Daisie Dates - EP22 Been on a date? SEND THE TEXT FIRST!

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

Hey you, If you've just come off a date, come listen RIGHT NOW! Welcome to this mini episode where I chat about being VULNERABLE when dating - I know, scary right?! Remember, the other person will be feeling the same as you - it's always daunting to send that check-in text, so TAKE THE PLUNGE and do it first. I chat about why that'll then help put the ball in THEIR court for asking you on that next date ;) Enjoy this episode and remember to rate it if you like it! You can send your dating dilemmas, issues and questions to: Insta: @daisiedatespodcast & the Daisie Dates Facebook Group, too! P.S This is a relationships and dating podcast which is in the podcast charts. I cover mindset, heartbreak, rewiring thoughts and we chat all things finding love, aswell as finding ways for being happy single and embracing dating, choosing to not date at all or just having fun!  Follow everywhere  Insta: @daisiedatespodcast and @daisiebelle TikTok: @daisiebelle6 @daisiedatespodcast PLEASE like and subscribe or leave a review - every little helps and this podcast is produced, presented, filmed and edited by me. Enjoy the episode!! Dais xo

Hey guys, welcome to the Daisy Dates podcast where I talk all things dating, mindset, heartbreak, dating apps, relationships and everything in between. Welcome back to another episode. We're well into season three. My name's Daisy. I'm the host. I created Daisy Dates on TikTok when I was really struggling with dating and a lot of you really related. So off the back of that, quite a while later, I decided to make a podcast. Please go back and listen to all the episodes if you haven't yet if you have listened to them all and you've been bursting for season three can you please let me know that I mean you do in my messages and I love it please never stop that but please can you also let me know that

by liking subscribing and rating the episode because it helps other people to be able to find it and it grows the podcast should we get get into this episode? This one, well, you might be listening if you've just come off a date. Let's talk about being vulnerable when dating. Oh, horrible, isn't it? Horrible. But I've already spoken about being your most authentic you and I've spoken about expectations of dating in the last episode. The expectations that we have, especially the expectations that, you know, if we're talking about heterosexual relationships the expectations that women put on men and you like expect the man to text you straight after a date that's all well

and good okay like I've said so many times before and I'll keep shouting about it and you know I'll always remind you to keep your standards and boundaries but why can't you just text a guy after a date okay because what I've learned is that sometimes guys lack confidence as well and sometimes a guy needs to know that you like them I've kind of learned this from my own relationship at the minute I guess I've always been I haven't always been but like oblivious to a guy's feelings sometimes you always think that a guy breaks up with you and they'll be out there like you know having sex with other people straight away or you think they won't be mourning the relationship at all or you think that guys are just out there dating loads of people

or dating loads of girls at once and that they're texting multiple girls. You know what I've learned? Actually, that isn't true. I think we all know that guys tend to deal with breakups months after when it's like too late. They like go out there, they go out a lot, they go out with a lot of their single friends, they might meet a lot of girls and it looks like they're having loads of fun but then it's months later that it really hits them

and normally they end up trying to come back. Whereas women are so strong, they deal with it immediately. They go through all the motions of a heart heartbreak and they deal with it at the time it's happening obviously this is generally speaking and then they tend to move on and normally by the time it hits the guy the breakups happen the woman has already moved on I think that happens a lot I think a lot of you will agree with me and in my personal experience, that's what's happened. And I think we just think that a guy doesn't experience the same emotions as we do in dating, but we have to remember that they do.

So when speaking to my partner about like our single life, talking about when we weren't together and like, were we texting a lot of people, were we going on a lot of dates? Because we enjoyed talking about it. Like we both were dating quite a lot, and we were both dating quite similarly, we've learned. Like, just kind of dating with expecting for it to never work out, and then for whatever reason, me and him came together, and we both decided to date healthier and in a better way,

and I think that's a big reason why it's worked as well. But, you know, he said he'd get loads of messages from girls from his past that pop up often, or, you know, girls that'd be like, oh, do you want to pop around, you know, he said he'd get loads of messages from girls from his past that pop up often. And or, you know, girls that be like, oh, do you want to pop around? You know, on a Saturday night, you wouldn't have anything to do. His housemate might have been out and he was just sat there alone, watch TV. And he said half the time he'd be like, nah, can't be bothered to like go and have one night stand or can't be bothered to go out and like meet a girl and have to like get up you know look all nice shower shave and go to someone's house then wake up with them and feel groggy or want to leave immediately after he was like half the time he could not be bothered for that and I think we forget that they have all the

same emotions that we do too like half the time we can't be bothered to go on a date right we can't bother to curl our hair and makeup and whatever like half the time dating is exhausting for all of us um and and guys experience a lot of the same emotions too. So coming back around to texting them after a date, you know, they're going to be feeling the same as you. If you like them and they like you, they're going to be feeling all the same things. Like, will she text me? Did she like me? All of those kinds of things that we'll be thinking about them. If you didn't like them and you're worried to reject them, they might also be feeling the same as you.

Like, who's going to kind of say, oh, it was really lovely, but, you know, I'm not going to take it any further. So I'm here to try and get you to text them first after your next date if you like them. And I'm not saying it's a race to text them first like give the space for them to maybe text you first but let's take away this expectation that a guy should text you first after a first date why don't you show vulnerability and actually be like that was a really lovely night it would be great to do it again sometime. That is casual. It is not asking for too much. It is not, you know, going to make him feel a certain way like, oh, too much. All that is going to do, if he likes you and if he's the right kind of guy to be dating, like, you know, if he matches up with you, he will receive that text and feel how you would if you received that text from them, which generally should be, you know, a little bit flattered, a lot flattered.

And like, wow, it's really nice of her to let me know that. And then actually what texting them first does is if you're like, had a really great time, would love to do it sometime else. Again, that gives them the opening door to actually message you and be like yeah how about Friday or you know yeah what would you like to do next would absolutely love to see you again too thanks for the text what you fancy doing next time whereas if they text you test in the waters had a great time tonight would like to see you again kind of leaves the ball in your court to be like, okay, yeah, let's go here, which is fine because I've already spoken about expectations

and how we can also be taking control of dates too. But if you don't want that, why not text first? And then the ball really is in their court. So if you do want a guy to truly kind of take that control and dominate, then that's a great way to ensure that he can do that by texting first. So I'm encouraging you in this mini episode to just get a little bit vulnerable and don't worry about what they're going to think of that text

because the right person will adore a text like that because you would adore a text like that, right? From someone that you liked. So why would they not adore it from you too? So send the text. And if you liked this episode and if you did send the text, I would absolutely love to know about it. I'm Daisy Dates Podcast on Instagram.

I'm Daisy Bell on Instagram. And I'm Daisy Bell 6 on TikTok. Thank you for listening. Like, subscribe, follow. And you can listen and watch on all platforms. See you next time.