Critical Role - Tiny Tina's Wonderlands One-Shot

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

This one-shot is sponsored by our friends at 2K Games. Check out Tiny Tina's Wonderlands from 2K Games now at http://Playwonderlands.com In our Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands One-Shot, Bunker Master Ashly Burch leads Ify Nwadiwe, Laura Bailey, Ashley Johnson, Travis Willingham, and Robbie Daymond through an ACTION-PACKED adventure of magical mayhem @PlayWonderlands.  Special thanks to Nerdvana Games for the copy of Bunkers & Badasses. MEET THE CASTBunker Master Ashly Burch: https://twitter.com/ashly_burchLaura Bailey: https://twitter.com/LauraBaileyVORobbie Daymond: https://twitter.com/robbiedaymondAshley Johnson: https://twitter.com/TheVulcanSaluteIfy Nwadiwe: https://twitter.com/IfyNwadiweTravis Willingham: https://twitter.com/WillingBlam Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast, and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story. Hello, you beautiful folks, and welcome to our very special one-shot collaboration tonight with our wonderful friends at 2K and their highly anticipated release, A Tiny Tina's Wonderlands.

Woo! Ow! In the game, Tiny Tina, that's me, did you guys know, is your disorderly guide through an extraordinary tabletop realm where rules rarely apply. It's gonna be the same thing with this game, baby. Players roll a multi-class hero to loot, shoot, slash, and cast their way throughout landish monsters

and loot-filled dungeons on a quest to stop the tyrannical dragon lord. All while exploring a vast overworld spanning majestic cities, dank mushroom forests, foreboding fortresses, and more. You can enjoy the game solo or start a party with up to three friends, you should maybe do that, it's really fun, in seamless online multiplayer

or local split screen. The game is available on the Epic Games Store right now. It's right now, I'm gonna, it's right now. Head to playwonderlands.com for more info, which leads us to our very special event this evening, where I'll be running this wild group of ne'er-do-wells through a custom adventure set within this awesome world. And who are these ne'er-do-wells?

Let's intro them. First off, we got the lovely Ashley Jensen. Oh, hey! Do you do your own intro? That's not my name. My name. She's in character. I'm so sorry. She's gone method.

I'm VV Method for my one-shots. My name is Ramsey Finnegan. I come from the Obsidian Forest. Oh. Ooh. Do you have a picture? Yes. Travis is like, we're supposed to have a backstory. Right, right, right. Ramsey is just a bit of a gunslinger.

And she's got her cowboy hat. What you don't see here right now is that there's fringe all on the rim of the hat. Invisibility. Well, fringe. You know, like fun fringe. Like the kind you move and it moves. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it's called. I'm imagining the ones with the balls.

That's not right. Yes, let's go with that. Okay, Gregor Greg. You know, for mysteriousness. And that's Ramsey. Well, you have a companion, don't you? Oh my god, thank you. A fine-feathered friend. Yes, I have a beautiful fine-feathered friend named Davey

who sits on my shoulder and he flies around and does what I tell him to sometimes. Oh my god. I assume it's a bird. Yeah, what kind of bird is that? It's just a very, it's a feathered man. It's a flamingo. It's a small, feathered man that sits on your shoulder.

It's a tiny, small, feathered man. That is canon. We're not going back. Travis, would you like to introduce yourself? Yes, my name is Dewey D. Doody. I have access with members in math and I got into the armed services to help balance the books.

But I found out there was an expansive R&D department, and so I have developed technology to help us in our efforts on the field. I also will do your taxes in between rounds, just in case you have not followed up with your 1099s or RWGs. Some of the tax season. Did you have that pocket protector already?

Or did you purchase it for this event? I'd rather not say. I don't have a feathered friend, though. A small man, feathered in feathers? No, but I got a pie tattoo. Abnormally small. You have a little more real estate here, you guys. I got a bigger one. I think I got one and a pack of 50, too,

so I got three. You could have done the barbed wire tattoo, just the numbers. Just the numbers all the way around. I like to think that that was too painful for Dewey, though. Yeah, exactly. He wanted to hide. Next to Dewey, we have...

Yeah, this is Meta Hartley. Yeah, see, I used to be, I went to a military school, joined the military after. It was an Atlas Company school, and then I realized that they were no good, so I became a gun runner, but then my estranged sister got in contact with me. It was a very long email, but a little too long to explain in this intro period right here.

I had a lot of time when I did this backstory. I'm going to try and sprinkle it in, but honestly, only about 10% is about to. I spent more time on writing the intro to my character that you will never see. But trust me, there's a whole thing. This character's deep, baby. Every time you, and awkwardly, fit in your backstory,

I'm going to give you something good. So please. Please! At every opportunity. You're so deep in the game, you didn't even say your actual name. I was written by a guy named Ifywadi. Next to the very, very deep lore of meta, we have...

My name's Robbie Tame, and I was not ready to role play in the intro. I'm playing Mateo Sandoval. You know, he comes from humble beginnings, but he's had a colored past, and right now he's just living in his mama's basement on Pandora, waiting for the right opportunity to come his way. Super smart, super handsome, handsome as heck.

Is he trying to compensate right now for living in his mother's basement? Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Okay, okay. And we'll learn more about him later. You didn't write a backstory, did you? A soul, it's massive. That was the second one that when I saw the email,

I was like, oh, Robbie saw me write it. I did write a one! Yeah, you did actually write a one. I could give away the goose in the first five minutes. Okay, well, watch how I suddenly sprinkle my backstory in. Mine is equally as long. Oh yeah.

Oh, hey there! I'm Laura Bailey, and I'll be playing tonight Kill Pro Z21v2, also known as an assassin bot. Yeah. Oh, give it back. Undertook some repairs a little while ago and things didn't go quite right, so my personality got a little messed up.

But other than that, everything's just fine. I love your tiny notebook. Thank you, it's for taking orders. Oh, how lovely. Would you like anything? Yes, I would love to start the day! Whoa! Would you like lemon with that, though? Please, on the side, on the side. Yes, I would love to start this day! Yeah! Would you like lemon with that, though? Please. All right.

On the side, on the side. Thank you. I have some, I feel so much power, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I have all Matt's secrets that I'm just, like, soaking them in. Anyway. To the game! You all find yourselves, I'm so sorry. You all find yourself in the embattled town of Flame Rock Refuge.

Oh, God, no. Better write that shit down. Flame Rock? Flame Rock. Flame Rock Refuge. Oh god, no. Better write that shit down. Flame Rock? Flame Rock Refuge. Oh gosh, okay. It's in a state of disrepair, if we're honest. Your voice is so infectious, I have to make sure that I don't do it all the time.

It's where there are many hardships in its day, and you can see it on the faces of the people. Haggard, worn with despair. There is no life here, merely survival. Craftspeople and merchants tend to their traits, not as work, but as toil. A small number of rooftop tethers extend skyward, each mooring a modest watch airship,

silhouetted against eternal twilight. Oh, Flame Rock Refuge is a city poised on the edge of oblivion. This is where you find yourselves. And there is something very terrible that has happened, which is the queen has disappeared. Oh shi- Gasp.

The queen of Flame Rock? The queen of the whole land. Oh! The queen of the whole stinking land is gone, guys. Travis, why are you laughing at me already? I need you to pretend that I'm good at this for at least 20 minutes. That was the best ever. I'm engrossed in the lore of the tale!

So you heard about the queen's disappearance and you're trying to make a little scratch on the side. So your band of Vault Hunters has headed to Moxie's Grog as the town's scouting blimps circle overhead, always alert in case of bad, bad guys. Would you like to take this opportunity to describe your characters even more so? What they're doing as they enter?

Do you know each other? Are you all just discovering each other in this moment? Well, we're working together, right? Yeah. Well, I know some of these military brats from the military. You know, before I was shipped off there after being there at the Atlas boarding school.

Rich from the hands of my parents. Let's get into it, baby. You get a plus one on your next roll. What? Did y'all fight together in the wars? No, I've been out of the service for a minute. Yeah. Retiring a little bit, or on purpose?

Ah, no, just looking for, you know, this. This is pretty cool. Oh, hello there. Welcome to Moxie's Grog. Ooh. Yeah. Can I get you a table or anything? I'd like to just stand at the bar. Okay.

Why are you taking orders? Aren't you part of the team? No, no, no, no. Oh no, oh no, I meant to say Britt. No, I work here at Maxi's Grub. Hold on one second. I remember how to just... Just going to.

Hi. Actually, contrary to popular belief, that actually doesn't always fix the problem. It's usually a good thing. It fixed it this time. Yeah, I'm here to help. An anomaly. Not here to serve you guys. I'm here to help you guys. What are we doing?

Mateo notices that the small, feathered man on Ramsay's shoulder is just staring at him. What do you want? We've been hanging out for a while now. I'm sick of your little bird man over here. What? Yeah, he's always giving me the stink eye. Look at him. Who, Davey?

Yeah. Well, maybe he doesn't like you. Maybe I don't like him. Do you like him? What does that mean? I mean, Davey's not the only one given a stink eye to this group of Vault Hunters, though. Who do we?

There's a man at a table nearby with a scowl on his face, looking at all of you in turn. And as you walk by to the bar, he says, I don't like the cut of your jib. I lurch my massive body, like, so overexpressive. Like, I go from the back of him only to lurch around back to his face going,

We trying to say something? Because, you know, you got to speak up to do that. Oh shit. The spitting is canon. The spitting is canon. The spitting is canon. A little bit of spit dribbles into his drink. Insulted, he slams it down on the bar. I said, did you just dribble a little dribble spit

in my GD drink, sir? I'm going to shimmy on the other side of the man at the bar, just to give him some extra tension. He clocks it. I'm going to drop back to Killbot over here. Killbot! What is your name?

Killpro? Killpro. Killmama, Z. Thank you very much, but I am the kill bots, so you know. She's a little bit of a loose cannon, so I'm going to drop back by her and just be by her side. Hey. Sir.

Do you have a problem with this man spitting in your drink? Yeah, I got to say, first off, that was an accident. See, it's a condition I developed shortly after leaving military school, Atlas Military School. My mouth gets real moist when I think a fight is about to start.

I knew that moist should be one of the obvious words if I'm being honest. My mouth gets real wet when I think a fight's about to start. Now you don't get a roll. You don't get a plus one to roll. Moist or wet in one sentence, I can't let it slide. I can't let it slide. I can't let us lie. He says,

Look, I didn't like the cut of your jib before, but I think any reasonable person would not like their drink being spit into. So I do think we got a problem. I spit to differ. You like people spitting in your drink? It depends on who it is, but yes. I sure do. So this guy's ready to fight.

You can try to talk him down. You can try to do a check of some kind if you want, or you can just start throwing blows. Can I walk up to him and say, I'm so sorry, sir, for that inconvenience. Can I get you another drink there? Who the hell are you? Kill Pro Z21 Day2 at your service.

And you're taking my drink order? Oh, well, sure, sir. Roll a talk check. Oh god. So just roll a d20. First roll. First roll. What'd you get? 11. He narrows his eyes.

I want a beer with no spit in it. Certainly, sir. I'm going to grab his drink and I'm just going to walk around to the other side of the bar. What? And get him a beer out and walk back out. A woman with a large hat

and equally large, you know, things on the front of a woman's body eyes you in a strange way and says, These things. These things here. These things here. Just do it. And kind of eyes, and he goes,

what are you doing, darling? Getting a beer for our patron there. He had a bit of dribble in his drink, so. Most of our drinks come with dribble, to be fair. You're going to need to pay for that, though, darling. Oh, that's cool, that's cool, I got it. How much is it? 10 gold.

What? 10 gold. 10 gold? Not like space credits or anything? 10! Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold up, I got that. Yeah, no problem. 10 gold for 10 gold? That's so, we do not know the conversion rate in this universe.

Here's 10 gold, I got you. All right, go ahead. While they're getting that beverage, am I able to locate any weapons on this gentleman's person? Would you like to make a search roll? Yes. 13. You can't see everything,

but you do see that he has fists that have calluses, just very, very strong calluses, where he's very clearly been in his fair share of bar fights. Understood. Keep your distance. I'm going to reach into my Kill Pro apron that I have in the front, and I'm going to pull out a straw for him and a couple napkins.

The best medicine bot apron. He's going to try the beer. I bet it's not as good. He's kind of warm to you. You're the only one that he likes now. The rest of these guys, he doesn't know, but he's like, Thank you kindly, miss. That's not what that's nobody sounds like. Thank you kindly, miss.

Why don't you like the cut of our jib, huh? We just walked in here. I don't like people generally, as a general rule. I had a bad upbringing. I, too, was taken from my parents at an early age. And I've not learned to trust. Oh, that's sad. It's very tragic.

So once you said your backstory, I felt triggered. Trust. Oh, let's say it. It's very tragic. So once you said your backstory, I felt triggered. Oh, look. I put my hand on his shoulder. Well, in that case, it seems like we're two birds of a feather. Me, drifting shortly. Oh yeah, I forgot.

You see also a mangled, weird, feathered hand go into the circle. Get in there, kid. Yeah. With three birds of a feather, all just making our way through life, trying to figure out what's happening. Ma'am, ma'am, could I get, who wants a beer?

Oh, would you like a, oh. You see also, by the way, this woman is putting out drinks that are not beers. They look interesting. They're of different intricate colors, of varying sized goblets and the like. She's putting them out. There is beer and there is mead,

but there are also these drinks that she's putting out for you to want to indulge. Oh, oh, I love having the cuisine and drinks of a certain place that I visit. So what do we have here? Let's see what we have here. Let's have a bit of a roll for it, shall we? Yeah!

Dun dun! She says, oh, that one's called a Kill You A, darling. Would you like that? It's 10 gold. We have a very consistent pricing scheme in this bar. What are the ingredients for this? Snake blood, rat blood,

and jet fuel. Great, I'll take it. Wow. Does anybody else want some? No, I think I'm going to try something else. She hands you the beverage. As it sloshes around, it sparks a little bit. Oh! Holy crap. And you get that!

Oh, I get a thing! You get a thing! Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, yes! Kill you away. It is kill you away. Oh, yes! Kill you away. All right, well, then. That's going to help you. I'm grabbing it. That is definitely going to help me.

A different colored beverage. I'm going to go with this one. As you leave, the man that didn't like the cut of your jib, he is now sobbing into his drink. And like the spittle from your mouth, his tears are filling the beverage as he remembers his sad back story. Having struck a chord.

But please, you come up to the bar. Yeah, yeah, well, when I see that, I definitely go ahead and then I give a nice little nudge to do and go, sometimes you eat the bar. Sometimes the bar eats you. Oh, that's very good. Yeah, I learned that my senior year

at the army boarding school, I went through, see, my parents, they went through a tragic death that I have yet to find out until I met my estranged sister a couple of years ago. Estranged sister? The bartender with voluptuous bosom touches it, touched, and says,

Honey, that drink's just eight gold for you. Why? My parents died, so. You already paid me the gold, no recourse. Fair enough. Thank you so much. Here's your eight gold. And recourse. Thank you so much, yes you hate gold. And let me see, is there a particular mood? What kind of thing do you like? What sort of stuff do you look for in a drink?

And a woman, also. You know what, just something like thick and frothy. Thick and frothy. Lots of character to it. Thick and frothy. Lots of character to it. How interesting. Maybe you'd like... This, and she hands you a beverage that is fizzy

and gives you a little wink. Ooh! And then it does a spin and then... Ooh, drub soul. Yep, yep. All right. All right. Hey, Medha. My drink is missing a little something. Get it in there, get it in there, get it in there!

Yep, yep. Yep. Get it in there, get it in there, get it in there! Y'all are a weird bunch, she remarks. You have anything I like to keep it frosty, like something, you know, virgin? You pointed to him quite deliberately. Yeah, it was a joke. No, I see it, though. I see it. I'm going to give you a drink for free, actually, sweetheart. Oh, do you have a...

Like a cider would be lovely. And for you, sugar. I'm going to give you a little high sugar. Ha-cha! Whoa! Ha-cha! Can Vox drink drinks? I think I can, you know? You might be able to.

What is your drink? Yeah, I would love a Would you like a drink, darling? Sure. Oh, we got one. Let's see. I think that you might benefit from something a bit stronger. And she slips you a goblet that's just very thick brown liquid.

It almost looks like oil. Yes. I like it. So where are y'all from? Haven't seen you around these parts before? From Flame Rock Refuge, actually. So you are from here. Yes, actually, yeah.

We heard the, I lost my fucking voice. Oh gosh, oh jeez, the queen went missing! So, you know, we're trying to figure out what happened to her. As your neck goes, your neck sparks a little bit. People have to dodge slightly. Yeah, you've heard of our misfortune. You're looking for the queen?

Yeah. We're out of sight, but we've been stationed here temporarily. But yes, the queen's mishap is of interest to us. Oh, you little butt. Well, if you want to try to find the queen, our beautiful, beloved queen, you might want to talk to that one over there.

And she nods to a surly-looking woman sitting in the back of the bar, very strider from Lord of the Rings, if you'll permit me the reference. Sort of just shit, like, you know, swaying is the word, swaying a little bit, a little drunk over a beer that has clearly been one of many in the night.

That's Elinor, queen's bodyguard. She blames herself for the queen's disappearance. Well, clearly she failed. You might not want to lead with that if you'd like some information. I won't. I'll ease into it. Maybe you should let, the robot, strangely, seems to have the best manners of all of you folks.

So maybe you should let him. Do you know if Ellinore is entertaining any payment for this task? You know, you don't do anything for free if you're good at it. So I just told you that this woman is very heartbroken because she failed at her job and you want to squeeze her for money?

That is correct. Yeah, you do belong here. I mean, you can ask, but she spent most of it on booze tonight, if I'm honest with you. Perhaps we could see what information we can gather. Wait, what is the queen's name here? Queen, uh. Queen Queen. Queen Queen?

She just goes by the illustrious queen. All right. But those closer to her know her by another name. Oh. Which I dare not utter here. All right then. That's what I'm going to do when I walk up to Elinor and I sit right next to her.

Oh, you're just going in? You're just going for it? Yeah. Looks like you're having a hard day. Looks like you're sitting without being invited, sir. Oh, well, you know, I just figured we can just talk. Talk about what? Well. She hiccups.

Well, we could talk about the reason that you're drinking so much. Are you this nosy with every fucking person? I shouldn't have said that word. Are you this nosy with every stinking person you meet in a tavern? Well, you know, only someone as buffed up and beautiful as you, of course.

