, let's go. I give the captain,
is there enough long range comms for the entire team or just for?
Yes.
Okay, so I hand that to everybody.
Okay.
And I put on the boots.
And.
You need any assistance?
Well, we don't know what's going on.
I think probably in case something goes wrong,
which it won't, but in case something goes wrong,
it's better that you have one inside.
And this is what I'm here for.
All right.
Head to the cargo bay to start operating an airlock
and go out into space.
Great.
Are any of you going to assist in helping him exit the airlock? Yeah, I'm going to help. Great. Are any of you going to assist in helping him
exit the airlock?
Yeah, I'm going to help.
Okay.
Excuse me?
I'm going to help.
You're the captain of the ship.
Yeah.
You're going outside?
No, I'm helping him get outside.
I'm staying in here.
Fair enough.
Do you need anyone else out there with you?
I'd rather you guys stay safe in the ship.
Okay.
Doc, I got you this.
You, Doc.
Yeah. Oh.
This little revolver's called Foster.
Right. You know how to work a revolver?
I do. It's got a trigger and a little thing.
That's good enough for me. Here you go.
What number?
It is number 26. Eight shots per clip.
If you knock it down, whatever it is, knock it prone.
Thank you.
Wasn't there a smart rifle?
There is a smart rifle.
It holds 12 shots per clip, night and thermal vision.
Subtracts a negative one to armor saves to the target.
What number was it?
27.
I don't know how any of these work, but maybe.
I'm just worried, Forest,
that you might have your hands full
with repairing equipment,
unless the suit allows you to carry multiple...
I mean, I can Velcro it.
You can put it on there.
And bring it along.
We don't have magnetic locks?
We got Velcro in 3051?
It's the future.
Yeah.
Velcro's important.
Look at Lute, baby. Can't beat it.
This is Nostromo tech.
Yeah, there's jigs, keyboards, and Velcro. important. Look at Lute, baby. Can't beat it. This is Nostromo tech, yeah. There's jigs, keyboards, and Velcro.
Yeah!
Yes.
We're in the Nordverse.
This is for sure the Nordverse.
Yeah.
The mood didn't chatter.
We had our Nexus event, the Nordverse.
Get him outside.
We're losing oxygen fast.
Might I make a suggestion?
Yes, Mother.
I do not recommend going on a spacewalk alone.
If you end up getting detached from the ship,
who will be able to bring you back?
I'll go.
What?
Yeah, why not?
What the fuck am I going to do in here, math?
All right. What are you laughing at? Sorry, why not? What the fuck am I going to do in here, math? All right.
What are you laughing at? Sorry, just you doing math.
No, it's pretty funny.
It is, it is.
I hand Dr. Frenno the smart rifle, then.
If you're coming, I don't need this.
I'm better to have my hands free.
Were there other weapons?
Yeah, the arms locker is open.
So the remaining ones out there.
Were number?
Pulse rifle, number 25 is available.
I'll take that.
Smart rifle, the good Doc Frock has, number 27.
And the flame flower is there, also number 22.
I got the flame thrower.
Ashley, this is the best.
Lower the oxygen. Oh, good.
Oh, this is great.
I'm terrified.
This is like a miniseries, right?
Yeah. Okay.
A one-episode miniseries.
Never to happen again.
Holy shit.
Are we ready to do a spacewalk?
Yeah. Yes.
Okay.
Oh shit!
Oh, Nuvia!
Oh, Nuv! Numa!
I'm so jealous.
Captain can't risk her life. Captain can't go into space.
This episode is sponsored by...
Woo!
Ow, ow, ow.
Dude!
Dude!
Wow. Wow.
Ugh.
Is the bridge on your right?
I mean. Yeah, so we're,
the bridge is up here.
Obviously, this is a little bit different.
Okay.
Let me get the right characters.
We got Sergeant Garradine.
We got Forrest.
So, this is the airlock.
You're going to be exiting from here.
The science lab is over here.
From what you know, the damage is around this area.
I'm going to need you both.
You're both suited up.
On the inside of the airlock,
you tether yourselves together.
First out of the hatch, who's taking the lead?
Well, I have magnetic boots on,
so maybe I'll do that. Do you both have
magnetic boots, or is it just one?
You both have, both vac suits are equipped with magnets.
Oh, okay, so it's a separate item, but great.
They're just extra in case, you know.
Okay. Who knows?
Owie, owie, owie.
I mean, it's your ship.
The future of mankind depends on you two.
Yeah. No pressure.
Shut the door.
Best of the best.
First out of the hatch,
connects their cable to the outside of the hull
before anchoring your partner's tether.
The second astronaut to exit
disconnects from the inside of the hull,
trusting that your partner has connected your line.
You're attached to the Nautilus
with an 85-foot tether of braided steel,
as well as a 35-foot tether connected
between the two of you.
Oh my god. Holy.
This is where we both, we lose both crew members.
Shut up. Positive thinking.
Sorry.
Could happen, I don't fucking know.
So, although you're weightless in space,
the suit is still extremely cumbersome
and heavy at 280 pounds.
No problem.
Bit of a problem.
Once outside,
you both take a moment,
floating, and seeing this planet.
How we doing, Forrest?
Well, I've only gone three feet out.
Ever done one of these before?
Only in Sim.
It's my third, keep up.
Okay. I'm sticking with the.
I like it.
Why are you farting into the mic?
As you make your way across,
mag boots connected,
it's going to take you
30 minutes to get to where you think the point of damage is.
So I need you both to make your first roll.
Make a zero G roll, which is...
See, he just rolled up a line!
You're the leader.
Well, you're the captain, dummy.
Sometimes a captain's got to do the dirty work.
Yeah, like when shit's real bad.
Who knows? Maybe you'll make it.
Critical success.
Woof!
Yes!
Success.
Oh my goodness.
You guys, clearly you've done this before.
This is your third spacewalk.
You are calm.
You are cool.
You are collected.
You're moving slow, but you make it over there.
How's it looking, boys?
Are we all farting?
What the fuck?
Mother, do we also have you in our headsets right now?
I am with you at all times.
Gosh, you got a great voice.
Do we have visuals from the bridge?
You do.
Back inside, where would you all like to view this?
We can watch what they're doing
through their headcams.
I'd want to watch from the bridge.
Okay.
Oh yeah, this is a totally different map.
We're there. We imagine we're there.
You guys are hanging out. We're imagining. We're both at the bridge. You guys are hanging out here,
imagine we're at the bridge.
I'll stay in the galley and I'll turn to the captain
or before the captain goes through the bridge.
How do you turn the safety off of that?
I don't know if I want to turn the safety off, but.
Just in case, just show me how.
I flick the safety.
This button right here.
Okay.
See when it's red?
Yep.
That means it's active.
Got it.
All right.
Okay.
Put the strap over shoulder.
This is...
Oh, it's heavy.
It's not quite made for...
It's so heavy.
Your arms are so flimsy.
Yeah.
Don't point the nozzle at anyone,
except for the bad guy.
Nope.
Okay. Yeah.
Ooh, it's got a screen.
Don't put your finger on the trigger.
Okay.
Unless you're ready to kill something.
It's got a little, like,
do you see this little CD screen?
Really? I might just take this away from you.
I mean, no.
I'm going to hit the button and turn the safety on again, just.
Okay. Okay.
I'm going to head to the graveyard.
Captain, we are at Hull Breach, waiting on your order.
Fix it.
We're watching for us.
Go ahead.
You have your toolkit.
And once you arrive at the damage,
it does look like it was hit by a meteor.
But it is a fairly small entry wound.
You can see straight into the science lab,
but the good news is it does look fixable.
But you do notice
there is a strange, shiny black liquid.
It almost looks like melted obsidian
with small pieces of metallic stibnite,
striated and sharp.
Can I, do I know anything about
its molecular structure or biology?
Roll a biology check.
And we're all seeing this through their headcams?
You are.
Now, question about our gameplay mechanics.
Yes.
If we're not trained, it just relies on the base stat,
like intellect, empathy, speed, or strength?
Yes, so if you just have your trained stat,
you would add the plus one to your intellect.
I rolled a nine, so my intellect is quite high, but.
Dr. Nomen, have you ever seen anything
like that black ooze before?
Have I ever seen anything like that black ooze before?
You have not.
No.
It'd actually be really great.
Hey, Forest?
Hey, can you collect a sample? Hey, can you collect a sample?
Are you able to collect a sample?
Maybe.
I take one tool
and flip it around and use the handle
to try to smear a little bit away,
gingerly at first, to see if there's any adverse effect.
Careful, I think it's alive.
As you do,
it does feel sticky as you start to pull it away.
And you can't tell if it's just the zero gravity,
but it starts to move.
Floris?
In a random pattern or with?
In a random pattern.
No intention.
Visible intention.
As far as you can tell,
it's just kind of floating,
but it does seem to be moving with intention.
It starts to come towards the light on your head cam.
What the fuck is that?
I hold it as far away as I can from my helmet.
Turn your light off. Is it attracted to the light?
No, it wouldn't be on this. I mean, it would be.
You turn your light off and because it's so dark,
you can't tell if it's moving towards you or not.
Oh yeah, we're in the middle of the scene.
I turn the lights on.
I turn the lights on in the science lab to try and-
I flick the tool out into zero G and give it some momentum away the middle of the scene. I turn the lights on. I turn the lights on in the science lab to try and. I flick the tool out into zero G
and give it some momentum away, away from the ship.
As it starts to float away,
the tool that you used to pick it up,
it starts to close around it
and sort of snap it in pieces.
Oh shit.
That's not good.
And drifts away.
You can't see it anymore.
I grab the tether between Fjord and I,
and I pull myself so I'm getting closer to him,
and I'll pull up Betsy,
and I want to cock it and look down at the meter
and see what it's indicating.
Ooh, is it beeping? You mean, is it beeping?
It does start beeping.
Does it just beep or does it give me a readout?
It doesn't give you a readout.
But as you're getting closer to the science lab,
it starts to quicken.
Well, whatever's in there,
I'll bet you doesn't like it.
Hmm.
We can't stop it from getting in because it's in.
Let's just weld this shut.
And I have a couple of steel plates that I grabbed.
See what your welding flame does to the ooze forest.
Yes, captain.
Before placing down some of these
larger-than-bagel-sized steel plates,
I just start to burn the edge
where some of the ziplock goo is.
Oh no. Okay.
Captain Zor no. Okay. Damn, Zora's.
I'm going to need you.
No.
To make
a body save.
Oh. Success. a body save.
Oh.
Success. Oh boy.
Two.
Okay.
The welder, as a laser, shoots out
and touches this black ichor.
It starts to hiss and separate
from the laser.
It's upset.
It splits and it starts to grow.
Oh.
I shut off immediately
and slam one of the plates down,
sort of covering the diameter of the breach.
I'm going to need you to make another roll
to see if you succeed in sealing the damage.
How's your stress level?
Is this body or is this a-
You are going to make a mechanical repair.
Mechanical repair.
Success.
You fix the damage.
And you seal the hall.
Seal.
Sealed.
Mother?
Yes?
Are oxygen levels still depleting?
They are currently at 45%
and staying.
Ah.
