Daisie Dates - EP3 CAN WE DELETE THE DATING APPS ALREADY?!

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Welcome back to Episode 3 of the "Daisie Dates" podcast! Today, we're tackling the big question: Have dating apps improved or hindered our love lives? We're diving into what women are looking for on dating sites and sharing our own horror stories from the past weekend. We also share our dating app profiles in REAL TIME - so we both have some critiques!! We want to hear from you! Would you be willing to delete dating apps altogether if given the choice? You can voice note us on Spotify, too! Share your thoughts with us on our social media platforms - you can find the podcast everywhere @daisiedatespodcast. Don't forget to hit that follow button to stay updated on all of the latest episodes! Love, Daisie xo

Hello, welcome to the Daisy Dates podcast where we talk all things dating of course. Heartbreak firsts, lasts, attachments, does, everything to do with dating, we're going to be talking about it right here. I'm Daisy. And I'm Sian. And today's episode is all about the dreaded dating apps. Dreaded? Not so much for Meg at the moment, but I can see why they get tedious.

Sian is absolutely loving her life on the dating apps right now, aren't you? I'm just loving the dating life at the minute, I can't lie. So you're quite fresh to this as we kind of gathered in episode one yeah so because you're so new to it I think you've got like that energy to go in with it like full you know full swing put your all into it yeah and if there's anything that I've learned from the last two episodes is that I need to find my boyfriend within the year because I think I'll get bored after the year so I need to enjoy this time I just don't want to get bored of it I want to I would love to enjoy it how I am now and then find the person at the right time and it just work out perfectly and not have to feel

any sort of bad vibes towards dating because it's so fun for me at the minute yeah I hope it doesn't tire because I'm I'm a little bit envious of how fun it is for you I am on the other side I've been using dating apps since they came out, what, seven or something years ago. To be fair, when I was living in London at the time and I was, what, 22, 21, it was fun. Dating is so fun at that age because you've not got anything to worry about.

You just think they're fit, great, let's go with it. But now, when you're looking for something so specific and you know what you're looking for, and I've been on enough dates to know exactly what I want and what I don't it's so hard to find and you feel like the biological clock is ticking and I think that just happens to all women as they start heading into their 30s this has only just happened recently since my latest birthday and it's a really weird one because I'm still surrounded by so many girls a few years older than me that are single and I think they're fabulous.

So I'm like, I've got nothing to worry about, nor have they, but it does come as a woman as like just a natural, it feels like a ticking clock. Yeah, but we've all got so much time and we're not on the shelf, but I can see why it feels like that. And like I said, I'm just lucky that I took that seven years off and now I've started it and it's so fun because I can see people are literally losing the will yeah yeah oh god so dating apps aren't going away anytime soon do you want to know how many people are using dating apps worldwide can I guess first

yeah have a guess worldwide yeah I mean I don billy is there billions of people on the planet yeah do they say there's like 7.5 billion or something okay so i'm gonna say 184 million 184 million yeah yeah that's a good guess to be fair apparently and the data is a little bit blurry not enough people are doing studies on dating apps by the way We need more of it. 441 million active users worldwide. Whoa, my guess was off. Yeah, that's how many people are on this app. So many, and yet we can't find our partner. So this is what I'm thinking, right,

because I think it's slim pickings on dating apps at the minute. But I'm like, if there's that many people, obviously that's a worldwide number, but there has to be enough people on there. But I just, I go on for 10 minutes I swipe I don't like anyone not getting any matches I come off and I feel the same as when I went on like this is rubbish yeah I still feel like there's people that are looking for a lot less than maybe what we are as women that are in business and have a lot going on. I'm not saying this bad to anybody.

There's just people that are happy to settle down, have a family, and that's what they want to do in life, and that's instinct. So I think there's less of us that are looking for more, less men that are looking for more. So I just don't feel like there's as many men for us as there is for people that are ready to settle down and have a family straight away and just want that nice little traditional life i just think there's more of them out there than there is of us yeah absolutely and i think women are going for the same 20 of men

on dating apps so the ones that we are going for are the ones getting all the attention as well yeah and they say women swipe four percent at the time and men swipe 60 at the time and that is not evening out so at some point someone's going to feel either rejected or there's not enough people and that's what's happening on both side agendas I think yeah exactly and then there's the lying that comes with the dating app as well so people saying that they're looking for something serious 80% actually say on an app that they're looking for an actual relationship, which is a total lie. Okay, you think that's a lie?

It's a total lie, isn't it? It's a total lie. I feel like Daisy teaches me. She's like, I'm a novice, and she just gives me all the insights when it comes to dating and dating apps. I give you the real source because I've got more stats here, Sian. 36% of men say that they're using online dating for sex compared to just 14% of women.

Men, calm yourselves down. What a joke. That's why I said get off Tinder. Get off Tinder. Tinder is why they are all out, that 36% are all on Tinder. And it's the most used app globally as well. Is it?

Yeah. That's mad. I think we, no, don't boycott Tinder. But I think we should stop using Tinder as women, for sure. We should be using Bumble or Hinge, where I think people are taking it seriously. And maybe that's why I'm not as tired yet, because I don't get horrible DMs.

