Date Yourself Instead - Babe, you are not a "MAYBE". Choose yourself and get out of waiting energy.

Episode Date: August 31, 2025

Never Be Someone's Maybe: Choose Yourself FirstIn this episode, I dive into the transformative power of fully choosing and loving yourself. I emphasize that once you make a conscious decision to prioritize yourself, everything misaligned will naturally fall away. I share personal anecdotes about my past relationships and how being someone's 'maybe' drained my self-worth and confidence. I explain that the uncertain 'maybe' energy in relationships kept me stuck and blocked me from receiving life’s blessings. By choosing myself first and stepping into my power, I was able to manifest a more abundant and fulfilling life. This episode underscores the importance of self-worth, certainty, and alignment in attracting the right people and opportunities into your life.00:00 Choosing Yourself: The Power of Self-Love00:40 The Pain of 'Maybe' Relationships02:04 Realizing Self-Worth in Relationships05:08 Breaking Free from Toxic Cycles09:27 The Journey to Self-Healing20:08 Living in the Fourth Dimension22:35 Navigating New Relationships with Self-Worth27:38 Choosing Yourself and Eliminating 'Maybe' Energy28:29 Personal Anecdote: The Equality Debate29:25 The Impact of 'Maybe' Frequency on Relationships35:41 Manifesting Through Alignment and Certainty44:00 The Power of Making Clear Decisions50:05 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

when you make a decision, a conscious choice, to choose yourself and to love yourself so wholeheartedly. Everything that is misaligned will fall away. It can't match your frequency. Your power is in knowing how amazing you are. Your power is in the clarity of knowing how fucking incredible you are. And when you're fully so confident in who you are, you're not going to even be able to allow people who aren't sure about you into your field anymore. You attract who you are. Everyone is a mirror to where you are at in your life.

Regardless if you want to hear that, that's the truth. Being someone's maybe never feels good. On today's episode, I really wanted to cover this concept of choosing yourself so fully that you're never that may be anymore to someone. Because I know how it feels to be in the waiting room with someone trying to make a decision about you. You are not a maybe. You are already chosen. Every single guy I've dated in the past gave me maybe energy. Even if we were in a relationship, just because someone commits to you and you're in a relationship

doesn't mean that you feel that security of a full body, yes. Every single guy that I was in any sort of romantic situation with, I realized gave me maybe energy. There was a maybe energy, a maybe dynamic. And what that did was it broke down my sense of self, my self-worth, and my confidence. I was dating people who were always unsure of me and being with me because of either their own insecurities, what they were dealing with in their life, or maybe for some reason it just wasn't an energetic match and they thought that I wasn't the right person for them, which is fine. At the end of the day, everyone has the right to feel the way that they feel. But I chose to

stay there. I chose to stay in those relationships. I'll never forget something one of my ex-boyfriends said to me. We were sitting at dinner and he just looked at me and he said, a maybe is a no. And at first I was like, what? What are you talking about? Because I wasn't ready to hear that kind of truth at the time. But after processing it, I realized exactly what he meant. If someone is throwing you a maybe, it's a no or a not right now nine times out of ten that's what maybe really means it means no or not right now and later in the relationship when we were discussing marriage planning a wedding ending up together years into the relationship he started throwing around the word maybe a lot maybe kept coming up a lot and it suddenly dawned on me i remembered what he had told me years prior about the word maybe and then i realized

it was never going to work because the maybe is something people say when they're not sure about you or when they want to keep you in limbo or when they're in limbo and they just don't know what to do and sometimes that's okay because there needs to be a waiting period with certain situations but for the most part what i've realized in romantic relationships the maybe has always kept me stuck in a place that i shouldn't have been it keeps you in a waiting room that you don't want to be waiting in anymore. It's the almost that keeps you stuck. It's the almost that blocks you from your biggest blessings. It's that wavering uncertainty and the middle ground that you keep yourself in that prevents you from getting to the next level of your life or from meeting the right

person. Now when someone throws a maybe at me, usually I know that it's probably not the right fit. Being someone's maybe never feels good. It just doesn't. I know how it feels to be in the waiting room with someone trying to make a decision about you. In my head now, because I've come so far in my healing journey, because I love myself and I choose myself so fully, I can't wait there anymore. If someone is having trouble deciding if they want me in their life, I can't wait there anymore. It's up to you if you want to choose yourself first and walk away because that person will

