Daily Motivations - MONK MENTALITY

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

Speech by Tom Bilyeu Jay Shetty One Of The Best Speeches EVER kindly follow us on Instagram - @daily_motivationsorg Facebook- @daily_motivationsorg Please Kindly support this show  Support Us

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BidMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. The greatest power is to be self-controlled. To be able to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it and when you want it to be. You are completely detached and undeterred from external ups and downs. You're able to navigate anything that seems tough, challenging, fun, excitement with the same amount of being equipoised and balanced

and equanimity without being too excited in pleasure or being too depressed in pain of knowing how to navigate every situation to me that's great strength and great power What people don't know about me is that I was suspended from school three times for trying out all sorts of things, like things that people would never imagine of someone who goes on to be a monk I was experimenting with all the drugs in the world I had multiple relationships I was really trying to search for some sort of meaning fulfillment and as far as long as I've known I've been chasing thrill I really value thrill and feeling like

I did not see that coming yeah no. No, not many people do it It's very different from 14 to 18. I was like this kid who just wanted to try new things out and My parents rhetoric would always be well make sure you get good grades and I used to think well if I can be bad and get Good grades and then it's all works, right? Everyone's happy. So that's that's kind of what I did and At 18, I was really fortunate when I met a monk. And this monk was invited to speak. And I kind of just went because one of my friends forced me to. At that time, I was listening to CEOs and entrepreneurs

and business people and marketers who I thought that's what I was aspiring to be like. And then I hear this monk. And he captivated me like no one had ever captivated me before it was like staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet you know I was completely fixated on him and his message and that is the beginning without me going into too much detail before we probe that was the beginning of what changed me because I went from being someone who did only want all those things to become successful and trying to but I started hearing my own inner voice much more in all that

noise that I had around me I remember one of my my parents had a maths tutor for me because they wanted to be amazing at maths and I was I was pretty good at numbers and I'd have this tutor and he'd tell me that he goes the reason that you're struggling with the next question is because you're always worried about what your parents think. And that really stayed in my head. I was just like, wow. So as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think, I can actually never find the answers to the real questions of life. And there are all these little things happening. I lost two great friends when I was 16. One girl died in a car accident. One guy died because he was involved in drugs and violence. That made me rethink everything. I just thought to myself, wait a minute, these were beautiful people, people that I loved, people that, in my opinion, were good people. And I just lost them in a moment. And it was kind of like this collation of little things that just made me think, wait a minute,

having money, having fame, this, that just doesn't seem to add up. And then meeting the monk kind of made that shift possible. And as I said, he was completely captivating. And then I found out that he'd given up jobs in Google and Microsoft to be a monk. And I thought to myself, who does that? You know, he's given up everything that I'm

chasing and that all my friends are chasing, but he seems happier than anyone I've ever met before. And he spoke about this incredible principle where he said that we should plant trees under whose shade we do not plan to sit. And he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice. and that kind of just penetrated me right there when he said the words selfless sacrifice for the first time in my life I felt a thrill about something that I'd never felt before I thought wow giving up everything you have for the service of others sounds like the best thing you could possibly do and I don't know why I had that thought, because I wasn't a spiritual kid growing up.

I wasn't a religious kid growing up. I wasn't even a good kid growing up. I was just a rebel, a misfit, trying things out, an experimenter, which I still consider myself. And so what I started to do is I was interning at companies and firms and corporates thinking I was getting a grad job afterwards. And then I'd spend the rest of my summer holidays

interning in India, living with him as a monk. So I'd use all my summer and Christmas holidays to just be out there with the monks. And he introduced me to another 200 to 500 monks that were just like him, just as smart, just as bright, giving up everything they had and using all their skills to make the world a better place. I believe the moment was I was, I've always had friends who are older than me. And I could see a lot of them in the most successful careers, successful jobs, beautiful partners, whatever it was.

