Date Yourself Instead - BE YOUR OWN MUSE

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

a reminder that you don't need anyone else outside of YOURSELF to create. be your own best muse. <3 xxLYSSdownload the masterclasses here!!⁠Dare to Detach - let go of your ex⁠⁠Mind Body Soul - glow up for summer⁠⁠Manifest Overnight - manifest anything⁠ig @lysscontact: [e-mail]

Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Liss. My name is Liss Boss. I am currently recording from Bali, Indonesia, one of my favorite places in the entire planet. It is the most amazing island. I originally came to Bali after a breakup, as many people do. I feel like whenever you talk to someone who's here, the reason they originally come to Bali is for some sort of healing era of their life. For me, it was a four-year relationship I needed to heal from. And ever since my first visit here, I've made so many memories. I've met so many amazing people and I've built a life here that I love. If you're new to the podcast, welcome. I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy you found me. If you're listening from Spotify, Apple, YouTube, wherever you've discovered me, welcome to lists. We're going to be

talking about being your own muse and working on yourself so much that they're not your type anymore. If you've been in situations where you feel like you've constantly dated the same type of person that isn't giving you what you deserve, this episode is for you. If you feel like you are constantly in situations where you feel like you're not being valued the way you deserve to be valued, this episode is for you. I had a healing session with my sister-in-law who is an amazing energy healer. I had a session about being your own best muse. I'm a very creative person, okay? I'm I'm a very creative person. I've a very creative brain.

And I've always used relationships as my fuel and as my momentum and as motivation. And I've used these guys and dating situations I've been in. The same way artists, musicians, they write songs about love and their relationships. I've always used my relationships for my creations. That's where some of the best art and work comes from, right? Like you go through an experience with another person. And then it inspires you to write, to draw, to sing. to do something artistic, to transform that sad energy, that heartbroken energy into pain.

A lot of my creative outlet over the last few years has been this podcast, just sharing my dating story times, my experiences, my heartbreaks and all the lessons I've learned. It's been truly an amazing experience to share all of these things with you guys. But at the same time, there was this feeling that I had where it was like, if I don't have a man in my life, if I don't have a guy in my life, I don't have anything to talk about and I don't have anything to write about. I really didn't know what else to say. I feel like I had said everything I needed to say on the podcast. My sister-in-law and I talked about this and she was reading my energy and she was giving me this intuitive reading and she was like, I'm getting the message from your higher self that you need

to be your own muse. You need to be your own muse. Walking into this next era of your life, you have to learn how to make your life so magical, regardless of who comes in and out of it. You have to become your own best muse. And experiences and people and relationships will follow. And I was like, yeah, but you don't understand. Like, I need to be in love. Like, I need to be in love in order to write, to songwrite, to journal, to do anything. I feel like I need that high of, like, someone has come into my life and sweat me off my feet. So she was like, just try to focus on being your own muse and do what you can and maybe, you know, someone will come into your life. She said, I'm getting a download that you will have an experience very soon with someone,

but just start getting the momentum going. And I was like, okay, it was basically a clear message to me that I needed to start taking action again for myself. I couldn't wait for someone to come and rescue me and save me in order for me to start my work again. But I just felt like I was in a rut and I was like, you know what, I'm just going to do the best I can and try to post content and see what happens. Maybe it will help people, but I just don't feel like I'm in a space of my life where I'm going to be creative enough. You think about a person

like Taylor Swift. And this can apply to literally every single big pop star, big artist, right? But I'm using her because she's worldwide. Everyone knows who she is. All of her best songs and her work have come from heartbreak, have come from her relationships. That's where she's getting all of the fuel from, right? She's getting her songwriting and her experiences through her relationships and through the people she knows. And I think as an artist, it is necessary. But when you are going through a season of life where you're focused on self-love and self-empowerment and you're not seeing anyone, what do you do? Right? I put myself to the test over the last few months.

