Critical Role - Vox Machina: Dalen's Closet

Episode Date: September 5, 2019

Thanks to your generous support in our Legend of Vox Machina Kickstarter campaign, Vox Machina returns in this special one-shot!Vox Machina return to the beaches of Dalen's Closet for the official wedding of Vex'ahlia and Percival, but no wedding ever goes off without a hitch...Thumbnail art and original character art by Kit Buss: https://twitter.com/AnemoneTeaWatch Campaign 2 of Critical Role LIVE Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hello, bees! This is Laura Bailey, here to welcome you to the Critical Role podcast. If you'd like to tune into the show as it airs, you can watch Critical Role Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. Our lovely Twitch subscribers can view the episode on demand right away. Or you can find it on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. And of course, for all you fantastic podcast listeners, Critical Role episodes hit feeds on Thursday mornings, a week after the episode first airs. With all that said, let's get into another episode of Critical Role. Hello, everyone, and welcome to our special one shot of Critical Role,

where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're the Dungeons & Dragons! And get married. And, yeah. And get married. Yeah, that is exactly what's happening. No one's shot. Wait, what? This was part of our Kickstarter.

You guys generously donated towards the Legend of Vox Machina anime series, and as one of our stretch goals was to go ahead and bring Vox Machina together for another one-shot. This one in particular involves the wedding of Percival and Vex'ahlia. So we'll go ahead and dive in here in a minute. We all dressed up a little nice for the evening's occasion. Got some new decor in the space for it,

which is pretty fun. Travis did not change his normal street clothes. No, well, he didn't get the memo, unfortunately. He was on a t-shirt and jeans for the show, but today he was just in too much of a hurry, so he left his regular. That's answers to five dollars for the first hour. That's pretty cheap. That's pretty affordable.

Oh, I'll chip in when the episode's over tonight. Go to our shop now. So, let's go ahead and dive in to tonight's episode of Critical Role. Now! I'm not sure if I should do this, but I'm not sure if let you get away with this. I'm sorry. Welcome back. So, last we left off, Vox Machina, heroes of Emon and Exandria at large, have managed to seal Vecna, the newly ascmon and Exandria at large, have managed to seal Vecna, the newly ascended god, beyond the Divine Gate,

with losses of friends and loved ones, but protected the lives of many, many more in generations to come. They then lost their friend Grog, his soul jettisoned to the land of pandemonium. Following suit, they chased down the location of his spirit, freed him from his prison, and then fought their way back,

seeking the Githrazi entity known as Bob, as so given by the team here. You manage to find yourself back to Exandria, whole together, and that was that. History carried on. Yet here we are about a year later. In this time, many of you have found new epilogues to yourselves,

begun to build a life outside of the adventurer's type existence that involves bringing Whitestone to the beginnings of its new heights, that involves reconnecting with one's daughter, that involves gathering the people under the banner of their new proven leader, that involves kindling a relationship, long pursued and teased. That involves finding new ways to get drunk and beat the face of those that dare step on and call you a name.

Oh, promise. And that involves, actually, the birth of a new child. Vex'ahlia and Percival, if you'd like to talk a little bit about what you've been up to this past year. Oh. Quite a bit. Yes. It's... Welcome back, hi. Yes, hi.

Well, we had a kid. We did. Yeah, she's super cute. Yeah. She's adorable. Yeah, wonderful. What's her name? Do you want to? Oh no, it's all you. It's Vesper. Oh.

Vesper Elena. Vesper Elena de Rolo. Just one middle name? Just one. All right. Start simply. I think naming a kid after one of the Vestiges is very smart. That's not, well. Thank you, Grog.

Thank you. Yes. Wish it was a good name. Fenthrys, not a bad name. It's not terrible. Terrible. It's not terrible. Terrible. It's terrible. So, you've begun preparations for the the Lady and, Dorolo, the new leadership in Whitestone

alongside your sister, Cassandra, and the event begins to loom closer and closer. You have decided on a destination wedding. What a bunch of assholes. So you send out your invitations to friends and family. Roughly how many people do you invite? Approximately, I'm forced to invite at least 150.

That many, darling? I'm really hoping that none of them show, though. Destination, that's the point, right? That's the whole point of a destination wedding, is you get a vacation and they're nowhere around. And they got the invitation, so they can't really complain, can they? 150, okay.

Oh no. Roll for attendance. Oh, that's great. Matt has to do a quick seating chart. Talk amongst yourselves. I think he just doomed us. I think he had options planned for 10, 50, 100 plus. This is what fifth edition is for.

A handful of names, perhaps, of your most prized invitees. Unfortunate distant relatives that must be appeased. Oh, you want actual names of people that have been there? Well, just a handful that you would put at the tables closest to yours. Oh. Cassandra. Cassandra, of course. Kima, Laura.

Gilmore. Gilmore, of course. Jaret. That makes sense, I suppose, yeah. You must. Are you inviting Sildur, Davana, and Ballora? Obviously. One would assume. And Terry, of course, if you can make it. Well, Terry better make it. He has to.

I'm asking him to be my... I was going to... No. No. I thought Keyleth would. No, Keyleth makes more sense for you, darling. Oh, that's fair. All right, fine.

Either way, I want them both standing next to us. That will make, as long as that's what we have, that'll be fine. All righty. This is exactly what table planning at weddings is like. Exactly. This is going to be a magnificent three hours of us planning a wedding.

I hope you buckle in, guys. What about Jemima Sa'ord? Yes. This hope you buckle in, guys. What about J'mon Saurd? Yes. They seem like a good high quality. Yeah, and it's pretty close, actually. So he should be able to make it. They should be able to make it. Thinking if there's anyone we've forgotten.

I'm sure. Of course. Pike? Yeah? Do you want your family there? Um... It's okay. I think...

We could invite them. They probably won't come. Let's invite them, they probably won't come. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. They're on the invite. Thanks for thinking of that, though. That's really nice. And my dad and't as well.

Of course. Sit in the back. Yeah. All right. Behind a tree or something where you can't really see. So in the months approaching, young Vesper is born. Delight is had as the various extended

and chosen family of Vox Machina are introduced to the child, their own individual times, and as a group, as you all begin to gather for travel. For you could take a ship, and you may well, you are welcome to take a ship if you'd like, across the long journey and enjoy a sea voyage towards the wedding, but you have more immediate means

of transportation at your disposal. Do you mind? It'd be nice if we all got there before everyone else. Oh, sure. Yeah. Are we good to go? Good? I believe so. Got all your stuff?

Where are we going? Where is this group right now? Yeah, am I there? I didn't know I was there. Yeah, we got it. I just started, yes and and. We've got it in Whitestone. Okay, got it in Whitestone, okay. But of course, we're going to Daelin's closet.

As per the invitation says. Where is that again? Is it in the mountains? Yes. Sure. The very sunny mountains with a lot of ocean around it. Yeah. Are you lying? Mm-mm. Do you remember we went there? We did.

Yeah. For what? I've never been, actually. I'm curious. That's true. That's why. It's quite nice. I suppose I should introduce myself. Oh!

What the fuck is going on? Sorry. I didn't know if I should speak up or not. This is Darragh. Who's Darragh? He's my plus one. Darragh. Darragh, yes.

I'm the Master of Defense in Zephrah. Plus one. Yeah, well, Abe is, no, not that kind of a plus one. You're dating already. No, I mean, it's not, it's been a- No, it's fine, I encourage him. No, he's my, the council assigned him to me

for my protection because they think I am too important to travel alone. He's your bodyguard. He's my bodyguard. Honestly, she clearly doesn't need it, but it's a political thing, really, the council insisted. He's also been in charge as the Master of Defense and gathering a local defense team,

if you will. Oh. Like a SWAT team of some sort? Like a National Guard. Oh. Oh. Caleb, I'm the National Guard. What do you need a team for? Well, you are the Grand Poobah. Oh, right, my official duties.

Anyway, don't mind me. I'll be hanging back and just offering support. What do you look like? Beat me to it. Darrag has, he's a little older than y'all. He is half-elven as well. He doesn't have fully pointed ears. He has two scars cut along his cheeks that are old.

A little grizzled. A little tired around the eyes. He has a blade and a shield on his back and leather straps across his chest. One arm is clothed in a very nice white linen shirt for the occasion. The other arm is bare and has a full shoulder and arm tattoo of clouds breaking with the sun

right here on the shoulder. Here, he looks like this, I'm sure. Is he a human? Oh no, he's a half-elf. Oh, let me see! Is he a human? Oh no, he's a half-elf. Oh, damn. Hello, sir. What's up? He's got cool armor.

All right. Oh, okay, okay. About how old is this fine gentleman? You could have done worse, Keyleth. That's pretty good. He's my bodyguard. Sure, sure. Is this going to be a running gag? Probably. No running gags.

This is just how I see the world. It's the prism. You did warn me. All right. So gathering your things, meeting out by the Sun Tree in the center of the Mainthraff Fair and Central Whitestone, you all present yourselves before Keyless,

and you may. Where's Terry? Oh. He's not here yet. He's coming? Well, yeah. Oh. Maybe he's meeting us there. I didn't really make it clear. Might be with Dissandra, if possible. Okay. Terry! Terry!

Terry is the automaton maker? Oh, yes. Yes. Terry? Terry. Hello! Oh, it was me! Oh, well look at you lot. Oh, no!

Don't you look amazing? I was over there, just wandering about, and I saw the seven, eight of you. Who's this guy, anyway? I thought, this couldn't be my old friends. You look too fancy and gussied up, and I came on over and look at you all. You look amazing, fantastic. Doty! Doty? Take this down. It has been years since I've seen my friends, my partners. Oh god. My battle-seasoned partners. And yet it feels like no time has gone by at all.

The rapport that we share is famous and everlasting, and I feel, looking across all their faces, that they missed me tremendously. I feel like I remember you. What is going on? The sadness in their face mixed with the hopeful joy of seeing mine once more. Ooh!

Makes for a wonderful moment. Oh, elastic. Doty, take a note, we'll need this moment illustrated, probably by our second or third best illustrator. Terry. Hi. You have illustrators? Oh yes, yes, I've upgraded.

My books are filled with all sorts of things now. Yes, yes. What number Doty is this? This is Doty 5.0. Doty 4.0 had a little glitch. He tried to kill us all. But it's fine, it's fine, and now Doty 5.0 is in service, and he's remarkable.

Every time there's a little bit of an improvement. Carry. Yep, that's the improvement. That's one opposable thumb. That's it. That is fully automated. That is great. Pretty good. Are you still baking? Oh yes, well, with my duties to the brigade, I don't have much time to tend to the

kitchen very much, but I have gone back to bake a few desserts. Not as good as you all. How is the shop running these days? Franchises. So well. Yeah, it's everywhere. Is that true? Yes, yes. We're about to open up shop in Wildemount, actually. Wow, wow. I have yet to receive a percentage of that, but I assume it will be coming.

Yes, maybe you can help find a location. Sure, I'll send my best people to scout it out. Well, this is going to be so much fun. Fun, fun, fun. When do we depart? Right now. All right. Kyd much fun. Fun, fun, fun. When do we depart? Right now. All right. Give, please.

Okay. Have everything? Dress, shoes, hats? Yes. Definitely not wearing it already. Definitely not. I didn't bring 300 hours of role-playing experience for this character, is that all right?

Make do. Big do! SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, That's right. I think that's how it's all worked, right? SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, with the resounding echo of the exterior bark of So like the noise the trees make. Exactly.

The exterior of the sun tree's trunk splits in the center with a creaking. There you can see behind it the white sands of a familiar beach awaiting you. You rush through into the tree as it closes behind you, each of you stepping out, your feet sinking slightly into the soft sandy beach as you now stand before

a relatively thick, tall palm tree. The sun is coming through, though it is a bit of a hazy day. There's a bit of clouds in the sky. You guys glance around. The warm air coming with bits of salt and sea spray wafting on the breeze. You look out over the Bay of Gifts, Shemal Bay, here at the base of the Yggdrad Mountains

on the northeast side of Marquet. You can see the beautiful cities that wrap around the crescent shape of this bay and the many, many ships coming, going, or docked. It is glimmering with white silks and colored materials draped from torch top to large lantern. It is just a display of colors and culture,

and it's been some time, so it's nice to return. You shortly gather yourselves and make your way towards where you know the actual event space has been supposedly prepared for you in advance. Going to double check, as it is early day, just after noon, 1, 1.30 in the afternoon here, you can glance over and see a series of tables set up

about maybe 50 or 60 feet from the shoreline. You see tables set up there with benches and chairs and little candelabras and torches set up around them. They have all sorts of large heavy kegs and crates. You can see a raised platform on the edge of the beach right by where the waves are, where it is that this ceremony is meant to take place, here on the bay itself.

You can see a number of folks quickly, frantically rushing around, trying to set cloth onto the tables and utensils, and doing double, triple checking of all the materials required. None of them have noticed your presence as of yet. What you do know is that this evening looks to be the reception, or the, the, the...

Rehearsal? Rehearsal, thank you. The reception. The rehearsal for the evening and a smaller crew of friends that you invited to come and join for dinner. It's a fucking wedding. It's like a wedding. Oh man. And then tomorrow, tomorrow is the big day in the actual event. Wow, it's so nice that they let you check in

the day before at this venue. Man, that's hard to find. Too real, too real. Love that. So the space is here, people are scattering around. You have actually the Bay of Gifts and Shmuel Bay there at your disposal. You're not sure who has arrived yet,

as it's probably a good five, six hours until the actual rehearsal dinner transpires. What would you like to do? I could still run, I'm just saying. I think it's a little late for that. You say that, I have a ship chartered, ready to go, taking care of everything, we can be out of here in less than an hour. Just take our friends and go.

They can come too, sure. Well, the kegs. You're right, Grog, the kegs. That's fair. You should stay. For the kegs. For the kegs, if nothing else. Yes. I'm going to go check on Vesper, really fast,

make sure she's in her room again. I'm going to. I'll check in with the wedding planner. See if we can find everybody their rooms. Terry? Yes? You know you're standing next to me tomorrow, right? I was, it was a little confusing, to be honest. I got a letter from Percival, my science bro,

and I did write a speech for him, but then you sent me your invitation to be your best man. Yes. And man of honor? I'm not quite sure on the details. So I adapted the speech for you. Perfect, darling, perfect. So who's standing behind you?

Well, that would be you, Bea. You have a speech, I assume. I'm super great at making speeches on the fly. I'm quite excited making speeches on the fly. Mm-hmm. I'm quite excited. The cape helps. I'm not wearing the cape. I'm not wearing the cape. You'll be fine.

Just picture everyone in the audience naked. Yeah, don't fuck it up. I think the speeches are tonight for you and Terry. Oh. Well, then I'd better go to my room and get some beauty sleep. And so it won't be so confusing for me to be in this scene. I'll leave now.

Terry and Dottie then shuffle off through the sands. Heading in towards shore, you can see Dallin's closet itself, the collection of single-story resort abodes and this spread-out inn-type arrangement in the center of which sits the large tavern known as the Perfect Pearl. You guys have been here before, so you know the lay of that location.

The last time ended in some shenanigans. You're looking for the wedding planner? Yes. Okay. What is their name? Have you been given the information to Keyleth? Yes, of course. Okay, so you're set for this. Okay.

I know their name. You are looking for Zeynakosh. Zeynakosh. Zeynakosh. Zeynakosh. You've gotosh. Zeynakosh. Zeynakosh. You've got it, right, darling? Yeah! Okay.

Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah. Zeynakosh. As you step towards the actual location of this event, you can see folks running around, setting up more chairs. They're offloading from a large cart in the back that have been dragged through the sands and past the various trees and clusters of green

before it turns into full beachside. More tables and more chairs. Whether or not a lot of people said they're going to show up, they're planning for quite a few, it looks like. Derek. Come on. I'm coming, I'm coming.

You both approach. You do see in the midst of it what looks to be a female half-orc with very, very short cut hair that comes into a bit of a pompadour that sticks up in the front. Her chin pokes out a bit as she keeps her head raised,

looking over and inspecting the folks around her. Sleeveless blouse, as well as very nice, airy, baggy pants and a pair of boots, really well made, that lace up the sides each, front to bottom. You can see she holds a packet of paper and is in the process of marking with a piece of charcoal various notes and giving instructions before noticing you both approach.

So, all right, put the presents over there, okay. Hello. Hello, can I help you? You must be Zayn Akash. I am, and you are? I am Keyleth of the Ereshari, Voice of the Tempest, Vinespeaker, and the best man. Right, okay, I and the best man.

Right, okay, I have your rights here. It's a pleasure to meet you, glad you could make it. You're a bit early, and you are? Darig. Darig. He is with me. He's not on the paperwork. He's my plus one. Goes and marks down, Darig, okay. Pleasure to meet you as well. Pleasure, oh.

I know, I know. I'm not, the whole diplomacy thing is your bag, not mine. Oh god, it's mine? Oh god, we're in trouble. You're the voice of the Tempest. I just wanted to check in on behalf of the bride and groom on how things were shaping up. It's looking beautiful, it's looking good.

It's not finished, though, right? No, by no means is it finished, but by time for the reception, there will be a much- Because this has to be perfect. Oh, jeez. I just, sorry, sorry. Trust, this is one of a long lineage of weddings and such events that have been thrown here

on the beachy shores of Delenn's Closet. I would not worry if I were you. And even this display you see here is still in the very early stages. By sundown this evening for the rehearsal, it will order. Are there snowdrops? Do you have the snowdrops? Was that requested? Goes to the papers.

Here, let me just, and I just start cured crafting snowdrops. Like dollar bills? Like. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Like a slot machine. There you go. These are important. All right.

Well, Javad, pick these up and prepare to scatter. All right. And you have the cake coming. Cake is coming from the Slayer's Cake, from the Marquette branch, yes? Right? The cake is part of the package, yes. Perfect, from the Slayer's Cake.

You're not doing the ones that you all provide, right? I just wanted to make sure. Oh no. Oh boy. I'm sure you have. I'm sorry. It will be taken care of. I'm sweating. Okay, it's just, these people mean a lot to me,

and I don't want to fuck this up, okay? We treat all of our clients with the utmost appreciation, respect, and diligence to their special day. Do not worry. Okay. Are we done? Here is a, like, a sending stone.

I have the other one. If you need me, just call me, okay? Just, I'll be nearby. It'll be done. Thank you. No worries. Vassa passes it off to somebody. Who's? My assistant.

Okay. All right. Go, relax, enjoy, welcome to Dolan's closet. I have a speech ray, I have a speech ray. He goes and turns around and starts going back to keeping tabs on business around. That was the one. Okay, I go try and write a speech trap.

I am putting Vesper down for her nap, and I'm going to go look for Pike and Skanban's room. Are they in the same room or different rooms? I don't know, we didn't discuss it ahead of time. Are there still different rooms? Maybe, I don't know. That's up to you guys. Oh boy, we should have talked about this.

Talk it out. No. Talk it out. Figure it out. Talk it out. I feel like they're in separate rooms. You know, Kaylie wanted to come see the coast, so I'm sharing a room with Kaylie. Obviously. Yes. And Pike's on her own, of course. It wouldn't be proper, you know,

for two single people to share a room. I didn't know. that wouldn't be proper. You've done it before, so I didn't know. I have shared rooms with people before, yes, and we have not been married, but I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, you know? Bless Sarenrae, she's been really guiding me through this period of my life,

and I think I'm turning over a new chapter. Wonderful. Yes. Can I talk to you? Sure, yes, what's up? Are we going to get drunk before this thing tonight or what? Obviously. Finally, I can again. Woo. Yeah.

So... Okay, so we invited my father. Obviously, you know, I don't care if he's here or not. It doesn't matter to me. However, I do need somebody to walk me down the aisle tomorrow and, well, I was wondering if it would be you. Why me? I'm the weirdest choice!

You're really not. I'm not her. You're really not. Oh boy, this is an honor. I was really planning on being super-duper drunk with Grog the whole day. Ooh, you know, really, the reception is the fun time to get drunk.

Mm-hmm. Well, of course. You know, if you want me to walk you down the aisle, do you want just a standard walk down the aisle, or do you want a little something-something? Scanlan, you put any flavor you want to on it, Dan. All right, I'll think of something nice. It would be a privilege and a great pleasure to serve as your father for the day?

I mean, I know it's stupid, but I have always looked up to you. I maybe haven't said it, but... Wow. I'm flattered and touched. And I will undo a few of the pranks I had planned for your wedding. Thank you.

All right. All right. Wow. As you leave the room, you turn around and you see a gnomish girl with short, kind of gel-spiked, dark auburn hair, carrying what looks to be a heavy case of luggage, comes looking at you and goes,

All right, so there happens to be the bride-to-be, right? Yes. Good to see you, dear. You see the deadbeat in that room? Yeah. Perfect. You see the deadbeat in that room? Yeah. Perfect. You look gorgeous. I'll be even more beautiful tomorrow, you just wait. I look forward to it. In the meantime, I've got to go destroy some onesie girl.

