Darknet Diaries - 128: Gollumfun (Part 1)
Episode Date: November 15, 2022Brett Johnson, AKA Gollumfun (twitter.com/GOllumfun) was involved with the websites Counterfeit Library and Shadow Crew. He tells his story of what happened there and some of the crimes he co...mmitted.SponsorsSupport for this show comes from Axonius. The Axonius solution correlates asset data from your existing IT and security solutions to provide an always up-to-date inventory of all devices, users, cloud instances, and SaaS apps, so you can easily identify coverage gaps and automate response actions. Axonius gives IT and security teams the confidence to control complexity by mitigating threats, navigating risk, decreasing incidents, and informing business-level strategy — all while eliminating manual, repetitive tasks. Visit axonius.com/darknet to learn more and try it free.Support for this show comes from Linode. Linode supplies you with virtual servers. Visit linode.com/darknet and get a special offer.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You grew up in Kentucky.
What was your...
I was an Army brat.
Okay.
What was your first crime?
First crime was shoplifting.
My mom, and I've spoken about this a few times, but I'm from eastern Kentucky.
Hazard.
Hazard is coal country.
My dad was coming out of the military.
He was a captain in the Army, helicopter pilot.
Army downsizes, he gets booted out. He goes back to mining coal,
is what he does, strip mining. So a bulldozer operator is what he was doing. My mom was a nurse,
an LPN, and she worked long enough to see dad off to work. And then she would go out and we
call it whoring around. She would go out and party with other men. Just, I mean, just horrible, horrible stuff.
And just abuse out the wazoo from,
I remember one time me and my sister come home.
I was probably eight or nine, my sister a year younger.
And the bus drops us off.
The hood of the car is up.
So we walked by like, that's odd.
We walk in.
Denise asks mom.
So we walk in.
Mom is sitting on the sofa in the living room with her legs crossed, acting all chill.
I was like, what's wrong?
What's up?
Where's dad?
I don't know, she said. I look on the floor and I see like pieces of marble
broken off. The TV is pulled out from the wall. And I was like, what is this?
So there's some spaghetti on the stove. We go to get some. My mom's like, no, no, don't,
don't touch that. Don't touch that. That's for your father. Well, what had happened was my mom had cut the spark plug wires on the car so dad couldn't get away.
She cuts the cable behind the TV so that when he goes to turn the TV on, there's no signal.
You know, you just got the snow on there.
So he gets behind the TV trying to see what's going on.
As he bends over the TV, she takes a marble statue, clocks him in the head with it.
The spaghetti on the stove had rat
poison in it. So he had ended up walking, I forget how many miles, to the hospital. And he still has
a piece of that marble like in his skull. But of course, with us, her story when we got home was,
I don't know where he is. I don't know. I don't know why that's on the floor.
That was my mom.
And this is not atypical.
I remember that when my dad,
the one time he tried to divorce her,
me and my dad were living in an apartment.
My mom had my sister.
My mom climbs in the window of the apartment.
I wake up hearing this, you know,
this noise in the living room, walk in,
and my mom's got a knife to my dad's throat, threatening to kill him.
That was my mom.
And she was a criminal.
What was she so bent on killing him for?
My mom's problem was she always, and it's weird with her.
I think it's because of the way she grew up.
She grew up abused as well.
But her issue is that she
always had to test people's love. If I do this to you, will you still love me? If I sleep around on
you, will you still love me? If I threaten to kill you, will you still love me? If I abuse the kids
or neglect the kids, will they still love me? My dad was so crazy about my mom that he put up with
it and he became the enabler of the family.
He was scared of losing her.
But I get the worst parts from mom and dad.
From my mom, I get that criminal mindset.
From my dad, I get that fear of the people that I love leaving me.
And that's a lot of the reason that I break crime historically.
It's for cash.
But I use cash to buy love. These are true stories from the dark side of the internet.
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So today we're going to hear the wild and crazy story of Brett Johnson. This is one of those
stories that I was very skeptical at first, like no way did he do all this. But after talking with some people who knew him
and reading all the police reports, it checks out.
Oh, and I should mention there are a fair bit of swear words in this episode,
and it has some adult and mature content.
So, fair warning.
Brett grew up in a weird situation.
His dad was no stranger to doing illegal things.
For instance, his dad was a helicopter pilot in the military,
and one time his dad tried to sell some stolen hand grenades.
And after the military, his dad tried running drugs back and forth to Mexico
as a helicopter pilot.
And at one point, he even tried becoming a cop
with the sole idea that he was going to do a drug bust
and somehow keep the money he
confiscated. When all those plans fizzled out and the family had no money, that's when Brett's mom
decided to take the kids and run. At that point in time, we were in Panama City, Florida.
My mom leaves my dad. We thought we were, me and Denise thought we were coming up to Kentucky
for a funeral, and we weren't. Well, I mean, there was a funeral, but we thought we were only going
to be gone a week, so we packed enough clothes for a week. My dad thought we were only going to be
gone for a week, and I don't see my dad again for, geez, I don't know, 10 years, something like that.
His mom took the kids and moved to Panama City, Florida.
And they moved in with her parents.
Her dad was just as crazy, super strict, and pretty abusive.
Just to give you an idea, they weren't allowed to eat any of Grandpa's food.
And they weren't allowed to make any noise after dark.
And he was very strict on how much water they could use.
For instance, he wouldn't even let them fill up the bathtub. And both Brett and his sister Denise did not want to be around Grandpa when he gets
angry. We had no soap. Right. We had really very little clothes. I mean, two pairs of panties.
And you weren't allowed to wash them. Or you'd have to wash them by hand. There was that, you know.
I remember going over to Pizza Hut and stealing the soap from Pizza Hut so I could bring it back and wash my underwear in the sink with the
soap, you know, but I had to be careful because if he knew I was doing that, I was wasting water
and that would set him off. And if you set him off, his goal was to kill you. And it was, I mean,
we had that round table in the kitchen upstairs in their house.
And there were times when he would get the butcher knife on you
and you'd do the little dance around the table until he got tired.
And then he would finally sit down and he would look at you and say,
don't let me catch you, I'll kill you.
Or he'd get really upset and then he'd go looking for his gun.
And that's time for you to leave.
Yeah, so you'd leave for a while and come back in a few hours.
But I remember them saying to us, your parents are sorrier than well shit, and we should not have to feed you.
And they didn't want to feed us.
No.
So, mom had been gone for a few days.
She started partying, using drugs, everything else like she was doing.
