Date Yourself Instead - How to become obsessed with yourself

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

This episode is about reconnecting with yourself so deeply that you stop chasing validation, attention, and people who were never aligned in the first place. I talk about the importance of s understanding your values, passions, habits, goals, and what genuinely makes you happy so you can create a life that feels authentic instead of performative.I also talk about cutting off draining energy, setting stronger boundaries, and why some people don’t deserve access to the new version of you. Plus: creating a more cinematic life, romanticizing your everyday moments, forgiving your past self, choosing emotionally available people, and building real confidence through self-trust and keeping promises to yourself.The more connected you become to yourself, the less you settle for crumbs.LOTS OF LOVE xxLyss

So how do you become obsessed with yourself and so in love with yourself that you literally wake up and you want to just hug yourself and you're like, I'm so lucky to be me? You have to get intimate with who you are. You have to study who you are. The same way you would study your crush and be like, what do they like? Where are they from? How many sisters do they have? You have to study you and make you the priority and not make anyone else the priority for now. Okay.

And obviously if you want to get into a relationship and you want to get to know someone amazing, but you want to go. get to know yourself the best first. That's how you attract the right people into your life, because once you become so intimate with who you are and really understand your brain and how it works, then you'll start aligning yourself with the right people. It'll just happen naturally. When was the last time you actually studied yourself and got to know yourself at a very intimate level? Do you truly know what makes you happy? What you're looking for? What excites you, what lights you up, where you want to live, where you want to work, who you want to be, how much money you want to make. You have to get so honest with yourself and really ask yourself these

detailed questions and be so certain about these questions. You have to know who you are. When someone asks you who you are, you have to feel so confident in your aura and in your energy that you're like, I am this. I am Liss, right? I am Liss. I have a podcast. I love to help people heal and grow and expand their consciousness. I love to make people feel powerful and know their worth. I love to write. I love to sing. I love to perform. I love to create. I'm a woman of creation. I love to travel. I can't wait to be married and have a family one day. I love learning about different cultures. I love trying different foods. I love spicy food. I love dogs. I love animals. I used to horseback ride. I love singing. I love pop music. I love songwriting. I used to sing

opera for many years of my life. I just have so many different facets about me, right? And I know that I want certain things because I've studied myself. I've studied my passions. I've studied what I like, what I don't like, who I like, who I don't like, where I want to go, my next five-year game plan. I had a lot on my plate and a lot to do and a lot to accomplish and figure out, but I have a direction. I know where the fuck I'm going. I know what I want out of my life. I know I want to build a beautiful, adventurous, creative, amazing, abundant life with the love of my life. Okay, that's the goal. That's the dream, at least for me. So get clear on what you want. Write it down. Journal about it. Think about it. Obsess over it. Replay it in your mind. Make a

vision board, journal, speak it, speak it into existence. Tell yourself what you want. Ask yourself these questions and really get clear. Get that clarity on who you are and who you're destined to become. It is so important in getting to know every single piece of yourself and what you want and what's going to make you happy and what doesn't make you so happy. What makes your spirit feel alive and come to life? What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning?

What fuels you? What foods light you up and make you feel healthy and strong and good? What workouts make you feel good, okay? You don't have to do Pilates just because everyone does Pilates. You don't have to run just because everyone runs. Find what works for you. Do what works for you. Forge your own path.

Make your own lane. Create something new. Build something different. Be original. Be authentic to you. As I'm approaching 33 as well, I'm like, what really makes me fucking feel like the best version of myself

and makes me feel truly authentic to who I am? That's really important, you know? Like, feeling like you're really comfortable in your own skin and you're not filtering yourself and you're not faking shit. I don't like feeling like I'm faking an identity or personality and like projecting it out because sometimes we tend to do that out of fear and I've done it before and it's not easy to do it. It's actually harder to fake a personality and fake who you are

than to just be yourself. So be real with yourself, what dreams are aligned with you or what dreams feel forced? Get clear on that. And also just remember you can't build a life you're obsessed with if you don't know the person you're building it for. If you don't know yourself, you're not going to be able to build towards anything because you're just going to be confused and always like all over the place.

The next thing is stop letting people dictate your life story and where you're meant to go. If people need to be cut off, cut them off and don't be afraid to do so because honestly, no one has time to be drained and pulled down by people who don't see your worth, see your value, don't appreciate you. We don't need any of that. It's old baggage. It's stuck energy. It drags us down and it really is such a pain in the ass to deal with people who don't value us.

Like honestly, I am so past the point of entertaining people who I know aren't right for me. I physically feel ill when I entertain people that aren't aligned with me because they're not supposed to be a part of my timeline. They don't deserve access to the new me. They don't see my value. There's been a few guys here and there coming in and out, trying to message me, trying to talk to me, have a conversation. and I'm like, no, flick, no, flick. Boundaries are up. Guards are in place.