Hold on. Pushes past. Hey! You! Yeah, what? All right, all right, I'll carry my bag. She comes up and gives you a hug. Well, it's been a while. You look good, no new scars.

Not that you can see, at the very least. Yeah, keep your personal life to yourself. How's business? We making money still? at the very least. Well, yeah, keep your personal life to yourself. How's business? We making money still? Business has been fine. I've brought on a few other associates, you know, just to keep more of a distance,

best we can, a chain of folks that are burnable. Probably for the best. Got to keep it mysterious. You never know when you're going to have to cut and run. It's been well. I've actually been looking to put some of our saved income into some more, let's just say, legitimate businesses. Hmm. Interesting. Fingers in all the pies.

Yeah, sure. Anything particular in mind? I've been looking into a bit of the gold trade. Oh. I'm thinking of making, like, smaller gold coins that can be used universally, make it well-known, maybe folks everywhere. It's not quite a mass, but like a little bit of a coin. Interesting.

Interesting idea. I see a lot of growth potential in that. I'm thinking so. Let's get... I'm going to spread a word, telling folks all about it just subtly. Letting the word get out there. You know who's super-duper rich?

The groom. Why don't you just sidle up to him during the reception when he's all lubricated and everything and talk him up. Maybe you can score an investor. I think that's practically a very fine idea. Yeah, I like it. Okay, but no, seriously. He gives you a little smack in the face. All right. Yeah, I like it. Okay. But no, seriously. Gives you a little smack in the face.

All right. It's good to see you, too. It was cryptocurrency that finally wiped out the Darogh. So dumb. I'm so sorry. All right. Anyone else handling anything throughout the afternoon before the end?

We should probably talk to Pike. We should talk to Pike, make sure everything's taken care of, and Grog at some point. Oh yeah, I'm sure he knows. Did you talk to Grog? I hadn't talked to Grog. Well, I figured there's no sense talking to Grog because he was just going to forget anything I said anyway,

until the day of. Maybe we'll just tell him tomorrow, then. Perhaps it's for the best. Yeah, okay. All right. Let's talk, okay. All right. Let's talk to Pike. All right. Pikeyboo! Hello, Pike!

Hi, hi! Getting ready for the reception of our rehearsal. Yes, I am. I'm getting ready, I'm putting on my best. Yeah, yeah. Got a braid going. It's really beautiful, yeah. Love to. I like this bow.

Thank you. So, you just wanted to make sure that you had some ideas of what you were going to say, what sort of ceremony you were going to. Yes, I do. I've never done this before, but is there anything that you guys really want me to say, to not say, to focus on, not focus on, that type of a thing? Or do you want me to just wing it?

I mean, I trust you. Yeah, implicitly. Yes. Okay. I think you should wing it. I think winging it is probably the best way to go. Really, I mean, the deed's already been done. This is just for fun. Yes, okay.

Okay, I'm very excited. Thank you guys so much. This is a privilege and a great pleasure. I'm very excited, thank you guys so much. This is a privilege and a great pleasure. I'm so excited. You're going to do wonderfully, dear. Thank you. Do you guys... Do you guys have a job for Grog?

Oh, yes, of course. Well, yes, we've had some thoughts about perhaps letting him do the flowers, distribute the flowers. Okay, I just think he wanted a job, because I feel like we all had something to do, and I think he felt bad. Maybe we should talk to him. Maybe we should tell him tonight,

just to get it out of the way. Super drunk. That's fair. Okay. Okay. We'll go talk to him. Good idea, thank you. Okay, we'll have fun tonight, though.

Thanks, Pike. Okay, I love. We'll go talk to him. Good idea, thank you. Okay, we'll have fun tonight, though. Thanks, Pike. Okay, I love you guys, bye. Oh. Grog! What? Grog, there's some wedding business we need to talk about, do you have a moment? Yeah, yep, just a moment.

You're already wearing your hat. Yeah, my station requires that I maintain a certain level of plumage at all times. The rest of your outfit seems to be missing, but the hat is lovely. What are you talking about? That's the most clothes I ever wore in my life. That's fair.

Well, we were hoping that you would follow in the procession to... To taste the food? Yeah, no, I've already been making the rounds. I asked for all the appetizers, and I made sure at least half wasn't poisoned. Now, they've run out to the market to go refill the stocks, because they've got a bit carried away,

but it's real good, I can promise you, and I haven't shat once yet, so it's all good. Oh, good. Yeah. Also. We were hoping that you would, you would just. Very important job of, before the bride comes down the aisle. Yeah, that's you.

That's me. Mm-hmm. Uh, there is, it's really got to be somebody of very high station to walk down the aisle and put... Clear people out of the way. Can't fucking people outside move. Mostly they're already moved out of the way. Here comes the brine.

But also to lay down the snowdrops that will be all along the ground. A scattering of petals, if you can manage that. If that's all right with you. Are you all right? Are you? Is that okay, Grog? Is that? Could I have this job? Oh, I mean, it's for somebody very important.

Can you handle that level of responsibility? I have a question. Yes? Could I have this job? Grog, of course you can. I mean, only the most important part here. Of course. Now, how much violence is associated with this post?

It's all metaphorical, sadly. Okay, so I take the snowdrops. Thanks. And I scatter as we walk. Yeah. Do I throw them at people? Sure. If you like.

And then in the- Softly. Mostly on the ground, though. Right. Like, how are there very distinct rules about softly? Go practice. It's pretty softly. I go over to a nearby table in my room, I pick the flowers out.

I throw them at Percy. How hard do you throw them? Medium. Roll an attack roll. First roll of the night. With your strength modifier, proficiency bonus. Four, 16. Um, I mean.

You're not wearing armor currently. Oh, well, it doesn't matter, because I can actually do the dex catch anyway. Okay, yeah, so you. I don't know, maybe this isn't a job for me. Can't hold them. Oh no, that was quite nice. Oh my god, I'm not afraid. You have to pull the petals off first. You don't a job for me. Can't all of them. Oh no, that was quite nice. Oh my god, I'm not afraid.

You have to pull the petals off first. You don't throw the entire flower. Just the smallest part. Just the fun bits. Right, right, right, right. I'm just going to leave them here. I have taken care of them. You can practice. I'll practice all night, I swear to god.

Please don't replace me. It's all you. Can I drink beforehand? A little. Yeah. Yeah. Inevitably. Right. Do I get a title for this prestigious honor?

Grand Poobah of Flowers and Doinks. That's quite good. It's magical. It's quite good. It's magical. It's going to be a magical day. All right. Grand Poobah. I will do you right. Thank you.

All right, we'll see you tonight at the Russell. That could have gone worse. Yeah, yeah. It was great, actually. All right. Oh, right. As was great, actually. All right. Oh, all right. As they leave and walk down the hall,

passing Keyleth's room, Darragh is standing outside guard. Lord and Lady DeRollo. Hmm? Darragh, yes? Sorry if this is being presumptuous. The voice of the Tempest is working on your speech. I'm hearing things get thrown around a little bit, but I'm sure it's going to be fine.

I just wanted to. Stick it off! You hear from behind the door. Sounds right. She's a very wise leader. We know. But wedding aside, and I'm sorry, I'm under the understanding that this is a renewal of vows.

Yes, you're already? It was more or less a... No, darling, we've been living in sin this entire time. Oh, well, everyone lives in sin in Zephra, so. But I wanted to congratulate you. You've just had a child. Yes. You have that tired look in your eye.

I have four. I have three triplets, girls. Triplets? Three triplets, girls. Triplets? Three triplets. Not three sets. Just a set of triplets. They all look alike. They run me ragged.

Three girls, they have a little brother, and this tired look, I see it in yours, so I just wanted to say welcome to the club. Thank you. And congratulations. Thank you. And congratulations. Thank you. It's so kind to call a bride tired. The day before she can marry.

You have 24 hours. Also, I met your brother. What? Your brother, I met your brother. What? Your brother, I met your brother. He was a good man. When did you meet Vax? Oh, well, he lived with the Tempest for a year. Oh, I mean, yes.

Obviously. I'm sorry. I've overstepped my bounds. Loads. I know that he would wish he could be here. And I'm sorry as well. Well, we wish he was here as well. Pardon me. Well, I'm going to take my sandal out of my mouth

and check on the Tempest, excuse me. You hear a brief bit of Keyleth cursing as the door opens temporarily. Goddamnit, writing! I think with that sound that I need a drink. Yeah. If you would care to accompany me. You guys head to the Perfect Pearl?

The Perfect Pearl. The Perfect Pearl, okay. As you make your way through the hallways between the various separate little bungalow-like homes that sit on this beachfront, you walk around towards the front of the Perfect Pearls. You see two figures walking in from the deeper sands towards the waters. You see wide-brimmed hat, a tall human woman with blonde hair, braids pulled tightly back as she wears a comfortable swimsuit, and a small halfling girl, darker skin, light brown hair, wearing a similar type bathing suit,

who's clutching a large tankard that is quite big in her hand as they both approach, look over and wave, and begin to rush up towards it and see Allura comes up and goes, my goodness, you've already arrived, and goes and gives a big hug to you. How long have you been here? Oh, well, we decided to arrive a few days earlier. We don't get to this side of Exandria very often.

And Kima hasn't actually been to Shaman Bay before. Oh, Kima. Are you enjoying it? She's holding, she's going, are you kidding me? This is great. It's warm all the time. I don't really go swimming often,

not much of a swimmer, to be honest, but I can float. And I can paddle. And I can drink. And everything here is sweet and fruity, I love it. Yeah, it's wonderful. So you're finally going to make an actual honest woman out of this one? Well, there's nothing to be done about that,

but at the very least, we're cementing some titles. I can respect that. So for the dinner tonight? Mm. We have drinks, right? Yes, so many. Of course. Kegs and kegs and all the whatever you want. It's all Whitestone. Nothing this sweet, right?

Nothing this sweet. A couple things that sweet, but not everything that sweet. It's a couple things that sweet, but not everything that sweet. All right, all right. She finishes whatever she has. Well, I guess let's start getting ready. I need a shower. She grabs Allura's hand and begins walking off.

Allura's like, oh, all right, well, we'll join you in a bit then. They both head off towards their chamber. Well, I'm exhausted. I'm already tired and it's not even happened yet. Told you. I think we will have that drink then. Going to go in and get us both something sweet. Okay.

And very, very vacation-y. Easy enough to find. Talon's Closet specializes in various twists on Marquesian alcoholic beverages, many of which are mixed with many tropical fruits that are found in the vicinity of the northern shores of Marquette. They do have some more imported harder liquors

and wines as well, but they're a bit pricey for what they are, but this particular bar specializes in things that'll give you a headache the next morning. Mm. I don't want a headache. Let's have some fizzy water afterwards. Okay, okay.

We can make our way around them. It'll be fine. Okay. Do you guys want to relax for the remainder of the evening, eventually? It gets a bit cloudy, like marine layer begins to roll in. It's a gloomier night, or afternoon, but you do have a druid who can control weather, so at least when it comes time to the actual event.

I mean, everyone needs a druid at their wedding. I would've loved to have had a druid. We worked out okay, we worked out okay. Oh, it was great. It was nice. We were a little worried leading up to it. Same. He was writing the letter. Nevertheless, you have your drinks.

No, I'd probably be paranoid enough that I'd be keeping an eye on it. As soon as Marilair would come in, I'd be like, . Just fucking gusts after gusts after gusts. You're just like, That's right, voice of the Tempest. All right.

So eventually, the sun begins to take the sky from its blue and gray to purples and oranges, and that, you know, is the queue to begin assembling for the rehearsal dinner. As you all begin to slowly piecemeal your way towards the event location, you can already see the small torches and candelabras are already lit, the tables are set, and some of your guests are already beginning to assemble

and talk amongst themselves. You can see amongst them currently, you see Terry is already arranged in mid-conversation with the glorious Gilmore in a beautiful gold and silver and white robe that dangles, billows past his arms. You haven't seen him outside of Much Purple. This is dressed properly for the wedding.

You see Kym and Allura have already situated a place where they're going to sit. You see Jaret, you see Cassandra has arrived. The Vassar family is currently present. But as you all begin to approach, you can see Zayna quickly steps up to approach. She goes, hello, welcome, thank you so much for coming. If you would like to sit down, there are some gifts

that have arrived for the evening and the event tomorrow, and then we can begin the rehearsal. Oh. Well, of course. Great, yes, kids. Gifts, I suppose. I love gifts. Wait, wait, wait, I reach in my pocket and I bring out a bunch of flower petals and I start.

You keep going. Thank you, Grog. It's a backup. Good practice. Oh, wow. I said backup! Go ahead, whenever you're ready. Thank you, I start stepping on the floor. This is going to be fun.

Do you get to open your presents now? I don't know, I don't know how it goes. Well, you're all about protocol, what do you do? Technically, I suppose we could if they have arrived early, then there wouldn't be any particular problem with it. They are for the event and the rehearsal, I think. They're not packaged presents, they're just

gifts from folks who could not be here, I think. One, and you see Zayn goes to the list, one is from a Nostoc Greyspine of Kraghammer. Oh, yes, yes. And has provided these, and points across the table, says, sets of polished mithril utensils for the event and for the keeping of Whitestone and its people. Good use of mithril.

That's exciting. They also have a number of cases of Stassmin's Truskin Sunrise White and Red Wines from Camorda of Wildemount sent by Realmseer Eskilrein Darien. Ooh. Very thoughtful. As you would know, these wines are super,

they're pretty expensive, they're 60 to 70 gold a bottle. Whoa! Both white and red. So these are for the rehearsal tonight and for the event tomorrow, if you would like. Nevertheless, please sit and I am, my post is finished. She steps back. Of course, of course. If you need anything, let me know. I'll just be right over finished. She steps back. Of course, of course.

If you need anything, let me know. I'll just be right over there. And points over, there's a small chair situated by the nearest cluster of palm trees where she sits and just awaits for any sort of additional instruction. As the sun begins to just slowly vanish over the horizon, you can see it turning a bright red.

Everyone begins to assemble and find their seats. Crack open some of that red, will ya? Yeah. I don't see why not. I make my way over to Dackard. Dackard? Sure, Dackard's good. Hey, Dackard.

That's me. Hey, you look like a quite capable fellow. Well, I'm not half your size, but I do all right. So tell me, as this is an evaluation process, what is the most amazing thing you've ever slayed? Are you about to attack me? No, no, no. Look, I just want to make sure,

if you're in charge of Arkeliath, and you can handle yourself. I have been tasked with a very important role, so I cannot keep my eyes on the swivel like I normally would. Understood. Well, you know the voice of the Tempest. She can turn into just about anything.

Yeah. Pretty well handle herself. Yeah. My being here is more of a formality, really, than a real use, but I have slain a behir. Oh shit. Yeah. Oh man, we saw one of those back at OG days. Oh man. All by yourself?

There were a couple of us. I left the charge. I've heard about you. I've heard about all of you. What have you heard? Oh. Hi. Oh, hi. Yes, hi, I'm down here. I know everyone in Zephryn knows about you all.

The voice of the Tempest has told us some, but you must know by now, word of you lot have spread across the continent. Well, then we're doing our jobs well. Yes. Heroes, that's what they say. The Tempest has told me that you guys can kind of be a pack of assholes. Yeah, that sounds more appropriate, actually.

I don't know about the first part. Yeah, question, do you always call her Tempest, Voice of the Tempest, Tempy? Like, do you have a nickname or a shorthand? Big T. Tempest, usually. There isn't any one. Sometimes we use Kateake, but that's situational. Wow. Deep cut.

He's passing, he's blowing, he's killing this interview right now, I'm just saying. You said that you work for her. Does it just work? Or are you, you know? I'm a married man with four kids, yes, it is just work. You've got four kids? Wow. Yeah.

Man. See the bags under my eyes? Yeah. You've got four kids. A handful. Yeah. What's your favorite kind of weapon? Pulls out sort of a out-of-world Roman-style blade. Gladius. Yeah.

Oh, baby. And he gives it a spin, and it is fucking sharp as hell, and you hear it go through the air. Take its day. How about magic? Do you have any magic on you? Don't have any of that. Don't understand it, don't want to understand it.

It's super complicated. I've got one skill, one application. All right. Keep the chief alive. Sure. The chief, now that's a good nickname. Yeah. I like that. Chief T.

Chief Keef. I like that, can I use that? You may, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Chief Keef. Kee that? You may, yeah. Chief Keef. Nice blend.

Oh man, I'm remembering a joke from three days ago. No, no, no. That's not for this show. No. No. I think he can stay. Oh, well, you're in luck, because when Grog meets a new person, it's 50-50 whether they live or die.

Yep, a lot of time they die. Do you know what Chief T has told me? That you can sing like a devil. Is that the case? I have been known to make some music in my days, yes, that's true. I have been known to make some music in my days, yes, that's true. I have been looking forward to, I mean, this is a wedding, I assume you're singing.

Is that the case? I would assume so. I mean, it's pretty, everyone's going to be singing. He very, not Sully, goes, yes. Cool, cool. Yeah, maybe I'll even write a song for you, Derek. Cool. Yeah. Maybe I'll even write a song for you, Darragh. That's, I mean, you can if you want,

but that's totally not necessary. He's very humble. I like him. Wow. Hello, Darragh. Oh, the Everlight. Oh. I've heard all about you.

Well, I haven't heard anything about you, so. This is Darragh, he slayed a behere with a couple of folks, he's got a gladius sword, it's real sharp, and he works for Chief Tea Keep. Well, what are your intentions with her? Yeah, what are your intentions with her? Yeah, what are your intentions with her? Just to keep her alive. I'm a bit of a new hire, I'm sorry.

She's only been back for a relatively short amount of time, and it's only been the last three or four months that I've been taking on. She's been running the circuit, going all over the globe on diplomacy, I can't say much, but diplomacy missions, and I've been there just sort of as prop muscle, really. Do you love her?

You just got here. I have three girls and a son, and... You got four kids? I have four kids and a wife I love very much, and a son. You got four kids? I have four kids and a wife I love very much, but no. Boy, that's a handful. Yeah. So you're married? Yes. How long have you been married?

47 years. Wow. That's a long time. You look so young. He not subtly rubs his slightly pointed half-elven ears. Well, you protect her with your life, so. That's the job.

I know, but sometimes people don't actually take that seriously. I'm going to go get a drink. Do you need any help with that? Sure. Yeah. The servants, in the process, they've opened a number of the really fine red and white wines and are starting to fill the glasses.

You guys see them over to the side, pouring just a little bit in each glass. Would you like me to fill your glasses, well? Yeah, but do it the right way. Hey, this pipe's cut first. Well, this is the top, and so you have to pour it to that. Yeah.

Of course, of course. Oh man. Oh my god. Keep pouring, keep pouring. Yeah, keep going. On the top, on the top. Oh shit! Yeah, drink it. Drink it, yeah. Yeah, that's a good number.

Yeah. And would you like some as well, sir? I'm sorry, is there a space between there and the top? Yeah, that's right, keep going, yeah, that's right. Aerate those, though, please. I think that's the best way. Very important. No, I'm going to wait for the ale, thank you very much.

We don't have any ale. What? We have wine. I would like any ale. What? We have wine. I would like some ale. What do you mean you don't have ale? It was not part of the requests for the wedding. It was proper wine, so I'm sorry. I don't like fruity drinks, though.

Listen to me, what is your name? My name is Najid. Najid. Yes. You need to do whatever you can. You need to go whatever tavern you need to go to, and you need to get 25 casks of ale. Yeah. That's just for tonight.

Yeah, five, 25. I would do my best. It might take a while. Here's some money. And rushes off. What'd you say? It's okay, it's okay. I think he's going to go try to find some. I can't believe they don't have any ale here.

I'm going to try to fix it. I feel like I'm on an island with no water. No, it's okay. You can try this. You might like it, you might not. It's good, it's good. It smells like food. It's still, it's good. It smells like food. It's still like food.

Oh, it's like drinking flowers. Yeah, it is like drinking flowers. Yeah, it's got hints of earth and blackberry and lava rock and... Oh my god. You have a pen? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, we never knew. He's a sabbat. Holy shit! Well, we'll get him a glass of that just for now.

Somebody else comes up and... Bloop, bloop, bloop. Thank you. Thank you so much. I tip him. Hmm. Did you want for more, sir? No, relax.

He walks away. Cheers, Grog. Cheers. Oh my god. All righty. So everyone has their wines poured for the toast. Everyone begins to find their seats. All your friends and family surround you. The immediate folks that were invited

to be part of the rehearsal. The sun has set. The marine layer settles in, but the torches and the lights around keep it warm. This cozy little space here on the beach. Trinket has a little bed right next to the main table. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

All right. Yeah, and he's got one pink bow on him. He's so weird. A little bowl of just all sorts of random meat assortments. Yeah. And a hat for some stranger. Sorry.

