Date Yourself Instead - 10 steps to prepare for the love of your life (they're coming!)

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

The love of your life is on their way. They're around the corner. God is preparing you for a season of DIVINE LOVE AND BLESSINGS. Are you ready to receive it all?If you enjoyed this episode, please share it and drop a comment below on Spotify and message me on instagram @lyss @dateyourselfinstead.JOIN MY MASTERCLASSES BELOW.Use code abundance at checkout for an exclusive discount.⁠⁠⁠Dare to Detach⁠⁠⁠ - cut the energy cords now and step into your power⁠⁠⁠Mind Body Soul Reset⁠⁠⁠ - heal yourself from the inside out With love and light,Lyss

There's something that I've been thinking about. It's this concept of preparing for the love of your life. If you're single right now and you don't have anyone right now and you're going through a period of transition where you know you're growing, you know you're healing, you know you have to love yourself more, you know that you're changing for the better, it's that weird transition in between phase where you're like,

I know that I want to manifest my person now and I'm ready, but what are the actual steps I need to take to manifest that person? Because if you're getting real with yourself, if you're really being honest with yourself, are you fully ready to allow true love in right now? Are you fully prepared to meet your soulmate right now? Are you where you want to be in your life to meet the love of your life? That's something I was asking myself this morning. I was having my coffee and just journaling and thinking about how I've spent the last year doing deep healing work, bettering myself, working really hard, getting myself more organized, getting myself into better shape, and creating new

routines and habits for myself in order to prepare to meet the love of my life. Now, a lot of people will question me and be like, oh, you know, if you can manifest, if you're so good at manifesting, why haven't you met your person yet? There's a few things I have to say to that. One being that I do believe that life happens in divine timing.

Everything happens when you are truly ready for it and everything makes sense later on as far as timing goes. I have divine timing tattooed on my arm and it's a reminder of this every day. You could do as much as you could do for yourself. You could prepare, you can heal, you can work on yourself and better yourself. But I also think divine timing plays a factor

in when you meet your person and when you meet that special soulmate. If I had met my husband five years ago, I wouldn't have date yourself instead as a brand. I wouldn't be doing this as my mission on earth. I wouldn't have had a clear, defined purpose in my life. I wouldn't have truly loved myself. And I probably would have ended up

in a really toxic partnership with someone because I wasn't fully stepping into my higher self yet. I wasn't in my power yet. I had so much more I needed to learn and I learned those lessons through relationships and my past relationships and my exes. I wouldn't be the woman I am today. Way more strong, way more confident, way more grounded in who I am. I want to be this version of me when I attract my husband because then I know I'm aligning with the right person. Does that make sense? Whereas I feel like five years ago it wouldn't have been the right timing because I wasn't grown enough to know what I even wanted. I didn't even know what I wanted. I didn't grown enough to know what I even wanted.

I didn't even know what I wanted. I didn't even know who I was. I didn't have a clear defined mission. I didn't understand the concept of what true love really was and I didn't really love myself enough. I wasn't confident enough in myself. I had a lot of insecurities, a lot of fears, and I validated myself through people a lot of the time.

So if I had met my partner then, I think I would have just ended up in the wrong marriage and ended up getting divorced anyway. So I'm really grateful that I've been able to wait and I've been really patient. I've never been the type of person to put pressure on this idea of like, I need my husband immediately because I do truly believe and I have unwavering faith in this, that everything happens in perfect divine timing.

This gives you the space and opportunity When you are in this transitional period where you're still single But you know that you're ready to meet the love of your life This gives you a window of opportunity to get creative with your life to put yourself first to date yourself instead To really know your energy and harness your power more and really be so grounded in who you are that when you meet that person it just clicks everything feels right everything feels aligned and you end up staying together for the long term because you really know yourself and you know that you're making the right decision by being with a partner that's operating at the same vibrational level as you so for

me I'm in this period of my life right now where I'm still learning how to fully, deeply, truly love myself without any external validation. I truly feel like I've learned so much over the last year, being single, being fully alone, not talking to anyone, not engaging in pointless, meaningless dating situations, not tolerating situationship behavior. When you cut out all the noise, it creates space for you to really know who you are and create your own identity and love yourself so fully so that when the right person comes in, you're 100% sure of it and you're fully prepared

for it. And so on today's episode, I wanted to cover 10 ways that I've been preparing to manifest the love of my life and let that person in because I feel like that person is close. I feel like I'm going to meet him this year. I think my intuition and my gut feeling is saying that it's happening in 2025. And for those of you who feel the same way, this episode is for you to prepare and to align yourself fully with that version of you that's already with a love of your life, that's creating and building an empire with the man of your dreams or the woman of your dreams,

and you're so happy and you're so in love and you're so grateful that you finally found that person. I'm rooting for you guys too. I'm manifesting it for all of you who are listening right now. If you're ready to prepare for the love of your life and step into that vibrational frequency, this episode was made for you. So let's dive in. Number one, this is probably the most important piece of the puzzle. You have to become the person that you want to be in a relationship with.

