Daisie Dates - EP21 ROMANTICISE your own life, baby!

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, welcome to Daisy Dates where I talk all things dating, relationships, dating apps, love, finding love and navigating it as well and everything in between this podcast is for anyone that's single or also in a relationship particularly if you're in a relationship my episodes with guests like experts in their fields like love coaches and love therapists are absolutely excellent and my episodes on my own you'll still learn loads but after having dated for so long throughout my 20s and being single for such huge part of it I'm kind of now giving my teachings and learnings on my experience and also telling all of my stories so hey even if you don't feel like you want to learn how to date better you can just stick around for the

Starting point is 00:01:05 juicy goss and the dramas anyway I'm Daisy I am your host and well welcome back to another episode well into season three I do hope you're enjoying it and just a reminder to like subscribe and follow and share as well like rate if you enjoy this episode please rate it especially like on Spotify all of those statistics and like ratings and views all really help to propel it towards other people and help other people find these episodes and find the podcast which just means more and more people will be dating better and more healthily so what a better world we could create. Today I want to talk about romanticizing your life but also being in a relationship after being single for so long as well.

Starting point is 00:01:48 When I got into a relationship about eight months ago now, do you know how many people, and still people now that I haven't seen in a while, congratulated me? And I'm literally like, why are you congratulating me? I've had a lot of people be like you look so happy and I am but I feel like they're just saying it's have a partner now I was always happy I always looked happy before too they're like you look glowing on your socials and I'm like I was always glowing I'm not only glowing now like no one's done that to me I've done that to me with with what I eat and what I put on my face and what I nourish my body with I've done that to me with with what I eat and what I put on my face and what I nourish my body with I've done that no one else has and they've been like oh congratulations I know it's

Starting point is 00:02:31 what you really wanted and it's a really weird one because obviously it's people you know always just find something to say if you bump into someone or whatever and obviously it's a nice thing to say and they are being nice so I'm not the kind of person where someone says something nice and you know you're just like oh that's annoying I'm not like that but I kind of find it annoying because I'm like I don't need to be congratulated but also it's not what I really wanted it's something that I spoke about a lot online because I was getting frustrated with the dating world and you know I started creating content about dating but that doesn't mean that I was like like, desperate to get in a relationship and that now you can all, like, congratulate me on it.

Starting point is 00:03:09 That isn't, that isn't, yeah, I just didn't, I don't feel like I need to be congratulated. Like, I didn't meet my partner and think, oh, yes, this is it now. Like, set for life, perfect, I'm so happy. That isn't the feeling that you get when you when you meet someone you know I I feel safe and secure and stable in a really healthy relationship I don't ever feel anxious he never yet has given me an anxious feeling in my tummy about willy text he's very consistent his actions match his words but that doesn't mean that I need to be like congratulated that I found this great person um and I've just found it a little bit weird like I'm still the same person I'm still

Starting point is 00:03:52 the same me like being in a relationship hasn't changed anything and I think this is quite an important thing to note as well especially if you are someone that's like messaged me and you're like oh I've been dating for so long and it's just not working out or if you feel like you've been dating and you know going in circles and never meeting the kind of person you want to meet and you just want to give up on dating just remember that like your life doesn't drastically change when you do meet someone great like I mean for some people it does I guess if I don't know what's if like you're someone that really wants a man to take care of you in terms of money you could meet a really rich man and suddenly you live in a mansion and they take care of you and you can just stay at

Starting point is 00:04:35 home doing nothing all day that's a drastic change but generally your life doesn't change drastically just because you meet someone lovely. I don't feel different. I'm still the same me. I look after myself the same. I romanticise my life the same. I do all my self-care, self-help, you know, read all the same self-help books that I've always read. I'm the same me, just maybe in a more stable, steadier relationship than I ever have been before. Well, not maybe maybe I definitely am and also maybe I am a little bit more calm perhaps like I think my partner has we've been good for each other in different ways so although we are very similar like very similar in terms of

Starting point is 00:05:19 characteristics and like energy and stuff he's quite hyper I'm quite hyper he's always up for doing stuff me too um but he's also like really calm and quite children laid back and I that's really helped me to like really sit into that side of me that well I guess didn't really exist I wasn't really calm but now I'm I'm much calmer so yeah like I guess small things have changed but my life hasn't changed drastically just because I'm in a relationship and I'm just hoping that that can be a bit of a comfort to you if especially if you're dating right now a lot you'll find it hard that just remember that you're you're you might have this goal to meet this great person and this expectation of what you want in a person and you know when you reach this goal of finding a partner, your life will be great.