Where'd you get the hats? Where'd he get the bowl of meat? Who would like to begin the rehearsal? Everybody got nervous. How do we start? Hey, look, it wasn't my choice to do this. You guys set this shit up. How do we start our rehearsal?

Oh! Oh! Speech, speech, speech! Hello, everybody. Most of you probably know me, but for those who don't, I'm Keyleth. Tee-tee! Yes, indeed!

You say Gilmore like, clap. Those are my friends at the back. We go way back. So I am the best man to Percy. Sorry, you got to pull up my magical notes here. You see, I actually wasn't asked to write a speech or be Percy's best man until literally hours ago, which probably says more about me than it does Percy, now that I think about it. But here we are. It's only because it was assumed, darling. We just said something. Oh, it's fine. I just get nervous. But you know, kind of miss your impulsive side. You know, back

when you had a smoke monster in you and you were attached to that. Which isn't a, oh, this is so stereotypical. Other drink over here, please. Okay. In all honesty, Percy is the closest thing that I've ever had to a brother, and Vex is most definitely the closest thing that I could ever want for a sister.

And all of Vox Machina is my chosen family, which, not to disreal family, but I feel like is a little bit more empowered because you made that choice. And I will honor that choice. From now, forever, and whichever plane we all end up on, I guess. To the bride and groom.

To the bride and groom. To the bride and groom! To the bride and groom! Mazel tov! Who's next? Oh. Maybe me, if you're doing speeches. Hello! Of course. Hi.

That was a lovely speech, Keyleth. Hi, Terry. I shouldn't try and be funny. You were wonderful. You know, it's not a competition, but I am an esteemed author, so I prepared a little bit of a speech ahead of time. As a note real fast,

technically everyone gets temporary hit points. Yes! So it's your level plus your charisma bonus, right? Yep. Hit points. So you get 20, just 20. Everyone gets 20 temporary hit points from Bummer's inspiring leader beat. Oh my god, I only need a few more to get 300.

Drunk Brand's main speech. Oh my god. 300? I a few more to get 300. Drunk Brand's main speech. Oh my god. 300? I just need seven more. Speech again! All right, Dottie, I need the piece of paper, please. Terry. Thank you.

Dottie has a tailored suit also over. All right. Settle in and prepare to be dazzled. Doty, take this step. Do not read that part. Okay. Wow. I, Terryan Gary Darrington, have been awarded many honors.

My life and career, the honor of serving as a full member of the mighty Vox Machina, the honor of leading the even mightier Darrington Brigade, the many honors and awards I have received as an acclaimed author. Side note, my suitcase is full of copies of my latest book, Blonde on Blonde, an Authorized of a legend. If you want a signed copy, see me later. But the highest honor I have ever received in my short and exciting life has been that of standing beside my best friend and favorite late-night gossip buddy, Vex'ahlia, as her man of honor. Vex, you and I have something in common.

When I met your husband, I too was spitten by him. As a friend, of course. We bonded over science. And... Science can explain so much, but it can't explain everything. For instance, when Percy kisses you at dusk, physics can explain the beautiful colors that paint the sky. When your heart beats faster as he approaches, biology can explain why. Engineering can help him master the inner workings of a complicated clock so that he knows what time it is to make you dinner when you're coming home. But the one thing science cannot explain is the mysteries of passion. When he aims his gun,

doesn't a small part of you get jealous for the target, for stealing his attention for just a moment? When you call him darling, I've seen his hand tremble as if it knows no word more magical than that one. Your love for each other has crossed continents, pierced dimensions, traversed planes of existence. You have stood in the face of gods, literal gods, and yet Percy's face is the one burned in your head at night when you lay down to rest. Yes, science brought Percy and I together, but love is what brought you and he together. It will sustain both of you as well as your many, many fancy children for eternity.

Do we understand love? No. There's no need. But large or small, cunning or naive, rich or poor, all of us at this wedding cherish it. And so a toast to me for making an excellent speech. Hear, hear! Hear, hear! Hear, hear!

Oh, Derry! Aye, Grog. I'm going to go throw up now. Don't scream. No! Well done. I would have never known. At which point, Allura pipes up.

Are there any more speeches to be had? I think that's it. It's a small group. So tonight? Very well. Then she looks over towards the coordinator and the coordinator goes, then it is time for the food. All right, and then begins to bring the meals out

and setting the tables. I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw for me. Yeah! Are we being poisoned by the fish? No one's eaten yet. Oh no. Oh no. Uh-oh.

Ooh, natural 20. What? What is it with you and one shot? Disadvantage on you, Pike, actually. What? Disadvantage for you. Disadvantage for me? Yeah, constitution saving.

16. 16. 11. I was thinking we're getting drunk. 21. Nine. 10. 32. Wow.

As the food's going out, you watch as members of the wedding party begin to get a little drowsy. The wine. They begin to lull their heads a bit and look a bit confused. Percy, you look across at Vex'ahlia, and both of you lock eyes as your vision begins to fuzz and fade, the tunnel vision closing. Eventually, you hear the as chairs fall back. Whole stools stumble back into sand as the majority of the entire party present

at this rehearsal dinner fall unconscious, stabilized at zero hit points. Oh shit! That is all of you, except for Grog and Dirk. Ah! Oh my god! You both, however, are poisoned for the next hour. Hour.

All of us are down? All of you are at zero hit points and stabilized. Shit! Wow! Oh fuck! While you both are fine, you're not unconscious, but you're poisoned. Oh god.

You watch as the servers suddenly start looking around nervously. One of them who may have snuck a drink begins to fall over and the bottle of wine shatters across one of the table edges. Scanning the entire area for any incoming threat. Perception check for both of them. One looks out of place.

Is it a disadvantage because of the poison? I can't remember. Poison is disadvantage two. All attack rolls and ability check, so yes, disadvantage on your perception check. Oh shit. Shit! It was good and then it wasn't. Yeah, same. 12.

Much less. Three. All right. As you guys look out, your vision is completely obfuscated by the pulsing of this toxin in your veins. As you look across, you see other members. You see Gilmore stand up from his chair and go, What's going on?

And falls back into the sand. You see Kima currently trying to wake Allura up. Allura shaking her, and even she's like, You look back and watch as fog, heavy fog is rolling in from the ocean, and then hits the beach, like a heavy wind just carries this mist that suddenly engulfs the entirety of this beach side.

Cold air and moisture hits your face as your vision is suddenly clouded up to a distance of about 15 to 20 feet. Do a guard, watch out. Shadows begin to move quickly amongst the fog. Trinket's weak, too, Efrain. Make a dis, make a, oh yeah,

Trinket did not drink any wine, so Trinket's fine. As you see the shapes moving quickly in the mist. We're going to go ahead and take a break. Whoa! What? Still so soon? This is crazy. Oh, I guess so.

Wow. What? Oh. We're all going to die before we even get married. So this is how Vox Machina dies. Yeah. Just death saves and you're fucking out. Well, it's stabilized, so you're not taking

death saves at this point, but you are at zero hit points. What if they crit on a zero hit point person? That's two death saves, yeah. If you crit, that's what I'm talking about. Who do I want to save? Hmm. I'll take bribes at the break. It's the best wedding I've ever been to.

Holy shit. It's not the wedding yet. Oh, you're right. Ites at the break. It's the best wedding I've ever been to. Holy shit. It's not the wedding yet. Oh, you're right. It's just the rehearsal. So we'll pick up here in a few minutes while we take a break. And we'll see you guys in a second. The wedding's a joy. Hello, Critters.

This is Ashley Johnson, president of the Critical Role Foundation, our 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission that might sound familiar, to leave the world better than we found it. We partner with other nonprofits to raise funds supporting causes that mean a lot to us. And we allocate 10% of all donations to an emergency relief fund that allows us to provide immediate assistance in the case of natural disasters or other unexpected emergencies that require quick action. To learn more about the Critical Role Foundation and to donate, visit criticalrolefoundation.org. And welcome back. So, last we left off, most of the wedding party present for the rehearsal dinner began to grow woozy before falling unconscious, stabilized at zero hit points, while those who had

enough physical constitution to remain conscious find themselves poisoned and trying to take in what's happening in their surroundings. Yeah, and I wait. themselves poisoned and trying to take in what's happening in their surroundings. Get hit by weight. As the heavy fog rolls in and completely obfuscates the seaside vicinity of this event. What's going on? So we have both Duerig and Grog, what are you guys doing? Entrick it. Entrick it.

Where is the voice of the Tempest in comparison to Duerig? You're right next to her. Right next to her, so, and the shadows are coming out from the water? No, they're like. Fuck my name. They're everywhere. You actually don't know,

because you rolled really shitty perception. Yeah, I have no idea, so Blade is out, and I'm holding an action for the moment that someone tries to attack the voice of the Tempest. Okay. I close on the bridal party as well. the voice of the Tempest. Okay. I close on the bridal party as well. I close on the bride and groom. Bride and groom?

Okay. Trinket's pushing my face, wondering why I'm not really here. So we move around over here. And were they coming generally from the direction of the water or from multi-direction? From multi-direction is what you can see in the vicinity. Yeah, I'm sure everybody here has nice, but I'm here for a job. All right.

You see a figure come quickly within range of the two of you from behind, like just along where the water edge is, warping around. Both of you guys are holding your actions, so you get your attack. Okay, so I will attack and I will spend a superiority die, because I'm a battlemaster. Battlemaster, what is that?

And I will do a goading attack. A goat attack? A goat attack. Ah! That is a 22 to hit. 22 to hit definitely hits. Okay, so goading attack, whatever this thing is, has to make a wisdom save, 18.

I'm on the cold, hard ground. Ah! That is a fail. Fail, so whatever this thing has, disadvantage on all attacks against anything but me. You got it. Right now. Should I roll damage on that, or should I go to the next sword? No, go ahead and roll damage.

Okay, that is... Ah! 16 plus the superiority die. Well, brand new character, brand new rules. 16 plus, ooh, that's 24 total. 24, nice. With my Vorpal Sword. Ooh!

I do! Cool! Hope I get a 20. Second is not a 20, it is a 28. But it's better than the first roll. Because I rolled the next one. Yes, that's all that matters, right? 28. That is roll damage. Yes, that's all that matters, right? 28. That is 16 damage.

16 points of damage on the second strike. You have your third attack, right? Ooh! You have your third attack, so you're a fighter of 75. Oh, I have three now? Yeah. Oh man, so many classes. What were you doing this whole time?

This is great. Oh, 15 again, so that definitely hits. Yeah, roll damage to number 10. Vorpal, Vorpal, Vorpal, Vorpal, Vorpal. Amy Vorpal. That is a 15. 15, so as soon as you see a shape just swing by across the back,

you immediately cut through. The figure turns to the side and you see a humanoid about your size wrapped in dark gray and black clothing, face obscured, fall to the ground, and turn back towards you, looking in your direction as part of the goading attack and is now focused. You can see the eyes narrowed and angrily in your direction.

Give it a couple spins. Correct. I need you guys to roll initiative. Yeah! Oh shit. Now to roll initiative. Oh shit. All of us? One, zero, zero. Now you roll initiative if you wake up. Somebody has to get you up, though.

Okay. Does Trinket roll initiative? Trinket does, yes. Of sweet advantage. Mm. Okay. Yeah, great. All right, so 15, 25 to 20.

20 to 15. 18. 18. 17. You're awake? No, I'm not. You don't do shit? Wait. Don't roll unless you come to consciousness. 17.

You enter the combat stream once you are conscious. You're awake? What'd you get? Trinket's awake. Oh. Okay. Still 17. Did you roll a Scanlan and a Tarion? I could, but I don't have the stats for Tarion,

so I'm going to just. Terry passed out. He'd be drinking. He passed out from the speed. All right, so. This has nothing to do with the water. Grog and Trinket actually go first. So the figure that moved behind is there and is currently now

head up to that side right there. All right, so top of it. Grog and Trinket, what are you guys doing? Clearly, I would like to rage. Trinket's going to run up and attack him from one side so that Grog can flank him. All right, going to go around, you mean? Yeah.

Like jumps over? Yeah. All right. Yeah, open up that other side for me, please. Flowers everywhere. You got it. Yeah, I'd like to make both attacks reckless. Go for it.

Yeah, but I'll take the first one, No Great Weapon Master. Yeah. But I'll take the first one, no Great Weapon Master. Yeah, okay. That is, Jesus, that's a lot. I gotta remember to do math. 20, 26. That hits. Great. That'll be the first one.

That hits. 20, 21, 22. Jeez louise. That's 19. That's four, 20, 25, that's huge. Plus four, 20. 22 points of slashing damage. Ooh! The figure falls down to one knee

and is looking pretty hurt. I will do the second one with Great Weapon Master. Reckless. Same thing. 23 minus five, 18. 18 hits, good revenge. All right. Two, 12, no, 18. 18 hits, going to roll damage. All right. Two, 12, no, 13. Plus four, 17, 27.

27 points of slashing damage. 27 points of slashing damage. You go ahead and hack through. The figure falls to the ground, turns to mist. Uh, uh, uh, uh, Dimitri, they turned to mist when I hit him. You just completely misted. That finishes your turn.

Trinket as well. Is there anybody else to attack? Right now you don't see the mist is too strong, which actually I should have had that coming. Oh, here it comes, here it comes. Trinket's going to hold his attack for anybody that comes near him. He's going to guard his mama. You got it.

All right. So, if you guys finish your turns, the mist encompassing the space here, you hear some movement around, just darting figures. The one here that was turned to mist just begins to drift off and disappears into the surrounding fog that has encompassed the beach side. You look so good on the beach.

All right. We've got to start waking people up. That brings us to Dereck. Dereck will drop to one knee and shake the voice of the Tempest in an attempt to wake her. All right, go ahead and make a Medicine check. Medicine check.

Good roll. 17. A 17, you go ahead and look down at her, grab some quick herbs that you keep in your pouch just for this sort of occasion, crush them and hold them under her nose, and we'll say he brings you to one hit point to come to consciousness.

Up, up, we got to move. Go ahead and roll your initiative, please. 12. 12, all right. Does the plate of the Dawnmarter do anything? Are you wearing the plate armor to the? Probably not. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Still we have a woman.

So no, unfortunately. All right, top of the round. Good point, good point. Grog, trinket. I need to be on the helmet. Can we see? He's going to go over and lick Vex's face to try to wake her up. Grog?

Can we see anything? You staying there and looking around? Well, I mean, no, I'll move. Perception check if you want to stay there and look. But that's my action, right? Yeah. Who the fuck did that shit? No, I'll run over and I'll jump if you want to stay there and look. But that's my action, right? Yeah. Who the fuck did that shit? No!

I'll run over and I'll jump up on that middle table. Over here? Yeah. You fucks! Do I see anything? You do, you see another figure over here that is just darting through and sees you and jumps up to engage. Ramioli!

And I'll make two reckless attacks at him. Okay. So you're in range there. Oh, so close to a natural 20, but it was cocked. That's fine. That's a 34. That hits. Okay.

No great weapon master on that one, so that is five, 11. 16 plus four, 20 points of slashing damage. Nice. The second one, great weapon master, reckless. 17. No, that's not good. 19. Oh, that's going to miss, I bet. 14 to hit.

14? Yeah. Misses. Yeah. You go swing, this first strike goes through and you watch as a dark blood spatters across the beach side sand on the ground. The creature looks up at you.

Now close up, seeing its eyes burn with a bright red rage, they glow like pinpoints of burning coal. The fuck? Then that, you swing a second time and the creature seems like dodge out of the way with an inhuman speed. It shook me. All right. All right.

Trinket rushes up to find that Vex isn't there. And neither is Percy. What? They've stolen the bride and groom. No. Oh no. I fucking said it, and then I fucking. Vespa! Trinket goes.

And just starts freaking out in space, unable to see where you went. Trina goes and just starts freaking out in space, unable to see where you went. Oh no. So for the purposes of this fight, you are both out. I said it at the fucking break and then I didn't stick to my shit. I got distracted by the smoke midges. With that, it stick to my shit. I got distracted by the smoke midges.

With that, it comes to their turn. This one leaps up onto the table next to Grog. I'm getting a spencer, this one moves in here, so they're both flanking you. They're both going to attack you. Two attacks, both with claws. I make an advantage. They do.

So the first claw attack, their fingers have these like. Claws? Yeah. Red eyes and claws. The first one is 19 to hit. That's spicy. That hits, all right. So you take, from the claws, from the one that's right behind you that just jumped up and just rakes into your back.

That is, ooh! Two fours on 2d4. 11 points of slashing damage reduced to five. Right. And you are grappled. Okay. In the other attack, it's going to be... Ooh, nice, 21.

That hits. That hits you. Suddenly, after you hear the claw on your back, grabs you, and then you feel this sharp pain in your neck as the creature bites into the side of your shoulder and throat. First miniature of the vampire. All right, you take three points of piercing damage, it was six, reduced to three.

Okay. Then you also suffer, ooh, nine points three points of piercing damage, it was six, reduced to three. And then you also suffer, woo, nine points of necrotic damage, and your maximum hit points are reduced by nine. Oh shit, okay. So that's the full nine and then hit points, good, okay. Thank god for those temporary hit points. The other one goes with its claws, first strike, end.

Misses, that's going to be 15. Misses you. Second claw attack against you, natural 20. That hits. A 10 and a natural 20. So you take, oh, that's d4, sorry. All right. 15 points of damage reduced to a seven,

so seven points of slashing damage from there. And that finishes their turn. The one you had struck earlier, you watch the wounds begin to heal up a bit. No! All right, brings it to Keyleth and Derek. You guys have both 12 initiatives. Tempest first. All right.

Where's Pike? I can't see her in the fog. Can I, I want to look and see if I can find Pike. Okay, so you stand up? Yep. You get up in place, attack your movement, 15 feet. Do I see her over the table there? I do, can I do some tempest shit as I get up?

Tempest shit. Do a little air gust, or will that burn my entire action? That is a cantrip, use to gust cantrip. It's your action to do that. Up to you. Can I see Pike? Right now, you can see about 15 feet. You see Scann at your feet, you see Darragh in front of you,

and you see Trinket behind you. You do not immediately see Pike at a quick glance. Which of those two did you? I don't immediately see her. You know where she was sitting, so you could move. You have 15 feet of movement still. I know where she was? Yeah, you guys are all sitting.

You know where the arrangement is at the table. Okay, I'll try and head towards her. Okay, on top of the table or through the window? Whatever's quickest. I can climb on a table. Okay, so you would leap up onto this table, and there you can see Keyleth on the ground, unconscious. Okay, I'm going to.

Oh, I forgot, remember Grog. Fine for now, you're poisoned. All right. So even with reckless, you're drawing a single attack roll. Copy that. Without reckless, you're at disadvantage. And same for you, Derek.

That's my fault for forgetting that. I'm going to reach over to you. We'll say now the poison kicks in even harder, and now you're feeling the detrimental effects of it. I'm going to reach over to Pike and cast Greater Restoration on her. In the hopes that that gets her up. Greater Restoration?

Yeah. Okay. As you cast the spell, focus on her body. You hope that whatever may have been within her body is cleansed. Okay. I think that's all I can do for right now. You have bonus actions, though, if you want. Oh, I'll bonus action Healing Word, then.

Because that is a bonus action spell. That is, all right, so go ahead and use it. And I'll get Pike Up. Old campaign rules. Old campaign. Ah! Well, no, Healing go ahead and use the help. And I'll get Pike up. Old campaign rules. Old campaign. Well, no, Healing Word is a bonus item spell. For healing? It's one plus my druid level, right?

No, it's 1d4 plus your wisdom modifier. Oh, plus my wisdom modifier. I know, it's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. Seven. Got it, David. You have seven hit points, Pike. There you go. That's our a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. You have seven hit points, Pike.

There you go. That's our wedding song. It is now, it is now. Pike, you gain seven hit points, you come to consciousness on the ground, and you need to roll initiative. Okay. And Derry, you're up.

10. 10, all right. Well, Brit. Ew. All right. Ew. Your turn, Darragh. Okay, I'm going to advance on the being closest to me that's attacking Grog.

You rush up, you can just see the figure move out of the shadows. It's in the 15 feet of you, so the fog is completely enclosing your vision. You rush up, you can just see the figure move out of the shadows, but it's in the 15 feet of you, so the fog isn't completely enclosing your vision. You rush up, blade ready. Yeah, so it gets a spin as I go, and I'm going to attack the bastard three times. First one is an 18 plus 13 hits. Yep.

That is... Oh, yes, that is 17. Nice, 17 points of damage, second attack. Second attack probably whiffs, that's a 16. 16 hits. Okay. That is a 10 damage, and third one. Dang it.

Definitely hits, I rolled a 19, and not that 20 so bad. Two plus nine is 11. 11 points of damage. As you rush up behind it, it's on the back of Grog, like scratching into it, just finished biting into his throat and pulling back. As soon as it turns around and sees you approach,

three large cuts as it carves through. It hisses at you. You can see now the fanged teeth within its mouth, exposed blood now dripping down the front of its jaw. Grog blood? Grog blood. Does such a thing exist? It does.

