Daisie Dates - EP11 PART2| FIT FCK - HOW CAN I SHOOT MY SHOT?

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

WELCOME TO SEASON 2 of the Daisie Dates Podcast!! *No explicit content, just 1x swear word* First Up, in this episode, the founder of FITFCK, Jamie Wykes-Hobday joins me with his team, Callum Roberts, Jude Bennett, Matty Lee and Emily Smith. PART 1 of this episode is all about the FITFCK app, how it came about, the idea behind it, marketing strategies and we touch on one of the very well known Investors!! (Did someone say OnlyFans?!) THIS IS PART 2 is about all the juicy stuff - icks, dating do's and don't's and SHOULD WE APPROACH SOMEONE IN THE GYM? Are the rules different for a guy and a gal? Enjoy the episode and like & subscribe to never miss anything! Insta - @daisiebelle @daisiedatespodcast TikTok - @daisiebelle6 @daisiedatespodcast Find the pod on all streaming platforms, too! Follow FITFCK: Insta & TikTok & YouTube - FITFCK P.S This is a relationships and dating podcast which is in the podcast charts. I cover mindset, heartbreak, rewiring thoughts and we chat all things finding love, aswell as finding ways for being happy single and embracing dating, choosing to not date at all or just having fun!  Follow everywhere @daisiedatespodcast and @daisiebelle PLEASE like and subscribe or leave a review - every little helps and this podcast is produced, presented, filmed and edited by me. Enjoy the episode!! Dais xo

Hey, welcome to the Daisy Dates podcast. I'm Daisy and this is part two of the Fit FCK episode. Make sure that you go back and listen to part one, but this section kind of focuses on dating, approaching people in the gym and different opinions of who should shoot their shot, who should be paying for meals and all of that juicy stuff. I hope you enjoy. So for anyone that isn't watching and is listening via audio, I'm now joined in the studio, still with Jamie, we've got Mattie Lee and Emily Smith joining us. Hello.

There's a different energy in the room. You two feel like the naughty ones of the team. We definitely are. That's why we're asked to sit here with Jamie. I know. With Dad. 100%. So we're talking predominantly, predominantly like dating in this little part

and a question that gets asked a lot, approaching people in the gym. From a girl and a guy's perspective, how do we feel about it? Emily, you first. I definitely have a story to tell about approaching people in the gym. So I used to, I actually was moving out of London and I acquired a gym crush at that time and I was like I need to speak to him like watching him do the hip thrust was really a sight for sore eyes so um I one day like mustered up the courage and was like kind of went over to

him was like you're using these weights? And it was received well. Good. So I think girls go for it. I'm not sure about guys. What do you think, Matty? I'm one of those people, if you want something, go and get it. But at the same time, you've got respect to girls' boundaries in the gym. Girls will say they don't go to the gym to get hit on, but they'll turn up with full face of makeup and their hair done.

So you can't say you don't want to get hit on if you're making the full effort to go there and get sweaty. So it's a case of when you chat to them, like just start off a little bit casual and go for it. Feminist in me doesn't know where to go there. So I agree, but should I agree? I don't know. Part of the reason that you're training also,

it's for the opposite sex or the same sex, but like it's for attraction. It's for yourself. Yeah, so I'd say now, I'd say 60% of reason why i trained mental and the rest is appearance yeah i'd say that's good so like if you're training for appearance is it a shock if someone comes and says hey yeah i feel like as well i was definitely like eyeing him up so it kind of gave him the go-ahead to m's not subtle either no you can't be like they men

don't take the hint and i think it's good that's exactly what i talk about the podcast you have to give someone a signal that they can approach you especially guys now i think with consent and everything you have to give them a signal to allow them in a space where they feel comfortable but funny enough because i have a jimmy guy friend he was like daisy just go up to someone in gym and i'm like i don't think they want to be approached he was like no just be like feed their ego

be like oh god alright like how you lift it like whoa that's a big one that's a big one no it's not here I'll say it

Callum said like you're actually like really easy to talk to so if you spoke to them how you're speaking now I don't know a guy that would like say no yeah

100% and it's all about how you approach them. So like if you approach them like with a stiff face, you're going to get a stiff face back. But if you go like really open and like smiley. Yes. Yeah.

