Danny Jones Podcast - #30 - The Real Florida Man: Prescription Drugs & Heavy Metal | Jake James

Episode Date: January 7, 2020

Jake James is a former oxycontin addict who spent 7 years in prison for robbing a drug store with a syringe and attempting to commit suicide. Jake tells a couple terrifying prison stories and explains how reconnecting with his brother Luke, and being introduced to heavy metal music saved his life.  Follow Jake - https://www.instagram.com/phlorida_man  Follow Luke - https://www.instagram.com/juke_lames Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah, I was rollerblading at Seminole High School. And he comes home with it. So my parents, like, emergency. He comes home with the tooth? No, yeah. They went and had an emergency. Like, the guy came in on the Saturday to glue his tooth back on. It was Super Bowl Sunday.

So later that day, we were wrestling or something. Yeah. Fell back and my elbow hit his tooth and it totally broke again. Oh, my God. And then the doctor said, fuck it. Yeah, fuck it. Just gives you a new. We're going to pull it and give you the whitest tooth that we have.

We're not going to match it. We're going to make sure it does not fucking match. We're going to hope you catch up. Never did. Hopefully you brush the rest of them. No. Well, I'm just trying to like stain it. It's easier just to stain one and the whitening all the rest of them.

Like instead of like doing a whitening strip, I'll just do like... He just puts out a new port on it. Or I'll like put that tooth in a K cup with a little bit of water. So it's just like gold coffee water and just like tries to stain it. I'm just like some neck keef on there. Yeah. Yeah. Instant coffee.

Oh my God. Dude. But I smuggled out. Yeah. I still got it. We should drink a cup. We should drink a cup. All right, let's get this fucker rolling.

Are we rolling? Do we need headphones? If you want him. You don't need him. You don't need him. You don't need him. You don't need him. I'm going to mess up his hair.

Yeah. I'm not going to be able to hear you guys. No, yeah. No, yeah. I just like him because I know. I know it was a joke. Yeah. Fuck.

All right. Mm. Yep. All right. So this podcast is a very rare podcast. Extremely fucking rare. Today's special guest is Jake James Legend of Pinellas County and his brother Luke James. Not so much a legend.

Also, in his own right. Also a legend. Yeah. Our mom had two boys that were all over TV. We're already stars. I was on TV for three days. How about you?

It was just like a solid day on Bay News 9. It was a classic, though. Jake, for everybody out there who's not from this area who may not know who you are, give us like, just introduce yourself. Oh, this isn't local? No, it's not. Yeah, it's local, too. It's also national.

It's the local channel. A little bit about myself. Yeah, just give me the elevator pitch of who Jake James is. Well, it's a complicated and long story. He's never been in an elevator, so he's going to have a hard time. Yeah. I mean, I've been on an escalator. But one of those fast walking things in the airport.

I don't what you call those. That's a fast walking sidewalk. Oh, nice. Oh, it's like a flat escalator. I like it. Yeah. Called a moving road that you can walk on. All right.

Well, I don't fucking know, dude. You don't know who you are? I don't know. Does anybody? No, not really. The Florida man. I'm still kind of trying to figure it out. Yeah.

Well, that's good. I've just done a lot of dumb shit. Like, when you're a little kid, you touch the stove, you know it's hot. I pretty much do that with every aspect of my life. Just touch it. And I forget about it and do it the same thing the next day. But he doesn't touch it.

He just like puts his face on it. It's to the extreme. It's not just a touch. It's not just like a... It's pretty much... It's like, ooh, I kind of like that. Me summed up real quick is I'm either not doing it or I'm all the way fucking in. Kind of deal.

All in or all out? Yeah. There's no. You and Luke are the same in that aspect. Yeah, for sure. Is that like an upgrade? Is that like something that was hardwired into you guys as young kids? I think we get it from our mom.

Totally. But. Dad, too. Yeah, but they're extreme. Well, they can handle it better than, well, I could. Because, like, you look right now how Luke looked like eight years ago. I know. It's weird.

We just switched kind of. Jake never looked like this. Yeah. He never looked this good I don't think I was ever that skinny No No you're always ripped So ripped

Cut up Dude cake man It's all the HGH Yeah It's doing good The protein I think you're taking like the racing Or steroids

Um Straight in the ass What's the shirt What's the shirt side? Oh Sworn to Funload of None What's that mean? It's a motto from one of my good buddies' dads that just passed away.

Oh, okay. Yeah. This gnarly biker dude. Didn't give a fuck. More than none. Pretty much like fuck everybody. You know what I mean? I like that, dude.

Yeah. If it ain't fun, fuck it's just fucking go home. Right. Don't do it. Because that's not fun. Yeah. He made it, right? Yeah, yeah.

You made the shirt? Yeah. I just been making shitty shirts with vinyl iron iron on letters. Oh, okay. I thought I was going to start empire, just like every little thing I do it. It doesn't happen. Just like the Mountain Dew thing. Yeah.

I thought they were going to kick Dale Jr. off and put me on Mountain Dew, but. You mean what Mountain Dew thing? Oh, when we shotgun on those. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was making sure. Because I know you have a Mountain Dew tattoo also, right?

We got to get a little backstory to the Mountain Dew thing. You can't just say it. Like everybody knows. Yeah, give us a, introduce us to. What is the story of the Mountain Dew? Okay, so the Mountain Dew thing started. I don't even know how that started. Was that your idea or my idea?

It was someone's idea. Well, no, you want to me to do that. you wanted me to do a suicide. Like, you know when you're a kid, you hit the fountain. You get all the sodas. A little bit of soda. Luke wanted me to do like a 12 pack of every different soda. Okay.

Like how fast I could do it. Yeah. But then I started reading about all those people dying from like chugging water. So I'm like, Luke, I might die, dude. So he was like, all right, let's just do six tall boys in Mountain Dew, which was almost a gallon. I really didn't do the math, but it sounded better than 12. Yeah. I don't have time for math.

but I'm into it. Six tall boys, 12 dues. It sounds better. But they don't have a conversion. Like, how many tall boys are in a gallon? Yeah, I don't know.

What's in a tall boy? Well, there's 128 ounces in a gallon. 16 ounce? 16.9. 16.9. Oh, were you referencing these cans of liquid death?

Yeah, that was like 96 ounces of Mountain Dew. 128 ounces is a gallon. And you chug the whole thing? Don't ask how I know that, though. Yeah, it's on fucking, it's on, uh, it's on the,

Frick YouTube channel Hit it up It's about to blow up any day now Yeah it's been on there for like five years I think I got like 150 views I thought I thought I was gonna get out And be a superstar but We literally timed it and it was

How long? I think it was A minute and three seconds A minute and three seconds For six tall boy dudes Shotgun six tall boy Mountain dudes So bad Were they code red or regular dude They were regular dudes

Yeah we don't fuck with that code red Okay okay It's either real due Baja blast or get the fuck out Yeah Don't hit me with that Yeah. Oh, that was funny too because I was cooking at this shitty restaurant on the beach. It was like Dollar Taco Day.

So I'm just like jamming tacos while I'm cooking all day. So we shot gunned all six of the dues. And I was like, I just started puking. Right. So I'm throwing up Mountain Dew, throwing up Mountain Dew. And then I hit the tacos. And I was like, all right, I'm good. Oh, I just sober you up a little bit from the dues.

No, I pretty much got them all out. Really? Yeah. but I didn't drink a mountain dew for like probably like a year after that. You should show us the mountain dew tattoo. Oh, the whole can. The whole can't put up to the mic.

Can I get some more mountain dew? I got that right there because I always see guys getting tattoos of like guns in their waistband. That's so funny. We were just talking about that. I was a dude who put these floors and had that. I know. I'm like, that's pretty stupid.

It makes no sense. Lame as tattoos. So I'm like, I want to get a fucking can of Mountain Dew in my waistband. Just pretty much like a fuck you. Oh my gosh. I was going to ask you, I was just going to ask a prison question, but then I realized we didn't even like introduce that whole story yet.

Yeah, that's what I, yeah. Go ahead. You've been to prison. How long were you in prison for? I did total of six years. I got a seven years since. Florida, you have to do 85% of your time. So I ended up doing like give or take,

couple days, six years. Holy shit. Yeah. And what did you go in for? Arm burglary, arm robbery, possession of cocaine, possession of oxycodone. Wow. That's a, that's a tongue twister.

I think that was it. Yeah. That's a lot. It sounds a lot worse than it is. Yeah. Do you want to give some backstory to the lead-up? Yeah. Let a rip.

Oh. Yeah, so how do you get arrested for? Well, I mean, before he gets a lot of. You got to understand like the backstory The monster was made How was the how was this monster born? Okay, so I I was kind of late

Doing drugs I guess as a kid I was probably like what's late 16 maybe? That's late That's not late I'm cute Hard drugs I mean, come on Yeah I mean I tried Coke for the first time at 16 But I didn't try I didn't do it

I didn't do it like a year or two After that I didn't touch it Okay But I should have known that first time when I did it, I shouldn't have done it anymore. Right. Because it's like, that's all you want kind of deal. Yeah.

I just got a super addictive personality kind of deal. Just kind of take off with it. So you're 18, 16 to 18 years old when you got ready to fit? Yeah, but the people I ran with was kind of, they were way earlier than me. Yeah. And I would always say no. And then just kind of started doing it. And, you know, everybody says like, oh, I'm selling drugs, but it's really like, you're

doing them and kind of get them half price because you're selling a few little. You know what I mean? Kind of shit like that. You're just making your stash cheaper. Yeah. Well, I always. That's a good insight. Wow.

How do you know so much about this? Well. We're no saints here. Yeah. So when I was, I don't even know fucking how old I was. That's kind of a blur back then, but I got to hook up with a bunch of people that had a bunch of fucking like Vicodin and shit like that. Yeah.

And I was selling those. And then I started like, you were selling Vicodins? Yeah. So I didn't. I was actually selling them then. Wasn't really doing them. And didn't smoke weed.

Didn't really like going out to bars drinking. Yeah. And then I started trying the pills. And it was like, oh, this feels fucking great. Yeah. So you pop them every day.

And then I didn't have them one day. And I was talking to somebody and they're like, oh, you're dope sick. I'm like, what, like a junkie? Like doing heroin or something? Random dude. And I was probably, oh, no, the guy I knew. Okay.

That would, that does them too. And then, I don't even know how old I was then. I was probably, I was probably like 18 somewhere in there. Yeah. So then it just kind of spiraled from there. Just started doing hard, like just higher dose ones. And with all the pill mill shits around here too. Oh my God.

It was so easy, man. Like totally out of control. Right. That was an epidemic time in Florida for sure. Yeah. No. It was fucking go to doctor. Like you'd go to these,

you'd go to these doctors, man, and there's fucking 100 people outside waiting to get in. And there's people inside. They can't fit no more people in there, and it's all cash. And you know what I mean? Dude, it's still like that, though. I mean, my wife had to just go to the doctor,

and they were, like, trying to give, prescribe her Vicodin. And she's like, no, I really don't want it. I don't need it. I'm fine. She's like, no, no, no, you need it. You need it. And they ended up, like, forcing her a bottle of Vicodin. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but these. She's third way. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're incentivized. Like, I got to tell them if something, I'm like, don't give it to me. I can't do it. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Because I don't even really, I don't want to do it. So how easy was it to get it? Like, what is? It was so easy. Well, I had, when I was 15, I had screws my hips. My hips are all fucked up. So I had x-rays and I would just pretty much take him in there. And if I didn't have the x-rays, I knew what to tell them.

So they kind of know you're not a cop or something like that, I guess. Yeah. So we would hit like Probably like five or six of different ones a month And I mean And you're getting shit to wear Fucking put down a fucking elephant dude Yeah

And then like like fucking uh I'm like oh I got a cough too Let me get some of that permetazine Or my god Anything you want it You just tell him to be like Oh I can't I can't concentrate or At what age?

I got this I think that was Oh man I was high school 2005 so Jeez I was like early 20s Probably like that

Yeah But yeah that was totally out of control So pretty much if you just like had an excuse and some cash And you knew what to say you could get whatever you wanted Yeah yeah yeah that's all it is Yeah it was more so the cash Were you drinking and eating these pills? No no no no

I was never a big drinker At all Believe it or not he never drank back in the day I never drank like I always like You know people like have some drink Seamus Yeah dude See, like, people have some drinks and they're like, oh, I want to go to get some Coke.

Yeah. I'm like, I just want some Coke. Yeah, fuck the drinks. I'm like, I don't want to drink. Holy shit. That's how I was. So I was totally out of my fucking mind. Wow.

Yeah, so. So, like, I mean, like, seeing people now, I'm like, oh, okay, I get why you drink and then do it. But I was just full-blown just doing coke. And then it got to the point to where I was dropping something off for somebody. and they were shooting up shooting up coke shooting up coke yeah so they said do you want to try I go no

and then like a couple more times I'd go over there like different times and one day I was like yeah fuck it whatever so tried that I hated shooting up pills I love shooting up coke I'm snort pills and shoot coke I don't know

because I'm a I have no idea you don't remember you can't remember like what like a reason for it no I just felt like I felt like when you shot up pills, it was, you just went through too many. And then I'm like, I don't want to be dope sick. Right. So I don't want to go through all my pills that quick. Okay.

With the Coke, I mean, if you snort, whatever you do with it, you're going to want it. Yeah, you're going for the rush. No matter what. Yeah, but like that, that was like the end of all the deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got to the point to where I was just, I was just banging Coke, snorting pills. Kind of. All day.

I mean, if I had it, yeah. Wow. And then you're just, because that's just your whole life kind of just revolves around. What are you going to do next to get money? Who are you going to scam? Yeah, what are you going to do kind of around?

Did you have like a job? Did you have like a job or anything at the time that was like holding you down? Like any kind of stability in your life? No, I mean, if there was, I never had like a serious job. So I never really took anything serious back then.

If I didn't like it, I just began to be like, fuck you and leave. Yeah. Because, yeah. It's just kind of like, I'm working the same job kind of jobs now. Yeah, yeah. I got to, you stick with it because you have to.

There's bills to pay now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, walk me through the timeline, how that part of your life led up to the part where you got arrested. Yeah, I mean, when you're, when you're hitting it that hard for so long, it's a matter of time. Yeah. You're either riding around all day with shit. You're, you're always doing something shady. illegal kind of deal like that

the people you hang out with you're fucking hanging out with total fucking scumbags that do not give a fuck about you. They just, they're hanging out because you might be able to get something and vice versa. You know what I mean? I would hang out with people I would never fucking hang out with. Right.

