Daisie Dates - EP9 Meeting Dates IN REAL LIFE

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

Get ready for a discussion that will have you nodding your head in agreement! In today's episode, we're diving deep into the World of dating apps and how they can sometimes leave us feeling a bit bored. Are you more like Sharnee, who's enthusiastic and loving life on the dating apps, or are you like our seasoned Daisie, who's ready to explore alternative (or should we say traditional) way of meeting potential partners? We're talking all things approaching men, dissecting why it feels like men are no longer making the first move and exploring the ever-growing gap between men and women. It's a topic that will surely resonate with many and we're here to share our insights and experiences. Who knows, you might even gain some valuable insights that can help close that gap and foster more connections and love stories! You can join the supportive women-only Facebook group, where the girls chat about everything, hype each other up, and offer fantastic advice. Join DaisieDates on Facebook for a fantastic community! Plus, everyone is welcome on all our platforms at @DaisieDatesPodcast, so don't miss out on the fun! There's some great tips in this episode for the LADS! Get cosy, grab a cup of tea, and join us for an entertaining conversation. Let's bridge the gap and make dating more exciting for everyone! Follow the podcast over on TikTok and Insta: @daisiedatespodcast The podcast is on all streaming platforms, so listen anywhere and everywhere! Oh, and spread the word! A share goes a long way! Daisie xo

know what I got know what I want boy don't get me wrong sure we're having fun but it don't mean that I'm in love I like you a lot hey guys welcome to the daisy dates podcast where we talk all things situationships mindset and even a little bit of heartbreak as well I'm'm Daisy and I'm Sian and today's episode is all about meeting people in real life. Do you feel that way? I don't think I feel as strongly as you do about meeting people in real life. I don't think I'm bothered about either way. I don't mind where I meet them but I am bored to death of scrolling on boys' photos that are like six years old. No, not the boys, their photos. Oh, my God.

That's a different date. I've never had them in my life. The photos are always so old. And you're like, come on, dude. So, actually, I was out with a guy friend yesterday and some of the girls, and it was such a beautiful setting. You know, these May summer nights are lovely. And I said, let me take a photo of you just casual candid

as a guy because guys never get good photos so I'm going to be the girl that's going to give you a good photo of your dating profile so that was that but when it comes to meeting people in real life how the big question is how do we do it now because people are relying on apps yeah and I think that for me it's less putting yourself in like like, going out of your way, because I'm busy, to join a group or join a club or go to a dance class. It's more about getting outside your comfort zone. If you see someone when you're out at a coffee shop, at a club, at a bar, at a restaurant and you think they're fit, approaching them or start talking to them and making sure you're putting yourself out there so you don't go home and regret it. You know what I learned at the weekend sean when you go up to someone always do it because if i didn't go up to this guy right i would have regretted it but once you get to hear them open

their mouth normally it puts you off anyway and then you're like great weren't missing out that wasn't the love story i thought it was gonna be okay. Oh, gutted. Why? So I went up to him, and he was quite drunk. It was, what, 5pm on Saturday, lovely weather. And he's dancing, so he's a little bit cheeky. We've a load of lads, but there's one girl, and suddenly she can see me and my mate looking over. She comes over and I'm thinking, oh, no, she's a girlfriend of one of them, isn't she?

She's like, hi, girls, can I sit with you? And I'm like, oh, she's lovely. I was like, oh, you're right. She was like, yeah, I saw you looking't she? She's like, hi, girls. Can I sit with you? And I'm like, oh, she's lovely. I was like, oh, you're right. She was like, yeah, I saw you looking. I was like, oh, sorry. Are they single? She was like, I'll tell you what, ones are single, yeah. So and so, so and so.

And I was like, great. She was like, I'll set you up. She was literally wingmanging me. They were all electricians. And she was an electrician. The girliest girl. Love it. Love that for her.

