Critical Role - Wilde Out | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 3 Part 2

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Part 2 of Episode 3 Chaos reigns at camp! The OLGAs must summon their bravery as the danger heats up in their search for counselors Beau and Yasha! CAPTION STATUS: CAPTIONED BY OUR EDITORS. The closed captions featured on this episode have been curated by our CR editors. For more information on the captioning process, check out: https://critrole.com/cr-transcript-closed-captions-update BEACONWe’re excited to bring you even MORE with a Beacon membership! Start your 7-day free trial today at https://beacon.tv/join and get unparalleled access to the shows you love completely ad-free! You’ll receive NEW Beacon exclusive series, instant access to VODs & podcasts, live event pre-sales, merch discounts, & a private Discord. YOUTUBE MEMBERS / TWITCH SUBSCRIBERSTwitch Subscribers and YouTube Members gain instant access to VODs of our shows, moderated live chats, and custom emojis & badges:https://www.youtube.com/criticalrole/joinhttps://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole   Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode.Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResources 

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Think of it as our digital Critical Role land. Head on over to beacon.tv to check it out for yourself and start a seven-day free trial. Thank you so, so much for your support, for being a podcast listener, and for being a part of our community. Hey there, critters. We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Exandria, The Re-Slayer's Take.

In this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Isilra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures. Here, the Slayer's Take is the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and re-slay these supernatural threats as the Re-Slayer's Take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria

battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast

including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux, and Jasmine Shion. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts, or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early of Wildemount Wildlings. So if you haven't checked out part one yet, pause this now and head over there first. In this three-episode miniseries, we're following the antics of four angsty teen campers

and their legendary counselors Beauregard Lionette and Yasha Nye Doran as an unexpected turn of events flings this unlikely band of adventurers into a quest of a lifetime. New episodes of Wildemount Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Pacific on Beacon, Twitch, and YouTube, with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following Mondays at noon. If you want instant access to podcast content and an ad-free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6 p.m. Pacific on Thursdays. Plus, you can also check out our Beacon-exclusive show Critical Role Cooldown and experience the cast's post-show reactions

to each episode. Now let's wild out and jump into the much-anticipated second half of this episode. Sam, hold your horses! The listeners need their part one recap. The Olga Cabin Kids explore an underground hallway that leads to both Dark World and a waiting room, beyond which leads them to a colossal cooktop where they reunite with Bo and Yasha and are confronted by the powerful puns of Walk, Walk the Pan Man.

Okay. Where'd my pen go? How does Matt do this? So bad. It's a nat 20! Yay! Cocked. Okay, anybody 20 to 25? Yes.

Oh, what'd you get? Nat 20. Oh, you got a nat 20. Okay, anybody 20 to 25? Yes. Oh, what'd you get? Nat 20. Oh, you got a nat 20. Okay, great. But Jessup first. Anyone 15 to 20? I got a 16. Great, anybody 10 to 15?

10. Oh! But you're much more dexterous than I am. Unless you want to roll these? Sure. Roll these. Oh jeez. Oh! I'm getting them out of the way now. Okay, 17.

One. Okay, well that's good. You got it out of the way. You got it out of the way. So Jessup, Kai, Yasha? Yasha, Beau, and then who's five to 10? I have an eight. Okay.

That's Skye, Skullcrusher. And is that everybody? No, Padménd, where are you? I am at an eight. Eight initiative. Okay, so you're at the end. We have the same. You do.

You could either roll these to see who does it, then just roll a d20 and see who gets the higher number. Seven again. Mm-hmm. I like how you say that like that's a normal thing. Like everyone knows what roll ease is. Is that a double tie? Double tie. Do you want to go the exact same time?

The dice want us to go simultaneously. Great. You guys get, every turn you guys get to figure out which one goes first, all right? We worked together. All right. Yes, so this creature, I believe, Jess, if you get to go first.

So what would you like to do? You do notice that the ground is very, very, very hot. Can I use one of these things that I've gotten from my, these magic things that you handed me? Potions. You can use whatever you want. I will also say, because he's been cooking for a while, that this pink post-it note,

that is the remains of Gub-Gub the Flying King. Oh, Gub-Gub. Tough. You know, I didn't like him very much, but this seems like a rough death. Yes, and you can see that at the center of each of these griddles is a very hot center, but it does look like these iron bars seem to be held up and away from the heat,

and so they're slightly less hot than this center. Assuming he's heat-resistant. You never know. Jessup, yes, you can use whatever you would like to use. from the heat, and so they're slightly less hot than the vent. Assuming he's heat resistant. You never know. Jessup, yes, you can use whatever you would like to use. Would this be an action or a bonus action? It would be an action to use a potion or, depending on what it is.

If it's just a healing thing, I'll let you take that as a bonus. I think I'm going to use my Mirror of Guilt. Okay. So a hand mirror with a finely crafted wooden handle, the glass is shattered, it causes whoever looks into it to be paralyzed with guilt for two rounds. Okay.

Can I paralyze him with my hand mirror? You can certainly try. So you're going to shine this mirror. It's a small hand mirror, right? And you're going to show it at him and see if it works. You're pretty far away. I would say let's roll to see if it works. Roll an insight check, just to see if you can

aim it properly to get him right in the eyes. 13 plus 15. Okay, great. You do shine it at his face 15 plus 15. Okay, great. You do shine it at his face, and it seems, you don't really know if it works, because you don't know this gentleman very well, but you do see a glint shining in his eyes, and he seems to recoil from it.

You're not sure if it's worked yet or not, but it did something. Would you like to move or do any bonus actions? I think I'll stay there and let him be with his guilt. Okay, great. Be with his guilt. As you stay put, you're the tall one, as you stay put, you get this,

you know what, roll a Investigation check. 14. Okay, great. You do get the sense that if you stay put here, this is a very hot cooktop. If you stay put, it's going to start to kind of hurt your feet pretty soon. So you may want to move from this area. Okay.

I think I'll get close to it and go, or as close as I can. You can move 30 feet, I believe. One, two, three, four, five, six. So you can get to about here, unless you'd like to go anywhere else. Where are you trying to get to? I think I'll go there and just look at him and go,

Do you feel bad about the things you've done in your life? Okay. He regards you very curiously and just confused at this point. Nothing registers yet, but that's a great move. Next up is Kai. What are you doing? I put my disguise kit on.

All right. That's the time. Good, he won't recognize you, the person he's meeting for the first time right now. My two mustaches hang above and below my lip. Great. Go ahead and, what effect are you trying to do? Just to look slightly different?

I call out to him, Hello, sir, I'm the kitchen inspector. Oh, okay. Nice! Okay. Yeah, it's not that other guy you didn't have context for. It's a new other stranger. Sure.

He's the kitchen inspector. Great. Did you get it? Roll a deception check. Oh. Whoa! Okay, hold on, hold on. Big numbers? He wants to get lucky, so. 25.

Whoa! As much as Kai is Padman's best friend, Padman is shaking his head, going, We should reward this. We should reward this baby. Where is this? He wants to pass the inspection. Is this this guy? Yes, it's this guy.

I think it's really smart. Thank you, thank you. Oh. That's a very good roll and a very convincing disguise. Unfortunately, your words seem to be disregarded by this entity. It shakes off what you're saying and says, Oh, a health inspector, eh?

Well, pretty soon you're going to be toast. Whoa! He has no regard for the committee. Oh, he's a little funny. This is a very bad person. Would you like to move or do any other bonus actions? I'm going to throw my dagger right at him. That's an action, and I think you'd use your action to disguise yourself and try to convince him

that you are a double-mustached health inspector. So for my move, I'm also going to get right up next to Jess up there. Okay, great, so you're going to move up to, right next to her? Mm-hmm. Okay, great. Awesome. Next up, Walk-hmm. Okay, great. Awesome. Next up, Walk-Walk the Pan Man.

Walk-Walk. Walk-Walk the Pan Man. I didn't name these guys. Walk-Walk's a great name. It is a great name. Look at that. Walk-Walk. Walk-Walk. Yeah, it's brilliant. Okay, Walk-Walk the Pan Man is going to move.

He is going to move. He is going to disappear from here and reappear right over here. As if he teleported. He can flame hop? Yes. He goes to attack the two of you with his spatula. We just died. He rears back to attack, and just as he does,

seeing Jessop below and the mirror in her hand, he stops himself and says, I... This just feels wrong. What am I doing? What am I doing? And he loses his attack. He's I doing? And he loses his attack.

He's overcome with guilt and he loses his round. Whoa! Nice! The Mirror of Guilt seems to have done something to him. Yasha, you are up with Beau on deck. Oh my goodness. Okay. Oh, you're still alive! You're still alive!

Yes! Thank the gods. You're okay! Yeah. Is it necessary for us to stay in this room? Does anyone have an actual gripe with this pan man, or could we leave as quickly as possible? This pan man seems so familiar to me. What?

