Date Yourself Instead - How to focus on yourself

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

Where your attention goes, energy flows.

There is an epidemic going around of engaging in so much content to the point where you feel like your head's exploding and you feel like you don't know what to do with your time or energy and your energy is all over the place and just like super scattered because there's so much going on online, on social media, on our feed. And I needed to sit down with myself and take a pause and take a little break from social media today. And this week has been more of a chill week where I've tried to be off my phone as much as possible. because of this one thing. When you engage in something, you're giving it your currency. And your currency is your energy. And your energy is very valuable and sacred.

Everything in your life multiplies by the amount of attention you are giving it, okay? So the more you focus on something, have you ever heard that expression, where your attention goes, energy flows? It's true. Because where you're giving the most attention is what's going to show up in your reality

the most. And this is something that I've recently come to realize as I've been consuming a lot of content online and realizing that my energy was so freaking scattered to the point where I couldn't focus and I wasn't able to focus on my own goals and what I needed to do and get done for the day because I was busy consuming other people's stuff. Now, usually I'm pretty disciplined with my social media and my phone, but lately I don't know what's been going on. I just feel like I haven't been able to focus as deeply as I usually do. Maybe it was so I could speak about it on today's episode because today I woke up and had a major realization that my energy wasn't focused on the right things. And what we focus on multiplies, what we really give our attention to grows

in our field. I like to think of our energy really as our currency, right? If we are constantly swiping on other people's shit, basically what ends up happening is we drain ourselves. We drain ourselves financially because we don't have the ability to pour back into ourselves. We don't have the ability to give ourselves the attention we need because we're so busy consumed in other people's lives and realities and what they're doing and where they're traveling to. And on today's episode, I really wanted to cover this concept of really knowing how to shift your attention back onto you and back onto yourself. I think as we're nearing the end of 2025, it's a really good topic to discuss because if you want to rebrand your life, I feel like the most important thing

is really knowing how to direct your energy back into you. Whenever you lose sight of your mission, that's when things start to get all messy and sloppy. And I feel like for me personally, when I don't stay disciplined and I don't focus on my own goals and I get sidetracked by other people's bullshit, it starts to like really dampen my life experience. Not to sound dramatic, but I feel like when I wake up, I don't feel as happy or productive or good about myself when I'm consuming other people's stuff all the time. And that's not to say there aren't really inspiring creators out there or people that I want

to follow and look up to, but at the same time, if you're spending the majority of your day and your valuable precious energy absorbed by what other people are doing, it really does take away from your future goals and your destiny and what God in the universe has in store for you. So after doing some deep reflecting on this topic, I realized that I needed to get quiet in my head and take a breather from my phone and go off the grid for a little bit and not even really hang out with people. I have been really bad with my texts. I haven't been answering people because I know that I need this time and these next few weeks to really anchor in my own energy. When you anchor in your own energy and you really get grounded from within and you start building

the home from within, you will see that reflected in your external world. And sometimes it's not overnight shifts, but I feel like the more I've been able to spend time with myself, be present with myself and really ground, I've been able to think more clearly, and I've been able to focus on the things that matter, which is my work, my career, my intentions, moving into the new year, what I want out of the last few months of 2025 into 2026. There is a massive shift in the collective right now happening where everyone is trying to rebrand. I know all of you, if you're watching this right now, you want to make the most out of the end of the year and go into the new year feeling fresh, feeling confident, feeling inspired, and I want to help you guys do

that. And a huge piece of this is knowing where your attention is going and where your energy is being directed at. Something Abraham Hicks always says, which I love, is the more you focus on a problem, the problem gets bigger. And essentially, you're knocked out of alignment. And when you're knocked out of alignment and you're not truly aligned with your higher self and what, you know, the universe really wants for you, which is to be happy and free and abundant and joy. and light and energized all the time, things will repeatedly start to feel crappy because you're constantly focusing on what you don't want. When you focus on what you don't want, that is what is going to keep showing up in your life. And when you focus on the feelings that are good and what you

really do want, that's going to show up in your life. So the first tip I have for you, if you feel like you're the type of person who's easily sidetracked and your energy isn't going towards the right things or the right people or the right relationships, etc. You have to understand that disengaging is actually the most amazing form of discipline. Disengaging in things that aren't serving your highest timeline is so powerful because you are removing your energy from whatever isn't right for you and you're taking a step back and it will force you to start prioritizing what actually matters in your life. I'll give you an example. There was someone that I was chatting with who I had a romantic interest in for a hot second,