keep you waiting there. That person will keep you in that maybe energy for the rest of time, okay, because it's very easy to keep someone hanging on a string. It's very easy to keep someone kind of there. It also happens to me the other way around where I've dated someone. I didn't really feel that romantic connection with them. And then they were waiting on me to make that choice. And I had to respectfully say, this isn't going to work for me. I don't want to keep you hanging. I always think the right thing to do if you don't fully feel a yes or no about someone is to just go. with the no and say, listen, this isn't going to work for me right now. Because to keep someone

dangling on a string is really painful. It's really painful for that other person. If they really are invested in you, if they really care about you, if they really love you or have feelings for you, to keep someone hanging there and waiting in limbo, I think is more painful than just giving them a straight yes or no answer. So on today's episode, I'm going to be discussing why deciding that you're not a maybe anymore is going to be the biggest game changer for you in your life and how it's going to help you ascend to the next level of your life and make your life better and more vibrant and make you more magnetic. And I'm also going to be talking about some of my personal experiences with this and how I've learned from it, how I've grown from

it, and how I've really been able to anchor in my own energy and love myself so much that I will never tolerate being someone's maybe ever again and why you shouldn't either because you deserve better and you deserve someone who is 100, 1,000 percent sure about you. Okay. So let's talk about why being someone's maybe is extremely disempowering. It pulls you out of alignment. It pulls you out of your truth. It prevents you from accessing your highest self because if you're waiting on someone's decision about you, that means that you don't fully see your value. And it can block your power. I know for me, when I was in my last relationship, there was always this conversation thrown around of, I don't know if we're getting married. I don't know what we're doing. You have to do this

before we get married. You have to, you know, follow all these rules before I proposed to you. You have to do all of these things, X, Y, Z for me to want to be with you. I felt like I was in a really gray area all the time. And it disoriented me. It made me question my worth. And it broke down my confidence. It broke down how I really felt about myself. I always questioned my worth and my value because I wasn't being fully chosen by this other person. And I thought by doing more by proving myself, I thought by staying there and by fighting for the relationship and by proving myself and proving how amazing I am to this person and that I was capable of meeting all of their requirements that I would feel better. I thought I was going to feel better by doing all those things

in the long term. I thought it was going to pay off. I thought we were going to get married. I was like, this is it. I just have to do this one more thing. This is it. I just have to show up this certain way. This is it. I just have to change this piece of who I am. And then we'll get married and then we'll be together. But that time never came. And the reason that time never came was because I stopped choosing myself. I completely abandoned my self-worth in order to cater to this other person. And I accommodated their schedule, their time schedule. They said, by this date, I will commit to you fully if we resolve all these issues. And so he would give me timeframes and timestamps on when he would propose. He would give me a time frame on when he

would fully commit to me. And because I was so blinded by the love I had for him and by the years and years of time and energy I spent in the relationship, I continuously tried to prove myself to him. But in reality, everything was just a big fat maybe. It was just a cloudy, foggy, disorienting maybe. And when my friends would ask me, are you guys still together? Are you guys going to get engaged? Do you see yourself marrying him? It was always a huge, giant fat question mark.

Being in that energy is the worst feeling ever. Because when you come out of it and you start getting clarity again, you suddenly realize how disorienting it actually is. Because sometimes when you're in it, you're so blinded because you're so in love that you can't see how crazy it actually is. And this happens a lot in really toxic relationships and really toxic cycles where we get so wrapped up in this other person's energy that we forget to choose ourselves. and we completely abandon what we actually want. But the truth is, the more you keep immersing yourself in that energy, the further and further you get away from, number one, the right person for you that will never make you question your value and your future.

And two, the more you block your biggest blessings. It was so hard for me to manifest and get anything done in my life that was productive because I was always so wrapped up in what was going to happen in the relationship. I was in constant fight or flight mode. I abandoned everything good in my life to try to figure out this messy puzzle of what we were going to be and what our future was going to look like and if this person was my husband. And there were just so many questions that overpowered all of the really important things in my life. Like having a good relationship with my family, which dissipated. Like having solid female friendships, which also dissipated. Taking care of my mind, body, soul, which also vanished

because I had no sense of self. Thinking for myself, everything just went out the window. I even stopped working and I started losing a lot of money because I was so immersed and wrapped up in the chaos of confusion and the maybes of what it could be. All of my energy was drained because it was so focused on this concept of confusion. I don't know what we're doing. Everything's confusing. Everything's messy. Everything's all over the place.