We didn't have any food in the house, and I was the guy that was scared that Mom wasn't going to come home
because she'd tell us that we'd find her dead someplace, that she was going to commit suicide,
that she'd given up her life for us, everything else.
So she'd been gone. I'm worried she's not coming back.
Denise never worried at back. Denise never
worried at all. Denise was just always mad at her. We were living downstairs from my grandfather. He
converted the downstairs into apartments and we weren't allowed to go upstairs to eat.
They just wouldn't let us. And this one time I was 10, my sister Denise was nine.
So Denise walks in one day and she's got a pack of pork chops in her hand. And I was like, where'd you get that?
And she was like, I stole it. And I'm like, show me how you did that sister. So she takes me over
to A&P and we, she shows me how she's stuffing, you know, meat and everything down her pants.
And I'm like, well, we can eat. So we, we start stealing food and we look, look across the way
because we were wanting to make sandwiches. That's the actual story is we were wanting to make sandwiches.
Well, you can't stuff a loaf of bread down your pants.
Well, Kmart was across the way.
So we went over there and stole a hoodie
so we could stuff bread down the sleeves of the hoodie.
That's when we found out, hey, we can shoplift clothes
and then books, games, jewelry, toys, all that stuff.
Mom finally comes home and sees, you know,
the new Intellivision that I'm playing and everything else. And where'd that come from? And I looked at her and said, all that stuff. Mom finally comes home and sees, you know, the new Intellivision
that I'm playing and everything else. And where'd that come from? And I looked at her and said,
oh, we found it. And she's like, no, you didn't find that. Denise stands up, never lies at all.
Denise stands up. We stole it. My mom, my mom looks at my sister and then, I mean, she's like,
show me how you did it. Not only does she join us, but she goes and gets her mom to join us as well.
So it's grandmother, mom, me and my sister taking these road trips to different malls to steal
clothes. And well, they stole clothes and jewelry. I'd always go to the bookstore first and steal
books because I like to read a lot. And we were at the Fort Henry Thomas Mall in Bristol, Tennessee.
They had dropped me off at the B. Dalton bookstore.
They had went in JCPenney's and we were supposed to meet back at the vehicle, I think like at 1,
1.30. Well, I came back with a load of books, nobody's there. So I'm standing around about
30 minutes like, okay, where are they? And I'm only like 10. So I'm like, where are they?
So I wait a while. Finally, I'm like, okay, I got to go in and find them. So I stuffed the books
under the blazer, walk into JCPenney's. As I I'm like, okay, I got to go in and find them. So I stuffed the books under the blazer,
walk into JCPenney's.
As I'm walking in, there's two security guards standing right in the entryway there.
And I hear my name, Brett Johnson,
come over one of the walkie talkies.
And I'm like, hey, that's me.
And they're like, that's you.
And I was like, yeah, they're like, come with us.
So I go, they take me to the security room
and my mom and grandmother,
they're huddled in a corner, crying, screaming,
telling everybody they didn't do it, didn't mean to. This is the first time we've ever done it.
Denise is in the opposite corner. I mean, she's just, I mean, Denise is ballistic, just angry,
staring holes through like she could kill him right there. That's the first crime that I committed
there. That marked the end of his sister's criminal behavior.
She totally stopped shoplifting after that.
But this was the beginning of Brett's criminal career.
He continued to shoplift and steal, never getting caught for it either.
Then he watched as his mom did criminal acts too.
His mom was shoplifting, and he learned she was drug trafficking.
And she would sometimes call random
people to try to get them to donate to a charity, but they were really just giving her money instead.
And this is called charity fraud. She even tried to steal heavy equipment sometimes.
She was kind of an opportunistic criminal, getting involved with whatever came her way,
and Brett was watching it all. And after some years of this, Brett started talking with his dad again,
but only over the phone.
His dad had his own issues.
He was breaking the law and stuff too.
And when Brett was 15, he got his first taste of jail.
When I was 15, I was in eastern Kentucky.
My dad had called.
I called him, and he said he was getting married.
And I was always of the opinion that I was going to, you know, that dad was going to save us.
So he said he was getting married.
I went to the hospital.
I was at the hospital on a pay phone there.
Got in an elevator and ended up assaulting a woman that got on the elevator with me.
I just, I guess I snapped or whatever.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I was 15 at that point.
I was charged with assault in first degree.
So they put me in solitary for six months.
Why do you think the news from your father getting married caused this?
I think that was the last, and I don't think it caused it. I think that it was,
looking back now, I think that I just, I had taken mentally as much as I could because it turns out
the woman looked a lot like mom. So I think that I had just, with that final news of dad, I think,
I think that I'd always been the guy that thought it took me to save me.
And I've lived my entire life like that.
If you're going to do something, do it yourself.
But when I heard that from him, I think that childhood, that small part of having hope of somebody saving me was finally gone. And maybe I realized that, uh, that just wasn't
going to happen. So I, I, I don't like to make excuses for that because, uh, it was a horrible,
horrible thing. And, um, I've, uh, I've lived my life. I mean, every single day I've thought about that. And I wanted to mention that because I think it's important.
I think it's important to the story and everything.
This is going to be a heavy episode.
Brett pleads guilty to this assault and goes to juvenile detention for a few months
and starts attending high school in Hazard, Kentucky.
This is where he finds a teacher
who saw potential in Brett. He excelled in academics and drama in high school, and because
he was doing well, he actually stayed away from crime for the most part. He graduated high school
and wanted to be an actor, and he had some scholarship offers, but ended up just going to
the community college there. He gets a part in a play. Then the head of the theater department from the San Jose State University in California
came to see his play and saw Brett's performance.
As soon as he sees it, he comes up to me.
He's like, I'll give you a full ride scholarship if you want to come to San Jose State right now.
And I looked at him.
I was like, done.
Let's do this.
So I agreed to the scholarship.
He tells me it's going to be great.
He actually says, hey, you're a big fish in a small pond. I'll make sure you're a big fish in
a big pond. You'll go someplace. So I was like, let's do this. So he's like, I'll be back in a
week. So he leaves. He flies back down in a week. He drives to my house. We were living in airport
gardens at that point. I'm shooting basketball with some friends. He pulls to my house. We were living in airport gardens at that point.