So it's just kind of like that and then you're just getting this wrong crowd and then just shit, you know what I mean? Just shit builds up and everybody keeps going the next level to where it's just like something fucking bad's going to fucking happen. Yeah.

So then, I guess, I guess basically like the first time I really got in trouble. Luke, were you, were you talking to him at all in this? Do you remember this? Do you remember this time? Yeah. We didn't really ever have a great relationship, I think, between the ages of, from whenever I can remember up until he goes out of prison. I mean, we, we really connected in prison.

Yeah. Like, through heavy metal and just kind of, it took me like three years for, of being sober in prison to kind of, if I would have gotten out before the three, like three years, I would have got out and done the same thing. You think? But, oh, I know so. Because I would, some days I'd be like, oh, man,

this is so stupid. Then it's like, oh, I kind of just if I got out right now, I just get high, I'm like, fuck this shit. You skipped the whole part about how, like, you got arrested. You went to county for about eight months. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what, I mean, I was getting to all that, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't take a little detail. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, so, I mean, basically, I

I was with this dude This Yeah, it just seemed like at this point You're just like in a tornado of just like Yeah, I mean you're just kind of You're in a you're in a you're just on autopilot Yeah Just trying to get drugs like not really

You don't care about nobody but yourself Right Yeah, you're just trying to get high Yeah like I mean that's it Right And from my perspective too It's like you know

It's like you show up to All these like family functions You know if you do show up at all Like you show up And then you're like nodding out and like you're dope sick or like you don't want to be there. And like you start fighting with everybody. And then it just like everybody just like wants you to be well. But like you're so caught up in your addiction that you don't recognize the help that's around you.

And like all the love that's surrounding you because you're just looking for that next fix. Yeah. Well, that too. But then it's like you know you're fucked up. Yeah. You're not trying to hear fucking shit about it. Yeah. Like you're not trying to be a hard time.

Do you really know? Like how much do you know? I. Okay, no, no, it's really fucked up because, like, my, my booking photo was like, it was fucking horrible. But you don't think you look that bad. Okay. Until you see that picture. Until you see the pictures are like, like now down the road, I'll look back on a lot of pictures and shit.

And I'm like, what the fuck was I even thinking? Like, you're not thinking. It's like a skull with eyeballs. You do not. No, no, you do not. Like, I was 190 pounds when I got arrested. And I looked, I look fucking ridiculous, like, under 200. pounds.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and it's, you don't, you think you look, you think you look normal. Like, like, you're not on drugs. You think you look fucking normal. Right, you always think you're getting away with it and people don't know this. Yeah, but like, now I'm like, God, like, just how much shit I did. Like, seeing people, like, I mean, that's why, like, a lot of times I would just be, like,

in my, in my place, like, by myself. Yeah. Like, I don't have to see nobody. I have to talk to anybody. Yeah. Because it's, like, you can't fucking talk to anybody. Or you're so fucking coked out of your mind that you can't even look anybody in yeah you're fucking looking on the grass.

You're like going to the store to get cigarettes and you're just like, fuck, I hope nobody's in line. And then you're just like, if somebody's in line, you're just like kind of like dancing around, just looking at the floor. Yeah,

you don't want to stand still. Like a fucking ballerina. Yeah, man. Just so nobody like looks you in the face. Jesus. People know. Yeah,

but I honestly did not think I looked as bad as I did or really. You don't, yeah, it's really weird how that, how that kind of happens. So were there any actual family function? like this? I would always, I would never go.

You would never go. I would never go. Oh, Luke says there were. There's a couple. Well, probably a couple, but for the most part, I would always not go. Yeah, you know. Like family vacations, my mom would be like, yeah, yeah. Oh, we're going to Mexico.

Yeah. Are you going to go? Yeah, I'll go. Jake, are you really going to go? Yeah, I'll go. Buy me the ticket. We were like in high school. Yeah.

So then the day would come like five in the morning. They're banging on my door. I'm like, fuck you. I'm not coming out pretty much that one time. And there was like, and then I had to leave. I think I didn't, I didn't have no place to stay for like a week. So I was pretty much just like trying to scrounge up enough money to get a shitty hotel room. But there was a couple of days where I would just be walking around all night and then like sleeping on the side of somebody's house I knew.

But I wouldn't tell them kind of I was there like that. Yeah. Like during the day I would do it. Yeah. Fuck. There was one like Easter trip too. I remember where like we all went to Cocoa Beach. Like you, you two like ended up at like the double tree.

north of the Air Force space. My mom would always take this. And it was like me and Greg at like a holiday inn. And Jake was supposed to come. And you came late. You guys came for like one night you showed up at like 3 a.m. And then you left at like seven. And you all were like tearing ass across Florida.

That old Oldsmobile that you had just probably fucking getting booted the whole way. Oh dude. Okay. That was so fucked because like that was probably like I had been new to do him below then. And I was so fucking geeked out that. we decided we ended up leaving like i think we left at like 10 o'clock at night who's we uh me and a couple of my buddies yeah uh i think i think they all they're in prison right now but shout out to the homies yeah this one of them we borrowed the tricycle for that jimmy heart

commercial where he was dressed up like jigsaw really yeah wow and he tried to pawn my phone when i gave him her right home is that the greasness yeah yeah okay But, um, wow. But yeah, I remember because we left at 10 and don't take that long to get over there. But I was so, like, I could not fucking see. I was like, I was driving. That's a good two and a half, three hours. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, easy. It was like 10 o'clock at night, but then we got there at three. And we were driving the whole time. I kept fucking missing the same exit on the highway. And I had to keep going. I remember just doing like, we probably did like three or four loops, like super long loops on the highway. No idea where I'm going, like, super blurry vision to where like, you're trying to look at your phone. You're like, okay, I'll look at that.

tomorrow. Your Motorola. Your Motorola of brick phone. Trying to play snake. A piece of shoe iPhones. Something's out of focus, man. Oh, it was a fucking Nokia back then.

Why they're making these phones out of focus like this? I was probably playing snake while it was dry. Yeah. Yeah, that's bad. I mean, yeah, I fucking totally forgot about that. Yeah.

Somebody had a water bottle full of vodka. And then mom woke up in the morning. God, we were still in high school, right? I was like 17. We weren't in high school in the same time, were we? No. No, I graduated. Right when we went there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were probably like eighth grade. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So then I remember my mom gets up in the morning and happens to grab this water bottle full of vodka. And she, I don't know how people do this. So, I mean, she chugs it.

And then, like, after three gulps, realizes it's vodka. And I'm like, three gulps. And then she finishes it. That's, that's. that's why I'm called bullshit I'm why she was pissed I mean you know that when you open the fucking water bottle Oh right

It hits the nose real quick Especially Luke has a nose Just like my mom Yeah yeah You know she smelled that You can smell it through the plastic Oh Bonus

Also if you're grabbing like a random water bottle That isn't yours You're totally at fault for anything that's in it If you just go for it Oh yeah Oh every time I open a water bottle I don't hear that click. I'm like,

no, what's in there? Yeah, yeah, for sure. So she drinks the whole thing? Yeah, I'm actually kind of blaming the whole story

about that about on my mom. Thanks, mom. Love you. Holy fuck. Yeah, there's been, there's a lot of,

there's a lot of crazy stories like, I'm sure I don't even remember. Your parents were fucking super cool back then, though. They always let us chill at the house. Do you still have the cigarettes? car? Yeah, I still got a cigarette scar. Mine shows up in a little circle right there.

Can you really see it? Yeah, right there. How do you guys feel about when you see a can of Milwaukee's best? I haven't drank one since, probably, to be honest with you. They don't have the gold tops anymore, so I don't get the flashbacks I used to. I mean, I was just trying to help you guys out. You really did help us out. I was going down the wrong path. How did that shit go? How did that work? Okay, so, I mean, I was fucked up back then, too.

Yeah, so it's pretty much the whole life. stealing money from his younger brother who was trying to score some beer? No, I did not steal it from you. Yeah, we willing to ask you. They wanted to get them. That's capitalism. Yeah, we're like 16, 17 and we want some beer. I just started an economics class in high school.

Yeah. Yeah, so we ask you for beer. And I don't know, it was you or somebody else. We're like, go ask Jake for a dip. He can buy some beer. We got like $20, $30 or whatever. You come back and he's like, yeah, he'll buy it for us. but he wants to put a cigarette out on our arm

and that's the only way he'll do it and we're like fuck no he's like well then he's not buying the beer we're like all right well fuck it just do it like how bad could it be to put a cigarette out on your arm but I remember he comes over and he puts the cigarette out of my arm and then it like it boils up

and then surprise then he takes his thumb and he just riffs the skin off of it so it wasn't like you just put it out that's something you just like and then cool we're getting some beer but he singes it And it takes his thumbnail and scrapes the fucking skin off. And it's like, fuck.

He says, it was like four of us. And then he made eye contact with me as he was doing my. He's like, I own you. But the really fucked up part about it was I was supposed to get you guys a case of Milwaukee's best for 30 bucks. Yeah. I show up with a 12 pack. Yeah. And it was ice.

Yeah. Milwaukee's ice. Yeah. We still got fucked up on that, though, for sure. And my parents found the cans in the yard like 10 years later. They were like, rentiode renovation. Dude, if our parents ever ripped up that front yard with all this pulmetto plants. What would they find?

Oh, man, I don't even know. Like, weird shit. I think that you just probably forgot that you left there. Probably Luke's tooths out there somewhere. I wish they would. I wish they would. I'm tired of looking like an idiot. It gives you a character.

Yeah, that's right. Jesus Christ. It's like the McDonald's golden arches. I just tell people I was like, I couldn't afford a gold tooth, so I was like, give me the whitest one. You got. The gold would actually be sick. Oh, yeah, you should have got gold. You fucked up.

You could always switch it up in the future, can you switch it up? I mean, I think I'm due. You're due now. You've earned it at this point. It's like a phone plan. You got to rock it. It's not permanent. No.

It's still unlay away. Yeah. She'd get one of those diamonds on there. Oh, man. All right. Yeah, those were amazing times back. I like how this podcast is just going about Luke's teeth and nose. It circles back to the teeth somehow.

Every conversation. It's just nice to be included in the conversation. I don't care what it is. Like, honestly, it's just really great to be here. And they just grown up with me, you got some pretty thick skin. Yeah, definitely. You ain't going to hurt me. So walk us through the, walk us up to the actual arrest.

How did that, how did that, what led up to that? Okay, so I got a rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I got. I got arrested in 2007. I was driving somebody around. We picked up this crackhead in St. Pete that owed him money and told us to drive to Seminole. That's where the money was that he had at his house.

So he tells us go to this house in Seminole. He's like, oh, that's a house right there. So we're in the car. We're not even really paying attention to him. He gets out and just fucking books it. But we don't know that. So the dude I'm with just fucking. he's like where's my fucking money i was like dude he left it's not even his house the dude

fucking is so mad we're all fucked up too so he fucking he gets out he's yelling where's my money and now we're in fucking seminal there's fucking kids i remember kids playing so parents are fucking watching yeah this is like broad daylight this is broad fucking daylight in middle of afternoon this dumb motherfucker kicks this fucking door in okay nobody was fucking home thank god because like it probably would have been like a life sentence kind of deal so he gets And then he fucking grabs like a few shotguns. Out of this house? Yeah, yeah.

So it's just a random house. A random house that he, that the dude told him that he lived at. But he didn't fucking live there kind of deal. So he just wanted a ride or something. No, he, okay, so we picked him up because he owed the dude money. Yeah.

And he's like, oh, you got to drive me to St. Seminole to this house so I can get my money or whatever. Which you never trust a crackhead because a crackhead never leaves money anywhere. Yeah. I know that now. Yeah, for sure. That's a good lesson to learn. It's a hard life advice.

Yeah, so it ends up, he ends up turning like, okay, kicking in the door, nobody's home. Cool. Third degree, third degree felony, like lowest felony. Mm-hmm. You grab guns, you arm yourself. It's armed burglary, which is like a first, first-degree felony kind of deal. Right. He brought the guns or the guns?

No, he stole him out of the house. So in Florida, if you, okay, so say you're like going in somebody's house to go, like, burglar him. Yeah. Not home. Yeah. It's, I mean, it's serious, but it's, it's not that fucking serious. Yeah.

You steal a gun from their house. It's armed. You arm yourself. That's considered armed burglary. So it's just as bad as going in there with the gun. No, I mean, that's actually a little bit worse. That's like home invasion. Home invasion.

Yeah. But it's, I mean, it's up there, though, too. So, so whatever, we get, we get pop for that. Oh, no. Okay. So we get away, they get my license plate. We fucking say. Who are the neighbors?

Yeah, the neighbors got my license plate. Cops come to my house. they talk to me what happened they tell me to come in and make a statement on this date I go okay I never fucking go never do a statement it's like three months goes by

nothing I'm like cool you're good I got away yeah right no no no I'm fucking cutting trees I'm uh I'm I got on with some dude I don't even know how I got the job but it was like a tree service so I'm just like grounds dude whatever if I'm fucked up whatever

yeah so I see that these like three cars like pulling off Indian Rock's Road at this house. And I was like, damn, let's kind of look like cops. So then they pull in the neighborhood real quick. They turn around. They jump out. And I start running. Oh, shit.

And I got pills on me and I'm fucking eating them. And then so they got their guns drawn on me. No. So I get arrested that day. That was February 25th, 2007. So I had to sit in the county for eight months. I ended up, that was like, that was my first like getting in trouble kind of deal. So what do they charge you with?

The home or the burglary? I got charged with armed burglary. You went in the house too? I didn't go in the house. I was in the car. I mean, that's how it goes. What? Okay, so if I'm like, I'm like, hey, Danny, drive me in the store real quick.

Yeah. And I rob it. You rob it. But you don't even know. And I get back in the car. Yeah. You're fucking, you're getting charged with armed robbery too. Right.

Okay. It's your fucking car. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, no, no. So my parents bail me out a week later. Right?

They bail me out a week later. Even though you had eight months? No, no, no. I didn't do eight months on that time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got a, I got a mixed up.

Okay. This is a lot of shit show coming up here. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. Okay, so I get arrested for that. A week later,

I fucking finally convinced my parents, like, you got to let me out. I'm so fucking dope sick. Like, I'm hurting so bad. It sucks. Everything fucking sucks. And then,

so I get out fucking right back on it. Let's go hit the doctor. Let's go do this and that. So I'm right around this fucking other motherfucker. We got a shit ton of pill. Coke, and we have a ton of money on us. And I'm driving this cattle, a Cadillac.