Doors are closed. I'm moving into the new year with a vengeance, as I said. I'm kind. I'm a good person. I have empathy. I know my worth, but I have firm fucking boundaries in place. The right people will make it. They'll make it over the wall.

They'll be able to jump over the wall. There was someone who kept going and kept pushing and kept trying. That was an ex of mine. And I was like, I don't want. want to eat out of the trash. I don't want to eat out of the trash. I don't want to go backwards. I can't allow myself seeing how far I've come, seeing how much I've been through and how much I've invested in getting myself back to a fairly normal place. I just can't. And the more you build yourself and you build your life and fall in love with yourself, you literally will

not be able to carry people from your past with you into the future. It will not be physically or mentally or spiritually possible. There's also going to be a lot of people in your life who only want access to you when they see you doing well. There's going to be some people that are like jealous of you too. Okay? Either way, you've got to let all those people go. Clear the old timelines, the old stories, people from the past, characters from the past, they are not supposed to come with you into the next chapter of your life.

You cannot become obsessed with yourself if you're entertaining old baggage, people who don't see your worth. It's not possible because you're communicating two different frequencies to the universe. You're saying, I'm obsessed with myself, but I'm tolerating bullshit. It doesn't work, doesn't go hand in hand. Detach from the emotionally available people that aren't giving you what you need. Detach from the friends who don't want to see you win and you know who those people are, okay? Detach from the exes that keep resurfacing because you know a zebra does not change as fucking stripes, as my dad always says,

a zebra does not change their stripes and neither is your ex who keeps circling back. They're not going to change their stripes. They're not going to change for you, okay? If they do 10 ayahuasca retreats and explode their entire higher spiritual self and choose to evolve on a soul deconstructive level and really, really change their full-blown identity for themselves and then come back, that's great. That's a different story. But usually, you know the answer. You can't keep reading the same book and expect a different ending, 99% of the time. Be so obsessed with yourself that you keep telling yourself, I deserve better,

and that's a non-negotiable for me. The next thing is you need to create a life that you're excited to wake up to. You can't be obsessed with yourself if you're bored. If you're bored and you have a boring life, you can't be obsessed with yourself and your life because you're bored. And when you're bored, your life feels dull and gray. And like, there's nothing to look forward to. There's nothing exciting to wake up to. So how do you make your life more exciting?

As I said, you have to ask yourself these questions and move towards what excites you. There has to be a hobby, a passion, and interests of yours that makes you happy. Even if it's something small, it could also be something new that you've never tried before. I've been getting into fiction books. I used to read fiction when I was much younger, when I was much younger, when I was as a kid and I stopped. I used to read a lot as a child and I stopped. And recently as I've been here and like really just thinking

about all of these things, reflecting, evolving as a woman, going into the new year, I'm like, what makes me excited? I've been really getting into fiction and I'm gonna start a book club because I think it would be really fun and I think the community here would love it. Also I'm writing a book so I'm writing a book that's also part fiction and that's a surprise.

I don't know if I should tease that yet. You gotta find new things that let you up. Spice up your fucking life. Make your life feel cool. Go on Pinterest and look at inspiration. That's what I do. I go on my phone, go on Pinterest and look at cool pictures, aesthetic vibes, travel photos, cool nails, cool hair, cool outfits, cool places to go.

And I'm like, I want this. I want that. I literally screenshot and save everything as my inspiration. And it makes me feel good with a cup of coffee in the morning. Pinterest makes me feel good, okay? I've been reading fiction, as I just said, makes me feel good, makes me happy. Self-obsession comes from building a life that feels cinematic and delicious and free and fun and exciting. So what can you do to make your life feel delicious?

Like you just want to always take pictures of the things around you. You want to write about it. You want to create because life feels so fucking cool. Get inspired. I went to Copenhagen last month and it was such a cool city. I fell in love with it. I did a little solo trip and I was just upset. with my routine there, having a coffee, having a croissant, going for morning runs, exploring the city,

going to different thrift shops, trying on different outfits, doing my makeup differently. I started wearing like dark, smoky eyeliner. Never ever do that. Maybe I'll start up again in 2026, changing my makeup a little bit. But like, I was just doing such new things that were breaking my brain out of its comfort. I was just doing such different, cool things. There was this one moment where I went for a run and I I was chilling by the water and everyone was swimming and it was freezing, but it was really sunny outside, but it was so cold. And I'm just chilling there, like minding my business. People are jumping in the water, unbothered.

