Daisie Dates - EP2 Being Happy Single

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Welcome to the latest episode of Daisie Dates Podcast! Today, we're talking about a topic that affects so many of us: being happy and fulfilled while single. Daisie & Sharn have vastly different experiences when it comes to dating and relationships. Sharn is currently loving the dating game after a seven-year break, while Daisie is feeling exhausted from the constant search for love on apps! Despite being at different stages of their journey, both Daisie & Sharn have found ways to stay happy and fulfilled whilst being single. In this episode, they share their insights and tips on how to enjoy the single life, from focusing on personal growth, through to embracing new hobbies and adventures. Whether you're currently single and looking for inspiration or simply want to learn how to appreciate your own company, this episode has something for everyone. So grab a cup of tea, sit back, and join us for a conversation about happiness, independence, and the joys of being single. FOLLOW: Facebook - @Daisiedates Instagram - @Daisiedatespodcast @daisiebelle TikTok - @DaisieDatesPodcast @daisiebelle6 My DM's are always open if you want some advice! Dais xo

Hello, welcome back to the Daisy Dates podcast. I'm Daisy. And I'm Sian. And in this podcast, we talk all things firsts, lasts, ghosting, heartbreak, you name it, we're going to be discussing it. But this is episode two and we're discussing being happy single. So we are both definitely single and there's been hell a lot of bank holidays this May, which I think always makes you feel a certain way. Like you see families out, you see children, lots of children's activities and you see lots of couples out and about do you think that makes you feel a certain way because it does me yeah I think because we're in different positions where I've been single for seven years and I chose to

be single for seven years so I've got a group of friends that there's 30 of us and it's 15 couples and I'm the only single one there was two of us was one boy one girl he's just recently got a girlfriend like last week so I'm the only single one um and that's just how it's always been and I've really been fun with it I don't know his couple I don't know his couples to be honest I don't really know yeah to be fair I don't know his couples like um I've people around me that have recently gone through breakups and it's all they see because it is isn't it after a breakup but like the families I see because for the first time the families I see, because for the first time ever, I'm at a point for the first time ever, I'm like, yeah, could see myself. Having a little family.

With that little life now. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's the first time ever. So would you say that you've always been happy single? This is a hard, you know what? I think I've always been happy single, even when I was younger before I had my first boyfriend. I didn't care about having a boyfriend.

Have I been happy always to be alone? No. I really struggled after my first heartbreak to be on my own and to spend time on my own. But I was happy single, but I just needed to be with friends or family or anybody that would talk to me every second of the day because I was that scared of being left alone with my own thoughts going through heartbreak really yeah so I don't think

I've always been happy to be alone but I think I've always been okay being single I mean now now that I've started dating I don't know if it's not feeling happy single or just trying to rush the process like I've had seven years I've dated for a year i'm ready like let's just hurry it up i don't like the whole rigmarole of like dating necessarily i think 100 that just gets worse and worse the older you get like the more apps that you go on you're just like come on cut the small talk and i i see it in my um you know before this episode you read out your bumble bio and i was like gosh you've put in so much effort you can tell that you're new to the dating world because I've deleted, come off, deleted, come off. And I'm not even sure it says much now. Probably my Instagram, which is a ick for most people.

Because you just get lazier and lazier because it becomes so much more effort. So I 100% agree that I'm in a space where I'm like, I'm just wanting to rush it. Let's cut the small talk. Are we going out or are we not? And is there a second date at the end of it? And do you feel more like this this bank holiday

in may because of where you are dating at the moment because you've taken a step back so do you think you it felt a little bit more because you're not even talking to anybody you're not even talking to boys and obviously we both know it's hard to do it in real life out in me okay yeah it's it's hard it's harder but when you look texting and but you've got to take a step back from the dating app sometimes you've got to like I've had times where I've not spoken to anyone for three four months and just not gone on dating apps but I think maybe if you're out and about bank holiday of everybody that's harder because you're already just taking a step back yeah take a step back and this is the problem with today's world like I think half the time

talking to someone is just a distraction for most people um you know, I've had someone recently message me on Instagram. We got into such good conversations, stayed up till like one in the morning texting. Then we never heard from each other again. And you're like, oh, that was a waste of some lack of sleep, wasn't it? But that's what happens. It's like a moment in time now in this day and world. But yeah, I am, for those of you that may have just kind of listened to the podcast, I am completely single at the minute.

