Danny Jones Podcast - #120 - Giving Birth in Prison Sucks | Jessica Kent

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

At 23 years old, Jessica Kent was incarcerated on drug and gun-related charges in Arkansas. Shortly after her arrest, Jessica discovered she was pregnant. Though she was still struggling with withdrawals, she was given very little support in prison. When she gave birth in prison at ago 24, the process was barbaric as she was chained to the bed and not allowed to get up, even to use the bathroom for 48 hours afterwards.  Today she uses her YouTube channel to talk about addiction, PTSD, and other issues she believes in. Follow Jessica here: https://youtube.com/JessicaKent help us make more money: https://bit.ly/koncretepatreon sponsors  https://liquiddeath.com -  Use code KONCRETE at checkout to get a free koozie 2-pack with a 12-pack purchase.   danny  https://www.instagram.com/jonesdanny https://twitter.com/jonesdanny Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, world. At 23 years old, Jessica Kent was incarcerated on drug and gun-related charges in Arkansas. Shortly after her arrest, Jessica discovered she was pregnant. Although she was still struggling with withdraws, she was given very little support in prison. When she gave birth in prison at age 24, the process was barbaric as she was chained to the bed and not allowed to get up even to use the bathroom for 48 hours afterwards. Today, Jessica uses her YouTube channel to talk about PTSD, addiction, and other issues that she'd be. leaves in. Without further ado, please enjoy this episode with Jessica Kent. All right. Thank you, Jessica Kent for doing this. Welcome. You have a sweet YouTube channel. It's mediocre at best,

but I appreciate the enthusiasm. Yeah, you have lots of cool videos with lots of a wide, a wide variety of topics, very interesting topics. It gets crazy over there. But before we start, I just want to thank you for your patience with me because this is like an episode that was supposed to happen like six months ago and it didn't. So you've been very patient with me and my crazy. crazy schedule. Oh yeah, no worries, no worries at all. Thanks for being here. How did you get started on the whole YouTube journey that you've been on? How did you, after you got out of prison, what made you want to start a YouTube channel? Yeah, I never thought I would talk about my time in prison. It was not something that I even wanted my own

family to know about because it was so rough and I'm sure we'll get into that. But I actually found this gig where I was talking to reentry, a reentry club. A reentry club. class in prison. And I was filming these little videos on my phone, like three, four minute videos. And it was like, yeah, man, you can get out of prison and not go back. Like, you can do it. And they were really short, like, motivational type videos. Well, I got fired from that, volunteer job because a new reentry teacher came in and they're like, Nashi 2 Street. We don't like her. We're not going to play these videos in prison. So I was like, well, that fucking sucks. I have so much more to say. And then I decided I was going to film seven videos on my phone sitting on the floor in my

living room and they were going to be called heroin my road to recovery. And if people find them cool, if they don't, whatever, I'm going to record a seven video series. That was three years ago. Now I have like a thousand videos all across the internet and it kind of just took off. And I realized how the fuck can you film your whole story in seven videos? That makes no sense. And people came in and they were really supportive and really kind, and it just made me continue to share my story. It's so wild, like, so many people that have stories similar to yours that have spent a lot of time in prison or, like, you know, fucked up their lives somehow. They end up, you know, they end up finding stuff like this, like an outlet on the internet where they gain tons and tons of momentum and followers and stuff like that. And there's a huge following, like, in true crime in general, the true crime genre is, like, bigger than it's ever been, I feel like right now.

Yeah, which is amazing. And it's a true testament to people can be hustlers in the street and doing shit the wrong way. And if they take that same energy and that same drive and focus to something positive, they're going to see success in that. So there are so many hustlers in prison that could be entrepreneurs if they, you know, devote that time to that. So when you see someone come out of prison and they're successful doing whatever it is, any kind of business that should be celebrated. Right. So what was, how much time did you do in prison first? of all? So I've served. I was always a short timer, just under five years or so. Just under five years. It's a long time. Yeah. And how old were you when you ended up going to prison and like what's the story? How did you land? How did you get in trouble? Yeah. So birth, I'm just kidding. I was always in trouble from the age of like 13 is when I started to get in trouble and started to get arrested and I would get brought home drunk for underage drinking and fights and that kind of started this whole criminal life, I guess. So I got put on Pins probation that was through the school

because I was getting in fights and drinking and just I wasn't showing up for school and I was just a freaking wreck a lot different than other 13 year olds that are just getting in like tiny little trouble. This was like a dramatic scene. So Pins probation turned into youth probation. and then that turned into adult probation, and then I caught my first felony at 17. At 17, you caught your first felony. And that was criminal sales of a controlled substance. And the person that I sold these pills to overdosed,

and he didn't die. And you would think in that moment that would scare me, as it should, you know, like this is, you're really lucky this person has his life, and what you're doing is dangerous, and you need to get out of that world. It reinforced everything that I wanted to be. I wanted to be a drug dealer and I didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything besides money in myself and my own addiction at the time. And instead of being scared at the idea of prison or someone getting hurt because of me, I threatened this kid's life and he had to get a restraining order against me because I was like, you fucking snitched on me.

And now I'm getting locked up over this. So I was just a really angry, dysfunctional, drug-addicted kid that did not care about anything, not consequences, not prison, not my own death. It was just a really weird thing. Like, I'm 32 and I'm a mother now, right? So to look back on the teenager that I was, I don't even know who that is. It seems like it was a lifetime ago or not even really me. So that first felony kind of set in motion a whole laundry list of stories.

stories and a whole laundry list of things. I got one and a third to three. Didn't think it was a big deal. You got what? One in a third to three. What does that mean? In New York, it means you have to serve a year up to three. So you'll serve one and then the rest on parole. And I was violating my terms, conditions of probation and then parole all the way through. I was getting violated for absconding parole, which means going on the run or failing drug screens or getting into fight. or just living with a felon that you can't live with parolees, can't live together. So I was constantly breaking the rules, and it was just kind of a shit show to the point where parole had to be like, we're maxing you out because you're fucking absconding.

What I would do is I knew I was going to fail a drug test. So I'd run, and I'd travel the country with this magazine group of people. Have you ever seen American Honey? No. No. Oh, my God. Maybe. Shail above.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see that. So he's selling magazines door to door all across the country. That's what I did to go on the run from parole. And they just had enough of me. So I maxed out. So I served the rest of my time. No parole.

So at like 19, I was like, oh, man, I'm not on parole. I can do whatever I want to do. No. I ended up selling a lot of heroin in upstate New York. And that time was really dark. I was really addicted to heroin getting in massive amounts of debt because I was using heroin and I was supplying heroin to my friends, my boyfriend. I was living this weird lifestyle where I thought, like a really fast lifestyle. I was paying my bills, my parents' bills, my mom's

bills, my friends' bills, and traveling and partying, and I was racking up thousands of dollars worth of debt. And it kind of came crashing down February of 2011. My boyfriend robbed a store that I worked at. And I was thousands of dollars in debt and my dealer caught on to it. I was arrested for conspiracy to commit grand larceny or no, I'm sorry, conspiracy to commit armed robbery, grand larceny, false written statement, false police report because I lied to the cops. And then I went on the run again. So I'm like, well, I didn't rob a fucking store. So I went on the run from a drug dealer that I owed thousands of dollars to. And I went on the run from New York State again. And I detoxed in a hotel in North Norfolk, Virginia.

And I thought, just get a lawyer. You're going to be fine. Not a big deal at all. Just get a lawyer. That way you don't have the detox in jail. And you're going to fight this case. You're fucking innocent. Turns out when you're on the run, you have to do illegal shit to survive.

