Daisie Dates - EP1 Help, I'm Dating a Colleague!

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

In the first ever episode of Daisie Dates Podcast, Daisie & Sharn delve into dating people at work.  When Daisie and Sharn, they were both dating lads that they worked with.  They gossiped about their situations - and where Daisie was very much at the end of her situationship, Sharn's dating journey with her colleague was just getting started!   In this episode, we chat about our experiences - probably overshare and reflect on how we would deal with the situation differently next time...  We also share some messages we received from the Daisie Dates Facebook group from other peoples' experiences dating a co-worker. We would love to hear your thoughts  - are you pro dating at work or is it a total no go?! We would love to hear from you! Give us a DM, Insta:  @daisiedatespodcast TikTok: @daisiedatespodcast [e-mail] Listen on Spotify, Amazon, Google, Apple and YouTube!  Daisie xo

Hello and welcome to the Daisy Dates podcast where we discuss all things dating first, maybe some lasts and probably some heartbreak as well. We're going to overshare, let's face it. I'm Daisy. And I'm Sian. And well, this is our first episode so maybe you could get to know us a little bit better. I know, we're very excited. You will and of course we want to get to know you as well.

So we're just going to ask each other a few questions that you can kind of get an inclination into our personalities. Yes, we tried to find ones that we thought you'd want to know about people that you didn't know yet. So a little bit juicy. I'm going for you first. All right, OK. I feel quite nasty.

I'm asking you today, Sian, what you think your red flag is. OK, so... Out in myself. So my red flag is probably oversharing okay um and like oversharing about my sex life with boys that i've just met do you swear oh i'm all i'm awful uh oversharing about family stuff that maybe my family wouldn't want a random boy that i'm never going to see again after a day I'm an overshare rat red flag it's it's fine yeah no it's hard though sometimes when you feel comfortable but then when they disappear off the face of the earth it's really annoying sometimes I'm not comfortable I just maybe it's a nervous thing I just like to share my life I like people to understand me I think it's when you're a personable person it's not always a bad thing

but I'm trying to be better at not telling every random everything about myself literally men like mystery don't they they like mystery and not to know every sexual encounter that you've ever had in your life red flag red flag okay so my red flag what would be a green flag that you look for in a partner or in a boy when dating? Right. That is so easy for me, to be honest. It's being a really good communicator. Yeah. You know, I talk for a living. I can totally express my feelings. I have no problem doing it. So I really need a guy that is really able to do that. That if they can talk and you can discuss problems,

then I think you can always get through stuff in life generally. Hopefully. I think that's something you more think about as you get older. Yeah. I didn't care about communication when I was younger. When I got into my late 20s, I'm like, I need him to be able to sit and talk to me. I was like, green flag, six pack.

Well, that's still it now. I mean, that's still a red flag. I mean, green flag, six pack. Well, that's still it now, but... I mean, that's still a red flag. I mean, green flag. Okay, how do you think your friends would describe you? Maybe in three words. Okay, three words. Funnig. My personality trait is funnig, I hope.

Funnig. Kind. Confrontational, maybe, a little bit. Okay, I don't think that's a totally bad thing though i'd say i'm yeah confrontational or like i like a good debate yeah more than like i'm about to fight you for no reason more like i just like a bit of a debate would you debate on a first date yeah i love a debate on the first day talking about my red flag for somebody else it's someone that agrees with everything that i say hate it that's a red flag yeah fair enough red flag so yeah um maybe a little bit confrontational okay so i did my red flag for me yeah so i want to know

what would be an ick that you do that maybe a boy would find as an ick so I hate all things like bad habits um so I like to think that I don't really have any like if someone's biting their nails in front of me I'm gonna stop so I don't do anything like that but I gave myself the ick the other day oh I was at the gym and I was like if a guy was doing this massive ick so I was doing the lap machines and working on my back at the minute uh for Bali and oh I couldn't reach the the the top to kind of change the bar so I needed the long bar and it was just a handle. Now he's a short girl um yeah short queen five foot three and so I asked the guy next to me unfortunately like if if he was like my type that would have been a great kind of chat