Like, no one in the DMs, not talking to anyone, no one to text, which has been a choice for me. Yeah, but that's purposeful. Yeah, and I'm off the apps. But that's the first time for me where I've been fully, fully happy. No, like, I've always been very good on my own. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant the first time you ever come off the apps no no veteran no no like fully fully single not talking to anyone i live alone now so i'm literally like you know i have a social job and but sometimes

it's not so social when you're working alone and then i go home and there's like no one and I am so content to the point where I'm scared oh really so scared I was like that probably about four years in I used to think am I never gonna want to meet anybody and then I'll just be alone because I don't want to like that scared me more than being alone was not wanting to meet anybody exactly and that's where you're at well or feeling kind of I'm scared that I'd get there like it's so hard to let someone in when you're that content I'm like you have to be amazing phenomenal if you're gonna sit next to me on this couch because I can sit here and watch friends and Netflix alone fine by myself so you need to be amazing yeah that that's what's scary

and I think that's where the exhaustion of dating comes in a lot more than it used to. Like no one used to be this exhausted dating because it wasn't that available on an app. It's exhausting. And I've been doing it for a year and I've dated three or four boys. And you know what's most exhausting is meeting someone that you really do get along with and then them not being it. And it's like, okay, that's great. And the positive is that every time I speak to a new person, I'm like, no, there are more boys that I would literally get along with and then them not being it and it's like okay that's great and the positive is that every time i speak to a new person i'm like no there are more boys that i would literally get on with there are more boys out there for me but it's like why why isn't it them like why have

i got to now meet another boy that we have great chat and i'm like woo and then it's like nope it's not them either but then that might because i'm negative sometimes when i think about dating i never because the way i think i don't think anything's going to happen in the future maybe that's why but it's exhausting to keep talking to people that you get on with and then it not be it yeah I have this conversation with my best friend quite a lot like it's the going it's the progress and then the process again of right we start from one again yeah then we have to get to the date again then we have to text again that is the same things over yeah I've got a business and yeah

I've got a dog yeah over and over again yeah and I find that really really hard like that why couldn't he have just been it because I I don't want to go through this again but then that's where you start to accept behaviors that you normally wouldn't because which I have done recently as well I've accepted behaviors I shouldn't have because I'm like oh I also think it might be I've never thought about this before but I think it might also hold you back from being authentic because when you're going through these same conversations again and again again you start seeing reactions from things you're saying so like for me if it's something stupid like I don't eat eat meat this is like a real bug standard like example but um if i got a bad reaction off that every time i said that to a boy i would just stop

saying that yes so i feel like then you start holding yourself back and there's things that i know all right a boy wouldn't like me to say that because i've had this conversation where i have given that information now so as i've got as you're going through you're kind of like structuring your conversation in a way that's like right i know they're like this I know they're like this I know boys like this and then you're not really being authentic because you've gone through it so much that you're like I'll only tell you the things that I know that are going to be beneficial and that's going to have a positive outcome yeah 100% I mean I've even played down my job say this is what I'm saying yeah I used to be like yeah I'm on the radio and I present this this is like I used to be so proud which I'm so proud of it but now I play it down because guys are so weird about it they're like

oh so you're famous then I'm like no no no no don't get and like oh do you like being center of attention no that isn't why I'm a presenter it's just I love like being around people yeah and I like getting to know people's stories I like interviewing people it's genuine it's not from a place that oh I just want fame it's not at all so I'm like I don't want to give people that impression so how do I take that out of the equation yeah because you've had experience with so many talks you're like oh I know that doesn't get the most positive response let's downplay that a little bit I do it with being busy so I'm always busier but I don't want the boy to think that I can't fit anybody in exactly but then every day what I'm supposed to just be what did you do today I went really I went to Zumba I saw

my friend I went and got pizza but I'm like um I just sat at home waiting for a boy to come and take me out when no yeah but I'm like that I'm like today I have not had a chance like you like just about had time to clean my teeth but I find myself playing my busyness down because I know that it doesn't always get a good response so I think it's not just being exhausted it's it's changing how authentic you can be no I think that's a really good point I have a little confession here actually I have actually changed my bio to saying that I work in marketing just as like a standard kind of job that a lot of people have that's still really interesting know what you mean because it's it's less questions marketing yeah and you know what i did better i did i just did