Yeah, I know. But she was like, I just work with loads of men. I'm just going to sit with you because I want to work doing your girls um so we all sat together she winged man he came over very cheeky he was a bit older than i go for so i've said before i like people my age he was 42 oh my god i just nearly spat a drink out that i didn't even have in my mouth 42 it's nearly my mum's age not ideal but looked great I was thinking he was 34 looked great okay so I'm like talking to him right and he's got banter I'm like I've got any kids and he's like yeah one that's 14 I was gonna say four that's it he's 42 14 but he had us

howling just because of like his delivery and everything was great anyway so i like exchanged numbers and he's like yeah i'll give you a text there's like an 18th birthday going on in the corner right they're definitely 12 like the bar definitely just accepted a rich dad's payment for this party because they were not 18 there was no way they were 18 suddenly like give it an hour he's grooving on over checking out the girls that must be only 12 years old that six-year-old dating app thing i literally said mate nah do not text me like that is not right that's not right he had a 23 year old friend and I was like yeah he can go over there basically a 23 year old child yeah I was like no no way don't come anywhere near

me and then I thought that is such an ick that a 42 year old wants to be hitting on what he thinks are 18 year olds and even if they were 18 still weird still weird and I was like you're a loser and I've got loads going for me bye and this is what you know what I recommend going up to a guy that you fancy because 9.5 times out of 10 they'll give you the yuck anyway by their behavior yeah I don't know if I've told you this story I don't know if I've seen you since but I went out two weekends ago and this boy was talking to me in a bar and i did not fancy him i was at this bar that i hate it's not pop world basically and i hate it and he was like you're beautiful you know also listen to this in backhanded compliment he gave me went you're beautiful you know i went

thank you he was like you're really beautiful and i was like thanks he was like see i can't be racist because i said you're beautiful and i was like okay so i'm a beautiful because i'm a beautiful so that you're not racist or just beautiful so no you are beautiful and I was like okay so I'm a beautiful because I'm a beautiful so that you're not racist or I'm just beautiful so no you are beautiful as well it's like your smile's beautiful I was like thank you and as he's saying this this girl comes up and she's going mama mia here we go and he looked at me to say how annoying is she and I looked at him to say well she's really drunk my friend comes over and she goes that's his girlfriend you know about the girl singing mama mia hilarious I was like right okay so friend went, he's just been chatting up, my friend. And I was like, oh, God, don't.

I'm embarrassed. Like, I don't want to be involved in this. Yeah. Them two started having a screaming match. You're not staying at mine tonight, chatting up other women. I was like, oh, my God, let the world swallow me up. Because I didn't even like him. He gets chucked out.

She then starts speaking to us, still shouting at him through the gates. She then gets kicked out and she says, I'm nice to meet you, to my friend. Nice to meet you, to the other friend. And then she went, and you're shit, to me. And then walked off. Oh, no, babe. Oh, no, I don't.

Come on. You've got to be a girl's girl. You were to know. I didn't even, I wasn't, I didn't even say anything. I wouldn't have even told you. I was, what? I love that the girl was all like mama mia here we go again you could cheat on me again and like your boyfriend's looking at me like god this girl's

annoying gotta go home horrendous as if people are even doing that in front of their girlfriends which is why for me dating in real life like it just doesn't even seem that much better than dating on the apps it can just be as exhausting yeah that's that's totally fair enough for me i find meeting in real life potentially means you've got more common from the get-go and you can um realize whether you have something in common whether it could potentially go somewhere if the like that aura is there immediately so people often say like daisy you go for sporty men so you need to be going to like the cricket grounds in the summer and like rugby matches. And as a first thing, I'm like, that sounds really boring. But actually, I've been on work dues at both the cricket and the rugby.

So much fun for a social little day out. Have you ever been? No. Would you? Can't stand cricket. Would you go for the social though? If it was maybe football. Okay, yeah.

Because like where you sit, I guess it's a bit like football, but with cricket, how you sit and the stool, the stand. Have you got to watch cricket? No, it's so like there's food trucks, there's drink trucks, everyone's up and down wandering around. Very sociable. We've got a huge cricket ground, Boyme, too. Have you?