I will use my, as a shield master, I will use a bonus action to do a shield master shove to try to knock this asshole prone. So he has to make an athletics contest with me. You got it, all right. 15. 20. Yeah. So I take my shield and I just swing it

like a Captain America shield into his shins, try to knock it out from under him, and then I'm going to back towards the Voice of the Tempest and guard. You got it. Stand ready. You got it, all right, cool. So you swing out of the way. Pike, you're up, you're conscious,

you're on the ground still. Okay. I just drank a little bit too much. So I'm going to stand up. Yeah, I'll stand up too. Okay. Look around. You see Keyleth there, and Keyleth is haggard. You're both at one, or you're at seven hit points,

she's at one hit point. You guys are looking real bad. Okay, so I'm going to. You hear combat nearby, some striking blades and some hissing, Grog yelling and raging, but you can't quite see where he is at this distance. I'm fucking here, you bet me!

Okay, so I am going to cast Mass Healing Word. Yeah. Okay. Nice. Up to six creatures, so anybody I can see. I cast Mass Healing Word. Okay. Up to six creatures, so anybody I can see. So. Including Scanlan on the ground still. I mean, everyone else is down. Akeema's actually awake, trying to awake Allura.

She's also like, poisoned as well. Yeah, Allura, Scanlan. For how much? Keyleth, okay, so. Goodness, it's been a minute. Okay, we have four for each slot above 30. Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to cast it at

fourth level, so. 2d4 plus, that's a lot of it. Jesus. It's a big box of dice. I know, Laura's infected the side of the table. Slowly, slowly but surely. Centerpiece. It's nice.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the bride and groom for their first dance, Bansington Stained. 17. 17 hit points to Pike. 17 hit points? No, hold on, hold on, hold on. But if you all, plus your spellcasting's already modifier. That's, you cast with what? Shit.

Sorry, I'm sorry. It's been so long. Okay, so I'm so sorry. It's 11, 11. Okay, 11 points to Keyleth, 11 points to Pike, 11 points to Scanlan, and then 11 points to Kima, Grog, Allura. Wait. No, don't hit me. Allura. Don't hit me, Irog, and Allura. Wait.

No, don't hit me. Allura. Don't hit me, I'm going to give it to somebody else. She doesn't know. Darragh looks hardy. It's her choice. Gilmore's here, right? Gilmore. You don't see Gilmore at the moment, though.

Did I get everybody? Did I get everybody? Sorry, this has been a minute. How about yourself? Did you get yourself? Yeah, I did, I did. All right, so Scanlan, you're up. No! Kima gains plus 17. Yikes. It's a little naughty.

No! And... 11. What's going on? Was what it was. All right, that finishes your turn, Pike. What body is this? Okay, I'm going to actually.

You've used half your movement to get up. You have 15 more feet. That's a bonus action. Oh, you still have your action, then. So, yes. So I'm going to, are there any guys that I can see within range? Actually, you can just see this guy

that got knocked down by Derek that is right next to Grog. I'm going to Guiding Bolt him up to butt. Yeah. Level one, level two. Let's do, let's go level two. All right, level two. Go ahead and roll an attack.

Because he is prone, you do have disadvantage on the attack roll because he's on the ground Let's go to level two. All right, it's level two. Go ahead and roll an attack. Because he is prone, you do have disadvantage on the attack roll, because he's on the ground and harder to see from a ranged attack. Okay. So now you add your spell attack bonus. Oh, ah-ha. I rolled one natural 20, and then I rolled a 17, so 28.

Still hits, go ahead and roll your damage. Okay. Wait, what's Guiding Bolt at? Guiding Bolt. Did I say second level? I think that's five? D6? Sorry, I'm sorry.

We're scary, we're scary now, so. Thank you. Hold on. Hold on, let me pull up my. I'm going to bounce up. It gives you an initial d6, so it's 5d6. Yeah, 5d6. Okay. Yo. Okay.

Ooh. Yo. Okay, so that's 20. It's D&D! D&D, D&D, D&D. Okay, so 24 plus, do you add anything? I'm so sorry. It's still 10 plus?

No, it's just 5d6 radiant. It's 5d6, okay, so 24 points? I'm so sorry. You stole it from us? No, it's just 5d6 radiant. Just 5d6, okay, 24 points of radiant damage. Nice. You blast into it, you see the divine flames burn across its chest and it hisses and struggles on the table, it's back against the wood. It's looking very hurt and it tries to stand back up and you can see its face burning into ash

from the divine power and there's a light now around it that makes the next attack against it with advantage. Cool. Do you want to move or stay where you are? No, I'm going to stay where I am. Okay, you got it. Finishing Pike's turn, now Kima's turn. Kima sees Allura come to consciousness. She's going to pump a shit ton of her lay hands into her.

Going to heal her for 50 hit points. Whoa! She has that many Lay on Hands points? That's crazy. High-level paladin, man. She's just like, Allie, wake up. We need your help. She's coughing from the poison inside.

Turns around, goes ahead, and she doesn't have her blade at her side. You guys kept your weapons because you're Vox Machina. She's going to use her movement to then go ahead and rush over to where all everyone laid their arms at the side and is going to head over to there. Rolling for Allura's initiative.

Okay. Where are the Bride and Grog? Bring us to the top of the round, Grog and Trinket. Oh yeah, I'll turn around on the fucker that just bit me from behind. And because he got Guidon Bolted, I get advantage on that attack, right? You do. Yeah.

So you don't have to do Reckless on that attack. If you want to do Reckless the whole round, you got to still do Reckless. Yeah, I'll do Reckless anyway, because I'm going to spin another fuck behind me. All right, so the guy on the ground, you'll do reckless anyway, because I'm going to spin it on the other fuck behind me. All right, so the guy on the ground, you have a standard roll, because you're still poisoned. Wait, Trinket's going to run up

and attack from the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That way you're flanked, he's flanked. Yeah. There you go. What does that do? Does nothing to him in the circumstance, but Trinket will get bonuses to attack him. If Trinket want to hit first, go for it, yeah.

Ow! All right, go for it. Is that a bonus? Advantage with Trinket on Trinket's attacks, go for it. Yeah! Ooh, that's a crit, Trinket got a crit! Hell yes. Yeah!

Praise to the bear. It's a wedding miracle. He's pissed his mama's gone. Oh my god, wait, so that was, I said he was biting him, right? Yep. So that's 2d6. What?

12 plus four is 16. What? Fighting damage. All right, so Trinket sinks his teeth into this entity, tears into it, the light itself blasting forth from the guiding bolt. It burns away, the creature's looking like it's in a bad, bad place. Do you think they're going to attack?

So he gets two attacks? I don't know. Multi-attack, he gets two attacks! Now he's going to claw him at the same time! He only doesn't get advantage on this one, though. It's flanked, well, it's prone, so yeah, it gets advantage. It's flanked and prone! Natural 20!

This bear is not happy that it can't find its master. He is not going to. That's eight points of fear. How does he want to do this? Vampire heart trigger! This is the second time that the pig has taken out an undead of this caliber. He's going to bite it to him, and then while he's biting his face,

he's going to claw his body and rip him in half. All right, the body tears into two pieces and bumps to the ground and turns into mist, and then it just goes off into the rest of the fog. Nice, you're done, Trig. I'll turn reckless on the guy in front of me, then. Yep. Okay, oh, it was just a straight roll, so. I'll just reckless on the guy in front of me then. Yep. Okay.

Oh, it's just a straight roll, so 24 to hit. 24 to hit hits. And that is seven plus 11, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 points of slashing damage. 22 points of slashing damage. Through with the axe. One straight roll. 12, 15, 27.

27. 27 hits. And eight, 13, 23 points of slashing damage. 23 points of slashing damage. The second axe jams into the creature's chest and is dug into the sternum. Fucking!

Shoves it out of the chest. You catch it backward, and you see the blood pouring out of its wound. Shit. It's looking angry. Okay. But it's looking hurt. Yeah, cool. Is that your turn? Yeah.

All righty. Now, brings it to its turn. It's going to go ahead and, let's see, it's going to attempt to claw you. That is going to be a 19 to hit. Yeah, hit. All right, you do suffer. That is a shitty roll.

Five points of piercing damage reduced to two. Okay. What? Uh-oh. You are grappled, and it's going to attempt to bite you. I'm so sorry, it's so hard. Grappled. Turncron. No. No funeral.

Woo! 24 to hit. That hits. I don't like that. You take eight points of pierced damage, reduced to four. Okay. And you suffer seven points of necrotic damage, and your maximum hit points are reduced by seven.

Copy that. It's going to then go ahead and attempt to run off into the mist. No, you don't. You get an attack of opportunity on it. I do! But not reckless, right? It's a straight roll? Correct,

because you weren't reckless. Reckless is only on your turn anyway. So disadvantage? Disadvantage. Okay. 18. Six, 13, 21. 21 hits, roll damage.

He doesn't have Sentinel, unfortunately. 16, 20 points of slapping, slashing damage, and he fucking sticks right down. Doesn't matter, how do you want to do this? Yes! He bites me in the neck and I say, people, pay for that, and I cut him open. Just tears asunder, both halves into the ground

and into mist. No one ruins my friends' weddings. All right. Friends? You take a moment and listen, the rest of you standing up, coming to consciousness. Is that it? Looking around, you don't see any other shapes moving. The fog still stands.

What happened? What was that? No. Is this fog, I look up, is it cloudy as well, or is it a low-lying fog? It's an entire marine layer has come in over the past hour or so, and now a big, heavy fog has come in over the ocean that has blanketed the scene. We're extremely pissed off with Keyleth's rage

that she tries to keep contained. I slam and I storm levitate up in the air and get rid of the marine layer and clear it out. Okay, with? Control weather. Control weather. You watch as Keyleth rises up off the ground, the hair floating, not held by gravity as the wind whips around her.

The chairs fall over each other, pull into a small localized tornado beneath her. As she raises her hands in the air, you watch as the mist suddenly vanishes from around and begins to push it away. The marine layer begins to pull back. Any ships? Yeah. Looking at all of it.

Let me look at the specifics here. Wait, it's gone. How did you do it? I'm clearing it, and I think control weather stretches a mile radius. It takes 10 minutes to cast, though. Okay, well, I start clearing it out. So she starts casting, and it lasts,

yeah, and it's a five-mile radius. Whoa! So as Keyleth's up there, slowly concentrating, you watch the marine layer begins to just blow back, the fog begins to dissipate, and the entirety of the vicinity of Shamal Bay begins to just be cleared of this thick fog that had rolled in. And while she's doing this, what are the rest of you doing?

Are there any ships in the water? There aren't any ships nearby. There are ships over in the bay. You guys, Dallin's Closet is not right next to the bay. It's probably about, I'd say, a mile and a half, two miles, if not further, from the very, very edge of Shmuel Bay specifically, so it's just beachside at this point, there's no docks or anywhere for a ship

to even come close to the beach, and you don't see anything that's moored or anchored off of the shore. Darragh is letting the legendary Vox Machina solve this mystery and is just circling Keyleth, looking for threats. Hey, hey, legendary Vox Machina, where are the bride and groom? What do you mean? They're gone.

They're gone. They were at the head table there, the table number one. The one that I should have been at. Can we head over and see where they fell? Are there any foot plin footprints, plinths, leading in a direction? Wait, wait, we need Vex as our tracker. We don't have.

Can you cast Mask of Cure Wounds? Derek, do you track? Are you a tracker? Can you track? I can cut things open. You can't track. Keyleth, you're nature-y. Can you track?

She's in the process of casting. Oh shit! She's fucking going Jean Grey over there. Let's just relax for a second. 20 points of healing. To who, everybody? Can you track, Pike? Do you have tracky abilities?

No. All right, it's up to you, man. I'll start scanning the sand and seeing if I can spot any kinds of tracks that work on the crime scene. I'll inspire you with the song that I wrote for you that I was going to sing later, but now I'm going to sing it to you now. Derek the Brave is married to his wife. He's always tired from his four tykes. He has tattoos and he owns a sword. That's all I know and nothing more. The boring ballad, the boring ballad, the boring ballad of Darig. There's a second verse if you need it, but... Lay it on me. I start in the sand. He calls our friend the Tempest, or chief.

His sword goes into a back sheath. Oh, Jesus. He still points and somebody punched him. He can make three attacks and never four. That's all I know of him, nothing more. The boring ballad. The boring ballad. The boring ballad, the boring ballad, the boring ballad of daring.

I just rolled a natural 20 on my backstab. Yeah! Really? Yes. All right, so this is your survival check. Yes. Do you want to add his inspiration to it, or do you want to? Sure, yes. What do I get to add to my natural 20?

Add a d12 to it. Absolutely. Which one is it? It's that big round one. Nine to the 20. 29 on a natural 20. Do you know how many bonuses to survival? Oh, I'm sure I do. What's that? Seven, so 36. What, seven?

36. VALORANT. VALORANT. As he's singing the song, and the mist begins to dissipate from Keyleth's slow storm wave that's pushing it away. You glance down and can see there's all sorts of footfalls

from the people that were arriving to the event to the members of the wedding party to the folks that were pouring the drinks, but you begin to see heavy footprints that are dragging a bit and heading to the right along the beach in that direction. That seemed to be fairly recent. Like towards the stage? the beach in that direction. That seemed to be fairly recent. Like towards the stage?

Like towards that and further. So as he's scanning the sand, just muttering to himself, he's like, I cannot wait to tell my kids about this song. They went this way! I start running. Yeah, same. Do we need to heal the rest of the wedding party, or can Kima and Allura take care of that?

Yeah, leave it with Kima. Okay. Okay, they begin to slowly awaken the rest of the wedding party, or can Kima and Allura take care of that? Yeah, leave it with Kima. Okay. Okay, they begin to slowly awaken the rest of the wedding party. Allura's like, go ahead, we'll catch up as soon as we can, but we have to make sure everyone here's okay. And Kima's going on, like, doing a little one-hit point lay hands on each person, like, boop, boop, boop, boop.

I'll shout out to Keyleth, I'll, Keyleth! Yes, Grog? We got tracks this way! Okay, I'll float as I go. Looking good! Can I do it? Sure, why not? Flavor?

Can we throw on the rope like a Macy's balloon? I'm a little Twitter. Like it's Inception. I'm a little twin. Like it's Inception. Perfect. I pick up the mic and we start running. All right, you guys all start bolting down that side of the beach as the fog clears and pushes away.

As the fog pushes away from Keyleth's spell, you can see, too, a fair jog up, the beach begins to lift into what looks to be a beachside cliff. There's a precipice that jog up, the beach begins to lift into a beachside cliff. There's a precipice that curves up, and there is a heavy cliff that comes to a sheer drop into the ocean. You guys heading that direction. In the meantime, Percival and Vax.

Oh fuck. B-story, B-story. You both slowly come to consciousness, shaking your head. You hear the crashing of waves. You both are on the ground lying on your side and you hear the crashing of waves. Are our hands free?

They are not. Your hands are bound behind your back and bound to your ankles. There are shackles on your wrists and your ankles and you are held there. That's supposed to be the wedding night. What? As soon as you say Percival, two figures step over

and grab both of you by the back of your outfits and lift you onto your knees. You can now, glancing over your shoulders, see you're about five feet from the edge of the cliff that drops a few hundred feet into the ocean below. You see where the cliff descends, or the cliffs behind you, the rocky area slowly heads into a grade that goes towards the rest of Marquet.

You can see the Aagrad Mountains in the distance with a little bit of moonlight has made its way through the sky now that it's cleared from the marine layer. You see a shattered figure approaching, stepping. Where's Vesper? Where's everybody? The figure approaches, long, heavy cloak billowing gently in the wind.

You see a dark beard, kept to a manicured point. Longish hair, slicked back, pale skin, and very intense eyes. You see standing before you, Lord Silas Briar. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Holy shit! What do you mean?

He's for sure dead. What do you mean? A super dead. No, he got away. He got away. He did get away. He got away? What? He did? Yeah, he did. That I sunbeamed him in the face. You know his wife got.

You know he sunbeamed the shit out of him. Yeah, he turned to mist and escaped. You couldn't follow him because you were focused on other things affecting him. This is true. Yep. Man. He got away? I thought I broke the roof for you!

I thought I had a tree growing out of him! No! Damn it! We, okay, later. Troll, this is an unexpected surprise. I, I... Long have I waited. Learning, reading, listening, suffering.

By the grace of ancient shadows stirred, by a love unending, my soul was scattered beyond life and brought back twice now, all to be with my beloved Elayla. Twice, she sacrificed everything for me. Everything. And twice, you have torn her away from me. Left without hope.

Agony unending for this eternal life. Unlife. I am cursed now without my partner. The paltry affections you both hold for each other mean nothing by comparison to what we had, though amusing it is to see you go through the motions. You do not, cannot understand what true, timeless love is.

You could never discover the joy that you've robbed of us. For this timeless torture you've banished my soul to, I bring judgment to you both. The first of many vengeances to be brought down upon your loved ones. He reaches forth and grabs the black chain. Wait. On the back of each of you.

It has nothing to do with anyone else. This is about us. You all right? Each of you had killed my Delilah. To be fair, she kind of deserved it. I mean, to us. She was terrible.

She starts dragging you both towards the cliff edge. Your knees are dragging across the rock and dirt. Percival? Honestly, Silas, is this your plan? Is this what you're planning to do with us, just toss us off a cliff. Poetic. I used to fear you. Know that when I die, you will bore me. He leans in real close to your face. You can smell the rot and ash on his breath as his nose touches the tip of yours,

his eyes burning with eternal hatred. I'm sorry it took this long to finish the last of the Dorolos, but it'll be nice to not worry about an incomplete position. I lean forward and headbutt him worry about an incomplete position. I lean forward and headbutt him. Make an attack roll.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Don't move it! Don't move it! Oh. So as he begins to flex to drag Percival forward, you lean forward and crack,

just whack him right straight in the head. What's your strength modifier? Nothing. It's a negative, it's nothing. You do, I'll give you two points of damage on that. Oh, thanks. For the crit. So crack is.

It's almost that, it's over. I've been thinking about this moment for so long. I planned so many elaborate ways to torture you and tear you apart. Tell us about them. SAM and LAURA laugh. Okay. I've come to enjoy the simplicity of things.

And throws you both from the cliff. Oh god. Oh geebees. You both impact the water. The ocean is now around you. The cold water completely engulfs both of you. You begin to sink. Oh god. Below, the heavy chains dragging you below,

what are you both doing? Our hands are behind us? Manacled or robes? You did say manacled. Black chains. Chains, do I have access to any of my stuff? Am I wearing any of my stuff? Whatever you brought to the reception,

which would be a minimal amount. Would be a minimal amount, but I would probably have the diplomacy glove. Maybe. Roll a perception check for me. I'm sorry, just roll a d20 for me. Roll a d20. The invitation did say,

I was trying to think of the actual, it would be 11. Okay. 11? I'm going to say you do not bring diplomacy with you. Can I cast Conjure Woodland Beings? Yeah, because your fingers are still available, too. Yeah. All right.

All right, don't have that. What's something that fucking swims? Going to drown some squirrels? Don't. An otter? Are they a woodland being? I mean, what's a woodland being? I don't have, eh. It's beasts, so.

It's beasts, so can I conjure? You summon fey creatures. Some beavers. Into your space. So they're fey creatures specifically. Fey creatures, that's different. Mermaids! Ooh!

Are they fae? Are you fae? Do you fae? Do you even fae? Oh! Oh boy. That's so fae. Mermaids? Yes, fae! Yes!

Our folk are not, they're humanoid. What are fae? What's a fae? Let's get a list of fey. What's a fey? A little list of fey. If you go to D&D Beyond, you get to find. While you're considering what to create. I'm going to try, I would assume I'm at least wearing my formal form.

So as a note, you guys are currently, you're not drowning yet. You can both hold your breath for different amounts. Vax, you have one minute of breath because your constitution modifier is zero. Because I suck? You can hold your breath for different amounts. Vex, you have one minute of breath because your constitution modifier is zero. Because I suck? You can hold your breath for three minutes, Percival. I'm going to try and start using my belt

to break, to see if I can twist and break off the shackles of the Rayleigh's, or at least break them open so that I can have some movement of some movement. What are you trying to break them with? My sword on my belt, just twisted around it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and make a strength check for me.

That's a terrible thing to make. Mr. Foe. This is a strength check specifically to try and break a heavy metal shackle against a blade. I'm trying to do what I can. I know. Strength check? Yes. 14.

14, not getting any sort of movement from the chain against the blade. You're trying the saw, trying to pull against it, just pulling the bubbles escaping from your mouth, and you can see Vex's face looking extremely paranoid and freaked out, wide against the water as the light begins to get darker and darker. The moonlight itself begins vanishing

as you guys sink further and further beneath the surface. Vex. I'm summoning a nereid. An erid? A nereid. Nereid? Nereid? It's an aquatic fae related to the Tritons.