So long story short, I find my way to Arkansas. And I kind of transitioned into being a heroin dealer into a meth dealer. And I got... How was that transition? How do you do that? Terrible. I knew absolutely nothing about meth. I knew the world of heroin and pills and weed and I had all that down.

But meth is a different game. It's a different world. Everyone's trying to get over on you. Everyone's trying to rip you off. And it's just this very strange underworld of people that you think they're your friends, but they're constantly trying to steal your shit and then help you look for it. It's fucking K. ass. They're trying to sell you a TV and like stolen watches and like an army knife or some

shit. So it was just a crazy fucked up world. When you talk about heroin, are you talking about oxies and stuff and rocksies and all that kind of stuff? Sure. Okay. Kind of. But I'm talking about heroin. Right. But that stuff is basically heroin, right? Okay. Yeah. Same effect. Or hillbilly heroin. That's what they call it. Yeah. Who calls it that? I don't know. People in Florida. People in Florida. Florida should be a Netflix series. Yeah. It is. What's a YouTube series? Should be on that. Yeah, heroin was a different lifestyle. You know, people don't want to be sick from heroin,

so they'll do anything to bring you cash. Meth is like a different thing, and I couldn't keep up. I wanted my reputation, you know, to kind of follow me wherever I went. Like, oh, I'm good for this. My product is good. But I couldn't keep up with meth heads that were, and I was a meth head too, but I couldn't keep up with people on meth that were constantly saying,

your shit is cut and I'll sell you this TV. So it was just a complete mess and I was also at the time heavily addicted to meth because I realized you're not going to get sick really when you come down off meth. You're going to sleep and you're going to eat. Well, my DOC was heroin. So when I figured that on a meth, it was like, oh man, I'm not going to throw up and have explosive diarrhea, TMI, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be violently sick. And I really liked that. But I got down to like 85 pounds. And I'm already really small. So you can imagine I was like a napkin flying out a car windows. I was small. Like I was tiny. But October of 2011, I got another three felonies. On top of the felonies that I have now out of New York. So it was very overwhelming for me,

but my felonies were possession of, with intent to deliver almost three ounces of meth, simultaneous possession of drugs in a firearm and delivery of meth in the South they were not fucking around Jesus and how old were you doing all this geez at that time

23 so young yeah but that's I was 23 that's 10 years in that world so to me like saying that I was 23 yeah I was really young

but at that time I had lived 10 different lives by the time I was 23. So I had those felonies in Arkansas, so I'm going back. But I also have felonies out in New York, so I had no idea how much time I was going to get. I didn't know if it was going to be 20 years, like they first said when I was arrested. And in Arkansas, 20 years doesn't really mean 20 years, but that was a learning curve. Plus, I have all these felonies in New York, so I really didn't think that I would even be sitting

here right now. I didn't think I'd be out of prison until I was like 40 at the time. Wow. It was really scary. So as I was trying to figure out what New York is going to do, what Arkansas is going to do, trying to navigate the prison system down there and what the laws even really mean, I found out that I was also pregnant. And like, I can go to prison.

I can do the time. I fucking deserve it. I know I do. And, but the variable of pregnancy, how the fuck do you go to prison pregnant? I had no idea. I had no concept for what that looked like or what that would mean. for my life or now my unborn child. I didn't know if she was going to be safe.

I didn't know if I was drinking enough water or getting nutrition for her. It was a lot. Plus, I'm coming down off of drugs. I don't know if she's healthy. I don't even know if I'm healthy. So at first, like the first few weeks in jail in Arkansas, I was terrified. For the first time in my life, it caught my attention. Like, this isn't about you anymore.

You have to stop being a selfish kid running and gunning and thinking that you're a thug. And now you have to take responsibility for your shit. And that was a mountain. So once you ran down south from New York and you started getting into meth and all that, how did you eventually get arrested and sentenced? Those are two different things. I mean, well, arrested. Okay.

So I was going to leave Arkansas many times. And I had friends that would get me a bus ticket so I could leave. I would call them up in a moment of clarity and say, I'm really fucked up. I'm really sick. I need treatment. I need your help. And I would have friends to buy me bus tickets that they, I mean, they would do that in a heartbeat.

And I really appreciate that looking back because they tried, you know, and someone was there trying. But I had a bus ticket. And at 4.30 in the morning, downtown Fort Smith, Arkansas, October 20th of 2011, I decide that instead of sitting in this hotel waiting for the bus the next morning, I'm going to go to the gas station and get food. Why the fuck? I have no idea. Nothing good happens at 4 a.m. in the South. No one is out. You're not in Times Square.

There is no one on the roads. Just you tweakers and cops, that's it. I'm the tweaker, and there was a cop across the street from the gas station. And we pulled into this gas station, and I saw him. And I thought, fuck, leave everything here. Throw it away. Don't drive away from this gas station with drugs and guns. Like, you're going back.

And the person that I was with, I was trying to let him know, like, we're about to get arrested. Like, we're at least about to get pulled over. make sure you ditch everything. And there's this thing in the meth world where everyone's like, you're paranoid. It's not even that bad. Like you're fine, relax, you're too high, you've been up for too many days. And it's not paranoia if they're really fucking coming for you. So try to convince someone that is also high on meth that you're about to be arrested.

You can't because when you get high on meth, people will look out the curtains and they think the cops are coming for them. So you cannot tell someone this is really going to happen. They don't believe you. they think that everything is a scam, everything is a game. So he thought I was going to try to take whatever stuff he had, right? Because if you leave it at the gas station, maybe I have planned for someone to go in and get it. There's no reasoning with this person at all. So I get back in the car and I'm like, okay, I'm going to fucking prove it to you.

Let's go to prison today. Like, instead of just not getting in that car and walking away, I just wanted to prove a point. So we pulled out of the gas station and sure enough, within two minutes, cop gets behind us and hits the lights. now I am really high, like really fucked up. On meth. And I'm texting a million miles an hour to everyone I know, jail, force myth, jail for Smith, jail for Smith, because that way they're going to know, I've got arrested and I'm in Forth Smith.

Well, sober people didn't know what that meant. They're like, why did just text me at 430 jail for Smith? What the fuck does this mean? I'm texting people that I sell to. I'm texting my family. I'm texting my friends in different states so they know where I am. Half of them had no fucking idea what that text meant. But I'm like, someone's going to know where I'm at.

I'm going to get Bond. Well, when the cop came to the window, he immediately opened my door. And he immediately took me out of the car. And I'm like, this is not a routine traffic stop. This is very different. And within five minutes, DTF was on scene, the Drug Task Force. And that looks like unmarked cars and cops in regular street clothes in like a badge with like around their neck or whatever.

And I'm looking around and I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, usually when I go to jail, it's just a second cop car pulls up and maybe a drug dog. This looks dramatic, you know? So I immediately was like running through my mind of this has been an investigation and they know who the fuck we are. And I was, I was scared, but I was also like a really angry, high little shit of a person. So, you know, he arrest me almost immediately. They search the car. They find two ounces of meth and a gun.

And I get sent to jail. where I'm trying to come down and trying to get through the intake process, which is a really long day. And DTF came in within a few hours to interview me. And I told to interview me, and I told them to go fuck themselves and take me back to my cell. And they're like, are you kidding me right now? Like, we have pictures of you from inside your own car.

