Date Yourself Instead - 31 life lessons I learned before turning 31

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Happy birthday to me! IT'S CAPRICORN SEASON! On this episode, I talk about 31 valuable life lessons I've learned before turning 31 years old. Enjoy!!!! xx

Okay, hello everyone and welcome to another episode of date yourself instead. I cannot believe that I am turning 31. I don't feel 31. I feel like age is just a number and that's also why I don't really talk about my age that much on the podcast because I know a lot of people will label me as old. Because a lot of the listeners on this podcast are maybe in their early 20s or even younger, but I also have people that listen that are in their 50s,

60s and even 70s, okay? My grandma used to listen to my podcast on repeat and honestly, she would apply information that I would say into her own life even at 70 years old. I just feel like age is really not a reflection of how you feel internally. It doesn't define who you are. It doesn't define really anything about your life. I believe that you could start a new journey or new career or new path or a new relationship at any age. And that's the beauty of growth and understanding that your soul doesn't age.

Your soul is just your soul. And maybe you age physically, but mentally you're still young and sharp. And on today's episode, I wanted to talk a little bit about my birthday. And I'm going to be covering 31 valuable lessons I learned before turning 31. That I'm definitely going to take and carry with me

into 2024 as well. Also, I know I say it every fucking episode, but I really pride myself on being a Capricorn. My birthday is January 19th, and I have a lot of Capricorn placements in my chart. Now Capricorns are known as driven ambitious, but they could also be known as pretty cut throat. And I was talking with you, my friends about this.

And they're like, you are such a Capricorn, you give such Capricorn energy. A lot of people have also told me they think I'm a Leo, but I'm actually not, I have no Leo in my chart at all with whatsoever, which is really fascinating. However, all of my best friends or the people I'm closest with or get along with and vibe with the most are Leo.

So I don't know what that's about. I have to do some more digging as far as my astrology goes, but I do feel like I am pretty aligned with my astrology sign. And yeah, this is not an astrology episode. But I definitely want to have an astrologer on the podcast this year because I find the world of astrology just so fascinating and so cool. And I think something's really to apply to me. Other things don't. Before I dive into today's episode for real and cover all the valuable lessons, I learned before turning 31,

I also wanted to give a little shout out to my grandma, Nanny Berda. So me and my brothers used to call her Nanny Berda, but her name, her full name was Roberta. And my grandma actually passed over the holidays and she had been diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and she passed during Christmas. And I was actually very close with her and she taught me so much about never losing her

young spirit, even though she was in her 80s. She always had such a youthful spirit and she was obsessed with social media. She was obsessed with following me and engaging with my content and she had TikTok and she had Instagram friends and she would always be scrolling. She used her phone a hundred times more than me, which is insane to think about because I'm always on my phone especially because I work for my phone. saying to think about because I'm always on my phone, especially because I work from my phone. But she was just so youthful in her spirit and she acted 25 even though she was 87. And it was so comical to everyone in my family. And I just loved how she lived her life to the absolute fullest, even though she was much older, she carried herself in a way where people,

just her energy gave, her energy, it was like that of a 25 year old, basically. So it was just really inspiring for me. And I think I attribute a lot of the way that I see the world and my perspective to her because she never really grew up if that makes sense. And I very much feel that way about myself. Even though I'm turning 31, I really do feel like I have such a young spirit at heart. And I'm not saying being in your 30s is old at all, that's not the implication here. But I'm saying as I get older, in a way, I feel younger because I'm able

to be more free emotionally, because I've learned so many lessons throughout my experience in my 20s. I feel the sense of new freedom now where I'm able to do more and see more and be the best version of myself and step into my power in an entirely different way, because I've learned such valuable healing lessons

throughout my 20s. And being 31 to me doesn't feel old at all. Even though there might be some people who perceive age in a certain way, I really don't. And it's so fascinating too. Everyone has a different perspective on this, but there was this one person that I'm friends with, and obviously I'm going to keep this anonymous, but I love him.

