Dark History - 58: Clowns that Kill: the Dark History of Clowns
Episode Date: October 12, 2022Welcome to the Dark History podcast. Clowns, you either like them or you hate them. There really isn’t much of an in between. But how could something as simple as a clown manage to get such strong o...pinions from people? In today’s episode we explore the long, dark, drunk, and complicated history of the clown. And I knew this story would be dark, but ooo boy, this was even darker than I expected. Episode Advertisers Include: Ship Station, Framebridge, Hello Fresh, OUAI Haircare
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Hey guys, it's me, your ex. Just kidding, I'm a clown.
How are you, Halloween? 2022, look at me. My name is Bailey Sarian and if you didn't know,
it's the best time of the year, baby. Because this month we're talking about all things. Boogie,
boogie,
boogie.
Yeah, I mean everything.
St. M clowns, mummies, witch hunts.
Oh, it's been so fun.
So all you have to do is sit back, relax,
and we're gonna talk about that hot juicy history.
Halloween.
Gus, if you're listening on the podcast, I'm a clown.
So when I say the word clown,
what do you think of besides your ex,
maybe Boso or McDonald's,
or that run down hotel in Las Vegas, circus circus, you know?
How's it doing?
Is it still there?
It always looked like it was about to like fall down, right?
It was pretty sketch for a while.
Anyways, maybe crusty from the Simpsons,
or what about that guy who cheated
on Chloe Kardashian a million times publicly? What's his name? I forget. But clown, right?
What I'm getting at is clowns. Why are they here? Are they trying to kill us or are they
trying to kill us with laughter? Are they to be embraced or feared? Or maybe bold. Where did clowns come from? I didn't know. On one side,
everyone, well I guess mostly kids. I think they're excited to see clowns. They've got those big
shoes, the noses, they make french fries, clowns, love. And then there's the other side. It's usually
the parents with the adults who are like clowns, hell to the freaking no, right?
I'm terrified of clowns.
I'm not, I'm just saying like a lot of people.
I don't know, am I?
I actually don't know.
I work at my statement.
I mean, if a clown walked in here right now,
would I be happy?
I'm not sure, but then again,
Paul shows up every day. Ha, so my real question here are clowns supposed
to be funny or scary.
Why are they here?
Where did they come from?
And who created that iconic makeup look?
Bravo.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, we will be
bopping that nose, scratching beneath the white paint
of lies, deceit and fake smiles.
For the world of the clown is a dark pit of despair.
If you climb in, no one climbs out. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do thinking. So how did we get here? Well, squeeze into this clown car with me and let's take a journey
to clown town USA. I don't know what the clowns live. So the year 2400 BC, we're an ancient Egypt.
Now I know what you're thinking when it comes to ancient Egypt. Mummy's,
Momipada, Pyramids, Egyptians. But what if I told you clowns?
A version of early clowns were actually found in ancient Egypt. They did everything, just like the Greeks.
Ancient Egypt, they were ahead of their game. So rumor has it that laughter is the best medicine, and the Egyptians felt this to be very true.
So they would go to wild lengths to get those laughs. The Egyptians would capture other tribes and force them to make up dance routines to entertain
their kings.
It was also said that an ancient Egypt that sometimes the same person would be the priest and then
other times be the local clown.
Yeah, so by day, praise and Jesus, praise and Jesus.
And then an hour later, he's making a giggle. He's a priest and he's a clown.
Good times, LOL.
That's the church I would wanna go do, you know?
It makes sense, does it?
No, but I like it.
This was just great entertainment
because they didn't have anything to really do back then.
So, clowns, cool.
It was important to everyone to have a good laugh.
So when they saw their priest do it,
they didn't think anything of it. It was normal. He's a priest and he's a clown. Good times,
LOL. That's the church I would want to go do, you know? As always, the ancient Greeks had their
own versions of clowns because let's be honest here, the Greek extension Greeks specifically,
they did everything. They were right up there with the ancient Egyptians. Inventing
shit, being forward thinking thinking they had clowns.