I'm shooting basketball with some friends. He pulls up. I come over to meet him. I was like,
hey, let me walk in and I'll introduce you to my mom. And he's like, no, he said, I can go in and meet her. I was like, all right. So he goes in and he's in there, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes,
something like that. He comes out, never says a word, gets in the car, leaves. And I didn't know
what had happened. Find out, I don't know, a couple of weeks later, I find out that my mom,
he goes in to meet her and talk to her and tell her, you know, the opportunity that I've gotten,
everything else like that. She pulls a knife on him and says, you know, I will, she had this line
she used to say, she said, I will cut you from gizzard to sternum, and you're not going to steal my son from me.
That scares the man to death.
And, of course, the scholarship and all that goes out the window at that point.
That, I don't know, I guess part of that kind of broke me of leaving.
There were similar problems going on with his sister.
She was older by this point and going to college too, but her mom had a tight grip on her. of leaving. There were similar problems going on with his sister.
She was older by this point and going to college too,
but her mom had a tight grip on her and didn't want her to go away
and was doing very manipulative things to keep her.
But the people at the college, about 90 minutes away,
saw a glimpse of what Denise was going through
and gave her a full scholarship
and a place to stay and even protected her.
This gave Denise the chance she needed to escape the bad gravity of her mom
and get an education and get on her feet.
She became a teacher, and a pretty good one, winning teacher of the year even,
and she stayed clear of any criminal behavior.
So I continued in community college, had a girlfriend that was a preacher's daughter,
and those were very, very decent people. For the most part, I didn't think about breaking
the law or anything else. That relationship fell apart after five years, and I met my
first wife. Her name was Susan. Susan wanted out a home out of Hazard, Kentucky, and I knew that
I kind of used that as a way to
get out of Hazard myself. So I faked a car accident. I bought this little Chevy Spectrum
and I figured, hey, what I can do is I can cover its ass up with insurance,
make sure I get the insurance where they pay for lost wages as well. That way I'll have a
steady paycheck coming in. Fake the accident, go on like that. Well, my cousin Ronnie,
he hears that I'm going to fake the accident. He comes up to me. He's like, hey, can I get in on
that with you? And I was like, sure, man, let's do this. So the day that we're faking the wreck,
Ronnie goes to the dentist, has the dentist pull a tooth, tells the dentist, no, no, no,
don't pack it with gauze or anything. Just leave it like it is. So here Ronnie is.
He's got this tooth pulled.
We're riding up in the head of a hollow to fake this accident.
We end up pushing the car over a hill.
Then we climb down the hill and climb it back up.
So it looks like we've done something.
We walk our way out of the hollow, hitchhike to the hospital,
and file this claim of an accident. And I get the money to move from
Hazard, Kentucky to Lexington, Kentucky to go to school. And what happens is at that point,
again, I'm the guy that it's never been enough for me to show a love and a healthy relationship.
I've always went overboard, way the hell overboard. So I told Susan, I was like,
hey, don't worry about getting a job. You just go to school. Yeah, I've got the job. So I told Susan, I was like, Hey, don't worry about getting a job. You
just go to school. Yeah, I've got the job. And I got a job working at Lexmark texting,
testing printer cards. And that was, that was an 18 hour, no, I'm sorry. It was a 12 hour shift,
three days a week is what that was. So here I am busting my ass doing that. I've got an 18 hour
class load. I'm not only doing that, all that, but I'm doing all the cooking and cleaning.
Susan's going, she's never been away from home before, so that's hitting her pretty hard. It's arguments every single day
and all that. Something had to give. And what gave was the job. I just couldn't do it. So I
quit the job and immediately start into fraud. First types of fraud I started into was telemarketing
fraud. So telemarketing and charity fraud. I was working for the Shriner Circus, selling circus tickets, making really good money doing that.
As soon as that ended, they transitioned over to the Kiwanis Club, selling money for food baskets, or selling food baskets for the food centers.
You'd pay for a food basket like $40, you'd buy a half basket for $20.
I steal their phone list, go out and start my own Kiwanis Club.
I get arrested doing that.
He spends three months in jail.
And with no money coming in, his wife had no choice
but to go back and live with her parents in Hazard, Kentucky.
And when he gets out of jail, he goes and lives with his wife
in her parents' house. But just as he's getting out, his wife's father bought the family a new
Hewlett-Packard computer. They're over there, you know, playing games, playing Duke Nukem and all
that. I'm sitting there going, well, how do you make money on that? So that's what I find eBay.
And then eBay leads into all this other stuff.
eBay basically leads into watching Inside Edition one night.
They've got, you know, talking about Beanie Babies.
The first crime I really committed online was that.
I was watching this thing about Peanut the Royal Blue Elephant.
He was going for $1,500 on eBay.
I'm sitting there going, need to find me a peanut
so I you know I was taking classes at the community college in Hazard and I was like okay
find me a peanut so I go around all the little gift gift card stores in the area and everything
can't find the damn thing they had all these little gray elephants online I was like okay
so I buy the gray elephant pay eight dollars for that buy a pack of blue dye, go back and start trying to dye the little guy.
Can't dye him at all because he's made out of polyester.
You get him out, I'm serious, you get him out, he's blotchy, looks like he's got the manes and everything else.
I'm like, I'm not going to make money doing that.
So I look around and find a picture of a real one online, post it, the lady wins the bid.
And that history of that scam
mentality that I had already, that kicks in at that point. I'm like, okay, I can't wait for her
to contact me. I'll contact her. That way it sets the tone of the conversation. So I sent her an
email and I was like, hey, we've not dealt before. I don't know if I can trust you. I've got the
animal. What I need you to do is send me a US postal money order. It's issued by the government.
It protects both of us. It makes sure I get my money. And because it's issued by the government,
it protects you as well. She believed that. She sent me a U.S. postal money order, two of them,
for $1,500. The reason I wanted a U.S. postal, it's very difficult to cancel that postal money
order. And you can take it to the post office and cash it out as well. You don't have to have
the bank account. So she sent me that. I went to the post office, cashed them out, sent her this
mangy looking animal, get a call right after that. As soon as she receives it, I didn't order this.
My response was, lady, you ordered a blue elephant and I sent you a blue-ish elephant.
And I kept putting her off. She kept calling and bitching and complaining because I did this under my real name. She kept calling and bitching and everything, and I kept putting her off,
and finally, she just disappears. And that's where I learned, I talk about this a lot,
that first lesson of cybercrime, that if you delay a victim long enough, if you just keep putting
them off, a lot of them get so exasperated, they literally throw their hands up in the air,
walk away, and you don't hear from them again. And to this day, most victims of scams and cybercrime, they never really complain to law
enforcement at all. So it really reinforces the idea of that criminal activity. You know,
no one's complaining, so you can keep right on going with it. By this point, Brett is in his
mid-20s, and I stopped him here to try to recap what his criminal activity has been up until this
point. But this just reminded him of so many more crimes he committed.
