Date Yourself Instead - How to de-center a man and DETACH - you are a GODDESS.

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

If you're seeing this right now, it's for a reason. I spent most of my life putting relationships and men as the center of my universe, my world, and bending over backwards to make things work out with a person...only to leave myself drained and feeling discarded. In this episode, I dive into why you should de-center a man and detach, and how it truly makes you the most powerful person in the room. Bali is a VIBE. ;) JOIN MY MASTERCLASS MIND BODY SOUL RESET AND DARE TO DETACH Doors open November 9th, 2024. I love you, I appreciate you. -Lyss

Do not become the woman of anyone's dreams. Become the woman of your dreams. Become the person you've always wanted to be for you. It is time to show up for you and your higher self. Who does that higher self want you to be? That is the only person you should be trying to impress. You should never be bending over backwards to try to impress someone else, to try to please a man, to try to make a man the center of your world in order to get him to love you or to validate you or to be with you and to date you and commit to you. You should never have to go out of your way so feverishly and so intensely with all of your energy and all of your heart and soul in order to get someone to want to be with you, or in order to get someone to see your value or your worth, that is no way to live.

Giving your energy and attention and precious love and everything you have to offer in your heart and soul to a man that is giving you the absolute bare fucking minimum. Being here in Bali has taught me so many valuable life lessons and when it comes to relationships the most important thing I've taken away so far is nurturing the relationship with you and your higher self. Knowing who you want to be and how you want to show up every single day and working towards that version of you. Decentre the men. Decentre the people that you have made so fucking important.

The most important person in this lifetime to you should be you. Nurturing you in your soul. Nurturing you and your higher self and where you want to go and where you want to be in a week from now, a month from now, and a year from now It is time to prioritize you you are the center of your own reality. You are the center of your own world Fuck everyone else Stop putting other people before yourself Stop putting a dusty man who has never seen your value or your worth

Above your own needs and desires and above your future goals. Are you letting this person distract you from your mission on earth? Are you allowing this person to take advantage of your kindness and your warm loving heart and everything that you have to offer and provide? You are an angel. You are someone who deserves the best of the best. And if you are paying attention to people That do not see your value and that do not want to be with you and do not want to fully commit to you and go All in with you. Why are you wasting your precious energy and time? Being here in Bali has also taught me that your energy is sacred. You are sacred. What you have to offer

is a blessing. It's divine. It's a gift. When you are giving your energy and time to other people, that is a gift that you are giving them. So if you're giving your time and energy to someone who does not appreciate it, you are wasting your power. You are literally handing over something so valuable and irreplaceable. Time is very valuable. Your energy is very valuable. You don't get these things back. You don't get your time back. So why are you giving your time to someone that doesn't want to be with you? That doesn't appreciate your time Time cannot be replaced Every second every minute every hour

you've spent working yourself up over someone who has no desire to fully go all in with you and be with you and love you and cherish you the way that you would love them is time wasted and and cherish you the way that you would love them is time wasted. And being here and learning how to be more present and learning how to be more grounded and really connecting with my soul and really understanding what it means to truly live has taught me the importance of time. You want to give your time to the people that love you that will show up for you the same that you will show up for them that see you as a goddess the goddess that you are the Empress that you are put yourself on the throne stop putting other people on a throne stop giving your heart and your soul which is

literally irreplaceable and doesn't even have a price tag on it because it's so fucking valuable and precious stop giving these gems away to people that won't even text you back that won't even give you the time of fucking day why are you living in a lack mindset there are so many people out there in this world waiting for you to appreciate you, to embrace you, to love you, but you have to shut the door on the people who don't see your value in order to access the people that will. You have to understand that once you let go of people that don't see your worth

you will open up a brand new timeline and access those people who do see your worth and who do see your value. Don't be afraid to let go. What are you really gaining out of a relationship where you're giving so much more all the time? What are you really benefiting? How are you really benefiting? What is that giving you? Being here in Bali, I know I keep saying that but I'm just so appreciative. Like I am the most grateful I've ever been in my life because being here has taught me so many things that I know are going to be so valuable for the rest of my life. This is such a magical island. It's such a magical environment, a magical place. And don't get me wrong, it hasn't been perfect. The first week I got here, I got violently sick. There's this thing called Bollie Bellie. I got very sick and I was

