Date Yourself Instead - How to stop procrastinating - babe, it's time to get your sh*t together and WAKE UP.

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

It's time to stop stalling your dream life and get the ball rolling. Here's an episode with some tough love, and a wake up call to you, but also to MYSELF. Can't wait for our goals to be accomplished together. I love you xxIf you enjoyed this episode, please share it and drop a comment below on Spotify and message me on instagram @lyss @dateyourselfinstead.DOORS CLOSING ON THE COURSES!JOIN MY MASTERCLASSES BELOW.Use code goldenaura at checkout for an exclusive discount.⁠⁠⁠⁠Dare to Detach⁠⁠⁠⁠ - cut the energy cords now and step into your power⁠⁠⁠⁠Mind Body Soul Reset⁠⁠⁠⁠ - heal yourself from the inside out With love and light,Lyss

It's time to wake up. You're not stuck. You're just stalling because you're addicted to almost becoming the person of your dreams. The almost feeling. You're addicted to the almost because you know you're capable of getting there. You know you're capable of fulfilling your passions and your dreams and becoming the greatest version of you, but you're just addicted to the almost pattern. Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Date Yourself Instead. Good morning from sunny, beautiful London. It's been a week of sunshine here. It's been such a gift, such a joy to experience London in summer weather. It really is so incredible.

I'm so grateful every single day I wake up. I've been getting my steps in, getting my vitamin D in. I was very inspired this morning for today's episode to talk about this concept of procrastination. Over the last 30 days, I've been procrastination. quite a bit. I've been writing a book. I've been writing a book and actually been procrastinating, working on it and getting shit done and getting the ball rolling with it. On today's episode, I'm going to be covering why you need to wake the fuck up because you're not stuck. You're just stalling yourself from your greatest potential, mostly because I just went through it. And this is

also a wake-up call for myself. So let's get into it. By the way, before we really die, into today's episode. I want to mention two things. If you are interested in a book, if you're excited about the book, leave a comment on Spotify to show me your interest. It would really help me actually get a little motivated and get the ball rolling with it. It's a project I've been working on for the last year and a half. And it's something that I've been a little bit scared to put out, scared to work on. And I think it's a very relatable thing when we're diving into a new industry, when we're diving into a new chapter of our lives or a new passion project, we could start to procrastinate because we doubt our potential and we doubt what we're actually capable of.

So if you're interested in the book, leave a comment. It would be so appreciated. Also, if you haven't already, be sure to follow the podcast on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts if you haven't followed already. It will help the show grow and get better and better. And it will help the show become exposed to more people. Your support, your follows and your love and your comments is always greatly appreciated. The other last thing I'm going to mention is my masterclass is Dare to Detach and the Mind, Body, Soul Reset. These two masterclasses are the ultimate game changer, the ultimate combination to uplevel to rise, to transform, to completely break old cycles, toxic patterns, and let go of toxic relationships, toxic people, and cut those energetic cords so you could step into abundance and manifest and step into your dream life.

those masterclasses are no longer going to be available after June. They are open for the next month. Doors are open for the next month. Then they will no longer be available in the format that they're in. A lot of things are changing. The doors are closing for good on these specific courses, and they're no longer going to be available. Dare to Detach.

We've had so much incredible success with this master class. People have been able to let go of the most difficult relationships and manifest their specific person back in just days. But the thing is, they don't even want them back because they're so detached and so evolved and so free. Dare to Detach is designed to help you get over someone and cut the cord in just four days or less. There are people that have downloaded Darede Detach and within two days have manifested people

back into their life. The beauty is you're in your power. You've changed. You've evolved literally overnight because of the meditations, because of the exercises, and because you've made the decision to really detach, it's literally magic. The Mind, Body, Soul, Reset is a master class that works in addition to dare to detach. This is for your physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional glow up to become unstoppable and to actually radiate that golden aura that I mentioned on the podcast a lot.

The golden aura is when you are vibrating at such a different frequency because you've healed, you've become magnetic, you love yourself so deeply. That master class covers that as well as how to follow your passion, how to step into your power more and really follow your sold calling. These two masterclasses combined are now on sale for an incredible discount. You could use the code Golden Ora at checkout for an insane discount. Remember, doors are closing permanently on both of these masterclasses. These masterclasses are not going to be available after June 19th. I repeat, they are not going to be available anymore after June 19th, so I highly recommend you act on it. Grab them now, access them now. You could download the

masterclasses and the bundle on sale using the code golden aura at checkout. You could go to the link in the podcast show notes or go to my Instagram at date yourself instead at list. The masterclasses are also linked on both of my Instagram accounts as well. I cannot wait to see you there. If you have any questions, you could always send me a DM on Instagram at list or on the podcast account at date yourself instead. And now let's dive in to today's episode.