I was like, okay, I'm not seeing anyone. I'm actively choosing not to just date people for the sake of dating people because obviously my energy is sacred. I don't want to be dating just for the sake of dating. So what can I do right now where I could be my own muse and work on myself so much that all these people from my past, all these guys coming in that I used to like, that I used to think about, they're no longer irrelevant. I wanted to challenge myself to work on myself to the point where everyone I used to be attracted to was no longer part of the new timeline, the new list.

So I started creating again. I started posting content again. I started posting episodes again. For a moment, it felt like nothing was happening. And then all of a sudden, I was on a date with someone that flipped my energy upside down. And I started posting again. A couple of weeks went by. I was really zoned in on my energy.

And lo and behold, I found myself on a date with someone that ignited this like fire in me, where I was like, oh my God. I was my own muse for those few weeks and really just focused on doing what I could to create just for the sake of creating, for the sake of me, to get myself back into alignment and back into creation mode. And I ended up meeting someone who became a muse for me because I became my own muse and therefore you are what you attract. Your reality is always going to spit back out to you where you're vibrating at. And because I centered the energy back onto myself and I became my own best muse, I met someone who was the perfect muse for a song that I wrote.

Yes, I write songs. I write music and I love to sing. And it's something that I've kind of kept away, kind of kept hidden for a very long time. I am currently working on making music and it's really exciting for me. But in order sometimes to find the inspiration for things and to find the momentum for things, you have to create the momentum within yourself. Okay, and that is the biggest lesson and takeaway I learned from getting what you want, attracting new people into your life that are going to make you feel more inspired. You have to become your own best muse.

When you center your energy from within and you create purely for yourself and for your own happiness and you don't need someone to make you feel creative, when you're not constantly depending on people to fuel your creativity and you find that fire from within, it's the best feeling in the world and it starts to build your confidence. The hardest part is starting. I feel like I was in such a rut for several months and I didn't want to create and I was like, I don't know even what to say. I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what people want to hear for me. I just felt very in my shell. But the second I pushed myself and forced myself to get started after me and my sister-in-law had this intuitive reading, I could start hearing my

higher a self saying, just keep going. Just do something. Just say something. No one is you and that is your superpower. And even though you feel like sometimes you might not be having any sort of impact and you might not be offering valuable information, there is at least one person who's going to fucking care. There's at least one or two people at the bare minimum that are going to care about what you have to say because no one is you. No one can recreate your soul and your energy. Something one of my best friends had voice noted me while I was going through this process of just like not really creating and taking a break and taking time off. She was like, I've never met anyone with your type of energy before. Your list. Like, you're different. Even though you don't feel that way because it's you,

you really are different. A lot of people will want to hear what you have to say. When you're you, sometimes you lose sight of yourself. And you're like, am I cool? Like, am I doing enough? You question yourself when you're so used to yourself, if that makes sense. So for me, it was just reminding myself of my uniqueness and how special I am and my power and then taking small steps to reignite that passion and that creativity from within. Once I did that for a few weeks, my world exploded with miracles. People started coming at me. Brand started reaching out to me. People started inviting me everywhere when you become your own muse and you start doing things just for the sake of doing things and being and living. The world really does open up for you.

Opportunities will start to come at you. You'll meet people naturally dating just because you're your own best muse. I was blocking my own blessings and I was blocking the next chapter of my life because I was stuck in this like stagnant energy of like, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to put myself out there right now because I'm not dating anyone. And my sister-in-law, she was like, you don't have to date anyone. And she was tapping into my higher self. I'm hearing from your higher self that you don't need anyone right now to make you a creative person.

You are creative. You are naturally an amazing creative woman. Like you don't need someone else to fuel that fire from within you. So I listened to that advice and I applied it. And as I said, what ended up happening next was, I met someone who became a muse for my music. The last few weeks in particular has shown me the power of just making yourself the main character and not needing anyone else to do that for you.

