Critical Role - Welcome, Campers! | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 1 Part 2

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Part 2 of Episode 1 It's the last day at Veth Brenatto's adventure camp, but with four campers lacking merit badges, Veth calls in a couple friends to teach some camp spirit...   BEACONWe’re excited to bring you even MORE with a Beacon membership! Start your 7-day free trial today at https://beacon.tv/join and get unparalleled access to the shows you love completely ad-free! You’ll receive NEW Beacon exclusive series, instant access to VODs & podcasts, live event pre-sales, merch discounts, & a private Discord. YOUTUBE MEMBERS / TWITCH SUBSCRIBERSTwitch Subscribers and YouTube Members gain instant access to VODs of our shows, moderated live chats, and custom emojis & badges:https://www.youtube.com/criticalrole/joinhttps://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole   Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources 

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Think of it as our digital Critical Role land. Head on over to beacon.tv to check it out for yourself and start a seven-day free trial. Thank you so, so much for your support, for being a podcast listener, and for being a part of our community. Hey there, critters. We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Exandria, The Re-Slayer's Take.

In this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Isilra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures. Here, the Slayer's Take is the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and re-slay these supernatural threats as the Re-Slayer's Take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria

battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast

including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux, and Jasmine Shion. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts, or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early of Wildemount Wildlings. So if you haven't checked out part one yet, pause this now and head over there first. In this three-episode miniseries, we're following the antics of four angsty teen campers

and their legendary counselors Beauregard Lionette and Yasha Nye Doran as an unexpected turn of events flings this unlikely band of adventurers into a quest of a lifetime. New episodes of Wildemount Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Pacific on Beacon, Twitch, and YouTube, with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following Mondays at noon. If you want instant access to podcast content and an ad-free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6 p.m. Pacific on Thursdays. Plus, you can also check out our Beacon-exclusive show Critical Role Cooldown and experience the cast's post-show reactions

to each episode. Now let's wild out and jump into the much-anticipated second half of this episode. Wait, Sam! The listeners need a part one recap! It's the last day at Wildmont Wildlings, and to Camp Director Veth's disappointment, the Olga Cabin has yet to earn any merit badges. Veth brings in her friends Bo and Yasha from the Mighty Nine to teach the kids, Kai, Skye, Padment, and Jessop, some team building skills so they can earn a badge and stay at the camp. After a game of snatch the pinecone, Yasha is ready to lead the campers in a round of tug of war. Alright, we've got, we've got, we're going to do a little game of strength. Okay. This is, many people like to call this game Tug of War, which I'm not really sure why it's called that,

because war is violent and bloody and brutal. Where I'm from, if you lost, you would be stoned to death. But anyway, today we will call it the Pull of Peace. And all of you are going to be against me and Beau. Oh boy. Work as a team, pull hard, and try to beat us. Mm-hmm.

You got this. All right. Sure enough, a rope is strung out over that bridge. All of you take one side, Beau and Yasha on the other. They're very strong, even though their abilities have been reduced a little bit, they're very strong athletes. So Luc comes over and explains to you that, hey, the rules are the same here.

You guys can do whatever you want. You can cast a spell, you can try to distract them. You can go punch one of them in the leg, whatever you want to try to do. Of course, if you spend your action doing something other than pulling, there will be a little bit of a disadvantage. However, that disadvantage might be made up for

by the advantage that you get by messing up one of them. So plan wisely. Is Archibald still around? Archibald will stay here for the rest of my natural board life unless he is dismissed or destroyed by magic. That's awesome, I love having this third guy around. I'm going to turn over to Jessup

as we're heading to the next thing and just go, hey, I noticed that your voice got extraordinarily loud after your spell fizzled. It did, it was really upsetting. Do you have a hard time controlling your magic? Only when anxiety kicks in, yeah. Got it. Because it's very difficult.

I actually have no control over it. Have you considered feeling different emotions than anxiety? You know, you make a good point, but I'll try that next time. You know, you make a good point. But I'll try that next time. Okay. I wish you had gotten the Pine Code.

Wow. That's really sweet. Thank you so much. I wish that, too. That was really cool what you did, even though it took about 30 minutes, but it was... Yeah, I don't know why we would be in a rush. While this is happening,

can I hand a little dagger to Archibald? To the frog? Yeah. Sure, you can hand an actual- I can't communicate with him, right? I mean, do you speak frog? I don't, but I just give him my dagger. Okay. I give him a little wink. He's going to try to pick it up with his frog mouth.

It's pretty heavy and it's bigger than he is, but he drags it away a little bit. Do I see this frog? Of course you do. Kai. There's no way that that is approved equipment. Where did you get that? The frog had it, not me.

I saw you give it to the frog. The frog lent it to me, and then I'm just giving it to you. The frog that's existed for 20 minutes lent it to you? He's very well equipped. Did you see his teeth? I did. Must have been a very expensive procedure. It's disturbing. No, he's got the full veneers going.

Look, how about this? I got to confiscate this dagger. I'll give it back to you if you win Toge of War. And then maybe I'll teach you some knife throwing. Okay. As you go to pick up the dagger out of the mouth of the frog, you see that, as you've been talking,

the frog has, in the bottom of her tree trunk, has carved a little P, heart A, for Padman Love's Archibald, in the side of the tree trunk. Archibald, we haven't established that. I'm not saying it's not true, but I'm saying you're jumping the gun. I've only been alive for one day

and I've never experienced love. I just thought I would try it. That's such a short timeline by a guy. I know, but this might be it. This might be my only chance. I just feel like this is the beginning and the end for me. This is beautiful, guys. I just want to say this is beautiful.

Take the dagger and kind of... No. Archibald, relinquish the blade! And relinquish it, he does, and hops back over to your side. All right, I'll put it up on my shoulder. I give him a little kiss. I knew we had a special connection.

I created you. Kind of showing off. One end of the rope. Showing off a little bit, take the dagger and I flick it to the archery arrow right in the bullseye. Perfect. Amazing. She's pretty good at that. Guys, I think for this one, we should have a time limit.

So we're just going to say, how about if this doesn't end in the next 30 seconds or so, we call it, all right? 30 seconds? Yeah. That's plenty of time. All right. As long as it's under 10 minutes, you can't do any ritual casting, so honestly, it could be nine minutes and,

yeah, 59 seconds and we'd be okay. All right, so everybody grips the rope and is ready to pull. The rules here, guys, are that we'll just say there's an imaginary line, which I'm sure Matt has something, right? What does he have that I can use? God, he's got so much shit.

Oh no, I cursed! Oh! Put it in the jar. Put a box in the jar. Do you need some money? I probably do. I actually said the S word, so put another five in there. Okay.

I said it, and it was wrong. I got two fives here. Okay. Goes straight into the jar. I think it's thunder. These are hard to shove in there. They are. Harder than regular dollars. Yeah, they are.

Let's just say that this is the centerpiece of the rope, and if you can move it 10 feet in either direction, you win. Okay. You'll each get to make strength rolls if you're going to pull. I will average them out, so the four of your scores will be averaged out, the two of yours will be averaged out.

If any one of you chooses to spend their turn doing something other than pulling, it will be a minus two to your strength score. However, it might give you a big advantage if you can deceive, distract, injure, do whatever you want to try to do to Beau and Yasha. And I guess let's just start it up, shall we? Why doesn't everybody,

including Beau and Yasha, roll for initiative? Okay. Okay. And we'll see what happens. Did anyone get more than 20? No. No. 15 to 20. Wait, I got over 20. Hold on. What's my initiative? I got 21. Wait, I got over 20, hold on.

What's my initiative? I got 21. Woo, doctor! Woo, doctor! And Padmin got 15. Anybody get from 10 to 15? 12, I rolled low. 12, do we add our initiative modifier?