better because people didn't have a perception of whatever someone thinks of a presenter being center of attention and when i say that on dates or to guys a lot of the time they're like i wouldn't think that i wouldn't be put off but actually i see it and that's because you've explained yeah that's the reason why you've not mentioned it. And now that I just think we need to take back. We may be going into dates and this is for me now thinking like going into bumble chats and stuff. Don't go in and change. Just go in as if they're the first person that you've spoken to. A hundred percent.

And I do want to caveat that with it was definitely a social experiment when I like changed my job. It was not to actually like lie to someone. Don't do that. No, no. It's not lying. But it's just out of interest. I was like, mum, if I try this, because It was not to actually lie to someone. Don't do that. No, no, it's not lying. But just out of interest, I was like, Mum, if I try this, because she was like, try it. Because if people are being so weird about your occupation, just see.

So it was interesting. But no, you're right. Being your authentic self is so important and that can completely get lost sometimes in this. Yeah, it does. What feels like a rat race, really, because you're just constant and if you're a boy or a girl listening to this i'd say like maybe the boys are doing the same things and we

don't know and they're downplaying stuff as well and maybe if we stand our ground to be like you can see me and this is me i'm not going to downplay anything because i've had bad responses in the past maybe we'd do better and maybe boys will be more open to being showing their self more maybe this is one of the problems that we're having on dating apps yeah potentially i mean it's a rat race yeah i think there's a lot of problems that we're going to get into on other episodes as well but that's just the beginning like the exhaustion of it having to you know i have guy friends say daisy what should my profile say and i'm like you know what i think half the time dating app is all in the mood. You're just lucky if you catch me in a good mood that night

that wants to give actual time to you. Can be bothered to message. Yeah, without sounding bad though. But if you catch me like I've had a really bad day, oh, I'm going on my own, oh, I had to order rings, haven't cooked, just bored swiping, you'll catch me at a really bad time. So your bio could be epic and I'd still swipe you know.

It's all in the timing of the person swiping if you're going into it like oh I'd really like to do something this weekend I wonder if there's anyone on there that would like to go on a date and you're genuinely looking you look at everything in a different light do you know I mean if I'm genuinely on it looking I will look to see if they actually want kids and if they're looking for something serious because that's valuable to me then. But if I'm just bored, I see them say, don't know yet, and I'm like, no, it's fit. And I'm like, Daisy, what are you doing? I mean, I was in Manchester with my friends and we were drinking and we were trying to see

who can get the most matches out of me and my friend and whoever gets five matches in a row. Oh, God. Does a loser does a tequila shot? I'm like, my soulmate is gone. Gone. Swiped straight past it. This mate he's gone gone games that come with it i see people doing it i saw a tiktok the other day of girls just doing it and like having a drunk swipe on each other's phone and that's another thing half the time you're just part of a game i mean a guy said to me once he said let me look at your bumble

just someone i work with and he was like oh my god you've literally got 4 000 people that like you and I'm like I've never even noticed that number before but he had actually like looked for that number so that means nothing to me if I've not liked them back I'm 100 literally so rarely feels like yes out there it is I think everyone feels that way and the exhaustion is real so do you think do you think being happy single has gotten easier or harder later into your 20s? Easier. Easier, I think. Yeah. Because with my job, it's a lot of networking. And also it gave me...

You know, when you work with business people and freelancers, which is obviously a niche and not everybody listening will be doing that, but a lot of people are independent regardless if they're in a relationship or not because they own their own businesses they're having to get their own work and since meeting these people at work who are married some of them are married and she's got like one of my clients went on a trip to Paris on her own she went to the cinema on her own and I'm like oh you went to cinema on your own and I wanted to see Matilda and it never even crossed my mind that I could go on my own oh Matilda was great did you see it yeah on my own yes well on my own so I think it's