I don't get dick pics. I don't get weird messages about sex. I just get normal boys that are talking to me, because I don't step foot on Tinder. I'd love to know if anyone has great success stories from Tinder in recent times, because I'm sure it was great five years ago, ten years ago. But I'd love to know how many success stories there are from Tinder in recent times. Yeah, I think the pandemic has made dating really weird.

Okay. I never dated before the pandemic, what like what in what way I think more people concentrated on living on living on their own and being happy with their life working on their career I think it caused a lot of people stirring up kind of different emotions on how they felt about a relationship and people had to sit with their emotions and feelings so I think people realized you know if they had any mental health problems that they had to work on as well people a lot more people going to therapy I think it's changed because in that like it was a year wasn't it it was a whole year of not socializing properly maybe more than that I think people yeah people got in the habit of like not being at the pub not going out the weekend

like I've stayed in a few of these bank holidays because not a lot of people were like going out and when I was out there wasn't many people around yeah bank holiday isn't what it used to be no exactly sure and I think that is a pandemic thing and maybe we um not socially awkward that's the wrong word but um scared of socializing maybe more than we would have been before covid because we spent so much time isolated maybe we boys and girls alike don't feel as confident to approach people yeah because we're just a bit more socially awkward than we would have been before the pandemic because for people like me I was shielding I was in the vulnerable

category so I literally had no I didn't see anybody that entire time because shielding people just left and I was in my bedroom and I wasn't allowed to see anybody that I lived with, any of my family. I wasn't allowed to go for a walk with my friends. So I really was just on my own and I wasn't vulnerable in a way that I didn't live life on a daily basis. So it really affected me that I was stuck in that room with nobody. So, yeah, I could see how that would change the dating world.

And luckily, maybe that's why I'm a bit naive because I don't remember what it was like before. Yeah, I've done like the transition. That's so interesting though because I do think that's why it's made bit naive because I don't remember what it was like before. Yeah, I've done like the transition. That's so interesting though because I do think that's why it's made people a little bit more awkward. And then you've got the other side of people actually being scared to go up to people in real life because of how it might be perceived. So particularly men, I think since the whole Me Too movement came out, people are a little bit scared on how they should be approached.

I think they're so scared that women will just be quick to kind of bite at them and be like, don't come near me, you creep. I think that because of that, we kind of just have to accept that dating apps aren't going anywhere. So we actually do have to use them no matter how we feel about them. But I will say I was out this weekend and there was a boy that I fancied and I thought he was really fit.

And because I knew that men don't feel the same way about approaching women anymore because how it was perceived I just put myself in their shoes and he's like you know he might fancy somebody in this bar but he doesn't want to go up to anybody and look creepy so I'm going to go up to him so and that that made it work I felt like that made it work and it was just kind of like right the ball's in my court I'm a girl and if I go up to him, that's not creepy, and then he knows that I'm interested. So I just took the control back, and I felt like maybe that's the way forward for us at the moment. It's just be like, this is not creepy, I fancy you,

I'll take the control a little bit, and then you can relax, and then you can start flirting with me, and then you can buy me a drink, and then we can get back into traditional views. But I need to reach out first. And it worked. I got his number, so it worked. Well, I had the opposite happen. Yeah, you haven't told me the actual story.

Oh, I went to the theatre and there was a guy looking at me and I was like, he's really cute. So we did, my friend was like, let's stand near him. He's really good looking, but so is the friend. So what one do you go for? So we stood near him and then you know gave me the eye we went back in to watch the second half and I thought this is a weird

environment like to just go up to someone what was good about the environment though was it was actually the live performance of a really great podcast uh called high performance okay a lot of group of lads there and anyone there is going to be aspiring to be doing better things because it's all about high performance so a great environment to be in so I go to the little beer bar like a bar that sells loads of beer had a wine obviously uh next door and he came in so I was like Daisy I have to do this I'm not letting it go I can't go home tonight and not think like and think what if so I took the plunge and by this point I've built it up the girl's like go go go so I'm thinking he's probably he can probably sense he's looked over so many times he can sense I'm about to go up to him I go up to him and I just make a joke like oh you can probably see us like plotting

but I just wondered if you're a single oh you're so I don't know how she does it. You've got such confidence just straight in there. And he just went, oh, no, I'm not. Oh. And he was like, did you enjoy the show? I was like, yeah. I don't want to talk anymore. Yeah, I did. So I'll see you later.

