Date Yourself Instead - How to handle rejection effortlessly

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

What if rejection isn't actually rejection?In today's episode, I'm diving deep into one of the most powerful mindset shifts I've ever experienced: the idea that everyone is your mirror. We talk about self-worth, self-concept, manifestation, dating, Neville Goddard, energy, and why the quality of your life is always a direct reflection of how you're showing up for yourself.manifest overnight masterclass: ⁠access here now.⁠all masterclasses: ⁠https://stan.store/lyssbossInstagram: @lyssTikTok: @lyssSpotify: LYSS Podcast

I read something that said, people cannot reject you. You can only reject a low-level version of yourself. You're only rejecting yourself. If you feel rejection or betrayal or like someone is not giving you what you really deserve, it's because you're not giving it to yourself. You are actually rejecting yourself because everyone is you pushed out and everyone is your mirror and is showing you where you're currently vibrating at and how much you really love yourself and how strong your self-worth and yourself

concept is, okay? When I actually processed what that meant, everything in my reality shifted more than ever. I suddenly realized the formula to life. I suddenly realized what I had been missing out on the entire time. If everyone is you pushed out, that means that there is no other. It's only you. It's only your consciousness and what you are feeding it, how you feel, where you're vibrating at, how much you love yourself, how much you show up for yourself, how much you care about yourself. Everything is tied to how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. Everything is interconnected and everything comes back to the same concept of I am and how much

you value yourself and your perception of yourself. Okay. If you truly love yourself, there is no way anyone can actually reject you because it'll never be seen as rejection. It'll always be seen as divine protection, divine intervention. divine intervention, and you will be rerouted to the right people, the right timelines, the right environments, the right places. The more you love yourself, the more you decide to upgrade your entire self-concept, there is no such thing as rejection. There is only redirection,

okay? It's never actually rejection, it's divine protection, it's redirection. You have to understand that everyone is your mirror. And I'm going to give you an example of something that recently I had experienced in dating that had shaken me up a little bit. There was someone that I really liked and he wasn't asking me out. Like he wasn't properly asking me out or asking me to dinner, asking me on a proper date. And he wasn't showing up the way I'd expect a man to show up for me at this point in my life. Once I understood this concept, everything shifted because I realized that I wasn't properly showing up for my. I wasn't doing what I needed to do for myself in order for everything else to fall into place accordingly.

And then when I actually started to take action and do everything I said I was going to do and be the best partner for myself, I felt so differently about the situation that it didn't matter. It was completely irrelevant what that person was doing and what that person was choosing to do and how he was choosing to show up. because I was able to shout for myself so it didn't matter anymore. The pressure was lifted off of the situation. I stopped giving a fuck. And then what ended up happening is, of course, he messaged me. Of course he texted me.

Of course he started being up my ass and making a plan. Because I suddenly filled the void that I was expecting him to initially fill. I filled it myself. And when you fill that void yourself and you're able to do that on your own by doing the things you love, following your passions, getting clear on your goals, getting clear on your mindset, taking care of your mind, body, soul, going to the gym, building a routine for yourself. Pouring all of that self-love into you, that is when everything else around you is able to shift.

That is when you become the greatest version of yourself and you get into pure alignment and you actually meet the right people that can meet you where you're at. And you actually align with the people that are going to give you what you deserve because you're giving yourself what you deserve. Everyone is your mirror. We live in such a 3D reality where we're always checking for text. We're always checking if someone replied to our story. We're always checking if someone liked our story is engaging with our social media content,

is engaging with us in a digital world. We're always looking for that validation, right? And it's so easy to forget that none of that shit actually matters. Because in the 4D, you don't need to do anything other than change your conception of yourself. And this is why I created my master class manifest overnight. It talks about claiming responsibility for your life and not depending on any external validation. And that is when the manifestation show up. That is when you get into alignment and get everything you want because you're so zoned in on you.