I don't know why. Oh, no! We have so much to unpack after this! Ugh! Ugh! Okay, if you want to leave, you can, I guess? But if you stay and you help us fight this, you all get your merit badges! Yes, yes, that's what I meant.

Just don't die, okay? I can't deal with the liability. What's another death, right? I do not feel the same way about this as you! You've already died? I saw Archibald and he said, "'What's up, man?' From the other side?

Yes, from the other side. Oh, Archibald. We had a very uncomfortable conversation where I had to apologize to him for tossing him through the window. But I think he forgives me for it. I don't know. I don't know how worth it it is to stay in here. These badges are cool, but how much are they ultimately worth?

No, we have to leave camp if we don't win one. It's important. Do we love camp that much? Oh god. I do. I'm going to rage. Great. Yes! I'm going to rage, and I'm going to make my way over to Wapok.

All right, what's your movement? And my movement, it's 30. Because you're level three, right? Yeah! One, two, three, four, five, six. Are you right there? Are you up on the iron?

I'm going to go up on the iron. Okay. I'm going to, well but I can't attack you. No, you can't quite get up to it, but you're close. I will just. You can dash. Yeah, but then I still can't attack you.

True. That's all right, I'll get up on it. I'm going to be a distraction, so I'm going to get up on it. So you're going to make your way all the way. All the way. Okay. Hey, hey, over here! He's get up on it. So you're going to make your way all the way. All the way. Okay. Hey, hey, over here! He's looking down at you.

Handman! Yep, yep, yep. He's looking down at you, sure. And that's your turn. That's my turn. Okay, great. Great. Close, you're close. Beau, you're up. Okay, I just, as we both charge in simultaneously, I say, out of the freezer and onto the fireplace.

Nice. Yeah! Am I right, babe? Yeah, babe. That was good. I like all these puns. Thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. I'm going to Step of the Wind

to get me the rest of the way. I will flank a bit. Dungeon Master. Yes? What's the over-under of me parkouring up this pan? You can certainly try. I can certainly try. Pancor!

Pancor, okay. Pancor. Acrobatics. Acrobatics, sure. Do you have little putty? 17. I was looking for it back here, but I can't, I don't know where Matt keeps the putty.

The putty? He normally sticks it on the back of the screens. Is it like stuck? Little dots on the screen over there? Oh, ew. It's like little chewed up pieces of gum. Yeah. Yeah, thank you.

Okay. Does 17 work? Oh, for sure, yes. You Pancor up, yes, like an iron woman, and you. Okay. Does 17 work? Oh, for sure, yes. You Pancor up, yes, like an iron woman, and you are up. Oh god! Oh shit! How does Matthew do this? I didn't see that.

I didn't see anything. Okay, come up here. Swear jar. Oh shit! Shit! Okay, you're up on top of the pan, man. What would you like to do up there? Is that your action or is that?

That was my bonus action, the Step of the Wind. Jeez Louise, she's so powerful. Oh, and that's right, and my jump distance is doubled. So yeah, I'm up there, no probs. And I'm going to pull out my bo staff. I'm going to spin it around and just start whacking the pan. Pop pop. Pop pop. All right, roll to attack.

Okay, this is just, I just have one attack because I'm weak! Okay. Good, that's going to be 19 to hit. That definitely hits. Great. Where's my d8s? The heat guns are back. Where's my d8s?

Damn it, there we go. okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, fine. That is perfectly fine. Seven damage. Amazing. You watch as your former instructor, Beau, is up on top of this iron pan creature, just whacking it with a stick.

Whacking it with a stick? Even though it's made out of pure iron, it seems to be taking some dents. This is doing some good damage. Well done, Beau. Is that your turn? That's my turn. Just sounds like a Blue Man Group performance.

She looks awesome doing it. Her muscles glistening in the hot, hot heat. Up next is Skye or Padménd. You guys decide. Can we work together? I'm going to look at Skye, and I'm trembling with my staff here. I've cast all my spells.

We're out of potions. And I'm just going to look, and I'm going to say, we should try to get out. Merit badge? You're crazy. We're already in the Olga cabin. So what if we get a merit badge? We're always going to be the kids

who had to be in the loser cabin. Oops, let's go again. Oops. Let's go again It means we get a second chance We can't give up now if we give up now then we're losers for life but if we can Can beat this this hideous thing somehow together then maybe Maybe we might not be full heroes, but we could be half a hero?

I'm going to look at Kai and Jessa. Do you guys believe? I want to insight check you to be like, is it worth it to be half a hero? I think Padménd is is, I look at you like... You... I've never belonged anywhere, but I feel like I belong with you, the four of you.

And I don't know you very well, but even you, I... Think about this, Padmin. All I've wanted... Think about this, Padmin. All I've wanted... Think about this. Think about this. Splash art. Cover box. Four small heroes standing on top of frying pan,

sick as hell fire in the background, glistening sweat off your muscles and your mucousy surface. I have another argument. He's not giving up. You can either stay and then you might save your artist, or then what are you going to do? You can't make your cards without him. Wow.

A beautiful and stirring motivational speech. Followed immediately by an extremely pragmatic exhortation to protect my investment in my long-running card game project. That's how we do it, baby. You're finally talking sense, Skye! Let's take it to this pad! That's how we do it.

And I will go ahead and I think, if we're going on the same initiative, I'll use my action to give the help action to you on whatever you, I'm out of spells. So I want to give the help action to you on whatever you want I'm out of spells, so I want to give the help action to you on whatever you want to attempt to do. I want to cast Grease again! Oh no!

That's great. I want to send Grease right into the center underneath him to create some kind of a fiery inferno that might singe him. Incredible. Incredible idea. Especially on his handle that looks vulnerable. Flip that coin to see if you can wizard enough. It's him! Yay!

You got so lucky with those. You cast Grease. What's the range on Grease? It is, oh god, I should have looked before. It's okay. 60 feet? That's amazing. So from where you're standing, you can absolutely cast Grease.

And just under Wok Wok the Pan Man, there is an open flame that you're targeting, right? It instantly starts a grease fire that shoots up a fireball that definitely hits Yasha. Yasha, wow! But let's say, let's roll for dexterity

to see if you can avoid some of the damage and Pan Man will do the same. This is fully turning into a public service announcement about kitchen safety. I have advantage on dex saves against effects, I can see. Okay, great. So go ahead and roll. Okay. Should I have advantage? Yes.

DM? Yes. Oh, that's good. What does this say? What's my dex? This is, it just happens. 19. Whoa. Okay, great. So, yes. I'll say that the grease fire goes all the way up the pan,

including hitting you, so go ahead and roll. Okay, a dex save, you said? Mm-hmm. Okay. 12. That's not enough. Okay. But, Eden, can you roll 3d6 and tell me what you get?

This'll be the damage. Oh wow. 10 damage. 10 damage, so because you succeeded, you take five fire damage. You'll take the full 10. Okay. So because you succeeded, you take five fire damage. You'll take the full 10. 10, okay. And the Pan Man is, as you might expect,

pretty resistant to heat. But still does take some damage. It doesn't seem to bother him so much. In fact, he does that thing like, ooh! And he says to you, oh, you're stirring up trouble now. Oh. We got to kill this guy.

I agree. These are getting objectively worse, Pan Man. Seeing this guy's spell go off in an awesome way, and I think there's no attack roll there, so I don't think granting advantage would help in that moment. I'll look at the pan man and just go, What'd you call me?

Did you call me a loser? What was that? Slybee loser? You think I can't go on the boat? You're not even my real dad. I didn't. I can't go on the boat this summer? I don't think that I said any of those. Yeah, I was on the boat the whole summer. No, I didn't. You're not even my real dad. I didn't. I can't go on the boat this summer? I don't think that I said any of this.

Yeah, I will go to camp the whole summer. No, I made me. You can call me a stupid bug-eyed loser all you want. I speak in cooking puns. I never said any of that. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what's cooked, you. I'm going to jump right at him and just swing with my staff.

Okay. Swing away. Come on! Yeah, you can make it to the base of his pan, and just swing with my staff. Okay. Swinging away. Emma! Yeah, you can make it to the base of his pan, and you're attacking with just your quarterstaff attack? Normally, it can't work on opponents of this size, but I would like to try to knock him prone if I can. Whoa!

I'll say you have to roll pretty high, but yes, let's give it a shot. Okay. Because your outburst of really personal anger seems to have taken him aback. He's used to following recipes and dealing with flavor profiles, not dealing with really damaged, emotional.

Just frothing at the, You're not my real dad! Yeah, this is way too real for Wok Wok. So he's taking it back a little bit. Go ahead and roll to see if you hit. Okay. I'm just watching. Oh. Is this a normal, would you call it,

is this an athletics check or a normal quarterstaff? So you're just, you're not trying to inflict damage, you're just trying to knock him through? No, there actually is, I'm looking at the actions for this, the quarterstaff does have the topple effect. It does? This might be newer rules.