like he wasn't I was genuinely asking for help so he gets up and helps me then he's stumbling he can't quite reach he's like hold on I'll just hold the handle and then you click it on and I'm like missing the hook where it clicks on and you know when you're like this is so I said should it be this hard and he was going probably not no probably shouldn't take two people and I was like no she told me this story just before we got on it was literally like a 30 second story she didn't say he was struggling that makes was struggling it was just two people kicking out together was he short i don't know i think he did say i'm not much taller than you but i don't because i'm so short i don't see height in guys as much as some girls just in my head i'm seeing these two little short people that are just like trying to reach

someone's like someone go and help those two over there yeah I icked out and I was like this is where it's so double standard isn't it because I was doing that I was like why can't he just do it all smoothly but that was me um so I think that would have given me the ick for sure yeah what a new ick you've got there yeah niche ick um what would you say would be like your ideal date ideal first date oh it's hard it's changed you know back in the day i used to say see love center otters are my favorite animals and i think i just used to think it was cute if a boy would take me to see the others um no way yes i would always say i'm full of surprises um i'll you say see lost center but you know and everyone always says to me like you need more from a date but i really like a drive i like a drive a chill if i

could pick and it was like romantic i'd like to go somewhere where i could see the sunset love a sunset love a sunrise get a pizza in the back of the car if it was like a truck even better yeah you know those big ones we've got the back on that you could just put like blankets on and stuff yeah get yourself a tradie girl yeah if you're saying like dream like that would be it like i just like a little drive and talking and the sun's going down and that'll be mine what would be yours yeah that's lovely that's where like living in wales or something would just be beautiful um i think i like to cut it back if a guy goes too posh on a first date that can give me the ick a little bit like i don't need something fancy on the first day we're getting to know each other and I also think if you can do that for every girl it's not special anyway so unfortunately I didn't like the guy at the time

but actually it would have been a great date if I did he he took me for a picnic nice that's similar to my vibe actually he gave me the ick because he had made himself real quick he'd made homemade quesadillas quesadillas quesadillas that's it yeah and uh they were obviously like a bit cold but he'd made them like he was a gym boy so he was like i've made like chicken crystal uh all healthy and they were like wrapped up in tissue and yeah he bought he did buy me like a little alcoholic wine it sounds cute it was i tried you know what he's got a lovely girlfriend now and they look really happy and I'm like you know what he deserved it because he put in a lot of effort he just wasn't for me but I think that kind of day he chose a really nice viewpoint um this is the ick this is the ick he bought he asked

my size shoe before the day by text and I thought that we were going to go bowling and I said look mate I'm really mate I'm really not I'm really not down for bowling if it's that kind of vibe um I get there he's bought next plimsolls in a size four because he didn't he wanted it to be such a surprise that he didn't know what shoes I'd turn up in so in case I turned up in heels he he he had plimsolls for me to walk to this viewpoint in a park in Leeds because I was living in Leeds at the time and I was like that's a little bit psycho isn't it? I don't know I'm really struggling about whether that's cute

or not like he was really stressed that you wouldn't have the right shoes but like you just tell her to wear you're not giving away a picnic if you just say by the way don't wear heels yeah exactly and what colour were they? White plimsollies you know white plimsolls you know the

plimsolly plimsolly types oh no i think it was cute i don't know if it did you put them on no i just snorted over the mic i did not put them on no way did i i don't know if i would have thought that was an egg i'd say oh bless your but i'm all right honestly i'm, I'm finding my stilettos. Well, this is why there's someone for everyone. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that girl wore those plumesoles and she got those quesadillas and she got her man.

Yeah, she looks like she's going to have a ring on that finger soon as well. So who's the real winner here? You know what? Yeah, I'd say a picnic. Maybe don't cook your own quesadillas. Maybe just bring like some snacks. Or wrap them in foil.

Yeah. Tissue isn't the vibe. I'll bring the wine. You bring some like little M&S hummus bits. I don't know. But yeah, I think a nice picnic, which we don't get the privilege of necessarily in England with the weather, but that's the vibe, I think.