Nice to meet you. I did say, at least you can feel flattered though, but sorry for interrupting you. And he winked at me and went, I do feel very flattered though but sorry for like sorry for interrupting you and he winked at me and went I do feel very flattered oh no that's the thing I think that maybe quite a lot of them might have had girlfriends and I always think this when I try it on with somebody try it on that sounds like I'm yeah let's move on and when I'm going on to somebody I always feel like they could easily say they've got a girlfriend they could easily say and it's just look at the drawer isn't it it was just really look at the drawer that I found the only tool

and I could see girls were trying it on with him in the night anyway so there was like two other girls and I was thinking move away from my man

and I could tell I kind of could get the vibe that he was talking to them and he was single so as soon as he was sat on his own I was like hello

my name's Sian what's yours so you didn't go straight in there you kind of did the chat up line first Daisy never you don't have the same I don't have the time Sian no you didn't go straight in there you kind of knew the chat up line first Daisy never you don't have the same

I don't have the time Sian no Daisy don't have the time and she doesn't have the fear of rejection like I do so my fear of rejection would I would never go

be like oh you're single I went off and went what are you drinking what are you two drinking he and his friend I was like what are you two drinking

I was like it looks nice and one of them was like soda and lime I was like oh you're not drinking white didn't want to talk to you anyway so I moved on to the one that I wanted I was like what are you drinking it was like, what are you two drinking? I was like, it looks nice. And one of them was like, soda and lime. I was like, oh, you're not drinking white. Didn't want to talk to you anyway. So I moved on to the one that I wanted. I was like, what are you drinking?

He was like, vodka. And you know what's always great? I was in Manchester. This is just a little tip for, and because I'm from Birmingham and people absolutely love the Peaky Blinders, it's always a great conversation starter because they're like, where are you from?

And I'm like, guess. And they're like, you sound like a Peaky Blinder. Bam, I'm in. So no, I wouldn't go up and say, are you single? Accents are a good way to get in there, which we lose on dating apps. True. It's good to hear someone's voice.

True. And that's where, with my job, people are lucky. As soon as they follow me on Instagram, they can hear my voice, and I'm not afraid of a voice in it anyway. But I'm like, if I go on a date and you don't like their voice, because voice is a big part, isn't it? Yeah, 100%. It's a conversation starter.

You know, you've got different slangs. You can teach people different... I mean, I think, especially when you're from Birmingham and it's a worldwide accent that people don't tend to like, it's such a conversation starter being from Birmingham, for sure, as yours is probably from having a voice that you've got. Yeah. Yeah, it is, to be fair.

But that's where I think when dating apps you lose all of those little real life instant connections which I think is a real shame but on that note I've got a little game I guess it's a game yeah we're gonna swap phones okay now anyone that knows me or has been listening knows that I am actually off the app so I've downloaded hinge just for this and it remembered all my old information so I'm so legit I haven't read the bios it's from a little while ago I have updated the photos okay last night yeah okay oh this is so cringe because no I'm excited I need to get the love back for it I think it's the area I'm in it it's such slim pickings. I need to be back out in the cities because at the minute where I am, I'm just, I don't fancy, I'm going for a stage where I don't fancy anyone

and it's not like an I hate all men stage. It's definitely not a love men. It's just, I just don't fancy anyone ever. Right, we're swapping phones. She's got my bumble. Oh, you've got a message from louis and also please look at how many i've just not replied wow there's some there's some nice clientele on here oh that's good oh my god i was like sean why is there some girls on here you do bumble for

business yeah is that any good uh no not really but you do get like 30 days to reply instead of 24 someone's extended a match with me there too. Oh, look, Dean's all right as well. Mike, just give him a right swipe for you. So, Sian, social media manager, marketing. Says what uni you went to. Says your age, you're right in there, 30. Business owner, Birmingham. Let's normalise non-negotiables.

I want to actually get to know someone and not, how was your day, as your first message. Thriving relationships in my eyes works when two people have their own lives away from each other independence is key men are gonna love that one because they like going to the football on Saturday and being able to get away from their misses so you're you're already on you know they like that you've put your height you're only five foot four yeah uh You go to the gym sometimes. I look taller. Star sign in case a man... You do look taller, yeah. Star sign in case a man cares about it,

which I find they don't. Yeah, but I'm looking for a Gemini. Specifically? Specifically a Gemini. Okay. I find more men are putting it on their apps now they know... Yeah, that girls are into it. Yeah.

Yeah, but I want a Gemini. That's my next one that I want. I've always dated Pisces. My next target. But my next target is, I actually found out if the tall boy is a Gemini, but the boy that I'm talking to,

oh God, he's making me sound so bad. But if you follow us on Instagram, you know that I'm actually talking to somebody and he's a Gemini. So you're specifically targeting them.

Yeah. You're looking for a relationship. I am. You're not sure about kids yet? Oh, does it say I'm not sure? Yeah. I'm kind of sure. So my stance on kids is kind of, if I didn't have them, I wouldn't cry about it.

But I could probably see myself having one. Okay. So maybe I should change that. I think I, you'll see in a second, I don't have it. Okay. Because I think if you're where you are, neither here or there, you probably don't have anything. For me, I do want them, but sometimes I think I'm not sure. Lots of people are.

Yeah, but we'll talk about that in a bit, because I do wonder if it puts someone off, even if they do want babies. It's a very instant thing to talk about, isn't it? Just straight from an app. I love to get into it, though. Fair enough. I love it. Your first picture's beautiful.