Now you're probably like, what are you talking about? You have to embody all of the qualities that you would want in your future partner because you are what you attract. You attract what you are. You attract who you are. You are going to attract at the vibration that you're operating at. If you want a partner that's loyal and devoted and driven and successful, you have to work on yourself to embody those qualities as well.

You have to live your life according to what you want and who you want around you. I know whenever I put effort into myself, into my career, into my work, into my passions, into fitness, into taking care of myself, I start aligning with other people. It doesn't necessarily mean romantic partners, but people and communities that are at that same frequency. And when you start aligning yourself and envisioning yourself with your person, are you going for hikes with them? Are you going on a walk with them and talking about your day? Are you going out to romantic dinners with them?

What would you be doing if you were with them? Embody those things. Embody those those experiences and act on them now. Live as if that person is already in your life. You have to believe that person is already in your timeline. When you're operating at the timeline that you're already in love and you found the love of your life, that's when that person is going to manifest faster into your current reality. So what I like to do is I write down a list of things that I would be doing if I was with the love of my life and then I do them. So for example, if I am hesitant about working out, I'm like, would I be working out with

my person and pushing myself to be better and stay healthy and stay active if I had the man of my dreams and I was like you know meeting him and I was like oh my god I need to look good I need to feel good yeah honestly it is a little bit of like a physical look thing but it's also just wanting to feel good wanting to feel high vibe in their presence I would be going to the gym every day I would be working on myself my body my fitness routine and taking optimal care of my health in order to show up properly in the relationship, in order to show up properly on dates and feel good and be happy. I know I need the gym and I need structure and I need routine

with my fitness in order to feel as good as possible. And when you feel as good as possible, you not only attract the love of your life, but you attract beautiful things into your life in general because you feel good. when you feel good you're operating at a high frequency. Everything is kind of tied together so for me I love making fitness a huge priority and I also love envisioning other activities that I would be doing with my person. I took myself to the movies once when I was in London and I was like what would I be doing right now if I was with my person? Would I be going to see a movie with them,

having popcorn, having wine, whatever it is, right? Yes, that's something I would be doing. So I took myself on the date and I envisioned a future version of them sitting next to me. And I envisioned myself being happy and love already. And channeling all that love within makes you feel good. It makes you feel high vibe and it makes you feel like you already have that person next to you It's exciting because in your current physical reality, you might feel like oh, there's no one next to me. This is delusional

This is crazy, but you manifest when you are visionary You manifest when you are delusional when you are thinkingusional, when you are thinking into the future, when you are tapping into your future timeline, you have to do this and you have to create a reality that feels like that person is already there and has already shown up in order to attract them. The next thing, number two, number two is clearing emotional trauma, doing the inner work, doing the inner work, doing the inner work to heal and better your life. I'm really not gonna sugarcoat this episode.

People are gonna be like, oh, we always have things to heal and work on and whatever, but are you really addressing your wounds? Are you really facing yourself? Are you really looking in the mirror and preparing yourself for the love of your life? Are you really putting in the necessary steps to be the best version of you? If you knew your husband was coming in a week from now, you knew that he was going to show

up in a week from now, are you prepared for that? Be real with yourself. Do you feel like you've worked on yourself enough and you've healed enough to show up properly for that person who's going to give you the world, who's going to love and adore you. Everything starts from within. The last year for me has been a healing journey because I had to face myself, I had to face my past wounds. I was dating toxic men my entire 20s because I didn't value myself enough, I didn't have high standards, I didn't have boundaries in place, I didn't know who I was, didn't have high standards. I didn't have boundaries in place.

I didn't know who I was. I was always lost. I was always looking for a purpose. I didn't take care of myself consistently. I would give my heart away so easily and let someone walk all over it. I would let people walk all over me and take advantage of me in business.