I know we have to get gas. Yeah. I keep fucking forgetting to get gas. Fucking run out of gas at Park and Park Boulevard and Summer Boulevard. Yeah. Okay. That mobile is. Yeah.

So this fucking Scronny, Coked out motherfucker can't push a Cadillac. Right. Okay. So I have to get out and push it. He's got a suspended license. So there's a, but there's a cop in the mobile parking lot.

He goes, do you boys need some help? No, I got it. So we pushed the car in. And he's like, oh, because we look, we look fucked. We look out of our fucking minds. He's like, he's like, you know something's going on. So he's like, well, okay, I see your IDs?

And I'm like, cool, yeah, here. And then the dude gives him his. And he runs the guy. Okay, so the car's not actually running, but he's driving the car. And you're pushing it. Right. So apparently it goes back to the state of Florida versus Fred Flintstone law. I was just thinking of that shit.

Okay, so, but, I mean, okay, early in the day, we, we bought, like, these huge box of fucking needles, and we're just shooting up all day and throwing the ones behind us. Okay. In the back seat of the car. So there's probably, like, 15 fucking needles laying in the back of the car on the floor. So, and there's, he threw coke under my seat. I had pills on me. And so I ended up getting arrested that day. So why?

Because he runs dude's idea. Well, he runs. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. He runs the guy's ID, and since it's suspended, he's got probable causes to search my car. Right. Because he's driving. Yeah. Like, no questions about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, uh, and that motherfucker threw the Coke under my seat, too. So I got, I got all the charges that day. That was another guy. He got arrested like 20 times. Never, never did more than a couple days in jail. So that's a little fishy. Yeah.

No, I know. So, uh, that happens. So it's a week later. So now I'm back in. Ain't nobody fucking bailing me out now. So I had to ride it out for like eight months. I was charged with possession of coke, possession of oxcodone on that one. And that was one of the first times I went and saw him was through the video screen.

Video chat, yeah. At the jail on 49th, it was like one of the first steps towards our relationship actually being something. It was like me and my mom rolling up there and like talking to them on that. You sound pretty cute. Thank you. You're welcome. Is that voice taking you back to those times? We could take that back to the cell with you until your boys.

about it. Yeah, sure it is. I saw it tear. No, it was cool. I mean, I appreciate all that shit. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah.

Yeah, so I fucking rat it out for eight months. Oh, no, no, no. Okay, so it goes real fucked up. So you get a rain, you get a rain like a day or two later, depending on when you get arrested. And then your first court date, like something like mine's probably, I'm probably in there for like two months before I get into the actual court date where I'd stand in front of a judge. I was talking to my parents. I'm like, they're like, do you want to get a lawyer?

I go Uh No Let me back up That was the other time I got it That was the next time We'll get there Okay so we're getting there

So I ended up going eight months They ended up giving me probation I forgot how many How long it was Yeah So I get I get out on probation And The day we got out

My mom took them straight To like outback Steakhouse For like Fucking like surf and turf And blooming onions Fuck yeah And he's still just like Fucking strung out in there

Just like I fucking hate everybody This fucking sucks And then like Do you remember that? No, no, there's a lot of stuff like I don't remember. Uh-huh. And I remember very vividly taking you to checkers, too, on the one by Gooses that's closed down now around here.

And, like, we're just like in line ordering spicy chickens and you're still just like wanting to get fucked up. And you're just like, this fucking sucks. You know, there wasn't even my fault. It was fucking bullshit. And you're just like, you keep like repeating that same story about like how it wasn't your fault and how like you didn't deserve to be in there for that long and how fucked up it was. Well, yeah, yeah. You go through that layout. because I'm fucked up, but I didn't fucking do that shit.

Right. And that next shit, I mean, that was because of that. I mean, that's just kind of how you think, you know what I mean? But all the fucking bad. It was like a chain reaction. But all the bad shit you've done. I mean, that leads you to that point. Right.

I mean, you fucking, when shit like that happens, you totally deserve it because you're hanging out with those people. Right. If you're not, you know what I'm talking about? Right. I mean, these are fucking scumbags. These aren't like dudes that got their shit together and doing bad shit. These are like total. fucking pieces of shit.

Yeah. I mean, that's what I was at that time. Yeah. Like, I didn't give a fuck about nobody. So, yeah,

a lot of that shit I don't remember because I was so fucking high. Like, yeah. Just kind of shit like that. And then, so we keep going, like fast forward kind of,

just keep doing the same shit. Get some, oh, no, I think I tried to, I went to the doctor and I tried to just sell them because I just had this thing about

fucking working. I do not like working. Yeah. or like being told what to do kind of deal which was which has been pretty pretty rough for all the shit I've fucking done so um yeah just just fast forward just kind of uh just kind of fell right back to like I never went to jail like nothing ever happened I'm I'm still getting fucked up just the same as I was same vicious cycle tried smoking crack I shot up crack a lot more than I what was that like uh I don't know I just shot I smoked it like once or twice oh okay I didn't

really like smoking it because I was like well I'm not crack it, I'm just going to shoot crack. Well, I'm not smoking it. But it's funny, you're just saying to, like, when you're that fucked up, you just try to be like, well, it's hard because, like, a lot of people, like, normal people are like, well, at least I'm not, at least I'm not as bad as they are. But, like, when you're fucking doing everything, it's like,

you just got to, you're grasping onto, like, you're, like, hanging off a cliff, hanging, hanging onto, like, a piece of grass. You know, at least it's not meth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and that is like probably the only, that is the only drug I've never done, like, knowingly. Like, never bought meth.

Never bought meth. I might have done it in ecstasy or anything. It might have been in some coat, but I never. I never, like a politician. I have never, never knowingly done meth. I did not inhale when I smoked. I didn't inhale. I only shoved it up my ass.

Oh, I just worry about my prison pocket. We're getting there. Whoa, what the fuck? What's the armpit? Is that a, uh, Holy shit scratch and sniff what's it smell like Luke

Mahaffers Slim gyms and if you've ever been to Mahaffers you know what that smells like It's like slim jims and stray cats Had a little bit of bush light Oh That photo with me with the pineapple

Oh yeah He's going to be the Mahaffer clone It was going to smell like cat piss marbrose and bush Oh man Nice I'd wear it Yeah so where are we going?

Yeah. So it just, the eight months I was out after, after I got out on probation was just same shit. Spirling. So on, I got arrested that first time on February 25th, 2017.

On February 25th, 2018, I had no idea. It was one year to the date. I, I had Coke, but I didn't do it that night for some reason, which was I never went to bed with drugs,

ever. You always finish. I always finished it. I could not keep it at all. I had to go until it was gone. So, but it was weird. That morning I woke up super early and I'm like, oh, cool. I'm going to shoot up cocaine all day today.

So, but I didn't have. That's the first thought you had? Yeah. Well, because you wake up with the bag. You're like, fuck you. Yeah, but it's like, I didn't even have it like a regular, like, because when you shoot drugs, you use like an insulin needle. Okay.

It's really small. Okay. Okay. Okay. The only thing I had was like what you shoot steroids with. Like a big fucking. What's the different? It's thicker?

It's, it's, it's, the needle that, that is. Okay, so, whenever the doctor So like, like an insulin needle when you're shooting up regular drugs. I mean, it's like that long. And it's, it's, it's, it's like smaller than a fucking sewing needle. Yeah.

Okay. A steroid needle is like that fucking long. And it's fucking, it's pretty girthy. It's pretty wide. It's really good. Like one of those McDonald's draws. Long and girthy. That wide.

I don't have a lot of experience with that. Do you, uh, take it from here, Luke? or do you take after mom or dad? Were you talking about girth or? I thought they called you the tuna can. You old tuna can James up in here. Yeah, so, yeah, so, I mean, that's fucked. It's just like your arms are fucked.

I was wearing like long sleeves. I never got like track marks, but I would just stick them wherever. But like you're just kind of just like got. polka dots kind of all over. It was pretty obvious. You could see it pretty well. Yeah, so I would wear like long sleeves and then um, he's always wearing sweaters. Yeah. And I fuck, I never wear sweaters. Right. And Florida. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, I fucking forgot where we're going with this. Uh, we were, we were leading up to the second arrest. Yeah. You woke up with a, you're like, I'm gonna wake up and shoot out. When I woke up, yeah, I mean, that's, that's years and years of drug abuse right there. Thanks,

but. Um, that's what you're here. That's what he's here for. Yeah. So, so that day, I mean, I was hanging out with this chick just like total Pinellas Park like homecoming queen. And we were riding around just kind of shooting up drugs. And I remember we're in the Seminole Mall fucking bathroom. And she's like, do you got any more? I was like, no. I'm just going to go. I'm like, I can do the bathroom.

And then like shoot up in the bathroom. And then something happened. I dropped her off at somebody's house. And then it just kind of hit me all at once. It's kind of like, what are you doing? what are you doing with your life? Like this isn't you because like people that know me, no, I'm not, I mean, I'm fucking crazy,

but I'm not like that fucking insane like with the drugs and all that. Well, they knew I was fucked up with the drugs, but they didn't think I would really do anything too crazy. So I just kind of, I don't know even know what made me think about it. I was just like, I want to go, I want to kill myself,

but I'm going to do it by running in a pharmacy and ODing on the pills kind of deal, just kind of OD in the pharmacy. You just had the idea at Seminole Mall that you wanted to, this was after I, after I dropped the girl off, I was driving around. I was out of drugs too, which is, oh, you're out. So you're on like the fucking. Yeah, I was out of, I was out of Coke. So like when you're coming down off.

I mean, it's, it's a shitty feeling. And then it's just, it just sucks. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to run in this pharmacy that I used to go to all the time. Just, uh, just the same shit. Like, yeah, you could be like, hey, could you just front me like 10 of them until I get my script done in a couple days? and they kind of they would do it kind of like they mean they were all pieces of shit too so yeah yeah yeah I didn't really feel bad about it but um I had but I was shooting up we didn't have any water bottles in the car and you shoot you need like water and stuff to shoot up so I had an old thing of fruit punch in

my car why I need water uh when you when you mix it to shoot up drugs so you mix the cocaine with water yeah and you put it in the needle that's like yeah you draw it that's what makes it yeah okay that's how you can shoot it so um I had I had a fruit punch rolling around the car. I filled the needle up with fruit punch and I ran in the pharmacy. What the fuck? So they, yeah, it was fuck dude, but. So wait, okay, you filled up with fruit punch, why? Because that's all you

had. You thought it was blood? No, no, no, to make it look like blood. So I was in a pharmacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like his weapon going in there with it. Okay. But, like, like, I got my name tattoo tomorrow. It was my first tattoo when I was 16. I remember that. I ripped my fucking, I think I ripped a sleeve. That's how fucked up was. It makes no fucking sense.

I, like, ripped one of my sleeves off and put it over my Jake tattoo. They won't know who I am now. That's the deal. But I was in, I remember just standing in the pharmacy and I couldn't pull the trigger. I couldn't do it. And then I was about to walk out. I was about to turn around and just leave.

And then I, something just like totally fucking came over him. He was like, no, motherfucker, we're doing this. And I was, it was kind of a blur from then. I remember these two chicks in there. They were freaked out, like the guy that owned it. They're like, it's in the back. It's in the back. So wait, wait, wait, you're standing in the pharmacy, like, where?

Are you like, oh, like in the, it's a, it's a small shit hole. I mean, it's just kind of like, okay. That's probably the only thing they ever filled prescription-wise was like opiates and shit like that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It kind of deal like that was back in the day when they were pumping them all out like that. So, uh, I was just standing there just kind of like, because they would have like band-aids and like kind of weird shit like that. It was kind of like the, uh, the top shelf, the, the food mart right by our house.

Oh, yeah. Nothing in it. Just kind of like... They got some bengay in there. Yeah, yeah. Just like dumb shit like that. Just to make it look like a real pharmacy. Yeah.

Some gals. So I was kind of like walking around, waiting for people to leave. And then that's when that happened to where I was almost like walking out. And then I just remember turning and be like... Where was this needle the whole time? I probably had it. I'm not sure 100%. I probably had like in my pocket or something like that.

Okay. Okay. So then I pulled it out. I said where are they at? And they're like, they're in the back. They're all in the back. And I remember going back in the pharmacy in the little room where they keep all, like, the drugs kind of locked up.

Yeah. So I didn't know where the fuck they were at. And it's just like, you're just like that shit going on at two at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. But it was just like shitty little fucking Home Depot drawers that were like locked drawers. Yeah. So I'm just ripping the fronts of the drawers off with like with my hands.

Kind of. And then I finally, I'm like, looking for the pills. Like the holy fucking grill. Like, I find the drawer with all all in there. The fountain of youth. Yeah.

So then they have one of these big, big huge, like mortar and pistols, kind of how they compound the drugs now. Like you grind the powder and shit. Yeah, yeah, like that. So I remember taking like three,

three bottles of the Roxies, which is like a hundred in each bottle and just dumping them all into this fucking big thing. And fucking just mash it them off. Just fucking like, get some water. I get some water. I'm carrying butter.

Oh, yeah. No, that's what, dude, it was like, I kind of wish there was a video of it because it was so fucking ridiculous what I did. You wish there was a video? Oh, I kind of do now just so, like, kind of see it. I would love to see it. Well, what is you're playing with the needle? You're robbing them or you're like, I'm killing myself. They know, they know the deal.

I just told them. You got a serrate. Where's it at? Where's it? Right. And instantly they know, because that's all they fucking. You don't have to ask where you say? That's all they pump out of there.

Where is it? That's all they pump out of there. And they know that. So they're like it's in the back Roxy's. So is the plan to rob them and get out of there? No, my plan was to go in and kill myself, an OD. Okay.

So I get back there and I'm crushing all these fucking pills up. I dump water in there. I'm trying to fucking, this little ass needle trying to like, it's like. Is there still Kool-Aid in the needle? No, I push that out. Okay. That's why.

He drank that first. That's why. I get thirsty in here. Oh, God. That's so hot. That's why, but that's why, Because I had the one needle and if it was blood, it would have totally like clogged up.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's another problem when you're a fucking junkie. You guys wouldn't know about that. What? Just your needles clogging if there's blood or something in there. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm back there and I'm trying to draw all these fucking whatever the fuck I just made into the needle. Some soup? But I couldn't get it. I couldn't get it out. Well, it's too thick or? It's, okay, so when you're shooting up shit, you put it in whatever, like a spoon or a cat. or whatever. But you take your cigarette filter,

you pull it out. Right, right, right. To filter it. Ball it up. And then that's how you filters it to keep all the, keep all the good shit in there. You know what I mean? Oh, okay.