But I saw a sense of lack of fulfillment, meaning and purpose in their lives. And I've always been an observer and I would see these people who are like five years older than me, seven years older than me, maybe 10 years older than me. And I'd be watching them and go, is that the life I want? And often the advice I give to people today is fast forward where you are, look at yourself in 10, 15, 20 years time and ask yourself the question, is that where I want to be? If you're in a company, look at the person who's 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself the question, is that where I want to be? If you're in a company, look at the person who's 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself, is that where I want to be? If you're in a startup, look at where other startups have got to in similar roles and go,

is that where I want to be? And if the answer is no, then you need to find a new path. And for me, the answer at that time from observing was no. The path that my parents or society or the university I went to or the community I had that was carving out for me, it didn't feel like the path for me. So I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path. I was just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting powerful path as opposed to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road because that could have actually taken me down the wrong road. Because that could have been possible too.

So we wake up, he's like one of the most elite monks. So we're waking up at like 2 a.m. every day after sleeping at like 9 or 10 p.m. And then we study these ancient Vedas, which are 5,000 plus years old together. And we spend two hours. I'm studying with the best of the best here. So he can like analyze and assimilate.

And I'm learning fast, taking notes. Then 4 a.m. we go to collective meditation. We do those practices with the other monks as well. 6 a.m. we go to collective meditation. We do those practices with the other monks as well. 6 a.m. we have personal meditation. So I'm literally going through the life of a monk and falling in love with it step by step, going, wow, I've never had this experience before. I just threw myself in, and I was practicing it to the T.

It wasn't like, oh, no, my back hurts when I sit on the floor. I can't stay here for too long. Or today when people are like, oh, I can't meditate for longer than two minutes. I was like, no, I'm going to do it for two hours. If that's what they're doing, I'm going to give it a go. Because I can only test, the hypothesis will only be true if the experiment is carried out to the degree that they are. So the hypothesis is, if you live like this, you'll be happy, more fulfilled. Then I want to do that.

I think even one step before that is opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences. See, we live in echo chambers. We're just surrounded by the same thinking. How often do you bump into a monk? You know, it just doesn't happen. No one has a dinner party and goes, oh yeah, we just invited the monk from town, like the local monk. No one ever a dinner party and goes, oh yeah, we just invited the monk from town, like the local monk. No one ever does that. And so we meet people who are just like us most of the time.

And we talk about this in business all the time. If you want to be a billionaire, spend time with billionaires. If you want to be a millionaire, spend time with millionaires. If you want to be a tech startup, spend time with, you know, that's the common rhetoric that we hear all the time. But what if you want to find purpose and master the mind? There's no one better than a monk who's mastered the mind. So for me, the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models.

Because most of us can't see ourselves in people. So then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see. And I mean, there's this beautiful quote that I've been saying it everywhere and I wish I wrote it, but I didn't. So it's by a philosopher and writer named Cooley. And he said that today, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. And just let that blow your mind for a moment. It's so powerful. I'm not what I think I am what I think you think I am. And just let that blow your mind for a moment.

It's so powerful. I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves. Hence, my identity is made by what my parents think I should be. My identity is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve. While you're living in that bubble and that echo chamber,

getting to what you really wanna do is impossible because maybe that just doesn't fit. And I think so many people feel that way today, that they don't fit into the current education system. They don't fit with the three or four or five careers that you're taught exist. So that process of self excavation and actualization first incredible aura that people just gravitate towards but when you realize he has to wake up at 2 a.m. every day and sleeps about four to six hours you're like ah you know I

don't want to do that that doesn't sound like me. It's more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment. It is bringing that mindset into the real world where you get to test it. Now, I got to do that for real when I left being a monk around five years ago. And when I left, it was like, oh my God, I'm in the real world now again. Real world. I have to think about how to apply all this I'm gonna test for real all this stuff that I've learned and I was scared like I was nervous I was anxious and all those things that I've been trained not to be rushed back because for the first time in my life I had to really put it into practice

and I love that feeling I'm so glad that I had to do that. So for me, actually, the mindset is completely trainable to bring it into the real world. That's what I'm trying to do. And what it allows you to do is, it allows you to gain clarity and perspective when you need it. Because you know when you can just take a bird's eye view from something. You know when you need to get close into something.

