Date Yourself Instead - How to heal from a heartbreak (SUMMER EDITION)

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

How to heal from a heartbreak / breakup, just in time for summer.Summer is here, and I don't want you spending another season obsessing over someone who isn't choosing you, stalking their social media, rereading old texts, or putting your life on hold waiting for closure that may never come.dare to detach: https://stan.store/lyssboss/p/daretodetachfollow me on Instagram: @lyssbusiness inquiries: [e-mail]

So on today's episode, we're going to be talking about how to heal from a heartbreak. I know a lot of you guys are going through breakups right now. I don't know what's in the air. But a lot of you guys are going through breakups in particular. And I see that a lot of people are searching my breakup episodes. So I wanted to make a new episode about this and refresh the content and actually add new lessons I've learned, talk about some of the new experiences I've been through. And also just help you guys and help you navigate heartbreak before we really. dive into summer because who wants to be heartbroken during summer? Summer is supposed to be the time

of our lives. It's the best time of year. I don't want you walking around this summer, sad and heartbroken. So I am committed to making this episode as amazing as possible. So you can replay it, have it on repeat, and I can remind you of your worth and your power while you're navigating this season of maybe a breakup you didn't expect or a separation you didn't expect. And maybe it threw you for a If you know someone who's currently going through a breakup or going through a hard time in a relationship right now, be sure to send them this episode because it will help you navigate it. I promise you it's going to help. Let me be your guide. I'm going to get you out of this heartbreak and into a really powerful mindset. Where you leave this episode reminded of your worth, I'm going to instill all the self-love energy back into you. Okay? I'm sending you all the self-love energy, all the good vibes so you can leave this episode feeling a lot better.

hopefully wherever you are in the world. Also remember, as I said, drop a comment on Spotify to connect with me, connect with my energy. I want you guys to feel like the best version of yourself. So drop a comment and share this with a friend. Now let's just dive right in. First things first, you need to go no contact.

I'm just going to give it to you straight. Number one is you need to go absolutely zero contact. No contact is key when you are navigating a breakup or a separation with someone. if you know that the situation is no longer serving your highest good, if you feel like a shitty version of yourself right now, you need to cut the cord and you need to go no contact. And the best way to do this is doing a cord cutting meditation on repeat. And that's also why I created my masterclass dare to detach.

It's the most popular master class of mine. Literally every single one of you who has gone through a serious breakup has already accessed and downloaded this course. If you are looking to cord cut and reclaim your power and move on, as quickly as possible, I need you to invest in cord cutting and understanding what this means. When we are very invested in someone else and we've been in a relationship and we've been in contact with someone for a very long time, we can get attached. We can get energetically attached to them.

And we create these energetic cords that are tied to this other person, to this other human being. When we sever those cords energetically, we reclaim our power and we're able to take our power back. And we're able to get our energy back from this person. That is why I always do cord cuttings. Your energy is precious. Your energy is sacred.

And especially if you are going through a breakup with someone and you know that they were very toxic for you, you most likely have energetic cords attached to them. So what I want you to do is, first of all, stop contacting them, stop texting them and begging them and chasing them down if you're currently going through a separation period. And you know deep down in your core this person is not aligned with you. you need to cut the cord and go no contact. No contact is the hardest thing to do, especially if you were used to being in contact

with this person every single day. But at the end of the day, if you want to be the best version of yourself, have a major glow up, reclaim your power, and really figure your shit out and figure your life out to become the best version of you, you need to be brave enough to cut the cords and stop talking to this person

that is draining your energy. The link to my most popular course, Dare to Detach, is in the show notes on the podcast. If you go down to the show notes under this episode, you will find the link to all of my masterclasses and you will find the link to Dare to Detach. So if you really need help cord cutting immediately, go download the masterclass right now.

I promise you it's the biggest game changer. It's helped thousands of people cord cut immediately overnight and reclaim their power. I'm just going to warn you, your ex will probably. come back if you take this course. Do not fall for the trap. Do not go back. Do not go back. The whole purpose of this course is to reset your energy, make you feel in your power and reclaim all of that energy that you were giving to this other person. That's the point of the course.