Here's a picture of you selling a big bag of meth. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck, taking me back to myself. I go back to my cell and I think the next day is when a new charge slid under my door. on this piece of paper, like a CEO had brought it in, and it was delivery of meth. So now, you know, I had the two charges when I was arrested, and then delivery of meth came a little bit later. And the DTF or the Drug Task Force tried to interview me probably three or four more times before I finally took a plea six months later. And every single time, I made sure to tell them, I'm not fucking helping you get meth off the street. That's not my job. You're

a crime stopper, figure it the fuck out. And the whole time, everyone around me was like, Jess, everyone snitches in Arkansas. There are three kinds of people in Arkansas, those that told, those that wish they told, and those that wish they had somebody to tell on. Which one are you? And I'm like, I'm a lost New Yorker. Like, what the fuck? You don't snitch where I'm from.

And I just didn't understand. I really didn't. Until I did. Until my emotional discovery came back and there was strangers in it. People snitched on me that I had never met before. So it just kind of needs sense. Wow. Same thing for everyone that I knew.

strangers will snitch on you to get out of that arrest because they just want to go back out on the street and use meth. And that's the meth world. You know, there's absolutely no loyalty and it's just a really fucked up place to be. I don't think it's only in Arkansas. From the amount of people we've had on here, it's everybody snitches on exactly what you said. That goes, that's the way it goes everywhere. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's fucked up.

I'm a firm believer and do your own time. If you're running and gunning and you're in that lifestyle and you get arrested and just to get out of trouble, you try to tell on someone else, fuck you. That's so funny. Just do your own time. We had this guy on here last week and he was talking about how he was in prison for like 20 years and he met

some old guy who ran a Ponzi scheme just randomly like on his and like 10 years in he met this old guy and they'd walk the yard together and he said this guy was just like telling him a story about all this stuff and where he has this money buried or whatever and he asked him he's like, can I trust you to tell you this?

And he's like probably not and he's like fuck it and he told him and then he immediately went to the feds and told them and he got like, he got like five years knocked off his sentence. Maybe seven or something. And the guy that he told on only got like six months added to a sentence. Man. I mean, for what, bro?

Five years. You got five years for it. Would you do it for five years? To get five years knocked off my sentence? Would you tell on some old guy who ran a Ponzi scheme to get five years of freedom? No. Really? No.

Because you have to think about it. Yeah, he got five years knocked off. of a sentence, but now every single person on that compound knows you're a snitch. Right. There's not a second that I'm going to live in that light. It's dangerous. Yeah. You know, so there's not a fucking chance in hell.

Yeah. It depends on the kind of correctional facility you're in, right? If you're in there with a bunch of people that are dangerous or you're in there, like, in a low level one with a bunch of like blue collar criminals, then... Everyone can be dangerous. Yeah. On any day. Emotions run really high in prison.

They're not, you know, we're not drinking enough water. We're not getting enough sleep. We're not getting enough nutrition. we're away from our family, emotions run really fucking high. I've seen people get beat up over a 50 cent pizza sauce packet. Like, people are not playing. So anyone can be dangerous at any moment in time, no matter what level you're at of prison. But yeah, man, I'm not snitching.

Yeah. What kind of, you were in like a state prison? What kind of, where were you? So most women do time in maximum security prisons. Okay. So I was maximum security. And that might seem weird, right? Like my selling in the last place that I was at.

had capital murder because there's not a lot of facilities for women. So men will get transferred around a lot, you know. Low-level crimes will be kind of sectioned off with low-level crimes, and there's all of these yards that you can go on. It's different for women. So men will go, like, through diagnostic, and then they'll go finally to their home jail. The feds will move you all around. It's just very different for women.

We had a couple female ex-cons on here. about a year ago and they were talking about how they were in a low, low security prison camp. And they were saying that they could basically manipulate the guards however they wanted. Like they would have the guards basically like wrapped around their fingers because they would just, you know, these guys, these guys who were prison guards were kind of like losers. And they were just like desperate for any kind of attention from a female. So these girls would just like play them as far as they could take it as far as they possibly could to get. whatever they wanted to the point where these these prison guards would bring them like McDonald's that's not what it was like when you were there i cannot believe it that is shocking and devastating

um hey one second hey michael can you hit the power button on the AC behind the bookshelf real quick just turned off sorry go ahead so yeah that happens it happens you can get anything that you want in prison it doesn't matter if you're a male or a female you can get anything you want if you're good at manipulating guards. If you have money, you can get what you want. You can do drugs in prison. You can drink alcohol in prison. You can get McDonald's and free world food. It's not easy. It takes time. You know, it takes time to kind of warm up a guard or manipulate a guard into doing those things for you. But it happens every single day. Yeah. Now, so you got arrested. You went to jail. And then how long did it take for you to get sentenced or get like a plea, a plea deal? How did that

process go. So the last time, New York is quick. Arkansas is kind of slow. They gave me a plea within I want to say like a few weeks, a month or so, and it was 20 years. And I said, fuck you. No, I'm not signing a 20 year plea. And then they came back and said probably two more months later. They said, what was it? Ten years. And I was so happy because we were negotiating. You went. from 20 to 10. That's amazing. Still no. But great, we're negotiating. And I had a public defender because when you're a drug dealer, all your assets are seized, all your money is taken, car, anything that you own is taken because they just assume that you have gotten all of that from selling drugs. So I didn't have a good lawyer. And I was being told by my public defender,

we're going to go to trial and you're going to fucking lose. Like, please listen to me and take this 10-year plea. 10 years is really, you'll do 50% of your time, which is five years. And now I'm like really pregnant at that moment. Really? I found out I was pregnant like three weeks into this arrest. And I didn't know how to handle that or what to do. Three weeks after you're already in jail? Yeah. Holy shit. They didn't, they didn't test me for my pregnancy when I came through intake in this jail, which is really bizarre because a lot of places do that. Just to make sure that no one's getting pregnant while they're there, right? So I didn't even think about it because I was high and it just didn't cross my mind in the intake process. But I found out I was pregnant because another girl

put in a sick call for me because I was really sick after I had been there for a few weeks and it was something beyond coming down off drugs. So yeah, I found out I was pregnant and these pleas, like I can't sign a 20-year plea because I'm never going to get out for this kid. I can't sign a 10-year plea because I'm never going to get out for this kid. If I was not pregnant and they said 10, but 50% of your time, I would have signed it in a heartbeat to get out of county jail. County jail is horrible. I can do five years. But I just knew that I had to fight as hard as I possibly could so that I could get out for this baby without snitching because at the time, like right before this arrest, I sold meth for the cartel.

And I just wasn't going to go. So six months into my stay, I got a five-year plea. And when I tell you I sign that piece of paper so fast, I had never signed paper faster. I'm like, give it to me. So I got five years, 15, suspended, 40 years exposure. That's just a bunch of noise to say that if I ever commit another felony in the state of Arkansas, I am so fucked. But I'm retired now, so it's fine. It's working out.

I am currently off parole, but I am still serving suspended sentence time. then my 40 years exposure kicks in, which is just, again, noise for don't commit another felony. So explain to me what that was like when you first found out you were pregnant in prison, like that you have to go to like a clinic and they, like, how does that go with women who get pregnant or who are pregnant when they get incarcerated? Every facility is different. So I can't speak for what it's like to be pregnant in other places. I can just speak on my experience in Arkansas.

law. So when I found out, I was in complete denial because I didn't know how to handle it. I'm coming off drugs. I'm looking at 20 years. I can't, I can't handle it. So I remember telling the nurse, like, you're, you got the wrong one. You mixed up my stuff with someone else. There's no way. No way I'm pregnant. And she's like, okay, crazy. You can go back to your cell now. Like, weird. And this was just, like mentally for me, it was, it was too much to handle. So for my first two months in, I probably just didn't even think about it. Logistically, the jail had to come to the realization that I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here for a long time.