You're not stuck. You're not stagnant. Okay. you're not blocked from your destiny. Stop telling yourself that you're too tired. You don't have the energy. Things are slow. Things aren't moving.

The more you give yourself that identity and that narration of your life, the more you narrate your life that way, that things are stuck, slow, stagnant, the more it will manifest that way. Everything you tell yourself, everything you narrate about your life holds truth because the power of the word is everything. Stop choosing comfort over your destiny and your greatness.

I know you're comfortable right now. If you're listening to this, you have a specific goal. It may be bigger than you could even grasp because your dreams are so big. And that's a beautiful thing. But it could often seem so overwhelming because right now you feel like you're nowhere close to it. You feel like you're starting from scratch from zero. You're like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to accomplish this?

The thing is, you're overthinking it. You're just waiting for the perfect moment to start. You're waiting for the right opportunity. You're always in waiting mode. The key is to just take the first step. Just take the first step. That's all you have to do. You don't have to tackle a million things at once. You don't have to go from zero to 100 and try to manifest this overnight in 24 hours. You have to take it one step at a time. And the biggest thing you could do for yourself right now, the most important thing you could do for yourself right now is just start. Take the first step no matter how small it is. someone else with half your talent and half of your credentials is already doing what you want to be doing because they're not waiting around to be ready. They're not addicted to the almost of it. They're just doing it.

The key is to just do and operate from this mentality of I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how long it's going to take, but it doesn't matter because I'm just going to take the first step and see what happens. And usually when you take the first step, it's a snowball effect. where you start to get more inspired because it starts to get the momentum going. It gets the momentum going. It gets the energy moving towards your future, towards your destiny, towards the goal, okay? Someone else, let me repeat that. Someone else with half your credentials that isn't as talented as you that doesn't know what the fuck they're doing is already dominating the goal that you're trying to accomplish,

getting ahead in the space that you're trying to get ahead in and moving towards your goal and your destiny, because they're not thinking too deeply into it. They're just moving and doing. The most successful people I know, they're not operating from a place of overthinking. They're literally just creating and doing and moving at all times. They get to their goals, not because they're more talented than anyone else,

but because they're more driven, they act faster. They just act. They don't think, oh, well, what if I fail? Or, oh, this is too difficult, I don't know. Or, oh, I'm too tired. I'll get to it tomorrow. They just do. and they move accordingly.

And they're not letting a little bit of doubt or a day where they have a little bit of low energy delay their destiny. When you look at it as your destiny and your calling, it's hard to shake. When you know in your bones that you're meant for something and it's in your DNA and in your cells and you know that it's there and you're like, I was made for this. I was made to do this. I was born to do this thing. I know this is built inside of me.

when you have that feeling and you finally find that feeling and that calling, it's really hard to stay stuck with this book that I've been writing and creating the proposal. I've stopped and stalled myself from my potential on getting it done so many times because there was a voice in my head saying, I don't think this is good. I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know if this is really what I'm supposed to be doing. I was letting just a little bit of doubt delay my future, delay the future goal, delay my destiny. And for what? Why am I letting myself block myself from my biggest blessings and my destiny just because of a little fear and doubt? When you have a new goal, a little bit of doubt can be normal. It's healthy because it's unfamiliar territory, okay? We're human beings.

It's okay to be a little nervous about a new goal or a new passion process. It doesn't mean it's not part of your destiny. It doesn't mean it's not right for you or not meant for you. It just means you're stepping into unfamiliar territory. You're jumping outside of your comfort zone to do something different. And that can feel unfamiliar. That can make you question if you're doing the right thing. When I started my podcast years ago, I really almost didn't even do it. I really didn't. And I've spoken about this on other episodes. If you've been listening for years, you know the story. I don't. delayed it for so long. I thought about doing a podcast for almost a year before I actually recorded the first episode and acted on it because I thought in my head, that's stupid. Everyone has a podcast. I don't want to be like everyone else. I feel like I don't even know what I'm going to talk about. I don't know the name of it. I don't know the topics. I don't know what guests I would have on. I was overthinking every part of it that I couldn't allow myself to see the bigger picture and act. I was just allowing myself to dwell on procrastination. I was also in a really toxic relationship that clouded my brain, clouded my judgment of my future, which was a whole other story. I really just was afraid to take the first step because it was such unfamiliar territory. So I thought it wasn't my destiny. I convinced myself that it wasn't a part of who I was and it wasn't meant for me. And instead of acting on it and getting into the studio and recording my first episode,