Give me a talk roll on that one. Here we go, let's go. A little charm. Let's see. How are you on charm? Yeah, yeah. Oh! 19 plus two, 21. You are her type! It did not take much.

You gave that little flirt and she went, Well. I mean, what do you want to know? Well, I just want to know how I could cheer you up. You know, I don't like seeing you over here all sad. What's going on? She does the little fingers walking up. It worked a little bit too well.

Now she's thinking that you're propositioning her for sex. So she's pretty sloppy, and she's leaning on you. It's like, we could go upstairs or go outside, or hell, we could just do it right here if you want. Oh man. Well, well. Fenn, you might want to help.

I think he's vulnerable. She starts trying to feed you beer. Some of her beer. I don't know, man. I think it's going pretty good. You know, let's solve whatever problems you might be having before we, you know, solve the problems of our own. Let's do a little pre-coital discourse. Suddenly there's another man there.

We didn't talk about this being a package deal. But now she's into it. Now she thinks she's going to get into some sort of menage a trois situation. She thinks it's all part of the game, so she goes, Look, if I'm honest, there is something bothering me, and now she's looking at you and trying to feed you beer.

I'm starting to get drunk, so I'm like, all right, keep it over here. Keep it over here. Hey, how are you? You two do it. You guys love me, right? Of course, why not? Yeah, why it. You guys love me, right? Of course, why not? Yeah, why not?

You guys love me, right? She starts getting upset. Now you've made two people in the tavern cry. I failed my queen. I was supposed to protect her, but she ventured into the forest alone to undo a terrible curse that has stolen the light from this world.

She's the most beautiful, kind, and fair ruler to ever guide this land. And her mortal enemy, the Handsome Sorcerer, hates her for it. Oh man. He wants to burn this kingdom to the ground, and he used his evil magic to curse the land. He's turning allies and citizens into enemies

and spawning gruesome creatures to wipe out over citizens. And my beautiful queen, she went out to stop him and I tried to help her, but she disappeared. She collapses into your chest and starts sobbing. Can you give her a napkin from my... Thank you, sweetheart. Oh. You're pulsing her to sleep?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You give it a peck of the head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We give her a rock and then she sleeps. No, I was pelt. Yeah, it feels good. Make a, I don't know, fuck it, make a mastery check.

10,000 hours. With a plus one. 17. Whoa! She goes right to sleep and snores loudly. And the bartender is watching all of this, very intrigued, polishing silverware and putting it away, as you slowly lower her head into the booth

and she falls asleep. Well, we know what we have to do. We do? Everybody's drinks are blessed. We have to go after the handsome sorcerer. Yes. Wait, wait, what happened? I just was over there, and then all of a sudden,

you put her to sleep. Yeah, she was feeling real sad about losing the queen, told us exactly where she went. And you know, I let her get a nap, because sometimes you just got to sleep through the pain. Wake up and figure it out. So why are we doing this again? I just got to clarify, I mean, I...

She was supposed to return the queen. We are? Because it's a good thing to do, the bartender yells. She's beautiful and she's fair, but she's probably rich, too, right? That is inherent in the name queen. I would assume, illustrious queen.

Yeah, usually. I think if we do it, we'll bring her back. We'll probably make some money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in. Yeah, yeah. I'm in. Yeah, yeah. So the bartender tips her hat to you. For anyone that didn't get it, she's Moxie. She's Moxie from the games that you like. She's Moxie.

Oh! And you have your mission. Would you like to proceed to the forest? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With haste. With haste. You go to the forest.

Before I leave, I do leave my number under her head so she can call me later. Oh, you were put into it. Well, yeah, we'll be going to tell you. What's your number? My number is 678540445780. My number is 6785404-445-780.

You know, because it's a space number. International. Good numbers. Space numbers! Good numbers. You know space numbers? Like everyone has? Yeah, you know, she'll give me a call, you know,

because after this mission, I'm going to finish my overall mission, which is to take out the headmasters of the Atlas boarding school who took advantage of me and used me as a killing machine, using my berserker energy against me. And then the pact for which I wear this pink bandana for. Oh, do the bandana.

Yeah, to my sister that I'll give up killing after this. Your estranged sister. Yeah, my estranged sister. Then hopefully, you know, Eleanor will be my wife and we'll have the picket fence thing going on. Do you need any help with that? Yeah, sure, you know?

That would be a plus two to your next roll. Oh! For tying in the bandana. Did not know that was significant. Loved it. And we continue on. You travel into the forest and an ease sets upon your adventuring party. Because this, which Elinor neglected to tell you,

is called the Forest of Being Eaten Alive by Trees. Oh no! That is its full name. And predictably, it smells of bark and blood. Ah! The sun is shining, but red through the leaves, casting unseemly shadows on the grass. You hear leaves rustle in the wind until you stop and notice

that there actually isn't any wind at all. What's that about? Bring up my sniper rifle. What? Sniper rifle. You see a Brew You location, which all of you know is a place that if you were to die a grisly death,

potentially in this forest, you might potentially respawn here. And you can tell that something is wrong, apart from the fact, like, you know, it's called the Forest of Being Eaten Live by Trees, but even with that name, it's somehow more of a bummer than it would be usually. You see a tree that has just a guy's leg

in one of its branches, and it doesn't have a mouth, so it's just jamming it into its trunk as if to eat it. And you're just hearing the scraping of bone against bark. And you know, viscera. Just imagine viscera. That's not typical for the fauna of Visceria. So the trees are actually moving. Oh, they're alive.

And they mad. And as you step in through the forest, they sense your presence and they're ready to defend their home. So... Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Whoa! Whoa!

Take that! Yeah! It's a sword battle! Kablam! Oh! That's the forest. Okay. It's a sword pedal! Ka-bam! Oh! That's the forest. Okay. It's scurry.

Here we got one big old tree. Oh my gosh. One big old tree. You going to fight some plants? And two little stumpers. Mm-hmm. One tree, two tops. And your beautiful figurines! Looks so cool.

I like the neon orange. Da-da-da! So now it's time to roll for initiative, baby! Oh! You got it, okay. Roll! Initiative modifier. I take it.

Got it. Tell me what you got, babies. All right, let's go. So that is... Ramsey, you want to go first? Yeah. What do I add again? Oh shit. You have an initiative modifier.

That's right, that's all right. On the right. Okay, that is a dirty 20. That is a dirty 20, of course it is. Very dirty. I have a 15. Okay. Don't worry, Dewey.

All right, get ready, because I had a nat one, plus three, four. Ooh. Well, you were very successful in the tavern, so. Did you roll your extra? Yeah, did you use your plus two for your backstory? Oh, oh, hold on, then add two more to that. Okay, great.

That helps. Sandy? Very meddling, it's a 12 for me. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, okay. Okay, well, look at where I'm at. Kilbot? He rolled a nine. He rolled a nine. That's right. Nine.

Okay, so. Our sweet, beautiful Ramsay's going to go first. And then the baddos, they go. So we're all in group two. So the rest of y'all are in group two. Baddos. So Ramsay is first, and then the rest of y'all. Okay.

Ramsay, what would you like to do? We're going to stealth on through. Right? Because we don't want to get, we don't want to be a snack for these trees. You want to stealth after, I think they've been alerted in a violent way to our presence? They do know that you're there.

And also, because they're in the foliage of the trees, they are less visible to you at the moment. Oh, there you go. So you will be at disadvantage if you try to attack them. Okay. I'm just going to try to just sneak on through, because... Okay. You want to give me a sneak check?

I'm going to give a sneak check. Uh-oh. And she do. That would be an eight. Ain't going to do it. So you're trying to sneak up. Where's your beautiful bird folk? And this guy is alerted.

So you still have stuff that you can do, but he knows you're there. Okay. What I'm going to do is... Hey, hey, Davey, Davey, Davey. I'm going to need you to go to that tree and pick at it just a little bit, and then you come back to me, okay? But do pick at them real hard.

Tell them what's up. What for? What for? Okay, so you're sending Davy. I'm sending Davy. I love it. Natural 20. Whoa! Let's go! Oh my shards!

A natural 20! All right. Okay. Okay. But wait. So with... See, we didn't talk about... You're going to get an extra crit off of that natty 20, baby.

So he rolls two d8s and he gets a d12. He sure do. Where's the dat gum? Here it is. Okay, here we go. Don't you get an extra? After that. An extra crit, too,

because you rolled the 20. That's that crit. That d12 is your crit. The d12 is the crit. Oh, yeah, I thought because she rolled higher than a certain number that she would get another crit as well. Oh, Laura's correct, actually. So you get an extra crit off of it. Roll another d12. Okay.

So we got, I rolled five plus 12, so that's 17, and I'm going to roll another d12, which is a 10. Whoa! So 27 total. Yeesh! 27 total, my goodness! Damn, Davey! That's a bleepy moment! Davey! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Damn, Davey!

You told me back on the day! One more time, you did how much? Sorry. 27. 27. Good lordy, lordy, look who's 40. Not HP, I just said that, because I don't know why. He growls and tries to slash at Davy, but he can't do it. And so Davy comes back to your shoulder

and nuzzles into your hair. Thanks, good boy. Would you like to do anything else with your turn, my friend? I'll stay. She'll stay. Right where I am. She's going to stay. She'll stay. Right where I am. She's going to stay. So now it's the bad, bad tree boy's turn.

Mm-hmm. And this little piggy ain't none too happy with you. So he is going to ka-dunk, ka-dunk. They can move! They can sure move. Mm-mm. But he can't get all the way up

to our dear beloved Ramsay. That said, he does release, uh-oh, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, six glowing orbs from the orifices of his trunky body. Oh no! Oh no, I thought the orifices of his trunky body. Oh no! Oh no, I thought the orbs were you. And off they go to you! And they are going to attack you!

Whoa, he just pooed! He just pooed. He just pooed. Beautiful golden light. And these orbs are all going to try to attack you. Let's go, let's go. So let's see how they do. Okay. There's six of them.

Okay, I just die right now. I'm here for it. But after we, two. Eight. These are totals I'm putting together? Yep. Two, that was two plus six plus six. Okay. Plus two.

12 plus one. Plus one, plus two. Plus 19, 19, 19, 19. 19. How much shield you got? Okay. Did you see it? I got 15 shield. Okay. My shield's down. So your shield's down and you took four hit points of damage.

And then four hit points of damage. Okay. Oh boy, we got some trouble y'all. That tree's a beefy boy. So that's what he's going to do. This little guy is going to pop out of his hiding place. Uh-oh. What? A-ka-dunk, a-ka-dunk.

Oh gosh! Use your words! On lovely Killbot. No! No! I'm afraid so! And is going to attack you with one of his stumpy little branches. We're going to see if he hits. He do hit.

He do indeed hit. For a grand total of 10. Oh! But that's still your- That's a lot. That's a lot, ain't it? Yeah. But your shield's still up, yeah? Well, yeah, but still.

Mm-hmm. What did I ever do to you, shrubby? Yeah, they're really not a fan of people even just existing in the same space as them. It's pretty unreasonable, if I have to say. I'm on your side as the Bunker Master, you know what I mean? Then this guy comes out.

A dude, a dude. Jeez. A dude. Same big boy. And he's going to do the same blue orb thing, but lucky for you guys, it's not going to all attack the same person this time. So he is going to attack first. Oh jeez. Killbot for, let's see if he hits, though.

How can you tell if he hit? He does hit, but not that much. Does one damage to Yaa. All right. Then he's going to go after our man, Meta. It's all that droll. And does hit for a grand total of seven. Oh, okay.

You just scratching the surface. Then after our fellow, Sandy. Oh, okay. Come on, Kovac. You've got a good share of trigger silence. For a grand total of seven. Okay, sure. And he's actually got a few.

He's going to save the next three and just keep those in the pocket so there are three orbs still floating around him. And then this guy's going to pop out. He can't do shit, honestly. So he's going to watch and go, Yeah! He's very excited.

That is their turn. And now is the turn of the rest of the team. What would you all like to do? We are grouped up too closely, and I'm going to break cover! And I'm going to take off running five squares down the map. Hadunk, hadunk.

Here? Yes. Great. And I am going to open fire with my combat rifle on this gentleman. This fella right here? Yeah, that weed. That's an eight plus 10, so. Yes, it hit three times plus 10, so.

Yes, it hit three times. Ooh, lovely. Three shots from the combat. Roll it. Amazing. Oh wow, that's good. Seven, five, 12, and five. 17. 17, very nice.

And then what else, do you. And then what else? Do you want to do anything else? I don't. Over here! The! So you do that damage, and you're going to stay over here? Yeah.

Okay, great. All right. Who's next? That's when I pull out my turtle slapper rocket launcher and I aim at the big fella right there and I go, you done made a mistake. This guy right here? Yeah. As I aim down, I imagine myself much younger

at the Atlas Military Boarding School as I pointed my rifle as I was getting hit with bamboo sticks. Oh wow. And Headmaster Gruber. Whoa! Gruber. McGruber. Headmaster, everyone picture that.

Headmaster McGruber? Hits me. Hits me. Good job, Professor. Hits me with the bamboo sticks and says, we only do this to make you better. And I sneer as I get angry, thinking about the abuse I endured

before I was able to escape that hell. And I pull the trigger. And you get a plus one to your roll. All right, that is going to be, that's going to balance out to be, mm. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. Mm, yeah, because my accuracy

is plus one, but I get minus one from the mod, so I only get minus, so 13. So that means I get to? Roll a one guy, huh? Yeah, roll one guy. A d12. D12 plus five. See how you do! All right.

Yeah, that's going to be a 13. I love it. A 13. Oh, and then the little guy who's next to him takes half of that for the splash damage. Ooh! You know we love to see it. Oh.

Splash zone. Splash zone! Okay, great. Is that all you would like to do? No, I think I'm going to up the mayhem and do an extra attack. Yeah! Oh, that's a mayhem point for you, girlishly. You got the mayhem with that one.

Okay, great. That one is much less. That is going to be three, so I still roll one, so it's still decent. Okay. Yeah, because it's only one for both, except if I get 16. Unless then it's a crit. Yeah. Ooh, and that's 12 plus five.

You know what that is. Were you doing this to big boy? Or to little guy? Big boy again, 17 to his face, but little guy takes half of that. Oh my goodness. Little something for everybody. Little Groobar! That was a hell of a turn, I must say.

Okay, great, now all we have left is Sandy and Kilbot. Who would like to go? I'll go, I'll go. Do those little floaty sphere doo-doos in the sky? He's got three. He's got three of them. Do they look like they're ethereal corporeal? Does it look like I can shoot them?

I say yeah! Okay. All right, then I'm going to use two spaces of movements, do a little quick dash and duck. I'm going to get behind our Mad Meadow over here, and I'm going to take a shot at one of the orbs with the kernel. Right here?

Yep. The kernel? On the other left side. This guy? Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, yeah, it's a little pistol. I'm going to take a shot at one of the orbs itself. And that is a natural 20.

Oh my, lanta! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're ready for the math. Oh yeah, so that's three d4s. And then? And one d12. One d12. Plus another one. Yeah, you get an extra crit. Well, that is the one you get, because you don't get any crits.

Oh yeah! It's only one. Oh yes. Oh yeah, boo-boo, boo-boo. You don't get any crits. One. Oh yeah! Oh yes. Oh yeah, boo boo, boo boo. You don't get any crits because you're dead. One! One! Oh! Two!

Really making the best. You're doing your damage modifier, right? Yes, so one, one, two, four, six, and then the 12 is a seven, 13. And you were aiming at just the one orb? Just the one orb, yeah. Okay, I'm going to say with that, you explode one and this ricochet of its

corporeal particles hits the other one and it goes. And there's one left? And there's one left. Well, that's just perfect because I'm going to use my weapon special ability and use an extra attack, but you don't get a mayhem point for it. Sorry. Second shot, but before I do that,

I'm going to do a little duck and roll and I'm going to get behind Killbot. I'm using my teammates' cover. Sure. Ooh, that's a three. So I only get one little rollski. Let's see how you do. That would be a one plus two is three.

You hit it, but it fizzles and doesn't go out. So he's still got one in the chamber. Mm. Mm-hmm. Must be crouched down. Behind Killbot. Behind Killbot. Behind Killpro.

I love it. You know what? You can call me anything you want. I can be Killbot, Killpro, Z21, V2, whatever you want to say. Sweet, sweet. And I'm ducking back and forth between the two sides of her hips.

Trying to move. While you do that, I'm going to move. I'm going to... But wait! He took my cover! I'm just going to say, Sorry, bud, and duck and roll the other direction. Yeah.

Here? All the way over, yeah. To there, that looks good. Okay. And am I three squares away from the big butt that Meta was? One, two, three. Well, the one that Meta was aiming at. I want to try to take that thing out. Unfortunately, he's a bit... Well, at least three squares away from the big bat that Meta was. One, two, three. Well, the one that Meta was aiming at. Oh, that you. I want to try to take that thing out. One, two, three.

Unfortunately, he's a bit. Well, at least three squares away. Oh, at least, yes, yes, yes, yes. All right, cool. Then I'm going to shout over Meta's shoulder, The customers have been complaining about you! Oh, wow. That was fucking stupid. I'm sorry. Oh, my god.

Oh, that's great. You know, that was a 26 to hit. The customers have been complaining, says the gun. Aw, buddy, I missed you. I will do my best, Mother, it says. Good job, kiddo. How'd you do? That was, well, 26 to hit.

So I will roll two d12s. So that's five plus, let's see, five plus seven, right? Five plus seven, I think. Okay, I think I get that right. Uh-huh, and another five plus seven. Okay. I think I got that right. Uh-huh. And another fight plus seven. 44. Okay.

Coo-coo-coo-coo! Your shot splits the tree in half. Choo-choo! And its two halves fall to the ground, lifeless. Whoa! He did, baby! Yeah! Got one!

Got one! Good turn, guys! Good turn! Now we're back. Trimsy. Oh ho ho! Boy, oh boy, I got to get my head in the game! All right, I'm going to pull out my head-sploder,

and I'm going to take aim, but I'm going to back up a little bit to make sure that I'm three or more squares away from the damage rolls. Those damage rolls were super duper high, way higher than they were supposed to be. Let's say that you still killed it, but the splinters shot you a little bit,

and you take d6 of damage. Oh shit. I didn't read your shield. She cussed up. Oh shit. I took of damage. Oh shit. I didn't read your shield. She comes up. I took a one. Oh, great. All right. Okay, you're going to back up? I'm going to back up.

