Date Yourself Instead - ASK LYSS - your questions on dating, self worth, my future husband, how to start a podcast, career advice, & more.

Episode Date: June 1, 2025

ASK LYSS.

You guys know when it's that time of the month and you don't want to wash your hair and you just don't want to do anything because your hormones are just telling you to just rot. It's that time of the month for me right now and I'm feeling the lazy vibes. I'm pretty lazy right now and I didn't wash my hair so we're wearing a hat today. We're going to need a lot of coffee. Harris, so we're wearing a hat today. We're gonna need a lot of coffee. We're gonna need a lot of coffee for today's episode because I have a lot of brain fog. When it's that time of the month for me,

when I'm PMSing and my hormones are just so out of balance and crazy, I just feel like I can't think straight. I don't know if anyone else gets this way, but for me, it's pretty bad. So bear with me on today's episode. I know it's still gonna be a good one because today's episode is focusing on you guys, the community. I have so many questions in my DMs about dating about relationships and this episode is going to be dedicated to answering your questions.

I asked you guys on my Instagram stories. If you don't follow my Instagram, it's at date yourself instead. Definitely give it a follow if you want to connect with me on a more personal level if you have any questions for me. I am the one running my Instagram account. I'm a control freak. I don't want anyone handling my social media because I love reading my messages and connecting with you guys directly. So it is me behind the account. I can't get to everyone right away, but if you do have a message for me, please always send me a DM. On today's episode, I'm going to be covering

your questions and the things you've been asking me in my Instagram DMs. I always say you could ask me literally anything in my DMs. Nothing is off limits and I'm going to be addressing as much as I can. There were a lot of questions even in the first hour and I'm gonna try to cover as much as possible. So let's go. Okay so the first question is actually this wasn't going to be my first question but I just opened it and I think it was assigned to read it first because it's interesting and I have a lot to say. Can you give examples of what a daily intention looks like for you when you wake up? When you wake up, what do you do? How do you program your day? How do you set your intention for the day and move forward and create a routine for yourself? I think every year is different for me, but this

year is the most powerful one because I feel like I've taken the most control of my day and my habits. I set a word. I set a powerful word that is the theme of the month. For February, my word is powerful. I want to feel powerful when I wake up every day and I ask myself what actions and steps can I take to feel powerful and to align with that word. So a tip I have for you for the rest of the year from February, March, April, whatever on is to think of a word that correlates with the month. Think of a word that is going to be your theme for the month ahead. So for March, mine might be nurturing or caring or vibrant or active. It's just a word that will guide you into creating habits for

yourself for the month. And this month was powerful. I had a little bit of a setback. I was in Melbourne the first week of February. I was like ready to go. I was on the plane working the whole time. I was like ready to go. I was on the plane working the whole time I got so much done and then I stepped off the plane and I came down with a really Crazy illness. I don't know what I even had I had to take myself to the hospital and It was pretty traumatic not gonna lie I literally was like crawling into the emergency room because I could barely stand. And it just turned me off to Australia.

I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. And after that week, I decided to come up with a word for the rest of the month to live by, because I felt really weak and I felt really shaken up by that experience, especially being solo traveling and being alone in a hospital was not on the bingo cards for 2025. And I was like, this is so scary. But I decided to set the word and the intention after that. And it's been a game changer for me because now I'm moving towards building up my power again, building up momentum again, and stepping into my power again.

Because when you go through an experience that could be really rattling, I felt weak, I felt very off balance and not in my body. And I was like, okay, the theme of this month is power. So that's how I'm setting my intentions every day for this month. I go in thinking, how can I be more powerful? And you could choose whatever word you want.

How could I be more powerful? How can I show up better and radiate power and confidence and abundance? And I always say my I am affirmations. I am so lucky. I am attracting everything I want. I literally have my wallpaper right now. I change my wallpaper all the time, honestly, but the theme of this month is my wallpaper all the time, honestly, but the theme of this month is lucky, abundance and power. And my wallpaper right now says I'm so lucky. And it has a heart set on fire, which is tied into the heart chakra and like opening up your energy and being on fire, which is correlated with Kundalini practices, which you're going to hear about on the podcast.