got easier because it's more accepted in my place of work um but I can imagine that maybe it gets harder if you're in a normal nine-to-five where you don't have those kind of people that they're just all in a relationship or they're just single I feel like I've got a nice balance where they're married but they do a lot of stuff separate because they've got kids to look after they've got a business to run they just do stuff separate so I think easier do you yes agree I would say easier because you build your life a bit more and other things because yeah that's what yeah when you're 21 like the boy is so important to some people or the girl if obviously whoever you're dating that is like important and that first boyfriend and the first like so much fun yeah

and then the heart breaks and you go out finding again but I think just more becomes important like I would if if someone asked me on a date this weekend I know that you know I've got loads going on I've got some family parties there's a lot going on so I would probably say no okay to spend the time with my friends because I'm like I know going to have a better time than going on a first date. And I'd kind of put the first date second priority. Okay. Whereas I used to be like, yep, sorry, so and so. Oh, really?

Well, yeah, when I was younger. Yeah. So I think it's much easier now. Like family and friends first, career first. And then if the boy wants to wait for that day or if you know I can curate it to fit if they can fit into my life and they're happy with that yeah 100% so girls definitely easier and I guess confidence comes with age well readers that could I guess that depends on situations if you've gone for a really horrible breakup then you get a confidence knock

but for me so much more confidence in being alone you know what really gets my back up if someone's like uh why are you single um is there something wrong with you because you're this you're that you're that something must like what is it yeah or are you single oh don't worry you'll find someone we need to remember how empowering it is to be single the fact that you can do anything you want single whenever you want which you technically should still be able to do at points in relationship but the difference is if you've got kids obviously it isn't that easy if you have a partner that you haven't seen all weeks you need to see the weekend it isn't as easy as that when you're single your life your rules you do what you want when you want and there is a freedom in that that needs to be empowered more than it is

currently yeah exactly so there really is that freedom knowing that I don't have to tell anyone when I'm home tonight when I'm getting in I don't have to text anyone and that is a lovely feeling to just have the freedom of life I think everyone at some point if they could should experience that yeah and I believe if you work for anything you'll be successful and I don't think that's any different when it comes to dating if you are right now actively dating and looking for somebody and learning about yourself and learning from experiences you will meet somebody so this time that you've got right now on your own is really precious it's not going to be forever because hopefully we'll meet somebody that will be together for ever if not the longest time

this is precious right now we're young and we're single and we've got time to ourselves exactly like you said enjoy it carry on dating learning but enjoy enjoy this now it's not going to be forever it's not exactly and anyone even older than us like 40s 50s going through maybe those divorces or those long-term breakups find that empowering time that you maybe didn't have in your 20s early 20s because if you met someone so young or find the time that you've just been missing maybe you want to play tennis again anything like that just try and enjoy your life what I say to friends that feel quite down about being single is you need to create the life that you love yeah And that is completely in our power. No one else's.

Someone can come and make your life better. But ultimately, if the most amazing man walked into my life right now, they'd be making my life better. They wouldn't be making my life. Everything else in my life, you know, there's ups and downs. And I'm saying this from a place where, you know, we're getting cuts at work. And there's a lot of stress. But generally, I've created a life within my work, within within my career within the things that I do outside of work and the things that I do

with friends the things I do on my own like going for a 5k run on my own and I know it's something so simple but it's things that you need to find the time for and appreciate the days that I get my ass to the gym in the morning and I've had that me time the best days and if you're not who you'd want to be in five years right now and you're not making those changes or trying to better yourself in any way then what boy are you going to or girl, whoever you're dating are you going to bring into your life

when you're right and you're like yeah I think there's a boy out there for me and he's living his life right now and he doesn't know that I'm going to come into it and I want him to be doing the work as well. Yeah. I want him to be doing the work. So when we both meet each other, we've got so much to talk about

and we've both learned and we're both on this development journey. I want him to be doing that so I should be doing it too because right now we're living separate lives, but I believe he's out there and I want him to be living his best life just like I am. So when we meet each other, it's perfect. And that's how I think. I think that's great.

Yeah. And even when you're saying the development, it's perfect. And that's how I think. I think that's great. Yeah. And even when you're saying the development, it's such a healthy way to look at it. Yeah. That he's out there too doing his thing, going on his holidays, getting the things out of his system that you want him to get out of his system. Like the lads holidays and all of the stuff. But absolutely, I think that's a really healthy way to look at it. Changing the perspective of it.