Cute. Yeah, similar to mine. I like that. Okay. Well, I think you've gotten to know us a little bit yeah did you enjoy that yeah that was we went on a tangent which I'm sure is going to happen loads in this series um so episode one was an easy decision for us wasn't it yes this is dating people at work colleagues and this is because we were both dating people when we met so myself and

Char met at a work event and we obviously bonded over dating as you do and we both realized we're both dating guys from work yes and I am a social media manager videographer and that's my job so the boy that I started to see I had to film him which is very intimate and when I told Daisy she was like no the boy that I've just ended it with is a videographer that has to film me at work and I was like oh my goodness yeah she's foreshadowing my future literally so you had to see this guy on camera and I always felt for the guy having to film me really I mean I loved it when we were dating when we weren't I was like this is so awkward but I guess the thing is I never understood how people met at work like you often see and in my Daisy Dates Facebook group as well people often say

like I have a crush but how do you know if it's reciprocated and how awkward is it if it isn't reciprocated and then you ruin that vibe so I looked back on my experience and how it happened and I guess it was set up in a way okay we'd always had a kind of flirtatious um like friendship I guess he always had a girlfriend so it was never across the line at all it always got quite flirtatious on set anyway I'll be working with a lot of guy cameramen it was all just a little bit of fun we never had each other's number or anything obviously and I was always single so he knew everything about my date in life how I will be oversharing on this podcast he and all of my colleagues they hear it all do you know what I

mean so he knew the ins and outs which is why when he became single I never thought he'd like me because again he knew every experience of mine and sometimes I think they can find that a little bit off-putting um but a girl at work texts me like he's single by the way so I thought you know what I'm just gonna dm him and it took him a while to let me know but eventually he at work texted me like he's single by the way so I thought you know what I'm just gonna dm him and it took him a while to let me know but eventually he was dming me I was like you probably shouldn't be talking to me like that if we're in a relationship obviously I knew he was single uh so I just nudged him along to tell me that he was single many times he was like oh I'm actually single and I was like oh and then he like, I hate messaging on Instagram. You should just really have my number.

And that's how it started. So it was fun. It started in a fun way. It was weird. I don't know if we ever would have had the conversation if our friend didn't say, by the way, he's single and let me know. But how did yours start? So mine was a little bit easier.

He's a musician and I work in events and we'd actually work together which is I don't think he even knows but I know because I can look through the content that we work together not to stalk him but I was just looking for a show reel and I found them and I was like oh we've actually met before so we had seen each other a few times at an event and it was in December we had a Christmas event and we had an after party like a mini little after party after the event and I remember looking at the band and I knew the band but I hadn't recognized him and I looked and I thought oh he's he's a bit of me and that was it I left and I followed him on Instagram and when I followed him it looked like he had a girlfriend like yours I thought oh he's got a girlfriend leave it forget it and then um in February so

it's a while had passed we had a party coming up in about a week so I was going to see him in a week and I knew that and I was on bumble swiping away and then he comes yeah he's up so I'm like maybe he hasn't got a girlfriend so I went on to his Instagram looked at the date and it was like a year ago and I was like okay I didn't he obviously hasn't got a girlfriend, so I thought this is embarrassing to admit but he knows it so it's fine. I thought, let me just see if he matches Meg. I'm not going to speak to him on Bumble, we work together, it's very awkward

I've seen him in a week but let me just see if we match. Matched him and I was like, oh that means he fancies me too and then I unmatched him immediately. Unmatched him immediately. The games, Sian, the games. Well, I thought if you think about it,

it only comes up saying one new match on the screen. It doesn't say Sian is matched you. Yeah. So I just thought he'll never know. He'll just go on. He'll think that I was glitched. And really it was me the whole time. But then we saw each other at the party a week later