I noticed when he pulled back energetically, it knocked me really far out of alignment. And usually I'm pretty good with this stuff. And I feel like I've come a long way when it comes to dating and really standing my ground and knowing what I deserve. So it really did surprise me. The way my body kind of tensed up and reacted to the fact that he hadn't replied to my messages,

I was like, who do you think you are? And it was one of those situations where I was like, okay, I had to take a step back for a second and completely remove my energy from the fact that he wasn't messaging me. And instead, redirect my attention to my goals and what actually makes me feel productive and good. There is nothing more amazing than knowing your power, knowing how amazing you are, and reminding yourself of that after a minor setback like that, I think it's normal and human to get knocked out of alignment. But the beauty of someone showing you something that you don't like, for example, not having your messages replied to in a normal

human amount of time, or, you know, just saying something that goes against your values or whatever it is, whenever you're faced with something you really don't prefer, you're being shown the contrast. And with contrast comes clarity. Now, let me explain that, because this has helped me so much and has been such a game changer when it comes to getting myself back into alignment and really shifting my attention to more beneficial things. So let's just say someone doesn't make you feel good and they've done something that you don't prefer and you don't like. Instead of getting hung up on it and getting really discouraged and upset and anxious and worried that the relationship isn't going to work out, whatever it is, instead of getting hung up on the

negatives, look at the fact that you are being shown what it is that you don't like. And when you're being shown the contrast, what you like versus what you don't like, you have divine clarity. Praise God for the clarity. If someone isn't giving you what you deserve and you know you deserve better, this is just one example, you are being divinely guided into a better situation, guaranteed if you just get excited about the contrast. Get excited about the fact that you're being shown what you.

don't want so you can move further towards what it is that you do want and get clear on your values and what you stand for. Let it show you more about who you are and get excited about that. If someone isn't showing up for you properly in any area of your life, whether it's your work, whether it's your boss, whether it's a family member, a friend, or a romantic partner, praise God for the clarity. I made a TikTok video about this and it resonated with a lot of you as well. I said praise God for the clarity. You are being shown exactly what it is that you don't want so you can move further towards what you do want and accelerate your manifestations, accelerate that dream relationship towards you. You're moving closer towards your dream relationship, your dream career,

your dream life whenever you are experiencing contrast. The next point I want to make is that your energy is an algorithm and what you feed your energetic field and what you're absorbing on a daily basis is an algorithm. And the more you're looking at something, the more you're engaging in people's shit, the more you're talking about the same problem over. and over again with someone. You didn't like their behavior. You didn't like how they treated you. They ghosted you.

They walked away. They disrespected you. The more you're engaging in those negative emotions, the more you're going to see that show up in your reality. And I tested this with someone that I was speaking to in a work environment. I was really fed up with the way I was being disrespected and treated. And instead of harping on the disrespect, I completely shifted my energy away from the problem, removed it entirely from my.

space and from my mental space. And instead, I took myself to dinner and had an amazing fucking night and basked in my own divine energy. And I kept reminding myself how valuable I was and how I should be appreciated. And I deserve the utmost respect. And the right people and the right team will appreciate and see my value and see my worth. What's so amazing is that after that, the problem dissolved and dissipated on its own. I didn't have to lift a finger or try or force or convince someone to see my value after that because I simply shifted my energetic state and my attention away from the problem.