That's fine, you use whatever rules you want. So yeah, I'll make an attack, and if I hit her with this weapon, I can force it to make a constitution saving throw. Great. On a failed save, it goes prone. So I'll just make a quarterstaff attack. Great, I've got his stats, I'll do it.

Ooh, that is a 19. That's a 26 to hit. I'll roll just in case. I'll roll on the table. He gets a plus one to constitution. He got a five. Great, so I sweep the legs. Great. And I'm going to then deal,

that is a seven plus, I deal 12 points of damage. Oh my gosh. Wow! Insane. Yes, Padmand, like an uncaged beast, whacks at this thing. Oh my god! The Wok Wok the Pan Man, strangely,

was standing on just the tip of his pan, which is not a very sturdy surface. He should have been the other way, but it very easily knocks down. I'll say he's going to take Beau with him, unfortunately. Yee-haw! He slams down. Stop making fun of me!

You guys are still here. Yes, Beau, you fall prone to the ground, unless you can make some sort of amazing dope monk shit. I mean, yeah, would you allow me to try in three-point landing with this? Yes, do an acrobatics save. Otherwise, you're going to fall into the flames there and take some additional damage.

Is this a dex save or an acrobatics check? A dex save or an acrobatics check, your choice. They're the same. Ooh, 11. Okay, I'm sorry. You slipped because he's greasy. He's been greased up with butter. You fall prone onto the flame's surface.

You take three points of fire damage. How are you doing? I'm okay. Okay, okay, okay. You're level three, you're okay. Mm. All right, the pan man is down. That was Padme and Skye's turn. Incredible. At the top of the round. I was Padme and Skye's turn. Incredible.

At the top of the round. I mean, I know you're still really traumatized right now. No, I'm doing great! At the top of the round, let me see how many. Just one. Okay, the Pan Man, as you jostled him and started that grease fire, a grease ball shoots out of the flames.

It's, one would even call it a grease elemental. Oh my god. And it is searching for someone to get greasy with. So it's going straight for Yasha and it's going to make an attack. Wait, did I create that with my magic? Yes, you did. That's going to make an attack. Wait, did I create that with my magic? Yes, you did. There we go.

That's incredible spellcasting. Oh boy. No, that's not what it was. You're doing really good in terms of spellcasting. Your spellcasting is actually quite powerful, it turns out. You're a better wizard than you thought. It rolled a 19.

That hits. To hit, plus four, so 23 to hit. Ooh, it hits! Uh-huh. And you take just two points of fire damage from the grease elemental. That is his turn. Jessup, you are up with Kai on deck.

What would you like to do? The pan man is flailing about. His arms just, he looks so uncomfortable right now. He's saying, you've knocked me down, but I will scramble your brain. I love how you bailed out of that one. They're all bad. I'll call out to Kai and Jess up and be like,

In his prone condition, he is susceptible to attacks. I would say that was an ideal time for a sneak attack. And I mean that in the colloquial sense. Great. It's true. I don't know, this is really a lot. It is, you're super stressed. I thought I was doing well, but all of a sudden, he's down,

my counselors are in trouble. I don't know if I could do this. I guess I'll go for an infestation that's a bunch of wood chips that will hit the remaining fires to reignite the Flame of Newb. Okay, so you're going to try to ignite the fire that's under the pan man to try to blast him

with another blast of fire. Okay, and you're making an infestation swarm. Usually it's insects. They're really flammable tiny bugs. Okay, okay. Or they were, which, yeah. Sure. They're really flammable, literal fire.

Literal fire. Yeah. That's very cool. Yes, we'll say that they're carpenter ants, so they're made of wood. The puns are going to make them real. That is just out of the box. Very much so.

And an assortment of other puns. What is the range of infestation? And where are you? You're right here. Yeah. So you're trying to aim over here, five, 10, 15. But I think I'm panicking. 35, 40, 45, so you can reach, and you should absolutely roll

to see if this works. Please roll a d6. How panicky would you say, in a scale of, I don't know, one to three? I think two. You're at a level two panic. She's shaking. You can see that her hands are shaking.

Her whole body is sort of twitching. My little bird bones. Yes, go ahead and roll a d6 and tell me what you get. Which one is it? That's the square one. Yes, go ahead and roll a d6 and tell me what you get. Which one is it? That's the square one. Oh, right, yes. Four. A four, that works.

Oh! Yes, that works. The spell is cast, infestation happens, and a swarm of very flammable insects appears right directly under the flame that is currently heating the pan man and a burst of fire happens. Go ahead and roll 3d6 and see what happens.

He's going to roll for... Five. Oh, that's good. I roll three? Yeah. Six. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. I know, three. Okay, that is, go ahead and roll.

A dex save. I think at disadvantage because you're prone. That's right. Beau, just go over there. So what was your total number, 12? It was six. Five, six, 11. Plus 13, 13 is like 14. 14.

Oh boy, sorry. As before, this flame scalds his body, but he is pretty resistant to fire. I don't know why we keep trying to fire spells. It's the only thing that I feel good about. It's a hand! He yells at you. Oh, are you trying to butter me up?

Oh god. Wow. You said butter before! I'm running out of them! Do you die after all your puns are done? That's okay, 15. Okay, you take half damage. Okay. Because you managed to

roll out of the way of the flame. It was 14, so you take seven damage. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Beau's looking rough, guys. Beau's looking very rough. Oh no. And before the game, I forgot to give both of you healing potions, so great.

We got healing potions? Nope, you don't have them. I forgot to give them to you. We may have one. We have one. Yes, I have one. That's how the cookie crumbles, baby. Is now a good time to give you one?

For the children. Are you, you're not passed out yet, are you? No, no, no. You're very close. Kai, you are up. It is your turn. As you step up, the pan man eyes you and says, well, actually, what are you going to do?

What are you going to do? So if I move and then I do something. Oh, I'm so sorry. At the top of the round, because you are standing down there at the black. Did I hit myself with my? No, no, no. At the start of your turn,

you take two points of damage from the flames that are licking your feet. Both of us? No, you. Okay. You take one point of flame damage. All right! Everybody make a perception check. Okey-dokey.

Including me, as I stop, drop, and roll? 21. Okay. Oh my god. 16. Mine is 11. Okay, anyone who got over a 10. Natural 20. 16. Okay. Mine is 11. Mine is five. Okay, anyone who got over a 10. Natural 20. Amazing. Anyone who got over a 10 gets the sense

that everything on this map is hot and will hurt you, except with the possibility of anything metal. You could probably crawl up and get away from the flames if you were to use those. If you stand on the grill? If you use on the grill, you could probably get away from the hot fire. I know that doesn't make physics sense.

No, it doesn't. But it makes sense in this map. That's fine. So if I move and then do something, would the move itself be an action or? No, the move is a move. Okay, can I move up right next to him? Sure, yes.

You can get base to base with him. Ah! Yes, would you like to be near his thorax? Yeah, right there. Okay. No, I got a water skin. Okay, great. Oh. I'm gonna try to pour that in his mouth.

Incredible, I love this. So you use your action to dump the contents of your canteen, essentially, right into the pan. Yes. His scorching hot mouth screeches and squelches with flame. Roll a d6. Tell me what you get.

All right. Oh, that's a one. Actually, you know what? First, let me make sure that you can hit him. Roll a d20 for an attack. 14. Yeah, that'll hit. And you got a one.

I'll say that this is a 1d6 plus two of damage. So you deal three points of damage, but it seems to, it's not a great amount of water, but the amount of water that you've poured on there, it seems to really, really bother him. He screams in pain. Ah!

I can't even think of a pun about this! It does more damage than even you thought it would do. Whoa. Are you maybe boiling? That's a good one! Why didn't I come up with that one? Wait a minute. Is he cast iron?

He is. He is. You're not supposed to, now that's actually a myth, but you're not supposed to wash cast iron pans! Everybody spit in his mouth! I always knew camp would end the day that I spat in someone's mouth. Kai, you've used some of your movement, you've used your action, you have a bonus action.

You can move a little bit more, probably. Okay, I'm going to back up from him a tiny bit. Okay, where are you going to? I'm going to go on the other side, yeah. Here? Yeah. Onto the grill? Yes. Okay, let's stick you on this grill. I'll try to, anyway. Bloop, there you are.

End of your turn. Incredible. It is now Wok Wok's turn. He is going to use half of his movement to stand up. Back over here. And seeing who did this damage to him. Uh-oh. Can we get an attack of opportunity?

