Danny Jones Podcast - #105 - Curing Autism with Stand Up Comedy | AJ Wilkerson

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

AJ Wilkerson is a stand-up comedian from Gainesville, FL. Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, his comedy reflects both his boisterous personality as well as the uniquely absurd way his brain works. https://www.instagram.com/ajwilkersoncomedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thanks for coming on, AJ Wilkerson. Thanks, I appreciate you doing this, too. Absolutely, guys. Thanks for having me. This is dope. Absolutely. Hell yeah, man. Your van is super dope. I love it.

My van is a shitbox on wheels, but I love it. It's my shitbox. Hell yeah. Everybody needs their own shitbox, man. So what's your store for people who aren't familiar with you? What's your story and what's your background? Yeah, so I'm a stand-up comedian and I'm autistic. So I started stand up like two years ago after I got diagnosed and got my medical marijuana prescription.

So I was really like that, like the anxiety was really the thing that kept me from doing it. Like I just thought before I found out I was autistic, I just thought it was like just really bad anxiety. And I thought I had some other mental health shit going on. But I just thought like I love stand-up, but I was just like that's not something I'll ever physically be capable of doing. And then I got diagnosed and then I got my medical marijuana card. and weed gives you that little bit of fuck around and find out. You know what I mean? Like, yeah.

So. So it was a big help. Yeah. Mix a little yee in the sauce and gave it a shot, you know? How old were you when you got diagnosed with the autism? 30. 30. Yeah.

That's weird. That seems like super late, doesn't it? Is that? Kind of, but not really. So a lot more people are getting diagnosed later in life now because, like, it just, people just didn't know a lot about it when we were growing up. Like, there's like this. generation gap with autism. So like, I was

born in 88 and Asperger's wasn't even a diagnosable condition until like months after I was born, you know? Make Mother's Day even more special at Whole Foods Market. Kick off brunch or dinner with quality cheese and charcutory with no synthetic nitrates. Then

go seafood. There's an abundance on sale at Whole Foods Market, where it's all sustainable while caught are responsibly farmed. At the bakery, grab seasonal treats like their strawberry pretzel cream pie and you can't go wrong with a ready to heat keish lorraine deviled eggs and fresh cut fruits to go celebrate mom with whole foods market so by the time they start testing for that i was like four or five there still was so little known about it you know what i mean that and i had i was smart

enough that i could pass most of my testing and education stuff and so it just kind of slipped through the cracks you know and i was intelligent enough that i could i like learned my own like coping mechanisms and like camouflage techniques and like masking techniques to blend in with everybody. So I knew how to fit in, but it was just, it just caused so much mental wear and tear from like, you know, basically constantly acting and pretending to like, you know, hiding it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, autism doesn't necessarily mean you're not intelligent, right?

Right. Elon Musk just said that he has Asperger's. Yeah, which if I had been diagnosed earlier in life, I would have technically what would be Asperger's. They just don't diagnose it as Asperger's anymore. It all falls under autism spectrum. order now. Really? Yep. Since when? Since like 2007, 2010, somewhere in there?

Wow, I had no idea. I didn't either. I didn't know until I was getting diagnosed, like when I was doing my initial, like, observation and everything. And, like, 15 minutes into, like, a four-hour appointment, like, the doctor just stops and he's like, so just so you know, you're definitely on the spectrum, you know, we're going to keep going and figure out, you know, exactly where. But you're definitely autistic. Yeah.

So what are the key signs to tell you? that you're autistic. So it's not that there's really key signs because autism, there's, it's literally, it's a spectrum. There's so many different facets, like facets to it.

So, like, the best way I can explain it is, like, think about, like, a color wheel, like,

throw darts at a color wheel, and wherever those darts land are, like, the traits that this autistic person would have. But everyone gets to throw, everyone, like, throws their own darts.

You know what I mean? So, like, for me, like, my autism is, um, I have, I have issues with communicating,

sometimes. So like I didn't realize until after I was older and like getting diagnosed. It's like, oh, not everybody does this. But like, I'll build word clouds in my head. So I know where I'm going in a conversation. And like, but then that means I'm not listening as much to the other half of the conversation because I'm thinking of what do I say next to keep this conversation going and not seem like a weirdo, you know? I can relate to that. Yeah. So things like that. I struggle a lot with like executive function. So like that, that voice you have in your head, like when your alarm clock goes off, you know, and you hit the snooze button twice, that voice in your head when the alarm goes off that third time is like, hey, we can't hit snooze. Like, we got to get up.

We got to go to work. We got to pay bills. We got to, I don't have that, whatever that thing is that kind of keeps you on track. Or at least not in like the traditional sense. It's more like, um, like we have, we have terrible radio signal. Like, and we're just communicating through walkie talkies. You know what I mean? So when I'm, when I'm up on a hill, you know, I can, I can hear them.

You know, I've got that reception and I've got that inner. But then when I'm down, you know, when I'm down, you know, in a valley, not getting reception, you know. So can't really communicate with the warden, you know. That's a really good way to put it. I call him the warden because recently I did acid for the second time. Nice. And I did like a guided meditation that a friend had sent me. And so, yeah, the whole Pink Floyd triangle thing, like talk to your inner self.

And I literally was like, hey, look, the warden, the inmates can't be running the asylum here. You got to take control here. Yeah. Had my own little psychedelic come to Jesus moment, you know? That's super cool. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you can see that. Like, when you watch Elon talk.

I always thought that it was just like he was so smart. That's why he talked like that because he just has too many ideas to be able to cycle through his. Well, and that's kind of the other part of it for me is like is like information processing. Like if you think about like your brain as like a highway, right? Like most people have so many lanes. And so it's easier for them to direct traffic. Well, I've got like an 18 lane fucking highway You know like so I'm just trying to frog her across and just grab hold of something

You know what I mean? So there's just so many ideas flying by at one time that it's hard to stay on track and focus But then the other aspect of that is if I do grab onto something I can fall into that hole and not come out for days Yeah, you know what I mean? Like um During COVID I was I was doing I was working on a tour and we were trying to put together like some video stuff and so I was doing video editing and I I literally fell into a hole and I was editing video for 42 hours straight. No sleep, no like bathroom breaks and food and that was it. And I just, I was just in a hole. I couldn't stop.

You just hyper focus. Yeah. Well, it was that and it was like, I can't let this go until it's done because I know I have that thing in my brain. It's like I know once I let it go, it's going to be really hard getting back here. Yeah. You know? Yeah, they say a lot of people who are like really good at certain things. A lot of people who are, I always thought that pro video game players, some of them,

because they're so antisocial and they're so really good and laser focused at this one thing, this one specific game. And there's another guy who, Clay Marzo, he was a professional surfer. And he was like a very antisocial guy. I didn't like to talk to people, didn't like to talk to anybody. But he was like one of the best, wildest, most creative surfers I've ever seen. scene. And I always, for some reason, just associated Asperger's with people like that. People just like

laser focus on one thing. It's all they can think about. Well, and that's, it's, you're, you're fucking spot on because that's the deal. But for me for a long time, like, because I didn't, I wasn't sure what that thing was for me that I was going to be really good at. And so I didn't realize it, but I'd have these really intense hobbies, but I would only have them for really short periods of time. Like, I've learned to do all sorts of crazy shit.

Like, I grew up in construction, like we were talking about outside. excuse me um so i got into like woodworking and like crafting stuff and like like making things from wood and i was you know doing a lot of woodwork and like had like did like an atsy store and was like selling stuff on there and then from from woodworking then like i got burnt out on woodworking and i was like this isn't it i don't want to do this but you know maybe it is something with my hand something tactile with my hand so then i went into like leather working and then i went into like the kidex making those like molded plastic like holsters and stuff like that and then from there i went into like uh Like the fucking

I don't have any to But like the paracord Like how people make like the bracelets And the lanyards and like yeah So I was making like these braided like you know 12 foot dog leashes out of you know Making these weird jigs so I could like You know make all these weird patterns

And designs and stuff and so I just I would have these weird intense focuses And then I would just burn out on them And just go to something else So like yeah seven eight months And then be like nope this isn't it What's next you know And I was in one of those when I was getting diagnosed.

I wanted to make my own cartoon. I was like, this is the next thing. Like I want to do something creative and fun, you know. And so I was trying to make my own cartoon. So I was like trying to teach myself how to draw and how to animate and how to like storyboard and like all of this stuff all at the same time. And while we were doing the like the observation, that appointment at the University of Florida at their Center for Autism and Related Disabilities. like going through all of that and I was telling him about this idea and he's like so you definitely like you like you need like a creative outlet of some kind but the like what you're trying to do now isn't releasing that pressure valve like there's too many obstacles between you and releasing that actual pressure from your brain is like why don't you just try like you want to make people laugh it's not like you have like a like humor seems to be like the element you're best with communicating with so why don't you try like doing like an open mic or something and I was like all right sure let's you know and then I

fucking did it and then ever since then I was like this is the thing like that first time I get you like I got a laugh on stage like something just kind of clicked into place man okay it was a doctor that suggested open uh stand up comedy yeah that's pretty cool yeah because like I said like during that observation we spent like four hours together

and literally it's just it's almost like in like if someone were interviewing you for like to like write your biography you know what I mean like everything about your life like what do you remember from your childhood? What about this? Like, what about this? Like, all of these questions.

And as he starts building this up, like, he's basically building a profile of, like, you know, these are some of your traits. Like, these are some of the things you struggle with, like going through all of that. Right. And that was just something that he highlighted. It was like, you need, like, some, like, method of creativity.

Because they're, like, you have, so that, talking about that highway earlier, he's like, you're basically your highway is backed up because you can't get this traffic off of the highway. Yeah. So you have to find a way to get this traffic off the highway or it's never going to unblock. You know, and so that's why he's like, you know, you have all of these hurdles like teaching. You're trying to teach yourself how to draw and animate and storyboard and trying to learn like five different skills at one time. Yeah, that's a lot.

And you have to do all of that before you can reach that creative level. Right. So you're basically hampering yourself, like just go straight to the tap. Yeah. You say when you reach the creative level, you mean, like, so. Like, you mean like releasing it to the public and letting people experience what you created or the creative process of it? Because the creative process, obviously, something like a cartoon, there's a lot of, there's like days and hours and weeks and months of production and drawing and navigating. And so I would call that production versus like the creative process of actually like sitting down and like writing out the ideas, but then also getting that feedback of presenting it to an audience.

You know what I mean? Right. And getting that feedback in response because like you can write it, but if you write it and it just says. it's somewhere. Like have you actually like it's almost like you haven't finished. You know what I mean? Like it's not done. Like it's out, but you still need that feedback before, like, you know what? Like you need to make sure that traffic is safe to exit before you kick it out completely. You know what I mean? Like is this something I need to, I need to bring back and keep in my head because I need to rework on it. Yeah. And make it better. Or is this the final version? So I have to do that before I can clear that traffic

from the freeway. And he's like, that's where your holdup is. Just get out in front of people get the like that's immediate feedback right you know so how do you done any creative writing prior to that um when i was a kid you know like um i won i so that was the thing like looking back now was like wow i should have been on this track of like creative writing the whole time because like in uh second third and fourth grade like i won awards for like children's writing contests and stuff. I won, like, a young author's award for, like, a children's book about a princess and a dragon.

Like, it was, you know, just stuff kids right, you know. But you were obviously good at it then. Yeah. But part of, talking about, like, that executive function and, and, like, task management and things like that, once I got to a certain point in school, what we were learning was boring to me because, like, I learned this on my own, like, I'm going to read my own book. I'm going to do my own thing.

you know so you kind of get like you kind of lose track of what you're doing when you like when you're if you're intelligent and you give your you get free time and there's no structure to it you know just goes off somewhere so it never it never made it to creative writing because that was given as an assignment so it felt like work like I didn't have I never reached that point where it was like oh no this is a fun thing for me yeah because it was somebody telling me to do it as opposed to me wanting to do it yeah You know, and like, like, if you force someone to do something, even if it's something they enjoy, there's going to be that. Yeah, don't feel the same.

Exactly. So it took me, like, rediscovering it later in life to realize, like, oh, you know, because I was just, I was just in my friends group. Because I, like, I have a small circle of people that I'd just, I'd gotten so comfortable with. We've been friends for, like, decades. You know what I mean? And, like, some people, like, I can meet and things just click. Like, there's no awkward. Anything I was like, oh, no, I get this person.