One of the things I got away with, there was a baseball card shop in Hazard, Kentucky.
And I got it in my head that I could go in and steal the cards one night
and take them a couple of states away and resell them.
So here I am.
I break into the shop, you know, 2 o'clock in the morning
and didn't know they had a silent alarm.
So two o'clock in the morning,
I'm in there stealing cards and everything else.
And all of a sudden the hazard police pull up,
lights flashing and everything else.
And they see me inside.
So before they can get inside,
I had actually broken in through the wall in the back
and the river was outside as well.
So I make it outside as the cops are coming around the back.
I make it outside.
One of the cops actually grabs my arm.
I wrestle away from him, dive in the river,
and swim down the river and get up getting away like that.
So I did not get arrested on that.
There was another episode where I had...
Every little story, you got like a million stories. I can't do them all.
There's a lot of criminal activity. There was an instance where I broke into the
Hazard Community College. I actually camped out. I found a place to hide until everyone had left.
So again, like two o'clock in the morning, I come out and I start stealing computers at Hazard Community College and resold those.
I mean, there's a whole list of criminal activity.
You could write like 10 books at this point, man.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Okay.
Yeah, so you're trying to keep track
of the criminal activity
and it's not that I'm trying to leave it out.
It's just, there's so damn much that I forget some of it.
So after he started getting into computer crime,
learning how to scam people on eBay,
then he started selling pirated software,
like charging people for just a trial version or some bootleg copies of the software.
So I got a lot of my inspiration from watching Bill O'Reilly
bitch about things on Inside Edition. And one of the shows. So I got a lot of my inspiration from watching Bill O'Reilly bitch about things on
Inside Edition. And one of the shows he was talking on was they were selling autographed
baseballs of Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire. So I'm watching that and they were selling them on eBay.
And I think at that point in time, they were 60 or $80 is what they were selling them for on eBay.
I'm sitting there watching it like, you know, why not? So I skipped class the next day,
go down to the sports store. I think it was Academy. I go down to Academy, walk in, I buy a
case of Major League Baseballs, stop by Kroger on the way home, buy a Sharpie pen, go home and start
trying to sign these things and find out pretty quick that, hey, you know what? It's pretty hard
to forge a signature on a round baseball.
So I'm looking at these signatures. It doesn't look a damn thing like the signature I'm seeing
online. So the next idea I get is like, I'm like, okay, well, I'll print out a certificate
of authenticity. I'll make it look like they've signed it right after the game.
And that's why it doesn't look quite right, but it'll come with a, you know,
a COA. So I print out my own certificates of authenticity, put the entire case of baseballs
up, you know, one by one on eBay, sell the entire case at $60 apiece. A couple of weeks later,
me and my wife were sitting at home, you know, it's at night and we get that cop knock, that
bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. So, you know, even if you've never been, a cop's never knocked on your door, you know that's a cop knock at that point.
So I get up.
Susan is looking at me.
She's sitting on his couch.
I get up, open the door, and at the door is Sergeant Pat Tingle and a detective.
Now, Pat Tingle, I come to know his name pretty well because he keeps visiting me over the next few months.
But he looks at me.
Susan stands up.
He looks at me.
He's like, are you Brett Johnson?
I'm like, yeah.
He's like, mind if we come in?
I was like, yeah, come on in.
So he walks in.
Susan doesn't even look at them.
She's just looking at me the entire time.
Sergeant Tingle, he looks at me.
He's like, I want to talk to you about some baseballs.
I was like, yeah. He's like, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire. And I was like, yes, sir. He's like,
autograph. I was like, yes, sir. He's like, where'd you get them? I was like, I got them off eBay.
You bought them off eBay. Yes, sir. With certificates of authenticity. Yes, sir.
Mr. Johnson, we've got a sample of their signatures down at the station
And it doesn't look anything like what you're selling
And I'm like, oh, it comes with a certificate of authenticity
He's like, Mr. Johnson, we think that you signed those baseballs
I was like, no, sir
And we think that you printed off those certificates
No, sir
Susan the entire time,
is looking right at me. So he's like, Mr. Johnson, you're going to send these people their money back
or we're going to put you in jail. Do you understand? I was like, yes, sir. So they leave.
I look over. Susan has not, she has not looked at them the entire time. She's just looked at me.
She's not said a single word. Now, up until this point, she doesn't know that I'm a criminal.
So the door shuts. I look over at her and I'm like, what? And she's like, you son of a bitch.
That's why you bought those goddamn baseballs. And I'm like, yeah. So that's when she found out I was a criminal. We're going to take a short break here. Stay with us.
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So did you get arrested for the fake autograph baseball thing?
No, no, no, no. That's one of the things you see about, and even today you see that a lot
about cybercrime and scams and fraud, is law enforcement will identify the person. But it's such a low
level at that point or such a hassle that they basically just come in and say, hey, send the
money back to these people, okay? Well, the only thing that tells someone like me or, you know,
because there's this whole mindset with these online criminals. The only thing that really
tells someone is, hey, I got away with it. I just need to make sure I'm more careful next time. And that's exactly what happens. And you also learn
that, hey, you only return the money to the people who are complaining. So you're profiting at the
same time. All right. And that continues this trajectory. So you become an even better criminal
and basically law enforcement, that consequence of just law enforcement visiting,
trains you to become more careful the next time. He was 26 years old when that happened.
And after that, he learned how to install mod chips in PlayStations. And he was good at this.
And he was starting to do it as a service. Like anyone who needed a mod chip installed,
they could come and pay him to do it and he'd get it done. And there was no scam here. It was just something he enjoyed doing for cash.
So I was installing mod chips.
I actually, I had partnered with the Electronic Games Boutique
in the Fayette County Mall at that point
so that any PlayStation 1 they sold,
the kids that were selling them to these people would ask them,
hey, you want a mod chip on that?
If they said yes, I would install the mod chips for the guys.
That led into installing mod chips into cable boxes to turn on channels,
which in turn led into programming the satellite DSS cards.
So that, you know, the 18-inch satellite systems.
At about the same time I start programming those cards,
a Canadian judge ruled that it was legal for Canadian citizens to pirate satellite DSS signals.