12 for me. Okay, okay. I'm really low. I got three. And Kai? Okay. You're after game. Yeah. I got a nine then. Okay, great. No problem. Thank you.

All right, so it looks like, you know what? Let's have the Yasha and Beau side go first. So Yasha, are you going to pull or do something else? I am raging. Yes, you are. And? Let's have a strength check. Yes. Go for it.

Okay. Are we allowed to manipulate the rope before the match begins? No! The match has begun. Nice. That is a 21. Okay, Beau, are you going to pull or do something else?

I want to do something else. Okay. Because I have a very buff wife. Yes, you do. So I think she got it. So I want to keep them on their toes. Me too. Okay, great. Quite literally. So I'm going to take the rope,

and you know in CrossFit how people do the, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do the this thing? Sure, sure, sure. So I want to flip the rope, see if I could just pop a couple of them in the mouth with it. Amazing.

A little pop pop in the mouth. They're just flying. I guess roll an attack on your unarmed strike. Yes. And see what you get. Unarmed strike, and then I'm going to do a flurry of blows to do two more to try and get you. Oh my god!

To get you. Hold on. To get all four of them. I think it'll get all, do I get two attacks at level three? I haven't been level three in so long! I don't know. We're just going to start.

I don't know how D&D works. I don't know. Okay. That's bad. I rolled bad. That's going to be 10 for the first one? Okay. That's bad. I rolled bad. That's going to be 10 for the first one. Okay. Still really bad.

That's going to be eight for the second one. I rolled a two. Oh my god, and a three, so a nine. Okay, so does anyone have an AC less than 10? No. Yeah. Wait, you do? Wait, what? No, no, your AC is 11. Yeah, you're good to go. Just kidding. No. Yeah. Wait, you do? Wait, what? No, no, your AC is 11.

Yeah, you're good to go. Oh, just kidding. Yep. Amazing. So none of that works. None of that works! So bad! Yes, the rope definitely flips around a lot. Definitely could have hit somebody,

but you just didn't gauge the sizes right. They're very small and he's very slippery. Kai, how tall are you? I'm like 5'9". Yeah, but he's so aloof, he's not even holding the rope yet, so he wasn't even near it. You tie him badly.

I look at Kym and I'm like, I'm about to space. It's hard to get the short people and the tall people at the same time. It's true. You grow a lot of different levels. What was that all about? What was that?

I was given to understand that you guys saved the world at one point. Yeah, yeah. But this is different. Fascinating. What? Admin, are you going to be pulling or? I'm going to be pulling with all my might,

and I'd like the help action from my familiar Archibald. Amazing. Roll to see your strength. This is a stupid potion. I feel so fatigued. Need electrolytes. This is awful. Ugh! I'm going to kill Caleb. Okay, that's a 21.

Amazing, great. Who's next? Skye, are you pulling or are you doing something else? I want to cast a spell. Yes, you do. Go ahead, wizard. Of course. Well, at lunch, we didn't get to eat like the people who did well,

but I did steal a pat of butter. And so I want to try my brand new grease spell to try to grease the rope. So that they fall off of it. That's great, I love it. First of all. You're not feeding the children here properly? I'm not in charge of the cafeteria.

You're just feeding them sticks of butter? Yeah. The feast was for the kids that got to move up the level. Yeah, it's pretty sad. Flip your coin to see if your wizard spell works. It does not! Okay. With your wizard spell,

you have prepared your components, you've prepared your incantation, you do the- Fancy finger thing. Yes, you do the motions and make the sounds in all the correct order, or at least you think so. One misguided word and a fat thumb just bending just the wrong way, makes the spell actually cast.

It does cast, it just casts on the wrong side of the rope. So all of you guys have a greasy rope now that is going to be very, very hard to hold on to. I'm so sorry, that'll be negative five to your pull. Ooh. Next up is Kai. What do you want to do? So I haven't even touched the rope yet.

You can, or you can go and menace Yasha, or do whatever you want to do. I'm not touching the rope yet. The Pool of Peace is really destroying. I'm feeling better about myself. I have a little disguise kit here. Yes, and in 30 seconds, what are you going to do with it? So while Beau was doing the little rope move,

I was counting on them being distracted enough at the failure of that move to put my little disguise kit on. It's a kit that's a bunch of makeup and different fake mustaches and little fake wig and stuff. So are you just putting, what are you putting on? All of it? I'm putting on all of it, yeah. Okay, so like a wig, fake mustache.

I have one mustache up here and then one mustache down here. Sure, sure, sure. The bottom one is typically called a beard. It's still facing upward. My upper mustache and my lower mustache. Okay, okay. And what is your intention with this get up?

I'm going to try to walk. So I'm on that side of the bridge, right? Yes, you have 30 feet of movement, I believe. Okay, 30 feet of movement. Now, I want to get behind them without being seen. So I'm going to... I want to use my whip to swing under the bridge

and land on the other side to get behind him. Okay. What in the Indiana Joneses? This is quite a move to try to do all in a few seconds. So you throw this wig and mustache on. Yeah, I throw it in the air and then I'm going to whip and then hopefully have all the disguises land on me.

Have all the disguises land on me. I don't know if the cameras can see, but on this side, the side that you're going to try on, there are a bunch of spikes. Ooh! So you're going to. Well, I'll try on the other side. All right. Where there are no spikes. That's fine.

You're going to try to swing across that way with your whip. Oh, it just goes, Yasha, are you seeing this? The light is kind of too mustache-ish. I'm going to have you roll to see if this works. So roll an acrobatics check. This is a very high DC.

Do we pretend like we don't see this? Acrobatics plus seven. That's really good. 18. Not good enough. Oh no! You do manage to do it. Everybody can see you.

This is very, very obvious. Yes! And because you whipped the whip right here, the way that it works is you swing down like a pendulum, but you don't quite make it all the way back up, so you're just swinging back and forth here at the bottom. You didn't quite make it back up to there. Watching Kai put his disguise on

and watching Skye cast Grease on our side of the rope, I go, did I misunderstand the objective? Did my disguise at least land on me as I did that move? You're wearing a wig and two mustaches. Okay, awesome. That's all I needed to know for now. And you guys both see this. I have a few questions,

but we're going to wait for after the pull of peace. All right. Jessup, you're up. What do you want to do? I am going to use Mage Hand. Okay. I'm going to, it's going to come out of my, I twist my monocle, and the hand comes out,

and it's going to go to Yasha and tickle you really, really hard. Yes! Oh! Are you feeling super stressed right now or did you calm down after the last event? I think also Padmin's little pep talk made me, I think I'm feeling other emotions.

So then I'm going to say that this spell works and Mage Hand is cast. Oh! But in order to find her tickly bits, that's going to take a little bit of effort. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Get it out of there! I'm going to say roll an insight check

to see if you can glean what part of Yasha's body is both ticklish and available to be tickled because she wears heavy leather armors. I think I got it. No! No! I got a two plus two. Okay, okay.

What part of Yasha's body are you trying to tickle? I was going for the tummy. Okay. The tum tum. And Yasha, why doesn't that work? My tummy is the only part of my body that is not ticklish because it is pure muscle. You know?

I just flex against it and it just bounces off the Mage Hand. So I'm going for the armpits! The Mage Hand doesn't have a personality or a body, but if it did, it would be like, whoa. Damn. When it touches this, it would be like, whoa. Damn. When it touches this, it's a nine pack. It's not even an eight pack.

It's an eight. There's an extra one. There's so many. There's an extra one in there. And it unfortunately has no effect. I really thought I had an understanding of human anatomy. She's an aasimar. That's the problem right there. That's great.

It makes a little serving platter. Yeah, you could lay out a sushi platter. The rope moves five feet this way. There's one more round of this to see if you guys can somehow get it back. Or if they're going to win, top of the round, Yasha. Yasha, what do you want to do? Are you pulling again?