episode, I spent months dwelling in procrastination, dwelling in, frankly, no money, the concept of having no money and also not knowing what your passion is and what to do and you're feeling so stuck and frozen in your life. That era for me was so real because I was like, should I do it? Should I not? What should I do? How do I make money? How do I support myself? What are my passions? there was a two-year window, maybe three years of time where I didn't even know who I was, what I wanted to do, what I wanted to accomplish in my life. I felt so lost and stuck. I felt like I was constantly walking through mud or quicksand, however you want to visualize

it, where I felt like I had no meaning to my life. That's the worst feeling, okay? I get it. I've been there before the podcast. That's how I felt for years. and I had to force myself to start. I had to literally force myself because I had no other choice because I had no income. I had no way of making money.

I had no management team. I had no one helping me. I had to get up off my ass and help myself. No one was coming to save me at that time. I was hoping and praying and trying to manifest things and trying and pushing and forcing to get things done. No one else was coming to save me. save me. I really had to save myself in that moment in time. When I finally took the first step and recorded the first episode, my whole life changed overnight, my whole world changed because the first

episode, not really that many people listened to it. When I started, I didn't know what to expect, but I was like, oh my God, still, like, am I doing the right thing? But it was just that initial step that got the ball rolling, that got the energy moving, that got me, to where I am today, built this huge brand in under three years based off of that one moment where I finally flipped the switch in my brain and said, I can't live in the unknown anymore where I have no money. I have no purpose. I have no drive. I can't do this to myself anymore. I have to stop procrastinating and get my shit together. I made the conscious decision when I woke up one morning, I can't do this anymore. I need to do something. I need to take action. When I did,

It was like the fog lifted out of my brain. I was like, wait a second. I can't believe I didn't do this sooner. I was kicking myself. I was like, why didn't I do this sooner? I actually had so much fun recording the episode. And I got a rush and I really, really, really loved it. And I enjoyed it.

And I was like, damn, if I had just made that flip of a switch in my brain a year prior, I may have been way much further. But obviously, everything does happen in divine timing. We need to go through seasons of silence and procrastination. stagnation in order to take the action. I also do believe that. Okay. Just because you're procrastinating for months, for years, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. You're still on the right path. Okay. You cannot miss what's meant for you. Everything really happens in the perfect timing. So I just want to also add that in there. I'm just here to

motivate you, but at the same time, I want you to understand that seasons of stagnation and seasons of stalling are also a part of your plan. There's no reason to be hard on yourself or beat yourself up over procrastinating. But if this episode can inspire you to turn that switch on in your brain and change your mindset and actually get moving with your goals, that's what I'm here for. I was listening to a YouTube video this morning. It completely shifted my thinking and it also inspired this morning's episode. It was a YouTube video by Bashar. He was channeling how he manifest and the best way to manifest and get your life moving. And something he said stood out to me so much. It was this concept of needing. It's a need to work on your passions and be in the energy of your passions and embrace them

in order to attract the life you desire and in order to attract and manifest everything you've ever wanted out of life. You need to be in the constant flow of your passions, of your desires, and be creating at all times. Over the last couple of months, I have been feeling a little stuck. I'm like, what is going on? Why do I feel like things are not moving the way that I want them to move? And I feel like when I wake up in the morning sometimes, I'm like, I'm not as motivated as I usually am. What's going on? This video changed my brain chemistry. Basically, in order to actually be led to the right people, right situations, right places, in order to manifest everything we want, we need to be living out our passions. If you're procrastinating on your passions, it's going to

even further delay your blessings and other things that can come into your life. Think about a superstar like Taylor Swift. Okay. Taylor Swift, from the start of her career, has gone through so many different relationships. But how was she creating? What was she creating from? Right? She was going through these relationships, but she was creating and pursuing her passion of music. By pursuing music and writing songs and doing what she loved, it led her further to new people, a new record deal, new places, new opportunities, new experiences. That's how an artist opens the door for themselves. They create, they create music, art, and they put it out into the world, and then it's a snowball effect. You pursue your passion, you put art into the world, you put your music out into the world

or whatever you're creating, and then as it builds, as it compounds, as you climb the ladder of your success and you put out more of your passions and feed into your passion even more and more and more, it'll align you more and more and more with the right opportunities and the right places and you'll manifest your life accordingly based on what you want. Depends on what you want. But what she would do is she would write an album. That album led her to new experiences and new opportunities that led her to new places and new environments and new people. And then she met her new relationships, her new boyfriends, right? Through writing that other album, Travis, the man she's with now, she never would have met him. Hadn't she wrote all these other albums? I'm pretty sure they