I was insecure. I was weak in a lot of ways because I couldn't stand up for myself even though I knew I had to. I would just let people take advantage of who I was and my heart and I had to heal that. I had to heal that. If I had met my person as I said a few years ago we would have been divorced by now because I wasn't healed, I wasn't evolved, I wasn't the woman I am today where I could stand on my own two feet, stand up for myself, I don't give a fuck about people's opinions,

I don't care if you're judging me about what I'm doing, who I'm with, what I'm building, I live for me, I'm confident in my skin, I'm more grounded than ever, I'm more healed than I've ever been, I've done the inner work to address everything I needed to address and I'm not perfect, I'm still not perfect, I still have a ton of shit to work on as does everyone else, okay? We're all human beings that have flaws but I will say I know now because I've faced my shadow side and I faced the dark parts of myself and I faced the

childhood wounds of always needing external validation from everyone else. I've faced needing validation from men. I've faced my insecurities about who I am. I know that I'm way more prepared than ever to meet someone that can meet me at my level and my caliber. I know I deserve greatness in a relationship. I know I deserve my soulmate, that passionate dreamy soulmate type of love because I've done the work to heal myself and heal my heart properly. I'm not going to throw my wounds in my baggage on someone else. Now, I see a lot of TikToks, a lot of content out there that's like, oh, you know, I met my man and he healed parts of me that I didn't know I need to be healed. That can also apply.

The love of your life will help you heal from your past too, I do believe that. But wouldn't it be nice to also show up knowing that you've done as much as you can to heal yourself and heal your heart so you're aligning with someone that you can also share that love with and help along the way as well?

Like you're helping each other. I do believe that a relationship is mutual in a lot of ways and you're helping each other grow and heal and evolve together and you're building together. So you don't wanna be the one in a relationship that's needy, insecure and always dependent on someone else to make you feel healed or make you feel loved and appreciated.

When you come from a place of wholeness and you come from a place of groundedness and ease and you both come together and you're both at that level, it's just nice, it just works. That's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who can meet me where I'm at emotionally, who can meet me at my emotional level of maturity, because I've done a lot of work to become more mature, more healthy, less toxic, and I want someone that can meet me there now, you know,

so we could evolve together and help each other. Number three, another question I really like to ask myself is what can I do to be 1% better every single day? What could I work on to be just a tiny bit better than I was yesterday and all the days before that? What steps can I take to improve myself? When you're always in an expansive growth mindset, you will attract someone with an expansive growth mindset.

And I know for me, that's so important. I mean, we all love sitting on the couch, being lazy, doing nothing sometimes. Sometimes I just have days where I crash out and I don't wanna grow. And I'm just like, I'm happy where I'm at today. But long-term, I know I need someone who pushes me to be better, who pushes me to grow. And I want to do the same for that person.

So I try to think about ways I can grow and better myself every day. I think it's super attractive in a man for me, someone who has an expansive mindset, who's living abundantly, who wants to always evolve and grow with me and they're not scared to jump out of the box and scared to jump out of their comfort zones. I think when someone is too afraid and too sheltered and they don't want to evolve or grow at all, it would probably affect my motivation because if you're living with someone, if you're living with someone, if you're constantly with someone, if you're married to someone who isn't wanting to be

better and grow with you, it's kind of easy to get stuck. And I've dated people like that where I was growing and pushing myself to be better and that person was kind of like getting left behind and getting upset that I wasn't staying behind with them. And they were getting offended that I wasn't staying behind with them. I think in general, friendships too, business relationships too, you need to surround yourself with people that want to grow with you and help you expand and make you feel more expansive and more inspired to get out of bed in the

morning. You have to create space for your person to come in. And as I said, it's almost like you already feel like they're already a part of your life. I did this exercise once. This was when I met my last boyfriend and I had wanted a relationship at that point. I was always looking for the next person. When I was in my twenties, I was like, oh, okay,

this didn't work out onto the next one. I was always the type the next person. When I was in my 20s, I was like, oh, okay, this didn't work out. Onto the next one. I was always the type of person who would jump from relationship to relationship. With my last relationship, I created space to meet someone by getting a two-bedroom apartment because I envisioned if I had two bedrooms, that would mean that someone was staying with me. And it was only like, I think it was only like a two month lease. It was a really short term place.