Where'd you like to back up? Just a little bit, so I'm three squares or more away from. Okay, we'll put you here, how about? Okay. Okay. I'm going to pull out my beautiful gold-plated, sniper rifle. Beautiful.

It's getting sexual. With a bayonet on the end that's nice and long. And I'm going to take aim, and I'm going to shoot this tree right in front of me. Davey looks at it with some jealousy, which suggests that there's maybe a love triangle that's only in his mind. Fantastic. Well, maybe not just in his mind.

He's spent a lot of time alone. All right. So I'm going to roll. Which one do I want to do? Let's go with this one. You know what I'll choose from. Okay. Let's go. Okay, okay, okay.

So that's a... All right. Okay. So that means I get, uh, okay. So, that means I get to roll a ten. I get to roll a ten. Where's my ten? There it is. Yep.

Okay. So, we got one of those, and we got one of those, and we're going to put them together, and we're going to roll. Here we go. I love it. Okay. So, we got a ten. Uh-huh. And we got one of those, and we got one of those, and we're going to put them together, and we're going to roll. Here we go. I love it. Okay, so we got a 10. We got a seven. We got 17. Okay. On your big, beautiful, golden, shafted gun? Yes, and I just give her a tender kiss.

Just a tender, open-mouthed kiss. Okay. Oh, here we go. Davey's kiss. Okay. Ah! Oh, here we go. Davy's unhappy. Kaboosh! Oh, favorites. You're playing favorites. Pew, pew! I think that means that you get a couple crits.

Don't you? You got a 17? I got a 17. Yeah, did you? On your head-sploder? Wait, I rolled a 12 and I rolled a 10, because I rolled over 16, so I rolled a one. Oh, that was for your damage. Oh, that was for your damage? Yes, that was for my damage.

17, sorry, 17 damage. Did you roll a d20? I rolled a, I did roll a d20. Which one was it? This one, right? 18. Yes. Okay, yes. 18 plus a die. So you're in the right category.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so 17 damage. 17 damage to this big boy. Plus an extra d12. But I did roll a d12. No, no, no. She already did the d12. No, that's right. Yeah, I already did the d12. You only get the extra one if you roll a crit. Got it, got it, got it. Okay, lastly. I know the rules

very well to this game, please. You're a pisser! You know me. I know how to play these games so well. So you hit him, and he lunges, but he's still up. So is there anything else you want to do? Yes. What would you like to do?

I'm going to chuck a grenade in his mouth. You're going to chuck? Do you have grenades? I don't think you have grenades, Ramsey. Let me have a check. Where's my ship? Get out of here. Ship, spaceship. Where's the spaceship? Spaceship, I meant. Where'd I put the data?

Davy looks confused, the tree looks confused. They're just watching you do this. God dang it! I left my whole bag of grenades at the freaking tavern. Now, you could make another attack, but I will get a mayhem point out of it. I'm going to, you know what I mean?

I'm going to get my high point back. I'm going to, I'm going to. What is this? I need more time to just. Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get my hand point back. I'm going to, I'm going to. What is this? I'm going to take a chance. Okay, I'm going to. I am going to do something else. I'm going to take another attack. Who cares?

No! My hand! She gets a mayhem point for your mama. Okay. She gets a mayhem point. That was a good roll, but landed later. Ooh, that was bad. Three. Three plus, that doesn't quite hit. Nada, you get nothing. Your beautiful gold gun clicks.

Tiffany. You bitch. You bitch, you doing this to me again? No one would really think that a gun could look sad, and yet somehow, if you were to look at Headsploder right now, a sheen, almost as if a tear. Yeah, you cry, you cry. You doing this again?

The tree is somehow more disturbed. He's a moving, sentient tree, and yet this is wackier to him than being a moving sentient tree. Don't you pass your judgments over here! Okay, so that did not work, but you did do some good damage. Okay, that's my turn.

To Big Boy Jones here. I'm going to stay, I'm going to stay. Excellent job. Now the bad boys cometh. And boy, do they cometh. Oh boy. Not like that! Get your heads out of the gutter. Get him!

Oh, yeah, it was. So Mr. Stumpy Number One is going to try to lay the smack down on Meta, and he is going to do so just a little bit like this. He's got a heavy hit, even though he's a little guy. He's got a heavy hit, although he's a little guy. He's going to take one of his stumpy limbs, ha-ta-ta, and try to hit you with it.

Smack-o. He does smack-o, and he does seven damage. You're going to try harder than that. What is your shield at now, my friend? It's only at 11. You are beefy. Okay, great. Should have hid behind me.

And then, this guy's going to get up. Oh man. You sure about that? T14. T14. It's going to summon the same spell. This is what happens when you let me on your wonderful program.

Yay! Program! So it shudders, almost as if getting the vibes of the gun crying off of it, and then six orbs. Another six? Oh, jeez! Come out of its spindly limbs, and they're going to split the damage between Ah, come on!

All right! You two lovely ladies. So we're going to see what hits. First to Ramsey. Where is that thing? This is that thing! A-ta! Five damage. Killbot.

Four damage. Killbot. Four damage. Ow, whoa! Back to Ramsey. Six damage. Ooh boy! One, two, three, four. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Ooh, eight damage. Me? Yeah.

Aw, jeez! Back to Nancy! Yes, I'm doing that good. Three damage. Ooh! Yeah. Ooh, boy. Another one on me? Okay, six damage.

Another? On you. Is that where you're at? Where you at? I mean, not too great, if I'm being honest. Reminder that y'all got potions. Yes, I realize that the last turn. Good thing you took one on your turn.

No, I looked down and I realized that was one of the free actions, and that's what I should have done instead. You're living your life! So that's Big Tree Boy's turn. And it was quite a turn, unfortunately. But now the rest of you get to go. So who would like to go?

I would like to volunteer. Can I run five spaces towards the embattled Gramsie and Kill Pro Z21 V2? Right now? Actually, I'll back up one space. You'll back up one space. I am going to deploy my Scorpio turret. Whoa!

And I will take, it will fire on the nearest closest enemy, which would be the large gentleman with the six orbs. That's very true. And I roll to hit. What? What'd you get? Oh, a natural one. Ooh, baby, I'd hate that for you.

I get a mayhem point, unfortunately, because of that. And I'm going to go ahead and spend one. Okay. Just for fun. Let's see what we got. Big fun book full of big fun bad things. Let's see how I'm going to screw you guys over. We only wanted to make it to the first map, right?

We wanted to die that first time. Yeah, this is what you guys wanted. We're still fighting trees, bro. Yeah, yeah, we're not doing good. I know. Okay, actually, it's kind good. I know. Okay, actually, it's kind of in your favor. Oh!

Out of seemingly nowhere, a tree right here, kooka-boom, lights on fire as if the hand of god struck it. That's my hand. And it bursts into flame, and now we're on a timer. Oh! Oh, oh! Because everything around you is wood.

Right. Oh! So. We got to go. It's lit, and the fire begins to spread. Oh, what? And if these bad boys are dead, or you're out of here, in five turns, everyone's fine.

Okay. Five turns. It's fine. Okay. Five turns. It's already been one. Five turns from now? Five turns after this one's over. Okay, we got that, no problem. No problem. I can do the math. All right, all right.

Okay. You got a plan? I got a plan? Okay, you go first. So I walk over to my friend Ramsey, put my hand over his shoulder and was like, you looked real cool earlier with the gun, the first time, not the time that you were here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not the same time.

Not the same time, it wasn't entirely my fault. But you seem to have been reaching for something and couldn't get your hand off. So why don't I hand you one of these? And while I reach in and grab my grenade and hand it. I get a man point off of that, baby. You get a man point. I do, I do. While I'm handing the grenade, I get a mayhem point off of that. You get a mayhem point. While I'm handing the grenade,

I'm not even looking at the tree and I'm just shooting it with my turrets. Yeah! Nice! Nice, nice. Kind of badass. I think it is kind of badass. Kind of badass, actually.

So you're doing a no-look shoot at the tree. While I'm handing the grenade. As you're handing this thing. Okay, let's roll this badassass Die, see what happens. Oh wait, actually, before that, I should say, does anyone want to sacrifice their turn and help him? I will. Your turn already went, unfortunately.

Basically, Sandy or Killbot can sacrifice their turn to support in this endeavor, or you can keep it. And be a selfish bitch. Or you can, you know, whatever you want to do. All right, sure. I'm going to help out. Okay, you're adding? I'm adding, I'm going to, well, you know, he's doing that.

I'm right in front of him while he's doing that, because I'm right next to Ramsey. So I'm just going to use my calculating mind here, and I'm going to move his arm exactly to the place that's going to get the best shot to do the most damage onto that tree. I love that. You're both going to roll Badass Die,

which you have the big boys right in front of you. Let's go. Also, Kelbot, you heal six, because you're right next to this here turret. Oh, that's great! Which is great. Oh my gosh. Think you do, eh? How long does it stay? Until the armor is depleted. What we get natural 20.

Yeah! It's so badass! Holy god almighty. Well, this guy fucking just dies. Sorry. Yeah, you get out of here! Freaking just dies. We're going to use you for a campfire tonight. Just kaboom.

And actually, the force of your badassery creates a gust of wind with a little bit of dew in it that extinguishes the fire. That's how cool it was. Yes. We're no longer on a timetable. You just got two little stumpies. Mega up there. You get four badass tokens a timetable. You just got two little stumpies. Mega badass. You get four badass tokens and you get two.

Dang! Woo! Beautiful, badass work, my friends. Sandy, it's up to you. Okay, well, this is going to cost me. I'm going to swap my weapons out. I'm going to... Ooh, a mayhem point for me?

Yeah, I'm going to give it away. For little me? That's for you. I'm going to holster the kernel and pop out flint and steel. And one thing that I failed to mention was that the poor Sandy lost a limb in a previous engagement. That's right! He has a bionic leg.

So what he's going to do, he's going to drop into a runner's stance and you see a little energy crackling off that back foot. He's going to use his maximum speed to cut in between Meta and the tree. As he runs, he's going to take a shotgun blast at this guy. Oh! Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love it. Okay. How'd we do? Not great. Okay. How'd we do? Not great. Okay. So I only get one d8 plus two. Did you succeed? Yeah, I got one. Yeah, I got a, where'd it go? You rolled over. Oh yeah.

It was like a four. That's two to seven. Oh, plus! You have to add your accuracy. I don't have any. Not with a shotty. Yeah, not with a shotty. It's a four, so I only get one roll. And I rolled a four plus two, six damage. Six damage, oh you know, it's not nothing.

Okay. It ain't nothing. It ain't great though. I know it ain't great. And I'm gonna keep sprinting the rest of my distance to be in front of the other six. So you did six, right, sorry. Six, that should put me right up against the other one. You're going to go, yeah? Uh-huh.

And I'm going to expend another mayhem point and give to you and take a second attack on this one. You did my birthday? It is. That was a bad move and it's not paying off at all. Retribution or failure. What happened over there? Great.

15, so I get two, seven, plus two, nine, and eight, plus two, 19 points of damage with a shotty. Oh my goodness. No, no, wait, wait, stop! I'm mixing up my other thing! No, incorrect. Wrong? Absolutely wrong, nine.

Nine. Nine. It's only two on this one. Okay, got it. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage to Tiny over there. Yes. Got it. Okay, great. That's it.

And that's all y'all, right? We're back to our beloved Ramsey. Hey! Well, do I get anything because I'm near the turret? You have to be adjacent to it, and then it would heal you. So if you wanted to end your turn there, you would get some healing.

Okay, so what I'm going to do, from where I'm at, I'm going to take a shot at one of the tinies. Okay. All right, can you? Yes. Can I? One, two, three, yeah, you can. Okay. Yeah.

Wait, that's not you. That's me. This is you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a shot at the tiny. I'm going to pull Tiffany out again. You put her away? I put her on my back. Uh-huh. Because I just didn't want to look at her anymore.

So I'm going to take her back out. Uh-huh. And I'm going to take another shot. Let's see it. Come on, Tiffany. Come on, Tiffany. 10. 10's not bad.

10's not bad. Well, does it hit? 10? Does 10 hit? Wait, it's on my card? 10 does hit. You get to roll one. I understand how to play this game. You get to roll 1d10.

I get to roll 1d10 is what that is. I know this. That's not a 10? Nope. Nine points of damage. Pretty good. All right, she's back. She's back. My girl is back. Your girl's back. She just needed some negative reinforcement.

She did, she did. Negative reinforcement. She needed to be put in her place. Yeah, she did. And then she shot. It rang out clear. Nine points of damage. Love it. Now it's the bad boy's turn. Wait, wait, no! Oh, I'm so sorry!

That's right, what would you like to do? I'm going to take a potion. What potion are to do? I'm going to take a potion. What potion are you taking? I'm going to take a common health potion, which regen's 1d8 health. Regen. I love it. Because I'm at one hit point. And if you end next to the turret,

you'll get plus six as well. Would you like to do that? Dang. That's a one. Okay, would you like to end next to the turret? Yes, I would. Okay, great. Then you'll get plus six. Okay, so seven. Not boosh-abble.

Eight, you're at eight, because you had one. Did you use a calculator for that? Eh. I carried the one. There's no going to carry. Okay, now it's the bad points turn. You're so smart. Unfortunately, you guys gave me too many mayhem points.

Oh no! Oh no. We don't know what that means! Because now I can spend two. No! And the big, bad dad's going to roll. No! Hearing all the commotion. Sell down right here. Oh!

Papa Bear's here. Thank god we put that fire out. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, so first we'll do little stumpers. He's got a real vendetta with our palmetto, so he's just going to go for it. And remembering the aura of his expired father, he's going to and pop out three orbs.

Zoom, zoom, zoom. And they're all going to go for you. Do your worst. Oh, I love it. So first one is a natural target. Darn! Which means I get a 3d damage. You literally did your worst.

And I'm also going to get double d-d-d-damage. Jeez. Can I just say how much greatness it would be if we all died fighting these trees? Yeah. Okay, big thing. Four. Just on the holdout map. Six.

16 damage. All right. You've broken my shield. Congratulations. We're in the real now. Yeah. So that's Stempo's turn. Stempo number two, coming for you.

I'm sorry. He hears that. He creaks to the side, and for a second you think, maybe, just maybe, an affinity, a connection. Friend? He comes close to you. Friend!

Three orbs appear around his head. No! It was a lie! Infinity was a lie! And he gets a natural one. Oh! Oh! So his attack, zoom, zoom, zoom, all of a sudden, the orbs just coalesce into one and poof, out of existence.

Bye. He's demoralized. Bye! He goes, and does nothing else. That's his turn. Do we get a meta pinpoint? Yeah. Well, if someone wants to do something badass, so you can. I do. Now Big Bad Daddy's coming in.

Oh, nay. And who does he want to attack? I think he sees that his beloved son has made a bit of an impact on meta, and he's going to clomp, clomp, clomp over to you. These trees are smart. So predictable. He's going to create, wouldn't you know it,

six orbs of energy. But he's going to spread the love around, guys. Look, he's an equal opportunity asshole, so. Can I say that? Can I say that? Can I say that? I added in a hole, I don't know. And he's going to attack.

First, he's going to attack you for two. Or twice, I should say. He fails. So he just doesn't get to attack you anymore. Then he's going to go for Sandy. Natural 20. Hey! Four. to go for Sandy. Natural 20. Hey! Hi, Newark.

Four. He's going to go again. And so five damage to you. And then he's going to go for you twice. And he fails. So that's that. It's my beauty. And a booty. And that is their turn. You do the booty.

So now the floor is open to all you lovely folk. Who would like to go next? I sling my bazooka around my back and look at that small little tree and go, this is about time I get a little hands-on, and then I start punching at this tree. So you're going to do a melee attack. I'm doing a melee attack.

Very fun. Oh man. I'm going to, I'm one shy from 16, so I'm going to spend one of my bad-ass tokens to get 16 to add a damage die. Because my melee, because I'm a big old dude. Just to lose. I get a bonus 1d6 to my melee, so if I roll 2d10s,

then I get a d6 on top of that. Okay. Woo! Mm-hmm. We'll see what you got, middlet. Beautiful. on top of that. Okay. Woo! Mm-hmm. Let's see what you got, mida. All right, that's going to be, all right, about 15. It's 15. Honestly, I love the approximation.

I love it. I can't do math. The moment the camera's turned on my math. Did you add your damage modifier to that, my friend? Oh, 20 with my damage modifier. You were trying to say that your damage modifier was 20. So it's 20. Yeah, yeah.

Ooh, Stumpy is not doing so good. Oh, that's even better, because I'm... Your punch, your last punch, just clocks a hole right in his freaking dome. He's woozy, if a tree could be woozy. He's still standing, but he doesn't look very good. Is that Big Daddy or Little Stumpo? That's Little Stumpo right here.

Would you like to do anything else with your turn? Oh yeah, I'll give you another mayhem to keep punching this kid. Okay. All right. Finish him off. How many mayhems do you have now? That's for me to know.

Oh man, we should be keep trying this. All right, well, yeah, that's normal damage. That's fine, I don't need it. How much damage did you do? I'm about to let you know right now. Excellent. 14. In front of his father,

this small child is cleaved in two by the pure force of your fists. Oh my gosh. He's dead. Nope. Nope. And that is the end of young Stumpy's life. Good bye, Stumpy. Good riddance. Well done.

Who's next? I would like to rotate the turret so it is facing towards the large gentleman. It blocks all damage from the front if you are behind the turret, and it will open fire. Should've said that one turn ago. I really should've. Really?

Really should've done something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is happening? What did you get? It's a five, but I really feel like I should be hitting it. Okay, that's 10 plus 11. 11 plus 19 points of damage.

That's good! And I will give you a mayhem point as I run towards the tree, and I'm going to climb his branches, like that archival film of my favorite action hero, so that's just a lot, and put my combat rifle into his face and unleash a barrage.

That sounds to me, kind of badass That sounds to me kind of badass. It might be kind of badass. I think we got a badass move on our hands, people. Does anyone want to assist in this badass move? Or is it a solo venture? I mean, it's cool if it's a solo venture. It's your time to shine, baby. All right, here we go. Okay, here we go.

14 plus 16. Oh, I know what that does. No modifiers. Oh, no mod what that does. No modifiers. Oh, no modifiers, so just 14. Just 14. That's great. I still hit three times. No, no, no. I have to decide if you do. Oh.

