Dark History - 156: Pranks, Blackmail, and Perverts: America’s Weirdest Presidents

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

Hi friends, happy Wednesday!  History books put presidents on a pedestal. We think of them as these untouchable heroes. In school we learn about what made them good leaders… What their big achievements were. How they handled war. Disasters. Terrorist attacks.  But what about the weird stuff they did that no one talks about? I’m talkin’ their quirks and their… un-presidential behaviors. When I looked into this, turns out, there were a lot of them. I appreciate you for coming by, and tune in next week for more Dark History. Want some cool Bailey Merch? Shop Dark History Merch: https://www.baileysarian.com Also, I sometimes talk about my Good Reads in the show. So here's the link if you want to check it out. IDK. lol: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/139701263-bailey ________ FOLLOW ME AROUND  Tik Tok: https://bit.ly/3e3jL9v Instagram: http://bit.ly/2nbO4PR Facebook: http://bit.ly/2mdZtK6 Twitter: http://bit.ly/2yT4BLV Pinterest: http://bit.ly/2mVpXnY Youtube: http://bit.ly/1HGw3Og Snapchat: https://bit.ly/3cC0V9d Discord: https://discord.gg/BaileySarian RECOMMEND A STORY HERE: [e-mail]  Business Related Emails: [e-mail] Business Related Mail:  Bailey Sarian  4400 W. Riverside Dr., Ste 110-300  Burbank, CA 91505 ________ This podcast is Executive Produced by: Bailey Sarian & Kevin Grosch and Joey Scavuzzo from Made In Network Head Writer: Allyson Philobos Writer: Katie Burris Additional Writing: Emma Lehman Research provided by: Elizabeth Hyman  Special thank you to our Historical Consultant: Luke A. Nichter Director: Brian Jaggers Edited by: Julien Perez Additional Editing: Maria Norris Post Supervisor: Kelly Hardin  Production Management: Ross Woodruff Hair: Angel Gonzalez Makeup: Nikki La Rose ________ Get your first visit for only five dollars at https://www.Apostrophe.com/DARKHISTORY when you use our code: DARKHISTORY.  Sign up for a free 30-day trial at https://www.audible.com/DARKHISTORY. Check out https://www.Squarespace.com/ for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, head to https://www.squarespace.com/DARKHISTORY to save 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. Use code DARKHISTORY for 15% off your first purchase at https://www.LumeDeodorant.com.

My car needed repairs, but I could only pay for half of them. An easy loan through Lamina.ca made the difference between stressed out driving and a smooth ride to work. Mark went the extra mile on his repairs with a loan from Brokers Lamina at 1-800-NEW-CREDIT. It's easy to apply over the phone or online at Lamina.ca. Load up to $1,500 and get funds in an hour with no documents or credit checks and pay back over three to seven months. Prop up your purchase and apply for a loan now at lamina.ca. History books put presidents on a pedestal. We think of them as like these untouchable heroes, you know?

In school, we learn about what made them good leaders, what their big achievements were, how they handled war, disasters, terrorist attacks. But you know, like what about the weird stuff that they did that no one talks about? You know, like I'm talking about their quirks, their unpresidential behaviors. Well, when I looked into this,

turns out there were a lot of them. So today we're paying tribute to some of the freakiest commanders in chief that the United States has ever known. From driving boat cars to whipping out their penises some of the freakiest commanders in chief that the United States has ever known. From driving boat cars to whipping out their penises for the press and so much in between, our past presidents have had a little more personality than we may have been told. So let's get into the bizarre, the beautiful and the mind boggling dark history of weird

presidents. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Hi friends, I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast Dark History. Here we believe history does not have to be boring. It might be tragic. It might be happy, but either way it's our Dark History. Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe because I'm always posting new content. Hi, and let me know what you think. I love hearing from you in the comment section. Now, let's get into some weird presidents, huh? This is fun. This is fun.

So in our history of 46 presidents, some shady, 46? Really? Okay, I learned something new right now. In our history of 46 presidents, some shady stuff has happened behind the doors of the White House. So let's start with one of my personal favorites, Lyndon B. Johnson. President

Johnson was sometimes called LBJ and he was such an egomaniac that his wife and daughters all had the same initials as him. Kind of like giving like Kris Jenner, you know? But not. He's probably the most like infamous U.S. president of this episode because of his unique personality. LBJ is the guy who replaced JFK after JFK was assassinated. And maybe it was especially obvious because of how popular JFK was, but Johnson was not a popular guy with the American people. His mannerisms made people insanely uncomfortable, but he didn't care. All he cared about was getting the job done.