I'm going to keep pulling. Great, do your thing. I'm really trying to get them off of their feet. This is not good for us guys. No, unless I roll bad. Not great. Oh wait, I'm going to keep pulling. Great, do your thing. I'm really trying to get them off of their feet. This is not good for us guys. No, unless I roll bad. Not great. Oh wait, I'm raging. Ooh.

Ooh, much better. That is... 21. Amazing. Damn. Great. Beau, what are you doing this time? Or do you want to wait until somebody else goes? Technically, Padménd is next to declare what he's doing. Okay. Okay, Padménd,

what are you doing? I'm going to look. I'm going to look around. The mage, I'm going to go, the tickling attack was blocked by the obliques! And I'm going to go, and I look at my compatriots, and I think Padménd's going to reach deep down inside

and is going to, for the first time in his life, cast a spell non-ritually. Actually burn a spell slot, which he's never done before. He has never used a spell slot. It's always been like, but what if I need to avail myself of that magic later? I'm doing it, Peter.

He is going to cast the Floating Disk spell. Okay. Which Floating Disk creates, it can hold up to 500 pounds of weight. And it is, according to the spell, immobile, unless I command it. And I would like to quickly tie our rope according to the spell, immobile unless I command it. I would like to quickly tie our rope

around the floating disc. Oh, what a cool idea. It's a three-foot-wide rope. Yes. Three-foot-wide rope. I'm sorry. Three-foot-wide disc. Yeah, of telekinetic energy. It's like an invisible Frisbee, basically. Yes, exactly. Okay.

You're going to try to tie your side of the rope around it. This is tie knotting skills. This is camp stuff. What knot are you going to use? I will look at it and I will go, remember rope tying class? I flash back to a rope tying class in which I was busily statting out playing cards,

listening to nothing that was said about tying knots. I go, great wizards of pods of the past, guide by webbed hands. I will make a non-proficiency rope check, but I want Archibald to help me. Sure. But I have no proficiency in this, so this is like. I can almost guarantee that your familiar frog also doesn't have proficiency in rope this, so this is like. I can almost guarantee that your familiar frog

also doesn't have proficiency in rope tying, but he will help. Great. You're going to try to attempt a double fisherman knot. Great. And let's say, either roll a history check to see if you remember from that class, or a survival check to see if you can glean this knowledge from your knowledge of Archibald. I'll do history to be like,

come on, certainly you Osmosed something from that class. Chattering instructor, bothering you in your card building time. Also, I'll do history with advantage from Archibald. Sure, yes. That's a 15 on the first roll. Very good already. And then 16 is my final move. Incredible, incredible.

Sure enough, the Double Fisherman's Knot goes around the floating disk. Do you, this floating disk, where is it? Do you have to move out of the way? I mean, it's a physical item, right? I'm going to create it right in front of me and tie the knot around it as quickly as I can. So like right here?

Yes. Okay. There is a floating disc right in front of you. Someone's just watching him tie it? It happens real fast. Yeah, I'm going to leap. I'll leap into, as I'm summoning it, I'm throwing the rope around it to grab it and tie it again. And you get across it by sort of like Dukes of Hazzard style sliding across the rope around it to grab it and tie it again. And you get across it by sort of like

Dukes of Hazzard style, sliding across the top of it. And leave a loop in Archibald's mouth so he's helping me. Sure. Awesome. We work so well together. Yeah, we sure do, bud. Life is great. It'll go on for a while, won't it?

You have to relax. You are brand new. Ex have to relax. You are brand new, existential crises. I just feel like this is fleeting somehow, and I want to cherish every moment, you know? Does the thing have to last forever to be beautiful? I mean, I'd like it to last for more than a day. Well, it's not promised. All right, the rope is set,

and it is taught. Marisha Bow, you're up. Okay. What am I going to do? Marisha Bow! You also don't have to follow the rules. I don't, I don't. And I'm a dope monk, and I do dope monk stuff.

Thank you for not cursing. You're welcome. So I am, with the rope being taught, I'm going to vault myself onto the top of the rope, and I'm going to walk across it, tightrope walk across it. Sure. Whoa. First, I'm going to get to Badmund.

I'm going to go, it's a very clever kid, and then I'm going to go boop, boop, boop, and bounce on top of all of their heads. I'm going to do a little monk parkour over all of their heads. Easy enough. Are you trying to inflict damage or are you, what are you?

I just want to throw them. Whoa, okay. I just want to throw them off. Distracting them. Yeah. Okay. Let's roll an intimidation check to see if they are intimidated by your feet on their faces. Not mine, though. I'm still hanging down there.

Yeah. You're hanging on a whip. Okay, yeah, it's pretty good. 16. 16, this is against people's, Jesus, I don't know how D&D works. Is this against something? You have to roll to see if you are intimidated.

Everybody roll a constitution saving throw. Even me? What would it be? Constitution saving throw? Typically, there's not a mechanism for intimidating or persuading your fellow PCs. I know, but this is happening! But a wisdom save or something along those lines

feels appropriate, wisdom or charisma. I will, yes, let's do wisdom. Do I need to be intimidated, too? I'm still hanging there. No, you're not affected by this because she's still hopping on your head. So the three of you roll a wisdom saving throw. It's a d20 and Brennan will point to where you add.

Wisdom's your saving throw plus three. Plus three, okay. Yes, the saving throws are right under your defense. Sky, you as well. I rolled a one. Okay. But I'm a halfling. Oh! So I have the luck. Oh! I hate it, I hate it! I hate it so much. Too bad!

Well, I got a five. Padmand and Jessop, what did you roll? I rolled a seven plus two. Not great. Three, yeah. Plus? A three for wisdom, right? Oh, three, yes. So 10. Okay, and what's the number we're trying to beat?

16. 16. My friend's so smart. Thank you so much. I fail monstrously. I rolled a three plus, seven. Someone you respect, someone you admire, someone many of you have heard stories about, sung in songs of bards and written in legends and myths,

is walking on your head now. And she's doing it in a real bitchy way. It does look, I can be very athletic and very light-footed here, but it's pretty rude. You're trying to put extra weight into your... Just a little, just a little bit. It's like someone booping you on the nose

and you're like... What kind of shoes does Beau wear? Yeah, is she barefoot? Not barefoot, but they're soft canvas with wraps, little wraps. And then I'm going to do my own little flip, get me back to the middle, and I'm just going to stand over the edge and look at Kai.

Just confused, I don't say anything. I'm just looking down at Kai. Just confused. I don't say anything. I'm just looking down at Kai. Yo, you okay? Do you need help? Are you stuck? I won't say anything back. I'm just going to keep looking for her. Your feet are like six inches off of the ground. All right.

I look up on that seven, wisdom save. I go, I forfeit. Oh. What? Wait, no. Pagma, no. No, no, please don't. We need you. Oh! This is trivial. You've actually been very good at all of this.

We're not a, we, what's? You've been doing such a good job. No, we failed. No! I can't hear what you guys are saying up there, but if you're thinking about quitting, don't do it. If she can walk on our heads, there's nothing she can't do.

Is there anything? We're being played with, like mice! Sky. We're being played with, like mice! It's your turn, if you'd like to keep trying. Keep trying, keep trying! Whatever you do, it's going to be at disadvantage because you are intimidated right now.

Is there anything I can do to inspire my friend not to do that? Sure, you can talk to him. You can give him a gift. You can do whatever you my friend not to give up? Sure, you can talk to him. You can give him a gift. You can do whatever you would like to do, what a friend would do to inspire someone else, a hug, anything. Wait, am I close to him?

You're, oh. Yeah, I'm right behind you. Yeah, you said you were on the disc, sort of tying it, so I'd say you're up here, actually. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to give him a hug. Okay. And I don't even care that he's poison.