met because he made her a friendship bracelet based off of a song she wrote based on her prior experiences without that album, maybe she wouldn't have been led to him and opened that door in that chapter of her life. If you are pursuing your passion at all times, that means you're living up to your greatest potential and what God wants you to do at all times. And when you're you're living in that flow state and you're pursuing your passion and doing what you've been called to do, it will inevitably open new doors and new opportunities for you at all times. And it'll put you on this path of constant abundance and flow and ease. You'll be able to always end up where you're supposed to end up and meet the people you're supposed to meet

and get what you're supposed to get out of life because you're always in your highest state. You're always in your highest potential. When you're in that state, you're going to always attract blessings and your manifestations at lightning speed because you're operating at your highest potential. So when you're procrastinating it and you're putting your passions off and you're not in that flow state, your manifestations will be blocked. When you focus on yourself and you bask in your passion, that's when the miracles happen. That's where the miracles happen. If you're procrastinating, that's why other things in your life aren't coming to fruition as fast. That's why things feel slow.

You're not fully aligned with the highest version of you. That's operating at your highest frequency because you're not fully aligning with your destiny. I know for me, procrastination comes from the addiction of feeling safe in the known. A part of you might just feel safe because anything unfamiliar, you're like, oh, I don't know if it's going to work out. So you just continue to play it small and you focus on what you know. Focusing on the podcast now for three years is all I know. So to write a book and to be working with publishers and possibly doing a tour and signing with a literary agent, all of these things feel so scary to me.

I don't know why. But it feels like a really big step for me personally because I'm like, Are people actually going to pick up my book in a bookstore? There's billions of books in the world. I'm like, are people going to read what I have to say? Is it going to be successful? There's a part of me that's like, of course, of course it is. But because it's unfamiliar territory, it makes me feel like I should hold back. Like, oh, I'll get to it soon. Oh, I'll put it off, but I'll get to it in a couple of weeks. The more you feed into that and the more you're like, oh, I'll just put it off for another day. I'll put it off for another week. That feeling will just Just keep going and it'll never go away until you cut the cycle and cut the cord and get real with yourself and say, this is spiritual suffocation. This is not good for me. I'm not living up to my highest potential. I need to take control of my life. No one's coming to save me.

I need to start acting on my greatest potential. There is nothing to fear. Life is short. If you know you have a gift, if you know you have things to put out, if you know you have the ability to do something great, you know. need to just take the leap of faith and go full force with it and do it. Even if it's scary, even if it feels unfamiliar. I made the conscious decision last night that I was done playing it small. I'm done playing it small with my life where I feel like I'm only good at certain things. I'm only skilled at certain things. Why not go big with everything? Why not try new things? Why not

push myself to do something new and different and scary outside of my comfort zone? Nothing amazing and innovative and exciting comes out of playing it's small and staying in the familiar in your comfort zone. Nothing amazing and great comes out of staying stuck in what you know. The biggest breakthroughs are always going to come when you have the courage to do new things and be innovative at all times. I've constantly had to reinvent myself over the last 15 years of my life. I used to be a travel blogger. I used to sing opera. I used to paint. I used to play volleyball. I used to ride horses. I would constantly try new things and reinvent myself in order to one, figure out what I was actually passionate about. And two, in order to get the most out of my life.

And yeah, there's going to be a lot of things when you put yourself out of your comfort zone. You're not going to enjoy and you're going to be like, yeah, this isn't for me. But at least you tried. At least you took the initial step. At least you did something different. and that led you somewhere else and that led you to something maybe that you did like, maybe a passion that you were excited about. The whole point is just to constantly take action. So you can really figure out what you're supposed to be doing and what you're supposed to be creating. Once you're in that state of passion and you figure it out, the world opens up and opportunities will start flowing to you. And life gets exciting and life gets fun because you're doing

things that you love to do. Another reason why we procrastinate often is because we're waiting for perfect conditions all the time. I'm really guilty of this, okay? When you're like, oh, I'll start when I feel better. I'll start when I have more energy. I'll start when I feel more focused or clear and more energized. I'm overwhelmed. That feeling will only keep coming because you're not taking the action. That feeling of being overwhelmed is because you're procrastinating. That feeling of fogginess and not feeling clear is because you're procrastinating. When you say things like, I'll start when I feel more ready to, or I'll start when I feel better, I'll start when I feel like it's the right time. That time doesn't exist. That time is an illusion, okay? You're just saying that so you could buy more time. What that does