and he complimented me. I was working on the door and he complimented me. I thought that's weird because we don't even know each other we don't speak uh the party was fine and then we had another after party and I could tell he was trying to talk to me I could tell he was following me about and I was so drunk and I messaged my friends being like oh that boy that I unmatched on bumble he's like following me about and I feel really awkward I get I get awkward sometimes sometimes I'm confident sometimes I'm not and then he asked me if he could pull me for a chat oh love island vibes he was like can you pull me for a chat can you come for a chat i was like yeah and he's like why did you unmatch me on bumble busted i was immediately busted inspector gadget was on bumble and he he he saw he was on

it live like watching it pan out he saw saw it. He went to message me. It disappeared. He knew it was Meg. But it was easy for us to know that we both fancied each other because we both matched each other on Bumble. So then who kind of initially made that first move? Was it you? Well, because he had asked me and pulled me for the chat,

I feel like he, and he said to me afterwards, he was like, I manifested that I was going to speak to you that night that i got to the party love a man into manifestation i manifest speaking to you and i was like hon i also did my own manifesting okay i knew i was going to speak to you at the party as well so i think we were both just on the same vibe we both just wanted to speak to each other and then you know like if i wasn't drunk it probably we might have just messaged afterwards and gone on a date. But no judgment here on the podcast. It's a judgment-free zone. It's a judgment-free zone.

Okay, guys. I was drunk. It was exciting. I'm dating. I was single for a while. What are you going to tell us? One thing led to another. And that night, we slept together.

Oh, that's fine. I don't know what you were going to say. That's fine. Girl, you've got to do what you've got to do. Yeah, we slept together that night and it was all very accelerated. And I had a hotel room and it was all very accelerated, which did mean that I had to bring him downstairs the next day in front of my clients and in front of my colleagues.

And this is what makes awkward about work because all of my colleagues were downstairs. He didn't have a hotel room. I did. So it was obvious that we had stayed together. So then from there, we started speaking. And I was seeing him the following week. And we went out there again.

We kissed a lot. It was all very much a bubble. We kissed a lot. Out of everybody I've dated, I think he's the person I've kissed most. Because we kissed so much. There was no talking now that I look back it wasn't much talking it was just a lot of kissing yeah um so it was all just very accelerated because of that first night and then it happened again the week after and then

we went on a proper date um but now that I think back to it 90% of the time we were both drunk you're living a parallel really you were living a parallel to what I had because I was also in a hotel with work a lot of the time so that automatically accelerates it because it's exciting not being in your own environment it feels like a holiday doesn't it exactly and what is interesting about dating people at work is I knew a completely different person and so what who I thought I knew as a friend, a shy, lovely, kind boy. I'm not saying he's not kind, but I did think he was this shy, really kind of empathetic person, which isn't the person I ended up dating.

He was sensitive, but in the end, how he kind of treated me and stuff, it was a very different person. And also in the other way of like the photos he was asking of me and things that he was sending and I just had never obviously because he was a colleague seen that side to him ever so that's what's weird about dating people at work that you think that you can kind of know people at work and be their friend but actually to date they're a completely different person so where for years right I've kind of filmed with him and been like I was such a nice boy like all the nice boys are taken and then obviously when he wasn't and it was my chance to date him I said to my friends like that guy always said like it's such a nice boy and we get on so well if only he was single he's single but actually I got the chance

to date him and it wasn't what I thought it was gonna be because and and like he's great for someone else but like the personality that was there and you know the things that he wanted to say by text like it wasn't my vibe we were doing long distance so if someone wants to get a little bit explicit on the phone by text I get it but we didn't know each other well enough in a dating sense we went so he tried to make it so quick from friendship to that. And it was like a, you know, we didn't change gear enough. It went too quick. But do you genuinely think that like, it could have gone, at the time, did you feel like it really could have gone somewhere?

Or did it feel different because of work or? Yeah, it's such a hard question because in hindsight, which is beautiful, obviously, in hindsight, I'm like, it was just a stopgap for him single until he found his way. And I think maybe it was a bit of a time filler for both of us over Christmas. I wasn't sure on him the whole time. I was like, I don't know if he's my one. But then how do you ever know? For him particularly, something that he said that I would, at the time, I was like, is this a red flag?