So they had to take me to the free clinic in the street. So I would be cuffed up, chained up, and taken into the free world in orange and chains to doctor's appointments. Wow. So embarrassing. And they wouldn't like bring me through the back door? No, no. We're walking through the front door. And, like, they'd hear the chains.

Everyone would turn and look. I had one girl taking pictures of me one time. And I'm like, I swear to God, if I was not in these handcuffs, I would beat the fuck out of you. Like, I was so embarrassed and so mad. And that's just how they handled it at that facility. You'd, like, sit in the lobby and shit with all the other people. Wow. With two guards on my side.

Like, I, like, I'm a serial killer or something. And it was so embarrassing. And, like, I think every moment throughout my incarceration this last time was so embarrassing. and so hard, like mentally draining, physically exhausting. It was so traumatic and difficult for me that, like, it just, it changed everything for me. It changed how I saw myself, how I looked at the world, how I looked at the street life that I had meditated on for so long. Like, I was 12 and 13 saying, like, I'll go to prison one day, but I'll just handle it. Like, that makes no fucking sense.

So finally, I get my plea and I get transferred out of county and sent to prison, right? well I have to give birth at some point so that has to happen at what point do you like accept the fact that you're pregnant and do you have like some sort of like mind like a change in your way of thinking to where like you want to actually like take care of the baby and like and think about like being a mom and then getting at a prison what are you going to do when you get out what's it going to be like when you give birth and then you get separated like did you start to like think about this kind of stuff and did that start kind of like change your way of thinking at all. Yeah, like in labor, I thought maybe I am having a baby. I was, I was just in

such denial for so long and I didn't know what to do or how to handle it, right? So when I got to prison, they transferred me out of the max into a medium, and that will make sense in a second. I had met other girls at the time that were also pregnant. And, you know, I would watch them, because we're all at different stages of our pregnancy, I'd watch them go have their babies and then come back to the unit and show pictures and then see their babies on like a Saturday because these babies went with family members. Right. And I'm like, oh, this chick did it. I can fucking handle this. I'm tough. I got this. I can do it. I had nine months to prepare for what was about to happen. And I just thought, you know, if I'm seeing these women do it and I've had nine months to mentally prepare for having

my baby and then coming back to prison, I can do this. I have gone through so much shit. I can handle this. well it was like four o'clock in the morning which is like my time I guess for everything happening and I went into labor and I was just in complete denial that I was in labor I didn't want to tell the guards I was in labor because I never talked to the guards and I was just really scared well they made me walk down to the infirmary which was very difficult in active labor and I get to the infirmary and I thought they're going to help you now because you're at the infirmary like which is a really long walk prison has long hallways you have to be buzzed through every single door. They have controlled movement. You can't just like walk freely. It's not like oranges the new

black. So it takes time to get to where you're going. And I thought, oh man, just get to the infirmary and they're going to help you out. I got there by like 4.30, maybe 5 o'clock. And the CEO or like the nurse says to me, just sit down here and when shift change comes, then we'll take you to the hospital. And I'm like shift change. That's at like 730. And they have to do count on the compound. And corrections officers, no offense, if you are one in your listening can't count right so they fuck it up every single time don't worry you've offended plenty of cool um i'm sorry but count gets fucked up every single day all day long they just they cannot count and they misplace inmates which means like i'm in the infirmary they're gonna fuck it up because

i'm supposed to be on the unit so i just know that that's going to take forever i had to sit there in active labor by myself in a wheelchair with like a puppy pad underneath me just by myself watching the clock as you were in labor in active labor first time mom i have no idea what's going to happen been and no one took it seriously because my water didn't break but I don't know what that means like I've never had a fucking baby before so I'm like I don't know if I should be at the hospital right now I don't know what's happening and all I could think in that moment and this is probably the first time in my life I've ever thought this is I just wish my mom was here I just wish my mom was here so finally we go to the hospital and the the nurses are like swishing around me and they're talking to the

COs and they're not really talking to me and I feel so degraded and embarrassed that I'm here as an inmate. Plus I'm also in extreme pain and they asked me if I wanted an epidural, but they asked me through the guards if I could have one. And I'm like, this is a medical decision. You're going to ask a CO if I can have an epidural. They're fucking babysitters. They're not medical professionals. It was just a really bizarre experience for me. So I am trying to like mentally prepare for having a baby today. Like we are having a baby today by myself with no one just COs on my shoulder. My family's not here. I don't know where my baby's going to go.

I don't know how to have a baby. Like it's so much. Are you in any communication with your family at all? Zero at this point. Because once you leave the prison and you're out, you can't make a phone call. You can't let them know that you're outside of the facility. It's a security risk. But how earlier have you spoken with them prior to going into labor?

That's a good question. I think I had wrote my mom a letter. maybe that month. I would talk to my mom as much as I could. Prison phone calls are really expensive. So I couldn't call my mom that often, but we would write pretty regularly a couple of times a month. I wasn't exactly even sure of my due date. We were just kind of guessing. So she didn't know I was having a baby. She did, but she didn't. So Micah was born at three. And I, to prepare for this, I thought, when she comes out, they're going to take her over here. And I'm just going to look over here and if I don't look at her maybe I'll be okay like then I won't love her and as

weird as that sounds and as much as people have judged me for saying that in the past you have to understand I spent nine months preparing to give birth to a child I wasn't going to have and I didn't know what to do so I had to put these walls up or these barriers up in my own mind for a second because it was so heavy and so hard for me to handle so the CEO at the time shift change came an awful one came in but the CEO that was with me during this process was actually really nice to me. And she saw what I was doing. And she said, girl.

Oh, it was a female. That's nice. It was a female and a male. The dude left. He's like, I think we're good here. I'm going to step outside. And I'm like, thank you, bro. Like, thank you.

But she sees what I'm doing. She sees that I'm not looking at this baby. And she says, girl, you better look at that baby. And I did. And she was the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. And they brought her over to me. And I held her. And you asked a minute ago, if I had thought throughout my pregnancy that I was going to be

different, no. not until I saw my daughter. When I saw her, everything changed. Everything changed. And people talk about mama bear instincts, but they don't say, like, you will kill for this little baby that you met five seconds ago. And it's so fierce and it's so strong.

So during my pregnancy, I was trying to protect this baby. I was trying to make sure I was eating enough and drinking enough water and staying active and healthy the best that I could in prison. I had to fight for prenatal vitamins at one point, and I was just desperate to keep this baby inside of me healthy, but I didn't think beyond that.

So now when I'm holding her on her birthday, I thought, oh my God, I have to protect her at all cost. I have to be there for her, which is a really traumatizing thing because two days later, I had to go back to prison. And I'm grateful for the two days that I had. They let you have two days with the baby. I was only supposed to have 24 hours.

So the doctor came in, And for whatever reason, she granted me another 24 hours. And I was so grateful because you only get 48 hours in the hospital if you're an inmate if it's a C-section. And I didn't have a C-section. So I was so grateful. I still, to this day, don't know why she gave me the extra day, but I'll take it. And I was trying to, like, prepare during those two days for, like, leaving. I just wanted time to stand still so I could stay with her.

And unfortunately, the COs that were with me, they were feeling. refused me getting up and going to the bathroom, getting up and walking around. They refused these requests. So my recovery was really hard. But at the time in the hospital, I didn't know. Wait, after you had the baby, they refused you going to the bathroom? They didn't want to unchain me that often. Jesus Christ. So because I was so embarrassed, I didn't push and I didn't fight. I have a baby in my arms. If it was just me and I was just a regular inmate in a hospital, bitch, unchained me. I have to go to the bathroom. Like, I was. I was. I don't know. I was. I don't I would have lost my mind, but I was so scared of like something happening to my baby that I kind of just let them treat me however they wanted because they're intimidating.