And then we're good, you know? but that doesn't happen often. So I have like a small group of friends and I was, you know, I was the funny friend. And then, you know, at a certain point, I was like, like, one of my friends been, like, used to encourage me. He's like, you should try open mics. And I was like, like I said, I can't physically do it. Yeah. You know, because like I tried it.

I went to try it one time. I went to an open mic when I was like 23 and I was going to go up on stage. And I was just, I was shaking so bad. I went to the bathroom, threw up and just left. I didn't stay and watch the show. Yeah. It was just, yeah, it was just so super bad anxiety. And then I was going to try again when I was married, so I was like 26, we're going to try again.

And I was not a healthy relationship. So she talked me out of it. It was like, you know, do you really, like, do you really think you're funny enough that other people are going to want to hear, like sit and listen to you? And I was like, good call. Good point, no. Yeah. Because who, yeah, who's full of themselves enough to be like, yeah, this room full of people is definitely going to want to hear what I have to say. so I just didn't have that

what was it like the first time you actually went on stage and did a set um terrifying and I and here's the thing like at the time I wasn't good like I'm still not good like because like I said I've always been a fan of comedy so I've studied comedy and like you know and so like can't like I know what like the great level is

you know in my in my brain I know what that like that marker is and I know I'm nowhere near that marker, you know what I mean? Like, I am on the footpath outside of the parking lot outside of Mount Everest. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But you're heading in. Yeah, I'm heading in. I'm heading in. You know, we're getting in a little elevation. But at the time, I mean, at the time, it was my first time ever doing it. So I had, like, one, like, three-minute story bit that I was doing in it. Like, I had, like, maybe, like, three lines in three minutes that got, like, a laugh. But I got that first one, and I was like, oh.

And then I had, like, some. giggles and stuff like that. Yeah. You know. But those three laughs was like three. That's all I needed. I got three, you know. And from there, it was just all in.

Like I found like a comedy, like a writers group, like a writer's workshop. And that would meet every Sunday. And so I started going to that and like working and like coming in with new material and workshopping material and stuff. And then the guy that led that workshop was like this old road comic. And he kind of like took me under my win. and became like my comedy dad. Cool.

And, you know, maybe like three months in after a show. So we had this show like a world of beer out in like this small little town called Jonesville. And it was like it was in one of those like mini shopping centers that was right outside of like a like a gated community kind of thing. So everyone from that community came to that bar. Right. So my first time doing that show, I did like 10 minutes. and after the show Bob pulled me aside he's like hey you did a really great job

blah blah he's like but I know like that's all the material you have right now so I can't have you back out here for a couple of weeks like I have to let people forget your stuff right yeah but I in my head I was like oh challenge accepted and that was like a Thursday show and I showed up Sunday to the workshop with a whole new 10 minutes oh yeah yeah and so it went through that and he's like after that workshop

he pulled me aside he's like I don't know he's like I don't know if like anyone said this to you yet or anything he's like but the fact that you could do that that quickly and come back and like you have that tenacity for it he's like you could do this for a living if you wanted to and as soon as somebody said that like you can do this for a living i was like bet that's what we're doing sick you know and so i just dove all the way in and i started treating it like i started treating it like my job yeah you know how long's it been two years two years which is yeah it's which is insane like for me to be where i'm at in two years uh yeah like so um um

So right before COVID, I got, so I'd been doing comedy like 11 months. And I got booked for my first tour. And it was through this like entertainment company out of Tallahassee. And so it was like, it was a variety tour. So it was like a couple like two rappers, like an R&B singer, like some spoken word poets. And I was the only comedian on the, you know. But they booked us like this Airbnb in Tallahassee for six months. We all went to Tallahassee.

rehearsing for a couple of weeks and then starting the tour. And the day after we signed paperwork, lockdown started. Oh, fuck. Yeah. So we're all in this Airbnb in Tallahassee. I'd given up, you know, my place and stuff like that. So we were just in this Airbnb for the tour, you know. And we stayed for a couple more weeks.

We, like, rehearsing and we did a couple, like, a couple, like, streaming shows. Just try. And then eventually we realized, like, it's not opening up anytime soon, like, tours canceled. Yeah. And so from there, I was like, okay, so I have until this date, basically, to be out of the Airbnb, and then I'm homeless. So what do we do? Like, what's the move? And so I was like, this is what I want to do.

Like, I got this tour. I can get something else. You know what I mean? And so I just bought a van, converted it into like a shitty camper, like a, it's a real redneck land yacht, man. Like, it's, yeah. What kind of van is that? It's a 1987 GMC Safari. Nice.

Yeah, it was a wheelchair conversion, so it had, like, the fiberglass, like, pop top on it. Okay. For some extra room? Yeah, for some extra room. And it had a wheelchair lift in it, but the previous owners, when they tried to take the wheelchair lift out after, like, the older relative had passed away, they busted out the side window. So it's just plywood, plywood window. Yeah. Real skeevy looking, you know.

Fits in good in Florida. How do you run the ace? Do you leave it running all night? Or how do you? No. So I have a generator on like one of those like hitch carriers on the tailgate. Yeah. So and I've got like a window AC unit like in the back of the roof.

So yeah. So I can run the generator and run that air conditioner. But more often what I do is I've got a I've got like a little solar battery pack. Like one of those ones you get from like R.E.I like a 500 watt solar pack that I can recharge through my cigarette lighter and stuff. Oh, cool. And so and then I've got one of those little desktop portable air. conditioners that you fill with like ice water and then it like pushes out like cold air. Oh really?

And so I set that up in the back of the van and run it off of that pack. Nice. And yeah. And then I've got like the like that insulation like that a like the tin foil with the like the air bubbles in it. Yeah. So I've got those and I've got them like set up like with a little like adhesive pads like the Velcro. So I put those over the windows and stuff and insulate the windows and my clothes.

hang up like on a rod so I push them over in front of like the sliding door and that kind of insulates more from the door side. Then I roll down like a like a moving blanket between like the front and back of the cab. There you go. Wow. So you've been in this van for a year now? Almost a year. Yeah. Where were you living before you had the van? Um, in, in Gainesville. Like my family's from like Williston and Levy, well, originally Bronson, but Levy County area, which is right outside of Gainesville. So Gainesville was like the big city for us. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm a real, like, from the woods, like, here, you know.

I just, I mask it well, like, I don't have an accent because my entire life have been, oh, I can talk like this and blend in here, and I can talk like this and blend in over here, so. Yeah, well, there's not many parts of Florida that are like that. That are like woodsy. Yeah, there's just that. Except for, like, Tallahassee and Gainesville area. Yep, just that little strip in the middle. Yeah, that little strip's a weird strip, huh? Every time I go to Tallahassee, I feel like I'm in a different world.

The whole middle of the states like that All the way up and down Yep There's like that weird That triangular section From like Jacksonville, Gainesville, Tallahassee Yes That little section is like

Not safe for minorities I mean Yeah That's a fucking wild place Unless they're good at sports And it's like They're good at sports Yeah

Yeah I was riding through over by like Lakeland and it's very like In the middle of the state Like farms land area and stuff and there's like one old beat down billboard and it says home of ray Lewis where he went to high school and played football is right there but it's like the most raggedy ray Lewis sign you would think yeah I didn't know Ray Lewis was from here you know I didn't I've heard that before I didn't know it was like over there in Lakeland but he went to Lakeland

high or whatever that school is but there's a rundown billboard with a picture of him on it that's fucking hilarious Florida's a football state yeah do you watch football yeah I grew up so I'm a here's a thing I'm basically, I'm like a NASA supercomputer that was programmed by rednecks. So, yeah, so like, my big hobby is fantasy football. Oh, yeah, we play a lot of fantasy. There's nothing more autistic than fantasy football. Oh, yeah.

Like, any, actually any fantasy sports, like, you just zone in on the stats and shit. My buddy Brian, like, one of my oldest friends, like, we have a regular league with a bunch of our buddies and stuff like that. That's our football league. But a couple of them are all in a fantasy hockey league together. And so a couple of them are all in a fantasy hockey league together. So a couple years ago, he's like, hey, man, do you want to play fantasy hockey with us? And I was like, I don't know shit about hockey.

Yeah. But I did it. Like, I joined, like, I paid 50 bucks to basically lose at fantasy hockey. And I came in, I made it to the championship game. Yeah, just based on numbers. Just from, like, watching the numbers. And I was like, oh, this is like my Rain Man skill. Yeah, yeah, you know.

Wow. Yeah, because that's what it's like. You don't really have to know the people. But here's the thing. I'm bad at math. But, like, fantasy stats, like, just stats for some reason. I'm good with. Hmm.

So are you winning in fantasy or what? Yeah. I win pretty good. Hell, yeah. Like, I'm out of hockey now. I played, like, I played two seasons. But the first year, I just, I didn't have anything else really going on at the time. So I was just all in on fantasy hockey, like, every day going through, like, waivers and, like, reading stats.

You can, like, use his websites to cheat websites, right? So, like, find out all this info. Yeah. I mean, you can. Of course I do. I wouldn't. You can, if you don't know anything about hockey. Right.

But, like, it's harder if you don't know, like, because you don't know what sites to check. Like, it's a whole new sport for me. So it's like, who do I trust in this sport? You know what I mean? Like, with fantasy football, like, you know, I'm a big Matthew Barry guy, you know, and then, like, football guys. It's like a commentator. Yeah, yeah, Matthew Barry is like a Fancy in. Yeah, yeah.

And fantasy football now, like the show they do every Sunday, like the pregame show, that's all fantasy. That's Matthew Barry. Okay. So, like, I trust him, you know. And there's a couple other people who's like, I'll, like, commanding. combine their opinions and be like, okay, so this is what they all think about this guy. And, you know, but I don't know who to do that with in hockey. So I was literally just going off stats and like the little updates in the actual app itself.

Like, oh, this player is, you know, on this streak. And I'm like, okay, well, he's on a streak. Leave him there. Yeah. You know, that kind of shit. And, yeah, I made it to the championship game. It was nuts. Yeah. The problem with fantasy shit is such a waste of fucking time.

That's exactly. It's such a big time suck. Yeah. Yeah, big time. Like I said, at the time, I didn't have anything else going on. Like, I was, like, especially, like, years and years ago, like, undiagnosed, you know, thinking it was other mental health problems. It was like, you know, I don't really, I, I started, like, like, kind of distancing myself more and more from society and kind of become, like, a hermit, you know? Mm-hmm.

So what else? It's not like I was doing anything. Yeah. You know? So. And then now, like, I'm slacking off on fantasy because I'm fucking always at comedy shows and stuff. Are you going to play fantasy football this year? Oh, yeah.

I'm still in, like, that league with my buddies every year. Oh, okay. Yeah. How much money do you guys bet? I think this year we're doing like 25. 25 bucks. Yeah, it's not anything. Yeah, our football one's not big, but it's like a, it's like a keeper league.

Oh, you keep the players in the previous year? Well, except, like, we keep like four. You can, or no, I'm sorry, we keep three. Hmm. Mm. That's interesting. We drop it down to two. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

So every year you can keep two guys, but you can only keep two guys, but you can only keep them up until like so every year they cost you one round higher so like if you keep a guy from his rookie season and he's like undrafted the the following year you keep him and he's like a 15th round pick oh that's pretty cool but then the year after that he's a 14th and the year after that he's a 13th and so on and so forth so you can only keep guys up until they reach fourth round okay and then after that they're freebies or just free they go back into the draft pool right okay yeah so like so i've had patrick mohomes since his rookie season oh shit yeah His rookie season was like the best

Super fucking points. That was his sophomore season. It was his first year as a starter. Because his rookie season he sat behind Alex Smith until like the last game and a half of the season. Okay. Well, the first season he played. Yeah, the first season he started and they fucking won the Super Bowl.

Yeah. We dropped in like 40, 50 point games. How about the other quarter? Wait, wait, who is the guy, Alex Smith? Yeah, yeah. How about his his shin? Yeah. He snapped his shin in half.

And he actually came back. He came back. Like he came back and played. a couple games left. Yeah, but didn't he played a couple games and then he heard it again, didn't he? He had to, like, he had to leave. No, he's just, he's just older, less mobile still, you know, things like that. So he just lost the job.

That's like the scariest fucking injury. This is the Joe Thaisman injury. Like, that was the same exact injury that ended Joe Thysman's crew with the Lawrence Taylor when he snapped his leg when he played for the redskins. I don't even know that story. Oh, yeah. Joe Thys, like Lawrence Taylor hit Joe Thysman in the leg and shattered his leg the same way Alex Smith's. Really so gross. Did he have the complications that Alex Smith had?