So, so you're going no filter. You're just going straight to the needle. I'm just trying to, and I'm getting mad. I'm getting mad at first because I'm like, why isn't this fucking, I just want to just end this right now.

But then I don't know, something came over. I'm like, I kind of snapped out of it to where I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, oh, then it's just kind of you come to and you're like, fuck oh man I fucked up really fucking bad and um so I didn't know this at the time but there was a I think there was a 38 a gun handgun in the back in the back room where I was at I was locked in

they locked you in there they were trying to call me tell me to like the I think the people the dude that owned the pharmacy he was like Jake he knew me oh really I mean so he's like tell me to come out I'm just like I don't even know why the fuck I was answering the phone it's kind of weird I never even thought about that yeah like that like the landline called you you? They called, like, I remember answering the phone and shit. In the background. No, it was in this back.

I was in this background when they kept all their, like, and there was a phone back there. There was a phone back there and it kept ringing. I was, I don't know why I answered it. I kept answering it, though. So I'm like, he's telling me to come out and then, so there was a handgun in the back.

Yeah. So they called the cops. They told him there's a handgun in the back. But I didn't know about it. So SWAT team came. And it wasn't, it didn't take that long from me. So at this point, you had given up on,

on trying to kill yourself. Yeah, no. I kind of snapped out of it, just kind of like, oh, man, what the fuck are you doing, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't eat none of them or anything. You're just like, fuck it. You're just waiting for the cops to come. No.

So, well, they come and the SWAT team comes. It's banging on the door, like, come out. I'm telling them, fuck you. I'm not coming out because now I'm just like, oh, man, what the fuck am I going to do? And then I'm like, well, I'm going to be dope sick as fuck. So I hid pills to where I could bring him in. Yeah. Don't really want to talk about how I brought him in just so.

No details. I don't want to fuck up anybody else's chance to bring shit into jail. Keep doing your shit. Take care of everybody in jail. Jail sucks. Yeah. And drugs make you feel a little better. But anyways.

You found a way to sneak them in. I snuck them in. How many of them? I probably had like, there had been like 20 of them. Okay. So that probably lasted me like two days. So this is before they broke down the door or whatever. No, they didn't actually break down the door.

I know we're jumping ahead a little bit. But so they're banging on the door telling me to come out. I'm telling them I'm not coming out. And then after I, figure out how to bring them in and I didn't bring them in my fucking safety deposit box in the jail purse. Yeah, in the prison pocket.

Didn't do that. That's what everybody's probably thinking right. Yeah, for sure. I mean, but I would if I had to. Fuck that shit. Got a lot of space up there. Yeah, so finally, after I get situated how I want to do it, I got what I need.

I'm like, fuck it. I'm like, I'm coming out. So I tell, I bang on the door back and I'm like, I'm coming out because I'm like, I'm probably going to get fucking shot. So I remember opening this back door and it's right by the back exit door to like the shop and there's there's got to be like 10 or 15 red dots on this fucking back door so when I open the door it swings this way and you

see the exit door's here so I just see all these fucking red dots on this back as it's oh my god yeah so I'm like so I just out of the doorway I just kind of stick my hands out after you saw the red dots I go I go like this I'm like I'm coming out and then um So I just try to go like, I'm like, all right, let me see what I'm doing the movies or something like that. So I just kind of like, I'm coming out because you don't know what to fucking do. There's just so much going on. It's like, kind of don't want to get shot. I mean, I tried to kill myself, but I didn't want to do it.

So definitely don't want to like come in here. So I finally get out. And I had sweatpants on too. So I fucking turn around, I put my hands on my head. And then they fucking bumrush me. I mean, my fucking pants are around my fucking knees. My little Coke dicks flopping around. around fucking everywhere on the floor.

But it's just like What is it Coke dick? It's like you ever see one of those old school doorstoppers? Yeah. It's pretty much like that. Okay. It's like that but smaller. So,

yeah, so then I'm sitting in the back of the cop car like in front of this fucking pharmacy. I remember Bay News 9 come in there and you're just sitting there in the fucking back of a cop car. No tent. Just like. Fishbowl.

And then all your thing, I'm like, all I'm thinking about is like, God damn. I'm like, am I going to like ever get out again? And, because I was 24 when that happened. That was 18. Yeah, yeah. 19. No, you were 20, buddy.

That was 20, buddy. That was funny. Yeah, so you're sitting back of this cop car in front of the fucking pharmacy. People all around news there. And you're like, cool. Like, feel like just a total piece of shit. How long did they keep you in the car? I was probably out front of the pharmacy for like two or three hours because they got to do like all this shit.

And then they fucking. can probably take you. But I was sitting in the car kind of like away from everybody. But like everybody's walking by you looking in and it's just kind of like fuck you motherfucker. Like,

gay news nine comes up. I was like, how do you feel about what just happened? How do you feel like your performance in there? Just leave me alone. I'm trying to kill myself. Oh my God. So we're going to jail and then like

that's all that's kind of running through my mind is like how long I'm going to be gone for kind of deal. And then and then I was like, oh, dude, you know what's so fuck too? So we get into books. I get booked. Well,

we go in and you get like strip searched. Kind of depends on one. Cavity search? No, they don't never, they don't cavity search you. Okay. If they feel like you've stuck something in something,

they'll put you in a room to where there's like no running water. So until you like shit or something like that. Oh, really? Yeah. They'll put you a confinement by yourself. Yeah. So like that, like that.

But I mean, you get butt ass naked. You didn't request the cavity search? I did. They told me. fuck off. Here's a bologna sandwich and some apple juice instead.

Yeah, but it's, I mean, it's, I mean, but now, like, it's, it's kind of like, I've been, I've been strip-serts so much, like, I really don't give a fuck. I would kind of actually battle, well, we'll get to that later, too. I would battle. If you were the guard and now as me, we would both try to make each other more

uncomfortable as possible. So, like, what would you do? Well, here, let me, let me get what this, let me get what this story. So we get booked I get strip searched You get your clothes back And then you're in booking

You're in central booking Where they do your fingerprints And your photos Yeah yeah I mean Pinellas County jail is so fucked Fuck you You fucking cock suckers Thank you

And then So you're probably I was probably down there For like 20 hours And you're in this room The concrete room No windows And just for fluorescent lights

Like you do not know What fucking time it is But just on the clock On the wall Right But if it says eight You're like I wonder if that's 8 in the morning right at night.

You're right. So there's a one bathroom, and then there's a guard standing right outside of it that you can go use, but it's like there's no stalls, no nothing. And then I was like, well, I'm kind of getting dope sick. So I was like, I wonder if I can... I fucking crushed up a fucking Roxy in this bathroom. And thank God nobody walked in when I was doing it and fucking started it.

While I was in Booking's bathroom. Damn. I just did. I didn't give a fuck, dude. Right. And they got the... door with the little window. They can see you.

What are you going to add five more years onto my sentence? Yeah. Run it together. I mean, it's the same shit. Whatever.

Yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah, then you finally go to jail. I fucking, I knew a bunch of people

I went in the cell with because I fucking just left there fucking four months, four months ago. Wow. You know what I mean? So, so then you got to do with that.

It's like, it's like a fucking walk of shame, dude. I was high for two days, feeling good. Because you had that stash that you brought with you. I didn't even call anybody until I ran out

of pills because I mean it was super embarrassing for me too like after everything kind of wore off with the drugs and then you knew that it was probably all over the news too right oh yeah so it would come on I was in the pot every they got TVs in these pots I just forget my other memory

I go oh man I hope nobody fucking recognizes me I swear dude I was on the news for like three fucking days man yeah it was a it was a slow news in Seminole. Yeah, but you heard about it too.

Yeah, I heard about it too. Yeah, I was working, I was working, uh, construction, uh,

and I was like riding in a van to Sarasota in the back of a van with a bunch of other Mexican dudes. And it was like six in the morning and it was on Bubba the Love Sponge. And they said, Jake James. I'm like, no fucking way. I know.

I text Luke. And he's like, yep. Yep. Oh, that sucks. And mom called me. Well, no,

no, because, uh, because, uh, Bubba would do that a lot about the news. And I've listened to Bubba since I loved it Like fucking like Religiously

Yeah Yeah And then I'd always Shout out to Ned Yeah Yeah Only Ned is real Yeah he's the only real person

Yeah Yeah so then it's like Oh Bobbo's talking shit Well fuck you you fat piece of shit Yeah Yeah As soon as he can Hey look at you now

Bubba I'm on the radio And you ain't Yeah Right Oh Fuck Bow Wow

Wow Wow Bob wow Ow. You double-fisted blue jay on the back side of McGillacutty, you know, yeah. Yeah, so,

yeah, just dealing with that, being dope sick, like, I would trade my whole fucking trays for, like, juice. Your whole what?

My whole, like, you get fed, like three times a day. Oh, like shitty fucking meals. Yeah. I could not eat anything.

I would, for like a week, I would just drink juice. I would just trade my trays for, like, people's juice and stuff. You probably didn't even have an appetite. tight, huh? No, you're like, you're just like, shit in your brains out, not

hungry. Diaryia. Cold, hot, just just, fuck, dude. It's just like you're a little, it's like you're a little fucking baby. Yeah. Just curled up in a corner. How long did that last for? It took like, it took like a month. And I did that twice. And like, that's how

fucked up it was like the first time I went, like, went through that. Yeah. And then to get out and like, do the same shit. It's like, that just shows you like, I'm either really fucked up or, That shit's really fucked up. So the only time you went through, like, a true detox was, like, when you're in prison. Because I remember mom and dad put you through some, like, medically induced thing. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that was.

I don't know why that was either. Yeah, but it was. You put you in a coma for a couple of days and then you detox and you wake up. Yeah, it was weird, but. You don't feel that suffering. But, wow. You have to feel that suffering, dude. Oh, hell yeah, yeah.

Because, like, oh, that's when I tried. That's when I was selling them for, like, two months and then I started doing them again. I totally forgot about that. That's a really important thing I think to hit on is like if you don't feel that suffering like when you're trapped in that darkness that you've created around yourself then you don't really know the pain that you have to go through to feel it. So you go through it like they just sleepwalking pretty much and then you have no reason not to do it again because like oh well whatever I can just like numb myself to numbing myself. And it's just like this continuation of blocking out things that you have to go through to progress as a person. Yeah, no, you need pain to grow. I mean, if you don't feel pain.

You got to suffer the consequences. You got to suffer change. You don't learn, like, it's just like the whole fucking touching a stove thing, dude. Yeah. You got to feel pain to grow and get past shit. But that's how fucked up this place was, like, before we went, you have, like, you're meeting with these people. It's just all a fucking scam.

So they're like, they're like, oh, do you need pill? Like, they gave me a shit ton of fucking, like, oxycotton 80s before because I was like, oh, I'm sick. And they were like, oh, we'll write you a script. And then like in jail? No, no, no, this was like at this detox place. This was, this was, I don't even when that was.

They prescribed you Adderall too. Well, yeah. So you go through this detox thing. So it's like, it's like a day or whatever. So you wake up and you're not, you're not dope sick. I don't even know what the fuck it is. They give it like you some opiate blockers or whatever. And they like claim that like if you take opiates again, you'll die.

Oh, no, that's when Suboxin started coming out. Yeah. Because they put me out Suboxin or something. What's that? It's a, it's an opiate blocker. but people take them to get fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be to help you get off.

But if you take, like, opiate pills, they don't work. Yeah, so, like, you're taking Suboxin. If you take, like, if you do heroin or fucking oxies, you're not going to get high from it. Okay. Kind of deal. So it kind of, but it makes you from not being dope sick, too, kind of. Hmm.

You're still fucking not feeling good. Yeah, it's a weird thing. Yeah, so I go through this detox, and when I get out, they prescribe me, he prescribes me Adderall, Valium He prescribed a condo No, no no, no, he didn't give me an opiate It was like four or five different other pills

But with me, I'm like, I fucking love pills Right, so you're eating at all This is amazing Yeah, so then I mean But it didn't know where I think that lasted like a couple weeks Or something like that And it was pretty much

Oh no, because they told me They told me don't do coke Because you'll probably die I think I did Coke like four days after that and a lot of fucking coke. I was up in the fucking mutt room like just a bunch of coke all night. I remember one time mom went on like the family computer

and like the latest Google search was symptoms of coke overdose. She told you that? Yeah. And she showed me the needle that like she had found. And I was like, do you think Jake's doing drugs again? Like, what's not mine? Can I phone a friend?

Maybe Well, Jake might have diabetes What's his blood sugar like? Yeah, that was fucked man I mean, that's like what I'm saying There's so many fucking things that It's happened that I probably I don't remember

I just know we need a old kickstart Yeah Oh my God They make it very easy to be an addict In the state of Florida They do And you know like When you love somebody

You'll do anything you can to Make them not feel pain Yeah. Everybody's just like, and you know, it's like, it gets to the point where it's like, you're enabling this person, but you don't realize it because like, you don't know what this person wants. And anything that you respond to positively, they'll give to them because they're actually interacting with you in a way that isn't just like, fuck you, can I get money? Fuck you.

I don't need you in my life. I hate you. Everything I'm doing is because of you. And, you know, it pains you to see somebody suffering like that and you never truly understand the darkness that they feel. and you just want them to do well. And the best thing that you can do is just let them go through it and just be there when they need you. Yeah.

Yeah. I always think when I think about how suffering makes people better is like, they say like the native Indians would take their newborn babies and they would dunk them in the ice cold river when they're like literally like months old to build up their immune system. Speaking of good immune systems, I probably have not been sick in five years. I think everybody should go to prison.

for at least six years. Is that true? I do not get sick. Like, if I catch a cold, I'll feel it for like two hours and I'll get tired. And I'm like, oh, and I'll cough up something green. I'm good to go. That's it. It's like a single cough.

I could probably, if you took my blood right now, it's probably the cure for AIDS. And why you, just because you built up that. Just being so fucking dirty. Yeah. They're fucking shit holes, dude. Like, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

I do not get sick Jails in public transportation are the best way to build your immune system Yeah No self-respecting mosquito would fucking bite you Not at all So then So are you go to

County jail Yeah For those for that For the big charge So on the big charge So I'm in county They actually Can I take a piss real quick

Well these like One of those like keyboard warriors These like He's like 40 year old dude living in their fucking mom's basement was like giving her hard time because she put out like neon you know like Celtic Frost put out the neon like the cold lake and... Are we recording?