You're so self-consumed and you're so obsessed with you and your own timeline and what you're doing that you become a vacuum for blessings, for miracles, because you are able to fill your own cup and give yourself everything that you've ever wanted from another and give yourself everything that you've been asking for without needing the external validation. It's a feeling. We're always looking for a feeling, right? The reason you want the love of your life is because you want the feeling of love and bliss and physical connection, which is amazing. And it will happen. But you have to get in alignment with yourself in order for that to show up naturally, right? You don't want to attract a partner out of fear, desperation, anxiety, stress because what ends up happening is you attract partners

that keep you in a toxic loop of constantly needing them to feed yourself love. And that's not what we want, right? You want to attract someone from a high vibrational standpoint, from a place where you know that you're good. You don't need them for that dopamine hit, but it's amazing to enjoy and spend time together, period, right? Everyone is showing you where you are currently operating at in terms of your own self-love and self-worth.

Period. Point blank. It's facts. That's how energy works. That's how the law of attraction works. You attract where you're currently operating at with yourself concept, with how much you value yourself, and how much you're willing to give yourself

and show up for yourself on a daily basis. I'm going to give you another example. There was someone I was dating on and off for two years, and to a lot of other people, he was a bad guy because he wasn't able to be completely emotionally available for these girls, right? which of course isn't ideal if you're going into a dating situation and you're looking for someone to commit to you in the traditional sense and you're looking to get married. This guy wasn't really that type of person to many women. But to me, he was willing to show up differently because

at that point in my life, I didn't want those things. I didn't want to get married. I didn't want a serious relationship. So he was willing to show up differently and show me, that he was willing to commit differently than he usually would, because I wasn't asking him for anything. I was my own source of love and joy in that specific dynamic. To another woman, I could understand why their perception of him would be toxic for them, right? Because in a traditional sense,

he wasn't looking for a serious commitment and partnership. But for me at that stage of my life, that was exactly what I had wanted. That's exactly what I had asked for because I was operating at the same vibrational place that he was. So to me, he was a mirror of where I currently was, and it wasn't affecting me in any negative way necessarily because we were meeting at the same energetic place.

And I had nothing necessarily wrong with his decisions, what he was doing. If we didn't speak for two weeks, it didn't trigger me. If he was dating another person, I didn't mind hearing about it. Whereas I could understand for another woman dating him, it would be a nightmare. The whole point is you're always going to, one, attract where you're currently operating at and how much someone affects you is how strong your self-concept really is.

Now, if your self-concept is really high and strong and you meet someone that isn't operating where you're currently operating at and your values aren't aligned, let's just say you really want to get married and this guy, for example, was like, I'm not looking at. for anything serious. If your self-concept is strong enough, you're just going to simply remove yourself from the situation. It's not going to trigger you. It's not going to affect you because you know that there's a better match for you out there. You're so full and you're so open to receiving what you asked for and you trust in God and divine timing and the universe that there's no issue because you're like, okay, this just isn't my person. And you remove yourself and you move on, right? But when you

waver in yourself concept, that's when things get tricky because if you waver from your standards, from your values and what you're looking for, you can get entangled in a situation that isn't making you truly happy and that starts to drag you down and starts to affect your confidence, trigger you, bring up old wounds because you aren't standing strong in who you truly are and what you truly want. You're giving someone else, your energy, you're giving someone else pieces of yourself willingly because you want love. You're starving for something. You're starving for connections.

So you're like, maybe I could deal with this. Maybe I can shift my needs a little bit to make it work. No, you stand clear and you stand completely strong and firm and unwavering in who you are. And the right people and situations will always find you. They will always end up meeting you where you're at. And if that person that you're entertaining drops off, fine. It's not meant to be. And you're not going to get upset by it because you're.