Like a massive cricket ground, Boyme. Edge Bastion Cricket Ground. It's sociable in the summer. Because of the way the seats are, it's just sit where you want. Okay. So you don't buy seats to sit. don't like sporty men though no it's not gonna help me unless i've got a computer out there whilst they're there so where do you need to go you need to hang outside google or something google the library starbucks like somewhere like that really do you ever think oh if we go here we might put ourselves out there to meet a different type of man or yeah when I was um I saw that fit boy in Manchester that was the first time we've ever

done it where we me and my single friend both said let's go somewhere different where it's a bit fancier it's a classy people go and we put ourselves out there but that's probably the first time ever before that it was just Albert Schloss every weekend love it about us but it's true because me and my friends have been better at this now like we're thinking of places and we've been saying maybe we go out more in london but the realistic thing is are we actually going to if they're we can meet in central london that's fine if they live like south london am i going to be traveling yeah because one of your things is no not to do long distance again. Exactly.

So we've picked a little place that's kind of villagey, but a town and it's good clientele. You liked Birmingham? I did like Birmingham. It's only an hour away. Yeah, need to come for a little nap in Birmingham. I think they're a good leg in Birmingham, but... Yeah, no, I like Birmingham.

I met... Actually, the guy I gave my number to at the weekend was from Solihull oh that's why it was funny we're funny in Birmingham

that's true that is true we've got a sense of humour in Birmingham yeah go and make up for the accent and it's from the posh beat too

yeah no true that's actually why we are funny we don't have an accent like this you've got to be comedic Lenny Henry do you know what I mean

oh gosh no but we're trying to actively go to places and put ourselves in places where it's going to be better, newer people, because I think that is important for me, to just try and meet someone fresh in real life. Yeah. I just think, I don't know if I'd want to meet somebody at a bar either.

Well, that's the thing, when he was very drunk and it was a bit like, oh, are you even going to text me in the morning? It can feel like a waste of time. Did he text you in the morning? No, he still did not do. Oh, you actually said don't, do you? Yeah, I went up to him and Lauren, the lovely girl that we met,

his mate, was like, don't you dare text her. She's too good for that. Oh, right, okay. I love it. She was great. Oh, she sounded great. We got her number. Oh, great.

Yeah, she's coming out with us next week. Oh, amazing. This is what happens, Sian. You can make friends or love. I meet new friends all of the time that I just click with, mainly females. You just click and you're like, yes, you can join our gang. That's literally what we did. Me and you did that, really, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were like, yes. Why is that not happening in romantic partners? Yeah, I don't think it's about meeting in real life. I think it's more about the problem between men and women at the moment. Right. Which is? They don't want to approach us.

Yeah. So it's up to the girl, I think, really. How would you approach someone? Very smooth. I would never go in and say, hey, are you single? Ever in a million years. Even when I'm the most secure girl ever, I'm still not doing it. Never.

That's a dig, by the way, guys. That's a dig at Daisy, OK? I go, hi. Oh, so much better than are you single. Like you're drinking or... Sometimes I just go straight in for the kiss with no talking. Wait, wait, you... So many questions.

Before I kissed the fit Manchester boy, I've been kissed someone on the dance floor, didn't say a word to him before or after. So you just went up to him... Looked him in the eyes. ..both touched lips, then walked away. We kissed a few times, apparently, and I was doing an over-shoulder kiss while we were dancing.

And then we just walked away, yeah. And I found the tall boy. Way better. So it was just in the eye contact then? That you just knew you were going to both kiss each other? I just look at them and I'm like, yeah, I'm about to give you a snog. Really? Yeah, because then if you snog, you both said that you're attracted to each other.

And then if you talk afterwards, great. What if he was looking at you, you went up and kissed him, but he wasn't single? I haven't thought that. That's never happened. What if his girlfriend was partying next to him? No, because he wouldn't have given me the intense eye contact. Are you joking? Someone was literally looking me up and down the other day and I went up to him and was like, oh, hi, are you single?