And every aspect to my attitude, my personality completely changed when I saw this baby. And I was really afraid of the guards that were in there because they were shitty to me. And what's even more disgusting is that the COs that were with me were mostly female, the two days that I was there. They were women. they were women and denying me bathroom privileges and the doctor came in and said hey she has to get up and walk around

so that her recovery is better and the CEO straight up said no it's a security risk so being left chained to a bed for two days after you give birth just because you're an inmate is the most fucked up thing that we could ever do in this country

to women in prison it's fucked up and I didn't could they possibly be worried about like you're in a gown I'm not only in a gown but I had an opportunity I had a whole ass baby.

Like, not, I don't want to, like, gross y'all out, but, like, you can't run after you have a baby. Like, you're sore. Everything hurts. And even if you have a, that's crazy, if you have a C-section, they only give you two days. Like, it takes you minimum two days to recover from a C-section if you're not in prison or whatever.

Like, you have to stay there for two days mandatory. Then after that, you can't even walk for a couple days after that. I can't imagine how hard it would have been if I had a C-section. Like, women that have had C-sections are fucking warriors. I can't imagine how painful that must have been. But yeah, I now have to go back to prison, right? Like, it's coming. Yeah.

So it was, I don't know, one or two in the afternoon on day two, and the guards came in, and they're getting me ready, and a case where it comes in and takes my picture, and they let me know that your daughter's going to go into foster care, and they're saying things, but I'm not really paying much attention because, whatever, I have to look at this baby and stare at her. I have to hold her and stare at her and talk to her, tell her I'll be back for you and I am almost losing it. Finally a guard comes in and she is at the,

she's at my back. So she's at the door and my back is to her and Micah is now in this little bassinet. And she said, Kent, it's time to go. And I'm holding onto the bassinet and I said no. You can't tell us, you know, no. This pause there. It's a bad idea. But she said, don't make this harder than it has to be. And I was just, I was so like, I will kill you over this baby, right? Like, I have to protect her. I can't leave her. And the COs come at me from behind and they grab me by the shoulders and they grab me and throw me into this wheelchair and immediately they're working together to shackle me up and chain me to this fucking wheelchair. And as fast as they get me down in, the wheelchair, they fly me out of this hospital room. And we're now flying down this corridor to get

me out of this hospital so that I don't get violent and cause a scene, I guess. And all I can think about is, but what about this baby? Like, what about my baby? She's alone in this room. Like, what is going to happen? And I completely lost my mind. They left the baby alone in the room in the bassinet. Because a nurse is going to come in and foster care is going to come in and take custody of her. But all I can think about is the room is now empty, you know, and that baby is by herself. And I was like, tears were just pouring out of my face. And I was shaking. like violently shaking and scared and it was just awful people are staring at me as we're wishing past people and they throw me into the van outside and they close the door and then they

get in the van and we're driving away right and then the conversations of these officers were like completely fucking normal you know like oh what are we going to do for lunch and I'm like what do for lunch are you fucking kidding me they're talking like it's a regular day at work and this is single-handedly the most traumatizing experience I've ever gone through and we go back to the prison and we go into the sally port and the ceos are trying to talk to me and ask me questions but i can't even really hear them and i can't speak and i didn't think about why but the next moment that i kind of came out of that i guess i realized that i was in the infirmary i didn't know how long i had been there but i knew that i wasn't in gp and i wasn't on my unit

so i didn't i didn't know then but i know now that i have PTSD and the reason why I don't remember what they said to me and the reason why there's huge gaps like days missing after I get back to the prison is because it was so traumatic for me that my brain was just trying to protect me from the trauma that I was experiencing. So there are days missing after Micah was born where I just don't really know what happened. Maybe I slept the whole time.

I don't know, but I wish I knew what the guard said when I came back. I wish I knew what was going on, but I have no fucking idea. And I laid there for probably a week or two. And finally, I woke up one morning and I thought, you cannot be there for her if you're going to sit in this bed. Get up. Like, what the fuck are you doing here? Why are you in the infirmary still? Go back to the unit.

And I asked the nurse, like, hey, can I go back to my unit? Do I have to stay here? And she goes, oh, well, how are you feeling? I'm like, I feel fine. I'm okay. I kind of want to go back to the unit. And she said, yeah, I'll get the paperwork now. If you think you're ready to go back, then you can go back.

which is bizarre to look back on because I didn't have a psychological evaluation done then. I didn't have any medical or mental health professionals coming in and talking to me that I remember. Maybe they did. I don't remember it. I just went back to my unit and I signed up for every class I could take. I signed up for thinking errors and parenting classes and just anything I could think of to make it look good for my jacket so that I could try to get out early. and I didn't get a picture of my daughter until she was probably two or three months old. I didn't get visitation with her. I didn't talk to her on the phone.

I didn't know where she was. I don't know who had her. And the first time that I finally saw her again, she was six months old and it was at a family court hearing. And that was really hard. The judge granted me like 15 minutes in chambers with her and I got to hold her for 15 minutes. and I got to meet the foster family, and they were such an incredible couple. The wife was very interested in what I had to say, and just very kind and compassionate immediately. I could tell that she wasn't judging me.

I could tell that she really loved my daughter. And for the first time in six months, I was so relieved that a good person has my daughter, because I didn't really know. She was writing me letters after the first couple of months, but I didn't know. and I'm a firm believer in like energy so like I really loved her energy and she was just so kind her husband was in a blue polo in the corner of the room with his arms crossed and I'm like he's a cop I can just tell so I wrote her a letter once I got back to the prison and I asked is is your husband a cop and she goes oh yeah he is he is a cop I can tell so it was that awkward like cop inmate vibe

and I could just pick up on it which was really funny at the time, like the irony in that, but they, they took such good care of her. And I told Heather, the foster mom, I told her, I'm going to do whatever I can to be in Micah's life. I'm changing my life and I will be there for her as soon as I get out. And she believed me and she, she saw how serious I was in that moment. Her husband did not. Because statistically, he would have been right.

I was a drug addict, multiple time offender. You know, so to say that she's not going to be able to get it together and we're going to be able to adopt this baby. That's a fair statement judging by all of the signs. I would have probably made the same assessment. I am different. I got out and was released to a halfway house. So I was technically homeless. I had prison shower shoes, which are really janky flip flops. And I had sweatpants that said 7-11, 548, my inmate number. That's all I owned in the world. I bought them. Oh, okay. That's awesome. You have to pay for them. You still have you still have them. I don't actually. I have a prison t-shirt with my number on it, but I don't. I have a prison t-shirt with my number on it,

I think I lost the sweatpants. Shit. I know. They were really comfortable, too. I worn them in. So I was homeless, and I got a couple of jobs. One was at a telemarketing job, and one was at a smoke shop, like vapor smoke shop. And I had to travel four hours to have visitation with my daughter, because that's where she was placed.

And in order for me to do that, I had to hustle to get rides. So she was placed, you know, four hours away, and I'd hustle to get rides, visit with her for two hours and hustle back. and I was working these two jobs and trying to save up money. I had to get a driver's license. And that's kind of hard because all my shit's in New York, so I had to get a birth certificate. Like, it was just so much, right? I had to get an apartment to make sure that I could, you know, have a place for Micah. It was just obstacle after obstacle after obstacle.