It was just for the summer during COVID and I didn't know if I wanted to stay in New York. So I just did like a short term thing and I rented two bedrooms on purpose because I read this book. It was something about how to manifest your soulmate. I have to remember the title of it, but I read it a long time ago and one of the exercises was to have everything in your life come as a pair

as if your partner is already there. So I got a two bedroom apartment and I was like, oh, there's someone living with me right now and we're doing everything together. And literally like a week later that's when I met my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, not my boyfriend, current boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend and we started a relationship and then I moved out of that place and I moved in with him which was really interesting. It was just one of those things where I was like wow maybe that worked,

that's very interesting. So when you actually create space as if that person's already in your life you're opening up that energy and communicating to the universe saying I'm ready for my person so buying an extra toothbrush for your place or buying a love letter buying a card and writing it out to your person just creating habits and things that you would do if that person was already in your life can align you with that person. It's very cool. I have this exercise and I have this episode on the podcast called the love letter method. It's when you actually write a love letter to the person of your dreams as if you're

about to give it to them and you envision yourself already handing it over to them and then they appear and it's worked for me every single time I intentionally have not done this exercise in a while because it's scary how quickly people will manifest if you do this exercise I don't think I want to do it because I'm kind of like in this still transitional phase where I want things to unfold naturally. But if you really wanna speed things up and you're like, I wanna meet the love of my life this week,

buy a love letter, buy a card that you would give to someone that you're in love with, write it out to them, say dear love of my life, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you are the most amazing partner I've ever had, you taught me what healthy love is. Maybe I'll actually do this this week. I think it would be really fascinating to test this out again.

Cause I haven't done it in years. Write it out. Include specific details on what you would want from them and what you want to do with them and what you want to experience with them. And then watch what happens. Put it in a little envelope. Sign seal delivered. And yeah, watch what happens. Put it in a little envelope, sign seal delivered, and yeah, watch what happens.

It's pretty crazy. Number four, get clear on who you are and your boundaries. Know your fucking boundaries. This is so important. When you are preparing for the love of your life, you need to know what you stand for, what your values are, and who you are preparing for the love of your life, you need to know what you stand for, what your values are, and who you are at your core and don't budge from that. The right person is not going to try to change you.

The right person is going to compliment who you are. So if you are not sure about who you are and you're lost and you're always, you know, in this fog of your identity and you're like, I don't know, like what my boundaries are, get clear on them. You need to know what you stand for and what you'll tolerate and what doesn't make you feel good I never made a list of my boundaries and I never thought about them too deeply and that was where I went wrong in 99% of my relationships if someone did something that I didn't like I would excuse it I might be like I didn't like that but let excuse it. I'm gonna be like, eh, I didn't like that, but let's just see. Let's just continue and see how it plays out.

No, no, that's never happening again. The next person I date, if I feel a little off around you, goodbye, that's it. I don't care. The right person is not gonna make me question anything or make me feel unsafe or anxious or insecure about myself. It's a non-negotiable for me. When I'm dating

someone, if I don't feel safe around them or I feel like I'm questioning things in my head, goodbye. You're done. You're cut from the roster. I don't care what you say. I don't care what you tell me. It's a gut feeling for me and that's my boundary. Trusting my gut and sticking to it. Even if logically it seems like it's a good idea to give someone a chance, I'm listening to my body because I have a sacral authority, I just did my human design, I was reading it and everything comes from my gut instincts. And that's why I always say trust your gut, trust your instincts, but for me it's very strong and that's why I'd always

get physically sick. I made an episode about this, how toxic relationships can make you sick. That's why I was always getting sick around my partners because my body was telling me, they're not right for you. These people are not aligned with you at all. And I would talk myself out of it and be like, oh, I'm probably just sick. No, it was because I was around people who were not aligned with who I am. And my body was screaming out and being like, girl, you gotta go.

Like you gotta cut this person off. What happens is with me personally, my stomach will hurt. I'll start developing ovarian cysts. I actually haven't had any ovarian cysts since I stopped dating. I used to struggle with PCOS with my hormones with a ton of hormonal imbalances and having excruciating pain on my ovaries every single month and heavy irregular periods every single month when I stopped dating. All of that has gone away. I have not had any issues gynecologically since last year, so I know it's a direct correlation. I'm a hundred percent positive about it and

you know, it's just important to listen to your body listen to what it's telling you and Making that a boundary if you feel off. Goodbye See you later. You're not in my timeline anymore If you feel off, goodbye, see you later, you're not in my timeline anymore, you are not in my reality anymore because you don't make me feel good. That's a boundary. If you don't make me feel good, see ya. Number five, developing your own routine that you stick to every single day and you know that you're going to stick to it even if someone's in your life.

You need to create your own identity. Even if you are currently in a relationship or you want to get into a relationship, you can't start giving up the things that make you feel good when you start dating someone, you have to stick to them. And this is a lesson that I've learned the hard way. I would throw out my dreams and my plans and like my goals for myself and any routine I had out the window when I would meet someone.