He's such a good guy, and one of the first times I grabbed drinks with him, we were in London, we found this cool, speak-easy-to-go-to, and we're just having a conversation, and I realized that I didn't know how old he was. And I said to him, I was like, wait, how old are you? I don't even know your age, which is so weird because obviously I know how old my friends are. So I realized that we had never discussed it. And he's also a Leo, by the way, which is really funny. And he said to me, I don't believe in age as a concept. I don't believe in it at all because

people will have this preconceived notion of you or like they'll think of you differently once they attach a number and an age to you. And it shifts people's perception of you and your wisdom and what you're capable of. And I don't like that. So I prefer not to even share my age with anyone. And I was like, you know what, I really respect that. And I totally agree with it.

Who made this thing about birthdays? Like, why do we have to celebrate certain ages and certain milestones? Or whatever it is, obviously birthdays are fun, but there's another side to it where I'm like, yeah, people will be quick to judge you based on your age for sure. And I know 20-year-olds that are as mature as some 40-year-olds, I know. I've dated guys that were 35 that acted like they were 15. And I've also been with people who were 27 years old and they acted like they were 37 years old. Age doesn't really define anything. And I think you get the going of what I'm trying to say here.

I don't want to repeat myself too much. But I'm really proud of the woman I've become at age 31. 30 was an amazing year. We grew the podcast to almost 600,000 subscribers, which is insane. We have over 12 million downloads in counting, which is also crazy and wild to me. And we're definitely going to be having some amazing guests on this year. And I'm so, so, so excited. And I'm thankful and I'm grateful. And I'm just happy to be here recording episodes for you guys. And to have this as a career is something that I didn't really

expect to happen. I didn't think that I was going to be in the podcast space. I didn't really find a calling for it or have a calling for it, I should say. But when I was going through the worst few years of my life towards the end of my 20s and I was suffering from a lot of depression and anxiety and just really going through the emotions of a lot of different things. I realized that I needed a new path and a new purpose. And I didn't have any purpose as far as when it came to my work and what I was doing. And I felt really stuck.

And then once I pushed myself so hard, I really had to push myself to record my first episode. That's when my life changed. And I realized I had a new calling and it was my inner voice the whole time speaking to me. And that's why I always tell people just trust that inner voice even if you're hesitant, even if you're unsure, just trust it and see what happens because you never fucking know. And that could lead to a new, a totally new path, a new timeline, open up new doors for you and change your entire life for the better. and open up new doors for you and change your entire life for the better. And I'm not gonna say it was perfect or easy. There were a lot of mishaps in the beginning

of the podcast space. And I was signed to management that I did not like. And there were a lot of ups and downs throughout the journey and learning about podcasting. However, I do feel like now I'm in a place where I'm really grounded and I'm confident in the content I'm putting out place where I'm really grounded and I'm confident in the content I'm putting out. And I'm so insanely grateful of the community here because everyone that follows the podcast,

your words, the messages you send me, the DMs you send on the podcast page, I see all of them and I see how amazing all of you are and how we're all technically in this healing journey together. Even though we're all at different stages of life, we all have this thing common where we have big hearts and we just want to be loved. And that's the most beautiful thing in the world to me. So I thank you so much. I appreciate all of you. And okay, so let's dive into today's episode.

So the first thing I wanna touch on are just some valuable keynotes that I picked up. Actually, I was rereading the book, Why Men Love Bitches this morning while I was having my coffee. I woke up and I was like, you know what? I wanna open this book up again because I remember there were some good points in here

and moving into the new year, moving into 2024. I want to refresh my memory on dating and what it means to step into my power and be a grounded, confident woman going into the dating world. And there were some valuable keynotes I wanted to mention on the podcast before I really dive into all the 31 lessons, I think this taps into perfectly what it means to really come into the dating world from a healthy grounded place as a woman. So here we go. The first thing is you want to maintain your independence when it comes to going into a new relationship.