In Arkansas, they don't want to rent you if you're a felon. So that was even more of an obstacle. And I was doing hair focal drug testing, and I was doing all these things for parole. and it was doing therapy. I mean, it was a very long process that spanned over a year long. And finally a year after my release, I was granted full custody of Mika. Really? She's nine years old now.

That's awesome. What was the arrangement with like the foster family and you? Did you guys like have some sort of like mutual understanding of like like because sometimes you would imagine if there's a foster family that takes a baby, a brand new baby? They'll get attached to it and they'll want to keep the baby. A thousand percent they loved her to death. and I'm so glad that she was with people that loved her. And a lot of people think they can't do foster care because they're like,

I'm going to get attached and I'm going to love that child and I'm not going to want to give her back or give him back. If you have that much love to give, you should be a foster parent. Despite your own personal feelings and attachments, if you have that kindness and that love, you should open your home if possible because we have so many kids in foster care. So don't get me started on that. But the arrangement was that if I lost, I would move to the town that they were in

and I would have daily access to Micah and she would still be in my life, which I appreciated, but I wasn't going to settle for that. I was going to fight until my last breath to have custody of my baby. And really, to be completely transparent, I thought I was going to lose

because the odds were heavily stacked against me. And I just wanted my daughter to know, I fought for you until the end. And then when I lost, I appealed it and I fought more and I fought and I've been fighting all your life. I didn't want her to think that I didn't love her and then I just gave up on her. So I really thought that I was just going to lose and she would know that I fought the best that I could. I had heard horror story after horror story of parents

losing their kids and not getting the back. So I really thought that was going to be the case with me. So if anyone's listening and they're shocked that I got my kid back, me too, bro. Me too. I didn't know how to raise a kid or cook anything. Like I didn't know how to be a mom. But I learned and Micah taught me every day what to do. And, you know, it's amazing looking back that I was able to do everything that I did in such a short time. You know, and I'm really proud. I think my, my biggest achievement, my biggest accomplishment is getting custody of Micah. And then obviously, you know, staying sober and doing everything else that I've done. But that, if that didn't happen, nothing else would have happened. If I would have lost her, I would have, I'd probably be dead.

I probably would have relapsed. How long did it take you to finally get custody from the time you got out of prison until you got full custody over over a year over a year still it doesn't like one year doesn't like that long of a time to do that it doesn't but it was really hard really you know they didn't want to give her up not the foster family oh this is the court system oh okay got sure so i had to do you know drug testing and psychological testing and therapy and meetings like n a and a meetings and parole and go visit her every single week i never missed one visit even though i didn't have a car to start with so i would just hustle and i'm like asking people at work i need ride i need to ride like help me please give me your ride. So it was, it was a tremendous struggle. But I did it and I still can't, I still don't even

know how. Like when did I sleep? I was working two jobs at the same time. Right. So it was crazy. I think I just worked myself into stings over. Like I worked to death and I had no time to think about it. You had no time to, yeah. It's crazy there's people like out there like that. People that will just take in a random baby into their life and and raise a brand new baby. That's so much work. So much work. You lose so much sleep. It just takes away so much from you, you know. Do you have kids? Yeah, I have one kid. So you know. Yeah, I couldn't imagine just being like, okay, let's take somebody else's kid and, you know, let's raise it until he or she is too and then give it back. Like that's... Yeah. It's the most. I would love to be a foster parent. But I understand why, like, to some

people, it's like, holy fuck, why would you want to do that so much? But if I wasn't like a career criminal on paper, I would love to be a foster parent because we have like over 400,000. thousand kids in foster care that need good homes. Really? How, I wonder how many, do you know, like the statistics on how many children are born in prison, like to mothers that, like are incarcerated, like give birth, like, get pregnant? You would think I would know. I should know that.

I have a whole ass degree in correctional program support services. I don't have the numbers on it. I bet you a lot of them get knocked up by the guards, right? Why do you think that? I mean, because I know it happens a lot, right, in prison. Like a lot of the female inmates, well, have sex with the male guards. It's not as widespread as you would think, like pregnancy by a guard. Sex, yeah, it's happening. Because I know it happened in Coleman, that prison up in North Florida.

There was a girl there who claimed she got raped by one of the guards, and then she got pregnant. And they found out that her baby was the guard's actual baby. And then they ended up, like, firing the guy, and he got, I think he got in trouble. I mean, he should. So that's insane. Yeah, for sure. It's not, it's not as widespread, though, as you would think. like pregnancy. I'm not saying sex is not widespread in prison. I'm saying like pregnancy. Right, right, right.

A lot of women go in to jail and prison pregnant, and they shouldn't. Unless they're fucking serial killers, can they stay home until they have their baby so it's not traumatic? Like, it's the bare minimum. House arrest would suffice. Most women are in on nonviolent charges, nonviolent drug charges specifically. Like yours, right? Technically, you had guns, but were you violent? On paper, technically, I'm a violent offender.

Okay. But I'm not violent. I wasn't going to hurt anybody. For me, when I say these things, like women should be able to stay home, I fucking know I deserve to go to prison. You know, I did my time. I know that I deserved it. I'm technically a violent offender.

So for me, that wouldn't have changed the outcome for me, but it can change the outcome for so many other women. And I don't think anyone, I don't think any prison should house pregnant women unless they have a nursery program because, oh, my God, just the trauma, the trauma, surrounding leaving your baby, not just for the mother, but for the baby as well. It's so hard. I mean, you're ripping a baby out of, you know, it's mother's hands. Like, this baby has heard the mom's heartbeat and voice for nine months and you're taking that away. Yeah. So it was just, like everything from like the breastfeeding too. Like that's really important. How did you deal with

that? That's a really good question. They have to like tape you up or something? I, I was given ace bandages and told to wrap my chest with ace bandages. Really? And it was the most painful experience of my life. I have some friends that are trans that had top surgery and they're like, you shouldn't wrap it your chest so tightly. I can't believe you had to go through that. But it was excruciating. It was really, really bad. And my boobs did not look good now. I have fake tits, so we fixed it. But it just looked awful and it hurt. It hurt for like two months, I want to say. So it was really hard and plus because I wasn't walking around in that room like my recovery was really bad so I was like limping because of whatever reason I'm not a doctor but my epidural I felt everything on

one side not the other so it was reversed in the healing process where like my limp was on the opposite side and my back killed like my back was so sore for a really long time. Do they fuck out the epidural? I don't know I don't know if that is like a common thing where the epidural doesn't set but I was blessed with a second daughter Riley and she's five, that experience was literal bliss. And that was fire as fuck and I didn't feel anything. Wow. And like I knew what to do.

I felt when I was supposed to push and it was just a very beautiful, happy experience. Micah, I had no idea what to do. I didn't know when to push. I didn't feel anything. I just, it was like my body was like just completely turned off. I didn't know what was happening. They had to tell me that it was time to push. I didn't feel it.

But with Riley, I was able to have the experience that I should have had the first time. Right. You know, I was home eating hot wings and ice cream like a normal person. And it was just a great experience. Well, I mean, you literally went through like a woman's worst nightmare. Yeah. Having your brand new baby ripped from your hands. Like that is literally the worst nightmare of all women, I imagine.

It was horrendous. Like I really don't have words to describe how traumatic it was. But I am diagnosed PTSD now so I can put that, you know, crown on. It was eye-opening to get a diagnosis, actually, because I didn't really know what happened. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't know why I couldn't remember things and why I was in a bed for two weeks and had no idea what was going on. You know, I didn't really understand it. Now I get it.