And you do! I do! And you do! And you do! 12, five, 12 plus five, 17. 17, very good. And make sure you give yourself. It's 12. Five. 12 plus five, 17. 17, very good. And make sure you give yourself. Oh, plus four?

Yeah, plus four for the rifle, which is actually plus eight, so. 17, eight, 25! Woo, that's very good. Extremely good. And you get four badass tokens for the pleasure. Wow. You do. Four? Whoa! You do! Four BM tokens.

Glorious. Sandy, Killbot, who would like to go next? Yeah. Sure, you know what? I'm going to just brace my lively little baby eagle here. It's not a baby, it's quite a yard. I am the baby mother. You're doing great.

Did you take damage, by the way, my friend? At any point? No. Okay, you're good then. I was going to say you could heal because you're next to the... But I've never taken damage. Oh! I think I see a flex.

Sounds like I'm doing the angles. I'm so sorry. Your baby, you're pointing your baby. Aim at the big one. At the big one. Yeah. I'm going to just try to shoot it. Let's try to shoot it. I love it. I just missed the...

That's good. Were you aiming for the treasure? Shh, shh, shh. I still rolled high. Kill Probe. I rolled 24, so that means I get two d12s here. Oh boy! Oh!

I missed again. That's good, though. That's good. That's 11 plus three. Okay, pretty good. He's still standing, but you know, for how much longer, who knows? I guess you'll have to find out.

Great. Sandy! Wait, reaction! Oh, I'm so sorry! Yes, she likes to do that. You know what? I'm by the turret. I healed so much, I'm not even going to take my potion.

I'm great. Oh, good, okay, great. I love it. Sandy? Yes. I am going to, I am still transfixed with my little stump friend. And I am going to kneel down next to him.

Uh-huh. He's demoralized also, I think. I'm going to pull my hay sugar out of my pocket and just crack it right in front of him and take a little sip to give myself a plus two on talk checks for an hour. Okay, okay. I like where this is going.

There we go. I like where this is going. You seem to be having a drink with the tree. I don't understand this approach. What would you like to say to this poor, demoralized soul? Yeah, yeah. With my plus three talk, I'm going to say, hey, listen, buddy, thank you for not beating me up

last time, but this isn't going good for you. You think you could just, like, you could go. You could go, I promise I won't shoot you with the shotgun if you go. Do you want to go? You could go, I promise I won't shoot you with the shotgun if you go. Do you want to go? You want to go, buddy? That sounds really specific. Oh no!

Yes! But maybe if you roll a d20, we'll find out if that convinced me. I really want this for both of us right now. It's pretty cocked. Cocked. But it's not bad. Okay. Much better.

18 plus two from my sugar, plus three from my talk pot of fire, that's a 23. Go on now. He reaches out a creaky branch and touches your cheek. No! I wish you were my father. Then he starts waddling away.

I'm going to go, go on now, get! I'm going to throw pebbles at him. You get out of here! Go on, get! He starts waddling into the forest. Go on, get! Don't you come back! Most people in this story

have had a difficult family life! Then he disappears into the forest. I never liked you! Well done. My parentsrets are still buried. Beautiful work. Okay, top of the round, Ramsay. Oh, hello. I'm afraid to say that our beautiful turret goes away.

Oh no. It's been two turns. Why, why? It's been two turns. Only out for two turns. I'm going for two turns. I read the sheet and I left that part out. He's hoping he could benefit from my ignorance. Did I take damage that last round?

Mm. I got one out. No, I can't remember. I don't. Eh, we'll figure it out. I don't think you did. I think you're going to generate some shield, if that's what you're asking. All right, you know what?

I'm going to pull Tiffany back around. Come on, Tiff. Come on, Tiff. Take a shot at Big Daddy. Okay, let's take a shot at Big Daddy. Let's do this one. Catch you. 19. Oh! 24. Okay, so that's going to do this. Okay, so we're going to do a 10.

And then we're going to do a 12. Nice and round. Not very good. That is a total of four. Four? You know what? I love it. Between a 12 and a 10. Die. Whoa.

And you heal five points. I do? Yeah. Because you're still next to the turrets. Oh, the turrets. Well, my shield. But your shield regenerates for five. My shield regenerates for five. My shield does regenerate for five.

Okay. Even though it completely went down? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Join it. Okay, that is. Would you like to do anything else? By the way, with the rest of your turn.

Okay. I'm going to take an extra attack at him. You're giving me so much mayhem! I'm going to give you more mayhem. I get a mayhem. Go ahead. I'm going to take another attack. You're going to rely on me. Because we're all in trouble. I got a lot of mayhem. Go ahead. I'm going to take another turn. You're going to roll a lot of mayhem. Because we're going to roll a lot of mayhem.

Ooh, that's a 19 again, so. Stay puffed, Marshmallow Man. It's going to drop now. Exactly, yeah. All right, come on. You're going to give me a good... I like that it makes you pay for your selfishness. You know, how greedy you are early on.

11 points of damage. Coo-coo-coo! Yeah! The tree splinters. And groans out. Tell my son. Come on. Come on. What do you want me to tell him? I loved him.

Coo-coo-coo! And disappears into just two lifeless logs. Lifeless logs? Lifeless logs. You won! Ta-da! Yay! Barely!

But you just gave me so much mayhem. Doesn't matter, that was super fun! That I'm going to consult my handy-dandy table. It's got a bunch of post-it notes in it, you guys. There is a lot of post-its in there. And I'm going to spend, what's fair? Oh gosh. Three to be able to pick the one that I want.

Oh. What does Ashley want to do today? Everyone clear your minds. Don't think about anything. It's the first thing I thought of. The choice has been made. No, no! I didn't choose anything!

Did you ever choose anything? Okay. I just couldn't help it. I decided. Popped in. Oh god. The leaves clear. Oh no. Okay. That sounds nice. Oh, he's back.

How dare you? And the beautiful child that you sent away pokes his head out. Don't you dare! But he has something for you. And his tiny little branch fingers. What? He slides this to you and then disappears again.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Do that. I'm passing it to you! Hey, kid, hey, kid, hey, baby branch. Your dad. My dad? Yes, he said that he loves you. Where is he?

He's never said he loved me before. He hasn't? Where is he? Because I'd like to hug him. This is the first time in my entire life he's ever told me he loves me. We're in the clear. Uh-oh. He is currently...

Yeah, wasn't he just here? Yeah, he was. I don't know where he is. Hold on, I got it. But he went to the, where did he go? He went to the Grand Tree. The Grand Tree. Oh, headquarters. The Grand Tree headquarters. It was the headquarters.

The Grand Tree headquarters. Yeah, the headquarters. The Grand Tree headquarters. Yeah, because he got called away. Yeah. Right when we were, he was about to kill us, too, and your dad's so strong. The GTQ. So strong. My dad was about to kill you, and then he got called to the Grand Tree headquarters by who? By the GTQ.

By the Grand Tree. From the Grand Tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Ramsey needs to make a talk rule because he started this, and then you guys can support by adding half of whatever you roll. Okay. I need to make a talk check.

Natural one. That's a 0.5, you can die. And half of seven for you. So we're really good. 3.5. 3.6. 16. Oh! 16! Okay.

He went on to the Grand Tree, what is it again, headquarters? He went to go talk to the Grand Tree. Uh-huh. And he's on an important mish. So if I go to the Grand Tree headquarters, my dad will be there! He told us to say,

you got to stay here, hold down the tree fort. You got to stay here and be safe. You got to protect this area. You are head tree now. Don't kill anyone, though. I'm head tree now? Yeah, but don't kill anyone. I'm head tree now!

But I need you to hear the other thing I'm saying. I didn't hear the other thing you said! I'm head tree now! And he runs into the forest. Okay, we got to go. We got to go. So who knows what's going to happen next? That is a dead tree. That is a dead tree.

It's going to be a power struggle. Did we just gaslight a tree? Yeah, you did it! Yay! Wonderful job. You may have totally scarred a child, but I mean, who's keeping track? It's a tree child.

It's fine. It's fine. Teaching them young. It's life. Life is hard. He's still alive. Goodbye. Goodbye. It'll be fine. I keep hitting the mic. I'm very sorry. Great job, guys. Thanks. So good.

So as you continue through the forest, you know, the same gloomy, all the gloomy business is still there, but you enter a clearing and you hear the sort of arguing of what sounds like a very big man and a very tiny guy. And you're not sure what you're running into,

but it doesn't seem dangerous. Would you like to keep going? Do you want to check it out before you enter? Yeah, yeah, keep going. Through the bush. Okay, give me a search check, whoever would like to. 10. I would like to join that search. Nice.

You are looking directly at a leaf and going, I don't see anything. No, I don't a leaf and going, I don't see anything. No, I don't want help. How'd you do? I rolled an eight. Okay, you're also looking at a different leaf and going, He's right, I don't see anything. You know we should do it just out of solidarity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just better check.

16. Well, what are we doing? We're all just peeking above each other's heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doop, doop, doop. Very Scooby-Doo. What kind of leaf is this? It's poison oak. Sumac.

It's sumac. We should not keep our limbs covered. Dewey is the only one that understands that trees are trees and that clearings are clearings, and he pokes his head around the tree and sees a large buff man next to a fire with a downed blimp behind him. And on the other side of the fire is a tiny toaster-like robot with one eye

who is just yakking this poor buff boy's head off. He's telling jokes, he's trying to ask him what his favorite foods are, and the buff guy looks like he's having the worst night of his life. They don't seem particularly armed or ready to pounce or anything. So approaching might not be a deadly decision

if you so wish to do so. Hey, huddle up. I noticed that through the clearing, there is a gentleman, very roided out, you can tell, and then he's next to a fire with a small robot, but they don't seem to be armed, so we could just go around, or we could send in perhaps one of us, one...

I start watering out. Oh. Hello there! How are y'all doing? I'd be a lot better if it wasn't for this ding-ding robot. Hello, adventurer, he says and zips right up to you. Would you like to hear a joke? Sure.

Would you like me to take care of this bot for you? Please. Please take care of this bot for you? Please. Please take care of this bot for me! I'm going to pull out my sword. Oh boy! He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe not that. Maybe not like that, maybe not like that.

I thought you meant take him somewhere so I didn't have to listen to him for a bit. I can do that, too. Of course. I just scoop up the toaster and start walking back into the forest. Bye, toaster. Jesus up the toaster and start walking back into the forest. Bye, toaster. I just escaped the toaster.

So this little guy sees the rest of you and goes, Hello, adventurers, my name is Claptrap. It's very nice to meet all of you. I would like to tell you a joke. Would you like to hear it? Yeah, I'd love to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, I'd love to hear it. Yeah, yeah. What's brown and sticky?

He looks at all of you with his eye in turn. He's really watching your expressions. I'm trying so hard not to say the answer that I know. What's brown and sticky? He looks right at Meta. I don't know! Why don't you tell me? Why don't you roll a talk check?

That is a six plus two, eight. You fail. Whatever you're trying to keep back, you blech. It's a stick, it's a stick, ain't it? It's a you blech. It's a stick, it's a stick, ain't it? It's a stick, huh? It's a stick, it's a stick. And I know because it's something we used to say back at Atlas Military School right before classes. Whatever.

It is a stick. He seems a little demoralized that you knew the punchline to his joke. And the big guy comes to the branches and goes, I feel bad for voicing this guy on you. Name's Torg. Nice to meet you. What brings you all around this way?

We're actually on a mission. We're trying to locate a person of interest, a POI. What sort of person of interest? The illustrious Queen. The Queen? And they both go, ding! And Claptrap's little antenna goes, bing! It's very clear that they've been

looking for the same person. Torik says, we've been looking for the queen for days, but our damn blimp crashed and we haven't been able to go after her. Not your blimp. Yes, my blimp! That blimp there! That's terrible.

Perhaps we could be of assistance. I think maybe Dewey and I could check that out for you if you're interested. Of course. Y'all be careful. It's like they say, blimping ain't easy. Claptrap, his eye goes and zeroes in on you, and he feels like he's found, for the first time in his life, a kindred spirit.

And he swivels himself away from Killbot's arms and goes up to you. Say it again. Well, I said, you know what it's like, they say. And I pick him up. Blimp and Haney's. Ka-dunk, the front of his little robot body opens and inside you see,

I thought this would be harder, two grenades. Yes! He got more grenades! Yes! Killing it! Let's go! As I walk over to the blimp with Dewey here, I'm going to snatch one of the pens out of his Pauper Protector.

And I'm surprisingly stoked about this. I'm excited. I am as well. Yeah. Come on, man. I mean, you and I, we could get this thing going pretty quick, right? Most definitely.

But between the two of us, this thing should be right as rain in no time. Well, let's go. Torb sidles up behind you and goes, Look, gentlemen, I appreciate you don't have to get the blimp ready to fly again, but all of our supplies are locked up in it somewhere. So if you could get it open, I'd really appreciate it.

Yeah, are the locks mechanical, or is there an AI on board? How's this thing work? Well, Claptrap was supposed to be our AI, but as you can see, in the background, you hear him go, Blimp, it ain't easy! Blimp, it ain't easy! Blifid ain't easy!

He's not much of an AI, so it's mechanical. Yeah, we can handle it. Easy peasy. We can do it, yeah. I actually have a, you know, I'm kind of useful at opening doors. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Trio. That's it, come on. Well, yeah, I'm just going to bust out my little baby. Your little what? Hello, yeah. Yeah. Trio. That's it, come on. Well, yeah, I'm just going to bust out my little baby.

Your little what? Hello, Mother. Can you open this door for us, hon? I can shoot at it, if that's what you'd like. Well, I think my door, my gun is supposed to help me open doors, yes. And by doing so, I will open the door. Great. I should have led with that.

Yeah, that's wonderful. That's a great idea. Less of a badass. Bang. And the door swings open, and out of it, . What is that? A gun pops out. Whoa! That's not a gun.

That's an arm cannon. Clank-a-clank-a-clank. Fish out. What is that's not a gun, that's an arm cannon! Clank a clank a clank. Fush-ya. What is that? Yeah, what is that? Sword-splosion is what it's called. Whoa! Can I look at these names?

Sure. Oh, wow. Here, Sandy. Thank you. I mean, Kill Pro got that open, no problem. Spaceship. Now you guys have to, I forgot it was Tor. You have to decide who's going to get it. I mean, it seems like she should get it

because she opened it, but like. She found that she opened the door. I know all you wanted it, but there was only just the one thing, so. I mean, I only got the one gun. Wait, wait, wait, you have a whole blimp of one gun? I just want to make sure this is a one-gun blimp. Are you just giving us your gun at this point?

Yeah, this is my gun. I mean, I can see, hold on, hold on. And then Torg kind of, Torg's so big. Because. Because blimpin' ain't easy. That's right. Torg, here's what you're saying, though. He clunks around in the back and...

I'm going to make you say that. Yeah. He has one more of these. He says, I have this kind of vial. I didn't know what it ever did, but I kept it around. I don't know if you guys are into this weird thing. I ain't judging, but it looks weird. And he presents it to you guys are into this sort of weird thing. I ain't judging, you know, but it looks weird. And he presents it to you and it's a vial.

Ooh! And in it is a weird liquid. It sloshes around. It seems like at sometimes weirdly thick and at other times very, very watery, and it keeps changing color. And you actually don't know if it's safe to drink, but it is a sealed container.

Did you incur any damage when your blimp crashed? A little, and he shows you the tiniest scratch you've ever seen on his bicep. It's literally nothing. It burns. It hurts. Does anybody have any first aid

that they can render to Toric? Maybe you can put a leaf on it or something? He grabs a leaf and sticks it, and then it falls off. It didn't work. Yeah, I don't know what I was trying to do with that. But I really appreciate the effort. Sometimes they have healing properties. I don't know. I'm not a healer.

Davy offers one of his feathers. Oh yeah! And to be fair, it's pretty gross. It's like molting and like not very, it doesn't seem very sanitary, but Torg's too polite to decline, so he takes it and kind of awkwardly puts it on his cut and it adheres, which he was bummed about.

He was hoping it would just slide off like a leaf, but now he's got maybe a diseased feather on his open wound. That's an infection right there. It'll help. I've done it before, and it gets worse before it gets better. Ramsey, are you putting weird feathers on your body? Well, yes.

All right. You know I'm not going to judge you. You know I'm not going to judge you. You know I don't like to judge. He says, I'm so grateful to you all. I've known you for such a short time, but you've done so much for us already. I can't tell if I feel emotional because poisons enter in my body

or because I feel so moved by your actions, but I want to tell you this. It really seems like if anyone could find the queen, it's you all. So I'll tell you where I think she probably was headed. She would probably have gone to cure the curse to the Immortal Woods, to seek out Vitality Grove. She's the only person that could cure the curse.

And that's the only place where she could cure it. So if the queen was going to be anywhere, that's where she'd be. Just to confirm, we are currently in the forest of Being Eaten Alive by Trees. That's right. But you think she was headed to the Immortal Woods in the Vitality Grove? That's correct.

You have to go through the forest of Being Eaten by Trees. You take a right through the forest of Eden, eaten by trees. You take a right at the forest of mostly bad, but sometimes okay mishaps. Then you take a left at the Lake of Mediocrity and then straight on to the Immortal Woods. That damn lake. Yeah, you know.

But there's actually a shortcut if you just go left right now, you could probably get to the other one. Yeah, you know. But there's actually a shortcut if you just go left right now, you could probably get to the little white spirit house. Yeah, no. All right. And the handsome sorcerer's probably somewhere around here, too, I'm going to guess. If you're looking for the queen,

I'm sure the handsome sorcerer ain't far behind. Oh, that's right, I forgot about that. Now get out of here, because this voice is hurting your behemoth's throat. Stop talking! Okay. We'll be on our way, I suppose. Thank you again for the boomstick and... And for the potion.

Yeah. I'll never forget you, adventurer! I'll never forget you, too. I wish you were my dad! Oh, I hate you. They all have daddy issues in this. There's a lot of daddy issues, it's so weird. Parental support here. Hey, Dewey, what are you packing

besides that turret, by the way? I have a combat rifle, I call it the Mind Flayer, and it's actually quite an able weapon. All right. Wait, I'm confused about something. You, your name is Mateo, but you're going by Sandy. Yeah, sometimes.