You trust that what you want is really out there and what you want really exists. And you're not going to settle for anything less. Now let's talk about becoming a vacuum for anything that you desire. Whether it's a new career, more money, a new relationship, whatever it is, a specific person even, okay, if you really want to go there. Let's talk about why self-obsession with your life creates a vacuum, collapses the timeline, and brings the right things and situations to you. Now, I'm going to give you guys a little preview of my master class manifest overnight. A lot of it stems from Neville Goddard's teachings. Neville Goddard teaches that your consciousness is the only reality. Now, what does that mean? Everything is in your mind and your imagination

is in control of everything. The 4D, your imagination is in control of reality. And everything that goes on in your head is what is going to play out accordingly in the third dimension. So let me explain that so you really understand what I'm saying, okay? If you're constantly thinking of things in your imagination and you're thinking of scenarios all the time in your head as we do, right? We're always constantly thinking and conceptualizing in our brain. The universe will play that out in the 3D. The same way a movie projector projects something on a screen, where you're putting your attention, where you're giving your energy, everything that you are thinking in your imagination and crafting up in your imagination will eventually show up in the

3D. You are constantly creating your reality and turning everything in the 4D up here, right, in your imagination into a movie in front of you on the big screen. The big screen is the 3D world that we see around us. Every person, every situation, everything that's happening to us is a reflection of what's going on up here. The only way that your 3D reality, your external world, everything going on outside of you, shifts. The only way it shifts is if you're shifting your internal state and yourself concept. So if you have this fixed identity, this fixed idea and version of yourself in your brain for 10 years, let's just say you have this narrative or this subconscious programming that you can never

find the right person. And you're 45 years old, you feel like it's too late for the last 10 years you've been searching for love you've been seeking for partnership and it's never worked out there's a chance that because it's been so long you've ingrained this identity into yourself dating is hard everyone sucks dating apps are terrible you're never going to meet the right person all men are trash blah blah blah blah blah you get the point when you create a fixed version of yourself in a specific state it has no choice but to constantly reflect in your 3d reality The only way to change the external and change your reality and actually get what you want is to completely rewrite your identity and monitor the conversations and everything going on in your

imagination at all times until it becomes natural to you until you embody a new identity. There are some people who have messaged me before and they question how often I transform and change and they're like you're always in a different place, you're always traveling, you're always changing up things about yourself. You're always talking about rebranding. Why do I do this? Because I'm always looking to manifest new timelines and do new things. And the only way to actually transform your 3D is to keep transforming and evolving and changing your identity. That's how you keep upgrading your life. The greatest artists and creatives in the world, they're constantly experimenting and reinventing themselves and changing their style and changing their style and changing

who they are because they're creatives and they want to evolve and keep doing new things and taking on new projects and scaling to new timelines and new dimensions. But the only way you could do that is if you change your internal state. Most people, right, if you're trying to change something or manifest something, are living in reverse where they see a result, they see something playing out in their 3D. For example, someone is not committing to you or your business is moving really slowly and it's not giving you the results that you expected. What happens is most people will see that and then try to change it by doing all these physical things to manipulate the circumstances, to manipulate someone, right? Like you try to do the most to fix things and change things. When in reality,

the only thing you actually really need to do is change your conception of yourself and what's actually happening, changing the narrative of what's actually playing out. And then everything in your external world, we'll start to rearrange in your favor. When I had to reinvent myself, I was building my podcast and I really needed to figure out how to make a living and I really needed to figure out how to scale my business. I would write in my notes and I was journaling a lot because I needed money. And I was like, I am making at least $200,000 over the next six months. I didn't know how I was going to do it. I had no game plan, but I just kept telling myself, I am making $200,000, period. I don't care how I get there.

I don't know how I'm going to get there, but this is what is happening. And I had to reprogram my entire subconscious mind to believe that that was the only possibility. When you keep telling yourself a new story in your brain, my previous thoughts were all about lack and panic. I was panicking because I needed money. And it's a very common feeling when you're backs up against the wall financially. You're panicking because you're like, I have bills to pay. I have rent to pay. I have to support myself. So the natural instinct is to panic and get all frantic. That actually will block you from finding the solution more than ever. And it keeps you in a cycle of feeling very stuck financially where you feel like you can never get out and you feel like you're always scrambling to

figure it out with money. What I learned is you have to wipe the slate clean and tell yourself a new story until it feels so fucking real that there is no other choice but for the universe to hand you over the money, to hand you over what you're asking for. This can apply to anything that you're asking for. But specifically, I know a lot of you guys ask me about money and career related things and it's a very common experience when you feel like things aren't moving at the pace that you want them to with your business, with work, with your career, and you got bills to pay. Okay. So I remember at this point of my life, I was like always shaking, always frantic, and I felt like my back was up against the wall. And what I did sounds a little risky and a lot of people