If you haven't already, I'm posting episodes about Kundalini soon. I'm so lucky is such a powerful affirmation. I am so abundant. I'm so lucky. I'm so prosperous. I am so powerful. You have to just convince your brain that you are these things. And then things will start to happen and manifest because your

subconscious mind is everything. This is what my masterclass, the mind, body, soul reset and dare to detach is literally centered on and focused on. It's rewiring your subconscious mind to attract abundance and to attract your dream life and to attract everything you've ever wanted in life. Both of those masterclasses combined, I created for a reason. I created them for you to become the most powerful unstoppable version of you by rewiring your brain. Your brain is the most powerful organ, your brain dictates your reality, your mind creates everything

else around you, and those master classes are designed to reprogram everything so you could reset, rewire, and step into your most abundant, exciting year. You want to be lucky? Take those master classes. You want to detach and let go of the bullshit in life? Take those master classes. I created my master classes for this community specifically.

I put my blood, sweat, and tears into making them perfect because I want you guys to be successful. I want you guys to heal I want you guys to succeed when I created these courses. I had your healing in mind. That was the goal and that was the reason I created them in the first place was to actually help you guys as a supplement and as a way to better your lives even more after listening to the episodes, after listening to Date Yourself instead. If you need that extra little push, the materials are yours forever. You get access forever. It goes straight to your email. You also get access to a

private group community with all the other members and you could chat with them as you go about your healing journey. And it's just so amazing and it's so exciting. And I hope you join us. We're doing an entire rebrand into the spring. Highly recommend grabbing the courses while you can at the lowest price. I hope to see you there. You could go to the show notes for the link, or you could also go to my Instagram at dare to detach or at date yourself instead to download the courses. The next question, how do you handle a friend

that wants to get with my boyfriend? Although my boyfriend is flirty, so it's partially his fault. It keeps me in this place of feeling stuck because I feel like if we broke up, they'd get together. Hold on one second. You're telling me you are friends with someone who flirts with your boyfriend and he flirts back.

That is not acceptable. There needs to be boundaries set in place. If you feel insecure in any way, shape or form or your gut is telling you something, you need to have a conversation with your boyfriend about the situation and how you're feeling and open up to him and communicate clearly about this insecurity. I know that is a huge boundary for me and a red flag if I feel like my partner is in any way shape or form interested in anyone

else, especially someone that I'm supposed to be best friends with or whatever it is. I don't know your relationship with this girl, you said a friend? That's not a friend. If you feel like your boyfriend and this girl would date if you broke up, that's a huge red flag in my opinion. So my piece of advice is to communicate very openly with your boyfriend and say, listen, I have a gut feeling that you have some sort of interest in this girl and my body is just telling me this and I've been thinking about it. It's on my mind. I don't really appreciate it and I don't like how I feel can we talk about it can

you tell me what's going on how you're feeling and see what he has to say about the situation I do think there needs to be clear boundaries set for you if he's the right person and he's the right partner for you he's going to respect that and listen to you and understand where you're coming from. Because I just know for me, if someone was flirting with one of my friends, one, I wouldn't consider that a friend if she was flirting back. And two, I just would always feel on edge and insecure. And I would never want to feel like that in a relationship. And you shouldn't have to feel that way.

A good relationship is built off of trust and safety and feeling secure with the person that you're with. So if you do not feel safe and secure and you feel like the foundation is shaky, you need to have that talk with him. And based on his reaction, you'll know what steps to take from there. If he's gaslighting you and saying,

oh, you know, you're crazy, you're absolutely nuts, that's not what it is. That's a warning sign. But if he's willing to actually talk about it with you and say, why do you feel this way? How can I fix this? How can I understand you better? That's a green flag. So just know the difference and understand that your feelings are valid.