It's just a nickname or? Oh, no, it's just a nickname I got. Like, on my deployment, it was a desert environment, you know, and my last name's Sandoval. It's half a nickname, but I don't really like the other half. Oh, that's right, your last name, that makes sense. Yeah's half a nickname, but I don't really like the other half. Oh, that's right. Your last name, that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the other half. So they called you Sandy because you were in sand? It's like we were in sand, but it's also my last name, Sandoval. It's like a play on your last name. Yeah, yeah, but then I was also into anime and stuff. Tell me more. But they thought I was- Anime is now canon.

But they also, I didn't like the right animes, so they called me a filthy casual, and the sand was dirty, so they called me Sandy Casual, was my full nickname. Oh, Sandy Casual. I don't like the second half, but the first half's pretty cool. You kept the first half.

Yeah. I mean, honestly, there were way more direct insults. That was a reach of an insult. You got friends and it's, I have a very complicated, rich backstory with my friends. You notice as you've been talking that Claptrap's eye has singled onto you and he was like,

I never liked the right anime either. Will you both be my dads? Yeah. And with that, you decide that maybe it's time to mosey out of this particular area and head to Vitality Grove. And with that, we'll take a break. Oh! The Vitality Grove are coming! Huzzah!

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Speaking of which, let's get back to the story. Welcome back, everyone. We had a break. We refueled, and now we are ready, I think. Yes. To venture to Vitality Grove. Woo! I have a question, DM.

Yeah? Does our shield regenerate in between combat? Lots of yes! All right. Could you decipher any of that? Yeah. Okay, great. I heard it, because I think I broke a glass somewhere in this building.

Like fully? Fully back up and running? Oh yeah. No question, just take it. Your shield. No, that scares me more than anything else. Your shield is regenerated, but our health isn't fully regenerated.

Yes. But your shield's back, baby. Shield's back. Just kidding, everything is fully regenerated. That is the kind of BM I am. Yeah. Y'all are back to a hundy pink. Woo! Great, reliable BM. I did some work on him.

Which you're going to need, because as you venture into Vitality Grove, it gets spookier. I'm talking mad spooky. Like, spookier than you ever thought possible. I'm a bit scared. The trees are decayed. Everywhere you look, dark, dank, spooky.

You know, just imagine everything that's good and rejuvenating has been sucked from the land. It's not a great place to be. You don't feel good to be here. As you approach, the tree's clear. And what you have to be. Just like that? Just like that? Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Just a minute. As I boot up. Whoa! Let's go! It's to be lush and vibrant. Whoa! We're dead and decaying. What the fuck? Whoa!

Did you make this? I made it with my own two hands. I didn't make it. People here made it, and they're wonderful. Thank you for making it. Oh my goodness, I want to eat those skewers. Is that a pretzel circle? Oh, it sure is.

Oh, look at all our people. Thank you, Nox, for making this beautiful map. Should we put these up? Yes, let's see, yes. Please do. We just took a nap. You guys stand at the base of this tree, the Tree of Life, which in a normal day,

when the curse isn't plaguing the lands, it would look vibrant and beautiful and welcoming, but right now it's spooky as hell. I mean, look at it, it's spooky. And surrounding it are several pillars. Ominous. Lights glowing above it, ominous. It just all seems quite ominous,

if we're being honest with ourselves. As you approach, you see a figure at the base of the stairs. A familiar figure, strangely. I like it. It's Mr. Torgue. Torgue? What? We just saw him. Yeah.

How did he get here so fast? Yeah. Before us, I say as if I'm one of you. I feel that I am. We just saw him! Yeah! How did he get here so fast? Before us, I say as if I'm one of you, I feel that I am, Mr. Tork stands at the base of the stairs, but there's something a little off about him. The jovial demeanor that he had has diminished and he looks pale and strange.

He says, Stand back, friends, while I do a kick-ass spell! And then he goes, and he does some guitar. Air guitar? Air guitar. It's a solo that lasts too long, frankly. You guys are waiting. You're waiting. You're like,

Okay, we got stuff to do. We're here to save the queen. He finishes, and in a unearthly voice, like if a demon was mixing with his voice, he says, God of the old magics, give me the strength to undo the horrible curse that was cast by the handsome, intelligent, and super awesome sorcerer.

Lots of compliments to this guy. Don't know why. And then he chants and he chants, and all of a sudden, the green lights on top of these pillars turn orange. Oh! Oh no! Could it be more ominous?

Yes! It could. I mean, no! No! It cannot! What I meant. All of a sudden, Torg's face, his facade. Yeah, say melts. Say it.

Melts! It melts away. Get it away! It melts away, revealing what can only be the Handsome Sorcerer. Oh, to reveal an even more handsome man. Yeah, is it like an ironic nickname? Or is it like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he's genuinely kind of hot. You're like, oh, this is unfortunate. Oh, really? He's definitely evil. He's got handsome features and a bod with a six pack and all the smash, or what? Is he shirtless? Is he a shirtless sorcerer? Now he is, yes.

Actually, he has, you know, he's got one of those vests that's cut just so you can see. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. See if he can get out. Yeah, do it. I like it. He's like, I was scared. Now I'm a little bit turned on.

That's how he gets you. Which sometimes those things, I can get those confused. Oh, really? Really? It's a weird thing for me. I don't tend to have emotion, but no, he's hot. He sees that you guys are all admiring the abs and he likes it, you know?

This is the effect he wanted to have. He feels like this is going really well. First the face melting, and now the ab reveal. He feels great. Was it him the whole time? It was him the whole time! Plot twist! Yeah.

But he gave us an awesome weapon. He wanted it to be a challenge. Because now he laughs and he disappears in a puff of smoke. Because you ain't fighting him right now. What? You're going to fight! A da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. From the pillar.

Ooh, I love this. Nope. From the pillar, I can't reach any of this. Where? Put, you know, use your discretion. Put them amongst. Like this? Yeah. Oh, the little stand came on.

Five Skeletor boys. Right there, I like that one on a stab. Looks like they're doing a musical number. Do you like them where they are? La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I love them where they are. I'm so happy. It's great.

Oh wait, I have a whole box for this, guys. Is that five littles in one bag? A little peek behind the curtain. I'm very short. Look what we got. Hey! A quarter apple? What quarter apple for your gal? A quarter apple.

A quarter apple. Can you believe how tall I am now? Whoa! Whoa! It's movie magic. It's movie magic. It's movie magic. So from the pillar emerges a skeleton king,

followed by five Skeletor Baddows. So from the pillar emerges a skeleton king, followed by five Skeletor Bados. Oh. And they come with y'all. So I think it's time to roll initiative. Oh. Just like that. Just like that. Come on, I got stuff rolling this way. Okay. You're doing all right over here.

Exactly. Doing okay. Where did all of my sheets go, is the question. I don't know. I need a new one. I rolled a five. I need a new page here. You rolled a five.

Oh yeah. Did you hear that? She rolled a five. What did you roll? I rolled a 16 plus four, dirty 20. Whoa. Ooh, dirty 20. Sandy. I rolled a dirty plus four, dirty 20. Whoa! Ooh, dirty 20! Sandy! I rolled a dirty 20, too!

Let's go! Dirty birdie! Dirty birdie! Dirty and Ramsey! I rolled a 21. Yeah! Woo! Let's go! I rolled a nine.

Me and you, me and you, Amanda. Our bad boy goes first. And then. He is the skeleton king. Everyone else. Yeah. Skeleton King man goes first, and then everyone else, and then Laura, and then the skeletons. Got it. Oh.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So I'm in the group with everyone. You are in the group with everyone, yes. Great. Great. Skeleton King, everybody else. Skeleton King. Batty's. Killmonger. Okay. No, no, no, no.

Our Skeleton King. All of us. Batty. Batty's. Batty's. Our Skeleton King, he's a scary guy, and he doesn't really like the cut of, well, actually, why don't you guys place yourselves, in fact, where you like, on Zibit.

Get me on that ass. Where do you want to go? I'm going to go on your left. I'm going to go on my left. Yeah! You're a big target, man. Yeah, well, Meta seems to have offered himself as tribute, so our dear sweet king is going to target you first.

I gave you the idea. The hot thing. So he's going to move. Damn, these short little legs of mine. He's going to move there, and he is going to bring his maceaxe down over his head and onto you, my dude. We're going to see the hits. Do you work maceaxe?

Maceaxe, max. He's max. Okay. It's see the hits. Mace, axe. Mace, axe, max. Okay. He's max. It's not the best. I got to tell you, it's not the best. For you? Like, for you or for her? No, for our good pal, Meta. If you get splattered.

Please don't. If you get your attack. He does seven damage to you and he knocks you back four squares. Oh! Does that mean you take fall damage? Ooh, I think it does actually,

because you made a point of being on that pillar. So go ahead and take a d4 of fall damage as well. Oosh. Is he getting knocked prone or is he laying it on his feet? He's laying it on his feet because he's a cool guy, but he is going to take a d4 of damage. D4, so you want me to do it myself, see what I...

Yeah, let's see what the fates give you. Yeah. All right. I'll beat your ass if you do. Damn! Sorry, I'm just all over the place here. All right, team, it's up to y'all. What would you like to do? The snacks on this table are making me hungry.

I know, I want to eat some of this stuff. Don't do it, don't do it. I would not recommend eating those because they're covered in shellac. No, I know. But you know, if you get desperate. Let's use this new sword, splosh it! Combat rifle that is ours.

Do what it do, do it. I'm going to click clack and take a shot at the Skeleton King. Okay. Roll a hit. That's a 15. 15 hits were two hits. D8.

Okay, oh good golly, miss Molly. That's not... Eight points and 10. So 18 points of damage. You see that your attacks hit, but they fizzle out against something. It seems like this douder has a shield. God, body armor. There was splash on those attacks, and so anybody within-

There was. So you did 18 on our guy, our main man? And I think there are one, two, three that might be within one or two squares of him. And that's a halfsies. A halfsies, so a niner. A niner. To three of them, the front three. Our front three guys.

To Glammo. Okay, great. All right, who would like to go next? I will. I dust myself off. I remember how dirty I was after I finally left the military. Oh, good lord.

It was a hard decision to make because the military was only my family, my only family, of course, before I met my estranged sisters, really, so this is me alone. I think to get another point for this or some sort of buff, I'm going to need to get a tidbit from the email

that your sister sent. So my sister got in contact with me. At first, I came armed. I thought she was a spy because my sister, my family abandoned me. Yeah, how are you supposed to know? P-mail, because it's Pandora. Yeah, sure. P-mail.

So I set it up and I went ahead and I did the oculocartography of the area to make sure that it was completely safe. I stepped up, walked in with my big old bazooka, pointed it right at her face. At the email's face? No, right at my, this is after the email, when we met. Oh, you met.

Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, please continue. I had it in her face, but the email that first said, Pay mail. Derek, it's me, your sister, Delinda. Yolinda or Delinda? Delinda. Delinda, okay. Derek and Delinda. You might not think that I'm still alive, but I am.

And I have some news for you about our family. I need you to meet me at a far-off bar in a far-off place, and I can't wait to see your face. I just knew I had to hop on the next ship over there. I'm going to give you a plus one for the reveal that your name is actually Derek. Yeah! And not Meta.

It can't be just like that. Meta And not Meta. Yeah, just like that. Meta was the assumed name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Meta was the name. Well, keep watching to find out. Okay, so you get a plus one to your next roll. All right, so I get my, go ahead and get the turtle slapper, point it at the skeleton king.

Fucking move. But then angle it past the skeleton king and fire right at the tree. At the Tree of Life? At the Tree of Life. Interesting! We're going to murder the Tree of Life. We're getting next level here on the tactic. Okay, go ahead and roll.

All right, that was an eight. Which will hit, right? Yeah, that's a hit. Yeah, yeah, plus five, that's true, so that's going to be more of a 13. Uh-huh. So let me, where's your card go? Is it over here? Did you put it in your pocket?

Yeah, I think it fell. All right, okay, yeah, so it's going to be still a d12 plus... I love these cards. Yeah, these are nice. They're nice, right? Mm-hmm. Plus a weapon. Sweet detail. I like how I said that like I made them. They're nice, right? They're nice, right?

Thanks. That's 10. 10 damage? 10 damage. So you shoot past the skeleton king. It whizzes by and hits the Tree of Life, and the bullet doesn't seem to be able to penetrate the trunk, but the tree does oscillate in this way

that suggests that there's something almost sentient inside of it and it did not appreciate being shot at. But you don't see any damage or anything occur to the tree. But it doesn't seem like it's inherently of the same kind of, it isn't made of the same stuff as these guys. It's separate, but it doesn't like being shot at.

This much you know. That's outside the box. Would you like to do anything else with your turn? Yes. I'm going to run over to my kill mommy. Friends, who would like to go next? I'm going to pull out that purpley weird liquid

that I got. Oh, love it. Guzzle it. Okay. Ooh. I don't know how I'm going to open up a little compartment on my chest and just pour it on in, because I don't actually have a mouth. That's right. Okay, so you're pouring it on in, and we're't actually have a mouth. That's right. Okay, so you're pouring it on in,

and we're going to do a little rolly poo. Yeah! Rolly poo! So I roll a d20 plus 10. Nope, that's the wrong accent. A d20 plus 10? There it is. That's right. Uh-huh.

Are you eight? Trench. Whoa! Line dice! Does it count if it flies out? I'm going to? Trench. Whoa! Hot dice. Doesn't count if it flies out. Hot dice. I'm going to deliberately roll it. That's a 24. Whoa! Let's see what a 24 gets ya, huh?

See, it's so infectious. Girl, you too sexy. You're really alluring to the skeleton closest to you. It's a real, like, he turns over his shoulder and you turn over your shoulder. Would you like to demonstrate? Oh lord.

I know what's happening over here. Hypnotism. And like, there's a saxophone playing and all of a sudden he sees hearts around you. On my computer screen face, you just see little hearts start appearing and floating around, around my...

And he thought that he was lifeless. You know, he's just skeleton bones made sentient. And yet when he looks at you, it almost feels like he has a heart. And if you choose to talk to the skeleton, you're going to get a plus five. Oh man. On that there check. All right. Come on.

Does the talking count as an action? Can I still attack if I talk to it? You can still attack if you talk to it. All right, I'm going to tell him, hey, honey. Huh? You look like you could, I don't know. Huh?

Yeah, how about you do me a favor and start attacking that guy right behind you? Okay. And he turns around and takes a swipe at the skeleton king. Come on. Because he's so in love with Killbot Mommy. And I'm going to drop down my sniper rifle

and I'm going to take a shot at the same time to try to get through right as he swings his sword. Maybe the shield will glitch a little bit and I can get through. I love it. So our skeleton boy that is madly in love is going to roll, and he's going to make,

that was a pretty good hit, if we're honest. Okay, so he did his bit. And I rolled a 25 to hit. Ooh! Oh, yeah, yeah, 25 to hit. Dang. Quite good. So. How far are you? I'm over three squares away,

so I think I get that, yeah. That's great. So four plus, 14 total. 14 total, okay, great. Let's see here. Very well done. Would you like to do anything else with your turn? I think that's everything.

Okay, great. Grateful. His everything. Beep, beep, beep. Okay, great. Grateful. His shield is still up, you can tell. Not for that. But you know, you're making Dunstan up. Grateful. Slow but steady wins the race. We got an ally.

Plus you get an axe in your face, as they say. They say that, right? Yep. Who would like to go next? I'll go. If I use my max speed, can I get behind this little pillow here and take cover? You're a pretty speedy boy, so I'm going to say yes.

I'm going to say yes. I'll just. We can imagine it, right? I'll fall off. I'm taking cover here. Yes. And I'm going to pull out the kernel and I'm going to take two shots at the skeleton

the furthest away from me, directly adjacent. That guy over there. This guy over here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's teetering over? Yes. Okay, great. All right. Take your shot. Oh, I got a roll for Damien. You roll that first.

It's... Give you a cut. Yeah, I get a cut. Worse. Duh! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. That's an eight, but eight is a threshold, so that's two rolls. ooh, that's an eight, but eight is a threshold, so that's two rolls. One, that's fine.

Two, one, three, plus two, so five damage. I'm gonna aim at his little kneecaps and try to take him out from his little weak kneecaps. You smash one of those kneecaps out, and he falls, but he's still kicking. Sure is a good thing I got a free extra attack with this weapon. Sure is! So I'm going to aim for the other kneecap!

That's better. 16, which is also the threshold, which means I get three, two, five. Wait, but it's times two. Two, five. I'm not going to mess this up again. Nine, six, 11. 14.

17. Plus two, four. 19. 19. 19 points of damage on the ninja. You obliterate him. Let's go! He's shattered. Oh, can I reach him? Can I reach him? Ah!

Okay, there we go. You got it. Yeah! You got it. And then I'll post it up, trying to stay in cover with my little pistol. I love it. Okay, he's down. One Skeletor down. Well done. Where exactly are you taking cover from there?

I'm meant to be on the other side. I can't get there, though. I'm going to teeter off. Are you going to do it for me? You think you can do it? I believe in you. Yeah. Oh! Okay, okay, okay.

I didn't think he'd stay. Travis, also, just so you know, I'm sorry, not to cut you off, you get to fire a sword from your gun, just so you know. I'm sorry? That does 2d6 upon impact. Wow.

So I'm going to let you know that. And then, Ramsey? All right. It does say source of pollution. I'm going to move myself up against that pole so my back is up against it. Would someone with longer limbs mind helping me with that?

This one? Yep. Where you going? Yep, back up against that pole. Right here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoot me right up there. Shaboom. Take some cover. And I'm going to take out. Because I can take as many potions as I want

as a free action, I guess. You can. Okay, so I'm going to start off. I'm going to take out my delicious Killuae. Take out the top. Killuae? Drinky Drinkies. Killuae. I Outs attack. Drinky drinkies. I get a plus two damage on range attack for the rest of the encounter. Yeah. So that's pretty cool.

Pretty good. And then I'm going to take out my grenade. Oh! Pull the ring and toss it behind me so it lands right behind the skeleton king and makes just a nice little, hopefully... Omelet? Yeah. Skeleton omelet. Skeleton omelet.

The finest of the omelets. Okay, so it's 1d8. Oh boy! Okay, so it's eight. That's a big number. 1d8 damage to target and all the targets around it. So not just splash, but a full-on damage. Full blowsies. Dang! Okay, so these two Skeletors

that you guys hit before are donezo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want to bring them into my loving hands. Goodbye, my child. That was my boyfriend. Your boyfriend's dead, I'm sorry to say. It's a forbidden love, you know what I mean? All right, I'm freeing myself up

for that handsome sorcerer. And then. Look, we saved the tree. We do a little bit of damage to this guy. We do a little bit of damage to this guy. Is that potential? And then you did eight to our skeleton king friend as well, right? Yes.