He said that, hey, since RCA is not
selling the systems up here, my citizens can pirate signal. Overnight, what happens is, as you go down
to Best Buy, you buy a system, take it out in the parking lot, pull the card out, throw the system
away, program the card, ship it to Canada, you're making $500 a pop at about the same time that
PayPal really becomes popular. All right. So I was making a lot
of money on PayPal, having people pay by PayPal, $500 a pop, shipping cards to Canada. Had so many
cards, had so many orders, I could not fill them all. I figured out pretty quick, I don't need to
fill any of them. Who are they going to complain to? They're in Canada. It's not like they're going
to do anything to me. So I don't fill any of the orders.
Start stealing a lot of money.
Got worried about how much was coming in.
I was stealing about $4,000 a week at that point.
This was 1996, 7, somewhere through there.
Got worried about how much was coming in.
Thought they were going to look at me for money laundering.
Figured the best thing I could do is get a fake driver's license.
Open up a bank account
under that, laundered the money through that, cash out an ATM. No one will ever know it's me.
Didn't know where to get a fake ID. Got online, looked around, looked around, found this guy named
Fake ID Man who had a forum and everything else. And all the people on the forum were talking
about how good his IDs were. He advertised all 50 states. I fell for that shit. So I sent him $200. I sent him my
picture. He rips me off and I get angry. I get really angry because I still need that ID and I
had never been ripped off like that before. So here I am the victim. I keep looking around,
find this website, counterfeit library, counterfeit library. What they were doing was
is they were, their main business was selling counterfeit degrees.
It was a degree mill type thing or counterfeit degrees as well.
They had a forum on there that was somewhat defunct.
No one was really using it.
So I get on the forum and really the only thing I'm doing is bitching about being ripped off.
About the same time I'm on there, these other two guys kind of buddy up with me. Their names
were Mr. X. He was out of Los Angeles. Beelzebub was out of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. And we become
buddies. I bitch every day. They're talking about some of the crimes and scams that they're doing.
We also start talking on ICQ. Beelzebub reaches out to me after a couple of weeks and he gets me
on ICQ and he's like, I can make you an ID.
Well, by this point in time, I'm pretty much friends with the people who run Counterfeit
Library.
We're talking by email, by ICQ and everything else like that.
And I was like, well, make me an ID.
And he's like, no, no, no.
He's like, I'm going to charge you $200.
And I'm like, yeah, like hell you are.
He's like, look, man, he's like, if you're going to do this kind of stuff online, you've got to learn how to trust people at some point. So I'm going to make
your ID, but I'm going to charge you $200 because you have to learn to trust people.
So I thought about that and I was like, I'll tell you what, I said, I'm going to send you $200.
So that way, when you rip me off, I'll have them boot your ass off here too.
So he's like, done, just send me the $200. So I sent him
$200, sent him my picture. A couple of weeks later, I get this ID and the name is Stephen Schwecke.
To me, it was the prettiest damn thing I'd ever seen. So I use it to set up bank accounts,
to go to check cashing services, to commit all these different types of crimes. I'm very happy
with that. He makes friends with the people on this site,
Counterfeit Library, and he learns to trust them. He was teaching them like the scams he knew,
and they were teaching him the scams they knew. And by this point, Brett was using the name
Gollum Fun on these online forums. So everyone in the forums and chat just knew him as Gollum Fun.
Now this site, Counterfeit Library, changed the game. I mean, this was way before
darknet marketplaces came around, but criminals still needed a place to come online and buy and
sell criminal things. But the thing is, how do you know you can trust a person that you're buying
something from? There's no real reputation system from someone you meet in a chat room or forum.
So Counterfeit Library added a reputation feature. Specifically, you could
vouch for someone, which meant if someone doesn't go through with a deal and you vouch for them,
now it's on you to make things right. Now people suddenly had a way to have a more trustworthy
interaction when buying illegal things from this website. The forum really takes off.
When the forum takes off,
it was initially me, Beelzebub, Mr. X,
the first real seller that comes in.
At that point was this guy who went by the screen
name of Mubin, M-U-B-I-N.
He was from Pakistan.
And what he offered was, is he said,
hey, anyone needs any type of computer certificate
from A plus on up through
CCIE, I will take that for you in whatever name you need it taken in. And that way you get the
certificate in your name. So he started selling that and he provided that product. And it was
really good. So if someone had, if someone wanted, you know, to be a CSO or whatever the hell they
wanted, they could come up with any number of certificates, pay the price.
So CCIE, Mubbin charged, I think, $2,500 for that at that point.
This is hilarious to me.
Some guy in Pakistan who's skilled enough to pass a CCIE exam,
which is very hard, is willing to sit for any test
and give your name to complete it.
Unreal.
I've taken a bunch of these IT certification
tests. And I remember after a while, they started requiring to have your picture on the test results.
And I always wondered why they added this extra security layer. But yeah, it's for stuff like this.
Now I know. The thing about love, and Susan loved me to no end. She really did. I have no doubt
about that. Love tends to blind people. You really did. I have no doubt about that.
Love tends to blind people. They don't want to think that you're this bad guy.
And certainly I was the social engineer and I was a manipulator and everything else. And I was able to convince her for three years that that wasn't happening until the police started
to show up at the door through not Beanie Babies, but autographed, fraudulently autographed baseballs, an entire shipment of front page 98 that was shipped with a patch
turned into the real program, you know, stuff like that.
Cops start to show up and Susan finds out pretty quick that I'm a criminal.
And then the next six years were me manipulating her, you know, telling her that I've stopped,
I will stop, I'm going to stop,
and finally flying mad and telling her, hey, you like spending the money, don't you?
The way she got away from me, and I think she inherently understood that the only way that I
would ever give up on the marriage was through infidelity. So she starts cheating on me and I
find out about it. And that is the line of the sand for me right there.
So I found out what it was.
And some of your listeners may recognize this.
You walk past someone's computer and they'll minimize the screen or hide the phone or whatever.
And you're like, okay, some shit's going on there.
Well, I would walk by her computer and she would switch to another screen or minimize it or whatever. And I'm like, okay, something's going on there. So I catch her in bed one morning. I go
in, I had placed key loggers on the computer and everything else. So I go and start seeing what
she's been into and she's been cheating with this guy. So I sit there kind of stunned and finally
get up that morning. She's asleep in the bedroom. And I walk in and I open up the wardrobe door and I get out a suitcase and I open it up and I start putting her clothes in it.
She wakes up and she's like, where are you going?
I'm like, I'm not going anywhere.
You are.
And I talked real big then.
But the truth of the matter was, is it took about a week of me crying and everything else for me to for us to end that relationship.