Nereid shall not keep us together. Let me pull this up here. How do you spell it, Vex? N-E-R-E-I-D. Yeah, the thing that you definitely know about. Yeah. D&D Beyond, be my friend. D&D, D&D Beyond, D&D!

D&D Beyond, the consequences of the end of the world. Don't you tweet from my phone. Don't you tweet from my phone. Don't you tweet from my phone. I'm not. Is it N-A-R-I-D, you said? N-E-R-E-I-D. E-R-I-E-D, got you. Fuck, it's so far.

I can't get to it. It's not working, I'll just get to Fae. Oh, it says you failed it. It's not showing up on D&D Badond. You tried so hard. I'm the worst. Fae. N-E-R, got you. This is a sea hag.

You can do a aquatic visit. Okay, yeah, no, I see here. Nereid, sure, it's a medium fae. It is an aquatic creature with a drowning kiss. Sure, why not let that work? Can they grab us and pull us to shore? Or to the surface? At least to the surface. Okay.

I will say go ahead and make a dexterity check for me to be able to try and cast the spell while within the shackles. 11. What about you sip that wine again and then tell us? Yeah, no, that was amazing. That was so much. That was so extra. Oh no. Due to the way your hands are bound,

you're unable to get the full somatic components of the spell, and that first casting fails. You can try again if you'd like, but it comes next round. How do I have another fourth level? Oh no. Percival. So we're just going straight down right now? Yep, you're slowly sinking from the chains.

How far down does it go, can I even see? You have no idea. It's just darkness below you, there's just an abyss awaiting you, and you can see bits of jagged rock below. They're from the edge of the cliff. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to think what I have access to,

since I can't really move my hands, and I don't really have much magic. There's nothing else in the vicinity, no rocks, no anything? I mean, the edge of the cliff itself has some jagged rocks and barnacles and stuff that's about 20 feet away from you. I'm going to try and start pushing us both towards the rocks.

Okay, okay, make an athletics check for me. Your feet are free? No, I'm just doing the thing. There's no way we can swim if we're armed. He's golfing. Golfing. Arms and laser. Athletics check.

Jellyfish. You'll be a n. Dolphining. Arms and laser. You can do it for us. Athletics, athletics. Jellyfish. You'll be a naysayer. 12. 12? You manage to swim over towards it. You get most of the way. I'm definitely activating my boots of spider climb, too.

Just if they get purchase on anything, I'm going to have them. You're not quite there yet. No. You're making your way. Make my way to the shore. All right. How are you pulling her with you? Are you trying to grab her chain?

Yeah, I'm just trying to grab and push, so yeah. Okay, so you're pulling her along with you. Roll once more with disadvantage. Okay. Because this is hard to try and get both of you with this. I don't have my broom on me! Terrible. Like, accio broom.

Three, you're kicking and starting to spin. You're not getting any sort of movement under the water. You're unable to pull both of you towards the edge of the cliff. Can I spin around? Does Percy have any kind of, he has pins on him. He has a pin on him, it's the arrow that I gave him. It's an arrow pin that I told him to wear.

He's made of pins. You can try and cast it. He is wearing an arrow pin. I'll allow it, okay. I'm going to, like there's no way I'm going to try to spin and grab his arrow pin while my hands are fucking tied behind my back. Okay. I'll say go ahead and make an acrobatics check to try and squeeze around in the water to arrange yourself against him in this difficult circumstance to be able to grab it.

That would be a 25. 25. You throw up a leg over the shoulder and then dug a leg around him. 35, sorry. 35. Pull closely with your hands behind you, reach around his chest, his lapel, and manage to find it with your hand. You haven't pulled it free yet, but you have your hand on the pin.

I will try to pull it free. All right, it comes out easy. I'm going to try to use the pin to pick the lock on my manacles. Okay. Percival, what are you doing? I see what's happening and I'm going to assist. How are we going to? Okay. Help me, help me, darling. Help me.

Yes, so I'm going to, now that I see what she's trying to grab, I'm trying to steady myself and make everything as easy as possible for her. She pulls the pin free. Okay. Okay. All right. Go ahead and attempt a- Just like my brother taught me. Attempt to pick a lock. Your lungs are on fire now.

The air is trying to escape from you, and you only have two more rounds before you begin to officially drown. Okay. So go ahead and roll with disadvantage. Disadvantage. Disadvantage. This is going to be dex bonus plus proficiency bonus. Because you're proficient with lockpicks, correct? Yes, I am.

But this is not lockpicks, this is a pin. I will say you're not proficient with this because this isn't lockpicks. So just roll a d20 with disadvantage, add your dex bonus. Ooh, man. Run. You're up for a win.

You're alive. Ooh. 10. 10. Trying to When you live. Ooh. 10. 10. Trying to work at it. It's in there, it's not broken. You tend it and break it. It's just not quite making its way through.

Plus proficiency, dex plus proficiency. You're not proficient with lapel. This isn't your actual. Sorry, I was trying to help. I know, I know. Percival, what are you doing? I'm not helpful in this situation. I'm going to keep trying to go towards the cliff

and get some footing. Make another athletics check. Okay. He does speak Celestial, though, guys. Are you pulling yourself and Vex, or just you? No, just myself. So no disadvantage on this. He's abandoning me.

It doesn't matter, you rolled an eight. Eight? You push about five to ten more feet. You still have another 10, 15 feet before you can reach the cliff edge. How far away are we? We're running down the shoreline. You took ten minutes to cast that spell

to clear everything. I'm not as floating as I go. I know. You guys are on your way. We're on our way. You're on your way. Vex. You want to try again? All right.

Go ahead and roll again. Disadvantage, add your dexterity check. Come on. Oh boy, oh boy. Are we anywhere close to the bottom yet? You don't see it yet. Oh boy. You're not super quickly sinking, you're just... Okay, 15.

15? It's, you're finding tumblers. It's making its way in there, but it's not high enough to fully unlock it. This is intended to be a difficult lock to pick. It's Houdini shit. Yeah, so next round, you begin to drown. First of all, what are you doing?

Push into the wall again? Have I hit the wall? No, you have to roll an athletics check, man. Jesus. You guys are bound by your legs and feet. You're having to kick and swim without able to actually fully extend your legs. This is a bad scenario.

All my spells are arrow based. I can Hunter's Mark something. Sure, okay, anything else? Get creative. Dude, if I told you what I have, you would understand that nothing makes sense. Don't you have a Breathe Underwater spell? All right, goddammit, come on, please, please, please.

One Forceful Spell. Huh, a 20. A 20, you manage to kick enough and move your way back and reverse worm your way through the water, kicking your feet forward until you impact the side of the cliff as you're falling down. It hooks, you're no longer sinking, you actually the side of the cliff as you're falling down. It hooks, you're no longer sinking,

you actually catch part of your shackles on one of these jagged pieces of heavy rock that sits along the base of the cliff. My boots should be activated, so I should be able to actually steady myself on rocks. That is correct. You get your feet up under the rocks. You're in a squatting position,

but you're currently affixed to the side of the cliff. Sure, okay, and now I can see where she's about 25 feet away from you and the water is sinking. God fucking dammit. When I start drowning, am I able to do anything else, or am I just going to die at that point? At the start of your next turn, as soon as you start drowning, you drop to zero hit points.

Oh, wow. That's how drowning works. Okay. I can't do anything how drowning works. Okay. We can't do anything. Nope. Rough times. Yep. So next. At the wedding. Go ahead and it's your turn.

You're going to continue to try and... I mean, yeah. All right, go ahead and roll. Oh, you get one more roll? I guess so. This is her last turn before she loses her air. That would be a 12. A 12. It's not meeting the lock.

You expel the last bit of air from your lungs and the water begins to rush in and you begin kicking as you begin to drown. I can't kick, my legs are fucking tied together. Percival, you watch as you're up drown. I can't kick, my legs are fucking tied together. Percival, you watch as you're up on the edge there, your feet are fixed, you look down and see Vex'ahlia there release the last bit of air from her lungs

and begin to shake underwater. How far away am I from the surface? Right now, you guys are about 30 feet below. So... And I'm bound. You are bound. So my movement sucks. Yeah.

I'm going to try and... Fuck. I'm going to try and... I can't even push off. I'm going to try and... I can't even push off, I don't have enough fucking foot room. Goddamn it. Goddamn it. Get up and out. Yeah, I'm just going to head up as fast as possible.

Okay. So you can move 10 feet around. Is that including an action? That's your movement. So it'd be 10 feet up, 10 feet with your action. So you can get 20 feet. I'm going to burn a...

What do I have? I have things. I'm trying to remember what they are, because I'm having a mild panic attack. Yeah, I'm going to burn a second wind. Okay, that'll get you 30 feet. You'll get to the surface. So you quickly hobble up the side, running with a little bit of movement

you have in your ankles before you reach the top. And then I'm just going to scream bloody murder. Okay. I would like the rest of you to go ahead and roll perception check. Oh fucking come on, you guys. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Not great. Awesome. 22. 23. Seven. Three. 22. All right, the three of you, as you're rushing towards the cliffside, hear the faint sound of a scream echo across the rocks.

They are screaming. Yeah, me too. You recognize it to be Percival's scream. It sounds like it's coming from the water. Yeah, run. We run. Okay. You guys run towards the water. You're just coming up along the outside of the cliff.

You're probably about two minutes from the cliff top, so either you can head towards the edge of the cliff up top or head off to the side towards the water, but you got to. Am I finished casting the spell or is it still going? What do you mean, the? Clear the control weather. Is that done?

Yeah. Oh yeah, that would. I'll head towards the edge of the cliff. Okay. I'll head towards the water. You want to fan out? Yeah. Fan out. Are we up on a ledge? I'll head towards the water. You want to fan out? Yeah. Fan out. Are we up on a ledge?

You guys were climbing up towards, heading along the edge of the water. It rises up. It's no longer the beach, but it's now a rocky cliff face that curves up towards where the edge of this cliff precipice is. You guys hear the scream from the actual base of the cliff over here echo across the seaside edge.

So either you can head into the water around the cliff or up to the very top of the cliff, or you guys can do both. What do you want? I'm going to keep yelling anyway, so. Clifftop for me. Water. Water for me as well. I'll go water now.

I'm an excellent swimmer, I'll go water. All right. So as part of that, you guys jump. So it's Pike and who else is in the water? I'll go. I'll go in the water as well. All right, so it's you four in the water and it's just Grog. Key of the flip top.

Grog, you're going in the water. I'm in the water. Okay, I'm going to the cliff edge. And minutes of held breath is our con modifier? Your con modifier is how many minutes you can hold your breath, yes. Is that what's listed under saving throws or just what's withon modifier? Your Archon modifier is 70 minutes, you can hold your breath, yes. Is that what's listed under saving throws, or just what's with the modifier? Correct.

So you're screaming and yelling up there. Yep. Right, getting the noise. Vexen, you should make a death saving throw for me, please. Death saving throw? Come on. The last bit of air. 19.

19, that's a success. I'm going to go Water Elemental. All right. Water Elemental. You into Water Elemental and coast right into the waves. Pulling ass in the direction that I heard Percy. Heard the scream? Mm-hmm. What's the speed of that Water Elemental?

I'm going to pull it out. It's a bonus action to transform. That's both your wild shapes. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I'm going to polymorph into a dolphin. Okay. That's a 90-foot swim speed. So double movement, that's 120 feet per round.

120 feet. Oh no. 90 speed, sorry, 180. 180. 180, I'm sorry. Damn, that's fast. Dolphin can only swim 50 feet. So you're keeping along,

but Keyleth is just rocketing as an elemental. Okay. So as you're shooting forward, making your way towards that cliff, you guys, Pike, you're trying to swim along. You're in the water with Duerig. Yeah. You watch Scanlan turn into a dolphin

and poof, disappear into the water. Keyleth turns into Water Mantle, vanishes, and they both scoot off. You and Duerig are both now in the water trying to swim. Okay, just trying to swim towards Percy because that's all we can hear. I'm running straight up below the triple dash, looking over the edge.

All right. Make no mistake, I'm going to throw Make no mistake. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Just roll high. That's all you got to do is roll high. Why didn't you do it? It's a failure. How does this? Okay. All right.

Percival, still yelling. Do I see people coming? Make a perception check. I feel like regardless of success or failure, my lungs are filling with water. Yeah, I mean, if you roll three successes, we're going to keep rolling. This is to see how long you last underwater.

Okay. You don't stabilize underwater while you're drowning. Yeah. Perception check, wow, I'm not okay. There we go. 23. Wow, nice. I was going to say, it's hard to step away from Caduceus.

You glance over and you can just see out of the corner of your eye in the fair distance a couple of figures in the water. You watch as two of the figures, you see four figures in the water and two of them vanish beneath the waves. You can see these two bowing, shifting bulges in the water as two things

are currently torpedoing through them in your direction. They're still a ways away, though, but traveling quickly. Oh man, what do I even have? You are dying, Alrimbaity. I got fucking nothing, man. It's embarrassing what I have. I can't die, I have shifting bulges coming to save me. We all deal with death in different ways. I can't die, I have shifting bulges coming to save me.

We all deal with death in different ways. I guess I'm, god, I don't even have a lock pick. I have nothing to get these things off with. Fuck, I'm going to just tap her some creative thinking. Yeah, yeah. Try strength. Yeah, I have lots of that. Just try. We're both the weakest motherfuckers.

I'm going to try and find some kind of rock to twist these things off of. I'm just going to try one more time to just. Are you trying to break the chains? What are you trying to do? I'm trying to break the lock. Okay. Just straight up break the lock.

Make another strength check. Goddamn it. This is a brute force against the lock. It's going to be strength. No. 17. 17. You smash it as hard as you can against the rock. The rock splinters and breaks.

Feels like a decent hit, but it still holds. Oh my god. Mother, mother. Do I have anything left that I can do? Make another death saving throw. Motherfucker. Come on, come on. Eight. It's a failure. Motherfucker. Oh god. Come on, come on. Eight. It's a failure.

Motherfucking. You're both rushing over. Echolocating, echolocating. Making your way as fast as you can in that direction. Can I bonus action dash? Oh my god, what if I die? You can't bonus action dash. I think we get all of our gifts back.

That's a rogue and a monk thing. Wow. I don't think you can do that as a water element. No, I just want to use everything I have to get there. I am in a wedding dress. Don't kill me when I'm in a wedding dress. I'm not in your wedding dress. I am.

You are, I know. I'm still trucking up the cliff's edge. Is there anything up as I'm running? You're running quickly, and you can see there are shapes up at the top of the cliff's edge. Is there anything up as I'm running? You're running quickly and you can see there are shapes up at the top of the cliff's edge that are looking over the cliff at the moment. The shouting seems to have gotten their attention. Can I see what they are? You're not there yet.

You're still quite a distance. They're just humanoid figures? Yeah. That's right. All right. Keyleth, Scanlan, you guys are rushing with the... Can I see the gnome? It's dark vision, but it's underwater. They're quite a distance away.

You can just barely see Percy, perched on the edge of the cliff, shouting, and trying to break his lock against the stone. Pike, your way is behind. Am I getting close to Percy? Right, they're further than that from here. Am I getting, I'm trying to go towards Percy. You are, you're making your way,

like swimming as you can as a gnome. Not huge arms, unfortunately, but you're moving at half your movement speed in that direction, and both of them are just cruising through, so you're like, it's like trying to swim behind a motorboat. Question. Okay. And Derek, who is a fucking athlete,

jumped in and washed Keyleth and Scanlan just go away. Yeah. He has a ring of free movement. Does that have any effect on water? Am I going normal speed? It does. You're going normal speed through the water. Okay. Not as fast as them. No, but you're still moving fast.

Michael Phelps, baby. So you are, Pike, unfortunately, being left in the suds a bit here. Okay. All right, so you continue chasing after them? Yeah. Okay. I don't know what else to do. You guys are getting close. I don't know, 180.

Still not it. I know, no, no, you're going to be there first, definitely. Vaccination roll and another death stand to throw, please. I am about to go ham. Oh god. Oh god. We made a deal. Come on. Come on.

Come on. I don't like it. That's a one. Oh my god. Bok'u. The last bit of consciousness slips from Vex, the bride-to-be, as the abyss below slowly takes her. Keyleth, you rush up the next round

and arrive as a water elemental in that space and you can see her body just drift below the ocean, the eyes glazed over, unmoving. I scoop up underneath of her and grab her. Then Percy seems okay. Can I see him, Percy? He's alive.

I'm going to immediately double back and get her back to Pike, A-snaps. Okay. So the Water Mantle is now motorboating opposite direction. Just a big blobby water and then reverse. You got it. A few moments pass.

Pike, as you're trying to keep up, you watch as your new half-elf friend there looks and spins as one heavy, moving, shifting burst of water just cruises up in your direction before splashing you in the face and you see a large water elemental, shifting burst of water just cruises up in your direction before splashing you in the face, and you see a large water elemental, Keyleth, emerge from the ocean holding the unmoving body.

I just travel both in a rolling wave onto the beach. I just come up out of the water and drop them both onto the beach. So you move past Pike, then? I grab Pike as well and crash onto the beach with them. You all get thrown out onto the sand and there you see Vex come onto the. Is she okay, is she okay?

And then I drop for him. I think she's dead. You have to do something immediately. Okay, I reach out, I put my hands out and I cast True Resurrection. True Resurrection for 100 minutes. Just straight up? Straight up. Has it been under a minute?

Yeah. It's been under a minute. Well, I mean, True Resurrection is not too... True Resurrection does cost at least 25,000 gold worth of diamonds to do. Wait, wait, wait, because Revivify is under a minute. Wait, but I thought these mean, shit, sorry, this has been a while. I know, it's been a minute. We thought these may not, shit, sorry,

this has been a while. I know, it's been a while. It's okay. It's okay. Revivify, I want to revivify. Revivify, Jesus Christ. Revivify. It requires diamonds worth 300 gold to cast. Do you have diamonds on you as part of this event? Are you wearing any jewelry for the event?

Are you wearing any jewelry for the event? Yes, yes, all of the jewels. I mean, yeah, Vexen's got to be wearing some bling. She's out of the woods. I'm going to take some. I already used my ring on for the search for Bob. But we haven't replaced them yet. We were going to do it tomorrow, dear.

Shit. I've got some earrings on. I don't know if they're worth that much. Go ahead, Pike, and roll 2d6 for me. Five, I'm sure. Oh boy. Which one, 2d4? 2d4? Oh boy. Oh god. Oh my god.

Six. Six. All right, the earrings that Vex has on are worth approximately 600 gold worth of diamonds. Oh shit. Okay, great. Pump those fucking earrings into her body. Okay. Do it now. Shove it. Shove it on her ass.

Wow. I think that's how it works. She's dead. Thank you, Amazon. So as part of our resurrection ritual elements there. I thought I got to heal her. DM, DM, DM, DM. So the Rebuff Eye has an element here where when it brings you back,

I roll just in general to see if through the previous resurrections you've had, to see what the different DC is. Oh, fuck me. That is a natural 13. You've died twice, correct? At least. Raven's Queen armor and?

Yeah, Raven Queen's armor. What was the other one? Briarwoods. Briarwoods. Was that a death? Near a death. Yes,. What was the other one? Briarwoods. Briarwoods. Was that a death? That was near a death. Yes, yes, the twins died to the Briarwoods. Yeah. To the Briarwoods. Disintegration and you went down too, but.

You didn't die there. No, I didn't. Well, regardless, that's higher than the DC you would have had, so. Okay. In that moment, the earrings that you plucked from Vex's body disintegrate and turn to sand along with the rest of the beach, just slightly discolored.

At which point, suddenly, Vex coughs up seawater and doubles over, spitting it onto the edge of the ocean. What the fuck? What was the DC 12 or something? It was either 11 or 12, based on how many she died, so natural 13. A little bit higher the next time. Okay, okay, that's right.

No more one shot. I'm sorry, I... I'm chewing up the cliff face. I go, fuck, Percy, and I go back into Eleven Form. You're like Eleven walking up a cliff. Grab Percy. Oh, that's fine. Where was he? So you rush back towards Percy on the water.

It takes you a few rounds to get there. Percy, you see, is sort of hobbling up there. You're out there as the dolphin. Sure. All right, so Keyleth, you rush over and hit the edge as the dolphin. You look up and you can see Percival's slowly crab walking up the side of this cliff. Do we have earrings?

Can we talk to each other through our fucking earrings? I'm a dolphin. Oh, yeah. Don't we have earrings? No. The cliff is just stone. Oh, yeah. Don't we have earrings? Yeah, you still have mine. The cliff is just stone, there's nothing... It's stone and minerals and salt and the seagull shit.