Great. And then. Oh. It was supposed to be menacing. Menacing! Menacing! Okay, great. I love it.

Would you like to do anything else with your turn? I would. I am going to now take out Tiffany and I'm going to take some shots at my boy, SK. So see what you got, Tiffany. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Let's do this one. Okay, okay, okay.

All right, all right, all right, all right. Mathematic 20. Oh! Oh my lord! Woo, all right. That's a maddie 20. Oh! Oh my lord! Woo! Natural 20! Let's go. Okay. Okay, so I get a 12 for that. And then a 10 for that.

Couple of crits. Okay, let's start with this guy. Nope. Wow. Ooh! Okay. F. Five. Wait, do I roll this again, or I do-do-do-do-do-do? You do two d12s. Five-butcher modifier. Okay, so five, five, eight.

You have six. Oh, plus this. So because I took this, so this is an extra plus two. Uh-huh. So. Eight. Seven, eight. So eight points to start. And a 12. A full 12. A full 12! So, eight points to start. And a 12. A full 12. A full 12! Eight plus 12, so you got 20 damage already?

Yeah. Oh, wow. Let's go hit it. And another one! Wow! Yeah! I was so close to the other! I feel like this is the most damage you've ever rolled in any game I've ever played. I think it is.

Okay! I think it is. There's some statistician out there who's got to know. Well, suffice it to say that the shield is gone. Yes! Fight on! 32 points is damage. I give Tiffany a big wet kiss again. My baby's back! Took it back behind,

and get back behind the pole again. I love it. Make sure I'm... Okay, great. Who else has some, has anyone else behind the pole again. I love it. Make sure I'm okay. Okay, great. Who else has some, has anyone else not gone? Gone, gone, gone. Everyone's gone, right? Okay. Are we all gone?

Here we go. Skeletons. The bad dones. Here they come. They're going to move. Ugh, ugh! Oh wait, I have my little guy.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I have such little reach. Okay. Hey, and as he rounds the corner, does he see you guys? No, I don't think so. Oh god! He did! Cut all this out! Cut all this out!

Do you want to try over here? Right here, do not go over there. He does. I'm very professional. Comedy of errors. There is line of sight on Mateo. There is line of sight on our guy there. And maybe, maybe on Ramsey.

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and use one of the mayhem points y'all gave me. Oh, okay. That's right. I, I'm going to go ahead and use one of the mayhem points y'all gave me. Okay, we got so many. I wish I had many. Many, many, many. And I am going to leap to kill Bot Mommy. Right here.

Huh? You're closer. No! Yeah. And I'm going to slash you twice. Me? I'm going to slash you twice. I'm sorry to say. I'm going to slash you twice. Me? I'm going to slash you twice. I'm sorry to say.

I'm going to slash you twice. And I'm going to do a total of 13 damage to you. Jeez. Zoinks! 13 damage. All right. And that's his turn. And can I reach this boy? Yeah. Okay.

He's going to do the same thing. I'm going to spend another mayhem point. To leap toward Robot Mama. Double. Dang, double trouble? Double trouble. I have two murder. How far does the leap go? All the way down?

Yeah. They're angry at me for seducing their friend there. 19 damage. Whoa! Oh, shnikes! Where you at? Okay, hold on, hold on. I got to do my math here.

So that brings me to 20, and you did 19, so that... No! No, no, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. 19, so seven, I'm at three hit points left. Shield down, three health. Three health total. That is the skeleton's turn,

and now the skeleton king goes, unfortunately. So, what does our skeleton king want to do? He is going to move forward, surprising no one. A dunk. Okay. Where are y'all hiding? Y'all running corner? I'm creeping right behind that pillow. Ha-dunk. Go back. Where are y'all hiding?

Y'all running a corner? I'm creeping right behind that pillow. Y'all run, okay. Just not seeing any of him. Come on, Fyfeville. Ha-dunk. Oh, that didn't happen. The Tree of Life! The tree!

You just tell us where you want him to go. He's good there. Okay. That's going to stay there. It didn't even happen. Nope. What he is talking about. The Tree roars in pain. And he is going to put his arms in the air and do a little chant in his breath.

Zoom! And you see a barrier appear in front of him once more. In front of our big, bad skeleton king. Barrier in front. And that is his turn. Okay, okay. Who would like to go next? Just in front of him.

After that attack, Killbot starts to spark and fritz a little bit, that attack, Killbot starts to spark and fritz a little bit, and her screen is going to go totally black and start to reboot up again. Kill Pro Defense Mode online. I'm going to activate Deception. Oh!

And bamf out. What? So you're going to see a secondary Kill Pro do like, and flim. All the way over here. Just kidding, I can only get about here. But there's a second Kill Pro right here. Okay, great. So the real you is over there. The real, yeah. And's a second kill pro right here. Okay, great. So the real you is over there.

The real, yeah. And then Decepto is right there. Okay, great. Is that what you would like to do? That's my, oh, and I'm going to take, oh, just kidding, and I'm going to take a health potion. Great. Heal pro.

He's on heal pro. Four points regenerated. Here's your little Decepticon. If someone could put that there for me, thank you so much. Oh, nice. Whoa. Woo, yeah! Nice! The second Kill Pro, I would say, would have gone to Mirmi,

so to make it extra confusing as to which one is the real one. I love it. Great. So what I'm going to use is the Torque Splash grenade right in between SK and the two skeletons, so you can get this 1d8 splash damage. Okay, great. Right over here. Let me blow you up.

So you're targeting the skeleton king? Targeting the middle so the splash can go. Well, I guess, yeah. You got to target one of the bad boys. So which one would you like to target? Skeleton King, let him feel my fury. And so that, I rolled a three, so three damage. And then half to the other boys?

Well, full, because the Torg splash grenade. Oh, it's a grenade, of course. Great. And then I move behind SK. Uh-huh. And right point blank, I shoot my turtle slapper to the back of his head. And I say,

let me give you something to think about. Oh shit. Let's give him something to think about. How about guns? So that's going to be a... . What did you roll? Oh, nine plus five, 14.

Okay, great. So you get to roll one of your hit die, which is a d12. D12, great. So you get to roll one of your hit die, which is a d12. D12, yes. And roll that d12. Ooh! For a 12. Ooh! And plus five on that. So 17 at the back of the head.

And that is also splash damage, and that is halved to the skellies. So 17 was the full, yeah? Yeah. Well, this little Skeletor went to the graveyard. Okay, this one right here. That didn't happen. Yeah, he went to the graveyard. That's upsetting. If I could trouble you. Thank you. Very small. Yeah, he went to the graveyard.

If I could trouble you. Thank you. Very small. And this one is still kicking, but you did do some damage to him. And then I menacingly pull out my legendary Tina potion and goes, you ain't ready for what happens next. That's a really hard drink.

Dang! That's a big, hard drink. That's a big, hard drink! That's a chonky drink. I'll let you know, d20 plus 10 for my bomb-ass effect. So that's 12, so 22. Haterade.

Anyone who drinks this makes everyone around them so mad that they got to beat the puss out of them for at least, that's written. They got to beat the puss out of them for at least half an hour. So all of the enemies are going to attack them. Puss! It's puss for sure. It's puss.

It is? It's puss for sure. Beat the puss out? Puss! It's beat the, it's pus. It is? It's pus for sure. Beat the pus out? Pus, it's beat the pus out. I'm a spirit, I'm a spirit. It's pus. He's gone. He's gone.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's beat the pus. You're absolutely right, it's totally beat the pus out. Well, no, but isn't it sour pus? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Just put up a lemon up there. Look, you guys, when you tell me I can't say things, it just makes me want to say the more. I'm really sorry.

Oh no. The pus out of him. So now we're going to fight against, you guys aren't, but the enemies are going to target you now. Oh, please. I made a mistake. Oh god.

Okay. That's your turn. Who's next? In my body. Yeah. Who'd like to go next? Let me do my tank duties, I guess. Is that a reaction to his anger immediate? Like, do I see that the Skeleton King is pissed off at our buddy right away?

Yes. Okay. I'm going to use my quick speed and I'm going to dash right in between the two of them and give a little wink to my boy Dewey over here. Then I pull out this little disc and I pop it on the ground and the saber turret pops up. Oh!

Would you like to play with him? Yeah, yeah. Right in between them, I'm going to be a tank barrier for my tank. Even tanks deserve a little protection, right? So nice! We do, we do! And here's the question, does it, that's my action, does it start to take its attack as well

when it's first placed? Yes. Okay, cool. Then that would be 1d8 per hit. And there's my number. I see it. Let's do it. Come on, let's do good. Come on. Fuck.

I said my first one! That was my first one, always! Gosh darn it. That would be four hits, and I get one d8 per hit. It's a lot. Yeah. That is a lot. Cool. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Two, six, 10, 18. Nice. Yes! 18 points of damage. As your turret explodes bullets through the skeleton king's body, his corporeal form starts to turn into mist, except that his head Oh no.

somehow seems to lift off of his body Uh-oh. Uh-uh. and begins, yoink, to float around you. What is this? Can I do it? Nope, I ruined everything. He's there. I'm falling down the stairs.

This thing is floating around where? Where the skeleton king was, so right in front of Sandy. Okay. He says something quite menacing, like, you think you can defeat me then? He's like, He's just a floating head?

Just a floating head. Did you throw it in his eyes? The turret, upon being assaulted by this head, a little LED screen pops up on front and just makes an offensive gesture. That's quite rude, the head says. And taunts the head. And taunts the head.

So that should be, the attacks should go toward him. I don't know if that offsets his anger or not. I don't know. Oh, I think that does. I think it does indeed. Cool. Move here. Okay, great. Who else is up?

I will read my man's moves and I will start to shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, go, go, pop, and come hold him so that I can just see him around the corner, and I will drop the Scorpio turret. Yes! Would you like to play, Sam? Yes, please! Turret Sammy, baby! It is a turret, Sammy.

Does that mean you can't shoot each other? No, only the first enemy that it sees. And I will roll to attack with a 17 to hit. I should let you know that you get minus four accuracy to this floating head. My god. Just so you know.

That's a 13. Unless you are within two squares. I should come closer. Dying. Would I have enough? Let's see, one, two, three. I think I could get that close. I'll put him right up on the step. Okay, great.

Four, or five. Okay, great. Four or five. Okay, great. So that would be, if there's no minus four, then it was 17. Uh-huh. Which is, ooh, got four hits. Ooh! Holy moly. Okay. That's seven plus one, so that's eight.

Nine, so that's eight. Nine, so that's 15. Oh my goodness. Let's go. 15, 10, 11, so that's 26. And the last one, seven, eight. What did I say? 26? 26 plus eight, 30, two, four. 34. Four? Math is always up. Cal, two, four. Four. 34. Four, three.

Math is always up. Calculator, calculator. Carry the wine and the pie. I touch my tattoo, it flares, and the numbers all appear. Like that meme of the lady? All sort of. 34.

So you see that a barrier goes down in front of him and the shots that happen after that seem to pierce him. So it seems like he had a shield that you got past. Oh, snap. And now you're getting the meat, you know? You're getting that nice meat to shoot. The cheek meat?

The cheek meat. The cheek meat you're shooting at. And anyone within adjacent squares will heal going forward. Yeah, you place the turret in a really shitty location to try to get to for healing, I just want to point out. Yeah, such a poopy location. It also blocks everything in private. Oh, ma! Yeah.

Gah! I think it's just Ramsey and Killmonger that remain? Is that right? Kill Probe. Is it my turn? Do you want to go? Either one of you. Did I go? Did you go already? Well, I glitched. Did that count? You did glitch. That's right. You did glitch.

I forgot, I'm sorry. Okay. Can we come back around? It's all Ramsey now. It's me? I just got to see. I got to take another one of these legendary Tina-Tina potions. Fan the hammer.

I'm going to take it. Snap it. D20 plus 10. Okay. 26. Scrappy. Drinking this gives you a little sidekick who looks like a smaller version of you.

They're really irritating. They can give you an extra action every turn and they love you. Whoa! But they have one HP. Oh yeah, so okay. You or the BM control them and do their voice. Whoever wants to, what would you prefer? Okay, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it.

Okay, so what I'm going to do. Yeah, a little. I got Birdman and I got one on your shoulder. Careful, Bob. Baby, what's my name again? He's your tiny friend. Okay.

So, all right. I'm going to lean to the side of the pole so I can see Floatyface. And I'm going to take a shot. You are going to be at minus four accuracy, just so you know, because you're not close enough to him. Okay.

If you're within two spaces, right? Yes, let me get within two spaces. I'll move. If you're within two spaces, right? Yes, yeah. Let me get with this. I'll move so I can get within two spaces. Could someone move her for me? Thank you so much. You want to go around and go like, choo-choo? Probably the other way. Yeah, why not? Let's do it.

Be nice and between these. Why not? And then I do like this. Oh! Very good! That's a power strength. It's like when you're a kid and you stand between. The chairs, and then it slides and you knock a chair. Yeah, when you're a kid.

Not when you're an adult. Yeah, I never do that now. And not when you're a farm-grown adult. I do it so you can't catch yourself. Yeah. And then we're going to urge you to do it. Okay, that's good, that's good, that's good. What were you doing?

I don't know, I don't know. I'm glad you and I both seem straight. All right, let's see here. We can get one of these. You got blood on my floor. And we get one of these. That's a lot of dice. Okay, let's see what you got. Okay.

Okay. I'll plus this. 14 points of damage. To Skeleton King? To Skeleton King. Okay. And... Hey, Baby Ramsey. You want to give it a go?

Baby Ramsey. I will say, before you continue. Yes. The head explodes. Oh! Oh! I can't reach it. Okay. The head explodes. Oh! Oh! I can't reach it. The head explodes. But. There we go.

We won! One of the other pillars lights up. Oh! What do you mean? Adjacent the next pillar. So that last skeleton boy came out of this one. This one lights up. No, no, no, no!

And from the pillar comes a da-da-da-da-da-dun. No, no, no, no! And from Zapila comes... A-du-du-du-du-du-dun-dun-dun-dun! Oh no! Yeah! Oh man! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, yes. So many skeletons! Wait, this one lost a butt.

Oh, that's the butt's there. There are more Jack Skellingtons. Oh god! We are with another Skeleton King now! No! A new Skeleton King? A new Skeleton King! Similar formation. Popping up right next to Meta, because I can't move that one.

But you want to be a little bit further back by this pillar. This is it. If you could. This guy's like a knight. Here you go. Thank you. We got to work our way in, so not the same way out. Here. How about that one?

Great. Think about it like that. Great. Yeah. Got another. No, don't do it. I didn't. I didn't. There we go. Okay, great. Perfect.

What about this? Did somebody place this? Nope. I did. I did. Oh, he's too far down. He's too far up. Yeah, I didn't know the rules when I put him there. Is that good? That's great. Okay, perfect. So you got one remaining skeleton from the last skeleton king,

and now a whole bunch of other Jack Joes. And so, you know, there's one super, super beefy boy right here who looks a bit different from the rest of the skeletons. He has, if a skeleton can be buff, he is. And he has a blue sword stuck through his chest. He looks scarier than the other skeletons. And then you have another lovely king skeleton to fight.

Are you excited? So excited. Yeah. Yep. And you can finish your turn now, if you now. Okay, so. We just become best friends? Now here's the question. Does Baby Ramsey have access to my weapons?

Yes. Okay. It's basically an exact copy of you, but it has one HP and it's very small. Great, okay. So, let's... Baby Ramsey's going to take another shot at the new skeleton king.

Nunu. Nunu. Maybe we will. All right. I love it. I'm going to take out my gun. Oh, that's a good one. Oh boy. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. Okay.

That's big money. Okay. Okay. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage? For baby Ramsey. Ain't bad. Hey, good job! Good job, baby Ramsey. And that's my turn. Okay. That's my turn. Do we see Baby Ramsey. And that's my turn.

Okay. That's my turn. Do we see Baby Ramsey? Is Baby Ramsey a thing? Like, in that style, like a magical thing? Oh, you can see, yeah. All of a sudden, upon her other shoulder appears an exact replica of her that's very small and you just hate.

She's just spouting. It's like, well, would you do the voice, please? Yeah! Come here. Jump in that pool. Okay! It sounds like this! It's just a smaller version, and everything's really loud! And she's bossier.

She's telling you what to do. I'm a boss! She's telling you where to point your guns. I'll kill everybody here! Is Davy into it, though? Davy, yes. Davy's into it. Yeah, I think he is. I think he's like, this is even better.

Yeah, it's like, those are my size. Yeah. Oh, that's funny. Now we're in business. It works. Uh-oh. So funny. What's happening on your shoulders? Okay, that's my turn. Okay, great. Yeah. Now it's Skeleton King's turn.

Oh, already? Because we're at the top of the round. And there's Skeleton King's turn. Oh, already? Because we're at the top of the round. And there's Skeleton King and Blue Swordchest, right? Yes, that's precisely right. So the order remains the same? Skeleton King, a group of us, baddies, then? Then our other skeleton friends. And you're after the baddies.

No, no, no, no. You're all in the same We're in the same pod again? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So this here skeleton, Kang, where is he in relationship to you lovely folks? He's going to move forward.

I'm pretty fine. Don't wreck the set. Operation. Don't wreck the set. You can do it. Yeah. Nice. And he is within. Okay, okay, okay, okay. He is on the eye line of you, my friend, Matta.

And so he is going to fire a magical laser blast from his eyes at you. This is the king? Wait, Sylo. This is our king. Two, two. I forgot to do plus two for damage. Oh, thank you. So two more points of damage. Great. Two our king. Two, two. I forgot to do plus two for damage. Oh, thank you. So two more points of damage. Great. Two, two.

Two, two. To Skeleton Man. Okay, great. Here we go. Ooh, he does hit you. Ooh, he does hit you, though. For, I know a lot, I have to say. Do you like how I'm not at all excited about this?

We're listening to how many dice there are wrong. Yeah. 10. He hits you for 22 damage. Dang! Oh wow, okay. I'm still standing, though. I'm still standing.

Is your shield down? My shield? Yeah, no, no, my shield isn't standing. No, you're not. Oh, absolutely, absolutely, my shield is down. Most definitely. But I'm still standing. I'm still standing. Okay, so that's his turn.