As I just said, your energy is an algorithm and what you're feeding your algorithm on a daily basis, that is what you're going to see consistently. So stop focusing on problems, on lack, on things you hate, and start focusing on the things you love and what you know you deserve. The next thing is every choice you make

can make or break a new timeline shift. in your reality. This is something I wrote down because I did not want to forget it on today's episode. Every choice you make defines whether you're going to collapse time and shift into the next era of your life or not. So actually, removing your energy from someone that doesn't deserve you or removing your energy from a line of work that isn't aligned with you anymore or rebranding in a career sense because you're not really happy with where you're at currently and it's not resonating with you anymore, or going to the gym and starting a new routine for yourself, getting into a totally different workout era of your life and going for runs, yoga, meditation,

journaling, upping your health, which I'm going to talk about in the next point, all of these little decisions, they seem not that big of a deal, but they really actually compound and they make or break if you're going to get to the next level of your life. All of these small decisions are actually defining factors in how you show up for your future. something I've learned is even something as simple as pulling back your energy and not answering someone that disrespected you gives you the clarity and the ability to really assess what's right for you and it can shift your timeline because suddenly if you're no longer tolerating breadcrumbs or you're no longer tolerating something that just doesn't make you feel good and you lean into

what actually makes you feel good you start shifting timelines upleveling recalibrating and ascending into the next best version of you that attracts really amazing people into your life or really amazing situations into your life that make you kind of question why you were ever settling in the first place and you're like, why the fuck was I tolerating that? Two weeks ago, I'm a totally different person now

because I stood on business. When you stand on business and you command respect from the universe, abundance, and true love, new doors will start opening for you, guaranteed. The next point I want to talk about is physical health and moving your body and really getting yourself excited about working out and moving. If you have the luxury and the privilege of having two legs and two arms and you can

work out properly and you can get your ass to the gym, get your ass to the gym. Because I am telling you right now, when you have discipline in the sense of taking care of your physical health and your body and movement, it leaks into every other part of your life. It affects every other part of your life in a positive way, in the most amazing, incredible way, because when you build the foundation of your body and you have that discipline to really invest in your physical health, it really does set the tone for every other area of your life, your spiritual health, your mental health, your emotional health. I feel like some of the best moments of clarity I've had where I've had realizations about my life, my life purpose, my mission, my future,

my relationships, my relationship to myself, to God, to everything. All of those moments, have come on my runs or during Pilates or in the gym in general when I'm in movement, when I'm moving my body and moving stuck energy and moving stagnant, depressing energy that lingers here sometimes, when you move, you're moving that energy out into something positive and you're giving yourself momentum and you're able to shift yourself out of any negative thoughts or doubt or anxiety or worries or fear. I have struggled with my mental health a lot and I still have moments where I do and I know on the podcast and on these videos sometimes I come off as like really tough and really confident and there are other times where I just

don't feel that way at all and I have to force myself to get myself out of bed and go to the gym to feel better but every time I've done that it's always been worth it. It's always helped me drastically shift my mood. I feel better. My hormones are more regulated. I feel like I could take on the world when I'm lifting weights. I feel like a fucking warrior. I also listen to self-help content. I also listen to things that inspire me. I don't listen to sad music. I really filter out the things that don't make me feel good or aligned. And I try to focus as much as I possibly can on positive uplifting content while I'm in the gym, while I'm building my body, while I'm building my core strength, while I'm fueling my muscles with what they need. It's just such an empowering

feeling and I really do attribute the gym to helping my mental health drastically. And I've been able to make shifts in my life and my career when I've learned and mastered the art of taking care of my physical health. You have to understand that your body is a sacred vessel and it's a sacred portal. And when you treat it with love and respect and you build it and you work on it and you work on building your strength, it really does build the foundation for every other area of your life guaranteed. As I've gotten older, I feel like, I've matured so much with the way I handle my feelings, my emotions, and where I'm putting my actual energy and attention. As I'm approaching 33 in a few months, I've definitely

matured when it comes to handling chaos in my life. When things didn't go as planned or according to plan or I had losses or I had struggles in any way, shape, or form, in the past, I think I would freak out and feel like my world was ending and have a panic attack. You get the drill, okay? You get the point. I think it was really hard for me to handle my emotions. My emotions were very up and down, roller coaster vibes. And as I've gotten older, I can't afford to scatter my energy that way anymore.