It's actually professionally taken, but it's very natural and you're smiling. Her prompts. The quickest way to my heart is a Sunday roast. is that the most standard girl thing i'm not gonna lie yeah it so is like so many boys say to me what is it with girls and roast and i'm like okay but i'm different because i'm pescatarian so i don't even eat the meat and i still love a roast i love a roast second photo is with friends so you know what one she is instantly but you know she's also got friends so you know that you're normal and it looks fun i've got friends i like your friend's pink dress oh then we look got one that looks like you're abroad um italy you're smiling yeah really nice i um lost a lot of weight uh

recently which we will get into at some point but that was the first photo that i'd taken that i was like oh i kind of like feel myself and i feel like i it's my first ever body one that I'd put on since I'd lost weight, because before that it was all just my face. The next one, we'll get on if you're spontaneous with the little cheeky eyes. Yeah, that should have been my non-negotiable, really, because I can't deal with someone that's not spontaneous. I actually hate it. Like, why are you planning your life out so much?

Let's bring it down. Yeah. What are you doing tomorrow? Spontaneity is key. More photos with friends looks like a dressed up party who did you go as uh dolly parton blonde wig excellent for the fantasy lovers out there and then i'm a great plus one because i'll always bring the tequilas i think that's a solid profile to be fair because you've lined up your serious about dating with your tags

saying that you're looking for a relationship all of that kind of thing non-negotiables you've stated what you're looking for but then you've also like made it light-hearted with photos of the girls and you and like having a drink showing that you liked food and drink as well which i think is important yeah because anyone that maybe doesn't like proper gym goers that eat chicken and rice a week maybe they don't drink i think it's important to align oh i think so yeah and i just wanted them to see that i'm real person and these photos taken by like not me and that's why i've got so many other ones in my friends because i'm just like that is me yeah and they're not gonna be shocked they're gonna see me yeah

because we'll get into another time but one time i was a catfish by accident so i'm very like scared about being a catfish now and i'm not i'm definitely not a catfish by accident so I'm very like scared about being a catfish now and I'm like I'm definitely not a catfish I'm a girl's definitely not look at me I'm Dolly Parton I'm definitely not a catfish I think that's a solid profile I'm impressed I'm surprised you had so many tags actually really yeah I'm surprised that you've lined up so many of your like exactly what you want I don't know why I'm surprised about that because I'm not as direct as you but that's probably why so then I'm really direct in real life but on the apps i'm like not sure okay so you've got three prompt i'll get into your um photos afterwards but three prompts

so her daisy's greatest strength she's put my body language reading skills are on fire it's just a natural skill very handy i think that would scare boys probably i'm sorry i don't think they want to know that i don't even know when i've put that and thought about that yeah wrote it down your greatest strength is that you can read their body language i would say that's a boys would be like great that's all i need is her to think into my body language. I'm going red. That's what I think. I think I was just trying to be different.

All right. Not like a Sunday roast. Yeah, true. I mean, she's got me on that one. She's got me on that one, the Sunday freaking roast. And we might change that. But I don't know what to. Okay.

I'm the type of texter who you get six separate whatsapps at the same time in a row but they're hilarious and all relevant love that yeah that's a bit of me too honest i might steal that copy and paste that put it on well i will say actually that one is the one that gets responses that's the one where people are like oh great daisy but i'll just reply to it all in one message or oh great love the energy oh me too we can have fun like that's the one that yeah that's good about hinges they can reply mine is that i've got a phobia of tornadoes and tsunamis and that gets a lot yeah because they're like yeah must be loads of tornadoes in birmingham i've never heard that one um so the most spontaneous thing that days ever done and this will change in the future but uh visited croatia with 30 randomers two hours before my

flight home booked a different flight plus one day because i didn't want to miss the water park that gets a lot of responses okay love that yeah i love that next day in croatia i feel like too many words to be honest but it is a lot of words but you've already said that in your that you send a lot of whatsapp so i think that's okay i like that your photos are one that I took. Woo! I made it. One of the weekend, you're in the black sparkly outfit, which I complimented you on this morning.

There's cocktails in the background. Oh my God, I love this one. Oh my God, this is like the prettiest picture of you ever. Thank you. So I was in Dubai, so it shows that I travel, because I think that's important. Lots of people travelling.

Where are you travelling there? Barcelona. Barcelona. You've got none with friends? Yeah. I think you could have one with other people. Okay, you need to add them with friends to... Yeah, but are you going to delete this after we're finished?

Because you've been off the dating apps, so you're going back on. Been off the dating apps. I think I'm going to stay on Hinge a little while, pick up some people whilst we're here at the studio. Yeah. Go into London soon, pick up some people there. Okay.

Sometimes I just use it to pick up the people. Okay, we're just picking up the people. Yeah, and then go home and see who's there. Okay, right. So I think we've got all right. I think yours is quite solid, showing exactly what you want. Yeah. Mine, I'm not sure.

Oh, you're not giving serious about dating vibes, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, okay. It's just something to work on, I guess. Because when you meet, I feel like you're more serious than me. Yeah, it's weird, actually. I think our profile should be all the way around. It makes it sound like I'm very much like the hopeless romantic. Yeah.