Starting point is 00:06:07 It isn't like that. Like, you know, all the same stresses exist for me. Like, I'm a freelance presenter. So all the same job worries or I need to find a job or, you know, financial stuff. I still have to pay my mortgage every month. And all of those things stay the same. Like, nothing around you changes. You just have more of like a best friend around all the time

Starting point is 00:06:27 to do stuff with and things like that. So I guess less lonely if you're someone that experiences loneliness quite badly. So yeah, I'm hoping that's a little bit comforting. Like you expect that your life just changes and it doesn't. Which that's why a big point of mine from the back of that, hopefully really off of comfort, is that's why you really need to make a life that you love. Because you're still doing that same life just when you meet someone. You're just maybe making more time for someone when you do meet them. But, you know, you need to ensure that you're doing all of the stuff that you love all of the time and making a life that

Starting point is 00:07:05 you love all of the time you know in times of living where you want and having a job that you want and creating the people around you that you want and spending the time with the people that you want and doing everything you want because you will carry that on you'll just have someone there when you meet a partner like enhancing your life and making everything better. But it's up to you now to like, especially whilst you're single, it's so, I think so much easier when you're single to really like work on yourself and create the space for you and do everything for you and be really selfish with what you want. Because you will get to keep all of those things and tools when you actually do meet someone and then you have them tools for life. So what I'm talking about here when I say tools is like the ability to self-soothe and look after yourself. If you feel a bit anxious, what do you do?

Starting point is 00:07:53 Well, I know to like go for a run or I need to like get out and go for a walk. Yesterday when I just wanted to relax and treat myself, I had some good news. I had some good job news. What do I do? myself because I had some good news I had some good job news what do I do like just because I have a partner doesn't mean that I am going to celebrate it with them if that you know if he's like busy at work or if he's getting home late I can still celebrate it myself for me I wanted to celebrate it myself for me so what did I do well it's about me running a bath with a beautiful bath bomb and don't get me wrong my partner bought me that bath bomb um back when I was in Cinderella as like you know please relax Cinderella type thing

Starting point is 00:08:30 so I finally used the bath bomb but I made this bath for myself and got some zero alcohol prosecco which I would highly recommend by the way you can message me and ask me if you want to find out the brand because it is so, so good. And I'm trying to be really healthy in the week and only have alcohol on the weekends. And I love a glass of wine. And I think particularly when you do meet someone and you're going out a lot and you're over meals and you're having nice evenings in with someone, you tend to like crack open a bottle of wine. So I'm just trying to drink less in the week.

Starting point is 00:08:59 So that was lovely. But I poured it in a beautiful heart-shaped Prosecco glass. I really romanticized my life um last night and then I bought Cosmo to read in the bath and it was just all beautiful I even took in some fairy lights to the bathroom and lit them and had a bath in the dark but with fairy lights on and it was completely romanticizing my life and I I truly think that I've learned to do all of those things consistently whilst being single. So no one is doing that for you when you're single. Like no one is lighting your fairy, putting on your fairy lights, changing the batteries, making sure they work, popping on a candle for you, cooking dinner for you, getting yourself flowers.