That's just a little warning and a preface. I want you to download Dairy Detach if you are looking to really be serious about moving on detaching and reclaiming your power. I get a lot of messages to, oh, I'm in no contact right now with my ex. But, it's their birthday coming up and it's Halloween coming up and it's Christmas coming up. Do I send them, you know, happy holidays? No, you don't send them anything. You go no contact because your energy is valuable. And any little leak, any little text, any little energy directed towards that person

that's not right for you is resetting the clock on your healing process. You need to remind yourself of your worth and your power and your standards and the woman that you are or the man that you are. Okay, there are men that listen to that are currently going through. heartbreak. I just met someone in a cafe this morning and we were chatting about breakups and relationships. He was telling me a girl ended things with him and cut it off and he was, you know, dealing with that and dealing with the emotions that came with that. We all go through it, okay? We all have experienced this feeling, this gut-wrenching feeling where you're

like, I don't know how to live right now. Like, I was in love with this person and my life feels like it's over and I'm in so much pain. We've all been there, okay? Unless you're a narcissist, because if you're a narcissist, you have no empathetic filter at all and you're just fucking nuts. And I've dated people like that. But if you're an empathetic normal human being with emotions and feelings, both men and women have this where you feel like you'll never meet anyone better. You're in a lot of pain and you go through these feelings of grief. Texting them on a special occasion on their birthday is a no-no.

Okay? We're not doing that unless you think you are so emotionally grounded and stable and confident and over it and you've moved on entirely and you want to be nice and you could be friends with that person. It's very situational. If you can do that, if you can handle it and you know that there are no feelings attached, go for it. But I think if you're watching this right now, that's not the case. So you've got to go no contact. That's rule number one on healing from a heartbreak. Next thing a lot of you ask me, number two. Rule number two is block. Now, I'm a blocker. My friends laugh at me because they know me for this.

And some people will say, oh, that's immature. I don't want to block. It's petty. I only block if I know for a fact that my intuition is right about someone and they don't have pure intentions with me and what they're trying to do. If they're trying to get access to my life just to get access, if they've cheated on me, if they've betrayed me, if they've disrespected me or crossed a major line or boundary of mine, I block. I block to protect my peace. I don't block out of anger. I don't block out of,

you know, bitterness. I don't block out of anything that's like malicious. I would never block someone. I've ended things on good terms with many people. The only reason I ever block now is if it's bad energy infiltrating my system. I don't want to see someone's posts. I don't want to give them access to my field. This is a personal thing. I need it to protect my peace. That's just who I am. And if it makes you feel better and it makes you feel like you've created an energetic wall or boundary because you know otherwise you may look at their stuff or you don't want them having access to your stuff. I think it's a fine move. Once again, I only block someone if I feel like a huge boundary has been crossed and I don't want to interact or I don't want to see their stuff and I don't want them to see mine. Blocking to me is not always

necessary. It's only necessary if you feel like there's an energy cord attached. If you feel like there's an energy cord attached, If you feel like you're not going to be strong enough to not watch their stories, to not engage with them, to not stalk them, to not see who they're following, to see if they're watching your stories. If you don't feel strong enough, I wouldn't interact with them on social media at all. Because in real life, right, forget the phones for a second. Before there were phones, before there was Instagram and all that stuff. You couldn't see someone if you broke up, like unless you drove to their house, unless you bumped into them by chance physically, somewhere out, right? So I look at blocking is that. It's like if there was no digital world to see me to access me,

also to be fair, I have a very public career and I'm very public online. So I have my own viewpoints on blocking. I just don't want you looking at my stuff. I don't want you looking at what I'm doing. I don't want you looking at my career stuff. I just don't want that energy in my field. But I look at it like this, right? We live in a digital world now.

But before phones, you wouldn't see that person ever again anyway. So I just look at it as like a cleanse, an emotional hygiene and a detox. It's like, I don't want to see you. You don't want to see me. And honestly, if it's meant to be, you'll eventually unblock each other and work your way back together if it was really meant to be. But if you're trying to heal, if you're trying to fundamentally heal and detox and let go and move on, and you don't feel strong enough where you know you're going to check their stuff, you know you're going to see their content and it's going to trigger you and affect you, I think blocking is an okay move.