And that's not the case. How weird. What would you think that you, what do you look out for when a guy is dating up? I look out for that they want a relationship. Anybody that says something casual or i don't know i'm off and i was at a stage in my life where i didn't know what i wanted whether i wanted something casual or not but i still just put relationship and then you can just figure that out so if they say don't know that's just not for me that means you want something

really casual and i'm not into that um i like a bio i like a meaty juicy bio something funny i like a funny photo there's this boy that i always see on bumble and he just has every one of his photos with him you know when they're holding someone's hand from behind and the girl's looking back and she's holding her partner's hand yeah and it's just those but every photo he's like seven photos in different places of him just holding his friend's hand looking back i think it's hilarious i love his profile um so funny photo a bit of a meaty bio and sexy sexy obviously yeah do you look for shared interests no other than i don't like when boys say that they're into festivals just a personal preference i'm just not into festivals

or that kind of scene so yeah same if they say festivals or raves I'm like oh okay we're both the same yeah I wouldn't I wouldn't go for that because that probably involves substances that I just don't want to be around that's what I was trying to get at yeah I said it quite well didn't I yeah you really did yeah uh so apparently 61% of people online look for shared interest and I was like it's hard isn't it because you can tick like creativity running hiking I'm not sure I look for that but you're right the people that write specifically, hiking. I'm not sure I look for that. But you're right, the people that write specifically, not sure what I'm looking for yet.

I'm like, whoa, if you've taken the time to actually write that, I don't swipe them. Yeah, and is a relationship good if you like exactly the same things? I don't know if that works. No. Maybe it does, but for me, my first love, my ex-boyfriend, was a lot obsessed with the Chinese Revolution. I don't know anything about the Chinese Revolution.

He loved Doctor Who. I don't want to about the Chinese Revolution. He loved Doctor Who. I don't want to watch Doctor Who, babes. Do you know what I mean? So we had no shared interest, really. We just had the same sense of humour and we were both ambitious. So I don't really care as long as they're not going to festivals every weekend then.

I don't really care. Well, if they have Star Wars or Harry Potter in their bio, it's a no for me. Really? Yeah. Oh, I'm not kidding. Oh, the boy that I dated that we talked about in episode one, I went to his house one time and he was so so excited he was buzzing and i was like you're drunk

already and he was like no i'm buzzing to show you something i was like what and i walked in and it was a star wars lego and he'd made a baby yoda out of lego and it lit up and he was so excited about it oh wow we have really different types yeah well i didn't know that's what he was going to show me he was like would you not look at my Instagram? I was like, no. And then I walked in and he was like, ta-da. Woo. Wow.

Yeah. Okay. You know, it's nice for someone to have a hobby. It's really nice for someone to have a hobby, like doing Lego and, you know, puzzles. It shows that they're more than, you know, just going to the gym. If you're listening um to this i thought it was cute okay daisy's taking the mic and i thought it was cute well apparently people now are actually using dating apps more mindfully than they used to which i think is true

it used to be well the stats show people are still looking for fun. But I think generally more people are trying to be a bit more mindful by matching people with the same kind of interest by their bios, by the things that you're looking for. I think, again, that comes with age, knowing what you want. Exactly. And I think that maybe if the dating app research was how many men are looking for sex from 26 to 32. Hopefully it would be lower.

Hopefully it would be lower. Hopefully. Hopefully so, because 21... I wouldn't count on it. I'm being optimistic. Hopefully it would be, like, a percent lower, boys, would it? I don't know about that one. Oh, OK.

I told you I'm a novice. I am too optimistic about these dating apps. Boys, you need to get on to me because I am no fresh. I have no pre-perceived negative stuff about dating apps. I'm a great one, so it's okay. So I get loads of icks from dating apps. Okay. Selfies taken by guys.

Not into it. Holding a fish is a massive dating app ick. It's not impressive to us if you've caught like a hundred pound fish or something yeah i don't know if that's heavy for a fish i don't care the one thing i hate is when they have a girl in their first picture i do not understand that i don't i would love to know what's going through your head but i've actually before liked somebody match them just so i can be like hi hon just looking out for you here i don't understand the first picture and why you've got a girl on that first picture. And they're like, it's my sister.

And I'm like, okay, but she doesn't look enough like your sister for people to match you. Just saying. Yeah. Or match. I've actually matched them before. And they're like, oh, it's my ex, but I didn't have any other photos of me. I'm like, cut her out. We're in 2023.

You can literally just cut photos. I've never seen somebody put an emoji over someone's face before. Yeah. Which is also an ick of mine, stop that too Same, it's a massive ick of mine on a dating app Because I'm like, you've gone to all of that effort Or like people that put crosses over their fit friend How good, no I'd find that funny

I'd find that funny You know I saw a boy on there once And he put his face on all of his friends face So it was just five photos of him And I messaged him and was like, yeah, that's great. Love that. Okay, so you really do like a comedian. Because for me, I'm like...

I'm sorry. She didn't even say someone funny. You really do like a comedian. For me, I'm like, nah. Too much effort's gone into this. Just don't use that photo. Don't use the photo. Unless it's a bit like the boy with all of the heads the same.

Don't use the photo. Stop putting emojis on people and on kids. Just don't put the photo of it's a bit like the boy with all of the heads the same don't use the photo stop putting emojis on people and on kids just don't put the photo of the kids on yeah however now we've stumbled

across that little one okay I understand that people don't want to put their kids on the dating app and you would probably want an emoji over their face

yeah but just don't put the photo yeah so then would you have I have children because a lot of people put dad in the bio I see what you're saying

yeah I'd just say that I've got children. Okay, because what do you think of this? I was recently tricked. Tricked. Not quite catfish, but we were tricked. I'm going to use the word tricked. Okay.