Come on.
But the Greek version of the clown looked more like a mime.
They would take serious, quote unquote, serious situations and make it funny, make the people
laugh a little, and you know, if the Greeks do it, it's so to the Romans.
In ancient Rome, the clown had a real role in society called the Stupidus.
These clowns were typically bald, were pointy hats, and patchwork
coats to signal that first of all, they were lower class and second of all,
that they were a clown. Plays were super big, like the theater,
so big, in Roman culture. Like, if you want to do something on a Friday night,
you'd go see a play, and on stage you'd respect the actors, but then you'd see a clown come on stage, right?
And that's when you knew you'd get a laugh.
You could giggle.
It was okay to laugh.
And one of the clown's famous jokes
was to throw nuts at the audience.
Yeah, we can insert a D's nuts joke here,
but I'm not going to, I'm gonna move on instead,
but they would throw nuts at the audience.
It's not funny, but I like where they were going with this.
Okay, so in Rome, if someone died,
the family members would hire a clown.
Yeah, not just any clown, a mime.
And this mime would come out and impersonate the dead person.
They'd be like, who am I?
I'm your uncle, stalking a box.
Cause I'm dead, you know?
So you'd shop to your uncle race,
few in a lot of ones crying and like,
oh no, I can't believe he's gone too soon.
And then this clown just rolls in.
And he's like, hey, everybody guess who I am?
Who?
And starts doing an oppression,
but next to his grave.
And like, honestly, that's nice because, you know,
it's just a great way to lighten the mood
and maybe it did for them.
I'm not here at Judge.
I'm just here to learn.
Okay, so now in the middle ages, they too had clouds,
but they were basically servants.
There were clowns who served the royalty
and they had a different name than clown, actually.
They were called court gestures
and if you've played cards before,
you know, like a deck of cards,
you know, that picture of the Joker card,
you know, the guy, he's like funny hat,
bells on the feet,
pointy shoes, those guys, that's a gesture.
These people were considered to be
at the bottom of the Totem pole.
They always wore lots of patchwork
because that symbolized that to everybody else
that you were lower class,
can't afford to get new clothes,
but they had very special privileges,
clowns, gestures, fools, whatever, clothes, but they had very special privileges.
Clowns, gestures, fools, whatever you want to call them at the time.
They had a history of being allowed to say whatever they want.
You see in the middle ages, for example, the clown was the only one person who could make
fun of royalty and get away with it.
It's essentially like doing a medieval roast.
If you were dressed up funny,
quote, funny, it gave you the right to make fun of whoever you wanted, which was kind of cool.
It was like a free pass. You weren't a threat. You weren't seen as a threat because you were
lower class. But it was a nice way to low-key speak the truth right to the king's face without the
risk of getting your head chopped off for it. So if you're a clown, you could be like, aha, I'm a fat king who likes to eat all the food and starve his people.
LOL. And like you can say that because you're a clown. If a normal person said that,
they die. You know that show undercover boss? Yeah. Well, in the middle ages, they had their own
version of that. You see, there would be one day out of the year, usually on New Year's, where the king would have to dress up
in peasant clothes and act like one of the poor people.
Mm.
And the clowns, oh, this was their moment.
They'd get to take over the king's position.
Mm.
The king's like, what do you mean I don't get a lunch break?
Who made these rules?
A similar New Year's tradition was done by Native American tribes
who believed that you could
only be ready to receive wisdom and spiritual growth if you got all your giggles out first.
The Lakota people gave the priests that led the ceremony, the name, HALCA, which means
contrary, or sacred clown.
The sacred clown, just like those Egyptian clown priests we talked about earlier, is another example of people believing that clowns were goofy,
but also kind of wise and spoke the truth, and even turning to them for advice.
Simply put, pretty much cultures throughout all of history knew how important laughter is.