You want to know who you are, and that's the whole point of this podcast and the messaging behind the podcast is all about dating yourself. You really want to know who you are and you want to know how to maintain your own independence, whether you're in a relationship or not, before you dive into the dating world. You want to have your own life and there was a quote I heard from someone, it was a YouTuber. I forgot who it was, but when I was going through my breakup, I was listening to him. And he was talking about how the most attractive thing and the most attractive human quality someone has is when they're so in love with their own

life, because you feel it and you feel how happy they are to be living in their own little vibration and their own little world. And it's just magnetic because you pick up on how happy they are to be living in their own little vibration and their own little world. And it's just magnetic because you pick up on how happy that person is with their own goals, with their own dreams, and what they're working towards. And I definitely agree with that. I feel like when I meet people who are so passionate about what they're doing in their life, big or small, it doesn't have to be, you know, being the president of the US or being the CEO of a massive company, it has nothing to do with status. It's just anything that you love to be passionate about that and to radiate happiness while you're pursuing that is a very attractive thing.

And just being comfortable and happy with your own life, just knowing that you have your own shit going on is an amazing thing in general for everyone. And I realized that I would often chase after people trying to latch on to their lifestyles in a way and make their lives integrated with mine instead of just focusing on myself and my own goals. Now, I won't say that this has been a thing for me in every relationship, but there's been times where I've seen people that had shit going on and I was like desperate to be included in their bubble and what they were doing instead of focusing on what I could be doing to have my own unique special bubble so they could be a part of mine. I think it should be a mutual thing for sure when you're entering a relationship

you should both have your own things going on, but just making sure that you're maintaining your own independence, you still have your own plans, you still do things just for yourself, you still take good care of yourself for you and not for someone else. Those are really important things. Another example of this would be if

you started cancelling your plans with your friends for a guy, which I've also done before, and I'm sure many of us can relate to this, where we get so excited over a new relationship or a new guy that we're seeing that's we're not even official with yet, and we start sacrificing other plans that we've made or if we're supposed to see our friends, we can say, oh, actually, I really want to go on the state. And although at times that's okay, because there has to be a balance,

I feel like just prioritizing your own shit before jumping ahead into, you know, you don't know where it's going yet, is usually more oftentimes beneficial than not. The next principle I read was that you don't know where it's going yet, is usually more oftentimes beneficial than not. The next principle I read was that you don't want to actively be pursuing someone all the time. So if you're trying to constantly seek the attention of someone else, trying to make plans with them,

trying to invest so much in them and you're chasing after them, more oftentimes than not, they're running away from you. If you have to chase and pursue and hunt down someone to want to date you, more often times than not, they're probably pulling away from you or running away from you. I think it should be equal. I think the healthiest approach when you're starting a relationship is having the guy initially pursue you and then you show interest and you go back and forth in this like equal cadence of like you know that he's

pursuing you, but you're also reciprocating and showing interest. I think that's always the best, healthy balance. You don't have to play hard to get. There's no games involved. It's just allowing him to take a little bit of the lead while you're also showing him that you care and you genuinely appreciate that he's taking the lead. I find that when I'm in situations like that, it always ends up working out. But when I'm the one who's trying to make the plans or in the past when I've actually initiated a lot of conversation, which was rare for me because I'm very stubborn, but there's been times where I know my energy was more onto them than back into myself, and I would

be pushing and throwing my energy at someone, trying to make them reciprocate, and it would never end well. So I think the rule of thumb going into the new year and being 31, I really think it's important for me to allow people to pursue me or men, I should say, to pursue me while I'm also reciprocating positive warm energy and saying like how a pre and showing how appreciative I am that they're pursuing me. And I think that's how I want to approach my dating life. However, not everyone might agree with this, and that's okay. But that's how I'm stepping into the new year. Do what you want with that information.