Because I went on this date, he's 31 years old, he's local and actually has a big group of friends. So I'm thinking if I get on with him, this could actually be good, because it's a nice new circle of friends. He's in a group of friends of some people I went to school with so you know it's real yeah exactly he got on this date he's a little bit odd not odd it's not the right word he greets me really weird I think he was nervous I walked through the door went to hold the door open until he realized what the hell was going on and realized he should be doing that for me okay so you've met him in real life yes he went on one date and nothing was mentioned. He's just getting on with his life, quite busy, works away a lot, has a similar job, he does a lot of presentations. So a confident

boy, he was the one person before I came off the app that I was like, I can kind of hold a conversation with you, let's go. We had a really casual, like two drinks, that's it, at a pub on a Friday night we went we sit down well actually when we're at the bar he has his phone out and I see a photo of a kid on the screensaver and I almost made a joke saying oh you're not gonna tell me you're like a dad are you didn't luckily we sit down and he says something and then he's like oh I was a bit late because of my car I'm sharing with my brother I was like oh blah blah he was like oh and he's got my boy he's got your what sorry he's got your dog he's got who

your car you named your car right got a little boy ah okay so now I'm thinking of how I should be responding to this yeah without coming across really awful and actually you know what if I liked someone enough I would take on a kid I think um more likely if I knew someone in real life and made a relationship with them rather than on an app if I have the choice I'm probably not going to go on a date with you if on an app you've got children but you know that's just one of them things so I didn't know how to feel about that and he was like oh I didn't like you know my brother was like are you going to tell her and he was like of course it's my kid and I thought but you weren't going to tell me

because we've we've been talking for a week and a half not at any point did you say I've got my boy this weekend no he was going to tell you but he wanted to tell you face to face when he was like already too late

for him I suppose maybe that's what he does he just tells you later rather than later but one day if you want to trap me you have to tell me like four months in

when I already like you one day bye I can just walk away exactly I was like you may as well have just told me by text because it is the same response

at that point. Yeah, it's one day. Do you think I'm going to be in love with you? Because I've had one day. She's a hopeless romantic, but gosh, she doesn't move that fast. I think there's certain things that need to be on your bio. And I think if you're a parent, that needs to be on the bio. One, you cut the shit out much quicker.

The people that don't want to take on a kid, you can cut them out quicker. And I think you just find the people that't want to take on a kid, you can cut them out quicker. And I think you just find the people that, you know, would want to take on a kid, you sync up quicker. Can't trick someone into being a mum or a step-mum. No. So I think there's vital information that you do need to put on it for sure. But back to dating profile ics, I'm getting a lot of couples at the minute come up. Like swingers? Yeah.

Like swing couples? Yeah. Yeah, like over from Americaica and i'm like wow this is mad it's happening so much more maybe it's a thing but i don't think they'll get much from that no i don't think so i think that's a certain group of people i think use a different app swinger.com i don't know if that's a real one don't know it probably is i don't know if that's a real one or put pampas grass outside that's what they used to do isn't it they put what in the 70s you know the beautiful pampas grass that's now in fashion kind of yeah you're having little vows yeah

exactly yes that's what they used to do maybe do that then don't go on swingers.com because that might not be a real one probably not so if you had any advice because i often get asked this on my tiktok what men can do to be taking better photos because as we know they're poor you rarely get a group of men that are like oh girls will you take a photo of us and have those groups of photos generally and you definitely don't really get guys with photos on their own as much as women yeah I'm not even gonna lie I don't have the biggest advice because one I think my type is not not everyone's type that's for sure like my type of boy you wouldn't think i'd be going for and i think i'm easily pleased i think i'm easily

pleased i think this one's a you one because i think i'm quite easily pleased when it comes yeah there's not there's other than having pictures with girls in there i like it when you're in a suit at a wedding giving a speech i think that's a really nice photo like i'm always yeah that kind of photo i like the ones where they're with their friends as long as they're they put themselves their actual face first so we're not guessing at the bottom where you're trying to hide behind your friends but other than that i'm really easily pleased so the advice is yours on that one i am not so great that this is all for me because i do i rarely fancy anyone i'm not easily pleased i think lads need to make the effort to be taking better photos why are you five years younger in the photos you know people are like I've got long hair now I've

got short hair now well I need a recent photo then don't I because I recently wasted a lot of time talking to someone where when he uploaded an insta story with his mates I was like oh my god like you look nothing like the photo that I swiped on you had loads of hair now you're like bold which is fine but like if you're gonna go for that shaved nice jt kind of look update your profile yeah I need to be warned about it yeah um so I think that's really important I think men need to go out of their way more to be like look mate it's cringe but I need a photo for my tinder so can you just take a photo of me and get their lads to take a nice photo of them no stupid faces really weird when people are men taking photos from beneath them like on the