He said, at least this will make work exciting. something that he said that I would at the time I was like is this a red flag he said um oh at least this will make work exciting and at the time I was just to make his time exciting until he left which luckily he did leave so I don't have to work yeah um which I had to assure my director I was like I promise you he hasn't left because of me like it was always which they knew but um yeah there was that like is it how do you decipher that it's a true connection or whether it is just fun at work because we spend so much time with people at work yeah that that can really get lost in the mix and I do think it did for me I did like him and I was really hurt but I guess no I didn't really think we would be long term based on our personality

differences I was I'm very strong and I don't't know, I'm just very strong and upfront, confrontational. I guess I'm sensitive in the way that if someone ghosts me or hurts me, I'm sensitive. But I'm not sensitive day to day. Someone can make a joke about me and I'm absolutely ground with it. Whereas he was the opposite. It's just that you thought you were going to be dating somebody else based off what you already knew about him. Yeah, and that's what's different. You know, you can pine over people as well.

Even when you see people, I don't know, in a bar, you might keep seeing out, they're not giving you the time of day and you're like, oh, I really like that person. Sometimes I remind myself, you know what? Expectation versus reality sometimes, true. Yeah, exactly, yeah. See, for Meg, I was a complete parallel to what you were going through. So I actually felt like he never really got to know Meg

because I was constantly in work mode even while staying in here. Because I was conscious of the fact that we had to work together in the future. And if it did end, then he could tell people at work deep stuff about me. I didn't want to go too deep. To be fair, he's a business owner. He has a business. And there was scope to work together in the future And I thought if it ended I don't want to ruin the relationship

That we could work together Like collaborate on something So I felt like when it Ended I wasn't And rejection is a big thing for me So I don't like to be rejected it's like a phobia But it was the first time I was ever The way it ended was very kind of

Mutual he didn't know he thought we was on the same page we were literally in different books so I don't know where he was going with that one but he literally was like I feel like we're taking the next step I was like oh I feel like we are casually dating and I mean we've been drunk 90% of the time how can you class that as dating dating

that is casually dating maybe you shot yourself in the foot though a little bit do you know what I mean because he thought he's taking the next step and i thought we were just yeah you kind of did like him in the end didn't you no no no no i don't think and i don't live my life in a way that's like yeah okay this is gonna be my partner and he seemed to he was like i feel like it's kind of taking the next step now and i was like oh hold on i'm just taking it as this is what is gonna be so ironic though because i'm looking for that person that can be like,

yes, I can see you as my... And then there's people going around like you that are just like, no, get out of my face. She said it. I was a bit blindsided. I was like, we're taking the next step, are we? Because I thought that we were slow, steady and drunk. Like that.

So when it ended, I thought, you know what? That's not... I can't take that as a rejection because he didn't get to know Meg and I don't know whether I thought you know what That's not I can't take that as a rejection Because he didn't get to know Meg And I don't know whether I got to know him Because the Sharni he met Was a very much work Sharni He did not see me in any sort of deep level

He really only got to know me at work Very happy Very business woman I'm happy And seeing nothing else Because I live every day Day to day That's how I live my life

I just thought This might end This is casual I might work with him in the future let's keep this a bit chill he doesn't need to know think about me and I do think that's where dating at work can be hard because there's automatically a bar yes um but then there's the other side that can be really fun so I was adamant that we didn't tell anyone okay no one knew no one knew and there's that added bit of fun when no one knows.

Because there was a time when we were all filming and I think someone made a little bit of an innuendo to me. And I think there was a time where someone was like, oh, have you seen the new guy? He's fit, Daisy. He'll do well for you. And like, oh, you should ask him out. Because no one knew that I was dating the guy right in front of us. So that was quite a fun element to it.