He was like, nah, I've got a girlfriend. No, but I'm doing sexy dancing, intense eye contact. It lasts in a good 40 seconds. I see. And if a girl was watching that, she'd be like, excuse me. Right. I kiss up very quickly on. I don't need to know that much about them other than that they're good looking and then i'll just oh yeah and then we're gonna talk then because we just kissed and that one we didn't talk for some reason i think it's because i wanted the tall boy but um yeah that's probably my best approach this is very strange because you think

that it's like so out there to go up and say to someone, are you single? But then you will just go up to them and snuggle, make it make sense. Because I don't like rejection. Are you single gives a, no, that's a rejection. Kissing, it's just kiss me. So what am I going to, he fancies me at least. Warped. No is a fact. It's not a rejection.

Not to me. Hello. A rejection is a phobia for me. I might try your approach. I think that's better. I mean, I think it's better too because at least you know they fancy you. And you get more kisses. You get more kisses.

And it's an icebreaker. You ever heard of an icebreaker? Kissing. I love it. Yeah. Kiss them all in Ocean Beach. I had to try more. No, I didn't kiss them all in Ocean Beach.

I didn't kiss them all. I kissed three. Well, how much space do you leave a treat like? Do they see each other? Yeah, well, the two of them were in the same friendship group. Good. It makes me sound awful, but listen, I'm living my best single life. And I got with one of them the night before,

and then I was kissing him the next day. But I really fancied his friend. He's a proper geeky, tall friend. And I was like, I really fancy him. So I went over, I was like, really fancy him so I went over I was like I fancy you but you didn't like give me any attention last night so I'll give you some attention now so we snogged love it love that and then his friend was watching so I went over to his friend and was like you're not talking to me now he's like no I'm in a mood obviously because you

just kissed my friend I was like don't be like that and then snogged him again no you didn't yeah he forgave me pretty quick you are like a puppeteer going around that I'm just imagining you being like I'm gonna kiss your friend and then I'm gonna go back and kiss you and annoy you but just prove to myself that you'll still kiss me back she's getting me that's exactly what it is you're puppeteering that's exactly what it is and my clients are going shying off stop kissing people now you know what I'm mate I'm jealous yeah you um so you again you didn't say i'm single you just went up and went i fancy you yeah that's way more ballsy because he could still reject you and say oh okay well i'd already put myself out for the rejection because i said i fancied you last night

you wasn't giving me the attention so i'd already had rejections already i'm already like putting the rejection out there so now you can't reject me because i've just said that you've rejected me so what are you gonna do Say you reject me again. So you might as well just kiss me now. Hilarious. The main thing why people don't go up to people would be because of rejection. Yeah. So a guy was talking to me over the weekend, as in a guy friend,

that was saying the reason we don't do it is because the rejection is so hard. But I was like, well, surely the rejection on the dating apps is more because more people aren't replying to you. I think that's why they're finding it so hard right they're getting rejected on dating apps constantly so in real life they can't if they can't deal with it on dating apps they can't it must feel so much worse in real life also they don't want to be creepy that's a lot of the reason they don't want to look creepy because of how society is today you've got to be very careful with consent 100 which is really important of course um but then i think it's a really important time to also tell right let's talk about the

approach for that reason because a woman being approached if the way to you need to let a guy know that they're welcome in your space because that's what i was talking to a guy friend about i said he said a girl had been giving him the eye. He went up to her and she was like, no, go away. I hate that. And I was like, that's really unkind. So if you need to, if you want a guy to come up to you, let him know that they're welcome. Hopefully they'll get that and come over.

Then when they come over, they use a bit of a rubbish line or they just say something a bit rubbish. Just give them a chance. It takes a lot of, let's not a chance. It takes a lot of, that's not to say balls, it takes a lot of courage though. Yeah, courage. To go up to someone. When I do it,

and I present in rooms full of people, when I big myself up to go up to someone, my whole body is taken over with a bit of anxiety and I get a bit shaky. You have to appreciate the courage of going up to someone. And I think if you want to be meeting people in real life, you have to be open to your own body language. If you see a fit guy in the corner,