By the 1500s, basically every culture has their own clown.
In Italy, clowns were a huge part of
performance entertainment and their characters were based on the mask that the
actor would wear and each mask had its own kind of personality. Kind of like the
seven dwarves, happy sleepy grumpy horny bus driver. I haven't seen that move in a
while. I think one drove a bus. There was this character called the pantaloon, for example.
Now this one was very horny.
This clown was all about getting that piste and munei.
There was another mask called the Hardly Quint Mask,
and this character caused complete chaos.
So actors would go on stage, put on a mask,
and they would become that character.
That was their version of a clown. So for example, the actor playing Harley Quinn or whatever
would sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on a baseball bat, and then they would whack the bat on the
stage, and it would create this like, being this crazy sound effect, and the audience would
just lose their minds. They're like, what? I mean, have you ever heard of the term slapstick comedy? That's where this word comes from. Slapstick.
Gunpowder, baseball bat. Yeah, I know. That's what I said. So cool. We have clowns who are wearing
masks. We have funny clowns. We had mimes. We had clowns at a few roles and all that, right?
But I know what you're thinking because I was thinking it too.
Where do the big shoes, red cheeks, and crazy hair come from?
History.
We're back.
The first time we see a clown really start to experiment with cartoonish and exaggerated
outfits is in the 17th century.
There was a clown by the name of Pickle herring who lived in Germany and his troop were
some of the first to give clowns that iconic look.
I'm talking those big fluffy collars.
They're called ruffs.
I know, I didn't know that.
The waistcoat, the hats, the crazy colorful outfits, those huge shoes.
He's who we have to thank for that.
And all this sets the stage for the most famous clown of all time.
Joey Grimaldi was born December 18, 1778 in London. His dad, Giuseppe, was a dance instructor
who would do dance performances in front of a live audience in the local theater. Now Giuseppe,
when he was off the stage, he was known for having intimate relationships with his young female students.
Joey was the first boy in the family, so there was a lot of pressure on him to also perform
on stage, just like his daddy.
Unfortunately for Joey, his dad was honestly psychotic.
Truly, just not fully there.
Well he was there, but like, you know, I don't know man.
He would beat his kids, lock them up in cages or whatever.
Even use them as props for his routine. That's not funny, but it's just like this truly crosses man's mind and he was like, this is a great idea.
I'm going to use my children as props. For example, there was like one performance where Joey's dad was like, get in this cage, boy.
And hung the cage above the audience while Giuseppe danced.
Okay, you know, either way it wasn't good for Joey the kid.
He wanted to make his dad proud. Little Joey started acting when he was only two years old
and he quickly started to learn tumbling like flips and shit.
And then he also started to study slapstick comedy.
And he also mastered the art of fake tripping. Oh yeah, yeah. Now
people were losing their shit when they saw Joey fake trip. Now that's a talent. When
Joey was nine years old, sadly his father passed away, which is kind of a good thing maybe.
I'm not sure I want to make an assumption here, but you know, he's free from his abusive
father. The downside, it meant
that he was on his own at nine years old, so not great.
Joey continued clowning around and performing just like his father, probably because it's
like really all he knew.
And he had to, because now he was considered the family breadwinner and everything fell
on this poor kid.
He had to make all the money in order to feed the family.
Again, at nine years old, now everybody in town knew about this kid, Joey the clown.
I mean everybody loved him, and he was selling out shows all over England.
Then he got to the point where he wanted a little makeover, you know, for his character,
maybe just the next chapter
for his character.
So he started to add his own little pizzazz
to the clown costume.
Before Joey came around,
clowns would only sometimes wear makeup,
but this was usually only a little bit of like blush
to make the performer maybe look a little drunk,
but Joey took it to the next level.
He was like, I wanna look fucked up, bro.
So he started covering his entire face and white and red makeup.
Yeah, his process started with slathering on a thick layer of dark grease paint.
All over his skin, every inch of his exposed skin from the chest up.