So I have a way to look at that as well is before you go and speak to them, nothing's going to happen. So you go and chat to them and say no, you're still in the same place before. But they could say yes, you're winning. Yeah, exactly. That's a great mindset half, isn't it?

Yeah. I love it. Matty Gandhi. Yeah. The only mindset, isn't it? Yeah. I love it. Matty Gandhi. Yeah. The only beneficial would probably come out of my mouth today. So go on then, Matty. You've been subtle.

You've been posting pics, but you've met someone on Fit FCK. I have, yeah. So I made a bet with one of my mates that I weren't going to settle down until 30. I was going to focus on work. How old are you? 28.

Okay. And we bet a nice, big, expensive I weren't going to settle down until 30. I was going to focus on work. How old are you? 28. Okay. And we bet a nice, big, expensive dinner on it. Met her. Two weeks later, locked her off, made her my girlfriend. Fully fell in love. Fully? Not in two weeks? Yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah, like fully jumped in deep. How? The dream. Do you mean how? How did I fall in love? Yeah, what made that person for you different and change your, because generally, and I think especially guys,

but generally women as well, if someone puts it in their head that they're not going to be in a relationship for X amount of years, they probably won't be. They'll kind of just, because you have to be in a mindset to be open to someone coming into your life and like that commitment. I think there has to be a part of you that is open to it.

So what did she do or have that made it change? There's things that she's had, both personality traits and physical traits. But in terms of it, obviously I wasn't looking for it. It kind of just caught me off guard. And it's just the smaller things, the affection, the attention, that type of stuff that caught me off guard. I look at it as like shopping. You go food shopping when you're hungry, you'll buy shit.

So if you go dating when you're hungry, you're not going to basically settle down for a good person but if you're not looking for it you should go to the shops that's where things start popping out to you so when you're not dating or actively looking to go right i want a girlfriend things will catch off guard because you're not trying to force something and it just naturally occurs okay this time it's obviously naturally occurred a lot quicker than i expected but it is what it is absolutely smug he is yeah she is gorgeous as well yeah i'm sure i'm saying what i've seen i mean i've seen like we're going on the vacation next week oh gosh yeah she'll get a reveal next week so she's like a gym girl as well she goes to the gym she doesn't like it um i think it's just more

down to a lot of people um obviously you've got this stigma of gym people people think those people know what they're doing and know exactly everything in there yeah and then the people that go i'll go gym but don't really know what i'm doing it's the case that everyone's in the same place um educating her yeah no but if you looked at her you'd be like she has the gym yeah yeah she's one of those girls she doesn't like she does yeah i mean from what i've seen like she's in good shape. Yeah. Very good personality to a cat. How does... And that's all it comes back to, ultimately, isn't it?

Yes, yes. Which is what we've discussed. How does having a strict fitness schedule and perhaps stricter food than some people and that, if I can say, like, intense workout regime affect relationships? I'm, like, not just romantic either, like, having to maybe not go to a party or maybe not going to a 30th birthday you know they're going to drink loads or i think it's

great um i feel like that's why fck works so well um because you are finding like-minded individuals guys we can pay her now no definitely like the community like on the app and also on like the instagram and all of the events you know that these people are going to have some sort of interest in fitness so um it's not down to like necessarily your needs and requirements for yourself um on like a gym basis or diet basis it's how that person can like accommodate and fit into your life and i think that's what everyone kind of wants in a relationship so even if you're on like a real strict diet and you're like competing or you're trying to lose a load of weight um I feel like the community that we have whether it's like a training partner relationship dating that person would want the best for you because you've kind of got similar

values yeah and you're a shoot your shot kind of gal which I love because that's me and I rarely meet girls like that um have you ever had a ridiculous opening line or an opener or have you ever used a ridiculous opener um no I well I'll say maybe my most recent dm slide um I basically was following this guy I'm still following this guy on Instagram um and he'd been on holiday and he looked outrageous so I messaged him and was like did you go on a vacation I think everything comes down to a holiday with a girl or a boy um and I was like did you go away with a girl and he was like um vacation with my housemate and I was like is your housemate a girl and he was like no it's a guy and I was like oh thank godmate a girl and he was like no it's a guy and