like ready to pack up my bags and leave. And after the illness and after going through it and I was like definitely in a days for a couple days I could not function I realized that in order to really test myself and push myself I had to be willing to walk through the fire and commit to the process of healing and commit to the process of truly being here and committing to what I said I would do, which is come here and learn things. Come here and learn more about myself. Come here and learn more about the power of what it means to really put myself first and date myself and live by my words and live by my truth because to be completely honest, I

was preaching all of these things on the podcast and I was saying, date yourself instead and you know, you deserve the best and you're unstoppable and I'm really good at giving advice, but sometimes it's harder to take your own advice. And I was faced with myself being here and going through a really crazy year of just dealing with a narcissistic ex, dealing with narcissistic abuse, not valuing myself properly, not putting myself first in many situations. I realized I really needed to face myself this year.

I needed to face myself and it wasn't easy to look myself in the mirror and say, you really need to change. You need to be the one to really date yourself now. You need to live by your truth. You're not living 1000% authentically as you build this brand and as you help others heal. You're going to fall apart. You're not going to be able to carry on.

You're not going to be able to get to the next level of your life and your career if you're not living 1000,000% authentically. Of course, I was doing the best I could, and we're always doing the best we can, and I'm human, and I'm not perfect. But after the last situation I went through with someone that didn't appreciate me and didn't see my value

and deceived me, I realized that I wasn't fully healed or living my truth. I was still struggling with relationships. After giving all this advice, here I am still struggling with the same issues I was struggling with years ago. And I really had to be real with myself and say, you need to step up and be the warrior that you are and take control of your life again.

You are never going to get to the next level if you keep repeating the same toxic cycles and patterns and falling for the same bullshit with men and centering men instead of yourself. I really needed to be honest with myself and at my core, I was still thinking about men. I was still looking for, you know, maybe a connection with someone. I was still kind of looking subconsciously, like I wasn't actively desperate or anything like that, but I was still putting men at the forefront of what I wanted. Like, oh, I want a relationship eventually. I want to connect with men.

I want to have attention and seek attention. I was trying to seek this weird validation still. Even though I told myself I wasn't, there was this subconscious thing that I would do where I would still kind of look for the validation in the forms of like who watched my story, who was liking my post, who was messaging me. And being here has taught me more than ever to de-center everything. It doesn't even have to be men, but to de-center the people in your life that do not give the same that you would give. They're irrelevant. If someone isn't willing to give you their

time and love and energy the way that you would for them? They're irrelevant now. We are decentering people that do not see our worth and that do not appreciate our time or our value. Why are you putting these people on a grand fucking golden pedestal? You are the prize. You should be on the pedestal. You are the empress.

You are the Empress. You are the goddess You deserve so much more than someone who is flaky inconsistent or confused about you When you are so grounded and confident in yourself, you become unstoppable you become a human supermagnet and Now I'm living it and I'll tell you what happened. I stopped putting any attention on men, on wanting to be validated, on wanting to be loved or appreciated by someone else. I stopped giving a fuck. I stopped caring. I literally said, I'm done. This is it. I've broken the cycle. Completely. Now that I'm here, I'm done, this is it. I've broken the cycle completely.

Now that I'm here, I've broken the cycle. I'm never going back to that old me that would need a man to make me feel good. I'm not on any dating apps. I'm not texting anyone. This is my year to focus on me, to work on myself, to channel all my power and my energy and put it into myself.

And it shows I'm glowing differently. I have higher energy levels. I'm literally happier, so much happier. My emotions are more balanced. I'm smiling more. I'm laughing more. I'm building female friendships with the most amazing, loving people here. And my life has just drastically gotten better ever since I stopped prioritizing someone else to validate me or to love me or to care about me. Because what the fuck? I can love myself better than anyone else can. I can value myself better than anyone else can.

I see my value, so I don't need you to see my value. I see my worth and my value so I do not need you to see my worth and my value because I can love myself so fucking deeply that I don't need your love anymore. I don't need that attention or that approval or that validation because I have it all within me and you have it all within you. So at the end of the day, if someone left you, if someone broke up with you, if someone left you in the dust and left you behind, you don't need them. You have all the love that they weren't even really giving you anyway within you.