Yeah. That's it. It's all in the mindset. And in the meantime, making sure that you enjoy it every single day. Because because when you do meet them and I've had friends say this that are in very healthy relationships they they sometimes say to me in the office friends will say oh Daisy I'm living through you you're going to Bali on your own I'm living through you because that's something that they might not be able to do now yeah so when this opportunity came to go on my own with with 100 strangers to Bali I thought okay I'm this age now next year

I might have met someone I might it might move really quick I might want something or my career might get really busy or I might not have the money in that point of time being a freelancer I need to go in this moment whilst I can what have you got to lose so yeah I think that's a really healthy perspective and also the development thing that you mentioned reading how when um me and you first met I was reading the book all about attachment styles which we're gonna do an episode on we are and we kind of spoke about it a lot we've got opposite attachment styles literally um all of that reading is really healthy for them finding your partner I'd love a guy to be doing that yeah and there are boys out there that are doing it now, I feel. And not only that is that we do have, and we will get really into this,

but we have unhealthy attachment stores that can be changed. So do I want to meet somebody now whilst I'm a fearful avoidant? Or do I want to meet them in six months' time when I've at least got some secure in me or completely secure? Because I can change that. And do I want to meet him when he is an avoidant a dismissive avoidant I want him I want him to have done the work so think of it like that

and did I want to meet him when I was working abroad in Greece for a tiny little skirt and running around chasing the boys no did I want to meet him at the time

and when we meet each other I'll be like what have you been doing it feels like I would have met the person that I've been talking about what have you been doing for the last 30 years

catch me up exactly love that and likewise if you're an anxious attachment attachment style then you know you don't want to meet a great person because the anxious attachment style can sometimes do the opposite and actually push them away so it's all of them things that you need to be learning about and yeah we've got a whole episode on attachment styles which is really exciting I hope if you're listening to this now and you've been really like exhausted about dating or you're just thinking never going to find them think about it now is there work is there a reason why he hasn't come yet when we're talking is there like oh actually you know what i wouldn't want to make a fearful avoidant because

right now that would not work for the what i am so don't worry about them they're doing what they've got to do worry about you do it now start today you baby um so then things that you do do to fill your time hobbies the things that you do that make you really happy being single where do you catch yourself in those moments going oh this is so good I'll tell you a moment when I was like wow this is great I decided to travel on my own for the first time I went to Brussels I was there for four days. And on my last night, there's this beautiful square. Oh, absolutely stunning.

If you haven't been, it's beautiful. And I went and got a Haagen-Dazs ice cream, strawberry cheesecake. I went and put my AirPods in, listening to just like such fun songs. And I sat down on the floor in the square because everyone just sits down. There's like buskers and stuff.

And I thought, wow, I would never be able to do this if I was with somebody. He would be with Meg and we'd be talking. They'd be making noise. Yeah, making noise and we'd be having a drink.

But this time, I will think back to this when I'm like married and be like, that was me. I was the main character of my life at that moment and I could have cried with like, I wasn't, I'm not done yet.

Like there's still moments like this that I can have that. I'm like, oh my gosh, I love me. I love that. That's so good though. And those moments can come in really simple ones as well. The simplicity moments. So I sometimes feel that in really like dull moments, like I'm cooking my eggs and they've gone perfectly poached

with my avocado in the morning with my coffee and I'm just sat. In your flat that's yours. Yeah, exactly. It's mine, I own it. No one can take that away from me. Well, unless they don't pay it, but. Bank, you can take it away from me, but don't please. And literally that's just, I'm in control.

And actually owning a place for me was a big part of that. My career is out of my control being freelance. Love and relationships is so out of in control. And actually owning a place for me was a big part of that. My career is out of my control being freelance. Love and relationships is so out of your control. For me, that one little hub in my control feels really good. Yeah, I completely get that. We all need that kind of one thing that we feel a little bit in control of. So we don't feel like we're completely losing it. But yeah, those little moments can be,

even when I, if I take myself for literally a 5K run and I find myself at a really nice viewpoint and the sun is shining down on my face. I've, I've been literally looking up to the sun recently, just getting that vitamin D on my face thinking, this is what it's about. It's not that bad. Let's not waste our time chasing people or, you know, someone's not getting back to me as often as I would like them to or not arranging. as often as I would like them to or not arranging. And I'm just like, you know what, in the grand scheme of it, this doesn't matter because one day someone is literally not going to let me go.

