Daily Motivations - SELF LOVE

Episode Date: November 2, 2024

This Episode is Sponsored by Luxy ready to meet people who share your drive, ambition, and taste for the finer things in life, check out Luxy. Download the app today, and experience a new standard in dating." https://luxy.onelink.me/Ipdm/nea2o0n9 Speakers: Tyrese Gibson Les Brown Oprah Winfrey Mel Robbins Brendon Burchard Luoise Hay Iyanla Vanzat Joe Rogan David Goggins Gary Vee

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Luxie, where high standards lead to real connections. Their link is in the show note below. So, how much do you love yourself? Because if you understand the value of self-love, you'll never be friends with those type of people. Most of the people out here are running around empty. They have no sense of self, no sense of self-love. When I say self-love, it has nothing to do with celebrity, money, materialistic things

and all of the things that your negative mind could probably go to. Has nothing to do with self-love, has nothing to do with looks, nothing to do with cars and any of the superficial things that one would assume that could make you love yourself even more. It's a matter of knowing your value. It's a matter of you saying, I don't have to be around these people in these type of environments and situations in order for me to finally see the value in myself I love me independent of you loving me I believe in me I know my self-worth I am here and I have a purpose there is no value and having wisdom, knowledge, insight, spirituality, love. Every day I am a work in progress. A person who can forgive nothing is a person who's totally destroyed psychologically and emotionally.

Forgive your parents. Forgive any relationship that you ever had that didn't work out. Forgive everyone else in your life that has ever hurt you in any way. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. I think for myself, and I know many of you, you think forgiving means accepting what has happened to you. Well, it is accepting that it has happened to you well it is accepting that it has happened to you not accepting that it was okay for it to

happen it is accepting that it has happened and now what do I do about it forgiving is giving up the hope not not holding on, hoping, wishing that it could have been any other way than it actually was. Giving up the hope that the past could be any different. And when I got that, I think it took me to the next level of being a better person because I don't hold grudges for anything or any situation and neither should you. It's letting go so that the past does not hold you prisoner, does not hold you hostage.

See, life is cyclic. You're not, whatever experience you're having right now, it has not come to stay. It has come to pass. Not to stay, just to pass. It's just going through. The biggest challenge is to know what's happening. This is a part of this thing we call life. This too shall pass.

And maintaining perspective, putting it in perspective. You have to be willing to break from the past to have the future you so desperately desire. You have to have the courage to allow yourself to honor the past as it was, to forgive those who need to be forgiven, to forgive yourself, and to acknowledge that everything led you to this point now, everything.

Let it go and begin to focus on developing myself. And I say to you, you're gonna to have people to do things to you. Things are going to happen to you. And the most important thing to do is to harness your will and let it go and move so you can grow, so you can get on with your life. It doesn't matter about what happens to you. What matters is what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do now, Les?

But if you want to begin to move into your own personal greatness, if you want to begin to really enjoy a happy, successful, healthy life, you've got to be willing to go against the tide. You've got to be willing to harness your will. So as you're in the process of reinventing your life, write a description of the kind of person that you want to be. What are the things that you must overcome? What qualities about your personality you know that you're going to have to change because those particular characteristics are liabilities to you? What are your assets? What are your strong points? Look at and evaluating yourself to make that determination. Other thing is that in order to get out of a rut, we need

some coaching. Find some trusted critics. People that you know care about you love you says some things that keeps us from growing and getting out of ruts number one we identify with feedback we take it personal when someone want to give us some feedback on where we are falling short and tell us about our blind spots we want to have everything being positive about us. We're not perfect. It hurts. I have a friend who's a trusted critic. I don't like him, but I love him.

He doesn't tell me the things I want to hear. He tells me what I need to hear so I can grow. It hurts. It hurts when he puts me on the hot seat. I can't stand it. But that's the only way that I can grow. And I'm glad that he loves me enough to risk our friendship to tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. High performers are not dissatisfied strivers.

They're not. They're happy. High performers are happier dissatisfied strivers. They're not. They're happy. High performers are happier than their peers. We all believe that to get the top, it's going to be lonely at the top, and we all believe you have to grind and kill yourself to get there. And that's completely wrong, and the data proves it worldwide, which is, I think, just overcoming a lot of people's biases about how you work today, because right now, especially today, like, you know, grind on social media is so popular.

Or hustle. Or hustle. And by the way, none of the top 15% of high performers worldwide identify with those words. They literally don't. We asked them. We did a whole keyword analysis. Yep. This was actually pretty cool.

And high performers explicitly say, these are the three driving feelings. If we said there was a high performance state, it's driven from these three things. Number one, full engagement. Yes. Number two, joy. Yes. And number three, confidence.

Yes. That's what they relate with, okay? That's where it's coming from. It's a joyous journey, not a dissatisfied one. And I had this conversation in the book because, I kind of conversation in the book because, I kind of maybe frame it this way. Each of these chapters opens with a vignette of somebody I worked with or a situation that I was in that demonstrated high performance. In this particular

situation, I'm walking on stage, thousands of people after a very famous musician was out there and was telling the audience that that person's secret to success, remember thousands of people, their secret to that person, their whole speech, their secret to success was never settle. Never settle. Nothing is enough. Never settle. And never be satisfied. Never be satisfied.