You have everything you need within you. You have all the love and approval and validation you need within you. Your soul and your future self and your heart is so powerful and so incredible. Your future self is rooting you on at all times. If you close your eyes for a second and just picture your higher self and who that person really is, a fucking warrior, a superhuman, an upgraded version of you, they are cheering you on. And when you work towards that future self a little bit more every single day, you will realize that you have everything you fucking need within you. You don't need anyone else's approval. You don't need anyone else's love. Now, of course, it's important to have human connection. It's important to have friends.

It's important to have community. I do believe that isolation and, you know, cutting people off and doing your own thing all the time is not the answer either. You need to have a healthy balance. Okay. If you have one good friend or one good person in your life or two good people in your life, you don't need in your life. You don't need an entourage. You don't need 1,000 friends. You don't need a huge amount of people. But if you just have one or two people that are supporting you, cheering you on, and loving you, that's all you really need.

That's all you ever really need, because you have yourself. And you are a magnetic being. Whether you see it right now or not, you really are. You are energy. You are divine. If you're watching this right now, I know that you're an amazing person with an amazing heart and you want to be better every single day, because if you're listening to this podcast, that's what the podcast is all about growing and healing and evolving and improving.

I know if you're here right now, you want to be better. And that's a beautiful magnetic thing. You have a force within you that's waiting to be unleashed. But you may have people in your life right now that are just holding you back. And that means they're not good for you anyway. You're not losing anything or missing out on anything or anyone. If they're not appreciating you, what are you missing out on? What are you really missing out on if someone doesn't see your value and they've walked away from you? You don't want someone like that in your life.

Why would you want someone that doesn't see your worth and how fucking incredible you are to be a part of your frequency and your timeline? You are so special. And if someone can't value that and see that, that should be the biggest fucking turn off. That should be your turn off. That should be your reason to never go back, to never look back. Stop trying to manifest your ex back when they treated you like garbage. Stop trying to chase after a man when he's not responding to you or not reciprocating your love and energy. Stop trying so hard. You should never have to try so hard to be happy with the right person. You'll just be happy. You'll just be yourself. You'll just be a better version of you.

It'll be easy. It'll be right. It'll fall into place. Everything will make sense. If you're with the right person, it will feel like all of the puzzle pieces have clicked together. They are your missing puzzle piece and it just clicks together and everything just flows and feels good and you become the best

version of you. If you are drained, always sick, tired, fatigued, depressed, anxious, or worried and you feel all over the place and you feel like a fucking mess because of someone else. That's not your person. That's not the right relationship. God wants you to be happy. God is putting you on the right path and readjusting your path. If you're going through a breakup right now, if you're going through a difficult transitional period of your life, he's putting you on the right path so you can make your life better and improve your life and get to the next level of your life.

Why are you so caught up in the bullshit of people and situations and things that are toxic for you? Why are you self-sabotaging? Believe and trust in a better future for yourself. Have faith in a better future for yourself. Believe and trust in a better future for yourself. Have faith in a better future for yourself. Hold your standards so high that you know you deserve better at your core and you're never going to settle for less. Stop settling for losers. Stop settling for shitty relationships and shitty situations.

Don't limit yourself. Stop living in lack. Stop living in a lack mindset. Come at life with an abundant mindset. I deserve more. I deserve better. I am unstoppable. I deserve everything I want out of life.

I deserve my dream relationship. I am receiving miracles and blessings at all times. I am the best. Why shouldn't you feel like the best? You are the main character of your life. You are the main character of your reality. Stop making a man that you've known for three months, the center and the main character of your movie,

of your reality. Stop making a relationship that isn't working the center of your reality. You can build a relationship with yourself. If something has ended and you're like, why the fuck did this end? I thought this was my husband. I thought this was the love of my life. I don't know how I'm going to survive. If you're going through the midst of it, be real with yourself for a second. Yes, I understand. Loss is hard. Grief is a real thing. And everyone deserves to process their emotions and feel in order to heal. And I do believe you do have to go through your emotions because it's healthy and it's human and it's normal. But at what point are you going to wake up and realize that

you deserve more? Why would you ever settle for something that isn't aligned with your higher self? Don't you want to get to the next level of your life? Don't you want to be around people that literally look at you as the empress and the goddess that you are? Why wouldn't you deserve better? If you're unhappy, if you're genuinely unhappy, or you were unhappy with someone, or they really were not treating you right? Why wouldn't you deserve more ask yourself that because you know you do

