Date Yourself Instead - Decenter that toxic man now. YOU are the main character.

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

A reminder to focus on you, because you have one f*cking life to live. Stop making someone else the main focus of your orbit. You are the SUN. You deserve to be front and center in your own movie. Xoxo. JOIN THE DARE TO DETACH MASTERCLASS (DOORS OPEN DECEMBER 19TH) Use code SELFLOVE for a discount, exclusively for the podcast listeners.

I have a question for you. Why are you making someone else the main character of your movie? Your real life movie. This is your life. This is your reality. Why are you making somebody else, the center and the focus? Why are you allowing someone to be the center of your orbit? It's funny. So I went to Sedona for a healing retreat a couple of years ago with a few of my girlfriends. I went to Sedona for a healing retreat a couple of years ago with a few of my girlfriends. I went to a psychic very randomly,

and when I walked into his room, he literally said to me one thing that stood out, and I never forgot it. I'm actually, I actually have a session with him tonight. If you're interested in learning more about, you know, psychics and all that stuff, feel free to DM me. I love going to psychics, but I stopped going recently

because I also do believe that your thoughts create your reality and energy changes and shifts at all times. So you have to take these things lightly. You have to take these things with a grain of salt. Sometimes it's just fun, it's an activity to do. And when I was in Sedona, I was going through a breakup and I was like, you know what?

I'm gonna do this for fun. I'm gonna do this for me. Some form of self-care. So I walk into his room, his office. And he says, why are you making him the center of your orbit right now? He's the sun and you're circling around him endlessly like some unrelatable planet, some planet that no one even knows the name of. You're trying to make shit work with someone. He's the sun and you're a planet just circling around him and orbiting around him, making him the center of your world. Why are you doing that to yourself? That really hit me. He was a little less harsh, but I interpreted what he said that way because it was true. It was really how I felt. He just

knew right away that I was making another person the center of my universe while this person really didn't want anything to do with me at the time. After that session, I walked out feeling a new sense of empowerment because I realized that I had been centering this individual in my life for so long and it was taking away from my strength, from my power, from my energy, and it was causing me to spiral. It was causing me to take away from my own self-love and value, and I almost started to hate myself. And that's really, it's a pretty intense thing to say, but I really did feel like I was at one of the lowest points of my life because I was constantly

letting my energy be consumed by someone else and I completely took the focus off of myself. The key to having really successful relationships in your life is to actually de-center everyone else and to make yourself the priority. You need to make yourself the focus. You deserve that. You deserve to be the main character of your own life. You are the main character of your own story. No one else is. You have one life to live, your life is short, your life is valuable and precious, and if you're going to revolve your energy around someone else, and you're going to cater to their needs and follow them around like a puppy dog, obviously that's your call, that's your decision to decide. But why would you want to live your life essentially being controlled energetically by another person? Before I really dive into today's episode, which is going to be such a meaningful and powerful one,

I want to mention that the Dare to Detach Master class is welcoming all new members right now and it's an especially amazing class to take over the holiday season to level up to upgrade for 2024 to really detach and let go of anyone or anything that is no longer serving your growth so you can move into the new year feeling empowered Feeling like the best version of you and feeling fucking unstoppable. We have such an amazing private community We have this awesome group chat where all of us give each other advice and support each other through our healing process. I'm actually retaking my own masterclass this holiday season. Even I need the same reminders when it comes to leveling up and detaching. I'm a lover, I love hard, and sometimes I get attached to people even still.

Even with the podcast, even with everything I've learned, I get attached pretty quickly and I'm a lover and I'm planning on retaking my own masterclass this season so I can work with you guys and level up with you guys in order to attract bigger and better things into my life and to manifest greater abundance. This year coming up 2024 is all about you creating new abundance, attracting the right people and circumstances into your life and it all stems from within. You have the power to change your reality and your thoughts and create your future, and this course is designed to reprogram your mind and help you attract the best of the best. The link to the masterclass is linked in the show notes, and on Instagram at Dare to

Detach or at Dare yourself instead, you can find all of the information there. And remember to use the code self-love for $20 off. Don't miss out on the discount. Use code self-love for $20 off. And let's get back to that episode. Decentering someone isn't about diminishing the value of your relationships. It's about repositioning them in your personal story, in your narrative, okay? We're going to talk about why shifting your focus from seeking validation or fulfillment from a person that you're dating to finding it within yourself can be such a freeing and liberating and amazing experience. Decentering a person is about refocusing the energy you

invest in your romantic relationships back into yourself. Now, if someone is fully committed to you and fully invested in you and giving the same energy you're giving, great, that's amazing and that's a healthy relationship. However, if you're chasing after someone, if you're constantly throwing your energy at them and they're running away from you or you're not sure where you stand and you feel like you're getting depleted and taking away from your own life and the meaning of your own life, that's what this episode is about. Okay. Someone should not be the center of your world if you're not the center of theirs.