And I started going by what they wanted and following their plans and their routines. I would lose myself in people because I let my feelings get the best of me and I let my emotions take over. Venus and Pisces is like, you literally fall in love with rocks and trees and butterflies and rainbows and you have these goggles on where you just lose yourself in someone because you want this like mystical dreamy fairy tale experience

but in reality that's not healthy. That's not healthy to lose yourself in someone because you have strong feelings for them. There needs to be boundaries in place number one and second of all you need to create a routine for yourself that you're going to to, even if you're in a relationship and that will help you keep your identity and help keep you grounded with or without someone. So I know for me, everything I'm doing now, going to the gym, waking up early, meditating,

everything in my courses that I teach, the mind, body, soul reset, all the meditations in there, everything I do is in there, my workout routines, cord-cutting exercises, journaling prompts. Doing things that ground me and make me feel good in my body and keep my vibration high are things that I know I need to continue and pursue and chase after for the rest of my life in order to be who I am. I love embodying this concept of manifestation and helping other people and working on

myself and being expansive. But in the past I would give up the things I loved because I had my person. So I was like oh we could just do this together and we could just go out to dinner and you know work out together and read together and go on walks together and XYZ everything was together together together and it became suddenly very Codependent and although it's nice to have someone by your side and I would love that and I would love to go home to someone Every night and sleep next to them at the same time I know for me personally in order to keep my identity and keep myself grounded, I need to have my own life.

That is another boundary for me too. I need to have my own social life, my own friendships, and my own routine, and my own career. And I have to keep something separate in order to maintain who I am and to fully embody who I am and thrive and be at my greatest potential. I can't give that up for the sake of love because then I stop loving myself. So that's super important.

Knowing your routine, knowing who you are, knowing what you have to do every single day and finding a purpose is really, really healthy. Personally, I think this is also a little bit opinionated, and this is just my experience, but maybe this will resonate with you if you've lost yourself in other relationships. You need your own identity. Bottom line. Number six, you have to align with the life that you want.

You have to go to the places that you think you would meet someone. Where do you you're gonna meet your person for me? I know it's gonna be through work and networking I know I'm gonna meet them through someone I know or through an event or through something with my career I just know I've known this forever I know I'm gonna meet my husband through something major like it's gonna be some sort of podcast event or it's gonna be some like Luxury dinner. It's gonna be something where there's community and there's a network. I may meet them through a friend or I may meet them through work, but I know that my husband is not on dating apps. I'm positive.

That's just me though, because I know a lot of people meet that way nowadays and I'm not writing dating apps off. I think dating apps are amazing for the right person. But for me, I just feel like every time I use them, it's very forced. It's draining. And because of my sacral authority, because of my human design, maybe I'll have a human design expert on the podcast. I just met one in Bali and she was amazing.

And she like was doing my whole chart at dinner the other night. It was incredible. I just feel like in my cord and my gut that my husband is going to come through my career and through my work and I my husband is gonna come through my career and through my work. And I'm excited about it, but that also means that I have to align myself with the people and places that are in my field.

So if that means going to more networking dinners, if that means putting myself in places that maybe I wouldn't normally go to, but could help my career and benefit me in some way with my work, that is putting me in a position where I'm going to meet someone. Sometimes you do have to take action. You're not always going to meet your person just sitting on the couch, swiping on a dating

app and doing nothing with your life. It could happen that way, but a lot of the times you have to kind of put yourself out there and take some sort of initiative to put yourself in a position to meet that person. And usually it comes with inspired action. So it's not going to feel draining or forced to do these things, but you just need a little nudge. You just need a little push to get out, do something different, take yourself out to dinner, take yourself on a date, put yourself in environments where you think you might

meet your person. Even if you don't necessarily meet them right away, you're just opening that energetic space to allow them to come in, and you're getting used to this feeling of putting yourself out there. This is why I always say, take yourself on a solo date once a week or every couple of weeks,

just to put yourself in environments where you feel luxurious and abundant and you love yourself and you're in your own space and energy. Sometimes I will literally go to a bar by myself, I'll have a seltzer, I won't even drink, I hate drinking, maybe I'll make another episode on this but like I literally fucking hate alcohol. I think it lowers your vibration, it doesn't make you feel good the next day, it throws off my fitness routine, I could go on forever but we'll talk about that a different episode.

If you guys are interested in my sober journey I'm not gonna write off alcohol completely there are moments where I've like had a glass of wine for work or whatever But in general not a drinker never have been I'm mentioning this because I think there's this pressure like oh Like do I go out and drink and get drunk at a bar by myself? No, you go out you can can order a tea, you could order a coffee, you could order water, and you sit at the bar, you bring a self-help book, or you bring a journal, or whatever it is that you think could occupy your brain in a positive, productive way,

and you map out your future life. I love just sitting at a bar, writing down my goals and my manifestations in a journal, or on my notes up on my phone, and I tell myself things like, I am attracting the most amazing luxury experiences. I am attracting cool, fun experiences and people. I did this when I was in London last summer.