your soul knows you do and that's why you're being put through these trials and tests because you need to heal the part of you that doesn't think that you deserve it because you do I can tell you right now being in a very narcissistic abusive relationship, if you haven't listened to that episode, I highly recommend it. If you've been through it, if you are going through it, I was very blinded. You don't even realize that you're in a narcissistic abusive relationship until you're so far removed from it. And that's the scariest part. I went through a four-year relationship on and off with a man who promised me the world that we were gonna get married one day, that he always saw a

future with me, that I was the love of his life, that he would never do anything to hurt me, that every other man that I've been with was a horrible person but he was always the best boyfriend and always you know this amazing guy that was always gonna treat me right and the only reason we couldn't be together was because of religion. Looking back there were so many red flags that I was so blinded to. I was so fucking naive and I swept everything under the rug all the time and it was just one of those relationships where now where I'm looking back I realized how messed up it was. But when I was in it, I was so blinded. I was so blinded because all I saw was how much I loved him.

All I saw were all of the positives because that's just who I am. I was in that relationship with such a pure, naive heart, just being like, I love him. He's saying he loves me. He's saying he would do anything for me. He's doing all of these things for me on the surface. He's saying he loves me. He's saying he would do anything for me. He's doing all of these things for me on the surface. He would travel to see me. He would go out of his way to help me with work things. He was always doing the right thing, but at the core center of the relationship, it was

broken. There was no foundation because he kept saying, I can't fully be with you. I can't propose yet because I need to figure out things with my life. I need to figure out things with my work. I need to figure out things with my religion. And it always ended up being another excuse. And then later I found out that he was lying about literally everything.

Lying about everything. He had completely deceived me in every aspect of our relationship and I kept going back until I found out everything. I would just listen to his lies and I would believe them and I kept going back. I kept settling. I kept going back to the same cycle and pattern and relationship. And anytime he would come back and say, you know, I've made a mistake. I need to be with you. I need to see you. I need to come to you. I need to fly to you. I was like, okay, I know he loves me. Okay, let's try this again.

I was hoping for a different outcome every single time. And looking back, I'm like, what the fuck was I doing? I want to shake my old self and be like, what were you thinking? What were you thinking? You are an angel. You are a divine being. You wasted so many years.

I'm not going to say I wasted so many years, but I, in a way, just feel like I gave so much of my attention and energy and time and love to the wrong person for so many years. And I wasn't appreciated, I wasn't valued, I was taken advantage of, I was severely manipulated. And I didn't see my own value. I was so blinded that I was giving all of my power and my energy and my love away to a man that was just so deceptive.

And it was this crazy time in my life where I had to learn those lessons, of course, because otherwise I wouldn't be here today telling the story, helping people and guiding people. And I'm so grateful I went through it because I know I can handle it. I know I can handle anything and I am so blessed that I'm able to provide my wisdom and do what I have to do to be on a podcast and share my stories. However, if I could go back in time and give myself that version of me and that relationship advice, I would literally be like, pack your bags. Literally pack your fucking bags.

When I was living with him, get all your shit, take everything you have and get the fuck out. Literally get out, run as far as you can and never look back and it's gonna hurt, it's gonna really fucking hurt and it's gonna be the hardest thing you've ever had to do. But if you know your soul is telling you something's off, believe it. Your soul knows. Your logical mind will try to rationalize things, will try to convince yourself out of things. You could literally do that for years. I did. My soul knew something was wrong.

But my brain would say, oh, he's telling me he loves me. He's doing all these things for me. He's going out of his way for me. He's kind to me. Our intimacy is amazing. But there was always a but. There was always a but. There was always a but there was always a but there was always this but Something feels off and I did not tap into it enough. I ignored it because I was scared to see the truth I was afraid to face the truth, which was This isn't what I think it is. I Deserve more. I deserve better. I was afraid to face this idea of I do deserve better and I need to leave. And looking back after going through all of this and going through four years of up and down abuse, I know now that I will never ever ever ever settle again or prioritize someone that I know isn't on the same page as me in general in life in any relationship

in any work environment in any friendship any connection I have if you don't provide the same love that I provide, you're irrelevant. Goodbye, I don't care. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you say on the surface. I don't care what you're telling me to my face. If I feel energetically that you were not supposed to be in my life because you're not giving the same way I would give, or you're not capable of loving the way that I'm capable of loving. You're irrelevant. You're not a part of my story. You're not a part of my timeline. You deserve people that can show up the way that you show up. You deserve people in your life that can love the way that you

love, that can give the way you give, that can provide the way you provide. It's a two-way street. Stop giving 90 when someone is giving 10. Stop giving 70 when someone's giving 30. It's 50-50. It's 50-50. You show up in some ways, they show up in other ways, and you come together and you grow together as people.