are afraid to take risks and I understand that and I respect that entirely. But for me, I knew that the only way to get that $200,000 was to go all in with that belief. It's delusion. right? You could call it delusion, but it's really just a shift in consciousness. So I just kept writing it down. I would wake up every day and I'm like, I'm making $200,000 and then I'll figure it out from there, but I need that 200 can. It's happening. There's no other option. What ended up happening was my brain started giving me ideas and solutions. You start thinking of new ideas and new visions for yourself that lead you to that type of money that will get you to the end goal. Within six months, I surpassed $200,000, okay? I was making way more than that because I had completely

immersed myself in the naturalness of my desire. It was done. And I became a vacuum for money. I became a vacuum for miracles and success because there was no other option in my brain. I shut out any idea of it not being possible. And this is a lot of what my master class talks about. The link is in my show notes, if you're interested, in completely rewiring your subconscious, taking control of your life, taking responsibility for your timeline, and getting your shit together and seeing results fast. That is literally why I created it. But this is a preview of it, right?

And this is so important. This is so important and this can apply to literally any area of your life where you're trying to improve, where you're trying to manifest something specific. You have to be so delusional confident in that new consciousness that the 3D has no choice but to play out what's going on inside your imagination. And just to be clear, I didn't manifest that $200,000 out of thin air like someone just handed me a check. I still had to take action and work to generate that wealth, to generate that money. But my subconscious became unstuck and I unblocked the part of my brain that was stuck in order to spark new ideas to create that wealth.

Money can come to you in very unexpected, miraculous ways, but sometimes it's an idea that's going to come to you that will generate that wealth. So for me, it was an idea that came to me that generated that wealth that actually helped me surpass that type of money and made me realize that our imagination is limitless. It's absolutely limitless. And we can create the reality that we desire based on how much we believe it to be true. becoming a vacuum for your manifestations and what you want, a lot of it also has to do with where your attention is currently going. This is why I mentioned looking at people's social media and looking who watched your story and all that stuff,

because I've done this before. I am speaking from personal experience when I say that, that is a leak of your power, even if it seems like a small thing. the more you are outwardly giving your energy to who is watching you, who is validating you, who's consuming you, you're actually consuming them. Let me explain that. Let's just say there's a guy you have a crush on. There's a guy you like, okay?

And you are posting for that guy to validate you and to see you and to like all your shit and to like message you. You're posting to prompt them. You're actually giving them your energy by doing that. not consuming you, you're actually consuming them still. That's why we have it so backwards. You don't have to do anything for someone to come towards you. When you are a vacuum, people gravitate towards you naturally. And the reason that you're posting for them to validate you is because they're more in their power than you are in yours. If you're trying to get someone's attention by

constantly posting for them and liking their stuff as a woman and you're doing this for a man, he has control over you. He has control over you. Energetically, even if it's a little bit because you are doing something for their attention, for the validation. And listen, when you're in the initial flirty stages of dating and you're doing it for each other and it's mutual, it's cute. It can be a good thing sometimes. But most of the time, if you're doing it for pure validation and it's because they're not giving it to you, there's an uneven balance of power and it's an uneven energy dynamic. We want to get you to a place where you feel so in your energy. that you're posting for you.

You're doing things for you. You're showing up for you. You're manifesting yourself. You're not manifesting them. You are manifesting you and the greatest version of you. And the more you think of it like that, the more the right people are going to gravitate towards you. And nine times out of ten,

the person that you actually thought you wanted, that you were chasing after and pining after that whole time, when you start to shift the energy back into you, you'll realize that you didn't even really want them as much as you thought you did. you just wanted their attention. But when you can give that attention to yourself, you really start to see people for who they are.