Why is this shift important? Why is the shift of taking your energy off of someone and putting it back into yourself so significant? For many women in particular, I feel like societal narratives have often emphasized the importance of relationships and needing to be with someone and needing to be married and needing to find your soulmate and Prince Charming. For example, when we've watched Disney movies growing up, or even any really movie or TV show now, the whole narrative is typically written as a woman, faunting and pining over a man

and looking for Prince Charming and looking for a husband and looking desperately to find a relationship so she does not end up alone with her cats. Even though that sounds pretty nice, it's often centered around this narrative of, oh my god, if we end up alone, we're not valuable, if we end up alone we're not worthy. And it can really subconsciously program us to believe that we need someone and we need to be constantly looking and throwing our energy at people in order to be happy and in order to feel some sort of value within ourselves. This has been ingrained in us since childhood, and while there's nothing wrong with wanting true love and wanting to find someone, there has to be a balance. Otherwise you can get easily swept up in a situation where you actually lose yourself

and who you truly are. And this is so common and this happens all the time. And this has happened to me on so many various occasions where I would go after someone and dilute my own power. I talk a lot about this also in the stop diluting your power for a man episode. If you haven't listened to that, I definitely recommend that episode after this where you're in this motivated state where you're happy and you're free and you're really working on yourself. And then someone comes along and

fucks it all up because you suddenly take all of your energy that you were placing into yourself and you're throwing it at someone else. So then you have no room to love yourself. You have no room to focus on yourself anymore because they become the center of your orbit. This approach to shifting your energy from this person and back into yourself is going to be so beneficial to you. And here's why. Not only is it going to give you your value back

and make you feel more independent and empowered and boost your confidence, but it leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. And the chances of you losing yourself in a romantic relationship are slim to none now, because you've learned how to master the art of really focusing on yourself and making everyone less of a priority. Now, as I said, if you're in a really healthy balance relationship, where you're each giving and taking the same, and it's in a good flow and you're both happy and you're still able to focus on yourself. That's the best of both worlds.

But a lot of people in my DMs messaging me DMing me on Instagram telling me, you know, this guy cheated on me and I can't stop thinking about him and I want to give him a second chance. That's probably not the best situation. You should be focusing on you and not the situation that they put you through. Now obviously, I also know it's easier said than done because I've been heartbroken before, I've been betrayed before, I've been cheated on before, I understand where you're coming from because when it's happening in real time and you're emotional and your emotions are

running high, obviously it's going to be difficult to completely detach and pull yourself out of it. So I always tell people, the first step completely detach and pull yourself out of it. So I always tell people the first step is healing and crying it out and feeling what you feel and feeling the emotions. That's valid, that's normal, it's human to be emotional and feel. But after a certain point you're going to want to recenter your energy and you're going to want to put the focus back on yourself so you can build yourself up again, build your confidence up again, step into your power again, and really detach and move on so you can find someone that would never betray you or hurt you the way that person did. When you make someone such a big focus and you center them as the biggest priority in your life and they take the place of you as the focus, you not only lose your power, but you drain every aspect of yourself, it can affect literally everything else in your life.

It's like a domino effect. This has also happened to me with people I didn't even see a future with. I was recently talking to my best friend about how we both love so hard, we love really deeply, and we're both very emotional and sensitive. So when we meet someone new that might peak our interest even if they don't have soulmate potential, we still get easily consumed with all of these thoughts of getting excited. Oh my god, I want to see where this goes. I'm waiting for their texts. Are they going to ask me for plans this weekend? And we put this person on such a fucking pedestal and we let them shine over

our entire brain. And we let them take over our day-to-day thoughts. And suddenly, over time, our shine starts to dim. And our shine starts to fade. We become less and less of a priority to ourselves, and we start to make that person the priority. We allow this person and the thought of being with them. Whether it's a crush, whether it's a situation ship, or whether you know you're really early on in the dating process with someone, you start thinking about them obsessively in a way that takes you off of your own stage and