And eventually, you know, you get the whispers like, oh, did I see them kiss at the Christmas party? Yes, you did. So all of that kind of stuff. But I liked that. But ultimately, have you been able to kind of keep anything there with your person, like a friendship, or whatever it was that was there before

yeah well one as was so far away from secret i mean i bought the poor shuffled lad down from the hotel room i mean that's what happened so that was a thing as well and i actually found that a bit intense that everybody i spoke to at work and i spend a lot my job's very social spending a lot of time with people at work yeah and he said his name no don't do that but i would constantly be like oh how is he or how are you both doing oh you still and i just a lot of time with people at work yeah and he said his name no don't do that we're doing that on the podcast but i would constantly be like oh how is he oh how are you both doing oh you still and i just thought oh leave us be like we're drunk that's like the the one word about our dating off was that we were drunk but um i haven't seen him yet and that's like i think it would

probably be awkward the first time we see each other and he said he's the least awkward person ever and i'm sure he thinks that but everyone's going to be a little bit awkward that they dated slept with at work like it's always a little bit awkward but we got on when we when we were going out and we like went out for a date like out out to a club for a date and we had the best time and i'd go out of him again like in a friendship i'll be a wing woman kind of a kind of way so i hope that the next time i see him that we can be friends but it is very intimate because you see it from the side of you're being having you were having the video taken of yourself i find it really intimate to take a video of somebody especially that i've been dating that's so close and i mean

you've seen my camera lens it is close you've seen it it is a closed camera lens and like seeing and him playing a musical instrument and I can look back on that footage I feel that's really like intimate and I just wish that I had a different job for the first time that I see him I just wish that I was the one playing the musical instrument yeah that's the main thing that I'm worried about is that like what I'm gonna do just not record him then my clients are like why did you not get the one person playing that one instrument like why was he not there I've got to film him and it's just so close and, like, awkward. And people already feel awkward enough with me with the camera in the face

without him being like, oh, remember when we dated? And then he was at my house and I was dishevelled off the hotel and we were trying to do business deals in a club. Like, it's all going to be very awkward. It will be fine. And that's where that switch to professionalism really turns on. Like, the guy I dated really used to get annoyed that like after work I'd leave, I'd say bye to everyone, he'd kind of come out to my car hoping for a kiss.

And I was like, no, like you'll have to meet me across the road in the pub. We're not doing that on work premises. No way. Like that's my job and that's my career is everything. Like no, no, no one can get in the way of that. And if, you know, you don't know the rules of dating at work some workplaces are really funny about it and if we were to get in trouble or if they were like Daisy you can't work here I'm a freelancer nothing is secure for me and I think that's different dating as freelancers yeah I think

it's more scary and the boy that that this boy that I dated at work was a blessing that came into my life and he taught me a lot of things and he taught me that I probably won't go for somebody that was a business owner again because when something's going on in their head because your business is everything and there's two of you for it was really hard for me to especially because he was a really bad communicator I found it really hard when he was stressed at work and he would just switch off and I'm like I'm just missing now that's hard though because I am attracted to ambition and the kind that do run, like me, work, work, work, put their career first.

So yeah, you're right. When two people come together like that, that can be really, really difficult. It was difficult. Maybe corporate nine to five built, like climbing the ladder would be more for me. Oh, give me a tradie any day. Like I'm literally,

if you're a tradie and you're listening, you pop up in our DMs please, specifically to Daisy. That's where, I'll take another musician. I would take another musician. Yeah. Creative industries. I do like a creative as well.

But what I was going to get on to dating people at work. I mean, now looking back, I would be able to see him and be absolutely fine. At the time, I was. That's good because I haven't heard you say that. Really? No, because you were still very much... Yeah. Yeah, when we met, I was really upset,

and I was like, I hate him, he's horrible, I can't believe he did this to me. But when time passes, I'm actually a very forgiving person. Okay. If he was to text me ever and be like, I'm really sorry for how I dealt with that, it was through a kind of... He was going through the breakup still,

like, they were obviously not together, but he would have been dealing with those feelings whilst seeing me which also adds a level of complexity for sure but this is what I want to get up into really important when you're dating people at work stick to boundaries I let all of my boundaries go because I was like I can let it go because he's a friend and I can trust him and that's my biggest regret with that I think that was more your thing not just that you worked here is that you really valued him as a friend yeah he wasn't my friend so my boundaries are like I really really need someone to be single for a long enough time okay I like to I like to say two years but I can't it's really hard to meet a guy that's been completely single for two years but I have been you know what I mean like I have been single for ages and I really like it when they've had their time single yeah I seem to meet a lot of