Yeah, it ended his career. He never played another down of football after that. Because Alex almost lost his leg, right? Yeah, because he had, like, infections and stuff too. But so not only did he get over, like, the infections and the injury, but, like, just modern medicine and science and physical therapy, got him to the point that he could still play professional football after that. Yeah, they said he never even walk or anything.

Yeah. That's great. And then the UFC fighter just did that, like, last weekend, where he kicked the guy and his shin snapped in half. They tried to stand back down and just, like, gumbing backwards. Think about like Ryan Shazir. Oh yeah. Like that spinal cord injury.

They thought he'd never walk again. Yeah, never. And now he's fucking walking out for fucking to the 50 yard line and shit. Yeah, it's super cool. I love stories like that. Yeah. Dude, that's terrifying. That is like worst case scenario when I'm playing football and you break your neck.

Oh, yeah. I watched that game live. I remember. Yeah, I was, I was absolutely sure that was how Brett Farve's career was going to end. I was like the old, because remember he kept like, I'm going to retire. No, I'm coming back. I'm going to retire. No, I'm coming back.

And then like Green Bay is like, look, we've had enough. Aaron Rogers is the guy. And so then he went and played for like Minnesota. And then when he went to the Jets, I was like, he's going to play until he dies. And this is where it's going to happen. Yeah, the Jets.

It'll happen there. Yeah, like, he literally just walked into a dumpster fire and was like, this is how I'm going out. So I was sure he was going to die on the field. You see they're bringing Tim Tebow back. No, as a tight end. The Jack Wires just picked him up. I mean, you know, there's going to be like that.

They really did. No fucking way. Yeah, they picked him up for one year. I mean, it makes. sense. I mean, it's Urban Meyer, reunited with 10 Tebow, in his hometown of Jacksonville, at the very least they're going to sell tickets. Oh, big time. You know, they're going to sell at least double his salary and tickets so it's paid for us. They got that long haired dude, right? Trevor. Trevor Lawrence. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's going to be fun to watch. Okay, so here's the thing. So, like, I'm autistic, right? And, like, I love, like, seeing autistic

people succeed at things. Like, Dan Aykroyd is autistic. Like, fantastic guy. Anthony Hopkins just won an Oscar and came out as like he's on the spectrum. Is he autistic? Yeah. Anthony Hopkins. Sir Anthony Hopkins. Nobody did. That's the thing.

That's what I'm talking earlier about like masking and being able to like pick up those skills like where I can step into like a group and blend into that group. Like most autistic people like when people like oh I didn't know you're autistic is like yeah because I've developed next level coping mechanisms that are fucking Oscar worthy. All right. So but that's the thing. Like he's literally a chameleon because he's been that way as whole. whole life and he had to learn those skills at a young age and he just figured out a way to

he's like i already have these skills use them as a career right you know like he found ways to fit that in until he realized what he was wow yeah how fucking awesome like he made it to like fucking 89 years old before he found out really yeah yeah he was died he was just diagnosed like this year damn wow that's insane yeah like why would you i don't even understand like the process like like I just want to go in and get diagnosed if I have it like when you're that old like I don't know if I'd bother I mean You like probably just knew the whole time kind of right

Well and I think as you get older like you do more and more like self-reflection and more stuff like that Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, and especially like he his career had slowed down you know he's kind of stepped away from the spotlight and was just doing like limited projects So a lot more time to himself to think and like spend time with his own thoughts because think about how long his career was playing other people Do you think autism could just, I mean, I don't want to sound like a dickhead saying this. No, not at all. Do you think autism could just be like a personality trait and there's just severity differences? I don't think so.

I think it's. I feel like so many people could have, you know, a dash here, a dash there, a little bit more. You know what I mean? Well, that's, I guess, the way I would more describe it as. I think autism is just, is like, um, I think introvert, extrovert. Yeah, I think autism is specific, you know. human traits amplified. So like it,

because like a typical neurological person is basically, we were talking about that color wheel earlier. Like a typical neurological person is basically dead center of the color wheel. You know? So we're basically all those darts thrown around it. And those are just like those parts of like a typical human experience. Like you may be a completely neurological person, but you might have like one special talent here.

Right. And that's how they, well, you know, when they're like, oh, everyone's a little autistic. You might have one dart that you got to throw. I've got 18. You know what I mean?

So it's all of those human traits, like whatever traits certain autistic people present with, it's just that, it's a human trait, but it's just magnified so many times. And it just makes it more intense. So you know. Do you ever sniff out people who maybe have autism or like a- All the time now? It's like when you buy like a yellow car and then now you see all the yellow cars. Yes.

Really? Really? Yeah. People who don't even know it, maybe. Yeah. Well, so do you guys remember it was like a Disney Plus documentary about the dude that climbed like El Capitan? Mm. That rock climbing documentary.

Like free climb. Yeah, free climb. Yeah. That was the next thing. That was a big, giant hands. Free solo. Free solo. That was an insane documentary.

So I, when that documentary came out, I was watching it with a couple of friends and literally three minutes into the documentary. I was like, this dude's autistic. Hey. And then it got to the point when it was. was talking about his dad and his dad had passed away but when he's talking about his dad he's like my dad had what would have now been known as like asperger syndrome and i was like fucking knew it he's autistic yep oh yeah and and it was there was like a line in the in the documentary when he's like talking to his fiance right because she's all nervous about him climbing with no

safeties and stuff like that and like you know he's like and she's like whenever you leave and whenever you like untether and you're climbing like do you ever in that moment do you ever think about like me or like what I would do if you didn't make it and he's like no never he's like I can't yeah and that was the thing I was like I know exactly what that feeling is yeah like I know that exact sentiment

because it's like you know that's like you have that option you know you should consider that other person but you're so singularly focused on on achieving something that you're like can't do it God yeah man that was fucking insane what that guy does yeah and that's but that and that's

I mean when I talk about like this, that magnification of the human experience because like, like, especially for me, like, I talk with my therapist about this a lot. Like, when I, once I got diagnosed and I started like seeing a therapist regularly, like, I'd come in and I'd be like, okay, I want to work on this, this, and this. And my therapist is like, like, that's incredible that you're that self-aware that you know, like, these are the things that you struggle with. And so, like, but, but that's one of my magnifications is I'm, I'm constantly, and it's not, it's not self-aware, like, in like a confidence standpoint, it's like I'm always just like thinking inwardly as like, you know, what, like, what's wrong with, like, what can I do better here? Like, why can't

I do this? Like, I'm constantly like trying to rearrange those bricks internally to like, how, how can I, how can I like operate better, you know? So, and it was more of that. It's like, oh, you've already identified your weaknesses. It's like, yeah, because I know what I'm not good at. I, like, I think about it a lot. You know? So how long have you been going to a therapist? Since I got diagnosed. Oh, really? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I, so I was in the Army. I joined the Army after high school. I was in the Army for a couple of years. And so I get, like, I got, I was getting care through, like, the VA. And so once I got, like, my diagnosis from, or my, um, recommendation from Card, because, because they're, like, a research clinic, like, they can't do an official diagnosis. So they recommend you to a specialist to do your, your official diagnosis.

So they referred me to somebody. I took that up to the, the VA, the VA, the mental health care clinic, like, set it up, like, set me up with, like, the specialist and everything, because they don't have an autism specialist, you know. So they set me up with it and everything was taken care of. Like, I got very, I was very lucky in that aspect. But, like, that's what it finally took for me to get diagnosed. Like, was I had to find a place that could do it for adults.

Like, first I had to have, like, the, like, the interest and, like, the idea to even think I was autistic. Right, right. Yeah, it wasn't something I'd ever looked into. Like, I'd been diagnosed previously. with like ADD, severe anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. So I was just, I was like, it's just those things messing with my head, you know, because those, like, mental health issues can stack up on you, you know, and condense and

create more pressure. So I just thought it was all that, you know, just jumbled together. And then a nurse at the VA down in Cape Coral, I was in for, for, like, an appointment for something else. And she just casually, like, talking to me, like, doing my, blood pressure and stuff was like have you ever have you ever like like uh looked into getting like like finding out if you have like if you're on like the autism spectrum and i was like no i thought she was just trying to call me retarded yeah yeah you know like but she was like no she's like my nephew

has autism spectrum disorder and he has a lot of the same like um like you you just remind me of them a lot like you have like because i was i was like rocking on the table and stuff book while i was sitting waiting for her to come in and stuff and she's like you like you just like you just like you just have some similar, like, physical traits and then, like, some of your mannerisms and stuff, you just remind me a lot of my nephew. And, like, that just set off, like, the buzzer, you know what I mean? It's like, how old are you then? 29.

Okay. Yeah. You're at the army at that time? No, no, no, no. I was out. I was out. I was living in Fort Myers. I was, um, I was finishing my degree in graphic design and working as a graphic designer.

And, but just, like, hearing that, like, I went off on a tangent and started, like, researching autism. And the more I read, the more I was like, who are these people watching? watching me, you know? Yeah. Did you ever think about it before then at all? Never. Nope. No, because like, because like the way autism had always been portrayed in movies, like I could be more personable than Forrest Gump, you know, like I didn't, I didn't seem slow when people were talking to me. Yeah. You know, like, I wasn't, I couldn't like count cards or memorize phone books like fucking Rain Man. Yeah, yeah. You know, so I'm not autistic.

Right. Because that's how they portrayed autistic people. So that was the only idea I had of what autism was, you know? And then the, like, the extreme side of that being like Leonardo DiCaprio and like, what's eating Gilbert Grant just all droly and, yeah, you know. So I was like, those are the only examples, you know, so you don't think of it outside of those terms. Like, you know, what person watches Rain Man and then goes in like, like, what is autism and then learns everything about it, you know?

So, yeah, it was just never something that was, that I had ever even. considered and then that but that set off the light bulb and what's weird is I went to high school with two autistic brothers uh like on two different ends of the spectrum like one was was like a more severe um borderline non-verbal like very limited like words and phrases and things like that and then the other was he was like overly um overly not vocal that's not the right word but like overly precise in like his um like his enunciation and like proper sentence structure and like every word he said sound like every sentence sounded like it was from a textbook you know what i mean yeah it was like this is a talking dictionary yeah and so again just never considered that i was either one

of those things because my because because exactly my darts didn't land in the same area as theirs did right mine were more in that like internalized thought patterns executive function like i was always like sleeping in and late to you know late for stuff and you know that kind of thing and he was always early like yeah you know 20 minutes before anything like he's already there stretching warm whatever the activity is like he is fully prepared 20 minutes beforehand you know and so again like you just don't think of those things until someone finds a way like finds a way to frame your point of reference you know and she's like I have a I have a nephew and he does this, this, and this, and you did this, this and it reminded me of them,

and I was like, wait, I do do that, that and that and I don't see other people doing those things. Yeah. You know. So then you make an appointment and you go? Well, then I start, like, I start researching autism, like, you know, finding websites, finding, like, any online tests I can do, things like that. And then from there, I start looking into, like, okay, so based on all the stuff I've gathered now, like I think I might be autistic.

So now how do I find out for sure? You know? And so then I found like I started researching like clinics that could diagnose adults because everything most stuff online even is about like kids. Yeah. So I was like what about adults? Like how to and I eventually found like you know the card for at the University of Florida and my family happened to be from that area.

You know and I was living in Fort Myers at the time. So I got in touch with the center. They sent me like a packet of stuff. filled that out, sent it to them, and then they set me up it because it's, it's through the University of Florida. Like, it's a, it's a research clinic. So it was a free, like a free appointment. And, uh, and so got it all scheduled. And then I, I called and told my parents everything that I'd been like, you know, I, like, I think this might be what's happening, like what I've been dealing with and all this kind of stuff. And they're like, well, get up here. So, hmm.

The rest is history. The rest is history. Now, since you got diagnosed, what is the, What did they do? Like obviously you're now talking to a therapist. Is there, is there anything else that you're doing to cope with it? I mean, kind of.