places them on your stage. So suddenly they're the main character and not you. For example, you're on stage getting an award praised for how amazing you are, and then when this person comes into your life, they're taking your award away. They're taking your spot on stage and they're taking the place of you. And that is not the energy we're trying to have in the new year or ever. Okay. So, de-centering this person or de-centering someone that is not someone super important in your life currently is the motto. Okay, if it's your husband and your happily in love and married and you're still listening to date yourself instead, thank you. I love you. I know some people are in happy relationships that listen. So maybe this isn't super applicable to you, but maybe it is because

you can lose yourself even if you're in a marriage or in a serious relationship. Sometimes we forget who we are, even when we're happily married. Decentering them is the model of 2024, because when you put someone as the center of your orbit, you become the background character. And then what happens? You're gonna regret it. You're gonna reap the consequences of feeling maybe insecure, unworthy, and undeserving of all that life has to offer, because your constant attention and focus is on someone who typically nine times out of 10 is not worth it. Now, if it's your child, the human being

that you birthed life to, okay? That is the perfect opportunity to make someone the center of your world. That energy will be saved for your children. Make your children the center of your world, that's understandable, they need you, okay? They depend on you, you're their mother. But you can't be doing this for a man that you're not even dating. Especially if you're not even officially together, okay?

I hear so many stories and I get so many DMs and I just mentioned this earlier, but there's so many people who are willing to fricking chop off their arm for a guy who isn't even texting them back. You're literally chasing down someone who would never do the same for you. You're chasing down someone who is essentially gonna be irrelevant in your life six months from now. And I'm not trying to call you out and make you feel shitty about it.

I'm just spitting the truth. And I'm trying to be harsh because I wanna get it through your head that you should be the center of your own life and how imperative it is. If someone's pushing off plans to see you, if someone's cheated on you, if someone's cheated on you, if someone's lied to you about seeing other people early on in the relationship, if someone is not

seeing your worth and you know it, why are you so focused on them? Why are you so fixated on this idea of them when they're not feeling the same about you? It should be such a turn-off that they're not prioritizing you the same way you're prioritizing them. Why would you want to make someone the center of your orbit when they aren't willing to make you the center of theirs? Relationships are a two-way street and if they're not, one person gets hurt. And I was listening to this podcast, I think it was Nick Vial, I think that's how you say it, and Christine Cavalieri, I hope I said their names right, but I was listening to her podcast and he was on it, and he was

talking about situationships. In this episode, he said that there are two people in a situation ship. There's one person that's trying to make it work and the other one that isn't. And that really hit me because I've thought about all the past times where I was in this, like, in-between dynamic with a partner and I didn't know where we stood and I was like, are we gonna date? Are we not gonna date? And it was always me trying to figure it out. It was always me making them the center of my focus

where I was like, what do they want? What do they want? Instead of asking myself, what do I want? What's gonna make me happy? What's gonna make me feel good? I was always more concerned about what they were thinking about me. When you should be focused on, how do I feel about them?

Are they making me feel good? Are they making me feel confident? Are they making me feel empowered every day when I wake up? Am I sure about us? Because they're making me feel that way? Or am I lost, confused, anxious, feeling like crap because they're making me feel that way or am I lost, confused, anxious, feeling like crap because they're inconsistent and not putting in the effort to actually build

a relationship. And it's, it was always the latter. It was always this idea of I wasn't ever getting enough, but I was doing the most. And that's not the energy we're carrying into 2024, okay? Don't make someone the center of your world when they're not making you the center of theirs. I know when I'm single, I'm the best fucking version of me. I'm dating myself.

I'm taking myself out. I take myself to dinner sometimes. I'll listen to good podcasts. I'll read, I'll journal, I'm at peace, I'll meditate. I thrive when I'm in my element and in the flow of life because I have so much time to focus on myself I love dating myself because I could just do me and I feel so unstoppable because all my energy is Directed towards me and when all of your energy is directed inwards towards you

You become so fucking powerful and magnetic when you're so laser focused on making yourself the priority That's when you start to attract the greatest things into your life, and that's typically when you find someone because you're so focused on you, and you're so grounded in your frame and your body. But then what happens? You meet someone that might not be the ideal person for you, and because you're so focused on yourself,

you're gonna be attracting a lot of people, and some of them might not be the right people for you. You might attract a lot of, you know, not so great quality men, because everyone from your past, whether it's recent or from a while back, people sense that you're doing well. People feel energetically that you're doing so good and they're gonna wanna be around you.