Was it last summer? I think it was last summer. It feels like forever ago. But I went to London on a solo trip. I love it there. I'm moving there, by the way. I'm moving there in the spring and I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Every time I think about London, it like lights me up and I'm like, I just love it here. I went there on a solo trip. I was having a really off night. I was kind of tired. I didn't really want to go out, but I was like, something intuitively, I should just push myself, get up, get dressed,

put some makeup on and force force yourself a little bit I Go to my hotel bar on the rooftop and I write in my notes I am having the most amazing fun experience tonight and meeting a cool group of people five minutes later I kid you not this group of people that I had never met before but they recognized me from the podcast Invited me out with them. I ended up going to dinner with them. They paid for everything which was super generous this group of people that I had never met before but they recognized me from the podcast, invited me out with them, I ended up going to dinner with them, they paid for everything which was super generous and I had an amazing night at this club that I had never been to in London. I was like this is crazy. I literally just manifested this in five minutes and my whole night flipped upside

down. Like it went from me being alone at a bar, solo traveling with no plans and no idea what the fuck I was doing to in an hour timeframe, this guy ushered me into his luxury car, took me to this cool ass bar and like club thing was like a jazz music thing. It was so cool. We're in the basement, having drinks, having the best time. I'm just like, this is magic. Like manifestation is magic. Having these superpowers, especially as a woman, because women are very witchy.

Women are so good at manifesting. When you really tap into your feminine, your divine energy, and you get good at it and you master it, life becomes magical. And I've experienced it firsthand. Of course there have been moments where I've had trouble manifesting, but when you get into the flow

and you truly trust your higher self and you lean into that voice and you lean into this feeling of like, let's just see what the night holds. I can manifest anything. I am a divine goddess and I get whatever I want. When you start affirming these things, watch what happens in your life.

Magic starts to happen. It's really crazy. But anyways, sorry to go on a little manifestation rant, but you have to, this kind of ties into number seven, which is you have to visualize and believe and have faith that that person is on their way. And in the meantime, enjoy your life, enjoy your freedom, enjoy your independence. Don't write your singleness off. Don't write it off.

I was watching this interview with Dua Lipa and something she said, which really inspired me, was like, so many people, they write off their single era because they're in a rush to find love, but use it as a growing tool, use it as an experience, use it as an opportunity. She's like as an experience, use it as an opportunity. She's like my dream guest on Date Yourself instead, I'm putting it out there by next year,

I need her on the podcast. She's a manifesting goddess. Like I do believe that there's something just special about her. Of course she's Dua Lipa, obviously. So she's so powerful and so talented, but there's more to it. I think she always maintains a very high frequency

and a very high energy field and like of positivity. She's able to manifest so fast and get whatever she wants out of life because she's always operating at a very high frequency and I just love to pick her brain and have her as a guest. Hopefully one day she like, I don't know, maybe she'll discover it yourself instead and be like, I'm down.

So we'll see. Putting it out there, setting the attention, manifestation setting the intention so we'll see. Number seven so yeah just visualizing having faith. Manifestation comes with faith and trusting so deeply that once you think about it you let it go and it's done and you're like okay it's happening that's it it's done it's done and you're like, okay, it's happening. That's it. It's done. It is done. Moving on.

Number eight, surrounding yourself with the right people is going to get you to the next level of your life in general. But when it comes to romantic relationships, if your friends are all talking about how shit dating is, no. Okay. You have to be the one to say, we got to reframe this we have to think positively about dating when you speak things they manifest into existence. Your word is your wand. Your word is your wand meaning what you say

manifest what you say holds power your words are very powerful so if you're saying dating sucks dating shit dating's the worst that's what you're going to attract into your experience. You're going to keep getting shitty people and shitty life experiences and shitty dating experiences because you believe and you're saying out loud to the universe, give me more of that, give me more shit. When you say dating's the worst, you are literally sending a signal to the universe saying, give me shitty experiences. So you gotta cut that out. If your friends are saying to you dating sucks, you gotta tell them like,

guys, we gotta change the narrative. Dating doesn't suck. Dating is magical. Dating is an experience. It's fun. It's abundant. It's expansive. We get to meet new people.