Even getting all up in his nostrils like he was dedicated.
He would then take a giant powder puff and douse himself in white powder, then apply the rest of his clown makeup. Based off the drawing
I saw of the sky joey, he created the clown makeup we know today. The white face, he drew
on some dark-ass eyebrows. He had red-ass cheeks. Not-ass cheeks, red-ass cheeks. And a red-painted mouth that had that joker smile all extended out.
The full clown, Shippeng.
For Joey, it wasn't enough to do whatever everyone else did and dress up or do like a little red nose.
He wanted to look like a completely different person.
And boy did he.
Clowning took over his entire life.
He was getting cast and tons of shows all over the place, keeping busy,
providing for the family. Then he had to perform and go extremely wrong. While using a gun
for a stunt during one of his shows, Joey accidentally shot himself in the foot.
Now, the audience may have thought it was like super hilarious, but Joey was like,
oh shit, I just shot my foot.
This isn't actually part of the bit, but okay.
Now this ends up putting him out of work
and on bed rest for over a month.
Not great for Joey's mental well-being.
We all remember quarantine.
I feel like a lot of us kind of spiraled.
You know, cause you're like locked in the house
and you're just stuck there with your thoughts
and you're like, oh man, maybe in third grade I I shouldn't have stolen that kids back in cheese, but I did
it for my freedom because I'm wanting a little. And you just, you just like start spiraling, right?
Oh, just me, all right, and fuck me then, you know? And Joey, I guess. Anyways, what I'm
getting at is Joey was locked inside with his thoughts and he was spiraling downhill quickly.
It was said during this time, Joey was described as incredibly depressed.
There was even a story going around that said, Joey went to a doctor to get some help,
and the doctor told him, hey, you should go check out that clown Joey.
He'll cheer you with Frambridge.com.
Well how does one cope when they're feeling down and blue?
Some go on a walk, some try a new hobby, and some unfortunately lean into self-medicating,
and this was the case for Joey.
He would drink his sadness away, eventually leading him down a path of self-destruction.
Many pictures and paintings of him in his later years show him holding a wine bottle.
This my friends is very likely the origin of the sad clown.
Remember the sad clown?
Between drinking and all those crazy physical stunts
he did on stage, Joey's body was breaking down
at a rapid rate.
I mean, he was about 30 years old,
but to him, his body felt like he was 85.
He had arthritis that left him in constant pain.
In fact, it got so bad towards the end
of his career, he had to be carried off stage after performances into his dressing room.
Joy was drinking himself to death. But did he stop drinking? No. Of course not. It's not
that easy, first of all. But like, let him have that one thing. That shit kept continuing to happen to Joey.
Joey would end up having a son, and just like with his dad, his son was now going to
follow in his footsteps.
So much so that he went down a dark path as well.
Sadly for Joey's son, it just didn't end well.
When he was 31 years old, he had died.
I think maybe as you can imagine, Joey, the father, did not take this well.
After the news of his son's death, Joey and his wife, they were totally distraught.
They are devastated.
To the point that they attempted suicide.
Together, it was like a pact they made.
But both of them end up surviving.
And then just five years later, in 1837,
Joey Grimaldi, the OG clown, passed away.
Joey Grimaldi was a famously tragic figure.
He would consider his life equal parts laughs and agony.
He even made a joke about his last name when he was alive,
that it actually stood for Grim all day. all day, grim all day, get it?
It's kind of clever. One of the most famous writers of the 1800s, his name is Charles Dickens,
you know him? He becomes fascinated with this clown Joey Dermalty and even creates a character
inspired by him for a book that he's writing called The Pickwick Papers. And it, a character
runs into the ghost of Joey as he's leaving the theater. It'sapers. And it, a character runs into the ghost of Joey
as he's leaving the theater.
It's a real spooky passage,
so I'm just gonna read like a little bit for you.
Woo!
Woo!
Okay, spooky?