And if you feel a certain way, you're probably not completely wrong. There's obviously something there that's triggering you to believe that they might have a connection. So honor yourself, love yourself enough to communicate this, and then see what happens. And based on his response, I think you'll have an idea of this person is actually right for you. What is your best advice when you're in a season of constantly feeling lonely and isolated? I have been there. I understand it. I go through a lot of seasons where I'm alone, where I'm working, where I'm literally in the podcast studio and I don't talk to anyone for weeks at a time. And I'm like burying my head in my work and I don't have a social life or even sometimes I don't have the motivation to work and I'm not seeing anyone and I'm

alone. I let myself go through little mini phases where I'm feeling sad and it's hard for me to push myself. I feel like having community is so healthy and important. So I get it. I've been there. I think the key is to force yourself to connect with people, even if it's in a very subtle way,

even if it means taking yourself out to dinner and talking to a waiter or talking to the bartender at a bar and just having a tea at the bar, you don't even need to drink, just having some sort of social interaction will lift your spirits and lift your mood. Sometimes you have to force yourself to connect, even though it can be really challenging and difficult

sometimes, and I get it, even complimenting a stranger, just making yourself known and putting yourself out there to connect will light you up a little bit and make you feel like you still are connecting with people, even if you're going through a period of isolation. When I was just in New York for the last month, I was seeing my parents for my birthday and I was in this like isolated bubble in my apartment again, which is why I left New York too, because I tend to isolate myself there. It was me forcing myself in order to maintain that sense of community, going to the gym, going to Pilates classes, talking to the Pilates instructor saying, Hey, how are you?

How's your day? Listening to YouTube videos that are motivational to me. Joe Dispenza. He's like a father figure to me. I love watching his content, watching people that I look up to and admire. YouTube video interviews and absorbing content of people that really inspire me to keep going and to keep being better and to keep moving through seasons of life where I do feel alone in order to not be so isolated.

You have to force yourself to connect with people more. You have to almost build your own sense of community and not feeling alone. Even though I have thousands of people listening to the podcast, there's still moments where I'm like, it's all digital. You know what I mean? It's just through my phone. And when I'm actually here in real life and there's no physical bodies around me, oh my God, I'm alone.

That feeling comes in waves. I just highly suggest you pushing yourself a little bit more to engage with other people, even if it feels very uncomfortable. Also reaching out to people because sometimes people don't know that you're feeling alone and the people in your life, even if it's just a family member, a cousin, your sister, a friend, they might not know how you're feeling. I think when you vocalize it out loud and you say, hey, I'm feeling lonely right now, people will be quick to respond and make you feel better and make you feel reassured that you're not alone. That's another tip I have. And also just getting real about your future and cracking down and telling

yourself, this is just a season. This is just a season where I'm a little bit lonely, but it's going to pass. And in the meantime, what can I do to utilize this time properly? What could I do in the space in the in-between and the unknown where I don't really have that much going on? I don't have a lot of people around me. What can I do to use this time wisely? Some of the biggest blessings and miracles with my career have come out of being alone

because I use that time to work on myself, to heal, to better my life and to build my self-esteem, to build my confidence without needing that external validation and needing someone to always be there. It feels great because I'm so grounded in who I am more than ever, because I've been able to handle those seasons of being isolated. So if you look at it as a blessing and just a period of time, trust that there will be seasons where you will meet the right people and be surrounded by community, but use this as a growing period, use this as a growing season where you're like, okay, I might be alone, but what can I do to better myself? What could I do to work on myself?

How could I heal deeper? How can I spend this quality time with myself? Because maybe in six months from now, I'll be with the love of my life and I'll have amazing people around me again, and I won't have as much free or alone time. So I think just look at it as a blessing. How to detach from the outcome of a first date. Go into it with no expectations because you are the most powerful person in the room. You love yourself enough that regardless of the outcome, regardless of who this person is,

regardless of who you're about to sit down for dinner with or drinks with, you love yourself so much that nothing matters. You are so abundant and you're thinking in a abundant mindset. If you haven't listened to my, how to live in an abundant mindset episode,

highly recommend listening to that one. When you think from abundance, you're not thinking in desperation mode. You're not like, oh my God, this could be like my husband. This could be my soulmate. No, maybe it will be, but you don't have to put these heavy, crazy expectations on anyone else. The only person you should be focused on is yourself.

Do I like them? What are they bringing to me? What value are they bringing to the table at this dinner that we're at? Are they going to offer me more peace in my life, more stability in my life? Are they going to make me a better person long term? Or are they going to make me anxious, insecure, and feeling doubtful about my future? You have to ask yourself, are they right for me? How do I feel

when I'm with them? Don't give them the power going into a date being like, oh my god, are they going to fall in love with me? Is this going to be the love of my life? Those questions can come later. Live in the present moment, ground your energy. I also have an episode, how to ground your energy that I just recently released. Ground your energy. Be so in your body and so sure of yourself that it doesn't matter what the outcome is.