I sit on a table where they're going to be in a space where they could approach me. I'm not going to sit all the way in the corner in the bar. Smile. Smile. You're not approachable. When they do approach you, if you feel like, oh, actually, he's not my type, no, he's up close,

or I didn't like what he said, or whatever, kind because I mean let's face it this year more women at 30 are not have don't have children than do we need to populate the earth and men and women are getting so far apart we need to come together women are literally not having children anymore because of how far apart we are with men be kinder it's not hard to give them a smile or say no thank you or just have a chat with them or it's not hard like i wouldn't want to approach women in this day and age yeah and also we're creating a world where you know the stats are so high now for men being lonelier so and then they're so lonely literally not having any sex with anybody at all and all and i'm not saying they have to but this is not good for mental health for their relationships for the

future of human beings it's not good this is not good and we're not helping men aren't helping we're not helping but that's why it's important to encourage like we all just need to be open to each other again a guy needs to stop feeling like I'm going to be a creep if I go up to her if you are a good guy that isn't creepy and doesn't do creepy things you're not going to be a creep if you approach it as a nice guy give the space hi I saw you over there you looked really nice don't go up to someone and say I love your bum in that dress because immediately it's going to get a bit defensive and I've had a guy come up to someone and say I love your bum in that dress because immediately it's going to get a bit defensive. And I've had a guy come up to me and go,

you're very short and chunky, aren't you? Yes, you don't. He went, you know, he didn't warm me up nicely. Eventually his mates were like, mate, he really fancied you and he's just chatting you up. That ain't the way to do it. Don't insult a girl. It's a backhanding compliment. That's actually called negging.

Yeah. Which would be a different episode because that's quite a common way for guys to feel like they need to hit on a girl, negging, but that isn't the way. We need compliments. If I go up to a guy, I would go in with, are you single? But I'd be like, oh, I said to this guy, you look really nice, I just wondered if you're single.

Yeah, and I had the same. This boy was chatting up my friend Chloe, chatting her up, and then she walked off and started speaking to somebody else. And he said, well, I'll take you on a date then. Oh, well, thanks. Oh, great. I can't wait. Yeah, let's go on a date.

Sloppy seconds. Like, jeez. At least be a bit of a gentleman. I mean, I would have said no regardless, but come on. You're just chatting anybody up. Yeah, that's true, actually. Creepy? Yeah, that's creepy.

So it's 100% in the body language. And I feel like I'm quite good at letting people know they're welcome in my space. Because this group of lads kind of gravitated to our table then. And in the end, we all were just having a laugh. It wasn't about numbers. It was just about, you know what, me and my friends are like, it's just nice to enjoy nice male company. It's not about we need to be hit on. It's just back in the day even like when I was 18 20

or even our parents generation you'd just go to the pub and you just meet the table next year and all end up chatting that's like lost now do you think it's because boys are more lonely now that social skills are it's just not as easy for them to socialise because they probably socialise with a lot of their friends online, playing games through earphones, and they're spending a lot of time statistically on their own. The boy that I dated recently said to me, I spend a lot of time on my own. He's like, I spend a lot of time on my own,

which I think is why he thought I was overly busy because he was always on his own. It must now be harder than coming out into the big world world, have to speak to the opposite sex, when you don't have that much interaction on a daily basis. And this is where I think it is harder for guys generally, because for me, I do things like I go on this women's walk, which happens like every other Sunday in my county.

I also, well, I have a friend that goes to a book club that is like for women only because yesterday we were all at the table and my guy friend goes oh I have to come to a book club because I've published a book and she's like oh it's for females only and actually we're only reading female authors at the minute I was like the rule at the minute that people have made and I'm like there are lots of things where we're inviting women in which is great but also we need to empower men too so I think if you made an all-men book club, it wouldn't work. So really, we need mixed book clubs

because the one or two men that might come along to that then has a potential to meet a girl that's also into reading. Likewise, let's mix up a wellness walk. And I understand if you want to keep gender separate for certain things. I go on the wellness walk to meet really nice girl mates. Sometimes it would be nice if a few lads were there. I just enjoy lad company and I don't get enough of it because I'm surrounded by so many women and I think just sometimes the dynamic is nice to be obviously