So I'm gonna tell you a little story time. I met this guy at the peak of my thriving era. I was going to the gym every day, I was in a routine, I felt so confident and so good. And he was so attractive. I was extremely attracted to him and into him. And we dated for a few months, but over time, I became so focused on making it work long term

with him because I was basically obsessing over this idea of us being together, and I threw all of myself loving confidence out the fucking window and into the garbage. Suddenly I went from this confident, secure, empowered woman to a needy, clingy person who needed to seek all the answers, and I was like, what are we doing? What are we? Are we getting to a relationship? And I not only put so much pressure on the dynamic, but I also drove myself insane and descended myself completely to the point where I didn't even love myself anymore. I suddenly made this person the priority. When, by the way, he was definitely not doing the same for me. He was still doing his thing going out with his boys, not answering my texts sometimes, and I was just chasing after this idea of wanting to be with him, waiting for him to text me and get back to me.

And he was doing his own thing. He was still the center of his own world, but I made him the center of mine, and I wasn't the center of my own world. Looking back, I'm like, damn, I should have been doing that too. I should have been doing what he was doing. And eventually got to the point where it was very unhealthy. He became the center of my world because for example, he would pull so far away from me at times and then I would just fixate on it. I'd be like, why isn't he texting me? Why isn't he calling me?

Why isn't he doing X, Y, and Z? Why isn't he making plans to go on a date with me this weekend? And then I would find out things like, oh, he went on vacation. He didn't even tell me about it. Or he went out with his boys, and he blew off a date with me twice.

He did this. And I still made him the center of my world. And I was a bit younger at the time and more naive. And I kept tolerating this dynamic. It was partially my doing because I had made him the main character of my movie. And then when it ended, I was completely crushed and I felt like I had no one or nothing and no sense of self because I lost it in this dynamic.

There was also a guy I remember I would go to Hot Yoga classes, okay? It was my thing for a while. I get really into specific workout routines and for a few months I got really into specific workout routines. And for a few months, I got really into hot yoga. This guy that I was seeing casually kept asking me to go to the yoga class. He was like, I've always wanted to do hot yoga, and I think it would be really fun to do it together. And the thing is, hot yoga at the time was my thing.

It was a part of my routine. It was a part of my ritual. And it was a form of my self-care to get away from everything and anyone and to be completely honest, it was something I didn't want anyone to be a part of, especially a guy that I wasn't even exclusively dating. He kept bringing it up and I was like pushing it off in my head because I really wanted it to just be for me. But eventually, as we got a little closer and we started hanging out more, I caved. We finally did a hot yoga class together and for me, it was honestly kind of awkward because

it's just vulnerable, especially when you're sweating. You're not really that close, so you don't really know, you know, if you do something, if you fuck up a position, you feel like insecure. I don't know. I was kind of panicking the whole class when he was next to me. I'm like, oh my god. Is he watching me, whatever. And I wasn't in my element during the class.

I remember I was just like, this isn't enjoyable because I'm next to someone who I'm in some sort of weird situation ship dynamic with. I don't know why I even agreed to this. And I was beating myself up mentally over it because we weren't officially dating and here I am inviting him to a class that I take religiously. We do the hot yoga class I let my boundary down of wanting this class just for me and then of course we eventually break things off and

It just left such a bad taste in my mouth and I literally never went back to the class again and that is why I literally never went back to the class again. And that is why I always say, keep something solely for yourself. That is how you date yourself when you have a schedule that's just about you. That's separate from a significant other, especially if you are not even dating. But it also does apply to people who are in committed relationships as well, because I still think it's important to have your own things. Put your needs first. Keep things just for you and only you because you don't want to fuck things up for yourself.

If you have this solid self-care routine and you start including some random Joe Shmo into your workout routine and then he ruins the whole flow because you end things and then you're like, well, now every time I go into this class, I'm just gonna think about you and how you were doing Downward Dog next to me. And that is not something I wanna fucking visualize, so I'm out. So, before I get into the next topic, which is the importance of really dating yourself,