No, my skin is toxic! All right, you give him a hug. Because I think you get poisoned. You can give him a constitution saving throw. Sky, I have a pretty good constitution. 16 plus. Ooh, okay. At disadvantage because you're intimidated by Beau. So I have to roll again.

Uh-huh. Okay. You'll make it, you'll make it. Eight plus three is 11. 12. Oh no! You can't even do math. As you hug me and begin to get poisoned,

what do you say? Oh no! I say it was all worth it. I heard everyone around me! I hope you guys are making progress up there. What was the mustache's plan? What? Come on, you guys, focus, focus! Working out as a team!

Are you going to let petty little distractions stop you in real life? That's Skye's turn. Come on! Kai, you're up. So how far away am I from the ground? As you can see on the map, you're just 10 feet down. It's not that bad.

Okay, so it's not that steep. Nope. Okay, hmm. I let go of the rope. You fall six inches to the ground. Okay. And I scream out, Oh!

Oh! Oh! Help! Help! I think I broke something. Ah! Ah! Help! Help me! Okay. I guess roll a deception check. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's a pretty good idea.

Okay, hold on. 12, deception, where is it? Plus six, that is 18. And then I guess you guys roll to see if it works. What did they roll, Brennan? With the poison? Was I supposed to be rolling at disadvantage? No, you're not still poisoned.

Got it, got it, got it. That was an earlier challenge. Oh, deception, insight. Insight, thank you. Insight, okay. Oh, natural one. Wow. I'm so sorry, I can't read this. Oh, it's a two and I have a minus one to Insight, so one.

You both got ones? Oh, okay! Oh shit! Oh, it's really bad, it's really bad. Oh shit! Oh my god! Both of you have never felt this before. You guys, you need to come down here right now, both of you, please! This is maternal instinct.

My boy! My boy! My boy! You both instantly need to help this young man. I broke him. I broke him. I broke him. We broke him. I dropped the rope. We're not ready for this. We're not ready. We're not ready. This is too stressful to have a child.

Where does it hurt? Where does it hurt? What is the possibility? You got to come down here and look at it. It hurts so bad. No, him. I drop the rope. We're not ready for this. We're not ready. This is too stressful to have a child. Where does it hurt? Where does it hurt? You got to come down here and look at it. It hurts so bad. No, I drop it right next to you. I drop it right next to you now. I'll drop the rope, put my hand on top of the post and leap over. Okay, that's the rest of your turn. The rope is free to move.

You guys can move it back all the way if you'd like. Actually, Jessa, you're last. So this is your roll. Oh, that's really stressful. This is really, really stressful. You need to wrap this up. Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm just going to go.

I feel it. You've got one point of stress on you. This is going to be so bad. What are you going to try to do to get this rope 10 feet your way? 15 feet your way. Well, I was going to go for a, I could do a just good old pull.

Yeah, sure. But I can't help but, my impulse to do something magic, so I, No, no, please. I think it has to be the way. It has to work this time. I'm really stressed, but it has to work this time. So what are you doing?

So I'm going for a sorcerer's burst to make them let go of it entirely. They've already let go. They've already let go. Completely free. You can just pull it back. Yes, you can pull it back. I think I'm going to pull the rope.

It is a heavy rope. It's a thick, thick rope, and you're a small. I'm very weak. But let's try it. Go ahead and roll. You are, she walked on your head, so this is a disadvantage. Just do a simple strength roll to see if you,

you, by yourself, can pull all of the rope across in time. And so that's rolling two of? Two d20s and take the lesser of the two. Okay. 16. Very good. Nine. Do you have any strength?

Wait, six or nine? What is that? Nine. Nine. Nine is better. Do I have any strength? I'm really very weak. I have zero. Okay. Luckily, literally no one is contesting this.

So sure enough, it's actually pretty hard. The hardest part of it isn't the strength part, it's the confusion. So much has gone on in the last few seconds. One of your friends has two mustaches on his face. Two of them, your opponents have dropped the rope and are going to save him when clearly he's faking. One of your friends just poisoned the other friend going to save him when clearly he's faking.

One of your friends just poisoned the other friend because he's having an existential crisis. No, that's just extra. My skin poisons you automatically. Unrelated. It's crazy, but yes, you managed to pull the rope, and yes, you managed to succeed. Luc calls out, Victory! You guys did it! You did it!

Are you okay? Sky, do you want to go to the nurse's office? Are you okay? Are you okay? You attacked him! You killed him! What happened to the other person? Shut up! I stand up, I take both of my mustache off,

and I go, works every time. Whenever it's necessary. you were faking, you don't really have to. Mustaches! Wait, that was you? That was the disguise. Yeah! It works every single time. Lower mustache is excited.

Okay. I take my bow staff and I knock it right behind your knees to knock you on your ass. And on your ass, you are knocked. No damage done, but you're on your keister for a moment. Just get over top of him. I made a huge mistake. I should've done our chant.

Oh, I thought about the chant. I should've done our chant for... What chant is this? Instead of a hug, we do this thing and it helps us to keep our focus. Do you want to tell the story? We were doing a race and we were really behind and both of us were getting really upset about it. I was starting to feel the anger

and she was getting the anxiety. Then we saw this zorbo and it was so cute, it just made us laugh and we came up with this chant. Should we do it? It was, did you? Yeah. It was so cute, it just made us laugh, and we came up with this chant. Should we do it? It was, did you? Yeah. It was, Sorbo one, Sorbo all,

let's all do the Sorbo call. It really calmed me down for some reason. Whoa. Yeah. So I'm sorry, I should've, that would've cheered you up, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it would've cheered you up, wouldn't it? Yeah. Well, I don't know. Yeah, it would have cheered me up. Archibald is on your shoulder,

and he looks up at you, just with confusion. Well, what is this feeling that you're feeling? I don't know, Archibald. I think I'm just sad. I know we just won the pull of peace, but for a second there, I thought that a camper I'd never met with two mustaches almost died.

And then I found out it was Kai, and I thought Kai almost died. But then I found out Kai was fibbing about that too, and I poisoned my friend, and I don't know. I don't know if any of you guys heard this, but Veth Veth called us losers. I don't know. I don't know if any of you guys heard this, but Veth called us losers, and I think she's right, at least about me.

No, no. Let him feel it. Let him feel it for a second. I also feel like a loser, but you did so many cool things. You cast so many spells. We were all wrapped around your fingers for 30 whole minutes while you did so many cool things. You cast so many spells. We were all wrapped around your fingers for 30 whole minutes while you cast a thousand spells.

You've been doing pretty good, I think. And I've never seen magic like that. There's so much that I want you to teach me. I've been inspired by what you've done. I don't think you're a loser. Well, I'm knocked out and my face is on the ground. I go, I think we just won two things. I think you're good, man.

Yeah, I guess so. Well, if we won, I guess that we can celebrate, but do we get lunch now or is there more activity? Veth, by the way, at the beginning of all this, she left to go take care of the other campers. Luc is still there. Luc approaches you with congratulations. You guys did really great.

It was an unorthodox tug of war, but you guys really did great. No, there's no lunch currently. There's one more activity that they wanted to run you through before awarding you a merit badge. You guys okay? Do you need a snack? I've got jerky.

I would love some jerky. All right. He pulls out four pieces of jerky, passes it around. I pull Yasha aside. Did you see that? Yeah, I did. They started to believe in themselves. They started to believe.

They started to work together as a team. I think it's working. I think it's working, and it actually inspired me so much. Me too. Maybe we can be good moms. I think we could. When you passed out those juice boxes, I forgot what they were called for a second.

There was, like, I was filled with love. Did you see it? Did you envision it? Yeah, I did. It was like we were on, we were going to watch our kids at sports, and you were passing in between, giving them food and sustenance. Wow, so I think the lesson is,

if you belittle and talk down to people, they eventually will rally to the occasion. I mean, I would have said it in a different way, but I agree. Oh, is that? Okay. No, I agree. I agree. No, maybe it's the wrong, yeah. They're all amazing. They were so good. I'm so proud of them.