The whole point is to just enjoy yourself, have fun, and live for the experience and the moment. Don't live for the result of what this is gonna turn into. That's giving desperate. We're not doing that in 2025. We're not doing that anymore. We're not going into dates looking for our soulmate. If it happens, that's beautiful.

If it happens, amazing. Then you found the love of your life, but it's so stressful and it adds so much burden onto you and so much energetic stuckness and feeling blocked. When you go into a date expecting something from them, the only person you can control is you and your emotions and how you feel about yourself. Everything else will fall into place later on.

You don't have to think about the end result. It's a first date. It should be fun. It should be light. It should be easy. It should be effortless. You shouldn't have to go into a date feeling like you need a business plan or you need some sort of answer right away. Oh, is this it? The amount of first dates I've had with people where it was basically I could have written an office pointless. Like why the fuck did I go? I've been on quite a few and I've had interactions with men where I thought it was really good and I thought it was going somewhere and it also just like they never called me or they were just like it's not for me and or they ghosted me or whatever it is and you just got to brush it off you got to

brush it off you got to be detached you have to live in a detached mindset. Dare to detach, baby. This is why I created the masterclass so you could build your confidence, so you don't worry about the end result of things. When you go into a first date, you're not thinking of, I need to get married. No, we're not doing that. We're going into first date wanting to feel light, have fun, embrace your. Embrace the moment. Just enjoy yourself. There doesn't have to be that pressure. Ever. Especially when it's the very beginning. If you're like, into dating someone and you really have feelings for them and you still don't know where you stand, that's a different story where you could start to have those conversations with that person. But just have fun. Don't take

life so seriously. This is supposed to be your little experiment. Go into dating like an experiment. Oh, this is a fun experience. What can I learn from this? How can I learn from this interaction? Even if it's terrible, even if it's not what you expected or hoped for. I always look at first dates as,

what am I gonna get myself into tonight? What is the experience? What is the vibe? And if it's bad, if it's not what I thought, you laugh about it. Goodbye. Okay. You're not my person. The right person will show up eventually.

That was another story I could laugh about with my friends later. That's it. No need to worry. No need to stress. Okay. Does your spirituality and your connection with God impact your relationships? A hundred percent. I think I never put an emphasis on it as much when I was dating, when I was in my and your connection with God impact your relationships? 100%.

I think I never put an emphasis on it as much when I was dating, when I was in my early 20s, but now that I'm in my 30s and I know exactly what I'm looking for in a soulmate and a partner and a husband, being connected to a higher faith and believing in God is really important for me and a partner. I do want them to have a sense of faith and believe in a higher power and God. Now they don't need

to be the Pope, but like they need to have some sort of structure with their faith and understand that there is a higher power at play because otherwise I just feel like there's gonna be a huge disconnect between us. Now it's super important to me whereas before it wasn't as important, but that was before I had a sense of real self and identity with my values and my belief systems. I was always manipulated by my partners about what I should believe and what my values should be. I never had firm boundaries in place. So now that I have those boundaries and now that I know who I am more than ever,

it's given me that confidence that my person is going to be on the same wavelength and pages me when it comes to spirituality, when it comes to faith. But at the same time, I was talking to my friend about this the other day. It's so funny, but we were talking about manifestation and spirituality and like how it's so attractive when a man is naive to it a little bit where they're not like, Oh, let's go manifest under the full moon, babe. That's the biggest.

If a man wants to manifest and he's let's manifest, I'd be like, that's my job. No, absolutely not. But if he's open to it, like if he lets me be myself and in my feminine energy and in my spirituality, that's so attractive. I like when someone is different from me. I like when someone has their own life and their own belief systems in a way. It's not so much that we need to be on the same exact page with everything, but if you're open to it, that's all I need.

I just need you to be open to it and I need you to be proud of me and be like, yes, you are the most powerful manifester and I love you. I had an experience with my ex, with one of my exes, where he would mock my spirituality and he would be like, oh yeah, you and your little manifesting and all your bullshit, whatever. And it really deterred me from not only my belief system, but also the magic of my life.