His weirdness actually became known as the Johnson Treatment. Instead of walking up to an aide or an intern in the White House and saying, hey, where's that file? Or whatever. You know? LBJ had a trademark move. He would usually corner his aides when they were alone. And sometimes he would even like grip their hands

really tight. Then he would lean in really, really close, like really close. So like he's breathing on you. You can smell all of him. And LBJ was like six foot four. So he was essentially towering over whoever he was talking to. And because LBJ believed that the more uncomfortable and intimidated he could make someone, the less likely they'd be to turn him down. Interesting strategy and honestly I could see that working

right? If someone's like coming at you and talking really close like hey will you will you house it for me? And they're like really close to you you're gonna say yeah. Well it depends. Do you have His penis. Penis is the other Johnson. Yeah I was talking about his penis. Even though the holidays have been over for weeks, my skin is not getting the memo. I just feel like my skin needs, I don't know, a refresh. Plus now that it's January, I'm dealing with dry skin, just one thing after another. Well, that's why I am always glad to be partnering with Apostrophe. I freaking love Apostrophe. If you don't know, Apostrophe is an online platform that connects you with an expert dermatology team

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And this code is only available to you or listeners. So to get started, just go to apostrophe.com slash dark history and click get started. Then use our code dark history at signup and you'll get your first visit for only five dollars. Thank you apostrophe for sponsoring today's episode. Now let's get back to the story. By the end of his presidential term, everyone had seen his penis, including the press, his cabinet, more than a few leaders and lawmakers. And I guess they saw it at least a couple of times.

He would just like right on the, hey, like just out, just he even gave it a nickname, jumbo. I mean, it's bad, you shouldn't do that. But if it's huge and jumbo, if I were a dude, God, I'd be in so much trouble and I had a big wiener, I would definitely just be like plopping it everywhere. It's big.

I'm just kidding. I wouldn't, that's sexual harassment really. Don't do that. That's why God made me a woman. So you're probably thinking, okay, how was this happening? He's a president. Are people like, you know, complaining or something? Well, first off, Johnson was notorious

for taking meetings in the bathroom. Now, according to him, this was to quote, assert dominance. I don't know, this guy is, he's odd, right? Whenever he had to use the bathroom, he would demand that people follow him in, then he just keep talking like with the door open. Yeah, so, okay. All right.

I was thinking, cause like, I was in the bathroom the other day and this girl, this girl's having a full on conversation on the phone while on the toilet. People who talk on the toilet, like that to me is strange. And I know you're out there. I know a lot of you do it because I go to the bathroom a lot like people do.

And sometimes I'll be listening to people having phone conversations on the phone. And I'm like, dude, if I were on the phone and you're on the, taking, if you want, you can tell when I were on the phone and you're on the taken if you want you can tell when someone's on the bathroom because it echoes and you can hear a flush it's just bizarre but do your thing so one time allegedly when he was speaking with a lawmaker he turned around dick out and he asked like hey you ever seen anything this big

Have you ever seen anything this big? Yeah. But actually, I guess LBJ wasn't a big fan of bathrooms. If he wasn't within a few feet of a toilet, he was known to whip out jumbo and just urinate wherever. One time he was driving around his ranch, drinking scotch and water, his favorite drink. Yeah, drinking and driving. And he stopped to take a leak on the side of the road. His Secret Service were following closely behind him

and they actually walked right into the splash zone. Yeah. Apparently one of those Secret Service guys piped up and said, excuse me, Mr. President, like the wind is blowing your pee onto my leg and Johnson replied I know that's my prerogative. Yeah Johnson didn't really like give a crap what anyone thought of him. Like that is something I admire but like you can't be whipping out your dick everywhere dude bro you can't be doing that. According to our expert he smoked two packs a day and drank like a fish. He was even known for taking meetings completely naked. After a 1964 campaign event, he invited White House reporter Frank Cornier into the presidential plane for an interview. I guess it was a really hot day and according to Frank, Johnson proceeded to remove all of his clothes, including his underwear, and continue the interview like