I took her back to
Hazard, Kentucky, came back to Charleston, South Carolina, and that fear that I'd always had of
being abandoned of the people that I loved leaving, that became real. I caused it, of course,
but it was still real to me. I started, I was walking around the house in a complete daze, just getting suicidal.
The only person I was talking to was a criminal friend of mine.
His name was Sean Mims.
I got to the point, I told him through ICQ what was going on,
and we started talking over the phone at that point.
So I was talking to him, and I was getting more and more suicidal.
Realized it, picked up the phone book, went through.
It's always been that weird shit with me. I went through the phone book, went through psychology and I saw this criminal psychologist
and I was like, obviously I need that. Called her crying and she was like, come in today.
So I went in and I told her, I mean, I told her everything. After I asked her if she could
tell on me, she's like, no, I can't tell on you as long as you're not actively trying to break
the law. And I was like, okay.
So I told her who I was and what was going on.
And she was doing some good.
I mean, she did a lot of good about talking about motivations in my life and the things that were going on with me and listening to me.
What happens is, after about four months, I get, you know, you're lonely, man.
I didn't have anybody to talk to.
I didn't have any friends or anything.
I had associates online.
So I got lonely.
I got horny.
I had started drinking by that point.
I was 34.
I had never really drank before.
So I started, I was a big fan of the Big Lebowski.
So I thought, hey, let's start with the White Russians.
So I start drinking, get lonely one night, and I'm horny.
And I'm like, let's go to a strip club.
I had never been to a strip club in my life.
And I am that idiot.
I walked in, and I had actually looked it up online.
I was that big guy that always researches everything.
I was trying to find the strip club I'd get laid at.
So it was called Joe's Roundup.
And it was this little hole-in-the-wall place.
I walk in, and there's literally two dancers there.
The first one I see is Elizabeth. And it was this little hole in the wall place. I walk in and there's literally two dancers there.
The first one I see is Elizabeth.
And she comes over and she's like,
you want to buy me a drink?
And I was like, yeah, how much is a drink?
And she was like, $25.
And I was like, that's a hell of a drink.
We spent, I don't know, three or four hours just talking.
That's it, just talking.
Little did I know that a lot of strippers,
it's just talk.
That's all you do.
So I found myself infatuated with her. I didn't realize at that point in time, she was asking me what kind of watch I wore and
where I lived and what type of car I drove and everything else. And she was sizing me up.
So I left that night, walk back in a week later, second time I'd ever been to a strip club,
walked back in a week later, looked at her and I was like, hey, would you like to go out to dinner with me?
And she was like, well, I work every night.
I can't go out to dinner, but I can do lunch.
And I was like, well, hell, let's go do lunch.
So she picked out one of these really expensive restaurants, of course.
Elizabeth had a taste for expensive things,
and Brett thought that if he could buy her those things she wanted,
then it would show his love and she'd like him.
She was also a stripper and got wasted a lot,
so maybe she didn't quite care where the money was coming from either.
So this gave Brett an incentive to kick the online crimes into high gear.
We were pretty big on fake driver's licenses, eBay, PayPal fraud.
Little did we know that there was this kid by the name of Dmitry Golubov, who he was a spammer.
And he had been watching what we were doing with Counterfeit Library.
So he picks up the phone one day.
He calls his buddies.
They call their buddies.
They end up having a physical conference in Odessa
and they hatched this idea for a site called Carter Planet. So Carter Planet is basically
the genesis of credit card fraud as we know it. This Dimitri guy who went by script on the forum
was trying to sell credit card stuff on Counterfeit Library. But since nobody had ever done this on the site,
nobody believed him.
At this point, Brett, or Gollum Fund,
was pretty senior on the site,
and all sellers had to be checked out by him
before they could sell on the site.
So Dimitri gets in touch with Brett.
He comes on as the screen name Script,
and he starts talking about how he's got
credit card information.
That, hey, you give me an address, a phone number, wait five business days, you can order whatever you want to order.
Well, since Brett had to confirm that these stolen credit cards that Dimitri was selling were real,
he called up Dell and ordered $5,000 worth of computers with the stolen credit card.
Then calls up Thompson's Computer Warehouse and buys another $4,000 worth of stuff, all with the stolen credit cards Dimitri gave to him to try.
And he waits five business days. All that product ships, it arrives at the drop address. I'm sitting
there looking at $9,000 worth of computer stuff. Post the review on Counterfeit Library. And I say overnight, but, and it may have been overnight,
it was no more than 48 hours, but that review posts
and literally everything shifts from that eBay fraud,
PayPal and fake ID stuff to credit fraud.
Everyone sees the potential in that
and everyone says, we want this.
From that point in time,
Dimitri brings over Bo, who sold, his name is
Roman Vega. He sold dump information. He sold counterfeit credit cards as well. He brings over
a guy named Big Buyer. He brings over all these other Ukrainians that provided a slew of different
products and services so that you could hide identity. you could get counterfeit credit cards, dump information,
CBV information online, whatever you wanted to steal any type of credit.
What people on the site were doing were buying shipments of expensive things like laptops or
something with stolen credit cards and then turning them around and selling that stuff on eBay.
A good carder, and I term myself a good carder,
you could put cash in pocket,
30 to 40,000 a month on profit on that, all right?
That changes with CVV1.
With CVV1, that became 30 to 40,000 a day that people were pulling out of ATMs.
Oh, the CVV1 hack.
Okay, so think about it. Suppose you had a picture of the
front and back of someone's credit card. Yeah, sure, that's enough information to buy whatever
you want online. But if you want to make money from that, it takes that extra step of selling
whatever it is you bought for actual cash. And that's what people were doing on the site. But
what people wanted to do was skip that whole step of buying something just to sell it so they can make money.
Why not use that card and just put it into an ATM and pull money out?
But if all you have are the numbers of the card and not the actual card,
you can't walk up to an ATM and just type those numbers in and get the money out.
You need that physical card.
And nobody had that.
So Counterfeit Library began exploding with chatter about how to get mag stripe writers and blank credit cards
and ways to write the data to the card.
But here's the problem.
There's a security code on all the cards to fight this exact problem
so that if someone gets your credit card numbers,
they can't just write it to a new card.
It's a special code that the bank will check,
but it's not visible when you just look at the card.
Well, what someone found out
is that there were some banks
that didn't implement that security code at all.
You could just write any data to the card
and put anything in the security code,
and the ATMs would accept it.
This enabled carters to just buy a ton of credit cards
from customers at that bank and write them to blank cards and then go to ATMs and cash out.