You know when you need to get close into something you know when you need to pull back from something there's a beautiful verse in the bhagavad gita that says that detachment is not that you own nothing detachment is that nothing owns you and and i love it because to me that summarizes detachment in a way that it's not usually explained usually people see detachment as being away from everything actually the greatest detachment in a way that it's not usually explained. Usually people see detachment as being away from everything. Actually the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you. And that's real power, that's real strength. How many people do we know that have had fame

and then that fame has ruined them? So for me that definition of detachment is possible to practice even in the real world rather than saying oh i'm just gonna have a really simple life i'm just gonna have nothing in life the best part about being a monk is that your morning routine and practices are so powerful that you can actually aspire for more incredible values in life because your mind is clear because your mind is clear and you have that ability to have more clarity so you can seek that what is which is higher so i'll give an example of what i mean define is that what you're about to define what is higher yes exactly so for me

being able to overcome ego being able to overcome envy being able to overcome jealousy being able to overcome envy, being able to overcome jealousy, being able to overcome the negative of competitive state. There's a positive competitive state and there's a negative competitive state. Today, when people are looking on Instagram or Facebook or YouTube, all you're looking at is, oh, she got that many likes or he got that many likes. She got engaged or he got married or, oh, my God, look at her body or look at that. And it's like that stuff's destroying us inside. Envy, jealousy, ego, greed. To be able to have enough clarity to purify yourself of those things is going to alleviate the biggest anxieties and depressions of our time and mental health problems and and we know that we know that because all the

mental health research today suggests that things like isolation overexposure we now can have more pain consumption in one day because of what we're exposed to than the pain we would have had in a lifetime that's huge like that that's ridiculous to think that in one day because of the media news and social media we consume more negative than we did in a lifetime for me being able to have time energy and clarity to focus on self-purification that is the best thing about being a monk because you have that time reflection and a process and an environment that only allows you to

become more purified of those things. So an ideal life for me is a life and this applies to a company an organization an institution for me is an ideal life is when we all have a head a heart and a hand all three elements together working in alignment without one or the other we start to lose something. If you only have a head and a heart, you'll find that life is stable. So a head is the clarity of vision, what you want, knowing what you want, the way you picture life and being able to navigate and make the decisions to get there. That's a good head. A good heart is being able to understand what your intuition and heart wants, being able to connect and tap into that understanding deeper and beyond the vision you may have painted for yourself.

So I often say to people that you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined. And that's because the path that's paved up and down is far different to the path we pave. So you can have a great head and a great vision and a great mission and know where you want to go, but if your heart's not able to have that resilience and be able to adapt and have compassion and care and all of that, then you're not going to be able to make the toughest decisions without your heart. But to be able to realize that we need to care and be sustainable and long-lasting requires a heart. And a hand is that service, wanting to pass that on, that which you have, wanting to give it forward, pay it forward. The idea of serving with what you have. I often say

to people, your passion is for you, your purpose is for others. Your passion makes you happy, but when you use your passion to make a difference in someone else's life, that's a service, that's a purpose, and that's the hand. So those are my three elements of an ideal life. So I studied behavioral science at university, so I've always been fascinated by why people do what they do. And whenever I was reading these books that are 5,000 years old, my greatest fascination was finding a principle and finding its relevance in modern science. And I said to myself, the day I can't find that, I'll quit. I won't believe in this anymore.

So I'm still doing that, and I'm ready to quit. If someone shows me a piece of science and I can't find a principle in these ancient literatures, or actually what I like to call these timeless literatures, then I'll give up my faith because for me, it has to track forward. And I'll give you a really basic example. Today we're in the gratitude movement. There's like a million gratitude journals out there. There's a million scientific studies on gratitude and gratitude has been linked to better mental health, self-awareness, better relationships. I mean, there's so many scientific studies on the neuro level that shows that gratitude is great for your mind, brain and fulfillment. Now, I look back and gratitude is all over the timeless wisdom. One of the first things