Like they're not going to want to lose me. So they won't even give the chance. He's on a 10km run right now. Yeah, literally. Sun's in his face. He better be. Work on those calves, boy. 100%. No, that's true.

I absolutely love that. So I think that's really important. But actual like activities that I've taken up, 100% no that's that's true I absolutely love that so I think that's really important but actual like activities that I've taken up I've been doing some like wellness walks in my local area that um are on Sundays for women but they also do them for men every other week which is lovely so I've actually built up a lot of men walking and it's just to meet loads of lovely ladies so I've met some new lovely friends and this is what the Daisy Dates Facebook group was about as well meeting people meeting friends that perhaps as we get older and people settle down it's harder to go

out with people and be you know out and about if you do want to meet people you do need to be out and about wherever that may be whether it's park or the gym or bars pubs day drinking you do need to be out and about um so meeting new friends has i think i've met a lot of my closer friends in the last few years and I think that's become really important like expanding friendship groups so that you're not only relying on if you live with a housemate or you're not only relying on your sister or your family member or your best friend that is busy all the time you need other people it's back to what I said at the beginning it's being happy single or is it is it that you're not happy single is it that you're not happy alone because you can change that by doing that that you just said exactly and then I recently went climbing

have you ever been bouldering I used to go when I was younger really such a fun hobby it was actually for a job I was filming oh so yeah yeah with a Paralympian but I was like oh yes there's a hobby now it's an expenny hobby is it well yeah I think it's like 16 quid every time you go so it's not something that I'm going to be doing weekly. But again, that's something that's quite a sociable place to meet people. Like you kind of, yeah, it's quite social in the middle before you climb. But also I joined a netball team. Like it's just about filling your time. Guys has been doing it all.

Oh, yeah. Reading books. Like look at me and my little busy life on my own. But that's the thing. It is about doing that, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And if you're but that's the thing it is about doing it is yeah yeah and if you is if you're thinking oh maybe it is that I'm just not that happy alone get out do all these kind of things go just meet people change your circle because circles change people get boyfriends then suddenly you feel like oh everyone's got a boyfriend now I'm left on my own

no no just change your circle a bit they can still be your friends but make new friends exactly yeah and remember it's the circle of life like it ebbs and flows like last year I got a boyfriend and my best friend was a bit gutted she was like oh we're not single and then you know he turned out to not be very nice he cheated on me so uh tiktok followers will know that one he cheated on me in Dubai um but yeah and I was like you know we're both single again now like it ebbs and flows yeah on that note though we kind of touched on it earlier but when it does come to inviting someone into your life and them coming in I think it's really important to not make them feel like you're so happy alone that you don't need them particularly I do think men generally like to feel like they're needed and wanted yeah it's in their

you know it's in their science the way they're built they need to be like welcomed and they want to protect they want to be getting that I think women tend to forget that men want to be wanted too so we need to remember that I I'm very guilty of it being like oh I don't need anyone I'm well good alone and I'm like actually how that must make someone feel on like a third date. When that's what their role would be. And it does come to just being humans. That's simply, it comes to being humans and having instincts.

And me and Daisy, this is one of the reasons we started the podcast. We'll get into it in another episode, but we really had a deep chat about this. Men and women, we don't, especially nowadays, we feel like we don't need men as much. So they feel less needed

yeah which it's not that we we do we're never gonna you never know how the world's gonna change right now we're never gonna need them but we should want them and they should feel at least wanted i don't even feel that they feel wanted anymore so it is a hard it's hard to be like i'm happy single but also i kind of would like you in my life but it's i don't i have got no advice on how to find that balance so i don't think i've found it yet yeah and we are going to get into this on another episode but just to kind of touch on it talking of you know there's a lot more women now having babies alone and this is great and if you if you get to that point and you can financially and every in every way it is amazing that we can do that now yeah don't get me wrong I thought about should I be