I know that's one of my favorite lines to say on the podcast, but it's true. I'm not some sort of expert all the time when it comes to every single little thing. And I usually just talk from my experience in what works for me, and if you agree with it, great, if you don't, that's fine. The next principle I read was,

you should be remaining in control of your own time, which I definitely also agree with, and this ties into just maintaining your sense of independence. So, you're not rearranging your entire schedule and everything you're doing in your life, take care of it to someone else. And this could apply to relationships or anyone else in your life. You're operating at a schedule that you're comfortable with. And obviously, once you hit a certain point in your relationship, there will be adjustments

because when you are dating someone, sometimes you have to give and take, and it should be mutual. But in the beginning, if you're rearranging your whole life and your schedule and your plans, to see someone that isn't even heavily investing in you, or that is being wishy-washy or flaky with you, just be aware that you're probably wasting your time and energy. I remember when I was dating a guy that I really liked, but he told me he didn't want a relationship. I was still choosing plans with him over my friends, and this is when I was a lot younger,

but I remember just making all these sacrifices and cancelling on people that actually cared about me to see this man that didn't give two shits about me. And when you start creating your whole schedule to cater to someone that's not even going to be anything serious long-term, that's when you really have to check yourself. And I would never do anything like that ever again because I know how valuable my time and energy is and I have a commitment to myself to value and honor that.

So it's all about boundaries, right? And it's all about knowing that your schedule and your time is valuable and precious and you don't wanna waste it on people who don't see the value in it. Another principle I read is remembering to place a high value on yourself. And I said this before, but you really are the prize

in the sense of you should be treating yourself every day like you're your biggest priority, which you are and self love and self respect and knowing your worth is so fundamental into attracting healthy love because people feel when you respect yourself. So you're going to attract people that are going to be able to respect you. If you don't respect yourself and you're very insecure and you're coming from a place of insecurity and you don't really value yourself the way you should. You can attract people that will take advantage of you. And I know this because I've dealt with this many times

where I would operate from a place of fear and insecurity when entering a new relationship or a situation ship, whatever you wanna call it. And these people would walk all over me and manipulate me. And now I'm at a place where I feel so at peace in my body and my frame. And I feel like my energy is so grounded that the people who have been coming into my life now,

when it comes to dating, the second I see something that I don't feel is going to align with me long term, I immediately have the pain. I immediately have the strength and the power to cut it off. And in the past, I would give people so many chances, and I would see the potential, and I'd say, oh my God, like, maybe they'll change, and I would wait around for changes to be made. I don't wait around anymore. I'm very committed to myself, dating myself, and I think part of the meaning of dating yourself is honoring your boundaries and knowing your worth. So for me, I'm like, if I see a red flag, that's just not going to work for me, that I feel

disrespected or I feel really uncomfortable or if you're really anxious, it's not to say I would write everyone off, but I would just really be aware and create a firm boundary and really honor all of the knowledge that I've acquired and know what to avoid and what's okay and what's not okay. And more often times than not, your intuition is always right and speaking to you and that's why tying it back into what I was saying earlier about trusting your inner voice, it's so crucial and it's so important

because your inner voice is always speaking to you and it's so important because your inner voice is always speaking to you and it really always knows the answers. And I would always ignore it when I got into situationships. I'd be like, you know what? Maybe they didn't meet that way or maybe they canceled really because they were, I don't know, just you will make excuses for anyone if you want to and you choose to be blind to the red flags. But now that I'm older and wiser, that ain't happening anymore. Okay, 2024 is about self-love, self-respect, abundance, stepping into your power and really knowing your worth and honoring it. And now it's time to dive into the real meat of today's episode. I

hate that word, by the way, I hate the word meat. I think it's gross. I don't know why, I just said that. But yeah, okay. Anyways, we're gonna dive into the topic of today's episode, 31 Lessons I Learned before turning 31. So here we go.