we were trained to do when we were a monk was to pay our respects to the earth for what it gives us. And you do that first thing in the morning. What is that? If not gratitude, when you wake up in the morning, you thank the earth for the food. You thank the earth for the water. You thank the earth for allowing yourself to walk. start your day with gratitude today the biggest tip on forbes and inc and everything is start your day with gratitude like where does it come from it's it's right there these things are old so i i get fascinated i'm intrigued by the parallels and patterns because it saves you time it's the same way as which if i say that this business person got invested by this company and that's why they're successful because they had the right investors etc that's a pattern so I know

if I'm building a business in that area I'm gonna look for investors like that it's the same thing that pattern saves you time rather than you trying to figure out does gratitude work how shall I be grateful creating your own process almost the first answer I mean I'm a huge fan of the book Thinking Fast and Slow. I don't know if you've read it. Yeah, it's a great book because for me, it's got a really close pattern connection again to what I studied.

So just understanding system one and system two, if anyone watching hasn't read it, I highly recommend it. Just being able to differentiate between system one and system two, as Daniel Kahneman calls it in the vedic philosophy we call differentiating between the mind and the intelligence knowing how to differentiate the voices in your head is the first level of self-awareness so break down what system one and system two are absolutely so system one is your initial response to anything that happens

it's it's a stop that i can't really say so if you say something i don't like my system one naturally would be a face that i pull that i'm like i don't agree with that that's It's a stop that I can't really say. So if you say something I don't like, my system one naturally would be a face that I pull and I'm like, I don't agree with that. That's the understanding of what system one is. It's your initial default reaction in the moment. That can be positive often. For example, if someone pulls out a knife, you feel scared and you run. That's system one. That's a good thing. It's safe for you. But also system one is someone says something that hurts your ego and you start defending yourself immediately one that's a good thing it's it's safe for you but also system one is someone says something that hurts your ego and you start defending yourself immediately that's also that's a negative of system one that we would refer to as the mind it's built up of conditioning those responses are conditioned those default elements are all there because of habit and continuous practice the system two is more like the intelligence, what I would say

is more like the parent. If you can consider system one to be more like a child, system two is more like a parent. It looks more at the long term, it looks more at the bigger picture, it processes that default reaction through a set of checking and metrics to decide whether that's true. The child is the one that wants everything right away, impatient, quickly responding, straight away reacting when it doesn't get what it wants. The intelligent parent, a good one, knows what the child wants and needs and what's better for in the long term. Just starting there and being able to reflect and observe the different voices inside of us is a great place to start your self-awareness. Because the biggest challenge is that most of us don't know what we're listening to.

And most of us don't even know that there are more than one voice inside of us. Just getting over that line is a huge win. Because now at least you're trying to differentiate in what you're hearing and that's gonna help you make better decisions in the future so that was answer one the biggest challenge is that there's just so much noise it's like have you ever had someone in your home maybe it's your wife or maybe it's a friend or whatever just play a really bad song too often you just play a song and just think I'll turn that off and after a while it's your wife or maybe it's a friend or whatever just play a really bad song too often you just play a song and just think oh turn that off and after a while it's been on for so long

that you you become immune to it like it's just there and it's still on it's there in the back of your mind and you didn't manage to turn it off so the noise that i describe in life whether it's your parents expectations whether it's society's expectations whether it's your partner's expectations all of those are like noise in the background and that noise drowns out your ability to understand the mind and the intelligence that's one of the biggest trip ups i was looking at i gave a presentation called build a life not a resume it's also one of my popular videos but It's a very good video. Thank you, man. Thank you so much. And when I did the research, so you don't see this in the video because this research didn't make it into the video, but the research that I was doing was around the most common resume lies.

The truth is over 40 to 50% of us lie on our resumes. Yeah. If you don't, you're missing an opportunity. I'll just say that. Yeah, there you go. Right. So, and I started to dig deeper and I was looking at, you know, a lot of people lie about their dates of employment. So instead of three days, it's now three months, you know, whatever it may be. Now I dug deeper and I wanted to meet some of these people and speak to people. And so I spoke to people who lie on their resumes and we know that at least 40 to 50% tell us they do. No, the thing is no one was proud of that. No one, no one was like, yeah, I know I'm going to get. Really what it came down to is we're really insecure about our own abilities.