saving the funds so if I get to a certain age and I haven't met someone yet, but we have to remember that ultimately we don't want to be doing that instead of life. If the person comes. Giving up. Yeah, don't give up. Ultimately, I don't want to block the idea of that person coming. I'd love to have the baby with the person that I love and loves me. And that's where we need to remember to not be blocking

people out you can be really happy single and independent but also you're still allowed to that vulnerable side of wanting someone we're living in a world where for me as a woman men exist we live on the planet with them we don't need to be against them yeah fight them or be unlike the other way around yeah and the way around other way around. Because men have been, yeah. 100%, yeah. But for me as a woman, I walk around the planet and yeah, what is it going to help either genders to not get on or to think opposing thoughts all of the time? It feels like we're fighting all of the time and I think it starts from being kinder to each other. Yeah, 100%.

And this comes from a girl that was single for seven years, but it doesn't mean that you have to constantly tear men down. I think that's where, that's one of the big problems with dating and I think we we can start now like us just yeah to telling you guys like start now being kinder and yes you don't need them but if you want them just tell them and men as well tell the woman because we all start to be needed but yeah yeah yeah um being independent um just remember that you're still allowed to love your life single but still go on a date because sometimes I feel like I'm so happy single I don't need anyone and again

trying not to say that but if I have been like oh I'm just happy and then a friend finds out that I'm on a date on Friday night they were like well I thought you were happy and I'm like you're still allowed to be happy single and allow it in and I think that's where we're not being vulnerable enough as humans to be like we still want that connection you're allowed to live your best life go solo traveling have your career do everything you want to do but still want that person yeah because instinct that's why humans are put on the earth we have to meet like we were and I think that if because it's really hard when you're actually happy being single and people just think you're logging show on this podcast because I think we did a good job

at telling you that we really are happy with our life single, I think. Really are, but I would so welcome an amazing guy. Yeah. And he would be so welcome in my space. And that's the difference, like I'm so ready for it because I've built my life whilst being single. And that's where, you know, even if you're going for a breakup, having that time single is so important

to have the time to build the life you want rather than trying to do that whilst dating someone. That's tricky. Yeah, 100%. And, you know, I can't wait to catch up with him when he turns up. Can't wait. I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder what he's doing right now.

Maybe a podcast. Yeah, he's out there somewhere. And for the finale question of the podcast, how happy would you say you are on a scale of one to ten? Single. So I knew this question was coming. And you know what? After I've chatted about it, I've gone from like a five to a nine.

Do you know what I mean? You know when you meet another woman that feels the same and you're just like, actually, I'm having a great time. But I'd say five because I'd be happy with either. So to say that I'm 100% happy would be a lie. But to say that I'm not would be a lie. If somebody came, I'd be happy. If they didn't, I'd be happy.

Not forever, but for the next couple of years. So I'd just say five. I'm a five out of ten happy with being single. Okay, solid. So I was actually going to go for a seven. So you've made me feel bad now. But yeah, I was going to go for a seven so you've made me feel bad now but yeah I was gonna go for a seven I did say I'd be a nine but maybe you feel like a seven now because we just had a great chat yeah I'm a seven happy as in ten being like so so so so perfectly

happy I am very happy single um so I would say a seven but also I'm talking to somebody so that always makes it feel a little bit more like oh maybe four like a five do you know I mean maybe four wasn't then I'd be like seven as well yeah I'm a seven and I'm yeah just happy I'm so not gushy like that either that doesn't that's not what I was trying to say I sounded wild cheesy then he'd probably be gone off the scene next time you speak to me that's why I don't post about it if I am talking to someone because I'm like well it'll probably last a week and I'm'll be back to square one but that's why it's also important to have lots of single people in your mix of friendship groups they understand that

rather than your married friend being like why are you always only in the talking space not only that is there like I like this one so you say that about everyone yes but it doesn't mean he'll stick around right join us for our next episode and if you did like this one please like and subscribe we're

everywhere aren't we everywhere and like um let us know what are you out of 10 if you're single right now what are you out of 10 make daisy feel better because she said seven yeah am i too happy no you can't be too happy you can join us on the daisy dates facebook group that is for ladies only just because women open up and share their dilemmas so I'm keeping that a safe space for ladies but otherwise every gender everyone men you are welcome

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