is it kills your momentum. It kills the momentum of your future and what you're put here to do. And yeah, with this damn book, which is kind of funny that I'm recording this now because when it comes out, like, it's going to be incredible and I'm so excited about it. But it's also like, oh my God, why am I putting this off when I know that it's important? Even if I could help one person with this book, it's imperative that I act on it, that I get it out because it's a part. of my calling. It's a part of my mission. I don't know why. I feel like I've had to buy time with it. And what that does is it kills the momentum. It kills the excitement around it. So by the time you actually get to what you want to do after a year of procrastinating it, you're like, is this even worth it? That's just because you've procrastinated it for so long. And you've killed the excitement around it. So if you have a dream or a goal or a passion project that you've been putting off for so, long and you're feeling like, oh, I don't even know what the point of it is anymore. That's just your ego. That's just a thought that can easily be fixed once you actually get the ball rolling

again and dive in and actually commit to it. It's the flip of a switch in your brain. I want you to wake up tomorrow and say, I'm ready now. There's no more excuses. There's literally no more time to waste. It's happening right now. It starts right now. Acting on my potential and my greatness starts right now. The beauty about just moving and taking some sort of step is that nothing needs to be perfect. You can just start and it doesn't have to be perfect. Just do it. Do something. Basque in your imperfection knowing that it may not be exactly what you want it to be right now. Okay.

The key is to just move and move with intention and know that you're moving towards the goal and moving towards something. The other thing is overthinking, just overthinking your passion and overthinking, oh, like, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if it's going to be successful. You're overthinking everything and you're not acting. That's going to cage you in mentally and you're never going to start. You're just going to drown in your thoughts all day, every day. And I'm speaking from personal experience. I have overthought so many things around new parts of my career. I'm familiar with podcasting. I love being in the studio. I love recording. I'm good at it. But there's a part of me that overthinks every other piece of my career tied to the podcast. Not just the book,

okay? It's hosting events, hosting dinners, hosting retreats, planning meetings, scheduling things. It's just so much for my brain. I'm a really one-track mind type of person. Like if I'm focused on one thing. It's all I can really focus on. I'm not really a great multitasker. And that's why it's important for me. I know to start hiring and getting a team and getting things together. But I think one of my biggest things is overthinking everything else that's tied to the podcast. That's why a lot of things have felt slow and stuck and not moving. I'm like, well, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do that? How am I going to scale this? X, Y, Z. And then it just becomes this big jumbled mess in my brain. So the thing that I am working on, which I think is a really helpful tool, which has helped me so much, is setting a timer for 45 minutes to an hour and picking one task to work on.

Focusing solely on that one thing, turning your phone off, turning your notifications off, okay, tuning out the world and focusing on that one thing. And then when that's done, you move on to the next thing. And then when that thing's done, you move on to the next thing. just organizing your time better and then moving in a way that feels good to you. I know for me, this has just been really effective because if I don't have some sort of timing schedule and breaking things down into smaller pieces, it feels way too overwhelming for me to tackle. So by doing this, it makes things feel way less scary and way less bigger than they are. The next thing is we create identities for ourselves.

And if we're not operating from the identity of the person we want to become, it's really hard to get there. You can't expect different results in a different reality if you're still operating from the identity of someone who's afraid of everything and is procrastinating and playing their life small. If you want to be the CEO of a major brand, if you want to be at the top of your career field and doing huge things with your life, and you're still operating from the identity of, I can't do anything, everything's stressful. and procrastination mode, it's not really possible to get there because your mindset and the way you're perceiving the world and the way you're making decisions and your behaviors are not reflecting that of the person you wish to become. The biggest thing about manifesting and creating the life you want and pursuing your dreams stems in operating as that person already, behaving like that person already. Something that Bashar said to in another video that I was

watching. It was a video on manifesting your dream life. He was giving this advice of writing down all of the things and actions that you're currently doing in this very moment, writing down everything about your life now, and then writing down everything about your future self and what that person's doing, and then comparing the two, seeing the differences, and closing the gap on those differences. That's how you get to where you want to be in your life. Would that future version of you be procrastinating the way you are now? No, because you'd be out there moving and in flow and creating and doing what you love and talking to different people and dressing differently. You'd be operating in the world entirely differently than you are right now. If you write down both versions,

the version of you now and the version you wish to become and list out every single thing and then really recognize the differences and then learn how to close the gap on those differences. So you've become the future self. That's the biggest game changer in manifesting. So would you be speaking the same way? Would you be dressing the same way? Would you be sitting on your ass ordering takeout doing nothing tonight? or would you be writing a business proposal in an office, in a business suit at 8 p.m.

based on what you want to do. Okay. I'm just giving a random example. But how would that future you be operating right now? And then take every action you can to operate that way. It's easier said than done. It's also a matter of how bad do you want it? How bad do you actually want your dream life, your future life?