sofa or laying down no obviously your torso don't want to see it on a dating app get rid like although I did used to really only care if people had the tops off yeah that just shows what you're looking for which is fine but okay now I don't care yeah just do it subtly like on the beach rather than like I'm in my bedroom in my torso messy rooms nope don't want to see it uh like ugly bed sheets like don't want to see that either be taking better photos next time go on a hike get a photo with the view there traveling get a nice photo don't take a selfie though i know i'm making it impossible for you but guys that take selfies ick i feel like there's tons of people with like great hiking photos i feel like every boy in their dark has a great hiking photo

photos are more important to you than the bio because bios are really important to me maybe that's why I don't care about the photos as much I can get over a boy that's not 10 out of 10 because my type isn't 10 out of 10 anyway so I can get over that so maybe bio is just more important to me I'd rather a better good bio over good photos yeah and of course bio is important because at the end of the day it is about about personality, clicking with someone. But you need that initial attraction. And for me, I've got dating app fatigue. So to even give you the time of day, you need to have nice photos. Get rid of the below ones.

Get rid of the old ones. Get ones with mates. Don't have ones, stupid angles. Get ones that make you look handsome and have more than one because one isn't enough. If you have one photo, I don't trust what you're going to look like, so why don't I swipe you? Don't do one photo. And girls, don't do one photo. They need to see more photos. It's just, I'm not going to swipe one photo i don't trust what you're gonna look like so i don't swipe you don't do one photo and girls don't do one photo they need to see more photos it's just i'm not going to swipe one photo one photo no bollo no relate what you want no like a star sign no nothing and it's just a plane

unless you're absolutely 10 out of 10 so amazing i'm not going to swipe you i think it's important to get full bodies in as well just so i think that's really important now so coming from someone that has lost weight yeah yourself yeah i can see why because i wasted somebody's time as well i think it's important just for height everything shape it is unfortunately it is materialistic sometimes at the end of the day and i think it's just important to know what you're getting and then you know then you know the person actually wants you want to have someone good looking as your partner well that's okay do you know what i good looking as your partner. Well, that's okay. Do you know what I mean? She's not my type.

That's okay. And then women using filters. I think we need to stop as women. I try not to use any filtered photos on my bio. I would rather them be like, oh, you're much better in person than me be better online. That would be awful. I'd just rather them look at me and be like,

well, she's not my type because she's not my type, and then move on. I'd rather that than them see me in real life and think, oh, my God, I don't know, as a girl, how you could put yourself up for that rejection to, like, use filters, knowingly use filters, then meet them, and then get upset because they don't like you because you don't look like your photos.

You've set yourself up for that. If they don't like you, if they don't like the way that you look it doesn't matter whether you put a filter or not they're going to meet you in real life at some points just don't be insecure your partner will love you regardless they'll fancy you regardless if it's meant to be it's meant to be like just stuck with the filters and boys know a lot of them girls are using filters that are like snapchat filters and it's like you're not even you're not even hiding it you're not even hiding the filters in this one but then there's

also girls out there that are doing some great little face tune as well that i've seen and it's like you're not even you're not even hiding it you're not even hiding the filters in this one but then there's also girls out there that are doing some great little face tune as well that i've seen and it's like boys would not know that was face tune so girls just don't do it no we need to just be real on the apps we'll have a healthier experience the more real you are because the person is expecting to see what they're gonna see okay lastly then it's about trying not to get dating app fatigue so spending a certain amount of time specifically put aside for an app or monitoring yourself so you know you're not going over the time and then when we do match with people limiting yourself to a certain amount of matches that you actually speak to them which is hard isn't it that is hard i think definitely

limiting yourself to how much you're spending on the apps. I have friends that have unhealthy relationships with dating apps. And I think when I spend time with them, it's because you're spending so much time on them. I literally go on for 10 minutes, I swipe, I go off, and then I think I'll get back to those matches tonight before it runs out. And then I get on with my day. I'm not sitting on there for hours and hours and hours on end. Of course, you're going to get exhausted and the relationship with the app will just be negative. So I'll go on for 10 minutes, I pop back off

and then before I go to bed, I'll talk to the matches and that's how I work it. I think that's good. Yeah, like limiting your time. I don't struggle with spending too much time. I go on it probably for not enough time, swipe, get really bored. So that's where I'm kind of the opposite, I guess. I have a really unhealthy because I'm just it probably for not enough time swipe get really bored so that's where my

I'm kind of the opposite I guess I have a really unhealthy because I'm just going on for two minutes not giving it the time of day not caring who I match with coming off because I'm I just I'm so desperate to just meet someone in real life rather than you really are and you've had want the real life for me yeah and you've been doing it for a longer time and you're just tired like you don't want to spend all the time on it it's tedious it's repetitive it just makes you feel like there's you're never going to find anybody so I think that's the right choice for you yeah and not for everybody doesn't have to meet somebody on a date enough I hope that I don't really meet them on a date enough but I'm happy to date for now but if I could meet the boy in Manchester was supposed to be my soulmate which he definitely wasn't because the

chat wasn't that great but if it was supposed to be him I would have much rather just I've met him at a bar and snagged him at a bar and then started texting and had a date like obviously that's that's the dream um so I don't think you're wrong for feeling like that and not spending as much time as it on it and I don't think that's as dangerous as spending too much time if you're not spending enough time that's fine and I think limiting how many people you match like that is massive discipline but I think that's important because even last night, I matched someone on Bumble, totally ignored it. Went on Tinder last night to see, like, right, I'm going to check out the apps. I'd already matched him before.