So the therapy has been so helpful because like, basically I was able to take all of that like that internalized thought process and that like, you know, that hyper, like unhealthy self-awareness and like basically figure out ways to like, like handle it, you know,

like pick a topic or pick like a thing I was struggling with and work and talk to my therapy. about like how can I do this better like what can I you know finding like uh but like special alarms and stuff like I said I struggle with executive function being able to force myself to get up for stuff and you know things like that like I if it's something it's something I'm like excited about and something I really want to do like that's never a problem you know but it's like the I don't want to do this you know you know whatever it is I don't want to do laundry today before I leave like I'll do it later you know um like I have like a special alarm on my phone so like when

my alarm goes off, like, I have to, like, solve math problems, you know, which I'm not that kind of autistic, so math's not, math problems are hard for me. So, you know, I have to do math problems to get the alarm to turn off. And then, like, 90 seconds later, like, I have to, like, it checks in with me and I have to, like, hold down, like, a button on the screen to prove that I'm still awake and I didn't go back to sleep after, after turning the alarm off. Is this some sort of app or something? Yeah, it's an app. It's called Alarmy.

So I have that app, and then I also have one of the, it's like a Pavlock, like a wrist device that I set a backup alarm on it and that alarm like it's got a thing in here that actually zaps me. So it zaps me. So I have to get up, get out of the van and do jumping jacks to get it to stop zapping. And what are the purpose of these things, these apps? To help me wake up like to help me like to help me with my executive function. Like the pavletc device is just like some sort of a

discipline exercise. Kind of. Yeah. Well that's what Pavlov, Pavlock like that's where it comes from. So it's like that. Yeah. So you can literally like it's literally like it's literally like a have a positive habit training device. So like whether it's like quitting smoking or like exercising and things like that, like whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, you can like set your goals and different things. It's a super cool like yeah.

When I like again, my therapist like was telling me about like finding like different apps and alarms and things like that and I happen to find that device. And I was like, hey, what about this? And she's like, you know, like, she's like I'm not going to recommend something that zaps you. But if you think it's going to work for you like, you know, like, you know, I'm not basically like, I'm not suggesting electroshock therapy or anything here, you know.

But I came up, that was like a solution I found and I just presented it was like, hey, would this work for me because I'm interested in trying it, you know? So it's basically therapy helped me find healthier workarounds and healthier coping mechanisms and things because basically up until then, I'd basically engineered my own devices, but they were rudimentary devices. So, you know, if you're trying to move water with like an aquifer system versus trying to move water with like, you know, bamboo shoots. You know, like one's going to work better than the other. We have this really smart. One of our, like the smartest people I know, this guy, Nathan Crock, he's a scientist. He actually, he works up in Tallahassee. And he, uh, crazy smart guy.

And he was telling me he would like train, try to like, like, try to like, like, do certain things himself to try to enhance his discipline. He would do things like sleep on the floor for a month. Like every night he would sleep on the floor. Or for a month he would try to brush his teeth with his left hand. Like weird things like that, just so he would be more disciplined and get things done quicker and more efficient. I mean, he treats his brain like a supercomputer.

Like he tries to just, he's always trying to enhance his brain in his mind. Well, and that's kind of where I'm getting to now. like I said, after that acid trip, you know, experiment. But that's basically what I tried it for because there have been so much research. There's literally tons of research about like the positive effect of psychedelics in like dealing with autism spectrum disorder. Really? Yeah.

And so the best way I can explain it was it just it gave me like an extra set of tools to be able to sort, organize, and focus the things in my brain. and basically like reset some things in the control panel and like reset some parameters for myself. You know, like increasing my accountability on like, hey, we have to be, we have to be producing. Like we have to be writing more. We have to be, you know, all of these kinds of things. And, you know, like, again, the inmates can't be running the asylum. Like, I need the warden to crack down on this, you know.

Right. And so I'm getting, I'm getting better at that. And I also was like, you know, what other things do I need to do to be more productive? I need to start eating healthier because I'm a stand-up comedian. I'm basically eating garbage every night, like drive-thrus and, you know. Sounds like you're doing things everybody should be doing, man. Yeah. But it literally took me like sitting down and strapping myself into a chair and taking psychedelics to make it happen.

You know what I mean? Like I just couldn't wake up one day and be like, I'm going to do this. Like I literally had to like build up to it and plan out like, okay, how are we going to get us? to do this. When was the first time you took psychedelics? After I was diagnosed. I've taken acid twice. I took acid.

It's more hardcore than mushrooms. I mean, it's LSD. So yeah, a little more, I guess, psychedelic than mushrooms. Like the first time I took it was just the experiment of like, can I, can I, will I be okay with this? You know? And it was much more of like the external experience,

like seeing the colors and like the patterns and different, like, more of the visuals of psychedelics. And then the second time I took it, which was the time we were talking about, you know, conversation with the warden. And so that time I took it,

it was much more of like the internal and like the, you know, the meditation, the, you know, like the spiritual, you know, thing like that. And so for me it was more, or more of like the mental aspects of like,

I want to dive in and actually see if, like, you know, if I can access these things that people talk about with autism and psychedelics. That was cool. Yeah, I had a filmmaker dude on here a couple months ago who he actually made like a really popular YouTube documentary called Florida Man. And he said his dad was going through really severe depression for a while.

And he eventually convinced his dad to try acid. And he said his dad is like 100% cured. He's like not depressed anymore. Like they have a better relationship now. They hang out way more. And it said it took him like a long time to build his dad. that up to trying acid to try to figure out his depression. Yeah.

It's insane. It took me a while to build up to it. I mean, but it was, it took me, I had gotten my medical marijuana card, so I was already like six months into like medical marijuana before I started being like, okay, this hasn't done me any harm. So like, what other things could I look into that might help with this? And there's, like I said, there's just been tons of research about psychedelics and autism. So, you know.

Give it to try. Thanks a lot, government. Daddy needs his medicine. There's a couple states that made shrooms. Yeah. Legal, right? So I'm supposed to go to Portland in, we were supposed to go last week, but it got rescheduled because of coronavirus stuff and, like, theater limits and all that kind of stuff. Oh, wow.

In December, I'm doing the helium comedy club in Portland with Jay Muse. So I feature for Jay Muse from Jay and Silent Bob. Hell, yeah. So we're going up there, and I'm definitely. trying psychedelics. Because it's all legal there now. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Is Jay going to do them with you?

Jay is 10 years sober. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. They got to smoke pot? That's right. Really? Nope. His one vice that he still has is caffeine.

Goes hard on the caffeine. He'll drink like four Red Bulls and like, so his Starbucks order is five shots of espresso with milk on the side. And then he basically like a little bit of milk into the espresso, gets it to like a good temperature and then I'll like drink half a little bit more milk drink the other half and he will do that three times a day. So we're talking about like 15

shots of espresso, four Red Bulls but that dude is constantly going. Yeah. Like he Twitch streams like 10 like we'll be all like we were in at bananas in New Jersey. You ever tried cocaine it's probably way more efficient. Well I think that was

the problem was too efficient. No we we did the bananas comedy club in Hasbrook Brook Heights a couple months ago. And while we were there, he was Twitch streaming like 10 hours a day. All right, like split into like two, five hour sessions. Then we'd be at the club for, we had two shows a night. So we were at the club for like another four hours, like for both shows and stuff.

So now we're at 14 hours now for his like workday, right? Then he still like goes back and he'll either like do an additional Twitch stream or he'll do like some promo content and stuff like, you know, for his Twitch stream. or we were doing stuff like the next day we had to do stuff at the secret stash like his and Kevin Smith's comic book store they were doing meet and greets Saturday

so Saturday he did like six hours of meet and greets 10 hours of Twitch streaming and four hours of the club like I don't know when he's just going to know so wow but that's what 15 shots espresso would do. What made him want to quit everything I think

like becoming a dad and like it just he it got to the point where I think it was like stressing his relationships with Kevin and you know and I think and well I mean this is a pretty like was he using alcohol too or just weed um alcohol and all kinds of drugs okay he's doing everything yeah um and it was the it was at the point like uh like it's pretty well documented like him and Kevin Smith had a whole thing where he's like if you can get sober we'll do clerks too so he's been sober since clerks too oh cool yeah so I never saw that. Really? No. Yeah, where we actually... I saw the first one. That's the movie that taught...

That's the movie that taught American culture. You never go ask him out. Yeah. What's the one where they're in, like... The one scene that I'll never forget is what, like, they're in... They're somewhere, and there's fucking lasers everywhere. And they're, like, climbing over the laser beam.

Yeah, that's the movie. Yeah, that's the movie. Yeah, that's the movie. Hmm. That's cool, man. That's when they break into, like, the animal facility and free the monkey. Yes. Yeah.

He's the click commander. Yeah. That's how I intro him. Yeah. So, okay, so how I met Jay was, so like I said, I converted the van, right? And I put together, like, my own road show. And I did a show in Austin, Texas, Colorado Springs. I did some open mics in, like, in, like, Nashville and Atlanta and stuff.

And then my buddy, a comedy buddy of mine, he had moved to Kansas City. And he, like, saw, like, I had an open show and I didn't have to go back through Texas because that would have been the long way to go, like, because I was going to Nashville next. So Kansas City was all in the way. And I saw he had a showcase show. And I was like, hey, I'm going to be able to make it to Kansas City in time to see your show. Like, you know, let's catch up and hang out. And he's like, oh, hell yeah, awesome.

Like, you know, I'll let everybody know you're coming. And then he messaged me back. He's like, hey, do you want to do a guest spot? And I was like, sure, yeah. And then so I looked at the club where that show was at and they had an open mic the night before, like an outdoor like patio mic because of COVID. So I went like, I was like,

I'm basically instead of sleeping in the van here in Colorado, I'll just go ahead and drive, you know, today, make it there, do the open mic, sleep in the parking lot there, then do the show the next day. Yeah. So I did the open mic and the club owner was there. And so I met the club owner and we got to talking and then did the showcase the next night.

And then after I made it home, the club ran a contest to open for J. Muse. And so I messaged them like I submitted for the contest. I was like, hey, don't know if you remember me. I'm the guy from Florida to Rob's friend. You know, I was like, you know, and submitted my video clip or whatever. And he's like, you didn't need to submit a video. I remember you. He's like, are you sure you want to come from Florida?

Like all the way from Florida. to do a like a seven minute spot on a contest that you might not win. And I was like, yeah, sure. And he's like, bring your ass on. And so I went to do the contest. And I figured I was going to lose just because like I'm not from there. Like other people like, I didn't know how they were doing like any voting or anything like that. And I was like if it's like an audience vote, like everybody else is bringing people.

You know. But I just wanted to go because he had already seen me before. And I was like, even if I don't win, if he sees me again, maybe he'll just book me for something else. Right, right? So in my head, I was like, that's how I made it worth it.

I was like, even if I did. Exactly. But I went and then I won. Oh, shit. Yeah, because they had two comedians judging the contest. So they did those two judge votes plus audience vote.

And I won. Nice. Yeah. And so then I came back to open for Jay because he was there doing a weekend. And so he was there doing a weekend. He was like, hey, pick a night you can be here, and that's the night you'll open for Jay. And so I was doing the Thursday night show because I was booked to be in Orlando Saturday night.

So I was like, if I do the Thursday night, I can hit the road, I can make it to the Tennessee like state line. There's a rest area there that I, from all my trips back and forth to Kansas City at this point. I was like, this is where my, like where I sleep right before my last stop before Florida. You know, and it's what the Tennessee, Georgia state line. There's this amazing, like, rest area on both sides, like this big, like, I want to say aquifer, but that's not the right word. But, like, it's big, like water, like retention area or whatever. And there's, like, an island with mountains and shit. So it looks like Jurassic Park.

Yeah. Like a landfill, maybe. Maybe. No, it's beautiful, though. It's like a nature preserve and, like, water. water reserve. Yeah. Okay. So, but it's beautiful. And so I was like, okay, I can do the show in Kansas City with Jay,

make it back to drive through the night to here, sleep there, wake up, make the rest of the drive the next day, and then make it to Orlando, you know, by Saturday and all that kind of stuff. But the show went so well opening for him that I literally, I have audio of this, like, on my TikTok because I record my shows with, like, my Apple Watch, so I have, like, my perfect audio right here, like next to my mic. And my Apple Watch was still recording. I went off the stage, through the door into the green room,

and one of my comedy buddies who was featuring, he was going up next. And so, you know, we, you know, do our thing like, hey, good, you know, break a leg, all that. Yeah. And then Jay's, like, road manager is right there. And he's like, hey,

um, uh, Jay wants to, like, get your information. Like, are you okay? Like, are you okay to fly and like, come on, like, he wants to bring on the road to feature for him. And then, and so I'm talking to him about all this. And then Jay sticks his head out of the green room. And he's like, hey, bro, can you get on planes and shit?