If they're all orphans, why don't we just adopt all of them? They're not all orphans. They're not? Oh, that's right, because Padmend has parents. They all have families, except for maybe the weird shift in here. It's a mini guy.

But I kind of have a mini you. He's like a mini you. Yeah, he's like a mini me. It's what they say, where it's like you can mold them in your image. Maybe it is. This is kind of exciting. He's a mini Beau. Do you think I could just call him mini Beau? I think.

Do you think he'd respond well to that? Probably. Okay. We're standing right there listening to them. Yeah. With my jerk in my mouth, I'm like, no, don't call me that. Oh, I forget that we have our voices carry. Yeah.

Look, you all should feel good about what you did here today. It's not over, but you see what all just happened? If you think that the worst thing in your life is going to be me running on your heads or butter on a rope. Two mustaches. Or two mustaches and a failed,

I don't know what you were trying to do there at first. I thought I succeeded, actually. It was all according to plan. Or someone else calling you a loser? It's not the worst thing that's ever going to happen to you all. Maybe the worst thing that's happened today, but did it stop any of you?

It did for one or two years. Okay, well, you know what, Kai? Just lean into the inspirational speech I'm trying to make, okay? I'm sorry. You're doing great. Okay. You got each other. You got to believe in that and believe in yourselves. I turn to them and say,

I think we got this in the bag, guys. Great speech, Hansi-Bo. That was really nice. Thank you, Luc. There's one last activity today to see if you guys are capable of earning yourself a merit badge. Some of you seem like you're doing pretty good so far. We're going to play a game of hide and seek.

Ooh, my favorite. But Beau is pretty stealthy, so I think we're going to have Yasha go hide. It's just a little bit easier. No offense, Auntie. Oh man. No, no, no. I understand. I'm easier to find. Okay.

Yasha's going to go off into the camp and we're going to have until curfew to find her. She's going to hide anywhere. You guys can, this is going to be using your tracking skills to try to find her. And if you do, I think that'll be a third success and that'll be the badge. So, Auntie Yasha, you want to run off and hide?

Sure. All right. I'll be here to assist you, of course. Give you any guidance you might need. Encouragement. Use me, your elder, as a resource. As Yasha goes off. I wish you all the best of luck. Come find me. I love you.

I love you a lot. I'm about to smack her on the ass, but I pat her on the back instead. Smart, smart. The cleric counselor, Beth, hurries over to you guys. Hi, everybody. Hi.

Seems like a rough day. Are any of you hurt or injured in any way? I've been poisoned. Oh, all right, yes. Why don't you all gather near? She gathers you near and casts a series of spells over all of you. All of you feel instantly rejuvenated and find that all of your health has been restored,

if any of you lost any of it, and even your spell slots have been restored to full, as if you've taken a long rest. The poisoned condition is washed away. Beth wishes you luck. Well, I'm off to my afternoon meditation. Goodbye, everyone. Good luck. Oh god, I hate her.

Luc says goodbye to her. You look amazing today, Beth! Oh yes, thank you, Luc. You're a wonderful friend. And she walks off. Hamster. Luke sighs and turns to the four of you. All right, so we're going to count.

My mom asked us to count to 669. I don't know why. So we're going to count to 669 and then we're going to go find Yasha. So everybody start counting. As you guys start counting, Yasha, will you tell me where on the map you've gone to hide? Yes.

Do you want me to text you or just point you? Just tell me the number of the code on the map. You don't have to text me. You can say it out loud. They don't have the number. Seven. I see it. Okay. You guys have your maps, right?

Okay. As Yasha, as you're making your way to that area and finding a hiding spot. I'm just moving things around. Yeah, yeah, boxes, barrels, and stuff like that. You hear, you know, roll a perception check. 14. Okay. You hear a strange banging coming from one of the cabins,

then a hiss. It's strange because nobody is at the cabins right now. They're all off at this party, this celebration thing. So the cabins are meant to be empty. Okay. Are you going to keep going? Yes. Okay, great. As you walk by that cabin,

poof, a puff of gray smoke shoots out from a vent on the side of it. Roll a dexterity save, if you don't mind. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, that's not good. Nine. Okay.

You take... Oh, nothing. Two points of damage. Oh! But also, moreover, you go dizzy for a moment. This gray smoke has shot you on the side of the face, and it just makes you groggy for a moment. You have trouble focusing your eyes.

And just as you get your vision back, Yeza, Veth's husband, runs out of the cabin, adjusting a leather apron and removing safety goggles. Yasha, what are you doing here? Wait, did you leave Beau with those campers all by herself? She's going to kill them! No, no, she won't, because you made us drink that shit. Oh.

Oh, I swear, Jark. There's no kids around! You still have to pay me money. God damn it! No, you had us drinking it, and I can't even, I swear, Jark. There's no kids around! You still have to pay me money. God damn it! No, you had us drinking it, I can't, I feel. I take actual American dollars. All right, this is what we just have to do. So, no, you gave us that potion

that gave me a stomachache, for one. Oh, yeah. But also, I'm hiding. They're going to come find me. Oh, this is part of the thing. This is part of the thing. I understand. Wait, were you just standing out here right now? Yes, and some poof came out.

Oh, I'm so sorry about this. What was that? I'm in there working on some potions. I was brewing up a new elixir. This is called a Renibriation Elixir. It undoes the effects of drunkenness. Oh wow. It's to help Veth sober up more quickly, but it's not done. Renibriation?

Yeah, instead of inebriation, it's renebriation. So what does that mean? Okay. I don't make the names. It's fine. Anyway, I was using an ingredient that Caleb sent and so far it's been having the opposite effect. And sure enough, as he's saying this, you realize you do feel a little bit drunk right now.

You might feel a little bit drunk for the next hour or so. I feel a little funny. Yeah. All of your ability checks and saves will be at disadvantage for the next hour because you are drunk. Because you are drunk. Well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you.

I'm going to go back in and do more work, but don't you have to hide? Yes, I have to go hide. Okay, go hide, go hide. Goodbye. And find a hiding spot you do. Why don't you roll a stealth check to see how well you are hidden.

Oh boy. At disadvantage. Okay. Sorry, I have dice. So awful, Reed. Okay, that's a five. Okay, seven. Horrible. Horrible.

Great. Back with the kids Horrible. Horrible. Great. Back with the kids. I'm too big. Back with the kids, and sure enough, the Olga camp here is just getting to 667, 668, 669. You may start your search. I should be more capable. Well, whenever you guys want.

Go find Yasha. Counting to 669, I ritual cast Unseen Servant and then just count to 69. Okay, great. Great, great, great. You have an Unseen Servant. I'm ready. What would you like to do?

So where are we right now? Oh, right now, it's weirdly, it didn't get added to the map, but see where that flag is? Yes. You are in the woods behind that flag. Gotcha. Oh, I'm sorry, no, that's not true. See where the curfew creature tower is?

You're to the left off the map, about 300 yards to the left off the map. About 300 yards to the left off the map. You said I had disadvantage on saving them? Everything. Everything. You've been successfully nerfed. Great. All right, so you're in a wooded area. The training grounds is in a remote area

so that stray shots don't hurt people. But you're in a wooded area about 300 yards away from camp. There's paths and stuff that lead back to the campground. How would you like to find her? All right, guys. So obviously the best thing to do is for us to split up into teams of two. Okay, so Padmin, you go with me.

Archie Wood can join, too. And Jessup and Skye, you go with me. Archibald can join, too. And Jessup and Sky, why don't you guys go together? There's only one of me and there's four of you, so maybe try and stay with an eyeshot of me, please, so I don't get in trouble, supposed to be watching you. Sure. Kai? We'll do that.