Yeah.
Quote, it was night and the theater was dark.
I don't know how to do a spooky voice, so just pretend I'm spooky right now. It was night and the theater was dark. I don't know how to do a spooky voice,
so just pretend I'm spooky right now.
It was night, and the theatre was dark.
I was dressed to leave, and was crossing the stage
when he tapped me on the shoulder.
Never shall I forget the repulsive sight
that met my eye when I turned around.
Huh!
In all the absurdity of a clown's costume,
his bloated body and shrunken legs, their
deformity enhanced by a hundredfold by the glassy eyes, swicken drusting with a thick white
paint, with which the face was besmirred.
The grotesquely ornamented head, in the long skinny hands gave him a hideous and unnatural appearance.
Which to this day I shudder to think of.
And to go, great, how'd I do?
Right now, many say I should act.
I get it pretty committed.
Anyways, when Joey died in 1837, he was a penniless alcoholic.
Which is kind of sounds harsh, but the terrifying clown ghost he inspired in Dickens writing
goes on to have a big old impact on the world.
I mean, before Joey, people saw clowns as like, these happy go lucky, sometimes wise,
harmless performers.
But after him, people who read Dickens, which was like everyone back then, they were like,
damn, clowns are a brickens, binky.
Around the time of Joey's death,
something else happens to give clowns a bad reputation.
A famous French clown named Jean Gaspar de Burro,
hell yeah, who was a huge celebrity at the time.
This fool ends up killing a little boy.
Yeah, we're gonna get murder mystery makeup real quick.
John is out in the street, and so is this little boy.
I guess this little boy shouted something
that was really rude to John.
And instead of being like, ah, shut up kid,
or just like minding his own business
and just keep going on with his day and his life,
John is like, what did you say, man?
What did you say?
What was that, bro?
You wanna say that to my face, bro?
And he comes for the kid.
Now John, at this time he's walking with a stick.
He's pissed off for no damn reason.
At this little kid, he goes up to this little boy
and whack, whacks him right in the head,
trying to teach him a lesson or something.
But unfortunately, this John man,
he smacked a little too hard,
and he ended up killing this boy on the spot,
accident or murder.
You decide, I think we can all say murder,
because he could have just minded his own damn business.
Kids are mean, we know this, just keep walking.
Anyways, he taught that boy a lesson,
but something comes along and changes
the entertainment scene forever.
Instead of famous clowns with their own shows,
people are spending their money to go to the circus! T-t- you there, Paul? No, you were there.
That was fucked up, I know.
And since circuses had so much going on,
the clowns didn't have to be that funny.
Or even that talented.
They could just like dress up and be a clown
and there wasn't really any personality to the shows
or their acts because the circus was all about
the spectacle, you know, the animals' encages, the flashy lights,
the bright costumes, and fancy horse tricks.
What I'm saying is that no one was going to the circus
just for clowns.
Thanks to Joey's legacy, clowns really just had to slap
on some white face paint of red nose and act drunk.
A little dark.
In 1876, a French critic said that the clowns were getting to be,
quote, terrifying and full of anxiety. He called their tricks, quote, suicidal. And said the whole
thing or minded him of, quote, the courtyard of a lunatic asylum. And quote, so yeah, clowns were
now becoming your drunk uncle that you didn't wanna see on Christmas.
Now, as the circus reaches America in the mid 1800s,
so does clowning.
And this is when someone puts a little meaning
back into being a clown and starts using their platform
to speak some truth to power,
bringing it all the way back to its roots.
Remember those gestures?
They were like roasting royalty. Yeah, and you could get away with it, love it. That was
coming back, yes. A guy named Dan Rice who started in the circus writing horses
actually becomes one of America's first celebrities by joking about taboo
things like sex, singing parody songs about politicians, and making fun of authority
figures.
Now this guy, Rice, grew out his beard, so he could do a little parody skit pretending
to be Uncle Sam.
And his career really took off after that.