Everyone was so happy and smiley there. And I was just like, it's just the small things and the small moments and these experiences that make my life feel like a movie. I was all alone and yet I felt so alive. I felt so aligned and alive. I was listening to this like fun Copenhagen playlist on Spotify. and I was walking around, eating my croissants, basking in the Copenhagen life,

just like really taking it all in. And it was so amazing. It was just so beautiful and so cool, and I really want to go back. But like something I really learned from that experience was you can make your life feel like a movie, even if you're by yourself and you don't have anyone around you. You're the main fucking character.

Put in your headphones. Put in some cool fucking music. Walk around your city and pretend you're the main character. It helps your brain. It gets you out of your funk. It gets you out of your identity. It gets you out of your intrusive thoughts. Trust me, do it.

I also feel like when I do things that are out of my personality type, because I'm pretty introverted, actually. I don't know. Maybe a few of you have met me in person. Something I've really been doing is trying to get out of my comfort zone and be confident enough to smile and say hello to strangers and just complimenting strangers and getting out of my own head in my own way and being like, hey, I love your outfit.

love your jewelry. I love your necklace. Oh my gosh. I love this place. It's so fun. You just say something to spark a conversation and build human connection. And even if you're interacting with one stranger a day, you could totally change their day. You can make their day. You could make them feel better about themselves. So like why not? Just be kind. Be nice. Smile at people and make them feel loved and you will feel good about it. You'll feel good about it. It makes you feel really connected. That's something that I've worked on a lot going out of my way to be kinder to people, even though I'm and sometimes I just like to conserve my energy and not be bothered and like be in my own space. I am more aware of how I could actually make someone's day just by giving them a compliment.

I think it's a really nice thing and it'll also lift your mood and lift your energy as well, which in turn makes you more obsessed with yourself because you feel like you're doing nice things. And when you do nice things, you just feel good. The next thing is forgiving yourself for any of your past mistakes. Okay, we're not going into the new year bashing ourselves for our past selves and our trauma and our breakups and the relationships we stayed into for too long or the moments where we didn't honor ourselves and we didn't know our worth, there's no point in replaying the past. The past is the past for a reason. Okay. So we're going into this year really, really strong and

set on knowing that it's a fresh slate. It's a clean start. We get a new timeline to work with. When you're self-obsessed, you cannot be ashamed of who you once were. You just can't. You have to love every single part of yourself. Scars and all. Okay. Mistakes. and all, accidents and all. You're human. You've been through a lot. You've dealt with a lot. You're not perfect. No one's perfect. Humans are not perfect. We're all flawed as much as you can see someone else's life online and you think they're perfect. They're not. I promise you. They're not. Everyone has made mistakes. Everyone has suffered loss, grief, betrayal, depression, heartache, okay? We're human fucking beings. So there's no point in beating yourself up over what you've been

through. Accept it with grace. Forgive yourself and give yourself this year to start over and to love yourself and become so obsessed with who you are and understand that we've all been through things and that's okay. It doesn't make you any less of a person. It doesn't make you a bad person if you've you know fucked up or you've done something that you're not proud of or you tolerated bad behavior from someone. It happens. Okay. If I dwelled on every single thing that I tolerated from my past and I was always like, why did I do that? I wasted my time. I wasted my youth. I wasted my 20s. I can't believe I stayed in those relationships. I can't believe that I used to, you know, starve myself when I was younger because I had self-body image issues, which, you know,

was true when I was in high school. I had this like control thing with eating. There's so many different things that we go through, so many different chapters of our life. If you keep replaying those things, it's literally just poisoning yourself. It's literally just poisoning yourself. There's no point. And the crazy thing is, is your brain does not know the difference between a thought and what's currently actually happening. So you could be thinking about a memory and it's activating the same part of the brain that lights up as if it's happening in real time. So you're basically choosing to relive an experience every time you think about it. And why the fuck would you do that to yourself when you could think about something amazing to experience and look forward to? Because the same thing

will happen if you keep visualizing success, abundance, a new timeline, a new identity, a new future, future goals, future dreams, future soulmate. If you start visualizing those things, that's going to show up. That's going to light up your brain in a totally different way. And that's how you become obsessed with yourself, creating the new timeline with your thoughts. Your old self was doing the best she could or he could. And that's a given, okay? You did the best you could with the tools that you had.

But now it's time to rise, forgive yourself, accept the past, and move the fuck on. We're going into the new year, moving on. The next thing is stop putting yourself around people that are never going to have the emotional capacity to handle you or understand you. Okay. Sometimes you're not asking for too much. You're just asking the wrong person. I read this quote on TikTok and I posted a video about it. The people weren't really understanding it. I think it's pretty crystal clear and I loved it. The TikTok said if you go into a McDonald's and ask for a glass of wine and pasta, they're not going to serve you. Not because they don't want to, but because you're asking in the wrong place.

You're asking for fancy five-star Michelin food in the wrong place. And the same applies with dating in relationships and people in your life. You're expecting people that are giving the bare minimum and that don't have the emotional capacity to love you the right way. You're expecting the most from them when they literally don't have the capacity to give it to you.