I was like oh thank god so I was going I was like I'm gonna pursue this one still pursuing it to this day um yeah you're pursuing them yes do you mind being the pursuer as a girl I don't mind but sometimes uh he's he's I'm hoping it happens because they'd be a perfect poster couple as with those two so I'm literally, how's it going with him? I'm going to keep chasing. We'll see how it goes. I love that you're just open, that you're absolutely fine pursuing and chasing as well. We've done some talking before this about how she can

start doing a little bit more stalking. I'm going to bait you out. You think it's okay for a girl to pursue as well? 100%. It can't be a one-way thing. There's got to be effort. And me, from a guy's perspective, if I'm putting a lot of energy and effort into a woman

and then she's not giving that back, I'm just going to be like, no, see you later. I'm out of there. It's normally the Andrew Tate kind of guys that are like, oh, no, I need to pursue a woman. You need feminine, all feminine energy. And I'm just like, now that just isn't what girls are like. I feel like some girls can be entitled

and they want the dinners in Nobu and Rocker and you need to come and pick me up, et cetera. But if you actually really genuinely like someone and you have an interest in their personality and not just their looks, obviously their looks does come into it. But I feel like you, that's not to say that you can't be feminine

when you're pursuing someone like take like first date took him a cheesecake for a walk in a park like that's quite nice yeah so i think from a guy's point of view gratitude's huge yeah like i always think is it gratitude or is it ego building so i also have a massive problem with like boosting a guy's ego that i don't know yet no for me and it's definitely because i also have a massive problem with like boosting a guy's ego that I don't know yet because they're an arsehole. For me, and it's definitely because I've got a few issues on that side, I think,

but it's like, if I do something for a girl and I can see it's really pleased her or she's been like, that's really thoughtful, that makes me feel amazing. So it's actually selfish if you think about it.

No, that comes down to a love language. You just like acts of service and that's actually okay. don't get me wrong. So what I'm talking about is what Emily just suggested would be the dream

where it's like a girl comes to like the park with you and she's bought food that's like unreal I'm a wife you thought before the date

what would he like what would he not yeah I'm gonna go out my way and I'll go and do this it could be a cup of coffee or it could be anything something small

it's not enough to be materialistic and I'd much prefer that or if it dates back to a conversation you've had and you're like oh she remembered that so if I said oh my favourite coffee is an Americano she bought an Americano she goes like oh I know you like it I was like oh that if it dates back to a conversation you've had and you're like oh she remembered that so if I said oh my favourite coffee

is an Americano she bought an Americano she goes like oh I know you like it I was like oh that's it's actually listening yeah that's mean actually

like a guy we had like our fourth date and he came over and I had like his favourite who'd had like this beer that was weird ale and I had it in the fridge and he was like

oh my god do you remember and I was like well yeah of course I did and again it comes down to like just a connection with a person that's quite

a simple thing it seems quite simple i say it's simple but in today's society a lot of people don't think about that and going back to what you say a lot of people like the more expensive they aspire for it's a nice dinner things out and it's like why would we give i say we as in not members but why would that person give you that if you're not going to do the simple things i had a date a date last year and i remember asking her what's your favorite food and for me when i wake up and i think what's my favorite food steak and chips every time or like burger and chips something like meat and chips and she turns around she goes lobster i said i said oh so you wake up on a tuesday morning i'm really craving lobster and then she goes and then I said and I'll be honest I said what's your favorite dinner when we're splitting the bill because she she was

that kind I know it I know that's an interesting question no but if I know you can't judge but if you'd met the girl you'd know as well no that's fine and I was like she was like oh well I meant like street kitchen lobster oh and of course you meant Mayfair, lobster in Nobu. She meant Nobu, yeah. It would have to be full-on girlfriend for that to even be considered. I mean, first date, that's wild. Yeah, that is. First date. It all comes back to that, like, keeping the expectations low.

Like, maybe, Mattie, that's why it's worked for you. You had no expectation of this person. You obviously, like, came together via FitFCK. And then maybe you weren't really looking for it but you were like on the app or something or was a live event whatever it was because there was no expectation you took her for how she was face value whereas i think when you go in with an expectation of i've curled my hair i'm wearing this brand new dress that cost me x amount of money i'm wearing here and we're going here there's already an expectation on the person

yeah and also i think like with girls obviously we have a lot to do like we have a lot to prepare for um and then it comes down to the well you should be planning it and you like if i've made all of this effort you could do that like the bare minimum of organizing the date but also does it all like does it come down if that happens i don't know what your guys opinions are on that but if you do spend like £250 on a date plus, do you expect to go home with her? Oh, no, because then it's technically an escort then. No, no, no.