nothing was happening. Like everything was completely normal. Don't ask questions, just accept my story. One time I went to a nudist colony thing and you know everyone's naked and they all act completely normal right? It's fine, it's accepted. Love your body, be naked. And I'm like, that's great. I had clothes on. If someone was like sitting and trying to, or like talking to you, do you know how hard it is to not look

and just try to look them in the eyes the whole time? Oh, it was such a challenge. Cause you wanna be like, you know, you can't. Anyway, so he was a nudist. He loved it. He loved to swim naked in the White House pool. And naturally Johnson wasn't shy about his skinny dipping. Like he would do it in front of anyone

who happened to be there. He even took official meetings, no matter how important while swimming naked. But even when he was wearing clothes, I mean, you were never safe. During meetings, he was known to reach right down like into his pants and adjust himself, like move, you know, move his junk around.

Maybe you've seen guys do that. I know I have, I was at Universal Studios and I saw this guy just out walking full on. He just in his pants adjusted and then just put his hands on the railing at the Harry Potter line. I was like, this is why we get the flu and stuff. It's kind of always the men. Sorry. You guys are nasty. Apparently Johnson would make his adjustment

and his beloved jumbo the focus of his meetings. He even used his dick to justify war, verbatim telling people that his dick was why the US was in Vietnam. When a group of reporters once asked him why the US was involved in the war, he literally pulled out his dick and said, this is why. Yeah, I don't know.

One time, I guess a new shower was being installed in the White House, and Johnson requested that a special jet be added to shoot water directly at his crotch. At least one of these showers, I guess, still exists. Our expert, Luke Nickter, has even seen the one in LBJ's presidential library in Austin, Texas, and he said, quote, it looks unrenovated since he was alive. I don't really blame him for that because, like, a lot of... I don't want to say a lot. I don't want to group all men together. But, you know, I'm sure a lot of guys don't clean that area well probably a good thing

to have like a shower cleaning it you know I don't know he obviously loved his wiener apparently LBJ staff told him it would probably be pretty expensive to do that and he responded if I can move 10,000 troops in a day, you can certainly fix the bathroom any way I want. I mean, touche. One of the most well-known Johnson stories comes from a fateful day in August when he was trying to custom order a new pair of pants. Now with his wiener being so big, Johnson had some special requests about how his pants should fit.

Specifically, the crotch should be extra roomy. This is all a direct quote. He told the clothing makers, quote, the crotch down where your nuts hang is always a little too tight. So when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there because they cut me. They're just like riding a wire fence. Leave me about an inch from where the zipper ends around back to my bunghole. We have a recording of this for you. Johnson really took making people uncomfortable to a whole new level. I mean, he should get an award for it, really. Now you might think we're ready to move on to our next character because there's no way

President Johnson could get any more unique. I don't know if unique is the word or just like a pervert. Right? I think he kind of got off and like showing people his dick. Are there pictures of his dick out there? I'm curious. I just want to see what he was so impressed with. Johnson wasn't just known for his wiener. He was also known for playing potentially deadly pranks on his guests. So picture this. You're the

prime minister of France. You're coming to meet the president of the United States of America. You show up dressed nice and smart. Maybe you're wearing a beret. I don't know. You come with a loaf of bread. LBJ invites you into his bougie car for a ride. And you're like, wee-wee. And you're cruising along and suddenly, oh no, the car is going right into a river. You're panicking. You look at the president. You're like, what are you doing? You're driving into a river

right now. Well, turns out you were just in his Amphi car, aka his car that turns into a boat. President Johnson owned a water car that could operate on both land and water. Honestly, like kind of ahead of his time. But one of his favorite things to do was to invite, you know, people over for a little drive and then go head first, well drive head first into a body of water, let their passenger kind of panic for a second, and then be like, LOL, just kidding. It's a boat. By the time he left office, LBJ was pretty notorious and not just for his literal and metaphorical dick swinging.