That's good. Mother, can we reboot life support
to increase the oxygen in
the bridge
and galley and engine room and otherwise?
Actually, hang on, Dr. Wiser.
Whatever this parasite is, it is feeding off of the oxygen.
We don't want to fuel it even more.
Can you cut off oxygen to the science lab completely?
Would you like me to do that?
I would love that.
Done.
I'm going to, looking at my smart rifle
and the little LCD screen,
it has night and thermal vision.
So I'm going to go back to the galley
and I'm just going to hold up the rifle
towards the science lab
and first click it to night vision
and look through the little window.
Yeah, yep.
You're peeking through the window
and
you do notice a heat signature.
Is it, like, localized or centralized on one place?
It doesn't have a shape,
but as you're next to the window, a bit of this shiny black liquid
slams onto the glass.
It's double-paned,
but the glass on the inside starts to spider.
Oh.
Uh-uh.
I clicked a thermal vision real quick and back up and look at the whole room through the door.
You look at the whole room
and you start to see whatever this liquid is,
it is attached to a body
that seems to start taking shape. it is attached to a body
that seems to start taking shape.
That's the only way you know how to describe it.
Okay.
Mother, have you cut off oxygen to the science lab?
I have cut off oxygen,
but somehow
we are still depleting oxygen.
We are currently at 30%.
Oh, shit.
Mother, check life support systems,
and if anything is moving on any of the security cameras,
any movement at all, we want an immediate update.
Captain? Captain?
Yes?
Real problem. Big problem.
I go over to, yes?
I just show her my thermal cam.
And I'm sure I can, can I see the ichor on the glass?
You can absolutely see it.
But that's breaking the glass.
That's going to bust through.
I think so.
We start making our way.
Captain, Gunnery Sergeant Garrett and I are going to head back. I think so. We start making our way.
Gunnery Sergeant Garrett and I are going to head back.
See you in a half hour.
See if you can make it faster.
As we're moving.
Solid 28.
Can we check the hole from the outside
for just anything else as we're moving?
Just scanning to see if there's something
that Mother missed.
Actually, I'm going to let both of them know
that we're still losing oxygen quickly.
So I think there's other breaches.
You're scanning,
and I would like you to make a perception check,
which is your intelligence.
Intelligence. Plus.
You don't have to come at me like that, okay?
Your perception, if you have it.
Critical success.
Ooh! Whoa!
Another one.
You are scanning the top of the ship as a Marine does.
You know what to do in this situation.
Fine.
Slice and pie. Mm-hmm.
It is dark out there,
but as far as you can tell, there is
nothing else out there.
I'm going to need you guys both to roll
another zero-G check to see if you make it back
safely to the airlock.
Captain, we're not seeing anything out here,
but Dr. Frenno mentioned that stuff,
but Dr. Frenno mentioned that stuff,
perhaps eating oxygen?
Fail.
There's no oxygen in this. I swear to god.
Critical success.
Yeah.
You rolled a fail?
Yeah.
I do have magnet boots.
You start to feel
cold water at the back of your neck.
And as you know, water is constantly flowing
through your suit as a cooling system.
Your ventilation system has somehow sprung a leak.
And since you're in zero gravity,
the water starts to float around your eyes,
your ears, and your nostrils.
And a blob of water is attached to your face
and you take a point of stress.
Oh, you got a lot of stress going on, Forrest.
That makes me uncomfortable.
You can call me Fory.
As you start making your way back,
As you start making your way back,
because you can't see,
you trip on a power line
and your mag boots disconnect
and you start drifting off into space.
Sergeant? What?
Help? What?
Oh, oh shit!
I tether between you snaps.
Ooh, shit!
Snaps breaks?
No, you're still connected.
Okay, okay.
Taught, yeah. Snaps taught.
That would be an important word to add after snaps.
I look down.
I knew where you were at.
Thank you.
I look down just from the action.
I instinctually try and grab anything on the whole,
even though we're tethered and I have mag boots
and everything, is there anything I can grab onto
just in case these fucking boots fail?
Make an athletics strength check.
Okay. It's another one.
No one has done that. What?
I think that's five in a row. That's a critical success.
You are a fucking boss.
As he's floating away,
you wrap your arm around the tether
and you are able to slowly bring him back to the ship.
Damn! Well, that's not that hard.
But as you bring him closer,
you start to notice the water in his visor.
Oh, you going for a swim there, Forrest?
I see a hundred of you.
Hey, buddy, I need you to just take a big breath, all right?
It's just light refraction, thank you.
I pull him in.
I try and get his boots down, and I look in his visor.
How much water is in his helmet?
It is currently covering his nostrils.
Oh my god.
And his eyes and his ears.
I'm going to ask you a real simple question.
Is there any quick fix to this that I can help with
on the exterior, or do we need to just get you inside?
I think we just need to be quick.
All right.
Because you rolled so well,
you are able to get to the airlock.
You spin the door, spin the whatever the fuck
that thing's called.
Hatch. Yeah.
Do-do-do-do, the wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You spin it, opens.
I'm going to be on the other side
waiting for them to come in.
You first.
We're done with this map.
I love that map.
It's cool, right? It's real cool!
I saw this map and I was like, right? It's real cool!
I saw this map and I was like,
that needs to fit somewhere.
Yep.
Okay.
Ash, this is real fun.
The minute they're coming in,
I'm just going to say to the Gunnery Sergeant,
we got a problem.
Uh-huh. And yank them in.
So they still need to depressurize
and it's going to take three minutes.
Holy shit.
Dr. Wiser.
Yes?
How much control do you have
over the ventilation systems and the flow, the airflow,
and then between the oxygen, nitrogen, carbon monoxide?
I have a lot of control, but everything is apparently fine.
Hold on. What do you mean?
Is there anything in that closet on the bridge?
Yes.
In the bridge.
Oh.
You find.
That's a closet? Cool.
There is a closet.
I should have been more specific about
what the extra squares were.
Could have been a pooper. You don't know.
I don't know how I'm at it. A pooper on the bridge.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Under these circumstances?
Sure.
Of all the poopers to use. That's a stress pooper.
In the bridge, you find a crowbar.
Oh. Number three.
You find a first aid kit, number six.
You find a lockpick set, number 11.
And you find more short-range comms, number 19.
I will hand one of the short-range comms to Dr. Nelman.
And I...
Something's not working.
I'm going to head to life support
and see what is actually fucking going on.
Are they, so they're in the depressurization chamber.
They are in the chamber here.
Forest, are there any other welders on board?
Captain, I don't have much oxygen.
Oh, you got a lot of water in your helmet.
I need you to make a Composure save for us.
Oh shit.
Fail.
Oh.
You are starting to panic.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
You know that if you try to take off his helmet early
before the airlock is pressurized,
you could blow his eardrums, at the very least.
Okay.
Three minutes. Can I see that
he's starting to panic?
You can.
Captain. Yes?
Sergeant Garrett.
I used to be a swimmer in Cornell.
I'm going to stop talking now.
I'm going to hold my breath.
I'm going to...
I think I saw...
Once per day, I can talk down one of my crew.
You absolutely can.
So I'm going to take that moment and just say,
depersonalization is almost finished. You absolutely can. So I'm going to take that moment and just say, Depressurization is almost finished.
You can hold your breath for more than two minutes.
Is that normal?
Oh, for a swimmer from Cornell? Yeah.
There's nothing to fear.
You're going to make it through this.
Keep looking at me.
As she's talking you down,
you're looking at her,
trying to slow your heart rate,
and you relieve a point of stress.
As the three minutes are up,
the airlock has been pressurized, depressurized.
Whichever one.
Pressurized.
Pressurized. You're good to go.
Open the door.
Water spills out of the helmet.
It's okay.
Pat his shoulder.
It's okay. You did good.
Thank you.
I need you. Yep.
I need you.
Let's go. Hold on, wait.
Mm-hmm.
I get them both over to the science lab door,
where the glass is continuing to splinter, I'm assuming?
Yes.
We need to get something welded over this glass
because that thing is breaking through.
Dr. Wiser,
you are in the life support room.
As you're accessing the terminal, you see that
there does seem to be something feeding off of the oxygen.
Can I pinpoint the location?
Roll a computer check.
Yes, I'm fine.
It's everywhere. Oh!
Really quickly just checking to see
if that's a software problem, really quickly.
Yeah, reboot.
Success. It is not a software problem really quickly. Yeah, reboot. Success.
It is not a software problem.
I stumble in after him. I was chasing him.
Dr. Wiser, I just don't want you to make
any really dumb decisions just because, you know,
you were just there pressing buttons and then.
Just pull her face towards the data pad
and the data terminal and point.
Yeah, honestly, that tracks,
because I do believe it is like a micro-parasitic thing
that could honestly be airborne,
and if it's not, you know, isolated in the vents,
it could get through the entire ventilation system
and then spread throughout the entire thing,
which is why I was asking
if you could control the ventilation system.
Mother, are there any foreign particles
currently in the air supply coming through the filters?
There seems to be
a foreign parasite everywhere.
Yes!
Nailed it!
So, yeah, you know, I don't know,
but I guess it's a little too late.
We can't control the events, huh?
It would hardly matter now.
Okay.
What if we can figure out a way to cut off its oxygen supply?
It doesn't seem to be helping the stuff in the science lab.
I'm just saying.
That stuff seems fine.
But I think there's still oxygen in the science lab,
and I think it could be metabolizing.
Mother, is there any oxygen in the science lab?
Now that it is sealed off,
there is a little bit of oxygen.
Can we filter,
can we cut off the science lab from the rest of the life support systems?
Stop oxygen from flowing to that room.
One moment, please.
I thought we already did that.
That happened already, right?
I don't think it matters anymore. I thought we already did that. That happened already, right? I don't think it matters anymore.
I think it's too late.
You each seeing this,
you each take a point of stress.
Huh. Mm-hmm.
Hoo.
Y'all hearing this?
It's everywhere. We got outside for fucking five minutes? It's everywhere.
We got outside for fucking five minutes and it's everywhere.
Like everywhere as in all through the air
or everywhere as in,
like have we already breathed it in?
Most likely.
It's in the filtration system, so.
The parasite seems to be just in the oxygen valves.
Okay.
Oh, that's nice.
Okay. No, it isn't.
Hmm.
So we turn off the oxygen to the entire ship.
We put on oxygen tanks,
and hopefully we suffocate it.
How many oxygen tanks are on the ship?
Two.
That's preparation, you guys.
It's good to have less oxygen tanks than there are bodies.
I'm going to check.
There's nothing in life support.
There's nothing to find in life support.
How long do the oxygen tanks last?
Each of the oxygen tanks, the two,
have six hours of oxygen apiece.
The two suits that were used in the vac suits,
that took you...
An hour, right? An hour and change, probably.
30 and 30?
Yeah, there's four and a half hours left
of oxygen in the two vac suits.
And then the oxygen tanks are separate from that?
Yes, there are two extra additional oxygen tanks.
Captain, do we have any oxygen supply in the med bay?
I mean, just even on the small end, respirators, anything?
Let's look. Or life support.
Yeah, let's look in life support and med bay
for any additional oxygen tanks.
I'm going to start telling the crew to suit up
so that we can all get our own life support going.