I can't afford to leak my emotions like that anymore. And I just simply don't have the energy to do it. I just don't. I feel like I've come to a point in my life where I'm more. stoic and I'm more grounded and anchored and know that everything is always happening to me for a divine reason. Everything is always part of the divine plan. And this is also strengthened my relationship with the universe, with God, with the higher powers that are guiding me and protecting me and leading me into the next chapters of my life. I've come to understand that instead of placing

my attention on problems, on stress, on worries, the best thing I could always do is surrender. You kind of just put your hands up and you're like, I don't know what's going on and I don't know why this is happening, but I'm just going to take a step back for a moment and breathe. That reaction has been very, very, very productive and helpful for me versus freaking out and, you know, going crazy in the past because let's face it, we've all been there. When something's not going according to plan, it can be really scary. But I think something I've really realized is this concept of maturity and understanding that the biggest players in the world, the biggest CEOs in the world, the people who have the

most successful up and running businesses in the world have to handle extreme pressure and have to handle things when they go wrong in a very calm, stoic way. And I realize that the small things that I'm panicking about do not compare to some of the biggest problems that these CEOs have. I want to be a boss. I want to be a boss bitch. Like I want to be on top of the world living my dream, crushing it, living my best life, and achieving all of my goals. And in order to get there, I realize you have to be emotionally mature. You can't freak out at every single little hurdle that comes your way because that is going to keep you stuck and it is going to be really unproductive. It's just not going to help. So I think for me practicing more meditations

and really just removing my emotions and kind of detaching from the stressors that are going on around me have played such a crucial role in my level of maturity and just being able to look at a problem more objectively instead of emotionally and say, you know what, this is really not great, but I'm going to handle this and tackle this with grace. And before I know it, it will be resolved. I'm not going to let my emotions get the best of me. And everything is going to work out because everything is part of the divine plan to teach us more about ourselves, to help us grow as entrepreneurs, to help us grow into the people we're

supposed to become. And that's okay. Okay. There are going to be bumps in the road when it comes to building really big businesses. If you are a really ambitious person and you want to build your own business and you want to build your own brand, you have to understand how to handle your emotions with maturity and grace. The next thing is don't engage with anything that you don't want to live tomorrow. If you don't want to repeat the same thing tomorrow, stop giving it your attention and feeding it. Once again, what you're speaking about, what you're beating down to the ground, what you're emotionally consumed by, it will grow bigger and bigger the more you give your attention to it. So what I want you to do is write down 10 things that you know would

actually make you feel good. Even if it's something small, what will make you feel better? What will make you feel a little more aligned and more in alignment? Because if you're shaken up by a situation, chances are you're being knocked out of alignment. The key to get back into alignment is to focus on what actually feels good for you. If replaying the same scenario a hundred times over in your head is making you feel crappy, that's a sign that you need to shift your attention. Stop fixating on what you don't want and start focusing on what you do want. And that's when things start shifting and clicking. And that's when you're able to raise your frequency and change your reality. I think something I've realized is, and this is also why I changed the name of

the podcast, date yourself instead, and I'm trying to shift the focus away from just dating and focus more on general self-help. I was beating down the same storylines, the same dating toxic situationships. I was beating down the same story times over and over again to the point where it was exhausting for me, and I knew I was out of alignment. And I was like, I don't have really that much else to talk about here. It's not exciting for me. It's draining me. And honestly, I don't want to keep beating a dead horse. I don't want to keep giving my attention to stories that are so far in my past. There was someone that actually came up to me here on the beach. She was literally the sweetest person ever. Something she said to me was like, oh, I know you were dating that guy in London and I was

like, wait a second, who? Like, I don't even remember half the shit I've said on old episodes because it was so far in my past and I was like trying to remember what episode she was talking about. I'm like, I don't even remember who she was referring to because I was such a different person back then. And part of the reason I rebranded was simply because I didn't want to give my attention to the past anymore. I didn't want to give my attention to all of these people that I've dated anymore because as I said, where your attention is going and what you're talking about manifests and shows up accordingly. And it'll still be a part of your vortex and your energetic field. And I want to start 2026 transparently with a brand new slate, brand new energy,