And that is what a really, really toxic relationship will do to you and your brain. So a lot of this episode was inspired by that experience and how I don't wish that upon anyone and if you're currently going through something like that, I feel for you because I really have been there and I understand what it's like to be in limbo with someone. But I am here to tell you it is not worth it. It is not worth it. It is not worth your peace. It is not worth losing yourself for another person and it is not worth being in the maybe energy because it will deplete you and destroy every little piece of you. When you succumb to someone who is isn't sure about you. And when you tolerate someone who doesn't know what they want and they don't

know if they want to date you or they don't know how they feel about you, you're diluting your power and you're diluting how magnetic you actually are. Your power is in knowing how amazing you are. Your power is in the clarity of knowing how fucking incredible you are. And when you're fully so confident in who you are, you're not going to even be able to allow people. who aren't sure about you into your field anymore. When you're insecure and you don't have a good sense of self and I'm speaking from direct personal experience because I used to be very insecure and seek my validation from men when I was in my 20s, I would dilute my power by trying to chase after people who didn't

know what they want and make it like this game in my head where I was like, if I could just get them to change their mind about me, I win. I'm worthy. If I could just get them to see how amazing I am, I'm worthy. That means something for me. That validates how special and amazing I am and how powerful I am. But the truth is, the power is already within you. The power was always within me. I didn't need that person to see my value. I just needed to see my value and make that decision. Make that quantum conscious decision to understand how amazing I am without the need of someone else. telling that to me or showing that to me.

When you fully choose yourself, you don't need anyone to decide anything about you. You don't need that guy to date you. You don't need that person to commit to you because you've chosen yourself. And all of the wrong people will fade away naturally. When you tolerate someone's maybe and they're not sure about you and you keep hanging on and clinging on hoping that they're going to change their mind, you're actually draining your field. and your power. And nine times out of 10, all those people that I stuck around for and tried to get them to like me, all those people that I looked at for validation, all of those people fell off

the face of the earth anyway, regardless if they started chasing after me or not, because it was forced. And when someone's unclear about you, everything else in that dynamic is going to end up being unclear because you can't force someone to feel a certain way about you. The only thing you can control is how you feel about yourself. So if you spend your days trying to manipulate how someone feels about you, you're losing. You're losing your power. You're draining your energy and you're wasting your time. When you are operating at a frequency where you're tolerating maybe energy, that's your frequency. So you're going to continue. You're going to continue. to attract people who are unsure about you.

Because if you're maybe about yourself, if you feel maybe about yourself, where you're like, maybe I deserve this, maybe I deserve that, I don't know what I want, you're going to attract people that align with that frequency. If you're operating at a maybe vibration, you're going to continue to attract more people who are unsure, unavailable, or playing games with you. So the key is to be clear about who you are. and know how to choose yourself. When you know how to choose yourself, only people that are 100% all in with you will be able to show up in your field. When you're insecure and unsure about

yourself and you're operating at that maybe unsure frequency, you're going to pull in people that are not sure about you. You attract who you are. Everyone is a mirror to where you are at in your life. Regardless if you want to hear that, that's the truth. Have you ever met someone and you didn't really get along with them and you just didn't like their energy and maybe they were too intense for you. Maybe they were just too much for you to handle. And then you see someone else and they are like best friends with this person and they get along so well. And the energy dynamic is totally opposite from what you've experienced with that person. It's because you're operating at a different frequency than that other person is. Right. And then maybe those two people that get

along really well. They get along so well because they're operating at the same frequency, right? Everyone is a mirror to who you are and where you're at in life and how you feel about yourself. So with that being said, the more you are fully 100% all in with you and you're all in with yourself, you will start vibrating at a frequency that attracts people who are also all in with you and are all about you. Bottom line. I recently have embodied this new sense of self where I'm very protective of my peace, my energy. I love my self-care routine. I love my life. I've built my home from within where I just feel very grounded and secure in who I am over the last year and a half. I've done so much work on myself. I've done a lot of intentional healing work

on myself and who I am because I knew I needed to change. As I said, the only thing you can control is you and how you feel and how you heal. You can't manipulate external circumstances around you. You can't force someone to change. You can't force someone to feel a certain way about you. You cannot force someone else to choose you. What you have to do is choose yourself. Change yourself.

Look within and change your internal state. I'm going to be making a master class on this as well. very soon. I'm so excited about it because a lot of you have been asking me for more manifesting tips, all that fun stuff. Masterclass coming very soon in September. Cannot wait. But the thing is, okay, since I've done all of this work on myself and my internal state, a lot of people have dropped off the map. A lot of people have vanished from my timeline. I don't talk to a lot of the people from my past anymore. I don't live in New York anymore. People from years ago that, you know, I would keep in touch with here and there. I don't speak to any of those people anymore. A lot of people who I

had weird on and off friendship connections with disappeared and everything I knew about my old self vanished because I healed myself in a way that wouldn't allow anyone that was unsure about me or anyone that was misaligned with me to enter my field anymore. I upgraded so much that all the people from my past that weren't supposed to be there disappeared. And the new people that matched my frequency started to appear. So my life looks completely different than it did a year and a half ago. Completely different. I have new friends.