Did you get her? Did you get her? Resurrection. Grog. Yeah. You are approaching the edge of the cliff. Yeah, they're like tourists looking over the edge. Yeah, as you rush up to see the edge, you can see there are five figures

that are looking over the edge and look back at you. And you see, for the first time, Silas Briarwood. I do like the cartoon heels, like. No fucking way. Is the sun out? No, this is nighttime. Oh. This is nighttime. What was there?

You guys had dinner in the sunset, remember? It was like dusk. It was dusk. Yeah. I may still be poisoned. Yep. Yeah, now we're... Are you... Silas?

The four other figures begin to move rapidly in a flanking position as he walks towards you. That tracks. Confidently. Crack, crack. Dragging a blade behind him across the stone. What kind of blade? The same blade that he fought you guys with at the battle in Thaunomphala.

Oh no. Maven edge? No, it's not Maven edge. Actually, no, this is an axe, it's a great axe. Okay. When I get over to Percy, I'm going to drop my polymorph, cling onto the rocks, see him struggling up there, and cast Polymorph on him.

Fine. And turn him into a raven. All right. Do it. You are now a raven person. All right. We're good. I just need health getting up. Do I get a move around?

We do. We're going to go ahead and arrange this now, seeing as how this has now turned into a combat scenario. Turn off his torches. Try and conserve some battery there. Ugh. And I'll be right back. Oh shit.

There's another map. Fucking stylus. Wow, man. Guys. Oh my god. What? Oh shit. There's another map. Fucking Silas. Wow, man. Guys. I thought there might be a Delilah clone. This is crazy. I can't believe I just fucking died.

That was stressful, way too stressful. All right, get into it. I'm going to leave you as a raven for like 30 seconds so you can get up to the fucking top of the thing and then I'm going to leave you as a raven for like 30 seconds so you can get up to the fucking top of the thing and then I'm going to drop it. Am I going to still be manacled? No. Okay. Oh shit!

What the? Wow! That's cool! How high is that cliff-ish? That cliff edge there is about roughly 150 feet. Okay. So Grog, you're approached to about there. All right. There are no guns or anything.

We don't have any of our stuff. How are you going to do anything? Flanking. Here. You want a sword? I have a sword. Do you? Ceremonial. It's all right.

Sylas. Fucking Sylas. I thought he was deader than shit. I thought so, too. I did not. I thought he turned into a mist. You look ridiculous right now. I'm ready to fight for my life. My favorite thing.

Welcome to Chippendale. I look like a New Orleans funeral driver. I'm Duke of York, this is indeed. So, Percival, you are currently flying up the cliff side. You'll get there in a round, I'll say, because you've been cruising up at this point. You're climbing up the side. I'm just going to keep concentrating on him for another, until I see him get over the edge,

and then I was going to drop it, basically. You've got it. Meanwhile, Pike, Akeelah, if you are currently in water. I'm in the water as an elemental. You are currently. Chatting with Scanlan. Scanlan? I look currently placing. So you cruise around the mule right there next to. Scanlan? Oh, I look pretty cool. There you go.

Uh-huh, yeah. All right. You would place me, I was just trying to keep up with her. Right, so you would be a little ways away over here. Okay. And Pike, did you bring Pike or anybody else with you, or are you guys still by the beach? No, I dropped Pike on the beach with Vex.

With Vex on the beach right there. You got it. When swimming, would we do action, movement and use action as further movement? You would want to, yeah. Yeah, that would mean 60 feet of range for me swimming. You've got it. All right, so take a couple rounds to get there, guys.

Grog, initiative, please. Grudge match. My favorite. 17. 17, all right. 17 for silence. Oh shit. So we have...

What's your dexterity? 15, so plus two. Silas goes first. All right. Then the rest of them, that's cocked. Well, they go first. All right, so top of the round, Grog, as you're watching him and you say this to Silas

and he's dragging the axe behind him, he puts his hand forward and just goes, all four vampires rush in. 30. 30. Five, 10, 12, 13. All four vampires rush in. 30. Here's 30. That's nice. That's nice. This is your favorite terrain, Grog.

Oh my god. They're in a nice group. Easy to kill. These guys rush in here. Pirouette. Do a little Billy Elliot. Yeah. Those two don't get an attack

because they used the rest of the dash. They weren't quite close enough to do so. However, the other two do, and they have advantage because they have you flanked. Can we say that because I have persistent rage and the danger has not subsided, that I could rage all the way through running all the way up the cliff from the wedding site,

from the rehearsal dinner? If you really want to, sure. Yeah, I wouldn't have dropped it. You didn't Berserker rage, so. Right, frenzy. Yeah, we're frenzy. Yeah, so. Yeah, sure.

You're going to be really angry at the fact that the couple went missing. Triple, double, whatever. That's a 17 to hit? Misses. Claw attack swipes wide, a secondary claw attack against you. That is going to be a 17 to hit. Misses. Claw attack, swipes wide, a secondary claw attack against you. That is going to be a 25 to hit.

That hits. You take six points of slashing damage reduced to three. Okay. And you are grappled by him. The other one's going to go ahead and attack you. That is going to be a 15 to hit. Misses. Claw attack again. That's going to be a 15 to hit. Misses. Ball attack again.

That's going to be a 22 to hit. Hits. You take another nine points slash damage reduced to four. Okay. That's them right there. Now it's Silas' turn. He rushes up to greet you at this point. Just swoops up in that direction.

He's going to, yeah, he's going to be all right. Pushing you into that point right there. You are entirely surrounded as they are just bearing down on you. Stardust brings the axe wide in the air and moves at a natural speed right up to you. As soon as he stops, the axe is already mid-swing. All right.

This is going to be three attacks with the axe on you. That is going to be a 33 to hit? Yes, sir. All right. You take... 22 points of slashing damage reduced to 11, as well as 15 points of necrotic damage. As the axe sinks into your body, you can feel the shadow burning into your skin.

Second attack against you. 29 to hit. Hits. That's going to be 24 points slash damage reduced to 12. Matt did not come to play softball tonight. Love it. You guys left my fucking dust titan behind the last one, shut up.

Fuck. This is some vengeful stuff. We all were busy finding our fucking outfits for tonight. I know. Seven points necrotic damage. Can't beat that. That's going to be 27 to hit. Yes.

You suffer 18 points slash damage, reduced to nine. And... 14 points necrotic damage. You got it. That's going to finish Silas's turn. Grog, you're up. You brought me under 200 hit points. Wow.

With my action, I would like to try and lunge forward and tackle Silas and drive him straight backwards. Straight backwards? Straight backwards. Okay, go ahead and make a, we'll say a grapple, or is this a shove, try and push him back? Yeah, how far is a shove?

A shove is a five-foot shove, because your strength is so high, I'll say it's half your strength modifier. Which is? Eight squares. Right, so my strength modifier is eight, so four? So push him back four squares. Four squares, all right. I have advantage on strength checks. 25, natural 20. Four squares, all right. I have advantage on strength checks.

25, natural 20. Natural 20, all right, that's definitely a hit. So now it's a strength contest. Oh, that's not 20 for your strength contest. Oh, I just rolled it for the strength check. Yeah, it should have been, it should have been an attack, yeah. Oh, gotcha, okay. So yeah, no, he fails and he gets pushed back.

One, two, three, four, Skids back, catches himself there. Great, I will spend an action surge and I will drive him back another. You're going to move forward into him? Yep. All right, so you move forward. There's four attacks of opportunity against you. Oh, I thought I was in a,

like wrapped around him, grappled during the shove, no? Actually, no, you are grappled, so you would not be able to move forward. You are grappled by one of the vampires. Your speed is zero, so you shove him back, and that's where he goes. I understand. Your action surge will try and break the grapple.

You're currently being held by one of the vampires. Oh. I will spend my action surge, yes, La la la la la la. La la la la la la la. Bah bah bah. I will spend my action surge, yes, and I'll make two attacks. Okay, go for it. Yeah. Against which one? I guess the guys on my right.

Same guy or two different? Let's do same guy. All right. The closest to Silas on the right. Right there, you got it. Let's go ahead and roll two attacks against him. It's 33. That hits.

21 points of slashing damage. Okay. And then... 19 to hit. That hits, roll damage again. 22 points of slashing damage. Nice, and you still have your bonus action. Yeah, so my bonus action,

I'll slam the titan stone knuckles together and I'll cast Enlarge. Okay. Yes! Yes! Yes! He forces him back a bit. That's a big boy! He gets forced back. There we go.

Does that fuck with the grapple at all, growing that size? He's still holding onto you, you're still grappling, you still have to break by, but you're pretty big now. Cool. That's it. All right. So far away are we. So we're getting to that point now. It's a's it. All right. How far away are we?

So we're getting to that point now. It's a new top of the round. Pike and Vex, you guys are down by the beach in the cliff, so you're about roughly 100 feet away. Okay. I also have one thing. I'm going to put my hands on her and cast Cure Wounds at full level. Is she a zero?

Yeah, she's a zero. Yeah full level. She's at zero? Yeah, she's at zero. Yeah, very strong. What are you at? I don't know, what am I at? You're at one hit point. I'm at one hit point? One hit point?

Yeah, okay. He didn't go on. Both of you guys went unconscious from the poison. All right. You have 24 points. Thank you. Okay. All right. All right. All right. And then...

Should we start making our way up there? What do you want to do? Yeah, I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself as well, at third level. Okay. 11 plus five is 16. Okay, and then I'm going to take off running. Okay, so that's 30 feet and 25 feet of you guys heading up the edge of the cliff here. Yeah.

Making your way as best you can. You're about back. Oh my god, we're making our way there. I thought we were right there. No, we're pretty far away. You guys went to the beach, and the beach is far away from where the cliff begins to rise up. That's where Vex is?

Yeah, Vex and Pike. Damn. You guys spread out at that point. Wait, and then we're 100 feet away from the cliff side, or 100 feet away from where the Grog is? 100 feet away from where the edge of this map begins. Oh, fuck. There's going to be rounds. Yeah, grog, we're going to be tanking for a bit.

It is, he's the one to split off. So while that's happening, for the sake of this, let's go ahead and have everyone else roll initiative so we can do this in the order it's supposed to be. Yep. Woof. Terrible. I've been getting around some d6s. Okay. Let me handle that.

I remember. Jesus. All right, 25's 20. 29. Ooh, Percy! Are we, yeah, I need to roll initiative, too, me and Pike. Initiative as well? 14.

14. 14. Hey! Oh, Pike together. 12. Keyleth? 19. Ooh.

Where's Trinket? Was he with the group? I see him over there. Keyleth, sorry, Trinket would be along the side of the group as you guys were running towards the edge. So as you got brought back to the beach, Trinket would be there on the beach waiting, not wanting to jump in the water after you. So you've come back with Trinket.

Okay. Derek's at 18. Derek's at 18. So Derek's right after Keyleth. All righty. Man, this is intense for a wedding. Yeah. Hey, man.

Every wedding's tense. I was going to go off without a hitch. Yeah. I'd be glad I wasn't the Kraken returning. All righty, so, finishing that, we'll say everyone else who hasn't gone yet gets a round to go, and then we'll start with initiative order, so Scanlan, Percy,

Keyleth, and Darragh. What order? In the order of the initiative? In any order right now, and then we'll start with initiative order. So Scanlan, Percy, Keyleth, and Darragh. In the order of the initiative? In any order right now, and then we'll start with the initiative order next round. I'm watching her. 29. You go first. What do I have on me, out of curiosity?

Like, what? You have whatever your comfortable formal outfit was for the rehearsal, you had your ceremonial weapon at your side, which is your hand. Sure. What else would you have had on you for that event? All the guns. Well, I mean, I might have had one

of the most basic guns, but that would have been all of it. Oh, that would. All right. I'll have my one basic gun. I definitely don't have any of my other fancy shit, though, do I? Probably not. Okay, that's fine. Would it have gotten wet? Does that do anything? As long as I don't try and fire it underwater,

it should be fine. Yeah, everything's capped. So Percy, what are you doing? You are currently, you're a raven. Circling up the edge of the cliff. You've climbed quite a bit up, so at the raven speed, I'd say if you double movement, you can get to the top of the cliff as a raven right now.

I'm going to try and do that and circle around the side. Circling around the side, all right. So right now, you have rushed around and, because I don't have a specific raven for you, I'll just say for now, this giant eagle represents where you are. I like an eagle. You are right there.

Yeah, trying to keep some cover as I make my way around. Right, so you watch Percy loop around as the raven and perch on the edge of the cliff side, just barely within your sight. I'm going to drop Polymorph on him. Okay. Vercel, you are right there.

And I'm going to, oh sorry, you have more to do? What was your movement, your action to get over there? For bonus action, I'm going to Second Wind. Okay, go for it. All right. Take your second wind. Yay, I'm now at 28 HP. 38, that's better than one. Keyleth, Darragh, what are you guys doing? Is that all you're doing?

Scanlan dropped it, Scanlan gets his turn as well. Scanlan, are you no longer a dolphin? How far down? No, he's no longer a dolphin, he's climbing the edge of the cliff. How far down? How tall is this cliff? It's about, I'd he's climbing the edge of the cliff. How far down? How tall is this cliff? It's about, I'd say roughly 150 feet.

I got you. Whoa! I got you. Whoa! I got you. So on my turn, I will... I will Dimension Door up. Oh, never mind, he's got it. Okay. Up to the very edge of the cliff?

Yeah, yes, yes. So the woof, you appear right on the tip, like, and I will bonus action heal myself. Go for it. Just for whatever that is. First level, right? We are allowed to do that in this? In this campaign, yeah. I appreciate the help,

but this way I get to do a bonus action. D4 plus your charisma modifier. Yeah, so that's one plus charisma six or something, right? Charisma six, all right, seven points, yes! You got it. All right, Keyleth? I will cast Sunbeam as my concentration spell. Right, because you can cast in Beast Form.

Yes. That's right. Ooh! Okay, so you cast Sunbeam. You have it now concentrated. I'll hold for now. What's that? Still Water Elemental. Chilling on the edge of the cliff. Okay. I'll, can now. What's that? Still water elemental, chilling on the edge of the cliff. Okay.

I'll, can I take this bonus action to turn into a earth elemental and slide into the edge of the cliff? Because you have unlimited B shapes. Level 20 druids. They're the worst. Level 20 druids can do anything. Level 20 ranger rogue drowns. Super easy.

I'm sorry. It's just the way it is. You can multi-class it. Brides all over here. So you and then vanish into the cliffside. Can I use my movement to elevator up a little bit? Yeah, you can earth glide up to it, I'll up. Okay. Okay. True resurrection. Yeah. All right. movement to elevator up a little bit? Yeah, you can Earthglide up to it, I'll help.

Okay. Yeah. All right. Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. So that's everybody, so now we've, oh no, sorry, Derek. Right, if I saw her turn into a big rock thing, which I've seen three times before,

and I see this lump go up the side, then I'm swimming towards land. All right, so you're swimming at full speed, 30 feet, since you're going along the cliff, we'll get you onto the cliff side there. Okay, and then I'd like to make, I guess, an athletics check to climb that shit. Yeah.

On that side of the cliff, it's not as high. You only have about, I'd say, 80 or so feet. 70 feet to climb. Okay, so does the Ring of Free Movement factor into this at all, if I don't totally fuck my dozen and all? Doesn't. Okay, got it. Rolling.

Shitty roll. Athletics? 12. 12, okay. You get out of the water, and you start climbing the edge of the cliff a bit. You get about 15 feet up, and that's as much this turn. All right, so I'm at it.

That finishes your go, top of the round. Now we're back in initiative order. Everybody's locked into initiative. Percy, you're up first. All right, I'm going to come around the side of those rocks real quick there. Three steps there? Yep. I'm going to hop around to get a shot

on two of the people who are getting in the way of Grog. Okay, you can see them right there. Yeah, and I'm going to take a piercing shot. I'm going to spend a grit point for a piercing shot. Okay, against which one of these? The two front ones in the line. You got it. Here we go.

And yeah, I don't get a bonus on that, do I? With the retort, which is definitely an iffy gun. Here we go. That's a 24 to hit. That hits. Pew! That's nine points of damage to the first one. Nine points, you got it.

And then the second one, you roll for another attack to hit him? Another attack, that's right. I believe with disadvantage on that one. I think it's just a straight roll, if I recall. It's just that it could, if I recall, it's just a straight roll, if I recall. It's just that it could, if I recall, it's just a straight roll. I double check.

I don't have it on this phone, shit. I'll roll disadvantage. On this phone? I think it's you get to attack the first one, and then disadvantage on the next. All the ones behind it. Okay, that's a 16 to hit? 16 still hits.

Oh. And that's seven points of damage. Seven points of damage, you got it. That's the first attack. The gunshot sound happens and you watch them, a handful of them look over. Silas looks over in that direction, but you are just out of his sight range

from the rock right there in that point. I'm going to take two more shots. Go for it. Let's... That was your first shot, was the piercing shot, right? Yeah. You technically have three more shots. I have three more shots. Go for it. Let's uh... That was your first shot, was the piercing shot, right? So you technically have three more shots. I have three more shots now. Because you're at level 20,

because you have four attacks in level 20. Fuck, that's so crazy. Ooh, get him, Purse! All right, let's uh... We have to reload after that, but you can do it. Well, I mean, I have a bonus action for that, so that's fine. You do?

Just one. I'm going to spend another grip point for advantage. Where's my grip points? You're so crazy. I know. Where did my grip points go? I don't know how many I have, so that's all right. So this is 102.

And that's a 25 to hit. 25 hits. This is terrible. Eight points of piercing. To this guy there? Yeah, that guy there. When you already hit? Yep. All right, eight points piercing.

All righty, two more attacks. He's looking hurt, he's taken quite a beating from Grog and he's still taking two shots from you from behind. Another just a straight shot. Go for it. Just 27 to hit. That hits, roll damage. 11 points of piercing.

Nice, all righty. And one more. One more, go for it. Damn. That's 18 to hit. That hits, roll damage. That's 15 points of damage. 15 points of damage. Fucking get at him.

Turns into mist. Yeah! And attempts to start floating away. His mist form is right there. I'm going to duck down with Lilla's left of my movement, I'm going to... You can move down about 10 feet. And I'm going to hop in and take cover. Okay, you got it.

Finishing Percy's round, that brings us to their turn. They go ahead and look over and can't see who's in the vicinity, and instead just go ahead and turn back to focus on Grog. One down. This guy's going to go ahead and stay tinsured there. This guy's going to stay there. One of those guys has you grappled.

The grappled guy is going to attempt to bite you once, as well as a slash, the slash first. That is going to be a, yeah, that hits. That's a 26 to hit. With a Claws, you suffer four plus, that's seven points slashing damage reduced to three. Sure.

Then he's going to attempt to bite you. That is going to be a 16 to three. Sure. Then he's going to attempt to bite you. That is going to be a 16 to hit. Misses. Yep, tries to bite into you and you shrug it off with your shoulder. Barely even scrapes the skin. Can I use my Retaliation to take a swipe at him? You may, that's this guy here. Great. Retaliation?

Yes. 21 to hit. That hits, roll damage. Great. 17, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. 23 points of slashing damage. Two points of necrotic. Plus your additional large,

which is I think a d4, right? Four points, 27 total. 27 points of damage, oof, that's a nasty hit. All right, other guy's going to attack you, slashing twice, that's going to be a 19 to hit. Hits. You take... eight points of slashing damage reduced to four.

Yeah, that hits, that's damage reduced to four. Yeah, that hits, that's a 23 to hit. You take another... Eight points of slashing damage reduced to four. Okay. Two more attacks. That definitely hits, 19 by 18. You take another eight points, reduced to four. Oh my god. And that one misses you.

Great. All right, that finishes their go. Keyleth, you're up now. Okay, I'm elevatoring up. What's the movement on your? 30 feet burrow speed. 30 feet burrow speed? Earthglide.

Earthglide. Straight up. All right, so you moved up 30 feet previously. You now move up another 30 feet,glide. Straight up. All right, so you moved up 30 feet previously. You now move up another 30 feet, that's 60 feet up. You have another, we'll say, 60, 150, you have another 70 feet to get to the surface. Okay. 70, 80 feet.

Jeepers. Okay. Can I use my bonus action to do one more? Not bonus action. Or my action? Use your action to move up, yes. Sorry, action to move again? Okay, yeah.

So you have, so next turn, if you do both, you can get up to the top. Okay. So you're shifting up in that area, finishing Keyleth's go, and it's now Silas' turn. Silas, where is he? Oh god, that's Silas? Yep.

No. No. And then warp around that way. No. No. At an immensep around that way. No. At an immense speed as he spins around behind, he's now flanking the guy on the opposite side of you, having you surrounded, Grog. He's going to go ahead and take his attacks on you.