Number one, stop seeking external validation from people replying to you in the way that you expect them to reply to you or to cater to you. Stop getting upset if someone doesn't text you the right way or doesn't respond to the right way or they leave you undelivered for hours or one of your friends just isn't reciprocating a right way. Their actions are not a reflection of your self-worth and you have to understand that you

cannot change people, you can only change yourself and how you respond and react. And I think that's so important to note because oftentimes we're going to seek external validation from people, we're going to want praise, we're going to want to feel good based on the text they're sending us or how they're treating us in general when in reality Their actions have nothing to do with your level of self-worth and once you really understand that and you focus more on how Much you actually care about yourself and your own needs and you direct your energy back into you That's when other people will start to shift their behavior because they sense that you're over their bullshit. If someone's treating you the wrong way and you make an energy shift internally and you're

like, fuck this, I'm out, they feel it, they'll sense it and they'll respond accordingly. Number two, regardless of how amazing you are and how much you're doing in the world, there's always going to be someone that critiques you and tries to take your power away. Now, this reminds me of a recent situation where I was busting my ass to work on my podcast and make it the best it could possibly be, and I was doing all the marketing for it, and also recording episodes and editing and taking on so much. And I was doing the absolute most because I was super passionate about my work. I care about my work. I care about the messaging. I care. Okay. And I had a manager

that was so demeaning and demoralizing and degrading and he treated me like I was basically nothing. Like he didn't care about my success. He pretended like he did for moments in time, but there was never any indication with his actions that he did give a fuck. And if he did, he did a terrible job at showing it. And it was so uncomfortable for me. I was constantly anxious, I was constantly sick, and I felt like in a way powerless.

And when you feel powerless around someone, that's the worst fucking feeling in the world. And right then and there, I decided to cut it off. At a certain point, it was just too much for me to handle. I was like, I cannot do this anymore. I'd rather work alone and figure it out along the way because this just feels like some phony, weird relationship. And he would always have a remark

about what I was doing and not give me any sort of like praise, if that makes sense. Like, he wasn't willing to congratulate me, even when I hit a million downloads on the podcast, he didn't even say a word. And for me, especially if someone's on my team and managing me, I need that. Like, I need someone to support me and have my back

and make me feel loved and accepted and make me feel supported. And that just wasn't the case. And I felt I was doing the most, but there was just that one person that just didn't even care. And it makes me feel like it applies to this number two because it's like, regardless of how amazing you are and how much you're accomplishing in your life, there's always going to be people that try to take your power away

and make you feel small and you just got to say fuck that and cut the matter of your life. Or if it's on social media and you're getting ridiculed or bullied, you know, just understand that those people are wasting their energy trying to take your power away. When, meanwhile, you're doing big and amazing things, and you're doing the most you can, and the best thing you could do is just block it all out and tune it all out, and don't assign any meaning to it, because it really is meaningless at the end of the day. Number three, staying calm and grounded

in emotional situations is the key to finding the best solutions. I think what I've learned throughout the years of going through a lot of toxic up and down cycles with people and really up and down emotional scenarios in general. When I've overreacted and blown things out of proportion and gone really upset about certain things, they ended up not even being a big deal in the long term anyway. And then I would look back and regret how I reacted. And the key, I think, to really finding solutions and to also reconciling situations and making

things better, if something's really stressing you out or making you emotional or upset is to withdraw and see it from like an outside perspective instead of you being the one in a situation and just taking a deep breath and understanding that like your life isn't over, whatever the situation is like in most cases, if it's not a life-threatening situation where you're about to die, I'm not even kidding, like it's oftentimes not as big of a deal as you're making it. And I feel like just having that perspective now has helped me stay more common grounded and it has led to dissolving the issues in a much faster and more efficient way.