I live in a new city. I don't even remember half of the stuff that happened to me from my past because I tend to look ahead now instead of replay past memories. I feel very comfortable in my skin. I'm way more confident in the words that I speak in how I feel about myself. I'm way more confident with my goals, with my career, with my future path. I'm more trusting. I have grown a huge sense of faith. I'm more spiritual.

I'm more connected to God. There's so many things that have changed. I'm closer with my parents. I have a better relationship with my family members. So much has changed. Everything that was a maybe was stripped away because I made the decision that I would only tolerate full body yeses. I would only tolerate people in my life that could match how I feel about myself. I made that choice and that decision and I embodied that frequency and everything and everyone

else that was not aligned with me fell away. That's what will happen when you make a decision, a conscious choice to choose yourself and to love yourself so wholeheartedly and to heal so much to heal your heart and to heal your mind, body, soul. When you do all of these things, everything that is misaligned will fall away because it can't meet your frequency. It can't match your frequency. You're not going to be aligned anymore. That's what happens. So when it comes to dating, I can't date anymore the way that I used to date. I can't just meet up with some random Joe Schmo and have a coffee with him or go to dinner with someone. I can't do it because nine times out of 10, those people you meet on a dating

app or those random people that you meet out on the street, they're not going to align with where I'm vibrating at because I've done so much work on myself that we just can't match. We're just not on the same wavelength. It's hard for me to have a conversation with someone for hours and be in someone's presence and hold space for a three-hour dinner when we're not on the same timeline anymore. It's like living in two different worlds. And this is why I also started slipping in this concept of the fourth dimension on the podcast. And I had just recorded an episode with my friend Isabel. If you go to the last episode, The Power of Authenticity and Manifesting instantly, we discussed the fourth dimension a little bit in there and how in the fourth dimension,

you are healed. You're already healed. It's already done. You choose. You choose. You choose. You choose. You that you're a healed, happy version of you. You're abundant. You're successful. You're achieving all your goals. In the fourth dimension, there's no trying. There's no effort. There's no pushing. There's no maybes. Everything's already done. Everything's come to completion. And when you live in that mindset and you live in that energy state, now you have entered the fourth dimension. So when it comes to dating for me. I feel like I'm living in the fourth dimension because I'm thinking about my future. I'm thinking about divine union, soulmate energy. I can't be sitting across from some rinky dink man who is just there for like a good time just to have a chat. Everything for me has to be

intentional, right? I can't just sit here and yap away to some random guy and give him my sacred energy that I've worked so hard on to build. I've worked so hard to build this new identity for myself. I've worked so hard to enter this space where I feel so much love for myself that I won't be able to just sit and have a chat with anyone. Everything has to match my frequency or else it just can't hold. It just can't hold. It just doesn't work.

A little story time. I was in a hotel for a few nights. So I did a little staycation in London, and I met someone in the spa of the hotel I was staying at. And he was chatting me up in the hot tub. We were talking. And I was like, do you live in the fourth dimension? And he was like, oh, yeah, I live in the fourth dimension. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And we're chatting. We're chatting. It's getting a little flirty. And then the next day he took me out and he bought me flowers. And he was doing, you know, nice things. It was very sweet in the beginning, but then I quickly realized that it just wasn't the right fit at all. And he wasn't living in the fourth dimension because he was manipulating me. I'm 99.9% sure he was manipulating me in a very subtle way because he reminded me a lot of my ex.

And I started getting war flashbacks. And I was like, no, okay? We met yesterday. Why are you buying me flowers? Why are you taking me out to dinner if you don't even live here? he was leaving the next day. It just felt like he was manipulating his way into trying to sleep with me on the last night he was in London because he was going back to wherever he came from and it just never would have worked, okay? This was someone I knew I was never going to see again. What ended up

happening was we went to dinner and I started feeling physically very drained. And usually when I feel drained, that's my body's way of telling me this is not someone you should be around. Because when I'm around the right people, even if it's late, even if I've been out for a while, even if I've been drinking, whatever, I feel more energized. Whenever I leave an interaction and I feel an energy boost or an energy high, that means that person was right for me. That person, you know, could match my frequency and we could talk and talk and talk. Because with my girlfriends, when I leave a conversation, I feel great.