Not everyone's going to agree with this, but this is, my podcast and this is my experience and what I think actually helps. So yeah, now that we've done all of that, we've cleared the energetic space. I need you to stop romanticizing people's potential, okay? The person that you were dating or seeing, were you romanticizing their potential of who they could be and how they could show up for you? Were they actually an amazing person that gave you the world that showed you everything? And you guys had this like really amical breakup because I can actually understand. It's harder when someone's a good person and you know that their intentions were pure. But if you're grieving someone that treated you badly and like shit, what are you actually

losing? You're going to gain your peace back eventually. Obviously, it's really hard when you're going through the aftermath of a breakup and you're going through the motions and you're detoxing. It's initially going to feel really hard and painful. That's human. That's normal to feel grief. It's normal to feel sad. Give yourself grace. But really look at it objectively. Were you really losing anything if you were being treated badly? Are you romanticizing this person? Be honest with yourself. Were you romanticizing any part of the relationship that you knew could have been way better? You knew you deserved better. You knew you deserve better. You knew you deserve to be treated a certain way and you weren't receiving that. But yet you've placed them on this fucking golden pedestal

saying that they were doing and saying all these things when they really weren't. And you were lying to yourself. There was an ex-boyfriend of mine. I always said, we never fight. We never fight. He's just so calm and he's so nice to me and he treats me so well because we never fight. And I would always place him on this pedestal to other people and speak so highly of him and tell people how much he respected me because he never yelled at me and he never raised his voice. When first of all, that's the bare fucking minimum. Why was I so excited that he was like not yelling at me? The second thing was I was ignoring all of the red flags. I was looking at all the positives and seeing him in this golden light where he was like, always trying to make me happy and never was.

wanted to fight with me, but yet I was having dreams all the time that he was cheating on me and I was always anxious and the only reason we never thought is because he would silence me if I tried to fight. So I was romanticizing this idea of never fighting with my partner yet. The reason I wasn't fighting with him is because I was being silenced by my own intuition from him, right? So we have to get honest with ourselves, people, okay? If you're romanticizing their potential, that's not them. You have to see people at face value when you are dating. In this day and age, take people at face value if they are showing up for you, how they're showing up for you, how they're respecting you, how they're listening to you, how they're providing for you emotionally, spiritually,

physically. Stop looking at people through rose-colored glasses where you're like, oh, but I see how amazing they could be if this, this, this. There's no if, there's no buts. It's who they are. It's who they are showing you right now. The other thing that I do teach is that everyone is your mirror, right? Everyone is you pushed out. That's something I've mentioned a lot. Yes, that is true. That is true. But that still doesn't give people the right to treat you poorly, to treat you badly. The only reason you're in that situation right now is because there's a part of you that feels unworthy of being treated right. It's always important to self-reflect and be self-aware and look within. If someone's treating you badly, how can you improve yourself to level up, to know your worth, and be brave enough to walk away?

attract someone that's going to treat you right. The next thing is something me and one of my best friends talked about the other day on the phone. I noted it because I really wanted to make sure that I talked about it on this episode. The whirlwind feeling of being with someone initially is amazing, right? That feeling that rush, that dopamine high that you get when you have a crush, when you like someone new. In the beginning of a relationship, it's the best feeling in the world. And it's addicting, right? It's so addicting because it feels so good and you feel like the world is like rainbows and sparkles and butterflies because you've met someone that you get along with and you connect and maybe you have like great sex or whatever it is, okay?

But that all dies. That all fades away. And what you're left with is always the truth of someone's character and how consistent they are with you. If their character is consistent, that is how you know if someone's right for you. So when you're going through this heartbreak and you're going through a breakup, was that person consistent with their character? Were they consistent in showing up for you the way you needed them to be in any given situation good or bad?

In sickness and health, right, when we get married, that's part of the vows. Is that person going to show up for you when you're at your lowest, when you're not feeling well, when times get tough? Because that's the person that you need to be with. Not someone that's going to abandon you at your lowest. Not someone that isn't there for you in hard times. Consistency and character is the most attractive thing in the world to me. and also it shows you who someone really is. Something happened to me recently with someone

where I was having a couple of days I felt so fucking anxious and I told this person I was dealing with anxiety and they're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, talk to me, talk to me. So I was like I'd rather talk in person about it, not over text. Like I don't want to start talking about my feelings over text message but the door's open, right?

And it would take five minutes to have a conversation with me about something that I'm feeling as a woman, right? We just want to feel cared about. It's not that hard. It's really not that hard. Even as a friend, I would be there for someone in a second if I could. If it was physically possible and they were like, listen, I'm going through a really hard time. I need a few minutes to chat.

No problem. I'd be there in a heartbeat or get on the phone with someone, right? So I'm just like, you're going to try to come see me. Okay, fine. Disappears. Then he said he lost his phone. I don't know what's true. If it's true, great.