And the power in being your own best muse is that you realize you didn't need any of those people all along to make you cool, to make you feel abundant and amazing and attractive and, you know, the best version of you, you didn't need anyone to do that. You have all that love, that power, that confidence really from. within. Your soul came here to create and to be happy and joyful and free and abundant without anyone else. You don't need anyone else to feel that way. Of course, relationships and connections are essential and fundamental, but when you are going through a season where you're not dating, you're not in a relationship, this can really apply for you because I just went through that where

I was like, I feel like because I'm alone, I'm not creative. I'm not inspired. I feel low. I don't feel like myself because I had always been used to having a guy as my muse. Having that energy reading was really important for me and it was a really big shift in my consciousness and how I approached my work, how I approached my motivation and my routine. When you suddenly realize that you don't need anyone else to make you special and creative and to make you motivated and to fuel your motivation and your drive, you get all of your energy back. You suddenly feel so energized. You have everything you need from within you. You feel like you're on a dopamine rush without any source of external validation or any guy or any text or any praise from the outside because you're like, I am a

creative being and I have so much to offer the world. When you get in this headspace and you get in this mindset, I don't need anyone else to make me feel complete. I'm fucking amazing on my own. Naturally, people will come at you, right? Naturally, doors open for you. And all of a sudden, I'm like, what was I afraid of? What if I posted a video and it wasn't good enough? People will would be like, oh, she sucks and drop off. Okay. At least I'm doing something. At least I'm moving towards something.

At least I'm creating something. At least I have a purpose and a passion and I'm moving towards something, even if it sucks. I'm doing it for me. If someone else doesn't like it, I'm doing it for me. If someone doesn't respond well to a video I post, I'm doing it for me. When you do it for you, it literally doesn't matter about anyone else. It makes you feel powerful. When you're putting yourself out there and you realize life is short, we've only got one

life to create, to be the best versions of ourselves. And there's no reason to hold yourself back or be afraid or be fearful or anxious that it's not going to be received well or that people aren't going to like it or people aren't going to comment on your stuff. This takes me back to when I first started social media and I first started my Instagram and my brand. I didn't give a fuck. You know why? Because no one was on Instagram yet. And I didn't know anyone that used Instagram that was personally close to me. So I was just posting whatever the fuck I wanted.

I was posting like fitness transformations and my routines. and I was writing all these long captions and I was just being my most authentic, weird, nerdy, silly self. Like, I didn't give a flying fuck about what I was putting out there because I was so confident in my creation and who I was as a woman.

A lot of that self-esteem dissipated temporarily because of how many people started getting on Instagram. In the beginning, it was so easy to be free and be myself because I knew no one was watching, right? and I was just like, fuck it all. I want to be a creator, period. So I went all in with it and I basked in my own creative energy. And anyone else that came into my life was a byproduct of me being in my own creative flow and flow state.

And now I feel like after so long, I finally understand what it means to be so in love with yourself and be your own muse. It's literally not giving a fuck about what people say, about other people online, what they're commenting, whatever it is. You're just always in your own energy and you're always creating for you. And if someone comes along and they're amuse and they inspire you to create for yourself even more, great. If you fall in love and that person is the love of your life and inspires you to write a book or to sing or to post more or to do whatever it is you want to do with your life, whatever it may be. If they inspire you and lift you up even more, amazing. Okay. but the whole point is start with yourself.

Be your own best muse. Be the main character before anyone comes into your life. So let's really get into how to be your own muse on a more detailed level. This is something that I've mastered because I had no choice. I, over the last few years, had to figure out how to be my own muse. And I was doing it without me really even knowing what I was doing. I will say at this point and in this stage of my life, I have mastered the art of really being okay with myself, knowing how to create on my own,

getting inspired by my own brain, my own experiences, and becoming the main character of my own life. The beauty also about becoming your own muse is that even if you're married, even if you're in a serious relationship or you're married or you're engaged, whatever, this still applies. You could still be your own muse and you should always be your own muse and have your own identity separate from someone else. What makes you special and what makes you unique is you. You never want to lose yourself in a partnership. And that's something that I had to learn the hard way. I would adapt to my partner's personality and what they were doing and their routines and their