That's the beauty of healthy relationships. If you are giving your fucking mind, body and soul to people that are ignoring you, that are dismissing you, that are not committing to you, that are giving you lame ass excuses all the time of why they can't be with you and you're tolerating it. Ask yourself what makes me think I deserve this and not more? Why am I settling for breadcrumbs when I could be getting the whole fucking cake, the whole cake with vanilla icing and sprinkles. There are people out there that value themselves so much and they're getting flown privately on jets with their abundant loving husbands.

While that person that you've been dating for six months can't even wish you a happy birthday or get you a birthday card. Like there are so many people, if you think about this, living in such different realities of relationships. And when you know that there are people out there living this like abundant, amazing, incredible life with the love of their life and getting treated like fucking queens, and then you're settling for a man who can't even respond to your texts for four days. Like come on.

And I've been on the other end of things. I've been on the side where I was settling, right, with my last relationship or even with, you know, people from my past. I'm looking at my old relationships, situationships, men I've dated and I'm like, was I really willing to give my attention, my precious valuable time and energy and everything that I offer, my heart, my beautiful heart to a man that just wanted to sleep with me and wanted nothing more? Like, you have to get real about your standards and your value for

yourself and what you want out of love and life. You need to raise your standards in order to get what you want out of life. It's not being bitchy, it's not being mean, it's not being too much. If you feel like you're asking too much out of someone they're not your person. It's not the right person for you. If they're telling you you're high maintenance, you're not your person. It's not the right person for you. If they're telling you you're high maintenance, you're asking for too much, it's not the right person for you. The right person will be able to meet your requirements and your standards. They'll be able to handle all of you. If you're a powerful woman, if you're a powerful woman, you will take up a lot of energetic space. I was talking with my friend about this last night.

Most people will not be able to handle your power if you take up a lot of space. They're not going to be able to handle it. So they'll try to bring you down. They'll try to diminish your power on purpose to make sure that you come down to their level so they'll be able to handle you. So they'll be able to get you to their level and handle you and manipulate you and take advantage of you. But you cannot let these people into your life. You have to hold true and firm to your standards and what you need out of life

and the right people will meet you there. Don't budge from your fucking standards. Now, this is actually kind of a preview to my masterclass, mind, body, soul reset. I talk a lot about boundaries and standards and knowing your worth in that masterclass, and I'm so excited to finally be releasing it. It's going to be incredible. I'm releasing it on November 9th. And I've been working on this masterclass for the last couple of months.

And it is such a game changer. I am so excited to get it out into the world. Being in this phase of my life, I've realized how important it is to nurture your mind, body, and soul, and how all of them work together in a trilogy. When you nurture all three of these components, your mind, body, and soul, your world opens up. You're able to manifest better.

You're able to attract better. You are literally able to elevate so high and vibrate so high that miracles will start happening all around you and people will notice your glow up, people will notice how drastically you've shifted energies and you've shifted timelines and that's what the course is focused on. The course is focused on making you the most unstoppable Empowered version of you and I'm so so excited to get it out into the world. It's released on November 9th You could find more details in the show notes or you could also go to the Instagram at mine body soul reset I cannot wait to see you there. I want you to be the most powerful fucking version of you and

Combined with dare to detach which is also my other masterclass Which is all about the power of detachment and letting go of a relationship or toxic X or toxic cycles Those two are a power duo taking both of those courses is the most powerful Combination ever you will be the most magnetic human being in the world guaranteed. You will be the most powerful person in every single room guaranteed. I cannot even begin to tell you how much my life has changed

after combining the power of detachment with resetting my mind, body, soul, and getting more grounded in my energy and knowing my worth and knowing how powerful I am. And then also combining that with detachment, that combination is elite. You will be unrecognizable after taking both of those programs. I can guarantee you that and I'm doing a special sale up until the new year and I'm so so excited for all of you to join the master classes and be a part of the community. It's been so incredible to watch the community