They don't have it in them to provide the way you need them to provide. Sometimes with work, you're in the wrong room. And sometimes with relationships, you're just with the wrong people. You're just asking too much from the people who are never supposed to be a part of your life in the first place. So don't beat yourself up over this.

Women come to be a, a lot saying, I feel like I'm too much. I'm too emotional. I'm too sensitive. My boyfriend tells me that I'm asking for too much. If I ask them for flowers, if I ask them to take me on more dates, etc., etc. You get the point. No, babe, you're just with the wrong person because the right person would be like, of course. Yeah, of course. Obviously, I'll buy you flowers. Obviously, I'll take care of you. You're not even going to have to ask because they're just going to understand your love language and who you are. You're often just asking people who lack emotional maturity and depth. You're asking the wrong people because if you're watching this right now,

you're probably someone who has a lot of depth and emotional maturity. And you're a growth-oriented person. And a lot of people are not going to be able to meet you where you're at. And instead of getting upset over that and letting it drain you and drain how much you love yourself, accept it for what it is and be like, you know what? You're just not my person. This just isn't my situation. This isn't where I need to be working right now.

Whatever situation this can apply to for you, okay? stop handing your heart over to people who are not equipped to hold it and handle it properly. And when you choose yourself and you realize it was never about you and you become so obsessed with yourself again, when you become so obsessed with yourself again after leaving and walking away and having the courage to do so, you realize it was never about you. You were just in the wrong place. You were just with the wrong person. And you start to feel so much better because you're like, oh my God, I didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't do anything wrong. We just weren't compatible or this just wasn't right for me. It wasn't aligned. and that's okay. And then you make peace with that and you can move on. And the last thing is you become obsessed with yourself based on how reliable you are to yourself. When you make promises to yourself, are you keeping them?

When you start committing to certain goals, certain plans, certain things, certain routines, are you fully committed or do you back out? Do you flake? This is something that I had to learn too because I had a problem with being flaky with people, not because it was intentional, but because my brain is very scattered. And sometimes I would commit to things very early. and then later I would change my mind because I would have to like work or I would have

something else to do and I would be like, oh, fuck, I committed to that and I forgot, blah, blah, okay? It was never intentional or malicious. It was just how my brain was working. And I realized it was actually making me feel less worthy because whenever I would let someone down or cancel a plan or not show up properly after I committed, it would chip away at how I felt about myself because I felt like I was letting people down. Really what it was was a reflection of how I really was showing up for me and how reliable I was

for me. because there were other things in my life that I wasn't doing. I would say I would go for runs, then I wouldn't, then I'd back out. I'd say I'd create a business plan for something. Then I wouldn't do it. I'd say I'd sign a contract at this day and then I would put it off for two weeks. I wasn't fully committing to myself, my goals, my dreams, and my future vision. I was really being flaky with me.

And then it was reflecting in my outer world. And what I learned is that the more dependable you become as a person for yourself and the more you can rely on yourself and your own word, the more confident you are and the more obsessed with yourself you'll become because you will be able to trust yourself the most. You'll be able to really trust yourself and keep your own word. And that makes you feel very grounded in who you are. When you can look at yourself as a reliable person, that feels good.

That builds confidence. That builds self-trust. So be the one that doesn't flake out. Be the one that keeps their word. Be the one that keeps their promises to themselves. Okay. Now this doesn't mean commit to people that aren't worthy of you and drain your energy. Okay.

You have to choose the right people in your life, make the right decisions. Be responsible with that, of course. where you're allocating your time and your energy. But for the most part, this is about committing to yourself the most, doing the most for you. If you say you're going to start running in the morning, you start running in the morning. If you say you're going to eat healthier, you're eating healthier. If you're saying you're going to start a new project, you're going to start that project. When you can truly trust yourself, everything around you changes.

Your energy changes, the people around you respect you more. You start respecting yourself more. You start showing up better for every other person in your life. Your standards change. Your dating life changes. everything changes when you become reliable. Self-trust manifests into being obsessed with yourself. And remember, when you're obsessed with yourself,

the universe is a mirror. The universe will start acting like it's obsessed with you too. You're radiating a new frequency that says, I finally know who the fuck I am, I know my worth, you emit such a powerful frequency that communicates to the universe. I finally know who I am and know what I stand for. And I will never abandon myself again.

And with that being said, That concludes today's episode of Liszt. Thank you so much, as always, for listening to the podcast. If you love this episode, be sure to comment on Spotify. Give it a thumbs up on YouTube as well. Subscribe to the channel. DM me on Instagram, Atlas, L-Y-S-S, as well as send this podcast episode to a friend if it resonated. I love you guys.

I appreciate you. Thank you as always and stay tuned for future episodes.