Really what it came down to is we're not confident about what we have to offer. What it came down to is a lack of self-awareness. What it came down to is a lack of understanding. What am I good at? What am I passionate about? What am I bringing to the table? That's what people were really worried about. They were worried about the job. But when you dug beneath the surface the real

behavioral trait that was coming out was insecurity and being unconfident about one's potential that that tells us a lot that indicates a lot about human behavior and human nature that the noise from outside makes us want to fit into a container and that stops us from differentiating between what is my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying and what happens is that noise becomes your voice so that noise becomes what you think is what you're saying and most people don't realize that until 10 20 30 years down the line we say this all the time but it applies mostly to this is switching your association is association to

the people that you hang out right it's like changing your circle because if you're only hearing the same thing from that circle the only way to turn it off without you having to do mass amounts of reflection is changing your circle where you start hearing we all ultimately find the things we want to hear right we know that know that. So for me, there was two questions that I had to ask myself that really changed what I do. One of my big questions is, what advice would I give to my younger self? It's huge because I think that's the stuff that we regret. That's the stuff that we wish we were doing. That's the stuff that has been lost in the noise. When you ask someone, what advice would you give to your younger self the number one answer is i wish i studied this i wish i tried this out i wish i gave this a go you know those are the all things that somebody

didn't do yeah it's all things that things people didn't do it's always like something that either should have cast started or didn't continue and that's really tapping into someone's voice right that's really tapping into what someone really wants to do. And you're going way beyond just like, oh, what do you like? What are you passionate about? So hard to answer that sometimes, especially if you're drowning. Does that add to your questions? No, it's really interesting. Now I need to know what your answer was. So I used to be, I used to do a lot of spoken word when I grew up. I read the dictionary. I read the thesaurus. I loved language. That's what I was

fascinated by. And for some reason, I gave it up. Then I found out about monk life, became a monk. And then almost back 10 years on at 28, I was going, I asked myself that question. And my answer was, I miss words. I miss expressiveness. I miss sharing a message and stories through incredible language and ideas, potential rhymes, but flow and all of these things. So that was the answer to my question. One of the biggest answers was, I wish I never stopped. So how do I find my passion? My simple model, which is the Dharma model.

Dharma means eternal duty in the Vedic tradition. It's very similar to what Ikigai is being spoken about today, which is a Japanese version of reason for being. Why do we live? Where is meaning coming from? And it talks about an intersect of four areas. What am I good at? What do I love? What does the world need? And how do I get paid for it? To me, those four help you unlock your passion. When you find the intersect across all of those four, you're making your passion your purpose. You'll unlock your passion, you'll find your purpose. This is path one. There's two paths. Path one, I find my skill set and I engage it to help other people and become better at it. So I'm becoming better at what I'm good at and I'm using it to help other

people because I'm aware of what I'm quite good at and I know what knowledge I have, what skills I have. I have some self-awareness. The other path that people often miss is actually I just start serving people. I just start serving people. I just start helping people and I start to notice what I enjoy about that and what I'm good at helping people with. So that's Gandhi's part. Gandhi said that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others. So for me, those are the two paths of how do I find my passion and finding the intersect between those four areas. Love that. And the second one is, Jay, my relationship's falling apart.

I get asked that all the time. So the answer to that is much harder. It's harder to summarize it, but I always start with self-actualization that the problem is we have a list for the one that we want and we don't have a list for what we need to become and I don't mean become to attract I mean become to just be to just get to understand yourself you don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are and so I find too many people rush into

relationships without really recognizing and being fully aware of what they need from a relationship so it all comes back to how aware are you? How much understanding do you have of yourself and what you need and what you want? That's my best advice for relationship in like a minute. And then the third question I mostly get asked is, Jay, what do you read? Like, what are your favorite books?