Because a lot of people say they want things and then they never take the action to get there because they really don't want it that bad. Because if you really, really wanted it that bad, you would do it. You would do whatever it takes to get there. The most successful people I know, they wanted what they wanted really, really bad. I know that I want to take this podcast to a totally different level on a global scale in a totally different way, just outside of the studio, like doing events, doing tour, having products, all this stuff, okay? I know I have so many goals. I feel like it's in my bones.

It's in my DNA. When I get up, I'm like, this is my. purpose. This is my passion. I love this. I love what I'm doing. I'm so grateful for what I'm doing. Keep in mind, I only felt this way over the last couple of years. But prior to that, throughout my 20s, I had zero clue what I wanted to do. So when you finally find that thing that overrides everything else and you're like, I need to do this. I need to do this. You'll start to embody the behavior of that future self naturally. When I started my podcast, I was in the studio every single day recording episodes. I didn't miss a day. Some episodes were terrible and I scrapped them and it didn't

matter. I just kept going. I kept moving. There were tons of episodes that I never posted because they were literally just not good for my standards and I was like, I can't put this out. But the whole thing was and the most important thing was I just kept going. I just kept moving. I kept doing. I kept creating because I was so invested in it and I was so passionate about it. When you find that thing that feels like it's built in your soul and it's part of your calling, you'll be able to start easily embodying the actions and the lifestyle of that future version of you. So ask yourself, what are the differences right now in my life currently and that future version of me that I could close the gap and work on and step my game up? What are the differences and how can I change my behavior? And the

second thing is, how bad do I want this? How bad do I want this? The next thing I want to talk about is the fear of being seen, because being seen can be intimidating, a little bit scary, especially if you live in this world of social media, which you do, because you're listening to this. The whole world, it feels like it's driven by social media. Now, I'm speaking from a place of being on the internet and being on social media, being one of the first Instagram influencers ever, okay? Probably. 15 years ago at this point. Even now, because I've seen, you know, how beautiful people are, how confident some people are, how funny people are. Being exposed to that has been a little bit

challenging for me because subconsciously, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you can easily start comparing yourself to other people because you're like, I know I'm amazing, I know I'm talented, I know I'm attractive, but compared to this person, I'm not. And I think it's a relatable thing. There's so many amazing, talented, incredible people out there online. And it's sometimes a little bit challenging because they're like, well, this person's great. There's so many amazing people. Is what I'm going to say really going to be a value? It could also tie into, you know, physical appearance. I was so nervous to start posting podcast videos because I'm so analytical and critical of my physical appearance. And the way I look, I'm getting older and I stopped doing

Botox over the last six months and you know, you see more wrinkles. You see things where I'm like, oh my God, I don't know if I want to post this video. I don't know if I look good. There's so many things that can eat at your brain. Okay. It's human and I've embraced it. Having the fear of being seen and being listened to and being spoken about and all these things, it is a really big step. It is a really big thing to face. But how I look at it is that how. How hiding in the shadows and playing it small and shying away from your greatest potential because you're afraid of what people think and you're afraid of how people perceive you. It will long term eat away at you and kill your soul and kill your passion because you're not acting because

you're afraid of what other people are thinking when 99% of the time you're going to actually be changing people's lives. You're built for amazing. things. You have so much to offer the world. You are so beautiful. You're so incredible. You're so talented. You have all of these things that are so amazing about you. And instead of focusing on that, you're worried about what probably one or two people are going to say about you. When there's going to be so many more people that appreciate your wisdom, think you're stunning and beautiful and want to see you shine and want to see you succeed. This is the thing. Okay. Why are you not really posting because you're afraid of being judged. You're afraid of being seen in a light that you

don't want to be seen in. I want you to rewire that. And I'm going to rewire it with you guys. Okay. I want you to reprogram it in your brain and trust that being visible, being seen is safe. And the more you shine your light on other people, the more wisdom you share, the more you share your passions, the more you share your voice, you're going to radiate that golden order. You're going to radiate that golden or you're going to radiate at a different frequency. And people respond to you in a positive way when you're in your passion, when you love what you do. They know.