This became known as the CVV-1 hack.
The Ukrainians simply could not put cash in pocket literally themselves, so they had to rely on money mules.
And the order came down, or the offer was, we will provide the tracked data.
We need money mules. At that point, you will send us back 60%. You will keep 40%.
So this became the thing. The Ukrainians on the site would give you some stolen credit cards.
You'd then write that data to a blank credit card and then take it to an ATM and cash out
whatever you could. Then you'd have to send 60% of your take back to the Ukrainians, and they'd send you more cards.
If you had enough cards and could hit up enough ATMs, you could make $30,000 to $40,000 a day
with this. And it was around this time that a new site showed up called Shadow Crew.
Yeah, so let's talk about Shadow Crew.
Okay.
So you started Shadow Crew?
No.
So what happened was...
Wikipedia says you did.
Yeah, Wikipedia says I did.
And I will accept that to a degree with this caveat.
What happens is we were running Counterfeit Library, okay?
Counterfeit Library had transitioned over
to Strictly Credit. So we had people on there that were selling driver's licenses. We had
Gray Wolf. We had a couple of Michigan guys. Lighthawk was one of them. Seth Sanders was an
ID maker. Seth really hated, and I mean, he hated the entire credit games. His only interest was in making fake
IDs. So he comes to me and he was like, because we always talked on Sunday night on ICQ, all of us
did. And he was like, Gollum, do you mind if I go off and I make a website that just deals in fake
IDs? And I'm like, dude, I don't care about that. Go off and do that. I wish you the best. So he goes off and builds Shadow Crew.
Okay. Just him. He builds Shadow Crew. The problem was that Shadow Crew was only fake IDs.
No one was interested in fake IDs unless you needed one to run a credit card. No one was
interested in that. So he's got maybe 60 members over there. All the business is over on Counterfeit Library. Our problem was Counterfeit Library was really the Wild West. There was no moderation, anything
else. If I wanted somebody booted off one of those forums, I had to contact the owners of
Counterfeit Library and say, hey, get rid of this guy. Because of that, and again, Counterfeit Library,
its prime business was the degree mill stuff,
the counterfeit degrees.
There was a real distance learning guy
that had been on Good Morning America.
He was well-respected throughout the country
and everything else.
He found out about Counterfeit Library.
He had a large forum and a large following on his forum.
He posts about Counterfeit Library on his forum. What happens is, is those members on his forum
start to flood our forum with just bullshit, just troll posts, enough so that you had to go five or
six pages deep to start getting the real meat of Counterfeit Library. So it's starting to get overran. We're
having Joe Job attacks, everything else like that. Just very hard to moderate, especially since we
didn't have moderators on site. So Seth comes over to me, I don't know, two months later,
and he was like, Gollum, why don't you come over to Shadow Crew? And I'm like, what are you talking
about? He's like, well, look, he said, I've got the platform built. Not only that, but I've, I've, we're running PHP. We're
not logging IPs, at least on the, on the forum side, we're logging it on the server side.
He said, we've got all this going on. It's much more secure. We've got moderators,
we've got admins and everything else. And I'm like, look, man, I said, that sounds like a good
idea. I said, I'll come over and make me super admin. I'll come over as long as you let me put in charge of the forums who I want in charge.
And you let me add whatever forums I want to add.
And he was like, done.
So Brett, or Gollum Fun, was a moderator and admin of Shadow Crew.
And he made an area for carding.
And he got the Ukrainians on board to the new site,
and things were looking good on this new site.
Carding was big on Shadow Crew, probably its biggest draw.
But he started seeing people posting database dumps to the site too.
And this was cool to Gollum Fun.
He started looking through these to see if there's anything useful for him in that data.
Sometimes he'd find some data to be able to open accounts under other people's names and stuff. And there were little things that he was doing to make money from this.
Then after that, the next real database of consequence that I got was the California
State Death Index. So I had access to that. I started doing a lot of research on,
okay, how can you use this? And the idea, the first idea that I had was,
I wonder if you could apply for social security
benefits for these people. Because part of the research I found out was the federal government
doesn't know you're dead unless there's been a social security death benefit filed for that
person. So I was like, okay, can I file for social security benefits? Tried to do that. Turns out you
could not because the Social
Security Administration wanted that person to come in for a physical interview. The number had
been dormant for so long. So that didn't work. So the next idea I had was, well, I wonder if you
could file income taxes on these people. It turns out you can. So I started filing income tax returns,
fraudulent income tax returns on dead people and stealing a lot of money.
I got to where I could file a tax return once every six minutes manually.
I'd file tax returns Sunday through Wednesday, usually 100, 180 tax returns a week.
Thursday, I'd take a road trip, plot out a map of ATMs.
Friday and Saturday, cash out to the tune of usually $150,000, $160,000 a week.
Put that money in a backpack, come back home to Charleston, South Carolina,
throw the money in a spare bedroom that I had.
Whoa, that's a lot of money.
What he was doing was just submitting tax returns for random people
and then getting the money back from their returns,
put on a prepaid debit card, and then cashing that out. Now, by this time, Shadow Crew had
attracted quite a bit of users. At its peak, it had 4,000 users. So there was a certain amount
of critical mass at this point. More criminals attracted more criminals and more criminal
behavior. And keep in mind, this is way before Tor or the dark web or even Bitcoin. This is all going on in the year 2004. So this was a website just on the clear net,
right? On the internet for anyone to see. And some of the stuff Gollum Fund saw going down
was just crazy. There were three rules that I implemented that I wanted followed by.
Those three rules were no counterfeit currency
because I was scared to death
that we were going to get Secret Service attention.
And my view at that point in time is
there's no law enforcement agency
better than Secret Service.
So no counterfeit currency.
I didn't want any drugs
because I historically had this prejudice against drugs.
I didn't want anyone using drugs or selling drugs.
And finally,
no child pornography. The only one we really obeyed was no child porn. We had the Thomas
Cook Traveler's Checks, which were, I mean, they were one-to-one as far as not being able to tell
the difference. We had the USA Superbills that were coming in. We had the EU super bills at one point. So we had counterfeit currency out the wazoo. Drugs, so we allowed first pot and ecstasy, and then it turned into
OxyContin and everything else from that point. And even I dealt in OxyContin at one point.
As you can imagine, Shadow Crew was a wild place, a site that launched a thousand criminals. Now, the site was
started by a guy named Seth, but at some point, Seth gave the site to Brett. So, I get David Thomas
a job working with Big Buyer. Big Buyer sends David enough money to go from, I think David was
hiding out in Texas at that point. Big Buyer wires him the money to go from Texas I think David was hiding out in Texas at that point.