I feel like he diminished that magical energy that I carry with me. And I think everything is so exciting and abundant and you could create your own reality. I feel like that was diminished a lot with a person like that. So that's a huge red flag for me now, obviously looking back, I'm like, that was crazy. I was doing this tapping work to heal past trauma from the relationship.

And he would mock that or he would mock any sort of therapy that I was doing. And it was really hard for me to heal or be myself. And that's all I ask. Like I need a partner that fully supports my spirituality and my healing process and my healing journey and that's not that much to ask for. We don't need to sing kumbaya together and go to the beach and hold hands and dance in a circle. I could do that with my girlfriends, I could do that maybe when I host these retreats with all of this community we can do that together, I host these retreats with all of this community. We can do that together.

We can have cacao ceremonies and talk about our dreams. But with my partner, I just want him to be proud of me. I just want you to be proud of me and I want you to understand the vision and the concept and you could go watch your sports and go to the office and wear a sexy business suit and just be a man. Oh my God. Okay, my ex was not there for me during a very important medical time.

I decided to break up with him, but I always clicked with his friend. Is it messed up to reach out to his friend? I feel like we had more in common. So I've actually had this experience. It wasn't with someone I was officially dating, but there was a guy that I had a thing with and it didn't work out and I met his friend and

I was super attracted to his friend and I was like I wish I met you and not this guy because now it's not working out with him But the grass is always greener on the other side I truly believe unless you think his friend is your husband and the love of your life and you really believe that with all your heart I don't think it's worth investing and getting involved with someone that is like one of his good friends. If they're super close and they are really good friends,

I don't recommend involving yourself with either of them. I recommend trusting that what's meant to be will be. If he really feels that way about you, let him reach out. If his friend is like, you know what, I have a connection with you and I don't care about my friend because I need to be with you. That's a different story, but I wouldn't be the one to initiate and try to start something up with him just because it could be very messy depending on how close they are. You don't want to mix energy with someone you dated and their friend.

It could just get really complicated. I will say I have been there as I just said, like I was in a situation like that where I was frustrated because I was like, okay, I feel like I had more in common with this guy and we could get into deep conversations. We had a lot more to talk about. And then I have this other guy over here who doesn't even like me and we ended things, what do I do? But at the end of the day, I think I said to myself, I trust that what's truly meant to be will be if that other person doesn't feel the same way.

He goes back to your ex boyfriend. I don't think it's worth the risk. That's my honest take. You could do whatever the fuck you want. I'm not the end all be all. I'm just giving you my personal advice based off of my personal experience. Trust yourself. If you're even hesitating, I think if you're even asking the question, you probably should hold

off. Really think about it before you decide to get involved with one of his friends. I think there's a lot of other fish in the sea. I think there's plenty of other opportunities you will have with dating the right person, but if it truly is meant to be, set the intention, be like, if this guy is actually my husband, he will say something to me first. He will make the first move. He'll message me because they're friends. You know what I mean? They're friends. And I don't think you would want it done to you. My rule of thumb is tied into karma too. You wouldn't want that done to you if it was the other way around. So let's just say you're friends with this girl and your ex, you guys split up

and suddenly he wants to go after your friend, your girlfriend that your friend's with. How would you feel? You know what I mean? You would feel like total shit. It wouldn't be a good feeling. So I base things off of would I want this done to me? Probably not.

It's shitty. But if it's truly meant to be, let it be. Let it flow naturally. Let it happen naturally. Don't reach out. Don't force it. That's my take. You do you, girl.

Do whatever you gotta do, but just think about it before you make that move. That's my advice. I'm in a relationship now. How do I become obsessed with myself? So he consequently becomes obsessed with me. Mind body soul reset and dare to detach combination plugging my master classes here because this is what they are all about.