And it's y'all's turn now. Who would like to go? You want to come get some healing? No, you got this. Oh, I'm sorry. That also should have knocked you back two squares. Oh, okay. That makes you even closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's better. It actually just puts you right next to the turret. God, boosh. Ah! That's how he feels. He's so faded. Are you adjacent to the turret? Oh, yes. I can't tell from my angle. Yeah. Okay, you get six health back then. All right, all right, yes. I can't tell from my angle. Yeah.

Okay, you get six health back then. All right, all right, I'm back. So that's not bad. Yeah. Let me get some even more health, because I'm going to toss my Ashen Transfusion grenade, which gives me, that gains health equal to the damage dealt. Oh, that's huge!

Throw it at that skeleton that dare hit me with his weird laser eyes. Laser eyes. You're not wrong about that. Laser eyes are weird. For four. Four damage to him? Yeah. Great. But then after that, I'm like, I've had enough of you busters.

And I go berserk, put away my guns, and break out my fists for two turns. Okay. Each turn, I gain an extra movement and ability to melee attack twice, dealing plus one melee die damage with each attack. Whoa! I regen 10 health each turn,

and I actually rush right back in, and go, and I come to this first skeleton. Okay, great. I'm going to sit down there. So for the first melee attack against the first skeleton, let's see. Let me roll on that. Oh, that is a, that is 24.

Oof! That's very good. So yeah, I guess. Melee, so you get to do 1d10 plus five. Because you hit, right? Yeah. That was your rule to hit. All right.

1d10. So I'm trimming it. Yeah. Then that's an extra die. Then you also get a damage as well. Yeah, so I get an extra damage die, so that's 2d10, plus my ability of brutality, plus a d6. Then it's going to have my-

Your fists are like bombs on the ends of your hands. It's a lot of dice. Or your arms. That's bananas. So that is going to be 16, 21 damage. To which skeleton? To the first skeleton to my right. This guy? Yeah.

He explodes. All right. Thank you. And then I swing at the other one right there. Okay. This one is going to be nine, so it's going to be normal damage, but that still is going to be...

Oh, well, it doesn't matter. It exploded anyway, but I should have rolled three die that time. Oh my god. The first time, but this time it is the same amount. All right, so this one is going to be seven, nine, plus five, 14. Dang. He also explodes.

Boosh! Kablam! I stare at the laser one and I go, Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! He's a little scared. I'm coming for you, Skelly!

Okay, who'd like to go next? I'll go next. Okay. I'm going to guzzle my dragonak. It's a potion. Lovely. Which gives me added crit. Ooh, I love that. To my ranged attacks for the rest of the encounter.

And I'm going to just remind you, if you shoot, you will reveal your position. Yes. Okay, great. I'm going to, actual me is going to jump up, so I'm adjacent to the turret. Great. So hopefully that will give me six health points back. Then decoy me is going to mirror that

and jump up to this one. I am going to, am I close enough to hit the skeleton? I think I I close enough to hit the skeleton? I think I'm close enough to hit the skeleton. That looks like eight squares. Oh yeah. Yeah. Then eight? Oh yeah. All right, I'm going to reveal my position

and narrow my... Yes, Mother. Good to see you, kiddo. And I'm going to aim at it and shoot him. But this is going to be crazy because I'm going to get that crit, well, if I hit, but this is an auto crit because I'm decloaking. Okay, uh-huh. So I don't know if I need to roll.

Well, it does definitely hit, so. So it's an auto crit, so that's 2d12. Plus another. Plus another. Plus, because I took damage, I get plus three crit for the damage that I took. Let's see what you got. So we'll do this first. Dang. Ooh.

Seven plus 11 is 18, plus five is 23, plus three more. Wow. Plus 10 is 33, plus nine is 42 points. Whoa! 42 points. Of damage to the Skeleton King.

Holy shit. Okay, to the Skeleton King. Holy shit. Okay, let me just do something. You'll flow V21, V2. Okay, so the shield goes away. Coo-coo. And a couple of your shots hit. So you've gotten past. I'm going to use the remainder of my movement.

To jump down here, so that I'm hiding behind this thing. Great, and then your decoy goes away. Yes, ma'am. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty good turn. Yes. So cool. All right, who's up? That'll be me.

I would like the turret to spin and finish down this last skeleton merc, because the turret cannot move, which is unfortunate. That is 10 plus two to hit for 12, which does, in fact, strike true. And it'll be nine plus six plus one, so that's 15,

plus 15 and six, 21, and then six and two. Ooh! Nine, that's even 30. 30 points of damage. You splinter him so crazy and so hard that a shard flies past your turret and past Meta

and goes into the tree, and the tree goes again. That's how hard you kill it. Oscillating tree. So it's dunzo. Dunzo. Would you like to do anything else? I would. I would like to use an extra attack. And give me a mayhem point?

Indeed. Don't mind if I do. Or, and I'll get just so I can see over the step, and I will use a sword-splosion shot into the skeleton king and his surrounding friends. Okay, great. And that is, not great. It's going to be 2d6 explosive damage if you hit.

I mean, I assume you hit. 2d2, I do, but it's only one hit, so 2d6 explosive damage. I'm going to grab four, three, seven points of damage. Seven points, okay. And half of that for splash to the other two. Okay, great. Okay.

He's still standing. But, you know, he's hurt, but he's still standing. Who's up? So my turret was trained in on the same skeleton as my friend's turret here. So for a minute, it has to go, and I have to see it, it goes, kind of looking for a target.

Seeking new target. Agreed, right? Yes. I have an angle on him, right? Cool, so the closest one to me happens to be the skeleton king, and the turrets going to aim in on him. And that would be... Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Yeah, no range. Oh man, that's tough. That is so tough. Oh man. Oh man. But I get plus That is so tough. Oh man. Oh man. But I get plus two, so that's a nine. Whoa, man! It's a nine, I still get four d8. That's great. Hey, that's not bad.

Six, nine, 14, 15. That's plus five. 20 damage. Much like his predecessor, his body starts to dissolve into mist, but then his head remains,

circling around, cackling, as it has escaped death. Ah. Ka-ding! Come on, man! As that pops up, the little LED screen pops up and just goes, and it just says, nice head, dork. And he's taunted. Ah!

I hate that thing! And I'll use my movement to clamber up here, take cover right over here. Stay. Did you take any healing that you needed? Stay. I have taken no damage, my friend. Wow. Wow. Unscathed.

Wouldn't say that in front of the PM like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like taunting God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, like taunting God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Who's up? I think it's just you, right? Okay, it's me. All right.

I'm going to pop up. And I'm going to pus up. And I'm going to pull out Tiff. And I'm going to take an aim at Skeleton Face. Oh, that might not have been very good. Beat the fuck up. That might not have been very good. That's okay. That's all.

Okay, well, I get to do one hit, so. Oh, boom! I know. Four points of damage for the first dumbass hit. And then... Do another, it's mayhem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that with your plus two added? That was.

Okay. So... Let's do, let's do... All right, Baby Ramsey's going to go. Hey, let me know. I love Baby Ramsey. I love Baby Ramsey, too. I can eat it out. Okay, okay. All the fun of original Ramsey, no guilt. So that's where these go. Zero calories.

These. Oh, Baby Ramsey did better, so... 16 points of damage. Okay. To that face. Baby's right there. Woo! The shield damage. Okay. To that face. Baby's right there. Zzz! Shield. Shield is down.

Ooh! Then I'm going to take an extra action to... Hey, Davey. Do you want to get in on this? Pick at his face. Let's go! All right, so. And I get a main hand point.

Ooh, that's nice. Okay. I mean, Davey's got to go. He would feel so left out if baby Ramsey got to go. Oh, yeah! There's a little family drama happening just in this corner. Yeah, there's a lot going on.

Okay, so. Ooh. There's another date. So just so you know, all of the enemies that are adjacent to this bad boy are going to be taunted to attack you after you do this. You're taunting all of these enemies. Let's go. Okay, I love that!

Oh shoot, that was such a bad roll. Okay. Five points of damage. To King Skeleton. To King Skeleton. Head. Head. To King Skeleton. To King Skeleton. Head. Head. To King Skeleton, head. He just starts picking at his eyeballs.

So all of the head and all of the heads of all the skeletons go and center on you. Then they see Davy and they see a tiny you. They're confused and they're angry and they're coming for you. All right. It is their turn. All right. Which is now.

So here they come, although they are quite slow, TBH, except for our good friend, the floating head. So this guy is going to move a lot in the direction of the sign here, but he's not close enough to do anything at the moment. And he's also going to move toward you. Boop, boop.

But he's also not close enough to do anything at the moment, but he's very angry at you. Oh! Oh god. Oh Jesus. I didn't mean to say that. And he is... I like how difficult this map is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so beautiful. And so treacherous for me, the clumsy oaf that I am. He's going to get there, and his eyes are going to flash red, and he's going to send beams, laser beams, toward you! Oh no! Does he hit? Yes! He does hit. Oh no.

Oh boy, okay. Here we go. That's going to be six plus... Eight, 10, 15 damage to you. 15 total or six plus 15? 15 total. 15 total. So does that mean Baby Ramsey's gone? Baby Ramsey's gone.

Baby Ramsey's gone. Oh no! Bye! Bye. And then, okay, so. Don't you go! One for Baby Ramsey. All right, she doesn't want. Okay, we're good. And actually, before we proceed,

I forgot you guys were so generous and you gave me so many mayhem! Oh! So thoughtful of you! Well, you know, we do what we can. So our buddy, Immortal Skeletar with the sword in his chest, is going to use a mayhem point to rush you.

Yes. And he is going to do a lot of damage. Oh no. If he hits, which he does. So he's going to do... Oop. He's going to do 21 damage to you. Ooh!

Whoa. I'm out. Oh! I'm done, Zog. Oh! Well, here. Ramsey! I'm done-zo. Oh! Ramsey! Hold on, hold on. Let me just, yeah. One, 20.

It's a 20 total with the shield. Oh! Fjell, fjell, fjell, fjell, fjell, fjell. Oh! Ramsey's out. Ramsey's out. Snap. Oh, snap. If you get healed within one turn, you can come back. Does anybody have the ability to heal?

Is she within the turret adjacent? I mean, she's two squares away. Is that too far? She has to be directly adjacent. Maybe I fall. But look, if you want to take a turn to try to drag her dead body toward the turret, I'm not going to say no. But do I fall to my death?

You can also pour a potion down her throat. Oh, that's true. You're going to fall. I cared about her that much. You're going to fall where you are. I'm not going to make potion down her throat. Oh, that's true. You're going to fall. I cared about her that much. You're going to fall where you are. I'm not going to make you tumble down. Okay, okay, okay. But you're going to kick it right where you stand.

Right where you stand. It's tough. Rough, but you have a turn. So if anyone could get to her in a turn, you can save her. Okay. He's de-expendable. Is Davy still up? Well, no, it would all be gone. I mean, Davy's still alive, but he has no...

He doesn't have anybody to tell him. He's in mourning now. Yeah, he's in mourning. He's sad now. He's going, just... Ah! If you were alive to hear it, you would think that he would be screaming at the gun. It's all your fault. It's all your fault.

So there's a whole scene happening over your corpse at the moment. I'm dead. Ashley died while you were gone. I'm dead. I'm dead. Ashley died while you were gone. I'm dead. That's what you get for going pee-pee! I'm sorry! How dare you leave the team!

I'm having flashbacks. No! You dead-dead? You have a turn to revive her. We'll see. Get her to the turret. Well, but that's such a waste of a turn. Or if you can put a potion down her gullet,

you can save her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One turn, one round of everybody? Well, no, that's just blue sword chest. The head moved. And potions are free action. So. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Does anybody have a potion left? Also a reminder that you guys have badass point,

badass tokens that you can spend. Yeah. And it doesn't have to just be for fighting. Oh my! Oh my gosh, you're right! Just sign? Oh yeah. All right. Who has yet to go? Have you yet to go?

Well, the round went over. Oh yes, that was right, the round went over. Okay, so your next round of turns, you can try to save Dearly Departed Ramsey. But right now, it is King Crono's skull's turn. And he is right next to Meta, so he... Oh, you better back up. No, wait, he just did that.

He just attacked, didn't he? No, that was the sword guy. That was Sword in the Chest. That was Sword in the Chest guy. Sword in the Chest and all the skeletons. Skeleton man, yeah. SK's at the top. Yeah, SK hasn't gone yet.

The head can still go? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay, the head's going to go. Ooh! Meda, the head's coming for you, I'm sorry to say. Because everyone else is. I mean, you're the closest. And he's angry. Let him come.

He just wants to unleash his anger. I mean, we could do a backstory where he didn't have a great father, but I feel like that's enough of those questions. So he's going to come for you. Okay, he hits, but it's not as bad as it could be. Although that wasn't great. Oh, that cheesy pup.

Mm-hmm. That cheesy pup. 16 damage. Okay, I'm straight. Well, the top of it probably is. The bottom has enough to watch it. Okay, now it is y'all's turn. All right, I'm straight. Well, the top of it probably is. The bottom has to be the one. Okay, now it is y'all's turn. All right, I'm big.

Operation Save Ramsey? Or whatever you want to do. I'm going to reach up and I'm going to just grab her face and turn it to the side and I'm going to pour. What's up, Chetney? I don't know. A legendary tiny Tina potion. Boom. Lovely.

And you're going. Please roll a 20, a d20 and add 10 to it, if you would. You didn't even put a healing potion in her mouth. You just put a tiny Tina's potion. It's a big ass healing potion. It's not a healing potion. It's a random potion. We'll see what happens.

I love it. Keep it going. We'll see what happens. Take it. You die a death worse than death. It's a 16. Plus 10? Uh-huh. Plus 22, isn't that Baby Ramsey again? Wait, no, he rolled a, you rolled a six?

I rolled a six plus 10, so 16. Oh, 16 total. Oh, 16 total, okay. I was really hoping for another Baby Ramsey. I thought that was a, I was really hoping for another baby Ramsey. I thought that was a potion. This is kind of morbid. I'm just going to say that. Oh no.

What you get is Bullet Burp. So for 20 minutes, Ramsey's dead body is going to burp uncontrollably, causing bullets to come out of her mouth. Leave her! Leave her there! One d4 damage to anyone adjacent. Just prop me up at least. So she's burping towards.

You're like a turret. You're right next to the sword guy. So why don't you roll a d4 to see if you hit sword guy. To see if your corpse hits sword guy. Well. Come on, come on. One. You know, come on. One. You know, one's not nothing.

It's something. I'm adjacent, so you hit me, too. Yeah, just prop me up so I can at least help y'all on my death. So that's what your potion did. Boy, yep. Sure did. The turret is also going to take a shot at sword chest guy.

How many turns is that bad boy bad? This is the second round. This is the last one. So we'll roll a hit. 11, 14 to hit, which it does, and that's three hits. And you're hitting? Blue sword in the chest. Great. Oh, that's crap.

Four plus nine is 13. And for the last one is 23 points of damage. Great. Okay. And, and, and, and, and. I don't think I have an extra, well, you know what? I'll spend a bad-ass token to pour an actual healing potion in her mouth.

You have to do it in a bad-ass way. That is my stipulation. Oh, yeah. Of course. Am I just sitting there like? Yeah, good. Well, I would just, I jump up on the column to try and pour it in your mouth,

but all of a sudden, I'm being Tommy Gun fired at, so I have to entrapment one arm, handstand up above you as the bullets like, and I pour it in your mouth. Okay, that's pretty badass. That's pretty badass. Roll that big old die, please. One, D, eight?

No, the big old die. Oh, the big old die. No, the big old die. Digging in, bop, bing, bop, bap. Oh, the big old die. No, the big old die. Beep, beep, beep, beep! Oh no! That's a natural one! Oh! Wow! You don't, so basically what happens is the potion sprays around

and it actually gets on the skeleton and you heal the skeleton for whatever the potion is worth. Oh no! And I get a mayhem point. Oh no! Three points. Okay.

That's amazing. But you do get two bad-ass tokens. Holy. We're trying. We're trying. Spraying it everywhere? Yeah, like here in the club. Like it's Cristal and you're in the club or whatever people do in the club.

I don't know, I've never been. I'm still shooting. That's my turn! All right. I fall back down by the way. I turn around to Sword in the Chest skeleton, still mad, still fisty, and I... Still fisty? Yeah, still fisty. I love it.

Then I'm going to roll for a natural one. Oh no! It's going bad. How's that? So I fail that and you get a mayhem point. So then I try my second attack. Oh my god.

Is it another one? Holy moly. It's just barely. Oh. Okay, and then... Woo hoo! Yeah, what is happening right now? I don't know and I don't like it, but.

I feel like we were so cool for a minute. Look at this one. We were so cool for a minute. That's a 20 on either side of it. Before it looks like that. Incredible. So 15, 17. 22. Great. Damage to Blue Shore Chess.

Come on. Then I walk over to my good old friend, Ramsey, and I'll go ahead and grab... Make sure it's the right one! You grab the health potion, the one that says help. You're going to pass the turret? Yeah. Let's see if I can... Nope.

It's a fun mini game that I'm playing, which is can I land anything upright? I slowly pour this potion into Ramsay's mouth while letting a little bit of drool dribble in. For seven. Yay! Ramsay is revived. And for that extra bit of dribble, I'll give you another HP back.

Oh yeah! I'll take it! Four 80s. But I'm still spewing bullets out of my mouth. And you came back into awareness and living with bullets coming out of your mouth. Whoa! Oh no! Great turn. That is your turn.

My friend's over on my right. Thank you, meta. Yeah. Okay. I am going to stay next to the turret so I can get the healing of the turret. So that puts me at 19 points. You also took no damage, so you get an extra five points. Sweet.

So my shield's back at 10. Okay. I'm going to lean out from behind this pillar that I'm hiding behind. Mm-hmm. I'm going to aim my laser sights at that skeleton king. Yes, Mother. Take aim, fire. Kablam.

That is 20. Okay. Dang. Kill pros, about it. So zero on one and nine on the other. And that was to Chest Man, yeah? That was to Skeleton King. Skeleton King, great. Okay, Skeleton King.

And you did nine to that bad boy? Yes. Okay, great. Would you like to do anything else with your time? Well, let's see. I'm going to spend a bad-ass point. Ooh, I love it. To roll another Deception.