Big Buyer wires him the money to go from Texas up to Issaquah, Washington, and to rent a temporary
office space. The idea being that Big Buyer is going to card items to the Issaquah, Washington
temporary office space. David's going to pick them up, sell them on eBay, give 50% of the profit to Big Buyer.
Okay. That's the deal. So David goes to Issaquah, gets his temporary office space.
Big Buyer places the first order. Now I'm friends with Big Buyer at this point.
Big Buyer places the first order, outpost.com. First order is like $18,000. At that point in
time, it was the largest order
that Outpost had ever been hit with, all right?
Order goes through, Outpost ships the items,
David gets the items in, takes them back to the hotel,
happier than a pig in shit.
He starts bragging about it to me and Kim.
I'm happy, we're gonna make a lot of money.
Kim, the bookseller, the guy who thinks he's Jason Bourne,
hears this and he comes to me on ICQ.
He's like, he knows my name by this point.
He's like, Brett, I want to go to Issaquah to make some money.
I'm like, dude, you're making money.
He's like, no, I want to go up there.
I was like, go, just be careful.
So Kim gets in his Saturn, drives his ass from Denver up to Issaquah, Washington.
They get there the night before. So Big Buyer, in the meantime,
Big Buyer has placed a second credit card order with Outpost.com going to the exact same drop
address. Meanwhile, Outpost.com has found out that the first order is fraudulent. They have
notified the Issaquah PD. The Issaquah PD has asked
Outpost.com, hey, can you guys just send some empty boxes? Outpost just said, why, we'd be happy to.
Meanwhile, David and Kim meet at the hotel. They party. They literally party all night long. Now,
the rule was at that point in time, you get up the next morning, before you go to your drop address,
you sign on to the credit, you use the credit card login, you sign on to make sure you can sign on.
If you can sign on, you go pick up your packages. If you can't sign on, then that means that the
bank has been alerted to possible fraud. You go back to sleep that day. They didn't sign on that
day. Meanwhile, big buyer though, big buyer has tried to sign on that day. Meanwhile, Big Buyer though, Big Buyer has tried
to sign on and he can't. So all day long, he's been trying to contact David and Kim. David and
Kim have been out of service. They are in route to pick up the packages. Big Buyer is on ICQ,
frantic. I need to contact David Thomas. And I'm like, let me see what I can do.
I can't contact him either. What happens is David's got this old Cadillac. David's in the
driver's seat. Kim's in the passenger seat. David's girlfriend, Bridget, is in the back seat.
They pull into the complex where the drop address is, the temporary office space. As they pull into the complex,
David sees this van. The van has somebody sitting in it, but the seat is turned
incorrectly. It's turned where the guy is looking directly out of the driver's window.
David looks at Kim. That's an undercover officer. Kim's like, nah. So they
pull on up. They pull on up to the drop address. Kim's like, I'll go in and get the packages.
He walks in, looks at the kid behind the counter. I believe you've got some packages for me.
The kid's like, yeah, hold on just a second. The kid disappears behind the wall, out pops the Issaquah PD, arrests Kim,
David in the driver's seat of the Eldorado, sees the arrest take place, hightails it out of there.
The police arrest David on the interstate. David, and here's the other fuckwit that he does,
David has several fake IDs in his wallet with his real ID. So they arrest him. Now,
what happens is, is David has the outstanding warrants out of Nebraska for check fraud.
So we can't bond him out. Seth though, Kim Taylor didn't have any outstanding warrants. So Kim
Taylor has a bond. Seth uses his girlfriend's
credit card to pay for Kim Taylor's bond. That gave a really bad taste in Seth Sanders' mouth.
So he comes to me and he's like, I quit. You have it. And Seth was the guy who started and owned
Shadow Crew. It was this whole event that made Seth quit and give the site to Brett.
So Brett took over ShadowCrew.com and he was even paying the hosting bills.
And by the way, this site was never profitable on its own.
It didn't charge users or anything.
So it did cost Brett to keep it going,
which is wild because seven years later,
Silk Road was making millions of dollars doing basically the same thing.
Because Shadow Crew became a marketplace for illegal things.
It was like a darknet market before the darknet existed.
But over time, Brett started noticing some of the writing on the walls.
As he just explained, a few people on the site were starting to get arrested.
And around this time, Brett was starting to see some IP addresses of users on the site
that resolved to.gov domains, meaning they could be feds.
A couple more users were getting arrested, too.
And so Brett suspected some of these users might be cops.
I mean, to this day, you can peg law enforcement pretty easy because they just stand out.
They ask the wrong types of questions the wrong way at the wrong time.
You're able to see what time they're logged in and everything else. And they operate the same
damn hours every single day, everything else like that. So we were able to peg law enforcement that
was coming in. So people were getting picked up and I started getting really, really worried.
At the same time, I'm doing the tax return fraud, stealing a lot more money, and decide that, hey, it's time for me to leave.
So I announced my retirement, I believe, of April 15, 2004,
was my retirement date.
And that's when I leave the site.
Now, just because he left Shadow Crew
didn't mean he stopped running scams.
In fact, his scams were getting bigger now than ever at this point.
Specifically, he still loved doing tax refund fraud.
In his best week doing that, he made $160,000.
That's just one week of work.
And a lot of this money was going to Elizabeth, his stripper girlfriend.
We're at an hour into this episode now,
and I don't even think we've covered half of what Brett did.
So I need a break, and I don't even think we've covered half of what Brett did. So,
I need a break,
and maybe you do too.
Okay.
I think this was good
for day one.
I would like to pick it up again
maybe next weekend
where we talk about
you going on the run.
Yeah.
Stealing 600K.
Big story.
Big story, Jack.
I know.
I mean, it's a lot of crap.
Big thank you to Brett Johnson, a.k.a. Gollum Fun, for sharing this crazy story with us.
Don't forget to come back in two weeks where you'll hear the final installment of this story.
And you're not going to believe what happens, so don't miss it. This show is made by me, the sneaker, Jack Recider. We'll see you next time. Breakmaster Cylinder. I found a really big spider by my front door the other day,
and I tried calling Amazon Web Services to take care of it, but no help, strangely. I decided to just try talking with the spider and pleading with it. Well, it turns out he's a web designer,
so I showed him my computer. Well, he crawled into my keyboard. He's still in there. He's
under control.
This is Darknet Diaries.