Okay.
Who's going to the med bay?
Okay.
I'll go with you, goddammit.
I go find Fjordst.
Fjordst, you're still...
Still suited.
Well, you're still, I need you to weld that glass.
That thing is splintering through,
and I don't care what kind of parasite
is coming through the air, that thing is bigger.
So the windows are small, we established, on the doors.
So Forrest will find some paneling on any wall
that can come free that is this wide,
larger than the window, and spend 20 minutes
pressing it against that
compromised spot and bending and welding
the edges all the way around.
Make a mechanical repair.
One more time? Make a mechanical repair.
A check.
Don't hit the glass.
Success.
You're great at this.
You're great at this.
You seal it off.
You can't see the window.
You can't see inside.
As far as you know,
whatever was trying to get out is still in there.
Let's keep an eye on the security cameras
on the terminal.
In the med bay,
you guys find a couple things.
A bio scanner.
What's that number? That's good.
Which, that's number one.
Fuck yeah. Number one.
Hell yeah, number one.
A med scanner, number 14.
Pain pills, number 17.
Oh, baby.
A scalpel, number 18.
Stimpaks, number 20.
Oh, drugs.
It's drugs.
And finally, a tranquilizer pistol, number 28.
Cool. Oh no.
I just messed up my stacks.
Bio Scanner can scan for life up to 350 feet
in all directions without being blocked
by most known metals.
Immediately turn it on.
Pew!
Really wish I could do sound effects.
That was pretty good. That was pretty good, actually.
Oh, thanks.
You turn it on,
and besides all of the other entities
that are on board of your crew,
you do sense another creature on board.
Just there's one other bleepy light?
One other bleepy light.
Bleepy light.
Where is it at?
It's in the science lab.
Okay, okay.
Well, it's still contained.
No oxygen?
No oxygen in the med bay.
Oh shit, yes, there's one other tank.
Sweet!
Yes, that's great!
Winning. So everybody's got up.
You still got your suit on, you still got your suit on.
I take that oxygen tank and you two have the other two.
All right.
I'm going to get everybody suited up as fast as possible.
And Mother,
I need you to turn off the oxygen supply to the entire ship.
Mm-hmm.
Are you sure?
Will you be able to turn it back on?
Yes, I will.
That was a long wait.
How far are we from the planet's surface?
300 miles.
We got to get this thing killed before we land.
While the captain's talking,
I take a moment to try to fix and seal up
the coolant system in the helmet of my back suit.
Smart.
Of the Dusty Firstborn.
Smart.
Make another mechanical repair check.
Critical success.
Ay! Be proper.
Ace it.
Doesn't even void the warranty.
I go and I find Fjordst, if I can.
Yes, that's right.
Good grief, how does Matt do this?
It's too much, it's so much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good grief, how does Matt do this? So it's too much, it's so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, hi.
Did you, did the sample get away in space?
Sample gone?
Yeah, it started to reach for us,
so I thought better.
Right, right, right.
Which hand were you using?
You're a righty, right?
You're a right-hander?
I'm left, actually.
Oh, you're left, okay.
Can I have your left-handed glove?
Thank you. And I'm going to take. Oh, you're left? Okay. Can I have your left-hand glove? Thank you.
I'm going to take a little cotton swabber
and I'm going to get out a little Petri dish
and I'm going to swab,
get a little bit of alcohol and swab
and try and see if I can collect a trace sample
of whatever this was.
Okay.
Make a biology check,
which is your intelligence plus biology.
So what I'm good at,
I succeeded with exactly what I needed.
Great.
You're able to pull a little bit,
whatever was left on his glove.
Okay.
You're able to pull that away and put it in the petri dish. whatever was left on his glove. Okay.
You're able to pull that away and put it in the petri dish.
Okay, I put it in the petri dish.
I'm going to go over to a comm.
I'm going to put it in a little scanner
and start doing my biology thing,
see if I can get any readings on this.
As you're looking through and doing a reading on this,
As you're looking through and doing a reading on this,
it is a single-celled organism.
And from your reading,
you can also tell that
it is a parasite that gestates in a host.
It is a parasite that gestates in a host.
You've seen things like this before.
They can begin to mutate white blood cells.
That's as much as you can gather.
Okay.
I just, you see a few tears fall
from Fren-O's galaxy eyes,
and she just goes,
Virgil?
Oh. Doc, you're looking a little greener on the gilts.
So...
It's likely Virgil's dead.
You're safe. And my snake.
Well, there's no oxygen in there, so yeah.
This is probably, he might, so...
This is a single-celled organism, parasitic, and which means it needs a host of some sort.
Virgil might've been patient zero.
That's fine.
I'm glad you chose a snake for a fucking pet.
Yeah. I can glad you chose a snake for a fucking pet. Yeah.
I can't confirm or deny, but essentially what I can gather
is that this latches onto your white blood cells,
which makes sense, because they're very oxygen rich,
and it probably like starves them
and then turns them into something else.
And then maybe it turns you into that black ichor
that we saw. What?
I take out the med scanner and start scanning all of us
to see if we have breathed any of it in.
Yeah, so everyone's life support, how are our vitals?
You're checking everyone's vitals and
everyone seems to be okay.
Okay.
Everyone seems to be okay. I'm going to give the med can over to you.
That's number 14.
Look, y'all keep talking,
I meant to do a perimeter sweep
as soon as we got out of those cryotubes.
I'm just going to check the engine room
because we haven't gone over there at all.
I'll be back in just a second.
All oxygen is already off on the entire ship, right?
All oxygen is off.
All right, I'm also going to give the scalpel
to Dr. Nomen.
Nope.
Which number is that?
Oh, that's number 18.
I'll meet you in the engine room, Sergeant.
I'm going to wait before you do that.
I'm going to give you the tranquilizer pistol.
That's number 28.
Dr. Wiser.
Oh, I'm, yeah, well, I'll run up and grab that.
Did I find anything, by the way,
in the life support room or no?
Okay, cool.
Just the, oh wait.
A first aid kit, I'm sorry.
Oh, first aid kit, number six.
You make your way into the engine room, you both.
Yep.
I'll trail along as well.
Okay.
Which lavatory are you going to?
The one next to the food court.
She's definitely taking a shit.
She's infected already.
There we are.
Whoa!
Do we get a stress point back for that here?
Oh, that's the sound.
Smells like the mummy returns.
As you enter the engine room.
Oh shit.
The...
You hear something.
It sounds like breathing,
dripping.
Hey, Forest, you want to tell me
what kind of propulsion this ship runs on?
Boy, Travis, I wish I knew about propulsion
at the time of the answer to that.
Standard.
Old Betsy is flatline beeping.
Solid tone. Solid tone.
What's that tell us again?
High activity.
The highest.
Are the lights on in here?
The lights are dim in the engine room.
It's mainly a red light,
because why not?
Yep. Yeah. It's always a red light. Red Yeah. Yeah.
It's always a red light. Red alert.
Yeah.
Do you want to look around?
You bet your ass I do.
Like second nature.
You do find in the corner.
Looking around. That there find in the corner. Looking around.
That there is a nail gun.
Number 24.
He's not alone, either.
I'm going to start branching out
and making sure, wherever I go,
that I can see Dr. Wiser and Sergeant Garrett,
wherever I am.
But I'm looking for any kind of
damage or problems in the engine room. Since I have a good terminal here, a direct terminal,
I'm going to do a deep scan of this room
to see if anything. Hold on, dog.
One sec.
Does Betsy have a flashlight on her?
Yeah.
I'll turn on the flashlight,
and I want to, before you move, corner, high corners, near corner.
I just want to sweep the room.
Any visual contact that might be setting off old Betsy.
Dr. Wiser.
Oh shit.
You start feeling
a dripping
on the back of your neck.
I'm going to look up.
As you turn around
and old Betsy sets its sights
next to Dr. Weiser.
You see a monstrous creature.
Massive, liquid black ichor dripping
from its gray, translucent skin.
An elongated, bulbous head, black ichor dripping from its gray, translucent skin.
An elongated, bulbous head, and its jaw opens and lets out a furious scream,
revealing long, sharp teeth.
You see its tail, fleshy, spiky.
It's horrifying.
We're going to take a break.
Oh!
Goddamn it, Vincent!
Shit!
It's moving through the oxygen tunnels!
That's exactly what it's doing.
It's in the walls.
Oh god, in the goddamn walls!
It's in the walls!
Morpheus! Whoa! more fans I forgot about the charge up
we'll be back
do I still have to keep going?
we'll be back in a minute
thank you for listening to the Nautilus Arc
a Johnson Corp Odyssey
on the Critical Role Podcast Network if you'd like to the Nautilus Arc, a Johnson Corp. Odyssey on the Critical Role Podcast Network.
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And we're back.
Currently, some of our group
decided to go into the engine room
and found a creature waiting for them.
Shall we?
Yeah! Yeah!
Shall we?
Did we hear, did anybody scream?
Did anybody make noise when I had to?
Not yet. And you know what?
Which I forgot to do,
use these amazing spacesuit minis for the spacewalk.
So since some of you are already in these suits.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to just switch you all out.
So we got Sergeant,
Gunnery Sergeant and Forrest are both in the suits.
Gunnery Sergeant and Forrest are both in the suits.
Gunnery Sergeant?
So. Thank you.
Dr. Wiser is just with the oxygen tank.
I'm not a sir, I work for a living, goddamn it.
All the while.
Okay, so I'm going to say,
Gunnery Sergeant, you were over here, maybe?
Yep. You found the nail gun, you were over here, maybe? Yep. Looking, you found the nail gun.
You were investigating some things, Forest,
and you were about to go to the terminal.
Let's put you over here.
Okay, so.
The creature, Dr. Wiser,
you turn around
and you see this massive
Meenomorph.
Meenomorph?
Meenomorph, because he's mean.
He's mean. He's real mean.
He's so mean.
He's so mean.
Such a meanie.
He's the Meenomorph. Quick. Such a meanie. He's that mean-o-morph.
Quick, speak in Parseltongue.
I am going to very slowly back up
and hold, just not breathe, and back up.
I heard it scream, right, from the medbay,
that the aliens, that mean-o-morph screamed?
Something screamed? Everyone that is not in the medbay, that the aliens, that Mino Morph screamed, something screamed?
Everyone that is not in the engine room,
you heard a piercing scream of something.
You've never heard anything like this before.
And you know that it's coming from the engine room.
I just peek my head around the corner to the captain.
Or no, you're in with me.
No, I'm in the med bay, but like,
to peek down the hallway.
Yeah, we both do the...
Down the hallway.
I don't know if this will work, but I'll say it.
Okay.
Mother, red alert in the engine room!
What do we do?
Forrest doesn't have a weapon,
but the welder just goes.
You don't have a weapon?rest doesn't have a weapon, but the welder just goes. You don't have a weapon?
You don't have a weapon?
I should give you my gun.
No, you're all the way in the galley.
I know, but I, I know, but.
Reverts. I have my weapon.
Toss me the weapon, toss me the rifle.
I am very carefully removing my oxygen tank.
Oh shit.
And the second it moves, I'm going to,
if it makes a move, I'm going to push my oxygen tank
towards the life support door.
If it...