And if they're really able to rise to meet you, if they're really this amazing person or not. And sometimes they are. Sometimes they do rise to meet you and sometimes you end up together because it was meant to be, right? And they're a great person. But sometimes the reason you really want them

is to fulfill a part of your ego and to fulfill a part of yourself where you're trying to fill a void. Nine times out of 10, if you really love yourself enough, you're going to realize that it wasn't ever about them. It was always about just trying to get to the greatest version of you. It's uncomfortable. It's an uncomfortable process. There was a situation recently where I was really interested in someone. They were interested in me as well,

but it almost felt like I got swept up more for a hot minute, especially when intimacy is involved and like you just, as a woman, you just feel like once you sleep with someone, there is like an energetic tie there, right? So for me, I was like a little bit all over the place about it. And I was like, oh my God. And I got a little bit shaken up out of my own energy because of those chemicals. Once I grounded myself a little bit,

and honestly, I had to do a couple meditations because I was just like, oh my God. For me, you know, sex is a very sacred thing. Like I don't just do that with anyone. So for me, it was like, it kind of rattled my nervous system a little bit. especially when I do make that decision with someone, it's not really a decision I make often. So I was like, oh, my God, a little bit shaken up. And it taught me a lot about how energy really works.

Once again, it was just a really solid reminder of how energy works. So when you're having an energy exchange with someone and it's like a sexual energy exchange, for a second, it felt like I had given a little piece of my energy away. And I felt a little off balance and I just didn't feel it was just a little bit, it was a little bit challenging for me. And once I came back to myself and I meditated and I got a really good sleep and I just went back into my energy and I went back into the portal of lists, I was like, okay, I'm back, I'm fine. All is well. But energy is real and your energy is sacred and you're a very powerful sacred person. If you're watching this right now, I know you found me for a reason. You're a very

powerful person and you have a very strong life force. You just have to be aware of where you're giving your energy and attention, where you're putting it out. And if you choose to be with someone, if you choose to get into a relationship with someone or you choose to be intimate with someone, that's amazing. But you have to make sure it's the right partnership and the right person that will allow you to recharge and rebalance and be in your divine feminine goddess energy, especially if you're a woman listening to this. If you're a man listening to this, sorry, you might not, you might not resonate with this part of the episode. But it really can apply to anyone. When we're in a partnership, we are naturally going to give a little bit of our energy to someone else, but it should always

feel mutual. We're able to leave that situation and still feel like yourself and still feel like you and you don't feel like they drained you or sucked your life force away. And I've been in a lot of situations in my 20s where I dated people who sucked my life force. And I can confidently say the one relationship that taught me so much about that, being with the right person, let's focus on the positives. My second boyfriend, we traveled the world together. We had amazing times together. And he was my creative partner and my best friend. And he actually gave me more life force. A lot of the time, I felt more energized around him. I felt more inspired. I felt more creative. He pushed me to be the best version of myself most of the time. And that taught me what a relationship should really

look like. It should be you feeling more charged, more magnetic, more lit up when you're around someone. Not drained, not confused, not anxious, not questioning where you stand all the time because that's leaking your power. That's leaking your beautiful, radiant goddess power and energy. And we don't want that. Especially in this day and age, it's time to protect your energy and your peace. And by doing so you're going to manifest better, you're going to attract better, and you're naturally going to raise your vibration to pull in everything that you've ever wanted. The other thing about getting everything you've ever wanted and living in certainty is I read this metaphor and it's really funny, but it's also just to explain to you what it's like, just to really paint the

picture for you of what it's like to be desperate and like block your manifestations, block your blessings, okay? And this is something that we've all done before. If you're constantly checking on something for it to appear, for it to manifest, it's not going to manifest because that means you're operating from a place of I don't have it. And when you operate from that vibration, you can't receive it. You're not a vacuum. You're literally pushing it out of your field more and more. The more you check on it, the more you wait on it, the more you grab at it, you're pushing it further out of your field. You know that you live in a house, right? I'm sure if you're watching this right now, you're somewhere. You're probably in your house or you're at the gym, whatever, but let's just

be simple for a second. Most of you are probably in your house right now. You're in your house. You know you have a roof over your head. You know where you're sleeping at night for the most part, okay? You know where you're sleeping at night. That feels certain to you, right? You have a bed. That feels certain to you. You are going to drink water at some point in the day to hydrate yourself. That feels certain to you, right? The sky is blue when you wake up in the morning. That is certain to you. Think about the things that are absolutely fucking 100% certain to you.