People were like, yeah, he knows what Uncle Sam now.
Like that's all it took.
Mark Twain even called him the great American humorist.
And by the 1860s, Rice was so successful
that he was getting paid $1,000 a week.
That's a lot.
That's like getting $35,000 a week today.
Goddamn, I want to be a clown.
Oh wait, already am.
But just like Joey, Rice was a big time alcoholic and he wasted a lot of his money on booze.
And one day, probably after a long night of drinking, he went,
you know what? I'm hilarious. People love me. I should be
the president of the United States, eh?
So what do you do? He dreams big and he ran for president in 1867.
But shockingly, no one wanted to elect easy fibers and off.
Plus, phrase should be.
So how did we go from depressed alcoholic clowns performing for adults to people in big shoes selling hamburgers
and performing at kids parties?
Well, in 1946, a music executive named Alan Livingston was trying to figure out a way to sell records to not just adults, but children.
So he comes up with a friendly singing clown character named Bozo! And boy, did kids love him.
Bozo had flaming red hair, a big squishy red nose, and the same white makeup red smile looked
that Joey had over in England.
Now he was known for doing funny songs between famous characters in pop culture, like a
Tweety Bird and Sylvester the Cat.
Bozo eventually becomes so famous that he got his own cartoon show.
Then someone bought the rights to Bozo and ran with it.
They put Bozo on toys on snacks.
Clocks, shirts, you name it, Bozo was...
Kidz loved him. And parents felt comfortable letting their children watch his shows and wear his merch.
But it wasn't just kids that loved him. Adults actually really liked Bozo as well.
In Chicago, Bozo had his own live audience television program and whole
families would tune in and watch together. And once clowns were officially family
friendly, every company wanted it. So like in the 60s, there was a restaurant that
reached out to the actor who was playing Bozo at the time. And asked if he would
help them come up with a clown look in mascot to attract more children. Now get
this. The mascot they created, well
it was none other than the famous Ronald McDonald's. I love hamburgers. Okay but let me tell
you the OG Ronald's. He was rough. He was not so enhammerbers. He was originally a larger
man and his clown outfit was this combo between man and fast food clown.
So instead of a red nose, he actually had a little McDonald's cup on his nose. His hat was like
this big ass tray of McDonald's food and he wore a magic belt that could dispense hamburgers.
My question, where were those hamburgers coming from?
And why was it by his crotch?
You know, that's what I was thinking.
Is that where hamburgers come from, Mom?
Mom, I'm scared.
Can you pick me up?
It didn't help that.
The first Ronald McDonald commercials
showed Ronald essentially telling a little boy,
I know you can't trust strangers,
but you can trust clowns like me,
Ronald McDonald. Honestly, I'm easy to lure with some fries in a milkshake, but for the most part
that's really creepy, but it worked, I think, because where are we now? So the pub with
Must've Thoughts O2, because they eventually gave Ronald McDonald a makeover. They get rid of
that burger belt and the nose, and he loses his big belly.
I think the main reason that they did that was because they didn't want people thinking that
their food made people gain weight, which is funny, but not really. It's like same shit,
different era. Despite their rebrand, that creepy McDonald's commercial that told kids like,
definitely did some damage,
because it may have given one guy a few ideas.
Someone who ends the public's trust in clowns forever.
I feel like you guys can guess where this might be going.
That's right.
John Wayne, Gacy.
Now I'm not gonna go into too much detail about him
because I did do a story over on my murder mystery makeup. You can go check it out. I'll link it down below.
But long story short, Gacy was a serial killer. And between 1972 and 1978, he killed 35 people,
and he loved dressing up like clown. Now this guy, he freaking ruined clowns for everyone.
He even inspired Stephen King to write a few horror stories about evil clowns.