Kai? We'll do that. Are we going to do that? We're going to do that. Okay, we'll do that. Kai. We'll do that. Are we going to do that? We're going to do that. Okay, we'll do that. We'll do that. Okay, and split up you do. Where do you want to, you all head back to the camp area because that's where Yasha is going to go.

Where does Team Kai and Padman want to head towards? Hmm. I'm leaning towards, so what's the difference between admin and council of cabins here? Admin is an office. Gotcha. And that's where all the documents and whatnot are stored?

Oh my god. Correct. Okay. I think we should go to the admin. You think, oh, right. Because Veth is the camp director and clearly Yasha would be most familiar with the admin and location is probably where whatever paperwork needed to decide to come on as an interim counselor.

Yeah, good thinking. So let's head there. Great, so let's head to admin. All right, you're just walking there. You see nothing as you go. I guess you want to roll a perception check just to see if you spot anything on the way. All right, and that's a 20 as well, right?

Yes, everything's 20. Archibald. 15. Yes. Keep an eye out. I will keep two of them out, sir. So I got a 15. That's going to be a 16. Whoa! Great. 15 and 16. You don't see any people.

That's not true. You do see Phyllis, the lunch lady, who's a centaur. She is walking around. You see where it says, like, Bard Tent? Bard Tent. She's walking around there with a bowl of slop, a bucket of slop that she's about to discard somewhere.

Mm. That looks yummy. That's it. That's all you see. Beau is going to immediately run to the top of the curfew creature tower and just perch, just so I can have a better vantage on where these kids are going. Okay. As you reach the top of the curfew creature tower,

you hear, Hello. Hi. Hi. You see before you a polar bear-sized blue and purple furry creature with glowing eyes and floppy ears. She is lounging.

She's brushing her hair with a giant platinum hairbrush, picking tiny specks out of her coat, her feathery tail draped over one side. How can I help you? Oh, you can't help me at all? You just keep doing you. If it's fine with you, I'm just going to be up here just so I can have a better, you know,

keep my eyes on these. This is my perch, I'm sorry. Okay, oh, so I can't stay here. This is the curfew creature tower, and I'm the curfew creature. I understand that, but there's a whole pitch of the roof here that you're not utilizing, so I thought I could maybe just sit here.

Oh, I can see enough from where I am. No, I know, but can I just also stay up here just for a minute? I can go find another roof. You want me to find another roof? I would. Okay. No, okay, it was good meeting you. I've heard a lot about you.

Have a good day. Do you eat children? No. What do you do when they, what happens if they're past curfew? What happens? Oh, if they they're past curfew? What happens? Oh, if they are out past curfew, they get punished.

Oh! Lordy. Okay. But no one's ever out past curfew. I can see why. Yeah, it's great preventative measures. Yes. Okay.

Do you get, I'm going to stop asking questions. You're not one of the students here, are you? No, no, I'm actually a camp counselor. Oh, a new counselor. What's your name? Beau Beauregard. I'm Mishi. Nice to meet you. Mishi. Nice to meet you. Mishi. Wow. What?

Is it rude if I ask, what are you? What's your deal? Yes. Can we see them from where we are right now? Yeah, the Curfew Creature Tower overlooks all of camp. So from all of camp, you can see,

and she always is looking. I just turned to do it. Can I see the kids? Yeah, roll a perception check. Yeah, they're pretty close. Still? It's pretty easy to see them. Yeah, 18. Yeah, you can totally see them.

They're near the Bard tent. So I'm trying to do one of these where I'm still trying to keep a look in the kids. I catch Kai's eye for a second and just go. Okay, yeah, if it's good, it's a good meeting. If you'd like to stay, you could pay. You know what? I have had to fork over a lot of cash into the swear jar.

What is the currency that you accept? Anything shiny, really. Anything shiny? Yes. Wow, well, I've got this short sword that I've had, I guess, for forever, and I don't know why. Do you want us to work? It's in your inventory? It is my inventory, yeah.

No, no, I prefer more shiny things like coins and baubles and jewelry. Yeah, if I give you like 50 silver, can I stay up here? Sure. Okay, here you go. Thank you. Wow, okay.

Is this like a side hustle for you? I'm not paid. You just enjoy doing it? I do. That's okay. I love watching. Does insurance know about you for liability purposes? For sure they do.

Okay. All right. I'm just going to get back to paying attention, if that's okay. All right. I'm just going to get back to paying attention, if that's okay. I'll just watch. Can you, are you watch me or watch them? Yes. Okay. All right. What are you two doing, Liebe and Eden? I'm a gang.

Well, she's giving me a shoulder ride, of course. Of course. That's what we do. I thought about maybe checking out the camp store, because I feel like Yasha's got good style. Maybe she wants to do a little shopping while she's hiding. I don't know, just a thought. Did you, with your abilities,

do you have a better idea? Well, I did have a thought. I do have a flying scroll, so my thought was perhaps if I fly, I keep you on my shoulder, as we do, and I, can I do that while we? Sure, yeah. And if we fly around,

Oh, wow. we can check out, we can cover so much more ground, and we can find her. Amazing. So you're going to use your Scroll of Flying. I would like to use my Scroll of Flying. Okay, you read the incantation on the Scroll of Flying and you cast Fly on yourself and your little friend.

And for the next minute, you can fly. The scroll disappears, though. It can't be used again. It disappears. I have her perched on. I actually, for the sake of flying, I have you on one shoulder. Cool. And a swirl of blue smoke swirls around us

and it lifts us up into the air and we fly and search. Okay, roll a perception check with advantage to see if you can find. Either both of you can roll one or, Liebe, you can roll two, it's up to you. Why don't we do it as teams, each? Okay. 11, eight.

Plus? Inception. Plus two. Plus two. Okay. 13. I'll say, because of your high perch tier, you can see,

Yasha, what are you wearing today? Camp counselor shirt? Camp counselor shirt, and then everything else is black, as usual. As usual, yeah. Still white, short hair. So it's like a leather bodysuit, but with an oversized t-shirt over it?

Yes. Cool. Yes, yes. You can see black leather legs, and it's over near where it says supplies on your map. She's hiding behind some boxes and barrels. You can see her. There she is. There she is. Behind the boxes and barrels.

I can't see it, but I trust you. Should we go over there? Can we? I think that's the objective, right? So we fly over there? Mm-hmm. And we... As So we fly over there and we... As you're flying over there, I'll cut back to Brennan, you and Alex.

I'll say that you've passed the bard tent. You're almost all the way to the admin building. Anything you want to do or try or be? I think we look up and see Beau and you two fly overhead, and I go, whoa, there goes Jessup and Skye. They are airborne. They've mastered levitation, incredible.

And I look over and say, well, I guess they've got the grounds covered. Should we check out and see if Yasha's hiding in the Abbot Building? I think we should. We definitely should go inside. Great, well, after you, Balfraer. You get to the front door of the Abbot Building.

The door is closed. Is it locked? If you go and check, the door is locked, yes. Okay. So are we still within eyeshot of the tower? The creature tower? The tower can see all, yes. The tower can see all, yeah. The tower can see everything,

even if I were to go in the back side of the building? You could go in the back side and you'd be hidden, yes. All right, so we're going to go to the back side of the building. All right. No. No. What are they doing over there? So before we go.

Are you in charge of them? Shit. We go to the back side of the building and I say to Patton, I think we should try and get in through one of the windows over there? Shit! We go to the backside of the building, and I say to Patton, I think we should try and get him through one of the windows over there. Think you can crack that open for us?

The windows on the Abbot Building? Yeah. You think Yasha? I mean, she's a sturdy lady. I don't know if she got it through a window. Well, you never know. They are the Mighty Nein. Do you never know? That's a great point. They are the Mighty Nein, after all. That's They are the Mighty Nein. That's a great point.