I'm going to send out my decoy again. Okay. I'm going to set it from behind here, and I'm going to take off running the opposite direction while it comes running out this way. Toot, toot, toot, toot. And I'm going to run up. Toot, toot, toot, toot. Here. Great.

You have one more of those left in the chamber, or two? One more after this, yeah. One more, okay. Sweet. That's your turn? Yes. Send it! All right. I am going to, it's looking bad, we're going to be badasses.

We're all being badasses right now, right? Yeah. I'm going to spend one of my two, and I am going to dive into a front tuck and as I dive, I swap out my pistol for my shotgun. So you'll get a mayhem point. Thank you very much. But as I do that with my left hand, my on hand, I'll also reach out and grab, because I have an extra,

I'll grab another common health potion and throw it to right there. Nice. So you have that, because you're still pretty messed up, right? Yeah, you are. Yeah, dive and roll straight in the face of the skeleton king and take a shot at him in the dome with my shotgun. Let's do that big, bad-ass die.

Ooh, the big one. Because you're doing a big, bad-ass move. I'm trying, I'm trying to be nimbly-bimbly, let's go! 15. Let's go, okay. That is a pass, my friend. Sweet. So then would I just roll my normal damage for the shotgun?

Yeah, it's a crit, actually. Okay. And you also get to use your base stats for the rest of your turn. Oh, nice. Oh, that's really cool. Okay, so then damage that I would get. Two.

Two. Sorry, this is so new. You also get four badass tokens as well. Ooh! Four, so I'm up to five. Mm-hmm. Six, seven, okay. Eight points of damage. His eyes start to eviscerate

and the rest of his body, or the rest of his head, I should say, explodes out and the crown goes and the skeleton man is dead. His crown is the only thing left of him. Goodbye, he goes. The crown. Then I say, hit it, buddy, and my turret activates.

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Woo! It just lays into our sword in the chest guy. Great. Should we roll, pull that sword out? Oh yeah, I got to do it first. Oh my goodness, I cannot roll on that seven. Great, so I only get three.

Seven. 12. Seven. Nice. Yeah, 19 points of damage. So the sword pulsates and the skeleton crumbles. For a second, you think it's dead, and then it stirs, and then it stirs.

Then the bones begin to reform themselves, and it holds the sword in its hand instead. Uh-oh. It's back to life. It doesn't look quite as strong as before. It seemed like the sword was giving it some strength, but it's still formidable and it's still up. Ooh.

So you knocked it down a peg, but boy's still livin'. And on the LCD screen, a little picture pops up, and it's just a little skeleton man with a sword going, . Dang it. He's taunted. And that's it for me. I love it. Okay, great. So you've defeated another skeleton king,

but I hate to tell you, now this pillar pulses. Is this a puzzle? Is this a puzzle we're missing? Are we, because I don't think we can take every one of these pillars. Should we be attacking? Should we be? And the skeleton king of yore appears.

No other Skeletors and stuff. Just an extremely scary skeleton king, but you guys have taken care of two, right? Only one of you died. Probably be fine. Shh. Hi-bye. Hi-bye. Who's next?

Is it me? Yeah. Skelly king? Is Skelly king up, or is that the... Okay. We all had turns, yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. So that's our boy.

Would I get a turn since I'm healthy? I think you are going to take yours next round. Yeah. So now it's a... I will. I will on the next. Our new king's turn. The baddies also haven't gone yet. All of the other skeleton baddies, do they get to go?

That's right, all the other skeleton baddies have not gone. Thank you. So. Our immortal Skeletar. I think he's pissed at, where did you do your cool slide to, actually? We didn't move you, Sandy. I would have been right in front of where the head was.

Right in front of where the head was. Right in the moss, yeah. Would you mind moving him for me? Of course. Thank you. Maybe. There-ish. Great. And then would you mind moving my skeleton friend? This scary guy?

Yeah, scary man. Why? Right towards you. But I don't want to. Too bad! And he is going to swing his axe high above his head. And let's see if he hits. He does, could have been worse. And he's going to do...

I think he demoralized him. He only does seven damage. Could be a lot worse. First blood. And actually, he's going to spend one of my sexy man voice. I take it back. To attack you again. Oh! Ooh, hubris. And this time, I think it's going to be a better attack.

Ooh, yeah. Ooh, that's rough. Okay, he does you dirty for 19 damage. How are we looking? 19. My shields are down. Okay. And I'm down six health points.

You might need a potion bag. So that's his turn. You do it? Okay. Our skeleton, this skeleton guy, I'm afraid to say, is also going to come up and hit you. Yes, everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's cool. We're just having fun. Everything's cool.

No one can stand upright, but that's fine. Yeah. Imagine he's very intimidating. Go on. Yeah, that one. His butt's gone. That one is super. They're just all going to lean. They're that one is super. His butt's gone. They're just all going to lean. They're a little bit drunk. He's going to go here and

it's the air of the mind, guys. And then he's going to move forward, but he can't get to you yet. Thank goodness. But our skeleton guy is going to try to attack you. Mm-hmm. Okay, there he goes. So Skeleton Man does hit for a,

pardon me, for a total of, let's see, why don't we, 12 damage. Oh no! Uh-oh. And that's their turn. Tough. I'm a tough guy.

So. Yes, your turret's gone. Thank you for doing that. And now it's our skeleton. No, our skeleton king already moved. He can't do much else, I don't think. No, he can't. Okay, so now it's y'all's turn.

Okay. All right, well, here's the ghost. Here goes. I'm walling out for this badass attack. I look at the wreckage around me, seeing my friends get down, seeing what's going on, just fed up. I stomp up to the sword chest skeleton, kick him in the chest, grab the sword,

seeing that it imbued him with power, stab me, pull his head off, stick it in my bazooka, and shoot it at the skeleton king. That sounds pretty badass. I will forego my turn to aim at that badass. Hell yeah. Okay, so you're both going to roll bad ass dice. Bad ass.

Let's get it cranked up. I rolled a 17. 11. You pass. So when you stab the sword into yourself, you hear a voice enter your head, seemingly from nowhere, Uh-hmm. You hear a voice enter your head, seemingly from nowhere. Uh-oh. That hisses,

This does not belong to you. I need you to actually make an additional check. I want you to do a... I want you to do a straight mastery check. Okay. To see if you can best this spirit that exists in the sword to bend to your will. Are you there, creepy voice?

It's me, Margaret. 16. It groans as if in pain as you, I don't know, flex, I guess? That's what you did before. And it's flexed into submission. Yeah. As you attack this skeleton creature,

you're going to get an additional, say... That's pretty cool. You're going to get another d10. All right. So, all right. Should I roll to hit first, or what? Yes. No, you hit. You hit. You crit with that.

So this is the melee hit, right? So another double d10. Let's get that. There it is. And then, of course, because I get my also d6. Just monsters. All right, well, that's

eight plus my five. That's going to be 13. 13, okay. Pretty good. He's not dead, but he is hurt. And he is properly demoralized because he never thought in a million years that someone would take his sword

and stab it into themselves. So. That's a choice. You know, he's pretty impressed. If this is the way he dies, I think he's going to think it's a good death. Okay, great. Who wants to go next? We're out.

Can I leap from one pillar in front of me? I'm going to try to do a and land right here. Yes. While my, oh, let's see if I can make it stay. Yes! Cool. My decoy's going to go

over here. And I'm going to spend my turn looking around the grove for a lever, I don't know, some sort of thing. Like, is this a puzzle? Do we have to click something to make these stupid skeleton kinks stop coming out? Is there something? Yeah.

Give me a search check. Okay. The queen in the tree. Oh, maybe the queen is in the tree. I like that. The queen is in the tree. Oh, maybe the queen is in the tree. I like that. The queen is in the tree. I rolled a five. You don't see anything, but gosh darn it, if you're not sure that there must be something to this whole shenanigan.

Oh. There is something. But you can't see exactly what, or what you should do. Okay. You know what? Can I assist her search for my turn? Do you want to do something badass? Yes, definitely.

Such a badass search. Give me the most badass search that anyone's ever done. Dude, I'm going to... Here's what I'm going to do. Okay, so... Trying to think of something right now. I'm just going to start flipping around, and I'm going to...

I'm going to somersault through, get by the tree underneath Kill Pro and be like, I'm helping you search out. This is so my bad ass. Remember that you do have a bird with which to do things. Oh my god! Okay, I'm going to send Davey.

Okay. Davey. Go look for some stuff, okay? And make sure that Davy goes, Go help Kill Pro and see if you can find something. And Davy sets off and lands on Kill Pro's shoulder and goes, Ah!

You saw me. I'm fucking visi- Shit. What? Really? I'm invisible. If you could under- He goes, and if you could understand Bert, he would go, Bert's have really good eyesight.

Oh, okay. But he basically needs you to point him in a sort of direction or give him more input than look for stuff, and then he'll be able to help you. Can I raise my rifle up and look through the sniper sights and see if I can? Is there a little reticle, like a thing? Okay, so he sees the red light,

and he's going to follow wherever you point it. Okay. So where do you point it? I don't know, I rolled really. Just around? You're just scanning? I just rolled really crud on my search. Why don't you give me, well, actually you have to roll for this, of course.

Okay. So you need a Badass Die. Badass Die. Badass Die. Okay. I grab it. Can I? 12. Oh, did you want to? A 12 ain't bad,

because ultimately you just have to do one thing. So we'll say it passes. I'm only going to give you two Badass tokens, though. Okay, I'll take them. So the bird flies over to you and sees the red laser and starts surreptitiously flying around and looking. And he flies this direction and he stops and hovers around this pillar.

Which one? That pillar? This one right here. Okay. There's something odd about it. Its pulse is a little bit different than the others. This one right here. And he notices that the, or what you notice when you look a little bit closer at the Tree of Life is that the branches

really want to stay away from that pillar. Like, ignore this part, but they're all growing. They're all growing away from that pillar. So there's something going on here, is basically what you glean. Okay. Okay. I think it's just you, Sandi. Am I the only one that's left?

I think so. I am so jacked up right now. There's no disengage, like I'm not going to get jacked if I run away, right? If you use a Badass token, you do it in a cool way, I'll let you. Perfect! I've got plenty of them. I am going to just do the good old-fashioned,

another tuck and a roll between my boy's legs. This baddie, I'm going to go roll between his legs, and as I do, give him a little pinch on the tush and then sprint as fast as I can to the other side of that tree. Let's see if I can thread this needle. I believe you can. I'm going to...

I'm going to go over there to the other side. This guy? Well, on the other side of the tree, but I don't want to make you do it. Okay. Over here? Yeah, yeah, please. Away from everyone bad but I don't want to make you do it. Okay. Like over there. Over here? Yeah, yeah, please. Away from everyone bad, because I'm hurting. Can you do it for us?

Yeah, I'm trying. Sorry. Yeah, I got you. Somewhere over here. Hang on a second. I'm still alive, though. Cool. Then I'll pop a healing potion. Great.

Get rid of that. 1d8. Oh my goodness gracious, two. So helpful. I just feel real bad. I'm like, ah! Then my turret's going to come alive for one last hurrah before it disappears. Let's see how it does.

It'll aim in on that guy. Two, seven, eight, nine. On Sword Boy? Nine points of damage on our former Sword Boy, disarmed. I have good news for your turret. With his last action on earth, he destroys Sword Boy as BM very carefully removes him from the map. Nice! He's gone.

Well done. My turret just says, Yay! It goes, folds back on itself and goes right back into my pocket. Charming turret. Yeah. Could you pull that off for me? Yeah, get out of there.

Thank you. I have another one somewhere. Okay, great. Now it is the Skellington's turn. So. Skellington? Oh boy, we're in the danger zone. This guy is going to just move there. And this guy is going to move here.

And they actually can't do much besides that. So that's their turn. But now it is the skeleton king's turn. And he is going to move. Okay, let's see. Well, he's going to move toward what he thinks is Killbot Mommy.

And he's going to make an attack, but he's a fucking, he's a stinking dummy that doesn't know nothing about nobody. So I would roll, but it doesn't matter because whoosh! The decoy goes away while he hits thin air. Whoosh! And he's steaming mad about it. Um.

So he is going to, actually, he's fine. He's fine. So he's going to keep living his life. And that's his turn. So, who would like to go? That's it, right? Now we're up? Mm-hmm.

I'll announce from the tree, there's something going on with the pillar. All right. The pillar? And I will run around the tree and let Sandy know right here, that's where I'm heading. And I'm going to try to swing around and, I don't know, do something bad. I'm an ophthalm'm going to try to swing around and, I don't know, do something badass.

Hand yourself. Fly into the sun! I'm going to swing around the pillar and try to land over there and search it in a really badass way. You're so powerful, you knock the leaves off the tree. Wow. And I yell at Sandy as I'm jumping down, help me search! Because that was such a cool move,

I am going to have you spend a Badass Token and roll a Badass Die to see if you can accomplish it. And since I was requested to help, I will sprint as fast in my direction and get my search in. 15, hey? Ocho! Okay, it passes. So you're going to use your base stat

to search the pillar. Okay. And I'll give you a plus two because Sandy is helping you. My base stat. Rather than just the mod of like, you're going to use. The larger the more.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Just kidding. You're just going to roll and then add four to whatever you rolled. Okay. Add four plus one, because I've got my sniper rifle equipped. Plus five, that is 23. Perfect.

So you see that basically all of these pillars are connected, but this is the central pillar, and they each have the spirit. You can sense that there's a spirit of a skeleton king and all the adjacent ones except this one and that this one is a portal of a kind. It is the way that the spirits are being channeled.

So you think that maybe if you destroy this pillar, the kings will stop spawning and that that might help, you know, with all the death that has been happening, mostly, and then who knows what will happen after that. But you're thinking that maybe if you get rid of this pillar, then the kings will stop spawning. All right.

I will announce to the group, in my invisibility, attack this pillar that I'm standing next to! That was the plan, so that rocks. She sounds so much different now. Yeah. So first I go ahead and I'll throw my Ashen Transfusion grenade that lets me gain equal health

to the damage dealt with it towards the skeleton king. Oh, for eight plus. Come on, now. Not bad. Plus two damage to all explosives, so I get 10 health off of that, and they take 10 damage. Then I move into range to blow this little pillar into smithereens.

Yeah. I'm going to get up there, right there. Yeah, yeah, just wait right there. My decoy is gone, and I turn not invisible anymore because that was too careful. So I roll to attack. I took him off, or I took her off. I roll to attack this pillar.

Okay, great. That's going to be a 14, so I just roll a d12. Great. Where are you? There you go. Come here, come here. Two Badass tokens for that. Succeeding on the Badass?

Yes, you got four, and you got two Badass tokens, Sandy. And that is going to be a, I know, just what I need. 16. 16 against the pillar? Yeah. I love it. Okay, the pillar shudders. But it's still a pillar. All right, I'm going to give you that action,

that mayhem, to shoot another shot at this stupid puny pillar. Was it worth it? Of course it wasn't. Well, technically, I mean, I rolled the same unless I hit crit, so. It's a, yeah, it was. 415.

Okay, not bad. 31, that's great. Okay, great. Is that your turn? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who would like to go next? I'm going to run up following Metasleet. Oh, it's amazing! And I'm going to give you a mayhem point

to swap to my Mind Flayer, and I'm going to take a shot at the column. It's cocked. 17 plus two, 19, that's great. Great. So that's three hits and a crit, that's dope. But it's just these guys, plus my mod is two, so that's eight.

Eight, 16 plus three, 19. Plus! 18 plus five. Yes, yes, yes, yes, 23. 23 points of damage. 23 points of damage? Yeah. The pillar cracks all along its length

and from the cracks, these beams of light start seeping out and the Skeleton King screams in a horrifying scream, a sort of, no! As if someone's life is ending and the spirit is being sucked from their bone structure. And the pillar explodes. The skeletons are freaking banished.

Yeah! Look at the shirts! Yay! And everything calms. The pillar was exploded. Oh, we did it. I took the power of mathematics. You feel a sense of calm descend over the forest.

All of the weird, mucky, icky, spooky energy seems to gently lift. You hear, as the creepiness begins to dissipate and rays of sunshine begin to come in, you hear the disembodied voice of the handsome sorcerer say, Ugh, that didn't kill you? Damn it! That cost me so many spell slots!

I hate you guys! Whatever, you may have won today, but I'll come back next time! He's pretty whiny. He thinks that his looks are going to get him places, and they're not. Nope. Then in the doors in the back, where this vault is, they open and you hear a majestic

and a beautiful diamond pony starts clippin' down the stairs and comes up to you. You realize the queen is none other than Queen Butt Stallion, the fairest and kindest queen in all the land. Come on! She gets up on her hind legs and puts her little hooves on the tree and goes, and it's probably a horsey incantation,

you don't speak horse. And the tree glows a nice golden glow and the tree glows a nice golden glow and any remaining gloom and fog is lifted and you are quite sure that the curse has been cured and you're also probably pretty confused that the horse is a queen, but you're so happy with your victory

that you don't think about it that much. As you return to Flame Rock Refuge, you see. Do we ride the queen, the stallion pony, back? Do a talk roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. Dirty 20. Let me ride. She says yes, and you each somehow, against all logic and physics, you all fit on her,

and you clomp back into Flame Rock Refuge. As you return, you see that joy and happiness has returned to the town, and standing outside the tavern is Elinor, so pleased that you helped her queen and she has your number. And that's the end! Yay!

Nice to play, guys. Horse didn't have any money? Oh my god. That is a gorgeous map. Good grief. That was so busted. You still want to know where the skeleton, you're still into the skeleton cave?

No, no, no, I stole one of the crowns on the way out. Oh, perfect. Did you try and get the number of the handsome sorcerer? I mean. Or was it a turnoff that he was such a whiny baby? It was the wine, yeah, wasn't it? It really doesn't do it for you. If he had maybe present,

so I could really see the abs while he was whining, but it was just a disembodied whiny voice. There's nothing that really douses the flame. No whiny voice. Well, thank you guys so much for playing the silly game with me, and we hope that all you at home had as much fun as we did. Thank you to 2K for making this possible.

And go check out Tiny Tina's Wonderlands right now at playwonderlands.com. Good night. Yay! Let's go! Woo! I love you! Yay! at playwonderlands.com. Good night. Let's go! maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast. Many listeners find our show through word of mouth and recommendations. So please consider rating and reviewing our podcast because each review makes an impression that may just inspire someone new to give our show a try. And that more than anything helps to support us.

Thank you for joining us on this adventure. And until next time, let us try to leave the world a little better than we found it.