Yeah. I'd like to go on the record and say if you're involved with metal sucks at all in any way, shape, or form you can fuck off and die because you're not doing anything to progress heavy metal. Why? Why is that? Because they shit on anybody who's trying to do anything original, unique, and fun. Like Anna,

who's making all these badass t-shirts who's going out of her way, to keep these legacies alive and just because these big bands aren't profiting directly off of them then that means nobody can. Shout out to Forever Street Metal bitch. Forever Street. Is that our Instagram tag?

Yeah, that's her Instagram. She puts out shit a few times a year. Just follow her. She has rad shit. Different. What was the website? It's not. That you said, shoot that website. The Instagram tag.

I said fuck metal sucks. Metal sucks.com. dot net they can't even afford it.com they were the first ones to post the cannibal corpse video we did. Yeah they posted a comedy video back in the way. I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which one was that?

They were standing in front of Janice Landing and then we filmed them. Nick was in it. Yeah, Nick was that. Oh, where was I? Prison, probably. Fucking jail. That happens a lot.

Well, I'm not surprised. I don't remember. I was either really fucked up or in prison. I really only remember the last five years of my life. Oh, the way I like to think about it is I spent my first 24 years on retirement. Oh, no, actually 30. And then, so I got to pretty much work until I die now. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. But, but, but, yeah. Now you're in fucking prison and you, I mean, so how, when did you find out how long you're going to stay? You're in, you're in county. Oh, no, you're in the county now. So I get a rain. This was what I was talking about earlier.

Get a rain. I think I get a court date in like two months. You have a lawyer? No, okay. This is the part I was telling you. about so my my mom was like do you want a lawyer okay and um i was like no they got me like dead to right just oh i'm guilty there's no way there's no fighting it's right so i was like i'll just stick with a public defender like don't waste the money because it's a it's like a like the higher your

felony is like pretty much that's how much the lawyer is going to charge you that much more yeah it's kind of deal so i go to court the first day and usually like it's usually nothing it's usually a waste of They just set you another date. It's, yeah, pretty much. So you usually do that for like a few times before they come at you with an offer, like where the state will come with you, like plead guilty today and get this many years or do whatever probation and all that shit. So the first day I walk into court, I even told my parents, I was like, I even told everybody don't come because it's not, it's going to be a waste of time. So I go in there and they're like, uh, all right, Jake James, state of Florida versus Jake James, I list all my charges.

the state sits there and I mean, yeah, it looks super bad on fucking paper but they're like, they're going back to when I'm 16 for a smoking of tobacco citation. Wow. And like they're just trying to make me look like I fucking kill babies. Right, they paint you as bad as they can.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, so judge is like, all right, State, what do you want to do? Let's set this for trial next month on blah, blah, blah, date. Judge goes, we already have a trial set for the afternoon. State goes, oh, that's fine. For the afternoon of that day? For the day that they scheduled the... It's like a pretrial.

This was like... Okay, so they scheduled the trial for... They told me to take 15 years today. Or if I don't, they're scheduling trial for next month on this date. So that date, the judge says, we already have a trial set in the afternoon. State goes, oh, don't worry, this will take like a half an hour. And when he loses, we're giving him 35 years. So I'm like...

Shh. Oh. Okay. Oh, this sucks. Well, I guess we're setting it for trial. So I went back to the pod so I could use the phone. And I called my mom. I was like, we got to get a lawyer.

I'm going to be gone forever. You know what I mean? Because I'm 24 years old. I think 30 years old is a senior citizen. Right, right. You know what I mean? When you're younger. Yeah, when you're 24.

Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, dude. So we get the lawyer and it's, it was 60 about time I get out of here. Yeah. So it would mean, it was a good lawyer. So, um,

we we kept pushing it back they kept they kept wanting me to take 15 years like every month kind of when I went to court and I mean just just hearing the 15 years for so long yeah but there was a lot of shit that happened in between I I just I've tried probably okay so the max part of the jail and Pinellas is so like overcrowded that you sleep on these boats like new guys that would come in you sleep on these boats and they don't fucking take your beds all you fucking tough guys out there like that you just fucking. fucking do whatever. So I'm out in this day room. So it's like, it's all cells at night. So it's supposed to be everybody's in their cell at night from, I think like from 11 to 5 or something like that at night. Yeah. But I'm in the day room.

There's no room for anybody. There's people out in the day room. And I'm, I'm walking around. It's like, it's probably like one, two in the morning. I'm kind of walking around. I'm kind of pissed. The guards telling me to lay down. I keep telling them, fuck you.

I was like, come in here and make me fucking lay down pretty much. So they fucking. take me out of that cell and they put me in a bigger one and I do the same thing I'm like well I'm not fucking going in a cell fuck you I'm like come in here and make me fucking go in the cell yeah so but then I remember uh one of my buddies I grew up with over in Largo he uh he goes Jake get your dumb ass in this fucking cell so like I grew up with him like in middle school and shit like that so I'm like all right cool so uh another time like they because they just fuck with you man like they're pieces of shit dude they're yeah you know what i mean they just they

live some of them lived to fuck with you yeah you know what i mean so so like it's just like you kind of just have enough dude and it's like you're so stressed out like i'm gonna get am i gonna get like i'm not it's like it's hard dude it's hard to be like okay yeah i'm gonna here i'm gonna do 15 years yeah let me sign this fucking piece of paper you know what i mean it's it's fucking it's hard it's it's like it's really fuck especially when you're younger you know what i mean so uh this one time I tried to fight a cop he was he was acting like he wanted a fight and then I tried and then he's

kind of backed off hit the panic button they they have weapons don't they no they only have Mace they have Mace and taser guns so we'd act really fucking tough until they pull the tasers out where they throw the ones that fucking shoot you with the prongs you're like okay where do you want me lay down you know what I mean

kind of shit like that and then just shit like that I would go to confinement get out and then this one time they were because you have locked down at shift change so like in max there was there was two shifts it was 12 hours shifts so before a shift What do you mean?

Okay so when you say max what does that mean? The maximum security part of the jail Okay kind of deal so you weren't like in a prison No this was this was still county jail Okay got you so you're you're in county jail Until you get sentenced got it kind of deal So you're super fucking guilty until you're proven guilty Yeah exactly yeah you know what I mean

Like they take everything away Like, innocent until proven guilty is fucking bullshit. Oh, for sure. Yeah. They strip everything fucking away from you. Mm-hmm. And then so I just, that's another thing. And they treat you like fucking animals.

So that's how fucking motherfuckers act in there. Right. Like fucking just, like, just stripped down like fucking caveman. So, uh, shift change happens. They're supposed to count. They count make sure everybody's still there. That's supposed to be there. And then they leave.

But they close the cells and then that shut all the TVs, everything off. So you can't do shit. And it's usually like, 30, 40 minutes somewhere in there Yeah, in the county But these cock suckers kept us in there for like two hours So I fucking get everybody fucking riled up We're fucking we're throwing like

Because it's all Trying to explain how these fucking They're small fucking rooms like a day room And then you got the cells on the back So and it's all like plexiglass windows So they can see you So we start hanging sheets like over the bars To where they can't see us

And we're throwing We're just throwing like wet paper towel toilet paper fucking wads at the windows. We're just like chunking shit. And they get me and like two other dudes for like inciting a riot. So they put me on this shit called it's administrative segregation to where they could put you in confinement for however long they want. Yeah. With no.

Because usually if you get in trouble, you get it. It's like a fucking principal referral. Yeah. And then you go to the principal and they tell you, okay, well, whatever you do, you get 30 days down in, down in fucking confinement. Really? this shit, it's however long they fucking want to keep you down there. Wow. So you were in like a solitary.

Yeah. By yourself. Well, the way the county jail was, it was, it's like another big pod, but you're like, you're in a cell by yourself. Right. So it's just like you and a bunch of other fucking pieces of shit just like you fucking, try to fucking pass the time. And it sucks.

So they had, they brought me down and these fucking, these motherfuckers hated me. They, they handcuffed me. They put, like, they put all your shit in a trash bag, like all your. fucking commissary, where the fuck you have. These got, they squirted like all my shampoo all over all my shit in the bag, just kind of like shook it up. They, uh, the guy walks me down and the cell's open and there's fucking shit all over this fucking cell.

And I go, you're not fucking put me in there. And he goes, oh, we'll send somebody down here to clean it up. It's like, I don't, I know that's a fucking lie. You, you're not going to fucking trick me. I'm not going to that cell. So I got my feet like against the fucking doorway of the cell. Yeah. pushing back at him.

I'm not going fucking in here, dude. Like, I'm ready to fucking, I'm not going in this fucking cell. You're going to fight for him. And he's trying to, he's trying to, like, get me to come in there just so he's throw me in a fucking cell full of shit. Right.

Little shit. Like, there's shit all over the walls, all over everything. That, because there's a lot of crazy motherfuckers. Yeah. Right. And that's a whole other fucking story. That's so fucking gross, dude.

Yeah. So he finally gives in. It puts me in a normal cell. So, I mean, as you're just like, Joan in this fucking confinement. You're like, okay, this is cool. You're pretty much just like jerking off and doing push-ups.

That's it. That's it. That's it. And do some lunges. For how long? Yeah. How long do they give you in there? I was in there.

Well, that was like towards the end right before I got sent. So I think I did a little over a month in there. Okay. And then, but that, I mean, that shit's gross. So, like, they fucking whip up shit with piss in a cup. And like, if you're fucking the dude like next to you doesn't, it gets mad at you for some fucking reason. Because I remember.

one day he was I saw somebody doing that and then I saw him see him throw this cup and this guy's cell like because you can kind of because it's kind of like an L kind of deal so like this guy in this cell got mad at this guy yeah yeah yeah seen him throw it like that and I was like that's weird why would he throw coffee in his cell but then all of a sudden you like you fucking you smell it it hits you oh yeah and then they send these motherfuckers over like bot buckets like other inmates are called trustees yeah like the fucking good dudes yeah whatever so um And then they just dump like hot soapy water. So the fucking shitty soap water just runs into everybody's cell.

So you're just like hot. Oh my God. You're just like on top of your bunk just like, man, I should have made way better life choices. That was probably the first time in my life where I was like, you know what? Now I know exactly what my parents were talking about. At that moment, it all sunk in. So my last. That's the river of shitty soap.

So I, like, talk to my lawyer. I was supposed to go get sentenced this day. So when you have a court date, they get you up at like three in the morning. Yeah. It's this big fucking ordeal because the jail, you like go underground and then you go into the courthouse kind of deal. Yeah. So I'm like, ready to go, ready to get sentenced. And then like nothing.

I'm like, God, I'm like, this is fucking weird. I even woke up fucking at like 3 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, because I was kind of excited to get the fuck out of county jail because that's all you hear in county jail. Prison is way fucking better. Oh, really? Everybody wants to just get out of there. It totally is, though. Really?

Yeah, I mean, if I had to do the two, I would totally do prison again. I've had to pick. Yeah, if I had to do one or the other, I would definitely do prison. But, but yeah, so I'm sitting there and it's like 11 o'clock. I'm like, what the fuck? And you're in confinement so you can't call anybody. You can't talk to anybody. And finally they come and they put me in a room with my lawyer.

And he's like, what the fuck did you do? I go, what? I didn't do nothing. I just been fucking sitting down in confinement, like rotting away. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, but some guard, like, I guess they must have put me on some, like, weird, like, like, they had me, like, kind of red flag to where I'm a threat to where they had to, like, bring me out by myself, kind of like, not like Hannibal Lecter, like, nothing like that, but like, I had to be moved by myself. Yeah, no, I know. It was like, yeah, but I look at that.

They wheel you out on the thing. Yeah, but I looked, I looked fucking insane when I got fucking sentence. I bet. I know I did. I was just like, I haven't shaved, like, hair's fucking. all crazy and then my lawyer's like well this is the best we can do we uh they went down to seven years and i was like let's fucking do it because like you just you've heard 35 years then 15 years for so long right that you're like that's that's that's that whole fucking game they call it the boo

like everybody all the inmates they call it the boo game yeah because that's like they 35 years 15 years 15 years and they're in there for months like almost a whole year of hearing you're getting 15 years and then they finally like seven years. Damn, that sounds fucking awesome. Yeah. And that's what they do, it's like a fucking gift wrap because it's like a present on Christmas morning. Yeah, and it's,

I mean, it's, it's fucked. I mean, that's, it's all a game, man, this shit's all a joke.

Yeah, the justice system. They beat you down psychologically and they hit those numbers. That's what it is, man. And then it was like, you know, 35,

35, 35, 35, 15, 15, 15, 15, and then they hit you with that, which is still way too high. And they shouldn't even give you that in the first place. And they should, like, actually address the problems that got you in there in the first place.

Yeah. The people rubbing shit on the walls in there, they don't need to be in a prison with all these people who are in there for, like, drug abuses. Those people need attention. They need help to understand why they're doing that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but they jailed, they jailed, like, people like that, like, that don't need to be fucking jailed. But a lot of people, I don't know. It's fuck. You should just kill child molesters and let everything else is fine.

Legalize everything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. You know what I mean? So after you got the seven years, is what happened next. Um, so you wait. So I had to go back to the confinement and then I'm just,

I'm, I'm actually really fucking excited now. Okay. It sucks. I got seven years. You get to go somewhere new. I can go. It's a new chapter.

I can get, I finally know what I got to do. I can fucking, I can walk around outside. I can fucking smoke cigarette. I mean, that's all I'm worried about. I'm like,

I can fucking smoke cigarettes and walk around outside. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Because you're fucking, you're inside all the time. There's no windows or outside time and counting. I mean,

there's windows like this. big but it I didn't like looking outside because it was so close to home that it kind of it like hurt looking outside yeah you know what I mean right now you know that 49th street yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like right there yeah so I mean that kind of sucks and then you can't you get a little more freedom being up the road like that than being in the county jail so I remember so you go to these uh so they uh it usually takes a few like a three four days because they do a couple runs a week to go to prison. So I went to Orlando and if you have like any self-conscious, anything about you, that shit

is gone, dude. So you're in the, you're in the van. You go to Orlando. They're just pretty much beating you down, treating you like a piece of shit, taking away everything you are. Just you fucking, you're outside with a chain link fence in a horseshoe and there's probably like, I don't know, I'd say 30 to 40 dudes standing there, butt-ass naked.

Just like, what's up, guy? You know what I mean? Really? And, like, everybody's kind of been up all night because you know the nights they do prison runs. Yeah. And you're kind of like, I hope this is it, or I don't, this is going to fucking suck.

Because I had no idea. I mean, you fucking watch TV shows and shit like that. You don't know what to expect. Right. Kind of deal. And I didn't really know anybody. My uncle was the only one I went to prison with, but I didn't really fucking talk to him about it.