We get to share our stories with new people. We get to learn about other people. We get to connect with other human beings. And even if it doesn't work out, it's a fun story to tell. Laugh about it. Laughter. Make everything funny. Make everything exciting.

Make dating funny. Okay? Yes, we've all had bad, weird experiences with people on dates. For me, I know I've had the craziest fucking experiences. If you listen to Date Yourself instead, some of my worst dating story episodes, you'll hear how crazy the experiences I've had the craziest fucking experiences. If you listen to date yourself instead, some of my worst dating story episodes, you'll hear how crazy the experiences have had are. Okay, I dated a homeless man by accident. I literally showed up on a date and the guy was homeless.

I've dated guys that literally have, you know, told me that they're in love with their mothers. I've dated guys that have, I've dated guys that showed up and they had teeth missing and they didn't have teeth missing in their dating app pictures, okay? I've had guys tell me that I'm literally fat and ugly to my face. I've had guys tell me to put on makeup because I look bad. I've experienced a plethora of craziness, craziness. I'm not even thinking of the crazy ones. Like those were like the subtle ones.

And I made everything a joke. Like I think it's funny. I think it's entertainment. I look at everything as a story. I made it so I could become a storyteller. I'm like, this is a great story. I could write a book about my life. This is funny because I know

it'll all be worth it in the end. First of all, it builds my character. It gives me stuff to talk about. It makes life fun. It makes life exciting. And it gives you character. It gives you depth. When you go through crazy experiences, it shapes who you are and it gives you depth. You have substance because you have shit to talk about. What would life be if you didn't have road bumps? What would dating be if you never dated anyone that was a little bit weird or crazy? I just feel like the point of dating is to experience these things and then look back and be like, wow, that was a wild ride, but now I've met the love of my life and that was all worth it. And that all taught me something about myself and it was all worth it because even though it was like fucking wild at the time I could look back and say I lived a life that was not average. I

lived a life that was just kind of crazy and kind of cool. Who doesn't want to have a story to tell? I mean this is just who I am this is my personality but I just love having a story to tell and a few people have called me out on this before, where they're like, do you think you get yourself into situations sometimes because you just want things to talk about? And I was like, actually, maybe, because I don't know. It just, it lights me up to have stories to tell.

I think it's fun. I think it's, makes me creative. It sparks something in me that makes me feel more creative and more alive and lit up I'm sure when I meet the love of my life I'll have stories to tell about him too and maybe he'll be on the podcast and maybe we'll build a totally different brand together Who the fuck knows but in the meantime enjoy your single years enjoy the stories Enjoy the era where you can have crazy things happen to you and look back and laugh on it. That's my advice. Number eight, sorry, number nine, I mentioned this in the

beginning of the episode, but trusting in the divine timing and the divine plan, stop forcing things, stop pushing on things, stop desperately scrolling and seeking love. Let it come to you when you're fully whole and have worked on yourself. After listening to this episode I hope it can inspire you to take more action to work on yourself and channel your energy inwards so you don't have to force it with anyone. It's going to happen in divine timing. It's going to happen. You don't have to be such a control freak and try to force yourself to meet people. I truly believe that things manifest when you're in a state of ease, when you're in flow, when you're in alignment, when you're just happy and not looking for it and not

begging the universe for it. Stop begging God or the universe and oh my god please give this to me right now. That means you're not ready for it. When you are begging for something that means you're not ready for it. You're not preparing yourself properly for it because you are communicating that I have something I'm lacking. I have something I'm lacking and if I don't get this right now my life isn't complete or whole. Be whole first and watch everything manifest and come to fruition exactly the way you

envisioned or even greater. Be whole first and watch everything manifest and come to fruition exactly the way you envisioned or even greater. Be whole first. Be happy and be in that happy feeling and that state without the love of your life. That's when they come in. Be content with your own energy. You don't need that person, but it'll be nice when it happens. It will happen in the perfect timing. I can promise you that. If it's been a long time, I understand. If it's been years, I understand. You're probably like, I've tried to do all these things. I've tried to manifest. I've tried to work on myself and heal and it's not happening. Trust me, it will happen the second you let go entirely

when you fully fucking surrender, when you fully surrender and you're fully open and you're an open channel to receive it. I'll give you a little bit of an example. It was Valentine's Day the other day and I was like I don't really want to do anything. I don't really want to go out but I was with my friend and she was like no no no we're going out it's Valentine's Day and I was like I'm not really looking for anyone or anything. Usually like when I would go out it would be to kind of like get the attention of a guy or Whatever look good or whatever and now I'm in a place in my life where I'm like