grow on Dare to Detach and now with the MindBody Soul Reset we're opening up a new group community chat and I'm so excited to meet all of you in that master class as well. There's gonna be a special discount code as well on the Instagram at Date Yourself instead when the course launches. So be sure to go follow me on Instagram at date yourself instead and on the at mind body soul reset Instagram account. Now for a little story time, which is maybe the more entertaining side of today's episode, I just want to give you some examples of how really grounding

my energy and becoming more confident in myself and not needing the approval of anyone else has changed the game for me in dating. So I'm in my era where I do not give a fuck about having a partner right now. I'm focused on being my own best friend, being my own romantic partner, really dating myself instead, and I'm so proud of how far I've come. Like I, as I said, there was always a small piece of me still lingering like, oh, maybe I do want someone, maybe I do need someone. And at the end of the day, like everyone wants to find their soulmate. Everyone wants to find true love, including myself. But I just know right now, this is my season

to focus on me and I'm embracing it. I'm surrendering to it. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to make the most of being alone right now because what's the point of being discouraged and sad and anxious over not having a partner. Like what is the fucking point of being sad? I could use this time as an opportunity to truly nurture the relationship with me. Nurture my mind body soul. Nurture the woman that I'm supposed to become and elevate myself and channel my energy into my work, into my friends, into being more creative. And I could use this energy into my work, into my friends, into being more creative. And I could use this energy to my advantage and become more powerful and become the woman

I've always wanted to be. And I see it physically, I see it mentally, I'm more clear, I'm more focused and more energized. More spiritually, I'm just grounded. I'm not on my phone as much. I'm learning to embrace the present moment. There's so many amazing benefits to focusing on you There's so much beauty in focusing on you while you're in a season of being alone and not having a partner

I promise you like if you really surrender to it and you're like, you know what? I'm just gonna let God leave it up to God when I meet my person But for now this is about me and I'm gonna do everything I can to make the most of it, your life will fucking change. It's just, it becomes a beautiful process and I'm in this process right now. So when you're in that process, you will notice that you will start drawing people in like a fucking magnet. And since I've been here, I will just go like to random places, restaurants, go to bars, I'll go to beach clubs and I will just draw people in without having

to lift a finger or do anything like literally nothing. The other night I was walking up these stairs to a beach club and I saw this man, this like tatted hot man walking down the stairs and I was walking up the stairs and we made eye contact and you just feel someone's energy like I'm so tuned in and tapped in here and I'm very like grounded and in my own energy so I feel when someone else is looking at me or sending me their energy if that makes sense. So I immediately felt his eyes on me and we locked eyes and he was coming down the stairs and I was going up the stairs. And in my mind I was like, oh, I know I'm gonna interact with this person.

Like I know that something's gonna happen where we're gonna have a conversation. I just knew in my soul that that was what was about to go down. And it was like a magnet, like a magnetic force pushed us together because I ended up getting placed behind him when I went to get a seat. The waiter literally put me behind him. get a seat, the waiter literally put me behind him. And there was a moment where the ocean, there was like a high tide and the ocean came in and almost knocked his table over. So he had to move back and he ended up sitting next to me. And it was like literally a supernatural force made the ocean like come up. And then he had to end up moving his seat and he was with some

people I was by myself but I just knew before any of that happened I already knew what was about to happen and my psychic tendencies were really tapped in here because I was like I know that this person and I are gonna have a conversation at some point tonight so he was with a group of people and I didn't end up saying anything but in my mind I was like, alright you know what, whatever, it's not a big deal, I don't really care. I'm just going to go home because I was tired. I end up leaving and as I'm standing in the front of the Beach Club I feel his presence like come up behind me and he literally like comes from behind me

and he's like, hey, I just wanted to say hi, like I didn't get a chance to speak to you over there, but I wanted to introduce myself, whatever. And we end up having a conversation and exchanging information and then we ended up talking and connecting and it was just so funny to me because I Didn't have to do anything in that situation Between the waiter sitting me down where he was and then the ocean making its supernatural power moves and then him Being divinely called to go and follow me out of the place and exchange info with me. I didn't have to do anything. I just sat back and watched it unfold.