Because he found God and all that good shit. Right. The only thing you know about prison. is don't drop the soap, but beyond that. Yeah, yeah. So you get in this thing and they just call you all kinds of names

should you like a piece of shit. You can't do nothing. I mean, you can't. You could, but it's fucking pointless, dude, because they'll beat the fuck out of you. You know what I mean? Like, they'll handcuff you and just beat the fuck out of you. So you do that.

You get naked, you get strip searched, and you just wait and you, with your property, you got to get your fucking, everybody gets their fucking head and face shaved. with like the same fucking nasty fucking clippers. You get your ID, just fucking everybody's calling you an idiot,

go through medical, you do all this fucking shit. And then I remember finally get to go to my fucking dorm. And I was just like, I remember laying in my bunk on the top bunk and just looking at the fucking ceiling, be like, oh, all right,

there we go. You know what I mean? Here's the start. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like, seven years. So I had eight months in. So I figured with the gain time,

I kind of, I was betting on my game time. I never would by the whole thing. So I was like, all right, we got over five years to go. I'm like, okay.

Five years. So they call, I remember I just made it in time for like, for chow and I'm like, I don't want to go. I'm like, I was just kind of like, just laid down and like this dude,

this dude I ended up running into it at a couple of camps I was at. He's like, come on, motherfucker. They got yard bird tonight. I'm like, fucks that. Yard bird.

Yard bird. It's, they had chicken like a couple of times. Yeah. Something like that, right? So I'm like, oh, wait, what? Chicken.

So when I first went in, they had actually, like, they had real food. Like, because you go from county. County is just like, it's like Alpo, man. It's so bad. What is that? The food and, like, dog food. Okay. It's so fucking bad.

So by the time I get in, it was like six months of, like, real food. Like, food was actually, it was decent. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then, like, every time a fucking new governor comes in, I, uh, fuck those boys. It's not a fucking country club. So we got all soy products. All real food.

Soy products. Everything was fucking soy. Right. Yeah, because it was cheaper. But dudes aren't supposed to eat soy because it's a fucking, it's an estrogen. Right, right. It gives you like tits. Well, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I got two of those. Thanks for it to DOC. They took one out. They told me. They are nice. They told me to go fuck myself on the second one. But yeah.

Wow. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it's just miserable. They just make it miserable. kind of just bullshit, man. That's why, I don't know, we would just do, like, the dumbest shit.

I mean, I just kind of would act like I am now, but... Did you get all your tattoos when you were in there? Not all of them. I probably had, like... Because you're, like, seven or... You're completely covered. I probably had, like, seven or eight when I went in. But there's not a lot to do.

I played... I played poker all the time. I read, I worked out, and I got tattoos. Okay. I just kind of kept to myself. At what point did you start, like, getting close to loop? Um, it was a couple years in probably, right? It was a couple of years in.

And what made you want to start talking to him? What made you want to? Yeah, I was fucking Jesus Christ. Now that he's gone, I miss him. You want what you can't have. Is that what it was? Yeah. Right, well, it's your brother.

I need to prepare for this. Do you guys want a shotgun of beer? Shotgun. Is it that time? Yeah, let's do it. Oh, fuck. It's a good segue. Mm-hmm.

And then we'll have to touch on the shotgun legend that you are as well. I heard that you don't even spill a drop. Oh, fuck, I just cracked it. You fucking dumb ass. You better choke that one and then shotgun. Oh, dead head. You want a shotgun one, Katie? What is it?

You're breaking the third wall. Is that what that is? Katie's like, this is like a fucking, it's like an episode of locked up abroad for her. She's like, holy shit. Katie's like, get me the fuck out of it. I totally regret coming tonight. Jake is the shotgun master. Oh,

oh, Jesus. Oh, fuck, it's everywhere. Oh, fuck. Oh, it's your first time, boys? Oh,

mother trucker. A, poke mine. Just poke it for me. Here, take this one. All right, fair enough. Just poke it. Poke it up. You got it,

because you got the nice triangle. You got it all fans. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. Not as much as. You got the ang. old daddy's got his upside down fucking. I know what he's doing over there. Sorry, though. I got half mine's gone. So I got a start.

Yeah, great. It's a good start. Hey, have you seen the one videos where they, you're like, so say me and Shane are doing it or just saying they're doing it and then. Oh, and they blow it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of like you pop it and you they aim it at you and blow the whole beer in your face. Oh my God. What the fuck?

You guys ever seen that? Yeah, yeah. I've seen them. We're not doing it. You want to do it? No, no, no. I mean, I always want to do that. I mean, I was wondering. I got that, boys. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. If we can only have the macho man for this one. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. We should have anthems. Mature man, nasty savage.

Oh, my goodness. This whole room's going to fucking reek like beer. Forest is going to be pissed. It smells like my underwear. He gets mad at me. He's like, I don't even smoke cigarettes in here. He's the guy that owns the building, the rest of the building. God, I know some fucking weirdo named Forest.

He's a little bit of real point. It's probably. Is it your age? Yeah. Jewish with sideburns. Red hair? No, black hair. Oh.

No, this dude was like super cooking, so I doubt he did. Oh, no. It's definitely not him. Got another one crack ready to go. All right. Now I need a real big beer. Now I need a sipper. need a casual one from time

No I need something to just We forgot to hit the bow wow Oh wow Oh Hey Bubba can we use that You ain't doing shit no more Bubba please don't copyright strike me Oh yeah

Where did we leave on? We're about to talk about how me and you started talking Oh yeah, how'd you guys Well, he would come up to see me But I don't know that Even before that How long was it go by To your first visit

Well I went in Solomon County And then like we tried to hang out Like in between And you know like You can't You can't be around people that are like wrapped up And stuff like that And you know

You try to spend holidays together He comes up, he's fucked up He doesn't know what he's doing And it's like you know You just have to understand that And give him a space And then I don't know

I remember exactly where I was when my mom called me. Just like when you see a train coming down the tracks, you don't go stand in front of it. Yeah. Right, right. I'm not going to stop a train there.

Stop what you're doing. You're just wait as it goes by. Yeah. It's like running into the middle of traffic and trying to stop every car that's going by you. It's useless. You're just going to destroy yourself. So you just got to accept the things

that are going to go past you, and it's like, hopefully we'll meet up again one day. And, you know, time goes by, and I'm living my life. And I remember when my mom called me in, there was a time in my life where every time my mom called me I expected her to tell me that your brother's dead

and it was like a solid like four years anytime I'd get a call from her whether it was good or bad I always expected the first words out of him out to be like Jake's dead yeah but I can't die so he can't die he's a fucking cockroach no I should have been dead like a million times should have been dead and I had accepted that it's like I just accepted the fact Like I had a brother growing up, but I never had a brother growing up. And it was just somebody that was sharing this experience of me, living in the same space, coming from the same space.

But we never really like had a connection because we were always just so different. And when he went to, I was going to make jail or prison? Prison. When like you go away and like where you were at for like a couple of years. It's prison. Yeah, yeah. So when he went to prison, like some time had passed. And I think I just like.

asked for your address or whatever. And I just started writing you letters. Yeah, yeah. No, it was awesome because, uh, because it's like, you've been fucked up, but like people you used to hang out with, like you didn't do nothing wrong to them.

But they see how fucked up you are. So everybody starts backing away. They cut you off. Yeah, everybody just starts back in a way. And then that's when you start like falling back toward all these other, like you're doing the same shit.

Like, uh, it's like the fucking junkie scene or something. You know what I mean? Just kind of, you fall back into that crowd because nobody gives the fuck what you do. They don't care if you're dead or alive.

Right. You know what I mean? And all that shit falls away and like, and I kind of saw the opportunity to have the brother that I always wanted. And I remember very vividly, I got this Simpsons anatomy book that teaches you how to draw every character from the Simpsons. And I remember drawing this like picture of Homer and then just like writing the note in it about like, hey, remember him when like,

we used to like watch the Simpsons and like e-checkers and like, hang out and like all this shit. I really miss you. I would make him actually eat checker pieces. Not, not checkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't eat them. He, like, shoved him up my ass and would, like, laugh about it. Yeah.

And then throw me off the roof into the pool. But no, like, I forgot. You ever bug chuged checkers? I love when a big Buford's just riding up there. The big Buford. You mean, when you, like, to lay down, like, that little rug, the checkers rug and the fucking pieces are like that,

that big. All, all. The cracker barrel checkers. Yeah, the cracker barrel. The golf tees. We just fucking to tell you. We just shit all over his heartfelt story. My bad.

We shouldn't shock him. I'm doing it my whole life. This is the problem with our relationship. You're drawing Homer Simpson. You're drawing Homer Simpson. No, it's like any time I try to like talk, he just is an idiot. And then we're both idiots at heart. So it just like spirals

And we're just like two turds in a toilet Sharing this experience Getting flushed down the drain It's a drain called life Just drain called life The same fate waits us all But you know I'm glad to be sharing the same toilet

With everybody sitting at this table And the person working the camera Who didn't want a shotgun a beer Not to call anybody out No but it's awesome Because that's what I was saying Like you kind of lose touch With people you hung out with

and like real friends. Yeah. They back off. And it's not because they don't like you. It's just because you're fucking out of control. And like me, I'm like, I'm mad. Like, why is everybody backing off? And then I'm like, well, I'm just going to go fucking harder.

Fuck these motherfuckers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Fuck these nerds. Right. Fucking nerds. So, I mean, that's just basically how it was. So, I mean, like, you're sitting in there and like you don't hear from nobody.

And then you're like, you're like, you're sober too. And you're like, but you don't, you don't, you don't like really get it. You know what I mean? Yeah. like what was that when you what was that explain what it was like after it had been exescent a time when you got arrested spent all the time in county then you finally got transferred to prison yeah at that point what was your like what were you thinking about like the drug addiction and the pills like was that how far behind you was that at that oh it wasn't that far behind

me like I was still like you just kind of blame everything else but like the what really happened you know what I mean you're just grasping on the shit to blame it on okay kind And that's kind of what I was talking about, like, after like three years, like, I remember talking to my mom and she was like, you're totally, she came to visit me and she's like, you're totally different. Like, she could tell. After a couple years? After, like, three years. Yeah. Yeah.

Because it's kind of cliche to say, but like a fog lifted off my brain to where I thought, like, I'm like, oh, okay. Because it's like, I'm not, I'm not stupid. I just did a lot of stupid shit. Yeah. Yeah. So, right. but I mean that was cool hearing her say that and just kind of reconnecting with my brother you know what I mean because I was a huge fucking dick yeah massive yeah so I mean and then it's

like you feel bad you feel bad like shit you've done to people that care about you yeah and that you'd always push away and then you know what I mean just just kind of shit like that so you deal with a lot it was harder mentally than anything like physically nobody fucked with me I got in one fight. One fight. One fight. When I, okay, so when you're, when you're, when you're doing the whole DOC tour of Florida, you, uh, people transfer all the time. So, uh, anywhere you go, like, if you do something really fucked up at some camp, there's always going to be somebody at your next camp that knows what you did.

Yeah. So I was playing poker. And it's like, you shouldn't really be gambling while you're locked up if you're trying to stay out of trouble and shit like that. Because it was pretty much, it was pretty much me and like a bunch of, like, a bunch of, of black dudes fucking gambling all the time. And, uh, like, they call me the great white hope. Because like, what? They call me the great white hope because like, I'm not fucking, a lot of, a lot of white

dudes that go into prison are fucking lame and green as fuck. Like, our fucking big time fucking pussies. Yeah. And, um, like, I wasn't. And I fucking knew how to gamble and I'm not fucking stupid. So I remember one time we're gambling. It's just with this, this big ass fucking, this big ass dude from Tampa. He calls me a bitch one day at the poker table.

He said, go get some more money, broke bitch. And I told him, don't you fuck. I said, don't call me a fucking bitch. And he goes, all right, bitch. I took all the chips I had and I threw it in his face. And you tell him, get there. And that's like a part of the pod to where they can't see you fight, where the guard station can't really see you.

So I'm like, all right, well, I thought I was going to get the shit beat out of me. So I was like, all right. This dude was that big? Oh, yeah, he was bigger than me. but he was just a, he's a big fucking goofball anyway. But we ended up being friends, like, after him being at different camps and all that. So, uh, so we were fighting. We were lined up and you, like, you fight, like, down this wall.

So he, like, kind of kept running from me, like, backing up. And it was like, I just want to fight and just get this fucking shit over with. So, uh, I ended up, like, hitting him one good time. And he was like, oh, I'm done. I'll go, all right. Because that's how I am, like, fighting with me is win or lose. I'm cool after, man. Like, I got it off my chest.

Right. Like, I don't, I don't get a fuck if I get beat up. Because if you have not getting beat up in your life, you have not fought anybody worth fighting. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, uh, but after that, I had to stay up for three fucking. That was a good quote. That was a good quote.

Yeah. No, it's the truth. Burn that on the side of it. If you have, if you have never gotten beat up in your life. That's an epic quote. You have never fought anybody worth fighting because you're picking and choosing weak people to fight. Right. And then that's, that's the whole prison thing is.

people pray on the week. Yeah. It's basically what I'm getting into. So, but after that, I mean, it's this, he was from, the guy I fought was from Tampa. And there happened to be like, like, four other dudes from his neighborhood in there. And for him to stop against a white boy, it was a, that was a big whole fucking thing. So I had to stay up for three days straight. So I did not get my fucking head bashed in with a lock.

Just to watch your back. Well, no, because a lot of times, because people, it's, it's, people are, fucking are, people are scared. They act tough, but they're fucking scared. Yeah. So I've, I've waking up, I've waking up in the middle of the night when I was in there. And people take their belt and put on, because we have like the school master locks to put on our, our drawers to like our commissary and all that. So, but like, like, I've waking up, I'm waking up at three in the morning to, like, a dude next to me is getting his fucking head bashed in with the fucking lock.

Yeah. So, but it's like, all I'm hearing before, like, like, it's all lights out. It's probably like midnight now. And then I'm just like, oh, you let that cracker get over on you. You let that cracker get over on you. And I'm like, okay, cool. Well, I'm going to be up for three fucking days. So I'm like trying to read books.

And I'm just like, I'm pretty much just like eating instant coffee trying to like stay awake. And it's just like, oh, God. It's like the worst feeling. Because you're just waiting for somebody to come at you or. Right. You're what you're anticipating something. Because a lot of people, I would say, fucking 90% of people in prison are fucking Pussies.

Yeah. That they would wait and sneak up on you or wait to your sleep in. When you say this guy below, you got his head bashed in. Like, yeah. Did he survive? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Were people getting killed? Like, um, I never saw anybody get killed.