They are designed to teach you how to step into your higher self. So you become obsessed with yourself. So you love yourself so much that everyone else around you flocks to you. You become a super magnet. That's what they're all about. But I will say a lot of it comes from telling yourself that you are worthy and believing it and living at a frequency where you don't need anyone,

but it's nice to have them around. You were fine before you met this person. You had a life before you met this person. You had a life before you met this person. You have to focus on the things that make you happy. When you are in a state of happiness, people are more attracted to that because you're vibrating high and people sense that. People sense energy. People know where you're at energetically and that's very attractive when you're vibrating at a high frequency. So when you start focusing on things that make you feel good and make you feel happy and abundant, and you do things that you love for you and no one else,

that's going to make you more attractive and magnetic. Let's just say you're focused on, do they love me because I'm insecure and I have all these issues and I'm depressed and I'm this and I'm that. Are they still going to love me? Am I going to lose them? Are they still going to be there? I'm scared. When you focus on those thoughts, they become bigger, they multiply and it could push people away from you because you are channeling all of this negative

energy within you and creating this vortex of insecurity and you're vibrating at insecurity. Insecurity is a really low vibe state. It's a very low vibe emotion. So people sense that and they will be repelled because they're gonna be like, I know that person needs me to survive. I know that person needs me around. I know that person is desperately clinging to me. I do believe the right person could help you through those insecurities and help you through those fears. But if you really want to change for yourself and you want to change for the better, yes it's nice to have a partner that will stand by your side and help you through it too, but when you learn how to do it on your own everything else will fall into place. So focusing on more positive thoughts, focusing on better

thoughts, focusing on something that makes you feel good, or giving yourself an experience that makes you feel good. Going on a little solo trip, taking space for yourself, because you know that you need to be in your own energy. Write down things that make you feel good. What's a thought that will make you feel better about yourself? A lot of the times I like to do quantum leap meditations because it forces you to think of your higher self

and it forces you to jump into a new reality because you're projecting your thoughts into the future. That's also part of my master classes. That's why I always talk about quantum leaping because that's how I've gotten to where I am today. That's how I've gotten out of shitty relationships. I picture my future me and what they would tell me and what they would say to me. That makes me more confident and that makes me feel better. Those thoughts make me feel better and in return it lifts my vibration and gets me to where I need to be and makes people respect me more and makes people love

me more. Every time I truly let go and every time I detach fully and entirely and I remove my energy from people and I'm like channeling all this positive energy within me, everyone starts texting me, calling me, people I haven't seen in months start appearing. I literally, I can say confidently, every single person I've dated at some point or another has reappeared because I'm really good at harnessing my power and getting back

into my body. When you master that skill, and that's why I created Dare to Detach and the Mind Body Soul Reset, you will become so powerful. So highly recommend grabbing those. Okay. I have this question. I started a podcast in December. What are some tips on how to grow it and make it successful?

Maybe I'll make a full separate series on this or a full company dedicated to how to grow a personal brand in a business. I think I've mastered how to do it. The one piece of advice I have for you, if you're trying to start a podcast or if you're trying to just start a personal brand in general is you need to be so in love with creating. You need to love creating and love to grind and work hard. You need to be driven and you need to be

in successful mindset where you're like, I'll do whatever it takes. You have to put all of your eggs in one basket when it comes to building a brand. I truly believe that. There's a lot of advice out there that's, oh, always have a backup plan. Like with me, I don't have backup plans.

This is what I'm doing. And you have to program your brain to believe that this is the only option. I will do whatever it takes, blood, sweat and tears. When I started my podcast, I was broke. I was going through my breakup. I literally had nothing to my name. I always feel like I'm rebuilding

and transforming and evolving. It could be very exhausting. I was in a place in my life where I was like really at a low point and I was like, I'll do whatever it takes to be the best in the podcast space. I'll do whatever it takes because I don't have a choice. Like I didn't have a choice.

It was either that or I go do something I didn't love to do. And I go force myself to work a nine to five that I hated. I couldn't allow myself to do that. So I did whatever I could. I put my manifestation skills to good use. I literally set the intention every day. I went into the podcast studio. I created the episodes.

I poured my heart and soul into it and it was the only option for me. I think a lot of people, they want to do things, but because other people are doing them. So you have to get real with yourself too and ask yourself, am I doing this because everyone has a podcast or am I doing this because I'm obsessed with it? You have to be obsessed with what you're building or else it's not going to manifest the way you want. It's not going to grow because everything is energy. Where you put your energy matters. If your energy is stagnant or stuck towards something, you don't

love it. You're not passionate about it. And everything else in my life, I was just talking to my friend about this yesterday too, which is so funny. All of these like things are coming up from yesterday. I realized after doing podcasting, cause I love it so much, I never loved anything else. I never was passionate about anything else. I was good at certain things, but I never felt this way about what I'm doing.