just mixing with anyone and everyone doesn't need to be about like gender and that's where I think it's hard because males don't tend to make male only groups so where I've met so many friends even in the last year gosh a lot of my close friends and newer friends men can't it's harder for men to go out and seek these groups to find people again without feeling like a creep so when I lived in Leeds I joined like the meetup groups which are all over the UK would recommend and there were lots of guys there turning up on their own as well as women but I did find it I found it I found for them it was harder for them to gel in a group whereas as a girl two girls you know oh I like your dress oh how are you you just click I think it's harder

for men to come into a group especially if it's predominantly women and feel comfortable and you know even if they're there to just make a friend it it's hard to ensure that I'm a safe guy, I'm an ally, that I just want to be here for friends. It's hard. Yeah, I don't think I ever would have thought, I've seen the time that long, it must be hard to be a young man. Especially a single young man. Yeah, because they're just not...

You can't put yourself in as much of a situation. So if I saw guys can go pub on their own and they tend to like football's on but then still would a group of lads talk to them be like mate come and sit with us no they wouldn't whereas i saw we were all having a picnic the other day there was a girl sat on her own i was like you can join us if you want like girls kind of do that a little bit more so i can see how it's harder for men to create the friendship groups like women can. 100%. 100%. So a painless way to go up to someone that I've discovered.

You're going to hate this. You're going to be like, Daisy, what are you doing? I hate it already. Yeah. I just give my card to them. Right, I've got... What the ick? If a boy handed me his card I'd be like do I look

why have I got your card now because it's my number on it yeah but I walk around I have my business card on an electronic thing you scan my code and you get my Instagram but I wouldn't give it to a boy it's just my number

it's too professional I'm a very professional gal but that's what you're showing it's just my number it's too professional it is too professional I'm a very professional gal but that's what you're showing is that your work is life so if you want to contact me we go as if we're work colleagues

you know what for me it saves all the I'm going to write my number down in my phone 0 7 1 2 and one of you having to type it in just give them your phone and they'll put the number in oh it's just awkward watch your Instagram, get your friend to do it for you do you think that comes across as childish getting your friend to do it for you

I did it with the Manchester boy and he carried on speaking to me so what you sent your friend first this was after I kissed him this is how bad my rejection phobia is I've kissed him all night, we've spoken all night, and then my friend's lot were leaving, so we went downstairs and I was like, bye. And then it turns

out he wasn't leaving, so I said to my friend, please go back up there and get his number. And she was like, you getting it? I was like, no, just in case he doesn't like me. He's literally been kissing you all night, Sian. That's how bad my rejection is. She went up and he was like, why are you doing it? And she was like, oh oh she's outside and he came back down

and kissed some more downstairs see I'm the opposite I'm like so scared not being rejected I'm just like you're either the one or you're not I'm like

are you single yes or no and here's my card no I really don't like the business cards it's too professional to be honest they're so expensive I need to stop giving them out

one they're expensive get an electronic one get them to scan it two you're already you've got other you're a voice actor you've got the voice of a presenter and then you're going here's my business card it's all too professional okay it's all too much i hear you have a lanyard on when you do it oh my god she might as well have you know what did you ever see did you ever see the tiktok trend where it's, you can go around and stamp a guy your number?

That's better. Unreal. That's banter. Where can I get one of those? Oh, online. That's banter. I might get one of those. Really?

Do that. So at festivals, you just stamp the number. That's way funnier than a business card. Yours is like a, I'm not going to, 50-year-old version of that stamp. Fair enough. I have really lovely business cards as well

so I always feel like they're a bit intimidating because they're like whoa glossy pink voiceover I mean they'll remember you because I'm sure

other people aren't giving out their business cards but get the stamp get the stamp I'm going to get the stamp I might get the stamp

should we get the stamp should we get the stamp and then report back and then we'll report back oh my god can you imagine the amount of kisses I'll get if I give out that stamp maybe I'll start getting kissed if I give out the stamp should we get the stamp should we get the stamp and then report back and then we report oh my god can you imagine the amount of kisses i'll get if i get that stuff maybe i'll start getting kissed if i give out the stamp if i would have had that stamp at ocean beach oh my goodness everyone would have been stamped kisses on the face stamps on their hand was it a good

caliber of men uh it was just that one team that i was right yeah really and one of a boy okay and this is, what I want to say is if you are struggling to meet people in real life, put yourself in environments where you're going to meet different types of people.