Yeah. I mean, I've seen, okay, so like, shit, you see in the movies and on the shows, it happens. It doesn't happen every fucking day. Right, right. Like, I've been, I've been 20 feet away from like, these guys, they were chasing this guy around. And he, when he's, when he's, swung. I was like, wow, he fucking hits like a bitch. You're right?

But I'm like, why the fuck's he punching him like that? And I go, oh my God, he's stabbing him. So these two guys, these two guys are stabbing the fuck out of this dude, but I'm like, those guys hit like fucking pussy. Right? But I'm like, oh shit, they're fucking stabbing them. And I'm like 20 feet away.

But it's like, your fucking heart's racing, dude, because you're like, holy fuck, man. And like, we wear light blue like canvas uniforms kind of deal. And it's just like there's no blue left. It's all red. It's all red. Oh my.

So like I've seen that happen. Yeah, it's just like I've seen all, everything like you would see in a show or a movie. Yeah. But it doesn't happen all the time. Okay. Like that, yeah. Because most people are just trying to chill. I mean, like you got a little bit of freedom.

Yeah. You're not really trying to fuck that up and go to confinement to where. Right. Because you are always fucking hungry in there. And like being able to hit that commissary window is like. It's everything. That is everything. If they ever took commissary out of prison,

I would have killed everybody and then killed myself. I'm over it. How dare you take my honey buns? My honey buns and my getting steak coffee. Dude, I mean, that's all you got, I mean,

you got to think about it. Like people were getting fights over a fucking Raymond noodle suit. Oh, yeah. And it's, it doesn't matter. It's the principal. Like,

that's the fucking principle. Yeah. But it's like, it's just hard to get down to that penny. Yeah. It's a goddamn. soup man it's like do you really want to fucking die over a fucking

50 cent soup I know man I know it's it's fucked man like it's like I try to explain it people are like what's it like what's it like I'm like it's really gay and just like a whole other like subculture of a subculture really gay really gay yeah why

there's a lot of gay shit that goes on there's a yeah they do that a lot of people think that uh if you drop the soap real if you're if you're gay for this day it's okay because you're not on the street like I've heard conversations like that and it's just yeah oh the soap dropping

if you're gay for the stay gay for the stay yeah some people are they're okay with being gay in prison oh I've I've also heard oh oh that's what I say leave it in the game I've also heard okay this is a funny one this is a real funny one so I'm laying I was at Polk

I probably had like two years left and you know like sometimes you're just fucking over everybody you can never get away from anybody Yeah, I'm in a two-man cell I'm laying on my bunk And the next cell next to me There's these three guys talking there

He's like How am I gay motherfucker? He was sucking my dick He's a fucking cock sucker And then And then like the same conversation It's like No man he's gay

He's like he's gay gay He's like gay on the street gay Like that's like Kind of the mentality I don't know It's just really weird I don't get I don't got no problem.

I mean, that just sounds kind of fuck to even say, but it's just like, this shit, the shit people like, um. It's the things that you tell yourself to get through what you need to get through because. Yeah, just like the, the reasoning people have for doing shit in there. Right. It's insane. It doesn't make sense to. It doesn't make sense to people like that are outside. Well, even for me, it didn't really make sense because I was like, just logical, like, logically thinking about stuff was just like.

Yeah. Right. You got your dick stuck by a dude. Well, I'm not even talking. Yeah, but that aside, but just like the way, I mean, but a lot of people just, I mean, that's just like a mental thing.

Like you're, you are traumatized, but nobody would admit that in there. Yeah. About, about that. But people, you know, your mind,

your mind makes, helps you get through it. And so people just do weird fucking shit while they're in there. Yeah. You know what I mean? You come up with the stories that you need to tell yourself

to justify to cope with it. Your actions in there. And you're coping. Yeah. Because you have nothing else. to do in there. And there's no human affection other than the people that are around you.

And if that's what you need to do to get by, then that's what you need to do to get by. Yeah, but that's, that's all that. But yeah, that's all good. But it's like people were just, just like the reasonings. Like, I would hear people reason about just every,

a little aspect of the whole. Right. They're coming up with a reason for everything. For everything. Is there one thing that happened in the entire, like one part of the entire experience that just sticks out to is like, that was the most fucked up thing ever. really fucking bothered me was um okay when i first went in and like child molesters and

shit florida is so fucked um i would fuck with these dudes so bad people would i i remember getting on top of this one dude he was in his bed like i would call mom and ask because people like oh he's a child he's a chomo or whatever so but i would mo yeah jo mo so i wouldn't know that for sure i would call my mom i would call my mom a lot of times even if i was hanging out with somebody I'd call my mom telling me to look them up Okay Like so I know what they're in there for Oh okay

So because it's like I don't not want to be fucking hanging out With the child molester Right right right Somebody like did some really fucked up Like we all did fucked up shit But for you to like do that to a kid Was it easy to kind of figure out who did what

I mean some people were And then I remember this one dude I got on he was he was taking a nap I just went on top of him Put my elbow in his throat He woke up And then I feel it had a big old mouth full of skull and I fucking spit it all in his face

and then I slapped him I got up he just looked at me it was just like well this fucking sucks he didn't even fucking say nothing you know what I mean because it's like half those motherfuckers know

man like it's fucked and like people a couple of times when I would do it people would like try to fight me but it's not like they would just talk shit it's not actually trying to fight me kind of deal like that

but just for you to stick up for somebody like that I don't know I know maybe they didn't know he was a chum. Oh, they all knew. They did. Everybody. Everybody knows. But a lot of people will some people will stick up for those guys because if they buy them like commissary and she'll like that.

But you're kind of like selling your soul to the devil. So it's like, I don't know. I just don't get it. I just don't get it. You could. Yeah. I don't know. So you would call your mom and be like, look this guy up. Look up. Who's in jail? And she would know what he's in Florida? She would look him up. Oh, no. You can, yeah. You can go online. call her. Yeah. I would,

yeah, and she would do that for you, though, I'm saying. Yeah, because there was a, there was a few people I would,

I got to, like, hung out with, you know what I mean? Yeah. I was fucking fresh beer. Shout out to mom for fucking looking it up.

Well, you kind of like have to, man, but I don't, right. But Florida is, Florida is fucked, dude,

like in every aspect of Florida, not even, not the prison, but Florida is a hellhole. But for every aspect of Florida, it is, it's, nobody gives a fuck about anything.

Nobody, nobody's like, no morals. There's few people who are true to what they do who really give a fuck. And I think it's just from everybody moving here. There's no background.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you go to New York or you go to Pennsylvania. Like there's generations and generations of people. Yeah, right. Exactly. You know what I mean? But like here, it's like,

no one's from here. It's just a mixed breed of everybody. And I don't know. There's just a bunch of fucked up, Florida idiots. I know. It's a bunch. This is a bunch of rich, fucking white people fucking up this whole fucking state. A bunch of rich white people and a bunch of fucking addicts.

Making all the laws. Yeah. The thing that always fucked with me the most about, like, how you explained your experience was, you know, it's a little detail. And, like, when you talk about it, like, it doesn't really seem like a big deal. But the fact that there's no air conditioning in any of the prisons. Oh, yeah. And for her is so fucked up. That is.

Oh, no. Summertime, dude, like, there is no sleep in life. That's oppressive. Like you take You take Like you go to sleep at night You're probably waking up five, six times Like just drenched and sweat

Like you piss the bed Like that's how fucking wet it is Wow Because you're sleeping on plastic fucking mats It's They have windows But it's that big But they put a piece of metal over it

And there's probably like 10 or 15 drill holes Little drill holes like for air So you're barely getting in here But we would throw up in the window What we call the AC you take a couple forks in the trash bag and I don't know how the fucking this works

but you would rig it out to where it would catch wind and blow it to your bonk To your bunk Right there's some genius shit that happens There is real life fucking McGivers Like fucking yeah genius shit Yeah it's amazing like But I mean that's the whole thing it's

I remember my dad coming to see me and he's like How do you do this? And I was like You're either going to do it or you're going to lay down. You know what I mean? Like, if you get thrown into something, you're going to do it.

And you're going to figure out how to make it the easiest way possible. So it was just, yeah, that's crazy. There's a lot of fun of it. You didn't have a choice. Yeah,

you had no choice. Just do it. I'm just here. Fuck it. I'm just here for the ride in the honey buns, man. For the honey buns,

baby. I see frosted honey buns or just plain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, baby. Come home. That was like, I was like when I got out

I was in like the best shape of my life and I was all dude I probably ate five ramen noodles soups a day when you got out or when you went No when I was in there the whole time like I probably ate five ramen noodles soups a day like at least two honey buns Just eating total shit

And you were still in the best shape Yeah it's it's fucking nuts man I remember when he got out on work release And like we were trying to work out together And he's like smoking cigarettes Drinking instant coffee and like eating like Oh yeah wait wait wait wait wait Wait wait wait

You were like doing pushups with my mom on his back and like, motherfucker, keep up. You guys were trying to work out together when he got out? No, we were working out together. How did that go? Hey, man, do you want to work out? It was just a weird for us to bond. Where were you working out at?

Oh, his, that place fusion that he was living at in St. Pete. Oh, before that. Was it? At the house? Oh, yeah. My mom and dad's house. Okay. So you guys were working out like in the driveway or something?

It was like working out in the driveway. He was showing me like what they used to do like to pass the time and workout. It was just like all squats, push-ups. Yeah. And just like lifting random shit. Like all the different kinds of push-ups, I always thought were like really interesting because you got like your basic ones. Yeah. And you got the ones like where you crawl. And it's like, okay, we're going to crawl all the way down the driveway and then do push-ups. And then you're just like kind of doing this

army crawl, but you're push-uping too. It's fucking hard. And the whole time you're smoking, dipping and drinking and some coffee. Oh yeah. Dude, I would be on the wreckyard, do it on the pull-up bar with a mouthful of skull into like a top roll-up cigarette smoking it. Doing pull-ups. I mean, that's how you had to add resistance. Yeah. Yeah.

Didn't you say at one point they banned cigarettes? Yeah, they took the cigarettes out. I forgot what year that was, but they gave us a year notice. And so we're like, oh, it's a year. But then that shit went by so fast. Right. Like nothing. The next day.

So it was probably like, it was like October one year. And then we saw like flyers everywhere. It was like, wait, what? It's like, that's pretty much. All you have. You know what I mean? Right. It's like a little bit of freedom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were going to ban it the next October that year, but they were going to stop selling them this September before. So, like, the whole year goes by, and then at the end, everybody's fucking scrambling. Everyone's really crazy. And buying them on the fucking yard. So they stopped selling them.

And then, I mean, the price of a $5 pack of top went up to, like, 200. It just kept doubling, like, it went to 10, then 20, then 40. And then it got all the way up to like 250 bucks I heard some of the reception centers When the people first come in Yeah They were going for like five six hundred dollars For one fucking like small ass pack of top

Wow So that was that made it easy to quit smoking Yeah I like to eat I like to eat I don't like smoking fucking $40 Like pin joints of tobacco Yeah you know what I mean so

Now what about what about when you finally got out like, what was it like, skinny viny? You remember what it was like leading up to your lease? Like, like leading up. I was at, I was at work release.

Oh, okay, this is another really fucked up story. Oh, yeah. So you got to go to a camp after that or what? I, I went to work release at the Largo Goodwill. It was right across street from Diamond Dolls on 19.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, but before I got there. Fuck. Is that by a celebration station? It is at right there. Yeah,

it's close to there. It's close. Not that close, though. Not close enough. So, So I go to the Goodwill. It's shut down now, but I went there.

But before I got there, there was a motherfucker that raped some chick at fucking Diamond Dolls that was out there. And then another guy killed, it was at least one or two people and then set the house on fire. Damn. That was at work release. I mean, work release is you have less than a fucking year left. Right. You know what I mean?

Right. And what do they make you do for work? Oh, you go get a regular job. You just go out. And you're living in like a halfway house or? No, I mean, it's. or they just take you out of... It's pretty much like a halfway house

but it's still DOC. It's not like an actual prison. Okay. It's like super low custody. So, but you don't have that much fucking time left. And these fucking stupid cock suckers did like the dumbest shit.

And I don't know. It was that whole thing of like doing that much time. Like that was the first time like me really doing time. So being that gone that long, I'm like, I can definitely wait. Yeah, I'm good.

To go do like all this dumb shit, you know what I mean? Yeah. So when you rode your bike, like how far to go to work? I worked two jobs, so I would leave the center at like five in the morning and ride my bike from there to Indian Rocks Beach. Holy. So I was doing like, I was doing like 22 miles a day, but I would leave the center at five. Where was the center? The center was right across the street from Diamond Dolls.

On 19. That's far as fuck. That's a far-ass bike ride. That's a far-ass bike ride. That's a far-d-ride. Yeah, that's a far-d-d-d-old. I don't even drive. that far, honestly.

I would get back by like midnight, 11 o'clock or midnight. And I think it was 11, I'd get back because that was like our curfew. So then I would get like two hours of sleep and I would just keep doing it. But I was so fucking pumped just to be able to just ride, you're feeling a little bit of freedom

and shit, right? Just riding my bike, working, and just kind of feeling normal. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just kind of being like a normal person. In the world. I guess.

Well, not really normal, but. Right. Yeah. You know what I mean? But you're not in prison anymore. But I mean, I'm riding a bike. If you're riding your bike in Florida,

then there's something wrong with you. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's like the people on the bus that take a bus in Florida. You're like, God,

he's a fucking drug addict or you got to put a DUI. Yeah, he's no license. I mean, that's fucking normal. That's what you do. But down here, you just,

you look down at everybody that's not fucking riding a car. You see somebody walking on the side or like, D-U-I definitely. Yeah, no, so, I mean,

I love that, But so but that shit came to, they, after those guys did that shit, I remember one morning, woke up at like three in the morning, all the, like, it was like the, it was like the riot squad. I forgot the fuck their name was in there for prison. They all came in all of our doors, said, all right, motherfuckers, pack your shit. You're going back to prison. I was like, no.

Oh, God. So I had to go back to one of the, that reception camp I first went to. Went to that whole fucking shit again. Back in Polk. No, that was Orlando. I was in Orlando. Yeah, so I had to go through, like, that whole shit when I first went back to prison. And then so it was like, was that like two or three months?

Yeah. Then you went to Polk. Yeah, then we went to. No, that was after Polk. Oh, yeah. They put you back in it. Were you ever in Coleman? No.

Okay. Coleman. Oh, no, that's federal. That's federal. That's federal. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, Coleman's federal camp.