President Johnson was productive. Over his four years in office, he passed a ton of important civil rights and social welfare legislation, including the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which banned segregation in public places, including schools. It also banned racial discrimination in workplaces when it came to hiring. So because of LBJ, you know, businesses are not allowed to hire based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. He also signed the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

So for years and years people have been trying to prevent black people from voting by requiring stuff like property ownership, literacy tests, and poll taxes. This was at a time when discrimination against black Americans meant that they couldn't really own property or get higher education. So even though there was no law saying black Americans can't vote, they were pretty obviously intended

to keep the voting population for like the white and rich. And LBJ's Voting Rights Act helped make that illegal. He even established the Food Stamp Program, which gave underprivileged people access to food. But he also played a big part in escalating America's involvement in the Vietnam War. And despite everything we've learned about him today, that's what made him unpopular to the American people. Even once it was clear that we weren't gonna win the war,

Johnson was asking Congress to send in more troops and to bomb the hell out of Vietnam. So, you know, that did not look great for him. Many people, many men were dying and those who didn't were facing serious health issues because of the war weapon Agent Orange. Remember, we covered Agent Orange in our Monsanto episode. So you know in conclusion he was a pervert and a troll and weird and bizarre. He's

he's uncomfortable but in office he did accomplish a lot at the end of the day. Good and bad. Honestly though, I kind of want to take a ride on that car boat. I would love to do that. I would do the same thing. Whoa, we're going into the river, we're going to die. And then like, you just freak them out.

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Joan is a president. Any special words for the American people out there, Joan? Ah, ah. Uh-huh. Wow. I'd vote for you. And then we have Paul. Paul. This ain't it. This ain't it. You know we never see him in pants and I think there's a reason. You see how these pants fit? Oh my gosh. Good for you Paul. The next weird president I want

to talk about is number 29. President Warren G. Harding. What's that, Joan? Oh, he's a Scorpio? Um, so he's a freak. Freaky dinky, huh? It makes sense. You'll see. Not to like say Scorpios are freaky or anything, but you you know they usually are the ones talking on the toilet too. Anyways this guy he was president for just two years from 1921 to 1923 and then he like died of a heart attack. Too stressful I guess. And according to Encyclopedia Britannica his quote brief administration accomplished little of lasting value. Oh okay. But his presidency was kind of juicy. It was like scandals just followed President Harding everywhere he went. In his professional life and his personal life. And just like with LBJ, one of the main characters in Harding's story was his penis. Are we surprised?

The men are always kind of obsessed with the penis, huh? Get over it. So, you know, he also gave his member a nickname. He named it Jerry. I don't know. Jerry was quite busy. Harding was notorious for having affairs. In fact, he even told reporters, quote, it's a good thing I'm not a woman. I would always be pregnant. I can't say no,

end quote. I mean, to be fair, I literally just said, quote, I'm quoting Bailey. If I were a man, I would be pulling it out all the time or whatever I said. I just feel like he didn't have to say that. A diary. A diary. You could write it down. You don't have to say it, you know? You're allowed to think it, but you don't have to say it as a president. Harding was married, but he and his wife, Florence, they had no children together. And as he puts it in a letter to one of his many side pieces quote my home relationship is merely existence necessary for appearances sake sounds romantic yeah so Warren G Harding's main side chick was a woman named Carrie Phillips now Carrie was a close friend of the Harding family and one of the Harding's best friends' wives.

Best friends? Ohhhh. Mm-hmm. And let me tell you, the number of letters this guy sent to Carrie, it could make a whole book. On Christmas Eve in 1910, Harding sent a photo of himself to Carrie, writing on the back quote, my darling, there are no words at my command sufficient to say the full extent of my love for you. A mad, tender, devoted, ardent, eager, passion wild, jealous, hungry love. It rocks in the tortures of aching hunger and glows in the bliss. Honestly, I wish someone would write me letters like that.

That's steamy. Too bad it's not for his wife, huh? Another great line from his letter to Kerry is quote, there will never be any relief until I take a long, deep, wild draft on your lips and then bury my face on your pillowing breasts. Damn, daddy. Okay. One time I got an Instagram comment from some, I've got like this creep. I don't block him because he's creative with his words and he told me that

he wanted to maul my calcium cannons. So kind of same thing is what I'm getting at. So Harding was really popular with the American people when he was in office because he really had a way with his words. I mean the man could write an amazing speech. I mean based off his letters you can tell he's he's good with his words. Kerry and Harding had a 15 year long affair from 1905 until 1921 when he became president. In 1920, right after the Republican Party officially nominated him, Harding came to them with his tail between his legs. Like, hey guys, I have something I have to tell you. And he told party officials about his affair and about all of those like love letters, you know,

like because they might come out. I mean he'd written some of them on um Senate Stationery, like literally. Uh oh. He knew it was going to come out sooner or later and wanted some help getting it under control before taking office. Obviously by this point the affair pretty much uh I guess it had been over but Carrie, yeah no she's got all these letters, she wasn't gonna let him just walk away. After he was inaugurated, Carrie threatened to release all of these super saucy letters unless he forked over an insane amount of money. Go for her. So the Republican National Convention secretly paid her $25,000 to keep her mouth shut. Which today would be like $400,000.