I was coming from a place of genuine groundedness and power and knowing that I don't have to lift a finger for the divine things that are meant to happen to happen. You don't have to force it. You don't have to force anything when you come from a place of genuine trust and ease and surrender and you're truly in your power, you shouldn't have to force a connection or force someone to talk to you. And that was a moment in time that like really just opened my eyes to this concept of surrendering and being in your own energy and not giving a fuck. Like that is literally pure detachment at its finest and it was just one of those moments where regardless if anything

happens with that person or not which whatever regardless if anything happens with that person or not is irrelevant to me the point is I'm here telling this story because I know how powerful you become when you detach and you don't expect anything but you just know and you trust and you just kind of intuitively tap into things and you just know but you let it go and you let it flow and you come from a state of pure ease and you don't really care whether it happens or not. That's what detachment is all about. I was ready to leave, go home, and not even think about this person ever again.

But I was also trusting at my core that if it was meant to be, it would be, and we would connect. And we did. And now I'm like, oh, well, now I have the option to either pursue this connection, or it was just a friendly interaction where I may never see that person again but once again it just taught me about true surrender and attachment and being in my own energy and not really caring what happens because I'm so at peace with myself

and I love myself so much that I don't need the validation. I didn't need him to come up to me and chase me out of the restaurant. But it happened because I didn't need it. When you don't need anything, that's when the magic happens. When you're not desperately chasing, that's when the magic happens. Stop forcing shit. And that was such a divine moment that taught me the less you care the more you get the less you give a fuck the more you will receive out of the world and out of life because you're making space for people to come to you

you become the magnet because you just don't care and everything is energy and when you put so much emphasis on a person or situation, you create resistance that can block you from what's supposed to happen. You literally become the most powerful person in the room when you are detached, when you are focused on you, when you are grounded in your own energy, and when you don't expect anything, but you're open to receiving. It's this beautiful energy state where you're like, I don't expect anything, but you're open to receiving. It's this beautiful energy state where you're like, I don't expect anything to happen. I don't care if anything happens, but if it does, that's beautiful. But if it does, amazing. If it does, it was meant to be.

I was listening to Joel Osteen last night when I went to bed and something he said was, the people that are meant for you in your life, it'll be a divine connection where you won't have to question anything. It'll just be, it'll just happen. Let the magic happen and unfold according to God's plan and not your own. Stop forcing connections. If someone walks out of your life, let them walk. If someone is not choosing to stay in your life, that door was closed by God.

That door was closed. Let them walk. There will be people in your life that will stay and you can't get rid of them because they're supposed to be there. But if someone is walking away or if things aren't working out in a situation or if, you know, things just don't go according to plan in any aspect of your life. That door has closed.

Let it close. God closed it for you for a reason, for a divine fucking reason, because there's something better coming. There is a better person coming. There's a better relationship coming. There's a better career coming. There's a better opportunity coming. Stop limiting yourself to your physical currently. That's the issue so many of us deal with is limiting yourself because you only see a certain situation in the present moment. You're not thinking big enough. You're not opening your mind to new possibilities because you're stuck on that X that you thought was the love of your life.

You're stuck on a career that you've been doing for 10 years and you're like, I can't see myself doing anything else. I don't have any other skills. You have skills built within you that you haven't tapped into yet. You have a future version of you waiting inside of you that you haven't tapped into yet because you're not allowing yourself, you're not opening yourself to access that portal, to access that timeline. But today I want you to literally wake up for the next week, for the next month and tell yourself, I am open to receiving new miracles. I am open to receiving new opportunities, new blessings.

I am open to receiving a different version of reality that I can't see physically yet, but I trust that there has to be better for me. There has to be better. There has to be something waiting for me that maybe I can't see right now and maybe it's hard and maybe it's difficult, but there is a version of me out there that is happier in a better circumstance, in a better relationship, in a better environment, in a better career. There is better coming, there is better waiting for you in your future. I can promise you that. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of Date Yourself Instead. Thank you so much for being here. As always, I

love you guys so much. I appreciate all the messages all the comments on Spotify YouTube Apple I love you. I'm grateful for you. I read everything It makes my day all your DMS on Instagram everything when we connect I feel more inspired to create and I'm so grateful. I have so much gratitude for this community You're all so amazing and you heal me just as much as hopefully I heal you I amazing and you heal me just as much as hopefully I heal you. I also want to mention my master classes the Mind Body Soul Reset and Dare to Detach. They're both going to be sold together on November 9th as a combination and I am so excited to release them. I hope to see you there. I'm wishing you an amazing day

and stay tuned for next Monday.