That's, uh, yeah, you got to do like all. lot real big shit to do that yeah that's like uh that's like the Harvard for criminals remember uh that's where matt cox was right yeah but you remember uh what about mike oxpick was he there too he was definitely there I heard about him

no but uh Dave Clark you remember him yeah remember Dave Clark he's in Coleman right now still Oh, yeah. Was that one of your buddies? His get out is 2037. He's done.

But he loves God. Yeah, he's super religious. That is really all that matters, especially in Florida. So you didn't find Jesus in prison? Jesus actually. Actually, we don't get along. You and Jesus? Well, yeah, I mean, we really don't get along because all these Christians out here,

it's, oh, they're always talking about forgiveness. Yeah. But since I've been out of prison, it's every time I try to. go do something, it's like, gross, you're a felon. You can go fuck off. You check that box. You know what I mean? Yeah, but that's like all of our laws, whether you like it or not, are based on Christian values.

Yeah. But everything is based on Christian values. Yeah. Which they say church and state is separate is bullshit. Yeah. Because it's that whole fucking forgiveness thing, you fucking cock suckers, that I'd never get forgiven. Even when I was just in Pennsylvania when we got the house to rent. Yeah.

There was a few places that would not even talk to me because of my background. Yeah. And it sucks because, I don't know, just not even talking to somebody before and just kind of judging them on that. Like that, yeah, yeah. Because they don't know you. And you have made, like, I feel like a full fucking 360. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because I just, I've learned that there's more.

Jesus Christ. There's more. We can answer that on the air if it's good. Answer it. Answer it. Oh, hey, what's up, babe? Oh, you know, it's fucking sucks. These guys fucking dead.

I don't know what they're doing. You're live. You're live on the air. You're not live. She's stoked. You sound like you know. She's fucking stoked. You get your room cleaned up or what?

I'm sleeping. All right, go to bed. I'll be home later. Hey. Love you. I don't know. We're still in prison. We're still in prison.

We haven't even made it to MDF yet. What? Do you want to tell the story about how we met? Yeah, that would be sick. Yeah. What? That's an easy one? No.

No, no, no. If you're sleepy, go to bed. Okay. Well, I'll see you a little bit, or a few hours. We'll see what comes first. You're just prolonging it being on the phone right now. You're just prolonging it being on the phone. Love you.

Love you, baby. Bye. So that's your Shout out Shout out to your wife Yeah, shout out to Ryan Wait, how long after you got out Did you meet your wife?

God, I got out in February I met her in May It was like Love at first sight, You know what I mean? Three months later Luke, you were there, right?

Where did you meet her? I orchestrated the whole trip Did you really? Yeah, what was it? Give us the story, yeah So like another thing that helped me and Jake and our relationship was heavy metal and you got him into it right

yeah I helped guide him towards the healing powers and righteousness of heavy metal it is way better than Jesus I highly recommend heavy metal over Jesus the Jake that I remember 100% about what Jake said is like is it completely different

although I will say Jake did have like the attractive house Gucci Man CD when it first came out. A hundred percent. Did you really? And I remember my mom like picking it up and like, look at this girl cooking at the stove naked. Like when I remember Jake, she's got a big old booty. Oh yeah, big old black donkey thing and stanking spanking out there.

That looks amazing. Please let me borrow it. I went through, I went through a lot of phases. Kind of trying to like find yourself. Yeah. And well, you've definitely, you found yourself. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that's kind of the problem with down here because that's like,

goes back to the whole thing about nobody's really into anything down here. Yeah. Because you got all these old fucks and all you do, all they do is drink. There's just like, there's really nothing going on around here. If you think about it for, for young people, I used to skateboard all the time. Yeah. I had my hip surgery. I couldn't do that anymore.

So I had nothing. I had nothing but drugs and rap. Yeah, because when I remember Jake, it was like, when we were young, it was like the hot boys. Yeah. Like big timers. Yeah. Jake. Like early cash money shit.

Yeah, cash money and respect your wife. But Jake always had. There was like always the parties at your house. Jake always had the baddest bitches all around town. For sure. Like I remember like seeing like titties for maybe the first time. It was definitely like with Jake. Were they mine?

No, no. They don't. They weren't yours. It was like the first time I seen a real fair like women's tities. Definitely probably a party at your house. I remember. A girl screaming from like... Oh, yeah.

I remember Luke telling me a story one time. He was like... He's like, I walked into my room and there was just this girl. And Jake was like, yeah, go in there and check it out. And she was just spread evil on your bed. I forgot. I forgot the chick's name. She was like...

He's like, that was the first time I seen a pussy forever. No, she was like... She was like Luke's size. You know what I mean? She was like one of those like small girls. No, it was like they kind of looked like this. same age. Fourth grade.

And we were in like middle school. We were in middle school. Like, you were the fucking the coolest back then to me for sure. Like big time. Like, going to like the Reddington Pier and smoking black and milds with you when I was in sixth grade. Yeah, right?

This is living. Yeah. We would party at the house and we would go like ride our bicycles to Luke's house and you would already be there and all your friends and fucking mad girls. And the mutton room. And the mutton room. And with the fucking. The scoreboard on the wall.

I'm glad you guys, like, carried that tradition on it. Oh, my. All our scores are stacked. Yeah, they're definitely weighted. That's kind of how, like, our scores were. There was only, like, two of us that actually really scored on the scoreboard. But that was so sick back then. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, you got to have fun.

I mean, I just kind of, I just kind of floated through life my whole life. Yeah. Not knowing. It wasn't a bad. I mean, it's not a bad. bad thing, but it's like I kind of went through life not knowing how to do anything, but fucking party. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So, but I kind of, I guess, I guess prison probably was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Guaranteed. Honestly. Yeah. If I had to do it again the same way, I would. Really?

Yeah. Because you'd be dead if it was. Well, I can't die, but my life's a lot better. Yeah. You can't die. You're immortal, I guess. That's right, dad. Yeah.

Fuck off. Tell me I'm not. So, yeah, man, it's just, it's just weird how everything kind of just kind of keeps working out. Yeah. Learning shit. I mean, I'll learn more from prison than I have from anybody in my whole life. A lot of people that I've talked to that have been in prison for a long time and say they've met a lot of their best friends in prison. Well, I met a couple of buddies.

I mean, I don't say they're best friends, but I still keep in touch with two of them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Shout out to Chunk and Doug. Chunk. Yeah. What up, Doug?

What up, Doug? Hey, Chunk, hit that truffle shuffle, bitch. He's wider than he is tall. Yeah, he's on. My buddies, he's five foot tall and five foot wide. Wow. Yeah. It's kind of like that girl on Willie Wonka, the blue one.

Yeah, yeah. Just like her. Oh, hell yeah. But he doesn't float, he sings. He's really short hair. He's super thick, man. He is so fucking thick. He's like 10 C's.

He's like a full snickers. Oh, okay. King size. Way, way bigger. Yeah. Oh, fuck. So,

back to heavy metal? Yeah, where were we? Heavy metal. Heavy metal. This is the law. God damn better believe it. Heavy metal is the fucking law.

And if you don't agree with that, then you just need to tune out right now because we don't have time for you. Let's take a five-second break so these nerds can fucking tune off. A moment of silence for the nerds. A moment of silence for the fucking nerds that think Metallica started at the black album. Fuck you. Fuck load.

Fuck reload. And fuck anything after that. I just found out that load is the album cover is actually blood and semen. I always thought that the album cover was Guy Fieri's forearms. It's real blood and semen on that album cover. Oh. I just found that out. Who's blood and who semen?

I have no idea. Yeah. Guy Fierry. It was the first time anybody has been taken. to Flavortown. Somebody called Billy Mays for the OxyClean. Anyway. Back to the heavy metal.

So while Jake was partying doing all those things and doing all that shit, I discovered heavy metal listening to Metallica Slayer and all the things that you find out early on in your journey through non-commercial music. Me and Shane went to a couple

Casualty shows. Yeah, a lot of casualty shows. That was one of the first shows I went to. For sure. Remember when, who almost got beat up by the lead singer? Was that Alex? I think it was Alex. It was probably Alex.

Alex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds about right. Yeah, I think he like... The guy Jorge almost whooped his house. Yeah. Who's not the lead singer anymore, actually. But yeah, I remember them, I don't know what. We were crazy back then.

We would just, like, we would just while out at those shows and throw beers on stage and fucking. We were like 16, 17, drinking beers out there. Yep. Getting fucked up, but that was a good time. Yeah, it was fun. Yep. So, you know, that whole thing progresses, and you just dive down the bottomless pit that is, like, the legacy of heavy metal.

And it's just something that always stuck with me. And I feel like once I discovered that, I had my thing and the thing that I could really own, and as Jake was going through his thing I had my thing and you know as he was suffering through whatever he was suffering through and going through whatever he was going through with my parents like I just had like

my Slayer and Metallica albums and it's very typical but sometimes typical and cliche is what you need to get through the really hard times and I always wanted him there and always wish that like he could understand why this music

was good and like why there was something there's something there for everybody like no matter what emotion you're feeling no matter what you're going through you can throw on any one of those classic albums and work through it and it just stuck with me and so you passed a tomb

yeah for some reason like when we started writing and corresponding with each other while he was in jail prison prison yeah prison uh he was thanks for keeping bringing that up like that not the feds not the feds though

I'm a bottom of the barrel, fucking criminal. He got a... Cockroach criminal. He got a music player, and he was able to buy, like, single MP3s. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And as I was writing him, I would, like, tell him to download shit. So, like, download, like, some Nile. Download some Tala.

Here's some Slayer. Here's, like, some suicide silence, or here's some... Yeah. That's why, uh, whatever. Slayer, everybody should listen to Slayer, die by the sword. And I don't give a fuck, like, who's out. there if you got like some shit to talk about it the first suicide silence album is fucking amazing i don't care how true you think you are that shit fucking rips but anyway jake had that on his

ipad or his prison pod at one point so if anybody not my prison pocket his prison pocket his prison but it was smuggled in the prison pod was in the at one point it was in somebody's prison pocket yeah and then i just kept sending him stuff to listen to and you know i was going through my journey through heavy metal playing shows doing my thing and he was still just like locked up doing his thing and he was getting close to him and you photoshop some sweet pictures like yeah we did waffle house yeah me jake and obama visited a waffle house at one point uh those stick well they got okay so funny about that was uh my dad's side of the family did not know i was in prison probably for four years i don't think we ever told grannie well no she knew oh she did because you slipped up and told

one of our cousins. So anyway. So, I mean, Luke. Loose Luke over here. So the little loose Luke. That's what they call me. My dad's side of the family thought I was a hotel manager in Tallahassee.

I thought you're cutting trees. I was cutting trees in Fort Walton Beach for a while. I was doing all this shit all over. I guess they were embarrassed to tell them I was in prison or something. Wait until they see this. Because they were a... They're like... They're super fucking right-wing,

fucking Christian prophecy fucking weirdos. Yeah. And I guess that doesn't go with that. Revelations. Yeah, but nobody gives a fuck about our little family on my dad's side. So that's why we're here. Who gives a fuck? It's where we're in Florida.

Yeah. So we started making plans for this thing called MDF. That was when we were still working together. Yep. It was getting close to like a year, him being out, you got to buy tickets for it, like, probably like six to eight months out. So I was like, fuck it. I'm going like full fucking MVP package spent like all the money getting all the wristbands,

doing all the shit, getting everything lined up. And it's like, hey, we're doing this because the one thing that you need to get over, like something that's bothering you is like you need a goal to work towards. And I thought this was like a really great thing for him to look forward to and also a really great thing for me to look forward to because I saw him getting out as like the start of our actual relationship as brothers and I was just really grateful for that like fourth chance that I got to

be there and like hang out and like be cool and be human together and I was so pumped I told him and I got him through it and like we were talking about it the whole time leading up to it like through your work release and everything and I'd bring him donuts while he was on work release and like we'd drink out drink coffee before you'd have to go to work and then like I'd come up to like clear water

like jacked up off of like fucking four apple fritters and like quadruple lattes from lighthouse donuts. Shout out to light house donuts. Shout out. We actually, where was the work release? Well, we never got quads.

We ordered quads one day, lattes, and the guy goes, we don't do that. Like, it was just totally out of line that we wanted. Quadruple latte. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we got through it and we made it to the trip. Yeah.

Oh, that was amazing. Just kind of open in my eyes to that there's more to life. than Pinellas County, Florida. Yeah. Although, Pinellas County is a great place. This part of Florida is really great. It's really great if you're like 60 and coming down to California.

And you're not an ex-con fucking scumbag piece of shit. Or if you're a washed-up WWE wrestler. It is totally. Or a burned out fucking BTLS disc jockey. Oh, wow. Oh, man. So what's next on the journey of Jake? On the journey?

So what's, So what are you looking forward to? Like what's, Right now me and my wife, Ryan, Ryan James, shout up. Bow wow. Bow wow. We're about to, we're moving to Philly on the 11th.

Moving up to Philly, she's from there. And just more work opportunity for a piece of shit like me. Yeah. I don't know. She got a badass job up there. So like any city we go to, we know somebody we can stay with.

and ride the couch and shit like that. And it's, it's been awesome. I meant, like, I've met a lot of fucking cool people just all over. And it just makes you want to be like, there's more to life than just right here. Yeah. Right now where I'm living at. Yeah. I've lived at my whole life because, I mean, the house I'm living in right now is across the street from the house.

Me and Luke grew up in. What would you say to that? What would you say to the 2007 Jake James who's sitting right here? Oh, shit. Thank you. It's been a wild ride. Oh, yeah. No, it's been nuts, man.

But, I mean, it's just, who knows, I kind of believe in all that, like, don't change. Like, I wouldn't change nothing just if that's how it worked out. You know what I mean? Yeah. So everything's been. Forged and steel. It's so good, man. Yeah.

I would go through all that again to be where I'm at right now, basically. It's been an epic journey. Yeah, it really has. I mean, the whole thing, it's like. maybe someday I will do something with myself. But you know what I mean? But I mean, I'm doing the best I can for what it is. And I mean, I love it.

I love my life right now more than anything. That's awesome, man. What did change anything? Hell yeah, dude. That was fucking legendary, dude. Yeah. Thanks for coming out, man. Thanks for sharing, dude.

I know a lot of people will be able to take this and learn from it. And I'm sure there's a lot of people to relate to your story as well. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I doubt it. Hope not. Hope not. But can I say one thing?

I hope, I know he's leaving and he's moving on the next chapter of his life. Yep. So I hope you find what you're looking for, brother. Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right. Never forget that. God damn right. What did you just say?