Starting point is 00:09:42 No one is doing them things, right? A friend might and a family member might occasionally, but no one is consistently doing these things for you cooking dinner for you getting yourself flowers no one is doing them things right a friend might and a family member might occasionally but no one is consistently doing these things for you um so you do it for yourself right and if you don't these are the things that you need to be doing for yourself you need to be around to size in your life run yourself a bath and have a glass of prosecco or wine or whatever and make yourself a beautiful dinner just for you like if you're you know whether that's a really nourishing one for you and your body or if that's like a really naughty takeaway enjoy those nights like I really did used to enjoy like just getting an Indian takeaway and watching

Starting point is 00:10:14 what I wanted to watch just on my own with a candle and don't get me wrong, I loved, I really do still love my own company, but I did when I was single as well. Like sometimes, honestly, my sister would invite me out or like over to her house and I'd be like, no, sorry, I've had a really hard week. And like, I just want to stay in there with takeaway and I just stay where I am so I can have like a glass of wine to myself and just chill and wake up in my own bed and lay in. myself and just chill and wake up in my own bed and lay in and her response to that would genuinely be are you have you got someone around like are you on a date slash have you invited a guy around and I'd be like what no I genuinely want this time on my own but she was like oh surely you might as well just see me then if you're on your own I'm like no I need this time on my own I need it for my week to go well for me to start the weekend well blah blah blah I just need it I've always been that kind of person though um and I socialize a lot anyway like all through the

Starting point is 00:11:11 week and at the weekends was like this night is just for me and I completely enjoyed those romantic nights on my own being romantic with myself basically and that's so important especially if you're spending a long time single to be able to do yourself without relying on anyone else to do now don't get me wrong I'm not expecting a partner to do all of these things for me ever but obviously a partner given they're the right one and it's you know your love language and you want romance in your relationship they will bring more romance to your life like my partner gets me beautiful flowers as a surprise you know quite frequently but it's always a nice surprise. He'll bring home my favourite chocolates or he, you know, I woke up this morning, he had left for work.

Starting point is 00:11:50 So I got up a little bit later and he'd folded all my washings. It's just ready to go straight into drawers. I appreciate stuff like that so much. It's those little things where like, you know, I mean, that isn't romantic, is it? Folding, washing, but you know, it is part of a love language. I mean, that isn't romantic, is it, folding and washing? But, you know, it is part of a love language. He's helping me contribute to my chores so that I can just have a bit of an easier morning

Starting point is 00:12:08 and wake up and have a coffee, blah, blah, blah. Oh, actually, he did make me coffee in bed this morning whilst he got ready for work. So, you know, that's romanticising. He's completely romanticising, you know, our life and our relationship. But I think it's really important for you to be able to do that for yourself. Like, if you're single, get up, make a coffee, come back to bed, drink it in bed, make yourself the coffee. Romanticizing your life is so important. And it doesn't have to be like, you know, coffees and bougie stuff. It can literally be in taking

Starting point is 00:12:40 yourself out for a walk and listening to your favorite podcast or your favorite music. You know, on a summer's day when that sun is hitting your face and the wind is in all the right places and you know you just feel good and you feel like you're in a movie those moments are just so great and I think you you build those moments and I said tools didn't I like the tools that you need when you're feeling stressed or anxious, whatever you do, like if you go for a run or you get yourself a cuppa and you sit down. These tools to navigate and self-soothe and be kind to yourself. If you can take them into a relationship,

Starting point is 00:13:16 you will already, you know, have a healthy relationship because you've got a healthy relationship with yourself. And that's why romanticising your life is so so important and if you're not doing this frequently yet well I urge you to thank you for listening to another episode of Daisy Dates podcast you can message me anytime my inbox is always open for advice and dms and stuff I'm Daisy Dates podcast on Instagram Daisy bell on instagram and daisy bell six on tiktok please come and join the daisy dates community daisy dates on facebook is a group of 2000 women that all support each other with relationship advice slash there's also meetups

Starting point is 00:13:57 that people arrange themselves just whether you're single or in a relationship to expand your friendship groups um with women basically and yeah I try and host meetups every now and then as well to get women together to enhance our friendship groups so please like subscribe follow please share please tell people about Daisy Dates podcast it really helps and I'll speak to you next time

Daisie Dates - EP21 ROMANTICISE your own life, baby!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.