lifestyle. And we would like mesh lifestyles to the point where it was like I was always losing pieces of myself in my past relationships. The healthiest relationships I've seen, it's about having your own life outside of your partner. And then you guys come together, obviously, and you make each other better. But having your own identity outside of someone else, being your own muse, just being you, always, having a backbone, always, and not just getting into a relationship and immersing yourself so intensely in someone else that you forget to acknowledge yourself and take care of yourself. And that is a big lesson I have learned from dating a lot is to just always have your own identity. Here are some things I've done to anchor in

myself and be my own best muse. Number one is taking myself out and having solo time to eat dinner alone, to do things on my own, and to create a safe space for my higher self. To hear her clearly, to hear her thoughts, to hear her concerns. I used to do this a lot, especially when I was living in New York, I would take myself out on solo dates all the time to just be in my own energy and to always have my own space. I'll never forget I was sitting in a restaurant in the Lower East Side and I had been single for a little bit, which I thought was like a long time. Maybe it was a few months. I was reading a book and listening to a manifestation podcast. And I think it was Abraham Hicks.

And the podcast was talking about how you have to be so in your own energy to the point where you're vibrating so high that it already. feels like someone is sitting across from you and you're like already there. Who would you be if you already had a boyfriend, right? Like, who would you be now if you already had that person with you? So I was eating and listening and I'm like, would I be thinking about having a boyfriend? No, I would be in my own energy. I would be in my own creative flow. So I started focusing on my own stuff. Like I was writing down my manifestations about money. I was like, I just want to be rich. I want to be hot. I want to be successful. I want to be healthy. That's how you got to be. Who would you be if that part of your life was already fulfilled, right? I started manifesting the best version of

myself. I was my own muse. I think it was the next day I met my next boyfriend. I ended up getting into a relationship really quickly after that experience and just being so in my own energy. I remember I was running. I was eating really healthy. I felt so alive. I was creating a lot. I had started my TikTok. I was going viral. I went from like zero to 500,000 followers in two weeks. No exaggeration. Because I was so in my own energy and my own energetic state that life was good. Life was abundant. You decide how your life is going to go. That's the name in the game. You are mapping out what makes you feel good and you're moving towards that and you're focusing on that. And you're building a life that you love regardless of what anyone else says. A lot of people also ask me,

how do you feel okay and comfortable enough to go out and sit at a bar alone? There's a few things that I do. Sometimes it's a little nerve-wracking. Like, I've also struggled with it in the beginning. But it's just about confidence. Like, you just have to feel so confident in what you're doing and, like, why you're going. I literally have gone to bars and just be like, let's see where the night takes me. As long as you're safe, as long as you're a self-aware human being.

And as a woman, just be safe and be smart, right? don't take 10 tequila shots and go out too bar by yourself. Be classy about it. Like, I'm not the classiest person, but like be classy enough about it that you are still in control and you know what you're doing and, you know, do a meditation before you go out.

Like there are so many meditations on YouTube nowadays you could type in confidence meditation or listen to my podcast before you go out. Okay, listen to this episode before you do it. Just consume something that'll make you feel a little good, get you in the mood to just go out, enjoy yourself, listen to a hot girl playlist, whatever you got to do, okay? Make a plan for yourself to go out to a place that feels somewhat familiar to you, okay,

or recommended to you. Just be safe and smart about it. Get dressed up. Take yourself out. Don't expect anything crazy. But do it for you and for the sake of just being in your own hot goddess confident energy. I've done this several times. I'm like, let's just see where the night takes us.

Let's just see. There was one specific night. I'll never forget. I mean, there's been plenty. But there was one night in particular. I met a guy who ended up, like, falling in love with. I had just got an out of a breakup and I was like, I'm just going to go out and live my best life as a single woman, newly single.