On top of that, Carrie asked for essentially an allowance of $5,000 a month to continue to keep her secret under wraps. Good for her. So Carrie, you know, she was sitting pretty. If this was happening today, that monthly allowance would be like $83,000. Oh, great. That's great.

Happy for her. Happy for her. Listen, I like January, I do, but it's always kind of maybe a bit of a disappointment. Maybe, I don't know. I feel like every new year, I get this rush of creativity, good ideas, 2025 is gonna be amazing, oh my God, you know? And then, you know, oops, everything I forget.

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Like some of them were because you can read them. So, but she didn't stop there. I mean, she really milked this for all it was worth. She got herself multiple all expense paid vacations and she was even able to like set some of her family members up with cushy government jobs. I mean, can't even be mad. No, go for her. And you know, all while sitting on the secret bank account full of hush money. Which is interesting because if Harding paid up, then how do we know about all this? How do we know about these letters? I mean, eventually someone spilled the beans. Fun fact that you can share with your family at dinner,

Harding was actually the only US president to be successfully blackmailed by a mistress. I mean, that we know of. I'm sure there's lots more. They're all men. I mean, come on. You know, they'd be fucking up. And you would think that Harding like learned his lesson after this,

but of course he didn't because, you know, he's a man. Sorry. Sorry, men. I'm so sorry. But sometimes you guys have a hard time keeping your penis in your pants. It's reported that Harding was still seeing Carey secretly until at least January of 1922.

You know, I guess like black male couldn't even keep them apart. Very romantic. But on top of that, the White House had to tie up some other Lucens. They got signed affidavits from at least three other women that he had an affair with. Bro.

What are you doing? This document made them swear that in exchange for a little bit of cash, they wouldn't spill the beans on their affairs with Harding. And like three, those are just the ones that we know about. But you know, where there's a will, there's a way. Harding even made arrangements to hook up with a senate aide on the night of his inauguration. So damn really? I guess his friends found out and literally like threatened this poor girl with government surveillance if she didn't pack up her stuff and like leave town. Harding actually fathered a child with one of the women that he was seeing. Her name was Nan Britton. He was 52 at the time and she was 21. Keep in mind this is the same

time period when he's having a affair with Carrie. And not to mention he's married the whole time too. Now Nan was from Harding's hometown and she was kind of like Harding's fangirl. She had been keeping up with his career since he ran for governor. After she graduated from secretary school, Nan wrote a letter to Harding asking for a job. And Harding had time. He wrote back and he said he would try to help. He also said that he would be in New York the next week if she felt like, you know, meeting up, maybe getting together. Harding booked them a room at the Madison Hotel and it wasn't like just a normal room.

He got the bridal suite. So Nan shows up and pretty much as soon as she closes the door to the suite, Harding is like all over her making out with her. Brightside, she did get a job out of it. And of course, like, you know, they just they kept their affair going strong for years. Eventually Nan got pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. And apparently Harding never actually like met the child he had with Nan, but he did make child support payments. And I guess these payments were actually hand delivered to Nan by the Secret Service.

So it's like everyone kind of knew what was up. Harding and Nan continued their affair until he died in 1923. Once he died, Nan sued his estate in order to get a trust fund for their daughter. I guess she didn't win the case. So instead she wrote a juicy book about her affair with the president. Oh yeah, it's called The President's Daughter. Yes, I was thinking my date with The President's Daughter, that Disney movie.

Yes, not the same thing though. Yeah, but that's what I was thinking too. I'm gonna read that book, you know what I'm saying? Nan dedicated her book to quote, "'All unwed mothers and to their innocent children whose fathers are usually not known to the world. The thing is though nobody believed her stories. The media tore her apart. You know how they you know how they are especially back then. Oh they just called her a slut, a liar, a degenerate, a gold digger.