brand new brand and brand new me. So you have to make the conscious choice to shift where your energy is going and to stop talking about people and things and situations that aren't aligned with your higher self. The next thing actually is really fascinating. And I truly believe this. It's an amazing way of detaching and really just re-centering the energy back onto yourself into the New Year, if there is someone in your life or something that's really bothering you, you have to look at it as simply just a mirror of what you're validating. You're choosing to give them that power. You're giving your power over to someone if you're that affected by them. And every time I think of it like that, and I'm like, wait, I've handed them my power and that's why they're triggering me

this much. I wouldn't be triggered if this was my cousin speaking to me that way or my grandma, right? Like you wouldn't, you wouldn't feel the same if it was someone you didn't have. have that like intense emotional attachment to. If someone is affecting you that much or a situation is affecting you that much, you are giving and handing over your power to that person or situation. So you have to understand that everything is simply just a mirror of what you're validating. The moment you stop reacting and you stop investing and giving your power over, that's when amazing things will always happen for you.

Because you clear your energy space. You don't want to get all entangled with people and situations that aren't even a part of your future. People treat you based on what you're reinforcing and the label that you're giving them. So if you're putting someone on a pedestal, they're going to trigger you if they don't respond to you the way you want them to respond to you. If they don't treat you the way you want them to treat you, that will trigger you if you have them on a pedestal because you're like, oh my God, I'm going to lose them or they don't like me. They're going to walk away from me. They don't like me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or they don't accept me.

They don't approve of me. If it's like a work thing, whatever it is. You're giving them your power. You teach people by how much you're anchored in your own energy. Let me repeat that. You teach people how to treat you and how to perceive you and how to show up for you based on how much you're anchored in your own energy. The second you stop investing so much into someone and you stop putting them on a pedestal, it will collapse the field and make them come towards you because you're not gripping onto them so tightly anymore. And you become a vacuum where suddenly you take your power back and they'll sense that and they'll feel that they'll want to contact you more and be around you more and respect you more because you start showing up for yourself

and you start anchoring in your own energy. Your detachment forces those people and those situations and everything around you to show up very differently. When you take your power back and detach, everything else will start shifting accordingly. Time will collapse around you. Things won't have power anymore. So even if something isn't working out, it no longer affects you. because you're like, okay, it's not meant for me. Okay, wasn't supposed to be. Wasn't meant to be. If it is meant to be, you would know, promise you, because it would just work. It would just be effortless and it would be easy. If it was meant for you and aligned for you in your highest timeline, you would know. It would just flow. It would be light. It would be good. It would be

free. You wouldn't be watching this video, most likely, till the end, because you would just know and you'd be so in alignment that you wouldn't even need advice, which is a good thing. That's an amazing thing. And I love when people tell me and they message me, they're like, I stopped listening to your podcast because I found a love of my life. I got into alignment. I started manifesting everything I deserved. I took your courses and I detached and then I met my soulmate.

I just feel so confident. Those messages are why I do what I do. And this is why I do what I do, right? To help you get so in alignment that you don't really need as much. self-help as you used to. And when you feel really good, you just don't need the content anymore. I read this quote and I really want to share it with you guys to conclude today's episode because I love it and it really ties everything together. You're not responsible for teaching everyone how to love you and show up for you. You're responsible for loving yourself

so powerfully that anything misaligned cannot survive in your field. Anything misaligned when you truly anchor in your energy and you shift all your attention within and you put the focus back on yourself the most. Anything that's misaligned cannot survive in your field anymore. It will be stripped away, naturally, very organically, it will just be stripped away. And it won't even hurt or affect you because you'll be so sure of how amazing you are that you deserve the best. Anything that is meant for you will show up inevitably. It will show up. And everything that you've ever wanted, all your manifestations, all your dreams, all your goals, they will manifest when you master yourself and master where your attention and energy is going.

And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of LIS. Thank you as always for listening to the podcast. It means the world to me. I love you guys so much. Give it a thumbs up on YouTube if you're watching over there. And leave a comment on Spotify. Share it with a friend if you enjoyed this episode. Let me know your thoughts.

And if you're planning on shifting your attention and your energy drastically this year moving into the new year, I'm so excited for you guys to up level with me. You could also DM me at L-Y-S-S-S. on Instagram. My DMs are open. I appreciate you. Thanks again and stay tuned for future episodes.