They know that when you love what you do, they appreciate it, they respect it. And regardless of who's watching, regardless of who's listening, you're born to create and do what you love and do what lights you up. If you have wisdom to share, if you have a passion to share, if you're talented in something and you're afraid of the perception of other people, you're doing yourself the biggest disservice. Who cares? I don't want to sound morbid, but it's like really true. We're all going to die. No one's going to remember the one TikTok video you posted. No one's going to remember the one thing you shared on your story. So just do what you love. Tap into your passions. Tap into that flow

state. Don't be afraid to express yourself. The biggest thing I learned from doing a lot of healing work and doing my kundalini sessions is that I had a fear of speaking to people that were in my life that if I said the wrong thing or if I spoke a certain way, I had a fear of showing up because I was afraid they wouldn't love me anymore. I was afraid they wouldn't want to be with me anymore. It was a repetitive thing that I kept silencing my voice to keep the peace and to keep people in my life and keep people around. I was afraid if I spoke up, if I spoke my truth, they wouldn't like me or love me or want to be around me anymore.

I've often been told that I'm too intense for a lot of people. That made me want to be small and not speak as much because when someone tells you you're too intense, you're like, oh, fuck, I got to tone it down. But as I've healed more and stepped more into my power and more into my goddess energy, I'm realizing that the right. people in my life are never going to be afraid of me speaking my truth. They're going to value it. They're going to appreciate it and respect it and want to hear it. So by speaking my truth and truly being my authentic self and not being afraid to be seen, it's the most beautiful way to filter

out who's not meant for you and who is. There's nothing to lose. You have nothing to lose by being your truest self and being seen. Another example I'm thinking of is my relationship to religion now and talking about God on the podcast, which I never did up until this year. There's been several messages I've gotten that have been like, hey, I used to listen, but I had to turn your podcast off because you've mentioned God and it really put me off. But then what happened was I started getting so many more messages telling me, you actually changed my relationship with God. It brought me closer to him.

I love the new messaging. I love what you're doing. It's so important. I've gotten so many more messages like that recently where now I'm like, for every person that drops off, there's going to be hundreds of more people that will be attracted to the podcast. It reminded me of this fear being seen because I was afraid to speak of certain things because I was like, I don't know how people are going to resonate with this. Yeah, there were people that didn't resonate with it. But for every person that has dropped off, there's been so many more people that have come forward and express their gratitude and more people that have found the podcast. through me being truthful and me being not afraid to be seen and to speak about my life and to speak

about my beliefs. So it's a beautiful thing. And when you hold true to that frequency of living in your truth, magic happens. Always. You always attract the right people. You always attract the right community. And you'll always be supported by the right people that are supposed to be in your life. Another thing that I've been thinking about as to why we procrastinate is the emotional highs and lows of it all. Because if you crave chaos and you're used to chaos, and I'm guilty of this, okay, if you can't tell this episode is really me speaking for myself, but also hopefully it'll help you guys. But it's like my kick in the ass to myself today. I'm addicted to the highs and lows of that stress, of that dopamine from the last minute pressure because I work well under pressure. And I feel like sometimes when my back is up against the wall, I'm like, I have to do this.

I have to make the decision now. I have to work now because I have no choice. And that is why I think I procrastinated the book and other things. It's that rush of the drama over being disciplined and knowing what you're doing every single day and working towards a goal. It's like, oh, if I procrastinate this for a few months, then when I really have no time left and I'm on crunch hours, then I have to get it done and it causes this dopamine rush. that's something that I think really, really resonates with me a lot because I think I love being in high stress environments in order to get things done because it pushes me and forces me to do it. It's almost like a tradeoff where I'm like, oh, I could spend six months lulligagging around and just drinking cappuccinoes on the beach and whatever. And then I have 30 days left to complete this assignment.

I'm like, oh, wait, where did the last six months go? I had all this time now. I have to like run and do all these things to do it. and I'm on this adrenaline rush and dopamine high and whatever. I don't really know what chemicals are going on. But you get the point, that feeling of drama and like being in distress trying to get to an end goal is sometimes more thrilling and exciting and appealing than just getting shit done. What I've realized is recently, I need to grow up. I need to grow up and get my shit together.

And that way of working, if you're building a huge business, if you're working towards a massive goal and then you have other people. working for you or with you. It's not sustainable. You can't feed into the drama and do things last minute all the time. You can't be messy. You can't be sloppy with your goals. You've got to get disciplined and you've got to get mature and you've got to get real about what you're building and your legacy and what you're here to create. The next thing is you got to get your health and check if you want to be the best and start working on your goals. A lot of my procrastination also stemmed from not feeling at my prime, not feeling at my best energetically. And that was because of my gut health and I wasn't taking care of my body the way that I should have been because I just didn't know. I didn't know that

I had gut inflammation and issues. That can also affect your brain, affect your energy levels, and affect your overall health. You need to get your health in order in order to be at your best and create and live in that flow state. Getting enough sleep, getting enough sunlight, detoxing, often, lemon water in the morning, eating, nourishing foods, okay, moving your body, getting into a solid workout routine, really taking care of yourself and your body, your body is sacred, your body's a temple. Everything is energy. If we're not moving that energy through our body and we're not active and we're not taking care of ourselves physically, it's going to be really hard to create from the best possible state and to act on our dreams and act on our goals.