In 1982, King wrote a story that inspired the movie Poltergeist, which features a terrifying
clown doll that drags a little girl into an evil spear world. A few years later, King writes
another story about an evil clown named Pennywise. Now this book was called It. Maybe you've heard of it? Maybe It ruined
your childhood. Either way, it's official baby clowns are scary. Thanks Mr. King.
Well, not really. John Wayne Gacy, you little fucker. So now the public wants
really nothing to do with clowns. This sets the stage for one of the creepiest
eras in American history. The year is 1981. A couple of kids come home super freaked out
one night. They go to their parents telling them that a van had pulled up next to them, the door
opened, and a couple of guys dressed as clowns tried to lure them into the van. They were offering
money. Gandhi, lollipops, ice cream, puppies. No adults saw these creepy clowns,
but a bunch of kids said they did.
So the parents are naturally freaked out,
thinking creepy clowns are trying to snatch their kids,
and this would come to be known as the Phantom Clown Panic.
Now the parents didn't know if their kids were making things
up or if this was true,
but it doesn't matter because people start taking precautions
in treating it as if this is indeed a real thing.
So the parents report the incidents to authorities,
but the police, they can't do much.
They couldn't find these phantom clowns
people are talking about,
and kids just keep reporting more incidents.
To this day, no one has an answer as to how or why all this happened.
I mean, they could still be out there today. Wait. I dot com. Code dark history.
Clown panic is still a thing to this day. In 2016, someone called the police saying there was
a group of clowns just hanging out in the woods, and it just gave that person a bad feeling.
I mean, hello, if you were out in the woods
and you saw clowns hanging in the woods, uh-uh.
Clowns saying, oh, it's going on.
Some kind of clown ritual abuse is happening
in that direction, and I don't want anything to do with it.
So, okay, like, why are all these people dressed up?
Why are they hanging out in the woods?
What reason could they have?
Well, the following day, police receive another phone call
from a frantic woman saying that there was a group
of clowns in the woods, flashing green laser lights, aliens?
I don't know.
After that, people just kept spotting clowns
in the woods everywhere.
And they were freaked the fuck out.
This is 1981, all over again.
People are thinking clowns are trying to get our kids
into the woods and like smash them up.
So this guy in North Carolina was like,
I'm taking matters into my own hands.
And when he spotted a clown in the woods near his house,
he picked up a big ass machete
and then chased the clown through the woods.
So I mean, like it was real, like people weren't making stuff up.
Or they?
I guess he got away, but clowns didn't learn their lesson.
There was something called stalker clowns,
which started showing up in groups on the streets
in parking lots, just lurking around
and scaring people for fun.
And like, I guess like, look, it's the group of clowns that really freaks people out.
One clown, I could take them, you know?
Group of clowns, no, I'm busy.
I got things to do, not today.
Group of clowns, not today.
Over in Texas, there was another clown
spotted on a security camera trying to break into someone's home
with a knife at 2 a.m.
Police couldn't keep up with all these clown calls
that are coming in.
They told the public they investigated,
but I couldn't find anything.
They were basically like, sorry,
just stay away from clowns if you see them.
We don't see them.
A few months later, it came out that some of the clown sightings
were just a bunch of jerks trying to get press
for their low budget horror film.
And honestly,
kind of a smart campaign, but not really because we don't even know the name of this low-budget horror film. But there was an attempt. I'm not mad at it. Despite all that bad news, clowning continues to
be an art form that some people take very seriously. And one of the most prestigious places you can study to be a clown. A French
acting school called le cock. Le cock. Le cock. Don't laugh this is serious because Jacques
Géz, le cock, decided to open that acting school in Paris. But it had a significant focus
on clowning. This type of clowning that he taught was focused on physical humor, like slapstick,
mimeing, and fake falls.
Fake falls, that's where it's at, that's where the money's at, yuh, yuh.
They were really using their body more than their words or costume to make people laugh.
But one of the most famous acting schools in the world is probably, Ecole, Philippe
Gallier, which also started in France France and really leaned into clowning.
Look, I'm sorry for butchering these names I'm trying, but I'm not French, you know?