Because it seems you read a lot. What are your top three books? They're not groundbreaking in the sense that people may not be like, oh my God, that's the best book I've ever read. For me, they changed my life. So that's where I'm coming at a point from. I love Start With Why by Simon Sinek. And not because I applied it to businesses,

because I applied it to my life. And even today, I'm constantly refining my why. That's all I do every day. My deepest morning routine and practice is to refine why I do what I do. It's so easy for me to now do it for money. It's so easy for me to now do it for followers. It's so easy for me to now do it for fame. And every day I have to refine that because I know having lived as a monk and what I practice, that if those become what I want, then I'll forget who I need to be. So my daily practice and my daily routine

is refining my intention, which in modern language is why. So for me, Simon's book helped me do that. The Bhagavad Gita, which I would love to do for Vedic knowledge, what Ryan's done for Stoicism. And the Bhagavad Gita over 5,000 years old and that book really exemplifies human challenge third book I'd say this one's

gonna be hard because it's the last one let me think I'm gonna try throw something else in there so I've done one like self development one more spiritual enlightenment let me throw a business book in, seeing as I'm sure you have a lot of business viewers. I love the book Exponential Organizations. I don't know if you've read it. It's by Salim Ismail and the Singularity University. And that book for me is an incredible analysis of the success of all the organizations that we see ruling our phone today. The way it breaks down their business models and how they were created, to me, it's fascinating. So if anyone really wants to

start up an exponential business today, then that's where they have to go. And that's when Peter Diamandis said that if you want to be a billionaire, redefining it is someone who impacts the lives of a billion people. And that's what that business book is really about is how do you create an exponential organization that positively impacts a billion people so those are my three for today What is your message to the world? no one remembers his career. We're talking about one of the best athletes of all time. Your environment is the environment around you. You can take a fish out of water and give it a beautiful mansion and a Bentley and all the money in the world, but it will die. And that's what we are, like our environment. Everyone needs an environment which they thrive, which we have to craft. Your boss, if you're at work, is never going to ask you, hey, what environment do you succeed in, right? Like that never happens. So we have to create an environment where we thrive. And then finally,

it's energy. We, some of us love high energy environments, high pressure. Some of us succeed in low energy environments and low pressure. Figuring out your energy and the frequency on which you operate best will help you thrive as well. So for me, those are the three E's to really create a thriving environment. Know your element, know your environment and know your energy. And so at all times, if I see anything going wrong, I'm going, is my element out of alignment? Is my environment out of alignment or is my energy out of alignment? And that's a great three question test you can do to yourself when you don't think things are going right.

And all you have to do is bring that back into alignment. I love that. All right. What's the impact that you want to have on the world? I think you've said it so beautifully so many times and shared my vision, which is wonderful. And it's wonderful to know that we share the same thing. It's making wisdom go viral. There's an incredible study in 2017 that said the most successful people in the world, healthy, wealthy, and wise, choose education over entertainment. The impact I want to have from the world is I want to transform and revolutionize the entertainment industry so that it becomes educational without anyone knowing.

So it's still completely entertaining. It's still like watching Netflix, but you're learning about human behavior, the mind, neuroscience, and everything without even knowing you are. To me, that's the greatest win that we can have for our society. How many people are going to quit watching Netflix and reading a book every night? I don't know. But if we can make that book come to life on Netflix, that's gonna change the world, because that's what people are gonna consume. So for so long, media has been used to numb people,

to switch people off. If we can use it to excite, elevate, enlighten people, not by just, not by like the cheesy way of like, oh, let's follow someone through their journey of enlightenment, it's not like follow someone through their journey of enlightenment. It's not like that kind of stuff. I mean, like really entertaining programming where you can learn by being entertained at the same time. If I can do that by changing the most powerful industry in the world, then I will feel that I've had some, some, whatever, an impact.

Because that way I think we'll reach the world without having to get everyone to change their habits too much. My thing is how do we meet people where they are and really deliver a message and a powerful expression of love? And to me, that's the highest form of compassion. The highest form of empathy, love and compassion is to meet people where they already are rather than expecting them to change. And yeah, that's the impact I'd like to have on the world.

So fingers crossed, with your help, with the help of everyone who's watching, you know, it's going to be a team effort. I can't do it on my own, I'm not expecting to. But yeah, that's the impact I'd like to have on the world. Thank you.