Over the last few months, I had a lot of gut inflammation and I had to do a full-blown detox. Once I got my health in that way in order and I started going to Pilates religiously, it was a non-negotiable, building my core strength, doing my muscles, eating healthier, way healthier, eating more protein, taking supplements, doing things that were really, really optimal for my health, I started to think more clearly. I started to get more focused and more in alignment and focus and laser in on my passions and my goals more.

This is actually really, really underratedly one of the most important pieces of this episode. If you're not in prime optimal physical health and your brain isn't turned on properly because your guts inflamed, you're not eating the right foods, you're not working out, it can really affect every other area your life. I've been drinking hot lemon water with peppermint leaves every single morning with a few

drops of black seed oil and black seed oil is an oil that's known to kill parasites or any inflammation in the gut and in the body. I've also been moving every single day, as I said, doing a Pilates class walking at least a minimum of 10,000 steps every single day, getting my sunlight in as much as I can here in London and cutting out anything that makes me sad, depressed, anxious as far as content media, songs, nothing. I listen to positive things. I listen to uplifting pop music, consume manifestation videos. I've really done as much as I can over the last month in particular to get myself in the best physical, mental, and spiritual shape as possible. I just started adding running back into my routines. So now I'm going to be doing more cardio, sweating it out in the

morning, cutting out processed sugars, drinking a lot more water in general. I never was hydrated enough. Water with electrolytes is super important too. Also prioritizing sleep, getting enough sleep. I've noticed such a difference with sleeping well and getting a proper sleep versus not. When I haven't slept well, I wake up, I'm puffy, I'm bloated, I'm foggy in my brain. I don't feel great. versus when I do sleep well, my face is snatched. I'm glowing differently. My body looks different. Everything looks so different when you sleep. So getting enough sleep, fueling your body properly, moving your body properly is a huge part of focusing on your goals. The last thing is affirming that procrastination no longer exists in your timeline. You don't know what procrastination is anymore. You're not tolerating

this concept of procrastination or delays anymore. There are no delays in your new timeline and the new version of you. There's no more giving yourself weak passes to take off and slack and coast. You have to shift the mindset now. And I want you to tell yourself, I'm no longer allowing delay to live in my timeline. I'm moving in divine urgency because I know, I know, that people need to hear my message. I no longer allow delays in my energetic field. I move quickly. I move effortlessly. I move in flow. I move in alignment, knowing that I'm working and building towards my destiny. I do not delay destiny. I'm not available for lame excuses anymore. Hesitation or slowness or stagnation. I'm not available for that energy anymore. I move according to my destiny.

focused. I'm unstoppable. I'm energized. I'm fearless. I have that fire inside of me. Every moment I wait, I'm betraying my destiny and my calling. When you think about it like that, it's kind of humbling. You're like, oh, shit. But I hope this can help you. You're supposed to walk out of this episode with a fire under your ass. Every moment you wait, you are delaying your destiny. You're betraying your divine mission and your calling. Stop making excuses. Stop waiting around. Stop delaying. your destiny. Now it's time to rise. Now it's time to dominate your life. Take control of your life. Understand that you've been given the gift of creation. You've been given this gift, whatever it is you're working towards. It's a gift. The second you make that decision to start working on it,

your life will turn around. Everything becomes magic because you're living in flow. You're living in alignment. You move now. Your dream life is not an option anymore. You're You move now. You work towards it now. You go now. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of Date Yourself Instead. Thank you so much, as always, for listening to the podcast. If you haven't already, be sure to rate it on Apple and Spotify and leave a comment on this episode if you enjoyed it. We may be doing a little digital book club as well. So if you're interested in that, be sure to drop a comment on Spotify or in my DM's at List L-Y-S-S or on the podcast account at yourself instead. I would love to hear from you all the messages, all the comments, everything.

I see everything and I really appreciate all the love, all the support as usual. Also be sure to check out the masterclasses. Dare to Detach and the Mind, Body, Soul, Reset, both of these masterclasses are not going to be available starting June 19th. Things are changing and we're closing the doors on those masterclasses. So don't miss the sale. Be sure to use the code golden ore at checkout. We're having a huge sale on both masterclasses. Doors are closing for the summer. So be sure to access and grab and download the masterclasses. Now, don't wait. You could go to the show notes on the podcast to download or go to my Instagram

at date yourself instead to find the link there as well. Thank you again, as always. I love you. And stay tuned for next Monday.