Sick. Yeah. And then we have like a conversation. Yeah. Just, as soon as I heard the voice, it's like, he's behind me. You know? Yeah. That's cool.

Yeah, it was fucking awesome. And so, yeah. That's amazing. That's my guy. So you record all your shows on your watch? Yeah. So I record my audio with just like the voice memos, like for, on an Apple Watch.

Yeah. I record my audio here. So, because I keep my mic in my left hand. So I get a perfect audio recording of my show. And then I'll sync that with my video. So it's almost like my camera is like the audience audio. And then I have my audio to put over it.

Wow. Yeah. You got good audio. That's 200 IQ. Yeah. Well, no, that's intense focuses and being all about comedy.

I listen to like every comedy podcast. And that's a Brian Redband. tip. Oh, is it really? Yeah. Brian Redband was, I think it was on Rogan, but he was telling Rogan that's what he does. And I was like, check, I have an Apple Watch. I can do that. Yeah. And so, yeah. That's incredible. I never even, you know what? I never even thought

about that with one of those eyewatches. You could just go in and record anything without people knowing about it. You can do some fucking deceptive ass shit with one of those watches. Yeah, because I keep it for, like, I keep it on like, do not disturb an airplane mode for my recording. Right. And, So once I set it to start recording and put my wrist down, like the screen will not come back on again until I physically like touch the button and unlock it. So it stays dark.

So yeah, if you were in a room with other people like to, again, depending on like the state laws of like recording and conversations. Oh, I have to call my lawyer. But yeah, you could definitely do some like spy shit. Jeez, I never even thought about that, dude. This guy's got two, one on each wrist. Who, Aiden? You? No, that's just a fitness tracker and that's a Cassio.

Yeah, sure it is. It's just a Cassio, but it doesn't record, I swear. Yeah. So, huh, Red Band, Brian Redband talking about. You listen to a lot of podcasts? I feel like that's a thing with comedians. They're all about everything. Oh, I like the podcast where you can learn things about comedy.

Yeah. You know what I mean? But comedians and podcasts, they always go hand in hand. Oh, yeah. Well, because, like, most comedians were the podcasting pioneers. That's kind of our art form. You know what I mean? Like if you were taking an acting class, you were watching the Oscars.

You know? Yeah. Conversations are hard to have. Yeah. Well, not just that, but like. It's hard to keep a conversation going for a long time and have it be like quick and have it be concise and staying. You know what I mean?

Like ping ponging off each other. Yeah. Well, not just that. Like you add to that like comfort level. Like if it's like a strange person, it's like, okay. Like I don't know how like what I can talk to you about that's going to keep this conversation going. versus like if you're a comic, you know a bunch of other comics.

We talk to each other all the time, bro. We're just going to record it. Right. You know. If two people are in a room together and they have a conversation and it's not recorded on a podcast, does the conversation actually happen? Well, I mean, it's the same thing with comedy, right? Like, that's why they say, like, as a comedian, you have to write everything down or, like, find a way to record it. Because if you think of the perfect joke, but nobody hears it and you never wrote it down or recorded it, did you really think of that joke or not?

or not. No. Exactly. Exactly. Because good luck remembering that joke. Like, like you think of something

funny right before you're falling asleep. Good luck remembering it the exact same way the next day. Right. Right. Good fucking luck.

Yeah. So like, yeah. Fuck, I got to remember this in the morning. I gotta remember this in the morning. Please, please, please.

And so, but now, like, the way I literally have to think about is if I have a funny thought. I'd be like, I better write that down or I'll never get paid for it.

Yeah. You know? And so literally it's like, you just write, Paycheck. Can you just talk it into your watch? Yeah, I do my voice memos. Like if I have my watch on or do it on my watch,

I do it in the voice memos on my phone. I'll do it in like notes, Google Keep. Like literally whichever one I can get to the fastest, or like depending on what the idea is, like, you know, like if I just have like a random thought and I'm like, I don't know what I want to do with this yet, so I'll just write that in my notes app or something. Or I'll go into Google Keep and start doing a voice recording.

Like if it's something like, I'm going to work this out. out loud, I'll go into Google Keep and do a voice recording in that because it converts it to text as you're speaking it. Oh, really? Yeah. Is it accurate? It's pretty, I mean, it fucks it up a little bit, but it's decent, you know? So I'll do that and then like just break it into like pieces.

And then I can always go back and like, okay, what can I do to make this piece funnier? What can I do to make this piece funnier? And at least recording it that way, I have a general outline of what I want that bit to be, you know? Right, right. And then I just go through and like, oh, make this better. this sucks you know and so like i said some for something like that i'll do it in there if it's something like this idea just hit me i'm gonna rant about it right now because nothing i'll ever think of after this is going to be as funny as it is in my head right now i'll just straight to voice

memo the whole thing yeah i love doing the voice thing but i can't do it when i'm laying when i'm laying next to my wife in bed at like 1 a m i wake her ass up i'll be fucked but what i do is i send myself emails if i have a great idea i'll just email myself so when i wake up in the morning. It's the first thing I see when I open my phone. That's smart. I like that. I don't know if it's smart, but it's kind of primitive, actually. But it works. There are other, there are comics that do that. Like, um, I think Todd Barry, he just writes emails. Like, he free writes and he just does

them as emails and sends them to himself and it goes back through them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, for me, I title each email, like, with the same word at the beginning. Like, I, I just put like, idea slash and then I type it. So that way, when I go to my email and I search the word idea, I just have all these emails I've emailed myself over the years. Nice. I like that actually. I like that a lot. I think there's other apps that are probably better at that that you can use,

but emails was like the most convenient one I think of. No, that's really, I like that. Yeah, it's cool. So when's your next show? Wednesday night in Atlanta. Oh, Atlanta? In Atlanta, yeah. Oh, you really are on the road.

Yeah, I'm going to Atlanta for Satellite for the World Series of Comedy. Nice. So, yeah, I'm on the Wednesday show. doing the wild card round so if i can advance from there is this new like in the past month or two that comedy clubs have been like doing a lot of shows like this like how soon did this open back up like it is now because i feel like now it's happening more than well now basically like they kind of timed this out to like reopen like as everything else is reopening so most clubs have been have been either limited capacity or like i mean clubs have been open for a little bit in certain

places but like I said like we were supposed to do Portland in like March and it's been rescheduled like four times because Portland just keeps shit like go back and forth on COVID restrictions right so so you know um but then like like Kansas City was open in December it was limited capacity so I think it was like um like 1 25 you know in a 400 seat room so they had like people had to buy like instead of buying individual tickets you had to buy tables you know and things like that, but those shows ended up being awesome, you know? And then like, but then like Florida, like, we haven't given a shirt. Florida's pretty wide.

Yeah, we stopped carrying in July, bro. Like, yeah. So like the, I think, like, most of the shows we've done here are like just fully sold out, you know. And some places, like they tried to adapt, like, one club had like, like, raised, like, it was like a hat, like a semicircle room and like the front row was like floor level. and then the next row behind them was like elevated like 12 inches, you know, and then the one behind them was picked up. So they just put like plexiglass, like the whole length of like the rail between each row.

Yeah. So they just separated people like hockey stadiums. That's insane. You know. Yeah. Yeah, I remember we went to side splitter. It's probably in like July and it was completely loaded, packed to the gills, people shoulder to shoulder, eating and drinking, fucking everything, getting wild.

Yeah, bro. Florida to, yeah. Yeah, Florida does not. Like, Florida is wild boy central. We were in Ebor. When were we in Ebor with Mike? I don't know. Four or five months ago.

Yeah, it was the most insane experience. We were in this nightclub for my friend, my buddy's bachelor party. And it was fucking, we were crammed into this little ass nightclub like sardines. Dead mid, COVID. Every, mid, yeah. It was, I think it was before July. Maybe. It was towards the end of the year.

Was it? Because the wedding was like, what, August or September? And I remember standing in there, and it took us. So in this little nightclub from like, from where I am, maybe to like that door right there to the bathroom. And it took us probably 15 minutes to get that far. Oh, yeah. To get through all the people. And I'm like, if we don't, if we haven't had COVID yet, we're definitely going to have.

Oh, yeah. It was the breeding. Breeding grounds for it. It was fucking disgusting. We went to, uh, parks and wreck. Oh, yeah. We went there like two weeks ago and that place was fucking lit. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Just everybody nut to butt on the dance floor, you know, like people playing pool, like strangers that, like complete strangers just full on licking each other in the face. Like, yeah, bro. Like we don't get. Like the bushwacker. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I saw you and Jay, me and Mike not too long ago. And that's where we found you. And it was packed there. I mean, it was jam packed there. We went to Tampa not too long ago. It was packed. Yeah, that was down in, you guys saw me down in Naples. Yeah.

Yeah. Fucking Naples doesn't believe in COVID. Like, come on. I mean, it was packed. Yeah. They're like what virus? There's the virus. Yeah.

But Florida actually did pretty good, right, with their numbers, with their, like, cases and their deaths and everything, didn't they? We sucked at the beginning because we, you know, but then, like, I think, honestly, I think we reached a certain level of herd immunity at a certain point. And that's when our cases started dropping because, because, because, you know, we, you know. Because again, strangers have been out at club since July, licking each other in the face, bro. Right. You know. We're all immune. Yeah.

Because Florida is the vaccine. Yeah. Dude, as soon as outdoor open mics started back up, comics, we were full on kissing each other on the mouth, bro. You know, like sharing microphones and, yeah. Was Dave Chappelle the first one to do the outdoor comedy shows during COVID? It's the first one I saw. He was doing in Ohio. There were a couple different people.

that kind of like pioneered some things like that like he was doing like the outdoor shows with like the like the like the big like awnings and like because it was like a wedding venue kind of thing and then like bert was doing he kept his like his tour going and was doing like drive-in shows you know and so and then like in new york a couple people they were doing like riverfront and rooftop shows and things like that like and drive-in shows and stuff so yeah everyone everywhere kind of had their own like little pioneers of like you know like this is what we're we're going to try and like figuring out different things and yeah man do you do you like it when there's a big crowd versus a smaller crowd or do you do you have any like preference of crowd size i know i know some people like to have like just stadiums and some people just like to have small well i'm 70 people i haven't done a stadium i think the biggest crowd i've done so far was like 450 okay um pretty big 450 is big and it's a lot of fun um i think i think i think like 25300 is like the perfect number. You know what I mean?

Because in a room that size, like, if you can get like, 300 people, if you can get 20% of the room to laugh at something, that's that, yeah, it's going to create a wave. You know what I mean? And I like, like, I have the kind, I have jokes that I like, I like to sit in the silence sometimes. Like I'll say a line and then just sit and wait for like it to start traveling because it's one of those things like

somebody's going to giggle. Yeah. And somebody's going to giggle. That giggle's going to make somebody laugh. That laugh is going to make somebody else laugh and then by like like eight seconds later the whole room is laughing. You know? And I dig following that trajectory, you know? So, and that's the perfect size room for it. And then it's also like when you hit like the big like those belly laugh lines man and you have 300 people just full on laughing from their chest and they can't stop. Yeah. It's like directing a like a

Violent orchestra kind of because you're like I like I there's going to be moments where I want to hit that like the the heavy notes and I'm literally forcing air out of all of you. You know? Yeah But it's fun. Oh yeah. I fucking love it. Yeah. You're a roast anyone in the crowd? Oh, I do a lot of like the content I have online is like crowd work stuff and and things like that and then I've done actual like roasts Roasts. Roasts are fun. Any roast battles? Yeah. Like we did a in Gainesville. we did like a festivist like Christmas roast like a you know and so we did it like a Comedy Central roast like a whole panel so everybody had a turn to roast everybody else I've done two of those we did one for like a Christmas one and then we did one for a stripper's birthday stripper's birthday yeah because she's she's an open micer and you know so she's a comedian yes that's awesome she was a yeah her regular job was stripper and then her Her passion. Yeah, exactly. Her hobby was stand up. Awesome.

And so the stripper, strip club pays the bills. Exactly. Yeah. But so we roasted her for her birthday. And that was like, honestly, that was the funnest one because I wasn't even supposed to be on it. Like I didn't, I didn't know they were doing it. I just came to, I was going to work, do some new stuff at the open mic. And they were doing the roast after the open mic.