That's the same feeling you should have about what you're asking for. It's that level of certainty. So let's just say you're in your house and you go take a drive to the grocery store. You're not turning around and making U-turns and driving back to your house to make sure your house is still there. Because you know that you own the house. It's your house. it's not going anywhere. You're not frantically thinking, oh my God,

am I going to drink water today? Am I going to drink water today? Because you know that you're going to drink water. You're not thinking frantically of these certainties because they're so grounded and cemented in your reality uncertain. That is the same feeling you have to have about what you're asking for. And when you put it like that, it is kind of crazy. Like when I framed it like that for myself, I was like, oh.

So that's how confident I have to be. about what I want. It's almost like you're not even thinking about it because it's just so natural to you. And when you really frame it like that, it makes it a lot easier to let go and detach from what you're asking for, my opinion. It becomes a part of your routine,

who you are, your identity. It's your self-concept being upgraded. You're just like, yeah, it's done. It's happening for me. Of course they love me. Of course they want me. Of course I'm making an extra 5K this week. Of course this person is going to offer me that job.

Of course, of course. And so it is, it is going to offer me that job. it is, right? So it has to be that level, that feeling. The sky is blue. I'm drinking water today. I have a house. I have a bed to sleep in. It's that level of certainty. And I'm going to leave you with this, okay? You have to cement your self-worth like it's fucking in the concrete. Like you have to be so unwavering in this new identity that people are going to bend to you. Because once again, everything is happening up here in your mind and being projected in the 3D. There is only you.

Everything and everyone that's happening all around you is you and your consciousness being reflected to you. Everyone is you pushed out. Everything has you pushed out. So when your self-worth upgrades, your reality is going to upgrade naturally. Self-worth is not a temporary emotional mood. It's an identity. It's who you are.

It's a refusal to let anything that's making you feel. like you're not the best version of yourself into your field. It's the refusal to accept breadcrumbs and you know inconsistency and people who don't see your worth. Okay, goodbye. Not a part of the new timeline. I refuse to settle for anything less than what I know I deserve. I dated a guy. We went out a couple of times and then he left me on the street before my Uber got there by myself so he could go to the gym. And that was a done deal for me. That was such a clear indication. that I was still not operating where I needed to be with my self-concept and my self-worth and who I was as a woman. Because when that happened to me, I felt that fire.

I felt that switch in me where I was like, absolutely fucking not. It's time to raise the bar even more for myself. It was an experience that made me realize that I needed to be more firm in who I was as a woman. And what I would and would not tolerate because that to me was very disrespectful. He left me on the side of the road in a neighborhood that I was unfamiliar with so he could go to the gym and I had to call my own car home to get home. In that moment, I felt like a fool standing there waiting for a car for 15 minutes just like alone. It just felt very weird to me. And it just felt like in that moment, the universe was like you've got to upgrade yourself.

You've got to cement and yourself worth more or less. Like, that is unacceptable behavior from anyone. My friends would never do that to me, let alone a man that I was potentially going to date or see. So it was really interesting to experience that and then have the courage and feel that fire me to be like, absolutely not. This is a moment in time where I'm just going to continue to rise and raise my standards and elevate my self-concept even more. Obviously, we're all human and we go through experiences. and the whole point of this is to also grow and learn, right? And I'm grateful for everything that I ever go through

because it's always a learning experience and an opportunity to become an even greater version of you, to become an even better version of yourself. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of LIS. Thank you guys so much as always for listening to the podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave a comment on Spotify, leave a thumbs up on YouTube, share it with a friend, share it on your stories. I read all of your comments. I see everything you share.

and it's so appreciated and it makes me so excited to keep creating for you guys. Thank you so much as always. I love you and stay tuned for future episodes.