He's on there. And suddenly I replied to him on there. We're texting between two apps. Okay. And I hadn't realised, but that just shows because we were already talking, but we're both looking for other options on a different app. I see, yeah. And that's how bad it is.

That's how bad it is. And I have a chat with them, and I'll be able to tell them the first couple of chats if he's going to be my cup of tea. And if he's not, I end the chat. And if he is, I carry it on for a day or two before giving them a number, and it switches over to number. Because I think when you're on WhatsApp, out of the dating app, you're more on their mind, and they take you a little bit more bit more seriously yeah because you're on their WhatsApp where their friends are texting

them when their mum's texting them when their dad's texting them so I always try to get off the dating app if I think there's somebody that I could talk to I get straight off dating app after about two days and get onto WhatsApp see that'll get mixed reviews actually because a lot of girls women on daisy dates have said they stop giving out their numbers now until the first day. I saw the post. I saw that said that. And I'm at that stage. That they actually thought it was better that they didn't give it.

But it's just always worked for me. But yeah, I did see that post that says that. But they obviously been dating longer than me. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe gave it out to most people where I am selected with who gets it. Yeah.

Most of the people that I've got my WhatsApp, I've been on a date, I ended up going on a date with. Okay, that's interesting. There isn't a lot of research on dating apps at all but how successful do you think a relationship is in meeting in real life compared to on an app do you think there's much difference would you say that if you were to meet someone in real life it would have a better chance I don't think so it really depends a lot what you're talking about I met a boy last year on a dating site and I've never had a connection with a boy that I did with him and I could tell within

three days I was texting that we had spoken about religion we spoke about married not together like us getting married but we spoke about our views on marriage we spoke about our views on children he told me about his family it was deep so I don't really I don't believe that dating apps can't produce successful relationships at the same rate as real-life ones. I just think it's a lot more draining when you're doing it. Yeah, okay. I think that's a good viewpoint because actually there was, there's been, again, there's not a lot of research,

but across 4,000 people, it noted that 32% of people that met online that are unmarried couples split up during the course, whereas people that met in real life, only 23 couples split up during the course whereas people that met in real life only 23 split up okay so prove me wrong yeah not a lot of difference no not too much no I am gonna disagree I think meeting in real life generally if you're in a circle of friend or if you've been recommended by someone or they've been set up I think you've got better stead than meeting a complete stranger and having to get them to know them from scratch yeah and I also think I'm very confident if I could put what I am bringing most when it comes to dating it's my chat and it's how

I have conversations and for somebody like my friend who's like oh I feel like I'm never gonna know what to say I just feel like I can't start the conversation I don't know what to say then that then I could see why it'd be more successful for them to date in real life because they get to actually see their personality where i think i come across well and my personality personality is well read through dating apps anyway so finale question to you is if there could be a vote tomorrow to take all dating apps off of the planet would you be voting yes please or no thank you i think i'd be voting no thank you i don't know dize is gonna be voting yes dize is not gonna just be voting she's gonna be the president of the that the running that campaign of that election she's gonna be on the

very much delete the app she's gonna be out there campaigning you're gonna see her face all over people's houses a thousand like letters through the door get off the freaking app yeah i i like the apps fair enough if it was like delete tinder then i'm sorry tinder like but yeah like i'd probably do tinder but i can't i really like boom boom i wouldn't have met some of the people that i've met without it so yeah i would vote i'd either vote, I wouldn't turn up to the vote, or I'd vote, let's just keep them for a little bit longer, I think. But why would you vote no? For me, I'm like, let's not mess with fate. Whoever's going to cross your path is going to cross your path.

It is crazy how many people we can meet via a dating app, and that is epic. But also, I'm like, we were never meant to meet because they were never going to cross my path. Let's get rid of our dating apps and let's talk to each other in real life like we're supposed to but i think like even so i'm talking to a boy at the minute and he's from he lives in london i live in birmingham and the only way we managed to match is that i had an event in london that i must have swiped

in mind and three months later he went to an event in birmingham that he must have swiped me on and that's as much fate to me as it is meeting in real life. But what are the chances that we both had been in each other's city for that one event only, I've not been since, he's not been since, and we managed to match. Fair enough. So I think it can happen there too. Yeah, well, touche. But let's fast forward to me 10 years later

when I'm still on the dating apps and I'm literally like, can we go back to the election, please? And can we actually say, get rid of them? You'll eat your words. You'll be joining my campaign finally. Let us know what you think. can we actually say get rid of them you'll eat your words you'll be joining my campaign finally let us know what you think would you be pro get rid of them or are you like no too much fun like sean and thank you for listening like subscribe we are daisy dates podcast across all platforms youtube instagram tiktok amazon google spotify wherever you're watching this yeah Yeah, you name it.

And if you're a girl, we have a Facebook page as well. Daisy Dates Facebook group. Yes, and that's for all the women as well. And we have lots of conversation over there. People spill, overshare their dilemmas. Join us next time. Thanks for listening.