And so I showed up and Sarah, the, the girls was like, hey, like, are you doing the roast? And it was like, I didn't know there was a roast. so I didn't have a chance to prepare for everybody. And then her boyfriend and, like, the lady he had hired to, like, do her birthday cake, showed up with the cake. And I got to, like, see this whole exchange. And I was like, no, I'm doing it. I'm talking about this.

Yeah, but I'm doing the roast. So then I got a list of everybody on the roast. And, like, I had, like, half hour of open mic time to basically write jokes for, like, seven people. and it ended up being the most fun. That's awesome. How often do you like come up with stuff when you're doing a live set? Like how often do you just like come up with stuff like right then and there that day and like just think of something on the fly versus stuff that you've been writing and curating over a long period of time? So most of the stuff like if I think about it like that day, I won't do it on like a ball.

booked show. Like I'll, I'll be like, okay, I'm going to go to this, like, this open mic tomorrow to try this thing. Or like, depending on the show, if it's something, like I said, if it's one of those things that like hits me and I'm like, I know this is going to work. Because that's the cool thing is like, I've been doing it long enough now and I've gotten to a level where like, I'll think of something and like as soon as I think of it, I was like, that's going to work exactly the way I thought it first try. You know, and like, and with like 89% confidence. You know what I mean? and I'll take a risk on 89% I'll like I can squeeze that like

in a 30 minute set or a 25 or 20 minute set be like okay I'll have I'll have like 12 minutes of good material I can take a risk at the at the 12 minute mark get this joke out see how it lands and then if it doesn't land I'll swap these two things

around and come back with like a knockout you know what I mean yeah so because it could be something it could be like a really good joke or like some really good material but if the timing is off by like a second or two seconds or whatever. If the timing is off, if it's not the right room for that joke, you know what I mean? There's all kinds of things that can like a, so typically I won't like throw a joke out or make any big adjustments to it until I've done it, you know, a handful of times at least.

And then be like, okay, this hasn't worked six times in a row. So this line needs to change. But this part worked, you know, 40% of the time. So maybe I just need to tinker with this line a lot. little bit. Right, right. So, I think it was cool how,

what's his name was telling us? I forget who. I think it was, David Lucas was telling us that, uh, at the, uh, the comedy club on Hollywood Boulevard,

what's it called? The comedy store. Yeah. He was saying how like on Monday and Tuesday nights just all these like fucking big shot comedians would just come in randomly with no notice and just try to work on new shit that they're, that they've written. Yeah.

Well, that's the thing. Like Rogan talks about that. all the time. Like the Tuesday night lineups at the store used to be killers because it would be like, it would be like Delea and Jezzlenek and Whitney Cummings and Rogan and Chappelle and Burr all doing 15 minutes back to back to back to back you know and then why wouldn't you would think that the that would be like the night everyone wants to go. You know what I mean? It is. So those are the most packed nights at the comedy stores. Those nights and then the weekends like whenever they have

like the weekends because on the weekends they'll have like three of those people all headlining in different rooms. Right. So it'll be more those specific fans versus like comedy fans in general. You know what I mean? Like on a Tuesday night, it's not like all Joe Rogan fans coming to see Joe Rogan do 15 minutes. Like they're going to want to see his hour. But they're like, you know, the people that like listen to the podcast and stuff and they like,

are they just like comedy in general or they're like, I've watched all six of these guys specials. Like I want to see what they're working on. It's more of those people on like a Tuesday night at the cellar. So it's more of like a regular. mic and that it's a mixed crowd. But do you think they marketed on the Tuesday nights and the Monday nights? You think they randomly pop in? No, no.

They, a lot of them are marketed, but then you still have guys that, like, Chris Rock might pop in. Right, right. Dave Chappelle might not be on the lineup, but if he shows up, they're going to put him on. He's Dave Chappelle. Yeah, I thought it was, I thought it was really cool the fact that they would just show up unannounced. You know what I mean?

Like, you could be there for, a lot of guys do. You could be there for fucking whoever, Bill Burr, and then Dave Chappelle just shows up. Yeah. And they do that a lot. Like that's what happened down here in Florida So like Ron White was booked at off the hook in Naples But it'd been so long since he'd been doing comedy

That he just brought his bus to Florida And was popping in and doing different rooms And stuff like that at different clubs just showing like Joe List was at side splitters right And Ron White just showed up and was like Hey Joe do you mind if I do like 15 20 minutes And he's like yeah you're Ron fucking white you know what I mean So that night the people that bought tickets to see go

Joe List got to see special guest Ron fucking white. Right. So awesome. Yeah. And so he was doing that. And then a bunch of like private like hard rock gigs, you know, and stuff for his tequila brand and all that kind of stuff. And just sharpening the iron before his book shows.

And then when I got to see him in Naples, he was fucking razor sharp. And then the last night he was there because that club where you guys saw me, that weekend went so great. Like the club owner likes me a lot. and I'd been there to see Ron White and so I'd seen him just a couple, like two days before and so he called me and he's like, hey, so Ron White has a closer.

So Ron White finishes his set and the show's not over. They bring on a closer to come on and do additional time while the club drops checks and stuff like that. Like the club doesn't drop the checks at the tables until Ron White's done. Done, yeah. So he's like, hey, the closer is only booked for three of his four days here.

do you want to close these shows for Ron White? And I was like, oh, you want me to follow Ron White? Oh, fuck you! Yeah, I'll do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't turn that down. And so, but I was terrified because I was like, but that was my thought. I was like, this is what it would be like if I go to the comedy store and get on a Tuesday night.

It's like, I'm going to have to follow some sort of killer legend, you know. So I was like, this is the test, right? And so I was like worried, because like in comedy, like, if somebody before you, absolutely kills. You have to match that. And if you can't match that, you're in a hole right out of the game. And sometimes depending on who it is, you're just in a whole

period. You know what I mean? Like, especially in that situation, like, I'm there doing that, like, during the check drop. Like, in their head, they've already seen the guy they paid money to see. You know, let's fucking sign this check for this two, right, a minimum bullshit, and let's get the fuck out of here. But, so

I was like, in my head, I was like, I've got to dig out of two holes. So if I can dig out of two holes and do this, like, that means I can do this. Yeah. You know? It was a good test. No hole. Hell, yeah.

No hole. Smooth as butter, just right into material and killed it. Wow. Yeah. Like, so normally, like, normally doing that check drop spot, like, I just do material until everybody leaves. Like, everyone's checks are done. Most people, like, once they're checked or done, they might stay for another minute or two, but then their table gets up and leave.

So I'm basically, like, clearing the room. you know but that first show i was doing 15 i was supposed to do yeah he's like he's like basically do 15 and at one point i like i was looking around and all of the servers were done and just standing around the room and i was like all right so i just wrapped it up right there i like stopped two minutes short because everyone was just still in their seats like nobody's leave nobody had left yeah that's amazing so yeah and so but it went so well like um the second show that he was like Dude, do 25.

Like, we don't have another show to do after this. So just fucking go. Right. So, and I did it twice, you know. It seems like such a grind to do, especially if that's your main source of income. Oh, yeah. Like, that's got to be fucking one of the most difficult things to do when you have nothing. I mean, I understand.

It makes so much sense if you already have money and you're comfortable. And you're like, I want to, I mean, that's what happens to most people when they make a lot of money or they make it. And there's like, I want to switch it up. I want to go try this. Because it's not, you're not dependent. dependent on that to make money. You're just doing it because you strictly enjoy it. But that's why those people, you don't hear about those people.

Like, almost no, there's very few famous comedians that, like, come from money. Because you have the money, you have the security, you never take it serious. Like, it's a hobby to you. You know what I mean? Versus the people that are like, look, I don't have anything else I'm looking forward to. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have a career. I have a job.

Right. You know, or, you know, I'm a student or like, I've had a bunch of dead-end jobs and none of them went anywhere. Like, this is the thing I like. Like, I'm going to, I want this to be my career. And, you know, the people that they're like, this is what I'm going to use to feed myself. Those are the people, because they, they instill that drive in themselves. Right. You know.

Yeah, that's when you, I mean, you kind of like, that's when you, like, literally my success in comedy is now necessary for my survival. Right. You know, so I have to, I have to, you know, keep my focus on that. And I have to keep working and I have to keep pushing and I have to keep going. I don't have a choice. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah. Like, I had a bunch of different fucking jobs and they all eventually, I burnt out from all of them.

This is the first thing I've had where it's like, one, it's mine. Like, nobody can fire me from it. Nobody can tell me, you know, as long as I'm good at doing it, I can do it for as long as I want. You know what I mean? Hell yeah. And so I'm master of my own destiny now. And literally, like, I drive around in a van wherever I decide. I'm like, I'm going to go here.

Like, I just went down to Fort Myers for the weekend to hang out at the club there because my buddy was featuring. And I was like, I'm going to go watch him feature, you know. I'm just sleeping the party lot, you know. Man, that's nice. It's very free. Exactly. Yeah.

And there's also, like, the mental benefit of, like, every day I wake up, I have something to do. I have like, okay, I'm going here. You know, like, it's literally like you can feel your momentum because I'm literally moving, you know? Like a shark, like I can't stop swimming. The hardest part for most people is marrying the talent with the discipline. Because that's why you say the most creative people in the world

are diners or their waiting tables. Yeah. Because they never found the discipline to, and they never were able to tie that lasso. around their creativity or around the muse, as some people like to call it. Yeah. And I struggle with that sometimes.

But I also, like, when I'm struggling with that, I'm like, okay, what, like, muscle can I build up to make it easier to get around this? Like, what muscle can I build up so I can wrestle with this a little bit better? You know what I mean? So when I'm struggling with that, like, I'll go to an open mic and just say what I'm thinking.

And literally just, I'm going to talk out loud until I find something funny, and this is what we're doing. And now, like, I've created that artificial pressure. You know what I mean? Like, all of these people can't just watch me eat shit for five minutes. I got to come up with something and, like, basically forcing myself to respond. You know, like, once you're on stage, like, you can't procrastinate anymore. It's time to work.

You're there. You know? Yeah, 100%. It's got to be very therapeutic, too. A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just cool.

because like, like I said, I was so bad at, like, communicating with people. And then, like, now I found this way to communicate with a large group of people. And I just, I figured out, like, my method of communication that lets me relate to people. You know what I mean? So at this point, like, I literally need it because this is how I interact with society. Yeah. Like, this is my socialization. And I have to have socialization.

Every human being does. Like, even the most, like, isolated, like, You know, introverted person needs human interaction. And now I have it, you know? Do you have a podcast, too? I'm working on a podcast. You're the only person in the world who doesn't have a podcast. I know.

I know. So I started a podcast early on, but it was during COVID, and it was so hard to get guests. And like I said, one of the things, like I'm better in person in the room because I can read body language. I can make eye contact. I can do those things. Yeah. You know, versus like a Zoom. I hate this.

Yeah. So it just got so hard booking guests that I was like, well, I just can't do this right now, you know? And then with the van, I was moving around so much that I was like, well, it's hard to book guests for this. So, but now, and my current van is so small, I just didn't have a place to record like a solo, you know. But now with the new van, I'm literally setting up like the podcast studio in it. And, you know, wherever I'm at, like, if I'm at a mic, like, hey, who wants to come do the podcast? Hell yeah. Now I just have to, like, lure strangers into my van.

but um there's some candy in the van the solo stuff is crazy the people that are able to sit in front of a microphone and just talk about shit and ramble that is some serious fucking talent but that's the same thing I've been doing in my voice memos you know what I mean like I was the thing I realized like I've already kind of been doing this

and then like with all of like the software like I have the Adobe suite right for like editing and stuff and so I'm like I can use like the rolling record and you know like think about something go off on it a little bit, stop, and then right where I left off at, start recording again, like my next thought or idea or expand on it. And it's all just one, because I can roll that recording and stop and go whenever I want. I was like, that's the way to do it and just come up with like 15,

you know, it doesn't have to be long, like 15 minutes of that. Just do like a, like a rant or a solo and, you know, just pick something and go. My best person that, my favorite ranter right now is that guy Tim Dillon. God, he's so fucking funny, dude. He just sits there by himself and just talks. I've never found someone more entertaining that can just sit there by themselves and talk. Well, that's the thing.