And when you've experienced trauma surrounding pregnancy, I think it just changes how you view everything, you know? So I never want another woman to go through trauma in a pregnancy ever again. Like, I don't want anyone to have that. experience. I never want to go through it again. It was really hard. Yeah. Good Lord. Yeah, you know, the whole the whole argument of all drugs being legal. I think that would be a, that would be a better thing for this country. I wouldn't say legal. I would say decriminalized, you know, because people here like, oh, make drugs all legal and they think there's going to be like a cocaine store down the street. I think that would be good thing. What's wrong with a cocaine store? I mean, do you, bro? I'm not telling

I mean, as long as a doctor gives it to you and you know it's like safe, you know what I mean. The problem with cocaine is it's cut with shit that kills you, right? I mean. That's a lot of other problems. That's the main problem. People die because it gets cut with shit like fentanyl. Right now, I mean, the fentanyl epidemic is crazy as fuck. And that's what happens when the war on drugs made it so strict to get pills and have access to pills.

So they changed everything. And now it's so easy to get fentanyl and fake press pills. So like the war on drugs is not is not helping anyone. The war on drugs is never going to fucking end, and it's the war on the people. So I think we should decriminalize drugs. Right. And drug addicts don't deserve prison, which is fucking traumatizing. Right.

That doesn't help anybody. No, and you can get drugs in prison. Right. So we're not helping the situation. Maybe drug dealers, prison, drug addicts, treatment. You know, I think that would be a really good place to start, even though there's a lot of overlap. So there's going to be problems with that as well. So a lot of, you know, drug dealers, drug dealers.

drug dealers are really addicts trying to pay for their supply. And we can differentiate between that. But there's going to be a lot of overlap. So I think the first thing that we should do is decriminalized drugs. Or at the very least, stop putting addicts in prison. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. If you could say one positive thing about prison,

like the one thing I would say is that most people that come out of it, at least that I've met, have like a profoundly different view on life. And it's benefited them. where they, well, when you have to sit in one room for that long period of time or one place for that long period of time, you have to do so much self-reflection. You know what I mean? Like you learn so much about yourself. You just by, you know, the small group of people that you're surrounded with. You have to sit there and you have to think. You do whatever you do. You write letters. It does. There's some sort of, I think, personal growth that's, goes along with it. Sometimes. Sometimes. Not all the time, though. Of course not. Of course not. prison, you know, makes a lot of people angry. They're fucking mad at the system. And a lot of inmates are, you know, treated like animals across this country.

Not that animals should be treated that way. That analogy. Prison is a really fucked up place where inmates are traumatized and abused. And PTSD rates of inmates mirror that of war, like combat war veterans. That's not okay. You know, to have a recidivism rate of upwards of 70% in the first three years, that's fucked up. you know, to ostracize felons from getting work, apartments.

We're further disconnecting them from society, which further fuels recidivism rates, addiction, suicide. You know, so there's so many problems with prison. I'm grateful that you've met a lot of people that are doing really well, myself included, but we have so many problems within our prison system that needs to change. I'm not sitting here because prison helped me in any way. I'm sitting here in spite of everything that I've gone through. Have you been in contact with any of the people that were involved in your past life ever since you started doing the whole like YouTube thing? Yeah, yeah. I've interviewed former runners of mine. A friend of mine I used to sell to. She's sober and doing well and she has a YouTube channel. So I do talk to people from my past life. You know, sometimes I, you know, along the way I've tried to help my ex find recovery. He's struggling and that's a really unfortunate thing to get out of

it and see people struggle. But yeah, I talk to some of them or some people that I serve time with. I'll write letters. There was one time and it was so funny. I had like five notebooks across my kitchen counter at one point and I'd just be writing inmates, right? Like a couple of sentences here and I'd walk through like throughout the day of my life with two kids and whatever, I'd write a couple of sentences and at the end of the day when the letters were done, I'd mail them out. I'm like five, we have five fucking inmates right now. And, you know, my friends from back home, they get locked up and they struggle with addiction. And I am the least judgmental about it and the most supportive that I could possibly be

because that could still be me. They don't make it easy for you once you get out too. They don't make it easy for you to like fit back into society and try to like build a better life or build a normal life or because everything. It's impossible to get a job. It's possible to rent an apartment. It's really hard. It's really hard to get a job.

And even if you do get a job, you're not going to get a career with benefits. I mean, with like dental and vision or it's just not going to be a lot of opportunity for like long-term growth. So that's why, you know, when we first sat down, I said it needs to be celebrated when we see people come out and be entrepreneurs and start YouTube channels. It's tough, not just because we can't get jobs, but just the stigma. You know, I'm incredibly blessed and I work for myself and I answer to no one and I'm so grateful. But that is because my subscribers have been so supportive throughout the way, the whole journey. If no one was watching my channel, then all the other stuff that I do wouldn't have happened. I work with a treatment center. I'm a board member on a nonprofit, and I'm doing a lot

of stuff, but it started because the ride or die crew, my subscribers, they support me and they watch my videos. So I'm very, very blessed. But, you know, I think, I think if you go to the short shelf on YouTube on any of my videos or go to my TikTok and you read the comments, that is not the rider die crew. And you'll see, like, don't just, short shelf. Short shelf on YouTube. It's like TikToks, but on YouTube. Oh, the shorts. The shorts. Oh, yeah, yeah.

YouTube has the TikTok. Okay, I got you. Yeah, yeah. So if you go to those videos that get pushed out really heavily, you're going to see a fucking laundry list of people that are like, just don't break the law, shouldn't have broken a lot, don't go to jail. And it's just over and over again. Convict, no one gives a fuck criminal.

And it's just hostile and really violent. And I think that's a really good testament to how people view you after you've left prison. You know what I mean? Not everyone. But it's like 50-50. Some people are like, damn, dude, you've been through a lot of stuff. Like, good job, getting your shit together or you're trying, keep going. It's like half, right?

The other half is, like, on the internet keyboard warriors. Fuck you, convict. We don't give a shit. And they're aggressive about it, which is super funny. I love the YouTube commenters. Do you? They're so fond. Well, they hate me.

They want me dead. But I think they're fucking. Congratulations. No, like, that means that you're doing it. But YouTube is like a rare thing because it's like, it's the only, I think it's the only social media platform that pay. you to make shit, right? Mm-mm. Besides, does TikTok pay now?

TikTok pays. Okay, so TikTok and YouTube. What else? Instagram pays. What? Instagram is monetized, so I can take my, my TikToks and make them Instagram reels, and they pay me, and then I can also get paid on YouTube with my shorts. You get paid directly on Instagram?

We should talk after the episode. I'll help you out. Oh my God. That's crazy. I had no idea. Yeah. They're changing. So they recently monetized just a few months ago, so it's okay.

You don't know. And what? So, and the Instagram, so YouTube is trying to compete with TikTok or making these like short videos or whatever. Yeah, all my subscribers fucking hate them. They can't stand them. They're like, why are these shorts happening? But it allows me to be seen on a wider audience. And a lot of my shorts have surpassed my best performing YouTube video by millions of views.

Really? Yeah. It's insane. Because they push, someone was just telling me about this yesterday. Somebody was just telling me about the YouTube shorts. And basically it's like YouTube trying to compete with TikTok. But then I was thinking about it. I'm like, what the, like YouTube subscribe or people who go on YouTube and they subscribe to a channel, they're usually, they want to sit there.

And especially if it's like someone they know, like you, like it's a personality who they're familiar with. Like they are used to 10 minute videos or 20 minute videos of you talking about whatever. And if they start seeing these 30 second videos pop up every day, like isn't going to piss them off or annoy them? A thousand percent. Yeah. They're so, they're so done with it. But it's helped my channel grow. So because of the short shelf, it's weird that we're talking about this now because I love and hate them.