You know that feeling where you finally feel like the chains are off and you're free. I went out that night literally right after I had broken up with my ex. And I met a guy that I, like, just loved so much. And, yeah, just crazy shit. And then there's been times where I've gone out obviously and nothing happened. I still just like had fun by myself and went to bed early, had a drink, chilled out. And then I went home and went to bed, watched friends, and I was perfectly content. And then there have been other times where I've just like bumped into people that I knew and then like hung out with them for the rest of the night.

It just ended up being a really fun night out. The universe is always going to deliver as long as you're in a really confident, happy state. of mind. Don't go out when you're not feeling the vibe, okay? Go out when you're feeling it. Trust your intuition. Trust the timing. Just listen to your higher self. Do a higher self meditation. Ask her, like, should I go out tonight? Just live your best life. And if that's not for you, fine. But I found that the more confident I am going out by myself, the more good I feel about myself. I love being independent. I know that I'm an independent, confident woman and it just makes me feel more confident. So yeah. The next thing is creating some sort of style or aesthetic that excites you

and that makes you feel the most like yourself. The hottest people in the world and the room, like when you see someone, isn't always the most objectively hot person. It's someone that has their own unique style and brand and aesthetic and they just own it entirely. You could just tell when someone's so confident because they are doing what works for them visually. Personally, for me, I love having long blonde hair. I've tried dark hair. I've tried red hair. I've tried literally every color.

I have experimented before. Sometimes you've got to experiment and get it out of your system. But for me, I feel like I look the best blonde. I feel the most confident blonde. And who knows in the future, I might feel differently. I might change things up. But for me, I just love the way I look like this. Once you get your signature look visually,

you just feel really good about yourself. And I think it's really about committing to that look and just being like, this is me. This is the visual. This is the aesthetic. And another thing that I feel like is really unique to me is I always have a signature scent. Always. I am obsessed with fragrance. I'm obsessed with mixing fragrance and smells and like smelling good.

Everywhere I go, someone will be like, you smell really good. Every time I get in an Uber, the Uber driver's like, you smell really good all the time. I've created my own scent. I will literally mix an experiment with different perfumes to create my own unique smell. And when people ask me, what do you use? It's like five perfumes mixed together. And I change it up a little bit, but it's usually the same ones. I keep it to myself.

Like, sorry. I think being your own muse is also being a little bit of a gatekeeper. Like maybe I'll, you know, I'll give you guys in the comments if you really want to know what I use. But I think smell is an investment. Smelling good is a really big part of my brand and how I feel. about myself. It helps me feel really confident and feminine.

Maybe I'll make my own fragrance one day or fragrance line or collaborate with a fragrance line. I don't know, we'll see. But yeah, I think things like that, just having your signature things or the things you do that make you very unique to you is important in branding yourself and becoming your own muse.

The next thing is documenting your life like you already are famous. Document your life. Film shit. I think it makes me feel I love knowing that I have content. I have always been this way. If you're a creative person, document your life and don't be afraid to document it and fuck people who are like, oh, you're always on your phone.

Sorry, but I want the memories. I disagree. Sometimes obviously you need breaks and I take a lot of time off my phone, but there's so many hours in the day. And when you're doing cool shit, if you're going out on a solo date, take the damn pictures of yourself, okay? And be the main character of your own life. Like, I love filming stuff. I love creating things. This is a day and age where we can do that.

document literally so much and not only have the memories, but I just think it sparks creativity. Nine times out of ten, it sparks creativity and confidence. You don't have to do it to post. You don't have to do it to, you know, get external validation from anyone. It's just for you. It's just for you to feel like your life is cool, right? I'm really big on visuals and creating things that make my life feel cool and luxurious. And even when I had no money, I was still saving every fucking Pinterest image I could to visualize a life of luxury and abundance and being hot and rich. Okay. I'm going to make a separate episode on this.

Some secrets that I'm not sharing right now. The key to being hot and rich is feeling hot and rich first. Being your own muse, obviously if we're going to choose a timeline, I think if you're watching this right now, you're going to choose that timeline of being hot and rich. Okay. You're not going to choose a timeline of being poor and ugly. So let's just, you know, get honest here for a second. Even when I haven't felt like the best version of myself and I didn't feel attractive, whatever it is, because we all go through that phase, I was always looking at luxury.