That's part of why I stopped doing the podcast because I couldn't get guests. And I, again, talking about, like, unhealthy coping and, like, figuring out, like, how to, you know, when I was a kid, I always thought there was just something wrong with my brain. You know, like, my parents didn't know I was autistic because I was smart, so they just thought I was, like, a nerd. You know what I mean? They're like,

he's just nerdy. So they put me in like every sport and club and group and stuff like that to force like socialization. So that's how I learned to socialize was I was like, you got to do it. Like, you know, throw your kid in the water. They got to learn to swim, you know? And so I learned my coping mechanisms

with interaction and stuff like that. But the other part of that was like, I realized at a certain point in life I was like, you can't just talk out loud to yourself. People will think you're weird. So that was always, a part of my brain was like you can't talk out loud to yourself people are going to know something's wrong with you and now that i'm like doing common i'm like fuck i have to talk out loud

to myself you've been telling yourself the whole time or i'm gonna starve yeah did your parents bring you around a lot of other kids when you were when you were young oh yeah my parents um both coached little league sports oh wow like my dad coached baseball and football and my mom coached cheerleading and softball and my mom was like treasurer of like our small town youth league so they weren't like hermits like hoarding you no no that's what i'm saying like they made sure we i got socialized like they said they didn't know it was autism but they just knew you know i was an intelligent kid so they just thought i was awkward because i was like a nerd you know what i mean like this is going to be a real like pocket protector type of kid and we got to keep them from getting bullied like

we got to teach them a sport or a skill or something right You know? And so I just, I just learned by exposure, like over exposure, you know, sink or swim. Yeah, but I bet that does happen to a lot of people, though, who have, like, parents who don't let them out of the house. Parents who are lazy, you know what I mean, who don't try to socialize their kids or mix them in other environments. Kids like that could grow up fucked up. Mm-hmm. Have you ever seen that soft white underbelly guy, Mark Leda?

He's a channel called Soft White Underbelly where he actually lives in downtown L.A., and he has a studio right on. Skid Row and he just interviews all the homeless people all the crackheads all the hookers all the gang members and he's done probably a few thousand videos already a few thousand interviews of people that sounds fucking cool yeah it's insane and and um he said like the number one common denominator with all those people is their parents fucked them up when they were young just like lazy parents or parents who were just already addict they just accidentally had kids and they was like fuck now this is a burden i have to deal with yeah well and also just think about how many like people like develop mental health issues not even because of like like purposefully or like intentionally bad parenting or like think about the kids that like messed up because their parents were just trying the best like trying their best but they just didn't know like how many like how much parenting techniques and like things like that and like child psychology has changed and like all the things we know about like you know spankings now cause these kinds of like mental health things like just all of the stuff our parents didn't know right and like they were doing the best they could.

You know what I mean? So, like, how do you fault someone for doing the best they could with the, with the information they had at the time? Yeah, but I don't think that's the issue. No, no. I'm not, and I'm not saying it is. I definitely, there are definitely parents that were just, like, neglectful, you know, like, irresponsible, you know, absentee, like all of those kind of things. Not to mention, like, abusive, violent. Like, all of those kinds of things definitely fuck you up.

But then all, but that's what I'm saying, like, there's also that marginalized group of mental health issues that's, it's not that their parents were any of those things. things, it's just that they didn't have the skills necessary to overcome those things. Right. You know what I mean? Like, think about, like, and again, this, like, people who come from, like, poor and, like, historically impoverished places, like, the, that, that triangle in Florida. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, think about the people who grew up out there with, like, you know, parents who, it's not that they are trying to be absentee, but your dad's having to work 95 hours a week. and your mom has an underlying mental health issue that nobody knows about because you live in a place where you can't afford mental health services. Right. Yeah. You know, think about all of those people.

Money is a huge thing too, right? Yeah. Sure, yeah. Money, that's the whole, you know, that's the whole thing is like money is the primary, like, hindrance to most health care. Not even just specifically mental health care. Mental health care is already hard enough on its own to access just because it's so limited and there's such a stigma around it.

You know, in Denmark, they will, when you have a baby, they will pay you to have a babysitter for like the first five or six years. They'll also issue you stipends to take like parenting courses and things like that. Right, which is crazy. But isn't that the way it should be?

It shouldn't be crazy. I have to get a license to go on the road and drive because I could drastically change. the course of someone's life. Yeah. Why do I not also have to have a license to raise two people and drastically impact the course of their lives? Yeah.

Yeah, you should. Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree with that. But it works in Denmark. It fucking, I mean, Denmark's also a very small country. It's so much different than us. Yeah. And I think that's the bigger thing.

It's like, when you have a smaller population, it's, easier to pick up on outliers than when you have a large massive population because you have to worry so much about that cluster. You know what I mean? Like your outliers can't be your priority because by definition you have to worry about the majority. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Having a, I mean, to like say that people would have to get a license to have kids, that's kind of crazy, huh? That's a crazy idea. Not a license, but like shouldn't there be some sort of. sort of requirements. Take some classes or something. Like not saying a license, but like if you're going to have a baby, you have to complete these things.

You know what I mean? Like you have to fill out all the paperwork at the hospital. Right. You know, you have to, you have to. You got to pay the bill. You know, you at least like, and I'm not saying like there has to be a test, but at least like some sort of like, hey, I've completed the, the course materials. Mm-hmm.

You know? Like I have to, a CNA in Florida. you know, a nursing assistant whose primary job is like patient, hygiene, and things like that. Like to literally clean, clean people and keep them hygienic, you have to complete like a certificate course. But you don't have to complete that same course

when they hand you a new one? Right, yeah. Like, you're telling me I have to complete a course to take care of, like, the oldest beater on the lot, but a brand new one you'll just hand me with no questions asked. Yeah, it's crazy Yeah, but when, I mean, when it comes to like kids, though It's it's weird because it's like people's right to

Fucking have kids You know what I mean? And if they don't if they refuse to do all that stuff They refuse to be conscientious or if they refuse to be responsible I mean, you can't really like there's nothing you can do We do it now It's we do child protective services get called when parents like Prove to be neglectful and people in the

court and the government take people's children away from them. So why is it not okay to install a preventative measure for that? Yeah. Why is it not okay to install another set of checks and balances to limit that? Like if we're talking about like protecting kids and that's what everyone talks about is such a priority, why are we not protecting them from the start? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, there needs to be more money that goes towards that kind of stuff. That's what I'm saying. Even if it's not like, even if it's not like a mandatory when you get to have a kid, even if it becomes like make it mandatory high school education. Yeah. Make early child education, child development and things like that. Like make that a core curriculum part for schools. Because like think about how high the, like the teen pregnancy rate is. I'm sure Florida is very high.

Yeah, Florida's is going to be off the charts. Something like 38% of high school graduates have a baby within the first year of graduating high school. So why are we not teaching them that? Like, why are we not updating what home economics is? I vote you for mayor. Yeah, you'd be a great mayor. I don't know about that. I don't know if I could handle it.

I don't think anyone wants a mayor taking drugs. Vote you for the warden. Yeah, I think they do. Look, guys, I'm still trying to figure out, like, the budget for the winter parade. So I'm going to lock myself in the office for three days. Take some LSD and I'll have it fixed by Monday. Everybody good? Hang tight.

Yeah, everybody hang tight. What's his name? Isn't he like trying to run for governor, the Morgan and Morgan lawyer? I'm sure. The guy, he's like the biggest weed advocate in the state, the Morgan and Morgan guy. He's in Orlando. You know him, right? Yeah, John Morgan.

Yeah, I mean, if you come to Florida, you've heard it. Yeah. Offices in Jacksonville, Orlando, Tampa. Yeah. If you've seen a city bus drove by, you know Morgan and Morgan. Yeah, homeless people know who Morgan are. Yeah. People with no internet.

No Morgan and Morgan. That's a fact. Homeless people have no idea who Adam Driver is, but Morgan and Morgan. Yeah. Remember Ask Gary? I wonder whatever happened to that guy. 1-800 Axeary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Call 1-800 Axe Gary. They used to sponsor the Ray Stadium. Used to be the Ask Gary Stadium. I remember they'd always be on, he'd always be on every time I listen to Bubba. It'd be on every ad break. There was like four Ask Gary commercials in a row, always on the radio. And that dude was bawling. He had like a mansion in the Bahamas.

They got run over by 411 pain and their jingles. I think my favorite jingle is the cars for kids. Just because it makes no sense. How does that one go? It's like, 1-877 cars for kids. Yeah, yeah. I haven't heard that one. Yeah, it's on the radio.

I've heard that recently for sure. Really? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have the radio. Yeah. I don't listen to radio anymore. So what's next for you? What's next on this journey with the van?

You're going to upgrade the van? You're going to buy a house? What are you going to do? No, so I started a GoFundMe. So my van, like I said, shitbox. And it's a shitbox. So it has leaks in the roof. You know, like I started, I got it converted and started driving and stuff.

And then found out there were leaks in the roof like where that fiberglass topper is and stuff. And I've tried patching it a couple of times and the leak always comes back. And so I was here in Tampa a couple of weeks ago. Remember when we had like, there was like four days straight of like torrential rain pour? Yep. So I was here in town at that point in time. And like I was getting ready to go to sleep. Like the rain had started.

I was almost asleep. And then I like my wet, my legs were wet. And I was like, what. Yeah. So in the middle of this rainstorm, I have to like go to Lowe's, get a tarp and a bunch of those little straps. And then like try and strap it down over the roof in the middle of this downpour. I get completely soaked. through the bone.

And then I get back in the van after the tarp is done and everything like that. And then I'm like trying to get out of the wet clothes, I soaked everything. I was like when a like golden retriever just like shakes itself on the carpet, you know. So everything's soaked. And I just got so pissed. I was like, that's it. I started to go fund me and, uh, and like just wrote it all out and posted it. Like more just out of frustration than anything.

And then like I woke up the next day to like $3,000 in donation. What? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So I set the goal as like 7,500 because I was like, look, like, I love this van, but like it's got all of these problems. Plus it's just, it's such a small van. You know what I mean?

Like I need something bigger and more reliable and, you know, all of this kind of stuff. And just the response has been amazing. So far, it's, we're over $5,000 towards our goal. Yeah. So we actually, it's gotten big enough now that actually I bought a van. I bought a 1990 Ford Oconnelline, like the Falcon camper van. So it's got like the big topper on it with the two like big bubble windows over the cab. Oh, hell yeah.

It's like 21 and a half feet long. Nice. It's got like a like a bathroom and like a sink. Yeah, full deal. The works. But I bought it from a guy I had like gone to high school with. It was like his grandpas and had been sitting since his grandpa passed away. But the engine wasn't seized up.

And so it just needed like tires and brakes. Yeah, exactly. So we bought it, had it towed over to a mechanic. So it's there now. And they're still going through everything and calculating everything up. So we're basically trying to raise the money to make sure that the van is going to be fully operational, functional, and everything like that. And give me enough to do some like updating and things for the inside and really make it like the van.

You know what I mean? Right, right. That's super cool. That's amazing. Because that was the thing. Like I converted this one basically just out of desperation. You know what I mean? Like this was the Hail Mary move.

And it was also more of like the experiment. Like I'm going to do this. Get out on the road and see if this is a lifestyle I can adapt to. Right, right. And then I got out on the fucking road. And like, hell yeah. Dude, there's just something in your spirit that like does.

That's super cool, man. So my first trip, I'd say I had a show in like St. Augustine. And then from that show, I left and started heading towards Austin. So I drove into like 3.30 in the morning, stopped on I-10, like right at the Florida State line, like just literally found like on I-10 like all of those big wooded areas in the middle of I-10. I found one of those like the dirt road pull-throughs that weren't like the official ones. And it had like a little clearing off to the side.

So I pulled in there and up into the clearing. And then that's where I slept like my first night on the road. And then leaving Austin going to Colorado. Springs, like, you just basically from Austin, you just go straight north through Texas, and then when you get up to the state line, you kind of like go into New Mexico and then up into Colorado. But all of that is in the mountains. So, and because of the way my schedule was all jacked up at the time, I was driving at night,

so I come across the state line and into the mountains as the sun's coming up over the mountains, you know, like into Colorado and driving up and down these mountains. Like, just like, just the sheer beauty of it. You know, like, I'm not like a pussy or anything, but I called my sister like in tears. I was like, it's fucking beautiful here, you know? Like, it just does something spiritually, like just being out and like seeing that and just that feeling of, like I said, that feeling of like momentum. Like I can feel we're doing something. Yeah.

You know, it just fills that like sense of adventure in your soul. You know what I mean? Yeah. For sure. That's super cool. Someone was showing me... Was it you who was showing me? Someone was showing me this sick Instagram page the other day

where people had these vans and they like decked him out and like teak with these badass floors, like these surf fans where you could sleep, you could eat. Was that you show me that? Yeah, yeah. What was that called? Boho vans.