So sad, huh? The White House itself called her book a blast from hell. But in 2015, DNA testing confirmed that Elizabeth was in fact, Harding's daughter. So according to his grand nephew, Peter Harding, the entire Harding family had believed this whole time that Nan was a total liar. You bitches. Yeah. Well guess what? DNA doesn't lie bitch. I mean you know DNA testing exists back in the early 20s so it's like how can anyone be sure that Nan was telling the truth? Oh that must have been so frustrating for her. They also believe

that because Harding had caught the disease called mumps as a kid he was sterile. Meaning like he couldn't have kids because he had the mumps. Maybe that's what Harding thought too and like you know that's why he was just going around sticking his jerry and everything that moved. He thought he was sterile. During his term, nobody knew about any of this. Not the affairs. Definitely not the baby. Harding came into office as one of the most popular presidents of all time. And he won his election by the largest margin in history. But even towards the end of his second year in office, people were starting to have their doubts. And by the time he left office, he was one of the most hated.

Harding was like a bit of a hypocrite. So, you know prohibition, you know, the government like banned alcohol. So Harding was a big supporter of prohibition. He voted in support of the anti-saloon league, which was the entire reason he was even elected senator way back when. He was super public with his support for the whole like no booze thing but of course, of course Harding loved like whiskey you know in private.

I guess he kept like a fully stocked bar in the White House because he considered himself above the law. And who's gonna stop the president? So also he was known for hosting wild poker nights. Alice Longworth, a regular at these poker nights, remembers them as downright ragers. The first lady, oh, forgot about her. Yeah, but she was there.

She would mix the drinks and according to Alice, quote, trays with bottles containing every imaginable brand of whiskey stood about. He was what people called a wet dry. Sounds gross. So this is like someone who told the public that they were anti alcohol, but, you know, in the comfort of their own home, they like to drink. According to FBI reports, he was totally hammered during an important meeting with union leaders in 1922 when prohibition was in full effect.

Now you might be wondering, how did Harding get his hands on all this liquor if it was illegal? Well, President Harding had his very own bootlegging service. So this guy named Jess W. Smith personally smuggled whiskey into the White House for the president and his buddies. Jess was the US Attorney General's personal aide, which meant that he had access to like all the whiskey that the government had been confiscating.

So a lot of this booze, it's not funny, but like you know the president took advantage of this and it was just his, it was all his. All this booze went to the president and some of it was kept for the quote love nest, a little party house that Jess and the attorney general shared. I don't know why it was called the Love Nest. Maybe it was because this place had like a pink taffeta bedroom or it could have been because Jess and the Attorney General were rumored to use this like little house to have sex. God, the White House sounds wild, right? If those walls could talk, that's the only... Yeah, that would be interesting, huh?

Either way, we know there were sex boos and ragers at the White House thanks to Harding. And maybe he's one of the most popular presidents because he only got to serve for two years. I bet if he stuck around longer, he wouldn't have been able to cover himself so well. I bet you his secrets would have started to come out, you know? Warren G. Harding wasn't the only president who slept around. Of course not.

Because this next president makes Harding look like an innocent little baby angel. It's January, which means it's time to break out all the winter clothing. I'm talking giant scarves. Oh, the chunky Ugg boots. and of course, comfy sweaters. Oh, my favorite, I love being comfy. But let's be honest, winter clothes can make us moist,

sweat, you know, and maybe you can get smelly underneath all those layers really quickly like myself. And every year, we just accept it. But no more, we are leaving the past in the past. One thing we are bringing with us into 2025 is Lume Whole Body Deodorant. Yeah, I bet you didn't see that coming, huh? Look, Lume Whole Body Deodorant is safe to use anywhere on your body from your armpits to your feet. Plus, it's clinically proven to block odor all day and control odor for up to 72 hours. Lumi was created by an OBGYN who saw firsthand

how normal BO was being misdiagnosed and mistreated. My personal favorite is Lumi's Sweat Control Deodorant Stick in the Lavender Sage scent. I use it at the end of my morning routine, of course, before I start my day, but I'm very sensitive. I break out very easily from deodorants and whatnot. You know, I get rashes, but with Lumi, this one gave me the protection I needed all day

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Like they got the mini body wash and deodorant wipes. I love the deodorant wipes. Throw them in your bag, so easy. Plus you would get free shipping if you do the Lumi's Starter Pack. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack,

look that equals over 40% off their starter pack. So all you have to do is use code DARKHISTORY for 15% off your first purchase at lumedeodorant.com. That's code dark history at lumideodorant, L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. It'd be so nice. Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lumi. The next president I wanna tell you about

is President Grover Cleveland. Cleveland was president from 1885 to 1889 and then 1893 to 1897. Numbers. Numbers. Cleveland married Frances Folsom when she was 21 and he was 49. And you know to make things even weirder, Grover met Frances very soon after she was born. He was like 27. He met her, that's kind of gross, but whatever. I guess Frances's father was one of Grover's

like old work colleagues, and the families were like close friends. So when Frances was 11, her dad died and Grover was appointed administrator of his estate. I keep thinking about Stossim Street. As Frances grew up, Grover bought her and her family like extravagant gifts and she called them like uncle Cleve, which is gross because that would soon be her husband.