I didn't even think about that.
Is the life support door closed?
It is, right? The hatch is closed.
Should be.
The rifle's too big for me to toss,
so I put it on the ground and I kick it.
Yeah, okay.
I'm going to do this.
We're going to run.
I'm going to need you all to roll initiative.
Yeah! You are!
Okay.
I remember how to do this.
Hold on.
Plus our speed, correct?
Speed plus what we roll. Speed plus what we roll.
Speed plus what we roll.
Ooh.
This fucking dice, man.
Well, then I have this rolling.
If it was D&D, it would suck.
All right.
Well, we tried to roll high on initiative.
That's the only thing we want to roll.
12 for you, okay.
13 for me.
Woo!
Captain.
Captain, my captain.
Surge.
Captain Glass.
Sarge. Sarge.
Eight for me.
Nine for me.
Oh, nine for Dr. Wiser?
What were you, Forrest?
Nine for Forrest.
Oh. Oh.
So Dr. Wiser is nine.
Frog and Forrest got eight.
Which one of you is my speed?
My speed is three. My speed is two. Oh, wow. Frog and Forest got eight. Which one of you is Smitey? My speed is three.
My speed is two.
Oh, wow. Frog.
So Frog goes first.
And Forest, those jumping legs.
Yeah.
Yeah, look at those gams. Feeling froggy.
All right. Jump in. Green gams.
Captain Glass.
You're up, my baby.
Did Nomen already kick me the rifle?
Yeah, I did right before.
Yeah, okay. And which one was that? Wait, what kick me the rifle? Yeah, I did right before. Yeah, okay. And which one was that?
Wait, what number was the rifle?
It's the smart rifle, which is number 27.
Okay.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think, wait.
Oh, that's not as good as what I have.
It tracks a minus one to armor saves of the target.
Oh, okay.
That's good to know for me.
I would know this.
The weapon that I have,
the other weapon that I have.
Where is it?
Forget it. Let's just do this.
Flamethrower?
No, I had a- Did you take that?
Oh, there it is, the pulse rifle.
The pulse rifle.
It says hold six frag grenades, three shots per clip.
Does that mean it only shoots grenades?
Yes. Okay, that's why
I didn't want that one.
Yes. Yes.
But the damage is intense.
Yeah, super cool,
but I don't want to shoot it into the engine room.
Great. So I'm going to run forward
if I can get up to the,
let's see, I'm in the med bay, I come out.
One, five, 10, 15, 20,
25, 30, 35, 40.
So I can get pretty dang close to the engine room.
Pretty dang close. What did you say it was?
40. 40.
Oh.
Okay, you're right at the door.
Yes, but I can see through the door.
Can I see the creature?
You can absolutely see the creature.
I'm going to fucking shoot at it.
Where is it in the room?
It is currently standing behind,
well, he turned around, so he saw it.
You turned around when you were aiming your gun
and you saw him.
Right behind him.
Okay. Okay.
So I'm going to shoot at it.
Okay, let's go.
So negative one to armor saves of the target.
That means, does that mean you get a better armor save?
No, worse for her.
My armor save will go down.
Okay.
So that's actually pretty clutch.
Okay.
So I'm going to, this is ranged combat plus speed.
Yes.
Woo, I succeed.
Amazing.
Okay. Do you succeed?
I have a critical success.
Wow. Oh no.
This place is going to walk.
So you shoot your pulse rifle.
You shoot. Smart rifle.
Definitely a rifle.
That means I have 11 rounds left.
Your smart rifle. Yes.
So as you shoot,
it goes past and hits one of the oxygen tanks in the engine room.
There's oxygen tanks in the engine room?
Oh, sorry, not oxygen tanks, a fuel tank.
Oh no, that's worse!
Yes, yes.
That's why it's worse.
Oh, phew. We only have 300 more miles to go.
The creature
screams right in your face,
and I need you to take a point of stress.
At what point does this become a problem out of curiosity?
Stress points? Yeah, I know.
You'll find out.
Okay. Yeah.
When you have to roll for panic.
Stop shooting the fuel tanks!
It's currently broken. That one's empty anyway. Did I breach the fuel tank?
Can I tell from my? That one's empty anyway.
You breached the fuel tank.
Ah!
That one's just cotton candy.
Does that count as two significant actions
running down the hallway, or was that movement in?
That is.
That probably would've been too significant.
Yes, that's too significant,
but you still have your insignificant action.
If you'd like to take cover, if you want to.
I'm going to, I'm going to.
I'm a captain, I'm not going to duck for cover right now.
Hell yeah.
I'm going to say, over here, you piece of shit!
As he hears that, his head looks over at you. God, I wish I were Matt in this moment
where I could be like,
You just did that?
Looks over at you.
Teeth, mouth, all of it dripping.
We work with what we got, you know?
We work with what we got.
Yeah.
Sarge, you're up. Oh with what we got. Yeah. Sarge.
You're up.
Oh shit.
Stop shooting the fuel tanks!
I take old Betsy,
and I'll come right up under the creature,
and I'll put my hip into Dr. Wiser,
just to shove him out of the way,
and just point blank, bam!
Let me use...
Let me use this as a creature.
So you pop him out of the way and you're here.
If I'm, I don't know how high the ceilings are,
would this be close combat or ranged combat?
This would be close combat
because you are right up on this bad boy.
Kick ass, so three plus six, I roll under a nine.
Mother fucker.
Did you get another? Yes!
No way!
I do, that's crazy.
You should just always be gunnery, sir.
Yeah.
You.
This is dark.
This is your destiny.
You pump your shotgun.
Old Betsy is not going to fail you now.
Where do you aim it?
Straight center mass, just aim small, miss small.
You
pull the trigger,
and it rips into its chest.
How much damage do you do?
2d10.
Ooh, shit!
So four plus two. I don't add anything to it, right? No. Great, six. So four plus two.
I don't add anything to it, right?
No. Great, six.
Six points of damage.
Okay.
It is screaming.
It is right up close to you.
You see its teeth.
You take a point of stress because you're so close.
Oh shit!
Dr. Wiser, you're up.
It's not looking at me, is it?
It's not looking at you currently.
It's currently got its eyes trained on Sarge.
Have I been paying attention
to what seems to be pulling its attention?
Is this a place where a psychology degree
could actually, like...
You joke.
Did you feed into psychology?
Of course you did.
There is an alien psychology subtext.
There is, you're right.
So tell me about your birth from the queen.
Stop at the beginning.
I have backstory for this shit. Don't the beginning. I have backstory for this shit.
Don't think I don't have backstory for this shit.
Feels like a part of an Oedipus complex.
Oh my god.
Too close.
Give it a try.
Okay.
Let's see, where is that psychology?
There it is.
Two points. What are you going to try to do?
Seven.
Kick it to death?
I'm trying to figure out what's drawing its attention.
Like how it's- What is its motivation?
Describe it in some downers.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Success. You got it?
Okay.
Is it movement? Is it light?
Is it like, what is it that seems to be catching its face?
What seems to be catching its face? What seems to be catching its attention
is the oxygen tanks you all are carrying.
This is food.
Yeah.
You all are a life support
for this creature standing in front of you.
I am sealing my tank.
I'm going to turn my tank completely off.
And then I'm going to start making my way towards the mainframe room.
You're going to try to go?
I'm going to back, I'm turning the oxygen off
and I'm going to start backing up
towards the mainframe room as far as I can get.
Yeah.
And he's turning his shell off.
Oh, wait, did he push me?
He pushed you out of the way, so you're over here. Okay. So do you want to Oh, wait, did he push me?
He pushed you out of the way, so you're over here. Okay. So do you want to try
to go this way or this way?
Oh no, not towards life support, towards mainframe.
Oh, towards mainframe. You know the oxygen
is off to the whole ship, right?
So you're holding your breath now?
Or do you need to breathe?
I am holding, I'm basically holding my breath.
He is, he's synthetic.
Do you bleed milk, motherfucker? I mean, look at me, of course I'm bleeding milk.'m basically holding my breath. He is, he's synthetic. Do you bleed milk, motherfucker?
I mean, look at me, of course I bleed milk.
Look at this guy.
As you step away,
that's going to take an attack of opportunity.
It is going to take an attack.
Shit, thought I could get away.
What is your armor?
My armor is very low.
I have to roll against it, or?
You do.
Can I use body instead of armor?
Yeah.
Okay.
To roll, okay, so it's, come on.
Negative two.
So I'm two over.
So you failed. I failed by two.
Okay.
As you are trying to step away,
you turned off your oxygen tank.
It takes a claw attack on you.
Lashes out across your throat.
And you take four points of damage.
Ow.
Is there anything else you'd like to do?
As far away from this thing as I can get.
Okay, what's your speed?
Three.
And your movement is? So 30?
Because I think it's a... Yep.
Okay, so.
Those of us watching him, did the doctor just bleed red?
Actually, your movement is 15, right?
Unless you're using both of your actions to go third.
With turning off the oxygen tank,
well, the psychology in the oxygen tank
is definitely one full action, I guess so.
As you're watching him get slashed across the throat,
you see drips of red blood.
Oh no! It's a real blood! You did it to us! You did it to us! you see drips of red blood.
Oh no!
It's a real blood!
You did it to us! You did it to us!
Oh my god!
I thought that was going to be synthetic for sure!
Me too.
I have to care about him now.
Okay.
Dr. Nomen, you're up.
Okay, GM, how long has it been
since we cut oxygen to the ship?
GM, what do you mean?
Oh, damn.
Oh, GM.
Oh, damn.
It's been about, I would say, 20 minutes.
Is there, okay, because I don't have a tank.
Yes, you do.
Everybody has a tank.
We all have a tank?
We all have a tank.
Oh my god, 20 minutes, you wouldn't be able to breathe. I don't have a tank. Yes, you do. Everybody has a tank. Oh, we all have a tank? We all have a tank. Oh my god, with 20 minutes,
you wouldn't be able to breathe.
I don't know.
I'm a frog, I can hold my breath under water
for a very long time.
Okay, I am.
Just for a point of note,
you guys who weren't in the vac suits
have six-hour oxygen tanks.
Yes. Okay.
You guys have four and a half hours.
We also had one hazard suit,
but it had a single hour of oxygen in it.
So it's not like we've got it.
Okay.
When the captain shot the fuel tank,
did anything happen?
It is currently just leaking fuel.
So because the oxygen is off, it's probably a good thing.
Okay.
Okay.
It's currently leaking fuel.
What can I do here?
I'm not bad at combat.
I'm going to go over to the terminal.
Can I figure out,
can I try and tap into the terminal
and see if I can cut off the fuel flow to that tank?
That makes no sense, does it?
No, that does. It does.
So probably the nearest terminal
would either be in the med bay.
I'll head to the med bay. Okay.
So you get in the medbay.
I need you to make a computer check.
Yes.
Not my strong suit, but I'm smart.
Oh, jeez, there are...
Critical failure.
I rolled a 10.
Cool. Okay.
You, when you access the computer terminal.
You erase Mother.
You are...
Updates.
Updates? Sorry.
Yeah, you are trying to figure out
if you can shut off the fuel line.
Is that what you're trying to do?
Yes. To that particular tank?