I don't even remember 90% of the problems that I've had over the last year or so because I've been really good at squashing them in a really peaceful way. The second anything happens. And I also had someone in my life for a while that was really good at doing this too. So anytime I would have an issue and I would go to him about it, he would give me a really grounded perspective on it, which was also super helpful. If you know anyone like that in your life, keep them around because they're special. When someone's able to keep their cool in really stressful situations, I admire that

more than anything. Number four, if someone really respects you and values you, they will make that crystal fucking clear. That's self-explanatory. If someone loves you, someone wants to see you, if someone values you in your time and your energy, they're going to make that clear through their actions. It's not just going to be what they say, it's going to be how they make you feel and what they do. That aligns with that. And you got to be aware of that, moving into the new year year really be aware of that and pay attention to that because a lot of people will throw bullshit words at you and not follow through with anything they say

So keep that in mind Number five you deserve it all an amazing career an amazing love life good family relationships healthy friendships and ultimate peace and happiness Number six the only person you should compare yourself to is your higher self and how they want you to show up in the world. Your higher self is always calling to you. What could you do to be a better person than you were yesterday? What goals could you set for yourself now that maybe you didn't have last year? Just taking small steps towards becoming a greater, more evolved version of you is the best way to keep yourself motivated.

Obviously, it could be healthy for some people to compare themselves to others as a form of inspiration and motivation, but I know for me if I'm getting so consumed in other people's timelines and lives and start comparing myself, it drains me. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. And that's just my personality, and I feel like for me, the most efficient way of getting shit done and stepping into my higher self is actually envisioning her and envisioning that person and saying, okay, what would she do right now in this moment?

What would she be telling me to do? And treat it like your best friend talking to you. Number seven, big changes don't happen overnight. They happen when you're super consistent and show up for yourself every day. Number eight, your self-concept and how you value yourself is how other people are going to treat you. Number nine, you are not responsible for other people's bad behaviors and you don't have to defend them or justify their actions either. You can simply let them go.

Number 10. Letting go of what no longer is bringing you peace and happiness is the key to an enriching, peaceful life and the solution to a lot of problems. Now letting go is the hardest thing sometimes because when we are so in love with someone or we're so attached to a career or a person or a place or environment, whatever it is, we almost feel like in the moment that's the best it's ever going to get and that's the best we're ever going to find and it can really be hard to completely remove yourself and let go when you feel like that's all that your life has to offer, but that is not true. go when you feel like that's all that your life has to offer, but that is not true. And that's only true if you tell yourself that narrative because your thoughts are everything.

So if you're telling yourself that narrative, like, I'm never going to find anyone better, that's what's going to show up for you in your reality. But if you actually change that narrative and you say to yourself, you know what? Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe I'm being redirected to something even greater in the future, that's when things start to shift and change for you. Number 11, if your inner voice is speaking to you, listen to her or him. She knows all the answers. Number 12, take people at face value, see them from what actions they take and not just the words they are saying.

Number 13. Commit to yourself fully to become the greatest version of you and that's when you become magnetic and everyone else feels that around you. Everything else will fall into place once you develop an amazing, strong self-love for yourself. Number 14. You can never fuck up what's actually meant for you, so that's situation you thought you ruined by lashing out and going ape shit on this person.

That person never would have been your partner anyway and the right person would never make you feel like you're going insane all the fucking time so you did not ruin it and don't be so hard on yourself. Number 15. Being honest with yourself will save you a lot of heartbreak in the future. Choose your partners with intention and honesty to yourself. You owe it to yourself to be honest when it comes to choosing partners. And a lot of the times I would deny myself of that and convince myself out of my own needs because I didn't think I really deserved it deep down. When I said I wanted a partner who was respectful and loyal and really my physical type, I would always deny myself that in a way if I met someone that didn't actually match those requirements, I would lie to myself and convince myself that it could work.