If he lost his phone, great. never offered again to see me, to check in on me. And even as a friend, even a stranger, okay, I've had strangers treat me better. I've had strangers actually show up for me better than this person. So I'm like, you know what, this isn't for me, obviously. And then you look at someone and you're like, it can't be. It can't be that they really don't care like that, right? It's like, it can't be. Maybe there's a misunderstanding. Maybe there is a miscommunication. Even so, it just wasn't in alignment with how I work emotionally and how I feel emotionally. And I was like, you know what?

I wish you the best, but this just isn't going to work for me because it made me more anxious. That made me more anxious to have someone disappear after I said I was anxious. I was like, holy shit, this is crazy. Anyways, I'm a grown up, you know, I'm a woman. I can handle my own emotions. I didn't need anyone to come talk to me, but I think it's the principle, if anything. And the whole point of what I'm saying is I could have made a million excuses for why that happened the way it did.

justify his behavior and convince myself into this idea of, oh, it wasn't like that. He didn't mean it like that. But regardless, it doesn't matter because it's just not going to work for me. You can't throw potential onto someone. You have to take people at what they're showing you. And if they choose to show up differently next time and change and apologize and evolve, great. But always take people for who they are and observe. Don't get overly reactive about it, but just observe.

and think about what you truly deserve and what you want. And if it's not working for you, be brave enough and bold enough and strong enough to walk away. The next thing is, if you're feeling like you are so tempted to reach out to this person, and you're so tempted because you're having a really rough day and you're very emotional and you need someone to talk to, write down five other people you can contact and text them instead.

Text them what you want to say to that person to them instead. Write it in your notes app. Text yourself. Speak to yourself in the mirror. Whenever I ask my dad for advice, he's always like, tell yourself the problem. Talk to yourself. Talk it out with yourself. Or call me or call your mom or call your brother, whatever it is.

Like, just don't fucking call that person if you're trying to heal. It's just not going to help. It's going to reopen the wound. Call a friend. Call anyone else. Text anyone else. Make a list of people that you can go to if you are tempted to reach out to that person. Super helpful.

And the closer I've gotten with my girlfriends, it's been. so helpful to have people around me that can walk me through my feelings and we're always there for each other. And that's the beauty about building friendships and good female friendships. I never had good friends really young in my life growing up. I had a few, but then we kind of all went our separate ways. I recently, over the last two years, have met so many amazing women that I know I could trust and go to in case anything, you know, happens with a guy or happens in dating or happens with heartbreak. Having a good network around you, having a good community around you aside from that person is key.

Joining a new club group activity, changing up your routine and your environment, investing in something new. I joined a new gym, joined a running club when I was going through my heartbreak. I hired a personal trainer. I was investing and taking care of my mind, body, soul in new ways and meeting new people and forcing myself out of my house and out of my bed. And it really does help. The next thing is love isn't always enough.

Love is the most powerful frequency in the world, but it's not always enough when it comes to compatibility and being with someone for the long term. You can love someone, but it just isn't working or the timing is off or you're on two totally different pages of life or communication styles and parenting styles, whatever it is. There's so many layers and factors to how a relationship should work. And once again, this ties back to consistency. feelings and love and feeling those butterflies in the beginning of a relationship are amazing. And it's important, right? Chemistry is super important. But compatibility comes from consistency.

And if you're both consistent enough to show up for each other time and time again, the same way your best friend can show up for you consistently, is the same way your partner should show up for you consistently. It shouldn't be hot and cold energy or mixed signals or anxiety all the time or waves of highs and lows. How are you going to spend the rest of your life with someone that makes, you feel like you never know where you stand. Like you're always walking on eggshells, like you're always confused. You're always decoding them.

It's exhausting, right? It's exhausting and it's draining and it's taking you off of your path and the path that God has set out for you. It's not healthy. What's healthy is consistency and knowing that someone is predictable, knowing that someone will show up for you time and time again, and you can trust them in doing so. It was also really hard for me to acknowledge that love isn't always enough with someone that I met here in Bali two years ago, I think it was. And I think I spoke about him on the podcast once

in an episode. He was like a best friend to me. We had conversations for hours and hours and hours and I loved him. I actually loved him. I think I loved him as a person. I loved his heart. He was a good person. There was just a constant miscommunication with him and misunderstandings with him and friction in that way that ended up not being healthy because what ended up happening was every time we would try to meet up. One of us flaked. And then I would try to see him and he would disappear. And then he would try to see me and I pulled back. And it was always this inconsistent dynamic where we just could never get on the same page timing wise. But I know we both had feelings for each other. And I don't think I expressed how I felt enough. I don't think he expressed how we felt enough. There were just so