I wanna mention that my master class, Dare to Detach, is live, I know I said it at the beginning of this episode, but I stand by this and I want to give you guys another reminder. I want you to learn how to make yourself the priority. You get four days of videos instructed by me, detailed workshops that focus on rewiring your subconscious mind to up level, reading materials, writing exercises and meditations that I do personally, and so much more that's going to help you upgrade your entire life, especially moving into 2024. It's the perfect time to start. The private group chat is my favorite

part of all. We're all in there rooting for each other and helping each other heal. It's so empowering and incredible to be a part of it. One of my recent favorite reviews from the class is this course changed my life. I was crying two weeks ago over a guy who gave me the bare minimum and now I'm on my way to Mexico on a solo trip and I took myself to dinner last night. I am so thankful for you and this course. Another really positive amazing review. I retook this class again just because it was that good and I swear I've manifested so many things in the last few days. My situation chip just asked me on a proper date and I got a brand deal for way more money than expected. Incredible. Okay, this class is life changing. It's all good vibes in here and I am so proud of

everyone in the community so far. We would love for you to join us. Remember to use the code self-love for $20 off the course at checkout. I love you and now back to the episode. So what is the importance of really dating yourself? Let's talk about the concept of truly what it means to date yourself. Dating yourself is the ultimate practice of self love and self care that is often overlooked when we are investing our energy into other people. Dating yourself means treating yourself with the same respect and kindness and love that you would expect from someone else. When you truly love yourself, people feel that.

People know how you feel about you. People feel how you feel about you. So, if you're going into the dating game, feeling anxious and needy and desperate, people are gonna run away from you. People are going to feel your desperate energy. No one wants to be with someone who's desperately trying to get into a relationship.

It repels. When you're chasing, when you're constantly looking and seeking, and you're looking for external validation outside of yourself, you repel people. You repel the relationship from coming because you're not centering yourself. You've de-centered yourself and you're focusing on everything else other than yourself, and that is not how you attract bigger and better things into your life. The way you attract miracles and blessings and soulmate love and relationships into your life is when you are the center of your own life. And I

want to clarify that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship or wanting a partner. And of course, if you've listened to my podcast, you know I'm looking for my husband right now You know I want to be married someday. Obviously having a partner in your life is so special You know, life is so beautiful with the right person But if you're completely losing yourself in relationships where you don't know who you are anymore You're compromising your values and your needs breaking down your boundaries in order to make something work And you're disrespecting yourself by tolerating shitty behavior. That's when there's an issue.

It's not about being in a relationship because if it's a healthy one, it could be the most beautiful thing in the world. But if you're in a toxic one, it could have the total opposite effect. Dating yourself is prioritizing yourself, regardless if you're in a relationship or not. Dating yourself allows you to explore who you really are. It allows you to get to know yourself on such a deep level. It's a powerful tool for self-discovery. It allows you to explore your interests, really take time with yourself to know your boundaries and know your values

and what you stand for, what it is that you like, what it is that you don't, what you're going to tolerate in your future relationships and what you're not. Remember, and I'm going to make a separate episode on this because it's so powerful, but I always have to remind myself of this fact, everyone is your mirror. So if you come from a place of neediness and insecurity and sadness because you're alone, you could easily enter relationships where that other person is your mirror and therefore going to treat you the way you feel about yourself, which is like shit. I know this because when I've gotten into relationships out of insecurity and desperation,

that person always treated me like I was literal garbage. And I allowed them to walk all over me because I was vulnerable and I didn't want to be alone and I was like, well, maybe it'll get better, maybe they'll start changing, maybe they'll improve their behavior. Fuck that. Okay, we're going into 2024 with the energy of, this is my boundary, this is where I stand, these are my values, this is how I feel about myself. I know I deserve the utmost respect, I know I deserve true love and I deserve to be appreciated.

And I'm not going to settle for anything less. One of my favorite powerful mental exercises, especially when I, you know, take people off of the pedestal that they were on and I have a lone time and I'm single and I'm in my element like I am right now. Something I do to attract better situations into my life is to envision my future. Visualization is everything. Your brain is so powerful and when you continuously visualize how you want your future to be, it will manifest, but you have to truly and fundamentally believe that that's what is going to happen for you. And I know I bring my master class up, but that's literally what the whole master class is about. It's about shifting your thinking and the way you think and operate

and how your brain operates in order to create a new and better future for yourself. It is so important and I could not emphasize this enough. Go to bed every single night and visualize how you want your future to be and sleep on it. Let your brain rewire, sleep on it, meditate on it, visualize it. If you're visualizing the worst case scenarios all the time, that will also manifest. Now, it's not going to happen if you, you know, have one bad thought and a negative thought

creeps into your head. It's normal. We have millions of thoughts going through our head every single day. Just be aware of where you're placing your attention and where your thoughts are going and how your thoughts are removing because it's so crucial. If you want to create a better life for yourself, if you want to create your dream future, you have to reprogram your thoughts to think positively and to think in a healing way where you're sending other people love as well and you're not hating on other people and you're talking badly of others, and you're not shitting on other people's character. Everything stems from within.