I feel absolutely great. There's only a couple of men in my life, and there are a few that I could think of, that have made me feel more energized leaving a conversation. All of a sudden, I got this wave of exhaustion. And I was like, oh, no, I need to go lie down. I need to go to bed. And it was obvious that he was subtly trying to, you know, just trying to come into my hotel room.

And I don't like when someone tries to pretend that they don't want to do something, but they're doing it in a manipulative sneaky way. Like, I know all the tricks in the book, okay? I know every fucking trick in the book. I've been through enough where I can pick up on subtle manipulations because there are people that know how to get what they want very easily with their words. But because I'm so seasoned in dating, I just was like, I know where this is going and it's not going in a good direction. So I've got to get to bed. I was so tired.

I was so drained and so depleted. and I know that it was because this person was not operating at my frequency. So it's just interesting because the more I ascend and work on myself and I'm around people who are also on the same wavelength as me, everyone else cannot hit. The more I immerse myself in the fourth dimension where I'm always happy. always feeling free, always honoring my truth, always being authentic, doing my healing, focusing on myself, loving myself to the fullest. The more I immerse myself in this new world and really being in my power, the harder it is

for me to be around anyone that isn't right for me. I can't even do it because my body physically won't hold the frequency. It won't let me interact with these people. I hope that's making sense. it does make sense but it's a little bit esoteric it's a little bit of a you know unique discussion it's hard to explain sometimes in the beginning because if you're still in your healing journey if you're not really sure what the fourth dimension is i'm going to be slowly trickling it into the podcast and i'm going to bring you guys with me into this new world because i want everyone to feel the

way that i've been feeling i wake up every day excited i feel in the flow i'm excited to crush my goals I'm excited to be the best version of myself every single day. I came from a place where I was in such a toxic relationship that I wanted to end my life. I just really was at the lowest point of my life ever. And to be on the other side of it now where I wake up and I see magic happening around me all the time and I see so many beautiful, synchronistic things happening all the time around me. I know that if you're listening to this right now, you are. going to get there too. I want to bring you into this new world with me where you feel that way too. When you wake up every day and you feel that excited too and you feel this amazing too. But my point is,

okay, tying it back to the whole theme of this podcast, if you're diluting your power with people's maybes, if you're diluting your power with people who aren't sure about you, if you're spending your hours and your energy and your time around people who aren't good for you, you're not going to be able to get here. So you have to wake up and make the choice. I'm done. And I'm choosing myself. And I'm not someone's maybe. I am not a maybe. I am already chosen because I choose myself. That's when you enter the 40. Anyone who makes you feel like a maybe falls off and can't resonate. You will not be able to even process the idea of someone giving you breadcrumbs in a relationship or a situation ship or whatever. Like you can't have these situationships. It just nothing can hold

because you love yourself so much. So, for example, about a year ago, I dated a guy who was like, I believe in equality and women's rights and therefore you should pay for your own drinks. And at the time, I almost couldn't register what was going on when he said that because we were out and then I paid for both of our drinks

because I was like, I'm not going to stand her on the street outside of a pub and argue with you. But that's just not how works like my husband would never say something like that to me my husband wouldn't have that ingrained in his brain that I should be paying for us like that it just doesn't that's not something I would ever register as like truth you know what I mean I was still in the maybe frequency where I was like maybe he'll change you know when you see someone's potential and you're like maybe they didn't mean it like that or maybe they were joking or maybe this maybe that

my point is when you're stuck in that maybe frequency, you're always going to just attract people like that that make you question if you're worthy of a beer. And that's something else I've realized coming into my power and choosing myself fully and ascending to a totally different frequency where I know that I deserve to be fully chosen. People like that who say things like that they're just not a part of my field anymore like they can't even come into my life in any way shape or form and even if they tried I would just repel them because it doesn't hold the frequency of those people can't hold if a man is throwing this like feminism thing in your face and saying you should pay for my drinks because everything should be equal men versus women just do yourself

a favor and run do yourself a favor and run I just think it's about the principle of it all. Okay. Listen, I want to be clear. If there was someone I was really interested in that I was seeing regularly that legitimately paid for a lot of things was a super kind, loving man and we were dating consistently, I would start to offer small gestures of appreciation. I would. Just by nature. I think that's the type of woman I am if, you know, we're going on five, six dates and then we grab an Uber. Sometimes I'll just like offer to grab the Uber or offer to get him a coffee in the morning. Not everyone will agree with this. But I think it's okay after many dates and consistently seeing a guy, even if you're not in a full-blown relationship, it's okay to give those small