Boho vans. Yeah, and that's kind of like where I think I'm going to go with this like when I start redoing the inside because there was spots where like one of the, like the pop top windows was leaking. So I know I'm going to have to tear that out and redo it. So I'm going to do like either like a nice wood or like a like a,

like a beadboard roof or something like that and give it kind of like a Florida like a beachy vibe you know like a like a beach cabin on wheels or something you know and I'm going to turn like I said the captain's chairs and stuff in the front I'll have a table so I can set up like an actual podcasting studio in the van. Aidan pull up some of those boho vans on the screen those are so sick because we we like when we were young we always used to just travel back and forth between here and the east coast to go surfing and our friend had a uh this what kind of van did Luke have um Astrovan. An astro van.

Yeah. And we would all just pile in the back and just sit on the floor and fucking... So that's basically what my van is. My van is the GMC version of the Astrovan. But it's the short, the short, like, passenger version, not the long cargo version. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Those are the boho vans. Yeah. Those things are so sick, dude. They're a lot of money, though. Can you throw up a, like, a Ford Falcon camper van? He's got to pull it off back onto his little screen and do it. Yeah. Just in case some porn

Is that what you have now? The Falcon Van? That's the new one that we bought. That's at the shop now. And how much was it again? 7,000? No, no, no. That's what it is?

No, no, no. I was going to get that thing is sick. No. Do a 90, 1990. Just leave it up there. Yeah, it's like a 70s. Oh, shit. See, the tan one?

To the right. The tan one. Yeah, tan blue. I basically, that one, yeah, basically exactly like that. Man, that's sick. That is dope. Yeah. And you sleep up top above the driver seat?

So there's a bed up there, but I'm probably going to convert that into all the audio stuff for the podcast. Like, that's where all my equipment will be. And then the back is like a dinette that folds down into a queen-sized bed. So I'll just keep the back as like the bed. That's sick. Yeah. That's super sick. Probably not very good on gas, though.

I mean, not great. That is the one downside. My van has been great on gas because it's like a V6. It's a manual. My current van's a manual. Is it really? And that fifth gear on that is like a cruising gear. So I get it on the interstate, put it in fifth gear.

And it's almost like turning it into a four cylinder, dude. Like we, yeah, haul ass. But that's like a V8 with like dual gas tanks. Yeah. You know. But like I said, when I remind, I remodel it, I'm going to take a lot of the weight out of it. So hopefully that helps with the gas.

Definitely will. You know. Have you ever had anyone to fuck with you when you're like sleeping over in like a weird parking lot? All the time. What's the weirdest thing that's happened to you? Um, so I, I sleep in like weird places,

you know, like I'll sleep like in a like, uh, Walmart parking lots, Coles parking lots, bass pro shops, rest areas, truck stops,

like I'm big fan of pilot truck stops. You know, especially now because like Walmarts and places like that are closed at night now. They're not 24 hours. hours anymore. Yeah. So if I have to take a shit. Oh, yeah.

So my current van does not have a bathroom. Yeah. They got showers, everything. Yeah. Well, and I shower. I got my Planet Fitness membership. So I normally I'll shower at the gym, you know. Are they 24 hours, Planet Fitness?

No. Okay. Not currently. So most, like during normal everything, they were. So, but yeah, so shower the Planet Fitness or a truck stop because truck stops are 24 hours. Yeah. And, yeah, man, but, like, I had, outside of Austin, it was like Rock Ridge, Texas. So it was, like, a suburb of Austin.

And I pulled into a Walmart parking lot there. Because I'd looked up, like, Austin, like, camping, you know, all that kind of stuff before. And it was like, yeah, Austin, like, allows, like, overnight camping at all of their Walmarts. But, like, I'd been there maybe an hour and I was just getting settled in. And, like, I get a knock on the window and it's a police car. And they're like, hey, yeah, like, this is. Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge doesn't allow overnight camping. Yeah, but they were cool about it.

Like, they gave me, like, a couple. They're like, there's a place, like, there's a Bass Pro Shop, like, two exits south, you know, and that's over that line so you can sleep. And I was like, okay, cool, you know. But then I found, like, another spot, like, the next night in Austin, it was, like, behind a gas station that was abandoned. I just, from the road, like, I was going by, and I just saw a bunch of, like, dirt roads going up these hills, and I was like, I wonder what's up there.

and it's just a bunch of like cleared land or like land next to like a big like water reservoir like system and so there were a bunch of like dirt roads through there and a bunch of camping spots where like people would camp and I was like this is perfect I just pulled into one of the clearings there

and I stayed there the next two nights you know and it was far enough like away from like the roads and up on this hill where like nobody could see me the sound didn't bother me I was basically by myself I ran like my generation with the big AC, all that kind of stuff. Like, it was great. That's amazing.

And then I was at a truck stop in Maryland, and I had somebody, okay, I was at a truck stop in Maryland, and I was, like, in the van, and I would, like, watch TV, like, Netflix and stuff on my iPad. So I was, like, watching something on my iPad, and I kept hearing this noise, and I was like, is that part of the show?

And then I pause it. And I was like, okay, it's not part of the show because I can still hear the noise. And it's like this, like, noise yeah and i was like what is that you know and so i have those like i said i have those um those insulator panels up over my windows yeah right so i like undo the velcro and like pull down the thing to like look outside the van and see where the noise is and there's a truck stop prostitute sucking dick two and a half feet away from my window that's great no way oh yeah

wow oh yeah just a trucker leaned up against his rig just getting his and they were that close they were parked literally right next to you yeah right next to me didn't even bother to get into the camper into the fucking truck or anything just right outside yep just because of the way like the parking lot was turned like there were like we're I was on the

like the back side of that parking lot there's like a wooded area back there and then there was like 17 trucks between them like the rest of the you know so nobody could see them back there and they must have assumed like I was inside at like the diner or something

Right. Or they were like, they could hear the iPad. And so they're like, oh, he's not going to notice. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Or he's just a trucker and he said didn't give a fuck. Yeah.

So there was that. There's another lot lizard. And then here in Tampa, I was in a CVS parking lot. Because, so typically when I stop for the night, like wherever I'm going to, like, wherever parking lot or wherever I end up, I'll get out when I first get there. And I, like on my Apple Watch, I'll basically just get away from the van so it doesn't fuck with my compass And I'll make sure like I get exact east so I know where the sun's coming up from

So that way I can find like a spot with that's gonna have the most shade throughout the day You know so I'm like you know I'll get under these trees because the sun's coming up from over here So these trees will block me during noon and that tree over there will like block me from the sunrise Wow, you're like a real hunter-gatherer A little bit yeah real frontiersman Um Um but uh so I'd done all that I was under the trees in the CBS parking lot because it was next to a Walmart and I just happened to see it and I was like this looks like the best spot based on sunrise all that kind of stuff so I get parked I get in the back of the van and I just done um that was the night that was the same night as the Ron White shows so because I just driven drove back to Tampa after the second show because I had a show here the next night so I did that's like a two hour drive two and a half hour drive so I was like I was so amped up was like I'm not going to sleep in the

the next three hours anyway. So just I hold ass back to Tampa. So, but I get there, I get settled into the van and I go back and like start watching my recording from my first set, right? And like, it was like three minutes in, I get like a big applause break. And I was so giddy and happy and stone that I was like talking out loud to myself, right? And so I'm literally like watching my video on my phone and I'm giggling out loud like a maniac.

And like I'm listening to it in my book. Bluetooth headset. So, like, I'm the only one that can hear the video, right? And so I yell out loud. I'm like, I'm a murderer, right? Talking about the video, right? And then I just hear from the ear that doesn't have an earbud in from outside of the van. I hear me too, bro. And I literally, I've panicked. And there was like, there was like a homeless guy, like, who had just been going by that saw the van, was just like, and then you just heard me yell, I'm a murderer. And he's like, me too. Do you want to do this? Like I guess he thought I was threatening him or something. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, no, he was just checking out my van. He's like, this is the coolest homeless setup I've ever seen. Like, just admiring my lawn basically as a homeless person, you know. Did you invite him in? No. I just heard basically, like, I was talking about my video. I was like, he's not watching a video.

He's serious. Yeah, he's serious. So I was like, I was like, seriously, man, like, I'm armed. I'm sure you guys would have had a great combo. Probably. I've had conversations with other homeless dudes all the time. So that's the weird part about living in the van, right? Like, I joke around about it, but I am technically homeless. Well, I'm houseless.

Like, I have shelter and an engine, and that's basically it, you know. But it's weird, like, other homeless people will still ask me for money. Right? So, like, I was doing, I went to an open mic in Orlando that's right downtown, and it's right, it's like one block over from the Amway Center. So when there's not Amway events We can park on that like on that street for the open mic So I was parked and I was early because I was coming into town from somewhere else So I was just early so I had my it was like I don't know like January February

So it was like nice and cool outside So I parked I had the windows rolled down and I was just sitting there like with my notebook Just like scribbling notes and writing out ideas and and this homeless guy comes up He's like hey man like you know starts talking to me he's like hey like do you have like You get like some money or something like you know like I'm homeless and I literally was like over my shoulders like bro you can see where I sleep like I'm also homeless

do you have some money? That's funny man I was like just assume if you can see where someone sleeps from the door of their home they don't have money for you yeah that's cool though with a van and interacting with all those weirdos on the road that probably gives you way more material you know what I mean way more interactions with weirdos

oh yeah way more opportunities for material well and that's the thing like being out on the road, not just being out on the road, but like being at mics, being with other comedians. Like, again, it's like that socialization that I didn't have for a long time. Yeah. And so I'm getting those skills back. And also it's like people I can talk to about pretty much anything because we all have this one thing in common.

So even if I'm talking, like going off on a tangent on something else, you know, like it's, everyone understands it's in the frame of comedy. So somebody's like, hey, do that as a bit. That's a good, that was a good bit. You know, even if it's something like, you know, they disagree. with intellectually or like, you know, things like that. But, yeah, man, just like being able to be around, like, creative people again and getting that socialization of, like, being out on the road and, like, realizing, like, oh,

I have that skill back of being able to talk to people again. So now, like, in gas stations, like, you know, talking to the cashier and talking, and I'm like, oh, I'm doing that again. I'm talking to strangers again. Mm-hmm. That kind of thing. So, like, doing comedy has helped me rebuild those skills that I had loved. because people don't realize like autism can be regressive.

Normally people are like, oh, like if you get, when you get diagnosed, they're like, oh, this is what you're diagnosed with. This is how you are. Like, this is how it'll always be. Yeah. But it can get better or worse. You know what I mean? Like, uh, and people, that's just not something people normally think about.

Like, um, and I realized I had regressed a lot in those like years where I'd started becoming more hermody, you know? Yeah. And so now we realize like, oh, I built these skills back up. and like just where my mental health is is just different now. Like I feel better. Like comedy has helped me feel better. And like, you know, how, how, how, how, what better way to guarantee it's not like,

or to know, like, it's not one of those hobbies that I'm going to get burnt out on and, and, you know, drop again. Right. Because it's, it's fulfilling something for me. You are. Yeah. And it literally, like, from the bottom up, it literally makes you better at every aspect of what you try to do.

Yeah. And enhances your way of thinking and looking at the world. So it's not only just like this thing that I love to do and not only is it become my profession, but it's also literally like an occupational therapy. Yeah. Like not people talk about comedy as therapy all the time, but like it's not so much. I mean, it is therapeutic to like speak your truth out loud. Sure.

But it's also just that therapy of like interacting with people, you know. Yeah. That's really cool, man. Sweet. Well, that was two hours, dude. Thank you again for coming on. Absolutely. That was fucking amazing.

Yeah, man. Thanks for coming. Tell the listeners and everybody where the, they can follow you and find all your work online. Yeah, absolutely. A.J. Wilkerson Comedy on Instagram, Facebook, and then Captain Autism on TikTok and Twitter. On Twitter, there's an underscore at the end.

And I think on TikTok, there's an underscore in the middle between Captain and Autism. Sweet. Yeah. Because apparently there's another one of us out there. There's another one? Yeah. Unlike Highlander, there can be more than one. So, yeah.

So there's another one out there. So I got the underscores. But yeah, Captain Autism, A.J. Wilkerson. Sweet. Yeah, appreciate it so much, guys. Thanks for coming. Thanks again, bro. Absolutely.