But it's like I want to talk about these things.
What do you do?
This guy though, he taught students that the audience doesn't laugh when the clown wants
them to, because what's actually funny is, quote, the face of the idiot who has tried
to make us laugh and failed. And quote, oh, that's so sad. Sounds like something my mother would say.
Anyway, he would send his students up one by one to perform physical comedy routines. By the way,
it was mandatory to wear a red clown nose while performing for him. But if you didn't make him laugh immediately, he would bang his drum that he carried around
with him everywhere, I guess.
And that meant you were done.
He was like, it's a focal of my stage.
Anyways, he believed that if the audience didn't like you from the second, you entered the
stage.
They never would.
It's deep.
He was famously a tough critic. And going
through his school was like joining a frat house. You were gonna get hazed. You
were gonna get picked on. But if you made it through, you were in, baby. Even
clown college is in America's pre-tough I hear. A graduate of a clown training
program here in America says that percentage wise it's more difficult
getting a child clown college than Harvard Law School. In fact the admission rate
to wringling clown school was just 1%
DREAM! Who would have known it was so tough to be a clown? I know plenty of guys who do it without even
trying. Ah! So what do we learn today friends? Laughing seems to play a big role in everyone's day
today lives. Laughter can bring a sense of community. It can make others feel connected with one
another. It's a release of tension. Laughing is a way to cope with shitty circumstances. The other
day I was on the toilet as one does and I came up with this great theory.
It was like a little white bull moment. What if clowns worked on the inside?
What if clowns were working with the kings and queens and they were like, hey, the king's like,
go distract them really quick. You know, like they they don't have any food, but go make them laugh.
Look over here.
I've got big shoes on, I'm a clown.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Don't look over there.
Taxes are being invented.
Look over here, big shoes, big shoes.
That's what I was thinking,
but I mean, it's just a thought I had on the toilet.
And that's why I'm sharing it.
Like, I don't know, I feel like I could be goofy.
I don't think we physically see
that the traditional clown anymore, right?
With the makeup and stuff besides Ronald's
from Ronald McDonald.
But I think our new clowns are actually stand-up comedians,
right? They stand on stage.
They say stuff that out loud
that a lot of us don't wanna say out loud.
They make us laugh.
They are clowns.
I think the best part about clowns
is that they can make us feel seen.
They don't necessarily change anything.
They don't really do anything.
I'm sorry, clowns, no offense.
But they bring out the goofy part of us.
Maybe the parts were like a little embarrassed
to show other people.
They say the things that we can't say out loud.
You know, laughing is the same in every language.
It brings people together.
You can't live or love without laugh.
Aw.
I want to put that on a pillow.
I mean, we're all gonna die anyways.
We might as well laugh on the way out.
Let me flip my ruffles.
Sassy.
I'm a sassy clown.
Okay, well everyone, thank you for learning with me today.
Remember, don't be afraid to ask questions
to get the whole story because you deserve that.
I'd love to hear your guys' reactions to today's story.
So make sure to use the hashtag dark history
over on social media so I can follow along
and see what you're saying.
Or join me over on my YouTube
where you can watch these episodes on Thursday
after the podcast airs.
And while you're there,
also catch my murder mystery and makeup.
I hope you have a great day today.
You make good choices
and I'll be talking to you next week.
Bye, Bozo.
Dark History is an audio boom original.
This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Kimberly Jacobs,
Junior McNeely from Three Arts, Kevin Grush, and Claire Turner from Made in Network.
Writers, Katie Burris, Allison Filoboas, Joey Skluzo, and me, Bailey Sarian.
Shot and edited by Tafadzwa Nimmeruandwe, and Lily Young, and I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. Shot and edited by Tafadzwa Nimmeruindway and Lily Young and I'm your host, Bailey Sarian.
Laughing is great.
Wow, Bailey, that was super inspiring.
I know, I know.
I know.
That was good. you