gestures in return and start to chip in a little bit. But if he's pinning feminism on you after date three and expecting you to cover your stuff, I don't know. I just don't agree with that. It puts you in your masculine as a woman. And to be completely honest, because I've worked so hard in getting to a place where I'm in my feminine energy because I was in my masculine for so many years of my life. I can't. I just can't do it. So there's that. And when you live in the maybe frequency, you're more likely to accept that type of dynamic with someone because you're not fully in your power as a woman. Speaking as a woman, okay? I really believe that because I believe if you're truly in your power as a woman, you're not going to entertain people who don't really

like you who have no plans to commit to you and who still won't even pay for the dinners or pay for the drinks or whatever it is. It's only something that could happen to you if you're not fully choosing yourself. And my point is at that period of my life about two years ago, I wasn't fully choosing myself. Even though I had this podcast and even though I was working on my self-concept and I still loved myself in a lot of different ways, I still was holding the free. I still was holding the frequency of maybe this, maybe that. Maybe he'll change. Maybe he'll do better next time. Maybe he just has to learn. Maybe someone has to coach him. No, no, no, no. A woman who knows that she's chosen by herself will never tolerate language like that or will never tolerate situations like that in dating.

I said what I said. Unless if you've been together for a while or you're so deeply in love and you're starting from nothing with this person, you're building a company together or something like that. I mean, there are situations where someone has no money in the beginning. You don't want to completely write someone off just because of financial things. But it's the way someone handles things and talks to you. It's the way someone approaches things and talks to you as a woman. I think that's what bothered me the most. It was the way I was spoken to about it. It was the way it was approached. I empathize with financial situations if people are going through a hard time, a low period in their life, and they're together, and they lose it all. Like, your husband loses his business and you lose it all.

It doesn't mean you just say, you know what, I'm not doing this anymore, I'm out, okay? Marriage is for better or for worse, or when you're with someone for a long time, doesn't mean you don't abandon them just because of money issues. But if you're newly getting to know someone and they're already throwing things like that in your face, that's what I'm referring to. If you're listening to this podcast, you better not be tolerating that because, yeah, it's just, it's not a fun energy. It dampens the mood. Like when I was on that date, I remember I was like, I don't want to be here anymore. Like, I don't feel taking care of as a woman. And that's not very 4D.

When we're in the 4D, everyone's abundant. You feel good about going out with people. You're happy. You're smiling as you pay your bills. The next thing is the beauty about choosing yourself and being clear on who you are and not wavering in that maybe energy or not holding on to a relationship where someone's just giving you a maybe energy. The beauty of choosing you is that the universe knows when you choose yourself, okay? The universe knows and it rushes to give you what you want and it helps you manifest. And everything you want will come to fruition by law when you put yourself first.

And you cancel out anything that's unclear or uncertain. Florence Scobbleshin, one of my favorite authors, metaphysicians, something that she would say is when you choose yourself and you decide and you make clear decision about what you actually want, the universe has no choice but to give it to you. But you have to fully trust and surrender and be in alignment. You have to claim what you want and be 100% certain about it and trust that the universe is going to give it to you in its divine timing. If you're in the maybe frequency with someone else, that could be preventing you from achieving your dreams and unlocking the next level of your life. You could be blocking your biggest blessings if you're holding onto someone that's unsure about you. When you embody being chosen and you say I'm chosen, I'm no longer entertaining confusion. I'm only accepting what is really for me because it's my divine right.

You're stepping into a new frequency. If you're dating someone or you're entertaining someone who is making you question your divine rights, you are going to block your manifestations. Exhibit A, me, me, I'm the exhibit A. When I was in every relationship I've ever been in that was misaligned, which was every single one, and I'm just owning it because, you know, I also chose to be in those relationships. I had so much trouble manifesting, so much trouble manifesting. Like, you have no idea. Those people that you're dating that aren't good for you are knocking you out of alignment. They're knocking you out of your true self.

And therefore, you cannot manifest the same way you. would be able to manifest if you were a clear channel. You have to be a clear vessel to receive the ultimate blessings. If you're with someone that's right for you, the universe will also show you that because you will be able to manifest even better. When I was with my second boyfriend, so I've had three long-term relationships. The middle relationship, I would say, was most in alignment with my truth at the time at that period of my life. I met a man who was very expansive and abundant in his thinking. And we dated for four years. We were traveling the world together. We built a travel business together. We were working with all of the top luxury hotels and brands

together. I had the most incredible four years of my life with this man. We fought a lot, not going to sugarcoat it. We fought a lot. We did not get along on a lot of things. However, our lives were so abundant. And I was able to manifest so many things with him because we were both expansive thinkers. And we happen to be on the same trajectory in life. I believe that relationship was very carmic. It was supposed to happen so I could elevate my career and so he could elevate his. The universe was so clear about it because our lives were very magical. We had all these incredible experiences together as a couple at such a young age. And the reason my dad liked him, my dad really liked him was because he saw how successful I was around this person, even though

there were so many other issues, you know, within the romantic side of the relationship. From a divine purpose perspective, at that time, that relationship is exactly what I had needed. And the universe was very clear about it because everything I ever wanted manifested. It was easy to manifest around this person and vice versa. It was easy for him to manifest around like together. We were very powerful manifesting together. And if someone is really misaligned with you and not supposed to be in your life, the opposite is going to happen.