So with advantage on those as he's flanking you. First attack is going to be a 25 to hit. That hits. Second attack is going to be a 25 to hit. Oh, that hits. Second attack is going to be a 26 to hit. That hits. Third attack is going to be a 29 to hit. Yes, sir. All righty, so all three attacks hit you

with the Great Axe. You suffer 16 points of slashing damage reduced to eight. Great. I'm going to do all the attacks on one side. 25 points of slashing damage, reduced to 11. Sheesh. Then 26 points of slashing damage, reduced to 13. I'll use my Stone's Endurance, which is a 1d12.

It's a reaction, is it? You've already used your reaction to retaliate, I think. Is it a reaction? I thought it was just something I could do, it just says Stone's Endurance. Subject 1d12 con from damage taken once per short long rest. Let me double check here as far as the ratio is. Are you still grappled, BT-dubs?

I think so, yeah. So it's Endurance. You can use your reaction to roll it. I'll save it for the next turn. Next turn. All right, so you mark all that damage down? 26 and a half was 13. Now we do the necrotic damage, this is not half.

Great. What the? Wow. That is 15 points necrotic damage. Yes, sir. 14 points necrotic damage. Rough. And 16 points necrotic damage. Oh, rough. And 16 points necrotic damage. Right. Jesus.

That's going to finish Silas's turn. Beautiful. All right. Come on, there, Groggy. Oh, aces. My plumage is flying, huh? Grog, you're up. Great, I will turn on Silas

and say, this mist is going to also drift away. Fuck that mist. Double move, try and make its way out of it. Let you and I dance proper, and I will go into a frenzy rage. All righty. And I will make all three of my attacks reckless against Silas.

Go for it. That is a 30 to hit. That hits. That is eight. 22. I had to jump my arrow, sorry, but I'll just go up and grab it. That means eight. 22. That's up to you. My arrow, sorry, but I'll just go after Kratik. 27 on the first.

Oh yeah, you're right, you're after Keyleth. I'm sorry, that's my fault. 27 points of damage on the first one. 27 points. Does it need that, to Kratik? Two points from to Kratik. Okay, gotcha. Do I crit on a 19 now?

I don't believe so, that was something we had with... Sort of cause. Sort of cause, yeah. But you got right on. Very high, right? This is a million. It's natural 19, so it definitely hits. You had them previously when you fought him. Huh? You had them previously?

How many did he have last time, three? Three. So he might have even more now. That's 28 points of slashing damage with three points of necrotic damage. And the last one is 30 to hit.

That hits, you roll damage. That's better. 22, six. Dope, 32, come here, 1d4. 32. 34 points with three points of necrotic damage. You got it. Oof.

That is almost 90 points of damage in one round. As you're slashing and carving into Silas, you watch him. He's still just grinning. Beautiful. I will use my movement to rush the street. You're still grappled, unfortunately, you cannot move. Fuck.

That totally changes my plan. Understood. With my bonus action, I will. Nobody attack him with your bonus action. Oh, that's right, because that's what my friend just rages, I will do nothing, thank you. All right, Grog's turn is done. Coming back to you, Derek.

I don't think I would get to anybody, but I got a movement, an action, and an action surge, so I'll get as high up the cliff face as I can with that. Make an athletics check for me. Yes, sir. That's good. That is 27. 27, I'll say with all three of those,

that gets you up onto the cliff with an additional 10 feet of movement. Start moving, yeah, moving forward towards the scrum. Cool, that's your turn. That brings us to Vexen Pike. Using everything to just fucking run and get there. I'm going to keep running and casting spells that are too much for the situation

or don't make any sense. Okay, we'll say next round, you guys will make it onto the board. Great. What, the range of your arrows are? I don't have a bow on me. That's right. Ugh.

I've got no weapons. Nurt is going to be fine. Just cast True Resurrection like four more times. I've got a dagger probably in my pants. You don't have to have your wedding pants. I don't have a bow. Why would I have a bow and arrows on me when I'm fucking at a rehearsal dinner?

Well, do you remember the bow and arrow pin that you were wearing? Oh, yeah. Just like, poom! I lost that in the water. Actually, we'll say as part of the rumors, you're still clutching the arrow pin. Okay. Sure.

All right. You know what this is doing, though? It's building character. All right, that finishes your go. Scanlan, you're up. Well, I'm assuming he's very powerful. Wow, Grog is getting wrecked over there. I was going to do something, but I don't want to hurt Grog. So I guess I'll shoot a lightning bolt that hopefully will hit Silas and that guy in front of him.

Okay. So you just step up from there and then fire? Pew! Cool. Yeah. Right straight through. Yeah, I assume I don't have my cone, so it's a 19 to save?

19 to save? No, 20 to save. 20 to save. Silas, oh, fails, is going to use one of his legendary resistances. Ah, there it is. The other vampire fails the natural two. Lightning bolt is 8d6, or is it? 8d6, and put it through the novel, yeah.

Thank you. 8d6 or is it? 8d6. 8d6, thank you. 8d6, okay. This is cool. 36 points of damage. 36 points of damage, that's nice. Yeah. 18 to Silas, and to the other vampire behind him. That is a big old chunk as the one

that's right in front of Silas, the bolt takes squarely to the chest before arcing back into Silas. You watch the chest burn, this big puff of smoke, dark off the heart of his torso. Hurt, but still standing. Angrily hisses in your direction. Sure, and I will move towards that spire thing over there

just to get behind it a little bit. Yeah, and I'll Inspire Grog. Okay. As he's in it, I'll sing to him. Oh, well, it's just like the ocean, right over there, where the bride and groom died, and it made me really scared. I've got a lot of moves, but I can't do this alone,

so do something cool, make it quick, or else forget about it. Oh my god. Yes! That was great. I miss it so much. Me too. All right, so take that Inspiration Grog. Yes, d12, right?

Yes. You got it. All right, cool. Vranian's finishing that round there. Top of the round, Percy, you're up. Fudge. I'm going to peek my head up over the cliff one more time, see what the situation is. Okay. I'm going to peek my head up over the cliff one more time, see what the situation is. Okay.

So you shift up five, ten to peek off the top. Point that one. You see Grog being surrounded by all of them, and he's, how you looking, Grog? I'm okay. Okay, he's looking okay? Leading, but he's still just large and just slitting around.

One of them is grappling him, though, right? Correct. That's the one on that end there. Cool, I'm taking a shot at that one, and I'm going to be using, I'm going to be doing a trick shot, and I'm going to be getting him to drop. Okay, all right.

Go ahead and... Silas? No, the vampire that's holding you. Oh, cool. Nope. I'm spending the rest of my turn trying to get my gun to fix, so. That's a misfire.

No! Fuck! It was wet, it was just a little wet. You know? Yeah. Drop it. Keep your powder dry. Yeah, I can't shoot again, but I can at least

try and fix it for the rest of my life. Oh, let's draw that, yeah. Barely, so yeah. Because this is the one that sucks, so. Yep, just barely. I rolled terribly. Goddamn it. But it was a five, right? It was a five. With your dex and everything, you're fine. It was fine, but like.

So you repair the gun this turn. Yeah. You still have your movement if you want to finish. I'm definitely going to, since nothing happened, I'm definitely going to return to cover. I'm going to get some decent cover again. You got it. Goddamn it. Back down to that space there.

That was useless. All right. The vampire is now... Fucking useless. The one that's going to go ahead and attempt to assault. They're just going after you, trying to tear you down. You're the sincere danger right now. I understand.

That's going to be 15 to hit. Misses. Misses. to be 15 to hit. Misses. Misses. And a 24 to hit. Hits. So, does a claw attack you for 10, reduced to five? Five. Other one is going to attempt to hit you for 18? Misses. 18 misses. Claw stack attack there, misses.

That is going to be a 17, which misses you again. The other one has two more attacks against you. Natural 20. Ooh! Oh my god, man. Oh boy. That'll be... Oof, oof.

13 reduced to six points of slashing damage to you, and is going to attempt to bite-attack you. That is going to be a 19. Hits. So you take five, yeah, it bites into you, five points of piercing damage reduced to two, and you suffer six points of necrotic damage,

which reduces your maximum hit points by six. Gotcha. All right, and that finishes their go. They're going to go ahead and swarm over this way. This one's going to go ahead and shift over to this point there. And this one's going to go ahead and They're all in melee still, yeah.

move through his friend to that side there. They're rearranging and moving around you and trying to keep you confused and looking around. That finishes their go. Now it is Keyleth's turn. Keyleth, you manage to full movement. Up the elevator. Getting back up there.

Now you, out of the ground behind, clutching your sunbeam, but that's your action and movement to get up there. You watch as Silas looks over and sees you and goes, there's a look of recognition in his face. And I just go, as an elemental, in the same way. Can you spell what the rock is called?

Grog. Grog! You got it. I just look at Grog and I go. What does that mean? I'm open! Over here! All right, Derek, your turn.

Is there one of those two vampires that's still on its feet, the one that's grappling Grog? There is, it's this one here. All right, so am I able to close that distance? I can't tell. 15, 25, 30, what's your speed? It is 30. 30, you have those distance on the left.

I will spend a superiority die, wait, what's that? So you cannot, you cannot close the distance. You spend a superiority die to lunge attack that, so you get an extra five feet. Oh yeah, go for it. Superiority die, this man. 19, definitely hits. If that hits, go ahead and roll some damage, yo.

Is that great? No, we want that sweet, sweet 20. Sweet, sweet 20. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You do have advantage on the attack, don't forget, because you are technically pincering. Give me a 20. Actually, no, against that guy,. You do have advantage on the attack, don't forget, because you are technically pincering.

Give me a 20. Actually, no, against that guy you do not have. Sorry, against the corner guy you have advantage. What'd you lose? Against the guy you're attacking, you do not. So just go ahead and roll damage. Nice, I'm doing it. Okay, so here's the superiority die is four,

plus scanning new character, who dis? So 16, so 20 total for that. 20 total, great. You watch now between the damage that's already taken on that one, he's looking fairly hurt on that one. But that's my action and I can't reach them with the other two because it's only the first.

You can't reach that guy, unless you do more lunging attacks, you're going to reach that guy. Oh, then I'll unload the next two attacks on that fella. Got it. Who you have advantage with. You do have advantage against him because your Tempe Grog is putting him

in a flanking position. So that is 28 for that one. That hits. Okay. That is 16 points of damage. You got it. And the next one. Dang it, a 19.

I want it so bad. His six plus nine is 15. 15, oh, he's looking really rough, too. Both in a bad place. All right, that finishes your go. All done. Next up is Sylas. I can't believe vampires are bad.

Sylas now sees everyone else showing up in that position. Silas is going to take off this way. You bitch! Bitch! Attack him up, shit him to death. Attack her, because he's grappled, he doesn't. 40.

Does Grog get an attack? He does, if you want to use your reaction to hit him. I do. All right. Hit that Silas motherfucker. That's a 29. 29? Mm-hmm. Okay, that hits, roll damage.

11, 25, 29. Ooh. 34. Whoa. 25, 29. Ooh! 34. Whoa! Got a goalie. 36 with five points of necrotic in there. 36 points of distance. 36?

Disadvantageous with necrotic. Distance shot, but advantage. Make a twirl. Okay, he rushes up, looks right towards you, Keyleth, glowers at you. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me. Smear that motherfucker. Wisdom.

You're so wise. Wise as fuck. Wise. Wisdom saving throw? Yeah, wise as fuck. W-A-F. Waf. Waf. Which one? Which one? Don't fuck me. Don't fuck with this die.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 27. Wow. Yeah. Wow. All right. Waf. The charm does not affect your form. Charm. Charm. I also have advantage on saving being charmed.

There you go. Being Fey Ancestry. That's true. So roll again, why not? No, we'll stick with that first one. Okay, he now knows not to do that. All right, that finishes his turn there. That brings us to Grog. So I need to break the grapple if I want to move, right? Correct.

I want to do something, I want to. One big swipe. The one who's grappling you is the one that Liam lunged at, right? You make a big swipe. The one who's grappling you is the one that Liam lunged at, right? Uh-huh, I do have backup. Oh boy. Oh boy. Okay, I will, yeah, I'll take all three

frenzied attacks at, I'll start at the one that was grappling me. I have to spend my action to break the grapple, right? Okay, it's that guy there. You have to spend your action to break it, so if you want to attack him twice instead, it's up to you. Yeah, I'll attack him twice. Go for it.

He's already hit pretty hard. Hit, hit. Oh shit. That is a 35. That definitely hits, go ahead and roll damage. Okay. Nine, four, three, two, seven, two, three, two, three, two, 21, four points of necrotic, 21.

25 total. 25 total. Yeah, he's looking really rough. So you hack him, slams on the ground, like pancaked out, you withdraw the axe, and he's like trying to get back up. Next attack roll is? It's kind of cocky.

26? 26. Yes. Go ahead and roll damage. 21, 25. Hey, 25. Hey, 27. 27 with one point on necrotic for 28 total. He turns into mist. Wow. From the impact, you are no longer grappled.

No longer grappled with one more attack? With your bonus action, yeah. Yes. Slick. Excellent. Excellent, thank you. You've earned it. I will take it on the vampire that's closest to you.

All righty. 26 to hit? That hits, yeah, world damage. This guy has not been hit yet. 22, 26. 26 plus one point of a crotic for 27, and 30 total. 30, whoo, heavy strike.

Nice, that finish your turn? Yes, it does. All right, so I was going to use Legendary Action. Actually, my movement, heavy strike. Yeah. Nice, that finish your turn? Yes, it does. All right, so I was going to use Legendary Action. Actually, my movement, I still have my movement. You do. I am going to stay there. Okay. At the end of your turn,

Celest's going to use one of his Legendary Actions. Let's go ahead and move his speed. Oh, he went the other way? Son of a fuck. All right, let's go ahead and move his speed. Oh, he might be awake. Son of a fuck. All right, Vexen Pike, you're up. Okay, okay. Can we get on the board? Yes, you guys, with your movement,

can get up onto the board. Yes. And how far away are we from everything? Well, these vampires are roughly, like, we'll say 40, 45 feet. Okay. Silas is about 60 to 70 feet from you. As we crest the top of the hill, of the cliff, I'm going to take the pin that I took from Percy,

flip it in the air, throw it up and cast Conjure Barrage. Whoa! Oh, damn. I'll allow it. With it, that's everything in a 60-foot cone. What? That includes, who you wanted to hit, like everyone here, including Grog? Yeah. All righty. So you take the- That's a dex save.

Dex save on them, all righty. I'm good for those. So both vampires. What's the DC? 17. 17, no, both fail. I rolled a 17. Hey, nice. It's 60 feet, you said?

Yep. Gotcha. Hey Matt, what's that ring on, did a vampire go invisible or something? That's mist. That's mist. Thank you. I was trying to waste my time. So that's 11 points. 11 points, all righty. 11 points of damage.

But at the same time, as that's hitting, yeah, I'm going to say, Silas! Delilah Briarwood was a bitch. I'm going to cast Blessing of the Dawnfather as a bonus action.ing of the Dawnfather as a bonus action. Ooh, the Dawnfather. So I light up with the Light of Day.

You're now emanating like a sun in a certain radius around you. 120 feet. Ooh, 120 feet around you? Yep. Oh, that's like most of the map. Yes. Yeah. Emanating.

Okay. Okay, then. Priscilla. Uh-oh! Pike, your turn. My turn? Yeah, what do you do? Fuck, fuck. Foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo.

Okay, I am going to hold my holy symbol, and I am going to create a spiritual weapon. Okay, what kind of weapon do you want to make? I want it to look like Fen'zhras, but gold, all gold. Okay. And I want to make a bow for Vex.

Ooh. I'll allow it. Interesting. Oh shit! So you'll be giving up your spiritual weapon bonus action attacks, but you'll be outfitting her with a magical bow. Fine. Dope. Do I get arrows in it?

Yeah, it creates arrows. Magical feathered bow. Fine. Dope! Do I get arrows in there? Yeah, it creates arrows. Magical feather. Whoa! Would that be with my normal attack or would that be like the spiritual weapon attack? No, it would be your normal attack and consider magical.

Let's take a plus one. Dope! That's pretty, that's a creative use of that all out. Okay. For sure, for sure. So that's a bonus action. And then I would also like to cast Daylight over Silas. Daylight right here?

Yeah. What's the range on it? 60 feet. 60 feet. Ooh, yeah, so you create this large beam. So Vex'ahlia is now just this star that, everyone right now over in Shmuel Bay sees this bright, shining light, like a tiny little bead of the sun just appeared on this cliff face,

and then a secondary daylight orb just appeared on this far corner. You watch the vampires inside, that's all all shrinking down from both radiant blasts that are just bearing down on them. That's your action that finishes your turn, Pike? Yep. All right. Oh, we already did the movement.

Scanlan, you're up. I'm up. Oh fuck, ball of shit. He's like 60 feet away from me. Fuck you, you're so dumb. And he's fleeing. You don't know, he moved back. He moved back. I will unload my wand of fireballs at him.

At Silas? Wow. Yes. All right, how many? It's a million, so I think it's unfair to use all of them. If I use all of it, it's an eighth-level fireball spell. That's up to you, man. Fucking nuke that guy. Yes, I will do that. Sure, you can take it.

All right, so that's third level, so that's... I'm taking it. One, two, three, four, five. That's five additional, so that's 13d6. I hope he's not fire-resistant. Like 36 or 40 points of damage. Just put it far enough away from me if you can. He's going to make a dex save, what's the DC for the?

I'm actually resisting the fire. It's just the standard spell, it's not my spell, so you can save DC, so it's like a 13 or 14 or something. So he makes the save, so he's half damage. Half damage, oh, bullshit. Okay, that's okay. It's still alive. It's still like 70. Let me see, count these up, that's okay. It's still a lot of moves. It's still like seven decent.

Let me see, count these up. This is 12, so there's one more after this. Oh my god, there's another one there. Uh-huh, you're right. Okay, oh boy, this is a lot of math. Might be the second largest amount of dice rolled next to Akeelh's clip dive. Nothing will ever top that dice roll.

52. 52, oof. Silas takes 26 fire damage. The explosion is, I mean, you've seen some fireballs, but this is like dense nuclear hydrogen fire as it burns in the space. As soon as the fire spirals and burns away, you see Silas hunkered down in a shell position. The sunlight bearing down on him. You can see it burning his flesh and the vampires in the vicinity are like,.

Sweet. You moved out to fire that? Yes, I did. I'll move a little bit towards the battle, towards Darragh, as far as I can go. Okay, that'll get you out there. And I will inspire, who's going to do something cool? Probably Keyleth?

After you. You're after me? Percy and me. You can't see me, though. You got Keyleth. You're after me. Percy and me. You got Keyleth, you can see Vex, you can see Grog, you can see Pike. Pike. And you can see Dirk. Fuck, they're all right there. I will inspire...

I will inspire Keyleth, because she's up next, although she doesn't really need me. Your spells just happen. You don't need to roll. I'm in range. You're in range? You need it.

There's an exact amount of squares to get me on Silas. Okay, I will inspire you. I'll sing to you. You got skills, they're multiplying. But you're losing control. With the power I'm supplying, it's inspiration of Fionn. Oh! I had it. I was with you up until then.

But I said, Fionn! This is why they're legendary. Begrudgingly take your d12. These stories are true! Take none of your turn. 12. That's it. All right. If your turn. 12. That's it. All right, and if your turn,

Salas is going to use another legendary action to move 40 feet. Goddamn it! But I provoked him! Damn it. Now it's a card chase. Ah, wow. Radius.

No, no. Damn it. What's the radius of your sunlight? 120 feet. He's still in the action. What's the radius of your sunlight? 120 feet. He's still on the radius. All right, that finishes. He's still on the radius.

Percy, it's your turn. I'm going to back the fuck up from this dude, but while I do, I'm going to take a shot. Ooh, yeah, you're over there. Over here, you mean? Yeah, I'm going to be backing up and heading towards Keyleth, yeah. Got it.

For my full movement, and I'm going to be. Full and heading towards Keyleth. Got it. For my full movement, and I'm going to be... Full movement? Yeah, whatever, and if I can find cover from him, too, at the end of my movement. Okay, you'll probably have to move back here. Yeah. I'm going to hit him with a... I'm going to try and do a called shot, and I'm going to try and hit him in the leg. Okay. With this terrible, terrible gun.

That's a 21 to hit. That hits, just barely. So that's a trick shot. So I don't have the data here, because this is not the full character sheet. What's that, it's a leg or wing shot. Right, so he has to make a strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Yes.

That would help a lot. Yeah. He also takes his damage. That's correct. That is going to be a 22. Oh yeah, he saves that. He makes it. But he still takes 14 points of damage. 14 points of damage, you got it. He's starting to look a little haggard.

You can see now, between the sweat and the dark undead blood that's pouring out of his face, he's starting to look like he's not doing great. I'm going to take another, going to take a, I can't remember any of the names of anything, a deadeye, one more deadeye shot, just to make sure I hit him. Go for it.

27 to hit. That hits, roll damage. That's 12 points. 12 points. I only have two more hit points left. Fuck it, one more Dead Shot, go for it. It's your wedding day, man. Yay!