I also hate shorts. But I've grown like 100,000 subscribers just by uploading shorts. Really? That's big. That's so wild. It's crazy. Does Larry do those too? I think he does.

Larry's a little TikTok lover. He's always on TikTok making little cute little TikToks. I'm in TikTok jail right now, which is sucks. I know. They always put me in jail. I'm used to it. I've done hard time. So I can do

That's a jail you don't want to be in It's the most But yeah I meet Larry tomorrow And I have all these TikToks planned And I can't even post them Into like Monday

Because I'm in jail What does that mean You're in jail Ticktoch jail? So they violate you for saying shit Like ew Because they're like Ridic

Yeah ew EWWW I said ew On someone's video And I got put in jail for that Like a comment Like a comment It's a fucked up world

Over there And they suspended you I mean So I like live in TikTok jail. It's either my content or like a comment that I say to somebody, which if it's my content, fair, I get it. Like I am prison, addiction, mental health, and I swear, like, okay.

But a comment, like, come on. It's, they're too sensitive. If it's a video, like, of my story, though, I a thousand percent understand why they wouldn't want, like, young people seeing that. But why would TikTok allow it in YouTube not? Or Instagram and YouTube allow this shit, but TikTok, is so different. I don't know. There was a TikTok, like, whistleblower that said if TikTok hates you, like people at TikTok, they'll constantly flag you. So someone at TikTok,

I've pissed off. Like, they don't like me. And like I'm kind of living for it. It's fine. But, you know, it is what it is. And do you have any issues on your, like, the kind of content that you post, like true crime, prison stories, stuff like that on your YouTube channel. Do you ever get any kind of issues with, like, YouTube censor in your content? All the time. Really? So they'll demonetize a video, but that is. doesn't mean I'm not going to post it. Right. You know, so that's, YouTube will be like, we're not going to pay you for this.

But I knew going in, like from the very beginning that a lot of stuff that I talk about goes against their guidelines. And I'm completely okay with it. So I'll film a video about my addiction knowing full well that it won't be monetized because it's important. Talking about addiction, they'll demonetize you. Oh, yeah. Wow.

Yep. So, you know, if you have like heroin or meth in the title, they get a little freaked out. Mm-hmm. They don't mess with you. I noticed on one of your videos, yeah, they do fuck with me hard. I noticed on one of your videos, on the word prison, you like put an asterisk on one of the letters of the word prison. So you can't even post something with the word prison on it. I never used to be able to.

They don't care now. So I used to do that to try to like get away with it. I know a lot of people who keep, say they get a shadow banned on YouTube to where like they'll post stuff and people can actually find it in the search. Especially like one guy I know who has like does like a lot of true crime stuff. He says that. And you can, like, type in the name of the video and you can't actually find it. Have you ever dealt with that shit? I mean, right now, my views on YouTube are really low.

Yeah. And it just comes in waves, you know, so sometimes YouTube won't even recommend my videos to my own subscribers, which is so fucked. But it's just, YouTube is hard. It's a hard world. Instagram is, I sent it to you, him yesterday, but Instagram, I heard is going back to the chronological feed to where they don't just post, they don't just show you whatever the algorithm thinks you need to. see you know how i don't know if you remember when instagram first came out no but uh when it first came out they would just show you like what all your people you follow it would show you what they posted in that order like when they posted it now what you did they just show you whatever they think

you're gonna like or share so this is gonna sound weird algorithm they're getting they're going backwards with the algorithm i mean i like old school stuff i i know i'm on social media it's like my job but i'm not like on social media yeah like i don't watch a lot of youtube i don't watch lot of TikTok. I don't scroll on Instagram. Really? I try not to. And I don't have my phone on weekends if I'm at home. Like I just, it's a lot. I try to detach as best as I can. Well, you're busy and you have two, you have two children. You're taking care of. So that makes sense. The phone is violent also. Like, I could just be minding around business and I'll get a death threat, like, randomly. And I'll just see it. I have all notifications turned off. Who the fuck would give you a death threat?

Just random people. Or they're like, fix your teeth, bitch. And I'm like, I know. So I'll just be sitting there eating dinner or something. And I, even though I have all notifications turned off YouTube is like, fuck you, we want you to see this one. Not a nice comment. Like, bitch go die. Jesus Christ, who hurt you? That's hilarious. That's hilarious.

Yeah, no, they, um, the shit, like the, the whole algorithm thing, how they, they, they change the algorithm every, seems like every single week. And people, there's people out there who, like, make content and they just constantly try to chase the algorithm. You know what I mean? They kind of, they're trying to, like, find what's going to, like, fit what's going to like hit right the right click bait the right thumbnail blah blah blah blah all that stuff so many people on youtube are so obsessed with that stuff you know like i've i've been there

just studying the data and analytics and what's performing well and what's not and like i i can get caught up in it too because i get like hyper focused on shit you know like i have ADHD and i'm like oh must understand must find algorithm so like i get it but at the end of the day you have no idea I had a video blow up. It was how to make prison pizza. And the whole thing was like, oh, fuck, I don't have a video for tomorrow. Like, I usually post tomorrow. I should probably whip something up.

The day before, I rummaged through my pantry for all these fucking snacks to make prison pizza. And, like, my sleeve wasn't finished. So that's super embarrassing. I didn't know it was going to blow up. And BuzzFeed picked it up. Oh, shit. Crand 26 million views on BuzzFeed. Wow.

And then a bunch of other pages popped off with it because they stole it, right, from BuzzFeed, which stole it from me. I made zero dollars. I did, however, get a lot of people telling me not to break the law, so that was worth it. People telling you not to break the law? Yeah, shouldn't have broken the law. Oh, wow.

Stop glorifying prison. Skank. So it was fun, really fun to go viral on Facebook. How long ago was that? I didn't even know BuzzPhee was still a thing. Like a year ago, I think prison pizza popped off and got crazy. So how do you make present pizza? So you need to watch the video.

Don't skip the ads. Thanks. Salting crackers. and pizza sauce and cheese, pepperoni, sausage, pickles. It sounds weird. You're going to find all this shit in prison? Yeah. Really?

Sausage and pickles? Oh, my God. Yes. Wow. Yeah, some people put ramen noodles on their prison pizza. Don't trust those people. They're not to be trusted. Yeah, that sounds like too many carbs.

Yeah, you can just buy all that stuff on commissary. Really? There's a whole, like, there's like cookbooks about this, about prison food. Oh, yeah, I know that, but I didn't know you could get like pickles and sausage. and all these amazing toppings in prison. Yes, you can't. Really? It's not the gourmet pickles, but you get some pickles.

They're not the wickles pickles? No. Oh, my God, that's funny as shit. Well, cool. Thank you for doing this and sharing your story. It was very moving and insane, just insane. I've never heard a more terrifying prison story than the one you just told me. And I've heard a lot of fucked up shit.

Babies in prison. It's really hard. But thank you for having me after I ditched you like twice now. You did? I think twice? Maybe twice. Wow. That's fucked up. I know.

My life is insane. That's okay. Well, I forgive you. Thank you so much. And thank you for having me. Absolutely. Thank you. Tell our listeners and viewers where they can find all of your amazing content.

Yeah. It's just my name. It's just Jessica Kent on YouTube. My vlog channel where you can see my family. It's Jessica Kent blogs. My podcast on Spotify, which is not consistent and not a completely. shit show. It's just Jessica Kent on Spotify. Sweet.

Awesome. Well, thanks again, Jessica. Thank you. Goodbye, World.