Well, yeah. Not that I've ever been one, just saying. No, factually, I've always thought this. If you're flaunting the bill in the hope she comes home, you're treating her like an escort, 1 million percent. But there are some girls out there, and I've been on quite a few dates with them, a bill in the hope she comes home you're treating her like an escort one million percent um but there are some girls out there and i've been on quite a few dates with them where they just like for the guy to say right we're meeting here this time be ready for here oh i love that but that

doesn't really exist so much anymore so where we were talking about masculine and feminine energy i do like men to be masculine in that way like you're allowed to do that but i think men are scared too in case that comes across as controlling or owning it's a conversation that I probably wouldn't want to get into this podcast but I think testosterone today has been battered out of men I think a lot of guys nowadays it's kind of like you a lot of people are sort of telling us like not to do this not to do that you know when that's the point yeah ultimately do what you want 100% I think that's why I'm trying to encourage on the podcast on TikTok like to get girls going up to guys because it has just naturally,

with everything going on in the news all of the time, become harder for men to know what to do, navigate and how to approach a woman that isn't just going to be horrible in their face. I think we've done full circle as well, even approaching people at the gym. There's definitely on TikTok where guys don't want to go up to girls because they're filming and it just kind of looks.

That's a whole big thing, isn't it? Which is fair, but it's hard. Where do you meet people? Like it's super hard. It's true. And I think also like, you know, you get the girls who film themselves and be like, this guy was staring at me and all the comments like,

no, he's not. Yeah. I think there's a fine line between like, because obviously with guys you get misogynist and that's not right we all know that's not right but you also with girls you do get asogenists where it's like aggression towards males and i think like we just ultimately need to find like the happy medium where we're all saying look we are all equal but we've all just got different things that we do do you know what i mean yeah um everyone has i think i think the best word best description I've ever heard

is we're both complementary opposites male and females like we can do things that girls can't and girls can do things we can't do you know what I mean

and that is just science we wouldn't be if it wasn't for girls right so yeah I mean it's very long winded conversation

that one would be well I like that we touched on it at least I always ask a finale question so success rate of fit fck events so far because that's what I'm about the meeting in real life 100 so every event there's been either relationships come out of it dates or a lot of hookups a lot of hookups okay I'm just being honest yeah yeah yeah transparent yeah the actual relationships are coming from this it's

putting people in the right rooms to get whatever they want out of it. I've always said if we have an event that no one gets with each other, if you want to call it that, like I'll eat my shoe. I'm thankful I've not had to eat any shoes yet. Amazing. Where do you want to see for FCK in one year's time? So I've been pitching to investors all week,

so I know this is like a very rehearsed slide. I want it to be like a multi-level consumer brand across the UK and the US in particular. Like once we've got some real traction in the UK, like at the moment it's very Londonized, if that's a word. I want it to like go across the UK and then later this year start to trickle into the US. Yeah, I think that's the important part, trickling it into places that aren't just the cities. Because that annoys people too. So many apps are just one place. i know that'd be really beneficial because when we did our first pilot i just thought right mass downloads so we ended up getting downloads in

montenegro uzbekistan everywhere like because we put it on a global radar and obviously social media is well accessible yeah so i think the reason why people do that is for quality connections so we do focus on london because we know that good engagement good matches whereas if you've got someone in you know jersey and then someone in london the likelihood that they'll meet is pretty low yeah but yeah i know what you mean yeah well thank you everyone that's been with us today for your time we had callum roberts jude bennett emily smith mattie lee and of course founder of fit fck jamie works so thank you for having us

where can people follow you? The main one is Instagram FitFCK and bizarrely LinkedIn actually is quite a big one on the phone

LinkedIn's popping off it's the easiest platform to grow on at the moment oh my god never thought I'd hear that oh god

just another app to focus on thank you so much for joining me today and of course you can follow Daisy Dates Podcast wherever you go

to get them on streaming platforms and you can watch on YouTube as well that was our first episode of season two thank you for joining me I'll see you next time