boys just after their relationships it's too complex people do yo-yo back to their exes and I gave into that boundary um I gave into my next rule was um never doing long distance again and I gave into that okay that was like two things that I really let go of that I felt really strongly about so looking back I'm like well they were my two rules and I totally let it go because he was a friend and this is where friends can end up actually hurting you so much more because you never think a friend can do it to you but if I've got any advice for anyone listening always stick to your boundaries like anyone can hurt you a friend no matter how much someone cares about you you're always putting yourself out there it's beautiful but also you're putting yourself at

risk of getting hurt and I just think always stick to your boundaries if you have clear boundaries don't let it go just because you know someone or they've been a childhood friend or a family friend that's what I would really listen to myself next time if there there's something I feel really strongly about, listen to it. Because there were times where I thought, this isn't right. Should he be talking to me like that? Or should he be wanting to see me? Is this an excuse that he's making? And I ignored it because I was like, no, it's him.

I had a soft spot for him. It's empowering. That's it. Empowering. That's the one. It's scary the first few times that you really like, like somebody but you're like they're crossing the boundary and you've got to end it because you it's scary but it gets easier every time you do it and you feel like a goddess every time you do it and i find it easier now and he had a red flag that was um cutting off

communication your guy yeah sorry my guy yes um cut off communication for four days he did it twice and i should have stopped it the first time the first time he went quiet and the first time i didn't hear from him for four days i should i should have ended it then so for my advice would be when it's a red flag and it's obvious yeah because that is an obvious red flag that women talk about and men people that communicate in a way where they go and have their own time for five days and you're expected to sit there and just wait that is a red flag long term i wouldn't be able to deal with exactly so i should have i should have ended it then but i think it's sometimes it's a little bit and i'm not saying he's manipulative because he's not he's really not he's a very nice calm boy but it's a way that's like i'm having a bit of a i

don't know a problem i'm overthinking stuff i'm having a bit of a, I don't know, a problem. I'm overthinking stuff. I'm having a bit of a problem. So I'm going to disappear, but I'll have an excuse when I get back that will make you feel guilty and that will make you feel bad. So now that you've gone missing for five days, that's the boundary that you've crossed for me. It's a red flag. But now because you've come back with an excuse, I now have to accept it and we can move on. But in three weeks later, you're about to do the same thing to me again.

So my advice, if you see a red flag and you know it's an obvious red flag that you see on Instagram, that you see on YouTube, that you see a red flag and you know it's an obvious red flag that you see on instagram that you see on youtube that you see in books that you hear on the podcast yeah that you hear on the podcast that literally is a red flag so passionate about that which is so true though because likewise at the beginning of the podcast you asked me my green flag in someone and it was communication yeah and again my guy really great for someone else um but oh my god his communication skills considering he'd been in a very long-term relationship were really bad they might not have communicated or he might not have known how to communicate with a newer person but whatever it was that was again my green flag that I look for and he didn't have that so why did I continue to

date him and this is where every person is a lesson and yeah he was a big lesson but we just really have to take those lessons I feel like I'm really putting them in place with the people that I'm dating now absolutely so I put it out on the days dates Facebook group okay if people had yeah and you haven't read these so if people had dated at work or what they felt about it okay so Jess got in touch and said my last relationship was with someone from work he does work on site so i don't see him that often it was slightly awkward at the beginning but it's fine now and yes i would do it again i said jess hun you had me on site i am a sucker for a tradie fair play for saying you do it again i know yeah but jess she's she put me too it's all about them tradie trousers you know the

one never been with somebody that works on site before. Oh, with them pockets. Usually very, my people are academic. Really? Yeah. We're going to get into this in another episode about our types because it's very different, which is good. Because if we go out together, we're not after the same guy.