I do not give a flying fuck about any of that. I just want to be in my own energy and chill I also had just gotten out of the hospital, which is a whole other story But I was in Melbourne before Bali and I was hospitalized. I don't know what I had. It was like some severe virus Dehydration I literally was dying and then I came here and I was like, you know what? I need to go out. I need to go out. Even though I'm tired, even though I'm drained, I just need to go out because it's Valentine's Day. It's the day of love. So we were talking about, you know, meeting the right person and I was talking about it with her and I was like, I just feel like my person is not here there's no man that I would want to interact with here of course when I went out a guy this never

happens to me by the way a guy that I actually find very attractive approached me and he this guy just approached me like came out of nowhere he just like poof like appeared I don't know how me like came out of nowhere he just like poof like appeared i don't know how it happened i was just standing he just like showed up and was like hello hi how are you and we got into this really nice conversation and he was super attractive to me and i was like what's happening right now and i felt very calm and at peace and like grounded and i was like oh this is actually kind of nice to get back into the dating game and interact with a man and open myself up to this energy again. It's actually really refreshing.

I don't think I'll ever see him again but it was just nice because I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't even like remotely thinking about it or thinking about talking to anyone that night. The fact that it just happened so effortlessly and it was just so quick and I didn't even question anything. It was the last thing I even cared about and it just happened because I didn't care. And that's what manifestation is. It's literally when you don't care

because you're so in your own energy and so in your own flow and so happy and loving yourself so much that things just happen. It's not forced, you're not trying to manifest. That's what it is. It's like manifestation we've made it this huge grand thing that becomes this big deal on social media. Oh like how you manifest and there's all these tips and tricks and there's all these guidelines and I'm like no no no no no there's no guidelines. All you have to do is feel good. All you have to do is love yourself so much

and put yourself first and be like, sowing your own energy and everything else happens. That's how you manifest. You don't manifest by trying so hard. It never works. You're literally creating so much resistance when you do that. So that's my advice.

And number 10, embody the present moment and embody where you're at and just be grateful. Just be grateful for your life now, where you're at now, be grateful for the lessons you've experienced, the journeys you've encountered, the people you've experienced and lived with and dated and just be grateful for everything. Be grateful you're healthy, you're happy and you're alive. Be grateful for the opportunities that are ahead before they even happen. You have to maintain the state of gratitude and understand that life will give you things when you

are grateful for what you already have. You will manifest faster when you're grateful for the experiences you've already have and what you're already living currently. Because it puts you on a higher vibration. It puts you on the level of I have everything I need already. When you feel like you have everything you need already, that is when shit manifests. That is when it happens. That is when you're gonna meet your person.

You feel like they're already here. They're already next to you. You're already having coffee with them in bed. They've already brought you your cappuccino in bed, with the dogs. You're going for a walk later. Then you're going to do your own thing and come back together at night,

watch a movie on the couch and cuddle and go to bed like my dream life. Okay, I already feel like I see that vision already. Like I already see him I already see that person. And I'm happy about it. I'm grateful for it. I'm like, thank you. Thank you God for giving me my dream, man, my dream reality, my dream life everything I've ever wanted is finally here. Like thank you so much. Thank God, thank the world, thank the universe, thank God for what you want before you even have it. Thank you so much for the love

of my life. Thank you so much for giving me everything I've ever wanted. Thank you so much for allowing me to create the life of my dreams and be with the man of my dreams or the woman of my dreams. Be grateful. Feel it into existence and be grateful. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of Date Yourself Instead. I hope you loved it. I hope it can inspire you to manifest by letting go and releasing and just trusting the process, being in your own energy. I hope it could inspire you to wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed, empowered,

and ready to attract the love of your life. It's already happened for you, I know it. And if you have any success stories after listening to this episode, after doing the love letter method, after really being in your own energy, I would love to hear from you on Instagram. You could always send me a DM, Atlas, or or on the podcast account, at date yourself instead.

Remember to share this episode and the podcast with your friends, with your family, with your co-workers, with anyone that you feel could benefit from the podcast. Every share, every word of mouth, comment about the podcast, every share on Instagram stories, everything really counts and matters. It would mean the world to me. It really does help the show. And if you haven't already, also be sure to check out Dare to Detach and the MindBody Soul Reset Master Classes. They are at the lowest price possible now. So I highly recommend you grabbing the master classes

before the price goes up and before we do our entire rebrand. I highly, highly, highly recommend joining if you want access to uplevel to transform your life to manifest even faster. Thank you again as always. I love you, I'm grateful for you, and stay tuned for next Monday.