If you're with someone really draining for you and they're not supposed to be a part of your highest timeline, the universe is going to make that crystal fucking clear. I promise you that. You're not going to be able to manifest the proper way, the right way, the easy way around someone that's really toxic for you because it's very draining and it's very hard to be a clear channel for abundance and miracles and blessings when you're around someone that's draining your life force. That's why also I'm so protective of my energy now, because I've finally remembered my life force and how powerful I am. When you finally regain that strength and you remember that

power, you don't want to give it away. You don't want to give anyone free access to your energy anymore because now I'm manifesting. I'm attracting more. I'm creating this brand new, beautiful, abundant life for myself. And this is the first time in so many years that I'm so happy again. I finally feel like myself for the first time in so long. So to have anyone just grab access to that, I can't do it. I won't allow it. I can't allow people just to come into my field if they're not supposed to be a part of my destiny in a positive way, in a beautiful way. Another thing is, in the 4D, if you're anchoring yourself in your truth and you're so sure about yourself and you know how amazing you are, people are going to be forced to either rise to meet you where you're at or they're just not going to be a part of your life. And the real people that are supposed to be a part of your life will find you much faster.

People who are supposed to be around you, new friends, new relationships, everything. All these people that are meant for you are going to come at you so much faster. It was really scary in the beginning, walking away from all of these old relationships I had, walking away from New York City and everything in my old life. Like, it was so difficult at first to walk away from my past because I was so attached to it. And I identified myself as this girl. I grew up in Manhattan and I'm a New York girl. It felt like it was a part of my DNA.

So to walk away from my old life, it was extremely difficult to do that. I had to rewire my entire brain in order to leave New York because I had so many people around me, too, that were like, you're born and bred New Yorker. The New Yorker in you is never going to go away. And when someone and everyone and your family and friends and everything feeds you that narrative, at the the same time that you've, you know, you've built this whole brand in New York. You've grew up in New York. Everything's New York, New York, New York. I was like, how am I ever going to leave? Like, how am I ever going to reinvent myself and leave? Like, it's New York. People grow up dreaming of moving here. People would do anything to have an opportunity to visit here and live here

and be here. And I get that. And I understand how privileged I am to have grown up in such an amazing place. But at the same time, I had to take that risk to listen to what my heart really needed, even though my logical brain was like, this is stupid and you're going to go back to New York again after, you know, two weeks of moving out. You're making a huge mistake. My heart was saying try something different. And if it doesn't work out, you can always move back. New York isn't going anywhere, but try something different because you're not growing anymore and you're in pain. and you're stuck and you're not happy. So try something different.

And there was always this maybe. Like maybe I should move back. Maybe I should give it one last shot. Maybe I should try a different neighborhood. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But when I just chose a different path and I was like, this is what I'm doing. I'm going to Bali. I'm healing my heart.

I'm going to do as much as I can to rewire my brain. And then I'm moving to London. When I decided that, that's what I did. I just did it. Of course, there's this little voice in my head that said, you're an idiot. You're stupid. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? But I just decided. I just decided. And then everyone I left behind, everything I left behind was replaced with more magical, exciting experiences. Everything was replaced. I met new people. I met amazing people. amazing friends along my travels in Bali. It just felt so faded and so destined and I'm so blessed. I met such incredible people on my travels. Then I moved to London. Then I met more people here. I put myself out there. I took a leap of faith. I started networking and everything fell perfectly into alignment like a puzzle. And I didn't have to really do that much. I just trusted. I just had to

lean in and choose myself and honor my heart and honor what it was telling me, even though it was terrifying. And I just decided. And then everything just started happening and falling into place in the perfect divine timing. The issue that a lot of people I see face with big decisions like this, whether it's a move, whether it's leaving a relationship, whether it's changing careers, we waver in this, I don't know, I don't know, maybe confusing energy. And it just keeps us stuck. So one of my biggest pieces of advice, if you're currently in a life transition or you're unsure or you're with someone who doesn't know what they want and just make a decision that's your decision and go with that decision. So if that means you're in a toxic relationship, right? I was in a toxic relationship with New York.