They are the Mighty Nein, after all. That's true, the Viti died. I wouldn't put it past him. Geek! I'm going to try to open a window. It's locked. Hmm. Perhaps.

I grab Archibald and I throw him through the window. My frog! Through the window. Through the window. Okay, it works. The glass breaks. How many hit points does Archibald have? I believe one.

Let me see, how many hit points does this bad boy have? Probably has frog or toad stats. I think likely has a single hit point. Yeah, there's no way. I'm looking. Oh no. A frog has one hit point. As the frog flies through the window,

Archie. He thinks, you know what? Maybe life isn't meant to go on forever. Maybe Padmé was right. Maybe life isn't meant to go on forever. Maybe Padme was right. It was fleeting and short, but I got to experience love, fear, confusion. A lot of confusion. I got to see fights.

I got to witness love and motherhood. I think it was worth it. And the Shattering Glass ends his existence. He immediately vanishes. That's what I know. Archibald! I look over to Hymen and I go, I'm so sorry, I did not know that was,

I did not know he was going to do that. He's a tiny little frog guy. He's just a little guy. Nobody's helping him out. And now he's dead! Until I summon him back, where he will be completely reconstituted and fine. Well, you heard the little speech he made, right?

Yeah. That was beautiful. I guess so. Well, fine. I'll summon him back again in a second, but you got to be careful, okay? He's just a little guy. He doesn't have to cut out for all this adventure and stuff. I know, I know, I'm sorry, but look,

the window is now accessible. All right, and I'm going to clamber, I'm going to hop up and jump through the window and extend a hand to. Great. Me, she. Yes. Me, she. As. Me, she. As you do, yes.

Did you hear screaming? Did you hear that? I did. It did not sound good. No, I'm going to scurry down and start going over. Have a good day. Be sure to be home by curfew. As we get through the window, I'll look and say, I'm sure that that glass breaking made a sound,

but nothing that a little magic can't mend. I'll cast Mending on the window. Nicely done, sure enough. The glass is repaired as if it never was broken. Incredible. You didn't have a spell to break the window, but you had one to mend it? Yeah, because fixing things is a lot more helpful

than breaking them, Kai. Because I don't want to be an adventurer. I want to be a helpful guy in my community. I want to live a normal life. I want to make a card game. I want to make a card game! A card game is pretty cool. I will give you that one.

I disagree with some of the priors of this camp! While you guys are having this intense conversation, Sky and Jessup, you are nearing Yasha. You sit down on the ground and start walking over her and you could just go up and tag her. But as you walk up, you're about 20 feet away, you hear the strangest sound, a muffled echoing across the camp that sounds like,

gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, it's growing louder and louder and louder. Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. Then a truly bizarre sight. A massive pig, 14 feet tall, with wings and four rows of teeth, soars into the campground. It lands with a thud,

making this giant rhythmic grunting noise that sounds like it's saying, Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. I'll give you a little hint of what it looks like. Not a hint, this is what it looks like. This is the flying pig. Oh! That's so many legs. Unbelievable.

Yes. You'll notice that it has cat feet and chicken feet. Whoa. Whoa! Is that a human in its grasp? Does it breathe? It does look like there's a human in its grasp? What is it? Does it breathe? It does look like there's a human in its grasp, and that is dark foreshadowing, for it lands on top of Yasha

and grabs her with its talons. Ah! I've just been sitting there sketching all of the kids in my notebook. As it grabs Yasha, Yasha, why don't you roll a dexterity save to see if you can resist its mighty claw? No!

Oh no! Disadvantage. Disadvantage, oh no, I don't know if that could get worse. I mean, I can. Okay, it's cocked. It's still cocked, but that way the other one was bad. You said dexterity? Uh-huh.

Four. Cool. It for sure got you in its grasp and it grabs you and shoves you in its mouth. Wait, can I try to fight it in any way? You just did. I mean, I guess I just did. You just did. Shoot! You're in there. You'll get a turn I try to fight it in any way? You just did. I mean, I guess I just did. You just did. Shoot! You're in there.

You'll get a turn to try to get out soon. But right now, Yasha is in its mouth. It turns to the two of you and snarls, Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. Oh no! What do you want to do? Joseph! Sky! Where are you right now?

I'm running through the camp, looking for the kids. Like, are you going roof to roof, or what are you? I've come off of the roof of the creature, and I'm around the bard tent in the arena. Okay, okay, great. So you're near them. Am I? I don't know. Okay. If you're near the bard tent

and the arena, you're about 50 feet away from them. Yeah. Okay. You can hear the gub-gubbing going on as well. Are we still flying? You've set down, but you can take off again if you'd like. Okay. I think we got to get help. I don't trust myself.

I think we got to fly. I don't trust myself. But time is of the essence, isn't it? If we run off and get help, then it may, will this thing fly off? I don't know. I don't know. Kids!

Kids! Okay. Do we hear? At this point, Beau has found you. She knew where you were, so she's running up to you, full sprint, and she has arrived. Do I see the pig which you can feed? As you round the corner to get to them, you turn and see a gigantic 14-foot flying pig

right in front of you. Gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub. What is with this cab? Gub, gub, gub, gub. Get back, get back! I'm going to run up a train and get by myself between the kids and the thing. Okay, you also,

I don't think that you know that Yasha is in there. Okay. Yet. Unless you're going to run up a train and get by myself between the kids and the thing. Okay, you also, I don't think that you know that Yasha is in there. Okay. Yet. Unless you're going to tell her. But yes, you get between yourself and GubGub the Flying Pig. GubGub, GubGub, GubGub. And it sends a long tongue out to try to grab you as well.

If you're within 15 feet of it. Yeah, I'm running towards it. Roll an attack. Terrible, it only rolled an eight. Okay, I sidestep really quick and do a barrel roll and get closer to it. The tongue lashes out, hits nothing but dirt and retracts.

It's your go. Any of you guys, if you want to go? I got to make a try for it. I want to cast my Tasha's Hideous Laughter. Great, do it. You cast a flip a coin to see if your spell even works. Please, please, please. It works!

Okay, you cast a spell. You use all the right components, your fingers expertly guiding around to make the somatic movements needed to cast the spell. Includes a tiny cake! That's right, tiny tarts and a feather. You wave it in the air and cast this spell. Creature of the Fury of Christy, sleep within range. Okay, great.

Go ahead. How do you make it laugh? What are you trying to, how are you going to make it laugh? I ask my friend to throw me so that I can take the feather that I use for the... Oh no, no, I've already used the feather. I ask my friend to throw me and I just try to do a big like Okay, great.

Right in its face. I love it, I love it. Your spellcasting DC, Okay, great. Right in its face. I love it, I love it. Your spellcasting DC, oh, it only has to roll a nine to beat you. Natural 20. So it's hilarious what you're doing, but this creature, for whatever reason,

doesn't get the same, it's not the same comedy. It's into different humor. Yeah, it's more slapsticky, I think. I think it's more into humor. You know, David Sedaris. Yes, it reads The New Yorker. Yeah, reads The New Yorker. It reads a punchline.

Yeah, 100%. I'm sorry, it doesn't work. I don't get why it's not working. You're hilarious! Thank you! It's going to lash out at the nearest creature to it again, which is Beau again. It's going to roll to see if it hits you.

This is much better. This is a 16 to hit. Still miss. Whoa, you're so fucking cool! Oh no, I cursed. Okay, that's another miss. This time, the tongue hits you, but you shrug it off like it's nothing.

Go! Go find the boys! Go get help! I'm going to try and come down with my bow staff and just do a little slap to it. Roll to hit. Roll an attack. Yep, 21. Definitely hits. Roll for damage. Okay, okay.

What is my damage when I'm so weak? I don't know. Where does I need my d4s? Here we go. Ooh, five bludgeoning damage. Great. No, wait. I said my bo staff, that was a d8. I'm supposed to have a big d8.