Francis started dating her quote unquote uncle when she was in college and they got secretly engaged when Francis was 20. They didn't announce their engagement until 10 months later, exactly five days before their wedding and his favorite nickname for her was my darling child. Yeah, ew. I don't know, these guys are all giving me the creeps. I feel like I need to take a long hot shower. Now the wildest story about Grover actually has to do

with his health scandal that he dealt with. So after he became president for his second term, he noticed like a little rough spot on the roof of his mouth. He's like tongue in his mouth, and he's noticing like something kind of feels funky. Within a few months, the spot had grown and a doctor diagnosed it as a malignant tumor.

Basically meaning it's cancer, you know, which not great for Grover, but it might've been even worse for the American people, really. So during this time in history, we were going, like America was going through, America, she's over there, was going through like some rough economic times and heading towards a depression.

So Grover worried that if the public found out about his diagnosis, it would cause chaos and make the economy even worse. But the White House doctor was pretty pushy about the fact that his tumor needed to be like removed. So Grover decided, okay, I'll remove it in secret. We have to do it like low key, like no one can know about this.

So he announced to the public that he was taking a four day fishing trip on his friend's yacht. You know, just an innocent little vacation with the girls. He didn't necessarily lie. He was on a yacht, you know, and he would be gone for four days. But what the public didn't know and the media and all that was that he was actually on the yacht to get his tumor removed. Yeah, in secret as fast as possible. Now doctors to this day are like amazed by this surgery.

First off, the surgeons were doing it on a moving boat. Plus they had to leave as small of a scar as possible and not change the shape of his face or jaw at all because people would notice. You know? And most important for his public image, they could not ruin Grover's signature mustache. I mean to them like that would be a dead giveaway. People would be like, where's your mustache? Like what happened?

The surgeons only had 90 minutes to execute the surgery and it ended up taking six surgeons to finish the operation. Wow. So they put Grover under and removed the tumor plus five teeth and a big chunk of his jaw. They somehow got the tumor out through his mouth and left almost no trace of a scar. Now the public had no idea any of this happened. No one really, no one did. Until Dr. Ferdinand Hasbrook, who he was like one of the guys who performed the surgery, he ended up leaking the story to the Philadelphia Press in like August of 1893.

Probably for some money or something like good for him. Honestly, if you're a doctor and you did that, I would want to brag too, like check out this shit I just did. On a yacht, on the president, like I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. All of the other doctors totally denied it, so did the New York Times. Everyone turned against this doctor and like called him crazy said he was making up stories that like who would listen to this guy like what the fuck and it basically ended his career yeah poor doctor I hope he got paid for like that story because at least like he would make money and then like okay fine my

career is over but at least I got this money. It wasn't until 1917, 24 years later, that another one of the surgeons published a book detailing the entire operation. Oh it was a bummer though because the other doctor Ferdinand, he had been dead for almost like 15 years by that point so he couldn't be like told you see you know and that's the best part about like these situations when you get to say told you so. That's a nice feeling. But Grover's reputation was basically in the toilet by like the end of his second term,

but not for any of the reasons that you would expect. People just thought of him as like wishy washy. They really didn't know what he stood for. But at the very least, he did go down in history as the guy who got his mouth secretly renovated on a yacht. Now I don't know why history books have to keep things so dry. Add a little spice I say. Huh?

Let him know about the affairs. Well, do we need to know that? I don't know. But it's fun. I feel like I would have remembered so much more about our presidents if I knew about like the little things that made them human or like... weirdos. I bet I would have remembered LBJ as a kid or a teenager in history if I knew about his swimming car, you know, or that he pranked people or that he was a major pervert. I don't know.