Okay. It doesn't always have to be a person. When you're in a toxic thing or dynamic situation with someone and you're in the maybe energy and you're in this waiting energy and you're in confusing energy, make a decision. decision, I'm leaving. Bye. I'm done. Make the decision and then run towards that decision. Guns blazing. Full fire mode. There's no looking back. This is the decision. You make that decision right for you. And you don't listen to anyone else. You make that decision because that's what your heart is telling you to do. Now, listen to your heart. Don't listen to your head. Listen to your heart. Your head will tell you a million different things and go backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards and up and down and all around. And it'll keep you spinning and

circles. Get quiet, meditate, spend time alone in silence as much as you can until you hear what your heart is saying. Usually you know what your heart is saying before your head, always. Even though your head will try to convince you out of everything, my head, the amount of times it tried to convince me not to leave New York was insane. But my heart was screaming at me. Try something different. Take the risk and try something different. And this applies to relationships. Because I know a lot of you are listening because of relationships. If someone is keeping you in limbo or you're in limbo or you're not sure, maybe it's time to try something different.

And that can look very scary. But nine times out of 10, 99.9% of the time, it's worth it if you're not truly happy. or you're feeling not valued or not appreciated or not seen for how incredible and amazing you are. Sometimes just making that decision that you're going to choose yourself and walk away. Choose yourself and move out of your hometown. Choose yourself and choose a different career path. Most of the time it pays off. Most of the time it's worth it.

Being in that maybe confusing murky energy, it will always keep you stuck. So just make a decision. Usually your heart knows what decision that is, not your head. The last thing I'm going to say is when you stop playing in the maybe frequency, miracles start happening to you. Miracles start happening all around you because you've made the decision that your life is a full body yes at all times. You're not someone's maybe. You're not living in confusion. You're living in clarity.

Make that choice consciously and watch how your reality ships are. you. Watch how reality bends around you. Being certain about your goals. Being certain about what you deserve. Being certain about the person, the woman you're trying to become. When you choose certainty, the universe is going to bend in your favor and validate that frequency. As I said, everything is a frequency. We're all operating at different frequencies. So if you're operating at the I don't know, I'm not sure frequency, you're going to keep getting, I don't know, I'm not sure circumstances and events that happen all around you. If you choose the frequency of certainty and you operate at that frequency, you're going to get clear signals and miraculous signs from

the universe all around you because you're sure about who you are. You're sure about where you're going in life. You're sure that you deserve better. So choose certainty. Start living in the miracles. If you're saying to yourself over and over again, I don't know if I should switch career paths. I'm not really happy where I'm at. I'm not really happy where I'm at. I'm not really happy. Blah, blah, blah. I don't like my work environment.

I don't like my boss. I'm miserable when I wake up in the morning. You're just going to keep operating at that frequency because you're just going to keep pulling in experiences, events, and people and situations in your life that match those words and what you're saying and what you're feeling. You are going to continue to stay in that loop of uncertainty and fear and maybes and confusion and fog because that's what you keep narrating. and saying and feeling. But if you wake up with a snap of a finger, quantum, instant, and you say, this is what I'm doing, I'm making this change right now. I'm quitting my job and I'm going to this better company that I heard about that is going

to give me more opportunities. I know that it's the right decision for me. If you just make that decision, everything else is going to collapse around you and you've created a new timeline for yourself. and then miracles start forming around you. Because you've made a new decision, you've opened up a new window. You've opened up a new timeline. And when you open up that new timeline and decide and you jump to that new timeline and you

don't look back and you don't question what you've done, you start creating a brand new life and reality for yourself. Guaranteed. You become no longer available for fear, doubt, confusion. uncertainty, all of that will burn away. You jump to the new timeline and you start again. Forget the past. You're looking ahead. Forget how someone treated you. You're looking ahead. Forget how they chose someone else over you. You're looking ahead. Because you know that once you decide that you deserve better, you will get better. Once you decide that you're worthy of a more beautiful life,

you will jump timelines and access that more beautiful life. You just have to decide. And with that being said, you're not a maybe you're not someone's second choice you're not a backup plan you are a non-negotiable you are worthy of the most love the most abundance and such a beautiful amazing life i love you thank you so much as always for listening to date yourself instead it really means the world to me all the messages all the dms all the comments on spotify i read everything i appreciate you guys so much i love this community and what we're building together it's so amazing welcome to the 40 Welcome to the fourth dimensional episodes. Remember, you could always send me a message on Instagram, Atlas, or on the podcast account at Date Yourself instead.

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