You can if he moves away. He cannot teleport right now, but he will try to jump over here. You definitely get an attack of opportunity. Padmin, you do as well. Hell yeah. As he moves away. Actually, you know what? Yasha does, but Padménd, he's staying

sort of within your melee range. So Yasha gets an attack. Great. Well, I rolled 23. That hits, yes. Right. What are you attacking with? I am attacking, well, I guess third level, do I have my anything?

It's your character. I don't know what you have. Well, I would usually have my Scaldsaber, but I don't know if I brought that to camp. It's very scary and very bloody all the time. Sure. Sure, let's go with, maybe I just have a, maybe I just, it's just, it says a greatsword here. But so maybe to camp, I just brought a clean,

Basic sword. Basic sword. Does it have a cool name, like all of Yasha's swords? Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a... silver sword. You see Yasha draw the famed silver sword. You see Yasha draw the famed silver sword. You see Yasha draw the famed silver sword.

This one. And she draws it slowly for great effect, but it's not as big as some of her other swords, so it just goes and that's it. It's out. All right, take an attack of opportunity, which is not very good. Would you deal?

Okay, so three, four, five, eight. Okay, that's amazing. Okay, great, great. Klang, your sword hits it. The pan man is irate. A spark flies off of his back. He turns down to you, Kai, and he says, there's too many cooks in this kitchen, if you ask me.

Yes! And he's going to swipe at you with his fork. His fork? Yes. His food? He goes to swipe at you, and right as he does, I can't hit a kid. That just feels wrong.

He's still affected by the guilt. Ooh! Nice! Is it good? Nice! Yes, and he abstains from firing off his attack. Instead, he will, because it's not him doing it, he will summon two more grease elementals.

Oh jeez. That pop up here and here. Oh jeez! This one is going to move towards you, Kai, and get there, but not attack. This one can move and attack. And so he's going to roll to hit, Kai. He rolled a 17. I'm sure that hits.

And he deals three points of fire damage to you. You okay? Ouch! This grease elemental slams into you and you're covered with hot, hot burning grease. That's it for Wok Wok's turn. Yasha, you're up. Oh boy. Okay, so, gosh, do I attack Wok Wok?

And by the way, Eden, Alex, Liebe, she got to attack twice, not because she's special or anything. When a bad guy moves out of range, you're allowed to get a little swipe as they run away. All right, so. Also because she's special. I mean, you know, to get a little swipe as they run away. All right, so. Also because she's special. I mean, you know, I'm usually very strong,

but not in this moment. I don't know whether I go for a walk-walk or the elementals. Let's go for a walk-walk. All right. Let's do this one. Okay. Oh, natural 20. Oh my gosh. Yay!

Yay! Oh, at the beginning of your turn, you do take some damage. Sorry, sorry, sorry, fire damage. Wait, I was on the grill. Oh, you were on the grill, then you take no damage. Well, I was on the grill. That's fine, that's fine. Prior to him.

That's fine, that's fine. Okay, got it. That's fine. All right, so I have Divine Fury on my first hit, so that's 1d6. You get multiple hits? And then I have 2d6. No, no, no, just one. Oh, okay. Divine Fury is radiant damage.

Okay, great, great. So, ah! Where did it go? There it is, okay. Oh man, I'm rolling so bad. Okay, so five, seven points of radiant damage. Great. Nice.

And then we've got six points of regular damage. Of just bludgeoning? Of just bludgeoning. Or slashing? Slashing? Slashing. That's a huge hit. You guys watch as Yasha, who is holding this sword that just feels uncomfortable in her hand. She's used to a much more heavy blade,

but yet it moves so quickly, and she's just so deft with it. Nice! Carving through the side of this pan man, sparks fly. It doesn't do quite as much damage as you thought, because he's made of metal. Yeah. But it does quite a bit of damage.

And he shrinks back in pain, turning angrily at you, as you can tell from his face. So angry. Yeah, come at me, Pan! Great. Beau, you're up, with Sky and Padmond on deck. Okay. Yeah, you're up. I take out my boots.

At the beginning of your turn, you take four points of heat damage. Oh no! Please, we're not good! Okay. We are both in the trenches. Beau has seen better days. Yes, I have.

This is a fucking, I fought demagogues, and it's going to be a pan that does me in. Okay, first and foremost, just a little observational question. This nice little gas range that we're on with the little knobbies on the back. Oh! Are those functional knobbies? I mean, they certainly look functional.

Huge, smart woman. They're all turned to the full setting. Oh! They're all turned to the full setting. Mm-hmm. You genius. Wow, nuts. Do I go for a walk-walk, or do I? Okay.

Yeah, fuck it, let's do it. I'm going to disengage from Wok Wok. Okay. I'm going to Step of the Wind and I'm going to go for what I'm assuming is the back burner that Wok Wok is currently on, which I think is the far right one. Roll an intelligence check, I guess.

Sure! No pop-ups for Wok Wok? You okay, you okay, you okay? Sure! No pop-pops for Wok Wok? Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay. Just a straight intelligence throw. 13. I mean, this is Exandria. You know how gas stoves work. They're all over the place.

I mean, I do most of the cooking, but, you know. It's true. It's true. It's fine. Dani knows that there are conventional gas ovens all over Exandria, why not? So you're going for, god, I can't even see over here.

I believe it's this burner? I don't know how stoves work! Where's Qian when we need her? You do know how stoves work. Yes. I know how to. And what are you going to try to do? Turn it off. Turn it off. Yeah. Okay. You what are you going to try to do? Turn it off. Turn it off. Yeah.

Okay. You, I guess, roll a strength check. This is a big knob. That's what she said. All right, come on, come on. Is this going to be your action? Because you could also, I will say this, I will say this,

you could also use your staff to knock it, if you'd like to, or your fists. That would be like a top hit? Yes, an attack. I'll do that, I'll say this, you could also use your staff to knock it if you'd like to, or your fists. That would be like attacking it? Yes, an attack. I'll do that. I'll do that, because that's better. Because you're not strong. Because I'm not strong. Jesus, I'm rolling like absolute ass.

Uh-huh. Okay, that's going to be 10 total. Sure, sure. You do make contact with it and it does spin. And now it's on half. Okay. It definitely did something. The flame still burns, but a little less. Pan turns around and says,

Who dares tamper with my flame? You, you. Not so tough, Lon, anymore, are you? Wow! That was a bad one. I'm going to spend a ki point to do Flurry of Blows. anymore, are you? Wow! That was a bad one. I'm going to spend a ki point to do flurry of blows. Yes.

To continue to punch at the knob. Okay. Great. So I'm going to do two attacks at the knob. Yep, go ahead. Okay, that one's cacked. Okay, first one is going to be a 20 total, a dirty 20. 100%.

And the next one is a 12. Yes. Okay, great. You don't even have to roll damage. The flame turns off. And Pan Man is suddenly, if he could bend, he would slump over. It definitely affects him, but he can't bend.

So you just get the sense that it's very uncomfortable for him to be less hot, I suppose. He suffers no damage, but he is quite annoyed and distracted by this right now. Okay. Okay. I guess it's my turn. That is your turn. Sky and Padmin, you are both up.

Good call on those buttons. I'll look at you. Do you have any way to create water? No, no, I do not. Me neither. I got nothing. But I'm feeling tremendous guilt because I cast that Grease spell and it ended up hurting Yasha

and creating this elemental and I feel as though I'm just not helping anyone at all. and I feel as though I'm just not helping anyone at all. And it makes me very angry. Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Very angry.

But I also think I'm quite far from this guy. Yes. Both things can be true. If I run toward him, that's my whole turn, right? I see that you need to get mad. We go on the same turn and I'm going to say, Skye, you've believed in us the whole time. We would never have made it here without you.

I'll knock him down. You set it up. And I'm going to try to knock him towards Skye so that she doesn't have to spend her whole turn running. So I want to try to topple him again and send him in that other direction. I'm going to look at him and I'll say, hey, when we got here, we thought this grid will be the death of us.

You can be not a genius and see that this is a dangerous situation. We sought a way to work together. Wow. And we have the skill it takes to get this done. Time to put you on the back burner. And if it hurts, hey buddy, walk it off. I want to hit him as hard as I can.

I'll say that, amazing, he looks down at you and he just says, that was hot. I'll say that you're not actually going to swing for him. He's balancing on one of the griddles, the grills, and you're going to aim for that and see if you can take his feet out from under him and tilt him forward. Go ahead and roll to see if you can make this attack.

Hell yeah. I'm going to roll, try to hit him. Here we go. Ooh, that's a 16 plus seven. Definitely hit. Roll for damage just to see how badly you whack this thing. Yeah, go on. I'll forego damage to give him disadvantage on his constitution save. Okay. Ooh! Great. Okay, constitution save.

I'll roll it on the table. Eight, he's already failed. Four, Okay, great. Okay, constitution save. I'll roll it on the table. Eight, he's already failed. Four, terrible, great. So this works. Clang! You watch as Padman, fueled by this amazing strength that comes from his belt, slams the grill in front of Wok Wok.