It feels like today we have a more well-rounded sense of who everyone is thanks to social media. But people a hundred years ago were the same as people today. They laughed, they cried, they talked about their penises and even gave them names. They were perverts. They had affairs. They wrote. No, no, well actually no. People these days don't write steamy hot love letters about pillowing breasts and I say bring that back. Not the affair part but like the steamy hot letters. Write me some. Send them to me about my pillowing breasts. Listen, at the end of the day even the president is a human being, huh?

There's so much more. There are, this is only three presidents. Honey, we, how many presidents have we had? 40 something I said. I'm sure there's a lot more where that came from. But on, just remember, you can't put these people on a pedestal because they usually suck. Well guys, thanks for listening. It was fun. I had a fun time. I laughed, I cried, I giggled a lot. I was disgusted. I want to take a hot shower because ill.

Ugh, LBJ is gross. Well, except for his car, but ugh. Well, our next episode is actually nobody asked for it, but I was like, we're doing it anyways, because I feel like everyone knows someone or at least knows of someone who has been affected by this drug. Even though it seems like it came out of nowhere it's actually been FDA approved since 1968 but today it's honestly becoming like one of the deadliest killers in America so join me next week when we talk about the dark history of fentanyl.

Well friends, thank you for hanging out with me today. I hope you learned something new that you can share at the dinner table. Did you know you can join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes? Yeah, on Thursday after the podcast airs. You can see me. Hi. And while you're there you can also catch my murder mystery and makeup on Mondays. And don't forget to subscribe,

bleep-blop-loop. I'm here for you all the time with new content. Now my favorite part, let's read a couple of comments you guys have left me. Malpal1213 left a comment on our pigeons episode saying every time I hear share on me I only hear the name Jeremy said in a dramatic voice share on me share on me Share I know now look I was looking at the comments and everyone was saying it sounded like I was saying Jeremy and I was like Okay, I can hear it. I can hear it There's that. Yeah, no, I don't know at least we remember. Well, did, I don't know. At least we remember. Well, did we?

I don't know. Thanks. Thank you. Do you think it's because I talk funny? I'm trying. Trying. HaHaMinEmily, sorry, great username, left us a comment on our death episode saying,

"'Fun fact, when spreading my grandma's ashes a few years ago ago one of my uncles snorted her grammy was a partier lol love you bailey well okay okay yeah sure is your uncle okay did was he glad he did that? Did you watch? Did you try? You know, I think, God, was it an intervention episode where, no, no, no, I'm getting confused. It was, I think it was my strange addiction.

Like this lady had lost her husband and she had him cremated and she was addicted to eating and like snorting his ashes. Same thing, same thing. Yeah, I don't know, but good for your uncle. Good for him. I mean, if that's what grandma wanted. Thank you for sharing that with me.

It was fun. Cat in Crunch 56682 left us an episode suggestion. Episode idea, the dark history of movie curses. Think the Omen, the old Poltergeist movies, et cetera. Captain Crunch, first of all, I love Captain Crunch. Is that where your name is like kind of going after? I love Captain Crunch. I just hate that it like tears up your mouth.

So you can't eat multiple bowls. You can have like one or two, but you gotta max out because you got cuts all in your mouth. It's like, what is that about, right? It's like eating glass, but it's so good. Anyhow, I love the episode idea. You know, I was thinking about that because the Wizard of Oz also has like some kind of spook.

Like remember the, you remember the, one of the, remember? Do you remember the guy who like hung himself in the back of the movie? It's only in certain versions of The Wizard of Oz. Anyhow, um, let me think about this. That's not a bad idea. Maybe it could be like a Halloween time episode. Yeah, okay, I like this. Sorry, I'm thinking about it. I'm marinating a little bit and I like this. I think that's a great idea. I'm sure there's like a lot we could find more too, huh? What do you think?

great idea. I'm sure there's like a lot we could find more too huh? What do you think? You want to do an episode on the birds? Oh okay. Well I think there is a story behind the birds like wasn't uh what's his name Hitchcock like... fucking psycho like literally. Uh anyways thank you so much for leaving comments and suggestions and stuff I love it. Don't forget to keep on commenting because maybe I'll read your comment in a future episode. And hey, if you don't know, Dark History is an audio boom original. I want to give a big special thank you to our expert professor, Luke Nichter,

history professor at Chapman University and the author of the book, The Year That Broke Politics, Collusion and Chaos in the Presidential Election of 1968. Gotta love our experts, huh? And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. I hope you have a good day, any make-a-choices, and I'll be talking to you guys later. Goodbye! I'm going to sleep.