Always demand more. And I'm like, oh, my second slide, which was going to be on Jumbotrons in like 80 point text, was strive satisfied. I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to dispel this for all these thousands of people. I was totally freaked out. Yeah. But what I had to explain to people was not only the data, but it's this. If you're never satisfied, I mean, is it true that life is precious?

If it's true that life is precious and you could be gone tomorrow, do you really want to think, you know what, I just never felt fulfilled? I never allowed myself to have a moment of credit. I never allowed myself to have a moment of peace. I never allowed myself to look at that and say, good job. That's not the way to live life.

I think just at a spiritual level it's a bad move and this book doesn't really go into a lot of that. It's more about the science and the heart stuff. But I think it's really important that people realize your job is to strive satisfied. And if you strive satisfied more often, you will be more of a high performer. And if you never give yourself credit, you're always beating up on yourself, you're always thinking that's not perfect enough, then what's going to happen?

Dissatisfied people burn out and they quit more often than satisfied strivers. So take joy in the moment. Engage with what you're doing. Allow credit and satisfaction and joy to come in. You can always be improving. Of course. But be proving, be improving joyfully. Yes. And if you're improving joyfully, then you're learning, you feel curious, you feel engaged. The joy is there. You'll get more confident because you're like, I'm going to learn through this anyway. This can be great because you know, this, this thing is all over social media right now.

Like, you know, grind, work, whatever. And I'm like, it's just, it's popular. And I see why that happens. And I see why it's catchy. It's just not scientifically valid. Stop scaring yourself. How often do you terrorize yourself with your own thoughts? You get into absolute terror, and it's only coming from your thoughts.

Nobody out there is doing a thing. Sometimes it's an old family pattern. Sometimes we get new things. I would like people, when you have time, to make a list of your fears. Make a list of your fears and then give yourself the opportunity to turn each fear into a positive affirmation. Turn each one into something positive. And and remember always you are in charge you are always in charge see one idle thought doesn't make a whole lot of difference

thoughts are like drops of water you drop a drop of water and it doesn't mean much but if you keep dropping and keep dropping you get a puddle on the floor and then you can get a little pond and a lake and finally you can create an ocean and with our own thoughts we can drown in a sea of negativity or we can float on the ocean of life and it's up to us the thoughts we think accumulate and what sort of puddles are you standing in or are you up to here or are you up to here and trying to paddle now what are you doing to yourself when we're willing to change our thinking we can change our experiences and it doesn't matter if you've got a

big puddle of negative thoughts you know you can move over here and create a puddle of mindfulness positive thoughts you can make changes always so you want to turn those fear thoughts into positive affirmations let them work for you Let them work for you. When we think we are unworthy, it means that for some reason we believe that we have to prove we have a right to our space on the planet, in life as we are, being who we are. And that means that we will do all manner of wonderfulness to prove we deserve to be here.

And usually, some of the common things are, we overcommit, overgive, we overdo, we over excuse, we overdo, we over excuse, we overcompensate, and we stay in difficult, desperate, hurtful, harmful situations much longer than it is wise or productive to do so. Worth, what it is that you expect from the world in response to who you are. It's very different from value.

Self-value means how you hold yourself within yourself and what you expect as a result. Now, in order to get to the worth, if you're not holding yourself within yourself as worthy, then what you expect from the world is surely going to hurt you. thing that's bothering you, that you're thinking about. For some people especially, they're just experiencing way too much pressure. And that pressure, a lot of times, it's just an imbalance in perspective. And discipline is a matter of the imposition of order. And the order is necessary, especially for people who are hopeless and nihilistic. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life. And the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great.

Most people do it for survival. Each time we need to feed our families, we need to survive, it's our career, okay we have to do it. But to wake up with you know my feet and my fingers tingling and say wow I have this to do, I have that to do today and it's an amazing feeling and I don't take it for granted. You're going to have a hard time thinking about all the options and you're gonna be really attached emotionally. So all of us know that. I can get over here but over here man this is much better because I gotta go through this journey that is not fun. This from 20 to 100 percent, this shit in between is not fun. Discomfort is your friend. It really is. Like discomfort and not being happy and content

with certain situations in life, with certain feelings in life. They're massive, massive motivators and they're amazing at facilitating change. Everything else is secondary. Were the words, stay stay hungry stay foolish it was their farewell message as they signed off stay hungry stay foolish and I have always wished that well it is scary I will always say that you know

especially business because it's a very scary place to be in it changes it goes ups and it has so many ups and downs. To be successful, you have to be able to walk away from a deal. You have to. If you want it bad enough, then people are going to give it to you at patterns, you know? If you think it sucks, but it's bad, you have losing pessimistic DNA. And if you think it's awesome and phenomenal, you have optimistic winning DNA. And I believe that to be true.

And so that's where we're at. That's why people got to understand what is in us. We have no idea until we start trying hard. Is it as enjoyable as it can be? And we all know that there's a spectrum for that enjoyability. Like we've all had times in our life where it's not been so great. And then times in our life where everything came together like, what a f***ing great day. Woo!

Like, make more of those. And the discipline part, you don't hear a lot about. That's the things people do when nobody else sees. That's when you win.