Where I was excited to create, excited to get up and do things, excited to move towards my goals with this. With everything else, it felt like a fucking chore. And I had some amazing jobs. I had some amazing career opportunities, but it wasn't my calling. It wasn't my passion.

So a lot of the times it felt like I was forcing myself to do what I had to do for those things. Obviously you have to start somewhere. Like I was a waitress, I was a hostess. I worked at an ice cream shop when I was younger. You do those things to build your skills, build your social skills, learn how to work. You learn through those experiences, but now I couldn't do those things because it would make me feel so depressed. If I'm not doing something I'm obsessed with,

I'm not going to be happy. Like I need to do something that fulfills my soul. And even if I'm making no money, the first year of the podcast, $0, didn't monetize anything, had nothing in my bank account. And I still wanted to wake up and create. That's how you know, you love something. It's not about the money. It's not about the materialistic shit that comes with it. It's literally about how inspired you are to wake up and do it

still and get excited about it. If you're not excited about it, I don't think it's your passion. That's my opinion, that's my advice. Just really be real with yourself. Write down a list of goals, a list of steps that will get you to your goal. How many streams do you want by the end of the month?

How many listeners do you want? How many followers do you want on Spotify, Apple, whatever it is, you need to get specific and clear with your targets too. That's another piece of advice. You can't just throw out an episode and expect results. Everything is strategic. Everything requires work. It requires marketing skills. It requires sharing yourself openly, being not afraid to express yourself. There's so many elements to building a successful personal brand and a podcast. And I think a lot of people just see people influencing and having, and they're

like, oh, it's easy. You just talking to a microphone. It's so much more than that. If you're looking to make it a full-time job, so much deeper than that. It's so much work. People don't know how much I work. I work a lot. I'm always filming.

I'm always in the studio. I'm always thinking of ideas. It really does consume you, but if you love it, it's a good thing. So that's my advice. I hope that was somewhat helpful. Another question was steps to heal from a breakup. I could go into this forever. Mind-body-soul focusing on healing your mind-body-soul is the key to healing from anything.

Taking active steps to care for yourself and remove the energy of whoever you're trying to get over is so crucial and so important. I believe in removing people as followers. I believe in muting people. I believe in doing everything you can to remove your energy from their field in order to heal. That's a big tip I have for you, but also go listen to reset your brain after a breakup in 72 hours episode. It's a recent tip I have for you, but also go listen to reset your brain after a breakup in 72 hours episode

It's a recent episode of mine. It has the three key steps that I use to Detach move on and heal from a breakup and I think there's a lot of value in that episode So highly recommend going to listen to that if you're looking to get over a breakup if you're looking to heal and better your life after a really hard relationship situation that ended, listen to that episode, how to reset your brain after a breakup in 72 hours. It's a game changer. It's one of my favorites I've recorded recently.

Definitely go give it a listen. Okay. How do I stop wanting a version of the man he was when I met him? He's a completely different person out all the time, drinks all the time, never communicated. I'm so fixated on this. We were dating in July, we stopped talking in March. I just wanna be better. I've gone on dates and talked to other people,

but the what if is always in the back of my mind. Girl, I've been there so bad because I'm the type of person that will see the potential in someone when they show me these little glimmers of hope, like they're this amazing person, bad because I'm the type of person that will see the potential in someone when they show me these little glimmers of hope like they're this amazing person and then all of a sudden they go the other direction and they're a messy crazy person and not what I signed up for but I'm already fixated and in love with the

version of them that they showed me in the beginning. This is such a common situation. People will show you this glamorized version of them in the beginning. They'll show you their best sides. I was just with a girl that went through a relationship like this where she was telling me he did all the right things in the beginning. He was perfect.