And I was always absorbing the content of like hot and rich energy. I want to be on a boat in a visa. I want to be whining and dining everywhere I go. I want to be flying first class. I would tell myself these things constantly and write them down and vocalize them and speak them. I am hot and rich. I'm abundant. I am flying first class everywhere I go. I am my own best muse. You have to get there in your mind before it manifests into the 3D reality, into your world. Everything starts with imagination. Everything starts in the mind. So document your life. Love what you have now. Be grateful

for what you have now. If you're in a place right now that you don't want to be in, try to focus on the things that you do have. If you have a phone, if you have good friends, you know, start small, but think about the good in your life, get the momentum going and saying, what can I be grateful for? What can I be happy about right now? Wake up your spirit. Wake up that happiness in your spirit. Be like, what can I actually look forward to? What do I want that I don't have right now, but I can work towards? Pinterest is, I always mentioned Pinterest, but I don't know why. Maybe as I said, I'm just so visual. I just feel like it gives me so much excitement when I look at inspiration and create mood boards. And I'm like, this is the life that I want.

I make a vision board. This is also part of my manifest overnight masterclass. And my mind-body soul master class, I always say you have to create a vision board and put it as your wallpaper. Put it as your phone wallpaper and look at it the second you wake up in the morning and absorb it and study it and trust that it's yours. The next thing, something I read that Marilyn Monroe used to do and people were so seduced by her and so entranced by her because she studied herself constantly. and she actually worked so much on her self-concept. Now, this is what I've read, but it makes a lot of sense, okay? People would literally like pine after her and obsess over her in such a crazy way

because she was so good at mastering her self-concept and the image she carried out into the world. And so something I've been doing recently is talking to myself in the mirror and affirming to myself that I'm beautiful, I'm confident, I'm at the top of my career, affirming these things and building yourself concept while staring at yourself is very powerful. And it could feel really weird at first, like you're fucking crazy because you're talking to yourself. But I do believe that there is some truth to this. Just constantly looking at yourself and reaffirming best possible things you could think of about yourself. We'll rewire your subconscious mind and help your confidence. And the last thing is becoming obsessed with your

potential. Okay. I've had a habit of becoming obsessed with other people's potential. And you know where that got me? Absolutely fucking nowhere. It drained my life force because I was always looking at people's potential, especially in relationships, where I would be like, they have the potential to be an amazing photographer. Okay, there was a guy that I dated. He told me he wanted to take photos, whatever. And I was like trying to make him see how amazing he was instead of directing that energy at myself. Okay. Become obsessed with your own potential. Stop looking for the potential in other people in your relationships that aren't working out and start focusing on your potential and become so obsessed with it that you start moving towards it at lightning speed. Okay. We want to get you to a place where you're like,

I have the potential to do everything I said I was going to do and do everything I've ever wanted in this life. And I don't have time to focus on building other people up. That's not going to fly with me. I cannot do that again. I used to try to fix people and like try to make them see from my lens, from my perspective. Don't do it. It's not worth it. It's going to leak your energy. You it's going to leak your power. It is not your job to help other people reach their potential. Unless you're like specifically a life coach, spend all of your mental time and effort,

building your own life, scaling your business, finding new ways to make money, studying ways to look hotter, okay? Studying how to do your makeup differently, studying how to do your hair differently, anything that is going to fuel yourself and your confidence is good enough. And that's what really being your own muse is all about,

being in your own energy. Watch how your life, transforms. Watch how people show up for you differently. Watch how you start manifesting really fast when you master the art of you. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of Liss. Thank you so much as always for listening to the podcast. It means the world to me. Be sure to share this episode with a friend if you enjoyed it and you think someone else would too. Drop a comment on Spotify as well as rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify. Leave a thumbs up on YouTube. It means the world to me. You guys are amazing. I love you so much. Stay tuned for future episodes.