Now, I also want you to ask yourself this question. Would you date you? Would you actually date yourself? Would you actually want to sit down with yourself at dinner and flirt with you? But for real, for real. Are you so in love with yourself that you would fall in love with yourself if you were dating you? Do you know what I mean? You really have to get real with yourself here. Would you date yourself? Would you want to marry yourself? And when I did this exercise, I was journaling about this the other morning. And I was kind of getting a little sad because I realized that there were still so many things I didn't love about myself.

There were some things that I still wanted to work on. And that's okay. And that's what the whole point of doing these exercises is about. Anything is changeable. Energy changes and transforms all the time. And that's why I always say doing the inner self work and taking care of your mind is so important. Because once you undo these patterns that you might have sitting in your brain for years, once you undo all these negative thought patterns, your life will get so

much fucking better. And you become the center of your life. And you won't make other people the focus anymore because you're going to fall so in love with working on yourself and taking care of yourself. So when I asked myself this question, would I date myself? There were some things that came up that were pretty questionable, including my own fear of commitment to marriage. I've always had this block around it, and I talked about this in one of my recent podcast episodes. I have to go back. I think it was the time to upgrade an up-level episode that I posted recently, where I said I actually had to work on the fact that I do have a suppressed fear of getting permanently tied down to someone for the rest of my life because it's a mixture

of things. It's a mixture of my own traumas that make me scared of that, but it's also the fact that I love my freedom and independence. And I just haven't met the right person yet. So it makes me question this idea of marriage. And if it's like an institutional thing that like, you know, people created and it's like, all these legal documents, you know what I mean? Like a lot of things are just societal structures. And I always think about that. Like, oh, is marriage really what we're supposed to be doing? Or was it just created by society for specific reasons and like governmental purposes and financial things and I just have a lot of questions. So just kind of unpacking that with

myself and being like, what is my biggest fear around it? What can I do to change this? How can I take necessary steps to clear out this fear and this block so I could look at marriage from a really healthy perspective? There were some other things that are pretty vulnerable that maybe I'll discuss later on on a future episode if I'm ready to, but there were just some other things that I don't necessarily like about myself that I know I need to change. That's the beauty of journaling. That's the beauty of really sitting with yourself, endating yourself, and working on yourself so you could show up as a better partner eventually for someone else. And there's nothing wrong with that.

There's no shame in unpacking things that you might not like about yourself in order to improve. Because how are you supposed to fix anything and up level and change who you are if you don't address it? Allocate time for your own self reflection. This is such a beautiful way to really center yourself and ground yourself in your own frame. Journaling meditation, spend some time in nature. I love whenever I can, because I live in New York.

It's pretty hard to find access to a beach, but when I go back to Long Island, I'm gonna go to the beach, even though it's freezing fucking cold right now. I don't care. I love being by the ocean. I love being by the water, by the sand. Just being by nature is so healing. It's such a healing experience and it can really ground you. Use your alone time to constantly check in with yourself. Ask yourself meaningful questions. Be cognizant of what you're feeding your brain also.

Don't listen to sob stories about how this man betrayed this woman and how this woman betrayed this man betrayed this woman and how this woman betrayed this man, stop consuming these toxic tic-tocs that are all over your free page of people getting cheated on and hurt and betrayed and backstab and lied to you in relationships suck and it's so hard to find someone it's so hard to meet people. It's toxic. It will program your brain in a negative way. If you're constantly consuming negative things that are going to make you feel worse about your situation, it will create a domino effect and things will get progressively worse because you're constantly

in a rabbit hole of sad shit. And that's why I try to stay off my phone as much as I possibly can, especially when I'm in a healing phase of my life. I don't consume. I don't consume, and if I do consume, it's positive uplifting content, self-help content, self-help books, and things that I know are gonna make me feel better about myself. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. De-center them, center you, focus on you, you are the main character of your own life.

I love you, I hope this was beneficial. If you love this episode, be sure to rate it on Apple and Spotify. Send me a DM on Instagram at list or at date yourself and set and always be sure to check out the masterclass Dare to Detach. It's amazing. Go get it. You're gonna up level this year. I'm so proud of you and stay tuned for next Monday. tuned for next Monday.