He was a gentleman. He whined and dined me. He flew out to see me. He was this amazing guy. And then over time that faded. Over time, he became a guy that wasn't the person he showed me over the first month or two. The first piece of advice I have for anyone who's experienced this or who is afraid to experience this is taking your time getting to know someone because a lot of people will

show you a false image of who they really are. It's like love bombing where they show you all their good sides without understanding the consequences because now you're attached and then two or three months in they show you who they really are and you're like now I'm in love with you but you don't even exist. That's so fucked up and it's happened to me various times but it's also obviously happened to this person. You have to tell yourself that it's not your fault. It's not your fault for being in love with someone that showed you this version of them because it's valid and you were trusting them and you were believing what they showed you was true in the beginning.

But if we're living in the present day and we're living in the now, it's time to honor yourself and know your worth and know your boundaries. The second someone starts showing you the negative sides of them and they're not willing to change and do the work, it's done because you're not operating at that timeline anymore. You're operating at the timeline where you know you deserve true love, authenticity, honesty, integrity, a man with good morals, someone that loves you and adores you. That's what you deserve. When you truly love yourself and you have those firm values and boundaries in

place, you're not going to get hung up on this person anymore. You have to really do your inner work to build your strength enough and to transform enough to detach and let go. It's all about rebuilding yourself and becoming unrecognizable. You love yourself enough to walk away and understand that person isn't real. That person that they showed you, it's not real. And there will be someone that is real that does love you, that does appreciate you,

that does adore you and checks every box. And you're not going to have to get hung up on the what if anymore. You're not going to be thinking in your head, Oh, what if I did this differently? What if it wasn't what I thought it was? And maybe I'm overreacting. No, the right person is not going to make you question your reality. The right person is not going to make you have a million what ifs. I truly believe that you cannot fuck up the right person and they cannot fuck up.

And if he's already fucking up and showing you who he is, it's just not worth the heartache. It's not worth throwing your energy into them. It's not worth it. It's not worth investing your beautiful energy into something of the past. Let the past be the past. God is doing a new thing for you now. There's a reason why it didn't work out.

It's a blessing in disguise. Your life could have been permanently destroyed by this person. If you got married to this person, imagine your life just being constantly on edge, anxious, destroying your self-worth, destroying your self-esteem because it's not built on trust and integrity. It's not built on good values. There's no solid foundation. So you're always going to be on edge and miserable. It could destroy your life. God sees a bigger picture. There's a higher plan that you're not seeing right now. And when you start to trust in the higher plan, that's when you're able to let go and move on.

That's when you're able to detach and be like, you know what? They weren't real. That wasn't real. If they were real and everything they showed me in the beginning was valid, we would be together right now because they would be an honest person. But they're not. It should be a turnoff to you now. You didn't stick by your word.

You're not who you said you were. Ew, that's gross. If you aren't who you say you are in the beginning, that's a really gross energy. I don't want a fraud in my life. It's literally criminal. There was a guy here that asked me out and then disappeared. Then showed up at a bar and I saw him and I was like, you're giving fraudulent. I don't tolerate that energy in my field anymore

because I love myself enough to stand on business. I repel that energy now. There's no what-ifs, there's no games, there's no questioning. If I have to question your actions or feel weird or feel like something's up, goodbye. You're ridden off, you're done. We don't tolerate that shit anymore. Respect yourself enough to know you deserve better. You have to get in that mindset, I know I deserve better and I'm gonna receive better

because I was brave enough to let this person go and let this person walk. Let them walk. It's only gonna benefit you when you truly detach and let go. You will let in the right person when you do that. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. I need to make a part two because there's literally hundreds of questions

in my DMs and I'm so excited to get to all of them. I would love to answer more of your questions, so I'm going to do a part two. I'm so excited. Thank you guys for listening so much to date yourself instead. I hope you enjoyed that. I hope it provided some value to you. If you haven't already, be sure to check out the master classes, Dare to Detach and the Mind, Body, Soul, Reset.

Remember, they're at the lowest price right now and they will not be on sale anymore for the rest of the year, so highly recommend grabbing them and getting access to them now while you can. Also be sure to rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify and share it with a friend if you're really enjoying the episodes. It really does make a difference sharing, spreading the word about date yourself instead, if you think it could help someone heal. Thank you as always.

I love you guys so much. I appreciate you. Have an amazing day and stay tuned for next Monday.