many like assumptions that we made about each other. It was so frustrating because I knew we both loved each other and cared about each other and wanted the best for each other, but it was just too much friction, too many misunderstandings. I was talking to my sister-in-law about it recently and I was like tearing up because I was like, it's so frustrating when you love the shit out of someone, but you know that it's just not going to work or it can't work, at least for right now, still, it just can't work. Maybe it could work later on in the future. But there was just always something that felt blocked. And it was so fucking frustrating for me. And it was really hard for me to deal with because I felt like he was my best friend,

but so distant and disconnected for me at the same time. Ugh. And I'm like, why? Like, why can I just date him? Why can't I date him? I love him. Like, I do love him. He was my best friend.

It felt like he was someone that I could see myself spending so much time with, having adventures with, having amazing memories with. If I saw him now, like, face to face, I feel like nothing would have changed as far as our connection. like we would have an amazing time together. So I don't know what's going to be with that. But it reminds me of this, right? Sometimes love isn't enough.

There's so many layers and factors and components and timing and maturity and evolution and two people in order for it to really work. And when it works, it works and it's easy. Or at least I hope that it's easy. But yeah, it's just interesting and it's something to note. And it's something that you shouldn't beat yourself up about long term. Because if you trust in God's plan for you in divine timing and that everything is happening for you and not working against you

and everything really does happen for a reason, it's easier to let go. And I had to trust with that person that it's either not the right time or it's divine protection and there's a reason why it didn't work out. Maybe there's a reason I wasn't seeing clearly. It is what it is.

It is what it is. It was hard to move on from. But I also learned to let go and trust that if it was really meant to be, it would be. And that's it. The next thing is really reconnecting with your own values and what you stand for and what you need in your future relationships,

moving forward and what valuable positive feedback and lessons can you take from this breakup, from what you're currently going through, from this heartbreak. If you could look at the positives, what would the positives be? If you could write them down, I want you to get out your notes app, get out a pen and paper, journal on it and write, what have I learned from this experience that I would never bring into future relationships, that I would never tolerate from another person moving forward in my next relationship if I do end up dating someone again? What are your non-negotiables?

What do you actually stand for? what are your truest values? What are your boundaries? How do you want to be loved? How do you want to feel? How do you want your future partner to treat you and show up for you? You have to think in abundance when it comes to a breakup because if that person was treating you badly, if you were always upset, stressed, anxious, worried with this person, there has to be a better situation out there for you. If you are a good person with a good heart and you have good intentions, you know this about yourself. There has to be someone out there in this world that will give you what you deserve. That also has a good heart that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Period. So it's time to stop thinking in that

lack mindset of like, oh my God, I'm never going to find anyone. No, you're going to find someone better. Better suited for your heart. Better suited for you that will take care of you that you won't have to train, that you won't have to teach how to love you properly. The right person will show up for you when you start becoming the right person for yourself and really standing firm on your boundaries and your values and your standards. And the last thing I'm going to leave you with is the most important piece of the puzzle, okay? Instead of looking at everyone else's potential and this person's potential and what the relationship could have been and how they could have showed up for you, start falling back in love with your own potential and your own self-love and

pour into your own cup. Look at your own potential and what you're capable of. Fall in love with you and yourself and your life and your life you truly love and the right people will always rise to meet you and the right people will always find you when you. you build a life you truly love. Start working on your passion projects. Start doing things for you. Create a new business. Create a new life for yourself. Use this time to rebuild yourself. Build a new future for yourself. Shift the timeline. Go from being heartbroken to the most powerful version of you. Every heartbreak I've been through, every loss, betrayal, every shitty fucking situation that I've been through, I've been able to rise higher and higher and become more

powerful from every situation, every single one. Every single situation has taught me more about myself, more about what I want, more about my strength, my power. That's what this is going to be for you too. Okay. This is a massive timeline upgrade into the best fucking version of you, period. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of lists. Thank you guys so much as always for listening to the podcast. I love you guys so much. Play this episode anytime you, need a little bit of a reminder of how to reclaim your power and to heal from a heartbreak. Be sure to leave a comment on Spotify. Download the masterclasses.

The link is in the show notes as well as on my Instagram, Atlas Boss. And you could send me a message on my other Instagram, my more personal Instagram. Atlas, L-Y-S-S, super easy. It's just my name. Be sure to share this episode on your stories with a friend. Leave a comment. I see everything. I appreciate everything.

I love you. Sending you all the best vibes and stay tuned for future episodes.