If you do like a sporty guy, be in the audience of a sports match. If you do like, I don't know, someone that's going to be into gaming, go to like,

you can get like gaming expos at like the NEC and stuff. Think like, find the stuff. If you're into comedy loads of comedy nights you do need to if you actually want to meet someone i'm not saying about tempting fate but if you like put yourself out there into different places it's a really good advice for men i feel like girls put themselves in a lot of places anyway i agree maybe we just need the men to get out a little bit more and out the comfort zone and be places like because women are out there looking yeah we just need the men to get out a little bit more and out the comfort zone and be places. Because women are out there looking.

Yeah. We just can't find the men. And I think that's true. Every time I'm out, I'm out and about in those places. But the men ain't there. I'm meeting lovely girl new friends. But there's no single 30-year-old guys out. So where are you all?

I do believe they're at home. Or they're having barbecues at home with all their married mates. And that's the thing. I think I had a friend that said I had to have conversation with my mates like lads I'm single and I need to meet someone we need to go out for me if not anything else and I was like yeah true actually we need to because it is a thing like I say to my friends can we can we not stay in and have a curry again I actually want to go out and see if we can meet someone here I think that's really good advice for men and if you're thinking well you know it doesn't only have to be clubs and going

out maybe you're sober so what would you do maybe working co-working spaces or uh there's a lot of sober events now you know at the to be fair it's for women but recently there was a big rave event at a massive rave venue in London for sober women but this is this is another thing we need to start trying to invite men back into our spaces I guess this is what if you've got a company that can do that that's what we want we can't keep everything now is this is for women this for women this for women I get why we're doing it um to create these safe spaces but it's also important to ensure that we allow men to be able to start these hobbies and do these things

Women have got to a point where we are independent we're enjoying our lives we are seen as highly valued statistically we earn more money, statistically we do better at university, there's got to be a way that we can stay up here but bring the men up as well

to make them feel better so that we can all find more partners So we can stay up here but bring the men up as well yeah to make them feel better so that we can all find more partners yeah so we can find each other on a night out like single 30 year old men where you're at get yourselves out there drag the lads out with you sean finale question how confident out of 10 are you at going up to someone in real life approaching them I'd say good depends on how I look on the day but I'd say sober is different too because you're probably still a 10 sober and 10 drunk I'm probably like a four sober and like a nine drunk love it I want I want both parties so I would say 10 sober sorry 10 drunk 8 sober because that bit of encouragement gets to me. But actually, I've went up to four guys in real life recently,

all taken, or they've shown themselves up, and I've been like, no, you're not the one anyway. So that's also why I'd recommend doing that, because you get to know the person. You don't go home thinking, oh, I should have asked him. Because if they've got a girlfriend, then you're not losing anything anyway. At least you ask.

You're not going to go home and think, oh. Or you're not losing anything anyway at least you ask you're not going to go home and think oh or you're rejected I've got a girlfriend literally has nothing to do with me I really rejected me you know what rejection is part of dating

and I'd rather be rejected in real life than through a screen when I'm on my own in bed feeling more rubbish anyway alright let's get out there

and approach people safely calmly and nicely and men come outside join us we're here be more sociable thank you for listening all about meeting people in real life you know what get in touch let us know the last time that you approached someone or was approached and how you were approached as well tell us different approaches i hope we've given you some

helpful advice today particularly men that do always ask like how should i be approaching women how you were approached as well tell us different approaches i hope we've given you some helpful advice today particularly men that do always ask like how should i be approaching women then and you've got two different women's views yeah very different very different you can follow us on daisy dates podcast on tiktok instagram and after i've been telling you to invite men in we do have a facebook group, Daisy Dates, that is just for women, just to create a safe space there. However, men, you're welcome everywhere else. Everyone is.

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