Wok Wok, who was just getting ready to swipe down at Padmin for having those amazingly horrible puns, but there's nothing beneath his foot anymore. And so he topples forward. As he falls, feel free to take your action, young Skye, as he falls and impact, boom, right there in front of you. Right in front of you. Right in front of you.

Wow. Get his eyes! And I will. I'm going to two-handed attack with my dagger and handaxe and throw them. I mean, you could hit. You don't even have to throw. I'm just going to. I'm just going to. Yeah, and at this point,

you'd also go into a rage at this point. And I'm absolutely in a rage. All I've wanted my whole life is to use my magic for good, and instead, my magic has somehow backfired. I can't control it, and it's caused too much damage and caused too much harm, and I've seen my friends in peril too much today, and I'm hideously angry at this beast in particular,

and I would like to be in a rage and attack. Okay. Incredible. She is loving. Incredible. She's starting to believe. You are so hot right now, but you can't tell if it's the heat of the flames, the heat of the pan man,

or just the heat of your rage and anger boiled up and bottled up for so long, and you release it, unleashing it. Go ahead and roll. How does rage work? You roll with advantage? No, actually, you roll with advantage because he's prone. That's right. There you go.

Yes. And then you add extra damage. Extra damage. Yes. Okay, go ahead and roll to hit. Please make it good. Come on, 17? Roll one more time. And 11. Okay, great. Because you get two attacks, or no? We're just rolling with advantage. Roll it one more time. And 11. Okay, great.

Because you get two attacks, or no? We're just rolling with one. She was advantage. Oh, advantage, okay, good. 17 definitely hits, go ahead. And then damage? Yeah, what weapon are you attacking? I am, well, can I two-handed attack? Is that possible?

Technically, you only get one attack at this level, I believe. Are you attacking with daggers? A dagger and handaxe, yes. So the dagger could be a light two-handed, but you used your bonus action to go into a rage. Oh, right, okay. So whatever, I hit him.

I suggest you hit with the handaxe. Handaxe, one, d6 plus two. Yes. Okay, yeah. Four. Okay, great. So that's six. That's another two for rage. That's eight. Eight! Eight points of damage.

This handaxe actually makes not just a dent, but a hole in the side of Wok Wok the Pan Man, doing incredible amounts of damage. Let me see. Okay, good. He howls in pain. Ah! His googly eyes going crazy.

He's doing really, really badly, but he's still alive. Oh gosh. And that's the end of your turn. Or would you like to move? Would you like to do anything else? Do you have any bonus actions? Any potions, any items that you try to use?

I only have Riz. Can I charisma him to death? You can drink the potion of Riz. It'll just make you more charismatic. Yeah, I don't think that's going to help me right now. Great. Then at the top of the round, all of these creatures get a go. Oh no. They are a go. Oh no.

They are surrounding Kai. Oh no, Kai, no! Jesus. I'm sorry, Kai. They're both going to attack you. Not again. This one is going to fly over and attack Yasha. No.

All right, Yasha rolled a 18 plus two to hit. That hits. Sure. You take seven points of fire damage. Whee! The first one rolled a nine to hit you, Kyle. What's your armor class? Oh, 14. 14.

This grease ball chomps at you with its greasy teeth, but you deftly dodge it. Nothing. Then the second roll is a six. The second one beside you also tries to grab at you, but instinctively, you know it's behind you. You drop down and it flies right over your head. Both attacks miss.

Nice! Top of the round. Jessup, you are up. The pan man's looking really rough. What would you like to do? He's so close to me. What I want to do is I want to use my Sorcerer's Burst because I'm right there,

but I'm really starting to panic. Had to. Horrifying. Horrifying. Horrifying. That's great. At the top of the turn, by the way, you do take two points of fire damage. Oh no! Oh, I'm really low now. What are you at? I'm at a one.

Oh no! No problem, no problem. You're still alive. Still alive. Still alive. So you're going to fire a Sorceress Burst? I'm going to attempt to. Okay, go ahead and roll a d6 and see if this works. Come on, come on, Jessup.

Five. I believe it does work. Even though you're anxious, nervous, chaos is all around you, you remember the things that your friends have said about breathing, taking it slow. You focus yourself. There's a song whispering in my ear.

Yes, you do, you do. Zorbo's one, Zorbo's all. Let's all do the Zorbo's one, Zorbo's all. Let's all do the Zorbo call. Zorbo call. It's a very beautiful song. I think I may have been absent on the day that was created. Your eye lights up with a glowing glint

and fires out a sorcerer's burst. Just a subtle reminder, I think as a bonus action, you can give yourself advantage on this attack with the innate sorcery. Yes! Come on. But I feel like for a bonus action, I should take a potion. I'm learning. Nice, man. That's sick.

That's some sick DMing back there. By the end of three episodes, I've gotten one good thing right. But should I, as a bonus action, be taking my healing potion? Because I'm about to die. That is up to you. You have it for next round.

Okay. Yeah, then I will use my innate sorcery for advantage. Okay, great. Gathering all of your strength, all of your courage, go ahead and roll with advantage to see if you hit with this sorceress burst. Okay, not great. That was a, why can't I read these sixes and nines?

Six? It's really hard. Okay, great, and I believe you get advantage, so roll one more time. And a seven. Ooh, plus, yee, Jessup, plus five. Oh, 12. Your Sorceressess burst just barely misses

and shoots wide. I'm so sorry. Just misses and fires off into the ether, but it was a dramatic and exciting move. That's your move, unfortunately. Jezebkai, you're up. So I do have something. It was very good.

It was very good. I do have something in here. It's okay, you guys don't need to lie to me. I'll do better next time. You do have a movement, though, so you could perch yourself up on iron so you won't get burned. I would like to do that, yes. So maybe moving over here, over here.

Yeah, that one. Okay, great. You're sitting right next to a dead and dying slab of bacon. Great. Cool. Smells good, though. Yes, Kyle. So I have an initiative swap as one of my feats.

That would have happened earlier. However, tell me what you want to do with it. Okay, well, if it can't happen now, I'm not going to do that. Basically, you can switch places in the order with one person. Oh! That means he would be going later, I guess.

Yeah, but that's okay. I'll forego that. Okay. What I'm going to do is I'm going to assume that, because he goes after me, like, walk, walk, comes after me. He does. I'm going to assume that, because he goes after me, like, walk, walk, goes after me. He does. I'm going to assume that he's going to get up. Therefore, I want to take my rope that I had.

Okay. And I want to toss it over to Padman. Great. Where is Padman right there? Right there. Oh, right next to the thing. Yes, okay, great. So I'm going to toss my rope over to you. And my hope is that once he gets up, we can just trip him up one more time.

Okay. Okay, so you're preparing for the next round. Yes, yes. And I guess, are you holding your action until he gets up and then you'll sweep? I think so, yeah. Sweep at the rope? Okay, great. Do you want to move, just throwing it out there,

that if you do move, these guys may attack you as you try to get away? Ooh. I'm going to stay here just throwing it out there, that if you do move, these guys may attack you as you try to get away? Ooh. I'm going to stay here and risk it. Okay. Okay, you stay post. Podman, grab! I grab the rope, and I see him,

and I see that we're trying to move that. I think I've got a plan. Okay. I'm going to look at Kai. I go, Kai! You're surrounded by grace elementals! I know, it's not great! They're killing you! They are, I'm very hurt look at Kai, and I go, Kai! You're surrounded by grease elemental! I know, it's not great! They're killing you! They are, I'm very hurt, by the way.

Oh no! Okay, grab that, and I'm ready. I'll wait for my turn. As a bonus action, you could, I think you have a potion. That's right, I do. I'm just throwing it out there. You don't have to use it now.

I'm just saying that you have it. No, I've learned my lesson. I'm using it now. I'm popping that. I'm popping that now. You should probably use it now. Okay, so go ahead and roll 2d4, that's the pyramid ones. That's a four.

And that's another four. You're back to full. Nice! You pop the cork on that baby, you're back to full. Okay, incredible. Yasha-Bo, you're both up. Okay. I'm sorry, no. Wok-Wok? Wok-Wok is up.

Wok-Wok is up, and he's going to try to stand. As he stands, he's going to go out of melee with you, young barbarian. So you get another swipe out. Come on! Yes! Go ahead and attack. Roll a d20 to attack, if you'd like to. Yes, I'd like to.

I'm going to say no to that. 17. Definitely hits, roll for damage, plus rage. So 1d6 plus two. Yeah. Come on. Two plus two plus two, six. Incredible. Ooh, ooh, he's hurt. Ooh, he's hurt.

He's looking really rough. How strong is this guy? Very strong. He's made of metal. You're so close. He's also huge. It makes me madder. Yep. Okay, great, great, great. Walk, Walk the Pan Man.