To that tank.
You do what you know what you're supposed to do.
And as far as you know, 69.
You turned off the fuel.
Oh shit.
Oh no, you put more fuel in there.
Okay, so.
God.
It's my turn.
Okay. Oh no.
You're after frog. So.
Beastie. Beastie's after frog.
Mean-o-morph.
Oh, wait.
Oh, okay, yes.
Yep.
Okay.
And then force.
And then force.
Looking down, this creature is staring
at the person who just shot him with old Betsy.
He slings, he, they.
Yeah.
It slings a piece of black liquid
from its claws
and slings it at your face.
So let's do an opposed check.
Okay.
See what this does.
Another one.
Ooh.
Am I rolling a body check?
You are rolling an armor check.
Armor check.
No, no, no, body check, I'm sorry.
Body.
If you're in the suit,
does that protect you for a little bit?
It wouldn't go directly on the face, right?
It would be on the helmet of the suit?
It would be on the helmet.
So can I choose armor instead of body?
Sure. Okay.
I rolled exactly the,
I rolled a four and then my armor's a four.
I rolled a six, my armor's a six.
Oh shit.
So it's a tie.
Is that a reroll?
So that's a reroll. Okay.
Oh!
Critical failure.
Ooh!
Oh, numbers. The pendulum has swung.
Yes!
Got to pay that tally.
This liquid,
the sticky
icore attaches to your visor
and it starts spider webbing and splitting through.
Shit.
It makes its way through the visor.
Oh shit!
And starts going up your nose.
Oh no! Oh!
You are, you take a point of stress. Oh! Uh-oh! Yeah!
And you are currently panicking.
So I need you to make a panic roll.
You need to roll higher than your stress.
This is the only time in the game
where you need to roll higher than your stress.
Okay, my stress is currently four.
Okay.
I don't add anything to it, right?
No.
I rolled a six.
Woo! Oh shit.
You, you s...
Hold on just a minute.
Great.
You fucking keep it together.
Somehow. Because you keep it together. Somehow.
Somehow.
Because you are a marine.
Okay.
Next up, Forest.
I'm going to run over to Gunnery Sergeant
and grab the helmet where it locks in a place
and unlock it and rip the helmet where it locks in its place
and unlock it and rip the helmet away.
Okay.
Because it's been busted open.
So.
Yeah, but.
It's kind of worth it.
Yeah, but you're right, oh my god.
Run away from it! That's my first significant action.
My second significant action,
I'm going to shove the hazmat helmet down onto,
in place and try to, I don't know if it'll fit or not,
but I will fucking tape it shut if I have to.
Okay.
Please be universal coupling.
Let's do,
let's do an athletics check.
Come on, ears!
Oh boy.
Nice knowing you.
Big fail.
Not critical fail, but big fail.
Oh.
Forest succeeds at getting your helmet off,
but does not succeed at reattaching the other helmet.
You are currently
no oxygen, nothing.
Uh-huh.
Cool, cool. You're doing bad.
Yep, it's real bad.
You make another panic roll.
Okay.
Take a point of stress,
and you're going to make another panic roll.
You were doing so good, Sergeant.
Yeah.
Goodbye with a little help from my friends. Your helmet was fucked already. You're right.
A nine, a nine, and my stress is five.
You're good. You're somehow holding it together.
You know how to hold your breath.
Super five!
Does he have a trail of black stuff
coming out of his nose,
or has it gone fully into his face?
You see nothing.
Yeah, we didn't see that at all.
No!
Okay, and he hasn't said anything.
You did not see that at all.
Okay, top of the rant, Captain Glass.
Ah!
I'm going to shout,
Forest, get out of here!
And I'm going to open up fire on the creature again.
Okay. Are you going to move in or stay?
I'm going to step in.
Okay. Around here, Zs?
I'm going to move to the other side of the room
so that I'm not aiming at any fuel tanks.
I'm going to try to get a clean line of fire
on the creature.
How's that feel?
Sure. Great.
You load up. Let's go.
Ooh, critical failure.
Boy, this turned quickly.
Okay.
Ha ha!
I don't know.
You aim your
It's a smart rifle.
smart rifle at this creature
and misses him completely.
I mean, it's dark in here.
It's the only light that you have is red, the red light.
Sails past, hits another fuel tank.
No, I was trying to avoid the fuel tank!
I did roll a critical failure.
You did roll a, that's the only rate, okay.
But.
Damaging the ship a lot for a captain.
And he turns around and looks at you.
Sarge, it's your turn.
Question for you. Wait.
Do I get to shoot again?
Because was that one significant action,
or do I get to shoot again? Shoot again that one significant action or do I get to shoot again?
Shoot again. You think?
Yeah, shoot again.
I'm going to back up.
Swing away.
I'm going to back up and try to get better trajectory
to not aim at the field eggs again.
Great.
Does that mean I need to be shimmy?
I just realized I think these little squares are cover.
So maybe you can get around there and cover.
Okay, yeah, I'll shoot and yeah, we'll see.
Okay. All right, I'm going to try again.
The grenade launcher in the engine room.
I'm not going to use the grenade launcher.
I'm using the smart rifle.
Just ignite that planthor.
No! No.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Okay. You take cover. What happened? You are you doing? Okay.
You take cover.
What happened?
You are ducked behind cover.
You aim your smart rifle.
Yeah.
Goes off.
It is perfect aim, and it hits Zarch.
Oh my god.
Roll your damage.
I get a tendril up the nose,
I get my fucking helmet ripped off,
smashed in the face, and shot in the ass.
Hooray!
11 points of damage.
Oh, wait, no, no, no, that's a lie, that's a lie.
It only does one, so I'm going to reroll,
because it only does one, I rolled two.
Got it, okay.
Do I need to contest against my armor or body or anything?
Probably not, I just take it, right?
Just take it. Yeah.
I don't know if she rolled max damage.
Did you roll max damage?
So is that 11 total?
No, that's just 10 total.
It's just 10.
Just 10 on one dice instead.
Wow. Only 10.
Shot my ass cheek off.
Oh my god, I rolled so many 10s.
What is the matter with you?
Ooh, yeah.
Okay.
Hey, GM. Yes?
Question from the previous round
where the tendril went up my nose.
Did I take any damage from that or just stress?
You just took stress. Okay.
Yeah, no damage.
Dr. Wiser.
It's just some He-Man stuff.
Real sorry about that, Sarge.
Oh, it's actually me, because she just died. Oh, Sarge, that'sMan stuff. Real sorry about that, Sarge. Oh, it's actually me, because she's just a guy.
Oh, Sarge, that's right.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sarge.
Well.
I think for a moment real hard
about just relieving the captain of her duties.
And I'll recock and just point blank, kaboom!
Because what the fuck else am I going to do?
Why not? Take another shot.
All right.
Off in the face, just end it all.
Jeez.
Three, okay.
That's a two, so a success.
Okay.
And it rolls 2d10.
I don't know if it's a contested thing. No, I failed.
Okay, great.
10, 10 points of damage.
Cool.
Okay.
It's got two more shots.
It's dark in here and it's just like
exploding in bursts of light and fire hits?
Yes. Yes.
Two more shots in this clip before I have to reload.
It's writhing, it's screaming.
It's freaking out.
Yeah, I would move, but it would
just fuck me up some more.
And with my other significant action,
bandaging a wound, fire, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Yeah, I'm just going to sit here and contemplate my choices.
Dr. Wiser.
I'm going to back up to the door,
to the mainframe door.
Okay.
I'm going to try and take a shot at this thing
and then I'm going to go through the door.
Great.
Classic wizard move.
Yeah!
I know I'm not, and I'm not that great a shot.
So, you know.
Are you using the pistol or the tranquilizer pistol?
I'm using the pistol.
I'm not using, tranks are for people.
I don't know what this thing's made out of.
So yeah, let's see if I can do this.
No.
No? No, not terribly no,
but I miss.
Okay.
And then I'm going to go into the mainframe room.
What did you shoot?
A revolver.
Okay.
Your revolver ends up hitting the other fuel tank.
SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA,
same fuel tank that Captain Glass shot.
So it's just continuing to just drip.
In theory, it would require oxygen
to ignite in this room?
Correct.
Okay, I'm going to go into the mainframe room now.
Okay.
You go into the mainframe room.
You're safe in cover for now.
Can you produce a spark in a room with no oxygen?
Mm. I think so.
Mm.
It depends on the fuel, I want to say.
There are totally some aeronautics engineers
who watch the show. I know.
This isn't...
If you're on this show. This is fake.
Yeah. I'm sure.
Let us know.
Yay. Nitrogen,'m sure hydrogen, nitrogen,
all would probably, right?
It's vacuumed.
But yeah.
Question required.
Ah, I don't know. I don't know.
We just play scientists. We aren't them.
Dr. Nomen.
Oh god. You are up.
Okay.
I cut off the fuel, I'm great.
I'm going to go ahead towards Dr. Wiser in the mainframe.
I should be able to get there.
Yeah, you can get in there.
God!
I am bleeding.
Did I hit?
Do you have no weapon strength?
You're like Ripley and Hudson combined.
You're looking pretty bad.
I'm...
I'm looking bad, but not like,
I'm bleeding from the neck,
but I'm not choking on my own.
Oh.
I immediately take out the first aid kit that I have
and bust it open, start pulling out bandages.
With my secondary, do I still have enough action
to maybe do a first aid kit?
Yes.
So make a medical aid skill,
which is in your empathy.
This too.
Yeah. Success. Okay. Yeah.
Success.
Exactly.
Amazing.
So you heal.
Yep.
You recover five points of HP
plus any amount the healer succeeded by times five.
Oh shit.
You hit exactly the number, right?
But you hit exactly the number.
So zero, actually. I'm good.
Oh, so five?
Do I hit just five? I healed perfectly.
Great.
I see, I see, I see.
That's cool.
What's your total health?
That's cool. 20.
You're a weakling.
Yes, I am.
But I healed you back to?
I'm at 20.
Yeah, I'm at 20, okay.
All right. Okay.
Yes, I'm a weakling. Yeah, same. at 20, okay. All right. Okay. Yes, I'm a weakling.
Yeah, same, I mean, same.
Who's this again?
That's me.
No, that's Forest.
Yeah, Forest and Sarge are there together.
Okay, so.
What to do?
Okay.
The creature is going to take a step towards you, Forest. Okay.
And it is going to take a bite attack.
And it's armor or?
It's armor or body.
Well, either way, I failed by one.
I had a success.
Yeah.
So.
Hit him.
Okay.
The creature inches forward, opens its toothy maw
and just takes a huge bite out of your throat.
You take six points of damage.
Six points. Oh jeez.
Shit.
How you doing?
How you doing?
Not great.
What's your total health?
Six points, just at 24 now.
24, okay. I'm going to have to
rip out my neck.
130.
Who's in the room right now?
I guess.
Gunnery, Forest.
Captain.
Captain?
Sarge? Sarge?
Sarge, Forest, and you.
As you're looking at Forest,
and this creature takes a chunk out of his throat.
What'd you get?
It starts dripping his throat
and pouring a milky white.
Yeah! You fucking! Whoa! his throat and pouring a milky white. Yes!
You fucking!