When deep down, I knew that it wouldn't. So just be honest with yourself. That's the key to attracting really healthy partners when you know you're being authentic and real. Number 16, when all else fails, breathe and meditate. These two things will help you ground yourself more when times get tough. Number 17, the little things are the things that are going to make you feel the happiest and most fulfilled. Coffee in the morning, cozy pajamas, your hug sweatpants, your cozy bathrobe, your candles, your essential oils, your hot baths at night, being on the beach and puppies. Number 18, manifestation happens when you are trying the least to have something manifest.

You just do and move towards feeling light, free and unattached the outcome, and that's when the manifestation comes. You cannot force your manifestations. Number 19, detach to attract. Detaching is simply not allowing the external to affect you and it always works like a charm. When you remove your attention from a problem, if someone's really bothering you,

someone's really bugging you and stressing you out, and you suddenly shift your focus, let's just say you're in a fight with someone, and then suddenly you're really riled up and you're really upset. And then someone just offers you two tickets to your favorite music artist for free, or someone comes up to you and smiles and just gives you a big hug and they're like, everything's gonna be fine, and you shift your attention and your focus, you'll realize that the problem starts to dissipate and you'll realize that once you detach from whatever you're so hyperfixated on, things tend to resolve themselves in a really magical way.

And I've noticed that with so many different scenarios in my life. Number 20, you can constantly reinvent yourself. It is never too late, you could restart at any age at any time you choose. Number 21, when you decide to release what's no longer meant for you something better will always take its place Number 22 being selfish sometimes is actually selfless If you put yourself first often that means you could show up for other people better because you're coming from a place of self-love

and that will trickle into every other aspect of your life. I feel like because I'm able to take so much time to heal myself and to focus on myself, I'm actually able to show up better in my work towards my friends, towards my family, and I'm more stable that way, which is beautiful. Number 23, visualization is the key to manifesting your wildest dreams. I always visualize before I go to sleep. Before I put my head on the pillow, I visualize how I want my future to feel.

I don't think about toxic bullshit. I don't think about my past. I don't watch scary movies anymore for this reason. I truly believe that visualization will dictate the rest of your life and your timeline and it is so important. Healthy visualization. Don't visualize the worst case scenarios.

Visualize how you want your future to be. Number 24. A solid bedtime routine will help you sleep very well. I started doing breathwork classes and meditation classes before bed and every time I do them I get the best night's sleep. I also put my phone on an airplane mode now and it's been such a game changer. Number 25. Being ghosted is actually a blessing. Rejection is always redirection. Number 26, the power of your thoughts is really everything. Make sure you redirect any negative thoughts into

positive ones. Anytime you catch yourself going into a downward spiral of the worst case things you could possibly think of, catch yourself and redirect your energy into something positive. This is going to reflect in your reality. Once you shift your negative thinking patterns, everything gets better. And I've seen it happen time and time again in my own life, and I cannot stress this enough. The power of your thoughts is everything. Number 27. Be around people who make your nervous system feel safe. Number 28. Remember to travel as much as you can. Solo travel will really enrich your life.

I've never regretted an experience traveling. Everything has taught me something. Every new environment, every new place I've been to has taught me some sort of valuable lesson. You always gain new experiences and perspective and it's such a good investment. Number 29. Taking care of your body physically now will make you mentally stronger. It's so important. Number 30.

You cannot change anyone. You can only change who you are. I briefly mentioned this in the beginning, but this is also so fundamental and important. You cannot change the external, you can only change your internal, which will change the external, which is a very powerful thing to affirm to yourself. Because it's a good reminder that the more inner our work you do and the more you know how to control your emotions and your actions and your thought, that will reflect in your external reality and change everything for the better. And number 31, regardless if you're in a committed

relationship or not, the most important relationship you could have is with yourself. Still remember to take yourself on dates and to care for yourself the most. Date yourself instead. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. This is a birthday episode. Happy birthday to me. I'm so grateful for all of you. Thank you so much as always for being here and listening to the podcast.

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend and rate it on Apple and Spotify. Your support and your love means the absolute world to me. I love you. Thank you as always, and stay tuned for future episodes.