He's not really in range of anybody else. Oh, wait. He's going to use his... He's going to try to sear the two that are in front of him in range. He's going to fire a Cone of Grease. Oh no! He can get both of you, just barely.

Is that Jessup and me? Yes. And he fires a Cone of Grease. Make a dexterity save to see if you can avoid this spray of grease. Oh my gosh. 13 plus zero. Nine plus one is 10.

Okay, Jessup, you manage to just barely get out of the way. You take no damage. God, that would've killed me. I know! And Padmin, you take four points of damage? Padmin, no! I drank that healing potion, right? You were at full.

I have three hit points left. Woo! Okay. Oh my god. That's his move. Yasha-Bo, you're up. So wait, is Padmin down? Oh wait, no. He's up. Yeah, meaning I am okay. You are okay.

As the geese are just throwing the hot grease on me, I'm going to look up and go, bonjour, mon ami. I didn't know we were trying to cook some frog legs. I'm badly injured. Bonjour, mon ami. Smells good in here.

Oh no. Yes, and as he turns to you, Padménd, just so that I can say another pun, he's just going to say, soon you'll be off the menu. And that's it. You bailed out of the end? Yeah, I did. I bailed out of all the work.

Off the menu or maybe on the menu? Off the, off the, god, you kids! Maybe this will be okay. Yeah. All right.. God, no, you kids! The menu's still be okay? Yeah. All right. All right, what you got? I have a weird idea. Great. So the burst that you did,

was it a physical burst? Like a magical? Yes. Is there any way that I can see that it's going wide and just bat it with my greatsword into Wok Wok to do a combined... The sorcerer's burst is a... Describe it. It's like a burst of radiance, or what is it?

Yeah, of powerful force that shot out of my monocle into... And as you watched it, as it was flying towards Wok Wok the Pan Man, he held up his very shiny mirror-finished spatula, which did block it, and it shot out into the world. But you can see in the distance that it has been sort of knocking around.

And it is currently flying back. It would be pretty hard to catch, but you could catch lightning in a bottle and you could possibly deflect it towards him. It would take quite a move. What kind of move would it make? Or what kind of move would it take? I'll say it's flying right this way,

fizzling out as it goes, and you would have to roll an acrobatics check to see if you can do a bow-type move. Oh, acrobatics is terrible. Okay, all right. I'm just going to take a, I'm going to, I'm going to. You're bailing. I'm bailing.

Your wife has taught you acrobatics for years. I have not. Screw it, you know what? Let's just try. Let's just see if it works. Let's just see if it works. I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it. Okay. What did I need to get? I would say a 15.

No, I didn't do it. Oh! So Yasha jumps off of this grease creature, does a double backflip, just like she's seen her wife do a hundred times, but she's much, much larger and heavier, doesn't get the ups that her wife does. I land in between the holes.

And you just fall short of the blast and you fall on your hip. It really hurts. Ow! Your keys were in there. Oh! Your keys! Yeah. And I'll say that you take...

Those are the big, chunky medieval keys, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take socks. Three points of damage as you land. Oh, boy! That's your action. That's my action. Beau, you're up.

Okay. I'm very torn here. I don't know if turning off fire is worth my time. But he got a little droopy, right? Yes, and also he's moving. Well, now he's back on flame again, but he got droopy. He moved with half speed.

He couldn't do his teleporting. Yes, it does help. Okay. Yeah, that's still lame, so I'm still not going to mess with the oven anymore. I see Kai and Padmin setting up this move and I see what they're trying to do. I'm delirious and I think the fumes

are starting to get to me as well as this potion. So I turn and I look at Kai and I see him flanked by these grease monsters and I go, my boy, Little Beau, I'm coming to save you! And I run. Yep. I run 40 feet.

Yep. Get back, leave Little Beau alone! And I'm going to do two big swing. Well, I'll start with just one big swing to the first one. Go ahead and roll to hit. Okay, 12. Hits. Rolling like ass. Hits, yeah, no, that's easy enough.

Swing at the first, is one looking a little more rough? Neither have taken any damage. Neither have taken any damage! Neither have taken any damage! Okay, fine. The first one is going to take, jeez louise, five bludgeoning damage. That one's gone. Great!

I'm going to spend my last ki point to pop pop and do two unarmed strikes at the next one. Amazing. Okay, I believe those both hit. That's going to be, the first one's a 16, so 22 for the first one, and then 14 for the second. Du-ba-du-ba-du-ba-doo. These are d4s.

These are, I am not prepared. Where's my dice? Here we go. Okay. First one. Oh, this is better than my damn staff. That's going to be eight damage. Dead. Okay. Gone.

Gone. And I just look at him and I go, finish this. I look at her and I go, M-m-m-m. Say it. My counselor. Shit.

Saint. Sky and Padmand, you are both up. Padmin, you are doing an action in concert with Kai, but whatever order you guys want to do with it. I've got the rope, so I'd like to do the first part of an action to use this rope with Kai to try to, once again again trip Wok Wok.

Right. But I think, too, I want to look at... Does Wok Wok go before Jessup and Kai go? No, Jessup and Kai go before Wok Wok. Cool, so in that case, I can delay my turn. I'll send my turn down the initiative order to go along with Kai. Great.

But does Jessop go before Kai or no? Yes. Yes. So in that case, on my turn, I'll ready an action to go with Kai. Well, and Kai delayed his action to go with you. Oh, he did? Oh, you did? Okay, so we're doing the same thing, great. So we'll go at the same time.

And now there's no attack of opportunity. So I'll look at you and say, let's do it. But I want to Audra's interaction. I see Jassop panicking. I think I have this item that I got, which is a box of tea. It goes, it's oolong.

It is oolong. It's very fragrant. I look at Jassop panicking,. I look at Jessup, panicking, and I look at this tea and think about the calm of drinking a cup of tea in the morning, looking over this beautiful campsite. I go, and I go, Jessup. Yeah?

It's okay. What? You're an incredible sorcerer. What? The tea an incredible sorcerer. What? The tea. Center yourself. Breathe in the fragrance. I want to hurl the box of tea right at Jessup's face.

I guess we'll... That's looking delicious. We'll athletics. 14 plus five is 19. Yes. Whoa. Not only do you throw it, you open the box as you release and fragrant tea leaves flit about you, combining with the heat of the area,

and you are just sort of, you're in a brief moment of paradise where all other stress fades away. And it's just, you imagine yourself, well, I'm not going to tell you what you imagine. a brief moment of paradise where all other stress fades away. Wow. It's just, you imagine yourself, well, I'm not going to tell you what you imagine. You imagine a very peaceful, serene moment, maybe from your past or from your future.

Where are you right now? I'm thinking about this moment by the lake with my friend over here. When we first got here, Sky, I was really nervous for this camp. Sky sat down beside me and said, Hey, Jessa, you're going to do great. And for a moment, I believed her.

Right now, I believe her again. Aw! Okay, all your stress is gone. Wow. You are restored to zero. Amazing. Would you like to use the rest of your action to continue this move with Kai?

Yeah, we're going to do this team move here. Okay. Both of you roll a d20 just to see how this works. Ooh, okay. 11 plus five is 16 for athletics. Athletics, that's where it is. So I have an 18 plus three, that's 21. Incredible.

So you guys both take this rope using all your motion and you jump over and go around him, trading places, let's say, tying him up. He cannot resist. He's going to roll a constitution save to see if he gets thrown forward. Yeah, I think at the end,

as we scramble him up in the rope, I'll do the finishing move with a long, one-handed base of the quarterstaff. As I swing this massive wooden staff at the bottom of his pan, I go, Oh, and I thought you were a non-stick pan. I'll look up at him and I'll yell, Hey, ugly, you're not going to like how this pans out.

Oh, Jesus. Your performance has been universally panned! As he falls, he looks at both of you with begrudging respect. Well played, well played. He's falling forward. Everything clicks into slow motion as he falls forward. The direction he's falling, he wobbles left, wobbles right,

and he's falling right between Skye and Jessop. As he falls, both of you simultaneously, it's your turn, both of you can make an attack together. Come on! Yes! Yes, because your next padman's, I'm sorry, Skye's next and Jessop's after her. Additional context, when we were crossing paths with the rope, we did a sick high five. Absolutely.

Absolutely insane high five. Fucking twisted high five. Absolutely metal high five. Just out of curiosity, do you bend down to high five him or do you leap up to high five? Actually, I'm holding my staff in my webbed feet and I come underneath my own legs, like through, and it's like, out of there.

And then come back around, hit the back of his foot. It's hard to look at this high five. It's like an MC Escher drawing of staircases. The loud sound resonates throughout the space. Who? Both of you can attack together, whatever you'd like to do. What do you got?