Pass that dick when you said no!
My highest skill is in manipulation.
Ah!
Yes!
I never failed! Cyborg!
You cyborg or rope? What are you? You said! Yes! I have a baby! Cyborg! Are you a cyborg or a rope?
What are you?
You said, you!
I'm just trying to help.
You somehow,
even though he's taken a chunk out of your throat,
and you all notice this,
at least that are in the room,
there's a sense of calm about him.
He doesn't have the fear that you all have.
What?
Oh. Captain Glass, you're up.
Were you planning to tell us any time?
I'm going to, oh god, I am shooting so poorly.
No, no, you're doing great.
You're going to do it.
You're going to do it, I know it.
A thousand, the opposite of that.
This creature got in through the ventilation,
through the grates?
Yeah, it just totally fell. Is it how it got into the room?
It seemed to have been going through the
oxygen vents.
If you would like to see them, I have them.
The oxygen vents?
Yes, please.
Yes, roll it out.
Overlay!
Overlay! Overlay!
Overlay!
Oh shoot, sorry.
Oh, cool.
Oh, that is awesome.
Okay. Shut up.
We'll remember where we are.
Oh no, I'm too short.
I remember.
Yeah! Good job.
Dude.
What the fuck? Ash, get the fuck out of here.
Dude, this is all Kyle.
Kyle, you're amazing!
That's already on my map.
Is it really?
I get this.
Mm-hmm.
It's situated.
Oh shit.
Oh.
You knew. I did. Okay, youated. Oh shit. Oh. You knew.
I did.
Okay, you two are in the mainframe.
You black, dead piece of shit.
We're pierced here.
Okay, so.
Blue lines.
You know what, I was like,
I'm having an argument. Blue lines of oxygen.
Oxygen, these are power lines.
Okay.
For my insignificant action, I'm going to say,
Mother, is it possible to cut off
the oxygen vents in this room?
Seal off the oxygen vents to this room?
All of the oxygen has already been turned off.
Can we seal off the vents, though?
Do they have stops, like safes?
I will seal them off,
especially in the engine room.
Great.
I'm gonna try to pull rank here,
and I'm gonna command the team to clear out of the room so we can seal the doors
and lock this thing in.
Oh, but it's got access to the art.
Fuh, I can't do that.
Fuh.
Want soup?
Fuh.
Forest.
Wuh, wuh, wuh.
Gotta be quick.
You, seeing the situation that we're in,
you have downloaded and have a new programming.
No.
That has popped into your head.
Is it good? Is it bad?
You know that there are emergency landing protocols
for the Ark.
You, specifically for this mission,
you were created to make sure that the Ark lands
on this planet at whatever the cost.
Just so you know.
Anyway. So emergency landing protocols.
Okay?
Okay, all right, all right.
I'm going to say, I'm still going to pull rank,
and I'm going to say, Sergeant,
get it out of this room.
Lead it down the hallway.
I want to get it away from the Ark.
Aye, aye, Captain.
And hopefully he'll start getting down the hallway and I'm going to come around the other side.
Aye, aye. Aye, side. I, I.
I, I.
Yes, Captain.
I'm going to go towards the hallway and try to shoot it from the hallway,
like exiting the room.
This way?
Yeah, I want to lead it out of this room.
Okay.
You're going to take a shot?
Yeah.
Oh, critical success!
Criss-cross-ciss-cross. Hey!
Criss-cross.
Criss-cross-ciss-cross success.
I had a critical fail.
Sweet!
Okay. Did you do double damage?
Yo, yes.
Let's do double damage.
Why not? Let's do it.
These are my rules.
It's just 10.
I rolled real low.
That's as much damage as it did to the captain.
It is screaming and writhing.
This thing is pissed.
Sarge, you're up.
The brains do say hi. I got that right.
You're like, I had to just Google it real quick.
Well, I got to follow orders.
Motherfucker's.
He's bleeding Quaker oats out his neck!
And I'll break and,
I'm going to break and I'm going to, with one arm,
as I'm turning towards the door, be like,
Fuck you!
Shoot one more time as I start running out the door.
Come get me, you sack of shit!
All right, make a roll.
Another shot.
Four, succeed.
Another critical fail.
Okay.
Do your damage. 2d10.
Eight, 10.
18 points of damage on that shot.
Woo!
Kra-kow.
Boy.
And I'll use my 15 feet of movement
to head out the door and up the hallway towards the galley.
Okay.
It's going to take an attack of opportunity.
Yes, ma'am.
I go with you to get you out of the damage.
Huh? Being captain is fun. I go with you to get you out of the damage.
Huh? Being captain is fun.
What is your armor? Four.
Failed.
Okay, so you get out of the engine room
and it's starting to move its way this way.
Coming after? It's coming after.
Okay. Oh, cool.
Got it to tension. What was step two?
End of the movie, Avengers.
Okay, okay.
Dr. Wiser.
I'm turning my oxygen back on now that I'm out of there.
Great.
And I'm heading straight for the med bay.
Great.
I've heard everything that came over the comms, right?
You have.
Dr. Reiser, where are you going?
We're gonna have a lot of people in the med bay.
I'm taken to the cryo chambers.
I don't know where else to lock this thing up.
And I'm just full speed to the med bay
while I'm breathing.
And I'm gonna try and get to that pad.
All right, you make it to the med bay.
You make it to the terminal pad.
I am going to wait until we can,
I'm going to lock whatever they lead this thing into.
I'm just ready to hit the door lock.
Great.
Dr. Nomen.
Okay. You're up.
As Dr. Wiser runs through,
I just pick up, I do that.
Oh my god. Exactly.
And gather my shit.
Is that a long stress point?
And then,
you take a stress point!
And then, uh.
According to the rules, we need to start fucking right now.
Turban leaves.
Dr. Wiser?
Dr. Wiser, wait.
I gathered my first aid kit.
Oh my god.
Mother?
Yes?
Has this parasite made its way onto the Ark?
I have sealed off the Ark.
Detach us from the Ark.
I do not have the authority to do that.
Why not?
You control computers, why not?
If it doesn't, it could make its way through the Ark
and it could contaminate all of our precious cargo.
That is an authorization I do not have.
I mean, no, I would need,
that's clearance.
That's clearance.
Okay, well, you know, the cryo chamber thing,
not a bad idea.
And I start making my way to the cryo chamber.
Okay.
Knowing that...
Soaking wet over here.
Knowing that we had oxygen tubes
all connected down into us,
I'm going to go over to the cryo chamber
and start turning on all the valves.
Good idea. With the tubes open?
With the tubes open.
Yeah, I'm going to let you go in there.
You start luring it that way,
since I know that we're trying to court it.
Great, great idea.
Okay.
All right.
It is the creature's turn.
Are you good?
Yeah, that's my turn.
Okay, it's the creature's turn. Are you good? Yeah, that's my turn. Okay. It's the creature's turn.
As you're moving out of the room,
and because you're still the closest,
it is going to make a tail spike attack.
Tail spike.
So roll your...
Armor. Roll your armor.
Does that mean you don't need oxygen?
GM, I have a question.
I was right by the soldier boy.
I don't remember moving, so wouldn't we be right there?
Oh, you were right here, that's right.
Maybe I accidentally moved.
I think I might be the last one.
You actually are the one who takes.
I think so.
Okay, roll.
Body or armor, you say?
Yes.
Do armor.
Critical success.
Good job, Milk Duds.
You are so calm in this situation.
Those are dark chocolate. Doesn't work.
Yeah.
The tail swipes at you, spiky tail,
and you just lean out of the way.
I know her food.
It is your turn.
Sure.
Well, I had all kinds of plans
up until a new directive came through.
Instead, I'm going to go right towards the terminal
that is next to me.
And his hand will split apart by one inch and he will shove it into the machine.
And I will ask Mother and the ship
to start emergency landing protocol for the Nautilus.
How do you ask?
Silently in binary.
Oh, fuck.
O-1-0-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-0. You all feel the ship jerk.
Oh shit.
You don't know what's going on.
But you feel that a separation,
that the arc is slowly starting to move away
from the engine room.
Is that because I hit the fuel tanks?
Is it because I hit the fuel tank? Is it because I hit the fuel tank?
I don't know!
Do I see anything at my terminal?
You are looking at your terminal and it says,
emergency landing protocols for the Ark have been activated.
I didn't do it! I didn't do it!
We are landing. What is happening?
Captain Glass, it is your turn.
I start running down the hallway
and I shout that to Dr. Wiser.
What did you do?
It's going crazy.
If the thing is just doing, I don't.
You, your ship It's going crazy. The thing is just doing... Your ship is not moving.
You guys-
Still now?
You are still and stationary.
That means the Ark is safe, right?
We don't know if there was any contamination or not,
but we're not out of Schitt's Creek.
Fuck.
How do we lead it down the hallway?
It's still behind us.
Yeah, hopefully it's chasing after us.
Can I turn around? Is it, can I see it?
You can see it still because it is,
it's right here and you see that
Forest is at the terminal and you see this creature
just trying to figure out what to do.
Yeah.
I'm going to tell Sergeant to duck
and I'm going to shoot at it.
Oh, thank you for telling me to duck.
Take a shot.
There's still a chance.
Oh, I succeeded.
I failed.
Sweet.
You take a shot, roll your damage.
Oh, dude.
Whew.
I got to get it out of this fuel.
I need to get some grenades thrown at this thing.
It hits into his face.
He writhes.
It screams, but it starts.
This way!
Coming towards you.
Ah!
I'm going to keep running.
I'm going to keep running towards the cryo chambers.
How are we going to get into the cryo chambers?
Cool.
Do a loop around.
Mm.
Sarge.
Yep. You're up.
If the Ark detached,
we should really try and get the fuck off this ship
and leave it here.
Good call.
Yeah.
How many people fit in the mother?
Oh, just kidding, it's not my turn.
We do have an escape pod on this bitch.
Yeah.
We do.
Yeah, so.
How many people fit in the escape pod?
I don't fucking know.
It's in melee with me, right?
So if I run, I'm going to get cracked.
I think we can all fit.
We may. We may, we may.
I have one shot left on this gun before I have to reload.
Fuck it.
We're in space.
What? You've got a free reload.
I do have a free reload?
What's your firearm? Yeah, you have
significant actions.
Yeah, the soldier boys, they can, as a,
if it's quickie, as a bonus action, can reload.
Yeah, ranged combat. Cool.
Then I'll fire the last round.
Boom!
And I'll miss with a 10.
Oh no!
Okay.
Is there any other number to roll?
I know.
All I have to do is roll a nine.
I've been doing 10s all night.
Goddamn it, A-Pone.
So as you're running, you're trying to shoot behind you.
Full-on just miss.
It ends up piercing, but stopping at the door
because these are not, these are kinetic rounds.
So it just sticks into the door of the engine room,
but you're running.
Yeah, I'll take the, you're running.
I'll use that second significant action
to terminate her to Schwarzenegger with the
like flip it. Hell yes!
With reload. I don't know how that happened the like flip. Hell yes! With reload.
I don't know how that happened.
As you're running through, you reload.
Looks so cool.
Yeah. You can shoot and fire again.
Oh, because it is free, right?
Yeah. That's a good action to reload.