That's a critical. Yes! Which is Hemorrhaging Shot. Which is a Hemorrhaging Shot, which means? Go for it. It's your wedding day, man. Yay! That's a critical. Yay! Which is a hemorrhaging shot. Which is a hemorrhaging shot, which means? He takes half the damage next turn that he takes from this shot. Yeah. So.

Scone Warrior, your critical damage. Which is? Ah-ha! Wow. That's 26 points of piercing damage. Ooh! Ooh, fuck. He'll take 13 the next turn. Yep. At the beginning of his turn. And I fuck. He takes 13 next turn.

Yep. At the beginning of his turn. And I also get back one of my points, which I'm going to use to make one last deadeye shot. Go for it. You flexed on your ankle first. That's a 20 to hit. 20 just misses. Just misses. Well, I'm going to burn my last

Accident Surge and take four more shots. Four more shots? Let the man work. Level 20 fighter, man. Let the man work. That's a 27 to hit. That hits, roll damage. Oh my god.

That's seven points of damage. Seven points, got it. How many shots is that? Eight. That's 24 to hit. That hits, roll damage. Yeah, that's my bonus action. That's 15. 15, all righty.

Two more, let's just take them together. Go for it. Oh no. Oh my god! And it jams on me, and I put it away. You dart off behind, but you got like a just unloading in his house as he's running backward, just taking all these shots to the chest.

You see splatters and explosions across as each bullet impacts his torso. That finishes your turn. I'm ducking and hiding. You duck behind. End of your turn, he's going to use his last legendary action to move. Come on.

He shifts 40 more feet over to this side. He is running from the light, because that shit is about to burn his face. Shit. All righty, that brings us to the vampire's turn. At the top of the turn, they both take 20 points of radiant damage for being in the sunlight. The one who's been heavily damaged here burns away.

The mist burns away. Ah! Only one of them managed to pull away, and the other one takes 20 additional points of damage from that. For his turn, he's going to run from Grog and attempt to follow suit and satisfy him. I will take an attack of opportunity against him.

Go for it. That is a 24 to hit. 24 hits. Three, 17, 21. Two points of necrotic, or 23, 27 points of slashing damage. Shit! He's unable to turn into mist form

while in the sunlight, that was just like four damage over his maximum. He just runs and just ash goes onto the rock surface there. You fuck. All right, that ends their turn. Keyleth, you're up.

Can I use my bonus action to turn into an air elemental? Sure. Asshole. I know. Yeah. Bonus action air elemental. Fly speed of 90 feet towards Silas. Wow. Fuck him up. Yes, queen. Bonus action air elemental, fly speed of 90 feet towards Silas. Wow. Fuck him up.

Yes, queen. 70. That's good. Yeah. Okay, and I still have my sunbeam going. You do. Last a minute. So I'm going to take the daylight that Pike threw out and the starlight from Vex, and I want to toss my ball of sunlight into it

to make a massive sunlight orb, and then I'm going to take it and I want to harness it and I want to drive it right into it. So what you're saying is you're full-on Son Goku. Like, I'm in. Yes! I'm in! Yes.

Okay. Combining all sunlight elements into his face. All right, what is the saving throw for that? It's, wait, I switched to air elemental, hang on. I think it's a constitution. Get a girl. Fuckin' hell. Don't do this to me. Get a girl.

Don't do this to me right now. Cheat tape. Get a girl. Check. Yeah, hang on. Let me double check, let me double check. Sunbeam is constitution. Yeah. He gets 18.

Your DC is? 21. 21, he's going to use another Legendary Resistance to save. No, sorry, 20. Yeah, he still fails, so you use Legendary Resistance to save. No, sorry, 20. Yeah, he still fails, so you use Legendary Resistance to succeed. So go ahead and roll damage, he takes half. Okay, half damage.

Okay, seven, 10, 14, 19, 25. 25 reduced to half. Radiant damage. He takes 13 radiant damage. It burns him. His regeneration is off. He's in a bad place. That finish your turn, Keyleth?

Yeah. All right, Keyleth is done. It's now your turn, Derek. Derek is going to run up to Grog and swing his sword around in his hand and smack the butt of it into Grog's back as hard as he can, whack. I'm gonna spend a superiority die

to use my maneuvering attack so a friend or ally can, as a reaction, move half movement. So I'm going to hit Grog in the back and say, tell her to go! And have Keyleth move half her movement forward. Okay, so using the superiority. That'll put you to cut off Silas.

So you manage to move around and cut him off, preparing your next blast, and Silas sees that. After the first blast, you're this way, everyone else is this way, he's starting to think of what his next step is to escape. Sick. That finish your turn? Yeah, I'll just leave it at that.

Sick, sick, sick. All right, that makes it Silas' turn. Silas gets his legendary actions back. Oh no, he's way far away. He is technically now out of the radius of the sun, so he doesn't take radiant damage at the start of his turn. But he does take the 13 from Percy.

He does take the 13 from Percy. And then hopefully. He is going to turn into a bat. Oh! Goes into his bat form, and I'll use... Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Licensing! We'll save the purpose of that, I'll just keep this

as the bat form. Giant bat! Huge bat. It's going to, it's action, it's movement, it's going to be 40 volts of bat, yeah. He goes and is going to scoot off in this direction. Don't scoot off. He is trying to just get out of there the best he can.

You're an air card right now? I'm an air elemental, yo. So you can fly? I can fly. Yeah. Lightning or a ship, I can't remember. So. Yeah, you can. That ends his turn. Grog? Yeah, I will run 50 feet in his direction.

I will use my action to double that to 100. All right, so you rush and you get basically right where Keyleth is. How high off the ground is he? Right now, he's about 40 feet off the ground. Yeah, I'm just going to fucking throw my bloodaxe up at him. Go for it. Yes.

Giant toss. Drone in the sky. That's a 28 to hit. That hits. 26, which is 30. 34 points of necrotic for 34, and 35 total. Wait, four points of necrotic? Four points of necrotic for 34, and 35 total. Wait, four points of necrotic? Four points of necrotic, so 35 total. Does that heal him, necrotic?

I think it's like half damage on him. Yeah. Okay. The axe buries him from underneath, and you watch. Let me see here. Yeah, the bat double-checks his polymorph into it, so yeah, the bat form drops, and he slams onto the ground right next to you. Oh shit.

As Silas? As Silas, yeah. Oh guys, you could good fellas kick him right on the ground. He reduces the damage. He has resistance anyway, so he takes a very little damage from the impact and lands on the ground right there. So it was your action to throw.

I used my action to double my speed, and my bonus action was to throw, so that's it. Right. Yeah, that'll be it. Because of the frenzy, yeah. Yep. All right, that brings us to Pike and Vax. Yeah, Vax.

Do this. I run forward. You run forward? As much as I can to put him back in the daylight. Okay. He would be... It's 120 feet. He's just outside of the daylight

with that movement speed. Even if you double with your action, you double run? If she wanted to. If I double run, but then I don't get an attack. But I could fire. Possibly. It's up to you. Your magical fucking awesome bow. Of course you're going to shoot.

Well, it's not a radiant bow. It doesn't do radiant damage. Does it? Because it's pike? The spiritual weapon is radiant damage. So it would do radiant? For this, yes. Get it. Come on.

All right, fuck it, then I'm going to fucking try to hit him with a fucking arrow. Ride Zilla up in this bitch. Kill a bitch, 20. He is prone, so he has disadvantage on the attacks. Oh, he's prone, I thought he landed like poosh. No, it was like douche. No, he did, he rolled athlex, right, so he did land like that.

It's more like douche, not boosh, but douche. Yeah, right, he did. We start with the douche and we end with the boosh. So let's look at the range on this. Longbow is 150 foot range. Yeah, he's in your range of command. So notice some damage. 90 plus 16.

That hits, go to roll damage. Come on, Vex. Do this. Oh, bonus action, Hunter's Mark. Yay! Okay. What's the range on Hunter's Mark? Oh. 60 feet. Probably. Yeah, he's out of your range for it. That's okay. Whatever. That's okay. Oh, but he's mark. Yay! Okay. What's the rage on Hunter's mark? Oh. 60 feet.

Probably. Yeah, he's out of your range for it. Whatever. That's okay. Oh, but he's surrounded, I get sneak attack, bitch! Yep, you do. Ha! Rogue two. Ha!

Okay, wait. Okay. Yate. So, eight, that's 16, plus 24 lightning. 18, plus 24 lightning. 18 plus... Ooh. Ooh. 18, 24, 29, 30. Come on.

Oh, come on. 30, and then radiant damage? Let's consider radiant damage, yeah. 30 points of radiant damage. Wonderfully poetic. How do you want to do that? Oh! My god.

Sorry, sorry. Oh jeez. You ruin my rehearsal dinner. You better be glad this wasn't tomorrow. Well, you're not going to be glad at all, because I'm going to keep moving forward. As I'm saying it, I'm going to put him in radiant blast as I shoot him.

So as you fire each blow, he falls to the ground and you see his body begin to turn into mist. Right as he falls on his back and begins to turn into mist, the outer range of Pelor's Blessing on you. The Dawnfather's radiant. You watch him scream as his body just flicks into a hundred pieces of gray ash before it

just dissipates. I go for goose purple. What? I got no sleep. Wow. I can't believe that motherfucker killed me the day before our wedding. I know.

You were right. I'm alive. You look great. Thank you, Pike. Who is that? Thank you. You're so bright. Sorry, no, this is going to last for a while.

Sorry about that, Grog. It's got an hour effect. I was actually going to say, you look a little tired. Is it? Don't tell a bride she looks tired. The day before the wedding. What's wrong with you? God.

I can't believe you did this just the night before your wedding day. Pointy-faced piece of shit. That's right. You guys, seriously, we would have been dead. Dead, dead. Thank you. Thank you.

Please. What's a best man for? I'm pretty sure not this, but this was good. Did Terry not even come? He didn't even come to fucking save us. Yeah, he was pretty assed out. I think he's still probably sleeping. What happened?

I think a lot of the people. Everyone was drugged at your wedding. At this point, you can now see a large group of people rushing up towards the cliff side, the beacon of sunlight drawing their attention toward this is happening, and you watch as Allura, Kima, Gilmore, Terry, Dottie, every member of the dinner that was present,

arriving in various states of toxicity, battered, bruised, but whatever makeshift weapons in hand they could find, ready to come up here and join a fray that you guys had already finished. As they all come up, Gilmore looks around. Well, looks like we got it handled. Never a worry.

I'm going to have to say it's a beautiful spot, though. It is. I know, actually, this is a bit nicer than, there's a little bit of dust. A little bit of starlight is coming out. Well, we better not risk it. If we waited another day, there could be another attack. I'm down with you, Al. Oh yes, I brought it.

Also, side note, your dad hasn't arrived yet. Oh. Bonus. Sort of perfect, then. You really do have a beautiful glow about you. Very bright. Pike? Pike, if you would. Sure, should we have someone go get Vesper? Or do you want her to sleep?

Let her sleep. Okay. Let me just take out my officiate. Yes. There's no traces of briarwood or anything, right? No fingers or jewels or jewelry or anything? I don't know, it was his. Oh my god. Does that work?

Yes! Amazing. Okay. I'm going to use a major image to make a chuppah over them. Oh, thank you. And I'll use druidcraft to make a bouquet of snowdrops and hand it to her.

Grog? Yeah. Oh shit, fuck! And I, in my giant, enlarged form, smash the stones and I grabble up like a bunch of pebbles, can I stop? Throw at them. How appropriate. I stand behind Percy. Tarek?

Hello, yes! I was just waiting for my cue. Just get the fuck out, then. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Are you guys ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cammon, walk me. Oh, yes, yes. I'm supposed to walk you down the aisle. Here, come with me. We'll go to the edge of the cliff, and I don't know where the ceremony's happening. Maybe the ceremony's

happening on the edge of the cliff, so we'll go in a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will transform into a triceratops. Interesting choice. And you can get on my back. Okay. And I will roar a mighty roar. Roar!

And I'll walk her down the aisle with a little flare. What Briar would call back. You don't have to. No, you're perfect. Some civility, I suppose. I get there and climb off of Scanlan. Thank you.

Thank you. So glad I asked you to do that. Okay. Hello, everyone. One and all. Welcome to this most blessed union of two of my best friends in the whole wide world. Don't worry, Grog, you're my very, very bestest friend.

Okay. I feel so lucky that I was chosen to marry these two most wonderful people. You have all traveled a great distance to join in this celebration, and a celebration it will be. Oh, well. Okay.

Okay. These two here are my family, a family we have all chosen. Lady Vex'ahlia, my sister, and Lord Percival Frederick Stein von Musil. Do it. Gloholski. D'Arrollo III. You for effort.

My brother. My life is richer for having known you. And speaking of, well, we were supposed to do this tomorrow, so I was going to put an empty chair here for Vex, so that wherever you are, we have a seat here waiting for you. Vex, mother of bears and wayward souls, you are loyal, you love fiercely, and above all, you are kind. Percy, you are dashing, and you are loyal,

and you love fiercely, and although you wouldn't want anyone to know it, you are very, very kind. You are now embarking on a journey of love, a love train. So spoil each other. Make each other laugh, encourage each other, comfort each other, but most importantly, have lots and lots of sex.

And please, for Auntie Pike, have lots of babies. Well, now it's time for your vows. Who would like to go first? Roll for vows. for your vows. Who would like to go first? Roll for vows. Roll for vows. Good tradition. 10. Six. All right.

Does that mean I go first, or you do? It means you pick. I pick, oh wow. Oh. You first, darling. When I met you, I was at the lowest place I had ever been. I was barely human. I had lost anything that mattered, and I had sunk into a deep, over-romantic shadow. Then this new family came along, and you came along.

And slowly, through time and experience, I learned from you that you can have a romanticized notion of the darkness within yourself, but that darkness must be cast by some light, and there's no sense not romanticizing that as well, and that I could find myself in that again. Every time I thought I would sink, I would see your face.

Your face the first time I truly lost control, and you told me to take off the mask. You have given me a future I had cheaply sold away. You have given me a family I thought forever lost and a future I was prepared to sacrifice for. Something so trivial trivial I just literally just watched you take it

and it means nothing compared to this I promise to walk into the future with you I promise to build a family with you and I promise

to always be here for an adventure with you. Percival, darling. Darling. Fuck. I don't know when it happened. When I fell. I sat down and tried to write vows and pinpoint the moment, but... Was it when I first met you? Dressed in rags?

Starved? Was it... Was it when I saw you overcome that darkness inside, standing tall and proud and unbroken. I thought for sure it was when you stood next to me and helped me face fears I hadn't spoken aloud and support me in a way that no one other than other than my brother had ever done

but honestly even by that point I I'd fallen I think it happened through all the little moments that I didn't even notice. You sleeping on my shoulder in the Feywild, or... Or when I saw you bent over, laughing so hard you spit chicken out of your mouth

because Scanlan had an arrow in his neck. I think... I never expected... anyone... I never expected.....anyone.....to mean as much to me as... ..as Vaxeldon. To be as important to me, to feel like another half. There was a hole in my heart.

And I truly believe the only reason I didn't perish from it is because you were holding my heart so tightly. I thank the gods I gave it to you. It is yours. Forever and always. I gave it to you. It is yours, forever and always. I love you, dear. I'm so glad we're together. Okay.

Vex, do you promise to take this man and cherish him and love him in every way? I do. Percy, do you promise to take this woman and cherish her and love her in every way? I do. Do you also promise to love and cherish Trinket for all of his days? I'm aware that's part of the bargain. Vex, Percy, it's time.

It's by the power invested in me. Oh, where? Oh shit, sorry. Oh, I forget. It's my first time. Pike, it's fine. Rings. And you have both of them?

Oh, I have both of them, yes. Okay. Pike, before you do this, may I just offer one more word? Yes, of course. I didn't buy you a gift because nothing is expensive enough for you. And, you know, I threw the one thing that you loved away in the acid pit, so instead I wanted to give you as a gift, just a wish.

A wish that your brother would be able to speak to you for just a moment or two on your wedding day. Is that possible? I'll cast Wish. Okay. How do you word your wish? I wish that Vax'ildan can say a few words at his sister's wedding. A cold breeze comes drifting over the cliff face, passes by each of you, and you glance in the direction of the cliffside, and you see this dark silhouette towering 10, 15, 20 feet, a billowing mane of black hair and feathers, and a single white mask. From under the cloak, as it opens,

you see a familiar set of black leather armor, a feathered mantle, and black hair, as Vax'ildan, the eternal champion and companion to the Raven Queen, steps for the first time in over a year, briefly, on this mortal plane. You said there's a mask affixed? As he steps forward,

you can see what looks to be this blackened leather raven-type face. Elements of it remind you of Percival's mask, but it's elegant and detailed. One other small detail from the shoulder, rising up, looking like a cross between the cordyceps fungus and bone spirals up and out of his shoulder and up his neck a bit. Scanlan Shorthalt. You are toying with the designs

of the gods still, I see, old friend. But I didn't have a present, so. She will allow it. And thank you. Hello. Can you come over here? He's very, very big, you said? No, she is. The Raven Queen was big.

She's with him? She's big, he's awesome. She's the image that allowed you, that's okay. So the Raven Queen's visage opened up the cloak, and that's where Vax'Alan stepped out. Thank you. Okay. His face comes off. It's just a skull. Am I allowed to hug him?

In the instance? I don't know how this works. I am so glad for you. A child. Yeah, a little girl. Like our mother. Yes. Named after her. I missed you so much.

I know. I am no longer worried for you. I know. The de Rolo family is born anew. Congratulations to her, idiot. Thank you. Don't be weird, talk normal, talk normal, talk normal. Do not worry about me. I am safe and taken care of. I am always with you.

I know. I know. You will live. As long as all of your hearts are beating, I will live within them. And my love will never dim. How beautiful you look. I am so proud

of all of you. Turn around. Hail to the Tempest. Don't be weird, go hug her. Drifts over and wraps Keyleth. Hello, my love. My home. Zephrah blossoms under your boughs as I knew it would. It's not the same without you. It will not be.

How am I supposed to get over you if you keep sending ravens to me? I am imperfect, as are the gods. That was my poor attempted humor. I'll never get over you. Nor I. But you will live.

And your life will touch thousands. Thanks to you. Your children. I'll watch over hers. And her. For as long as I live. Speech? I pull her in, closer.

I am far, but not gone. We know. Forgive me. There's nothing to forgive. Nothing. We get to go on. Nothing. We get to go on. Because of you. It's not taken lightly.

He begins to look around the entire group. Your Grace. Dedoink. Thank you. Liv. And he scatters against the wall. No, before he goes, what about the boots? You watch the feathers scatter and you look back and there's the cliff

and the figure, the image of the Raven Queen is no more. Perfection, Scanlan. That was a perfection. Remarkable present. I hope so. I think it was my last wish. Ever? I think so.

What'd you roll? 17. I think that's your last wish. What do you mean? It's okay, it's worth it. But it's worth it. Yeah. Sorry to interrupt, Pike.

That was the greatest of all interruptions. Well. Kiki, come stand with me, okay? All right, well, now that we all got to be here, now it's time. So, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now please kiss each other. Blah-la-la-la!

That's real good. A lot of clacking. He with druidcrafts, 1,000 fireflies to just explode outward. I shoot off a bunch of lightning bolts out of my dick. As all the friends watching, faces damp with tears, smiles wide with joy, eyes glistening with bits of moonlight

come through the darkened sky, the laughter and the music begins as an evening of unexpectedly sudden celebration comes to the wedding day one day early and to celebrate the joining of Lord and Lady DeRollo of Whitestone. Pike, look. I caught the bouquet.

The fuck you did? Booze! That's mine! Well, that's it for our adventure tonight. I've never done a wedding in game. That's crazy. That was amazing. You guys, I love you so much. And have everything that weddings should have.

Vampires, drowning, poison. Light bondage. When this one shot apparated through the Kickstarter, I was like, I want there to be another element of closure to this. What are some hanging threads in the campaign? And I was like, fuck. Yeah, you just got to fuck up.

Like, fucking you. Oh, man. Fucked up Sil like, fuck. Yeah, you just got to fuck up. Oh man. Fucked up Silas, man. That's great. Loose ends tied up. There's just a vat of seven Delilahs somewhere buried deep beneath the earth. Once we're done with those, we're in the clear. Come close.

Can we get the deposit back on the venue? Unfortunately, we're not covered for an act of empire. We're not covered for acts of empire. We're going to have a really badass game tomorrow, though. Yes. Post-celebration. All right, well, thank you guys. Love you. Love you so much.

Love you all. Thank you guys so much for joining us. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Well, have a wonderful night. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Not soon enough. Good night.

Oh, so good. So good. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. To help new listeners discover the show, please give us a rating and review on whatever podcasting app you're listening on.

Until next time, is it Thursday yet?