I think, so I have this, a brain. You found a brain in a jar, sure. Yeah, a brain in a jar suspended in liquid. It smells gross. I'm going to take this brain in the jar and crack the smelly jar open and throw it onto the pan to forever ruin its cooking abilities

and drown it in this terrible smelling liquid. Great, okay, and Skye, what are you doing? Yeah, I'm pretty close to it. I'm going to take my hand ax and I'm going to scrape off its non-stick coating. Ooh, it's been seasoned for years. It has this beautiful patina on it. I can, it's so proud. That's the secret

of its success. I can tell that that's the secret of its strength, and it's very proud of that, and so it will add insult to injury if I can carry it off. Both of you roll to see if you hit. I think for you, just roll a d20, I guess, athletics to see if you can toss this at it.

Do I add anything to that? This is for an attack. Your attack modifier. I got a 10. That's fine, I mean, you don't need to roll that. With prone, is that advantage? Oh, for sure it's advantage with prone. Go ahead. Both of you get advantage because it's that. With prone, is that advantage? Oh, for sure it's an advantage with prone. Go ahead.

Both of you get advantage because it's prone. Oh, thank god. 18 minus one, 17! Yes! Amazing, amazing. Oh. 10, a little better. Wait, do I add anything to that? This is you're doing your attack, right? With your axe? Your hand down?

Yeah. Add your. So that's a plus four to hit. Yes. Yes, that's right. So that's a 14 to hit? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh yeah, right! I'm looking at the wrong thing. Yes, that's right. So that's a 14 to hit? Yeah. Oh yeah, right! I'm looking at the wrong thing, I'm a plus four. Yes. Yes! Both hit, roll for damage.

Okay. Yes. 1d6 plus two, plus two. 1d6 plus two, plus two. Filled with anger, rage bubbling up. It's five seven. Okay. Yes. The contents of the jar, which is a brain, but it's filled with a weird, viscous, syrupy liquid, spills out over the pan man's face.

He recoils in pain. Ah, no! No, it's rusting me! You see this brain skittering across and you smash right down on the brain, shattering it. How do you guys want to do this? You're going, you are. You have killed Walk-Walk the Pan Man.

How do you want him to die? How do you want to fondue this? Oh! Okay, so we, I think that he's still a little hot, so the brains sizzle. I say to him, because I know it's going to really hurt his feelings, that's the most brains you've ever had.

Great, great. Great. Very insulting. And then my impulse is, you know, we've been on this ride together, Olgas. We've all grown a lot. We've had friends along the way that we've lost, and I'd like for us all to have a role in this. Friend along the way that we lost.

Yes, Archie was. We had a vision, he came back very briefly for a cameo. And I'd love for us all to have a hand in taking this guy down. Is that a thing that we can do? Absolutely. If you want to wait until Kai and Padman come over to join you, you all stand around the pan,

bubbling with heat, and you all can do whatever sort of action you'd like to to finish it off. I say we just start kicking the shit out of them. Dio. Hell yeah. Hey, whose brain was that? We're trying not to think about it. I know that I'm really locked into this moment

of camaraderie with you guys, but you didn't mention that you had that. So I'm alarmed, but let's do it. Let's do it! That's our mission. Yeah, okay, yes. And you curb stomp. You curb stomp the pan to death.

I'm going to be watching this from the grate, and I'm just going to take a knee and put my sword down and just watch. I walk over to Yasha, and I just, as she's on her knee, hug her from behind. Yes. And we just.

We did it. We did it. Look at them. They're so good. They're so violent. They're so violent. I'm so proud. They did so good. Yes. He's so good. Yes. He's beaten into oblivion. Looks like I'm well done!

And he's dead forever. Dead and gone. All of the cook surfaces calm themselves. The fires die down. The grease elementals disappear from view. Everything starts to slowly disintegrate around you. It looks like the entire space that you're in is starting to disintegrate, melting, falling away.

In fact, it's looking quite dangerous when all of a sudden, a purple and blue glow lights up the chamber and a familiar voice beckons. Oh, campers, I'm afraid it's curfew. Mishi, the curfew creature is somehow inexplicably right in front of you. Before you have a moment to react, poof,

a warm radiance washes over the six of you and you are teleported back to the central meeting point of Wildemount Wildlings' camp, the Hubbub Hub. Mishi delivers you to this spot and says, congratulations, it looks like you had an eventful day. Let me know when those cards come out, will you? Is this real? She pinches you and it feels real.

Your face covered in blood, I'm half-cooked, holding a staff, so violent. I'll never be normal again. That just means the cards get even better. Yeah, oh right, we had a thing with cards. Sorry, I'm not doing okay. You are at the central meeting hub of the camp and you notice that in your absence, the campers have returned.

Yeza had alerted Veth and the others about what was going on. The campers had returned for safety and insurance reasons. They all gather around to hear what happened. Many of them with scared faces and impressed faces as you guys regale them, explaining the events of the afternoon, the bizarre monsters at the Magic Meadow, the strange maze of food,

the scary childlike encounters you somehow overcame. As you do, the campers are on the edge of their seats, wrapped by your every word. Even Drak Winterforge, the guy who had mocked you earlier, he's like, oh my god, you guys, that sounds awesome. Finally, as you finish telling them about the day's events, Veth takes center stage and says,

Well, it looks like I was right about you all. After all, I always knew you had what it takes to be true wildlings. Never had a single doubt! Which is why I'm proud to say, well, I'm not going to say anything. You two, did they pass their exams today? With flying colors. With flying colors.

We, and I'm making sure. Pretend we said that at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Flying colors. Did you guys rehearse that? No, we felt it in the moment. You should marry, you know.

Yeah, it's shorthand. We finish each other's sentences. I'm going to make sure that all of the campers here, they all saved our lives. Had they not been there, two members of the Mighty Nein would have been dead. It's true. You do look like shit right now.

Yeah, I feel like total ass. Shit. Going to have to have a serious talk with Caleb and Yeza about whatever the hell that potion was. That was unfair. That was very unfair. I still feel like we could have done this with our full, at full capacity. Yeah.

I'm not going to kill a child. No. I've only punched two kids. I don't even know if I've. No. I've only punched two kids. Yeah, I don't even know if I've punched any. You have seen me punch kids, but they deserved it. My child also died in your care once. Well. Well, that is a little different.

No, no. Luke's fine. Look at him, he's fine. Yeah. That was a bad mothering choice that you sent him with us. True, true. So I'm just going to put that on you.

Yes, Padman. Director Veth, I have a question. Yes. Were the events that we experienced today real or figments of a powerful illusion magic? You know, I don't really know. Honestly, I don't know how this happened. And as she says that, Yeza stands forward saying,

Actually, I have a theory about this. I think it might be my fault. Earlier, I was experimenting with dunamancy in my lab. It's a chaotic and unpredictable form of metaphysical magic that can bend reality, physics, time, space. Caleb lent me a small vial of dunamis, and I was trying to create some potions from it. I believe earlier, one of my potions, poof,

went and exploded by accident. Yasha, you were there, weren't you? When that explosion- Saw the poof come out and then I felt drunk. Yes, I think maybe that dunamantic explosion had some sort of unintended effect. Apologies, but sometimes dunamis can access the parts of us that are unexplored or unknown.

Emotional states, anxiety, imagination, that sort of thing. Does any of that ring true to you? Well, of course. I have all those things at all times. Yes. And those monsters, did they mean anything to you?

Well, I feel like... Is this some repressed childhood trauma or something? With the two sharks and one of them had a hat on. What was that all about? Interesting. And Cub Cub? See, so there's a, there's, I have, I have a journal, okay?

And I draw, there's a whole entire section that is just like modern art style. You know, what's the word I'm looking for? Expressionism. Yes, like expressionism and so I draw things. As she flips through the pages, you see very similar pictures. I'm trying to make it seem like it's like a cake.

To the ones that you saw. I draw much better than this! You see one called Dark World, which reminds you of that horrifying dimension of shadows that you briefly said. I actually, if I'm going to be honest with you, I'm developing a comic. Ah.

So I have been very proud of hearing about your cards. We could do a collaboration down the line. Yeah. But it's for kids, right? It's for kids, which is why it looks the way that it does. Yeah. Which is why. Is this responsible for the shade of my skin

changing to that other shade of blue? No, I think that was your fault. Oh, well. That's okay. I can't talk about my fault. I think that's unrelated. Dunamancy has been known to interact with strong desires or feelings or repressed worries.

They were coming alive because of what was in my head? Somehow, Dunamantic magic took control of the pages of your notebook and somehow brought them to life. This is embarrassing! It's embarrassing for me. I made this happen as well. I'm so sorry.

I mean, why didn't you pick the parts of the journal? I didn't pick the parts of the journal. My really good drawings. I'm not getting, whatever. Anyway, I apologize. Veth steps forward and says, You know what? Maybe no one should admit fault, just for legal reasons.