All right, I'll fire one more time.
I've rolled my 15 feet.
An eight, I'll succeed.
I failed. Okay.
Take your shot.
Six.
Six, 12 points of damage.
Woo!
Ugh, its chest explodes.
It is just, it's struggling.
Dr. Wiser.
Get off this boat!
You're up.
I heard everybody.
Are we going to the escape pod?
Get off the ship!
I am heading to the escape pod.
Okay.
So you're detaching the Ark or no?
I, no.
The Ark has been detached.
You could ask Mother.
Yeah.
Mother, was that the feeling of the Ark
detaching from the ship?
Yes, it was.
The Ark has been detached.
And is it the Ark that's emergency landing?
Yes, not us.
Not us.
It can land without us.
So we didn't attach in time, okay.
I can't burn an action for double movement, can I?
Yeah.
I will burn an action for double movement.
Okay.
So I have not been paying attention.
Yeah, that's where, yeah.
What's your speed?
15.
So 30. Whoa, that's it?
15?
Speed of three, so yeah, movement of 15. Whoa, you are.
But if you're burning an action, you get double the movement.
Yeah, two significant actions is, you can double that.
Oh, I will take that again.
Yeah. Just like action.
You know what?
I'm going to, yeah, I'm just going to get there
my next turn, I'm going to start prepping the pod.
You're going to make your way to the cargo bay.
Make my way.
Dr. Nomen, you're up.
I turn on the oxygen on the cryo chambers
on high blast to try and help lure it there.
I am also going to start making my way
to the escape pod, I guess.
Great.
Because I don't have too much shit to do.
You see Dr. Wiser, just full peat coat, running.
Just leaping. Dr. Wiser!
Leapfrogging.
Oh, hang on, hang on.
I come out into the galley.
I turn around and I look at the science lab door.
What do I see?
You see that there is a hole.
Yeah.
In the metal piece that Forrest tried to fashion on top of the window
and it is split apart from the inside.
Quick, quick scan of the door around.
Do I see anything else?
Make a perception check.
Shit, okay.
Intelligence.
I just trained on this, so.
Oh wait, that's a d20.
I was like, a 13! I know, I know.
What the fuck?
Ah, hot!
Okay, that's a three.
Success. Ah, hot. Okay, that's a three, success.
You see in the galley
that this oxygen line right here
has been burst open as well.
And it is a huge opening.
Ah, does it?
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I go, I think they're twinsies.
Um, and then I go, Virgil!
And I run towards the science lab.
No, you do not!
Yes, I do.
No, you do not!
Yes, I do.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, you run towards the science lab.
Can I open the door? Do I have enough action?
I probably moved a lot. That's a lot.
Open the door.
You have the fucking hurricane!
It's already out.
It's already out.
She cackles with an insane laugh.
It's already out!
It's all right, it's all right, it's all right!
You open the door.
I go like this to trigger the motion sensors.
Motion sensors come on.
Okay.
You go to where you left Virgil in his cage.
And the glass has been shattered.
Virgil is nowhere to be seen.
As you're standing there,
I did this.
You feel a dripping on your shoulder.
You feel something crawl across your throat
and into your mouth.
Oh!
Russia!
Oh my god.
It feels like fiberglass.
Oh god.
That is dark ash. Oh god. That is dark ash.
Oh god. I'm sorry.
I just turn and I look at Dr. Wiser across from me.
Oh my god.
Oh yeah, because it's lucid,
so we can see that shit going down.
Oh yeah.
Yep.
Okay, the creature's up.
Oh no, which creature?
Who's got the tranquilizer pistol?
That would be Dr. Wiser.
You're like Mr. Goodbody.
We're seeing all the inner smirthing.
I am based off of a glass frog,
so my skin is a bit translucent.
Yes.
This creature is starting to book it towards you, Sarge.
Crawling up the wall, getting on top of the ceiling.
I haven't been shot in the ass.
As he passes, he takes a tail swipe.
He passes you? He passes?
He's on the ceiling.
He's on the ceiling. New cigar.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
What was it?
Ah, fuck! I failed!
Oh, I did, too.
I failed by...
Both fail, things get bad, is what I wrote down.
Oh. Okay.
So.
He lands. Okay, so.
He lands
and turns around and looks at you, Sarge. Uh-huh.
Just waiting and you can't get by.
Forest, you're up.
I'm trying to understand how far it's gotten.
And each of these squares is how much?
Each of these squares is five feet,
but I wasn't paying attention, really, to that.
Okay.
What are you going to do?
You know.
It's a monster, that's why.
Well, what I'd like to do, GM,
is unplug from the terminal,
because I initiated my new directive,
and I would like to start running as fast as I can.
And as he goes,
bio-organic synthetic muscle and tissue
like tenses and flexes through his whole body
and he just starts sprinting up the hall.
And if I can, I would, as he's running,
he would rip the oxygen tank off his suit
because he doesn't need it.
And keep running straight at the creature
and use his blowtorch to ignite the oxygen tank
as he catches up with the alien.
So you're just going to explode us all?
He's got directives.
Do you at least parkour around me
or are you just knocking me over?
I will shoulder check you and it hurts.
Ha! I'm going to remember that.
Okay.
You shoulder check.
Fucking bitch.
Go ahead. I'll do it closer
to the soldier than the captain.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll reel your ass back in from space. Okay. Okay. I reeled your ass back in from space.
Roll.
Roll.
Two.
Couldn't let him blow it off into the abyss.
Yep.
Let you die like Sprinkle.
Okay.
Amongst the stars.
So describe this to me.
He's running at slightly above human speed
and just shredding the oxygen tank off of his back
and taking the blowtorch off of his belt
and just starts burning it as he's running.
And as he passes Garrett just by a foot or two,
the fire finally breaks through the outer rim
of this oxygen tank, and it connects and erupts
in Forrest's hands as he catches up with this thing.
Okay.
As you get to him,
you succeed.
And you're blowtorching him, basically?
I'm blowtorching the oxygen tank to make it blow.
I'm trying to firebomb this thing.
You know, the pulse rifle shoots frags,
and that's 3d10.
I don't know if it's that crazy, but...
I want to see. Pulse Rifle shoots frags and that's 3d10. I don't know if it's that crazy, but. Hold on a second.
I like the zoom in into Dr. Nomen,
so we understand that Nomen is now the monster.
Okay.
How do you want to do this?
Whoa!
This is going to hurt Forest and potentially
Garrett as well.
And he's just going to take the damage
because he has his new directive
but his first directive
was just to witness and
to facilitate.
And he needs to facilitate
so it doesn't really matter if he survives this.
Hopefully he does, but it doesn't really matter.
So he just takes whatever Inferno happens to himself,
as he almost grapples the creature as it ignites,
to make sure it can't get away.
I know, right?
What were you supposed to witness?
Witness me.
As you do this,
it hits directly where the wound
already was in this creature.
And you are making sure that this lands.
And that creature from the inside implodes.
His everything across the ceiling,
its body parts, its blood,
its icky all over.
You are standing there dripping.
Did we get blasted back from that at all, or?
Roll damage.
Oh fuck.
What should I roll?
Is that 3d10, like the grenades, or?
Or two?
I don't know.
3d10. Shotgun's two.
Yeah, let's do 3d10 because that's pretty big.
Super low.
Super low.
Super low. Okay.
Four.
Whoa!
Did you roll? One and a two.
Okay, so you each take
four points of damage.
As well as you.
Better than it could have been.
Okay.
Okay, for now, you guys are doing pretty good.
Never let a synthetic do a man's job.
I hear it is.
Also, Sarge.
All the tropes.
You are not connected to any oxygen.
Oh shit, you've just been running.
Fuck!
And the only other oxygen tank just got blown.
There's a hazmat suit. Put the hazmat suit on.
Get to the galley and get it on.
That's an order.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, that's right.
We put it all out on the table.
Yeah, it's all on the galley table.
Yeah, hazard suit's there.
We are, I'm going to say we're out of initiative right now.
Okay.
So. I'm going to turn the bios out of initiative right now. Okay. So.
I'm going to turn the bioscanner on immediately
and see if there's any other life forms
that we don't know about.
And did I burn the bug?
You burned the bug.
Okay. Bug's bug.
That bug.
You turn on the bioscanner and
you do sense three other creatures
in this ship.
Three that, besides us?
Besides you.
I just got adrenaline in my head.
That's not good.
I stumble through the hallway,
like, fucking shot my ass,
hands on the wall,
and I'm coming into the galley looking for the hazmat suit.
Do I see it?
Who had the hazmat suit?
It was on the galley table.
It was on the galley table.
It was a bunch of stuff, yeah, and it didn't get claimed.
You grab the hazmat suit, you put it on.
That has to take a minute, though, right?
I help. I'm going to go up and start helping.
You help.
You successfully get it on him. I'm also going to give you the tranquilizer pistol
because I can't shoot this thing.
Oh, okay.
And Forest, who's wearing one of the suits,
the suit is burned away up at the top
and the blue and black plaid that he had
is mostly blackened and burned away
and fused into his flesh.
And one swatch of his jaw is gone,
and there's just blackened white plastic
or fiberglass or something on one side.
Oh yeah.
I've got, oh, sorry.
No, go ahead.
I've got the flamethrower up on one side
and just looking all around,
knowing that there's three other life forms on this ship.
Just a question.
I know we have an amphibian person on this crew.
How common are synthetic life forms?
They're common in the worlds you come from.
They are? Yeah.
Okay.
We got to get off the ship.
Can I tell from the bioscanner
where the creatures are currently?
You can feel,
you can tell that there's one around here.
There seems to be one in the life support room.
And there seems to maybe be one still in the science lab.
You can't tell directly where they are at.
I'm going to use the computer to lock down all doors.
The north, all doors in the ship,
except for the science lab and the cargo bay.
Yeah, because we're all in the galley now
and the cargo bay.
I'm going to lock down as much of this thing as I can.
Are you still in the science lab, Dr. Noman?
Still in the open threshold.
You're still in the open threshold.
Get in here.
And at this point, the Ark has started its descent
to the surface.
Confirm with Mother.
Mother.
Yes.
And Mother, you can still confirm
that there's not been a contamination on the Ark?
Protecting the cargo is my one job.
I made sure to seal off the Ark.
Can I do like an insight check on Mother?
I've been running diagnostics.
Yeah.
Yeah, run a...
Would that be a psychology test?
There's perception, there's psychology,
there's computers.
Run a computer check with intelligence of...
hacking, I guess.
I rolled a critical success. I rolled a one.
Yes.
Yeah. Okay.
From what you can gather,
Mother is absolutely 100% telling the truth.
Okay.
She had one job, and that is to protect her babies.
Mother, can you confirm that the Ark
has made its descent towards the planet?
The Ark is currently making its descent.
Mother, how many of us will fit on the escape pod?
One.
Oh!
One?
Captain.
With your permission,
that son of a bitch stuck its fucking spiky ass tail
up my nose, so I don't know how well I'm going to be doing.
Forest doesn't seem to be a organic life form.
I would suggest that the three of you decide
who lives and someone else needs to make sure
that this ship does not enter the planet's atmosphere
and land by some sort of autopilot function.