I feel like they're more cheeky chappies that they're on site. Yeah, I like that. Love that for you, Jess. Rhiannon says, I have two kids with someone I met at work. We'd never date someone from work again, though. Oh, I know. But that's mad, isn't it? A full-blown relationship was there.

Can happen. Tina, I had a fling with a guy 15 years older than me at work. Never again. This is the thing that happens at work. It's the age gap. Sexy boss at work. Do you like the older man? No, I usually go for younger same but I mean it wouldn't be for me but 15 years older with a sexy

little suit on I can see why you did it for sure wait I don't go for younger but last year I did have a little bit of a fling with someone younger and it was a great summer fling but normally I go for like I feel like you couldn't yeah you don't give me a vibe of younger no I go for like... I feel like you couldn't... Yeah, you don't give me a vibe of younger. No, I need mature, like five years older. Max though, not that much older. Not like an older man. Yeah. And Fiona has said, I dated a guy 12 years older than me from work

that lasted two years. Oh, so all these older men. Although I was 18 at the time and he was 30. Gives me the ick to think about. Right, yeah, guys, actually, we take that little woo back. That would be me going out with an 18 year old no when you put it like that you want such different things don't you like you're in such a different space and i think it's exciting for the 18 year old

but the 30 year old what are you playing at and tash has put i met my husband at work we have a child and got married even though i'm only part-time at that job now, my favourite day of the week is when we're at work together. No, stop. That one's really cute. Sounds horrifically cheesy, but it's been six years, and he's my soulmate. It wasn't my dream dancer job either,

but everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. That's so cute. I love that. This is what I love about the Daisy J's group because um there's still people that have really met their person and have these lovely stories which is what this podcast is about as well it's not just for single people so do you get in touch for your love stories you make me want to go for a colleague again

how cute I mean yeah to be fair the majority was no. And then Sarah got in touch as well. I dated a guy from work, but what was meant to be both casual and completely private got awkward as he was telling his colleagues how we were in love. That's so awkward, Sarah. My very good work friend laughed her head off when she found out she knew it was a very different story to the one he was sharing and she soon corrected the office girls love that for your bestie I love that oh my goodness that's like me and being on a different page I mean he wasn't in love with me but he was taking the next step and I was taking a casual one that is so funny see we're so different to each other which is why these stories are going to come on the episode are going to be so funny because I'm like a little bit of a hopes romantic and you're you're a little bit like nope see yeah yeah but what conclusion have we come to then what do we do again question

would we do it again would we do it again mine's nice and short now I don't oh I don't know actually I you know what I feel like you should never cut off, love. Yeah. If I was to meet someone at work, I probably would do it again, but it wouldn't be ideal when I'd, again, listen to the advice we gave earlier and take it slow and not get mixed up in our emotions

of staying in hotels or staying away with work. I'd, you know, and you know what? On that note, I wouldn't invite people to my own space as well back so soon. I think dating and going home separately and not rushing things with someone that you already know.

But when you already know them, it is hard to not escalate it quickly. It is. But remember to take it slow with someone or take it at your own pace, whatever that works for you. Yeah, I think that maybe I would do it again, but I would make different decisions and not accelerate it on the first night and accelerate it on night two instead. That was done as well, no I'm joking mum don't do this.

I think maybe I would but it would have to be the right person. Exactly, you know what, that's a good closing one, it's all about the right person, you don't want to you don't want to close off to someone that could be potentially really great. So thank you so much for listening that was our first our first ever episode together here on the daisy dates podcast do like and subscribe and please share we will have a whatsapp number coming your way very soon to get in touch but do get in touch

on the daisy dates facebook group which is actually for women just to keep it a nice space for women to share dilemmas but I want every single person every type of person involved in this podcast so we'd love to hear from all genders and men and your points of view and dating as well but we're Daisy Dates Podcast across TikTok, Instagram YouTube, wherever. Lots of platforms

can speak to us on so don't be shy slide on into the DMs in whatever way works for you and we'll see you for episode two which is how we love well turn that back how to be happy single see you then