I'm not. Yes, this was all a big whoopsie, but sometimes that happens at the Wildlings' camp, and we roll with it, right? As soon as I get home, I will be asking my mom to pursue vigorous legal action against. What if I were to sweeten the pot for you, Padménd? You've wanted to become a wizard, correct?

Yes, very much so. I could possibly write a strong letter of recommendation to the Soltrys Academy, the foremost academy for wizards. I happen to know someone who works there and maybe they could get you in free of charge. Wow. Be a great wizard. I'm going to look at my friends. Wow. Be a great wizard.

I'm going to look at my friends. But there's nowhere in all of Exandria that can teach me what my friends have already taught me. So no, I'll be suing the camp and shutting it down. All right. I'm understood. I don't disagree. Or me and my friends get to come back for free and we don't have to be in the older cabin.

Also, what are you wearing right now? I'm wearing my camp outfit, my hat, my... I want that hat. Oh, I mean, this is the camp hat, my... I want that hat. Oh, I mean, this is the camp director's hat. I want that hat. Give him the damn hat, Veth. But I have hat hair right now. Legal actions.

Legal actions. Free tuition, we get to be in a normal, non-shade-based cabin, and we get your hat. And we call it Even Stevens. We also all owe you autographs. Yes, that's right! Yes. Not you, though, I just want the hat. If you don't want them, we can.

So we're trying to arrive at a settlement right now, so if you guys have anything you want to throw in there, because afterwards it'll be double jeopardy, so you have to. Do you have any more of that tea left? Was there tea involved? There was a Su Long tea that would smell just delightful. That's my tea!

I drink that every day! I would like all of that tea. That's my tea! I import that from Marquette! Put the tea in the hat. Tea, hat, normal non-shame-based cabin, free tuition, and there's no litigation. What do you want, Skullcrusher? I just want to stay here. Will you allow me to come back?

How about this? In addition to all those things, which I will reluctantly grant, you all get a merit badge as well, and you can pick whatever merit badge you'd like, or name your own. I'd like a friendship badge. A friendship badge.

Well, that's very- I was going to say take the wizard one, because- No, no, friendship is somehow more meaningful. No, no, wizard's good, too. Whatever you'd like, but that's very sweet. We don't have a friendship badge here, but maybe you're the first to earn it. And yes, yes, you're right, Jessup.

I know that some of your counselors and even myself have been saying, you know, follow your barbarian instincts and don't be a wizard. It's not what you were meant to be. But you know what? I think I'm wrong about that. You should be whatever you'd like to be. If you want to be a wizard barbarian, that's fantastic. Do that. Why should we stand in the way of your dreams? This isn't a place that says no to dreams. We say yes, right? I've never... That's music to my ears. I still have a lot to work through with my rage and magic

and figuring out how to integrate the two sides of myself, but if I could take wizarding classes going forward and not the more brutal barbarian ones. I'd really like that. Absolutely. In fact, I will schedule a private lesson with Caleb Widogast to make sure that you have a proper spell book and all the components you need. You can do both.

You can sort of multi-class if you wish. It's not a bad idea. I was never a threat in lethal action, but now even less so. Batman. Yeah? Summon Archibald and see what he wants. Can I summon Archibald? Sure, quickly enough.

Archibald comes to life. Whoa. What is this place? Hey, buddy, I owe you one. Go ahead, ask this person what you want. Whoa. Is this what life is? Oh boy, he brought him back

with more questions. Oh, Archibald. You missed a lot. We're engaged in a legal settlement right now, so we're talking to the director of a camp that has engaged in some criminal negligence of minors. And so right now, we have a hat, a bunch of tea, some wizarding classes, a merit badge. What do you want, man? Free tuition

are all currently on the table for us. Is there anything you want? Archibald, you actually gave the most today, you died. I've never experienced true love. Oh, wow. All right, we might have to back that up. I've got a magazine I could give him. That's right!

Oh, look, can I see it? Here, Archibald, this will open your eyes. Whoa, Archibald uses his little frog legs to turn the pages until he gets to a particularly saucy bit and he says, This is true love. I'm going to need a few minutes. And he drags it away.

I don't think Archibald has the hardware to do anything in private with that magazine, but. For the next few minutes, you hear horrifying sounds coming out of the bathroom. Squeaky sounds, sort of like a sponge being squeezed. Well, this was a great decision. And after all is said and done, Veth gathers you all together and says,

we can't seem to have a normal day at camp, can we? But you know what? That's perfect. Normal is overrated, safety is boring, and insurance can go fuck itself. I am proud of the four of you. You didn't make good choices, you didn't make safe choices,

but you did live up to the spirit of the camp. You wilded out. And for that, I'm happy to award you with these friendship merit badges. Upon receiving these badges, the ogres have earned the rank of three below, can stay at the camp for free. Nice.

Advance to the next year. Oh yes, sorry. You also get my fucking hat. Hello? And your teeth. And my teeth! How am I going to wake up tomorrow? Fine, that's my problem, not yours.

Can I get a wild out? Three, two, one. Wild out! Thus ends our tale, a story of acting your age, which doesn't mean acting older or wiser or better. It means staying young as long as you can. I'd love to thank Ashley Johnson. It's Marisha something.

Marisha Ray. That's right. Ashley. Eden Regal, my sister. Liebe Barer, my sister. Brennan Lee Mulligan, my sister. Thank you all so much for watching. Oh, and thank you to Kael. I'm going to say his name wrong.

Lassibal? Lassibal? Kael? Kael, yeah. Yeah. He made this amazing map. It's so great. And those grills. He's probably standing there on the screen.

I think those grills are from Kyle's apartment or something. Oh my gosh. Oh my god. You got to get this back. Just borrow it. Yeah. I'll use these for today. Incredible.

I'm starving. Thanks to everyone who helped out with the music. Thanks to the kids again for coming up with these wonderful monsters that Yasha definitely drew. Yes. Love you all very much. Abstract. And until next time, is it Thursday yet?

Bye bye. Yay. Amid the hubbub, amid the excitement and the relief of this celebration of sorts, Veth steps away from the olgas for just a moment to just have a quick chat with Yasha and Beau. I, uh. Sup?

Sorry. No, really, this was quite fun, but I have notes. Oh. I hope we didn't let you down, by the way. Let me down? You did exactly right. I was sort of expecting you guys to mess stuff up a little bit and that they would be challenged.

It was very stressful. I was very nervous having the responsibility of the kids. But we talked about it and it was actually kind of cool. It was kind of invigorating. Yeah. So, I know that you two were talking about stuff, serious grown-up stuff before? Did you ever come to sort of a realization, a decision, something? I think, I think. We're still talking about it a lot, but we had an idea.

What if? Which one of you is gonna get pregnant first? Hold on a second. Is it you? Wait, wait, no, I don't know. I really wanna see you pregnant. The thing is, we are getting over it. I don't know. I really want to see you pregnant. Your abs would be like crazy.

Just be like an olive on a toothpick. And you would have like a 20 pound kid. Why? I don't know, you're big. That's not how it works. I'm small, I don't know. I know, just shut up for a second. Okay.

Listen. Look, I don't know. I know, just shut up for a second. Okay. Listen. Look, we talked about it. Yeah. We do think we want to take this plunge into parenthood. Yes! Yeah. But maybe we could start. We know that Kai doesn't really have a family

or anywhere to go. Yeah. Think he'd want to come live with us? I know he's old and he's basically an adult now, but. Like a foster sort of thing? Adoption? Yeah, like, you know, if he wants someone to... people to hang out with or take care of him for two years, we could provide that. Yeah, just a bed to crash.

You know? We could just try it out. Give him some good opportunities. Not try it out. Not like we would send him back or anything. We would take care of him. I love this idea. We can maybe just try it out. Give him some good opportunities. Not try it out, not like we would like send him back or anything. We would take care of him. We would take care of him. I love this idea. And then maybe, maybe he could be a big brother, you know?

Maybe he could be a big babe. Stay right here, stay right here for one second. I'll be right back. She's never coming back, is she? I don't think so. Okay. Oh, she's lying. He said no!

Oh! Okay. You know what? You know what? It's okay. We made a decision. Yeah. And, like, now we know we're ready. If the time comes.

Yeah. He's still taught us something. He did. Fast. He's still taught us something. You're welcome. You. You. You.

You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.

You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.

You. You. You. You. You. You. Hey there, Sam Riegel again. Wildemount Wildlings is officially over, and you campers have to say your teary goodbyes and head home. But remember, don't be sad that camp is over. Be happy that you survived all the dangerous adventuring trials. What was your favorite story from the camp so far? Consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice and let us and new listeners know what you loved about Wildemount Wildlings as it could help us recruit new adventuring souls. Thank you so much for listening to

Wildemount Wildlings. We hope we'll see you at camp again next summer. Bye-bye!