That's much better. 10 bludgeoning damage. Amazing. It draws back in pain. Ah! And as it howls in pain, you can see in its mouth, Yasha. Hello? What are you doing in there?

I don't know, I was just drawing and then it ate me. Did you choose to hide inside a pig? No! That's a good idea, but I did not. We're, we got to talk. Oh! No! Go, go!

You're still in there. You can roll to see if you can get out. Roll a strength check with disadvantage. Everything's at disadvantage. Okay. 12. Nope. It has you firmly in its, there's no damage or anything,

it's just got you in there. You're behind two of its molars. Do pigs have molars? Sure they do. This pig has chicken feet, bud! Yeah, right? Can't have anything. What are you doing, Liebe? Are you running off? Are you getting help?

What are you doing? I think I'm going to, I'm really nervous, but I think I could use my Sorcerer's Burst. But I'm really starting to panic. Okay. But I really, I care about you. I've only known you for a second, but I care about you.

I think you probably are at two stress at this point. Go ahead and cast your Sorcerer's Burst. Oh, no. But first roll a d6 to see if it even works. You got this. A five, it works. That works, it works. Sorcerer's Burst comes out. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. All right, roll it to see if you hit. Roll a d20 and add. I works, it works. Sorcerer's Burst comes out.

Roll to see if you hit. Roll a d20 and add. I will look it up for you. Ooh. A 17. That definitely hits. Roll for damage. This is a 1d8 of damage.

OTA, which one is that? That's you, that guy right there. I was going to be like, 19. Two. You fight through the anxiety and the stress of it, knowing that your new friend is in danger. Seeing the failure of your bestie over there, Sky, you blast true, a sorceress bursts

right at the pig's schnoz, and it howls in anger. I'll see if it releases Yasha. It does not. I just turn around, though, and go, did you just, did you do that? I did. Fuck yeah, you did it! No! I swear to god.

As you're distracted, it's going to try another attack on you. This one's even better! 18 plus something. 18 hits. Okay, it gets you and it sucks you in. No! Next to Yasha, what would you guys like to do? We should get our friends, I think. We've been running toward the guys, screaming.

You don't know where they are, I don't think. Well, we've been running through the camp. I'm yelling. Screaming. Padme and Kai! Padme! Kai! Padme! Kai! Okay, so you're just calling out. You guys, let's see. Roll a perception check. You're indoors. I don't know if you can hear.

There's also, when Jessa made the... Nine. Okay. When she did the sword first. Six. I wanted to make sure that I saw it through the mouth just a little bit. She did it. Yeah. Okay. Six. She did it, yeah. Okay. Six.

Six and a nine. Wait, how high in the sky is this pig? Pig's 14 feet high. 14 feet high. 14 feet high. Okay. Yeah, well, I have an eight. Yeah, you guys are inside. You don't really hear anything.

It's muffled. So I think to get the most research for your cards, we need to look around in the admin's office and see if we can find any interesting little documents. Does that sound cool? Did I misunderstand the objective of the current activity?

I mean, I think they got it. You see them, they've been doing magic all day. I think they're going to find her super fast. you see them, they've been doing magic all day. I think they're gonna find her super fast. Okay, well, they have been doing magic all day, but also I've watched Jessop have several panic attacks and I wanna make sure that we're good friends, but yeah, I guess we can simultaneously look for Yasha

and accumulate documents to help with the card game? Yeah. You know? If you burn in the hand, you kill a bird with as many stones as you have. My dad always said that. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, I'll make an investigation check.

Okay, go ahead and roll for investigation. What are you specifically looking for? I'm looking for Yasha with a side effect of documents. So I'm looking for Yasha and documents. Great, great. So you're poring over this. It's a sort of cluttered administration office. There's file cabinets, there's a desk.

It's an 18. Yeah, I mean, you find files on various campers, receipts for tuition, you find some class plans. Do I find any files on various campers, receipts for tuition. You find some class plans. Do I find any files on us? Oh, I mean, there's a camper file, and if you wanted to search for your name specifically, you sure could. Yeah, I'll look through it.

Okay, so as you're doing that, we're going to cut back to the other people. Overcome with fear and panic. I think I can cast Jump on you, and then you can jump up onto this horrific pig-like creature and maybe do an attack on them. I'm down to try that, but my arms are like noodles. Before you attempt this,

GovGov, it's gov gov's go, and gov gov is going to release a belch of fiery smoke that spreads out about 30 feet around it. Both of you, I think you need to make a constitution saving throw to see if this affects you. Ooh. Salmon. Is that a nine or a eight? That is a nine. throw to see if this affects you. Ooh. Seven.

Is that a nine or a eight? That is a nine. You can use the little dot as the bottom. Nine plus. Plus constitution. And which one is? Constitution save is plus four. Plus four. I've got a 10.

So 13. I've got a 10 total. Okay. It affects both of you. This smoke, as it envelops you, you are overcome with a sense of depression. Oh no. What the hell kind of game is this? What an interesting creature.

You have an overwhelming sense of crippling depression. I suddenly don't see a point in any of this, and also my asthma is... Yes. Yeah, I used to live in that. I've never felt so homesick before. You are both frozen in place for one round, and during that one round,

Gub-Gub, the flying pig, is going to try to take to the air, but with the added weight, it can't quite lift off. Instead, it stomps away deeper into the campgrounds, leaving this thick cloud of smoke behind it, obscuring your vision. As it goes away, you can hear, Gub-gub, gub-gub-gub, gub-gub-gub, gub-gub-gub.

From inside the pig. Are you drunk? Yeah, I am. I did it, and. From inside the pig. Are you drunk? Yeah. I did it, and it was not on purpose. I did not take a detour. It's just, I was walking by Yeza's cabin and there was a poof of smoke and it happened. We're in a pig now.

Getting carried away. They were starting to believe I could see it through the mouth of this beast. I feel so weak. I do, too. We were bested by a pig with cat legs and chinked feet. What have we become? Maybe we don't deserve to be parents.

Maybe we shouldn't be parents. Where are we even going? I don't know. Why are we not even trying to get out? I don't know. The kids took it out trying to get out? I don't know. The kids took it out of me. Oh no, you were crying. I feel so defeated.

I do, too, and I feel a little depressed as well. I feel depressed, too. Beau and Yasha feeling depressed. Skye and Jessa feeling depressed. Padmin and Kai have found their file folders. This is awesome, dude! Good fight! But the things that they say about you are not good.

Oh no, I'm depressed. We'll get into that next time. For now, GubGub has taken away your two junior counselors and is somewhere loose in the camp. It will be up to four outcasts, four oddballs. Some might say losers, but maybe not. Only the camp director. The only things that are uniting you

are your love for this camp and your desire to prove your worth. But I don't know if you have what it takes to do this. I hope that you do, but we'll find out next time. Will you be kicked out of the camp or will you wild out instead? We'll find out on the next episode of Wildemount Wildlings. Until then, thanks for joining us tonight.

I've been Sam Riegel. Special thanks to Toph Mazury for art, Tal Levestas for his piano, Sabrina for the friendship bracelets, Kyle Shire for his amazing producing, and the amazing kids, you don't know about them, but the audience does, the kids who helped come up with this monster. Yes!

Maximus, Kestrel, Alan, Penny, Marlow, Greta, and Ronan. Ronan for the amazing art of GubGub the Flying Pig. I hope you all wild out. And until next time, is it Thursday yet? Good night. If you like the adventure you've been on so far, consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice. We're always looking for new campers to invite to Camp Wildemount, and your review may just be the ticket to bring in a new batch of wayward would-be adventurers. Thanks for checking

back in on this adventure, and we'll see you soon this upcoming Thursday as we get ready for the next episode of Wildemount Wildlings. See you next time!