Do you understand what I'm suggesting?
Very much.
Very much in agreement.
I can blow the ship.
I need that med scanner.
I take it out and before I hand it over, I check myself.
I was about to make you do it anyway.
Yeah.
Before you wreck yourself.
You are currently infected with a parasite.
It's a cowdada.
A what?
That's the biological term.
An amphibious-like creature with a tail.
It's a cowdada.
Here you go.
Do we know what the reading was?
Was it?
You see in the reading that
there is a foreign entity parasite in the body.
And we know that. You shared that.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to scan.
Yep.
Same? Same thing.
I back up away from both of them.
I scan you.
It's clean.
Over there, the two of you.
Eh, mm-mm.
Yeah? Scan the captain.
Clean.
That fucking sucks.
We did our mission, though.
We delivered the cargo.
Dr. Weiser, you go to the escape pod.
I can get this ship away from the planet's surface.
I'm going to make my way to the bridge.
If you flood the oxygen back into the engine room,
you could ignite it.
I'm not going to argue with this.
I run into my room, grab a couple things,
and run to the escape pod.
As he leaves,
Forest,
are you okay with this?
I wish we were playing Scrabble right now.
We have time for probably one last game.
There is a board game of Scrabble in the galley.
If that is how you would like to end things.
GM, we have three entities on the ship, though, also.
Yeah, there's still these things. We got to move.
I'm going to try to get to the bridge
so it can fly us away from the Ark
and away from the planet surface as far as possible.
Okay. Yeah, we can, we might,
I don't want to be an optimist,
we could work on us, maybe,
if the med bay is secured or whatever,
but we got to get him out of here.
I agree.
I'm going to lock myself in the escape pod
and see if I can, at least for some time,
run ops from the escape pod.
Okay.
Get out of here.
Get to the surface.
Potentially attempt to, I don't know,
flood our veins with like a saline type of fluoride solution
or something,
but it would probably cause a pretty big oxygen deficit,
and I don't know if we could even survive that process.
Sounds fun.
Sarge. Try.
You start to feel
Oh shit.
an intense pain.
You all see and hear
muscles and bones
ripping, being snapped.
Oh shit!
The sounds that Sarge are making are horrifying.
Guttural.
His body bends and cracks
as this organism is eating him from the inside.
Oh!
Looking for a way out.
Sarge, as you look down,
your chest starts to move.
It looks as though dorsal spines
are forming underneath your skin.
It's painful.
You start to scream as you double over in pain
and you all hear crunching and a pop
and the skin ripping as the creature
bursts through his chest,
violently removing itself from its host.
Just burst her!
As Sarja's skin sack falls to the ground.
Oh!
The creature slithers away
up into an oxygen vent.
Full speed into the airlock.
I am full speed into the airlock,
locking the doors behind me.
Get out.
You get into the airlock.
You're in the escape pod.
I am initiating
launch sequence.
Who's in the galley still?
Just you and you.
So you're the only ones that witnessed Sarge and you know,
I saw the beginning of it and I ran.
But I also remember there was a life form
up near the bridge that I remembered seeing a bleepies.
Is it still there? And the oxygen vents.
Could be.
Dr. Nomen,
Forest, where would you like to go?
Captain, I would like to make sure that the
doctor makes it off of the ship.
Is there anything left in that flamethrower?
Full tank.
I'll meet you halfway.
And I start walking towards the bridge.
Get the flamethrower up.
As soon as he's halfway up the hallway,
I'm going to chuck it back to him.
Bloop.
Dr. Nomen.
Thank you.
As you're in the science lab,
you do see on the ground
a leftover skin from Virgil.
It's whole.
You hold it.
It's not shedding.
You keep it with you.
Maybe he just slithered away.
I hope he's okay.
I go up to the bridge.
No, get the fuck out the bridge. Nope.
Get the fuck out of here.
Okay.
You got a parasite.
Forest,
I'm going to need you to make sure
nothing makes it off this ship.
Knowing the inevitable,
go to my locker,
pull out my lucky petri dish,
the one that I was hatched in,
turn it around.
It's got Mother's signature on it.
Oh.
Oh.
Johnson Corp.
Mother. Johnson Corp Mother I love you mom
I love you too
You successfully completed your mission
Just wanted to make you proud
You've made me so very proud Oh. Just wanted to make you proud.
You've made me so very proud.
Well, I
wouldn't want to end anything in disappointment.
You have never been a disappointment to me.
I take out the scabpel that I was given,
knowing the inevitable,
and slit my throat.
Oh, that made me so sad. Oh! You can see whatever black ichor was in.
God, you would have seen it growing in your body.
Yes, I could see the process
and just know that there's no stopping it
with how fast it gestates
and decide to end it before it gets worse.
The creature slithers out of your body
and you fall, clutching your lucky petri dish.
Holding my little Virgil skin?
Holding your Virgil skin.
Captain and Forest, you both are at the bridge.
Thank you for completing this mission.
I know this was very hard.
The good news is a lot of libraries will be named after all of you.
Dr. Wiser.
You seal yourself in to the escape pod.
You seal yourself in to the escape pod.
Mother?
Yes?
Are all relevant files backed up
in the escape pod mainframe.
Yes, we have everything.
Let's go.
Are you okay to go?
Yes.
You better say, I'm okay to go.
I'm okay to go.
Been a while.
Shit.
While he's getting set,
Forrest has got Flamethrower in hand
and starts walking towards the cargo bay,
clocks the dead doctor on the floor.
And as he's walking, he's thinking about Ithaca, New York, the cargo bay, clocks the dead doctor on the floor.
And as he's walking, he's thinking about Ithaca, New York, where he was born,
and the places in Upstate where he lived to assimilate,
and puts his back to the escape pod and waits for anything,
and over his shoulder says,
good luck, Doctor.
I hope tomorrow you will be both older and wiser.
I'm going to start piloting the ship.
Thank you for everything, Forrest.
As far away from the planet's surface as possible.
I want to make sure that when we finally crash,
we don't crash onto the surface of the planet.
I want to drift. You're an ace pilot. crash, we don't crash onto the surface of the planet.
I want to drift.
You're an ace pilot.
You successfully pull the ship far enough away
where any debris will not fall into the atmosphere.
Captain Glass?
Yes, Mother?
Forrest, do you have any family aboard the Ark?
My family didn't win the lottery, Mother.
I'm sorry, Forrest.
I know you do not have family aboard.
On the contrary, Mother.
I found family.
Dr. Weiser.
Your escape pod detaches from the ship.
You are hurtling towards the planet.
And as you enter the atmosphere,
you see the flames out your window.
I breathe deep. I take a photograph
that I grabbed in a book with me of my mother
and stick it on the wall as we go hurtling down
and breathe deep and
I sit and try and read for as long as I can
before the shaking makes it impossible.
I grabbed a
treasure island and I'm trying not to think about
what's happening and where I've left.
Forest and Captain Glass,
you are able to see through the window of the bridge
that the Ark has successfully landed on this planet,
just as the ship explodes. We end with our survivor, Dr. Ramsey Wiser.
It's a rough landing, but you're alive.
The escape pod gives you a reading of your surroundings.
It's warm.
There's water.
Oxygen. It is 100% hospitable to your genetic makeup.
Would you like to exit the pod?
Am I on land or water?
You're on land.
Yes.
As you exit, you see a desert landscape
for miles and miles.
The sand is fine, escape for miles and miles.
The sand is fine, with a consistency that feels almost like powder.
And there's a beach curving around a vast ocean
with crystal blue water.
From afar, you see a massive metal structure.
Copper.
About 150 feet in length.
As you get closer,
you see that the structure is the face of a woman,
you see that the structure is the face of a woman,
but on her side,
a crown on the top of her head.
As you follow the structure up the coastline,
you see what looks to be a large hand
holding a torch.
There is another piece of metal
sticking out of the sand, broken, and it reads,
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
And as you walk towards the arc,
we pull away from the seemingly once inhabited planet,
this pale blue dot,
hoping and praying for the survival of this species.
And that is where we end our game.
They did it.
Damn.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh boy, oh boy!
Good job, you guys.
That's the Jenkins.
Hey!
We did it!
How emotional.
Yeah, there's all the things.
So.
That was so lovely.
Oh, thanks. So good.
So I was very nervous to do this, but
I have to thank the person that helped me
through this whole entire thing, Kyle Shire.
Kyle? Yeah, Kyle!
Kyle Shire!
Being able to work with this amazing crew
that you've built and put together was just so amazing.
Wait, Kyle, come here,
because your mom's going to watch this.
There's the most lovelies.
Come take a screen bow, Kyle.
Come here. Coming from the back.
Get on board the Nautilus, Kyle.
I can see a three, two, one.
Come here, come here.
Yeah!
Oh man. Thank you, Kyle.
Yeah, this crew's amazing.
Yeah, so thanks for watching.
And is it Thursday yet?
Okay.
Should I be?
Wait.
Give a quick shout out?
Yes, give a quick shout out.
Because I have to give credit where credit is due.
Yes. No.
The original ideation of Dr. Nomen Elfreno
was from Sam's daughter,
a six-year-old.
Yes.
Because she has brilliant ideas,
and I love her,
and I said, make me a character.
I want to play what you make.
And if I could just read you real quick
what she said.
Yes.
Texted Sam, and I was like,
have her make me a character.
He said, she's got a couple of ideas.
Translucent alien frog person,
probably a sorcerer, mostly water-type magic.
Name ideas, Frenno, Nomen, or El,
so I used all of them.
She also says this character has a pet snake,
and that's how she casts her spells, through the snake.
And that she liked gnomon because it spells no men.
Hey!
So.
Thanks!
All of that, I just took what she gave me
and made what you saw today.
And while we weren't playing Dungeons and Dragons,
I just figured that science is magic
and made her a biologist.
Science is magic.
Yeah. It really is.
So. So great.
Thank you to Sam's kid.
Also, these incredible flats from Flip This Bitch
and this set. Yes!
Flip This Bitch!
Totally giving that late 70s, early 80s vibe, retro sci-fi.
Next fucking line.
And thank you, Ash, for jumping in.
Thanks for jumping in the pool.
I don't ever want to do this again.
No.
You should.
You can't do this again?
Class, but I'm good.
The anxiety is too much.
Did not want it to end.
Yeah.
So cinematic. Yeah. I love these people. Did not want it to end. Yeah.
So cinematic.
Yeah.
I love these people.
I love these people, too.
They're dead.
All right, well.
I'm not.
I made it, guys, I made it!
I'm going to get 20 feet away
and then get shot on sight, and they're like,
oh god, what is that?
And then I'll be back.
I feel fine.
Yes.
Well, don't forget to love each other.
Ah.
Is it Thursday yet?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Love you, Mother!
Love you, Mother.
Also, wanted to thank our boy, Chris Wilmot, in sound,
for making the mother pedal amazing voice.
Oh, yeah.
So tight.
Chills.
So on the nose for how vibes and thanks, boo.
Thank you for traveling the stars with Johnson Corp.
We hope you enjoyed the journey.
And if you did, please leave us a review
on the podcast app of your choice.
Your thoughts may just lead a new traveler
to embark on their own odyssey.
Is it Thursday yet?